#and you can't sit at my table if you think these stories are ''important and groundbreaking''
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psalmsofpsychosis · 2 years ago
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okay but for real, spending an ungodly amount of time in the past 3 years around intellectually deadening media and people who mistake familiarity with brilliance has mostly made me feel insane, but it has also helped me develop the most straightforward approach to media i've had in years. Like, it's gotten very simple for me to gauge where i stand with people's creations and i love the sense of foundational simplicity i've found regarding my taste in media, like
you see, i need the art to tell something new, creative, distinct and interesting. If it cannot do that, then i need it to say something kind, compassionate and useful. and if it can't achieve that either, i find zero value in it, period. I've had so many people approaching me with the implication that demanding creativity and originality from media is somehow "wrong" and "weird" and "too much to ask for", as if i'm the problem for needing and expecting variety and novelty from art, the unspoken idea being "is it not enough that it's pretty? is it not enough that there are conventionally attractive able-bodied & socially sanctioned "hot" people fucking in it?" and no. the pervasive and invasive superficiality in your interpretation of stories and art is utterly boring to me, i really dont care how much "thin hot fuck young person" and "pretty aesthetics" you stick on your utterly dead and deadening narratives. I approach a piece of media and ask "is this telling something new? is this asking a different question whithin an intriguing framework?" and then i'm going to ask "is this kind and understanding of its subject matter? is it curious and openminded? is this information useful to our understanding of the world right now?" and if it cannot answer either question i'll drop it as fast as i picked it up.
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writersdrug · 6 months ago
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Simon "Ghost" Riley is the kind of man who:
In your shared home, always sits with his legs spread. Manspreading king. Adores it when you cross your arms and give him a disapproving look, saying there's no room for you. "Course there is, luv. Jus' sit between my thighs."
Refuses to let you do simple tasks around the house, like making tea, folding his underwear, or putting away the dishes. One might think it's a sweet, husbandly gesture - but he's just super picky. You made tea in the microwave once, and now you're banned from ever touching his tea stash. Likes his underwear folded in a specific way, and you don't understand the importance of it. He got tired of you stuffing his underwear in his drawer, so now he folds it himself. And the dishes? Couldn't stand how you put them away. "There's no rhyme or reason to 'em." "I didn't think there had to be, Si-" "Just gimme the damn bowl." Fewer chores? You aren't complaining.
Looks like he's always on edge - and he is, kinda. When he's out with you, he can't help but be alert and watchful, and extremely protective of you. You've tried to get him to loosen up - it's the supermarket, what could happen? - but have just come to accept it as his nature. Plus, you get that giddy feeling when you see other men look straight down at the floor, avoiding Simon's stare as the two of you pass.
Is the grumpiest, poutiest, and most indignant man ever when he gets sick. Doesn't want you doting on him in case you catch whatever he has. But, wait - where are you going? "Get your ass back in this bed - 'm cold." Grumbles like a child when you force him to let you get up to grab him soup, tea, or medicine. And no, he doesn't care how sick he is, he's not wearing that stupid, floppy ice pack hat.
Brings Johnny over unannounced, and you've grown used to it. The moment you hear that Scottish yapping out the front door as the key unlocks, you grab a third plate for dinner - he insists you don't need to feed him, but you always make extra for Simon's lunch the next day regardless, and the last time he'd said that, he ended up grabbing an extra fork and picking from Simon's plate. Which, of course, had Simon up at 1 am making instant ramen because he was still hungry, but didn't have the heart to ask you to make him a decent meal. So, yes, Johnny would be fed.
Loves spoiling you on your birthday. What is a man if not someone who spoils his partner rotten? Orders in food from your favorite bakery, sets all your presents neat and nice on the table (the excellent wrapping job done by yours truly, Gaz), flower petals sprinkled on the ground and the table top (also Gaz's idea), and a seat on his lap so for you while you open your presents. Loves watching your face light up, and each little "you remembered?!" fall from your lips as you open each gift. Scoffs and shifts in his seat. "I's not that much of a fuss, luv..." as you squeal excitedly, but you know he's biting back a proud smile. The blush, he can't even attempt to hide.
Is somehow a magnet for your young nephews. Every time he comes along to your sister's place, he's either making conversation with her husband in the living room, or he's interrogated and cornered by her two sons. And, lord help him, he doesn't understand it either. He'd always expected kids to look at him like a monster, but, especially with these two, that was never the case. They'd ask him for stories about "being in war" - half of the time, he'd make up some not-too-gory adventure, sparing them the details of real war. The rest of the time, he'd talk about "Soap, my mate who blows everything up." And they'd listen with wide eyes and jaws on the floor.
Has scared you unintentionally, more than too many times. He'd come home at three in the morning from a mission, and all he wanted was to quietly peel his dirty uniform off and slip into bed with you. His main intention was to avoid waking you up, because you'd force him to shower before joining you in bed - and he was too tired for that. However, you'd been rounding the corner, up for your 3 am glass of water - you screamed as you saw the hulking, dark figure by the front door, launching your phone at him. He'd caught it effortlessly and shoved it into his back pocket. "What've I told ya 'bout using the bat?" "I was just getting water!" "I coulda been anyone." "Well you're not." "Missed ya, luvie." "Missed you too- but you're grimy. Go take a-" "No." He grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder, ignoring your protests as he hauled you back to bed.
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physalian · 6 months ago
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How To Make Your Writing Less Stiff 5
Movement
Dredging this back up from way back.
Make sure your characters move, but not too much during heavy dialogue scenes. E.g. two characters sitting and talking—do humans just stare at each other with their arms lifeless and bodies utterly motionless during conversation? No? Then neither should your characters. Make them…
Gesture
Wave
Frown
Laugh
Cross their legs/their arms
Shift around to get comfortable
Pound the table
Roll their eyes
Point
Shrug
Touch their face/their hair
Wring their hands
Pick at their nails
Yawn
Stretch
Sniff/sniffle
Tap their fingers/drum
Bounce their feet
Doodle
Fiddle with buttons or jewelry
Scratch an itch
Touch their weapons/gadgets/phones
Check the time
Get up and sit back down
Move from chair to tabletop
The list goes on.
Bonus points if these are tics that serve to develop your character, like a nervous fiddler, or if one moves a lot and the other doesn’t—what does that say about the both of them? This is where “show don’t tell” really comes into play.
As in, you could say “he’s nervous” or you could show, “He fidgets, constantly glancing at the clock as sweat beads at his temples.”
This site is full of discourse on telling vs showing so I’ll leave it at that.
Epithets
In the Sci-fi WIP that shall never see the light of day, I had a flashback arc for one male character and his relationship with another male character. On top of that, the flashback character was a nameless narrator for Reasons.
Enter the problem: How would you keep track of two male characters, one who you can't name, and the other who does have a name, but you can’t oversaturate the narrative with it? I did a few things.
Nameless Narrator (written in 3rd person limited POV) was the only narrator for the flashback arc. I never switched to the boyfriend’s POV.
Boyfriend had only a couple epithets that could only apply to him, and halfway through their relationship, NN went from describing him as “the other prisoner” to “his cellmate” to “his partner” (which was also a double entendre). NN also switched from using BF’s full name to a nickname both in narration and dialogue.
BF had a title for NN that he used exclusively in dialogue, since BF couldn’t use his given name and NN hadn’t picked a new one for himself.
Every time the subject of the narrative switched, I started a new paragraph so “he” never described either character ambiguously mid-paragraph.
Is this an extreme example? Absolutely, but I pulled it off according to my betas.
The point of all this is this: Epithets shouldn’t just exist to substitute an overused name. Epithets de-personalize the subject if you use them incorrectly. If your narrator is thinking of their lover and describing that person without their name, then the trait they pick to focus on should be something equally important to them. In contrast, if you want to drive home how little a narrator thinks of somebody, using depersonalizing epithets helps sell that disrespect.
Fanfic tends to be the most egregious with soulless epithets like "the black-haired boy" that tell the reader absolutely nothing about how the narrator feels about that black-haired boy, espeically if they're doing so during a highly-emotional moment.
As in, NN and BF had one implied sex scene. Had I said “the other prisoner” that would have completely ruined the mood. He’s so much more than “the other prisoner” at that point in the story. “His partner,” since they were both a combat team and romantically involved, encompassed their entire relationship.
The epithet also changed depending on what mood or how hopeless NN saw their situation. He’d wax and wane over how close he believed them to be for Reasons. NN was a very reserved character who kept BF at a distance, afraid to go “all in” because he knew there was a high chance of BF not surviving this campaign. So NN never used “his lover”.
All to say, epithets carried the subtext of that flashback arc, when I had a character who would not talk about his feelings. I could show you the progression of their relationship through how the epithets changed.
I could show you whenever NN was being a big fat liar about his feelings when he said he's not in love, but his narration gave him away. I could show you the exact moment their relationship shifted from comrades to something more when NN switched mid-paragraph from "his cellmate" to "his partner" and when he took up BF's nickame exclusively in the same scene.
I do the same thing in Eternal Night when Elias, my protagonist, stops referring to Dorian as "it" and "the vampire" instead of his name the moment they collide with a much more dangerous vampire, so jarringly that Elias notices in his own narration—the point of it being so explicit is that this degredation isn't automatic, it's something he has to conciously do, when everyone else in his clan wouldn't think twice about dehumanizing them.
Any literary device should be used with intent if you want those layers in your work. The curtains are rarely just blue. Whether it’s a simile with a deliberate comparison or an epithet with deliberate connotations, your readers will pick up on the subtext, I promise.
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chilumi-shipper · 3 months ago
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A prompt came into mind.. up to you if you're interested.
So, character and reader got married but character cheated because he said he doesn't love the reader anymore. They're technically done, but haven't finished doing the divorce files (because it's expensive and takes a long long time). But.. character got into an accident.. which made him forget everything that happened recently, and only remember the days he loved the reader. Reader's conflicted, the mistress that character has doesn't know what to do either. Character was confused on why he would marry anyone else when he has the reader fo begin with.
I think this fits your styles.
Btw, I LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES! I RE-READ THEM EVERYDAY-
Someone Better
Childe x Fem!Reader
Summary: Childe was a wild spirit, so when he got bored of your relationship, he sought the excitement of another woman. You were heartbroken, ultimately asking for a divorce. But just as your connection was almost severed, he got into an accident, losing every memory of his infidelity and returning to the man that made you fall in love him.
Tags: Cheating, Amnesia, Pining, Angst/No Comfort
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
You were staring at the tremendous amount of divorce paperwork sitting on the desk of your hotel room.
It was very complicated, five years of marriage with joined insurance, property, bank accounts, and now you have to meticulously separate all your joined assets, all while constantly on the verge of a breakdown.
Not to mention you had no family to stay with in Snezhnaya. There's absolutely no one you could talk to about everything, you've left your homeland thinking your future in the cold nation with the love of your life would be nothing less that fantasy.
As you rest your head on the desk and closed your eyes tightly to ease the headache, your ears perk up as loud knocks hit your door.
With a groan, you got up and opened it to reveal your two of Childe's older siblings.
"He's looking for you." The older sister said, Alevtina, her seriousness evident, looking at you somewhat panicked.
"I know, big si-" I paused for a moment, closing my eyes and rubbing my temples. "I'm working on the assets, I'll send it as soon as possible."
"No." The chilly tone of the older brother, Alexei, sent shivers down your spine. "You need to come with us."
...
"Big sister Y/N is here?" You hear Teucer's innocent voice as you enter their home. The younger children laid their eyes on you, seemingly eager to come closer, but perhaps they've been told that now would not be the time.
"Honey... Thank you for coming..." Their mother embraced you warmly, still accepting you with motherly affection. "Oh dear, I'm so sorry..."
"Mama, has he calmed down?" Alexei asked from behind you.
Your mother-in-law parts from you slightly, looking at you tenderly. "She will definitely help."
You put your confusion and questions aside, seeing the somewhat tense air within the house.
"Stop staring." You weren't looking at him, but you felt his eyes watching you set down a tray of soup and medicine on his bedside table.
Childe lets out a chuckle. "Sorry, love, I can't help it..." His eyes never faltered, containing a look of admiration that you've been unfamiliar with for so long.
"After the avalanche, I got a pretty bad head injury. When I woke up, you were the first thing on my mind. And when Mama said you weren't here with me, I freaked out."
You sat down on a chair next to his bed, your eyes observing the bandages wrapped around his head. "What did the doctor say about your injury?"
"I'm gonna get some very bad headaches, and I also got a bit of amnesia, I think." Childe looks as if he's in thought. "Do I seem like I forgot something?"
"Maybe some things..."
"But I love you just the same! So I bet what I forgot wasn't even that important!"
...How cruel.
Having to take care of the man that broke you apart, even worse, a version of him that you loved too much to despise.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
It was painful, staying with him.
Childe would keep you close, call you his different pet names, cuddle up to you, all while you were under the pitiful gaze of his family that knew of his infidelity.
On the other hand, he's been feeling the cold responses his advances have been receiving. But to him, he thinks he can solve it by smothering you in more of his love.
He is pretty observant, he's put it two in two together that he may be missing a memory in which he had done something wrong. He just didn't know how much it had hurt.
Though, not only from you, Childe had also felt that his younger siblings seem distant as well, no longer asking him to play snow games outside, or looking up to him as some sort of hero.
One early morning, when he walks up to the kitchen to see you cooking for the whole family, a smile formed on his face.
He steps closer, wrapping his muscular arms around your waist. "Hmmm... Morning, honey..." He basks in the feeling of you.
You remain quiet, letting him do as he pleases. The ginger frowns, however, feeling unsatisfied by your lack of reaction.
"Babyyyy... Loveee meee backkkk..." He whines, nuzzling his face on your neck.
"Ajax, come on..." You stifled a laugh, moving slightly away as his action tickled you. He hears the slight giggle of your words, smiling against your skin.
You compose yourself, pushing him away from you. "Stop." He lets you push him away, and you feel him freeze slightly at the harshness of your tone.
His blue eyes looked at you worried. "...Hey," He starts. "I'm sorry, darling, did you not like that?"
With a sigh, you looked down. "When the others wake up, tell them I already made breakfast. I have somewhere to be."
You walk pass him, but you did not miss the hurt tone of the faint call of your name.
...
You come back to his family's home after doing some more paperwork for the divorce that your husband doesn't even remember, feeling your head pounding as you ready yourself to face him again.
What you don't expect to see this late at night is Childe sitting on the porch with a lantern next to him, his head hung low as if he's thinking deeply.
"Childe?"
He looks up, but he frowns at you. "Ajax, darling..." He reminds you.
Standing up, he pulls you into his warm embrace. "I love you... I missed you..."
His words take you aback, as you reluctantly wrap your arms around him.
"I've been thinking about this morning, about you. You hate me."
"I know I must've done something... you can tell me." He kneels in front of you, staring at your eyes while his sparkle with the light of the lantern. "And even if I don't remember, I'll make it right..."
As you look down at him, you see the fiery passion of love that burned in his eyes as he knelt down to ask you to marry him so long ago.
It scares you...
You might not be able to control yourself...
"It's just hard to take care of you sometimes." You smile ever so slightly, yet his frown only deepens as tears start to escape your eyes.
He stands, his hand finds its way to your cheek. "Love..." His eyes held such conviction that you've not seen for years. "I'm so sorry..."
You close your eyes to hold in the tears, shaking your head and swaying his hand away. "...You're not."
Despite the tears, you tug at his arm. "Come on, let's head inside."
He's filled with questions, but seeing your sad face makes him set all those aside and focus on you for now.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
"Teucer, hey, little man." Childe calls for his little brother.
The little boy looks at him wide eyed. "I don't want to talk to you." He crossed his little arms, turning around to leave with a displeased look.
"What...? Oh come on..." The harbinger pouted, getting down on his little brother's level. "What did I do wrong...? All our siblings are acting so mean to me..." He whined, frowning as he tries to persuade the little ginger.
"But you were also very very mean!" Teucer refused to look at his older brother, the one he used to look up to the most. "We don't like you anymore!"
Childe's playful facade faded as his expression contorted to a confused one. "Hey, what do you mean...?"
"You're so mean to Y/N, you hurt her! She doesn't deserve tha-"
"Teucer!" Just as his brother erupted to a crying mess, screaming at him with all his little heart, their mother walked into the room, grabbing the little boy.
"Don't talk like that to your elders!"
"But it's true, Mama!"
"That doesn't matter, say sorry to-"
"What does he mean, Mama? Why did I do?" Childe looked at his mother expectantly, his voice starting to shake as he saw the fit of rage Teucer had because of him. "W-What did I do to Y/N?"
HIs mother shook her head, trying to ease her expression with a smile. "Nothing..."
"It's not nothing, Mama!" He raises his voice by accident due to his frustration. "I see it, the way she looks at me, it's different. The way you all look at me, like you have a monster inside your house."
Teucer forced his way out of his mother's hold, running to his older siblings room all teary eyed. Childe felt bad, but he desperately needed answers from his mother.
"Mama, please, I need to know why Y/N doesn't... love me anymore..." It hurts him to say, but based on the way you're acting, he could only make the assumption that your feelings have wavered.
"Oh, Ajax... it's not like that..."
The ginger then felt a sharp pain in his head, making him fall down onto the couch. He groaned as he clutched his head.
"Hey... where are you heading off to so late at night?" He hears your soft voice in a static audio playing in his head.
"Out." He then hears himself replying coldly.
"Ohh, when will you-"
He's out the door before you could even finish your question.
"Ajax, honey!' His mother's voice was a hazy blur as he keeps his eyes closed to envision what he's hearing in his head.
He tries to shake the feeling away, but his mind is flooded by fragmented memories.
"You've been going out a lot more recently." Your concerned voice entered his ears.
"I've been busy."
"Busy where?"
He then hears shatters of glass and yells as you sob while trying to talk to him.
He pictures your face, your crying, begging face, asking for some sort of salvation from his cold and merciless actions.
"T-There's someone else?"
"Someone better."
"H-How could y-you do this?"
"When I look at you now... I feel... nothing."
Childe opened his eyes, not realizing that tears had started to flow to his cheeks. "Mama..."
"Y-Yes, dear?"
"I hurt her..." He was in a state of disbelief. "I-I... Why...?"
His tears fell faster, looking at his mother for answers. "W-Why, Mama? Why was I so stupid? Why did I choose to lose her?"
"I don't know, dear, but that's simply what happened, and you could never make her forget that, even if you forgot."
His breathing started to accelerate, feeling like he wanted to punch himself. As his head started spinning, his vision turns black.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
You took a deep breath as you walked into the house, feeling everyone's eyes on you as you entered.
"Honey..." Your ex mother-in-law embraces you once again, holding you tight. "I'm so sorry... I didn't want to make it difficult for you..."
"N-No, no..." You returned her hug, sniffling as you start to tear up. "I readied myself for this, I'm just here to drop off the final papers..."
"Could you talk to him?" Alevtina suddenly asked, looking at you hesitantly. "I know he's been a jerk... but he won't eat unless he talks to you."
You parted from their mother, feeling the pressure of their request.
"It's okay to curse him, or to scream, or rough him up, I'll even help you." Alexei placed his hand on your shoulder to comfort you.
You nodded, sighing as they guided you to his room. And as you entered with a heavy feeling in your chest, he immediately sat up, alerted by your presence. You stare at each other for a bit before you muttered a word.
"Hi." You greeted him shortly.
"Hey..." His voice was soft, and his eyes followed you attentively.
"I'm sorry to intrude, I'll make this quick." You breathe deeply, trying to relax yourself. "I finished the papers, split the assets, got the lawyers."
"I talked to her, y-your woman..." You looked down, fidgeting with your hands. Childe seemed unfazed by it, though his gaze seem to falter at the mention of 'his woman'.
"She... umm... wasn't really interested anymore after the accident..." You breathe heavily, feeling small under his gaze. "But... your family's here to take care of you..."
Clearing your throat, you continued. "I do have one request, if I could... I would like a safe boat ride back home." You stepped closer, intending to hand him the envelope that contained all the paperwork to finalize your divorce.
"Take it all." You stopped in your tracks as he spoke.
"The house, the mora, the boat. It's all yours..." He lays back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. "Would you also do me a favor?"
You looked at him, encouraging him to speak.
"Carve my heart out and take it with you."
"...Can we be serious for a second?" You sighed.
"I would like to stay with you. I think that would be a good way to do it without constantly wanting to punch myself." You noticed that his eyes started to flood with tears.
"Ajax... I'm sorry this happened to you..."
"No, Y/N, I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything." He sat up again, tears falling from his eyes as he looks up at you with genuine eyes. "I don't know why I did that. And I... I regret it so much..." He reached for your hand, and you let him hold onto you for strength.
"Every tear I had in me I already cried when you left me for her." You smiled bitterly, though you remained soft, making him even more guilty as you try to stay strong. "But I appreciate the apology..."
You pull your hand away from him slowly, feeling that he was reluctant to let go.
"I-I still love you..."
You gave him a final smile. "You'll love someone better than me... Childe..." You back away, leaving him alone in his room still yearning for the days where his memory only consisted of loving you.
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~
Hiiii again after quite a while! I think I've been noticing that my recent fics have been angst, I guess I just feel like hurting you guys this season of giving (I give pain :D)
Anywayy, anon, I think at some point I went my own direction and didn't fully stick to your request (I'm sorryyy TvT) but I hope you like it anyway!
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aperrywilliams · 10 months ago
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If Anything, I Find it Educative (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Part 1: If Anything I Find It Educative
Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t
Part 3: Douchebag Falls Short in This Case
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.
Summary: Spencer is not happy attending the annual FBI Gala this year. Having to socialize with a woman who only wants to seduce him makes it worse. But one not-so-fortunate incident could improve his night somehow.
Word Count: 6.8k
Warnings: Awkward Spencer. Morgan is stubborn about Spencer getting 'game.' Spencer spills facts about seafood (oysters), human biting, and cheating. Mention to Spencer's dick (only a phrase). Someone choking on food is described. A toxic relationship and job insecurities are described too. If I forgot something, let me know.
A/N: Okay, people. This is kind of an experiment: I want to know how you think the relationship between Spencer and Reader might evolve (if it evolves at all). Good friends? Romantic relationship rom-com style? An angsty romantic relationship? Friends to lovers? Just lovers? What important things do you imagine could happen to them? (canon or not). What could be the Reader's whole back story?
This is just a one-shot, but I am considering continuing it based on your thoughts and suggestions.
Part 2
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Spencer's POV
-----
There are few things I hate more than being surrounded by many people at an event. Standing in the middle of a crowded party dressed in formal attire is one of them. 
It is an uncomfortable occasion highlighted by uncomfortable clothes.
And this time, it's Hotch's fault.
Tonight, I should have been at home, wrapped in a cozy blanket and enjoying my new edition of War and Peace. But the annual FBI gala and Hotch's adamant request blew my plans.
"Strauss wants to see the whole team at the venue this year. And we are in a very thin line with her to ignore her wishes."
No one seemed conflicted with the idea of attending this fancy party. Even some of my teammates looked excited about it. While JJ and Garcia chatted animatedly for days about what dress they would choose, Morgan saw it as a chance to get to know the new female agents working at Counterterrorism. Rossi only wanted to know how good the scotch would be this year, and Prentiss took it as an excuse to have free drinks. For his part, Hotch seemed as calm as any day at work.
But me? I wasn't excited at all.
Reluctantly, I purchased a tuxedo for the gala. At first, I thought about renting one since I would hardly use it again. But my germophobic self made me think again, and I decided the expense would at least make me feel less uncomfortable.
Keyword: a little less uncomfortable.
Now, I'm standing at the entrance, scanning the venue, searching for a familiar face. The place is packed with agents from all divisions and their plus ones, so it's hard to find anything at all.
But a familiar voice pulls me from my struggle.
"Boy genius! Over here!"
Penelope is calling my name from a table in the corner. As my gaze lands on her, I can see Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Hotch there too.
A sigh of relief escapes my lips, and quickly, I stroll where my teammates are.
"Spence! You made it!" JJ greets me as I pull a chair next to Morgan to sit.
"We thought you weren't coming," Emily added before sipping her drink.
"I understood it was a requirement," I quipped, looking at Hotch. The aforementioned man nodded in agreement.
"It was, indeed. Have I to remind you Strauss is still mad about the whole ordeal with you stepping into a building with no vest and no gun?"
Hotch is right. Strauss made his life hell for a whole week until he notified my suspension.
I wince, remembering the incident in question.
Self-note: don't leave behind the vest and the gun again.
"You look very handsome, boy wonder," Garcia chimes, waving her hand and pointing at me.
I can't help but blush at the compliment. It's not she hasn't done it before, and I know she means well, but-
"Maybe pretty boy gets some game tonight," Morgan claps his hand on my shoulder, grinning.
That's why I don't like that kind of attention. At every chance, someone pips up and tries to play wingman or wingwoman for me. And although I appreciate their efforts, I like to move at my own pace. Even if some say my pace, it's more like a turtle's speed.
Giving him a tight-lip smile, I reach for a glass of water. I don't know how I'll survive this night.
Surprisingly, it is okay for now. I fall into conversation with Garcia and JJ, although it is more like me listening and them talking. Occasionally, I add some to the topic, and they seem receptive.
But Derek looks impatient to stand and march to a group of women talking on the opposite side of the venue, next to the bar. I don't look much into it until I feel his hand on my shoulder.
"You're oddly quiet tonight, pretty boy. What's up?" My sight darts from JJ and Penelope to Derek.
"Nothing?" I offer. My eyebrows creace. Derek snickers.
"I know what you need! Come on, let's enjoy the party and come with me to chat with those beautiful agents at the bar over there," he proposes. I shake my head.
"No. I'm good. You can go if you want. I don't think you need my help."
Derek rolls his eyes.
"Don't get dismissive with me. It'll help you to lose a little. I promise," he insists. And I know I'm losing my battle with him tonight.
"As if I had something interesting to say to them," I mumble, loud enough for Derek to hear.
"Don't say that. Surely, some would like to hear about, I don't know, oysters? And how they became a symbol of glamor or whatever. Because I'm sure you know that, right?" Derek points, grabbing an oyster from the tray a waiter offers him.
"Actually, oysters were not considered a status symbol until the 11th century, when the Crusades trunked access to seafood in Europe. Some researchers believe that-"
I'm about to explain the whole thing when Morgan cuts me off.
"See? Now, don't waste that knowledge with me, and let's share it with those gorgeous, shall we?"
I'm screwed.
I reluctantly stand to follow Derek. I know he's the best intention even if I won't tell him that. Maybe he's right, and I need to step out of my comfort zone occasionally.
As smoothly as only Morgan can be, he interrupts the conversation between three women by the bar. You would think they would return annoyed looks from the sudden interruption, but they did not. It is everything but that.
"Excuse me, beautiful ladies. Hope you don't mind some company. My friend and I thought it would be an honor to share part of your precious time tonight."
How the fuck can he do that?!
The result shocked me almost more than it impressed me. The three turn to us with flirting smiles flashing to Derek. And me?
That's new. And, of course, I have to blush furiously at that.
"Hey, handsome. Sweet talk, uh?" One of the girls teases Derek while the others giggle.
"I know I can do better, but you make me nervous, sweetheart," Morgan banters as smoothly as the beginning.
And that's it. We have their full attention now. Scratch that; Derek has their full attention now.
He asks for their names, and that's how I know the woman who spoke first is Vivian, and her friends are Julie and Ashley. The three of them work in the Counterterrorism Division.
"And who is your good-looking friend?" Ashley asks, skimming at me.
Why is she looking at me from head to toe?
Derek glances at me, and I understand it's time for me to say something.
"I'm Spencer," I wave.
Short and precise.
"Hi, Spencer. You are cute," Ashley points, and suddenly, my mouth goes dry.
As Emily once said, my IQ slashes to 60 when I'm in front of a beautiful woman. And Ashley is a beautiful woman. Her long, stylish blond hair, blue eyes, tan skin with perfect makeup, gorgeous smile, and a dress that accentuates her body in the right places. It would be stupid to say she is not attractive.
"Why don't we go to the dance floor while Ashley and Spencer get to know each other better, uh?" Derek offers to Julie and Vivian, winking at me.
Oh, Lord. Help me.
I don't think Derek or Ashley would appreciate it if I refused to stay here and run to the nearest exit. So I give Ashley a tight smile and prepare myself for whatever comes now.
"Well...?" she prompts, and I don't know what the fuck she expects me to say.
"Yeah. Nice party," I offer, hoping my attempt to small talk works.
Ashley's smile suggests it does.
"It is. Are you having fun?"
No.
"Yes! A lot! Are you?"
"Yeah. But I think it turns out better now," she says, subtly closing some distance between us with a playful look directed at me.
Is she flirting with me?
I clear my throat to appease some of my nerves. I need to cool off. If Derek can do this, I should try.
A waitress approaches us and offers some drinks. Ashley picks a glass of wine, and I prefer a flute of champagne. I don't usually drink alcohol, but I need it now.
"Slow down, boy. People would think I make you nervous," Ashley points seductively when she notices how I quickly down the liquid.
My eyes widen when she rests a hand on my chest and leans to whisper in my ear.
"I don't bite. Unless you want me to."
Okay. That sounds very straightforward.
I should feel flattered. An attractive woman is more than insinuating me right now; I barely said anything. But it doesn't feel like that.
Derek surely would tell me, 'Take it and play it, pretty boy,' but I don't feel like it. If we could engage in a kind of conversation, I would feel more comfortable. Don't get me wrong. I know what a potential one-night stand means, but I'm not good at it. That's how I am. Sue me.
I want to turn her down gently, so I do what I know to do, and people usually hate me for it: spit information.
"Compared with other mammals, like dogs and bears, humans don't have the strongest bite. Scientists measure the pressure exerted by an animal's bite in pounds per square inch or psi. The human bite force is 162 psi. The bite force of some dogs can reach 250 psi, while some bears have a bite force of over 1,000 psi. It's interesting, actually-"
Ashley is now looking at me, confused. She retreats his hand from my chest and hums, faking interest in what I'm saying.
As I go on with my info dump, I notice how Ashley changes her empty glass of wine to a filled one when a server offers it.
Aside from 'interesting,' 'oh,' and 'uhm,' she doesn't add more to the conversation - or more likely, my rambling - and by now, you would think she's tired of me. But no. For God knows what reason, she is persistent. I give her that.
Typically, I can ramble on and on, which is not the exception. The waiters and waitresses keep coming with drinks and food, and even I pick some for myself.
When they offer us a tray with oysters, I can't help but recall what Morgan told me before.
As I see Ashley ushering one to her mouth, I deliver an exciting fact about it.
"Did you know that raw oysters are still alive? Indeed, some people argue oysters might feel pain, and others say that because they don't have a central nervous system, they don't feel pain like other seafood species might."
Not looking at her, I focus on my oyster, inspecting it before continuing.
"If it's that so, the question is when they die actually. This is likely to happen when they are shucked rather than when they are chewed or swallowed. Scientists think this because an oyster's heart is right next to the bottom adductor muscle, so separating it from the shell kills it."
I should have known the lack of response wasn't due to the interest in the topic, although speaking was impossible for her. Her face's blueness and her hand on her neck now tell me something is wrong.
Fuck. She is choking.
I don't know what to do. She is choking on an oyster, and I'm paralyzed. The people around us start to scream as they see her turning blue. That picks everyone's attention, and I want to dig a hole to get into right now. But first, I should do something to help her. Before I can reach for her, a pair of arms hugs Ashley from behind and applies the Heimlich Maneuver. After a few thrusts into the abdominal area, we see the oyster fly from her mouth to somewhere on the floor.
At the same time, Vivian, Julie, and Derek rush to us to find out what is going on.
Ashley starts coughing, and some of her natural color returns to her face. The arms around her torso loosen, and that's when I notice the woman who just saved her life from choking.
Everything happens so fast that I barely register the slap across my face—Ashley's courtesy.
A collective 'Uhhh' is heard around us.
Before I can say anything, Ashley starts a rant full of anger and frustration toward me.
"Are you fucking crazy? Why would you say something like that? It's disgusting!"
Ironically, I'm speechless now.
What is wrong with talking about oysters?
"You fucking weird!" Ashley continues with her rant. It's like she has been holding it since we were left alone.
The woman who helped Ashley now looks between me and her with her eyebrow creased.
"Hey. You should take it easy. You're just recovering from-" 
She can't finish the sentence since Ashley turned to lash out at her.
"Don't fucking tell me what to do! I almost died because of this pathetic nerd here who can't stop rambling about alive oysters! Just thinking about it makes me sick again!"
"Could it be a hint for not eating them anymore?" I muse, gaining a chuckle from the woman - let's call her the savior - and a deadly glare from Ashley. I recoil from saying anything else, and it is the wiser.
"I should have known better than to engage my time with you. Even if you actually pack a big dick, it doesn't worth it!" she whisper-yell at me, but loud enough for Derek, Vivian, Julie, and the mystery-savior woman to hear.
I'm utterly confused and embarrassed. What have to do my dick with all of this? 
Derek is now dispersing the crowd around us as Vivian and Julie try to soothe her friend's anger, rubbing her back and arm.
I bet they see Ashley's wrath boiling and the high probability of her launching towards me to punch me. Their efforts to subdue her seem to work because, after a loud huff, Ashley only grabs her coat from Vivian's hand and spits at me: "Thanks for ruining my night!"
The three pass by my side to one of the exits venue.
I don't even know how I should feel.
I feel upset because my escape plan didn't go as planned. I feel relieved because Ashley didn't die. Hurt? Yeah, that, too. I didn't deserve a slap on my face. She calling me a pathetic nerd? Sadly, I'm not surprised. And it only confirms my theory I'm not good at this kind of setting.
With the show over and people not focused on me anymore, Derek approaches. I know what he wants to say, but I don't want to hear it. I'm done for tonight.
"Don't say it," I cut him off.
"I wasn't gonna say anything," he tells me with a sympathetic look, holding his hands up in surrender.
"Sure you not," I grumble. "And what was about that comment about my… dick?" I whisper to him.
Derek's face tries to remain neutral, but I know him better.
"What did you do?" I demand to Morgan, and he sighs.
"I may or may not have suggested a rumor about your attributes."
I look at him in disbelief.
"Shut the fuck up! You did not!"
"Come on, pretty boy. It worked! You caught their attention, didn't you?"
I shake my head, trying not to snap at him in public. Morgan can see the distress I'm carrying right now and relents.
"I'm sorry, Reid. I thought it would be a good chance for you to show yourself around. You're a good kid; you deserve to have a good time."
It's useless to engage in this argument again. I understand his good intentions, but like this? No, thanks.
"I better get going," I mumble, walking backward. I'm done for the night.
"Reid..." Morgan starts, but the shake of my head cuts him off. He sighs as I turn to head to one of the exits.
Walking through one of the venue's doors, I find myself on a lateral terrace. I stop for a moment to look around. 
If there were different circumstances, I would be enjoying this view. To the front, you can see a beautiful and thick green shrubbery. Several fountains with little waterfalls and statues recreate a neoclassical garden. It is no coincidence since the property where the venue is located is a typical Jefferson's Neo-Palladian construction with high ceilings and large columns.
My architectural appreciation stops when my eyes land on a woman with her back leaning against one of the columns, her left hand resting on the concrete railing, and her right hand with a glass of wine. Her face is turned to the side, and she is observing the beautiful garden in front of her.
I know her. I've seen her before.
Although it is dark outside, the light from the venue's long windows illuminates the terrace enough.
My brain comes up with the answer in a fraction of a second.
Is the woman who saved Ashley from choking. 
After what she did, nobody even thanked her. The worst part is knowing Ashley behaved that poorly with her. It's not fair. And it's my fault.
With that in mind, I approach her.
She seems too concentrated to register I'm just a foot of distance from her. I clear my throat to call her attention.
She turns her head with a confused look at first. But she offered me a kind smile when she realized who I was.
It's my first chance to look at her; with everything happening so fast, I barely noticed her trying to talk back to Ashley moments ago. 
And now that I'm in front of her, I feel weirdly struck.
Besides her beautiful smile, her eyes hold a piercing gaze, but not the kind that frightens you. It's more like she actually sees you and gives you her undivided attention. With light makeup, her face lets you see some of her freckles. With her hair tied to one side, you can see her neck adorned with a simple gold chain with a compass-shaped pendant.
My not-so-subtle scrutiny is interrupted by her voice.
"Can I help you?" She asks, and my cheeks turn pink. But I'm here for a reason, so I clear my throat before speaking.
"Sorry. I - uh. I'm sorry for bothering you, but I wanted to thank you. For what you did back there," I say, pointing to the inside. "And, well, I want to apologize too. Ashley wasn't very kind to you, considering you mostly saved her life."
She tilts her head slightly, a frown forming, while contemplating what to say.
"Well," she starts. "I'll take the thanks. But I can't take the apologies."
Now, it's my turn to frown.
"Oh, okay. Uh - Why not?"
Not that she should do it. It's her right to do it or not, but I'm curious.
"Because you didn't do anything wrong to me, so you don't have to," she shrugs, like it's obvious.
"I kind of did. I mean, Ashley behaved awful, and I didn't -"
Before I can continue, she shakes her head to stop me.
"No. Don't do that. Why on earth do you want to apologize for someone else's bad manners, considering she treated you like garbage?"
She doesn't say it as if she is upset at me, more likely as if she doesn't understand why I would do that. And yes, she has a good point. But someone has to do the right thing, and that's what I say next.
"It's just the right thing to do."
She takes her time, mulling over my words and whether she believes me or not.
"Okay. You're correct. It's the right to do. And it's a shame most people don't do it. But I still believe it is not your responsibility here."
Something is telling me her statement concerns more than Ashley being impolite. But it is not my place to point that.
"But some people do. And that must count as something, I guess. "
It's curious how her look changes from pensive to more light-hearted.
"Okay. You win this time..." she trails off, not knowing how to refer to me.
"Spencer," I supply. She hums.
"You win this time, Spencer. And being that said, I accept your apology too," she added, sipping the remaining wine from her glass.
I smile, nodding appreciatively. It's a little gesture, but I feel better after what happened.
Silence settles between us, and I take that as my cue to leave. I had already taken enough of her time.
"Uh, well. Thank you again..."
I trail off, realizing I don't know her name.
"(Y/N)," she says.
"Thank you again, (Y/N). Hope you enjoy the rest of your night."
With that said, I should get on foot to leave the venue, as I had planned to do ten minutes ago, but for some reason, my feet didn't want to move, and I kept standing there. (Y/N) look at me as if I'm going to say something else due to the lack of movement on my part.
"Are you okay?" she asks, and now I have the same question for myself.
"Yeah. Yeah. Totally okay. Sorry, I'm leaving now."
Turning in my heels, I'm about to walk away when I hear (Y/N) 's voice.
"I didn't know that, you know? And, for the record, I didn't think it was disgusting."
I stop in my tracks to look at her with a raised eyebrow. When I catch what she is referring to, my eyes cast to the floor, and my cheeks turn pink again.
"If anything, I found it educative," she adds. I try to decipher if there is some teasing in her words, but I find none. She's being oddly genuine. Oddly, because I'm not used to people saying that when referring to the things I tend to ramble about.
"Thank you," I sheepishly say, my hands finding home in my pant pockets. "People don't tell me that very often."
A puff leaves (Y/N) 's lips before she says, "Ungrateful fuckers." 
I chuckle at her choice of words.
Weird. It's the first time all night that I don't want to run away from here.
"Yeah. Something like that," I agree, and she smiles. Now I'm comfortable enough to make some conversation.
"Uh, are you from Quantico?"
"Yeah. A very adrenalinal position," she prompts, and I raise an eyebrow. "Finance Division."
I can't help but snort, and she laughs. "I told you. What about you?"
"Behavioral Unit Analysis," I reply. (Y/N)' s eyes wide in recognition.
"Wow. The one and only BAU."
"You know us?"
"Sure. I wouldn't forget a unit that has its own jet. I'm the one who enters the travel expenses from all Quantico," she explains. I hum, trying to figure out the amplitude of that sole task. "Like I told you, very exciting."
She is mocking herself regarding her job. But I find it impressive for a desk job. Not all people have the skills to run financials.
"Well, I agree it is not very adrenaline but very important. I mean, we have to travel around the country all the time. Our job depends on traveling."
(Y/N) has now an amused expression on her face.
"It's nice to know someone truly values what you do. Not even our boss does it," she points before letting a deep sigh escape from her lips. "Gosh, I'm being very judgmental right now. You're going to think I spend my life complaining about everything. I do sometimes, but I'm not always like this," she explains. I shake my head.
"I'm not judging you. Everyone has the right to say what things don't like or would change about their jobs."
"Well, thanks. Although I'm sure you guys have more reasons to be concerned. You risk your life on the field every time. That's huge."
She rests the empty glass on the concrete rail, adjusting her coat around her body. The air is chiller at this time of the night.
"You know? People say that a lot. And I agree. It's a dangerous job, but it's not better than anyone's for that reason, or whatever another reason for that matter.
Her eyes are analyzing me with curiosity. I'm not sure, but it's like she's having difficulty believing what I'm saying.
"Can I ask you something, Spencer?"
"Sure."
"Why are you here tonight?"
My eyes narrow at her question. Isn't the reason obvious?
"What do you mean? It's the FBI annual gala," I point out, knowing she already knows that too. She nods.
"Precisely," she starts. "And at the risk of being impertinent, I can say this environment makes you uncomfortable. When you were with that girl talking - scratch that, when you were talking, and she looked at you, trying to devour you with her eyes - you seemed like you didn't want to be there. Above all, knowing this kind of event is basically to show off to other bureau agents, I don't think is your notion of an ideal night."
If I wasn't impressed when we started talking - which I was - I am now. 
She assumes my awe as discomfort.
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to overstep."
"No, no. You are okay. And let me tell you, your observation is completely accurate," I hasten to clarify.
"Yeah?" (Y/N) asks, and I nod earnestly.
"Yeah. Have you not considered applying for a position as a field agent?"
An amused laugh leaves her lips.
"No way! I would be a total disaster! And carrying a gun is not my idea of a dream job anymore," she points out, still laughing. 
I chuckle, but her answer makes me think. Before I can ask for clarification, she calls me out.
"Hey, you didn't answer my question."
I didn't, although the answer is simple.
"My boss made me."
(Y/N) scoff in disbelief.
"What? Did he put a gun against your chest?"
Well, thinking better about it, maybe the answer is not that simple.
"Not quite, but you can say I felt it that way."
I tell (Y/N) how my team always worries about my lack of social interaction, which isn't that accurate if you ask me. However, some of the pressure of doing things that people my age would generally do is finally getting me and pushing me out of my comfort zone.
She listens to me with undivided attention and seems to understand what I'm talking about.
"Peer pressure, uh? I can relate to that to some extent," she agrees.
"That's why are you here tonight, too?"
My question makes her let out a deep sigh as her eyes focus on the garden beside us for a second.
"Not really. Who knows, maybe I do enjoy being here?"
(Y/N) phrases it more like a question than a statement. And I can tell she doesn't believe it either.
"Enjoying being apart from the crowd, in a lateral terrace barely illuminated and exposed to the chilly night air? I can think of several other places to do the same thing without the trouble of a gala environment."
Her cheeks turn a shade of pink, which tells me I'm right.
"Not fair, you are a certified profiler," (Y/N) complains, faking annoyance.
"And you haven't answered my question either," I remind her. She rolls her eyes playfully.
"Yeah, yeah. I know. Well, let's say I came here to prove myself something. Spoiler alert: I failed. That's why I have been mostly spending the night here."
I hum, knowing she is vague in explaining, but I'm not in a place to pry.
"Look, I would tell you more about it, but I'm sure you have to return inside. Your teammates are surely wondering where you are."
I can't help but snort, and she raises an eyebrow at my reaction.
"I'm sorry, but your assumption is far from reality. Considering what happened inside, they think I ran home. What I was actually doing before spotting you here," I admit.
"Ha! So it's true I'm holding you back but for a different motive," she triumphantly concludes.
"I didn't say that!" I complain with a hint of exasperation, to which she breathly laughs.
"I know. I know. I'm messing with you. Honestly? There are two reasons why I'm avoiding this topic right now. First, I don't think you want to hear the mess my life is these days, and second, I would kill for a coffee and a sandwich-" she pauses, stifling a chuckle before continuing. "Considering oysters are out of the table."
"Oh, come on!" I groan, seeing how she falls into a fit of laughter, so contagious that I can't help but join her.
"Sorry, sorry. Not very kind of me, I know. But I couldn't help it," she apologizes, still giggling. I bit my lower lip in amusement.
"Alright. It's okay. It's frankly funny," I admit, my words leaving my mouth before I can think of them. "Well, I could tell you more of those moments in my life - many of them - if you let me join you with the coffee and sandwich. I know a good place that is open at this hour. And you can tell me what kind of thing you wanted to prove yourself tonight."
Spencer Reid. Is that you? 
I'm surprised by my sudden confidence, and it seems (Y/N) is, too. She hums, scrubbing her fingers under her chin while contemplating my offer.
"Okay, I'll take it. But don't tell me later that I didn't warn you about the mess of my life," she points her index finger at me.
"I won't. I promise."
-
Grabbing a cab is relatively easy since the FBI considered transportation outside the venue for people who won't be driving.
The fifteen-minute ride allows us to have a light conversation. That's how I know (Y/N) has been in the bureau for almost four years. Being an Accountant by profession and with a Master of Science in Finance from Georgetown, she was recruited for the FBI precisely considering her outstanding skills in the financial department.
She asks me about my trajectory in the FBI as well. I tell her about Gideon and the start of my life at the BAU.
Arriving at our destination, I insist on paying for the ride despite her resistance. I assured her that she could invite me to the coffee.
It must be a curious image for the patrons to see two fully gala-dressed people stepping inside a diner at eleven pm.
We sit on a bench facing each other.
A girl who can't hide her curious expression comes to take our order. As promised, (Y/N) asks for two coffees and two sandwiches.
"So, Agent Gideon recruited you for the FBI. Why did you accept? I would have thought you would be more comfortable in academics," (Y/N) asks, stirring a spoon of sugar in her coffee.
"I thought the same at the time. But Gideon saw something I didn't. He knew I wouldn't settle with learning and teaching for the rest of my life, and I needed it to be useful beyond that environment."
I explain how profiling has helped us to catch unsubs around the country and how worthy it is for me. I can't think of myself doing anything else. (Y/N) listen to me with raptor interest; it is nice to be heard that way.
"You know? I haven't heard someone speak passionately about their work in a long time. It's good you feel that way," she says with a hint of longing that doesn't go unnoticed by me.
"It is bold of me to assume you don't like what you do?"
Maybe I'm overstepping, but I'm curious. And (Y/N) doesn't seem bothered by my question. Shifting in her seat, she leans, resting her elbows on the table.
"Not bold at all, mister profiler," she teases. "But not always has been that way. I would say I started to feel uncomfortable not long ago. A couple of months, perhaps?"
I hum, thinking about what could have made her feel that way.
"It has to do with why you were at the gala tonight?"
She chuckles, nodding.
"Kind of. Remember I told you I wanted to prove myself something? Well, it has to do with what has been bothering me," she prefaces.
(Y/N) relates how things have gone well since she got into the FBI. She felt respected, wanting to do many things and learn everything she could. 
That's how she met her boyfriend.
"I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, much less at work. I wanted to be professional, separating my private life from my job. But he was so attentive and supportive. He always told me he was happy I felt fulfilled with what I was doing. He was so perfect I thought I had found my soulmate."
I don't know exactly where she is going, but sure as hell, that prick wasn't her soulmate.
"What happened?"
"One day, I wasn't good enough for him anymore. After two years of relationship, he started with harsh comments and criticism about everything I did and didn't do."
A humorless chuckle escapes her lips.
"I should have noticed. By then, he was promoted from desk duty and junior trainee to field agent. He had always wanted it, and I felt so happy for him. But that changed everything."
(Y/N) tells me about how her boyfriend stopped listening to her, and instead, every topic of conversation turned to his job, implying - sometimes saying it explicitly - that it was more important than hers.
"It's not only the fact we stopped communicating; it was realizing how low he thought about me and my accomplishments. At first, I tried to understand. Of course, he was dazed by this new life, full of danger and adrenaline. I could understand it. But when he started comparing me to his female colleagues and the things they were doing, way more important than the ones I was doing, it made me insecure."
(Y/N) takes time to collect her thoughts, sipping the remaining coffee from the cup.
"The insecurities got the best of me. At some point, I just wanted to run away and leave it all behind. I knew it was irrational, but I believed him. I even thought about changing my career and training to be a field agent. Good thing we broke up before I could do that," she admits.
"What stopped you? I mean, like you're telling this, you were going to change for him," I ask. She cast her gaze, averting mine. Her cheeks turn pink.
"I don't like to admit it, but the reason we broke up wasn't because I realized how stupid the situation was. We broke up because he cheated on me. I discovered it two months ago, breaking the camel's back."
Fuck. That prick was not meant to be her soulmate. And I feel the urge to have one or two words with him right now.
"I'm sorry." It's the only thing I manage to say. (Y/N) shakes her head.
"Nah. If anything, I'm glad it happened. Even if it broke my heart."
"He was at the gala, right?" (Y/N) nods.
"With the coworker that he chose to cheat on me. His current girlfriend."
Everything makes perfect sense now. (Y/N) was trying to prove to herself that the wound had healed. And from what she said earlier, it didn't turn that way.
She bitterly chuckles.
"Yeah. It's pathetic, I know."
Spencer, do something.
"No! It's not. Unfortunately, cheating is not uncommon, particularly in men. In 2020, IFS released a report stating that 20% of men have admitted to cheating, and only 10% have. In 2021, the Health Testing Centers asked 441 people who admitted infidelity to their partners and asked how long it took for them to tell their partners about it. 47.7% of the respondents told their partner within a week that they'd cheated. 26.6% of those have waited for a month, and 25.7% took six months or longer to tell their partner about the infidelity. And 60% of them said the affair started in a work environment."
And then again, the rambling. But instead of giving me a blank look, (Y/N) seems to consider what I just said.
"Maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about it then. Anyway, it hasn't been easy to get out of this. I thought going to the gala and forcing myself to see them together would be enough to get a closure," she reflects.
"But it still hurts," I supply, making (Y/N) hum.
"Yeah. I'm not ready, and it sucks. Not for him, but for me. I hate feeling so out of place, so dissatisfied with everything," (Y/N) retorts, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest.
Her eyes look sad, and I want to do something to fix it, although I know that nothing I can say would be enough. Maybe joking will at least get her off the topic.
"And there I was talking about oysters all night," I sigh, feigning disapproval. Genuine laughter escapes her lips.
I didn't know that making her laugh could fill my heart so much with satisfaction.
"That's life," she adds, now checking the time on her cell phone. "I think I'll get going," she announces, collecting her things and preparing to stand.
"Can I walk you home? It's very late already," I ask.
"Oh no, don't worry about me. My building is not far from here."
I know she doesn't want to cause trouble, but it makes me uneasy about what could happen to her walking alone at this hour.
Thank you, BAU.
"Please?" I insist. (Y/N) raises an eyebrow.
"Aren't you already fed up with me?" she asks curiously.
"Non yet," I grin.
Not having the energy to put up a fight, she accepts my offer, and after paying the bill, we leave the restaurant.
The night is colder now, and both of us walk in silence with our hands in our pockets.
I can't know what exactly she's thinking, but at least I can't stop thinking about tonight. For someone like me, it's hard to fall into spontaneity, but with (Y/N), it wasn't a problem. That amazes me, and I like it at the same time.
When she stops walking, I get out of my thoughts.
"Here," she says, looking at the building we are standing by. "Thank you for walking with me," (Y/N) states, smiling. It's the same warm smile she offered when I found her on the venue's terrace a couple of hours ago.
"Of course. It's the less I could do."
And I mean it. She saved my night in so many ways she doesn't even know.
"Well, I need to say it was a pleasure to share this shit of a night with you and turned it less shitty," she says, grinning and satisfied with her remark.
I laugh at her statement. I couldn't have said it better.
"Thank you. It's the best compliment I have had in a long time," I joke, making (Y/N) giggle.
"You are welcome."
I have the question on the tip of my tongue. I would love to see her again, but what if she doesn't think it's worth it? I opt for the vaguest thing that comes to mind.
"See you around?"
(Y/N) thinks about it for a moment. Am I being too obvious? Before falling into a spiral, she smiles at me again.
"Yeah, sure. Why not."
I can't help but feel the excitement pouring from me.
"Great! Well, I - I'll go now. Good night (Y/N)," I say goodbye, slowly walking backward.
"Good night, Spencer," she retorts before entering the building.
I watch her disappear behind the door, and I think that while neither of us got what we wanted, maybe we got what we needed.
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Next -> Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t
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A/N 2: I'm excited to know your thoughts about this!
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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity
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estinininininen · 1 year ago
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look i've read/watched/played a lot of fantastical stories and i love creative displays of how mind-boggingly alien different cultures can possibly get.
but there is something just. so viscerally frightening to me about ishgard and their communal table salt lick and i can't stop thinking about it. ishgard is already framed as a foreign place to the warrior of light/the player so everyone in-story is patiently explaining the importance of the church of halone and ishgard's history because everyone knows the big stuff has to be explained to an outsider. but something small the ishgardians think is normal would slip right past.
i'm ready to laugh myself sick any time of day at the idea of the warrior sitting down to eat at fortemps manor for the first time, emotionally drained and scared. and one of these finicky nobles you have to trust your life with just picks up a pale rock you thought was a centerpiece with a curiously smooth, maybe even already damp worn surface, opens their mouth, sticks out their tongue, and SCHLURPS
i would feel such visceral horror. briefly wonder if i had fallen in faerie-land/the dark world/the upside-down. it would only increase as i look left and right and everyone else continues eating calmly. only maybe if haurchefant were there would someone realize how weird that would seem to outsiders and laugh at my expression.
it's like in the simpsons when homer time travels, sits back down to dinner, and discovers the butterfly effect gave everyone lizard tongues. it's so close to a normal dinner time interaction and yet incredibly far. you think ishgard must have a weird supersition about it to explain. "what, is - is it bad luck to break up a salt lump?" you ask
"no" haurchefant says. "it's just always been done this way"
and so often in any society there is no better explanation than just that but this is so fuckkng weird it would briefly make you question all normal human instincts if ishgard thinks this is okay. that is such silly, terrifying, and superfluous world bulding. it's great.
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insidekatmind · 2 months ago
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The Unexpected Encounter- Trent Arnold x reader feat.Jude Bellingham
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London was a mosaic of lights and memories that hit you like a punch in the gut every time you walked its streets. This time, though, the city felt different. Maybe because you were back with Jude Bellingham, the guy who had managed to pick up the pieces of your heart after your breakup with Trent Arnold.
Years had passed since the last time you saw Trent. Your story had been intense but crumbled under the weight of expectations and the different paths your lives had taken. Jude, with his sweetness and unconditional support, had become your safe haven.
Jude had been called up to play in the Euros with England, and the two of you decided to arrive a few days earlier to enjoy some time together.
---
It was a quiet evening, and Jude insisted on taking you to an elegant restaurant in central London.
"You can't come to London without trying this place," he said with a smile, his soft accent making your heart melt.
As you entered, your eyes landed on a group of people at the bar. Your heart skipped a beat when you recognized that familiar figure: Trent. He was there with a few teammates, laughing and chatting as if nothing had changed.
"Are you okay?" Jude asked, noticing your sudden silence.
"He's here," you murmured, trying to stay calm.
Jude followed your gaze and understood immediately. "Trent," he said, his tone neutral but with a hint of surprise.
Before you could respond, Trent looked up and saw you. His eyes met yours for a moment that felt like an eternity. Then his gaze shifted to Jude.
Later, while Jude went to the bathroom, Trent seized the chance to approach your table.
"I didn’t think you’d come back to London," he said, his voice deeper than you remembered.
"Neither did I," you replied, trying to sound indifferent.
"And now you're with Jude?" he asked, his intense gaze making you uncomfortable.
"Yeah, we've been together for a while," you answered, trying to keep your composure.
Trent shook his head, a bitter half-smile on his face. "It's ironic, isn’t it? One of my best friends."
"I didn’t plan any of this, Trent. It just happened," you replied firmly.
"It always just happens, doesn’t it?" he said, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "But did you ever think about how complicated this would be?"
"Is something wrong?" Jude's voice interrupted the conversation, and you turned to see him approaching. His gaze shifted between you and Trent, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Nothing important," Trent replied, though his tone betrayed irritation.
"If it’s not important, then maybe it’s better to let us finish our dinner," Jude said, his tone calm but firm.
Trent stared at him for a long moment before slowly nodding. "Enjoy London," he said, directing the words to you with a look that seemed to hold everything he couldn’t say aloud.
---
Later that evening, back at the hotel, Jude sat on the bed and looked at you intently.
"So?" he asked.
"So what?" you tried to buy time, knowing exactly where he was going.
"How do you feel after seeing him again?"
You sighed, sitting down next to him. "It’s not easy. It never was with him."
"I’m sorry if I put you in a tough spot," Jude said, taking your hand.
"It’s not your fault. I love you, Jude. Trent is part of the past. You’re my present, and I want you to be my future."
Jude smiled, pulling you closer. "And I want to be all that for you. But if there’s anything you want to tell me about him, we can talk about it."
You shook your head, looking into his eyes. "There’s nothing to say. It’s over with him. With you, it’s everything."
Jude kissed you softly, and in that moment, you knew you had made the right choice.
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gauloiseblue · 10 months ago
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And at every table / I'll save you a seat
(Gaz × Reader)
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[+18 | Adult Content MDNI]
Tags: fluff, smut, family issue, friends to lovers, slow burn, [A bit of warning] tradition view on virginity and marriage, piv sex
Words: 9.8k
It all started with a little request
"Will you take my virginity?"
He's taken aback by the ask, but he quickly regains his composure.
"No." He replied.
You look at him for a while, before you mutter out, "I understand."
"Wait," He grabs your hand before you could turn around, "Let's talk about it."
He observes the hesitation rising from your face when you look away, "I don't think you'd understand."
"You haven't tried yet." He smiles gently, "Try me, (Name)."
"... It's a long story."
"I got time for it." He told you, "Tea?"
With that, he invites you into his place.
You're silent when he offers you a seat, and he lets you sit with your thoughts as he works on the drink. It's not your first visit to his apartment, since you've been here quite often. But you never came with a somber mood, and he didn't know what to say to cheer you up.
He hands you the cup, before he pours the tea from the pot. He hears you murmur something, and though he doesn't quite catch it, he can roughly guess it.
"So," He began as he sat down across the table, "Would you mind telling me why you suddenly wanna lose it?"
You had blown the steam away from the cup, before you took a sip. He watches you take your time with the drink, until you're ready to talk.
"I know that I said I'm keeping myself until marriage, but I don’t think it's possible now." You bit your lip, as you fidgeted with the handle of your cup, "Because I'm going to be wed to someone I didn't know."
He raises his brows at your statement, "That practice still exists today?"
"Yes, it still does." You begin to explain the outline of the story. "My family came from a community that still holds an orthodox belief. My parents aren't conservative, but they can't escape the tradition either. When they told me about the engagement, I begged them to call it off, yet they asked me to go with it. But I don't want that. I don't want to be trapped in a loveless marriage." Your eyes shift as you hold back tears, "I know that they love me, if they don't, I won't be here. Away from home."
You quickly wipe your cheek before you continue, "The man who'll be my husband is highly respected in the community, but he's at the same age as my mother. I don't know why he asked for my hand, we barely talked. But for the last few months, he began to send me gifts. It's customary for a suitor to give the girl presents as a way of courting. Anyway, I won't bore you with the details."
He waits for you to gather your thoughts, before you start again.
"To be a bride, it's common for a girl to go through a ceremony, to see if the girl is suitable for marriage. I have to fulfill all of certain criteria to be recognized as a proper fiancée." You snort when you mention it, "Ky, you're a smart person, you must've known what that means."
He crosses his arms when you subtly ask him to make the conclusion. "If you fail the virginity test, then you're ineligible to be a bride."
"There are other factors that can annul the engagement, but yes, purity is the most important aspect for the bride to have." You stated, "If I fail that test, then I can be free from the custom."
"Won't you be shamed for… not being pure?" He carefully asked.
"Yes, but It's better than the other option."
You went quiet after the confession, as if you've retreated back to your shell.
He gazes at you long and closely, while a sense of familiarity comes to rest on him. The way you carry yourself reminds him of the old you—who couldn't look him in the eyes when you both were strangers.
"Say," He begins, as he rubs his face, "If I were to help you, what then?"
"Nothing, we can pretend it never happened."
"You know it's not possible, right?" He frowned, "We can't go back like we used to, at least I can't see it that way."
"I know, but I don’t have a lot of choices." You replied with a sigh, "I can never sleep with a stranger, and I can't do it myself either." You told him, "I have to lose it somehow, but I don’t know how. And the reason I asked you this because you seem to have a lot of experience, so—"
You stop when he presses his hand against his lips. While it's impossible to tell if he blushes or not, you swear you see a red tint on his cheeks.
"You're not…?"
He scratches his neck, as he coyly replies, "My ma raised me well, (Name). Of course I'd save myself before marriage."
"Oh—" You cover your mouth in shock, "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked you—"
"It's alright." He smiles, "How much time you have left until the ceremony?"
"About a month." You answered.
"I'll help you then." He said with such ease, that it made you stare at him wide-eyed, "But let me take you to a date first."
"What," You gulped, "What do you—Why? I thought… you said no…?"
"I hate seeing you like this, and I don't want you to resort to one night stand." He told you, "Besides, you didn't force me into this."
"But I did make you sympathize with me." You shook your head, "That's why you changed your mind."
"I said no because I knew you're saving yourself for marriage."
"But you said that you did too."
"That makes us even then." He tilts his head, "I'll take yours, and you'll take mine."
You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out of it. Not because you're at loss for words, rather, you have too many questions in your head.
"You can decide how many dates we'll go before you decide if you want to do it." He reaches out to squeeze your hand, "How's that sound?"
Although you're still unsure at that time, you can't help but nod at the offer.
The first time he takes you on a date, it's on Sunday, 07:20 PM, at an independent cinema. He phoned you earlier, telling you that they're going to play an old romantic film.
"I thought you like mystery?"
"Yeah, but you wouldn't pick that on the first date." He grins, "Besides, the movie has Binoche in it."
By the time you arrive at the cinema, you spot him talking to another man by the ticket booth. He turns his head when he hears your call, before the other man leans to the side to see you.
"You're early." You told him.
"I could say the same to you." He said with a smile, "The movie's starting in 10, c'mere."
He extends his hand towards you, and you take it with a little bit of apprehension.
The man whistles when he drapes his arm around your shoulders, "I see ya bringing a date tonight."
"Yeah," He turned to you, "Ain't she pretty?"
His friend chuckles when your face turns red, "Can't argue with that."
"Well, we'll talk later. I'm gonna show her around for a bit." He gives the man a pat on his arm, "You still have that shrine of yours?"
"'Course!" He warmly retorted, "Wouldn't close it for ya."
He mutters something back to him, and the man gives him a thumb up. When the two of you part with him, you ask him about the shrine.
"It's just a room full of merchs." He explains, "He's a movie fanatic, so when he liked a film, he'd find any of the collectibles."
"Like graphic t-shirts?"
"More than that." He grins, "You'll see."
At the end of the hall, there's a door smaller than the theater one. He opens it for you, and guides you inside.
The room is roughly the size of a humble apartment, but it's filled with many posters and other things you have to see up close to know what they are. Your eyes scan the movie posters that are mounted on the wall, before you turn to a doll. It's a porcelain doll, adorned with old-fashioned clothes. You lift the little paper beneath it and begin to read.
"It's from 'Interview With The Vampire'." You hear him say, "It's one of the collections that he's proud of."
"I've seen that movie years ago." You murmured, while tracing the edge of the paper with your finger, "I didn't understand what the story was about, until I read the book."
"You read the novel?"
You nod, "I still read it from time to time. Oh, would you look at that." He turns his gaze towards the spot you point at, "Didn't we watch that movie together?"
"Mulholland Drive?" He rubs his chin, "Didn't you say you hate it?"
"Well, I did. But it's been stuck in my head since then." You turn on your heel and skim through the titles of the posters, "I see a lot of foreign movies but not french." You commented, "Isn't he a movie fanatic?"
"He is. Just not a hypocritical one." He replied, "He told me that many of the French directors are lecherous, and they like to put their fantasies into their movies. Guess what caused them to earn a good rating?"
"I don't know, affinity bias?"
"Precisely." He grins, "He likes a few French films though, like Plein Soleil, Amélie, Playtime,"
"Léon?" You smirk.
"He'd berate you if you ever mentioned that name in front of him."
You laugh at his playful warning, "I think I like him."
"Too bad, he already has a wife." He circles his arm around you, "Why don't I introduce you to someone else?"
You roll your eyes at him, as you're so used to hearing those words.
"Yeah, his name is Kyle Garrick, and he's currently single."
"Come on, you loved it the first time you heard it."
"Well, I did laugh at it, but it's getting old." You jest as you poke in his ribs, "Try something else, and maybe I'll fall for it."
And he gives you a response that gets you burst into a laughing fit. You shove him away as you retort back, ignoring the quiet tension that begins to hang in the air.
When the two of you enter the theater, he places his hand on your back as he guides you to your seat. Though it's just a small gesture, it sends a warm feeling to your stomach.
He settles down beside you, and his arm brushes against yours. The seats are quite broad compared to the commercial cinema, but still, there's not much space left between you and him. You try not to think about it too much, as you rest your hand on the same armrest as his.
The opening of the film with the scenery of a small town, before it shows the greetings between churchgoers and the neatly dressed gentleman. It then cuts to a standing crowd, who begins their worship with singing. You frown when you listen to the narrator, as she portrays the minds of the villagers as singular. As the hymn comes to an end, the parishioners bend down to sit on the pews, before the pastor climbs up to give a sermon. The colors of the scene contrasts with the next bit, as it cuts to two figures in the middle of the snow. The figures are covered with red hoods that they hold tightly as they walk against the wind.
The movie soon changes right after the wind blows the church door open. It focuses on the two figures earlier—a mother, and a daughter, as they begin to settle down at their new house.
Scene after scene, the narratives begin to blur into one, and you let yourself be immersed into the flow of the film. Instinctively, your body leans forward as you watch the chocolate and the store begin to take form. Yet in doing so, you missed the look your friend gave.
When the first conflict happens, you can't help but show your dislike towards the man—the well-dressed man from the beginning. But it soon dissipates when the woman invites her guest inside.
They talk for a little while, and the way she—her guest behaves, the clumsiness that she shows—that makes her look like a cornered cat, it almost looks surreal, as if you're watching yourself from the future scope. You press your hand against your lips, as the crease between your eyes deepens.
Perhaps it's just the right moment, or perhaps your thoughts spill over into his, that he decides to push your head gently onto his shoulder.
You were taken aback by the gesture, but you welcomed it. You murmur something to him, as you wrap your hand around his arm.
"What?" He asked in a low tone.
"Nothing." You told him while hiding your smile.
Kyle Garrick. You wonder if kind has always been his middle name. If it's not kind, then it must be thoughtful. It must be nice, to receive such affection from a man like him. In the midst of thoughts cartage, you begin to ponder, if it's alright for you to keep them from someone who's more deserving.
At the end of the movie, you slip your hand from his arm, as you stand up from your seat. You still remember the way he understands, and doesn't push further. He keeps the rest of the night in a lighthearted mood, though his hand lingers on you a little longer, and his gaze doesn't stray further from you, even just a little bit.
That night, you lay down on your bed with your thoughts as your lullaby. It doesn't help you sleep, but it does keep you company for the night.
The next day, you ask him if he's free on Friday.
It's curious how fast he responded back, considering that he still got jobs to do, particularly reports. When you read the message, you bite your lips as you type a new one.
'Wanna have dinner together?'
A new chat pops up in a second.
'Sure'
And another one after.
'When?'
'Today' You reply, 'Takeouts?'
'Let me cook for ya'
And it's settled.
When you show up on his doorstep, he opens it up the first time you ring the bell.
"Hey," He greets you with a grin, and you notice a red stain on his shirt, "Come in."
"Smells good." You commented as you stepped in, "What are you cooking?"
"Bolognese." He replied, "I haven't decided on the pasta yet. What do you want? Pappardelle or spaghetti?"
"Fusilli?" You said, before a smile betrays your lie, "Anything's fine, really."
"Pick a color then. Yellow or blue?"
"Yellow."
"Pappardelle then."
You thought it's just a random decider, until you saw the color of the packaging.
"Guess you're used to people who say it's up to you." You remarked while you climbed on the bar stool.
"You can say that." He chuckles as he drops the pasta into the pot.
"Were they your dates?"
"Pshh, no. Just my little brothers and sister. You know the story."
"I know." You trailed off and looked away, "But you must've had those moments in your dates."
"Like what you did earlier?" He smirks and you groan at him.
"Come on, you know I'd never complain about your choice."
"I know, that's why I like you."
"You always say that."
The conversation ends with a quiet chuckle, as he goes back to watch over the boiling water. You sense a reply from him that should be laid bare, but he left it at surmise.
"Dinner's ready." He announced, as he lifted up the plates from the counter. You follow him to the dining table, and you pull a seat while he places the dishes on the table.
As the two of you dig in, you quietly bite on the broad pasta. You might not be aware of it, but you always chew on your food longer when you're preoccupied with your mind.
You hear his voice as you snap out of your thoughts, but not clear enough for you to grasp.
"What?"
"It's alright if you wanna back down." He repeated, as he swirled the pasta with his fork, "I agreed to help you because you asked me to, but I know it might make things awkward between us, so."
"Oh, that's not—it's not about that, it's just," You chewed on your lip, "It's just that, when I think about you, I can't help but think that… I'll end up stealing something from you." You shook your head, "You could wait for the right person, you're not obligated to help me—"
"Well, I want to."
"I know, that's why I feel bad because I knew you wouldn't hesitate to help." You frown, "You're too kind for me, Ky. Sometimes I'm scared that I might get the wrong idea."
You almost jump when he holds your hand, and witness the fortitude that reflects in his eyes. "Go ahead then, go on and get the wrong idea. Because it might be true after all."
The way he said it—with a clear, unmistakable voice, drags you into silence. You can't find the words to say, nor the right response for his statement. While you're not entirely sure about the truth, you can see the trace of it on his face.
Your throat begins to tighten, and you try to swallow down whatever's in the way.
You know that he's hopeful that you'd give him some kind of clarity, but you don't. You couldn't.
After the dinner, you don’t extend your visit as you excuse yourself from staying.
"Let me take you home."
You shake your head, "I'll be fine."
"Are you sure?"
You shoot him a smile, "Yes, don't worry about me."
He seems hesitant for a moment, but it disappears the moment you pull him into a hug.
"I'll call you when I'm home."
He picks up the phone at the second ringtone, and asks you if you're home. You give an affirmative answer, before the line turns silent.
The words that had wrapped around your throat came back to the surface. They beg to be let out of your tongue, but you bite them down. Not now. Not yet.
The call ends not long after, as you both say goodnight. As you sit down on the vanity stool, you look at the reflection of you in the mirror. It's the shape that you've known so well, and yet, you don't recognize it at the same time. Has your face already been like this? Is this what he always sees whenever you're around?
Absent-mindedly, you reach up to touch your lips. What would you taste like, if he ever kissed you?
Unfortunately, you can only imagine for now.
Four days would pass, and you soon find yourself waiting for the bell. He had messaged you earlier, telling you that he'll pick you up at your place.
The destination of your date is still unknown, since you only asked him to take you to somewhere quiet. Somewhere you can talk without the presence of curious ears. Of course, the first thought that came to your mind is the privacy of your home, but he got another idea, and kept it as a surprise.
"Bring a jacket with you." He told you on the phone, "You might need it."
But you don't know how cold it'll be, so you stick with a cardigan.
When he gets to your place, he doesn't ring the bell. Instead, you hear your phone rings, before a honk of a car announces his arrival. You walk out of your place and lock the door behind.
"Where are we going?" Is the question you asked him after you got into his car.
"You'll find out." He replied with a grin.
He doesn't give you any clue, other than the paper bag on the back seat. He also told you that it's a one-hour drive, so it's alright if you want to rest your eyes.
"I'm fine." You said, as you turned on the radio.
The ride is predominantly filled with songs, and the occasional chat between you and him.
On the other day, you either wouldn't stop talking, or you'd sit in comfortable silence. But that morning, both options seem unreachable.
"I'm sorry." You uttered quietly.
"What?"
"Sorry that I dragged you into this." You muse, "And I'm sorry that I made such a big deal out of it. I made things worse, didn't I?"
"Why'd you say that?"
"Because things have already changed between us, even when we haven't done anything."
"You think so?"
"Yes," You divulged, "When you said those things, I couldn't help but think that maybe you really meant it. But then again, you never told me anything before. Anything that could… indicate something."
"Are you sure?" You frown at his reply, "Think again, (Name)."
"What—?"
The car comes to a halt, and you snap your head towards the window. The usual view of the city has been replaced with trees. You stare at the board near the entrance, and you notice the words 'National Park' on it.
"We're here." He stated while unbuckling the seat belt.
You soon follow him as you push the door open. The cold air rushes inside, and makes you shiver.
He offers you his hand when you step out of the car. "Let's take a walk."
The trail that he chooses isn't as rough as you thought, and you can easily keep up with his speed. Though you knew that he slowed it down for you.
As you walk by his side, you feel a tug on your hand. It was his hand, and he wrapped it around yours. He smiles when you turn to him, and mutters out the same line he used whenever you're out with him.
"Wouldn't want to lose you here."
And it just clicked. Every piece of the puzzle just falls into the right place, and you begin to see the whole picture. He never changed at all, it was you who's changing.
"You like me."
You feel his hold tightens, before he loosens it up a second after.
"Like is an understatement."
"I'm afraid to use the stronger word."
"I know." He spoke softly, "That's why I never said it."
At the end of the path, a quiet lake waits for the two of you, providing a place for a silent conversation. The water is calm, but the breeze is colder than before. You hug yourself, trying to savor the little warmth that your cardigan provides. It doesn't take seconds before you hear a rustle, and feel yourself wrapped in a parka.
"Told you to bring a jacket." He murmured, as he held the garment for you.
His coat is warm, as if it has absorbed the heat of his skin. Your hands slip into the sleeves, before you roll up the cuffs. You watch his face as he zips up the parka, before he returns your gaze.
Perhaps it's him who leans closer, or it's you who wraps your hands around him first, but in the end, your lips meet with his. The kiss you both share is soft, and filled with longing. It's impossible to tell who's feeling it belongs to, but it envelopes around you like a mist.
When the two of you part, you smile as you murmur against his lips.
"I like you."
He softly chuckles as he cups your face, "I'm glad."
You both recognize the nuance of it, but no one speaks of it louder than a heartbeat.
I like you. What an understatement.
"Why do you like me?"
He lifts his head from the magazine when he hears your question.
"I could tell you all of the reasons, but at the end of the day, I simply like you."
"Really?" You roll your eyes, "Is that your way of saying you don't know?"
He lets out a small laugh, while he closes the mag. "Fine, I'll tell you." He begins, "I can't remember when it was, but we're pretty close at that time. We were just talking that night, and you asked me if I chose to be the giver because I felt uncomfortable receiving. I never thought about it, but it made sense. When I said yes, you told me, if I don't learn to receive, then I'd end up hurting other people. Because I denied their affection."
You lift your brows at the recount, "Did I really say that?"
"Yes, but it's not your words that got me the most. It's the way you broke my logic, and helped me see things from a new perspective." He stated, "It felt… nice, to be understood by you." He rubs the nape of his neck, "Well, what about you? Why do you like me?"
"I'm not sure." You pucker your lips, "I think I've always liked you. Because you're thoughtful, and it's something that's easier to say than done."
"Just that?"
"What? You want more?"
"Yeah," He smirked, "Go on."
You look at him long and hard, before you decide, "No."
"Why?"
"I'd say something embarrassing."
"Like what?"
"... I'm not telling."
He jumps on the sofa as he seizes your body. You squeal when he digs his fingers on your waists, and you shout, "Cut it out!"
He chuckles when you try to slap his hand away and fail, "C'mon, tell me." He grins, while his hands don't stop tickling you.
"Stop—I'm not telling—!"
When he had you pinned down, you kicked around to get him off you. Which, unfortunately, ends up knocking the empty glass on the table. You both watch in horror as the glass falls off the surface, and into the floor.
But it doesn't shatter. Instead, it bounces twice, before it rolls in a half circle. When it stops moving, it takes about five seconds before the two of you burst into laughter.
"That's the second time you almost broke it."
"Sorry." You muttered through your giggle, "But whose fault was it?"
"Me." He grinned, before slowly bent down to kiss you.
Just like the other kisses you've shared, it goes on for more than a minute. He gently guides you as he cups your cheeks. Your arms find their way around his neck, and keep him close to you.
He leans his forehead against yours, as he catches his breath. You observed the way his chest rises and falls while you follow the same rhythm. Maybe you soften at the sight of him, or maybe a kiss'd really loosen up someone's tongue, that's why the words fall out of your mouth so easily.
"I like your kisses."
He raises his head as he turns his gaze on you. "Was that the thing you're embarrassed to admit?"
You give his shoulder a punch.
"Hey." He retorted with a chuckle, "'M just kidding."
He presses his lips on your cheek, before he lays down on your side. You shift your body to give him space, and settle your head on his arm, while the other one is wrapped around you.
"Comfy?"
You nod, "You're warm."
"Glad to be your heater."
You bury your face into his chest as you giggle.
"I just wish you're portable," You jest, "So I could use you whenever I'm cold."
"Who says I'm not portable?"
"Well, you can't be with me 24/7."
"Careful what you wish for." He smirked.
You raise your brow at him, "Is that a warning?"
"Maybe."
"Mmm," You rested your finger on your chin, "Didn't sound like one."
"Really?" He teases, "Then you won't mind if I keep you here for the night."
"I'm busy tomorrow, so no." You hold your chuckle when you see him pout, "But I'm free next weekend, you can keep me until Monday if you want."
A glint of mischief crosses his eyes, as he pulls you into a kiss.
"I can't wait."
But waiting doesn't feel longer than you expect, since you meet him for dinner almost everyday. If one of you couldn't make it, you both would be on the call that night.
Talking has been a part of your relationship, even when the two of you still carried the friends title. You could talk with him for hours, and bring up every topic into it. Doesn't matter how random or strange. But there was a line that you both couldn't cross, something that kept the two of you in circles. And you thought it'd stay that way, until you stepped into the other side.
It's a wonder how a familial issue could push your relationship to this point, since you wouldn't think twice about him for the sake of friendship. Now that you've crossed the line, you have nothing to hide from him.
While it might be a good thing, it also leads you to unknown territories. When you're with him, you can no longer ignore the tension that fills the room. Any time that he kissed you, or held you tight in his arms, you couldn't help but think if this would be it. This would be the right time for it. But you couldn't bring yourself to ask.
Maybe that's the reason why—after the 2:01:31 mark on the call, you bring up the obvious question to light.
"Y'know Ky," You start, "I don't have much experience with sex, and neither do you. So how exactly are we gonna do it?"
The line goes silent for a moment, before you hear him draw a breath in. "Are you afraid it'll hurt?"
"No—I mean, yes. But that's not my point." You sigh, "I just—I don't know, I feel like I need to learn about it before getting to the act."
There's a subtle hint of a rustle that you could only guess coming from the papers, "It'll definitely help if we do some research beforehand."
"But where do we start?" You asked, "Porn?"
"I wouldn't recommend that. It's… unrealistic."
"What then? 'A guide to sex' book? 'Sex for dummies'?"
You catch the sound of his chuckle from the speaker. "Only grandmas would read that."
"I would read that if it helps me prepare."
He hums, and your ear picks up the sound of clink, like a metal is placed against a wood. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"How far have you gone with your partner in the past?"
You hum as you think back, "I think I stopped at heavy petting. I was in high school back then and I was curious. But it hurted, and I was bleeding after the session." You snort when you recall the moment, "Of course I freaked out, but when I secretly tested myself out, I found that I'm still a virgin. I could only guess that he tore something with his nail. That's why I bled."
"I see."
"What about you?" You asked, "How far have you gotten with it?"
"Same as you." He responded, "Fingering, oral, hand job, all the foreplay stuff."
You bite your lip as you hear his tone becomes heavier with each word, something that you notice whenever you dive into a risky topic.
"Should we give it a try?"
There's a pause from the other side of the call, before you receive a reply. "You sure you want it?"
"Yes." You breathe out, "We gotta start somewhere."
Your fingers toy with the hem of your shirt, as you wait for him to answer.
"Alright." He mused, and you felt the warmth creeping up from your lower belly. "Is the plan still on?"
"What plan?"
"You staying over for the weekend?"
You smile against the phone as you reply, "Of course."
"I'll be waiting then."
Friday evening, you arrive at his door with a bag of clothes and other necessities. When the bell rings, it takes about three seconds before the door swings open.
He greets you in the usual manner, except this time he speaks in a softer tone.
"Hey." He smiles upon seeing you, "Come in."
He steps aside when you walk in, before he takes the bag from your hand. You mutter a small 'thank you', and wait for him in the living room while he puts your things aside.
"You want something to drink?" He offered, but you shook your head.
"I'm fine."
You watch him come near you, before he bends down to his knees. You raise your brows when he tugs your hand towards him, and presses a kiss onto your palm.
"Can we talk?"
"About what?" You asked.
"Your boundaries." He squeezed your hand gently, "What's your preferences, what you're not comfortable with,"
"Oh." You look down to your lap to hide your blush, "I don't have any preference yet, I think." You shrug, "I have to experience it to know what I like or dislike, but I think I'm fine with everything you do. Just… don't treat me rough, because I don't think I can handle it."
"Wouldn't dream of hurting you." He pecks on your cheek. "Come,"
You stand from your seat as he pulls you up, and your body follows him naturally as he drags you with him. As he closes the bedroom door behind, your heart leaps when he lifts you up with his arms to kiss you. Your legs wrap around his waist, while you keep your hands on his chest.
When he lays you down on the bed, you push his body away for a little as you mumble, "My, aren't you eager."
He observes your face before he chuckles, "You don't know how long I've waited for this."
You moan when he presses his kiss on your neck, and you feel his hand slip under your garment. Soon, the elastic band of your underwear is dragged down on your skin, and you instinctively close your thighs together.
"Let me taste you, (Name)."
He tugs your pants down until they reach your ankles, he takes his time to unhook them from your feet, before pushing your legs apart. You call his name as a protest, but any attempt to cover yourself from him is useless.
"Ky—" You stare at him wide-eyed as he lowers his head to your core, to the point that you can feel his breath against your labia. Your body tenses up when he gets the first taste of you, before he buries his tongue into your core.
"Tell me if I hurt you." He told you, and waited until you nodded to continue.
You gasp when he presses his tongue against your clit—not out of pleasure, but foreign feeling as the rough texture of his tongue latches on your nub. Your hand shoots up to grab his hair, while your legs clamp on his head. He grunts when you squirm away, and links his arms around your thighs to keep you still.
At first, you only feel a strange sensation every time his tongue swipes against your bundle of nerves, but soon it builds up into a familiar surge. Warmth begins to spread from your lower region, and you muffle a moan when he flicks his tongue on your sensitive clit.
"Ky—!" You hissed when it hit the right spot, "Keep going—"
Your hips bucks involuntarily as he sucks on the swelling bud, it sends an electricity through your body, before his lips detach from you. You whine at the loss of contact, but it doesn't take a second before his elastic muscle returns to its previous place.
The grip on his hair tightens as he picks up the pace, and soon the pleasure starts to coil inside your stomach. Your brows are knitted as you focus on his tongue, chasing after the high that's been hanging in front of you. It's not until you tilt your hips, that you finally reach it.
You cry out as your back arches, your eyes snap open as the wave of pleasure hits you. It was different, more satisfying than what you did on lonely nights. As you slowly come down, your body relaxes under his touch.
When he reaches up to kiss you, you chuckle as you taste yourself from his lips. "And you told me you're a virgin." You mused.
"I don't need to lose it to be good at oral."
You roll your eyes and hold him off by his chest, "Yeah right."
He seems taken aback when you push him to the side, before straddling him between your legs. Your hands work on his pants, as you loosen up the drawstring. "What are you doing?" He muttered out.
"Returning the favor." You replied with a smirk, while you tugged down his pants.
You've seen the outline of his member when he's still dressed, but now that you strip him off, you finally get the full view of it.
You sense his gaze on you as you stare at his cock. Your hand reaches out to touch the tip, and it twitches under your fingertips.
"Are you just gonna stare?"
"Patience." You shot him a teasing look, "I was just admiring."
He props himself up to watch you bend down, taking his length into your mouth. You look at him through your lashes, as you slowly drag your tongue along the shaft. Your fingers wrap around his base, and begin to give it a pump.
His breath becomes shallower with each stroke of your hand, while you wrap your lips around his cock. The tip feels hot on your tongue, as if it's filled with impatience. He groans as you sink your mouth deeper, "Keep going, baby."
You perk up at the nickname he used, but it needs to wait before you can bring it up to him, since your mouth is occupied at the moment.
He places a hand on your head, and runs his fingers through your hair before they settle on your crown. You grunt when he begins to rock his hips gently, while his hand gives you no room to pull back. He's careful enough not to push too deep, but he still overwhelms you.
"That's it—" He panted, brows knitted together as he focused on you. "Fuck—"
His heavy breath, his gentle grip on your hair send warmth through your body. It's not the first time you've done this, but it's the only time you felt desired. He's eager, but he's careful at the same time. He doesn't rush things, he fixates on the moment instead. When you place your hand on his thigh, he slows down as he loosens up his grip on you.
"You alright?"
You nod before you pull away from him.
"I want to ride you."
His brows are raised as you climb on top of him, slowly lowering yourself onto his lap. He takes a sharp breath when your core touches the base of his member, leaving a wet trail as you grind on him. You hear a quiet groan from his sighs, and it becomes heavier each time you pick up the pace.
You bite your lip as you feel your core throb at the sight beneath you. The way his head digs into the pillow, half-lidded eyes and panting, and the way his muscles tense as he chases after pleasure. His hands settle on your waists, keeping you from moving too far from the right spot. Your breath comes out as a huff when the friction starts to get to you. It almost feels real, as if he's really inside you.
"I'm close." He chokes out a moan, and you feel his fingers dig into your skin. "(Name)—"
Your lips curl into a grin when you hear the urgency in his voice. You lean down to kiss him, and he eagerly returns the favor. You grunt against his mouth, as you struggle to move with his arms wrapped tightly around you. But he doesn't seem to mind the erratic pace, since his hips move on its own.
His body shudders and he throws his head back as he groans, loud enough that you can feel his chest rumble through your palms. His member twitches against your core, spilling the white release onto both of your and his clothes. It takes a moment for him before he registers your lips on his neck, which he tilts his head and leans his cheek against yours.
"That was…"
"Good?" You grinned as you gave him a kiss.
"Great. Amazing. Ten out of ten." He chuckles, "Are you sure you're a virgin?"
You playfully pinch his cheek while you laugh, "Shut up."
He shoots you a coy smile, before he gently rolls you down with him on the bed.
"We should take a bath."
"Later." He muttered, wrapping one arm around you.
"Come on." You protested while tugging his hand off you, "We can cuddle after that."
"Fine," He lets you go, "Let's take a shower."
And he said it in a not-so-innocent voice.
The two of you end up prolonging the bath time, as he's taking you for a second round. If he's eager the first time, the second time must be worse. Since he's got the taste of it. You knew that he's exceptional, that he's a quick-learner, but you didn't expect it'd apply to sex as well.
The thing is, you never came with fingers alone. But when he cornered you in the shower, knuckles-deep in your core, he had you screaming as the sweet shock from the orgasm went through your body. He doesn't give you much of a break, as he bends you down until your ass touches his hip. You gasp in horror when you feel the tip of his dick against your drenched hole, he teasingly rubs himself on your labia, before it slips down to your clit.
He had your thighs pressed together, which made the friction even stiffer. You groan as he begins to thrust, hitting your throbbing bud everytime without mercy. He pins both of your wrists against the wall with one hand, while he keeps your body still with the other. It's almost unfair how strong he is to hold you down like this, and how cruel he is to tease you as he whispers dirty words into your ear. By the time you come, you have no energy left, even for standing.
He catches you right before your legs give up, holding you up while he sneaks a hand under the back of your thighs. You yelp when he props you up in his arms, carrying you out of the bathroom.
You land on the bed with a bounce, and receive no privilege to get up as he holds your legs together, before placing them against his shoulder. The color in your face is drained the moment his length rests on your thigh, fervent and heavy.
"I hope you're not tired yet," He grins, and you swear you see horns growing from his head the moment he says it, "Because I'm nowhere done with you."
Kyle Fucking Garrick.
You take back what you said about his middle name. It's not kind or thoughtful, it's fucking Prick.
It should've been obvious to you, after all the gossip you heard from your friends about him. Something that you thought as a baseless fact, a Lavater-physiognomy type of bullshit, but somehow they got it right. He's not as innocent as you defended him to be. He is freaky, and he's good at keeping it a secret.
After he exhausted you the night before, he decided that the best way to wake you up was with his mouth. Your clit was already swollen from yesterday's activity, and he abused it again in the morning. You stirred in your sleep, before your eyes snapped open at the sharp tug on your sensitive bud.
"G'mornin'." He greeted you the moment you woke up, still disoriented. "How's your sleep?"
You narrowed your eyes, as you tried to turn your vision focused. "Wha—" You slurred.
"Shh." He pushed you down to the bed, while his hand worked its way to your fold. "Let me take care of you, baby."
And thus you started your day with an orgasm.
Of course it's only the beginning, since it's him that you're talking about. He could make you faint in the bathroom if you didn't lock the door behind, and he could certainly numb your mind with his fingers if you didn't cut two apples for breakfast. But once you ran out of excuses, you're pretty much doomed.
While you knew he'd stop right away if you told him so, you couldn't bring yourself to say it. Because once he puts his hand on you, you just melt. The irritation that you carry in mind dissolves the moment he wraps you in his arms, and every curse you hold on your tongue comes out as a whimper, as his mouth latches onto your nape.
It's a game of self-will, and he plays it underhandedly. You both know what you want, but no one speaks of it, no one takes the initiative. You grit your teeth as frustration begins to take over you. It's pretty clear he wants you to say it, with the excuse that it's yours to decide. But he lures you with sweet words, and waves your much-needed release in front of you. Close enough for you to see, but far away from your reach.
And finally, after three neglected orgasms, you swallow your ego and beg. "Please Ky—" You cried out, "Please, just fuck me—"
His hand ceases to move, as he pulls it out of your sopping core. You whine at the loss of contact, before he muffles it with his kiss.
The trip to his bedroom is quite messy, with a lot of thrown clothes and sloppy kisses. When you find yourself on his bed again, you crawl up to give him some space. He follows after you, and presses his lips against yours with impatience. Faintly, you hear the sound of a wrapper being ripped, before he pulls away to roll down the rubber on his length.
He comes back to your side, locking his lips with yours again, while he slots his hips between your legs. Your hands find the purchase on his back as you cling to him, digging your fingers into his skin the moment you feel his tip against your hole.
A gasp escapes your lips when he pushes himself in, stretching your pussy open with his dick.
"Shit, you're too tight." He hissed, as your walls tightened around his glans.
Your face contorts in pain, as he tries to squeeze himself deeper.
"No good." He mused, pulling himself out of you. You whimper as your hole clenches around nothing. "On your side, baby."
He gently rolls you to the side, sliding his arm below your head as he lays behind you. He places a hand under your cheek, and guides your lips back to his. You wince when you feel the nudge against your core, before it slowly sinks deeper into you.
It doesn't hurt much, compared to what you endured earlier. But it still stings, and you smack your palm against his hip when he begins to thrust. "Ky—" You moaned against his lips, gripping onto his skin as you felt yourself stuffed to the brim.
"Just a little more, baby." He places a kiss on your shoulder, while his hands find their way to wrap around your body. "Just a little more."
No words could form in your tongue, as your mouth snaps open at the steady thrust of his cock. It was slow, torturous, and left you wondering if you've underestimated his size.
But it soon comes to a stop, as his lower stomach touches the curve of your bottom. Your heart is beating against your chest, and you try to catch your breath while he showers you with kisses. The push of his hips comes to a halt, and you take it as a chance to rest. You lean your head back to his shoulder, giving him access to your neck, which he soon decorates with love marks.
"You alright?" He murmured, tenderly stroked your arm.
You hum as an answer. "You can move now."
"You sure?"
"Yes." You breathe out, "Please."
You sense a hesitation in his touch, before he presses a kiss on your temple.
"Tell me if it hurts."
You nod, giving his forearm a squeeze as a reassurance.
He shifts your body closer to him, readjusting the position to make it more comfortable. You raise your head a bit while he moves, before he guides you back to his arm. A grunt escapes your lips the moment he drags his member out, before he thrusts it back in. Your core flutters around him, as the numbness slowly fades into pleasure.
Perhaps your body is still sensitive from all the teasing he did, but you can't deny that he's good. Every stroke of his cock just hits right, as it grazes you in the place where his fingers couldn't reach. You grip his arm when you feel his pace quickens, filling the room with the wet slaps of the skins. And when his tip nudges the tender part of you, your body reacts in a way you don't expect.
He seems to notice it, as he lifts his head up to see your face. "Does that feel good?" He whispered in your ear, and you yelped when he snapped his hips against yours.
"Oh God—" You scrabble at his body, trying to find something to grab on. "Do that again."
"Gladly."
A warning comes up to your throat, before it dies down as soon as he moves. You squirm against his strong grip, digging your nails into his thigh like a claw machine. When his cock grazes the right spot within you, you cry out a strangled moan. And the second time he does it, the suspicions you had in mind are all erased. He's no longer teasing you, because now he really intends to make you scream.
When he rolls on top of you, you feel your legs being spread apart with his knees. Stretching your pussy open for him to go deeper. With him on top of you, and your stomach flat on the bed, you have no room to crawl away.
His hand snakes around your shoulder, propping you up into a half-arched position. A whimper comes out of your mouth the moment he slams himself into you, while his lips are busy with your neck. Niping and sucking on your reddening skin. Your hand reaches up to the back of his head, gripping the curls of his hair as you moan.
"I'm close." You hissed, "Kyle—"
"I know, baby." He presses a kiss on your nape, "I know."
He raises your hips slightly, before slipping his hand between your thighs. Your body jerks when he touches your clit, rubbing it in a circle motion. The fact that it's already swollen doesn't help you either.
"Ky!" You claw his hand in panic, "I can't—I can't—"
"You can." He grunted against your ear, "Let it go, baby."
Your grip on his wrist tightens, as every muscle in your body tenses up. You could barely hold it when he fucked you slow, and now with his finger on your clit, you just break.
A loud cry fills the room as you come. Hard. Your eyes roll up, hands gripping tightly on the sheet until your fists turn pale. And for a moment, you forgot how to breathe, until you gasped for air. Which comes in the form of short and trembling puffs. The moment of bliss and numbness only descends for short seconds, before you realize he's still inside you.
The burning sensation in your core comes back to you, although weaker than before. You whimper against the sheet, as he prolongs the high you just reached. His fingers no longer slotted between your folds, as they move to grip your waist. In daze, you begin to wonder when it'll end. Until you feel a shudder from the body on top of you, and a strangled moan falls from his mouth.
He rests his head on you, catching a breath, before he slowly rolls down to the side. You watch him as he wearily pulls off the condom, and throws it aside.
The two of you lay down still, mustering the energy that's left after the laborious session. Although you doubt if it's the same case for him, since he has no trouble getting up to fetch the tissue box.
As he wipes himself off, you mutter out with a low voice, "You've ruined me for other men."
He turns his head to you, before a grin spreads on his face. "Already thought about leaving?"
You know from his tone that he's not serious, but neither of you can carry the usual banter. At least not now.
"You know what I mean." You mused.
His face softens, as he bends down to kiss you. "I know."
You smile against his lips, and carefully shift your body until you lay on your back. He climbs on top of you, planting each arm on your side as he latches his lips on yours. You reach up to cup his face, pulling him closer as you part your lips, giving his tongue the access to dive into your mouth deeper. The two of you relish in each other's taste, before you feel something on your thigh.
"You're hard." You let slip what you saw, and he flushed.
"Sorry." He rubbed his neck, "You just… turn me on."
You observe his face for a moment, noting how he avoids your eyes whenever he's shy. His expression, and his candid confession set something in you, as you feel the warmth in your lower belly.
"I think we can go one more time."
"Aren't you tired?"
"A little." You replied, "But it's nothing I can't handle."
His eyes search into yours for a second, before he gives in.
"Alright." He uttered, "Let me grab the condom."
Now that you've gotten the taste of it, you can understand why sex is often called forbidden apple. Because once you put your teeth to it, you can't go back to what you're used to. No more friendly cuddles, and no more innocent kisses that won't lead to something.
While it's easy to get swept up in the new pastime, you can't help but worry. As a lot of 'what if's fill your thoughts. You never doubt him, no. But you'll never know what the future's like. For you and him.
One day, when the two of you lounge on the couch—with your head on his chest, as it rises and falls in a slowing rhythm, you divulge a question that's been eating you up.
"What if it doesn't work?" You brood, "What if he still wants to marry me despite of everything?"
You watch the subtle change in his face as he meets your gaze. "Do you want me to come along?"
"No," You muse, "It'll make things worse."
He hums, "Have you talked to your parents?"
"... No." You looked away, as you chewed on your lip. "No, I haven't."
"I think you should." He gives your arm a squeeze, "Talk to them, maybe they'll help you."
"They didn't help me at all." You said bitterly.
"You wouldn't know that, (Name)." He let out a quiet sigh, "Parents don't usually tell what they've done for their children. And that could be the case with yours."
"They didn't stop the engagement."
"Maybe they couldn't." He replied, "Hey, look at me." He gently pulls you to face him, "I know it's hard for you, and I can't imagine how you feel about it. But your parents love you, you said it yourself." He reassured you, "Maybe they didn't stop it because they're powerless, but they knew that you'd find a way out. After all, they're the one who told you about the ceremony, right?"
While you're still frowning at him, you begin to soften up in his hold. "... Yeah, they did." You muttered.
"They knew that you're against it and you'd deliberately failed one of the tests, so they just told you what to do and what you shouldn't. It's their way to tell you which one to break, and which one you should keep in mind." He sighs, "And I hate to say it, but I'd do the same if it's the only choice I have."
Though his words have put you at ease, you can't help but sense a new doubt entering your mind. "Will they… will they be okay if I fail the test? Won't it give them a bad name?"
"I think it's the risk they're willing to take." He smiled softly, "Talk to them, (Name). You need it."
You follow his advice two days later.
You've been mulling over the talk for days, going through all of the possibilities over and over again in your mind. You've prepared for a whole speech, but it all disappears once you hear their voices. Just like that, all of your thought falls from your mouth, as they flow out like a stream.
There's a lot of talking, a lot of 'sorry's, and maybe a few of tears. But in the end, you feel better.
As the conversation slips into a mundane, but comfortable chat, you slip his name between your life update. Though you have your doubts about it, it's worth telling in spite of all.
"You should introduce him to us." Your mother chirped, "Bring him with you the next holiday, I want to meet the lucky fellow."
You chuckle as you tell her alright, but no promise.
Four days later, on the evening at the airport, you reach up to kiss him before you say the words. You almost laugh at how easy it was, to say such words with such ease. And he'd laugh with you, if he wasn't struck by it.
"I thought you're afraid to use that word."
"Not anymore." You said with a smile, "Not with you."
He seems confounded for a moment, before he shakes his head, grinning from ear to ear.
"I hope you won't regret it, because I'll say that to you everyday from now on."
"Well, why don't you start now?"
You both chuckle, before he wraps his hands around you and pulls you into another kiss.
"I love you, (Name).
"Come home to me soon."
232 notes · View notes
peterm4rker · 1 month ago
Text
(𐙚⋆.˚) can't help falling !!
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🕸🕷✮⋆ [jaehee x reader] ...୨♡୧... wc. 3.7k w. cursing, kissing, lmk if you find any! fluff ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ
jaehee fought the urge to roll his eyes.
he was convinced that the boy in front of him had been talking about the same thing for the past twenty minutes. your new situationship, or ayden like you had called him, was plain annoying in your best friend’s eyes. he was way too happy, too chipper and talkative for his liking.
he didn’t like the way his bright pink hair shone in the sunlight, or the way his smile seemed to make your entire face light up with endearment. there was something that didn’t sit right with him about how you looked at him; something that made his stomach churn.
“at least try to hide your disgust,” jaehee’s best friend, riku commented quietly next to his ear as he leaned in to grab some food from the other side of the table.
“i have no clue what you’re talking about,” jaehee said back, getting the plate he was reaching for and placing it in front of him so he would get out of his way, his eyes still trained on your face as you chuckled at something ayden said. 
“sure you don't,” riku scoffed, thanking him softly for the plate before serving himself the food he wanted. 
jaehee stood in silence, his eyes moving from you to the boy at your side. his stare was so focused on noticing everything that was wrong with him that he didn’t notice your own eyes traveling to his face, looking at him for a few seconds before picking up your phone.
his attention was forced away by the pang of his phone. his eyebrows furrowed as the tone rang, his eyes travelling to yours when the sound was the one put specifically for you. you gave him an urgent look, signalling him to look at his phone, which he did begrudgingly.
yn my absolute favorite person in the whole wide world even more than riku who definitely didn’t name herself
what’s up with the frown? you’re going to scare him away.
he resisted the urge to roll his eyes for what felt like the thousandth time that night before typing away his answer.
he’s fine, i don’t think he’s paying attention to anything but his little story.
he watched your eyebrows crease as you read the text before furiously typing and setting your phone down on the table, face down.
please don’t be like that, everyone else likes him and you know how important it is for me that you do too.
the brown eyed boy felt a pang of guilt on his chest at your upset expression. he didn’t think he was being rude, he hadn’t said anything to ayden even when he had many things to say. he didn’t let out the scoffs or sighs he wanted to, so he didn’t fully understand what the fuss was all about. 
still, he could never stand to make you upset even in the slightest, so he moved his leg in search of yours under the table, finding it quickly and nudging you softly. you looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and he gave you a small smile, one of the ones that screamed apologies.
he watched you nervously in silence for a couple of seconds as you looked at him with a serious expression, holding it for as long as you could before your mouth betrayed you as it formed a small smile. you nudged him back and grabbed your phone, typing with a smile before setting it back down.
it’s okay, i’m not mad anymore.
also pass the meat before riku eats it all.
jaehee couldn’t avoid the smile that set on his lips as he read your texts. he grabbed the plate so he could hand it to you, but he was only met with the sight of you talking to ayden quietly, your attention far from him. he set the plate on the table and slumped back on his chair, his eyes looking back in the perfect moment to watch the pink haired boy steal a quick peck from your lips.
jaehee’s stomach churned with realization as he moved his attention down to the food on his plate.
the things he would do to be the one kissing you like that.
jaehee knew he was right.
he knew that ayden kid would end up being an asshole; that he would hurt you some way or the other.
he wanted to scream it, to tell you repeatedly that he had tried to warn you. but he didn’t, he couldn’t even dare to think about it as he heard your soft voice on the other side of the phone.
“i'm sorry to bother you, but i’ve been waiting for an hour and a half and i just don’t think he’s going to show up,” you said, voice small and defeated.
jaehee felt his heart being squeezed by how hurt you sounded. he felt so many things right then; the urge to find ayden and do absolutely unspeakable things to him for not realizing the absolute gem of a person he had by his side, the frustration of knowing he could treat you so much better. but most importantly, the need to cradle you in his arms and tell you everything would be okay, that ayden didn’t deserve you; that no one did for that matter.
“where are you right now?” he asked, his voice as soft as it could be.
“at sunrise café but i’m gonna leave soon, i look like a fucking idiot” you chuckled dryly.
“don’t say that, i’m sure you look as pretty as you always do,” he reassured, already up and looking for his car keys almost frantically. “stay there for me, okay? just wait a bit more.”
he waited for your confirmation before hanging up the phone and going back to his room, grabbing a new clean shirt and making sure his hair looked good. he buttoned the shirt as he closed everything up, hopping into his car and almost speeding in the direction of your favorite café. he made it there about twenty minutes later thanks to the detour at the flower shop, looking for you through the glass window and smiling softly when he found you. you looked as pretty as you always did, and his heart was about to beat out of his chest.
he rushed to go into the cozy place, going to your table and standing next to you.
“i’m so incredibly sorry i’m late,” he said, a little too loudly for it to be only meant for you. “there was a huge traffic jam, but i got your favourite flowers.”
you looked up at him with a surprised expression, admiring how handsome he looked just then. his hair was styled beautifully even when a little messy from the wind; his white button up hugged his torso perfectly and made him look a little too elegant for the casual little café.
“thank you,” you smiled, standing up and grabbing the flowers from his hands before hugging him tight. “really, thank you so much.”
the boy hugged you back even tighter, enjoying the feeling of having you like that. “there’s nothing to be thankful about,” he reassured, kissing the top of your head before parting away. “now, i’m sure you’re starving so let’s eat.”
you smiled fondly at him as you sat down again, not even needing to look at the menu to know what you wanted. 
 the hours passed like they always did when you and jaehee were together, fast and full of laughter. you could see how he was doing his best to make you laugh and entertain you as much as he could so you wouldn’t think of the reason why he was there in the first place.
“you didn’t have to do all of that, you know.” you commented, as you watched him pay for both of your meals after a long discussion of not letting you pay for half of it. 
“i know, i never have to do anything,” he replied as he bowed in thanks to the cashier that handed him his card back. “i do it because i want to and because you mean a lot to me.” 
you tried to ignore the flutter on your chest when he smiled at you, beginning to walk out of the café and holding the door for you to do the same.
“still, it’s not your responsibility to take care of me when i get stood up by assholes you didn’t even like in the first place.” you shrugged, waiting for him to get to your side again.
“i don’t care about the circumstance, i just want you to be okay.” he smiled, going back to your side and placing his arm around your shoulders. “wanna take a walk before i take you back home?”
you couldn’t help the huge smile that took over your lips while you nodded, wrapping your arm around his waist and letting him guide you to the ice cream shop you had gone to so many times. 
you and jaehee talked about everything and anything as you walked together, getting ice cream and sitting on a park bench for a while until you deemed it was time to go back home. he offered to drive you home as he always did and you started your walk back to the car, only stopping when you were faced by a big crowd of people waiting to cross the street you needed to cross to get to your destination.
“his head was too big as well, sakuya agrees” the boy commented casually, continuing to list all the things he didn’t like about ayden.
“it was not that big,” you rolled your eyes in amusement.
“he looked like a bobblehead, yn” he said, earning a big laugh from you just as the light turned green to let you cross. jaehee’s hand instinctively moved to interlace your fingers with his, pulling you along as he crossed. he didn’t want to lose you in the crowd in the middle of a very busy street, of course, it’s not like he just wanted to hold your hand or anything of the sorts.
“maybe you have a point,” you chuckled once you safely got to the other side of the street. you waited for the boy to let go of your hand, but he never did. he just continued his rant, swinging your hands between your bodies as he walked towards his car. you had held his hand before, but it had never felt that romantic to do so.
jaehee only let go because he had to drive, cranking up the music to its fullest while he drove you home.
“thank you, dae, for everything.” you thanked as you stood in front of your house. 
his heart soared as he heard the name fall off your lips. he was so used to people calling him jaehee that it sometimes surprised him when someone didn’t. he didn’t mind if it was you, though.
“anytime, you know that.” he smiled, as softly as you had ever seen him smile.
“good night,” you smiled, tiptoeing to leave a kiss on his cheek before turning around and getting inside your house.
he thought about how he should’ve kissed you the entire drive home.
jaehee groaned as he placed his head down at the table.
he could feel the migraine brewing in his head as he closed his eyes, trying to get rid of the awful itch that had been haunting them for hours now. the boy sat in the college library as he had done so often lately, trying to study as much as he could for the finals he had ahead of him. who could’ve said that studying music was that hard? he really just wanted to continue playing piano and got stuck with music appreciation finals that made no sense whatsoever.
he had been stuck in the library for what felt like days, made even longer by the fact that he hadn’t seen you in seemingly forever. he pictured you as he closed his eyes, thinking about what you would be doing then. you were probably studying at home with your headphones blasting the most obnoxiously loud music you were able to find like you always did when you needed to focus. jaehee smiled at the thought, enjoying the image for a few seconds before being interrupted by a voice he knew a little too well.
“i thought you were studying, not sleeping.” you teased as you approached the table. 
the boy raised his head, a small dumbfounded smile taking place on his lips as he watched you.
“i’m just taking a second, geez.” he said, humor in his voice. 
you chuckled and patted his hand softly, ruffling his hair before placing a cup in front of him.
“i brought you coffee from sunrise,” you smiled, taking a seat on the chair next to him. he almost pouted at how cute he had found you just then and how much he appreciated your small acts of kindness. “i was going to walk all the way here but i ran into sion at the coffee shop so he drove me.” you continued to rant before he could thank you for the coffee.
“you were going to walk all the way here?” he asked as he tilted his head in curiosity, his eyes basically flooding with affection.
“well, i needed a break and i felt like i haven’t seen you in forever so i was having dae withdrawals” you sighed dramatically, resting your chin on your hands as you looked at him.
“well, i’m glad you’re here, i missed you too,” he smiled, almost cooing at you. “and thank you for the coffee.”
“of course, baby,  don’t worry about it,” you said, and everything around jaehee froze. “anyways, i forgot to tell you. i ran into ayden at the convenience store…” 
the boy stared at you incredulously, looking hard for any type of reaction to the words that had just fallen out of your lips. you had always been affectionate with each other, but nicknames like “baby” were completely uncharted territory in your friendship. when he noticed no type of acknowledgement to your words, his heart soared higher than it ever had. you had called him that unconsciously, naturally. he felt like he could just jump in joy, scream at the top of his lungs about how much he yearned for you to call him that every single day. but he settled into looking at you with lovesick eyes, trying to remember how you had gotten to the point in the story you were telling.
hours later, jaehee drove you home as he always did. he couldn’t get that moment out of his head, how the nickname had sounded so beautiful and natural coming from you. the thought got to the point of slightly stressing him out. should he call you a pet name too? would that make you uncomfortable or flustered? he didn’t know, and if he kept thinking about it instead of paying attention to the road, you would both end up in the hospital.
“well, thank you for driving me again,” you smiled as you both got out of the car, meeting in front of your door like you always did.
“always,” he smiled, admiring how beautiful you looked under the warm light of your porch.
“i should head inside, i still have to study,” you commented, giving him that breathtaking smile of yours.
“goodnight, pretty” he said, voice almost a whisper as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.
“night night, baby” you smiled, kissing his cheek quickly before disappearing into your house. jaehee’s heart skipped an alarming amount of beats when you spoke, replaying the moment in his head over and over.
damn it, he should’ve kissed you. 
jaehee had never been so happy.
everything around him seemed right. all his friends were stacked in his living room, doing many types of stupid things and laughing loudly. you were there too, of course, currently sitting on the couch with sakuya resting on the floor between your legs as you put a ridiculous amount of braids in his hair. your eyes were trained on sion, who was recalling the story of how awkward his first meeting with his new friend, jisung had been.
you seemed happy, everything around you was glowing with a light that could only ever come from you. that’s the way he would describe you; bright, like the sun and the stars and anything that could somehow guide him home. 
his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he heard riku call you in the other room. you stood up and left without even finishing your job on sakuya’s hair, leaving a whiny kid on the floor. it didn’t take long for sion to take your place and the younger kid’s whines only got louder, distracting jaehee from whatever you and his best friend were up to in the kitchen.
his attention was pulled back from the amusing situation that was unravelling in front of him when the lights turned off and the music stopped playing. he looked around in confusion until his eyes met yours. you walked out of the kitchen, holding a beautiful cake with nineteen candles on it while you began singing happy birthday. your eyes were solely focused on him, and he thought he could pass away right there. you looked like a dream, like everything he ever wanted.
the song ended with you standing right in front of him, a warm smile on your lips.
you watched him intently, not wanting to miss a second of how the warm light of the candles reflected on his honeyed skin. his brown eyes seemed to shine with warmth as he looked at the cake, admiring how you had very obviously decorated it yourself. 
“make a wish, dae,” you muttered.
his eyes connected with yours the moments the words fell off of your mouth, and you almost went completely breathless. his eyes didn’t separate from yours for a single second as he blew out the candles and smiled like he already had everything he needed.
everyone around you erupted in cheers when the candles were blown out, but it didn’t seem to face jaehee in the slightest. his eyes were still trained on yours as you mouthed “happy birthday”, seconds before his face was pushed straight into the cake and ryo’s evil laugh rang throughout the room.
the half eaten, half smashed cake sat on the kitchen table as you and jaehee cleaned up in complete silence, simply letting the sound of the music flood the space. the silence was a comfortable one, like everything you needed to say could be communicated with your eyes as you moved in sync around the room, filling up trash bags and washing dirty dishes.
that was until a certain song started playing and you both immediately looked for each other’s eyes. jaehee approached you slowly as the lyrics to elvis presley’s “can’t help falling in love” began playing, reaching over to you gently, cautiously. your arms took place on his shoulders as you gave him a small smile, encouraging him to dance with you.
“remember when we danced to this song at the school play?” you asked, voice tender as your hand buried in the hair at the nape of his head.
“of course i do,” he smiled, his hands placed on your hips as you swayed to the rhythm of the music. “there’s a picture of that hanging in the living room, i’m pretty sure.”
you smiled fondly, staring up at him with the most loving eyes someone could ever muster. this was it; he was it.
jaehee took your hand and made you spin, eliciting a small giggle from you before settling back to your previous position.
“dae?” you asked, a little shyly.
“what’s up, pretty?” he asked, and you felt your heart race ridiculously. 
“would it be awful if i told you how much i want to kiss you?” 
jaehee’s heart stopped completely when he heard you. was he dreaming? he surely had to be, because there was no way that you could ever feel the same way as he has for so long.
“you want to kiss me?” he asked, sounding completely breathless.
“yeah” you assured, now looking more nervous than the first time you asked.
the boy didn’t wait for a single more second before cupping your jaw and tilting your head upwards, making it easier for him to lean down and press your lips together. everything in his life seemed to click in that moment. the way your lips fit perfectly with yours, how small you felt under his hands, how you smiled into the kiss like it was everything you ever wanted. he was finally home. 
he only parted away when his lungs screamed at him for air, still holding you close like he was scared to put distance between you. you moved away just enough to look into his eyes, giving him a small smile as you caressed his hair softly. 
“hi,” you chuckled, causing him to smile softly.
“hi,” he mimicked before pulling you into another kiss, walking forward to guide you back until you were met with the table. you jumped slightly to sit on the surface, pulling at him so he would stand between your legs, continuing to kiss him deeply.
“you have no clue how badly i’ve wanted to do this,” he mumbled into the kiss, his hands squeezing your hips.
“yeah?” you asked, and he could’ve sworn his entire body lit up on fire.
“so fucking badly” he answered, making a smile form on your lips.
“good, now you can do it whenever you want.” 
all those times that jaehee had thought about kissing you didn’t even begin to compare to how perfect it felt to have your lips on his.
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★ blue's corner ;; heyyy so, my first wish post !! i love jaehee with my heart and soul and i had to do this (also warming you up to the wishies content bc the riku smau is next.) anyways, it's also the last fic of the year !! im so incredibly grateful for everyone in this app, happy new years ! ★ taglist ;; @neozon3nha @winwintea @spacejip @dudekiss3r @yizhrt @lyvhie ★ back to the masterlist. ★ please do not copy, adapt or steal any of the content !!! ★ divider by @roseraris
© peterm4rker, 2024
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dracowars · 7 months ago
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I know u hv a lot to do but could u do a draco x yn potter but lily n james r still alive??
part of the family | draco malfoy
pairing: draco x potter!reader
word count: 1,1k
summary: where draco meets y/n parents, james and lily, for the first time
a/n: my first os since forever!! this came in when my draco requests were still open and i loved the idea, i'm a sucker for draco x potter!reader. i'm truly sorry for taking ages, i hope you enjoy either way <3
warnings: none
universe: harry potter
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If anyone had told Draco in first year that he would be sitting at a dinner table with no other than Harry Potter himself, he would have laughed at them and asked what potion they took. But that was before he met you. Because Draco does still laugh now, but for a completely different reason: he is happy to be sitting here, next to you, in the home of the Potter family.
Your father is just telling one of his iconic stories from his time at Hogwarts, about how he and his best friends once roamed the huge halls of the castle, and the overall atmosphere in the room is so far away from what Draco usually associates with family dinners.
No tension, no awkward silence, no fear of saying or doing the wrong thing at any given moment. An hour ago, Draco would have believed that it couldn't be any other way. The second he crossed the threshold into your family's house, however, he was convinced of the opposite.
James and Lily are the kindest people Draco has ever met. They welcomed him with open arms straight away, even though they didn't even know him - expect from what is general knowledge in the wizarding world about him and specifically his family of course. And maybe from the stories Harry told them, when Draco and Harry were still very far from ever sitting anywhere near each other. But over time, many things have changed and you played a big role in improving their difficult relationship.
At first, you couldn't believe that the boy who usually treated your brother like shit had suddenly turned into a completely different person in your presence. But he did and it didn't take long until stronger feelings developed. Harry certainly couldn't believe it but here you are, eating your mum's homemade food, chatting and laughing away.
"Tell me, Draco. Have you mastered the Patronus Charm yet? Y/N told us that you tried it in Defence against the Dark Arts recently. Should have happened way earlier in my opinion, but oh well", James asks your boyfriend, a smile on his lips and genuine interest evident on his face. Draco's parents wouldn't even think of asking something like that.
"Not quite. I mean I managed it, but unfortunately it hasn't taken on a shape yet", Draco replies kindly, but doesn't maintain eye contact with James as he's too uncomfortable. You know that such an answer would probably be punished by his parents if he ever were to say it aloud in front of them, which is why you reach for his hand under the table. On his thigh, you intertwine his fingers with yours, the silver sigil ring cold against your skin. Looking at him from the side, you squeeze his hand and softly smile.
"Oh, don't worry about it, sweetheart! You'll get to it", your mother cheers him up, smiling between the two of you and you just know she saw your intertwined hands and loving gaze. You also know that Draco did not expect such a kind reaction and even though he visibly relaxes, he doesn't know what to answer.
The topic of the conversation changes and your dad can't help himself but to ask Draco all about his Quidditch tactics. Obviously, he can't tell him a lot about it since Harry is sitting right next to him, but seeing the three most important men in your life talk so passionately about something they love makes your heart jump. They keep on chatting over dinner and when it's time to clear the table, they don't even notice your mother and you collecting all the plates, too focused on their conversation.
You smile to yourself, following your mum into the kitchen where you put the dirty dishes into the sink and let the water run over them. Immediately, you notice her staring at you with a soft smile on her lips.
"What?", you ask, not being able to hide your own smile.
"Nothing. It's just..", she says, stopping herself as if to think how to best phrase her next words. "You two remind me a lot of your dad and I when we were younger."
"Really?"
"Yes. The banter, the loving gazes, the not keeping your hands off each other", she giggles, drying the dishes you hand her with a towel. "From what I have seen so far, I feel like you're truly meant for each other. It seems like you compensate the weakness of the other."
"Mum, stop it", you chuckle, feeling the blush creep onto your cheeks but you know that she is right. She always is. And you truly feel like you can be yourself when Draco is around so you are glad that she genuinely accepts him.
"Don't tell your brother or your dad that I said that though", she then laughs, both of you knowing that the Potter men can be really protective. The moment Draco enters the kitchen, you stifle your laughter.
"Can I help you with something, Mrs. Potter?", he asks your mum politely and the knowing smile on your mother's face is so obvious you want to sink into the ground.
"Draco, how often do I need to tell you that you can call me Lily-"
"We're almost done, but thank you so much for offering. We'll be right back", you answer and Draco nods, leaving again.
"He is so sweet! What a gentleman!", your mum almost squeaks but lowers her voice so he can't hear her anymore. All you can hear as an immediate response to your mother's comment is a snort, coming from Harry who just entered the kitchen with two glasses, putting them into the sink.
"You're just jealous because you don't have a girlfriend", you mock him while your mum tries to hide her giggle.
"You had all the guys of Hogwarts at your disposal and you seriously went for Draco Malfoy", is all Harry says before leaving again, but deep down you know that if they truly hated each other the way they always pretend they do, they would not be sitting at a table together and they would definitely not be talking about Quidditch.
"He'll come around, don't worry", your mum tells you, stroking over your shoulder as she finishes drying off the last glass. Once all the dishes are back where they belong, you go back to the dining room, happy to see that they are still chatting away.
When Draco meets your gaze, he reaches for your hand and helps you sit down on your seat again. From the corner of your eye you see your parents looking at each other, understanding the other without a word and you can't stop thinking about what your mum just told you about their own young love back then.
"I hope we will do this more often from now on", your dad says, smiling. "And I do not accept a no because you, Draco, are part of the family now."
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boredpotate · 2 months ago
Text
Happier Chapter 4
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Disclaimer: I do not own arcane or any music, just this concept idea.
Concept: Isekai Fem Reader turns back time to fix her timeline, but has unforeseen consequences.
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Vander Pov
"So when is our special guest arriving?" Powder asks as she wipes down some tables.
"Don't know. Apparently whoever ended up giving the message ended up running away before they got confirmation."
"Really? I know this person's got a rep, but I didn't know they're feared."
"Hm. Can't blame 'em. Apparently they stumbled on them in the middle of a fight or something like that. Guy was too scared to stay and just ran off." I explain with a chuckle as Powder leans on a booth table that has Mylo, Claggor and Ekko sitting there.
Got almost the whole gang here today. Vi and Cait waiting in the back, the boys decided to come today 'cause Mylo wanted to see who this guy is while Claggor and Ekko wanted to be here in case something goes wrong. Benzo was supposed to be here, but he has something he needs to do, though he might get here in time to see them, and Silco might or might not. He's been busy helping the Council with making Zaun better. Though that doesn't mean he didn't get a chance to poke fun yesterday about someone adopting my title. Even if they aren't really the same.
Other than them, the bar isn't too full today. It has it's usual groups coming in and out, and Gert is working her shift today serving tables.
"Oh come on guys! You really believe all the stuff about this guy?" Mylo asks with that smug smirk he usually always wears.
"Didn't you want to see them yesterday?" Claggor asks
"Yeah, so I can see they're fake. I'm telling you, it's just a bunch of rumors. It's probably multiple people acting as one guy" Mylo says as he leans back in the booth looking relaxed, though I can tell he's a little nervous.
'I'd be lying if I said I wasn't. I'd rather not have the bar be ruined, this place is important to us.'
"I think it might be true. Maybe they're some crazy guy who just likes to fight a lot. Kinda like Vi." Powder says with a smirk.
"I heard that!" Vi yells from the backroom, which makes the group laugh a little.
Ekko shakes his head as he jots down notes, but joins in on the conversation.
"Maybe it's both. Some true and some not. No doubt some details are exaggerated."
"They're always exaggerated. People love an unbelievable story, but that doesn't mean that they aren't true in a more realistic way." Powder says as she rolls her eyes.
"How much you wanna bet it's not true? I'll bet five silver" Mylo asks with a smirk. Which catches Powder's attention.
"Make it ten."
"Deal" Mylo says before shaking hands with Powder.
""Oh, no"" Both Claggor and Ekko say as they look at Mylo with pity. Which makes me chuckle.
'Mylo sucks at bets. Especially when he has that cocky look on his face.'
I watch over the bar until I notice Gert do a double take as she passes one of the windows near the front.
"Uh, hey boss! Your VIP is here." Gert says as she looks out one of the windows.
I see Powder quickly rush to the windows, and looking outside. I see her head turn to scan around only for a second before her eyes widen; then a smirk.
'She won.'
She whips around before quickly rushing back to the booth and taking a seat.
"So, Mylo, you want to pay me now or later?"
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Before Reader arrives at the bar
Reader Pov
I look around at my home. This new Zaun as I walk through streets both familiar, yet unrecognizable. At first I was trying my best to keep my head down and speed walk to The Last Drop, but I quickly became distracted by, well, everything. The buildings, fresher air, clear skies, light actually being able to reach down here, and the people. God the people.
'They look happy.'
My steps slowed along the way to take in everything. I saw places that I remembered as gang hideouts now being used as homes, bakeries, small food places, a library and more.
I saw areas that used to hold junkies and be filled with thugs now being used as markets and for communities to gather. I recognized people who used to be at the lowest of society now thriving and happy. Hell I even saw a school!
'A school!? A fucking place for youth to have education! In Zaun!? Can you believe that!?'
It was so much. I could barely handle looking at it all, but I had to keep moving. I didn't want to keep Vander waiting, also...... I think I'm disturbing the peace a little bit.
I'm not oblivious. I look weird. Streets full of people being happy with family; enjoying the life of new Zaun. Then some weirdo in a gas mask comes wandering through town from the deep end. I see people giving me looks and some pointing me out while in conversations with others. Enforcers that were on patrol gave me looks of suspicion. I also think I'm being followed by some, but they're not approaching, so they must just be doing their job.
Then finally I see it in the distance, "The Last Drop."
It looks so different, but not too different that it gave off a different vibe. I stood outside just staring at the building. Remembering how it was to grow up here, and how much it changed. Now it looked more welcoming, and homely. So many memories were attached to this place. Helping Vi with her boxing, listening to Mylo try to act all cool, hanging out and talking with Claggor and helping Powder and Ekko with some tinkering; even though I wasn't the best at tinkering but I could help with the more physical labor. Not mention the occasional slap to Mylo's head when calling Powder a jinx.
'It's been too long.'
I take a few seconds before letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding and walking towards the entrance.
"Time to face the music."
Once I step in, I can hear the noise inside the bar get a little quieter, except the music, as I scan the area. First person I see is Vander, then Powder, Mylo, Claggor, and Ekko. Instantly I feel a weight drop into the pit of my stomach.
'Holy shit. They grew fast. It's one thing seeing it a dream, but here and now in person is so much more different.'
The noise around me becomes distorted and I begin panicking internally. Too focusing on the people I used to know so well. They're probably totally different now.
'I need focus. Breathe. Focus on something else.' I think, before looking away at the rest of the bar and patrons. I see the jukebox now all polished looking new. Parts of the bar that used to be damaged now fixed up. New tables and chairs. Patrons talking about their day or whatever. I take a breathe to calm myself down.
'I'm regretting this already.'
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Powder Pov
"What dumpster did they crawl out of? Oof!" Mylo asks which makes Claggor elbow him in the rib.
"What are they doing?" Ekko whispers the same thing I think all of us are wondering.
This person just walked in and now is just standing at the entrance looking around.
"Getting a read on the room? They might think it's a setup by Enforcers." Claggor suggests as he keeps an eye on them.
Finally, they walk over towards the bar counter and I spot a gun sitting in a holster on one hip and...... a shovel?
"Why do they have a shovel?" I question with a confused look.
"I'm more concerned about the gun." Mylo says, as he rubs his side to soothe the pain from being elbowed, sounding slightly nervous. Which is reasonable, but seriously.
'Why a shovel?'
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3rd Person
As Y/n walks over to the counter and finally face Vander for the first time in forever as he does his usual thing. Wiping down some used glasses. Y/n looks up into his eyes, which almost breaks the front she was putting up but she keeps it together.
"I was told you wanted to see me?"
"Me?" he asks, looking slightly confused. Which makes Y/n just as confused
"That's what a guy told me. Before he ran off." Y/n explains which makes Vander chuckle before sighing. Y/n panics thinking she messed up and is ready to run before Vander speaks.
"I did send the messenger, but I'm not the one who wants to talk. There's two Enforcers here. They aren't gonna arrest you; they just wanna talk."
This get's a physical reaction out of Y/n. Making them tense, which the others notice.
"About what." Y/n asks, making Powder and the boys tense with the tone Y/n was using with Vander. Not asking, more like a command.
Vander catches it, but just smiles.
"Nothing that's gonna bring you trouble. They want your help with dealing with a gang. Same one that you've been hunting down." Vander explains which makes Y/n relax.
"Why me?" Y/n asks, which makes Vander gesture to one of the stools to sit. Y/n looks at the stool and was gonna refuse, before reconsidering after looking back at Vander. She know him. She trusts him. So she sits down; unloading more tenseness to relax in her sit.
"Want a drink?" he offers as he raises a glass, but Y/n raises her hand shakes her head in refusal.
"I'm not planning on staying long."
"That's fine," he says as he sets it back down, "They want to talk to you for the same reason why you're having a hard time tracking down that gang. They've been put on the case after the gang started to try pushing into more secure parts of Zaun. They want to work with you."
"I figured, but why would they want to work with me? I'm a merc." Y/n asks which makes Vander humph.
"Listen, I know your type. You're a merc, but let's be honest. Mercs don't get a lot of work around here nowadays, and I know you're not getting paid to do your hunting. You don't got a gang either and don't go making trouble for citizens. That means you are doing this cause you want to. You and I both know you want this gang taken out just as much as the rest of Piltover does," Vander says, before leaning on the counter in front of Y/n. Even without being able to see their face behind the mask he knows they agree, "I just gotta ask that you don't cause trouble in here alright. Cause if you do then things are gonna go bad for the both of us. Alright?"
They stare at each other for a few seconds before Y/n shifts in her seat with a groan.
"Fine, but I don't know if I can help much. If I had anything good I would have dealt with them by now, but I'll do my best." Y/n says, sounding dejected while looking down at the wooden counter, before she feels a warm hand patting her shoulder and looks up at Vander's comforting smile.
"That's all I'm askin' for." he says, unknowingly making Y/n's eyes water.
Vander pulls away before nodding at Powder. Powder gets up from her seat before going to the door leading to the back.
"They're ready for you" she quickly whispers to Vi and Caitlyn before rushing back to her seat with the boys.
As Vi and Caitlyn step out from the room Y/n's eyes widen behind her mask. She doesn't have time to fully process that they're working together again, before they make their way around to where she is sitting. Caitlyn in front with Vi behind her looking on guard.
"First of all, I'd like to thank you for meeting us here. My name is Caitlyn Kiramman and this is my partner Violet," Caitlyn says and gestures to Vi, "We weren't sure you were gonna show up, but I'm happy to be proved wrong." Caitlyn says, professionalism and etiquette lining her voice as she takes a seat next, but not too close, to Y/n. Vi remains standing behind her.
"Don't mention it. Not like I had a choice when it's The Hound asking for you." Y/n says with a hand wave before adjusting herself to now be facing the two enforcers, also slightly being able to see Powder and the boys behind Cait's shoulder.
"Still, thank you. Now you already know why you're here, but I wanted to discuss terms before moving onto anymore business."
"Terms?"
"Yes. In exchange for your help we're willing to grant a reward with a potential bonus depending how well things go, along with my mother being willing to negotiate with the council to pardon you of crimes on your record."
"Okay listen, I do-..... wait I have a record of charges?" Y/n asks in confusion since she doesn't remember doing anything bad. To her at least.
"Yes. Quite a large list. Mostly involving your past escapades with the gangs you have wiped out." Caitlyn explains, which makes Y/n even more confused.
"But they were gangs. They were causing all sorts of trouble down there. Isn't that fine?"
Before Caitlyn can respond, Vander let's out a laugh.
"It isn't fine no more. You can't just go around dealing justice without any actual authority." Vander explains to Y/n which makes her more confused before shaking her head of her thoughts.
"Whatever, you don't gotta do all that. I just want this gang dealt with. Gone." Y/n explains which makes both Vi and Caitlyn furrow their brows in confusion.
"Not even the pardon?"
"Knowing me I'd probably be tracking down some other idiot causing trouble right after this one."
Caitlyn sits in contemplation for a few seconds about that statement and relaxes more in her seat before responding.
"Well...... I must insist on you at least taking the reward. Not for yourself, but for the sake of the Enforcers' and Council's reputation. You would be doing them a favor." Caitlyn tries to persuade for the sake of not having the people doubt their leaders, also because she doesn't want to be the only one getting something out of this deal.
"Sure. Fine. Whatever. Let's get to business. Yesterday I finally got something that might be useful." Y/n says before pulling out and unfolding a hand drawn map of the deeper parts of the Undercity and sets it down between herself and Caitlyn.
Vi, Caitlyn and Vander scans over it. They see an obvious circle on what looks like a tunnel entrance at the outskirts and some buildings being marked with X's. Though you can also see past writing on the map which have been erased over the years.
*whistle* "You've been busy." Vander says as he looks over all the new and old writing on the map.
"Always on the clock. Anyways I've been tracking down these guys and already hit these places," Y/n says as she points at the buildings marked with X's, "but each one just led me to someone else. Luckily I finally got something yesterday. There's this old mining tunnel here," she points to the circled location, "and apparently got cleared out and has people going in and out of here. I got a quick look yesterday to confirm and it seems true. Saw a few people going in before leaving after a couple of hours." Y/n explains before Vi finally decides to join in the conversation and stepping closer between Caitlyn and Y/n.
"Are you sure it's safe? Who did you get the info from?" Vi asks, which makes Y/n freeze for a second at Vi's voice.
"Some guy named Simon. He was working for the gang and wanted to climb up the power ladder, so he ended up learning some things he shouldn't know."
"Where is he now?"
"I killed him." Y/n says plainly which makes Caitlyn's eyes widen and stare at Y/n in shock.
"He tried to stab me," Y/n explains with a shrug, though not helping with Caitlyn's expression, "This is the best thing I got. It's all I have, so unless you two got something better this is our best shot at either finding their boss or at least finding something useful. I'm hitting it tomorrow, so you're either in or out"
Caitlyn relaxes her expression and glances towards Vi who shrugs her shoulders, but still looks a little unsure about something.
*sigh* "Fine. I'll gather the enforcers needed today and meet you near the tunnel tomorrow, early in the morning. Around this area." Caitlyn says as she circles a spot on the map with her finger near the tunnel.
"Sounds good, but I don't recommend bringing a whole squad of enforcers down there. Might spook them and then they'll be ready; a small group that can move in without bringing too much attention to themselves."
"Agreed. I'd rather catch them off guard. I assume they might be prepared for you, but not being backed by enforcers."
"So looks like we-" before Y/n finishes speaking. Vi steps interrupts.
"Woah, not yet. We don't even know if we can trust you yet." Vi says which surprises Caitlyn, making it obvious that she didn't plan for this. Y/n tilts her head slightly.
"Wasn't it you two that wanted to talk to me?"
"Vi, it's fine." Caitlyn says, trying to defuse an oncoming problem, but Vi doesn't back down.
"Still. There's no way you expect us to just believe you. You could be setting us up for all we know."
"I could have said the same thing about this meeting, but I still showed up."
"Bullshit. I heard what you said to Vander. You didn't even know we wanted to meet you until Vander told you. How do we know you're not gonna set us up? You won't even show your face." Vi questions with a steeled tone.
Y/n knowing Vi won't trust her easily takes a few seconds to ponder what she should do next before standing up from her seat, carefully reach for her gun causing everyone who is watching by now to tense, and sets it on the bar. She reaches up and takes off her helmet before following up with her mask, placing them next to her gun and now with her face on full display makes eye contact with a surprised Vi. Not catching the change in Vander's expression as well.
"My name is Y/n; just Y/n. There, no mask. No bullshit. I just want this gang to be dealt with already. They've been a pain in my ass and I'm tired. So we got a deal?" Y/n asks as she takes of a glove and offers a handshake to Vi. Vi looks at Y/n's hand then back to her eyes before relaxing her shoulders.
"Fine. Just so you know, if you're lying and my Cupcake get's hurt, I'll kick your ass." Vi says which makes Caitlyn roll her eyes with a blush.
Vi grabs Y/n and shakes, before freezing her in place and her eye's looking distant. Her grip on Y/n's hand tightens, slightly hurting Y/n's hand, but Y/n looks more concerned than in pain.
"You okay?" she asks, but doesn't get a response. Vi's gaze still holding that distant look and her other hand comes up to her head.
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Vi Pov
What's happening? What i-
Vi!? WhErE aRe YoU gOiNg!?
'Not again. Why now?'
Vi! YoU cAn'T lEaVe HeR! DaMn iT, liStEN tO mE! pLeASe!
'Why is it so loud now? It..... It hurts'
It wasn't just the voices this time. I see- no remember? Fire and rubble. I was.... angry? sad? both. Then a little girl grabbing my hand. Trying t-
"Vi!"
My head clears and I remember where I am. I turn and see Cait's face close to mine with a concerned look and Vander with the same expression behind the bar.
"Are you alright?" I hear another voice ask and remember our guest, now known as Y/n. My hand squeezing theirs in a vice grip, so I immediately let go and take a breath that I was holding.
"Shit! I-I'm sorry. I don't know what that was. I didn't mean to do that. I'm so sor-" I struggle to ramble out a good apology, but I'm interrupted by Bloodhound raising a hand.
"It's fine, but are you okay? What happened?" She asks me, but I'm hesitate to answer. I've been wondering what the hell that voice is for years. But this time it sounded less distorted and I remembered seeing fire and felt emotions.
'What the hell is going on?'
I hear footsteps come from behind me before feeling a tap on my arm. Powder.
"Vi, what's wrong?" Powder asks me, sounding concerned.
"Nothing. Just.... bad headache. It just spiked up in pain suddenly. No big deal." I say, trying to brush it off. Though it still lingers there in my head. I then finally catch our guest's hand and see it bruised.
"I'm sorry about your hand. I really didn't mean to hurt you." I apologize again, but she just smirks.
"Like I said, it's fine. I've had worse." she says and I hear a slight chuckle from Powder.
"Of course the infamous merc "Bloodhound" would say that." Powder says with satire. I give a quick glare to Powder and expect to see the merc in question upset. Instead I see her brows furrow.
"What?" She asks, staring at both of us in confusion and giving glances to Cait and dad.
"Bloodhound. Your little title thingy that you go by?" Powder explains sounding just as confused.
The merc blinks once then twice before dropping down into her seat. Her confused expression now mixed with shock and she turns towards dad.
"People call me "Bloodhound"?" she asks him, which makes him let out a laugh.
"Wait. You didn't know that!?" Powder asks, finding it hilarious based on her tone and expression.
"How do you not know your own merc name?" I her Ekko question behind me.
As dad seems to take over the conversation. I feel Cait squeeze my shoulder and rub it.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
No. I'm not sure, but I can't tell her that.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I just need to clear my head." I say before giving her a quick kiss and heading to the backroom as I hear dad explain how he didn't choose his title either.
I catch sight of Y/n and it brings questions.
'Did she do that? Or cause it at least? Why did that happen with her? And her eyes look so familiar.'
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Reader Pov
I ended up staying here a little longer than expected. After what I can only describe as the strangest handshake I've ever had and finding out that I apparently go by "Bloodhound" to people, Vander went on to talk about how he got his own title.
Powder interrogated me. She made it seem casual, but I knew she wanted information about me. She asked all the questions and I gave most of the answers. I didn't tell them where I lived or anything too personal. Mostly just avoided or dodged the questions somehow, but I think it's time I leave now.
'I've been here too long.'
"I think it's about time I left. I got other things I need to get to," I lie as I holster my gun, fold my map, put on my helmet and grab my mask before looking back to the three, "It was nice meeting you. I'll be at the meeting point tomorrow morning Ms. Kiramman."
"Just Caitlyn is fine, and thank you again for your cooperation in this case." Cait says politely and I give her a nod before heading to the doors.
Just as I open it, about to put my gas mask back on, I am face to face with my former second father figure in this world, Silco. I freeze in place with widened eyes before finally stepping out of the way.
"Sorry. My bad" I say as I hold the door open for him.
"It's fine, thank you..... Do I know you?" he asks me which quicken my heartbeat.
"U-Uhm, I don't remember ever meeting." I say, but he stands there and stares at me for a few seconds.
"Hm. Sorry, my mistake. You just remind me of someone." he says before walking into the bar, and I quickly take the chance to put on my gas mask and get the hell out of there.
That was way too close. Hopefully I just look like someone else he's met.
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Ekko Pov
"Silco! You just missed her." Vander says as Silco goes up to the bar, while Powder makes her way back to our booth.
"So what do you think?" I ask Powder once she takes her seat.
"I think she's hiding something. Seemed tense most of the time."
"Really? She didn't seem too bad; even showed her face and gave her name. Definitely younger than I expected. Looks around our age."
"Hmm, I don't know. Though.... I feel like I should know her, like I've met her before."
"You too!? I thought the same thing after she took off her mask. She looks familiar."
'And I felt a strange feeling when she left, but there's no way I'm saying that.'
"Maybe you two have seen her before? In a crowd or something?" Claggor suggests which might be a possibility, but it doesn't feel right.
'There's something deeper about it,' I thought and by the unsure look on Powder's face, I can tell she feels the same. She shrugs her shoulders and stays silent seeming more interested at the wooden table, 'this is bothering her a lot.'
I recall Y/n's appearance from her hair, to the light scarring on her face and her tired baggy eyes. Then I hear it.
We'Re GoNnA mAkE a DiFfeReNcE tOgEtHeR,
'Why do I hear you?'
mOstLY YoU aNd PoWdEr,
'Why can't I remember?'
I'm NoT a NaTuRaL gEnIuS LiKe ThE tWo Of YoU.
'And why does your voice make me feel a certain way?'
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Hope you enjoyed. Sorry if there are grammar mistakes.
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kisses4tom · 7 months ago
Note
Sooo, since we got Uncle Billy do we now get GirlDad!Tom ?? I’ve looked high and low for a Tom X Reader family story😂😭 your writing is amazing <3
ᡣ𐭩 DADDY TOM
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YAYY FINALLY SOMEONE REQUESTED THIS!! 😭 I've been dying to write something like this since I have already made an uncle tommy hc! and thank you so much ml 💕
I think we can ALL collectively agree that Tom would be the BEST girl dad, right? 🌚 so the baby will be a little girl!
also I'm gonna make this a teen pregnancy (18), so from the very start up til now!
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when he finds out he would probably freeze for a moment before finally reacting (gotta soak it in yk)
he would be happy but shocked and confused at the same time
scared not to be present enough because of tour and the band
he would always kiss and touch your stomach
he'd cry when hearing the baby's heartbeat to the doctor 🥹🫶🏻
"I want the baby to be healthy, but if I had to guess I think it's a boy" (he 100% wants a girl)
idk I feel like he would call the baby "kleine Prinzessin" (little princess) or "kleiner Soldat" (little soldier) !!
when you go into labor he tries to keep his cool but deep down he's in full panic mode
the first time he met/held her it was like love at first sight for him even if he didn't quite know how to act since he never really had any past experiences with babies
he's very careful and gentle with her
always holding her
he would attack her with tickles to hear her little laugh
kiss attacks also
playing with her all the time
he wouldn't essentially spoil her (that's uncle Billy's job 😉) but he definitely gets her most things because he can't say no to that little face!
likes holding and showing her around: "look who's that in the mirror? it's you!"
definitely hiding her from the media
yet he LOVES talking about her in interviews!
though very very VERY rarely he would bring her out on stage and hold her like mf simba when she was about 1/2
his heart is always full whenever she's around
he would kneel down to talk to her‼️😩
always pushing her stroller or carrying her on his shoulders
don't ask me why but he'd get into play fights with her at the dinner table 😭 (especially when she's still learning to talk so she's speaking gibberish 😭)
he loves to take her baths and put fun toys in the tub
finds her extremely adorable in everything she wears
he'd give her his yellow dog plushie‼️😭 currently sobbing
I feel like he would try his best to let the baby's first word be "papa" 😭
when she's older he would start being more himself (so talk about things freely and make dirty jokes all the time)
he's not a regular dad, he's a cool dad! 😏 (please get the reference 😭)
he'd give her the talk 🫢🐝
he would pick her up in weird ways and make her laugh (like upside down etc lmfao 💀)
would let her do his hair but not his make-up
like I said in my uncle Tommy hc, i feel like he would love to play with the toy kitchen for some reason idk 💀
he's the overprotective girl dad FOR SURE (AND ITS THE HOTTEST AND CUTEST THING IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE)
he'd go down the slide with her 😭
at lunch/dinner he would always sit next to her
looooves when she's at their concerts and would ask Bill to dedicate her a song (especially her favorite)
he'd definitely write her a song too
he would make her try to eat a lemon 😭🍋
it's important to him that she has a good bond with her uncle Bill and the boys too! (uncle Georg and uncle Gustav 🥹)
"Y/n she looks more like me than you, gotta be honest"
he would give her what he didn't have growing up (if you read Bill's book, like I have, you'll know)
he wouldn't let anybody hurt or say anything wrong about her
hype man fr
high-key a very chill and permissive dad
he would make sure she knows her worth and to always be herself, without listening to what others say
always saying that she's the better copy of him
since he had her young, people (maybe even teachers at parent teacher conferences) mistake him for her brother and it's needless to say that he's very flattered while his daughter is just like 😐
they have a great bond
LITTLE FUN FACT‼️ Tom said in his podcast that if he ever has a daughter then his dream is to name her Nala like in the lion king movie 🤭😭 crying rivers rn part 2
your daughter tags along on tours, especially because it's very important for Tom and she loves it (idk if I already said this but oh well lmfaoo)
I have a feeling almost all her friends have a crush on Tom (i know i would 😋)
Tom is such a basic dad istg, he does bbq every sunday
if y'all ever become parents a second time then he would definitely have a happier reaction than the first one, yet he would be scared to take care of two little creatures~
his fans always ask about her during meet and greets and give her little presents, which he appreciates a lot
your daughter is pretty much popular in the entire fanbase you guys have and is considered a "lucky charm" from the band
Tom would give her the longest and most comforting hugs known to mankind
he'd make her a memory book with Bill 😭
and he'd give her some old goodies of his!
like some of his old clothes, hats, glasses etc..
overall he's the best dad and UGHHFHSJENF I cry just thinking about him not having any biological children :(
i hope you enjoyed this !! 💕 (also i apologize for any spelling mistakes but your girl over here is too lazy to re-read 🤪 love y'aaaallll)
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sweetbillwriting · 2 months ago
Text
Way Out of Line
ONE
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Beneath my perfume and make-up I'm just a baby in disguise. And though I know that it's wrong to be alone with him that "come on look" is in my eyes.
Character: Keith Toshko from Barbarian (2022) played by Bill Skarsgård.
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.
Notes: Merry Christmas! 🎀 I present my newest story now because it's set at Christmas. This story will be full of subjects that can provoke and a theme many recognize. The french is google translate!
Silver Bells, Silver Bells… It's Christmas time in the city…
I looked at the mountain of gifts in front of me on the floor. It was silly I still received so many Christmas presents and that my parents still said it was from Santa Claus. I was twenty-one years old, a whole woman, but I still got everything from my wish list. I sat and looked at an eyeshadow palette from Dior, swatching the shades on my hand while my dad sat and looked at me like I was still his five-year-old little girl. I would always be his little girl, even if I went to college and had my own car. Or technically it was his, but it was mine. What would he have done with a little white beetle?
“Are you happy with your gifts, Jacqueline honey?” Asked my mom when she came into the room, carrying her coffee mug. She was still dressed in her red robe that matched my red pajamas.
“Oh yes, thank you so much, I mean Santa,” I said with a giggle and laid the palette on the neat pile of gifts by the well-decorated Christmas tree. My mom smiled, pleased, and sat down next to my dad, who also drank his morning coffee.
“When will the others be here?” I asked as I stood up, ready to take a shower and make myself ready for our Christmas guests. It was my older brother with his family and my aunt with hers. There would be thirteen people, and I would sit by the kids table as usual. I didn't complain because I had never had a reason to leave the table, and I probably had more in common with my teenage cousins than the grown-ups.
“They will be here at one, but you know Jason is always early,” my mom said looking at her phone, probably checking for Christmas greetings on Facebook. I nodded a little before leaving my parents in our Christmas-decorated living room to walk to my bedroom on the second floor. I had my own en suite bathroom there and could take the time I needed. It was just family, so it wasn't really that important to look great, but it felt better to do my full routine even if no one would touch my smooth legs or check if my eyeliner was completely even.
While I stood in front of my mirror, after my shower, there was a knock on the door, and in confusion, I answered, “yes.”
“Can I come in?” my mom asked, against the door. Doubtfully I opened it even if I was just dressed in a white spaghetti top and panties, but my mom didn't seem to think about that; she just looked at me with big eyes.
“Would it be okay if you took Jason's old room for a few days?”
My first thought was that my aunt and her family would sleep over, but a few days sounded like a very long time.
“What? Why?” I looked around in my bathroom, all my expensive things and light colors. Children were not allowed in there. My mom looked stressed, fixing the red jacket of her velour tracksuit over and over.
“Your dad's friend, Keith, has suddenly showed up.”
I looked at Mom with furrowed brows. I have heard about Keith but more in a nostalgic way from my father’s old stories. I knew he was a musician, and my dad had been close friends with him when they went to college but seemed to have drifted away because of their different lifestyles.
“Why? It's Christmas Day? You can't just show up on Christmas Day?” I said, pulling out a drawer under the sink to search for a warmer shade for my lip pencil. My mom leaned against the marble sink and sighed.
“He has separated. Seems like he has been kicked out and needs somewhere to sleep. Awful woman who kicks him out on Christmas morning!”
“Maybe he is a pig? Maybe he has cheated? Or he's abusive? I dunno, men can be trash.” I continued to search for the right pencil, comparing them to each other. My mom shook her head but then looked at me seriously.
“So can he take your room?”
I had forgotten about the question, and when she asked it again, I felt my hackles go up. Some cheating, gross man would not sleep in my bed.
“Why? He can take Jason's room?”
“Yours is the only one with a bathroom. If he will live here for a while, he can't use the bathroom in the hallway all the time.”
I crossed my arms and pouted.
“Why not? I can't just move all my stuff to Jason's room!”
“We’ll move the important things, and he will let you in to get stuff. I'm sure of it! Keith is nice!”
I made a frustrated sound and pouted, trying to make my mom feel sorry for me, but she started to go through my drawers and cabinets, probably to see what I actually needed to move into the other room.
“Mom...! I whined and stomped my foot like a toddler but didn't get a reaction. Instead, I walked out to my room and looked at its cream color palette. It was so light, fresh, and clean, and a man would absolutely destroy that. I had never even had a guy in my bed, and I wanted it to be that way. I didn't like the smell of heavy cologne or cheap hair products.
“He will destroy something!”
“He will not,” sighed my mom as she walked out from the bathroom too, looking at my room. I think the both of us found things that were a bit embarrassing. My prizes from spelling competitions, my old children's books and movies, but also a super old picture of me and my high school boyfriend I still hadn't thrown out. There were leftovers from my time as a teenage girl in the room; it wasn't a grown woman's bedroom completely.
“Maybe you should stuff some things away…” My mom said gently while looking at my collection of seashells that lay spread out on the windowpane. Once again I huffed in frustration, but Mom didn't care.
“I'll go and find some linen for him, and you can start to move your things to Jason's room.”
I watched my mom leave while I stayed in the middle of my room with crossed arms. I didn't want to leave my room to a stranger. It felt intrusive, and I wondered if he would go through my stuff, read my journals, sniff my panties, or something. I had so much makeup he could break, and he maybe would leave hair and body fluids on my stuff, but my mom had made the decision. I knew she wouldn't change her mind, but I knew there was maybe another way to go, and that was to ask Keith.
I pulled on a pair of silky baby blue pajama shorts with my spaghetti tank. I fixed my hair, long and flowy, and then my makeup the sweet and girly way I've noticed other men liked. I maybe wasn't so experienced in having relationships with men, but I knew how to get their attention and use it for my own gain. Every good-looking girl knew that.
I walked down the stairs while practicing what I would say in my head. I would talk to my dad so Keith could overhear my fake sadness, and say to him how I can't sleep somewhere else. When my dad would say no, because he would, even if it pained him, just because he couldn't go against my mom, I would leave and go by Keith and say hello to him. I would look sad with shiny eyes but sweet and kind, playing with my long hair and fluttering my long lashes. I would brush my hair over my shoulders so he could see my chest, and I would play with the bow in the front of my shorts. I felt quite sure that he would give in.
When I had descended the stairs, I tried to locate my father and listened for sounds and heard someone sniffle in the living room. Knowing that my dad had a cold for a long time, I was sure it was him and prepared myself to look like his sad little girl. I walked into the big living room, looking around the corner by the open fireplace to see if my dad sat on one of the couches, but he wasn’t; instead, another man sat there.
I had never seen a photo of Keith, and I had never thought anything else other than that he was the same age as my dad, but the man who sat on the couch was probably just a few years over 30 and also looked handsome, even if his face was covered by his two big hands. He was crying, and something told me it had been far worse earlier because his hands shook, and in front of him on the table lay several used napkins. He sniffled again and dragged the back of his hand over his eyes, and it was then he saw me.
Both of us looked surprised at one another. In silence, we looked at each other up and down. I couldn't say how he saw me or why we didn't say anything. I just knew I was looking at a really attractive man with big, sad eyes.
“Are you okay?” I said carefully, and he smiled sadly and nodded. My first instinct was to run from him, run from the awkward moment of seeing a grown man cry, but my curiosity took over, and I felt a need to know more. Slowly I walked up to him and sat down in the other corner of the couch with my feet pulled up.
“Are you Keith?”
“Yeah… You must be Jacqueline?” He changed his position so he sat more towards me. I nodded a little and looked away in embarrassment after having looked at him a bit too long.
“Thank you for letting me come like this to you… And on top of that, take your room. I understand if that doesn't feel good; I can sleep wherever-”
“It's okay. It's okay,” I interrupted with a smile even if I had felt something completely different before. He dried his cheeks and smiled with a lowered gaze that made him look boyish even if he probably was ten years older than me. A giggle escaped my lips, but it caused him to just look at me with a bigger smile.
“I can show you the room...”
“Oh, thank you,” he said and stood up with me. He was much taller than me, and I got a tingle in my stomach that moved down lower when I looked at him up and down discreetly.
Been an awful good girl. Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight…
He walked behind me up the broad stairs, and I wondered how his view looked. How much of my ass could he see? Could he see how closely I've shaved my legs?
My cheeks heated like I've been sitting by an open fire, but thankfully my makeup covered a bit of it. I stepped into my room a bit embarrassed but also overwhelmed over having such a big man so close to me. His presence was almost overbearing, and I could feel my heart beating faster and faster.
He took some steps into the room and looked around at the interior, but I just looked at him. He was the first guy, except family members, who had been into my bedroom. He had on a pair of loose lounge pants that sat more tightly over his ass and also in the front, and I couldn't stop myself from looking. I could feel a pulse in my nether regions that made me squirm a little in my place. I had never had the feeling of wanting to be close to a man before just by looking at him, but there was something special with him, but I couldn't say if it was his eyes, lips, or body that made my limbs get soft.
Just by reflex I looked up at his face and met his questioning look.
“Hm?” I said, laying a hand over one of my glowing cheeks.
��I should give you a gift; it's Christmas, and you let me sleep in your bed and… Yeah, it's really nice of you. I should give you a gift.”
I smiled at him sweetly even if my thoughts were far from sweet. Something had taken over me after just meeting Keith, and my otherwise sweet thoughts were dripping with promiscuity. The only gift I wanted from him was to be able to share my bed with him and feel that Christmas spirit taking over us completely.
All I want for Christmas is you…
×××
Have a holly jolly Christmas; it's the best time of the year…
I wore a velvety burgundy dress with a big white collar and a black bow in my half-updo hairstyle. I had always dressed sweet at Christmas, going back to my childhood style, but I felt silly when I stood next to Keith. He was in a deep conversation with my brother about some soul artist I had never heard of, so I stood awkwardly next to them and just listened. During family celebrations, I most often was with my sixteen-year-old cousin Savannah, but I was afraid Keith would see me as a teenager if I was with her and talked about young actors and influencers.
The men continued to talk over my head while I played with my fingers nervously. Earlier, before my 28-year-old brother began talking to Keith, it was he who had been awkward. It was understandable; he would celebrate Christmas with a family he didn't really know, invited due to unfortunate events. He didn't seem to have had much clothing with him either because he had one of my dad's plaid button-ups on, but he still wore the gold band on his left hand. I didn't know what to think about it because I had no idea how it was to be separated, but I still thought he should have taken it off; he had been thrown out on Christmas.
“Chéri, aide-moi au lieu de rester là comme un imbécile.”
My mom began to carry out the dinner to the table and told me to help with a snappy voice. I woke up from my deep thoughts and met Keith's eyes. I couldn't read him, and I swallowed hard before giving him a shy smile. My brother mentioned another musician, and Keith turned his eyes to him quickly to be able to follow the conversation and made me feel silly that I believed he would give me his attention. I started to help my mother, even if my hands shook, and from nerves I did everything thoughtless and messy. My mom groaned, irritated, and fixed the cutlery I knocked into and moved the serving plates I put in the wrong place.
“Tu vas bien? Tu es si maladroit aujourd'hui.”
My mom asked if I felt alright but more irritated than caring, and I looked at her tired; she always stressed on Christmas.
“Je vais bien j'ai juste un peu mal dormi.”
I blamed my sleep and shrugged my shoulders. My mom accepted my excuse, but when she walked back to the kitchen, I looked towards the living room, where I could see Keith now talking with my aunt's husband. I wished I could join them and talk with ease and charm to him, but I didn't even dare to go up to him again. It felt like I had stood awkwardly next to him too much this evening. Instead, I stayed by the dinner table still just as awkward and looked at him with wide eyes. He didn't look like any other guy I've met, and he was so tall he was towering over my whole family. Even if he looked so manly, he moved softly and had a kind aura.
“Are you avoiding me or something?” Savannah had walked up to me with crossed arms.
“What? No.” I looked down at the table and pretended to correct a glass.
“Good.” She pulled out a chair and began playing with a fork, something I would never dare to do because of my mom.
“Do you keep up with Barry Keoghan?” She said excitedly, like it was the most important thing in life. I gave her a fast look and right after that at Keith. If he walked in and heard me talk about such shallow things, he would never talk with me for real.
“I must help Mom…” I said instead and gave Savannah a shoulder shrug.
There wasn't much left to do, and just minutes later, everything was ready. I took a last look at the tables. The dining table sat seven people, and then the other table sat six. I would sit at the smaller table, the kids table. I looked at the childish napkins and the soda in the middle and then thought about Keith. I would sit at the kids table. I felt a weird mix of panic and shame and looked at my mom, who took a last look at the arrangement. It was now or never.
“I want to sit with the grown-ups.”
I sounded like an eleven-year-old that wanted to play adult, and I felt my cheeks glow. My mom turned to me and looked at me confused, but then she shook her head. She gave me a sharp no in French.
“Why?” I whined and felt the panic even harder.
“It's good you're there and can help the younger kids.”
“But Savannah is there!”
“I said no,” said my mom with a louder voice, probably to make me give up, just like she did when I was a kid. That got my dad's attention, and he peeked into the dining room looking confused.
“What is it?”
“I want to sit with the adults. I'm 21! But Mom won’t let me!”
My dad gave my mom a look with furrowed brows. For many years he had felt that I should have a spot at the adult table, so for him it was given that I would change seats. My mom looked at us and then sighed and muttered something in French I couldn't hear. I didn't care what she said because I had won, and I couldn't hide my big smile… It wasn't really that I wanted to sit with the adults; the thought made me slightly nervous, but it was a relief to not look like a kid in front of Keith.
I'll have a blue Christmas without you. I'll be so blue just thinking about you…
Savannah looked hurt when she saw the kids table get filled up while I stood by the dinner table. I had taken a seat at the end where I knew my dad would sit. It felt safe to have one of my parents close, even if I knew everyone except Keith around the table. I looked at an empty seat, and that's when I realized the only seat left for Keith was the one right next to me. I stared out in front of me, scared to look toward my side when he walked up and filled my nose with a warm, musky scent.
“Is it okay if I sit next to you?” He asked, and I gave him a glance. I stared right into his chest, forgetting how tall he was, and looked away again. I gave him a little nod, then looked at my father, speaking to my brother, while standing by the chair next to him and opposite of Keith.
“Thank you…” Keith mumbled, and I gave him one more glance, this time remembering his eyes were higher up than mine. I met the green of his iris, and he gave me a smile before he took a hold of my chair and pulled it out for me. I didn't know where to look because to me that was a thing guys did on a date, or at least for a woman they were attracted to. I looked at my father, afraid he would be upset with Keith, but my dad shared a smirk with Keith, his friend, who just did it playfully to amuse his little daughter.
Keith let go of the chair when he realized I hadn't sat down, and I could see my dad looking on still amused, as if he had made fun of me. I felt the shame rise again but tried to swallow it down because I really wanted to make a good impression in front of Keith. I didn't really know why. It wasn't like I believed anything would happen between us, that I had a chance with a married man, but I wanted to be able to at least pretend something could happen between us.
I sat down, trying to do it smoothly, like a lady, and then looked at Keith when he had sat down next to me. I could feel my cheeks heat, like they had many times that day, but I pretended like it wasn't there. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to feel I was closer to him.
“How old are you?”
As soon as I heard what question I had picked, I bit my tongue. I had so many questions, but clearly my mouth had chosen the question I wanted an answer to the most. Keith smiled a little and took the wine bottle in front of him and the cork screw that lay next to it.
“Younger than your dad, if that's what you're wondering.”
Instead of looking at me, he looked towards my dad so he could gain his attention. “I'm not an old man!”
My dad laughed and threw out a finger towards Keith.
“Still, you look older than I do, Toshko!”
Keith laughed like it was impossible, and then they continued their banter. I sat and looked between them with a small smile even if I wasn't amused. I wanted a real answer to my question and had a silly thought about how I didn't want Keith and Dad being friends, even if that was the reason why Keith was in our home.
The men quit joking when my mom came to my father to ask him something, and Keith looked at me again.
“I'm 38. So yeah, a bit younger than your dad.” He smiled kindly at me, and I could see small lines around his eyes. He was almost 40. My dad was 47, so the age difference wasn't as big as I had thought between them. The age difference between me and Keith was bigger, though. 17 years.
“You're 20, right? I think you were, like, four when I met your dad.”
“21…” I stared at his big hands while he opened the wine bottle skillfully and I felt something itching in my stomach.
“Did you meet me then?” My voice was small.
“No, it never got that way.” He shrugged his shoulders, then showed me the bottle.
“Wine?”
I looked between his handsome face and the bottle before shaking my head. 
××× 
Santa, tell me if you're really there. Don't make me fall in love again…
I had said to myself that I wouldn't be with Savannah so much to make a more grown-up impression in front of Keith, but after he had told me his age, I gave that up. After dinner I played cards with her and her fifteen-year-old brother and then watched Miracle on 34th Street with the rest of my cousins. How Keith would see me as an adult felt impossible when he had heard about me since I was three years old. I would be a little girl in his mind forever. 
I saw him drink whiskey, smoke a cigar with my uncle, and was loud in that obnoxious way only middle-aged men could be. My ex had been a boy, a boy who liked tennis and Fortnite. I shook my head to myself when I thought about it but still felt an exciting curiosity when I looked at him. He smiled at me a few times, and a couple of times I succeeded in smiling back, but that was the only contact we had the rest of the day until it was time for me to go to bed. 
After my brother, Savannah, and all the others had left, I helped my mom in the kitchen so there wouldn't be so much work to do the next day. Both of us could feel the tiredness in our eyes and bodies and looked at each other confused when we could still hear my dad laugh loudly from the living room. On past Christmas Days he had even fallen asleep before the guests had gone home, but now he listened to jazz, drank, and laughed with Keith in the living room. He seemed to have lost ten years on his age by having Keith there, and I could see my mom was annoyed. She probably wanted to be able to lie down in bed with him because she marched out to them and told him sourly it was time to go to bed. I smirked, amused in my loneliness, because with age, my mom's diva behavior started to become funny instead of scary or annoying. I walked up to my room, skipping on saying goodnight so I wouldn't need to wait for them to finish their nagging. I was tired and lost in thought, so I forgot an important thing: I wasn’t sleeping in my bedroom. It was loaned out to someone else, but I just walked in and, in my sleepiness, closed the door and started to take off my clothes. 
I thought about Keith's marriage while I pulled off my tights. Who was his wife? How long had they been married? 
I thought about their separation while I pulled off my dress. Why did she kick him out? Would they make up? 
I thought about who he was as a husband while I pulled off my bra. Was he loyal? Was he romantic? Was he a generous lover? 
When I stood in my panties, laying my clothes on an armchair in the corner of the room,I heard a creek and looked towards the door that was being opened determinedly. I concealed my chest but didn't do more than that to cover my modesty. In my mind it could only be my mother. No one else would just open my door like that, but in the doorframe stood Keith, so tall his messy hair licked the top of the doorframe. I looked towards him in confusion for a few seconds. His eyes showed shock at first, but then we both seemed to relax under each other's gaze. I could feel him looking at my body from top to toe, and I basked in how his eyes glittered.
“I can take the other bedroom…” he said as he smirked a little. The smirk made me feel a sensation take over me, and a need for rebellion came over me, so I let go of my chest slowly. Keith swallowed hard but his smile grew while dragged a hand over his face. He looked over his shoulder like he was afraid someone would come, but at that moment I didn't care. He pulled his lip and shook his head a little. 
“Um... Good night.” 
“Good night,” I said, with a teasing smile, playing with my hair while I walked to my bed, letting him see my breasts in motion. I didn't know where the confidence came from, probably just seeing his eyes swimming with attraction and his cheeks rosy. 
“Merry… Merry Christmas,” he mumbled before taking a last look and closing the door to my bedroom. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the door for a few seconds before starting to giggle. I couldn't believe I had done that. I couldn't believe how he had looked at me. Keith was a grown man. A tall, sexy man. 38 years old. But he was also a friend to my dad. 
×
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mangowillow · 10 months ago
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last to know | ch. 2: as always, even now
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pairing: jungkook x (f) reader / kim woosung x (f) reader
summary: you and jeongguk got together at 16 years old, married at 20, and divorced at 21. what was once love ever after turned into nothing but pain and unfulfilled dreams. you keep going despite the pain in your heart that never really went away, until one day, jungkook comes back— to seoul and in your life.
general story tags: divorce au, childhood friends, angst, hurt & eventual comfort, kind of a slow burn, OC is an adopted child in this fic, a lot of flashbacks later on because context is important; and the others that a lot of people seem to dislike: a love triangle and a LOT of miscommunication. look away if this isn't your thing. tags and warnings will be updated as we go along with each chapter!
warnings: mentions of weight loss and a hospital, jeongguk has a panic attack (semi-detailed), problematic parent-child dynamics. let me know if i miss anything and please be kind!
word count: 5.3k
author's note: *peeks into the void* why hello there! let's pretend i didn't disappear off the face of the earth. earlier this year i went to see The Rose live for their dawn to dusk tour and it was so much fun! there's just a lot of things that have happened and continue to do so; please accept my sincerest apologies for being inconsistent! BUT. know that i haven't forgotten about this story. heh.
also a few more things: ♡ to put things into perspective: jeongguk, OC/reader, and woosung are all the same age; that also means they're as old as seokjin and yoongi in this fic. all the other members maintain their age. honorifics may or may not appear at times. if that bothers you, well, can't please everybody! ♡ this fic isn't beta'd nor proofread by anyone. we go rogue, always.
tags for interested readers will be open for as long as this fic is ongoing! let me know in the comments or message me, whatever fits your preference!
fic masterlist
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Woosung plants a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek and giggles.
Looking at him, you ask, “What was that for?”
“Do I need a reason?” Woosung teases as he chews on his jjajangmyeon. You chuckle at his candidness and reach out to wipe the sauce that landed on the corner of his lip. The both of you resorted to sitting on the floor, surrounded by boxes, using one of them as a makeshift table to place the food.
“I’m really happy you got to come today,” you muse, enjoying Woosung’s calming presence as he delicately places a piece of chicken karaage on your noodle bowl before setting his own down. You haven’t seen him for a few days because he needed to get some new music done in preparation for his application to a recording agency as a performer and a producer. You were more than happy to support him in any way you could, including giving him his space to figure things out. It was also who Woosung was— a quiet soul who liked working in solitude. 
You and Woosung are so much alike.
“Why? Did you think I’d forget?” Woosung teases, a smirk playing on his lips. 
“No, I just thought… maybe you needed more time to prepare for your application. That’s important.”
Woosung gently shakes his head, ready to disagree— “Nothing will ever be as important to me as you.”
A slight pink dusted your cheeks. You didn’t expect him to be this cheesy so early in the morning so you smile and cast your eyes back down to your meal. 
“... I do have news for you, babe.” Woosung starts. He turns his body to face you. Giving your hundred percent attention, you cut the noodles with your teeth and place the bowl down. Wiping your mouth with a napkin, you hum at his statement, “What is it?”
Woosung smiles and looks at you lovingly. You feel a bit self-conscious every time he stares at you so intensely and like clockwork, you feel your cheeks heat up. 
“I got the job, sweetheart.”
Hearing the news leave his lips leaves you surprised— your hands fly to your mouth and your eyes start to water. “R-really?” Woosung nods and chuckles through his own teary eyes, you throw yourself at him to give him a tight hug. “Woosung, oh my god— this is— “ you hold him by the shoulders, explore every inch of his face, elation in both of your hearts— “this is great, oh gosh I am so happy for you,” you hug him again. 
You feel Woosung’s body relax instantly in your hold; it has been a journey, walking with Woosung through his own painful moments struggling with his art and passion. Two years ago, he came to Seoul desperately needing a break from life and music after many unsuccessful attempts to make it into the music industry back home in the United States. Although he and his bandmates have put out several songs in the past, they never really gained as much traction with an audience as they had hoped. Going back home to his roots in South Korea also meant leaving his bandmates behind— they have been nothing but supportive of him and his time as they also needed to re-assess their own lives and figure out what they truly wanted. 
Two years ago, Woosung also met you. Both your lives changed ever since.
“Thank you for all your support, ____… you know I wouldn’t have been able to get through all this if it weren’t for you.” Woosung whispers, tightening his hold on your waist. You feel this, you feel everything when it comes to him— so you wrap your arms tighter around him, too. “This is all you, babe. This is all your hard work.”
You both stay that way for a while. Unspoken words are left hanging, as well. You both know well what might become of all this as you always try to communicate. You believe it is what has sustained your relationship for so long. 
Both of you know that Woosung will always belong to music— it’s his dream and the reason why he took so many risks along the way. It was only a matter of when. The possibilities have always been there— should there be a moment where Woosung would return to his career, to his band, to becoming a global star. The fears that come along with those possibilities were also ever-present: what you and Woosung’s future would look like. 
All of these thoughts come rushing to the both of you, but neither of you said anything.
For now, the both of you are happy. And that is enough.
When you parted from each other, you pushed away some of the hair that fell over Woosung’s eyes. “When do you start?”
Woosung takes a deep breath, “As soon as the higher-ups get settled in. I’ve been told they’ve recently landed in Seoul so it shouldn’t be too long now. I’ll be meeting with the owners and one of them is the lead producer. I heard he was a genius, but also a bit scary. They’ve also given me a signing bonus and a potential collaboration with him… that was new… he said they liked my work so much…”
“Wow, that… that sounds so exciting, baby. How are you feeling about all of this?”
“I’m nervous, for the most part,” Woosung murmurs, readjusting the collar of his shirt. It’s been a while since I talked to someone else about music professionally and… this company— I’ve heard so many wonderful things about it. For one, it was built by musicians, too. So I’m hoping they’re not just doing all of it for the business.” 
You smile warmly at Woosung and hold his hands. “You’re going to do great, you know that, right?”
Woosung draws in a breath and nods before meeting your eyes. 
That night, Woosung couldn’t sleep. He watches over you as you dream and when a strand of your hair falls on your face after moving a bit, he tucks it behind your ear. His fingers lightly dance while grazing the side of your face. Woosung sighs as a feeling of anxiety starts to creep into his heart. He loves change, but he cannot help but feel somewhat scared about it anyway. He gets so lost in his thoughts about you that he doesn’t notice you wake up.
“Baby, hey… you’re still awake.”
Your voice brings Woosung back to the present. Seeing your sleepy eyes under the sliver of moonlight that passes through your window makes his heart do a mini somersault— it always does.
“Hmm… I couldn’t sleep,” Woosung says. You scoot closer to him, his arm going under your shoulders to support your body in an embrace. 
“Tell me what’s on your mind,” you whisper, eyes closed, inhaling his scent— him. 
“Just… things. I’m not sure how to articulate them yet…”
You hum, “Then I’ll just stay like this with you to keep you warm… warmth helps you sleep, right?”
Woosung nods, bringing your body closer to his. “Hm… especially your warmth.” Seconds later, he feels you breathe deeper, letting him know that you’re about to let yourself succumb to sleep once more. “I love you.”
When no response came from you, Woosung closed his eyes. Then suddenly, in the stillness of the night, he feels your hand squeeze his ever so lightly.
“I love you, too.”
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“Hyung, I think that’s the salt—” Jimin starts.
Seokjin snorts, stopping with the shaker in his hand mid-air, “What do you mean, Jimin-ah, I think I know the difference between salt and sugar.” He was about to potentially put salt on the croffle in front of him, leaving Jimin feeling both very nervous and distressed.
“Last time, I remember you put the sugar in a different container because a customer accidentally broke the original shaker. The color of the cap was blue, not red. This—” he pointed at the shaker Seokjin was holding, “— is obviously not blue.”
“Yah, that happened last week, but I already switched them out two days ago—” Seokjin tries to argue.
They didn’t notice Woosung enter the cafe until he spoke, “Why don’t you just taste it?”
“Oh hey, Woosung-hyung,” Jimin greets.
“Hey, Jimin. Good to see you,” Woosung replies as Jimin nods, his eyes turning into crescents as soon as he smiles.
Seokjin scoffs once more before greeting Woosung, but he relents and tastes whatever is inside the shaker. When he makes a funny face, Jimin and Woosung chuckle.
“Told ya, hyung. Tell us I saved your life.”
“I can’t believe this is salt, I knew I already switched it out—”
With possible disaster averted, Jimin doesn’t listen to Seokjin’s monologue anymore, “You’re here early today, hyung. Would you like to order the usual?”
“Actually, I am here to buy a mango parfait… ____’s fridge is crazy cold and the frozen mangoes are, well, too frozen. I might actually break the blender. I also forgot to make her usual overnight oats. We had to move a lot of things very quickly yesterday so she could have a bed to sleep on.”
“I got you, hyung. We just finished making a fresh batch of parfaits. Do you want one, too?” Jimin asks.
“Are there other flavors?”
“Blueberry and strawberry,” Seokjin adds.
“I’ll take one blueberry, then. Thanks.” Woosung gets ready to pay, but Seokjin waves him away. “It’s on the house.”
“You always give us free stuff, Seokjin—” Woosung tries to argue, but Seokjin shakes his head immediately.
“Taking care of my sister is more than enough, Woosung-ah.”
Woosung gives Seokjin a tight smile and nods. Seokjin then asks, albeit softer, “How is she doing lately?”
“She’s doing better,” Woosung reassures. “She has been painting more recently; not just because of her job at the university, but also at home. We’re going to set up her studio today so it should be fun.”
“That’s good to hear, right hyung?” Jimin turns to Seokjin, who nods. Jimin hands Woosung a paper bag with the parfaits. “I put some new desserts we’re experimenting with. Please give them a try.”
Woosung peeks at the paper bag and sees croissants and greenish muffins, presumably matcha-flavored. “Oh wow, thank you Jimin… I won’t take up too much of your time, guys. ____ is still sleeping and I need to clean up the mango disaster I left on her kitchen counter before she wakes up.”
Seokjin chuckles, “You really came all the way here for parfaits when you could have bought these anywhere near ____’s apartment.”
“Ah, but nothing beats your parfaits, Seokjin. A wise man once told me that,” Woosung smiles. He and Seokjin instantly formed a bond the moment they met two years ago, much to your relief. You’ve always been nervous to tell your brother anything remotely new about your love life— and you understand where he is coming from.
“Well whoever that wise man is must be pretty smart,” Seokjin replies. His eyes soften right afterward. “Go. Let’s have a drink sometime, yeah?”
“Sure thing,” Woosung waves goodbye to Seokjin and Jimin.
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Jeongguk walks the hallway of the recording studio, still groggy from sleep. Hands in his pockets, he stood outside Yoongi’s door, staring at his peculiar mat: a cat with its middle finger raised, the words ‘fuck off’ glaring at him. Figures, he thought. A doormat won’t stop him from ringing Yoongi’s doorbell, though.
“Who is it?” he hears Yoongi call out.
“It’s your favorite person in the whole wide world,” Jeongguk says, sarcasm lacing his voice. He pinched the bridge of his nose; a habit he developed in college whenever he felt the exhaustion seep out of him. He hears scuffling from the other side of the door until the sound of the door’s automatic lock rings. Jeongguk sees Yoongi clad in a plaid shirt, ripped jeans, and a gray beanie— his signature style. 
“Dumbass,” Yoongi mutters under his breath before turning his back to return to his equipment. “Good morning to you too,” Jeongguk teases as he closes the door behind him. 
“How are you already set up? It’s barely a day since we arrived!”
Yoongi chooses not to respond. 
“You’re kidding me, right?” Jeongguk asks in disbelief. “Please tell me you at least went home to get your shit sorted? Or maybe sleep like normal human beings do?”
“I did… for a brief moment, maybe?” Yoongi starts.
Jeongguk shakes his head, “You have to stop spreading yourself thin, Yoongi. It’ll be the death of you.”
Yoongi fiddles with a few knobs on the synthesizer before muttering, “That doesn’t seem so bad— spreading myself too thin, that is.”
Jeongguk throws his hands up in surrender and rolls his eyes.
“Have I succeeded in frustrating you to hell and back, yet?” Yoongi smirks while continuing to flit his eyes through the numerous screens in front of him.
Jeongguk was about to say something but then the door alarm clicked. Kim Namjoon’s head peeks out from behind the door.
“I came to say my welcome remarks,” Namjoon says as he lets himself in. Jeongguk’s mouth falls open because he couldn’t believe Namjoon could just easily waltz in without any resistance. What’s even more astounding was that he knew Yoongi’s passcode— while he, on the other hand, had to ring the fucking doorbell.
“Oh, great. So your boyfriend knows your passcode and I don’t?” Jeongguk asks.
“He isn’t my boyfriend,” Yoongi states, matter-of-factly. Jeongguk couldn’t help but glance at Namjoon’s way, who seemed unfazed.
“Right, and I’m Neil Armstrong,” Jeongguk plops down on the couch.
“You’re the CEO, Jeongguk, of course, you should know the passcode… right, Yoongi?” says Namjoon, ever the oblivious one. 
Yoongi continues to do work on his computer, his fingers deftly flying across his keyboard, “Don’t encourage him, Namjoon.”
Namjoon looks back at Jeongguk who has now taken an interest in the plant beside the couch. When they met each other’s eyes, Namjoon just shrugged, his dimples showing. 
“How was your flight, you guys? I hope everything was easy peasy.”
“Easy peasy lemon squeezy,” Jeongguk responds. “Not sure about Yoongi here though. He looked like he was about to puke.”
“Shut up,” Yoongi retaliates.
“I can’t imagine the both of you tolerating each other while in another country. It’s a miracle this production company is still standing upright,” Namjoon says chuckling. 
Namjoon met Jeongguk first in university while they studied in New York. Although Jeongguk was a business student and Namjoon double majored in music theory and composition, they ran into each other at a frat party-— with Jeongguk being drunk off his ass. He was about to fall into the pool full of piss (which the other frat members thought was funny) when Namjoon saved him in the nick of time. 
Apart from Yoongi, Namjoon also served as Jeongguk’s confidant, especially after things went south between you and Jeongguk. When the dust settled and Jeongguk was sober enough to realize the gravity of his mistakes, Namjoon helped Yoongi pick up the pieces of Jeongguk’s brokenness. As with time passing by, Namjoon and Yoongi started to develop into something more, too. Much to Jeongguk’s delight and envy.
However, neither Yoongi nor Namjoon has admitted their feelings to the other. And truth be told, Jeongguk is sick of them dancing around each other.
But he also knows it’s none of his business.
“Hey, Jeongguk, is that family dinner of yours still happening tonight?” Yoongi decides to ask. Also probably to change the subject.
Jeongguk lets out a deep sigh. “Yes, it is.”
“Ouch. Will you be alright?” Namjoon asks out of genuine concern.
“I don’t really have a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Jeongguk-ah,” Yoongi inserts. “You just need to work on making the right ones.”
Jeongguk slacks his jaw and runs his tongue across his lip ring. He doesn’t really have an answer to that.
Because once again, Yoongi was right. Not just about the damn family dinner; Jeongguk also knows his best friend’s words run deeper and imply a whole lot more than just feeling forced to sit down with his parents over steak and champagne.
“See you on the other side, then,” Namjoon says as he pats Jeongguk on the shoulder before leaving the room.
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Jeongguk mulled over bringing flowers to the family dinner but decided against it.
He knows that the house would be filled with them, anyway. And his efforts won’t matter, either.
As he got out of his car, a chauffeur was already by his side ready to take his keys for him. When the car drove off, Jeongguk took a moment to look at the house he hadn’t lived in for years. It feels odd to come home; it feels even odder to feel numb about all of it.
It took Jeongguk a few seconds to ring the doorbell; for god’s sake, it was his house too, he thought. Ringing the doorbell meant he was a stranger— which he felt was appropriate.
He was greeted by a new housekeeper. He gave her a nod before stepping inside. Almost instantly, his mother appeared at the top of the staircase. They look at one another for a moment, before his mother breaks the silence.
“You finally decide to show yourself.”
Jeongguk doesn’t move. Doesn’t respond, either. He was prepared for a stare-off match with his mother, but that was until his father showed up from the kitchen. With a dish towel in hand, Jeongguk’s father smiled at him as he placed a hand on his son’s shoulder.
“It’s so good to see you, son.”
Jeongguk, once more, doesn’t have it in him to respond.
At the dinner table, the silence was so loud, that Jeongguk thought it could break glass.
“Did you settle in fine, Jeongguk?” his father asks.
“Yes, father, I did.”
“You should have chosen a place that was nearer to us, Jeongguk,” his mother chides.
“Honey…” Jeongguk’s father tries to put out a fire that is about to ignite. Jeongguk, on the other hand, was so tired from the flight and emotionally, that he felt a need to retaliate.
Because why not? Whether he speaks up or not wasn’t really up to him. Between him and his mother, he has nothing to lose.
“I don’t know, mother, I chose that place because I wanted to get away from here as much as possible.” Jeongguk remarks. He knows he hit a nerve because his mother downed her champagne rather than respond.
“How is the company going, son? Everything doing alright?” his father asks, trying to mitigate a conflict that neither of them could recover from.
“I guess. Yoongi and I haven’t managed to burn anything so that’s nice,” Jeongguk eats a spoonful of mashed potato. He knows he really needs to shut up and regulate his emotions, but he just can’t help but be sarcastic.
Once more, the silence won. However, Jeongguk’s mother is the type to not back down.
“You should think about getting married soon, Jeongguk—” she starts. Jeongguk feels himself grow cold as if on instinct. 
“—and this time, we want you to marry someone your level,” she finishes. Jeongguk felt his heart twisting so painfully that he didn’t notice how tight he held on to his cutlery.
Jeongguk swallows the once-repressed pain that used to consume him whole. He knows this is futile because he never dares to face his regrets square in the face. Instead, he allows the pain to make him angry. He allows his resentment to consume him in ways he doesn’t know how to handle and in a pained effort to avoid causing further damage, he remains quiet. Unresponsive. Cold. Withdrawn.
But his own mother is even more cold-hearted than he is. She is the one who made him like this.
It’s her fault.
“You need to marry a good woman who can keep up with your social status. Remember you’re not just anyone, Jeongguk. You’re a Jeon. And you have a legacy to uphold,” his mother condescends. 
Tears start to sting Jeongguk’s eyes, but he doesn’t want to let his mother win. So he keeps still.
“I have a few prospects for you, dear. We should set dates for them, don’t you think so? I chose the most refined and educated—” Jeongguk hates how his mother knows how to push his buttons and hurt him.
He knows that his mother knows his ultimate weakness.
You.
And because his mother cannot contain her insecurities and prejudice, she projects it all on her son. But most especially, you— whether you were in the room or not.
Jeongguk’s mother continues her monologue. His father miserably fails to become the referee (he always does). Heat starts to rise Jeongguk’s neck and he swears he could hear his own blood pumping through his ears. What almost immediately follows is the high-pitched ringing that only he can hear. 
Jeongguk starts to feel dizzy; like he’s about to lose control.
But instead of releasing, instead of crying, instead of getting angry— he does none of them. 
He finds himself standing up, his hands dragging the plate full of food to the ground. With all his might, Jeongguk tries to breathe deeply.
“That’s enough, mom.” Jeongguk croaks. A tear escapes his eye. “Please.”
Jeongguk rarely addresses her as “mom”. But in times of vulnerability and helplessness, it’s the term he ends up using.
“As I expected… you are still weak, Jeongguk.” his mother states with absolutely no remorse.
Jeongguk feels like he is about to throw up. To save himself, he drags his legs to leave the dining area. Housekeepers try to help him, but he brushes them aside. Security guards around the house up until the gate tried to support him, but Jeongguk just waved them all off.
He just needed to get away before his vision completely blurred. He needed to get out of this godforsaken house.
It was a miracle that Jeongguk got far away from the house as he had. But in doing so, he felt physically weaker and weaker. His mind isn’t done with him yet as thoughts of you start to resurface. His chest starts to tighten again. He feels cold and afraid and tired.
Jeongguk falls to his knees on the side of the road; he allows his body to go limp and fall to the ground. 
He barely remembers what happened next.
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When Jeongguk opens his eyes, bright, stale lights greet him. 
He hears beeping, faint footsteps, a voice over an intercom.
He feels something brushing his leg so gently that it takes him a while before realizing that someone is standing over him, wiping the edge of his slacks.
Jeongguk squints his eyes to get a better look at the person touching his leg. When he tries to elevate his upper body, the person in front of him feels him moving.
Jeongguk couldn’t believe who he was seeing. His panic attack must still be happening because it was impossible.
It was you.
“Oh… hi,” you start. Jeongguk is at a loss for words so he continues to stare at you.
You immediately feel self-conscious so you start to wrangle the damp cloth you were holding. 
“Are you okay? Hang on, I’ll call the nurse—”
You start to leave, but Jeongguk catches your wrist. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. You look at his hand on your wrist before Jeongguk lets go of it.
“W-what happened?”
“You’re at the hospital… um, I– I got a call from them saying you were here,” you say.
Jeongguk’s eyebrows met. He is still confused as to how or why the hospital would call you. As he looks at you, in the flesh, in front of him, the familiar ache in his chest threatens to overwhelm him again.
You look as beautiful as ever, even more so than the last time he saw you. The last time he did, you were crying to him. He did that to you. That was his fault.
“Are you hurt, anywhere, Jeongguk? I think I need to call your doctor, just give me a second—”
“No… please. I’m okay. I don’t feel any pain.” Except for my broken heart.
“Oh… okay.”
Jeongguk observes you, more particularly your hands. You still have that habit of fiddling with your fingers when you didn’t know what to do, he thinks. 
“H-how did the hospital call you? You didn’t change your number?” Jeongguk is a hundred percent sure his choice of questions was dumb, but he doesn’t have any idea as to why you’re here.
“The hospital told me I was your emergency contact… they uh– they only found your wallet on you and found this,” you explain as you handed him his wallet. Inside was an old piece of paper with your emergency contact number and e-mail address.
“The e-mail address is now defunct, but my number is still the same because I had it reactivated when I came back here…”
When I came back here, Jeongguk repeated to himself. 
Jeongguk wanted to ask you a million questions, but his throat feels dry and he is unable to speak. 
“I um, I also called Yoongi. He should be here any minute,” you continue. When Jeongguk looks at you funny, you give him a small smile— the first one you’ve given him since he woke up. “We talk sometimes.”
There is a lot of information that Jeongguk needs to process but his head hurts a lot and he makes a mental note to interrogate his friend later.
You move to grab and open the plastic bag that is on the bedside table. You pull out a pair of black socks. Jeongguk sees you hesitate a bit before speaking again.
“I got these across the street… your socks got wet from the rain.”
“Oh.” Jeongguk feels really dumb.
“May I?” you tentatively ask. “Your feet will get cold if we don’t—and you have the IV on so you won’t be able to use your hands—”
“It’s okay…” Jeongguk’s response startles you. “Thank you.”
You nod and sit by his feet to put on the new socks. Jeongguk feels the tears again but he tries to hold them back as he feels your touch and your warm fingers graze his bare, cold skin. When you’re done putting them on him, you smile to yourself.
“Does that feel better?” you ask.
Jeongguk nods and hums. He took his time to look at you and to his mild surprise, you reciprocated. A sense of stillness seemed to occur like time stopped just so Jeongguk could fully take in the sight of you.
He hurriedly tries his best to memorize all your features—old and new. Your face is smaller, your cheekbones higher; both indicative of you losing a bit of weight since he saw you last. Your eyes are softer, but also more tired. You also grew out your hair. 
To Jeongguk, you are still so beautiful.
And he missed you so much that his heart hurt again at the thought of losing you.
“How are y—” Jeongguk tries to ask, but the door to his hospital room slid open, revealing a disheveled Yoongi.
“Jeongguk, are you okay? What happened?”
Jeongguk notices you quickly moving aside to give Yoongi room. 
“I’m fine, Yoongi. I guess I just passed out and—”
“You had another panic attack, Jeongguk. That’s the second time this week. Have you taken your medication?”
Yoongi’s string of questions had Jeongguk feeling anxious. He just had the unexpected chance of seeing you again but under the most dire circumstances. Surely, it wasn’t the time for you to hear about his mental health issues.
“Yoongi, can we—” Jeongguk tried to save face, but Yoongi was faster. 
Yoongi turns to you and hugs you. “I’m sorry, ____, you must have been so confused.”
“No, not at all, I’m… I’m glad I could be of help,” you reassure. More so for Jeongguk because you know this must be very awkward for him. 
A bit of awkwardness did happen because none of you spoke for a bit. Your phone ringing was the only saving grace.
“Hello? Oh, okay. I’ll be right out,” you answer the other person on the line. Hanging up, you say, “Um… I should get going.”
“Is someone picking you up?” Yoongi asks.
“Yes, Taehyung’s just a few minutes away,” you answer.
Yoongi nods and pulls you in for another hug. He whispers his thanks and you respond by hugging him tighter.
You also approach Jeongguk a little closer. “Take care of yourself, Jeongguk.” You see the pain in his eyes, but you refuse to acknowledge it to yourself, even if Jeongguk’s eyes were brimming with unshed tears and his nose was already pink.
Jeongguk doesn’t want you to go. But again, he has no choice but to let you.
“You too, ____.”
As soon as you close the door, Jeongguk allows his tears to fall.
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As soon as you get into the car, Taehyung asks his questions.
“Why the hell did you just come out of a hospital?”
“Tae—”
“Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere? You’re the only one there? What happened?” You can feel the panic rising in Taehyung as he inspects you, but you just chuckle.
“Yah—you laugh?”
“I’m fine, Taehyung,” you tell him but he doesn’t look convinced. “I really am.”
“Then why were you in there?”
“I saw Jeongguk again, Tae,” you calmly respond.
Taehyung freezes. “You’re joking, right?”
“I’m not,” you answer.
“And you’re… are you okay?”
“I am.”
Taehyung knows you better than that but he gives you a pass because he could also tell you were tired and your short answers mean that you didn’t want to talk just yet.
“Do you want to talk about it over ice cream and fries?”
For a second, you felt tempted, but you just also wanted to go home. “Maybe some other time, Taehyung.”
Taehyung understands immediately and nods. “Should I take you to Woosung hyung or do I take you home?”
You do want to see Woosung because you know he is what you need, but you also don’t want to burden him with a bombshell of an event so you opt to be alone for the night. “Take me home, please.”
“Okay, ____,” Taehyung answers.
The rest of the car ride was a quiet one.
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The short walk in the hallway leading to your home is a heavy one. As you punch in your passcode, you deeply sigh. You want nothing more than to collapse on the bed and ruminate on what just happened over the past few hours.
However, the moment you open the door, a wave of delicious scents welcomes you home. As you take off your shoes, you see a familiar pair. You smile to yourself as you place yours beside it. 
You enter your home further and see Woosung with his back to you, working his way in the kitchen. As if on cue, Woosung turns around and walks toward you. 
“Hey you,” you say with a smile.
“Hi,” Woosung responds, gathering you in his arms and pulling you into a tight embrace. “Did you have a good day, today?”
You feel yourself swallow once before nodding. Woosung, ever the sensitive boyfriend, holds you tighter.
You know you can’t hide from him. So you hold on to him tighter, too.
And you allow yourself to break down and cry.
Woosung feels your body shake and he runs his hand across your back to soothe you. 
He may not know what’s going on right now, but he also knows you will talk to him when you’re ready. So he continues to embrace you; kissing the side of your head after a while.
Woosung whispers against your ear, “You’re safe with me, sweetheart.”
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taglist: @whoa-jo @nays2112 @junecat18 @jk97bam @butterymin @smdnai
tags for interested readers will be open for as long as this fic is ongoing! let me know in the comments or message me, whatever fits your preference!
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awriterinthenight · 4 months ago
Text
10 Thing I Hate About You, Part 2-Luke Castellan
words: 2178
warnings: Swearing, sword fighting, mention of murder. Some small notes btw, I've stuck to the movie a bit so far to help set up the story, after this I'll probably start branching off. Also I love putting in some of my favorite scenes and lines, its like my favorite part of writing this
summary: Chris now needs a plan to ask out Bianca. So, him, Connor, and Travis need someone to take out reader, but they need someone to pay for it. So, who better than Joey to pay Luke to do so.
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"Hello Y/N, make anyone cry today?" Dionysus asked, in an unamused tone. Her and Mr. D had always had a small relationship, due to the fact she'd been there for so long, and if Mr. D ever wanted to hate on campers, she was the perfect counselor to do it with.
"Sadly no, but it's only 4:30," she said, walking towards her table where she sat by herself. Since she and her sister were in different cabins they didn't sit with each other, and never really snuck over to the other's table, unless they had something important to share.
When dinner ended she walked with Bianca towards the campfire with Bianca's cabin. "So, why were you walking with Joey," Y/N asked, protective of her little sister.
"We were just walking. It's not I'm him," she said, used to her sister's protectiveness by now.
Y/N scoffed, "Yeah, cause I would never let you," she told her sister.
"Why can't I date anyone, it's just a boy?" Bianca asked, since recently she'd been getting annoyed by the fact that she apparently wasn't allowed to date anyone.
"Because, have you seen the unwashed miscreants that go to this camp," the older girl said.
Bianca sighed, "Can't I just go on one date, it can't hurt," she pleaded with her sister, desperate to have at least one normal part of her life.
Y/N rolled her eyes, sighing, "Fine, you can date," she started, getting her sister's hopes up, "When I do," she finished, crushing Bianca's spirit.
"But, no one dates you," her sister complained.
"Great, then you won't date either, problem solved," she said, walking away now, since she never went to the campfires, because she thought they were boring.
"You suck," Bianca mumbled, so her sister wouldn't hear.
Unfortunately she did, and mocked her, "You suck."
***
Chris was out by one of the picnic tables waiting for Bianca to show up. He'd spent the past couple of days learning as much Latin as possible. When Bianca finally showed up, she seemed in a hurry to leave.
"Can we make this quick, Stephanie and Joe are having a hideous break up in the pavilion, again" she told him.
He stumbled over his words, trying to do his best to ask her out, "Well I was thinking we could start with all pronunciations," he said, rather nervous to be near her.
She groaned, "Not all the boring stuff please," she complained, rather hating Latin.
"W-well there is an alternative," Chris said, mustering up all the courage he had.
Bianca lit up, excited that maybe there was an alternative, "There is?"
Chris took in a breath, nodding his head, "Yeah, we can do something not boring, like maybe getting food together sometime," he finally asked, anxious for her answer.
"Are you asking me out?" Bianca asked, a bit shocked, "That's so cute, what's your name again?"
"Uh, Chris. Look I know your sister doesn't let you date, but I was thinking if it was for Latin tutoring, then maybe-" he said, getting cut off by Bianca.
"Oh wait a minute, Curtis," she said, getting his name wrong.
"Chris," he said, correcting her.
She continued, ignoring his correction, "My sister just came up with a new rule. I can date when she does," she told him, trying to figure out a work around of her sister's absurd rule.
"Really, then I heard there's this great spot by the-" he tried telling her, getting cut off again.
"The problem is that my sister is a particularly cruel person, no one would want to date her," Bianca said, presenting him the main issue, slightly insulting her sister.
Chris started to lose hope, but tried to think of a solution, "Well, there has to be someone willing to date a difficult person like her," trying desperately to think of a solution, "People do such extreme stuff all the time, it'll be like extreme dating."
Bianca smiled brightly, "You'd find someone like that for me?" she asked, touched by how much he was willing to do for her.
"Hell yeah, of course I would," he exclaimed, joyful that maybe he could actually go one a date with her.
***
Chris met up with Travis the next day in hopes of finding someone willing to date Bianca's sister.
"I have put together the perfect group of eligible bachelors," Travis said, leading Chris to a hidden part of the camp. When Chris arrived he saw a group of...odd people, but maybe this could work.
"Hi, are any of you interested in dating Y/N Stratford."
The first guy just laughed in their faces.
The second one sat in silence, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else.
"I've never been that ripped," the guy who was probably high, said.
"Maybe if we were the last two people alive, and there were no sheep. Are there sheep?" the next guy asked, as they decided he was a lost cause.
The last guy was the worst. Screaming bloody murder as if they murdered his family in front of him.
***
"Didn't I tell you, it was pointless. No one will date her," Connor said, as Chris and Travis filled him in on everything that happened.
Chris looked up at some random guy across the art and crafts room and asked, "Hey, what about him?" as they guy took a pair of scissors and carved something into the table.
Travis and Connor turned around, then immediately back at Chris, "No no no, not him. I heard he almost lit a satyr on fire once. He just did a year away from camp," Travis warned him.
Chris smirked, "Well at least he's horny," he joked.
Connor just shook his head, "We're serious man, he's whacked."
"I heard he sold liver on the black market for a new set of speakers," Travis said, spreading a rumor that was probably false.
Chris looked back over as he lit a cigarette, and his friend put it out. "He's our guy," Chris assured the Stolls. He continued to look until the guy looked back, scaring the three of them. "Who is he anyway?" Chris asked, curious about the guy he was about to set up with his future girlfriend's sister.
Travis sighed, "That's Luke Castellan, Hermes counselor. Technically our brother," Travis informed.
"Bit of an asshole sometimes, but he has his good days," Connor added, "But mostly people ignore him."
***
Chris and Connor entered the arena where Luke was training, in hopes of getting him to go out with Y/N. "Hi, so I was wondering if you-" Chris started, getting cut off by Luke pointing his sword at Chris' throat, "Never mind," he said, no walking out as fast as possible.
***
"So, how do we get him to date Y/N," Travis asked, after hearing Chris and Connor's story of their interaction with Luke.
Chris was deep in thought, "Well, maybe we could pay him, but we don't have any money," he suggested.
"Well then what we need is a backer," Travis suggested, getting confused looks, "You know, someone with money who's stupid."
***
Travis, who drew the short end of the straw, went and sat at Joey's table, "Is that a peach, you don't see many around here," he said, reaching for it, but getting his hand slapped.
"You lost?" Joey questioned, annoyed by Travis sitting at the Ares table.
"Well no, I just came to run something by you," Travis said, as Joey took his face and started to draw on it. "I had an idea I thought I would run by you."
"Does this conversation have a purpose?"
Travis cleared his throat, "Well yes, you want to date Bianca Stratford right.
"Yeah, what's it to you?"
"You know how her sister is whacked, right. Well she made a new rule that Bianca can date when she does. Now you need someone to date her, since she's an extreme headcase. So, you could pay someone like him to do it," Travis explained, pointing to Luke over at the Hermes table.
"What's in it for you," Joey asked, suspicious of why he would help him.
Travis cleared his throat again, "If I'm walking in the halls and I say hello, you say it back," Travis proposed.
"Yeah, yeah, you're cool by adjacence," Joey said, "Well, I'll think about it." Travis sat there a minute longer than he should have, "That means scram," Joey told him harshly.
The next moment Travis got up and went back to his brother and friend, "He's on board," he informed them of their victory.
"That's great," Chris exclaimed, as Connor patted Travis' shoulder and walked away, both of them trying not to laugh.
"I have a dick on my face, don't I," Travis exclaimed, watching his friend and brother walk away chuckling.
***
Joey approached Luke, who was sitting on a bench with some friends, "Hey, nice cigarette, huh," he said, as Luke lit another cigarette.
"What," Luke said, confused.
"You see that girl over there," Joey said, as Luke nodded, "That's Y/N Stratford, I want you to take her out."
"Sure, Sparky," Luke said, blowing out smoke.
"Look she's a bit whacked. She has this rule that her sister can't date till she does, and I want to take her sister out so-" he told Luke before getting cut off.
"Good story, not my problem."
"Would you make it your problem if I offered compensation?" Joey asked, trying to bribe him.
Luke seemed to be in thought for a moment, "How much?" he asked.
"20 bucks," he said, looking over at her where she just knocked a camper over while sword fighting them, "Fine, 30."
Luke got up and started to walk around Joey, "If I take her out that'll cost me about 40 bucks, and she'll probably want dinner. Now that's around 55 bucks, then to cover other costs that'll be about 75," Luke said, stating his final price.
"This isn't a negotiation, take it or leave it," Joey said, starting to get annoyed.
"50 and we have a deal," Luke offered. Joey then handed him the cash in agreement, as Luke went to go talk to Y/N.
***
1st person, Y/N Stratford
I was walking back from where I was training, to head to my bag and grab water. Unluckily for me, I was intercepted on my way there, "Hey there princess, how are you?" he asked, sounding strangely upbeat.
"Sweating like a pig, and you?" I asked, slightly annoyed.
He smiled, "Now that's the way to get a guy's attention," he said sarcastically.
"My mission in life," I said, my voice full of annoyance and sarcasm. I started to walk away from him, but he followed.
"I'll pick you up on Friday then," he said, walking by my side.
I just scoffed, shaking my head, "Yeah, Friday uh-huh," I said, annoyed he wouldn't take a hint and leave.
"I can show you places you've never seen before," he continued, trying to get me to agree.
"Where, like Zeus' fist," I said, trying to walk away, "Do you even know my name, screw boy?"
"I know a lot more than you think," he said, rather cryptically. At that point I just walked away, leaving him there to ponder.
Over in a corner by the arena Chris, Connor, and Travis were watching the whole scene, "We're screwed," Chris stated bluntly.
"I don't want to hear that defeatist attitude," Connor said, trying to not give up hope,
"We're screwed," Chris said again, but more cheerfully and upbeat this time.
"That's the spirit," Travis exclaimed.
***
"Nice music taste," I heard someone say, as I was leaving the Hermes cabin. Usually some of them are able to smuggle in good cds, so I would buy some occasionally.
"What are you stalking me now," I accused, annoyed at him.
He scoffed, "This is my cabin, and I saw you leaving. Thought I'd said hi at least," he defended.
"Hi," I deadpanned, walking out of the cabin.
He followed me out of the cabin asking, "Not a big talker, huh?"
"Not with you," I stated bluntly.
"You're not afraid of me are you?"
"Afraid of you, why would I be afraid of you?"
"Well, most people are."
"Well I'm not."
"Maybe you're not afraid of me, but I'm sure you've thought about me naked."
"Am I that transparent? I want you, I need you, oh baby oh baby," I mocked sarcastically. At that he finally walked away seeming to give up. Just when I thought I was in the clear for being left alone, Joey had to walk past, shoulder checking me.
I wasn't gonna let that slide, so I stuck out my foot tripping him. Startled, he fell flat on his face, so hard I could hear his nose crack.
"Oh, you bitch," he exclaimed, standing back up.
"Whoops."
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Luke standing there, looking proud, which made me slightly smile, but I did my best to hide it. He still noticed though.
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cruisebuckley · 5 months ago
Text
“Talk about love.” — JJ Maybank X Fem!Reader
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SUMMARY: JJ is in love and he doesn't know how to confess, he has never been good with words, he keeps it a secret until he can't hold it back any more on a party — the problem is (Y/N) doesn't seem to be on the same page.
MUSIC: “Talk about love” by Zara Larsson
A/N: feedback it always welcome!! this is the first OBX fic I am reposting from my old account (I accidentally deleted it lmao) and it was inspired by TAL a song by Zara Larsson, the first version of this story was sadder and I didn't inted to make a second part at the time, today tho I sat down to rewrite and repost it and decided this jj and y/n deserved more of a happy ending so there'll be a second part inspired by another poster girl song!
WARNINGS: English is not my first language. Cursing.
WORD COUNT: 2.180
[MASTERLIST] [MOODBOARD] [PART 2]
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JJ drinks the last of his drink, eyes flickering to where she was dancing with her friends, a wide smile on her face while she moves her hips in the beat of the song. He was having a hard time taking his eyes off her all night long. She was gorgeous, always was, but she was even prettier today. Maybe it was because of how happy she looked, singing with all she had, smiling with her friends.
“JJ, I’m gonna get more beer, do you want some?” Kiara asks, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Yeah,” he nods, thinking it would be good to use the drinking games with John B as a distraction from (Y/N). He doesn't know what's motivating him to keep his distance for so long, he had come to the party with the intention of talking to her, but now he just couldn't, something was holding him back.
“Dude, you should do something,” John B. says.
“Yeah, you’ve been staring at her the whole night.” Pope rolls his eyes, “you’re never like this, why don’t you just talk to her?”
JJ snorts, but inside he feels more insecure, why was he so nervous? 
“I’ll talk to her, it’s just…” JJ clears his throat, trying to think of an excuse.
“Just?” Pope raises his eyebrows.
“She’s with her friends, you know, having fun and all” JJ shrugs. 
“Please,” Pope and John B. exchange looks before Pope continues, “this was never a problem for you before, JJ. Tell us, did something happen?”
“No.” JJ sighs,“I just want to talk with her about something, and… it’s bothering me, that’s all.” Kiara gets back and hands everyone their beers, she gives him a questioning look before sitting down again.
“Talk with whom? (Y/N)?” she asks then, and JJ nods, “so, what is it?”
“Nothing important.” everyone scoffs, “what?”
“If it is bothering you, it is important, idiot.” Kiara rolls her eyes. 
“Look, if you don’t want to tell us, that's okay, but for fucking sake, go talk with (Y/N).” John B. says, and Pope and Kiara agree with a nod of head.
“Okay, I’m going.” JJ says with a roll of his eyes, he takes one sip of his beer before setting it down on the table in front of him and finally gets up to talk with her.
His friends all make cheering noises, and he only gives them his middle finger and keeps on walking.
As he gets closer to the dance floor, though, he can feel his resolving weakening again, he can feel the bubbles of anxiety accumulating in his throat. He stops just at the end of the dance floor, a few steps of distance between them. It takes about five minutes for (Y/N) to notice him, she spins and stops when she registers it is him. Her smile grows bigger and even then, JJ can't avoid it but smile too.
She frowns, however, as she approaches him and swiftly places her arms on his shoulders, “Why are you standing there?”
“I was only watching you.” He shrugs.
“You're never one to just watch,” she says playfully.
JJ laughs, still timid but starting to enjoy being this close to her. 
“Is there something wrong?” She asks, usually she would already have greeted him with a kiss, but she is cautious now, and JJ knows she can read in his face that there is something he wants to say. 
“Nothing.” he smirks, “you're just too pretty tonight.” 
(Y/N) laughs, he can, she is going to let this one pass, and he is relieved. They slow dance for some minutes, totally ignoring the upbeat song playing, but soon enough as they drink more, they fall into the agitated rhythm of the others also on the dance floor.
JJ tries his best to forget what he wanted to say, tries to bury it and keep it quiet, he doesn't want to ruin any of this, doesn't want to risk it all. 
But (Y/N) feels it, the change in the air again, walks him to an empty spot close to the wall and stays holding his hand when she gives him a quick, but reassuring kiss on his lips.
“Did something happen?”
When he doesn't answer, she continues, “you know you can tell me.”
JJ can't look at her when he says it, it is pathetic, he knows, but he just can't.
He misunderstands, “J, you've been acting weird since you got here, haven't talked with me and not even looked at me properly, what's happening?”
At those words, JJ snaps his head back, “(Y/N)? You're  serious?” She nods,“I've been staring at you the whole night, I can't take my eyes off you.” He says then, refusing to be ashamed.
“So why don't you say anything? Why… Why are you different?” She walks closer and gives his hand a squeeze.
“I love you.” He blurts out. Never one to find the proper words or the right time.
(Y/N) takes a step back, but doesn't let go of his hand, “what?”
JJ clears his throat, there is no pointing in denying. “I love you, (Y/N).”
“Things are good, JJ.” she looks at him worriedly.
“I know, but-”
“We agreed on it, right? That it would be simple between us, no love, no dating, nothing of this girlfriend and boyfriend thing,” (Y/N) raises her eyebrows “we were fine with that, weren’t we?”
JJ feels the bubbles of anxiety starting to gather on his chest and throat again, “We… I was fine with it, I swear I was. But things changed, I don't know exactly when, I don't know how, but-” his voice cracks, betraying him, showing how much her reaction was affecting him.
(Y/N) takes a deep breath, calming herself, and JJ watches as her eyes wander his face, he wishes he could read her mind. “What changed?”
“I don't know. Maybe I did.”
She doesn't answer.
“Is it a bad thing?”
“JJ, I don't want to talk about love.” She replies, a whisper. “But it's not you, it's not you.”
He sighs, it's not conscious, but he distances himself, trying to hide somehow. There's no place for him to go, not when they are in the middle of a party, not when he just confessed his feelings while they are surrounded by people. JJ is trying to think of something to say, how to answer this, how to take it well.
But she searches him again, a step closer, a hand on his cheek, making him look at her again. 
“JJ, what makes you think you’re in love with me?” 
He knows where she wants to go with this, he knows, but he also knows what he truly feels, and it's not him rushing things or being confused. 
“Luke's party,” he says and her face changes, “it was the first time I ever felt… jealous.”
“Jealousy?” She asks, eyebrows raised.
“Let me explain,” he says, and she nods. “I was feeling… different for some days already, but it was the party that made me stop and ask myself what those feelings were.” He stops to breathe, he is happy that her hand is still cupping his cheek, or else he might stop talking with the look she had, “I was fine with it,  (Y/N), but it changed. These last few days, all I can think about is you. And I know I suck with words, but I am trying my best here.”
“You don't even know me.” He can tell it was not meant to sound harsh with the way she grimaces right after, but it hurts anyway, “I just… what I mean is, we don't even spend time together outside of this,” she gestures between the both of them with her chin, “what we have is different JJ, I know nothing about your friends, you know nothing of mine, we know nothing of each other.”
“What if I want to?”
She sighs, and he can see tears pooling in her eyes, it takes him by surprise.
“I told you I didn't want…” she trails off, shaking her head and retrieving her hand from his face.
Around them, a slow song started, the couples stared at each other with wide smiles and started to dance together. Fucking great timing.
JJ is frozen on his spot, he is trying his hardest to think of what to say, but she seems to always be quicker.
“I'm sorry, JJ, I really am. But I can't.”
“Why not?” He doesn't want to sound childish or insistent, but it just leaves his mouth.
(Y/N) closes her eyes with a deep breath, he wants to get closer again, hug her to try to calm her.
“We are good at this friends with benefits thing.”
“Why can't we be more?” He gulps, “I am confessing (Y/N), I am in love with you.”
“I know!” She gives an exasperated sigh, opening her eyes, the tears are still there, “I just don't know if I want more.”
He nods, “you are right, I am sorry. I shouldn't… I am sorry I insisted.”
“No, I…” (Y/N) frowns, “I-”
“No, you're right, you don't have to correspond with my feelings.”
“I'm just not ready, please don't be mad at me.” She knits her eyebrows together and for the first time seems to let her guard down.
“It's okay,” he says, trying his best to give her a reassuring smile, “really, (Y/N), it's okay.”
It feels awkward to stand there, he's not sure if he should try to comfort her some other way, if he should just leave. But he has so much to say yet, and she is looking at him like she also has. So he waits, he wants her to be the first.
“What if…” she breathes, “what if this is not love?”
“Why'd you say that?”
“Well,” she clears her throat, “it can be something else. We're young. And,” a dry chuckle leaves her lips, “there is so much, so many people to know, what if tomorrow you meet someone that makes you regret this?… I just want you to understand me.”
“I can wait,” he says then, surprising even himself.
“What?”
“You said you're not ready, I can wait.”
“I can't make you do that.”
“You're not making me,” he finally walks closer, finally takes her hand in his, “I want this.”
“What if it's not what you want?” She raises her chin, “and one day you wake up just to be bored? What if it doesn't excite you?”
JJ knits his eyebrows, “I really like what we have, I love it, and it is not… I don't want an exciting thing, not all the time at least.”
“And what do you want?” There is a hint of doubt there, and JJ hope grows.
“Something simple, something like what we already have.” He smiles, not quite sure of himself, but feeling better when she stays silent and lets him go on, “We chase our dreams at dawn, and it is our secret, that's what you always say.”
He manages to get a laugh from her and his chest erupts with happiness, a welcoming feeling that suppresses the anxiety in his chest.
“I just really want to call you mine.”
(Y/N) looks at him like she is about to break his heart, but he doesn't walk back, by God he'd let her, he'll let her.
“You don’t live with me JJ, you don’t know how I am. I don't think you would like me as your girlfriend.” She says then, and he can see she is trying to sound gentle. “We don’t even spend enough time together to be in an official relationship.” She stays in silence for a few seconds, as if thinking, JJ can't move away from her even if he tries.  “I am afraid I am not what you think, that you have a totally different idea of who I am for real.” her voice breaks in the last sentence, and her tears finally spill, JJ feels the lump growing back on his throat.
“I’m sorry, I truly am. ‘Cause I like you. But we are not meant to last, we chase our dreams in the dawn, we are always smiling, we are always having fun, we do things without worrying about the consequences until it's too late. We are good in bed and…” she takes her hands off his, “we are a teenage summer romance. We're not meant to last.”
They stay in silence again, JJ watches her, heart hurting, and still, so in love, somehow even more sure that this is indeed love. (Y/N) wipes her tears off and tries to give him a smile. He doesn't say anything, he knows she needs to go, he needs it too, to think, he knows the best thing to do now is to go home and sleep with these thoughts.
He only gives her a smile back, assuring her that he did understand.
She leaves.
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