#and/or pray for me that would be nice too

[mm-lurking]

Malfunction: Heart Mode - Boothill

Based on this post. fem reader. Praying this is not ooc. Writing is kinda choppy, I tried my best. 1.6k words. tag: @nvuy hope you like it -- Boothill is one strong muddle-fudger. He does not give a rat's behind when it comes to romantic love, affection, and all that fudging nonsense. Even if it has crossed his mind, he's too busy dealing with the forking problems of the cosmos and most importantly trying to find that son of a nice lady who is responsible for killing his sweet angel and destroying his planet.

Yet here he is, standing in front of you at the bar with a drink in his hand as he hears his machine heart starting to whir. You both were regulars at the bar and often ran into each other from time to time. Your encounters were akin to something like being seatmates; there was enough information exchanged to know about each other yet it was nothing personal. While you didn't quite understand why he would disappear for long periods before returning like nothing happened, you never questioned it and were simply happy to see him again.

He too liked meeting up with you. He couldn't help but flash his razor-sharp teeth whenever he saw you; calling you “partner!” out loud before greeting you and asking how you had been. The little interactions you both had were always a pleasure and as time passed, he seemed to grow more attached to seeing you.

Today was a little different. Compared to your usual outfit, you were dressed up all fancy and the more he looked at you, the louder the whirring of his heart got.

"Fudge."

He mutters under his breath. You look at him inquisitively as he turns his head sideways and sighs.

"Something the matter Boothill?" "It's nothing partner."

You watch as he chugs down his glass and sets the empty vessel down on the bar counter before ordering more.

"I haven't even finished my first drink yet and you're already done?"

You laugh a little as you take a sip of your drink. The dim lights of the bar made your jewellery glow and alongside the reflections of other shiny things, you looked heavenly in his eyes. He doesn’t answer so you look over and find him dazed.

"Boothill...? Um, do you need some space?" "Fudge!"

He can't help but say it out loud this time, covering his face as he scrunches his eyebrows and frowns. This was not how he normally behaved. What in the hot diggity fudge was going on with him?

"Yes- I mean no, ugh fork me!"

You stand there confused (and slightly amused) at how he seems to be fighting himself like a madman. He almost looked possessed from how he kept going back and forth with himself as if he was surprised at what he was saying. Like his tongue wasn't his own.

"I'll give you some space."

The last thing you wanted was for him to hurt himself or those around him. You finally decide to leave just to make sure everything's alright only for him to grab your arm and then quickly let go in shock.

"Sorry 'bout that partner.”

Boothill awkwardly apologises for his unusual behaviour. Before you can reply, a drunk accidentally pushes you from behind and you lose your balance causing you to fall straight into his arms.

“I-!?” “Um…?!”

Both of you are speechless. He swiftly holds your waist with one hand while the other firmly holds onto malt juice. Your hands are tightly gripping his shoulders from the fear of falling. No coherent thought is spoken but the flustered look on your faces has got some of the bar regulars around you giggling.

You don’t even hear the apology of the one who accidentally pushed you. It's as if time has slowed down and nothing exists outside you both. Strangely, he doesn’t let you go and you don’t move either making things even more awkward.

The strong alcohol you were sipping on makes you tipsy and somehow gives you the courage to lift your head and gaze into Boothill's unique eyes. You've always admired how dashing he looks; from his physique to his dressing style and even his interesting way of speaking. And now here you were up close, staring disrespectfully at his face and how handsome he looked.

Boothill is no different either, he's gazing at you hesitantly as he tries to find something to say but the only thing that comes out of his mouth is-

“Fudge me…” “I'm sure the ladies at the ranch think about that regularly.”

You mumble without thinking and he tenses up.

“I- what?!”

He stutters as his cheeks turn slightly red and his eyes widen.

“Uh?! Nothing!”

You mentally slap yourself for blurting that out loud. Even if it was true, why did you have to say it and make things awkward? Come on! You both were having a somewhat endearingly awkward time together! 

You attempt to conjure up something to smooth things over but your thinking is disrupted by a strangely loud machine sound that seems to be coming from nearby. The whoosh is accompanied by irregular beeping sounds, almost like one of those technology things Boothill had told you about. 

You glance around to see if you can find the source only to realise-

It’s coming from Boothill.

“Oh.” You whisper under your breath but the cyborg (who still doesn't let you go nor drinks his beverage and is as still as a statue for some reason) hears you loud and clear.

“Something the matter, pretty lady?” “Yes. Do you plan on us staying in this position until the bar closes?”

Instead of answering his question, you deflect it with another. He turns red again and stammers badly which makes you giggle and further confirms your theory.

“Gotcha.”

Before Boothill can ask what you’re doing, you slowly drag your hands down his shoulders until they rest on his chest. You feel the rapid whirring of his heart through the vibrations it emits through your fingertips. A tiny smirk spreads on your face and you look back at him.

“You’re pretty cute.”

You flirtatiously speak. The look of confusion and embarrassment on his face makes you laugh harder.

“What- hey what- I-”

Boothill’s stammering only gets worse alongside the overheating of his heart. He tries to reply with a snarky comment but the only thing he’s capable of doing is squeezing your waist harder and propping himself up with the bar counter to avoid falling. You, being the woman you are, do not stop the teasing.

“You can’t handle affection, can you? Look at you sweet thing, your heart is overworking and your synesthesia beacon has already overheated.” “Shut…” “I barely said anything and you’re malfunctioning already? How amusing.” “Son of a nice lady…” “I am indeed the daughter of a nice lady.”

“You-!”

He is bewildered at your unexpected behaviour but that painfully obvious blush on his cheek tells you he's not mad about it.

“Oh dear,” you chuckle and pry yourself off his metal chest, “I should stop or else your…eccentric friends…will hold me responsible for any severe malfunctions.”

This was enough teasing from you today. If it were up to you, you would go on and on but you feared any dire consequences that would affect Boothill. You lift and steady yourself up nonchalantly as if you just didn't cause the ranger to nearly pass out from your shenanigans.

Despite the cold metal exterior, he feels the loss of warmth from you moving your body away. His hand slowly retracts from your waist but lingers as if he hesitates to let go. The overheating of his system rapidly starts to decrease, however, he is unable to calm his emotions down completely. He turns his attention away from his mechanical heart and gazes at you curiously while you fix your wrinkled dress.

“You are one hell of a woman.”

A long sigh leaves his mouth as he speaks as if still processing your chaos. A sly smile appears on your face when you (finally) hear him speak properly.

“Took you a while to get talking didn't it mister?”

That grin on your face screams ‘this wasn’t even my best attempt’ but he shrugs it off. He unknowingly takes a step closer to you as if wanting your presence as close to him as possible. The (welcomed) intrusion into your personal space causes you to sharply inhale. He simply places his hand over the rim of your filled glass and whispers gently.

“You think I'd let any lady come close like that?”

Your mouth practically foams as you try to formulate a response. Eventhough you're not looking him, you can feel his gaze on you which makes you nervous.

“I'll tell you something sweetheart. I've got some fudging business to attend to in a bit but the next time we meet, I'll finish what you started.”

His voice is low and rumbly as he subtly warns you of the consequences of your actions. He follows it with a tight squeeze of your hand and then steps away from you. Your mind protests his leave but you're too stunned to speak; had you put yourself on his wanted list now? 

There is a devilish smile on his face as he checks his gun and locks it before walking away with it casually. Next time, he'd show you what a cowboy is capable of.

Hey, at least you were living out the dreams of those ranch ladies. ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ©mm-lurking 2024 do not copy, steal or reuse my work.

[gotta-winwin]

2019 debut year <> first meetings - hyung line

word count: 2.4k TW: hints of anxiety, slight angst italics are in english, bolded words are in mandarin

౨ৎ ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ─── ─── ──౨ৎ

They had all returned back to their company early the next morning, anxiously waiting in their practice room to meet their new member. Coups was busy briefing everyone when Woozi finally walked in, late.

"Thank god, you're here." Joshua pulled Woozi to join them in the circle they had made sitting on the floor.

"Don't really got a choice." Woozi muttered, his posture screaming how he didn't want to be here.

Coups gave him a look over before deciding he couldn't deal with it right now. "Anyways," He continued. "I know you're all excited to meet and get to know her, but she's going to be already overwhelmed and confused being in a new country, we're not going to make it worse by crowding her all at once." He looked pointedly at DK, who seemed to be crawling out of his skin in pure excitement and anticipation. "So just say hello, introduce yourself and let her adjust to the environment. You'll have plenty of time to get to know her later."

"Hyung." Seungkwan raised his hand. "I can show her around the company."

Coups nodded. "Take Joshua with you, manager-hyung said her Korean's minimal."

"Just remember we've got practice at 2." Jeonghan reminded, smiling at how excited Seungkwan had already gotten. "We've got to teach her the choreo for Home."

"Got it." Hoshi mumbled from his spot on the floor, limbs spread as he laid stomach up. "Leave that to me."

Joshua frowned. "Are you sure?" Other murmurs of agreement came from the others, everyone hesitant on the idea. They were all scared Hoshi might traumatize the girl with his intensity.

Hoshi waved their concerns aside. "I'll be nice. Might need Joshua to join us though, I don't know how well I'll be able to communicate in English."

Just before Joshua could respond, the practice room's door cracked open as Cyana's brown hair peaked out, her eyes wide as she scanned the room.

SCOUPS:

The first thing that he noticed about Cyana when she walked into the practice room was that the girl was shaking. It was minimal and disguised well as she quickly covered her hands with her sleeves, but Coups caught on quickly that the girl was extremely nervous. Taking the initiative to approach her first, he did his best to smile and prayed he looked more friendly instead of terrified. "Hi." He waved, bowing slightly before introducing himself. "I'm S.Coups." His shoulder relaxed when Cyana gave him a shy smile, waving and bowing back. "Hi." She whispered, her voice quiet and soft. She said something in English, words too fast and too jumbled for him to make out. He turned to Joshua expectingly. "She said she knows who we all are. Said she studied us and watched our videos on the plane ride here." Joshua's eyes were full of mirth. "She's a little embarrassed." A weight seemed to lift off Coups' shoulders at the sound of the news. If Cyana had studied them on her own accord, he wouldn't have to be so worried about whether her work ethic would match their own. He sent a grateful smile to the girl, who was looking at Joshua with a mix of both gratitude and amazement. "Thank you." She smiled back, waving his thanks away. "It was nothing." She said slowly, face scrunched in concentration as she picked her away through the Korean sentence. "I watched your performances. You're all very talented."

JEONGHAN:

Cyana's Korean washed over his ears and he couldn't help the coo at how adorable her voice was. It held a slight accent but he could tell she had practiced her pronunciation quite well. "Aigoo." He stood up to introduce himself, shaking her hand and refusing to let her bow. "I'm Jeonghan." "Nice to meet you, Jeonghan. I'm Cyana." "Cyana." He tested her name, enjoying how it rolled off the tongue. "Pretty." He grinned when she blushed, her face tinting pink as she looked away. He watched as she said something in English to Joshua, who looked at Jeonghan once she was finished and bit back a laugh. "What?" He asked, annoyed he couldn't understand and that it felt like Joshua was laughing at his expense. "Tell me what she said, Shua." "She said you look prettier in person. And she asked if you always looked at people like you're about to prank them." The boys let out a laugh from behind them. "I told her sadly, yes." He turned back to the girl, ears red at the compliment but eyes crinkling in shared joy when he saw that she was giggling at his expense. "Tell her I have a feeling she'd enjoy joining in on my pranks, Shua. There's mischief hidden there, I bet."

JOSHUA:

Joshua found himself both a little prideful and a little embarrassed by the amount of attention he was receiving. It was the way Cyana seemed to already have pinpointed him as the English speaking one, turning to him instinctively whenever a member spoke. As he relayed information to and from the girl, he could see the gears turning in her head as she tried to translate their words herself, before giving up and sending him a sheepish look for help. "I'm Joshua, by the way." He said, once the excitement of their first introduction died down and conversation drifted between members about different things. Cyana smiled grateful at him, shuffling to his side to hear him over the chatter. "I know. Thank you for translating. I've been trying to learn Korean but I guess I'm not quite there yet." He shook his head. "Languages are hard to learn when you're not really needing to use them. You'll pick things up quick around us, trust me." He watched as she watched the others, confused when he picked up on a tinge of melancholy hiding behind her eyes. He didn't have much time to dwell on it though, Cyana turned back to face him, smiling when she caught him staring. She smiled as he quickly looked down. "You guys are close." She observed quietly. "Yeah." He nodded. "We all grew up together so we're like a family." There was something about her expression that made her seem wistful, as she watched the members interacting on the floor, a ghost of a smile on her lips when Hoshi grabbed onto DK's leg with a shout. "That sounds really nice." "You're apart of that now. This family." He gave her an apologetic smile. "Good luck, cause you're gonna need it. We're all a little crazy." She laughed, a real one this time, unlike the quiet and shy ones she'd given the others. Joshua watched as her face glowed, in a way that reminded him of when DK's face would glow with happiness whenever they were onstage. She looked really pretty happy. "You know I mean it, right. You're part of this family now." He repeated himself cause there was still something gnawing at him. He didn't really believe she believed him 100%. Cyana looked at him and he felt like he was under a microscope as she studied him for underlying meanings. "Thanks." She finally replied, her expression suddenly replaced by a warm smile. She looked like she wanted to say more, as if her lips were the dam holding a tidal wave of worries and fears within her. A heavy pang hit Joshua in the chest. He saw a lot of himself in her, the confusion, the hidden worry, the fear of not doing enough. It felt like looking into a mirror for his soul, and he knew he couldn't let her drown like he did predebut.

JUN:

Jun, although bubbling with excitement over finally seeing their new member, seemed glued to the spot on the floor where he sat. He could only watch, half amused at how shy Cyana was, half worried Woozi, who was sitting next to him, would do something rash. "Hi, I'm Cyana." He watched as she introduced herself to each of them individually, striking up a quick conversation with a few of them. "I'm Jun." He said, shaking her hand when she made her way down the line of members, reaching him. He gave her a nervous yet reassuring smile, noticing how she had deflated slightly from the cold introduction Woozi had given her. "I'm excited to work together." Her face light up at the familiar language. "Me too." He watched as she turned to say hi to Dino, who was next and was basically vibrating in anticipation. He knew he could've said a lot more. They didn't have a language barrier after all. He knew he should've told her how excited he was, not just to work together, but to have another Mandarin speaking friend. How he knew she was probably extremely nervous and scared to be thrust into the spotlight and that he would gladly be of support whenever she needed him. He wanted to let her know that Woozi was just worried and had SEVENTEEN's best intentions in mind and for her not to be too upset. Yet, as he watched Cyana finish her introductions and gravitate to Joshua's side, the words caught in his throat and he swallowed them back down. Minghao, who had noticed this, gave Jun a nudge. "You're too shy to say anything, aren't you." He gave him a teasing grin. "Shut up." He grumbled, still watching Cyana, who was speaking with Joshua. He would tell her all those things, just not now. Not anytime soon- he was far too nervous for that, but one day.

HOSHI:

"Hi!" Hoshi practically bounced to introduce himself to Cyana once it was his turn. He'd watched Jeonghan talk to the girl and figured he could just keep it simple like he had, yet all the thoughts of being calm and proper flew out the window the moment Cyana moved in front of him. "I'm Hoshi. Soonyoung. Hoshi." He stammered. Cyana's eyebrows furrowed, a little confused. "Hoshi?" He blushed, his face burning all of a sudden. "Yes. I'm Hoshi. Soonyoung-" He paused, trying to recall exactly what Vernon had told him to say when he had asked him for help last night. "-my korean name." Thankfully, Cyana seemed to understand, nodding her head. "Oh~ like how I have Cyana and Soyeon." He nodded. "Yes." "What does Hoshi mean?" She asked, genuinely curious to know how he had gotten the name and what it meant. Hoshi blanched. Vernon hadn't taught him this part. "Uhhh- tiger?" He wordlessly raised his hand in a tiger claw motion. Cyana giggled, mirroring him. "Horangi? That's cool." He beamed under the praise, proud he had successfully conveyed what he was trying to say. Feeling ambitious, he quickly recalled the other phrase he had asked Vernon to teach him upon realizing they had a new member coming from the states. "I, um- teach you dance, later. New comeback." "Oh, okay. Sounds fun." Cyana shot him one last smile, amused by the interaction and touched by how genuine he was. Later that day, Hoshi approached Cyana once more, signalling to the girl that practice had started. He tried his best to lead her through the first verse of Home, shoulders relaxing when he realized how fast she was picking up the choreo. "Good! Like, da da da dun~." He showed her once and watched as she mirrored his movement. "Nice!" She beamed under his praise. "Joshua told me you were scary as a dance teacher, but I'm having fun." "It's because you're good." Hoshi said, neither of them realizing that the other actually understood what they were saying. "Okay~ next one-" He moved on before Cyana could react to the compliment. The others watched on from the other side of the practice room as they went through the Home choreo themselves, brushing up on the routine they had learned a couple days ago. They watched in awe as Hoshi and Cyana danced together, the duo breaking into giggles and shared laughter as Hoshi taught her with patience and skill. "Why isn't he like that when he's teaching us?" Dino complained. "I never get that kind of energy from hyung."

WONWOO:

Wonwoo knew it was pitiful, the way he was hiding himself behind Mingyu as best as he could. He could sense Cyana's presence as she moved closer and closer towards where he stood, making her way through each member as she introduced herself. Pushing Mingyu to go first, he tried painfully to calm his breathing. "Hi." Cyana stood in front of him, her hand extended to shake his. "Hi." He watched, uselessly, as her hand dropped when he didn't take it. He didn't really know why, he felt as if the whole experience was taking years off his life and he could no longer feel his limbs. Mingyu coughed and he remembered he was supposed to say his name. "I'm Wonwoo." "Hi, Wonwoo." Cyana breathed out, perplexed and a little hurt by his coldness. He could tell she was waiting for him to say something but his mind was blank. He watched as she moved past him to say hi to Seungkwan instead. "You're useless." Mingyu snickered, laughing at Wonwoo's expense. "You should've seen your face." Wonwoo gave Mingyu a stone cold glare. The nervousness was gone and embarrassment was settling in, mixing with a twinge of anger. "Shut up." "She probably thinks you hate her, Woo." Wonwoo ignored him, but he knew Mingyu was probably right. He had left her hanging, refused to say more than his name to her and probably looked like he hated her throughout the whole thing. It was probably easier that way anyways. He knew from the moment she poked her head into their practice room that it was over for him. Maybe it was her voice, when she had talked to Seungcheol, maybe it was her laugh or the shining glow in her eyes, Wonwoo didn't care. All he knew was that falling for someone in his line of work was out of the question and that it was in SEVENTEEN's best interest that he keep Cyana as far away as possible. Let the girl hate him for all he cares. It was an emotion far easier to navigate than love.

WOOZI:

Woozi knew his body language was making it painfully obvious that he didn't want to be there. When Cyana walked in, he'd watched her interactions with Seungcheol and Jeonghan with apprehension written plainly across his face. He had nothing against the girl, god no. Really he felt bad for her, having no idea she was being used for Pledis' own gain and marketing ploys. It was just the circumstance and the fact that it was all happening to SEVENTEEN, a name he and the boys had worked so hard to get off the ground. "Hi." Cyana was quiet and skittish with him right off the bat. He supposed it was because she could tell he didn't particularly want her there. "Hi." He said, sighing and walking over to the monitor without a word. He mindlessly cued up the songs for practice, all the while deeply concentrated on what was happening behind him. He could hear Cyana's voice as she interacted with the others, her soft tinkering laugh when DK made a poor joke in English. He could hear the jumble of words she was speaking to Joshua and couldn't help but look back and notice how comfortable everyone was with her already. It terrified Woozi that he scanned the room and found nothing wrong with the picture in front of him. 14 people in SEVENTEEN's practice room. A girl. Throughout the rest of the day, as Hoshi taught Cyana their new choreo and the rest of them practiced synchronizing their levels, Woozi could tell the girl was trying to get to know him and was confused whenever he avoided her. He could tell it hurt her, that he was avoiding her like the plague, opting to speak to another member about fixes they needed to make whenever she so much as looked at him. It was just something she would have to get used to, Woozi reminded himself. The whole girl thing was not going to work and Pledis would realize that the moment their comeback backfired. They would move Cyana to a different group or have her debut solo. He was sure she'd be much more successful that way anyways. She wasn't permanent and Woozi knew it. There was no need to get to know someone they'd end up losing anyways.

author's notes: here's cyana's first meetings/impressions with the hyung line~ i promise the buildup and progress between woozi and wonwoo's relationships with cyana will pay off in the long run. i alr cannot wait to write the angst potential it has.

[kindalonely-ngl]

Sylus's Voice Call: Remote Support

Today I felt like listening to his voice so I re-listen to his old voice calls and I realized I haven't listen to his Remote Support call.

I've said this before that Sylus is the type of person who I will probably love and admire from a safe distance because I am scared(?), intimidated, feel small yet attracted and in awed by his huge and secure presence. Like if I get to befriend him, I will try my best not to show my naturally pessimistic side. I will seek advice, yes, but I wouldn't dare to complain and whine in front of him because I feel like he won't entertain such things and would prefer if we get our shit together and face the problems ahead. Sylus is someone who would push his person to be the better version of themself whether the person is ready to face themself or not. He's a fierce green flag, a kind of friend my mom would pray for me to have, and the person who I should hold on to. But for me and my low self-esteem, Sylus is simply intimidatingly admirable.

... and through this voice call, I could say that I was almost right.

Maybe because I've met some friends and acquintances who have almost similar mentality/personality/presence as Sylus and I remember their firm, "positive" response and optimistic outlook made me feel even smaller, extra pessimistic and weak. And as the call continued, I was hella nervous when MC kept on pointing out how he was acting different than the "usual" Sylus would act (pampering her, calming her down, playing along with her antics etc)

I was like "Girl, just say thank you and ask for a simple advice and support or something. Stop it I'm scared! 😭"

Maybe because I've never been too close to anyone in my life, most of the time I felt like MC is pushing it too far and that makes me feel scared and my social anxiety would just gradually makes its way into my already anxious heart. And I often thought to myself "Is this normal? Is this how people interact these days? Is this what they called a cute banter between people in love? Is this flirting? I'm scared." Especially when replying to the LIs texts, I always find myself feeling nervous, scared to choose between 3 options, as if there are right and wrong answers or the affinity level would drop if I choose the wrong one. Idk what to do with myself so sometimes I would left the texts unread for a few days until I'm ready lmao and that's how I actually am irl too.

Anyways, as my heart started pounding anxiously, waiting for his sharp remarks, I was relieved when he put them in words nicely. I was baffled at myself for expecting him to say mean things to MC lol.

When he said "believe in yourself" so softly I got teary eyes, heartbeat slowed down, I exhaled the breath I didn't realized I've been holding for a while and I just fell in love with him. Again.

And when he said that he would be there for MC anytime haaa such a heart pounding and warming phone call 😩.

I love him and I would love him to be real but at the same time I would be sad if he is real because I know he won't even glance at my negative, pessimistic, low self-esteem ass. Seeing how he loves MC whose personality I can't relate to at all, yeah just stay fictional, my dear Sylus.

In conclusion, I'm scaroused of Sylus.

[frogchiro]

I've never asked a question before, but your neighbor! James idea gave me so much brain rot because it was THAT good, and I had to write something about it or else I was going to die.

I was just writing whatever came to my head here, but I hope I did your idea justice:

"He saw her, oh did he see her, the pretty little thing that moved into an apartment just a few blocks down from his house a month ago. It was a shame really, James wouldn't get to see her as often as he would like but when he did, it became nearly impossible for him to focus on anything else.

You were all smooth skin and perfection with silky hair that he wanted tug on and run his fingers through coupled with the sweet sugary smell of vanilla from the perfume you always wore, it was just the right amount as to not be too overbearing yet heavy enough for him to get absolutely high of off, but James wouldn't have it any other way. 

Although, sometimes when he finds himself alone in the confines of his bedroom late at night, he’d begin to have second thoughts about the whole thing, this “feeling” or whatever he wanted to call it was completely one-sided. It bothered him to no end but at the same time the still logical part of his brain was telling every nerve ending in his body that this was wrong, so very wrong. 

This only made him want you even more, and this terrified him.

The filthy thoughts he had of you were always constantly buzzing around in his head like TV static that he didn't know whether to turn off and ignore or entertain just to see what would happen to himself. At some point James knew that he couldn't have his feet in both worlds, a decision would have to be made. 

The only thing James could do right now was pray that he could keep this little game of his going as long as possible, no matter what it'd cost him. 

He knew he was walking a tightrope, but he wanted so much more.

Then one day it happened, on his way to work, in the early light of the morning, that he saw you right outside of his window wearing a pastel blue sweater, a pair of black sneakers and a white colored pleated mini skirt that was leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination with your hair tied up into two space buns.

James found it all incredibly adorable yet also undeniably sexy, what he wouldn’t have given in that moment to drag you into his house, take you up to his bedroom and lick every single part of you that his tongue could reach. Were you a screamer? Or were you one of those shy girls that stayed quiet? Honestly it wouldn’t matter to him in the slightest, he’d have you screaming his name until that pretty little throat of yours hurt, regardless.

The opening noise of his front door made you look up at him with a bright smile and as embarrassing as it is for him to look back on this particular interaction now, he almost groaned, just from the sight of you even back then. 

And it got even better when you opened that gorgeous mouth and James could practically feel the chemistry of his brain shift when you spoke, “Hi! I'm (Y/N), nice to finally meet you, I was just going around the neighborhood and introducing myself to everyone. I just moved in, it's James, right?”

Oh god, he thought, I’m so fucked."

Yeah, so I just wanted to share that before I exploded, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

Ahhh thank you very much for this delicious thing dear!!

And yeah, you're honestly so right, James would be so thirsty and borderline obsessed that he'd start to be kinda creepy :(

He'd fantasize about you, your body, your scent, how you'd sound in bed if he actually took you; would you scream for him? Would you let out those sweet shy whimpers? Were you a sweet sweet virgin, just his for the taking and never letting you go?

I kind of see him as feeling guilty at times; look at him and look at you. He was a tired, washed out widower in his 30's with a boring office job. Sure it made him quite good money but what was the point of it if he didn't even know what to spend it on?

And then there was you, the sweet 20-something college girl who smelled like vanilla, was bright, smart, kind and had an amazing future in front of her, what would someone like you want to do anything with a guy like him?

His thoughts would race, his guilt rising until the moment you actually spoke to him, introducing yourself to James, your voice sweet with a tinge of shyness to it as you explained that you're just introducing yourself as the new neighbour.

Oh he was fucked.

[globalrebrand]

i love all ur depictions of vil and i’m so happy u took a liking to lyney who’s also my fav ❤️ ur toxic vil in particular haunts my brain, lives in my floorboards and echoes in the halls of my mind at night….so may i humbly please request “forcing them to divulge past traumas or secrets” with vil? 🥹

Warnings: Dead dove, do not eat. Mentions of past sexual assault, nonconsensual age gap relationship.

Vil had been quiet since you'd left the party.

This wasn't unlike him. At the end of a long night of socializing, he generally preferred to hold your hand or, even better, sit with you tucked against his side in the back of his car while his driver navigated you both to his penthouse.

But tonight, the gap between the middle seat felt like an unbridgeable canyon stretched between the two of you.

It was his father's 50th birthday celebration held at the family home. The Shaftlands elite came out in droves to celebrate the beloved Eric Venue.

The night started well enough. Vil was more than happy to introduce you to his wider circle of famous friends and loved ones. As an up-and-coming model with a promising career (even more so with Vil proudly claiming you as his), your agent wouldn't let you forget how this was a rare opportunity to expand your network, but you weren't here for any of that. Tonight, all you wanted to do was support your boyfriend and his father at this critical milestone.

Vil made the rounds with you, introducing you to well known actors, actresses, veteran supermodels, producers and directors all gathered to celebrate his father.

You and Vil were in fragile territory as a couple. If you were able to successfully demonstrate that you could be one of them, an elite, a star, then you and Vil were looking at a future as one of the foremost power couples in the industry.

Thankfully, things were going splendidly; you spoke at the correct times and came off as appropriately humble and down to earth as an outsider in such an elite group. You took great pride in how Vil beamed as he watched you gracefully interact with these other celebrities, your natural charisma on full display. It was hard to get any higher off the fumes of his affection, then he paused, observing you with a tender look and petting the apple of your cheek with a smooth thumb before quietly admitting, "I'm so happy I have you."

That was until you ran into him.

"There's one more person I want you to meet," Vil said warmly, urging you away from your current conversation to meet a distinguished-looking white-haired gentleman.

"Uncle Valle, this is my girlfriend." Vil beamed but the director had a sickening look on his face, ignoring his nephew and addressing you with far too much familiarity.

"Long time no see." You froze. Valle Mensing is a world-famous director and a man you'd desperately hoped never to see again.

"Uh- I think you're mistaken. It's nice to meet you." You avoided eye contact, suddenly finding your shoes interesting, was you felt Vil bore daggers into the side of your head.

The older man raises an eyebrow in slight disbelief.

"Hmmm, you're right my mistake." Thankfully Valle just patted Vil on the back mentioning, "lovely girl you got there, take good care of her."

Vil grabbed your hand and tugged you close to whisper in your ear.

"What was that?" You wouldn't do this now, couldn't.

"Vil, I feel a little sick. I'm going to step out into the garden. If you'll excuse me," you excused yourself, leaving Vil absolutely baffled and more than definitely ensuring that he was suspicious of your interaction with his beloved uncle.

You had no idea they were so close, and now you were scared. You prayed Vil would just let it alone, as unlikely as it would be, but you didn't want to make him choose. Rather, you didn't want to be rejected by him in favor of his dastardly uncle.

You both left shortly after. Vil's mood was considerably soured, and a paranoid expression became etched into your features.

Now, it has been about 20 minutes of driving, and still, no word has passed between you.

Uncertain of what to anticipate, you needed to at least confirm where Vil would be dropping you off tonight. You had a sinking suspicion that your behavior tonight didn't earn you the privilege to share his bed.

"Are you dropping me off or-" You're quickly interrupted.

"What relationship do you have with my uncle?" Vil turned to look at you, his eyes already brimming with judgment.

The impulse to lie was so strong. You'd done it for so long. You knew Vil would likely see right through it, but you had to try. Try to protect yourself and him from the truth. It was only when you were with Vil that you felt as if you had any worth. If he knew your past, what had actually transpired between you and his uncle, you're certain he would no longer want you.

And then, who would you be?

"I don't have any-" You started, but as you suspect, you were cut off almost immediately.

"Why did he say 'long time no see?'" Vil questioned, leering over you with a raised brow. "Don't play dumb. It's unbecoming." He scolded, a coldness in his eyes but an unmistakable look of morbid curiosity. Vil likely already suspected what you would reveal to him, but he wanted to hear it from your lips and force you to bear the most vulnerable parts of yourself to him.

"Vil I-"

"I saw you speak to him in the garden. What were you speaking about."

"It was a long time ago." Your face was hot, and your voice pinched and weary. Tears threatening to spill at any moment.

Vil sighed, exasperated and desperate for the truth. It was obvious he was done waiting for you to confess in earnest.

"Did you fuck him?" The words struck you like a blade to the chest.

"Please, I-" You wanted to retreat and hide, but there was no cover from Vil's relentless barrage of questions and accusations in the backseat.

"Did you or did you not. If you don't tell me now, we're finished."

A long silence passed between you as you tried to form the words in your mouth.

"Yes." The words come out cracked and dry. A horrible truth you didn't want to deny. The tears had started falling now, hysterical sobs wracking your entire body. You prayed the driver had the decency not to spare you a glance.

"Did he force you?" Vil questioned. Less angry, but not even remotely comforting.

"It doesn't matter, please. I just want to live in the now with you!"

"He did, didn't he. He raped you?" You tried to verbalize to say yes, he did...many times, but all you could do was nod wordlessly.

"I need you to tell me exactly what happened tonight."

"H-he asked me why I didn't tell you about our relationship. And I said because it's not something I'm proud of." Calming yourself with stuttering breaths, you admit, "Vil, I'm not lying when I say it is my greatest shame."

"Why don't people know about this?" He's angry. Hurt.

"Because...I wasn't exactly of age at the time." Vil startles, like you've smacked him.

Quietly, as asked, "How old were you?"

"15."

He curses in his native tongue, looking angry and disgusted.

"My agency lied about my age to get me into the country." You went on to explain.

I didn't want to, but they said the connection would benefit my career, and I didn't know any better.

"I've never told anyone."

At that Vil perked up. A pitying look on his face as he embraced you for the first time since you left the party.

"You should not have been subjected to anything so horrible."

We'll go to my home. I wouldn't want you to be alone after having to face that awful man.

"You won't say anything, right?" You plead. Vil tsks.

My love, he can't be allowed to go free.

Think about all of the other women- No. Girls. He's hurt because of your silence.

You were very courageous in telling me, but I cannot allow you to be silent about this any longer."

Don't worry, darling. No one who hurts will ever be allowed to go unpunished.

You nodded and clung tighter to your boyfriend, grateful that, at least, he didn't seem like he would leave you, but somehow, you weren't comforted by his assertion.

[brown-little-robin]

.

[rosylamb]

I thought I’d speak a little more about my father today as I feel ok enough to do so, and I’m ready to talk more now.

Simply put : my father has Parkinson’s disease. He’s had it since I was small — I haven’t known him without it honestly.

Parkinson’s is a neurodegenerative disease that affects dopamine-producing neurons. It gets progressively worse with time until you eventually lose the ability to walk, talk, and perform most basic functions.

Parkinson’s patient brains also produce ‘Lewy bodies’ which are unusual clumps of protein alpha-synuclein. This leads to ‘Lewy Body Dementia’ which my father has as well.

I have always known this is how it would be. It has been a long time watching him get worse, and it accelerated quickly the past year.

I really can’t say how awful this disease is.

This is why he has in hospice as I mentioned before.

He’s never complained in all the years though. He’s suffered greatly, and still remained kind, gentle, uplifting and full of faith in God. Always grateful even on his most painful days.

(This is how he has always been. I’m so proud he’s my father — I hope I’m even half the person he is someday)

I had a difficult discussion with his nurses recently. It’s been hard to process. I think my mother is struggling, and doing poorly with the news so I will speak little on it. (It was hard to write this as well) but I wanted to be up front about things.

Because there are some truly kind people here, and I would not wish anyone to feel hurt or worry by my quietness ♡

If you’ve prayed, wished me or my father well, or shared kindness I appreciate it sincerely, give a warm hug, and thank the Lord for it!

You are not being ignored — I have just been distracting myself here or often do not have the energy or mind to speak. I hope you understand ♡

Thank you again for all the warmth and caring I’ve received; even if I don’t say anything please know it still lifts my spirits and means much to me! Wishing love and comfort to you today ~ please take care, sweet friends ♡

[souenkun]

Maybe manifesting for your favorite character to appear in the gacha game you've been addicted by writing them in a fanfic actually works! 🤯

Excerpt taken from "the home that awaits us".

[kiddokori]

guys i caught a mouse at work today

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Applying to an apartment with little income and terrible credit score, in hopes that they'll be desperate enough to take me

[mazojo]

The feminism leaving my body anytime Eilisha from Love Island Australia

[snapshotxsinners]

|| I really wanted to doodle more halloween stuff and do event things too, but the last couple weeks have been HELLA busy. Been none stop preparing for Halloween, and my Mates Hen's Party. Not to mention all my darn doctor visits! Ooft.

( I'm okay btw. Just have to do a buncha scans to check me thyroid and kidneys. I will have to do surgery at some point to get a kidney stone removed tho edlkcfmsd ).

But I reckon I'd get back to more normal activity by mid/late November. Or at least I hope so!! ||

[firstroseofspring]

thinking pondering to me john torres is like. what if u met a woman. with confidence and dignity and a strong moral backbone. you meet and she makes a distinct impression with her honesty and her frankness and she seems like she's always sure of what she wants and what she needs and she's so different from anyone else you know and thats exciting and she's exciting and she likes you specifically you. and you don't think much of you but it feels good to be liked by someone like that. you love her of course. you marry her. of course!

[tsukasalover]

(credits to ssruis)

This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did

(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)

[autistic-shaiapouf]

Also hoping things at work pan out the way they're looking bc it's so surreal to know I'll be in a position where people are gonna be looking up to me

[kulliare]

realizing now how uncomfortable i am looking at myself in photos is both because of the trans thing but also general appearance issues