#and yet the biggest one is still he's own dumbassery | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hiro-gari · 4 years ago

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-Hanahaki Disease concept modification: Flower Tattoos Blossoming AU headcanon- by: Little1993lamb

I have this Hanahaki Disease concept but been trying to make more happier version. Because while I love the angst or hurt/comfort that associated with this trope, I still wanna make Badd and Garou together without any suffering, especially for Valentine's Day! Just pure dumbassery and oblivious mutual pining (or mutual in-denial, lmao) 😆💝💐

Thus, this concept was born: Instead of vomitting flower petals and suffering through it after falling in love with someone, small flowers tattoos will blooming from chest area where the heart is located at, and scattering across a person's entire chest until it forming into their crush's initial name.

The blooming process of flower tattoos formation doesn't hurt the person, but it will spread across more further onto other body parts like arms/legs/face, until it becomes very noticeable to see if the person won’t admit their feelings to their crush. It’ll spreading further until they confessed their love. Once the person confessed their feeling, the blooming process would be stopped.

There are 2 results after love confession or after the crush noticed their feeling:

1. If the crush rejected their love: the complementary flower tattoos across their body will looked like wilting and retracted back into person’s heart area and leaving a bruise-like shaped like the former main flower tattoo mark at it (if rejection hurts the person), or disappear with no trace (if the person accept their rejection and can move-on). Same cases if someone decided to break up with their lover;

2. If the crush reciprocated their love: the complementary flower tattoos across their body will retracted back BUT the flowers doesn’t wilt during the process. The main flower tattoos on their heart and their crush initial name’s flower tattoo formation will be remain imprinted on their chest. Not to mention, the colour of main flower tattoos will be even more vivid than before.

Now let’s imagine Batarou in this scenario...

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After Garou and Badd living together, Garou start to develop romantic feeling for Badd. He wont admited it but he was actually having a crush and deep admiration for the hardworking hero but Garou didn't realized that it would grow more further into romantic love, and not platonic friendship love anymore.

When it happened, Garou found out a small pink Magnolia flower tattoo blooming on his chest are above his heart. Then day by day, the more he falls in love with Badd, the more tiny tattoos spreading and blossoming until it covered his entire chest.

At this stage, Garou recognized a small cursive word on his chest made from clustered tiny lil flower tattoos, forming a name: Badd. The name was surrounded by bigger yet equally beautiful Magnolia flowers tattoos. The meaning of flower language is: beauty, nobility, and dignity. Perfectly represented on what and who Badd is as an S-Class hero.

Garou didn't want Badd to see his tattoos nor confessed his love for him. He still wasn't sure if Badd has the same feeling as him or even seeing him more than a bestfriend. So Garou tried his best hiding those tattoos from Badd's sight.

Then it got worsened.

After the magnolia flower tattoos filled his entire skin on his chest, it spreading further on other areas such as his abs, his back, arms, legs. Even now it had been already reaching his collarbone area ready to spread on Garou's neck. Also it has different type of flower tattoo than the one he has on his chest. It was red Carnation flowers. The meaning of flower language is: deep love and admiration.

Therefore, Garou has two kind of flower tattoos: pink Magnolias on his chest as the main tattoo representated who he loves, then red Carnations on other body areas as the complementary tattoo representated what he feels for the person.

Combining these flowers meant: "I deeply admiring and loving Badd for his beauty, nobility, and dignity, both as a hero and as a person".

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Unbeknown by Garou, Badd actually had been secretly crushing on him. Since he knows the truth about Garou's true self that he's not a real bad guy and still has pure-heart, Badd start to like him more. He was so happy on the day he found Garou again and successfully bringing him into his house, at least he has a chance to have fresh start on building newfound friendship.

At first he only adored Garou as roommate or friend, but the feeling start to grow as longing one as he spent more time together with Garou. He was longing for Garou's sincere affections or even intimate touch such as warm hugs and intimate embraces, or kisses and loving gazes from the wolf boy.

That's when Badd waking up with freshly blooming Gladiolus flower on his chest above his heart. At first it's just one flower, fhen it keep adding and blooming one more flower per day.

Until they formed diagonal colorful Gladiolus flower spikes across his chest, with the biggest and brightest colored one blossomed on above his heart. On the middle of his pecs, there's cursive words made by tiny lil Gladiolus flower spikes forming a name: Garou. The meaning of flower language is: strength, faithfulness, and sincerity. Just like what Garou has in himself that Badd absolutely adored for.

He really wanted to spill all of his heart content for Garou but he didn't know if Garou likes him the way Badd likes Garou. Thus Badd refused to confess it to him, decided that the best way is to bottled up his love and longing feeling for Garou.

Knowing how stubborn Badd is at hiding his own feeling, the tattoos growing more further on his body. Now it has complementary tattoo with pink and red Camellias, which are nearly covered Badd's entire body except his hands, his neck and face. The flower language for pink Camellia is longing, while red Camellia is passion and desire. Hence, those expressed a new meaning as romantic passionate love.

Combining these flowers meant: "I'm longing and desired for Garou's romantic love, I admired him for his courage and strength to do something he believes on, also for his sincerity and kindness in his pure heart".

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Usually both Garou and Badd wearing long shirt or turtleneck combined with long pants even in home, which is fortunately helped them hiding their tattoo marks that have been blooming on their entire body from eachother. They avoided on have a shower or bathing together, even more ridiculous they also avoided changing clothes in the same room.

That happened for a week and both of them starting to get suspicious for the other's weird new behaviour, wondering why they have been so awkward to eachother during those time. But then one day, when Badd had just arrived at home after a mission with tattered clothes, he forgot to put his school jacket uniform on.

Once Garou laid his eyes on Badd's exposed tattoo-covered body underneath his tattered outfit, he immediately asking Badd if Badd has a crush on someone lately and who is this lucky person. Badd was caught off-guard by Garou's question, but he dodged it quickly as the hero excused himself to the bathroom. That dismissive reaction made Garou frowned.

Garou was a bit hurt by the fact Badd was in love someone without telling him, he couldn't help but feels jealous for whoever gets Badd's unconditional love. It's not like Garou wont allows Badd to love someone, but a tiny egoistic part of Garou wanted to it to be HIM. He wanted all of Badd and will not sharing him with anyone else (Zenko is the only exception as she is their family so no problem).

But Garou understood Badd decision to hide the flower blooming tattoos from him. Maybe Badd wasn't ready enough to tell about it as it's very personal thing. Maybe he wanted to talk to him after all is settled.

Same as Badd, Garou himself also didn't wanna talk about his own blooming tattoos that have been spreading on all of his body and limbs, except his face thanks to holding back his longing feeling.

Thus, he wont push the matter to Badd. Garou would wait until he comes to him on his own term.

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On the other hand, Badd was so scared that his little secret has been exposed to Garou because of his own clumsiness. Now Garou would questioning who the hell his crush is. He feels guilty not telling about this before to Garou but what was he supposed to do?

Spilling the truth which would automatically makes him revealed his feeling for the handsome wolf boy? What if Garou doesn't even like him and feels disgusted by the confession? Honestly Badd wasn't strong enough to face Garou's rejection, especially that he had been falling so hard in love with him. He doubted if fighting spirit could mend and heal a broken heart.

So, Badd kept his deeply longing feels from Garou, locked it inside his heart. Hopefully it wont affect the growth of his blooming flower tattoos as he wont like it when Garou noticed him covered in colourful tattoos from head to toe.

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Garou thought Badd would confess his love as soon as possible, so his tattoo would stop blooming and Badd finally could get together with whoever his crush is. Because for Garou, Badd's happiness is the most important thing to him. He wouldn't ruin it just because he has a special feeling for the beautiful hero.

If that happens, maybe Garou can confess his feeling for Badd then let go of his love instantly. His own tattoo would wilting just like his heart wilting from unrequited love. Garou hoped the tattoo would be disappear with no trace as he moves on from Badd, but he didn't mind if it left a bruise, marking that one time in his life he was deeply in love with Badd.

But Garou's prediction was wrong.

Badd's tattoos still hasn't disappeared yet. It's even spreading further onto his face! That's the red flag warning because the moment flower tattoos start blooming on someone face, they must immediately confess their feeling. Once they do it, no matter what's the result, the complementary tattoos would be retracted back.

So why hasn't Badd confessed yet? Is there something wrong?

Couldn't take it anymore seeing Badd in such miserable condition, Garou decided to confront Badd after a hero mission. He genuinely wanted to help Badd going through his problem if there's any. By doing that, Garou would put aside his own feeling and prioritized Badd's happiness.

When Garou approached Badd in his room and calmly asked about his current situation, Badd attempted to flee from conversation. But before Badd successfully escaped from the room Garou already caught him in his embrace, begging the struggling Badd to listen to him.

Garou explained that he would help Badd to be together with someone Badd really likes, or at least talking to eachother, whatever it takes. If needed, Garou would also captured and dragged that person in so they can hear Badd's confession. Badd replied that it was kinda impossible to do that (and also silly to think of because the person he loves was actually Garou himself, what Garou would do? dragged himself in??). Badd also wasn't convinced if that person even likes him romantically or even wanted to be with him.

After calming Badd down in his arms (and calming himself down because he was currently hugging his crush), Garou tilted Badd's face. Gently caressing his tattooed cheek, thumb brushing on the freshly blooming pink Camellia tattoo on Badd's cheekbone.

Garou thought, 'Longing for that hard, huh, Badd? Who is this person you longing for?". He gazed at Badd's dark chocolate eyes, which are already looking teary and glassy from holding back internal frustation with a hint of sadness. Garou hated to see Badd like this, especially when he bottled up all of his feelings. Then Garou shifted his eyes on Badd's lips. He must refrain himself from kissing him senseless, to wash away every sadness from the hero. But it's not Garou's right to do it when Badd already has someone who owns his heart.

At last, Garou was pleading to Badd for dropping the person's name, he would helped Badd find this person so he could confess all of his feeling for them.

Seeing Garou's strong determination, Badd couldn't help but surrendered to his doomed fate. Badd was sure he would embarassed himself after the confession, letting Garou know that he has been stupidly fell in love with him after all this time. Only to receive impending rejection from the wolf boy.

Badd sighed loudly while released himself from Garou's arms, ready to spilll the truth in front of Garou. Slowly he took his shirt off, revealing how the colourful flower tattoos covered his entire torso.

Then as soon as Garou laid his eyes on the name written on his chest, Badd closed his eyes, not wanting to see Garou's disappointed or disgusted expression. Badd could forget turndown talk but sure as hell he wont forget the look of judging face. That's why he closed his eyes. He waited for Garou's reaction.

But it hasn't coming as he heard nothing from Garou for a whole minute. Taking a courage, Badd opened his eyes again.

What Badd saw was Garou's dumbstrucked face as his eyes still zero-ing on his own name that written on Badd's pecs. After realizing he was stared back by Badd, Garou immediately taking off his turtleneck shirt. It was when Badd got dumbstrucked in turn.

There Garou was, bare-chested showing off his own flower tattoo-covered body in front of Badd. On his chest was obviously Badd's name, beautifully written made from those tiny pink flower tattoos. Badd looked back at Garou's face, who currently smiling happily for him.

So the whole time they both have been secretly doing mutual pining for eachother like a lovestrucked dumbass??

With that big revelation from eachother, Badd bursted out laughing so hard then running back towards Garou's awaiting arms, inhaling his calming scent before continuing to laugh happily.

Badd just felt both stupid and relieved. Why didn't he just confess to Garou as soon as possible and found the wonderful result instead of making himself in miserable state by worrying about Garou's feeling for him thus prolonging his pining until his whole body covered by these bright colourful flowery tattoos. Now that his love has been reciprocated, Badd was in bliss. He thought he cried a little from the sheer happiness and relief.

Badd felt a pair of lips touched his forehead in a lingering kiss, and the moment he looked up Garou already giving him those trademark cheeky grin, then peck his nose in adorkable manner.

Both Garou and Badd laugh wholeheartedly together while also rubbing their noses in Eskimo kisses. They just happy to know that they have the same feelings towards eachother after the whole silly mutual pining for months already.

Badd tiptoed and clung his arms around Garou's neck so their hug becomes closer until their bare-chest flushed together. He nuzzled Garou’s neck then gazing softly into his bright golden eyes, soft smile on his lips.

Badd could feels Garou's tighter hold around his slim waist in a possessive way, then with so much tenderness and gentle voice, Garou whispered his love confession for Badd.

Even though both of them already know that their feelings are returned, but it didn't hurt if Garou said it directly to his beloved hero. Make the confession clear and unhesitantly so there will be no doubtness anymore between them.

The heartwarming confession left Badd at a loss of words. Never have expected he would hear Garou said those declaration of love before. He had been yearning for Garou to say that words to him after all this time, but never had courage to ask it from the wolf boy because he didn't to make him weirded or uncomfortable if the feeling wasn't reciprocated. Badd would definitely choose to fight Dragon-level monsters than asking Garou out to date him.

Yet here Garou is, whispering those loving sentences into his ear, reassuring Badd that he is indeed is loved by Garou. That made Badd got teary-eyed again, he just so happy finally they could be together.

To complete Garou's confession, he pulled the taller man down a bit and kissed him softly on lips. Despite the kiss was just for a brief moment but it was very sweet for Badd. This was his first kiss and he gave it to the man he loved the most.

Once he released the kiss, their lips still barely apart, Badd in turn whispered his own declaration of love into their warm breath they have shared. Not forgetting to looking up so Garou could see his joyful smile full of adoration for him.

Replied with the same adoring smile, Garou kissed Badd slow but passionately. He poured all of his feeling out into the kiss. The love he feels for Badd never once wavering nor faltered, it strenghtened throughout time they’ve been together. Just like this moment.

For a brief second Garou letting go of their lip-locking act to take a breath, then resumed the kiss with even more intimacy than before. It made Badd whimpering softly into Garou’s mouth, his knees weakened and he’d be fallen down if not for Garou’s strong arms supporting his standing position.

Not too long after that, Garou ended their intimate kiss but still peppering small kisses on both of Badd’s cheeks, nose, forehead, then on the top of his head while inhaling his hair scent.

Unbeknown by them, the flower tattoos that covered their bodies had been retracted back slowly as Garou and Badd celebrating their love union together in silence. Only ticking clocks and the lovers' soft humming sounds could be heard in the room.

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It's already late night, Badd and Garou spending time just lying on the bed together, each other's hand were tracing the remaining flower tattoo marks on the other's chest.

On Garou's chest, there's only one big bright pink Magnolia flower mark that located above his heart, and Badd's name formation made from tiny flower clusters in the middle of his pecs. All surrounded by a few of smaller Magnolia tattoos that scattered across his chest. The red Carnation complementary tattoos had disappeared entirely as Garou's feeling already delivered and reciprocated.

On Badd's chest, there's only one big flower spikes of Gladiolus flower mark that were located diagonally across his chest, starts from his right lower ribcage and ended on his left collarbone, with the biggest and brightest single Gladiolus flower blossom among the spikes on above his heart. And Garou's name formation made from tiny curved flower spikes in the middle of his pecs. The pink and red Camellias complementary tattoos also had disappeared entirely once Badd finally confessed his love for Garou.

Badd was impressed after learning about Garou's tattoos meaning which represented all of his best feature. That means those were what in Garou's mind whenever he thinks about Badd. "Beauty, nobility, and dignity, huh? I'm flattered, honestly", he nodded in approval.

On the other hand, Garou was very amused for the meaning behind Badd's tattoos to represent him. So, in the end, it showed that the hero was absolutely attracted to him very badly after seeing his true self. "Strength, faithfulness, and sincerity? Are you sure you talked about me, hmm, babe?", Garou teasing Badd who flustered at his words.

When the moonlight shining through the window, both of them already sleeping in each other's arms. They sleep peacefully with a soft content smile plastered on their face, enjoyed the warmth of their tight embrace.

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Notes:

Yooo I know this headcanon writing is very messy, and not to mention with the butchered English I'm so sorry waaah 😭🙇💦

I was thinking to make a special Valentine's Day Batarou headcanon as a gift for the fandom. But I couldn't think a good idea lately, so I just pick some older headcanon and trying to rewrite it into a longer version ehehe! 😅😎 You could find it here: https://kaincuro.tumblr.com/post/611523394277687296

I decided to write and finished it to you before the actual Valentine's Day because why not? You get Early Valentine's Day gift from me yaayyy!! 😆💕💝

This headcanon was specially written for: @hiro-gari, @the-goddessfighter, @kaincuro, @guby1620, @garous-nipple, @jusqu-une-etudiante, and @lovelybutnot-ablankcanvas

Also of course, for all of Batarou shippers in the fandom! 💖💖

HAPPY (Early) VALENTINE'S DAY, GUYS! 😚🎉🎉🍫💝💐 While it's not perfect nor impressionable, I hope you still like this humble present from me 😅🙏🙇

Thank you so much for reading, and also thank you for letting me support this fandom I love you all very much! 😘❤💜💙💖💝💐

-Little1996lamb-

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~Lilia:

asdshdfjk I saw Hanahaki Disease and went 😳 *clutches chest* o h nooo But oh my goodness this is a beautiful concept!! 🌸 You put such a soft and lovely creative twist on it

Especially perfect for these two, who literally might need to be covered in flowery tattoos so they can finally Figure It Out™️ but we love them anyways!!

Thank you so much for this warm fluffy writing, it’s so perfect for Valentines Day 🥺💕 WE ALL LOVE YOU TOO

Happy Valentines Day!! 💐💗

#ps tysm for the flower lore and symbolism 👌#I love your choices for them sm #this is a beautiful gift THANK YOU for sharing it with us #you are a blessing to this fandom 🥺#submission #batarou #au #headcanons #hanahaki disease #metal bat #garou #opm

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 4 years ago

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Do you know how crazy it would be if there were an AU where all of the Perry-centered AUs anons have pitched to you over the past few months were all stitched together? Say there was as alternate universe where Perry is a robot and OWCA has many copies of himself and he's raising an organic platypus baby with whatever the heck a capybara is, and that's all without context!

okay I literally have three asks that I should be answering before this one if I go in like wait-list order (is that even English who the fuck knows at this point) but this one is KILLING ME and I have an answer it immediately okay hold on I gotta go check my list of asks to see what we gotta work in and I’m totally including headcanons with the AUs to make this into the biggest and best trainwreck of all time

Okay so we start with day one: OWCA’s training regiment at The Academy is super harsh, and it turns Perry into the supersoldier he is. This is, of course, because Perry is a robot. One day, robot Perry stumbles upon Phineas and Ferb, and the kids play around with his wiring and give him Feelings™. Essentially, this means that the kids saved him from a cold, dark, meaningless existence. They don’t know it yet, but Perry was actually sent to them to keep an eye on them, though OWCA did not anticipate that the boys would mess with his software.

Perry goes missing one day, and OWCA panics and makes a whole new Perry robot to replace him, thus inventing the Perry clones. Each agent has to upload their memories every now and then, which means Monogram can just insert Perry’s mental hard drive into a new Perry robot. I guess somehow in the process the og blueprints got a little fucked up because they now match what Phineas and Ferb did to Perry, and while OWCA had questioned it at Perry’s last physical, they note that Perry is doing better than ever -- though he is a little more benevolent, which they’re not sure they like -- so they don’t really question it.

As the years pass, more and more Perrys go missing or die or get captured or whatever, and at this point, OWCA just has a whole fucking army of robot Perrys chilling in the OWCA basement so that whenever a new one needs to replace an old one, he’s ready. He lets all the platypuses run around Danville, possibly after they escaped on their own, and now all the platypuses in Danville are Perry clones. Across the 2nd Dimension comes along now, and in the 2nd Dimension, the clone robot Perry program has already been shut down because 2D Doof would be too powerful with an army of Perryborgs. Perry does a really good job at keeping the mindless platypus facade up at first, even though 2D Doof knows it’s him because he recognizes Phineas and Ferb from Perryborg’s locket. They mostly manage to work together without Perry revealing himself until the very end, when they’re having that last-ditch effort back in the first dimension to stop 2D Doof from taking over.

Okay this is where I’m getting a lil confused because I have four ways this could go right now: Coby the Capybara starts working for OWCA, the og robot Perry from before the clones thing shows up, the butler!Perry doesn’t write “I fight evil” au, or the au where Perry gets zapped by the ultimate-evil-inator in Where’s Perry. They all gotta make it in here eventually, but I have spent like ten minuntes trying to decide whether I want Coby or the og Perry to come back first, and whether either or both of them should be back for butler!Perry or evil!Perry, and I do not fucking know so I’m just gonna wing it and hope for the best lmao

First comes Coby the Capybara. I guess he’s now also a robot, right? But he doesn’t have any clones? I think is how these headcanons work? So Perry has no idea why the fuck this new guy is so happy and annoyingly optimistic because he’s literally just a robot but whatever, as long as Perry can stay away it’s all good, right? But Coby basically inserts himself into Perry’s life, and while most agents don’t have host families, OWCA makes an exception here because the Flynn-Fletchers have basically already adopted him and it can’t hurt to have two agents keeping an eye on those kids, right? And they don’t really get along that well at first because they’re so different. Usually it’s Perry that gets annoyed at Coby, but sometimes it’s the other way around. For instance, Coby gets really fucking annoyed at how Perry doesn’t let him have any fun. So what if he gets needlessly risky when it comes to almost revealing his secret identity? It’s fun, something that Perry has apparently never heard of. And while Coby is fooling around with all Perry’s shit, he finds the pictures from the second dimension, and he’s about to go chew Perry out for being such a fucking hypocrite until he reads the lowkey diary entry that goes with the pictures where Perry admits to being scared out of his mind the entire time and how it crushed him because he can’t let it show that it got to him at all because he’s a robot and he’s not supposed to have feelings. I choose to think for maximum angst reasons that Phineas and Ferb didn’t play around with his wiring because unlike when Perry first wandered in, they knew Coby was a conscious animal. Still, Coby knows Perry has human-like emotions, even if he can’t quite understand them, and he knows he can’t imagine what Perry had to go through. Coby is a lot nicer around Perry and doesn’t risk blowing their covers as much after that or at least not where Perry can see it, and as time goes on, Coby also becomes a much better agent, too, until they’re basically equals, and, more importantly, they’re family.

I think I’d rather the evil Perrys come before the og Perry comes back but I do also wanna throw Coby in just for kicks, so we’re gonna skip on over to the ultimate-evil-inator Where’s Perry au. The Flynn-Fletchers and their friends are all in Africa, but, unlike Coby, Perry couldn’t get the time off. He gets hit by the inator, obviously, and turns evil, and he strings Heinz along to get what he wants. To briefly summarize the description from the post, basically Perry uses Heinz just long enough to take over the tri-state area, and to do so, he needs to capture everyone he deems a threat, which includes everyone from OWCA.

The kids come home to find that somehow their dumb little platypus took over, and they decide they’re the tri-state area’s only hope so they set off to stop him. This is where it differs from the og ask: now we’ve got Coby in the picture. Coby works for OWCA so obviously he knows the ins and outs of the city better than these kids do and he makes it to wherever Perry’s hiding out before everyone else. Perry has his robot army grab him, but Coby demands that Perry let him talk and for some inexplicable reason, Perry does. Coby basically begs him to back down (and it doesn’t work). He reminds Perry that these people did nothing wrong and they don’t deserve this (and it doesn’t work). He tells Perry that this is just a victory for Heinz, even if the poor dude’s now in prison, and that Perry’s not supposed to let Heinz win (and it doesn’t work). He pops open his collar locket and shows Perry the picture of the two of them with the three kids, and begs Perry not to let anything happen to them because they’re family... and it still doesn’t work. Perry orders the robots to execute Coby, but then Phineas, Ferb, and their friends show up and start talking over each other a mile a minute except Ferb but his silence is just as wholesome in Perry’s eyes and Perry looks between the kids and Coby and he realizes that this is Not Good™

Perry just drops to all fours, orders the guards to release everyone, and pretends it never happened. Coby’s kinda taken by surprise, but he’s not shocked -- Perry is nothing but a family man, even if he can’t admit it -- so he also drops to all fours and pretends nothing happened. The kids are really confused, but hey, everyone’s happy so it’s all good, right?

But now that we’re basically talking about the entire summer, I feel like this is a great time to talk about what happens after he becomes evil and then becomes good again, and how that sets him up for the next time he becomes evil because the poor guy can’t catch a break. I know I touched upon it in the reblog that’s linked with the post, but because of all the AUs, it’s more complicated than that (not because it has to be more complicated but because I like overcomplicated things). At least in the original AU, OWCA would probably expect Perry to feel a little down, but now that he’s a robot who’s not supposed to have feelings, he has to pretend it doesn’t bother him, and I have to imagine that would make him feel even worse. He’s a little wary around not only Heinz because he’s seen for the first time what his nemesis is capable of without remorse bearing in mind that the second dimension didn’t go the way it went in the movie so he never saw the worst of his dimension’s Heinz, but also around the kids because he’s afraid of them getting hurt if he gets too close, especially because OWCA doesn’t know he actually cares about them.

And that’s where everybody’s favorite capybara comes in. Coby himself may not have real feelings, but he knows Perry does and he does consider Perry to be family, even if it doesn’t necessarily mean the same thing to him as a robot as it would to anyone else. Coby tries really hard to cheer him up and to assure his friend that he’s here for him if he ever wants to talk, but Perry turns him down every time because even though Coby can handle himself, Perry doesn’t want his own dumbassery to put him at risk. Still, even if he doesn’t consciously realize it, having Coby around makes him feel a little more welcome, even after that whole debacle.

And then we’re gonna go with Butler!Perry, because why not make him turn evil twice? But again, because Coby’s here, I’m gonna change up how it goes just a little. So basically Remains of the Platypus goes how it usually does, with Heinz turning Perry into his butler and Carl trying to give Perry his hat and Monogram is eating cheese and all that ish. But as the au says, Perry doesn’t write “I fight evil” on his chest, so he doesn’t remember that he’s one of the good guys after Carl spills juice all over his shirt. Heinz sends Carl back to OWCA and spends the next few days gloating because haha I have your favorite agent and in your face, Francis! and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Coby has been trained not to ask questions, and, as a robot, he’s really not supposed to break protocol or people are going to start asking questions. But the boys are starting to get really nervous and honestly, so is he, so he finally says “fuck it” and during his next mission briefing, he asks Monogram where Perry is. Monogram explains the whold predicament and basically says that as long as Perry doesn’t want to come back, their hands are tied. Coby’s hands are tied, too, in the sense that he has to take the case he’s given regardless of his own feelings and preferred agenda, so he reluctantly accepts his case and does his shit, and then he heads to DEI to see Perry. Heinz is just kinda vibin, probably watching TV and Perry’s, like, massaging his feet or something idfk Heinz is a weird dude. Coby breaks down the door and Heinz would do something about it but he’s also really investing in his relationship in the soap opera so he tells Perry to go take care of it. This time, since the problem is that Perry doesn’t remember anything and not that he’s legitimately evil, Coby manages to bring back his Perry by taking Perry’s collar off and showing him the locket and idk maybe he has to show Perry that he has a locket like that, too, just for the cuteness factor. Perry snaps out of it, and he and Coby beat the shit out of Heinz before heading back home together, and fortunately no one at OWCA questions it because they’re just glad to have Agent P back.

Now Perry’s really wary around Heinz because this is the second time he’s turned him evil and, unlike the in original au, it wasn’t Heinz who decided to change him back. Their nemesisship takes a really big hit here, and nothing Heinz does can fix it. At the same time, though, Perry’s almost feeling better now than he did before, because even if he can’t trust his nemesis, he knows he can trust Coby. They truly are an inseparable duo...

Until they become a trio?

One day, a new platypus robot walks in the yard and he looks like a mess. He’s covered in scratches and wounds so deep that his wiring is coming through and sparking and it looks like he’s about to explode at any minute. That ends up being the original Perry robot, and he’s not very happy to see another platypus in his yard. Phineas and Ferb see him and they take him in because he obviously needs help, and once they’ve fixed him up, they decide they’re going to keep this new platypus and name him Bartholomew. Everything is sunshine, unicorns, and rainbows because yippee-doo, their family grows, right?

But Perry and Coby aren’t stupid. Contrary to popular believe, robot animals don’t wander into yards for no reason, no matter how many times the boys think it’s happened to them. So the three of them finally get the chance to talk, and it doesn’t really go well. Neither Perry was aware that there were Perry clones, and though they can sort of figure it out because they both have their one-of-a-kind locket with a picture of them and the boys as babies (though Perry is very disappointed to realize this is actually a picture of Bartholomew as a baby, not him), they’re not happy about it. The three of them head down to Perry and Coby’s shared lair and demand answers from Monogram, who basically explains that yes, they did clone Bartholomew, but they’d been looking for hi for days and the boys were getting antsy. They didn’t want to put the kids in danger if they discovered something they weren’t supposed to, so they basically said fuck it, let’s make a new Perry. Monogram neglects to mention that they’ve done this numerous times before and that every Danville platypus is a Perry clone.

Bartholomew and Perry don’t get along at first, and since neither of them have any reason to dislike Coby, he ends up being the mediator most of the time. Monogram tries to assign both platypuses to the same mission once, and Coby shuts that down immediately because they would literally murder each other. Bartholomew never met Heinz so that stays Perry’s thing, even though they’re still on pretty rough terms. Coby and Bartholomew do their own stuff, and for the most part, the two platypuses only interact when they have to -- when the boys want all their pets together or when Monogram needs to see all three agents.

And then Monogram realizes that he doesn’t really need three agents to watch two boys, so he reassigns Bartholomew to the Regurgitator case. He figures Perry’s been there the longest and Coby’s more familiar with the older Phineas and Ferb. Bartholomew’s been gone for so long that he’s probably the least useful one there. Monogram delivers the news to him alone, and when he refuses to take no for an answer, Bartholomew rebels. He explains the whole predicament to Perry and Coby, and while Coby sympathizes, Perry agrees with Monogram. Neither of them want to do anything to help, so Bartholomew basically says “fuck it, I’ll give you a reason to help me,” and reveals his identity to Phineas, Ferb, and Candace. At that point, there’s no reason for Perry and Coby to keep theirs a secret, because the kids are smart enough to figure it out themselves. Now that they’ve all revealed their identities, they’re all at risk of relocation if OWCA catches them (except Bartholomew who’s probably in more danger than them because he directly defied orders to do this, but come on, after the shit he’s seen, he can deal with them). In a desperate attempt to keep the family together, the three of them, accompanied by the kids and all their friends, start an uprising against OWCA. Perry decides to meet up with an old friend, Dennis the Rabbit, for a little help because he knows Dennis is just as pissed at OWCA as they are.

I feel like that should be enough to reform OWCA, but because we still have a fuck ton of AUs left, it’s just enough to convince OWCA to lay off the punishments a little bit. The family gets to stay together, but only if the kids lose their memories. Just for kicks, Dennis gets to join the Flynn-Fletchers’ pet squad, too, but he comes with a collar this time that has his name so Candace stops calling him Mr. Cutie Patootie. Otherwise, everything goes back to normal, and now there are four animal agent robot thingies living with the Flynn-Fletchers, which is exceptionally weird because, again, the agents don’t typically have host families. Still, at least they kids are being watched, right?

One night, Heinz breaks into OWCA for one of his schemes, and he discovers the Perry cloning program. He only gets to read some of it because most of it is classified, but he gets the gist. He’s not sure what to do with this information, so he just kinda leaves and pretends he never saw it. But when he sees Perry the next day, he decides that’s not something he can just leave alone. He tries to get access to the files with Perry’s DNA and with Carl’s, but neither of them work so he somehow copies Monogram’s handprint and uses that. He’s in the middle of reading all about the program and all the different Perrys they’ve made and how different ones have been lost and/or destroyed, and then Monogram walks in. In the original au, Heinz destroys the machine, destroying the clone Perry in the process, and runs from OWCA to find the real Perry. I don’t particularly want this Perry to die, nor do I want Heinz to go on a wild goose hunt when the original Perry is literally Bartholomew and probably like two miles away, so that’s not gonna happen. Instead, Heinz promises he’s not going to do anything with this information and he leaves.

When he fights Perry the next time he tells Perry all about what he found. He admits that he tried hacking in with Perry’s handprint and with Carl’s and that he eventually had to use Monogram’s. He explains that the whole idea makes him incredibly uncomfortable and feels too evil, even for him, and that he almost destroyed the machine because it would end the program, but he decided against it because he likes Perry a lot, even if it’s just a clone of him and even if the feeling obviously isn’t mutual, and he wasn’t going to do that to the guy. He just figured this is something he should make sure Perry is aware of, because it sounds like it could have consequences.

It doesn’t have any dire consequences, but it does make Perry very happy. He’d been really iffy around the guy after the whole “turning him evil” thing, so this means a lot. Heinz had no reason to tell him any of this. He really just admit all these things that he knew could make Perry very uncomfortable just because he thought Perry should know the truth, and that’s not even taking into consideration that he has no idea how OWCA would respond if they knew Heinz had told Perry anything. Of course, Perry already knew about the cloning program (though not about the Danville platypuses; that one is new), so he’s not too phased by it. That helps bring their relationship back closer to the level of trust they used to have.

Perry goes home and explains it all to Coby, Bartholomew, and Dennis. None of them are comfortable with the newfound knowledge that there are, like, 50 Perrys out there, but hey, that’s life, right? Bartholomew kinda stops hating Perry as much now that he knows there wasn’t just one Perry that replaced him, and that’s it’s really been a big cycle that OWCA is prepared to continue if given the opportunity. When Bartholomew stops being as mean to Perry, Perry starts liking him a little more, and it kinda helps mend their relationship too.

And now it’s Last Day of Summer, except after the boys get sucked out of the universe, Perry does, too. He’s too disoriented to really process what’s going on until the boys have already noticed that he’s standing there on all fours, so his cover’s officially blown. Together, they have to figure out how to get back home. The rest of the day pretty much goes as it does in the episode, and in the end, one is okay. Heinz turns good, which means Perry now has to meet him in secret because he’s a robot and not supposed to have friends but that’s okay. He can deal with that.

For some reason or other, Perry accidentally “has babies” because he happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when three platypus eggs appeared. They end up being Horatio, Ornithorhynchus (Ornith), and Anatinus (Ana). Hey, you said all the AUs, and there are two Dad!Perry AUs so thsi is what we got lmao. Horatio is a lot like Perry overall, Ornith is a lot like the Agent P side of Perry, and Ana is a lot like the mindless pet side of Perry. It’s a lot of work trying to balance looking after three baby platypuses, especially because they’re actual platypuses and he’s literally a robot. Fortunately, he does have his friends to help, and Bartholomew kinda likes having these kids. It almost reminds him of Phineas and Ferb back when Bartholomew first met them.

But OWCA tries to get the babies to join no matter how many times Perry tells them to fuck off. One day Perry comes home to find OWCA trying to recruit them behind his back and he’s furious. He throws his hat down and quits because if they’re not going to respect him, he’s not going to respect them. That’s kinda OWCA’s first real glimpse into the fact that Perry has feelings because he’s done a good job at hiding them until then, and they don’t really like it but there’s nothing they can do. When the rest of the agents come home and hear what happened, most of them quit, too, but Coby doesn’t. OWCA is going to want someone to keep an eye on the boys regardless of whether Perry, Bartholomew, and Dennis are up for the task, so he might as well take the L so OWCA doesn’t try to run them out of the house and replace them with a different agent.

Horatio feels really guilty because he thinks this is all the his fault, so he runs away under the impression that Perry will have an easier time dealing with this if there are only two platybabies instead of three. Now Coby has to balance watching the human kids with taking on his cases and making sure Ornith and Ana don’t wander off. Perry, Bartholomew, and Dennis all have to track Horatio down, and they end up finding him at Doofenshmirtz Good Inc. because Heinz saw him on the street and after the clone Perry debacle, he’s a little wary of seeing non-robot baby platypuses on the street by themselves. He’s a little bitter that no one ever told him that Perry had kids, so Perry assures him that he can meet Ornith and Ana soon. He also gets to meet Bartholomew, which blows his mind even more than the platybabies because holy shit it’s the original Perry, so they lowkey become friends too (but not as close as he is with his Perry). Also just for kicks I’m gonna say he befriends a different platypus clone completely unrelated to this and names that Perry “Steven.”

Shit gets real complicated when the kids from the second dimension cross over into the first. Perry immediately informs Perryborg that his cover is still intact and hands him the pamphlet, and Perryborg has to explain it all to the kids. They can’t admit that they know something that the first dimension kids don’t, so they have to pretend they’ve never met before and hit it off like new friends. Meanwhile, Perry has to explain this to his friends, because the only one with any semblance of an idea that this went down is Coby. Perryborg kinda wants to befriend the platybabies, but they’re kinda terrified of him because, you know, he’s a big scary robot that can obliterate sticks. Perryborg’s jealous of Perry because he has this whole big family to himself now, and because he didn’t lose years of his life with them like Perryborg (and Bartholomew) did. It was enough to upset Bartholomew when he came back, and it’s enough to upset Perryborg. Meanwhlie, Perry’s jealous because Perryborg gets to be himself instead of pretending to be a mindless pet, and Perry wishes he could do that, too. In the end, they both decide that they’re probably bette off how they are now, and when the second dimension kids head home, Perry and Perryborg part as friends.

And they all lived happily ever after.

The end.

This is 4400 words and has taken me many, many hours so if anyone actually reads this whole thing I am very sorry but this was my idea of a “quick fix” for yesterday’s depressive episode lmao anyway gtg gonna buy some more discount halloween candy

#pnf #look i have an ask #i usually semi-proofread these but i'm far too lazy to do that so you get what you get and you don't get upset lmao

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iggy-dearest · 5 years ago

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Happy valentines day Vergil

Vergil peeks out from the shelter of his pages for what seemed like the thousandth time that day.

Valentines Day

You two used to celebrate it before your ‘unplanned separation’. However, since he then decided to stay by your side and be the dutiful husband that you deserve. And he’s determined to treat you liek the queen you are. He doesn’t know what to do, every plan he comes up with just seems to have an equally horrible chance of blowing up in his face!

Your poor husband

Should he take you out?

No you don’t like crowded areas that much. What if you have a panic attack while your with him. He doesn’t want you to feel scared!

Should he make a homemade gift?

No, he’s never been good with crafts, that’s more of your forte.

What if he takes you to one of those spa’s you and the other women go to your occasionally?

No, you don’t like certain people touching you and it also seemed like something you did with just the girls, and Dante said. Whatever the hell that means.

Maybe he should make you some dinner?

Although, he really can’t cook, like at all. He remembers when you first started traveling together in your teenage years, he nearly burned down that cheap hotel room. ‘How do you burn water’ was your question. He never got near the stove again, traumatized and deeply embarrassed by the fact that he’d burned water. Although he supposes tea counts? Doesn’t it?

Tea!

He should get you tea. You appreciate it as much as he does. As far as he knows your taste in tea hasn’t changed much. He also noticed that you seem to be running out of your favorite blend and if he remembers correctly it isn’t very easy to come by.

Perhaps he could somehow get Dante to leave you alone for the night? Although he wonders how he should approach the matter with him.

The door opening as abruptly as it did was what snapped him out of his thoughts and what made you jump in your seat. “I’m back!!!” Dante hollered like he was on the worlds biggest sugar high. “Why are you yelling” you asked, although you don’t know if you want to know the answer. You spotted the familiar shaped box in his hands, “did someone get a treat” you teased with a glint in your eye that made your husband weak in the knees. “You bet your ass I did” Vergil saw the smile on your face when you saw Dante sporting his own. A feeling gurgled in his stomach, why did you have to be so close with Dante?

Taking a box into your hand you saw a name written in beautiful penmanship,,, one Dante never could have forged even on his best day. “Who’s Sandy” you asked propping yourself up on the desk. “New girl at Sammy’s” Dante said now sitting in your old seat behind the desk. “Oh~” you know who he’s talking about she looked young apparently has a really big crush on Dante.

“Either of you get any yet?” Dante questioned

“No, not that I know of” you sighed out,stretching your back out, how long have you been sitting in that chair. “I think I’m gonna head home for the day. Okay?” You asked.

You honestly have no idea what your gonna do, you just don’t wanna stay with him anymore. You don’t know if he’s going to try anything with you. Quite frankly if he does it means he’s trying to wine you back, which is confusing for its own reasons and if he doesn’t it means that he doesn’t want you anymore which hurts more then it sounds like. You just don’t know. Maybe you should just go home, listen to some opera to clear your head make some tea to calm you down and maybe watch a movie. A silent film seems fitting and not as pathetic as your love life.

“Ok” Dante agreed, what the hell has his idiot brother been doing this whole time. Honestly, does he not see a perfect opportunity when it happens to be standing a few feet away from him and is walking out the door.

“See you tomorrow” and with that you leave to drown yourself in tea and perhaps some wine.

“What the hell have you been doing for the past 3 hours, Vergil?!?” Dante yells.

Vergil turns his head to the window once he sees you cross the street he gets up himself. Time to get his affairs in order, Dante straightens up as he sees his brother get up from his seat.

Is he going to stab him?

On Valentine’s Day

Nice way of showing your brotherly love, asshole.

The younger twin watches as his brother wordlessly puts his book down on the coffee table and walks out of the establishment. Heading in the opposite direction that you were in.

Where the hell was he going?

~~~

It’s here he knows it’s on this block. You mentioned a new tea shop that had just opened up that carried your favorite blend. He knows because the look on your face was not one he could ever forget. Vergil walked down the street although it seemed more like cantering. His eyes strained a bit from the light reflecting on the shops naked windows. Than back to the small scrap of paper he had jostled down the name of the store.

Infused

Was the name. Simple easy to remember, he likes it.

Walking inside he is greeted to a mix of smells. The strongest being from the fruity blends that you happen to dislike. He doesn’t much like them either.

“Welcome” said a store clerk. The clerk approached him “Hi I’m Joshua, if you need any help, just ask me” he said with a well practiced smile.

When did humans get so..nice?

“I’m looking for a specific blend” Vergil started. “Peppermint lavender” he finished dammit if only he’d taken the nearly empty container. That would definitely help his situation. “We have a few choices, if you’d like I can bring them out and you can see which one it is that you’re looking for” wow, when did humans become so helpful.

Vergil nodded he didn’t usually prolong his time with others, but for you he’d do just about anything. Because you’re worth it, you always have been. He was just a fool and didn’t always see it.

He heads to the counter where the salesman has all the teas laid out for him. He squints his eyes as he trues to remember what your container looked like. It was...white..with purple outlining.

The salesman watches as the man who’s face looked like it was chisled out if marble and looked like he should be at a fantasy fair tried to make up his mind. He hopes he doesn’t choose the one thats mainly white, he’s had his eye on that one for a while and it the last one!

“This one” Vegil decides pointing to the one that’s the most similar to yours. He really hopes that it’s right, it’d be really embarrassing if it wasn’t.

Shit!

He choose the one he had his mind on. Maybe he could just say that it’s been reserved?

No, the salesman saw him before he walked into the store. He actually walked past it a few times too, but he had a look on his face that screamed ‘determination’. The salesman sighs internally, he probably needs it more then he does.

“Excellent choice” he says his rehearsed line and moves to the cashier.

~~~

Vergil hopes he’s not to late. He runs through the street. It’s getting late, he’d stopped to pick up some takeout that you liked courtesy of Dante for the information. He wants to get there before 8 o’clock otherwise he’d come off as wanting sex.

Wouldn’t he?!?!

And then he remembers, he’s got a sword that allows home to teleport. Really Vergil crosses his mind. With two precise swings he is at your apartment building.

However, this might be the hardest part. Going to the door of the woman your head-over-heels for and asking for her to let you into her safe space.

~~~

You sigh that’s enough of the silent films. Maybe you can leech off of your sister-in-law’s disney account. You decide Disney makes everything better. It even makes you feel better then you crazy love life.

You look at your glass, shit! That was your last spot of tea. Oh well, that just means you’ll have to break out the wine. What goes better together then Disney and wine.

You’re about to get up and stretch when in the place of hearing a tired joint popping, you hear a knock. Who the fuck knocks at, you peer at the time on the cable, 7:50pm. It had better not be your annoying neighbor, your not in the mood for his dumbassery. You’d much rather just sock him in the chin or slam the door on his nose, either work for you.

The knocking comes again. “I’m coming” you’ve decided it’s not your neighbor, they wouldn’t have waited so long to place their next knock.

So who the hell is it?

“Vergil” is the only word to make it out of your mouth as you open your door. What is he doing here. He looks a bit out of breath, is he alright?

“Hello”..hello...hello. Who the fuck even says hello anymore. Thats it Vergil’s used up all of his confidence. Why is it that he can face demons with no problem yet he can’t even face his love without freezing up. “Um,” what the hell are you supposed to say. “Is everything alright” you let out, sort of leaning and hiding behind your door. That door is your best defense right now if anything happens or if you just wanna slam it in his face because he talked out of his ass.

“Yes-no-uhm” christ can someone help him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” he mumbles

“What” you ask, he must be nervous if he’s mumbling around you. Though, you’re glad you still have that effect on him.

“Happy Valentine’s Day” he finally manages, his voice filled with a bit more confidence than before.

You watch as he hands you a cylindrical container. It looks familiar to you, “this is..” you’re surprised he noticed “where did you find it” your so surprised, that’s good right? “The tea shop you mentioned” was his only answer “Vergil, I mentioned that weeks ago” your surprised he still remembered, even you didn’t remember it all the time despite being a frequent costumer there. Your glad that he did though-oh is that Chinese food.

“Thank you” sincerity dripped through your voice, and for that it’s worth it for him. You’re worth it, you always will be. “Would you..like to have dinner” now your surprised “I’d love too” you moved aside and let him in. You hope he likes Disney.

~~~

Vergil could not be happier then he is in this moment. You asleep and curled into his side, empty plastic containers strewn put on the coffee table complete with disposable chopsticks. With a Disney movie ‘Alaadin’ you said the name was, illuminating the otherwise dark apartment. He sees you shiver slightly, he takes the throw blanket that is draped over the back of the couch and lays if on you, his neck will hurt in the morning but he really doesn’t care. He’s not moving, no man in the world would. He slowly reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

I love you, he thinks as he starts to drift off.

I love you, you think as you snuggle closer into the source of your warmth, and you have a feeling that it won’t go away anytime soon.

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ofsamwinchester · 4 years ago

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Day of the Dead

SUMMARY: Sam goes to visit Charlie at her manor, but encounters a familiar foe. TRIGGERS: Death, blood, honestly not too bad all things considered. I wrote this when i should be sleeping so maybe my dumbassery should be a trigger WRITTEN WITH: Me, myself, and I. MENTIONS: @ofdeathstouch @ofwaywardsons @zztophat

November 2nd had always been a bad day for Sam. His mother died on this day. Jessica died on this day. The woman he was falling for currently had even died on this day. He was always so worried about what that day might do to those who were close to him. He never thought about what it might do to himself.

The day started out ordinarily enough. It hadn’t been that long since what had happened at the party, so Sam had made it a habit of visiting Charlie frequently to make sure she was okay. On a day like today, he found it especially important to check up on her. After all, it was a hard day for her too on top of it being her birthday. He took the time to buy her flowers, a bouquet of lavender because it reminded him of her, and a new dress to replace the one that had gotten blood all over it. He’d told her that he’d take her dancing at some point to make up for the fact that she didn’t get to have fun at the party like everyone else because of him, and she couldn’t exactly do something like that when her dress had been ruined.

He parked his car and started walking towards the manor. A man was standing at the edge of Charlie’s property, back facing Sam. Sam couldn’t recognize him, but he got a bad feeling. He felt a pull towards the man. “Hey,” said Sam, trying to talk to the man casually, even if Sam could tell the man was a demon, it didn’t mean he was necessarily doing anything wrong. Not all demons were terrible, and Sam was trying to keep himself from consuming demon blood. It’d be better if he didn’t start a fight here. “Can I help you?” he asked instead.

The man chuckled. “You know, I think you can.” He turned around. “Howdy, Sammy.” Sam didn’t recognize the man. He didn’t look like anyone Sam knew, but the way he said that was so familiar. A chill ran up Sam’s spine. “Actually, I think we can help each other.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You see, I’ve been keeping an eye on you, Sammy. I know what you can do, how you’ve been doing it.” Sam kept his expression neutral, if this was one of Lucifer’s demons trying to catch him out on what he’d been doing to acquire demon blood, he wasn’t going to admit to it. “Oh, don’t look like that. It’s good. Healthy. Strong! I think you should keep doing it, actually. Just . . . redirect it.”

“What do you mean?” Sam had no intention of doing whatever this guy wanted him to do, but it was better to know what he was trying to do.

“I mean, think bigger. I heard that you’re not Lucifer’s biggest fan.” That might’ve been true, at least it was before. Sam still didn’t trust Lucifer completely. It was hard to disconnect Lucifer from the one from his own world, but he knew they weren’t the same. This universe’s Lucifer was kinder. He cared more about his family, and as far as he could tell, he preferred for there to be peace here. Despite being the leader of Hell, Lucifer had taken Sam’s orders without questions or complaints. If he took a moment to think about that, he’d realize how crazy that was. Sam didn’t think this Lucifer was really all that bad, even if it would still take time for him to even think about being comfortable around the Devil.

“I’m not killing Lucifer,” Sam said firmly. He was pretty sure he couldn’t do that by himself even if he wanted to. The most he’d really been able to do to the Lucifer of his own universe was trap him, and that in and of itself had put Sam in situations he never wanted to end up in again. Sam wouldn’t do that here, even if he wanted to, which he didn’t.

“Don’t get your wires crossed here. I’m not looking for another soldier. We have our army. We just need someone to lead them. Too many of them are followers, and if we could make Lucifer fight on two fronts, we could-”

“I said I’m not interested,” Sam cut him off. He didn’t care whoever this was or what he wanted with Lucifer, but it wasn’t something Sam wanted a part of. He had enough issues as it was.

“What if I told you I could sweeten the pot?” the demon asked. “Your powers. I could teach you how to use them. Better, make you stronger. Hell, protecting that girl of yours wouldn’t be a problem, and she wouldn’t be the only one. You could be able to save people, Sammy.”

Sam frowned before realization hit him. “Azazel.” It only made sense, the familiarity, the way he was trying to recruit Sam. Azazel blinked, and his eyes turned yellow. “You’re still trying to play me.” Sam scoffed. Of course. Even now, even now, his life was getting jerked around by someone else. “What happened with Jo, that was your fault, wasn’t it?” Sam didn’t doubt that Jo could’ve found out how to trap a reaper on her own, but he didn’t think that would be her first solution to her problem. That was Azazel’s doing. “Why? Another one of your tests?” Sam practically spat at the demon. He was tired of this.

“What can I say?” Azazel shrugged. “I’m full of great ideas.”

“Not this time.” Sam smirked, reaching for his demon blade that he generally kept on him. He frowned when he didn’t feel it there. He patted down other areas and still found no demon blade. The only other weapon he had on him . . . was himself.

“You look like you lost something there, Sammy.” Azazel smirked. “Here, let me help you.” He pulled out his own knife, cutting open his arm. “This is what I gave you when you were a baby. Of course, they dashed those plans out from under me. I could’ve made a bunch of you, if Lucifer had just listened to me, I could’ve been his right hand man. He’ll learn from his mistakes eventually when Aamon takes over. You don’t want to miss out on this ride, trust me.”

Sam shook his head. “No.” He wouldn’t take anymore demon blood like this. He was trying to stop, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. The hallucinations he had did their best to convince him to drink the blood. It would make him stronger. It would get him through this. What were a few drops when it came to defeating his mother’s murderer? Jessica’s murderer? “Go to Hell.”

“Hmm, been there. Done that.” Azazel shrugged. He still seemed to think he could convince Sam somehow.

Sam could hear a car pulling up nearby, but it didn’t distract him as he held his hand out towards Azazel. Azazel laughed at first, thinking Sam couldn’t do anything against him, but then he started to choke as Sam’s fingers slowly tightened. He looked more concerned for a second, but then he laughed more. “You don’t have the juice, kid.”

“I don’t care.” He kept trying, using every ounce of power within himself to bring Azazel down. Blood started to drip from Sam’s nose as he overexerted himself. Azazel was right. He was running on fumes, but it didn’t matter. Sam would kill himself to do this. His ears were ringing as he pulled Azazel out of his vessel. Smoke billowed up high, but Sam kept going. His vision was blurring. His head was spinning, but all that mattered to him now was ending Azazel. The smoke pooled together on the ground and burned into it. There was nothing left of Azazel.

There wasn’t much left of Sam either. He turned a little to see Dean and Zatanna coming up to him. Oh. He’d done this in front of them then. He’d meant to tell Dean on his own terms but it was apparently too late for that. He’d disappointed his brother again. Dean got to see the monster underneath it all yet again. He opened his mouth to apologize, to explain, something. Instead, he choked on blood, and collapsed. Everything went black.

November 2nd could add another to its list of dead.

#sp #self para #day of the dead #November 2nd #i did it before the day ended #so thats nice #if i spent more time on it #itd be better #but im so so so tired

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coffeeismylifejuice · 5 years ago

Note

hi bb!! IM SORRY I SAW UR DOING MATCHUPS- i’m a pretty short, straight girl with a bit pale, freckles and dark brown wavy hair. i’m a very extroverted person LMAOO i love going out with friends (i cant now doe 😔) and i’m VERY affectionate, i love hugging people and when i talk to anyone (boy girl idc) i have to touch their hands or shoulder or smth BAHAHHA i’m pretty smart in school, but outside i’m super dumb, extreMELY DUMB. when i’m in class i’m pretty quiet since i’m vice president so i 1)

GHSHWKASHBCSJ OH MY GOD ZARA— HIII 🥺💞💞 THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING✨✨

Okay I know that Teru has your heart but listen-

L i s t e n —

I would match you with...

✨Minamoto Kou✨

Your energy matches his in so many ways it’s amazing-

We saw that Kou isn’t afraid to speak his mind (declaring more like yelling that he’ll exorcize Hanako in front of other students and shit), and that he’s pretty much immune to shame (What ? Me ? Going in the girls’ bathroom ? What about it ?)

Big dumbass energy right there too-

And what’s better than one dumbass ? Two dumbasses :D

DON’T GET OFFENDED BY THIS BUT REALLY—

You two would get involved in the stupidest shit together, Nene would have to refrain you from getting in trouble-

You’d probably talk about random stuff nonstop, so random that only the two of you would understand what you’re actually saying-

He admires how you manage to befriend almost everyone on your way, and often join you when you go out with friends !

He also asks you to stay with him with the Toilet-bound squad after school so he can show you his exorcist skills-

If you praise him he’ll get all flustered but have the biggest smile on his face :D

He’s very protective of you, so if someone is being a lil’ shit with you, he’ll step in. Although when he saw you snap at some kid for being disrespectful to one of your friends, he was shookeh, and very proud of you ??

He toned it down with the protectiveness since he knows you can step up for yourself (he’s still ready to throw hands with anyone for you tho,,)

If someone hurt you with something they said and he see you cry, he’ll be all over you

“Are you okay ?? Are you hurt ?? Oh my god is it something I did—“

Once you explain it to him, he’ll just calm down and try to comfort you

Mainly by making you laugh at something stupid he did, and cooking you treats🥺

And he WILL find who hurt u,,

He’s impressed by how your personality takes a 180 when you’re in class; how you manage to hide your dumbassery (yes dumbassery) from the teachers is beyOND him-

He also asks you for help with his studies, since you have pretty good grades

It may or may not be an excuse to spend more time with you

And for the affection ? Ghjgdsk-

Babeh appreciate it so so much, he lives for your touch🥺

He always gets a bit flustered whenever you hug him, but he gladly returns it !

Just feeling your touch is comforting to him :)

GIVE HIM CUDDLES I’M ACTUALLY BEGGING YOU—

When it comes to his family, Tiara absolutely loves you, and even calls you onee-chan🥺

Teru would be a bit overwhelmed the first time he saw you two interacting together (especially if you were in the middle of your stoopid but adorable antics-), but overall thinks that Kou couldn’t have found someone that fit him better than you do

He will cook you anything you want, bc pouring his heart in what he’s cooking you is another way for him to show you how much he loves you🥺

If you join him, expect a mess in the kitchen at some point; when you’re together you just can’t stray too far from the dumbassery before it comes back running-

You always have a lot of fun when you cook together ! And he absolutely loves your cooking💞💞

Lots and lots of love in the form of food on his part, and cuddles and hugs when you initiate them (he would but he’s too nervous ghvsjd-)🥺💞

A/n: For real tho that’d be a very wholesome relationship🥺

I love doing matchup like these, cuz I can let my own dumb side show-

And they’re easier to do than requests ! Which is why I’ll probably do them when I’m stuck on a request and need a break-

Otherwise, I do my request in the order that I received them !

(Which is why your Teru request isn’t written yet- I’M SORRY I’M SLOW—)

I hope you’ll like it !✨

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husbandograveyard · 5 years ago

Note

Hewwo Hazel uwu 🔫😀👾😭😜😳⏰😏🎆💓?

Hewwo Bas! The UwU is strong today o(>ω<)o Thank you for your questions!

🔫 - Fave canon arc?

Thriller Bark. It made me laugh SO HARD. One piece is one of the few anime that genuinely makes me laugh out loud, usually im more of a “hmpft” blowing air out of my nose laught kinda gal, but one piece gave me a lot of joy and laughter, and mostly during thriller bark. Besides that, the fights and the general plot thickening and things coming together, and Zoro’s sacrifice all made this one of my top favorite archs! The pacing was very good as well, compared to, for example, Dressrosa.

😀 - Most favorite Straw Hat?

aaaaaa don’t make me choose This is very hard! The initial thought was Zoro because well it’s Zoro and most of his lines never fail to make me laugh. Robin is the one I admire most cause it’s the kind of lady idk if I wanna be her or be with her yknow? And Chopper also popped up because well.. he’s the absolute most adorable bean and I love him and his cuteness.

I’m gonna conclude a tie between Zoro and Robin, and Chopper can be on their shoulders being adorable? (´･ᴗ･ ` )

👾 - Fave villain?

Perona as far as she was an actual villain, her negative spooks are the best attack ever and no one can tell me otherwise.

In terms of bigger antagonists, probably the Charlotte family? I’m counting them as one, just for now, since they are all super interesting and I like seeing them on screen more than ceasar or moria or doffy and 100000x more than friggin Blackbeard (Imagine me using the ‘dinkleberg voice’ whenever I say blackbeard). Doffy is a good villain. But he makes me too mad so he only gets a flaminglemention and not the top spot ha.

😭 - Saddest scene?

Just like one piece is the series that made me laugh he most, it’s also the one that made me cry the most. Almost embarrassingly much. I ugly sobbed for a few hours straight around Ace’s death. I was spoiled, I knew it was gonna happen, but I did not know how exactly, so ehm from impel down on, every scene they showed him I teared up at least. (oops). BUT there was one other scene that made me cry a lot that I have to mention because I did not expect to cry for that moment. I knew about the time skip, I knew about the training, I knew they were gonna take some time off to get stronger. BUT I did not know how and when and the circumstances. The moment Kuma separated them, the agony and the helplessness. My heart. I could not take it. That was too sad.

Honorable mentions for the Bellemere scene very early on and saying goodbye to merry. Just too many heartbreaking moments but I feel that’s what makes the series so nice, you need to get hurt sometimes in order to get more attached to characters.

😜 - Funniest character?

Ehm. In terms of delivering hilarious one-liners and making me laugh while not actually being funny on purpose: Zoro. The dumb is too much and is hilarious. He says funny things while not being funny and there’s just too many peak comedy moments in him getting lost or ‘wanting to get made into a wax statue in this pose”.

Luffy gets a mention in situational humor too because that dumbassery is hilarious as well.

Other than that. Probably a tie between Usopp and Franky. It’s just so stupid, but the sheer simpleness of most of the humor makes it so easy to digest and look at!

😳 - Any crushes?

Any? Many! ehm, to not make this answer a couple thousand words long, quickfire! Ace, he has the charisma, the feralness, the politeness and the freckles. Shanks, he’s just the sweetest, sexiest mystery man who knows what his priorities are. Sabo, all the feralness, less of the politeness, all of the cuteness. His smile can revive puppies. Zoro: the Dumbassery, the muscles, the brutal honesty and that soff soff mossy hair. Kid: again, the dumbassery, the rudeness while still caring for his bunch of misfits. I love me a good tulip. Robin: The beauty, the grace, the humor, the fashion, the intellect. Again, dk if i want to be her or be with her. Vivi: The courage, the love, the sweetness amongst the badassery, step on me princess. Honorable mentions for Killer, A bunch of people showing up in Wano that I’ve only seen spoilers pop up for. And writing some character has had me reconsidering all the crushes all together. In conclusion: WHY IS EVERYONE IN ONE PIECE SO ATTRACTIVE??? safe for you Blackbeard honey, you could fall off a cliff and I’d applaud.

⏰ - How long have you been into One Piece?

Not that long at all. When I was 14? ish I started my anime journey. I watched 15-20? episodes of One Piece and hated it. Around that time one piece was somewhere in between 500-600 eps and I could not imagine ever catching up to that, especially since my strict parents limited my computer use to 3h a week.

Then a friend really got into it I think about 5? years ago and kept talking about it and how it was actually good. I was starting to do an effort to watch all the ‘big’ and ‘must-see’ anime and promised myself I’d watch One Piece, eventually.

Then this year at the end of October 2019 I actually started watching it. I had grown up a lot, and could now appreciate the anime way more for what it was? I fell in love and binged the entire thing in more or less six months with some small breaks in between for work, school, books, and other anime. Highly considering re-downloading so I can rewatch my favorite parts soon. My biggest problem is that once I love something, I go ALL IN and I will love everything about it and obsess. And thus this Tumblr was created as the hiatus started and I wanted something One Piece to keep me distracted. I eventually want to collect the manga but I now don’t have the space for it in my tiny room.

😏 - Favorite scene?

Sabo and Luffy reuniting! The reveal, the tears, the hug, and the ridiculousness of Luffy with the beard and all, just made it perfect. Absolutely loved it.

OH and Luffy punching the celestial dragon. The absolute energy in that scene made me grin like an idiot yet gave me goosebumps. Punch those slave-owning bitches luffy, thank you!

🎆 - Something you can’t wait for??!!

ALL of what is to come in Wano. I’ve been catching spoilers here and there and i just cannot wait! There’s gonna be so much reveals and new characters and comebacks and all the things I did not know I need in my life.

And I would like some more reveals on Shanks and his crew since we literally know next to nothing about them, besides the fact that even the admirals seemed to be at least wary of their powers and I just really need to know. (or not, since mystery adds to the charm).

I can’t wait for the abolishment of the government and the death/defeat of blackbeard (assuming that will happen at some point, a girl can dream).

💓 - Which character do you relate to the most?

SO HARD. Hardest question. Ehm... Ace and Usopp I think? I struggle with family a lot, but I have a chosen family that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I am hella insecure, but I try my best most of the time and I am extremely loyal, even though I have no particular talents, I try and help here and there and hopefully can make some people happy that way!

If you read all the way through here, thank you for coming to my Ted talk! It was so long („• ֊ •„) but it was also so much fun (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

#one piece #one piece ask #ask me anything #get to know hazel #proof that i talk to much #hazel actually rambles a lot #put me in front of a crowd with only a note one piece on it and ill talk for hours #even if the audience doesnt want to hear it #CAN I INTRODUCE YOU TO OUR LORD AND SAVIOR MR MONKEY D LUFF YALL?#Here is law he has no ass but all the regret #anyhow rambling even in these tags that no one reads oop #basilisa-scorpii

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space-------kid · 5 years ago

Text

can’t keep my hands (off you).

Anime/Manga: One Punch Man Pairing: Garou/fem!Reader Additional pairing/characters: platonic Metal Bat/fem!Reader, Zenko, mentions of other heroes such as Saitama, Watchdog Man, etc. Genre: Romance, comedy Warning: Absolute silliness. Language – Garou and reader both ate rainbows for breakfast. Dumbassery. Teeth-rotting fluff, maybe? Reader is hella strong like Saitama. Half-assed spice because you’re good at cockblocking Garou despite being low-key thirsty for him. And LOTS of dumbassery from the reader, most probably. Additional tag: Dream-based fic, canon-divergent, Garou is horny af A/N: This is supposed to be a lengthy one-shot, but I’m a dumbass who can’t keep my word so the supposedly one-shot isn’t a one shot anymore. Now I have to worry how I should properly divide all those parts (I mean, they’re already divided, but–) 😅

A wild Garou finally appears!

Summary:

Your life had its general ups and downs, pros and cons, the good and the bad.

You were admittedly a coward and afraid of being targeted by people for it. Following the advice of your (best) friend you trained hard, like, FUCKING hard, and now you’re blessedly, utterly strong you can take down enemies with just one hit. A good thing, really. Can’t let any bad guy harass you or something.

But-

You were probably cursed with the biggest, baddest of luck. Not only were monsters chasing you, suddenly there was this fucking hot bastard weirdo who kept on calling himself the Hero Hunter. “I’m not a hero, goddamn it!”

i. and ii | [more to be added]

“i can’t keep my

hands

off…!”

- can’t keep my hands off you/simple plan

iii.

Alright, forget that you asked. You would always be Bad Luck, Dumbass Chicken [Name] to the universe, anyway.

You blinked back awake to the cheering of children, one of your fists thrown up for a punch and your entire front covered by green goo you easily identified as monster blood. Ew.

Looking down, your gaze zeroed in on the still twitching appendages of the huge insect monster your punch had nearly blown to smithereens. Its head looked totally crushed, and you had quickly figured out that its legs were still moving because of what was left of the electric impulses in its nerv-

You nearly emptied your stomach at the imaginary sensation of a hundred insect legs crawling up your skin.

Too creepy. I’m so fucking scared, for fuck’s sake.

“You saved us, big sis!”

“You’re so strong!”

“Are you a hero?”

“She must be, stupid! Didn’t you see how she beat that monster? Like, she just punched it and the monster’s head went ka-pow!”

Still grossed out by phantom insect legs crawling all over your body, you shakily turned to face the kids – five boys – and frantically shook your head.

“No, I’m not a hero-“ you tried to correct them but they seemed to have elected to ignore your denial and cheered again anyway.

Huh. Kids and their selective hearing.

“You must be new, huh, big sis?” one of the boys, a chubby black-haired one wearing glasses, asked you with stars in his eyes. Another one, sporting a bald head and a monobrow nodded in agreement.

“Maybe that’s why she ain’t in the Hero Guide Booklet yet!” exclaimed Monobrow.

Smile faltering, you waved your hands anxiously at the boys.

“I’m telling you, I’m really not-“

“Oi, leave the little lady alone, brats,” came a deep voice behind you. The boys took one look at whoever it was and scampered off to who knew where, and you could only hope that they would all be heading back to their own homes because it’s late in the afternoon already.

Relief washed through you as they finally disappeared from your sight. With a grateful smile you turned around to thank your savior, only to be met by a huge fist barreling straight at your face.

Your quick (and newly improved!) reaction time saved your face from being bashed in, your conscious mind battling your fight instinct because your attacker was a man. A very tall, muscular, and – oh, snap – handsome man, with sharp features, golden eyes, and spiky silver hair. The smirk he gave you was criminal, and you could feel your heartbeat quickening at being blessed given that seemingly satisfied look.

“Heh, nice reflexes,” said the weird guy, cracking his knuckles then getting into a fighting stance. You could tell from the way he dressed – fuck, that’s a really tight top – and how he carried himself that he was a martial arts expert.

Lucky for him, you weren’t.

“Yo, what the hell was that for?” you nervously asked him, backing away slowly. “You could’ve broken my nose with that punch!”

Weird Guy’s smirk widened. It gave you the heebie jeebies.

And it wasn’t helping that your fight instinct was screaming at you, telling you that you would get more than a broken nose if you refused to retaliate. If he was a monster, you would gladly let your fight instinct take over, but look how lucky you were! If your fight instinct took over, he would be the very first man you’d kill!

Deathly scared at the prospect of having red liquid splatter over the green goo sticking to your front, you closed your eyes and covered your ears.

“I’m too young to go to jail, holy shit! I don’t wanna kill anyone!” you yelled hysterically.

You could feel Weird Guy shooting you a confused look. You peeked an eye open and blanched when his expression turned into murderous glee.

“You’re not the one doing the killing here, little lady,” he said smugly, barking out a wolfish laugh when you winced. “Prepare to be hunted!”

And with that, he shot forward.

You had to bend backwards just to avoid a sweeping kick he delivered to your neck, your back and knees protesting at the sudden action. You dropped on the ground and rolled over just in time to evade his stomping foot. Eyes wide at the fissures his stomp generated, you quickly got up and tried your best to dodge the onslaught of punches he delivered at you.

Don’t fight, don’t fight, don’t fight, please! You repeatedly told yourself. He’s not a monster, oh god, you don’t want to kill a person, don’t you?

“Oh, my god, please stop!” you shrieked at him, downright horrified as your grip on your awareness slowly slipped from your grasp. “Can’t you see that I don’t want to fight?!”

Weird Guy stopped his assault to give you a perplexed look.

“Why?” he asked. “Isn’t that your duty as a hero? I’m a monster, you know, and you should stop me!”

“What?! I’m not a- I-I’m not a hero!” you denied, shaking your head for emphasis.

“Oh, no, no, you definitely are,” Weird Guy enthused, looking manic. “I saw how you saved those kids. A normal citizen would run away, but you didn’t. You faced that monster and took it out with one hit. Fucking reminds me of that fucking Justice Man.”

What the actual fuck? So, he thought you were a hero, too?

“No, no! I’m telling you, I’m not-“

Before you could finish your sentence, Weird Guy had already jumped at you and struck an open palm sideways to your chest, long fingers grazing your left breast.

You blanched out of fear at feeling the pain from the hit, then blushed when you only felt the warmth of his fingers seep through your clothes and when you realized that you had forgotten to wear a bra before going out. Your grip on your awareness slipped, one of your last thoughts circling on how this guy also seemed to be a pervert, grabbing (you knew he didn’t but it was the same in your book) at you like that.

Weird Guy grinned wildly when his attack hit, and yelled out rather proudly, “Remember this face, hero, and spread the word if you survive! Garou the Hero Hunter will-“

You tuned him out, static filling your ears-

F̢̨̛̰̻̦̠̭͖̺̾̓͛̓̅Ĭ̴̺̙͇̙̥̱̯̦̰̫͒͋̇̒͑͘G̴̩͔̩̜̥̙̖͛͛̈́͗̒̀́͜͝H͇̜͔̜̦̥͉͓̹̹̽̓̀̃̾̎̄T̸̨̢̞̻̤̥̫̻̪̍̓̐͛́͑̾͜

In your last effort to keep the guy safe from your fight instinct, you kept your hands slack, fists curled loosely as you lifted one to hit him in retaliation just as your mind went blank.

It was over the moment your fist – curled loosely, what for? – hit him straight on the jaw.

Garou fought hard to remain conscious even for a few seconds as he committed your face and the form of your body into memory, already listing off ways to counter an unexpected move like he always did when facing an enemy that would prove to be a challenge even for a genius like him.

Small stature hidden by baggy clothing, but he could still register the messy yet effective movements that enabled you to dodge his attacks. Quite flexible, too, seeing how you bent your body backwards to avoid a kick. You may be smaller than him, but boy did your punch – half-assed as it were – pack quite the heat.

And your face…

Garou had to be honest, you looked quite cute. [Color] eyes wide with distress, lips trembling as you lied about not being a hero and begging for him to stop his attacks. He wondered how long he would get to see such an adorable look on your face until you blacked out after that palm thrust landed squarely on your chest.

Too bad you didn’t get to see the satisfied smirk on his face when your eyes finally dulled, your expression coming up blank.

He was too caught up with his premature victory that he utterly failed to sense nor notice one of your fists going up to hit straight at his jaw.

Garou blinked, feeling his body float in slow motion and eventually crashing back down on earth, dark spots dancing on his vision.

What the fuck?

Were you just baiting him by acting like a goddamn coward?

Golden gaze found your prone form before he passed out, his last thoughts before fully blacking out revolving on a rematch should he find you again.

Who was he kidding? He would find you again, and that time he would not fall for your tricks again. You would be the one losing consciousness, he’d make sure of that.

Well, if you wouldn’t turn him in to the Hero Association. You were a hero, after all.

Weren’t you?

---

iv.

After he had been defeated by a surprisingly strong hero (you sneezed loudly wherever the hell you were), Garou was left wondering why he had woken in the park and not in a prison cell.

Why would a hero like yourself just leave him unattended like that? Did you not recognize him, or haven’t you heard of him yet?

Well, whatever. It was not as if Garou was glad about the circumstance he found himself in. If you didn’t know who he was prior to him attacking you, then there was practically no more explanations as to why he was still out here in the city and not confined within a four-walled cage.

Garou, however, couldn’t deny the fact that you not knowing who he was vexed him. He had defeated Tank Top Master, an S-Class. Did the Hero Association still not take him seriously?

The self-proclaimed Hero Hunter clicked his tongue in disappointment. Guess he had to kill beat more heroes up if that would get the stupid Association to give him the attention he so deserved.

Garou stopped on his tracks, eyes wide as he looked over his shoulder in surprise. He felt the ground shake before the sound of an explosion reached his ears. Soon enough, he could see black smoke through the canopy trailing up somewhere in the midst of K-City Nature Park.

A monster? Then that meant-

A feral grin appeared on his face. Just what he needed!

A shadow passed overhead as he ran towards the explosion’s general direction. Something wet landed a few feet behind him, the tell-tale sickening ‘splat!’ reaching his ears followed by a very familiar voice whose owner he had lost to.

“-keep telling them I’m not a hero, for heaven’s sake! I just wanna go home, Badd! Come pick me up, please! Yeah, I’m scared outta my wits here!”

Grin turning into a murderous smile, Garou could feel violence coursing through his veins. He never thought that he would get a rematch this early, but he’d be an idiot to let this chance slip by. Not when he already had a counter against your moves he could easily predict now that he had seen through your bluff about not being a hero.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Miss I’m-Not-a-Hero,” he said in lieu of a greeting once you emerged from within the forest.

And it was pretty convenient that K-City Nature Park is currently devoid of people except the two of you. Must be because of the monster that just attacked.

“Ah, thank god you’re alive- hey, what the hell?!” you exclaimed, expression quickly shifting from relieved to horrified. “What are you doing here? Are you… are you stalking me?”

The way genuine fear filled your face thrilled Garou to the bone. Heh, maybe you realized that baiting him like you did the first time wouldn’t work anymore. Also, you looked pretty cute in that blouse and skirt you were wearing despite the green blood staining your hands-

Hey, now, where the fuck did that come from?

Someone yelled on the other end of your phone call. Garou watched as you frantically yelled back at whoever you were talking to, telling them that you were being stalked. He nearly scoffed at your claim, and rolled his eyes when your screaming match with whoever you were talking to reached a fever pitch.

“What? You’re in A-City? B-But that would take forever! This weird bastard could’ve done a lot of lewd things to me before you get here!”

That made Garou raise an eyebrow at you in incredulity. First, you accuse him of being a stalker. Now you’re mistaking him for some perverted creep? Was this your ploy to get backup as quickly as you could?

He moved towards you in the blink of an eye, taking your phone and crushing it in his hand. You squeaked in terror, looking up at him as you stood frozen on the spot.

“You can drop the act now, little lady,” he told you menacingly. “You ain’t gonna fool me anymore. You’re just another hero I need to take down. No hard feelings”

Garou grabbed you by the collar, manic glee on his face at the thought of getting payback at you for beating him with just one hit.

You, on the other hand, cowered under his gaze. Eyes turning dull, your body went slack and you plopped forward against him.

It was Garou’s turn to freeze. Did you just pass out on him?

He tried to shake you awake but you were so out of it. “Hey, lady, what-“

You lifted your head, almost mechanically, to look up at him. The last thing Garou saw before one of your hands landed a powerful chop between the junction of his neck and shoulder was the same blank expression you gave him before he blacked out like the last time.

Huh.

Seemed like all of that mental preparation and movement prediction he made practically meant nothing against an enemy as unpredictable as you.

You were totally freaking out.

After lugging home the same weird bastard from a few days ago who scared you to death today (holy shit, did you really just take your stalker home?), you decided to call Badd for help. Then you remembered that Weird Guy broke your phone before you could tell your best friend where you were.

Great. Terrific. Wow.

Granted, you had every right to leave the weirdo currently sprawled on your futon alone like you did the first time. But you were so scared that you might have actually killed him this time (the bruise on his shoulder looked ugly) since you gave in to your fight instinct without sparing a thought on who you’re faced with.

Or maybe you did since the handsome bastard still drew breath when you checked on him once your mind resurfaced back to awareness.

Maybe you’d planned to bury him in the middle of K-City Nature Park if he proved to be dead. Lucky for you, you wouldn’t live a life riddled with guilt at murdering your fellow human by accident.

Currently, you were sitting on the floor of your bedroom and waiting for Weird Guy to wake up. You anxiously picked on the fabric of your short shorts while you kept an eye on him, watching his broad chest rise and fall with every breath he took.

You had taken quite a while ogling studying his features. He’s really easy on the eyes, you had to admit. And his muscles (“Oh, fuck, he’s hot-“) weren’t all for show, too. No one would ever know that you had (accidentally) copped a feel of those arms and chest when you hefted him up on your shoulders on the way home. You were eternally grateful for the physical strength your training had given you.

And his back… god, even his back muscles have muscles, for fuck’s sake!

You wouldn’t openly admit, but this guy was the second dude you’d describe as a freaking babe magnet.

(Badd didn’t need to know that he’s the first one. You didn’t need to give him something to relentlessly tease you with.)

Personality wise, you decided to lay off Weird Guy’s I-will-beat-the-crap-out-of-you behavior. You even excluded that weird stalking of his (you’d find out soon that he wasn’t), letting your fight instinct take over if he ever decided to go yandere on you. You wondered what he was normally like. Hopefully someone who wasn’t batshit crazy or something.

You stretched and yawned, letting your arms flop on the space of your futon he wasn’t occupying as you sprawled on the floor on your belly. You folded your arms and let your chin rest on them, [color] eyes admiring his side profile.

Oh, boy. You knew she wasn’t interested about it at her age, but you couldn’t wait to tell Zenko how you met this really, really good-looking guy.

Getting tired of waiting, you stood up and turned to your work table, grabbing a pen and piece of paper to pass the time.

You were fond of taking odd jobs here and there after you had graduated, still unsure of what you really wanted to do with your life despite the fact that you would be eighteen this year. Currently, you were working on a few art commissions to earn money aside from being a service crew at one of the branches of a certain fast-food chain in K-City.

You bent slightly to reach for the unruly pen that rolled away from your reach.

“Woke up somewhere I don’t know and the first thing I see is a pair of thighs. Huh.”

You stopped what you were doing and turned to face the weird guy, now wide awake and looking at you. Heat crept up your cheeks as you tugged on your short shorts, face undoubtedly red from embarrassment.

“They’re nice, by the way.”

At least he didn’t say ass.

You cleared your throat and backed off, fighting the urge to call him a pervert and maybe hit him for good measure. There was something you need to settle first, in case he started attacking you again out of the blue.

“Before you do anything, like, um, attack me,” you began, eyes glued on the wooden floor of your room, “let me clear one thing first.”

Weird Guy raised a brow at you, staying quiet. You took it as a cue to continue.

“Look, mister. I don’t know who the heck you are and what your game is, but I am NOT a hero. No. Nuh-uh. I am in no way affiliated with the Hero Association, and would never want to be. I’m not a hero, goddamn it! So, can you please, please, stop jumping at me and attacking me? I don’t want to go to jail for killing someone! I’m not even legally allowed to drink yet!”

“Tch. Didn’t even thank me for complimenting her assets,” he muttered, looking annoyed as he sat up and gingerly rubbed the place on his shoulder where you struck him.

You were completely caught off guard by his remark. Did he even listen to what you just said?

“H-Hey-“

“And don’t call me ‘mister’, little lady. I’m not that old,” he added, looking disgruntled. When he noticed you gaping at him, he rolled his eyes at you. “Yeah, yeah, fine. I get it. You keep saying you’re not a hero, but why did you save the kids from that monster back then? If you weren’t a hero like you keep on insisting, then why do their job?”

You wrung your hands and squirmed under his intense gaze.

“I-I’m kinda strong…? And isn’t that what decent, strong people do regardless of their title or status? I mean, isn’t it enough to be a decent human being to help?” you replied innocently, your eyes finding the hand clutching his injury to be particularly interesting – man, those fingers sure were long. You added rather self-consciously, mumbling under your breath, “…and it’s like I get a choice on the matter. My fight instinct does majority of the job for me…”

Unbeknownst to you, Weird Guy was now openly staring at you with mounting interest.

“You’re really not a hero, huh.”

You swallowed a lump in your throat before meeting his gaze and nodding in earnest.

“I’m really not!” you insisted. “I-I’m [Name], by the way.”

Weird Guy clicked his tongue and plopped back on your futon. “Who knew a civilian could knock me out with just one hit. Name’s Garou.”

“I’m sorry for hitting you twice, Garou. I just got really scared when you attacked me, and, uh…”

Awkwardly you stayed where you stood. It was not until Garou’s stomach growled that you were spurred into action.

“Um, I have food downstairs if you’re hungry…”

Golden eyes looked at you with mischievous glee. “Food’s good right now. Mind if I take a bite at those pretty thighs, too?”

Face red and steam practically hissing out of your ears, you slapped Garou so hard into unconsciousness without having to rely on your fight instinct.

---

to be continued

#garou x reader #platonic metal bat x reader #garou #garou the hero hunter #garou the human monster #metal bat #badd #opm x reader #one punch man #one punch man season 2

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bnha-hq · 5 years ago

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Quite like the other

I’m reposting this again because my dumbass didn’t realise I changed to 1st person halfway through (it was for like a paragraph but I deleted it before I noticed so like,,,double dumbassery)

Kageyama wasn’t the most romantic person, he found hugging to be more intimate than most (it was one of the few activities where a person deliberately pressed their bodies to someone else’s after all) so hugging was reserved for intimate moments, he didn’t like big, flashy dates nor did he see the appeal in leaving the house for one, it’s not like they couldn’t eat and watch a movie from the comfort of their own homes right?

Anything involving presents? Forget about it. Compliments? Hopeless. Grand gestures of love? Clueless.

So how he ended up dating Oikawa Tooru is still a mystery to him. Oikawa would give gifts simply because he saw something that reminded him of the younger setter, a compliment always on the tip of his tongue (when he wasn’t teasing him) and his arms always wrapped around him, no matter the circumstance.

Oikawa had asked for flowers and he’d gotten him a pot plant, his presents were usually volleyball related (he had given him no less than 14 volleyball keychains) and cooking was always a disaster so date nights always consisted of burnt food followed by take out.

None of that screamed “Romance!” to Kageyama but his boyfriend would just chuckle, kiss his forehead and thank him for all his attempts. The next week he’d have a box of chocolates with a cheesy note waiting on the kitchen bench for him and take out in the oven, his favourite like always.

Many days Oikawa would come back from work and monologue about his day, be it good or bad, and many days Kageyama sat there and listened. He didn’t offer any input, he’d nod to show the other he was listening but that was about it, he didn’t trust himself to find the right words, or to say them in the correct place or tone. He didn’t know so he said nothing.

Oikawa always knew what to say, whether it helped him relax or simplify a problem he always knew, every single time and it frustrated Kageyama to know that he wasn’t able to do that in return. He knew it was like talking to a brick wall but there wasn’t anything he seemed to be able to do about it, he tried but he ended up overthinking what he was saying and missing his chance entirely, eventually Oikawa would pick an activity to distract them yet he never could, Kageyama didn’t know what activities were best, what games to play or what movies to watch so he just let him decide.

How someone as socially awkward and completely lacking any romantic bone landed someone like Oikawa he would never know.

Oikawa, as much as he tried, always struggled with how genuine he appeared. It wasn’t that he wasn’t genuine he just overthought too much and went for the safe option which always appeared disingenuous. He’d buy the biggest bouquet of flowers, buy whatever item seemed like a decent present and gave many compliments which, no matter his intentions, always felt shallow to him.

Kageyama on the other hand, however awkward, was always completely, undoubtedly genuine.

Oikawa once jokingly asked for flowers and he got him a pot plant, when he asked why a pot plant instead of a bouquet Kageyama explained that he didn’t like how bouquets died.

“If I’m buying you a flower to show I love you I don’t think its right to buy one that’ll die within a weak, that just seems kind of sad to me…”

That made sense to Oikawa, and got him thinking of the countless flowers and bouquets he’d bought over his life whenever he watered the plant, watched it bloom or watched the petals die and fall, preparing itself for a cold winter before blooming again in spring.

It was such a beautiful, thoughtful gift and all Oikawa could do in return was safe. He got chocolates and take out he knew the other loved. It was safe, like usual, and that was his problem.

Even his words felt disingenuous. Whenever Kageyama would come home and talk to him about his day he always had to say something. Every. Single. Time.

He wished he could do what Kageyama did, just sit quietly and listen, to be someone Kageyama could just unload on and cuddle later but he just couldn’t. He always said something and no matter how much thought he put into the words they always felt flat and well, disingenuous, to him. Like telling a crying child ‘there there, it’s alright’.

After his rants they’d watch a movie or play a game as a way to get their minds off of the day which felt off, Kageyama never seemed to complain and it always seemed to work but he couldn’t shake the feeling he was just shoving his boyfriends feelings aside and opting for the safe ‘out of sight, out of mind’ option.

Kageyama found Oikawa to be a natural. The ability to read the people around him that had once proven to be so useful on the court was now just as useful in their relationship, he just seemed to know and no matter how hard Kageyama tried he just couldn’t keep up. He’d never master the silver tongue the way Oikawa had, the ability to just know what the other wanted, what they needed and how to do it, no matter how hard he tried. He’d never be able to show his love quite like Oikawa did.

Oikawa found Kageyama to be a natural. The precision that once proved so vital on the court was now so vital in their relationship. Was he a sweet talker or able to shower him with gifts? No. But everything he did was 100% genuine every single time. He tried and the decisions he made were very unique to the people around him. Every compliment he gave Oikawa, every gift, every moment of his time was special since every decision he made was thought out and executed so very carefully, if Oikawa didn’t know Kageyama better he’d almost think it was second nature. One thing was certain, no matter how hard he tried, he’d never be able to show his love quite like Kageyama did.

#oikage #oikage fic #haikyuu #hq #okiawa #kageyama #kageyama tobio #oikawa tooru #hq oikawa #haikyuu okiawa #haikyuu kageyama

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itsthatsillygoose · 5 years ago

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Kit, a raggedy ass analysis

I wrote an analysis of forthbeam last week and y'all we're dragging the others to hell saying they weren't as complex so let me prove you wrong starting with Kit ft. a lot of Ming. If u want my summery Mingkit analysis it's the last paragraph on this post but I'll post it separately too:

Something that really intrigues me about kit is his capacity for other people’s attention. We see through out the first series that Beam is quite a ladies man and is seen many times trying to hit on the stars of the university but for Kit this is rare. Aside from Pha, Beam and Forth, Kit is rarely seen interacting with anyone one else closely and think that speaks volumes of his personality. He may be stubborn and sometimes aggressive but I think deep down he's compensating for a lack of security, all he really wants is that resounding feeling of safety and he finds that with in the tight knit friendship between him, Beam and Pha; and perhaps that’s what makes his relationship with Ming so infatuating.

Ming is the very definition of what Kit seems to avoid, he is bold and loud, clumsy with his feelings, a stranger. He's a player and doesn't need that sense of security like the other which seemed to be the biggest red flag to kit during their development. Imediately when the two first properly meet there’s a sense of surprise from the shorter when he finds that Ming still remembers him, and straight away he throws up his guard. Through out at least the series so far it's almost like Kit wants himself to hate Ming or at least he feels like he should; he knows Ming is everything he seeks to avoid and so he tries to act accordingly. He constantly seems frustrated around him but rather than being agitated by Ming, I think what's really bothering him is himself and the way he can't help but yearn for these moments of having the other around. Doesn't make sence right? Surely he'd be happy if he actually wanted to see him? Well you'd figure, but perhaps it causes Kit such anguish as he knows while having Ming around he loses control and he doesnt want to give him self the oppertunity to get to know him or like him as even just a friend,,, and so instead he snaps at him. Again I think this was a really subtle and lovely way of displaying Kits issue; he truly is an increadible example of head vs heart.

I loved looking deeper into these two as they appear to have such a typical dynamic of cat and dog, but I really think the second series explored so much deeper into their personalities and character. I think what is really being portreyed by these two is so much more than just a spunky journey of two boys in love. Really I think that we delve into dealing with the concept of searching for trust and a sense of clarity in not only someone else but yourself too. I do think that kit is perhaps the “protagonist’ of this idea. Ming is very much the big scary monster in the dark for him. Whether Kit had had partners before or not I'm unsure but I think the reason why Ming really affected him so incredibly was that he’d never been loved in such a way, so shamelessly and intensely, especially by someone like Ming. Someone he’s so unalike in so many ways. Really I think their arch isn’t about Ming breaking into Kit's abrasive character but rather Kit searching for truth and a reason to believe in ming and the insecurities on both ends of that.

We see many times that kit is appalled by Mings ways, for example the way ming had so many ex partners, this was such a big piece information to just be brushed over; infact its exactly what knocked kit so far from feeling like he could reach out and grasp onto Ming. Again referring back to before, I think kit really yearns for a sence of safety in everyone he brings close to him, a place to relax, someone he can trust enough to not hide behind his front; he doesn’t care to be played with or used so seeing that ming would throw away his past relationships so readily perhaps triggered that insecurity as he rightly so doesn't feel that sense of security with ming. He appears unpredictable to Kit, almost as if he throws his feeling around carelessly, but we know this isn't true and that in fact Ming is increadibly predictable.

We see more of this when Kit storms away at the beach telling ming to stay where he is (which he does). Personally this is still one of my favourite scenes as it's fucking bursting with emotion and crammed with developing concepts i've already mentioned but it really does just get me every time. There's so much to unpick, it really was the turning point for the two- at least in my eyes. It admittedly does just appear as if Kit got short tempered and barked at Ming who then got upset and sulked, but really the scene is a lot meatier. It was really a big eye opener for kit as though neither of them spoke about what happened, it really felt like they both knew Ming was proving to kit that he takes his word seriously, and isn't afraid to commit to him. Kit seemed guilty when the scene returned to him and the others drinking but when Ming was dragged in by another friend Kit seems shocked realizing he probably would have sat there all night if it had played out that way. Maybe he assumed ming had gone back to his room but the fact he didnt was such a slap in the face. I love this cause Ming stares at him sadly, knowing full well he's proven a point. Kit knows he's upset Ming and realises that rather than Ming not taking the idea of a relationship seriously, perhaps he himself was the one dismissing any chance of something real, some clarity. Maybe he was his own scary monster in the dark. He knows full well that Ming is harmless or else he wouldn't have appeared so guilty when returning to the hang out without him.

The whole beamkit scene where beam pulled a doozy on us and pretended he and kit were dating is another obvious telling of his character, (nines expressions in those few seconds were fucking ace btw, the absolute utter panic swirling into sorry eyes, then a punch in the gut and finally regret) in those few moments alone its obvious that he knows he's done Ming wrong, but if you really look closer there's a whole ugly ass betrayal hiding in there. In the chat they just had in a prior scene, Kit makes a point out of not wanting to get hurt by Ming leading him on only to ditch him for another person, but what did kit just do to Ming? Huh?¿?? Exactly, its easily missed but it's an awesome detail i picked up when diving into this and i have to say it was another perfect example of Kit being flung between head vs heart. Kit's been trying so hard to get Ming to use his head rather than his heart, but by using his own head to try and protect him self Kit's only gone and done the exact thing he was so afraid happening to himself to Ming. I think realising this he understands that even though they're so different and worlds apart, they're both just dumb fucking humans and he shouldnt be so hard on Ming, especially when Ming's been nothing but loyal and honest. Perhaps Kit is scared of committing but he's projecting that onto Ming because he doesn't want to admit it, he only sees what he wants to see because thats all he knows after putting up a front for so long when ever his emotional well being is threatened.

Honestly Kit's really just been his own problem this entire show and he really ought to sit the fuck down and let him self live 👏🏻

Thought it was endearing when he took Pha out so he could get drunk. Obviously getting wasted to forget your problems isn't particularly endearing, but like i said about Beam last week, it makes him feel more human. Especially when Beam shows up acting like the whole beamkit couple thing was a joke (when it clearly wasn't) and Kit's just like fuck you you're so annoying. Smh he really is boo boo that fool. He's just so completey oblivious that his best friend in the entire world is head over heels in love with him, so gullible just believing what ever the fuck anyone says. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt seen as he was drunk but Idk it just tickles me that he's always so tense and always so on guard yet the level of dumbassery is just,,,, how's he gonna be a doctor when he's literally a raw nerve on fucking legs. Bless.

He really lets things bother him, but he's much more readable than beam which we know even just from Phana knowing right away what was up. The fact he hid from Ming when Ming entered the bar(?) too really emphasized how completely not as hard as nails he is despite how he tends to act tough. Thought that was a sweet detail in unravelling Kit's personality and how Ming seems already to have completely knocked his walls down; Kit's not even trying to act like he's unaffected anymore.

We all joke about Beam being an emotional wreck but fr kits really not that far behind. He deals with everything horribly and always seems to make shit worse for both himself and Ming. He just wants what's best for everyone but sometimes that's harder than it looks and he really proved that. He goes into panic mode if Ming so much as breaths in his direction which actually does the complete opposite of intended as rather than seeming tough and cold, it just shows Ming that Kit's easily flustered around him, EG, HE FUCKING LIKES HIM, KIT JUST WRITE IT ON YOUR FOREHEAD AT THIS POINT. He thinks he's so mysterious fr, boy the whole world and it's goldfish has you sussed, who do you think your fooling with that attitude?

Can't not mention the kiss and how sweet that was on Kit's end. After all that mess and acting unaffected, as soon as he sees Ming move towards him he imediately melts back into his big softie boyf as if he'd been waiting a life time to kiss him. He literally called him a 'bastard' seconds before, if that ain't some sort of chaotic then what the fuck is he. Jkjk, back to the point, Kit does this thing where he lies to him self, C O N S T A N T L Y. He's forever telling himself that he's in control, he's forever telling himself that Ming's out to get him, he's forever acting as if he doesn't want anything to do with Ming, but this scene was so satisfying cause it really just ripped everything he'd been pretending to be from right underneath him. He kissed Ming so readily and for the first time in the relationship he actually seemed put together and calm and in control. He's never known what to do with Ming's attention yet here and now with his lips on his all he could do was reach out and grasp on to his 'scary monster in the dark' (Side note i absolutely fucking adore how Kit's gone from being so rough and brash with Ming to being so ridiculously shy after the kiss. I think it's forced him to face facts and he finally realised there was no point in keeping up his walls. Ming knows now, theres no need. It's sweet showing his vulnerable side for once, this is some healthy character development i can get behind.)

You'll have noticed this gradually got less formal and is slowly making less and less sense. That's because as i'm writing this it's 5:40am and the brain juice is running low but the next bit should be a pinch more coherent sorry,

What i love about Kit and Ming's relationship is the whole role reverse as the series progressed. At the beginning we see Kit, part of a solid group of friends and he's comfortable and confident where as Ming's just a new student at the university, finding his feet. We expect him to perhaps be naïve or immature, and yes he's a little clingy but really Ming is one of the most stable characters going and exactly what kit needs despite how he first appeared. Not once has Ming changed his goal of pursuing kit, not once has he fucked up, not once has he ever panicked. Ming- even though he's sulky- is really quite mature with his dealing of Kit. He's honest and really does what ever he can to make it work. I loved the example of this where he backed off after the kiss. It was so so sweet considering how clingy he usually is, and it really shows he takes great time and contemplation when considering Kits feelings and that he has a really deep understanding of how Kit's mind actually works and how he may react. He backs off knowing Kit likes his space and that maybe he over stepped the line pretending to be black out drunk, but again i really love this as this creates that safe space and feeling of clarity that i keep bringing up as it meant kit could reach out in his own time and really come to terms with things without any pressure. It meant that for once Kit would have to make the move to communicate and take a step in their relationship and i think for Ming to take that initiative to really somewhat place their fate in Kits hands for a while was really quite sweet and mature of him. We stan our emotionally healthy engineering boys fr. We come to realise by now that perhaps Kit is actually quite bashful and somewhat of a baby dear when it comes to emotions, charging head first into anything but initially losing his footing right off the get go. But Ming is stable, he is collected and cool and surprisingly gentle. Its really quite tell tale that kit spoke so much about ming maybe lacking in commitment when really he was the one too afraid to commit, he was clearly insecure. This arch really was kit heavy and though i already said what i think their arch focuses on, i just want to add that it also explores growth and becoming a better person because of a relationship. They bounce off eachother in such an interesting way, and so intunely that they cant help but work. Kit never knows what to say or how to approach ming but its okay, Ming has that covered and always comes to find him. Ming's very flirtatious, and kit and easy to fluster. Kit needs time and Ming is patient. All these little north and south traits really just pull together and i love how these two were written with such harmony. I know I've delved way deeper than was ever intended for these characters but i think we shouldn't take for granted the complexity of such a wonderful thing.

This is the reason why i think 2moons2 is miles ahead of 2moons the series. Aside from the cringe music, over dramatic zooms and lingering shots which can sometimes make it difficult to watch, 2moons2 really seeks complexity in each character and i admire that itch to bring them to life as i feel 2moons was increadibly 2D in this aspect. I only really believed in Kit when i watched that series, but 2moons2 really forces you to believe and invest in every main character and i just think as someone who writes that it's rather lovely.

What are your thoughts? Do comment if you have time, I'd love to hear more on these two :)

#2moons2 #2moons2 the series #2moons #2moons the series #2 moons 2 #pha #phana x wayo #phana #phayo #wayo #mingkwan #mingkit #ming #kitkat #kit #forthbeam #forth #beam

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the-sanders-sides · 6 years ago

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indian american (desi) roman

hi! i relate to roman and ive been seeing posts like these and i got inspired!!

part 2

his name is actually rohan, but he started going by roman in middle school partly as a pun by his friend patton, and partly because “there are like six other kids on our street alone named rohan. i need to stand out! out there in the real world theyll never expect me, the desi kid, to be named roman!”

his parents both immigrated to the US when they were kids and his family followed the ~American Dream~

he grew up in an asian community and rarely saw non-asians until he was in middle school

he does dramatic retelling of ztv hindi dramas and thats where first he got into acting

he’s short and furious

his grandma always said it’s cuz he doesnt drink enough milk

he tries to explain to her genetics so basic that even he could understand

his grandma doesn’t believe genetics. it’s the milk.

his cousins back in india rave about cricket and soccer to him

he doesn’t get the appeal of either sport, nor he understand the convoluted system of cricket

once he was old enough to realize this, he began to despise how even though the constitution says freedom of religion, public schools still make the kids do christmas activities and thanksgiving and easter activities that are mandatory. bc if it theres truly freedom of religion, then shouldnt public schools, a governmental, public organization be fully secular??

he is very upset at the christain centric & abrahamic religion centric view of the world that the schools teach, and how they dont even talk about anything that isnt an abrahamic religion (not even in history class!)

on diwali in high school he sneaks into the administration room and takes over the school PA system to talk about diwali and hinduism and how the world isnt just abrahamic religions

speaking of diwali

he is in LOVE with doing rangoli and always does more and more elaborate ones each year

he tried to help make bhatura once. he was not allowed in the kitchen afterwards

“it’s okay that youre that bad at cooking as long as you marry another indian person who can make you these things, otherwise, ill teach you until you can out-cook me” said his grandma

there was a family reunion once and he didnt know anyone there

he met some cousins for the first time when he was sixteen. it was like theyd known each other since they were babies.

he always feels insecure about doing bad in school because of how high a value his culture places education and knowledge but he cant seem to understand anything

when he was younger his grandma told him if he didnt pass math theyd change his last name from an indian one to the name “smith”

he passed math for the sole reason to not become a white person (because yes roman, thats what happens when you change your last name, dumbass)

his other desi friend told him in her dramatic indian accent that her mom said “youre an A-sian, not a B-sian” in regards to her grades

he couldnt stop laughing for a good ten minutes

when he came out as gay his parents, while not really understanding because being gay wasnt really talked about whn they were growing up, they were extremely accepting

“did you actually think we were gonna be like those christains who kick their kid out because it goes against the bible?” “...” “rohan! learn your own religion! have you even seen the karma sutra?!” “dad, ew”

he is fluent in english and can understand hindi but has trouble speaking it back

his cousins in india tease him and his siblings for their desi accents when he speaks hindi

when theyre teenagers, his cousins teach him hindi swear words

“okay so kuti is, you know, female dog, and then you know how theres motherfucker in english? well in hindi we’ve got bhenchod”

“ASFDGF SISTER FUCKER?? ARE YOU FOR REAL?? OH MY GOSH THAT IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN MOTHERFUCKER I LOVE IT”

he loves doing kathak dance and loves how it integrates sound with the movements and he took classes in it and can do it perfectly

even if he is a partial disgrace for his bad grades, his commitment to kathak, ztv impressions, and indian flute saved his reputation (and also those skills landed him a professional theater role fresh outta high school)

he’s also the biggest defier of the “indians are good at school especially math” stereotype because someone once asked what 2+3 is and he said 1

it wasnt his proudest moment, yet he was proud of himself for breaking down stereotypes, one dumbass moment at a time

speaking of stereotypes

whenever people are racist he just shouts at them and insults them with his Superior Confidence and also to defy stereotypes that indians are just socially awkward nerds who cant defend themselves (looking at you big bang theory)

once he was walking with a friend and they were talking in a mix of hindi and english and some jerk asses laughed at them and were like “hey curry munchers!” and then bowed in a super offensive way while saying “namaste” and pronouncing it horribly wrong

he responded by yelling back at them “we’re in america! speak english!” and that shut them up.

he pretends that being called racist stuff doesnt hurt him, but when he’s alone he lets it show and oh boy

oh fucking boy is he sad because he hates himself and actually lets everything thats said to him get to him even though he doesnt show it and his self esteem is very fragile

he is absolutely in love with vardaan arora’s music, mostly because he is also gay and indian (and very attractive)

he obsessively watches || Superwoman || (aka lily singh) because oh dear are there a dearth of desi creators and actors and stuff and her videos are so relatable and funny

speaking of which

despite his huge resume and experience and overall amazing ability to act, he is yet to get his big break because he declines most major roles he gets because he refuses to portray racist and stereotypical depictions of indians

and also because no one is really race blind and they wont hire an indian lest it become an “indian show”

his grandma is happy in the end because he does settle down with a nice, smart, indian boy who can cook and counteract all his dumbassery ;) ;) ;) *cough* logan *cough*

all in all, he loves his culture and his family (even the family members he’s yet to meet)

#sanders sides #roman sanders #logince #(if you squint)#ts roman #ts prince #desi #thomas sanders #mine #the one thing i dont relate to roman with is bad at school and math because i am the math indian stereotype

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kegareki · 5 years ago

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25, 33, 35, 36, 39, 52, 67, 39, 94 for you! ^u^ and for Luce, 5, 41, 42, 52, 85, 90, 91, 94, 95, 98. answer the ones you wanna answer :')

:D :D thank you for sending questions!

for me:

25) What color socks are you wearing?

i am not wearing socks because it is Too Hot For That, Currently

33) What do you typically have for breakfast?

... there was a period of three months in a row and then another month just now where i ate egg sandwiches and orange juice for breakfast, so i'm going to go with that

35) Have you ever tried archery?

I Have Not, Unfortunately

36) Favorite clean word?

... good question. uh. i like words for surprised, like flabbergasted and gobsmacked

39) Do you have any scars?

i have four dotted lines on the back of my right hand that i vaguely think of as having earned in a fishing incident, though i'm not sure if that was a dream or not. i have a thin scar on the bend of my left thumb from sanding it accidentally in eighth grade. i have a scar on my right shin from... possibly me scratching at a bug bite??

52) Favorite food?

beef and cheese quesadillas are so good

67) Can you name all 50 states of America?

I HATE THIS QUESTION BECAUSE IT MADE ME LITERALLY HAVE TO MAKE A NUMBERED LIST AND WRITE DOWN STATES THAT I COULD REMEMBER. no, i cannot name all 50 states. i got 39 of them.

94) What are your strengths?

i'm creative, probably?

JKGJFKD no but. i'm used sometimes as a voice of reason and to give perspective? one of my friends goes along with the currents of the group and doesn't have the best understanding of where the line is, because he's very petty and so are most of his friends, but i'm less... eager to exact revenge? especially in ways that are gratuitous and not "getting even" so much as it is being cruel for the sake of it.

for luce:

5) What is your favorite color?

purple! any shade of it, really, though i think they'd tend toward darker and/or greyer tones of it.

41) Are you a good liar?

ehhh...

a good liar as in "good at deliberately obfuscating the truth"? not really, no. luce is an honest sort of person, generally, and they don't lie often enough for them to get good at it.

but "obfuscating the truth incidentally and for enjoyment" is something they're more adept in. like arguing ardently in favor of leeches for half an hour before giving up and admitting that they don't even like leeches in the first place. as long as it's not thought of as lying, specifically, they're fine

42) Are you a good judge of character?

ehhh...

ghjfdldjsk no but. this is. hm. i'd say that they generally are, though they have certain prejudices that may prevent them from having a truly accurate reading.

for example: garp is their grandpa, right? he loves them and wants the best for them, despite the forms that these things take, and he would have gladly taught them things. but they hate him so much that they refuse to acknowledge these things about him and view him in just about the worst light possible

but when they're not powerfully predisposed towards Hating Someone, they're a lot more likely to actually take in what kind of person it is and form opinions based off of what they can tell

52) Favorite food?

egg sandwiches. just. egg sandwiches.

bonus: their least favorite food is mint chocolate, because it is the worst kind of chocolate and you can't change my mind

85) What color are your eyes?

their eyes are dark brown!

90) What makes you angry?

systemic inequality and injustice. (they and sabo have a lot of discussions about this.)

a society that demands the blood of its citizens and cares not for the staunching of wounds but for the continued gaping of them.

garp's existence. (they remember canon marineford, and they're never going to forgive him for it. this may not be the same man entirely, but--the fact that he has that capability--no. they want him far away from them and theirs.)

shanks. (they like him but they also feel like they shouldn't, which is aggravating.)

(they also get angry at themselves when they fuck up, but they're quieter about that.)

91) Do you like your own name?

they... don't mind it? names are weird things to have and it's pretty common to feel alienated from them, but luce is an okay one, and they get used to it. they kind of wish they had a name that allowed for nicknames, though. "lu" just makes both them and luffy look over.

94) What are your strengths?

they're good at improvisation--have to be, with ASL as their friends--and able to adapt to new situations, even if they don't like the development.

they're also good at listening--to other people, to corrections. if they've done something wrong, they want to know so that they can correct it and not do it again.

communication in general is probably their biggest strength? they're the most communicative by dint of being the one trying to teach the rest of ASLsquared to communicate, and that means that ASLsquared are all pretty open with each other, to varying degrees, and are at least peripherally aware of people's boundaries, even if they can't really articulate them.

on a lighter note: they can also wrangle ASL with pretty high reliability. (it helps that they won't pester ASL to do things that they genuinely do not want to ever do.)

95) What are your weaknesses?

they don't always think before acting, which is not great and results in awkward or outright bad situations sometimes.

they also don't always know when they've fucked up--some social etiquette and norms slip past their mind or don't register at all.

they're very selfish and self-oriented, and hate that ASLsquared have to part ways. they want to stay together! they don't want to have to give any of them up! as unrealistic as they know it is, it still hurts and makes them feel like they're the only one who doesn't want to leave, which makes them want to hold onto them harder.

... on a lighter note: ASL's smiles. ace's dimples. luffy's sparkling eyes. sabo focusing on them. and don't even get me started on ASL entreating luce with "i love you"s. luce is weak.

98) Do you have any scars?

luce has to continue the monkey d. trend of having something up with the left side of their face, so they're going to get a scar. can't tell you yet what that scar is going to be, though

they're getting various arm and leg scars from 1) Bug Bites, 2) The Regular Battles With Terrifying Megafauna, and 3) normal kid dumbassery

i'll have better answers for this question later on when i’ve. actually. thought about it gjksdfjsdklf

#keg wrecks #set sail verse #literally just the saddest thing is that finding a nickname for luce is /hard/.#i went 'lu-two' in my head and laughed #500shadesofblue

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le-lex · 6 years ago

Text

I love you in the morning when the blood runs to your cheeks

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender Pairing: Keith/Lance Words: 15k

“Hey, do you want a croissant? Or a cookie? They’re really good! My ma makes them all. What are you into? Take anything, seriously, whatever you want!” Bakery Guy keeps waving him over at a faster pace the closer Keith gets and as Keith approaches the table he backs off from where he was hunched like a dragon over a pile of leftover pastries.

“Uh…” Keith has no idea what the fuck is going on right now and he knows that his eyebrows are furrowed in a way that always makes Shiro laugh, but he can’t help it. What is happening.

Bakery Guy shoots a ray of pure sunlight out of his face directly into Keith’s eyes with his smile and tries again, “We don’t always sell everything pastry and bread wise, so I try to hook up the other vendors with some treats before we take everything to the women’s shelter downtown. Do you want anything?”

In which Keith and Lance fall in love over a farmers market season the same way they do everything else: a little bit backward and a whole lot stupid.

AO3: (x)

Keith has to keep actively reminding himself to stop clenching his teeth so hard by opening his mouth and moving his jaw from side to side like an actual idiot. Each time he does it, he casts a quick glance to the booths on either side of him to make sure their occupants aren’t witnessing his stressed out dumbassery in real time. What the fuck is he doing here, truly.

He’s currently sitting in his stupid, slightly rickety camping chair a cool hour after initially getting to the market and unpacking all of his things. He’d been awake for hours before he psyched himself up enough to actually drive to the market and he’d sat in his gently rumbling truck for ten minutes in the parking lot before he crow barred himself out of the cab into the fresh morning air to set up his market table and tools.

Hunching a little in his work jacket to brace himself against the early morning breeze, he looks down at his set up and has to physically prevent himself from sighing melodramatically. The table cloth he’s using to cover his folding table is an old red plaid one of his dad’s that Shiro always brutally makes fun of whenever he sees it. His toolbox is propped up and open with everything he needs handy and his two grinders are set up at an appropriately reachable distance from his shitty, unbalanced chair.

Just to be clear, he’s nervous as fuck. And he doesn’t really want to be here.

It’s his first day at this farmers market, his first day at a farmers market in general truly and he has essentially…zero idea what to expect. Obviously, he’s been at a farmers market before in his life, he doesn’t live under a fucking rock, but he’s never had his own booth at one and he thinks it may just be easier to climb back into his truck and fuck off into the sunrise and abandon this idea in its final hour.

But as he’s thinking this and as his hands are twitching to toss all of his utensils into his toolbox and haul ass out of here, he catches Shiro’s smile and wave from across the circular rotunda type structure the market is housed in and resolves himself to a morning of what is likely to be socially motivated torture. He’s not able to make a timely and quick escape if Shiro has already seen him, unfortunately.

Keith begrudgingly waves back to him and watches as Shiro hefts a pallet of cucumbers out of the farm truck he’s currently unpacking.

Shiro is dressed like every middle-aged white mother’s wet dream, wearing a flannel rolled up past his elbows over a t-shirt with his aunt’s farm’s logo on it and dark jeans tucked into his scuffed-up work boots. He’s such a beautiful, buff motherfucker that it makes Keith’s eyes roll into the back of his head, because honestly, who even looks like that. Who looks like that and works at a farmers market and hauls vegetables out of the bed of a truck with such a look of tranquility and contentment that it makes all the waiting regulars sigh a little watching him. Shiro, that’s fucking who, he supposes.

He catches the eye of Shiro’s tiny little aunt standing behind her table and setting up literal pyramids of vegetables and gives her a small smile as she waves across to him.

Shiro helps his elderly aunt out with her vegetable farm during the on season because he just truly is that good of a person. Thinking about it makes Keith a little ill.

Ignoring the sweatiness of his palms, he leans back in his chair and glances up at the sign that’s swinging lazily in the breeze where it’s attached to the front of his tent. It makes him laugh a little every time he sees it, even though it’s nicely made. That’s what patronage at the town UPS Store will get you. A quality sign with your bullshit name on it. It mostly makes him laugh because the name he decided on for his market booth is “Keith’s Knife Hut” solely because it causes Shiro to make a face that’s split between disbelief and actual pain every time he looks at it. Motivation, y’all.

Despite the growing dread over being present in this current situation, the knowledge that Shiro is going to be in his line of sight for most of the day and that he’ll likely wander over later is comforting enough.

The market hasn’t officially opened yet which Keith is grateful as fuck for, but early regulars mill about and later arrivals to the market are efficiently setting up their booths just in time for the sunrise.

He has his pricing spiel all planned out in his head and he turns it around and around in his mind as he sits there. He’s said it enough times to his commercial clients that he isn’t particularly worried, but this is a whole different setting than the back of a restaurant kitchen where he usually works and that’s enough to make him stumble over his words. Five dollars per knife, seven dollars for anything else. Including multitools, yard tools, and lawn mower blades.

Forcibly unclenching his teeth yet again, he chants his prices in his head and triumphantly thinks that even if he can’t always connect to the customers he has, he can sharpen anything. Let’s go, middle upper-class patrons of this bougie farmers market, give me your bladed tools to sharpen.

With a glance to his phone showing that it’s officially seven am and a final straighten of his sandpaper loops, he shoots a pleading request to whatever deity may be out there for today to go well and thinks, here goes nothing.

Three hours later and Keith is able to actually sit back in his chair and finally glance around the rest of the market.

It’s been…a day, surely. And it hadn’t gone as bad as Keith had been expecting, which is generally the way things play out. Being at the market was surprisingly fun and after the first few clipped conversations with inquiring customers where he had no idea what the tempo of the interactions was supposed to be, he was able to fluently and efficiently roll out his pricing bullshit for the next, like, fifteen people who stopped at his booth to chat.

Granted, he didn’t really sharpen anything aside from a few pocket knives and a multitool here and there, but mostly because people don’t carry around full sets of kitchen knives on them without a valid reason. A valid reason being…well, getting your kitchen knives sharpened.

He’d given his business card out to a lot of interested people and he figures that that’ll be enough to get him some real business when he’s back the following Tuesday. Just the thought has him feeling a little bit cheerful.

Truthfully, he really likes doing this in a way he doesn’t like doing a lot of things. Working with his hands and fixing something and making it more efficient and useful in a very tangible way. It feels purposeful, gives him a very clear outcome with just a little bit of action.

Plus, it’s not like sharpening knives is hard, if he’s going to be totally honest. Anyone could do it with the right equipment and knowledge, but, he supposes, that most people don’t really want to.

With his extensive background in tools and knives, he was able to cultivate a pretty solid customer base in the form of restaurants and specialty food stores when he first started, and he keeps up with a lot of those regulars on a pretty consistent basis. He can, however grudgingly, admit that Shiro was definitely right in the farmers market being a good side gig on the weekends and a few days during the week.

It’s not like he’s going to tell Shiro that. A thanks for the connection to the market manager for the booth space might be in order, though.

Keith struggles a little bit when shrugging out of his jacket and knocks a few of his own tools off his table before he’s able to really look around.

The way the market is set up is kind of odd, in his own humble architectural opinion. Which means absolutely fuck all nothing, but still. It’s a giant concentric circle with a lot of open space in the middle where the plant people congregate and sell giant potted flowers. All of the booths are set up inside the circular roofing at the outer edge of the biggest circle, so you can enter the market and walk all the way around in one direction until you end up right back where you started. He guesses it’s a pretty good business model, a trap that doesn’t really feel like one when you’re looking at artisanal cheeses and bird houses made out of refurbished cabinets or whatever the hell people sell here.

His booth is right next to the entrance, so he’s one of the first stalls that market patrons see upon arrival. Beside him to the left is another vegetable stand with a kindly middle-aged woman who runs it and across the way from him is a weird sounding combination goat cheese and mushroom stall that he doesn’t really understand at first inspection.

There’s a bakery next to that, and a honey and bee paraphernalia stall down the way a little bit the opposite way.

He could, potentially, make attempts to talk to these people, but also, he could literally do anything aside from that. For a bit this morning, he made polite small talk with the other vegetable woman before he began to feel like he was betraying Auntie Shirogane’s farm by fraternizing with the enemy. She was nice though, and she gave him a bag of snap peas that he has absolutely no idea what to do with, so he supposes that they can be market friends.

That was a big component of the market that Shiro had ranted on and on about when he was convincing Keith to “join the market family.” That right there was enough to make Keith think that it sounded a bit like a cult, but Shiro had adamantly championed that the younger market workers were “good friends” who “looked out for each other” and “gave each other a lot of free shit.”

When Keith had pointed out that he doesn’t really have a lot of free shit to give aside from free knife sharpenings and what millennial is going to want that, Shiro had cheerily told him to piss off and to submit his application for a market booth as soon as possible.

Which Keith did. Thus, explaining why he’s here.

But whatever.

He’s startled out of his thoughts by a lidded coffee cup being briskly set on his plaid tablecloth and sends a pair of pliers toppling to the floor with his full body flinch.

“What in the ever-loving fuck,” Keith hisses up at a very amused looking Shiro as he dips under his folding table for the rogue pliers.

“I brought you coffee. Stop swearing in this wholesome, family environment.”

“You literally told me when I got here that I had to try “the dope ass baklava” from that stall next to yours, so I don’t have to take orders from the likes of you.” He takes the coffee though, he’s not a dumbass.

Shiro’s eyes crinkle up in a smile that Keith knows is his I’m Proud of Keith for Doing Something That Really Wasn’t That Hard Smile, which only serves to make him grumble under his breath and adamantly avoid Shiro’s gaze.

“So, how’s it going so far?”

Keith actively evades his meaningful eye contact by staring at the bakery stall across from him and a little to the right, where two tall, vaguely attractive people flutter around behind the table and slide pastries and bread into little plastic bags. “It’s going. I’ve talked to a lot of people who seemed interested and wanted to know if I’d be here on Tuesday.”

One of the tall, fluttery people behind the bakery table is flapping his hands around as he talks to the customer he’s serving, his grin split wide across his face and so bright that it actually makes Keith squint a little.

“That’s awesome. I’m really glad to hear it. Auntie was worried about you earlier, she said you were scowling and that it mars your handsome face.”

Shiro is…definitely still talking, but all Keith can focus on is the frenetic movement of the bakery boy’s long fingered hands. He’s talking so fast that Keith can’t even make out any of the words from his spot about twenty feet away. He smiles wide again as the customer leaves, and Keith quite literally feels like he’s staring into the sun. What the fuck.

He cuts a quick glance back at Shiro, who is now involved in a conversation with the Other Vegetable Woman and makes a noncommittal noise that he knows Shiro will deem as an appropriate response simply from long term Keith exposure.

Keith picks up his pretentious farmers market coffee to take an experimental sip and his gaze slides back over to the butterfly-handed boy, who chooses that exact split second to raise his own face up to meet Keith’s eyes.

It takes a few seconds for Keith’s heart to restart after being caught staring across the market at this deadass stranger who is now looking back at him, and when it does, it’s basically a lost cause anyway.

Bakery boy meets his eyes and smiles that stupid solar powered smile back at Keith, lifting up his hand to waggle his stupid long fingers at him in a quick, little wave.

Keith forcibly resists the urge to look around to see if that wave is for him and clenches his teeth to stop from audibly groaning in socially fueled distress, he lifts up his coffee cup in an odd kind of salute before resolutely looking absolutely anywhere but the bakery stall.

Shiro is still talking about vegetable shelf life or something dumb like that when Keith returns to both Earth and the conversation they’re having. It’s like the sound of the market immediately floods back into his awareness and he has to ball up one of his hands against his thigh to reign himself back in.

What in the fuck.

For the next hour, Keith looks only straight ahead at inquiring customers, down at his table, or to the left of the circle.

This avoidance tactic only works for so long. Keith makes eye contact with the tall bakery boy across from his stall three more times before the afternoon comes to a lazy close. His heart essentially stops each time, usually because said bakery boy is looking back whenever Keith glances over at him.

He’s able to catch glimpses of the boy across the way a few times without making any reciprocal eye contact. He’s tall and lithe in a way that is annoying to Keith simply due to his own more compact build. What can Keith say, he’s got a low center of gravity.

Details of said boy, or more likely said man, are not able to be gleaned from his position at his own booth, but Keith can tell that he’s fairly good looking even from far away. Tall and dark skinned and in a constant state of motion. He’s also wearing fucking overalls. Not coveralls like Shiro sometimes wears out in the fields when it gets cold in the later part of the season, but actual jean overalls over a bright yellow tie-dye shirt with what Keith assumes is his bakery’s logo.

It’s all he’s able to take note of when he’s constantly glancing there and back under absolute duress.

The last time it happened, Keith had to physically clamp his own mouth shut to prevent any untoward exclamations because Tall Bakery Man smiled so widely at him that his eyes were practically closed. It was most enchanting thing Keith had ever seen. It can absolutely not happen again or it will put Keith straight into his grave.

At around one o’clock, Keith starts to pack up all of his shit. He sharpened around six pocket knives and a few multitools and has given out about thirty of his Keith’s Knife Hut business cards. He feels good. Satisfied in a way that he usually doesn’t after social interaction.

He figures that because he’s talking about something he’s more or less dedicated his life to is why it’s easier to talk to strangers about it. Hyper focusing is something that tends to happen to him and he’s got a lot of material in terms of talking about and around kitchen knives and gardening tools. It’s comfortable and comforting all at once, which is a very novel feeling after being exposed to upwards of hundreds of people for six hours.

Just as he’s finished taking the sandpaper loops off his grinders, he glances up to possibly catch Shiro’s eye to wave goodbye to him when he spots Bakery Boy behind his own table. He’s relatively still and not actually doing anything aside from smiling but it makes Keith’s breath stop. How the hell did this happen? Why is Keith acting this way in the face of one singular person looking at him a few times throughout the day? The guy is wearing overalls, for fuck’s sake.

From across the way, the bakery worker smiles even bigger and gives him another jaunty finger wiggle. Only this time, he gives Keith a thumbs up with one hand and winks at the same time. It’s charming in an annoyingly effortless way and it forces a truly pained noise through Keith’s teeth and has him aggressively tossing the few tools he has left into his toolbox. He has got to get the fuck out of here.

He packs up his table and tool box and grinders as quick as possible without spilling all of his shit all over the cement floor of the market. His truck rumbles to life after a few rushed attempts to jam his keys into the ignition, mostly because he’s still flustered as fuck.

Trying to take a step back from the experience and the staccato beating of his own heart, he carefully considers how his first attempt at being a farmers market vendor went. It was a good first day, in all honesty. He’s happy to be here. He may even like it here.

But Keith isn’t going to think about this interaction with the Tall Bakery Man ever again. He’s going to Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind this shit. He’s all good.

It’s fine.

He thinks about almost nothing but that five second interaction all weekend. It’s not fine.

It continues on in this way for the next few weeks. Keith’s business kicks up now that people know that he’s at the market and he finds himself sharpening upwards of 25-30 kitchen knives a day along with his usual pocket knives. He also sometimes gets scissors, a few handheld axes, and once a comically large pair of hedge shears.

Honestly, Keith would be lying if he said it wasn’t fun. It’s a good, friendly atmosphere and being out in the open air for most of the day a few times a week is probably good for him. He’s met the market manager, Coran, a few times now and quietly chats with the Vegetable Lady next to him most days. She’s still hooking him up with peas.

Coran is fascinating because he rules the market with an iron fist and a slightly unhinged sense of responsibility. His bright orange t-shirt says “Market Master” on the back and he spends a lot of his time chasing after dog owners who bring their pets under the covered portion of the market despite the copious signage stating otherwise.

It’s nice, even if he has to see Coran’s white ass thighs at seven am three days a week because the motherfucker refuses to wear anything aside from jean cutoffs and ridiculous white dad tennis shoes.

Shiro floats by most days and brings him coffee and makes small talk about the TV shows they’re both watching and Keith makes a few tentative attempts to talk to one of the goat cheese mushroom women about their stall and their goats, which don’t go totally horrible.

He likes it here, he supposes, at this slightly pretentious outdoor farmers market. Plus, he’s making a good chunk of cash on top of his commercial clients, so he’s absolutely not complaining.

Okay, well…actually, he’s complaining a little bit. Mostly just about the Bakery Boy and the weird eye contact impasse that they’ve cultivated from across the aisleway of their part of the market.

Tall Bakery Man has not let up in terms of his cheeky little waves and plentiful amounts of winking and Keith is pretty sure it’s made his blood pressure rise to dangerous levels.

He’s worried that it’s going to make him pass out one of these days.

But, it’s fine. It’s totally cool. It feels like camaraderie without speaking and that’s one of Keith’s sweet spots. They just smile and wave at each other a lot. Sometimes, when they both first get to the market to set up, the Bakery Man will send him a thumbs up as a sort of little check in and Keith will return it without hesitation.

It’s noncommittal and sweet and it makes Keith want to bang his head against the brick pillar his stall is next to until he falls unconscious amidst the market patrons because he’s a little attached to it now. To the interactions and to the knowledge that Tall Bakery Man will probably already be looking at him if Keith looks over that way throughout the day.

He wears those overalls a lot, Bakery Guy does. Keith doesn’t really see him out behind the tables that his bread and pastries are on, but he’s caught him walking to other vendors’ stalls and lingering at the mushroom goat cheese combo stall a few times.

When he does that, Keith looks resolutely at his feet as he weaves between patrons and tables and absolutely nowhere else, to appear like the exact opposite of the kind of weird creeper that he might be. The shoes Bakery Guy wears are usually some dumb kitschy patterned plimsoll shoes with no socks, his overalls cuffed up past his ankles. Last week they had little sunbathers on them, this week they’re covered in little Dachshunds and hot dogs. It makes Keith want to scream.

He feels like some fucking Victorian woman in ye olden times, in love with this boy’s ankles and getting light headed over it like it’s some big scandal. He’s legitimately stupid.

But yeah, it’s going well.

To say that the rest of the market noticed the Knife Guy on his first day would be an understatement.

They absolutely noticed. They all talked about it incessantly after Coran had mentioned a new vendor would be there the Thursday of the week previous.

Shiro had offhandedly mentioned that he was a friend of his and that he was a little quiet, but that they would all like him. Hunk and Lance had made meaningful eye contact and left it at that. Shiro liked everyone, so that didn’t mean shit. They weren’t going to accept a weird interloper into their fold without appropriate information.

But now, oh but now. Knife Guy is leaned back in a folding chair with one leg crossed and one heavy boot resting on his knee, looking for all the world like he doesn’t give a damn about anything.

Lance silently berates himself for being totally into that as he unloads his pastries from the van and heaves them into a tall stack just behind their stall.

Allura has already started setting up their tables and getting their cash register and display stands ready. He catches her eye and smiles at her a little as he heads back for yet another round of unloading. Even though they’re both morning people, they’ve been awake for a few hours already and aren’t fully into speaking territory yet.

Coran and Shiro both failed to mention that the new guy sharpens knives. Because that is some pertinent info. Who the hell sharpens knives at a farmers market?

As Lance thinks it around in circles, he guesses it makes some kind of sense. He’s just never seen it before and he’s worked at markets in the surrounding area for years. Someone who actually knows what they’re doing and has the tools to make your shit sharp, sure. It’s still weird though.

Plus, the dude looks intense. Long dark hair and heavy eyebrows combined with knives and all that plaid? He’s cultivating a very specific look. And now okay, Lance didn’t say it was a bad look, but it’s a look nonetheless. It’s going to scare the shit out of all the old women.

It takes a bit of time for he and Allura to get all of their shit set up, but they manage to before the market opens which in itself is a win for them. They always have bullshit old people regulars who show up at like 6:55 and demand their favorite loaves of bread before the market has even really opened. Lance rants on and on about entitlement and appreciating market hours to both Allura and his ma frequently, but they just roll their eyes and tell him to help the elderly out.

Whatever. It’s fine. He’s fine. He goes about his market day.

He just can’t stop glancing over at the Knife Guy.

From where their stall is situated, he can’t really see the sign that hangs from Knife Guy’s tent to tell what his stall is called. Even if he pitches over to one side like a dumbass, the brick pillar that his tent is pressed up against blocks it.

He’s cute, though. Real cute. And now that Lance has been watching him for a hot minute, he can see that Knife Guy looks a little bit nervous. He’s staring straight off into space and keeps rubbing his thumb against his pointer finger in a kind of repetitious, comforting sort of way.

Lance should probably go over and say hi, right? It’s been a few hours since they all got here. That’s what normal people would do. Miss Kelly from the vegetable stand next to Knife Guy’s has already talked to him a little earlier. It’s probably weird and hard to start at a market a few weeks into the season and not know anyone aside from fucken Shiro.

And speak of the devil. Lance glances up from putting raspberry danishes into a pleasing arrangement after they sold about half of them earlier to see Shiro slinking across the middle of the market where the plant people are to cut across the aisle way and sidle right up to Knife Guy’s table.

He smacks a coffee cup down against the cheesy plaid tablecloth and Knife Guy, on god, literally flails all of his limbs. Shit falls on the ground and he glares up at Shiro, and Lance…has the good sense to feel a little winded by that glare. It’s not even aimed at him. This dude is good looking, what the fuck.

Lance is still shuffling pastries and cookies around to appeal the most to market patrons, that shit is his life blood and what he’s best at, when he looks back up to see Shiro and Knife Guy chatting a little. He takes a break from organizing raisin croissants and just watches the easy way they both interact with each other.

They’re definitely friends. Of course Shiro would have good looking friends. They’re both wearing plaid too, must be some sort of good-looking dude wavelength they’re both on. Lance only looks good in very certain colors of plaid and he likes wearing his overalls to avoid dressing himself at four am in the dark and getting to the market looking like an actual dumbass. Plus, yellow tie-dye is kind of hard to accessorize. He’ll stick with his denim and zip up hoodies, thank you very much.

He keeps watching them and notices the specific moment where Knife Guy zones out again and then they’re making eye contact. It takes a little bit for Knife Guy to even realize they’re looking at one another and by then Lance is already waving at him a little bit and smiling what he can totally feel is a huge, dorky smile.

Knife Guy…straight up turns pink. Blushes so bright that Lance can see it from across the way. It’s the cutest fucking thing. He can feel warmth curling in his stomach and he laughs a little as Knife Guy is startled into giving him a salute with his coffee cup.

It should look stupid. It doesn’t.

Knife Guy is now resolutely looking anywhere aside from Lance, which makes the warmth in his stomach rock back and forth like he’s on a boat out at sea. He keeps pushing his hands into his dark hair and messing it all up and it serves to makes Lance smile softly down at his pastries.

He should probably leave well enough alone and not embarrass the guy from across the aisle. He should probably go over there and actually speak to him. Introduce himself and Hunk and maybe Pidge and ask him what his name is, find out why in the hell he sharpens knives. How he knows Shiro and where he’s from and what he likes to do in his spare time. Maybe find out what his favorite pastry is.

He should probably do a lot of things.

And yet, he spends the rest of the day sweetly waving at Knife Guy and making his entire face turn red each time. Because this is who he is, not being able to leave well enough alone. He winks at him once right before he leaves and he’s pretty sure Knife Guy chokes as he lurches towards his weird pickup truck and tosses all of his supplies in.

Lance is absolutely not going to let this go.

It continues on in this way for the next few weeks. Lance mans his ma’s farmers market stall. He interacts with his regulars and gives them good deals because they’re nice to him. He chats with Hunk and Pidge and Coran. He makes Knife Guy blush.

They still haven’t spoken, but it’s become a thing. A capital T thing. Lance’s favorite kind of Thing.

It becomes a routine. A few times a day Lance will glance over to Knife Guy’s stall and smile at him, especially big if Knife Guy is already looking. He peppers these ten second interactions with a few thumbs ups, maybe a wink here or a finger guns there. Knife Guy never stops blushing. Lance might be a little bit in love with some random dude in a brown Carhartt jacket that he’s never spoken to.

It’s chill.

He and Hunk make a whole lot of jokes about the Murder Pickup Truck. Knife Guy drives a beat up cream and brown pickup that makes horrible noises when he starts it up and has a lot of weird shit in the back. Hunk is absolutely convinced that he’s a serial killer from the pickup alone, so the working with sharp bladed objects really doesn’t help.

It makes Lance laugh because he’s pretty sure Knife Guy is just a normal dude and once he and Hunk actually speak to him, it’ll be chill. But their jokes give him a hell of an excuse to look at Knife Guy a lot. Not that he wouldn’t anyway, but still.

Over the last few weeks, Lance has subtly watched Knife Guy get more comfortable at the market. Not a lot of people talk to him, usually just Shiro and Miss Kelly and occasionally Coran. But the difference in the way he holds himself in his folding chair a few weeks in compared to his first day is noticeable. It’s sweet, almost. He has a few regulars who bring him their knives and their tools and seems to be able to connect with them a lot more. Lance doesn’t even know him, but he’s proud of him anyway.

Lance had been watching covertly from behind a pyramid of their French bread when Knife Guy had made his first customer laugh. It was revelatory. Knife Guy had seemed surprised but then so, so pleased, smiling shyly from where he sat, and it had made that stirring warmth in Lance’s stomach spread out and fill his entire body.

He might be in trouble. He doesn’t really mind.

Talking to Knife Guy soon might be in the cards, though.

Hunk leans against the outside of the table that all of their bread is piled on and gestures vaguely towards the Knife Guy with the leftover half of his croissant, “I don’t know, man…I just think he’s weird. He puts off a vibe. A very specific vibe. Vibe with a capital V. And also, he may be an actual murderer? Who sharpens knives as a job?”

Reaching over the cash register to pick up fifty cents in change that the woman with the Can I Speak to the Manager Haircut didn’t deem appropriate enough to put in his hand instead of on the table, Lance considers this.

“Hm, okay, duly noted. But his hair is actually pretty nice?” With a cursory glance to be sure that Knife Guy’s head is ducked down focusing on whatever it is that he’s sharpening, Lance takes thorough note of his thick head of dark hair that he’s been appreciating three days every week for the last few weeks.

“It looks even better when it’s pulled back though, he’s done that a few times since he’s started.” Lance decides on after careful deliberation, turning his body back towards Hunk just in time to catch his mouth drop open.

“I- what, we were literally just talking about how he might be a serial killer? Not talking about how nice his hair looks! Do you care at all for our potential safety?”

“Hunk, please, you know I don’t want you to get mur-“ before Lance can even finish, Hunk is straightening up and frantically slapping Lance’s arm, motioning back toward Knife Guy’s stall.

“Look! He’s sharpening an axe right now! Is that not the perfect weapon for horror movie style decapitation?”

“Okay, valid, but it’s not his axe…I saw Mrs. Fitzsimmons drop it off at his stall when she got to the market.” Lance clearly had been keeping a very close eye on his neighbor across the way. So what? Sue him.

Hunk makes a noise of pure disbelief and finishes off his croissant before wandering back to his moms’ stall.

Even though Hunk isn’t looking his way anymore, Lance shrugs. Knife Guy is cute and gets very obviously worked up when Lance winks at him. Plus, he’s got a soft spot for guys in work jackets and plaid, what can he say?

It all comes to a head about a month after Keith first started at the market. Things have been going surprisingly well. He likes being at the market and likes the few friends he’s made. It’s something to look forward to every few days because it’s easy and chill and non-committal.

Shiro is very smug about it. Keith ignores the stupid faces he makes.

It’s a Thursday market day, so there weren’t as many people as there is on Saturdays, but Keith still did pretty well. He had a lot of bigger things to sharpen today, a few lawn mower blades and an actual deadass scythe that a tiny old woman brought him earlier.

It’s about one, so he’s packing up all of his stuff and looking forward to going home and melting into his couch and watching whatever show Adam and Shiro deem good enough to put on when they come over later.

As he’s tucking his finer grade sandpaper loop into his toolbox, he’s startled by what sounds like someone hissing. He whips around only to see Bakery Guy hunched over his front table and beckoning him over. He’s wearing an actually giant sun hat with his usual overall ensemble.

Keith wants to hate it. He, yet again, doesn’t.

“Psssst, Knife Guy, over here!” Bakery Guy makes pointed eye contact with him and waves him over in a flurry of hands.

Keith looks around to either side of him, but Vegetable Lady is gone and the soap booth on the other side of the entrance is just about packed up.

He glances back and makes eye contact with Bakery Guy, pointing at himself with what he knows is a stupid, bewildered look on his face.

Bakery Guy rolls his eyes with practically his whole body and points directly at him, “Uh, yes you, you’re the only knife guy around. Get over here.”

His voice is really nice, musical and fun. It wasn’t what Keith was expecting but absolutely should have been. This is the first time he’s heard it and absolutely the first time it’s been directed anywhere near him. He snaps his toolbox shut and edges around his table to make his way across the aisle.

“What’s…up?” Jesus Christ, is Keith an actual dumbass?

“Uh…” Keith has no idea what the fuck is going on right now and he knows that his eyebrows are furrowed in a way that always makes Shiro laugh, but he can’t help it. What is happening.

Oh, okay. Yeah, Keith wants something. He’s been inadvertently staring at all of this stuff for the last month.

“Yes, please.” Has he never spoken to another human being in his entire life? Clearly not.

“Oh sweet, awesome. Cool cool cool. Take whatever! Do you like really sweet things? You don’t really seem like you do, but obviously that’s a totally unfounded assumption, so some of the less sweet stuff would be our pain au raisin, maybe a muffin, or a cream cheese danish!” Bakery Guy’s eyes are so fucking blue up close that Keith is pretty sure he’s going to close his own eyes tonight and see this color reflected on his eyelids when he goes to sleep.

“Um, a cream cheese danish…sounds good?”

Before he’s even finished, Bakery Guy is darting forward and closing Keith’s hands around an already plastic packaged danish. His hands are soft as fuck and Keith is going to drop dead.

“I’ll keep that in mind! I almost always try and go around before everybody leaves, but I don’t always get to it. Plus, you seem to leave pretty early and I’ve never been able to catch you before you’ve packed up.” The look Bakery Guy sends him makes his heart stop, because it’s sweet and a little flirty and an admission that he’s been watching Keith. Admitted like a secret that they both share.

His eyes scrunch up when he smiles, and Keith is composing sonnets in his head as he stares at this freckled son of bitch who’s wearing the biggest sun hat that Keith has literally ever seen. How is this his life?

“Well, thank you? I, uh, really appreciate a good danish. Also, what’s your name?” Keith has to struggle to get the words out of his mouth because he and this guy are still making really intense eye contact and his big ass hands are still curled around Keith’s, the danish sandwiched in the middle in a weird cradle.

Bakery Guy smiles even bigger and Keith literally has to shut his eyes in the face of that solar power.

“Oh shit, I totally forgot we’ve never been introduced! The name’s Lance! And you are?”

Does he have a name? Is he anything but an entity-less soul bouncing around in the ether? What the hell is going on here? Why are they still holding hands?

“Keith.” It’s literally the only thing he can say. At least he remembered his own name.

Lance is opening his mouth to start speaking again when someone reappears back beneath the tent of their stall.

“Are you done packing up yet?” comes from the other tall beautiful person that Keith has seen behind the table of the bakery stall. She’s tall and posh-sounding and also probably the third most good-looking person Keith has ever had the misfortune of standing next to, behind both Shiro and Lance.

She touches Lance on his shoulder lightly as she says it and in a way that suggests familiarity before she turns around to do something or other with the plastic wrapped brownies.

Lance and Keith both jump, and their hands immediately fall to their sides. Keith has to flex both of his hands to rid the sensation of Lance cradling them from his skin.

Great. Back on his Mr. Darcy bullshit. He has got to protest harder when Adam and Shiro binge watch period dramas.

Keith’s jams his hands into his pockets and Lance’s fall to rest on the assorted jumble of pastries.

“Almost done, ‘Lura.” He sends a little smile back her way and it’s so sweet and small that Keith can hear his own heartbeat echoing in his head.

Well, fuck. Maybe this incredibly good-looking tall person is dating the other incredibly good-looking tall person in front of him?

The thought almost strikes him dead. He knows next to nothing about Lance or this other ethereal person whose platinum hair seems to be reflecting the sunlight and fucking blinding him. What if they’re dating, oh god, or worse, what if they’re married? And Keith has been pining away uselessly from his Knife Hut for the last month over a married man?

Jesus H. Christ. They probably have kids. Beautiful brown children running around that are adorable and perfect in every way. They probably own the bakery together. Hell, and here Keith was mentally preparing to be a homewrecker.

Holy shit, death is the only option here. He may be getting ahead of himself, but the ball is already rolling and there’s no going back.

They’re all just kind of standing there looking at each other and the Kill Bill sirens are sounding in Keith’s head, but he doesn’t move to do anything.

Thankfully, Lance smiles his way again and snags another danish from his pile, handing it to Keith delicately.

“Here’s another for the road. I’ll see you on Saturday, yeah?”

All Keith can do is nod like a fucking bobble head and return the little wave Lance gives him before he about faces. As he’s hopping into his truck, he glances in his rear-view mirror to see the two bakery workers packing up all their things and laughing together. Probably talking about something cute that their two-year-old did last night. Dear lord.

Yep, the only solution here is death.

Friday night, Lance is so keyed up to get to the market that he’s practically vibrating. He succeeded in actually speaking to Knife Guy on Thursday, who he now knows is named Keith. Which is cute. Kind of dweeby and not entirely fitting, but still cute.

He also now knows that Keith is a little socially awkward but not in an unbearable way. In a way that Lance knows how to navigate, usually by asking specific questions and kind of talking a lot like he does anyway.

So, moral of the story, he’s hype to get back to the market to maybe actually talk to Keith a little bit more rather than just making fucking googly eyes at each other from across the aisle like they’ve been doing for the last four weeks.

But when Saturday morning arrives, he’s forgotten that Allura took the day off and is dismayed to realize that he’ll be running the entire stall by himself.

Packaging everything, packing everything into the van, unpacking everything, and then dealing with the weird old dudes and condescending soccer moms all day. By himself. He’s sufficiently less hype by the time he actually gets to the market at quarter to six.

Keith is in his Knife Hut, which makes Lance laugh a little every time he thinks about it, already unpacked and set up for the day. He’s fucking around with something on his phone and rubbing a chunk of his long hair between his thumb and pointer finger.

Lance kind of desperately wants to run his fingers through that hair. But first, he has to get through the day. Then he has to actually talk to Keith again. Then they have to fall in love. There’s a process to these things, you see.

And with that, he begins the arduous exercise of unpacking the van. Usually it’s not that big of a struggle, they’ve got about fifteen plastic pallets with all of their product in with weird little handles that he’s able to stack behind their tables but it’s a lot more work without Allura here to toss things around with her stupid buff arms.

He’s going to be late setting up, which flusters him, because then all the fucking early ass old people will bitch about how he’s not set up, which will prevent him even farther from being set up. Endless cycle of not being set up until like an hour in when he’s all good.

The days that Allura’s gone are the worst, but his ma is right to give her them off. She deserves a break once in a while. She’s a great general manager and helps out a whole lot when she doesn’t even really have to, so Lance doesn’t begrudge her her days off.

He might die today though.

Hefting huge trays of bread and pastries out of the van is kind of a bitch and he’s hyper focused on doing it as fast as he can without hurting himself, which is why he’s truly startled when someone clears their throat behind him.

It’s Knife Guy. Er, Keith. And he’s standing there in his brown work jacket layered over a maroon and gold plaid flannel that really brings out the grey of his eyes. He looks kind of...off balance and Lance sort of wants to kiss his face a little.

“Do you, uh, need some help?” Lance has been pleasantly surprised when he hears the raspy quality to Keith’s voice all like, four times he’s heard Keith speak.

Lance casts a quick look toward the empty Knife Hut, but nobody is really around yet and it’s safe to assume that Keith had been watching him flap around frantically for the last thirty minutes.

“If you’re offering? Absolutely.”

He gives Keith a few pointers on the easiest way to maneuver the unwieldy bakery trays and they make quick work of stacking them all up behind the tables. When he tosses the table cloths to Keith, they make even quicker work spreading them over the tables, making beautifully uncomfortable eye contact, so Lance can start placing all of the stuff he has today out.

They work in silence for a while, Keith handing him things and Lance setting them all up in the specific way he likes. After he gets everything set up, he’ll have to put all the little labels and signs out, but he’s feeling way better now that everything is at least out of the van. Thank god for Keith.

“So, uh...where’s your wife?”

When Lance glances over at him to see if it was really, truly Lance he was speaking to, Keith won’t look at him. Just keeps making laser eyes at a loaf of wheat bread he’s fondling.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Keith shifts uncomfortably, and Lance tracks his movements.

“Your, uh, wife?”

“Who?”

“The lady from Thursday? The one that’s normally here with you. The white-haired good looking one?”

Lance can feel his eyes practically bug out of his head as Keith trails off quietly. He glances around the market to make sure he’s not like...being Punk’d or something. What in the fuck.

“You mean Allura? British accent? Built like an actual goddess? Able to handle the most passive aggressive of patrons with a sense of poise and rationality?” Lance cannot fucking believe this. He wants to laugh in disbelief, but doubts that would go over well with Keith.

The group chat is going to blow up when he relays this information.

When Keith finally chances a quick look up at him, he looks brutally uncomfortable. Red dusts the tops of his cheeks and ears and he’s twisting the wrapper of yet another loaf of bread around his fingers so tightly that it’s turning his fingertips purple.

Lance reaches out to grab the loaf from him and their fingers touch. He smiles at the jolt it sends through them both.

“She’s not my wife, dude. She’s a lesbian, first of all. And she’s the general manager of my mom’s bakery. I wouldn’t even be allowed to look at her if my mom thought I was trying to get with her.”

He can visibly see the distress disappear from Keith, the tight way he was holding his shoulders all but melts out of him and the only thing Lance can do is smile like a dumbass until they make eye contact again.

“Was that a Panic! at The Disco lyric?” is the only thing Keith says back to him, his mouth curving up into a crooked smile.

“Shut up. Let’s finish setting up so I can set you free to sharpen knives, you little weirdo.”

After that morning and the wildly uncomfortable clarification that followed, Keith comes over to the bakery stall to help set up most days. Even if Allura is there.

Lance is a just and fair motherfucker, so he makes Allura, Hunk, and Pidge promise to not bring up the wife thing until Keith is actually like, cool with them. As to not embarrass him and ruin Lance’s chances of kissing his stupid face, mostly.

He gets along well with Allura, which is nice because Lance doesn’t fuck with people who don’t get along with Allura. They talk about shit that Lance doesn’t really care about, like, old books and Downton Abbey and Jane Austen or whatever the fuck and they have pointless, winding arguments about the architecture of the market.

Keith is a little quiet, like Shiro had said, but still funny and easy to get along with. He makes a lot of small pointed comments that have Allura and Lance cracking up, especially when they’re about some of the patrons they have.

He spends fifteen minutes one day ranting about a woman who wanted her blender blades sharpened. Which, Keith maintains, would have been fine, if the blender blades actually detached from her shitty old ass blender. He’d had to explicitly detail why he couldn’t sharpen the blades in the blender if the blades were still in the blender to this woman for upwards of twenty minutes and he’d come over to the bakery stall after she’d left red in the face.

At the end of market days, Lance usually moseys on over with leftover pastries and bread for him, now that he knows that Keith has a secret spot in his heart for the energy bars that the bakery makes. The smiles he gives Lance are enough to make the entire day and all the bullshit that comes with it worth it.

It takes a little bit of persuasion on Lance’s end to get Hunk to agree to actually talk to Keith. He spends a lot of time at his moms’ stall but always seems to vanish whenever Keith shows up in the morning to help Lance and Allura unpack. Probably because he still thought Keith was going to mcmurder them all.

“Did you really think I was a serial killer?” Keith is pouting a little at Hunk, who looks horribly offended that Lance just threw him under the bus like that.

They cluster in little groups at one person’s stall depending on the time and the day and right now Lance and Hunk are loitering in front of Keith’s Knife Hut while Allura mans the bakery stall. There aren’t that many people here yet so nobody feels that bad about abandoning work to troll the other vendors’ stalls.

Hunk is weak in the face of Keith’s naturally occurring puppy dog eyes and is actively trying to backtrack, “No, dude, no, of course not. I didn’t really think that. I was just, well, ya know…concerned.”

“You don’t think that now though, right?”

Lance can’t help it when he taps the knife that Keith has just sharpened and set down beside one of his grinders, “You better not think that still, because if Keith knew that you convinced everyone he was a serial killer when he first started here, that could be a pretty good motivator for him to actually start killing.”

This causes Hunk to flap his arms a little bit and whine, “It was just the truck, alright? It gives off really intense murder vibes.”

Keith is starting to look actually affronted, pressing his hand to his chest like one of the Victorian women he and Allura always go on about. It makes Lance outwardly laugh, he can’t help it.

“What’s wrong with my truck? I love that truck.”

“Dude, are you fucking me? It’s weird and old and makes creepy noises and is not one, but two, horrible colors.”

“So what? I’ve had it forever and I love it. It’s not weird.”

“Whatever man, it’s weird.”

It’s fun, being friends with Keith, even if had taken a while. He drifts between them like a satellite, coming to talk with Lance and Allura and then down to Hunk’s moms’ stall to talk in depth about foraging for mushrooms, and over to Pidge’s parents’ stall to talk about bees and honey.

They tease him a lot, especially Hunk and Pidge, because he gets along really well with their moms. Shiro eventually gets wind of it and gives him mad shit for befriending all the older women at the market, including Miss Kelly and Auntie Shirogane. Apparently, it’s always been kind of a thing. Shiro’s mom loves Keith too.

For two market days, everyone makes wildly pointed jokes about Keith attracting cougars and being into older women until he loses his shit and practically shouts “I’m gay!” in the middle of yet another conversation about it, making a few of the market patrons stop and look at him.

He looks embarrassed for a few seconds after until he powers through and continues with, “So, no, I’m not a cougar hunter. Excuse me for getting along really well with older women. It’s more than I can say for the rest of you.”

And that’s that.

Except that it isn’t.

Because hearing that proclamation makes the warmth swirl around low in Lance’s stomach again and he’s reminded just how strongly he wants to kiss Keith’s stupid, red face.

Lance and Hunk hang out a decent amount when they aren’t at the market, perks of being best bros obviously, and occasionally Pidge will come out as well. A lot of the time they just hang out at one of the bars downtown but sometimes they go out and do fun things, like movies and apple orchards and seasonal shit like that.

They’ve been trying to get Shiro to come for literal seasons to no avail, but Keith may be their in.

It’s Hunk who actually verbally suggests they invite Keith to go out with them after the market the upcoming Saturday, but Lance has been thinking about it for, well, weeks.

Lance doesn’t even have to Hunk to get behind the bakery table and keep things running before he’s already doing it, he heads over towards Keith’s stall with a skip in his step.

Before he even gets there, he’s smiling like a dumbass bastard, because Keith is wearing the ridiculous magnifying headset type thing that he sometimes wears. It has a light in it to help him see better and it also serves as one of the best things Lance has ever seen in his dumb life.

“Good looks out here, Knife Guy.”

Keith starts and bats the magnifying headband up from his line of vision and is starting to blush before he even realizes that it’s Lance who’s giving him shit.

“Oh, get fucked.” His words sound dismissive but he’s setting the pocket knife he was working on aside and turning off his grinders, smirking up at Lance from the chair that he now knows is horribly off balance.

Keith lets him sit in it sometimes, while he quietly explains the intricacies of knife sharpening to Lance from over his shoulder. He lets Lance sharpen things occasionally, hand over handing him along so he doesn’t do anything stupid. Lance…truly doesn’t give a shit about knives, but he gives a shit about Keith and what Keith gives a shit about, so he shuts up and listens and presses close when he’s allowed.

“I’d sure like to get fucked, but only if you come with me.” He’s saying it before he really has a chance to think it through and then he’s just committing, leaning into it. Full speed ahead, boys.

It’s stupidly obvious that he and Keith have a bit of a thing going on. They don’t talk about it or confront it, but it’s very obviously there. He’s just waiting to see which one of them breaks first and makes the initial move.

He’s pretty sure the rest of them have bets on when it’ll happen but he doesn’t want to know any of proposals for fear of swaying a certain way. He wants this to happen naturally.

Keith is bright red and rolling his eyes so far back into his head that Lance is concerned that it hurts, but that’s all he does.

They watch each other for a few seconds before Keith uses the pocket knife to kind of make a “well, what do you want?” type of gesture at Lance. It’s kind of hot.

“Come out with us tonight.” It comes out softer than he intends, more of a request than the command he means for it to be and he leans up against the brick pillar to look down at Keith. It doesn’t feel like a power move, things feel perfectly balanced and Lance is caught in the intensity of Keith’s half lidded gaze.

“Where ya goin’?” The more comfortable Lance gets against the pillar, the farther down Keith slouches in his chair. His legs are spread wide and he looks comfortable and relaxed and just a little bit challenging and Lance wants to crawl in his fucking lap and cuddle up. This is absolute bullshit.

“Probably just Ryner’s. We usually go after the market and she lets us chill because we bring her free shit.” Please say yes, Lance is viciously wishing, chanting over and over in his head. Come hang out with us, you big idiot. Let me buy you a beer, let me see what you’re like when you aren’t at the market.

“Alright, I’ll be there.” Keith’s smiling up at him and Lance feels like his knees are going to give out and he’s going to collapse on the cement floor in a gooey, love struck pile.

It becomes a thing. Because of course it does.

They go every weekend. Lance buys Keith a whole lot of beers.

As the season progresses and the weather gets colder at the end of September, Lance starts to bitch more about his wardrobe.

It makes Keith laugh, mostly because of the overalls and the fact that Lance refuses to stop wearing them and also refuses to wear anything resembling socks. The big sun hat goes away for the season, unfortunately enough.

The plimsolls and the bare ankles stay, and Keith still can feel himself get pink when he thinks about how every part of Lance is nice. He’s a dumbass.

Their mornings stay dark and cold and Keith always brings as many layers as he can because he can’t sharpen knives if his fingers don’t work.

It’s six am one morning when Keith wanders over to the bakery stall after setting up all of his own stuff to see Lance shivering aggressively in only a zip up. He says nothing at first, but he takes note that Lance still seems cold after all of the manual labor of unpacking the van.

“I hate this stupid state. Why don’t we live somewhere where it’s eternally warm?”

Hunk rolls his eyes at Lance saying the same thing he says every morning of the market at six am and snags an old-fashioned donut from the display.

“I can’t feel my fucking hands. Weather below 60 degrees is cancelled. Fall, whomst? I don’t know her.” As Lance continues loudly damning the weather, he sneaks up beside Keith and under his arm to snuggle into his body heat.

It’s not the first time they’ve touched this close, but it still feels like the first time. Keith can actively feel the heat rushing up his face as he lets Lance tuck his taller self up against him.

He’s about ready to offer Lance the work jacket off his back and just suffer through the chill in the air when his mind flashes a picture of yet another jacket tucked in the backseat of his pickup. He ducks out from Lance’s octopus limbs and throws a quick “I’ll be right back.” to Allura, Hunk, and Lance.

As he’s shuffling past his own stall, he can hear Hunk crow “Look what you did!” and Lance squawk in offense. He smiles and ignores it, jogging to the parking lot to rummage around in his truck.

By the time he’s back, Lance and Hunk appear to be trying to put each other in headlocks and barely notice when Keith sticks his arm out and taps Lance with the hand the jacket is in.

“Here. Wear this.”

Lance is big eyed and silent as he glances over at Keith and it makes him resolutely look the other way to prevent a full-bodied blush from taking over. He doesn’t have time for this.

He doesn’t glance back over at Lance and Hunk until Lance has pushed his arms into both sleeves of the leather jacket and tugged it on. It looks kind of dumb, because Lance’s limbs are a lot longer than Keith’s, but his hoodie is long enough to cover his wrists and it’s warmer than nothing.

It causes something warm to unfurl in his chest and he can’t help but smile at Lance’s slightly reddened cheeks. He wants to do shit like this always.

Allura is looking on with an absolutely unimpressed expression and she turns to Hunk with an elbow to his solar plexus.

“Hunk, I’m cold as well. Where is your convenient leather jacket that you can give to me for the day?”

“Damn Allura, I can’t control the weather. Get off me.”

They’re so clearly making fun of Keith, but he barely even feels it, he’s too busy watching Lance’s dumbstruck face.

He feels tingly and alive and he’s so glad that he works at this stupid farmers market and that these are his stupid friends. He pushes his shoulder up against Lance’s and they spend a few seconds suspended in each other’s smiles and it’s, on god, one of the dumbest things that’s ever happened to him and Keith loves it.

Weeks pass like this, the four or five or six of them, depending on Shiro’s level of bullshittery that day, fucking around on market days and giving Coran grey hair and exchanging their wares for promises of beer on the weekends.

Keith learns that he actually really likes Pidge and that she actually really likes bees. Her parents are apiarists who do weird, complicated scientific research with bees which resulted in a farmers market stand and copious amounts of different flavored honey.

He goes over to her house one afternoon after the market closes to see her parents’ colonies and it’s one of the coolest things he’s ever witnessed. It feels like some sort of weird fantasy movie where he’s able to talk to bees and they don’t sting him, because the honey bees as Pidge says, are docile and sweet and only sting as the last resort.

Hunk’s moms take him out to forage for mushrooms with their special Italian mushroom dogs and Keith gets dirty and grimy and laughs more in one afternoon than he has in ages. He comes home with a little brown paper sack of some of the best mushrooms he’s ever had.

The five of them spend slow and lazy autumn evenings tucked into a copse of trees on the Shirogane farm and it feels good. Good in a way that Keith didn’t even know he was missing before this.

They meet Allura’s new girlfriend, a soft-spoken blonde named Romelle, who turns around and gives Lance a run for his money in terms of drinking him under the table. They love her.

He’s so pleased with how this random choice in his life turned out. He really does owe Shiro a thank you.

He’ll get around to it.

One crisp afternoon in the beginning of October, Lance invites him, just him, over to the bakery for a cookie making demonstration from Lance’s very own mother.

She’s sweet and shorter than Keith but takes up a perfectly appropriate amount of space in every room and Keith might be a little bit in love with her too. He’s forced into a dorky apron with the bakery logo on it and it makes Lance laugh so hard that he sprays flour everywhere with the force of it and Keith feels like he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be.

His ma, Lance explains to him after she heads to the front to work the register, started the bakery ten years ago on a whim. She didn’t know if it would work but it was something she had thought about for years and her culinary and baking background was sufficient enough to get it up off the ground.

“I love it here, and I love her, and I love that this is what she loves to do,” Lance is telling him as he frosts little cookies with a pastry bag with such concentration that it takes Keith’s breath away.

“Do you see yourself doing anything else?” Keith is hesitant to ask, but he’s also genuinely curious. His eyes keep catching on the flour that’s dusting over Lance’s freckles. He wants to reach out and brush it off, mostly for an excuse to feel Lance’s face, but he focuses back on poorly decorating his own cookie.

“I can see myself doing a lot of other things, but I’m not sure if I’d like anything as much as this, ya know?”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Ma will get, I don’t know, probably fifteen more years out of the bakery if she chooses to, and I think after that she’ll pass it along to me. I hope so, at least. My other siblings have all either moved out of town or aren’t interested in the bakery.” Lance glances up at him as he says it, a sweet little smile on his lips.

“Plus, the market part is one of my favorite things in the entire world. I like being there and I like the vibe and Coran giving me shit. I more or less run that entire part of the bakery and it’s a responsibility that I didn’t even know I was going to like so much.”

Keith is diligently trying to pipe icing out in the way that Lance’s mom showed him earlier when Lance bumps his hip into Keith’s to get him out of the way. He takes over and Keith just lets him, watching his long-fingered hands.

“Like, having regulars is one of the coolest things to me. I know these people and I know what they like and I can have their orders ready before they even tell me what they want. It’s rewarding in a way a lot of other things aren’t, ya know?” Lance is so close to him now and looking at him while piping at the same time and the knowledge that he’s choosing to share this with Keith, here, in this space, makes him warm from the crown of his head down to his toes in his boots.

“Mm, I get that. It’s not quite the same for me, but I definitely understand the familial ties to a specific craft.” Keith doesn’t really say much more than that, doesn’t want to bring the mood down out of his own volition.

“Yeah?” And Lance stops what he’s doing entirely, focuses his huge luminescent anime eyes on Keith and he just crumbles. Whatever normally stops him from talking about this part of his life kind of gives way in the face of how interested and genuine Lance seems to be.

So, Keith talks.

“My dad, he, uh, passed a way a few years ago. Around five or so now? I was young when it happened, about eighteen. So, it wasn’t the worst thing that could have happen, I could have been younger, but it wasn’t easy either.” He searches about for something to do with his hands so he’s not just standing here monologuing to a boy he likes about his dead father.

Finally, he spots a dish rag and sets about cleaning the gleaming chrome countertops of Lance’s mother’s kitchen.

“I don’t know how the hell he even got started sharpening things, but he’d done it for as long as I’d been alive. He had all of the tools and stuff, everything I have now is actually his. And when he died, I just had a surplus of what felt like useless knowledge about knives and tools and shit. And basically all the paraphernalia.”

Lance is still watching him as he turns lazy circles around the island that they’re working at. It doesn’t feel heavy or like Lance is making him speak, he just keeps looking.

“I had dropped out of college about a year after he died because I’d lost essentially the only structure I’d ever had and just kind of floated for a bit. I realized, eventually and only because one of my dad’s old restaurant contacts called looking to set him up with a new client, that everyone my dad had been working for had nobody taking care of their stuff. So I figured, okay, might as well take up the mantle. Be the knife sharpener I wanted to see in the world.”

He looks up from sweeping flour into his hands to toss in the trash to see Lance smiling at him. It’s soft and sweet and makes Keith want to kiss it off him.

“I like it a lot, though. More than I ever thought I would. It’s nice being able to do something with my hands. And now I’m here. Well, not physically here, but like…at the market. So, I figure it was worth it.” Keith should be legally required not to speak anymore.

“Thanks for sharing that with me, Keith.”

Normally something like that feels weird and forced and clichéd, but yet again, Lance just seems truly genuine to the point where Keith can’t look at him anymore.

“Uh, yeah, of course. Thanks for making me feel like I could.”

The market feels comfortable to Keith in a way that he never thought that it would.

He knows most of the vendors, by sight if not by name. He’s, by law, allowed to give Coran mad shit about just about anything.

When his grinders make horrific squealing noises during a particularly tricky knife sharpening, all of the other vendors ignore it while the patrons all act like he’s murdering someone in real time. At first Keith adamantly apologized to anyone who was around when it happened, now he just lets it go.

Sometimes people hover behind him and watch him sharpen like they’ve never seen a dude with a knife before. At first it made him tense, made him feel like he was being judged. But he realized after a while that people are just interested in something that doesn’t get done often enough.

And kids love to watch. They’ll stand beside him for the entire time it takes their parents to make a round of the market. Sometimes he lets them sit next to him and watch, answers their poorly phrased questions and let’s them look at his tools. He loves that it makes Lance blush from across the aisle.

He talks more in the last few months than he’s talked in the last six years. Mostly explanations for what he’s doing and why. He gets to talk about something he’s really passionate about to people who are occasionally equally as passionate three days a week.

If he looks up, about three quarters of the time he’ll catch Lance’s eye and they’ll smile at each other in a way that Pidge says should precede the chorus of a boyband’s Top 40 single.

It’s around this time in late October that Keith realizes that the season is ending soon. The market won’t be open after the first weekend in November.

He, predictably, freaks the fuck out.

How is he going to see Lance? And Hunk and Allura and Pidge? The main reason he sees them so much now is work and the odds that they’ll want to hang out with him when they don’t see him three times a week is slim.

What in the hell is he going to do?

A full two days between Tuesday and Thursday are spent going balls to the wall crazy with anxiety, but Keith can’t help it. He doesn’t want to lose this new-found friend group and go back to only watching Downton Abbey with Shiro and Adam on the weekends. He may not survive.

He can feel how weird he’s being when he gets to the market on Saturday and Lance picks up on it almost immediately.

Keith is so freaked out that he dumps the entirety of his toolbox on the floor when Lance pops into existence next to his table about half an hour before the market opens.

“Keith, dude, are you alright?” Lance’s eyebrows are well up his forehead and it makes Keith’s face flush so red he feels fluorescent.

“What. Yep, totally fine. So good. Just great. Thank you for asking.”

“That was like, five different responses. What’s going on?” Before Keith can come up with another evasion, Lance is reaching out and lightly touching his shoulder and it stops Keith in his anxiety driven tracks.

He must see the look on Keith’s face because before he really registers what’s happening, Lance is tugging him up out of his folding chair and ushering him into the weird little overhang that the market bathrooms are in.

“Keith, did something happen? Do you need help with something?” Lance’s brows are furrowed and his mouth is turned down in a frown and Keith wants to kiss him so badly he can barely think straight.

Both of his big hands are pressed firmly to Keith’s shoulders, which shouldn’t be as comforting as it is. They’re so warm that it feels like palm prints of sun. One leaves his shoulder to nudge Keith’s chin up so Lance can meaningfully meet his eyes.

Before Lance can start up again, Keith is blurting, “Does the bakery have knives I can sharpen? Like, when the market season ends?”

He feels like an actual dumbass as soon as the words fall out of his mouth. It’s a fabulous summation of every thought he’s had over the last two days, purely distilled anxious worry.

Lance tilts his head to one side in a way that’s so reminiscent of a Golden Retriever that Keith has to stop breathing in order to not kiss him. They’re so close that all Keith would have to do is lean in just a little bit. But that’s an entirely different thing to panic and obsess over than what’s happening right now.

“I mean, yeah. I guess. Why does that matter right now, though?” Lance is so clearly trying to think through the connection of his weird knives question and why he seems so weird and anxious about the market ending.

“Are you guys still going to hang out with me when the market ends?”

In between this thought and the next, Lance is lunging forward and wrapping his arms around Keith so tight that he can barely breathe. He’s a couple inches taller than Keith, so his head fits perfectly in the crook of Lance’s neck. It’s so comforting that it has him reeling, especially when Lance’s hands rub up and down the expanse of his back.

“Dude, are you kidding me? You aren’t going anywhere.” It’s said into Keith’s hair, so it’s kind of muffled.

“We aren’t going anywhere either. You’re in our group chat. This is a solid and unbreakable market bond, Keith. We’re ride or die now.”

It settles something that was swirling inside Keith almost instantly, hearing it from Lance’s mouth.

Lance pulls back to look at him and reaches out to tuck a piece of Keith’s unruly hair back behind his ear. It makes his breath catch in a way that he’s almost immediately annoyed by.

“Seriously, don’t worry. We aren’t letting you go.” It’s so soft, the way Lance says it, that Keith has to surge back up onto his toes and hug him again. He lets Lance press him back into the brick wall and relishes the feeling of the soft hair at the back of Lance’s neck and the uneven press of their chests when they breathe.

Instead of acknowledging this comfort like a regular person, all Keith can think about is when he’s going to see Lance like this next.

“Do you, uh, want to come over later? Like…to my apartment?”

Lance pulls back and smiles bright, it’s teasing and stupid and Keith has to thunk his head back against the brick wall in the face of it.

“Aw Keith, you just want to get me alone, don't ya? Get me to your creepy murder house so you can kill me?”

Keith shoves past him with a reluctant smile and heads back to his stall, ignoring Lance’s shout of “See you later tonight so you can kill me in the privacy of your own home, bud!”

Lance, admittedly, is a little worried about what Keith’s apartment is going to look like. Mostly curious, but a little worried.

From what he knows about Keith, there’s a lot of plaid and leather and knives and not much else on the wardrobe front. Keith acts like nobody can see the literal knife sheath that he has strapped to his belt, but everybody knows it’s there.

He follows behind Keith’s rumbly truck after the market closes to a sweet little brick apartment building above a pharmacy on a not-so-busy street downtown.

Keith is out and heading towards the door before Lance even has a chance to park, so he’s frantically catching up as Keith unlocks the door, running into his back and looping his arms around his waist in a way he’s trying to convince himself is friendly but ultimately misses the mark just a bit.

He’s led up a few flights of stairs into a brightly lit and open living room and it’s safe to say he’s pleasantly surprised.

There’s a lot of exposed brick and a few big windows and a decent amount of slightly weird but homey touches. Keith has an entire row of plants lined up along the top of a jam-packed bookshelf, which Lance inherently knows is filled with a weird mix of sci-fi, romance, and Austen and the Bronte sisters.

Keith bumbles into the kitchen after dropping off his market supplies in a chair by his dining room table, mumbling something about tea and giving Lance free reign of his living room.

Another book shelf has a line of knick-knacks and tchotchkes, mostly small animal figurines and little bowls filled with miscellaneous items like mismatching buttons and single screws. On his coffee table rests a few good smelling candles and a red lighthouse miniature that flickers with warm light when Lance clicks the switch. It’s sweet and so unassumingly Keith that Lance almost can’t breathe around it.

He puts his hands on his hips and stands in the middle of the room, turning so he can get a good feel for it and also so he can catch all of the paintings and posters on the wall in one go.

There’s an artisanal lunar calendar that looks like it may have been made by one of the artists at the market on one wall and vintage Star Trek posters that make Lance smile.

“Is this a Pride and Prejudice movie poster?”

Keith pokes his head around the entryway of the kitchen and glowers at him.

“Fuck off, it’s the 2005 version and it holds a very special place in my heart. Don’t talk shit or Allura will know and kill you.”

Lance has to stifle a snicker and throws himself back on the couch, ghosting his fingers along a throw blanket that he can tell has been hand knit.

“Hey,” he calls out in the vague direction of the kitchen, “who made this blanket?”

With two mugs of tea in hand, Keith emerges from his kitchen and takes a seat next to Lance. He folds his legs beneath him and hands one mug off to Lance.

“Oh, my mom did? A long time ago. I think when she was pregnant with me.” Lance leans into him a little bit, because they’re alone and just because he can. The mug he has is a reproduction of a summery looking landscape from the National Gallery of Art. He wants to know everything about Keith ever.

A vaguely committal noise is all it takes for Keith to keep talking.

“She’s traveling abroad right now for a few months. Her and my dad were like, stupidly in love even though she didn’t always live with us and she spent a few years feeling like she had to be here for me until I convinced her that she just…needed to go somewhere else for a while. I think she’s in Germany right now?”

“That’s cool as hell.” Lance chances a light brush of his fingertips against the back of Keith’s hand and is unmeasurably pleased when Keith twists his palm around and twines their fingers together. He doesn’t even have to look at Keith to know that he’s flushed red as hell.

“Yeah. Uh, you wanna watch something? I have the old BBC Pride and Prejudice on Amazon Prime. I know your uncultured ass hasn’t seen it.”

“Probably because it’s fucking old, dude.”

Lance begrudgingly agrees simply because he knows that Keith will mouth along to the proposal scene. He’s rewarded pleasantly when Keith doesn’t let his hand go for the entirety of the first few episodes.

It’s a different night later in the week but Lance and Keith are in the same position on the same couch. This time, they get Indian take out and burrito themselves in blankets and drink probably just a little bit too much of the mulled wine they got at one of the stalls before they left the market.

The twilight settles over them like another blanket and no one bothers to turn on a light after the sun slips under the horizon.

They’re both leaned back against the couch, looking at each other and not really moving. It’s soft and comforting and sweet in a way Lance isn’t always sure he deserves.

The last day of the market is next week and he’s pleased to say that Keith only seems sad in the expected way, not the I’m Going to Lose All My Friends kind of way that he was earlier in the week. They already have plans to go to the Shirogane farm next weekend to pick and carve pumpkins and have Auntie Shirogane make them too much pie.

“My dad and I used to live in this apartment when I was younger.” They’re talking slow, sharing bittersweet things between them in the same way they keep passing the mulled wine bottle back and forth.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. We moved to a different house a few years before he died but he kept this apartment. I think because he knew I liked it so much.”

“It’s a good place. It feels like you.” Lance barely knows what that means, but he knows it’s true as soon as he says it.

“I forgot about it for a while but once I left school, I came back here. It feels like his, but in an echoey kind of way, where sometimes I see something that was so clearly belonged to him that I have to stop and breathe. But It feels like mine, too. So much of my shit is here, stuff that he wasn’t ever around to see but I’m pretty sure he’d like. It’s nice.” Keith’s voice is soft and quiet, like he’s just a few more minutes off from falling asleep.

The vulnerability of it makes Lance ache. He drags his fingers through Keith’s thick hair and leans over to press a quick kiss to the crown of his head.

“I’m glad you’re here to see it.” Keith says it quietly, but Lance still hears.

“I am too. Thanks for letting me be here with you.”

They sit there like that for a while and time passes strangely, thick and syrupy and good.

Lance is just about to drift off to sleep when Keith sits up slow and tangles their fingers together.

“Come to bed with me.”

He goes.

They fall asleep curled around each other like parentheses in Keith’s bed with his handmade quilts and in the morning, Lance wakes up to the sweetest blush on Keith’s face.

It feels like the best thing in a long time.

As expected, they’re too loud and stupid and rowdy at the Shirogane farm the next weekend. They’re not even drunk yet and Lance is atop Hunk’s shoulders and commanding him around the pumpkin patch like he’s a horse. He doesn't know why Hunk puts up with it.

It makes Keith roll his eyes but he’s not going to pretend he doesn’t love it. Adam and Shiro keep pointing out the ugliest pumpkins and loudly declaring “that’s you” like middle schoolers.

Auntie Shirogane is sitting on the back porch watching them all wild out and it feels right in a way that pulses out of Keith’s chest.

Romelle, Pidge, and Allura are taking the quest of finding the perfect pumpkin way too seriously and he’s pretty sure Pidge is incessantly chattering about the mathematical way to find the perfect pumpkin that doesn’t seem like it’s a real thing.

They carve pumpkins on the back porch and get the slimy innards everywhere and Auntie Shirogane serves them blisteringly hot apple and pumpkin pie. Hunk forces everyone to watch It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown even though Halloween was last week.

It’s good, it’s so good and Keith gets to sit on the couch sardined in between all of these people that he loves and just radiate with how good it feels.

During what Keith now knows from Lance is "golden hour," he feels a light tap on his shoulder and a hand thread through his. He glances to the side and predictably, it’s Lance, a grin cut across his face that’s so bright Keith has to shut his eyes a little bit. He wonders if it will always be like this. He’d like to think that it will.

“Come with me, I have to show you something,” Lance all but whispers to him, excited and tugging him up from the couch. Everybody is doing their own thing, so no one really notices when they slip out of the living room onto the back porch.

“Come on, pick up the pace, Lil Knifey, let’s go.”

“Do not under any circumstances call me that ever again.”

He drags Keith bodily up the hill that bumps against the back of the pumpkin patch. He’s drenched in gold and it makes his hair shine coppery and his eyes look almost see through when he glances back to make sure that Keith is still attached to him.

“What are we even up here for?” Keith finally asks when they crest the hill. There’s a little red barn on the top of the hill that he casts a glance at before Lance is pulling them behind it, facing the setting sun.

“Look,” is all Lance says as he sweeps his hand over the vegetable fields that the Shirogane house is nested between. There’s a thick forest that surrounds the far ends of the fields and the setting sun makes the fall colors of the trees look like flames.

It’s beautiful in a very quotidian way and Keith belatedly thinks that he loves it, thinks that he may love Lance too, for bringing him up here.

Lance turns towards him and his eyes are shining and he’s smiling just as bright as the fiery trees, “I just wanted you to see this. It’s my favorite part of fall and I wanted you to know.” Keith is so fucking stupid for him.

He can only nod and reach out to tangle their fingers together, tugging Lance closer to him by the arm.

With a slight shuffle, Lance disengages from Keith’s clinging and wraps his arm around Keith’s shoulders, bringing him close. He presses a light kiss to Keith’s temple and all Keith wants to do is seal his mouth to Lance’s.

They stand there while the sun begins to drop below the horizon until Lance gets restless. He abruptly pulls away from Keith and turns his whole body toward him.

“Okay, well, really quick, before we go back inside, I’m going to do something I’ve wanted to do pretty much since I met you. If you’re not down for it, just let me know, that’s totally fine. Totally good. Cool cool cool.”

“Just, here we go.”

And he presses his fingers so delicately to the side of Keith’s jaw and kisses him so sweetly that Keith is pretty sure that this is a vivid day dream that he fucking made up.

But it’s absolutely not, because Lance pulls back and gets a good look at Keith’s face and smiles so brightly that Keith just has to…kiss it off of him. It’s what he deserves, after five months of looking at his dumb happy face all the fucking time.

Lance backs him up against the rough wood of the little red barn and Keith belated sends a little thanks to whatever deity hooked him the fuck up when Lance presses his entire body against Keith’s.

Soft little open-mouthed kisses are being dropped along the side of his neck and his jawline and the only thing Keith can see is the very edge of the sun finally dropping below the horizon and he makes a noise that he is absolutely going to be embarrassed about later.

Lance’s mouth is so fucking soft and his big warm palms feel like brands against Keith’s slightly chilled skin and this is absolutely the best thing to have ever happened.

Between kisses pressed all over his face, Lance breathes out, “I’m so gone over you,” and Keith is pretty sure that all of the light from that sunset and the fiery trees is welling up inside of him and threatening to spill over.

He loops an arm around Lance’s neck and pulls him down to whisper “Me fucking too,” against his lips.

Things go wildly downhill from there, or uphill depending on which way you look at it. In a truly stunning turn of events, Lance is the one to reluctantly suggest they go back inside because it’s well and truly dark now. Keith has to unwrap his legs from around Lance’s waist after he’d been hoisted up and pressed back into the barn again. He’s fairly sure he has bits of wood all over the back of his jacket and a pretty vivid hickey on the soft spot just below his ear, but the look on Lance’s face and the wild state of his curly brown hair leaves him mostly unconcerned.

There’s a pointed chill in the air when they finally amble inside. Keith is normally a bit apprehensive about the winter, but he has a good feeling that he’ll be very warm this season.

When they get back inside and pointedly ignore all of the jeers from their friends and the money changing hands, Auntie Shirogane corners him in the kitchen.

She’s a slight woman, tiny but intense. She’s been in Keith’s life just as long as Shiro has and he has a fierce love for her that he doesn’t think will ever go away.

But it’s tested pretty thoroughly when she looks at him and smirks, “Glad whatever that boy did stopped your scowling. Your face is too handsome, I don’t want you to get wrinkles.”

Keith lets Lance drive him home and lead him up into his own apartment. Lets him press Keith up against the doorjamb of his bedroom, because, apparently, they’ve both got a thing for that. Lets him spoon up behind him when they finally get into bed and lets him steal all the covers, but only for a little bit until he kicks Lance awake and they kiss gently in the two am darkness.

And when he wakes up the next morning to see Lance looking at him through sleepy eyes, he blushes and doesn’t even feel bad, because Lance descends on him and kisses all over his face like an idiot.

And it’s good. It’s so good.

Thank god for Keith’s Knife Hut. He’s got to tell Shiro that.

He’ll do it tomorrow, for sure.

#rise and grind y'all lets get this schmoney #klance #klance fics #farmers market au #keith #lance #vld #voltron #voltron legendary defender #I went hard for like three days and ended up with this #they fall in love over a market season #they work at market stalls across from each other #and make mad fucking googly eyes for weeks #then kiss kiss fall in love #it's just...rly fucken soft y'all

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