#and/or pray for me that would be nice too

[moondustbaby]

Checkmate, Baby

nerd!Rafe x sorority girl!Reader

a/n: based on this request! 💌

summary: It’s halfway through the semester and Rafe’s been trying not to fall for his biology partner. But with his annual chess banquet coming up, he finally works up the nerve to ask her to be his date.

⸻

Rafe doesn’t mean to stare.

But you’re chewing on the end of your pen, a tiny crinkle between your brows as you skim over your shared notes, and you’ve got your nails painted this soft glittery pink that makes his throat go dry. You’re wearing a sweatshirt from your sorority, your legs tucked up under you on his twin bed like you’ve always belonged there.

“I’m thinking we test your reaction times next,” you say, glancing up at him. “Y’know, just to compare how caffeine hits differently.”

“Oh. Yeah. Cool.” Rafe nods too fast, nearly sending his pencil flying. “That’s good. Good idea.”

You grin. “You okay?”

“Fine. Perfect.” He laughs awkwardly and looks away, praying the heat in his ears isn’t as visible as it feels.

God, you make him nervous. Still. And you’ve been doing this for weeks.

It’s not like he hasn’t gotten to know you. You’re actually… nice. He was half-convinced you were just humoring him at first—some social experiment or sorority hazing ritual—but you’re smart, and kind, and always refill his water bottle when he forgets. You remember his favorite color. You ask about his research.

And maybe that’s why this whole chess banquet thing has him practically breaking out in hives.

“So,” he says finally, voice cracking halfway through. “There’s this, um… event thing. It’s dumb. Super dumb. You don’t have to come.”

You tilt your head. “What kind of event?”

“It’s—uh. It’s a chess banquet. End of season.” He rubs the back of his neck and refuses to make eye contact. “They make us go. There’s trophies. Lame speeches. But there’s food? And tables. And probably bad punch.”

He swallows. “And I was wondering if you might want to go. With me. Like… as my date.”

You blink. “Wait, really?”

His stomach lurches. “It’s totally fine if not. I get it. It’s not your thing. You probably have better plans. Just forget I—”

“Rafe.” You smile softly, reaching over to touch his arm. “I would love to go with you.”

His eyes snap to yours. “You would?”

“Yeah!” you beam. “Like, are you kidding? A banquet? With trophies? And nerdy speeches? I’m so in. Should I wear a dress? Like, is it formal?”

He blinks at you. “I mean… kind of? I think people dress nice. Like, business casual. But you could wear… anything. You’d look—uh. Great. In anything.”

You giggle. “You’re cute.”

And he short-circuits right there.

⸻

By the time the banquet rolls around, Rafe’s sure he’s going to pass out.

You’d insisted on meeting at his dorm, and now you’re standing in his doorway, dress swishing around your thighs, a little black ribbon in your hair, and a smile that could kill him dead. You’re holding a tote bag with snacks “just in case,” and he has never felt more like a man in his life than when you reach for his arm without hesitation and say, “Ready, date?”

He can’t stop looking at you. You’re so excited to be there. Asking him about the other chess guys. Complimenting the dorky trophy table. Holding his hand under the table when his palms get sweaty from the guest speaker calling him “Cameron the Kingmaker.”

At one point, you even say—dead serious—“I hope there’s a team photo. I want to be in it.”

Rafe nearly faints.

Later, he walks you back to your sorority house. You’re barefoot, heels in hand, still glowing from the cheap sparkling cider they handed out like champagne.

“I had so much fun,” you say, spinning in front of him. “Thank you for asking me.”

He ducks his head, sheepish. “I thought you might laugh at me.”

You frown. “Why would I laugh?”

He shrugs. “I dunno. I’m not exactly the kind of guy sorority girls usually go for.”

“Well, lucky for you,” you say, stepping in close and booping his nose with your finger, “I don’t go for just any guy.”

Then, before he can short-circuit again, you press a kiss to his cheek. “Night, lab boy.”

And he just stands there on the sidewalk, grinning like an idiot.

a/n: i LOVED writing this. flustered boy genius + supportive pretty girl?? my roman empire. i’ll never recover from rafe saying “uh. you could wear anything” while internally combusting. sorry this took me a bit to get to, but thank you so much for sending a request in angel!! 🫶🏻

♥️ lani

Send Me Requests! 💌

Masterlist

𝒯𝒶𝑔𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉:

@tiaajosephin

[booksandteaandtears]

close calls: the first time

Dr. Jack Abott x f!attending!wife!reader

Summary: the first out of three times you and your husband almost revealed you were married before the events of That's your wife? sunshine version

masterlist

the first time

You'd bought new pink scrub because one of your six year old cancer patient's favourite colour was hot pink. That day was her surgery and you wanted to surprise her when she woke up. You'd put the scrubs in a tote bag, ready to take with you and get changed after the surgery.

You and Jack usually took turns washing both of your scrubs, so Jack thought you'd washed his scrubs and put them in the bag for him. He was in a hurry so he didn't check they were actually his, planning to get changed at the hospital. He didn't even notice there were two bags.

You left after him and took the remaining tote bag, not bothering to check the inside.

Fate had it that Jack had taken over a dayshift; any other day you would have noticed the switch up during your own shift and sent him a text so he'd know to take some other scrubs. But today you arrived at the hospital at roughly the same time, and you were in hospital issued scrubs for surgery the whole morning, so you didn't notice. When Jack stood in front of his locker to change and found bright pink scrubs, he was frozen for a second.

He tried to reach you, but got your voicemail because you were already in surgery. This scrub debacle was nowhere near important enough to call you out of surgery for on the hospital phone. He debated wearing you pink scrubs for a minute, hating the cheap hospital scrubs, but decided against it because it would be too big a contrast to his usual black. There was enough gossip on the ER floor without their depressed attending turned up in scrubs that looked like they had been steeped in a bath of markers.

Just as he was shoving the pink scrub top back into it's bag, Perlah stepped in. "Hi doc, trauma incoming, pedestrian versus moped, ETA 3 minutes." She stopped as she saw a flash of pink.

"You got some new scrubs doc? Hot colour."

Jack stared at her and felt some colour creep into his cheeks.

"It's not mine."

He regretted saying that as soon as the words left his mouth.

Perlah raised an eyebrow. "Not yours? Whose is it then?" He chose to remain silent. "I'll get you some other scrubs from the machine, ETA for that trauma is 2 minutes now, it's gonna be a bloody one."

Jack cursed when he shoved his bag into his locker. It had to be nurse Perlah walking in at that exact time, now the entire ER would know within he had brought pink scrubs that day, and the rest of the hospital would know by noon.

Half an hour later Jack was sitting at the desk under the guise of checking some files, but secretly trying to catch his name in the Tagalog that Perlah was whispering to Princess.

He did catch some dramatic gasps and giggles, but not his name. He just had to pray she'd keep it to herself a little longer.

Dana was looking at him from the other side of the room, very aware that his eyes weren't moving across the screen, but focusing on an empty bed in the corner.

She cleared her throat. "Have you learned Tagalog in the past week and are you eavesdropping or are you waiting for a certain name to come up."

Jack looked at her and stared. "Perlah told me she saw you with some hot pink scrubs in the lounge. Did you have a switch up this morning or do you want to change that boring black costume you doctors decided on? I for one would like a nice burgundy for the nurses while you're at it, we'll match with all the blood around here."

Jack sighed and nodded. "This is what happens when I leave my gloomy night shift, things go wrong and I end up with my," he lowered his voice to a whisper, "wife's scrubs."

Dana knew about your marriage, of course. Her and Jack had been friends for a long time, so she'd met you long before you started working at the PTMC. You'd met Dana for after work wine hour dozens of time, had babysat her kids when she was filling in on the night shift. You'd even talked her into coming back to the Pitt after she told Robby she'd leave, because you were absolutely sure she would regret it for the rest of her life is she'd have actually left. Both Dana and Robby had been sworn to secrecy about who you were by Jack the minute you'd started working there.

Dana broke into a smile, the wrinkles near her eyes tilting upwards. "I'll cover for you when she comes down, don't worry about it. She told me about the kid she wants to surprise, texted me a pic of the scrubs last night."

Jack nodded his thanks. "You're a godsend Dana." "I know, I know," She said while walking off, "I do expect a coffee and some sweet treats for my good deeds though!"

That afternoon you snuck down to the ER, hoping to go into the lounge, grab you scrubs and get out as fast as possible, and hopefully flee without anyone noticing.

You'd contemplated not wearing the scrubs that afternoon, but the thought of how happy your patient would be had won out in the end.

You'd made it into the lounge, opening Jack's locker (the passcode was your birthday, easy guess), and had grabbed the bag when you heard the door open behind you. You quickly shut the locker and turned around, hiding the scrubs behind your back.

"Hi Mel, good to see you! How have you been?" Mel's eyes lit up when she saw you. "Hi, I wasn't expecting you here! It's good to see you, did you get called down for a consult?"

You blinked at her for a second before adapting to the situation at hand. "uh- Yes! I got paged down a couple minutes ago. Didn't see what is was for though. I was trying to find Dana so she could tell me. But I guess she's not here!"

Mel looked over her shoulder out of the door she was holding open. "She was at the desk last I saw her? I think she's been there for the last ten minutes?"

Fuck, you should have told Mel you were looking for someone else, of course Dana was going to be at the desk. That's were she's supposed to be.

"Ah, yes. Should have looked there to start with of course. My brain's mush from surgery, sorry."

Mel smiled back at you. You were sorry to lie to such a sweet face.

"That's alright! I'll come with you to Dana, I'd like to do some more pediatric cases so I'd love to tag along, if that's alright with you?"

"Of course, doctor King!" You said brightly, "You're always welcome to."

You gestured for her to leave first, your face falling as soon as she'd turned her back on you. This was going great; you were nearly caught, had to lie to such a sweet girl, that was now also excited to help you with a case that you had made up and did not actually exist, and you were still hiding the scrubs behind your back awkwardly.

You should have just bought a pink plushie instead of going through all this trouble.

Jack saw you leaving the lounge, but he had his finger in a chest wall to properly place a chest tube so he was not in the position to save you.

Dana was staring at the board trying to figure out who to kick out to get some beds free when you called for her.

"Dana! You lovely human being, I have not seen you in so long, how are you sweetheart?"

Dana turned and smiled at you. "Well if that isn't my favourite surgeon. You down here to pick up the scrubs that Ja-"

Your eyes widened in emergency, gently nodding to Mel right beside you. Dana got the message and scrunched her forehead in apology for nearly exposing you.

"I just told Dr. King I was looking for you. I got a page a couple of minutes ago?"

You tried to convey to Dana that you needed her to cover for you by enunciating the word page extra clearly.

Dana raised her brows at you, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes . "We currently have zero patients under the age of 25. But I've got a confused old man who came here in his wife's clothes? Maybe you can help him out?"

You blinked. Fuck. Dana was having too much fun digging your grave.

"Ah. Must have been an error then. I'll... pass on the old man, they need me back upstairs."

Mercifully, Jack was free to save you right then.

"Hi there." He greeted you and turned to Mel. "Dr. King, could you check in curtain four? Whitaker's been in there to take a LOL's history for the last twenty minutes, he might need some saving."

Mel accepted happily and left Dana, Jack and you alone at the nurses' station. You were still clutching the scrubs behind your back.

Dana started laughing.

"You should have seen her face Jack, she was terrified of trying to trick Mel, the poor thing. Can't even lie to keep her own secrets."

You sighed and leaned into the desk, dumping the scrubs on top. You buried your face in them. "You almost spilled our secret Dana, that's not funny." You whined through the fabric.

Dana squeezed you arm. "Don't worry pet, I stopped saying Jack's name as soon as I saw her. I'm sorry it got so close. I shouldn't have teased you after, but the look on your face was amazing."

You squeezed her back. "That's alright. I'm just wound up from surgery, I actually liked your joke about the old man."

Jack chose to ignore those words and turned you towards him, hands on your shoulders, his eyes finding yours and staying there. "How was surgery? Everything went well?"

You nodded at him. "Only some minor complications, but nothing that wasn't within the line of expectation. She's due to wake up any minute now."

Jack squeezed your shoulders.

"I'm sorry about you having to come down. I should have checked the bag before I left. You were so excited about your new scrubs last night I should have realised you were taking them in the morning."

"It's fine, Jack. I should've checked as well."

You stood there for a second longer, not willing to let go of his hand on your shoulders.

He smiled at you and let go, reaching for the scrubs to hand them to you.

"Nobody questioned anything, right Jack?" You asked and Jack nodded. "Nobody noticed. We're still a secret."

You smiled and mouthed "I love you" before sneaking off to the lift.

Perlah had been watching for the past five minutes. The bright pink scrubs she saw first with Dr. Abbot this morning and now leaving the floor in your hands were starting to make sense. She was also an excellent lip reader.

She turned around to look for Princess to discuss her findings when Dana caught her. "Don't." Said the charge nurse, "They want to keep it a secret, they've got their reasons. Don't spoil it. I'll know who spread the rumour."

Perlah kept your secret.

Abbot bought Dana a very nice coffee and a cake the size of a small child, because he knew very well how much she did to keep Jack and your's secret.

[sugarhog05]

SORRY I GOT LAZY AT THE END LMAO

Has he… ever felt bad about feeding before? He tries thinking back on it despite a small part of him already knowing. No, he’s never had any sympathy for his food before. Maybe it was because they were criminals? People who knew what they were signing up for when they got involved with his employers, criminals who hadn’t shown him an ounce of kindness. He pauses, then laughs to himself. Being nice to the guy who’s about to turn you into dinner? Yeah, fat chance.

He knows you hate being fed on. He’s never been very gentle with you, always biting to hard or drinking for too long… it’s wearing on you and for whatever stupid reason, it bothers him. He hates that it bothers him… because now he’s been taking the opportunity to feed on you less and less. Which wouldn’t be much of a problem if it weren’t for the fact that his usual victims tasted absolutely rotten compared to you. He curses you for ruining his ability to feed on any average lowlife, and yet he can’t help but venerate you.

Not only for how fffucking heavenly you taste, but how you are in general. You’re kind unconditionally, trusting to a fault. Hell, it’s why he was able to even get you to invite him inside your home. A mistake you would pay dearly for.

…And yet despite how awful he’s been to you, when he stumbled through your door and subsequently tripped over his own feet you rushed to his side with no hesitation. He’d gone too long without feeding. With trying to space out drinking from you and not feeding on his hits, he hadn’t eaten in nearly two weeks. He hadn’t even realized he was on the ground until you had cupped his cheek. He’d pushed you away as soon as he came to, covering his mouth with his sleeve.

His speech was slurred, but he managed to get the words out after taking a second to come to his senses. “The fuck are you doing? Get away from me.” You flinched at his tone. He’d been more harsh than he’d intended, but he was frustrated by how willing you’d been to even get near him. You were so trusting of him, something he hadn’t earned and he had proven that time and time again. So why are you still sitting with him? Worrying over him? Caring for him?

“Moon, you just stumbled through my door and fell over at 4 in the morning. You… really don’t look so good. What’s wrong?” …And there it is, the guilt and regret that came with being what he was. He’d never felt guilty about what he was before. Never regretted not being… normal. Until you. Christ… you really were the source of all his problems, weren’t you? He sits up finally with his back against the wall and he gives you a quick glance.

Even now, he’s hesitant to bring it up. He doesn’t want to upset you. When has he ever gave a shit about upsetting someone? …He bites the bullet.

“Haven’t… haven’t eaten in a while.” He can’t look you in the eyes, but he can see when your body freezes up. He hears your heart quicken in your chest and the fear that radiates from you is palpable. It makes him want to rip his own guts out. There’s a long silence, one he doesn’t dare break.

He jumps a bit when you finally do say something. “You… you’ve been feeding from me less and less… does that have something to do with it?” He can’t look at you still, but he nods.

“…Can I ask why?” Shit, shit, shit… he guesses it was stupid to think you wouldn’t ask why. The worst part is he doesn’t even know! He tries to think of an excuse, but with how much his heads swimming he doesn’t have the capability to lie. So he opts for silence. You wait a while, before sighing. He hopes, prays to a God he doesn’t believe in that you’ll just leave him there alone on the floor where he’ll eventually pick himself up and try to find some thug to force himself to eat.

But you don’t. Of course you don’t, when have you ever been anything like what he’d expect? That point is further proven when for some godforsaken reason you scoot closer to him. You startle him by shoving your wrist towards him, your hand in a fist and visibly trembling. He looks at your hand… then back at you, and back to your hand again.

“What are you doing.” His voice trembles a bit at the end.

“You said… you hadn’t eaten in a while. So… f-feed from me.” He tries to search your face for… what, he’s not sure. You won’t look at him and your face is deathly pale. Ironically, you look like you’re about to pass out. He doesn’t find malicious intent however, just… fear. And determination, but mostly fear. His gut swims with a feeling he cannot name as he, more gingerly then he’s ever been, takes your hand.

You’d let him feed from you, despite how terrified you must’ve been. He had tried to be as gentle as he could in his ravenous state, but as soon as your blood touched his lips he nearly pounced on you. He’d drank more than he should have, and though you’d given him your blood willingly he’d still been unable to not cause you pain. He takes a trembling artificial breath as he approaches your room. He’d asked you early on in the day to drink from you, and he was determined to be gentle. When he opens the door, the sight of you sitting at your windowsill looking absolutely resigned only served to steel his resolve. He cannot mess this up.

When he doesn’t move from his place in the doorframe you glance back at him. He snaps himself out of his thoughts and as he approaches you go back to looking out the windowsill. He tries to be soft when he touches you, but still instinctively you hunch in on yourself. He slides one hand down your arm and with the other he cups your cheek. Typically, he would just grab your chin and force you to expose your neck to him, but instead he just… holds it there. You’re visibly confused, but eventually you start to lean into his hand exposing your neck willingly.

There’s a warm feeling in his chest, and he finally goes to feed from you. Just before biting you though, he glances at all the scaring on your shoulder… had he really been that awful to you…? Then he looks up at the side of your face. You still look scared and resigned to your fate, but there’s a certain comfort in him allowing you to decide to expose your neck to him. He hums, and then bites down.

[cremeful]

okai as promised pt2 to this ! pls enjoy !! also i was listening to break up with your girlfriend by ms ariana grande !! ilyy im finally out of writers block yeppie :D ~ this is a bit long so ... be prepared

disclaimer there is implied stalking so if u dnt like that pls keep scrolling.

smoke didn't say anything back which pissed you off more than you would like to admit so you decided to turn your attention to her, sierra. "hi, i'm ♡! nice to meet you!" you reached your arm out to offer her a handshake but she just stared at you like you were the evil to all evil; you are especially when it comes to smoke.

smokes eyes are still heavy on you, you put your arm down before muttering "tough crowd, i see." before turning around making your way to the other couch opposite from the two and sitting down. you knew smoke wasn't pleased on you going on contact but he had no right to be mad, he did it to himself.

"so ♡, what have you been up too? i heard you were seeing someone !" marys voice breaks the tension, you look over at her before letting out a little a laugh and responding. "I've been good, just been busy with college and yea i guess you can say that, just trying to be with boys my age, you know?" you said the last line a little louder than needed to make sure smoke knew what you were trying to do and he did, he caught it the moment you said it.

you turned to smoke, you finally got a good look at him. He was wearing a black fitted tee with dark wash jeans and white air forces, you cant lie he looks really good. "so elijah, your not gonna introduce me to your little girlfriend?" you said it sweetly with annoyance hidden behind your voice. He knew what you were trying to do and it was working because serria spoke up, "excuse me? one, im a grown ass woman so u will address me as such"

you knew the girl wasn't used to how you played your little games and every little thing you did was getting under her skin and you're enjoying it. you laughed at her outburst, mary said your name to get you to stop messing with the pair but she knew how you were. "i'm sorry, i just thought it was rude that he didn't properly introduce you to me since i am family," your voice is now on edge, "isn't that right, elijah?" this time your eyes soften looking at him, he can tell your hurt.

smoke finally speaks, "no doubt about it. you always have a place here." its the first in a month since you heard his voice, it was still rough as ever but this time it was more silent than usual; gentle. you decided that sitting in this room with them was painful enough so you got up off the couch and announced your going outside.

once you get up, mary says she will join you and you both walk to the backdoor and what you failed to notice is how smokes eyes follow you and how his girlfriend felt her place in his life falter.

once people started showing up and the gathering became more lively, you started drinking heavier, trying to get your mind off of smoke and his girlfriend. every once in a while you would glance over at them. They sat at one of the tables, smoke in the chair, her in his lap, it made you feel an emotion that you don't wish for anyone to have.

"you need to slow down girl!" the very annoying voice called from behind you. you knew exactly who it was and you closed your eyes and prayed to god to give you the strength before turning around. it was jarome, the boy whom you called yourself moving on from smoke with, biggest mistake of your life. He was nothing but a whiny insufferable boy that had serious issues.

"why are you here? and how are you here?" you said visibly annoyed. He had a track record of popping up at various places that you were at, which started to freak you out. You knew jarome didn't know anyone here, so what was his excuse now?

"come on don't be like that" he says it like your the one in the wrong, like you are being disobedient. after you two parted ways, you started to realize that his good "boyfriend" act started slipping and he was far from it. He was the reason why you stopped coming around, you knew if you told your friend group that it would end bad.

"you need to leave." you said it firmly but he could tell you were scared, you started to walk inside but he followed you, you went to go into the bathroom and shut the door but he tried to push his way inside until you heard sammies voice, "yo! the fuck you doin?" his voice is loud, jarome stops trying to push the door and makes up an excuse "oh my girl just drunk, she just playing around" he laughs it out but sammie wasn't buying it. He walks toward the bathroom and sees through the crack of the door, it's you and your crying.

that was enough for him to go back outside and grab both smoke and stack. "yo, can yall come inside real quick?" the twins exchange looks before smoke asks why and sammie doesn't want everyone at the table to know whats going on, "it's just something that needs to be handled." he says more urgently. this time stack speaks, "boy, just spit it out! why you being cryptic and shit" he laughs, sammie grows irritated "its, ♡. she needs both of you."

this time smokes face is serious, voice hard "what happened?", sammie just says "i dont fucking know man, i went in to get more liquor and i seen this boy trying to get in the bathroom with her, he claims she's his girlfriend but she was crying and looked terrified, so can we please" he gestures to the house. Smoke taps serria's hips for her to get up, she does with a scoff "you not her man, why can't stack go handle it? he probably fuckin her anyways" before stack can say anything smoke speaks. "get the fuck out. dont come back either." and with that he went into the house.

he makes his way to the bathroom and sees the unknown boy to him trying to make his way into the bathroom. he doesn't say anything, he walks up to the boy and yanks him back, his grip is so tight that the boy cries out in pain. "what the fuck you thinkin you doin?" smokes voice grits out, the boy is on the floor looking up at smoke towering over him. "nothin! shes my girlfriend! chill out"

smoke thinks back to earlier when mary said something about you dating someone, but what you failed to tell them is that you two broke up because of his dangerous actions. "dont fuckin lie to me boy. that girl in there isn't your girlfriend. i will break your fucking jaw if i ever see you near her or here again, do i make myself clear?" the boy beneath smoke just franticly nodded his head before smoke pulled him up and tossing him to stack. after dealing with him, smoke gently knocks on the door "honey, can you open the door?" he hears you sniffle before weakly calling out "is he gone? did you make him leave?" it broke his heart knowing that this boy has terrorized you like this. He clears his throat, "yea baby, hes gone. he wont ever come near you again, i promise"

smoke hears you shuffle around before the lock clicks, he turns the knob and steps inside. He sees you, your makeup is ruined and your hands are shaking, he takes them into his hands and pulls you into his chest, his hand comes to the back of your head stroking it in gently.

your between your broken sobs you muffled out "i was so scared, i didn't know what to do" he shushes you, telling you to not worry about him anymore. you pull away looking up at smoke, "i'm sorry for ruining your night" you say it apologetic because you are sorry. smoke looks at you, your eyes are glossy and big, almost deer like. "the night was ruined when i brought her here." when he mentions her, your nose turns up. he just laughs before saying "i'm sorry for what i did to you. you didnt deserve that, you never did. you were up front with me from the beginning and i kept chasing something that i thought i wanted when it was really you that grounded me." your eyes soften at his words, you stand on your tippy toes and offer him a sweet and slow kiss before pulling away

"its okay, you have plenty of time to make it up to me."

[liriostigre]

Edward the Confessor by Eileen Myles

I have a confession to make I wish there were some role in society I could fulfill I could be a confessor I have a confession to make I have this way when I step into the bakery on 2nd Ave. of wanting to be the only really nice person in the store so the harried sales woman with several toned hair will like me. I do this in all kinds of stores, coffee shops xerox shops, everywhere I go. And invariably I leave my keys, xeroxing, my coffee from the last place I am being so nice. I try so hard to make a great impression on these neutral strangers right down to the perfect warm smile I get entirely lost and stagger back out onto the street, bereft of something major. It’s really leaning too hard on the everyday.

My mother was the kind of woman who dragging us into stores always seemed to charm the pants off the cashier. She was such a great person, so human though at home she was such a bitch, I mean really distant. I imitate her and I don’t do it well. She didn’t leave her wallet or us in a store. I’m just a pale imitation it is simply not my style to open the hearts of strangers to my true personhood. I hope you accept this tiny confession of what I am currently going through. And if you are experiencing something of a similar nature tell someone, not me, but tell someone. It’s the new human program to be in. It would be nice for at least these final moments if we could sigh with the relief of being in the same program with all the other humans whispering in school. I can’t quite locate the terror, but I am trying to be my mother or Edward the Confessor smiling down on you with up-praying hands. I am looking down at the tips of my boots as I step across the balcony of the church excited to be allowed to say these things. Outside my church is a relationship. On 11th street this guy and this woman are selling the woman so they can get more dope. All their things are there, rags and loaves of bread and make-up. And there was— this was incredible. Two men lying by the door of the church giving each other blow-jobs. They were sort of street guys, one black one white. I said hey you can’t do that here. They jumped up, one spit come out of his mouth. If you don’t get out of here I’ll call the cops. Don’t call the cops we’ll go, we’ll leave. That was a shock. That was more than I expected to see in a day. Something about seeing the guy spit come out of his mouth. He didn’t have to do that. I guess I scared him. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was scared too.

[dollyrins]

　　　⁰¹ ─── ENCHANTED

　𓍼　　au — prince ! karasu x fem ! reader

　𓍼　　fic type — angst (fluff soon?)

　𓍼　　warning — kissing, ooc karasu probably nothing else I think...

　𓍼　　word count — 1300

　𓍼　　rav's notes — I forgot to upload this yikes... um I butchered karasu's canon personality forgive me please, I am just a wee child. I hated writing his accent so like.

You lean your head back against the dark wood of the door, waiting for something with only the company of the night sky. Reflected ray enters through the window, some of it blocked up the leaves from a tree which makes it leave a print of shadows on you and the floor. 

It’s silent for only a moment longer before a knock sounds at the door. 

He’s here.

You knock back twice and move forward just the slightest bit so he can open a crack in the door. Enough for a finger to slip through, but not the whole hand. The right amount that allows you to be heard but not seen. 

“Yer back,” he says, voice thick with his accent instead of the regal tone he uses when he does his princely duties. 

You hum in response. “I’m leaving soon though.” 

“How long?”

“Forever.”

Another beat of silence passes before Karasu speaks again. “Ya gonna let me see your face today?”

“Nope,” you answer. “That’ll make it harder for me to leave.”

“And if I ordered ya to?” He clears his voice. “Maiden, I demand you show your face to your future King.” 

A giggle leaves your mouth at the order before you can stop it. “My prince do forgive this maiden for showing her face is the last thing she wants to do.”

“And why’s that?” 

“Because we agreed only to if the other was dying,” you remind him. 

It was a stupid promise—made in the heat of the moment after you learnt of his identity—formed years ago. The two of you remember the night clearly like it was yesterday, your version a bit more terrified, and his more heartbroken. 

When he had uttered his full name a sharp gasp had cut through the air as stutter after stutter left you, apologizes and promises and formalities wrapped into your words that felt like the sharpest of blades to him.

Just as you were about to leave he said a quiet “please” that stunned you in your spot. And you did, stayed frozen, listened, quietly added a few words, more aware of what left your mouth than ever before and left when he was done.

He had waited patiently for weeks, knocked on the door, prayed you would knock back then left when nothing was returned. Unaware you were there after only 5 days but too scared to talk with him again. 

Now you sit, still in the same position as your child one except no words are exchanged for a different reason. “My parents found a suitable match for me,” you admit, fingers picking at your hangnails. 

Karasu’s heart sinks to the bottom of his stomach. “That why ya were gone?”

“Yes. He’s nice enough I suppose,” you say, “But… he’s not…”

“Not what?”

You swallow back the “not you” that lodged itself in the back of your throat. “Nothing.”

“Yer really leaving huh.” The sentence feels like it’s something he’s trying to come to terms with. 

“I am my friend.” The last word is hard to say out loud because that’s not what he is. 

It’s even harder for him to hear. Karasu would give his kingdom over in the blink of an eye if it meant you would see him as someone other than that. 

“I love you.”

Neither of you is sure who says it first or why you said it. But it left from your thoughts and formed on your tongue before fleeing from your mouth faster than it could be processed. The weight of the three words presses down on the both of you hard. 

Love between a Prince and a low ranking worker in the palace is something that could never be done, a tale only meant for story books and not the real world that you two resided in. “How can you love someone who you do not even know the face or name of?” You ask. 

A beat passes before his answer comes. “Yer face does not matter. I know from the way ya speak that yer a strong, smart woman. What I love is not yer beauty but yer soul. It enchanted me since the first word left ya when we spoke.” 

You let the words soak in, let them absorb into your skin and through your layers of flesh and blood before they become one with the very thing he feel for—your soul. 

“Close your eyes.” The instruction leaves you as you stand up. 

“What?”

Your hand is on the door handle now. “I said close your eyes,” you repeat, “Don’t open them until I tell you to.” 

Karasu hums, listening to you and shuts his eyes waiting for your next move. You hesitate, hand still holding the piece of metal as your heart hammers against your chest harder than ever. With a deep breath you pull it open. 

There he sits—the crown prince of your kingdom—on the floor with not a peek of his eyes. A few centimeters and you’re in front of him, the sight is like one from your dreams. 

His ridiculous hair, mole under his left eye, but the only thing missing is his smirk. 

“Tabito,” you whisper, and his eyes nearly fly open at how close you sound. “Can I kiss you?”

A breath leaves his parted lips. “Yes.” His reply is so soft that you almost mistake it as the air. Yet the way he opens his legs to make room for you tells you that you weren’t being delusional. 

Slowly you sink to your knees, and crawl to sit almost in his lap. Up close he’s even more handsome than you could have imagined. Karasu’s breath mingles with yours when you lean closer. 

Then half a second later your lips touch. 

It’s awkward, as the two of you try to find a rhythm that feels right, it takes a few more out of place ones before his lips push and yours pull in a way that’s just right. His hands find purchase on your waist and you grab his collar, trying to get impossibly closer to him. 

This is wrong in so many ways that you can’t even describe it. 

You’re about to be engaged to a man you don’t know, kissing someone you love but can’t have, he knows everything about you except for the way your face dips and swells into features, and you know more of him than you should. 

Yet it feels right, like this moment was the last of happiness you would find for years to come. When you leave the kiss for a gulp of oxygen he buries his face in your neck. “Do ya have to go?”

“Yes,” you murmur, hands brushing through his hair now. 

Karasu’s grip on you tightens, not hurting physically but emotionally. He holds you like you’re made of glass, like the secret that he wants to reveal to the whole world but can’t. Because you are, you’re his but not. 

Your hand is about to be handed to someone else and he can’t even do anything about it. “Tell me yer name,” he pleads. “I don’t care what ya look like, but give me something that tells me yer real.” 

Instead of giving him an answer you hold his face and kiss him again. It’s rushed now, the little time you two have is running out and it leaves a dull ache in both of you. With one final peck you part from him. 

Not a single letter escapes you as you get up and flee to your side of the door. Tabito sits there, eyes still not open, lips red from yours as tears start to gather. He waits for you to give him a response, knocks twice yet nothing comes. 

You’ve left him. 

This time it’s forever. 

© dollyrins do not plagiarize, translate, copy, repost my writing anywhere

[dsireland86]

I got a quick thought

Imagine having sex with someone (they’re in relationship) from Bad Omens (including Matt) while on your period and at the heat of the moment they don’t realize you can get pregnant on your period, there’s just smaller chance. And as they don’t realize you can get pregnant they don’t use protection and bum three months after you find out you’re pregnant.

You can make a quick one shot from this if you want.

Anygay I hope you’re doing better now, I read what you’ve been through (what YOU wrote) and I’ll say it easily

People are jerks

Byeee❤️

Heat of the Moment

Tag list:

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I wake up feeling absolutely miserable. The lady of the month decided to make her grand appearance in the middle of the night when I got up to use the bathroom. I knew there'd be hell to pay by morning, and I was right. I hate being right. Groaning, I roll over, clenching my stomach in agony, praying silently for a break in the pain, but unless I get my butt out of bed and some pain meds in me, there's no such luck. Practically crawling out of the comfort of my blankets, I make my way to the bathroom for the saving grace of medication that will hopefully restore a bit of normality in me. I take it just as my phone rings. 

"You left again, before I got up. Why didn't you wake me up?" "Well, good morning to you, too," Matt chuckles from the other end of the speaker. "Good morning, my love. Seriously, why didn't you wake me?"

There's a lot of background noise and I can hear the irritation in Matt's voice as he's barking at people to quiet down. It's way too early in the day for them to be pissing him off already.

"You need to come back home where I can snuggle you, Matty," I tell him, knowing how much he loves it when I call him that. He used to hate it, loath it actually, until the first time we had sex and he said it turned him on so much that he never wanted me to stop calling him Matty.

"You have no idea how much I fucking want to, babe. But guys from the management team are here. That's why I had to leave early. They're here for a rundown of everything and for right now, we have to kinda play it by the books and act like grown ups."

I chuckle at Matt's use of terminology, knowing how much meetings and inspections like this stress him out. He's tensed already, the strain evident in his tone.

"Besides, you looked absolutely beautiful, sound asleep, that I felt like waking you would be a crime."

I hear a door slam in the background and the loud noise of voices return.

"Oh good grief, whatever," laughing at Matt's attempt at romance. The sound of his own laughing brings another smile to my face. "No, seriously, I heard you up in the middle of the night. You okay?" "Ugh, yes and no. The witch of the month showed up, and I'm in absolute agony," I groan, knowing he doesn't mind my complaining about this sort of thing. "Awe, babe, I'm sorry. Anything I can do?"

It's quiet in the background again and I'm hoping Matt's finally alone for a moment.

"When you come home you can massage me. That would feel nice."

There's a moment of silence before he speaks.

"I, uh... shit," he curses, huffing a laugh. "I swear, the longer we're together, the hornier I get when you're on your period. God, it's annoying." "Well, I'm not opposed to it. Just saying." "You're not? You're not grossed out by the idea?"

Matt's surprise is genuine and I smile, thinking of how improper yet innocent his thoughts must be.

"I mean I am a little, but if you're not, then I guess I shouldn't be. Also, I've read that, depending on the female, it can make the uterus relax and ease some of the pain." "So what you're saying is that orgasms could potentially make you feel better?" "Good grief, Matt, when you put it like that," I laugh, slightly embarrassed. "But, yeah, I guess that's what I am saying." "Well, I already knew that," Matt teases, and I feel the effect of his words between my legs. Even though I'm in pain, the idea of him inside me, loving me the way he always does, has me wanting him.

"Take a hot bath, try to relax, and I'll be home in a bit. I'm holding you to the orgasm comment." My insides flutter, heart slightly skipping a beat over his promise. "Okay. I'll see you later." "Hey," Matt says before hanging up. "What?" "I love you. I love you a lot." "I love you, too, Matty."

I climb out of the tub, wrapping the towel around my wet, cold body, before sitting back down on the edge. A cramp hits me harder than I'd like it to, causing me to grimace in pain.

"Ugh, I hate being a girl," I groan in frustration, standing up and leaving the bathroom to find some clothes.

Coming out of the closet, I hear the front door open, then close, letting me know Matt's home. He climbs the stairs and enters our bedroom, instantly stopping the moment he sees me in just my towel. My heart skips a few beats from the way he slowly crosses the room to his side of the bed, looking at me as he lays his keys and wallet down on the table. I grip the towel tighter so it doesn't fall and easy my way over to the edge of the bed, sitting down.

"How's it feeling?" he asks. "Like my insides are about to fall out."

Without a word, Matt comes over and kneels at the edge of the bed, palms coasting over my thighs. He wants to touch me, I can tell, but he doesn't and the restraint he's showing is impressive. My eyes drift over him. His face is partially covered by the hat he's wearing and he still has his drum key and key card to the locked equipment cases at the warehouse hanging from his neck. Slowly, I reach over and take the chain, lifting it up and over his head before setting it down on the bed next to me. Then Matt finally looks at me.

"What's wrong, Matty?" I whisper, reaching over and touching his face. He leans into my touch, closing his eyes. "Can I be honest with you," he asks, his soft brown eyes darting over mine. "Of course you can. Always," I smile. His hands move further up my thighs, making my toes curl and the muscles between my core tighten.

"Ever since you told me earlier how orgasms might make you feel better, it's all I've been able to think about. I can't stop, I mean I," but he can't finish his sentence. Instead, he hangs his head, laying it partially in my lap. His hot breath beats down on my exposed skin, forcing me to breathe in deeply to control the urge pulsing through me.

"Does that mean you want to?" "Want to?" Matt lifts his head, looking up at me. I take off his hat and run my fingers over his scalp, loosening the hair that's been covered beneath the ball cap for most of the day. "Touch me."

Matt's brows lift in surprise. Rising up on his knees he comes closer to me, bringing his face closer to mine. "Do you want me to touch you?" His lips ghost mine. I lean in, hoping to capture them only to feel him pull back. I don't mean to whimper, but it comes out anyway. An impressive little smirk tugs on his lips. "I asked you first." "Y/N, I'm on my knees. What do you think?" "I think you might be in more pain than I am at the moment," I answer softly. Matt huffs a laugh, swallowing hard.

"If you're referring to my knees, then I'm fine, but if you're talking about my dick, it's painfully hard. It needs some kind of release," he whispers, licking his lips before glancing down at mine. Moving closer to the edge of the bed, I open my legs just a little, noticing the way Matt looks down. A single hand takes my face and he tilts my chin up and kisses me, slightly moaning as he does.

"I fucking love kissing you," he manages to say quickly. I sweep my tongue into his mouth, swallowing his noises as our tongues meet and dance briefly. Inhaling sharply, Matt pulls his lips away, resting his forehead on mine. "Tell me what you want, baby." "I want you inside me," I whisper, mouth watering at just the idea of what's about to happen.

Matt pulls back again and stands up, quickly undressing. As I watch him strip, I can feel the cramping coming on again and my jaw tenses as the pain shoots through my abdomen. I clench the sheets between my fists, grimacing from the pain.

"Are you alright?" Matt stands in front of me, his dick fully erect, and looks down at me lovingly. I'm not alright, but there is no way I'm denying him what he wants. Not now. So, I nod, answering his question silently. "Are you sure? We don't have to do this if you're in too much pain or discomfort," he offers, climbing over me until I begin to lay back against the bed. I shake my head, refusing to look away from his sweet face and the loving way he's looking out for me. "I want to find out if having an orgasm really works. So, no pressure, but you better make me have one."

Matt smiles. Resting on one arm, he leans down and kisses me sweetly, finally undoing to my towel and pulling it apart, revealing my naked body. His lips are soon exploring my neck, my breasts, and my belly before moving back up and meeting my lips. He makes a low, husky sound, gliding one hand up my body to cup my breast. I moan in his mouth when his thumb brushes over my nipple, forcing me to wrap my arms around his neck. It sends a bolt of heat rushing through my body, tuning me on even more.

Matt's tongue continues to explore my mouth as my body begins responding to his every touch. My back slightly arches and the grip my arms have around his neck tightens. His erection, now pressed against my burning sex, throbs and twitches, telling me how much it's aching to be inside me. He thrusts against me, lightly, pulling me tighter against him.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks, pushing back strands of loose hair from off my face. "Uh-huh, I'm sure," I answer, leaning up to kiss him again. I run my hands up his back, tracing his spin with my finger, as Matt rubs the tip of his cock against my entrance, making me moan. "Fuck, baby. Make that noise again and I don't think I'll be able to stop." I gasp when Matt pushes his tip in between my folds, causing me to push against him. "Good, I don't want you to stop, Matty."

Hesitating, Matt's eyes bounce between mine until his lips are back on mine, tasting me and he's pinning me to the mattress with his hips. "Wait. Do you have anything in?" I shake my head, knowing what he's referring to. "What about protection? Should I put a condom on?" "Just pull out. It'll be fine," I whine, pulling him back down for another kiss. "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure, Matty, just please," I whine, unable to handle his procrastination any longer. "Please, what, baby?" "Oh, god Matt. Please, make love to me."

The words slip out quietly and before I can catch a breath, Matt slides in between my folds pushing his thick, hard shaft deep into me, penetrating my inner walls to claim what’s his. I can feel my arousal mixed with menstruation begin to seep out, creating the perfect lubrication that makes this whole process feel incredible. I moan, the harder Matt thrusts, feeling the vibration of his own pleasure as he does, against my chest.

"You cunt is so fucking tight, baby. This might not last long," he murmurs in my ear, pulling a sharp cry out of me. "Oh god, especially if you keep doing that."

My pussy clenches, squeezing Matt's cock and making him groan out a curse. His words have the power to make me cum already. I'm sure of it. Pulling out a little, he sits back, and I look down where the two of us are connected, seeing my juices coating his cock. It's all very visible. I know I should be grossed out, but for some reason I'm not. I raise my eyes, meeting Matt's, instantly feeling the rush of the ache from between my thighs consume me like a fire.

"You're really wet, baby," rubbing the tip of his head against my entrance. "That's not my fault." He peers up at me and grins. "Well, it partially is. It takes two to make this go right," sliding between my legs again.

I wipe away the little bit of sweat beaded on his forehead, pulling him down into a kiss. I lick his bottom lip, pulling it between my teeth, tugging gently, and we both let out a moan when he opens his mouth and lets me taste him. Our tongues start to play in a slow, lazy way, tasting each other and turning each other on. Dragging his nails down my side and over my bottom, Matt reaches the back of my knee and hikes my thigh up, higher around his waist before thrusting back inside me slowly. He grunts and the sound causes another spark of please to rip through me.

"You're making a mess all over me," he murmurs in my ear. I whimper through a thrust, digging my nails deeper into his shoulder and neck, pulling him further down into me. "I love making you so fucking wet. Especially when you're like this. You get hornier when it's your time of the month." I let out a choked laugh. "No, I don't!" Matt hummed as he pushed up on his hands, hovering over top of me. "Oh, yeah you do. You just always want to ignore it. But you forget that I pay attention to everything about you, baby. Even when you don't think I do."

He keeps kissing my mouth, my jaw, my neck, coming back to my lips for more, while pushing harder into me. "Oh god, Matty," I whine as he lays back into me and I wrap my arms around him. "There's just something about that way our bodies look when our juices mix together, that turns me on, making me so fucking hard for you. I wanna take you harder. Can I take you a little harder?" "Yeah." "You'll be okay? I want you to be okay. I don't want to make the pain worse for you." "There is no pain right now. I'm good, baby. I promise. You can go harder. Please, Matty, go harder," I beg, raking my nails gently down his back.

For some time, there seems to be no end to Matt's unrelenting, desperate hunger that has my breath hitching and the heat that's spreading under my skin, pooling in my lower back. I cling to his shoulders, digging my nails deep into his skin, as he begins to hit the right spot inside, thrusting in and out, over and over, his skin slapping against mine.

"Matt, oh god baby, right there. Don't stop," I sigh. "Right there? Is that it?" "Uh-huh, please don't stop. It feels so good."

He begins circling my clit with his finger, making my thighs stiffen and my pussy clench around his dick. "Ah, fuck yeah," he groans, following it with a soft grunt. "Do that again. Squeeze me tight, baby girl," he growls and I know he's close. "Don't stop, Matty," I whine, almost there. "I'm not stopping until you cum all over my cock! But I'm about to fucking explode inside you if you don't, so you better cum or I'm filling you!"

A few more hard thrusts and I'm crying out his name, arching my back and clenching the sheets beside me. Matt groans, mumbling incoherent words at first and the curses. "Oh, shit. Fuck!" My eyes widen, already knowing what just happened. Matt pulls out of me quickly, spilling the remainder of his warm cum on my stomach. He's completely out of breath as am I.

"Fuck," hanging his head. "Matt," I whine softly. "I'm sorry. I tried, baby. I fucking tried. I just couldn't... I wasn't fast enough. I lay back into the sheets, running my hands down my face, as my mind begins to race with a million thoughts. "It's fine. It's fine," I tell myself out loud." "I'm good. I'm on my period. The chances of getting pregnant are almost zero."

I sit up and look down at the mess that Matt and I have created. It's not romantic by any means, but it's hot as hell, that's for sure. Matt runs his hand over my back, caressing it gently as he sits up beside me, kissing my shoulder. "I'm sorry, baby." I turn to look at him and smile, pecking his lips. "It's okay. I know you tried. Everything should be fine, though. The chances are really slim. Don't worry about it. Come on, let's shower," reaching for his hand.

I'm standing at the bathroom counter, shocked, terrified, scared, worried, and so much more. I've taken five tests since yesterday and they all say the same thing. I'm pregnant. What's Matt going to say? We haven't talked about kids in forever. I don't even know if he wants kids at this point in his life. Is this going to be the end of us? Am I going to become a single working mom and raise a baby entirely on my own? The door to the women's bathroom bursts open and in walks Matt. I don't even try to hide the evidence at this point.

"Hey, there you are! I've been looking for you everywhere. Noah said he saw you walk in here…”

Matt's voice fades and I know he's looking at the same thing I am. I glance over only to find him staring down hard at the five positive pregnancy tests. His expression is deadpanned and I think I'm going to be sick.

"Are those real?" he asks softly. "Yup." "Are they accurate?" "Um, I don't think it's possible that five tests in a matter of two days could be wrong, Matt," I answer in a weak voice, swallowing hard.

He waits for a minute to respond, but I already know what he's going to say. Tears fill my eyes, but I fight to keep them back. "You're really pregnant?" "Yeah, it kinda looks that way. Look, Matt," I say, turning to face him without holding eye contact. "I know we haven't talked about kids in a really long time. I get if you aren't ready for this; to be a dad and having a family and all. It's a lot. If this means we need to take a break from being a couple, or break-up, or,"

My words are cut off with the pressure of Matt's lips on mine. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me in as close as possible. My heart is pounding and I can't wrap my head around what's happening at the moment. When Matt finally pulls away, his brown eyes hold a mixture of tears and surprise.

"Just shut-up and kiss me again," he smiles. I throw my arms around his neck, squealing softly as he picks me up and spins me slowly. "You're fucking crazy if you think I'm not ready for this, baby girl. I'm more than ready for this, for a life with you our baby," placing his hands on my belly. "I'm not going anywhere, do you hear me," he says, breathing in deeply as he cups my face and kisses me again.. "We're in this together, for life, baby girl."

I can't breathe. Between the feeling of excitement and the way Matt's holding me, I'm just about gasping when he lets me go. Tears slide down my cheeks. Matt brushes them away with his thumbs, kissing my forehead. I grab his wrists, staring into his eyes, and seeing that he's really telling me the truth. Matt really wants to have a family with me. "Marry me, Y/N," he says with the most absolute tone I've ever heard from him. "What? Are you sure, I'm," huffing a laugh. "I've never been more sure about anything else in my life. Let's get married and have this little one and be a real family. Not a broken one." I melt into Matt's arms and hold on to him for dear life, never loving him more than I do right now. "Okay, Matty, let's get married," I whisper against his face, kissing his cheek. He squeezes me tight. "I love you." "I love you too. Both of you," he answers, placing his hands on my belly again.

[eviemonroeer]

The Monroe Effect: Chapter 29

Set after Season 6, Episode 11, and before and during Season 6, Episode 12 of ER. We're having a baby folks!

Warnings: Childbirth. Disclaimer: I haven't personally had a baby, so this is based off of research and accounts from friends and family

WC: 4.2 k

ER story belongs to original creators, just adding on my own original charter.

Taglist: @pleasecallmeunhinged, @rainmg, @arigoldsblog, @queenslandlover-93, @hagarsays, @antisocialfiore, @snowflames-world, @guiltypleassure243, and @omgbrianab

Main Story: prev | next

Snapshots: prev | next

The next two weeks were spent getting those final touches done in preparation for the baby’s arrival. Every piece of clothing had been washed and either tucked away in a dresser drawer or hung in her closet. The crib was built, and the changing table stocked. The bottles were sanitized and ready to go, pumping gear all clean to. The bags were packed and in Carter’s Jeep, waiting to be used. The house was practically sparkling, much to Carter’s dismay. He asked me to take it easy, but what else was I supposed to do? 

Aside from the occasional Braxton Hicks contraction, my body was showing no sign of evicting this kid any time soon. I was barely a centimeter at my last appointment. This kid was comfy where she was, and I was trying everything to get her out. Spicy food, tea, walking. None of it worked. I even begged Carter to have sex with me, and while a couple orgasms when I didn’t feel that sexy were kind of nice, it didn’t help a thing. Dr. Coburn assured me that everything looked great, and the baby would come when she wanted. I had even apparently been having early labor contractions, but they weren’t doing much. At least that’s what I thought. 

All that changed the last day of January. When I woke up, Carter was already at work. He had an early shift and had slept on the couch because I was having a harder time recently getting and staying asleep, tossing and turning seemingly every five minutes. When I got out of bed, the first thing I noticed was that I could fully breathe again. It was a huge relief until I stood, and my back was already hurting more than usual. The baby had definetly dropped into my pelvis in the night. My stomach even showed it too.

Concerned that this was a sign of early labor, I began timing every single little twinge or cramp I felt. Around ten, my suspicions were validated as they started regulating, coming every fifteen minutes. I decided to wait to call Carter. With this being my first baby, I knew more than likely my labor would be long. So, I decided to take it easy. All the chores were done, so I rested, stayed hydrated, and kept timing. 

I got Chinese food delivered and ate lunch before picking up the apartment, knowing once I got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me eat until I had the baby. By two, I lost my mucus plug and my contractions were now ten minutes apart and lasting 30 seconds each. This was now total confirmation that I was in labor. I was going to need to either call Carter soon, or head to the hospital if this was how things were going to progress. 

After I got in the shower, I dressed in comfy clothes before drying my hair and packing up my purse. I called a cab and was out the door by four. I had the driver pull up by the ambulance bay doors, reassuring him it was okay especially since an ambulance wasn’t here. I paid him and got out, but as he pulled away, another contraction stopped me dead in my tracks. This one was closer together and a lot stronger than all the others. 

“It’s okay.” I said through clenched teeth, holding my belly. “You’re going to be out really soon. Just please let me get inside.” 

Standing up straight, I waddled my way towards the ambulance bay doors, praying that I could make it inside before another contraction started. Thankfully I made it in and up to the admit desk window before I doubled over. “Woah, Evie, are you okay?” Randi asked.  

“Where’s Carter?” I asked through gritted teeth, trying to take even, deep breaths. 

“He’s in the lounge. I think he actually went to call you.” She looked out the admit window. “Do I need to grab a wheelchair?” 

“Might want to have one on standby.” I said, waving her off before I shuffled my way into the lounge. Carter had the phone pressed to his ear as he sat at the table, his fingers drumming a random pattern. “Sorry I can’t pick up the phone right now.” I said, causing him to jump and turn. 

“There you are! I was worried.” 

“Didn’t feel like waiting any longer.” I said as I slowly lowered myself onto the couch. “The contractions were getting too close together. 

Carter eyes went wide, and he walked over to me, putting his hand on my belly. “You’re in labor? Since when?” 

“Uh, since this morning. They’ve been getting consistently closer together all day.” 

“Has your water broken?"

“Not yet.” 

“Okay. Well, I’ll go get the bags from the car and then we’ll go up to OB.”  

I nodded my head and grabbed his collar, pulling him close for a kiss. “I love you.” 

“I love you too. Now stay right here. Don’t move and I’ll be right back."

“I'm not going anywhere, trust me.”

He kissed me again, a big smile on his face, before quickly leaving the lounge. A couple minutes later another contraction started, and I let out a groan. I grabbed the arm of the couch and tried to focus on breathing as the pain got worse. I let out a grunt as the door to the lounge opened. 

“Woah, are you okay?” Mark asked as he kneeled in front of me. I nodded but kept breathing deep. He grabbed my hand and let me squeeze it until the contraction subsided. “Are you in labor?” 

“Yep.” I replied, rubbing my bump. “Carter went to go get our stuff from the car so we can head upstairs. Sorry to take away one of your residents before shift change.”

“That’s okay. You need him more than we do.” He said, giving me a smile. “You ready?” 

“I guess as ready as I’ll ever be. Though I am a little nervous Carter is going to try and take over the room. He’s really excited.” 

“Do you want me to talk to him?”

“I might need you to.” I laughed and Mark squeezed my knee.

“You got it.” 

The door to the lounge opened again and Carter had the bags and the car seat. “I got everything. Are you ready?” 

“Just a second.” Mark started and stood. “Hey Carter, can I talk to you a minute?” 

“We really need to—” 

 “It will only take a second.” Mark looked back at me as he took Carter into the hall. I took another deep breath, before another contraction started to build up. This was the quickest another had come on since I started laboring. It also ramped up harder. I let out a pained moan as Carter walked back into the lounge. 

“Hey, it’s okay.” He kneeled down in front of me and grabbed my hand, letting me squeeze until the contraction finally waivered. “You okay?” He asked, stroking my cheek. 

“Yeah. That one was just a little more painful than the last one.” 

“I’ve got you. I promise.” He looked really determined, like whatever Mark had just told him was sinking in. I stroked his cheek and smiled. 

“Yeah, you do.” I brushed a piece of hair from his face. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He leaned in this time and was the one to kiss me. “Are you ready to go up?” 

“Yeah.” Carter stood and held out his hands, to help me up. I grabbed them and used him as leverage. Once I was stood though, I paused and looked down, feeling a small stream of water start to run down my leg. “I think my water just broke.” I looked down again and up at him before I started laughing. “We’re having a baby.” 

Carter smiled back and nodded his head. “We’re having a baby. Let’s go.” 

“Almost there. Just a few more seconds......and done.” I let out a breath and the pressure Carter put onto my back disappeared. “Is that helping?” I nodded and stood up straight, trying to find some relief. Carter stood behind me and I dropped my head back onto his shoulder. He put his hands on my hips and pressed down as I started to sway. “This is a pretty weird way to ask me to dance.” He mumbled in my ear. 

“Shut up.” I moaned, my eyes closing as I tried to concentrate. 

“Are you sure you don’t want the epidural right now? I can get someone in here.” 

“I don’t want preferential treatment Carter. There’s a line, so sadly I have to wait in it.” 

“I just don’t like seeing you in all this pain.” 

“Then I guess you should have pulled out nine months ago.” I scoffed. “Sorry. That was kind of mean.” 

“I think you have the right to be a little mean right now.” 

The door to my room opened and my nurse walked in. “How are we doing?” Abby asked as she walked in. 

“I’d be a whole lot better with an epidural.” 

“You should be next. Do you mind getting on the bed so I can check you?” 

“Sure.” I groaned and pushed off Carter. He and Abby helped me back into bed and I lifted my legs up. Abby pulled on some gloves and then proceeded with her check. 

“You’re six, almost seven centimeters. Progressing great. How far apart are the contractions now?” 

“Three minutes and still 30 seconds long.” Carter informed her. 

She smiled and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I shrugged. “Thank you, Dr. Carter.” She said, pulling off her glove. "Do you need anything while I go check on the status of that epidural?” 

“Can I have some ice?” 

“Sure. Keep moving around some if that helps. We’ll limit that once the needle is in.”

“Thank you.” 

“No problem.” Abby pat my knee before getting up and leaving the room. 

“I could have gotten you some ice.” Carter offered. 

“No way. You are staying right here and dealing with the consequences of your actions.” I grabbed his hand again as another contraction started. 

Carter smiled, shaking his head before wiping the hair out of my face. “Yes ma’am.” 

“Okay Evie, let’s push again.” 

I laid back against the bed. Despite the loss of most of my pain thanks to the epidural, I was exhausted. I had been pushing for almost an hour. “I’m tired.” 

“I know.” Dr. Coburn said from her spot between my legs. “But this baby is so close. Give me another push and I promise this will all be over soon.”

“Focus all your energy on pushing towards your feet.” Abby suggested.  

“You’ve got this.” Carter whispered into my ear. “You can do this. Push.” 

 I bared down and pushed, focusing everything on getting this baby out. “That’s it Evie!” Dr. Coburn paused. “And the head is out. Stop pushing for a moment. It won’t be long now.” She turned to Carter. “Dr. Carter, would you like to assist?” 

Carter’s eyes went wide, and he looked at me. I knew he would stay up with me if I said no; he would respect my wishes. But I also knew he so badly wanted to be the one to deliver our daughter. And he had been pretty good the whole time. So, I nodded. “Go ahead. Just don’t drop her.” 

Carter smiled and kissed my forehead before he walked over by my feet. “Let’s get Dr. Carter a gown and some gloves.” The nurses helped dress him quickly and he walked over beside Coburn. “Remember how to do this?” She asked, looking up at him. 

“Of course.” Carter replied, ready to get going. She nodded and got up, letting him take her spot while she stood beside my left leg.  

 “Okay Evie. Give us one last nice, big push and we’ll let dad deliver.” 

Abby came over to help me sit up in Carter’s absence and I bared down again with everything I had left. “That’s it baby.” Carter said, looking up at me quickly with a smile. “You’re doing amazing. Keep going. Almost there. Almost there!” And then there was an instant pressure release and Carter started crying. “She’s here. She’s so beautiful.” He tearfully said and held up our daughter, laying her on my stomach.

“Time is 2:05 AM, February 1, 2000.” 

The minute I saw her, my heart grew ten times bigger. “Hi sweetheart.” I cooed and used the blanket Abby laid out to rub her. “I’m so happy to meet you.” I gathered her in my arms and brought her to my chest as best as I could, continuing to rub her until her cries finally filled the room. 

“There she is.” Abby cooed, moving around to the other side as Carter got rid of his gown and joined me. 

“I’m so proud of you.” He said and kissed me. “You did amazing.” 

“Thanks for catching her.” 

“Anytime.”

“Not so fast, Dr. Carter.” Coburn said. “Your jobs not over.” She held out the cord scissors. He took them and placed them in between two clamps, cutting the cord. It allowed me to gather the baby up more in my arms as she continued to be wiped down while Carter and I fawned over her. I barely even noticed when I delivered my placenta. All that mattered was her. 

Thankfully Abby was on watch dog mode and let me hold the baby while they performed some of their checks. We had even pulled down my hospital gown some, so we lay skin to skin together, her little breaths tickling my neck. Her eyes were so big and beautiful, brown and expressive just like her dad's. Chubby cheeks and adorable little lips. I was in absolute paradise. And Carter? God, that man was toast. He looked completely and utterly in love. This little girl was going to have him wrapped around her finger for life. She was about to get away with everything. 

“Congratulations Ms. Monroe, Dr. Carter. I’ll let Abby here get you set up. Do you have a name?”

“Meghan.” I said proudly. 

“Well happy birthday Meghan. I’ll come check on you guys later.” 

“Thank you, Dr. Coburn.” Carter said, standing up to shake her hand. 

“You’re welcome. Enjoy your new family.” 

“Did you hear that, Meghan?” Carter asked, looking down at our daughter and stroking her cheek. “We’re your family. I’m your daddy. And this badass of a woman is your mom.” 

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “You daddy is so silly, using that language.” 

“We started you on a low dose of Pitocin.” Abby said, not trying to ruin the moment. “So, you’re gonna keep feeling some contractions so we can prevent bleeding. Dr. Coburn said everything looks good, so we’re going to check Meghan out, measure her, weigh her, all that. Then you can have her back before I give you your first fundal massage.” 

“Oh yeah. I can’t wait for those.” I groaned. But I was still smiling.

Abby came over and carefully took the baby, bringing her over to a warmer for examination and measurements. Carter followed after her like a loyal guard dog and it was so sweet to watch him stroke her head while she wriggled around in the bed. She ended up being six pounds, eleven ounces and 19 inches long. No wonder I could feel her up in my ribs whenever she stretched out. Her Apgar was good, and she was given her shots, though she didn’t particularly like that part. 

“I’m sorry Meghan.” Abby cooed. “But it’s okay. Daddy can take you back to mommy now.” She handed Meghan over to Carter and he stood there for a moment, just lost in her before slowly walking her over to me. The bed was raised up by now and I opened my gown up so he could place her directly on my chest. 

“Can I try breastfeeding?” 

“Sure.” Abby smiled. “Make sure you’re comfortable. Let’s put a pillow under your arm. Then make sure her head, shoulders, and back are straight. Then take your breast and place your nipple over her mouth.” I did so and Meghan’s cries quieted some as she started to realize what was in front of her. Her head tipped back. “Okay now bring her to you.” I did and her mouth opened, taking it into her mouth. The feeling was shocking at first and my teeth clenched for a second, but after a few moments, I could only really feel her suckling. Abby smiled and checked her over. “Looks good. You’re a natural. She won’t feed long because her stomach is so tiny.” 

“How does it feel?” Carter asked, sitting down beside me as Abby and another nurse moved around the room, checking not only the baby, but my vitals. 

“Weird.” I scoffed. “But a good weird, if that makes sense. She’s so tiny.” I cooed, stroking her face. 

“And how are you feeling?” 

“Okay. A little groggy, like I’m coming off a night shift. Tired. But happy. Very, very happy. How are you?” 

“Happy. Very, very happy.” He smiled at me before kissing me. “Thank you for her.” 

“Right back at you.” 

“You know,” Carter started, gently stroking the baby’s face. “This is the second baby we’ve delivered together.”

I scoffed. “What are you talking about?” 

“Do you remember your first day? The car delivery in the parking lot. I mean you weren’t the one giving birth, but I think it still counts.” 

It took a moment, but my memory was eventually sparked. “Oh my gosh. How do you even remember that?” 

“That was an important day for me. I almost gave up being a doctor that day until that car pulled up. It was the first day I met you.” He paused, this time pushing my hair back behind my ear. “And most importantly, it was the first time you kissed me. I should have just told you back then how I felt. We could have had this sooner.” He stroked Meghan's head as she suckled, her little noises filling the room.

"I know. We'd probably have two kids by now if that was the case." We both laughed and he kissed my forehead. "But we have it now. And that's all that matters."

After about an hour, I was moved to a post-partum room. Carter helped me shower and change before he went across the street to Doc Magoo’s to pick up breakfast. While he was gone, I nursed Meghan again so Carter could hold her while I ate. As I chowed down on pancakes, I had to hide the blush on my cheeks. Everything I thought about him holding our daughter for the first time was true: if I thought he was handsome before, he was damn near sexy while he held our baby, especially with his shirt off. 

Since she was happy in his arms, I finished my breakfast and got a short nap in before she needed to feed again and Abby needed to do another fundal massage. I apparently missed her first diaper change, which I was not mad about. I fed her and held her while she slept and Carter was able to take a nap too. 

It wasn’t long after he woke up that a light knock came from the door. Carter and I looked up as it opened, revealing Dr. Greene. “You up for a visitor?” 

“Sure.” I said, smiling. 

“How’d it go?” 

“Everything went great.” Carter confirmed, looking down at the baby and running a finger over her head. 

“Carter got to deliver her.” I added. 

“He did?” Mark questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“Yeah. He didn’t play doctor the whole time, so I thought he deserved it.” 

“It was awesome.” Carter said, that dopey smile permanently glued on his face. 

“Do you want to hold her?” I asked. Mark smiled and nodded, walking over to the bed. I sat up a little and put the baby in his arms. Having his own kid, he was a natural and took her smoothly. Mark smiled down at her and gently swayed from side to side as he stood. 

“She’s beautiful you guys.”

“Because she looks just like her mom.” Carter complimented. 

“What’s her name?” 

“Meghan Renee Carter.” He said proudly. 

“Is that a family name?” 

“No.” I said, shaking my head. “We thought we’d give her something new. Something just for her.” 

Mark nodded and looked down at the baby. “Hi Meghan. There are a lot of people downstairs who are really excited to meet you. I had to sneak up here after my shift just to get past everyone. You’ll have to come visit when you’re a little bigger.” He held her a little while longer before he passed her back to Carter. “Congratulations you guys. Let us know if you need anything when you are settled at home.” 

“Will do.” 

“Thanks Dr. Greene.” 

Carter was totally in love, more than he ever thought possible. Here he was, sitting in a hospital chair holding his newborn daughter while the love of his life slept a few feet away. This tiny, beautiful, soft bundle was theirs. They were all happy and healthy. This was something he never knew he wanted for himself, but somehow so desperately needed. He raised the baby up and kissed her head, taking a moment to appreciate her new baby smell. It was his new favorite scent, next to Evie’s perfume. He never ever wanted to leave this bubble. Suddenly, a knock came from the door, breaking him from his focus. He looked up and saw someone he never expected to walk in: Dr. Benton. 

“Can I come in?” 

“Uh, sure. We’ll just have to be quiet. Evie is sleeping.” 

Benton nodded and quietly closed the door before walking over to Carter. He looked down at the bundle in his arms. “What’s her name?” 

“Meghan.” 

“She’s cute. Looks like Evie.” 

“That’s what everyone is saying.” He stroked her cheek. “I don’t mind it though.” 

“When was she born?” 

“This morning, just after 2 AM.” 

“She getting on okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah. She’s eating well, sleeping. She’s passed all her tests so far.” 

“Guess she got something from you.”

Carter scoffed and nodded his head. “I guess so.” He paused. “You want to hold her?” 

Benton looked up from the baby. “Uh, no, that’s okay.” 

“Come on Benton. You’re not gonna break my daughter. Besides it’s not that different then holding a boy.” 

“Fine.” Peter relented and let Carter put the baby in his arms. He hadn’t held one since Reese was born and a familiar warm feeling spread in his chest as Meghan wiggled a little before deciding she was comfortable, never opening her eyes. 

“See, she likes you.” Carter offered. Benton rolled his eyes and held her for a couple more seconds, before passing her back to Carter. 

“Tell Evie I said congratulations.”

“Will do.” 

And with that, his old mentor left the room. 

A short, but meaningful meeting. Definitely Dr. Benton’s style. 

We left the hospital as a family of three 24 hours later. A couple more members of the ER staff visited us before our jailbreak: Carol, Jing-Mei, and Haleh dropped by at various times. But overall, everyone gave us our space and sent their love. It was so odd being in the car with a newborn. She wasn’t the biggest fan of her car seat yet, so every time she remotely made a sound, Carter got nervous and wanted to pull over. But a quick squeeze of the hand and some reassurance kept us going. Otherwise, it would have taken us all day to get back to the apartment. 

From there, we were learning as we went. You would think working with babies and kids all the time would help, but this was a whole different ballgame. The first couple of days were rough. She always wanted to be held against someone skin-to-skin, which made sense because of how wrapped up and cuddled she was inside of me for nine months. Thankfully, Carter had some sick days and vacation time built up, so he was with me every step of the way. But we weren’t sure how long it would be before Weaver called him back in. So, we cherished and used what time we had. If we could each handle dozens of ER patients, what was the two of us against a newborn? 

Breastfeeding gradually became a lot easier, though the amount of hydration required was insane. I started to pump so that Carter could feed her whenever I needed a nap. We mainly worked in shifts so the other wouldn’t be too exhausted and it seemed to be working well for us. Meghan was happy and healthy, sailing right through her first appointment. Despite some hiccups here and there, we were okay, and that was all I could ask for. 

Almost two weeks into bringing the baby home was when Carter got the call asking if he could come in for a shift. Flu was busting down the ER’s door and taking out doctors and nurses left and right. Even Weaver seemed to be sick. So reluctantly, Carter left us the next morning with a promise to take precautions and not handle flu patients. Being home by myself with the baby was a big adjustment. I stuck to the schedule we had started the best I could with a few adjustments here and there. It was hard, but I was determined to make it through. 

When Carter returned home that night, he was drained. It had been a long first day back. But despite all that, he still was dad. He fed her and changed her to make up for missing today. He "played" with and read to her, telling me and her about a kid he worked with and how apparently Abby, my OB nurse was actually a medical student who just started her ER rotation. I brought him dinner as he held her skin to skin. He even fell asleep on the couch, our daughter snuggled into his chest, content with her father. 

Overall, I was pretty damn proud of us. We had a beautiful new family that was thriving despite working off little to no sleep. Our daughter was happy and healthy. What more could we ask for? Everything was pretty dang perfect if you asked me. 

[thatswhatsushesaid]

well here's a new take on the wwx-wlj-wc sexual violence sequence at the wen supervisory office that i haven't encountered before: apparently some people over on the mdzs subreddit genuinely think it wasn't even wlj who [redacted because yikes] to wc. because we clearly can't use context clues, or our brains, to make the connection between "his woman" and the only named woman character who spends any amount of time with him in the text. aka wlj.

also apparently even if he did do the thing to wlj and made her [do the other thing] to wc, she had it coming, so we shouldn't care about anything that wwx does to her, or forces her to do.

anyway this fandom is the tar pit.

[siena-sevenwits]

🫖

[mer-se]

i miss my last days off

[mazojo]

The feminism leaving my body anytime Eilisha from Love Island Australia

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Yippee, might have a place to live, don't want to jinx it but if anyone wants to hope or pray for me I'll take it! Wanted to share cuz I'm excited!!

[chickenisamazing]

Why do I always make friends in a class or read the textbook after the class is over

[firstroseofspring]

thinking pondering to me john torres is like. what if u met a woman. with confidence and dignity and a strong moral backbone. you meet and she makes a distinct impression with her honesty and her frankness and she seems like she's always sure of what she wants and what she needs and she's so different from anyone else you know and thats exciting and she's exciting and she likes you specifically you. and you don't think much of you but it feels good to be liked by someone like that. you love her of course. you marry her. of course!