#and yes while techno is not phils son wilbur is :))

[lookinghalfacorpse]

You don't have to respond to this one, but @ your last tags on the found family trope post, I can't say I haven't been curious if anything like that was ever the case. You've been so careful in painting everyone's relationship to be on trust and healthy reliance on one another in times of need, and Techno + Dream definitely have something more intimate and close going on (which I deeply appreciate btw- I couldn't bear it if someone tried to stick itwall!Dream as a brother to Techno, or put him in alongside Wilbur as a son figure to Phil :shudders:), so I'm VERY curious how detailed those thoughts have gotten at any point in time /lh /but genuine

(talking about my semi-cursed tags on this post)

yes i can talk about this all day !! i think the dynamic that doomsday trio brings is fascinating, and i don't blame those who see it as a nuclear family dynamic because i think the comparison does work in some places, but it's more complicated than that. i touched on it (in vaguely poetic terms) in this post, but i can give more detail here.

c!philza is an old man and an experienced father, and his instinct as a guardian is strong. this is the closest we get to a nuclear family format in itwall; phil definitely calls on some of his skills as a father when he helps dream, but it's a bit more complex than that. phil recognizes that dream is an adult in human years and doesn't need to be babied (hell, he doesn't even baby Wilbur, his own son who's around the same age!). dream needs care, he needs a mentor, and he needs a better self-preservation instinct before he kills himself. i think their relationship is closer to ancient grecian mentorship than fatherhood/sonhood, the only difference is that the mentee is on death's door for a while and needs some extra attention. phil sees himself in dream, dream sees phil as someone he might like to be, and there's a level of mutual respect there.

i also think that techno and dream have a sense of brotherhood, but in the same way that two athletic teammates have a brotherhood. they have a long history of trust between them, with room for playfulness and teasing. there's a lack of touch aversion (which is HUGE for dream), and dream initiates more of their touches (as opposed to phil, where he tends to be more submissive) (i'm thinkin about ch 12 & ch 19).

and, of course, techno & phil have a complicated relationship of their own. i'm always annoyed by headcanons that techno is phil's son-- we see plenty of interactions where they mutually worry over each other and care for each other. the will is Not written like a boy talking to his father. these two are lifelong partners, and that letter is written to someone who techno knows will understand him and trusts to carry out the more sentimental, intangible tasks, like talking to niki and ranboo, with very little instruction.

highly oversimplified but this is the idea. Techno and dream have similar relationships with phil but it's not really sonhood. all built on trust. they've proven to each other that they will keep each other safe.

and honestly.. none of those relationships would have to exclude sex or intimacy. equals/partners can have sex. comrades can have sex. mentors/mentees can have sex (i think people feel weird about this one, but again: think Ancient Grecian). i have Quite A Few scenes in my head about how their sexual relationships might work (especially in the early days when dream isn't feeling good...). i guess in light of everyone being more open about shipping i would consider writing them, i'd just keep them here instead of ao3.

i think both phil and techno consider dream to be heartstoppingly lovely. i think dream would love to be loved. i think phil&techno and techno&dream may have had some encounters Before the start of itwall, so it would just be a matter of tying it all together.

[blockgamepirate]

(that post was so banger it finally made me register an alt) Honestly, you are so correct about L'Manberg

I remember regularly lurking around mcytblr and reading analysis and I think I only saw coherent L'Manberg nationalism analysis from, like, Xephyr and a c!Dream blogger/fan. Which is crazy in retrospect, because the ease with which most of the fandom leaned into fictional country hardcore patriotism was/is kinda insane

And the ensuing anti Doomsday stance -- like we all know that terrorism is bad and shit, but absolute refusal to acknowledge that maybe Doomsday trio and co were not punished by the narrative for having done that was because they were right was. sure something!

omg that's very flattering thank you :D

By Xephyr I assume you mean @considermygenderminecrafted ? Because yes, xe has some of the best L'Manburg critique out there, as well as some of the best c!Wilbur critique, everybody should absolutely check it out immediately (altho frustratingly, I just tried to find some of their posts as an example but Tumblr's search function is still absolute garbage (Xeph, do you have some of your great posts at hand and if so, can you just link some of them in the reblogs or something?))

And yes. There are valid criticisms that can be made of the Doomsday Trio's tactics (which even Techno himself sort of acknowledged later), but at the end of the day, they were on the right side of history

(Well Dream's character less so, but I can't even be bothered to try to analyse him at this point because none of his plans make sense to me)

Also nobody ever seems to acknowledge that Doomsday Trio were acting in self-defence, since L'Manburg had already gone after both Techno and Phil, and was at the time trying to kill Dream as well, although he kinda beat them to the punch (possibly because he already knew they were planning to kill him? idk, I'm not sure if that was ever confirmed or not)

But yeah, the argument about them needing to be punished by the narrative was always absurd to me, and it just betrays the fandom's belief that L'Manburg was supposed to be objectively good, despite all the evidence that it very much was not, not even to its own citizens! And possibly also the unquestioned assumption of "state good, anarchy bad"

Meanwhile the actual narrative repeatedly shows that L'Manburg always ends up becoming toxic, corrupt and ultimately oppressive, even under the Good President, while on the other hand the anarchist commune eventually turns into a sanctuary for all sorts of people who need a safe place to stay (even arguably the aforementioned former Good President when he needs somewhere to hide his son from kidnappers)

And yeah, this is why I did get pretty heated about some of the debates at the time, and I kinda still do, because in the process of assuming that L'Manburg was always the good guys, they ended up repeatedly justifying just absolutely horrific state violence as well as excusing early L'Manburg's xenophobia (as comedic as it initially was), which unfortunately mirrors a lot of real world authoritarianism and xenophobia

To be fair a lot of this was probably also protagonist-centric morality, since most of these people also saw the L'Manburg side as the main characters, but then again what is nationalism if not a form of protagonist-centric morality where you see your own country as the protagonist of the world lol

I might actually need to make a proper post now since multiple people have shown interest, unfortunately I'm also very lazy and kinda made my main points in that low effort post already

Which would mean that it would actually have to be a high effort post to justify its existence

[angelf1re]

Undercover Care

as a young, broke senior in high school, you take up a babysitting gig, not knowing you’d be babysitting a mafia bosses sons.

You sighed quietly, looking over the job listings on the website one more time. Most of the jobs wanted people with experience, something you didn’t have, so finding a job was…a little difficult to say the least.

You wanted something simple too, just something to get you off your feet, not some crazy over the top job that drained you more often than not. You ran a hand through your hair, jumping slightly when you got a notification about a new job being posted. You hover your mouse over the listing before clicking.

The notification took a second to load but once it did you started reading. A babysitting gig. You hummed, looking over the details. 3 kids, ages 21, 22, and 16, access to food while working, $8,000 a week, bedroom if need- $8,000 a week!? You blinked, rubbing your eyes to see if they were playing a trick on you. Nope. $8,000 a week. What kind of rich fucker was this guy? $8,000? For three kids? Scratch that, two of them weren’t even kids anymore, and they still needed to be watched?

You looked over the details one more time. “I mean…it’s not a bad option…” you mumbled to yourself, clicking on the contact number. You copied it down into your phone, dialing and calling as soon as you did. You took a deep breath, listening as your phone rang. Tragically, you couldn’t help but hope the guy wouldn’t pick up. Awful, you know. But you were a nervous wreck. You were only 19, so what if he didn’t hire you? What if he wanted someone with experience? Or someone older? What if-

you were cut off by the sound of the phone being picked up. “Hello? Who is this?” The man on the other side asked. “Um, hi. My names Y/n and I was um…looking at the babysitting position?” You winced slightly at how awkward you sounded, although it probably sounded worse over the phone. “Ah yes! I didn’t expect someone to respond so quickly!” The man said cheerfully. “My names Philza Minecraft. It’s lovely to meet you, mate.” He said. You smiled, at least he was a nice guy. “Uh yeah. Nice to meet you too.” You said, feeling a bit less awkward.

“Now, my boys can be…how do I put this…rough. They don’t really like new people, so you will have to win them over. If they don’t see you fit within a month, sadly I would have to let you go.” The man, Philza, explained. You nodded before remembering he couldn’t see you, so you just let out a hum. “First question, how well do you deal with high stress situations?” The question caught you slightly off guard. “I’d say I’m pretty good?” You said, shrugging to yourself. “And what about cooking? Can you cook well?”

You thought to yourself for a second. “Yeah I’m a pretty good cook.” You and your mom used to spend two nights a week learning a new recipe together, you even still have her old cookbook that she gave you before the divorce. “Wonderful! Now, how old are you?” He asked, making you panic slightly. “I-I’m 19, sir.” You said nervously, biting your lip. “Perfect! You’re hired.” Your jaw dropped slightly. That easy? “O-okay. When should I come in?” You asked, getting over the shock quickly. “Come in tomorrow at 9. I’ll have a schedule for you by then. I’ll text you the address.”

You smiled to yourself. “Thank you so much sir.” “Please, call me Phil, mate.” He said, his tone cheerful. “Before you go, what are your boys’ names?” You asked curiously. “Ah, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy.” He told you. You smiled. “Alright. I can’t wait to meet them tomorrow.” You said happily. “Well it was nice talking to you, but I have got to go to a meeting soon.” He said, the sound of rustling on the other side of the phone. “I understand. Have a good day Phil.” You said, pulling the phone away from your ear as you hung up.

You say there for a second, processing the fact that you, a 19 year old, now had a job. A really, really good paying job. You cheered to yourself, standing up from the chair quickly. “Hell yeah! I’m employed!” You said happily, spinning around a little bit. It took you about 5 minutes to calm down, but excitement was still running through your veins. You had a job now! You smiled to yourself, going to the kitchen to make food before you started getting ready for bed. You made something simple, just some chicken tenders and sweet ‘n sour sauce. You sat down on the couch, placing your plate on your lap and you grabbed the remote, flipping to a random cartoon channel. You ate in peace, going through all the possible outfits you could wear tomorrow.

You say there for a bit, almost just snacking on your now somewhat cold food. Once you finished, you turned the tv off, going to the kitchen to wash your plate before going to bed. You hummed to yourself as you cleaned, still going through all your possible outfits you wanted to look professional but also not too professional, you were only 19 after all. You set the plate on the drying rack and dried your hands, jogging slightly as you went to your room. You quickly changed before going to the bathroom to brush your teeth, looking yourself over in the mirror. After getting fully ready you finally got in bed, the buzz under your skin finally going away. You fell asleep peacefully, excited for tomorrow.

(This is going to be a series! I’ve had the idea in my mind for a while so I thought it would be nice to write it out!)

[bonesandthebees]

Two more things before I start chipping away at my long analysis because they’ve been rotating in my head.

1. I am not getting over the implication (well it’s rather explicit) that Phil and Techno have killed multiple people (and taken turns doing it). Combined with Phil being familiar with being threatened… I kinda want a prequel of these two murder plotting their way to the top. I’m so glad we get a Phil pov. I love the besties. No hesitation, yeah you can murder that man I’ll be on lookout. You go get revenge.

And Wilbur killing is necessary because it’s the best excuse to break his moral ‘code’. He wants revenge, he feels threatened and wants to protect Tommy (and Niki and Quackity too in a way). His has a noble reason + his personal anger. This is the easiest it’s ever going to get to convince him to murder someone. And Phil has experience with this so he knows it’s something Wilbur will have to do if he wants to maintain his power. From a game standpoint it’s a good choice. From a father standpoint it’s an understandable choice but girl it’s not healthy.

2. From the moment Wilbur was in that ballroom with Niki on 1 side and Tommy on the other I knew what was going to happen AND I HATE IT /aff. If I wasn’t home alone I would have been screaming at him to choose Niki! He literally provides himself with every argument (including reasons why not picking Niki is dangerous when thinking about Tommy aka you cannot be sold out if the only people who know are also guilty, in which case he would be safe should Niki find out and should they drift apart (which he has no vision of the future, so he’s not worried about that, BUT I AM))

it’s so beautiful and good and frustrating and tragic at the same time. This is the point where he chooses Tommy over Niki. His alliance is made even if it isn’t really. His mental alliance has been made. And his chance to keep Niki is slipping. And yes I am actually upset about him going to Tommy and forcing him into this. That poor kid has enough trauma. He’s 13 and he helped murder someone (for his own safety) when he did not need to be (much like Wilbur actually). (Also he’s loyal like a dog geeez).

Anyway, I will repeat all of this in my big batches. But who knows when I get around to writing those with all the work stuff. So enjoy my brain worms. (I am Looking 👀 at the answer to my last ask).

-🌲

phil and techno certainly pulled a lot of... things off while they were both climbing their way up the ranks. I just love the absolute trust and understanding those two have with each other. one goes and murders a man while the other stands lookout, no questions asked. they've done this before and it's like a well-oiled machine at this point. murder besties <3

exactly, this is going to be the best introduction wilbur could ever get to pulling off something like this. he has a very strong reason for wanting schlatt dead, both with his own need for revenge and the future threat schlatt poses if he sticks around. phil can see this as the opportunity it is and knows that wilbur is going to have to pull something like this eventually, so he's doing the helpful parental guidance thing. with political murder. totally normal and healthy bonding activities with your 19 year old son.

once again, I'm thinking about the tragedy of rose!wilbur and rose!niki. there was no reason for wilbur not to go to niki. he had every reason not to go to tommy. but he was never going to choose niki. not after l'mannes. not after what he and tommy went through.

also just want to point out that there's actually zero evidence that wilbur had anything to do with schlatt's death. even an eyewitness account claiming that they say him putting something in schlatt's drink would have to be backed up by someone finding the vial in his cloak, but he smashed it to pieces the moment he got back to his room like phil told him to. there's no written correspondence about the plan because wilbur, phil, and techno only ever discussed it in person. and while an eyewitness accusation might be enough to get some people convicted, when you're accusing the son of the consil himself it's not. so unless some other evidence magically appears he'll get away with it scot free

yes you understand exactly what the point of that scene was. the entire scene was designed to show wilbur finally being forced to choose between tommy and niki. even if he hasn't admitted it to himself yet, he's now tied himself to tommy. and of course it wasn't fair to tommy whatsoever. wilbur had the option to go to someone else, wilbur had the option to not do anything at all and let phil handle it because phil told him he had alternative plans, but wilbur didn't want to do that. so he dragged the 13 year old into his murder plot and now tommy will have that on his conscience for the rest of his life. it's not fair to him whatsoever.

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Do you perhaps want to info dump about your DSMP superpower AU?

Totally not asking to procrastinate on literally writing my own. Nah. I don’t even know what procrastination is.

SKLFDJSJHDJFLH INFODUMPING ABOUT MY AU? ALWAYS. I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED.

Okay so! Where should I start? *rubs hands like that one evil toddler cousin on Christmas*

The background setting!

So the fic already has a name, but I'm keeping it AND the MC secret as a lil surprise for when the fic is eventually published. All I will say about it is, it's not Tommy. *gasp*

Tommy does appear though, so I'll start there to avoid detection I think.

He works at the bakery(yes, it's owned by Niki Nihachu), which is right around the corner from the hero headquarters. So heroes are always stopping by for baked goods, especially since Niki's girlfriend, Puffy, has a son who's one of the top heroes, and he told all his friends about how good the bakery is.

And, of course, true to all the clichés, Tommy and his two roommates work as vigilantes. They don't work only at night, though. They work at lunchtime as well, since they all get an hour of lunch break & a lot of villains are out and about around that time. Counterintuitive, but then again, there are a lot of people in the streets to nab as hostages, and some villains actively seek out heroes to fight anyway. Like Redrum, known as the sharp-clawed, since he's apparently a catshifter (or general shapeshifter, who knows) who goes around stabbing heroes.

Tubbo works at the mechanics, his boss is retired hero/hero trainer Sam Dude(known as Warden during his time)! Sam retired among controversy though, because of issues surrounding the Hero HQ's former resident healer/ex-licensed hero, Lemon Balm. Tubbo couldn't care less though, Sam's nice and lets him take spare parts home for inventing(read: making vigilante gadgets).

Ranboo helps out at the local library, with Technoblade(last name unknown) as his boss! They're also the first out of the vigilante team Bench Trio to find out that Techno is the Blood God, one of the most popular vigilantes currently active, and one half of the elusive Emerald Duo.

Phil runs a bird shelter, and when he's out as the Angel of Death, he sometimes lets the crows from the shelter follow him around!

Kristin is a hero-turned-vigilante, formerly Miss Trixtin, currently the Goddess of Death. She's a bit busy with her day job atm though so she's taking a bit of a break from her vigilante job.

Wilbur is their son who left home after an argument about vigilantism not helping reform the corrupt hero system. He's a villain called Silver Tongue now. He keeps stealing important stuff from the Hero HQ with Fundy. He gets pretty close with Tommy after regularly visiting his (adoptive) son's workplace :D

Bench Trio's vigilante names are Aerie(Tommy- telekinesis + singing to plants to make them grow), Bee Bomb(Tubbo- honey colored explosive energy balls & metal manipulation), and Endgame(Ranboo- teleportation & compression, plus they can bite through anything)!

(Double powers are uncommon but not too rare, triple powers are EXTREMELY rare.)

Tommy's bakery coworkers are Fundy Soot(villain- helps his adoptive father, Wilbur, on his little outings. Ability to go unnoticed by everyone and anyone. It works on technology as well. He's also a general shapeshifter in theory, but he can't transform into animals bigger than a fox.), Badboy Halo(civillian- he can make red vines grow out of the ground! This saved Skeppy's butt once, cuz they used to live in the same neighborhood & went to the same schools, and one time Skeppy fell off the flagpole of the middle school. Bad's vines caught him midair.), and later on Ant Frost(����).

Niki herself is actually a former hero who resigned, she got too much hate about her power(copying others' powers for a short while). Puffy, who was her partner, retired a few years later, since she'd decided to adopt the orphan boy who had applied for the hero training program, and she'd need more money than she was making as a hero who had lost most of her popularity. She became a therapist, and fully supported her new son Foolish throughout his hero training!

Puffy and Niki never really talked about their relationship, but since Puffy's power is reading minds & emotions, and Niki can copy her power, they didn't have to. One day they just started telling people they were taken, and that was that.

Foolish is a popular hero who can call up storms & has the additional power of building anything in the blink of an eye! His partner(both work AND romantic) is Eret, who can control people's actions if they catch sight of her glowing white eyes. Their hero names are the Golden Shark and Monarch respectively.

Tina is also a hero, she graduated the hero training program with Foolish, but her powers(always landing on her feet when she falls, enhanced senses including night vision, and stealth) coincide too much with the top hero, Dream(can't get hurt from falling, slowing down time to give himself time to think, some enhanced agility), and she didn't get very popular. This will soon change though, Tina is the GOAT and everyone will know it.

Speaking of Tina, Hannah Rose the retired hero! She runs a flower shop! She retired after one of her wings was ripped during a fight, the physical therapy took a while and her popularity dropped like a stone. She realized how unfair the hero system was to unpopular heroes and decided to retire. Her wings still haven't recovered, her flight balance is too off for her to even consider flying more than a few feet off the ground, and more than a few seconds.

Las Nevadas! Quackity! He's one of the rare triple powered people! Golden duck wings, can manipulate card-shaped objects(a form of telekinesis), and has the ability to control odds(only if he's aware of all the variables though. It won't work very well if there are unknown factors).

Charlie! May be an elder god, may be the devil, who knows! He can turn into green slime, create green slime(with various properties), and additionally, knows everything about everyone. Nobody actually knows if this is a power or not, but it's certainly terrifying paired with his cheerful, optimistic personality.

Purpled! His skin is basically invincible, fireproof, acidproof, poisonproof, you name it. He also has perfect aim, which is very handy since he's an assassin. His sibling Punz is also an assassin, but they has flight trajectory manipulation and his eyes can zoom in on anything.

Skeppy. He's not part of the mafia, but he might as well be becuase he's literally always there. Nobody knows how he does it. But. He. Is. Always. There. He can summon diamonds though so nobody's complaining😊 lol

(But seriously, he's also fun to hang out with and plan pranks with. The mafia world is full of people who want something from you/have ulterior motives, and it's nice to hang out with someone who doesn't want anything from you other than keeping him company and talking with him.)

Sam, Foolish and Punz are friends! Sam suspects Punz is mafia but keeps quiet about it(he isn't about to make the same mistake as last time), Foolish is oblivious. Punz loves his homies, but is stressed bc Foolish has a v strict moral code and would not be happy if he finds out Punz is mafia.

Uhhh who have I not talked about, KARLNAP. Sapnap was a vigilante(he failed the training program interview) who quickly got recruited by the heroes, Karl was the same but a while later! Sapnap got patrols with Dream and GeorgeNotFound(all three go by their actual names as heroes, though Sapnap's vigilante name was Flame) and immediately gained a huge following(besides his fans from his vigilante days), but Karl(a.k.a. Timekeeper) wasn't that well-known even as a vigilante. He didn't give up though, and trained extremely hard every day. Then one day Sapnap saw him in the training area and got an instant crush. They talked, Sapnap began asking to be paired with Karl for duo patrols, they started dating, and now they're both famous & known as the ultimate power couple :3

Hmm, it feels kinda anticlimactic to end like this, so have a codename compilation!

Tommy- Aerie(place to rest suspended in the air. Tommy can float things in the air so I thought the name fit.)

Tubbo- Bee Bomb(Bee Bombs are wildflower seed balls that you leave out in the garden/in pots to grow wildflowers. I thought Tubbo would like the name, since his energy balls are supposed to smell sweet like wildflower honey.)

Ranboo- Endgame(They're so overpowered with their teleportation and compression that Tommy and Tubbo insisted his appearance alone would signal the beginning of the endgame. Nicknamed Ender.)

Technoblade- the Blood God(obviously.)

Philza- the Angel of Death(also obviously.)

Wilbur- Silver Tongue(for his silver tongue.)

Fundy- either Nonexistent or Ghost, haven't really decided yet

Kristin- (formerly) Miss Trixtin, (currently) the Goddess of Death

Foolish- the Golden Shark

Tina- Carrot Cat

Eret- Monarch

Niki- (formerly) Copycat

Puffy- (formerly) Captain Puffy

Karl- Timekeeper

(Mafia Codename explanation here)

Quackity- Rey Club, King of Clubs

Purpled- Tyrian Spade

Punz- Lapis Lazuli Spade, Ace of Spades

Hannah- (formerly) Faerie, (currently) Bitterbriar Diamond

Skeppy- Adamant Heart(since he's always there anyway, they just gave him a codename.)

Charlie- Dresden Diamond, Jack of Diamonds

Ponk- Lemon Balm/Sorrento Heart(they still go by Lemon Balm as a vigilante)

Ant- Redrum

Eryn- Demon

Aimsey- Daisy(star and Eryn are villains who want to reform society as a whole by blowing up buildings. Only when they're empty tho cuz Aimsey doesn't want to kill ppl)

Velvet: Red Flag

Welp, that's all for now! If there's anything else you'd like to know, please feel free to ask further! I really enjoyed answering this, thank you so much for the ask! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

-Lilly xx

(P. S. Almost forgot; HBomb is the owner & sole employee of a cat café with a maid event on Saturdays.)

[bedrockbones]

Dark SBI murder au but Tommy's both the murder and the little shit

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it ///not accepting

tommys first kill had been an accident. it was a school bully who had pushed and pushed and pushed. they boy had seen tommy as an easy target. the foster kid. the transfer. the one with no friends and no allies. months of torment all came to a head when the boy had chased tommy halfway home after school until tommy decided...why is he running? he...doesnt really remember the fight. but he comes back to himself with a rock in his hand, the edge of it wet with blood and a still warm body by his feet he expects, as he hides the body, for the guilt or terror or shame to set in. it never does. all tommy feels is relieved. even- he feels good even. tommy realizes he doesnt have to be prey anymore. he could be the predator

he gets a new placement a few months later (no one ever finds the body. a nearby construction site with still drying cement takes care of that problem) and he starts experimenting. the thing is- all the cool murderers have a style. theyve got themes and-and calling cards and stuff. but tommy doesnt have any of that. is he supposed to? but nothing really calls to him and he doesnt want to force a style! thatd be even worse than not having one he should-experiment. yeah. study up on the big names. Azrael, Soot, and Protesilaus. Those guys are the best. theyve even got the cool killer names! he studies their kills. their MOs. and once hes ready, he tries them out. the first few are sloppy so he hides the bodies. he cant let people see that-those are embarrassing!- but once he has them down, he displays them in similar fashions when he sees on the news theories of the return of "The Angel" tommy almost cheers. people think he's Azrael! that must mean he did a good job!

when phil sees one of “his” kills on the news, he does a double take. because he remembers his kills. he studies his victims and he most assuredly did not kill this man but everyone seems to think he did and yes, listening to the details, seeing the set up and the victim choice, if phil were anyone else he could see how this copycat would be misconstrued as the real thing. but phil isnt anyone else and he would like to know who the hell is copying his kills? were they taunting him? some arrogant upstart trying to encroach on his territory?  he doesnt even know why hes so annoyed. he’s not wilbur. he doesnt care about fame. that’s not why he does this (though he loves his son and understands his motives. its a tough world out there, trying to make your mark on it is unforgiving.) still. the fact that people dont realize its a copycat and instead think this kill was the real deal...phils interest is peaked

technoblade knows phil is hunting the newbie. hes been on him for weeks now and still no sign of the copycat. it was funny at first-watching phil scramble after some rookie killer and somehow not catching him- but then the little brat started copying techno as well. and thats when all bets were off.

when wilbur heard about this, he had laughed at first. only to grow more offended as time goes on that whoever this killer is isnt copying his MO. does this asshole thing wilbur isnt on the same level as his father and techno? oh he’ll show that little brat the truth then.

tommy knows he’s being hunted and it is the best. azrael thinks hes enough of a problem to deserve being hunted? thats so cool! tommy needs to make this worth the man’s while! 

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

hehehe gimme some sandduo

SAND DUOOOOOOOOO

~~~

When Wilbur was young, there had been crickets.

Most nights in the summer, he’d run around outside and try to catch the noisy bugs using a net or a jar. Sometimes Phil or Techno would help, using gentle hands and soft voices; Wilbur always liked it best when Phil or Techno helped. 

And sometimes he would simply sit on the porch, laying on his stomach and listening to the chirps and whistles and songs. Phil would sit on the rocking chair with a mug of tea, and Techno would either sit beside him on the other rocking chair with a book, or on the front steps to the porch without a book. 

Wilbur always loved the crickets. He loved their noises, the way they jumped, the way he could hold one in his hand and admire it. He always looked forward to summer for the crickets. 

Fireflies had long since gone extinct, but Phil would talk about them, and talk about how they would glow with yellow-green lights to attract mates, and how they could be easily caught in the palm of his hand, and how they would sit on his hand for a short while, sometimes blinking and sometimes not, before flying away into the gentle night. 

Wilbur loved hearing about fireflies. They sounded absolutely brilliant; he had a feeling that if he’d gotten to witness them in all their small, radiant glory, he would’ve loved them just as much as he loves crickets. 

Wilbur is not very young anymore, and there are no more crickets. He can’t quite remember when they’d stopped singing, or what year that was, or how old he’d been; all he knows is that they don’t exist anymore, and the earth is a lot more quiet for it. 

Now, the only noise to cut through the late evening is a strong breeze rattling the cornstalks together. Wilbur supposes they create a song of their own—albeit a less beautiful one. 

At least there’s something. 

“This world was never enough for you, was it?” 

Wilbur blinks, pulled from his mind by a familiar voice. Phil. Phil is here, next to him on the other rocking chair. Wilbur had almost forgotten. 

“What do you mean?” Wilbur asks, though he knew exactly what Phil had meant. 

Phil takes a breath, a smile tugging at his lips. “You know what I’m talking about. Ever since you were young, you always-“

He stops, and the nearly undetectable flickering in his eyes shows that he’s thinking. After a moment, he continues. “Ever since you were a kid, you would look up at the sky in a way that wasn’t… like others. That wasn’t normal. That wasn’t like anyone.” 

Wilbur huffs. 

“It was like you were looking for something that you knew was out there. It was more than curiosity, it was…” 

When he doesn’t finish, Wilbur chimes in, “A calling?”

“Yes.” Phil nods, holding his tea closer. “Yes, a calling. Your calling.”

He turns to lock eyes with his son’s. “You know what I’m talking about.” 

Wilbur holds the stare for a long few seconds before sighing, turning to look out at the corn. Corn, in all directions. Fields of it. Miles of it. 

“There’s no corn in space.” 

Phil chuckles. “Is that so?”

“Yep,” Wilbur replies, popping the p. “Only stars and nothingness. A couple million planets. A few asteroids, here and there, a black hole or two.” He begins to smile. “But no corn.” 

Phil says nothing, and together they grow silent. 

The wind picks up. 

Phil takes a long, deep breath, followed by a long, deep sip of tea. “You want to go out there.”

It’s not a question. 

Wilbur shifts, fiddling with the glasses he’d supposedly been trying to clean. They’re probably more smudged now than they were when he’d removed them from his face. 

Phil’s right. Of course he’s right; Wilbur does want to go out there. He wants to leave, to sail across the unknown reaches of time and space, to see stars up close. He does. He really, truly does. 

“The world is dying, Phil,” Wilbur states, because it’s good to be reminded. “It’s dying. Everything is dying, down to the crops and the bugs. We’re all dying. We all know we’re dying.” 

Phil nods. 

Wilbur glances at him, waiting for his dad to look back. “We’re living in a hole that’s being covered with dirt. A grave, we’re living in a grave. We’re living in a grave, Phil.”

Phil nods again, giving a small shrug. He turns to look out at the corn but turns back once he realizes that Wilbur hasn’t turned away. 

Wilbur holds his gaze. “We were born here. We were never supposed to die here.”

Phil sucks in a breath. “You’ve been reading too much poetry.”

“I’m serious.” 

Phil’s eyes soften. “I know you are.”

Wilbur holds his gaze for a while longer before swearing, turning away. Corn, corn, bloody corn. 

“Look up,” Phil instructs. “Remember: there’s no corn in space.”

Wilbur breathes a heavy exhale, doing as Phil said.

His breath catches. 

The stars are marvelous. White dots painted against a black canvas, as numerous and wondrous as strands of hair on a human head. 

“You’re never going to be a farmer.” Phil’s voice is almost a laugh. “I mean, that was clear from the start. You weren’t ever like me and Techno.”

Wilbur chews on his bottom lip. It’s true. 

“You were made for the stars, I think.”

Wilbur bites harder. “Phil, do you think I should go?”

Phil goes completely and utterly silent. 

“Phil,” Wilbur repeats, taking a breath. “Do you think I should go?”

There’s no answer. The rattling corn is deafening.

“Phil.”

“I don’t know.” 

Phil’s voice is quick and almost sharp. 

Wilbur’s lips tighten into a line. 

After a minute or so, Phil shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t…” 

A mug of tea is set onto the table with a clunk. 

Wilbur can’t look. 

“I don’t… know what I want to say.” Phil’s voice is quiet, now. The soft gentleness that Wilbur knows by heart. “I want you to go because I know you want to, and I know you’re made for it, and I know that if anyone can do something as impossible as this, it’s you. If anyone can find a home in the middle of space, it’s you.”

Wilbur stares down at the dusty floorboards. Techno said that raccoons used to live under them. 

“And I also… don’t want you to go, because you’re my son and I know I won’t-“

That sentence is never finished, but the words are heard anyway. 

Wilbur’s throat tightens, and he swallows. 

Quiet once again.

[error-dream-was-found]

What is the Mumza adopts Dream AU? When does this adoption happen?

Glad you asked!

What this idea is? It's exactly what it sounds like -Kristin decides to adopt Dream. When? Prison arc!

So basically, as the result of torture Dream very often finds himself in front of the death's door ... literally. He is half death/death most of the time. Slow bleeding out before Sam arrives to fix him a little, countless non-cannon deaths, either results of Quackity's recklessness or throwing himself in lava. Kristin has a plenty of time to get to know him and grows fond of him. He doesn't have many visitors so someone to talk with is nice. But the human seems to be worse for wear with every next visit and not just in terms of physical injuries that killed him. His mental state is also going downhill.

And at one point Kristen had enough. She's not letting the kid suffer any longer! (is Dream a man in his twenties? Yes. Does that stop a few thousands years old goddess from seeing him like a kid? No.) Her husband takes in strays all the time, it's her turn now!

It's no struggle for her to get him out of prison and to arctic. Dream for his part is very confused about what just happened, even more so when Kristin starts to argue with Phil who wasn't very happy with his wife's idea. Unsurprisingly she won so now Dream's their kid!

You can imagine how Tommy and Wilbur (revived at this point) reacted ....

Snippet:

Kristin watched with sad eyes as Dream rocked himself on the floor, trying and failing to stop the tears streaming down his face. It's been a while since he died but so far he didn't managed to calm down. It broke the goddess' heart a little to see him like this. By human standards Dream was an adult but he felt so young to her, he was just 20 something. Compared to her eternal existence it was nothing. Curled like this, covered in wounds he looked even younger. He looked like a kid and Kristen was immediately remind of her 4 boys.

"Oh, dear ..."

She tried to reach for him, to offer comfort and take the pain away, he flinched from her touch and it hurt more than it should. She was the death, mortals flinched away from her, it was in their nature. But this one was different, he didn't fear her. Right now it seemed like he feared everyone and looking at the hideous wounds lining his body Kristin couldn't blame him. Somehow each one of his deaths seemed to be more horrific than the previous one.

"Dream, darling? I'm just trying to help you."

The blonde shook his head silently.

"It hurts. I-I don't deserve this ... I don't deserve ... I just want it to stop hurting ..."

Her poor boy, just how much pain did they put him through? She wished she could grant his wish and stop the pain. She could keep him with her, in her realm but she thought better of it. This human had a lot of life in front of him. It wasn't his time yet so how .... Suddenly she remembered her sons. Wilbur was her's and Phil's, but Techno, Tommy and Tubbo joined their family later, in different ways. Phil found them and took them in. He helped them heal, offered them a home and family. The things Dream so desperately needed. The thing Kristin might be able to provide him. If Phil could bring in any random kid what was stopping her?

Closing the distance between them she carefully warped the human in a hug, the same thing she did for her sons whenever she was able to visit the mortal realm. Dream went rigid at first but then he melted into the gentle embrace. Running her fingers through the matted blonde hair Kristin smiled a little.

"Then how about I'll make it stop hurting?

[retirement-home-rumble]

off anon cause I want people to know who wrote this, it's me and my autism and I must be known for it. -drunk former anon (FYI I have dyslexia and write the way I speak so if I repeat myself its not on purpose.)

Why C!Philza and C!Techno are the old man duo. As to not go into my own hc’s i will be using canon or widespread accepted hc’s in this post.

Lets start with the easier, C!Techno. During his birthday stream on the dsmp he has a conversation with C!Quackity.

Quackity: Hey, it's your birthday? Techno: Ya, I’m old now. … Quackity: How old are you now…? Techno: Uhhhhh… I don’t know. Quackity: Huh? Techno: Yeah, I’m not quite sure… Quackity: You don't know how old you are? It's your birthday, you know the date but you don't know how old you are? Techno: It’s been so long.

While there are other lore conversations that would imply he's younger than an old man (ie Ghostbur’s book saying Wilbur and Techno used to spar when they were kids. And in a stream, Wilbur says Techno is in his late 20's.) Techno’s own more recent account counteracts this making it more canon. Also, the fact that Techno has stated that he and Phil are “longtime friends” as it makes more sense for the lore. With Phil canonically being immortal and an old man this does imply a similar lifespan to Philza.

Techno had canonized the fact that he only had one life (called hardcore mode) “Where I come from, people don't have multiple lives.” now while in the dsmp canon people have multiple lives, the implication that smplive is canon backing this up even. If smp live is canon the fact that while he was on the server he didn't die would help to back up the fact that he has one life and has lived for a while. Now does this mess a little with the ages of the characters? Yes, but if anything it makes some characters a few years older than implied in the series, not enough for any of them to be old.

Now on the fact that he can and will kill people in canon, the whole “Technoblade never dies” bit is real, he won't die and he will kill. He could crush any old bag of bones to mush with his bare hands. I will go more in depths with the duo part of this paper. On the server, Techno has one of the highest kill counts at 5 without suffering from a single death and has maimed, scared, or terrorized the other characters so many times it's hard to count. Quackity canonically had a fear of techno and was hunted down by him at least once, Techno used that fear against Quackity to scare him just for fun

Now the more complicated, C!Philza minecraft. In canon, he is old, old as shit. He's called old in canon and is considered the oldest character in the canon, the wiki even notes on C!Schlatts page “If Schlatt were to be revived in early July 2022, he would be more than 69 years old, assuming that he died in his 20s. This makes him the oldest character on the SMP, besides Philza.” Phil is old, old. Phil is also canonically a father, a grandfather, and a great-grandfather. As his son (C!Wilbur), who has a son (C!Fundy) who has a son (Yogurt a fox npc)

In the lore stream ‘awesamdude and Boomer NA lore finale Ft. Philza’ It mentions at the beginning “A very long time ago” Phil mentions his wife (who at this point was known as ‘Her’.) implying that he is under the moniker of The Angel of Death, C!Sam also mentions how “Hes the only person that can hang around you now” “I can be there” and that Phil was “Looking for someone you could be friends with for a long time” Phil also mentions in that same conversation “I could die… just because I’ve lived a long time doesn't mean I’m not invincible” implying Phil is old and won't die of old age. Now the time point in where this happens is very vague and not stated at all but it can be assumed Phil has been alive for a while at this point.

At one point in the canon, it was stated that for Phil he was in isolation for like 500 years in his hard-core world. While this was de-canonized some time ago this is still the accepted canon, putting the old bird man at a minimum of 501, it's assumed to be longer because his other hard-core worlds have been mentioned in the canon. Most importantly the baby zombie incident (tm) in where CC!Philza lost his 5-year-long hard-core world to a baby zombie and spider. Techno multiple times keeps up with the bit and goes “Philza lookout” while screaming every time a baby zombie appears. So it's likely that Phil is older than 600 and had a near-death experience with a baby zombie, an event that techno is aware of and feels the need to be protective of his friend over.

Phil is also popularly hced to be so old time doesn't work the same way for him, to explain the reasons why he set off an enderpearl stasis chamber 3 months and not 3 days after techno went to prison. (that or he can not read as he is so old he doesn't remember how to read in modern languages because when he learned to read it was a different language system.)

now while this is less canon and more the fandom part of Phil's character (cause man, is the fandom wild sometimes) ill mainly be bringing up the Tumblr side as it's the more fun side. For a while we had Phil being called Dilfza and at some point had also been called Gilfza when people pointed out that in canon Phil is a grandpa, so on occasion, Phil will be called Dilfza or Gilfza. The Gilfza part was mainly used by a handful of people starting in april 2021 but was first mentioned on Tumblr on january 2021

Onto if Phil could win and crush the other old people? Yes, yes he could. In canon, he is the angel of death, a name given to him originally on smpEarth a server where the Antarctic Empire took over the world and committed various amounts of war crimes. Phil also in the dsmp has participated in doomsday willingly and took revenge on the country that was responsible for his son's insanity and took great joy in taking out his anger on the people, setting off withers and bombs to do so. Phil has little regard for life when he feels it is ok to snuff it out adding on to his angel of death name.

Now time for the duo part and why you should not separate them.

There are multiple times during the canon where Phil and Techno show they are ride or die for the other. When Phil was questioned about Techno's location by the Butcher army he says “Where do you think this loyalty I have for this country exists? I'm not loyal to this country at all. I'm pretty new here, if anything you guys need to prove to me that I should care." Phil does not tell them anything about Techno’s location and goes on to say how close he and Techno are and that their friendship means more to him than New L’manburg does to him and how “We do not rat out each other.”. In fact, it only gets revealed to them about once they trash Phil’s house and find a compass that's connected to a lodestone which then gets Phil put under house arrested for being non-compliant. When Techno gets captured and sees the state Phil was left in he shoats “Phil what did they do to you.” and “You guys leave Phil alone, just take me.” showing how much care they have for each other, to the point where they would risk their own health and safety for the other to be ok.

Some of the most famous quotes in the fandom in fact come from the two of them and their show of Camaraderie,

Techno: "Phil, I have to tell you something." Philza: "Yeah? What's up?" Techno: "You're the only friend I have left in this world, Phil. The only friend I have left- which is why. I want you to have this compass. If you ever need me, Phil, I'm going into retirement right now. I'm giving up on my violent ways, but if you ever need me, Phil, I will fight for you. I will do whatever it takes… to help you"

And the ever-popular "You know what, Phil? For you- For you the world, Phil. All right?” Along with the fact that Techno trusted Phil enough to tell him about his chat that made up the voices in his head telling him to do violence (where it is also restated the fact they have known each other for a long time and at one point his violent tendency were worse). Later on in the story they even go as far as to make a secret group to discuss and dismantle governments together with the other being their most trusted person in the group.

Techno at some point gives Phil his will when he leaves to go into the prison, inside the book having parts of his actual will and the instructions for Phil to use the Enderpearl stasis chamber to bring him back from the prison after 3 days (as mentioned earlier.) What does ensue is playful banter about how Phil can't read but over all this doesn't even touch on their friendship.

These old men care so much about each other they are basically a package deal and you just can't separate them, where one goes the other will at least try to follow because they know they are stronger together and because they had spent at least 20 years together (the age of Phil’s son Wilbur, as Wilbur does remember sparing with Techno when he was a kid.) and what could be at least a couple century's together as allies and putting their lives in the hand of the other to keep them safe. Its also a popular hc that Phil was Techno’s mentor (as there was at some point some canon evidence that Phil knew Techno when he was a kid.) so to follow with the fact they are both much older this is even more of a reason why they should not be separated. thank you for coming to my ted talk ^^

Oh the power of autism. (This was indeed the duo I thought you were talking about)

[steppingstonesuniverseguide]

One More Step Out of the Pit: Chapter 2/26

Summary: It had been Tommy and Tubbo for practically forever. They clawed their way out of hell together. They discovered their superpowers together. They started working for the Superhero Guild together before even coming of age. Tommy probably owed Tubbo his life ten times over. So, when the three supervillains he'd been assigned to bring in managed to take Tubbo hostage, well, there was really only one thing to do.

He knew, of course, he was signing himself up for torture and death by offering that trade, but that was okay.

It'd have to be okay.

AO3 Link (See AO3 for Warnings.)

(This story is finished and has been posted on AO3 for a while, but I'm posting it on Tumblr so it's somewhere else too (considering the day AO3 was down a bit ago). The author notes will all be kept as well. If you are following the blog and don't want to see these posts, block the tag #backlog.)

Author Note: Here's a bit more status quo before getting into the action.

This house was a nightmare, Phil thought for very much not the first time.

 “Phil, please make him stop,” Techno pleaded through a mouthful of pancake. It was about 7am in his household and things were progressing in an unfortunately normal manner.

“Will, stop,” Phil ordered.

Wilbur did not stop. He continued to strum his guitar while spewing out sing-song words that inhumanly echoed against Phil’s skull. “Is it annoy-oy-oying?”

“Yes,” Techno groaned, and it was. It was the most annoying thing in the world the way his voice skittered and crawled up and down Phil’s back, like he was being poked with icy cold fingers repeatedly. It was painless, but Phil still wanted to slam his own head into the wall. Or, better yet, Will’s.

“Can we not have one breakfast without light torture?” he asked his son.

“No, Phil,” he continued to sing, and invoking Phil’s name made the annoying sensation of his voice dig deeper into his skin. “I need to practice, and you are a captive audience because you love me.” Unfortunately, this was fact.

“Shut up, shut up,” Phil begged. “Put the pancakes in your mouth and shut up.” He slammed down the last platter of pancakes he’d been making and put two on the boy’s plate. Wilbur ignored this, continuing to make the low-pitched warbling sound as he stummed on his guitar.

“I’m going to kill him,” Techno said. “I don’t even care anymore. I’m 98% sure it wouldn’t be permanent, but it would be so satisfying.”

Phil knew that was a lie, of course, (though he wondered when he’d gotten numb to those sort of jokes) and so did Wilbur. “Technoblade will not kill me because he is far too soft,” Wilbur sang even louder.

“Wilbur seriously,” Techno snapped, wincing at the increased volume. “I have a headache.”

Wilbur’s mouth snapped shut immediately and Phil let out a sigh of relief. The fingers on the guitar paused, letting the last strummed chord fade. Phil watched as those fingers shifted and rearranged themselves to strum a different chord. “This is Technoblade’s headache song,” he sang along with the new tune. “This is Technoblade’s headache song. Techno has a headache, so we’ll sing it all night long. Oh, we’ll sing it all night long.”

The tension that had been lining Techno’s shoulders all morning slowly leaked out of him. “How are you both the worst and best person in the universe?” Techno asked as Will repeated the chorus again. He let his head sink down onto the table and Phil had to act fast to keep his not yet braided hair from falling into the syrup. “You’re a lyricist. You’d think you could come up with something less stupid for it,” he grumbled. Phil patted his head with a soft laugh.

Wilbur just smiled through his song without pausing the “verse” of ‘ba da da da’s that came faster with a slightly different tune from the lyrics. It was a familiar song in their home, its origins from the first week they all lived together, though the tune had changed slightly as Will perfected it over the years.

The pattern repeated: two run throughs of the chorus and a string of ‘ba’s and ‘da’s’ three more times before Will paused. “Better?” he asked, just a touch smug.

“Yeah,” Techno grumbled reluctantly. He peeled his face off the table and grabbed his fork to stab another piece of his pancake.

“Good,” Phil said, rubbing his back. He turned to Wilbur. “Now shut up and eat your god dammed food before it gets colder than it already is.”

Wilbur grinned at him. “Don’t you want a song, Phil?”

“Shut it,” Phil said, pointing a warning finger at him. “Shut.”

“But…”

“Shut.”

Will rolled his eyes and finally, blessedly began to butter his pancakes in preparation for eating them.

“We should just lock him in his room for the first hour he’s awake,” Techno said. “Morning Wilbur is annoying.”

“I can give you back that headache, Techno.” Wilbur said, as he drenched his pancakes in syrup. There was no tune of a threat to his words though.

“I can give you a sword through your…”

“Boys,” Phil warned and even though they were rightfully far too old to have to listen to him, they both simmered down.

Phil was finally able to eat his breakfast in relative peace after that, though Will did absentmindedly hum as he ate. It was a light, calming sound though, so Phil didn’t mind.

“I want some tea,” Techno said as he picked up his and Phil’s plate. Will was still finishing off his bacon, using it to scoop up the last remains of his syrup puddle. “Anyone want tea?”

“With honey?” Will said, puppy dog eyes fully engaged.

Technoblade rolled his eyes and didn’t answer which Phil and Wilbur took to be a yes. “Phil?”

“Yeah, thanks Tech.”

Techno nodded and stole Wilbur’s plate out from under him. “I wasn’t done with that,” Will said with a frown.

“I’m not watching you lick syrup off your plate like a dog again.”

Wilbur huffed but didn’t argue any further.

“How was your night, Will?” Phil asked.

Wilbur turned to him, straightening a bit at the clear indication that they were switching over from breakfast time (where shop talk was disallowed) to business time. He shrugged in response to Phil’s question. “Was alright,” he answered. “Talked to Schlatt. Did some recon. Watched Techie sleep for a bit.”

“Yeah, would you quit that?” Technoblade said from over by the sink. “It’s creepy. Your eyes glow in the dark.”

“You snore,” Wiblur informed him cheerfully. “The Chicken was out and about at about 1am which is weird. Pretty sure he’s a second shift hero.”

Phil’s interest was immediately piqued at the mention of the superhero. The Red Glider (though Phil did think calling him ‘The Chicken’ was rather hilarious) was quickly moving from nuisance to legitimate opponent in Phil’s mind despite the fact that his power was a discount version of Phil’s own. He’d managed to get in their way constantly the past few months and somehow none of them had managed to land a hit on him. Just yesterday he’d managed to prevent them from stealing a rare suppression orb and then fucked off down a trash shoot of all things when Phil had thought he’d had him cornered. “Find out anything interesting?” he asked Will.

Wilbur closed his eyes in thought. “No,” he said after a moment. “I, uh,” a blush creeped up his neck. “Got distracted I think.”

“That’s alright, Will,” Phil said.

“No, it’s not,” Wilbur grumbled. “It would be a great way to get intel on the horrible little monster if he’d work with me. God, I so badly want to wring that little hero’s neck like the chicken he is.”

“He’s not that bad,” Techno said, setting down three mugs of tea.

“Your standards are low,” Wilbur replied. “He’s an annoying bastard, and he will die by my hand. Did you see what he did to my nose?!” He pointed at said nose and the blooming bruise there.

“To be fair, he was just doing his job,” Phil pointed out. Without even saying anything, he reached out to Techno who turned obediently to give access to his hair. He’d already brushed it out before breakfast and offered Phil one of the hairbands on his wrist.

“Would you have kicked my nose in during your hero days?” Wilbur questioned.

“Assuming you weren’t my kid?” Phil asked, making sure he’d gathered up all the loose pink strands of hair before starting to braid. “I would have beaten your ass Will.”

Wilbur pouted at him, though it clearly was mostly for show and Phil laughed.

“He did beat my ass,” Techno contributed. “He was fucking terrifying.” There was a softness to it like it was a good memory, but part of Phil still recoiled at the reminder of those times and he decided to change the subject.

“Speaking of the Red Glider,” he said. “We don’t have many more chances at a suppression orb. We need to come up with a plan to get around the hero agency if we’re actually going to get into the Netherrealm. The next easiest one to get that I know of is in The Vault. We’ll need fire resistance potions, though since it’s in the center of a pool of lava.”

“Any way this plan can avoid running into Mr. Cluck?” Wilbur asked.

“That’s a pretty good idea, actually,” Phil said. “You mentioned it was weird for him to be out at 1am. Do you know when he usually gets off?”

Wilbur contemplated the question, staring into his tea. “‘Bout 10,” he said after a moment.

Phil hummed. “He probably works, what? Noon to 10 then? If we strike in the mornings, we might avoid him. Maybe we’ll have better luck. We can go try to steal some fire res from the Blaze Lab today.” He finished off the braid and secured it before pulling away.

“If we can get Wilbur out of the bathroom before noon,” Techno said.

“Hey!”

“If we can make Wilbur get out of the bathroom before noon,” Phil agreed with a chuckle.

Author Note: Don't worry! I promise someone will be in pain the next chapter. :)

[griffintail]

"...I'm glad Wilbur is back." She smiled quietly, glancing up at Techno before looking at the chicken as she worked. "But it feels a little...I read this poem, once. About mothers sending their sons off to war. It was written by this one mother, and she realized that by praying for her son to stay safe and come home, she was basically praying for someone else's son to die. And this...feels a lot like that. That's there's no net good, only..." she shrugged quietly, falling silent.

"Hey." He gently put a hand on her shoulder. "...Phil didn't look for a while thinking the same thing. He didn't even know if there was a way to get either of you back. But he went back to looking thinking Wilbur would help and remember everything. None of us could have known what would have happened. That he wouldn't know anything. That it wasn't simply a part of him. So, yes, it's rough, but we'll work it out."

[bonesandthebees]

[“I know how to plan for a hundred different ways something can go wrong, so of course nature itself has to be the thing that fucks me over,” Phil muttered, shaking his head.] I really love being in Phil’s head. I do want to counter that this man had no control whatsoever over that horse running off, which is the only reason his kid is still alive even if he saved both of them with quick thinking after.

Anyway, taking your anger out on the presumed cause of your son’s possible death is not a healthy coping mechanism. That will not stop me from cheering for them to tear Schlatt apart. And it might take Phil’s mind of things too.

[“From that kid Sneeg had attending to Tomys—Ranboo, I think,” Techno explained,] the question is, was Ranboo fowling Wilbur on purpose? In which case we have the follow-up questions. Are they always the one who follows Wilbur or do the people take turns. OR did they see by accident.

Either way, Wilbur is very much right to be paranoid, which we already knew. Phil very much told him that not seeing anyone does not mean that he’s not being watched. But hearing someone report back on Wilbur to Phil while it’s treated as normal is very different.

Anyhow, I really enjoy the pieces falling into place, from his pov. Q looks troubled, so he probably knows something, it’s a good thing he tried to ‘warn’ Wilbur, that might save him later. We still don’t know how much he really knew and how much of a say he had in everything. But he’s an accomplice all the same.

I love Phil’s analysis of Q. [“but it doesn’t feel like his… style. It’s too underhanded for him.] of course we don’t really know how right Phil is in this assumption. But we do know that Q likes to strike deals. What’s more important, is that while it’s underhanded, having everybody know what you did is way worse on a political scale. Which is probably part of the reason why Phil prefers Niki as heir aside from the fact that she’s closer to Wilbur.

(2/?)

-🌲

rose!phil likes to be in control of things. information, situations, people, etc. that's why he's done such a good job as consil, because he has a hand in everything that's going on. so when he encounters something outside of his control, it drives him a little nuts. so yeah, he's not coping well with the weather being the thing that's keeping him from finding out what happened to his kid. so he's trying to find control in what ways he can, which right now is figuring out if schlatt really was the one responsible for this or not.

I won't say if ranboo is always the one following wilbur or not, but I will say ranboo was purposefully following wilbur that night yes. and that it was entirely on sneeg's orders, on behalf of phil. the web stretches far.

phil has basically told wilbur outright he's spying on everyone in the palace all the time, and that includes wilbur himself. it's not as though phil's trying to hide it from him. but yeah, I definitely liked showing how casually it's treated. phil's been receiving information from sneeg this way for years now. it's very much a normal thing between them.

we still don't know how much quackity knew/if he had any control over the entire setup. but phil has made it his job to analyze and understand the potential heirs, hence why he feels that this isn't in q's usual style. we saw where his mind went with the war games. he likes to strike deals and bargain, not play dirty. so there's a lot of questions surrounding quackity right now. I'm not giving any answers, I want you all to theorize how involved he was/wasn't :)

[dorylinae-supremacy]

Parentsduo upon ye!

Tags: Dark SBI, Zombie Apocalypse AU, Dark Phil, Dark Kristin, Dark Techno, Dark Wilbur, Mentioned cannibalism (not in detail), Fighting, Guns, Violence, Kristin and Phil are deeply insane, Partially Immune Twinsduo, they get forced to eat human and have some zombie instincts, ~800 words, you get the vibes as you read

Au where Phil is crazy and his kid (Wilbur) is partially infected so he has to get survivor meat for him. 

He ends up finding another survivor, Kristin, who mentions having a son too but that he’s ill and she’s on a supply run for him.

Phil feeling bad but not stopping his plan and rationalising it that if he doesn’t feed Wil then he’ll be as dead as her son so it’s equal in an awful way.

Him saying he can bring her back to his camp (easier than dragging her body) and she follows happily.

But when he says she can take whatever she wants from a backpack and readies his gun to kill her, she apologises and twists around with a gun to shoot him too.

Them both staring at each other for a bit (and him feeling pettily betrayed) and calling her a bandit. Her being just as mad and saying it’s not her fault that her son has to eat and this is the only way she can do it.

Kristin accusing him of not even having a son and Phil says “fuck it” and kinda traumadumps about how he’s half infected and needs to eat human.

Her being shocked and asking very seriously if he's lying and him scoffing and asking why he’d even bother because saying he’s a bandit would be easier. 

Him asking why she even thinks that and her explaining that her son is the same and that she was gonna kill him for food. Phil being shocked but apologising before raising the gun back up because he’s not about to let his son starve so hers can live.

Her grinning sharply and saying he’s outnumbered because he’s been trailing them the whole time, maybe calling out all sweet to techno and saying he can come out now. 

Phil twisting around and seeing Tech stumble out from the bushes ready to fucking maul him.

Kristin apologising all sweet and saying that she’ll put Wil out of his misery if she finds him so he won’t have to starve. Phil twisting to shoot her but Wil bursting out their tent and attacking her.

There’s a whole fight where Techno goes for Wil and then Phil drags him off so there's a fight between them while Kristin fights Wilbur.

They’re both getting injured with scratches but neither wanna shoot in case of actually getting their kid in the crossfire so it's just a horrible situation to be in for both of them.

But then there’s another survivor bursting in and asking what the fuck is happening. Everyone stopping while they go on a lecture about how they’re injured and how everyone should stop fighting and band together.

They’re cut off by both Techno and Wilbur banding together to maul the shit out of them because they’re far easier prey than either of their current fights.

Kristin and Phil both being injured and just watching unsure of themselves because the boys are sharing now dead survivor just fine.

Kristin says that this is all she wanted, a meal for her son and (if Phil is willing to follow along) she’s willing to let him and Wilbur walk away alive once the meal is over.

But here’s the thing, they're both more injured than they’re letting on and being alone again will only be more dangerous and they both know this.

So Phil makes an alternative offer. He will let Kristin and Wil stay at his camp if, and only if, they agree to not attack or harm either him or Techno.

Him and Kristin can team up on survivors to make up for their individual injuries and if anything happens, the other promises to take care of the child left by the other person.

Kristin thinks for a moment and maybe looks over at Techno, her shy boy now tentatively eyeing Wilbur and offering him a chunk of meat in exchange for the heart, and agrees to Phils terms.

And then obviously its a long road of enemies to friends to lovers between Kristin and Phil (starting off somewhere south of ‘divorced’ without ever being married) and fucked up cannibal / zombie bonding between twinsduo.

There are just so many opportunities here for bonding and showing off the moral bankruptcy (paired with moral righteousness) coming from Phil and Kristin. 

Their motivations are literally the same and they're both just different sides of the same coin but they refuse to see that because if they aren't the exception then that removes the flimsy excuses they've made to justify their actions!! I love them deeply.

This would be like an entire series from different povs obviously showing their bonding and I don’t have that planned yet but I really really like this AU so you’ll probably see more of my parentsduo propaganda because of that lmao.

Oh besties I’m in the kitchen again

I’m cooking

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

3, 5, 14, and 17 for the character ask game!! OH and I need to choose a character. Umm either Ghostbur or Phil (that's a person, right? I'm pretty sure it is but I don't know for sure)

Hello, friend! And yes, both of those guys are characters :D I shall answer for both of them!!

Ghostbur

Obscure headcanon

Hmm… this is a good question for Ghostbur :0 He’s a very obscure man.

He collects books! But not just history books (which he canonically reads) but all sorts of books; ancient books, religious texts, poem books, psalms, series, novels, fiction, non-fiction, short stories, fables, and on and on and on!

No one really knows where he gets them all lol

Best personality trait

EEEEEEEE

SO MANY!!! BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THE LENGTH OF THIS POST I SHALL ONLY FOCUS ON ONE!!!

His compassion and care for people :) No matter what the situation was, Ghostbur always paid attention to the well-being of others, and tried to help them as much as he possibly could.

That’s why he visited Tommy so much during Exile, and kept him company and gifted him the compass.

That’s why he gave Blue to almost everyone he came across, in an effort to make them less sad.

That’s why Ghostbur encouraged Tubbo, and told him that he was doing great :)

Like… okay, I could go on and on about this alsgajfsjafsgs but his care for others is near-unmatched, and it’s very sweet :’)

Most heroic moment

REEEEEEEEEEEE

I think that confronting Phil after Doomsday was pretty brave of him—and goodness, was Ghostbur scared. He was so very scared, but he talked anyway, and he let himself be open and honest and raw, and even though Phil didn’t do the greatest job with responding, I still think that Ghostbur was very brave, then :’) I freaking love that scene.

OH AND ALSO WHEN DREAM WAS LOOKING FOR TOMMY!!! And Ghostbur did his very best to lie in order to protect Tommy 😭 It was sksgajsgajfshaf it was so wholesome, it was so adorable my goodness that scene is the greatest ajdgsjsgajgshg

Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

:)))

Well. I um. I have a playlist. For Ghostbur. It is twenty-three hours long.

SO THERE’S THAT!!! But to name a few specific songs, I’d go with…

Married Life - Michael Giacchino

The Secret Place (acoustic) - Phil Wickham

Taking Care Of Things by Cavetown

Turning Out by AJR

Phil

Obscure headcanon

HE DRINKS TEA BOILING HOT. LIKE. I’M TALKING AS SOON AS IT’S OFF THE KETTLE, HE STARTS DRINKING. DOES NOT WAIT FOR IT TO COOL DOWN. DOES NOT BLOW THE STEAM AWAY. JUST STARTS DRINKING.

It’s mortifying.

Best personality trait

Aww :D

He’s a very steady guy; he’s not super emotional or conflicted, and rather chooses something and sticks with that something, whether it’s a person or a cause.

And goodness, does he care about the people he chooses! He’s such a sweet and kind guy, especially towards Techno and Wilbur (after Wilbur was revived). His love for those two is awesome :)

Most heroic moment

Hmm… okay, let me think on this for a minute.

Honestly? Doomsday comes to mind. Which is weird for me, because I definitely don’t agree with Phil’s actions when it came to Doomsday—in fact, me and a friend had a whole argument about it, which lasted forty minutes! It was great lol

But, while I disagree with Phil’s opinions and decisions when it comes to Doomsday, I do understand him. I understand his dislike of L’manburg, because to him, L’manburg is what took away his son, and L’manburg is what hurt Techno, and L’manburg is what changed Tubbo, and L’manburg caused so many problems and is not worth the pain that went with it. At least, that’s what Phil believed.

And I get it! I really honestly get it! I don’t agree with it, but I get it!

And like one of my friends said, Phil was willing to be the one that everyone hated by blowing up L’manburg; he was willing to be the bad guy. He was willing to be seen as evil or a traitor, as long as it meant that L’manburg was gone and that no more awful things could happen because of L’manburg existing. Phil was willing to be the bad guy if it meant he was “doing the right thing”.

And I think that’s brave. I don’t necessarily think it was right, but I do think it was brave.

So probably that :)

Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

EYYYYYYY :D

Here’s a few songs that make me think of this birb guy <3

Icarus - Bastille

Flying - Cody Fry

The Star-Spangled Banner - Chase Holfelder

creature - half alive

[bitechnoblade]

What's Techno in the SCP au?? I saw "SCP" and "SBI" in the same post and immediately got excited-

listen ive been excited to talk about this for ao long but i always get sidetracked when i actually write—

SO! so basic lil things about scp techno, or SCP-20538:

NOT phil's son, suprisingly enough

instead, he is part of a small pantheon of death deities (kristin, aka the lady death herself, phil, the god of peaceful passing, and himself, the god of bloodshed/slaughter)

he's a keter contained at site-06-4, somewhere off coast of florida

the most recent person directly in charge of containment is dream, who himself might be a little anomalous but thats redacted wink wink

despite being stuck for years, the foundation doesnt know his name is techno, bc he refuses to tell them

((dream and him are kiiiiiiind of friends tho?? they do vibe))

their site director is sam

his containment is high priority due to the fact that since his containment in [DATA EXPUNGED], there has been *noticeable* drop in violent conflict across the world

not completely, but *noticeably*

bad for the world, and the head of his containment, his object class changes from keter to uncontained sometime during the story after a visit from a little raven :)

other Fun Things :))))

remember the hound army he had at one point? bc i do

he doesnt need to be wherever the conflict is to influence it, he just sends his dogs, whixh is why the world didnt get 100% peaceful during his years at site-06-4

theres always stray dogs after all :)))

he cant use them to communicate the same way phil can do with his ravens

you might have been screaming at me that "phil has crows not ravens!!". he has both now. crows cant talk to anyone but him and work the same as technos dogs/hounds, working in their steed when they are stuck bc of the foundation

... what animal can techno use to send messages then? bunnies

he has hounds, can send messages via rabbits, wears a boar skull, appears where blood is shed, so you could say that the theme here is—

he's a god of the hunt

OTHER other fun things

sometime after SCP-20538 breaches containment, a junior researcher at site-06-8, united kingdom, one dr wilbur soot (phd) runs into an incredibly awkward young man who introduces himself as techno beck :))

[marshmellowjay]

Can you do like sbi And male!reader Ya know you can make headcanons - anonymous

Ayup! Sorry this took a while. But I hope you enjoy it anyway :)

Ft- Sbi (ft Technoblade, Philza, Tommyinnit and Wilbur

This is a family sbi au

Idk if this is really headcannons but thought why not make it into a crack fic type situation-

SBI REACT TO SICK MALE READER

Technoblade

HEH?!?!

Ya no once he hears your sick it's over with

You, bed

Him cook food

5 star potato soup coming up.

Yes you have to eat the whole thing, how are you supposed to get better.

Phil what do you mean I'm supposed to make chicken noodles soup. It's overrated anyway-

Ayo- 5 feet. I have things to do yknow-

Philza

WAH MY BABY-

(Yes you are the favorite youngest child)

You can skip school oh let me make you some chicken noodle soup- SHUT IT BOYS MY BABYS SICK-

No Tommy you still have to go to school stop trying to get sick-

Wilbur I swear-

My poor son don't worry you can stay home for the rest of the week don't worry-

No I'm not playing favorites- SHUT IT BOYS I HEARD MY BABY COUGH-

Tommyinnit

....PHILLLLLLL

So hey while we are waiting for Phil do you mind getting me sick too-

NTT!Brutus/Orpheus

SICK?!

Welp time to start planning a funeral

Not for me of course it's for you-

*constantly scaring you into thinking your gonna die*

What?! No Phil I dont wanna do their homework- WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO?!

*older siblings death glare* you win this time-

What...no I wasn't trying to poison them techno what do you mean :^

WAH DONT COUGH ON ME-