#and yes we're in the endgame now folks

[tobiasdrake]

Dalish Elf Origin. Now we're getting into the lore that was strongly recontextualized through Veilguard.

Now we're getting into things that directly intersect with the Veilguard revelations. After Andraste's revolution gave the Dales to the Arlathan descendants and then Andraste's church took the Dales back away from them, scatterings of elves refused to join human societies and convert to Andrastianism. They instead went their own way to try and remember what they could of the Evanuris and their true heritage.

Right from the get-go, the first codex entry is about the gods the Dalish worship.

Elgar'nan, Eldest of the Sun and He Who Overthrew His Father

Mythal the Protector

Fen'Harel the Dread Wolf

Andruil the Huntress

Dirthamen the Keeper of Secrets

Ghilan'nain the Mother of Halla

June the Master of Crafts

Sylaise the Hearthkeeper

Falon'Din is missing from the list.

The endgame that the Dalish seem to have in mind is to simply outlast humanity. They're just gonna wait it out until human civilization has collapsed, then reclaim what's theirs.

Though some Dalish are satisfied with what they have now. The "Aravels" codex entry details the journal of Taniel, a Dalish who thinks the elves have it better now than they ever have. Taniel longs for neither Arlathan nor the Dales, but believes that the Dalish are more free as a nomadic people than they've ever been in history.

Considering the history of Arlathan and Tevinter... uh.. yeah, that checks out.

Also, sometimes the Dalish piss off the woods and get turned into trees. That just. Happens. It happened in Arlathan Forest in Tevinter, and it also happened in the Brecilian Forest in Ferelden.

The Brecilian Forest codex entry tells the story of a clan who cut down a tree they shouldn't have. The tree had a spirit living in it and, despite the spirit begging them not to, one of the Dalish cut it down anyway to make bows. The spirits' retaliation made their whole clan into tree statues of ex-people.

In any case, the Dalish origin features the uncovering of a mysterious ancient ruin. Deep in the Brecilian Forest, on the opposite end of the continent from Arlathan, is an old site made from human architecture but with effigies of Elven gods.

Not this. This is a statue is of a woman gently roasting her forehead.

I was referring to this.

According to Tamlen, this is one of the Evanuris, though he neglects to name which one unless you press him on it. It's Falon'Din, the one that the codex forgot to mention.

Creepy, yes, but Tamlen assures the Dalish Elf that Falon'Din wasn't an evil god. He's wrong. Trust your instincts, folks.

(Fortunately for all of us, Falon'Din's been dead since the end of the second Blight, so we don't have to worry about whatever the fuck is being depicted here.)

But the key point of interest inside this ruin is, of course, this.

The Eluvian, which has the truly interesting feature of being guarded by a Blighted bear.

During the investigation of the Eluvian, Tamlen describes seeing a vast underground city and a great darkness. The darkness he's describing is, of course, the Blight. This Eluvian is implicitly connected to one of the lost Dwarven thaigs that the Darkspawn took.

Right here at the very start, a connection is made between the ancient elven gods, the Blight, and the Deep Roads. This temple to Falon'Din has a blighted Eluvian to some ancient thaig.

(Perhaps to his Archdemon Zazikel?)

Duncan, notably, miscredits the Eluvians as being of Tevinter origin. The Wardens are aware enough of Eluvians to know that sometimes they "break", as he puts it. They just... become Blighted out of nowhere, and start radiating Blight to everything that touches them.

(Because the Eluvian network passes through the Fade and the Blight itself also comes from the Fade. The Blight is tainting Eluvians from the other side.)

Also there's an opening to the Deep Roads. Apparently we have Dwarves to credit for that, as the blurb describes them as having "dug too high and too frugal and struck elves".

As the dwarves emerged from the vanquished Titans, it's entirely likely that they didn't realize there was an upper limit on digging at first.

The fun thing about the Dalish Origin is that, although this is not the Dalish clan we'll spend a major chunk of Origins's story with, it is a Dalish clan that we get to know very well in the second game.

Merethari will regret this decision.

Ilen has a bit of history for the clan to share. The Sabrae clan were among the first to flee the Dales during the second collapse of Elven civilization. That would have been around the year 7719, when the Dalish kingdom fell and the Sabrae people fled to the Brecilian Forest.

Upon arrival in Brecilian, the elves made a pre-emptive strike against the barbarian clans of the Clayne Alamarri, who Ilen is confident would have attacked us anyway. Probably not unfounded but it's still worth noting that the Sabrae started the hostility between the Clayne and Sabrae.

Note that this is centuries before the formation of the Ferelden kingdom in 8041. When they say "the Clayne", they mean Fereldans. The Clayne tribes are the Alamarri banns, arlings, and teyrnirs that Calenhad would one day unify into his kingdom.

In a sense, the Sabrae are still at war with the Clayne to this day

There is also a Dalish historian but he only shares the basics. After being freed from Tevinter, we built up the Dalish kingdom and sought to reclaim our lost history and lore. But then the humans were bitter that we didn't worship Andraste and fucked us right up.

Elven legends say that their ancestors were immortal and possessed magic that humans could scarcely dream of.

This is accurate. They're remembering the time before the Veil, when elves could draw on power from the Fade and the Blight. Solas isn't exactly wrong to think that the elves kinda-sorta long for him to tear down the Veil. They don't know that's what cost them so much. But it is, and he's misguidedly accurate in lamenting it.

Codex entries on the fall of Arlathan go a bit more into detail. Ancient elves were eternal and "never-changing", hinting at their origins as Spirits. They drifted through life in slow-motion, in a state where a conversation could last years or even decades.

The elves were here first. Well, the Titans were here first but the elves were here before the humans. They recall the first humans arriving from Par Vollen, the very same island that would become the arrival point of the Qunari.

(Did humans come from the same far-off lands that the Qunari came from?)

The Dalish recounting of Arlathan's history remembers nothing of the Titans, of course. But they do recall a "quickening" effect from contact with humans, whereby the elves' interactions with humans made them become short-lived and mortal as if somehow reflecting the humans' nature.

(Most likely a distorted interpretation of the Spirits deciding that they wanted to become corporeal. Perhaps it was contact with the humans coming in through Par Vollen that set the Spirits' minds to becoming the human-like elves?)

They don't recall the war between the Dread Wolf's forces and the Evanuris. But they do remember the newly arrived humans eventually forging their fledgling civilization into the Tevinter Imperium. And the fall of Arlathan under Tevinter conquest.

They also claim that "human contact" with the Tevinter turned every elf mortal. Probably misremembering the effects of the Veil going up.

They do, however, recall a pretty accurate account of what became of the Evanuris. Fen'Harel approached the "ancient gods of good and evil" and offered them a truce. They would exile themselves to their respective realms and never enter the other's lands.

However, they did not realize this was a trick. Fen'Harel betrayed them and sealed all the gods away forever, and that is why they were unable to come to Arlathan's rescue when Tevinter violence fell upon them. Now Fen'Harel roams the Fade, watching over the prison of the Evanuris to ensure they never escape.

That's... pretty much it, yeah..

Poking around the Dalish camp brings out some interesting bits of lore as well. Despite ostensibly being the sun god, Elgar'nan is remembered for fighting and winning a war against the sun.

According to legend, Elgar'nan was the son of the earth and sun. However, the sun grew jealous of the earth's love for Elgar'nan and lashed out, destroying all the creatures of the earth. Elgar'nan retaliated, attacking the sun. They fought until Elgar'nan tore the sun from the heavens and cast it into a deep abyss.

With the sun's defeat, the sky was left blanketed in shadow, with only shimmering twinkles of the sun's blood dotting the sky. Elgar'nan basically invented night by kicking the sun's ass.

While this is obviously the distortion of mythmaking, it certainly does explain why his Archdemon Lusacan is known as the Dragon of Night by Tevinter.

(Of note: The elves are spirits who assumed corporeal form. The Maker allegedly created the spirits and the Fade first, then went on to create the corporeal world. Elven legend says Elgar'nan ripped his father from the heavens and buried him in the earth. The Maker, if he exists, is missing for reasons unknown. Is this something? IDK.)

All in all, hanging out with the Dalish is fascinating when you know the context behind their legends.

[aristocrating]

I kind of don’t know how I feel about Jack and Bitty being endgame? That’s my hot take. Like, idk if I want Jack or Bitty ending up with anyone else, but idk if I want them ending up with each other either???? Idk. Maybe it’s got something to do with Bitty’s inexperience in the dating scene.

i'm not gonna be beating the allegations that i sent this to myself, thanks anon lmaooooo

you are right and you should be saying it.

let me preface this by saying: i GET what people see in zimbits. from the angle of the wholesome ending, sure, absolutely. let them be cute together if it sparks joy for you.

howEVER, i personally am a big fan of jack's angsty side. it's what drew me to the comic (it's even what made me want to see zimbits initially), and i am jack zimmermann's biggest fan for the sole reason that he is a mess of a person. the jack that intrigued me would be a HORRIBLE first boyfriend for bitty. because you are right, bitty's inexperience is a huge factor in this.

i read jack as being trapped in this perpetual cycle of isolation and over-attachment. he had his thing with kent, then isolated himself for many years, then came out of his shell at samwell and immediately grafted himself onto bitty's hip. at the same time, he also demands bitty to keep their relationship secret. bitty, who just came out to his teammates 1.5 years ago, comes from a conservative homophobic environment and has, as far as we're told in the comic, not had any great dating experiences while at samwell (which could be its own entire post, stay tuned ig)

as the biggest jack zimmermann fan under the sun, i am convinced that bitty -- yes bitty -- deserves better. i used to run a queer youth group in my area and there's a lot of young queer folks out there who come from conservative backgrounds and take YEARS to unlearn all the internalized bullshit, find out who they even are, and only then are really able to properly integrate themselves into their queer community. bitty, from what we see in the comics, never really goes through any of this process.

so getting together with the first closet case he can find (after having that guy yell at him for a year, then living for a year in fear of crushing on a straight guy) just kind of makes me feel bad for him. if we're taking what the comic gives us at face value, i don't think they're that good for each other.

i would LOVE to have seen the process of them figuring it out, then i probably would've been more on board with the ship, but the comic was never going to have the means to deal with all of this, so it just falls flat for me. personally. i see what the comic was getting at, it just didn't do it for me. it doesn't scoop me up, as we say in german. ("holt mich nicht ab")

as far as this being a hot take. *looks at my crowd of jack/kent mutuals* hmmmm, 7/10?

🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

PS: anyways if you want sports drama featuring deeply traumatized and horrible people, @fanartshmanart got me into All For The Game, which hits a lot of the marks i wish check please wouldve hit in regards to jack, bitty and kent

edit: for added context, the zimbits kiss was huge for me when it happened, but now looking back on it im just kind of like... eh

[cutekittenlady]

Oh obvious question that I don't think I've actually seen anybody ask? How long has Ingo been in Hisui? The most common answer seems to be like three or five but I've seen longer and shorter so I'm just kinda curious what other people's answers are. I think good options are like 1, 3, 5, 7, 10, 10+. Sorry if I'm being too specific or dictate-y, I don't have a tumblr and I've just been dying to know.

It really depends on the idea, but I tend to go with Ingo being in Hisui for around 10 years or so.

The way I see it it breaks down into the following points.

Ingo looks physically older and while that can be chalked up to stress or even the idea that he fell through time later in life, I still think it's a point worth considering. Between the bags under his eyes, his hunching shoulders, and his hair loss I think we're looking at the combination of natural aging and stress. Of course, I don't consider him elderly. I mean, the youngest Id be willing to buy is maaaaybe in his late 30s if he's a victim of early onset male pattern baldness, but I honestly think he's more likely in his early 40s bare minimum.

Ingos position in the pearl clan is a decent argument that's he's been there for awhile in my opinion. I don't think most of the clan would've been cool with an outsider as a warden if Ingo hadn't first spent a looong time being the helpful resident weirdo and consistently proving he kicks ass (in pokemon battling). I mean, he'd have had to prove he was trustworthy, contributed to the village significantly by learning skills and doing work, building up connections, learning the religious and cultural traditions of the clan, and of course training up a team tough enough that the pearl would've let him become warden. A lotta folks get around this by headcanoning that sneasler picked Ingo herself, but while that's a cool idea and I love it, there's no guarantee that's what took place or even if it would have been enough to get him the job.

This points tied in with the second one in the fact that Ingo wasn't exiled alongside the MC in the game. Now a lot can and has been said about that particular plot point, but it remains that the whole reason the MC gets thrown out is because at the time of the endgame it had been, at most, a year and even if they did all that stuff they still hadn't been around long enough to not be considered a stranger. The fact that we never hear anything about Ingo getting exiled says to me that he's been a member of the pearl clan long enough to not catch any of the same suspicion.

And finally, I just straight up think it makes for a more interesting concept. I mean Ingo being in Hisui for so long is sad, yes, but it opens a lot of very fun and interesting possibilities surrounding regaining his memories, going back to Unova, reuniting with his brother, etc. One of my fave ideas that I rarely see explored is the idea that all the time travel creates an age difference between the twins. I like the particular flavor of Ingo REALLY becoming Emmets big brother and how that potentially changes their dynamic. Or the concept of lost time; when exactly does Ingo get sent back? How much time does he lose or gain? What are the consequences of this?

Tbh I feel like folks are resistant to the idea of I go being older because they don't particularly favor angst and this idea is just too sad. Which, fair strokes, is fine. This is fandom after all. Id be lying if I said my views on this aren't heavily influenced by what I think would be fun to write/read. But it really doesn't have to be all angst. Ingo coming to terms with his time displacement and still appreciating all the friends and connections he made in Hisui, can be a beautiful way to explore the story.

But anyway I wrote this on a phone at 4 am so sorry if it's incoherent.

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

"deuxmoi posted that evan/haley ''cooled off'' due to evan traveling/working. there's no source for this, just them posting it lol"

But, wait a second. From the first moment Deuxmoi said they were together, you always believed them (beyond the tik tok sightings). And now that Deuxmoi says that things have cooled off between them, you don't believe them?

The reality is that we don't know how serious everything was (beyond the fact that Evan's sister followed her). Because if we go by the follow, she's still following Emma and Halsey. And Evan is not still following them.

Like I always say, time will tell. We'll have to wait.

I don't understand why they make a lot of drama over Haley (beyond my opinion of her).

i don't know if when you say ''you always believed them'' you are directly referencing me, but if you are.. i think you must have missed some key conversations that have been had over the course of these past few months. i understand that some unscrupulous people surmise that since i believe evan/haley have been dating, i must have come to this conclusion as a result of blindly believing in the ~*all-knowing deuxmoi*~, but that is not the case. never has been, and i am far too knowledgeable about the celebrity gossip world to do that lmfao i have always said that folks need to be discerning and understand that deuxmoi is a gossip site. if we want to get to the nitty gritty, the most reliable haley/evan information we have received outside of the photo deuxmoi posted of them together has come from twitter, not deuxmoi. so let's trash that misleading narrative.

i have probably said the same thing 100 times - essentially, time will tell. let things play out as they will. no one is marrying evan off, asserting haley is his endgame, and no one is claiming to be in bed with the two of 'em. this is a discussion blog and we're all allowed to have our own opinion on the matter, but anyone who has their panties in a bunch over their love life only feels that way because they're jealous the single celebrity they've been enjoying a parasocial relationship with (evan) just shattered their fantasy, and now they have to come up with a rebuttal to every fact or theory that negates their made-up scenario that evan peters is going to meet and fall in love with them. i have tried to be genuinely understanding of the otherwise sweet, kind-hearted folks who have struggled with this news, but i have no patience at all for the petulant children who act out like toddlers who had their toy taken away from them.

SIDE NOTE: i really, really want people to stop thinking of deuxmoi as this mystical figure in the night roaming around hollywood to gather up gossip. i have said this over and over, please understand that deuxmoi is not a singular person, who exists like a tree with branches all across hollywood. deuxmoi operates based on reader submissions. you saying ''you believe deuxmoi'' is like saying ''you believe twitter''. twitter is made up of users. millions of users. yes, some users on both platforms have posted information that is credible. some beautiful users like tumblr mystery girl have also misused the platform to lie. this is the nature of it. use good judgment and you won't get caught slippin'.

[castlebyersafterdark]

perhaps you don't want to speak about mike x el here, but as a gay man in the fandom, can you speak a little on your opinion of how that relationship was set up and played out? was it expected for you as a het relationship, did you find it intriguing or cliche, sweet or boring before byler became clearer? after you started realising byler was a real possibility, what did you think of mike x el in retrospect both in the show and for the show as a work of art in modern culture?

+ sometimes when i've seen takes defending queer stories against anti-woke people, some folk have even said that queer people have been 'putting up with' straight stories for decades and are just as sickened by them as homophobes are with queer stories. i'm interested if this is a defensive slap back or an actual truth for many people. do you enjoy a heterosexual love story in the right context? do you think how they are handling this specific love triangle works well as a plot twist and thematic message in ST?

i know its hard to tell cos its open ended but just in terms of where we're at now, i would love a gay man's opinion on this classic trope of superhero girl x 'straight' nerd boy and his gay bestie.

I'm down for talking about anything and everything here! I havent gotten anything yet I won't address haha. Mike/El is an important aspect of the show even if I don't support the ship or want (or think) it will be endgame.

I guess when I first watched the show I was honestly a very casual fan and even though I really liked Mike, the mike/el relationship just seemed like a typical little thing s1/2 and it didn't really mean much to me. Like it was fine, it was minimal and kinda cute I guess? I honestly was pulling for Joyce/Hopper from the beginning because one, Winona is such an icon and part of the draw when I heard about the show. Always loved her. And I had (have) a huge thing for David Harbor so I was really hoping they got together in the show. I guess this answers your question if gay guys care about straight ships - of course we do! At least I do. I care about 'story telling' and I just want more story telling in media that reflects more than just straight love stories. (I was also so shocked and blown away with excitement about Robin's reveal in s3 - tons of love for the gay ladies as well!! It was very exciting when the show added that.) So yes, of course I'm latching onto gay ships in fandom and really pulling for them playing out for real in the media itself. (For another instance, I love Jonathan/Nancy in the actual show, but I only read Jonathan/Steve fics. Just for fun! I don't really 'ship' them. I like the idea but not for the show. If that helps explain my mindset?)

For comparison to another fandom (I've since ditched) - Marvel. I liked SteveBucky because it made sense and the subtext was there, but I knew the MCU are cowards. I liked SteveTony because the dynamic was interesting to read in fic. I liked SteveThor because hot superhero dudes fucking is hot. (Sweet Steve Rogers, what a 🚲 hahaha). And then I liked ClintNatasha because they were in love and should have been together. For me, it's always half storytelling, half fandom fun.

Until season 4 threw me into a tailspin, MikeEl was just... boring and I didn't really care? But what they did with Mike and Will s4 was eye opening and exciting and it'll honestly be a huge disappointment and a deeper conversation about terrible rep and storytelling choices over how they wrote this love triangle if the worst comes to pass. A gay kid's trauma and feelings to prop up this generic and boring and very cliched pair of MikeEl? They aren't a game changer, they aren't really something to root for at this point? I do feel some sort of way knowing the potential for a Byler reveal is considered a plot twist. Wish a gay love story wasn't a shock factor, but society hasn't gotten there yet so, it is what it is unfortunately and this is a major mainstream show so... it is shocking. But I'll feel so proud for them having depicted this amazing story. Really gotta wait and see how they build and reveal season 5. I want to trust them! With a very beautiful slow burn. Otherwise.... so much to unpack.

[lowtaxsa]

Disney's Marvel's Avengers (2008 to Too fucking long)

Alright, folks, buckle the fuck up, because we're about to dive headfirst into the steaming pile of cow dung that is Disney's Marvel's Avengers. If you've ever wanted to experience the cinematic equivalent of getting repeatedly punched in the face while riding a roller coaster through a landfill, then boy, have I got a treat for you. With a runtime that feels like a never-ending descent into madness, this so-called "franchise" is nothing more than an amusement park ride designed for those who crave the sweet, sweet embrace of childish fantasy indulgence and bootlicking dick-suckery.

So, let's talk about Endgame and everything that's come after, shall we? But before you think I'm gonna let pre-Endgame off the hook, let me be crystal fucking clear: it's just as bad, if not worse.

First off, the plotlines in this godforsaken franchise are about as coherent as a fever dream fueled by bathtub gin and expired cold medicine. It's like the writers got together, threw a bunch of comic book pages into a blender, and called it a day. What's that? You want a cohesive narrative? Well, tough shit, kiddo, because you're getting a never-ending parade of two-dimensional characters and plot twists so predictable, even a blind, deaf, and dumb chimp could see them coming a mile away.

And speaking of characters, holy hell, where do I even begin? It's like a who's who of forgettable nobodies, each one more bland and interchangeable than the last. There's Tony "I'm a billionaire but can't figure out how to use a razor" Stark, Steve "I've got the personality of wet cardboard" Rogers, and Bruce "I turn into a green rage monster because I didn't get enough hugs as a child" Banner. And let's not forget Thor, the god of lightning or whatever, who apparently can't decide if he wants to be a Shakespearean drama queen or a discount Conan the Barbarian. Oh, and the list goes on and on, like a never-ending nightmare from which there is no escape.

Now, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the one bright spot in this unholy quagmire of mediocrity: Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes, believe it or not, there's actually a movie in this franchise that doesn't make me want to gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon. And before you start thinking I've gone soft, let me assure you that this movie is far from perfect. But at least it's got a sense of humor, a killer soundtrack, and a talking raccoon that could kick Tony Stark's ass from here to Timbuktu.

But let's talk about the real elephant in the room, shall we? Chris "the fat loser millennial who got everything he never deserved in Parks and Recreation" Pratt. I mean, come on, guys. Is this really the best we can do for a leading man? A guy who looks like he stumbled out of a frat house, still reeking of stale beer and regret? If this is what passes for a superhero these days, then maybe it's time to admit that we've truly hit rock bottom.

The special effects in these movies are about as impressive as a middle school science project, and that's being generous. I've seen more convincing CGI in a Geocities webpage from 1998. And don't even get me started on the fight scenes. It's like watching a bunch of action figures being smashed together by a hyperactive toddler, complete with the requisite grunting and shouting. Real compelling stuff, guys. Bravo.

The dialogue is a whole other level of awful. I mean, seriously, who writes this drivel? It's like they hired a team of angsty teenagers to cobble together a script using nothing but catchphrases and outdated pop culture references. Every time one of these cardboard cutout characters opens their mouth, it's like being assaulted by a barrage of clichés and cringeworthy one-liners. I wouldn't be surprised if the entire writing process consisted of throwing darts at a board covered in buzzwords and hoping for the best.

And let's take a moment to discuss the villains, shall we? These so-called "threats to humanity" are about as intimidating as a wet fart in a crowded elevator. I mean, we've got a guy with a purple chin who wants to wipe out half the universe because he's got some kind of cosmic OCD, a robot with an emo haircut and a God complex, and whatever the hell that dark elf thing was supposed to be. It's like the writers just gave up halfway through and decided to throw in the towel. The final boss? Yeah he's, uh, purple - like Barney the Dinosaur purple, and uhh... he's got a fucked up chin. And he's like a billion Hitlers!

Don't even get me started on the endless parade of sequels, spin-offs, and shameless cash grabs that have been spawned by this monstrosity. It's like a hydra: every time you think you've finally killed it, two more heads sprout up in its place. And just when you think it can't possibly get any worse, they announce yet another movie, TV show, or godforsaken theme park attraction to further milk this bloated, festering cash cow. Can anyone tell me who the intended audience for "She-Hulk: Attorney at Law" is? Because I can't see anyone with a functioning cortex going for that, and I'm pretty sure humans need to have functioning cortices to turn on the TV. Yeah, I'll wait - I'm already dead, so I can wait for fucking ever.

Now, you might be wondering: why am I even bothering to write this review? Well, it's simple, really. I've made it my mission to expose the truth about Disney's Marvel's Avengers and its insidious stranglehold on popular culture. Because, let's face it, folks: we deserve better. Or not, but I actually don't give a fuck about that part I think.

Well, buckle up, kiddos, because now we're gonna dive headfirst into the steaming pile of horse manure that is Avengers: Endgame. That's right, the "grand finale" of the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe – or at least, that's what they want you to think. In reality, it's just another bloated, overstuffed, self-indulgent exercise in corporate greed and creative bankruptcy. But hey, at least it's three hours long, right? That's gotta count for something! And to think, that's roughly the same amount of time it takes for Tony Stark to go through his morning narcissism routine.

Let's start with everyone's favorite smug, snarky billionaire: Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. You know, the guy who basically started this whole mess in the first place. Over the course of the series, Tony's gone from a charming, if somewhat insufferable, genius playboy to... well, basically the same thing, only now he's got a shiny suit of armor and a seemingly endless supply of daddy issues. In Endgame, we're supposed to believe that this self-absorbed, egotistical man-child is suddenly willing to sacrifice himself to save half the universe? Give me a break. Then again, it's probably the only way he could get people to stop talking about how his ego is bigger than his tower.

I mean, come on, have you ever met a Silicon Valley CEO? These guys wouldn't lift a finger to help anyone unless it boosted their stock prices or got them a glowing profile in Forbes magazine. And yet, we're expected to swallow this ridiculous narrative about Tony Stark nobly giving his life for the greater good, like some kind of high-tech martyr? Wouldn't he outsource the giving his life part to a Lithium miner in Bolivia? It's enough to make you want to vomit, and not just because of the terrible dialogue. Seriously, I've seen more believable sacrifices in a kindergarten play about the first Thanksgiving.

Speaking of terrible dialogue, let's take a moment to appreciate the sheer ineptitude of the script. I've seen high school plays with more coherent storylines and better character development than this cinematic monstrosity. The plot is so convoluted and nonsensical you really get to appreciate the comic book salad puree they serve with every fucking movie in this "franchise." Time travel? Sure, why not. Quantum realms? Throw it in there. An intergalactic scavenger hunt for magic space rocks? Hell, it worked for the last movie, didn't it? This script is so bad, I'm pretty sure it was written on the back of a cocktail napkin during a drunken game of Mad Libs.

And don't even get me started on the "humor" in this film. It's like they took all the worst jokes from a Reddit thread, translated them into another language, and then translated them back into English using Google Translate. Every attempt at levity falls flatter than a pancake, leaving you cringing in your seat and praying for the sweet release of death. Honestly, I've heard better jokes at a funeral, and at least those had the decency to end quickly.

But hey, let's not forget the "action" – if you can even call it that. The big, climactic battle at the end is such a chaotic, CGI-laden mess that it's nearly impossible to tell what's going on. It's like watching someone play a video game on the highest difficulty setting while simultaneously suffering from a seizure. And, of course, it all culminates in the most predictable, clichéd way possible: the heroes save the day, the bad guy gets his comeuppance, and everyone goes home happy. Well, everyone except the audience, that is. At this point, I'd rather watch two squirrels fighting over an acorn than sit through another second of this CGI dumpster fire.

Now, before I wrap up this long-winded rant of mine, I think it's important to give some well-deserved "credit" to the masterminds behind this mess. You know, the ones who are really to blame for dragging us all down into this quagmire of mediocrity. Let's take a moment to appreciate the fine work of the producers, writers, and directors who've made this delightful train wreck possible.

I mean, let's start with the producers, shall we? The Russo brothers, Anthony and Joe, who seem to have made it their life's mission to churn out these cookie-cutter superhero flicks with all the depth and nuance of a kiddie pool. I mean, sure, they directed some episodes of Community, so clearly they've got the chops to handle an overblown, self-important franchise like the MCU, right? And let's not forget Kevin Feige, the puppet master pulling the strings behind the scenes, raking in the cash while gleefully pushing out more and more of these shallow, formulaic movies like some sort of capitalist assembly line. I can practically hear him cackling as he counts his billions, completely unconcerned with the damage he's doing to the cinematic landscape.

Then we've got the writers – Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely – who somehow manage to take fascinating characters with rich comic book histories and reduce them to one-dimensional caricatures. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if they just threw darts at a board full of tropes and clichés to come up with their scripts. "Oh look, it landed on 'heroic sacrifice' – let's just shoehorn that in there somewhere!" They've managed to create a world where every character's dialogue sounds like it was ripped straight from a bad action movie from the '90s, and nobody seems to care because, hey, at least there's a big explosion every five minutes.

As for the directors, the Russo brothers (yes, them again), they've managed to take all the worst aspects of Hollywood elitism and distill it into a single, bloated franchise. It's as if they're completely oblivious to the fact that there's an entire world outside of their insular bubble of wealth and privilege, a world where people actually have to deal with real problems like poverty, inequality, and systemic injustice. Instead, they just keep pumping out these overproduced, self-indulgent spectacles that pander to the lowest common denominator, all while patting themselves on the back for being such "visionaries." It's enough to make you want to grab a pitchfork and storm the gates of their Hollywood mansions, just to remind them that there's more to life than CGI explosions and witty one-liners.

So, there you have it, folks: the creative "geniuses" behind Disney's Marvel's Avengers, a team of Hollywood elitists and ruling class bootlickers who seem to think that their sole purpose in life is to cram as much mindless, soul-crushing entertainment down our throats as humanly possible. And you know what? They're probably right – because as long as we keep shelling out our hard-earned cash for this swill, they're going to keep shoveling it right back at us, one terrible movie at a time. But hey, at least we can take solace in the fact that even they can't keep this train wreck going forever... right?

Now, I could go on for another thousand words about the myriad problems with Avengers: Endgame – the paper-thin characters, the nonsensical plot twists, the complete and utter lack of originality – but honestly, what's the point? We all know that this movie is a steaming pile of garbage, and no amount of snarky commentary or sarcastic quips can change that. So, instead, I'll leave you with this simple plea: for the love of all that is good and holy in this world, stop giving your hard-earned money to these soulless corporate shills. Disney's Marvel's Avengers is a never-ending cavalcade of craptastic cinema that should be avoided like the plague. If you want to waste your time and money on this mind-numbing dreck, be my guest. But don't say I didn't warn you. And as for me, I'll be over here, mourning the death of creativity and originality in modern filmmaking while I drown my sorrows in a bottomless pit of despair and cheap whiskey. Cheers, fuckers.

Lowtax's Score: Plot: -10 Acting: -9 Special Effects: -8 Directing: -10 Music / Sound: -6 Overall: -43 Each category in the rating system is based out of a possible -10 score (-10 being the worst). The overall score is based out of a possible -50 score (-50 being the worst)

[fantastic-nonsense]

please tell us what this namesake comic is

oh rip, I'm sorry for getting abruptly re-obsessed without explaining a single thing to you all. Namesake (which you can read here) is a fairy tale fantasy webcomic created by Megan Lavy-Heaten and Isabelle Melançon:

You can find better overviews and plot synopses here and here, but basically Namesake is about this girl named Emma who discovers that she's a "Namesake," someone who can visit other worlds via the power of their name (all Dorothies go to Oz, all Wendys go to Neverland, all Alices go to Wonderland, etc). Unfortunately, Emma accidentally portals herself to Oz after a library fire (yes, that Oz), where people obviously assume she's a Dorothy.

The first arc (Emma's attempt to return home from Oz while her younger sister Elaine is picked up by Calliope, Earth's resident organization to help Namesakes on their journeys and record their stories) sets up this massive magical conspiracy that uh...tl;dr involves the multiverse, mysterious magical forces called "Muses," a secret villainous organization, and the end of the universe.

It's also got a frankly massive cast of absolutely delightful characters:

The core Earth protagonist cast includes Emma Crewe, her younger sister Elaine, her best friend Ben, and former Namesakes Wendy, Alice, and Jack. The rest of the core cast includes magical twins Warrick and Selva Chopper (from Oz) and Fred (a former card solider from Wonderland) along with our resident villains: the Rippers, led by the mysterious man known only as "One."

It's basically the only webcomic I keep up with on any regular basis and the chapter that's currently being published is making me want to go re-read it from the beginning, which I haven't done since I first read it back as a senior in high school....on reflection, the fact that I've been reading this comic for 8 years is pretty wild (Chapter 17 had just started then; we're now on Chapter 33, the beginning of the endgame arc, and the comic is...I think...scheduled to be somewhere between 40-45 chapters).

10/10, highly recommend for the ridiculously complex plot, delightful characters, beautiful art, lots of LGBTQ rep, and tons of fairy tale and folklore deepdiving. As Isa once put it, the comic is "ideal for folks who love awesome ladies, swordfights, magical conspiracies, romance, and Cheshire Cats."

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

if you're still in the mood to ramble, thoughts on peggysous? full disclosure, i havent seen agent carter, but i've seen ppl talk about it and how sousa was pretty misogynistic (but grew as a person or something idk) and then after endgame it was like "steve ruined peggysous! the horror" which 🙄 anyway

Hi! Whoo hoo, okay. *cracks knuckles* Strap in, everybody.

I've touched on pieces of this here and there over time, but let's just get it all in one spot.

Let me preface this all by saying that when I first started the first season of Agent Carter, I liked Daniel. He seemed like a decent dude and clearly had a thing for her, which I was down with and thought could be good for her. Initially. But it became very apparent, very quickly that that was not the case at all. Hell, even after season one I still thought both him and the ship had potential, but the show squandered it, hard.

Because yes, Daniel is a misogynist and arguably one of the worst kinds. The kind that thinks because he isn't screaming slurs or being ~~hateful~~ that that makes him one of the good ones and such a. Nice. Guy. His misogyny is insidious and paternalistic, all wrapped in some "I'm just trying to protect you" nonsense. His respect and niceness is tenuous at best, because he will turn on a dime once he thinks a woman isn't living up to his standards for them, as Peggy herself called him out for here.

And no, he did not grow. Not in AC, anyway. If anything, he became more of a dickbag as the show went on, but we'll get there. I've seen folks say that he did grow as a character once he jumped ship to Agents of SHIELD, but I haven't seen it and I don't want to and given what little I have seen of it, I have my doubts. He still seemed to be on the paternalistic shit, but Daisy was into it, so I guess that makes it alright? Whatever. Not my problem.

Now, since you didn't watch AC, Nonnie, let me give you a quick timeline of how P*ggysous went down. Season one of AC takes place over the course of a few weeks around March or April of 1946, which means it happens about a year after Steve "died." Peggy was not in a good place, obviously. She wasn't even ready to open up to having friendships with people, let alone a romance. During the course of the season, she does open up and get close to Angie Martinelli (a waitress at the diner she frequents) and Edwin Jarvis (Howard's butler), but romance is still not something she's ready for. During the season finale, Daniel asks her if she'd like to get a drink after work, but she politely declines as she already has plans with Angie and Edwin. It's also obvious in the way she smiles once Daniel turns away that she isn't opposed to the idea, it's just not good timing (for many reasons.) But the show very much leaves that door open. Fine, cool.

Season two takes place around July 1947 about six months after Daniel transferred from NYC to California. By the time Peggy arrives there for the case she's investigating, Daniel's with a new girl, Violet (who's lovely, had better chemistry with him, and didn't deserve any of this shit) and he is already planning to propose to her. Yet we're still subjected to multiple characters (especially poor Rose and even Violet) being relegated to mouthpieces for how obviously in love Daniel is with Peggy. Not to mention how the season kicks off with Jack (the SSR’s resident shithead) playing matchmaker by sending Peggy to LA, in the first place. Meanwhile, the only indication of what their relationship was between seasons is a mention of how he refused to answer her calls once he got out to LA. Then the season ends with Peggy's other, better romantic prospect, Jason, leaving the country to work with Howard and Peggy decides to stay in LA and kisses Daniel. And then the show got canceled.

(And per EG and AOS, they broke up some point before 1949.)

Like, what? It's so rushed and so stupid. Both of them had options that were better and made more sense, yet the show still forced this ship. And not only was it pushing this ship hardcore, for some reason, it also made a big deal about how Peggy had to chose between him and Jason, immediately, right now. Despite the fact that the show made it very clear that it was never going to let her pick Jason anyway. Everything about the ship was so sudden and urgent, out of almost nowhere. Yes, the ship was teased in the first season, but it's still remarkable how suddenly it escalated and again, for almost no reason.

It’s not like they had some whirlwind romance off-screen that turned sour or that Peggy was stringing him along, no. Dude asks her out once, she says no (because duh), then literally nothing happens between them for months, but he’s so incapable of dealing with or moving on from his work crush that he fucks off across the country to immediately hook up with some other girl, who he immediately drops once Peggy’s back in the picture. Seriously, fuck this entitled dumbass. I’m not the least bit sad that Marvel broke up this train wreck. The bottom line is this: Agent Carter ruined P*ggysous, not Endgame and certainly not Steve.

And no, despite what many want to claim, Daniel is not Peggy’s Nameless Husband. We are given one piece of information about her husband in TWS, which is that Steve saved him at some point during the war. Maybe AC’s writers intended to go down that route with Daniel, but as of the end of season two and the show as a whole, there is no indication at all that that factoid applies to him.

Even if he was the Nameless Husband that changes nothing for me, because, well, the ship sucks, but also! Different timeline, different rules. Peggy’s allowed to make different choices under different circumstances. And the concern trolls who claim Steve somehow took away her choices and her life? They damn well know that, as evidenced by the fact that no one’s crying over the Captain Carter timelines hurting Daniel or the Nameless Husband, who are apparently oh so entitled to her in the prime timeline. The post-EG fawning over Daniel and worry over the Husband was bullshit from the get-go, but the lack of any of that same concern post-WI or post-MoM confirms what the real problem always was: Peggy can make any and every choice she wants to as long as she doesn’t choose to be with Steve. And I’m sorry, but there’s no way for me to describe that other than fucking bullshit.

(”thoughts on ___” meme)

[i-keepmyideals]

Dabi is Touya

First things first: their similarities.

Their hair is styled in very similar ways. Dabi's bangs fall in nearly exactly the same way Touya's fall. You can look at any character we've seen as a child in the series and can tell their hair doesn't change very much, if at all, as they age

Next are their eyes. Yes, Touya's are much rounder. Of course they are. He looks pretty young in that picture, but I'll get to that later. Manga illustrators portray youthfulness and children with large, round eyes. Still, you can see the corners of Touya's eyes point downward like Dabi's do. For comparison, look at young Bakugo and him now. His eye shaped changed drastically as he got older

My friend was yelling at me early this morning when I was looking at different character's ears and how Natsuo and Touya's are the same shape. Ear shape is based on genetics and Dabi, Natsuo, and Touya have rather round ears. See best boi Natsu here:

Their ears are different from Shouto's and Enji's:

Next is Touya's rather round jawline. Again, children have round faces and that changes as they grow, but Dabi's jawline is still rather round.

(And to be fair, Izuku and Bakugou still have fairly round faces at the ages of 14-15)

There was a theory that I read not too long ago about what may have happened to Touya. I agreed with it completely and the arguments they made against their own theory. Why didn't Shouto really react when Natsu mentioned him? It's been confirmed that Fuyumi is the second oldest sibling. Natsuo is four years younger than her and Shouto is seven years younger. Shouto was raised separately from his siblings and with Touya being the eldest, he probably saw him the least and wouldn't remember him well, if he even saw him at all. Enji did believe that since Touya couldn't use his quirk without seriously harming himself, he was useless. The Todoroki estate is large, he could have been kept far away from the rest of the kids most of the time.

Now to address his age. That is difficult. When we saw Touya, Fuyumi and Natsuo playing in the yard, Touya was undoubtedly the smallest. He has thin arms compared to his siblings and was the shortest despite being the eldest as we learned here:

I'd like to go back to the new picture of Touya. At first glance, you'd think him a young child, elementary school age based on his features. Upon looking closer, I noticed he is indeed wearing a school uniform. In Japan, elementary school students uniforms do not look like that. The coats typically only have a single large button, three larger buttons or have double breasted buttons. Most elementary school uniforms do not button at the neck. What he's wearing looks more like a gakuran uniform with gold buttons which is what we typically see a boy wearing in middle or high school in anime and manga. Sakamoto wears one, the boys in Yu Yu Hakusho wear them and so on. It's a more traditional uniform from what I understand but are a bit more common than the more Western Catholic inspired uniforms we see, which is what the UA uniform is. This implies that he was at least in middle school and could have been 11 at the youngest and 14 at the oldest at the time that picture was taken. Going from that picture, in the shot of them playing, Shouto was 5, Natsuo 9, Fuyumi 13 and Touya 13 if he is Fuyumi's twin and 16 at the oldest. Of course, it is possible Touya went to a private elementary school where young kids also wear this uniform, but I might doubt Enji would send his "failure" children to a school of a higher caliber.

Quirks manifest by the age of four, but the first quirk manifested in a newborn baby. It's not impossible, just unlikely for that to happen too often. Enji stated that at the age of only 20, he felt that he would not be able to surpass All Might. We know he is 46 and Fuyumi is 23. He had Fuyumi when he was about 23 or 24 years old, which means he could have had Touya when he was 20 and shortly after he married Rei. Approximately three years difference between the two siblings, just enough time to see what his first child's quirk would be, if it sufficed and if not, planning for another baby. So, Touya could have been 13 when he "died". Practically everything about Dabi is unknown, but a police report stated he appears to be in his early to mid-20's.

Shouto is 15. Natsuo is 19. Fuyumi is 23. Touya/Dabi would be 26 at the oldest.

What about his height? Again, Enji said Touya was weak. He had his mother's weak constitution. Natsuo said they can't withstand heat very well, most likely because he and Fuyumi inherited her ice quirk but most likely a little weaker than hers. If Touya was born premature, he would be even weaker to fire in addition to having his mother's constitution. My sister is premature and despite being several years older, I am taller. Height is just one thing that can be effected by being born premature, but that isn't always a life long situation. A study by the University of Auckland had stated that by late adolescence, those born premature often catch up to the average height. What age exactly is late adolescence? Between 18 and 20.

Dabi is a lanky boi. He's taller than all of the females in the show and taller than or the same height as a majority of the males, which proves he is about average height. Dabi is taller than Shigaraki. That is clear even if Shigaraki was standing straight, but not by much. Shigaraki is 5'9 or 175 centimeters, and Shouto is 5'9 and 1/4, 176 cm. Hawks is 172 cm or 5'7 and 3/4, but I'll just bump him up to 5'8. Bakugo is also 5'8 and Dabi is definitely at least a couple of inches taller than him.

Natsuo is a bit taller, standing at 5'11 and is definitely taller than Bakugo. He's still taller than his dear big brother, but not by much anymore.

It's all coming together. We're in the endgame now, folks

[lovehatecomics]

[Gif ID: Man of culture meme, but 'woman' replaces 'man' /End ID]

@radioactive-earthshine sorry I'm just now replying to this! I had to get my thoughts organized. I will admit that I need to re-read the new gods comics and I'm adding Rocket's comics to my ever-growing list, SO all of this is mainly a mix of my headcanons with a dash of projecting. Take all of this with the tiniest grain of salt 😅

*ngl, I'm only going full speed ahead after seeing folks say similar stuff regarding Orion asking about Rocket. Which is honestly a relief since I thought it was just me. Plus as my Favorite Character and being a sucker for multi/polyshipping, I'm determined to give Orion as many friends and/or lovers as I want. He can use more relationships in all of their wonderful varieties! This is something I can see Orion appreciating more as he gets older.

Yes, Lightrion is endgame for me bc they have the rest of their lives for their love to continue to change/grow. But I also see them both having a variety of other relationships bc it's not healthy to expect one person to meet all of your needs. I know it's just fiction and not that serious, but still that's how I think about it.

*I agree that New Gods will experience love differently with the main reason being compared to humans, they'd have all the time in the world! For me, I always hc that Orion & Lightray just kinda fall into love and it takes a while for then to actually stop to realize it bc of the intensity of their relationship. Also that Lightray's would have plenty of relationships both platonic and romantic, far more experience, etc.

As long as he's assured about his place in Orion's life, I can see Lightray being delighted when Orion decides to pursue relationships outside of what they have. And with Orion, I always headcanoned he goes for quality over quantity regarding relationships.

*I'm sure this wasn't your intention at all, but I don't think Orion would ever take Noble's place as Amistad's dad. Considering what we were given in YJ during the treaty talks on New Genesis, Orion does value love/family bc he decides to withdraw the request of taking Halo away from their family who loves them. This makes it even better bc this wasn't the fake!Orion/M'Comm who Raquel had spoke with earlier, but we're shown this is something Orion cares about on his own accord. Sadly, Raquel doesn't know this and likely assumes maybe her speaking with him earlier had worked a little. But WE know the truth! I know this is immediately followed with Orion talking about how birthdays/blossoming love/etc isn't important in the grand scheme of things (paraphrasing here), but to be fair everyone else was getting distracted from the task at hand.

Obviously, Orion would have to meet Amistad (Zatanna already knows him) and I know Raquel would be the type of mother to put her child first. He'd also meet Noble, see how they interact and know that Amistad has an amazing father. Sure some days are harder than others, but it doesn't change the fact that Amistad's loved and cared for by his parents. Orion definitely wouldn't be the one to overstep that bond unless given express permission by both Raquel and Noble.

There's no jealousy, no intimidation, no taking over or "I'm the dad now", no pissing contest of who's the "better man", nah none of that nonsense. Honestly, I can see all three of them in a relationship after they talk and realize they're all in agreement that Amistad deserves to be in a loving and supportive enviroment.

*Another hc/slight projection I have for Orion is that he expresses his love non-verbally through action/gestures, or by saying things like "drive safely/make sure you eat today/etc." instead of outright saying "I love you". Not bc "ew, love is for the weak and soft and totally not manly. To express such Girly Emotions would make me less of a man", that's just how Orion is for me. When he does express his love verbally, it's poetic I just know it.

I love Amistad's love taps as his way of showing affection and the thought of Orion receiving his first one brings me joy. Definitely something that would happen when Orion least expects it. And since I'm determined to give Orion as many cat qualities as possible: you know how cats tend to butt their heads against a person/another cat or press into a person's touch? Orion does that, but only with folks he's comfortable with.

*Immortal/Mortal relationships are soooooooo GOOD and painful in that the immortal continues to live on long after the mortals they've had relationships with are gone. I think it's even better for immortals to love mortals they form relationships with all the more and as intensely. Finding beauty in mortals that they themselves may have a hard time seeing.

Listen.... I'm ride or die with Lightrion fr, but when Orion asked about Rocket my immediate reaction was this I'm sorry 😂

[Gif ID: a gif of Eddie Murphy making a variety of expressions like he's been told a juicy secret /End ID]

No, bc why did the show make a point with him asking for Rocket LIKE THAT. HUH? WELL??? I know, I knoooooooow we're all acting a fool about this bc it's just Orion asking for an ally he's worked with (and worked with WELL, might I add) before. Also if anyone deserves to have a new god falling for them, it's Raquel ANYWAY. Like yes 100% a black woman would be capable of pulling a god 💅🏽💅🏽💅🏽