#and yet. and yet. he was a million men and no one at all. constantly playing roles

[wandercr]

it's crying about freddie mer.cury hours

[mv1simp]

prompt: max finding out one of the driver's "innocent" sister actually has a secret diary/account dedicated to all her naughty desires for him

Sweet Like Candy ♥️

Max Verstappen x Camgirl!Reader

sugar coated, lies unfolded, you still lick the wrapper. its addictive, you know this (but you still lick the wrapper)

At 27, three time world champion Max Verstappen has become bored with the blinding glamour and fake crowds who try to cling onto his fame. So when you catch his interest, sparking desire for the first time in months, he quickly becomes obsessed. He just never imagined his favourite camgirl would turn out to be his ex teammate’s shy, little sister who needed to pay off her college loans.

Content includes: 18+ MDNI, smut, camgirl!reader, Riccardio!reader, basically sugar daddy! max vibes lolz, somnophilia, blackmail, filming, cheating, 3.8k WC

Max Verstappen knew he was famous - everyone wanted a piece of the most desired driver in the richest sport on earth. When he'd been younger, high off the rush of being crowned a world champion, he’d been cockier about it, too. He enjoyed the smug arrogance that came with his skill, with his million figure paycheck, knowing that most men he met wanted to be him and most girls wanted to be with him. And it certainly didn’t hurt that he looked the way he did, all 6 foot of thick, built muscle and angled jawline with intense blue eyes. He’s had more than his fair share of rolling around in the sheets (and private jets and yachts and backseats of luxury Aston Martins - you get the picture) with countless models and actresses.

Now, at 27, he’d mellowed out, being quietly assured in his confidence and dominating aura. His talent and insane track record does all the talking for him without him needing to say a word when he steps into any room. And he’d stopped his playboy ways too, now the very picture of a loyal family man with his long term model girlfriend and her child who he doted on. It was true that he didn't hold any romantic feelings for her or love her particularly - but that was rare these days, anyways, with the superficial women who constantly surrounded him. But he knew he had her loyalty and in turn, she was provided for with access to Max's fame and finances.

Sure, he’s still offered temptations of money, drugs, alcohol, and sex on the daily, with tens of thousands of people desperate to offer him something to get a taste of the famous Max Verstappen. But unlike his younger self, his self control these days was much better. He rarely found something new that he hadn’t already tried and gotten bored of in his glamorous life as a F1 driver. He’d already started planning his retirement after his Redbull contract ended, somewhere on a remote island far away from all the greedy swarms eager to sink their claws into him.

So one day when one of his mates sent him a link, and your OnlyFans page pops up as he hovered over it, Max just rolled his eyes. His friend had texted that he had to check this chick out, she was so fucking sexy. Max had almost ignored it, already being used to countless offers from insta models DMing him on the daily. But maybe he’d been extra bored that day, because somehow he ends up clicking onto your page. And everyday, he thanks whatever fucked up God was watching from above that he did. Because what he saw next quickly became the world champion’s secret obsession.

You’re a cute young 20something, the very vision of a pure angel who lusted for dirtier fantasies she was too shy to ask for in real life. Your OnlyFans feed was filled with horny thoughts about wanting to get fucked by your older brother’s hot friend or which sexy songs you liked to listen to as you breathlessly use your pink bullet vibrator. It's a new page, started only a month ago, but you already have a few thousand followers, all drooling over the innocent yet tempting pictures you post. Nothing too raunchy - but more suggestive, in tight pastel crop tops with your nipples poking through or a shot of your curvy ass in a white lace panties. Probably a college kid, Max guessed, from the fact that the corner of a textbook could sometimes be seen in your photos and that you offered more naughtier photos to those viewers who payed a little extra. Clearly not any sort of adult film actress - and Max would know, because he’d definitely had some fun with one (or two) before.

But the real cherry on top was when he scrolled across a recent video stream you’d posted. Playing it out loud in his empty penthouse, his cock immediately hardened at the sight of your petite, curvy figure dressed up in lacy lingerie. You sat on your fluffy bed, surrounded by pink fluffy cushions and throw blankets, your face hidden from your teasing smile up. Your glossy, pouting lips giggle easily as you sway your hips in the cute lace babydoll you’re wearing, excitedly chattering about some pop singer you liked or the other. You're answering prying questions viewers are asking, reading them out loud from the chat. Did you have a boyfriend, what's your ideal type of man?

Max likes the soft, playful sound of your girly voice. His mind dirtily wonders what you'd sound like moaning underneath his much larger form. You hmmm for a second, pouting cutely, before shyly admitting that there was just one guy you’d had a crush on for ages, but he had no idea you existed. A friend of your brother's, in fact, you guys probably know him, you mused. He’s pretty famous! Comments flood the chat, trying to guess if he was a singer or actor or-

Nope, he’s an athlete! You giggle, biting your glossy lip and playing with your hard nipples. Max can’t resist palming his own cock through his sweats as he hungrily enjoys the sight of your pretty brown areolas through the see-through lace. He-mmmh-he’s Dutch, you begin, suppressing cute gasps as you toy with your oversensitive, perky tits. So tall, too, and super strong, I love seeing him shirtless! I’ll give you guys one more clue…he’s the fastest man alive when you put him in a racecar.

Ice blue eyes narrow as the comments finally hone in on just who you were talking about. So this is why his friend had sent him this, huh? He couldn’t deny he wasn’t pleased with the way you giggle cutely and confirm that your big fat crush was on Max Verstappen. I know it’s wrong, you whine, breathless as your small, manicured fingers slip down your body to play with the edge of your panties. It’s so naughty, he doesn’t know me and even has a pretty girlfriend, but every night I dream about him fucking me. He’s so hot, so dreamy, and that Dutch accent of his - you cut yourself off with a pleasurable moan, now teasing the audience as you finger yourself through your dripping panties, not letting anyone get a full view of your innocence. Let’s just say I’d let him use me anytime, anywhere, however he wants, you laugh sweetly, your voice a contrast to your dirty words.

Oh, fuck. Talk about a vixen. He hadn't seen a treasure as rare as you in a long time. And it looked like many, many viewers enjoyed your particular brand of angelic sinfulness as multiple donations flood in, begging you to finally take your panties off on the main stream. Max can't stop himself from sending a generous one himself, after jacking off to completion at the sweet sounds of you cumming through your panties. You'd eagerly humped one of your pink cushions, tits bouncing through the practically see through lingerie, moaning Max’s name as if he was right there under you when you reached your peak. Oops, sorry guys! You giggle again, your sweet voice now bashful. Got too caught up, next time I’ll make sure to say the name of the highest donor, mmkay?

It's a good OnlyFans account - no, a great one, but Max didn’t think of it much afterwards, getting caught up in his own busy life and making sure to erase his search history in case his overly paranoid girlfriend came snooping. The fact that you'd mentioned he was friends with your brother also meant very little, given his very large circle of friends and acquaintances given his fame. Everyone liked to say they were mates with Max Verstappen, F1 champion, even if the extent of friendship had been a single handshake.

To his surprise though, a few days later he received a private DM from you, sweetly thanking him for his generous donation! Curious, he opens your message, knowing you wouldn't know who he was from his generic username of CatDaddy33. He hadn't thought he had sent you much at all, maybe a couple grand? You deserved it, working so hard to dress up cutely and pay off whatever college loans you probably had.

But apparently you thought it was a very lavish contribution, because you’d sent him a very tempting photo as a thank you gift. He’d almost dropped his phone when he sees your lush bare tits, out on display as you stuck your pink tongue out cheekily, the rest of your face still hidden. Just for you. Hope you enjoy! you captioned, one small hand cupping your breasts and squeezing a pretty nipple that practically had Max salivating to sink his teeth into. Oh, he certainly enjoyed it, saving it to his private collection to jack off too later when his uptight girlfriend wasn’t in the mood - which was usually the case the majority of the month.

He ends up logging back onto your page that night to enjoy your latest steam, then another, and soon enough he had a full blown infatuation with you. Your tempting, curvy figure and your pretty lips that you bite as you keep talking about how turned on Maxie had made you in the qualifying today, looking so muscly and angry! has him downloading your naughty nudes to his phone. It’d been a long time since a girl had gotten him get so turned on, after all. You drove him wild with your girly, innocent mannerisms paired with your sexy body and filthy words as you play with yourself, always making sure to never fully reveal your face or naked cunny to the viewers with a slutty outfit covering you.

Of course, he generously tips each time he visits your page, resulting in you frequently sending him more thank you presents each time. Lately you've been asking him if he wants you to wear a certain outfit or call out his name in your next video, but he texts back that he just enjoyed watching you have fun, sweetheart. And that's true - because that's all this can be, just a private guilty pleasure for him to enjoy behind closed doors. The rest of the world wouldn't respond well to his dedicated, family man image if they knew that the Dutch champion secretly liked his girls sweet and begging for his attention on adult websites. Even though his actual relationship had become more of a PR facade, now, and had been that way for well over six months. The last chemistry fizzled out when she’d tried to wake Max up with her mouth on his morning wood, somehow trying to make up for weeks of no sex. He made up some excuse about being stressed for the race as he rapidly softened despite her repeat attempts, pushing her off him and going to shower.

But as soon as he’s under the warm steam, he’d only had to close his eyes and picture your perfect, full pouting lips on his cock instead for his impressive semi to come rushing back. As he lazily strokes himself, he wonders what your eyes looked like, still having never seen them with how you kept the top half of your face off the frame. Would you look up at him sultrily as your pink tongue darted out and licked his slit, or did you prefer having him meanly shove his cock all the way in as you gagged with wide, teary doe eyes? He guessed the second fantasy would be your pick, judging by how your breath seemed to hitch in excitement whenever a commanding order was DMed to you following a donation. The submissive type, for sure, who’d once said she’d eagerly let Max Verstappen have his way with her wherever, however he wanted her-

He came with a muffled groan, panting heavily as his release drips down to be cleaned away by the hot water. Maybe he’d finally give into your pleas to him to request something and ask you to suck a sweet lollipop for him on your next stream.

He puts his distracting thoughts about you to the back of his mind as he arrives on the paddock, camera flashes going crazy as they note the increased distance between the Redbull driver and his unhappy girlfriend as she trails behind him. Frankly, Max had stopped caring what his public image was at this point in the season, knowing it was only a matter of time before he got his PR manager involved to cook up some mutual breakup story to feed the media.

Qualifying goes well and the race even better for once, despite the shit box his car had been this season. Afterwards, he greets Daniel, who greets him excitedly and commends his race efforts. The two drivers are laughing, catching up easily in their conversation - when a small figure turns the corner to come up next to Daniel’s side. Oh! The Australian man grins, gently tugging the shy figure by his side forward. You remember my little sis, right Max?

The Dutchman stared at your blushing face as you nervously avoid eye contact with the much taller blonde. Cute, he thinks briefly, finding your brown doe eyes and Riccardio curls pretty. Sure, I remember her, we met at the Silverstone race last year, right? It had been a brief meeting, Daniel swinging by the Redbull garage to congratulate Max and you’d been trailing behind him. Max vaguely remembered you from your younger days, when you’d shyly stayed out of the older boys' way when he had visited Daniel in his Perth family home in Australia. But you’d grown up now, and had chosen to attend college overseas in London, and Max politely asks if you were still studying there. On a full ride scholarship too, Daniel confirms proudly, fondly ruffling your curls and making you protest. Still won’t accept a dime from her older brother, even with the ridiculous London rent.

Pouting rather adorably, you quickly fix your hair, glaring at your sibling as you mutter that you didn’t want his tax evasion money, thanks, you could look after yourself. Max laughs, pleasantly surprised you had some teeth behind your blushing, pretty face. You immediately look up to see his gorgeous blue eyes looking at you in interest before nervously flicking them away again, clutching onto Daniel’s hoodie as the two men resume their conversation. Later, as he watches you walk away, Max can’t help thinking about how your girly voice and pouting lips had looked so familiar. He knows many beautiful women, but there was something about your unique, natural face that made attraction swirl in his chest. He’s still thinking about it that night, annoyed about not knowing where else he’s seen you besides at your brother’s side.

And then your latest video had him sitting up straight in shock. Because he recognises the hoodie that’s draped across the back of your chair in the corner of the screen. He'd recognise it anywhere. You, of course, probably had not thought twice about the item of clothing that belonged to your brother - with it just looking like another piece of F1 merchandise to anyone watching. But Max knew that Redbull insignia on the back, signed DR3 along the logo generically but with an extra little present that Max had drawn on himself when his teammate had fallen asleep next to him on a private plane ride. The crude, cartoon dick drawing stares back at Max through the screen as he immediately recognises what he’d found funny as an 18 year old. There was only one person in the world who would own this sweatshirt personally customized by the world champion - and given the fact that you were the one who seemed to have borrowed it….the mystery of your identity finally unravels.

He sends you a private DM that very night, not wanting to play any games. He knew he had to have you, now that he knows you’re right under his nose. I know who’s little sister you are, baby.

You respond back immediately, which isn’t suprising considering how you’re in the same time zone currently. I have no idea what you’re talking about, you text, trying to deny his claim. Max smirks. He almost feels mean for winding you up but he knows you’ll be so grateful for it in the end. You’re telling me you aren’t Daniel Riccardio’s little sister? I saw you on the paddock today. No point in hiding anymore.

You seen his message for a few tense minutes, and he wonders if he approached this wrong because you could just block him. But then you frantically send back a how the hell do you know that? How did you find out?

Max chuckles as he corners you right where he wants. And an hour later you’re on a private video call with him, very differently dressed that your usual skimpy attire in a baggy t-shirt that covers all your skin as you demand to know just what he wanted. Of course, you still have no idea who he is, because even though he has his camera on, his face is well out of view. You can only squint at the image of a fit appearing guy, dressed casually in sweats but his strong muscles still showing through. You impatiently read out the next DM he sends you. I want to see your pussy, spread open for me completely-What the hell?! you shriek, outraged.

You try to get out of it, saying that was too embarrassing to do, but he makes you realise there it was futile to resist. He orders you to show your face in the video, saying there’s no point hiding it anymore since he knew exactly who you were. All over DM, of course - he couldn’t have your recognising his deep, Dutch voice that you always gushed about.

You pout cutely, lips downturned and an upset expression on your face as you slowly undress yourself for him. Then you follow his orders, gently playing with yourself as you teasingly suckle on your pink vibrator so that he could imagine what you’d look like with your lips around him, instead. Max lazily jerks himself off to the sight, enjoying how you started obediently following his instructions once you saw his hand reach into his sweats and slide his erection out. Your doe eyes went wide with guilty desire at the sight of his impressive, hard length, and you swallow back drool when you see his leaking, angry tip. Soon he had you spreading your puffy cunny lips wide for him to greedily look at, before you start sliding your little vibrator in between your achy core. He makes you call out his name like you always did, of course, and say out loud all of the dirty fantasies you’d been dreaming about lately involving your brother’s best friend. You cum intensely and Max follows shortly after, the both of you caught up in the sinful activity.

It’d been easy enough to find out the room number you’d been staying at as the Riccardio siblings were at the same hotel as him, and even easier to get the swipe card. He was Max Verstappen, after all. Leaving his bitchy girlfriend alone in his room, he makes his way to yours in the middle of the night. The hallway light briefly illuminates your peacefully sleeping figure when he opens the door, quietly locking it behind him.

You’re deep asleep, plush tits rising and falling, dressed in a cute see through lace nightgown and matching panties. After admiring the sight for a few minutes, he slides into bed behind you, finally getting to toy with those pretty nipples and squeeze the plush ass he’d been fantasising about for weeks on end. You quietly moan in your unconscious state, sleepily grinding back against the warm, hard body holding you and arching your back into the hungry mouth suckling on your stiff nipples. Soon he’s wedges his fat cock in between your thick thighs, panting heavily as he fucks then slowly so you don’t wake up. He barely lasts a couple minutes, his head dizzy with pleasure for the first time in months as blood rushes to his already hard cock. After he’s cum copiously all over your tanned skin, he slides off your panties to take for himself, making sure to rub his creamy release along your puffy slit with his large hands. He can’t resist sliding a finger inside to get feel of how luxuriously tight your pussy feels, groaning when he feels your walls clench down on him. His cock was going to experience heaven when it finally got to sink home inside you, he was sure.

You spend your day confused the next morning, remembering hazy wet dreams from the night before but not quite being able to recall exact what you’d dreamt. And you’d never been able to find your favourite lace panties, assuming they got lost in the laundry when room service cleaned up. Until your online bully, as you’d taken to calling him, sends you a naughty photo. It’s one that he could only have had access to if he’d taken it himself, you realize with a shocked gasp, as you stare at your peacefully sleeping figure. A gigantic cock, much bigger than any of your cute toys, slides into the waistband of your pink panties - which are completely see through from how soaked they’ve become. And that was one of the tamer pictures Max took that night. He wonders how you’d react to the one he has of his drooling tip brushing against your parted lips, his sticky release from earlier now leaking into your wet mouth.

You’re even cuter when you’re not putting up a fight his message says. You freak out, of course, but he doesn’t respond to your frantic questions and instead orders you to be dressed up for him tonight in that navy lace babydoll and matching blindfold set he’s having delivered, okay?

You swallow, unable to hide the rising curiosity and desire at the rich, mysterious stranger you had drawn in. You can’t really be mad at him when he sends a $10k reward to your account after teasing you with the filthy photos he’d been taking. A girl had to pay off her college loans, after all.

Besides, a hot, muscled sugar daddy appealed to you a lot more than streaming for thousands of strangers. You couldn’t wait to meet him tonight!

—————————————————————————

A/N: 😏😏😏 thank you so much for waiting patiently my dearest readers, work has been crazy but I finally have some time now to feed you!!! Get ready I’m about to be dropping some hot pieces for you including part 2 of earned it and haunted!!

[pha55ed]

Is It Casual Now? || F2 bad ending!

type :: angst tw/cw :: hurt, hurt/comfort contains :: ollie, kimi, paul, arthur summary :: after getting rejected from the boys, despite them showing every sign of being madly in love with you, you two finally meet again. maybe you make up, maybe you don't. - inspo "casual" by chappel roan - PART 1 HERE

Ollie Bearman | 03

Almost two weeks went by without a sight of Ollie. You couldn't bring yourself to go outside, you felt so embarrassed from what you did. Every time you thought of it, you either cringed or cried, sometimes both. It was hard to not think of it, since everything reminded you of him.

Every clothing item you owned, Ollie has complimented you in it at least once. Every spot in your house had a specific memory attached to Ollie, like your bathroom where he straightened your hair or your kitchen cabinets where he reached for the plates that you couldn't reach. It was like you were stuck in hell, constantly forced to think of him and how you ruined everything between you both.

It drove you crazy, to the point you started to shut everyone else out. Not even your closest friends knew about what happened, you were too ashamed to admit what you did. You lied to everyone, saying you were just super sick and couldn't hangout with anyone. You weren't fully lying, you were sick from all the crying you did, but you also didn't have the energy to go outside and possibly risk crying in public.

Once again, you were crying in your room alone, doom-scrolling in hopes of finding a funny meme to cheer you up for a split second. But when you scrolled, you saw a random girl's post. Which was odd, you never got actual posts in your feed, and if you did it was normally an ad.

But it didn't seem like an ad, but instead a real post. She could 100% be a model: soft blonde hair, bright blue eyes, a cute smile, and an amazing body. You knew you shouldn't compare yourself to random people online, but it's hard not to when you've been rotting in your bed for a week over a boy who led you on for almost an entire fucking year.

As you swiped, seeing her amazing lifestyle on a yacht in the ocean, that when you saw him. Ollie. Ollie, who sat alongside a group of two other boys and girls. Ollie, who had his hand gently on the blonde girl's shoulders as he pulled her in closer for the photo. Ollie, who was smiling whilst you were sick in bed from how much you exhausted your body from crying.

You couldn't believe it. It was as if those months together meant absolutely nothing to him. As if you meeting his family meant nothing to him, all those late night drives meant nothing, all of those compliments and hugs meant nothing, you meant nothing to him.

Instantly, you bursted into tears yet again. Unable to handle the ache in your heart, the burn in your lungs as they struggled to gasp for air. You meant nothing to him. And yet he was everything to you.

You always saw Ollie as a nice guy, a guy who would at least text you and apologize for how he acted. As if he was one of the few men on this planet who actually cared for you. But the fact that he didn't even call you once, text you once, or even knock on your door spoke a thousand words to you.

What's even worse, is when you pressed on the girl's post to see who was tagged, you couldn't help but press on Ollie's account. Once you did, for some reason all of his stuff was gone. No story highlights, no posts, no followers or following. That's when you realized: he blocked you.

Fuck him.

Fast forward 5 months: you were much better now. You got over the cringy memory of kissing him and seeing him wipe his lips so harshly: you realized you weren't in the wrong.

It took ages for you to realize that, but thankfully you had the help of your closest friends to help you see your worth. They let you rant and ramble for hours on end, about how sweet Ollie was and how he shattered your heart in a million pieces when he left you. And every single friend agreed on one thing: he was an asshole.

After many days of your friends forcing you to get out of bed and do something, you felt so much better. Your group was able to lift you from the shit hole you dug yourself in, even coming together to clean your completely filthy room that you trashed with water bottles, paper plates, and disgusting used tissues. It warmed your heart, making you want to do better to make them proud.

And you made them so proud. Seeing you get your shine back was worth those days of having you cry on their shoulder. You were your old self but even better, with a new hairstyle and new closet. For once, you could finally be proud of yourself. Something you never realized was how self-conscious you were with Ollie.

When you were with him, you constantly craved his validation. Not only him, but his family and friends as well. You completely changed your aesthetic for him, following the aesthetic that you knew he liked more. But now that you were out, you could finally indulge in clothes you actually liked instead of worrying if he would like it.

Once again, you were out with you friends for lunch, a new pass time you loved to death. It was a usual day, filled with family updates, drama from their colleges, and thirsting over a few celebrities. As you laughed from your friends sharing their,,, questionable celebrity crushes, you saw them all go silent.

Your laughter faded too once you looked in their direction, seeing Ollie standing there alone. He was wearing his favorite grey hoodie, his comfort hoodie. His eye bags looked worse than usual, something he rarely ever got since he has a great skincare routine thanks to you. And for the first time in your life, he was wearing slides... Something he swore against wearing because he thought they were so ugly and unprofessional.

Although he broke you, you couldn't help but feel worried for him. Your head was screaming no, you knew if you went to him it would only end in more hurt. There is no such thing as a "closure conversation", it would just led to more questions or even worse, a second chance. But you didn't care, your body moved out of your chair as you went over to him.

Your friends didn't try to stop you, confident that you were stable enough to handle talking to him again. He was waiting for his order, far from the dining area. His head never left the floor, he didn't even notice when you stood right next to him. His head only raised once he saw your shoes, his eyes widening once he saw you.

His eyes darted all across you, as if he was robot scanning to see if you were real. The way his mouth slightly parted showed what he was thinking: he was breathless.

"(Y-Y/N)?" He said softly, stuttering your name as if it was Voldemort. Your heart, on it's own, skipped a beat. Excited to hear the way his voice said your name.

"Ollie," you said, finally being able to say his name without shaking. The way you both stared at each other was speaking so much more than you both able to say. "Are you alright...?"

You felt like an idiot for caring for him. He led you on for months and blocked you once he got a new girl, a new girl whom you compared yourself to in every way possible.

"Yeah." He said, yet his eyes did the opposite. Something you never thought you would ever see: his eyes welled up with tears. "I just..."

Instantly, you placed a hand on his back, coincidentally right on his heart. You could feel how fast it was beating, as if it was a drum going at a tempo of a 300 bpm. Empathy was something you could never run from, it was engraved into you. On your own, your hand rubbed his back while your hand hand pinched the collar of his hoodie to wipe his tears with it.

And through Ollie's tears, he couldn't help but stare at you. Staring at the woman he lost. Regret was all he could feel, he wanted to pour his heart out to you. The way he's never been the same since you left.

So much has happened since he left you. He got with the random blonde girl you saw on Instagram but she ended up cheating on him. He ran out of the skincare you bought him but he's been too exhausted to go outside to buy a new batch. He couldn't focus on his races or training at all, having massive muscle loss due to not eating properly. He couldn't even go home to his family, since they bombarded him with question about you and how they missed you.

What broke him the most was how his baby sister, the sweetest girl in the world, always asked when you come over again. How she complained about losing her future "sister-in-law". And he felt the same way, he missed you 10 times more than his sister could even fathom.

You both stood there awkwardly in the restaurant. Still wiping his tears which he was fighting back against. Luckily no one was looking, since you were both slightly tucked away from the public view. You stayed like this for a few minutes until Ollie broke the silence.

"I miss you." His voice shaky. As he looked down at you, his big brown eyes that you loved were just as shiny as they were the night you kissed him. His hand reached for your cheek, cupping them as he stared at you, cherishing you.

But you cut his time short, gently removing his hands off your face as you looked at him. You didn't have the heart to say it, although he deserved it and worse, but you just shook your head.

And instantly Ollie understood, retracting his hands and putting them into his hoodie pocket. His nodded, looking down once again as his tears fell onto the cold floor.

"I'm sorry,"

Kimi Antonelli | 04

The rest of the day was filled with anxiety and overthinking, while Kimi was having a usual day. He was completely unaware of your inner turmoil, unaware of how you were now looking at his advances with a new light. Nothing was the same anymore, you felt like you barely knew him now.

The way you two went to lunch like usual. He finished his packing and insisted on taking you to lunch for a goodbye. Sitting side by side instead of across from each other, like usual, because he insisted to stay close to you. How he always touched you in some way, whether his knee touching yours or his hand straight up holding yours for a few seconds, because he insisted he needed to feel you. How he complimented you and smiled, but you saw through him now; his "smile" has always been a smirk.

You finished eating together, unable to reply to him with full energy or concentration. He caught on, offering to drop you home early and cut the hangout short. You thanked whoever was above for giving you an easy way out. Getting into his car was awkward for the first time in ages. The last time you felt "awkward" in his car was when you were first ever becoming friends, you always found him cute so it was exciting to be with him. You wonder if he knew you were awkward back then, maybe that's why he kept you around: to play with your emotions.

Finally getting to your house, you shut the door and was unable to look back at him to wave goodbye like usual. He noticed, of course he did, but he didn't push it. Thankfully, he would be gone for least a week due to him needing to do some pre-season preparation for his car and suits.

The second you got home, your facade broke down. Tears streamed down your face before you were even able to process them. Your mind was racing with a million thoughts: were you just a game?, did you mean nothing to him the whole time?, was he just toying you for fun?, did he always knew you liked him?, and how the fuck did you not see through him for months on end?

You felt so stupid, as if "idiot" was plastered across your forehead. Months, weeks, hours spent together doing basically everything a girlfriend and boyfriend did: for nothing, All of those cheesy date nights where Kimi introduced you as his girlfriend as a "joke" was nothing. Seeing his family who welcomed you with open arms was just another night for Kimi. Even admitting your deepest insecurities, something you never let anyone know, and how softly he comforted you, was just a casual day.

Being led on is one of the worst feelings ever, and you never felt it until this point. The heart ache, realizing that you were just a bit of fun for him. Your eyes couldn't even process the room in front of you, completely washed out from your tears. Your legs shaking from how heavy you body suddenly felt. How could he do this? The sweet boy who gleefully volunteered to teach you Italian. Something so innocent turned into months of you falling in love.

Weeks passed with constant texts from Kimi. Always asking how you were, why you were ignoring him, and if you wanted to meet up. But he quickly got the hint that you were no longer interested in being friends. He tried to get answers from you, visiting your house but you weren't home: instead you were being comforted by your best friend for weeks while you cried your heart out.

He gave up on you, no longer bothering to text and call you. He stopped coming to your house, your parents never saw him again nor did your security cameras. Although he never came to your physically, he couldn't leave your mind mentally.

Thankfully, your best friend was able to snap you back into your true self. It took many weeks of crying and multiple boxes of tissues, but you survived the "grief" phase and moved on from every other stage. All stages by anger.

As the months passed, you saw him in F2 having a great season: and that enraged you. How could he be having such a great season while you were picking up the shattered pieces of yourself. How could there be possible rumors of him moving up to F1 to drive for Mercedes when he hasn't even apologized to you once. It was driving you crazy: motivating you to do better.

Although you couldn't beat his career achievements, they were insanely impressive, you found something even better. You realized you had an amazing friend alongside you the whole time, Jak Crawford. Your best friend was amazing help, but Jak was too.

He went from a casual friend to your new boyfriend, and you couldn't be more grateful. Everything you had with Kimi, you had with Jak: but even better. Date nights with Kimi were always a bit awkward, you blamed it on teen love. But with Jak, it felt so natural and open, he let you say the most insane things and would agree with you.

Jak was everything you could ask for and more. Flowers on every date, stupid jokes that made you cry from laughing, and his family was so welcoming to you as well. He showed you off to his friends, even getting you matching jewelry to make sure everyone knew you were "his", something Kimi would have never done despite how much he acted like it. Jak was real, and he truly was proud to have you as his girlfriend.

So when he asked to bring you to his next race in Spa, you were honored but scared of seeing Kimi again. But he insisted, saying it was the last before the summer break and he wanted to be able to show you off the media and introduce you to his best mates on the grid. So when he said that, how could you possibly say no.

Now you were in the garage, waiting to greet Jak after his race. He finished 3rd which was amazing! You couldn't be more proud of him. But he was busy with interviews and a post-race talk, so you'd be there for about an hour or two before he was free. So you sat down outside, watching the rest of the racers cool down while the engineers and mechanics worked like crazy.

But as you observed the scene, you didn't notice how Kimi came up behind you. When you saw him, you jumped, your eyes widening as you stared at him. You wanted to ask what he was doing here, but it would be much more appropriate for him to ask you that.

"(Y/N)," He said you name with a sweet tone, his eyes looking at you with a glossy overcoat. "Why are you here?"

From his body language and tone, you could tell he was assuming it was for him. But, it wasn't filled with malice or cockiness, but instead a sense of gratitude for you caring for him. Unlucky for him, you were actually here for your loving boyfriend.

"Here to watch the race," Yet for some reason, you felt nervous to say boyfriend. Scared, as if you were cheating on Kimi by getting with Jak. But you knew you two were never together, for crying out loud he said he would never date you.

"T-that's nice..." he said, as he looked to the side, suddenly feeling embarrassed about his 9th place finish. "So, did you have fun?"

"Yeah I did," You say awkwardly fiddling with your necklace that had a "J" on it. Kimi quickly noticed it, his eyes fixated on it as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Who's J?" He said, his tone slightly angry and hurt, he felt betrayed for some odd reason - but he knew deep down he had no right. He knew how he treated you was awful.

His was running wild, filled with so many thoughts. Worried if you saw how he messed up a few times during the race and if you laughed at him. Wondering if you saw his other races and how great he did for a rookie. Wondering if you heard the rumors of him possibly moving up to F1. But most importantly: he wanted- no, he needed to know, did you miss him?

But before he get the answer to any of those, he felt his heart get crushed. As Jak came behind you, wrapping his arm over your shoulder so easily. Kimi's eyes watched as your hand naturally came up to gently hold onto Jak's hand, as if you've been doing this for months already.

And that's when it hit him: J was for Jak...

Kimi's face was wiped clean of any emotion, left completely blank inside as his eyes darted between you two. He could finally get a taste of how you felt: the only difference was that you didn't lead him on for months on end.

"What are you guys talking about?" Jak asked, he knew your past with Kimi all too well. He was one of the very few people who calmed you down from your many panic attacks whenever you saw Kimi post or even got a memory of him.

You were unsure of what to say, although you felt 10 times more comfortable with Jak around you, you still felt awkward around Kimi. But you decided to end Kimi's misery of staring at you both.

"Nothing," you say casually. You gave Jak's hand two squeezes, a secret signal you both made to tell the other that you wanted to leave in uncomfortable situations.

"Good race, Kimi." Jak said, as he patted Kimi's back extra aggressively. As you both walked away, Kimi was still left speachless.

And for the first time in ages, you didn't care how he felt.

Paul Aron | 17

Avoiding Paul was basically impossible. Although being around him made you anxious, making your blood rush from your head to your toes and your heart freeze: you were teammates and had to stay together. Luckily, you were able to avoid him for only a week due to having different schedules for media and training.

But once again, you two were forced together: something you used to be grateful for. Now you dreaded it, memories rushing in your head of how you and him having the best time ever. His words from last week kept ringing in your head, driving you insane. "It's against our contract" he said, and yet you still smelled him on your pillows at night. Although you agreed to just be friend with benefits, you couldn't handle the idea of not being Paul's, and vice versa.

You were sick of the constant yearning, you knew this relationship was holding you back from finding a true partner that cherished you and showed you off. So, with the help of your best friend, you planned an entire script of how to break things off with Paul.

It was a harsh process, ripping your guts out to even think of it. You couldn't bare the thought of losing Paul. Even though there's a high chance that you two could just stay friends, you weren't sure you'd be able to do that since you loved him. Something you were too scared to say for ages. But you felt it deep inside of you all along, even before you two became friends with benefits.

The only reason you stayed as his fuck-partner for so long was in fear that you'd ruin your teamwork, but also because you were mortified that this would be all of Paul that you could get. You kept quiet for so long just to keep him beside you, even if you wanted more. Because in your mind, you were grateful for even a crumb of him.

As you and Paul were forced to film a quick video, you put on the facade that everything was okay. As if you didn't fight back tears in whilst doing your makeup because of how anxious you were. As if you didn't have snot run down your face as you cried to your best friend about how much you loved him, not caring that he only saw you for your body.

After the video finished, you walked towards your drivers room in a haste. Your driver room and Paul's room were directly next to each other, you wanted to avoid him as much as possible until you felt fully ready to break things off with him.

It was eating you alive, you couldn't even focus on the room around you. Your engineers and mechanics called your name, but you didn't bat an eye, unable to even decipher what they were saying. It was as if you were in a trance, unable to break free from the spell.

But as you walked into your drivers room, you let out a small sigh of relief. Being alone was much better, the pressure of people's eyes on you quickly left your head. You closed your eyes, trying to focus on the your other senses, like touch and smell, in order to calm down.

But even that was impossible. Because the entire room smelled like Paul. The scent of his slightly woodsy and masculine cologne that mixed with his natural smell was a like a high for you. The entire room felt warm, as if he standing right behind you to give you a hug. And you were right.

"Hey," Paul says lowly, scaring you as your eyes jolted open "Why'd you run out of the video?"

From the way he was smirking, the way he was reaching out for your face and waist, and the way he was looking at you with low eyes: you knew exactly what he wanted from you. But you couldn't do it anymore.

Being with him was eating you alive. Constantly leaving you unsatisfied, yearning for more. But you couldn't get more, so you kept settling for the scraps of love and affection he could give you without the official title of his "girlfriend". It was so hard to describe how you felt and why you felt it.

It's hard to not give in to what he wants, when you love him so dearly that you'd give into anything he asked for. It's hard to not love him when you remember how tenderly he loved you and held you during tough times. But it's hard to want to stay with him when you knew deep down, this wasn't healthy.

You stepped backwards, barely escaping his reach. He looked at you with a puzzled look, instantly retracting his hands. But instead of being mad or upset like most men, he instantly looked concerned.

"I'm sorry, are you not in the mood?" He said cautiously, "is everything okay?"

No, nothing is okay, I love you and yet I can't have you although you're right in front of me - is what you wanted to say. You wanted to scream how you hated yourself for letting him use you and yet you wanted you sob in his arms about how much you miss him despite him standing right there.

But instead of saying any of those thoughts, your body reacted on it's own. Tears slipped out of your eyes, too overwhelmed from the emotions of everything. You hated it, you hated how your body was ruining the perfect script you made with your best friend. But you knew it was either now or never, so you broke the silence in the room.

"I can't do this anymore, Paul." You said softly, your throat closing up as you spoke. As if your own body was rejecting your brain. "I can't..." You said as you looked down at the floor, tears fully pouring out.

He reached to comfort you, understanding what you were implying. "I uh... I'm so sorry, of course we can stop." But you could tell he didn't understand the depths of what you meant by that.

"No Paul, not just "stop" but cut this all off completely." You said as you looked him in the eyes, "I love you."

His eyes widened, taking a step back. This was the complete opposite reaction you wanted, but you predicted this was a possibility. You sighed, already able to tell that he didn't feel the same towards you. He was left speechless and yet you were left wanting to say thousands of words to him, describing in detail of how you loved every single aspect of him and how it ruined you to settle just for friend with benefits, but you couldn't.

"I know you don't feel the same.. And that's why I need space.." You said, with lots of small pauses in between to allow your sniffles and small hick-ups to come out. "I can't take this anymore. It hurts, it hurts to see you and not have you. It hurts to know I'm nothing to you when you're everything to me."

Thank God it was summer break, meaning you didn't have to face him. It was the best thing you could wish for, since you knew being around him would just have you burst out into tears. But that didn't stop you from crying still, it was impossible not to considering how deeply you fell for Paul.

But your best friend and friend group wouldn't allow you to stoop so low, so they kept you constantly busy. They uplifted you in every way possible, always reminding you that you didn't need Paul and that he's dumb for not seeing you for you. But they still kept it civil enough since they knew he was stuck as your teammate for the rest of the reason, and possibly a year or two after the season ended.

You enjoyed your summer break in California, enjoying every single part of it. From San Francisco's city life, Santa Cruz's chill beaches, and San Jose's lavish malls. It was a dream for you to do this trip with all of your friends. It was also a great opportunity for you to glow up during this time by changing your hair, getting a bunch of new clothes, finally investing in some life changing stuff (like the expensive ass Dyson hair that you always wanted and the $400 facial that made your skin look brand new).

So when your vacation was coming to an end, you couldn't help but feel dread, a huge pit in your stomach that you kept filling with distractions only grew hungrier and hungrier. With only a week left of vacation, you were forced to say goodbye to your friends and California as you traveled to Italy for your race in Monza.

They called it a "four week summer break" but it was really just a three week break, considering you needed to lock-in one week prior to the actual grand prix to prepare for the race. It made you want to scream and hide in your bed forever, but your confidence has grown within those three weeks, you were decently prepared to face Paul.

But what you weren't prepared to face was someone else, someone you've never seen before in your entire life. Some random brunette girl, she was drop dead gorgeous. Although grid girls weren't a thing anymore, you were fully convinced she must be one considering her beauty and amazing body. You walked up to her, excited to see another woman in the paddock in F2 that wasn't an engineer or mechanic.

As you took steps towards her, someone beat you to it: Paul Aron. And as if luck suddenly turned his back against you, you watched as Paul's hand snuck around her waist. She looked towards him, her face instantly lighting up into a big smile as a soft giggle left her lips. And he copies her, giving her the same sweet smile that you knew so well.

And suddenly, that confidence was all gone. Your new hair didn't matter, new clothes weren't anything special, and that facial was for nothing. Because as you looked in front of you, you were hit with the hard truth: that you were just a body for him.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Those sweet reassurance he gave you when you felt insecure about your body, you weren't sure if he was being honest or just trying to get into your pants. The times you snuck out of practice or the paddock together, giggling from the fear of being caught, just to go get ice cream, maybe it was just him buttering you up so he could use you. When he would invite you to his DJing events and show you how to mix the audios together, placing his big hand on top of yours as he gently guided your fingers to lift and pull different levers and buttons, you assume it meant nothing to him at all.

The rest of the season went by in slow motion, as if it was torturing you with ever millisecond. Every single day felt like a chore for you, almost making you lose your love for racing entirely. After three more races in Baki, Lusail, and Yas Island, you were finally free. And this time, it wasn't a mere three weeks, but instead a full four month break.

A whole quarter of a year, and you planned to use the most of it. It took a while to regain your sanity and click back into reality. What better way to do that than to reconnect with friends in your hometown. It was just like those old cheesy rom-coms.

A busy girl heads back to her hometown to rest, and that's when she meets a sweet boy who's the exact thing she needs: calmness and stability. That's when you met your current partner, and he was all that you could imagine and more. He was basically perfect, besides from his annoying dad jokes, which you secretly loved.

He fulfilled you in every way possible, healing parts of you that you didn't even know about. His energy brought out your inner child, letting you be your true self without the mask of the media watching. He listened to everything you said, remembering every small detail you ever shared. For example, you said you used to love watching Disney as a kid, always loving the princesses - so he surprised you with tickets to Disneyland, even getting Fast Pass to ensure you got to do all of the rides you wanted.

Although your hometown was a medium-income area, he was rich due to his parents being in real estate. He was next in line to fufill the legacy, taking in tons of houses and apartments once he became of age. Which was perfect for you, the complete opposite of Formula 2. The climb to Formula 1 was always uncertain for many, only the very top percent of people were able to make it up there. So knowing that if one day Formula failed, you'd have him to fall back on.

It was as if God saw what happened between you and Paul and felt pity for you, sending him as a apology. And you accepted it, 100%.

So when the 2025 season started and you were yet again forced to be teammates with Paul, you weren't as scared or anxious as you were in 2024. Instead, you were neutral, completely over the drama since your boyfriend was able to calm you down and ground you in reality. You always thought that instead of real estate that your boyfriend should go into psychiatry, since he always knew how to help you improve yourself.

As you stepped into the paddock, saying hello to all of your engineers and mechanics for the first time in ages, you were so happy. You rediscovered your love for Formula, feeling the spark to win more than ever. It felt like home once again, the one thing you loved more than anything.

While you were chatting with your mechanics, catching up on how their winter break went, you saw Paul step in. And yet, you felt fine. Your heart didn't drop to your stomach like it did for days on end during 2024. Your eyes didn't fight back tears by batting your eyelashes a million times. Your blood felt still, your brain felt stable, and your lungs weren't crushed by a thousand bricks: you were fine around him now.

As the mechanics left, leaving you alone with Paul - you felt nothing. You felt completely neutral around him. Although he hurt you badly, ruining you for multiple months, you didn't have the guts to hate him. Because at one point in your life, he was your everything, and you realized it wasn't his fault if he didn't feel the same. Of course, how he used you and led you on was cruel, but you blamed it on the fact that you were both young and dumb. You had forgiven him, already moved on to the new chapter starting in your life.

When you and Paul were friends, you'd be chatting for hours on end about stupid topics. But now, the room was silent. For you, it was comfortable silence. But for Paul, he was shifting in his seat, bouncing his leg and biting his lip. He was looking at you, waiting for you to look back at him and say hello - but you were busy watching the clouds pass and the other teams' mechanics work on their car. Paul cleared his throat, able to tell that you wouldn't be speaking to him unless provoked.

"(Y/N)." He said, his voice sounded hoarse for some reason. When you turned to face him, you suddenly understood why - he was crying.

Instantly, you panicked, feeling as if you did something wrong. You shifted, facing him entirely as you fought the urge to wipe his tears. "Are you okay?" You asked, concerned.

He shook his head, biting his lip even harder as he rested his head in-between his hands as he began to sob. You reached besides you, grabbing tissues from a randomly convenient tissue box. Handing it to him, he used it to wipe his tears. His body was faced towards you and his head was faced away, he was hiding his red tear stained face from you.

"I..." He said slowly, gaining the courage to tour towards you and look at you. His poor posture and shaking shoulders made him look weak as he looked up at your eyes. "I'm so sorry... for everything, for being such a dick."

Unable to handle seeing him in such a fragile state, you cracked. "It's okay," You say gently, trying to ease his mind from the guilt, despite him deserving it for the Hell he put you through.

"No, no it's not okay. I was such a dick. A-And I was just, lying to everyone the whole time." He said, before he began to quickly ramble whilst slurring his words "I thought I didn't need you, that I didn't love you. So I let you go, got with some random chick, and then I realized that she wasn't what I wanted.. She was so far from it... I wanted you, I needed you. I wanted to tell you for ages but I couldn't since I felt so stupid and dumb. And then I heard you moved on, and now, now I'm-" His voice cracked, his sudden word-vomit coming to a halt as he softly said, "I'm sorry."

You could tell that it was weighing on him heavily. His obvious inner turmoil was making you emotional, finally getting the closure that you secretly needed to validate yourself. But you knew that he needed his closure too. It was going to hurt him, but you knew it needed to be done.

"I'm sorry, Paul." You said softly, grabbing another tissue as you gingerly wiped his tears away. It was as if he melted into your touch, his face gravitated towards your hand on his own. "I'm glad you see what you did wrong, but I hope you know that I'm happy now."

Arthur Leclerc | 65

After that boat ride, you and Arthur didn't see each other for a very long time. You wanted to see him, but you could tell that it would be extremely awkward if you did. He left you completely in the dark for a while, until he sent you a text. When you got his text after 3 days of no contact, you were so excited. You were crossing your fingers, hoping that maybe he'd be okay with actually dating - even though you knew this outcome was extremely unlikely.

And you were right, that outcome was basically impossible. Arthur texted you, simply stating: "I think the joke has gone on for too long, it's best if we end this fake-dating. I'm sorry (Y/N), you're great but I don't feel the same way."

He barely typed anything at all, which hurt even more. The fact that you weren't even worth a paragraph or just a few more sentences spoke thousands of words to you. You could tell that he didn't value you, that you were just a bit of fun for him to have whilst getting the convince of not dealing with all of those fangirls.

It was rough at first, but you managed to pull through. You went through all the stages of grief required to move on, from crying, screaming, begging God for a different outcome: only to be constantly met with the same ending, nothing changing.

To rub salt into the wound, fans were going crazy over your "break up". To the fans, it was as if they were watching their mom and dad divorce. They screamed and cried all over social media, making multiple sad edits. They even tried to pry into the reason for the break up, some going as far to spam you with DMs and emails, begging for an interview or at least some closure.

You denied all of these, of course, deciding that Arthur should be the one in charge of this PR disaster since he's the one that wanted the break up anyways. He settled on the fact that you two just didn't work out since you were busy with school and he was busy with racing. You scoffed at his answer, but understood it was the easiest way to let the fans and media die down.

The drama did die down, but he ruined it. Arthur got drunk at a party, celebrating his brother's excellent race week. Getting drunk wasn't the bad part, the bad part was when Arthur was filmed by his friends drunkenly saying that he never needed you and that you just "kept the hoes away". His friend group smirked and laughed.

But the media wasn't happy at all. The story went from a simple break up to a complete dumpster fire overnight. Fans were no longer begging for answers on the break up, instead they were sending you comforts and reassurance that you were lovely. Even photographers and journalists came out to support you, sharing how you were such a sweetheart to be around.

Somehow, the drama worsened even more as some mechanics and engineers got inspired by the Arthur hate train, as they began to come out with their own stories with Arthur. They shared how Arthur was sometimes difficult, using his status as Charles little brother over others. They even shared how they would notice Arthur neglect you at times in order to do his own tasks, despite the fact that you would drop everything you were doing just to serve him.

The entirety of Formula turned against him in a snap, he was now seen as the ungrateful brother and rude boyfriend. You'd be lying if you said you weren't a little happy that his karma got served to him.

Luckily, you were smart and was able to make a profit off of this whole drama. Many brands each out to you to become their sponsor, offering you modeling gigs and the opportunity to film commercials. You took all of those, even beginning to share your own vlogs. The media loved your personality and how down to earth you were. Not only that, but you were extremely funny and witty, making them love you even more.

You were no longer known as Arthur's girlfriend, but instead as you. Which was amazing, meaning you'd never need to think of him much again.

That is, until he decided to do something so stupid. So so stupid, even stupider than you asking what you were with him. He flew to your country, knocked on your door, and waited outside for hours on end. You looked through your security camera, completely in denial that he was actually outside.

But he was. It was Arthur. He was holding a huge bouquet of flowers, you could even see small white boxed in the bouquet. They were definitely filled with expensive jewelry of some kind. He was also dragging a small wagon with him, which held even more gifts. Things ranging from adorable stuffed animals, your favorite chocolates, and every expensive thing you've ever wanted but never felt worthy enough to purchase.

You ignored him, not wanting to see him after how he led you on. You were doing so much better without him, you literally flourished the second he left your life. But he didn't care, he waited outside for hours on end. Even when it reached 11pm, he didn't care. Instead, he hopped into his car, and fell asleep.

By the time you woke up, he was waiting by your door yet again. He wasn't allowing you out of the house without hearing him out first. His stubbornness and your need to go to the grocery store finally made you step outside.

And as you opened the door, it was as if he just saw God himself. The way his eyes lit up, his lips slightly parting, and his hands instead pushing him off the ground to stand on his feet. He was in awe to see you, as if you weren't real.

"(Y/N)," He said breathless, hearing your name in his voice was so odd yet comforting. "Finally," He said with a small smirk to lighten the mood.

"What do you want?" You said, annoyed as you leaned against your door frame.

"You."

"Pfft!" You said in his face, shocked at how quickly he changed.

How he went from looking at you down in disgust as you admitted you loved him - to now being messy and dirty from sitting on your porch for almost 18 hours. It was insane to you that he could ever think that you'd want him back, especially with how happy you were now.

[igotanidea]

Choice: Jason Todd x reader

Jason and Y/N had been dating for a while now, but as of late he could hardly recognize her.

The shy and innocent girl turned into a bitch boss, confident, wearing high heels and expensive clothes, buying lingerie and going all high class.

Obviously, he did not complain, seeing her all powerful and sexy and when he got to slowly peel that lingerie off her during intimacy, but she suddenly started flying so high above him it was not good for his confidence. Confidence that was already shuttered.

***

She was sitting in front of the dressing table’s mirror, doing her hair and makeup, because shockingly, she decided she wanted to "party". She never wanted to "party" before. And he got a little alerted when she put on the red lipstick and eye shadow that made her look like a million dollars, while knowing what kind of men were regulars at the club she was heading into.

“I thought we could spent some time together—” he started hesitantly, not sure how to approach the elephant in the room. On one hand he wanted to just tie her to that stupid chair to make her stay with him, on the other – she’s never been more radiant and happy and ruining it would make him hate himself.

“And I thought you were going on patrol –“ she retorted fixing her hair and making a few flirty faces to the mirror.

“I was, but—”

“Then I believe those two are mutually exclusive, don’t you?”

“I could ditch it tonight.” He sighed, getting a little desperate. Abandoning his duties was an impossible choice but he would do it. For her. Just to convince her to stay.  

“And yet, we both know you won’t.”

“Y/N—”

“It’s okay Jason. Let’s just go with the night like we both planned, okay?” She reached for her bag and high heels and he suddenly felt like a reprimanded schoolboy.

“I miss you—” he almost whimpered. The big scary 6’0 225 Ibs Red Hood Jason Todd whimpered. And only for a second a glimpse of something familiar (concern? affection?) reflected in her eyes. She opened her mouth, raised her hand as if trying to cup his cheek –

Jason closed his eyes, waiting for the long-awaited reminder of what used to be between them—

It never happened.

Instead he heard the door closing in on him as she left and he was left alone.

Again.

Without as little as a kiss goodbye a single word of farewell, a squeeze of his hand or – truly – anything.

Just silence and coldness. He was used to it once. But when she had come into his life turning all the misery into happiness he got used to the warmth. And now, being deprived of it after tasting was hurtful and stung more than any cut or bruise he could get on his body.  

***

The patrol wrapped up around 3 am. And she was still not back In their little apartment. But the bottles were.

Without thinking, tossing his red hood helmet aside, Jason opened the fridge and took a greedy sip of beer. Then another. And another.

And then the time and space became completely irrelevant as the pile of empty bottles on the floor kept growing and his head was spinning.

She didn’t love him anymore.

He wasn’t good enough for her. Obviously.

He was a walking mess while she was out having the time of her life, getting men’s attention which she duly deserved. Men who would be better for her then him. Better than a scum coming back home bloodied and bruised, dragging her into troubles and constantly putting her into danger.

He should just forget about her. Leave her be.

She’s so beautiful and kind and sweet and innocent.

He should just forget about her and let her live her best life.

Even if it means leaving her.

Maybe he was destined to be alone after all. With all the blood and pain he left behind him, how could he ever expect anything more than loneliness and karma?

Jason reached for the nearest empty bottle and with the loud, almost animalistic roar threw it onto the wall making the glass shatter into million tiny pieces on the floor. But there was no way he would stop there. Shakily, drunkenly moving to a sitting position, he threw everything off the table. Watching as the tableware broke and not having any remorse about it. Then throwing the table upside down. It seemed like the alcohol made him act on his darkest self, pushing him to break and destroy. After all he was just that. Destroyer. A monster.

And when he almost started tearing off the couch his hands stumbled upon his phone on the pillow.

And the rage turned into deep sorrow.

Not so surprising given how wasted he was.

So maybe it shouldn’t also have been surprising that his brain figured out it would be a good idea to call Y/N and threw all of his emotions into her face.

Uh-huh…

***

“Jason?” her voice hit his ears, barely audible above the sound of club music and the crowd of people.

“Y/N—”

“Wait- wait a second I need to –” for a second she turned inaudible almost as if she was walking. “Now…” the silence that fell in the background only confirmed the previous theory “what’s going on?”

“Y/N—” his voice turned into a drunken sob, the resolve to have a proper, adult-like conversation melted like a snow in the sun.

“Jason?” Y/N became alerted and it was quite obvious even though he could not see her face expression.

“Why don’t you love me anymore?!”

“What?”

“You’re always leaving me… you are never home and we used to be so close together… so w-wh-why?”

“Jason, listen to me-“

“No! No you listen to me, I am here all alone and I probably deserve it, but I still love you so much and I don’t want to lose you but if you want to break up then-“

“Jason are you drunk?!”

Unbeknown to her, Jason took a look around the apartment, taking in the pile of glass and mess he left behind.

“What did you do?” The longer he was silent, the more she knew he was wasted like hell.

“I miss you-“

“How much did you drink?”

“I don’t know –“

“How much Jason?!”

“I don’t fucking know!”

“Where are you? Are you home? Just tell me you’re home and not patrolling or anything.”

“I’m home…” he slurred.

“Great. Just stay there. I have to go now.” Y/N nodded head to her company signaling she would join them in just a minute, making a carefree face as if she wasn’t just on the phone with her desperate, drunk, brokenhearted boyfriend.

“Y/n!”

“I’m serious. Stay where you are.”

“Please… please come home… we can fix whatever broke us… I need you, I want us to be us again… please…”

“Jason, just stay where you are and don’t do anything stupid-“

Those were the last words he heard before she disconnected, stepping on his poor, fragile heart. He couldn’t fight anymore, letting himself drift to darkness.

Alone…

***

It was almost midday when he opened his eyes next time. The sun shone through the window, immediately making him squirm with a groan. He had a terrible hangover and everything was too much. But the small changes that happened to magically take place overnight didn’t escape him.

Surprisingly he was covered with a warm, soft blanket he couldn’t remember putting on. Was he that drunk that it influenced and/or damaged his brain? What else did he do? Did he hurt someone? Did he--?

Oh.

He called her.

He called Y/N.

What did he say? Holy shit, did he break up with her? He couldn’t recall anything, but whatever words fell out of his mouth couldn’t have been good.

She didn’t deserve it.

He had to clear that misunderstanding out. Make her realize that he was more than just a weepy man-child and –

Ugh!

His head and eyes were killing him.

But even through heavy eyelids and pounding pain he noticed that the bottles were gone from the floor and table, the broken pieces of tableware cleared. The entire apartment seemed different somehow and not only because of the tidy, though he couldn’t capture why. And – there was also an ibuprofen and a glass of water on the nightstand and a strangely alluring smell of coffee, eggs and bacon coming from the kitchen.

What was happening?

He groaned, massaging his temples and the sound caused an audible shift in the kitchen, then the opening of the bedroom door and Y/N peeking inside. Looking just like the girl he used to know. Without vivid makeup and flashy, revealing outfit, with a natural face, innocent eyes, dressed simply in leggings and his shirt, with her hair down.

So sweet and beautiful. His angel and salvation that must have been only an imagination, cause there was no chance she was actually here after whatever shit he dropped on her last night.

“Hey….” The angel whispered, closing the curtains shut so the light wouldn’t irritate his eyes. “How are you feeling?” Soft, warm palm landed on his forehead to check his temperature. “Gave me quite a scare last night. Came here and found you drunk with all those bottles and mess and –“

“Y/N? Is that you?”

“Yeah, yeah baby, it’s me. Hope you weren’t expecting anything else?”

“Is this a dream….” He muttered closing his eyes, enjoying the way her touch was bringing him so much comfort.

“I assure you it’s real…”

“I’m sorry—" Jason tried to open his eyes, but dropped the attempt the moment they started watering.

“Hush… Don’t think about it now” Y/N kissed his forehead tenderly “Just rest…”

Despite the fact that she was so loving and soft and acting just like the girl he fell for, it also made him wary and confused. Was this another game she was playing? Was this just another way to break his already broken heart?

“We have to talk. Now.” Not giving a damn about her protests, he sat up straight, opening eyes and turning serious. “The hell’s been going on with you lately? Why the fancy friends and fancy parties and fancy lifestyle? Cause you being a high-class girlfriend may have so charm, but not if you’re also turning into a fucking mean girl!���

“Jason, listen I just—”

“No! No, you will fucking listen to me now!” Jason yelled, his weariness and hangover already forgotten as the rage took over. He needed explanation. He deserved it. And moreover, he demanded it. Cause if Y/N though he would just let her fool around, toy with him, lie and deceive she was dead wrong. And he was way past begging for her attention.

“Jace-“ she whimpered, quickly realizing that her boyfriend was past convincing, the sudden fear reflecting in his eyes. Good. Very good. She was supposed to be scared. Terrified. Cause now he was going to confront her and he was not taking any bullshit.

“You will talk now.” Her wrist ended in his iron grip. “Did you cheat on me?!”

“What?!” she whimpered

“Did you cheat on me!?”

“NO!”

“Liar!” he yelled, causing her to start sobbing.

“Jason, Ja-jason, please.. it was just work- and I was getting into a new role and – and-“

“Liar!” he yelled again.

“But when you called me last night and said all those things—" she sobbed and he stopped “when you said you missed me and you were lonely and –“ Jason blushed, realizing he must have made quite a fool out of himself in that conversation he couldn’t even remember. “I just dropped the whole act and –”

“Don’t shit me Y/n.” he warned, though his heart was already yearning to hug her, wipe her tears and make her feel safe.

“I’m not. I’m not. I swear… When I came home yesterday and saw you like this - God, Jason, I am so sorry baby—”

“No. No, please don’t apologize…” finally he pulled her to his chest, cradling her head and brushing her hair softly. “I did my shit too. Should have asked you what was going on instead of getting wasted and giving you a heart attack.”

“I should have just told you, instead of becoming a full-time bitch.”

“Yeah…” Jason sighed “guess we drifted apart, didn’t we?”

“I don’t want it. I never wanted it…”

“I know princess. Me neither. But now we have to figure out if we can move forward and be better.”

“We can.”

“It’s not something you can just decide on arbitrarily.”

“Are you trying to break up with me….?”

“No. But perhaps we didn’t take into consideration that dating would be hard work. So the question is whether we can put it in. And perhaps we should take some time to think about it.”

“Okay.” Though her heart was breaking she could see his point. Their relationship was messy and emotional and explosive. Constant rollercoaster. And maybe it was time to turn into adults and level the ride.  To find out whether they could work shit out and get stronger or break for good.

[heliads]

Hello <3 I was wondering if maybe you could write a charles leclerc fic?? Reader could be in charge of social media and fans start to realise that charles flirts with whoever is behind the camera? Sorry if its too vague, but I love your writing and had to send something in

i cheered audibly when i saw this, please let me write more f1 fics

masterlist

When you were just getting started with your career, someone once asked you if you’d ever consider running a social media campaign for something cute, like a zoo or rescue company. You answered them with a firm no; everyone knows animals never work on camera the way you want them to, and you didn’t want that sort of stress in your life. 

You think the universe must be laughing at you, because funnily enough, what you’re doing right now is exactly like herding cats, but you don’t even get adorable animals for your troubles. No, the Formula One media circus is a nightmare, but it’s a well televised nightmare, and that means your job as head of social media for the Scuderia Ferrari F1 team entails a great deal more metaphorical manhandling of the drivers than you’d ever envisioned.

It’s not even metaphorical all the time, the manhandling. Sometimes it’s just you sending out a great deal of mass emails when someone says something they probably shouldn’t or the Ferrari TikTok page is going through a content drought, but sometimes it’s more. Sometimes it’s like today, when you’re forcing the two drivers to go through yet another competition so the YouTube channel can get another push of subscribers.

You’ve done a lot of careful research over the months that you’ve been here, all dedicated to finding out just what sells the best, so to speak. As of late, you’ve learned that the viewers at home really like competitions and challenge videos. Apparently seeing two men who are obviously great friends go head to head over something as pointless as music trivia or Ping Pong is the pinnacle of motorsport content.

It’s not like you’re complaining. More views means a better paycheck for you at the end of the year. The fans like what you’re producing, and Ferrari likes the fans. It all works out in the end, and who are you to deny the Tifosi their favorite entertainment?

Of course, if you were to actually tell the two red-suited drivers that you refer to them as content and entertainment in the private recesses of your own mind, they probably wouldn’t be too happy. That’s why you keep that to yourself. Besides, they’re your friends. Charles and Carlos may make a lot of problems in your life, but who doesn’t? You’re not exactly perfect either. 

You don’t have to be perfect, though, you just have to come up with good ideas and let the boys be funny on their own. Charles said he liked that best about you, actually, that you let them do their own thing most of the time. The previous social media managers had tried to get them to fit this specific picture of what a Ferrari driver should be, but you never did that. You just wanted them to be them. 

You’re perfectly willing to brush that off as a compliment to a coworker, though. In truth, you’re working constantly to paint these two in the best possible light. It gets stressful sometimes, constantly wracking your brain to make each video work, each post take off. You are affecting how millions of people see Charles and Carlos. Hell, you’re practically filtering their legacy all by yourself. 

It’s not a task you take lightly, to say the least. Maybe that’s why Ferrari is content to keep you around. This is a job that you’d like to extend as long as you can. Just like Charles has worked with overly pushy social media handlers, you’ve worked with total diva clients. Neither of the Ferrari drivers are like that in the slightest, which you appreciate more than anything. 

That isn’t to say that they only ever make your life easy. Right now, for instance, you’ve been begging them to focus for the better part of ten minutes. It’s like working with elementary schoolers. You put anything in front of them and they’re totally distracted before you’ve so much as told them what they’re supposed to be doing. 

Today’s video of choice is a long-anticipated cooking video. Charles versus Carlos, the drivers have been given a mystery basket of ingredients à la Chopped. They’ll have half an hour to come up with a dish of choice, and if the time crunch weren’t enough to stress them out, you’ll be judging their culinary creations when time is called. It’s the perfect setup for a hit video, so if all goes well, you’ll see this on the trending page soon enough. 

That is, if you manage to survive this encounter long enough to post the results. By the time you manage to wrangle the drivers’ attention back to you, Charles has attempted to learn the contents of the bag through interpretive dance and hand gestures with the cameramen and Carlos has accidentally turned his stove on thrice. The third time the fires clicked on, he almost set a napkin ablaze. Both drivers are red faced from trying not to break into mad laughter again. 

You clap your hands once. “Alright, are we finally ready to get started?”

Carlos nudges Charles in the side. “Look, she’s disappointed in you already and she hasn’t even tasted your cooking. This means I am going to win by a lot.”

Charles scoffs, but you swear his barely suppressed smile drops in a second when Carlos mentions your disappointment. “Y/N would never be disappointed in me,” he protests, “I am her favorite, obviously.”

He turns to you, raising his hands in your direction as if asking you to prove his point. You shake your head. “I don’t have favorites, Charles. That would not promote a fun workplace environment.”

“Of course,” Charles nods sagely. “If you had a favorite, though, it would be me.”

Carlos snickers, and in an effort to keep their focus with you before you lose them again, you clear your throat and read out the rules of the cooking contest. The drivers say their dutiful bits about how they’re each going to win this by a landslide, and then time begins and they’re off to the culinary races. 

The covers on the baskets go flying. Charles holds up each object in turn, announcing them in tones of increasing panic. “Butter. Flour. Eggs. Green olives? Three strawberries? A box of spaghetti? Pepperoni?”

“You forgot the chocolate and red onion,” Carlos points out helpfully. 

Charles tosses his teammate a withering glare, then turns the full force of his vexation back to you. “Y/N, you are trying to kill me.”

“Charles,” you say, “we talked about that.”

Charles’ brow furrows as he tries to remember what you mean. It hits him as last and he groans, slapping a hand to his forehead in mock desolation. You’ve noticed that Charles has been mentioning you by name a lot in videos, leading to general confusion among fans. As you’ve reminded him many times before, you’re not supposed to be the focus, he is, so he needs to stop bringing you up all the time. Viewers don’t care about who’s filming the content, after all, just who’s in front of the camera. It’s a tip handed down directly from your boss to you.

Charles still grins at you even as he continues unpacking his ingredients. “I can’t help it, you know that. You’re too good, I want to mention you all the time.”

You scoff. “Good at what? Keeping you in line?”

“Everything,” he says, and raises his eyebrows suggestively. 

You roll your eyes and tell him to focus, but even this instruction doesn’t last long. Barely five minutes later, Charles is bringing up the fact that he’s going to totally win this thing because cooking is, like, a love language, right? And he’s the best at love, he declares, winking conspicuously in your direction. Carlos launches an oven mitt at his head and mutters something that the microphones don’t pick up, something that conveniently has the same number of syllables as stop flirting. 

Charles is steadily making jokes the entire duration of the video, actually, and usually you wouldn’t mind this but they’re all spoken with the intention of getting you to laugh. Not the camera, as he’s been told to do before. You. 

You do your best to keep it off your mind. Both drivers have gotten better about opening up on camera since they started, and this is probably just Charles trying something new in an effort to improve his on-screen personality. After all, it can be hard to direct all your charisma towards a camera, why not aim all your smiles at the person filming instead?

The contest ends soon enough. You end up awarding Charles with the win, mainly due to the fact that Carlos’ hand accidentally slipped as he was attempting to strain his pasta and he ended up losing all of his spaghetti down the sink. His plate consisted of sauce and decorative strawberry slices, which, although tasty, did not contain several key ingredients and resulted in an automatic disqualification. 

Despite the rather shaky grounds on which his cooking victory stands, from the way Charles is acting, you’d think he’d won the WDC. He’s beaming at you, talking about how he’d called this from the very start and was proud that you liked his stuff the best. He even offers to wash the dishes, which is very un-driverlike. 

The video ends up a success by all accounts. Even days later, it’s still trending in Tifosi circles, and the view counts are way higher than expected. Curious as to why, you decide to do the unthinkable and check the comments section of the cooking video.

What you find is– unexpected, to say the least. Usually, comments on any post, whether it be Instagram, TikTok, or YouTube, will range from fans lamenting race outcomes to people mentioning their favorite driver to random spam accounts offering thousands of dollars to the lucky person to message them first.

On this video, though? Most all of the comments are about you. This makes no sense, because not only were you on camera for about one minute, you didn’t do anything other than give instructions and judge food. Antonio Giovinazzi did the same job on a video last year, and no one cared at all. Antonio’s actually well-known in the world of motorsports, so why is it that you, someone who largely operates behind the scenes, would be the cause of so much fuss?

Curious, you start scrolling in depth, but find yourself more confused with every reply you see.

He’s totally flirting with her, right?

Is anyone else seeing the fact that Charles is freaking out over trying to impress this girl?

His face when she declared him the winner… I can’t even with him!!

Charles trying to protect Y/N by refusing to let Carlos salvage his sink pasta– they’re dating, right???

You find yourself laughing over it. This can’t be real. Surely nobody in the world actually thinks that Charles Leclerc– F1 driver, Ferrari superhero, Il Predestinato and supporter of all Tifosi hopes and dreams, multi-millionaire– would ever have a crush on you. It’s absurd. It’s so absurd that you find yourself racing to the office of another one of your friends in social media to get her opinion on it.

Your friend looks up at you, startled, when you burst into her office. “Has someone died?”

“No,” you gasp out, “worse.”

Her eyebrows raise. “One of the drivers had a scandal? We can fix this. Get me B-roll of them volunteering or something. We can turn this around in no time.”

“No,” you say weakly, “the Internet thinks I’m dating Charles Leclerc.”

Your friend freezes in her seat, finger still hovering over the call icon on Fred Vasseur’s contact in her phone, then slowly sinks back again. “Well, yeah, I can see why.”

You gape at her. “What?”

Your friend spreads her hands. “He follows you around everywhere you go. He’s always asking about you, you know. I kind of thought you two had a thing as well, it’s not just the Tifosi.”

You break out into somewhat crazed laughter. “Charles? You think Charles likes me? No, that’s ridiculous.”

Your friend, however, looks less skeptical of this news. “Is it really? I mean, he spent the entirety of shooting just cracking stupid jokes so he could make you laugh. You should have seen the way he stared at you whenever you so much as smiled. Man was transfixed.”

You shoot her a disbelieving look. “No– transfixed? Are you kidding? He wasn’t transfixed. He wanted to win a contest because he’s a racing driver and they like to be the best at everything. I’ll tell you what it was, he was trying to win me over so I’d decide the competition in favor of his cooking.”

Your friend chuckles. “You really are oblivious, aren’t you?”

You take a careful seat opposite her desk. “You’d better explain to me what you mean by that right now, or I swear, I’ll make you brainstorm TikTok ideas for the next month.”

Your friend shudders. “Anything but that, please. Those trends are so bad. Anyway, look, Charles has been obsessed with you since, like, the day you joined. I remember introducing you that day, actually, he was practically stammering over his words. Imagine that, someone who’s always so controlled with what he says whenever he talks to the press, and he can’t even say his name properly because a pretty girl is smiling at him.”

This whole situation feels insane. “Maybe you’re remembering it wrong or something. He wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t like me like that.”

“Wouldn’t he?” Your friend asks slowly, and, well, it makes you think.

It makes you think about all of the videos you’ve shot with him, every discussion after a press conference. How taking candids for the Instagram of Charles always takes ten times longer than it should because he never looks at the camera, only at you. How you greeted him earlier this year at the first race of the season and he said what he missed most of all over winter break was you. How he wasn’t even kidding when he said it, just smiling, smiling like he’d never meant something more in his life.

“Oh my God,” you breathe, “Charles likes me.”

Your friend slaps her hand on the desk, startling you. “See? This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

“What do I do, then?” You ask.

Your friend looks like she’s about to scream. “You tell him how you feel, obviously!”

“I do?” You repeat haltingly.

“You do,” she says, “And he’s right across the hall now. Go talk.”

She all but pushes you out of her office, and then you’re alone in the corridor with Charles, who has just spotted you and is heading your way with the brightest grin you’ve ever seen.

“Y/N!” He says, clearly pleased, “It’s so good to see you. I didn’t think our paths would cross until the next race.”

“Yeah?” You eke out, “Me neither, actually. Strange how things happen like that.”

Strange like friends with overly aggressive relationship advice. You’re certain that if you turned around now, you’d see her peering through the window in her door like some kind of stalker.

Charles nods. “I’m glad to see you, though. Did you notice that the last video did really well? I think that means you have to come around more often. You know, it’s what the fans want.”

“Speaking of the fans,” you say, “I happened to read through the comments and a lot of them seemed to think that you were flirting with me.”

You swear you can see Charles’ confidence fall in a flash. “What?” He protests a little too quickly, “that’s crazy. That’s, uh, really crazy.”

You nod. “That’s what I thought, but, on the off chance that you were flirting, I wouldn’t mind it.”

A small spark of hope forms in his eyes. “You wouldn’t?”

“I wouldn’t,” you decide at last, “because I like you too. If you like me, that is, and it wasn’t too crazy of me to say that.”

He’s laughing now, and you– well, you really do like him, you do, and something about seeing the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkle up when he smiles makes you think at last about how long you have liked him, all the ways you realized you loved him but never admitted it to yourself.

“Alright,” he says, “Maybe it wasn’t too crazy after all.”

A pause, then:  “This does mean that you’ll be coming around more often, right?”

You smile. “Yes, Charles, I think it does.”

f1 tag list: @j-brielmalfoy

[peaxhygirl]

𝙰𝚁𝙼𝙰𝙽𝙳𝙾 𝙰𝚁𝙴𝚃𝙰𝚂 𝚇 𝙵𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙻𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁 - 𝚅𝙸𝙲𝙴 (4)

: ̗̀➛𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 𝙾𝙲

: ̗̀➛𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: [WARNING] There is smut present in this chapter.

: ̗̀➛𝙰𝙽: This is also long, maybe longer than part 3-- I may have over indulged. Hope it doesn't suck!!

Raven laid in her bed doing a mental recap of the night. How had they gone from fighting like cats and dogs, to not speaking, to her being on the verge of begging him to fuck her on the spot just to relieve that dull throb he'd stirred up.

Every thought she had of the night made her feel like she was right there on that dance floor all over again. She could still feel the scruff of his beard tickling her cheek, and it reignited the goosebumps on her skin. She'd been constantly going back and forth about what would drive him to do such a thing. Constantly trying to explain away his actions so she could get some peace of mind and go to bed.

She was coming up with nothing. "You know what, I'm just gonna go ask him." She spoke to herself before rising from her bed. She took one step forward before puasing to look at herself in the mirror. "Girl, no the fuck you not."

The soft knock on the door of his bedroom caused Armando to sigh in annoyance. "If it's Dorn, it's too late to talk about techy shit. If it's Marcus, I don't want to hear about something you weren't even going to tell me, man." His words were met with a brief silence before the door began to creek open.

He didn't move from his position, laid on his back with both hands behind his head. He was relaxed, which was a very rare occasion, so he wasn't going to break that. He simply turned his head to not see either of the men, but to his surprise Raven slowly stepped in.

Even in the shadows and moonlight that seeped through the window, her face was still gorgeous. He eyed her briefly. Noting that she only wore a large t-shirt that read "Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa House." Whatever the fuck that meant. "Come in, blackbird." He rasped.

His eyes were trained on her, this wasn't the same woman. She was more timid than usual, softly closing the door and coming to sit on the edge of the bed near him. "Why do you keep calling me blackbird?" Her face softly contorting in confusing. "Because your name is Raven, genius." He smirked.

Raven stared at him for a moment, how was he so casual with everything that'd happened tonight. She had a million questions, and she couldn't think of a single one to start with. "I--I'm sorry for calling you a drug dealer. That wasn't a nice thing to say to someone who's trying to turn their life around." Not only was her demeanor different but so was her voice, it was soft, almost as if she was scared to break the silence of the night.

A warming balm spread across the male's heart. In his life he hadn't gotten many apologies, even when he was clearly wronged. So, hearing this from the same women who threatened to pull her gun out on him just a few days ago was surprising yet appreciated.

Raven on the other hand couldn't deny that this was a beautiful man. That Lowery DNA was something special. She studied each of his features thoroughly in the darkness of the room. Those thick and defined eyebrows accented by dark curly lashes always caught her attention. She hadn't realized how hard she was staring until Armando cleared his throat, ripping her from her trance. "I appreciate that, but tell me, little one. Did you just come here to apologize?"

With that simple question her throat grew dry and her face hot. Why did she come here? What was this going to accomplish? She'd spent ten minutes arguing with herself about this and not once had this crossed her mind. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, what the fuck was she supposed to say?

Armando sat up from his position, his bare muscular chest visible to her doe eyes. "Nah, I know that look. You're looking a little needy right now, baby." His hand gently gripped her chin while he observed her face.

She was practically spewing pheromones all over this room. "Just say the word and I can fix that for you. Cause God knows I've been fantasizing about these lips since we left that club." He spoke to her in the sultriest tone she'd ever herd. His rough thumb pad pressing into her lip and pulling it away from her teeth. His body was now on autopilot as he moved closer to her. Closing the gap between them. Thier lips inches apart, close enough to just gently brush together as his spoke. "Can I take care of you?"

The woman had no audible response, only leaning forward to fully close the space between their lips.

The kiss between these two was much like their dynamics. Feverish, rough, passionate, and yearning for more. Armando wasted no time stripping Raven of her clothes, delighted to see that she wore noting under her shirt.

The dress she wore that night had done no justice compared to the masterpiece of her bare body. "Just relax, baby." His voice was muffled while he kissed along her inner thigh. His eyes darted from her anxious face to the beautiful pink junction between her legs. Just looking at her he could see her juices coating glistening folds.

He licked over his lips before offering her the same release. His tongue traveling up her center. The soft moan that filled the space when he'd brushed against her swollen bud was music to him, it was a sound he'd commit to memory for the rest of his life.

And Raven, poor Raven had lost all of her bravado. Hell, Armando was sucking it out of her- literally. He licked and sucked along her pussy, teasing her when he'd rotate his tongue just around her clit but not fully attaching his mouth to it, not giving her the suction she'd kill for. "Eres la cosa más dulce que he probado en mi vida, nena." "Armando." She was breathless, doing her best to get out her words as her chest heaved. "P-please."

"Please what?" He questioned with a sinisterly teasing tone. "You want more?" His words were followed behind him plunging two of his thick fingers into her. Immediately, her warm walls squeezed him as his pumped his hand. "Oh god." She cried, moving her hips to meet his motions. Finally, Raven took the moment to gaze down at the male who was already staring at her in hunger. "That's right baby, be a good girl and ride my fucking fingers." A shiver ran down her spine at his words, he was going to drive her insane. "Armando, make me cum." Finally gaining some of her wits back, Raven reached down, locking her fingers into his dark hair pulling him back into her center.

Her assertion of her own dominance in this moment caused Armando's rock-hard length to ache even more as happily obliged. Diving back between her legs. This time, his lips finally wrapped her throbbing bud, sucking roughly and swirling his tongue. His fingers continued their assault on her sopping hole. Curving upwards slightly to gently press into the spongy space of her g-spot. She wouldn't last long with this combination and they both knew it.

Her hips writhing against him, pushing herself farther on to his face. "F-fuck Armando. I'm about to c-" She hadn't even been able to finish her statement before her orgasm hit her like a ton of bricks. He felt her contracting around his fingers, her clit throbbing against his tongue as he continued to lap her at juices until this wave of ecstasy subsided. It'd honestly knocked the sound out of her.

Seconds felt like hours to Raven. The pleasure that shot through her body was something no other man had made her feel. She basically had to pry Armando's mouth from her sensitive core feeling breathless, but he only smirked in pride at the whimpering bundle of nerves he'd just turned her into.

Raven sat up on her elbows, still breathing heavily as she glanced down at his exposed erection. She couldn't help but be mesmerized as he stroked himself. He was beautiful, long, thick, and veiny. She gazed up at him through her eyelashes to meet a lustful stare before turning over to all fours. She positioned herself in an arch that left her head flush to the mattress and her pussy and ass propped in the air exposed to him. "Well." She smiled innocently. "Show me what 'cha got."

That was all he needed to hear from her. He wasted no time positioning himself behind the ass that was as beautiful as he thought it would be. He stared down between the two. Watching as he drug the thick pink tip of his length through those slick folds he'd certainly be tasting again. He took a moment to apply the slightest pressure to her entrance before sinking into her.

She fit around him like a glove, squeezing and engulfing him in warmth and wetness. For Raven, he stretched her walls so deliciously she almost started to drool.

Both of them moaning in unison.

Slower strokes started their passionate session, Armando knew he wasn't small by any means and wanted her to comfortably adjust before things truly got started.

The wet sticky sounds of him slowly working into her were pornographic. With growing speed, he felt her grow better. His hands gripped her hips, thumbs digging into her soft skin as the slapping sounds of their bodies colliding together grew louder. "Joder." he growled, his head tilting back with slightly parted lips and closed eyes.

Raven couldn't believe how wet she'd grown; her arousal coated the inside of her thighs and even created a wet spot on the bed below them. Her body was rocked by Armando's powerful thrusts, damn her being sore tomorrow. She'd enjoy whatever he had to offer now. She allowed herself to come up a bit, moving her hips back to now meet his thrusts. "Throw that shit back, mami. Let me see what you can do." A challenge mirroring her own was all she needed. Immediately Raven began to throw her weight back into him, her ass bouncing off was a sight he'd be storing in his memory bank for a lonely night. Their mixed calls of pleasure and obesities filled the room along with the occasional smack of the ass he gave her.

Eventually. they ended up in a position where Armando was kneeling behind the woman who was practically seated into his lap as she bounced. Armando's large hand tangled itself in Raven's hair, yanking her head back to look at him. The sight of her flushed cheeks and a slight sheen of sweat present on her skin drove him crazy. And fuck did she fit him snugly like she was made for him. Not releasing her, he began animalistic thrusts that caused her to bellow out. "Shit.' She cursed. "Cállate, pequeña. Despertarás a los demás."

His own voice was laced with the need to release. Something they both felt coming once he began to throb inside of her. "Fuck, are you about to cum? Please cum in me, I wanna feel it. Please. I wanna feel you." Her begging cut the last remaining shred of control he had. His thrusts becoming sloppy, short, and shallow as he worked towards his own orgasm. One hand stayed tangled in her hair while the other squeezed at her double D breast and pinched at her hardened nipples. As soon as Armando felt the tensing of his abdominal muscles, he also felt the release as he shot his warm load into her. Raven experienced her own secondary orgasm, their bodies already in sync. Her fingers had been working at her clit, but they both knew it was him coating her walls that threw her over the edge.

Heavy breathing filled the room, neither one of them daring to pull away from the other. Armando placed a kiss on the woman's head. Her hair already starting to curl back up. It took a moment, but eventually Armando managed to pull himself and Raven from the bed. Cleaning them both because he'd honestly worn her out. Her attempt to return to her own room was met by Armando following behind her, stating that she might as well put that bonnet on and get comfortable, because he'd be sleeping with her for the night.

𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙽𝚂𝙻𝙰𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂

"Eres la cosa más dulce que he probado en mi vida, nena." - You're the sweetest thing I've ever tasted, baby.

"Joder." - Fuck

"Cállate, pequeña. Despertarás a los demás." - Quiet down, little one. You'll wake the others.

[strawbeerossi]

One Margarita

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Luke Alvez

Description: When a popular tiktok song makes its rounds around the BAU, the poor men of the BAU have to listen to the women belt it out constantly.

Content/Warnings: Pure fluff honestly, the whole team is silly, the girls have fun, suggestive dialogue, dramatics of Spencer Reid

Word Count: 0.8K

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Another post I’ve had locked away for a while! Sorry for not posting this last night as promised, I had entirely too much to drink last night lmao.

Tagging my two besties @daddy-dotcom and @rainaaaskyy

There were some songs that were just meant to be catchy, no matter how annoying they could be. The rise of catchy songs came with the likes of TikTok, especially when it is filled with people who get famous for dancing to the most random songs or it inspired artists get their work into the world.

Some songs were made for humor related purposes, which birthed some of the most catchy pieces of music that would have anyone driving the surrounding people insane. Case in point, Penelope came into work excited to show the girls of the office one song she found on the app. 

At first, they made fun of it and they all had their laughs, then the five of them put together a dance for themselves. That made the rest of the BAU endure the group acting like a group of teenagers who just had their favorite band release a new song that they needed to listen to until they got sick of it.

Spencer felt like he was going insane, Matt couldn’t help but laugh every time they broke out into their own song, Dave just thought they were insane but he found himself humming along with the girls, then there was Luke who thought it was the most amusing thing he’d ever seen. It was like Y/N would sing it everywhere and even if the song was one of the dumbest ones he heard, he’d admit that it was catchy.

That was why he’d belt it around their shared apartment, which would always result in the two getting into a laughing fit that left both of their stomachs hurting. He would even do his own improvised dances for each line of the song, which again, could have Y/N crying laughing. 

It was a slower paced day at the office, everyone getting caught up on the paperwork that they hadn’t gotten around to yet because they were caught in an endless loop of jumping from case to case. They had to work fast because evil never seemed to give them a fucking break.

So, it became bustling with everyone gathering up reports and getting ready to give them to Emily to have them finished and filed away. To nobody’s surprise, it wasn’t long until Tara was humming the familiar melody. 

“No. Please. I’m begging you..” Spencer groaned as he brought his hands up to cover his ears. “This is worse than prison. You know that? A million times worse.” They always appreciated the dramatics of Spencer Reid. “I’ll tell you whatever you wanna know, just stop torturing me.” He breathed out.

Luke was already laughing at the man’s actions. “You know they sing it because you have that reaction, right?” He asked, making Matt stop to lean against Luke’s desk. “He’s got a point, Reid. If you laugh about it, they will do it less.” 

Y/N was coming in from the kitchenette while shaking her head. “No such luck, boys.” She laughed as she was skipping to her desk. “I think you should embrace it, boy genius.” She had commented, ruffling his hair on her way to her desk with a smile. 

“I think you boys are just overly dramatic.” JJ piped in with her own opinion while heading over to her desk in order to finish the finishing touches on one of her reports. “No, we are not. That song drives me bonkers.” Spencer responded, his nose wrinkling as he was looking at the two men in front of him. “You’re telling me you like it?”

“It’s not so bad.” Luke responded while Y/N gestured to her boyfriend. “He sings it too! Don’t you, Alvez?” She smirked while lifting her coffee mug to her lips. “I do, yeah. It’s catchy!” Luke began to laugh as he put his hands up in self defense with a grin on his face. “We went out to dinner last night and I got a strawberry margarita and he started singing it!” Y/N emphasized while laughing at the memory of the previous night. 

“Make fun of me all you want but you weren’t opening your legs after that drink at all.” Luke bit back while chuckling as his girlfriend’s cheeks were red. 

“Give her one margarita and she’s going to bed.” He sang while the rest of the office was reduced to their own fits of laughter. “Face it, Cariña. Nobody is getting head or anything of the sort after you’ve had a sip of a margarita. You’re out of commission.”

Y/N was waving her boyfriend off while laughing. “You’re never getting head from me again, Alvez.” She teased while looking back at her paperwork. “You’ve ruined it for yourself!” She laughed at the male, who was putting his hand over his chest in a dramatic fashion. “That is the worst punishment ever! I’ll buy you a margarita after this as an apology.” He mused.

“Then I'll be happy while I'm going to bed.”

[noxioustoxins]

Food for Thought - JayTim - Batman

Jason just finished making pasta, a meal full of carbs and protein, with only enough sauce to make all the ingredients stick together, just the way Tim liked it. He wouldn’t eat it otherwise. He added some extra sauce to his bowl and left the kitchen.

“Any progress?” Jason asked, sitting next to Tim on the couch, mouth full of pasta and fork dripping with his properly sauced food.

Tim’s eyes flickered over, before almost immediately returning to the computer

Hook.

“The budget is almost illegible. It’s definitely on purpose but I don’t have proof of which shareholder is responsible for it.”

Tim has been chasing a shareholder through botched paperwork for a few weeks. It was a string of issues that they were not used to. Most situations they came up against could be dealt with through well-placed violence, but this was a game of cat and mouse. Which if it were an actual game, Tim might have enjoyed. But as it stands, he has a shareholder stealing money from the company and botching projects for insurance scams. The difficulty Tim was running into, the reason the investigation has been going on so long, has been because corporate scum bags fight in paper work and contracts. So, Tim has had to dig his way through red tape, new and old contracts, current budget meeting and previous budget meetings, all to match up numbers that claim to have been lost in the shuffle.

There have been a few of his ‘board of old men’, Tim’s words, that he had cleared. Each cleared shareholder lightened the load, but sniffing out one specific pompous asshole at Wayne Enterprises was taking its time; and a toll on Tim. He hasn’t been able to take time to patrol as Red Robin, and his team have had to manage a few cases without him at the helm because of the near quadrupled amount of paperwork he’s had his nose in lately. It was making him antsy, his mind had been busy, but Jason could feel Tim’s body aching to move. The way he shifted constantly lately, or got up just to walk around, the lessened patrols were definitely getting to him. When he had been able to go out, he wasn’t even working on investigations, and had taken to the role of simply beating assholes senseless.

But Tim wouldn’t let anyone help. His pride wouldn’t let him.

“So, no progress?” Jason said through another mouth full of sloppy, wet pasta.

“Not in this specific file yet,” Tim sighed, “but I was able to eliminate one more suspect today.”

Tim began chewing on his thumb nail, eyes still glued to his computer screen.

“Well,” Jason grunted as he stood up, “you have like, three extra jobs at WE now, so no one can blame you for it taking time.”

“I blame me,” Tim grumbled, “I have to wait for every new edition of every new contract and every new budget, and then having studied those, I have to wait for the board meeting, which I then spend most of that time trying to catch someone slipping, but these guys lie, cheat, and steal through their whole lives. It just feels like the progress is so slow its non-existent.” Tim pulled the laptop into his lap, slouched against the couch and scrolled through another page of gibberish on his computer that seemed to make sense to him.

“Of course it does. You’re climbing a wall of old man greed with bricks made out of million-dollar budgets and legal jargon.” Jason spoke up louder, so his voice could be heard from the kitchen.

He made his way back to the living room, taking a bite of pasta with not enough sauce, before sitting back down and staring intensely at the computer. Tim looked over at him as he entered.

Line.

“Wait.” Jason said, grabbing the computer off Tim’s lap, and putting the pasta where the laptop had been.

“What?” Tim said, leaning in. Jason held up his hand to pause Tim, and scanned the document on the computer.

“Nothing.” Jason said, looking over at Tim, then at the bowl, and back at Tim with a smile.

It was boring, and Jason had to reread every line twice for any of them to make sense. Beside him, Tim took a bite of too dry pasta.

Sinker.

Tim looked down at the bowl of pasta, made with just enough sauce for everything to stick together and extra parmesan cheese, just the way he liked it.

Tim’s glare meant nothing, as it was followed by an eye roll and a small smile. Jason closed the laptop, and Tim moved closer, another forkful of pasta in his mouth, once again reminded that, yes, he did need to eat.

[intoanotherworld23]

His Behind The Camera

Pairing: Reader x Joel Miller

Warnings: MATURE CONTENT NSFW 18+ ONLY. This series is basically going to be all smut and sex, since it’s going to be about porn so you have been warned. Each chapter will be marked though with warnings

Length: 3695 words

Summary: It’s a life that you never thought you’d have, but you’re desperate and you need the money. That’s how you get into the adult film industry, and your first movie is with the devastatingly handsome Joel Miller

Check out my other Pedro Pascal works

Taking a deep breath as you tried to control your heart rate. Your palms overly sweaty, and your fingers constantly twitching. Heart racing a million beats per second.Right now was not the time to have an anxiety attack though.

Looking in the mirror at your over the top makeup, and extra curly hair. The silk robe covering your body did nothing to stop the chills running up and down your body.

It was too late to back out now, and you really needed this money. Besides this wouldn’t be so bad you’d get to have sex with attractive people, and get paid for it. A lot better than working at an stuffy office with a fat bald man hitting on you as a boss.

They let you take a shot of hard liquor just to calm your nerves. They wanted this movie to be good, and wanted all the ratings. Not wanting to ruin it by shaking like a leaf the whole time.

"They’re ready for you Y/N." Someone with a headset popped their head in real quick giving you a nod.

"Thanks." Mumbling as you turned back around.

The silence in the room was making things even worse. Like all you could hear were your thoughts , and it wasn't making things better.

Standing up as you pinched the ends of the sleeves with your fingers. Walking towards where all the camera crew was standing around. Looking at the staged room that was all white. White bed. White sheets. White walls. Even white carpet.

It was almost blinding as you anxiously waited for your co star to walk onto set. All you know his name is Joel Miller, and all the women even some men loved him. You've never done anything like this, and you didn't want to disappoint.

"Alright there's our man." The director clapped his hands as you saw Joel walking towards you. "You all set?"

"Sure thing." He smiled as he disrobed himself making you drool.

This man was more beautiful then what you thought. His body was muscular and fit, and you could see his lower tummy pouch. He looked incredible. Looking at his face all you wanted to do was place your mouth on his plump ones.

He was a little older than you expected, but that didn’t change anything. Looking at him you could see the gray hairs poking out from the top of his head. His hair was perfectly ruffled though like he just got done brushing his fingers through it. For someone who was older he looked damn good.

Feeling your panties becoming a little wet at just the sight of him. This man was literally sex on two legs. You could probably cum at just the sound of his voice. Just him being in your presence was enough to intimidate you.

Now you were even more nervous having a man like this in front of you. Your mouth probably hanging wide open like an idiot as you stared at him.

"Joel you've met Y/N." The director nodded towards you making Joel turn his attention at you.

Smiling widely once he took one look at you. It made you feel a little more confident seeing he was just as affected by your presence as you were his.

"Not yet but I'm glad I get someone absolutely damn gorgeous to work with." He winked your cheeks heating up. "First time?"

"That obvious huh?" Lightly chuckling making him smile even bigger.

"Nah you'll do just fine." He waved his hand in a swift motion. "First time is always the hardest."

"How long have you been doing this?" You asked timidly. "Porn I mean."

"Ah well I've been doing this for I would say six years now." Placing both hands on his hips as he looked at you. "But I've been fucking since I was sixteen."

He's probably slept with some of the worlds most beautiful and sexy women, and yet they stick him with you. You didn't feel like you could ever compete with any of those women. Now you were going to have to step up your game.

"I've heard a lot of good things about you." Almost smacking yourself in the face for that stupid line. "I just mean."

"No it's all good."

He chuckled at how shy you became. Thinking to himself how fun this was going to be, and the wild thoughts of turning you into a sex crazed animal.

"I don't watch porn." That was clearly a lie. His eyebrows scrunched down.

"No way you don't watch porn." He said in disbelief. "I mean everyone watches at least one porn movie in their life."

"Nope not me." Shaking your head trying to maintain your confidence. "I prefer the real thing."

"That's my girl." Your body melting when he said that, but you knew you would never become his girl.

Porn wasn't something you ever saw yourself doing. You enjoyed sex a lot, but never thought you would be getting paid to do it. Nobody was paying well, and this was pretty much your only option.

Nobody knew about this only your best friend, and she told you this was a bad idea. You told yourself you would only do a couple movies, and that would be it. Judging by who you would be working with it seems that wouldn't be the case.

This wasn't something that you were going to get into. Get the money and get the hell out of there. You were surprised they even considered someone like you. No auditions or anything. They took one look at you, and asked how soon could you start.

"You ready Y/N?"

A voice broke you from your thoughts. Turning to the set to see everyone staring at you. There was a lot more people coming into the room and walking by then you thought. Gulping so loud that everyone could probably hear it.

"Oh yeah sorry." Squealing sheepishly as you jogged to everyone.

"Alright if you'll just remove your robe we can get started." Hearing that had your heart racing, and your stomach churning at the thought of getting naked in front of everyone.

The scenario was that you were at home sleeping the bed, and your husband came home early. Only to see you laying there in your bra and panties, and then he would have sex with you. It was stupid and cliche, but this was also your first movie.

Slowly pulling the thin material off your body and kicking it to the side. Goosebumps appeared on your skin. Expecting everyone to be looking at your body and judging.

The thing is nobody was looking at you. They were so focused on doing their parts they weren't even staring. They were used to naked bodies walking around the set all the time. You could feel a pair of eyes staring at you though.

Looking straight ahead you saw Joel devouring you with his eyes. They were blown full of lust and wide with dark desires. Your skin felt tingly seeing him look at you like that. No man has ever looked at you the way Joel was right now.

Maybe you were reading too much into it, but he seemed way to excited to be doing this with you. Almost like this was something he had been praying for, and he was going to get what he wanted.

"You can get into bed and then we’ll begin." People shuffled around getting into position.

You stayed their frozen like your feet were stuck, and you couldn't move. This was what stage fright must feel like. Trying to hype yourself up to just get it over with, and telling yourself it wasn't going to be that bad.

This was actually happening and there was no turning back now. You just had to suck it up, and tell yourself the money was going to be worth it. It would be all over soon.

"God I can't wait to feel how tight you are." A deep voice growled in your ear.

Turning around to see Joel walk by with a huge grin on his face. He just wanted to help get you more in the mood, and think of things to make you less nervous. He remembered his first time and how incredibly nervous he was.

Your thighs tempted to squeeze shut so you could now relieve the pressure between your legs. This man got you all hot and heavy, and he hasn't even touched you yet. Just thinking of the things he could do in bed.

Laying on top of the bed they helped get you into the perfect position. Trying to find the right place to put your hands, and where to move your legs. Moving some of your hair up front to make it look more realistic.

Hearing the quiet chatter of the crew as they got everything finalized. Closing your eyes as you felt a bright light shine down on the set making you jump slightly.

This was it this was go time. Millions of people were going to see you at your most vulnerable. Millions of people were going to see parts of you even your own boyfriends didn't get to see.

"And action."

——————————————

"Oh fuck yes." Moaning as you arched your back on top of Joel. His hands on your hips. "Right there."

"Feel good baby?" Joel mumbled as his hands reached up to grab your bouncing breasts. Pinching your nipples between his fingers.

"Yes so good." Crying out as your nails raked down his chest leaving marks.

Leaning his body forward so his mouth could attach to your nipple. Sucking and biting on the hard nub making you kiss the top of his head as your fingers raked through the sides of his hair.

His mouth moving from one breast to the other groaning to himself. Suckling on your nipples like they were candy, and he was savoring the taste. Leaving a string of saliva as he leaned back down. Feeling a cold breeze hit your nipples making a shiver run up your spine.

Looking briefly over to see a camera man focusing on where his cock as disappearing inside you. Trying not to suddenly get shy knowing he was just right there looking at your most intimate parts.

"Focus on me baby." Whispering softy into ear turning your attention back to him seeing you start to panic with the camera right there. "Focus on my cock."

His hips meeting your thrusts digging his cock deeper inside of you. Pussy clenching around his cock as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. He knew you were getting closer to judging by the expression on your face and body language.

"So fuckin tight for me baby." Growling as he looked to where you two were connected. "Fuck this pussy so good."

Moaning at his words as you focused on your own pleasure. Forehead sweating the heat that was enveloping the both of you. Cheeks clapping against his upper thighs, and pussy making squishy sounds from how wet you were.

Looking down at him you watched as the veins in his neck were popping out. His neck and chest were turning a slight shade of red, and he kept licking his lips as he looked at you.

"Gonna fuck you until you can't walk." Snarling between his teeth as his hands smacked your ass making you squeal. "Pussy is all mine."

Rotating your hips in figure eights making his mouth hang open. His head thrown back in utter ecstasy as he tried to control his breathing. Bending his knees as he drilled up inside of you making you scream.

"Shit shit shit." Hands gripping his wrists as he kept his rough movements at a steady pace.

"Such a good girl for me baby." Hands placed on your back pushing your chest on top of his. "Taking my cock so well."

Turning your head to side as he placed his lips on your neck sucking on your skin. Mouth wide open as little whimpers slipped past your lips. Your hands on either side of head as you would drop your hips down on his cock.

"Feels so fucking good Joel." Crying out as you felt him thrusting his hips up at an all new angle.

Whispering absolute filth in your ear as your legs were starting to get sore. Feeling you slow down his hands gripped your ass cheeks squeezing them as he used them as leverage to go harder slamming you down on his cock.

His pelvis was rubbing up against your clit making you see stars. Your senses were becoming overwhelmed, and you were so close you could taste it.

"Squeeze that tight little pussy for me." Smirking against your skin as his hands moved up and down your body.

Taking your bottom lip between your teeth as you kept whining in euphoria. You've had amazing sex before, but this felt so much different and better. It seemed too like he was enjoying this more than you.

Hands smacking your ass encouraging you to fully let go of yourself. Surely whenever you two were done your body would be covered in marks and small bruises.

Closing your eyes as your pussy clenched around his cock hard making him groan. His cock twitching inside of you letting you know he was close to orgasm.

"Stand up for me baby." He stopped he movements indicating for you to get up. "Lay on your back.

You knew exactly what he was wanting to do. Without wasting another second you stood up on wobbly legs, and rolled onto your back. Watching as he pumped his cock fast while looking up and down your body.

The noises coming out of his mouth were almost animalistic. He was getting close and he was wanting to cum all over your mouth. Preparing for his load you opened your mouth with your tongue hanging out. Grabbing your breasts to entice him even more.

That seemed to do the trick as you looked down to see cum leaking out of his tip. His thick veins popping up along his length. Sweat forming on his brows, and his chest was heaving up and down.

"Oh fuck yeah baby gonna cum all over that perfect face." Growling as he pumped himself even harder one hand on his hip.

Closing your eyes as you felt drops of cum hit your mouth and around your mouth. Moaning as best you could as he jacked himself off until every last bit of him was empty. Licking your lips as you swallowed his load tasting the saltiness.

"And cut." The directors voice snapped you from your euphoric state.

“Good job guys.”

Looking over you saw all the camera crew putting there stuff down. Breathing heavily as were slowly coming down from your high. It hitting you that you just made your first adult film. Laying there frozen unsure what to do.

"You were fucking amazing." Joel complimented you with a smile as he stood up his limp cock just hanging there.

Someone came over and handed him a bottle of water along with a towel. Watching as a took a large swig gulping as he did. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, and you just watched like a creep.

"We'll definitely have to do this again." He joked making you giggle.

"Yeah absolutely that was just wow." Exclaiming as you licked your lips but your mouth was extremely dry.

"Never had a woman ride me like that." He shook his head in disbelief as he looked your body up and down again.

"Really?" A part of you didn't believe him thinking he was just being nice.

"Fuckin A." Sitting up as you grabbed the sheets covering yourself not liking being so exposed. "I almost came like three times."

"You we're pretty good too." You joshed making him chuckle.

"Sure you've never done an adult film before?" He quirked his eyebrows at you in question.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure." You nodded your head giggling. "Unless someone secretly recorded me and took all the money."

"If you were my girl I would sure as hell be recording me tearing that pussy up." He groaned and he took another drink of water before walking away.

Sitting there stunned watching as he grabbed a robe, and went into his dressing room. Exhaling before you stood up awkwardly walking across the set to your dressing room. Ignoring the gazes being thrown your way.

Shutting the door behind you looking in the mirror at your naked body. Looking at all the marks he left on your hips and backside. Almost dying inside when you saw you still had his cum around your mouth.

Grabbing a towel wiping the white substance off your mouth. Feeling slightly embarrassed that you talked to him with his load on your face still. Although he was probably used to stuff like that. It didn't seem things like that bothered him at all.

Thinking about his words from earlier saying how if you were his girl. Wondering what it would be like to be his girl. He was probably a very affectionate and hands on type of boyfriend. He probably had an insatiable appetite when it came to sex.

"Y/N?" You heard on the other side of your door along with a light knock.

"Just a minute." You responded as you grabbed a robe and quickly placed it over yourself. "Alright come in."

One of the directors popped their head in making you internally groan. They probably were going to tell you they didn't want you to do anymore films with them. Your confidence was suddenly declining waiting to hear.

"You were fantastic out there." He complimented you as he walked into the room. "I mean absolutely superb."

"Thank you." Smiling from ear to ear hearing such positive feedback.

"In fact you were so good Joel wants to do another film with you." Putting both his thumbs up.

"Wow I mean yeah I would be more than happy to." Nodding your head so fast it might fall off.

"Great well give him the good news and have the schedule up by tomorrow." He gave a huge smile before he walked out the room.

Sitting down in the chair you couldn't help but feel giddy now. One of the most desired men in this world wanted to do another film with you. He liked doing it with you so much he immediately told them he had to do another take.

It all felt like a dream in this moment. Pinching yourself thinking none of this was real. Feeling like you were on top, and you were indestructible. You felt so powerful that you could take on the world.

Your thoughts interrupted again as a knock came from the door. Straightening yourself out hoping it was Joel on the other side. Wiping your teeth and clearing your throat before swinging the door open.

"Hi there." To your surprise it wasn't Joel, but standing on the other side was a extremely fit, tall bald man. He was showing off his pearly white teeth.

This man was like a hunk of meaty goodness standing in front of you. A little bit of drool escaped your lips as you stared at the handsome figure.

"Hi." You squeaked out feeling your cheeks go up in flames at his gaze. "I'm Y/N."

"Nice to meet you Y/N the names Johnny Sins." As soon as you heard that name it sounded so familiar. Then you realized he was one of americas most famous porn stars besides Joel.

"The Johnny Sins?" Voice cracking as you looked at him in disbelief.

"You've got it babe." He winked making you smile awkwardly looking towards the ground. "Nice to meet a fan."

"I mean we'll everyone knows who you are." Trying to cover up with a cough at basically admitting you've watched his films.

"I just wanted to say nice work out there." Nodding his head towards the set making your eyes go wide.

"You watched me?" Spitting out making him chuckle.

"Yeah I did and I gotta say I'm really impressed." Crossing his arms across his chest and he stood a little closer. "Never seen a woman move like you do."

"Oh well you know when you've got talent you can't let them go to waste." Your words making his grin at you.

"Thank god you didn't let them go to waste." He shook his head as he looked your body up and down. Stopping at your chest looking down to see your breasts were exposed.

"Yeah thank god." Swiftly covering up your chest making him smirk.

Feeling yourself becoming nervous under his intense stare. He looked like at any moment he was ready to pounce on top of you. His smiled was wicked and devilish like he had something up his sleeve.

The tension was so thick between you two you could cut it with a knife. The look he had in his eyes was one of primal desire. It was almost nerve wracking how much sensuality the man oozed.

Sure it was nothing like what you felt with Joel, but still this man was something else. Joel was way better looking in your opinion, and you quite honestly didn't want to do another film with anyone else but him.

"Well it was nice meeting you." Lifting his hand up to shake you placed your hand in his.

"You as well." Smiling politely but not before he pulled your body slightly towards his making you gasp.

"God I can't wait to do a film with you." He groaned as he leaned forward and kissed right below your ear making your breath shudder.

Turning around and shutting the door behind him. Leaning up against the door holding yourself up. Taking a huge deep breath in and out. Putting a hand over your chest as you felt your heart racing again.

Looking back in the mirror at yourself your makeup smeared, and your hair wild. It was an image that you were probably gonna have to get used to seeing.

[fortunekookie07]

X amount of time ago, I got my first request for a story. I am still over the moon about that. And being that Xavier's new memories just dropped, I chose him per requesters prompt.

Potatosugar this one is for you

Moment Forever Lost

Rafayel, just thinking or hearing his name sent butterflies coursing through your stomach. Your best friend, the person you felt closest to in the world. The one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Rafayel, the one existence in this world you felt you could never reach. Not after she entered the picture. How many plans had been rearranged, canceled, or simply forgotten because for Rafayel, she always came first.

When Rafayel told you that she was the one who had rescued him as a kid, and then confided in you that I'm that moment he fell in love with her. Your heart shattered into a million pieces.

After all, how could you compete with that? She was a hero to Rafayel, and he was smitten. The first time you met her you wanted to abandon all hope. She was beautiful.

Perfect, straight, long dark brown hair. A small frame and delicate features. It was like fate had created a perfect girl and then sent her your way to destroy the future you'd wanted.

You had begun to war with yourself internally. Half of you instantly hated her for stealing your place. The spot next to Rafayel had belonged to you. You'd been the one friend who stuck by him since middle school. Rafayel's personality was a bit off putting to most people after all. Even she had found his manners a bit extreme.

The other half of you actually liked her. She was nice, friendly, and very likeable. Her smile alone put anyone at ease. Then there was her talents. As a Deepspace Hunter, her skills were unrivaled amongst her graduating class. She had been named the best and she'd gotten to join the Unicorns Team that took on the most dangerous missions. It was no wonder that Rafayel was smitten with her.

You constantly compared yourself to her. Frustration rising whenever you thought about the goal you once had. Your Evol had never really developed. Making the ground shake around you would not benefit you or your partner at all. Often times you couldn't even control it. Whenever your emotions got out of hand so would your Evol. It drove you crazy to see someone else living your dream.

You hated yourself for having such negative thoughts about someone so kind. She ha never once been cruel to you. Even if she constantly seemed to but in whenever you were spending time with Rafayel.

*******************************************************

Today was your birthday, twenty four years old now. The same age as Rafayel. By a few months, as he constantly reminded you. Proud of being the older, and therefore wiser one.

Rafayel had insisted on going out to celebrate. He'd wanted to take you to his favorite restraint. It was high class and typically only catered to famous individuals and top notch business men and women. It wasn't unusual to see this place booked out for some high tech companies meeting.

Rafayel had persuaded you to come here. He wanted to make you feel important. Not just to him, but for yourself. He wanted to make this a day to remember. He had reserved a table with a fantastic view of the city below and gotten you a beautiful dress to wear.

The color was a deep, dark blue. A sheer outer skirt of intricate lace. The lace went all over the dress and the sleeves. Fitting your figure perfectly. Complimenting all of your best features.

You arrive at the restaurant and walk to the maitre'D. "Reservation for two. Under Rafayel, has he arrived yet?" You ask with a smile. The man looked down at the tablet in front oh him, scanning the list of reservations for the night.

"I'm sorry miss, I don't have any reservations for Mr. Rafayel tonight". The man looked apologetic as he relayed the news. "Oh maybe he made the reservation under my name"? You say with a question and rattle off your own name. The man shakes his head again. "No miss, no reservations under you either". You felt your heart sunk as you stepped away from his podium.

You fish your phone out of the small hand bag you'd brought and immediately call Rafayel. It goes straight to voicemail so you leave a message. "Rafayel, I'm here at the restaurant but they don't have a reservation for us. I'll just wait for you. See you in a few". After hanging up you go to sit on the cushy bench just outside the entrance doors.

Five minutes goes by and you check your phone anxiously. Nothing, no calls or texts. You tuck your phone back into the bag. Couples drift by you once in a while. Some of them glance at you curiously as they walk inside.

Fifteen minutes go by and Rafayel has still not appeared. A sinking feeling in your stomach knots your insides up. This is not the first time you've been stood up, but like a puppy everytime he calls your name you go running back. A burn in the corners of your eyes start as you desperately try not to cry.

You pull your phone out again and call Rafayel once more. It still goes straight to voice mail. "Rafayel where are you? You are coming right? I'm still here waiting for you". Your voice cracks a bit at the end before you finally manage to stave off your tears.

Still wanting to belive that he would not ditch you on your birthday, you continue waiting. Perched on the seat, hoping, just praying, that Rafayel will suddenly appear. Hair disheveled from running and face apologetic, but it doesn't.

For forty-five minutes you sit on that bench and wait. When some of the people who'd gone in for dinner are now coming out you stand up, shame burning your face red. The looks on their faces clearly peg you as having had your date ditch you. You can't take being judged by people you don't even know and run off. The tears have broken free and are streaming down your face.

You don't know or care where you are going at the moment. Just away from there. You stop running after you stumble and realize you've made it to the edge of the downtown area. The restaurant is some thirty blocks behind you. Thankfully it isn't too late and this is a well traveled area. You're able to get a taxi.

Your phone rings as the taxi pulls up in front of your apartment. Rafayel's name and picture flashing on the screen. You send the call to voice mail and pay the driver.

As you're unlocking your door your phone starts ringing again. Rafayel's name and picture showing up once more. In anger you just turn your phone straight off and stuff it into the bottom of your bag. A voice speaks behind you.

"Wow, are you so against taking my call that your abusing your phone too"? That haughty tone can only belong to one person. Rafayel.

You turn and pin him with your angriest glare. "I don't even want to see you right now, much less hear your voice." You spit, hurling all the venom you can muster with your pain and humiliation.

He reaches out to take your hand and you're quick to slap it away. You hide the wince at the loud sound if the smack and the stinging on your palm. His arm is still held out towards you. The back of his hand red with the marks of your fingers.

Tears gather in the corners of your eyes again. "I get that I am not first in your life and that I never will be, but how could you stand me up on my birthday with plans that YOU made"? You ask not looking at him as your voice cracks. He moves in closer and forces you to look at him.

"You are important to me, you're my best friend. I am so sorry about tonight...". You cut him off placing your hand over his mouth before he can say her name. "I don't want to hear it Rafayel, don't say her name. Especially right now". You feel like your soul will shatter if he utters her name now.

He brushes your tears away one handed and you finally realize he's been holding his other arm behind his back. Before you can ask he's drawing his arm from behind his back and presents you with a bouquet. The fragrance hits you before your mind can register what you are seeing.

In his hands is a dozen of the largest white chrysanthemums you have ever seen. The bloom easily bigger than his hand. You didn't even know the flower could get this big. You close your eyes breathing in the scent of your favorite flower.

"I am sorry, this couldn't be avoided. It was an emergency. Let me make it up to you tomorrow. It's the first day of the lantern festival. Let me take you". You look at him in surprise. It was a well known fact that Rafayel hated crowds, for anything. It was one of the reasons why he so often skipped out on his painting exhibits. He didn't care for all the noise either. You'd never been able to get him to go to one before.

"R-really"?!? You ask hardly believing your ears as your heart soars. He nods before replying. "Really, let me take you". You hug him tightly in response. The ruined birthday all but forgotten now.

"I'll pick you up at 6:30 tomorrow". He says when you finally let go. "See you romorrow"! You tell him excitedly before going inside.

Once in the kitchen you search for your flower vases. Finding the perfect one that can hold such a large bouquet, you fill it with water and csrefully place them in it.

You take a deep whiff of the flowers before heading to your bedroom. As you get your pj's on you feel a sense of dread, like something bad is going to happen real soon. You squash it down and force yourself to sleep.

The following day can't pass fast enough. All day long you are distracted, even you co workers notice that you aren't getting much done. Seeing as you are usually zipping through your work it isn't hard to notice.

Finally the end of the work day has come. You excitedly clean up your desk and shut your computer down. Being an office consultant had its drawbacks but the job was easy and the pay was good. Even if it was boring sometimes. It was the safe and stable direction your parents had encouraged you to take after failing to qualify for the Hunter's Association.

After you got home you were quick to jump in the shower and freshen up. You only had an hour before Rafayel would be knocking at the door.

You decide to wear easy to move in clothes. A white dress and sandals with no heel. The dress is simple and cute. Having a halter style top and a point cut skirt that swishes while you walk.

Just as you finish tying your hair into place the doorbell rings. You grab your phone, keys, and wallet then slip them into your small off white knit bag and run towards the door.

Rafayel smiles in the other side and draws you into a hug. "You're right on time"! You say brightly closing thr door behind you after locking it. Rafayel casually takes your hand as he's done many times before and you start walking.

He asks you what you want to do first when the first lights appear just ahead of you. "Let's walk around the stalls and play some games"! You say just as a familiar figure comes into view. Your blood freezes as you recognize her.

You turn and look sharply at Rafayel and stop short. He tries to mask his expression and you can stop the look of betrayal on your face. You jerk your hand out of his. "Did you invite her to come with us"?!? You ask your eyes darting back and forth across his face searching for a denial.

She quickly interjects. "Rafayel didn't invite me. He told me he was going and I decided to come too. I didn't know I was interrupting a date". She says holding her hands up to calm you down. Her face is genuinely sorry and guilt is written all over her face.

"If it makes you feel better I'm meeting up with someone too. I though we could walk around as a threesome. But we can make that pairs. He's my partner from work. His name is Xavier, he's a good guy. Easy to get along with. You might like him". She says with a bashful smile.

Oh, OH there's that look on her face. You recognize it as you'd worn that same expression whenever you thought about Rafayel before. You glance at the man in question. His face is tight and there is a forced smile on his lips.

"There he is now! Xavier"! She calls waving wildly to someone coming up behind you. Turning you see a tall man with ash blond hair and a pair of the deepest blue eyes you've ever seen. "This is Rafayel and his friend". She introduces the two of you to him. He nods and looks you over before nodding with a small smile. "I'm Xavier, nice to met you". He says going to stand beside her.

This man radiates calmness but you can feel a dangerous aura lurking beneath that. As well as a fierce protectiveness for the small woman beside him. She grabs your hand and tugs you into the bustling crowd ahead. "Come on, or were going to miss all the fun"! Her excitement is contagious and your earlier anger had completely disappeared.

It seemed for once that Rafayel had not interjected her into your plans. That happiness was short lived when you noticed he kept paying attention to Xavier and suggesting that he play this and that game with her. Alot of the time she agreed, sometimes she would decline and play with Xavier. Most of the time she would play twice with both of them.

You were beginning to feel like a third wheel and regretting ever having come to this festival. Rafayel was hardly doing any of the activities with you and it stung sharply. Wasn't this supposed to be his apology for ditching you on your birthday?

Finally you could stand it no more and you stopped walking. The only one to notice was Xavier he looked back at you and asked "Are you ok"? You shook your head. "I'm not feeling well, I'm going home". You turned and walked straight back the way you'd come. Ignoring the protests from everyone coming this way and them telling you, you were going the wrong way.

It seemed like it took forever but finally you made it back to the entrance of the festival and you sat down. The tears came again. You just couldn't understand how and why you were so ignored by Rafayel. Your jealousy burned as every scene played back in your head. Rafayel had only played a few games with you and every time had been when she hadn't wanted dtonolaybwith him first. It had only been then, once she'd rejected that he would ask you like a second choice.

Once again you found yourself completely distraught for the second time, for the same man in only two days.

You walked home alone. Mood completely sour and expression dark. Fishing your keys out as you stood in front of your door you noticed your phone. Unlocking it you were unsurprised to find that there were no messages. Either Rafayel hadn't noticed you were gone yet, or he just didn't care. You shut it off and opened the door. Silence greeted you, just as it always did.

"I'm tired of being alone". You say out loud to no one. "I don't want to be in love with someone who doesn't even see me anymore". You cry sinking to the floor and sobbing again. You don't know how long you sit with your back to the front door crying. Your thoughts are jarred when the doorbell rings. You say nothing and listen. The bell goes off again two and then three more times.

Rafayel's soft voice comes from the other side. "Why did you leave without saying anything to me? Why didn't you tell me you were feeling sick in the first place. I was worried". He says and the concern in his tone irritates you. You stand up and yank the door open.

"Were you actually worried? How long did it even take you to notice I was gone??? Did you even look for me? Why did you ignore me almost the entire time I was there? Am I just a doormat to you? Am I supposed to act grateful any time you decide to toss me even a SECOND of your precious time"? You hurl all your pent up frustrations at him as more tears slip down your face.

Rafayel frowns and you can see him getting angry but you cut him off. "I'm tired Rafayel, I'm not a puppy that will keep running back to you every time you call my name. I will not be grateful just because you remember that I exist. I can't do this anymore. Loving you hurts to much and I just can't take it. It's killing me inside". You try to wipe your tears away.

"I never asked you to love me. I told you she was important to me a long time ago. It was your stupid choice to fall in love with me knowing all that". He spots back at you angry now. Not since your days in middle school when you first met has Rafayel spoken to you this way.

"You think she'll come to love you back?!? Open your eyes and look you stupid ass! She's in love with someone else too! She won't choose you"! You slam the door in his face before he can respond and run to your room and throw yourself into your bed. You sob yourself to sleep and wish that you had never met Rafayel. He's finally driven you into that dark place you'd tried so hard to avoid.

In the days that pass you feel numb to the world. Two weeks have gone by and not a single message or call from him. Not that you were expecting any or wanted any. The last message was from him and one of the silly stickers he liked to use.

If your heart wasn't broken and you weren't trying to recover from the severe emotional beating you'd taken, you might care that your phone was so silent for the first time that you could remember.

Several times you'd opened your contacts and went to trash all his messages and then block and delete his number all together. You just couldn't bring yourself to do it yet. Maybe in a few more days. You kept telling yourself that over and over again. You were caught in this vicious cycle. Wanting to move on and finally free yourself from him altogether and being unable to do just that.

You had adjusted to your life without Rafayel in it. A few times you'd seen his writing a message bubble pop up in your conversations but he never sent anything. You still didn't care.

Two months had gone by and nothing. Once Thomas had reached out to you asking why you hadn't been to the gallery recently but you didn't answer that message either. Under different circumstances you might have felt guilty leaving him on read.

After work that day you decided to change your pace for the first time in weeks. You went to the coffee shop you used to frequent. The Cafe style had always been cute to you and the chairs were so comfortable. Just as you put your hand on the door you noticed a familiar figure in your favorite chair.

Rafayel was slouched in the chair, completely unlike him. His wavy purple hair was messy and ot looked like he was neglecting his sleep. Badly at that, if the dark circles under his eyes were anything to go by. His head was perched on his hand and he was tapping the arm of the chair.

As if sensing your gaze he looked up. His eyes went wide and he immediately stood up and took a step in your direction. You let go of the door handle and stepped back blending into the people walking as you hurriedly left. The moment your eyes met you felt a twinge in your heart. You weren't ready to see him again.

The next day at work your mood was positively black, as if a heavy thunderstorm was hanging over your head. Everyone steered clear of you. Only coming to speak to you when absolutely necessary.

The day passed by slowly and you paid little attention to anything around you. By the time you noticed that it was quiet everyone had already gone home. You packed your things up slowly and were getting ready to leave when the hairs on the back of your neck stood on end. There was a strange energy in the room and your senses screamed danger at you.

Just then a strange screech echoed in the room and something hit you out of nowhere. You flew up into the air and across the room just as alarm bells went off in the building. Metaflux! Your alarmed brain screamed at you through the pain as you were crumpled on the floor where you'd fallen. A Wanderer was inside the room with you and you had no way to defend yourself.

Sheer panic overtook you ss you lifted your head and looked behind you at the horrible monster bearing down at you. That was when the tremors started and you screamed as it's blade bore down on you.

Just as it was about to strike you a gunshot rang out. The monster was knocked sideways and it's blade swung off course. Cutting the desk in two, instead of you. The creature screeched as a flaming dagger sunk into its arm. Rafayel had showed you his Evol many times before. You knew that dagger even at a glance.

The screen around you changed suddenly and then you weren't in your office building. "Protofield"! A female voice called out. Finally you could see Rafayel and her. He called your name and tried to come to you but was held back by the group of Wanderers.

"Just stay put we'll rescue you"! She called tone serious. You couldn't exactly move. Pain and fear had you rooted to the ground. You'd read about protofields before but lacking the skills, you'd never been in one.

Gunshots, screeches, grunts, and communication between the pair sounded all around as they fought the Wanderers off. Just as quickly as it had appeared the protofield vanished. The last Wanderer seeming to have been destroyed.

The two made their way over to you, picking across the damaged desks and scattered paper. Rafayel knelt next to you. Assessing your injuries as she made a call on her watch. Relaying the situation back to the Association as well as medical support.

You hadn't realized it yet, but your breaths were coming in short gasps and you were starting to feel dizzy.

That was when the floor started shaking again. This time the tremors were violent. Rafayel glanced around as he stood up trying to hold his footing. "Earthquake"? He asked glancing at he watch. She shook her head as Rafayel looked around some more.

Only you realized where the tremors were coming from. You'd never told Rafayel you had any Evol at all. He'd believed you when you said you were born without one and had never developed one after the Wanderers first appeared.

The shaking got worse and cracks appeared in the windows as it seemed like the whole building was moving. "Danger"! You managed to gasp out feeling like your energy was being sucked out of your body. You lay on the ground feeling dizzy and nauseous. The windows busted out, sending glass straight to the ground ten floors below.

Rafayel took as step towards you just as a violent shudder went through the building and the floor gave way beneath you. Then you were falling. You tried to scream as you fell. Above you Rafayel was falling too. Seeming to have jumped through the hole after you. Groaning metal and breaking glass was all that you could hear before you blacked out and then silence. Nothing but silence.

*******************************************************

Three months later

Rafayel sat at your bedside. He was usually here at this time of day. It was part of his routine now. He'd gotten used to the beeps of the machines in your hospital room. He'd thought back again and again. The Dr's had determined the earthquake like tremors had come from you. When you had panicked your body's natural instinct to protect itself forced your Evol out of control.

The result had collapsed the building you'd worked in. Thankfully everyone else had gone home for the day. His injuries were nothing compared to yours. Bumps, scrapes, and bruises. He hadn't even needed to be checked into the hospital.

You on the other hand, the list was long and scary. Broken ribs, a punctured lung, skull fractures, a dislocated arm, broken leg, the list went on. He had tried not to read all of it.

The Dr's had treated all your physical injuries and you'd had to under go three different surgeries. The skull fractures had caused the most concern for them. A concussion was the least of your problems.

Right now you were comatose. Your body had shut down all necessary functions to try and repair the damage. The extent of damage to your head had been undetermined as long as you remained asleep.

Rafayel looked at you again, glad most of the bandages were gone now. Beeing wrapped in gauze nearly from head to toe was hard to look at. He took your hand again, careful not to disturb the IV.

"Hurry and wake up, I'll even let you yell at me. I don't mind anymore. You can be mad all you want. Just don't sleep anymore. Please". His voice was a weak whisper as he rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand.

For the first time your hand twitched in his and he looked up sharply at your face. He called your name and the heart monitor picked up your increased hear rate immediately.

He waited anxiously with baited breath and then after what seemed like hours your eyes fluttered open. He leaned over and pressed the call button on your bed after informing the nurse you were awake he turned his attention back to you.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened. You were right. I acted like a jerk, and I didn't treat you very well. I knew for a while that my feelings wouldn't be returned. It's not like she didn't tell me about Xavier before. I just didn't want to listen. If you'll just forgive me, I don't need anything else. " Rafayel said in a rush. Spewing everything out that had crossed his mind in the last three months.

Confusion had knit your brows together. You were looking at him with an odd expression. The door opened as the Dr came in just as you started speaking in a raspy voice. Your words had his heart sinking to the floor.

"Who are you?"

****************************************************

Uwahhhhhh I just realized how long this was editing and proofreading 😵‍💫😵‍💫

I really do torture myself, but then again, short stories aren't very common for me. Oh, well.

I do hope you liked this one. It's a no happy end one. Unless you want to pick it up from my ending and make it happy.

[salty-ironstrange-shipper]

Hi. I saw this post asking for a fic that changed one's brain chemistry. Now there are a lot of fics I like; over 2000 bookmarked on ao3. And a lot of fics I love; I have 400+ of those fics tagged 'fave'. Of those 400, there are only around two dozen I would say legitimately changed me as a person. 1% changed the way I saw relationships and the world, changed the way I read and write. And I couldn't narrow it down to one - or ten - and didn't want to dump in OP's tags. So have this list of fics that permanently changed who I am as a person.

Warning: I love long fics, and some of these are the same specific tropes that I love or that really affect me personally (ex. arranged marriage). Expect angst, and especially angst with a happy ending. That said these fics are all objectively amazing.

(sorry to people who don't like long fics, but we are simply not the same. and that's OK.)

listed in order of fandom, then length.

Banshee In A Well - 43k, complete, DC, Tim Drake. Childhood trauma, childhood trauma, came back wrong/can't stop coming back! Tim is a little FREAK and I luv him.

straight on 'til morning - 102k, complete, DC, timkon/Kon-El. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly.

variations on a theme - 5k, complete, MCU, ironstrange. This is one of the fics that made me truly love ironstrange. Stephen sees through millions of possibilities and in doing so, falls in love with Tony. Evocative, beautiful, succinct.

The Art of Losing - 33k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. This fic made me cry. This fic BROKE MY HEART. And I WENT BACK TO IT. Multiple times! This is a breakup fic that breaks you down then puts you back together. You will come out different, and only you can say if it's for the worse or the better.

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) - 65k, complete, Red White and Royal Blue, firstprince. There are so many firstprince fics that essentially translate the events of the book into a different setting. And I love all of them. (My own fic, then fucking have me, also does this, self plug self plug self plug). I had to narrow this selection down to just one, and this is probably my absolute favorite.

You Don't Have To (Say Yes) - 192k, complete, Star Trek, spirk/Jim Kirk. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, again).

THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS - 262k, complete, Star Trek, spirk. Star Trek arranged marriage epistolary fic. I read this 4 years ago, and I STILL think of a line from this fic constantly (we're aligned, we're aligned, we're aligned). If you don't read anything else for the rest of your life, read this.

DON'T THE WAVES PULL THE SAND? DON'T THE MOON PULL THE TIDES? - 58k, complete, Star Wars, finnpoe. I don't even go here. And yet. And yet. This is within the niche genre that for some reason appeals to me specifically, of characters having a LOT of feelings about sex and dealing with it poorly (yeah, AGAIN).

Not Part of the Plan - SERIES, 8 works, 337k, complete. Supernatural, destiel. This is an arranged marriage fic au series, that started with a oneshot pwp, and somehow grew into a sprawling, world and character building EPIC. And that to me is always a marker of quality. You KNOW it's good if the author couldn't stop themselves.

wander your own land - 379k, incomplete, Yellowjackets, shaunajackie and others. I told you I like long fics. Girl survival situationships, cannibalism, jealousy, cabin fever, hallucinations, trying to keep a fucking baby alive in some of the worst possible circumstances.

Infinite Variations of a Summer Day - 76k, complete, X-Men, Pietro Maximoff. I love Pietro, he is one of my favorite characters of all time, and this is such a great character fic. See Pietro slowly driven insane in a time loop that examines his relationships with himself, his team, his family, and his powers.

drop your own recs in the notes. and if you have any suggestions for griddlehark/the locked tomb, pLEA- *gunshots*

[nexionswild]

IN WHICH MANEATER!reader admits their feelings for the van der linde boys. [p.1] [p.2]

includes: arthur ∿ john ∿ dutch ∿ hosea ∿ javier ∿ micah.

content warning: none, pure fluff, no pronouns [GN], some fem!words [“minx” “temptress”]

a/n: first headcanons in a while! personality may not be as accurate but eh, do what you will !!

✦ ﹒ arthur morgan

you.. what?

arthur doesn’t believe in being remotely worthy of any romantic interests, he always thought you were out of his league. needless to say, it’s a pretty loving yet interesting surprise. he even comes as far as questioning your tastes in men.

but of course, he doesn’t say no, and god knows what would happen to his mental state if he ever dismissed your feelings.

by the time your confession came out, he’d admit that he loved admiring you from a distance, seeing how you swayed men with your charms and wits. it was always fascinating for him in a weird way. he can’t quite put it in words, but by simply observing you, he could feel things.

“alright, alright … i’ll take the goddamn minx’s hand, but don’tcha go cryin’ on Grimshaw’s dress if ya’ startin’ to regret yer decision, understand?”

obviously, he’s so grateful to have you under his wing now. it’s almost like a dream he’ll never want to wake up from, it’s a blessing, even.

although arthur still doubt how long you’ll stay with him, due to his bad experience during his first relationships with some women, he’s trying to be optimistic about the way it will turn out.

he doesn’t have much to say or do, except awkwardly appreciating your presence and the way all of your attention shifted onto him, but he’s not a slacker in this relationship, hell no.

you’re constantly victim of his tease, and often gets to be his main focus every now and then. being a natural gentleman, he doesn’t mind offering you help during your missions. and his treatment gets especially more overwhelming after a task that includes seducing a feller for information. he’d like to say that he’s not the jealous type, he understands you’re just doing your job, but god. he should be the only man that gets to hear all of these sweet words.

✦ ﹒ john marston

completely and utterly baffled. him? you and him? together?

“why?” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. he regrets it.

when you explained it’s really by the way he behaves with you, the way he’s gentle and soft for you, always slacking around until he gets to work when you ask him to from dutch’s part, that’s where he realizes, he really didn’t made any efforts to try and keep his feelings away from you. he is embarrassed.

lord knows how red his face was when you admitted that he may be one of the most tender man you’ve ever came across from the millions of other ones you had to seduce for survival, to think he was one in a million, in a way, you made him feel special.

he could only hide his lips with the back of his hand as he reluctantly tried to look at you, in which he desperately can’t. and while you await his answer, his heart keeps beating faster and faster, he worries you may even hear the sound of his heartbeat from where you are.

eventually, after a long moment of awkward, peaceful silence, with the sounds of birds and winds clearing the void of noises your head, john eventually grumbled a little “yeah, i guess i like you too.”

he can’t believe that he managed to get into a relationship with someone as charismatic as you, knowing he absolutely has zero charms. but this reality doesn’t apply to you, it seems. with the way you shower him in compliments and constantly pampering him with kisses ever since your confession, it makes it hard to believe that he wouldn’t be a man of interest.

in return, he’d quietly shove all of his love and affection by pulling you into a simple hug or enticing you to join their partying when the gang suddenly pops out the alcohol and plays music for some event. he’s a fun man when he tries to be, otherwise, it’s really just long, and silent moments of adoration as he hugs and cuddles you from behind.

before he even got together with you, he was already a little frustrated with the men you had to engage with for the sake of the mission, but now that you’re his, his frustration is even worse.

“you better try and come up with som’ other plans, regarding [y/n] dutch.”

✦ ﹒ dutch van der linde

“of course, i’ll love you forever.”

he’ll tease you about your feelings, dutch already grew a reputation amongst women for his ability to entertain with just talks and conversations. he even swayed men to like him for being friendly. after all, why do you think he knows and have contacts with so many people?

admittedly, dutch secretly loved it when you confessed to him. there’s something about you initiating it that sparks a bigger interest in you. you were a pretty thing to look at, a painting in exposition for a museum. of course he had his eyes on you for a long while ever since you joined.

he only puts you in those (insufferable) tasks to see you in action, and boy, was he impressed with the way you’d easily wrap those creeps, men and women alike, around your finger so quickly. not only were you useful for the gang, but you proved you’re more worthy than those petty missions.

he’ll never admit how he would also punish himself watching you whisper those sweet-nothings into their ear, only hosea knew the kind of face he would make when you did your job.

surprisingly committed and devoted into this relationship, you honestly expected something lacking. i mean, the way he treated molly should’ve trigger those red flags, but there’s something about him that you couldn’t quite touch on, that was so annoyingly attractive. and that devotion never faded away, you always kept him entertain in some wicked way, god knows what kind of poison you have for him to be so hooked on you.

he’d always slide his hand around your waist, tracing the edge of your body with his fingers as he looked down on you. and the way you gracefully accepted his touch only made him want to crave for more, he wants more of your subtle validation every time he shares an intimate moment with you. you’re his elixir, and he will never stop getting sick if it means consuming you more and more.

don’t expect this relationship to end. he will never let go of you. ever.

good luck trying to contribute to the gang and do your job, because dutch will never stop fucking up your work for the simple fact that he should be the only one who gets to experience your seduction.

“i should seriously come up with different plans now that you’re mine.”

✦ ﹒ hosea matthews

it took hosea some convincing to let him know that you were serious about your feelings, he always took everything under a sarcastic joke, until he realizes you actually mean it, his smile drops as he’s processing the information.

hosea is aware he’s not as devilishly handsome as dutch, he thinks of himself as a boring old man who likes novels and wisdom. to think you, a young and seductive temptress, in love with him? he doesn’t know how to eat that in a whole.

that is probably the first time you ever seen him that nervous, but the way he plays it out as a joke was still endearing, but annoying, at the same time.

“who forced you? i swear, i won’t be mad if ya’ just told me, y’know?”

when he finally accepts the fact that you’re really interested, hosea couldn’t help but smile again. he’s a jokester, seriously, what do you see in that guy? he makes you laugh. (nudge nudge, wink wink) and the sheer fact that he made you bend over (not in that way)mon your tummy as you try to suppress your laughter into quiet snorts so many times was just charming, in your opinion. and impressive as well. no men made you laugh like that before.

you couldn’t care less if he was too old or too modest, he was the perfect amount of gentleman. he’s been loyal to you like some kind of butler, and it was just so lovely to see him act like such a domestic husband when you ask nothing from him, and it was even more funny to see him quietly appreciating your flirtatious remarks before you got together.

now that you are in a relationship, your teasing has gotten even worse, and hosea desperately tries to keep up with you but you always left him in long flustered silences before he cracks another joke to try and change the topic. but he doesn’t leave you do all the talk, when you need comforting words after a mission, he’s here. and he’s the perfect man for encouragement and motivation.

he understands that it must be hard to always be a man’s attention, and he couldn’t be any more proud of you for trying to play your part for the sake of the gang. he doesn’t care about the comments you have to use towards these men for information, he knows whatever you do or say, he’s the only one you love, and you’re the only one he loves.

“you’re just.. perfect.”

✦ ﹒ javier escuella

you’ve never seen him so. happily. flustered.

he doesn’t want to show this side to you, he’s a scary outlaw who knows how to handle a knife, guns and such. but you made his heart flutter, how is he supposed to react to your feelings in a way that wouldn’t miserably damage his image as a brave yet intimidating gunman?

being generally polite and soft-spoken, you couldn’t hear him literally grumbling in spanish under his breath, not like you could understand him anyways, he was talking too fast in your opinion.

“ay.. dios mío. i don’t know how to say it. but, i really..”

he can’t afford to look you in the eyes, you’re so beautiful and precious. you’re no saint and that, he shamefully loves it, so much. no amount of words can describe how he loves seeing you talking your way out of conflict with those honey words. and because of that, you’ll only ever hear his confession in spanish before he pulls you in an embrace, which told you that he’ll happily stay by your side if that’s what you want.

it frustrates you that he’ll only talk about his feelings in his native language, that’s his mother tongue, and as much as you love to hear his love words in spanish, you also want to know what that means. you want to hear those words clear and loud, and javier can’t help but chuckle at your desperation. it was adorable. he didn’t know you had that side for him; being cute. usually, he would only see you tempting men and women, or constantly hearing your teases.

seeing you pout just made him want to speak spanish more often, he savors everything you offer him. and there couldn’t be anything more delicious than your new expressions, he especially loves it when you blush for him, because it came to a point where hearing his mexican rants was.. weirdly attractive.

“te quiero mucho, querida.”

✦ ﹒ micah bell

WHAT? you had all the men in the world and out of everything, you chose him? him???

he doesn’t understand you, he really doesn’t. he’s been here, shaming all of your good graces and degrading you into oblivion since your sole purpose here is “to pretend to be a sexworker” and you like him?

fine. he may have been under your spell as well, i mean, you’re attractive. he knows that you are, why else would dutch set you up in dirty work like that? — but he have way too much pride, and if you think he’ll apologize for his behavior or told you about how he felt about you, safe to say: don’t get your hopes up.

not only is he straight up puzzled, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he’s been craving for you this whole time, he was just in denial. he had too much confidence and pride to admit that he’d ever fall in love with someone like you, i mean, he’s been acting like this for so many years, what makes you different from the others? why was your attention so important to him? you’re nothing but some whore, right? or so he thought.

“fine.. but don’t get yer’ hopes up, pretty girl. just cuz’ i’m blessin’ you with my last name don’t mean anythin’. got that, sweetheart?’

he’s lying. you know he is. blessing you with his last name? is he expecting you to stay until marriage?

not that you mind, since you’re crazy enough to develop feelings for him. and he’s crazy enough to make you want this marriage.

ever since that day, micah has been noticeably more attentive towards you, both by hearing out your adventures and by touch. you wouldn’t notice him scooting closer and closer whenever you talked, you wouldn’t notice the way his head cocked to the side as his hand slid up your waist, tracing the frame of your body before reaching your shoulder and firmly grabbing it, pulling you closer to him. you only noticed when you felt his breath tickling your chin.

oh, he enjoys having an effect on you. all those months, he’d seen you play your way with people in sexual nonsense. he never liked how you got all the attention, or that you were focus on anyone else but him for that matter, but now he’s got you just where he wants you to be, right beneath him.

he loves to see you get quiet when he’s close.

“well? don’tcha keep me waitin’ pretty girl, better talk or waste my time.”

[bonny-kookoo]

Hello! I’m sure you’re busy with a million other things, but I absolutely love the IT XJK story that unintentionally happened. I love all your other works as well.

Could we get a short of IT oc getting asked by a superior at the company to talk to her about something and JK sees and misunderstands thinking she’s getting in trouble because of him?

Sending over love and good vibes always

First part: here Second part: here

You and Jungkook try hard to keep things professional at work, no matter the circumstances. No one seems to guess that just last night, you'd almost slept over at his place because it had gotten so late that you almost fell asleep on his couch after watching a movie together- only his hand shaking you awake and a cup of coffee able to somehow bring you back home.

Even though he asked multiple times for you to stay.

You're currently busy trying to identify a problem with the recording software on one of the pc's used to monitor the cameras filming, when someone Jungkook recognizes as a pretty high ranking manager taps your shoulder, and gains your attention. He can't hear what he's saying, but he also spots other staff behind the man looking rather serious- as you're led away by them, into a different room, away from everyone else.

His blood runs cold. Nothing happened between the two of you yet- but have they already found out? How so?

Maybe they monitored your phone, have found images he'd sent to you. Nothing too scandalous- simple mirror selfies he'd taken after working out, mostly dressed even, no big deal in his eyes. But now in hindsight, it could pretty much serve as damning evidence for something going on between the two of you, even if in reality you're just walking babysteps towards one another.

Fuck.

Or maybe they read your chats? He's been pretty heavy with the flirting lately, has been reaching out to you whenever he can, almost constantly checking in with you. He wants to have you around after all, all the time, but he also understands that down the line you've got a job to do, and can't just jump around to the tune of his demands whenever he wants you to. Have they read the rather suggestive messages he'd been sending you? He can think of a few.

God, he really fucked up.

"Are you okay?" Jimin asks from the side. "You're really pale." He worries, garnering the attention of Seokjin and Namjoon close by, who also now notice the rather spooked expression on the maknae's face.

"Y-yeah.." Jungkook mumbles a bit uneasy, standing up. He can't let you be fired- he's promised you he'd fix things if he screwed it up, and he plans on keeping his word. He doesn't know how they would even monitor yours or his phone, but it doesn't matter- he has to at least try and protect you somehow. "I'll be right back." He tells his bandmates, before he gets up to walk towards the room you've disappeared into with the others. He can glance inside between the halfway opened blinds, can see you sit down on a chair, while the other three men are standing, two with crossed arms while one talks to you. You look confused if anything, not scared, just bewildered, occasionally giving answers.

He can't have you fight this alone.

Two men leave the room, are surprised to see Jungkook on the other side of the door, and bow politely to the idol. "Jungkook-ssi?" The manager asks from inside, your eyes on him as well as you watch Jungkook enter the room, closing the door behind him. "Is everything alright?" He asks, and Jungkook nods.

"Yeah- just.." He starts, unsure. Especially when he looks at you and finds a look of sudden realization. "It's not her fault. I promise, I'm not just saying that to protect her or anything." He starts, and your eyes widen, the manager leaning his head to the side a little in question.

"What do you mean?" He asks, and at that, Jungkook becomes a bit uneasy.

"Is.. wait, what's.." He starts, and you just sigh, putting your face into your hand to hide yourself as you slide lower into your chair. Jungkook himself swallows hard, realizing that he might've misunderstood the situation, suddenly feeling like a cornered animal.

The manager looks between you and Jungkook for a moment, before his eyes sharpen. "Is there something I should know?" He asks, and you both stay silent at that, not daring to make eye contact. "I honestly though you were more professional than this." The manager sighs towards you, and you clearly want to just disappear.

"No, fuck, it's-" Jungkook tries to rescue this desperately. "-Aish.." He curses to himself, crossing his own arms. "It's my fault. I reached out to her first. I take full responsibility for whatever might happen." He says.

"It doesn't matter who reached out to who first." The manager declines. "What matters is that apparently, something inappropriate has been going on between the two of you, am I correct?" He demands to know.

"Nothing happened-" You start, but you're cut off.

"I'd be very careful with your actions and words right now, considering the situation you're in." The manager scolds you.

"She's right, nothing happened-"

"Yet!" The manager cuts him off, too. "Jungkook-ssi, imagine the scandal! World-renowned Idol has an affair with a staff member! Just imagine the chaos!" The man rants, running his hands over his face. "I don't care what you've been up to. I'll be setting up an NDA right now, and you better not leave this room until it is signed!" He barks at you, and you want to just cry.

You knew this was a bad idea.

"Consider your contract terminated. I'm sure we can find someone else to do your job who won't try and fuck-" He begins, but Jungkook is the one to talk suddenly, voice awfully serious.

"She didn't do any of that.!" He explains, arms crossed. "I reached out to her, she wanted to stay professional, I convinced her anyways because I genuinely feel a good connection to her." He says. "I don't care if you fire her, or have her sign an NDA- but I will neither let you talk like this about her, nor will I cut contact with her and before you ask, I know that that's what you'll be demanding of me." He says, and you look at him with concern, silently observing the two men staring at each other like wolves ready to fight.

"Does the rest of your bandmembers know how you're acting?" The manager demands to know. "I don't care if she's good entertainment, you're first and foremost an Idol, a brand, and if this spills out to the public, you'll taint the entire band and label with it!" He argues, but Jungkook shakes his head.

"Have her sign the NDA. Then she'll have no reason to talk." He explains calmly. "Or are you more worried that someone else might talk? That you might be tempted by the money this could make you if you were to sell that info?" He asks, and it clearly makes the man in front of him nervous. "I want you to sign one as well. Secured under the same amount of money as hers." He says, blocking the door.

"I won't be doing that." The manager declines. "I already signed one when I started to work here."

"So did she, I have to imagine." Jungkook responds.

"You're really protecting her? She will want money eventually." The manager says. "And your little adventure into the adult world isn't worth everyone's good reputation." He sneers.

"We have been seeing each other for months." Jungkook says. "And yet no one noticed. Curious. If I didn't say anything, you would've never known." Jungkook says.

"That's not the point-" The manager argues, but Jungkook won't have it.

"It is exactly the point." He argues against him. "Seokjin's relationship of what, five years now? Yoongi dating the hair stylist that joined two years ago. None of it has ever come out, has it?" He threatens. "Why is it suddenly so scandalous when it's me, I wonder?"

"That doesn't matter!" The manager scoffs.

"It does!" Jungkook says, angrily now. "It does to me! I'm not a child, and I believe it's time to make that clear!" He says, pulling out his phone.

"What are you doing?" The manager asks, and you're equally as confused.

"Calling a lawyer." Jungkook says, lowly so, like a threat, holding out his hand towards you, helping you out of your chair to pull you close to him as he opens the door, and turns around once to make one last comment to the man pale and frozen in place.

"I won't let you take this from me."

[luvingshidou]

YOU'RE THE DISGUSTING ONE.

sae x fem! reader part 2!!!

ANGST

a little ooc idk

Not proofread

THANK U ANON FOR THE IDEAA🫶🫶🫶

Being home again was different without you. Without you being there to constantly berate and annoy, Sae felt different. After Sae put more thought into it, he missed you. He missed you so much to the point that it was painful to think about never talking or seeing you again. Oh how fucking stupid he was saying all that shit to you and what was it even worst is you've blocked him on every app and website imaginable, he's tried to go to your house but no one would answer when he rang the doorbell. Sae would always think about you to the point where it sometimes would affect him during practice. He wanted to know how you were doing, but he couldn't ask anyone to check on you since the only person that was close to him and you was Rin, but know he feels nothing but spite for Sae. The more time went on, the more he realised that he was in love with you, deeply in love.

It was 2 years since Sae broke your heart, crushed it into a million pieces. Some of your friends thought you were overreacting and that you'll move on, like you ever could, you fucking adored Sae more then anyone else and then he starts acting like this cold, heartless bastard of a man, good god did it piss you off. You waited 4 years for him, you never flirted with other men, you never went out on date, you were loyal to him, yet he still trampled all over your heart. You cut all contact for him. You didn't want to hear his sad little sob story. You never wanted to see him again ever. But at last here you were, sitting beside him on the train going back to your house. You're pretty sure he didn't know you at first that until you saw him staring at you, his eyes wide and his mouth slightly agape. Sae knew this was you, but you were so different. You had an this worn-out look on your face. The look in your eyes were dull, showing no sign of emotion. Fuck. You changed so much. What the fuck has he done to you??? Sae was about to say something to you until he saw you get off at the next stop. Sae quickly got up after you. He wasn't going to let you slip through his fingers, not this time.

"Y/N." Sae blurrted out walking behind you, grabbing your arm so you could face him. "Y/N, I—" Sae was overwhelmed and didn't know what to say. It took him every fibre in his being, not to hug you to death.

"Sae, why are you following me?? Are you a fucking stalker or something???" You snarled back at him, your voice was so flat and monotone it felt like Sae was talking to a complete different person.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/N, please I know I fucked up, but shit I realised I need you in my life. I really need you." Sae was desperate. He needed you. He was acting so pathetic. It was shameful for him, but he'd do anything to have you back.

"Fuck off. You're acting like you all of a sudden you care about me, even though when a saw you after 4 years, you acted like I was some lowlife and you were above me." You scoffed, rolling your eyes. It hurt Sae to hear those words out of your mouth. Really really hurt him.

"Y/N— look, I'm really sorry, really— I'm so fucking sorry." Sae blurts, his lips now pressed into a frown. God my did he fuck everything up, he was stupid, so so stupid.

"Shut up, I don't wanna hear your stupid sob story, I couldn't give a fuck." You Sae, turning around so you walk away. "You're the disgusting one, Sae, you'll always will be." You started to walk off leaving Sae standing there his thoughts telling him to go after you again but he just couldn't bring himself. He really fucked up this time, probably beyond repair.

(idk if I like this or not😭😭😭)

[libraryofloveletters]

Behind The Lens

Kostas Tsimikas x Fem!Reader

Warnings: the boys teasing kostas constantly, reader being slightly oblivious to it, sexual innuendos, it gets a little steamy towards the end, kos is lowkey bad at flirting, lots of swooning.

Word Count: 3.2k

Author's Note: I don't really have an explanation of the Kostas kick I've been on lately but here we go. thank you to @curiousthyme for the idea, this ones for you!! <3

---

Despite it being close to 8 in the evening, the humidity was killing all of you. 

Liverpool had journeyed to Singapore for the second half of their pre- season training and for a few friendly matches. 

You had joined the team as one of the photographers. You had worked with the team before, but never in the field. Most of the time, you hung around when they did photo shoots for their new home kits or LFC retail. 

They were comfortable around you, so there wasn't any awkwardness when you decided to join them on the pitch for their first training session.

Klopp was going over the drills for the session, you took a few photos as he spoke. The only two paying attention to you were Andy and Darwin, the two of them making silly faces at the camera. You looked away, holding back your giggling by pressing your lips together.  

“Alright,” the man in the glasses clapped, “you know what you’ve gotta do.” He announces, sending them on their way. 

You were taking photos of the session, watching the boys kick the ball around and do their drills. You were off to the side until they eventually split into groups to run drills. The boys separated themselves into groups of 5 and the one closest to you consisted of Virgil, Mo, Joe, Kostas and Cody. The 5 men kicked the ball back and forth, Kostas stuck in the middle to block it before it got to the next person. 

In this particular moment, you were looking away trying to adjust something on your camera whilst kneeling on the grass. You were all but a few feet away from the boys and the pass that Mo made from himself across to Cody, made it pass both Kostas in the middle and Cody on the other side. 

“Heads!” The younger Dutch player brings his hand up to his mouth to shout to you. 

The camera’s lifted at the last second, the ball bouncing off the thigh the camera was once on. Mo makes a face, “sorry y/n!” He shouts to you and you smile, waving him off. 

Before you know it, there’s a man in a grey shirt running to you to get the ball. “Are you okay?”

Kostas was knelt to your level, his soft brown eyes reflected under the flood lights; they reflected a kindness you’ve yet to see in other people. 

You smiled, nodding. “I’m okay.” 

“You’re sure? Mo has a foot of steel.” He chuckles at his own joke, earning him a smile.

You assured him you were fine as he grabbed your hand to help you up. “I grew up with 4 brothers. A lil’ roughhousing doesn’t bother me, Kos.” 

The nickname caused his heart to flutter; despite hearing it a million times over, it was different coming from you. 

“Kos!” The tall man shouts, “are you coming back?!”

Virgil’s hands were on his hips, you could see the annoyance on his face - he wasn’t one for being in the heat; the Singaporean humidity was his worst enemy at the moment - as was Kostas for having him waiting. 

“Go on,” you reached out to him, resting a hand on his shoulder. 

Kostas tucks the ball under his arm, “sure you’re okay?” 

You smile, nodding once more. “I’m fine, Kos. I promise.” 

Joe seemed to notice the exchange between the defender and the photographer, looking over at his friend next to him. Virgil caught onto what Joe meant from the moment he looked at him, raising his eyebrows in response. The Dutchman earned a chuckle from his friend. 

Kostas watched you walk off in the direction of Andy and Trent’s group before snapping out of his y/n trance as the teammate called it. 

--

They had returned from their mini break, taking a few minutes to rehydrate and stretch out their sore muscles; a sight you enjoyed. Whether it was in a professional manner or an unprofessional one, that was a secret. 

The boys were all goofing around amongst themselves, getting the last of their energy out for the evening. You were sitting next to Jurgen on the bench, the man pointed out something that Joel was doing and you two shared a laugh; a common occurrence when you two were in each other’s presence.

“Alright,” you huffed as you stood, slipping your feet back into your slides. “Back to work.” 

The older gentleman shook his head as he looked down at your choice in footwear. “Aren’t you worried you’d fall? The grass is still damp.” 

“Not really, and if I do, there’s a ton of handsome footballers to catch me.” You raised your eyebrows, giving him a wicked smile. 

“Y/n!” He laughed, wagging his finger at you. “You're trouble.” 

“You like trouble, boss man.” You clicked a photo of him laughing before walking back onto the pitch. 

Making the rounds, the boys pretend you aren’t there as they go about their evening. You already mentioned you get the best photos that way; candid. 

There were a handful of solo shots being taken and you finally made it towards the group at back of the pitch. 

The Greek defender straightens up, his hands on his hips as he watches Cody pass the ball to Andy, who passed it to him. 

Andy knew the boys well enough to know at this point and in this heat, they’re just going through the motions. Hence his shock when he watched his teammate start showing off his tricks, starting his set of kick ups for no apparent reason. 

The Scotsman noticed your presence, the click of your camera catching his attention. He laughed, head leaning back as his hand came up to his chest. Virgil looks over in concern, confused as to why Andy started laughing by himself but when he realizes who was lurking around, he too laughs. 

“Kostas, man!” Ibou groans, “are you gonna pass the ball or not ?” 

“He won’t,” Andy butts in before Kostas can even react. “Don’t you see who’s over there?” He nods towards the woman just two feet away. “He’s showing off for y/n.” 

You can’t help the laugh you let out, rolling your eyes. “Shut up Andy,” you snorted. “I don’t know how Rachel puts up with you.” 

“It’s my wits and charm that keep her in love.” He flashed you a smile, making you chuckle as you shook your head. 

At this point, Ibou had managed to finally get the ball away from Kostas but lost it as he tried to get past Virgil - they called him big Virg for a reason.

It rolls over to you, you stop it by placing your foot on top of it. You pass it back in the same way they’d expect one of their teammates to kick it back to them. 

Kostas’s jaw hung open, shocked at how well you did that. 

“In slides,” Joel nods to himself in approval. “Well done, y/n.” 

You smiled, doing a little pose as you lifted your shoulder. “Got skills for days.” 

“With a Z?” Virgil looks over at you, a smile on his face. 

“Skills and days with a Z, big man.” The two of you shared a laugh. 

After what felt like a million hours in the heat, the boys were wrapping up and the kit men were packing up. You take a few minutes to pack up your camera stuff, a few of the boys were doing interviews and currently, it was Kostas’ turn. 

A few of the players watched him, making him nervous for no reason. “We wanna go, Kos. Hurry up.” Ibou teased, shouting from the little balcony. Trent butts in to say, “come on Kostas, I wanna go bro.” 

Virgil was watching them when you walked over. You peeked over the man’s shoulder who moves when he notices you, putting his arm around you before whispering in your ear. 

Kostas looks over when he hears your laugh and you could swear that you saw a flint of jealousy in his eyes. Surely that’s not it, everyone was just tired and the boys were annoying him.

That must be it. 

Ibou laughs when you whisper what Virgil had said to you.

He starts teasing his teammate once again; “Kostas, are you afraid? On the plane, no one can sleep because you talk too much. Now when you can talk, you don’t wanna talk.” 

You watch from the little balcony as Virgil and Ibou head down one by one, staring down the man doing his interview. Cody joins in on the fun and Kostas is so over them, internally groaning at his irritating teammates. 

They wanted to leave so badly and yet they were the ones that were causing him to take longer than necessary.  

You felt a bit bad about all the teasing, calling to the three troublemakers. ”Come on boys, leave Kostas alone.” 

“Yeah,” the Greek nods, “listen to y/n.” 

Cody snickers, “I bet you’d love to listen to y/n, huh?” 

Kostas is red in the face as Cody falls into Ibou laughing, the two of them in a fit of giggles. Kostas hoped he could blame the redness on the heat and you were getting closer by the second, the man was begging for a breeze to cool himself down.

Thankfully, you had missed the comment with the cheesy sexual innuendo because you were coming down the stairs a few feet away.

Once you made it over, you grabbed both Cody and Ibou by the wrists like school boys, pulling them up from their seats. All you had to do was look in Virgil’s direction for him to follow suit. 

“Let’s leave Kostas to finish his interview in peace, yeah?” 

The man in front the camera smiles, his heart fluttering at the sight of you - as was something else when he noticed the grey leggings you had on but those were thoughts best saved for when he was alone. 

---

The cold shower welcomed you back to the land of the living after the evening in the heat. You were getting ready to go over the photos from the session, your memory card plugged into your laptop to upload as you got ready after your shower. 

A knock on the door interrupts you as you brushed your hair. Setting the brush down, you made your way over to the door to see who it was. 

On the other side of the door stood Kostas, a green tube in his hand as he smiled at you. 

“Hey,” you smiled, confused as to why he was at your door. 

“Hey, I uh.. sorry I didn’t mean to bother you.” 

“You’re never a bother, is everything okay?” 

“Oh, yeah.” He nods, holding out the green tube to you. “You forgot this on the bench, or I guess it fell from your pocket?” 

It’s your chapstick, mint flavoured. Your initials are scribbled on the cap in black sharpie because you and Andy use the same one; this way there’s no confusion. 

“Oh thank you,” you reached over and took it from him. “You didn’t have to do that, I have like four more in my makeup bag. I lose these all the time,” you laughed, tucked it into the pocket of your shorts. 

Kostas shrugs, a smile on his face. The laptop chimed from its spot on the bed, signalling that it’s done uploading the pictures. 

“Wanna see the pictures from the training session? I have to go through them anyway and I got a few good ones of you.” 

The man peeked over your shoulder, “I couldn’t intrude.” 

“You’re not, I’m inviting you in.” 

You stepped to the side, letting him come in. Kostas follows you to the bed, watching as you climb onto it and pull the laptop onto your lap. You’ve got on a pair of black shorts and a red tshirt with a little lfc logo on the top. 

As much as he enjoyed the view, he’d like the outfit much better if it was on the floor. 

“Are you coming?” Your voice pulled him from his thoughts, patting the empty spot next to you. “I don’t bite.”

Kostas slips off his shoes, climbing onto the bed. “What if I want you to ?” His eyes meet yours. 

You assumed he was joking but you answered him regardless. “I will.. but only if you ask nicely.”

His cheeks have a red hue and he clears his throat when he settles down next to you. The man sat so stiff, a statue seemed like jello in comparison. His eyes fixed on the screen as you clicked through the pictures. 

Kostas watched your manicured nails click along the keyboard, tapping the screen as you pointed out things to him. All he could focus on was how good they’d feel if they were being dragged down his back - the red of your nails matching the colour of the marks left behind. 

“Those are really good,” he finally says. “You’re so talented, y/n.” 

It’s your turn to blush, waving off the compliment with a smile. “It’s nothing, really.” 

You sent the photos off to the socials admin, letting them share out what needed to be when your laptop chimed once more, letting you know it was low on battery. The laptop was on the bed when you leaned off the side of the bed to grab the charger. Instinctively, Kostas reaches out to hold your hips, making sure you don’t fall off the bed. 

His touch burnt into your skin, you could feel everything but you ignored the feeling bubbling in your gut. You plugged your laptop in and set it on the nightstand to charge. 

There’s a comfortable silence in the room so you look over at Kostas. “Are you hungry?” 

“Uh.. I could eat.” 

Kostas didn’t get the heads up before you reached over his lap and over to the other night stand to grab the room service menu.

The man’s brows furrowed as you sat back up. “I could have grabbed it for you.” 

“Oh that’s okay,” you shrugged, flipping through the pages. “What are you feeling? I’m thinking a burger, maybe pasta?” 

“Those are two very different things, y/n.” 

“I’m aware of that, duh. I figured I could get both and we could split it unless you want something else?” 

Kostas shook his head, “that’s fine.” 

You called and ordered the food, settling into the pillows behind you as you looked for a movie to put on in the meantime. Kostas’s eyes were fixed on you, you could feel them burning into your skin with each passing glance. 

“What?” 

“I’m sorry,” Kostas blurts, causing your brows to furrow. “You know, if the guys overstepped today.” 

“How did they overstep?” 

“With what Cody said.” 

Now you were really confused. “What did Cody do? He’s a sweetheart, I can’t imagine him saying anything bad.” You chuckled.  

Kostas internally groans, you clearly didn’t hear what Cody had said but now he’s got to explain. “He uh- he said how I’d like to listen to you.” 

You make a face; “what does that even mean?” 

“Well,” Kostas started, clearly a bit uncomfortable explaining the context of said statement. “I guess he meant.. in bed.” 

“Oh.” You pulled your lips together, holding back a snicker. You often forget that despite all being grown ass men and professional footballers, they had the minds of 15 year old boys. 

There’s a moment of quietness before you speak; “and would you?” 

Kostas stops picking at his nail to look at you, “would I?” He trails off. 

“Would you listen to me.. in bed?” 

Your eyes finally met his; there’s a sense of urgency that flashed in his brown eyes, his cheeks flushed red despite the AC running and it’s like you can hear the gears turning in his head. He’s trying to think of the right way to say this without scaring you off.

“Yes.” 

There’s a slight smile playing on your lips, you can’t help but reach out and hold his chin, forcing him to focus solely on you. 

“Good.” 

Kostas isn’t exactly sure what flipped in him but he leans over and into you, chest pressed to yours as his lips meet yours. 

There’s an instant connection between the two of you as if you’d been a couple for years; Kostas’s hands find your hips, pulling you over and on top of him. You straddled the player under you, hands cupping his jaw in an attempt to pull him closer.

The two of you were as close as you could possibly get, his warm hands slipped under the red shirt you had on. 

Your own hands pulled on his shirt, the two of you separating for a second to pull it off completely - a second that felt like an eternity to him. 

Just as he does to pull your shirt up, there’s a knock on the door. The man groans, dropping his face into your chest. 

You grab a handful of his hair, pulling his head back. Kostas groans, a happy one but looks up at you. “It’s the room service.” 

“Tell them to take it back,” he pulls you against him for another kiss. 

You giggled, getting off of his lap. Kostas rolls over on the bed and grabs your wrist, pulling you back to the edge of the bed. “Kos,” you whine, trying to get your hand loose. 

“Whattttt?” He reaches over to give you one more kiss. 

“The food is gonna get cold, let me just grab it.” 

“Then you’ll come right back?” 

“Yes.” 

“Promise?” He held his pinky out to you. 

You laughed, interlocking your pinky with him. “Promise.” 

He lets you grab the food from outside, the hotel staff left the tray outside considering that you didn’t answer the door. You leant down to grab it off the trolley and you could feel Kostas’s eyes on your ass. 

“I can feel you staring.” 

He smiles, waiting for you to put the tray down. “Staring never hurt anyone.” 

“I mean, if you’re a stalker it probably would.” 

Kostas rolls his eyes playfully, pulling you back onto the bed with him. His lips find yours again, the two of you tangled together on top of the sheets. 

You’re on your sides, looking at each other. Your finger traced over his jaw, Kostas turns his head to press a kiss to it.  

“It wasn’t so hard for you to admit you liked me, hm?” 

“You say that as if you knew,” he laughed. 

“Of course I knew.” 

“You did?” He looked a bit shocked. You never give him any signals that you had a clue.

“I told you I got skills for days, with a Z.” 

Kostas laughs, pulling you into him. “Oh shut up.” 

---

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[respectthepetty]

Is Zo really clueless though?

I'm firmly in the boat that Zo is clueless and doesn't notice the twenty-two million signs radiating off of Joke that Joke is in love with him. Much like he doesn't notice that Wave has feelings of affection for him. (I wrote what I wrote)

But . . .

Might Zo be testing Joke?

What if Zo is playing his own game?

Zo keeps pushing Joke to state, well, anything. Zo is constantly irritated with Joke because he feels Joke isn't taking anything seriously, while it's clear that Zo takes everything seriously. So with that logic, wouldn't Zo take what Joke says and sings seriously? When they argued during freshman year, Zo believed everything Joke said and thought that's why Joke kept his distance from Zo. So once again, if Zo believed that then, why would he magically not believe anything Joke says now?

Like when Joke said he felt he was ready to confess to his crush, Zo didn't look mad (like he indicates later stating he thinks Joke is picking on him about Nita). Instead he laughs and smiles.

Then, when they are leaving the bar, Zo tells Joke his speech was "good enough"

Zo keeps asking Joke who these songs and speeches are about if not about him (and Nita), but Joke refuses to answer.

Joke says this on the bike.

Yet Zo responds he can't hear Joke and tells him to say it again.

And when Joke tells him it was nothing, Zo reacts the same way he did in the bar. He smiles and shakes his head. Because maybe, just maybe, Zo knows how Joke feels, but he is wanting him to confess it. Seriously.

And all the conversations? What were they about? Zo is the one who didn't want to have the debate topic be "Hidden Agendas" and he was the one who questioned Wave picking that topic, yet he dropped this banger during the debate.

For a guy who is hoping to get the girl by seeking the advice of her ex-boyfriend, he went hard in the paint for being honest from the beginning about people's intentions and feelings. But Joke responded with it being about timing.

All roads lead to QueerVille to me, so I took this as code for being out and when people should come out, but connecting it back to the food conversation, does Zo actually know and is coming to terms with Joke's feelings for him on his own terms?

Joke's favorite drink is sour because everything about Joke is brazen so what if instead of Joke changing Zo to be Nita's dream guy, Zo is changing Joke to be a more serious and less brash guy aka Zo's dream guy.

Random sidenote: Zo was scheduling something for three people.

But his friends only mentioned his mom.

So who's the third person?

Once again, I believe Zo is clueless to ALL the men who like him, but their drinks being swapped has me thinking that Zo knows a lot more than he leads on.

Think about it. Zo isn't that clueless, right?

Right?