#and you're like OH WOW MY DAD WANTED TO BE A BASKETBALL PLAYER AND HE THINKS ITS A GOOD IDEA SO I SHOULD BE ONE

[cluescorner]

I want to raise this man from the dead

Crepus Ragnvindr is lucky he’s dead because otherwise he would have to put up with the shenanigans I do with the other sus characters in the game. Like, I already bother Cyrus and Timaeus and the Fatui in Mondstadt a lot trying to figure out wtf those guys know. The last thing Mondstadt needs is another sus NPC present, ESPECIALLY given all the questions I have for him. 

Like, were you a harbinger or just a shady dude? Was it Dottore who gave you the delusion directly? Did you know that Kaeya was from Khaenri’ah and if not what did you think was going on? What was your relationship with the Knights, did you idolize them as much as your son or did you realize that they were as susceptible to corruption as anyone else as you grew old? And why did you let your son join the organization if you knew how effed up it was? ON THAT NOTE WHY TF WAS DILUC ALLOWED TO BECOME A CAPTAIN AT THE AGE OF 14?? SIR I GENERALLY THINK YOU WERE PROBABLY A DECENT DAD WHO TRIED HIS BEST BUT LIKE WTF IS UP WITH THAT DECISION SPECIFICALLY??? 

[marvins-linguinie]

steve and eddie are holding hands, sitting in front of the christmas tree.

an old christmas song plays on the record player.

eddie hates decorating, but steve forced him to help, and it looks incredible.

they're having a moment.

that is, until dustin bursts through the door, the rest of the party following him

dustin: TELL LUCAS TO STOP SAYING THE EARTH IS FLAT.

steve: oh my god-

lucas: WE DON'T HAVE EVIDENCE THAT IT IS-

max: I WILL DUMP YOU FOR THE 50TH TIME THIS MONTH. YOU ARE THE DUMBEST PERSON I HAVE EVER MET.

will: guys, let's stop fighti-

dustin: TELL LUCAS TO STOP BEING A DUMBASS

lucas: I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CALLS YOUR 'SUZIE-POO' EVERY 4 TO 6 BUSINESS DAYS.

el: it looks very pretty in here.

eddie: thanks el-

dustin: SHE'S BUSY

lucas: YEAH, I BET SHE IS

max: you want to know why im about to be busy?

lucas: why?

max: because im about to dig both of your graves.

steve: OKAY, SINCLAIR?

lucas: yeah?

steve: is a basketball spherical?

lucas: what?

steve: is a basketball round?

lucas: yeah

steve: think of the earth like.. a blue basketball.

dustin: thank you.

steve: get out.

the kids leave, slamming the door on their way out.

eddie: how do you have so much patience?

steve: im in a christmasy mood.

eddie: did you see my list?

steve: what?

eddie: my christmas list. did you see it?

steve: what's a christmas list?

eddie: what do you mean? the presents that you want, you write down, and... oh no. steve, have you ever made a christmas list?

steve: no?

eddie, handing him a piece of paper and a pencil: everything that you want for christmas, write it down.

steve: um, okay.

after steve's done, he hands it to eddie.

there's nothing on the paper.

eddie: there's nothing on here.

steve: i already have everything i want.

eddie: while that's very sweet and flattering, WRITE A PRESENT DOWN. ONE. WRITE AT LEAST ONE.

steve: a ring.

eddie: HUH?

steve: like, one of your rings.

eddie: oh-

steve: and, then i want you to propose.

eddie: HUH?

steve: should i write that down?

eddie: WH- I- ST- H- UH- UM- I- WOW.

steve: you said what i wanted. that's what i want.

~skip to christmas morning~

after all the kids open their gifts, steve starts to open his (after eddie insists)

a pair of socks, and a bunch of shirts (that say #1 dad on them. from the kids)

steve: where is it?

eddie: where is what?

steve: don't mess around with me, munson.

eddie: im not messing around.

steve: eddie. you forgot?

eddie: oh, you mean that? no, i didn't forget.

robin: what are we talking about?

eddie: check in the socks, steve.

steve flips the socks inside out, and a ring flies out.

eddie: there.

steve: ask me.

eddie: i have to ask?

steve: ASK ME, EDDIE.

mike: WOAH, HOLD ON-

dustin: EDDIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

max: im going to vomit.

el: what is he doing?

robin: OH MY GOD!

nancy: FINALLY!

eddie: will you um..

dustin: DON'T YOU DARE FINISH THAT QUESTION

eddie: marry me?

steve: yes, i will marry you

eddie: i thought you were going to say no for a second-

dustin, mike, and lucas start screaming.

steve: SHUT UP

dustin: WHYYYY?

mike: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?

lucas: WHAT ARE WE SCREAMING ABOUT?

dustin is chosen to be the flower boy at their wedding, just because of that, along with mike, of course.

[reveluving]

meeting you ; andy barber x reader

summary: the last thing he'd expect Jacob to join is the basketball club, but soon he learns why and frankly, he’s not opposed to it.

warnings: meet-cute fluff + ‘kink’ mentioned once(!)

a/n: wow! a formal format! inspired by a vid of jaeden playing basketball and the 'handsome tigers' show (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ let me know what y’all think & don’t forget to leave some sugar <3

˚ · . series m.list

'She's the 'only teacher most of them can tolerate at the crack of dawn',' ;

It's been over a week since the wondrous progress in the Barber's relationship that night and, Andy has yet to know more about Ms (L/N). He continued to wonder what was so special about the literature teacher.

Seems like the universe’s been listening to him too.

It's been an hour since they had their dinner and Andy's finishing up some work in the living room for a change. He had the television's volume on low to fill the silence. One email, in particular, had him scowling, mostly because of its sheer informality; he didn't even notice his son walking down the stairs.

Jacob waited and waited, contemplating whether or not it was a good idea to speak when something was clearly bothering his dad.

Sensing a pair of eyes in his direction, he thanked the heavens for giving him some sort of break.

"Hey Jake, just give me a sec," He closed the tab before leaning his side against the edge of the couch, "Alright what's up?"

"So um," Jacob cleared his throat, "Can I stay back in school a little longer tomorrow?" Andy's face remained neutral, but deep down, he's in suspense.

"Got a project you gotta work on?" Interested, he leaves his laptop on 'sleep mode' before beckoning the teen to sit next to him.

"No... I uh," He paused before passing his dad the flyer he had behind his back. Andy, with great suspicion, took it out of his hands before examining the paper. He blinks owlishly.

"You're joining the basketball team?" Just when he thought he couldn't be any more surprised. He hasn't shown interest in basketball in forever!

Jacob quickly shook his head.

"No no! Well, kinda? Here," He leaned in and pointed at a text, specifically, below the 'players' part.

Other Position(s): Manager

Oh?

"I don't see why not," Andy didn't see the surprise in his son's face, too busy noticing the familiar name at the very bottom.

For more enquires, contact:

Mr Fury (Coach): xxx

Ms (L/N) (Club Advisor): xxx

Ohh. So, she's in charge of the basketball club, too.

"But," Jacob stiffened, "Make sure to text me whenever you're done and on your way home," Simultaneously, he relaxes, and just like that, the grateful smile on his face was enough to make Andy forget about the stupid email from earlier.

Okay, well, he may or may not have a motive for his decision.

Surely, that teacher of his isn't that big of a deal, right?

Alas, he spoke way too soon, as he was about to find out the next day.

It was one of his first slow days, and thank goodness, too. Andy hasn't been able to get ahold of Jacob since he last texted him an hour ago. Sure, he's probably busy focusing on that club of his, but how could he not worry?

"Hey man, you good?" He looked up from his phone to find Sam, one of his colleagues that he doesn't mind hanging out with even after work.

"Not really. Jacob hasn't answered my text for a while," Sam hummed, packing up his necessities.

"Is he a part of a school club?"

"No, not yet, at least. He said he wanted to check out the basketball club practice today,"

"Oh, hey, my nephews are part of the club too! AJ and Cass," Ah, now it's all coming together. AJ is Jacob's first friend before eventually meeting his younger brother on their way home, "You ain't gotta worry, man. Their coach's hawk-eyed so the last thing those boys would want is to give him a reason to get mad,"

Andy pursed his lips.

"But, with (Y/N) around, he'll probably soften up before he can even do that," Andy straightened in his seat at the mention of her name.

"Ms (L/N)?"

"Yeah, (H/C) hair, (E/C) eyes, not so tall,"  Andy probably seemed lost since Sam stopped arranging his bag when he didn’t receive an answer, "Y-you don't know her?"

"Jacob's mentioned her a couple of times, but other than that, no," He crossed his arms, disliking the way that he's totally in the dark about this — about her.

"Sounds about right. Anyone studying English literature in Reve High would mention her name at least once," Sam shrugged as if it's a normal occurrence.

"Any particular reason why?" Andy pressed on, unaware of the text that came in minutes ago. Sam snorted.

"Why wouldn't anyone bring her up? If you're a student of hers, they'd say she's awesome or laidback or," He chuckled, remembering AJ's comment from word to word, "She's the 'only teacher most of them can tolerate at the crack of dawn',"

Andy couldn't help with the amusement on his face.

"But, if you're asking as a stranger who's interested," He raised his brows at his suggestive remark, "Then I'd say she's the whole package,"

Oh, so she's not a carbon copy of Jacob's fifty-something-year-old classroom teacher?

Sam didn't bother continuing, finding the curious yet frustrated look in the attorney's face hilarious.

"Look, I'm not spoiling anything. She's just a really good friend of Sarah and I,"

"She sounds like the school's favourite,"

"Oh, I'd say she's the town's favourite. Well, most of the town's favourite," He looked around before leaning in close, "Some moms find her iffy but it's just 'cause their man talks a lot about her, too,"

Ooh. Those kinds of people.

"I'm surprised you haven't even seen her, though, considering that she lives closer to you than us," He zipped up his bag, "But, you could in a bit. You can check up on your kid and meet her at the same time,"

Huh. Not a bad idea, Wilson.

"But," ?

"Fury's a bit of a grouch so yeah,"

Eh, well, that's not an issue.

"We’ll see,"

What he really meant was 'absolutely'.

He wouldn’t mind waiting in the car but what bothered him was the lack of replies from his boy. Just once after Sam left but that was it.

Again, he knows he shouldn’t assume the worse but Jacob had to understand where this was coming from. So, even after checking a couple of emails and no indication of Jacob anywhere, he gave in to his guts and entered the school compounds.

"Excuse me," The lady behind the desk was clearly annoyed by the interruption. That is until she laid her eyes on him and just like that, she leaned forward and... batted her eyelashes.

He nearly cringed out of instinct.

"Yes, sir?" She purred and almost immediately, he wanted to turn around and leave.

For Jacob.

"I'm here to see my son, he's at the gym," He explained in his no-nonsense tone.

"Of course, may I have your I.D?" He passed her his card and looked anywhere but her as she keyed in the necessary on the computer, "Alright, sir, I can walk you to the gym if you'd li-"

"No, thank you," He answered sharply before making his move to his location as soon as she gave him his I.D back. He did, however, enjoy the dejection in her face.

Thank goodness for that tour during Jacob's registration day.

He didn't have to walk very long before the gym came into sight. The sounds of shoes squeaking and basketballs slamming gave it away, too.

Though, he's not entirely sure what he's nervous about.

Or, he just doesn't want to acknowledge what he's nervous about.

Nonetheless, he pushed the door open, only to spot three people observing from one side. They had their backs turned to him, but Andy could immediately recognize the one of the right — Jacob.

"Alright, move it. Hit the showers, then come back for each of your statuses," The first guy has to be Coach Fury, judging by the way he barked out his orders.

He didn't even have the time to time speculate the person — the lady that stood in between them before Jacob turned around, noticing his dad at the door.

"Dad?" Simultaneously, you and Coach Fury followed his gaze and holy shit.

You were not ready to see such a hunk of a man. In business attire.

Unbeknownst to you, Andy was checking you out just as much. Whatever mental image he had based on Sam's descriptions were nothing compared to the real you. Hell, he finally understood why you were the talk of the school, nay, town!

You’re probably in your mid-to-late twenties. Your captivating (E/C) eyes — full of wonder, kindness and dare he say, enthrallment as they complemented your (S/C) skin. Suited up in your white tracksuit that nearly yet perfectly accentuated your curves. 

You’re not what he expected, and in the best way possible, mind you.

Now's not the good time to be ogling at his son's teacher, though, but damn, what he wouldn’t give to-

"Can I help you?" Andy's eyes narrowed at the authoritative tone he's received from the man Sam warned about. No matter, he's not intimidated by the older man. Not even with the scar on his left eye.

"I'm here to see my son, Jacob," He replied, biting back a snarky remark that would've thrown you or Jacob off. The two stared down at each other for who knows how long but was de-escalated just as quick when a member, possibly the captain, cautiously approached Fury.

"Coach, the status report...?" He showed him the clipboard, albeit, shaking at the sudden attention for interrupting, or to you and Jacob, saving the situation. Fury clicked his tongue before turning to Jacob.

"Appreciate your time, Barber," He patted the teen's shoulder and followed the captain elsewhere, but not before giving Andy the stink-eye. Andy seemed much more indifferent, but Jacob knew his father all too well. He could only hope that wasn't a sign of disapproval of joining the club.

"I'm so sorry about that," You sighed at his behaviour before smiling up at the man before you, "Nick’s always been wary of new faces, especially when he’s in coach mode,” 

“No harm done,” He waved the apology off. It’s not like you’re the one who offended him, so why were you saying sorry on his behalf? Still, he couldn’t help but take a liking to your euphonious voice, “I had to stop by ‘cause Jake didn’t answer my texts for a while when I clearly told him to yesterday,”

Despite the hint of annoyance in his tone, he was clearly anxious about his whereabouts. As he repeated time and time again, he’s just very worried about his boy. 

“Sorry, dad,” Jacob scratched the back of his hand, embarrassed that it’s not just him he's scolding, but you as well, “I got a little too into the practice session,” It’s times like these that Andy couldn’t help but feel bad but his constant worries were inevitable. 

“He’s quite the team player, even if he’s not playing,” You chimed in, hoping his dad would let him off the hook. You felt partially responsible since you were the one showing him the ropes, “I’ve never seen anyone so enthusiastic to learn about the manager position until he came in. I’d say he'll be an excellent addition to the team. Of course, that’s up to him if he’s truly interested in joining the club,”

Andy clearly saw how grateful Jacob was for your appreciation and thought to himself for a moment. 

“Can I speak to you for a moment, Ms (L/N)?” Shit. Maybe you shouldn’t have opened your mouth, “It’s nothing serious, don’t worry,”

Nope, that didn’t help at all.

“Ah, s-sure,” You cursed at yourself for stuttering. Even Jacob’s scared for you.

“Jake, you go ahead and hang out with your friends. I won’t be long,” He knew better than to argue so he glanced at you for a second with an expression that seemed to say ‘sorry’ before leaving the two of you to your discussion. You clasped your hands, hoping to control your rapidly beating heart.

“Sorry,” You didn’t expect him to apologize so he took your silence as an opportunity to continue, “Parental anxiety and whatnot,” You knew there was more to the story but you’re in no position to ask.

“Understandable, Mr Barber,” You nodded, “I hope you’re not angry at him, though,”

You and Andy watched as Jacob listened to Cass, AJ and a few other members attentively, stifling their laughs when one of his friends were called out by Coach Fury for disrupting.

“I didn’t think he’d be interested in a sports club, let alone basketball,” You admitted, “He’s always been the shy type in literature class but he asks questions after, so I’m not too worried about his performance,”

It’s amazing how Andy felt the need to tell you the story from A to Z, despite only knowing you for less than five minutes.

No, don't be making rash decisions, Andrew.

“Speaking of literature class,” He turned his full body to you, prompting you to do the same, although you had to look up a little and truthfully, something about the situation stirred inside him. Not a bad feeling, just very... different? 

It's his newfound kink but shh he doesn’t know that yet-

“A certain someone has been speaking highly of your class,” If you weren’t bashful enough for being in his presence, you are now.

“Which Wilson decided to open their mouth?” You groaned through your hands.

“Hey, I could be talking about Jacob, for all you know. But, I will say that he's quite the blabbermouth,” He hinted, hoping you’d catch it right away.

“Of course it’s Sam who told you,” You rolled your eyes. His sister was a total opposite so there’s no denying that he’s the culprit, and Jacob plus ‘blabbermouth’ didn’t seem right either, “It’s my responsibility, isn’t it? I want them to enjoy the subject as much as I do, the same goes for this club. Jacob may not know a lot about the knowledge behind it but so did I. So... as a faculty advisor, as long as he’s willing to learn, I shouldn’t give up on him,” 

Who knew you were able to coax a smile out of him without even trying? Damn, and that passion of yours, too? 

“He knows, he just doesn’t remember,” He looked straight ahead — at you, though he wasn’t focusing and instead, reminisced little Jacob and his sudden infatuation for basketball at one point. A point where the family felt peace. 

Boy, you didn’t like how he grew quiet but you understood that he’s not used to this... vulnerable moment. So, you were able to think fast.

“Well, then I’ll gladly help him the best I can. Who knows, I might even learn a thing or two, too,” You knew he acknowledge the ambiguity in your sentence and yet, he didn’t seem to mind. 

“Andrew, but call me Andy,”

Now, of course, you calling him Mr Barber is quite the treat but he's able to keep it together.

For now.

He offered you his hand, “Again, I’m really sorry for earlier,” It was hard for him to not notice the way your small hand fit into his massive one, though.

“(Y/N), and no apologies needed,” Coincidentally, the team dispersed, officially ending the day. Although, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a tad disappointed. You were starting to enjoy Andy’s company but also ashamed for thinking you had a chance with him. 

Okay, you might've peeped the lack of a wedding band on his finger but that's besides the point.

Still, you wanted this relationship to flourish. If not for you, then for their new and hopefully improved lives.

“(L/N),” Fury called you over, waving the thick folder that you'd need to sort out soon.

“Well, that’s my cue,” You gave him an apologetic smile for having to cut the conversation short before grinning at Jacob, approaching the two of you with less apprehension, “Hope today’s session was beneficial to you, Jacob. Let me or Mrs May know if you’re up for the club or not, okay?”

“I will, thanks, Ms (L/N),” Andy hasn’t felt this sense of calm but he could only hope to feel more of it in the near future. As much as he’d like to see you and Jacob interact so naturally the same way you did with him, he didn’t want you feel to Fury’s wrath for stalling. 

“Next time, then?” He tested the waters, and thank goodness he did.

“Next time,” You gave him a thumbs-up before waving at the two, “Get home safely, you two!” They watched her interact with the hard-headed teacher in charge. There’s honestly something so comical about the dynamics between the two.

Andy and (Y/N)’s will be a lot more sweet & spicy later on but let’s not talk about that yet-

“C’mon, let’s just order dinner tonight. Your pick,” The two head out together as Andy listened to what tasks his son has done so far. Judging by the way his eyes lit up and how he even bid goodbye to his friends, including his newest ones, on their way to the car, Andy knew he was far from done.

With (Y/N) around, too?

Well, he’s not opposed to it, to be honest.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

taglist: @wanniiieeee @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @0mrs-evans0 @sophiaedits @innerblizzardbird @knifevsstageprop @marvelmenwhore @nasawho @lazysheepperfection

[dmgloom]

Okay it’s wonderful how this is almost the same as my own screaming, I’ll add my notes here, too : D

“maybe the guy only paid for a D“

oh wow we are right into noteville with hardly any setup at all.

oh man, get that white knighting on. uuuggggghhh I hate this kid already.

those are some super dry papers. Oh gawd. dead mom!?

EVEN THE ANIME DIDN'T HAVE A DEAD MOM! AND THAT'S LIKE, ANIME'S ENTIRE THING

tell me he brings his mom back to life. and it just segues into FMA.

hahaha why are there marbles here.

what was that pause, man? screaming wait lemme check on that okay yes screaming Willem Dafoe is wasted on this.

"I don't have a pen" If there isn't a pen in one of those billion jars

that is a sharp friggin ladder

Rule 64. granted, there were more rules in the bump cards, so fine.

...why do you have to look up the name of the guy who killed your mom, bro? maybe you're just being prudent. gotta get that face right. I'll give it to you. (or maybe you’re setting up the last scene, because really there’s no reason to do this. Just google his stupid face.)

I'm half expecting these basketball players to break out into song.

"I can't tell you" "but I have boobs." "Yeah okay."

it's a good thing your crush is a sociopath, Righto.

like, Misa was a sociopath, but she came after him. Discount Bella Swan here was just hanging around Nope, that's not fair, she's better directed than Bella Swan. swann? Oh good, we're skipping most of the smooching.

oh jeez. she said it. "they're a bunch of sheep" go home.

(we didn’t skip the smooching)

THAT IS NOT IN ANY FRIGGIN DICTIONARY.

wait is she able to write names? that's kind of a major thing to gloss over, considering what you've been explaining, movie.

...why are all these people dead.

Okay I really thought he crushed the phone receiver and it burst into candy.

Let's talk about the murder we did in school.

okay, I like that quite a bit better. "You can try. My name has four letters, the farthest anyone has ever gotten is two." "Hey man kill your dad."

hahaha, it looked like Dad was about to fall over dead with that weird expression.

though Light saying he's proud of him would be cause for death. "Nothing's going to change once I wake up" Good job, that's basically a death sentence for Dad.

"I'm basically Kira, my guy" How does killing L stop anything.

Okay L, go crazy.

did they just... not find the book?

there we go. A top hat, though.

I kind of want the book to have been in the hat. I mean, you got all that space.

Ryuk you are the best. huh. an Ouroboros. Maybe my prediction about this turning into FMA isn't too far off.

pipes in an underground basement. Man, if there isn't a creepy blonde dude at the end of this.

She already admitted to killing the FBI guys? what do you think she was apologizing for?

the heck are you doing, Light? Just burn the page?

Hmm, it didn't really establish it, but he seems to be copying her handwriting. YOU JUST RAN PAST AN ON-FIRE BARREL.

Random passer-by "Lord Kira"

"Let us die together" -these guys, I bet

"take it back"? who are you dealing with, buddy? "I'd like to hold on, but it's a shame my heart stops at midnight" Also, do we even know if conditionals are allowed? HAHAHA, if she grabs the book.

the page landed in a different burning barrel. Apparently they got their barrels from the 90s, when they were all on fire.

I was hoping for "Death Note 2: Electric Boogaloo" featuring Random rainy dock guy.

"Behold my genius plan" "sort of"

I’m gonna watch the horrible Death Note on Vimeo because I refuse to let Netflix know that I watched it. I’m going in with the mindset that this is like an Abridged movie version of the series to see if that makes it any less awful.