#and yet she still got a better memorial than nat

[gaytiencemount]

If I had a nickel for every time my favourite character threw herself off a high ledge bc she decided she was the one who had to do it to save everyone I'd have two nickels which isn't much but it's weird it's happened twice

[romanoffsbish]

The One That (Almost) Got Away

Natasha Romanoff (Intersex) x ChubbyMilf!R

GN!OC (Ryan) x Fem!R (Freshly divorced)

Natasha’s not the step-dad, she’s merely the dad that stepped up | WC: 9,218

Warnings: Ryan is dickhead coded | R Ghosted Nat so she is too | Confusing Feelings | Insecurities all Around (Body / Worth) | Everyone’s Horny | Happiest of Endings Though 🥰

Smut: Natasha has a penis | Oral - Both | Multiple Positions (Wall / Doggy / Guided Dick-Riding) | Praising / Degrading | Dirty Talk | Face Slap (R) | Heavy on Breeding | KO (R) | Needy R -> Cockwarming | Switch Energy but R basically Bottoms

——

Natasha watched you intently, just like she always did, and just like every time before now she wasn't left disappointed. Well, besides that time when you married Ryan, you looked gorgeous stood up at that altar, but you were painfully mismatched. They were the first person you had ever dated, but you never truly loved them. You loved Natasha though, she knew that deep within her yearning soul, felt it deep in her bones, but alas you chose the stable familiarity over love.

Natasha told you every time you two had made love that she wanted the whole thing, but you were in a committed (open) relationship. You had a child with another, and you decided she (deserved better) wasn't ready for that sort of responsibility. So, for the both of your sakes you had stopped coming over a year ago, without a word of goodbye—like a coward.

It broke you just the same, but at least you had a distraction with your infant around. All Natasha had was the haunting memories of a genuine love and, dangerous missions, a nearly lethal combination. It was only last month that the redhead stopped being reckless, which coincidentally, is exactly when she had heard of your unexpected divorce proceedings.

Tony had very loudly, intent obvious, offered a sobbing you a spacious, well-equipped place to stay since Ryan decided to kick you out, of your house. He also got you a better divorce lawyer. When she pestered him for a why though he had refused, stating 'you'll know soon enough' in the most ominous, almost threatening, way.

The reactions to your tumultuous entanglement around the compound were mixed. Most thought you two were a great match, those who met Ryan felt this way, others felt Natasha could do better than the girl who left her hanging. Then there was Tony, who alone believed the both of you to be aloof little cowards.

Ergo his childish response. Yet here you were, at the compound she still lived in, and she still hadn't been informed... It was driving her crazy, but she kept her cool, or at least she tried to, but you made it hard.

So damn hard not to run over and yell at you, just to then kiss you breathless, then she figured she would yell at you some more; but with less clothes, and in a passionate reunification of two desperate souls.

But she stood stuck to her spot, wishing desperately that she had Wanda's handy ability to read minds...

You stood across the field in a moment of uneasy silence. Pepper had to leave in a hurry, Tony excused himself with a promise to return. So now, without distraction, you were left lost in tumultuous thought.

Ryan and you had called it quits just six months ago after you gave birth to your sweet little girl, Delilah. To the outside world they looked like a bad guy, but with one peak into the carseat hood that currently shielded your daughter from the sun, everyone would know.

Know that maybe everyone was a bit wrong here...

There was only one rule the both of you set, don't let anyone else create life with you, and with Natasha's enigmatic charm you broke it easily. Ryan was still somewhat involved with Carter, but they denounced you and Delilah instantaneously. You knew better to expect anything else, but you were too petrified of being alone with two littles to see it all clearly.

Fortunately though, Tony adored you and had set the three of you up in a cushy upscale home just outside of the bustling city. There was a park on the corner, it was your only safe haven as you waited for the divorce to finalize, it was where you processed your grief over the entire situation, and realized this was always the way life would work out. One day the redhead would be there with you, scooting down the wide, curvy red slide with Carter, and Delilah giggling in her lap.

It was an inevitability of the rawest proportions.

You couldn't stop loving Natasha if you tried, which you halfheartedly did, and she loved you without the intent to stop—fate finally felt the need to intervene.

You felt her burdened gaze the moment you entered the party, and you were burning under the weight of it. There was a blip of fear that she would never forgive you for keeping her daughter from her, but you also figured she'd understand. If you were going to work as a couple, it had to be without Ryan's interference, and they were hellbent on making sure you weren't happy even though they were with Rochelle, the supermodel.

If you so much as contacted Natasha they were ready to claim this was always your plan. Not that they'd have much of a leg to stand on, but you weren't risking them winning so much as partial custody, simply because it was just to spite you. Ryan never wanted to be hands on, it seemed they more so liked the title of being a parent and spouse, but never the actual role. If they had won you know your son would only suffer.

Disappointed was an understatement, but you didn't hold pity for yourself because everyone warned you of their immaturity from the jump. Natasha warned you everyday leading up to the wedding, she pleaded with a hurt that broke your heart wide open, yet you were stubborn, and now you are right where you deserve.

The fear of a harsh reaction held you back from approaching her, hearing an 'I told you so' or a 'what did you expect to happen?' wasn't exactly something you could handle. Even if it was what you deserved, so, you decided to leave it to her. You wanted to give her the chance to take the first step in case she was only seeking to scream at you for breaking her heart and never returning any of her calls or texts, and oh yeah, for the icing on the fucked up cake you'd baked you would have to add keeping her child from her.

Natasha couldn't focus on anything but you since you had arrived though, she actively willed you to look up at her, but she soon realized you were purposefully ignoring meeting her gaze. The ill advised thought that even when single that you wouldn't want her around broke her spirit down into nothingness.

Was she really not good enough for you?

Who was she kidding? Of course she wasn't... You were clean of a harsh origin, with a compassionate aura that bled right into your ability to be an amazing mother. Natasha wanted kids, yours specifically, but with her cold upbringing she feared she would never be what they would need, and in turn she would let you down.

Natasha didn't get to linger in her sadness for long before Maria was nudging her shoulder. "For fucks sake Romanoff, could you at least pretend to be interested in my plights?" She was reminded of the riveting conversation she'd been engaged in moments prior with a raging Maria and an instigating Wanda. Her silly relationship problems with Danvers no longer interested her when she was faced with her very own problems rooted in an extended period of longing.

Natasha rolled her eyes, and adjusted her pants to better conceal the hard on she was suddenly sporting. You just looked too good, motherhood had only ever enhanced your beauty, her purest desires for you only surplussed after your son's birth. It pained her so that you'd lived like your beauty was lost due to a miracle, and it was that night that she showed you otherwise.

The night she gave actual life to her love...

Ryan had made the first distasteful comment, it was why you were at the compound that day after all. Using the free gym six months out from your son's birth, which was fine, but you were indeed overdoing it since you had a bad back, and it was Nat who stopped you.

"Y/N, you need to take it easy, you like just had a baby," she'd tried to help, but you glared at her with angry tears in your eyes. "It's fine Nat, I need to do this. I am literally in terrible shape, I am so ug—," you'd muttered in obvious frustration, but she didn't dare let you finish your sentence. She took you right there on the mat, then again in the showers, and finally she took you to her bed and gave you all of her love.

That wasn't the start of your sinful relations, but it was the beginning of the deep lines officially blurring. Where the love the two of you felt for the other was finally released through breathy moans, soft kisses and the heat of the moment filling of your barren womb.

Every time you didn't see the beauty in your body she did, and she reminded you so well... It was not a shock to you when you saw the test; more like a total relief.

Natasha obviously knew something happened, it changed everything for her, because you and her best friend, Carter, were no longer coming around. The redhead actually sobbed on his first birthday, and she still has all the gifts she bought for him in her closet.

Wanda followed her best friend's gaze to you, and she smiled sadly. The witch was the first person you came crying to over the news, and it hurt her heart to keep this secret from Nat, but she knew that today was the day it all changed. You were going to make it all right.

Your divorce was finalized after Tony's lawyer put Ryan in their place. The open marriage was their choice, you had proof that they pushed you into agreeing, so the judge deemed your daughter's paternity a natural consequence. Now that they lost, they moved outside of city limits with their younger lover, and you contently remained in the upper-scale house, the one that didn't burden you with memories.

"Go talk to her Nat," Wanda encouraged, "Take the chance, I promise you it'll at least be cathartic."

Natasha sighed, "She's better off without me."

The redhead kicked up a cloud of dust as she sent one last longing glance your way. Her heart stuttered at the sight. You'd moved, this time her eyes found you leaning back against a table. A soft look in your eye as you watched your giggling son, Carter, clumsily chase Morgan around the field. It'd been awhile since you've been back here so you were involved in a conversation.

The grey sundress you wore was perfectly hugging your curves, and the skirt of it was flowing with the light breeze, giving her a glimpse of the silky skin of your legs beneath. It was tastefully cut, but it still allowed her to see the curve of your swollen, sagging breasts.

Natasha's eyes were focused in on the way you sucked on your popsicle though. Her cock twitched in her boxers as she saw you hollow out your cheeks, her dick longing for the oh so familiar feeling of the gesture. You mindlessly wiped away the sticky mess of artificial juices with your fingers, and her eyes were locked on them, you lifted them to your lips to suck off the sticky mess and it reminded her of that time she'd shoved hers, covered in your shared arousals, down your throat. It was the most intimate moment she'd ever shared with another, and that made her resolve fall.

The redhead couldn't stand any of it anymore, not the ache in her chest, nor her boxers, so she rushed inside the compound, ignoring the awkward stares. The door that slammed afterwards caught your attention.

Tony shoved your arm. "Go after her Y/N!"

You stared down at the stroller, admiring the peace your daughters sleeping face brought as your nervous fingers fidgeted with the strap of the diaper bag. You felt nothing but guilt after a moment though when her little eyes fluttered open to reveal a sea of familiar green. You began to wonder if Natasha would be better off without you since all you seem capable of is hurting her. All she's ever done is pour her love into you, and you actually ghosted her—the perfect woman. The longer you thought it over, the sillier your reasons felt.

Tony invited you over for this barbecue to celebrate his retirement, but you weren't dumb enough to not know why he wanted you to come. Steve, and Natasha were also retiring, the notion that the redhead was giving up this life regardless of you made your skin crawl.

Was she retiring for you? Did she know you are divorced? You knew Tony blabbed a lot, so it wouldn't surprise you if that's how she had found out.

Or was it for herself? She'd earned the right and it was a bit narcissistic to think you played any part here.

Did she have plans to find the life she wanted with someone else since you were a coward? It would only serve you right, you knew you didn't deserve her.

Tony saw the turmoil in your eyes as you picked at the foam, he gently pulled your hands from the stroller, and nodded to the door with a stern expression. "No..."

"Y/N," he sighed, ready to fight you for being a coward, but then his face fell in offense as you spoke, "You are not exactly baby proof Stark." The man scoffed, "You can't be serious, I am a perfectly functional dad!"

You deadpanned, "You are the fun dad to Pep's productive. You have her while Pepper is at a meeting and Morgan's shirt is now on inside out, she's ate off everyone's plate and if my eyes aren't deceiving me, she has a contraption from your lab. My son better..."

Tony immediately took off and you giggled, enjoying the moment of peace just before your daughter began to cry. If only Nat would have waited a minute she'd have seen you pull the tiny redhead from the stroller. It was uncanny how similar to Natasha she was.

Infuriating was more like it really, you carried her for ten excruciatingly long months, and all she got was your hair texture, lip shape, and unfortunately—temper. Everything else was Nat, aside from the blend of her skin tone, it was a beautiful mix of you both.

"What's the matter lyubov'?" You coo'd and pulled the sniffling baby girl to your chest. Unaware of the presence of your former teammates behind you. Wanda beamed at the knowledge of you learning Russian for your daughters sake, she knew Nat would likely cry at the notion too, but Maria merely gasped.

"Oh my gosh, is that Romanoff's?!" Wanda elbowed the nosy woman, at this point she wondered if Maria being the second in command for Shield was a good idea with the way she loved to gossip and tease. "Mhm..."

Wanda's hand fell on your shoulder, you were never much for staying silent, so you simply humming gave way to your obvious anxiety. "She's only crying my dear, because she knows you have unfinished business to tend to." You turned to her with a teary gaze of your own and she used the pad of her thumb to wipe them away in comforting strokes. "Hand me my niece, and go fix things with Natasha dorogoy, it'll be okay."

Delilah instantly stopped crying, her wobbly head turned slightly as she recognized Wanda's voice. The two shared excited smiles, one adorable and gummy, and the other accompanied by the faintest of wrinkles to show a long life lived. Wanda's nose was scrunched as she regarded your daughter with pure elation, and you had no qualms leaving her behind with Wanda.

"I'm sorry," you whispered as you passed her off, and Wanda wrapped her arm around your waist to offer you a comforting embrace. "All is forgiven as long as you don't fumble this time. Tell her how you feel, and let her feel it all too, she'll understand and forgive."

You nodded, offering a nervous smile then left in a hurry to get to the woman you wanted to be with for an eternity, hopeful that she still wanted the same as you.

The way to Natasha's room was quick, your muscles remembering the route without any need for a refresher. The path now forever engrained into your heart as the safest one. You pondered knocking, but then you heard the most gut wrenching sobs and felt the urgent need to push the door right open. As you opened the door though you were met with a far different sight than you had anticipated.

The sobs were ones of pure sexual frustration.

"Oh fuck!" You'd gasped at the sound of her raspy voice, the gorgeous redhead was leaning her head against the glass of her vanity as she jerked herself off with a pair of red lace panties that you'd left behind.

Natasha watched you in terror, her stomach tied in a more dreadful knot now that overpowered the arousal she needed to release. Once the shock wore off you stepped in, expression neutral as you shut her door with your foot, then used your powers to lock it.

"Y-Y/N, I can explain," she stuttered as you were silently approaching her. "How about you just let me take over instead, yeah?" Natasha nodded, her mind in a trance of sorts as she allowed you to remove her hand and use your own. The strokes you gave were feather light, but just because it was you she was on edge.

Pre-cum dribbled onto your thumb, and you used it to lube up her cock, and make your hand have a slicker surface to increase speed. You felt your panties dampen the longer you stroked her pulsing shaft, eyes locked in on the way her mouth was hung open, and her moans were raspy, melodious gifts for your ears.

"Y/N," she gritted out your name as her cock twitched with an increased warning, but you abruptly let her shaft go instead, and she sobbed without shame.

Natasha was frustrated with you on so many levels, but this had her feeling embarrassed. The way that she hasn't been able to get off without a piece of you in over a year shameful. Then when she was finally about to climax, with the real thing, you took it from her...

Again—you just kept taking, and taking from her, and now she was unsure if she had anything left to give.

"We need to talk," she rasped angrily and you nodded, but then you dropped to your knees with a wink. "We do need to talk Natasha," you purred her sentiments against the sticky red tip of her cock, reworking her mind into a haze as you prepared to give her head.

"Shall we do it now then?" You asked teasingly, but with your mouth inches from her throbbing member she could only frantically shake her head. "Later," you hotly voiced for her, you kissed her tip then licked her essence up with a soft flick through the sensitive slit.

All Natasha offered was a delayed, husky, "Mmm," too engrossed by the exhilarating sensation of your warm tongue swirling around her shaft as you slowly lowered your head until the tip of your nose brushed against her fuzzy abdomen to say much of anything else.

This was exactly what she needed. You knew it was only a matter of time before you two would have to face the reality. But, for this brief moment in time, you wanted to use your mouth to pleasure her, to soften the blow if you will, as you gave a physical apology.

After proving to yourself that you could still take all of her you pulled back and let her slick dick go with a pop so that you could admire it. While keeping your eyes locked on hers you lowered so you could lick a slow stripe up from her balls, over the underside of her shaft, flicking over the pulsing veins; building her excitement way up until your lips finally wrapped back around her head to give her some overdo pleasure.

"Oh fuck, I've missed your perfect mouth," she cried out, her hand suddenly fell atop of your head and she used all of her strength to still your bobbing so that she could fuck her cock deep down your throat instead. It was never not uncomfortable to be gagged for you, but your dampening panties gave way to the enjoyment.

Natasha felt even hotter as your excess drool pooled at the base of her shaft and slowly dribbled onto her balls. It was like every one of her senses was heightening as she felt as her auburn pubes became matted and clung to her balls. You felt it too, as they swung with each deep thrust and slapped into your sweaty skin.

There was no way the moment could improve, or so she thought, because with a firm tug on her sack, and the hollowing of your cheeks as your throat contracted around her tip she was no longer in control, her release torn from her with a throaty scream that made your arousal increase tenfold, and stain the black carpet.

The familiar taste of her was enough to bring you to the edge of glory, coupled with the way she continued to fuck your throat without so much as a thought to your needs arousing and you found yourself painfully ready to bust. Her cum was inched down your throat with every continued thrust, and you moaned along happily as you continued to suck her dry, all the way up until her member fell flaccid in your mouth.

You were nearly there, your thighs rubbed together just right, but the redhead would be damned if you were to waste your cum on her carpet instead of her readied tongue. "There's no going back after this Y/N," she rasped against the shell of your ear as she pulled you to your feet while tucking her cock back into her briefs. "If I kiss you now, then you are mine for the claiming. Understood?" You hated so much that her glossed eyes shone with immense fear and hurt.

"Do it," you pleaded, a part of you hoping that what you are going to say later doesn't change her promise; you desperately wanted to be hers for good. "Please!"

Natasha gripped you by your hips and pushed you back onto the bed as her lips met yours. Her skilled hands unclasped your bra while her tongue slowly swirled around yours, tasting herself and silently vowing to never let you go a day without being filled by her in someway. All she wanted was to be yours, and make you hers in every sense, and that included breeding you, but not before she gave you the sloppiest head.

"God, you're so hot Y/N!" She practically screamed, the need for emphasis obvious. The way she stared down at your forever changed body with admiration made you want to cry. You gulped as her eyes trailed up to yours, she offered you a loving smile but her heart broke at the sight of your petrification. "Don't lie..."

Natasha was going to kill your ex. One final mark...

"Oh my beautiful girl," she sighed, her hot breath brushed over your slick mound and she admired how your body twitched and arched at the pleasure just a breeze gives to your cunt. She placed a gentle kiss to your clit, but kept moving up instead so she could kiss the stripes that adorned the plush skin of your belly.

"You are the hottest woman around detka," she admitted without any waver in her voice, her nose nudged against the soft skin of your stomach as she wordlessly continued to admire your body and the sacrifice you have made twice now. "I can't wait to etch more of these lines, to stake my claim to your womb."

You whimpered, but something about the sound wasn't rooted in pleasure, so she came back up to hover your face. "What's wrong detka, am I moving too fast?"

You smiled sadly, and shook your head, "No, it's just.. I-I," you couldn't help but to stutter now, "The claim is already yours Natasha, and it always should've been."

You don't regret Carter, how could you? In spite of all the turmoil surrounding him, he was a lovely toddler. With a natural curiosity to keep him fun, but a cautious approach that kept him safe from the lingering dangers of the world. Your son was the definition of perfect, and was never regretted, you merely rebuke Ryan.

"How so?" Natasha challenged, and you gulped, "We divorced because Delilah is yours Nat, our daughter."

"Yeah," she sighed with a sad smile, "But this time I'll be around to help as your body changes, to take care of you as you deserve while carrying my love around."

It stunned you to see nothing but love and solace behind her eyes, she wasn't angry, she was visibly relieved. Which meant this wasn't exactly news to her.

"You knew?" She nodded, and you felt your throat go dry; of course she did, Natasha wasn't regarded as a top tier spy for nothing. You frantically moved to defend your decisions, "I-I wanted to tell you Natty, but I was so scared." Natasha kissed your trembling lips tenderly in an attempt to cut off your anxiety, and for a perfect moment there was nothing but peace.

"I understand," she eventually whispered as she parted from the kiss, "You couldn't be sure of your feelings, you were only six months postpartum when we made her." Her, Delilah, Natasha's precious mini me that she'd yet to meet and the product of a destined love.

"No," you insisted, "Please do understand that I was never confused about my love for you. Every time we made love that ring would burn on my finger like the devil himself possessed it, because the greatest sin I've ever lived was pretending not to be in love with you."

You watched her eyes narrow in confusion and sighed resignedly. "You deserved someone better, I knew I wasn't enough for you. You're a model with a heart of gold, and I'm just a—." You were both momentarily stunned as her hand made contact with your cheek. The both of you blinked back your shock, and after she saw you were okay her eyes completely darkened. "I'm going to kill them Y/N, they deserve despair for ever making you question even an ounce of your beauty."

"Natty no," you pleaded for Carter's sake, "I mean yeah, Ryan wasn't good, but they were a bad I deserved," you saw the way her eyes narrowed and your speech flinched, "I-I am trying to say that you were too good."

"Me?" She scoffed with a twist of pure disgust, "How could I ever be too good for you?! Y/N, you are —."

"You're so beautiful Natasha," you sighed, cutting her off, "I don't even mean your looks, I am appreciative for them, sure, but it's your heart that I adore."

You couldn't fight the smile that took over your face, the veins of her cock pulsed through the thin material of her boxers, felt pulsing against your thigh along to the beat of her racing heart and you knew you'd said the right thing. Natasha's eyes were welling with tears as she leaned in to kiss you, it was tender and not at all foreign, but it was a feeling you'd nonetheless missed.

She always regarded your body with love, even in the more rougher moments, when she'd abuse your body like you'd beg her to, she would whisper her hearts reassuring thoughts. Deep down she always knew you asked for what you thought you deserved, so she gave you it, but not without what she knew you needed too.

"You're so good Y/N," she practically pleaded, her eyes shed hopeful tears that dripped down your temples, "I'm blessed to be in this position with you right now, the mother of my kids," she proudly said, her subtle claim to your son made you sniffle. "You deserve to be loved just like you love everyone else; without limit."

"Natasha," you whimpered, and she pecked your lips. "You're my wildest dream come true; a sight for sore eyes, an absolutely amazing mother, with the physique of a goddess. You are a blessing worthy of worshipping, I can swear to you that there's no one more perfect for me than you detka, you are the love of my life."

"Fuck," you scoffed over a sob, "So damn cheesy..."

Natasha hummed softly, "Can you feel it?" and offered you an amused smile. You blinked up in a daze as she brushed your knuckles over her lips, and you felt her dick twitch against your skin as she husked, "My love."

Your body took her words as a sign to start working towards pleasing her, you were desperate to feel it wholly. Natasha threw an arm around your waist as her back arched, securing you to her as she thrusted up involuntarily and reached a prime point of pleasure that made you both scream, yours shrill and hers a rasp. The way her throbbing tip was rubbed raw as her briefs smeared your arousal around your clit had you both already breathless, it took everything in her not to enter you then. If not for her desperation to taste what she'd been missing she would've given in instantly.

"Natty please," you tried, but ultimately failed, her raspy voice denied your pleasure, "Not yet, I need to return the favor first, I miss having your taste on my tongue and smelling you on my lips hours later."

It infuriated your cunt, who's hollowed walls clenched with need, but in the same breath her tone turned you on beyond belief, to not only feel, but to hear just how affected she was by her lusty desires centered around eating you out alone had your legs naturally spreading.

"There's my good girl," she praised against the plushness of your thigh, her tongue laid flat as she slowly licked up the essence coating your skin on a scandalous route to the grand prize, your oozing core.

Or better known to her as paradise.

After teasing you enough, with abrasive nibbles and her tongues follow up soothing caresses she felt it was about time to give you exactly what you both needed. Her lips twitched as she purposefully breathed your arousal in, and you choked in contrast when she lunged forward and began to eat your puffy pussy out.

There was no more gentle, loving Natasha; her eyes blackened, the carnality shown she was nothing short of feral, the filthy moans vibrating you into an orgasm as her tongue lapped at your core proof enough. But, for the sake of imagination, picture as if she was actually outside right now. Forced to participate in the watermelon eating contest, her hands tied behind her back and her face hovered over the three thick pieces on her plate; she'd beat both Sam and Bucky in record time, twelve seconds—four per slice, and still have enough time to make you scream around the corner, pinned to a wall while the boys struggled to focus.

The Falcon's wings would dip when informed it took him thirty seconds, but not as disappointed as The Winter Soldier who took thirty five. Fortunately for the boys, Natasha was buried in a more fitting place, winning at life as the soldiers tied, but lost to Thor who did it in ten, followed by a burp and plea for more.

You also endlessly pleaded for more, then rather suddenly for less, but inevitably you went unheard as your thighs deprived Natasha of both air and the ability to hear. Yet she kept going, making you scream out her name seconds later, and cream on her tongue.

Natasha felt your thighs relax, and with a firm grip she separated them, digging her nails into the skin as she took in an exaggerated gulp of air. You mewled and threw your head back to avoid her scarily arousing gaze. The both of you knew she was trained to hold her breath for extended periods of time, but it was hot nonetheless for you to witness, and her to pretend.

Truthfully, you internally, always made her breathless, so she was simply emoting. After a moment of you both coming back to your senses Natasha groaned, her red tip brushed against the sticky fabric of her boxers and she was disappointed she came outside of you.

"You always do this Y/N," she groaned, "I can't even help but to fuck the air to the sounds of your cries."

"Sorry," you whimpered, Natasha watched with a smirk as your entire body shivered. Then her face dropped as she realized something, "It just wasted our greatest chance at making a baby Y/N! The first round is the most potent, so now I'll have to fill you twice."

"Delilah is only six months," you panted, your words of concern not matching the clear state of your arousal. "Yeah detka; that means we are, quite frankly, behind."

"Behind?" Natasha nodded as she avoided your gaze to focus down on the mess of her boxers as she took them off and flipped them inside out. "Detka, we don't waste, so finish your treat before you get answers." There was no hesitation as you sucked the cotton fabric clean of her, moaning and soaking through the pair.

"You want this, don't you?" Natasha asked, her confidence dimmed as the fear of rejection emerged. You spit out her boxers and shrieked, "of course I do!"

Natasha hummed, "Then yes my love," as she gently stroked your cheek before pecking it. "We're gravely behind, so let's just call this an efficient way to catch up. I'll overload you on my love, and swimmers."

"Okay," your voice absolutely breathless as you allowed her to pull you up off the bed, having accepted the hand she'd extended out just so she could pull you close and kiss you until your were both breathless.

When you were distracted enough she spun you around and pressed you into the tacky wall with her muscular frame, her hot breaths fanned across your skin and your clit pulsed. She drove you wild, evidence of that being the way that your slick dribbled down the sides of her length that curved beneath your cunt.

"Are you ready to be bred?" Her fingers fondly traced over the marks on your hips. "To be full of my pulsing cock as it busts? I promise I'll leave you beyond full."

"Mommy please," you whined and pushed back with all your might to curve her dick up and into you. "Oh, you know what that does to me detka; you're in for it now."

Natasha pressed her body up, and rocked her hips until she'd smeared enough of your slick onto her length. It was a precautionary measure to ensure you minimal pain as she never failed to stretch you to your limits.

"Fuck mommy, you're so big," you mewled as her tip barely pressed into you, the redhead chuckled and slammed her hips forward, swiftly bottoming out and causing your body to lurch painfully into the wall. "Mmm, mommy loves the way you feel wrapped so tightly around me detka, suffocating my dick like the filthy whore that you are." She sloppily pecked your cheek. "This is right where you belong."

"Wanna stay like this forever," you sighed contentedly as your heated cheek brushed against the chilled wall with each shallow thrust she rewarded you with.

"That can be arranged," she rasped into your ear as her hips began to move a bit more. "Nobody else will ever get to see you like this again," she added, her growl and grip possessive as she picked up a pace you never could keep up with. Enhanced as you were with powers, the strength and stamina were all more Natasha's forte; fucking you limp a cherished specialty of hers.

"Nobody has seen me since you," you cleared the air in a dizzy slur, and felt as she prematurely shot into you, but Natasha recovered her composure fast and continued to fuck you while holding back her orgasm.

"Because this pussy is mine," she grunted, her hips now swirled with each thrust as she sought out your sole pleasure. Hearing that you were celibate in her absence a major ego boost as she rammed her fat cock into your spongey sensitivity with each precise jolt of her body into yours and pulled out those glorious supporting moans of a job well done. "Say it!"

"All yours mommy," you cried out sharply as her finger rapidly swirled against your swollen bud. "Damn straight," she groaned as she twitched and spasmed against your quivering walls. "Fucking hell, I'm going to fill you to the brim," she groaned against the base of your neck as she hastily pounded your body up against the wall.

Her hands gripped the fluff of your hips and fully drove her pelvis into your backside so that she could push you over the edge. "I'm so close mommy, please." Natasha obliged your pleas with a swift plan, her tongue teasingly licked the shell of your right ear, "Go on then sweetheart," her free hand moved to grope your breasts that leaked nonstop with warm milk while the other hand continued to stimulate your needy clit. "Let go and drench my cock; make a mess of me."

"Oh, oh, oh shit," you shrieked as you felt the coil within you snap into jagged pieces of pleasure. Nicking every inch of your body—setting your nerves ablaze. Pins and needles lasted for a perceivable eternity as you swore and soon enough you moaned a chorus as she fucked you through the toe curling orgasm.

Natasha shifted your bodies with ease, her cock still driving into your needy hole as she carried you over to lay your front down on the bed, she kept shallowly thrusting, but her strained cock managed to hold out. Even though she wanted to stay true to her words, she continued to hold back her own release for you.

"Your moans are my favorite," she whispered amusedly against the skin of your shoulder before placing a gentle kiss there, and thrusting in deep, pulling sultry cries from the depths of your needy soul. Only to then suddenly pull out so that she could admire your bare backside while calming her need to breed you.

Her hands groped the skin of your sore ass, you whined as her cold fingers trailed over the already bruising skin, tempering the sting from her hips prior assaults. "Daddy please," you whimpered, and she dug her nails into the skin. "Stop being so impatient detka, we're making up for lost time here—be a good girl, and don't rush the process."

"Sorry mommy," you whimpered, and though she couldn't see you she smiled at the remembrance of your usual pout. "There you go," she praised, "Always so good for me baby, I promise that I will never tire of having you like this," she paused, lining her tip back up with your dripping entrance, "Spread wide open as your pretty, puffy cunt devours my shaft."

That was the only warning you had before she slid her thickness back inside of you and began to give you the type of strokes that made your spine shiver; slow, and deep enough that you could feel your guts shifting.

You whimpered softly, "Fuck, I'm already so close again..." Natasha chuckled, "I know, I can feel you trembling detka, fuck, your walls are squeezing me so tight." The redhead stilled for just a second, much to your bodies dismay too, you pressed your ass back and your cunt somehow sucked her in even deeper. It took everything in her not to bust, but she wanted to be truly levelheaded about this before she lost control.

Two kids under two was no easy feat, to be ready for a third required a sure mentality. It was your body after all, talk all she wanted of her possession of your body, that was only in part true. You were in charge of what she did next, whether that be to cum inside you, or to release her potent load onto your back. Either way she'd be satisfied, and all she really wanted was you to be happy with the overall outcome too.

"Want to carry my baby again detka?" Her lips gently pressed into the skin of your shoulder, the moment was far less sexually charged, she gently marked your surrounding skin up while patiently waiting for your eventual, labored response. "Please..."

"Are you sure?" Natasha doubled down, her cock twitched in anticipation for your final reply. "Yes," you were breathless, "Please, just breed me already! Wanna be full of you." Natasha hummed, then picked her pace up, she still reached your greatest depths, but this time she went much faster—leaving you to moan nonstop.

"Gonna fill you until I'm sure I've succeeded," she rasped confidently after a moment of nothing other than listening to skin slapping, and juices sloshing. "Then I'll fuck you from the back every month and feel the way your body changes for our fetus," she placed a sloppy wet kiss behind the shell of your ear and your body shuddered as your walls clamped down on her thick shaft. "Fuck, I heard that pregnancy makes you even hornier detka. Maybe I'll hit it every night. I'll destroy this pussy before the birth ever could."

"Fucking hell Natasha," you shrieked, but it faded into a low pitched moan as the tip of her spurting cock hit that glorious spot deep within that blurred your vision. It happened just as she pressed her wandering hand against the bulge pushing your stretched skin back out.

Your vision blacked out, your cheek pressed into the sheets harshly as the redhead continued to thrust against your pussy's tight resistance to prolong your orgasms and to also allow your walls to effectively milk her cock, ensuring maximum breeding efficiency.

When even she couldn't take anymore she fell into your backside a panting mess. "You did so good," she reassured you, her hands tight grip on your hips loosened so she could stroke your sides instead as you both took a moment to regulated your systems.

After a few moments Natasha became restless, her stamina bouncing back fast as she rose up and slid out of you, leaving behind a sticky mess of your arousals as she did; her clean sheets never stood a chance. It was a moment of total joy for her to watch as your pussy contracted, sensitive walls pushing the excess of her cum from you a sight worthy of marveling. The way it bubbled and popped was absolutely mesmerizing...

There was hardly a lull in her cocks erectness, she stood there still slightly out of breath, with her sticky member inches away from her rock-hard abs in a sweaty glow. Tension held her body captive as she picked her next move. "I want you to ride me detka, bounce on mommy's cock for a bit, suck me dry."

"Mommy, I..." you sighed, "I'm tired."

"I know honey," she coo'd as she sat down on the edge of the mattress, her nimble fingers wrapped around your thigh and teasingly squeezed. "I'll do all the work." With the promise of the needed assistance you slowly shuffled over to her, and threw your leg over her spread set, opening your slick lips back up and allowing her to slip herself back in. You moaned into her shoulder as you felt your mixed slicks gush as your core met the base of her cock at a new, delightful angle.

"Mommy," you called shyly, as if you weren't already in the midst of a raw fucking, your glossy eyes fell to her lips, and she shook her head in amusement as she chuckled, "Come on detka, take what you need."

The way you kissed her every single time was how she knew your feelings for her went beyond that of lust. It was always soft, and sensual with a sense of urgency. Sometimes she felt like you were out to devour her entirely, and if you were, she wouldn't even mind. To be taken out by your lips on hers sounds heavenly.

"Oh god," you whimpered, overrun by a pleasure only she could offer you, her hands on your hips guided you, but she let you control the kiss. "I need you all the time Natty," you panted harshly against her lips as you only briefly disconnected them. "I can't get off without you. Not even listening to your old voicemails work."

"You'll never need to again detka," she growled, hands possessive as they pulled your body back down by your hips to meet her desperate thrusts, "I'll fill you up every day if that's what you need—mhm, yeah; this pussy of mine will never have time to miss me."

"Please..." you begged as your lips left hers so your head could fly back in pleasure, and your hands clawed at her neck, leaving behind angry red lines. Natasha's breath stalled, the grip she had on your hips tightened, then she dropped you mid lift because of how dizzy she felt with the way that your walls squeezed her shaft every damn time it left your warmth. Your face fell to her neck, lips latching onto her pulse point, and with you working to claim her too she busted. The warmth of her seed splattered against your walls, again, the stream nudged your g-spot with a firm flow, joined by the harsh slam of her tip; it was all too much, and in some strange way it never felt like it was enough.

Arousal gushed all over the redheads skin, and slowly dripped down the oak bed frame, polishing it anew.

The way your combined releases ran down from her abdomen and saturated the skin of her balls made her body tense as she produced even more of her seed. Natasha hadn't stopped thrusting, in fact she flipped your body onto the bed, and sent you into another wave of pleasure, and your mind to another dimension.

It had been exactly fourteen months, and ten days since she last felt as her cock rearranged your insides so she wasn't ready to stop. Natasha panted against your neck as she kept fucking your unconscious body.

Eventually she fell semi-flaccid, and her breath was so erratic she had to stop her body from continuing to ram into you. Even if the urge persisted, you were more than fucked out, so she was mostly satisfied. There's no way her diet super soldier swimmers weren't going to fulfill their duty. If the redhead is lucky she'll get a two for one reward. She can't wait to be waiting on you hand and foot. There'd never be a night you went to bed hungry, or uncomfortable.

You'll carry her kids, and she'll carry the rest of the burdens that come with life. The redhead admired your still face, your eyes tracked behind your lids, and your even, cool breaths fanned across her warm face. This was what she believed bliss to be at its core.

Natasha gently slid right on out of you, but it didn't last long before she was sheathed within your velvety warmth again. After you awoke she'd kissed you tenderly, and as her tongue explored your mouth you reached down to pump your hand up and down her cock, it was loud and wet, your hand growing sticky with your mixed arousals and her body shuddered.

"Inside," you breathed in a fit against her lips, she chuckled in disbelief at your needy behavior, and happily guided her cock to your entrance and watched as your walls sucked her in and your wetness gushed all over. "Oh fucking hell detka," Natasha groaned as her fingers flexed against your hips, "Eto ray."

(this is heaven)

"Mhm," you softly hummed your agreement, your hazy eyes fluttered open a moment later as you cheekily smirked up at her. "That dick game is god tier Natty."

Natasha rolled her eyes, then chuckled against your skin as she happily burrowed her face into your neck. All of the lust had faded, for now, and all that was left was to soak in the fact that this was finally happening.

Nothing could ruin the moment, well, almost nothing.

Your phone dinged about half an hour later, and if not for being a mom you'd have ignored it. You lazily lifted it from her nightstand. A soft giggle left you as Natasha grumbled in annoyance at the shift of her cock that was still inside of you. The woman turned her head on your chest and peered at your phone suspiciously only to see that it was lit up with an innocent text from Wanda.

Shall I take the kids back to mine ? 👀♥️

"Tell her to wait," Natasha pleaded, then in a rush she jumped up, leaving you hollow and raced into the shower. You did as told, then followed behind, and the two of you tenderly, yet speedily cleaned the other off.

Wanda sat in the living area with Carter asleep on her bump, and with Delilah laying on the play mat below her, happily kicking her feet. You quietly moved to sit beside your best friend, and watched with a smile as the love of your life cautiously approached your child.

"Hello there moya malen'kaya lyubov'," she was so soft spoken as she spoke to Delilah that you almost didn't recognize her voice. Tears brimmed your lids as you watched the way that your daughter lit up at hearing the spoken Russian, of course Natasha noticed too.

(My littlest love)

"Detka," she whimpered, and looked up into your eyes "Do you speak to her in Russian?" You nodded and sent her a playful wink to cover your emotional gaze. Natasha however turned stone cold serious as she said: "YA sobirayus' sdelat' tebya svoyey zhenoy."

(I'm going to make you my wife)

Wanda giggled from beside you when you frowned and looked to your love with a pout. Natasha smirked this time and winked back, "We'll work on your Russian, then we'll return to that phrase when you understand."

"Oh," you chuckled softly, "I understood, I just expected a first date, then the fat diamond ring."

You turned away from your blushing lover, and scooped your son off of Wanda. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm not leaving you with my two gremlins when you already have two growing inside of you." Wanda went to protest but you leaned into her ear to whisper: "The walls at my place are soundproof..."

You walked away with a proud smirk as the women sat there with collective reddened cheeks. Wanda left a moment later with a kiss left on your daughter's cheek, and a rush in her wobble. Natasha shook her head and chuckled softly at your daughter, "Tvoyu mat' ne zrya prozvali 'Ubiytsey'" Delilah tilted her head, and Natasha was perturbed by Wanda's obvious influence.

(Your mother wasn't nicknamed "Killer" for nothing)

"Detka, where are we going?" She asked as she trailed behind you with a curious infant sat atop of her hip. "Home," you replied flatly then turned around with a contradicting grin. "You ready to shack up darling?"

"I don't know," Natasha teased, "that's a lot of responsibility to place upon a free flyer like me."

"Then I guess," you were cut off by a kiss that left you speechless, yet slightly humming as you grinned against her plush lips. "You've been tamed by a," she cut you off again with a peck and answer: "Beautiful, perfect in all of the ways that count, sexy ass milf."

"You're such a hopeless romantic," you teased, and she matched your grin with a suave lift of the mood. "I'm never hopeless with you Y/N, just soft, and absolutely, undeniably in love with you."

"Jeez Nat, keeping charming my pants off and we'll literally end up with a baseball team." The redhead chuckled, "A team of tiny assassins and witches," then sidled up to you, and slid her free hand into yours in perfect rhythm. "You're insane." Natasha swung your connected hands and grinned up like a devil. "I sure am crazy for you, so yeah, I'll claim it." She winked slowly and snorted when you glared, it was entirely heatless and she knew it.

Then to make the moment all the more special she leaned forward and smiled at your son. "Hi there sweet boy, I'm," she went to introduce herself but the nearly two year old interrupted her excitedly, "Mama!" Natasha was stunned and you elated to see it was a good thing, her eyes lit up with so much love, and she dropped your hand so that she could snatch Carter right from you. "Hey! You already have a baby!"

"You hush," she hissed playfully, then you saw her eyes glisten as he nuzzled right into her neck like she was safe and she emotionally whispered to him in Russian: "Moy ideal'nyy syn, ya budu lyubit' tebya bez ogranicheniy."

(My perfect son, I will love you without limits)

"Moya dragotsennaya Dalila, ya nauchu tebya vsem svoim znamenitym dvizheniyam," she placed a gentle kiss to her face. Then her gaze turned to you as you scoffed, "Not happening if she takes after me for once."

(my precious delilah, I will teach you all my famous moves)

"Don't worry, I didn't forget about you," she turned around and came to a sudden stop. Forcing you to nearly bump into her, but she took a smooth step back with a stupidly hot smirk on her face. "I could never." Natasha leaned in and kissed your lips with a precise tenderness. "I love you, and I plan to for the rest of my life," you blurted, stealing her thunder but she loved the sudden declaration of yours more than her own repeated ones. "I'm so glad you're the one who almost got away, because I'd forever be lost without you."

"My rodstvennyye dushi," she whispered as she pecked your tear tracked cheeks, "Ty byl moyey sud'boy," this time she was pressed against your lips. Then she pulled back with a smile as she continued to speak as her lips met her sleeping babies faces. "Oni nashe naslediye." Then she perfectly crouched without jostling the kids to kiss the skin of your tummy. "For good luck."

(We are soulmates / You were my destiny / Them our legacy)

——

[creative-caramel-coffee]

A Disastrous First.

Pairings: Wanda x nat x R (platonic)

Word count: 4.6K

Summary: Reader is on a mission with the team and it’s the morning before they leave to go into the bush for a bunch of days to camp to stakeout a base and reader gets her first period. Bad timing.

TW: periods (idk if that needs a warning lol), blood, vomiting, exhaustion, cramps, embarrassment, swearing (very little tho)

A/n this is based partly off personal experience lol

“So are there any questions before we leave?” Steve asked. A chorus of mumbled no’s came from the group and Steve clapped his hands. “Alright everyone go to the bathroom and then we’ll head off. The campsite has already been setup.” He continued to talk but your weren’t really paying any attention. You felt odd.

After the meeting ended you stood and followed the team out of the room. Everyone went back to their rooms to finished packing and go to the bathroom before getting on the jet. Fury would be coming with to pilot the jet back to the compound as it drew too much attention for a week long stakeout in the woods.

Hydra had a new covert based and Steve posed all the avengers come with the camp out in the woods. It really only needed about two people for the mission but Steve insisted after all it had a been a long time since the group did anything as a team.

You finished packing a bag with basic supplies. You were the youngest on the team. About half a year younger than peter who was fifteen which left you at fourteen and a half. After all the team couldn’t not accept you after your past. Hydra had given you powers that couldn’t be ignored. Fire and magic made it hard to fit in at times but after you met Wanda you grew better control over them. Not as good as her yet but still impressive. She had much more time spent training hers than you.

You set the duffel bag on the edge of the bed and walked to the bathroom.

“Shit.” You swore. Internally panicking. You knew you were a bit late and most of the other girls in your year had gotten their first periods but you hadn’t expected it now. You had no supplies, and you were about to leave. You got lost in your own mind. Could you ask Wanda? A knock came from your bedroom door.

“Y/n? Steve needs us all at the jet now he sent me to get you.” Nat called through the door.

Dammit. You folded some toilet paper and placed it in your underwear. You could ask Wanda once you get to the camp ground.

“Y/n?” Nat called again.

“Coming.” You said. Quickly you washed you hands and finished up grabbing the duffel and slinging it over one shoulder. Nat studied you for a moment and then without a word the two of you walked down the hall.

When you got to the jet Wanda sensed you anxiety and once you were in the air she pulled you aside to ask if you were ok. You had made an agreement for her not to look into your mind as it brought back memories of not being in control like at hydra.

“Y/n? Are you ok?” Wanda said rubbing her thumb against your bicep from where she held it.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.” You said and Wanda frowned unconvinced.

“Y/n you can tell me anything you know that right?” She said softly.

“Well actually there is something but. Its dumb.”

“Im sure if its bothering you its not dumb.” She said and ushered you to sit with her away from the group.

“I- i- i got m-my first p-period.” You said not looking at Wanda. She smiled at you with understanding in her eyes.

“That’s ok. Do you need anything? Pads? Have you got cramps or anything?” She asked.

“I do need some pads. I don’t have anything. And i don’t think I’ve had any cramps yet. Im just tired.” You said.

“Well i can give you some pads and you can go put one in before we land. Its a tough time to get it with camping and all. Steve said there would be no real bathrooms.” Your head whipped up at that.

“W-what?” You said eyes wide.

“Oh sweetheart were you not listening again. Its kinda a pee in the woods situation.” Wanda said. You simply opened and closed you mouth and Wanda pulled you in for a hug. You felt her slip something into your pocket and pat your back.

“Thanks wands.” You said. Quietly slipping away you put in the pad before coming back to sit next to her. You rested you head on her shoulder exhausted from everything.

“You can sleep now y/n/n we still have a couple hours till we get there.” Wanda said and you curled into her and drifted off.

You woke to hands running through your hair and soft whispers in your ear.

“Y/n/n time to wake up lovely girl.” Wanda said and you opened your eyes.

“There she is.” Wanda said and patted your cheek. “We have about five minutes till we land. I though you should change again before we get off and start setting up.”

“Ok.” You mumbled and stood sleepily. Once you entered the bathroom you found another pad in your pocket and silently thanked Wanda. After changed again you went back and curled up against her again. This time with you head in her lap. Wanda traced patterns on you leg and soon you felt someone sit down on your other side. Nat picked up your legs and swung them into her lap.

“You ok y/n/n?” Nat asked. She had been observing from the other side of the jet. You mumbled and hid your head in Wanda’s thigh.

“Do you want me to tell her?” Wanda said and felt you nod against her leg. Wanda lent closer to nat and whispered to her.

“Y/n/n got her first period. Shes a bit exhausted.” Wanda said and nat nodded.

“Does she need anything?” Nat asked.

“I think she’s ok. I’ll ask.” Wanda stroked your hair again and softly asked if you needed anything. You mumbled a small no and went back to dozing.

“Yeah she’s ok for now but do a favour and keep an eye on her if I’m not with her for some reason?”

“Sure.” Nat said.

After dozing for another few minutes Wanda’s hands found your hair again and you yawned, stretching in her arms.

“Welcome back sleepy head. We just touched down, nat said she can carry your bag if you want sweets.” Wanda said. You sat up slowly.

“No I’ll be fine don’t worry.” You waved her off and grabbed you bag following Steve off the jet with nat and Wanda following behind you.

“Alright we’ll be in tents of three.” Steve started once the team was all in the clearing. “Wanda, nat and Y/n in one tent. Bucky, sam and myself in another. Bruce, tony and peter in the third. And lastly Clint and Thor in the last one.” Steve said and for once there was minimal arguing as everyone was happy with their tent groups. The team dispersed and began putting bags in tents and claiming sleeping bags.

Nat, Wanda and you were sat in the canvas tent. You had opted for the middle spot with nat on your left and Wanda on your right. But the three of you knew you would all wake up in a cuddle pile each morning.

Wanda placed her hand on your knee where you had your legs crossed under you.

“Y/n/n are you still feeling ok sweets?” She asked from where she sat on her own sleeping bag. Nat sat on your other side folding her clothes and placing them at the foot of her bed but you knew she was listening as well.

“‘M fine.” You mumbled feeling your cheeks heat. “Um. I do have a question though.”

“What is it lovely?” Wanda asked.

“Um, what do i do with the dirty pads if there are no bathrooms?” You mumbled again. Wanda slapped her forehead.

“Oh damn how could i forget.” She began rooting around in her bag. Soon she pulled out a plastic bag with four brown paper bags inside and a small container of baking soda. You looked at her confused as she handed it to you.

“Basically you put the pad inside the bag and sprinkle a bit of baking soda on it to keep … bugs away from it.” She said.

“Ew.” You said making a face and shoving the bag into your backpack.

“Yeah. Pretty much.” Wanda said chuckling.

“Thanks wands your a life saver.” You said and hugged her. She hugged back loosely worried about if you had cramps or not yet. When the two of you broke apart nat silently hugged you.

“I know i don’t have much experience in this but in want to help so i bought you this.” She said and pulled a chocolate bar from her bag. You took it with tears in your eyes and nat silently panics worried she had done something wrong. Wanda simply chuckled as you threw yourself at nat for another hug.

“There are the hormones.” Wanda said grinning.

“Oh shut up and come here sparkly hands.” You said and she raised a brow and sandwiched you between her and nat. After a few moments you pulled them down and now you all laid cuddling on your sleeping bag. After a few moments Wanda noticed the slow rise and fall of your chest as you had fallen asleep. It was at this moment the flap of the tent lifted and Clint poked his head in.

“If i knew it was cuddle time i would have come earlier. Can i join?” He joked and nat rolled her eyes from where she laid with your arm over her chest snoring softly. She lazily flipped him off and Wanda stifled a chuckle.

“What do you want Clint?” She said feigning annoyance.

“Steve wants us all to gather so he can go over what we are going to be doing for the next few days.”

Nat sighed “give us a minute and tell him Y/n’s not coming and we’ll catch her up later.” Clint grinned shooting her a thumbs up before disappearing.

Carefully the two girls extracted themselves from your grasp and slipped in a pillow for you to cuddle. You rolled over burying you face in it and breathing in deep. Wanda cooed and nat laughed softly.

“She really is just a big teddy bear.”

“Shes a cute teddy bear.” Wanda agreed.

“Alright lets go see what capsicle wants before he comes in and wakes up y/n/n” nat said and the two quietly left the tent hoping you wouldn’t wake until they got back.

Steve sat around a small campfire in the middle of the tents and was poking it with a stick. He looked up and frowned.

“Is there any good reason Miss L/n is not joining us.” Steve asked.

“Shes sleeping.” Nat said

“Not good enough go get her up.” Steve said and nat was about to argue when Wanda left to go grab you knowing Steve wouldn’t change his mind.

When she returned you were trailing behind her exhausted and rubbing your eyes. The team was all there now and watched your curiously.

Steve began talking but you weren’t really listening as you rested you head on Wanda’s shoulder.

“Are you ok?” She asked softly “your looking a bit pale sweets.” She said.

“‘M fine wands.” You mumbled shifting a bit and poorly hiding a wince. Wanda noticed and decided to bring it up after whenever this impromptu meeting finished. She shot nat a look and Wanda silently told her what was going on with her powers. Nat nodded and went back to paying attention so she could fill you in later as she could see you were half asleep and not paying attention and Wanda was more focused on you than Steve. She placed a hand on your cheek holding your head from where it sat on her shoulder. Your whole body was leaned into hers as you blinked and fought sleep.

After the meeting was over Wanda carried you back to the tent as you were still exhausted. Nat followed behind. Wanda moved carefully not to jostle you and spark any uanessacry pain as she knew the cramps had started.

She placed you down on her bed so you were more out of the way. Nat followed her into the tent.

“Are you sure she should be sleeping this much?” Nat asked a little worried.

Wanda shrugged, “I was the same on my first, it’s all new and exhausting both physically and mentally. Im expecting her to get upset at some point. When your not used to it and your hormones are out of whack, seeing that much blood can be scary and gross. Plus not having real bathrooms or anything makes that ten times worse. I feel for the kid, timing just sucks. And from what i can tell with how often she’s changing her pad poor things not got it light, i just hope its a short number of days.”

They woke you once for lunch and gave you some pain meds before the three of you relaxed but not quiet slept in the tent for the afternoon. You did some lazy doodles in your sketchbook not really paying much attention to the art. You must have fallen asleep at some point because your woke in Nat’s lap with braided hair. The three of you got up and had dinner which you ate curled into Wanda’s side. After you went to bed while Nat and Wanda stayed up for a bit with the team. And despite being an avenger tony had given both you and peter a bed time of ten. So the two of you went to bed in your own tents.

You woke to a sticky feeling between the sheets, it was still dark. And you laid annoyed at being away, huffing softly before a cramp hit hard accompanied with nausea. Knowing the feeling a little too well you hastily crawled over the sleeping lump that was Wanda, accidentally jostling her in your hurry. She sat up slightly with you laid across her lap with your hands frantically unzipping the zip. She rubbed her eyes and yawned.

“Y/n? What are you doing?” She asked and froze as instead of a response she heard you gag and start to dry heave. That woke her up quickly. She looked over at Nat who had propped herself up on her elbow with her eyebrows scrunched looking slightly tired. When they heard you whimper nat scurried out of her sleeping bag to beside you were you were now on all fours. Your back arched as Nat swept your hair up to hold it just in time as you began top throw up on the grass behind the tent. You breathed heavily coughing up the last of it while Wanda rubbed between your shoulder blades. You were panting and the two women held their breath in anticipation.

“You ok you gonna-“ nat was cut off as you brought up another round.

“Ok that answers it.” She said. “Shh bubs its alright. Its ok. We’re not mad just get it all up sweets.” She said. Wanda whispered similar things as she silently thanked Thor that nobody came to investigate the gross splashing sound of you being sick on the ground. When you finished you looked up with tears in your eyes. Wanda waved her hand the sick puddle disappeared as she pulled you into her lap where you curled up and cried. Wanda shushed you softly as nat dug around in her bag for a bottle of water, mouthwash and a cracker for you to nibble on as well as two ibuprofen.

“Shhh sweets it’ll be ok. Do you want me to come with so you can change you pad sweets i think you bleed a bit on the sheets. She said and your cried harder not having noticed.

You nodded into her stomach and Wanda used her magic to clean the sheets before nat handed you the things she grabbed. You used the mouthwash and drank some water opting to eat the cracker once you had changed and felt hopefully, less sick. Worried you couldn’t handle anything in your stomach at the moment. Nat nodded and Wanda led you by the hand to the patch of trees a little way off from the camp ground. She turned her back and used here magic to light the area for you with a soft red glow. After the rustling stopped and you told her you were done she walked you back to the tent where nat was sat patiently waiting for your return. She silently handed you the cracker and you curled up on your bed nibbling on it. Two strong pairs of arms wrapped around you from both sides and once you finished the cracker you drifted off again the pain medicine working wonders for your cramps which had settled to a dull ache.

The next morning Wanda and nat let you sleep in taking turns to sit in the tent for when you woke up. Not wanting you to be alone after last night knowing you would wake with more cramps. In the morning they wanted to give you the pain meds straight away to avoid another episode like last night.

Clint shot nat a look from where he sat making coffee on a pot above the fire.

“You look like shit. Did you even sleep last night?” He asked and nat rolled her eyes and flipped him off.

“Shut up Barton. Y/n kept me awake last night.” She said and Clint laughed.

“She kicking you again in her sleep.” He asked.

“No Shes sick.” Nat said and Clint’s laughing stopped and he stilled, looking worried.

“She ok?” He asked.

“Yeah she’s sleeping. Just… keep this between us, ok?” She said and Clint nodded knowing nat would have her reasons. He went back to stirring the coffee so it didn’t burn.

“You and Wanda can have the first cup.” He said and nat blew him a kiss.

“Life saver.” She winked and went to find Steve to tell him he needed to excuse you from activities and either her or Wanda for the day.

Nat soon swapped out for Wanda and moments after the young witch had left you began yo stir. Nat was by your side in an instance and you sleepily took the medicine she held out for you. What she wasn’t expecting was for you to curl back up as small sobs shook your body. Nat carefully placed a hand on your shoulder.

“There’s so much blood natty.” You whimpered with little tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Shh shh i know love its ok.” Nat said petting your hair.

“I wanna go home.” You cried and nat pulled you into her to give you a hug. You sat there a tangle of limbs while you cried into her shoulder while she stroked your head and whispered words of comfort.

“Its ok my sweet angel your alright.” She said before humming a soft Russian lullaby that sent you back to sleep. She sat back against her pillow with you laid on top of her. Which is where Wanda found her a half hour later.

“She doing ok nat? Did you give her the meds?” Wanda asked and Nat nodded. You were still clinging to her like a koala.

“Shes emotional and tired which is a hard combo for her.” Nat said and placed a kiss to the crown of your head from where it rested below Nat’s chin.

“Poor girl.” Wanda said. “At least Steve excused the three of us from activities. All it took was one mention of that time of the month for him to look sunburnt all of a sudden and turn into a stuttering mess.” Wanda chuckled.

“Yeah Steve’s sweet and he means well its just sex ed wasn’t really a thing in his time. He’s good at helping a girl out if she needs it but he’s still a bit uncomfortable with the whole thing. He’s trying though.” Nat said and you whined as you stirred before burning your face in Nat’s armpit. Wanda pulled a face and nat laughed.

“Im clean don’t worry she’s probably just looking for warmth.”

“I should take her and let you get so me breakfast before it’s all gone.” Wanda said as she carefully pried your sleepy form from nat. You curled into yourself before Wanda pulled you close and you immediately latched onto her and settled again. Nat chuckled slightly.

“She sure is clingy like this, that gonna have to be my new favourite time of the month then if we get this may cuddles.” Nat said and Wanda laughed slightly. Her chest vibrating against your cheek as she did. You hummed in sleeping content as she did and you smiled in your sleep.

“Now shoo, go get some food and maybe bring something back for the cuddle bear here.” Wanda said and nat gave a mock salute before hopping up and getting out of the tent. Nat smirked as Steve failed to meet her eyes and she quickly dished up some food before heading back to the tent.

When Wanda woke you for breakfast you looked confused which was adorable in your sleepy state with your messed up hair. That was something nat could fix for you later.

“I thought Steve said no food in tents? Something about animals?” You asked.

“I doubt Steve is in any state to say anything and what he doesn’t know cant hurt him.” You shrugged as Wanda laughed and you began to eat the bacon and toast. You didn’t like eggs.

Nat laughed as you pushed the eggs to one side. She knew you wouldn’t eat them and simply got them so her and Wanda could have more.

“Thank you guys. I know I haven’t been very easy to deal with” you smiled at them but it was more a half grimace. Wanda set her fork down.

“Absolutely not. You will not apologise for something you can’t control sweets. Nat and I are happy to help and not just this time. If you ever need us for anything especially this you can come to us no questions asked.” She said and you nodded swallowing back tears.

“I needed to hear that today. Thanks wands.” You whispered.

“Any time L/n” Nat said and you smiled before the three of you went back to eating.

“So what do u wanna do today?” Wanda asked and you frowned.

“I thought we had to do team activities.” You said.

“We did but we got us out of it. We are all your for the day.” Wanda smiled and you blinked.

“Is it ok if we just stay here and I can draw you don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to.”

“Nonsense. You’re our get out of jail free card that’s too good to waste. Especially because I know Steve’s gonna want to go on a run at some point and will probably drag the whole team along. You have come in very useful my good friend.” Nat winked and you laughed.

That day was spent drawing the campground and anything interesting your could find in your sketchbook while Nat and Wanda relaxed. Chatting or reading. At one point Nat was sharpening her knives which she said she had been meaning to do for months and thanked you for getting them the time off.

“I didn’t really do much.” You smiled shrugging.

“That’s the idea.” Wanda laughed. “Can I see your sketches?” She asked

“Umm.. sure some aren’t finished yet.” You said handing her the book. She leafed through the pages in awe.

“Y/n these are amazing I never knew you could draw like this.” She said looking at the sketches of the campground there were even some portraits of the team which Wanda traced with careful fingers. “Nat come look at this.” She said and you blushed and she turned back to you. “If that’s ok?”

“Yeah that’s fine I’m just not used to the attention Peter caught me drawing on the roof once other than that not many people bother to look through my sketchbooks.” You shrugged.

“You have more of these?” Nat asked looking up from where she was studying the art. “They are very impressive y/n/n” she said.

“Yeah that’s my twelfth sketchbook.”

“I’d love to see the others when we get back to the tower. If that’s ok?” Wanda said.

“Yeah sure they’re not as good though.” You said. After a while the handed the book back along with a few more compliments which had you blushing unused to such honest praises.

The morning went quickly and soon you were having lunch with the team again who was sweaty and gross. You laughed as Clint chased Nat around with his arms wide threatening a sweaty hug. Her face has you in stitches as Wanda reminded you to breathe through her own laughter. Peter complained about never getting time off and tony playfully whacked him saying he shouldn’t ever wish for anything like girls anatomy. Stark shuddered thinking about pepper and her rage when on her period. Sometimes she was cuddles and joy and others she was threatening to give him the company back to manage. He still loved her though and held her hair back when the cramps made her throw up.

Later the team all went off with Steve again to do some survival training while you Nat and Wanda all went back to relaxing. Nat noticed you wincing later and silently gave you more meds and you thanked her.

“No problem kid you were due another dose to anyway.” She said and Wanda passed you a glass of water she had conjured.

The afternoon went off without a hitch and soon it was evening again. Wanda made sure to give you extra strength meds before bed this time so they would last the night and hopefully you wouldn’t wake up. You slept until late morning as Nat glared at anyone who tried to wake you up. Soon all the tents were pack down but yours and Nat pulled your sleepy form from the sleeping bag and placed you in Wanda’s lap. She packed down the tent and you snuggled into her stomach as you curled into a ball on her thighs.

Soon the quinjet landed and Wanda used her magic to block the noise for you so you stayed sleeping. The next time you woke you were in Wanda’s bed still on her lap. Nat was sat by Wanda’s side reading a book propped up on her bend knees.

“Morning sweets. Guess where we are?” Wanda said and you smiled recognising the room.

“We’re home.” You cheered and Wanda nodded.

“No go take a shower stinky.” She said and you grinned. “I left you some of my clothes on the sink and a new pad for you. We’ll have a hot water bottle, chocolate, snacks and a movie marathon waiting when you’re done.” She said and you gave her an appreciative thumbs up as you shut the door. As girls you didn’t mind sharing beds or bathrooms after all the three of you were very close.

That day was spent being pampered by your two favourite women and eating a boatload of chocolate. If this was what periods were like… maybe they weren’t all bad.

MASTERLIST

[dawnoftime22]

to feel alive.

| N.R

Warnings: slight ooc!nat in the rain if you squint? other than that, none!

Summary: you invite nat to go in the rain with you for the first time, and it turns out to be a perfect memory.

Word Count: 1k

Category: Fluff!

A/N: listen to almost (sweet music) by hozier if you want to feel this fic as a whole. it was playing in the background as I wrote it with the rain outside <3

or fearless by taylor swift :]

| Started on 03/04/2023, 4:20 PM |

| Finished on 13/05/2023, 8:16 AM |

Masterlist

“What is better than a small moment of

your time, just to feel alive?”

|——————————— ⴵ ———————————|

"It's raining outside, do you wanna come out with me?" You ask, standing by the bedroom window, turning your head to look at her.

"To do what?" She had her eyebrows furrowed, as if it wasn't already from the work she was doing on the bed, but this time its mixed with confusion.

"Whatever feels right?" You shrug, the sentence having made its way out without you meaning to.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Natasha asked, clueless as to the point of getting wet in the rain and being cold until you get sick.

"I meaaan, I'm just inviting you to come out in the rain with me." You try to convince her, but she held her ground.

"Y/N, I have a mission report to finish, and we'll get soaked." She says, but you didn't care about getting soaked. In fact, it's what makes it so fun.

"So, then we'll just dry ourselves using towels." You give her a reason to push her to the edge of giving in.

"It'll make us look like kids." She countered.

"And who cares about that? We're gonna have a lot of fun, I promise... Please?" When she finally looked up from her mission report and saw that face of yours, she lets out a sigh.

"Only if you tell me why you wanna go out in the pouring rain." She raises her eyebrows, her head tilting in question.

"To just run around and feel alive!" You throw your hands up, before putting them in the pockets of your sweatpants, leaning against the wall near the window. You raised your own eyebrows at her, awaiting her reply.

"I'll give you cuddles when we get back inside?" You offered. Although she was already about to give her answer of acceptance before you added to your sentence, it did make her perk up from her mission report just a little more.

She saw the desperation seeping through your face. The rain started to settle down just a little more, so maybe it wouldn't be so bad. "...Fine," her shoulders dropped a bit, showing that she was giving in.

"Yes!" You cheered, grabbing your jacket so it wouldn't be as cold. Even though you knew there's probably a chance that you'll get sick once you're done either way.

"I really did fall in love with an idiot." Nat mumbled under her breath, but you still heard her.

"But you still love me!" You say, walking out the door while looking at her with a beaming face. Her eyes were fixed on you, and she smiled before shaking her head at your little antics.

You went off out the front door, as she grabbed her own jacket and followed you not long after.

Once you got outside, the cold air hit you, and woke you up from whatever calm state you were in. But it had only made you more excited to spend time in the rain.

You walked to where there isn't a roof over your head. You walked to the empty road.

She smiled endearingly at you as she stared at how you had your arms out, with your head up, and just taking in everything this weather is giving you. It was like watching an angel. And yet, all you did was watch the sky in awe. In fact, you could even be in love with the sky, too. But you looked at her just the same when you changed your direction.

"Come on, get over here!" You shouted over the rain as Natasha stood near the entrance still, where she was protected from the earth showering her. Slowly, she walked closer to you, like a careful cat. Honestly, she's been hanging around Liho too much.

You offered your hand out to her, as if you were to ask her for a dance. She took it, and you pulled her into the rain and she let out a small yelp. You let out a giggle at her reaction, and when she got out of the shock of how the rain hit her, she started to laugh because of it, and because of your giggle.

You start running around, careful enough not to trip. But she would be there to catch you, anyway. The droplets of rain could be felt on every inch of skin that it could reach. You felt alive.

Soft laughter filled the space. Even with the sound of the rain in the background, you could hear it so clearly.

"I love you." She said, suddenly, admiring you in the rain.

"What?" You shouted in an act of confusion.

"I love you!" She shouted over the sound of the rain, and it turned silent for a second. You laughed. You could hear her the first time she said it, you just wanted to hear it again in this precious moment.

"I love you more!!" You say in the middle of laughing.

"You're crazy for this, you know." She shoved her hands in her jackets pockets as the cold rain started to freeze her, and you pull her closer to you by having your hands around her waist. Your warmth radiated off of your body and it made her less cold.

"But its fun." You say almost under your breath, but she caught it. Smiling, you kiss her softly even with the water on your lips.

"It is." She leans her her head against yours when you pulled away, closing her eyes and relishing in this moment that she thought would just get her all cold and it would be for nothing but getting her clothes wet, but it's better than any other memory by far.

The both of you start swaying to a made up rhythm, your head resting on her shoulder, not caring the fact that either of you were covered in raindrops.

. . .

The blonde's soft green eyes scan over the two figures in front of her, trying to figure out what the two of you have been doing. "What happened to you two? Did you go out in the rain or something?"

"Yeah, basically." You shrugged with a smile

"I can't believe you convinced my сестра (sister) to get soaked in the rain with you..."

"My turn now!"

-----------------

taglist <3 - join here! :]

@notevenanna

[justkending]

Finding Memories. Chapter 4.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Chapter Word Count: 3400+

TW: Torture, cussing, and blood. 

A/N: I finished chapter five yesterday, and am currently working on chapter 6 after I post this. Also, Happy New years! I hope this upcoming year is everything you all manifested and hope for. It’s all about setting those intention and acting as if the things you want are already happening for you:) Love you all and here’s to 2023! xoxoxox

Chapter 4:

A week and three days at the compound had passed. Y/N had become more comfortable with her environment and had been introduced slowly to a few more members of the team.

Parker had been a little overwhelming at first, but quickly his dorkiness and clumsy side showed he wasn't a threat to her. If anything, he was more helpful in the pop culture area than he had been for the 100-year-old soldier.

When he was doing history homework at the kitchen island one night after a meeting, Y/N's curiosity brought her to him and she learned about the different wars including the Cold War, WWI, and WWII. Of which Bucky and Steve had a few comments on when Peter knew just the right questions to ask to bring up stories.

Wanda had shown Y/N how to cook a few simple and easy meals in case she was hungry and didn't want to microwave a frozen meal. Oatmeal, soup, and grilled sandwiches of different varieties had become favorite ways for her to have some independence.

Nat helped her add to her wardrobe besides sweats and sweatshirts that only held up for a short-term stay, whereas her stay was looking to be longer and longer due to no updates in her case.

It gave her a chance to try out some new style pieces even if they were only for casual and lounge-type situations. It was better than the gray and black sweatpant materials for all articles of clothing she had been wearing the first few days here.

She was still discovering her likes and dislikes from all the different genres of fashion, but at the end of the day, she liked the simple yet comfortable look.

One night, Wanda, Nat, and herself spent the majority of their movie night just online shopping for her new wardrobe with Tony's credit card.

Bucky had walked in and seen the James Bond movies Nat was obsessed with playing in the background as the three were pointing out different websites and styles they thought she would like. The exploding car on the giant movie screen did nothing to pull the three away from the smaller screen in front of them.

And on the nights Y/N had enough energy and enough people were there, the team would host a movie night in the theater room and each took turns sharing their favorite movie with her in hopes to add to their fan club.

Nat stuck with a different variation of James Bond movies for the most part, wanting to show the differences in actors and how they carry out the idolized role of 007. That and to make note of where she got the inspiration for some of her moves.

Wanda stuck to old 50's films or movies that were set in that decade. She had a love for the classics, but she was moving through her favorite decade movies the more movie nights they had.

Steve chose historical movies but was kind enough to do historical fiction to please the boos and annoyed grumbles from his friends.

Sam's choices ranged from classics that everyone needed to see, to rom-coms from the 90s. He argued that his sister was the reason he had started watching them, and he didn't really care to stop.

And the Parker kid... His were all old 70's and 80's sci-fi movies. Bucky never quite understood them, but they were interesting concepts. At this point, he had fought space aliens and Star Wars just seemed odd after that.

Bucky never suggested a movie as he was just happy to see that Y/N was truly comfortable with the team about a week in. It was impressive how fast she trusted them, but also it's hard to be shocked by how fast it all happened when you had a team like theirs.

Right now, Wanda and Y/N were out on a walk around the compound. They found themselves scheduling times to walk and talk by the waterside behind the facility. Wanda was also one to know what it was like to be experimented on in a lab. Though her situation was different, as she had volunteered, it didn't mean that trauma for her reasoning and what happened after didn't affect her.

Bucky could see them walking back into the compound from the seat by the window he was at. He put his book down and slowly started making his way to the kitchen.

Steve had walked in shortly before him and was grabbing a protein shake from the fridge.

"Hey, I thought you were going to meet me in the gym earlier," Steve spoke up, removing his headphones which sat on his neck after spotting his friend.

"Yeah, sorry, I needed to run an errand," Bucky replied, moving to lean on the island opposite him.

"All good. I figured something came up," Steve waved off, taking a long drink.

"Hey, quick question," Bucky spoke up. Steve hummed for him to continue. "You don't think it's too early to take her out in public do you?"

"Y/N?" Steve questioned, even though he knew to whom he was referring.

"Yeah, I just don't want to freak her out if she's not ready for that," Bucky explained.

"Well, I don't think it's a bad idea. But why exactly do you want to?" he asked.

"We haven't got any updates on her since Bruce got back to me on the blood analysis. As you know, Nat said the system crashed while she was hacking it and wiped half of the memory on it. The little bits and pieces of her case have been sorted through with a fine-toothed comb. We're running out of things to narrow down what happened to her and what the purpose of her being the weapon could be." Bucky sighed as he said his thoughts aloud and continued to think about what he could do. "Her memory isn't getting much better."

"That's not true," Steve nodded off, twisting the cap to his drink back on, and walked to get a glass of water. "She remembered her birthday the other day and she hadn't even seen her own file."

"True, but information-wise, that was something we already knew," Bucky shrugged.

"But it's still a part of the process," he countered and Bucky shut down as he thought more. "Look, it's like you said. The safer her environment and the more comfortable she becomes in who she is and where she is, she'll start to unlock some of those memories."

"That's the thing, the stuff we need to unlock aren't necessarily the things I want to unlock..."

Steve could see the hurt and conflict on his friend's face. He knew in order to help her and everyone around her, the ugly things would have to be sorted through first. They were at a standstill when it came to the next step in the investigation. With most of the data lost, it meant they needed to find a different route around it.

One of those options being to provoke her trauma and have her relive it to get details from it.

"Then start small. Think of a place that's public, but gives you a sense of peace still. What's a place you would go to clear your mind, but also helps ignite some deeper thoughts?" Steve offered a solution.

Bucky hesitated as nothing came to mind immediately then it sparked in him.

"I think I have a place," he replied.

Perfect timing, Wanda and Y/N walked into the kitchen.

"Hey, guys," Wanda greeted.

"Hey," Steve replied. "How's the weather out today?" he asked in casualty.

"It's chilly, but nothing too bad," she answered, grabbing fruit from the basket on the counter. "Y/N and I found that duck family on the pond again."

"About time for them to head south soon, huh?" Steve continued.

"Give or take a week," she nodded, peeling an orange. "What are you guys up to?"

Bucky watched as Y/N did her best to blend into the background of the group and not stick out. She may be comfortable with them, but trauma doesn't heal overnight. Her need to not be a centerpiece was a behavior developed from being under constant surveillance most of her past.

"I'm about to head down to the lab to talk with Stark and Banner about something," Steve answered. "Which reminds me, I think there was something Bruce wanted to ask your opinion on. Wanna go down there with me?"

Bucky knew it was his friend's way to give him and Y/N a second to talk, but it was subtle and no one picked up on the actual reason for his invitation.

"Yeah, sure," Wanda nodded, quickly throwing away the peel and saying goodbye to the two as she followed the blonde.

"How are you feeling today?" Bucky asked after a few seconds of silence.

The night before, Bucky had heard sounds coming from her room that sounded as though things were crashing and breaking. He had knocked, but never actually waited for a response as he knew something wasn't right.

She was having a nightmare that initiated a panic attack upon waking up.

He had noticed as soon as he walked in that the lamp on her bedside table had been pushed off and shattered on the ground. She was still on the bed asleep, but before he could make it to her bed, she jumped up and was panting for air.

Her eyes were scanning the room for threats and upon seeing a large dark frame in the corner, she reached for something to protect her and managed to throw a remote at Bucky.

Her aim was surprisingly accurate for being in such a state of distress and for being in the complete dark, but Bucky was quick and caught it before it could hit him square in the eyes.

Once she recognized who he was, her adrenaline came crashing down quickly triggering a panic attack from everything put together.

He had to console her but realized quickly she didn't want to be touched. He kept his distance at the end of the bed as she curled into herself and he coached her through a breathing exercise.

About 45 minutes later, he could hear her heart rate slow down to a normal speed. Once he knew she wasn't in a high alert stage anymore, he offered a drink of water to help calm her nerves some more, but all she asked was that he stayed in the room. He still kept his distance but understood that she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts.

He was just glad he could be some form of peace in those types of moments even if the most he could do was sit and help her from the sidelines.

The event seemed to make her quieter this morning and afternoon. He contemplated if today would be a good day to even try Steve's idea.

She cleared her throat and nodded before answering.

"I'm doing better. Every other day I have a night like last night and it just leaves me pretty tired the next day..." Made sense. "I think I may need a change in routine truthfully," she added.

It was the perfect window to suggest his idea and he was slightly surprised that she was the one to ignite the solution.

"I was actually wondering if you'd be up for somewhere outside the compound," he hinted.

Her eyebrows raised at that.

"In New York?" she questioned.

"I have a place in mind and don't think it'll be too overstimulating," he noted. "I know that it's a big step from a place you just got your groundings in, but I'm hoping maybe it'll help with your memories as well."

"What did you have in mind?" She had a look of interest and Bucky knew he had her attention.

________________________

After getting changed for a public outing, Bucky grabbed a car from the garage and helped her in.

It was nice seeing her normal day-to-day clothes that she had a choice in. Her style was simple yet classic as Bucky could best put it.

She had put on a pair of high-waisted jeans with a gray turtleneck sweater tucked in and a cropped winter coat that fell just below her waistline. Her hair was down and had a slight wave to it from brushing it out after the shower and sleeping on it.

She looked like a normal civilian and a part of Bucky's heart was happy that she could have that experience now.

The ride there was pretty quiet for the most part. Bucky noticed Sam had left a CD in the car from a past trip and Y/N took in her surroundings while listening, deciding if she liked each song or not.

Bucky eventually found parking and came around her side to open the door for her. Whereas she would normally leave enough space between her and those around her to have room to escape if need be, Bucky noticed that she was a lot closer to him now in the new crowds.

It made sense as he was the only one she knew the intentions of while walking on the crowded sidewalk in New York.

Luckily the place they were going to wouldn't be as crowded and was just around the corner.

Bucky paid for their tickets and thanked the worker in the booth. He could tell she knew the place they were in from reading the sign outside, but her eyes showed she wasn't quite sure if she had actually been to an Art Museum before.

"What are you thinking?" he asked when he handed her the ticket and paused with her as she took in her surroundings.

"Hmm?" she hummed as if being brought out of her thoughts. "Oh, um." She paused trying to think. "Something about this atmosphere seems..."

He had become used to her sentences never being completed as most of the time she never quite knew how to put things into words.

"Familiar?" he asked.

"I guess something like that," she shrugged looking back at him.

"I'm hoping we can help figure out what makes it familiar," Bucky replied. "And if not, then it's just a new experience you get to add to your story."

Y/N smiled at his patience with her. She felt amity about the man in front of her that allowed her to lower her walls just a little more with each moment she spent with him.

"Have you been here before?" she asked, nodding to the gallery that waited in front of them.

"A few times," he answered. "There are a few pieces I want to show you once we get past these if you're up for it."

"Lead the way," she approved, staying a close step behind him as he began walking toward the art.

They got through about three different rooms of modern and portrait types of art. There were a few sculptures and abstract pieces as well.

Though she was intrigued by the forms of media, nothing seemed to spark much of her past...

What Bucky did notice though was her trait as an observer was still prevalent. With each piece of art she was intrigued by, she took the time to read the backstory, the artist's thoughts, and how they went about the piece from their perspective.

She made comments about the ones that were inspired by loved ones or someone close to the artist, saying things about how sweet and nice it is to see that type of love in the world. It was actually one of the same reasons Bucky loved museums like this.

In a life where the world has only shown you the pain and anger it holds, it's refreshing to see that there are merciful things in the same world. It gives a sense of hope to the ones who have yet to experience it.

"This part of the exhibit is my favorite," Bucky whispered as they turned a new corner.

Inside there was an immersive part of the art show. On the walls, floor, and ceiling; famous paintings and murals were in motion as they were projected on every part of the room.

It switched as they sat and watched the pictures slowly spin and flow around them as if they were in the painting itself.

Her mouth opened in shock and she looked all around her as she tried to comprehend the impressive spectacle.

"This is," she started, but again, couldn't find the words to finish it.

"I know exactly what you mean," Bucky chuckled, knowing that kind of response from experience.

The reason he had brought her to this was because it was his gateway to diving into the experiences he wasn't sure he had before. It was a way to put oneself in new environments and spark pieces of the past without having to travel outside one room.

They found a bench close to the back wall and perfectly positioned to be out of the traffic in the room and to watch it from all the best angles. Bucky couldn't help the grin that grew on his face as she was enamored at the changing colors and scenery in front of them.

And his grin only grew when she let a smile grace her lips.

That was until she saw The Starry Night by Van Gough and her face went from fascinated to freaked out.

Bucky knew that look from a mile away. That was the look of familiarity. Whether it was good or bad was unclear, but considering she looked troubled by the new scene, he was worried it was bringing up bad memories.

"Y/N?" he asked when he saw her eyes searching the room as if for an answer she was worried to discover. "Hey, you ok?"

For a split second, he could see the stars reflect in her eyes before she blinked rapidly and brought her hand to her head as if an instant headache had hit her.

"Um, yeah," she tried to shake it off.

As a reflex and without thinking, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder in an attempt to ground her some, but all it did was startle her. She jumped at the contact causing Bucky to take his hand back quickly.

She noticed the anxiety she had passed to him and started stumbling out an apology.

"I'm sorry... I d-didn't mean to jump. I-I-," she was taking short breaths in. "I, um," she looked around. "Is there a bathroom somewhere?" she asked, fidgeting uneasily in her seat.

"Yeah. I mean, yes," he stood up and gave her space as he motioned for her to follow him.

Luckily the bathroom was just around the corner and she excused herself quickly as she rushed in.

He was concerned for her but figured it was best to give her space. Trying to eavesdrop on her inside, and checking to make sure she wasn't having a panic attack, he stayed close to the door.

Just as he had tuned in, the intercom of the art exhibit started playing through the halls. It was louder than needed and the spy in him marked it as strange. It started with a simple announcement and then music to go along with the show went up in volume.

Another woman turned the corner and gave him a slight smile as she excused herself by him to use the bathroom herself.

The conversations of a few other bypassers Bucky had eavesdropped on, noted how the volume level was louder than usual and Bucky's instincts seemed to feel buzzed. Then he heard it. The lock on the bathroom door clicked.

It was a multi-person bathroom so the need for a lock on the exit door wasn't exactly for privacy. Something was wrong.

A muffled scream made him kick into action. The sound issue was a distraction.

"Y/N!" he turned to the door, banging it with his fist.

Again he heard muffled noises covered by metal doors being slammed into and what sounded like something being thrown and crashing into the wall.

"Y/N!" he shouted, this time knowing for a fact she was in trouble.

It would take more than a common lock to keep the soldier out. With a quick and calculated kick to the door, the crack of the lock busted against the wood and splintered the threshold.

The scene in front of him instantly switched him into fight mode.

If you would like to be tagged in this series, please send an ask here. Thank you:)

Finding Memories Taglist: (some would not let me tag. so if you see your name but didn’t get the notification, double check if your blog allows tags:)

@tinkerbelle67 @a-beaverhausen @caruhleener @fanfictionjunkie1112 @sjsmith56 @nancymcl @kaygilles​

Marvel Tags:

@thejourneyneverendsx​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @mythos-writes​  @srrymydood​ @xa-dia​ @redhairedfeistynerd​ @morganclaire4​ @connie326​ @captain-asguard​ @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ @teenagedreams-bucky​ @shower-me-with-roses​ @livstilinski​ @basicallylool​ @starryeyeseunbyul​

My Lovelies forever:

@natura1phenomenon​ @lauravicente​ @kakakatey​ @traceyaudette​ @notyourtypicalrose​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​ @sandlee44​ @thorne93​ @thefaithfulwriter1​ @essie1876​ @greyeyedsmile14​ @capsiclehan​  @xostephanie​ @averyrogers83​ @awesomenursingstudent​ @gh0stgurl​ @cs-please​ @jjlevin​ @rainbowkisses31​ @deannotmoose​ @their-bibliophile​ @kitkatd7​ @willowbleedsonpaper​ @mariaenchanted​ @snffbeebee​ @couldabeenamermaid​ @rebekahdawkins​ @alyispunk​ @billyseye @hallecarey1​

Bucky Barnes Tags:

@chloe-skywalker​ @charmedbysarge​ @jbarness​ @bellamy-barnes​ @katiaw2​ @aikeia​ @stopjustlovethemcu​ @enchantedbarnes​

[little-wing-and-branching-vines]

Hello. My name is Nathaniel Wilds. You can just call me Nat if you want. My friend Dimi Wobbler and I were both... separated from our original worlds and have been attempting for about a year now to find them again. If they’re still there. This device I’m typing on is called the DIRT and it’s supposed to help us travel between dimensions. Except it’s broken, and we’re stuck here.

I am… it’s hard to explain. I came from the trees and grasses and animals of my world, of Dallas. But I’m a person now. He/him and they/them are both fine.

Dimi is a bird, a radio broadcaster, and my friend. They/them pronouns. They're energetic and kind and they always have a lot to say. Maybe sometimes too much, but I don't mind. They... probably would have written this post better than I can.

I don’t know what else to add. Hope this was sufficient.

Hi! Dimi here! Hey, you didn't do a bad job with this, Nat! Besides the part where you said I talk too much. Maybe it's just that you talk too little! Anyway, Nat and I are traveling to Lumiose City to meet with the professor there. We're hoping he can help us! We've also made friends with a few pokemon along the way:

Chester - Quilladin (M)

Silas - Bibarel (F)

Now let me pass it off to our other correspondent who posts here sometimes!

Hola, you can call me Yvonne! (//OOC: This is Serena) I just moved to Kalos from Paldea, and I use she/her pronouns. I'm not really sure what I'm doing on my journey yet, but I suppose I'm going to learn about the fashions of Kalos and try the gym challenge? And of course, hang out with this strange little group I've found myself traveling with! ^u^ The other "correspondents" as Dimi calls them, don't directly post here very much, but they are as follows:

"Xavier" - Battle Correspondent //OOC: Calem

"Ribbon" - Miscellaneous Correspondent //OOC: Shauna

Tierno - Dance Correspondent

"Maple" - Research Correspondent //OOC: Trevor

//OOC under the cut

Hello wonderful people of rotomblr! I have been wanting to make this blog for literally MONTHS now, and I’ve finally gotten my shit together enough to do so!! 

This is kind of a Faller blog in that Nathaniel Wilds and Dimi Wobbler are very much not from the pokemon world. But unlike most Fallers, they were traveling the multiverse intentionally. They just kind of… got stuck for a bit.

To be clear, Nat and Dimi are not original characters. They are relatively minor characters from a certain discontinued horror sports simulator, DM me if you want more details, I just don’t want to mention it outright because I don’t want to clog that fandom’s search results. My interpretations of them take a lot of inspiration from fandom-created lore, but they’re probably different from a lot of other interpretations too. People who are familiar with these characters may not agree with my interpretation- that’s fine, everyone’s ideas are valid! Just please don’t enforce your interpretations onto me or otherwise be an asshole about it.

A lot of this blog will focus more on these two going through the plot of Kalos than their pasts, but that being said their pasts will definitely come up sometimes. And the source they’re from can get quite dark. Topics that might come up include death (including death by fire specifically), grief, apocalypses, loss of agency, loss of identity, body horror, unreality, and potentially other upsetting things. All of these will be tagged, and please ask if there’s anything else you’d like me to tag. If you want to avoid any posts that go in-depth into the more traumatic parts of their backstories, block the tag #short circuited memories.

This blog is following a playthrough of the mod Eternal X of Pokemon X. So some NPCs' teams might be different from Vanilla X, this is why.

Magic anons are off. Pelipper/Musharna mail is on. Eebies and sentient pokemon are definitely free to interact!

I am an adult, but no NSFW asks please. There won’t be any heavy NSFW on this blog at all, but idk, if I make a lightly NSFW joke or something, it will be properly tagged as NSFW. 

In general, I will probably ignore any ask that makes me uncomfortable- no judgment to whoever sent the ask in that case of course, I just might not be up for engaging with certain things.

Finally, here’s a reference image of my interpretation of Nat and Dimi. I used this picrew (https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/1414503) as a base and modified it for Nat, then pasted a drawing of Dimi I did onto it:

And here’s just my drawing of Dimi:

I hope you all enjoy this! I know I will!

[bippot]

All Over Again - Chapter 1

Story Summary -> When he used to say that he wished he could fall in love with his wife all over again, Bob may have jinxed himself. Yet, the process of knowing her once more wasn't as smooth as he'd used to think.

Honestly, he doesn't know which is worse - his broken bones or the fact she can't seem to forget who he once was?

Chapter 1: All Over Again Summary -> Bob gets in an accident and will never be the same again.

Tags -> Angst, Amnesia, Established Relationship, Memory Loss, Airplane Crashes, Major Character Injury, Hospitals, True Love, Love at First Sight,Married Couple

Would you prefer to read this on AO3? Click here!

Bob had noticed it back in flight school. Whether they were in class or at a bar or watching a movie - anything other than flying really - Y/N would be playing around with his hands. She'd always do it. Sometimes unconsciously. Sometimes not.

His favourite was always when she would wrap her hand around his and gently trace random shapes into his palm. He never minded. In fact, it was pretty nice. Calming, actually. The sensation of her soft skin moving against his made something stir inside him. Thanks to this revelation, it became a method of calming him down. If he was ever anxious, he'd start trailing patterns across his hand. It wasn't as effective if he did it to himself, but it still worked, which was better than nothing.

So that's how he stood, standing there with his suit on with Nat beside him, making circles against his palm. Those circles were ten, maybe twenty times more heavy handed than Y/N would ever do. He took the time to imagine that it was Y/N's thumb, that she was here on the mission with him.

"You ready, Specs?" Nat teased, hoping that a little bit of back and forth would ease his mind. It didn't. Bob nodded stiffly back at her, and the pair began to walk to their plane.

Looking back, he had been correct in his worries that day. Only that day. All of the other times he'd thought the mission was going to go wrong, he was pleasantly surprised when it went right. That is, until it went wrong. Severely wrong. Engine failure whilst you're miles up in the sky in a metal box kind of wrong.

Bob had been in an accident. Lieutenant Floyd had been in the backseat as Lieutenant Trace's plane decided to call it quits on them. Robert James Floyd had been in the air one minute and the next he was being hauled to safety by Natasha Jade Trace. That's what she was told. Y/N knew it was the truth - why else would they have said it? - but no, she wasn't going to believe it until she saw it.

Then she saw Nat. She'd gotten away far better than Bob had. Alive but unconscious. Not a good sign. All of the wires and drugs they were pumping into her wasn't a good sign either. Phoenix had too many broken bones: who knows how many ribs? well, it's certainly 12 or below; an arm; a collarbone; a few fingers and a few toes. She got off easy.

For the first handful of hours, Y/N wasn't allowed to see her husband. He was busy. Surgery can take a long time, especially if you've broken most of the bones in your body. There needed to be some reconstruction to Bob before he was allowed out of the theatre and Y/N knew that more injuries would present themselves when he woke.

In the meantime, Y/N kept herself occupied by watching over Phoenix. Poor Nat had woken up to a doctor prodding her and scanned the room for answers. She found Y/N's face. A waterfall of tears and apologies poured out of Nat immediately, but Y/N was quick to soothe her.

"Hey, if anything, we should blame the plane. Its fault for giving up on the two of you. I'm going to fly out to the middle of the ocean and give those scraps a good yelling at," Y/N told her, smiling slightly despite everything.

Yeah, she was worried out of her goddamn mind, yet two blubbering messes wouldn't help anything. So, Y/N stayed strong for now. Just for the time being. There would be a moment when every single emotion would be laid bare, but this was not it. She could wait it out. For now.

"Move over a little, Nix."

Nat shuffled over to let Y/N lie down next to her on the hospital bed and was quick to press her face into her friend's shoulder, sobbing and shaking as the reality of what had happened sank in for her. Phoenix was distraught. How could she not be? Y/N put her arm around her friend's shoulders and stroked her hair softly, letting Nat cry into her neck. When the inevitable, "It's all my fault," lie popped up, Y/N was ready to argue otherwise. She held onto Nat tighter as she did so. No matter what state Bob ended up in, she was never going to let that sentiment slide.

The two most important women in Bob's life lay side by side on Nat's hospital bed and held each other tight all night. Nat's head was resting against Y/N's chest when they finally fell asleep, arms wrapped tightly around each other, both holding onto hope that Bob would wake and be perfectly okay. They knew that was delusional. But you've got to hope. Just holding onto someone felt like it could be okay someday.

Due to her injuries and the fact that sobbing can take a lot of energy, Phoenix fell asleep fast, lulled into a slumber by the rhythmic motion of Y/N running gentle fingers through her hair. It was soothing but still very painful at the same time for Y/N.

And once Y/N was sure Nat was firmly asleep, she let herself cry. Cry silently. She felt so useless just sitting there, tears streaming down her cheeks and her eyes grew blurry with grief. It was going to happen but Y/N was just relieved she held it together long enough that Nat didn't have to witness it. Every time her mind tried to focus on the current situation, it would jump from one horrible thought to another. The main one that kept bouncing around her skull was how the hell would she tell Bob's dad if he died?

Like his son, Bob Senior had that face. That look. That damn, stupid, determined, sweet look that seemed to always make Y/N want to keep him happy no matter the cost. His kind, easy-going nature had been imprinted on Bob Junior from a very young age, that could be gleaned easily. Y/N had noticed it mere minutes into her first introduction to Bob's parents.

There was just something about the Floyd men, a lightness, a smile and an attitude that radiated warmth, sunshine. She didn't want night to come and take that shine away.

It was around half four in the morning when Bob came out of surgery and was transferred to the room he'd come to spend the next few weeks in. Y/N hadn't slept. She couldn't. As soon as she saw the doctor approach, she quickly wiped her tears away with the back of her hand and tried to make it look like she hadn't been falling apart for the last couple of hours before she woke Nat up with the news.

Yet, Nat noticed. Reaching out with a weak and wired hand, Nat brushed her pointer across Y/N's cheek to wipe some of the wetness away. The exchange was silent. Just a gentle touch that said everything it needed to in that moment.

At that point, the doctors had no idea what state Bob was going to wake up in. From the outside he looked banged up - as he should - but they'd stitched his wounds and bandaged his injuries. He was alive, breathing, stable, and sleeping peacefully. Now they just had to wait till he woke.

If he woke, the doctors reminded her.

Seeing Phoenix in such a state was manageable - not nice at all but bearable - because she was awake and it was possible to visibly assess her injuries in seconds. Not to minimise the pain Natasha was feeling, but it was simple. It was broken bones and a broken ego. Those can be fixed.

Slowly, Y/N inched her way closer to Bob's unconscious body. Despite how much she needed to be by his side, every step was as if she was walking on glass. With all the pain and worry in her heart, there was only one thought running through Y/N's mind. She didn't want Bob to wake up alone and scared so, with all the courage it needed, she got closer and closer until she was by his side.

"Hi pretty boy, hey handsome...I'm here and please take enough time as you need to wake up," Y/N whispered as gently as she could manage, caressing his cheek softly as tears continued to fall. With a sad chuckle, she added, "Although, it would be nice if you could do it as soon as possible. No pressure."

There was no response, no movement to indicate that she'd even heard Y/N. Still, Y/N stayed right beside him. She watched every single inhale. Examined every exhale. Every twitch. Every single moment that proved her husband was moderately okay was under insane scrutiny.

Maybe he was dreaming right now. She hoped he was having a wonderful dream of home, safe and sound and perfectly domestic.

"I love you. I know you know that and we say it all the time, but I don't know, you always get that goofy look on your face whenever I say it. And we've been together for years and you still react like the first time I said it to you. It's cute, really really cute."

She wished her words actually carried any magic to them. Because, right now, she honestly believed they did not. They meant nothing. They didn't heal him. They couldn't save him from whatever had happened to him. And they certainly weren't helping her calm down.

In truth, they were useless. She was useless.

Her voice cracked. She tilted her head towards the ceiling and tried to stop herself from breaking even further. And as she went to say something else, her throat closed up. She couldn't speak anymore. Her bottom lip quivered and she promptly bit down on it to stop the pained squeak from getting through.

Eventually, she passed out with her hand in his. It was a nice couple of hours of nothingness. A brief moment where she didn't have to look at her mangled husband. Or hear the beep of the heart rate monitor. Or smell the insufferably impersonal hospital scent that clung to every single piece of furniture. Or think about what the fuck would happen tomorrow.

Tomorrow came. Bob didn't wake. He didn't the next day either. The day after that, however, he opened his eyes.

Completely confused and immensely overwhelmed by all of his senses turning on at once, Bob looked frantically around the room, eyes adjusting slowly to the lights. What the...? Where was he? Who was he? Why did his body hurt all over? And why was some random woman asleep on his hand?

Although, he did have to admit that the random woman was pretty. That was a bonus, a silver lining that he wasn't intending to look for but found anyway. He wasn't sure how many women he'd seen before. This one? Had to be the prettiest, he was sure. That was the only thing he was sure about.

He tried to move but was bombarded with pain. His arms, his legs...his chest and head...everything hurt. Everything hurt a lot. Like badly. Like maybe a bit too badly. His vision began to swim and the edges of his eyeline started getting dark. Was that bad? It probably was.

So, he put all his focus on the pretty girl. He slowed his breathing down to match hers, which was helping him not to hyperventilate at that moment and cause himself more pain. He couldn't be in that much trouble if he had a guardian angel next to him. Surely.

It was taking the entirety of his effort to telepathically try to communicate to her, 'Hey! Wake up!' with minimal success. He was trying his best. He just wanted to ask who she was, who he was and what the hell was happening to him.

Finally, the stranger stirred awake. The first sign was when her fingers automatically began drawing circles against the back of his hand. She was rather surprised when the hand turned over so she could do the same to his palm. Her head shot up and her eyes widened upon seeing Bob awake.

"Hi baby," she greeted in a hushed but excited tone, her voice barely above a whisper just in case he was sensitive to noise, which the doctors had warned her that could be the case.

"Hi," he croaked, coughing a little before clearing his throat. He tried to sit up with difficulty but Y/N placed her hand upon his peck to gently push him back down onto the pillows.

"Just lie there for a while, okay? You need to stay still." Her hand came up to cradle his cheek, brushing her thumb against his cheekbone tenderly. For a few moments, there was silence between them. Nothing but the soft sounds of their breathing until Y/N asked, "Do you know where you are?"

Bob blinked once, twice, three times. "No. I assume I'm in a hospital."

"Miramar General." A few more blinks. "Where do you remember being last?"

Bob gave her a look so vulnerable and helpless, his eyes seemed to glaze over slightly as his brow creased in concentration. "Don't panic. Don't think too hard," she urged him, her other hand resting against his other cheek. "You're gonna hurt yourself. Just relax for me, alright?"

When Bob gave the slightest nod, some smidgeon of relief washed over her. At least he was responsive. He was alive, conscious, aware, and breathing. But he wasn't himself, she could tell just by looking at him. It was in his eyes. There was something missing.

Still, despite being terrified, he managed a smile anyway. He didn't want her to get worried because of his condition so he forced his features into something neutral to make her feel better. If anything, it made her feel worse because she could see right through the act.

Then, it hit her.

"Do you remember me?" She asked quietly, her eyes pleading with him with every single fibre of her being to speak and to tell the truth. The thing missing had been that spark of understanding that they shared. People often said the couple shared a brain.

He gulped.

"No."

Y/N felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. She retracted her hands from his cheeks and let them fall limply to her lap, her eyes twinkling with quickly forming tears as she played what he'd just said in her head over and over again. Her husband doesn't remember her. He doesn't remember anything about their lives, both together and apart.

"Oh...I...Okay then," she mumbled under her breath, letting out a short, awkward laugh. "I should get the doctor."

Before she could move away though, he attempted to catch her wrist but pain flashed across his face and the sudden movement sent his entire body into agony. The sound of his cries alerted Y/N and she rushed to turn back towards him immediately.

Soothingly, she stroked his hair again, whispering sweet nothings, reassuring him, saying it was going to be fine. She repeated this process for a while until he gave her a little nod. Her voice sounded hoarse, so she cleared her throat and said with a small smile, "I'll go get the doctor, okay? Please don't try to move."

"Okay. I'm sorry for not remembering you."

"I know you are, Bobby."

Bobby? That must be his name. Yeah. Bobby. That sounded familiar. Almost familiar. He could imagine people calling him that. Like his parents - he assumed he had parents - he'd like to think he'd be Bobby to them. He felt like a Bobby.

Picking up the button, Y/N pressed for the assistance and was soon being asked to leave as they went over all the tests they needed to do. While he'd been easy-going with her, he was far from it with the doctors. He got agitated and frustrated with all the poking and prodding in seconds flat, causing him to start painfully squirming around and making muffled groans in his throat. He'd lost patience fast with all the stupid questions they asked him.

That was unlike him, Y/N thought. Although, it was understandable considering everything that's happened to him. She stood watching him through the window, her heart aching as she forced herself to stay put. She wasn't supposed to go inside, Y/N knew that, but she desperately wanted to calm him down, and wanted to give him a little bit of comfort.

Out of the corner of his eye, Bob noticed Y/N staring at him, watching him carefully while biting on her fingernails. He stopped resisting the medical professionals' attempts and finally allowed them to examine him. It wasn't that he wasn't grateful for the care, he really was. However, he'd never seen all of these people before and he was feeling very claustrophobic and anxious with them around him.

He wanted Y/N. He desperately wanted Y/N in the room and he didn't even know her name.

As she was waiting, Rooster and Hangman arrived. Jake practically ran towards Y/N and wrapped her in a bear hug, squeezing her so tight she almost couldn't breathe. "I got ya, kid," he mumbled, holding her tightly against his chest before releasing her and taking in her appearance. "When did you last shower?"

Jake's question was answered with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Dude." Rooster punched him in the arm lightly and pushed him out of the way to embrace Y/N. "How are you feeling?"

"Sad." Y/N hugged him and buried her face into his shoulder, sniffing a little. "He just woke up and... and...he doesn't…us, he…" she trailed off, unable to find the strength to actually say it out loud.

"Doesn’t what?" Jake coaxed softly, rubbing soothing circles along the length of Y/N's back.

"He doesn't remember anything."

Tears began falling from Y/N's eyes at that point and she couldn't stop them anymore, no matter how hard she'd tried. She was sobbing, feeling completely overwhelmed with emotion, with pain and guilt all mixed in one gigantic ball. Then Jake wrapped her up in his strong arms one again, holding her up as her legs gave out beneath her and she clung to him for dear life. She cried into his shirt, soaking it with snot and tears and all kinds of gross stuff. He held her as tight as he possibly could without hurting her and whispered soothing words in her ear.

She eventually calmed down enough to pull away, wiping her wet, puffy eyes with her sleeve and sniffing a few times, trying to compose herself. "Sorry. God, I hate crying. It's disgusting," she chuckled halfheartedly, trying to cover her embarrassment. "Brad, do you mind checking on Phoenix, keep her updated? I haven't managed to do it yet today."

Rooster gave her a quick nod of agreement and squeezed her shoulder affectionately before heading toward the direction of Phoenix's room. Hangman stayed by Y/N's side and rubbed gentle circles against her arm while speaking softly to her in an attempt to calm her down.

They'd been friends for years and Jake knew Y/N was tough and brave enough to put up with a lot. She put up with him, after all. Yet, as he held his buddy, he felt tears prick his own eyes. He was unable to help himself. He could see that Y/N was breaking inside. Her facade that she used whenever they flew, which she usually wore with such confidence, had never faltered as much as this before.

Neither of them seemed inclined to say anything else for a while, neither one really knowing what to say that would explain things. They just watched Bob through the window, shoulder to shoulder with each other. Jake wasn't surprised when Y/N let her head fall against his arm and let out an exasperated sigh.

Eventually, the doctors allowed her back in, not without an in depth rundown of what was actually going on. General dissociative amnesia is what the fancy name for it was. His mental functions had broken down due to the excessive stress of the accident and severe trauma he'd suffered. His memories were gone. Completely erased.

His entire life, everything he experienced up until now, was just one big blur.

"Hi again."

Bob waved at Y/N timidly. His voice was still slow and raspy and his body language was even more subdued than usual due to all the drugs they'd given him. Still, he managed to smile slightly, though, if only barely.

"Hi Bobby." She grinned tiredly and walked over very slowly towards him. "Can I come closer?"

He nodded his head slightly and scooted over on his bed a little, giving her plenty of space so she could sit comfortably next to him. She climbed onto the bed hesitantly but he didn't seem annoyed or even phased by it at all. In fact, he welcomed her arrival, smiling a little more as she approached his side. "So, um....How are you feeling?" She asked nervously, looking into his eyes.

"Like I fell from a broken plane into the middle of the ocean and got bad head trauma." His lips curled upwards into another slight smile. "Other than that, I'm kinda tired."

"Do you... do you want me to -" She gestured towards the door. "If you need sleep I can -"

"No! No, don't go." He shook his head at her frantically. "Stay please." He glanced downwards, a blush painting his cheeks red and the tips of his ears turning bright red. "I mean... if you're comfortable with doing so."

Even without his memories, he was still considerate. It made her heart flutter in her chest. A soft silence settled between both of them as they stared at each other for a moment before Bob finally asked something that he'd had on his mind since he'd woken up, "What's your name? I asked the doctor but he was too busy - or wasn't listening, I don't know which - and didn't answer me."

Y/N looked down, fiddling with her fingers awkwardly. "It's Y/N. My name's Y/N," she muttered quietly.

"Y/N," Bob repeated slowly, testing the sound of the word on his tongue. He liked the feel of it. He enjoyed hearing Y/N's name coming from his lips. The sound felt natural, somehow. "Who am I to you, Y/N?"

There was an awkward pause as Y/N contemplated the best way to answer his question, wondering where she should begin, how much to tell him and what exactly she should reveal to him. She didn't want to throw him in the deep end and overwhelm him even further, knowing that he probably already had a pretty heavy load on his plate, but at the same time, Y/N also felt like telling him the truth.

To help him figure it out, she used her left hand to hold his, placing the identical bands on their ring fingers right before his eyes. The action caused him to raise his gaze to look down at their hands, noticing the band of silver glinting under the clinical lightning, then darted to met her eye, his eyebrows raising in surprise.

"No way! I hit the jackpot!" he exclaimed loudly, making Y/N jump a little bit at his sudden exclamation. "I'm married?! To you?!"

A laugh tumbled past her lips, the first one he'd ever heard leave her lips. "You sure are," she smiled widely at him and he returned her expression, laughing in turn. He looked at her with such adoration, his face softening even more, that Y/N couldn't help but beam at him like she always used to whenever he said such a thing.

"Do we have kids?"

Of course that would be high on his list of questions.

"No. Not yet. We were trying."

Honestly, he still couldn't get his head wrapped around the fact that this was his wife! And she was willing to have a family with him! But then again, there were quite a few things that he'd been told about his life that he didn't quite believe. Like, he was in the Navy? He hadn't witnessed much of his personality yet but he knew enough to think, 'Huh, wouldn't have expected that.'

"Trying? How hard?" He couldn't help the smug look on his face as he spoke, a mischievous grin on his lips as well. Y/N rolled her eyes and playfully smacked him in the hand, causing him to chuckle softly.

"Oh my god," she groaned with amusement "You're incorrigible."

Hangman snickered softly from where he stood near the doorway, watching everything unfold, and caught Bob's eye. Y/N followed his gaze and let out a sigh, mumbling, "Hangman, stop being a creep and get in here already."

Jake slowly approached them with a questioning look written across his features, unsure of how he should proceed. Y/N noticed and introduced them, "This is Jake. Despite his face and personality, he's actually a nice guy to be around sometimes."

"Aw Bambi, I didn't know you thought so highly of me!" Hangman teased.

"Bambi?" Bob echoed, staring at Y/N, dumbfounded. "I thought your name was Y/N?"

She huffed out a laugh and brushed comfortingly down his arm. "It's my callsign," she explained and took a breath. "Apparently, I have eyes like an innocent baby deer."

"That's not why and you know it."

"Hangman!" She gave him an incredulous stare but eventually conceded. The truth was that "I, uh, -"

"You fucked her so hard that she couldn't walk properly for three days and it looked like that bit of the movie with the ice lake."

Comically, Bob's eyes widened and his jaw dropped as he turned to look at his partner, who shrugged sheepishly in return. Y/N chuckled and covered her mouth, shaking her head at Hangman who was trying his hardest to suppress his laughter, and turned back to look at Bob, who's expression was now one of complete shock and disbelief.

His cheeks were a bright red colour and he opened and closed his mouth a couple times, struggling for a response to say. He cleared his throat once and managed to get out one simple word, almost choking on it the second it left his mouth, "Whaaaaat?"

The trio kept things light as they joked around and answered all of the questions Bob could currently think of. Although she'd never want to tell him and inflate his ego, Hangman was a god sent. Everytime it seemed as if Y/N was having trouble talking, Hangman managed to put everything together and fill in any gaps with so much charm and humour that Bob didn't notice Y/N's turmoil.

All too soon, the doctor came to check on Bob's vitals. Y/N and Jake stood back and let him do his job, trying to understand all the medical jargon but failing miserably. The entire time, Jake had his arm wrapped around Y/N's shoulders and was squeezing her into his side as they watched the doctor work. And although he'd no real basis to be, Bob couldn't help but feel weird about it. There was no denying how handsome Jake was.

This charismatic Ken doll was touching his wife, admittedly in a comforting and friendly way but nevertheless, there was something there that caused Bob's jaw to clench ever so slightly. Sure, he hadn't been aware she was his wife for all that long, yet his heart knew better than his brain did at this current moment. It was as if, just by simply seeing the way Hangman's arms held onto Y/N, he felt some of the insecurity from his previous consciousness. He felt protective, possessive and totally needy for his woman's attention.

Maybe because she was part of him. A part that he could never forget fully because she had his heart and that was the main driving force of his existence at this moment.

"I brought you a bag full of clothes and shit, do you want to go get it from the car? Use the ensuite?" Jake asked. "You shower and I'll watch over Baby On Board? Sound good?"

"I really stink, don't I?"

"Yeah. You do. Are you gonna shower or not?"

"Yeah, okay. Jesus Jake, won't let a lady wallow in her despair for a bit, will you?"

Jingling his keys as he got them out of his pocket, Jake hovered them before her face, waiting for her to take them and leave with a teasing smile. As soon as her hand came up, he pulled them further from her grasp. "Say 'Oh Hangman, you're my best friend. Thank you for being so kind to me.' Say those words."

Then she did. She did say those exact words and she said them sincerely because they were true. She meant every single one of them. Jake wasn't expecting the sincerity in her voice. His eyes widened in shock and he gave the keys over, trying to hide how touched he was as he choked out, "There we go, kid."

When the doctor finally left, Jake approached Bob's bedside again. "You got a lot of broken bones, dude. Did you break your dick?" Hangman teased and grinned when Bob gave him an exasperated look.

"Broke almost everything but my hands, my neck...and my dick."

"That's rough, man." He patted him sympathetically on the shoulder. "I think I'd be ruined if I broke my dick. That's the worst thing that can happen to a player, y'know?" Jake instinctively added, "Don't tell Roo that I said that."

Obviously, Bob's next question was, "Who's Roo?"

"Sorry! You're so much like you that I forgot about the whole memory thingamabob. Roo is Rooster, also known as the number one moustache wearer, handsome heartthrob, and all-around annoying boyfriend to this guy." Jake pointed to himself. "Real name: Bradley Winifred Bradshaw."

"Winifred?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you. It's Peter, but you believed me, didn't you?"

The two men shared a laugh as they continued joking around. Although Bob was enjoying himself, he made a mental note of all the things Hangman had said to check the validity with Y/N later. And as if on cue, her laugh soon filled through the door frame, along with the sight of a new man walking by her side.

Hangman was speedy to announce, "Fanboy! Took you long enough!" He then turned his head to the side and winked at Bob, giving him a playful nudge and smirk. Jake leaned closer to Bob to loudly whisper, "Me, you and Mickey had a very erotic threesome back in twenty-nineteen. It was strangely tender."

"That's not true," Mickey called out playfully as he walked over towards his friends. He shot a glance towards Bob and smirked in amusement, teasingly adding, "I've been trying to get in your pants for so long now, but no, you're too busy in your loving relationship with your hot wife to see anyone else. It's tragic really."

Y/N slapped both Mickey and Jake on the back of the head as she passed them by. "Take it easy on him, would ya?" She muttered, shooting them an amused grin as she moved to fix Bob's hair. "How are you feeling, lovely?" Her warm touch and loving tone made Bob relax as his body slumped against the pillow. He smiled up at her.

"Better than when I woke."

Earlier, the doctor had been pleasantly surprised that he was mentally doing okay. Other than the loss of memory, he wasn't experiencing any lack of motor or social issues so far. Admittedly, he couldn't move most of his body because it was broken but the parts that were working were one hundred percent working.

"Do you mind if I take a shower and leave you with Hangman for five minutes longer?" Y/N whispered to her husband, holding onto his hand and playing with it lightly like she always did.

"Yeah, yeah. Go for it." Bob nodded, so Y/N stepped away from his bedside. Some part of him was waiting for something, some extra bit of affection that never came.

"I'll be so quick."

Mickey jumped at the chance to help Hangman mess with Bob as much as possible. Despite the situation, it was how the group showed their love and care to each other. No matter what, everyone tried their hardest to make the other person feel better through laughter. And that was exactly what he needed right now.

Off in the ensuite, Y/N sighed heavily and rested back against the doorframe as she closed her eyes. Everything was fine. Bob was alive, that's the main headline of the day. The surgery went well and his injuries weren't life threatening anymore. But even though everything was looking hopeful, Y/N still couldn't shake the fear that Bob might not recover completely. Her Bob, her husband may never remember the big moments of their life - their wedding, how they first met, their first date, when they bought a house together and all that - those might be gone forever and that's a hard truth to accept.

Robert Floyd, the man she loves, may never truly return to her.

Out there was the shell of him. A nice, kind, funny shell that she felt bad about naming him as such. She knew her thinking wasn't ideal and she couldn't stand herself for it. She hated herself for thinking of herself and her feelings right now. Shit, he literally fell out of the plane and got severe head trauma, and she was worrying about whether he'd ever remember that he won her a huge sloth teddy at the fair on their second date.

How self absorbed could a person be? She pushed off the door and got around to what she'd actually been planning to do - showering. It's a blessing that a shower is wet, you know? You can claim that all the moisture is due to the shower, rather than crying your eyes out while scrubbing a layer of grime off and feeling like a total loser who doesn't know how to function. However, the puffiness of a good crying sesh is rather noticeable. Jake hadn't brought her make up or eye cream or sliced cucumber, so it was rather obvious that she has shed tears recently as Y/N joined the boys.

As sweet as ever, Bob was quick to ask if she was okay and when her reply didn't convince him in the slightest, he announced, "I'm getting really tired. Do you guys mind if..." His voice trailed off suggestively. Fanboy and Hangman got the hint instantly and muttered about going to check on Phoenix.

"Y/N?" He asked softly, watching as she slowly lowered herself onto the chair by his bedside.

"Sorry, sorry, did you want me to go too? I'll just...leave."

Quickly, she stood up, ready to walk past him and give him the peace and quiet he so needed.

"No, stay. Please."

She froze where she was, her body slowly turning around to face him. He stared intensely at her, eyes burning through her with every second until she could feel herself breaking. She took a few tentative steps back towards the chair beside his bed, her hand coming to rest on the edge of the mattress as she tried to keep herself grounded, her heart pounding and the need to hide somewhere far, far away appearing in an instant.

Bob watched her warily, waiting for her reaction as he saw the sudden change in her demeanour. He looked down at her shaking hand resting atop the mattress and gently inched his fingers closer to hers until his pinkie finger touched hers.

"I'm on so many drugs right now," he blurted out suddenly. And thanks to the abruptness of that statement, she let out a chuckle which quickly turned into full on laughter that he joined in on. After that, their laughs slowly faded away, leaving them staring into each other's eyes as the silence settled between them. Neither of them uttered a word.

They simply held each other's gaze, taking in their individual features, their eyes searching for something within. "Can you tell me about how we met? How we got together?" Bob asked, yet his request seemed to be met with reluctance, as her smile disappeared from her face and her eyes shot to the floor for a brief moment before returning to his own once again. "Please?"

It's not that she didn't want to tell him how they met. The story wasn't outlandish or crude or anything bad. It's just a little weird to have to tell your husband something he was there for. "Yeah, of course." Y/N spoke softly as she squeezed her husband's hand, her thumb tracing soothing circles over the back of it. "The Academy holds summer school for juniors who are thinking of going there once they graduate..."

Next Chapter -> Like Beavers

*Click here for my Bob Floyd masterlist (including Rhett Abbott and Miles Miller), or here for the entire masterlist*

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[lovelybarnes]

scars- b. barnes

pairings: bucky barnes x reader warnings: heavy mentions of insecurity, focus on scars, injuries, blood, wounds, canon violence about: requested! (PK9) kissing scars, bruises, scratches, etc. + (PF26) person a wiping person b’s tears away a/n: thank you so much for requesting!! i hope this is what you wanted and that you liked it!!

[ @tylard-blog1 ]

you’re aware that everyone on the team has them; natasha romanoff, even steve rogers, with his unbreakable milk skin, and bruce banner, with the green that tinges the hue of his temples when a scar is made. they’re reminders of what you do, some symbols of the lives that you’ve saved-- and others the lives that you’ve taken.

yes, everyone has them, but that doesn’t make you like the ones that litter your own body very much. nor does it stop you from looking away from them when you catch a glimpse of the scars that peek out of the clothing you specifically choose to hide them away from the curious eyes of the public. it doesn’t stop the frustrated tears that ebb in your eyes when you run the tips of your fingers over the raised tissue.

sometimes you realize how unfair it is of you to hate the scars that splay on your collarbone, and the ones that run across your hips and thighs, when you press your lips against the ones on bucky’s shoulder, pleading for him to believe you when you say you think he’s beautiful. the thought lingers when you playfully roll your eyes at natasha on the rare moment when she narrows her eyes at the healed bullet wound that sits above her hip, genuine words assuring her she looks great no matter what slipping out of the same mouth that utters ugly words at the mirror. you ignore it even as it guilts you when you touch the scars on bruce’s arms with featherlight fingers, pressing that they don’t make him a monster, or any of the hideous words with which he describes himself.

you try to tell yourself the reassurances apply to you, too, because they’re true-- the scars don’t diminish the beauty of your smile, or the glow that you carry, and they shouldn’t hinder the upwards pull of your lips when you catch a glimpse of them in the mirror-- but even as you try to convince yourself of that, your eyes always flit away, hand positioning itself in front of the scars as you examine the way you’d love yourself without them.

you were never aware of the blue eyes that caught your moments of dislike for yourself, missing the bead of worry that embedded itself in the cerulean of bucky’s irises.

-

it was on a particularly bad day of yours that one of your relatively smaller missions was scheduled. listed underneath your name was bucky’s, although he was only on there because he had demanded you never to go on a mission to an active hydra base alone, even though he knew you could handle it; you didn’t mind, always enjoying the quiet moments you got on the quinjet with bucky-- and the pilot, usually clint or steve, who bit their tongue, unlike sam or tony.

it would’ve been fine on any other day, but your day hadn’t started on the best note. the scars underneath your clothing seemed to burn every time you moved in the way they had when you first received them. you had stared at them for far too long, wishing you had the super-healing of the asgardian gods or the super soldiers you surrounded yourself with, who would never get permanent scars from the things you had experienced. they felt especially ugly sitting on your skin, making you want to lay in bed all day, pretending they didn’t exist.

your mission cut off your day of wallowing in your bed, forcing you to shove on your suit and sit in the quinjet to arrive at the mission you could’ve easily handled by yourself had it been another day and you had felt any other way.

you were from the same black widow program natasha was from; you were probably impossibly better, more ruthless and uncaring because from the moment you were born, you had nothing to lose, no family to protect, no memories of a childhood--even a fake one-- to hang onto. your movements were always calculated and perfect, like they had been forced to be, and your emotions were never supposed to cloud your anything-- they never did, except for when you had the days that knocked you off your feet, just like these.

nevertheless, you were distracted in the base with bucky, although you shouldn’t have been, considering the delicate information you were handling. you flawlessly did the routine of knocking guards unconscious, ignoring the way a harsh heat flashed in your hip when bucky’s hand touched the place where one of your more brutal scars was. it felt nearly as if he could feel it under his fingers, even though it was a ridiculous thought considering the material of your tac suit.

it was still going relatively fine; you had recovered the usb file you had been assigned to secure, and most of the guards were dead, fallen in a trail that created a clear pathway for bucky to find you, usb drive clutched tightly in your hand as you bled out on the floor, a knife thrown next to the pool of blood quickly forming underneath you and the person who had done it lying dead a few feet away. your gun was in your other hand, one of its bullets embedded in the hydra agents’ chest. bucky could hear the strangled gurgles of breathing coming from the agent, but he paid no attention to him as he rushed to your side, eyebrows furrowing as his hands reached the stab wound. you hissed sharply when you felt the cold of his vibranium fingers meet the burning hot of the injury, pressing down hard as lightly as he could while he mumbled something into the comms you never used. you were suddenly gathered into his arms, cringing when you heard a scream you didn’t realize was yours until you felt bucky’s lips moving in reassuring sentences next to your ear, a string of apologies falling from his lips. you never let go of the drive, desperate to keep hold of something that connected you to the real world, not wanting to focus on your other alternative: it was irrelevant when compared to everything else, but through the blinding red of pain, the only thing you could focus on was obsessing over the fact that a new scar would inevitably heal in place of the stab wound-- one you knew you would survive because you’d survived a hell of a lot worse than it, but the next ugly thing to form in your abdomen might just make you never want to see yourself again.

warm tears rolled down your cheeks as bucky carried you back into the quinjet, one of your hands tiredly fisted at bucky’s shirt, trying your best to stay awake but ultimately failing from the loss of blood and will.

-

it’s stupid. you’re aware, but your first thought when you open your eyes again is how there is yet another scar that will form on your abdomen, making tears rush to your eyes in frustration because it was your fault it was there anyways. had you just paid attention-- just not concentrated so on the wretched things, a new one would not be forming right now. the collection of ugly tissue that littered your skin was already too large.

the frustration you felt overpowered the painful numbness that settled over the wound in your abdomen, making dried tears spring back to life and dribble down your apple cheeks, alerting your boyfriend of your state. “doll? what’s wrong?” he asks, and at the sign he’s there, listening to your whimpers and audible disdain, the dam breaks loose, your hands reaching up to your face and tugging at the gash.

bucky’s up on his feet, tender hands circling around your wrists to pull them back down, “y/n, what’s wrong, doll?” he repeats, gentle blue eyes scanning your tear-streaked face. you squeeze your eyes shut, another salty trail making its way onto the bow of your lips. bucky’s warm fingers wipe away the wetness, his fingertips light.

“baby, please tell me what hurts,” he begs, his vibranium hand making its way into yours. you shake your head, squeezing his cold fingers. “i hate them,” you mumble, feeling his palm cupping your jaw, “i hate them so much.”

“hate what, honey?” he questions gently, brows furrowing further when he sees your hand curling into a loose fist above the place where his hands have lovingly settled: right on your scars. “i’m sorry,” you cry quietly, nose scrunching up when his fingers trace over the tissue he’s memorized the location of, “i hate them. they’re ugly and i hate them.”

“these?” bucky inquires, surprised. he lifts your shirt-- really, his-- to see the object of your tears, catching when you shut your eyes again and more tears drip off your jaw.

“bucky, no--”

bucky looks up at you, pressing a kiss to your forehead, “y/n…” he starts sadly, pulling away to get you to look at him. “they’re not... “ his eyes flick down to one of the scars, and he taps on it gently, “d’you remember this one? it was a couple years ago when i barely joined the team.” you can feel a lump growing in your throat, perfectly able to recall where you got it.

“you barely knew me back then, but you did know i was a super soldier, and you jumped in front of that bullet anyways. god, i knew i had to ask you out before someone knocked sense into anyone else.”

you sniffle, biting your lip, “this one,” he touches another one, “you saved nat and a little girl from a madman. her parents were so thankful they stayed with you until you woke up to thank you.” his finger wipes away another tear, “she invited me to her birthday party this year,” you snivel, and bucky smiles.

“these are not ugly-- you are not ugly, i promise.” he tells you. “i love you, every part of you--” his head suddenly ducks down, and you can feel his lips softly pressing against the scars, careful to avoid your newly forming one. your hand reaches his jaw, running your nail along his stubble as more thankful tears slip from your eyes. “i love you,” he repeats, kissing your lips.

“thank you,” you whisper against his lips, sniffling as you feel the burn on the scars slowly begin to disappear with the coolness of bucky’s vibranium fingertips.

[youre-a-total--poser]

Let Me Go Part 4 (Final Part)

Warnings: None Age: 19 Word Count: 1,470 Requests: Closed Summary: Date: 14/04/2022 A/N: 8 years later and I'm finally posting the last part.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

———⧗———

"Y/N, where's Nat?" Bruce asked you.

You looked up as a tear escaped your eye when you heard her name being said and saw that everyone was looking at you.

You didn't even say anything yet they knew that something has happened.

You made eye contact with Steve. You saw the exact moment where his heart shattered. That look is why it should have been you not her.

Steve rushed over to you and pulled you into him and as he held you tight all your emotions just came pouring out of you and you cried harder than you ever have in your life.

There was nothing that he or anyone else could say or do to make this better. There is only one person that could comfort you and she is gone.

"I'm going to lie down for a bit," You said pulling away from Steve and wiping away the tears with your sleeve.

"Do you need me to get you anything?" Steve asked you

You didn't say anything, you just shook your head and continued walking.

You walked past your bedroom and went to Natasha's room instead.

You placed your hand on the door nob and took a deep breath before walking in. It took you a few seconds before you finally were able to properly walk in.

You noticed that one of her hoodies was lying on her bed you picked it up and just held it close to you. It still smelt of her perfume.

You walk over to her bedside table and picked up the framed photograph of both of you and the memory that went along with it played inside your mind it made you smile.

You took the picture out of the frame so you could keep it with it

"There must be something that I can do to bring you back, Mama, but I just don't know what," You said while looking at the picture.

You placed the picture on the bed and went to take off your jacket and swap it for your mom's hoodie but something fell out of your pocket and hit the floor.

You had forgotten that you still had the soul stone you then bent down and picked it up.

"The stones will bring back everyone and maybe just maybe you can be brought back too," you said to yourself.

With everything that happened, you forgot that nothing could bring her back.

You quickly put on the hoodie placed the stone in its pocket and carefully folded up the photograph and put it in your jeans pocket and ran to find the others.

———⧗———

You looked around the main floor but no one was to be seen then you saw them standing on the dock near the water.

As you got closer you saw Bruce throw one of the benches into the water.

"We have to make it worth it. We have to." He said.

"We will," Steve responded as he stood up.

"For her." You spoke up and everyone's head turned towards you.

You walked over to Tony and you handed him the soul stone.

———⧗———

After Tony and Bruce finished creating the glove everyone was arguing about who should be the one to snap their fingers you were off to the side just listening.

Bruce then stepped forward and offered to be the one who was going to snap his fingers to bring everyone back.

As Bruce was adjusting to the power of the glove you were standing behind Steve who was shielding you in case something happened.

He snapped his fingers and then instantly fell to the floor. Everyone ran over to check on him then a phone started vibrating. Clint walked over and picked it up

"Honey?" Clint said through the phone.

There was a loud explosion coming from outside.

"Stay here," Steve shouted at you running out with Tony and Thor.

You ran over to the window and there was a large ship in the sky dropping bombs onto the yard.

You knew what was going to happen and this was your chance to make your mama proud.

"Come on, Y/N, we need to go," Clint shouted running over to you and putting his hand on your shoulder leading you out of the compound He was holding the gauntlet in his other hand.

When you got out of the compound the entire yard has been destroyed thankfully the compound was still intact and you hoped it would stay that way.

You looked off into the distance and saw Steve, Tony and Thor were taking on Thanos alone and failing.

"You stay with Scott alright," Clint said before he was about to walk away.

"Where are you going?" You asked.

"I need to go put this someplace safe."

Before you could respond you noticed yellow, sparkly things appearing.

"Clint, look," you said pointing off into the distance

He turned around to see what you were pointing at.

More and more of them started appearing everywhere and you knew that it really worked and that you were getting your whole family back. You had sudden hopes that there was a possibility that your mom would come through as well you just needed to find her.

———⧗———

The war was over, Thanos was defeated, all of your family made it out alive and everything was right with the world again well it was almost right. You were almost certain that your mom would come back with everyone else but you must have just been kidding yourself since there was no sign of her.

You were sitting on the ground taking a small break from all of the fightings you had no idea how your mom does it without feeling completely drained afterwards.

"Your mom would be proud of you today, you did so well out there," Clint said as he sat down beside you.

"I wish that there was a way that I could let her know that we won, we did it." You sighed

"She knows." Clint gave you a soft smile then wrapped his arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder.

You carefully pulled out the photograph that was still in your jeans pocket

"We won, mama, we really won." You spoke to the picture.

———⧗———

It was a few days after Steve had decided that now was a good time than any to take the stones back to their original timezones.

After he had said what he needed to Bucky he walked over to you and pulled you into a hug.

"Just be careful okay, I can't lose you too." You softly spoke.

"I will." He said giving your shoulder a squeeze.

You gave him a soft smile and watched as walked onto the platform.

"You ready cap?" Bruce asked whilst continuing to fiddle around with some buttons

Steve gave Bruce a nod.

"Going quantum in… three… two… one" then Bruce pulled a leaver down and Steve disappeared.

"And returning in five…four…three…two…one" Bruce pressed a button but steve didn't return.

"Where is he?" Sam asked

"I don't know. He blew right by his timestamp. He should be here" Bruce responded with a slight panic in his tone.

"Get him back." You shouted.

"One second." Bruce was pressing more buttons.

Suddenly Steve had returned and you let out a breath of relief. You got closer and you noticed that there was someone else with him.

The helmet came undone and you the person who you never thought you would ever see again was standing right there.

You let out a gasp, your covered your mouth with your hands and tears started forming in your eyes.

"Mama?" You sobbed.

Natasha looked over at you, gave you a soft smile and opened her arms out. "Come here, sweetheart."

You ran up onto the platform and into your mom's arms. You sobbed into her chest and held onto her so tightly afraid to let go in case she disappeared.

"I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry," Natasha whispered kissing your head.

You pulled away so you could look at her. Natasha then cupped your face and wiped the tears away with her thumb whilst you nuzzled your face into her palm.

"I thought I would never see you again." You said as the tears continued to fall

Natasha gently placed her forehead against yours for a few seconds before pulling you back into a hug.

You let out a big sigh. You were back in your mother's arms, back in the most safest place that you could ever be and you never wanted to leave.

"Everything is going to be okay now, I'm never going to leave you again, I promise," Natasha whispered.

Natasha kept that promise. She ended up retiring so that she would never have to leave you again.

Tags

@glxwingrxse @griffin-girl-r @uglymammoth @arinmadethisblogcauseshewasbored

[howdoyousleep3]

where’s that hc about bucky learning to touch 🤲

I was hoping someone would notice that tag and hit me up. Thank you, sweet pea. This one is special to me, one of many. ❤

Bucky doesn’t say much about what happened to him after the fall and before Steve was miraculously given a second chance at a life with him. Steve is thankful for that. The details he does know come from Bucky’s therapist and from files that have been scrounged up over time, ones Steve can’t stomach through, ones he hands to Natasha and asks only for the information she finds pertinent.

Steve is sure he’d die of a goddamn broken heart if he knew every detail of Bucky’s 70+ years of brainwashed torture.

What he needs to know about Bucky is constant and will never change: this is James Barnes, the one in the same Steve spent his entire life falling in love with, Steve loves him now more than ever, and he is going to live every day he’s gifted with in this life for Bucky.

There are things Steve expects after Bucky joins him and the others back at the Tower, things Bruce has helped him comprehend in such a volatile predicament.

“It could take months, years even, for him to come back to you in full. And honestly, Steve...I would be ready for the possibility of him not returning to you in full. This may not end up being the Bucky you knew and grew up with. He needs therapy, needs patience, needs reminders of his life before, of who he was and is. This won’t be easy, Steve.”

Anything for Bucky.

There are things Bucky took to right away and other things that took much longer for him to enjoy or remember. Steve is with him every step of the way.

Sleep was one thing that Steve thought would be a struggle. After only one month of sleeping on the floor in the corner of his bedroom, Steve able to hear him tossing and turning and breathing heavily through his own bedroom wall, it took one afternoon nap on the couch to make him want to move to his new bed. While nightmares continued, Bucky slept albeit in small increments and sometimes through the day, but he slept.

Steve thought that would take years.

Crowds were another story. Crowds came with trust and Bucky rightfully didn’t trust others easily. He barely trusted Steve at first. It took time to get him out of the apartment, baby steps, one step forward and two steps back. They started with walks at dawn, fewer people, gave a shot at stopping for coffee on the way home a few times.

“It’s a Venti here, Buck,” Steve had tried to explain and Bucky huffed. “Why are things so goddamn complicated now? Just want a coffee, a—”

“I know— a black coffee with too much sugar. I got it.”

They’re working on interactions with others and the anxiety that comes with crowds. That one will take time.

What hadn’t taken time, and what startled everyone in the tower beyond belief, was Bucky and affection.

Steve may not know much of what Bucky has spent most of his life enduring but he at least had the assumption that what Bucky went through shouldn’t make him want any kind of touch from another person. Steve wrongfully assumed that any sort of gentle or soft touch wasn't something Bucky would like.

Bucky had spent the past 70+ years walking this earth as a killer, a robot, a machine, an assassin. He surely spent decades thinking he wasn’t worthy of anything, let alone love. He had been touch-starved, void of the tenderness and closeness Steve knows Bucky deserved and craved underneath the brainwashed parts of him.

It took time for Bucky to remember who Steve was to him. While he had recognized him immediately, remembering him but not how, it took months for Bucky to remembered the capacity in which he did so.

And Steve waited.

And waited.

Steve was gifted with small moments along the way, on this journey of Bucky remembering both himself and who Steve was to him:

“You...you were real small once,” Bucky said, factual with no trace of a question, hands in soapy water as he handed Steve a plate to dry. Steve had merely hummed. “Yeah, was...was maybe half the size I am now. Real small.”

“Could fit both’a my hands right around your middle…”

It had been a long while since Steve blushed like that.

Bucky standing over Steve’s sleeping form, heaving chest visible by only the filtered moonlight, Steve mumbling out a, “Buck, wha—?” before Bucky whispered, “You...you’ve been inside of me.” Steve sat up.

“I have,” Steve breathed, on cautious ground, shakier when Bucky then whispered, “But you like it better when I’m inside’a you.”

When Steve had swallowed audibly, nodded his head wordlessly, Bucky had turned and left the room.

It took months of moments like those to compile together, to form the picture of what Steve once was, what he yearned to continue to be, to Bucky. All of these moments, these memories, came to a head so unpredictably during yet another movie night. Knees knocking, fingers brushing, small touches that Steve absolutely soaked in, had gotten used to, had relearned.

When a glance towards Bucky had the wind knocking its way out of Steve’s chest, the familiarity of that look a bone-deep ache—

Bucky was going to kiss him.

A look full of determination and want, lips parted, eyes a bit glassy. Steve didn't dare move, had let Bucky come to him for fear of scaring him away. The moment their lips touched was the moment Bucky started crying. It had only been a short brush of their lips but Steve barely breathed, barely moved. Bucky had pulled back with wide, wet eyes, shaky breaths. “Buck, it’s okay. It’s okay. Everything’s alright, sweetheart,” are the words that easily slipped from his mouth, unable to stop them in a moment of progress that satiated his entire being.

That was the moment that changed everything. It was a startle to everyone involved. Steve had been ready to wait years, this entire life, for the moment he could touch Bucky again, could show him that physicality he knew his Buck craved. After that night on the couch it was as if the floodgates had opened—

Bucky remembered and wanted.

Regardless of where they were or what was happening, he wanted to be touching Steve: soft kisses on the cheek and lips, laying his head in Steve’s lap as he read, lacing his fingers between Steve’s during meetings, an arm wrapped around Steve’s waist between bouts of sparring. He’d trace patterns onto Steve’s thigh as he watched Steve draw, press against the line of his back while he cooked dinner.

Steve was floating on a cloud, was in heaven, never happier. It was perfection.

But what Bucky wanted, Steve couldn’t provide, couldn’t meet. Steve was only one man, couldn’t provide Bucky, whom touch had been stolen away from for decades, with everything he wanted. And that was okay, something Steve accepted, because there were other people Bucky could turn to that Steve trusted.

“I’m sure you all know why I asked you to meet with me,” Steve started, choosing a time Bucky was napping to meet with the rest of the group that either lived in or frequented the Tower. “Bucky has shown us a new side of him, has made some progress I think it’s worth discussing with everyone, since we’re all...we’ve all been affected...”

“Uhh, yeah— your Barnes-y boy has been all over me lately. I’m almost offended that everyone else is here to talk to Cap though. Thought he was just comin' onto me.”

“I have to tell you, I didn’t...I know we talked, Steve. But I’m honestly shocked at Bucky’s progress. It’s baffling.”

“I haven’t minded it. He lets me braid his hair.”

“Wait— y’all are getting touches?”

It was a group effort, supporting Bucky in this way. It was an adjustment, Bucky never prompting and questioning before touching or requesting touches— he just went for it. He was quiet still, not shy, merely observant. And just like he nudged at and leaned against Steve until his hands were on him, he did the same to others.

“I just ask that you show Bucky grace during this time. It’s a delicate situation. I need to know if you don’t want his touch or don’t wish to give him any kind of touch. I think it would be best if it came from me instead of from you in the moment.”

Natasha was who Bucky went to for scratches. Steve thinks it’s the nails. Steve also thinks Nat is Bucky’s favorite to go to for touches, even over him, but Bucky refuses to admit it.

When Bucky wants mindless touches, when he wants tickles and scratches, he goes to her. She naturally took to Bucky’s need for touches, the first occurrence one that came without hesitation. She’ll braid his hair, let him turn his head right where he wants her head scratches, naturally reaches for his back or shoulders to run her nails across when he saddles in close to her.

Thor is one of Bucky’s favorites too. Steve isn’t sure if it’s because of his strength or because of his warm and accepting demeanor but Bucky gravitates towards Thor often, mainly for neck and shoulder rubs. One, “James, my friend. You musn’t be afraid of asking for touch with me. I will always be willing to assist,” and that was all Bucky needed to feel comfortable walking over to Thor and nudging at his hands.

He puts his head on Bruce’s shoulder as soon as he can, likes sparring and playing hide and seek with Clint, enjoys putting his feet in Sam’s lap. Tony took some warming up to, but even then Bucky spent many hours in Tony’s lab, Tony guiding his hands, showing him what to do and how to work different machines, the two of them tinkering on his own arm.

Bucky kinda turns into the Tower kitty cat, wandering around quietly, napping in the sun, snacking, demanding affection from anyone he crosses paths with and trusts.

Everyone had their form of touch they shared with Bucky and Bucky absolutely blossomed under this form of support. Steve is forever grateful to be surrounded by a group of understanding individuals.

And every night when he lifts the comforter and feels the solid line of Bucky’s warm form against his side, the arm that now easily and inevitably slips around his waist, the familiar lips that always press against his temple, shoulder, and cheek, Steve is reminded this day was for Bucky and that the one they’ll wake up to will also be for him.

"I love you, Buck."

"Mhmm love you too, pal."

Steve doesn't even mind that Bucky spends his nights snoring in the crook of his neck, hot breath wafting over Steve's skin, hands grabby even as he dreams—

This is heaven.

[crackedoutwalnut]

uhh could I request a wanda x reader doing something really reckless (like stealing the car for a 3 am drive) and Carol and Nat (who are like their mother figures - and also are in a relationship) scolding them for it!!

ps: I don't know if scolding is even a word but I guess you know what I mean hahahah

a/n: I am absolutely in love with this prompt and I had a lot of fun writing it :) hope you enjoy!

Warnings: none just some cursing and some underage drinking.

Word Count: 2,680

--

It was around 3:30 in the morning when you felt someone nudge your shoulder. Groaning, you pulled your blanket further over your head.

"Leave me alone," you grumbled under your breath.

It was only when a strand of red magic surrounded the edge of the blanket and jerked it off your body, did you awaken. You gasped at the sudden assault of cold air and shot up. Wanda stood over you in a Black Sabbath hoodie and ripped jeans with a far too pleased smirk on her face.

"What the hell, Wanda?" You hissed, rubbing your bleary eyes.

"Put some clothes on; I want to show you something."

"The sun isn't rising for another 2 hours, Wan. I want to go back to bed," you complained, grasping for the blanket once more.

Wanda pulled the blanket fully off your shared bed and looked at you pleadingly, "Come on, please? I promise it will be worth it," her eyes were wide as she looked at you hopefully. At this time of night- or morning, you supposed - her accent was thicker than it would be during the day. You cursed your weak resolve and slunk out of bed.

"Fine, but I'm stealing one of your hoodies," you grumbled.

She chuckled, "You are already hoarding at least half of them," she pointed out as you stepped out of your pajama pants. You rolled your eyes playfully and pulled on black yoga pants and an Iron Maiden sweatshirt you had been keeping on your side of the closet for at least a month now. Wanda gasped and slapped your arm lightly, "I have been looking for that everywhere, Y/n. I thought I lost it!"

"Your hoodies are comfier," you reasoned with a shrug. "Anyways, how are we supposed to get past mother hen one and two?" You gestured towards the direction of Natasha and Carol's room.

Wanda pondered this for a moment, "Just be fast and quiet, you go out and wait in the car, and I will grab the drinks."

You raised an eyebrow, "Natasha's a world-class assassin, and Carol wakes up whenever Nat does; this won't work. Also, we're going to drink at 3 in the morning?"

Wanda huffed, "It will be fine. You worry too much, Y/n. Plus, when have we ever drank irresponsibly?"

Narrowing your eyes, you stuffed your hands in your pockets, "Do you really want me to answer that."

Wanda pushed you towards the door, "Go outside and wait in the car." You snickered and carefully opened the bedroom door, wincing when the hinges squealed slightly. It wasn't a matter of not being caught as much as it was a matter of being long gone before Natasha and Carol decided to go after them. Regardless of how sneaky they thought they were being, Natasha- if not both her and Carol - was bound to hear them. Ever so carefully, you wedged the front door open and slipped through it.

You had moved in with Carol, Nat, and Wanda a year into your relationship with her. Having graduated college with a nearly nonexistent relationship with your parents, you needed a place to live. Your girlfriend and the women who practically made sure you didn't starve throughout college seemed like the most reasonable choice. You had met Wanda on campus, and it had taken three weeks of being her friend until you realized she was an Avenger. Shortly after that, Wanda introduced you to the rest of her team. At first, your only interaction with the married couple was them giving you the "shovel talk" when Wanda first introduced you as her girlfriend. However, after working with them as a hacker for SHIELD, they quickly took you under their wing as well.

Smiling slightly at the memory, you opened the passenger door to Natasha's black Corvette Stingray. It took all of three minutes for Wanda to come running out the door, a bottle of apple cinnamon whiskey in hand. She threw the door open and shoved the bottle into your hand before pushing the key into the ignition and gunning it down the street. Your eyes bugged as your fumbled to get your seatbelt fastened. You clutched at your chest as the two of you went 45 in a neighborhood.

"Wanda, what the fuck!" you yelped, gripping the neck of the whiskey bottle tightly.

"I'm sorry, I heard their door open, and I panicked!" She cried, grasping blindly for her seatbelt. The two of you slowed down slightly as you gained distance from the house.

"They're totally going to notice the whiskey's gone, Wan. We're both 19; we can't legally drink yet!"

"Relax, Y/n they won't notice one drink is missing out of a whole cabinet filled with alcohol," Wanda reasoned, turning onto a gravel road.

You raised an eyebrow at your girlfriend, "How many times do I have to point out that Nat is the world's top assassin and Carol was trained by both the US military and the Kree?"

"I promise it will be worth it," Wanda insisted, grabbing your hand from across the middle console. You sighed and leaned down to kiss the top of her hand.

"You're lucky I love you."

Wanda grinned and shot a wink at you, "I know." With that, she pulled off the dirt road and into the middle of a grassy clearing. You unbuckled your seatbelt and reached down to grab the whiskey, which had rolled under the seat during your escape out of the neighborhood. Wanda stepped out of the car and went around the back to grab a large black and red checkered blanket. You followed her as she smoothed out the blanket atop the grass and pointed up at the sky. A small gasp escaped your lips as you saw streaks of light blaze across the sky.

"I didn't know there was going to be a meteor shower tonight," you whispered, eyes never leaving the sky. Wanda grinned and unscrewed the bottle. She took a hearty drink from it and passed it over to you.

"I was hoping to surprise you," she explained, laying down on the blanket.

You followed suit and took a large drink of your own. "Why did we need alcohol for this, exactly?"

The corner of Wanda's lips quirked upward as she turned her head to look at you. "Make it a bit more...colorful, I suppose. I considered whether edibles would be better, but Nat and Carol would definitely skin us alive when they found out about that."

You giggled; the apple cinnamon whiskey had settled in your stomach, warming your body against the early morning breeze. Your head felt fuzzier as you leaned over to place a kiss on Wanda's cheek. "This is perfect, Wan. Thank you." Wanda placed a cinnamon-flavored kiss on the corner of your mouth. "How much do you want to bet Wanda and Carol are waiting by the door for us right now?"

Your girlfriend let out a drunken laugh and set the now half-empty bottle aside. "10 dollars that they left the house to find us."

"You're on." The two of you dissolved into hysterical giggles that lasted so long your stomach started to cramp. The blazes of white-hot light lit up the sky as your vision turned blissfully hazy. Clumsily, you crawled towards Wanda and placed your head atop her stomach. "Mmm, you're warm," you hummed, a goofy smile cracking through your lips. The witch placed her hands against the side of your head and started stroking them through the locks of your hair.

Just as your eyes started to slip shut at the attention, your felt her hands halt. "Y/n?" You let out a quiet 'mhm' in response. "How're we gonna get home?" Her voice was slurred and thick with her Sokovian accent.

Your eyes snapped open, and you shot up. "Shit, we can walk, maybe?" Wanda gave you a blank look in response as she gestured to the expanse of nothingness around you. You sighed, "We have to call Carol and Nat."

Wanda groaned and covered her face with her hands. Her chipped black nails scrubbed at her eyes and cheeks, leaving red lines all over her face. "Do we have to?"

"Well, we can't drive Wanda, and by the time we're sober enough, it'll be nearly 7:30!"

"They're going to kill us," she complained, burying her face in her hoodie. "Just get it over with."

You fished your phone from your pant pocket and hesitantly pressed Natasha's contact. The phone barely got through with its first ring before the older woman picked up.

"Where the hell did you two go?" her raspy voice was nearly brimming with anger. You almost dropped your phone at the venom lacing her words.

" 'M sorry, 'Tasha," you winced at the heavy slur in your words before continuing. "We thought it'd be fun."

You heard someone grab the phone, "Are you two drunk?" Carol demanded.

"No..." you trailed off pathetically. Wanda glared at you and lightly kicked your foot.

"Y/n try to say Natasha's full name, right now," you straightened slightly at Carol's military voice.

"N'tasha 'Manoff," your tongue felt too big for your mouth as you attempted to form the words. "...Okay, maybe a little bit."

"Where are you? We're coming to get you," Nat insisted. You heard footsteps from the other end of the line and someone pulling the hallway closet open.

"Wan, where are we?" you asked, glancing around the fields of overgrown grass and wheat.

Wanda winced and bit the tip of her finger, "Uhhh.."

"You don't know?" Natasha and Carol shouted. Wanda pursed her lips and looked down at her lap.

"I didn't have a specific route planned out beforehand," she admitted.

"Turn the location tracker in your phone settings on," Natasha ordered.

"Yes, ma'am," you both grumbled in unison, feeling akin to a scolded child.

"When we get there, you two better hope you have a better excuse than the ones we heard over the phone," Carol warned.

"You took my Corvette?" Natasha complained.

"It was either that or Carol's truck, and Wanda isn't used to driving stick yet," you insisted. "Her car's still in the shop from last month." A speeding car had rear-ended Wanda's car on the highway.

We will talk about this when we get there, do not touch the Corvette any more than you already have," with that, Natasha hung up.

"Well, apple cinnamon whiskey isn't a terrible last meal," you reasoned as Wanda folded the blanket and set it in the backseat.

"Y/n, we haven't eaten since dinner time. Whiskey is hardly a meal," Wanda grumbled, shutting the door.

"Babe, I'm trying to be optimistic."

"Captain Marvel and Black Widow are on their way to kick our asses into the moon," Wanda replied, leaning back against the Corvette. You sighed and rested your head against her shoulder. "Sorry this night was a bust," she mumbled, eyes staring down at her boots dejectedly.

You smiled and leaned in to press your lips against hers. Wrapping an arm around her waist, you pulled away and rested your forehead against hers. "This is one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me, Wanda. Thank you." Wanda grinned sheepishly and buried her face in your shoulder.

A few dreadful minutes later, you saw the headlights of Carol's truck speed down the gravel road. The truck lurched to a stop as the two superheroes jumped out of the car.

"Are you two alright?" Natasha demanded, half-running to the two of you.

"We're fine, I can protect myself, and Y/n was with me the whole time," Wanda reasoned. "We went out to watch a meteor shower, not go clubbing.

"I can protect myself just fine," you whined.

Carol raised an eyebrow, "Your hands were built for hacking and reading, not punching." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Wanda offered you a sympathetic smile but did not say anything to counter the older woman's claim. Rude.

"Wanda, get in the Corvette, Y/n get your ass in the truck," Natasha ordered. She was wearing a black leather jacket over her red silk pajama set. Carol was in basketball shorts and a tank top with a brown leather bomber jacket pulled over it. You quickly shuffled over to the truck and slid in.

Your foot nervously tapped against the floor of the car as you watched Carol grab the nearly empty bottle of whiskey and made her way over to the truck. Shutting the door, she set the bottle of whiskey on the open seat between you two and turned the keys in the ignition. As the pickup truck rumbled to life, she turned to face you. "Kid, you two nearly downed that bottle in a single night. What were you thinking?" You burrowed further into Wanda's sweatshirt as if to protect from her stern gaze.

"You're really mad at us, huh?" you mumbled, fidgeting with your hands.

Carol sighed and followed behind Natasha down the road, "You scared the shit out of us, kid. We didn't know where you had gone, why you left, plus it's nearly pitch black out here."

"But, we're adults just like you and Nat," you insisted weakly.

"You're still teenagers; we're in our 30's. Millions of things could have gone wrong; some creep could have taken you before Wanda could get to you, you could have crashed had you chosen to drive home, your phones could have died, or you could have gotten lost."

You shrunk further into your sweater, "Sorry..."

Carol sighed and looked over at you as she turned into the neighborhood. "Listen, kid. We really care about you two a lot. Nat and I have to resist the urge to duct tape you to the kitchen chairs to keep you two from leaving for missions. We know you can take care of yourselves, but a heads up in the future would be nice, and also more reasonable hours for your plans."

You grinned sheepishly, "Yeah, that seems fair."

Carol smiled and pulled into the driveway. Natasha and Wanda were waiting on the doorstep when you two got out. The latter looked thoroughly chastised as she burrowed her mouth and nose into her hoodie. When the four of you got inside, Natasha sighed and checked the clock on her phone.

"Well, we might as well watch a movie or something since it's nearly sunrise." You and Wanda settled on the couch, with Natasha to your left and Carol to Wanda's right acting as bookends. The assassin wrapped an arm around your shoulder, allowing you to rest your head in the crook of her neck. You saw Wanda lay her head in Carol's lap as the older woman pulled up Netflix. Natasha was idly threading her fingers through your hair, causing your already drunk and lethargic mind to grow hazier. Your eyes started to slip shut as you felt yourself being guided to lay your head in Nat's lap. You jerked slightly, attempting to fight the drowsiness from taking hold. Forcing your eyes open, you tried to sit up. However, the battle for consciousness was quickly lost when Nat started using her nails to gently massage your scalp.

--

"Carol," the assassin whispered to her wife. The blonde stopped her search for a good movie as she glanced over at Natasha.

"What is-" her question was quickly cut off by her wife quietly shushing her. Nat gestured down to the younger women currently lying in each of their laps. Carol glanced down to find Wanda's face hidden against the sleeve of her hoodie as she let out soft snores.

"Well, guess the movie idea's a bust," she whispered.

Natasha nodded, "You grab Wan, and I'll get Y/n."

Carefully, the heroes scooped the younger women into their arms and carried them to your shared bedroom. Natasha gently set you onto the bed beside your girlfriend and pulled the blanket- which was lying on the floor for whatever reason - to cover the two of you. Ever so cautiously, the couple crept out of the room.

[rebeccccccaaa]

ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ _____________________

ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ’s!ʙᴇsᴛ!ғʀɪᴇɴᴅ!ʙᴜᴄᴋʏ ʙᴀʀɴᴇs ᴀᴜ

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: You and Buck have always been close growing up but you two soon learn that the line that separates friendly and flirting is a lot thinner than you think.

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢs: fluff, slight angst bc u got a shit bf, big bro vibes from bucky, smut duh [18+ minors dni (slight praise but also slight degradation, marking, belly bulge, squirting, fem!rec oral, unprotected sex, plz be safe irl, slight choking, pet names: darling&princess, i think that’s it lmk plz)]

ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ’s ɴᴏᴛᴇs: hey assholes i'm back for the time being lol. I have a few ideas and fics I'm currently writing right now so do not fret.

______________________________________

You knew this was a horrible idea. 

It’s Saturday night and you and your boyfriend were back in another night club after being kicked out from one just hours before. Daniel had gotten too drunk, as he always does, causing you to kindly ask the bartender to cut him off. Daniel didn’t take that too lightly resulting in a gnarly swing at the poor guy just doing his job. 

Security threw you out and Daniel called an Uber to go where you thought was going to be your apartment but twenty minutes later you pulled up to another club practically on the other side of town. You yelled at Daniel but he pushed aside stumbling inside for yet even more drinks and mistakes waiting for him inside. 

You sat at the bar simply drinking some water and snacking on some peanuts keeping your eye on your garbage boyfriend. You're constantly checking the time on your phone, annoyed with every passing minute. It was 2 am and you just wanted to go home and sleep. You were even debating texting your brother Steve hoping you could just crash at his place not too far from where you were but it would be incredibly irresponsible to just leave Daniel in the state he’s in. 

So you waited and waited and waited. Your eyelids felt heavy and your energy was just completely drained. You were basically a zombie. It wasn’t until a guy approached your half asleep body that you felt a sense of alert. Daniel was shit-faced so you were practically defenseless. 

“Hey,” the guy shouted over the music.

“Sorry, I’m not interested. My boyfriend’s-” you quickly said, only to be cut off.

“Don’t worry. I’m not gonna hit on you. I’ve got a boyfriend of my own,” he chuckled, making you breathe out in relief. 

“Sorry,” you cringed at yourself. 

“It’s alright; but uh, I hate to be the one to tell you this. You might want to check with your boyfriend,” he said sympathetically. 

You pushed your way through the crowd scanning every face in search of Daniel. What did he do? Is he hurt? Did he get in trouble again? Is he getting arrested? Where is he-

“Daniel?” you said eyes tearing up a bit. 

His arms were wrapped around another girl’s waist as he kissed her the way he kissed you. She practically moaned as their tongues slobbered disgustingly with each other. Their hips grinding against each other proactively as if you weren’t even there. Sadness turned to anger, and anger turned to rage, gripping Daniel’s short hairs and pulling his head away from whoever this girl was. 

“What the fuck?” the girl complained, her eyes completely bloodshot. 

“Did he tell you that he was here with his girlfriend tonight?” you're sad with gritted teeth. Daniel stumbled around still unable to register what the hell was happening. 

“Oh my god, you forreal?” she said.

“Who fucking cares? She’s a prude anyway. I got more action with you than I did her in the past, what, six months?” Daniel slurred. 

“You know what, you’re a fucking prick, dude. She deserves so much better than you; I bet your dick is small anyway,” the girl said.

“Fuck you too bitch,” Daniel spit. 

“I can’t believe you,” you said. 

“Oh, whoop-dee-doo, big fucking surprise. Babe, you’re a prude. Can’t you see it? I don’t know why I’m wasting my time with you anymore,” he practically puked out the words without any second thought. 

“Fine, then I hope you enjoy the rest of your night, you fucking asshole,” you stormed away holding in the tears; he wasn’t worth it. 

Almost three am and you just dumped your cheating lowlife boyfriend on the other side of town. Steve wasn’t answering his phone and you even wanna be near the club anymore. Walking speedily staring at your screen desperate to call an Uber home, you bumped harshly into a hard chest falling to the ground on your bum. 

“Fucking hell, I’m so sorry, darling,” the man said helping you up by your elbows.

“It’s ok. I wasn’t looking- Bucky?” 

“Oh, hey kid. What are you doing? It’s like three in the morning and you don’t live anywhere near here,” Bucky said, crossing his arms. 

“Daniel got himself kicked from the one by our apartment and Ubered here instead.”

“So where’s Daniel?” Bucky scowled; he’s always hated that guy, so did Steve.

“Probably fucking some other chick in the bathroom,” your voice cracked. 

“What?”

“It’s nothing; I just want to go home,” you cried.

“Hey, it’s ok; it’s ok. Do you wanna crash at me and Steve’s? He’s gone for the weekend with Peggy; you can stay in his room at least for the night,” Bucky offered; so that’s why Steve’s not answering his phone. 

“I don’t wanna intrude on your night. I can just call an Uber, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. Steve’ll kill me if he found out I left his baby sis alone in the streets of New York at three in the morning. It’s not a problem, we were just bar hopping and I stopped drinking ages ago.”

“Are you sure, Buck?”

“Of course,” he smiled warmly at you. 

“Hey, Nat!”

“What’s up?” a beautiful redhead approached you both.

“Gonna head home ; don’t do anything stupid,” he chuckled. 

“You too,” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “Catch you Monday?” 

“You’re stupid. I’ll see ya,” Bucky laughed before grabbing your hand and headed towards his apartment. 

“Thanks again, Buck. For letting me stay here tonight,” you said once you entered his apartment. 

It had been a while since you hung out at your brother’s apartment but nothing’s changed. Typical men and their inability to change even a throw pillow. You set your small bag on the couch before Bucky led you to Steve’s room. There were pictures of you and him posing at Steve’s graduation; and later your own. Pictures of Steve and Bucky at a theme park, during a bar-be-que for Steve’s birthday. So many memories that Steve held onto in his room. 

“Time really flies doesn’t it?” Bucky said, slightly startling you.

“Sorry,” he chuckled.

“No, you’re fine. But you’re right. Feels all these pictures were taken yesterday,” you reminisced. 

“I got you some clothes if you need to change; I’ll give you privacy,” Bucky said, slipping from the room briskly. 

You sat on the bed frustrated with everything. Your body was so drained from being up so early in the night, to the fight with Daniel. The past couple months with him were so awful. He was just so mean to you all the time and you didn’t know what you did wrong. Where did it go wrong? When did things shift?

"Is everything ok, darling?" Bucky asked quietly, knocking on the door when you hadn't come out after a while.

"What did I do wrong? I thought he loved me," you choked out. 

Bucky sighed as he walked over to the bed sitting beside you before engulfing you in a warm hug. You cried into his shoulder and Bucky couldn't help the anger that bubbled inside him for your excuse of a boyfriend Daniel. He never got along with the guy and now he finally has a reason to knock his teeth in.

"You didn't do anything, I know it. That prick wouldn't know love if it hit him in the face. It's his loss. You deserve so much better than that asshole. Look at me, you're so beautiful and funny and fucking adorable; any guy who can't see how perfect you are, is a dense piece of shit." 

"James," you whispered. 

His words made your heart skip and your stomach flutter. But Bucky’s always had that effect on you. Even growing up. You weren’t going to sit there and pretend that hearing his words hadn't had a deeper effect than they would’ve coming from Daniel. Sometimes you wondered what being with Bucky would be like. You’re not the first to admit how handsome Bucky was and growing up you did have quite the crush on your brother’s best friend.  

You don't know what it was, whether it was the alcohol still swimming through your veins, or just feeling so vulnerable being in Bucky's arms but you wanted him badly. You needed him, needed to feel something again. And you knew he could give it to you. You pressed your lips to his and in an instant his hands dropped to your hips pulling you impossibly close against his body. Your hands went to the back of his head as you kissed him messily. Your noses bumped and teeth clashed but it was the best kiss you’ve ever had. 

“Fuck, your brother’s gonna kill me,” Bucky mumbled, almost to himself, as he slowly laid you down on your back.

Bucky’s hands trailed up your thighs, squeezing the soft flesh every now and then as he continued kissing you passionately. Your own hands couldn’t help but tug at his shirt desperately. When he did so, your breath was completely taken away. It had been years since you’d seen Bucky without a shirt. 

Not only had he been quite skinny just like your brother back then, but not long after leaving for college with Steve he was in a bike accident that left him with ghastly scars and burns along his left arm and shoulder. Since then, it’s fair to say Bucky never really ever took his shirt off. It had taken years just for him to remove the glove he’d always wear to cover the scars on his hand.

“You’ve gotten so strong, James,” you grinned, reaching out to brush the flexed muscles running down his front. 

He simply stared at you with an anticipating and anxious expression on his face, waiting for you to state the obvious. When you didn’t, when you pulled his head down to kiss him once again, he almost cried. Bucky hadn’t been with a woman in so long, afraid of this very moment. He knew at that moment, there was no one quite like you. 

Bucky fell in love. 

“Let me take care of you, darling. You’ve been so good to me,” Bucky whispered huskily in your ear as he trailed his hand under your own shirt brushing his fingertips along the underside of your breast.

His lips pressed softly against your hot skin along your neck before standing up between your legs at the end of the bed. He pulled your shirt off then played cheekily with the straps of your bra that you still had on. You smiled back at him with the same playful stare, reaching behind you to unclasp the material. 

You could see the way Bucky’s eyes darken and his pupils widened as he stared in awe at your naked chest. Your skin bursted into chills under his hungry gaze even though you felt like you were burning up. Bucky leaned forward kissing down the valley of your breasts, nipping once in a while playfully before laying you back down. He shimmied you out of your bottoms easily, kneeling on the ground leaving you completely bare before him. 

“You are absolutely stunning, princess,” Bucky whispered, running his hands up your thighs slowly. 

“Bucky, please. I need you,” you whimpered. 

“Don’t worry, darling. I promise I’m gonna take good care of you,” he smirked devilishly. 

He pushed your knees open, eyeing the arousal that glistened between your thighs. He brought his fingers up to you slowly rubbing your slick around before finally pushing a thick and long finger past your folds. Your body shuddered solely at the foreign but pleasurable feeling, already moaning softly. 

Bucky’s cock strained through pants upon hearing your beautiful moans; they were like music to his ears. He couldn’t help the way his hips would buck into the mattress in a desperate attempt to relieve some pain from his erection. Soon after he pulled his fingers from you slowly only to thrust them further in you, curling his fingers just right. 

He brought his mouth down to you, wrapping his lips around your clit sucking harshly. You gasped and your back arched, overwhelmed with pleasure Bucky was giving you with just his mouth and fingers. All the times that you’d given yourself to your ex, he had never made you feel this good before, feel this full; let alone with his fingers. Bucky was taking his time with you solely for your own pleasure and it made your heart swoon. 

Your legs trapped Bucky’s head between your thighs, squeezing as he continued to eat you out like a starved man. Your hands went to his hair pulling on his dark locks causing Bucky to moan deeply against you. You were so close to a release; your legs shaking violently and your stomach tightening. 

“Come on, princess. Want you to come all over my face. Can you do that for me, darling?”

“Fuck!”

“Be a good girl and make a mess,” Bucky teased.

His fingers moved faster as he swirled his tongue around and over your clit just as quickly. You were becoming overwhelmed and that coil bursted in the pit of your stomach. You pushed Bucky’s face from you, shrieking with pure pleasure; Bucky’s kept the rapid pace with fingers as you fell over the edge.

“Fucking hell, that was so hot, princess,” Bucky said standing up; his fingers, arm, his chest was covered in your arousal. 

“Did I do that?” your voice trembled. 

“Because of me,” Bucky winked playfully.

“I didn’t know I could do that,” you let your head fall back on the bed as you briefly caught your breath.

Bucky grabbed his shirt that he discarded not long ago and quickly wiped his chest and arm before discarding his pants and boxers. He nearly moaned at the feeling when he finally freed his dick from the restraining garments. His hand instantly wrapped around the base before pumping himself a few times. 

You brought yourself onto your elbows momentarily ogling at the sight of Bucky completely bare before you. Your mouth practically watered at the sight. Bucky crawled over you kissing you deeply and messily; but perfectly. He pulled away and you both had goofy smiles on your faces before bursting into a fit of giggles, Bucky’s head burying into the crook of your neck.

“You’re so goddamn adorable, princess,” Bucky’s voice was muffled. 

“Bucky,” you whined. 

You couldn’t resist squirming underneath the burly man. Although, you’ve just had what was probably the best orgasm you’ve ever had, you wanted more. You needed more; you needed Bucky. 

“I got you, darling. I got you.” 

Bucky wanted to tease you more, make you beg, but he was just as desperate to feel you as you were. He propped himself up on his elbows kissing you one last time before reaching between your bodies and lining his dick with your entrance. Both you and Bucky moaned simultaneously as he stretched you out; curses spilling from his lips as incoherent moans fell from yours. 

“So fucking tight, princess. Squeezing my cock just right, aren’t ya?” he whispered.

“Fuck, I feel so full,” you whimpered.

Bucky began to slowly move his hips in and out of you deliciously. He quickly picked up the pace, jetting his hips rapidly making your moans louder. Bucky sat up on his knees and gripped your waist surely to leave bruises in your wake. This new angle surprised you and you couldn’t help the squeals and moans that left your mouth. You chanted Bucky's name like a prayer; as if it was the only word you knew. 

Bucky watched you carefully, your face contorting with pure euphoric pleasure. He couldn’t help notice the small bump in your lower belly and without a second thought, he grabbed your hands pressing them firmly over your tummy. 

“You feel how deep I am, darling? Fucking poking through,” Bucky grunted. 

“Shit! Oh, it feels so good,” you moaned. 

“That’s right, no one’s ever gonna fuck you this good again. This pussy’s mine now,” Bucky growled. 

He took one of his hands and wrapped it around your throat squeezing the sides gently but firm at the same time. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned even louder, confident that the neighbors were sure to complain in the morning. Feeling Bucky’s hand around your neck was so exhilarating; you and Daniel had never ever experimented with anything beyond a pair of handcuffs, and that particular night went horribly. 

You like being choked by Bucky. 

“Fucking slut; you like this, don’t ya?” he came down to whisper huskily against your lips. 

“Mh-hm,” you moaned with a devilish grin, your bottom lip resting between your teeth before your eyes rolled back again. 

“Such a fucking beauty you are.”

Bucky hips snapped in and out and he knew it wouldn’t be long until he needed to release.

“God, I’m close, princess,” he growled. 

His hand moved to rest on the back of your neck to pull you up so you straddled his thighs and your chest was flushed against his. Your sensitive and hardened nipples brushed against his slightly sweaty skin causing you to shudder in pleasure. Bucky’s lips attached themselves to your skin along your collar bones sucking harshly leaving purple marks all along.

Your legs shook once again as they did before and soon enough with an arched back and shout of Bucky’s name you came all over his cock. Overwhelmed with your sex, Bucky bit harshly on your shoulder in a poor attempt to muffled the loud groans and moans he elicited. Feeling your velvety walls squeeze tightly around him pushed him over the edge, coating your walls with hot ribbons on cum. 

He fell forward almost crushing you but you were too tired to complain. Bucky continued to pepper soft kisses all over your skin whispering how good you were to him, how beautiful you looked. Just absolutely showering with compliments. You felt him slowly getting off you, probably afraid he was crushing you, but you didn’t want him to leave just yet. 

“Don’t,” you whispered, wrapping your arms tightly around his body. 

“I don’t want to crush you, darling.”

“You’re not.”

Bucky chuckled before settling completely above you, careful not to make you uncomfortable. Hardly any time went by when he felt the even and soft puffs of air hitting his skin, sure that you had fallen asleep. He picked himself up and with major guilt for his best friend, picked you up from the bed and walked you to his own room. 

After he was sure you stayed sound asleep, Bucky grabbed a clean pair of boxers and hurried himself to Steve’s room again. He collected all the discarded clothes and the dirty sheets and tossed them in the washing machine to clean right away. 

He hadn’t meant to fuck his best friend’s little sister, let alone in his own room, on his own bed, but it all happened so fast. 

He went back to his room letting the clothes do it’s thing, and quickly grabbed his phone. He messaged Steve, telling him that when he got back for his weekend with Peggy, he really needed to talk to him. 

Tonight made Bucky realize how much he loved you. Growing up, you two had always been close. But he doesn’t know when he stopped being friendly and instead began flirting. Bucky wanted to be with you; he knew it now more than ever. 

Bucky watched your gorgeous sleeping form on his bed. He smiled to himself before opening the window; the sun already rising and those beautiful golden rays seeped through the glass window, making you look angelic. He crawled into bed cuddling flushed against your naked body. He chuckled softly when you realized he’d returned, wiggling even further into his arms. 

“I love you, Bucky,” you mumbled. 

“I love you, too, darling.”

And he really, and truly did love you. As did you love him. 

=======================

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[justkending]

Finding Memories. Chapter 10.

Series Summary: Waking up with little to no memory of her past, and being saved by a group of individuals who call themselves heroes, sends a long time captive for a whirlwind trying to find some form of grounding in this world she quickly learns runs on chaos. But she’s not the only one trying to figure out her forgotten backstory. Bucky Barnes, along with the other Avengers, can’t help but sense that there is a lot more to the whole situation than a diagnosis of amnesia. Her background slowly starts to come forward in pieces of her past and hidden information discovered. Who is she? And why was she in the room they were meant to destroy?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader 

Word Count: 2100+

TW: Torture, Kidnapping,cussing, PTSD, and blood. 

A/N: So sorry this has taken a minute to post. I haven’t had any clue where I’ve wanted the next few chapters to go in order to lead us to our future storyline, but I started writing and well... I finished another chapter and I think you and I can both say I wasn’t expecting the route I decided on. But, hey, I was feeling EXTRA cause I got a snow day tomorrow so I can write the next chapter sooner! Enjoy and as always, I love hearing back from you all! Even if it’s just a hey so I can say hey back:) xoxooxox

Chapter 10:

Y/N eventually went to bed shortly after Bucky and her had dinner. 

Bucky decided to go and work out some as he felt that was a good time to try and break down the case more. 

In the meantime, Natasha was hunting Wanda down. She mentioned she was talking to Bruce earlier, but she never made it to Y/N’s room like she said she would. Now it was later, and she still had no idea where she was. 

She was looking down at her phone, seconds from calling her when she heard footsteps heading her way. 

She looked up, and around the corner turned the person in question. 

“What have you been up to missy?” she said with an interrogating look. 

“Hey, I was just coming to find you,” Wanda pointed to her. “I have something I need to talk to you about.”

Now Natasha’s curiosity had peaked. 

“About what?” 

“Not here,” she looked around. “Come with me down to the lab,” she motioned her head to follow her. 

Down in the lab, Bruce was hunched over paperwork and examining them closely. 

When the two redheads walked into his private office, he looked at Nat with a smile. 

“So you did tell her,” Bruce stood up from his position and crossed his arms after taking his glasses off. 

“Not yet,” Wanda shook her head. “Figured it would be better if we both told her.”

Natasha was looking at them with confused stares and couldn’t handle being out of the loop any longer. 

“Can someone tell me what’s going on, please?” she groaned. 

Wanda knew there was no point easing into it all as she could see the annoyance on the spy’s face. She didn’t want to make her wait longer than she already had. 

“We have some things about Y/N that we need to discuss with you,” she said leaning on the table. Nat was curious and looked at Wanda, who read her mind, nodded and answered, “Yes, he knows.”

“I know about the incident in the training room, but we have some other things we need to talk about before that,” Bruce sighed, moving toward the two.

After about 20 minutes of debriefing Nat, there was a second of silence. Her head was down as she added all the new notes to her mental list, but Wanda and Bruce couldn’t tell if she was just processing, confused, angry or all the above.

Then she raised her head and looked straight at them both.

“Why wasn’t I a part of this little side investigation?” she asked bluntly. 

Wanda knew she would be upset about being out of the loop, but they felt they had good reasoning for keeping within a smaller group. 

“We didn’t want things to come back to bite us in the ass in whatever way it could and figured the less who knew, the less hurt,” Wanda answered. “It was nothing against you or anything having to do with not trusting you with the information, but there is still so much we don’t know about her that could get us in trouble.”

“And?” Natasha questioned as if that wasn’t good enough of an answer. “You think getting hurt or in trouble are ever part of my main concerns?”

Anyone willing to join any group of individuals such as the Avengers wouldn’t last a single second if they were worried about either of those two things. 

“We were trying to look out for you,” Bruce spoke up.

“And for that I appreciate you, but you both know I like to make my own decisions,” she sent a serious look. “I would’ve liked to have known however, so I can decide if this is something I wanted to be a part of for myself.”

“I’m sorry we didn’t,” Wanda spoke up. “But we’re letting you in now and we want to know what your thoughts are on helping Y/N learn more about herself and her powers. Things are developing fast, and if Tony hears word of it at all, there is a good chance he’s going to do something that he’ll regret.”

Natasha took a second to take the quick apology and move on. It’s not that she was no longer upset, but there were more things to worry about at the moment than her feelings being slightly hurt.

“Y/N said you ran a blood test today,” she said to Bruce and he nodded. “Any difference in the original ones?”

“Her blood is no longer infected with narcotics and antihistamines,” he answered. “Everything is functioning as normal as can be expected. But because of the mutant genes, her labs will never come back as completely normal.”

“Did any of the mutations change?” she asked. 

“That’s the thing,” Wanda jumped in. The other two looked towards her. “Bruce went over the mutations again and they’ve changed, but we can’t tell if it’s just the look of the DNA bonding, or if the powers they were trying to sedate are finally developing and growing.”

“Growing?” Nat raised an eyebrow. “Growing in size?” Nat was perplexed. 

“Growing as if they're becoming stronger,” he waved off. “So yes, to an extent they are growing, but not in size. Just in power and strength.” 

“You took her last blood sample after we had been practicing this morning, right?” Nat asked. 

“Yeah, Wanda had come to talk to me and I asked her to find Y/N and see if she could get her to come down to do another blood draw.”

“Which is why I walked in on you both fighting and witnessing her-,” she paused trying to find a word for their morning discovery. “Protect herself?” 

“It wasn’t out of malice. I can tell you that much,” Natasha shook her head. “I saw the fear of God in her poor eyes before it happened. I wasn’t even going to follow through with the hit but by the time I realized, she was already throwing me to the other side of the room.”

“So it wasn’t because she got angry or anything?” Bruce asked with true curiosity. That type of issue was his specialty. 

“I wish it were anger,” Nat sighed. “But that was panic.”

“Noted,” Bruce, turned and picked up a piece of paper he was looking at earlier, and made a small note on them. 

“Could her blood analysis have been drastically changed after that kind of reaction?” Nat asked as she put the pieces together faster by the second. 

“Any intense emotion can cause all kinds of chemical changes in a blood sample, but add in the mutation being put to work, and it could absolutely be the answer behind why the cell looked the way they did,” Bruce answered, still looking down at the paper. “I should get another sample tomorrow morning when she’s not in fight or flight mode,” he mumbled, pausing in his writing before making another physical note of his thought process.  

“Wanda,” Nat turned to her friend with eyes ready for a mission. “I need you to fight Y/N tomorrow,” she said in a rash and rather abrupt way. 

“Excuse me?” Wanda blinked slowly. 

Nat let out one single laugh before waving her shock away. “We already talked about it. It was her idea.”

“I once again say… Excuse me?” Wanda emphasized on the tone that showed that didn’t make her statement any better. 

“Ugh, calm down,” she rolled her eyes, moving in front of her. “We decided if someone was going to keep training with her like we had been, it needs to be someone who can at least go against her in a similar manner.”

Wanda’s nerves eased pretty quickly after hearing the full explanation and not just parts of it. Her suggestion and idea was a valid one. No one really knows to what extent Y/N’s powers are, but if anyone could hold their own on the same playing field it would be her.

“So she does want to keep training?” she asked. 

“You surprised?” Nat asked. 

“No, but I had just hoped she would take a little more time to think about it,” she answered. “Part of me wished she would try and give herself some time to recall all this stuff in a less stressful way.” 

“In a perfect world, Maximoff. In a perfect world,” Nat sighed. She knew how the story of the victim with a good heart doing the right thing, even if it wasn’t the best thing for them, went all too well. “But at the end of the day, it’s her choice, and she still can back out at any point in time.”

Wanda smiled at the reassurance. They had grown close to Y/N in her short time there, but in it they had started welcoming a new family member into their dysfunctional family. And no one ever wants to see someone they care for get hurt. But it’s because you care for them, you let them make their own decisions and give support where you can. 

“Are you ok with trying to help Y/N figure this out, even if it’s not the way we hoped?” Nat asked. 

“I’ll do what I can.”

______________________________________________

The sun was just minutes from being completely gone and leaving a nice lavender haze to the sky. 

He had decided at the last minute to take a run. He had avoided running the whole time in the gym because treadmills annoyed him. He felt the track would fall out from under him as he ran and he hated having to adjust the speed every time instead of it just happening naturally.

So running out on the nature trail and around the compound without any restrictions and fresh air was always an easier choice when he decided if he wanted to run that day or not. 

He was on mile 4 when he decided to go a different direction of the normal trail he followed. Even with the new perspective on the trail, nothing seemed to turn his attention away from all the pieces of the neverending puzzle he couldn’t solve in his head. 

He didn’t even realize where he was when he heard a rustle in the treeline and foliage he was running alongside. 

Stopping dead in his tracks, his breath became quickly controlled and quieted as he honed in on the crowded trees that were swaying softly in the night wind. His eyes flitted across the greenery and he waited for something out of place to pop out at him, but it was a completely normal set of trees with nothing odd  in between them. 

His head lowered as he stared harder into the treeline feeling like he wasn’t seeing something he knew was there. He listened carefully trying to decipher if the rustling of the leaves were coming from the ground or the branches. 

Then he smelled something. Something besides the pine and cedarwood that was naturally in the air. It was subtle and anyone without his enhancement wouldn’t even know to look for it. 

His nose wrinkled as he tried to identify it. It was a plant, but nothing that grew out over here. It had a light and airy smell. Something that if in its rightful home would be a compliment to the surrounding scents. But this unique fragrance didn’t belong anywhere in the gardens of Stark’s landscape. 

One more hit of it and it clicked. 

Lavender.

That sparked his curiosity even more and he started stepping toward the darkened space. The amount of leaves grouping together to create large amounts of shade made the moonlight barely peak through. 

But just as the scent got stronger and he got closer, something moved in the bushes and Bucky quickly turned in an intimidating stance toward the motion. 

But again… Nothing was there. 

He swore he heard something. Nothing could make that kind of a noise and turn out to be nothing.

He was on alert, but he never saw anything to confirm his suspicions and the smell of lavender was now a lingering memory. 

He continued to check in paranoia, but came up empty each time. He started back out to the path, and in a trained manner, looked up at the building taking note on what side of the compound he was on and noted what cameras he would check when he got back in. 

But after finding the cameras it dawned on him. He studied the perfectly stacked and aligned windows and noticed it was the living quarters side of the compound. 

Then his heart stopped.

Fourth story up, third window on the left, and on the patio was a birdhouse. One that Sam made in a woodshop last week with his nephews and brought it back. The person he gifted it to was the only person who was kind enough to take it. 

“Y/N.”

He must have stopped breathing because it came out as if he had just been socked in the stomach and finally remembered to breathe. 

He looked back into the woods, seeing the spot where he heard the noise and smelled the soft and subtle hint of lavender. 

When he looked back at the windows, the calculations clicked and the new anxiety he had carried him all the way back up to the rooms without a single stop.

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[may-fanfic]

When All Else Fails, Kiss Me 

summary: the powers you have are quite similar to Wanda’s and an  unbreakable bond is formed between the two of you. After months of pining, Tony’s hatches up a plan to make the two of you official. 

warnings: none 

word count: 2,150 

masterlist 

((feel free to send in any request you may have 💕)) 

--------

You moved through the warehouse, oblivious to the girl who silently moved behind you. It had been easy for wanda to get into people's heads, so she hadn't been concerned when she made herself known to you. You had been quick to spin around at the sound of her voice. wanda felt her breath get caught in the base of her throat. She had never seen someone so beautiful. Wanda almost forgot what she had been in the warehouse for, then it dawned on her, and that's when her eyes grew red.

She had tried a million times before to get into your head and manipulate your thoughts, but she had no way in for some reason. She had been so stunned that she gasped lightly, backing away from you, watching as your own eyes began to glow a soft blue. "don't worry, I won't hurt you." you had been there to catch the girl and turn her into the avengers, you knew they wouldn't hurt her, but you could see the fear in the girl's eyes.

It made you rethink your decision to turn the girl in. "wanda, I need you to trust me." your eyes had been a calming blue that made her feel secure. She wanted everything to trust you, but you had been one of them, and she knew better than ever to get involved with someone from stark industries.

"we're not bad people, wanda." she had rocked her jaw side to side, finally feeling the way everyone else felt when she would read their minds. She hadn't liked it. "I just want you to be safe." in all honesty, you hadn't been lying, but you also knew that you needed wanda in your team. she had been unstoppable, and if ultra got her, you'd be quickly compromised, and ultra would win.

your earpiece boomed with steve's voice, and you quickly replied. "I hadn't seen wanda." your eyes turned your standard shade before you met her gaze again. "think about what I said." and with that, you turned and left the young witch. She had been stunned and felt glued to her place before running off in the other direction.

-----

It hadn't taken long for Pietro and Wanda to join the Avengers, and while she had been relieved to finally be able to settle down after what felt like her whole life of fighting, she could never shake her first incident with you. You had been so kind, gentle with her, and she felt like it had been up to her to repay you somehow.

She always wished she could meet you under other circumstances. The longer wanda knew you, the more stable she felt. Your friendliness had not just been a façade to make the girl trust you, you had genuinely just been the most loving person she had ever met, and Wanda had been more than grateful that she had a friend despite her need for more.

It had been movie night which turned into some tradition with Wanda and Pietro. While getting to know them, they shared that movie night with their parents had become a ritual, and it had been their fondest memories right up until their last one. You had felt like it was your responsibility to make it up to them and continue it with the twins, still, as the time when on Pietro realized that those movie nights had turned into something else for you and wanda. As much as he enjoyed the time spent with his sister and best friend, he wanted to give his sister the space to make a move.

You were cuddling up to Wanda under the blanket. Your head resting softly against her shoulder as her favorite sitcom played on the big screen. She was grinning and giggling at every joke, and you found it endearing. She had always been the happiest during these moments. You didn't understand her attraction to these cheesy sitcoms. Still, whenever she suggested one, you happily obeyed. "this is my favorite part." she quietly spoke through her smile. You perked up, placing your full attention on the screen, chuckling along with her when the husband fell down the stairs but stood right back up.

You settled back onto her shoulder when the scene was over, and wanda found yourself smiling down at you.

It had been a while since wanda found herself truly happy; it was almost too good to be true. She wanted to understand you completely; she wanted to know you inside out. She wanted to know what you thought about her, exactly how you felt, and she knew the only way she could get a clear reading of that was if you let her in. Her hand came up to rest against your head, caressing your locks gently before her lips parted to asked the question.

"can I use my powers on you?" her cheeks had been a tint of pink as her hand moved from your head to your shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. You adjust yourself to look at wanda thoroughly, your gaze gentle and your smile soft. The question itself had been intimate, she was asking for her way in, into somewhere sacred and only yours, and you knew once she had listened to everything for herself, things would change, but it had been a change you were willing to go through for her.

You let a soft giggle escape your lips as your cheeks grew a light pink to match her own, your smile erupted butterflies into that pit of her stomach, and she couldn't help but match your smile. "of course, maxi." you uttered out teasingly.

You sat up straight, facing the girl with a cheeky grin, and despite her nervousness, she still reached forward, her hand coming to rest softly against your cheek, stroking your skin tenderly.

"you can't hurt me," you whispered, noticing the hesitation in her eyes, reaching up to grab the hand placed on your cheek before guiding it to your forehead. she let out a gentle breath. You watched as her eyes turned the shade of red before you fluttered your eyes shut, taking in every way that the girl felt. It hadn't taken long before wanda finished, a gentle smile placed on her lips as she gazed at you. Everything she needed to know, she now knew. She had felt a sense of comfort and completion.

Wanda's gaze snapped from you to the tv, grinning lightly at the scene that played out, pointing at the screen, and eagerly telling you to watch it. You didn't need to use your magic to concur how wanda felt for you, so you had been content, moving back to your previous position leaning against her shoulder once again, watching the silly sitcom again.

------

Wanda came off as reversed to everyone else, but she seemed to be a different person with you. It made it clear for her teammates that she had liked you. It didn't sit right with them that the both of you had been denying your feelings for so long, so they took it upon themselves to hatch up a plan to get the both of you alone together, long enough to confess.

The Avengers assured you the nature of your getaway to the cabin in the woods was for nothing more than a mission. However, when you arrived at the set location, they never picked up your calls for the details.

Letting out a gentle sigh, you made your way into the living room, where you found Wanda sitting. Her head was down as she looked at something in her hands. "anything yet?" you questioned, causing her gaze to snap up to you. "I don't think we'll be hearing for them," she answered, extending her arm out to hand you a piece of paper.

Your eyebrows fluttered together as you took extensive steps to reach out for the paper. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at the written note in hand. 'Enjoy your private getaway, Sincerely, The Avengers.'

Of course, they would do something like this, especially Tony, who had an act for fixing people up. "This is absurd," you commented, setting the paper aside on the coffee table. Wanda shrugged as she took in the state of you. you had been wearing the nightclothes you packed, freshly out of the shower. "I don't know, it's kinda nice," she whispered, causing a gentle breath to fall past your lips, letting your shoulders drop in defeat.

"We should be back in the tower, prepping for the mission, maxi." Wanda stood up from her seat, a smile playing its way onto her lips.  "What is it? You don't want to be alone with me?" she teased playfully, a fake pout tugging at her lips as she neared you.

"You know that's not it," you whispered, arms wrapping around your body to find some comfort. "Then, let's just relax." Wanda urged, smiling down at you. Wanda and yourself have been working your ass to the bone for the job, and you knew that some relaxation would do you good. Besides, there wasn't anyone else in the world you'd enjoy wining down with more.

Both you and wanda had some unresolved feelings towards each other, and even after the night she looked into your brain, you'd never talk about it with her.

----- You and Wanda had been full of giggles after cracking open a bottle of wine you found in the cabin. The two of you sat in the living room, just enjoying each other's company before you called it a night. You had never stood up so late, considering you had set training times with Nat.

You have never seen Wanda so drunk before, and it had been amusing, to say the less. You managed to drink more than Wanda, but yet the girl seemed more intoxicated than ever. The moment had been pleasant, and if you were honest, you never wanted it to end.

"You were right. This is nice," you confessed, smiling down at your wine glass. Wanda hummed in agreement, quickly growing serious for a moment causing your eyes to snap up to Wanda. "you know..." wanda whispered out, her eyes meeting yours. Your eyebrows rose in question, waiting for the girl to continue.

"Tony told me all about his plan to get us out of the compound," she confessed after some time. You watched as her fingers moved around the brim of her glass, and you noticed the way her cheeks turned a bright pink color. "Oh," you uttered out, surprised that Wanda had something to do with this poorly constructed plan.

"Tony knew you wouldn't have approved," she spoke shyly, a frown forming on her lips. "why didn't you tell me?" it wasn't that big of a deal; you didn't mind much in hindsight. She shrugged lightly, her eyes snapping away from yours with embarrassment. "I didn't want you to say no."

"Tony is Tony, Maxi... I would've said yes to you." you'd never say no to wanda, in all honesty. The word didn't exist in your vocabulary when it came to her. You'd do anything she'd ask of you. That's how you knew you were completely and utterly in love with Wanda.

Wanda just wanted you to herself for some time. That's why she even agreed to Tony's plan. You were always so occupied with training and other things that Wanda hardly got the time to relax with you. She set down her glass on the coffee table, giving you all her attention.

"I just wanted alone time." her words made a small smile form on the corners of your lips. "why?" you questioned softly, wanting to force it out of her that she was just as in love with you as you were her. She had never actually said it, and as patient as you tried to be, you could only take it for so much longer.

She let out a sigh, her eyes burning into yours. "You know why," she replied, your eyes narrowed at hers, a grin finding its way onto your lips.

"Say it." you urged, inching dangerously closer to her until you hardly had space left. You could feel her breath fan out over your face as she tried to find the right words to say to you. When she felt as words wouldn't have done her feelings justice, she leaned forward until her lips collapsed with yours. The kiss was short and sweet, but it still made up for all the times she hadn't said enough.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" the girl childishly uttered out after the initial shock of the kiss worn off. a soft giggle escaped your lips as you nodded, causing a goofy smile to form on wanda’s lips before she leaned in to grace you with another kiss.

You made a mental note to thank Tony for his genius plan.

[syllvane]

breakfast- natahsa romanoff x reader

a/n: this was requested by anon! this is 4.5k words.

You still haven’t gotten used to the quiet that comes with half of the population being gone, but you can’t quite remember what it was like before either- you vaguely remember the hustle and bustle of life before the Blip, but that's all it’s become. A memory, one that seems to become harder to recall each and every day.

“What are you doing here so early?”

You nearly dropped the groceries that you had been holding, startled by Natasha’s voice in the hallway leading into the kitchen.

“You scared me- you’re lucky I wasn’t holding the eggs or something.”

Natasha looked at you somewhat amused, making her way into the kitchen and leaning against one of the counters.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

You glanced at her, smiling before turning back to where you were unloading the groceries.

“I was going to surprise you with breakfast, though I suppose it was silly to think I could surprise a spy.”

You didn’t miss the small smile that appeared on her face as you started unloading the groceries anyways, getting ready to cook.

“Silly, maybe, but also sweet. What can I do to help?” Natasha asked and you shook your head, pointing at her with the plastic spoon you had grabbed.

“Sit down, you’ve been doing a lot these past couple months- too much, I would argue. Let me do something for you.”

“You’re selling yourself short. You’ve been doing a lot around here as well,” Natasha protested and you gave her a pointed look before going back to cooking.

“If you really want to do something, then you can make us coffee. But nothing else. I want you to relax.”

“Coffee, I can do that,” She mumbled, springing into action, her arm brushing against yours as she filled up the coffee maker with hot water.

The next time you try to surprise her with breakfast is a little under a week later and when you walk into the Avengers compound, you are met with the smell of freshly cooked breakfast.

Damn her.

You walked into the kitchen, still carrying groceries, to see that Natasha had cooked what could only be described as a feast.

She looked at you, proud that she had one-upped you.

“How did you know?” You asked her, simply setting the groceries to the side.

She looked at you as if she was considering whether to lie or not.

“I didn’t,” She said honestly and almost a bit sheepishly. “I cooked every morning hoping that you’d show up one of these days. I know it’s silly.”

“It’s not, it’s…” You looked over the different plates of food as if one of them held the right words. “It’s incredibly sweet. I’ll make the coffee?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Breakfast becomes a regular occurrence for the two of you and although half of the universe had to disappear for the two of you to grow closer, you don’t mind it as much as you should.

“Hey,” Natasha said, drawing your attention as the two of you washed dishes side by side, your arms touching each other. “I’m going to have to cancel our breakfast date on Thursday. I think I may have a lead on Clint and so I want to go and see it for myself.”

“You want company?” You asked without hesitation and she looked at you.

“I don’t want to bother you and besides, I don’t think anything will come of it.”

“Okay well, one, you could never bother me, and two, even if nothing comes out of it, you shouldn’t have to do it alone.”

She didn’t say anything, though a small smile appeared on her face as she loaded the last of the plates and bowls into the dishwasher.

Though the prospect of you coming with seemed to make her happy for reasons she didn’t quite understand, she pushed you away.

“I’ll be fine alone, I promise.”

“Okay, if you promise,” You said, flicking a bit of the soapy water at her.

She stopped moving and looked at you incredulously.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Did what, this?” You asked, doing it again, more boldly this time

She looked at you and though everything about her face screamed ‘serious’, her eyes were alight with playfulness.

She stalked back over towards the sink and although you backed away and lifted your arms to protect yourself, she splashed you nonetheless.

Grabbing the nearest ingredient towards you, you lifted a hand full of flour and aimed it towards her.

“You don’t have to do this,” She said, walking towards you slowly with her hands lifted up as if she was surrendering. “Just drop-”

Before she can finish her sentence, you threw the flour at her.

Her face is covered in flour, clumps of it sticking to her face where you had splashed water previously and she stared at you in surprise, a smile still on her face.

Before you could even process what she was doing, she had her own handful of flour and threw it onto you, the flour coating your clothes and face, as well as the counters and the floor.

You lunged for the flour but she caught your wrist, your eyes meeting hers.

You reached your other hand towards it and she caught that as well, pulling you close to her, closer than you had ever been to her.

“Don’t,” She said softly, her eyes bright. “Don’t start a fight that you can’t win.”

“And where’s the fun in that?” You asked and she let go of your wrists, letting your hands fall back to your side and taking a step backwards.

“We should clean this up- Steve’s going to throw a fit if he sees this mess.”

“You have a meeting in a little bit, you can go. I got this.”

“Nonsense, I threw just as much flour as you. You take the island and the counters, I’ll take the cabinets and floors. It’ll get done quicker this way.”

“Nat-”

“Just… let me help you. Please.”

“You’re impossible,” You said but didn’t protest against her helping any longer.

As Natasha pointed out, the kitchen was completely clean in half of the time that it would’ve taken for your to clean it alone, leaving Natasha more than enough time to change her clothes and to get any remnants of flour off of her face and out of her hair before her meeting.

Well, almost all of it.

“Nat, wait!” You yelled, running after her before she turned the holographs on.

She turned and looked at you, concerned.

“What is it?”

“You just had a little…”

You got close to her and using your thumb, you wiped some flour off of her face that she hadn’t noticed.

“Thank you,” She said softly and the two of you just stood there like that for a couple of seconds before you pulled yourself away.

“Right. Have a good meeting, Natasha,” You said before turning away, not waiting for her response.

That’s the last time you have a full conversation with her before she goes looking for Clint.

You’re almost done making breakfast when she enters through the front door, looking worn out and exhausted, dropping her bag onto the floor.

She continued into the kitchen, blinking when she noticed you staring at her and the food that you had already set onto the table.

“How did you…” She sniffed, wiping her nose, searching for the words.

You turned the stove burner off and closed the distance between the two of you, pulling her into a tight hug.

She hugged you back just as tightly as if you were a lifeboat and she was drowning in the middle of the ocean.

“I don’t know who he is anymore. I don’t… I don’t recognize the man who did those things.”

“I know, Nat.”

“And he acts like we didn’t lose everything as well. We lost everything as well and yet, we continue, no matter how much we’ve lost, because we don’t have the luxury of playing vigilante. Some of us have a world that we’re trying to put back together, you know?”

“I know,” You said softly.

She doesn’t say anything for a while, just stands there in your arms.

“I miss Yelena. I miss Alexei and Melina. I miss them so much it feels like I’m just drowning in it. Like it’s just going to swallow me whole one day.”

“Tell me about them.”

And so she does.

She tells you about Ohio and about life in between her time in the Red Room. She tells you about the destruction of the Red Room and about Yelena buying and giving to Natasha the first item of clothing that she had ever bought. She tells you about forest stars and photo booths and blue hair dye.

She tells you more than she has ever told anyone else, more than she will ever tell anyone else.

And eventually, she lets go.

Her face is red from tears, but neither of you point it out, both of you sitting down at the table and eating breakfast.

“I think this is the first proper meal I’ve had in days,” She said and you frowned at her, your eyes narrowing.

“You need to take better care of yourself. When was the last time you slept?”

She looked away from your eyes, back towards the plate of food.

“Haven’t since I left,” She said quietly, her eyes flickering back up towards yours to see your reaction.

The creases by your eyes deepened.

“Natasha-”

“In all fairness, I was going to go to sleep as soon as I got back, but someone surprised me with breakfast,” She said, punctuating her sentence with a forkful of food.

“Okay, but we’re going to sleep right after you’re done, okay?”

“‘We’?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m tired too,” You said sheepishly and in her tiredness, she did not push you further on it.

She pushed her plate away from her a little, standing up and taking your hand.

“We can do dishes later. Let’s go to sleep,” She said and you stood up, letting her lead you to her bedroom.

She pulled you onto her bed and you fell asleep in her arms, which was somehow only the second most romantic thing you had done with Natasha Romanoff.

The first was, of course, falling in love with her.

If someone had asked you to point out a specific month or day that you had fallen in love with her, you wouldn’t know where to begin.

Months of friendship blended together with something more and you weren’t quite sure where your feelings for her began and where they ended, where they had transitioned into something more, something greater.

It didn’t really matter, you supposed- months passed since her return from looking for Clint and things continued on as normal, with breakfasts and small touches, gestures from her that could be easily misconstrued as something more than friendship.

You didn’t mind the closeness though, the way her hands always seemed to graze over yours when reaching for the same thing or the way her arm would touch yours when the two of you did the dishes.

You didn’t mind it, just wished for more of it. Wished that she would just take your hand outright one day.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? Dinner is a little out of your wheelhouse,” Natasha joked and you rolled your eyes.

“I’m sure I’ll manage. Is it just Steve that’s coming tonight or are we getting the whole gang back together?”

“Just Steve, I’m pretty sure. Banner might come as well, but Pepper and Tony aren’t coming for sure.”

“Well, at least that minimizes the chances of a fight breaking out.”

“I can start throwing punches if needed,” She offered and you looked at her, a small smile on your lips.

“Appreciate the offer, but I think we’re good.”

“Well, if you change your mind…”

“I’ll let you know,” You smiled. “Now are you going to help me make dinner or not?”

The two of you easily fell into a rhythm while you cooked, anticipating each other’s needs before the other even said anything. Natasha would open her mouth to ask for a knife to find that you were already setting it down beside her.

“You know, I think we make a good team,” You said, your hands on your hips as you looked over all the hard work that the two of you had done.

Natasha wiped her hands on a towel before standing beside you, nodding.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen this kitchen used before, not like this,” Steve noted, standing in the doorway behind the two of you.

Though both of you were well-trained in stealth and surveillance, you almost jumped when you heard Steve’s voice.

“Don’t sneak up on us like that!” You scolded Steve and before you even asked for it, Natasha handed you the towel that she had been holding and you threw it at him.

He held his hands up in defense, the corners of his eyes creasing as he smiled. He caught it with ease and set it down on the island.

“Now, there’s no need for violence. It smells great in here, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day where she would be cooking,” He said, motioning towards Natasha.

“She’s working on it,” You joked and Natasha gave you a pointed look, suddenly wishing that she still had her towel. She settled for swatting at your arm with her hand. “Hey! Like the old man said, no need for violence. I was just joking.”

“What, I’m five minutes late and you guys are already fighting?” Bruce asked, walking in the front door.

“You came!” You smiled widely, walking over to the scientist and hugging him.

Steve looked back at Natasha.

“Can you believe that? He gets a hug and I get a towel thrown at me.”

Natasha let out a breathy laugh.

“You startled her, that was your first mistake.”

Steve smiled as well before grabbing one of the various dishes that the two of you had made and bringing it to the dining table.

Natasha started moving the dishes as well, giving a small, cursory nod to Bruce as he sat down.

You swatted at Steve’s arm.

��Dude, you need to sit down. You’re a guest.”

Steve looked at Natasha, pointing at you.

“Do you see this? She’s going to injure me.”

You shot him a playful glare before helping Natasha with the rest of the dishes and the silverware, setting plates down in front of everyone and taking a seat next to Natasha, across from Steve and Bruce.

Dinner started off lighthearted, the four of your digging into the food.

You talked of past stories and past missions and science and of everything but the unavoidable present, the reality that everyone had been stuck in for more than a year now.

It seemed crazy when you thought about it like that, that half of the population had been gone for over a year, a full rotation around the sun without some of your favorite people.

It was dark outside when the conversation shifted.

“So, how have you guys been with… everything?” Natasha asked and a hush fell around the table.

“I don’t know if it’ll ever get any easier,” Steve said honestly.

“I don’t know how it could get worse,” Natasha retorted, though everyone already knew the answer.

“Another year. Another two, another ten,” Bruce said solemnly before taking another sip of the water that was in front of him. He checked his watch and blinked, realizing for the first time how late it had gotten. “Sorry to leave on that note, but I should get going, guys. Didn’t realize how late it was.”

“I’m glad you came. It was nice seeing you again,” You said genuinely, standing up from the table and walking over to hug him.

He hugged you back, giving Natasha a little wave and Steve a pat on the back before you walked him out of the kitchen, towards the front door.

“You two make a good couple, you know. I didn’t realize the two of you were even dating, but you two seem to make each other very happy.”

“Thank you, but we’re not dating,” Natasha said, her lips pressed together in a tight smile.

Steve raised his eyebrows.

“Are you sure? Because with the way the two of you were looking at each other, I would’ve sworn otherwise.”

“Positive,” Natasha said, trying to stop herself from blushing.

“What are you two talking about?” You asked, walking back into the room.

Steve stood up from where he was sitting and you narrowed your eyes at him.

“You’re leaving us too?”

“Like Bruce pointed out, it’s getting late. It was so nice seeing both of you.”

You stood there for a minute before walking to where he was standing and hugging him.

“Don’t be a stranger, Steve. You are always welcome here,” You said before taking a step back.

He smiled back at you.

“I would hope so- I still technically work here, right?”

“Did Tony ever rehire you?” You wondered out loud.

“Did he ever rehire you?” He shot back and you shrugged.

“Fair point.”

“Drive safe, old man,” Natasha said before Steve hugged her as well.

“Goodnight, to the both of you.”

He walked out of the front door and you began cleaning up the dishes.

“Steve said the funniest thing earlier, when you were walking Bruce out.”

“Oh?” You asked, making it clear that you were listening even if you weren’t looking at her.

“He thought we were dating.”

You stopped what you were doing, turning the water off and setting the plate down.

“What did you say?”

“I just told him the truth, that we weren’t.”

“Why did he think that we were?” You asked, trying your best to seem as if your heart wasn’t pounding.

“Something about the way we look at each other,” She said as if she hadn’t committed the words to memory.

“Natasha-”

“I mean, it’d probably be a bad idea, with us working together and all.”

“Natasha.”

“And neither of us are really used to it either and-”

You turned around, taking a couple of steps so that you were only a couple of inches away from her.

Your hand hovered above her cheek.

“Can I kiss you?”

Her breath hitched.

“Yes.”

And you kissed her.

You kissed her that night and you kissed her the morning after, as her girlfriend, and you kissed her while she made breakfast and you kissed her again and again and again.

You kissed her on your six-month anniversary and you held her when she woke up from the nightmares she’d tell you about and the ones that she would never speak of.

And you keep on kissing her, until six months becomes a year and a year becomes two, until you can’t imagine a world that exists without her love.

“I’m still mad at you for getting out of bed so early,” You grumbled, looking over the breakfast that she had prepared for the two of you.

She nearly jumped when she heard your voice before she smiled warmly and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Morning. How did you sleep?” She asked, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek.

“Good. Would’ve been better if I could’ve slept a few more hours.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, though she seemed uncharacteristically anxious.

“We can go back to bed after, okay? Breakfast first.”

“This looks wonderful,” You said, wiping your bleary eyes and looking over the table more carefully before looking back at her. You poured coffee for the two of you. “You seem like you’re on edge.”

“I’m not,” She said, though you weren’t fully convinced. “Let’s eat.”

You sat down across from her, starting to eat when you became keenly aware of the fact that she was carefully watching you as you ate.

You set your utensils down and she nearly jumped out of her seat.

“Nat, what is going on?”

She blinked.

“Nothing, I-”

“You are a surprisingly bad liar, for a spy. Nat, just tell me what is-”

“Can you just… try the pancakes? Please?”

You stared at her for a couple of seconds but when her face remained unchanged, you sighed and cut a piece of the pancake and put it in your mouth.

You started chewing and you bit something hard.

“Did you leave eggshells in this or… oh.” You spit the bit on the napkin and upon closer examination, you could see what you were biting.

A ring.

You stared at it for a couple of seconds before looking back at where she was sitting to see that she was no longer sitting at all, but kneeling on the ground in front of you, a huge smile on her face and tears welling up in her eyes.

You laughed, covering your mouth.

“I’ve always known that you’re a hero. You’ve always shown such great care for everyone around you, whether they be your team members or civilians. You’ve saved so many people and I didn’t realize this when you first came over here and made breakfast for the first time, but you were saving me as well. From my grief, from loneliness. From myself, at times. You saved me and then you kept on saving me and kept on tearing down these walls that I had put up. I am not perfect and I will never promise you anything of the sort, but I am promising you that I will love you with everything that I am. I am promising that I will try to love you in the same way that you have loved me. I’ve never believed in marriage- I’ve never believed in a lot, if we’re being honest. But I believe in you. And I want to marry you, if you’ll have me.”

You didn’t say anything, tears in your own eyes before you burst out half-laughing and half-crying.

“Natasha, look in your coffee cup.”

She looked slightly confused but she did as you said, moving the coffee cup slightly so that she could see the bottom.

Her free hand rushed up to her mouth before she started laugh-crying as well and you got up and the two of you hugged tightly.

“I think that was the worst pancake I’ve ever had,” You mumbled into the crook of her shoulder, still laughing.

She began to laugh even harder, the two of you rocking in the kitchen.

After the two of you broke apart, she fished the ring that you had placed in her coffee out, admiring it.

“You never said yes, you know,” She pointed out and you looked at her, cleaning the ring she had given to you.

“Yes, I’ll marry you. I’ll marry you today or tomorrow or in a million years.”

“My answer is yes too. Though preferably not in a million years.”

A million years may have been a more reasonable time than you had thought- the two of you originally set a wedding date in the winter, though it was interrupted by a string of killings committed by Clint.

Turns out, he is good for more than making Natasha upset by not coming to your wedding, he’s also good for upheaving your wedding day in its entirety.

You reschedule the date a couple of months later, only for a couple of Widows to call for Natasha’s help in saving one of their own. She can’t refuse and you would never ask her to.

“I don’t know if it’ll ever be the right time,” Natasha said softly, laying next to you in bed, a couple of nights after returning from the mission.

You turned over so that you were facing her.

“For the wedding?”

She nodded.

“I don’t think it’ll feel right if everyone isn’t there with us. I know that you’ve been really busy planning for it, but-"

“Nat, I don’t care about a wedding. I don’t need some ceremony to tell you how much I love you. If you want to stay like this, if you don’t want a ceremony or anything, then okay. All I need is you.”

“How did I get so lucky?”

“You’re really good at cooking breakfast,” You mumbled back and she laughed.

“I love you.”

“I know,” You said sleepily, barely able to keep your eyes open. “I love you too.”

The bubble of peace that you had managed to create for all these years remains for another, until Scott Lang shows up at the front door to the Avengers Compound.

From there, the bubble completely popped, not that either of you minded much.

This was what you both wanted, right? Everything back to what it was before.

Now, with Tony’s plan, everyone seemed to be running around the Avenger’s Compound again, everyone anxious to do something useful after all of these years.

“I still don’t like that he’s here,” You said begrudgingly and Natasha sighed. “He isn’t the Clint either of us knew.”

“I had to go after him. He deserves a chance at forgiveness,” She argued quietly, careful not to be overheard. “You’ve forgiven me for everything I’ve done. Why can’t you forgive him?”

“Because everything you’ve done since you left the Red Room has been in service of clearing out your ledger. He was killing people a couple of days ago.”

She didn’t say anything at that, thinking.

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

“I’m not asking to invite him to our wedding, I’m just asking you to trust him.”

You looked at her, unable to stop the smile that started on your face.

“We can finally get married- we can have our families at our wedding,” You said softly and she nodded, a small smile appearing on her lips as well.

“God, I can’t wait to introduce you to my family. I can’t wait to meet yours. I think you and Yelena are going to get along a lot.”

“Okay,” You said after a while. “I trust him.”

The two of you started walking towards the main open floor, where the machine that Tony had dreamt up had been constructed.

The others were already waiting there in their suits, waiting for your conversation to finish up.

“Okay. It’s Vormir, right? Where you and Clint are going?” Natasha nodded, her forehead leaning against yours. “Okay, well, you’re going to have to tell me all about it when you get back. I wish I was going in space.”

She smiled, kissing you on the forehead before proceeding to pepper your entire face with kisses before landing on your lips.

You don’t think you’ll ever be able to kiss her enough.

“Yeah, you only get to time travel,” She smiled. “I’ll tell you all about it, I promise. I love you.”

“I love you too. Come back home, okay? I’ll have breakfast waiting.”

“Okay,” She said softly, stepping back. “I’ll make the coffee.”

“You don’t have to do anything, just be there. Just be there, Nat.”

“I will,” She said, beaming. “I promise I will.”

In the last moments you’re with her, she looks the happiest that you’ve ever seen her.

[nev3rfound]

the other widow : b.b

natasha may have left what she once knew behind when she became an avenger, but there is still so much more to learn about her sister who escaped the red room with the help of a certain metal armed soldier. (3k)

masterlist / permanent taglist / etsy shop - requests open!

requested: yes! this has been a long awaited idea from @ateliefloresdaprimavera i hope you like it love :) warnings: mentions of violence, blood, nightmares. obviously, I haven't seen the black widow movie so this is just my interpretation!

(everything on my blog is my own writing. if it is shared on another page or website without being credited, it has not been approved to be shared by me. all rights reserved.)

In another life, things might've been different for you. Perhaps, you could have left your home country and followed many your age in their quest to find a better life in America or Europe. You might have met someone, a kind man who took care of you, who loved you deeply.

That would have been nice, in another lifetime. But it wasn't reality, at least, not yours.

Your reality was living in a world plagued by nightmares, of what was done to you for many years. It hurt to blink as you saw yourself, lying back on that table as Doctors crowded around you, muttering about the success of their work.

"No, she's still out there," Your ears perk up at the conversation behind you. The kitchen window remains open whilst you sit outside, tugging at the rose petals from the rose bush. It always was too pretty. Pretty things aren't designed to last for long.

Melina sighs heavily into her phone, glancing away from the window. "What do you expect me to do? She doesn't go anywhere." Disappointment laces her tone combined with the tiredness of her mind. She's been trying for months to encourage you to go out, further than the land you live on.

Faintly you can hear the other end of the conversation, Melina always had a habit of keeping her phone on speaker. "I might visit soon." That is all you managed to hear, but it was enough for you to drop the remainder of the rose and crush the petals beneath your feet.

"Oh good, you're awake." A pair of gloves snap against his wrists, causing you to flinch in your seat. "Now, Y/n, there's no point trying to struggle, you know what happened last time." Doctor Yeznik reminds you with a twisted smile, waiting for you to nod.

"They deserved it." You dare to mutter, only to hear Yeznik chuckle before he turns back to face you, gripping your face in his hand.

"And you deserve this." He seethes, stabbing a needle into your arm before you can fight back. "No one is coming to save you, Y/n, never forget that." Yeznik whispers, watching as your eyes begin to droop until you're unable to fight the urge to sleep.

Rising to your feet, you can feel a smile ghost your lips at the sight of a Blue Tit perching on the edge of the birdbath. One of his wings isn't quite right, and as you approach it, it remains perfectly still.

Holding your hands out, you ignore the scars from the restraints still marking your wrists and forearms. "I won't hurt you," You tell the bird as it dips its head into the water, shaking the excess off. "I can help you, little one." You add quietly, only to watch the bird retreat and fly away uneasily.

"There's always next time." Melina calls out from the doorway, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Yeah," You nod, lowering your arms and bury your hands into your pockets. "if it makes it through the night without being able to fly far."

Entering the kitchen, you pass Alexei in silence, despite him turning his head to speak up.

Once out of sight, Alexei averts his attention to Melina who simply shakes her head. "She's still working on recovering." Melina sighs, taking a seat opposite the broad man. "The, the red room got worse after Natasha escaped."

"You don't have to explain," Alexei waves her off, aware of you standing at the top of the stairs, listening in due to the creak of the floorboards. "it'll take time."

"I just don't know if that's something we have." Melina comments, passing a burner phone to Alexei with a text message on display.

Shifting in his seat, Alexei looks back at Melina before crushing the phone in his grasp. "We'll do what we can." He mutters before silence ensues and the pressure from the floorboard beneath your feet eases as you return to your needed solitude.

*

Opening your eyes, you knew something was off, something was different within the house.

Underneath your pillow, you grab ahold of your gun before traipsing out from your room which remains in permanent darkness.

As you exit your bedroom, light tries to seep through the gap in the door but you quietly close it, keeping the darkness concealed from the light.

Avoiding any creaking floorboards, you keep your gun aimed at all times before the faint sound of laughter catches your attention from downstairs. It was a rarity to hear anything joyous in the household, mostly arguments occurred or stories of fights Alexei shares that you can recite from memory if you were ever asked.

But this was different, something lighthearted shared for a brief moment before you turn the corner and hover by the kitchen doorway seeing all the seats taken at the table, Melina's now taken by a redhead.

"This is a surprise." You speak up, placing your gun on the counter, now catching everyone's attention.

Smiling to Yelena, Natasha quickly turns around in her chair, leaning her arm over the back. "Hey sis," She greets you, her accent replaced by an American version. "long time no see, huh?"

Everyone in the room remains still, waiting for you to make the first move like a scared animal. You'll either scarper or approach with caution, and even at that moment, you're unsure which route you'll take.

"What brings you back here?" You ask, crossing your arms over your chest as you remain standing, despite Alexei rising to his feet and offering you his chair.

"There's some unfinished business I have to deal with." Natasha states, and Yelena motions for you to come closer whilst Natasha has her back turned.

"And we're being dragged into it somehow?" You're quick to comment, remembering the last time it happened which resulted in your previous home being burnt to the ground and Natasha vanishing into thin air once more.

Rising to her feet, Natasha walks over to the doorway leading into the garden. She doesn't wait for you to follow, but she knows eventually you will.

"She means well, Y/n." Yelena tells you whilst playing with a knife, jabbing it against the table despite Melina swatting it away.

Humming to yourself, you force your feet forward until you're outside, listening to the peaceful presence of nature.

Whilst you're in your own world temporarily, Natasha can't help but take the opportunity to observe you, notice the changes since she last saw you. Melina explained the nightmares you've been having of late, how you wake up clawing at your own skin until it bleeds and you clutching onto a pillow, tearing into the cotton with ease as you sob.

You look visibly drained, that much Natasha can tell. She knew she should've brought you with her, away to America the last time she was here, but there wasn't enough time. She watched you from afar as the building fell into itself, devoured by the flames and you looking around for your sister, nowhere to be seen.

"There's a little blue tit who visits daily now," You begin to explain, opening your eyes as they remain trained on the empty birdbath. "he's got a damaged wing, can't fly very far but he always visits." Moving closer to the bath, you can see the reflection of other birds flying above in groups. One or two flies further back from the others, flapping their wings in desperation to not be left behind; something you know all too well.

As your hands rest on the birdbath, Natasha can see the scars across your skin clearly.

"Y/n, I never got a chance to apologise last time I was here," Natasha begins, stepping closer toward you, yet you seem oblivious to her words.

"And I hope at some point he'll let me help him, mend him back to his best so he can fly away." Your lips rise for a second at the thought before returning to a straight line, now allowing yourself to process Natasha's statement. "You don't need to apologise, Nat."

"But I do, Y/n." Natasha urges as she resists reaching out for your hand, knowing no one touches you anymore unless they dare risk a broken bone or two. "I should've found you in there and taken you with me. You were still a child, I,"

"I don't blame you, sister." Turning to face her, you force yourself to smile, an attempt to reassure her as she frowns deeply. "The only person I blame for everything is Yeznik." You can't help but shudder, hearing his voice in the back of your mind, one of the many who taunts you in your sleep.

"That's why I'm here." Natasha states.

You can't stop the scoff from leaving your lips. "You can't be serious, Natasha." Yet, you watch your sister nod immediately. "Do you want to get yourself killed?"

"I could ask you the same thing." She retorts, catching you off guard. "Don't think I don't know about the truth behind your escape, Y/n."

"What are you talking about?" You question, knowing better than to confess to your sister of all people. "I escaped that hell hole on my own. Killed several guards in the process and escaped with nine bullet wounds." You remind her, lifting your shirt to show the bullet wound scars that never properly healed.

"But you didn't escape from the Red Room. You escaped during a mission." She explains, watching your expression falter for half a second, but it was enough for her to know you're lying.

Shaking your head, you back away toward the small hutch hidden beneath an oak tree that currently houses three rabbits.

"That is preposterous, even for me, Natasha." You chuckle, opening the hutch and reach for the number one who happily hops out and stands beside you.

Looking away from you, Natasha can see the three others watching closely from the kitchen window. She can see Yelena mouthing something, but rolls her eyes when Natasha shakes her head.

"The Winter Soldier." Yelena marches over, causing you to tense up and the rabbit hops back into the hutch as you gently lock it once more. "Remember him, Y/n?"

"His name is Bucky." You mutter under your breath before slowly standing up. "And don't you dare talk about him." You spit at Yelena who spares Natasha a look.

"You helped each other escape, didn't you?" Natasha pushes her question, and this time to her surprise you don't object.

"Follow me," You sigh, walking around the garden to a set of stairs, leading you to the rooftop filled with trees and plants.

Admiring the greenery, Natasha hesitantly follows behind you.

"You going to stand there all day or sit down?" Raising a brow to Natasha, she breathes out a laugh and sits down on one of the seats dotted around that isn't taken by a plant.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Natasha leans forward, resting her forearms on her thighs and you mirror her action.

"Yes." You mutter. "But I can't remember everything it, part of it I blocked out." You admit, feeling your leg already beginning to shake beneath you.

"You will be accompanied this time, Y/n." Your tutor, Ms Ivanov tugs on your ponytail forcefully whilst you remain seated.

"I don't need company." Tugging your head forward, her fingers fall through the ends of your hair and she hums in response. "I'm capable of this myself."

Ms Ivanov chuckles under her breath before standing in front of your desk, resting her hands on the sides as her eyes fixate on yours. "That might be so, but not this time." Pushing her hands from your desk, Ivanov nods to the closed door.

Within seconds someone is forced through the metal frame with a bag covering their face. They're of a large build, but your eyes widen at the sight of metal making up their left arm.

"Is it?" Your question leaves your lips before you've fully thought about what this means, and Ivanov smirks.

Stepping toward the concealed figure, she tugs the sheet from their face, revealing a mass of brown hair.

He lifts his head up and stares at you immediately those pensive blue eyes you've heard whispers of. He fights against his restraints as two guards stand behind him with loaded guns.

"There will be plenty of time for that, soldat." Ivanov laughs, patting his metal arm. "Now, Y/n. It's time to go."

*

"I don't know what happened on that mission. But when I woke up, I, I was free." Unable to look at your sister, your focus lies on the breeze weaving through the branches of the trees.

Natasha leans forward, wishing she could tell you everything she knew. "You saved each other, Y/n." She speaks up, remembering the last time she saw him, a broken shell of the man he once was, his demeanour mirroring yours.

"I guess," You shrug. "but after everything, I, I have no idea what happened to him. I, I don't even know if he's still," Pursing your lips, the word never leaves as you curl your arms toward your stomach.

Looking toward the others, Natasha sighs at their disapproving glares. She knows they mean well, that they are practically family. But you're the only true blood family Natasha has left, and she can't lie to you anymore, not this time.

Standing in Wakanda, Bucky smiled truly for the first time in years. He was no longer plagued by the fear of becoming the Winter Soldier. He was finally free of it all.

But he still had a long way to go, to make amends for those he hurt, and amongst everyone, there was you. His Black Widow, Y/n.

"Hey, Barnes." Natasha stands beside him, looking out at the vast farmland that surrounds them. She can't help but think how much you would love to be somewhere like this, somewhere that is peaceful, tranquil.

"Hello, Natasha." Bucky turns to face the redhead, having not spoken to her since he was under Zemo's control. "I erm, I would like to apologise for everything I did, and for hurting you all those years ago." Bucky explains, and Natasha patiently listens, allowing him to get his full speech out. "And for what they made me do in," Furrowing his brows together, Natasha clears her throat.

"We don't have to talk about that." She tells him as she reaches into her pocket, taking out a folded piece of paper, well worn. "I wanted to ask you something before anyone knows where I am."

"Okay?" Bucky answers uneasily, tugging on the cloth that covers the remainder of his left shoulder.

Unfolding the piece of paper, Bucky can see a glimpse of a black and white photo.

"Here," Natasha holds the photograph out, face down to Bucky who hesitantly accepts. She watches intently as he turns the photograph over and can't help but smile as his breath hitches in his throat.

"Y/n." Bucky looks up to Natasha who simply nods.

"I was wondering if you'd remember her." Natasha crosses her arms over her chest, trying to hide the smirk forming on her face and amusement in her tone.

A playful scoff leaves Bucky's lips. "How could I forget her?" He thinks aloud. "I could never forget the person who helped me escape, who, who," 'Helped me realise I'm still human despite everything I've done.' Bucky thinks to himself, remembering the night before he left you as you lay in his arms whilst he listened to your soft reassurances. "Do you know where she is?" He tries to hide the hope in his voice, but it's useless.

"Yes." Natasha answers. "Y/n Romanoff." She states, and Bucky stares blankly at Natasha for a moment, before a light laugh leaves his lips.

"I shoulda known." He sighs dramatically. "Makes a lot of sense now." Bucky mutters, but Natasha doesn't pry. "Is, is she with you?" He glances past her, toward the jet she came on, but Natasha shakes her head.

"She's safe, in Russia." Natasha explains as she walks alongside Bucky toward the lake. "But she prefers the company of animals over people these days."

"Makes two of us then." Bucky comments. "I, I promised I'd find her." Allowing his mind to drift as the lake ripples, Bucky pictures your sleeping form in his arms minutes before he left you. He whispered you a promise, one he has yet to fulfil.

"Then let me help you keep that promise." Natasha places her hand on his arm gently, and Bucky snaps out from his thoughts. "I know you're still healing, and she is too. But I'll come back, Barnes."

Bucky nods. "Thank you, Natasha."

"James Barnes," Natasha slowly interrupts your prolonged silence. "is still alive, he, he's healing, but he remembers you, Y/n."

You reach out and take Natasha's hand in yours. For a moment, you simply stare, void of emotion before tightening your grip, beginning to crush her fingers whilst Natasha remains stoic.

"Don't lie to me, Nat." You tell her, keeping your eyes locked on hers.

"I'm not lying, Y/n." She responds, ignoring the pain you're inflicting before your grip begins to ease, but she doesn't pull away immediately. "He made you a promise, didn't he?"

"I, I don't know." You admit sadly, looking down at your lap, faintly hearing his voice in the back of your mind fighting through the horrid memories engrained there from the red room.

"He did, Y/n." Natasha asserts herself. "Would you like to see him?"

"I think so." You answer honestly as you uncurl your body and sit upright. "But only once this is over. Once Yeznik is gone. I don't want to be haunted anymore, Nat."

This time, Natasha extends her hand, taking yours in hers delicately.

"Okay, sis." She breathes out, helping you to your feet. "Let's get started."

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