#and yet i forget abt seasonal depression every year | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cheatos · 8 years ago

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seventh night

For myn! aka @ohmykokuroo here on tumblr

Title: Seventh night Pairing(s): iwaoi Warnings: rated g. nothing to warn abt afaik! Summary: Like with most other things, Tooru and Hajime go to the Tanabata festival together every year. A link to your gift: [ao3] Note for the recipient: hey myn! I tried mixing the prompts stargazing, friends to lovers, and soulmate au (ish) together, technically also a bit of forbidden love if you look at the legend, but not really (not at all tbh). hope you’ll like it anyway!

✰✰✰

Like with most other things, Tooru and Hajime go to the Tanabata festival together every year. It's become a tradition of sorts, one that they're yet to break. Even as Tooru sits in front of Hajime in their couch complaining about the higher prices of the Shinkansen-tickets during this season, Hajime knows that Tooru won't even consider asking if they should just skip it this year, just like Hajime won't mention it as a solution. Instead, he untangles himself from Tooru's limbs, still long and slender, yet no longer lanky and awkward as they were in his teenage years, and stands up from the sofa. He then walks to the kitchen to get them some tea while Tooru continues the search for a set of almost-affordable tickets.

The Tanabata festival is celebrated all across Japan on the seventh day of the seventh month as the name refers to, but it happens a month later in Sendai, because for they still follow the lunar calendar. Even though they've grown up with all of the Tanabata-related stories since childhood, Hajime still has no idea why they do it differently from the rest of the country, not that he minds. In fact, Hajime can't help but think that the rest of the country are the ones celebrating on the wrong date; there's a reason why the festival held in Sendai is known as the greatest in the country.

✰

Even Hajime’s earliest childhood memories of the festival have Tooru in them. Every year, the city is filled with colourful paper decorations, streamers and lanterns. Although Hajime has seen them every year, he’s still in awe, unable to do anything but stand and stare for a little while as he gets used to the view.

Now, Hajime is an energetic child, not unlike Tooru and many other boys their age, so the traditional festival wear and yukatas are not a part of the fun, but the many food stalls are definitely something he enjoys. All of the other activities lined up for kids like the theatre plays, both the bigger like kabuki and ones with actors dressed in intricate traditional wear and wearing full faces of makeup that you have to buy tickets for (Hajime’s parents pulled him along for one once and he almost fell asleep, the language was so old fashioned that he barely understood, and his parents quickly learned not to bring him along again, too restless to sit still for that long) and the smaller, free puppet theatres on the street that are more kid friendly, all of them playing the same old tale, the legend that the Tanabata festival is based on.

The festival celebrates the old folktale of Orihime-sama, a gifted weaver and princess, daughter of Tentei, the emperor of heaven, whom she weaved beautiful clothes for. Orihime-sama did nothing but weave clothes all day long and became depressed, scared of never finding love, so her father presented Hikoboshi, the cow herder, for her, and they fell in love and married instantly. The two lovers started neglecting their work to stay together, invoking the wrath of Tentei, who separated the two to separate sides of the river Amanogawa.

Hajime had little interest to offer ancient romantic folklore, but because of Tooru’s current obsession - aliens and thereby the night sky - Tooru had found a special interest in the legend as well. The Amanogawa river was not an actual river, but the Milky Way in the sky, separating the two stars Orihime-sama and Hikoboshi-sama, some of the clearest stars on the summer night sky, part of the summer triangle.

Hajime dipped his somen into the dipping sauce before lifting up his chopsticks, raising them to his mouth and slurping up the noodles. Hajime wasn’t that big of a fan of the somen, finding the noodles too sweet and the sauce boring, but it was a festival tradition, and Tooru was not only a fan of sweets but also everything space-themed, like the star-shaped okra and the noodles that people said resembled the milky way and the threats Orihime-sama weaved. Hajime thought they looked like regular noodles, but refrained from telling Tooru as much, instead letting his friend enjoy the meal.

After eating, Tooru’s parents gift them a strip of tanzaku each for them to write a wish on, one of Hajime’s favourite festival traditions. Hajime decided on his wish a few days ago when Tooru and he had been watching a volleyball match on tv. He excitedly accepts the pen, using his left hand to cover the strip, making sure that Tooru can’t read over his shoulder as he writes down his wish. He tries to bring up the mental image of the kanji that he looked up the same night he decided on his wish, but promptly forgets them the moment he has to write them down. He instead writes it in hiragana at the last second before putting his pen on the paper, his strokes wobbly as he writes down the wish.

I wish to become the strongest ace!

He hangs up his wish on the bamboo branch before turning to Tooru, who’s smiling at him widely, showing off the missing tooth in the left corner of his mouth.

“What did you wish for? My wish was to play volleyball with you forever and ever!” Tooru says proudly, pointing towards Hajime with all of the grandeur a kid their age can muster up (which, for Hajime, is a lot, especially when said kid is Oikawa Tooru, charismatic and determined even at this age).

“Don’t say your wish out loud, stupid!” Hajime says in reply, turning around to hide his blush because he is not proud that Tooru thought of him when writing down his wish and definitely not because he feels bad about not doing the same. Next year, he tells himself before his eyes focuses on another stall that he needs to see. He grabs Tooru’s arm and pulls him along, feeling a bit better when he remembers that this won’t be the last Tanabata that they’ll celebrate together, that he will have plenty of wishes he can use on Tooru in the future.

✰

It’s their last year of middle school when Hajime learns that volleyball isn’t just about playing together or being the ace. There’s new pressure, and that is despite the fact that they’re doing great - Tooru is captain, Hajime is ace, and Kitagawa Daiichi is one of the best middle schools in the prefecture, yet the older they get, the more serious the sport gets - they’re one of the best but not the best team, and the looming shadow of Shiratorizawa Academy is a constant pressure at their back. That, added with the news of one of the first years on the team apparently being a setter prodigy, a fact Tooru isn’t taking lightly.

This year, Hajime brings Tooru with him to his grandparents’ place outside Sendai, in a rural part of Miyagi where it’s practically impossible to go if you don’t have a car and where pretty much the only entertainment you have is what you bring with you. Hajime has brought nothing but a volleyball and his own company and can only hope that this is enough for Tooru.

But of course, Hajime has an extra trick up his sleeve, another reason to bring Tooru with him (apart from his parents’ insistence) and that is the possibility of stargazing.

The night sky is completely clear outside the city, the stars multiplied in thousandfold and you can even see the Milky Way, lighting up the sky amongst the stars in a soft glow.

Hajime points out the stars to Tooru that he had read about only the night before, both random constellations and the ones connected to the folktale tied to the festival, things Hajime knows Tooru to be interested in.

“That’s Hikoboshi and Orihime, also known as Altair and Vega,” Hajime proclaims proudly, pointing out the two stars in the constellation as Tooru stares up, following where he’s pointing. “And that third one is Deneb!” he says, following the invisible line between the three stars forming the summer triangle. He’s pretty sure Tooru already knows this much, but he listens anyway, deeply fascinated.

Hajime turns to look at Tooru, who’s finally smiling again to Hajime’s relief, and he can’t help but notice how the stars in his eyes rival the ones in the night sky. As they sit under the sky, Hajime cannot help but smile broadly himself as well.

Tooru gets bitten by a bug that same night, and even though Hajime has to listen to a lot of complaints from him, Tooru never mentions regretting that he went there. When they return to Sendai for the festival, Tooru makes Hajime promise to take him with next year as well, even being as sneaky as to do it in front of Hajime’s grandparents so he can’t back out. Hajime pouts at this, but in reality he doesn’t mind, excited about the prospect of having Tooru’s company from now on instead of the usual boredom when visiting his grandparents.

At the festival, Hajime is once again given a tanzaku to write on, and this year he knows exactly what to wish for. He knows that Shiratorizawa Academy is interested in Tooru, and even though he’s currently anything but interested in going there, Hajime knows that a lot can happen in a year, and he’s well aware that he doesn’t have a chance of getting in with the state of his grades.

Tooru is sticking his tongue out in concentration as he writes down his own wish, looking up at Hajime with a wide smile. “I’m wishing for us to win the tournament this year,” Tooru says, winking at Hajime.

“Wishing isn’t enough, we have to work hard for it,” Hajime says and he tries to give Tooru a serious expression, but he can’t help but smile.

“Of course! We always do,” Tooru says proudly in reply, determination is his eyes as he hands Hajime the pen, then turning around to hang up his tanzaku.

I want to keep playing volleyball with Tooru, Hajime writes on his own, and he looks up at Tooru with a smile, happy that they are on the same track.

✰

It’s only a year after that Hajime realises they’re not as much on the same track as he thought. Tooru wants to bring his new girlfriend of all people to the festival, and it’s definitely not like Hajime cares about her or any of his other girlfriends. But Tooru insists on going with both her and Hajime, and it’s not like he enjoys being a third wheel (or is interested in the blind date Tooru offered to set him up with).

So Hajime goes to the festival in a foul mood, refusing to wear the yukata his mom laid out for him, having no appetite for the street food he’s been looking forward to for so many weeks, and he knows his problem doesn’t lie with this specific girl. He barely knows her, and he’s pretty sure Tooru doesn’t either, but he has just started learning about his own feelings for his best friend. Even though he’s not exactly sure they’re romantic, he doesn’t enjoy seeing Tooru walk around hand in hand with this girl who can barely keep a conversation going with neither Tooru nor Hajime about anything outside of schoolwork, something that isn’t exactly Hajime’s favourite subject.

High school was supposed to be better. It is, in many ways. Tooru invests just as much time and energy as usual in volleyball, but he has taken Hajime’s word from after the incident with Kageyama Tobio to heart, and he’s gotten better. This probably also has to do with the fact that they’re now in high school and all of their worries from middle school seem miles away. This is a good thing, Hajime tells himself, because now they can invest more energy into bettering their new team at Seijou. And also into winning against Shiratorizawa’s high school team, which not only still as Ushiwaka amongst them but also their second and third years full of powerful players, whereas Aoba Jousai’s team was, well, less impressive before Tooru and Hajime’s arrival. Not just theirs, but also two other kids with huge potential that Hajime has taken a liking to already, even though Tooru is still wary.

Problem is, when they entered Aoba Jousai, Tooru has gotten extremely popular with the girls. At first, he didn’t let it get to him, but the added attention and strengthening of his ego changed him. Suddenly Tooru is interested in girls and dating, and honestly all Hajime wants to do is practice quicks and attacks and enjoy the festival like they do every year, but now Tooru’s girlfriend is trying to take up all of his attention and Hajime is irritable and unwilling.

Tooru, of course, notices this on the first night, the one with the fireworks over the Nishi-koen park, signaling the start of the festival. Only the day before he had told Hajime his plans about bringing the girl with them to see the fireworks, because apparently they’re romantic and the perfect date spot. Hajime disagrees, because they’ve watched the fireworks together every year and he has never found anything romantic about it, especially not the way Tooru used to cling to him in fear at the loud sounds of it in the first minute of the fireworks. And particularly not because of the fact that Tooru demands Hajime’s presence there as well, even after Hajime turned down the mysterious blind date he offered.

Tooru turns up in his own yukata, hair styled, living up to his rumour as the handsome prince of the school, and Hajime has to look away angrily as he flashes an excited smile at him, quietly noting to himself that Tooru never dressed up for the festival when it was just the two of them. Tooru doesn’t comment on Hajime’s regular outfit or unwashed hair, simply raising an eyebrow before fishing out his phone, texting his girl about a meeting point. The night only becomes worse after that, to the point where Hajime can feel Tooru’s stare at his back as he finishes his own plate of takoyaki, because Tooru is too busy sharing dango with the girl, only snatching one of the small balls from Hajime as the girl finishes the last sweet dumpling from their shared stick.

Hajime expects a message in the morning, for Tooru to take pity on him and tell him that he doesn’t have to show up, but instead when Hajime shows up slightly late - because for once, Tooru is the one who doesn’t reply to Hajime’s message about staying home - Tooru is the only one there, waiting for him.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” Hajime asks warily, because Tooru may not be wearing his yukata today - of course he doesn’t wear it at the actual festival, he’s a dumbass like that - but he’s still well dressed for a date, his hair styled like Hajime knows Tooru likes it the best.

“She couldn’t come today,” Tooru says with a wide smile, very unlike someone who got stood up for a date, and Hajime can tell he’s not telling the whole truth. Hajime doesn’t press on, because he has to force his face to keep calm, to keep from smiling, as Tooru reaches over and grabs his arm, pulling him over to the main street to see the decorations.

The rest of the festival goes like usual, and Tooru acts like he’s not constantly getting (and ignoring) messages on his phone, and Hajime acts like he doesn’t notice it, both of them well aware by now that Hajime knows Tooru’s girlfriend was not the one who cancelled their festival plans.

On the last day, they go to a small store-turned outdoor stall that sells tanzaku and buy a strip of paper each. They walk back to the riverside with a thin paper plate of okonomiyaki for share and a pen to write down their wishes and hang on the bamboo branches decorating the riverbank.

“It’s you and me, Iwa-chan,” Tooru says as they’ve found a place to sit down, the lanterns and the streetlamps lighting up the city that is unusually lively compared to how dark it has become. Hajime knows that this is Tooru’s way of saying he has nothing to fear, nothing to worry about, even though Hajime is pretty sure Tooru doesn’t know the whole story of why Hajime was upset at the start of the festival. Tooru is trying to comfort him, and just this once, Hajime lets him. “You and me against the world.”

“And Shiratorizawa,” Hajime adds decidedly, because the loss of that match in middle school still stings, even though they’re getting well over it now, working on their new team at their new high school. Right now, Shiratorizawa is their most prominent opponent - Hajime remembers his own words and so does Tooru - if you can’t see the opponent right in front of you, you can’t defeat the one that lies beyond. As they both sit by the riverbank, vibrating with excitement, ready to defeat Shiratorizawa, the entire prefecture, all of the teams in Japan, the world truly lies beyond them and Hajime knows he can take it on with Tooru by his side.

Tooru smiles at him with a determined nod, and Hajime feels a heavy weight lift from his chest as he realises their goals aren’t as different as he had feared after all. Tooru hands him the pen after writing down his wish, and Hajime smirks before writing down his wish, well aware of what to ask for this year.

I want to win against Shiratorizawa and go to nationals with Tooru!

✰

In their last year of high school, Tooru seems to be just as aware as Hajime is of the fact that this could be their last festival together - maybe not the last one for Tooru and Hajime, but the last one for Tooru and Hajime, newly appointed captain and vice captain of Aoba Jousai, setter and ace on the same team. The school year has just begun, but with all of the tests and questionnaires the teacher keeps giving them about future plans and university choices, none of them can help but wonder what lies beyond, what comes after graduation.

This is not something they talk about, though, instead focusing on enjoying the time they have left with the team, their last chance at nationals, since Shiratorizawa has held them back up until now, even though they’ve worked their asses off. But this year feels different, this year they’re playing with the team that Tooru and Hajime have built up from the ground, made valuable friendships with teammates and even gotten some new potential in the line of first years that arrived in their volleyball club. Tooru seems more determined than ever this year, the newly arrived Kitagawa Daiichi teammates a constant reminder of a certain other kouhai of his having entered the high school league.

They’re at the festival with Matsukawa and Hanamaki this year, two of their teammates that have turned out to be a lot more than just teammates, having become close friends with both Hajime and Tooru over the two years they’ve known each other. Tooru is slightly more tense than usual, having had to stand down from their practice from overworking his knee, but when Hajime reprimanded him after finding him practicing alone one late night, he had seemed to listen to Hajime’s words, following his advice and finally also following the coach’s order to stay put.

Tooru has become smarter over the years, learned that sometimes his flaws aren’t actually flaws, and how sometimes strengths aren’t inherently good - that there’s a fine line between giving it your all and overworking yourself. He is improving at a rapid speed, even if he hasn’t acknowledged this yet himself.

Hajime brings Tooru with him to his grandparents’ place again at Tooru’s own insistence, and this year they spend it watching volleyball matches, planning new tactics for the team to try out, their minds full of volleyball and the tournament coming up until Hajime’s grandparents ask them about university over dinner.

There’s an awkward silence at first, where Hajime stares down at his food as if, if he just looks at it long enough, he’ll find the answer written in the rice. He can feel Tooru’s eyes on him, but after some time, Tooru laughs, always the one to end the silences when Hajime is unsure of what to say, always the one to pick up where Hajime can’t.

“We’ll be going together, of course, so we can keep playing volleyball!” he says, and he sounds so sure that Hajime can’t help but turn to look at him in awe. Tooru’s still smiling calmly at Hajime’s grandparents, his tone and presence so natural that Hajime would think they had discussed and decided this in unity already if he didn’t know better.

Hajime’s grandparents look at each other for a second before turning back, his grandmother frowning slightly.

“I know you love volleyball, but what about your future jobs?” she asks, and Hajime groans, because that’s pretty much his natural reaction to any questions about the future. Suddenly Tooru’s reply about just knowing that they’d continue playing volleyball isn’t that weird to Hajime.

“Well, you have plenty of time to find out!” his grandfather says with a laugh, feeling Hajime’s reluctance, and his grandmother catches up quickly and nods with a smile.

“Of course,” she says, reaching out for the remote, turning on the tv next to their lowered table, looking for the right channel - out here there aren’t many, so it doesn’t take her that long. It’s the same thing as every year, a small animated show about the Tanabata myth, already begun and playing from somewhere in the middle of the story.

The lovers, Orihime-sama and Hikoboshi-sama, are happy and together, cradling each other passionately as Hikoboshi’s cows are roaming in the background unattended. The scene cuts, changes to one where Tentei, Orihime-sama’s father and the emperor of the heavens, is raging, his daughter having neglected her duties as well, no longer weaving beautiful clothes for him. His speech is slightly awkward, old fashioned but half-translated into something more understandable, but the message comes across anyway. The two lovers are pulling each other down, better apart than together. When Hajime looks up at Tooru, he’s once again reminded of the fact that his friend was invited to Shiratorizawa, that he could’ve been to the greatest school in the prefecture.

Hajime isn’t arrogant enough to say that he was the main reason why Tooru picked Seijou, but he’s aware that he played a part in the decision and he’s even more aware of what that means if they can’t win against the other team, even in high school. This isn’t the first time Hajime has felt like this, like he’s somehow holding Tooru back, pulling him down. He is once again reminded of the progress Tooru’s been making recently, of how far he’s come. Hajime tells himself he has also made progress, because he is the ace of one of the greatest schools in the prefecture, not because of Tooru but because he has been working just as hard, because Hajime has earned it.

Yet he can’t help but imagine the prospect of the two of them apart, the two of them being better because of it. And if they can’t even win against Shiratorizawa this year, that would basically prove this thought right - that being together isn’t making Hajime nor Tooru any stronger.

When he looks up, Tentei has already parted the lovers, Hikoboshi back to herding his cows and Orihime weaving by the river. Both of them are better off alone.

“Hey, Tooru?” Hajime asks, and only realises too late that he used his given name instead of their usual nicknames or just Tooru’s last name. Tooru looks up instantly, slightly wary, but anticipation in his eyes, as if he’s been expecting Hajime to tell him something. “About university,” Hajime mumbles, and the anticipation in Tooru’s eyes instantly dulls in disappointment as he looks down again, less interested. Hajime wants to ask, what did you expect me to tell you?, but he’s too focused on the matter at hand. “Maybe we shouldn’t try and look for the same university,” he says. Tooru’s head whips up again at this, looking at Hajime in shock.

“You don’t wanna go with me?” he asks, his voice thinner than usual, and Hajime shakes his head instantly, physically trying to wave away that idea as if it’s silly, because it is.

“Of course! I just, maybe we should, you know, pick what we want, not just because the other wants it or because it’s the only place that wants us both,” Hajime says, laughing nervously, because he’s well aware that Tooru’s list of acceptance letters will be longer than his own. Hajime knows he’s good enough to get some scholarships for volleyball, but academically he’s still unsure and all he knows right now is that he wants to continue playing volleyball. He doesn’t even know why he brought this up when he’s still so unsure about his future. When he looks up, Tooru has a look on his face.

“You’re still going for Tokyo, though, right?” Tooru asks, and Hajime nods just once, because that is one of the things he’s sure of.

“We can still live together then! And when we become pros, we’ll end up on the same team anyway - the best one,” Tooru says, smiling widely. Hajime laughs at this, at the absurdity of it all, because he makes it sound so simple, and he guesses Tooru really is right. This is pretty much the opposite of what he meant, almost counterproductive to the purpose of being apart so they can become better. Yet he can’t say no - and a voice inside him says there’s still hope, that they can still win against Shiratorizawa and go to nationals, prove that they’re not keeping each other down, and that they’re just as strong together, if not stronger.

When they return to the festival, meeting up with Matsukawa and Hanamaki again for the last day, Hajime lets the others talk him into buying tanzaku this year as well, because he really needs his wish to come true. This is their last year, their last chance.

I want to go to nationals, he writes, lifting the pen up between his lips and nibbling at it with a frown, deep in thought. Then he puts the pen back to the paper, scribbling the last few kanji down in second thought. And I want to keep playing volleyball with Tooru.

When all four boys hang up their wishes on one of the branches by the river, Hajime can feel the tension in the air, the determination. He’s pretty sure all of them wrote down some variation of the same wish. Tooru puts his hand on Hajime’s shoulder with a smirk, raising an eyebrow in question.

“Let’s take down Ushiwaka-chan and go to nationals,” he says, his eyes fixed on Hajime but loud enough that they know he’s speaking to the whole group. Matsukawa puts an arm around Hajime’s shoulder and then Hanamaki pulls them all into a hug, everyone well aware that this will be their last Tanabata while still together in high school, and all of them are ready to take on the world.

✰

Their first year in university comes along, and their loss against not just Shiratorizawa, but Karasuno has made Hajime’s choice final - they shouldn’t go to the same university. Tooru takes this surprisingly well, instead focusing his energies on finding a place for them to live in Tokyo that is close to both of their universities. Finding somewhere that is both livable and affordable in Tokyo turns out to be harder than they had initially expected, until Tooru somehow finds a two room apartment nowhere near the center of Tokyo, but in a nice area with alright public transportation.

They fall into a rhythm quickly after moving there, joking about tricking each other’s teams’ secrets out of each other, making food together, helping each other with homework, and spending their nights watching marathons of movies they’ve already seen many other times together.

“I heard the festival in Hiratsuka is so great it rivals Sendai’s,” Tooru says one day, his nose buried in his phone, and Hajime can only assume he’s reading some article about it since he mentions this out of a sudden.

“We should go then,” Hajime simply says, because it’s not like they’ve had much time exploring Tokyo while living here, because he knows they celebrate it in July instead of August so it won’t have to clash with the one they’re returning to during their summer break at home.

“Really?” Tooru asks, and Hajime nods, ignoring how his heart skips a beat at the bright, excited smile Tooru flashes him in reply.

The festival in Hiratsuka is just as big as the one in Sendai, Hajime finds out, and he’s not that happy about it - some smaller details that are probably the same all around the country give it a nostalgic vibe, reminding him of home and their childhood, but the place itself is foreign and huge. Tooru is basically holding onto his shirt sleeve so hard Hajime is pretty sure it’s going to stretch. He’d complain, but he’s well aware that if Tooru doesn’t hold onto him, they’d lose sight of each other in seconds, so he lets him, ignoring the hastened beat of his heart. He shouldn’t react like this to being so close to his best friend when they’ve been like this forever, when they’re living together, when they’re just that - best friends and nothing more. It’s only after an hour of walking around aimlessly at the festival that Hajime realises they probably should’ve asked some of their new university friends to join them. When he voices this to Tooru, his friend grows quiet before his eyes widen in wonder and he pulls Hajime over to a stall selling candied apples, ending that topic of discussion effectively.

They go home from the festival early, because the one in Hiratsuka does not rival Sendai’s in any way according to neither Tooru nor Hajime, but they stop by a FamilyMart on their way home, buying snacks and dinner before situating themselves in front of the tv, spending their night watching movies and ignoring all of the programs mentioning the countrywide celebrations of Tanabata. Instead they decide to ignore their existence, looking forward to their own hometown celebration in Sendai a month later.

Returning to the Sendai festival, Hajime and Tooru run into Ushijima Wakatoshi of all people. Tooru tenses instantly at the sight of their old rival, but Ushijima simply flashes them a small, friendly smile, as if they were old friends, before his eyes fix on Hajime.

“It was a great game,” he says, and Hajime nods slowly, trying to smile back as courtly as possible, still unable to let completely go of the high school rivalry.

“Thanks, and same to you,” Hajime says, reminiscing the battle between their two university teams only a few weeks earlier. Hajime’s team had lost, but not with a huge margin, and Ushijima’s team had treated them as worthy opponents despite not being as high up in the university league - something Hajime plans on changing. After a small victory in the second set, Hajime’s team had left the court excited, thirsty for more, even after losing the third. The playstyle of Ushiwaka’s new team fit him, Hajime has to admit as well.

Next to Hajime, Tooru snorts in annoyance, catching the attention of both Hajime and Ushijima.

“You’d like our setter,” Ushijima begins, turning to Tooru, and before Hajime can open his mouth to stop whatever Tooru is about to say, Tooru turns away dramatically, shaking his head.

“I don’t care about your team or that country bumpkin, all I care about is destr—” Tooru begins, and all Hajime can think of doing is reaching over and cover his mouth with one hand to stop him, turning to Ushijima with an apologetic smile. Ushijima looks calm as ever, not offended, but slightly confused at Tooru reaction to his attempt at being friendly.

“Sorry, we have to go,” Hajime says quickly as he pulls Tooru away, releasing his hold from Tooru’s mouth. Tooru’s cheeks are tinted slightly red, and he looks more shocked than offended that Hajime has pulled him away from Ushijima so suddenly.

“Enjoy the festival,” Ushijima calls after them with a wave, and Hajime turns to Tooru angrily, the contrast between Ushijima’s friendliness and Tooru’s, well, Tooru, annoying Hajime further.

“What’s wrong with you? Your team wasn’t the one that lost to him this time,” Hajime says, and Tooru grimaces, shaking his head.

“I know, I know,” he mumbles in reply, leaning up against Hajime’s shoulder, resting his chin on it casually. “I just wanted us to win against him,” he adds, sighing resignedly.

“Oh,” Hajime mumbles, reaching out to put a hand on Tooru’s arm, resting it there softly, unsure of what else to do or say to him.

“I miss playing with you,” Tooru mumbles, so quietly that Hajime can only hear it because they’re still so close to each other.

“Same,” Hajime says with a small nod, smiling slightly. He takes a deep breath, and is instantly overwhelmed by the amazing smell of the food stalls when inhaling the air through his nose. “Let’s go get some takoyaki?” Hajime asks, well aware that it’s a badly covered attempt at changing the subject, but Tooru straightens up again with a nod, smiling at him.

“You’re paying,” he says with a smile, skipping out in front of Hajime towards the stall with a huge sign with an octopus on it, the smell of fresh takoyaki coming from it. Hajime simply sighs resignedly in reply, but he’s unable to keep from smiling as he follows Tooru, reaching for the wallet in his pocket.

Later that day, they meet up with Hajime’s grandparents as usual, and his grandparents must think they’re still kids, because they hand over a pair of tanzaku and a pen, smiling excitedly to Tooru and Hajime.

“Make a wish!” they say, and Hajime wants to tell them that they’re no longer kids, but Tooru reaches out for the paper before he can do anything, smiling broadly as he writes down his wish in haste. Hajime sits down next to him with a sigh, accepting the pen when Tooru offers it, before he writes down his own wish.

I want to stay friends with Tooru, even if we don’t play volleyball together anymore.

He bites his lip, wondering when his wishes had turned from actually wanting to do something to a plea for more time with his friend. He hopes this isn’t what adulthood is going to be like, but when he looks at Tooru, who’s already standing up, tying his wish to the nearest bamboo branch, he can’t help but smile. Of course they’ll always be together.

✰

When they return to Sendai the next year, they spend the night before the festival at Hajime’s grandparents’ house and Tooru is brimming with excitement. The sky is completely clear and Tooru has been looking forward to some proper stargazing for ages. Hajime knows he’s been missing the clear skies of rural Miyagi more than usual, because inner Tokyo is even worse than Sendai on that part, the stars barely visible with the neon lights constantly turned on in the city that never seems to sleep. So Hajime indulges him, because he’s been missing this, their childhood, how things used to be, and he’d lie if he said he wasn’t excited for a night just relaxing under the stars with Tooru just like back in the days.

“When we’re too old to play volleyball, I want to move out here,” Tooru says suddenly, giving Hajime a small smile as he waves back towards the house Hajime’s grandparents are in, already sound asleep.

“You, living in the middle of nowhere? You’d get bored instantly,” Hajime says, chuckling at the image of old man-Tooru retreating to rural Miyagi, living in the countryside with no people to bash in his glory.

“No, not as long as I have you around,” Tooru simply replies, chuckling like Hajime should have counted that into his mental image of Tooru moving there as an old man, as if wherever Tooru went, Hajime would be nearby. The thought wasn’t completely wrong, but they weren’t going to be young forever.

“Who says I’d want to live in Sendai for the rest of my life?” Hajime says in confusion, snorting at Tooru’s simplemindedness. Tooru would probably expect him to visit every so often, even if Tooru moved to somewhere crazy like Hokkaido or Osaka. Hajime ignores the voice inside him saying that he’d come visit him even if he moved outside Japan.

“Well, we’d be living here together, silly,” Tooru says, as if that was obvious, and Hajime tries not to look at him too questioningly as he opens his mouth to ask him about family, wives. But he decides not to say anything instead. Sometimes Tooru just says weird things like this, things Hajime isn’t sure how to understand or reply to, and Hajime knows Tooru will notice if he looks at him too weirdly and knows even better that Tooru hates being looked at as if he’s said something too strange. As carefree as Tooru acts, he is still pretty self conscious, Hajime knows.

“You know, I really can’t imagine you doing garden work, though,” Hajime says after some time, because he’s not sure if Tooru finds the silence as awkward as he does, and he doesn’t want Tooru to feel bad.

“Iwa-chan will do the gardening, I’ll learn how to cook,” Tooru says instead, eyes still fixed on the sky, smiling happily, naturally, as if he hasn’t even realised the implications of what he’s saying, the strangeness of it all.

“Yeah, I’d trust you more with the garden than with my food,” Hajime jokes, as if Tooru’s horrible cooking is the most shocking thing in their conversation, not the fact that Tooru apparently has a very clear idea of the two of them growing old together. Or the fact that Hajime isn’t even weirded out by it, just shocked and kind of feeling fuzzy and warm inside, even though the night air is slightly colder than he’s dressed for despite it being mid-August.

“I’ll have time to learn,” Tooru says after some time, pouting slightly, and Hajime realises he’s probably been more focused on Hajime discrediting his cooking skills than what Hajime has been thinking about. “Well, let’s keep coming here every year until we find out then, it’s not like we’ll be done with volley anytime soon anyway,” Tooru says, smiling at Hajime.

When they return to Sendai city for the festival the next day, Tooru is still a ball of energy, this time excited for meeting up with his family after they’ve just met Hajime’s.

"Onee-chan!" Tooru yells as they finally spot his sister in the crowd, disappearing from Hajime's side as he walks over hastily, going straight for his nephew despite having called out to his sister. Hajime walks over, gives Takeru a single wave as Tooru jumps down in front of him, instantly showering the kid in attention. Hajime greets Tooru's sister properly like the responsible person of the two, ignoring Tooru's squawk after Takeru said something to him, probably attacking his ego or something. Tooru had told Hajime about their meeting with Kageyama, showing him the horrible picture, and he had also explained how 'Tobio-chan ruined my poor nephew's view of me, he's trying to ruin my life, Iwa-chan—'. They're standing by a stall selling candied apples, and Hajime joins Tooru's sister in line for it as Tooru talks up his nephew cheerfully.

"How's university?" Oikawa Tomoyo asks Hajime, giving him a smile so bright that he's suddenly reminded of the time that he had told Tooru he wanted to marry her, angering him to the point where Tooru didn't talk to him for two whole days until Hajime promised he wouldn't. Tooru had teased him for it in front of her a few years after, saying that Hajime was into older women, but when Tomoyo had turned to Tooru and said 'yeah, I remember how jealous you got, saying I was stealing him from you or something', he had gotten completely quiet, turning into a blushing mess instead. Hajime really did like Tooru's sister, and, yeah, so what if the main reason for that was because she could embarrass Tooru so easily. Tooru had grown up to look a lot like her too, and Hajime would be lying if he said he wasn’t aware that they were an attractive family (he’d be talking to deaf ears too, because whenever Hajime mentioned their resemblance, Tooru was very quick to remind him what Hajime used to say about Tooru’s sister).

"Great, but it's weird, being on different teams and all," Hajime says.

Despite Takeru’s refreshing lack of idolization of Tooru (sometimes Tooru even complained that he liked Hajime of all people more), he was extremely good with his young nephew and he cared about him a lot. That was evident in the fact that he somehow still found time to meet up with him whenever he was visiting his family and that he used to pick Takeru up from volleyball practices back in high school.

“He’s surprisingly good with kids,” Hajime comments as he realises neither he nor Tomoyo had been saying anything, simply looking fondly at the two playing around, Tooru whining about something Takeru looks oddly proud of.

“That’s because he’s still such a child himself,” Tomoyo replies and Hajime laughs with her, both because she’s right and because she’s one of the few people Hajime doesn’t mind making fun of Tooru with, where his urge to defend him doesn't kick in instantly. Hajime turns to look back at Oikawa, who's currently holding his nephew in a loose chokehold, rubbing the top of his head with his other hand as Takeru laughs out loud.

Hajime can't help but imagine Tooru with a child of his own - a family of his own. Something the two of them could never have if Tooru was really serious about spending his whole life living with Hajime. Something Hajime couldn't bear taking away from him. "He'd be a great dad," Hajime mumbles, only realising the words after he said them, and looks up at Tomoyo instantly. She's looking right back at him, her head tilted slightly to the side as she smiles at Hajime sympathetically.

"You know the story of the Tanabata-festival?" she asks him, and Hajime frowns, unsure of what that has to do with what he just says. But realises that maybe he's giving him an easy way out, a change of topic to something less dangerous, because Tooru's sister has always known her brother and Hajime a bit too well for Hajime to be comfortable with it. He nods at her, because obviously, he does. Everyone does. "Orihime-sama was wanted by many suitors, but because she worked so hard constantly, she had never fallen in love and was scared that it would never happen, until she met Hikoboshi."

Hajime realises she's not trying to change the subject, but teach him a lesson by using some stupid old myth. Well, not just any myth, but the one he's heard a few too many times already. "They weren't meant for each other, though," he says, frowning as he returns his attention to Tooru and Takeru who are still talking passionately, now about Takeru's volleyball adventures in middle school.

"Of course they were, they were soulmates," Tomoyo says, smiling warmly when Hajime looks back at her, so earnest and unlike her brother's usual facade, even if she looks so much like him. Yet, Hajime can’t help but think that Tooru does in fact have the same self-assuredness as his sister in certain areas, the same determination and confidence, even if his more fragile ego usually took up more space.

"That's stupid," Hajime says anyway, shrugging in indifference, looking back to Tooru and Takeru who were walking over to them to get their candied apples.

"That's love," she says.

"It's a myth, though," Hajime says, as Tooru reaches for the candied apple Hajime holds, and he gives it to him, making sure not to let their fingers touch. Nowadays Hajime has to do so and he hates it, because with a best friend as casually touchy as Tooru, it's hard. Tooru seems unfocused, not really listening to Hajime and Tomoyo's conversation as he asks Takeru a question about the setter on his current volley team. So Hajime turns to look at Tomoyo again. "And for all of his flaws, he's not as useless as Hikoboshi-sama," he says, eyes fixed on Tooru to make sure he's not trying to listen in on their conversation.

"Well, then you have nothing to worry about," Tomoyo says with a chuckle, patting Hajime's shoulder in what's supposed to be comfort. If Tooru had done so, he'd have shaken the hand off, but he can't be that rude to Tooru's sister.

"I'm not worried," he lies, knowing that he's pouting and he hears Tomoyo chuckle in reply, but he's focused on Tooru, who suddenly looks up at them.

"Worried? Iwa-chan, what are you worried about? You're not overthinking again, are you? You know you shouldn't think about too many things at once, it'll just give you a headach—OUCH," Tooru yelps as Hajime reaches out and smacks his upper arm, grumbling under his breath because he can't curse him out in public. "Iwa-chan, only simple-minded people resort to violence!" Tooru continues, because he really does have a death wish and Hajime rolls up his sleeves, taking a step towards his friend. Tooru quickly jumps over, hiding behind his significantly shorter nephew.

“The only thing I worry about is having to deal with you all of the time,” Hajime lies easily, even though it’s pretty much the opposite of the truth, and Tooru seems to accept this answer, sticking out his tongue before Takeru breaks in with a question about volleyball. She asks Hajime about his position on his university team and successfully pulls Tooru’s attention away from the conversation he missed.

This year, Tooru’s nephew talks them into writing their own wishes on some tanzaku that Tooru’s parents buy for them all, and Hajime reluctantly agrees, figuring that it wouldn’t do any harm, unable to say no to Tooru’s nephew as usual.

I hope things won’t change between us, he writes down, quickly walking over and hanging up his wish on a branch that is already overcrowded with wishes, making sure that Tooru won’t be able to sneak a peek over his shoulder and read it. Tooru is sitting down with Takeru still, writing down his wish intently with his tongue sticking out of his mouth, and now more than ever, Hajime hopes that things won’t change between them, that time could just stop for a while.

✰

In their last year of university, Hajime returns to the festival without Tooru.

The whole atmosphere is different, and Hajime tells himself that of course it’s not just because there’s one person missing from the tradition, because it seems like the whole festival place seems a bit duller, a bit less lively than usual.

The weather isn’t as good this year - in fact, some people would probably say it’s better, because cloudy weather means milder temperatures, but the humidity is still high and the sky is a darker grey, forecasting rainfall later on. And most of the food stalls already have their curtains pulled out, just like some people have umbrellas with them, ready to whip them out to save their yukatas and pretty festival-wear from the will of the gods.

Hajime is here with his family, and he’s already heard enough “Where’s Tooru?”’s to last a lifetime, enough to make the gaping hole, just big enough to fit the one person missing from the scene, painfully obvious to him. Hajime refuses to let it ruin his festival, instead spending more time with his grandparents during the celebration as well, not just at home. He ignores the voice inside him that sounds awfully much like Tooru teasing him about being such a mama’s boy, not even a mama’s boy but a grandma's boy. She pays for some takoyaki at a stall that is there every year and Hajime says yes thank you to the spring onions that the guy in the stall offers, because now that he doesn’t have share them with Tooru, he can have those on as well. He tells himself this is a good thing, because you’re not supposed to be so attached to someone that you can’t even enjoy a festival without him.

Hajime’s grandmother looks up to the sky as they return to the rest of the family, probably already planning on going home soon, because old people go home earlier and Hajime hadn’t thought of asking some old friends to meet up so he could stay. Hajime’s grandmother hums thoughtfully.

“You know the legend says that if Tanabata falls on a cloudy night, it means the river is too high, so Orihime-sama and Hikoboshi-sama won’t be reunited and has to wait another whole year,” she says as they finally return to Hajime’s granddad, who goes straight for the takoyaki that Hajime’s grandmother bought for them to share.

“It’s if it rains,” Hajime’s grandfather corrects her, having heard the last part of their story, and he swallows the food before continuing. “It’s because the magpies can’t come and help Orihime-sama over the river during rain,” he explains, opening his mouth as Hajime’s grandmother feeds him another takoyaki. Hajime chuckles, instead focusing on his own food, trying to ignore the comparison he’s already made in his head to how he and Tooru always used to share their takoyaki.

So what if Tooru isn’t here this year? So what if Tooru is mad at him for trying to pull away, put some distance between them? Why can’t Tooru understand that Hajime is doing it for him, that he probably misses being with Tooru even more than his friend does? That Hajime doesn’t just miss it, but wants more?

Hajime has his suspicions, actually. About Tooru feeling the same way. Tooru joining him on his bed even long after the weather has gone warmer and freezing is no longer a plausible excuse. Tooru always wanting to share his food and be a little too close for what is accepted between two people who are just friends, even if they’re childhood best friends. Hajime has spent a lot of years ignoring it - indulging in it, more precisely, because he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it. But after taking his final decision, after Tooru has started looking into professional clubs for them to join full time together after university, Hajime has tried pulling back. Tooru, of course, ignored all these signs like he does everything that doesn’t stand in his favor, up until the moment Hajime had to sit him down and say he still wasn’t going to play in the same club as Tooru after graduation.

And now Hajime is here, back in Sendai, unsure if Tooru has even decided to go home this year, unsure if they’re still going to be sharing their apartment for that much longer, now that Tooru is too mad to speak to him.

Really, he knows that would probably be overdoing it. Tooru’s problem isn’t that he doesn’t want to keep being with Hajime, but that he wants more. In what ways, Hajime is still unsure. But he knows they can probably solve the problem, go back to being good friends again, if they just sit down and talk it through. At least that what he believes but when he finds himself writing down his wish for this year, because his grandparents still think of him as a kid, he’s unsure enough to use his wish this year on exactly this problem.

Hajime wonders if Hikoboshi-sama ever hated loving Orihime-sama, if he had ever wished for a soulmate or a lover less talented, with a less important job than hers. Someone he could be with all of the time and not worry about neglecting his job with.

Yet, when he imagines Tooru being any other way than just the way he was, it just feels wrong. The idea of Tooru not playing volleyball anymore or being someone else is less realistic to Hajime than not being together. Suddenly he understands why Hikoboshi-sama preferred spending only one night of the year with his lover rather than all year with someone whom he didn’t love. They may have been star-crossed lovers, but their love was still written in the stars. They had accepted their fate as long as they could still be together at least once a year, and Hajime thinks he finally understands that.

This year, Hajme just wants things to be solved with Tooru again.

I want to at least be able to celebrate Tanabata with Tooru every year, he writes down, folding the tanzaku before standing up and tying it into a bamboo branch that is already almost full of papers. He bites his lip in doubt. That’s not too much to ask for, right? Even Hikoboshi-sama and Orihime-sama gets that. He turns to his grandparents, offering them a small smile as his hand slowly reaches down his pocket, already going for his phone. He has to reach out to Tooru as well, meet him halfway. Typing in Tooru’s number with ease, the movement of his finger having become muscle memory over the year, Hajime just hopes that Tooru will pick up.

✰

To Hajime’s relief, things do go back to normal - not much changes, except they’re no longer studying, but now schoolwork is switched out with training, because being a professional athlete is definitely a step up from the university league.

Hajime has been playing on a team for a while now, a good one, but nowhere near one of the best, up until the time he’s invited to join one of the best in the country and, incidentally, the one Tooru is on as well. Hajime is reluctant, because once again this is counterproductive to his initial plan, but even he can see the sense in it after Tooru yells at him when he admits that he didn’t accept the invitation right away. Reluctantly, Hajime accepts just before they return back to Sendai in time for the festival, and Hajime is painfully aware of the tense atmosphere even though he has already accepted the invitation.

He figures Tooru will tell him the problem by himself, but after spending the whole train ride home in silence, Hajime finally breaks.

“What’s up with you?” he asks as they arrive at the festival, hungry from the trip and instantly seduced by the familiar smell of the food stalls, the old takoyaki one in their sight.

“Why were you so adamant about not working with me?” Tooru asks as they get into line, only one person in front of them, and Hajime turns to him in shock as he pulls out his money, realising that his actions had probably made it seem like he didn’t want to be with Tooru all this time.

“Because—it’s not you, it’s just… I don’t want us to hold each other back,” Hajime explains before it’s their turn, and they order a box for sharing as he pays, hoping that Tooru will drop the conversation, leave it at that and accept it.

“Do you think I’m holding you back?” Tooru asks in a small voice when they’ve gotten the box and their sticks, retreating from the stall with food in hand to find a place where they can eat it. “No! It’s just—you know, like the Tanabata legend, they couldn’t be together because they kept holding each other down,” Hajime explains when they sit down on a bench that, by some miracle, is still vacant.

“You… you do want to be together?” Tooru asks, so carefully that Hajime finally has to look up, and he looks so unsure, but so hopeful at the same time. Hajime has been unfair to him - pushing him away, kept him at a distance, even though Tooru had been offering himself to him, in small bits, so many times, for so many years. And it comes so naturally now, that he doesn’t even have to think before he continues, ignoring Tooru’s question completely.

“They couldn’t be together, so they were separated, only able to meet each other once a year, you know? So they could do their work and be their best selves the rest of the time,” he explains, because that makes sense. That’s what he’s been telling himself for so many years, the excuse he’s been feeding himself whenever he wondered if what he was doing was really worth it, every single time Tooru showed him that he wanted more in such an obvious way that even Hajime couldn’t ignore it.

"We're not them, though," Tooru says, reaching over with his pick and stabbing into one of the takoyaki, lifting it up and holding his hand under it as if not to drip, even though the bonito flakes sticks to it because of the sauce. He brings it to his lips, eating it in one mouthful.

"Of course, it's a legend," Hajime replies, rolling his eyes as if that’s the part of the story he doesn’t agree with.

"No, silly, I mean the weaving part. There's no reason for us to be apart all year, because together we're stronger," Tooru says, smiling proudly at Hajime.

"Do you even know how to weave?" Hajime asks dumbly, raising an eyebrow.

"Volleyball is our weaving. Basically the same thing," Tooru hums, leaning over again to take another one, but this time Hajime pulls the small box out of his reach, frowning at him.

"Save some for me, greedy," he says, quickly pressing the pick he had gotten into one of the takoyaki, putting it in his mouth without even waiting for it to cool down, obviously burning his tongue but toughening out as he swallows it, trying to keep his face free of the grimace of pain he’s obviously holding back.

"Careful, they're hot," Tooru says, smirking at Hajime who looks back at him with tired eyes that say 'really?' but not dignifying him with an actual vocal reply.

“I’m just saying—” Hajime begins after swallowing the bite, but Tooru cuts him off with a wave.

“No, Iwa-chan, I’ve been waiting for too long—You’ve been waiting for too long,” Tooru says, this time turning completely towards Hajime, reaching out to grab his shoulder. “You’re the one holding yourself back, and I’m not going to let you anymore, because we’re stronger together.” Tooru says. Hajime opens his mouth to argue, but frowns as he realises he has no arguments, looking down at the takoyaki instead. When Tooru speaks up again, Hajime can hear the confidence building in his voice, aware that his words are growing on Hajime. “The whole Milky Way separates them, what’s our excuse?”

And this time, Hajime refuses to let old legends or fears of holding each other back hold him back. This time, Hajime leans in and kisses Tooru.

This year, Hajime doesn’t write down any wishes, because for once, his wish has already come true before he even had a chance to ask for it, before he even knew what it was. Because it’s not him holding Tooru back and it’s not Tooru holding him back. Just like Hajime has been trying to push Tooru forward, Tooru is the one pulling Hajime along with him.

And this time, when Hajime is the one cutting the distance between them, Tooru kisses him back with fervor, and Hajime realises that he has been waiting long enough. He also realises a bit too late that they just dropped the rest of their takoyaki.

✰

Tooru’s reputation precedes him, and he gets a spot as a regular before Hajime, albeit as a reserve server and setter rather than a starting member. Hajime tells himself he isn’t bothered by this, but when Hajime also gets a spot and is even put in an official match as a starting member before Tooru is; technically Tooru has been in a match too if you count in the time he was used as a pinch server, not a starting player, Hajime decides that it doesn’t matter. And when they’re both appointed regulars, the number one setter and ace on their team, a pair working at full force together again, everything seems to fall into place.

They return to the festival hand in hand, not like the legend where Orihime and Hikoboshi meets each other from each side of the Milky way, only to be together as lover on one day of the year. Because they’re not like them, and they’re stronger together, better, happier, and they challenge each other to work harder. Hajime has been spending so long fearing that he was holding Tooru back, only to realise that they were both pushing each other forward.

“Next stop is the national team,” Tooru says as he laces their fingers together, clutching onto Hajime’s hand in determination. Hajime nods with a smile, and he realises all over again how right Tooru was - together, they push each other to grow, to become stronger. The idea of them settling down or neglecting their dreams because they’re together is now hilarious to him, because with Tooru by his side, Hajime’s dreams has never felt more within his reach.

✰

“You know, the festival is really clashing with our schedules this year,” Tooru complains one afternoon in the kitchen of their new apartment, one closer to the stadium they train in almost daily.

“Oh? Do you not want to go this year?” Hajime asks as he pours up coffee for them both, reaching one cup over to his boyfriend who accepts it gratefully with both hands. Tooru doesn’t reply to the question at first, but when he looks up with a smirk, Hajime already knows the reply. He sighs before taking a sip, pulling out his own phone. “I’ll talk to the coach, you just try and get some tickets,” he says, typing in a message to the coach, well aware that he knows they can get the few days free.

“See, remember there was a time where you thought we weren’t great together?” Tooru asks teasingly, putting down his cup on the counter as he walks over, putting an arm around Hajime’s shoulder.

“Good thing I had you to prove me wrong then, huh?” Hajime replies with a smirk, grabbing Tooru’s hand over his shoulder and holding him there before turning his head and kissing him.

✰✰✰

#iwaoiexchange #iwaoi #haikyuu!!#mine #can i just say the organizers have been so wonderful and i really appreciate all you've done also i love iwaoi more than life #also so sorry for posting this late lol ya know with the shorter time period i had and yeh i hope its ok!!#idk if my recipient wants me to like put it as a gift on ao3 and i don't want to be rude and do it without asking :]

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