#and yes it is actually 36 seconds between the two i didn't even make it up 😭

[tvuniverse]

#find yourself a man that can do both 🥰

9-1-1 ↳ 3x03 The Searchers

[tyo-mimt]

2/36. @tmnt-event-blog

Every turtle is included in the Turtle Pile.

April could still recall the the first time the turtles tried the turtle pile. They were still tots, toddlers, but it was a comfortable arrangement for sleeping back when they all shared the same room, and even when they all got their own rooms, the turtle pile was still the optimal way to relax as a group.

Even she could see the appeal. Their plastrons fit quite well with the curve of their shells and it helped them share what little heat their bodies produced. It was a flexible arrangement, too, but Raph was usually the one to sit at the bottom of the pile as foundation for the rest. Even then, it never really stopped April from hoping onto the pile of pillow-like turtles from time to time.

It was April's first time in a while since she's been able to visit the guys. Dipping into the new sewer systems (careful not to go back to the old lair), she navigated through the maze-like tunnels, occasionally making several wrong turns before finally arriving upon her a... not unusual scene.

She stifled the amused chuckle bubbling in her throat as she spoke up, grabbing their attention, "When y'all made Sunita and me help lug a five hundred pound couch all the way down here, did you plan on actually using it?"

"What d'you mean? We do use it," Leo responded, not even looking up from his comic. He was sandwiched somewhere between Raph and Donnie.

"Right... All of you are on the floor using Raph as a pillow," April pointed out.

"Yes, that's because Leo and I started on the couch," Donnie looked up from his phone, pointing to the booth on the side.

"But then Mikey walked in for pizza pockets," Leo continued.

"Then Raph tried to get us all to train," Mikey, who was finger-doodling on his tablet on the very peak of the pile, resumed.

"And then they all tackled Raph," Raph concluded, "That was an hour before you came in."

"You didn't try to get them off?" April asked.

"You've turtle-piled before, April," Raph tilted his head, "Raph's not getting up until everyone else does."

"Because ya can't?"

"Because Raph can."

Hilarious mental image of the turtles flailing about in the air as Raph gets up aside, she raised her hands in surrender and walked over to the group.

"Then I hope you won't mind my introduction to the pile," She grinned. With little effort, Leo moved side to let April sit on the snapping turtle.

"He couldn't even refuse if he tried," Leo returned the grin with a coy one of his own. She sat on a blunt curve of his pointy carapace, her back to the slider's side.

"Raph wouldn't!" He asserted.

"Right, right, I trust ya, big guy," April smiled, giving Raph a pat on the head as she pulled her phone out. Time went on, and she easily could've spent the whole night in that lair somewhere on the literal tower of turtles. She texted Donnie occasionally about the events of her week (even if they were literally a Leo away from each other).

One-by-one, five turned to four (with Donnie taking a sleeping Mikey to his room before coming back), four turned to three (with Donnie wanting to get started on a new project as soon as possible), then three turned to two (with Leo finishing his second reread of his Jupiter Jim comic).

It left April taking up the full length of Raph's plastron, where he'd fallen asleep as the night went on. She laughed quietly to herself when she noticed, rolling onto her stomach to check on him. For a moment, she debated waking Raph up, but she seldom ever spent time with the guys nowadays. She pulled her mom's contact up, drafting a quick message on her sleepover with some old friends.

[dany36]

actually i need to talk some more about the ch 11 ending and human milla/milla maxwell because this game just stabbed me in the heart over 36 times and i still have 5 chapters to go so i won't be able to hold on until i do my usual junk thoughts post at the end.

GOD. WHAT AN AMAZING CUTSCENE. Dare I say the best cutscene in the history of tales games?? I just...can't deal with all of the emotions it handed to me at once. from Elle being such a fucking sweetheart trying to protect Milla by hitting rideaux with her sword, to Milla's heart-wrenching scream of "Please! Look after Elle!" before she sacrifices herself, to everyone's lovable badass Lord of Spirits Milla Maxwell's incredible return to the action...like...WHAT THE FUCK!!!! AAAAAA now THIS is how you write a damn cutscene!!!

FIRST OF ALL, when the game introduced fractured milla, of course i was happy to see A Milla in the game!!! Milla has become one of my all-time favorite video game characters so the fact that we got to see her again was fucking wonderful!! obviously I quickly realized how different this Milla was from Milla Maxwell, but I honestly liked her?? i'm glad we saved her from the fractured dimension she was in because holy shit she just looked so vulnerable in front of fractured muzet!! once she joins your party you realize she is much more charimastic in her own way, her voice conveyed much more warmth than Prime Milla, and of COURSE her relationship with Elle was so cute and sweet!!! Prime Milla's friendship with Elize and Leiah won me over in Xillia 1 but Elle's attachment to Human Milla was so fucking well-done that I just lack the words to express how fucking devastating the follow-up to Milla's sacrifice has been to watch, and to see Elle get so angry with Prime Milla for not being HER Milla is like....AAHHHH THIS IS TOO DAMN GOOD!!!! I HATE IT BUT I LOVE IT BUT I HATE IT!!!

SECOND OF ALL, i was such a naive fool when I got excited to see the title card for chapter 11 and saw that it said "Milla Maxwell" because oh shit!!! The Milla we all know and love from Xillia 1 is FUCKING BACK, BABY!! But NOOOO, of COURSE there can't be two Millas in the prime dimension, I had no fucking idea her "dying" was gonna be so fucking heart-breaking to watch!!! I couldn't even be as happy as I thought I was gonna be upon Prime Milla's return because of what I had just witnessed, but...that's what makes this so damn good, isn't it??? 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔💔 human Milla was just so relatable and the game did such an INCREDIBLE job of having her grow on you as her own character!! she isn't the Lord of Spirits but who the fuck cares?? this Milla was amazing in her own way!! 😭

And can I just say that Milla's voice actress has done a fucking excellent job in this game?? I noticed the difference in her voice between Human Milla vs Prime Milla right away, it's insane!! like, as soon as Prime Milla spoke, I got...a bit sad because that warmth and charisma from Human Milla was gone, but then I was like...yep...that's Milla Maxwell alright... 🥺😭

it's a bit weird to see that your affinity level of Human Milla carries over to Milla Maxwell, especially 'cus I just did Milla's ch 3 story and it really does feel like you're starting over in terms of getting her trust. even though she DOES say that when she was in the dimensional abyss she dreamt of the Human Milla and Ludger and the rest, but....idk idk human Milla you will never be forgotten!!! ;_;

ALSO THANK YOU NAMCO for including a small skit of Elize being happy to see Prime Milla again and Milla saying that she looks as good as ever. LIKE YES ELIZE AND MILLA BESTIES FOREVER 😭

and lastly...Elle. Elle you beautiful adorable little girl you must be protected at all costs. i must admit i didn't care much for her at the beginning of the game and found her...kind of...annoying lol. but wow once again good job namco for her character development because if ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ELLE I WILL GO ON A KILLING SPREE!! she's suffered enough!!! FIRST with her dad being missing and now Human Milla!!! AUUGHHHHADLJFALDKJFL

well, enough xillia 2 for today. i need some time to recover from this heartbreak. ;(

[airsllides]

airsLLide No. 98: N1799U, McDonnell Douglas DC-9-31, Republic Airlines, Detroit-Metropolitan, April 23, 1985.

You did may well notice that most uploads so-far were of a similar style, displaying some long-gone airplane in an angle and shot as clean as possible. I do myself sometimes regret that I didn't make more "artistic style" shots in those days this blog focuses on. However, please consider and bear in mind two things: First and foremost, for one roll of 36 slides, including processing and framing, the cash register in 1985 would have rung-up some USD 10-18 (then equal to CHF 16-30 in my local currency), and going on a two-week phototrip usually ment packing 40-60 rolls. So each frame taken was weighted against its price tag as well as the quickly dwindling supplies. And secondly, the scene of aviation photographers back then had very clear rules on what kind of shots were acceptable for collecting, trading, or publishing in dedicated magazines: The airplane had to be shot full-frame, between 3/4 front to a right angle from the side, it had to be backlit and of course totally uncluttered. Some purists even insisted on nothing but shots with a standard 50mm lense taken on the ramp in early morning light or late evening sunshine...

Thus, back in its days, a slide trading fellow spotter or an aviation magazine would probaly have rejected a picture like this cutie of a Republic DC-9, since its front door was open, the airstairs extended, the crew standing around, the light right on the nose, and a van photobombing the picture in the foreground. All these things would've been considered "no-goes".

However, today, I actually love this shot exactly for all these little reminiscences of the past: When did you last board a mainline jet from the ramp, via internal airstairs? When were you greeted on the ground by stylish flight attendants? And when did you last see some workman actually casually smoking a cigarette in the midst of an active airport ramp (yes, take a second look at the man next to the van)?

[isuggestwishcraft]

What would be the acts and weapons that Gregory and Tommy can do in battle at dark world?

Well, if we already touched the gang in the dark world, despite it not really being "canon" per se, let's talk about it a bit

So you see, my formula for the dw design is a mix between deepest desire and life experience. By that logic, Gregory got cool glamrock-style costume with a bit of alterations for human use (que not being just one piece of clothing or a stuffy mess), and Tommy got, uh. Not really war-themed suit, definitely not l'manberg uniform (god knows there are too many), but rather something a bit more... casual? It's still has this "I'm from the army's front" vibe, mind you, but instead of coat being on him, it's tied around his waist; white shirt doesn't sit on him perfectly, — it's long sleeves rolled up to elbows and collar being open ajar, — and remember that flower crown I mentioned long time ago? Yeah, but it's a single flower now, behind his ear, a yellow rose to be exact-

And I rambled about his design, huh. Well then, back to topic

Their weapons and their armour!

They both prefer not use any, and I mean any weapons unless necessary. Tommy just doesn't like the familiar weight in his hands, that being a battle axe, and Gregory thinks that the less people know of your weapon the better it is. (Actually he just didn't decide what weapon to use. He might like Ralsei's scarf technique tho...)

Toms also can use both swords and axes, he has fought with and against them both after all

Armour, on the other hand, is just a little funny. Y'know how it really just represented by some important item on them, yeah?

So, one time at Parts and Services Gregory stole borrowed one of spare Freddy's hats, and yes, in became his armour in the dark world. It's a little on the side of his head and no one really knows why it doesn't fall off

Can be changed with variations of "fancy hat" and "glamorous hat"

For Tommy, I can't decide between disc earings or a compass, or something else entirely. It's just so many choices....

.... Anyway-

— For humans can't use magic, no magical shenanigans can be made! The max'll be Tommy, giving or throwing a potion or two, which is doable through inventory and unrecoverable after use. It's an item, not an ability

Other than that, the ACT button stays the same as Kris'... With a bit of strange bonuses

Tommy

Tommy has a a passive which I'd love to call "pet all the mobs", and basically it gives him a boost to the pet act, if he has one in the fight. It doubles gived % off of it, and if Kris while petting gets, say, 15%? Tommy gets all 30%, and if petting doesn't earn any recruit points normally, he will make from 1% to 3% despite that

His second passive is extended inventory. As the name suggests, it gives him +16 slots for stuff not including trinkets and weapons/armour, rounding it up to normal Minecraft 36 inventory slots (I think originally it's about 20?? Right???)

Semi-active Tommy's ability "rage for the fallen" (can be found in the party menu), and what it does is, if any other party member had been hurt enough to fall, it makes Tommy attack the enemy on the same move as it happens. No matter what. If he's fallen himself, the next time he gets up he attacks. (It's a one time thing through the battle, so if it happened once it will not happen twice. He just- kinda needs a reminder that no one really dies here, for all his ptsd)

Gregory

Gregory gets an acting ability to threaten people to comly willingly (which is labelled "threaten") and he's a little too proud of the fact; but that will not recruit the darkner he threatens. In fact, it will be almost like scaring off them by fighting, but without the actual violence (not physical at least) with about 50% of success, and it will lower the more the ability is used

Gregory's semi-active is interesting though — it lets him dodge enemy's attack even if the attack itself hits the Player, once per round. Called "lucky superstar", and also can be found in the party menu. It's a 100% chance with full hp, 50% chance on 80% of hp and higher, and around 15%-20% chance on any other hp. So unless Player's really straight up swimming in bullets, Gregory will not get hurt at all

Despite the kid not having a second passive ability like his Big Bro Tom, he has a full-time active! And it's a switch between the yellow and red Soul, which IS powerful, even if for a short time (5 shots to be exact, can be used once per two moves). Player as a little heart is unstoppable now

Kris might be a little jealous, because hey! They didn't get the cool stuff man! Then Player reminds them that they are literally the only existing key to this world and they're like Oh Right

Aaand that's about it. Man do I love talking about mechanics, eh?

[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to RunBTS: 112-121

Yes, I'm still doing these! It's just happening more slowly than I'd like because writing for work + writing fic + trying to go to bed before midnight + so much amazing content being released that clearly must be poured over and dissected = less time to make guides. For anyone still with me, he's the next section!

Ep 112 “Dalbang School Part 1” (Ep: 5 / KM: 4)

The ones with BTS in a classroom driving Teacher Jin insane

5:58 - JM declares that he and Taehyung will pair up (by being the first to hug each other in a game), but then when Hobi blows the whistle at 6:38, JK runs over to hug JM before Tae can get to him.

6:58 - Jin asks why JM said he wanted Tae and then hugged JK. JM explains that he didn't hug him, he just found himself in JK's hug as JK cackles in the background.

7:24 - When Jin blows his whistle at the class, JK and JM mirror each other in putting a finger in one of their ears.

7:35 - Teammates JK and JM are immediately on the same page about wanting their team name to be Kim Seokjin. When they have to change it, JM quickly picks up JK's suggestion that they call their team Bang Sihyuk. These don't sound like particularly unique moments, but when you watch it, it just really strikes you how in sync the two of them are in terms of physicality, ideas, and sense of humor.

9:52 - After Jin comments that he heard JM did very well in school, JK adds that JM was the top student. When someone else asks if JM was the best or second-best, JK forcefully reiterates that he was the best student.

12:45 - When they get a question right, JK and JM clasp hands and bump their shoulders together.

13:10 - JM and JK both goof around, speaking in satoori and challenging JHope to a fight of sorts.

13:27 - When Jin repeats that they got the question right, JK and JM do exactly the same as 12:45, but seated this time.

14:22, 14:36, 15:13 - In all three of these moments, JM nearly falls over laughing at something JK did that no one else found anywhere near as funny.

23:36 - When JK says he's good at this game, JM laughs and pokes JK in the chest with a marker.

BEHIND 2:30 - JM takes a selfie of him and JK with his personal phone while they're supposed to be paying attention to Jin.

6:35 - JK cheers on JM and calls him Jimin-ssi when JM announces he's doing well on this spot-the-difference round. When Jimin modifies the brag to say he only found four, JK says "that's still quite impressive."

Ep 113 “Dalbang School Part 2” (Ep: 5 / KM: 4)

4:50 - We all know how JK is when he gets into his "focus" zone, especially in a competitive environment. But here, when JM rather rudely interrupts JK's melodica practice, JK just starts playing around with him and giggles.

7:41 - As RM & JH take their turn, jikook are whispering to each other in the back row.

11:42 - After quickly agreeing on a lunch option, jikook do a high five / handshake thing and then JM says "we think alike" and "we get along pretty well." JK responds "that's exactly it" and the on-screen captions tells us they are a "good match."

22:20 - This is where JK and JM start switching back and forth carrying each other on their backs to get under a limbo stick.

They go again at 23:35, 26:11, and 28:13.

And again at 30:22 and 32:16 and 34:30 because, even though they lost, they want to try to do it again to show that they can as a "matter of pride."

25:00 - JK points something out to JM and then pats his butt.

33:33 - JM announces they lost, and then jikook do another handshake / high five thing.

34:33 - JM does an... interesting pose for the camera where he puts his hand on a bent-over JK's back and smirks.

34:56 - Yet another handshake and JM pats JK on the back when they finally pass the limbo challenge.

BEHIND 5:55 - While examining the limbo setup, JM comments that JK is good at this. JK comes over to give a demonstration and JM watches him be silly with it and says "he's a strange kid" fondly.

6:21 - Another jikook limbo attempt - this one was cut because they did it too easily.

Ep 114 “League of Number One Part 1” (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

The ones where BTS play games with League of Legends world champions

3:55 - After Jimin protests that he shouldn't be out, JK tells his hyung to turn around and face the back.

14:40 - JK fake-boxes JM after losing the hammer game.

18:18 - JK mimics Jimin's BWL intro.

Ep 115 “League of Number One Part 2” (Ep: 2 / KM: .5)

BEHIND

7:05 - JK comes over to check on Jimin's phone to make sure he's actually visible in the selfie the teams take.

Ep 116 “Team-Building Special Part 1” (Ep: 4 / KM: 1)

The ones with random games in that rec room-looking place that are a lot more fun than they sound

22:14 - JM and JK play around with the jump rope during breaktime.

22:26 - JM and JK play around like they're boxing with each other.

BEHIND 5:15 - JK appears to take an interest in watching JM's... back as he moves around acting out potential poses.

Ep 117 “Team-Building Special Part 1” (Ep: 4 / KM: 2)

5:30 - Despite showing pretty much everyone else touching everyone else in the pose guessing game, we don't get a single shot here or in the behind of JK feeling up Jimin. The above photo proves that it happened, though, so definitely side-eyeing the editors, here.

BEHIND 5:35 - JK keeps throwing water bottles when they're supposed to be taking a group photo. Jimin pulls him back next to him and puts an arm around his neck. JK puts an arm around Jimin's shoulders in return.

7:51 - After it's explained that JK is staying late to watch Jin do his penalty, a packed-up Jimin comes over and stands next to JK, waiting until they're done to leave.

Ep 118 “Photo Story Part 1” (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

The ones where BTS play a Samsung-sponsored game involving getting specific pictures while a spy tries to ruin the fun

4:22 - JM appears to direct JK to go punish Tae and pats JK's back when he starts to obey. Something happens that we don't see when the angle changes - next thing we see, JM seems to be pushing JK? JM then giggles at JK pretending to beat up Tae. (After this, JK spins around like a ballerina. Not jikook-related, just adorable.)

29:51 - JK calls Jimin twice without adding "hyung."

32:28 - JM pulls JK along by the wrist. Meanwhile, J-Hope once again mixes up their names.

32:44 - Though there is now a group walking slowly together and he doesn't need to pull him along anymore, Jimin takes JK's hand again.

37:02 - There are a bunch of seats open in the room, but Jimin walks over to sit right next to JK.

BEHIND 5:40 - When JM tries to steal a post-it from JK, JK scolds him in satoori banmal. JM calls him out for not calling him with hyung and JK quickly apologizes (in a way some k-army jikookers have said is like how a married person would respond to their nagging spouse!).

6:09 - JK and JM meet up and JK tells JM he's exhausted. There's a kind of weird moment that I fully admit I may be reading too much into where JK seems to be walking right towards JM, then abruptly stops and turns, looking at the camera, before walking with Jimin in a different direction than he had been heading. Then, JM says he thinks their matching shirts are hilarious and that it's funny they're wearing them for the show.

Ep 119 “Photo Story Part 2” (Ep: 4 / KM: 3)

8:21 - "You are me, I am you" moment: Jimin does a ballet spin the same way JK did in part one.

11:18 - JK is the only one to vote for JM to be able to keep a picture in other than Jin (who has nefarious reasons for doing so).

29:40 - JM goes over to help JK see how many of his photos the spy ruined and almost falls over laughing when it becomes clear it's nearly all of them.

34:21 - JM puts his hand on JK's shaking leg to help calm him (see above photo), but JK is so irritated that it doesn't work like it usually does. Poor bunny!

35:17 - JM pulls at JK's shirt and hand, then folds over his back while trying to get him to confess that he actually lost.

38:24 - JM has a comforting hand on JK's neck when he's acting upset about losing.

38:32 - When it seems like JK is struggling to come up with an ending statement, JM helps prompt him.

BEHIND

0:55 - JK talks about how amazing it is that Jimin found so many cards.

3:51 - When JK is playing with the sequin art on the front of his shirt, JM leans over and starts rubbing on them, too.

5:11 - Jimin tells JK that, if he wins, he's going to make the loser hike Mt. Achasan. JK asks why he's looking at him when he says that and they both laugh. Jimin pats JK's chest and they laugh even harder. Jin and Tae both have "omg, these two" looks on their faces.

Ep 120 “Reply BTS Village Part 1” (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

The ones with a real-life Mafia game inexplicably set in a 1970s village. It's... fairly difficult to follow, but the guys are into it and the outfits are great!

24:40 - Jimin breaks character and laughs when asking JK if he's the culprit.

29:40 - Caption: "The air is undeniably tense between Gamer Jeon and Chief Park." Not explicitly jikook, I just find it funny that the writers seem to be playing with some real life relationships, making sope best friends and jikook have tension that leads to banter...

BEHIND

5:34 - When Jimin is playing with the yo-yo, JK expresses concern that he's going to hurt his fingers (caption: Kook is just worrying for his hyung). Then, JK asks poutily and in banmal if he can play with the yo-yo multiple times and Jimins says no. Like, JK straight-up gives his hyung a command ("let me try that") using informal speech and no one bats an eye!

5:58 - Jimin starts singing a song about an ants. JK watches him. JK initially says to Hobi "look, he's a fool/dummy!" (in banmal again), then starts singing along. He jokes that JM doesn't know all the lyrics and Jimin says back "quiet, you."

Ep 121 “Reply BTS Village Part 2” (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

38:48 - After having asked for it a bunch in the Behind of the previous episode, JK now has Jimin's yoyo.

non-jikook note: At the end of this one, they "time travel" to solve a mystery in Joseon-era Korea and I can't express how badly I want to see that. Please come back to that, Run!

BEHIND 0:58 - Jimin and JK play around accusing each other with exaggerated accents and formality. Jimin comes up behind JK and reaches out to touch his shoulder, but stops when Tae joins them and accuses them of plotting together.

9:05 - When JK says everyone else is so good at acting, Jimin compliments him that he was very funny towards the end.

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 5

[Season 4 here]

Episode 1:

Dean is visibly upset about Cas' death, especially at (6:07), and Zachariah notices. From here on, we have a progressive worse reaction from Dean to each of Castiel's deaths

Dean calls Cas a 'friend', again sounding very upset (8:20)

We also get a parallel between Dean and Sam: "I learned that from my friend Cas, you son of a bitch!" and "I learned that from Ruby." (9:10) ICWAW, this parallel would implicate romantic subtext

Cas comes back, bringing top energy onto Zachariah, and Dean just... checks him out (32:43) [this is a frequent thing by the way, I'm on S10 right now, it is]

Episode 2:

I'm so fuckin sorry but I'm laughing too hard at this: D"God" C"Yes" D"God" C"Yes!" (4:09) guys, don't sex-talk in front of Sam and Bobby

"I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you." (4:54)

Dean gives in to Cas' top energy "Dean, give it to me." (5:53) shit, guys, enough sex-talk

Episode 3:

The 'personal space scene'. Dean, love, if someone is in your personal bubble, and you don't want them there, you don't stand there for 10 seconds while flicking your gaze from their eyes to their lips TWICE (6:04) ICWAW, these scene would be read as full of sexual tension

Dean here compares himself and Cas to Thelma & Louise, from a movie with HELLA lesbian subtext. And the way he looks at Cas for 7 seconds, tongue between his teeth and just... this fucking look (7:37)

You don't look at friends that way. You don't.

"I need your help, because you're the only one who'll help me. Please". (7:58) Cas trusts Dean will help him while no other would, and he is right... also Dean keeps glancing at his lips

The way Dean fixs Cas' tie and collar, so domestic. (10:34) [This will parallel in 10x05 when Dean messes up musical!Castiel's tie for it to be a legit costume.] Also, the whole police station scene is full of Old married couple moments

"There are two things that I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay." And then they were voted best chemestry couple like Bert and Ernie. Just saying. (16:23) "Two, you are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch... let's go."... and Cas just follows Dean like nothing, but later on...

... Cas is beyond terrified at the idea of being intimate with a woman (11:24),

tho he followed Dean with no problem. ... Did... did he think Dean was making an offer?

He chugs down a beer in fear, poor baby

And he is so jumpy I'm dying

Dean admits Cas is the only one who has made him laugh for real in years (20:58), also, shoulder hug, and Cas, who was on the verge of tears a moment earlier, is smiling and comfortable now.

"Don't look at me, it was his idea." (26:57) the look Cas gives Dean, they're so fucking #MARRIED

"Today you're my little bitch." "... What he said!" Dean is impressed and amused by Cas' smugness (and top energy) (31:55) Basically "Well, mark me down as scared and horny!"

Dean understands how Cas feels, and wants to help. He says he feels good with him "I've had more fun with you in the past 24h that I've had with Sam in years... and you're not that much fun." (36:06) Dean doesn't want to be alone, didn't want Cas to leave.

Episode 4:

Dean sounds and looks like a teenager on the phone with their crush, teasing Cas while smiling softly (1:22). Also "I'll just... wait here then." (2:15)

Even as a mortal, Cas stuck with Dean through the apocalypse, living in pain, chugging down drugs, but never leaving Dean's side. Being his second during hunts. Having only each other

And this Cas can recognize this Dean is not his own only by glancing at him for a moment (... by looking at his dick?!) (18:37)

Dean is stunned and concerned about apocalypse!Cas and how his life turned out

Apocalypse!Cas sits like Dean. Aww, they've been rubbing off on each other [yeah, I bet] (22:27)

"I like past you!" and that smile. So sweet and nostalgic (25:35)

This whole scene (23:48). They are so #MARRIED

Dean is concerned about Cas doing drugs, being basically depressed and living like shit (28:03)

Cas saves Dean again. "We had an appointment." "...Don't ever change." and the way they stare at each other (38:49) look at those smiles and how longingly Cas looks at Dean

Episode 8:

Not a destiel moment, but Dean is totally BI: (12:04); "Sure" (12:42); "What makes Dr Sexy, SEXY, is that he wears cowboy boots!" (12:57); and Dean loves cowboys, just saying

Is... is Dean thinking about Cas being pretty? And about the fact that a creepy guy just called his angel 'pretty'? (20:26)

First thing Dean requests Gabe does is to bring Cas back, threatening him

Episode 9:

Dean reacting to Damien and Barnes being a couple is... LOL (36:27) and after that (38:40), he is on his own, fiddling with his keys, smiling to himself. And when Sam asks if he is okay, he responds "Yeah, you know? I think I'm good." while still smiling to himself. Is he happy about an queer man portraying him, about seeing himself in a confident, openly queer man in a relationship? What else could it be?

Episode 13:

Dean gets more and more worried when Cas gets/is hurt (9:45)(38:02). Also, he got Cas a honeymoon suite. Wow. How sweet.

Episode 14:

The phone call scene. The stares, the tension... look at this shit (10:00)

Dean, stop checking out Cas. You're working. But seriously, look at him. He likes his roughness. AND AGAIN WITH THE LIPS STARING (11:02)

Dean and Cas, after being touched by a cherub, stand shoulder-to-shoulder close to each other, in front of a bi-coloured window (13:26-13:33) I MEAN- Also, Dean, you're staring at a naked man's dong... just saying (13:33-13:36)... stop that, be a professional

Is this the first wink Dean gives at Cas? (14:37) for real? With a cherub in the room? Wow.

(16:16) "Where did he go?" "I belive you upset him." Look at Cas during this scene. #MARRIED

Cas asks Dean where his Famine-induced-hunger is, why he seems unaffected by it... and Dean stares at Cas, then the burger he is holding, then back at him, like he has everything he could want right there, in his Baby (29:22)

Episode 16:

... I'm sorry, but... did Cas really have to MOAN Dean's name to get his attention? (5:24)

I believe this is the first time we ever hear Dean say the words "I love you" (14:38-28:09), and he is saying them to Sam. The only other time we hear him say it is to his mother in 12x22. And the only other person he was supposed to say those words to was, in fact, Cas in 8x17. Let that sink in.

"You son of a bitch." Dean's been rubbing off on Cas, and this is not the only line he has picked up from Dean (38:29)

Episode 17:

This is such a sweet scene. Cas is showing himself weak once again, and Dean sympathises with him, reassures him, confides in him. How sweet. (30:17) ICWAW, this would be seen as a romantic bonding moment

Episode 18:

Cas legit looks like an angry wife. Look how pissed he is at Dean (6:19) #MARRIED

This is such a #MARRIED scene, with Cas being pissy at Dean "being a coward". Also "Yeah, you know what? Blow me, Cas!" and his look after that, like "Does... does he actually want me to?" (13:22)

and this is not the last 'sexual invitation' Dean makes Cas. In fact, minutes later...

"Cas, not for nothing, but, the last person who looked at me like that... I got laid. *wink*" ... just... that (17:53). ICWAW, people would believe this was flirtatious, SHAMELESS, teasing

Look at that FULL TOP MODE tho

"I gave everything for you, and this is what you give to me?" (25:28) Cas is not just angry at Dean for giving up on the plan, but for giving up on life, on them. "So you could surrender to them?" (25:17) not "So you can let them win". It could've been phrased that way, but this is not about the angels winning. It's about Dean giving up on them. Cas is 'cause Dean would be selfishly leaving them

Cas starts taking off his tie and... Dean just stares (31:46). Moments later, we find out Cas totally took his shirt off in front of the boys to make the banishing simbol on his chest, and by the way Dean was STARING when it was only a tie, I bet he either gawked or averted his eyes. Either way, GAY

Cas prefers to die rather than watch Dean fail and die himself (31:55) Also, Sam still thinks of Dean as a hero who can do no wrong, while Cas recognizes his flaws and weaknesses. He knows Dean

Zachariah grabs Dean by the collar and gets in his face. Dean does nothing but flinch a little, mantaining his strong appearance. He only submits and looks overwhelmed when Cas does it (37:50)

Episode 19:

Cas is priority to Dean over Adam. He's more family to him than his actual blood (5:29)

Episode 21:

Cas is basically human, bloody, hurt, powerless and weak. First thing he does? Reach out for Dean (3:16)

Cas is still weak and powerless, and took a bus for miles, just to get back to Dean (12:35)

Episode 22:

Moments before basically going and kill himself, Dean focuses on Cas instead of Bobby, his father figure (24:35)

Cas is on the verge of tears at the thought of Dean dying (25:20)

We know Cas can heal without having to touch the body, but we always see him reach for contact with Dean (35:52) [That's why in S15, it hurts to see Cas not touching Dean while healing him. It feels unnatural]

Dean loves cowboys, and associates Cas to a sheriff. Cas, knowing that, smiles softly at the idea(37:30). Also, Dean obviously doesn't want Cas to leave, and tears up when he does

[Season 6>>]

[retphienix]

Alright, this is gonna be tough because I desperately want to say so much for the game's sake and my own, but it's just so much.

At least the playthrough as a whole exists to show a lot of those things, and there's no shame in some of the impacts the game had for myself going unsaid :)

LONG POST INCOMING, NO 'READ MORE' BECAUSE IT'S RELEVANT TO THE POST AND NOT AN AFTER-THOUGHT

CLICK 'J' ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO SKIP. (Sorry mobile users)

8:48 - Do you have any idea how good a step forward it felt to smash the repressing bulb?

9:50 - So I'll get ahead of myself because this fight shows a lot of the visuals that play into this: Something being the manifestation of guilt for Mari is so incredibly visualized.

Between the base 'Something' being extremely close to the shadow she cast and including the one visible eye that bore down on Sunny and Basil after the hanging, to the stairs incorporating into the design.

The seaweed and spider are more general anxieties though they do circle back to Mari since she saved Sunny, but those two forms don't feel as directly related as the stairs (heights) and base 'Something' forms and what they represent for his repressed guilt.

Could be wrong ;) Tell me what you saw in the forms of 'Something' if you'd like to expand on them :)

12:39 - Just to prove the point before you get to fully see the truth- Something morphs into the figure of Mari hanging. It doesn't fully demonstrate the "eye" aspect yet, but still I just wanted to say kudos on the way 'Something' is shown visually. Formless for a reason, and that form becomes more defined as you understand what it is, exceptional damn thing.

15:43 - Basil's part in all of this makes me so damn sad. Plenty to say later (obviously), but he harbors so much guilt, wants forgiveness so much, and is so (not shown yet) desperate to believe in Sunny's innocence while knowing but not comprehending the truth. The fact he harbors his own 'Something' due to the guilt of all this is heartbreaking, these kids endured a hell no one should. Losing someone so important to you and harboring the guilt and fault of it when nothing of the sort was intended. A childish fight with raised emotions got out of hand and all this came of it.

Hell.

16:30 - I absolutely adore how the photo album is used for this reveal.

Absolutely incredible execution that's specific to this story and its characters and makes piecing (literally) this together tense and grim.

22:27 - I NEVER SPOKE TO OR INTERACTED WITH THE THING IN THE CENTER OF THIS ROOM AND I'M A NORMAL AMOUNT OF UPSET ABOUT THAT >:( lol

29:41 - Okay.

So this reveal as a whole is so unbelievably well paced and incredibly hard hitting.

All game long there's a weight of having lost Mari. Repeatedly it's told that she killed herself and no one can understand why and everyone (MYSELF THE PLAYER INCLUDED) is looking for meaning in little moments, seeking out hints that maybe she was suffering or depressed or this or that.

And while that has gone on FOR THE ENTIRE GAME there has also been this uneasy weight surrounding Sunny/Omori. Visions of Mari twisted and deformed into phantoms of horror.

For the most part I assumed it was just him coping with having lost his sister and maybe a dialogue on how when she was alive he was in her shadow (in his mind) and now that she's gone he remains there?

That was the best I could figure, more or less. But it continued to seem more and more malicious in design and MUCH more 'heavy' in how it's presented as a shadow behind Omori/Sunny throughout his adventure and life.

The weight and 'overshadowed' looks of the scenes felt more and more foreboding and less like a simpler "I'm living in her shadow" story, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Then these pictures come out and piece things together.

The final result:

Sunny and Mari fighting. (Context appears to be his growing disdain towards playing. It's stated he loved playing, but it's also shown that he begins to dislike how much Mari is dragged away for classes and the like up to and including playing. So my read was that Sunny was upset that their fleeting time together was dedicated to the recital and broke his violin in an emotional blur and the fight occurred.

Alternatively it was accidentally broken and both of their emotions were running high as it happened)

Mari falling to her death.

Sunny and Basil carrying her upstairs and tending to her.

Sunny breaking down as it sinks in.

The visions having Basil say "It's going to be okay" by the bedside. (I perceive that as a memory of what Basil was saying as he tried to manage his emotions during the event)

Sunny and Basil carrying her back downstairs and to the backyard.

The makeshift noose.

And finally the sight that burned itself into Sunny's eyes of her hanging after it was all said and done.

Just holy shit to it all in how it's revealed and handled.

Stories have twists all the time, and I ain't gonna make some bold claim like "Most unpredictable!" "Best twist!" "What a twist!" or whatever, though that'd be funny.

I just want to say this twist worked BEFORE the reveal as a foreboding sense of unease and curiosity- it lent itself to intentionally vague and easily misconstrued explanations, basically- instead of it outright misleading you beyond the characters that believe the lie repeating the lie, it allowed you to mislead yourself.

It did the twist the right way! And well! YOU trick YOURSELF! The people repeating the lie are being lied to or have motivation to repeat the lie! The GAME isn't lying (as so many twists handle it) the game is giving the world reason to mislead and allowing you to be mislead!

Now am I yelling affirmations for the way things SHOULD ALWAYS BE! YES! BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT AS NORMAL AS IT SHOULD BE! lol

31:40 - All the "You will really miss them"s hurt :(

33:25 - Right out the gate, a spoiler for what isn't here:

I looked up the alternate endings of the neutral route and my heart hurts to know Sunny doesn't stick around and Basil dies :(

34:00 - BASIL BEING OVERWHELMED WITH DENIAL AND GUILT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MENTALLY PROTECT HIS VIEW OF WHO HIS FRIEND IS BY INVENTING A SECOND PARTY THAT DID THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL AND AMAZINGLY DONE.

And it explains the name behind the 'Something'.

'Something' behind you did it. There's 'Something' behind you, isn't there.

'Something' all around us, that potentially being the truth comin' in.

When 'Something' ruined my photos, Basil repressing protecting Sunny by destroying the proof.

Just expertly done.

'Something' being repression of the memory and impending guilt. Dannnng.

36:26 - It's 24 hours after I beat the game as I type all this so here's a gag.

Here's the part where Basil beats some sense into his friend, because after this Sunny gets knocked out and wakes up 200% improved and ready to save Basil from his own guilt by releasing them both from the secret.

So basically Kel dragged us out of bed, then a couple days later Basil beats us up, and that's how Sunny gets better :^) Game Over.

38:46 - This fight made me feel utterly terrible, a highlight being the energy bar saying "Everything is going to be okay".

or at 40:17 - when Basil pokes out Sunny's eye and the screen does this? That's an underutilized but always awesome visual.

41:12 - I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD AT THIS POINT :)

Because just before entering Basil's home on this night you see his Grandma's ghost here. So seeing Sunny here told me "WELL. YOU FUCKED UP!"

42:25 - Like I said, beat some sense into Sunny.

Here's the mental side of things where Basil's beatin' told Sunny to go remember the good times and confront his inner self and I'm being partially facetious because there's plenty to say about what's coming up.

43:15 - Goosebumps every time due to the sincerity and hope of this.

43:40 - Hug for anyone needing that.

51:11 - I could cry again and I just might before this post is done being put together.

This accident was never meant to be.

55:09 - Timestamp is arbitrary, I won't go over every flashback but I do want to say what a beautiful way to use these photos. To relive the memories? To find the strength to overcome and all that? After all these years of suppressing memories? DANNNG I love this game.

1:04:09 - I stepped in poop.

1:04:15 - Barefooted.

1:04:22 - I embraced my failure.

1:12:00 - The violin.

1:13:00 - "The anxious feeling-" "They believed in you" "No matter what you didn't want to disappoint them" I'm filled with love and gonna cry about it.

1:14:00 - So an important theme in the game, as if it has just one, is Sunny suppressing emotions and demonizing himself.

Obviously the ending shows him breaking free from both but I think it's important as hell to look at how he builds up to being able to.

After all the dark moments show him as a bloodied monster, demonstrate a perceived lack of remorse for what he's done (as in he sees himself so poorly that he says "I must not have felt bad about it, I'm a monster", not that he actually doesn't feel bad about it, that he thinks he shouldn't because he's bad), have him stab dream Basil to protect his repression of the memory, the build up to breaking free from that is him remembering the good in him through the lens of his friends.

Both in the real world and in revisiting the memories within the photos.

He hears about the good in himself that he has pretended isn't there and finds the power to overcome this deadened shell he's made.

He learns how to forgive himself by finally remembering he's worthy of forgiveness and is more than his mistake, that even the person he grievously harmed would want him to forgive himself and would understand the mistake didn't define him.

1:15:15 - Just because you did something bad doesn't make you bad, to put it more eloquently than my rambles. He had to learn that.

1:19:20 - I've done this fight 4 times.

You may be wondering why 4 times, it ain't like I replayed the game a ton or anything.

The short of it is:

1) For the good ending :)

2) To see what happens if you go "up" in the hospital- it's a dead end- I assumed it'd be a bad ending. So I got the good ending again :)

3) For the bad ending.

4) FOR THE GOOD ENDING TO WIPE THE HORRIBLE FEELING IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AWAY FROM THE BAD ENDING :)

In doing so I did get one layer deeper on the BG of Omori in the fight, here it is:

And I learned on the fourth run that the fight is simpler than I gave it credit lol, Cherish refills your juice, so there is no reason to use Encore. You can get to the end (and deeper more easily) by just using the triple attack and Cherish and Calm down when necessary.

1:29:00 - A summary of the fight is that it's extremely impactful emotionally, but very obviously isn't a "Fun fight". It's great mechanically and story wise for what it's trying to do :)

I'll just say it here: I'm surprised there wasn't an end-game "Omori" fight, you know, in dream world? Because combat is SO good in this. I am lead to believe that the Omori route where you never go outside in the real world has more bosses and zones and would fill what I just implied I wanted- but you're also railroaded into the Neutral endings which are both sad :(

And honestly? That makes sense and I applaud the decision :) Embracing the fantasy world for more 'fights' isn't exactly the path to recovery. Also and I know someone will be bothered I say this because *I'm* bothered I'm saying this- it makes sense since a big predecessor did the same thing lol.

Undertale Genocide has new bosses and a harder end game challenge (Sans) while being the worse ending, while the good ending has a flashy and story/emotionally impactful final fight that isn't as challenging because challenge isn't the point of the morals being explored.

I just bring it up because it's interesting, has a parallel, and after fighting Omori 4 times I really REALLY wanted to do an end-game fight in Dream World.

1:30:00 - forgive me as I cry again. goosebumps and more.

OH NO~!

DRAT!

So I use a cheap video editor and I use the free format of it which limits to 720p and I didn't think twice of it.

I recorded at max, but downgraded after editing.

At 720p you can't see the detail that made me break down crying!

At 1:31:55 Sunny's eyes go wider as he sees Mari as they finally get to experience the duet in this dream state (White Egret Orchid, this is real and happening, I'm taking this to my grave :'( ) he sees her smile and that smile made me break down, but in the 720 it's blurry :(

That's on me, I could have posted the scene raw in HQ but I didn't know it'd compress just enough to be invisible :(

still. that duet scene can make me cry on command. just because of that alone, but also the entire thing.

1:33:42 - Sunny breaks from his shell and feels his emotions again.

1:37:07 - I wish every game would end with a mirror to see yourself.

The 'Despite everything, it's still you' vibe just cements all the growth and experiences that have happened as so much more real when that happens. Bonus points because mirrors in Omori are a time bomb where you can be reminded of the guilt following you- and this one is safe. This one is pure and clean. You did it.

1:37:50 - As I said earlier, going up does nothing. Dead end.

1:39:00 - I have to tell you something.

Simple ending. And yet slams me like two trucks. I'm so proud.

1:41:00 - Post credits scene.

This is so heartwarming and their smiles are the purest thing in the entire world.

1:42:50 - BAD ENDING RECORDING.

All I'll say on that is the bad ending made me feel terrible inside. Give up, live in your bubble, and subconsciously end it all so you never have to confront reality again.

My gut felt heavy to be honest.

And the fact that THAT is when Bo En Time is played is INCREDIBLE.

Having the sky shift like that gave goosebumps and cemented my dread.

Just seeing it now has me feeling very poorly.

Okay. Video done.

Now for general thoughts.

First off this White Space cycle has been going on for YEARS with Sunny only getting worse as he suppresses things more and more and the reason he found the strength to overcome is because of his friends and I'm gonna yell about it.

THE REASON SUNNY IS BREAKING FREE CAN BE DIRECTLY POINTED AT KEL THINKING "FUCK IT, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A FRIEND, AND I DON'T WANT TO"

And I just think that is sweet as hell. The strength was inside himself, but the problem itself caused Sunny to demonize and not trust himself- he needed someone to break him free and help convince him that he's not irredeemable. And boom.

The way this game handles Denial and even gives it physical form with the 'Something's that both Sunny and Basil harbor is just awesome.

I touched on it but combat in Omori is very, very good.

I've said it here and there as I played and I feel like going at length in the finale post is pointless because this isn't a review but to put it concisely.

Types changing mid-combat, the character archetypes being so well defined, the follow up system, combat in Omori is some top notch turn based RPG stuff.

Like up there with the greats, the timeless masterpieces. This is GOOD fighting. So it was surprising the good ending didn't emphasize it- I explained why that makes sense, but even still! It'd probably be lesser for it (as explained previously) but it's interesting they practiced that restraint for the message they wanted to send.

Repeatin' that Mari's smile in the recital made me cry. Burned in my brain.

I'm still surprised I got the post credits scene because I DID water the plants a lot but when the game showed me them all dead I assumed that was the fail condition.

I genuinely do want to try the Omori route some time down the road. I hope I get around to it.

I am slightly dissuaded just because the Omori route only gets the neutral endings which are not Good To Be Blunt :(

But I want to see what dream content there is and I hear there are other bosses!

Other small bits from my notes:

Replacing denial (the black bulb) with hope (the white bulb) was good as heck.

The imagery of the 'Something' is so top notch- using the shadow of her body combined with the piercing gaze of her single eye- MY GOD.

The fragility of life being so present- between memories of near death experiences, to the way in which Mari dies, to the ease at which either Basil or Sunny can end the game. It's tense and heart-wrenching.

The way the 'Something' behind Sunny almost always shadows over him like an ever present weight.

Tearful, hopeful, pure, kids enduring a guilt metric tons heavier than their bodies could ever handle and finally, finally moving beyond it.

I said more in a personal post, and I'll reblog that.

Honestly, just timestamping through the video took it out of me and got the point across.

Omori is a wonderful game.

It's definitely a favorite for me, high up there on my list.

Between the themes, the gameplay, the humor, the ending.

This is a good one.

And now I get to end having experienced all the care and love in this title, that's such a sweet thing.

Now I know this finale post is a mess, illegible even. I have gotten sloppier as I've begun embracing just 'experiencing and rambling' and perhaps my formatting with change yet again until I find something more easily shared.

Despite that. I want to thank any who popped in on this playthrough.

This was a good one, a highlight of the blog for sure- and I'm always happy when I see some people enjoying the absolute mess I toss online when I do one of these :P

So thank you for your time, and thank you to any ridiculous enough to read my nonsense here.

Have a good one :)

And just as expected I feel I've said nothing and barely touched the surface as the post-game-head of mine does a poor job lol. Even still :P

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

The Girl Out of Time

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Background: Willow Roffe was born and raised in Brooklyn. She lived her life as happily as she could with her two childhood best friends Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. When they both left her to join the military she tried to continue with life but that didn't get to happen for her for the simple fact that she meant something to James Buchanan Barnes.

Rating: Story will be overall MATURE but not every chapter. There will be strong language, talk of both mental and physical abuse, some good ole angst, and smut. There will be a warning at the beginning of the chapter when it includes smut.

Chapter 36

The silent conversation the three women were having stopped suddenly. Shuri turned to look at me with a huge smile on her face.

“What’s going on?” I asked her.

“Come with me and I’ll show you what James has been up to.” She reached her hand out to me.

I cautiously took her hand and let her lead me to her lab. Inside the lab there was no sign of anything being different. Shuri led me to a large screen then had me stand in front of it.

“I’m going to show you a few different designs. Just let me know which one you like the most. I can even mix and match pieces.” Shuri explained as she picked up a tablet.

“Designs for what?” I asked her.

She smiled then gestured to the screen. My breath caught in my chest when I realized what I was looking at. They are wedding dresses! Beautiful and expensive looking wedding dresses. I just stared at them in total shock.

“See any you like?” Shuri asked.

“I don’t understand.” I said in somewhat of a confused trance.

Shuri chuckled then stepped over to me.

“Sergeant Barnes told me about how he asked you to marry him all those years ago and how he wanted to make good on his promise. So, we have agreed to lend a hand to help the two of you finally have your day.” Shuri explained.

“James did this?” I asked her.

“It was all his idea. We are just helping him execute it.” She smiled at me.

I turned back to the dresses on the screen. I looked each of them over before deciding which one I liked the best.

“That one” I pointed to it.

Shuri smiled then nodded. She stepped over to a cylinder machine that almost reminded me of the frozen chamber I was found in. He typed a few things on the tablet in her hand then hit a few buttons on the machine. A few minutes later she pulled open the chamber. I was shocked to see the exact dress I had picked before me. Every detail was perfect. It even looked like my perfect fit.

“Let’s see how it looks.” Shuri said as she gently took the dress down.

Shuri and the other two women helped me into the dress once I was undressed. It fit perfectly like it was made just for me. With Shuri’s insane technology I’d guess it was made exactly for me.

“You are gorgeous.” One of the women said.

“Absolutely breathtaking” Shuri smiled.

She placed her hands on my bare shoulders then turned me to face a mirror. I was completely stunned by what I saw. I looked and felt like a princess.

The dress was white, strapless, and perfectly fitting around my hips. The front came down to my ankles then flowed into a long train in the back. It was the most gorgeous thing I’d ever seen.

“Is this the one you want?” Shuri asked staring at me through the mirror.

“Yes” I smiled.

Shuri clapped her hands together excitedly. The other two women hurried out of the room.

“Come sit so we can get your hair and makeup perfect.” Shuri said gesturing to a chair.

“Wait, this is happening right now?” I asked in surprise.

“Of course, Sergeant Barnes didn’t want anything else to get in the way.” She explained.

My stomach suddenly flipped. The nerves taking control. I know I want to do this. This is all I’ve wanted since the day James asked me even if I didn’t remember it. But finding out so suddenly had me on edge. I had no time to prepare myself.

“Everything is taken care of Willow no need to fret. James and T’Challa are finishing up as we speak. It’s going to be magical.” Shuri reassured me.

I nodded then sat in the seat she was standing next to. A few second later the other two women came back into the room. Shuri stood in front of me like she was looking over a piece of clay she was about to sculpt into a masterpiece.

“You already look like a princess in this dress but how about we step it up and make you a queen.” She smiled nodding to the other two women.

I sat quietly as they did their work. Shuri mainly worked on my makeup as she instructed the other two on what to do with my hair. It felt like no time had passed when they stepped back to admire their work. Shuri looked more excited than I had ever seen anyone.

“You have to see yourself. You look like a true queen.” Shuri chuckled pulling me gently.

We stopped in front of the mirror again. She was right. There were small sparkling jewels placed throughout my hair. They had put it on top my head in a beautiful mess of curls. My makeup was flawless but seemed almost nonexistent. I did look like royalty.

“Thank you Shuri.” I smiled trying to keep my tears at bay.

“Don’t worry that face is one hundred percent waterproof. I made it myself.” She said proudly.

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Knock knock” the male voice had me instantly trying to hide myself.

“Calm down Willow it’s only T’Challa.” She chuckled.

I let out a sigh of relief. I turned to face the king. He was definitely dressed to impress. I thought I looked like royalty until I saw him.

“Everything is ready whenever you are.” He said with a smile.

The nerves instantly came back. I was really about to get married.

“I would be honored to escort you to Sergeant Barnes.” T’Challa said extending his hand to me.

I smiled and nodded grateful for someone to hold onto. I’d probably fall on my face if I had to walk alone.

“Ladies, please help with that dress. I’ll meet you there.” Shuri said then quickly left the room.

“Nervous?” T’Challa asked.

“Completely” I breathed out a laugh.

“No need to be. You look breath taking and Sergeant Barnes is more than excited to see you. He hopes you’re not angry with him for springing this on you so suddenly.” T’Challa spoke as we walked slowly through his palace.

“I’m not angry. I’m surprised and nervous as hell but I’m also so excited to finally do this.” I told him.

“We are all very excited. It’s been some time since we’ve had a wedding here.” T’Challa chuckled.

We stopped in front of a heavy door. It looked like the main door to the palace. T’Challa knocked twice. Music began playing on the other side right before the doors slowly came open. My insides twisted as I saw James standing at the end of the walk way. Shuri stood beside him with a large grin on her face.

T’Challa and I began walking slowly towards them. The look on James’s face was like nothing I’d ever seen. His features were softer than ever as he watched me walk closer. As we drew closer and closer I could see his eyes moving up and down my body trying to take everything in. T’Challa stopped in front of James then grabbed my head to help me step into place. The two women who had been following us fixed my dress to flow properly behind me. T’Challa stepped up to stand next to his sister between James and I.

“You look gorgeous.” James whispered.

“Thank you” I mouthed with a giddy smile.

T’Challa raised his arms silencing the music.

“It has been some time since we have gathered for a ceremony such as this. A beautiful day of joining these two in a bond that will last for eternity. First, I’d like to tell you the story of their love. It’s a love that has withheld for almost a century. It began in America in the 1930s where Sergeant Barnes and Willow grew up as close friends. In the 1940s when Sergeant Barnes was leaving for war they finally confessed their feelings. James left with the promise of marrying Willow when he returned but he did not return. He was thought dead for many years along with Willow. It wasn’t until the 21st century not long ago at all that both Willow and James were found to actually be alive. After a long fight between many different enemies both internal and external did the two finally come together again. The love between them strong enough to withstand all the horrors of their past. They stand here today ready to restart together in a new time in and place. A new life for them both to finally find peace and happiness. Now, if you two will unite arms.” T’Challa finished gesturing to us.

James extended his hand then grabbed my forearm. I mirrored his action doing the same.

“The bond of marriage, as I said, is eternal. To take on not only the same name but a combined life to be there for each other in all moments. To be each other’s strength and comfort. To fight by each other’s side. Do you accept this bond?” T’Challa turned to James.

“I accept this bond.” James said with a smile.

“Do you accept this bond?” T’Challa asked again turning to me.

“I accept this bond.” I answered smiling up at James.

“I, King of Wakanda, would like to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Barnes.” T’Challa said happily.

James grabbed each side of my face then pressed his lips against mine softly. It was a sweet and simple kiss but it hinted at more to come. The crowd before us cheered. Shuri clapped happily as T’Challa looked proudly down at us.

James took my arm in his then guided me back down the aisle. I was giddy with happiness and nerves. I really just got married! I finally married James Buchanan Barnes!

—

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck (pt 4)

Part 1 | Previous

Inevitably, after random small talks with the boys, your phone rang and when you finally picked it up, you had five missed calls from your parents, and you had to get back home. You said goodbye to the tipsy boys, and promised to hang out with them again soon. Mark gave you his gloves, because suddenly the night became cold, and you both rode back to your place, he'd look back at you every red light, since the wind was making you tremble in cold, he'd laugh nervously every time you put your hands on his pockets to keep them warm.

Upon arriving, you knew your dad was probably waiting in the living room for you, so you didn't let him get close to the front door, and just as you were kissing him goodbye, both your parents opened the door to you holding hands.

“Are you children coming in?” your mom asked, not a hint of her being angry at all, but judging by the time you arrived, you knew she was beyond displeased.

Mark was about to decline, but your dad gave him the look.

“Son, come on in, it's late and you don't want to drive that thing without chatting with us, do you?” That thing, of course, reminded him of his old Harley. Your mom had a thing for bikers, and apparently you did too. Probably, a little bit intimidated by your father, Mark agreed to having a cup of coffee with you inside.

At first it was embarrassing and uncomfortable, because you knew what your parents wanted to hear about your relationship with Mark, but unfortunately there was nothing between you two, and what was actually going on would piss them off, after telling them that those hours that you spent making out, you were in the taking a special Science course. But things got smooth quickly, after your dad learned all the things he had in common with Mark, and after skipping the fact that you were tipsy all the time you were talking, obviously none of you told them you were drinking and smoking an hour away from home.

“I hate to be that kind of dad, Mark, but I have to know, since I don't want my daughter coming at 1 a.m every night, what kind of relationship do you children have?”

You noticed Mark's jaw tightened, his hands also tensed, and he held his breath for a second that felt like hours.

“He's just a good friend, dad, Jaemin couldn't bring me home earlier since he was helping a friend with his car, it ran out of gas, and since it was getting cold, he offered me a lift” You intervened, knowing that you didn't want to hear whatever Mark was planning to reply. You knew you were a good liar, but this one came out so smoothly and naturally that for a moment, Mark himself believed it.

“I see... Is Jaemin the moron that picked you up and didn't bother to say hi?” you nodded “is that your boyfriend?” you shook your head no “that's great, he's banned, I don't want you driving around in that car with him” Mark let out a giggle “then you children should go to sleep”

You stood up, ready to say goodbye but your mom finally talked again after staring at you suspiciously.

“What are you doing? It's late. Mark, bring your bike inside the garage and you can sleep in the couch”

Your parents were always very nice with your friends, but you didn't want that with Mark, you didn't want them to think about him that way, because you knew that it was only about time before he left you.

“I really shouldn't, I don't want to abuse your hospitality”

“Come on, love, it's late, you can stay with Y/N in the living, it could be dangerous outside”

It didn't take long for him to say yes, so you had to stay with him in the couch. You decided you were both sleeping in the floor, so you built a fort and laid next to each other.

“You know, Y/N I never thought you were so much of a liar”

“Huh?”

“Jaemin? Helping someone with their car?”

“Oh, right. Don't be loud, I don't really want them to know it was a lie”

“I mean yeah, but I am impressed... Have you ever lied to me?”

In the dark, you could barely distinguish him from his shadow, he was playing with his hands and breathing slowly, you couldn't see his face but you knew that he was smiling.

“We never speak, how could I ever lie to you, hum?”

Silence. You thought maybe he fell asleep, after all, it was really late.

“Right”

It was your turn to stay quiet. You didn't intend to make him feel bad, in case that was what happened, and this was your chance to get closer to him. I mean, you were sleeping together, how much closer could you get anyway.

“I am indeed a good liar” you started and heard him turn around, so you proceeded “I am also very sensitive, I cry often for the dumbest reasons. I like to be alone, but I crave human interaction sometimes. I don't like the smell of cigarettes, but I've been smoking for a while and of course my parents don't know, don't even ask. I also like to cook, I'm pretty good, I would say”

“Is any of that a lie?”

“Yes. Guess which one.”

He took his time, humming for some minutes

“You don't like to be alone. If you did, you would've never accepted to meet me after class”

“That's wrong. All of those are lies, but I am in fact a good cook”

He laughed and placed his hand on your hip bone

“Let me tell you something, I used to think you were incredibly gorgeous, but upon meeting you, I know now that you are also smart, and funny and I just want to how is it possible that you are so charming”

It was a blessing that it was so dark, because you didn't want him seeing you blushing the way you did.

“What is that supposed to mean anyway?”

You heard sounds coming up from your parents room, and you realized that of course they were trying to listen

“It means we should sleep, it's very late” he turned around again, his back facing you, and you immediately missed his hands on you.

“Goodnight, Mark”

He said nothing, and after some minutes you felt asleep, he noticed you did when your breath became deeper. He turned to face you. In the dark he couldn't really see your face, but he imagined your closed eyes and your nose slightly pink from the heat your body was creating. He imagined caressing your cheek, cupping your face with his hands, playing with your hair and making you laugh when he was kissing all over your face, but he didn't, he didn't even move a finger, he stayed away, and told himself it was better that way.

In the morning, you forgot where you were, and panicked when you saw Mark's face slightly covered by a blanket. He looked adorable, and you resisted the urge to hug him.

You were thankful you woke up early and immediately went to wash your face and brush your teeth, you went to the kitchen and made pancakes.

You were loud enough to wake him up, so he went looking for you and couldn't help but smile when he saw you.

“How are you up so early?” he scared you but you didn't jump when you heard his voice

“I was hungry”

You ate your breakfast and he told you he should leave already, but you didn't want him to.

“I'll see you tomorrow after class, I swear”

He took his jacket, and went to the garage. You saw him riding away, and you wondered if you made any progress with him.

Sunday, 8:36 a.m, Na Jaemin: “Are you coming with us today?”

Sunday, 8:37 a.m: “where?”

“actually, don't tell me, I don't I'd be able to go”

Sunday, 8:37 a.m, Na Jaemin: “Well we're not taking Mark, but Jeno and I are going somewhere, I thought maybe you'd like to join us”

“«somewhere» means his place, I'm helping him organize his room, he's messy.”

“No drinks or drugs I swear”

“Well unless you want to”

Sunday, 8:39 a.m: “mmmmm k, pick me up in like three hours pls”

Sunday, 8:39 a.m, Na Jaemin: “Will do. See you xox😘”

Sunday 8:40 a.m : “🤢🤢”

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A.N: Okay I love this song so much, maybe you can't tell but that's somehow the way Mark feels about Y/N. Talking that, have you been listening to the songs I add? I got a message saying they were and they liked them, that's why I keep attaching them lmao, I hope you don't mind it.

I wanted to thank you again for your feedback and for taking the time to message me or reply or ask, and to like and reblog this, too.

I'm thinking about a new project, involving a horror story and any other nct member, I'm thinking Hyuck or Chenle because I adore them but if you had any suggestions / requests, I'd be happy to read them.

Anyway, I wanted to upload this earlier but of course I didn't, I'm sorry about, I'll work on a schedule for you to know when I'll update if that's easier uwu

[famous-aces]

Marilyn Monroe

Who: Marilyn Monroe (born Norma Jeane Mortenson) 

What: Actress, Model, and Singer

Where: American-Jewish (active largely in US)

When: June 1, 1926 - August 4, 1962

(Image Description: a photo of Marilyn Monroe by Richard Avedon from 1957. It is a black and white image showing Monroe on a sparkly dress from the waist up. It almost feels weird to describe her, her face is so famous. She is a white pale woman with an oval face and heavily lidded eyes with long lashes. She has full lips with a beauty mark beside them. She is wearing makeup and has her trademark short, curly, blonde hair. She has her arms hanging limply at her side. Instead of posing sexily she looks to be lost in thought, looking somewhere off camera. End ID) 

Marilyn Monroe is The Hollywood Beauty. The quintessential sexy starlet. Even if you have never seen a movie with her in it, you know who she was, a bit like possible aces I have covered before Andy Warhol or Sir Isaac Newton, you can picture her in your mind just by existing in Western popular culture. She has become a part of our communal consciousness. Her life was brief and marked by tragedy below the glitz and glamor. Her biggest role was playing Marilyn Monroe.

She was intelligent, warm, and a gifted actress, but she is rarely remembered for that. She is far better remembered for singing Happy Birthday to her sometime beau President Kennedy and for the scene in The Seven Year Itch when wind from a subway grate blows up her skirt. You've seen it. Really her whole persona was often created rather than who she really was. She was an actress in her real life, unfortunately.

Monroe actually came into the spotlight in the Second World War when she posed for photos for the boys on the front. From there her modeling, singing, and acting career skyrocketed. Until her tragic death at the age of 36 she was among the go-to actresses for those sexpot roles especially in comedies. Her death by potentially intentional drug overdose (discovered by her psychologist) is just one piece of the evidence of how much of her life was hidden, like her struggles with substance abuse and mental health.

She was famous for playing Blond Bombshells and Dumb Blonds.  She was all beauty, glamor, and sex appeal and it earned her millions of dollars. She always wanted to be more though, unfortunately she never really got it. "Please don't make me a joke," she told a journalist, "End the interview with what I believe...I want to be an artist, an actress with integrity...I want to grow and develop and play serious dramatic parts. My dramatic coach tells everyone that I have a great soul, but so far nobody's interested in it." 

She is best known for as an icon and emblem of the popular culture of the 1950s and early 1960s, but her most definitive/important roles include All About Eve (1950) (a small role that would lead to her "discovery" and contract with 20th Century Fox), Monkey Business (1952), How to Marry a Millionaire (1953), Niagara (1953), Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), The Seven Year Itch (1955), Some Like it Hot (1959), The Misfits (1961), and her final film, released posthumously as a short, Something's Gotta Give (1962). She also sang "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" and the very sexually charged "Happy Birthday Mr. President" (just the song here). 

(Image Description: the poster for Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. It shows drawings of Jane Russel and Marilyn Monroe in red costumes the size and shape of one piece bathing suits that are sheer or pink on top. They have on red top hats and long black and white necklaces. They have black canes and are dancing with one leg upraised. Behind them is a busy Paris scene done in a more cartoony/simplified style. There are musical notes around them. Their names are above their heads in blue.  Below them on a black rectangle it says (in white and orange) "in Howard Hawks' Gentlemen Prefer Blondes [in] Technicolor" below that rectangle but above the studio info in blue it says "co-starring Charles Coburn". End ID) 

Probable Orientation: Mspec Ace

Oh, I am going to get a lot of hate for this one.

And a lot of people are going to show a lot of misogyny and aphobia, be it overt, unintentional, or internalized.  Indeed the first thing the first (allo) person I told these findings to said "but she had a ton of sex!" Yes, that is true, she did, and so do some other aces.

Not to mention that Monroe's relationship with sex was a complicated one. A very complicated one. Monroe had a deeply traumatic childhood (mentally ill mother, tossed between foster homes and orphanages) and married extremely young -- she had turned 16 just two and a half weeks earlier -- to prevent her from becoming homeless and returned to the orphanage after her most recent foster family planned on moving out of state and leaving her behind. Then while working a munitions plant in L.A. she became a model for the troops in World War II, aged 18. From her teen years she was made aware that sex was expected from her, thrust into adulthood and positions she might not have been comfortable with. She was a beautiful woman and people wanted her and she accepted that because it did get her what she wanted.

(Image Description: the 1944 factory photos that launched Monroe's modeling career, taken by David Conover for Yank Magazine at the Radioplane Munitions Factory in which she worked. Interestingly the commanding officer that sent him to take the photos was Ronald Reagan. The photo shows an 18-year-old Monroe. She is holding a small propeller and is beside some kind of red machine. She is wearing a simple green top and gray bottoms with a photo ID badge at her waist. She wears a wedding ring. She has much frizzier brown hair. She is smiling broadly. End ID)  

Over the course of her life she was in love with and had sexual relationships with many different men and women. That doesn't mean she was sexually attracted to them. Indeed throughout her life she had a lot of difficulty with sex. She didn't like it. She thought she must have been doing it "wrong" and stated that a lot of her sex appeal was applied to her rather than something she felt. She was playing to the crowd. Which makes sense, Monroe was a people pleaser. She desired closeness, she romantically loved many people, I have no doubt, and from the time she was a teenager the best appreciated way to show it was by being sexual. The fact that later in life she had a sexual encounter with a literal 16-year-old when she was 30 shows she had a pretty fucked up understanding of what was appropriate sexually. The 16-year-old was the leader of her fan club, she also had an affair with her acting coach, her first husband was her neighbor who was kind to her. She was loving the people who loved her and was showing it the way society told her to. (On her being mspec, there were several women she had affairs with, including the fan and acting coach mentioned above, indeed it has been speculated she was more attracted to women than men).

No matter how she appeared on screen, she voiced fear that she was broken and frigid to her psychologist (who agreed with her) because she didn't really enjoy/want sex.  The desire of wanting to fix herself and wanting to please the people who loved her and who she may have romantically loved in return. She probably romantically loved some of these people but didn't know how to separate that from the sexual aspect or didn't want to lose them if she did. She was giving them what they wanted and expected and what culture told her was essential to normal loving relationships.

Her sexual "failure" was a subject she returned to often in therapy throughout her life. She had only one sexual encounter she actually said she enjoyed and it seemed to be more of a relief because it made her normal than what she got from the sex itself.

She said again and again that she wasn't the sexpot people thought she was, nobody listened.

(Image Description: a series of photos from a photoshoot from Life Magazine. It shows Monroe at home in 1953, a huge year in her career. The photographer is Alfred Eisenstaedt [a photographer of whose work I am extremely fond]. They show Monroe wearing a dark turtleneck and checkered trousers. She is in a bunch of different positions and wearing different expressions. Some of these appear candid and others posed. I am especially fond of one in the middle in which she appears to be trying to stop herself from laughing or sneezing. I like to imagine it is the former. It is very human. End ID)

“People had a habit of looking at me as if I were some kind of mirror instead of a person. They didn’t see me, they saw their own lewd thoughts, then they white-masked themselves by calling me the lewd one.”

-Marilyn Monroe

"I never quite understood it, this sex symbol. I always thought symbols were those things you clash together! That's the trouble, a sex symbol becomes a thing. I just hate to be a thing. But if I'm going to be a symbol of something I'd rather have it sex than some other things they've got symbols of."

—Monroe in an interview for Life in 1962 (both of these quotes illustrate that her "sex appeal" was manufactured and applied rather than her own natural state. Her audience made it clear what they wanted and she played to it.)

"A man who had kissed me once had said it was very possible that I was a lesbian because apparently I had no response to males - meaning him...I didn't contradict him because I didn't know what I was... Now, having fallen in love, I knew what I was. It wasn't a lesbian."

-Marilyn Monroe in her autobiography My Story (written 1954, published 1974). (Note that she has "no response". She loves a man, this one or another, but she has "no response" to men physically. That is the only response he could comment on, her physical one. Clearly she feels some kind of attraction to someone eventually, but not sexually/physically. It is the difference between romantic and sexual love. It also shows that homosexuality and asexuality have always overlapped.)

"Primary frigidity" 

-the diagnosis from Monroe's therapist Dr. Ralph Greenson, he worked to "cure" her of this "frigidity"

“Maybe I’m a sexless sex goddess.” 

– Marilyn Monroe to Life magazine journalist Richard Meryman, 1961

(Image Description: a photo of Marilyn Monroe behind the scenes on the set of The Misfits in 1960, photographed by Inge Morath.  She is leaning across a table and smiling at someone to the right of the frame. She has tired eyes. End ID) 

[whatisthisnonsense]

Lea Kane: The episode Fendy got elbowed in the face was actually meant to be an episode about controlling your temper, but it started unfolding and Joey made the animators just keep the cameras rolling and then save it for the next Subvert The System episode

[9:08:44 PM] Evan Stanley: an episode about controlling your temper, something tells me it didn't go super well

[9:09:25 PM] Lea Kane: Which is hilarious because in modern day the "HEY DON'T HURT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AND ADMIT YOU FUCKED UP" would be a perfectly valid mainstream episode

[9:16:37 PM] Lea Kane: "Didn't go super well" I think you mean "given Bendy murdered everyone and is still mad and dramatic enough to murder Henry, his temper was never controlled even remotely and the episode probably ended with him controlling it for like, two seconds, before they turned around and he proceeded to launch himself at them"

[9:23:25 PM] Lea Kane: But yeah. They had to redo the whole episode after the elbowing event was over, and it ended Poorly.

[9:23:30 PM] Evan Stanley: heh

[9:23:48 PM] Lea Kane: Which is fine, ye olde cartoon, having the moral screwed over for comedy is fine

[9:24:45 PM] Lea Kane: Whoever was told to make him angry sure did their job though

[9:25:09 PM] Lea Kane: "paid" here meaning "told they wouldn't get zapped if they did it"

[9:26:55 PM] Lea Kane: Honestly the zapping might've been preferable

[9:27:51 PM] Lea Kane: The Gang's reactions were the gauntlet between Exasperated, Oh Dear, and Amused

[9:29:55 PM] Lea Kane: FAST FORWARD TO THE GAME and everyone's reactions is "well shit"

[9:30:34 PM] Lea Kane: And Boris, sweet defusing thing he is, is no longer around to make Bendy calm the fuck down or at least pick him up and keep him from hurting anyone

[9:33:11 PM] Evan Stanley: everybody underestimates the peacemaker friend

[9:36:08 PM] Lea Kane: Serena is concerned he'll bite her hand off, Porker isn't sure he should, and Fendy is too short

[9:41:02 PM] Evan Stanley: curse you, shortness

[9:41:08 PM] Evan Stanley: bbl, I'm gonna make dinner

[9:41:18 PM] Lea Kane: YEAH ONCE THE PEACEMAKER FRIEND DIES IT'S SUDDENLY VERY OBVIOUS HOW MUCH OF BENDY/SERENA'S SELF CONTROL, PORKER'S DRIVE, AND FENDY'S CHEER DEPENDED ON HIS BEING AROUND

[9:41:37 PM] Lea Kane: NOT EVEN PHYSICALLY PRESENT JUST AS A PERSON WHO IS

[9:42:14 PM] Lea Kane: Kkies I'mma shower anyhow

[10:11:41 PM] Lea Kane: BUT YES Fendy's too short. She got elbowed the last time she tried to drag him off, and I already went on about how poorly THAT ended.

[dino0316]

EXCLUSIVE:

Eden Hazard: "I want to show that I am made for Real"

(Words: Jürgen Geril / Photo: Kris Van Exel)

Fasten your seat belts. This is your captain speaking. The Red Devils kick off their European Championship in Russia tonight and then it is Eden Hazard (30). Not quite fit yet, but soon the captain who can lead us to the European title. Despite a season full of injuries, Hazard allowed us an exclusive interview in which he got quite personal. "My sons are very sorry if I can't play with them in the garden due to injuries."

Eden Hazard

The injections I got in both hips work, but I will never be 100 percent in that first match

You don't just arrange an interview with Eden Hazard. At Real Madrid he continuously held off the boat. Because Real is a world team that does not hand out its stars on a tray, but also because Hazard was injured more than fit and received a lot of criticism. Then you are not always in the mood to talk. At the Red Devils, the captain excelled in his absence for 17 months.

But a conversation is possible during this European Championship preparation. That is, if we can present a negative Covid test. So, one day after we let such a Swiffer stick tickle our eyeball, we sit down at Hazard's table. Eden slumps sprawled under a parasol. “During such preparation, I do have some free hours,” he says. “Okay, sometimes I play cards with teammates, but Mertens and co. don't always like it when I join. (grins) I'm not very good at it and then I cheat to tease the others. Creating atmosphere, huh. Fire your questions.”

Eden, there's been so much speculation about your thigh injury. You indicated that you will never be one hundred percent fit for the opening match. What about now? Can you play against Russia?

“The desire to appear at the kick-off is, of course, there. I can play a good match without training a lot, but – honestly – I don't want to start just to start. The good feeling in my legs will return and the injections I received in both hips work, but I will never be 100 percent in that first match. Even if I just come in, don't expect me to make the difference against Russia right away."

You played only 9 minutes against Croatia. Don't you need net matches to grow into your best form?

“I get better when I can play one, two, three matches in a row. Then the ball feeling returns and the rhythm returns, but I don't want to force it either. If I have to be more patient, so be it. Fortunately, I am not the only one in Belgium who can decide a match. We have so many good players who can score.”

What I wonder: is there no mutual competition among the Devils who is now the greatest world champion? You, De Bruyne, Lukaku,...?

“We don't participate in such games. The ranking is clear, isn't it? When it comes to passing, Kevin is the best, no one can finish better than Romelu, Doku is the sprint bomber and Thibaut Courtois is the best with his hands. Everyone has their specialty and that's what makes us so good. Where am I? I'm hanging in there. I'm good at everything, but I'm not the best at anything. I am a good mix.” (grins)

You say you don't want to force against Russia. Did you do that at Real Madrid? For example, you played in the Champions League against Mönchengladbach after two group training sessions.

(hesitating) “With all those injuries I forced once, yes. I had already been out twice and felt pain again during training. I thought to myself: This is no longer possible. If I now indicate that I am in pain, I have to stop for another two weeks . So I was silent and continued. At Chelsea I often played football with discomfort. Stiffness, a kick I got,... Once warmed up, it went well and in seven years that never led to major injuries in England. Unfortunately, at Real it was the other way around. The next day: Bam, more pain. ”

It all started with that kick by Meunier in the Champions League in 2019. Then you started having problems with that plate in your ankle and since then you have had one muscle injury after another.

“Ah, I played with that picture for two years at Chelsea without hindrance. It's just hard to understand. I do everything I can to not get injured, work hard in the gym – which is really boring – and then a new injury often followed. Bad luck. Hopefully that period is behind me now, because I've had it with it."

Belgium knows you as a cheerful French, but your eyes are dimmed.

“I'm still the same, you know. I still have fun, but I can't say I'm happy. That's only me when I can have fun on the field. That has not happened in the past two years at Real. If you have one or two injuries, you can easily turn the switch. You rehabilitate to come back stronger. If it's five, six, seven injuries, it's much more difficult mentally. But I continue. It's not that I'm 36 years old and can say enough is enough. I also get a lot of support during such periods. The whatsapp group with my parents and my brothers Thorgan, Kylian and Ethan does not stand still. My wife and children are also there. Although my sons find it especially bad because I can play football with them less in the garden.”

Are your four sons – Yanis, Leo, Samy and Santi – addicted to playing soccer with their daddy?

“We often play football. Then they try to play a ball through my legs and if they succeed, that's great. That's football. But for now I gate them more often than they gate me. My kids are starting to get it, because now they are constantly defending with their legs closed. They're not bad, but it's too early to tell if they have the talent of the Hazards."

Do they play with the youth of Real Madrid?

“No, Yanis and Leo play together in a team close to our house, Samy just started training there and the youngest is still too small. They should play football for fun. If I can, I'll look, but then I'm not constantly giving directions. That's the coach's job."

We don't really see a trainer in you later on. Not at a professional level, anyway.

“Never say never, but for now I share your opinion. I would be a bad coach. One that says: Grab a ball and do something fun with it . I don't like tactics. If we have an hour of video analysis, as a professional football player, of course I pay attention. You can always learn something, but it's not my favorite activity. I also watch less and less football on TV. Not to the Belgian league anyway, unless my brother Kylian participates at Cercle. In Germany I follow Thorgan at Dortmund, but for the rest? I am more concerned with my family.”

Do your children empathize with you?

“They are fans of Real, but they don't follow every match. During this European Championship they will support the TV with Belgian shirts. It's double. The more we win, the longer they have to miss their daddy, but okay: the boys hope that Belgium becomes European champion and above all that I am fit and healthy on the field."

What do you think of the statement that your injuries are due to stress? At Real you span your muscles through the nerves.

“ N'importe quoi . bland. Of course there is pressure. Real Madrid is the biggest club of all. When you play football there, people expect you to be the best in the world. But why should I be stressed? It's my dream club from when I was little. I looked at Zidane with admiration at Real...”

You are the record purchase of 120 million. Some argue that Chelsea got even more.

“I don't know how much it was myself. Hundred million or more? I am not concerned with money. I only think about the field.”

You also had to succeed Cristiano Ronaldo at Real.

"That is something else. I am not Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo scores 60 to 70 goals in a year, I score 60 to 70 goals in seven or eight years. We are different. For example, I will never jump that high above a defender to head in a ball. Imagine. But I did not enter Madrid with the idea: I have to be the new Ronaldo here . I just have to be Eden Hazard.”

According to our analyst René Vandereycken, they are still not playing you well at Real. They should – according to him – also give you the ball if there are two men in your back.

“It makes sense that they don't, because I haven't shown anything at Real yet. If we play a match tomorrow and I dribble from between three players, they're going to play me more like that. Then confidence grows. That's how it was at Chelsea, that's how it is at the Red Devils. The European Championship can also help me show myself to Real Madrid.”

So are you one hundred percent sure you'll stay?

“Yeah, it didn't even occur to me for a second that I better leave. I'm not going to leave there a failure. I just want to prove that I am made for Real Madrid. The past two years have been difficult. I was in Madrid without actually being in Madrid, you know? And if I did play, it was difficult because of Covid. We played in that small stadium on the practice complex without fans, while I just signed to play football for a full Bernabeu. I hope that the works on our stadium will be finished soon and that the stands will fill up again. I need that.

Real remains another universe. A kilo too much or a bad match and you will be killed. The press and the fans are on your skin. Bale once said: 'When I come out, I immediately have fifty fans behind me.'

“Criticism is part of Real, just like the attention of the fans is part of it. Okay, luckily I live in a closed neighborhood where you don't just drive in. If the supporters could ring my door, it wouldn't be possible. (laughs) But I don't mind signing autographs elsewhere. I try to live a normal life.”

Fans and press were outraged when you laughed and joked with Chelsea players Mendy and Zouma after the elimination in the semi-finals of the Champions League.

“That was wrong, yes. What Mendy and Zouma said wasn't even funny, but I've played with Zouma and I know Mendy through the door. It's always nice to see friends again. Although I understand that I have damaged the image of Real Madrid. Everyone thought I didn't lose sleep over that shutdown, but nothing could be further from the truth. Deep down I was very disappointed. If there was one match I wanted to win, it was against my ex-club Chelsea at Stamford Bridge. I was shocked when I saw those images.”

How did your teammates react?

“I got some phone calls, but honestly: it's a very nice group of players. That is also one of the reasons I absolutely want to stay: the good atmosphere. You know, when I first stepped into Real's dressing room, I was impressed. That was my favorite all-star club, but guys like Sergio Ramos or Karim Benzema are just regular guys. The Spaniards sometimes take the whole group to quiet restaurants.”

Hold on... Eden Hazard was impressed?

“Yes, but I'm fast, you know. When a new talent arrives at the Red Devils, I quickly think: Wow, he can teach us something . Jérémy Doku, for example. What he shows in training speaks for itself. His dribbling, his acceleration.”

Do you recognize yourself in Doku?

“It is a dear guest. He's even faster and more explosive than the young Eden. Jérémy integrates well, but that is not difficult with these Devils. We grow older in age, but our minds remain young. I am still eighteen years old in that regard. I'm not saying that the previous generation of Devils was surly and unkind, but this core is more open to youngsters."

Have you asked Dries Mertens what it is like to work with Carlo Ancelotti? He will be the new coach of Real Madrid.

“Ancelotti has already messaged me. He told me that he is very happy to be coach of Real Madrid again, but that we will have time to talk at length later. He wished me luck at the European Championship. I didn't have to ask Mertens how Carlo Ancelotti is, because at Real there are still many players – Benzema, Modric, Kroos,...– who remember him from his previous visit in Madrid. They all say that Ancelotti is fantastic. A good person who knows how to play and lead a group. Last season Real won nothing, next season we want to take revenge.”

With Zinedine Zidane, your great patron left Real Madrid.

“I called him. It hurt me to see him leave. We had two years where we could show beautiful things and it failed. That is a disappointment to both him and me. Everyone knows the relationship I had with Zidane. He used to be my idol. Because of him I started to watch football with admiration. That goal he scored in the Champions League final against Bayer Leverkusen... Everyone knows that volley. Well, hopefully one day I will score such a beautiful goal. I must try that. Maybe at the European Championships.” (laughs)

Another great idol will return to the Red Devils: Thierry Henry.

“That's great. Better to have Titi with us than to have him elsewhere. A former player like Henry means an added value. He has experience in tournaments, won the World Cup and the European Championship. There are few ex-football players who have such an appearance.”

In what area does he help you the most?

“Actually, he doesn't talk much. Henry radiates calm, romps around the terrain and occasionally gives tips: Why don't you walk like that? There is the free space... He has a special aura. It is good for us that such an icon is now back in our staff. Moreover, it frightens the opponents. If we had to play against a team with Zidane as coach tomorrow, we immediately think: oh la la .”

Are we the favorites to win the European Championship?

“No, Belgium is a team that can win the European Championship, but the big favorite is France. They are world champions and still have the same team, supplemented by some new strong players such as Benzema. They are the team to beat. We are an outsider.”

Final question. You never played in Belgium. Will we ever see you play football in Belgium like Kompany did at a later age?

“All due respect to Kompany. He took Belgian football to a higher level, but I don't see myself playing in the Belgian league. I have been living abroad with my family for years: seven years in London and hopefully five years in Madrid. Returning with the whole family seems complicated to me. After my career I may live in a remote place. Laid back. But believe me: I still have five or six great football years ahead of me.”

(X)

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 6

[Season 4; Season 5] Man, this season... an emotional rollercoaster

Episode 3:

Cas admits he and Dean "share a more profound bond." (15:35) uuuhmm okay

"You think I came because you called?" (16:31) cut to "I always come when you call" later on in E21

"When a claim is laid on a living sould, it leaves a mark, a brand." ... like a handprint maybe? (22:33) Cas basically called dibs on Dean and admits it

Dean, I get it, Cas looks hot when he fights, but you don't have to look at him like this (24:42)

The amount of eye-fucking in this scene (25:56) almost 30 seconds (of Dean checking out Cas) of Old married coupleTM moments. Dean is worried about Cas dying again by the hands of an archangel. He just got attacked and wants to go out. But Cas has to go save the universe from a holy war. Basically a wife asking her soldier husband not to leave for the war.

[(26:28-26:30) Dean was totally looking at the BOOTY]

NOW FOR THE JUICY STUFF: Cas and Balthazar obviously had a history. More than brothers or war buddies. We could parallel them to Dean and Lisa: both old flames coming back after a long time and all.

Also, Balthazar can sense something is going on between Cas and Dean. It's so clear he can (35:26). ICWAW, we would assume Balthazar was an ex, getting jealous over Cas' new love interest

Episode 6:

"You asked me to be here, and I came", OH what about the whole 'I don't come because you call' thing? (13:40)

How domestic is this moment. Cas pouring Dean a drink, trying to comfort him (14:03). He hates seeing Dean like this, and hates even more the fact he can't do anything about it

Cas knows Dean is hurt enough already, and doesn't want to get him involved with a war that's not his to fight (14:20), but still wants to help

Episode 7:

Second time Cas starts stripping in front of Dean and he just stares (2:32)

Look, all I'm saying is... they really don't have to stand THAT CLOSE to each other (4:07)

Episode 9:

[Not a destiel moment but Dean struggling to say the words "gay guy" is too fucking funny to me (33:45)]

Episode 10:

Dean, will you not check out the angel in front of your brother, please? (11:54)

Dean is visibly uncomfortable at Cas watching porn practically NEXT to him, and having a BONER practically next to him. Understandable, but still... kinda gay (15:58) Look at Dean's face, my God (16:07)

[I'm screaming Dean looks like he's wondering what it'd be like to kiss Cas (25:29)]

"CAS?!" (26:23) the way Dean gets progressively more worried about Cas fading/being taken away and shit, kills me

[Cas is so fucking confused as to why Dean would suggest he'd let him have an hour alone with Meg (39:25), either that or he's embarrassed he might've actually wanted to. Meg and Castiel were cute together]

"If there's anything we can do-" "There isn't. I wish circumstances were different. *stares at Dean with puppy eyes* Much of the time, I'd rather be here." (39:46)

Also, Dean stares at Cas for 15 seconds, but averts his eyes when saying "We're your friends"? (40:01) Denial? Something's off. ICWAW, this would indicate tension, unspoken feelings

Just... the way Dean looks at Cas, and when he flies away (40:17) HIS EYES

Episode 11:

Balth jokingly calls Cas Sam's 'boyfriend', and Sam reacts normally, letting it fly over his head. When later in episode 17, Balth calls Cas "the angel in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you", Dean gets pissy. Just like later in 10x5. Touchy much? (13:48)

Balth admits he doesn't like Dean, and that "screwing him would delight me", but calls the one brother who threatened to crisp his wings, a "capable young man" (14:46). Jealous much? ICWAW we would read some sort of romantic rivalry between those two.

Episode 14:

This face... where have I seen this face before?

Oh yes, here

Dean looks at Lisa, the so called "love of his life", the same way he looks at Cas. Fuck my life

Episode 15:

"Cas" (Misha) starts stripping and Dean... stares... again (9:23)

"Well, Cas... now that you have your sword, try not to die by it." (39:53) Is it a saying? Or a reference to Dean being Michael's Sword? As in "He is gonna be the death of you"? And Balth looks at Cas THAT WAY?! (40:01) You can't tell me there was nothing between these two. Kill me now

Fucking stop being an old bitching married coupleTM already (40:25) you are hurting me

Episode 17:

Balth 'jokes' about Cas being in love with Dean (18:48) ICWAW we would read this as an ex being petty about the new love interest and teasing said love interest about it

Wow, jealous much, Dean? Again, ICWAW, this would totally be seen as jealousy for your crush's ex (27:30). And Dean, you're staring at Cas' lips again (27:37)

[Sam: "So, you killed 50,000 people for us?" Cas: *looks at Dean* "... No, I didn't... They were never born." (37:49) This is so stupid, but... sure, Cas... sure. That's what you ment.]

Cas makes a small speech about fighting for freedom, choosing your fate and all, while looking at Dean (38:55). OKAY SUBTEXT!!!

[As soon as Dean mentions boobs, Cas is gone (39:36) LOL]

Episode 19:

"It's not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude's busy. [...] Cas, get out of my ass!!!" "I was never in... your-" (4:28) and then they stare... Were you having unholy thoughts guys?

"Without your power you're basically just a baby in a trench coat" #MARRIED (10:38), "My friend is very sick." "I have a, uh... painful burning sensation." OH COME ON!!! (11:22)

"You know who whines? Babies. *pats Castiel*" (14:28) I'm sorry, pats him wHERE??!!

Dean saves Cas again (19:38)

The way Cas says "Dean, Dean!" (23:09)... I'm so fucking weak, and look at those EYES! (23:41) kill me now

"The kid... The little kid, he's one of them." "... Unbelievable." "Yeah, I know, Cas. You told me, all right?" (37:48) #MARRIED

Sam and Bobby immediately think Cas might be betraying them (39:31), while Dean won't even immagine the possibility. "This is Cas we're talking about!" (39:52)

Episode 20:

Even tho Dean can sense something is off with Cas, he won't bring himself to admit it. And the eye-car-sex. That. (4:44-4:53)

"You're distracted. [...] Is that all you're holding, huh? See... the stench of that Impala's all over your overcoat, angel." (6:20) this has such sexual undertones. ICWAW, it would be MENT as having sexual undertones. Also Crowley ships it

Dean protects Cas even tho clear evidence is there, and even feels bad about lying to him (12:06). And Cas feels oh so bad about Dean trying to be loyal to him, even when he was starting to suspect (13:18)

Dean still refuses to acknowledge the possibility of Cas' betrayal (19:56). His speech about Cas... I'm weak. "He broke ranks, gone to the mat, cut and bleeding for us, so many frigging times. This is Cas!" (20:10). ICWAW, this would be read as Dean having feelings for Cas, and as those feelings were getting in the way of his best judgment

Cas goes against the King of Hell to save the boys... but Dean first (21:48), and Dean defendes him against Bobby and Sam, apologizing for doubting about him. Cas hates having to break their trust

The look on Dean's face as he realizes Cas had been lying the whole time... BROKEN (23:35-23:49)

Cas doesn't want Dean to have to sacrifice more than he already had for him (25:19), and when Crowley shows up, Cas' first instinct is to look back at Dean protectively (25:30), and does that again before following Crowley (26:17)

Cas wants Dean to be happy, stay retired, even tho he was so longingly looking at him moments earlier (29:09)

"You gotta look at me, man. [...] Look me in the eye and tell me you're not working with Crowley." (32:38) the absolute desperation in both Dean and Cas, how HURT they look. THEIR EYES! Dean looks devastated

"I did it to protect you, I did it to protect all of you!" (33:09) one of the many "you, all of you" no-homo saves Cas pulls while talking to/about Dean

"I had no choice!" "No, you had a choice... You just made the wrong one." (34:21) how fucking hurt Dean looks. "Where were you when I needed to hear it?" THE EYES

"I was there... Where were you? *flashback to Cas looking back at Dean*" I'M DEAD

"It's not too late. Damn it, Cas. We can fix this!" "Run. You have to run, now. RUN!" (35:33) and they do, but Dean looks back at Cas, and the way they look at each other... STOP (35:47-35:52) ICWAW, this whole scene would seem like someone trying to save their loved one, and OH boy, that stare exchange would seem either a silent confession or a reminder of their feelings for the other

Cas visits Dean in the night, even tho they clearly don't trust him and don't want him there, and Dean leaves it be (38:06), and even apologizes for having to angel-proof the house against him

#MARRIED (38:28), "I'm doing this for you, Dean. I'm doing this because of you." (38:35) ICWAW... do I even need to point this out?

"Next to Sam, you and Bobby are the closest thing I have to family..." the look on Cas' face as Dean says this (39:15) "... that you are like a brother to me." did Cas' eyes just get more glossy? Poor baby. Also, ICWAW, by the way they interact, this statement would feel wrong on so many levels

"You're just a man. I'm an angel." ... why does it feel like Cas is telling that to himself more than to Dean? (39:43) "I'm sorry, Dean." (39:55) Kill me

Cas questions his decisions, asks God for guidance, the moment he understood he hurt Dean. He doesn't want to hurt Dean, but will do what he has to do to if it means he will be safe

Episode 21:

[Not a destiel moment, but "fragile masculinity" much, Dean? (4:20) "I was too busy having sex with women." (why do you feel the need to specify 'women'?)]

This Dean-Balth bickering has such current-former love interest fight vibes (8:52). Come on, ICWAW, this would totally be the case

Here's another Cas/Lisa parallel: how Dean acts here, looking for Ben and Lisa (13:11), and how he acts in S8 while looking for Castiel ("WHERE'S THE ANGEL!?")

Cas saves Dean again (21:46). "I didn't ask for your help." "Well, regardless. You're welcome." #MARRIED

They are both on the verge of tears... "I thought you said that we were like family." (22:22) They hate this situation. They hate not being like always, close, friendly, family

"Dean... I do everything that you ask... I always come when you call. And I am your friend." (22:39) the way he says 'Dean' and how his voice trembles. Dean is basically almost crying now (23:45)

"Dean, I said I'm sorry and I ment it." "Thank you... I wish this changed anything..." "I know.. So do I." (37:45)

[Alright. I do believe Dean really grew to love Lisa during that year they spent together, but I don't buy the "I always loved you, ever since that one hook up on that one weekend we knew each other for" shit. Dean wanted to give a try to the whole 'apple pie life' he'd promised Sam, with a good woman he knew Dean had feelings for.

If he grew to love Lisa over a couple of years after 1 hook up, I'm sure he could do the same thing for Cas after over a decade (he for sure would have already If Cas Were A Woman)]

Episode 22:

["You've always got little old me." "Yes... I'll always have you." (30:26) These two... Come on, they HAD to be ex lovers!]

"We were family once. I'd have died for you. I almost did a few times (Cas did actually, twice). So if that means anything to you... Please... I've lost Lisa, I've lost Ben, and now I've lost Sam... Don't make me lose you too." (39:55) ICWAW, this would be seen as a straight up CONFESSION

The hurtful look on Dean's face when Cas says "You're not my family, Dean.", and the terror when he thought for a second that Sam might have killed him (40:39)

["You will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord... or I shall destroy you." ... okay, Cas, honey, I get you are tired of waiting, but this is not the right way to get a confession out of Dean (41:20)]

[Season 7>>]