#and yet not enough ruojue

[songofclarity]

Oooh, WRH/NMJ, either (1) the first moment WRH realized he had a Thing for NMJ or (2) arranged marriage AU with all the awkwardness that entails :)

Thank you for the prompt! Let's try the first moment Wen RuoHan realized he had a Thing for Nie MingJue~ I am weak for Wen RuoHan admiring Nie MingJue over something that never gets fully appreciated by anyone else, and having it happen during this occasion is just the cherry on top ❤

☀️

“It sounds like they’re preparing for war up ahead,” Wen Qing said. “Let’s turn back, Uncle.”

They walked the stone paths under the trees of the Unclean Realm with their fans fluttering in front of them. Although the day was sliding into evening, the searing heat had yet to follow suit. Yells and shouts and the ring of steel on steel grew louder as they moved along. They had passed plenty of closed doors and shut gates, nothing that would have prevented Wen RuoHan if he truly wanted to explore, but no one had stopped them strolling the open grounds which had led them to this place.

“Have you ever seen saber practice?” Wen RuoHan asked.

“Years ago when suddenly everyone had a saber for a week, but no one was shouting about it.”

“The Qinghe Nie are a fiercely prideful sect. This is how they welcome us to their discussion conferences.”

Wen Qing sighed. “Frighten us off, you mean?”

“Don't tell me some shouting has frightened you, A-Qing.”

There were few braver than she, however, and even the suggestion did not phase her. Only as they approached a stone arch and the sound of training grew louder did she show any sign of reluctance. “Where are we going?”

Wen RuoHan smiled. “We are taking a closer look.” There was very little reason to attend these conferences beyond seeing what the other sects were doing. Tradition ran deep, however, and methods rarely changed. He wasn’t expecting much, but it was Wen Qing’s first time in the Unclean Realm. A clever girl had grown up into a clever young woman, with fresh eyes that might notice what he himself did not.

Instead, she said, “Sect Leader Nie sent instructions we were to remain at our residence and the Sword Hall this week. It might be best not to push him at his first discussion conference.”

Upon taking the role of sect leader in the wake of his father's death, Nie MingJue had infamously avoided attending the discussion conferences held in Qishan, Lanling, Yunmeng, and Gusu. Only when hosting finally fell upon the Qinghe Nie in rotation did he finally relent to obligation.

Wen RuoHan couldn't blame him. Discussion conferences had become weary when Wen RuoHan had, over the years, lost interest in what his fellow leaders had to say. Their cultivation techniques crawled while all his life he had sought to run. Their management of the night hunts called for small, equal pieces for everyone to nibble upon, but it would be irresponsible of him to let his sect go hungry. And negligent of him to have traveled all this way and not stretch his legs.

“Some things never change,” Wen RuoHan said with some dry fondness as they came upon the training grounds. Dozens of young disciples in their dark, Qinghe Nie robes were paired off and in the midst of practice. Sunlight caught off the silver steel, adding flashes of light to an already aggressive display that looked, after several moments, like a dance.

The man overseeing the training stood taller than all the rest. With his robes hanging off the hips and tied at the waist, he struck a bold and handsome figure even with his eyes narrowed as the setting sun smiled on his face.

“I stand corrected,” Wen RuoHan said pleasantly, feeling the breeze off his fan more acutely. “The view has improved.”

Wen Qing frowned. For all her brilliance, weapons training for cultivation had rarely interested her as much as much as the wounds of the trainees. “The noise has not.”

Indeed, the man leading the lesson had a loud voice that would make meek disciples quiver. To Wen RuoHan’s agreement, the group at present were anything but meek as they all roared back wordlessly in affirmation to their trainer's command.

“Mind your balance!” the man shouted. “The next one who falls over will be standing on their hands and we’ll see if their feet can do better with a saber!”

“Now there is a cultivator who minds his training,” Wen RuoHan mused with a laugh. “We may have to borrow this one to ready our own for next year's conference.” Already decisions had been made to host events in Qishan along with the usual discussions. Horse racing, archery, and duels, plus poetry among others.

Wen Qing gave him a strange look. “That is Nie MingJue, Uncle. Sect Leader Nie.”

Wen RuoHan's smile froze, and then slowly fell. “Ah,” he said, shutting his fan with a soft clap, “he certainly looks nothing like his father.”

“And he's coming this way...”

“So he is. What shall we tell him?”

“...That we are going back to our rooms to have dinner. We look forward to the start of the conference in the morning.”

Wen RuoHan looked at her in surprise. “Are we now?”

“Yes.” And she had already turned away to leave.

“It would be rude of me to not greet our host now that he is here,” Wen RuoHan considered aloud as Nie MingJue walked straight through his fighting disciples to reach them on the most direct path.

Wen Qing hesitated.

“What is that expression, A-Qing?” He motioned her away with the closed fan. “If you do not want to speak with him, then go have the tea ready when I return.”

“...Yes, Uncle.”

She walked back down the path, scattering the shadows that had gathered there. He wasn't sure if she knew the way, but no doubt there would be plenty of volunteers to direct her, blessed as she was with her mother's beauty. Although, now that he thought about it, the Qinghe Nie were said to not be enchanted by beautiful things not made of steel.

“Sect Leader Wen.” Nie MingJue stood on the other side of the stone archway as if a barrier separated then. He glanced to where Wen Qing had gone before continuing, “What are you doing here alone?”

Nie MingJue certainly struck a fine figure up close with skin damp and golden from standing in the sun. Freckles scattered across his nose and cheeks and covered his ample shoulders. He still had his saber in hand, and while he had respectfully sheathed it in his approach, his grip was not relaxed. It was difficult to tell if it was heat radiating off of him or his anger.

Wen RuoHan smiled. “Alone? Do I not still have your Nie cultivators for company?” And he looked over to the small cluster of cultivators less than discreetly stalking him, keeping an eye on him from the shadows of the nearby trees and building from the first moment he had stepped foot in the Unclean Realm.

Nie MingJue was frowning when Wen RuoHan looked back to him. “Is there something you needed?”

Wen RuoHan opened his mouth, then closed it again. A tricky question. “To greet my host and wish him well.” Normally gifts were offered to new Sect Leaders, but Nie MingJue's rise was years ago. Wen RuoHan had not been informed of the past Sect Leader Nie's death until months later when the grieving period was through and the Qinghe Nie had resolutely shut their gates to outsiders for a time. Wen RuoHan looked to the fan in his hand and held it out to Nie MingJue. “These discussion conferences are deceptively long. Cool off and calm down, or you'll run yourself into the ground before the end.”

Nie MingJue's eyebrows pinched his brow--but he took the fan. Strong fingers curled over it, tighter and tighter until Wen RuoHan waited for it to get crushed beneath his fist.

Would a broken fan make up for a broken saber? The fan, however, meant little to him than some meager relief from the heat.

So he was surprised when Nie MingJue dropped his hand to his side with the fan still held tight. His expression was peculiar, as if he held a hundred words stuffed in his mouth and on his tongue. When he spoke his voice was taut with control.

“If you are unable to find your rooms, I can find someone to escort you.”

“Do you think I'm lost?”

“I gave instructions that everyone was to retire to their rooms when they arrived. Either you are lost or you are trespassing.”

Trespassing. Now there was an accusation Wen RuoHan had never heard of.

And yet an apology fluttered in and out of his thoughts, but it would be ingenuous at best. Wen Qing had warned him and he did not regret what he had seen or done. He was Sect Leader Wen, after all. He had been raised to apologize for nothing.

But he wasn’t out to make enemies. Discussion conferences lasted twice as long when everyone was trying to pick a fight. “A little bit of both,” he conceded lightly, although Nie MingJue looked none too pleased to hear it. “I will retire for the evening then. After seeing your management of the saber training, I am looking forward to your management of tomorrow’s discussion. Be sure not to lose your voice before then.”

[kitsune1818]

I would love to hear your thoughts behind your Ruojue reverse BB art piece! The accompanying fic startled me by depicting your art as being full of malice and hate, with Nie MingJue described as feeling nauseated, suffocated, brittle while Wen RuoHan is threatening & blackmailing him. Definitely not the tone/mood I got from the rather romantic coloring, soft expressions, and open body language. (Perhaps I saw wrong?) So I'm very curious to know what is at the heart of the art and artist!

Mm. You have no idea how hard i had to think on this. I had to retrace my line of thinking from months ago ad watch intently at the drawing.

For the reverse bb i had to force myself not to think of a story as i worked on the pieces. I didnt want to build expectation. To be honest, i feel very... reluctant to talk about what i was thinking because i dont want to come across as ungrateful for the writer who worked so hard on the fic, she was a sweetheart (all 3 of my partners were very nice people).

Making a ruojue piece felt like a risk, i bet you can imagine why. So thinking of this i wanted to do something that gave maybe a mix of feelings. Im a very insecure person, so when we were asked wants and dont wants in the submission form, so i went the simplest i could go, i know how people view this ship and part of me was afraid of this piece being left ignored or something.

I asked for 4 things. One was enemies to lovers a trope i dont often explore but find very interesting. Second was power play, as both nmj and wrh are very powerful characters and strong leaders. Third was possessiveness and fourth complicated feelings.

I saw this piece as the turning point of a story for nmj, the point when he realizes that he has, in fact, fallen for wrh, not on the tyrant people say he is, but the man he actually is. This would be the end of the power play and the enemy stage and the start of the lovers and complicated feelings.

I was planing on a second piece i didnt have time to make but still lives in my head, that was wrh side of the tale. His own realization that this is no longer a game, that he got caught by feelings, that he doesnt want to let go of nmj. But this is a whole other piece.

On the piece, you can see wrh victory on his face, he has yet to understand that he is just as deep as nmj is, the possessiveness is on the outer robe draped on nmj shoulders, there is acceptance on nmj expreasion and his tears are the result of his realization of his own feelings.

I didnt want wrh to look agressive, but as if wanting to be closer to nmj, he is leaning towards him but not touching. Nmj is not slouched, i didnt want him defeated, his head low in thoughht but expresion not distraught. I wanted a bit of sadness, but not angst.

People often react different to art, i keep my thoughts of my pieces for the rbb to myself and let the writers do as they will, that is the fun for me, to see what the writter thought the piece meant.

I didnt meant to write a disertation on my own piece. Oops. There is no real plot behind it, mostly a bunch of feelings i tried to portray and im still not skilled enough to pull them all of, maybe.

[aki-draws-things]

I wanted a requited ruojue because I slipped back into that ship while planning something else.

There, have it and let's run with it...

"was it worth it?" 

Nie mingjue wasn't sure of what he was supposed to answer, it was a vague question, even for lan xichen. 

"mingjue-xiong, tell me the truth." 

His voice was pleading, almost pained. What truth did he want? Nie mingjue really wasn't sure of what he was expecting him to say, so he remained silent. 

Well, silence didn't seem to be the reaction lan xichen wished for either, but he had to be more specific if he wanted him to say something. 

"the… The marriage." apparently nie MingJue's questioning look had the right effect, though lan xichen stumbled on his words a bit. "what had he said to you to convince? Did he threaten Huaisang? Or you?" 

What? 

Nie mingjue blinked. Was really that hard for everyone to believe he was the one choosing it? No threats involved or anything? It was, apparently, because everyone around him acted like he had been forced into that marriage, everyone acted like he had to be freed, to be saved. 

Everyone but the 5 years old memory of himself who stood right in front of wen ruohan and declared that one day he would have married him, enchanted by his look and by his smile. 

"you'll have to grow a little more for that, Xiao Nie." he said, lowering at his height. 

"Mmmh… But you will wait, right? Until I'm older." 

Every year that followed he asked, with stubbornness, if now he was old enough, and every years wen ruohan laughed and said "a little more." 

No one expect that he would keep asking, long after his youth years, it was a little crush his kid self had in someone he considered pretty. No one expected the crush to grow with him. Especially not while the cultivation world grew wary of wen ruohan, not while they grew scared of him. Not while nie mingjue was supposed to hate him for the death of his father. 

"you can love and hate someone at the same time." he told huaisang once. "I should hate him, for father, for his desire of power, and yet--" he blushed, because hate walked side by side with love. And nie mingjue had never loved someone that much. 

"was it worth it?" lan xichen asked again, dragging him back from his own thoughts. 

Nie mingjue passed a hand over the red flames embroidered on his gray robe. 

"of course it is." 

"do you regret your stubbornness?" 

The throne chamber was dimly lit, the shadow he cast on the pavement long as he walked closer to the throne and the man sitting on it. 

"why everyone keeps asking me that?" he scoffed as he arrived beside him, a hand slightly brushing over wen ruohan left shoulder. "does my husband regrets it?" 

"no!" 

So quick in his answer, turning his head so fast to stare at him, that nie mingjue laughed. 

"why should I then? I'm the one who pestered you for years." 

"war is approaching. - nie mingjue nodded. - they will fight you too. Your brother will--" 

"'A-Sang? Do you really think he will side against us? Against me?" 

"you stand by my side. He will." 

"Qinghe values loyalty, and they still stand loyal to me. Huaisang may be the sect leader but I know where his loyalty lies. He will fight with me." 

Wen ruohan looked warily at him. He, of course, believed him, how could he not? But--

"the other leaders will have a strong influence in him. Your brother is young, inexperienced. Not exactly leader material." 

Nie mingjue grinned and sat on the side of the throne with ease, an arm over the back of it while the other stretched out, calling the shard of yin metal toward them. He grew used to its power and energy, baxia even felt easier to handle. - of course, her spirit belonging to the demon's realm made her more at ease around yin energy than most. - 

"zonghui is. And I would never doubt his loyalty, or his leadership. Beside… Do you actually fear they would be able to defeat us?" 

[aki-draws-things]

Absolutely shameless fluff because the morning started really bad at work and I'm already getting overwhelmed. So have this fluffy ruojue and kids disturbing them.

Nie mingjue laughed. Probably one of the strangest sounds to ring across Nevernight in these days, when a perpetual dark fog seemed to surround the city and the palace. Nie mingjue laughed, as the sun was rising, and wen ruohan blinked awake slowly. Once he liked early mornings, once, when he was much younger, less burdened by a sect to lead, two sons to control, and raise, and a good half of the cultivation world hating him for... For whatever he did. For everything he did. He once didn't care for their opinions on him either. He once... He forgot what it felt like to have someone, have him, around. So close he could stretch an arm out and grab him, grasp his sleeve and hold it. - oh, he used to do it so many time, back then. Hold on his sleeve and following him around. He had been so young, then. -

Now he woke up and the chamber was empty, the bed was empty, like it had been for so long, and there was laughter from outside. Usually he woke up and the first thing he felt was the low whisper of the yin metal, words he couldn't make out, not really, blurring together in his untested mind and driving him mad, to the point he stopped sleeping for days. The yin metal never stopped whispering and twirling, it's red light pulsing before his eyes every time.

Now he woke up to laughter, to a peace he didn't have for many long years. He woke up surrounded by calm and he felt like he could cry.

"wen chao! Stop running around!"

He didn't move, he laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling, listening.

"I'm gonna tell father you ran away during morning meditation! - well, wen ruohan thought, nothing out of the ordinary after all. - naked!" oh, alright, that was out of the ordinary. And still there was something that kept him at ease, unbothered by the yelling and the laughter. When was the last time his sons had truly gotten along? The last time his younger son behaved in a childish manner instead of trying to have his attention.

"Bà will defend me!" the last time he sounded that young?

"Bà was trying to help you meditate, you dumb rock!"

"I'm not dumb! Bà! Tell him I'm not dumb!" when was the last time he called him-- but he wasn't there. And his sons never called him so. Fuqin, at most. Never a-die or bá.

"a-xu, don't call your brother dumb. A-chao, please put something on."

Oh... Oh. Bà.

There was a pause, some silence, then a new voice joining them in a happy cry, and wen chao following it fast enough. And laughters. More laughters.

"master nie-- master, the--- the young Master escaped as I was turned."

It took more minutes, perhaps half an hour before silence fell again in the palace's halls and the door opened. He looked tired. He looked young, as he appeared in these years, younger than wen ruohan, and tired.

"your younger offspring is a menace. - he stated. - he corrupted huaisang. He ran around naked. What did you teach your sons, ruohan?" there was a smile still playing on his lips.

He didn't answer, because now the yin metal was silent around him, like a spell had been laid on it. He wondered how long it would last. He wondered what he could say. So he simply stared at the young looking man in front of him, the one he had loved so dearly in his youth, the one back at his side after many years. The one for who he almost threw the world into chaos because he wanted him back.

"they called you Bà." he managed out in a not even concealed wonder.

"your son was running around in his birth suit and you---"

"Bà! You-- he-- they called you bá." he could cry, he could burst into tears and not be ashamed of it because no one would see him.

"he started on his own, a-chao started it and I couldn't stop him. i tried, believe me. Did you know he could pull off a sad puppy face? Because he can. - nie mingjue walked closer to the bed, and toward the window. - he actually reminds me of a young boy who never left my side, years ago. It was impossible to tell him no, impossible to refuse him something or he would look sad. Do you happen to know him?"

When he turned, because he heard baxia in his mind laugh and he wanted to know at what she was laughing, wen ruohan was still on the bed, kneeling and stretched out with a hand, the hem of MingJue's robe held tight.

"this boy missed his immortal master so much." he whispered, almost whined, he tugged at the robe and nie mingjue laughed again because they couldn't look more different than who they really were, and yet he still saw what he left behind a couple of generations before.

He tugged and tugged until they both were back on the bed.

"uncle nie, can you help us with archery? A-Chao said you would."

Wen Ning slid his head inside the now open door, surely sent ahead by the other boy.