#and you can't figure out how to get from stage three to stage five.

[neverendingford]

.

[ohworm-writes]

「✰」 ━━ CALL OF DUTY: MODERN WARFARE CHARACTER FAMILY OUTLINES

RATING PG-13 - Parents strongly cautioned [ Content warnings : references to sex, references to breeding kinks, heavy fluff, children, both pregnancy and adoption scenarios, toxic family relationship dynamics, minimal cursing, brief mention of Ghost and Farah's traumas, brief mention of transphobia and homophobia ]

SYNOPSIS In my opinion, what having a family with an assortment of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare characters would look like, be it how many kids they would have, their reasonings for having kids, their relationships with their kids, et cetera.

WORD COUNT 6.8k

CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE

Three sons and one daughter - ages ten, seven, five, and one

I'm certain we're all more than aware of this man's painfully obvious and present breeding kink, so it's no surprise to anyone that he would want to have a lot of children to call his own. He won't just be satisfied with one or two children - he's always wanted to have a full, bustling home, and he'll be damned if he doesn't try to make that a reality.

Every child of his is planned, both in pregnancy and adoption scenarios. He meticulously calculates and works to space each child out a certain range and number of years apart from one another in an effort to give himself extended experience with each developmental stage - or so he claims.

He wanted kids of his own, he decided, the second he met you, and he just hopes and prays that you'll be open to the concept of having quite a number of them. And, in his favor, you do and indulge him in his little fantasies.

And, in the ingenious words of @ghostlywhiskey , "i said that man has SWIMMERS AND THOSE MFS ARE PRICE BOYS". So, there's a very obvious patten that begins to form as more and more members are added to his little family. But, of course, there's one token daughter added into the mix, who he loves all the same as he does his boys.

In my eyes, the ideal father figure. He's extremely open and honest with his children, listens and talks with them whenever they have an issue or question, is very understanding and accepting overall, and, more than anything, works tirelessly to be a present, positive figure in their lives.

Because of all of the experience that he has with his own children, this results in the members of Task Force 141 and associated parties going to him for help or to have him answer questions they may have around their own children.

He tries to be as present of a father as he can be, given the challenges and distance that comes with his line of work, but always makes an effort, at the very least, call his kids whenever he can to ask about how they're doing, what they're up to, et cetera.

Refuses to talk about his job or entertain his children in the very idea of joining the military - the horrors he's seen is not in the slightest something he wants his children to witness for themselves. He knows the job best, and he will not allow any of his children to join.

Raises his sons right - they're respectful, mind their manners, don't start fights (but finish them, should the need arise) and instills all the necessary core morals and values they'll need to be good people when they grow up. All the same, he teaches his daughter not to take shit from anyone.

LIEUTENANT SIMON "GHOST" RILEY

Three daughters and one child (non-binary) - ages ten, six, three, and nine

Originally, he had never even spent a moment in time thinking about or entertaining the possibility of him having children, much less actively putting effort into reaching that goal. Especially when considering his own history, he can't even begin to see himself as a father, fearing he'll end up like his own.

So, when you get pregnant for the first time on complete accident/enthusiastically bring up the idea to him of adopting a child seemingly out of nowhere to him, he's completely shell-shocked. This is something he's ever put considerable thought into, and now it's being dropped into his lap without a moment to process it or breathe.

So, when he lays eyes on his first little girl for the first time, he's terrified. He's a dad now, whether he wants to or is ready for it or not. And no, it's not like he didn't tell you to get an abortion/refuse to sign the papers, but he isn't fully ready for such a heavy responsibility yet. But when he has her in his arms for the first time, he's done for.

After the first, he's so open and willing - and, quite frankly, pushing for - trying for/adopting another child. Yes, he was scared for his life to become a dad at first, but now that he's one now, he can't help but want another - and best you believe that his children are his absolute world.

Curse of the military. That's it, that's the tweet. He had all girls, plus, of course, his one gender non-conforming, non-binary kid, and all of them have equal ownership over his heart.

He's the perfect girl-dad, letting them do whatever they want with him - their own personal dress-up doll, if you will. Painting his nails, putting make-up on him, styling his hair, making him attend tea-parties and playing make-pretend. Whatever they want him to do, he does it.

When his second-oldest comes out to him (they came to him first before they did you), his heart absolutely melts. To know that his kid trusts him so wholeheartedly and isn't scared to share such a private thing with him lets him know just how good of a dad he is.

He's quick to use the right pronouns, allocates a separate room for them, helps them go shopping for clothes and items they may want, tests out new names for them should they want to, et cetera.

He's not at all a strict parent, as much as one might believe. He's stoic, cold, and cruel, sure - but that's to everyone but his family. For them? He's the biggest pushover in the world. If his children want anything, best believe he's doing everything in his power to fulfill their wishes.

SERGEANT JOHN "SOAP" MACTAVISH

One son and one daughter - ages four and five

He's always wanted children, that mindset and dream having been set long before he ever even joined the military in the first place. He used to take care of and watch his nieces, nephews, and younger cousins a lot when he was younger, so it eventually evolved into him wanting little rascals of his own as time went on - to be able to nurture, care for, and have fun with.

So, when the opportunity arises to actually start a family of his own, something that he's always dreamed of, he's so giddy. In complete honesty, he's practically beaming and bouncing on the balls of his feet, so willing and ready to make this into a reality. He has his own fears and anxieties, yes, but his excitement far outweighs it.

Both of his children are planned, of course, wanting them to be close in age as he can get them, and he's ecstatic that he gets to have both a boy and a girl. He gets the best of both worlds that way! And, when he finally gets to hold each in his arms for the first time, his heart shatters, melts, and crumbles in the best ways possible.

He isn't just a solider, a boyfriend, or a husband anymore - he's a dad now.

He's such a fun dad in general, always joking around with his kids, letting them - safely - do things that they aren't supposed to do, messing with them, taking them out for desert and sweets, et cetera.

But, as much as he's the "fun dad", that doesn't mean that he's any less strict. If his kids mess up or do something bad, he's often the one responsible for determining punishment, telling them off, and teaching them not to make the same mistake again.

His work is demanding, yes, and that often takes him away from you, his partner, and his kids for long periods of time, but he always comes back, ready to be a dad again and put "Soap" on the backburner.

The perfect role model for his kids, in all honesty - the best combination between a best friend and a parental figure. His kids tell him everything and they aren't scared of him to keep secrets from him, always telling him the truth without shame or hesitation.

SERGEANT KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK

One son and one daughter - ages seven

Both of children are twins

Having children wasn't something he had ever planned for, in his mind. Not to say that he never entertained the idea of having children of his own, nor is it to say something that he's against, either. He simply hadn't ever thought about making it a reality before.

But, when the opportunity to have/adopt children comes up into his life, it's welcomed, allowing himself to go with the flow of things and let them play out as is. He thinks about it a lot more now, daydreaming about what his child's personality will be like, what they'll look like, who they'll like more...

And then boom! Twins!

He's starstruck when he first gets the news that he'll be having/adopting twins. It's like a two-for-one deal, or so he says, genuinely shocked and excited at the same time. The way he sees it, his kids will always have a best friend (or, a partner-in-crime) and he's all for it.

Twins are a lot, he knows, but that doesn't mean he isn't up for the challenge. If anything, it only spurs him on to push to be the best dad he could ever possibly be.

For better or for worse, his kids adopt his sarcastic nature as their own and increase it by tenfold. It's his fault, given that whenever his kids are around, he's talking to them as if they'd understand his points and smart comments. They don't, most of the time, but they know their dad's tone, and they're quick to match it.

Takes the most time off out of anyone else in Task Force 141 to spend with his family if and when he can allocate it. He wants to be as present of a dad as possible, and if that means taking work home when he could easily finish it on base and then come home, maybe a day or two later, he's doing it.

Very adamant on having days out with his kids, be it for the purpose of a mental health day or just for fun. Takes them out to get breakfast and lunch, plus going to do another activity. Maybe the park, the playground, watch a movie at the cinema, go to the zoo/aquarium, et cetera.

He's not a super strict parent but that doesn't mean he isn't going to disciple his children if they misbehave or do something wrong. His punishments are lax, focused more towards talking out the issue that giving harsh lessons.

STATION CHIEF KATE LASWELL

One son - aged sixteen

She and her wife decided that they really wanted to have a kid of their own a few years into their marriage and, especially given that neither of them aren't getting any younger and didn't necessarily have the energy, time, or willingness to take on the challenge of pregnancy for themselves, they choose the more sensible option available and adopt.

It's a long, deliberate process that they have to go through in order to be so much as be approved for being able to adopt, but, once that hurdle is overcome, the two of them waste no time and immediately begin their search for the newest member of their own little family, allocating time to meticulously decide who they'll, inevitably, choose.

Their hearts end up settling on a little boy whose four years old, somehow resembling the both of them in different ways - be it personality wise or by appearance.

The two of them decide that they want to be able to escape and skip the issues that come packaged with newborns and toddlers, but also have a hand in the development process of their son, thus explaining the age they chose to adopt him at. This accomplishes both of these "goals" they have in mind, and it works out beautifully in their favor.

No matter their son's ethnic background, the two of them make a conscious effort to try and introduce practices, traditions, holidays, ideals, et cetera from their son's culture into their own as a means to keep him connected with his own past and history.

Although her job is connected with the military and does, to an extent, seperate her from her families for periods of time, that doesn't diminish the relationship she has with her son. He's fascinated with his mom's career, allowing for lengthy, in-depth discussion about what her job actually entails with him.

She and her wife are such good moms in general - always supporting him in everything he wants to do and encouraging him a thousand times over. There isn't a second in his life where he isn't being supported or loved, but it by his moms or the numerous different adult figures in his life.

Laswell gets in a fair bit of trouble with her wife for not disciplining her son in any way, shape, or form. She may have no issue with doing so with the military individuals she works with - she can be scary and intimidating when she wants to be - but with her son? She's absolutely a pushover.

Quits smoking the second she and her wife make plans towards actually adopting. It's a harsh line she draws, and one she abides by without hesitation or question.

VALERIA GARZA

None

Now, this isn't because I want to exclude her from this concept for any reasoning whatsoever, but rather because I can't really see her having or wanting any children in the first place. She's "El Sin Nombre", after all. And, in her defense, the cartel isn't necessarily the best enviroment for a child to grow up or develop in - surprising nobody.

She knows this fact better than anyone, and, having sworn her life to her role in Las Almas and the cartel, she chooses to not have any children. Additionally, she isn't going to be irresponsible and make herself vulnerable like that where, to have someone to love and care fore, only for the possibility of them being used as leverage against her later on hanging over her head, putting them in danger.

And, in any case, she has a breeding kink to make up for it, eh?

But, in all seriousness, as wonderful as I think she could possibly be with children in general, I doubt she plans on having or adopting children of her own unless she actually makes the move to leave the business of the cartel altogether - which, lets face it, with who she is and the role that she plays, is highly unlikely.

To make up for this, let's talk about her relationship with kids in general - be it the children of Las Almas and nieces and nephews that she has and interacts with.

She fits the "cool aunt" persona to a tee, always bringing gifts and/or cash to her younger family members, getting them whichever they desire, playing games with them, talking shit about people and listening to them vent, et cetera.

If the children have a problem with someone and, if aren't family, she has no issue doing something about it, be it using a scare tactic on them or completely removing the other person from the equation in more serious scenarios.

All the kids love her, no matter if they're family or if they know her or not. If she isn't busy and one of her men have a child of their own that they need to tend to while they're on the clock, she'll let the kid stay around in her office, so long as they don't disturb the peace.

VLADIMIR MAKAROV

One son and one daughter - ages eleven and five

Now, as cold, cruel, stoic, and heartless of a character that Makarov is, I personally believe that there would be select factors that would influence him to actually want children. Technical, albeit, and not for the sake of having someone to nurture and care for - at least, in the beginning - but I do believe that, for his own reasons, he would still want children as he progresses on later in his career and plans.

The only reason I could ever see for him to so much as bring up the concept of having children, in a way that makes sense when considering his character, would be due to the result of a close encounter that has him just barely scraping out of whatever altercation with his life to spare and hold onto.

He decides then and there that he wants to have a child - a son, specifically - who will be able to take his place and lead the groups that he controls and reigns over when he, inevitably, passes because, like he stated: "even I'm replaceable". It's a morbid phrase, yes, but it makes sense for him to have this be his reasoning.

He wants his replacement to be his own, too, and not for one of men to simply be promoted after he passes. After all, their ideologies, morals, and values could change over time and alter from his own, and he can't have that. However, if he were to have a child, he could foster and tailor their beliefs to match his own.

And besides, there's a certain charm that comes with saying his son is going to be the next in line. So, to his favor, he gets a first-born son, just as he had wished. His daughter, however, is completely accidental and unplanned/an abrupt decision when she is born/adopted. (In the context of pregnancy, though, its entirely his fault that she's conceived out of nowhere - wear protection, folks.)

For the longest time, his relationship with his son is, for lack of better wording, toxic - but this does change! If only with your intervention. All he wants in the beginning is for his son to be able to take over for him in the future - that being his sole purpose. And, unfortunately, he makes that a known fact.

Brings his son in with him to work on base often, working to teach and show to him the empire that he'll be taking over once his dad is gone. He gets a front-row view to the horrors his father is behind and in control of, be it the planning process for strategized and organized attacks, his cruel methods for dealing with traitors, and otherwise.

As much as he might, at heart, want to be a boy-dad, his relationship with his son is so strained and, frankly, falling apart, even if he refuses to acknowledge it, and so toxic in nature that it's only natural he becomes a girl-dad when his daughter is finally born. It's unfair, yes, but it's the truth of the matter.

He keeps his daughter far away from his work, shielding her completely from the badness of the world - the badness that he himself helps to create. She's his his pride and joy, and she's such a daddy's girl, leaving his son to fall to you, his other parental figure, for comfort and support - that of which his dad fails to provide.

COLONEL KÖNIG

Four daughters - ages two, three, seven, and fourteen

Interestingly enough, he's actually always quietly desired and yearned for a family of his own, though, he's never had any open discussions about it until it came to you. It's almost funny, the way that he's so awkward and tends to shy away from others any chance he's allowed to, and yet, he wants nothing more than a sizeable family for himself.

To have someone to fight for, to come back home to... it's all a soldier ever wants - himself included. And, for him, that includes a family that doesn't just consist of him and you (as content and happy as he is with it for now). The mere prospect of coming home to children of his own who can greet him and adore him is all he could ever ask for.

Though, even given this, he's especially nervous to actually become a father. He overthinks it a lot, wondering if his kids will even like him, going over the multitude of different ways that he could mess up even when he has no reason to. Because after his first, that fear melts away into enthusiasm.

Four children, especially when they're all girls, is a lot, yes, but he handles it with ease. He doesn't let the stress of it get to him, simply taking everything in stride and dealing with it rationally. He wants to preserve the positive relationship he has with his daughters, and approaching things from a logical standpoint is just the way to do it.

The true curse of the military - all girls, and so many of them, too. His younger children are all girly to an extent, too, so he's no stranger at a tea party and getting his make-up and nails done messily by his daughters. His oldest, although she may not be as girly, still has her moments, be it certain musicians maybe that she's forced her dad to listen to the entire discography of.

His girls love use him as a prop and character in their bouts of playing "make pretend". He's played a tree, standing still for them to climb all over, a dragon, protecting them from all of the bugs and critters that threatens to offend the, and even a race car, holding onto one or two of them as tight as he can and breaking into a sprint. It's strange and exhausting, sure, but he loves it.

Teaches his daughters to stick up for themselves - it's one of the first lessons he ever teaches them. Whether it be in terms of don't let people see you as a pushover, don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, or stick up for yourself by any means necessary, he instills those ideals into his kids. Teaches his eldest how to fight, too - per her request - as another measure and precaution.

Although being apart of KorTac and being a colonel in general keep him busy and occupied and away from his family, that doesn't stop him from trying his hardest to be with them. He sends each and every one of his daughters, with the inclusion of yourself, gifts he picks up while he's away that reminds him of you all, just as a means to remind you all that he's here and he loves you.

COMMANDER PHILLIP GRAVES

Two daughters and two children (transgender) - ages seventeen, six, and thirteen

Both of his trans children, female-to-male, are twins

In his daydreams, he's always imagined himself with a family of his own. A nuclear family, the American ideal - married with two and a half kids, a dog, a big house with a white-picket fence, a stable job. The whole lot. That's all he's ever had in mind for himself and he yearns to make it a reality.

So, when the topic of children come up after the married, dog, house, and job things are already figured out, he's eager to speak his mind and give his input on the matter. He's got the biggest, most lopsided grin spread out across his face when he lays eyes on his eldest daughter for the first time, and that only solidifies his dreams.

Though, ironically enough, he always had in his mind that he'd have more boys than girls. He loves his daughters wholeheartedly and without shame, mind you, but... still, the sentiment remains. He always imagined himself with one, maybe two or three boys - someone he could play catch or watch sports with.

He doesn't get that, until he does, and his twins come out to him (albeit, at separate ages) as trans ftm. Of course, the whole "trans" thing is new to him, and while he may be a little clueless, seeing how happy it makes the two of his kids is more than enough to convince him him to put in effort and be the most supportive dad he can be.

I don't want anyone coming to me saying "oh, he's transphobic" because no he's not. He may fit that all-American persona of his to a tee, but I refuse to say that he would go as far to be transphobic or homophobic, especially with his own children. (Also, I'm petty, so you get two of them).

He fights and works hard to be present in his children's lives. He may be the Commander and CEO of Shadow Company, but that doesn't mean his men can't function without him from time to time. His family means everything to him, all of his time off being spent towards treating them.

Not the parent who pushes for his children to each be involved in a million after-school activities, but encourages them to take up something. His oldest plays volleyball, his second-oldest plays baseball, his second-youngest plays the drums, and his youngest dances. Takes them all to practice and helps them however he can.

Genuinely just copy and paste Jeff Sadecki from Yellowjackets and that's him as a parent. Except... with less of the drama. He's dedicated to being involved in his children's lives, making memories and having fun with them, telling horrible dad jokes from time to time, and whatever else.

SERGEANT MAJOR RODOLFO "RUDY" PARRA

One child (agender) - aged sixteen

He never actually planned on or anticipated becoming a father in the first place, more focused on dedicating his efforts towards his career and not spending more than a passing thought on creating a family. Not to say that he doesn't want one, it's just a concept he hasn't spent too much time thinking about or worrying over.

So, this means that you have to be the one to bring it up to him. And, granted, it somewhat catches him off guard - you want to try for a baby/consider adoption with him? Since when? It throws him off, to be honest, and he genuinely has to take some time to reflect and decide if this is actually something that he wants.

And, in your favor, it is.

He's somewhat nonchalant about the whole thing, not really realizing how big of an event it is until you're close to the due date/you're approved for adoption. And then it hits him full force that, yeah - sooner than later, he's actually going to become a dad and deal with the responsibilities of one and have a child of his own.

It's humbling, funnily enough, and he revaluates his priorities when it comes to his career, you, and child-to-be.

Even though he never anticipated or saw himself as someone who could accurately fill the role of a father, he's a good one. More akin to a close friend at times whereas others he can more accurately be described as a mentor, but it's important for fathers to share both of those factors, in a way. Which he absolutely does.

His child comes out to him before they reach double-digits, and its another moment that he has to pause for. Of course he's going to love them unconditionally, no matter if they identify as something else or go by different pronouns or want to use a different name, it's simply something he hadn't expected.

Doesn't really at all punish his child if they do something wrong. He'll have a conversation with them, sure, but it never truly extends to anything beyond that. Simply a "hey, don't do that again, okay?" and moving on with life. All that matters is that they understand and acknowledge their faults, in his eyes.

Involves himself in whatever his child is interested in and tries to understand it as best he can. They have a sport they're really into? He's buying them merch and watching matches or games with them. They're really into a certain video game? Start up a new save file, he'd love to play. Genuinely super supportive.

Does not at all plan on having another child. He's content with the one and, quite frankly, even one can be a lot at times. He can't count how many times he's had to go to those parent support groups just to ensure he's being as good of a dad as he can be.

COLONEL ALEJANDRO VARGAS

Four sons and one daughter - ages twelve, eleven, nine, and eight

His oldest sons are twins

The absolute definition of a family man. He, somewhat akin to Price, always imagined himself with a family of his own later down the line in his life - a large, lively one, too. He grew up in a larger household himself with a number of brothers and sisters, both younger and older, and he always imagined the same for his future family.

He's so enthusiastic about it, too. He isn't scared or worried at all, confident in his own abilities to take care of children, given his own extended experience, so he has little to no fear in what he'll be like as a parent or his own capabilities. He knows what he'll need to do, how to do it, what to buy, what to say, et cetera, so he's confident.

He doesn't really have a plan for what their ages will be, more so allowing everything to flow naturally, but he can't deny the fact that he has his own picture in mind for what he wants his family to look like. Ironically, he always imagined himself with more girls than boys, but it seems like life had... a different plan for him.

He loves it, though. He's extremely good with newborns and toddlers especially, and when he laid eyes on his twins for the first time, holding both of them to him, it was over. Plain and simple. With the first step taken, he can now fully immerse himself in being a father and cultivating the lives of his children, and that's all he could ask for.

His boys are rowdy. Especially his oldest twins and his youngest son, his eleven-year-old acting much tamer and calmer in comparison, but still has his moments. They roughhouse with one another, mess with each other, talk shit - the whole lot. Typical sibling behavior, yes, but they had so much energy.

Takes a lot of time off to be with his family when he can spare it. If he isn't physically out for an operation and instead is at the Los Vaqueros base, he sometimes will bring one or two of his children to stay in his office while he works. That is, if he doesn't up and leave to go home the second the opportunity arises.

Defiantly the one responsible for disciplining his children and dishing out punishment. It's not to say that he's cruel or mean in any sense, but he can be strict. If they do something wrong, he's quick to decide on a punishment that appropriate and relevant, dedicated to correcting that behavior as swiftly as possible.

He's an absolute pushover with his daughter, though. Not to say that he doesn't love his boys, because he does, but he'd do anything for her. Tea parties? Dress up? Make believe? You name it, no matter how embarrassing or emasculating it may be, and he's doing it if his little girl asks.

Messes around with his boys a lot. He has a positive relationship with all of them, one that's open and honest, which leaves room for him to be able to roughhouse and taunt and poke fun at them from time to time. They might have to be smart with their own words and responses, but he's making smartass, cheeky remarks whenever he can with a grin.

OPERATION OFFICER ALEX KEELER

One daughter - aged eleven

He's thought about having children before, yes, but never in a realistic context. For him, in the past, it's always been more of a "let me imagine a scenario of how myself and a future family would look" but never actively taking strides or realistically think about how he would achieve that.

So, when you bring the topic up to him, he kind of stills and... actually thinks about it. There's a difference between putting yourself in a scenario and imagining it, and actually taking steps to make it into a reality. He sort of panics, too, because... would he actually make a good dad?

He's the most apprehensive and anxious person out of anyone when it comes to considering the path of parenthood. Of course, he agrees, more than willing to try for a baby/go through the adoption process with you, but he's endlessly terrified of messing things up.

Even when he actually gets to meet and hold his daughter for the first time - he's a man who has no shame in crying, because he absolutely does when he sees her - that paranoia remains. But even so, it solidifies his goal to become the best father he can be for his little girl.

So clueless at first at how to even approach fatherhood, purchasing so many parents books and listening to an abundance of podcasts and going to classes and everything of the like. He's confident in most aspects, sure, but parenthood is something he's never dealt with in the past - it's no surprise he wants to do everything in his power to be the best dad he can be.

As anxious as he is, though, he, in my opinion, is probably the best father he could possibly ever dream to be. He's attentive to his daughter's wants and needs, can gauge her emotions correctly and acts accordingly, is responsible in terms of taking precautions to keep her safe, and he's present as much as he can be.

Number one cheerleader in everything she does. Whether it be getting a passing grade or an outstanding one on a test, he's hyping her up. If she joins and becomes a part of a particular activity of interest, he's taking her out to a celebratory dinner. All words of encouragement and praise from him.

Is a very active an present parent, too. Takes her out on little father-daughter days whenever he can to wherever she wants to go. The mall to look at the one obscure candle store? Sure, he's down. The zoo to go make up conversations between the animals. Absolutely. He loves hanging out with her, and seeing the way she lights up whenever he offers to take her out is all he could ever dream of.

COMMANDER FARAH AHMED KARIM

Two sons and one daughter - ages seven, four, and eight months

In the beginning, actually, she was very opposed to the concept of having/adopting children. Given her involvement with the ULF and that the current climate in Urzikstan was far from safe to raise any child in, she had no reason to even entertain the thought. Especially considering her own past, she was against it.

For a while, most conversations of having or starting a family were shut down by her - she yearned for it in the back of her mind, sure, but it wasn't a realistic goal. That was until she and Samara had a conversation about the topic, Samara telling her that while, yes, there were dangers to it, there's nothing more fulfilling than family.

So, after long deliberations, she began to consider it more heavily, leading to discussions where she finally agreed. She has her own reservations, fears, and anxieties about it, yes, but considering all the work she's done, she's allowed to have this. To have a child or children, to make her own family that loves her unconditionally.

She keeps her family completely separate and distanced from her work. As much as she's passionate about what she does, there's that lingering fear in the back of her mind that, one day, her family could get hurt or even possibly used against her as leverage if they're discovered. So, there's a clean separation between the two.

But it's all worth it when she meets her first born son for the first time. She's playing such important roles in her life - the Commander of the ULF, a resistance fighter, someone associated with Task Force 141, and one of the few key figures tasked with liberating her country in its entirety. But, now, she's more than that. She's a mom.

Even though she's never had children of her own before, she handles motherhood like a seasoned professional. Even before her other two children, she never got too overwhelmed with the work and responsibilities that come with being a parent, handling everything with a level head and a calm voice, turning out in her favor.

Though, she's somewhat a bit stricter with her children - not in the sense of being overbearing and not trusting them, or even that she has high expectations and standards for them. Rather, she wants to ensure the safety of her children and that their childhoods never turn out like her own, so she takes extra precautions.

She doesn't actually send her children to school, rather taking time to teach them herself - with your aid, of course. It's partially for those same reasons of fear and wanting to protect her children, but she's actually really good at it. She's taught her children how to write, how to read, how to speak two different languages... it's a way that shows how invested she is in her family.

As serious as she can be with her work, she's much more laid back and relaxed when it comes to her family - just another perk and upside, she supposes. With all the stresses she deals with, being able to come home to her sons and daughter, being overwhelmed with love - it's rewarding in a way she's never experienced before.

NIKOLAI

Two daughters - ages eight and three

He's always imagined himself with children, in complete honesty, even when he was younger - to have maybe one to three of his own. To your luck, he's open about it too, so he's actually the one to bring up the idea to you in the beginning, having no shame whatsoever in his willingness to try for/adopt a child... or two or three.

He isn't scared to become a parent, per se, nor does he have many anxieties or worries about becoming one, but there is still that subtle worry in the back of his mind that he won't be the most fit parent.

Everyone jokes about how he can be reckless and unethical, and he enjoys the banter, but it does make him self-conscious and second guess his own ability to be an adequate father.

He doesn't really consider or worry about what ages his children are, simply allowing things to fall into place naturally, as they should. He may have imagined himself with children in his own daydreams, sure, but there was never any clear specifics for age or gender he had in mind.

But once he actually gets to meet his daughters for the first time, those worries fade away partially - they still linger, yes, but for the most part he lets them simmer on the backburner, not allowing them to interfere with him as he directs his focus away from worrying and more towards becoming the father his girls deserve.

His daughters are just as much of a menace as he is. Maybe not in the "I deal with sketchy people on a daily basis and have done some questionable things" kind of way, but they have their own mischievous streaks like their father. Be it orchestrating pranks or smaller acts of the like, sometimes they even outshine the father.

He's playful by nature, yes, and he is with his girls, but you'll also never meet a more protective parent than him. He may be sly and smug and appear all cool and collected outwardly, but when it comes to his daughters, he's doing everything in his power to protect them from anything, be it people... or ants.

Likes to be his daughters' own personal jungle gym, letting the two of them hold onto him and climb all over him without a care in the world. Additionally, that means he makes for the perfect mode of transport for them, too - having them cling onto him as he walks around, moving them from one place to the other.

He can act like a child in his own right, but he's still a good father nonetheless. In line with that protective nature, he does everything he can to both foster a positive relationship and set rules and boundaries. Bed times, chores, punishments, et cetera - he's in charge of those things, and, while he isn't strict, he's responsible.

[theesirenteller]

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐫

ＷＡＲＮＩＮＧ ! ! DO NOT READ WHAT'S STATED BELOW IF YOU"RE TRIGGED ➷ ➷

【 This chapter contains Gun Violence, Abuse both psychological & physical】

Chapter Five; 𝕴𝖓𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 | Masterlist

"We have a problem."

"We? No, you have a problem."

"Oh no, we have a problem."

"And how does my cousin banging some stripper affect me?" Nick questioned with a chastising grin. 

Over the last month, Christopher and Epiphany had been more friendly in the public eye. It didn't take a genius to figure out they were seeing one another or at least messing around. Annie had yet to tell Beth about Epiphany's casual bragging about her and Christopher's sex life. Despite Beth being her older sister, Annie didn't want to be seen as a rat or lose someone she had considered a friend. She liked having Epiphany as a friend and didn't want her relationship spilling into her sisterhood. On the flip side, Beth took notice of just about everything Rio did. He wasn't one to be flashy or make a scene. His behavior over the course of the three years she'd known him was either consistent or spontaneous. Nowadays he'd drop by the club more often and never on the days when Epiphany wasn't working. Drop and pick-up days were whenever Epiphany worked. The two would share smiles at one another from across the room. He would stay to watch her perform solos on stage and then they'd share a drink at the bar. Or Beth would see him leave and then Epiphany would leave right after. If not that, it was the shared touches. His hand would pat her back on his way out or if he was close enough, Epiphany would kiss him on the cheek.

And Beth loathed it all.

Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer was something that Nick learned and lived by. After Beth had set him up to be locked up and he'd gotten her back 'where it hurts' things were back to 'normal'. Well, as normal as he and his brother wanted things to be. The blonde councilwoman at her beck and call, open to being bent in whichever direction they could push her in. The brothers were still playing the long game with her. Beth was the perfect spokesperson to appeal to rich, white, privileged investors in across states better than Nick could. And when things go to shit, Beth is set to have a hard time. Both Rio and Nick would be sure of it.

"It affects you because it affects me," she hissed, "I'm not close to him like that and I doubt you two are close after…last year's events." A teasing glint in her eye and a smug smirk laid across her thin lips as she saw Nick's smile slowly diminish. "Anyway," She started off with a higher pitched voice and chirpy tone, "Your cousin, brother, whatever is involved with the Japanese. I don't know what the details are but I want in. "

"You want a percentage of that deal." Nick clarified while he relaxed back in his office seat, "How do you know he's even in business with them?"

"He moved eight SUV trucks filled with Japanese yen through my strip club and my second dealership." She informed before shrugging her shoulders with a subtle hair flip, "We're partners, it's only fair that I'm cut in."

Nick looked at her with amusement in his eyes. He was amused but still impressed with how far she had come. She was more like him than she could ever admit, if not worse, "Right," he replied casually with a slight nod."I can't be involved, that'd be a conflict of interest-" 

He was quickly cut off by Beth, "How? This affects you because then we have nothing to pin on him with the feds!"

"It's personal. I don't know how close they are or how he feels about this chick. So either one of us removing her without motive causes unnecessary heat. You can't just kill her because he'd banging her," Nick replied with a raised voice and sharp tone. He didn't miss the way her eyes widened, or how she gulped and clenched her jaw. Her discomfort was loud without words needing to be said,  "You're gonna have to create a shadow. Set her up in some way, get photos, and then you get rid of her. That'll be your reason and he'll have to understand because it's just business. Take a page out of his book." he advised.

Beth quickly grabbed her designer tote bag and stood up, "Well thank you, councilman, I heard you loud and clear." and with her passive-aggressive statement she spun on her heel and strutted out of his office.

"Happy to help, Councilwoman!"Nick ridiculed behind her with a chuckle just before the door shut.

When she arrived at her home, Beth had done exactly like she was told but not without adding her own details. Beth had a four-bedroom, two-bathroom luxurious home in a more upscale area of the suburbs of Detroit. She lived in luxury now with her new position and she enjoyed the space that was solely hers. Seeing her children every other weekend was good enough for her, nowadays. Her old life felt like another world but she couldn't deny that she didn't miss it. She was powerful now. She was somebody who people either loved or feared. She felt invincible. "Annie, could you come down here for a second?!" 

"What's up?" the short-haired dirty blonde questioned a few minutes later. 

"Hey, do you think you could set up lunch between your little stripper friend and me?" Beth asked, " I'm thinking that Ruby and you need to be there as well."

"Yeah sure, but uh what for?" Annie replied as she raised her bushy eyebrows.

"Just lunch," her voice softened as her eyes lowered to a more 'saddened' look, "I have to talk to her about Rio. He's dangerous and I don't want her ending up like Lucy," she sighed with faux-sorrow.

"Or is it that you're jealous." Annie smirked and wiggled her brows. 

"Oh please, Annie," Beth rolled her eyes, " I am not jealous of some bimbo stripper hooking up with him. Believe me, she's keeping him out of my hair."

"Mhmm, whatever you say," Annie teased with a sing-a-song tone, "But yeah I'll set it up."

And she did just that. Annie had set up a lunch date the following weekend with Epiphany at Tony's diner. Saturday afternoon to be exact. Epiphany had gotten ready at Christopher's apartment. It'd become a routine for the pair to hook up in the middle of the day instead of grabbing lunch. Sometimes, a quick lunch date was after an hour of indulging in each other's bodies. As usual, Christopher had left first then thirty minutes later, Epiphany had left. 

She had gotten into an Uber and two of Christopher's henchmen weren't far behind. They tailed behind unbeknownst to her, all the way to the diner. As soon as she walked in and the suburban mothers spotted her, almost immediately judgment flashed across their eyes. Their eyes ranked her attire thaat consisted of; A short green-camo mini skirt with green sequin scattered across it,  a tight-fitted white cropped camisole that read 'AS IF' in big bold gold letters, a dark green jean bolero jacket, and knee–high heeled boots hugged her thighs.

"Oh hell no…"Ruby scoffed. 

"Geez, you can take the girl outta of the strip-club but can't take the club out of the girl,"Beth added.

"Wow…uh…that's a lot for lunch," Annie cringed and bit at her lip.

Epiphany raised her left eyebrow as she looked at the three women before her eyes narrowed in on Annie, "I thought you said we were having brunch. As just the two of us."She proceeds to take a seat in the booth seat across from the trio. Her arms soon folded under her ample breasts as an expression remained unmoved.

"I know and I'm sorry I didn't clarify there would be more than just the two of us but-" Annie was cut off by Epiphany in the midst of trying to apologize and explain herself.

"But, you wanted to ambush me." Epiphany stated in a matter-of-fact tone, straightening her shoulders back as she sat up straighter,

"We're not here to fire you," Ruby stated.

"No. Not at all!" Annie protested.

"Look, we're just here to talk to you," Beth sighed, "To warn you."

"Oh? About what? Is the club shutting down?" Epiphany questioned them, her eyes moving across the three women back and forth until they settled in on Beth.

"Look Epiphany, I know we haven't exactly seen eye to eye-" Beth attempted to reason but was cut off.

"We haven't?" Epiphany mocked with a higher pitch to her voice and a slight head tilt, "...Why would you think that?"

"Well we haven't had a full conversation over a cup of cof-" Beth giggled before she was cut off once again.

"And who's fault would that be? I've never thought we had beef. In fact," Epiphany licked across her bottom lip as her eyes swept up and down the Detroit council woman's face, "I don't think of you at all."

A look of bewilderment washed over the three women's faces. The nostrils of Beth's nose flared and her peach lipstick-covered lips curled. Before anyone could utter a word, the waitress came trotting over, "What will y'all be having?" she asked with an impatient tone.

"Well, all have Cobb salads." Beth ordered for everyone but Epiphany quickly jumped in after to switch her order, "I'll just take a black coffee."

"Look here, we're trying to warn you that you're getting involved with a very dangerous man." Beth hissed before rambling on, "You don't know the vile, horrible things he's done to people. Like our friend Lucy, he seduced her with his kindness only to kill her when she was no longer of use to him. And me, he's used sex and exploration to control my every move. It took me outsmarting him many times to get out of being murdered by him."

"And he kidnapped me!" Annie was quick to mention.

Epiphany's lips stretched at the sides into a tight smile before she started to laugh. her laugh came off as a subtle and serene giggle, "Who are you even talking about? Who is he?"

"Oh for the love god, the gang leader that's going to pound town on you!!" Ruby sighed in annoyance.

"Rio."

"Gangfriend!"

Annie and Beth both said different names at once. That was when Epiphany knew it was time to go. She had heard enough. "Sounds like you ladies have got whoever's fucking me mixed up with whatever you've got going on." She said as she stood up from her seat, "If the person you know is so horrible, why not get restraining orders? and dip out? Or I don't know…get rid of the person?" Epiphany suggested as she got out of the booth. She then proceeded to turn around and start heading out of the diner.

"Girls a lost cause." Ruby sighed.

" Good riddance." Beth scoffed.

"What do you think we should do now?' Annie asked as they watched Epiphany walk down the street from the window. 

"Plan B," Beth smirked before pulling out her phone.

Their words didn't fall on deaf ears. Epiphany thought of what they had said throughout her day on campus. She sat through her lecture in airplane mode. Denting her pen with bite marks she stared aimlessly out the fourth-floor window. These claims…these accusations…they sounded familiar. Eerily familiar. 

'Watch yourself'

'Cassius did a number on his last girl, Está locõ. Un Díablo.' 

'Do you even know what his family does to people? You don't wanna marry into that.'

The images of Cassius's brown skin covered in black and blue reddened flesh from fingernails that broke his skin. The screams and cries of men being burned alive, of it replayed in her mind. Or how the boys who spared her glance and shot her a smile at The Kitty Box ended up disappearing left & right.  'Was Chris similar? Or was he worse?' Epiphany wondered to herself throughout the day.  Why was it that she attracted dangerous men? And why did she find such jovial comfort in that? A sense of security and importance. After all, it's what she always dreamed of. She dreamed of having the life of women like Elvira Hancock, Carmela Soprano, and of course, Ginger McKenna. 

The remainder of her time in lectures blew by in the blink of an eye. Since she couldn't be bothered to pay attention in class, Epiphany decided to settle herself in a cafe on campus with a series of notes that she brought from one of her classmates.

"Hmph…I always thought you only looked best on your back but this is a slightly nicer view."

Cassius. Surely, Epiphany must've been hearing things. She didn't dare peel her eyes away from the notes that laid against the table. Her mouth grew dry. Then her palms grew sweaty. The underneath of her breasts began to moisten. Only hot air escaped her lips as she breathed outwards. He wasn't here. He couldn't be here. But he was here. In Detroit. In a cafe on the campus where she attended. And he sat right across from her. His sandy-brown-tanned hand reached over and laid upon hers. Epiphany let out a choked moan of pain, of agony. It felt as though he had burned her with a hot iron. His skin was always hot. Very hot as if he had a furnace built within his body. As she snatched her hand away, Epiphany's eyes finally settled on him. He looked exactly the same as the day she left him. Shiny bald head, Smooth, poreless brown skin, and a full, thick goatee that nearly covered his lips. He was dressed like a reaper, in all black from his leather parka-jacket to his Timberland boots.

"What the fuck are you doing here." Epiphany had finally gotten the courage to say, with her shoulders back and a sharpness to her tone, "Better yet, who told you I was here? My mother?" 

To this, Cassius scoffed, "A whore like that doesn't care for her child overnight, don't flatter yourself." He then folded his large hands together on the table. The diamonds within his chunky rings reflected off of the silverware on the table, "You called me."

"And why would I do that?" She questioned with a tilt of her head slightly to the side, her eyes nor her face gave away that she was shocked. Epiphany sat there with a stoic expression. Never would she have called him. She left Las Vegas behind and everyone in it for a reason. To be normal. As normal as a girl with a not-so-stellar past could be. But, she was only twenty-three and tried to remind herself that life was only just starting. Her childhood felt like adulthood but this era of her was her freedom. 

"Because you need me. You said it over the phone. You said what I already know. You can't live without me, you and I both know you can not function in a civilized world without being taken care of. Look at your job now, A whore on a pole." He tsked and shook his head. Cassius as always thought so low of women. Especially those who worked in the sex work or entertainment industry. Yet he and his family endorsed it all. They funded all if not the majority of the clubs in Dubai and Los Vegas. Or at least that's what he and her mother told her. 

And his words angered her. It made her blood boil and her skin crawl. Her teeth dug into the meaty flesh of her bottom lip as she stared across the table at him. Her mouth was no longer dry as she collected spit from the sides of her mouth before she hawked spit in his eye, "Hijo de puta! Even with all the money in the world, you're still a useless trick with nothing to offer but your money. You're lower than a whore."

Cassius's ears grew reddened as the corners of his jaw tightened in. His bushy brows started to narrow in as he got up at the same time she had. Only, he flipped over the cafe table causing a squad of campus security to bum rush into the spot. The man began cursing in Arabic as he lunged for her but Epiphany was quicker than him. She ran behind security and they tackled him to the floor. Her day had gone from annoying to bad. How did he find her? He said he had spoken to her and that she discussed needing him. These were the questions that plagued her mind as she was placed in the counselor's office alongside the police. She filled out various forms before the restraining order was put in. 

None of the day's events made sense. Beth, Annie, and their friend had no business 'warning' her about Christopher or as they called him, Rio. Rio had no knowledge of her and Epiphany wasn't important enough for his enemies to track down her ex to 'take her back'; Somehow, she felt like Beth was involved. Why, other than petty jealousy? Epiphany had no clue. It all overwhelmed her. The web of backstabbing, sex, personal gain, and who knew what else. Everything that transpired within the last three hours had caused Epiphany to form a severe headache along with body pain. Stress started to take a toll on her body. And after questioning and fillings were done, she was driven to her apartment and taken upstairs by police.

The moment that she got inside, she flopped herself across the couch; and let her mind go numb.

The scent of sewer water, shit, along with the feeling of a warm hand against her cheek had awoken Epiphany from her deep slumber. Her groggy eyes slowly opened and as her vision became clear, Christopher stood in front of her. She was seated on a wonky metal chair in an underground area that looked like a sewer storage locker. Epiphany, winced at the sight of her new setting and instantly latched her hands onto his forearms and stood up on her feet, "Chris? Chris what's going on?" she whimpered in fear.

His usually big brown eyes were dark. And the subtle smirk on his lips made her grow weary with fear. This was the first time she felt truly intimidated by him. His stature; The way he towered over her five foot two frame with his six foot one. Tears started to form at the corners of her eyes as her chest began to rise and fall quickly, "P-please..please don't hurt me." she begged. Not him. Anyone but him. He was the only aspect of her life that made her feel alive. His gentleness, The romance he brought to her life in such a short amount of time was overwhelming and she feared that ending more than her own death.

"Shh, relax. I'm not gonna hurt you, baby," his tone was mellow as he raised his left hand and laid it against the sides of her face. Christopher dipped his head down, his narrow nose brushing along her button one. His fingers gently caressed the side of her chubby cheek and side of her jaw, "But you tryna hurt me." his once gentle tone darkened, lowering to a baritone octave that sent chills down her spin. Before Epiphany could protest, she felt the coolness of metal riding up the middle of her breasts. His signature golden Glock kissed her bare skin, firmly pressed to the side of her temple. This caused a sequel to escape her lips and before she could utter any type of rebuttal, he hushed her with his lips placed on hers. The kiss was gentle, sweet, and slow. His right arm wrapped around her waist.

Epiphany didn't know whether to grasp him closer or fight him off. But what she could feel was his heart pounding like a punch against hers.

It all felt so surreal. Like a nightmare and wet dream all at once. Gentleness mixed in with the threat of violence. All she could feel was fear and confusion. Epiphany's body trembled against his. And she knew he felt. He had to have felt her. Her fear, her anxiety, her heart.

"Why do I got the feeling that…you're gonna be the bullet that puts a hole in my head, hm?" he hummed against her mouth with the slickness of a snake. He moved the barrel of the gun from her temple to his when he mentioned 'hole in my head' before laying back to her temple. Her tears sprinkled onto his cheek, "Did you get enough info on me to run it back to those bitches?"

"Wha-? You think I'm Beth's rat?"

Her pushing up into a frowning pout as she looked directly into his eyes. Her eyes of uncertainty changed to a look of disbelief, "Why?"

"I could ask you the same thing. That little lunch date looked real interesting,". Christopher hissed and with each movement his lips made, she could feel the brush against her mouth.

"Oh, Rio it was." she rolled her r's when she seethed his name, "Annie set me up with Beth to warn me about you."

He stood still and the menacing look he once possessed of narrowed eyes, a tightly clenched jaw, and striking eye contact had slowly begun to relax. The crease between his brows slowly smoothed out. His eyes flicked back and forth between looking at her and looking above her head. Christopher was debating. Not only with her but with himself. "And what did she say?" She, Beth. He didn't care for what the other two stiffs spoke about because it usually was a rehearsal of what she said.

"The short version? You're a fucking serial killer who uses sex and manipulation to exploit and get what you want, the long version? a lot of secrets were spilled out in the open." Epiphany replied, she spoke through her nose with a slight whisper to her voice.

An ounce of a smirk peeled on the right corner of his lips as he rolled the gun along the side of her neck. He didn't confirm or deny but he coyly asked, "What you think about that mama?"

"I'm thinking what the fuck does that have to do with me and you and why you have a gun to my head?!" she cried out, anger laced in her outburst. Her hands shook at her sides as she didn't push him away due to the gun. The fear of it going off in her face or throat was far greater than her anger. "I'm not involved!" she protested.

"Oh no, see you've been involved sweetheart." Christopher argued, "It's just a matter of whose side you're on."

Fool him once, shame on them. Fool him twice, shame on him….there wouldn't be a third time. Christopher was no fool and the moment the Boland woman walked into his life was when he realized he'd gotten a big…soft. And Epiphany just seemed eerily close to business for his liking. He needed undying loyalty, control, and if she was truly for him then he needed her in line. Love could come later…after sacrifice.

"Unless…" Christopher began to chuckle but the sound wasn't from happiness, "Unless you don't wanna be involved then you can leave right now." he took a few steps away from her and aimed the gun at the dark, wet hallway to the left.

Epiphany's eyebrows knitted together as she looked up at him in confusion. His play on words and attitude switch was causing gears to twist and bend in her mind. They spent every day together. If not day then night. Leave where?

Blinking rapidly as she stood there. She didn't move. She only stared at him. "What do you mean? " she questioned before licking at her lips, "Wi-...will I see you later?" uncertainty in her voice. And his smile made her stomach twist and turn, "You do mean I don't have to be involved with the club right or with whatever shit you've got going on with those women…right?"

She needed clarification and he gave her none of that. "Nah darlin, I'm afraid this is the end of line for us. You're off the hook." He dismissed her casually. His tone is deep and delicate. It was almost like a goodbye kiss. But he never moved, his eyes still settled in on her like a lion waiting to be challenged. Which let Epiphany know he wasn't done.

"No."

"No?" He challenged with a slight head tilt as his eyes looked her over.

Despie how fearful, how anxious she felt, Epiphany still chose to stand her ground and challenge him, "The moment I turn around you'll put a bullet to my head. Because you don't believe I'm not involved con esa perra concejal" (with that bitch councilwoman)

Sassily, she crossed her arms against her chest and cocked her hip slightly to the side as she stared at him. "Even if you don't kill me-"

"How bout you kill for me?" He proposed.

Epiphany's eyes widened as Christopher stalked towards her. "Come on champ." His hand latched to the back of her neck, forcefully making her walk in front of him down the dark tunnel. She followed him with stumbling feet and squinted her eyes in an attempt to see where they were going.

And then Christopher began to whistle and a light turned on in one of the rooms. Epiphany was led into that room and came face to face with Cassius. He'd been hung upside down with his hands and feet taped up. His left eye was swollen shut, shaded in dark plum purple and blue. His right eye was completely gorged out, by the looks of it…he'd been burned. "Actually, I shouldn't have said to kill for me. It's for you, a gift." he chuckled, "I thought the unmarked SUV was the fed tailing you but turns out it's this sorry looking Hijo de puta."

Epiphany cried as she looked at her ex-lover in horror. Sure, he was fucking vile. And everyone eventually would die. But, she couldn't take a life. "Chris, no. Please no, I can't." She weeped.

Christopher tilted his head back and inhaled deeply before he slowly straightened up and eyed her, "You will." he swiveled the gun around his finger and then offered it towards her. "He's your problem and you gotta get rid of em'. "

"You think he's gonna let you go? A girl like you…" his eyes trailed her body from top to bottom in admiration with a sinister smirk, "Ain't easy to let go."

"Someone will come looking for him!" She protested, "He's well connected in Vegas, his parents own everything."

"He ain't shit but a bootleg con artist. A janky ass car salesman at best." Christopher revealed with a dismissive tone. He then grasped her jaw in his hand with a gentle touch. Once Epiphany looked in his eyes, he leaned his head down and whispered "Do it. You don't gotta worry bout nothing else, I'll handle it. I take care of what's mine." His tone was reassuring.

"And I'm yours?" She sniffled with a flustered, wet face.

"Only if you wanna be." He rasped as he laid the gun firmly in her hand.

Breathing in deeply, She held it with two hands. Christopher switched from being beside her to standing behind her. His hands laid over hers as he steadied her arms up. His feet nudged her legs open and pushed one of her feet forward.

"Come on mamitá, show me how much you want this." She could feel his warm breath in her ear, a gentle caress of his nose nudging at the side of her earlobe. "Make me proud."

Her head hurts so bad, her chest aches as the vile metallic taste jumbles up in the back of her mouth. Christopher, Rio was all that they said he was but worse. But, she wanted him. She wanted him to stay. She wanted him to keep making her feel seen, wanted, cared for, and maybe even loved. Cassius was right. She couldn't function in a world without being taken care of. Not because she lacked the skill set or had any type of disability holding her back. No, it was because she didn't want to. Her hands gripped the base of the gun. Its heavyweight in her small hands felt as though she was holding someone's heart in her hands. And in a way she was. She was holding someone's lifeline.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Polly Jolly Christmas but as a Sanders Sides AU

Logan is an architect, Janus is a lawyer, and Roman is an up and coming singer/songwriter.

By some chance of fate, all three of them end up in the same small town to visit their girlfriends for the holidays. The same small town where a new hotel is meant to be going in, possibly threatening the income of one of the five or six bed and breakfasts already there.

Logan is confronted by his girlfriend upon arrival because his plans were apparently being used for the hotel, the "How could you do this to me?" lecture ensues and Logan can't get a word in edgewise to explain that the plans in question were stolen months ago, that she knew some of his plans were stolen, he told her about that. He tries to take her hand as she turns around and slaps him across the face.

Janus arrives and is immediately torn into by his fiance because another lawyer at the firm he works for is representing the Evil Hotel Guys, and it doesn't matter how much he tries to explain he didn't know about it, it's not his case, why would he? It doesn't matter that he tries to offer to represent her and her cause, she still throws the ring at him and storms off, leaving him speechless.

Roman has been planning this for a few months. He was going to surprise his girlfriend by being one of the performers at the Christmas and pulling her up on stage and proposing. But part of it being a surprise meant being a little cagey about the details of his holiday plans, though he did at least promise he would absolutely see her Christmas day. He arrives in town a few days before Christmas to get everything in order for The Big Day, and despite his best efforts of remaining incognito, is seen by his girlfriend's high school sweetheart, who is somehow convinced that he's here with the Evil Hotel Guys and tell her so. The girlfriend literally hunts Roman down to confront him about it, Roman ends up having to tell her about his plans to surprise her to convince her he's not part of any marketing scheme to get everyone to want a new hotel. This somehow still makes her angry, and she tears him a new one for making the proposal all about him, and goes off about how unsupportive he's been, and decides that's a good time to announce she's been writing her own music too, that she was planning on performing at the Christmas Parade, but couldn't because some arrogant no-name was coming into town and turned out to just be him. Roman is shocked and tries to tell that of course he'd back out for her, that he would have helped her if he'd just known, if she just told him. She declares he should have Just Known. Roman quietly leaves without telling anyone to give her the chance to Save The Day by being the last minute fill-in. Sure it might ruin his reputation there, but at least she'll be happy. He leaves a recording of the song he wrote for her behind and immediately hawks the ring he'd bought to cover his cost of now wasted travels.

Janus and Logan meet first in the lobby of Bed and Breafast Number Four. Logan is on the phone, trying to figure out how he can get his stolen plans back, frustrated and nearing tears, visibly bruised from being stuck. He hangs up, ready to break down when Janus apologizes for eavesdropping, but he's a lawyer and maybe he could help. Logan explains the situation and Janus is immediately pulling up his laptop to get things going. Logan tries to tell him, it's fine, it's Christmas, he's sure Janus plans. Janus laughs bitterly and explains that no, he doesn't, and briefly explains the fued with his ex-fiancee.

That's when Roman stumbles in, visibly upset, and obviously trying not to breakdown, asking about availability. He's informed that they're booked full due to the concernt happening at the Parade and Roman musters up a smile, and says something about a friend of his performing there, before walking away. He collapses into a chair near where Logan and Janus have been chatting and takes out his phone to figure something out, before just giving up, burying his face in his hands.

Logan is the one who tentatively breaches the heavy silence, offering Roman the extra bed in his room. Roman appreciatively accepts, stating he's hoping to get out of tomorrow, and explains the concert debacle. Janus offers his sympathies, explaining his fiance had just broken up with him because of his job, and Logan laughs bitterly chiming in with his own breakup story. They get to chatting and it turns out that not only were all their partners from the same town, but it turns out so are they. Janus has the idea to just rent a car and they can all just leave town together. They're all headed toward the same place anyway, and the cost of canceled plan tickets is well worth not having to stay in a place where they're all miserable. They all agree and head off.

They're only on the road for a few hours when Roman gets a call, from his now ex demanding to know where he is, what he was thinking leaving town like that, he has an obligation to fulfill. Roman explains as calmly as he can that he left so he wouldn't be overshadowing her anymore, citing what she had told him during their Big Argument. Janus pulls over when Roman finally says that maybe she's better off without him, that he hopes she's happy with High-school Sweetheart and that all her dreams come true and ends the call. Janus holds his hand while he cries and Logan scoots to the middle and puts a hand on his shoulder.

They make it back without further incident. Janus and Logan keep in better contact as Janus is helping him with the stolen plans debacle. Both do try to keep in touch with Roman, though it's a bit hard to do with how much he withdrew after everything happened. And it's not really till a few months later when Janus and Logan meet up at a bar to celebrate getting Logan's plans back that they actually see Roman again. They track him down after his set on stage and invite him out to get food with them, but it's late and a lot of places are shutting down soon, so Logan suggest they grab food and take it back to his place. They all end up chatting till early in the morning and at that point Logan insists the other two just stay the night, citing his concern for their safety driving with such little sleep.

Janus and Roman wake the next morning only to overhear Logan on the phone, locked in conversation that was quickly devolving into an argument. Janus catches on that it has to do with the stolen plans and immediately is checking on things to make sure that they, indeed, get everything settled and Logan walks in a few minutes later, visibly upset and offering breakfast. Janus is at his side in an instant, asking to know what was wrong, and who was asking about the plans.

Logan explains that it was his ex, that she just found out the hotel isn't being built because it came out the plans were indeed stolen, and that she was trying to apologize and, essentially, get back together. Logan had turned her down and was just glad he could hang up and not have to worry about being slapped again. Before Janus can even fully react Roman has Logan in his arms and Logan finally breaks down for the first time since everything started. Janus stands close by, rubbing Logan's back, trying to offer at least a little comfort. Once Logan has calmed, Janus suggests going to breakfast together, his treat.

Breakfast together on Sunday morning becomes A Thing for the trio and the next thing they know they're planning Christmas together. Janus offers to host and when he greets Roman and Logan at the door with a kiss each, they all realize how much sense it makes, none of them can quite say when their friendship turned into something a little more, but now that they're here, they could see that it had indeed, become something more romantic. And that it simply made sense, it felt right, the three of them together. They spend the evening exchanging quick pecks on the cheek and playfully shouldering each other out of the way or bumping hips while cleaning up after dinner and finally huddled in a tangled mess of limbs on the couch watching the faux fire place. Quiet "I love you"s are finally exchanged, though at that point it was already known and didn't really need saying. But it felt good, felt right to say it. They stayed together that night and began making plans to spend every night together.

[ohanny]

change host club show

part 3/3

part 1

part 2

sailub as the dj

sailub got his start as a club dj with benz’s mother and even though his popularity exploded, he has stayed loyal. while he he has a contract with a record label and does the occasional tour and festival gig, in bangkok he performs exclusively at her clubs. in order to create hype for the relaunch, benz decides to bring sailub in. sadly sailub does not think benz the estranged son deserves any kind of family discount so after their appearance fee negotiations, benz has to go cry in the bathroom for a bit. while sailub used to be a big party boy back in the day, he took it a bit too far and is now totally sober but as anyone who has been to nightclubs totally sober knows, it can be a pain in the ass which makes him slightly grumpy.

pon as the new kid

pon is already a bit of an influencer. while stuck at home during the pandemic he started doing product review videos on tiktok and sort of blew up but he's not in lockdown anymore and he feels like he's going nowhere. he misses people. he wants the attention in person. so when he sees the flyer for an open audition at the host club, he figures he could try it out. it seems like easy enough of a gig and his most watched videos are kpop dance covers so he shows up, shakes some ass and flirts a bit. then he almost screws it all up by throwing a tantrum when a sceptical benz asks for his birth certificate because no way he is 29. luckily a bit of diva just makes benz go “oh, you'll fit right in” and “how do you feel about fire?” because, as mentioned, benz has a vision and it might involve flaming whips.  

lee as the jack of all trades

lee showed up to install the security cameras and sort of… never left. he does anything and everything from watching the cameras to barbacking to entertaining guests. he is absolutely the biggest gossip in the place and plays both sides by snitching to benz and then relaying everything benz says to babe. you simply can't tell him anything unless you want everyone to know it but, like, not in a malicious way. he's just a chronic yapper. they love him for it. currently interning under pop who has a vision of his own that revolves around putting lee in a dress.

bonus:

nut: i think garfield is trying to find a sugar daddy

benz: sounds fake. that would take an actual effort.

nut: he asked two of my friends about how much money they make and if they're allergic to cats.

benz: …

garfield: well, i don't want to work forever

nut: girl, you barely work, period

garfield: if i have to leave my bed and put some pants on, it counts as work

the story of how lee became a star goes a little like this: pon is warming up to go do his dance performance but twists his ankle five minutes before call time and it's a disaster. the house is packed, topten is home with the flu and someone needs to step up. lee basically jumps up and down going “me, me, me!” and, literally out of options, benz says “you know what? fuck it. go for it.” no one knows quite what to expect but after a mad scramble to steal booty shorts from pon and butcher one of garfield’s fur coats, lee gags everyone with a drag race finale worthy lipsync performance of lisa’s money. the second he exits the stage pop is on him, asking him if he can do the same in heels.

mistress poppy’s shot special: she will put a sugarcane straw in your mouth and tell you to hold it between your teeth. then she will bend you over and spank your ass. if the straw remains uncracked, you get your free shot. initially benz was horrified by this because free booze? in this economy? not very capitalism, not mindful at all. but then pop demonstrated his ass slapping skills on benz and he quickly changed his mind. (he also didn’t sit down for three days but that's neither here nor there.)

for charlie’s 21st birthday, babe climbed on the bartop and went full coyote ugly, doing unspeakable things with a soda gun. it was the first and last time he performed like that. michael almost killed him for defiling his bar.

benz would actually pay onlyoneof to come do libido instead of stealing the choreo. no shade.

[mysteroads]

Excerpt from All Fun and Games

“Don't stay up late!” Shouta warned loudly. “It's a school night.”

The League paused at the stairs and turned, all of them with expressions innocent as angels and honest as politicians. 

“Yes Eraserdaddy!” the whole group chorused— with the exception of the three kids, Kurogiri, and Shigaraki. Even Midoriya was in on it, obviously torn between hilarity and terror as he stuttered on the last two syllables.

Shouta flushed as the whole room erupted into giggles and whispered versions of: "I can't believe they did it!", turning to find half the class was filming. Apparently, he was the victim of a conspiracy. He eyed them balefully, thinking dark thoughts about pop quizzes and revenge.

Meanwhile, Toga threw her arms around Kurogiri, assuring him loudly that he was still the League's “shadow dad” and not to be jealous. The ghostly man sighed, patting her on the head, but didn’t look displeased. 

Spinner socked Shigaraki in the arm that wasn't holding Kana. “You were supposed to say it too!” he scolded. “You chicken!”

Shigaraki stepped out of range with a sneer. “I don’t need or want another father figure, thanks, and I'm not about to call Aizawa daddy in public.” He paused, then hummed thoughtfully. “Could be negotiated for in private, though.”

Dead silence.

In that silence, Shigaraki took Aisho's hand again and led her to the stairs. “Now then, since I missed this afternoon's debriefing, why don't you tell me what Kurogiri taught you in preschool today?”

Aisho bounced onto her toes with excitement, holding tight to his hand as they maneuvered up the steps. “Oh! Today, Eri and Hōō started learning how to sound out big words! And Kana and I learned more about shapes!”

“Shapes, huh? What's your favorite? I've always liked triangles best. Sharp angles. Good for stabbing.”

Their voices faded, leaving the common area to its awkward silence. Silence broken by a high pitched, wheezing squeak, like a dying balloon about to give up the ghost. All eyes turned to Dabi, who was bent over, hands braced on his knees, the undamaged part of his face bright red as he fought for air. Magne thumped him between the shoulder blades, which was enough to let him suck in a desperate breath and start cackling.

That set off the rest of the League, except for Kurogiri, who looked instead like he was going through all five stages of grief at once. 

Hōō, secure in Hawk's arms, looked around and, with the unerring ability of a child to ask the questions adults dread most, asked, “Does Mr. Shiggy want to call Mr. Zawa daddy? ‘Cause Mr. Zawa is Aisha and Kana’s daddy, not Mr. Shiggy’s.”

The League howled.

Dabi went straight to the floor, followed by Spinner. Toga was practically dancing as she squealed, “Oh my gosh! I’ve never ever ever heard Tomu-chan flirt before! He goes right for the kill!”

This time the students couldn't keep quiet. 

Within seconds, the entire Bakusquad was curled in various positions on and off the furniture, clutching their middles, tears streaming down their faces as they laughed and laughed. Bakugo had turned his back, but Shouta could see his face reflected in a window: his eyes and cheeks were bulging in an effort not to laugh. Uraraka had choked on her own spit and was torn between coughing and laughing; Momo’s blush had spread down her neck like a sunburn; and Asui had covered her face, shoulders shaking. Todoroki seemed completely lost. Ida, scandalized, was waving his arm at everyone, trying to get them to “Settle down, now! This is obviously an adult matter! It’s almost curfew! We should all go to bed!”

Shouta’s attention, however, was on Shinso. His son was laser-focused on his phone, Eri peering intently over his shoulder. 

“Shinso,” he growled.

Hitoshi looked up, lazy purple eyes wide in an attempt at innocence. “Yeah, Dad?”

“You had better not be sending that video to Hizashi or Nem, or I swear, I’ll hang you upside down from a tree for the rest of the night.”

“I’m definitely not doing that,” Hitoshi promised.

Eri frowned. “But… you’re on the family chat,” she protested.

Hitoshi cleared his throat. “What I meant was: I may have already done that.”

Right on cue, Shouta’s phone began to buzz with incoming messages. He’d give it fifteen minutes before the entire UA staff saw the video in all its horror.

Face burning, he unwound his capture scarf and activated his quirk. He would not suffer alone. 

The students and former villains who could still move scattered, heartlessly abandoning their incapacitated comrades to face the wrath of an embarrassed Eraserhead.

[fcble]

THE PROBLEM WITH FABLE is a video essay uploaded to YouTube on November 19, 2023. Despite being the channel’s only video, it was quickly picked up by the recommendation algorithm and gained nearly half a million views in its first week. The half-hour video examines and critiques Fable’s concept. Sentiments in the comment section were almost evenly split between agreeing with the video’s premise, and 2000-word essays about how it's wrong. Three days after the video was uploaded, the comment section was disabled.

CHAPTERS AND SELECTED EXCERPTS

THESIS STATEMENT [00:37 - 1:04] … The problem with Fable has always existed. It’s built into their concept—the very foundation of any group. A single concept doesn’t have to be a bad thing, if a group can properly execute and then push the boundaries and truly explore their concept. Fable does none of that. They get on stage in their hanboks only to perform pop song 8265734—now with gayageum.

THE ONLY GOOD PARTS (WHEN THE QUALITY IS BAD?) [03:42 - 6:29] … Before we get further into the bad, there are two—and only two—parts of their Korean concept that make sense. First, Korea has become such a large part of their image that all of their endorsements and brand deals are with South Korean companies. Hell will freeze over before a single Fable member represents a Western brand or product. Second, their dedication to Korean song titles is unmatched. In a surprising power move, Zenith Entertainment usually refuses to provide English translations.

PROBLEM #1 [6:30 - 15:44] … The greatest problem with Fable's concept is their inconsistency. It's been five years and they can't make up their minds about what they want to represent. They cherry pick what they want to represent. An instrument here or an outfit there. Slap a traditionally significant symbol—tiger, magpie, persimmon—on the album cover and call it a day.

For Fable, Korea exists in a bubble, which is obviously not the case, eschewing centuries of cultural mingling throughout East Asia. Their album titles are sajaseongeo—four character idioms—with roots in Chinese chengyu and similar to Japanese yojijukugo. Far from unique. For another example, Confucianism plays a major role not in their music, but in their variety shows and other content. As the state religion and governing philosophy throughout the Joseon dynasty, it was obviously highly influential on traditional Korean culture and eventually Fable. But in their promotion of the ideology, they miss out on swaths of history. While Confucianism’s five constant relationships permeated every social class, philosophy and learning were restricted to the upper class yangban. Which of course, Fable loves to represent themselves as. They’re always kings and noblemen and scholars—without a single mention of the common people. 

Aside from ignoring social class, they also ignore half the population—women. It was, for lack of a better word, shitty to be a woman in Confucian society, and it continues to be shitty to be a woman in a society still strongly influenced by Confucian values. And yet Fable glorifies this past, where women were subservient to fathers and husbands and sons and not much more than property. To make matters worse, they do this all in front of an audience of teenage girls and young women. It’s doubtful that the people in charge of Fable’s creative direction and marketing have ever felt the touch of a woman.

PROBLEM #2 [15:45 - 22:39] … While Fable hasn’t figured out what they’re representing, they’ve certainly figured out who’s doing the representing. The treatment of their two diaspora members—gyopo, dongpo, whatever term you want to use—stands out from the treatment of the rest of the group. Andrew has expressed his frustration with not being able to participate in the group’s music as much as he wants to. And then there’s Mingeun. It’s impossible to talk about Fable without talking about Mingeun’s scandal at the peak of their career, when it was revealed that he had pretended to be a South Korean national for two years. That supposed secret alone should make it obvious that when it comes to the two of them, something is different. It speaks volumes about their goals as a group—fully Korean, for Korea, to the point where even diasporan Koreans don’t belong.

In an ironic twist, their refusal to entertain anyone other than “pure” Koreans becomes even more representative of contemporary Korean society. As the nation’s economy becomes increasingly more globalized, its social attitudes still remain firmly in the past. In Fable’s single-minded focus on Korean history, they continue to perpetrate such ideas. While one kpop group is not going to solve racism in South Korea—an issue deeply entrenched in their hermit kingdom past and the years under Japanese occupation—it becomes hypocritical for them to work so hard to export their culture while being intolerant of others.

CULTURAL REPRESENTATIVES [22:40 - 27:03] … No exploration of Fable’s concept and marketing would be complete without a mention of their nickname. In 2021, they became known as the “cultural representatives of kpop” by netizens. They've seemingly embraced the nickname since, if the way they've never switched up their concept is any indication. Which begs the question: why are they so intent on this direction? Kpop—with its idol culture inspired by Japan’s idol industry and the very industry inspired by the American one—is distinctly un-Korean. Kpop is instead a hybridization of cultures, with musical genres invented by Black Americans and its commodification of art invented by American capitalists. If Fable is really so intent on representing traditional Korean culture, then where’s the pansori song or sijo lyrics? Being the nugu face of the tourism industry—next to much bigger groups like BTS and Blackpink—is not enough. They need to do something other than appear in a Korean Air commercial and gush about how nice Jeju Island is at this time of the year.

SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON [27:04 - 29:12] … The inconsistency and hypocrisy of Fable’s concept does more harm than good. They promote a glorified version of history completely inaccurate to the actual past to impressionable young people and kpop stans incapable of thinking for themselves.

If you enjoyed this video and want to see more, make sure to like, comment, and subscribe.

[coldercreation]

brb about to go down a research rabbit hole lol

Question of the day!

Why is showing ‘disinterest’ such prevalent thing when it comes to building friendships and relationships?

I have talked about this here before in my rants lol, but it just always frustrates me. Like, you know those arbitrary ‘rules’ in dating that you shouldn’t show too much interest or get in touch too soon, or be too ‘intense’ or interested? Like, obviously don’t be a stalker and read the room etc, but I mean if you're just a regular and safe 'well-adjusted' person, why is you showing genuine effort and interest seen as a bad thing (I don't mean love bombing, that's a whole different thing)? If you genuinely like each other, why is the social rule saying that you shouldn’t show that? Same goes with friendships, why is showing interest in the person you want to get to know sometimes, somehow, a bad thing? To a point that some people can get put off by that effort someone is showing to get to know them? Not saying everyone is like this, because I know there are so many people who aren’t. And plenty people also disregard these social rules because they aren’t actually concrete rules. 

This is just a social construct and I’m trying to figure out why it is, because it seems counter productive? By what logic does it work? How are you supposed to make friends/date, if them showing interest in you makes you exit the relationship/ghost/breadcrumb?

How long are we supposed to only talk in one line texts about surface level stuff, to avoid being too much/too intense, before it’s acceptable? How do you know you’re following the same social timelines with the people you’re trying to get close to, when there’s no actual set rules? Someone might think you have to wait three days after a date to get in touch, but someone else will get offended if you take longer than two. But the next day or the same day is too desperate to some folk? And I'm talking about this from the point of view of someone who doesn't have trouble reading social cues/expectations. Can't even imagine dealing with this mess if that wasn't the case. Like what's the point of having these 'rules' if it just makes things more difficult for everyone? :')

These rules, technically, don't need to exist at all. It's all made up, based on... Something? We can always dismiss them ourselves but I'd like to know why they came to be and why we keep upholding them. I want to know the social purpose y'know? Is it a safety thing? Protecting yourself and not wanting to be vulnerable? That'd be valid, of course. But it does seem self sabotaging as it blocks people from actually making the connections they say they want to have?

I’ve been trying to find any research on the social behaviour regarding this, but I’m not sure what to even look up lol. Especially because I think the way we interact and behave has changed so much just in the last five years even. 

I just find it so curious that there’s so many headlines about loneliness epidemic, but people also recoil away from others when someone does show them genuine interest and wants to talk to them.   

I’ve had this initial ‘disinterest’ stage happen in the friendship context more. Also sudden, out of nowhere, communication ending/ghosting disinterest when trying to make friends (like please hurt my heart some more I beg u lmao). I haven’t really dated in the last few years so I don’t personally know how that field is at the moment, but I know ghosting is really common and people actively try to hold back from showing interest at first, even if they are reallyreally interested.

Maybe I’ll try looking more into the effects on social media etc, there’s a lot about ghosting in that context. But I just feel like it’s not quite what I mean, because I feel this disinterest phenomenon thing is separate from ghosting. 

Anyway! Happy Sunday loll xx

[jeanie-g]

#52 trevjamie

as has been the case, my actual #52 left me with 0 inspiration, so i did 5+2 instead! and i'm actually in love w this au now?? enjoy!

[#7] Crescendolls (Daft Punk)

Hey, everybody y'all!

Trevor gets such a rush out of performing live. There's really nothing like it. He always has nerves—how can't you?—but the second his finger plucks a buzzing guitar string or he sends out that first shaky note into the microphone, it all falls away—every single time.

Their first song in a set is always more of a warm-up, a sound check disguised as a jam sesh cover, with squealing guitars and minimal vocals. It gives them their stage legs, making sure they're all on the same time and in the same key. They're never guaranteed a sound check; the venue has a lot of bands slated and only so much time. And after starting the set once with their most popular single and completing whiffing it because they couldn't hear each other, they figured coming out the gate with a softball was best.

It wasn't often that you heard an acoustic cover of a Daft Punk song, much less 'Crescendolls,' but Quinn came up with a killer arrangement on an off-day last year, and it's kicked off half their sets ever since. Sometimes he even adds the backing track of 'Television Rules the Nation' to pander to the maybe five people in the venue who recognize the mashup from Alive 2007.

It's repetitive, which helps with any last-minute tuning, and allows for improvisation, Alex letting rip a guitar solo more often than not, flirting with a key change before bringing it back. It grows in intensity, too, revving up the crowd with its catchy hook and occasional shouts, throwing the whole room into the music and setting the tone for the rest of their set.

Trevor loves playing 'Crescendolls,' so when three months after they debuted it at Battle of the Bands, another band started playing it, he was more than a little heated. They all were.

One of their groupies who Jack is trying (and failing) to sleep with let them know, hearing it though the grapevine at first and then seeing it himself when the band in question opened for an act downtown. Trevor remembered their name, The Grits—even heard them play a few times during battles—but they flew pretty low under the radar.

Now, Jack paces their dressing room forty-five minutes before they're set to open the night's battle. He just heard from the venue's manager that The Grits are slotted to play right after them, and the first song on their setlist? 'Crescendolls'.

"I mean, who do they think they are? That's your fucking arrangement!"

Quinn sighs from his spot on the bean bag. "It's not our song, Jack. Plus, they added keys."

Jack throws his hands up. "I don't give a shit if they added keys. It's still your fucking arrangement." He takes a hit from his pen and exhales the mist through his nose. Trevor's tried telling him it's not a good look to have your lead singer filling his lungs with chemicals, but he never listens.

"We can't exactly go out and sue 'em," Trevor says, picking his cuticles.

Jack takes another drag. "I'd say we could take one of theirs, but I don't think stealing their rock version of 'Barbie Girl' would really teach them a lesson." Jack laughs mirthlessly, and it turns into a cough, which isn't concerning, like, at all. "I mean, what are they even doing playing French house?"

"Trying to ride our coattails, that's what," Luke says, finally choosing to join the conversation. Up until now he was just sulking in the corner.

"You could ask the same about us," Quinn says, and Jack rounds on him.

"Q, whose side are you even on?"

Quinn just shrugs noncommittally, though Trevor clocks his teeth hooking onto his bottom lip for a second before retreating.

"Jacky, arguing about it isn't gonna get us anywhere," Trevor says. "Let's just nix 'Crescendolls' and go with '3s and 7s.'"

"No. No way. They go on after us. We're gonna play it and they'll be the ones who'll have to adjust their set." Jack runs a hand through his hair. He'll need to hit it with the hairspray again if he wants to impress Nico.

Jack's tone is finalizing enough that everyone nods their heads and doesn't say anything else. When Alex comes back from the bathroom, he looks at the three of them and chuckles.

"What, did a bomb go off?"

Luke laughs into his hand. "One just might."

They stick to their guns, though. As advertised, they start the show with 'Crescendolls,' Jack even ad-libbing some totally non-confrontational lyrics and punctuating them with the 'Look out!'

It brings the house down, as always, and from there Quinn pounds his snare and throws them into 'Drive By,' a semi-new but already cemented fan favorite Luke penned a year ago.

After that is Quinn's hearty rock ballad, 'Dignity,' which gives him a nice, long drum solo, and '7 Below,' a total riot Trevor and Alex worked on for months that lets Luke break out his fancy stylophone.

As a new addition to their set, they blend Jack's own 'Androgynous Animal' into Radiohead's 'Burn the Witch,' both allowing him to show off his seldom-heard higher register.

They close it out with Weezer's 'Buddy Holly,' an absolute blast that started as a joke in practice but ended up becoming kind of a tradition. The crowd loves it, too, singing along with Jack and losing their minds when Trevor flips his guitar to play the iconic riff on his back.

Energy's as high as the ceiling by the time they strike their last chord. It was a great set, even by their standards. Quinn even leaves his drum kit to toss a stick into the crowd; Trevor laughs as some girls (and a couple guys) go diving for it.

Trevor's so happy he completely forgets what band is supposed to follow them. Until he's exiting his dressing room fifteen minutes later to grab a water and he hears the opening bass line of 'Crescendolls.'

He stops in his tracks. "No fucking way."

Jack perks up from the couch behind him, phone glued to his hand. "What?"

"Listen," Trevor says, working to keep his voice level. He opens the door wider.

Jack strains his ear, and then his eyes grow. "Those fuckers."

The two of them rush towards the wings, dodging roadies carrying equipment and people in black whisper-yelling into their headsets. They make it to curtain-side right before the first chorus, and Trevor has half a mind to march right onto the stage and send his foot straight through their kick drum.

He does have some self-restraint, though, so he just crosses his arms and watches in disgust as these fucking no-names take their fucking arrangement, and—

The chorus hits, and the keys come in, and Trevor's eyebrows shoot up. The bass line remains steady, but one of the guitars go up an octave, and then a synth board comes in, and—

It's really fucking good. They're playing their arrangement, yes, but they're adding layers to it. It's electric.

As they play, Trevor can feel his anger dissipate, and he has to forcibly remind himself, They still stole our song and played it right after us. They did that on purpose.

'Crescendolls' eventually ends, but neither Trevor nor Jack move an inch when their drummer transitions right into their next song, which is either a cover he doesn't recognize or an original. Their lead starts singing for real, and she sounds, well, really fucking good, too. She kinda reminds Trevor of Courtney Love, which is an insane comparison to just throw around.

Once that song ends, their bassist commandeers the microphone to introduce their next song, an original he just wrote. He's on the taller side, with terrible posture and dark, shaggy hair falling just above his shoulders. He's kicking one beat-up checkered Van against the other, and Trevor snorts—he can only see his back and he's a textbook bassist. Luke would agree.

Once he's said his little speech, he does turn around, though, and Trevor's breath catches in his throat. Fuck, he's hot. His bass hangs low on his torso, a gorgeous Fender American Pro, but it's nothing compared to his face. Big, bushy eyebrows above grey-blue eyes that pierce. And, oh God, he has freckles. His white teeth shine as he smiles wide, turning his head to fiddle with his ear piece. When he turns back, he catches Trevor's stare.

And. He. Winks.

Trevor feels the blood rush to his cheeks, but he can't make himself look away. Hottie doesn't seem bothered, though, just turns back around to the audience and strikes up a riff low and syrupy, dripping with this sexy timbre Trevor usually reserves for the Arctic Monkeys.

Trevor can't help it; his eyes are on Hottie for the rest of their set. By the end of the final song, he's nearly forgotten why he was standing there in the first place. He gets reminded when the members start peeling off the stage into the wings and Jack elbows him in the side, nodding towards them.

But before Trevor can even blink, Jack storms up to their keyboardist, jabbing a finger in his chest. He's got curly hair and glasses and maybe four whole inches on him. And Trevor thinks that maybe starting something right here might not be the best idea.

"Dude, what the fuck?" the guy starts, but Jack's already in his face.

"You took our fucking song!"

Trevor rushes to his side. "Jack, wait—"

The guy looks between the two of them. "What? What are you—"

"He's taking about 'Crescendolls', Scotty," a voice sounds from behind, and both Trevor and Jack whip around to see Hottie.

He looks blasé and unaffected, almost like he was expecting confrontation.

Jack rounds on him instead. "You stole my brother's arrangement, asshole, and then had the nerve to play it right after us!"

Hottie smiles. "Well, only half of that is true. We did play it after you guys, but we didn't steal it." He tilts his head to the side, a piece of hair swinging onto his forehead. "He really didn't tell you?"

Jack doesn't sway, though now Trevor's quirking an eyebrow.

"Quinn gave it to us."

There's two whole seconds of silence before Jack blows up.

"He wouldn't do that, you dick! Not without telling us!"

Hottie shrugs. "Then maybe you should have a talk with your drummer."

Jack's eyebrows set low on his forehead, which Trevor knows from experience means he's about to throw a punch, so he grabs Jack's arm and yanks him out of the wings before they get banned.

"He's fucking lying," Jack seethes. "Q wouldn't."

And Trevor agrees, but he thinks back to that conversation in the dressing room, to the way Quinn's expression flickered when pressed, and he gets a bad feeling.

"We'll go talk to him, Jacky. I'm sure it was a misunderstanding."

Jack nods quickly, and they set off to find Quinn. Even if it's true, Trevor is less angry than he thought he'd be. Sure, it was a dick move to give up their song and not tell them (even if whatever reason Quinn had was somehow warranted), but the only thing on Trevor's mind right now is Hottie. His eyes, his smile, his voice. And his playing, too, if Trevor had to grade his performance. Don't tell Luke, but Trevor secretly thinks all bass players are inherently hot.

And if it's true, he can't really blame The Grits, can he? It was Quinn's arrangement, and if he gave them the go ahead, how were they supposed to know it was faux pas for them to actually play it?

Trevor can't help but hope they go on for an encore and play the blasted song a second time, just so he has a reason to come back out and watch. Maybe Hottie will wink at him again.

Maybe Trevor will actually learn his name.

[answersfromzestual]

how would you say your specific pain as well as what you may have heard from others and how much you felt you needed pain medicine, I am an addict and am trying to figure out if I can get phallo without narcotics

One day at a time ❤️

I understand your fears quite well. I did have an issue with substances during the first phase of phalloplasty even.

So let me be completely honest, you deserve that.

My specific pain was slightly different with each procedure. But the extreme pain usually did not last more than three to five days after being released from the clinic.

So during the first stage I remember the first just under a week being quite painful, more so after moving, walking to the bathroom, defecating (pooping), moving your lower abdomen can also cause you to feel sore after.

I needed to use the medication. But it was 4 or 5 days of extreme pain and discomfort. Even then, when you are lying still, it can be more of an ache and not pain.

The catheter is annoying because of the bladder spasms, but I didn't take anything more than regular extra strength tylenol for that.

I found that the actual pain did not last as long as I expected it to (as I said 5 days), it does depend how active you are as well as you are healing.

So I can't tell you for sure that they would let you have a more holistic approach.

You need to be able to take away the pain, without being able to be relaxed it will take your body longer to heal and can even cause complications that lead to a revision or infection.

The hospitals (at least here) tend to over medicate you. But you can ask for perhaps a lower risk medication.

After every surgery you will most likely require an injection(s) of medication to control your pain when you fully become awake and aware.

Usually you pay for medication as part of the cost of the procedure, most of these are soft tissue relaxers, antibiotics, maybe some stuff to help your constipation, things not at risk of abuse because they have no psychoactive (intoxicating) properties.

I don't know much about alternatives to these (pain) medications, if I find some out, I'll let you know. I would love to know as well.

I believe it would be helpful to have someone there for the first few days regardless to make sure you are able to get up for any reason you don't fall, to make sure you are okay, to help you make food, to help you move and lift things. After your procedures the first about three days for me I couldn't leave my bed (after the first procedure I still had to get up to go to the washroom, the second and third I had a catheter. This can be uncomfortable because of bladder spasms. That's kind of where that soft tissue relaxer comes into play.

I want to be honest there were many days I needed to take a stronger medication to help me relax so I could sleep. But it was tolerable after a few days each procedure, where as long as you keep your pain below what you would call a 7 level pain on a scale of 0 being no pain at all.

I think it would be helpful to talk to someone about this, such as a therapist or addictions councillor, even get yourself a good and responsible sponsor. Also it's okay to send a clinic you are considering an email about your concerns as well. If you want try using the term "I have adverse drug effects to *insert medication, or medication family here*". This is what for example you would tell the pharmacy if you had an adverse (bad) reaction to a medication (let's say you got a medication and it caused you to break out in hives, but not closing your throat). This could be risky, so this may be something to also talk to a trusted physician about, maybe a way to get around the harsher ones.

If you are planning this process soon, I would recommend like I said above working on your mental health and sobriety first.

From one recovering person to another your body may change, you may feel more comfortable in your skin, but the trauma will bubble up again and can cause issues. This happened to me. After surgery I fell off the rails for a bit because now my dysphoria wasnt occupying my thoughts, the other things had room to enter my life. What I want you to take from this is that changing your body will help for sure, but it will leave room for other issues that you've been struggling with be more forward in your mind. So having a good handle on your mental health will help you tremendously not just for the surgeries but with the other trauma you were running from. You have to love all of you because all of you is worth loving. I don't want to put a wrench in your plans, I just want you to be a healthy you.

But my recommendation mostly is emailing or calling a clinic you are considering and asking them about it. They will tell you what they can do, they may have an alternative to the heavy medications. You only know by asking. (If you want me to email them for you send me an ask/message P.Anon it won't bother me one bit. It can be hard)

If you want to actually have a conversation about this, feel free to start a conversation with me. I promise no one will no I am talking to you unless you let them know. I will never out anyone. It's just there is so much to your question and I'd love to give you as much help and support as you need.

So let me know if I missed anything, and feel free to contact me, we can talk about it more.

I hope I helped you at all,

With love, and support

-Zestual ✌🏽💙🩷

[the-haunted-office]

/* For Doom and Stanley (either) */

🧞

𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓼 — send 🧞 for my muse to reveal what they would wish for if given three wishes free of consequences.

Doomsday:

"Three wishes free of consequences, eh? Suppose wishing for infinite wishes is out. I think... I'd like to wish for my mother to have never gotten cancer, or to at least- have had a real, fighting chance against it, maybe that it was caught sooner. It wasn't fair, what happened to her. It was total fucking bullshit. The doctors all missed it, for well over a year, they missed all the signs, even when they checked her and saw the spot there, they just dismissed it, even though they knew she was a smoker, and my mom... I don't know why she didn't insist they check it out, I guess she just trusted them. Anyway. By the time they figured out what it really was, it was too late. She went into the hospital one day because she was really sick and having trouble breathing. They sent her home claiming it was pneumonia. A week later she was back, and then lo and behold, BOOM, stage IV lung cancer, metastasized, lymph nodes, liver, spine in two places, nothing they can do, six months to live. She made it five months, pretty much to the day. Yeah... I think she should have another shot at it, or to have never gotten cancer at all. She was only 52 when she died. Completely fucking unfair."

"Another wish? I wish for all incels to die and no more to ever be born, in any universe, ever. Period. Femcels included, yes. Anyone with this ideology that anyone owes you sex. DIE IN A FIRE FOREVER."

"And for my last wish, hmmmmm... I don't know. I want to fly, I guess? I've always wanted to do that. Can I do that? I don't care if I get wings or not. I just want to be able to fly. I miss that. I could do that as a ghost, but now that I'm alive again, I can't. Fuck, just let me fly again, please!"

Stanley Johnson:

"I wish... I could have my memories back, from before the Offices. I had them taken from me, against my will, when Arthur - my previous Narrator - ...did what he did. When he took me from... my life. It's because of him that I can't remember anything. Maybe my life was nothing before. Maybe it was something great. I don't know. He told me it wasn't anything to be missed, but... I want to have that choice. But he took it from me."

"I also wish that Cyrus could be cured of his agoraphobia. I think he can overcome it on his own, but I don't think he really wants to. I think... he thinks it's too difficult. It's psychological to him, in my opinion, even though it's a very real fear to him. I wish I knew how to help him, but I don't. I don't know the right words or the right... actions to take. I wish... Just... I wish I knew... how to help. So... I just wish he could be cured."

"My last wish, I want the whole... dimension-hopping thing in the Office to stop. I think it causes more harm than good. I've seen all the harmful people it brings in, and how much pain it causes my Officemates. It hasn't affected me as much yet, and I feel kind of bad about that. Somehow I manage to avoid it. I guess because I stay out of the way. I'm sorry about what happened to Thursday, and how James has now shifted his focus from me to Doomsday. I wish I could step up as a Protagonist, be stronger, and protect everyone. I just don't know how to... do any of it."

[duckapus]

Curtain Call

So the fight against Showtime at the top of the tower isn't exactly going well given how powerful she is, but thanks to the war down on the ground the tides are about to turn, because a stray barrage of Missile Megs from Bowser misses Metal Overlord and hits the tower about halfway up instead, doing enough damage to make everything above start to fall. Everybody realizes that their only chance of maybe surviving is to jump out the window, and, well, Kamek and Cubot are the only ones who can fly and they're obviously not strong enough to carry everyone else, so all they can really do is hope for a miracle (or at least for Meme Energy to decide it'd be funnier for them to survive the fall).

And with a roar and a call of "YYYYEEEHHHHHAAAWWW!" a miracle does arrive, as they all land on something mostly solid far higher up than they expected.

"Need a lift, piss-ants?"

"Anti-Shroomy!?" The 4 then looks down at what exactly their savior rode in on, "you tamed Draco Piranha!?"

"Yep! Turns out he's not so bad once you show him who's boss."

It's at that point that Showtime reminds us that she can just ignore gravity, and she starts throwing attacks at them, prompting a chase down towards the ground.

...okay, I'll level with you, I've got a few small scenes figured out for all this but not a coherent story to stitch them together, and at this point I just want this done so bear with me. Eventually the fight reaches the ground, the group is still on the back foot, the chaos of the battle raging around them is messing with both sides, at some point Ice Melony and Mecha Desmond show up while fighting each other and Showtime gets caught in their crossfire and blasted elsewhere on the battlefield and the main group (plus the rest of the converted crew members who've managed to come over to either help or attack depending on which conversion they have).

At this point Metal Overlord seemingly manages to overpower Castle Bowser and tries to merge with him to become even more powerful...but it takes a lot more willpower than Metal has to overwrite Bowser's, so instead we get Heavy Metal Bowser.

(not my best work or even colored in but this is what you get. junior for scale)

The good new is that now the Robot converted characters are now under Bowser's control and helping the good guys. The bad news is that Showtime had a front row seat for this.

"Well now, there's an idea." she looks over the battlefield and spies a certain royal Siren fending off a frozen king and his army almost single-handedly, and in an outfit that's almost just her style to boot, "Jackpot."

She flies over, sending out a wave of energy that knocks away everyone besides Old King Winter and Sonata. Sonata levels her trident at the newcomer, "Your energy...you're the source of all this madness, aren't you."

She laughs haughtily, "Clever as always, kiddo. Now, both of you hold still." she raises her arms towards the two and they begin to feel something being torn out of them as painfully as possible.

Streams of colored energy pour out of them and into Showtime, gradually causing all three to glow. eventually it gets so bright that they can't be seen at all, and when it dies down only one titanic figure remains.

"Alright! Goodby Queen Cutie and he-llo Empress Sexy~!"

"Two down, five to go. Now, where's the mushroom girl?" She flies off towards Toadstool Tangle.

Meanwhile, the Ice and Undersea converted people start to undergo some rather horrific transformations, with Creep growing out of them at all angles. 4 unfortunately gets a front-row seat when it happens to 3. This continues with the Mushroom conversions (so really just Draco Piranha and the Tangle itself), then the Muppets and soon after the ghosts, and finally everyone gets to witness the battle between Heavy Metal Bowser and an even more powerful version of Fusion Showtime with features added from the other three trigger characters (I unfortunately did not draw the later Fusion Showtime stages. I might in the future but for now you'll just have to use your imaginations). It's a close match, but eventually even Bowser falls, and Wonder Showtime is born while the Group stands alone once again.

It seems as though all hope is lost, especially since most of them quickly get pinned down by the horribly mutated versions of literally everyone, but 4 gets an idea, "Wait, we still have the seeds, right?"

Mario manages to yeet Luigi away and pulls out a few of their collected Wonder Seeds, "Yeah, but they don't exactly do anything besides sit in your inventory."

"Not on their own, but they're part of a meme, right? And they're a new enough one that they've got way more Meme Energy than most things at that scale. Maybe I can turn them into something we can actually use!"

Meggy looks over from where she's trying to get what might be Saiko and Tari off of Ferb, "Can you even get a meme to that kind of power on your own?"

"..." he looks to a particular section of the battlefield, eyes full of determination, "No, No I can't." he runs in the direction he was looking, tackling the mutated Admiral 3 to the ground and pulling a tentacle that used to be an arm into a death grip.

"SMG4, what are you doing!?"

"My...job!" he's assaulted by the all-too-familiar sensation of the Creep burrowing into his body, his brain, along with the horrible memories that come with it, but he holds firm, "3, if there's anything left in there that can hear me, I need you!"

There's a long few seconds where 4 can't help but think he's just thrown his life away for nothing before the seven Wonder Seeds rise up and start to morph into raw Meme Energy spheres, "work...fast...ba...ka"

The two work in tandem to merge the energy into a single sphere, which then transforms into...

A Wonder Flower. Because what else could it possibly be? This one has the strange grey-with-yellow-accents color scheme of the Special World wonder flowers.

"You've got-erhf-one shot! Make it...count!"

Whoever's left of the group nods in understanding and rushes towards the flower in the hopes of reaching it before one of the mutants, and two hands grab its petals at the same time, one gloved, the other not...and something unexpected happens.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

YsOwUiRnEgAyKoIuDrYaOrUmRsEfArSoQmUsIiDdYeOtUoRsEiAdKeIcDoYmOeUoRnEiAtSsQtUiImDeYtOoUgRoE-

wYoAoHmOyOwYoAoHmOyOwYoAoHmOyOwYoAoHmOyO-

waitifyourehereandimherethenwhosflyingthepingaswhatthehellamwetalkingabout

A single figure sits on a rooftop, looking out at the sun setting over a city that no longer exists.

They are alone.

They are together.

A living monument to a bond forged in Ink and Fire.

An experience made flesh.

The moment seems to stretch on forever, as they revel in simply Being...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

But when they open their eyes, not even a second has passed.

"Holy shit."

They look down at the awestruck face (or, well, eyes) of Marcy, discovering that they're now significantly taller than either of them were before.

"I knew something crazy would happen but this..."

They grin, "I know, right? I...we?...Yeah, I feel amazing! Like I could do anything! Like-"

The earth shakes, and they look up to find that Showtime's definitely noticed the commotion, "-Liiike I'm wasting time. Let's-a go!"

They run towards the titanic villain, soon discovering that their fusion was only part of the Wonder Effect as an obstacle course of combined Super Mario and Splatoon elements springs up around them, forming a path up to their target. Obviously Showtime doesn't just sit and wait for them, attacking with everything she's got, but they tackle any challenge that comes their way with a combination of Meggy's athletics and skill and Mario's platforming prowess and Avatar powers, as well as some of the greatest reoccurring memes of both (of particular note is when they weaponize Meggy's poor cooking skills to turn an oven they found into a rocket to help them reach a higher level).

Soon enough, they reach the top of what's left of the Tower, nearly at eye level with Wonder Showtime. She leers down at them.

"And just what are you supposed to be, you little freak?"

"It's-a me, Marggy, and I'm not 'supposed' to be anything. But as long as we're both here, I guess I'll be the one to take you down."

She laughs at this, then gives them a sharklike grin, "Real cute, kids. But it's gonna take a lot more than two midgets in a trenchcoat to beat a goddess."

Marggy shrugs, "I dunno, eight on two seems like pretty good odds to me."

More laughter as she brings up her ice-covered arm, "Okay, okay. Now you die."

A blast of ice the width of an ocean liner barrels towards them, but rather than show any fear they simply activate a certain something they grabbed on their way up here: a Killer Wail Canned Special.

"NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINTENDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The beam of sound and ink cuts through the ice magic like it's nothing, badly cracking the ice arm and, after she moves it out of the way in pain, continuing on to blast a hole in the eye on her chest. They waste no time after that, continuing along the Wonder Effect's path towards the prone titan.

She can tell what they're doing, but at her size with her injuries doesn't have the speed or strength to get away in time. Instead, she directs every last one of her mutated minions, Creep tentacles, shadow arms, and whatever else she can muster at them, "JUST DIE ALREADY!!!"

Marggy continues to be able to outrun and outfight everything thrown at them, eventually diving into the hole they made and finding themselves in a massive chamber made of creep. And right in front of them is a face they've been hoping to see all day.

She's beat up, covered in Creep, her dress ripped to shreds and crown nowhere to be seen, and just barely conscious, but when she looks up at them her eyes are as bright as ever, and she doesn't look the least bit surprised to see them, "Hey honey. How was your trip?"

The bravado Marggy's been keeping up crumbles away, and they start to tear up, "Mom..." They run towards her, pulling her into a hug as best they can given her bindings.

They stay that way for a short while, then it's back to business, "Okay, Let's finish this." they look around the room, which seems to be slowly becoming active, for some kind of weak point, eventually spotting yet another massive eye directly above Emulator, "That looks about right."

They pull out Mario's Code Bow, which apparently merged with Meggy's Splattershot so become a futuristic Tri-Stringer, and aim it up at the eye. It's at this point that Showtime starts fighting back again, lashing out from the walls with more tendrils, but it's too late, and an inky, binary-covered arrow flies straight and true clean through the eye's pupil, and the entire room becomes enveloped in blinding blue light as Showtime screams in agony.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back outside, Showtime's outer shell is glowing just as much as the rest of her, and a shockwave of Wonder Power blasts out from her, destroying any Creep it touches and transforming the Mushroom Kingdom and its people back into their original selves. Everyone present begins to celebrate the fact that it's finally, finally over.

In the meantime, the Crew and the airship group all do their best to get their bearings and start heading towards the now rapidly shrinking glow. Which, of course, leads them right back to the old castle grounds.

Before anyone gets there, a small shape falls out of the sky and lands with a comical squeaky toy sound in the grass, standing up to reveal that it's Old Man Hobo back to his usual self "Does anyone know where I li-"

*WHAM*

Suddenly, Bowser crashes shell-first on top of him, clutching Lily to his chest. When the trigger characters had reformed up in the air, he'd made sure to grab onto her so he could break her fall. Giant superpowered turtles can handle falling from the sky, human children usually can't.

Next to land is Kermit, who hits the ground with a splat before immediately standing up, "Well. That was traumatic. Goodbye everyone, don't bother inviting me to the next arc." With that, he walks off with that G-Mod "Move doll up and down" walk that most characters use.

Peach, Floyd and Metal Sonic can all just float down, so they do so.

And finally, there's Marggy and Emulator, who use the last of the Wonder Flower's power to gently touch down right on the moat bridge, with her leaning on them once they're on solid ground and gravity takes effect.

After this there'd probably be an actual reunion scene and maybe an epilogue (plus the scene about Showtime's fate that I detailed in this post) but I am done with this arc. Duck is out, peace!

[hoonieswhore]

VI. One of the Drunks

Previous / Masterlist / Next

Word count: 1,2k.

Warnings: mentions of drinking, usual bickering, cursing, kinda suggestive, mentions of perv!Hoon

Friday night was good for everyone, especially for the Untitled band since they always played in a local bar. Today was a special day because Heeseung's childhood friend went to see them. In the backstage, the band was preparing the instruments and equipment while asking their guitarist about his friend. “We basically grew up together and then we parted ways, like everyone does, but we're still in contact and we always tell eachother everything.” Heeseung replied as he was tuning his guitar. The younger members nodded before Jake asked again, “BUT HE'S LIKE A STAR, you think he might want to be friends with us?” The Aussie boy smiled brightly as he played with his drumstick. “Sure, he's pretty cool,” Heeseung made a small pause as he took a quick glance at their vocalist, “well, I don't know if he'd be friends with everyone in this room… Especially if they looked at him like they were about to stab him on every fucking meal.” YN let out a sigh, looking at Heeseung through the mirror in front of her as she continued fixing her hair. “I didn't do that.”

The girl tried to defend herself but Jay interrupted her, “Do you even know him or he just gives you bad vibes?” YN rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed since it was the 10th time that the boys asked her if she knew the figure skater. “This is the last time I'll say it: I DO know him, I want him thirty miles away from me cause I can't stand him, end of the fucking conversation.” She said, grabbing her mic and turning around to face the boys, “Now I want you guys to shut up and hurry up with the last details, we only have two minutes before the show starts.” The boys nodded, grabbing their stuff and walking out of the room towards the stage.

Sunghoon was sitting alone on the table, he was already on his second drink when the show started. He took his time admiring every member doing their thing and he recognised they were very good at it, no doubt they had a contract with the bar and a good time to perform. The figure skater also noticed how the band already had a good public since people were enjoying the show and others were screaming their names. Yn's voice was better than he remembered and she definitely knew what she was doing on stage.

After three songs, Sunghoon found himself mesmerized by her, he wanted to look at the rest of the band but he couldn't take his eyes off of the pretty vocalist, especially when she was wearing such a hot outfit. The boy wanted to punch himself when he noticed that she was looking right into his eyes as she sang a pretty suggestive song, but that wasn't the only problem. The other problem was that his own body was betraying him and pumping all the blood in his veins to a specific part of his body and that made him feel like a teenager. The boy looked away quickly and chugged the rest of his glass, hoping that the alcohol would help with his growing bulge.

After forty-five minutes, the show was done, everyone was cheering and clapping as the band left the stage. Sunghoon was now slightly drunk but his plan worked since he was no longer hard. Heeseung and his friends approached the table, Heeseung and Jay sat next to each other in front of the model while Jake pushed Yn to sit next to Sunghoon before sitting next to her. Now Sunghoon was squished against the wall next to him as YN was trying to sit comfortably but that was getting impossible with the two boys manspreading. The girl sighed and punched her friend's leg as she said "Close your legs a bit, Jake, there's literally no space." The drummer rubbed his leg as he dramatically hissed "YN that hurts!" Everyone in the table laughed as they called Jake a drama king and shook their heads. Before they could continue with their bickering, Sunghoon started speaking, "Guys, that was SO amazing, you're really good! I thought you guys couldn't sing though, your voices are really good!" The boys smiled at him and thanked him before they kept talking about random things.

Two hours passed between drinks and laughs, despite the fact that Yn and Sunghoon couldn't be around each other, they realized that it wasn't that bad. Not until Sunghoon pulled his phone out of his pocket, grazing her thigh from how close they were and noticing how she slightly shivered because of his cold fingers. The older girl looked at him briefly before she kept talking with the rest of the guys. That light touch made Sunghoon look down for a bit and consequently, he ended up taking a glimpse of YN's cleavage. The boy unlocked his phone and started tweeting his feelings. He needed to talk about it somehow, especially when he felt that he was getting slightly hard again.

“Hoon? Everything okay?” He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't notice that his friend was calling his name for at least one minute. “Huh? Yeah!” he smiled at him and nodded, “I was just spacing out haha, what were you guys talking about?” Sunghoon locked his phone and left it on the table as he paid attention to his new friends again. “Well, we wanted to play rock-paper-scissors to see who's getting more drinks, wanna play?” Jay explained as he took his hand to the middle of the table, followed by the rest of the band, including Sunghoon. They played until Heeseung and Jake were too drunk, leaving the tipsy ones to decide that it was time to go home.

Sunghoon and Jay helped Heeseung to walk through the parking lot, the older one didn't drink too much but he was a lightweight. YN and Jake were walking two meters behind them, both of them laughing at Jake's drunk state. “Hey darling, new guy has a crush on you~” Jake giggled, slightly pushing her in a teasing way, the girl held onto his arm since she felt like she was going to fall. “You idiot! Don't push me like that, I wasn't ready!” she laughed, trying to push her friend back, “and what you mean he has a crush on me?” She took a quick glance at the three boys in front of them, focusing on the youngest. “Girl?? You gotta be kidding me, he's been staring at you the whole night,” he started, “please, he even stared at your ass when you got up to get more drinks and let me tell you that it was SO obvious. I'm kinda surprised that you didn't jump on him, he seems like your type.” Yn punched his arm, annoyed by Jake's words, he was right but she would never admit it. “Jake, what the fuck? How would I like a pervert like him? You're drunk bro.” She shook her head as she frowned. “Please… you can't play dumb with me and you know that, plus he tweeted some interesting stuff~” Jake cooed before jogging to the boys, opening the door of Jay's car as the others helped Heeseung to sit in the car.

YN stared at them, still confused at Jake's words as she started to get flashbacks from her last time with the model…

Taglist: @donghoonie-3 @venusssmoon @moonlighthoon (if you want to be added, send an ask<3)

[dungeonegg]

Kust wanted to give you all a quick little update about how things have been going. This is gonna be a bit long so I'll do the cut thing here.

A couple weeks ago, my mom asks me if we can afford car payments to go up because she wants to trade in the leased car for a new car. I tell her if it's really what she wants, we'll figure it out. So the dealership orders in a new car for her. Then three days ago, she shows me the back of her phone because she noticed an issue with it.

Not sure if the photo will post but if not, the glass over her camera on the back if somehow perfectly shattered over one of the lenses and a bit in a few other spots too. Major safety issue. She did end up getting glass feom it in her finger at one point. So on top of a new car, new phone needed. So off to the provider we go the next day to get a new phone. During that process, mom decides we're updating mine as well since neither of us have updated in like five years or so. Because it was late when we got there, they couldn't activate or transfer things same day so we get an appointment to come back the next day to do that.

So yesterday was the appointment. I let my coworkers know that hey, need to leave pretty much right when we close to go to this appointment as it's like a 30 minute drive to get there. Around 230 or so my one coworker comes back from lunch with a thing of canned air to clean his station which is right next to mine. He then decides to experiment with it by holding it upside down and spraying coins. Not a big deal. Next thing j know, he's frozen his pen.

Apparently the combined smell of chemically frozen ink and way too much canned air in a sort of small space was too much for me. So I start coughing. Trying to help someone cash their check and I keep having to stop to cough. But get that done and go to the other room to put away cash. Bear in mind, at this stage I've already told coworker he's never allowed canned air again and he's apologized several times. Can't stop coughing. Go to break room to sit for a moment and get something to drink, help with the cough. One of my other coworkers is there and just kinda staring at me like "dude, wtf" so I tell him what happened. He immediately gets worried and tells me to sit and do I want him to kick first coworker, because he will. Give mom a call to let her know what happened. During the call, start trying to clear my throat. By this point, I'm coughing, hacking, and gagging. Apparently I can give the exorcist a run for their money, according to my coworker and it sounds like I'm possessed by the devil. Nearly throw up. Mom tells me to stop outside so I can get some fresh air, which helped a bit so I go back inside to sort money and sell to vault.

Continue coughing. So I go make some tea and send possibly the most British texts (my mother is 1/2 British, 1/2 Irish) I have ever sent in my life: 'making tea. Coworker is never allowed canned air again'. Normally when I make tea, there's milk and sugar in it but since the only milk there is expired by three months, I threw out the milk and just added a TON of honey with the sugar. Not my favorite taste but not bad and it seriously helped so much. My poor coworker who'd brought the canned air kept apologizing. Later, I was telling my boss what happened only to wind up explaining that you're not supposed to shake canned air, which apparently she has done every time she uses it.

Anyway, get out of work, go to phone appointment, that takes about an hour, then off to dealership so we can get the new car. We were there for a couple hours to get paperwork and everything finished up. Luckily there wasn't too much because mom had been earlier and done a bunch of it but car wasn't ready then which is why we had to go back. Have been sporadically coughing the entire time.

Did manage to get a bit of progress on a little drabble thing for Dungeon Egg that I'm using as a way to get a better grasp of some of the characters. Honestly it deals with a bit of a spoiler for one of them so probably won't be releasing it for a while still but I will release it eventually.

I promise, I'm still working on the demo! Not entirely sure when I'll have it up hut hoping to do so within the next couple weeks or so. No promises other than you guys will know as soon as it's available!

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Having been in several musician-based fandoms, it humors me to see so many get so worked up over Harry "going away" for a while. This is what happens with bands & musicians. I think this generation has been set up to expect a 2 year album release cycle, and not just in Harry's case. This particular fandom is probably used to the album per year from 1D, then Harry releasing music every other year. That's how you get the most bang for your buck, right? Strike while the iron's hot. I don't want to bring her into this, but what's happening with Taylor right now, getting bigger and bigger (we probably all thought 1989 era was the ceiling) is an anomaly (especially for a woman, but that's another discussion). She said herself, she's 33, and that's like 750 in popstar years. Our icons age and change, and at some point, we might stop relating to their music because we also grow (Dad Rock doesn't start out as Dad Rock). Unlike actors or other celebrities, musicians kind of have to put their lives on hold for years at a time to record, promote & tour. So, them taking breaks is just them trying to live a life. It's not forever because, as you said, this is what they're made to do. I'd just ask for people to look at other popstars/musicians around... Ariana, Gaga, Adele, Taylor, Beyonce, Timberlake, Ed, Usher, Jonas Bros, Bieber... they've all taken long breaks and they're all very adamant that music is what drives them and they'll never truly be "gone." Hell, Elton John just NOW stopped touring at 76. Paul McCartney is still going. Madonna & Janet! Give them time. Give yourself time & space to figure out who you are outside of being Harry's fan. We can't let our stars burn out before their time. And honestly, if Harry wants to take one month or 5 years off, that's just how it will be. If you're here for the right reasons, it shouldn't matter in the end.

These are very fair points, and I understand what you’re saying and all of it is true.

But a lot of us are still 1D fans, and I think it’s only fair to acknowledge that there’s a level of trauma and distrust with the talk of “breaks” because of it, that do bleed out into this situation.

While I understand what you’re getting at, and know that stanning a (now) solo artist is different because there’s no “compromise” component of having to get five people in various stages of their tours/careers/lives together to tour again, there’s still quite a bit of uncertainty and a sense of loss that I don’t think should be minimized.

Personally, I’m really lucky that I got to see 1D once while they were still touring, and had the means to see Harry the last three years. Not everyone has that chance and it’s certainly devastating to think it may not come around again for a long while.

I think many of us do know who we are outside of being Harry’s fans, but it doesn’t hurt to have that sprinkle of magic when and where he’s able to give it. Most (if not all of us) have been extremely supportive of him taking the time to rest and live his life and recharge his creative energy, but people are experiencing a very normal level of grief and sadness over losing a piece of their escape.

It’s okay to talk about it and share those anxieties with people who get it. It helps. 😉

[cantbelieveyouregone]

hey since you gave me a bunch of questions im gonna give YOU a bunch of them so how about 1, 6, 7, 20, 27, 39, 46 >:)

Damn, Lee, making me face the consequences of my actions. Greetings hello hi by the way :D

1) What was your first exposure to Danganronpa?

There's a few different answers to this depending on the level of awareness I had on what DR was. In like 2014-ish I had a friend cosplay as Monokuma, but had literally no idea what DR was at that point despite them enthusiastically recommending it to me. A few years later, another friend cosplayed as Chiaki, equally clueless then. It wasn't until like lockdown that I saw a play through of DR1 come up in my recommended on YouTube and I was just like "I vibe with detective games right now, sure" and then I experienced The Horrors (cautiously affectionate). Though I did vaguely recall Hifumi's death when I saw it for the first time, definitely hadn't seen the whole game before.

6) Do you have a fan character? Tell us about them!

I somehow don't have a DR fan character yet! Mainly because my brain took a different route and just started throwing my own characters into a slightly modified DR-like scenario as a game design challenge for myself. More focused on changing parts of the killing game formula and stuff. :p

7) You get the chance to reassign five characters new talents. Who do you choose, and which new talents do they get?

Gonna do this with the angle of characters keeping their underlying personality, and force myself to choose at least one per game. Leon is now the Ultimate Stage Actor, and yes he still wants to be a rock star - dude never learns his lines, just improvs flawlessly. Taka is now the Ultimate Lawyer, and my boy does NOT cope with the changed rules of killing game trial mayhem, repeatedly explaining that you can't just do the death penalty like that and Monokuma telling him to stop being a spoilsport. Hiyoko is now the Ultimate Opera Singer, partially because it makes it ten times funnier that she likes Ibuki's screamo, and because I find it very funny the idea of her absolutely dragging someone through the mud with words while singing Like That. Gundham Tanaka is now the Ultimate Janitor. No further comment, imagine what you will. Finally, I'm gonna say that Shuichi is now the Ultimate Marksman. He retains a literal eye for detail, the insecurity from rooty-tooty-thing-go-shooty thing going wrong, and a better background for the trial text going as absolutely buckwild as it does while the player still handles it, as well as better meta for not participating in the fundamental trial stuff near the end. You're asking the Ultimate Marksman to not take any shot.

Not all of those are amazing choices but it is 6am and I'm writing this because I can't sleep lmao

20) What is your favorite aspect of Danganronpa?

For as flawed as they are, the characters are what I latched on to and made me keep playing. Don't have much more to say without going on essay-length rants about individual character analyses right now though. But the characters are definitely a big draw.

27) You’re placed in a Killing Game as yourself (who you are now, no perks). How far do you believe you’d get?

Bestie, I am fucked. I am exceedingly killable and the embodiment of the Barely Hanging In There Star. I'd be paranoid, self-isolate as much as possible, and that would give anyone that figures out where I go an easy place to kill me with no witnesses. If I don't die first, I'm either a dishonourable second, or the least memorable of the two chapter three victims (because I'm assuming the others are still Ultimates, so I'm literally Just Some Guy) that the writers just get rid of because I outlived whatever subplot significance I had.

39) Which character do you feel deserves more love?

This is a hard one to answer simply from the fact I'm very much in my own bubble and don't really know the fandom's most beloved blorbos. Gonna do a few different ones for different interpretations of the question. Korekiyo was done dirty by the writing and could've been an interesting character but instead just feels like a waste of a good motive, so he deserved more love by the DR writers. Leon seems very ignored because first killer, obvious killer once the investigation started and his literal name was at the scene, and relatively shallow what we got in just the original game. So he could probably do with more attention to expand on his character. And I just don't want the TERFs to have Tenko, so I'm gonna say Tenko. Tenko would aggressively support trans rights, you can't change my mind. Deserves more love from non-TERFs.

46) What are some of your pregame headcanons?

I'm going to assume this is mainly about the V3 crew and answer based on that. And because I'm not creative, one pre-game headcanon per character.

Rantaro was a hell of a homebody, but got very good at cooking, and enjoyed trying to create foods from different cultures as accurately as possible. Danganronpa had a hell of a time getting ahold of him for the 52nd game.

Kaede was actually incredibly good at maths. Never saw herself as the creative type because of it.

Ryoma was actually a relatively happy-go-lucky guy, before the Character Writing made him depressed. He was a very good singer, too.

Kirumi was one of the popular kids, but like... the Secondary Character of the main popular kids friends group. She let you copy off her homework because she was equally as confident when she was completely wrong as when she was right.

Angie regularly ran DnD campaigns for a small group of people. She was the glue holding the friend group together, and the one who stopped them drifting apart.

Tenko was studying psychology in her free time in a desperate attempt to try and find a way to outwit her ADHD. Mainly she just ended up going down Wikipedia rabbit holes. Very good on the clarinet.

Korekiyo was just a normal guy. Didn't have a sister. Healthy relationship with his existing family. He had a pet dog that he hung out with a lot after school. He never brushed his hair.

Miu was actually a completely average student, the kind of person you'd never happen to really meet unless someone introduced you. But by God she was passionate about writing. Not that she ever told anyone.

Gonta was very much a gym bro. Neglected a lot of his studies to get back on the grind, but was still quite naturally smart. He paid no mind to people wondering how a teenager like him was jacked as fuck.

Kokichi was very much your archetypical emo kid. Got very good at pretending everything was fine for the sake of not getting bothered by people, and tried to blend into the background. He wanted to hack the school website for fun but couldn't be bothered to figure it out.

Kaito was the guy to go to if you needed to pretend you had a boyfriend for an event. He'd do it for a day's lunch money. Solid C+ student in everything but art, where he was a B+ student.

Keebo, I have always imagined as a regular guy who was augmented into a cyborg masquerading as a robot. Aka, not actually even a robot, but Danganronpa fucked him up big time for their purposes. He was a very sporty kid, but didn't like people drawing attention to it. He just had a lot of energy.

Tsumugi... I find it hard to do a headcanon for her because I can't even agree with myself whether she's actually a teenager or an adult cosplaying as one. But she had a small close knit group of friends that she'd spend at least one weekend a month with.

Maki was really looking forward to studying literature in her higher education. But then someone made her apply to Danganronpa on a dare, and she did it to shut them up, intentionally making herself sound as boring as possible to reduce the chance she got picked. Unfortunately, Team Danganronpa took it as a challenge.

Himiko was the one who you'd hear about doing some wild shit, but then you'd meet her in person and the vibe can only be described as the gif of SpongeBob sitting in a coffee shop looking sad. You could never be sure if the things you heard were rumours or true.

Shuichi was the disruptive one with anger issues. He'd aggressively disagree with the teacher's opinion just because he could and he was bored. The only exception was in Geography. It was the one subject that for some reason calmed him down.

Hope those answers were alright! I'd link to the ask game but I'm on mobile and can't be bothered right now, might edit to add it later though lmao