#and yesterday i did my 4 year old nieces makeup and she did a pose for me when i was done | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

violentdevotion · 8 months ago

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a post in my drafts since last september.

my opinion on kids and the child hating discourse is sometimes my nephews and nieces are really loud while im napping and wake me up and it annoys me and they bug me while I'm doing something and want silence and they've broken so many of my things and they come into my room first thing in the morning and children crying in transport on long journeys are annoying but sometimes when I'm in a depressive spiral and don't want to leave my room someone will come in to talk to me and they compliment me when I do the most basic thing in the world because its impressive to them and they dedicate their arts and crafts to me and they'd come into my room because they were thinking of me first thing in the morning and they wanted to say hi and I remember that's the most basic form of love and little kids in the store i work at will light up when you compliment their clothes and are the most excited people in the world when you give them the reciept and also sitting in a cramped plane or bus for hours is uncomfortable and painful and the only reason I don't cry is because I have headphones a book and a sense of shame

#self rb #today i went to my grandads house and no one really acknowledged me other than me auntie making a passive aggressive remark about me b #bringing my tote bag and my toddler nephew ran from across the room into my arms so while they all ignored me i played with him #and yesterday i did my 4 year old nieces makeup and she did a pose for me when i was done #and today when i was saying bye to my niece a few minutes later her mum sent me a picture of a lego 'flower' she made me #and one of my nieces looks just like me when i was her age but with curly hair #and the other day i called my nephew beast boy and he cried and my mum shouted at me for making him cry #like sooo often so so so so often we're all fighting and arguing and complaining over something the kids did. im always saying theyre not my #kids im always annoyed that theres so many of them i never get a day of pure peace but which kid would i lose?#ive only started reading namaaz like it was always daunting to me for some reason and i never did and yesterday i set an alarm for zuhr and #i slept through it and at half 1 my neohew fell over and started to cry so loudly it woke me up and i didnt miss namaaz #like sometimes the annoyances are the blessing

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