#and yes i posted something p long a lil while back. i wrote that after this lmao

[raineandsky]

#112

Villainy is at an all time low. It’s practically non-existent, and with it, the villains.

Heroes have tried hunting them down. Searched every corner of the city, every abandoned building, every dark alleyway. Something’s going on.

The agency is humming with nervous energy. Something’s happening. This is on purpose. The villains are in hiding because they’re planning something big. Where are they all? We have to stop them. They have to be somewhere.

The villains are gone for so long, the agency strung so high, the place practically explodes when a pair of heroes happen across one on their usual jaunt around the city.

The hero is in the midst of buying a coffee when they come through the doors with bright smiles and cheers of victory. The villain flails between them, screaming bloody murder, as other heroes crowd around with questions and praises. You found one? Where were they? What’s going on? Have they said anything? This is a good sign. Good job, guys. The start of the end.

The heroes continue through with their prize, others following them like a cape of praise and cheers, and the hero gets a chance to glance at the villain. A familiar face. One of the ones the hero saw frequently in the field, one they’re well acquainted with. Of course.

The superhero throws them into an interrogation room not even fifteen minutes later. The hero’s coffee is still half-full. Might as well play the optimist, considering the situation.

One of the same heroes as before brings the villain in. The villain is, to put it lightly, rabid. The hero can see the scratches on the other hero’s arms, though he doesn’t seem to mind. He’s still too busy basking in everyone’s praise to care.

“Be careful,” he says cheerfully as he wrestles the villain into the chair opposite. “This one goes for the eyes.”

The villain’s never done that to the hero on the streets. Something’s going on, they can agree with that, but something’s changed.

The other hero steps back with a grin as the villain snaps at him, teeth bared like an animal, and with a quick thumbs up to the hero he turns on his heel and leaves them alone with the villain.

Rage is not an emotion the villain has ever expressed outwardly. Anger, sure, but not quite this raw. They yank their hands desperately to try and free themselves, the chair they were put in already tipped over. The table jolts with the force, and the hero’s half-full coffee tips over and onto the floor.

The hero can only think to watch. They’re not going to get anything out of them like this. They’ll wait for the villain for them to tire themself out.

After ten long minutes, it’s clear that isn't an option. Where are they getting all this energy from? They’ve been in the agency before, back when they were amateur enough to get caught, and they were never this frantic. They sat quietly, answered the questions the hero threw at them, and casually broke themself out that same night.

“[Villain]—”

“Let go of me!”

The villain’s breath is haggard, their arms shaking with the effort, but they haven’t stopped. The hero’s confusion is turning into worry incredibly fast.

“[Villain],” they try, carefully, tentatively. “Where is everyone?”

The villain’s eyes snap up to them like they’re seeing them for the first time. The first thing the hero notices is that it’s not rage in their face—it’s terror.

The hero holds their hands out pacifically. “You’re okay,” they continue. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

The fear gets quickly masked by a layer of hatred. “Let go of me.”

The words come out calmer, quieter—seething. The villain looks like they’d break the hero in half given the opportunity. “Let go of me,” they repeat—and then, a little softer, “you have to.”

The hero’s heart pulls. A hint. Something to go off.

“Why would I do that?”

The villain’s pulling has slowed, their entire body leaning back against their cuffs. They sag slightly, exhausted, their eyes dropped to the table. “You have to.”

Less helpful a second time. The hero gets to their feet, glancing at the mirror to the side of the room. “I’m going to take them back,” they tell it, to the superhero inevitably on the other side. “We’re not getting anything out of them today.”

“No!” The villain cringes away when the hero reaches for them like they’re coming at them with a knife, and they almost throw themself back to their frenzy. “Don’t touch me!”

The villain kicks a foot out and misses, thankfully, as the hero cautiously edges into their space. The hero reaches forwards to detach the villain’s cuffs from the table, and as if the action makes something crack, the villain lets out a grief-stricken sob.

The hero steps back before they can stop themself, alarmed. The villain turns their face away with another choke of a cry, pushing themself as far away from the hero as the table will allow. “Let go of me,” they say again, but it’s not angry anymore. It sounds defeated. Scared.

The hero moves past them and they lurch back like they're contagious, watching nervously as the hero carefully sets the chair back upright. “Sit down,” the hero says gently.

They nudge the chair towards the villain. The villain stares at it for a moment, letting the first streaks of tears paint their face, before they give in and sit. The single motion is laboured, tired—how long have they been fighting back for?

“If you tell me what’s going on,” the hero prompts carefully, “we might be able to think about letting you go.”

“N– No, I have to go now. Before it’s too late.” Another hint, another step in the right direction. The hero glances at the mirror.

“That isn’t an option, [Villain], you know that.” The hero settles back in their own chair. “If you tell us what’s happening, though, we might be able to help you.”

The villain shakes their head shortly. “I can’t,” they mumble, and it comes out entirely heartbroken.

“Well,” the hero starts slowly, “let’s start with what you can tell us.”

The villain hesitates, but after a moment they nod, slight, barely perceivable. The hero nods too—a step in the right direction. The first hint in the giant puzzle that is everything.

[belphies-wife]

What Naps Are Like With Them (Everyone)

In celebration of my first post kinda blowing up, I wrote a little something for all the characters, including Luke! (platonically for him, of course)

Again, thank you guys for all the love on my Satan Reacting to Montero fic <3 I’ll be working on requests after this.

Also, no beta we die like Lilith.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Lucifer

➼ Never sleeps, e v e r

➼ His brothers would destroy the House of Lamentation in his sleep

➼Took a while to convince him to take a nap with you because of this

➼ His brothers listen to you more than they listen to their older brother, so you begged them to behave for a few hours so that their older brother can rest for once

➼ You will use your pact if you have to, just please let this man sleep

➼ You made sure to pick a day where you know Lucifer hadn’t slept the night before due to his workload

➼ Seriously, you had to talk to Diavolo about that

➼ You both got into your comfiest pajamas and played some soft classical music for ultimate relaxation

➼ You thought about taking a picture of hm while he slept

➼ He saw it coming and had you sleep facing away from him with his arms wrapped around you so you couldn’t turn around

➼ Smart bastard

➼  If you complain about it he’ll laugh at you

➼ Hey, at least you get cuddles

➼ Luci here looks so calm and peaceful while he sleeps, it’s adorable

➼ No wonder everyone tries to take a picture of him sleeping

➼ He’s a heavy sleeper, so you end up having to wake him up after a few hours

➼ He thanks you

➼ He’s well-rested and in a good mood for the rest of the day

➼ His brothers obviously take advantage of that

»»————-　♔　————-««

Mammon

➼ Unlike most of his brothers, he actually has a decent sleep schedule (most of the time)

➼ However, if you wanted to take a nap with him, he wouldn’t say no

➼ Well, he’d say no, but then say yes immediately after

➼ “Whaddya mean you wanna take a nap with me? Do I look like Belphie!?”

➼ Blushing like crazy while complaining, as usual

➼ “Fine, I’ll go nap with him, then.”

➼ “Oi! Come back here! I changed my mind, I wanna take a nap!”

➼ Tsundere baby

➼ Obviously, you tease him about it

➼ “Jealous, huh? I thought that was Levi’s thing.”

“Shut up! Are we gonna cuddle or not?”

“I said nap, not cuddle.”

➼ Cue the pout

➼ The definition of the 🥺 face

➼ Please love this child

➼ “I’m kidding, of course we’re gonna cuddle.”

➼ Usually a little spoon

➼ Unless he’s in a jealous mood

➼ If he is, he will hold on to you like his life depends on it.

➼ More teasing, obviously

➼ If you think about it, Greed and Envy are very similar

➼ Poor baby wants love

➼ New drinking game: take a shot every time I call Mammon a baby

➼ I shot of water, I know you’re dehydrated

➼ Anyways, naps with Mammon = cuddles

➼ Either you’re holding him to you or he’s holding you to him

➼ f o r e h e a d  k i s s e s

➼ Mammon gets nightmares about what happened with Belphie sometimes, so lots of comfort cuddles

»»————-　♔　————-««

Leviathan

➼ “Levi, did you sleep at all last night?”

➼ Obviously not

➼ He was up all night binge watching the latest season of “The Magical Ruri Hanai: Demo Girl”’s  spin-off series

➼ Why would you even ask?

➼ “Levi, did you stay up all night?”

➼ He looked away, a little embarrassed. “Uh, yeah.”

➼ “Levi, honey. You need to sleep. It’s not good for your health to be staying up so late.”

➼ Leviathan.exe has stopped working

➼ You’re worrying about him?????

➼ And you’re calling him honey?????

➼ Are you trying to kill him?????

➼ “You must be exhausted. Wanna take a nap?”

“Oh, uh. Yeah. I guess I could use a nap.”

“Alright. We should go to my room, since there’s more room on my bed than in your tub.”

➼ Wait you meant a nap together????

➼ You’re really trying to kill him.

➼ Usually, he’d make fun of you and call you a normie.

➼ But he was currently too busy dying.

➼ If somehow you managed to resurrect him and get him to your room to nap, then you’d know this shy boi is a little spoon.

➼ Does this really come as a surprise to anyone? It shouldn’t.

➼ He’s blushing like crazy the whole time.

➼ “Levi, if you can't sleep with me here, I can leave.”

“No!”

➼ He does sleep eventually.

➼ Sweet baby cuddles you in his sleep.

➼ Wholesome af

»»————-　♔　————-««

Satan

➼ As the most responsible one in the family, he has a pretty good sleep schedule, so he doesn’t normally take naps.

➼ However, if you ask him to, he’ll agree. 

➼ If it makes you happy he’ll do it <3

➼ He’s not really touchy-feely and won’t initiate any cuddling.

➼ Dude that you asked to nap because you were tired and wanted to sleep.

➼ Nah bro, you just want cuddles.

➼ While he won’t initiate any cuddles, if you make it more obvious that you want some, he’ll give them to you.

➼ Big spoon

➼ If you want him to be the small spoon, he will, but he’ll be flustered af.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Asmodeus

➼ “Asmo, wanna sleep together?”

➼ Could you have made a poorer word choice?

➼ No, you could not.

➼ This boy literally made the lenny face.

➼ “Asmo, I meant a nap.”

“Well, I suppose that’ll satisfy me for now.”

➼ You then proceeded to smack him with a pillow.

“Hey! Don’t mess up my hair!”

➼ You had to wait for him to take off his makeup and change his clothes and stuff.

➼ It’s a process.

➼ Cuddle’s tf out of you.

➼ He’ll be the big spoon or the little spoon. It doesn’t matter to him, so you can decide.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Beelzebub

➼ Takes naps with Belphie a lot and thought it was cute that you also wanted to nap.

➼ Pre-nap snack first, though.

➼ Then he’s ready.

➼ Sweet boi will enjoy the nap whether he’s a big spoon or little spoon.

➼ If you’re happy, he’s happy <3

➼ You kiss his face a lot.

➼ He thinks you’re the cutest little human ever when you do that.

➼ I’d say soft Beel, but when is he ever not soft?

➼ Not counting the custard incident

➼ He Likes to kiss the top of your head while you sleep.

➼ He definitely snores.

➼ It takes some getting used to, but you’re not gonna let keep you from cuddling your big boi.

➼ It honestly feels really safe and comforting to just be wrapped up in his arms.

➼ Equally comforting to have his head resting against you.

➼ Overall just really soft.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Belphegor

➼ You don’t even need to ask. He’s the king of naps.

➼ Being around Belphie for an extended period of time makes you sleepy.

➼ You’re not sure if it’s because he’s sleep or if it’s because he has some sort of sleep-power.

➼ Any time you cuddle you end up taking a nap.

➼ Do I even have to say it?

➼ S m a l l  s p o o n

➼ The smallest spoon.

➼ As the youngest, he’s the most spoiled, so he’s really really clingy and just expects you to drop whatever you’re doing at any given time to nap with him.

➼ I mean, you’d probably do it even if he didn’t expect you to.

➼ He does this adorable thing when he’s sleepy and he sees you nearby where he’ll go up to you and wrap his arms around you and rest his head against your shoulder and just say “Sleep, please.”

➼ You will stop whatever you’re doing no matter what and go up to the attic to nap with him.

➼ Not an exaggeration. It’s happened while Lucifer was talking to you before he he was p i s s e d.

➼ It was obviously intentional

➼ But how can you say no to his cute face?

➼ He seems to be able to keep you from having nightmares and you sleep 100x better with him than on your own

➼ Softest boi

»»————-　♔　————-««

Simeon

➼ While he may dress like a stripper, this man is an angel and is pure™

➼ Anything you want, you’ll get. How can he ever deny you a thing?

➼ He can’t.

➼ You want naps? You get naps.

➼ You want cuddles? You get cuddles.

➼ You want sleepy kisses? You get sleepy kisses.

➼ Hotel? Trivago.

➼ But seriously, sleepy kisses are definitely a thing.

➼ Especially forehead kisses.

➼ Big spoon. He likes to hold you.

➼ Sweet boy loves you so much 🥺

»»————-　♔　————-««

Luke (Platonically)

➼ Purgatory Hall has weekly movie nights, and they invite you over a lot to join them.

➼ You and Solomon have a very long list of human world movies you want Simeon to watch, but the poor man can’t figure out how Devilflix works for the life of him, so group movie nights are the only way.

➼ Not that any of you mind, of course.

➼ Luke begged Simeon to let him join you guys (he has a pretty strict bedtime)

➼ Simeon lets him occasionally if the movie is appropriate.

➼ Luke insisted on sitting next to you and sharing any treats he made that day.

➼ Poor baby ended up falling asleep not even halfway through the movie.

➼ Solomon obviously made fun of him.

➼ “Looks like it’s naptime for the little chihuahua.”

“Don’t tease him!” You say, defending Luke.

➼ At some point, Luke shifts so that he’s leaning against you in his sleep.

➼ You coo at how cute the ‘lil cherub looks.

➼ Aaaand then you proceed to fall asleep as well.

➼ You woke up the next day still on the couch. You were pretty confused since Simeon usually carries anyone who falls asleep to their bed (or the guest room, in your case).

➼ Then you realize Luke still asleep and wrapped around you.

➼ HE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS BABY EVER

➼ You assumed Simeon didn’t want to attempt moving one of you and risk waking the other so he just left you too

➼ Whatever it was, you went back to sleep with the little cherub snuggling you

»»————-　♔　————-««

Solomon

➼ Purgatory Hall sleepover!

➼ Everyone had already fallen asleep, so you asked Solomon if he’d be alright with you two sleeping together.

➼ Not a good idea.

➼ You’re both settled in his bed and you’re about to drift off to sleep when this silly little sorcerer decided to tickle you.

➼ You  s h r e i k

➼ “Solomon!”

➼ “Keep your voice down, dear. You wouldn’t want Simeon hearing and getting the wrong idea, now. Would you?”

➼ The  s m a c c  you gave him though-

➼ “Can I sleep now, or are you gonna keep bothering me?”

“You know you love me.” He grinned.

“Well, duh. But I also love sleep.”

➼ He does let you sleep after that.

➼ You fall asleep first, and one look at your sleeping face and he falls in love with you all over again.

➼ You’re so  p r e c i o u s.

➼ He held you close to him as you slept, pressing soft, featherlight kisses against our forehead and nose, careful not to wake you.

➼ He’s a bitch until you fall asleep, pretty much.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Diavolo

➼ It wasn’t intentional for you to fall asleep, really.

➼ You’d had a long day, and you had been sitting with the demon prince at his palace as he told you about his day over a cup of tea.

➼ It wasn’t like what he was saying was boring.

➼ No, it’s just that you were so tired, and the sofa you were sitting on was so comfy, and Diavolo was talking so much.

➼ It didn’t help that the tea that Barbatos had prepared was especially soothing.

➼ You couldn’t help yourself. You dozed off.

➼ Diavolo continued talking, and probably would’ve gone on for a long while without even noticing if Barbatos hadn’t cleared his throat and gestured towards your sleeping form.

➼ If it had been anyone else, he would have deemed it disrespectful. 

➼ But it was you, and he had realized a long time ago that he was incapable of being upset with you.

➼ “It seems they’ve had a tiring day, my Lord. I suggest you let them rest.” Said Barbatos.

“Of course. I wouldn’t dream of disturbing them.” Carefully, he made his way over to you and pried the teacup from our hands so that you didn’t move and break it in your sleep.

➼ Then, he removed his suit jacket and draped it over you like a blanket.

➼ Not gonna lie, even Barbatos was a bit shooketh. 

➼ He didn’t say anything, though.

➼ Diavolo kissed your forehead lightly and had Barbatos bring him the last of his paperwork for the day, which he finished quickly while remaining by your side.

➼ After that he picked up our still sleeping form and brought you to his room where he tucked you in.

➼ He sent Lucifer a text saying that you would be staying the night at the palace then went to sleep after answering a few emails.

➼ He snores loudly, but you somehow managed to sleep through it.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Barbatos

➼ Diavolo set up another palace retreat (because I said so)

➼ You had been assigned a room with Luke and Beelzebub that time.

➼ It went good at first, and everyone was sent off to sleep at around 10 p.m.

➼ At some point in the middle of the night, you awoke from a particularly nasty nightmare.

➼ You were more scared than usual when you woke up, since the room you were in was not your room at the House of Lamentation.

➼ It took a while for you to realize where you were and calm down, but even then you were to afraid to sleep.

➼ Slowly, you exited the room, careful not to disturb Luke and Beel.

➼ You made your way to Barbatos’ room and knocked softly.

➼ Briefly, you wondered if he was asleep, but then he opened the door.

➼ You silently panicked when you realized your hair was a mess and your clothing was rumpled from sleep, but your disheveled appearance didn’t seem to faze him.

➼ “Hello. I was just about to prepare for bed. Is something the matter?”

➼ Suddenly, you felt very, very silly to come to such an ancient, powerful being for help with a little nightmare.

➼ “Sorry, it’s nothing. I apologize for bothering you. I’ll leave.” You said, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

“You never bother me, my dear. Would you like to come in?” He asked, opening the door wider and stepping aside.

“Yes. I would like that.”

“Is something bothering you?”

You blushed. “I had a nightmare. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that. I know, it’s silly.”

“Of course it isn’t.”

“Can I... Can I stay here with you tonight?”

“If it would make you feel better, you may.”

➼ Barbatos tucked you in then sat next to you, gently running his hands through your hair. He began singing an old song in some ancient, forgotten language. His voice was soft and soothing as he sang, and you found yourself unable to stay awake even if you tried.

➼ “Goodnight, my dear.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Thank you so much for reading!

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[genshin-obsessed]

hi pocket! moth here, and as promised, i'm giving you word after word after word after word....

i got cicada to type some stuff down too since he also wanted to send something to you in congratulations!! <3 <3

----moth

congratulations on 6k! you're really rad and i genuinely think that you deserve all this support and love, it's just really nice to see that you've progressed so quickly and smoothly! you've put a ton of effort into things your write, your events, everything! your interactions with your anons are just so nice, and that's all because you're an amazing person!

when i joined the genshin fandom, you were one of the first blogs that i had run into, and that's pretty neat. at first, i didn't follow you, since i wasn't really used to your writing. but as i kept on encountering your works, i eventually grew accustomed to it- and i like your writing style! v swag :)

your oc, toxin, is just- perfection. i like the whole background thing, powers, but the fic i liked the most was the one where toxin attempts to poison you. my imagination can just run wild from there, picturing out what the character did after running out to go after toxin, but for zhongli's case how he took care of you + what he did after.

you, pocket, are a wonderful person- if you receive hate, you don't deserve it! 6000 seems like a large accomplishment, and it must've felt really nice to hit that number. a great person like you deserves the world, but the world may not deserve you. your presence alone on tumblr is practically a blessing, and i'm grateful for everything that you've wrote! not only that, but you've helped me become bolder and interact off anon. i think that's pretty neat, genuinely.

i'm sure many others think the same: ilysm(/p) pocket! even if i fall out of the genshin fandom(which i most likely won't bc of XIAOOOOOOOOOOOO <3 <3 <3 <3), i'll still revisit your blog. reading over your works always makes me crack a smile, whether it's angsty or not. your ability to write is amazing, and some of your works had even inspired a few of mine!

a collab with a person like you is like a dream come true. i look forwards to future interactions, and hopefully they're all positive! i support you no matter what, and you can't change that, hehe.

-your local xiao simp,

moth.

----cicada

hello, i believe you've never interacted or heard of me before? i go by cicada online, a friend that appears on moth's blog every now and then. they told me about your 6k followers, and i think that's pretty neat. to be honest when you told moth that you'd do a collab with them i was happy they chose you, since you're a really good person. pocket, thank you so much for everything you've done for me, moth, all of us- i cannot express my gratitude towards you, and i am proud of that because i can usually express my gratitude to others within words. however, since my gratitude towards you is off the charts, i cannot form it in words. regarding the collab, i will attempt to help moth with angst, however my help might not be needed. i thank you deeply, for fueling my everyday energy to get up. reading through your works gives me so much serotonin, and i appreciate that greatly. have a good day or night, perhaps afternoon, mx. pocket.

-cicada.

----any last words before we go sleep?

moth - ily, pocket! /p

cicada - thank you, congratulations. (note: get your well deserved rest, pocket.)

----goodnight, good morning, good afternoon wherever you are ! !

ok so like i genuinely started crying at this and I don't normally get very emotional. You both left me speechless, so that's one of the reasons why I'm taking so long to respond T^T

I'll split my response here to the both of you!

its kinda long- sorry xD also can I just call yall "the bugs" cuz its just so cute ;-; your names are adorable-

Moth, you are such a sweetheart. Like I said earlier, I'm not someone who gets very emotional! But your words brought tears to my eyes (tears of joy ofc) and it took me a while to respond because every time I saw what you'd written, I'd just have this giant smile on my face. I'm really glad you chose to follow me and I'm so happy you chose to talk to me! I always try to be fun and welcoming so that people who do wanna interact can do so, but I get it, there are so many people here it can get daunting.

But I'm glad you reached out! I'm so happy to have a friend like you! Ima be honest, the first few times you sent something in off anon, I was like "o.o they forgot anon-" BUT NOW LOOK AT YOU! Thank you, I really appreciate it. I'm actually pretty self-conscious about my writing but I try to do my best and post- even though I don't like what I've written, so your words really do help me! You're the type of reader every writer wants. Seriously!!

Ah, Toxin! Yes, I've had her as an oc for such a long time and then I finally perfected her! She's been in so many fics of mine and she's finally getting the recognition she deserves!! I'm glad you enjoyed that fic, it's one of my faves! I planned to do a p2 with some other characters but held off cuz I thought people would get bored- yet here you are, sparking my will to write it again!

I still can't believe I hit 6k! Honestly, that's so many people!! and they all like me and my stuff!! it's really hard to believe- there are days I think its a dream >.< silly, I know xD actually, when I first joined tumblr, it was because of BNHA and I saw this writer who had 10k followers at the time and I just was like "that's not even possible" yet here I am- 4k away T^T

I genuinely hope Xiao keeps you here, but if you have to leave for another fandom that's ok too! I can only hope we'll meet once again there too! I think some people in life are meant to be friends and are just meant to know each other! And I'll hope you're one of them! Cuz you're one of the awesomest friends I've had and I love you as well (/p)!! <333

-

Cicada, omg haiii!! I've heard very little about you since Moth took FOREVER to tell me there's another writer hidden back there!! I'm glad I got a chance to talk to you, even if it's like this! I'm not sure how much you know about me >.< seems like a lot so I'm sorry that I don't know that much about you!

Thank you so much, you're so very sweet and I can't express how happy your words made me. For a long time now, I always wake up and wonder how I can make my friends smile or laugh, and now that's extended to this blog. To hear how happy my writing makes people brings me so much joy that even I can't express it. I know there are many people out there who have lots of things to deal with in life and to know that my writing's helping them through that fuels me to write more!

I'm so glad I can do the same for you! We may not know each other- or maybe it's mostly on my end- but I still want to make you smile! I want to make everyone who stumbles upon my blog smile as well! Life can get hard and it feels so impossible sometimes but if I can give someone the energy to go on, then I'm pretty content with my own! Thank you for reading my works and thank you for telling me this because it really did make me happy.

Aw, thank you, I hope it's not too much! Though I specialize in angst (at least, I like to think so), I wanted to give Moth the opportunity to try! I'll do my best to make the fluffiest fluffing comfort you've ever seen!! Or uh something like that ^w^"

I really do hope that you and I can talk more so I can get to know you! Oh! And that google form- it was super adorable ^w^

-

You two are too kind and you best believe I'm saving this lil ask <3 you both very well made my entire week (along with that meme anon with those cute memes) and I'm sending you both hugs!! or cookies ^w^ whichever you prefer!

Also, it was nighttime when you sent this and now its 3am >///< i need sleep-

[a-sweet-pea]

Soup or Stew

A lil borrower one-shot starring Elle and James. Been meaning to dust this off for a while but I never wrote the intro. She’s borrowing for snacks in the cupboard when the bean shows up unexpectedly (don’t they always?). Hope this can tide folk over until I get some fresh stuff going!

- x -

“A wee mouse, is it?” The giant took the bag of sugar off the shelf below her, and leaned forward to peer into the dark back corners of the cabinet. She took advantage of the fact that his attention was elsewhere to tiptoe from behind the honey jar to the tall rectangular package of biscuits. I wanted one of those, she thought sadly. Oh well, another day. Though he was out of sight, Elle could tell by the sound of it that the giant was taking jars and packets of things off the bottom shelf; at this rate, she would be through the hole and back down the ladder before he even started on top one. “Wee sleekit cowrin, timrous beastie, whit a panic’s in thy breastie.” His voice vibrated the wood shelf beneath her; it sounded even deeper and larger echoing off the walls of the cabinet. “Thou need nae start awa sae hasty, wi’ bickering brattle! Ah would be loathe tae run an chase ye, wi’ murd’ring prattle.”

Her heart was racing in her chest. Good, then don’t. Keep on reciting poetry and stop rummaging around. She slowly edged around the back of the biscuits, past an unopened jar of peanut butter, toward the hole in the back of the cabinet. Freedom. She went the last stretch of it crouching low to the ground. So low that her knapsack tipped, and two thumbtacks fell out with a clatter that could probably be heard three rooms over. Dammit. She turned her head, just in time to see the giant’s face eclipse the light in the cabinet opening.

“Whit the…” His eyebrows shot up, his eyes widened. She watched another silhouette come across the light; a hand open and reaching. No, no, no, she thought, racing to the shadows at the back of the cabinet. You idiot, how could you be so loud, you are the worst at sneaking. The hand thudded down onto the shelf and swept back and forth on the spot where she had just been. Which meant that it was between her and the hole, she couldn’t even make a run for it. But, maybe I can sneak past it. Slowly, the hand moved across the shelf away from her, the fingertips brushing against the peanut butter jar and a few loose grains of rice. Good, she thought, taking silent trembling steps toward the hole. You just stay over there for a bit. It did not. Something large and soft and warm prodded her leg, almost knocking her over.

“Ah, there you are.” 

Her stomach dropped; she hardly had time to turn around before she felt massive fingers curl around the back of her and lift her up and out into the light of the kitchen. 

I’m dead.

-

James couldn’t believe it.

But he had to, because there it was, tumbling off of his palm into a little trembling heap on the counter. Not a mouse at all. A tiny human figure, no more than five inches tall.

“How are ye so small?” She stood up and fixed him with a deer-in-the-headlights type stare. “And whit were ye daein’ in ma cupboard?” She straightened the hem of clumsily-sewn purple dress and opened her mouth as if to speak, but nothing came out. After a silent moment, she crouched down, tucking her head down against her knees and covering her head. 

“No questions.” A muffled high-pitched voice came from the shaking ball. “Just get on with it.”

“Get on wi what?” He leaned down a little further, taking in the small details of her appearance. She had mouse brown hair tied in a low ponytail with a scrap of red cloth. There was a patchwork bag at her side, in which James could just barely make out a few recognizable shapes; a few thumbtacks, a paper clip, a torn off bit of a yellow post-it note.

“Squishing. Poison. Eating me. Whatever you’re going to do.” 

“Is that what you’re afraid of?” 

The little voice was stronger, almost pouty. “I’m not afraid!” James chuckled, and the little ball shuddered.

“Naw, of course you’re no afraid. Ye’ve got nu’hin tae be afraid of.”

“Is that so.” The ball didn’t move. She was such a tense wee marble; he just wanted to scoop her up and give her a cuddle, but he resisted the urge.

“Naw, of course no. There’s nothing scary about me.”

“So, you’re not going to boil me into a soup.”

“Ah dinnae like soup.”

“A stew then.”

“Soup and stew are the same ‘hing.”

Her head popped up, and there was something of an edge to her tone when she spoke. “They are not!”

“Aye, they are.” James tried not to let the excitement show in his voice. Her eyes were bright and her expression delightfully contrarian. “Soup is meat and vegetables in water. Stew is meat and vegetables in water.”

“That doesn’t make them the same thing!” She uncurled and sat upright, cross-legged. “You might as well say sandwiches and pizza are the same thing, just cause they both have meat and cheese on bread.”

“I would agree with that.”

“No, you’re not supposed to agree with that.” She rolled her eyes. “You’re supposed to say, ‘That’s ridiculous, no one would say that.’ Because it is, and no one would.” 

James laughed. “Well, ah said it, and I’m no hearing a counterargument.”

“That’s because I’m thinking of one.” She stood up and paced back and forth, scratching the back of her head thoughtfully. Outwardly, James remained passive. Inside, his mind was racing, trying to catch up with the events unfolding on the counter. Such a tiny thing. Why was she in the cabinet? Does she live here? Was that why his guitar picks had been disappearing; had she been squirreling them away in her tiny bag to use as plates or shingle a miniature house? He’d been a bit peeved at the time, but he supposed if they were being put to use, that wasn’t as bad as them sliding between a crack in floor boards, never to be of use to anyone ever again.

“Ahm waiting.”

“Well, you can keep waiting!” She drew her mouth into a thin line, and James laughed.

“Aye, I can. I’ve got nu’hin’ better to do this evening.” He sat back and watched her pace back and forth across about 8 inches of counter space like she was the Great Mouse Detective, until suddenly she stopped and turned to face him with a triumphant expression.. 

“There’s two pieces!”

“Two pieces of what?”

“Bread! A sandwich has two pieces of bread with stuff in the middle. And it’s just for one person. A pizza is a big round bread with stuff on top of it. Also, it’s for multiple people to eat.”

“Speak for yoursel, wee yin. Ah can eat a whole pizza, easy.”

“Well you shouldn’t.”

“Besides,” James crossed his arms and leaned over, resting them on the counter in front of her. He was close enough to see freckles on her face now, like grains of sand. “I thought the argument was about soup and stew.”

“It’s about establishing..a…precedent…” The girl froze statue still. Her gaze travelled up along his arm to his face. Her’s was a bit pale.

“Hey, dinnae go shy on me now.” He spoke as softly as he could, and watched as his breath blow a strand of hair away from her face. “I just wanted tae get a better look at ye.”

“W-why?” She clutched at the strap of her bag where it reached across her shoulder, like it was a safety harness.

“Have you ever seen oanybody my size before?”

“Yes, all the time. You guys are all over the place.” She gestured widely with her hands, avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, I’ve never seen oanybody like you.”

“That’s because we’re very good at hiding.”

“No that good.” James said it with a smile, but immediately regretted it. 

“I guess not.” The girl shook her head and looked away from him; raising a miniscule hand to wipe her eye. 

“Hey, dinnae dae that!” Without thinking, reached out and curled his fingers gently around her. She gasped and her eyes were like saucers as he lifted her into the palm of his other hand. “It was a joke, that’s aw; ah didnae mean it. I’m sure you’re great at hidin’.” Her eyes were wet, and pink around the edges, but she wasn’t crying anymore. She appeared to have short circuited.

“You…you p-picked me up. I’m…in your hand.” Her little hands prodded his palm. 

“Oh, aye. Sorry. I jist, I wanted tae gie you a cuddle, you know?” James was nearly as sorry as he probably should have been, if he was being perfectly honest with himself. He’d wanted to pick her up again since he put him down. She was such a fascinating little creature. Holding her felt not unlike holding somebodies pet rat; if pet rats could talk and nick office supplies.

“You…you weren’t just lulling me into a false sense of security so you could scoop me up and Science me?”

“Science you?”

“Y-you know,” she stammered. She hadn’t stopped rubbing his palm. “P-put me in a jar and poke me with a thermometer or something like that.”

“No. I am not going to science you. Or eat you. Or squash you. Or oany of that.”

“Promise?”

“Aye. Promise.” 

“Not…not even if I say something that makes you mad?”

“Wee yin,” he spoke as soft and gentle as he could. “There’s nu’hin ye could say to me that would make me want tae hurt ye.”

“Soup is a thin watery broth o-or a cream base with chopped meat of vegetables or noodles or fish or whatever suspended in it, and the proportions are lots of liquid to a little bit of solid stuff. Stew is always beef, and it’s cooked for a long time with vegetables, but never noodles or fish, and the liquid is more meat sauce than anything else, and it pretty much only barely covers the solid bits. So while I concede that they are in the same category of foods, they are absolutely different.”

James tilted his head and fixed her with a stony glare. “I am going to boil you in a soup.”

“Really?” The high, anxious tone of her voice took all the fun out of the joke.

“No, no of course not! Whit kind ae monster do ye take me for?” Her shoulders relaxed immediately. “Ah am hungry tho. If I made a pot ae mac ‘n cheese, wid ye have some?”

Her eyes just about rolled back into her head. “I love mac and cheese. But by the time I get to it, the scraps are stone cold, and cold mac and cheese is basically worse than no mac and cheese at all.”

“And its no soup, right?”

“No.” Her laugh was like a little bell ringing with a tiny goose honk in the middle. “It’s not soup.”

[lloronala]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

Fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au  / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / EH KINDA

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / SUBJECTIVE

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL / DEPENDS

How strictly do you follow canon? — Honestly? I just follow canon, and it’s sorta rare for me to do that cause usually I do have something to pick with the canon plot/characters at times? But the film was just that good for me to just leave it be, and even when I have slight doubts about it---it’s going to be considered as nitpicking. So, yeh, this blog is just canon all around.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — lmao spice? she’ll just step on you, literally.

I? am a terrible seller when it comes to these things lmao, but I guess if you want a mom tm muse to look after you---then she’s your deal. But I think acquaintance-wise/platonic relationships, she’s great too as long as you’re not on her bad side. It’s just hard to get it, but once you do, man will she be loyal and caring to your muse (until you break it).

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — 

I wouldn’t say it doesn’t make her interesting, cause I think it gives her a lot more depth, but she can either be temperamental or closed off depending on who your muse is. I guess just keep that in mind if your muse is someone that can set that off???? Idk?????? She’s also stubborn and holds grudges so, yeh. 

What inspired you to rp your muse? — Coco broke me and seeing this character on screen made me wanna explore her characterization? She has so many layers on her, and as an emotional antagonist, they handled her super well and I was really blown away by it! I also wanted to give her some attention considering how the franchise usually focuses on Ernesto, Héctor and Miguel (which there isn’t anything wrong with that!).

What keeps your inspiration going? — I like to write? And I think recently I’ve realized I like analyzing characters and what makes them interesting (it’s helping a lot with a few things I’m doing actually). She’s a great way for me to exercise that, and even if I’ve repeated things before via posts, I still like to ramble and explore her character regardless cause writing her also sorta comforts me ;v;

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( BOTH....? IDK )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO ( in between????)

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO (depends???????)

Do you accept criticism about your portrayal? — I do! As long as it’s addressed properly without turning it into unnecessary drama whatsoever, I’m always open for it. This goes for ethnicity/culture as well, considering I’m not Mexican myself. It helps me learn, & I think it’s important for me to know when I’m writing a race/ethnicity that I’m not familiar with. I don’t want to come off as disrespectful, as that’s never my intent, so please always let me know when I’m depicting or writing something wrong!

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — ABSOLUTELY. As I’ve said before, I always love exploring her character and if there’s an opportunity given when I can write my heart out about it, then I’m always down.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — I mean? I’d love to hear the perspective about it, and I think it depends on said headcanon. If it’s based on history accuracy, then yes I will be open to it. However, if it’s something like personal preferences/etc, then....well, I’ll respect opinions as always, but unless there’s an issue with it, I’d like to keep my headcanons as it is if it doesn’t cause anyone trouble.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — I won’t take it personally? I mean, we all have opinions---right? I’m not here to really....please anyone, so if you don’t like my portrayal, then I completely understand. But please don’t rub it in my face as to why.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — Okay. So. I had an issue a long time ago when a stan of a character in the same movie came to talk to me on discord. I can actually....tell that they were diminishing Imelda’s character, considering they were borderline kinda being sexist towards her (because the character they stanned didn’t like her so...)? I kind of regret not taking a stand on it, cause usually I’m not here to look for drama (ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S JUST RP), but I won’t lie and say it bothered me in so many ways because they KNEW I wrote Imelda and liked her as a character, but they didn’t choose to respect that (I fondly remember them saying said character would make fun of her so bad and call her names....something along the lines of it and ugh. not a pleasant memory). And there was that one other incident too regarding Imelda’s character being hated on by another....so, I’ll just say this once:

If you have a problem with Imelda as a character, that’s fine. People can hate on character and that’s absolutely okay. I have characters I hate too, and while I do opinionate them from time to time, I don’t go out of my way to shove it in front of everyone’s faces and tell them they’re the absolute worst. Just please be aware of how you’re saying it, and if it bothers you that much---why are you even following me on this account?? lol But, yeah.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — YES. I make mistakes ALL the time, and while I do gloss over drafts/answers before posting them out, I’m bound to still make them. So please, it’d be helpful if y’all pointed it out once in a while ;v;/

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — I try to? Like, this is a hobby for me, and I’m here to chill. As I’ve stated multiple times, I’m not here for drama and all that stuff, so.....I hope I come off that way? I really try to be laid back as possible, and while I might not respond fast/be too active, I’m always open to talk too (whether it’s just ooc or ic)! You guys are p great and I’m super blessed to follow/know some of you ;v;

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

Tagged by; gently taken from @hamadaxfighter Tagging; anyone!

[xero-chill]

just do it ➺ fluff??? i have no clue

pairing: renjun x a very indecisive reader

genre: crack w/ a wee bit of fluff

word count: 1,009

a/n: THIS is MY fIRST BULLETPOINT SCEnARIO OR SCEnaRIO IN GENerAL I HAVe EVeR PoSTed SO beAR wITH ME its proably mediocre i literally wrote this on a whim. but i had the sudden urge to write this because i’ve been having this conflict for the longest time because i’m a p****. i hope this is enjoyable to read

“iM GONNA DO IT”

“no you’re not”

“YES I AM WATCH”

“y/n, you are not put the scissors down”

you’re mentally preparing yourself for disaster

for The Longest Time, you've wanted bangs

more precisely, wispy bangs that are superrr popular rn

you have never had the balls to actually do it but nOW

you’re standing in front of your bathroom, scissors and locks of your hair in hand

renjun is just sitting on the toilet (he’s not shitting nasty fucks) (he’s just sitting on the toilet seat) (anyways)

you’ve been in this position for what?????

an hour?? maybe two??

in reality it’s only been 10 minutes but iT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY

inner conflicts can be effin hard

you’re looking at yourself in the mirror ready to just cut the shit already but of course, you chicken out

renjun sometimes looks up at you from his phone to see if you actually did shit but he knows you won’t do it

you’re too much of A Wuss to actually go through with something tHiS dRaStIc

you’re still standing in the mirror, hair parted and twisted ready to fucking cut but your hand with the scissors in it aren’t budging

you’re biting your lip in frustration in the mirror and renjun notices this so he speaks tf up

“do you really want these bangs????”

“yES i fucking want these bangs, sO badly”

you’re hands were shaking at this point

aND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT

renjun has stolen the scissors out of your hand and had cut A Large chunk of hair from the hair you have been holding

you’re eyes were still glued on your own in the mirror sO you couldn’t really process what just happened

renjun was just standing there...looking at you...waiting for a reaction

when you finally realize the lack of hair and scissors in your hand and all the hair in the sink, your eyes looked like they were gonna pOP right out of your skull

you look down and see the scissors in renjun‘s hand and a sly smile on his dumb face

(i’m just kidding his face isn’t dumb) (he’s just been fuckin with my emotions lately) (this is how i deal with it)

you look back into the mirror, let go of the now cut lock of hair and it makes you physically jump back

your Now Cut Bangs were still too long to actually be considered bangs but now you’re like too? excited? to? function?

“rENJUN!!!!! DO IT AGAIN”

do what again?? he doesn’t know

he just looks at you all confused through the mirror

your suddenly gRAB his hand with the scissors in it

wow you’re too excited

calm tf down

you’re gonna hurt renjun’s pretty face

and we don’t want that do we??

with his wrists in your hand you look up at him like you’re on fuckin ecstasy

“i want you to keep cutting my bangs!!!”

“oH um uh i-hm i don’t uh know um err about that”

renjun is scared because hE DOESNT WANT TO FUCK UP

but when he sees your smile he like melts into putty in your hands and is ready To Kill For You

he slightly nods his head and you let out the lOUDEST squeal

you twist your “bangs” again like how the lady did on the YouTube video then point at where you want renjun to cut

he looks unsure and does the lil head twist

ya know

that cute ass head twists idols do when they are unsure about something

yeahhhh that one

he inches closer to your hair but he gets hesitant and chickens tf out

“c’mon alrEADY”

“dO IT CHICKEN”

*incoherent chicken sounds coming from your mouth*

with one last Head Twist from renjun, he cuts your hair once again

you watch the hair fall with a wide smile and before you even look at yourself you’re dancing in a circle

cute fuckin bitch

when you get back in front of the mirror you can’t stop playing with them

you’re ruffling and picking at your Freshly Cut Bangs and renjun is just looking at you adoringly

you grab for the now off hair straightener you had ready for when you would actually cut your hair

you quickly turn it on and wait for it to heat up

while it does, you turn to renjun hands still on your bangs but you had the biggest n brightest smile on your face and renjun just had all the butterflies in his stomach

“don’t they look good??!!?!! :D”

“yes baby they look great”

“only because you did them”

renjun couldn’t say anything after that he just smiled a toothy grin while looking at you all lovey n shit

as you straightened and Bumped Up your bangs with your straightener renjun was still looking at your with all the love in the world

with hair bangs all perrrrrfecttttt you turn to renjun again and you just see this silly ass smile on his face

you have like a permagrin going on but you still cock your head to the side

“what’s up with that smile???”

“you”

before you could respond he just put his hands on your waist and pulled you closer

(THIS IS SOME FLUFFY ASS SHIT I DUNNO IF I CAN WRITE THIS WITHOUT IMPLODING)

you put your hands on his chest, not pushing him away but like, you like touching his torso

he leans his head so your foreheads were touching and you’re about to protest because yOUR BANGS YOURE PRECIOUS PERFECT BANGS

but before you could even open your mouth to speak he gives you a quick peck on your lips then nuzzles his nose on your nose giving you lil butterfly kisses

you just smiled at the proximity and closed your eyes

“i can feel your bangs on my forehead”

“yeah, you’re messing them up”

“you want me to pull away??!! :((((“

you pulled him by his shoulders when he tried going away and you pouted at him which just made him smile more

“no, don’t”

[mittensmorgul]

My boyfriend admitted yesterday after finally watching 13.1 that Dean and Cas DO love each other. He has no doubt in his mind that if Cas were female, Destiel would have happened. BUT he sees Dean as straight and doesn't believe anything could happen with Cas in Jimmy's body. I told him that this is heteronormative bi erasure and that as a bisexual, I find it offensive that he makes that assumption. What if these sorts of casual viewer opinions keep Destiel from ever happening? I'm losing hope.

Hi there! And congrats to your boyfriend for seeing the love there. :D

First off, no offense to straight dudes, but the straight dude I’ve been married to for 20 years has absolutely no sense of bifi. Or gaydar. I mean, if he sees two dudes kissing at Pride he’d pick up on it (and there are a few famous people who came out that he wasn’t surprised at all about– George Michael, Rob Halford, he was shocked that anyone was shocked…), but when it comes to closeted bisexuals who deliberately do not want to be detected, especially the way Dean performs dudebro heterosexuality as well as Dean does especially in early seasons, he just has no clue.

*insert that gif of Sam telling Dean he’s overcompensating*

The things about Dean that have been screamingly obvious because I relate to them from personal experience just don’t register to a straight dude who has never once questioned his sexuality (like Sam, for instance). To a person who has experienced it first-hand, a lot of Dean’s behavior reads as signal flares as bright as day. If it were only used for the occasional joke, or rare random things that didn’t fit into a much larger pattern, or if it were just enough to make me sit up and notice once or twice a season, I’d assume it was just a coincidence. But… it’s not a rare random occurrence. It’s something we see in nearly every episode, more and more blatantly as the seasons progress.

I tell everyone to read this:

http://destielhiseyesopened.tumblr.com/post/102023741956/slash-and-subtext-series

It’s a lot to read, yes, but it’s incredibly thorough and the sort of thing your neck will be sore from nodding along in agreement the entire time. :P

As for whether or not the show will go there, which NONE of us can say for sure, the one thing I can say for sure is that it will not be casual viewer opinions that will influence Dabb’s storytelling. He’s said it multiple times, that he’s going to tell this story his way, whatever that might mean in the end. Dude’s not telling. I mean, look at him:

So while it’s great to have hope, because we DESERVE representation in blatant and clear terms, there is no guarantee that we will actually GET it. I mean, that is a very real possibility. It’s why I personally don’t watch the show with any expectation for ANYTHING, you know? Then every new hint that they are taking this somewhere is a pleasant surprise. For me, watching from the standpoint that I EXPECT a certain outcome is just not an enjoyable way to live. It’s just too much to stress about.

And as I’ve said over and over again, just like Dabb, I personally couldn’t give a flying fuck with the mysterious “general audience” sees when they watch the show. I watch because of what *I* see in the show, because I like analyzing the story, writing meta (with the friendly reminder that “meta” has exactly zero to do with predicting the future of the story… that’s speculation, and aside from being able to read obvious twists and turns in near-future plot points, or understanding general character development arcs and where they could potentially be headed in vague general ways, I DO NOT ENJOY SPECULATION, especially when it involves the sort of detail that a lot of more casual fans seem to expect of meta writers. I AM TIRED OF FOLKS HAVING THE IMPRESSION THAT SPECULATION AND POSITIVITY FOR THE FUTURE OF THE SERIES AND CHARACTERS IS “”””META”””” BECAUSE IT ABSOLUTELY IS NOT.

Sorry for yelling, I needed to put that out there. Comments of “I love your meta!” when referring to headcanons and speculation about endgame destiel is just… missing the entire point. The meta is the long academic character analysis, the comparisons with the current arc to past canon, the examination of episodes THAT ARE ALREADY PART OF CANON. Looking to the future to make guesses about what COULD happen in the future is SPECULATION. NOT META.

I’m so tired of people who do not understand that giving meta writers hate and dismissing EVERYTHING we’ve written because a “prediction” didn’t come true on the show exactly as someone wrote it… A guess of what will happen in the future that doesn’t quite pan out doesn’t invalidate all the ACTUAL meta we’ve all written over the years. Because just like pr is not showrunning, speculation isn’t meta.

*even when the speculation is attached to the bottom of a really long meta post. The speculation bit isn’t the tl;dr of the post. it’s the interesting and fun little bonus bit after you’ve consumed the factual part of the analysis. It’s the little blop of whipped cream on top of the pie that is the actual important content. It’s mostly decorative and just a bit of fun.*

Thanks, this has been a meta writer PSA.)

The point of all that is that none of us have a crystal ball, none of us have some secret insider information into Andrew Dabb’s brain. Despite the fact that we’ve been watching his storytelling over the last 8+ years (yes, he’s been writing for the show since s4, and has written more episodes of Supernatural than any other writer, so we have A LOT of history to look over, not to mention all of s12 and the back ~third~ at least of s11 after he silently took over the showrunning from Carver to look at when trying to understand his pet themes and how he writes), the best we can do is make educated guesses.

I’m not basing my hope for canon on some ability to read the future, I’m basing it on MY ability to look at the entirety of extant canon and be objectively logical about where the story started, where the story is NOW, and as far as individual character development arcs based on having watched them all evolve over twelve plus seasons already…

Well, let’s just say that for *me,* I can see the characters have been on a logical emotional progression over the course of the entire series (that would be the “meta” part of things). As new canon unfolds, and characters continue to develop and interpersonal storylines continue to evolve… here’s a metaphor. The writers are walking the characters down a long hallway with loads of doorways open to potential future development arcs. As they walk past each doorway and don’t veer off course, it’s like they’re closing off logical possibilities to detour into alternate routes. They’re slamming and locking those doors up forever. The closer we get to the end of canon (in whatever nebulous future that the series will reach its end, and NONE of us know when that will be right now), the fewer doorways are left to walk past, and the less logical any detour from what looks (again, from reading the meta and looking back at the entirety of past canon) like the steady progression of development would be.

Does that make sense? I mean, they’re writing themselves into a corner (or into the end of the hallway where there’s only going to be one last exit door to walk through). But again, as long as there’s still hallway ahead of us, they could take an “easier” route or just decide to stop walking altogether and just sort of set up camp at their current point in character development. It wouldn’t really be sensible for the STORY as it stands right now for them to do either of these things, because if they start backtracking looking for a different door the entire narrative falls apart. Whatever they do, they must keep writing forward.

*stops and scrolls up and cries a lil bit at how much I wrote*

Point is, we just don’t know. I’m hopeful, I feel like we DESERVE to be seen and this love story absolutely DESERVES canon acknowledgement for what it is, and that every sign in past canon and every sign the writers are continuing to carry on down this hallway is pointing to it happening at some distant point in the future… but as of right now none of us have any idea what that eventual resolution will look like. What even is canon?

I mean, your boyfriend said he sees that Dean and Cas love each other. Is that canon? What would “qualify” as being legitimately canon? I love @bluestar86′s spec post about how easy it would be to make Dean’s bisexuality textually canon, but I have no idea if we’d ever get an episode stating it so blatantly. We might, though. We did have Dean asking a gay married couple what it was like settling down with another hunter…

The point is, even trying to speculate on what will happen in the future– especially something so unknowable and distant as “endgame,” is honestly impossible. We have no idea what will happen in canon between now and then in specific terms. In the meantime, I’m perfectly content to point and flail at what is actually happening in canon right now and paying exactly zero attention to what “casual viewers” think they’re watching.

I know exactly what I’m watching, and I love it.

Will they ever make it undeniably obvious and clear in canon? I mean, it is undeniably obvious and clear to *me* but everyone has their own personal biases and wishes and checklists of things they feel must happen, and no matter if the series ends with Dean and Cas getting married there will still always be people who deny it was “enough” to make their relationship obvious, you know? I just… don’t have the energy to deal with that level of denialism. It just stresses me out to worry about what “endgame” might look like specifically when as far as we know, “endgame” isn’t even on the table yet.

So by all means, if you can, take that small step back and try and enjoy the continuing story, and don’t put too much stock in anyone’s opinion of what may or may not happen in the future. But most of all, don’t put much much stock in what random straight dudes in the general audience think. Because Andrew Dabb doesn’t. :P

Wow okay that turned into a treatise…

[sanerontheinside]

*cracks knuckles* *grins* Questions: 8, 10, 13, 19. *cackles*

oooooh you lil shitLong Post, hit J to skipsorry mobile userswait neverfuckingmind I put it under a cut anyway wt f   k  e    n o  p  e 

8. What is one thing you would change about any movie, show, book, etc?

JA needs to burn, PT must be rewritten to fix various plot hiccups, the clones deserved so much better, Obi-Wan doesn’t deserve such massive levels of grief, and seriously some shit just don’t make sense. 

But at this point it’s also difficult for me to distinguish between what is actually canon and what is fanon, or a popular fandom interpretation of canon. 

Besides, there’s ReEntry. ReEntry makes sense. 

Canon, you’re drunk. Go home. 

13. If you could resurrect one dead character, or prevent them from dying, who would it be?

Qui-Gon Jinn. Finis Valorum. Asajj Ventress. Jango Fett. Tahl, Micah. Mace did not die. Padmé did not die, fuck that noise. … Shit. Xanatos. 

Long answers under cut: 

10. Do you think the Jedi were right or wrong?

Which time? 

Ignoring the Sith? Sending Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan alone to Naboo after a suspected Darksider if not Sith? Insisting that they would not train Anakin without offering a single alternative (what in the actual fuck)? Focusing too much on Anakin’s massive potential and Dark possibilities in his future rather than on the nine-year-old boy in front of them? 

Making Obi-Wan a War Councilor and spreading him thin as paste across most of Republic Space? Bending and bending and bending before the Senate until they couldn’t even fight back charges against Ahsoka? 

Allowing themselves to be run for hundreds of years by an old troll who is the last of his species, with only one other like him, who’s lost generations of friends and children by then, whose only way to cope with that kind of loss is probably repression, and leads to a shift of Jedi philosophy in that general direction? 

In some ways, an institution as old as the Republic was doomed to fail eventually. 

But, see, the Ruusan Reformation was built to prevent another war with the Sith, to safeguard the Republic against it. Sith were impossible because the Order of that time had taken great pains to wipe out every last vestige of Sith texts and artefacts, save what they kept to learn from themselves. 

Isn’t that funny? That’s when they decided to bring younglings to the Temple, to train them early so they would never get out of control and Fall. They destroyed the ancient texts, yet left the door open for the formation of a new and far more dangerous line of Sith. 

Yet the Ruussan Reformation wasn’t exactly something they’d readily agreed to. Back in the days before the Reformation, the Jedi had been a truly independent Order. They won the war against the Sith, and protected the Republic worlds with their own army and navy. But when the dust settled, the Chancellor of the Republic told them, well, the Republic will not trust you unless you give up your army and your navy, because they see you as a threat. The Reformation doesn’t say, not in so many words, that the Jedi will come to rely only on the Senate for funds and mission assignments. 

You know… the Chancellor at the time was named Tarsus Valorum. He was the first of his family, a line of noted Force Sensitives, not to go to the Jedi, but pursue a career in politics instead. And the Valorum we know of is a direct descendent. Finis, end of the line. Finis, end of the Republic, the Republic falls with him. Yes I am sort of hinting that Tarsus Valorum might’ve been a Sith. 

Anyway, clever headcanons aside, it’s so easy to point out where the Order was wrong, but by the time we see them? There’s hardly any ‘right’ to choose. Remember that Valorum had to go behind the Senate’s back to send Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to Naboo—the Sith certainly didn’t anticipate Jedi involvement. 

Still, you ask if the Jedi were ever right. When given the option, multiple times over the course of apprenticeship and Knighthood, to leave the Order, what did Obi-Wan choose? Anakin? They chose to stay. So, in the end, there must have been something right about that, don’t you think? 

19. What’s your opinion on legends/expanded universe?

Um. 

Well it’s… interesting. I periodically go diving into Wookiepedia, which is like broken telephone research in a lot of cases—there isn’t even a guarantee that the person who wrote the page got the point of the original source, or that a minor detail I would find immensely useful ever made it to the page. Some things are outright crazy. Some things are spectacular. Some things are outright spectacularly contradictory. 

Legends saw great potential, took it, ran with it, sometimes to Olympus and sometimes off a bloody cliff. JA can burn, but at the same time, while most of JA feels like a poorly-drawn caricature, characters like Zan Arbor are unforgettable. Were I to, idk, in some fever dream, decide write Sidious as a woman, Zan Arbor would be the place I’d start, I think. Certain JA events seem to me important enough to keep. 

On the one hand, it was nice to get hard details on the shape of economic warfare the Sith waged on the Republic. On the other hand, Sidious’s origin is the most bizarre bit of horseshit I’ve ever seen summarised on a Wookie-page and the very idea that Plageuis was still alive near the time of Naboo makes me shake with rage because it (high on the list of shit I thought I never would say) robs Palpatine of something vital to his character. 

In much the same way, I can’t stand that TCW overwrote the comics’ ending for Valorum, even showed him active in politics again like his career hadn’t ended with the Vote of No Confidence. That was a death sentence in itself. And, since TCW can technically be considered Legends material, parts of it I simply cannot accept. It filled an important blank, when it came to the ROTS portrayal of Order 66. In ROTS, it looked like some grand conspiracy, but the introduction of the chips was wrenching and necessary. TCW did a lot for clone feels, and for our feels for secondary characters in the movies—like Plo Koon, yes, hello, you can pry my favourite Jedi dad from my cold dead fingers. On the other hand, Maul, suddenly returned to life? There are ways that can be done, and done well. This, in my view, was not one of them. 

Rebels… I haven’t seen Rebels, so this part should be taken with a grain of salt, but little individual plot points I’ve seen fill me with no great confidence. I’m seriously spoiled by @deadcatwithaflamethrower RE:JotW Echo timeline. Actually overall I’m spoiled by ReEntry. 

Yet, it’s the Legends tab of Wookiepedia that gives you a much richer understanding of Twi'lek and Ryl culture. Say what you will about fetishising and misogyny—and fandom is certainly prone to that when given Twi'lek slave culture as a vehicle for it—it’s incredibly interesting to see how Twi'lek culture changed, adapted, took advantage of others’ perception to hide something far more deadly, their very own Resistance movement. Whoever went so far in depth with Ryl and Twi'lek culture knew a thing or two about what they were doing. 

Similarly, the Legends expansion of Mandalorian culture is spectacular, and sheds an uncomfortable light on the TCW Mandalore. At times, certainly at times like these, conflict between different Legends sources is incredible. (Though, give me a reason to take Satine down a peg and I’ll take it, and I’m still not sure that isn’t ingrained misogyny on my part.) 

I can’t speak to Legends’ treatment of female characters, either. The characters I am familiar with? Ventress, Komari Vosa? Those stories don’t end well. Unfortunately I don’t have much time or, truthfully, inclination, to research every single character who exists only in the comics and books, particularly if I don’t often work with that part of the timeline. 

ask me things | sw ask meme

[sunshine-captain]

do you have any good star trek novel recommendations? (tos please!!)

Yes! I do! I’ve been meaning to make a post about this for…so long, whoops, but I’ll answer this ask instead! (might still make the post someday, idk tbh. I probably should though because since I have so many Trek books I haven’t read yet, I might like more enough to rec them, haha.) Okay, anyway… (By TOS I assume you mean the original Enterprise crew, I hope it’s okay that not all of these actually take place during TOS, aka the five year mission.)

Sarek by A. C. Crispin You might have seen me mention this one the other day on my blog; I really love it. It takes place post TUC, Amanda is dying and Sarek is uncovering a plot that’s way bigger than anyone realizes at first… Also there’s some stuff about Jim’s nephew Peter (from the episode with the farting flying pancake aliens? lol.) and yeah, it’s a great read. All the parts with Sarek and Amanda are lovely and sad and the plot is interesting and it’s just all around enjoyable.Definitely recommend.

Collision Course by William Shatner This is the other one I mentioned on my blog already, and this one is probably my favorite Trek novel. Spock is nineteen and Jim is seventeen when they first meet, and they’re both too smart for their own good and get into trouble and…well, all the things you expect from Jim and Spock. It was originally supposed to be the first in a series, but for various reasons, there probably won’t be any more (CRIES) but this one is so good. And it doesn’t end on a cliffhanger so it’s okay. I especially enjoyed tbh how Bill appreciates what an effect Tarsus would have had on Jim (this is only three years later, after all) and it’s still very visible on lil’ Jim. Not a spoiler, bc a reference is made to Tarsus on…literally the very first page. Lol. Anyway, this one is really fun and sometimes sad (bc Tarsus) and just really great! Also, at least one of the plot twists genuinely surprised me, which is rare… I normally see them coming a mile off in Trek novels. ;) (Which doesn’t usually take away from my enjoyment, tbh!) But I really appreciate when they can surprise me.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture (novelization) by Gene Roddenberry You knew this was coming. This is an absolute must read if you’re a Spirk fan, tbh. I’m not all the way through with it so far, about halfway done, but I can tell you it’s a much better way of telling the story of TMP than TMP. Lol. The movie has this simple feeling and Jim rushing to Spock on the bridge and saying his name like a prayer and other things, but it also has all those dreadful special effect sequences. And the novel has its own gay to offer. I don’t necessarily agree with the way Gene wrote Jim (in fact, it’s been forever since I picked it up but I distinctly remember being bothered by it), but…yeah, at least borrow a copy from someone and witness the gay parts for yourself, haha.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (novelization) by Vonda McIntyre I’m going to go ahead and say right now that if you’re going to read the novelizations, go for the ones by Ms. (Mrs? idk) McIntyre. She wrote 2, 3, and 4. I haven’t read 3 yet, but I have read 2 and 4 and I like that she actually adds in scenes and stuff that weren’t in the movies. It makes me feel like I’m actually getting something additional for my time even though I’m reading a novelization of a movie I’ve already seen. I like this one, because there was quite a bit that wasn’t in the movie (I have a hunch the extra scenes, at least some of them, might be based on the script? because the scene with Sulu’s great….something or other grandfather as a child meeting Sulu is in the book, and I know they tried to put that in the movie but never managed to. anyway.) But yeah, there’s actual stuff in there that’s not in the movie! that’s the way it should be. Also…she ships Saavik/David pretty clearly. :P Like I said, haven’t read TSS novel yet, but I know she was working it into 2, and it’s mentioned in 4 as a thing. Anyway…good stuff! This is the one where the whole “Vulcans get drunk on chocolate” thing comes from btw :))) (Avoid the novelizations by JM Dillard! Avoid!!! I’ve read them and they’re not good.) (Oh and pretty much everything I’ve read by Vonda McIntyre I’ve enjoyed, she’s a good Trek writer.)

Dwellers In The Crucible by Margaret Wander Bonnano Margaret Bonnano is another writer I just generally recommend bc I like all the stuff by her that I’ve read, too. Anyway… okay so let me say that this book’s main characters are not Jim and Spock. I know, I know. But wait!! It’s so worth a read!! Jim and Spock are in it, not much, but when they are they’re literally so married and explicitly confirmed to be t’hy’la… :)) it’s great. okay anyway. The main characters are a human named Cleante and a Vulcan named T’Shael. They are ladies. THEY ARE GAY AF. OKAY. THAT ALONE MAKES IT WORTH A READ. it’s so glorious.I mean the book only says they’re friends but…in the same way Jim and Spock are friends in canon. they’re super freaking gay. and also there are like a thousand incredibly obvious parallels between our human and vulcan lady and Jim and Spock. it’s fun. also Sulu goes undercover as a Romulan. :D yeah, just…read it. it’s great. (it made me angry at one point. I’m still angry. but I recommend it.)

Ishmael by Barbara Hambly This one was, for me at least, just a genuinely good read. I really enjoyed the plot. So…Spock goes back in time to 1867, not willingly I don’t think. And he gets amnesia. So right there are two tropes I ADORE (time travel and amnesia, I don’t care, I LOVE THEM.) He lands in North America, in Seattle if I remember correctly. And that’s the plot pretty much. Haha…okay, there’s a Klingon plot, the Enterprise crew searching for Spock, Spock trying to adapt and hide he’s an alien while bonding with the members of the community he lands in. Also Jim and Spock’s reunion is a bit gay. (Warning for spoilers if you click that? it’s pictures of when they find him near the end, so. Yeah.) I just really enjoyed the book in itself, the plot and everything. Fun!

Enterprise: The First Adventure by Vonda McIntyre In light of the tv series called Enterprise, the title of this one might be a little confusing… But it’s most definitely TOS and has nothing to do with Enterprise, haha. The premise is that it’s the first voyage of the Enterprise with Jim as the captain. And the mission is…to transport a theater troupe. It’s ridiculous and so silly, I know, but it’s really fun. There’s a winged horse, a really un-Vulcan Vulcan (I think he’s Spock’s cousin? I don’t really remember tbh), Spock heckling the theater troop, Uhura being a good friend to Janice…that’s all I remember off the top of my head, but I remember really enjoying it when I read it! 

Unspoken Truth by Margaret Wander Bonanno Remember what I said about those two writers? Lol. Okay so this is a Saavik-centric book. I really love Saavik, okay? So, as you might know, Saavik is half Vulcan, half Romulan. Well in this book (actually, in a bunch of books, by at least three different writers, it seems to be her accepted backstory in the novels) she was the result of a terrible experiment by Romulans, and when it didn’t work out, she and a bunch of other children were abandoned on a planet called Hellguard, and…some really horrible things happen. Anyway, Spock saves her, mentors her, and Amanda and Sarek basically adopt her (literally, she calls them mother and father, IT’S MY FAVE), well anyway, years later, either after or during TVH, she learns things are happening to the survivors of Hellguard…and the story goes from there. This was really good! Intense tbh. I loved it, but then, I love Saavik. If you don’t like her… But if you do, you’ll enjoy this one!!!!

Doctor’s Orders by Diane Duane Diane Duane is another must read author. All her books are excellent. In all honestly, I don’t remember too much about the plot of this one, but I know I liked it! Dr. McCoy is like “you can’t make me take command on the bridge” and Jim is like “uh actually I CAN” so he does and of course on McCoy’s very first day watching over the bridge Jim goes AWOL and shit starts going down. Poor Bones. Also, there’s some crazy aliens in this one, but they’re interesting!

The Vulcan Academy Murders by Jean Lorrah This one has such misleading cover art, lmaooo. At least, the version I have. There might be others… Anyway. Patients at a hospital on Vulcan keep dying and stuff, and then Amanda is in trouble. Lots of Sarek and Spock and Jim and Bones interaction. It’s a good one. (It’s been soo long since I read this one, too, sorry. But again, I know I enjoyed it!)

Uhura’s Song by Janet Hagan I love the alien species in this one. They’re like giant cats, and I love cats. When I read it, I got really into the planet and the species and their culture. The plot is that an old friend of Uhura’s is from this planet, and they “exchanged songs”…songs are a big deal in their culture. Anyway, there’s a plague threatening everyone on the planet and humans, too, and they think a song might hold the key to curing the disease, so they all go down on the planet to try and find it.

Strangers From The Sky by Margaret Wander Bonanno The plot to this one is…kind of hard to describe. Okay. So the parts with Jim and Spock go back and forth in time, part of the time being like, post-all the movies (I think) where they’re old friends (and really married, they’re just like. Margaret Bonanno has this way of inserting this really easy, casual intimacy they have with each other, and calling it friendship when OBVIOUSLY they’re married af, but either way I love it) and part of the time being very early on when Jim hasn’t been in command for long and he and Spock didn’t care much for each other (I mean personally I think they liked each other quite well from the start, but I’ll let it go, lol)… And then there’s a book. In the book. That everyone is reading and obsessed with and Jim starts reading it… It sounds weird, I know, but the book in the book is the story of the first time Vulcans came in contact with humans, long before the OFFICIAL first contact, it was when Vulcans crash landed on Earth and were discovered by some humans… I fucking love Vulcans, so that is obviously a great point of interest for me. Lol. Anyway when Jim reads the book he has nightmares, but then he discovers Spock has those nightmares, too, and it’s more than ‘just’ a book. Probably sounds bizarre but I really enjoyed it. ….and doesn’t every Trek plot EVER sound bizarre af when you try to describe it?

That’s all I’ve got right now!! This got so long I’M SO SORRY TBH BUT I HAD TO BE THOROUGH.

[sweetnestor]

crankgameplays livestream 4/25/17

(((lmao im 2 days late i was at the movies when he did this)))(((also should i do this for every stream he does??)))

Hes eating popcorn ‘even though its greasy and i broke out!!!’

Forgot to take acne meds for like a week and he broke tf out :(

Still cant record in his new place which is why he decided to stream

Fave dog breed is portuguese water dogs bc those are his doggos back home :’)

Hes excited for tour and hopes ppl will go :D

It was fun making the tour announcement video, but he realized how out of shape he was afterwards

He should be going to vidcon, and while he said that he bit down on a kernel and it really hurt :(((

Doesnt rly care what ppl think abt his acne, he just really wants to get rid of it

Says good luck to everyone going thru finals!!!! Also says to make sure to give urself a break and not to burn urself out!!!! Drink water!!! Eat food!!!!

Moving from maine to california was really scary for him bc he never lived anywhere else before and he went from a small town to a big city

Mainly says to be smart abt spending and things bc ‘when u dont live with ur parents anymore things get fuckin expensive!’

Someone was making him a friendship ring for when they meet him, and they asked for his ring size, which he doesnt even know :p

Secret to adulting: no one knows what theyre doing

Eats mac n cheese with a fork apparently, spoons are for ice cream

Was originally just gonna keep the blue hair after dyeing it once, but he ended up really really liking it so he kept it

What was your dream job in high school, ethan? “this right here!! Youtube!!” :’)

Never finished the last guardian bc there were technical difficulties every time he recorded, so he’ll probably stream it at one point

Is it hard being a youtuber? ‘Yes and no. its not like labour work but it is hard work’

Puts 16-18hrs youtube work when hes not doing video stuff with mark :o

PLENTY OF PPL HAVE ASKED HIM TO THEIR PROM :’)

Recommended several places to eat in la (didnt catch the names fUCK)

Do i have to donate for him to answer my question?? ‘No no not at all!!’ HOLY SHIT HE ANSWERED ‘yeah cos im just reading the chat!!!!’

*continues being flustered over ppl donating*

*chokes on a kernel mid sentence*

Fave part of youtube is meeting ppl in the community and talking to all of us :’’’)

How do u deal with ur peanut allergy? He has to read ingredients and ask at restaurants if they us peanuts or peanut oil in the kitchen,and if they do then he wont order there :/

He enjoyed 13rw but there were things he didnt like, like the dialogue

‘Aahh im not that cool im kinda dumb’ -after ppl say how much they like him and his videos (shut the heck up ethan ur cool shhh)

Has decent eyebrow shape, never has done anything to them

Surprised he hasnt recorded with tyler, amy, kathryn for his channel

Doesnt have anxiety, but really feels for people who suffer from it daily and hopes theyre doing okay (thank u lil bean)

Might not get a po box bc itll probably get out of hand

Wants to record VR stuff so bad but he aint got space at the moment :(

Doesnt think he’ll make a public video of him singing

hES GOT AN UNLISTED VIDEO THO WHAT (someone link me pls)

Ppl frequently ask if he would ever record with a smaller youtuber and he says as much as he’d want to help them out, he wouldn’t do it just so they can benefit off it, he’d want to do it bc they’re friends or something

He’s not much of a reader due to his attention span, he’ll be reading and then starting thinking about something else and then 5 pages later he realizes he hasn’t read anything at all :/

He doesnt like when ppl touch his hair :(

Or his butt :(((((

Someone grabbed him at pax and it was p aggressive :/

Be gentle with the boy ok :((((((((((

Doesnt know if he wants kids, like he’s only 20 so he don’t know

Can i call u daddy? ‘I’d like it if you didnt!’

Tattoo plans? Wants to get his first at some point in the year, doesn’t know what he wants, possibly a nitw tat :o

He gOT A UKULELE HECK YEA

Fave dodie song? *goes on a long ramble abt dodie being v talented* :’)

If u see him in public, dont be afraid to go say hi :)

He might dye his hair white or something but definitely not anytime soon, he also wonders how it would look completely black

Went to gymnastics camp when he was ‘a little lad’

Ppl frequently ask his sexuality, *sings straight white male*

He dreams in color

Conventions in the summer: vidcon in june, indypopcon in july, pax west in september

Wasnt feeling too happy the other day, gets through it by telling himself that tomorrow will get better, or that things will get better over time, reach out and talk to people 

He wrote a long tumblr post when he was having that shitty day

*dancing to music*

Disney movies he likes: the jungle book, the little mermaid, the lion king

*moving around rapidly* stop lagging stop lagging stop lagging stop lagging

Gave specific tips on how to do backtucks (is that what it was i couldnt catch the word on time)

Headed out bc he has to get up early the next day

Said thanks to the ppl staying up late in different time zones

Appreciates ppl who donate, but doesnt encourage

[reitziluz]

get to know me meme!

..... a mutual did this and said people feeling up for it should do it so....

i’m not tagging anyone but feel free to do these

1. What is your full name? Rene

2. What is your nickname? Rellu, Rensku

3. What is your zodiac sign? Virgo

4. What is your favorite book series? uhhh ASOIAF maybe

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? i like the idea of residual energy... and ofc there’s other lifeforms floating in the endless space

6. Who is your favorite author? ME MYSELF i’m honestly not sure, there’s no-one whose all works like to the same degree 

7. What is your favorite radio station? ... rock/heavy metal station

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? mmm choco? or like this salsa/cheese combo. also cola.

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? excellent, gorgeous, fucking perfect

10. What is your current favorite song? this one

11. What is your favorite word?  i don’t... have one. maybe しまう?

12. What was the last song you listened to? this one

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch?  in the flesh, mushishi

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down?  i don’t like movies that much? ... one piece movies

15. Do you play video games? yes occasionally

16. What is your biggest fear? death, heights

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion?  insight/confidence combo?

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? arrogance... small-mindedness, as in not being able to throw myself as deep into stuff as i feel like i should....

19. Do you like cats or dogs better?  cats

20. What is your favorite season? winter or late fall

21. Are you in a relationship? mmmm when aren’t you in relationships?? but yea i’m in several relationships as this question seems to be angling for...

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? structure and relatively low pressure

23. Who is your best friend? poronen and also revy my dearie. there’s a couple more conventional/old past besties too that i still hold close to my heart.

24. What is your eye color? dark-ish gray-green-blue

25. What is your hair color? dirty blonde, dyed red

26. Who is someone you love? my friends my family my datemates... myself...

27. Who is someone you trust? i trust p much everyone until proven wrong

28. Who is someone you think about often? bisexualwinry and poronen again lmao, also... uhhh whichever characters i’m obsessed most recently

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? next installations of friends’ fics, my own fic chapter lmao, a homewarming party of an ex i’m friends with...

30. What is your biggest obsession? currently a couple vocaloid producers and mp100. long term.... ffvii and vampires.

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? pokemon and moomins

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? fuck your idea of there being an opposite!! i don’t have an opposite!! i can tell my dearest friends anything, regardless of gender or lack of it!!!!

33. Are you superstitious? not really, tho i like some of the practices

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? no

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? front~

36. What is your favorite hobby? writing, drawing, weightlifting

37. What was the last book you read? i’m not sure but i’m going to say villon’s testament

38. What was the last movie you watched? uhhhh maybe ghost in the shell? the first one.

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? tiny bit of guitar

40. What is your favorite animal? cats

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i can’t really say, i like following my friends (you know who you are i’ve msg you all basically)

42. What superpower do you wish you had? i always answer these the same way: absolute shapeshifting. 

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? in my own room around midnight OR with good friends anywhere

44. What makes you smile? anything exciting, really

45. What sports do you play, if any? uhhhh i did medieval swordfighting for a while but nowadays i dream of getting back to lifting and running

46. What is your favorite drink? water, coke, all coffee drinks, wine

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? probs within a week, we communicate between flatmates with these lil post-it notes

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes holy shit so bad

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? when people are allergic to fun/are contrarians

50. Have you ever been to a concert? yuppp a couple times

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? yes

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? an author, but before that a paleontologist, and before that a circus princess

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? eugh idk almost none of them??? somewhere where it’s p idyllic

54. What is something you worry about? planet dying, economy crashing, getting back to my own two feet after this horrible mental crash i’ve been going through all spring...

55. Are you scared of the dark? a lil bit, puts me on edge

56. Do you like to sing? hell yea!!

57. Have you ever skipped school? so many times

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? my parent’s house, this one street in kyoto...

59. Where would you like to live? honestly? in the center of the city i’m living in now, or the capital... ... or kyoto or tokyo...

60. Do you have any pets? no, flatmate has cats tho

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? night owl but a fairly balanced one

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? either is good

63. Do you know how to drive? yes

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones!! but i use buds more, more practical.

65. Have you ever had braces? yes.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? metal. like the sorta frilly vampiric neoclassical metal tons of jrock bands do?? but i like a huge variety of genres.

67. Who is your hero? gotta be my own hero

68. Do you read comic books? rarely, if we don’t count manga

69. What makes you the most angry? petty pointless shit

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? on my phone

71. What is your favorite subject in school? languages/literature

72. Do you have any siblings? four of them, two big sisters and two lil brothers

73. What was the last thing you bought? .... some food? uhhh boxers?

74. How tall are you? 168 cm ish

75. Can you cook? yes

76. What are three things that you love? storytelling, good food, good laughs

77. What are three things that you hate? generic bad injustice shit in the world, people who make fun of others for things they like, lmao my current writer’s block towards my main fic ahahaha ;;;

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? seriously fuck these questions? most of my friends are nb

79. What is your sexual orientation? queer and complicated

80. Where do you currently live? Turku

81. Who was the last person you texted? a friend

82. When was the last time you cried? i have no clue, i don’t cry often

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? everyone who subs vocaloid stuff

84. Do you like to take selfies? yessss 

85. What is your favorite app? just my JED fhgadhadh

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? a bit distant (due to physical distance) but warm and friendly and supportive

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? .... this seems strange but uh. no specific preference? throaty languages, french and arabic and russian come to mind...

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? TOKYO ive been to japan twice and lived there for a while but never managed to visit tokyo

89. What is your favorite number? 11

90. Can you juggle? a lil bit?

91. Are you religious? anti-religion more like ahaha

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? both, both is good

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not really but then again i do tend to take things as challenges...

94. Are you allergic to anything? this one is a weird one. there’s a chemical that does cause some sorta reaction? it’s in some cardboard boxes and used in treating hemp rope..... 

95. Can you curl your tongue? yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? anytime i can’t wiggle out of it like “oh true yes that’s what i meant i was almost correct the first time” lmao

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? ... forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? it’s okay to half-ass things, it’s better than not doing anything

100. Are you a good liar? i think so

101. What is your Hogwarts House? gryffindor not slytherin shut upppp

102. Do you talk to yourself? sometimes

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? ambivert? sorta more extrovert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? nahh not really

105. Do you believe in second chances? yes

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? if there was no-one nearby who could have obviously dropped it... or who could see... i would pocket any cash and take the wallet itself to lost and found.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? yea.

108. Are you ticklish? no

109. Have you ever been on a plane? yes, several times

110. Do you have any piercings? fourteen and planning to get more 

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? not really anyone...

112. Do you have any tattoos? yup a big fat nb koi on my left calf

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? going ahead with transitioning

114. Do you believe in karma? no

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? glasses! really strong ones too lmao

116. Do you want children? no. wouldn’t mind co-parenting someone else’s kids if that sorta person wandered in my life tho.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? well myself of course - no but really ahh vrow has me beat in my category of intelligence.

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? i sorta picked on a kid for no reason in elementary school. it was a singular incident and i apologized a year later.

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? yessss currently doing one

120. What color are most of you clothes? black

121. Do you like adventures? yea to a degree? 

122. Have you ever been on TV? nope

123. How old are you? 24

124. What is your favorite quote? hhhh i don’t have all-time faves but currently just. “Just stay by my side, it doesn’t matter even if it’s a lie.”

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? just give me all the food

[nameless-stick]

Fun lil moments with the boi I luv :3 I also have no one to talk to about this so yeah :/ but I’ve got a comic coming so yeah lol

-I’ve gone to two campout with him, the rest of his and mines friends at scouts didn’t show up so we were basically forced to hang out with one another or it was all the lil kids and you can probably tell which one we both chose. and during their two camp outs we grew less awkward around one another with him attempting to strike up conversation ever now and then and playful picking on me, calling me Gordon when I was in charge of making a side dish for dinner and such and with me making fun of him for not being able to float in water and such. To anyone this would seem like Norman human behavior but everyone at scouts has noticed him starting to change-normal he’s lifeless and doesn’t make jokes or anything but these two campout she’s changed-A lot-

.

This guy eats a lot and doesn’t like sharing his food but one morning he ended up getting some food form a fellow scout who didn’t want it and I-jokingly-aksed him for one and with hesitation he gave it to me, no eye roll, no trading no nothing he just gave it to me-if anyone else was to do ask him for something food wise he’d make you trade him for it.

.

One night me and lil brother we’re heading back from swimming and me and him and another SPL had radios and mines was acting up so I decided to radio in and explain that A-me and my brother were heading back to camp and B-that when someone wnated to talk through the raido I wasn’t able to hear them and by luck some guy(he normal he has his radio off) had his Radio was on and he replied back(I believe he may have had misunderstood the second part) that he could hear me, I was surprised I was able to hear him and repeated the first half of what I said and he said ok, know his tone for the messages were flat and monotone like always so when we had a lil girls voice pop up through the radio it denfitally scared ten shit out of me(mind you we were in the woods and there was no moon out that night) and my and my brother looked at each other thinking that there was a lil girl on the line watching us becuase the voice said “I’m watching you” and then like 10 seconds later the guy pops out of the woods scaring the living day lights out of me making me yell and jump while my brother just jumped-the second he scared me was after and SPL meeting and me and him were leaving our camp after dropping some things off and changing out of our bathing suits (This was DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE PHCKIN DAY) and I ended up having a bit of a panic attack becuase I kept on being treated like dirt so yeah I got done crying and radio him hoping he’d had his radio on which he did so when I asked him were he went he said he was over at the dining hall and I was annoyed and radio him back saying I was on my way so 2 mintues go by and I’m mumbling to myself when last second I saw it-bright red basket ball shorts and a bright blue t shirt jump out form behind a pine tree, I didn’t scream or yell(thankfull) But I did jump yet again and start throughout pine cones at him yelling and cursing him out becuase IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FRIGGING DAY-I forget what I did but he told me know that when he’s going to scare me again he’s not giving me a warning(last two times he has) and like I gave this boi my ice cream and food in order for him to at least give me a earring and all he’s said was “hmmmmm...I’ll think about it” :/ come to our last night before we head home and me and the rest of my girl troop are heading out back to our campsite and I grabbed my bag side glanced over to him and readily hummed “you know, you still need to scare me” the look on his face was priceless with the realization that I was right he still had yet to scare me :3

.

. Following the last story my and like 2 other girls form my troop need to head back to our scout master campsite becuase my scout master and two other girls went off to look for a possible missing kid so we’re all chilling out talking and resting our heads agsint the tables when I was told that I still need to sign(wood burn) my name into the shelf so I went off and did that while one of the assistant scoutmaster’s was handing out food and he ended up forgetting that I was there so he was handing out food all while I working and I didn’t mind until he just gave the entire bag of snack to the guy I like(Aaron, I should have probably told ya’ll his name :P) and once I got done the assistant remember I was there and apologized I said it was fine, Aaron allowed for you to get some more snacks but you had to ask him and then he’d hand out the amount so when I got down talking to the assistant I turned around to face Aaron walked up to him and grabbed a handful of snack fully expecting him to like yank the bag away and such but he did nothing and just let me-when some other kid tried to do the same he yanked the bag form them and then I got up a second time and did the same thing and yet he still did nothing :3 idunni wether it was becuase I didn’t get any or what but I didn’t notice it until I wrote about the food one.

.there be times when I was treated like dirt that I was just go silent and stop talking and since I’m a very talkative person this is way diffrent form me and think one of the first signs I’ve ever gotten form him was when I was told to “shit the hell up” becuase i wa starting to stop one kid form bullying another(it’s stupid once I think about it but I tend to be pushed around easily) and I was sulking over my food just yelling at myself when I looked up becuase someone pointed out they Aaron was squeezing a carrot between his fingers(lemme explain) Aaron is a lifelsss and calm guy he didn’t show a lot of emotions espiaclly anger so when I looked up he had a angry face slowly starting to peer out of his normal stiff face and you know when you get angry and such and you start clenching your first together that what he was doing he just had a boiled carrot in his hand at the time-he someone pointed it out he stopped doing it and look at the slightly embarrassed and annoyed-I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bring a smirk to my face, he’d cared in some way about me and it made me happy.

.

.when ever I got pushed around or told off he’d try and cheer me up, wether it was by him talking in his high pitch voice or him just generally making funny comments- complaining that he was getting ripped off becuase his first class a was made out of 100% cotton while his other class a(long sleeve I think) was made out of 67% cotton, him and another Scout in really close with start playing and making me laugh after I got told to “fuck off” and “you need to shut up” becuase i was trying to stop a fight.

.

.Wesday night we had free time at the pool and so ofc I went swimming but you need partners to go swimming and so when I arrived with some of the other kids who also wnated to go swimming they all picked out who was with who leaving me and Aaron to be partners and Aaron wanted to go jump off the diving board(mind you this was the first one ever for me) so he asked me if we wnated to be parneters and I said yes wanting to swim really badly but we didn’t get to because the pool ended up shutting down for like 15 minutes to do whatever they were doing and so we decided to go play volleyball, just Me and him, cf others started joing I’m with like half of my troop being on one side I joined them becuase we stick together and that was fun :3 soon the pool opened up again and we went off, Heading to the diving board-I told him a couple of times I was terrified and that this was my first time(get your head out of the gutter) and such and I failed the first time I went and he jokingly told me off becuase I need to jump once not just walk off and so when I went the second time I jumped and I got a round of applause from the other guys there, I forget what his reaction was becuase I was to busy laughing and smiling-we ended up having to leave early becuase some guy broke the second step to the board and we went to the reagula pool to just swim around, come to find out dis boi can’t float and he claims it all muscle(boi is 6’3 and does westiling at school :/) and that was really fun just swimming around with each other and trying to advoid the splash war going on.

.

.dis was sort of the top post but I felt like it need its own lil thing becuase OH MY GOD. So I likeing diving to the floor and how I do it is by jumping like a dolphin, arms incident of my and then swing them to my sides, so I jump but apparently I’m closer to Aaron then I think I am and ended up grabbing the inside of his thigh and also touch his...you know what... realizing what I did I was expecting for him to jump back and do all the things that would normally happen when you touch someone and so I blast of out the water and turned to him red faced and all waiting for him to like yell at me but he didn’t say anything and at the moment I though he must of not felt it but looking back at it know anyone would have felt it, I literally grabbed the inside of his thigh and yet he said nothing :3 yyyyyeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh......is starting to think that he may or may not have...nvm.

.

.on the topic of that last thing, you will not believe how many times I saw that boi shirtless, like seriously you won’t-so I had a swimming class for 2d period and he had the mile swim 1st period and I always got dissmied eary firmteht class so by the time I got to the pool area I got to watch him hop out of the water...shirtless, I think he may have caught me staring like once becuase on Friday(the day we skipped that SPL meeting) he spent like 15 PHCKIN MINTUES WALKING AROUND SHIRTLESS WITH HIS SHIRT IN HIS HAND AND BOI I WAS ABOUT TO HAVE A NOSE BLEED

.do even get me started on communications class, it was the best class in the world asides for the talking but everything else with just so funny-like wise for our first ‘project’ we had to sell an item and me and him being not wanting to go up forst kinda just stuck to the back and we didn’t talk to each other becuase we weren’t tang close at the moment(it was awkward) and so when it was my turn I sold my sketch book and yhad yhad yhad and then he went up and sold a R.V and yhad yhad yhad and then for our second ‘project’ we had to teach and skill and since me and him both had radios I decided to teach how to use a radio with Aaron to help and this was the start of him talking in his high voice-so I get up then and I’m all like “imma teach ya’ll how to use a radio” and I start showing off the buttons and such(we switched lines so that way out scout master couldn’t hear us) and I’m telling them what the buttons did all the while Aaron was pressing the static buttun and making come through my line and talking away I ended up yelling at him like 5 times to stop it before another counselor came stroking over and told us to shut up and thus my skill was over and I sat back down, before hand I ended up teasing Aaron about me going up there and teaching them his skill because he’s didn’t want to go unless he was told to which was fun to watching him get all annoyed at me for getting ready to stand up and asking the teacher if ‘tying a show was a skill’ and so he gets up there and showing off his skill all the while I’m trying not to stare at him and such and then for our 3rd and final ‘project’ was an interview and the teacher was assing Partners and she look back to me and Aaron and-mind you we didn’t say anything about wanting to partners and such we were just talking-she said we’d be okay for partners and such so the day of our interview I had like a list of 10+ Lilly questions and Aaron was like ‘imma wing it’ so we get up there and I go fist asking him questions and such and then my time is up and then it’s his turn and he starts off my asking the normal question ‘what troop’ and such and then he runs out and what does this boi start doing? He starts asking me what my favorite numbers were at first I didn’t quite get it and then he got to ‘what’s your 3rd favorite number’ and I was all like ‘really?’ And he got up to 6 before a fellow class mate caught on and he wa spike ‘hold up-‘(the entire class was busy talking to one another not paying any attention to us which was perfectly fine with me) ‘—can we take a moment and appreciate the fact that this guy is asking her what her 6th favorite number is?” And with that his time was up. Yeah communitcaions was really fun :3

.

Something by troop does is go to the beach like evey other meeting during the summer and this week we finally had the chance to go to the beach, with campouts and the after of those we weren’t able to for a little while—so we’re getting ready to leave and head to the beach and my mom is chosen to drive since like half of the troop decided to come and my lil brother told Aaron that he’d be riding with us and he was like ‘ok’ and then in a turn of events all the little kids ended up riding with out scout master and all the teens(me and 3 others) ended up riding with my mom including one of the lil kids becgase the ran out of room for him and so me the other two teens are chatting away since Aaron end up sitting in the front seat and we’re all having a good time talking about alcohol and such(don’t ask y) and then Landan(one of the two) starts pickin fun on Aaron and he’s about to give him a rating and I decided to but in and imitate what he’s about to say and just by my luck everyone stops talking when I speak and I gave out my truthful rating for him which was a 9 out of 10(honestly a 10/10) and I spent like 5 minutes trying to save my ass and I can only think of Aaron’s reaction when I said it :3 and then we get to the bitch everyone’s getting into the suits and such and we head for the water(I’m freaking out becuase b here was ok her period...and I live in FL....sharks....) and we all are having a good time ducking around and then we decide to go chicken(mind you this was my first time to) so it took like 5 minutes of conniving me to let Landon hey on my shoulders and when he does I about drown but after 2 attempts I got the kid on my should and Aaron already has the other teen Balke on his shoulder sand we go at it but since Aaron has more strength he last longer then me and I end up falling over and about drown again :/ and then Aaron’s starting to pick everyone up for Chicken with Landon and Balke being the opposers and I nervously say I would like to go and says okay after he does short kid(I’m like 160 and 5’9 and the kids like 140 and 4’11-5’2) so he gets done with the kid and now it’s my turn...he gets underwater and I get on top of him and he come shooting up out of the water and is holding onto my legs like he’s done with everyone else and I’m internally and externally freaking out holding on to his head for dear life and then we go and ofc we win and I get down and I’m just laughing becuase it was so much fun and then we notice that we are to far away from out court master and so we star swimming back and h goes under water and I stay above it and we’re swimming about the same pass and he come up for air and I read him saying ‘wow you’re really slow’ and he looks at me then just blast off above water and I follow and once we get back into a reasonable range he stops looks at me and says ‘wow you’re really slow’ to which I say ‘Shut up’ and then the car ride back was fun to with us agreeing on the fact that Mac and Cheese is a meal and that Dinsor chicken nuggets and smile face fires are the best and then we all decided to try on Blake’s glasses and BOI WHEN HE PUT THEM ON DID HE LOOK SO FIRGGING CUTE AND THEM I FUCKED UP becuase I ended up still sticking with what I said about him and those 5 MINTUES spent trying to save my ass was wasted as I said he’d look about half as hot (4.5 out of 10) and But boi on the cute scale he was a 100/10.

.

.

(There’s a lot more of good moments but this is getting long :3)

[mittensmorgul]

I'm the anon who brought up that quote from SotF. Boy howdy, epic reply! You gave us lots to think about so I'm writing back to clarify my question. I totally agree with you that Dean is not a mean person and I totally agree that both Cas and Dean have had passive/aggressive moments in their relationship, speaking of. :) My issue with having Dean shout at Cas in a room full of people that nobody cares about you and your pain is mean and out of character to me. 1/2

2/2 If motivation was the objective, then I also agree his approach with Kevin is more in character, “I know you’re hurting right now and we can work on it later, but right now we need you to step up and help in the fight.” Said in his still gruff manner, not mollycoddling, but the emotional support is there. That’s why the line to Cas bothers me. It seemed too harsh even out of the anger and frustration Dean felt because he thought Cas was running away from responsibility. Actually, 2/3 now.

3/3 Being a bit facetious about “words hurt” line, I was connecting it to the point they both have done and said things to each other that were hurtful and just ended up complicating their relationship. So those kinds of extreme words made me think that feeds into Cas’ insecurities. As desperate as Dean may be, it doesn’t feel like he would be pushed that far to say those words. Guess for both of them, you always hurt the ones you love. Hope you don’t mind my long reply, you’re awesome! Thanks!

Oh gosh, hi. :P

First off, apologies for going on and on and on… this has happened to me several times over the last few days of rewatches, where I took a short anon ask and just… got sucked into writing long meta while three or four episodes ran in the background… Sorry. Sometimes I have trouble pulling a single thought out of the context of the larger narrative it sits in. For reference, this is the very long reply:

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/163454512675/survival-of-the-fittest-rewatch-airs-today-i-have

I think part of the reason WHY Dean “toned it down” a bit with Kevin is BECAUSE he felt bad about having been so short with Cas in essentially the same situation, you know? And with Kevin there in 8.01? It was IMMEDIATELY after he got back from a YEAR in Purgatory, an entire year spent struggling not only to get OUT of purgatory, but to get out WITH CAS.

And he’d failed.

This was also before Dean “altered the memory” of those final moments at the portal. He was honest with Sam there, or at least far more honest than he was with himself and Cas in 8.07, before he’d been forced to live with that reality for a while and just… could’t accept it anymore, you know?

So yeah, I do think that’s part of the reason he didn’t just bark angrily at Kevin the way he did at Cas. But he also didn’t have the 10 tons of emotional baggage going in to that conversation with Kevin that Dean had with Cas by 7.23.

Kevin hadn’t hurt HIM, PERSONALLY. Kevin wasn’t avoiding acknowledging some sort of personal failure that was directly harming Dean, the way Cas was in 7.23. Dean had been willing to try and let all of that go, at least while they were still scrambling to put an end to the Leviathan, but when they discovered that they absolutely NEEDED Cas to succeed in that mission, and Cas was refusing to participate, refusing to even acknowledge that he should have any personal responsibility in fixing the situation at all… well… That was something Dean couldn’t accept.

And sorry, but crazy!Cas isn’t “cute.” He’s not a precious lil bean that needs protecting. He was using that to avoid having to face the enormity of what his actions in s6 led to. I wrote another really super long post two days later on (among other things) how this came to a head for Cas in 8.08 and his outburst at Dean’s gentle prodding about why he didn’t want to return to Heaven.

http://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/163529983575/so-many-nice-destiel-moments-in-87-but-i-have-a

Like, the “crazy” in s7 was EXTREME DENIAL. I mean, he’d literally suffered amnesia for months, forgetting he was even an angel at all and everything else… (including Dean). There’s no better metaphor for extreme denial. It’s like the tropiest version of “new phone who dis” that can possibly exist. And it takes him a LONG time to come back from that.

Late s7 “crazy!Cas” (and I have to say again how much I detest that being applied to this version of Cas, because again he is NOT crazy, he is in uberdenial and avoiding anything that might make him feel guilty/responsible for the horrific things he did, however inadvertently, in the name of trying to save the universe)….

Lemme start that previous thought again, since I got completely derailed by my own parenthetical.

Late s7 Cas was the first step back after his “penance” and subsequent recovery began. It’s Cas who is so ashamed of what he’d done that he couldn’t even face it AT ALL, until Dean started to pry his way back under all that denial. Dean acknowledged Cas’s feelings about being “poison” (to use Dean’s pet word for himself), and finally Cas felt like there might be a real way for him “to fix it.” Or at least start…

(He’d already “fixed” Sam at that point, which was something, but by no means the entirety of what he felt needed fixing… and remember that taking Sam’s Hell Trauma into himself is what drove Cas into that “crazy” state in the first place… the sort of trauma that had nearly killed Sam, and that he’d only spent all of s7 coping with by an extreme act of denial– pressing the scar on his hand and utterly rejecting the hallucinations his own damaged soul was inflicting on him…)

So, yeah, I have some pretty complicated thoughts and feelings about this, but I also feel like nothing else in Cas’s subsequent development arc makes any sense at all unless his absolute guilt and denial and yes, even his outburst in 8.08 about not wanting to return to heaven to face what he’d done driving him to thoughts of killing himself, are acknowledged for what they are.

It’s awful, it’s painful, it’s terrible all around. But I’m not in denial about it. It feels like doing a serious disservice to Cas and his later understanding and self-forgiveness and acceptance, and it’s really the foundation of EVERYTHING solid in his relationship with Dean (and Sam) over the next five seasons. It all had to come from this moment of hurt and guilt and anger and FORGIVING each other.