#and yes I am including Timothée Chalamet in this

[plzandspanku]

I would apologize for how mean this is but I'm not actually sorry

all of your marauders era fan cast are ugly or too old and I don't have enough time to sift through d-list actors and models to pick some so I'm gonna need you guys to start throwing out better recommendations 

[bloomflwrss]

a/n: something new i came up with 🤷 LONGGGG!!!

Lake Breeding

TW: smut, 18+, NO MINORS, breeding, fucking, oral sex, "normal" sex

I'm slouched in the backseat of my parents' car, staring out the window with a scowl etched on my face. We're on our way to Timothée Chalamet's house, of all places. My parents are apparently friends with his family, and they think it's just delightful to spend time together. But me? I can't stand Timothée. He's pretentious, and his constant fawning fans make me want to scream. I'd much rather be at home, curled up with a good book or binge-watching something on Netflix. Instead, here I am, trapped in this car, counting down the minutes until I can escape this forced social gathering. I bury myself in my phone, trying to drown out the annoyance brewing inside me.

"Y/n, did you bring your Louis Vuitton bag?" my mom chirps from the front seat, her voice dripping with a mix of excitement and pride. I roll my eyes in response, a surge of frustration coursing through me. Of course, I brought the darn bag. It's practically a requirement for these gatherings, a symbol of our family's wealth that they love to flaunt. But honestly, I can't stand it. I hate how my family always seems to compete with Timothée's family, trying to outdo each other in displays of affluence. It's like a never-ending game of one-upmanship, and I'm so over it. With a reluctant nod, I confirm that yes, I brought the stupid bag, silently wishing we could just be normal for once.

As we turn onto Cherry Road, the infamous street of the rich and elite, I feel a sense of unease wash over me. It's like entering a different world, one where opulence and extravagance reign supreme. The chauffeur opens my door, and I step out, the sound of my heels clicking against the pavement echoing in the air.

And then I see him – Timothée, standing there in all his arrogant glory. It's been a while since I last laid eyes on him, and I can't help but notice how the hot summer sun seems to make everything even more intense, including the way my heart races at the sight of him.

I take a moment to size him up, my eyes running up and down his figure before I realize he's been staring back at me with a flirtatious twinkle in his eye. Heat rushes to my cheeks as I quickly avert my gaze, suddenly feeling self-conscious under his scrutiny.

As our hands meet in a polite shake, I feel a jolt of electricity shoot through my body. His touch is warm and gentle, and as he clasps my hand, his thumb subtly brushes against mine. It's a simple gesture, yet it sends a rush of sensation coursing through me.

I've always had a strange fascination with his thumb – the way it moves, the way it feels against my skin. Call it odd, but I've always found it strangely attractive. And in this moment, as his thumb grazes mine, I can't help but feel a flutter of excitement deep within me. It's as if a dormant spark has been ignited, awakening something inside me that I never knew existed.

As we walk inside, I lag behind a bit, and I notice Timothée waiting for me with a playful grin. "Still hate me?" he quips, his eyes sparkling with mischief. I shoot him a smirk in response, unable to resist the banter.

He chuckles and takes a step closer, his hand lightly brushing against my thigh. It's a subtle touch, but it sends a shockwave of sensation through me, causing a sudden ache to flare between my thighs. My breath catches in my throat as I try to compose myself, the unexpected intensity of the moment leaving me

As we sit down for food, I find myself seated across from Timothée. Despite my best efforts to maintain a sense of distance, our feet seem to have a mind of their own, constantly finding ways to brush against each other under the table. It's a subtle, almost unconscious movement, but each touch sends a surge of heat through me.

As we eat, the ache between my thighs becomes increasingly difficult to ignore. I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to discreetly squeeze my sticky thighs together in the hopes of alleviating the sensation. There’s no way I could be getting aroused because of Timothée, I tell myself firmly, but the persistent ache refuses to subside, leaving me feeling flustered and frustrated.

As Timothée's mother suggests heading out to their backyard lake for a swim, I exchange a hesitant glance with Timothée. Despite my reservations, I carefully stand up, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in my stomach.

Once outside, I find myself scanning the area, wondering where Timothée has disappeared to. When he finally joins us, I can't help but ask where he's been. As he nonchalantly removes his t-shirt, revealing his sculpted physique, and unzips his pants, my jaw practically hits the floor.

Before I can even process what's happening, he drops a bombshell. He claims to have seen my fluid on the chair and boldly declares that he licked it all off. Shock courses through me, my cheeks flushing crimson as I stare at him in disbelief.

But instead of apologizing or showing any sign of remorse, he smirks and confidently asserts, "I know how horny you are for me, Y/n." His words hang in the air, leaving me speechless and utterly mortified.

As Timothée pulls me behind a towering tree, I can't help but feel a rush of adrenaline coursing through me. It's exhilarating, knowing that our parents are oblivious to our whereabouts, giving us the perfect opportunity for privacy.

But before I can even process what's happening, he pushes me down to my knees, the rough ground scraping against my skin. My eyes widen in surprise as I gaze up at him, only to be met with the sight of his massive hardness standing proudly before me.

I swallow hard, feeling a mixture of anticipation and nervousness wash over me. The air crackles with tension as I realize what he's about to do, and a flurry of conflicting emotions swirl within me. But despite my uncertainty, there's a part of me that can't deny the undeniable attraction I feel towards him, a primal desire that threatens to consume me.

"What are you doing?!" I gasp, my voice trembling with a mix of confusion and disbelief as Timothée begins to remove his underwear. But before I can protest any further, he cuts me off with a command that sends shivers down my spine.

"Suck that cock like a slut," he says, his voice dripping with authority and desire. I gulp audibly, still frozen in shock as his cock springs free from his underwear, a glistening pearl of pre-cum dangling from the tip, teasingly dropping onto the grass below.

My mind races as I struggle to comprehend the situation unfolding before me, but despite my reservations, there's a part of me that can't deny the overwhelming urge to comply with his demand.

With a mixture of trepidation and curiosity, I slowly part my lips, allowing Timothée to guide his throbbing cock into my mouth. The sensation is overwhelming as he begins to mouthfuck me, each movement deliberate and calculated, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body.

At first, his pace is slow and steady, allowing me to adjust to the sensation of having him filling my mouth. But as the intensity builds, he picks up speed, thrusting deeper and harder with each movement. I can feel him pushing the limits, going as fast and as deep as he possibly can, until I can feel the head of his cock brushing against the back of my throat.

I gag involuntarily at the sudden intrusion, my eyes watering as I struggle to accommodate his size. But as the initial shock wears off, I find myself instinctively sucking and licking, eager to please him and fulfill his desires. Despite the discomfort, there's a raw, primal energy between us that drives me to continue, lost in the intoxicating sensation of him filling me completely.

As Timothée begins thrusting into me, the intensity of his movements sends shockwaves of pleasure and pain coursing through my body. Tears escape from the corners of my eyes, a mixture of arousal and discomfort overwhelming my senses.

With each powerful thrust, he drives deeper into my throat, pushing me to my limits. I can feel his growls of pleasure reverberating through my body, heightening the sensation of being utterly consumed by him.

And then, without warning, he releases with a primal grunt, filling my throat with his hot, sticky cum. I gag slightly as his warmth floods my mouth, but I swallow instinctively, eagerly taking him all in as he empties himself completely.

As he pulls back, spent and satisfied, I can't help but feel a sense of satisfaction wash over me, knowing that I've fulfilled his desires completely. Despite the tears and the discomfort, there's a primal satisfaction in knowing that I've pleased him beyond measure.

Timothée leads me to a secluded spot in the lake, away from prying eyes. With a confident smirk, he pushes my bikini underwear to the side, exposing my throbbing clit. His touch is electric as he begins to rub my sensitive nub with his thumb, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through me.

With a devilish grin, he plunges his middle finger into my dripping pussy, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from my lips. I ride his finger eagerly, my body arching against his touch as I feel myself teetering on the edge of ecstasy.

"Fuck, you're so wet for me," he growls, his voice rough with desire. "Ride my finger, baby. Show me how much you want it.“

His dirty talk sends me over the edge, my body trembling with the force of my orgasm as I come completely undone in his arms. Waves of pleasure wash over me, leaving me breathless and utterly spent in the wake of our passion.

As Timothée plunges his cock into me, a sharp gasp escapes my lips, mixing with the sounds of the splashing water around us. The sensation is overwhelming as he begins to thrust into me, each movement sending shockwaves of pleasure coursing through my body.

The water churns around us as our bodies move in sync, the intensity of our passion matching the rhythm of our thrusts. With each movement, we exchange dirty talk, fueling the fire burning between us.

“You like that, baby?” he groans, his voice husky with desire. “You’re mine, all mine.”

I respond in kind, my own words dripping with longing and desire as I throw my head back in ecstasy.

“I want you to breed me,” I moan, unable to hold back my own primal urges.

He grins wickedly, his thrusts becoming more urgent as he senses my impending release.

“I’m gonna fill your pretty cunt with my load any second now,” he growls, his words sending shivers of anticipation down my spine.

As he reaches the brink of his own climax, I feel my pussy start to clamp around him, signaling my own impending release. With one final thrust, he pinches my clit, sending me over the edge in a wave of ecstasy.

I scream in pleasure as I come not once, but twice, my body shaking with the force of my orgasm. And as Timothée finally releases his hot load deep inside me, I can’t help but feel utterly spent and completely satisfied in the wake of our passion.

[chainmailchalamet]

Crush On You (Part 1)

What she means is that it’s a movie about sex.

To be fair, it’s more of a Film than a Movie, the lovechild of an art house director and her indie darling producer slash writer slash life partner.

And to be more fair, Sonia did direct your favorite Gender Nightmare horror film of all time (which is saying something, you’ve got impeccable taste when it comes to this one specific genre), and Wanda did write the shit out of that script, and together they are kind of a force to be reckoned with.

And as far as movies about sex go, Passion/Poison is hardly the worst project that’s been presented to you.

You’re young, and black, and most people you meet think you’re a woman, which means you’ve read a lot of screenplays that are indulgent to the point of parody.

More than one cis man director has offered you a role where at some point in the narrative you would have to strip down naked and stand in front of a scattering of candles slathered in actual literal olive oil.

Passion/Poison is a terrible name for a movie, but the writing is solid and the characters are compelling and also, the leading man is rumored to be Timothée fucking Chalamet.

Actual literal Timothée Chalamet playing an Old God summoned by a naive college student with a sex addiction.

Timothée Chalamet, whose lines would include (and this is actually in the script) shit like “I am going to wring every last drop of pleasure from your body, little one” and “I am going to dig into you so good and deep you will feel it from your throat to your toes ” and “What a pretty little picture you make, what a sweet little puppy”

Sweet little puppy!

You gasp out loud when you read it the first time, press your thighs together, mouth filling up thick and warm as you realize your character, Vivian, will be humping his leg as he says it, that his hands will be in your hair pulling your head back until you keen with it, his voice like whiskey and honey in your ear.

The next time you see your agent, you ask her to personally relay to Sonia and Wanda just how utterly depraved you think they both are, how they both terrify you in ways that cannot be put into words, and just how deeply you respect them.

You say yes. Obviously.

So does Timothée. At first you think Sonia is joking when she confirms the rumors. His last project was, after all, a Wes Anderson feature about an awkwardly upbeat incel-type who finds himself through the art of puppet-making.

And yes it does get nominated for an Oscar because of course it does and yes it does deserve it because of course it does.

(He doesn’t win, obviously, because he’s nominated in the same category as Janelle Monáe in a Prince biopic and well, it’s fucking Janelle Monáe as fucking Prince)

(When the camera pans to him to catch his reaction to losing he’s grinning and whooping and clapping so hard Kid Cudi has to hold him steady by the shoulders so he doesn’t knock himself out, and a part of you thinks “ok, he can have rights, just this once...”)

He doesn’t exactly scream morally bankrupt sex demon, doesn’t carry himself like the kind of freak that will french kiss a big toe and pull it off. He’s wiry, and he’s goofy and handsome yes, but sweet like cherry pie, boyish and eager to please.

He’s got a brand and it suits him and he seems to like it well enough, but there you sit at your first table read and there he is, walking in pink cheeked and curly haired like a cherub, wearing an eggshell mohair sweater that sits like a dream on him, legs wrapped in better soft black denim, padding up to say his greetings in beat up converse.

It’s kind of iconic actually, showing up to your first day of sex god duty with your soft boy turned up to eleven.

It both surprises you and doesn’t that he’s actually as lovely as he seems in interviews, ducking his head all bashful and laughing his awkward little laugh, charming everyone so easily that it might come off as an act if he didn’t seem so flustered by the positive reception.

He greets every member of cast and crew present with the same amount of respect, lets Sonia and Wanda fuss over him.

And then he’s looking up and catches you taking him in, smiles a shy little smile at you before you can look away, lifts his hand up like he’s gonna wave and then drops it like he’s just realized he can just walk over and sit next to you and introduce himself properly.

He walks over. Sits next to you.

Says “My name is-“

And you say “Yeah, I know, you’re Timothée Chalamet, we all know who you-“

And he kind of quirks his eyebrow and smirks a little like “I was going to say Timmy”

“Oh”

“Yeah”

He chews his gum at you, smugly. You sink into your chair a little.

He tells you he loved you in the My Sister The Serial Killer adaptation, and you ask if he’s read the book and he rolls his eyes, grinning like Yeah, Of Course.

You tell him you’re impressed like you mean Ok, I Get It, You’re a White Man That Reads Black Women Authors, Welcome to The Party That You’re Already Incredibly Late To.

He tilts his head to the side like You Got Me.

You decide that you like him at the same moment you see the little glint in his eyes like he’s deciding the same thing.

Sonia gives her opening speech. Talks about taboo and pleasure and exploitation and keeping things balanced. Wanda explains her writing process a little bit, makes a joke about finally writing the erotica her thirteen year old self could have only dreamed of.

They talk about intimacy and balancing work and play and tension and character.They look at you and Timothée. He sits up at the same time you do.

“As I’m sure you’ve all noticed,” Sonia says, “this is not a lighthearted story we’re telling...it’s raw, it’s ugly, it’s funny and sad and-“

“Sexy,” Wanda says with a wicked grin “It’s raunchy, it’s steamy. Timmy, there’s a scene where you literally spit-“

“The scene where I eat her out until she cries and then spit her cum back into her mouth?”

Everyone kind of shifts in their seats, because yeah, they all remember that scene.

You shift and shiver, thinking about those words coming out of his pretty mouth, rolling off his tongue like he just says stuff like that all the time.

Does he?

“...while I’m going for realism here, real touches, real kisses, real longing and desire...” Sonia says, turning to Wanda, prompting her.

“We feel like Hollywood Sex is overplayed, and it’s mechanic, and it turns real intimacy into this gummy, plastic, inhuman thing...”

She cringes, and the sentiment carries.

You nod, let them both know that’s what you want too, that’s what drew you to this story, a depiction of sex that isn’t bathed in roses or sanitized with rubbing alcohol.

“I remember reading all the bits where Vivian curls in on herself and clutches her stomach because she’s having an orgasm that’s so good it actually hurts, and she’s crying and laughing...we can all relate to the fear of wanting to let go completely and...sorry, I just wanted to say I’m ready to push myself...”

Timmy turns to you, and you meet his eyes. He’s looking at you like you’re Something, eyes dark and impressed and wanting, a little bit like he wants to push you far as you’ll let him.

They’ve got you signing waivers, because the kind of intimacy required for this role requires lots of paperwork.

“That being said,” Wanda stresses, “Consent is still key here. We’re going to put the both of you in some uncomfortable positions, so to speak...but you can always say no. We can always work around it...”

Timmy nods and you nod and you don’t make eye contact.You worry that he can see just how willing you are to be put into an uncomfortable situation with him.

You risk a sidelong glance at him and think that maybe you can see it too, all the ways he might want you.

Judging by the sly way he shifts his hips in his chair like you can’t see his dick print straining up against pants that fit like a second skin.

The way he spreads his legs a little and smiles like he’s caught you looking, likes he’s putting on a show.

Sonia clears her throat. Wanda grins like she’s having the time of your life.

They give you and Timmy matching Looks.

“Well, since organic tension clearly isn’t an issue here, let’s start from the top, yeah?”

And so it begins.

[cassiopee-utopia]

The day I run into you #1/3

Hello! This is my first fiction

/!\ English is not my mother tongue! Many mistakes are probably in this story and I deeply apologize for that. Please feel free to correct them if you see some, it will help a lot! 

Summary : A short story (3 chapters) about the day a young student randomly run into Timothée Chalamet in the streets of Paris. 

Enjoy!!

xx

Chapter 1: Meet me at the corner

(2,3k words)

Today I’m randomly walking in Paris as I like to do it when the weather is good and I don't have anything planed. This way I can discover new places of this huge capital I live in during my studies. For now, I'm doing a four-months internship that will end in a month or so. I'm doing it in a fashion press office and I'd say I quite enjoy it.

Currently I am in the 16th arrondissement. This neighborhood isn't really animated as only the richest people live here. But I guess sometimes it's nice to get away from the unrest of the city and just take a walk in a calm area.

As I have been walking straight for a long time, I decide to turn left at the next street corner. And well, let's just say that decision changed my day.

Indeed, the moment I turned is also the moment an idiot coming from the street I was heading towards decided to turn at full speed exactly in the opposite direction and one thing leading to the other: boom *collision*. That's the moment I ran into you.

- Ouch, I say trying to get up.

- I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I didn't see you, sorry… says the man I bumped into.

I can't see his face as he is trying to pick up all the books he dropped, but weirdly I have the impression that I know this voice.  

- Here, that's also my fault you know, let me help you picking up this mess, I propose.

- Thanks, but you don't have to.

He finally raises his head in my direction and boom *2nd collision*, but in my mind this time. Timothée Chalamet is just in front of me.

For a moment my brain decides to just, stop working. I fix my gaze on him and say nothing.

- Are you okay?

- Um.. Yes.. Um.. I am, I say getting a grip.

I look to the books I’m holding and hand them to him:

- Your books.

- Thank you. So, um, where were you heading before we…

- Nowhere in particular, I say smiling, I just like to walk around in Paris. Discovering new places, etc.  

- Oh, then you should know some good secret places, right?

- I guess, I say a little confused, well maybe, I don't know, depends on what you call "good secret places"… And you, um, where are you going, if I can ask?

- To my hotel, I need to put down those books I just bought.

- By the way, what's all this?

- Just some French novels. I like to buy some when I’m in Paris. It's to practice my French and my French culture I guess, he say giggling.

- That's nice! So… um…

I absolutely don't know what to say next and don't want this conversation to end but luckily, he made me THE offer of the year.

- You said you wanted to help, so maybe you could help me bringing my books to my hotel?

As I already almost collapsed in front of him, I try my best to not have my third "collision" of the day and focus. Unfortunately, all I manage to say is a quick:

- Yes.  

- Great! I take one half and you take the other, he say handing me the books I previously gave back to him. My hotel is this way, come on.

I take the books, nod and follow him quietly.

We continue walking in silence for a few blocks and then he finally asks:

- So, um, I don't even know your name.

- Oh, yes, I am Rachel.

- Well, nice to meet you Rachel, I'm Timothée.

At this moment I don't really know what to do. Do I tell him the truth and say that I know who he is and that I was basically fangirling him a few months ago, risking to seem totally crazy to him ; or do I pretend the opposite? It could be credible, I mean, he's not that famous yet, everybody doesn't necessarily know him, it's not like he was Leonardo Dicaprio or Brad Pitt. But this second option would also include me lying to him, and besides the fact that I don't like to lie, he doesn’t deserve to be manipulated. Moreover, it's not like we're going to become friends or something, as soon as we'll get to his hotel, he will nicely invite me to leave, so I guess I have nothing to lose.

- Yeah, I kind of know who you are. But don't worry, I'm not a crazy fangirl! I say giggling.

Gosh why did I have to say that too! I'm such an idiot!

He takes a moment to think about the stupid shit I just said and then he answers:

- Well, then you should know how funny I am!

That was not expected but I'm glad he doesn't care that I know him, and that he takes it with humor. I decide to take this opportunity.

- Um… that's not what I actually heard…  

- What did you hear then?

- That you were that type of young actor with an enormous ego and basically no talent, I say with a very serious tone.

He stops dead with a very offended look and says:

- What!?!

I look at him, keeping my seriousness as long as I can and suddenly burst out laughing.  

- Hey! That's not funny!!

- Oh trust me, it is, I say still laughing.

He rolls his eyes and stops:

-So, here's my hotel, I would have invited you to come in with me but since you're so unkind to me…

- Oooh… Look who's all offended!! I answer with a slight smirk.

- Fine, if you keep it that way… he say turning his back to me and going toward the entrance.

- Wait wait! Okay, I'm sorry, but you know it was just for fun right? Who would have known Timothée Chalamet was that touchy!

He stops, turns around with a big smile of satisfaction.

- And that manipulative… I add walking in with him.

After taking the elevator we arrive in his hotel bedroom. Contrary to what I thought, it's not a giant suite, it's just a big room with a little "living room area" with a table, a big sofa and two armchairs. The curtains are closed but the room is still quite luminous as it's the middle of the afternoon. The decoration is pretty standard, but the luxury and the quality of the bedroom is still visible.

- You can put down the books on the table, Timothée indicates me before taking off his shoes.

I do so and stay besides the table, not knowing what to do next, and starting to feel a little bit embarrassed. Luckily for me, this guy seems to always have something to say.

- So, why don't you say to me what you really know about me without making some bad jokes like you did earlier, he says sitting on his bed.

I roll my eyes, sit in front of him on the couch and answer:

- Why do you want to know what I know about you? I'm pretty sure you're not going to learn anything as it's just some random facts about you.

- Well, let's just say I'd like to know what fans think and know about me, to know if there are false information circulating about me.

- Okay, first, who said I was a fan? (Of course I was one, but that's something that he didn't need to know for now). But if you really want me to do that then fine.

I started to tell him things I knew about him, like the fact that he is half-French and that he used to spend some holidays near St Etienne. Obviously I didn't tell everything I knew as he asked because I don't want him to see me as one of these crazy fangirls, even if in a way, I kind of am or was one myself. I also took advantage of this conversation to make fun of him a few times, mentioning that "peach scene" or that "Statistics rap" thing for example.

We kept talking about him and eventually about me for a while.

Then, still in our conversation, as I am exploring the room with my eyes, my look stops on the little space between the two closed curtains. I squint in order to identify what there is behind it and finally understand what it is. At this moment I am not listening to Timothée anymore. I just get up and walk in the direction of the window.

- What are you doing? I think he asks.

Still focus on what I am doing I open the curtains with an abrupt gesture, revealing the most beautiful thing: a perfect view on the Eiffel Tower.

I know it's totally cliché but as I am not a real Parisian since I've only been living here for less than a year, I really love that monument and it's one of my dreams to have a view like this.            

As I open the window to go on the small balcony, Timothée joins me.

- How can you close the curtains when you have such a beautiful view? I ask.

- I just took a nap before I went to buy my books.

- A nap? Oh, what are you, 70? I say giggling.

- No but I have jet lag, he answers a little pissed.

- Oh yes, that's right, sorry… I didn't even ask you why you're here.

- For fashion week.

- Really!? That's so awesome, I love fashion! I wish I could go to a show one day, I say leaning on the guardrail of the balcony in direction of the magnificent view. So, what were you saying just before I got to the window?

- I was talking about my upcoming movie that I'm not supposed to talk about, he says sitting on the floor.

Even if we are in late June and that the weather is sunny, it isn’t too hot so we could stay on the balcony and continue our conversation. I sit like him on the floor and answer:

- Um, you're telling me secrets now? I guess that's a good point for me then… I look away from him and add in a low voice: too bad you're already taken.

- Taken? Taken by what? He asks confused.

I look back at him and roll my eyes as I have to say it out loud.

- Taken by a girlfriend named Lily.

He smirks and says while playing with a twig he found on the ground:

- Guess you don't know everything about me then.

- What do you mean?

- Lily and I broke up months ago.

- Oh, I say without being able to prevent myself from letting out a small smile, smile he immediately notices:

- You know, it's not good to be happy about other people's breakups, he says smirking.

- I… I'm not happy… I'm really sorry, um, you two were… you were a cute couple… I say embarrassed.

- You know I'm teasing you right?

- What!? Hey! That's not funny! I say punching him in the arm.    

- Haha, that was for you're little joke earlier.

As an answer I just make a face to him, which makes him laugh even harder.

We kept talking for a while when suddenly he got up after looking at his watch.

- Shit!! The fashion show!! It's in half an hour!

- It's today!? I ask following him inside.

- No, it's right now. I really have to go. Haider Ackermann may be my friend, he doesn’t like when people are late, especially when we're talking about work… his work!

- Oh, um… I should get going then…

- I am really sorry to abandon you like that but even if we talked about it earlier it completely went out of my mine. Sorry.

As he is searching in his suitcase, I realize that my little dream with Timothée is now over.

- Okay, goodbye then… it was nice meeting you… I say going to the door.

- Um, yeah, really nice! He joins me in the front of the door. Sorry again, and thanks for the books, he says pointing them, even if in the first place you are kind of the reason they ended up on the ground. He giggles.

I giggle softly too and look up straight in his eyes as intensely as I can, maybe to trigger a reaction in him that would be favorable to me, at this point, any reaction would be good. But after ten seconds nothing happens. So I look down quickly, quite embarrassed, and then look up at him again and say in French:

- Au revoir Timothée (Goodbye Timothée).

He smiles and I immediately open the door and go out before saying something stupid. As I close the door, I realize I won’t have any souvenir of this incredible meeting, no photos, nothing. Just the images I would always keep in my mind. When I walk away from the door towards the elevator, I’m starting to regret not to have insisted a little more, like asking for his number or to see him again after the show. But no, my big lack of self-confidence decided to do nothing, and now it is too late. But then, from nowhere, the impossible happened. I hear the door I closed a few seconds ago opening again.

- Rachel, wait!    

I turn back to him.

- Do you want to come with me? To the show?    

Continue reading ! -> second chapter here: Chapter 2

[inkblotgalaxies]

who would be some of your favorite fictional characters to write fics about? :)

Oh, Anon, I am SO glad you asked.

A LIST OF CHARACTERS I WOULD WRITE INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO:

Literally any Bill Skarsgård character. Seriously. Just pick one. 

Roman Godfrey 

The Kid

Mickey from Villains

Henry Pearl

Axel Cluney

Gordan Merkel

Legitimately, any of them.

MOST of Timothée Chalamet’s characters UNLESS THEY ARE BASED OFF OF A REAL PERSON (aka no Nic Sheff)

Kyle from Lady Bird

Elio Perlman (OF AGE)

Laurie from Little Women

Any of the kiddos from Skins UK series 1 & 2.

Sid

Tony

Anwar

Maxie

Cassie

Michelle

The Boy from the Isle of Eroda (aka Adore You) (Yes I am fucking counting it don’t judge me.

Characters from History Channel’s Vikings

Ivar the Boneless/Ivar Lothbrok

Hvitserk Lothbrok

Ubbe Lothbrok

Bjorn Ironside

Rollo

King Oleg

If you can think of any others, feel free!

Also on the table are other characters played by Alex Høgh Andersen.

Adrian from Et Bånd Mellem Mennesker (aka A Bond Between People)

Jakup from Ødeland (sweet mute boyyyy)

Sooo... yeah! If you think of any others, feel free to ask!!!

(Also gonna just tag @ill-skillsgard, @dreamtherapy, @kathryn-jane, and @smileysam13579 because I looooove their writing and if they want me to write anything at all FEEL FREE TO ASK.)

[rebeccalouisaferguson]

Rebecca Ferguson interviewed by Perrine Quennesson for Cinema Teaser (October 2019)

The Swedish actress spotted in Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation discusses her involvement in the sequel of The Shining, Doctor Sleep (in theatres October 30/critic under embargo), her relationship to genre cinema and her dream of French nationality.

What is your relationship to The Shining movie?

I always preferred the books of Stephen King to adaptations. But, to be quite frank, I never read ‘The Shining’, however, I read a lot of others. I saw the Stanley Kubrick movie while I was surely too young to fully appreciate it. I saw it again later, because it was a feature film that had to be seen, and maybe because I was more mature, I knew how to love it more and now I am very fond of what was created by Kubrick. Moreover, it is very hard to emancipate from such a work while remaining in continuity. But I think Mike Flanagan has really succeeded with Doctor Sleep.

The Shining takes its time to create a terrifying atmosphere of suffocating unease. We are far from certain current horror productions. Is this the direction that Mike Flanagan took also?

Totally, but I think that’s what he did with most of his films. There is always an underlying threat. And with Mike’s, it comes regularly from the past. I saw all his movies and series before working with him, and it’s often a question of a wounded being whose past resurfaced creating a tightness at home that brings the tension. And it's not so much the action that counts for Mike as the character's fight against his loneliness, his fear and the strength of his survival instinct. It’s brilliant and it also shows the importance of every element of a movie whether it’s the photography, calibration or music, because it is with this ensemble that we create the atmosphere. And Kubrick had already done it well in The Shining.

You said that before working with Mike Flanagan, you had seen all his work. But were you familiar with his work before meeting him?

Not really. I knew what he had done but since he is a horror film director and that I am not, at first glance, really interested in this genre, I had never been attracted to his work. But that’s interesting when you start a new project. Previously, never in my life would I have said ‘Go watch a horror movie a Friday night with a packet of popcorn or chocolate ’. 

But while doing my research, watching his films, I realised that horror was much more than jumpscares. I understood from Mike's work that there was a lot more nuance and depth and that it deals with strong topics such as grief, fear or mourning. Better, I sometimes surprise my husband at night saying 'What if we watch a horror movie?' and it makes him laugh. I like this feeling in my belly, it’s a bit like watching someone sing really badly in X Factor. It’s terrible, we feel bad for them but we cannot stop looking and laugh to dispel the discomfort.  There is only one movie of Mike’s that I did not manage to see until the end, and it was Gerald’s Game, which is also an adaptation of Stephen King, I was too uncomfortable.

You come from Sweden, but for a few years now you have made a name for yourself in American cinema, especially thanks to Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation.

I never see what I do geographically. I do not say 'Well, I want to do American cinema'. By the way, I’ve never shot in Los Angeles, I shot a bit in New York but most of the time, filming is in Europe, London, Budapest, Sweden, South Africa. The production may be American, but filming is borderless.

There is no difference between American and European cinema according to you?

Let’s say it’s not so simple. There are tons of American directors who make independent movies and if you did not know anything about their nationality, you might think they are European. We love to generalise but it’s not so true. Look at Margot Robbie in I, Tonya; the production is 100% American, on an American subject, but honestly, if it had come from Europe, it would not have surprised me. I hate the idea of saying 'Oh my god, I come from Europe so my dream is to succeed in the United States’ because that’s absolutely not the case. The cinema, in my opinion, is much more than that, it is a place of diversity. I would love to shoot everywhere, France, Greece, Hungary, Chicago, Los Angeles, whatever. Look at my friends Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg who did Kon-Tiki and also Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. The production is American but they are Norwegians, so where is the film from? And it’s also a question of team. For example, I just did Dune. The film is made by a Quebecker, Denis Villeneuve, and includes a Franco-American actor Timothée Chalamet, another, Spanish, Javier Bardem and a Swede, me. The film is produced by Warner Bros. The interest is therefore the mixture of cultures, each bringing a little of it. I am ready to fight for this idea.

So you would be ready to shoot in France?

But yes, so much! By the way, I would have loved to be French. I love the musicality of french and your special way of not having to give a fuck. It is effortless for you, it does not mean that you are not humble or nice, it simply means that we do not need to make tons [of smalltalk], which unfortunately many people do. My aunt is French, I often come to Paris and I am terribly disappointed not to speak your language. But when I say a French word, it gives me an immediate sensation of pleasure all over my body. When I was small, I told my mother that there had a problem at my birth. I was not born in the right nationality.

[purplesurveys]

956

Be honest with yourself, are you proud of your actions? Yes. If there’s one good thing going for me it’s that I’m happy with the things I’ve done, overall. I regret few of my actions.

Have you ever had an operation? No, and the thought scares me to be honest. I get uncomfortable with the idea of being put under anaesthesia or being cut open D:

Favorite sit-down restaurant? Yabu, Frankie’s, or Mendokoro Ramenba. Missing all these places bigtime, too. I can’t wait to start getting my internship money, heh. Chicken wings will probably be one of the first things I’d buy.

What have you eaten today? I had sushi bake with nori sheets in the afternoon, during a lull at work.

Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? Rhett and Link, if people from YouTube count. But Angela made me laugh quite a bit today, if you’re looking for an irl person.

If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? But would I be down with the tattoo...? Probably should have been the first question you asked, haha.

What is something you find romantic? I like different ways of saying I love you without having to say those words. Like, “I thought of you when I saw this,” or “Should I drive to you?” or “Did you get home safe?” Those are my favorite things to hear when in a relationship; it makes me feel I’m looked out for, which I appreciate.

What is your style? Sometimes I like going the 90s route with graphic tees and high-waist denim jeans, but other days I like to look more modern or chic.

If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? Not that I enjoy doing it, but I’d love to visit Nacho’s resting place right now. I’m just not sure if I’m allowed to go out at this time. I’m certainly hoping he wasn’t alone today and that he got a lot of love.

What is the best movie you have ever seen? Good Will Hunting.

What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? Intelligence.

What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? I don’t appreciate jokes on miscarriages and rape, and those that poke fun at transphobia. Jokes on suicide and mental health issues can sometimes be offensive, but it depends on the context.

How long was your longest relationship? 4 years.

Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship? I’d take the castle. I personally prefer the spaceship a lot more, but I feel like I’d be barfing in there a lot lmao. Also, the amount of controls and buttons that I’ll have to move around will probably overwhelm me.

Have you ever felt unimportant in someone’s life? Unfortunately, yes.

Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No. Not my gift of choice either, so I’d say it’s a good thing that no one has made one for me.

Did you have any unread texts this morning? I don’t think so, no.

What are your initials? RIAC.

What is your definition of “having sex”? I don’t feel like describing it in detail lol, just look it up.

Who was the last person you were “in a relationship with” on Facebook (including anyone you may have put “in a relationship with” for a joke)? I never used that feature on Facebook. I don’t like sharing too much personal info on there, because Filipino relatives tend to be nosy and gossip around lol. All they need to see are the memes I share and my political stances.

Do you think a relationship with a 16-year-old girl and a 35-year-old man would work out? Do you think age differences like that (when they’re under 18) should be legal? 16 years old...say that again, but slowly. That’s pretty disgusting.

Were you ever “the other man/woman”? How did it turn out? How do you feel about it today? No. I’d never want to be; I wouldn’t know how to deal with it if I ever found out I was one.

What do you think of open relationships? If your partner suggested it, what would you say? i dont care what other people do, but that is not for me.  < Sums it up well.

Would you ever date out of your race? I’m open to it. I don’t see why I shouldn’t be.

Who were you with yesterday? Just family, but I was mostly by myself.

Have you ever had a reptile for a pet? Nope.

What time do you have to get up tomorrow? My work starts at 9 AM so I always have to be up by then, but because I like taking a shower and polishing the work I did the day before, I personally like to be ready anywhere between 8–8:30 AM.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo? I never have.

What kinds of alcohol do you like? I like cocktails; I like having a good, chill time with friends and I’m usually not in a hurry to get drunk, so cocktails are the perfect drinks for me for most situations. As for hard drinks, I usually go for tequila shots and whatever Bacardi is.

Did you have a swing set when you were a kid? We didn’t, but as a kid I regularly came over to my cousins’ place who did have a playground and they had a variety of swings that I loved riding.

Can you do the alphabet in sign language? Incompletely.

Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely? Of course.

State you most want to visit? Illinois, but only for Chicago.

What is a book that you really want to read? I’m not really eyeing any at the moment, but I’m currently reading Midnight Sun. Except by ‘currently’ I really mean reading a few pages or so once a week lol. I’ve always been terrible at reading books as a teenager/adult.

What brand was the last lotion that you used? I don’t remember anymore. I don’t use lotion often.

What color is your underwear? Green.

What was the last type of cookie that you ate? Sandwich cookies. They were Oreos.

If you could be anywhere right now, where would you be? In a happier place, mentally. I’d give an arm and a leg to be there rn.

What genre was the last song you listened to? R&B I think.

What sort of surveys catch your interest and which ones bore you? I like ones with random questions or those with themes that I can relate to, like college or film surveys. I can’t say I enjoy surveys that ask what kind of X you are and then just lists down traits that you’re asked to bold or not. Bolding surveys can also be kinda bleh, but I like putting my own twist on them and elaborating on each entry so that I don’t finish them too quickly.

What books do you usually enjoy reading and which do you not enjoy? I enjoy autobiographies. I don’t like the fantasy and epic genres, or anything that has too many fictional or supernatural elements.

What is something that you really want to try, whether it’s a hobby, food, etc.? Baking! I feel like it would be therapeutic for me, so it’s something I want to get into. It’d be awesome to master chocolate chip cookies.

What websites do you frequent most often? YouTube these days, for sure. I also use a lot of Google Suite for work.

The last person you found attractive — what did they look like? Big eyes, medium-length hair, bright smile.

If you could go back in time, would you prefer to go forward or backward? this question is so jacked LOL. "if you could go back, would you go foward?" go away. < Hahahaha true, but I’d go forward in time. I want to fast forward to feeling happy again, if that will even be the correct guess.

Post a link to the last video you watched online. Aw man, your timing made me a little sad. I’m currently watching the GMM episode that featured Kobe Bryant a few years ago.

Is there anything bothering you at the moment? You bet there is.

What color was the last shirt you wore? I’m wearing a black and white striped shirt right now, but the one I wore before this had a leopard print.

What sort of things do you like to post or look at on Tumblr? I just do surveys full-time now, man. I hopped off the fandom side of Tumblr 6-7 years ago and this has been my ~main blog since, if I had to call it anything.

What scent was the last candle you burned? It was just a plain candle that we had to light up because we had a blackout. I don’t really get my own candles to relax or whatever.

What type of people are you usually attracted to? I’m demi, so it will always differ. I don’t have a ‘type’ of person.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Can’t say I do.

When you look to your left, what is the first thing you see? What about the right? I see my bed on the left, and the wall and the glare from my phone on the right.

What room are you currently in? What color are the walls/floor? I’m in my bedroom. Walls are white, floor is brown.

What color is the last blanket you used? Pink but it has polka dots of various colors. My light is currently turned off and it’s dark, though, so I don’t feel like reaching for my blanket just to list down its other colors.

What do you smell like right now? I think I just smell like person...I wasn’t around strong scents today.

If it was possible to celebrate a holiday everyday, which would you choose? That would get boring really fast, but idk...Christmas, I guess? It’d be nice to have big grand dinners everyday and to see regularly relatives I only see 1-2 times a year.

If you could compare yourself to a celebrity or character, who would it be? Mr. Peanutbutter from BoJack Horseman. Loyal, wacky, covers everything up with humor, very expressive when it comes to love.

Which male celebrities do you find attractive? Timothée Chalamet, Troye Sivan, Mark Ruffalo.

Which female celebrities do you find attractive? Kristen Stewart, Kate Winslet, Rosamund Pike, Claire Foy, Courteney Cox, Mila Kunis, Emma Stone.

If you could marry one of your favorite celebrities and have a happy relationship until the end of your days, who would it be? I’d go with Mark Ruffalo, heh

What song are you listening to at the moment? I have Good Mythical Morning on, not music.

What is currently on your desk? Just my headphones at the moment. I usually use my laptop on the desk too, but right now I prefer to be on the floor just because.

What brand is your computer? Apple.

What are the last things you ate and drank? For eat, I had sushi bake with nori sheets. For drink, I had water.

How often do you take naps and how long do they usually last? I take naps in the afternoon but only on weekends now, because work. How long they last always varies, depending on how hot it is in my room. Higher temperature = quicker, less satisfying naps.

Which season do you wish lasted all year? I definitely wish we got rain all year.

What is the last part of your body that itched? My back.

Is there anything that you should be doing right now? Nope. My day is over and I’m happy to take a survey or two tonight.

Is there anything you’re craving right now? Pad thai. I did ask my dad to make it again, so I should expect it any day soon.

How do you take your tea? I don’t drink tea.

[marredbyoverlength]

Year-End Awards 2019

2019 was very good for movies.  Or, rather, November and December of 2019 were very good for movies.  I could speculate about why that is (Awards season? Disney? Moloch?), but I don’t really know.  What I do know is that the Oscars are tomorrow, so I better get this post up today.

Honorable mentions in no particular order.  Strap in, chumps.

Best Lead Performance: Adam Sandler, Uncut Gems

Sometimes it feels like Adam Sandler is cheating, lowering our expectations with awful performances in even-more-awful films so that his dramatic turns look better by comparison.  But whether or not we grade him on a curve, this performance is the best of the year.  

Sandler’s character, Howard Ratner, is ridiculous.  In fact, much of the movie is ridiculous.  But Sandler makes this absurd person human, and in doing so, makes the whole movie work.  He commits hard to the role, and even though every scene is a little more unbelievable than the last, I never for a moment stopped believing in Howard.  Superb work.

Honorable Mentions: Willem Dafoe, The Lighthouse; Saoirse Ronan, Little Women; Scarlett Johansson, Marriage Story; Adam Driver, Marriage Story; Ana de Armas, Knives Out; Kang-ho Song, Parasite; Jonathan Pryce, The Two Popes.

Best Supporting Performance: The rest of the cast of Uncut Gems

The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that Uncut Gems is a movie that survives entirely on its acting.  The Safdie brothers themselves have said that the movie wouldn’t work without Kevin Garnett nailing the scene where he first holds the black opal.  I’d extend that credit to all the other supporting roles: Idina Menzel as Howard’s wife who no longer even bats an eye at the insanity he brings on himself, Marshall Greenberg (a non-actor) as the fellow jeweler who expresses genuine concern for Howard but still gives him unfavorable terms on a pawn deal, deranged Garment District legend Wayne Diamond as a character just named “High Roller”—every one of these people is essential to the success of the film.  When it comes down to it, Uncut Gems doesn’t make any sense.  It takes a suite of perfect performances to make it feel as real as it does.

Honorable Mentions: Timothée Chalamet, Little Women; Laura Dern, Little Women; Florence Pugh, Little Women; Takayuki Hamatsu, One Cut of the Dead; Daniel Craig, Knives Out; Al Pacino, The Irishman.

The Costner Award for Worst Actor: Rebel Wilson, Cats

When we meet Rebel Wilson (as her fursona “Jennyanydots,” a name I will never utter again), she is showing her butthole to the camera.  The character never gets more likable than that, because they let Rebel Wilson ad-lib numerous “comedic” lines to punch up the script. They’re awful.

Honorable Mention: James Corden, Cats.

 Nicest Surprise: Cold Pursuit

I watch the Liam Neeson stupid action flick with my brother Rob every year. Sometimes we get something legitimately great, like A Walk Among the Tombstones.  Other times we get a movie like The Commuter, which is dumb as rocks.  But this is the first time we got a comedy.  I went in expecting a second-rate Neeson-kills-people thriller, and instead got a solid black comedy.  Apparently it’s nearly a shot-for-shot remake of the Norwegian film In Order of Disappearance, so maybe I should have known better.  But I didn’t, so I was pleasantly surprised.

Hiddenest Gem: One Cut of the Dead

One Cut of the Dead is the best movie of the year that my friends haven’t seen, and it’s a tough movie to talk about because of how fun it is to watch knowing nothing about it.  So I’ll keep it short.  One Cut is a Japanese schlock horror movie with a fun twist that manages to be creepy at first, then funny, then heartwarming.  Two things elevate this above the usual fun-twist movie.  The first is that the surprise unfolds in little pieces over the entire second half of the movie, rather than hitting all at once. The second is that there’s real substance there: under the goofy exterior there’s a charming family story that’s worth coming back for.

 Most Insulting Moment: We Hate Sensory Deprivation, Angel Has Fallen

I haven’t seen the other films in the Blank Has Fallen franchise, nor did I need to do so to understand its third installment.  It’s exactly the kind of institution-worshipping great-men-of-history support-our-troops action bullshit you’d expect.  But after the credits, there’s a totally inexplicable scene where Gerard Butler and his dad Nick Nolte agree to get treatment for their (implied) PTSD.  Instead of leaving it as just a nice moment of healing, it cuts to a comedy scene where they go to a two-person sensory-deprivation tank and float around in the dark complaining about it.  The general gist of the scene is “sensory deprivation is dumb and gay.”  I’m not a sense-dep guy, but it’s used here as a stand-in for all the forms of “modernity” that reactionary filmmakers hate: you know, like mental health treatment, or trying new things, or expressing any sincere vulnerability even for a moment.  Why not just show them affectionately kissing guns and save some production cost?

Honorable Mentions:  The trailer for A Dog’s Way Home; The narration in Ad Astra.

 Winter’s Tale Memorial “What the Hell Am I Watching” Award: Cats

At long last, a film that unites the unholy trinity of ambition, incompetence, and derangement to form a true “What the Hell Am I Watching” award-winner.  The premise of Cats, in short, is that the cats of London meet every year to perform a ritual sacrifice of one of their number, believing that the chosen cat will, after their death, be reincarnated…as another London cat.  And they determine the sacrifice by holding a talent show.  And one of the cats is a warlock.  So we’re off to a good start.

I was fortunate enough to see the original version.  You see, the film is almost entirely CGI, so much so that viewing it feels like living inside a haunted kaleidoscope.  Even the actors, through “digital fur technology,” are turned into cats which are anthropomorphized to greater or lesser degrees. The warlock cat, for example, has cat abs.  But shortly after theatrical release, director Tom Hooper realized that the film contained major visual effects oversights, including failing to CGI several of the actors’ hands, meaning that Judi Dench and Ian McKellen appeared to have human arms on cat bodies.  These are only some of the crimes of the film Cats.  A full reading of the litany would take all day.

Honorable Mentions: A Dog’s Journey; Gemini Man.

Prettiest Movie: 1917

I’d be remiss not to talk about the cinematic achievement of 1917.  The all-in-one-take thing, or the appearance thereof, is kind of a used gimmick at this point.  (Birdman, after all, used it and won Best Picture.)  I went into 1917 expecting a cheap knockoff. Instead I was blown away.  Every detail was perfect, down to the mud stains on the extras’ overcoats, the stacking of sandbags in the real dug-out trenches, the bloating of the bodies clogging the waterways.  One especially memorable scene follows our hero (George MacKay) sprinting through a ruined city by night, intermittently lit by mortar fire, dodging gunfire all the way.  Maybe “pretty” isn’t the right word, but no film this year used the visual medium as well as 1917.

Honorable Mentions: Parasite, Once Upon A Time…in Hollywood.

Best Picture: Under the Silver Lake

Yes, I know it’s weird to give Best Picture to a movie that didn’t even get an honorable mention anywhere else.  But this is my blog, dammit, I stand by it.  Under the Silver Lake is a movie about capitalist-media-technology-complex-inspired brain poisoning.  It stayed on my mind for weeks after seeing it, and I eventually gave it a second watch. It held up.  

Criticisms of the film abound, like how male-gazey a lot of the portrayals of women are, but I think the parts that some reviewers identify as flaws are intentional and important features of the movie.  We see the film through the eyes of our main character (Andrew Garfield), who is a scumbag, but the film is very clearly not endorsing being a scumbag. It’s about the interplay of personal neuroses and moral failings with the broader perverse clown-reality we all occupy, and the inescapable tinge our perspectives bring to the world we see. The film is, after all, a sort of noir film, and our hero’s attitudes are reflective in some ways of the noir mindset: find the clues, unravel the plot, get the girl.  The incongruity between the stories and attitudes of our past and the demented reality of our future define the film.

I could go on about this for much longer, which is why I’m choosing Silver Lake as the best film of the year.  It’s not notable for its acting or cinematography (though both are solid), but in terms of content, nothing else this year encapsulated my internal and external world quite so well as this.

Honorable mentions: Parasite; 1917; Little Women; The Irishman; One Cut of the Dead; Marriage Story; Uncut Gems.

 That’s it, that’s the post.  I think I’m moving to Letterboxd next year.

[gleekto]

This week, Darren Criss announced he’ll no longer take on gay roles. The 31-year-old actor, who has famously played several queer characters including Glee’s Blaine Anderson and recently won an Emmy for his outstanding performance as Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story, tells Bustle, “I want to make sure I won’t be another straight boy taking a gay man’s role.”

Many people in the queer corners of the internet praised Criss for taking a stand to create space for openly gay entertainers, while others were simply shocked to learn Criss is actually straight and engaged to his girlfriend of nearly a decade. Though I, too, appreciate Criss for acknowledging Hollywood’s ongoing representation problem and sacrificing his livelihood for us gays, I think Criss, Claire Foy, Eric McCormack, Melissa McCarthy, Timothée Chalamet, Rami Malek, and any other straight actor who gets offered a gay role should take it and slay it.

First of all, you’re an actor. It’s your job to play someone else and make us believe it. If I wanted to watch a movie where an actor just plays himself, I’d just watch Adam Sandler. Second, you walking in those gay shoes will help us to run (or sashay) later. Third, we can walk and chew gum at the same time. In other words, yes, Hollywood needs to look at its casting problem, but it also needs to work on its lack of creative storytelling. Lastly, if you’re an actor who wants to be an advocate and an ally for the LGBTQ community, don’t give up your damn seat at the table. Invite gay actors inside from the picket line.

Criss absolutely killed (no pun intended) his role as Andrew Cunanan this year. And did you see Melissa McCarthy and Richard E. Grant as queer con artists in Can You Ever Forgive Me?Didn’t Rami Malek totally rock you as Freddie Mercury in Bohemian Rhapsody? All of these performances of real-life queer people are strong contenders for awards heading into the 2019 award season. Bohemian Rhapsody is now the most successful music biopic of all time.

Queer lives are being celebrated, recognized, and are making bank.

And with films like Love, Simon, Call Me By Your Name, Boy Erased, and The Miseducation of Cameron Post accelerating acceptance by furthering the conversation on coming out and conversion therapy, young LGBTQ people are being inspired and empowered to come out and love themselves despite the hateful rhetoric being spewed by our very own leaders. Yes, it’d be nice if those characters were played by actors from the queer community, but is it the end of the world if it’s Chloë Grace Moretz?

What’s also great about the latest queer-themed movies is that the narratives are becoming more nuanced. We’re moving away from the tired-ass gay best friend and confidant (mostly), and we’re seeing our contributions to society and complexities as humans. Shows like Will & Grace and movies like Transamerica ran, so Pose, Call Me By Your Name, and The Favouritecould strut and death drop. We’re seeing nuanced gay characters who aren’t props, sidekicks, and punchlines, but protagonists who are owning their stories, helping young gays understand themselves, changing hearts and minds, and exposing viewers to someone who may not be exactly like them.

So what if it’s Armie Hammer in short shorts? We could do worse.

Yes, there’s much more work to be done. So if Criss wants to be an ally, he should wield his power and privilege to bring in diverse creatives to be in front, behind, and beside the camera when he’s given the platform—not give it up.

As NewNowNext writer Lester Fabian Brathwaite points out in his look-back at this year’s best in queer TV, “2018 was a banner year for queer television based not only on representation but the sheer quality of that representation.” Has there ever been so many choices across almost every entertainment genre and platform for queer audiences to “explore the entire rainbow of identities without feeling forced or contrived?”

Criss’ Blaine sang so Ryan Jamaal Swain’s Damon (Pose) could shine. Will Truman and Jack McFarland kissed so Kevin Keller (Riverdale) could cruise for cock in the woods.

This year, I spoke to many a filmmaker and actor about Hollywood’s representation challenges. Newcomer

Hank Chen

(Life Size 2) and Oscar-nominated Philadelphiascreenwriter

Ron Nyswaner

both told me about the consistent need to justify having a queer characters in scripts in the first place.

“I am optimistic there soon won’t be a justification needed for an Asian person or a gay person in a script,” says Chen. “They won’t have to have some sort of trauma—unless it serves the purpose of the movie—we can just be allowed to be ordinary people, too.”

Thanks in part to the success of films and shows helmed by straight actors, we now get to have creators like Lena Waithe and Desiree Akhavan who are now creating space for others. So, no, Darren, do not pass up the next chance to play gay. Take it. You’re giving the community much-needed visibility, you’re showing our stories and our lives matter, and you’re creating opportunities for more of us to come through the door.

And honestly, our stories may not get told at all otherwise.

[mrchalamet-mrstyles]

2018 Fic Year in Review

@perpetuallyvex kindly tagged me in this. Thank you, Vex. I love and miss you and can’t wait to see you in a couple of months xoxo

1. Number of stories (including drabbles) posted to AO3:

I can’t believe it, but in 2018 I posted 13 stories to AO3. It’s the most I’ve ever written and why I am so grateful to have discovered CMBYN. It inspired me to rediscover my love of writing and for that I will always be grateful.

2. Word count posted for the year: 

Looking up this number blew my mind because I had no idea it was that much, but I apparently have posted 187,055 words in 2018- what??? That is the most I’ve ever posted, even during my Sherlock fic writing years.

3. List of works published this year (in order of posting):

the feeling still deep down This was the first fic I wrote back in January 2018. Timmy/Armie RPF. It was prompted by discussions in a group chat and became the first installment in my Futile Devices series which is my take on bts vignettes between Timmy’s birthday in 2017 and PSIFF 2018.

eyes like sky Continuation of the feeling still deep down, from Armie’s pov

Buttons an angsty porny one-off about that sweater. You know the one.

save a prayer It was a prompt I couldn’t resist. Rentboy!Timmy and Armie the actor. But it turned out to be so much more than I bargained for. Still a WIP but will be completed because I owe it to these characters for everything they have given me.

Between the Lines co-written with @694699 this fic took on a life of its own. Following the manic success of CMBYN, the boys’ careers are at an all time high.Timmy’s in London, filming The King. Armie’s in New York for his run in Straight White Men. Their friendship as strong as it ever was, they are still being lauded for their work in Italy, directors are fighting over themselves to work with them, they should be on top of the world.So why aren’t they?A peek into their world via all forms of communication.

white ferrari part 3 in the Futile Devices series. Timmy returns to New York but is in a really bad place. Armie continues to struggle.

la muvi star  A slice of life, bit of bts from my fic Save a Prayer.

delicate  It's 'technically' a college AU. Armie is the star quarterback, Timmy the kicker. But none of that is really important or even needed to know in order to read this. It was just an excuse to write these two getting it on. Finally. And, Armie is only a couple of years older than Timmy.

once bitten  A coffeeshop AU of sorts.

pink+white part 4 in the Futile Devices series

special delivery an excuse to write some porn with a twist?

flicker  This time last year, there would have been someone keeping an eye on it for him, taking the glass from his hand, waving off the waiter with a firm blue stare to keep him from overindulging. This year was… different. He was a real boy now. Grown up and on his own. It was fun, just not the same. My first foray into Stylamet territory (Timothée Chalamet and Harry Styles)

collaboration Inspired by Tim and Harry’s interview in i-D Vice mag. 

4. Fandoms I wrote for: 

I guess CMBYN is ‘technically’ the fandom, and Harry Styles fandom?

5. Pairings: 

Timmy/Armie and Timmy/Harry

6. Story with the most hits: 

Between the Lines with an astonishing 34.864 hits!

7. Story with the most kudos: 

I am so proud to say that save a prayer received the most with a staggering 1347 kudos!

8. Story with the most comments: 

Between the Lines has 2693 comments, but 6 and I both tried to respond to everything in the beginning, so the numbers may be skewed a bit due to that.

save a prayer received 1665 comments which I think is nothing to sneeze at for a solo act. 

9. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

I am definitely most proud of save a prayer. I started that fic with the idea to make it a sexy, cute romp but somewhere along the way, those boys decided they really had some issues to work out. It’s not been an easy ride, but it’s helped me in ways I never saw coming. It was the first Timmy/Armie AU in this fandom, and I’ll always be proud of that.

I’m also really proud of the Futile Devices series. There’s something very pure and ‘true’ about this series. 

10. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

It’s not that I’m not proud of them all, but I know there are some that could definitely be better, given more time, but I’ll leave that up to readers to decide.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

“Really? Then tell me, Armie Hammer , these real friends, how many of them know you can’t sleep at night? How many of them know you are scared fucking shitless about this film coming out?” Timmy steps up close, lifting his chin, close enough they are nearly chest to chest. Armie holds his breath. “How many of them know you want to fuck a rentboy while you have him tied up and defenseless? No wonder you’re divorced. Does your ex know what a fucking pervert you are?”

Armie shoves him before he knows what he’s done and Timmy stumbles back, somehow managing to stay upright, his face a study in shock.

Armie is shaking, fighting the urge to hit something. He’s so much bigger, stronger, than Timmy; knows it would take nothing to really hurt him. He doesn’t want Timmy to become his target— a victim in yet another instance of his life— so Armie moves away, shoving his hands in the pockets of his track pants.

He has no idea what to say. There is no response, not an honest one. Everything Timmy  said, he knows is somehow the truth. No one knows him. Not really. And he hates it. Armie never meant for it to be this way, unclear exactly how it had— isolated and lonely.

“You’re right. No one knows. I don’t even know how you know.”

Floor to ceiling windows flank the fireplace of Armie’s living room. He makes his way over to stand, looking past his own shallow reflection to the ocean beyond, black and endless.

Armie isn’t sure how long he’s stood there and knows he probably could have stood there forever if Timmy hadn’t spoken up.

“Sorry,” his voice barely loud enough to hear from where Armie stands.

Armie shrugs and looks at Timmy’s reflection behind him in the glass. Their eyes meet before Armie lifts his hand, pressing it against the cool, smooth surface— the only safe way he knows how to touch Timmy.

12. Share or describe a favorite review you received: 

Man, they’re all like my children, I can’t pick just one. I do have to say that I’ve never before experienced the kind of feedback and heartfelt messages that I’ve garnered from a lot of my fic. To have people tell me that I’ve inspired them? That they re-read my fics. It’s what every writer dreams of hearing.

13. A time when writing was really, really hard: 

The last half of 2018 was hard for me. Health issues, personal issues, fandom issues. It was a tsunami of funk that left me reeling and without the desire to get words on the page. I waffled on the daily on whether to delete everything entirely, whether it was worth the trouble to try and post anything for this fandom anymore. I think I’ve started to turn a page and have listened to friends and supporters, starting now to remember and understand I have to write for myself first. It’s all for the love of whatever I decide to write. That’s what matters most.

14. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: 

Timmy in save a prayer surprised me most. He’s helped me in ways I never imagined.

15. How did you grow as a writer this year: 

This is a hard question. I think I’ve learned the value in less is more. Streamlining words for maximum impact. Realising I value substance over flash. I need a story and not just sexy times or that sex isn’t the most integral part of a really well told story. I think, moreso in this fandom than any other I’ve ever been in, that that’s become the case and it’s just not something I’m interested in.

16. How do you hope to grow next year:

I definitely plan on finishing things in 2019. Working on original fic and branching out into other fandoms, maybe. I want to get back to writing for the love of a story. That is a feeling like no other and I miss it.

17. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): 

Hands down that would have to be @iknowthebattle. Her unwavering support and guidance and friendship has seen me through some really hard times. But her writing inspires me beyond anything else and I strive with every word I put down to somehow try to live up to her standards. (I never will because, jesus, she’s the real deal) 

And of course, I have to steal Vex’s answer here too and say, the READERS. Every last one of you that have messaged me with love and heartfelt support, to keep going, the comments and all the lovely praise, it doesn’t go unread or unnoticed and definitely makes me want to keep writing. Thank you all so very much. <3

18. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: 

Surprisingly, yes. And I didn’t see it coming when I started it, but save a prayer and Timmy’s struggle became my own as I worked through issues I thought I’d long put behind me.

19. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: 

Cheesy as it sounds- just do it. Who cares if it’s been done before, if it’s a trope we’ve seen a million times? No one has done it the way you will do it. It is true, the more you write, the better you get. Just keep at it. Let life inspire you. Fill the world with your words and love.

20. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: 

I have a couple of ideas and half-formed fics in my drafts that I hope will see the light of day this year. I know I want to finish save a prayer and try to publish it at some point as original fic. But there’s not rush. I’m not sure where I go from here. Timmy/Armie RPF may not be something I write anymore once these fics are finished, so the world is mine for the picking I guess.

21. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

I’ll tag a couple of fandom writers that really inspire me- @iknowthebattle @etal-later @dreamofhorses42 @cumpeachx

And, @cristinasea, I know you don’t write, but you are such a prolific reader and just the bestest pal, we need to come up with one of these for readers, to get your perspective. Maybe we can chat about it ;)

Thanks again, @perpetuallyvex for the tag. This turned out like a walk down memory lane. <3

[moviechats]

Way Too Early Predictions: Oscars 2020

Hello. It’s me, again.

I know we’re still digesting Hollywood’s Biggest Night and reminiscing about the past few months of Awards and Honors (just me....?). But it’s time to put that behind us. We’re looking towards the future now.

I always enjoy award season, even if it is disappointing and I’m left bitter and defeated. But guess what? We always have next year to look forward to. And now we’re going to take a sneak peak at what may be on the horizon for 2020.

It’s time...for my Way Too Early Oscar Predictions

During the Oscars this year we were treated to a nice little teaser for Martin Scorsese’s latest film, the Irishman which will most likely be competing next year. I’ve been following this film since it was announced, ready for the Oscar potential that comes with any Scorsese film. Right now, all that’s listed for a synopsis on IMDB is, “A mob hitman recalls his possible involvement with the slaying of Jimmy Hoffa.“ I mean...sign me up right there. The cast also features Oscar veterans, Al Pacino and Robert De Niro, as well as Joe Pesci and Harvey Keitel. It’s been a hot minute since Scorsese’s last Best Director win and even his last nomination. The only thing that slows this train down for me is the fact it’s been scooped up by Netflix. I still don’t think Netflix movies should be considered for Oscars and I absolutely hate watching movies at home that should be seen in the theater. Unless Netflix releases this into theaters and acts as a distributor, I may not be as hyped about this when it’s actually released as I am now. But...I’m still super into this and wouldn’t be at all surprised if it becomes an award show darling.

Potential nominations: Picture, Director, Acting, Screenplay

Speaking of another film starting it’s campaign early...

The first full trailer for the Elton John biopic, Rocket Man just dropped this past week and you know after the success of Bohemian Rhapsody they’ll be setting their sights on awards. Taron Egerton seems a high prospect for a Best Actor nomination and I’d love to see this nominated for costumes (the same way I wanted Bohemian to be nominated...iconic looks!). I’m super excited about this one since I just caught Elton on his last tour and, to be honest, I love any movie about musicians (but don’t classify them as musicals!). Several articles have already claimed Taron has started his campaign for award seasons (after he showed up to sing at Elton’s annual Oscar party), and honestly why shouldn’t he? The only foreseeable problem (besides the possibility it could always be terrible...we’ve only seen the trailer) is that it comes out in May. In entertainment terms, it’s practically an eternity between May and true Oscar season. I mean, A Star is Born came out in October (although it premiered in August at the Venice Film Festival) and lost steam so fast, by the time January rolled around it seemed like a distant memory. I’m not sure this could pull off a Best Picture nomination. It will probably depend on what else is nominated and how many films they decide.

Potential nominations: Picture, Acting, Screenplay, Costumes, Cinematography

It’s not a biopic, but another film based on a true story coming in hot is  A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, a film featuring Tom Hanks as the iconic Mr. Rogers. It’s not a biopic about Rogers’ life, but rather a true story revolving around his friendship with journalist Tom Junod. I’m personally glad it’s not a biopic or biography-type movie, since we already had the phenomenal documentary released this past year. Tom Hanks has already started generating Oscar buzz even though all we’ve been granted is a single photo of him in character. That’s all we need, though! Tom is the perfect choice to play the kind and gentle Rogers and a Best Actor nomination is probably on the horizon. It’s also directed by Marielle Heller who helmed one of my favorite films of 2018, Can You Ever Forgive Me. I sincerely hope the Academy fixes their screw up of 2018 and nominates her next year. I’d like to say it’s a lock, but since she’s a woman, who knows (yes I’m throwing shade at the Academy. I’ll do it all day)? With a November release date, they definitely have awards on the brain.

Potential nominations: Actor, Director, Screenplay

The film that I’m personally the most excited for is Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. I love Tarantino films and really just Tarantino in general. When the announcement about this film was initially made, it mentioned the Manson murders and, despite my love for Tarantino, I will admit I rolled my eyes and thought “not another one.” But the synopsis has shifted, now listed on IMDB as “A faded TV actor and his stunt double strive to achieve fame and success in the film industry during the final years of Hollywood's Golden Age in 1969 Los Angeles” with Wikipedia mentioning all of this taking place during the same time as the Manson murder. So now I’m more intrigued. Where does Sharon Tate fit in? How do they Manson murders come in to play? Oh my goodness I already can’t wait for this film. As if that wasn’t enough, our main leads are two former Hollywood “It” men, Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio. As far as I can remember, the two have never starred in a film together which is insane. The film also boats a cast that includes Margot Robbie, Dakota Fanning, Al Pacino, and Kurt Russell. With all those names, it seems likely that someone will land an acting nomination. There’s probably going to be stiff competition, but I’d love if Leonardo snagged another Best Actor (or  even Supporting Actor) nomination and it’d be great to see Brad Pitt maybe even win. Hollywood loves Hollywood and they seem pretty fond of Tarantino, so I wouldn’t be surprised with a Best Picture nod and maybe even a Golden Globe win. Tarantino has also won the Original Screenplay Oscar twice, so a nomination seems almost given. This also marks his ninth movie, which if he sticks with the plan, will be his second to last before his retirement (or long hiatus. I have a hard time believing he’d be gone for long). If he starts playing that up again, it could help boost him to a nomination, if not a win.

Predicted nominations: Director, Acting, Screenplay,

Some other titles being tossed around...

Harriet, about the life of Harriet Tubman, has started gaining steam. I haven’t read too much about it yet, but given the powerful figure it’s about, it seems ripe for Award Season. Predicted nominations: Best Picture and Best Actress.

The Report made quite the splash at Sundance. I have mixed feelings, since I usually find any films about our government not directed by Adam McKay to be boring and dry. Listen, we live with the government, we don’t need to be reminded of what’s going on. But this one does have two of my favorite people, Adam Driver and Annette Bening, and started generating Oscar buzz as soon as its premier was over. I’d die if Adam Driver makes another trip to the Academy Awards and I don’t know what I’d do if he wins. Annette Bening may be our Glenn Close of next season, as she has also never won an Oscar and it could be her time. Predicted nominations: Picture, Actress, (supporting) Actor, Screenplay

Little Women will be Greta Gerwig’s next feature film, following on the success of Lady Bird, which saw it’s own Oscar acknowledgement (although it left empty handed). I’ve never been a fan of the story, but to be honest I’ve never read all of it. I’m giving this a chance since I love Greta and the cast includes her darling Saoirse Ronan and everybody’s boyfriend Timothée Chalamet, as well as Emma Watson, Florence Pugh (my favorite fresh face) and Meryl Streep (an Oscar staple). Could this be incredibly boring? Yes. But it could also be an award season favorite since it is a period piece. The Academy loves those.. Predicted nominations: Picture, Director, Screenplay, Costumes.

These are just some of the titles that have been thrown around so far. After my least favorite year for film in a long time, I’m looking forward to this new crop. Tarantino, Scorsese, Gerwig, a film with Adam Driver, and biopics abound! I’m so ready for 2019. Here we go.

[rapeculturerealities]

Javier Bardem has come to the defense of Woody Allen in response to other actors distancing themselves from the film-maker.

The Oscar-winning actor, who worked with Allen on 2008’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona, has said in a new interview that he is “absolutely not” ashamed of starring in the film.

“If there was evidence that Woody Allen was guilty, then yes, I would have stopped working with him, but I have doubts,” he said in an interview with Paris Match.

After resurfaced allegations of sexual abuse made by Allen’s daughter Dylan Farrow, a host of actors have spoken out about working with the film-maker. Stars including Ellen Page, Michael Caine and Greta Gerwig all said they would never work with him again.

“I am very shocked by this sudden treatment,” Bardem said. “Judgments in the states of New York and Connecticut found him innocent. The legal situation today is the same as in 2007.”

In fact no charges were filed after Farrow accused him of molesting her when she was a child, something that Allen denies. Despite a state’s attorney saying he had “probable cause” to prosecute, Allen was never put on trial, a move intended to spare Dylan Farrow the trauma of a court appearance, the prosecutor said.

An op-ed from Dylan Farrow in December, criticizing the hypocrisy of actors for keeping quiet over the alleged abuse from her father, led to more speaking out. “I can only speak for myself and what I’ve come to is this: if I had known then what I know now, I would not have acted in the film,” Gerwig said in a roundtable discussion for the New York Times. “I have not worked for him again, and I will not work for him again.”

Allen’s next film, A Rainy Day in New York, is still awaiting release. Two of its stars, Rebecca Hall and Timothée Chalamet, have already donated their salaries to charity. “I want to be worthy of standing shoulder to shoulder with the brave artists who are fighting for all the people to be treated with the respect and dignity they deserve,” wrote Chalamet in an Instagram post.

Bardem’s response arrives after Alec Baldwin also made his defense of the director clear. “Woody Allen was investigated forensically by two states (NY and CT) and no charges were filed,” Baldwin tweeted. “The renunciation of him and his work, no doubt, has some purpose. But it’s unfair and sad to me. I worked w WA 3 times and it was one of the privileges of my career.”

Diane Keaton has also continued to support the film-maker. “Woody Allen is my friend and I continue to believe him,” she tweeted in January.

[leafle]

Ahhh man, I don’t want to give in to the hype of Timothée Chalamet, to the degree in which I made a list of reasons for how he got where he is now which reads:

1. He’s a young white cis male actor, you don’t even need to be physically attractive to already have a HUGE step up in ANY industry just by being those four qualifiers, I honestly probably don’t even have to go on, this just about sums it up

2. But also he IS physically attractive so he’s got that going for him too

3. He also comes from an extremely privileged, well-off background (and the difference is stark, I went to high school with a lot of kids exactly like him and theirs is just a totally different reality/world - I mean just consider it, to be wealthy enough to live in Manhattan is already A LOT, then to also be able to use ‘summer’ as a verb in conjunction with the phrase ‘in a European country’?? I literally grew up thinking that I couldn’t afford McDonalds???)

4. And also has a family environment that is very supportive of the arts, which I cannot stress how rare this is??? Many people (myself and my siblings included) never get the chance to pursue the arts because they are too often undervalued and invalidated as legitimate career choices. And it’s not just emotional support, it’s also providing an actively nurturing environment of exposure to the arts, which imo is literally priceless

4. He has had COPIOUS amounts of quality education that is only available to a selective and exclusive few (although saying this I have to acknowledge I was also privileged to attend a very similarly selective and exclusive high school/literally a neighboring school of similar caliber, though come to think of it, I should’ve transferred to Timothée’s school when I had the chance, but I didn’t because see above re:unsupportive parents)

In art you don’t get to make your luck, you are ruthlessly at its mercy. 

So all that said, yes I am absolutely bitter and self-conscious that someone younger than me (albeit only by 2 years) has attained such critical acclaim and success in an artistic field. I’m super sensitive to this kind of harsh, comparative self-criticism. And I definitely hold this list of privileges against him because I’m petty and insecure like that. 

AND YET despite this (frankly embarrassing on my part) mountain of evidence I have amassed against him, I still think he’s charming HAHAHHAAHA

Because he seems to have at least some degree of self-awareness regarding his privileges, and on top of that seems to be a genuinely humble kind of guy with a relatively levelheaded perspective on the industry. I’m even willing to give him a pass re:his Woody Allen film because although it’s a little bit too-little-too-late, he also did literally put his money where his mouth is when he finally recognized the repercussions of his actions. 

So what the heck, I guess I support this dorky, french-speaking, floppy haired skinny white boy. 

(whispers: for now.....)

[hmmidontthinkso]

The 2020 Academy Awards... Oh, Oscar.

Thank god you came in on time! Alright, ill keep this intro snappy because we have a lot on our plates to discuss. From red carpet no no’s to looks that made my jaw drop!! This years 2020 Oscars was charming, as always... but I do have my concerns. And no, I'm not salty because my predictions were totally off... Lets begin shall we! 

Timothée Chalamet - Parking Attendant

Oh no, this hurts my heart. I can't do it! But I must. I’ll put my intense feelings for the Chalamet aside for a moment to say, that this midnight-blue Prada look was a big no from me. Yes, Timmy can literally pull of anything, trash bag included... yet, there is a time and place for everything and this simply missed the mark for this specific event. I expected better from our fashion god. But word on the street is (and ya didn't hear it from me), this blatant disregard for the Academy’s dress code was done on purpose due to the fact that he was snubbed for a nomination 2 years in a row now. But still, can we admit he looks like a parking attendant? Forgive me Timmy, but... 

Hmm, I don't think so.

Kristen Wiig- Barely Walking Tampon

Honey, what were you thinking! It’s always a risk to wear red on the red carpet, it must be done perfectly and elegantly. Stylist and celebrities always have to be careful with this color, to make sure that both reds from the carpet and the gown coincide and not clash. Kristen my dear, I'm afraid this was a catastrophic crash. The casualties: Valentino. Although, I was a fan of Valentino’s springs Haute Couture 2020 collection, this dress was certainly not my favorite on the runway either. The tulle along with the taffetas volants just didn't work and she sadly ended up looking like a wobbling walking tampon. Kristen, you're comedy gold and so was this dress... Hmm, I don’t think so. 

Janelle Monae-  Ratchet Riding Hood

As Janelle sings herself, "I’m not America's nightmare, I’m the American Dream,” and I couldn't agree less. This Ralph Lauren crystal encrusted gown with its hood was a big miss for me on Monae. I really can't say much but that. She really did that. She looks like if little red riding hood and a disco ball had a baby. And the red lip was just the cherry on top...I would have opted for something more feathery and light. There’s just too much going on! No one should shine brighter than Brad Pitt’s smile... it’s a crime if you ask me. Am I being too harsh?...

Hmm, I don’t think so.

Natalie Portman- Statement Goddess

On another lighter note... Yes to a feminist QUEEN! Honestly, this is why I love events like this because of people like Natalie (heart eyes) who just stun as alll. This black and gold Dior number was by far my favorite of the night. The embroidery and gold detail are to die for, which nicely complimented Natalie’s bronze hair and complexion. But the show stopper was definitely the matching cape where Portman included the names of all of the female directors who weren't nominated for the Best Director prize this year. A statement. A goddess. I Stan. 

Hmm, I totally think so!

[celebritylive]

From key fashion player to lifestyle guru, Jenna Lyons is making moves in 2020.

The former president and creative director of J.Crew, 51, is flexing her design skills at the SAG Awards once again — but this time, she focused on interior and home decor by creating the interview booth for PEOPLE and Entertainment Weekly’s red carpet pre-show.

Lyons, who’s set to launch a multi-platform project that includes a TV series and a corresponding e-commerce platform dedicated to all things fashion, home and lifestyle with Turner Entertainment, decorated the open-air SAG Awards platform with white, yellow and pale pink floral arrangements by Yasmine Mei, hanging greenery and a large potted plant. It also features white columns and large PEOPLE and EW signage.

Ahead of tonight’s show, Lyons spoke to PEOPLE about the design process, relaunching her Instagram account and what’s next (including an upcoming TV show!).

What inspired the PEOPLE and EW interview booth?

“I’ve always had a soft spot for vintage Hollywood glamour. We looked at images of James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, and a recent image of Hailey Bieber. In this bright and crazy world of fast-moving content, I wanted to create a space that was designed for a level of intimacy.

“One of my favorite people and creators in Los Angeles is Matthias from Atelier MVM. His home is a design dream – a beautiful oasis of quirky, interesting, and inspiring pieces, many of which he designs himself. I wanted to incorporate elements of playfulness and texture with old English fabrics from House of Hackney to create a sense of vintage Hollywood glamour with a modern twist.”

What’s the trick for floral styling in the L.A. heat? 

“What heat would that be? Right now I’m wearing a scarf and a cashmere sweater!”

You’re kicking off the new decade with a new show! What can fans expect? 

“I spent my career at J.Crew creating beautiful things and looking for unique ways to put them together. When I left, I found myself doing the same thing for family and friends. It gave me the idea to start my own business, one that’s focused not only on fashion, but home and beauty as well. My goal is to help you find beautiful things that fit your own style. On the show you’ll join me on my journey, as I figure out what I want the business to look like, how to build it, and how I assemble the team to get there!”

How does the new show expand your fashion background into a broader lifestyle space?

“While my job at J.Crew focused on producing clothing, I had the opportunity to work on special stores and lots of beauty projects. The show is allowing me to spread my wings and take on interiors and beauty in a deeper way.”

You’ve cited brands like Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop and Joanna Gaines’ Magnolia as ones that inspire you. How will your lifestyle empire be parallel but also different?  

“Well, empire is a big word. I think similarities would include the process of curation and story-telling blended with commerce. The differences stem from point of view and the fact that their empires are already built and I’m just starting out!”

Who in Hollywood does red carpet fashion the best? Why? 

“Timothée Chalamet never disappoints. Olivia Wilde. Jennifer Lopez kills me. Rami Malek – I’m obsessed. Phoebe Waller-Bridge is new to the scene and killing it. Lupita – my dream. Awkwafina – also new to the scene. Margot Robbie – dead. Zendaya, because I can’t get enough of her. Lizzo because she doesn’t play by the rules.”

What’s your go-to uniform these days?

“A Tom Ford suit (yes, from the men’s section).”

You’re back on Instagram! What do you love about social media and what do you find taxing? 

“I love the connection, support and dialogue with people. The taxing part is feeling the pressure to keep up the connection, support and dialogue with people!”

Watch the PEOPLE, Entertainment Weekly & TNT Red Carpet Live: 26th Screen Actors Guild Awards on Sunday starting at 5:30 p.m. ET/2:30 p.m. PT on People.com. Stay tuned for the annual SAG Awards airing on TNT and TBS at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT.

RELATED: SAG Awards Nominations 2020 Announced: Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt and Jennifer Lopez Get Nods 

View this post on Instagram Half of this hair is a rental.

A post shared by Jenna Lyons (@jennalyonsnyc) on Jan 12, 2020 at 9:52am PST

//www.instagram.com/embed.js

And speaking with PEOPLE on the SAG Awards red carpet, Lyons said designing the interview platform was a “great opportunity to showcase” her style.

“Believe it or not, much to my mother’s deep excitement, I’m launching a show this year. Terrifying,” she said with a laugh. “It’s really focusing around fashion, home and beauty and my perspective around those things.”

In 2017, news broke that Lyons was exiting J. Crew after 26 years with the brand.

RELATED: Jenna Lyons Splits from Longtime Girlfriend Courtney Crangi

“Jenna and I got together and we both agreed it was time for a change,” then-J.Crew Chief Executive Millard “Mickey” Drexler told Business of Fashion at the time. “That being said, she’s got plans to do other things. It’s been a great run. There’s a lot of mutual respect between Jenna and me.”

The announcement came as a surprise to many people in the fashion industry because Lyons had established Lyons herself as the face of the brand (thanks in part to her signature Moscot black glasses) and revamped the J. Crew aesthetic using neon, sequins and statement accessories.

Still, she shared similar sentiments.

“It has been beyond my wildest dreams to work with such an amazing team of people at such an incredible brand and alongside Mickey—one of retail’s most talented visionaries,” she said in a statement in 2017. “I am excited about the next chapter for J.Crew as well as the opportunity for other creative leaders within the organization to step up and take on new responsibilities. Having spent the better part of my life with J.Crew, I feel an immense pride and love for everyone at the company.”

The 26th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards are airing live Sunday starting at 8 p.m. ET on TNT and TBS.

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[kvzbrekkrs]

Tag Game: Tag ten people you’d like to get to know better! I was tagged by @jvimelvnnisters​ - thank you lovely! ♥

Put your playlist on shuffle and name the first four songs:

The Archer - Taylor Swift No - Meghan Trainor Colors pt. II - Halsey Love of my Life - Queen

Grab the nearest book. Turn to page 23, Line 27.

“If you’re lucky, a volcra will have me for breakfast tomorrow and then you won’t have to fret anymore” ~ Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo.

Ever had a song or poem written about you?

yikes, yes. it was cringe

When was the last time you played air guitar?

like a few months ago when introducing my offspring to queen

Celebrity crushes?

LOOK, there’s a lot of them but specifically RIGHT NOW i’m obssessed with austin butler, timothée chalamet, tessa thompson, tom holland, zenday and nathalie emmanuel my FOREVER celeb crushes are: harrison ford, jeff goldblum, and kiera knightley

Sounds you hate/love?

i have meniere’s disease and an auditory disorder so i have a complicated relationship with sound but.....

Sounds I love include: thunder, rain, wind, the ocean, my children’s laughter and singing, my mama’s voice

Sounds that I hate include: cutlery scraping plates, screechy chalkboard sound, repetitive high pitched beeping, anything high pitched and piercing, sound coming from multiple sources (when i’m trying to watch/listen to something and someone thinks it’s okay to pull out their phone and like talk or watch/listen to something at the same time, it really fucks me up bro) that weird electronic hum? <---incomplete list but yeah

Do you drive, and have you ever crashed?

i drive, i’ve been rear ended like 3 times

Last book you read?

i just finished the grisha trilogy by leigh bardugo 

Do you believe in ghosts?

yeah

Do you believe in aliens?

i’ve definitely seen a ufo once or twice

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

it depends

Last movie you saw?

oh gosh i cant remember

Do you have an obsession right now?

the grisha trilogy!!!

Do you tend to hold grudges?

i like the think i dont

I AM TAGGING: @ohmyfandoms @misology @comepraisetheinfanta @podrickpaynest @hanorganaas @thesunsumm0ner @king-of-ravka​ @theravkansaint​ @finicky-finnick​ @hekaates​ and anyone else who wants to take part!