#and yknow what many of them are not resistant theres a huge number of folks who are shy allies unsure of speaking up bc they dont know

[kaiscove]

Just wanted to tack on another sort of series of personal stories from work (a Canadian engineering company, employee age typically running 35-60 with more people on the older end). I co-run our company's queer employee resource group (ERG). We run all sorts of workshops and events annually and ofc one of my favourites is in-person in-office Pride celebrations 🌈🌈🌈 I've been out for 20+ years and this place is no exception, plus I bedeck the heck out of our cafeteria with rainbows and pride swag, so there is little way to mistake what our ERG is there to bring visible joy and celebration to.

I always set up two frames at the table our group hosts over lunch in the cafeteria. Each frame has 8 of the most commonly used queer identity pride flags with labels beneath them (16 total). What ends up happening is this: some people shy away, some shyly approach, and others enthusiastically come over as allies and the handful of out fellow queer peers. Everyone who makes it to the table generally has their eyes drawn to the framed pride flags first because they're so colourful, they're standing up, and they recognize some of the "main" flag's variations.

I have a lot of info in various formats to ask about, but what are my most common questions, every single year?

"What's asexuality?" and "What's aromanticism?"

And almost every single time I can remember answering that question, I see either 1) rapid mental calculations now exploding in their mind 2) a long, pensive stare at the ace or aro pride flags as they ask sort of distantly "A term for that exists?" Or 3) curiosity-animorphing-into-deer-in-the-headlights

100% of those people have grabbed one of my "identify definitions and where to find more info and communities related to them" printouts then ran away (at various speeds lol, some are in their 30's but others are indeed in their 50's and 60's!)

And each time I'm just like yeah that makes sense that these people I particularly admire for their passion for their job/cool life stories of adventuring with friends/amazing technical and/or artistic skills share a large overlapping Venn diagram with the "oh I was not expecting to be in this aro/ace picture" people at our pride table haha

(for the nuance, I am never going to diagnose someone else's identities. I am simply open to the fact that there are many, many people of the older generations are queer in some way but have never heard of identities beyond gay, lesbian, and now bc of the media, trans people)

Sharing the wide variety of different identities is one of my favourite things to do with our ERG ✨

I want old aros so badly. I want a history. I want a future. I want tales of lives that I understand. I want to see myself in a future where I’m happy and comfortable.

But I don’t have that, so I’ll have to build it.