#and you wanna keep doing this??? NAAAH

[thetorturedbutchdepartment]

i’m sorry but i don’t do situationships either you marry me or nothing’s gonna happen

[mariacrow]

hello my fellow ratchet apologist!! love your works! 🫶🏼🫶🏼

do you think you could write some sweet and cute sleeping hcs with Ratchet? I just wanna lay on him or him lay on me <3

(ps. this is ur opportunity to write those snoring hcs too 🤭)

thank you for your love on my works too! have a great day/night <3

ROOOOSE I was bouncing off DA WALLS when I saw ur request (it’s not like I immediately started bombing you with love in ur dms nope not at all- me? Naaah never)

THANK U SO MUCH AGAIN AGH!!! 🧡 One grumpy doc hc coming up fresh out da oven! 🚑 hope u like it, love ya 🧡

GRUMPY DOC LOVERS UNITE! 🚑🧡

ʚ Ratchet x reader ɞ

ﾟ｡ ⋆ ☁︎｡ ☽ sleeping headcanons ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ☁︎｡

2nd person

female reader

WARNING: SNORING GRUMPY DOC!

Does he look like he needs sleep?? HE NEEDS ANSWERS!!!

Kidding. He definitely needs stasis. ASAP.

It would be hard to drag him away from work, you'd have to be stubborn to the point you annoy his way to bed

Later you'd realize puppy eyes and a pretty please also works on him which would make his cheek plates go slightly blue

He loves to have you next to him or on top of him, either way nicely tucked in, wrapped in a little blanket burrito because he can't risk you getting cold

His servos... oh his beautiful gentle servos... He'd play with your hair or rub your back to soothe you. He wouldn't speak much but here and there you might hear his handsome voice through a romantic whisper saying:

Ratchet: are you comfortable enough?

or

Ratchet: my sleeping beauty...

Did he do research on Disney princesses to find a proper nickname for you because you're his princess? Perhaps.

He would always watch over you before you fall asleep. Even when you do, he'd stay up a bit longer, listen to your peaceful breathing and focus on your calm heartbeat while dozens of thoughts would be running through his mind, keeping a tiny smile on his face

He always keeps one of his servos around you no matter what

He's a light sleeper so he'd hear every little shuffle you make and slightly open his optic to check on you. If your blanket has slid off of you, he'd gently tuck you back in every time and plant a soft kiss on your temple

If he really overworks himself (and I'm talking 3 days without stasis) a bomb could barely wake him up. If he ends up on his back, he snores, like, real loud. It would definitely wake you up and you'd be greeted by a funny sight of your old grumpy doc with an open mouth, shaking the whole base with his snoring

Considering you wouldn't be able to go back to sleep, you'd have to give him a little nudge or gently caress his face plate to which he'd mumble something in his sleep while getting comfortable on his side as he'd stop snoring

He always wakes up before you, no exceptions. He needs to wake up early and go back to work

He always gives you a kiss on the cheek or forehead before leaving. If you'd tug at his servo and tell him to stay a little longer, he'd refuse of course

But your sleepy little begging would drag him back to bed nevertheless. He'd stay for about 30 minutes longer, listen to your cute sleepy voice and yawning, smiling while having a little morning chit chat with you

He loves your messy morning hair, it's so adorable to him

If you have longer hair and prefer tying it while sleeping, in the morning he'd help you fix your ponytail/braid(s) (whatever you prefer). Same goes if you wear a bonnet, he'd make sure it doesn't fall off throughout the night as well

If you brush your hair, he'd love brushing it for you or make your braid(s) e.g., whatever you ask him to do. He isn't afraid of the size difference, he's confident and very gentle, he learned his way with you

If you oversleep often, he'd scold you the moment you show up, telling you how it's unhealthy and blahblah

If your sleeping schedule is not sleeping at all, ironically enough, he'd tell you not be like him and how sleep is necessary for your species, how stasis works differently, how you should blahblahblah he can be such a parent but he does that because he cares for you

If you're a morning person and go to bed on time, he'd praise you for that

He'd make sure you have breakfast every morning even if it means feeding you because breakfast is the most important meal of the day!!!

What I was listening to while writing this 🧡

Dividers belong to @dvluc , @firefly-graphics , @animatedglittergraphics-n-more 🧡

[ckret2]

How do you have the willpower to not consume content from any of your other fandoms? I always get pulled in and out of the same ones and it stops me from getting projects done but I get so bored! Teach me your ways!

So the downside of ADHD is that it takes a ridiculously high amount of effort to push yourself to do things—even things you want to do and like doing—unless you put even more effort upfront into making it convenient for yourself.

But the upside is, if you know this about yourself, and if there's media you want to not be consuming, you just...... don't do anything to make it convenient to consume.

I don't have Amazon Prime. All I have to do is not bother to get Amazon Prime (easy!!) and not bother to hunt out a way to watch Hazbin some other way (also easy!!) and bam, I've got a 100% success rate of not watching it.

Do you know how many Transformers series I'm currently behind on? I sure don't! Because I haven't put the effort into looking it up! I can't be assed! There's like, at least three I think! Don't tell me, I'm not currently interested in finding out!! It would take work for me to figure it out; I can just go "work?? Naaah. Not doing that."

You can resist temptation by just being too lazy to pursue it! Make that ADHD work for YOU!

Caution: if you can't get yourself to put effort into doing anything that brings you pleasure, that's either Pretty Serious Depression or it's gonna cause Pretty Serious Depression and it's not good. However. If you master the art of ADHD, you can save up the effort you didn't put into distractions, and use it to put effort into different activities that also make you happy.

Last year I picked up a podcast about cults. It's all right. But because I'm already listening to it and spotify keeps pushing it to the top of my screen, when I need a low-effort audio distraction, it's easier for me to default to putting on the podcast about cults than it would be for me to, say, dig up The Magnus Protocol to start it. And bam! Now I'm doing more research that'll help me write about a cult leader, for free, by listening to a podcast I'm not at risk of hyperfixating on!

Part of avoiding breaking your own hyperfixation is figuring out what media you enjoy, but don't hyperfixate on. Because you still need to, like, have fun. That's why you wanna watch The Things You Like, because it's fun. If you're not having fun you'll wanna go watch The Things You Like, and rightly so. So you've gotta make sure you're having enough fun with things you don't hyperfixate on.

Like, I know that when I watch Columbo or read Poirot, I find the detectives charming while I'm observing them, and then almost as soon as the mystery is over I stop thinking about them. They aren't the kind of characters that latch into my brain. I know they won't become blorbos. So I'm safe there. I know I enjoy horror movies but 99% of the time totally forget who the characters are, like if there's 2 white guys and 2 white girls it is guaranteed I won't be able to tell them apart, so they're safe to watch, I'm not gonna hyperfixate on them. I know that I enjoy nonfiction/educational books & podcasts, but I only hyperfixate on fiction, so it's safe for me to pick up nonfiction. If it's nonfiction that's somehow thematically relevant to whatever I'm currently hyperfixated on, it even helps feed the current hyperfixation.

And those are my "protect your hyperfixation" lifehacks.

On the other hand, if you, anon, don't personally have ADHD, then I can't help you. idk how people with executive function function.

Final advice: if you know you keep falling in and out of the same 3 or 4 fandoms, maybe try writing a crossover fic about all 3 or 4 fandoms at once. That way it won't matter which one you're currently into. You win no matter what. I've never actually tried this, don't trust this advice.

[pampanope]

7-11 Gameplay voice-lines based on @kings-out-of-pocket-hell ‘s post~

7-11 lore bite i guess???

(it’s such a fun ideaaa and I think everyone should give it a try with their oc :))))

Warning for language and unhinged behavior ✨

Match Start

“Don’t be reckless.”

“Happy hunting~””

“Let’s sweep ‘em.”

“If you see any Konni, they’re mine.”

Throwing Lethal

“Using lethal.”

(Throwable explosive) “FIRE IN THE HOLE!”

(Throwable explosive) “Sending hot potato.”

(Molotov) “Drink up.”

(Throwing knife/axe) “Always wanted live target practice…”

(Throwing knife/axe) “Ha! Nailed it.”

(Throwing Thermal grenade) “Deploying war crime.”

(Tossing C4) “Deploying explosive brick.”

Using Tactical

(Concussive & Flash) “Bang, baby.”

(Concussive & Flash) “Throwing Tactical!”

(Stim shot) “GRRRRRRRRRRR.”

(Smoke Grenade) “Ninja vanish…”

Friendly Fire

“‘EY, I’M WALKING HERE.”

“I’m gonna drag your ass to the shooting range if you keep that up.”

“Try that again, and I’ll show you friendly.”

“Oh, YOU WANNA GO?!”

Eliminating enemy

“Target down.”

“Enemy eliminated.”

(With a launcher) giggling “I GOT ROCKETS.”

(With a knife) “Careful. I bite~

(With a knife) “The knife was getting thirsty.”

(With a bat) “Wraith, that was for you.”

(With a sniper rifle) “Karma strikes again.”

(With a sniper rifle) “Smoked.”

Downed

“Cough Nope. Still not going to medical.”

“Dammit, they clipped me.”

“Need to…hang on…”

Reviving

“Get up, this isn’t the end.”

“You’ll be okay.”

(Azzy) “C’mon, still got some asses to kick.”

(Pixel) “I got you, kid.”

(Lock) “Let’s make those rats pay.”

(Wolf) “You’re alright, pup.”

(Sentinel) “Got some assholes to disappear.”

(Graves) “Still need you, sir.”

(Emile) “I’ll always pick you up.”

(Emile) “I’m here, Sweetheart.”

Surviving enemy fire

“HAH! DO BETTER!”

“Well that gun’s wasted on you.”

“Oh, you’re getting bit, asshole.”

“I ain’t gonna be Swiss cheese, dammit.”

Laughs “You’re softer than my plush.”

Killstreak rewards

(Dreadnought) “Summoning Cupcake.”

(Chopper Gunner) “Cut ‘em down, buddy.”

(RC XD) “Man, I hate using these.”

(Napalm strike) “Now where’s their spawn point…”

(Sentry Turret) “I’ll name it Shooty McShootface.”

(Watchdog Helo) “Scary dog privilege~”

(Care package) “I hope they sent snacks.”

Using Field upgrade

(Spring mine) “I hope they’re not too attached to their legs…”

(Spring mine) “Do they need legs? Naaah…”

(Assault pack) “I brought food~”

(Acoustic Amp) “Time to go hunting.”

(War Cry) howls like a wolf

(Sleeper agent) “Time to use what Emile taught me.”

(Sleeper agent) Hums Perry the Platypus theme

Misc.

(Vs enemy with riot shield) “You should be embarrassed.”

(Killing sleeper agent) “I’ve seen better. And you’re not as pretty.”

(Throwing grenade back) “You DROPPED THIS.”

(Capturing objective) “Mine.”

(Becoming HVT) “I’m neither high nor am I valuable.”

(Becoming HVT) “Oh god, please no.”

(Emile becoming HVT) “Stay behind me, Emmy.”

(Sees Emile go down) “NOOO!! EMILE!”

(Planting bomb on S&D) “Adding a bit of spice.”

(Catching fire) “OW OW OW.”

(Revenge kill) “Yeah, fuck you, too.”

(Revenge kill) “Payback’s sweet.”

(Hiding near Emile in Prop Hunt) “Damn. We look good.”

Victory

“Outstanding shit.”

“And that’s how it’s done.”

Defeat

“Tch. Dammit.”

“Retreat! For now.”

[ebonysplendor]

There's Something Wrong With Sunny Day Jack (Demo) Review🌤️

TL;DR: Sunny days, keeping the clouds awaaaaaay~! ... Okay, but like what if our cloud is the "sunny day", and it won't go away? Do we even want it to at this point...?

Game Link: https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sunny-day-jack

Game Link (classic): https://snaccpop-studios.itch.io/sdj-classic

Notable Features: Gender Neutral language, Self-Insert, Yandere LI, Voice Acting, Create a cup of froyo ... yo Spiciness: 5.5/5 -- Let me tell you! It's a whole scene going down in this thing, okay?! FULLY delivered. The literal only thing that would've made this any spicier is if you saw it. You kinda do, but it's just out of frame. LI Red Flags: 3/5 -- Manipulation, possessive, lowkey obsessive, implied violence and possession, but like, I'm pretty sure I can fix him, so whatever, ya know?

Wanna know more? Lmao naaah. Not if you aren't at least 18, and I mean that. There is a WHOLE spicy scene in here. This one's for the adulty adults. Anyways, if you don't care about my yapping and/or you're in the 18+ club, let's get into it!

Okay, okay, okay, I know, yeah, I know, but listen...I'm only getting around to making the review now.

Okay, okay, okay, wait, stop, listen. I know that this game is damn near two years old, but I didn't start getting into reading visual novels until last year, and I didn't start taking the plunge to make reviews until this year so... :P

ANYWAYS! I do have news that you may not know yet! When I was looking for exactly how old this game is, I stumbled upon a little news~

As of me typing this (which was on the 28 August at about 9:30pm, but who knows when I'll actually post this review lmao), the game was updated an hour ago. I'm talking this shit is fresh out of the box! So, naturally, I went scouring for a download button...but then it occurred to me that that message said that it was for the $12+ tier of their patreon supporters. Not gonna lie, the spicy scene in that damn game has got a girl tempted, okay? But the way my bills are set up...

Okay, anyways, getting back on track because I've started yappin'. I'm going to go ahead and jump into this thing because, let me tell you, if you're like me, and you're late to this game, you've gotta hear about it! Granted, the download to the version that I'm talking about isn't available anymore (at least for the public/non $12 patrons), but the classic version is! I don't know how different it is though ^^;

Admittedly, because this game is almost two years old and because there's not a download link available currently, I might spoil it just a little so that you're not left too much in the dark about the game, especially since, again, the download link isn't available. That being said, it may still be spoiler friendly because habit lol.

But you get it by this point. Let's stop talking and start summarizing. Let's get into it!

So boom.

Basically, we're being...haunted?, we guess?...by this very attractive, but frankly super cheesy, children's TV show host. How'd it happened? We aren't really sure. We just remembered that we got some weird tape and was like "Huh...okay", watched it, and boom, here he is. Speaking of "he" and "here he is", here he is!

Everyone, this is the bae, Sunny Day Jack, but he doesn't mind being called just "Jack", so refer to him as such.

Jack has kind've been rocking with us for a few months at this point, and admittedly, it was very poor but really great timing. The reason why that is the case is because we had experienced something pretty tragic, and we were having a really hard time getting over it, but honestly? Jack's child-like explanation of working through problems and explaining emotions actually came in clutch, because we were lowkey able to get this far because of him. That being said...our relationship with him is getting a little blurred -- more than a little.

Ya see, things kind've...escalated between us, and we honestly aren't sure if we're glad that we got called into work or if we're pissed about it. Like, the undertones have been there for a while, but it was only today that those undertones became more pronounced and obvious. I mean, the man had his tongue-- ANYWAYS!

So, we go into work where our asshole manager ditches us because apparently the things that he has to do is way more important than us having a day off from babysitting and picking up the slack of our lazy ass co-workers. The only upside to this is that the day is likely to be slow because of the rain and that we're alone, meaning that we can openly talk to Jack.

Oh, now that I think about it, I forgot something super crucial -- we can see and hear Jack. More specifically, we can touch him, feel him, smell him, fuck him, the works, but, for whatever reason, others can't do the same. I guess it's like...medium privileges or being a ghost's host perks or something? Anyways, I'm getting off track. Gonna stop it there before I start spouting some stupid shit.

We kind've flashback to what happened right before our boss called, and whoo boi, does that steamy feeling come back full force. It's weird, because it's like Jack can read our mind about how we felt so comfortable and so safe and so protected and, frankly, so curious about him and what all went down in that moment. Jack basically reassures us that the feelings that we have are okay, and what would be best described as "love". Oh...oh, haha, uh...

"Nah, dawg, it's not love."

"Well...do you love me?"

AYO? I beg your finest pardon, sir!? Like, he's just gonna come out the woodwork with that shit?!

Regardless, he's still reassuring us that, "It's okay if you see me as bae" and we're just "We're roommates, dude, and seeing someone as bae is way more complicated than you're making it sound!" He pretty much just laughs it off and is like "Well, either way, I'll be here. Always. I'm not going anywhere. Ever. I'll be anything and everything that you need". Oof, that is...a bold ass claim, and one that we're not so entirely sure we should trust...but damn does it feel good to hear those words and have some support...anyways.

Our work day continues, we run into this awkwardly cute guy (I'll explain more later), our whore of an ex-boyfriend called and ruined our fucking mood, Jack lays down some more heavy words of reassurance, and the day goes onto the next.

Unfortunately, we land ourselves back at work, but fortunately without the "un-", we are alone and can freely talk to Jack again. Like mentioned, the guy is a ghost, but he's so very real, just not to others, which can be super disorienting sometimes; this is one of those sometimes. Jack wanted us to make him a yogurt and...oof, his reaction was...

...less than thrilled. Disgusted, even. Horrified.

Now, this doesn't sound like a huge detail or issue, but he actually got a bit scary here because, what is this shit that he's spouting about us "not being that type of person anymore" and "being better than that, now"? Like, when I say that this man -- clown? ghost? -- had a full shift in personality, and it was just...fear in his eyes, desperation in his voice? Like, he looked and sounded absolutely haunted and terrified of something. Like, this was beyond the horror in a cup that we apparently made him experience; it only triggered it.

Thankfully, although awkward, he easily moves past this saying that the combination of flavors just threw him off, and a customer walks in to provide a diversion for an extra layer of safety.

Oh! It's that awkward but polite cutie from the other day!

When we see him, or rather when we hear the door, we say our awkward ass, lame ass greeting, and it's kind've an opener for him to start some super brief small talk. He eventually takes the plunge and shoots his shot. Now, personally, I think the guy is damned adorbs, but at the same time, it's just...it's too soon. That mixed with this whole thing we've got going on with Jack...

We're pretty conflicted on how to answer, un-- Wait, huh? What did...?

Did-- Wait, Jack wants us to tell him that we have a boyfriend? And what does he mean that "it doesn't even have to be a lie"? ... He said the thing again, too. That thing about being whatever he wants us to be.

This is so anxiety inducing, too, because it's like, first off, we weren't expecting to hear him talking to us, and second, we can't acknowledge him in any shape, way, or form. Jack is quite literally looming right behind us, whispering in our ear, and we cannot so much as look his way without the guy in front of us thinking that we've completely lost our shit. Even still, our feelings for Jack have been complicated lately. Should we even take that plunge? Something about doing that doesn't seem right, though...

...We tell the guy that we don't have a boyfriend. Before he gets his hopes up too much, though, we tell him that we aren't really looking for anything right now, either. The guy leaves. The store is quiet, and we're left with alone with Jack with that awkwardness from earlier back in the air at full force; he's the first one to speak.

He apologizes and starts asking if he's pushed anything onto us that we didn't want. Before we can really answer though, he apologizes again. He explains that he thought that he was speaking in terms of what we wanted, but he keeps going back and forth like he's trying to find the right words but also figure out where he misunderstood; better yet, and more accurately, he's trying to figure out why he misunderstood in the first place. The poor guy is honestly so pitiful at this point, and we try to stop him from rambling and reach out for him... but our hand falls right through him.

Obviously, we start panicking, and Jack explains to us that he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want him to do nor feel comfortable with, and if it's him that we don't feel comfortable with and it's him that we don't want...this is what happens.

Okay, now, we're past the point of panicking; we're on the verge of tears because had we known us saying "No, I don't have a boyfriend" meant that Jack would start questioning if we actually wanted him around and fading away, we would've never said it. True to his optimistic nature, Jack reassures us that he's not "fading away" or "disappearing", and we're just like "Dude, piss off with that. Now, is not the time" because it's like, bro, this isn't a joke or us not wanting to get up for work; this is serious.

Jack chills with the reassurance and explains that he understands that we're serious, but that this isn't an issue that he can fix himself. Jack basically said that our words -- better yet our acceptance or denial of him -- are very weighted and that the only way to fix what's going on right then and there is to reaffirm that we accept him being there and truly meaning it, and that's only because he doesn't want to do anything that we don't want or need from him.

Even still, do we really trust him fully enough to do this? He's not the kind of guy to hurt us, is he? I mean, it's Sunny Day Jack. Then again, we also thought the same about---

"Hey."

"Yeah, Jack?"

"I know it's scary, I honestly do, but you can trust me. All I want is to be with you, protect you, and make you happy; that's what I'm here for."

All of that sounds so nice, too nice, but...

Can we trust him so easily...?

We really shouldn't...

But that horrible, heartbreaking moment...

That pain that Jack somehow made bearable, took away even...

That companionship he gave us in the place of loneliness...

His comfort...

His gaze...

What's wrong with feeling good? Why doubt him, and why feel like this unique and irreplicable connection is a bad thing? It's like Jack said: these feelings are okay; it's normal. There's nothing wrong with this.

...Right?

Y'all. You all. Guys. Gays. Theys. People. Friends. MY friends. SQUAD. (all right, enough...)

Hot and bothered, bothered and hot. Like, please allow me like 3 - 5 sentences of degeneracy. Between Jack and Ren (iykyk) ... Ren still laid down the pipe better but Jack?? Jack was a damned close second. Like, did you see the way that man was looking in our eyes and holding us? Then he's so big and masculine looking and ahhhhh~! That is BAE right there!

Anyways, getting back on track, when I had to go back and get those screenshots, what should've taken me like 5 - 10 minutes took me like 30+ minutes because I had to relive these moments. I had to relive this story! Like I mentioned earlier, the game is damn near two years old, but it reads like new, you feel me? The story, the implications, the art style, the scenes, the drama -- ahhh! I LIVE. I ASCEND. Like, when these developers hit the mark, they hit the damned mark with such precision!

I'm pretty sure that it's been mentioned at this point, but do you know what I loved the most about this visual novel (degeneracy aside, of course lol)? The subtle but oddly specific ass details that you're sure to miss or gloss over if you're not paying attention. I'm talking those details that you probably wouldn't catch until you've already read it once, seen how things have panned out, and then read through it again. Like, how it described us feeling cold whenever we thought about Jack leaving or fading away from us, or how the air would feel like syrup or cotton candy whenever he spoke to us, or how we'd get all warm in the most literal sense whenever Jack was near, or feel full, or completed, or -- the list honestly goes on. Like, there's a lot of allusion to being slowly corrupted/possessed by Jack, because this guy is a ghost, remember? Yeah, I had lowkey forgot, too.

Those specifically subtle details really made the story come together, and once I caught onto what was going on, I was just like, bro, the signs were there! I'd have to say that my absolute favorite "subtle" sign was when Jack always seemed to know exactly what we were thinking, almost like he was able to read our thoughts, but as soon as we started to "reject" him, all of a sudden he wasn't exactly sure what we thought. He went from responding to our thoughts to questioning what we may have been thinking about. Like, what? Go the eff off SnaccPop!

I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this visual novel, I love this frickin visual novel. I could ramble and geek way more but I'm gonna start wrapping it up before I start yappin' too, too much. Just allow me a few more sentences, a paragraph or two, please.

I. Cannot. Wait! For the full and official release! I am so excited to see how the team is going to mold this story and how things are going to pan out. I'm excited to see how and if we're able to get away from Jack because, at this point, he has a damned strong hold on us, but I'm speculating that our horror movie fanatic and director friend is going to come in clutch for this one.

If it was not obvious (and honestly, if you were somehow later to this game than I was) 100/10 would recommend, and I am recommending. It is so good, and I really hope that I'm not over hyping it, because the foundation that has been built for this story is so damned solid. Like I mentioned way earlier, unfortunately, you can't play the (free) updated demo anymore, but you can still play the classic one; I just don't know how different it is compared to the new version. Either way, I'll give you the link to both just in case (Update | OG). If you're able, definitely give them that monetary support and play the updated version. Hell, tell ME how it is because...I really don't want to put off my bills but, at this point, Jack has me in a fucking chokehold all over again. What's an extra, unplanned $12 at this point? Also, if able, visit the game's page and give SnaccPop that ever so encouraging but thirsty "NEED. MOAR. I mean, you take your time because perfection can't be rushed, and I know you all are people with a life and other responsibilities and such, BUT I NEED. MOAR. IT'S SO GOOD. STAND AND DELIEVER. ...please UwU I beg OTL"

Meh, that was highkey three paragraphs, but I'm not gonna split it so it can still be the two paragraphs that I requested. Lol sorry for pushing it there, but I'm done now! Promise. No more yappin'. The yap has been concluded, and I'm gonna go ahead and head out.

Big preesh for getting this far, and please, remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Updated; download not available to public)

Something's Wrong with Sunny Day Jack (Classic; download available)

[noa-de-cajou]

Day 4 : Hospital visits / Tell Me I'm Fine

Bronya visited on monday.

“So. What did they say?”

“Broken arm, a sprained ankle and a mild concussion. They wanna keep me here for a few more days.”

“Fuck. Those bastards really did a number on you, huh.”

Bronya hates hospitals. She already spent enough time here after she lost her leg.

“... How’re you feeling?”

“Fine. Could be worse, really.”

Milosz visited on tuesday.

“Hey, I brought you some food! Your arm isn’t gonna heal well with the bland shit they serve here.”

“You're a fucking angel, Milosz, I hope you know that.”

“Naaah, it’s the least I could do, really. I couldn’t… Well. I couldn’t do much back then. Almost made it worse, even. So… You know.”

Milosz hates hospitals. He had to bring his mother here one too many times.

“Hey, uh… You feeling okay? I know I'm rambling but I'm sorry. If I had reacted…”

“Milosz, don’t sweat it! It's all good. I’m pretty much fine, actually.”

Simowiet visited on wednesday.

“We should press charges.”

“Sim, I really don’t want to think about that right now.”

“Hanko might be in danger if we don’t, Bazyli.”

Simowiet hates hospitals. Last time he had to run to one, they told him Jacek didn't make it.

“I’m… Ugh. You're right, now isn’t the time to talk about this. You should focus on your recovery.”

“Hey, Sim, relax. I’m fine. It’s okay.”

Tonia visited every day. Sometimes with Zajac, sometimes not.

“I tried to go talk to the Dolak parents, but… they moved out in a hurry, apparently.”

“Really? Hah. Should have seen it coming. Where do they live now?”

“I… I don’t know. It's like the entire family just up and vanished. I don’t… I don't think they're in town at all anymore.”

Tonia hates hospitals. Because of me. Because I made her spend half of her teenagehood in those rooms and those halls.

“I’m… I’m sorry, Bazya. I really am.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault. I'm fine, I promise.”

Hanko didn’t visit.

They didn’t text, either.

I tried to call them, it went straight to voicemail, the number isn’t attributed anymore.

I don’t know if they’re fine. I don’t even know if they're alive.

Hanko likes hospitals. It’s one of the only places he used to feel safe at, before we came along.

I hope those assholes had the decency to take him to one. I don’t remember much from the altercation but I do remember that he was injured. Badly. He’s probably worried sick, too. Maybe even blaming themself, knowing them.

If he was here, I could tell him.

That I'm fine.

That we’ll both be fine.

That it’s not his fault.

It’s mine.

[leffee]

may I offer you an angsty Pepper headcanon in these trying times (I'm in an angsty Pepper mood today)

So I saw this one headcanon for a popular fandom with a fan favorite character, and looking back it kinda sounds like Pepper in my mind :)

It kinda goes like this:

Pepper: "Ugh, don't you hate it when your neck suddenly starts burning for no reason?"

Zoe: "... Uh... No...? I'm sorry, Pep, but I have literally no idea what you're talking about."

Pepper: "You know, when you wake up and it feels like your neck is on fire? Not like a sore throat though, just neck. And then you know it's gonna be one of those days?"

Zoe: "One of those day...?"

Pepper: "Yeah :D"

Zoe: "..."

Pepper: "..."

Zoe: "... I'm getting Russell-"

A couple weeks later or something like that idk:

Penny: "Pepper, why are you limping?"

Pepper: "Oh, my leg just acts up sometimes, it'll be fine in a couple days or so!"

Penny: "You're leg... acts up... sometimes? Why?"

Pepper: "My leg got crushed when I was a kid :/"

Penny: "... Wha-"

Pepper: "Almost got torn straight off too!"

Penny: "... Where's Russell?"

Later:

Sunil: "Pepper! Are you alright??"

Pepper: "Uh, yeah. Of course I am, why?"

Sunil: "Vinnie told me you kept falling from the fire hydrant house all day yesterday! Why would you even keep going up there if you kept falling??!"

Pepper: "Pfffft, relax, Sunil! I was just a little bit dizzy, that's all!"

Sunil: "Dizzy? Pepper, that's vertigo! Why did you never tell anyone you have vertigo???"

Pepper: "It's not vertigo! I've always been a little dizzy after that one time I hit my head-"

Sunil: "YOU HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE????"

Pepper: "Wait, don't call-"

Sunil: "RUUUUSSSSSSEEEELLLLLLLLL-"

Oh yes, thank you for food during this difficult period 🙏 

So basically what you're trying to tell me is that Pepper is accident prone? ...Or just health problems/injury prone perhaps. And of course she is being all like "Naaah, it's nothing, while everyone else is like, "Girl...". Hmm, I like it! I would say here that this is literally my headcanon for Vinnie but a) this is more canon than headcanon really b) I have so many headcanons for him that directly contradict each other too that every thought there is I have probably aleady headcanoned him with so yeah :3 I mean I still said that uhhhh. He also lowkey enjoys it so, ummm.

Ok, but for real, do you guys sometimes feel like your ear, not your neck, your ear is on fire when you wake up? Like it passes but it happens sometimes and yeah-

And I know Russell is considered the smartest and he's also a humanarian, but I don't think he will be able to help this time :( I mean, brain damange?? Yikes, he might wanna get out his thickest medical book

[mickmundy]

MERMAID BUSHMED??? TELL ME MORE

EEEEE OMFG OKAAAY ;___; <33 WUAAAA IM SO HONORED U WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT OWUGOWUAA OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY so like. like i said in this post i can think of a couple ways to do it. i like the idea of them both being merfolk because ouwagaaa merfolk lore and nesting and cute flirting rituals and and and and!!!!! buuuut i also love the idea of lonely fisherman sniper being the object of affection of Flirty Mermedic who pines after him from afar....,.,

and i ALSO ALSO like the idea of mersniper being caught by mann co and given to medic to do whatever with (organ harvest.,., uh oh!) and medic unwrapping the tank Excitedly and then being like "HOOH!.,,. oh gott.,., what do we have here!!" but sniper is simply Too Stunning to kill.,., but in all three situations they fall in love.,., so.., that much i Do know..... SKDFKSDKFKSDKF!! but also just quick species notes for them

for sniper i think i'd want his fishy half to be a spotted wobbegong! they're sharks that are docile but still have sharp teeth and hunt from a distance! i think the color palette suits him really well too..!

medic could be so much... but i personally enjoy the idea of him being a blanket octopus! they're very smart, gorgeous and super poisonous... just like medic! HEHE..! (and yes i know tentaspy exists but If You Ask Me spy is more of an eel than an octopus. but i digress)

Bestie Dee @5piecechickendinner (who you should all go follow Immediately!!! EHE) was asking me about it and i wanted to jot down my thoughts here too SO im gonna talk more about the human fisherman snip and mermedic HEHE...

UNDER A CUT LOTS OF BABBBLING BELOW EHE

IF IM KEEPING IT LIKE SIMPLE AND CUTE i think medic would just come across him one time while he's fishing (perhaps they're trying to eat the same fish? heh.. i could make a whole other post just on like. my personal MerLore i'd use but anyway) or he sees him swimming (we'll just say for the sake of this au that sniper has some kind of small corner of the beach To Himself that the public doesn't have access to) or sunning naked (as he's one to do just in general imo) and medic's like "owo! hoo!" and tries to get closer.,., i think once medic catches sniper's eye though (by that i mean just like. a glimpse of his tentacles/"tail") he's like "ohh, you're gorgeous! *A* c'mere, beastie.,"

and medic hesitates and ultimately Goes Away just because he's not sure he can trust sniper not to kill him (sniper Does kill fish after all). sniper looks for "that octopus" every time he goes out into the ocean but no luck.., then some time perhaps medic's curiosity gets the better of him (Of Course) and sniper's out on his boat and medic swims to the edge of it and uses his tentacles to tug on sniper's wrist or rock the boat and sniper hurries and looks over the edge and he can see Something..,, Moving.,, Down There.,., and he sticks his head/upper body under the water and comes nose to nose/forehead to forehead with him.. medic smiles Toothily and bats his eyes at him and is like "Hello.. uwu" and sniper's just like. awestruck and he tries to say something but bubbles come out because underwater HEHE and medic thinks its cute... so medic gently presses his forehead against sniper's and pushes him back so that he's Breathing Air and sniper croaks out a like "hullo.,.," and medic grins..,

i think sniper wouldn't Know that merfolk exist but obviously stories myths etc are fun.,. but now he's like holy crap.,., and he'd told people about this octopus he SWORE he saw and they'd be like "naaah.. get your head outta the water and go live a little!!" but sniper loves his Simple Life by the sea and so he's like >_> no and then he kind of starts entertaining like omg what if it was a mermaid... hah... imagine that. and then when he sees medic nothing can prepare him for him being Real.., and medic's like "(probably in german) my jolly sailor bold!" (<- i think this would be a nickname medic would give him because merfolk know human stories about them and that i think sniper is Not Jolly and medic has overheard sniper grunting and talking to himself while at sea LOL which medic thinks is cute) and sniper's like "huh.,? me....?" as if there's anyone around for like. 1000 square miles SKDFKSD and medic's like "mhmm..,, ywy" and sniper's just like.., speechlessly staring at him and medic's tentacles are creeping up the sides of the boat behind him and while sniper Does look Delicious he won't be dining on this human.., HEH...

However if i was going to.,., say.,.., write a Fic.,., (smirk) i ALSO love the concept of the story being a bit more Deep/Dramatic.... the idea of sniper being a hunter and tracking this Rare Octopus that's said to have killed/slain/sunk ships and he's tracking this Beastie for like. YEARS and finally goes to engage in combat with it and a tentacle ends up smacking him and knocking him out and medic goes to eat him and is like "hmn.,.." pushes his hair back out of his face.., smells him.,., bats his eyes at him.., and medic admires sniper's tenacity and loves how Dangerous he is and decides to spare him., and leaves him floating on his boat and the sea is Deathly Calm and sniper wakes up and is like what happened and he looks over the edge of the boat and sees nothing and he's like no n n nono nono I LOST IT (the Beastie)...... both of them hunting one another obsessed with each other.., he leans his head over the side of the boat and medic's tentacles slither up the side of the boat and sniper notices them and looks to the side and sees.., mermedic..,

and is like Holy SHIT. HOLY SHIT and medic smiles Toothily and medic Lunges at him (much more graceful underwater than sniper is of course) and "breaches" and tosses sniper into his boat and pins him with his body weight and human hands and sniper's like "WH-" and medic smiles and is like "sehr handsome... must we kill each other, sailor bold?" and sniper's just in total shock and medic's smirk widens and sniper goes limp (but rest assured hes Hard) and medic glances over to see sniper's knife and picks it up with one of his tentacles and watches it glisten (shiny) and sniper's just watching him and is like "are you real? is this?? wh.,.," and medic grins and is like "how do you propose we find out? (Flirty)" and sniper's face flushes and medic bares his fangs and giggles and is like "i won't kill you.., but you're breathing entirely too much for my taste.,,." and leans down and kisses him and sniper Immediately Melts and medic smirks and starts humming and his tentacles start sliding up over the boat and up sniper's shirt and sniper nips at medic's mouth and medic giggles and is like "hoo! humans certainly are different," and sniper's like "whats that supposed to mean >:/--" and medic's tentacle slides over sniper's groin and sniper shivers and moans (he is Wet) and mermedic's like "mmn, but clearly not So different! >v>" HEH....

GRAAHHH THRASHES AND GIGGLES.,., i love merperson aus so this is ummmmmm VERY self indulgent.,., *taps my brain* One Hundred Billion merfolk aus alone.,, HEHHEH.,.,.,

[dilscft]

Same with me! If Season 3 has Jelly endgame I'll watch it otherwise season 2 episode 8 was the series finale just like Book 2 was the ending for me. I do hope people write Jelly fics I love this ship so much they're soulmates. You know I thought the other day about if Jeremiah wasn't in both the book and the tv show and we didn't have Jelly for a relationship in both best friends and lovers I think the show and books would of been so boring I already find Conrad bland boring and toxic so watching Conrad treating Belly like shit for 3 books isn't it for me Jenny Han is a sadist for having her keep going back to Conrad who would want him? Also he was so childish last night He hurt Belly and Jeremiah so much especially Jeremiah shaming him all throughout the ep Steven too worst friend ever only Belly and Taylor was on his side made my heart feel warm hehe. I have to talk about what else I hated the candy scene which made no sense Jere knows everything about Belly he would know what she likes they added this to give Conrad even more favors than what the books had but the mom dying scene I hated how she said to take care of Conrad um can we talk about how she basically groomed Belly to be into Conrad? Like for real the only reason she liked Conrad was because of this I swear obviously Jeremiah's feelings don't matter as much 95% of the characters don't care about him which is sad. Jeremiah is so mature and smart but never gets credit for it I was crying when he was talking to Conrad about letting Belly go did you see how he was having trouble saying it? It was breaking his heart now you're telling me we have all this and they aren't endgame? No they feel like the main relationship of the show even in the books Jelly has the most development and feel endgame book 3 never counted to me I read that once and never picked it up again it has no connection to the series in my opinion just a way to make Bonrad happen so Jenny had to ruin Belly and Jeremiah's characters.

If jelly didn't exist, i wouldn't even start it. Like wdym I should watch the toxic relationship? Naaah, they only reason I'm watching this show is jelly only!

K LITERALLY DESPISE CONRAD IN THAT CAR SCENE. SHUT UP. IF I WAS JEREMIAH OR BELLY, I WOULD PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE. THEY HAVE TOO MUCH PATIENCE.

Candy scene literally didn't make any sense. I think it was added in his favor, but Jeremiah would never forget it. Like in the scene where they bought drinks, he literally said that the drink she bought is her fav one after tasting it.

When skye said that Susannah wasn't a Saint, I was like, "Go on dear, what else do you wanna tell us?" Like, she was so obsessed that belly must end up with one of her boys. It's bellys life, she will choose it. Don't put that responsibility on her. Belly literally adores her and kinda may be scared to disappoint her, so she kinda put that image of conrad that she thinks she's in love? Anyways, Belly was just 16 yo and Susannah asked her to take care of her son. Like, go talk to your son instead. It's not women's responsibility to fix broken men!

[troncelliti]

🫨🤫🤭😁

@lulina hhhheeeeee llllllll

[@staff @support , naaah. don’t sweat it. it just kinda bites a lil, dunnit? i get to all this… candy? umm, skin? and, …

do i have to… 😭 really? seriously? you’re telling me – vaia our esp line… brrring, brrrrring… hulo? – read the Ts&Cs, Imran… ffs, ok. But, this verbal contract isn’t conditional like imma actually gonna do like a good lad gettin’ good grades at school, right??? Thx tho for always keeping gentle instead the: what??? how? I do not wanna know. I’m good. Tumbs good. We’ve been dating for, like, ever. Sorry that you got the SOL accreditation! Badda bing! Badda boom! Yer back azzz sumthin else. No way Jose! Rob Lame-O? Not my probe-lame-O, k?]

oooooooooo 🌚👹🏴‍☠️

[xamaxenta]

Marco watching the way Sabo keeps nodding off, head dipping and then bobbing back up as he sniffles and turns the page of the book he’s reading

He says nothing, happy to observe the way the younger blonde flips back a few pages to reread something and then again to his current place

It’s interesting to watch sleep take Sabo because Ace is out like a light every night before his head has even hit the pillow, he doesnt fall asleep he crashes and he crashes hard, its fun to see where the switch flips, Marco thinks its when his knees hit the mattress but Sabo thinks its when he starts falling face first into the pillows

Sabo however refuses sleep, because in his words “I have so much to do” the bags deepening his hollower gaze gives him a gaunt look most of the time, Ace always tells him he makes the walking dead look sexy and Sabos lip curls because its a dumb joke, because half his skin and body overall is immolated anyway

Sabo when almost asleep is possibly the most malleable creature, loose long lanky limbs and with the sweetest disposition, wit and integrity was replaced with something truly spoiled

“I dont wanna get up.” Sabo complains when Marco plucks the book out from his unprotesting hands

“I wasnt going to make you.” Marco replies whilst sliding one hand beneath Sabos knees and the other under his arms, sabo says nothing nd promptly slips off Marcos shoulder

Sighing Marco hefts him back up to drape an arm around his neck, “work with me, you can atleast do that much right?”

“Naaah.” Sabo slurs, head lolling to the side and he nuzzles into the firm broadness of Marcos shoulder, “dont wanna.”

“Youre worse than Ace.”

“Ace is nicer.” Sabo says and thats that, because its true so Marco struggles with him, dropping him twice, both being Sabos fault but hes so exhausted he doesnt really seem to care, only that he expects to be carried, in full

“Your legs dont fit through the door like this.” Marco chides, but, picks Sabo up off the floor regardless, clutching him bridal style and Sabo grins, eyes closed peaceful at last at achieving what he wanted

“Youll figure it out.” Sabo punctuates the last syllable with a yawn and, surprisingly, sweetly nestles into Marcos shoulder

Its hard because Marco really doesnt want to inconvenience him now, its so so rare to have this chance that waking him up would be such a crime

So he makes it work, squeezing themselves through the comedically narrow door frame to the adjoining bedroom where Ace lays spread eagled across the mattress drooling peacefully into Marco’s side of the bed

Depositing his precious cargo on the side that had less of Ace and more mattress, Marco feels a phoenix purr rumble in his chest, low and melodic at the sight of Sabo instinctively squirming close to Ace to latch onto him, Ace, shifting in his sleep to accomodate him like they’d rehearsed this

He wishes he had a snail cam, it would be lovely to capture them like this

Sabo opens his good eye and throws Marco a look, its uncanny how good he is at sensing another persons gaze on him, must be Dragon’s paranoia training or something, Marco wouldnt know

“Im cold.” Sabo informs him and Marco snorts, cold, with the personification of fire incarnate spooning him?

“Are you?” Marco humours him as he starts shucking off his over shirt and dropping his pants

“Yes.” Sabo huffs and, scoots over as Marco sets a knee on the mattress

“Aw. Guess im gonna have to fix that for you too hm.” Marco smacks Sabo on the thigh, a silent request for him to move over so he can fit too

Sabo hums in response smug as can be as Marco settles down and effectively sandwiches him between his own chest and Ace’s. Ah. So that was his plan all along.

“I bet you think youre real smart huh.” Ace speaks up, his voice crackles, crispy with sleepiness

Groans when Sabo elbows him in the ribs, swearing but tightens his hold around Sabos waist in response

“Clever thing isnt he?” Marco agrees conversationally, dry rhetoric colouring his voice as he jostles Sabo in closer because now that hes nicely tucked between them they won’t let him leave

“Shaddup.” Sabo grumbles but he doesnt sound too put out by his currently. Titillating situtation

“Hn. Okayyyy.” Ace bites at his nape, mouths sloppily at golden curls until he found Sabos scarred earlobe

“Gross.” Sabo whispers but his eyes are closed and his voice is so soft it barely holds any heat.

Shifting his weight to more securely cradle Sabos legs between his knees, Marco relaxes entirely and listens to both his younger partners breathing even out allowing Aces soft snores to eventually lull him to sleep

ok im no longer blisteringly horny on main i wanna think about MAS snuggles

[trashyswitch]

Revenge is MINE!

Part 3 of "Michael Meets the Daycare Attendant"

Part 2

Part 1

Michael gets the idea from Vanessa to get revenge on The Daycare Attendant for tickling him on his first day. Let's just say The Daycare Attendant is less than pleased...

This fanfic was suggested by an anonymous user who was VERY patient! Thank you! And I hope you enjoy!

Michael walked himself up to his co-worker during his shift. “Hey Vanessa.”

“Hi Michael. What’s up?” She asked.

“Eeh, not a lot. Nothing to report.” Michael told her. “That’s good.” Vanessa replied.

The two adults sat in silence for a bit.

“Hey Michael?” Vanessa asked.

“Yeah?” Michael replied.

“Have you ever considered getting revenge on the Daycare Attendant yet?” Vanessa asked.

“For the tickle attack? No. I don’t think I can.” Michael replied. “Fun little fact: The Daycare Attendant has been programmed to be ticklish. So…” Vanessa said with a wink.

“And you’re telling me that because…” Michael narrowed his eyes with a smirk. “You really want me to wreck him…” Michael accused. “Well, yeah! Duh!” Vanessa reacted. “And you wanna watch?” Michael asked. “And…Help?”

“Watch? Yes. Help? Naaah.” She replied. “Tickling is his and your thing.”

Michael looked around. “We do NOT have a thing for each other. That daycare attendant tested the waters and nearly drowned me in the ballpit.” Michael told her.

Vanessa was laughing. “I wasn’t implying you and the daycare attendant had a thing! I was implying that you two have something in common.” She told him.

“What? That we’re both ticklish?” Michael asked. She booped his nose. “Yup!” She replied with a smile.

Michael went cross-eyed for a moment. Then he narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms. “You’re lucky I’m not planning on wrecking you anytime soon.” Michael teased. Vanessa laughed as she drank her coffee. “I think we should focus on keeping a professional relationship between each other. And tickling each other does NOT fall under that category.” She explained.

“Says who?!” Michael asked. “Uh, says everyone.” She replied, as-a-matter-of-factly.

Michael hummed and finished up his coffee.

“You’ve got a full 45 minutes before we need to get back to work. Now would be as good a time as any, to tickle the daycare attendant.” She told him.

“Don’t be telling me what to do!” Michael ordered. “....But yeah. I probably will do that.” Michael completely switched his words around.

Vanessa only laughed at the change. “Have fuuuun~” She teased. “Fuck oooooff…” Michael replied. “Hey! No language like that around that animatronic, you hear me? He’s like a toddler! They listen and repeat everything!” She ordered. “Alright! Alright.” Michael replied as he threw his cup into the trash.

[a few minutes later:]

Michael slid down the slide to the daycare, and fell into the ballpit. He quickly got out of the ballpit, and looked around for the animatronic attendant.

“Hey Daycare Attendant! We need to talk.” Michael called.

“Hooo hooo HOOO!” The daycare attendant hopped around the daycare. “Why hello, Michael! So nice to see you again!” They declared.

“Now: I got some news from a little birdy across the way.” Michael told him.

“Really? Tell me, tell me, tell meeeee!” The daycare attendant begged, grabbing his shoulders and climbing around on Michael like a monkey.

“Come here you!” Michael ordered as he grabbed the Daycare Attendant. He grabbed him, wrapped his arms around the Daycare Attendant and tickled him.

“Now now WAIT-” The Daycare Attendant screeched loudly and bursted out laughing. “NOHOHOHOHOhoho! Hohohow dihihihid yohohohou knohohohow?!” The animatronic asked.

Michael only chuckled as he discovered his ticklish spots. “Hahaha! Revenge is ALL MINE!” Michael joked.

“COHOHOME OHOHOHOHON! IHIHIHI’M SAHAHAHARRYHYHYHY!” The Daycare Attendant begged.

“You’re gonna have to save your apologies for when I’m done wrecking you.” Michael replied.

The Daycare Attendant was squeezing his eyes shut as his huge mouth displayed the brightest of toothy smiles. “HOHOHOW DIHIHID YOHOHOHOU KNOHOHOHOW IHIHI WAHAS TIHIHICKLIHISH?!” He asked.

“Oh! I thought I told you already! A little mischievous birdy flew up to my shoulder and whispered the words ‘Sun is ticklish’ into my ear.” Michael joked. “THAHAHAT’S AHAHA LIHIHIHIE!” He argued. “Not a lie! Completely the truth. Why would I lie? I have no reason to lie.” Michael told him.

The Daycare Attendant cackled and laughed under Michael’s tickly fingers. But then the hands moved to his armpits. That was when the animatronic HOWLED! Good lord, it was quite the howl too!

“IHIHIHI’M GOHOHONNA BAHAHAHAN YOHOHOHOU FOR THIHIHIHIS!” The Daycare Attendant told him.

“Oh really? Well that wouldn’t be fair, now would it?” Michael teased. “NOhohohoho…” The animatronic replied.

Michael held up the animatronic’s arms into the air, and held both down against the ground with his one hand. The only reason this was possible, was because of how stick-thin the arms and wrists were. So, it was fairly easy to hold onto with Michael’s big hands.

“Any last words, before I tickle you to tears?” Michael asked.

“You’re BANNED! Banned from the daycare! Banned forever!” The Daycare Attendant told him. “I won’t wanna return anyway.” Michael said before skittering his fingers on the daycare attendant’s armpit.

The Daycare Attendant actually snorted, and bursted out in squeaky laughter! “EEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE! IHIHIHI’M DONE! IHIHIHI’M DOHOHOHONE!” The Daycare Attendant declared.

“Done? Done with what? You’re not doing anything except for laughing! I’m the one doing everything right now!” Michael reacted. “BEHEHEHEHE QUIHIHIET, YOHOHOHOU!” The Daycare Attendant ordered rather harshly. “You…You what? You nincompoop?” Michael asked, with a smirk.

“YOHOHOU’RE AHAHA VIHIHILLAIN! EHEHEHEVIHIHIL!” The Daycare Attendant fought.

“Let’s face it: I’m about as evil as a golden retriever.” Michael mentioned. “YOU on the other hand, are a lot more sinister than I’ll ever be! Have you ever seen your own face?” Michael casually insulted the animatronic.

“MEHEHEHEHEHEANIHIHIHIE!” The Daycare Attendant argued. “Yeah, I can be a little mean. But truth is key to life.” Michael replied. “Unless you’re writing a resume…”

Michael kept switching armpits to play around with him. “Which armpit am I gonna tickle next? Right? Or left?” Michael asked. “IHIHI DOHOHON’T KNOHOHOW!” The Daycare Attendant replied. “The answer is:” Michael tickled an armpit. “Left side!”

The Daycare Attendant was cackling and wiggling all over the place. He was quite the wiggle worm too.

Michael switched to the right armpit, then to the left again. “Will I stay on the left side for a while? Or tickle the right side?” Michael asked. “What am I gonna do, Sunny boy?” Michael asked. “IHIHIHI-”

“Right!” Michael tickled the right armpit with a smirk on his face. He tickled on the right armpit for a few seconds before switching. “Left!” He declared.

“STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!” The Daycare Attendant pleaded, barely even able to get the word ‘stop’ out. “My goodness! You sure are a ticklish one, aren’t you?” Michael teased.

“YEHEHEHEHEHEHES!” The Daycare Attendant replied. “Glad we agree on something.” Michael replied. “Hey Michael!” Someone called. Michael stopped tickling the animatronic and looked around for where the voice was coming from. Michael soon found a window with a girl standing there, using a microphone on the intercom. It was Vanessa!

“Tickle the feet, Michael! He’s even equipped with toes! He loves This Little Piggy!” Vanessa encouraged. Michael smiled and winked at her before giving her a thumbs up. “WHAT?! Not true! LIES!” The Daycare Attendant shouted.

Michael decided to listen to her, and let go of The Daycare Attendant’s hands. He sat on the animatronic’s lower legs, and took off the Daycare Attendant’s shoes. And sure enough, there was a foot with a group of 5 toes on top of the foot! “Well what do you know!” Michael reacted.

“NO! NOT THE FEET! ANYTHING BUT THE FEET!” The Daycare Attendant begged.

“Ooooooh! Are they ticklish by any chance?” Michael asked as he started dragging a finger up and down the foot. “YEHE- MMMMMM! STAHAPIT!” He ordered, throwing his arms everywhere. He laid himself down and covered his mouth with both his hands. Michael just chuckled at this and started scratching his feet. To Michael’s surprise, the feet didn’t feel metallic like the rest of the body. The feet were…soft? For some reason?

The Daycare Attendant’s huge smile grew wider and wider, soon showing itself through his hands. “NaaaaAAA!” The Daycare Attendant screamed and pulled on his feet helplessly. All the tickling was causing him to become weaker.

“How about…the toes!” Michael moved up and started scratching right under the toes.

“BWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” The Daycare Attendant cackled and laughed hysterically.

“More ticklish than most humans, I see!” Michael reacted. “Michael!” The familiar voice called. “Yeah?” Michael looked up, and saw Vanessa. Vanessa was pointing to her watch. “Time!”

Michael checked the time, and just about died: he was 10 minutes late resuming his shift! Michael quickly got up and ran to the exit of the daycare.

“YOU’RE BANNED FROM THE DAYCARE! FOREVER! BANNED!” The animatronic shouted at him.

Michael smirked, turned around and flipped him a good ol’ middle finger at him.

The Daycare Attendant blinked and was taken back. What was that sign?! The animatronic looked down at his own fingers and began testing out the sign on his own hand. Ooooh! This is cool! He should totally show the children this the next time they’re here!

[jhoudiey]

Title: Boar meat is boar meat, even if it started as Kore meat.

Rating: G

Words: 1067

Characters: Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Floyd Leech, Yoru Crowley (OC), Boar Kore Hightower (@/azusawrites OC), Theo Yule (@/azusawrites OC)

Synopsis: Ace and Deuce are idiots and turn Kore into a boar. Yoru is hungry and wants to eat her.

“Ne, Yoru. What are you doing, you look reaaaally~ creepy right now.”

Yoru turned to look at Floyd with a grin, a maniacal glint in her eye as she weighed the heft of the kitchen knives from the block in front of her. “Meat.”

“Meat.” He said flatly, “What about it?”

“There’s a boar on campus that’s been running around biting people, I’m gonna eat it.”

“Eeehhhhhh? Shouldn’t you leave that up to the staff or something?”

She shrugged, gripping her chosen knives in her hands. “If I catch it first they can’t take it away cause it’s mine.”

“Do you really think they’d let you keep it?”

“Not like they’d take it back. You coming or what?”

“Where is it?”

“Running around outside the coliseum right now, looks like those two idiot first years are chasing after it but they’re too slow.”

“Aha! Naaah, I’m gonna take a nap here I guess. See ya.” Floyd waved her off and stomped up the stairs to her bedroom. Yoru raced out the front door and took off. The first years were slow but she wasn’t. She’d have the boar in no time, then it would be time for a feast. 

**

She spied the boar squealing and running as fast as its stubby legs would take it, a cloud of dust growing in its wake. The first years still trailed behind, the gap between them growing as the race wore on. Yoru dropped from the sky, knives ready and fell upon the boar catching it around the shoulders with her talons, forcing it to the ground. 

“WAIT STOP!” The red headed one yelled. 

“I caught it, I get to eat it. Back off.” Yoru replied, holding the boar down with one of her feet, lining her knives up to make the kill. 

“YOU CAN’T, THAT’S KORE!” The blue haired one shouted, waving his arms as the pair of idiots caught up to her. 

“Theo’s kid?”

“YES! SO YOU CAN’T EAT HER” they shouted in unison. 

Yoru shifted her weight, still pinning the boar Kore to the ground. “Why not?”

“CAUSE SHE’S NOT A REAL BOAR, ARE YOU INSANE!? WHY WOULD YOU STILL WANT TO EAT HER?” the red boy frowned, the red heart on his eye crinkling. 

“Boar meat is delicious?”

“THAT’S OUR FRIEND YOU’RE TRYING TO EAT!”  The boy with the black spade on his face shouted. Yoru sighed. It was always the fucking Heartslabuyl students with their stupid rules and morality and telling her what she couldn’t do. 

“Well why’s she even a boar in the first place?”

“Well….” Spade sputtered

“We just…” Heart rubbed the back of his neck , desperate for an excuse that wasn’t “we’re idiots that can’t even make a basic potion that even babies could handle.”

“Yoru,” A cold voice broke from behind the kerphumphering of the two idiots blabbering in front of her, still without an excuse. “You can’t eat Kore.”

Theo rubbed his eyes with an exaggerated sigh. Why was it always the Crowleys?. And why was he cursed with two of them?

“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine” She groaned, taking her foot off the squealing boar that was apparently the girl that lived in Ramshackle dorm. “But you owe me dinner.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yeah you do. You just deprived me of this one.”

“Dude, what the HELL?” Heart gagged as Yoru rolled her eyes. “You know that’s really a person and you STILL wanna eat her?”

Yoru shrugged. 

“Boar meat is boar meat. And boar meat is good.”

“Are… are you a cannibal or something? I think we read about those in class the other day…” Spade trailed off itching his forehead as if the movement would help jog his memory. 

Theo chuckled, helping boar Kore to her stubby little feet. “You’re not completely wrong, I suppose…”

“Wait a minute, wait. A. min-ute!” Hearts said, looking from Theo to Yoru for clarification, none of which was given. “ARE YOU SAYING SHE’S A CANNIBAL?”

“Whoa whoa whoa! You can’t be! Not for real!” Spade cowered away from Yoru before regaining his composure and resuming his upright posture. 

“Hey, all I wanted was some boar. And like I said, boar meat is boar meat, even if it starts as Kore meat.”

Boar Kore snorted and stamped her feet at Yoru, indignant that the bird girl was insistent on eating here even if she wasn’t really a boar. Not forever, at least.

“Whatever. This is a waste of time if I can’t even get a meal out of it. Theo you owe me.”

“Yea yea,” he waved lazily as she flew away, back to the cabin tucked neatly in the woods behind campus. 

**

“Wait so the boar was Koebi-chan?”

“Yup.”

“And Okoze-sensei wouldn’t let you eat her?”

“Nope.”

“Boooooooooooooring.”

“That’s what I thought too. Now I’m really craving boar and we don’t even have any.” She crossed her arms and wriggled into the bed next to Floyd.

“What if I turned into a boar, would you eat me?”

“Right now? Yes. I just told you I'm hungry.”

“What if I was aaaaaaa...” He paused for a moment to think, “an ostrich?”

“Like a full grown one or just an egg?”

“I dunno, either one.”

“Yes.”

“Eeeeehhhhh if it was both why’d you even ask?”

“Thought I should clarify how I’d eat you I guess.”

“You wouldn’t really eat me though, riiiiiiight~?”

“Probably not.”

“Only probably?”

“Yea. What if we get trapped somewhere and there’s no food? I’d have to eat something and you have more meat on you.”

“Not that much more.” Now he was the one pouting.

“Just turn back into an eel. Then there’s plenty of meat for the both of us.”

“Geeeeeeh”

“Wanna do that right now? I could go for some fish.”

Floyd groaned and stretched, setting his feet on Yoru’s ribs and hips. “Let’s go get dinner you’re being stupid.” He whined, pushing his legs forward so she’d fall out of her own bed to the floor. 

“Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine.” She moaned, dramatically flapping her arms in the air above her while Floyd crawled out of her bed over her flailing hands. He helped her up from the floor and they walked towards the mirror chamber discussing which of the students at Night Raven would provide the best meal. Remora-chan? Too bony. Epel? Too scrawny. Azul? Azul would be perfect, they both agreed, and entered Mostro Lounge with an appetite whet for takoyaki.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

How would the different SL girls react if they found out they were pregnant?

Interesting question!

So obviously, everyone in this scenario are adults, so older than they are in the show.

I'm thinking right off the bat that if Ámbar found out that she was pregnant, she would tell everyone the amazing news and be so proud of herself. But it would really only be a façade - she would actually be quite terrified. I imagine she from an early age was told to marry someone wealthy and keep the fortune and reproduce and have children who can inherit the fortune after her. But she doesn't have that mindset anymore. She remembers how Sharon treated her as a kid and she's afraid she will be the same. She doesn't want to do that to her kid. But with talking to her close ones, I think she will be calmed down.

Luna? Would not know she's pregnant. Other people would be like "hey I think you're pregnant" and she would be like "Hahahahahaha no". She would go pretty far until it's literally impossible for her to even deny. I can see her having this pretty clear baby bump, think it's nothing, then try roller skating or whatever and notice how exhausted she gets from it. So she rests on a bench and someone sits down next to her, points at her belly and is like "please just take a test". Also she's the same "naaah it's not that" when she goes into labor.

Nina I feel like would be pretty excited, but she wants to tell people in the right moment. And not everyone at once. So everyone close to her are like "I feel like you have a secret" and she would me like "...i'll tell you later". She probably divided the people up. She told Luna at one moment, told Gastón at another moment, told her parents at one moment, etc

Delfi would just go all out and try to make everyone else guess it. She would just come up to people like "guess what ;)". I feel like Jazmin would jokingly go "what, are you pregnant or something?" and Delfi would go "...yes..."

Jazmin would just casually mention it to people like if she would say that she wanted sugar in her tea. "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant. Anyway-"

Jim would be someone who would want to become pregnant, but thinks she's not. I imagine her going out from the bathroom like "I don't even wanna look, it's probably negative" and Yam takes a look at it and goes "Jim, you might wanna look at it..." When she sees that it's, in fact, positive, both of them scream of excitement.

Yam would be shocked, but not tell anyone at first. So everyone would be like "did you see a ghost or something?" and she would be like "uh... I gotta go..." Eventually Jim would stage an intervention and drag her somewhere private and say "we need to talk, why are you acting so weird?" and Yam would smile nervously and say in a very silent voice "I'm... pregnant..." Jim would be like "WHAT?!", Yam repeats, Jim repeats her "WHAT?!" and then the two would would scream and giggle together.

So yeah.

[woblut]

So as I was falling down the stairs case (and let me be honest I think I peaked in that moment) the goddamn shitlings decided to run by.

I wasn't expecting audience, especially not the screaming kind but what can I say, I'm beautiful even when I'm about to die.

But I think I should start with an introduction first. My name is Lyna and this isn't an unusual situation at all. More like one of many fiascos that extend throughout my life. I was about to deliver the cake I've been saving up for myself to my sister upstairs after my caught me with it and well... you can see how that's going.

I've never been a fan of stairs to be honest but that's besides the point (also escalators are worse if I have to be honest), I'm supposed to be writing this to help.. myself. Or at least that's what I've been told as I'm not sure what it's supposed to help with. My terrible luck? My obsession cake? The lady downstairs? They honestly haven't told me. And by they I mean a creepy lady that popped out the trash can of a library (maybe I shouldn't have accepted this notebook after all, it was a rush decision and the bitch disappeared like the fucking wind for some reason probably running from the police or sum). I should stop listening to random people on the street but that's practically my hobby at this point (alongside with destroying my hair it seems). Last week I saw a guy with a burrito in pijamas... both of them... in pijamas... He did make some bomb drinks tho! Maybe I shouldn't have accepted that either... But hey I lived!

Haven't seen the dude since which is kinda a bummer but the story isn't about him. I'm surprised this writing thing hasn't bored me to death but it seems like procrastinating on job applications might be my new hobby as well so I might just continue until I ran out of excuses. Speaking on excuses I've putting the original story for a bit now. Let's go back to the cake. Mmm that delicious beautiful showstopping black forest cake... that's all over my face now.

At least my niece's laughter isn't the only thing that alerted my aunt so I have an excuse now. She won't be telling me I deprived my sister of the cake on purpose. Shame I won't be able to eat it either... or maybe.. if I just try.. naaah.

Maybe my knight in shining armour will come and deliver me another one. Actually dump the knight, I just want my cake back. Maybe I'll write a novel in one sitting if I'll try. The untold stories of the cake that was lost to time. Disregarding of that I need to clean up. Does anyone know how to get get chocolate cream out of that damn little crevice inbetween the wall and the wooden frame of the stairs?? Well of course not. I'm talking to the voices in my head not some damn cleaning master out there to help me at any given moment I wish to summon hit. Although that would extremely useful I might wanna make that first if I ever get witch powers or some shit.

At least my nephew seemed worried about me. The kid is going places. Not like those damn bitches that kept on laughing for a solid hour after that. Never liked them kids anyway. But at least that one might turn out alright... hopefully. I mean other than that everyone keeps saying he's gonna turn into a priest and the kids keep on pulling on his leg he seems to have a good sense of self worth still.. at least it looks so. Yeah the kid's gonna either turn out the wit-est of them all or have a mental breakdown. But this story isn't about him either.

Like I don't really know what I'm doing with my life. I might just pack my shit and go. I'm 21, just lost my 3rd job this month, got a weird journal from a crazy lady, had a near death experience twice in one week, ate a weird waffle and got kicked out of a book club within 29 minutes of being there. I'm thinking of Hawaii, or maybe Himalayas I'm not sure anymore. Whichever one works.

How do people seem to live so still. I don't remember a time I haven't had a borderline life ending experience in longer than a few days. I feel like I'm just walking around randomly then life decides that's enough and starts throwing shit eating monkeys at me. (That actually happened once but I'd rather not get into detail of how I got out cause that's a pretty messy one) Yeah I think just born too pretty and the gods decided "nah we gotta nerf that one". It honestly feels like that sometimes. Might as well just go with it. Make it a whole conspiracy theory on why my life is like this. Red thread and no sleep for a week style.

But I think that's enough for tonight. Probably won't even remember to write here again and already sorry for my future self having to read this shit in five years from now on.

The Chronicles of a Dumb bitch ™ Ch. 1 coming next- uuhh someday..

[whumpmatsus]

28 Kara is cute, one would say too cute to suffer. Not me. Maybe fic where he is feeling really sick, but being the quiet one he is forgotten for a while? Or something. Pls and thanks.

haha, nobody is EVER too cute to suffer here! including precious baby 18!Kara~ <3

I had fun with this, I hope you like it! c:

-

It’s pouring rain when the rest of the sextuplets come to walk Karamatsu home from the train station, and he doesn’t want to go out in it.

Today’s drama club meeting wasn’t a very good one. The teacher leading it got focused on the two lead actors for the play which the club is showing tomorrow night, because they were both fighting and at each other’s throats. Most of the others ignored Karamatsu in favor of being on their phones or reading magazines or running lines while the teacher was busy with the leads.

Finally, in a twist that puts the cherry on the horrible meeting sundae, despite the fact that he’s playing a small part, Karamatsu messed up his own lines every single time. The others were so irritated with him, he wished the floor would just swallow him up.

Usually he’s so good with acting. It’s something he’s passionate about and enjoys and takes pride in. Today… it’s not that he’s nervous about the production. It’s that he just feels awful.

He’s been tired since he woke up, he’s warm and clammy at the same time, his throat is scratchy, he keeps coughing and sneezing, and any part of his body that doesn’t have a specific complaint is simply achy. Mommy noticed that he wasn’t feeling well when she sent them all to school, but he begged her not to keep him home, and since he didn’t have a fever this morning, she let him go.

There’s… definitely a fever running through him now, though. He thought for sure his brothers would notice and maybe ask him if there was anything they could do; instead, he’s been behaving so normally as far as they’re concerned, with his quiet nature and tendency to cry over small things, that not a single one of them has picked up on it.

On top of everything else, he forgot his umbrella. It was supposed to be sunny today, so he had to walk from school to the train without one, and now when he gets out of the station, he has to go out into the rain with barely any protection.

Although he’s crying by the time he reaches his brothers, it blends in pretty well with the rain.

Thankfully, all his brothers are carrying umbrellas, so he huddles under Osomatsu’s and presses himself against his older brother’s side. Osomatsu immediately accommodates him, pulling Karamatsu in to get dry. “Hey, bro! Geez, you’re shaking like a leaf. Sorry you didn’t have your umbrella!” He chuckles and tousles Karamatsu’s hair. “That’s what you get for picking a nerd hobby that’s right after school so you don’t have time to go home and get anything.”

“Don’t listen to him, Kara ― your hobby is just fine,” Choromatsu hums. He’s busy trying to entertain Totty, who’s doing his damnedest to attach himself to Choromatsu’s hip. “Now, guys, it’s raining out here, so can we please go home and get some tea? If we stay out here much longer, we’re gonna catch colds, and I do not want to be sick for graduation.”

Jyushimatsu scoffs. “That’s still two weeks away. We’d be fine, dumbass.”

Choromatsu’s face turns bright red. “W-well, if you’re fine getting sick regardless, you can go jump in the puddles for all I care!”

A smile briefly flashes across the second youngest’s face. “Really??” And just like that, he’s back to looking constantly angry. “Naaah… that shit’s for babies!”

They all begin to walk, and Ichimatsu shakes his head. “Ah, Karamatsu-nii-san… some of my friends wanted to come see that play tomorrow. What time does it start, again?”

“U-uh.” Karamatsu sniffles a few times, nuzzling against Osomatsu’s shoulder. “7 P.M. for the first one. Then there’s another showing at… at 8:30. I… don’t know if I’m… going to go, though.”

“What??” Choromatsu frowns as the six of them stop for the crosswalk. “You’ve never had stage fright before. You’ll be fine once you get up on the stage.”

“I don’t know, Choro…”

“Oh, come on, Kara-nii-san. Don’t cry like that… you made a commitment! You don’t wanna let your club down, right?”

Karamatsu reaches up to try and wipe the tears away. Not only is it kind of ineffective because his rain-soaked bangs keep dripping down his face, his hand keeps brushing against parts of his acne as he tries, which is painful. “Y-yeah, but…”

Osomatsu gives his little brother a squeeze that he thinks is supposed to be reassuring. It’s a bit rough, though. “No ‘but’s unless you’re grabbing a girl’s butt, Kara! You got this! You’ve done this shit before and totally nailed it. You usually don’t have too many lines, anyway, so it’s not that bad, is it?”

God, he should have a little more backbone. He should be able to say things decisively and not just fall silent when his brothers push him like this. Actually, if he just managed to say outright that he’s sick, they wouldn’t even be saying anything like this stuff. Right now they just think it’s pre-curtain jitters, which happens, which they can usually shake him out of because they know he loves acting.

Funnily enough, even though he doesn’t have much of a spine himself, this crappy cold of his evidently thinks this is the perfect time to speak up. The congestion he’s been fighting blossoms into something insistent that he can’t ignore, and he quickly ducks his face down between his hands.

“― Hh’DSHH! Hah’DTchh! Hd’TCHHuu! Ahh’DTSCHhhoo!”

A volley of coughs rides on the tail end of the last sneeze, so much that he can barely get a breath in. Each one makes his all-over soreness sharpen for a second, unbearable pinpricks of pain across his whole body. The coughs make something in his chest crackle and it hurtsand suddenly he’d pulled into a protective hug.

Part of him wishes he could just pull away. The part of him that wants to lean into the contact wins out, allowing him to nestle into his older brother’s chest as he continues to cough.

“Shit, Karamatsu!” Osomatsu starts rubbing his little brother’s back in an attempt to help break up the fit. “The fuck, man? That sounds nasty. You coming down with something?”

Karamatsu can feel the others hovering closer, murmuring in concern among themselves. The coughs finally taper off and he scrubs at his eyes, no matter how much it hurts, even as more tears start to bubble up. “Y-yeah… I woke up sick…”

“What??” Choromatsu sounds almost like he’s been betrayed or something. “You should have stayed home! Ah… wait… wait, you walked all the way to the station from school in the rain when you already have a cold? That’s a great way to end up with a sinus infection or pneumonia! Shit, we gotta get you home…”

“Sorry…” Karamatsu manages to croak out, followed by more sniffles. Thanks to the cold air and the sneezing, his nose has started running again. “U-uh… does anyone have tissues…? I used all mine already…”

Ichimatsu starts to dig around in his pockets. “Yeah, I think I have some.”

As he hands over a small pack to his older brother, Osomatsu gives a protective squeeze. “Hey, Choro, don’t blame Karamatsu for all this. He should have said something, sure, but it’s not all on him here. We should have noticed something was up. Right? We’re his brothers.”

Karamatsu lets out a small whine of protest, pressing a tissue over his nose. It would have been nice for them to notice, but… it’s not like it’s their job. They don’t owe it to him to pay attention to him. “I-it’s not your fault…”

Before anyone else can say a word, Totty lets go of Choromatsu and darts over to circle his arms around Karamatsu’s waist. He’s sort of wedging himself between Karamatsu and Osomatsu, pretty clearly wanting to be with both of them. “Ah! We love you, Karamatsu-nii-chan!! We’ll take good care of you!”

“… Yeah,” Choromatsu chuckles. He reaches over to pat Karamatsu’s back. “I’m sorry we weren’t paying enough attention to notice you weren’t feeling well. But we’re gonna get you home and tucked into bed. And I’m sure Mom will call the drama club teacher to tell her you can’t perform tomorrow night.”

Jyushimatsu hums, and he appears to be trying very hard not to smile wide like he wants to do. “We’re probably all gonna catch it, right?”

Ichimatsu chuckles softly. “Yeah, that’s what usually happens.”

“So… we can go stomp in puddles, right? Since we’re gonna get sick anyway?”

“No, no, no,” Choromatsu immediately speaks up, “no stomping in puddles! We have to get Kara home!”

Of course, it’s too late. Jyushimatsu has run off ahead of them all, launching himself into every puddle he can find, his face switching between an irritated scowl and a borderline maniacal grin.

Totty’s still clinging to Karamatsu, snuggling against his shoulder. “We’ll all get to be sick together! That means we get to stay home from school for a couple days. We can sleep and watch movies and have a big cuddle puddle.”

Choromatsu sighs. “As long as we don’t miss the commencement ceremony, that’s okay. I guess the last few weeks of our senior year don’t matter too much with regard to schoolwork, anyway. Especially since we’re already adults.”

Another few coughs are muffled against Osomatsu’s chest, prompting everyone to give a brief stroke to Karamatsu’s back or hair. “Well, before we catch it,” Osomatsu says, “we’ve gotta get this geek home and throw his ass in bed. He’s really warm… feels like his skin’s gonna burn his clothes up. C’mon, Kara. We’ll get you wrapped up in a blanket, then maybe I can help Mom make some kayu to make you feel better.”

“Mm…” Well. That does sound pretty good. “… W-with umeboshi on top?”

“Yeah, sure! Whatever you want! And Choro can make some tea, Totty can pick out a movie, Ichi can get a cold cloth for your forehead, and Jyushi…” Osomatsu blinks and peers out where their fifth eldest is… way ahead of them. “What can Jyushi do?”

Choromatsu blows out a slow, frustrated breath. “… Stay out of the way??”

Totty giggles. “He can be the bodyguard! We’ll station him outside the room, and if any of Ichimatsu-nii-chan’s friends come by to try and take Ichimatsu-nii-chan away, Jyushi-nii-chan will scare them off!”

“Hey, yeah! That’s a good idea, Totty!”

“What? Why do you want to scare my friends away?”

“Because Karamatsu-nii-chan’s sick! They can’t drag you off somewhere when your big brother needs you! That’d be mean.”

“A-ah, hahahah… he’d be fine without me, but… I can just say no! We don’t need Jyushi to scare them away.”

“We miiiiiiight! At least, it would be funny!”

Karamatsu offers a tiny laugh, which quickly turns into another couple of coughs. He puts a weak arm around Totty and wonders how he’s going to keep his eyes open for the rest of the walk home. He thinks they’re not too far away, though.

“Thanks, guys… this… this might not be such a bad day after all…”