#and you probably gave money and pushed away friends etc etc for it

[cruelsister-moved2]

the conspiratorial thinking on tiktok is out of control ngl and i guess the blame is ultimately on the US propaganda machine because it's so easy to learn that communism is not "just like nazism" and feel betrayed and confused because you've been lied to your whole life and then immediately go and eat up a different set of lies that are specifically catered to your current distrust of any and all authority, rather than doing the hard work of educating yourself which involves scary things like reading "books" and critical thinking. instead just go nope the academic presses and fucking wikipedia are all controlled by Jewish Capitalists and only this random person on tiktok knows the Truth

[francis-writes]

Modern!AU Ramsay x reader

Maybe it will be continued. For now some silly au i wrote at 1AM.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

You let out a breath. Well, meeting a kinky stranger from internet turned out to be quite a surprise, though maybe not the kind of a surprise you would enjoy.

But after all, what could you expect? You were in a rather bad mood before, so you weren't really picky while scrolling through apps, looking for a parties near or for some stranger eager to fuck you. You just hoped that non-binding, meaningless dicking down from some stranger would help you relax and cheer you up. So when you got a message from someone - 21M, signing as a master_big_dicc - you agreed to meet in two hours, even though he would probably piss you off on any other day. But, you both just wanted to fuck and he was very clear about it in his messages. He also seemed rather kinky - maybe he was just an internet dom, but he kept promising to "make you choke on him", "rip you apart with his dick", "make you crawl and beg like a filthy mutt" etc.

He gave you his address, which perhaps wasn't the safest option. But you packed a pepper gas and sent your location to friend, then left with hope for some good cock.

Now you stood in front of the house, realizing a few facts. The address you got led you to a luxurious villa which - according to the decorative plate - belonged to Roose Bolton, wealthy businessman, owner of company selling skincare products. This was the official part, but you heard that part of his money came from illegal business. If the internet stranger wasn't lying about address, it was either Roose Bolton himself (though claiming to be 21), his son Domeric or...

The door of the residence got opened and you got your answer.

Ramsay Bolton, son of Roose Bolton from some quick side fling. He moved into his father's villa just a few years ago, after being raised by his mother - in much poorer conditions, from what you heard. Well, Roose Bolton wasn't the most caring person, nor father.

You didn't know Ramsay personally, but you occasionally heard about him and his actions. Every once in a while he got arrested and freed, thanks to his father connection. From what people said, he was just typical young hooligan, drinking, getting in fights, just rich enough to get in trouble whenever he hurt someone with a knife.

Now he walked to the gate, yelling at the dogs that were jumping and howling at you since a few minutes. They obediently calmed down and ran away from the fence. You looked at Ramsay when he opened the gate for you. He was at least one head taller than you and quite bulky. You knew what to expect - he didn't sent you his face, but his profile had enough pics of his torso and dick. But you liked fat hairy guys. You were only worried if his body will be able to make you stand his personality for at least next hour.

He had wide pink lips, icy eyes, and long black hair tied in a ponytail. He wore a loose black tshirt with some metal band name on it. Ramsay looked down at you with a smirk, that seemed almost mocking.

"You're here for fucking?"

I shrugged and gave him a small smile.

"If you're master_big_dicc, then yes."

Ramsay chuckled lowly and stepped back, to let me get in.

"Come in. Don't be afraid of my bitches, i trained them well. They won't hurt you without my permission."

I walked in and he lead me through the garden to the door of the house. Without waiting, he reached his arm and grabbed my waist, keeping me close to himself.

"Well, then I hope that you won't give them that permission" i said awkwardly, trying to keep a conversation.

Ramsay just snickered again, as if i were very funny. He pushed me toward the stairs.

"Go, you will take off boots and the rest in my room" he muttered, leaning to me. "My stepmother is downstairs. I don't want her to notice you. She will keep chattering, asking if we're together and offering you cookies, and at least hour will pass before i can fuck you. And i especially didn't jerk off now, to have my dick all ready for you"

We reached his room. It was really messy, perhaps he tried to make it a bit more prepared for me but it meant just throwing all the dirty things in one place. This mess was a weird mix of some trash, cheap collections and expensive brand things. I took off my boots and sat on the bed, looking at the band posters at the wall. It was mostly metal, some punk and some posters announcing raves.

[i-sveikata]

Hello my fantastic author, how are you?

Today I'm back with a question that came to me while rereading chapter 15 (or 16.. oh my I'm missing out too much XD). The scene, or rather the concept, is when Pete finds out through his grandmother that Vegas has left him, literally, a mountain of money in her bank account. I was thinking back to the scene when Pete was in the car with Vegas at the funeral (whoo the first time Pete actually asked Vegas to give him a blowjob XD - bold Pete) where Pete understands that something is wrong but Vegas doesn't say anything about the money.

I always thought that she did this gesture of love to allow Pete to somehow escape from that world if things went badly. But then reading the following chapters, and as we have seen Vegas exposed under the drugs, I have a question or maybe two:

Vegas could have done, even if unconsciously, this gesture thinking that Pete could have abandoned him to live with his grandmother far from everything and therefore would have lived better without him?

Or Vegas could have done this because he knew there would be a coup and wanted Pete to be able to choose and live?

I am not so convinced that the second option could be true, judging from the recklessness and certainty that Vegas showed during the attack on Pete, being sure that he and his father would have overthrown Korn, but I am curious about your opinion author.

Just for information … I had this thought again last week then puff it disappeared and I continued to think "Damn what was I supposed to ask …." and then luckily it came back to me!!!

Aahahah your VegasPete occupy my mind completely!!!

Thanks as always…and if you want to share some other little Vegas/Pete interactions from the next chapter, who am I to stop you??? Hahaha

Hey there!! Im doing great got a public a holiday Monday so long weekend woohoo I’m thriving!

Oh interesting question!

But I will point out that in the fic Pete and his grandmother have a shared bank account because Pete takes looking after his grandmother very very seriously (and is very high key feeling like he’ll never be able to pay her back for saving him as a child) which is why he’s more hands on then say her actual sons/ Pete’s uncles.

So it wasn’t necessarily a gesture towards Pete’s grandmother. Although Vegas gave him the money fully aware that Pete would probably use it to help his family (and even maybe his friends).

Vegas’ decision was made by three important factors: being injured and forced to confront his own mortality, wanting Pete to be able to protect himself financially so the rest of Vegas’ family couldn’t use that to hold Pete ransom like they ended up doing with Porsche and wanting to be certain Pete is able to look after himself regardless of whether Vegas died or not.

I think because Vegas is afraid of being abandoned, he’s doing everything in his power to emotionally push Pete away first before it hurts too much. Only he keeps affording Pete the kind of agency and power that means Pete could walk away and choose to do so with minimal damage (in Vegas opinion which obvs we all know is wrong lol). But an interesting consequence of that is he’s actually making Pete even more certain of Vegas in some ways then he otherwise would have been if Vegas had tried to hold on too tightly and tried to tie him up, lock him away and control him etc.

Vegas keeps proving that he’d help Pete in spite of his own interests- he’s putting Pete first in a way that Pete hasn’t really experienced all that much. It’s also why Pete’s care of Vegas has intensified in the last few chapters or so: he’s fully aware that Vegas is giving him everything even going as far as to go against his own personal safety. So of course Pete is now watching his back for him, shoring up that side when it’s clear Vegas will give him everything and won’t protect himself. Pete isn’t an unequal lover, that kind of devotion is especially effecting him and that’s why he’s trying to return it in his own ways. By being protective of Vegas and his body, by stealing him away from the main family, by helping him claim back the head of the minor family etc etc.

Vegas was definitely reckless with himself during the coup but not Pete. And I think he’s starting to figure out the kind of person Pete is- he realises Pete would never have been satisfied running away forever. Or giving up the life for good. Pete’s not like Kinn and Porsche he actually chose this for himself in a lot of similar ways that Vegas chose to embrace his own criminal inheritance.

Tbh despite his own internal misgivings about himself, Vegas loves in a way that’s almost antagonistic to how he perceives himself. Vegas sees himself as a monster, a weapon something that can only inflict pain and suffering. But it’s interesting to see how that comes across in his relationships. Those he loves he protects, Vegas’ love is to shield others from suffering. So they don’t experience the kind of pain that he has experienced in his life. Which is why he stood between his father and his brother and it’s why he gave Pete all that money.

He’s mostly a weapon but he’s also a shield, whereas Pete is mostly a shield but also a weapon.

Like Pete has protected the family of course, but he’s inflicted suffering on others at their behest also. He hasn’t solely been a noble shield. There are shades of grey in the things he’s done to survive just as there are in Vegas.

It’s funny too because I don’t think either of them have clicked with how often they’re switching between that dynamic as they’re moving through the world. If one is being the weapon the other is generally being a shield- those bastards are so freaking compatible it makes me want to chew at the walls hahahha.

I would love to share a snippet but alas I’m at work! I’ll come back and add something in later :) but hope that sort of answers your question!

[aromanticannibal]

Transfem Katsuki (edited as of Nov. 2023. Katsuki hadn't died yet when this was written so bear with me.)

In honor of "fuck I thought about transfem Katsuki and now I'm in love with her again" and also because of a shitty discourse post I saw. Enjoy.

She will NOT figure it out until at least second year of UA.

She's always been uneasy about the whole boy thing. Specifically boy. Like she's one of the guys ok sure but she's not a boy.

We know how kind Aldera is to anyone who's slightly out of the norm (ie Deku) and Katsuki is especially aware given she was part of the problem. So yeah, internalized transphobia (+homophobia) we love to see it./s

Getting into UA and quickly realizing that like more than half the class is openly and proudly queer in some way gave her whiplash, and as much of a bully as she still was at this point, she didn't say anything.

She tried to convince herself it was to not get in trouble and gamble her place at UA, but really she was just glad to not be somewhere as fucked as her middle school.

And if the trans ponytail chick makes her question who she really wants to be... well that's nobody's business.

As I am very subtly implying, Momo ends up being a big part of Katsuki accepting herself and her identity as a trans woman.

Katsuki loves her friend group (she'll never admit it but she does, so much) but she associates them with her old group from Aldera somewhat unconsciously, and is terrified they'll push her away, even if she knows she's just. Straight up wrong.

As in, so incredibly wrong. Sero and Jirou are non binary ("Whatever the hell that means") Kirishima is a proud trans man ("More of a man than any of the cretins at Aldera will ever be") Mina's dating a trans girl from another school ("Camie Utsushit or smth") and Kaminari is so many different flavors of queer its almost impressive.

Really, her friends are probably the ones that should be worried, she tries to remind herself, hammering it in her head. Katsuki was an asshole for most of her life, they should be the ones scared of her. They're not though. For some fuckin' reason.

So yeah, talking to her friend group is out of the question. Momo though.

Momo is a special kind of trustworthy. Momo is the kind of person you'd give your entire life savings, your child, your car and your wife to. Katsuki hates that, she hates trusting people, it always ends badly, so she prefers doing stuff on her own.

Except it doesn't always end badly. Especially not with Yaomomo.

Every early saturday morning, Katsuki's and Momo's workout sessions happen at the same time. Eventually, they start talking during that time. Katsuki eventually asks about Momo being trans, more or less convinced she'll tell her to go fuck herself (she obviously doesn't).

It helps, despite the fact that her experience isn't the same as Katsuki's at all. Momo always knew she was a girl, her parents always were supportive about it, and money really wasn't a problem to help her transition once she was old enough to make that decision. Hell, she can literally make estrogen.

Katsuki then comes to the realization that yeah, she's probably a girl. Not like I'll ever do shit about it, she thinks.

Things kinda stay stagnant for a time then. Katsuki has way more important stuff to worry about (like exams and also her and her friends almost dying etc etc) and the self-hatred that simmers in her head constantly doesn't make it really fun to actually think about herself.

Second year comes around.

Because this is me, and my blog, and I do what I want, I present to you my son, Shinsou. Most trans guygirl t4t lesbian of all time. In my heart.

So Shinsou is very trans in the most mysterious way you could think of, so mysterious he himself doesn't really know what is going on with his gender. He doesn't exactly care, he just vibes (any pronouns).

They're pretty knowledgeable on queer stuff because it loves to read wikipedia pages until 5AM when it can't sleep and got lost on multiple LGBTQ+ related forums when she was 13. (He also knows a lot about chickens and lizards.)

She can just breathe the queer coming out of Katsuki, but when they ask they're just met with "oh Bakugou? Yeah no, he's cishet. Our token straight man. To prove we're diverse, etc." (-Shouji, entirely serious). Shinsou's not buying it but she doesn't like assuming, so he shuts up.

Meanwhile, Katsuki has nothing to think about anymore now that things have settled and she's not getting attacked by her self-hatred constantly, so she unfortunately ends up thinking about her gender (truly tragic. Genuinely though, it's almost distressing because she pushed the thought down for so long that it's scary to think about).

Because early mornings and nights are a time outside of our world, it's again around 5AM that Katsuki talks to someone who might help her with her gender problem. Shinsou in fact, who's of course awake on a Monday morning after a sleepless night, eating cereal out of the box.

Katsuki finds herself chatting with the weirdo and eventually asks what the fuck kinda gender it is, if only to be able to call her something else than the weirdo in her head.

The realization that gender is a construct and doesn't really fucking exist so it doesn't actually matter is somewhat of an epiphany for Katsuki. Like she's silent for multiple minutes. Shinsou is getting scared

Quietly, she mutters a small "I think I'm a girl" to Shinsou. It smiles and says "Nice. There's not enough girls in this class." and goes back to its cereal.

Katsuki has no fucking idea how that fucker exists. He's an anomaly in the timeline. Katsuki adores them.

(Platonically. Girl doesn't have time for romantic love. Yes I'm also making her aromantic, because aro Katsuki is the loml and one of my fave hcs.)

After that weird but insightful conversation, Katsuki finally asks Momo for help, taking her up on an offer she had made one morning. ("If you ever need my help for anything concerning [your gender bullshit], come see me.")

Momo being the absolute QUEEN that she is, she assembles all transgirls and cisgirls of the class + whoever else would like to join (which ends up being Jirou, Shinsou and Aoyama) and they all go on a shopping trip with Katsuki to help her figure out what she likes.

Does she want to wear makeup? Does she want feminine clothes? Or long hair? Does she want boobs? Or thinner traits?

Does she just want different pronouns and to be addressed viewed as a girl?

Mina shortens that as "What kinda girl is Katsuki".

I'll do you the answer here so this doesn't take forever, because the process of figuring it out must be long.

Mainly, the verdict will eventually be that Katsuki didn't really feel comfortable in the box she, her parents and Aldera put her in, which is a sort of vague idea of a Boy, Man, Son. She's mean and a bitch and probably a tomboy and she's a girl. That's all. She doesn't want of any of that flowery pink crap and being "gracefully feminine" like Momo is, she'll still kick your teeth in. Being a girl isn't fundamentally part of her identity or her personality, but it's who she's comfortable being.

She does enjoy skirts once she feels comfortable enough to wear them. She grows her hair a bit too (because she doesn't wanna look like her mother at first, but she ends up liking the look) and puts it up in a ponytail.

Makeup is a bitch but it looks cool, so she lets Mina, Aoyama and Shinsou use her face as a canevas for their weird makeup experiments. She thinks she looks like a clown half the time though (she doesn't, she's really cute). She mostly does eyeliner, which she already knew how to do before starting her transition, and very rarely lipgloss.

She doesn't really care about having breasts or softer traits, mainly because her traits are already pretty androgynous when she looks at herself, and she's already got big pecs so like. Basically tits. It's the same, it doesn't really matter. She's happy with how her body looks, she worked to have a healthy body and she doesn't care if it's "not a woman's body" or whatever the fuck. She likes how her body is and she doesn't really care about changing it.

She thinks of using she/they (like Jirou) but doesn't exactly care about they/them? Like they're not bad to have used on her (way better than he/him) but she prefers just using she/her.

She doesn't change her first name. It means victory, so it's already perfect for her. It's her name.

Some of her friends (the ones who aren't scared of death cough cough Shinsou) call her Katsuki-chan (Kacchan is copyrighted) but most her friends call her Kats', because she let slip one time she thinks it's cute.

To end this because good lord I've been typing for some time, here's my Transfem Bakugou pinterest board. I actually have a bunch of transfem characters pinterest boards lmao

Also realizing I almost didn't talk about Izuku. Damn I've really betrayed myself as a bkdk truther. Rip.

[zukkaoru]

🪢, 🌟, 🎭, 🏳️‍⚧️, and the one that's like... what they're best at bc i forgot that emoji lol + gin and (if you want bc you won't tell me who you wanna scream about) uhhh jouno??? idkkkkkk ilyyyyyyy MWAH

gin

🪢 A headcanon about their family

ryuu has some scattered memories of their parents, but gin has absolutely no recollection of them. all they know about their parents is what ryuu has told them. i also.. kind of like the idea that their mother died either in childbirth or shortly after gin was born from complications with the birth. ryuu knows this but it's a secret he will take to his grave bc he does Not want gin knowing

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

i kind of think they.. don't really have any big desires/dreams. they've pretty much had their course of life laid out for them since they joined the mafia at ~11-12, and that was what rescued them from their life in the slums. that gave both them and ryuu a stable income, food, shelter, etc etc so gin has never really.. stopped to think what they might want outside of that. they're prepared to live and die in the mafia bc the mafia saved them and the only lives they've known are 1. struggling to live in the slums and 2. being with the mafia. there was never any other option in their mind. and the mafia is fine, they have friends there, the money provides more than enough, they're good at what they do. but i also wouldn't say it's the life they would want if they could pick something else ykwim

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

gin's lies tend to be more omission of the truth rather than outright lies. they're very good at simply staying quiet and not volunteering information that could be helpful, especially if it means protecting someone they care about. they have a perfect blank stare that makes you believe they have absolutely no idea what you're talking about when they actually have all of the answers you're looking for

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

transmasc gin i love you.......

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

i think they're good at copying other people's handwriting. if you need a signature forged, gin is The person to go to

jouno

🪢 A headcanon about their family

my hc is that jouno was. an accident child. they don't have any other siblings and their parents weren't exactly,, Wanting kids. and while they were never outright abusive or detrimentally neglectful, jouno could. kind of tell. especially with their dad i think that they were.. not planned for and a little bit unwanted

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

tecchou. or, more broadly, someone who stays by their side despite them being mean and instinctively trying to push everyone away

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

listen to me. jouno will lie about anything and everything and then they will turn around and call out anyone who tries to do the same back to them. jouno will lie about what they ate for breakfast if they think teruko is going to laugh about it for any reason. no they didn't eat lucky charms, they had toast. and sometimes the lies just sort of,, slip out. bc they're a very private person in general so it's just so easy for them to lie about things in order to hide the truth of who they are and avoid questions they don't want to answer

🏳️‍⚧️ A gender headcanon

they are nonbinary!! probably agender, i think they just. don't feel any attachment to gender at all tbh

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

they're very good at remembering little details about people - things that have only been offhandedly mentioned once. typically only the people they care about (i.e. the other hunting dogs) but also if they think some random note on a criminal they're tracking down may be important, they'll subconsciously store it away for late

[archangelmacaron]

more Noe analysis has been requested but I'm thinking on what I want to go feral about. 🤔

Like honestly what I MOST want to yell about is Fanbox, BUT

1) it is definitely not meant to be shared, which I will respect by being vague about specific things I am referring to.

2) you cannot fucking paywall things so most fans will never encounter them and it can't be publicly discussed without violating those terms, and expect it to be treated as canon (which maybe he doesn't, idk). While obviously people respect Word of God, to me if it's not specifically stated in the game as a canon fact, rather than one interpretation of events, I will treat it like any other person's opinion. I don't want to talk about my take on events like what the ending means or potential post canon and get interrupted with "but behind a paywall, he said—" I literally do not care and you should not either ESPECIALLY when their take directly contradicts some things that were expressly canon, like how a certain character who gave up everything for another wouldn't dare commit a crime they had already commited once before like dude seriously. SERIOUSLY?

"Death of the Author" is pretty important and I want to talk about what was actually in the work and how people interpret that, not feel stuck by paywalled opinions expressed after the fact. (I mean if the literal majority of your audience has one read on something, and you have to say 'actually I wanted this to mean x' maybe you really sucked at expressing that? Idk!)

3) frankly getting extremely obvious he is so fucking over Noe and IMO, has been kinda mean spirited about it in an effort to get people to shut up and stop asking because he only cares about working on his new game. Which he basically said directly in the latest that he considers it "shelved."

Which I am sympathetic to to a point! It's clear he worked on this game for a near full decade, and I think scope creep meant it really started to get away from him towards the end and in some areas, it really shows. I know how it feels to tackle a project that gets so overwhelming, but also how frustrating it is where you already released half so you can't go back and "correct' anything you realize now is plot breaking. That can really drag your enthusiasm to an absolute halt!

What I am NOT ok with is acting surprised that people are giving you money because they enjoyed your most popular project and thus want to know more about it, rather than your new COMPLETELY DIFFERENT project that's had like concept art and a few screenshots released. Like sorry dude but the crossover between people who like story and character driven adventure games and those that like daughter waifu sims is extremely small and maybe you should be nicer to the people who will support ALL your projects.

4) The big one. This all combined has made my friends sad. I am not ok with that. I don't see how you can answer a fan's hopeful question about a character's future with a "ok so like I know it's canonically possible but actually here's (my opinion) on why it isn't, so consider that canon-compliant avenue CLOSED :)" I just feel like he is annoyed by how much these characters mean to people. And to me it is heartbreaking to see the wind just pushed out of someone's sails! It would have been so easy to say "it's up to you, I'm done with this story!" you know?

5) I am starting to feel like he "accidentally'd" into all the best parts rather than wrote them with intention, which isn't a fair take. He's probably just ready to move on and happens to be being kind of a dick about it.

And in closing:

6) the lack of enthusiasm is apparent not just in fanbox, but in the total silence in terms of the complete pack or promotions beyond occasionally rting a sale post. This concerns me and I HOPE I am completely wrong, and there are more things behind the scenes going on like fanbook vol 2, the light novel continuation, etc. but I feel like there isn't despite a worldwide release being prime time to push things like merch. The manga hiatus isn't on him, but the fact that even the most hardcore fans didn't even know a chapter was released in Feb says something!!!

Ok i am done lol. Hopefully no one is offended (not like he'll ever see this!) but it was just a good time to vent.

[poisedpen]

✒ Planning...for the Neurodivergent!

I think that for most people the term "planning" conjures pictures of perfectly executed layouts and neat, tidy handwriting. While these things are certainly impressive, sometimes it feels like it prioritizes style over function. Journaling, and by extension, planning, does NOT have to be expensive, time consuming, or perfect.

When I first started dipping my toes into the community a few years ago, I got probably two weeks into a proper “bullet journal” before I gave up. My ink smudged, my stickers peeled, and I found that spending hours making the perfect layout was sucking away my limited time.

As a newly diagnosed and treated ADHD-er, I have found some success in a printed planner. All the months, weeks, and days are already laid out for me, and I have the time at work to fill out everything I need.

But what about someone who doesn’t have the luxury of down time at work? What about someone who gets overwhelmed just THINKING about all of the long-term projects and obligations they have on a day-to-day basis? A chronic procrastinator? Someone whose phone’s to-do list is just BURSTING with tasks, but there’s no prioritization?

Introducing…the pocket notebook!

The main objective of this is to find a pocket notebook that is portable, slim, and enjoyable to write on. Field Notes are quite popular among the stationery crowd, but they’re also on the pricey side for only 48 pages. If you have the money and you enjoy them, go for it! But there could very well be something just as perfect for you waiting at the dollar store.

Yeah, it’s small, and therefore may not be the most comfortable thing to write in. However, it’s not truly meant to be a full-blown journal. No– instead of shoving it into an endless to-do list or note on your phone…you are making your idea tangible.

Your phone, and by extension all of its notifications and applications and features, is designed to distract you. By removing all of that and placing a simple, analog tool in front of you…it is, in theory, easier to focus on what matters.

Think of a cool story idea at work? Jot it down. Remember something you need to do on the way home? Birthdays? Events? Goals? Jot it down. There are no rules. If it's important to you, keep it.

The pocket notebook isn’t really intended to be a super-organized or coherent space for your thoughts. It’s a catch-all for things that might slip your mind later. Then, when you get a chance to rest at the end of your day, you can look back and transfer that idea to something a little more organized. This can be a more structured planner, a journal, a story document, a discord chat, etc.

But hey…maybe that’s still not your cup of tea. You don’t have the time to sit down and reflect on your day. You don’t want to have to organize everything into neat little boxes. It’s just a concept at this point, but…I might have something for you.

✒ MY PSEUDO-PLANNER METHOD

This is in part adapted from other methods I’ve seen people use, but specifically made with my partner’s struggles in mind. He has been using his phone’s default to-do list to write down tasks, but by doing so other things get pushed to the bottom. There’s no real way to “prioritize” them, and after years of using this system there were simply so many that he didn’t know where to start.

So, after a little bit of nudging, I had my partner write down every single thing in his phone’s notes and to-do list in the front of his pocket notebook. Since he struggles with prioritization, I went ahead and did the following steps for him. (If you struggle with this and have a friend, partner, or family member willing to do the same thing, definitely use them as a resource!)

✒ STEP-BY-STEP PROCESS

I chose three things my partner NEEDED to get done before a certain deadline (In this case, seeing his parents for Thanksgiving).

I transferred them to a clean page and wrote the due date at the top.

I crossed those tasks off of the task masterlist.

I “sealed” his task masterlist with a piece of washi tape (masking/painters tape also works great!)

I left space at the bottom of the page for additional notes he may think of throughout the week.

For many neurodivergent people, seeing a HUGE LIST OF THINGS YOU NEED TO DO is the single most discouraging thing ever. By removing the list of things from normal view, I’m relying on the theory of “out of sight, out of mind”. Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t still get those things done! It’s more about tricking your brain into only thinking about the most important things you have to do in that time period. And then...getting the satisfaction of crossing them out once they're complete.

I have actually been using a method quite similar to this for my full planner. I tape folded half-pages full of long term goals, purchases, and other lists to my monthly page so that I can go back and reference them when I feel up for a new task. By keeping them hidden from my regular view it helps me feel less anxious about ALL THE THINGS I WANT TO ACHIEVE and I can instead focus on the short-term necessities.

(Please excuse my mess...I'm moving into a Hobonichi Cousin for 2024, and figuring out my process in this cheap planner in the meantime!)

✒ OTHER TIPS

Pick a notebook you like! Paper smoothness, paper thickness, size, lined, dotted, gridded, etc.

Use a writing utensil you enjoy! Rollerball, fountain pen, sharpies, pencil, whatever!

Think of it as a sensory experience when it comes to the above. If you enjoy the act of it, you’re more likely to do it!

If you are able to carry around two differently-colored pens, use one to underline/add contrast for readability.

Use a paperclip to keep your place.

If you have it available, use sticky notes for tentative plans that aren’t set in stone yet.

You ARE allowed to tear pages out, cut them, modify the cover, etc. NO RULES! It's your spce.

You can prevent bleedthrough to other pages by keeping a thin, paper-sized object behind your page. (Like shitajiki/pencil boards)

✒ CONCLUSION

The main point behind EVERYTHING I’ve written here is that digital tools aren’t for everyone. Notion, Obsidian, Trello, etc. are great resources, and there are many people who have great success when using them. However, I am sure there are many other people like my partner and I who have developed a kind of “clutter blindness” to things that aren’t immediately in front of them.

You aren’t stupid for needing things broken down into exact, detailed steps. You aren’t inherently irresponsible because you miss deadlines or misplace important information. You need accessibility. The world may not be built for people like us, but there are so many ways you can learn to help yourself achieve your goals

(Please feel free to add your ideas and modifications to this post! I'd love to see what your methods are-- perhaps they might help me, as well!)

[nonclassyparty]

this chapter was so so good. i’m glad to see how well mc is handling the 180 her life had taken. i was a bit unsure about mingi. all of their moments together were super cute but i also couldn’t take my mind off of how they had ended a couple years. but hopefully they can get to talking about it with no difficulty (whys it so hard for everyone to just TALK omg 😔) and wooyo omg. he waits until the ending of the story to start showing his ass?? you like yeosang that much to come at your friend like that?you’ve known him for two business days!! 🤨 (i’m exaggerating, i know) i thought mc was starting to warm up a little bit to yeosang as well then i remembered all they’ve been through and then i thought hell i’d still resent his ass as well fuck both of them. and last but not least then the ending 😶‍🌫️… you’re telling me the mf has money now, while she doesn’t oh no i’m about to end it all. and judging from the last dialogue spoiler you gave us and how HE showed up in this current chapter i might just skip it the very last chapter to spare myself 🫠

i love how in your writing you never leave a stone unturned. i feel like other writers would’ve probably forced a happy ending but honestly speaking there’s still so much unsaid and unsolved idk if a happy ending make sense without addressing them bc it’d come up eventually in there lives anyway.

sorry i’m rambling but i love love this story and i hope you’re always well <3 💐💐

thank you very much first of all!! <3

second of all, the yn/wooyoung/yeosang stuff is like a direct parallel to boyoung/mingi/yn and at first i didnt think of elaborating more on it (yn was just supposed to walk in on wooyo and yeo and be angry but it was supposed to be funny in the end) but then i thought just making it into a comedic scene would be an insult to her character AND that it would maybe help everybody understand how boyoung would feel if mingi choose yn, understand mingi's predicament two years ago a bit better etc it's fun to play with perspectives sometimes so i took full advantage of that here lol

the relationship with yn and mingi well...that will be talked about in the last chapter but mingi is trying to fix what he's done with actions rather than words and yn is accepting it at a surface level no matter how much it bothers her bc she likes him that much but a good relationship just can't be built like that because the old unspoken problems you've pushed away will find a way to resurface sooner or later. i wanted to write mingi facing this shit head on and addressing it right away but it's just not in his character bc he does not like conflict, admitting he hurt someone or being vulnerable and revealing WHY he hurt someone and he'll avoid it until he's pushed to the last resort.

and san doesn't have that much money...yet but he is a lot more successful than his peers. it was always mentioned how he was a top student in all his classes so him finding success pretty fast after college isnt that surprising 😭

[gotouhitori]

Bocchi the Rock and K-On

So while waiting for more Bocchi the Rock episodes to air, I've been re-watching K-On; the two have some superficial similarities in that they're both about high school girls forming a band, so it's fun to compare the two. While the two have their similarities, they are actually quite different. Most fundamentally, K-On is a slice-of-life comedy show with a playing-in-a-band theme, whereas Bocchi the Rock is leans more heavily on jokes but is also more seriously about progressing as a band than K-On is. And musically, K-On is more pop while Bocchi is more rock.

And then we've got the characters. In terms of character archetypes and traits there's a lot of the same elements in each, but they don't map neatly from one show to the other. The first comparison I'll draw is Bocchi to Mio; I've commented to a friend of mine that Bocchi is basically if you took away Mio's bass and gave her a guitar, and turned the social anxiety up to 11. And this is mostly true, but not actually the whole story. In primary school (and throughout middle school too) Mio had Ritsu to give her a push on the back where needed, to help her come out of her shell, and besides that just always be there as a friend. Bocchi didn't. If Mio didn't have a Ritsu she probably wouldn't be as bad as Bocchi, and if Bocchi had a Ritsu she probably wouldn't be as well off as Mio, but still.

Ritsu and Nijika are the most similar. They're both generally cheerful and energetic, both drummers, and both the driving force behind the band forming. And both starting by recruiting the bassist, at that. But they do have their differences; Nijika is a bit more well-adjusted generally, Nijika's more feminine whereas Ritsu's a bit of a tomboy, Nijika's decently book smart while Ritsu lives down to the stereotype of drummer intelligence, etc.

Each series has its token rich girl; K-On has Tsumugi and Bocchi has Ryou, but they are vastly different characters in addition to playing different instruments. Tsumugi is a bit ditzy in a growing up generally insulated from commoner concerns kind of way but generally fairly bright, whereas Ryou is... not. Ryou is similar to Yui in that she can only be any good at one thing at a time; if she focuses on her studies she can't play the bass to save her life, and if she focuses on music she bombs horribly in her tests. Ryou also gets an obscenely high allowance, but immediately spends it all on some fashion and a lot of music equipment, so she's got basically nothing for daily necessities... actually resorting to eating weeds and occasionally hitting the other band members up for money.

Which leaves Kita and Yui. Both are generally cheerful, outgoing, funloving, able to make friends with basically anyone they meet. Both guitarists and vocalists, though Kita's the full time vocalist while Yui's only part time. Azusa is kind of left out here; she has no real equivalents in Bocchi the Rock. I suppose there is some of her drive to take things seriously and progress as a band in Nijika, though.

Oh, and both series are very yuri. This is very important to note.

[away-ward]

Ranty text block: Another scene i remembered from rereading corrupt and punk57: ryen describing rika's clothes at their condo building(?) that led to me thinking, "why do people always put rika edits in the best, sexiest and prettiest clothes? Because as much as this girl was said to be "pretty", her fashion style was ugly as a rat, like shitty af. She always looks like a 33 years old extremely rich suburban mom who got no taste in fashion and wore dull ass colours but still everything is designer thing" Like that was my first thought every time i saw Rika edits, and how i remember her in books. I almost confuse her with em's high school no-choice aesthetic because of how bad pd tried to make rika look "not other rich girls" by not dressing up much and kept on going with the narrative of "oh alex looks hot, but me (rika)? Ew" 🙄 im sick of stories like this because it reminds me of Rubi (a telenovela) where Rubi's hot rich girl friend kept on complaining about her looks, and was jealous of rubi (similar to alex's style here) when that girl friend can literally hire someone to style her, or build up her confidence and wear something even sexier or hotter than rubi (alex) because they got all the money that rubi (alex) never had. But nooooooo they had to wear ugly ass outfits 😭 i hate it here. Aside from that, i can totally see Winter and Banks rocking hot and pretty designer wears, because all thats left for winter was for someone to doll her up and banks to feel safe in her feminity and trying out more quality clothings, but Rika??? That girl really needs some personal stylist because why was she be making so much money and still be dressing like that? 😭 i genuinely hate it!!! This is a rich people story, why was she looking raggedy?? She could literally be cute and hot with her style, but noooo her outfits always gotta be ratty af, even elon musk has got more style than her and it's saying something because elon's outfits WERE.NOT.IT. I cant imagine how yikes rika looks every time she wore outfits that dont match her luxurious cars (especially before she met alex, and sometimes, even after, case in point, that punk57 scene), and readers supposed to look at rika and be like "wow, fashionista!" when she never really gave us anything to fawn over for?!! Her fashion is as dull as her personality, and she had no valid excuses for it because all her life, she was always sureounded by beauty and luxury. Emmy had excuses bcause of her lacking money & at home situation etc., but rika? It couldnt happen Only for two reasons being one, she didnt want to be called a slut or looked down by her society, or two, because trevor that scum kept on harrassing her on what she should do, and because she was a pushover, it was har to not push him away, BUT! BUT! but even then, there's so many hot, cute, pretty or beautiful modest fashion??? Modest fashion is one of THE most popular style for rich people because they associate modesty = being classy, so i still dont understand why rika was raggedy. Idk this really irks me. I'll let you know if i have more irk-inducing things from DN. Though i don't think i have the energy to shit on killswitch because that book was exhausting 😭 damon torrance was exhausting, i pray for winter, every five seconds to get away from him.

Out of all the character’s, Rika’s style has struck me as the oddest. I can only recall two specific moments that made me question things.

One was when she was getting ready for school and she wore like boots, a sweater, and a scarf. Which, knowing it’s October and is probably a bit chilly, isn’t all that odd but I felt weird to layout her outfit like that.

The other was in Hideaway when she shows up for the sleepover and she’s wearing an avocado shirt and matching shorts, while everyone else was in sexy wear. It felt very “I’m main character/not like other girls” energy. And Michael comments that his mom bought those for her and he can’t believe she still has them, like it’s so cute. I couldn’t shake the idea that PD saw these PJs in rl and thought they were cute, so immediately wanted to put Rika in them because Rika’s soooo quirky like that.

I tend to let it go a bit in Corrupt, because I thought some of Rika’s storyline and character development was getting away from people that controlled her.

Her fashion style was ugly as a rat, like shitty af. She always looks like a 33 years old extremely rich suburban mom who got no taste in fashion

Remember in the first scene when she’s racing back to the Crists’ and Michael’s mom as laid out a white dress for her to wear. Rika isn’t that excited for it?

It feels like Rika dresses like a 33-year-old woman with no taste because she’s being dressed by a woman in her 40s who thinks this is what a young lady of a respectable class who is going to marry her son would wear. And Rika specifically indicates that it’s not her style as a 19-year-old who wants her independence. So, I can let it go.

Meeting Alex, who is the same age as her, was probably an eye opener for how someone who decides how they present themselves could dress. It is no excuse for the rest of the series, but like I said, I never paid attention to Rika’s style. I never saw her as a “fashionista” and in fact, if any of the characters were, I’d say it was Alex.

Rika could have afforded a personal shopper or a stylist, but I think after breaking away from the Crists’ control and Michael wanting whatever she wanted, it meant she dressed however she wanted without thinking “is this fashionable?” Which is fine. I don’t really care, and I don’t have a fashionable bone in my body. I can’t expect rich people to have it just because they have money, and I wouldn’t expect all people in their 20s to care. Fashion and being stylish is such a person-to-person thing, so I guess it never really mattered to me.

It couldnt happen Only for two reasons being one, she didnt want to be called a slut or looked down by her society, or two, because trevor that scum kept on harrassing her on what she should do, and because she was a pushover, it was har to not push him away,

The slut shaming and Trevor were most definitely factors in how Rika dressed in her teenage years. Probably past down from Trevor’s mom, like I said before, the idea of this is how a young lady dresses.

So maybe like with Em, the rejection of clean, modest style to a slouchier style was a way of rebellion for Rika? I don’t know.

Thanks for the rant. It was fun to read about something that I didn’t notice. Since we’ve been talking about style recently (or me and other anons), maybe it’ll be fun to go through and explain how I do picture the girl’s style like how I did with Em. You guys can offer your thoughts and HCs as well! Maybe we’ll come to a consensus.

[keanureevesisbae]

Rich certified daddy in his late 40s early 50s!Henry Cavill x College student!fem reader

Summary: You were on your spring break and one day, you and your friends end up on a yacht and... the man who owns said yacht, is quite something.

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: fingering, eating out, sex, loud sex, doggy style, squirting, orgasms

A/N: I know the girls in the pictures are white, but these pictures had the sets I had in mind and i didn't want to make them black and white because that didn't fit the aesthetic. Please know that the reader in the rest of this drabble is totally neutral, as I didn't describe hair color, skin color, etc.

This was already the best time of your life. You were in your senior year of college and finally, you had found the time—and money—to be part of a real spring break. It was filled with booze, with dancing and all while wearing different types of bikini’s, matching it with cute flip-flops, shorts and skirts.

And now, you were sitting—totally illegal and in the wrong attire—on a jet ski with your friends, all soaring over the waters. You screamed in excitement. This was so much fun. You were far of shore, however closing in on a yacht. You slowed down your jet ski and looked up. It appeared to be a party on there. Your friends and the jet ski’s were making quite the tumultuous noise, causing the guests to look over the railing, down at you. They seemed fancy and a few guys were talking to someone else, clearly eager to get your friends on board. 

They managed to succeed. Three guys helped the four of you with making sure the jet ski’s won’t drift away and after you left your dirty flip flops on the bottom of the stairs, you and your friends made your way to where the real party happened.

It wasn’t the booze fest you had been part of for the last few days. It was fancier in everything. The music, the drinks and the appetizers. You were almost afraid that what you wore screamed “tacky spring breaker”.

Your friends all gained the utmost attention of the three guys who had helped you all on the yacht. Their loafers were probably worth more than your monthly rent. 

To say you were feeling slightly out of place was a gross understatement. You grabbed something to drink and plopped on a very fancy lounge like couch. You took a sip, when you heard someone clearing their throat next to you.

There was someone sitting next to you? You had totally missed that, as you were drowning in self pity. ‘I’m sorry,’ you said, looking to your side only to make eye contact with the most handsome man you had ever seen. In between his brown hairs, were streaks of grey. His bright eyes looked intense. He wore a white blouse, however it was totally unbuttoned, revealing a hairy and broad chest. His shorts appeared way too expensive and unlike the other male party goers, he was bare foot. 

His face showed some signs of maturity and you thought he was in his forties, pushing the fifties, but it was still evident how gorgeous he was. 

You were at a loss of words. He had some whiskey in a glass and brought it to his lips. 

‘Was someone else sitting here?’ you asked.

He shook his head. ‘It’s all good, doll.’

You felt your face heating up at the sudden nickname. You took a sip of your drink and plucked your pink short, that matched your bikini. 

‘Spring break?’ he then asked.

You chuckled. ‘What gave it away? The atrocious outfit or the stench of beer and booze?’

He smirked and he looked so handsome doing so. ‘You look too colorful.’

You nodded. ‘Is this your yacht?’

‘Correct.’

‘So you’re like really rich.’

‘Something like that,’ he said. 

‘You’re kind of a cliché,’ you told him, which caused him to be interested. ‘Whiskey, a yacht, an unbuttoned blouse, handsome. The only thing that misses, is a cigar.’

‘I’ve got some downstairs,’ he chuckled. ‘I’m a walking cliché.’

‘How unoriginal.’

You discovered the handsome rich man was named Henry and he was a real looker. You hated how gorgeous he was, but what you loved about him, was that he was approachable. 

You started to sit closer and closer to him, up to a moment where you were seated on his lap, your legs draped to his left side, his large hand resting on your thigh, toying with the bottom of your short. He brought the glass to your lips, allowing you to take a sip of his whiskey, but it was so strong and not at all what you loved.

Especially not after those nearly sickening sweet drinks you had all those days. 

You had placed your hand on his chest and damn, did he feel strong. He kept staring at your lips and you felt his thumb caressing them. You parted your lips and his thumb slipped inside. With his pad, he pressed down on your tongue. ‘Good girl,’ he whispered softly, only for your ears to hear. ‘Want some more privacy?’

You nodded and as his thumb exited your mouth, you followed him like a lost puppy. He walked down some stairs and after stalking around a little bit, he closed the door behind him and you were in a bedroom. 

As you admired the art pieces that hung on the wall, you felt Henry’s fingers pull on the straps of your bikini and the flimsy material fell with a soft thud on the floor. He was still standing behind you, his lips attacking your neck, pressing soft and sloppy kisses on the delicate skin, while his hands descended from your breasts, to your waist, all the way to the hem of your short. Together with the bikini bottom, he pushed those on the floor as well and like that, you were totally naked. 

Normally, you’d never give yourself over to someone this easily, but this wasn’t just someone. There was something so mesmerizing and enchanting about Henry, you were willing to just give yourself over like that.

He pushed you on the bed. The covers felt so clean, so expensive and luxurious. You crawled back on the bed and watched him get on the mattress as wel. Gently he made you lay on your back, before he spread you legs apart. He took your entire frame in, causing you to feel a little bit exposed, but he simply patted your legs. ‘Gorgeous,’ he muttered under his breath. ‘Absolutely breathtaking.’

Henry’s lips were everywhere. Your neck, your breasts—sinking his teeth softly in your nipples—your stomach, your hips, the inside of your thighs, when finally you had enough and you pushed his head towards that aching spot.

His mouth did wonders and while you managed to keep quiet for quite some time, you can’t help but let sounds of pleasure leave your lips. No man had ever eaten you out like this before, sucked on your clitoris and made you already see stars. Right before you’d cum, he would stop, making damn sure you weren’t going to reach your high anytime soon. 

Henry smirked when he looked up as he sat up straighter, as he witnessed you panting and looking quite frustrated. First he buried one finger in, but with how desperate you were, he added another one and the digits brushed passed your sweet spot. The fingers of his other hands were assaulting your clit and you could feel it happening way too quick, your quivering legs giving it away. 

You expected him to stop, however he didn’t. You were caught blindsided by your forceful orgasm, moans filling the room. You cried out when he didn’t stop, pushing your limits. His hairs that had been so neatly styled minutes before, were covering his forehead and he lost a little bit of his perfect demeanor.

He looked way hotter now.

He replaced the fingers on your clit with his mouth, while he kept on brushing passed that spot. You tugged his hair and crushed his head between your thighs. However when you bucked up your hips as you were once again thrown over the edge and were a shaking mess, you felt an unfamiliar feeling washing over you.

Your juices squirted passed his fingers. You finally managed to push his face from your sensitive bundle of nerves and he gently pulled out his fingers. 

You had drenched the covers, but before you could apologize, he kissed you, his hand wrapped around your throat. He wasn’t exactly choking you—though he had full authorization to do so—but knowing that he could squeeze and that would do something to your airflows, made you moan in excitement.

‘Good girl,’ he whispered and you let your teeth sink in his bottom lip. The kiss turned rougher and you wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer as his hands were on your back, his finger tips digging into your skin. You tasted yourself on his lips and his bulge was prominent through his shorts.

‘Fuck me,’ you mumbled against his lips. ‘Please, I need you to fuck me.’

He only darkly chuckled, before he pulled back, undoing himself from his clothing. The clothes dropped on the floor and you nearly started drooling once your eyes fell on his hard cock. Never had you ever fucked someone who was porn star sized. 

Without words he made loud and clear he wanted you on all fours. He massaged your asscheeks after he pressed your face into the mattress, your back masterfully arched. His tip teased your slit and your moans were swallowed by the pillow. 

‘Already so needy and loud,’ he noted. He allowed you to get used to his length and girth, as he slowly slid in. He totally bottomed out, getting a tight grip on your hips and he gave you one more second, before he started to roughly pound in you. Moans were stuck in your throat, totally overtaken by the pleasure, as you stretched around his cock. 

You were on the verge again, desperately wanting to cum once more, however Henry could tell and he pulled out entirely, leaving you yearning for more. 

‘Henry,’ you whined. ‘I need you!’

You pushed yourself up, only to see he was literally pouring some whiskey in a glass. He snickered when he saw your pouts and he took a sip. You stood up from the bed and made your way over to him. You took his face in your hands, slamming your lips on him, tasting the whiskey on his lips. You let one hand slide down and you wrapped it around his cock. He clearly did not expect that, because a moan escaped his lips, as your thumb swirled around his tip.

Your knees hit the bed and before you know it, he was in between your spread legs and didn’t waste a second. He pushed himself in and you gasped, hardly used to how thick and long he was. He wasn’t so patient anymore. His lips locked with yours, his thrusts rough and the noises of his grunts, your whimpers and skin slapping against skin was all around you. 

While the party continued on the deck, he was fucking the daylight out of you.

He was close, but so were you and desperate to reach that final orgasm, you slid your hand in between your bodies, rubbing your clit so feverishly, that you were seeing stars before you knew it. You were shaking underneath his broad frame, and while it felt so sensitive for you, he was still chasing his high. His hand holding your face in his hand, kissing away the tears of your face, before looking you deep in the eyes.

His thrusts turned sloppy and he groans as you felt his seed shooting deep inside of you. He collapsed on top of you, still making sure you were able to breath, as he buried his face in your neck. It took you quite some time before you were able to move and when he softened, he pulled out and you whined at the loss of contact. 

You don’t know how long you were snuggled against him, but after awhile, you cleaned yourself up and decided to get dressed again. The two of you barely shared any words, but right before you left the room, he gave you a kiss and a smack on your bottom, causing you to squeal.

You walked back onto the deck, only to see your friends staring at you with wide eyes. ‘What?’ you asked.

‘We heard you having lots of fun,’ one of your friends noted.

‘Never expected you to be so loud,’ another said.

Oh my, had you been that loud? You started to stammer, but then two strong arms wrapped around your waist and when you look over your shoulder, you saw Henry with a smirk plastered on his handsome face. He kissed your temple. ‘We had loads of fun, didn’t we, darling?’

Your friends were surprised to say the least, because they were literally at a loss for words as they were gawking at what was unfolding in front of them.

Somehow you forgot all about your humiliation, because you nodded simply. ‘We had fun,’ you agreed.

He brought his lips to you ear and asked: ‘You need to go back to your hotel or can you stay the night for some more fun?’

You smiled before you whispered for his ears only: ‘I can always stay the night with you.’

☀︎ ☀︎ ☀︎

Taglist: @diegos-butt // @cherry-gemz // @crazybutconfidentaf // @sillyrabbit81 // @thelastsock // @enchantedbytomandhenry // @lyrarodriguez // @islacharlotte // @summersong69 // @sunshine96love // @oddsnendsfanfics // @gearhead66 // @xobriellaxo24 // @xuxszx // @liecastillo // @sofiebstar // @eldarwen333 // @omgkatinka // @abschaffer2 // @pterodactylterrace

[ijustwant2write]

Runaway-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @dialnfornoir​)

Masterlist

Summary: On her brisk walk home, (Y/N) witnesses a brutal Peaky Blinder attack, attempting to run away when Finn Shelby comes after her, only to sweep her off her feet.

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name 

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Violence, fighting, blood, fluff

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Come on (Y/N), not even one drink? We won't even make you stay, just the one!" my friend moaned as I denied their proposal of going to the Garrison.

"You said that last time, and I ended up staying until early hours." I laughed.

They all put their hands together as they started begging. I also laughed at this, embarrassed by the attention that was suddenly on us.

"No, seriously. I have to be good with money this month. Thanks to you lot, I'm having to be frugal for the rent."

They sighed."Fine, we won't make you come. But you will be missed. Just get home safe, OK?"

"I will. You too, please don't get too drunk and end up sleeping outside."

"That was one time!"

I shook my head as we giggled, waving goodbye when I turned to walk home. We had just finished work, so it was still relatively light out; I would say it was less dangerous to walk alone, but we did live in Small Heath. Yawning after the long, boring shift, I adjusted my coat around me, trying to keep warm. All I wanted was a good dinner, get cleaned up and snuggle into bed, maybe read a few chapters of the book I had if my eyelids could stay open. I was only in my early twenties and already feeling like an old woman.

Home wasn't far, a good twenty minute walk, which could be a bad thing if it was raining, a lovely stroll if not. I lived in the better part of Small Heath (if there even was one), walking home from work had never been an issue. Until I heard the unfamiliar sounds of desperate begging and crying, as well as thumps and slaps of skin of skin contact. My eyes widened, heart beat accelerating when I realised someone was begging for their life. There was no other way home for me, I had to take this route. What I should have done was turn around to join my friends for that drink, but the natural human tendency to be curious took over. As I cautiously continued my way home, I couldn't help but glance down the alleyway behind a row of houses, spotting four young boys surrounding an older man, who looked like he was being beaten to a pulp by one of them. I froze, having never seen a brawl like this up close. It was as if I were delayed, somehow taking ages to register that I had to leave before they spotted me.

Unfortunately one of their heads snapped up to look at me, tapping his friends on the shoulder, pointing at me as he shouted for them to stop. My legs still wouldn't move, staring at the man who's face was soaked red with his own blood. It wasn't until one of the young men started approaching me that I sprinted away, suddenly terrified about what could happen to me.

I cursed myself for being such a bad runner, as well as the shoes I was wearing. My lungs were working incredibly hard, my throat drying up whilst my mind panicked as it tried to remember which way was home. I let out a scream as the boy grabbed me, crying out in pain when they pushed me against the brick wall. Attempting to scramble out of their hold was useless, they were pushing their whole weight on me, I had no escape.

"(Y/N)?" he said my name.

My eyes widened, realising who had a hold of me. It was Finn Shelby.

"(Y/N) (Y/L/N)? We went to school together. You might not remember me, but we definitely did."

"Of course I remember you! You're Finn fucking Shelby.”

"Oh right."

"Please don't hurt me."

He looked confused."Hurt you? Why would I do that?"

"Well, you're currently pinning me against a wall, and I'm finding it a bit hard to breathe if I'm honest."

He glanced down, quickly pushing himself away from me. I tried to hide getting my breath back, letting out a quick cough. It seemed he wasn't going to hurt me, and he wasn't being sadistic about that phrase either.

"I'm sorry. You alright?"

I slowly nodded, still wanting to be on the safe side.

"I remember you from school. Obviously changed a lot, though I have seen you from time to time."

"Right."

"Look, uh, what you saw back there, I need you to forget it."

"Finn," I was scared to say his name but I did anyway,"you almost killed him."

"You know I'm a Peaky Blinder, right?"

"How could I not? And are you trying to justify what you did?"

"(Y/N), he ran a brothel using children."

"Oh."

"I mean, you couldn't have known that, so I can see how that looks from a different perspective."

"Well, I totally agree with your actions then."

"I still need you to keep quiet about the whole thing."

"Um, of course."

"Where were you headed?"

This was the longest conversation I had ever had with Finn, with a Peaky Blinder. I briefly remember him as a child, you never do have specific memories at such a young age, though I probably played with him during break time.

"Home."

"Let me walk you."

"No, honestly it's fine, it's not far."

"I insist. Part of my apology for scaring you earlier."

"Part of your apology?"

"Yeah, I'm taking you out for drinks tomorrow."

I started thinking I might have been in a dream."Sorry?"

"Do you always act this surprised at what people say? A catch up drink."

"That's alright, really, if you're trying to make it up to me-"

"Come on, just one?"

It was like deja vu.

"If you're busy tomorrow, we can always go tonight. Yeah, you know what? Let's do that instead!"

"No, Finn, really I'm fine."

"I won't take no. Please, it'll be nice, I promise all I'm asking for is a drink."

I felt obligated to go, still in a bit of shock from what happened. But my friends were at the Garrison, if they saw me with Finn they would think I was ditching them, and what would it look like for me to be walking in with a Shelby?! However, I felt bad when I saw how happy Finn was; and even if he tried anything later I would undoubtedly slap him, I wasn't afraid of that (I tried to convince myself). When I agreed, his smile grew even bigger, instantly heading towards the pub.

I was trying to focus on what he was babbling on about, only my mind was preoccupied with the dreaded stares of my friends. That was one fo the worst things you could do as a girl, ditch your friends for a boy. Then there would be questions about how I met him, why didn't I tell them, why didn't I bring him along to drinks etc. I'd look like any other desperate girl that tried to cling onto the arm of any Shelby, desperate for a taste of the dangerous, gangsta life, even if it was just for one night.

As we walked in, I felt sick, immediately spotting my friends on their usual table they always tried to grab. They hadn't seen me yet, so I attempted to hide behind Finn, keeping my head down as we stood at the bar.

Finn was served first before anyone else."Whiskey Harry, and you?"

"Um, wine please."

"Just put them through the window, yeah?"

I was confused when we walked to the private room, it felt like I was trespassing. Though this gave me a good hiding place from my friends, chancing to glance back at them before disappearing. They still hadn't seen me.

Finn casually sat down, looking relaxed. I stood, not sure whether to join him, which was a stupid thing to think when he had invited me.

"Are you going to stand there the whole time?" he chuckled.

I said nothing as I sat down opposite him, not wanting to become trapped in the booth with him. I still wasn't sure what to say once seated, hating that this could become awkward at any second.

"Are you OK? You seem a bit shaken up still." he asked.

"I'm fine." I squeaked out, knowing he could see right through me.

"You're all nervous, what's wrong?" he smirked.

I sighed."My friends are out there."

"Oh, well go tell them to join us."

"No!" I snapped too quickly."Look, I said no to drinks earlier, hence why I was on my way home, and I was scared what they would think or feel if they saw me waltz in with you."

"Don't want to be seen with a Blinder?"

"No, just didn't want them to think I chose a boy over my friends."

He gave me a pointed look.

"And I guess it would seem strange if I suddenly walked back in with a Blinder."

"Why did you say no in the first place?"

"Because money is tight. That was another reason I was hesitant to come, honest."

"You're not paying (Y/N)."

"Oh, Finn-"

"No, because I literally get this stuff for free." the small window into the room opened."Speaking of."

He reached over and grabbed our drinks, handing mine to me before clinking the glasses together. Unlike Finn, who threw the whole drink back, I sipped on my wine, and god was it good. He slammed the glass back down onto the table, letting out a satisfied breath.

"So what have you been up to since school?"

"Well, I've got a job at this clothes shop, you might have passed it but we only deal with women’s clothing, so I doubt you’ve been in. Uh, I actually started there as a shop assistant after I left school, you know, running errands and doing the little things no one else wanted to do. Then they started giving me proper jobs, I’m also a book keeper now and-” I glanced at Finn, realising that I was rambling,“-sorry, I’m talking too much.”

“No, no you’re not.” he chuckled, waving a hand in the air.

“Long story short, I work in a clothes shop. What about you?”

I closed my eyes as soon as I finished my sentence, wincing at my stupidity.

“I didn’t mean, I wasn’t trying to be smart or pry, obviously I know...no I don’t know...”

“You’re cute when you stumble over your words.”

I wasn’t expecting that.“E-excuse me?”

Before things could get any more awkward, the door opened, making us both jump. I felt my heart drop down into the pit of my stomach when I saw who it was, and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me; his brothers were here.

“What the fuck are you doing in here Finn boy?”Arthur asked (if you didn’t know all their names, you had to be incredibly simple).

“Failing to get another bird in your bed?” John smirked.

“Shut up John.” Finn spat.“This is (Y/N), she’s an old friend from school.”

They filtered in. John scoffed.“Surprised you remember anything about school. Have you asked him what five pus five is?”

John and Arthur laughed as they sat down opposite us, Thomas standing besides the window for the drinks. I clasped my hands together as they started to shake out of nerves. I was in a room with the Shelby brothers, the men who ran one of the most feared gangs in England, and I had no clue what to do with myself. 

“Um, I think I should go.” I pathetically mumbled out.

“Don’t be rude Finn,” Thomas said,“show the lovely, young lady out.”

Finn was glaring at his brothers as we stood. I slowed down my steps so I didn’t appear to be running away from them. Finn opened the door for me, and I felt weightless as soon as I stepped out of that room. He followed me out, running a hand down his face.

“I’m sorry about them. They’re just being their usual stupid selves.” he apologised.

“It’s alright, really. Don’t tell them they bothered me or anything because they really didn’t.”

“You don’t have to worry. They won’t do anything to you because we had a drink together.”

“Sorry, just not used to...”

“Meeting a gangster?”

I hummed in agreement.“Yeah.”

“Look, I definitely need to go back in there. But I liked this. Apart from how we bumped into each other.”

“Yes, that could have been different.”

“I would like to do this again though.”

“You would?”

“There you go again, acting all surprised. How about this weekend?”

“I-I’m free this weekend.”

“Great. I’ll pick you up at six on Saturday.” he smiled at me, turning to go back into the private room before calling the bartender.“Oh, Harry, another wine for my friend.”

He winked at me, then disappeared into the room. I heard heckling and teasing from his brothers. I could feel that my cheeks were heating up from blushing, though I also couldn’t help but smile. Thanking the bartender for the wine, I quickly took it, freezing when I saw my friends staring at me. Sighing, I took a big gulp of the drink before making my way towards them. This was going to be a longer night than I thought.

[naughtyneganjdm]

Caught in the Middle - Chapter 1

Summary: Daryl Dixon finds himself head over heels for the new teacher at the local high school that he works at, but she has eyes for Negan.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), Daryl Dixon, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33634642/chapters/83581864

Warnings: Swearing, etc.

Notes: This is going to be another short story. I'm going to attempt to keep the chapters shorter so I can get through this story pretty fast. I was talking to a friend about something and this idea kind of came to me. I know it's kind of different, but I plan on switching POVs frequently so Daryl is not the main character of this story. There are three main characters. Negan, Daryl and Y/N. Hopefully you guys like it!

Y/N means your name or whatever name you want to put in there!

There weren’t a lot of things in the world that caught Daryl Dixon’s attention. For the most part, he had closed himself off in general. After the life he had growing up, he had become cold to things in the world. He’d get up, go to work, head home, sleep and then repeat. So, for someone to really catch his attention was a pretty big deal. Especially since Daryl wasn’t one for relationships or being attracted to people. Relationships were too much work and he just didn’t have the patience for them. Well, that was until someone new arrived at work. After that, it kind of changed everything for him. Which surprised the hell out of him, but he looked forward to every minute he got to spend with this new person.

Daryl was the auto shop teacher at the local high school. Was it a cool job? Fuck no. Was he good at it? Probably not as good as he could have been, but he was good at fixing things. When he was younger teaching was not something he would have ever pictured himself doing. Hell, he wasn’t exactly the most social person, so to say it was a struggle sometimes would be a massive understatement.  

When a friend offered him a job after an I owe you situation, Daryl quickly snagged that shit up. He would have been stupid to not take this job. With his background, he was lucky to have a job as it was. Every day, he would go to work and just do what he had to in order to get through the day. He never really got close to the other teachers, but he observed from afar. Watching people and learning things without being a part of them was something Daryl had become good at. The students liked him well enough, but it wasn’t like he was trying to make friends or be everyone’s favorite. He just did what he had to do and that was it. Going above and beyond was not Daryl’s style.  

A few months ago, a new teacher had transferred to their school and Daryl felt like they kind of immediately hit it off. They had literally run into each other in the hallway on her first day when she was lost. Daryl was coming out of his classroom looking at his phone and nearly knocked her over onto the floor. When he caught her, there was something about her smile that had caught his attention. When she had asked him for a tour of the school, he was eager to do it. Not that he was very good at it. Daryl was never a man of many words, but around Y/N he found himself opening up more and more. That was the nice thing about this girl. She made him step out of the box and be something more than he usually was.

Every day the two of them would find time to talk to each other and he relished in every moment of it. It became something where he started looking forward to going to work. He was excited to wake up every day. It was all because of her and the weekends were the worst because he didn’t actually get to see her. They texted each other, but the weekdays had become his favorite thing.

An overwhelmed breath fell from his throat when he looked over his shoulder after hearing the group of loud, boisterous laughter filling the bar that he was in. This was new for him. A lot of the teachers would get together some nights at the local bar to hang out. Of course, there were certain groups that liked to hang out more often than not. The source of the laughter stemmed from the staff favorite, Negan Smith. For some reason, every person seemed to love Negan. He always drew the attention of people and people found him hilarious. Daryl found him to be juvenile and somewhat annoying himself, but somehow, Negan was always the person people drifted to. Even being an asshole, all the students loved him as well as the teachers. Negan was the life of the party and very much the opposite of Daryl. Hell, Daryl didn’t even want to be here, but he was because he wanted to see Y/N. That’s really why he was there. It was the one time they would get together outside of work and Daryl loved being around her outside of a work setting.

Turning back toward the bar, Daryl reached out for the neck of his beer bottle and slid the bottle in front of him. It made him wonder if Y/N was actually coming tonight. Usually she would be here by now. When the laughter seemed to get louder, Daryl grumbled to himself and lowered his head. This wasn’t Daryl’s kind of scene and each moment he spent there proved that more and more.  

“Forget this,” Daryl got up from the stool and started pushing into his pockets to look for his money until he felt the sensation of someone nudging him.

“You leaving this early?” Y/N muttered when Daryl looked to her with his big blue eyes. A tiny grin expanded over his features and he immediately shook his head. Was he getting up to leave? Yes, but with her here he would reconsider that. Pulling out the stool beside him for her, Daryl felt his heart skip a beat in his chest when she moved in beside him. “Sorry I took so long. I got caught up at school checking some papers. I would have gotten it done earlier, but someone came to talk to me for a while so that kept there a little longer than I would have liked to have been there.”

“You finish everything then?” Daryl confirmed and she gave a nod before ordering herself a drink. Truthfully, he didn’t care why she was late. He was just happy to see her. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, it was pretty nice,” she answered with a simple shrug. “What about yourself?”

“Oh yeah, it was great,” Daryl lied and her eyebrows arched in curiosity when he said that. A nervous laugh fell from his throat and he shrugged.

“Oh really?” she chuckled, thanking the bartender when he came back with her drink.

“Okay, so it was just like every other day. Until now,” Daryl reached for his beer and swallowed down the last bit that was left in there. “Now that you’re here, it’s pretty great. You could brighten any mundane day for me Y/N. You know that.”

“You are so sweet,” she reached out to hook her arm around his shoulders to give him a hug and his face flushed over when she pulled away. “That was smooth. That was real smooth.”

“Well, that’s me. Mr. Smooth,” Daryl brushed his fingers through his hair to straighten it out. “But you are pretty cool. You’re the most interesting thing in this town. I tell you that.”

“And that’s why you’re my best friend here. Even if it’s not true, you are always saying things to make me smile,” she reached out to place her hand over his and she gave it a firm squeeze. “You’ve been the best to me since I transferred here. You’re the greatest. You know that?”

“Yeah?” Daryl was happy to hear that. At some point he was genuinely hoping the best friend label would progress into more, but right now he was okay with settling with that title. Just getting to be with her was more than enough right now. He didn’t want to push too hard or too fast. “I’m only saying what I believe Y/N.”

“We know I am so far from being the most interesting thing here,” she denied his statement while she took a sip of her drink that she had gotten. When the noise from the group in the back filled the bar again, they both looked back. The other teachers at the school were surrounding a pool table and Negan was obviously playing against one of the others. “You know, we should do that one day. Play a round of pool. I’m actually really good at it. We should do teams. You and I could go up against Simon and Negan.”

“Oh, yeah,” Daryl rolled his eyes, turning himself back toward the bar while she kept her eyes on the game that they were playing. “That’s really not my thing. Putting myself into the thick of that. I have no interest in being part of that group.”

“They aren’t so bad,” she suggested and Daryl looked to see to see that her focus was still locked on them. Looking over his shoulder, Daryl noticed that Negan had lifted his head and his eyes connected with hers. With an arrogant bob of his head and a bright smile, Negan gave Y/N a wink. Looking to Y/N after Negan did it, Daryl could see that it made her smile and her face flushed over. “I think you would enjoy yourself at times if you opened yourself up to it. The people at the school would really like you.”

“No one had interest in me before you were here and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t now either,” Daryl retorted with a snort when he looked back again to notice that Negan and Y/N were still staring at each other. Someone grabbed a hold of Negan to get his attention and Daryl felt his body tensing up over the moment he just witnessed. “They really aren’t that interesting Y/N. Plus, I’m not all that good at pool.”

“Well, I have a table at my home. One day you can come over and I could teach you some tricks,” she offered up, her eyes finally meeting his again. The air around them was cool and Daryl didn’t know if the chill filling his body was that or the jealousy of that stare between her and Negan.  

“That would be really cool. I’ve yet to be at your house yet you know,” Daryl reminded her and Y/N gave him a shifty look. “Well, I’ve dropped you off…”

“And I’ve asked you if you wanted to come in multiple times to hang out. Every time you turn me down,” she pointed out and he knew that he didn’t want to come in because he was afraid that he would do something stupid. It had been a long time since he was interested in someone. He didn’t want to make a mistake that made this girl leave his life forever. “You know you are welcome at my place any day. You at least know where I live. I don’t even know where you live.”

“Well, it’s not a nice place where I live,” Daryl explained with a frown knowing that he lived with his deadbeat brother. Most of the time Merle wasn’t there, but he didn’t want the one day she would come over to be one of the few times Merle came over. With his mouth, Daryl was sure that Merle would scare Y/N away forever. “It’s kind of a mess. You deserve to be in places better than that.”

“I don’t care what your place looks like. You’re my friend and I would like to spend time with you other than being here sometimes. You know that,” she professed with a shake of her head, reaching out to place her hand over his arm. “I’m not the kind of person that cares what your place looks like. I like you for you.”

“I think you’re the only person in the world that has ever said something like that to me,” Daryl confessed and he watched her roll her eyes. Obviously, she thought he was joking, but he wasn’t. That’s what was sad. No one had ever been as nice to him as she had been. How couldn’t he like this girl? She was one of the only people he had ever met that didn’t make him feel like a deadbeat or a waste of space. “You think I’m kidding?”

“Who wouldn’t like you Daryl?” she gave him a confused expression and he didn’t know how to answer that. “There is a lot of good to you.”

“The world never made me feel that way,” Daryl informed her with a weak smile before waving to order himself another drink.

“Well then the world needs to take another look. You need to throw yourself out there Daryl. You don’t have to be this loner for the rest of your life, you know?” she insisted with a shake of her head. “You deserve to be happy, just like everyone else.”

“Where did you come from?” Daryl sighed wishing like hell this girl would have dropped into his life sooner.

“You know where I came from,” she hesitantly laughed and then turned in her seat to look back at the rest of the group behind them again. “Truth be told Daryl; I like it here a lot more than I did at the old school I worked at. People here are more like family. They are friendlier. They don’t always seem like they are out to stab you in the back. People are willing to help and make you feel at home.”

“You must be talking to people I don’t know,” Daryl explained with a groan, turning on his seat to look at the crowded bar behind him.

“You don’t talk to people Daryl,” she replied with a silly glance and Daryl grunted while taking a sip of his beer. “You wouldn’t have even talked to me if I wouldn’t have run right into you on my first day here. It took me almost breaking something for you to actually talk to me.”

“Regardless,” Daryl knew what these people were like and he had no interest. No one really caught his attention or made it seem like they deserved his respect. In his opinion, most of the people at the school just liked the attention they could get. That was it. Noticing the way that Negan looked over his shoulder at stole another glance at Y/N made Daryl bite into his bottom lip. “Who did you talk to today after work?”

“What?” she muttered and Daryl could see that her attention was somewhere else and he frowned. Daryl reached out to nudge her arm and it took a second before she shook off to look over at him. “It was Negan. He’s funny. The two of us have been talking a bit over the last few weeks. The guy really likes to cook and he was bragging about his food about a month ago. Offered me some and every few days he is always bringing in things for me to try that he made. Today it was a raspberry danish that he made.”

“Oh, the guy is a good cook too, huh?” Daryl snorted, his eyes rolling when he thought about Negan and how everyone found the guy pretty much fucking perfect. Then again, he found himself super jealous at the idea of the two of them talking. Why had Y/N never mentioned the fact that her and Negan had been talking? “You know, you shouldn’t be taking food from strangers.”

“Oh come on,” she laughed, her eyebrows creasing with amusement when she gave her attention fully to Daryl. “Negan is not a stranger. I work with him and if something bad happened to me from the food, I’m not the only one he gives his food too.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you’re not,” Daryl scoffed at the idea, turning away in disgust from the rest of the people from work.

“What is it with you and Negan?” she pondered, sliding in beside Daryl elbowing him playfully while Daryl kept his head down.

“What is it with you and Negan?” Daryl repeated her question with an emphasis on the word you. His eyes narrowed and she stole another glance back over her shoulder at Negan.

“Okay, fine,” she let out a long exhale of air, lowering her head. It took a minute and she reached for her drink to quickly finish it off as if to gain courage to tell him what she wanted to say. “Since you’re you…I won’t lie to you, but you have to keep your mouth shut about it.”

Instead of saying anything, Daryl stared out at her with his confused blue eyes while her right hand spun in the air trying to come up with the right words to say, “I kind of have a crush on Negan. I know it’s silly since we’re adults and using that word is so juvenile, but I don’t know. I just find him so charming and he makes me laugh. When he smiles, I just find myself smiling, you know? Those dimples are gorgeous and he’s got a wicked sense of humor.”

“You are crushing on him?” Daryl restated what she had just said and she hushed him. Disappointment filled his entire body and his face felt exceedingly hot. An ache developed at the center of his chest and he had to pull his eyes away from her. It hurt way too much to even hear that from her. Especially since he had the biggest crush on her and yearned for more. Flicking his bar napkin aside, he rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Of course you like Negan. Everyone likes Negan.”

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head to the side noticing that Daryl no longer seemed to want to look at her. It made things a little uncomfortable because that wasn’t the reaction she thought she would get for being honest with her friend.

“I mean it makes sense that you would be like everyone else. Negan is the cool guy. The jock. The person that everyone drifts toward,” Daryl stated with a scoff hating that of all the people she liked, it was Negan. “I just thought you were a little more interesting than that.”

“Ouch,” she reached up to place her hand over the center of her chest, feigning like he hurt her with her words. “Where did that come from?”

“I just thought you were different than most people. Everyone sees Negan and their eyes just light up. He eats the attention up and people just attract to him like flies to bug zapper,” Daryl ranted hating that his jealousy was getting the better of him, but it was. “When I met you, I just thought you were someone who was attracted to something different. Like you said, you like people for who they are.”

“Just because I have a silly crush on someone doesn’t mean I’m not the same person that is your friend. You and I have gotten super close over the last few months. I think you know me better than anyone else does here,” she pointed out, hating to hear him saying the things that he was. “I just like the way that he makes me feel, you know?”

“And you’re attracted to him,” Daryl snorted knowing that there was no doubt that she was attracted to his looks by all the times he had caught her staring at Negan with heart eyes tonight. “You’re right…I know you better than anyone else here and I can promise you that you deserve better than Negan. No matter how much you love the fucking dimples.”

“Negan would never even look twice at me Daryl,” she talked down on herself and Daryl found himself upset that she would even do that. Talking illy of herself to bring up Negan made him just pissed off. “Look at him, he’s just so good looking and then there is me.”

“What was in this drink?” Daryl reached for her glass to look it over and he gave her a disgusted face when she said that. “You are fucking beautiful. I can’t believe you said that because you are absolutely gorgeous. Not only that, but you are super cool. Why wouldn’t someone like you? There is nothing wrong with you. You’re perfect.”

“Except for the fact that I crush on Negan which makes me just like everyone else,” she proclaimed, stating what he had said previously and it made him bite down on his bottom lip. Clearly it upset her that he compared her to everyone else just because she liked Negan.

“I’m just saying, with what I know about you I don’t think Negan would be your type. You take work seriously and Negan…I don’t think serious is even a word in his vocabulary,” Daryl complained about Negan knowing that he still was so upset that she was crushing on what he would consider the popular guy. God, life was still so much like high school and he hated it. He felt like a teenager instead of being a teacher that actually worked at a high school. “Like, he totally got fucking fired from this job a while back. You know that?”

“How?” her face wrinkled up in surprise when Daryl said that.

“It was like a year before his wife died,” Daryl clarified and he could see the sadness that flooded in over Y/N’s features when she heard him say that. “You didn’t know that his wife died?”

“No. No one ever mentioned that to me,” she answered honestly knowing that it wasn’t something a lot of people would open with so it made sense that she didn’t know about Negan’s late wife.  “What did she die from?”

“She got pancreatic cancer,” Daryl responded with frustration hating the way that she was looking at Negan now. Visibly it made her like Negan more and he damned himself for even saying it. “Him and his wife were at this bar one day. They got into an argument with a guy and Negan beat the fuck out of a guy here. The guy said something nasty to his wife, but he beat the guy almost to death. It was one of the student’s parents, so he ended up getting fired. Was on probation and everything. Then they found out about his wife being sick and dying. They felt bad for him and the community kind of got together to get him his job back to help take care of his wife. Who gets that fucking lucky, huh? Most people that almost beat someone to death don’t usually get people helping them like that. I can promise you when most people make mistakes, it follows them around for the rest of their lives.”

“Damn, he’s been through a lot then, hasn’t he?” she turned further in her chair to look back at Negan who was still playing a game of pool. “You wonder how he continues to be so positive and outgoing when he went through all of that.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” Daryl groaned upon hearing her say that and he could see that the story upset her. Empathizing with Negan over that story made him so angry to hear that. That wasn’t the kind of response he was expecting her. When he told her that he almost beat a guy to death, he thought she would look down on Negan. “He beat the hell out of some guy Y/N.”

“You said the guy he beat said something nasty to his wife. He was defending his wife’s honor,” she filled in the details and Daryl let out a frustrated exhale. “If someone said something bad about someone that you cared about, wouldn’t you do the same?”

“That’s beside the point,” Daryl reached to grab a hold of Y/N’s wrists to get her to look at him. “When I was a kid I lived with my older brother and my dad. My dad was always so drunk that he never got up. We didn’t have food. My brother was always gone and I was starving. People knew what my family was like, but they saw trash when they looked at me. I stole food in order to survive because I had nothing. Do you know what happened to me? I didn’t get a slap on the wrists and told to be a good boy. That stuff stuck with me my whole life. I wasn’t that poor kid that lived in a bad situation, I was that awful little boy that was a thief. No one felt bad for me.”

“Well that makes those people terrible Daryl. You were a little boy that needed help and instead they turned their head away,” she reached out to wrap her fingers around his to give them a firm squeeze. “I think…we all have our own stories. You know? There are things that I’ve…gone through. Horrible things and we all wish there was someone there that could have saved us. You know?”

“What does that mean?” Daryl saw the way she swallowed down hard and he tried to reach out to touch her, but she held her hand up to keep him from doing so in that moment. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing, I’m just saying,” she reflected the question and waved for the bartender to get her something else to drink. “Sometimes it’s nice to hear that people did what they did for Negan. I don’t usually have a lot of faith in the world, so when you hear that a community came together to help a man to help him care for his dying wife it makes you feel better about things.”

“Right,” Daryl stammered knowing that what she had just blown off made him think there were things about her that she didn’t tell him about. Now she wasn’t so much an open book, but someone who evidently had their secrets they kept to themselves. Daryl watched her toss back the drink she had gotten and he could see that their discussion had changed her a bit. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m going to go use the restroom,” she pointed over Daryl’s shoulder toward the ladies’ room and Daryl felt like he should say something to comfort her when she stood up. Something had changed in her beautiful features and he was just never very good at this stuff. With her getting ready to leave, he felt himself choking up at the idea of trying to make her feel better. “I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here,” Daryl didn’t know what the hell to say as she moved around him toward the bathroom. Tapping his hands against the top of the bar again, he tried to gather in his mind what he was going to say to her when she came back.

“Daryl!” a loud voice boomed in beside him as he felt the warmth of a body moving near him. Turning his head unhurriedly, he saw that Negan had slid in beside him and Negan’s bright smile ate up most of his face. “You are just the man I wanted to talk to.”

“Why?” Daryl scowled hating to hear a statement like that.

“How are you doing today buddy? Can I buy you a drink or something?” Negan offered attempting to call out to the bartender.

“I have a beer,” Daryl nodded toward his drink and Negan’s right eyebrow raised. Having Negan coming over to him and act like he wanted to speak to him felt weird. It certainly felt out of place. “What do you want Negan?”

“Wow. You’re a man that gets straight to the point, huh?” Negan snickered before calling over the bartender to get himself a drink. When he was done, Daryl cocked his head to the side almost waiting for Negan to speak up.

“Well, considering you’ve never had an interest in talking to me before you undoubtedly want something,” Daryl suggested making Negan’s eyes narrow out at him and Negan bit at his bottom lip. “So, what is it?”

“That’s kind of bullshit Daryl,” Negan retorted with a grunt, his eyes still hooked on Daryl’s when he reached for his drink that the bartender brought. “I’ve asked you plenty of times if you wanted to join us in a round of drinks back there or if you wanted to play some pool. You’re the one that always says no. I just assumed you wanted to stick to yourself and shit after about the fifth time of asking you.”

“Well that was a smart deduction. I’m surprised you came up with it,” Daryl snorted making Negan laugh in response after Daryl said that.

“Wow, look at the smartassery on you,” Negan seemed impressed with Daryl instead of being offended by what Daryl actually said. “Here I was thinking you were this quiet guy, but you’ve got some bite to you. I fucking like it Daryl. You should use that spicy ass attitude more often. Good for you man.”

There was nothing Daryl could say to respond to that, so instead Daryl found himself laughing as Negan reached out to pat Daryl on the back in delight, “Here I was thinking you would get fucking offended and leave me alone.”

“It takes a lot to offend me since I really don’t give a flying fuck what people think about me,” Negan assured Daryl with a wiggle of his brow. Reaching for his drink, Negan swallowed it down before slamming the glass down on top of the bar with a wince. “I actually wanted to talk to you about the new girl. I saw that the two of you were close. Are you dating? Or are you just like really good buds? Because honestly, I’m really fucking interested in her. I was thinking of letting her know I was interested, but if you two are together I don’t want to fuck that up. So I figured I would ask.”

All of Daryl wanted to tell Negan that he was dating her so that way that Daryl could have Y/N to himself. Turning away from Negan to reach for his beer, Daryl debated on what to say. God, he like Y/N so much, but at the same time he knew how much he cared about her. With her just admitting to Daryl that she had huge crush on Negan, Daryl found his heart tangled with what it should do. Taking a minute, Daryl’s eyes lifted toward the ladies’ restroom and he shook his head.

“We’re not dating,” Daryl was honest with Negan while shifting on the seat so he could look at Negan with his intense blue eyes. There was an excitement that flooded Negan’s face when Daryl said that and Daryl was damning himself for even attempting to be a good person in this situation. He wanted to be greedy. He wanted to be an asshole, but he knew that he really liked Y/N and her being happy was worth more than his own happiness. “In fact, I think if you were honest with her, she would be fucking thrilled.”

“Why is that?” Negan inquired with an arch of his thick eyebrow.

“Because she has the biggest crush on you,” Daryl told her secret, but he knew by telling Negan that would help her get something that made her happy in the end. The amusement that flooded Negan’s features made Daryl feel like the biggest loser on the planet. Instead of telling the woman he was in love with that he cared about her, he was telling the guy that she had a crush on that she liked him. Who the fuck did that? “I found that out tonight. So, there you go.”

“So, you’re okay with this?” Negan stammered with a bob of his head while speaking with a big, pearly white smile. When Daryl nodded he knew that Negan was pleased with his answer. Cussing to himself, Daryl hated him himself. So much. Why would he do that? A moment later he heard Negan let out an enthusiastic breath. “Well speak of the devil, look who it is! We were just talking about you.”

“Negan!” Daryl closed his eyes hearing the way that Y/N said Negan’s name. It was the sound of someone that was pleasantly surprised with their guest being there. “I hope it was only good things that you were talking about.”

“Is there any other way to talk about you?” Negan flirted and Daryl silently groaned to himself when Negan moved over to make room for Y/N back at the bar. Glancing beside him, Daryl could see that Negan was still rather close to her while they sat next to each other. “I was happy to see you walk in here. I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

“Well, someone made me late to checking my tests,” she reminded Negan and Negan snorted upon hearing her say that. “If it wasn’t for that person, I may have been here sooner rather than later.”

“My fault,” Negan placed his hand over the center of his chest and their eyes were hooked on each other. “I was worried that maybe my danish made you feel sick.”

“Quite the opposite actually, I think it put me in a better mood today,” she complimented Negan and Daryl found himself irritated that he had now become the third wheel. Before Negan was there, she actually acknowledged his existence, but with Negan sitting beside her Daryl realized that he may as well had been invisible. “I was hoping you would be bringing me more tomorrow.”

“See, now you’re getting greedy,” Negan teased with a cock of his head and a big, goofy smile. Daryl watched Negan while he interacted with Y/N and Daryl wished he had half of the confidence along with charisma that Negan did. “I bring you something out of the kindness of my heart and now you’re going to start expecting it.”

“It’s a compliment really,” she smiled, caressing her fingers over the back of her neck in a nervous swipe while her and Negan went back and forth. “It says you did a really good job making it and I think you’re a fantastic baker slash cook.”

“Well thank you,” Negan chuckled while he looked her over with his hazel eyes. “If it means getting to see you smile if even for a few minutes every day, I will happily bring you anything that I make.”

“Since you’re so big on sharing you should let me try it someday,” Daryl finally spoke up when they both had seemed to forget that he was there. Negan’s smile slowly faded when his eyes pulled to Daryl’s. “I mean she was gushing about your cooking skills earlier today.”

“Absolutely Daryl, I’d loved for you to try my danish,” Negan replied with a smirk and in the moment Daryl realized how awkward the whole statement actually sounded. Y/N’s laughter filled the air and Negan looked to Y/N with an amused expression. “You’re a fucking perv missy.”

“I’m sorry, the way you just said that at him felt so suggestive,” she waved her hand in the air trying to get herself to stop laughing. Daryl was embarrassed, Negan was entertained. “You can’t tell me you didn’t say it like that to not be…suggestive as hell.”

“Daryl’s a decent looking fella, I wouldn’t be embarrassed to being suggestive with him,” Negan threw his hand up in the air and she laughed harder, her hand reaching out to place over Negan’s chest. God, she even wanted to touch Negan. When Daryl would make her laugh, she was nothing like this. “You think I’m joking? I’m not. I’m not embarrassed.”

“Well at least you’re bold and honest,” she claimed before finally looking to Daryl who seemed less than enthusiastic with everything that was going on. “Without being perverted, I think you would really like his actual danish. I was surprised it wasn’t store bought.”

“Hey now, it tastes better than the store stuff,” Negan grumbled under his breath and once again before Daryl could respond Negan had her full attention again. “You can’t compare my freshly baked goods to something you would buy at a supermarket that has been sitting there for days.”

“Oh, my mistake,” she giggled and Negan reached for her to give her a big hug in his arms after they had their playful little bickering match. God, Negan was so brave. It was something that Daryl would have never done, but she didn’t seem to hate it at all.

“Do y’all want to come over and play a game with us?” Negan pointed over toward the pool table and she looked to Daryl with big eyes. It was obvious she wanted to play, but Daryl was still at a point where he had no interest. Negan was already so much better than him at pretty much everything, he didn’t want Negan to outdo him in pool too. “We’d love to have you over there.”

“Go ahead, I’ll watch from here,” Daryl offered to her seeing that she seemed upset that Daryl didn’t want to come. “I’m kind of tired and I’m not much of a pool player. So I wouldn’t be that much fun anyways.”

“Well, why don’t you just come over there and talk with a few of the other teachers? You can be near the table while I absolutely destroy Y/N,” Negan urged Daryl to still join them and almost immediately Daryl shook his head. He didn’t want to be included in something where he would have to be up close watching the girl that he was head over heels for swooning over Negan.

“Daryl, come on,” she reached for his hands and Daryl shook his head once more. “You might actually have some fun.”

“I’m tired Y/N, you go ahead and have fun,” Daryl kept up with his answer knowing that she was disappointed, but he didn’t care. There was no changing his answer. Part of Daryl wished she would have just stayed, but when she got up from the seat, he knew that spending time with Negan was going to win out over spending time with him. “Just enjoy yourself.”

“Well you should come over there when you want,” she reached out to squeeze his shoulder before walking toward the pool table with Negan.

When they reached the other side of the bar Daryl could see the other teachers eager to talk and laugh with Y/N. For a while they just all stood around talking and Daryl knew that he was staring, but he didn’t care. Biting down on his bottom lip when Negan’s arm wrapped around Y/N’s shoulders, he let out an upset breath and knew he should have just left.

After a while of talking, Negan tugged Y/N toward the pool table and they started playing together. Daryl was full of jealousy watching their interaction. It was obvious the two of them had a fuck ton of chemistry together. She was having a lot of fun and it was so easy for Negan to make her laugh.

Even knowing that Negan was her type made it so much more obvious to Daryl that he would never be her type. Negan was the opposite of him and he knew that. Which hurt all the more. It was best for him to just leave at his point, he wouldn’t have even been missed if he left now.

Finishing up his last drink, Daryl went to leave until he watched Y/N throw her arms up in celebration when she clearly beat Negan. Watching closely, Daryl saw the look of disappointment over Negan’s features as he moved around the pool table toward her. How close Negan got to Y/N made Daryl’s heart start to hammer inside of his chest.

Daryl’s mind was telling him to go over there and stop the interaction, but his body was frozen while Negan’s eyes were hooked on hers. Negan’s fingers stroked over the side of her face, brushing her hair behind her ear while they talked. Negan whispered something and she nodded before Negan lowered down. Tensing up, Daryl watched Negan’s lips descend over hers after he cupped her face in his hands in a tender stroke and this shit hurt more than Daryl would have thought it would.

When they parted, Negan’s head pressed up against hers and Daryl could see that it took her breath away. Negan whispered something to her while his right hand lifted with his thumb tracing over her cheek. With a smile like that, Daryl knew that Negan was sweeping her off her feet.

Daryl stepped forward when Negan grabbed a hold of her hand and led her toward the back of the bar. The rest of the group was distracted with their own discussions so the two of them were able to sneak out. Following the direction they headed, Daryl went to the backdoor and pushed it slightly open to see that they were at the back of the building.

“You are so fucking beautiful,” Negan slurred, while he had her back pressed up against the brick wall. His large hands were cupping her face as they kissed over and over again. Daryl watched the two of them through the small crack in the door that he had opened. It was enough not to draw attention to him while the two made out behind the bar. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“Negan,” she breathed out while his kisses pressed down over the side of her face and down toward her neck. Grabbing a firm hold of his thick hair, she tugged at it and made Negan stare out at her with desperation while he panted. Daryl wished that she would turn him down. “Do you…do you want to go to my place?”

“Right now?” Negan breathed against her lips and she nodded slowly. The smile that Negan gave her made an angry chill run down Daryl’s spine. “I’d love to.”

Y/N reached for Negan’s hand and led him away from the bar making Daryl want to chase after them, but he knew better. She made her choice and she wanted Negan. Badly, obviously.

Slamming the door shut behind him, Daryl went back to the bar and took his seat again where he was previously. Ordering something a little stronger, he wanted to drink away his pain knowing that he was super hurt to see how eager Y/N was to take Negan home with her.

“Where did the big man go?” a voice made Daryl grunt when Simon slid in beside him and Daryl muttered a slew of silent, angry words to himself. Suddenly so many people he had no interest in speaking to were coming up to him to talk. It irritated Daryl to say the least. When Daryl immediately took back the drink he ordered, Simon let out a long drawn out laugh. “It’s only Thursday Dixon, you might want to hold back. There is one more day of work.”

“I don’t care,” Daryl grumbled with a scowl, his blue eyes glaring at Simon. “I assume you’re talking about Negan and you’re too late. He just left with Y/N.”

“Like, they left together?” Simon was eager to get details and Daryl nodded, waving on to get another drink brought to him. “Son of a bitch! I didn’t think she would give it up that fucking fast. I got more of an innocent vibe from her.”

“What are you trying to say?” Daryl’s face scrunched up and Simon ordered a drink for himself.

“I’m saying Negan is going to win the fucking bet, that’s what I’m saying,” Simon sneered when he got the beer that he ordered. “Goddamn it.”

“What bet?” Daryl immediately questioned seeing Simon dramatically throw his head around. There was a pressure in Daryl’s head and it felt like the world stopped all together when he heard Simon say that. “What bet?”

“I made a bet with Negan that he wouldn’t be able to sleep with the new girl,” Simon informed Daryl with a long, drawn out sigh. “And evidently, I’m fucking losing which fucking sucks.”

“You guys made a bet about Negan sleeping with Y/N?” Daryl snapped, standing up from the stool that he was seated at. “What the fuck? That’s an actual person you are talking about? Someone who likes Negan…”

“Every girl likes Negan,” Simon snorted, his face scrunched up in amusement when Daryl seemed so upset. “Like I’m supposed to be surprised by that. I just thought she was your girl so it was the one time I thought I would win the bet.”

“Negan told me that he was crushing on her,” Daryl repeated what Negan had said and Simon laughed with an entertained expression when he reached for his beer again. “What?”

“You think Negan would crush on her? After losing his wife, that guy would pretty much sleep with anyone to forget the pain of losing her,” Simon cleared his throat noticing how uncomfortable that Daryl was with all of this. “There is no way that he has something for this girl other than the bet. He’s out to win it and undoubtedly, he is going to nail it. I guess I should say be saying he’s going to be nailing her.”

“Fucking asshole,” Daryl knocked into Simon as he headed for the door to leave. He didn’t know what to do with this information, but he had to stop it. Someway. He couldn’t just let Y/N get hurt like this. Why did he have to be so stupid? He should have never told Negan that it would be okay. He should have tried harder to keep them apart. This was just as much his fault for pushing the two of them together and Daryl hated himself for that.

----

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[miedei]

AYUMIE PLS FIND YOU IN OUR DREAMS IS SUCH A MASTERPIECE OMG 🥺 YOUR TALENT IS OVERFLOWING 😩‼️ also can i request h from soulmate alphabet + jake from enha? i think it'd be such a concept + with your top-tier writing... I AM CRAVING SIM JAEYUN CUDDLES AND YOUR TALENTED WRITING, I WILL DO ANYTHING 💳💥

hearts beating together.

gn!reader × jake soulmate!au, fluff, friends to lovers, mentions of itzy's ryujin, itzy’s yuna, stray kid's jeongin, nct’s chenle

word count: 1.7k

aaaah thanks so much for liking it you flatter me too much oml <33 this was such a fun request i hope you like it!!!

send in a letter + an idol/character and i'll write a little about it! my request guidelines are on the link in my bio

warning(s): swearing, mentions of food, petnames used platonically(?)

h...eartbeats (the soulmates share the same heartbeat—when one feels panicked, shocked, tired, etc, the other can feel it too).

your heart confuses you. it races when you relax, slows in the worst of times. a heartbeat bond is strange and uncomfortable at times, but the rush of excitement you feel when your heartbeat changes is incomparable to any other feeling. but of course, it has its downsides.

"...left leg on the ground, right leg bent, stretch out those muscles," of course your soulmate is getting into a stressful situation just as you're trying to relax. you press pause on the yoga video and flop onto your bed. you’re so excited to meet your soulmate, but the way they’ve messed your plans up so many times, you’re looking forward to giving them a good punch too. you focus on the ba-dump, ba-dump of your heart, like it could somehow lead you to the person behind it. huffing out a sigh, you pull out your phone, shooting off a text to your groupchat with your friends

RYUJIN’S HOES

sent: are any of you free? my heart person’s being an asshole so i may as well go out

delivered, jeongin: well shit sucks to be you i’m at work with my SOULMATE

sent: fuck right off

sent: ryujin jake chenle please

delivered, ryujin: i’m omw to practice but you can come?

delivered, ryujin: i know you have swim after just hang out till then

sent: YES THANK YOU BABE this is why i’m only ryujins hoe smh

“get in loser!” ryujin is pulled up in front of your door, watching you scramble to not drop your bags. you run down the driveway, waving goodbye to your parents as you slide into the passenger seat.

“god you’re such a lifesaver, whoever’s attached to my heart has it out for me” she chuckles, completely used to your rants about your soulmate. she hasn’t found hers either, but her soulmate has a much less intensive schedule, so she’s not very bothered by her bond, although, the pink-haired girl next to you is an athlete, so her soulmate is probably just as aggravated as you.

the ride to the school is short, and you find a parking spot quickly, so you’re out on the football field in no time. ryujin’s teammates are already on the grass, adjusting uniforms and stretching. she joins them quickly, changing inside and running out. you take a seat on the benches lining the field, settling in to watch them play. your heart is still pounding, but watching the others play, you don’t notice it as much.

the boy’s team is playing one field over, so you can watch them as well. familiar faces dot that field too, and because they let out before the girls, you get to talk to them while waiting. chenle and jake plop down next to you, teasing you about your obviously heaving chest.

“you all worked up watching the games?” chenle nudges you from his side, the feeling of his sweaty shoulder making you shudder. “as if. my soulmates running a marathon or something, like they like to do every day,” jake twists his face in sympathy, "well you've got practice in a bit right? give them a taste of their own medicine!"

"yeah, you know what? i will! thank you jake, for being a good friend," you speak pointedly, gesturing towards chenle. pushing yourself up off the bench, you walk towards the changing rooms near the pool, yelling out a goodbye to your friends.

changing quickly, your walked out to the pool, greeting your teammates with a smile. time for some payback. tugging on your fins, you dove into the water, relishing the instant comfort it gave. following your coach’s orders, you, along with the rest of the swim team, start swimming laps around the pool. half an hour in, your heart is pumping, and the fact that you were the cause for it makes it so much more sweet. friends have begun to line the sides of the pool, yelling out encouragements and teases. you can easily spot the soulmates of the people swimming with you, their chests heaving, but big smiles on their faces. ryujin, chenle and jake are sat near your lane at the leftmost side of the pool. the three of them, still sweaty and tired from their practice, watch you swim, happy grins on their faces. an hour or so later, you are doing a few mock races, and jeongin has joined them too, his usually teasing visage now smiling with pride. you streak through the water, enjoying the burn in your arms, feeling the exhaustion through your bones in a way that swimming only gives you. you reach for the edge of the pool, and it’s coming closer, closer, until you feel it, slippery on your soaked skin. your friends jump up, yelling out in excitement, filling your heart to the absolute brim.

“alright y/n, good job! you can go change, see you next time,” your coach calls out to you, signalling for you to climb out of the water. your friends swarm you, words of happiness and congratulations surrounding you.

“you did good, fucker,” ryujin ruffles your hair. “now go shower and cool down so you can do that in the actual races,” chest heaving, you flash a huge grin at them, “be right back! i’ll meet you in the parking lot!” they nod their assent, and you begin to walk to the showers, barely catching chenle say something.

“jake, are you really still tired from football? you’ve been panting for ages.”

hours later, you find yourselves in your usual post-practice spot, the local diner near the school. chatting and laughing, you lose track of time around the point when your fries arrive. jeongin regales you all with stories of the crazy customers he dealt with at work, and ryujin gives you the rundown of all the drama that happened in her football practice(seriously, how do they even have time to kick the ball around when so much is going on??). you get that heady feeling of pure happiness, when you’re not thinking or worrying about anything, just paying attention to the amazing people you get to surround yourself with.

you only snap out of that headspace when chenle looks down at his smartwatch(rich boy) and lets out a noise of surprise.

“it’s 19:42! i need to go, fuck,” he begins to clean up his stuff and lays down money for his meal. the rest of you follow suit, appalled at how long you’ve been sitting in this booth. all the money is on the table, and you rise from your seat, ready to go home.

“ryujin, can you drive me home?” you hold the girl's arm, pleading with her so that you won’t have to walk. she opens her mouth, ready to speak, but then she hesitates, a look of mischief crossing her features.

“okay-” you rejoice, pumping a fist in the air, until she goes on: “only if you can beat me to the car. okay 3,2,1 GO!” she starts sprinting, long legs bringing her halfway across the parking lot in no time. you let out a groan of exhaustion, and start pumping your legs to follow her.

by some miracle, you reach the car at virtually the same time, doubling over to hold your knees in your worn-out state. ryujin, in between her attempts at gulping down air, tells you she’ll take you, and you wait for the rest to reach you.

jeongin, chenle and jake walk leisurely up to you, starting to say their farewells. you straighten up, grabbing first chenle, then jeongin into a hug. they yell out some more goodbyes as they walk off to their cars, when you hug jake.

for having just walked here, his heart is racing. why? you focus your hearing on his heartbeat. it’s almost as if he sprinted here. pulling your head away from him, you look up at him, voicing your concerns.

“are you okay? your heart’s beating really fast.” he frowns at you, and presses a hand to his heart. you follow suit, feeling the thump, thump, thump of his chest. it feels familiar. why do you feel so used to this heartbeat? confusion ripples through your mind, until it clears, with a feeling of shock. you know this heartbeat. you know it because it’s your own.

grabbing his other hand, you place it over your heart. his face twists with surprise, and then an emotion you’re not familiar with crosses his features. he pulls you back into a hug, excitement so evident that it’s crossing over to you. jake is your soulmate! which a choked laugh, you pull him impossibly closer to you. he tucks his head next to yours and whispers in your ear.

“it was always you, wasn’t it?”

bonus:

you pull back from the hug, your smile dropping into a serious face. he looks in confusion, as you rear your arm backwards. you push forward, landing a punch in his gut, and he stumbles backward with an ‘oof’

“that was for never letting me rest!”

“YEAH GET HIM!” ryujin yells from her seat in the car. the only thing she’s missing is popcorn, a whole-ass soap opera just happened in front of her.

[atzsslut]

requested by @let-this-be-a-lesson from this, and this list.

chosen prompt(s) : 

#1 - “Is that my sweater?”

#11 - “If you were my boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, I’d probably never stop staring at you.”

pairing : bang chan x fem ! reader

genre : fluff 

warnings : long time best friends, very obvious crushing, kind of more than friends (unidentified relationship) to lovers, implied slow burn 

word count : 2.4k words

You promised to meet Chan almost an hour ago. 

The adrenaline coursed through your body as you ran out of the bathroom after a shower, which was relatively dangerous but you didn’t care, sprinting back to your room to get into some decent clothing. 

As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you almost punched it from the frustration. But you didn’t, of course, as if you didn’t have enough bad luck already.  

Are you that stupid to have fallen asleep on the couch? You thought to yourself. You were much too thankful that you already washed your hair in the morning, so it looked good enough now. 

As you dropped your towel, you swore that you’ve never grabbed such a mismatched set of underwear and bra before, but it didn’t matter. You’d opt yourself to become quicksilver if it was for Chan. 

Your hands let themselves skim through until your phone lit up on top of your cupboard and showed three notifications from the man himself. You froze in your spot reading the following messages. 

chan: okay :( if u insist [5:02 PM]

chan: but since u seem tired [5:03 PM]

chan: i’ll pick u up since i’m only 10 mins away [5:03 PM]

Your mind went back to when you had woken up to three missed calls from Chan, various texts asking if you were alright since you never missed a ‘hangout’. At least, that’s what you two always called your frequent meets. 

Your first instinct was to call him back, your voice rather nasally from the blocked nose you always got after sleeping. His kind voice kept replaying in your head;

“Chan, I’m so so sorry-”

“Oh, did you just wake up?”

“I.. yes. Yes I did. I’m so sorry, I fell asleep because I ran a million errands up until 3pm.”

“Hey, no. It’s okay. It’s not your fault. Do you want to move our hangout to some other day? I think I’m quite free this week.”

“No, no. I need to see you, honestly. My stress has piled up and it’ll be great to see you. You always cheer me up.”

“I try my best, Y/N. I’ll wait for you as long as you’d like. Go get ready!”

“Will do, Mr. Bang. Thank you so so much!”

The last thing you heard after the call ended was his farewell that was mixed in with his infectious laugh, and that was when you ran towards the shower to get the thin layer of sweat that always came after a nap in the living room.

Your fingers quickly typed away a ‘did god send u down to me as my angel or smthn THANK U BANG CHAN’ before going back to rushing to pick out a nicer outfit. 

Because of him willing to pick you up, you had an extra ten minutes to get ready but your mind was still blank from the adrenaline rush. You had picked yourself out a cream-coloured pleated skirt, but you had no idea what to pair it with until you saw a familiar black sweater pushed to the back of the drawer. 

You weren’t too sure why it was familiar to you, but it was nice enough for you to use with the skirt. For a reason you couldn’t pinpoint, it hugged your body well enough, but the area where you could see the stitch of the shoulders were clearly too broad for you, falling around the middle of your upper arms. 

Strange, you thought, I don’t remember buying this but it’s so comfortable. 

And just like he said, Chan was there in ten minutes, voice heard through your apartment intercom, asking you to come downstairs. Although you tried to ignore it, you were excited just from hearing his voice through that old system speaker. 

Taking the elevator down to the lobby, you smiled seeing the boy standing around, clearly waiting for you to come down, as he kept shifting his feet. 

It was music to his ears as well when he heard you call out his name. Although he would never admit it, or so he thinks, he swore that he heard a hymn whenever ‘Chan’ spilled from your lips. But he shook that away when he reached in for a side hug. 

“Hey you.” he said, “You look awfully fresh for someone who just woke up.”

“I work my magic.” you boasted, not wanting to admit the fuss you made for him. Since Chan was a bit taller than you, not by too much (which you teased him about, but he only let it be because it was you), you held onto him as well by slinging your arm around his waist. 

And as you both walked to the parking lot at the front, stuck together like two pieces of paper with a hefty amount of glue in the middle, that was when Chan stopped right in front of his car. 

You looked at him with concern, thinking that he’d probably left something inside, “Did you forget something?”  

He paused, looking at you with the face he’d make whenever Felix did something strange. That wasn’t new, but you felt flustered when he let you go and stood in front of you, arms crossed, eyes checking out your whole body. 

You looked at him strange, not understanding what he was doing. Your hand only clutched your bag strap harder, not understanding the situation. But before you could say anything, he cut you off. 

“Is that my sweater?”

And the realization hit you. 

A few months ago, Chan had gone to your place to spend some time with you after not getting to meet you for three weeks. But of course, the two of you did not look at the weather forecast when a rainstorm dawned over the whole of Seoul. 

You insisted that Chan should not be driving in this weather in fear of a accident, but he did have to get his car to the indoor parking lot incase it began to hail. However, once he had gotten back, the umbrella you had given him was soaked and so was he, the two of you getting into a hysterical laughing fit at the state he was in. 

In all seriousness, you did quickly get him out of the clothes he was wearing and washed them, shyly looking away when he directly began to take his shirt off in the living room until you yelled “Chan! I have a bathroom!”

However, as the night passed, after he slept in the same bed as you, finding his arm around your waist in the morning to which he quickly pulled away in surprise— he left with only his jeans and socks that had been dry cleaned. 

“Oh shit, this is your sweater!” you swore, the event having replayed itself in your forgetful mind, “I’ll clean it after this and give it back to you.”

“Oh, no. You look better in it than I do.” he complimented. 

In between your reminiscing, he had clicked the car key, making the vehicle make the familiar unlocking sound and flashing lights. Running over to your side, he opened the door for you. 

“M’lady.” he offered, 

“M’Chan.” you joked, only to laugh for a bit then go in with a murmured, “Sorry that was cheesy.” 

“It was!” he admitted, yelling so you could hear him through the car glass since you closed the door already. He did his little jog over to the drivers seat and went it rather smoothly, not that you were impressed by that. 

“So, arcade?” he asked, smiling when you nodded and tapped excitedly on his dashboard. 

Once again, in ten minutes, the two of you had reached the destination, quickly running out as if the both of you were six, and not in your early 20s. 

As you ran into building, fluorescent hitting your eyes with a familiar nostalgia coming alongside them, much too familiar from the high school days of you and Chan going to another arcade that was already closed down now. 

“So, what do you want to do first?” you asked, as if you didn’t guess the answer already. 

Chan looked forward, scanning the place more and finally seeing a row of big,  bulky, metal boxes that couldn’t be missed. He pointed at them, rather cutely to add, smiling down at you. 

You gave him an excited grin back, happy that you guessed right in your head. You walked ahead, pleased to hear him tread behind you at a faster pace to catch up with you.

Drawing back the curtain, the two of you went inside and swiped the arcade card that you had because of several trips that were forced by your auntie with your little cousins. Luckily, there was still money inside. 

The recognizable ‘twinkling’ sound of the photo booth rang in both your ears, opting you to choose the frame decor, etc. 

And as the screen showed both your faces, a robotic voice was heard through the same speakers at the sides of the booth, stating ‘please move more towards the centre, thank you’ 

But if anyone were to look inside, you and Chan were already considerably close, especially since the bench space wasn’t wide at all. But you side-eyed the boy, scooting closer to him as he did the same to you. 

You felt his arm squish against yours, feeling flustered at the sudden contact. 

“Can..uh..” he trailed, “Can I put my arm around you? I.. I think it’ll make the pictures look less awkward, don’t you think?”

“Y-yeah!” you responded a bit too enthusiastically. Clearing your throat, you gave him the gentle smile that he could never hate, “Yeah. Go ahead, Chan.”

He did as he asked. Unlike the playful hug that you two had shared in your apartment lobby, this one felt more intimate, especially when you saw the screen reflecting the two of you. 

You could feel his rings dig against his cotton sweater on your body, assuming now that it was yours, comfortable enough for you to feel secure— at home. Nevertheless, you always felt that Chan was your home. 

Your eyes fixated on the screen as you moved forward to press the red button that would soon make you both take simultaneous pictures together. 

We look good together, you thought to yourself, Wait what? Shut up. 

But why did this feel different? You two had taken hundreds of photos together, varied with ridiculous, attractive, and unnecessary ones. But you swallowed that wondering lump in your throat, quickly dismissing it as you posed with Chan for each one, your vision rather blurry for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint. 

And as the twelve clicks ended, Chan stood up first. You were quite upset about the absence of his embrace, but didn’t mind it when he smiled at you like he always did,

“Let’s see the pictures.” he held his hand out for you to take, which you graciously did, feeling the pit of your stomach drop as you, as per usual, questioned what your relationship with him was at this point. 

The two pairs of feet, albeit the both of you were wearing matching shoes on accident, met their way towards the printing area. Looking at the screen which read 99% complete, Chan heard the sound of the photo paper hit the stopper that avoided the prints from falling on the ground. 

He bent down and took it, showing it to you. Naturally, your arms went around his left bicep, hugging it to look closer. Chan sucked in his breath, knowing that if he was in a cartoon right now, his brown head of hair would be sticking up in all places as a silhouette of his heart pumped dramatically out of his chest. 

It was ironic, as most of your friends would say; it was ironic how you two hugged often but got shy whenever your hands would simpy graze, it was ironic how you two were so affectionate yet were so resistant, and it was very ironic that your ‘hangouts’ weren’t dates at this point. 

He watched as you pointed at his face from top to bottom, questioning, 

“You’re not even facing the camera in most of these! Stop looking at me and look at the lens next time. Do you want to retake these?”

Your question wasn’t too hard, but you didn’t understand why Chan looked at you with such solemn eyes, his eyebrows knitted together as if he was frustrated. But the look was soon replaced with one that held adoration, but that only increased your confusion. 

“I mean.. we don’t have to retake these, Chan. What do you want to do?” 

“If you were my girlfriend, I’d probably never stop staring at you.”

He didn’t know why he said that. Not a bone in his body was willing to let that out but his mind decided to play a little game of “thinking out loud”. The impulsivity of the statement made the two of your freeze in front of the photo booth.

But there was something that the both of you knew, something that neither of you wanted to admit. You had been friends for too long, had been too close for too long, but what was different now?

Why, after more than ten years of being best friends, was now the best time for you two to be together? 

But something resided within you, and in Chan as well. This was to atone for all the pain you two had experienced without one another. You and Chan always wondered why you’ve always loved, but never been in love truly. All this time, the person that was it from the start was right in front of your faces, but pent up denial never allowed it to happen. 

Until now. 

Somewhere, somehow, this was the universe’s way of telling you that today was that day. You woke up late, wore his sweater, and Chan had slipped up with his thoughts aloud. It made sense. 

So, you took a small step forward. 

It felt as if the gravity between your feet and floor was much heavier than before, especially watching Chan’s jaw clench out of nervousness, but you knew it was just you mustering up a ton of courage to finally ask, 

“Who’s stopping you from asking?” 

[miracleonice87]

anything with matty tkachuk! but maybe a fluffy one where it’s your first season living together after being long distance for awhile and it’s like the moments you guys go through? first fight, first night together, new game day rituals, etc.

a/n: the last of the requests for the moment! I’ll probably open them back up soon. here’s a piece with a few vignettes referred to in the request. enjoy! 

warnings: partners arguing, brief mention of sex

_____

Firsts

first night…

“You’re going to throw your back out.”

Matthew scoffed. “You think you’re so heavy but you weigh next to nothing,” he insisted, scooping his arm beneath the crooks of your knees, the other steady beneath your underarms as he lifted you off the ground.

You chuckled, covering your face with your hand shyly.

“Matthew,” you whined. He shook his head.

“Nope, we’re doing it,” he told you, walking toward the front door. “You’re finally moving in with me. We’re doing the cheesy ‘carry you over the threshold’ thing.”

You couldn’t argue with that. Smiling, you looped your arms around his neck and resigned to his resolve. A few yards more, and Matthew was kicking open the door with one foot.

As he stepped into the house, he let out an adorable “ta daaa!” and beamed at you.

“Welcome home, princess,” he said sweetly. You leaned in to kiss him and pinched gently at his cheek.

“Thank you, my love,” you said. Matthew put you down carefully and closed the door behind him. As you stepped forward into the living room — your living room — you spotted not only a gorgeous bouquet of blush pink roses, but also an overflowing gift basket filled with an array of your favorite items. The jasmine candles you always burned in your own apartment, the lavender tea you drank each night before bed, your favorite shampoo and conditioner, the shower gel you always stocked up on at your favorite St. Louis boutique — all of it, and more, was tucked inside.

“Baby…” you began breathlessly, running your hand along the perimeter of the wicker. “What did you do?”

Matthew approached from behind with a smile, wrapping his arms around your middle and burying a kiss in your hair.

“I just wanted you to have some things that’ll hopefully make you feel at home here,” he said somberly. “And I gotta admit, Taryn helped me track down the stuff from St. Louis,” he added with a chuckle.

You turned in his hold to face him, and he noted the glistening in your green eyes as he reached for your face.

“You are so sweet. Thank you, baby,” you said, pressing your lips against his. When you parted, Matthew noticed the way your bright smile had faded. He knew why.

As thrilled as you were to be moving in with Matthew at last after a full year of dating long distance, you were still anxious leaving your hometown of St. Louis. You couldn’t wait to start your life in Calgary with Matthew, but living so far from your family and childhood friends had you battling homesickness from the second you took off from Lambert. The reality had caused you to break down on the plane and was bringing tears to your eyes once more.

“You okay?” Matthew asked kindly, kissing your forehead repeatedly. You held his wrists and nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” you said.

“I know it’s not gonna be easy, sweetheart,” Matthew said, pulling you closer. “But your parents are welcome here anytime, and you can go visit them literally whenever you want. And you know my parents are gonna be up here way more now that you’re here. We all know they like you better than me,” he told you, pulling a giggle from you as you looked up at him with a smirk.

“There’s a smile,” he said. You nodded, sniffling.

“Trust me, Matthew, I’m so happy to be here with you,” you assured him. “This is where I’ve wanted to be for so long, and you’re so gracious for having me here. And I can’t believe how thoughtful these gifts were. The excitement I feel to start my life with you outweighs any sadness I’ll feel. Trust me on that.”

Matthew grinned, and you couldn’t help but reflect his joy in your own expression.

“I love you, princess,” he said, hugging you tight. “Welcome home.”

“I love you, too, Matthew,” you said against his shoulder.

_____

first fight…

It had taken a few weeks, but you soon settled into your new life in Calgary with little trouble. Spending every day with Matthew felt like a dream — you were both giddy when you hopped into bed together each night and woke up next to each other the following morning.

As Matthew began training camp, you found your own routine with your work as a freelance graphic designer. You only put in about twenty to thirty hours per week, which Matthew knew you did because you wanted to, not because you felt you needed to. He reminded you every so often that you could quit at any point if you no longer felt the need to work — though you told him not to hold his breath.

Matthew refused to let go of his housekeeper, as he wanted to save you from doing all of the chores, though you did insist on taking over the bulk of the household duties because you actually found them enjoyable — scheduling, grocery shopping, meal planning, cooking, laundry, and paying bills.

It was that last little item that caused the first tiff between you and Matthew since you had moved in with him — in fact, the first tiff the two of you had had in months.

One afternoon, after Matthew returned home from practice, he kissed your cheek and grabbed a glass of water before sitting down at the kitchen table to chat with you, as he did almost every day. As you worked on a logo design for a client, Matthew sat scrolling through his phone; then, eyebrows furrowing, he paused.

“Hey, babe?” he began. You acknowledged him with a distracted “hmm?” without looking away from your screen.

“It’s no big deal if so,” Matthew spoke, “but did you forget to pay the water bill this month? And maybe… maybe the electric bill, too? I don’t see that they’ve been deducted from my account yet, so I just wanna make sure they’re not late.”

Heat crept up your neck and chest as you slowly closed your laptop, pursing your lips to the side. When you didn’t respond right away, Matthew looked at you curiously.

You took a deep breath and pulled your legs underneath you, curling up and wishing you could hide from this altogether.

“Don’t be mad…” you said softly.

Not a good start, Matthew thought to himself. He clicked his phone to lock it and set it aside, folding his arms on the table.

“Babe…” he said, a warning in the single word.

You picked nervously at the seam of your leggings. “Okay. I kind of…” you cleared your throat, stalling. “I kind of paid those two out of my own account. But just those two. I swear.”

Matthew rolled his eyes, pushing himself out of his seat as he muttered, “oh, my god.”

Yep, he was pissed.

After pacing for a few moments, Matthew crossed his arms against his chest and faced you.

“I thought we talked about this,” he said, clearly frustrated.

You dropped your head. “I-I know…” you said timidly. “We did. I just-“

“And you paid them yourself anyway? Despite having already discussed it?” he questioned, his volume rising.

With lightly shaking hands, you tucked some hair behind one ear and swallowed hard, unable to meet his gaze, which was sure to be intense.

“Yes,” was all you could manage.

Matthew tossed his baseball cap on the table and sighed loudly, resuming his pacing across the hardwood.

“Baby, we can’t start out like this,” he said firmly. “I didn’t ask you to come live with me so we could split the cost of living like you’re some random roommate of mine. I asked you to move in because I want to share my life with you — I wanna share everything with you. I make more money than I’ll ever be able to spend, and you should not be spending your own money to pay our bills.”

As he spoke, you chewed anxiously on the inside of your cheek. When he paused, he sighed once more.

“Can you look at me, please?” he requested.

With a shaky inhale, you did as he asked, and his gaze softened the moment he saw the unease on your face.

“What’s goin’ on here, baby?” Matthew asked. “You’ve gotta talk to me. We’re partners.”

You pulled the sleeves of your sweatshirt down to cover your closed fists as you considered how even to answer him. Finally, you decided on a simple response.

“I feel like a mooch,” you said quietly, your eyes traveling downward again.

Out of your frame of vision, Matthew’s face fell. He felt sick at what he had just heard. He crossed the room swiftly, easily pulling out your chair and turning it to face him. He knelt before you and gathered your hands in his own.

“Princess… hey,” he said gently as he reached to smooth his hand over your hair. “Look at me.” This time, it wasn’t a question.

You forced yourself to look at him, finding immediate comfort in the tender way he was now looking at you as compared to before. He squeezed your thighs soothingly as he spoke again.

“You are anything but a mooch,” he said with conviction. “You are my girlfriend, who I love — who I’m obsessed with. You’re the person I want to spend my life with. I wanna take care of you in every way I possibly can, including financially. You know what I mean?”

You nodded slowly, unable to think of a convincing argument against him.

“I don’t want to fight about this with you,” Matthew continued, shaking his head. “We shouldn’t be fighting about money. Listen, if you want to spend your money on things that are only yours, that’s fine. Even though I really wish you wouldn’t even do that.” He muttered the last part and you offered the tiniest smile. “I don’t want you footing our bills, babe. You don’t need to worry about that. Okay? I want you to let me take care of all of that. Please?”

You nodded slowly. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I didn’t want to go behind your back. I just felt like I wanted to contribute.”

Matthew gave you a disbelieving expression. “Contribute? Babe, you contribute so much. You’ve barely been here a month and shit around here is more organized than it’s ever been. You’ve already got this place running like a well-oiled machine,” he told you as you breathed a chuckle. “You take care of me in countless ways. Let me handle the money. That’s the easy part.”

You let your head roll back with a sigh, knowing that Matthew was being the logical one in this instance. “Okay,” you agreed as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I will. I’m sorry.”

Matthew shook his head, kissing the tip of your nose and then your lips. “Don’t be sorry,” he said. “Let’s just go upstairs and have make-up sex since this was our first fight in forever.”

You threw your head back in laughter. “You are something else,” you told your boyfriend, who was already picking you up out of your chair and toting you upstairs.

_____

first game…

As you stood in your closet selecting an outfit for Matthew’s home opener, you felt a familiar pair of arms snake around your waist and a set of lips you knew well come to rest on your cheekbone. A grin overtook your face.

“Good morning, sunshine,” you teased as Matthew relentlessly planted kisses on your skin. “How was your nap? I didn’t wake you, did I?”

You turned his direction, and Matthew shook his head. You smoothed the short curls atop his head and he nearly purred, making you laugh.

“My nap was good,” he said with a yawn. “And you’re gonna make me fall asleep again if you keep doing that.”

You snickered, kissing his jaw, before you turned back around and reached for a couple articles of hanging clothing.

“Once you pick what you’re wearing, can you make me a cup of coffee?” Matthew asked from behind.

Your brows pulled together, puzzled, and you cocked your head as you turned back toward him.

“Are you really that helpless?” you said in your best teasing tone.

Matthew rolled his eyes lightheartedly and said, “No, I can make my own, but I don’t want to. We’ve got a good thing going.”

You shook your head, amused. “Okay, I’m lost,” you told him, hanging your outfit on the back of the closet door to steam later. “What are you talking about?”

Matthew followed you out of the closet and toward the hall.

“You made me my coffee before the last three preseason games at home, remember? And we won them all,” he said matter-of-factly. “So yeah, if you don’t mind, we’re gonna keep that going. Unless you wanna be the reason we lose…”

“No!” you exclaimed immediately. Matthew laughed — he knew that would do the trick, as you were nearly as superstitious as he. “I’m going now,” you said. As you turned to descend the stairs, you glanced back at him, batting your lashes. “Cream and sugar?” you asked sweetly. 

Matthew laughed hysterically and tickled your sides as he followed you down to the kitchen, thankful once more that you were here to share not only his home with him, but his life.