#and youtube is very.. idk. public. and i would love to talk and film myself but im also self conscious af about looks and pronounciation

[maliciouslove]

.. what platform would yall recommend for me to use if i want to make a blog/podcast/series/whatever so i can recommend anime and provide summaries, details, elaborate list so the girlies (gn) can have a fun and easy time finding anime similar to other anime/manga they enjoyed? because. im feeling very insane rn and im ready to do it.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #411

“everybody’s got loaded stories, and i know for a fact everybody sees a bullseye on my back”

Have you ever been to jail? No. Opinion on snow? I absolutely love it! Not big on the slush it leaves behind, though. It gets ugly. What are you best at drawing? Meerkats. Are you scared of going over bridges? Nah. If you had endless energy and stamina, how would you spend your days? Plenty of exercise, lots of exploration with my camera, doing chores much more regularly... stuff like that. What mental or physical space do you go when you want to recharge or relax? I go to my room and watch YouTube. Did you have/use a comfort object as a child (do you continue to have one)? I actually don't remember. Now as an adult, if I go somewhere, my purse is actually like my comfort item in that I like to sit and sort of hug it to feel more secure. When was the last time you said something you regret? What did you say? I'm unsure. What do you tend to get carried away with? New hobbies/interests. It will be like all I care about for a long while, ha ha. Do you believe we have souls; do you believe in a life after death? Yes to both. Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Ugh, yes, and it's the absolute worst. What kind of vitamins did you take as a kid? We had those Flintstones ones for a while, but for most of my childhood, we had gummy vitamins. Have you ever gone to court? Well, yes, but not for like your ordinary court hearing. While hospitalized on one occasion, a lawyer visited to speak to the patients informing us that we could argue against our discharge dates if we believed we were going to be committed for too long, which I thought I was, so I signed up to bring my case in front of a judge. So yeah, I've been to court, but not for ordinary reasons. Are you friends with your neighbors? "Friends," no. The people to our left like just moved out, and I don't even know if we've ever been outside at the same time as the family on our right. Favorite color? I like baby pink. How long has it been since you’ve seen The Lion King? I saw the CGI remake when it came out, if that counts? I don't know about the original. When did you last hold hands with someone? Sometime when I was at my sister's house, my niece grabbed my hand to drag me somewhere, ha ha. Have you ever had a crush on your sibling's friend? No. Have you ever gone to a beach? Multiple times. How good is your eyesight? It is very, VERY bad. I need new glasses severely. What’s the best wedding you’ve been to? My former dance teacher's. Have you ever had a negative encounter with the police? What happened? No. What’s your favourite thing to cook/bake? Do you eat it often? I don't do either. How do you flush the toilet in public? I generally use my elbow. I don't like standing on one leg, so I don't really use my foot like I'd prefer. Favorite horror movie? Silent Hill is dearest to me overall just because of what it is, but as a horror film, I think the original Blair Witch Project is best. Do you have your wisdom teeth? X-rays have only ever shown two are present, but I have enough space for those. What would you name your pet snake if you had one? It would depend on their appearance. The snake I have currently is named Venus because her coloration is similar to the planet. Do you like peanuts? Only when covered in chocolate. Where do you typically shop for bras and underwear? Do you tend to keep it simple, or have a variety of different items? Have you ever gotten a professional bra fitting? I don't get new undergarments (or clothes in general) frequently, but historically, my bras are bought online and underwear just from Wal-Mart. I don't really get the second question? I mean I don't have a style when it comes to those types of clothes, if that's what you mean. I've never had an actual bra-fitting, but I absolutely need to but keep putting it off. It seems like NO bra fits me properly all-around, and it's ridiculously annoying. What (if any) types of xrays/scans/other diagnostic tests have you had done? Was anything found? Idk man, a lot. I've had xrays on my wrist (found a fracture), teeth, legs... maybe more? I've also had an ultrasound on my liver for reasons I don't recall. I either had an MRI or CT scan (I can't remember which) when I got a concussion, and uhhhh... I can't think of anything else. Were you breast or bottle fed as a child? If you plan to have children, which do you think you’ll choose? Do you think one is really better than the other? I was nursed, and if I hypothetically had children, I'd definitely try to do the same. It was so incredible to me that I've never forgotten this: when I was at the hospital while my sister had her first baby, there was a chart on the wall of how many more nutrients were in breast milk versus formula milk, and the list was GARGANTUAN. Like, unbelievable. Now, do I think it's BETTER? That's a complicated question for which, in short, my answer is no. More nutritious, well, given what I just said, obviously. But breastfeeding just doesn't work for all mothers for a plethora of reasons, like the time demand, they can be self-conscious, it's painful... and all those things are okay. A mother should do what works best for her. Neither one is "wrong" or makes someone less of a mother because they feed their child less traditionally. Do you find that you have become more selective in terms of friendships as you’ve gotten older? Did the friendships you thought would last over time end up that way? Absolutely. There are just some kinds of people I absolutely do not tolerate anymore. And no, not most. We just drifted apart with time, or given most of my closest friendships are/were online, they just fell off the face of the earth. What are you doing right now? This and re-watching John Wolfe play Bloodborne. Bloodborne is such a comfort series to me... somehow, ha ha. Yet another game I've never played but desperately want to. Where are you? In my bedroom, as always. When you get yelled at, do you yell back or let it go? Depending on who it is, I might yell back, but most likely cry, ha ha. I hate being yelled at, like a lot. Is the person you last texted single? That would be my mom, so yeah. I've hoped she'd find a partner forever... She, probably more than anyone I know, deserves love from the *right* guy. I worry a lot how lonely she may become whenever I move out. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not at all. Are you friends with any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriends? Girt and Sara, yes. Are you lonely? Be honest. Very. What has made you happy today? It's too early for this. What has made you sad today? Nothing, really. Last thing eaten? I had leftover pancakes from yesterday. Are you wearing anything that’s not yours? No. Do you like to wear makeup? I mean it makes me feel prettier, sure, but the actual time investment doesn't feel worth it for me personally. Especially when you're not even that good with applying it. Have you ever attempted to write a story or novel? Many times when I was younger. Would you rather have perfect hair or perfect skin? Perfect skin. I hate my skin, it has so many blemishes. What’s your middle name? Marie. How big is your bed? Queen. Do you drink? Only a bit for special occasions, really. I'll have a daiquiri on your average day every once and a blue moon. Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life? That's an understatement. Do you prefer pasta, salad, or coleslaw? Pasta. I hate coleslaw. Do you find smoking unattractive? Yes. Where’s the last place you went besides your house? The TMS office. Do you eat breakfast daily? Yes. Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater? My dad. Do you like your cell phone? No, but it gets the job done. I just wish I had a phone with a good camera. Has anyone ever sang to you? Yes. So, what if you married the last person you kissed? That's the dream, but I acknowledge and accept it just might not work out like that. Do you usually answer your texts? Almost always. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle? Yes. Who has seen you cry the most? My mom, for sure. Have you ever just laid down outside and stared at the stars? Yeah, Jason and I did that one night on the trampoline. Have your friends ever randomly stopped by your house? In the past, yes. Think to the last person you kissed; have you ever kissed them on the ground? No. Do you have a condom in your room? No, got no use for one. Do your siblings ever pay for stuff for you? Yes. What brand is your digital camera? Canon. Do you own expensive perfume/cologne? No; I really don't get the point. When was the last time you went tanning? Ew, never. I find NO appeal in just lying in the boiling sun. Do you like the smell of fresh cut grass? No, I hate it. Do you get embarrassed easily? Like you would not fucking believe. It's one of the things I hate most about myself, because I'm embarrassed about everything I like and what makes me me. Has anyone ever thrown you a surprise party? No. Do you always wear your seatbelt? Absolutely. You couldn't pay me not to. Do you sing in the shower? No. Have you ever been called a slut/whore/something along those lines? Only playfully among friends. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly/didn't even know? Yes. Have you ever fallen in love with a really good friend of yours? Yes. Do you own a blacklight? No. Do you like fruit better than vegetables? Definitely. Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Of my current friends, only Girt has. If you’re straight, have you ever thought about kissing the same sex? If you’re gay, have you ever thought about kissing the opposite sex? I'm bisexual, soooo. What does your laugh sound like? Do you have a loud laugh or a quiet laugh? Bro my laugh is so fucking loud and obnoxious. Is there a reality TV show you would consider taking part in? No.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 5 Episode 2 Recap: It’s Group B Time, let’s meet them! (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello my fellow Masked Singer fanatics! Welcome (or welcome back) to Ana’s Masked Singer recap, where I, Ana (nice to virtually meet you btw), recap every single episode of The Masked Singer. Here we are again with season 5, but this time another group, Group B, which consist of Black Swan 🖤🦢, Piglet 🐷, Chameleon 🦎, Grandpa Monster 👹 👴, and Phoenix 🦜.

So, let’s begin with the first eliminated contestant of Group B:

The first eliminated contestant was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Phoenix 🦜

Commentary: Ok, so this wasn’t surprising whatsoever, she sang Tik Tok by Kesha and you can obviously tell that she isn’t a singer at all. Like idk how else to explain it to you guys, but I guess she was talk singing... kind of like Wendy/the lips last season... so it was kind of easy the moment she opened her mouth to start singing to recognize immediately who it was...

Having said that, she was revealed to be (as I knew, this one wasn’t hard)...

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

Caitlyn Jenner

Hehe I knew it! Again, like Wendy Williams aka the lips, this was way too obvious. She already walked around Hollywood Blvd with the Don’t Talk to me hoodie on so I knew she was going to be on the show but the min I saw Phoenix, the clues, and the moment she opened her mouth, I was so certain it was Caitlyn. No, I am not a big Kardashian/Jenner fan tbh but I used to watch the show way back when.... like in 2016? I am not sure, but I recognized her voice immediately.

Now onto my guesses for the remaining 4:

1. Black Swan 🦢🖤

Commentary: So she sang Barracuda by Heart and damn, she got a strong voice! It’s a really amazing voice, even though the song choice wasn’t my favorite, because it didn’t suit her voice completely and showcase her range, but she was badass (can I say that? Whatever, this is my show, I’ll say it, it’s not THAT bad of a word) tbh. In certain parts, she was like screaming a lot and I was like um maybe this isn’t her best song choice but her voice is amazing! She gives me Seahorse mixed with Flamingo vibes, I love her!

I think she is singer extraordinaire:

Jojo (not Siwa but we have another Jojo on our hands)

Reasoning/Clues: there are so many clues that match but her voice is the main thing that clicked for me that it was her, but let’s look at those clues so you can get the picture:

Wanted Poster with RV highlighted= she appeared in the movie RV with Robin Williams

She talks about being trapped and someone else’s prey and then getting out of it= she was trapped in her record label & there was controversy surrounding it and she had to sue her label for not releasing her music

A 5 on a watch= she toured with 5th harmony and has released 5 albums

Cluedledoo (Rooster) clue= she covered a monster= she covered one of T-Pain aka the Monster from season 1’s songs

2. Piglet 🐷

Commentary: He was my favorite of the night with his rendition of Speechless by Dan + Shay! You guys know if you have seen my recaps in season 3 (or even last week with Robopine) that I have a soft spot for a guy who has a super silky voice, like either boy band type or R&B smooth af kinda vibe (i.e. Fox in season 2, Turtle in season 3, Robopine in season 5).... or should I say any guy who can falsetto and Piglet is giving me those boy band smooth vibes, I love it so much! His voice is soooo familiar I am so sure about this one by the way.

My guess and I am so sure of this is:

Nick Lachey

Reasoning/Clues: This one I recognized immediately, the voice was really easy to figure out, but these clues also are pretty convincing (oh and he was on Ken’s show, I Can See Your Voice, so it’s not surprising that he would be on this show):

The clue package had a dating show vibe = reminiscent of Love is Blind, the Netflix dating show he hosts with his wife Vanessa

The world saw his heart break= he had a very public relationship with his ex-wife Jessica Simpson and they even had a reality show together called Newlyweds

Cluedle-doo clue: “knows how to stay cool even in the heat”= referring to his past aka his boy band 98 degrees (get it? Because that’s the heat and they are cool because they are a boy band... well played Masked Singer well played... I wanna meet whoever makes these clues because they are great with puns and they seem super clever)

3. Chameleon 🦎

Commentary: Chameleon surprised me I am not gonna lie. I thought he was going to be another athlete like Whatchamacallit last season or White Tiger from season 3 because he was so tall but nope he surprised me with his rendition of Ride with Me by Nelly. He seems like a legit rapper and I liked him a lot than I thought I would honestly so this guess isn’t totally out of left field.

My guess is that this is...

Wiz Khalifa

Reasoning/Clues: so yeah, the voice and the height kinda gave it away to me (Wiz is 6 foot 4 inches and his body type matches the chameleon), but also yeah clues I have to give you guys some logic bombs instead of being like eh that voice and height BOOM WIZ KHALIFA... yeah no it doesn’t work like that, so here are the logic bombs hehe:

Dice with 2 and 3 on it= he did a song with Miley Cyrus called 23

007 clue= he has a song called (yes this is real, look it up) James Bong (omg I am trying not to laugh while typing this but whatttt?! Google really is a gem omg 😳😂) and he played James Bond in the music video

His love of technology & “put tech in technicolor”= apparently, the guy is a huge tech geek and has said it in a lot of interviews (wow humans are so complex and cool, I would have never thought that this man is a tech savvy guy... but the more you know I guess <P.S. I Googled half of these things... like idk this off the top of my head duh, I usually go by voice with my guesses and then I google the clues>)

4. Grandpa Monster

Commentary: He sang Mambo No. 5 and yeah it’s a basic choice for a song, but I liked it. He is not my favorite by any means and now that I listen to it again, I can only hear this person and I am not a fan of him like whatsoever (even tho I gotta acknowledge he has changed and I have *I KNOW... I HATE ME TOO* agreed with stuff he has said in his podcast un ironically.... yeah I am so sorry, I hate myself for saying this too... anyways let’s just get to the person I mean

I have a sneaking suspicion that it is (unfortunately):

Logan Paul

Reasoning/Clues: Yup, um... I really hope I am wrong but honestly ever since someone said it in the YouTube comments section of his performance, I can’t un hear it and I am shook honestly (at least it’s not his brother... I mean we can get worse, and he has respected the pandemic and not been a prick like his *cough* brother *cough*... just saying.. oh and if you don’t know what I am talking about or who this is, he’s a YouTuber who got into some um controversy because he filmed a dead body in 2018 so there’s that... oh and his brother has done a billion worse things than him, but you can Google that one if you are interested in finding out more because it’s too much for me to talk about and we are not even talking about Jake (that’s the brother))... Anyways, sorry, I ramble, but ugh the clues seem convincing and it irks me that it is because I am not a fan of neither of these guys and I don’t want them in the show but whatever I guess he’s the lesser of 2 evils:

He was a troublemaking fool as a youngster= yeah probably regarding that suicide forest video a couple of years ago (that ok, lemme give him credit, he has apologized for it and has kind of proven himself... yuck I hate saying that, I am NOT defending him I swear)

Acting out for all eyes on me= he used to be very well known for pranks on his channel back in the day (before the incident) and he did some stupid stuff for clout lemme tell ya (I never liked these guys, like ever, I thought they were weird.... not my demographic I guess, I wasn’t 12 nor a boy)

6 in Xs and Os like football plays = he did play football 🏈 in high school, he was so good that and actually attributes playing football for long term brain damage he has that makes him as the Wikipedia article says it (I am legit gonna quote what it says because I thought it was fascinating) “affects his ability to have empathy and a human connection with others.” (Mind you, he himself claimed this according to this article)

“Acting out”= he has acted in a few things before and starred in The Thinning

Web with the shooting star= he is a web star, get it? YouTube... web star... hehe again these clue writers are *chef’s kiss*

Cluedle-doo clue: he has trained for battle= now his new thing is boxing and he has trained for actual fights before, his first one being against British YouTuber KSI which he lost... oh and I almost forgot, how can I forget this cute little detail.... he is set to fight Floyd Mayweather this summer apparently... OH AND DID I MENTION HE IS MAKING 5 MILLION DOLLARS FROM THIS DEAL?! He’s winning either way with this fight like damn... but that wasn’t part of it, I just thought it was trippy... again I say, Google is a gem, u find some interesting reads

Ok so that’s it (what a great note to end on lol)! I hope you guys enjoy! Sorry for it being so long and taking so much time to do.. it’s been a crazy last couple of days! I will try to get the next one this upcoming weekend so I’ll see you guys then. (Ohhh btw I now live tweet the show on my Twitter- @photolover82 so if you want to follow me on there and live tweet with me, that can be fun!) Bye guys and don’t forget to like, comment, and do all the social media-y things, you know the drill!

[purplesurveys]

1230

When was the last time you felt like “getting into someone’s pants”?  Way back last year.

What is your favorite energy drink, if you have a favorite at all?  I find energy drinks nasty.

Would you have kids with the last person you kissed?  That wouldn’t be possible even in the literal sense.

Do you know someone who threatens to kill themselves?  Before.

Would you ever completely dye your hair the color green?  Yes, but I would opt for a darker shade rather than a bright or neon one.

Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship before?  I have not. Thinking about it, I’m pretty low-maintenance so I could probably handle it if I ever find myself in that situation, as long as I’m invested enough in the relationship and my partner.

What is your favorite food to eat around Christmas?  I like anything my family prepares really, but I definitely go for lumpia first if I see a whole container of it.

Do the people in your town speak like rednecks?  No and I’m not sure if we have an equivalent for that here.

When was the last time you cried happy tears?  Like a week ago when the Permission to Dance video came out. The ending when everyone was taking off their masks and smiling was really heartwarming.

How liberal are you?  Enough to make most of my relatives uncomfortable.

Would you mind living near large predatory animals?  Yes. I’ve lived in gated villages all my life so it will take a lot of getting used to.

Have you ever experienced altitude sickness?  I don’t think so. The ‘worst’ I’ve experienced is just feeling pressure in my ears and having weakened hearing whenever we drive up mountains; it takes a while before mine do the popping thing and I get my normal hearing back.

What’s your biggest priority right now?  To be consistent at improving at my job and making fewer mistakes as I go. I shared this with my boss recently and she told me not to worry too much as I’m doing better than I think I am and that the mistakes I beat myself about have actually been small and fixable ones, but the perfectionist/workaholic in me just refuses to be reassured lol.

If you’ve stayed overnight in a hospital, how did you entertain yourself?  The last time this happened, public wi-fi was still mostly a myth so I had to contend with A LOT of forced napping just to make the time pass by. I didn’t have a phone either, so my experience was extremely dull and boring.

Are your hands unsteady?  They’re not surgeon-level stable but I think they’re fine for the most part.

Do you listen to a lot of mainstream music?  I used to until I got into BTS. I haven’t really listened to any other artist since getting into them back in April lol.

Do you think you’re pretty?  Some days.

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook?  Yeah, a few work contacts like bloggers whose names I recognized but have never talked to/engaged with.

Do you have dirty pictures in your phone?  Nope.

Have you ever looked up porn on the internet?  Yes. I have my on-and-off phases when it comes to porn though and these days I don’t watch a lot of it.

Would you ever shoot someone right in the face? In a case of self-defense where I was clearly trying to be killed, that's right where I would aim. But otherwise, of course I wouldn't. < Sounds about right. But holy shit that sounds like it would look so gross.

Have you ever sold drugs?  I’ve never been around drugs ever.

Did you ever try cutting yourself?  It was a coping mechanism many, many moons ago.

Who’s the last guy you texted?  It was a - surprise surprise - delivery guy who needed directions again to my house.

Who do you know that wears the most make up?  I’m not sure, but then again most people I know don’t really put on makeup these days because lol Covid and stay-at-home orders??

Do any of your friends have kids?  None of my friends do but I know several acquaintances and people from high school who’ve already given birth.

Have you ever been tied up?  Yeah.

How many times have you been cussed out?  Nearly everyday as a teenager.

Are you anyone’s first love?  I think?

Have you ever had an out-of-body experience?  Nope.

Do you have more than one personality?  Nope.

Do you prefer gory horror films or the psychological ones? Psychological ones for sure, but I don’t mind gore as well as long as it’s fun to watch and that it’s not too corny.

Do you have a favorite YouTuber or do you not watch much YouTube?  I haven’t watched a lot of YouTubers these days, but very recently I’ve been gravitating towards soothing vloggers like Anna Park and Mejiwoo. Their vlogs are greeeeaaaaat and I’m excited to discover similar creators so I can watch more videos that carry the same vibe.

Are you a good dancer?  I dance only when alone or when drunk. That said, I’m no good at all.

If you could find one long-lost friend of the past, who would it be?  Continued from yesterday. It’d be nice to reconnect with Raegan for like a day, just to catch up. Then again I’ve since been able to track her down on social media, so it’s nice to be able to see how she’s doing, at least from afar.

Was your sixth grade teacher a man or a woman? The teacher-in-charge of my section was a woman. They didn’t really appoint guy teachers to be TICs until recently.

Have you ever had any teeth pulled?  Yeah, but it had been a decayed tooth at that point that really needed to be pulled since it technically didn’t have a purpose anymore.

Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair. 

Have you ever been to a nursing home?  I don’t think so.

Have you ever lived in a house that has been broken into?  Fortunately, no. My mom’s childhood home was robbed though, and their grand piano ended up being stolen :( To this day they have no clue how the thieves were able to pull it off without making too big of a fuss.

Is there someone in your life you don’t want in it?  I don’t think I dislike anyone that much at the moment.

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?  Three. Two of them because they died, and the other one is my dad for the times we had to drive him to the airport though I only cried over it only as a kid. 

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?  Andi.

Has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?  Yes.

Pretending to “never get the text” from someone who annoys you. Is that you?  Not really. I reply, just not quickly enough.

If your ex came up to you and asked you to take them back, what would you say?  Honest to god I would probably be smug about it, and ask what led to the sudden change of mind. I’m doing too okay now to entertain the request though, so idk if I would agree to it or not because I’ve worked pretty hard to get here.

Do you prefer boys to shave down there? I wouldn’t know; I’ve never been with a guy before so I haven’t really had a chance to establish a preference.

How much does your mother know about your sex life (or lack thereof)? Nothing.

Do you enjoy watching cooking shows?  I have my moods. I prefer my cooking shows on YouTube, though.

Do you worry about gaining weight?  No.

Have you ever seen the movie A Walk to Remember? Cliche or worth watching?  Yeah the acting was so fucking cheesy the first 5 minutes the only thing left for me to do was gag. What’s one event your town has that you don’t like to participate in?  They don’t really organize stuff here, or if they do I never join them to begin with.

Are any of your siblings married? What are their spouses' names?  Nope. I know my sister doesn’t want to get married + I don’t speak to my brother, so I dunno if I’ll ever have any in-laws tbh.

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out?  Well obviously I crave it these days, so it actually feels nice when everyone in the family has errands to run on the same day.

Did you lose friends when you started dating someone?  I lost Sofie, but I also blame college life for that loss.

Did you leave milk and cookies for Santa when you were little?  No.

To who did you last give the finger to?  I haven’t had to flip someone off in a while. I’m guessing just some stupid driver.

Do you talk in your sleep?  Nope. At least I have never been informed that I do.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?  It’s civil enough for the house to stay quiet most days, but it’s nothing excellent.

Have you ever been a featured member on any website?  I don’t think so.

Do you feel that your previous relationships were a waste of time?  Yes.

Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows?  Without. I HAAAAAATE marshmallows.

Which do you like better: Regular cakes or cookie cakes?  I never got the point of cookie cakes tbh lol.

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex?  No.

If your significant other cheated on you, would you take them back?  I know I definitely have the capacity to be dumb enough to do this, but it would also depend on how invested I am in the person.

What was the last song you listened to?  I'm currently listening to a slowed down version of Jungkook’s cover of Biebs’ 2U. 4 AM things.

What do you look for most in a friendship?  I’ve answered this question on a previous survey, same with a few of the following questions.

[dobrikswriting]

Timing || D.D. Imagine

Request: Can I do a David request? She’s a big movie star and they dated for a while but broke up and they’re were like best friends, and maybe after the break up she has to bring another celebrity to the premiere of a movie for PR and she tries to tell him but he won’t listen and maybe they kiss at the end idk what from there. Angst- Fluff maybe? Just angst ? Idk! (Love your writing btw)

Thank you so much! Hope you like it!

"I just don't think it's a good idea." I said running a hand through my hair.

"Why it makes sense and it's good PR for the movie, it's happening." My publicist, Danielle, basically commanded.

"Okay master." I scoffed and hung up the phone. I laid down on the hotel bed and closed my eyes. I really didn't want to go to the premier anyways, let alone be forced to go with Tom. Don't get me wrong Tom Holland was a very nice man and I guess I was lucky to have to spend a night with him, but I was just dreading this night in general. Movie premieres used to be so fun. I could get all dressed up and take pictures and have a great night, but the only reason the night was even half way decent is because I used to have David by my side. He made the whole night better. We had been broken up for a couple months, our schedules just didn't work for each other he was always busy shooting and I was always traveling for movies, we just didn't have time for each other. I sighed and picked my phone up to call David, if I was going to be seen with someone else i felt like I wanted it clear to him that it was just for publicity.

I heard the phone ringing and then the beginning to his voicemail. I hung up and quickly sent him a text to call me when he could. I heard a knock on my door and went to answer it, I was relived to see my best friend turned assistant on the other side.

"Hey Ang," I said and gave her a quick hug. "Did Danielle talk to you?" I asked wondering if she knew the plans for tomorrow night.

"Yeah she just called so I came to check and see where you mind is at." She replied stepping into the hotel room and sitting down on the bed.

"I don't know. It's it weird that I'm sad to be seen with someone else? Is it crazy I just want it to be David by my side?" I asked laying down next to her.

"No, its not crazy. You and David were such a big part of each others lives it's normal to miss him. But don't let that ruin the fact that you are still going to have an amazing night." She said turning to look at me.

"I just wish we had ended on bad terms." I said laughing a little because it sounded ridiculous. "It would just be easier to move on if I didn't still love him, and want him so fucking bad." I said, my voice cracking saying it out loud. "I know that we both agreed this is what was best but there is a part of me that is scared if he sees that I'm out with some else that I moved on and then next thing you know he's actually moved on. I know we didn't work out right now but I just can't help but hope some how we find a way." I added.

"That's understandable, but it's also selfish. I love you with all my heart but you and David not working out might be a sign that you needed to let him go so something better could happen for you and for him. If you guys find a way to make it work that is awesome but don't let it consume you. Don't let that thought of what maybe could, but probably not, happen ruin something that could make you really happy. Not saying that that's Tom, but just let you mind be open okay." She said putting an arm around me to comfort me.

"I wish it was as easy as that." I said.

"I know it's hard, but come on lets go, we have a rehearsal dressing so don't be sad lets go make you look like a hot ass bitch and then you can take a picture and post it for all the eligible bachelors in your life." She joked. I jokingly rolled my eyes and followed her out the door.

-

Time had gone by so fast I didn't realize how late it was until I walked outside and saw it was dark. We had just finished practicing what my hair and makeup would look like for tomorrow, I looked pretty amazing if I do say so myself. I needed some fresh air so I went on a walk outside the hotel until I found a bench along the side walk and I decided to sit and just relax for a second. It was short lived when I started to feel my phone vibrate in my hands. I looked down to see David's name on the screen, I tried to ignore the butterflies in my stomach, I had missed him so much I was excited to talk to him. I answered his face time and waiting for the screen to show him.

"Hey! Wow y/n you look good! Have a hot date tonight?" He joked. I felt a blush come up, it was a very simple compliment so I don't know what it made me so giddy. Maybe it had something to do with how good he looked with his messy brown hair, and his glasses on.

"Thank you, we were just practicing some possible looks for tomorrow night, you think this is a winner?" I asked doing some model faces.

"I think you'll look amazing no matter what." He softly replied back. I smiled at him.

"Well I just wanted to talk to you about something, today Danielle told me that tomorrow, instead of my going alone they want me to go with Tom and I ju-" I started but was quickly cut off.

"Y/n that's cool! I've heard he's a super fun guy you'll have a really good night! I gotta go but good luck. You look really good." He said quickly and then the call ended.

My heart sank a little bit, I don't know what I expected but I was sad that I didn't get to talk to him longer. I missed him so much it hurt. I put my phone down in my bag and just sat on the bench for a little longer. I thought about what Angela said about not wasting my time being sad and letting that ruin something that could make me happy and I made a goal for myself to not let me ruin tomorrow night with sad thoughts. I got up and went back to my room. I got in the shower to wash off all the make up. After I was all clean I got in bed and opened up youtube to watch a couple videos until I felt more tired, of course the first suggestion that popped up was David's new video. I felt my heart get tight as I looked at the thumbnail of him and Madison Beer alone in his Tesla together. It was nothing to get hurt over so I don’t know why I felt like my world was shattering. Maybe that's why he didn't really care about who I was with. He had already moved on. I had spent all day being sad about it and here he was doing it with no problem. I put my phone on the night stand and just laid in bed thinking about everything. From my life with David and everything it could of been to my life now, and I how I was going to turn it into something that made me happy, I loved acting, and at first moving around for movies was so exciting, but now it was just exhausting and putting a strain on my life that I didn't want anymore. I quickly sent my manager a text to look into some tv show gigs, so I for at least a while I could stay in one place for once.

-

Premier day always seemed to go in fast forward. I was always being whisked around for someone to work on my tan, someone else doing hair, someone else doing make up, getting dressed and then for someone else to practice what to say and how to say it so that magazines couldn't take anything out of context.

I hadn't even had much time to think about anything when I heard a knock on the dressing room door. "Come in." I shouted at who ever was on the other side.

"Hello." I heard a voice say as the door opened. I smiled brightly as I saw Tom's face appear from behind the door. "Oh my gosh you look amazing." He said coming to greet me with a kiss on the cheek. We had grown pretty close since filming the movie together. "So how do you feel about tonight?" He asked, he was there through my break up with David, he knew how hard it had been on me.

"Good you know we are going to have an amazing night." I replied back smiling at him.

"That's my girl! We'll the limo is waiting, you ready to face the cameras?" He asked holding his hand out. I nodded and grabbed it, walking with him out to the limo, where there was luckily champagne, I happily grabbed it and popped it open, taking a drink without a glass.

"Oh so we're about to have a real fun night." Tom added laughing, I laughed with him and passed him the bottle. We had a only about a ten minute ride to the venue but we put quite a dent in the bottle. I giggled as the limo came to a stop and a figure open our door. We got out and I took a deep breath as Tom got slid his hand in mine. I looked down at our interlocked fingers and back up at him. He squeezed my hand and gave me a knowing smile. We turned to the swarm of fans and cameras as we started to walk into the where the red carpet was. We posed for some pictures before we got to our first interview.

"Y/N can I just say you look breath taking." The interviewer stated right away.

"Thank you thank you, a big shout out to my team that makes this all happen." I said back.

"Tom how does it feel to have such a beautiful date tonight?" They asked moving the mic to him.

"You know I feel very lucky and out of place next to her, she deserves her own red carpet she's amazing." He said laughing.

"Now y/n we were so sad to hear about you and David splitting but this looks like a good couple right here, will we be seeing more of you two in the future." She said looking at me.

I paused for a second not sure what to say back. "You know we are super good friends and I am so lucky to have Tom and all my other friends in my life. I am so happy and ready for the future but for right now that future is just focused on me and no one else."

The interviewer nodded and then went into questions about the movie and our other co-stars. The rest of the night went pretty much the same, I dodged questions about David and for the most part it went really well. It was hard to have a great night when every five minutes someone was asking about David, but Tom made it very fun and as much as possible tired to save me from being asked questions I didn’t want to answer.

After the premier everyone was going to the after party, I was joining but I wanted to change into something more comfortable first so I went back to my hotel. I walked into the lobby and stopped in my tracks as I looked at the seating area and saw that familiar mop of brown hair. David locked eyes with me and instantly stood up and walked over to me.

"Hey, can we talk?" He asked as he got closer. I nodded not able to get any words out, I hadn't seen David in person since we decided to break up and he looked as amazing as ever. We walked in silence back to my room, He sat on the couch and I sat on the bed. No one said anything at first, then David spoke up.

"You look amazing. Did you have fun tonight?" He asked looking at his hands.

"About as much fun as I could have when everyone wants to talk about you all night." I replied. He looked up and me and I could see they were red, almost like he had been crying.

"Why are you here?" I finally asked.

David opened and closed him mouth a couple of time, searching for how he wanted to respond. "I didn't know how to respond when you told me you had a date to this thing tonight." He said looking down again. "Y/N I know we made this decision together but I just wasn't prepared to see you with someone else." He added. "I mean I guess it's bound to happen I mean you are amazing and beautiful. And any one would be lucky to have you."

"It wasn't a real date David, but even if it was, I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be with someone if that's what I want. You can't go posting videos of you and other girls and then still expect me to just sit around and wait for you to want me again." I said, finally releasing the hurt I had been holding inside.

"You obviously didn't watch the video, but anyw-" David started and I cut him off.

"Why? What does that mean?" I asked curious.

"We were giving each other shit, I told her I would never like her back and she joked about how I would never be over you." He said looking back up at me. "And you're right you do deserve that. I just.... I don't want that to be with someone else." He said standing up and walking over to me. "I want to be the one that makes you happy and I know we said ending it was better for both of us but I don't think so. I have been so miserable without you, I would much rather be together and have to work around our schedules than not be with you at all. I miss you." He said, he was standing right in front of me, so close that all I wanted to do was jump into his arms.

"I miss you too David, but do you remember how hard it was before? We ended it for a reason." I replied back, he heart broke as I saw his face fall. "I want to be with you too but what is going to be different?" I asked

"Everything. I'll come with you to set more and travel with you I'll do whatever it takes to make this work I am so sick of not being with you." David replied.

"Last night I asked my manager to try to find me some TV shows I could audition for." I said off topic. "Today he emailed me about a couple shows looking for new characters, almost all them film in LA." I said looking up at David.

"Okay, but do you think that's going to make you happy? You love doing movies and seeing the world." David said looking at down at me, making sure I was making this decision for me not for our relationship.

"I love acting, and I love you and this is a way I can have both. I can still see the world but now it'll just be on vacations with my boyfriend." I said. The biggest smile swept across David's face as he basically leaped on me pushing both of us forward on the bed, his lips met mine and instantly the past few months of pain washed away and everything felt like it would be okay again.

[zanesgirlfriend]

Different Things | Scotty Sire x Reader x Kristen McAtee

Description: Scott and Kristen break up with the reader, but she has some very surprising news that Kristen doesn't like so much.

Requested?: yes by anonymous : Hey idk if you’d do polyamory or not, but could you do a Scott x reader x Kristen, where they break up with the reader, maybe because Kristen wants a baby or to get married, and then two months later reader realises she’s pregnant? But by that point they’ve already burned their bridges with her so it’s awkward?? Thanks for considering it, obviously it’s fine if you don’t want to write it

A/N: idk why i love writing about scott and kristen so much but i realllllyyyy enjoyed this!!

Warnings!!: This got incredibly negative and violent at the end and i dont wanna spoil it but the end is really fucked up and sad and i hope yall know thats not actually what i picture kristen to be like, i just think it was a cool twist, so please consider that as you read, thank you.

_____

Polyamory wasn't for everybody, which is exactly why they kept it from the fans. Scott, y/n, and Kristen did everything in their power to keep the fans from finding out. They double and triple checked videos, avoided PDA with y/n, kept tweets and Instagram comments strictly professional, and never posted pictures with her.

Sometimes she wished she was there first. It started as Scott and Kristen, and the fans could never think anything else. Y/n wanted so badly to just kiss one of her partners in public. To hug and hold hands and dance on her partners in somewhere other than Scott and Kristen's or David's house. She also never found it fair that she had to live in the little side house they had. She always just seemed like something added on to the relationship, never a true part of it.

However, she could never break up with them. They were all she had, and all she wanted.

Too bad they didn't feel the same way.

"Scott, I can't do this anymore, can you please just talk to her?" Kristen begged him for the hundreth time. He always loved Kristen more than y/n, and always did what she asked.

"Shouldn't we do it together? She is dating both of us." He knew he wasn't as good with words as Kristen was, and he couldn't bear to do it alone.

They ended up having their final threesome that night, two of them putting all of the attention on y/n, as they knew it would never happen again. They acted as if pleasing her sexually would absolve them of the guilt of breaking up with her. It made them feel better to pretend they were being generous before ripping away the only thing she cared about.

We just want different things.

She couldn't remember which one of them had said it, but it repeated over and over in her head as she cried herself to sleep.

She spent the next month and a half moving out, getting a dog, and getting her life together. She started hanging out with a different group of YouTubers and avoided all questions concerning the vlog squad. Y/n did whatever she could to not think about the happy couple. Well, until her she missed her period for the second time.

She thought it was just the flu at first, all the puking and hot flashes, and shortness of breath. But deep down she knew. Why did she even waste her money on 5 different types of pregnancy tests when she already knew the answer? Probably for her sanity. Some kind of peace of mind or assurance that she wasn't crazy. That her body wasn't just making it up to force her to think about Scott and Kristen.

She was pregnant, almost two months pregnant. With Scott's baby.

Fuck.

She hadn't seen or spoken to them since the end. She found it too awkward to even like their pictures on instagram, so how was she supposed to tell them?

Of course, she could just keep it a secret and become a single mommy vlogger and have play dates with Colleen Ballinger. But she had no idea how to raise a kid, let alone raise the kid by herself. Brand deals were good, but could she really afford to raise a child in LA?

We need to talk, can we meet somewhere?

Her messaged popped up on his phone, catching him off guard.

"What is it?" Kristen asked through FaceTime. She noticed his face change.

"I just got a weird text from Zane, it's nothing." He lied to his girlfriends face. He texted her back and she sent him the address to her apartment. He ended the conversation with Kristen quickly, pretending David needed him for a bit.

I'm on the way.

He responded and told his friends he had to go somewhere, slipping out virtually unnoticed. The drive to y/n's apartment was nerve wracking. What could she want? Did she want to get back together? Did she want to see him secretly on the side? A million scenarios passed through his mind as he followed the instructions of his GPS.

She was just as nervous, answering the door before he even had a chance to knock. Her puppy barked and wagged his tail at the new visitor. It was strange to think how someone she knew so well and for so long was just another random stranger to the dog.

They hugged awkwardly as she invited him inside. The positive pregnancy test was burning a hole in her back pocket as the pair sat on her couch.

"It's good to see you." His attempt at small talk was futile. They both just wanted to get straight to the point.

His ears seemed to stop working after the words left her mouth.

I'm pregnant. It's definitely yours.

She blabbered on about how she didn't want to force him or Kristen to help her, but that they needed to know. He was too busy trying to understand what she'd said.

"What?!" He laughed, his natural response was to assume that this was some sort of sick joke.

"We don't have to explain anything to the fans, we can just igno-" She blabbered on again, but he was still stuck. He interrupted her ramblings as he pulled out his phone and called Kristen.

"What's up, baby?" She asked, bright and happy and unsuspecting.

"Y/n is pregnant." His words didn't seem real as they left his mouth, and Kristen didn't understand it either. Her heart ached, but she needed to put on a brave face, for the the sake of her and Scott's relationship. She thought the entire drive to y/n's about what they should do.

They spent the next three hours catching up on life and figuring out the best options. It was too hard to keep it a secret.

"We need to film a video." Kristen suggested once everything was worked out. Y/n knew she was right, but wanted nothing else but to hide under the covers until the situation went away.

An Explaination.

The thumbnail was the three of them on the couch, holding hands and staring into the camera.

"Let's talk about polyamorous relationships." Kristen started. The other two stayed silent, only interjecting when they felt it was necessary. Y/n revealed the pregnancy, and Scott talked mostly about what the plan was when the baby was born.

The video was heavy, and the air around the trio felt thick. They'd planned everything out so quickly and filmed a video so suddenly, but there was still this awkward air around them. Y/n was having Scott's baby, and Kristen wasn't. How was Kristen supposed to deal with that? She made Scott break up with y/n so the two of them could grow their relationship, and now y/n was growing his child. Of course, Kristen had never wanted kids or marraige, but she wanted Scott. And she thought she'd had him.

Everything was screwed up, and she didn't like it.

Their friend group took it well, putting on very happy reactions for the camera as they told everyone. It seemed as though everyone in their friend group was filled with positivity.

They waited two more months, y/n hiding her growing stomach as much as she could as Scott continued to add clips to their explaination video. Kristen was sour towards y/n, but Scott was excited.

He was going to be a dad.

Y/n was going to be a mom.

And Kristen was supposed to be what?

She struggled to follow her own plan, only gaining resentment for y/n.

The video was posted, reactions were overwhelmingly positive. This only fueled Kristen's hate.

Scott was busy on the day of the next ultrasound, but Kristen accompanied y/n, promising Scott she would get some pictures of the baby.

"Are you her sister?" The nurse asked Kristen as y/n waddled over to the chair.

"No, I'm kinda the baby's second mom." She tried to explain, only making it sound like they were in love, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Y/n smiled at the growing bean in her tummy as it appeared on the screen.

"Would you like to know the gender?" The nurse asked as she searched for a heartbeat.

"Yes!" Y/n exclaimed, smiling up at Kristen. The way Kristen looked back at her made her uneasy, though. As if Kristen wanted to be nowhere near y/n or the baby.

Kristen walked slowly next to y/n as they left. It was quiet between them, and y/n felt as if she was about to cry.

"Do you have a problem with all of this?" She finally asked, looking Kristen in the eyes.

"Yes, actually, I do." Kristen replied, her rage building.

"You don't have to be invloved, I can take care of the baby myself." Y/n tried to justify Kristen's feelings. She hated making people mad or upset.

"Scott wants to be involved." Kristen was short as she devised an impulsive plan, acting upon pure cruel instinct.

"But you don't have to be! No offense, but I don't want your negativity around my sweet little baby bo-" Her words turned into a scream as Kristen shoved her down the flight of stairs.

_____

READ PART TWO HERE

[jeongfm-blog]

               hello  everyone  !  my  name’s 𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒂 (  pronouns  they  /  them  )  and  i’m  super  excited  to  be  here  !   it’s  been  a  while  since  my  last  city  rp ,  but  since  it’s  one  of  my  fave  kinds  of  rp ,  i  figured  i  would  give  it  a  whirl  once  again  !   some  boring  facts  about  myself  is  that  i’m  a  sucker  for  golden  hour  despite  not  even  having  an  instagram ,  i  spend  too  much  time  watching  youtube  videos  (  i  recently  got  back  into  watching  my  girl  jenn  im  and  now  i  remember  why  i’m  so  obsessed  with  her  ) ,  and  i  have  books  on  my  shelf  that  i  got  for  christmas  and  haven’t  read  a  single  one  !  i’m  super  excited  to  introduce  you  guys  to  my  pride  and  joy  𝒔𝒐𝒇𝒊𝒂  𝒋𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈  as  well  as  to  plot  and  interact  with  everyone  !

full name : sofia jeong.

nickname(s): sof and posy by her dad only !

birthday : february 9th, 1997.

zodiac : aquarius.

moral alignment : neutral good.

gender : cisfemale.

pronouns: she/her/hers.

sexual orientation : bisexual.

romantic orientation : biromantic.

height : 5′6″ ( five foot, six inches ).

hometown : ascot, brisbane, australia.

nationality : australian.

ethnicity : korean.

language(s) spoken : english, korean, and conversational portuguese.

occupation : social media influencer.

aesthetics : bright computer screens at two am, a pristine instagram theme, morning dew, perfect lighting, clear lip gloss, glass skin, selfies in small circular mirrors, freshly dyed rose gold hair, oversized tees and denim shorts, soft skin on white sheets, foreign languages, bright early mornings, staring in awe into someone’s eyes, honeyed laughter, music playing in the background, late night drives, early morning hikes, iced coffee on cold mornings, vanilla scented body lotion, the sound of pencil on paper, highlighter gleaming in the sunlight, perfectly styled hair, and soft pink on crisp white shirts.

i. background.

taemin jeong was a freshman at the university of queensland, studying computer science, when he met his future girlfriend grace kim, who was studying architecture. he was awkward and bumbling while she was sociable and graceful ( no pun intended ), but somehow the couple was a perfect match from the moment they met in freshman algebra. they made their friends sick with their love and moved through the challenges of college with one another. 

the summer before their senior year, they moved into their own off-campus apartment. this same summer, grace discovered that she was pregnant with their first and only child, who the couple later named sofia. when the couple graduated, sofia was three months old and featured in a lot of their graduation photos. 

after their graduation, though, things for the couple began to fall apart. while taemin wanted to marry grace and have a family, grace was feeling trapped as she wasn’t expecting to have a child so soon. so, one day when taemin took sofia to visit his parents, grace packed her things and one picture of their daughter before leaving a note for taemin.

to put it lightly, taemin was heartbroken upon discovery that grace was gone, but he couldn’t sulk for long as he had a wide eyed seven month old to care for. so from that point on, taemin focused on his career and sofia. he thankfully had the help of his parents while he worked long hours to save money, but after two years they moved into their forever home.

growing up, sofia’s life was pretty normal, despite the fact that her mom wasn’t around. there were times where things were tight in the one parent household, but for the most part sofia has no complaints about her childhood. much like a lot of people, sofia was a kid who liked filming weird videos with her friends and doing absolutely nothing with them other than leaving them on the computer for her dad to find.

the very first beauty youtuber that sofia ever watched ( like a lot of people ) was michelle phan ! she absolutely fell in love with michelle and began wanting to do her own makeup videos as well. she made a really crappy channel when she was like ... twelve and let’s just say that the video she made was horrific ! like most youtubers, her channel’s name was like like sofiaposybeauty60 or something ugly like that.

a few years later, when she was about fifteen, sofia tried her hand at youtube once again. this time she made a twitter and instagram to correspond with it, hoping that she could build something of a platform. her videos were of terrible quality and her makeup was probably really bad, but she did it anyways. she’d post her makeup looks on instagram and when that grew, so did her channel.

skipping along because i talk too damn much, now at twenty two, sofia has five million subscribers on youtube and 1.6 million followers on her instagram. if i were to compare her to an actual youtuber, i’d say she’s a mix between jenn im and sophia chang. she’s very much into staying in her own lane and her videos are pretty ~aesthetic and chill. she has her own online clothing store as well called ( something, idk yet ).

anyways, sofia made the move to barcelona from brisbane about a year and a half ago because she wanted a change of scenery. she came to barcelona previously on a trip with some girlfriends and after a while of planning, she made the move ! she currently lives in a cozy little apartment with her eight month old goldendoodle named rockie !

ii. appearance.

sofia’s appearance is pretty much canon to rosé’s ! her hair is currently strawberry blonde and is always a variety of such. she likes to change her hair color every so often, but this is the one that’s been around for a while. sofia hasn’t had dark hair since she was about thirteen years old, which is when she first dyed her hair from black to brown. since then, she slowly began to lighten it to where it is now.

when it comes to her sense of style, it’s very much inspired by model off duty. it includes a lot of denim, a lot of black, ankle boots, and sneakers. she’s a big fan of tote bags and is usually always seen with one ( since she’s always carrying around a camera, her laptop, and other little things ). it’s no surprise that she has a container in her closet full of them, but she of course, has her more luxury ones in her collection as well.

for the most part though, when she’s just lounging around her apartment, sofia is super casual. it’s fuzzy socks. it’s oversized tees that swallow her physique. there’s no makeup on her face. she has on her glasses and her hair is piled onto her head in the messiest of messy buns. she’s a huge fan of jewelry though and is hardly ever seen without rings on her fingers and her favorite necklace around her neck.

iii. personality.

vociferous, precisian, and beguiling : when it comes to her positive traits, most of it entails from her career on social media. prior to being on youtube, sofia was more on the quiet side and kept to herself, but since then especially with doing vlogs, she’s more comfortable being the one to start a conversation. she’s a big perfectionist, also stemming from her career, but it’s trickled into behind the camera as well. she doesn’t like to half ass anything, no matter what it may be. and finally, sofia is as charming as ever. she can charm the pants off of anything with a little eye glimmer and a hair flip, she’s got them in the bag.

advantageous, negligible, and censorious : as for her negative traits, sofia is advantageous in regard that she knows how to work people into believing that she’s the best choice for them. it’s how she’s gotten most of her sponsorships -- sometimes her manager jokes with her that she doesn’t really need him. sofia is super petty as well, which is actually bad -- she’s the girl who doesn’t let ignorant comments slip on her instagram or twitter, but sometimes all it does is get her into trouble with her public relations team. finally, sofia can be critical of people at times, even if she doesn’t mean it in a malicious way. maybe it stems from being analyzed constantly herself, but she can sometimes immediately regret it after it’s been said unless it’s someone that she doesn’t get along with.

iv. wanted plots.

i’ll have a wanted connections page up every soon with a couple of detailed plots that i’d like to have, but i’m always down for ( but not limited to ) enemies with benefits, ex friends, best friends, flirtationship, failed relationship, best friends, squad, almost relationship, good/bad influence, family friends, someone who appears on her channel, slow burn ( !!! ), workout buddies, neighbors, confidants, and above all else, chemistry !  

[patheticfrogarchive]

thesourraindrops replied to your post “idk if any of my followers keep up w youtube drama but hooo boy have i...”

Spill the tea I'm a YouTube drama slut

omg same, i love youtube drama so much its so entertaining

but basically casey did this like, half hour long interview w logan and i really dont know where i stand on it? like i think casey did a decent job of interviewing him, granted he could have gone harder on him but u can always go harder on someone, and i just. on one hand i agree w/ all the stuff logan was saying about how it is possible to learn and grow from past mistakes, and you shouldnt let smeones past define them necessarily, but on the other it seemed like he was doing his damn best to paint himself as a “oh poor me i messed up feel bad for me”. like idk if thats his intention or not but i genuinely can’t tell if hes being legit or not. 

like the whole bit where he was like “theres a difference between being CULTURALLY insensitive and just being plain insensitive”, i mean yeah theres a difference but why nitpick? at the end of the day, you were insensitive, offended a lot of people, and from what i know LOADs of japanese people say that he was culturally insensitive, and i dont think a white dude gets to decide what is and what isnt offensive to japanese culture

he also does this thing where hes like “im just a kid from ohio, im just a kid” and ok while he isnt 35 years old, hes also not a fucking kid. hes 23, a fully grown adult man who SHOULD know how to handle himself. hes not a kid, and i feel like hes pushing that narrative to make people feel bad for him. which is manipulative as hell

i can’t fault him for his reaction after he found the body. that shit is traumatizing and making jokes and laughing is, in my opinion, a perfectly normal coping response. hell, i was cracking jokes about my friend who passed away from suicide not very long after i found out, it was a way to cope. offensive? probably, but i wasn’t in the right mindset and i was doing whatever i could to make myself feel better. it bothers me how much people focus on the “u were laughing therefore ur evil” argument tbh

what i DO fault him for is willingly editing that footage and uploading it to youtube. they could have easily deleted it and then filmed a bit afterwards explaining what happened. i do think he had good intentions deep down somewhere about spreading a good message, but he just did it the completely wrong way

idk, i was talking about this w my friend last night and neither of us know where exactly to land on the whole thing? like i’m not a fan of the pauls, i think theyre obnoxious, self absorbed assholes who are awful role models for children, and i hate that theyre famous, but i also think it would actually be really nice to see someone genuinely learn from their fuck ups and truly become a better person by owning up to their mistakes and not making shitty excuses (like what i feel like logan is doing atm).

if u watch phillip defranco, i pretty much wholly agree with what he said on it, and he does a much better job of wording himself than me lmao

im just really interested to see where everything goes from here. i think the whole documentary thing is a really stupid idea, but if hes gonna do it at the very least he should make it free to watch on youtube and donate any ad revenue from it to charity (and prove it). the whole boxing thing that he and jake are doing w ksi and his brother is stupid too, plus ur gonna have to pay to watch it which is even dumber, its basically just some silly publicity thing. no matter who wins its gonna suck either way cause ksi is almost as equally annoying as logan paul imo

omg there was also the whole thing w the pauls dad, greg paul???? ive never seen a more embarrassing excuse for a father holy shit, apparently he assaulted some kid at a press conference, plus a while back in one of jakes vidoes he made out with this possibly underage girl while she was blindfolded??? it was weird, but it explains why the kids are so fucked lol

basically theres so much going on

[moviestorian]

In answer to your questions, Yes, I very much enjoyed Umbrella Academy. If you have the time it’s worth a watch. I’ve never seen Delicatessen but its going on my list! I agree Humour is probably my least favourite genre. I’ve been watching some youtube videos of the Mandela effect. Have you heard of this? Where people swear something happened but it never did. It started when people claimed they remembered Mandela dying in prison in the 80s, which never happened. 1/?

2/2 Apparently a lot of favourite film quotes are mandela effect. “ Luke, I’m not your father”, never said in star wars. It’s “ No, I’m your father” “ET Phone Home” is “ET Home phone” . My dad’s girlfriend swears when she saw the movie MASH the ending was different. I can’t find any reference to it on the internet at all. My question is do you have a mandela effect memory and which Queen member do you think you’re most like? I think Brian. You seem very intelligent and level-headed.

Perfect, I’ll bear it in mind when I start looking for new tv shows to watch. <3 Delicatessen is a reallly weird movie, super surreal, but I enjoyed that weirdness a lot - also cinematography was incredibly nice.

Yes, I would say that humour (especially romcoms and sitcoms - LOVE Fawlty Towers though) and sci-fi are my least often watched film genres. But if a film/show is good, it’s good, no matter what genre. :)))

I have heard about the Mandela effect indeed, in various contexts. I think it’s extremely fascinating and compelling, and it might be safe to assume that everybody experienced it at least once in their life. Some films do have alternative/multiple versions (same with shows, I noticed that Polish DVD editions of some recent BBC shows like War & Peace and Les Miserables are heavily edited and some scenes are cut out - imagine my confusion when I watched the original versions first, and then I’m rewatching with my family and some scenes I vividly remember are simply not there! I HATE IT when they do that), but normally you can find some info about that. This reminds me of what my mum told me about Polański’s Rosemary’s Baby - she remembers conversations with a lot of people who claimed to have seen the face of the titular baby, while it is, in fact, not shown on screen.

Overall I have very good visual memory, so it doesn’t happen to me very often, but I’m pretty certain I was waiting for a specific moment to take place in a movie, only to find out it’s not there. I can’t recall more details about the film in question, unfortunately. Perhaps it will come to mind later. :)

Not sure if it still counts as the Mandela Effect, but there are some memories from the times when I was a kid that I can’t seem to distinguish between them being real or merely my dreams. There was a fire that destroyed the chapel on the nearby graveyard, and for some reasons I have a memory of myself seeing those fire-consumed wooden beams and other stuff... And yet, I must’ve been very little (5 years old or younger)when that happen, and I don’t see why my parents would take me to the graveyard to see ruins of the chapel... Idk, it’s a very weird memory, I’m not sure it’s real, it’s entirely probable that it only happened in a dream and I convinced myself that it actually had happened.

Uuuuu that’s a nice question. :DDD Firstly, thanks for the compliment! <3 In fact, a lot of people have said so, that I mostly remind them of Brian (DEFINITELY not Freddie, I’m totally not that kind of a personality). :D I can see why, but I personally see myself as a Brian/Roger hybrid, with these two personalities constantly fighting for dominance. XD I have Brian’s academic aspirations, analytical mind, and pretty similar diplomatic approach in public speaking and problem-solving. I sometimes wish I cared less about things, the way Roger does (he plainly expresses his opinions, often in a blunt manner and I think he takes criticism a bit better than Brian - at least that’s my impression. I care way too much about what other people think). On the other hand, I’m pretty expressive and friendly and a friend said once that I make similar facial expressions to Roger’s (no, I don’t do that deliberately XD). 

With louder/more extrovert people I tend to be more like Brian, but with more quiet or shy people (or generally people I’m very close to, like my sister)I’m like Roger - smiley, chatty, expressive and grumpy.

I guess I also do have some glimpses of John, too, but at the same time I can’t say I really relate to him. This question reminds me that I made a similar experiment on my blog once, and most of my followers stated that they remind me of Brian. :D

What about you? Which member of Queen are you most alike? :D

TALK TO ME ABOUT QUEEN

[borntoslay]

Do you ever wear drag in public? Have you ever had trouble for it? I really admire your work a lot

First of all TY!!

It’s kind of a weird subject and the last time I wrote a story this long was when I talked about the first time I wore eyeliner 5 (???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???!!) years ago, so since I wrote that out so nicely + professionally, I will also write this story out nicely now as well.

I think since I wrote that story about eyeliner in 2012, there have been about 5 pivotal moments for me.

Halloween 2013

Halloween 2014

All of 2015

Early 2016

Late 2016–present

HALLOWEEN 2013

Since I’m such a tumbler girl a good chunk of yall might remember my Halloween 2013 moment since it was the first time I bought a wig and really tried doing a full face and it truly was such a MOMENT. Like literally life-changing. Up until that point I had only done eyeliner + was only starting to dabble in filling in my eyebrows… never touched foundation or primer (don’t judge me again Olivia it was a different time)—never even OWNED foundation or primer if that’s any indication… but this just felt like such a huge thing that I HAD to do, and so I bought everything I thought could help me from the clearance bins at drug stores and every day for like, a month, learned more and more about how to do things that every like, 11 year old knows how to do now: contour, define eye sockets, block out eyebrows, etc, and I finally went to school (like, equivalent to my junior year of college) like this:

And luckily, I live in the surprisingly liberal Hawaii, and I majored in a creative field so everyone was super open to it and even supportive. After Halloween 2013, I started contouring everything I could (for better or for worse… don’t judge me OLIVIA), and started wearing foundation and doing a simple, but full face every day for school. 2014 was the year I dyed my hair a different color every month (don’t do this by the way, I literally was bald at the end of the year), and by the time Halloween 2014 came around, I was working at my current place of employment (an advertising agency).

HALLOWEEN 2014

Again, because Hawaii is a liberal state and I now work in a creative field, everyone was very open to how my looks continued to change from month to month (I started in March 2014 and my hair went from brown to yellow to gray/silver to green to blonde again to red to maroon to pink, to pink with a ponytail, to blue with a ponytail, to black with a ponytail by October 2014), so I did 5 full days of Halloween at work, all different types of hair and makeup and therefore all different types of drag (again, for better or worse LOL), until Halloween day:

Oh my god my ROOM LMFAO Wow Queen You Live Like This LMFAO

ANYWAYS. So although I had a LOT of baby steps along the way, October 2014 was the first time I REALLY did drag. Luckily Adore was just on Drag Race earlier in the year and I learned about cinching the waist! LOL

(Adding onto the 2012 post I wrote mentioning my mom slowly learning to deal with whatever I did—she actually helped me find clothing AND PROP options for all 5 of the looks I did, went with me to help pick out + buy my first pair of HEELS, and even hand-tied the “meat” onto them while I rushed to finish my makeup that morning… I’m way up I feel blessed…)

My office was so supportive of this whole thing which lead to more and more drastic hair and makeup changes through the remainder of the year, that I basically entered 2015 like this

2015

As I mentioned earlier, I had to shave my entire head because my hair was completely damaged. Luckily, although I was bald as fuck, I had been investing on some cheap wigs towards the end of 2014 in anticipation of this, and so before the new year started, I had mapped out which colors I would for which month (it was sort of like, my thing), and went to work every single day with a full 20-30″ of hair, and a full beat, but with my normal body.

This is where it gets tricky, because I’m not sure if you would necessarily count this as “drag” because of my clothes and perceived body type, which is superficially cisgendered, HOWEVER, I literally had a FULL beat EVERY SINGLE DAY, matched my hair to whatever I was wearing (my goal was to hit every color combination possible throughout the year):

I even had like, “concepts” so like one day I decided to be a peacock

One day I decided to be the continuation to Telephone

”Discoverers’ Day”

“Personal growth through digitized romance” the week I joined Tinder + Grindr

”Weighed down and blue” (I realized late last year that I have seasonal depression!)

Here’s some Christmas looks I did at work during the week of Christmas:

Sometimes it’s wasn’t always a “concept” so much as just a color scheme:

In this case, the color scheme was the concept, in trying to match myself,

to commemorate the day I got a callback interview for my current job (after making 1 year):

Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that I did my hair + makeup a LOT in 2015 and learned + grew SO much in that year. You can literally see the difference between March 2015:

and August 2015:

So if you count this as “drag” (I always call what I do just “hair and makeup” because . idk), then yes, I went out to work (in town) with it every single day and which I have been blessed to never have received any real trouble with it, it can totally be scary going out with it, with ANY amount of something non-conforming. My hair is blonde right now and I wear it with a clip-in ponytail and I still always watch my back when I’m walking to my car, hold my breath when I step out to fill up gas, and am even apprehensive about taking in the trash while one of my neighbors drives by—and I’ve felt this same amount of fear back when I used that fucking washable marker under my eyes and went to school, or just wore a color that might’ve stood out just a LITTLE too much and had to catch the bus. It can all be fucking scary, NGL!

RuPaul says “Anybody who can step out of the house with a pair of heels and some lipstick on their lips is my hero.” and that’s exactly how I feel too.

Early 2016

So wrapping up as quickly as possible (since I spent a little too long reminiscing on 2015…), after an entire year of doing it every single day, I had decided to stop doing my hair + makeup because my hair had finally grown back, and after having a pretty rocky 2015 in my career, I really wanted to focus on my professionalism. Walking into my office at 10:30am because it took me from 6–10am to do my hair and makeup, lipsync to a relevant or themed song, and have a mini-photoshoot DAILY was kind of not ok. So I did “boy drag” basically for most of the year except for the couple of times I went out with my beautiful friends (especially my LGBT friends), who helped me to feel safe enough again to do so.

My favorite couple in the entire world got married back in April 2016 and so me being me, I annoyingly decided to upstage them both because they are probably 2 of my biggest supporters, and it was a gay wedding anyway!

So if we’re talking full body head-to-toe drag, this is actually technically only my second time doing drag. I continue to be blessed in that it was really well received and everyone was, as always, super supportive, and my friends loved it.

Late 2016–present

Which brings us to what I’m doing now. When I turned 24 in June, I just magically wanted to do like… EVERYTHING. LOL And one of them was, and I’ve mentioned in the past, to do YouTube again, possibly doing makeup on there. Again, I’m iffy in calling what I do “drag,” as throughout my time doing it, it’s always been primarily hair and makeup, going down to my chest at the lowest. I’ve started a sketchbook with concepts and ideas and “looks” and on the Saturdays or Sundays that I felt inspired to do so, I would create those looks, and put them on my Instagram.

The thing is that what I’ve been doing is what I’m REALLY interested in, but because I don’t have a social life anymore, I don’t do any of these in public, and because of that, I really don’t think I can consider this “drag,” as much as, what I’ve been calling it, “hair and makeup” LOL

Also, to answer your question as fully as possible, yes, unfortunately, I have had negative experiences while out in “drag.” My coworkers used to like going to the food places up the street, and in order to get to them, we would have to cross this busy intersection where these 2 very loud, VERY aggressive and VERY judgmental Christian protestors would camp out, and with my very bright yellow… or red, or blue, or pink, or lavender, or green, or FIRE, or literally any long hair in general, I was a VERY easy target for them, and they would point at me from across the street and start preaching to the entire city about how I was going to go to hell and that I must REPENT, that homosexuality is a SIN, that the lord HATED ME, that I should be ASHAMED and BOW DOWN BEFORE GOD…

…but the gag is, I’m Christian, and have been raised Christian all my life, further proof that they didn’t even read their favorite book, because they obviously did not see Matthew 7:1, “Judge not, lest ye be judged”… In 2015, there were days when my anxiety would be so bad that I would just make up a meeting I had to be at, or a job I just remembered a deadline for, just so I could turn around and run back to my office. Luckily, my coworkers care about me so much that we’ve stopped going there as much. The insane thing is that when I stopped doing full hair + makeup, or even when I stopped doing as bright colors, they stopped noticing me altogether, and would be pointing and yelling at others. God, I hate them.

The day I had the yellow/red hair (McDonald’s phone case) was a week they were filming Zac Efron’s new movie Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates outside my office, and so when I was walking from my parking lot to my office, there was a group of like, 12 men who were on the crew and they were immediately silent and just stared as this almost-6″ yellow… person… was just trying to make it past them to get to my office door literally 8 feet next to them, and while I walked past, one of them was like “…nice hair…” and they all started giggling and I was like ok (inside: kms)

The day I had the gray/orange color scheme, I had picked up dinner with my friend and was walking back to my office when this lady started running up behind us (mind you, it was in the dark, in the middle of town), and she said that her friend thought I was really hot, and, relieved that she wasn’t running up behind me to spit homophobic slurs, I said a gracious “omg thank you! I hope you have a great night!” and was about to keep heading towards my office, but was stopped again as she continued, “He wants to know if he can have your number…?” eventually implying that he was most likely a t-chaser and was looking to hook up later.

While we’re on the subject, and I’m sure all my hunties already know what I’m talking about, but t-chasers on dating/hookup apps are, to re-address the initial question, some of the scariest it can be at times. I was on Tinder/Grindr for about 8 months (with my pictures all being of me in “drag”) and I only went on about 5.5 dates because those 5 men were the ONLY ones who were interested in meeting ME; never ONCE sending me that mood-killing, “so… can I ask you something?” message. 4/5 of my dates were perfect gentlemen, and the 5th one who was a jerk was just a jerk in general, not because he fetishized me or anything like that. In fact, for the record, he was my DREAM MAN before I met him in person LOL

It’s not always horrible though. In fact, while the above stories do happen often, much more often then them, I will have strangers come up to me (and my anxiety kicks in and I’m like “welp. I guess this is the person who kills me…”), and they’re just SO full of support. Like when I was the Christmas tree, I went to grab lunch with my coworkers and this lady we walked past stopped me to tell me how amazing it was and how more amazing it would’ve been if it lit up, and so I turned it on, it lit up, and she was SLAYED LMFAO! And then we had to walk past her again while we were heading back to the office, and she was slayed all over again omg. God bless people like that.

SO. To finish answering your question, unfortunately, no, I don’t really wear drag in public anymore, unless it’s for something really special or I feel like it REALLY will be safe enough to do so. I really am blessed enough to have a really strong support system of people who, intentionally or not, want to make sure I’m safe, and will walk with me or do whatever they can to make it easier… I think this is why I love Hey Girl so much. It’s fucking scary out there! But we can make it easy if we lift each other!

I hope this answered your question… sorry it was so long, but I really haven’t documented much about my real life post-2013/2014, and a LOT has changed since then LOL! I have a sneaking suspicion that you might be the one who’s been sending me similar positive messages scattered throughout the years in regards to my makeup, and if you are the one who said they wanted to get into try it too, I really hope you do/have! Even if it’s, like me post-2016, for yourself. It’s an amazing art form, and EXTREMELY liberating, especially in today’s times. Sometimes you just have to do things because they’re important to YOU, not for commercial success.

[honeybellsurveys]

(-。-;

What is the easiest website to pass time on? Tumblr or youtube.  What’s the last place you left early, and what was your reason? I don’t remember.  Do you take your medications in the morning or at night? Mid day/afternoon. Would you rather visit London or Paris? Paris.

Have you ever bought a youtuber’s merch? Nope :-)

Pick a flavor: pumpkin or apple? Pumpkin.  Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Water.  What kind of milk do you usually use? Almond or cashew.  What is the best type of donut? Sour cream glaze.  What was your last great garage sale find? I haven’t been to a garage sale in years.  Do you like thrift stores? Yep. When was the last time you ran into someone that you didn’t want to see? Can’t remember.  Was anyone rude to you today? Nope.  What is your town known for? The giant lookout it has.  Who is your favorite set of twins on youtube? I don’t have a fav set of twins I'm not one of those girls lmao.  Do you like to watch DIY craft videos? Not really. What are you regretting right now? Nothing atm.  Who was the last person who was rude to you? Dunno. Would you ever let the barista at Starbucks make a random drink for you? Nah I don't even really like Starbucks. Have you ever used a fake name at Starbucks? No. Have you ever left a note in a library book? Nope. What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair?  Night. What is the worst job you’ve ever had? Working in a giant boring warehouse for my dad’s company all by myself.  What is the best job you’ve ever had?

Just a babysitter I guess lmao, I haven’t had many jobs.  What job do you want to have? Teacher :) What are you passionate about? Music. Have you ever tried vlogging, and if yes, did you stick with it? I haven’t and I won't.  ^Same question with blogging. Have you? Nope not unless Tumblr counts. 

Do you have to alter a lot of your clothes? No. What country do you most want to visit? Japan. Do you have chronic pain? No. If you go to church, what is your favorite thing about it? Nothing lmao. ^and what is your least favorite thing about it?

Idk, a lot of people in the church can be very judgemental.  Did you go to church this week?

Nah. What is something that’s bothering you right now? That I know I have to get up super early for class tmo.  Are you happy right this instant? I am very content, yes. What’s your favorite fall beverage? Chai latte or pumpkin spice cappuccino. 

Do you exercise daily? No hahaha.  What do you do for exercise? Shit all.  Is your room/house cluttered? Nope. Do you live in a house, condo, apartment, or dorm? Dorm. Were your college years the best years of your life? This is my first college year and so far it is.  What was your favorite class in high school? History.  Which class in high school did you hate the most? Math. Do you have a birthmark? If yes, what color is it? Nope. What color is your lava lamp? Don’t have one. Do you have an inspiration board? No but I have one filled with things that make me happy.  Where do you store old photos? Idk, on my phone? Do you have photos on the wall in your bedroom? Yep. Favorite scent for a candle? I love fall scents.  Would you ever film a youtube video with no make-up on and messy hair? I wouldn’t film one PEROIDT.

What is the most comfortable type of pants, in your opinion? I have these billowy homemade silk pants n they are for sure my most comfortable pants. Do you cry a lot? Yes, I have been calming down lately though.  Do you keep up to date with the latest technology? Yes.  Would you ever want to live in a big city, like New York or Chicago? Maybe, idk though.  What about a big city sounds appealing to you? How you have access to pretty much everything you could want there. Do you wish you had more money to do the things you want to do? Don’t we all.  Do you prefer college-ruled or wide-ruled? Whom? Pencils or pens? Pens. Favorite ink pen color? Red. What are you craving right now? Nothing. Do you have a sweet tooth? Sometimes . Do you need to lose weight? I could do with losing a few pounds but I don’t need to.  Do you need to gain weight? No.  Who is your favorite Lisa Frank character? I don’t have a fav.  Have you ever won a prize at the age guessing booth? The WHOM?

What’s your favorite movie that you remember seeing in the theater? I saw the new Halloween movie Sunday and I loved it!! What was the name of your very first imaginary friend? Link from tloz was my first imaginary friend, I never made him up but I would always say I was hanging with my boyfriend Link hehe.  Do you know anyone who has ten cats? No, sounds like a dream though. Have you ever had a cat? Yes I love them very much <3 Have you ever had a dog? Yep, miss her always.  Have you ever any other kind of animal? Fish, frogs, chickens, ducks and I had a rabbit for a short time too.  Have you ever had a pet rock? Nope I didn't go through that stage.  Which Olympic sport would you most like to be a pro in? Have you ever played this sport? Swimming and yes I used to swim competitively every summer for most of my childhood/ early teen years.  What were you voted in the senior class polls? Most likely to become famous and most likely to fall asleep in class haha.  Who was your favorite teacher in high school? My French n math teacher, I also really liked my bio teacher too, I was taught by lotsa awesome teachers.  Do you own a bobblehead? No. What’s on your desk? My Mac, keurig, a couple binder, a phone, a mug full of pens and pencils, a case of thumbtacks, a mug full of makeup brushes and other beauty tools and a glass of water lol.  Do you love someone who treats you like a piece of shit? Nope don’t love that.  Isn’t loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way horrible? Of course.  What’s your favorite DIY Halloween costume that you’ve seen? Not sure.  What is your favorite gender-neutral name? Alex or Lee.  Do you want to give your kids common names or unique names? A little bit of a mix.  What is your favorite type of braid? I have no idea what it’s called but I've been seeing this braid trending lately and it’s so beautiful.  What is your favorite spice? Cajun and curry.  Favorite Spice Girl? Idk. Favorite Cheetah Girl? ^ Backstreet Boys or *N Sync? *N Sync  Were you a boy band fan? Yep. What decade were you born in? 00. What is your favorite coffee shop? Harbour grounds or Tims.  What is your favorite tattoo that you’ve seen? Not sure, I got one today and i’n in mad love w/ it. What is something you have too many of? Clothes.  What collection are you thinking of starting? None rn. Do you collect anything now? If so, what? I collect crystals n weird/random trinkets I find. When was the last time you painted something? Last year during senior year. Do you have any disabilities? I have t1 diabetes if that counts.  Do you have any unique or hidden talents? Not really. Do people call you gifted? Sometimes, depends on who you're talking to about me. Do people call you unique? Yes, quite often.  Do you get bullied? No. Do you own a dreamcatcher? I have one back home.  What are five of your favorite stores at the mall? Dynamite, garage, the X-store, and I can’t think of two more I love oops.  When was the last time you went to Michael’s? Never been there.  Do you knit or crochet? Nope. Do you enter craft projects in your county’s fair? ^ What modes of transportation do you use? Car.  What is your least favorite chore? Not sure, probably washing dishes.  What is the best gift you have ever given someone? No idea.  What is the best gift you have ever received? My Mac book hehe. Have you ever made a decision that you regret? Not really, I am not someone with regrets.  Do you make your own greeting cards? No lmao. What color feather boas do you own? None. Do you use colored hangers? All mine are white.  Do you organize your clothes by color? I only do that with my underwear.  What time does your alarm go off in the morning? 8:30 mon, weds, fri n 7:40 tues n thurs. What was your favorite toy as a child? My n64 and gamecube ,barbie dream house and littlest pet shops.  What do you want to name your first child? Lucy :) List ten favorite girls names. Fuck no bAby. List ten favorite boys names. ^ What season do you want to get married in? Spring or summer I think, I kinda want an ethereal eleven wedding with lots of green nature.  Is your Pinterest cluttered? No it’s extremely organized haha. Are you a trendsetter? You could say that. Do you want to be a trendsetter? I’m indifferent.  What was the last great book you read? Not sure. Are you a free spirit? For sure.  Has anyone called you a free spirit? Yes. Do you get more compliments or insults? Compliments.  Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Probably.  What is your favorite insect? Orchid mantis.  What bugs scare you? Big spiders, maggots, earwigs and other grubs.  What was your favorite vacation? I loved Disney world but also had a great time in P.E.I this summer.  Who picked your name, your mom or your dad? They both agreed upon it after meeting someone with my name. What is your first and middle name? U ain’t need ta know.  What were some other names your parents were considering when they had you? Cece or Virgina lmao.  What are your siblings’ names? ^^ Do you own any Lularoe leggings? Nope. What was the last thing you bought online? A moisturizer from Sephora.  Do you enjoy public speaking? Not at all. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #468

“recollect me, darling, raise me to your lips  /  two undernourished egos  /  four rotating hips”

Have you ever seen a queen bee outside its hive? I wouldn't know. What comes to mind first, when I say “indie”? The music genre. Have you ever used Duolingo? I have not. Do you think number 13 is unlucky? No. Do you watch any old films? If so, name a few of your favourites. Through all the years in school and reading classic novels, we would usually watch the movie afterwards, so I've seen a good number and understand why they're classics, like The Outsiders, A Raisin in the Sun, Steel Magnolias... Who are some of your classic era film actors and actresses, if any? I don't know enough, honestly. Do you have any novelty ice cube trays? No. What radio station do you most often listen to? I don't listen to the radio. Have you ever been in a Catholic confessional? Yes, because I was raised Roman Catholic, and it was routine to go occasionally. Those things are so awful. Who was the last non-relative you rode in a vehicle with? Oh wow, I don't know. What movie are you looking forward to coming out? HOCUS POCUS 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! :') What color was the hair of the last person you kissed? HAHAHA he's gonna fuckin hate me for this. He has black hair, but with a bit of gray throughout already. What letter does your last name begin with? D. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yep. Do you regret it? Nah. Who was the last person to buy you a drink? You're talking like, a drink drink? In which case, my mother. Who was the last person to buy you dinner? Girt. How old is the oldest person you’ve dated? Idk exactly how old Juan is, but he's probably the oldest? Of the ages I actually remember, that'd be Girt; he'll be 28 next month. Have you ever found a bug in your food? omg noooooo Do you ever read things you wrote as a kid? What were you like? Fuck no, I'd cringe into oblivion. Your boyfriend's birthday is coming up, and you’re totally broke. What do you do? ... Was this written directed at me??? lmao I'm thinking of just trying to draw 2B from Nier: Automata since she's to him what Pyramid Head is to me, ha ha. Would you be content to turn out just like your mom? In most ways, no. If you could pick one topic for everyone in your country to learn more about, what would you pick? Uhhh... Well, it'd be boring as all fuck hell, but I guess politics. Be actually educated on what's going on in the country and vote more wisely. How do you feel about people your age having children? I'm 25. It's normal, and advisable before 30 anyway before the risk of birth defects and problematic pregnancies rise. When was the last time you were at a park? Jeez... the very beginning of this year, I wanna say? I was taking family pictures for someone. Do you feel like going to funerals helps you in the grieving process? I haven't been to nearly enough to know. Especially as an adult. How do you feel about the whole organic food craze? I'm not educated enough on this to have a proper opinion. Who was the last person you heard snore? My mom, at some point. Is there a TV show you’ve wanted to start watching but never gotten around to? Even though I don't really watch TV, there are some I'm interested in, like The Witcher. Have you ever worn something out in public that made other people stare at you? Oh god, I would avoid that so hard, so probably not. Do you ever make an effort to look stylish or fashionable? Or do you not care about that? I really don't care. I wear what's comfortable. When was the last time you were in denial about something? What about? Idk. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? If not, would you ever try wearing them? No, but I probably will for my hypothetical wedding. Is there any certain style of architecture you really enjoy? Yeah; Roman, for one. I should be able to list far more, having taken Art History, where architecture played a big part... When’s the last time you made the best of a bad situation? Hm, I dunno. If you watch Parks and Recreation, who is your favorite character? N/A Do you listen to Fall Out Boy? Yeah, they're great. Have you ever been skiing or snowboarding? No. Have you ever forged a note for something at school? No. Are you a YouTube addict? Oh, for sure. I'm always on there. Have you ever found a four leaf clover? Many, actually! It's funny, at our old place, the day my father abandoned my family, I found an actual PATCH of four-leaf clovers right outside. I doubt it meant anything, but it was still cool. From that year on, that spot always had lots of four-leaf ones. Are you good at lighting fires? I wouldn't know. I'm scared to. Name someone who is an excellent listener? Sara. <3 Would you mind living to 100 years old if you were in semi-decent health? Define "semi-decent." If I could still care for myself fine, then sure, I guess? 100 still seems pretty... bold for me, though. How did your parents meet one another? They were co-workers. When's the last time you got heartburn? What do you think caused it? I haven't had it in a while because I have to take a prescription antacid. It's embarrassing to admit, but it's because of my weight; chronic heartburn is common for people of my size. I know for sure that it's the culprit in my case, because when I lost a load of weight? It went away and stayed gone until I started gaining weight back. What's your favorite red fruit? Strawberriessss. Do you enjoy sour candies? If so, which ones? omfg yesssss. Give me like ANY sour candy. Would you want a chance to visit Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory? Ha, it's funny, the first thing that came to mind was hell yeah, so long as I could bring my camera. Can you imagine the photographs? Goddamn right I'd try some candy too, but I'm more interested in the art of it all, really. What is one quirk about each of your parents that you can't stand? Dad is easy: he repeats the FUCK out of himself. Like oh my god. He will cycle a conversation by saying the same exact thing so, so many times. As for Mom... I don't know about a quirk that I can't stand. Have you ever suffered from amnesia before? After I awoke from fainting and receiving a concussion, I did briefly. Like I couldn't remember what happened and was just crying, but it came back to me with time. Do you live with roommates? I live with my mother. Does your body feel older than it actually is? My body feels ancient. Were you always picked last in gym class? I wouldn't say last, but I wasn't a first pick, for sure. Has someone close to you ever passed away from cancer? Pets have. My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, but we were never close, I'd say. Which form of martial arts would you be most interested in trying? Ngl, I don't know almost any names and what moves they entail. Which type of shoe dominates your wardrobe? Converse. The last time you were high, what was it off of? Never been high. Is there a particular sport you follow on a regular basis? No. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? If they had no interest in getting one, I don't think I could. How would you react if your artwork became famous? Cry. A lot. But in a wonderful way. Have you ever seen an alligator in person? Yeah. I love those lil 'ole dinos. Most instances were at the zoo, but I actually very clearly remember seeing one in a watery ditch following Hurricane Floyd when the local zoo was destroyed. The alligators got out. What does the inside of your shower look like? It's a... normal tub/shower? What primary color is your Christmas tree? It's always green. When I have my own place, I reeeaaaally want a black one with faux snowy tips, white garland, and red ornaments. What is the stupidest thing you’ve done to a friend’s pet? Nothing? Have you ever seen a snake in the road? I have. Have you ever been to the Kentucky Derby? No. Have you ever heard a wolf howl? Not in person, no. When in a race, do you usually win? Ya girl doesn't race. I don't remember if I did any as a kid. Do you get sleepy when you ride in the car? Yes. How is your credit rating? I don't have one. Do you know anyone who lives in Hawaii? Yeah, a cousin of mine. What was the last phone conversation you had about? I was giving someone permission to talk to my mother about some financial stuff. How spicy do you like your food? Spicy, but not as hot as I used to enjoy. I've come to a point where I want to focus more on enjoying the food than the adrenaline of fighting the heat of what I'm eating. When was the last time you were in a very good mood? Two days ago when my boyfriend came over and we were watching some shows together. Who is at your house right now? Just Mom and me. Have you faced any of your fears lately? I mean, it's nothing major at all, but signing myself in and out of doctor appointments gives me anxiety. My mom used to do it for me, but I've been doing it for awhile now. Have you slept next to the last person you kissed? No. We both needed a nap the other day, but we've agreed sleeping together while my nightmares are being figured out is a very bad idea in case I lash out in my sleep and hurt him because I would fucking sob. Has your father met the boy you currently love? Yeah. But not everyone loves boys, you know. Are you closer with your siblings or cousins? Siblings. I barely ever see my cousins because my extended family doesn't live in NC. How many people have you really fell for? Three. Last thing to make you smile? Some stupid meme on Facebook lol. Does the person you like, like you too? Ye! Next event you’ll wear a dress to: Idk. Is there someone in your past you thought you’d never get over, and then did? Believe this shit or not... I haven't been thinking of Jason as much lately. I VERY much doubt I'll ever be totally over him, but I'm very much focused on and into my current boyfriend. How many arguments have you had with the last person you dated? We've actually never argued. Your girlfriend/boyfriend buys you flowers, you say? With our sense of humor, I'd probably say some shit like, "You killed them for me?" in an adoring voice, ha ha. Describe your life in one word? Dull. Did the last person you kiss have a tattoo? No, but he wants a sleeve tattoo AND I AM SO FUCKING FOR IT Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up? Nope.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #121

“it’s the rich man’s war, but it’s the poor that fight.”

Does your refrigerator have an ice maker or do you use ice cube trays?  Trays. Have you ever been searched by the cops?  No. Do you draw your name in the sand at the beach? I never have just because... why? Are any of your great-grandparents still alive? No. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?  I'd rather sleep with Sara any night. Did your parents try to push you into a certain degree or career path?  No.  I was blessed with parents who seriously did encourage me to do what I wanted. What’s your favorite film genre? Horror. Would you ever dye your hair silver? It's on my to-do list. What color is your refrigerator?  Black. What was the last thing you sent in the mail?  My closure letter to Jason. What cuisine is your favorite restaurant?  Italian. Have you ever visited hot springs?  No, but I'd love to. Who was the last person/thing to lick you?  My dog. If you had the chance to live anywhere in Europe, where would it be?  Germany. Do you have a favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?  No, I never watched it. Do you like candy canes?  Yeah. Do you prefer pads, tampons or something else? Tampons.  Pads feel like bloody diapers. Have you ever visited someone in prison? No. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? Sashimi. Are you the type of person to take naps, even if you’ve slept plenty? If I'm sad, stressed, or unbelievably bored, I sometimes will. Have you ever had casual sex? No, never would. Do you think it’s attractive for a man to wear eyeliner? I'm a sucker for that shit. Are you the kind of person who does not like talking about their past?  Nah, I'm open about the dark parts now. Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible?  Yeah, my brother had one. What size bed do you sleep on?  Queen. What sort of music did you listen to when you were in high school?  The same I do now, though I went through a more screamo phase. When was the last time you made out with somebody?  Years ago. What month of the year was your mother born?  August. Would you rather travel to Japan or Scotland?  SCOTLAND. Does your house have a porch/balcony?  We have a small front porch and a really big back one. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings?  Nicole that I know of, idk about Katie. Have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area?  No, but we've been a few hours away from some that were so large the smoke traveled here. Do you think age matters in friendship? Nope.  One of my closest friends is in his early 30s. Do you enjoy clubs? If so, which club do you enjoy going to the most? I've never been to one and I'm really not interested in going.  I can just imagine it being too loud and crowded. Do you take good care of your skin? Apparently not considering it's dry as fuck. Do you play any PC games? What is your favorite?  Not currently.  I loved WoW, but I'm not paying for the subscription when I could spend money on better things. What have you done to your room to make it cozy? Fill it with personal things. What is your favorite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times):  Hm... candy canes. Are there any television shows you own in entirety on DVD or VHS?  "Meerkat Manor." How far away from your house is the nearest gas station? Like two minutes. Have you ever been to SeaWo​rld?​​  As a kid, yes.  I never would as an adult because I don't support it.  You can't keep whales in a damn pool. How long did your last relationship last?  If you're talking about the last one that ended, like four months. Last person you watched a movie with?  Sara. Have you ever touched a cow?  Maybe? Do you call the ice cream topping “jimmies” or “sprinkles”?  Sprinkles. Do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships?  No real opinion.  If you're not ready for engagement but know you will be one day, sure, give one if you mean it. Do you plan on dressing up for Halloween this year?  Hopefully. Have you ever been on a subway?  No. What do you usually buy for snacks when you go to the cinema? Popcorn and a soda. Look to your left and name five things you can see. Water bottle, medicine basket, Illidan poster, crashed ship lamp, and my Silent Hill 3 poster. Do you like having your lip softly bitten when you’re kissing? Yes. Have you ever been on a boat?  Yep. Do you have or want any piercings? I have five, but I want my right nostril and collarbones pierced, plus loads more in my ears. Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed?  Nope, never will.  Skin cancer doesn't sound fun, nor does having to keep exposing myself to one to maintain a tan. Do you trust a lot of people? No. Do you have both a loud side and a quiet side? Yes. If you had to save one thing from your burning house, what would it be? Assuming Mom and Nicole are already out, my dog. What would you want your last words to be if you could choose them?  I don't know, haven't thought of it.  Guessing my family's there, in that case I'd want them to be "I love you so much." Can you sleep with the light on?  Only if I'm seriously tired. Would you ever have a bird as a pet?  Realistically, nah.  I wouldn't be able to handle to likely noise. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? Not to my knowledge. Do you like canopy beds? YESSSSS. What is your favorite animated movie? Probably "The Lion King." Have you ever been 'violated'?  I felt violated when Girt tried to make out with me when I in no way wanted it.  He for a second tried following me as I pulled away, and that's when I really felt violated. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair?  No, disgusting.  There's trashcans for a reason. Would you rather open a used clothing store or an antique store?  An antique store would be cool. Magenta, aqua, or coral?  Coral. Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer?  Honestly, nature, but for income's sake, I'm aiming to be a wedding photographer.  I'd love both, though. Have you ever had an ulcer?  No. Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school?  In kindergarten, I was running for the trashcan and threw up on the floor.  Whoops. What is your favorite type of donut? Cake and glazed. Have you ever walked through a labyrinth? No. Do you like avocado?  EW. What is your favorite kind of bear?  Pandas. If you have any piercings or tattoos, do you remember the name of the person who did them?  June Bugg did one of my tattoos.  I don't remember the others. Do you do that typical girl thing out in public where you have to have someone come into the bathroom with you? No, I'll go alone. What does your dad look like?  Super tan, black hair that's mostly gray by now, connected beard and mustache, brown eyes, tall. Do you like chicken soup? Not really. Do you like deviled eggs? NO EW. Do you keep your fingers on the home keys when you type?  Yes. What would you name your future son?  Probably Severin. When was the last time you used a regular telephone?  Been yeeeaaars.Do you like the moon or sun more?  The moon. Do you think dimples are ugly? Personally think they're real cute. Has your boyfriend/girlfriend ever stayed up with you all night? Not my current girlfriend, but an ex. Are you a paranoid person? Yup. Have you ever been in an inflatable bouncy house?  Yeah. Have you ever seen a nun in public?  No. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek?  Sara. Have you ever played in a waterfall?  No. What job would you NEVER take, even as a last resort?  Prostitution, for one. Who was the last person you sat beside at a restaurant?  Sara. Have you used Limewire before? Ha ha yeah. Is the taste of alcohol appealing to you?  Noooo.  If I ever drink, it has to be fruity and cover the taste well. What’d you last look up on YouTube?  A KittyKatGaming video because I knew Mark was in it lmao. Would you ever get a tattoo sleeve?  FUCK YES I WOULD.  I'm already planning on dedicating my entire right arm to things that relate to my recovery, so I could kinda design it into a sleeve. Do you have appreciation for graffiti?  It can be gorgeous and super creative.  Personally don't mind graffiti if it's not vandalizing a public-public place and isn't offensive. If you could learn a superpower in exchange for your memory would you do it? Definitely not. Do you know any TV shows’ theme songs by heart? Which ones? "That '70s Show" and "Supernatural." Have you ever gotten stitches? Twice. What’s your favorite music video at the moment?  "Cool Patrol" by NSP will always be the answer to this. Your take on one-night stands? Are they okay?  It's a no from me. Have you ever had sex outside? No. Have you ever needed to call the police? No. How do you feel about kettle cooked chips?  Ew. What strange food combinations do you thoroughly enjoy? My dad loves waffles with peanut butter and syrup, so I tried it when I was young.  It's AMAZING. Would you considered yourself to be well-exposed to life or sheltered?  Too exposed. If you’re in a relationship, how long have you been dating?  Six months. Have you ever played the game Halo?  No. Have you ever had to learn lines for a play/skit/movie?  Not that I remember. Can any of your friends sing very well?  Sara has a gorgeous voice. Have you ever been attacked by an animal?  No. Who did you dance with last?  Colleen. Can you speak in different accents?  British. Has anyone ever aimed a gun at you?  No. Have you ever been through a natural disaster?  Hurricanes. Have you ever been in a parade?  No. Have you ever had a dream where you could understand a foreign language?  No. Have you ever owned a beanbag chair?  Maybe? Are you a fan of retro things?  YES. Have you ever used pastels? Yes. Who was the last person you flipped off? Probably Colleen or Chelsea playfully. Would you consider yourself to be loyal? Very. Who was the last person you shared a bed with? Sara. Do you know anyone who has been abused?  Yes. What is your brother’s name?  Robert/Bobby. Did you ever go to daycare as a kid?  VERY briefly.  One of the adults hit me simply for going into the wrong room. Have you ever experienced a medical emergency?  Yes, when I passed out and got a concussion plus a deep wound in my chin.  And when I overdosed. Do you know anyone who has been to prison?  I don't think so. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads?  Yes. How many burners does your stove have?  Four. When you go to a restaurant, do you prefer to sit at a booth or a table?  Booth. What’s something you think everyone should do/experience at least once in their life?  A different country.  Working towards that. What is the last compliment you received?  That my singing was pretty. /v\ Do you shower facing the water or away from it?  Away. Do you wash your body or hair first?  Hair. Do you put your name on your food coverings?  No. What is the most daring thing you’ve ever done?  Fly alone. Have you ever given to any charities?  Yes. What have you created that you are most proud of?  Some, imo, interesting OCs that I love like chilren. Who was your favorite Disney princess as a child?  Ariel. When did you do your first illegal activity?  When I was in middle school, downloading music. When did you lose your virginity?  I don't remember the age because at the time I didn't consider my virginity lost.  I'd guess 17-18. Do you like your boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents?  I LOVE THEM. Are you taller than your mom?  She's less than an inch taller than me. Where did you get your last bruise/cut from?  Bruise from working out on the floor, cut, idk. Is anyone over-protective over you?  Not really.  Mom's pretty protective, but not overly, I'd say. Have you ever had to call the cops on someone? No. Are your parents divorced?  Yes. Who do you think is the most attractive actor?  Johnny Depp. Are you good at wrapping presents?  NOOOOOO. Who were the last two boys to text you?  Dad and Girt. Are there certain things that can’t be joked about with you?  Yep. Have you ever read the Hunger Games series?  I read the first book. Are your lips soft?  Everyone who's kissed me has told me so, yet I think they're dry as fuck?? Your thoughts of long distance relationship?  Being in one, they're definitely hard, but SO damn worth it for when you actually see the person.  I think it's true that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Do you drink regular or diet sodas?  Regular, diet gives me a headache.