#and yes Chris Pratt is there too

[swan2swan]

True Jurassic franchise enlightenment comes through realizing that the Jurassic World script is five times tighter than Jurassic Park's, and that's okay.

[natashaslesbian]

Oh! Scarlett introduces R to her colleagues (at the outset or Marvel set) and she gets a bit shy so R sticks by her mom

Mamas Girl

Word Count: 988

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Today was the annual ‘bring your kid to work day’ on the marvel set, the filming of Endgame had been taking place for a few months and finally a date had been set for all the actors to bring their kids with them for the day. You had managed to avoid all the previous meetings, saying you needed to study or that you had a headache. You had met most of the cast on a few occasions by now, that wasn’t the problem, it was the amount of people that caused the hair to rise on the back of your neck. You were also the oldest kid, being in your early teens while the rest were toddlers, it’s not like you could hang out with them. You had tried so hard to get out of this day, but your mom pushed every problem aside. She even moved the dentist appointment you made yourself to next week so you could come to set, you just didn’t want to upset her by saying you’d rather not go.

You arrived at 11:30am and most of the cast had already arrived for the day. You stuck close by your mom as she said her hellos and just politely waved when they acknowledged you. “Come on sweetie there’s a few new people I wanna introduce you to” Scarlett said as she pulled you out of her trailer with her. You stuck closely by your mom as the two of you made your way through the set. “Y/n this is Chris Pratt, Chris this is my daughter” Scarlett said introducing you to yet another Chris “ah the little Johansson, pleasure to meet you” he said as he extended his hand “hi” you mumbled shaking his hand in greeting. “Oh there’s Joe, I just need to speak to the director hunny I’ll be back in a minute” Scarlett said as she began to walk away “wait can I come with you?” You called after her “I won’t be long y/n, I think Lizzie’s around if you want to find her” your mom called back.

You wanted to run after your mom but your feet were stuck to the ground. “So” Chris said awkwardly “how old are you y/n” he politely asked “14” you mumbled shyly, scanning the room for any sign of someone safe, preferably your mom. “I think Scarlett will be back in a second, sorry I’ve gotta run to makeup, it was nice meeting you” Chris said excusing himself from the awkward situation. You felt your legs begin to shake as you continued to search the room for your mom, a few cast members flashed you small smiles but you just ignored their gazes. “Hey kiddo” a voice called from behind you, you thanked the stars when you realised it was Lizzie. “Hi Elizabeth” you quietly said as she led you to a nearby couch “you waiting for your mom?” She said “and you can call me Lizzie by the way” she bumped your arm. You nodded politely and began biting your finger nails.

Lizzie attempted to make some small talk with you but as she figured it was more of a one sided conversation. “Lizzie!” Scarlett beamed as she came back over to you both “its great to see you” she said as the two said hello with a hug. You allowed the two a brief catch up while you came to your mom’s side, the anxiety finally subsiding. “Alright sweetie I’m not needed for a little while so you wanna go back to my trailer?” Scarlett asked you “yes please” you said. The two of you said goodbye to Lizzie and made your way back to Scarlett’s trailer. You held on tightly to her hand as you danced through the crowds. “You ok y/n?” Scarlett said when you grabbed her hand, you simply nodded. “Hey talk to me little bear” she cooed as she opened the door to her trailer.

“I’m sorry” you whispered as your mom led you towards the couch “there’s just a lot of people here that I don’t know” you mumbled. “Oh sweetie” Scarlett said as she cuddled up with you “I’m sorry I should’ve realised it might be too much for you” she said. “I don’t mean to be like this, I’m sorry” you sighed “hey stop apologising” Scarlett said as she gentle brushed your hair from your face “there’s nothing wrong with being a little shy you know” she cooed. “How do you do it, all the people you have to talk to?” You asked, avoiding her gaze. “Well I guess I’ve been doing it for so long I don’t really think about it anymore” Scarlett said “but I still get nervous sometimes. I know it probably looks like I’m really outgoing but it’s just part of my job, I’d much rather be curled up with you all day” your mom said, lifting your chin up to meet her gaze.

You leaned into Scarlett’s embrace and gently closed your eyes “love you mama” you said as you buried your face in her neck “I love you too my little bear” Scarlett kissed your forehead. Your nap was short lived as your mom gently shook you awake “baby I’ve gotta go makeup do you wanna come with me?” She asked. You groaned as you tried to pull her back to cuddling you “wanna stay here with you mommy” you mumbled sleepily. “Me too sweetheart but mommy has to work” Scarlett said giving your tummy a soft tickle “you can sit with me the whole time I promise, even on mamas lap if you want too” your mom teased. “I’m not a baby” you pouted “well you’re my baby” Scarlett said as she helped you to your feet. “My shy little baby, you know I wouldn’t want you any other way than yourself” she said as she kissed your forehead. “Mom don’t be so soppy” you laughed.

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Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904

[musette22]

Seb is 6' which isn't small but he looks teeny sat between Chris Pratt (6'2") and David Harbour (6'3") Yes they have a few inches over him but i think just shows Seb's height is all in his legs - he sits down and turns into teacup Seb

Teacup Seb. Teacup Seb. Oh my god that is delightful, I love it so much 😂 Please we all have to use that phrase from now on, it's too good lmao

But yes, I think that's a very accurate observation, he does look small next to them and even though those other guys are taller, they're not that much taller. And we know Seb has long legs, so it would make sense that he'd look smaller sitting down. Ergo, teacup Seb.

[melishade]

Majority of Transformers fans when something new such as Transformers One trailer is released:

BTW; what’s your reaction to Transformers One?  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes, the trailer came out today for those who are still out of the loop.

And I have some thoughts.

You can tell that there was a lot of love put into the animation. It's smooth. It's clean and vibrant. There are Cybertronian animals and landscape. Because a lot of the Transformers stories take place on Earth because the planet is already destroyed from war. Even when we do see the planet in the animated series in the past, it mainly focuses on the cities and urban places. I think Cyberverse was the first one I've seen really branch out into other locations on Cybertron and have settings and stories take place there, but I could be wrong in terms of animated series. I'm certain they expand on other locations on Cybertron in the comics. I just don't have access to them.

The actually designs feel like a mix of G1 and IDW. However the faces are still something that I have to get used to.

It looks like their taking a page out of the Aligned Continuity where the Quintessions invade before the war begins.

The cast also not having the ability to transform and not knowing how to is so jarring. Like that's so freaking weird. IDK why.

Keegan Michael Key is no doubt doing his regular stand up shtick and what not. He's not really doing anything to change his voice or make it stand out. When I hear Key play Bumblebee, I just hear Key. But the jokes for Bumblebee have been really solid, and I find it funny that Bumblebee is killing people on purpose and accident.

I don't have too much to say about Johansson's voice acting for Elita 1 because we only get a few lines from her, but the animation for her is smooth.

Again, so weird hearing Megatron sound so young and full of life. Like hearing Brian Tyree Henry speak as Megatron genuinely threw me off. Like what the hell. I'm so used to hearing Megatron sound so tired, angry, or ragged, not annoyed and cautious!

But I have to say, Chris Hemsworth was great as Orion Pax. An unexpected stand out. I was so worried about Chris being Orion Pax because he's never done voice acting before aside from voicing Thor, and he didn't seem to have too much knowledge of Transformers, calling Transformers One the first animated feature length film for the franchise, clearly forgetting about G1. Say what you will about Keegan, Scarlett, and Brian, they have voice acting experience in different animated shows and films. Hemsworth had practically none. But I heard that he personally spoke with Peter Cullen and asked him for advice. And it does show. Like it's not like a Chris Pratt performance where he's just doing whatever. At some moments, you can still tell that it is Hemsworth, but at other moments it does feel like this is Orion. He's genuinely putting in a lot of effort and I have to say props to him.

Also, I'm glad Orion is shown to be feral, putting a goddamn jetpack on Megatron. That's great.

I am still cautiously optimistic about the movie. But we will see what happens.

[ponett]

I have now finally seen the Mario movie. It was Pretty Good. Here are my wordy thoughts on it. (I am going to spoil the entire movie. Duh.)

In many ways, the Mario movie does what I wish the first Sonic movie had done. They just took the characters and the premise and the world from the games, and made it a straightforward animated adventure movie. It's bright and colorful and remixes things JUST enough to include fun elements from multiple games, and it doesn't make Mario get adopted by James Marsden or whatever. It even has the music!

That's all you really need, right? Right...?

I'll get this out of the way up front. Chris Pratt was fine. He's fine

If anything, it really feels like they did the movie a disservice by letting us hear so little of the Mario voice in the previews. It took one scene for Pratt to disappear into the role for me. It was totally fine. If anything, I found Charlie Day's normal voice coming out of Luigi WAY more distracting, even if I did like him in the role.

Everyone else was pretty good, for the most part. Jack Black was obviously very good as Bowser, but I'm biased. Seth Rogen does the Seth Rogen laughs as Donkey Kong, but I thought DK was fun, too. (I liked his little rivalry with Mario where he was just constantly giving him shit.) The only casting choice I truly hated was Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong. I hated every line that came out of his mouth. He sounds atrocious. Just the worst. I swear to fucking god if they do a DKC movie and we have to hear him for 90 minutes

I did think Peach was lacking, but that was on the script, not Anya Taylor-Joy's performance. It's cool to see Peach fight, but it's one of those all too common instances where the writers put so much effort into making the main girl kick ass and be an effortlessly confident girlboss that they forgot to give her an actual personality. Not that I'd point to Super Princess Peach and its mood swing superpowers as positive representation or anything, but there's a happy middle ground, surely. Shrek was 22 years ago, just having the princess do flying kung fu kicks isn't enough.

Okay. With the voices out of the way, let's talk about the big picture:

It's way better than the words "Illumination Mario movie" implied, and I mostly enjoyed my time with it. The spirit of Mario is there 100%. But I'd also describe it as "ruthlessly efficient."

This was perhaps the main complaint critics had, and they were absolutely right. People have responded to these totally average reviews with "Well, what did you expect? Shakespeare?! It's MARIO!!" Like, yes, I would prefer it if the movie I paid to see had writing that was good instead of bad. What a shocker. My issue isn't that it's not "high-brow" enough. The problem is that it feels mercenary. It feels like an editor went through and deleted almost every line of dialogue that isn't some form of exposition, at the expense of the pacing. Any scene that's not a montage or some sort of action is kept as short as they could make it, with barely any room for embellishment, character interaction, or anything other than the bare minimum word count to hit all the typical Save the Cat Hollywood screenwriting 101 story beats to the letter. There aren't even as many jokes as you might think (and the ones that are there are extremely hit or miss, including a lot of the slapstick with Mario himself).

Mario and Peach's little arc together in the front half of the film is probably the worst example of this pacing. Even having read reviews that complained about how fast Peach goes from meeting Mario (by her admission the first other human she's ever met) to deciding to train him as the new savior of the Mushroom Kingdom, I was SHOCKED at how fast it was. They don't even lampshade it.

Peach takes Mario straight into the big training sequence where he learns how to use mushrooms and jump over platforming obstacles. Peach is apparently already a hypercompetent platforming pro and a great fighter, so there's no clear reason why she's taking the time to train this random guy to be half as good as her when the world is in danger. Then they set off on their adventure, Toad joins them, and we get a VERY brief travel montage. It's about thirty seconds total - just long enough to give Peach a line about how she wants to protect this beautiful world of hers to try and give her some stakes. We get the genre-mandated nighttime campfire heart to heart, which is exactly long enough to have Mario say he misses Luigi and to have Peach give the two sentence summary of her origin story and not a second longer. Then they reach the Kongs, and their big journey is complete. (They barely interact for the rest of the movie.) So much of the movie is like this - always ready to get on to the next scene as soon as a new one starts.

I'm not criticizing the script because I expect The Super Mario Bros. Movie to be a prestige drama - although there are certainly halfhearted attempts at a dramatic arc. The stuff with Mario's family was a fun enough idea, but again, ruthless efficiency. We get one quick scene with them at the start to give Mario some pathos, because I guess Save the Cat said he's gotta have some pathos. And then Mario gets his dad's approval amidst the action of the final battle in Brooklyn to resolve his arc, just so the movie can end as quickly as possible once Bowser is defeated. (Despite now having the approval of their family and their community back in Brooklyn, Mario and Luigi move to the Mushroom Kingdom off-screen without a single word dedicated to this decision, because that's where they live in the games.)

Look. I am not comparing it to The Godfather. Don't give me that shit. I am not asking for an extra half hour to explore Mario and Luigi's childhood trauma. I am not asking for the complex inner workings of the Mushroom Kingdom monarchy. I know this is gonna be a basic Hero's Journey adventure for kids. It just feels like it's turning down so many opportunities to have a little fun with the characters, to let them interact and play off of each other, to let there be some adventure on this adventure. This is the first time we've gotten to see these characters interact with fully voiced dialogue in a very, very long time! "Yeah, it's not High Art, but it's FUN!" Stories are fun! Character interactions are fun! The script could be having so much more fun!! It is adamantly against making the Story parts of this story-driven movie any more Fun than they functionally need to be!!!

Mario, Peach, and Toad's journey to find the Kongs is shorter than the training montage that precedes it. After the opening, Bowser mostly just sits in his castle and waits for the third act to start. Luigi's there, too, but he only gets one scene with Bowser and then the movie mostly forgets he exists until the climax. He doesn't even get to try and sneak out of Bowser's castle and get up to hijinx. He's just there to be a motivation for Mario, so he sits in a cage for half the movie. It's the bare outline of a script with action scenes added in.

Aside from the fact that it's Jack Black singing as Bowser, I feel like this overly-efficient script might be part of the reason why the "Peaches" scene stands out so much. It's a moment that didn't strictly need to be there to keep the plot moving or to provide an action setpiece. It's not even a reference to another Mario thing. It's just a fun and memorable little character moment that's there for its own sake. That's what the movie needed more of. To stop and smell the roses more often. To play in the space.

To be clear, this isn't a unique problem with this movie. Critics have been noting for years that second acts are disappearing from big Hollywood movies in favor of the Act I plot setup and the Act III action, even though Act II is supposed to be where you get to explore your actual premise. And lots of animated movies give me this exact same vibe of being too "screenwriterly," or feeling like they had an executive breathing down their necks and demanding changes based on focus testing. But these common issues are why I come away mostly feeling like the movie is on the better end of "average," rather than totally blowing my mind. You have seen this movie many times before, just not with Mario in it.

And, of course, there's the music. The score by Brian Tyler based on various classic Mario and Donkey Kong tunes (frustratingly all attributed to Koji Kondo) is absolutely beautiful, but it's unfortunately frequently overshadowed by the licensed music. Everyone already complained about things like the use of Take On Me in place of a lovingly arranged DKC medley, but it feels illustrative of the tug of war the movie is caught in the middle of, between wanting to be a lavishly faithful Mario movie and wanting to be a generic tentpole animated adventure movie. Every single licensed song used is the most obvious, overused song they could have picked for the scene. It reeks of cynical executive meddling and it took me out of the movie every time.

But there really was a lot of care and love put into this movie - more than probably any other video game movie ever made, not that that's a high bar. I don't want to underplay that too much amidst all my complaints spurred by the absolutely insane response to the reviews.

Aside from the countless background references that people will be picking apart for years, touches like the Captain Toad tune playing in the background of Toad's introduction or the Mario Kart 8 menu music playing in the kart garage really help bring it to another level of authenticity. I also enjoyed seeing some more obscure Mario enemies that felt like they were picked more for being fun to animate than for being nostalgic and marketable. No matter how many times I sarcastically pointed to the screen and deadpanned "reference. reference." I am not immune to noticing these things and smiling. I am not immune to the DK Rap. These alone don't make the movie good, but it's nice to have a video game movie that feels like it was made by people who like video games.

Most importantly, the animation is great throughout. It's leaps and bounds ahead of other Illumination work, and it's the best the Mario cast has ever looked. They even made Donkey Kong handsome, somehow. They're all so squishy and expressive, and they move so fluidly - especially in the action scenes. I particularly liked the more kinetic ones like the aerial Banzai Bill chase and the Mario Kart sequence. Truly, the Mad Max-inspired car battle on Rainbow Road where Mario literally does the speedrun shortcut is this movie firing on all cylinders.

Other, more hand-to-hand fights nail the Popeye-esque vibe Mario should be going for. He's an underdog who gets the shit kicked out of him by bigger, stronger opponents until he gets his signature powerup and turns the tables on them. My favorite animation of all probably came from the use of Cat Mario to turn the tide in the DK fight. They had so much fun making Mario move like a cat. Again, it feels like a choice made because it'd be fun to animate rather than just a nostalgia move.

It's that animation and that attention to detail that carry the film, really. They elevate it from mediocrity into being a fun watch for a fan like me, albeit one I couldn't help but pick apart with Anthony as we watched it at home. I'm glad I saw it, but there's a lot of room to improve with the inevitable sequel. I hope they do. I can't deny that I had fun with the movie, but I hope next time that fun is partially because of the script instead of in spite of it.

Stray thoughts:

Overall, I would say I enjoyed the movie a lot more than Sonic 1, but probably not as much as Sonic 2. Not that these movies need to be pitted against each other.

I hated the Luma. I hated how hilarious they clearly thought the Luma was. They have the fucking Luma break the fourth wall to end the movie and start the credits. This is going to be a deep cut for fans of bad animated films, but the whole time I was just thinking of the little fish from Romeo & Juliet: Sealed With A Kiss who's just the director's kid saying random nonsense. You know I'm right

I rolled my eyes at the "our princess is in another castle" joke and several other jokes that would have been dated in a gamer webcomic 20 years ago but I guess they had to be there

How much of Brooklyn did Bowser's giant floating castle take out? We know 9/11 happened in this universe because the Freedom Tower is there, hasn't New York been through enough

I can't believe there's a Diskun easter egg

The dog is the most Illumination character design in the movie. It felt like it wandered on set from The Secret Life of Pets

Mario being a gamer and playing Kid Icarus of all things just made me remember this tweet:

Yes Anthony did get mad at me for being thirsty for Bowser

[ninjas-and-coffee]

What I love rn about the Ninjago Live action panic is that it has almost nothing about the plot. It's about the collective and primal fear of Chris Pratt and whitewashing.

I have seen a couple plot posts, but like there was nothing to prepare us for the crackfic high-school au of the other movie. So I don't think there's any need to try and guess the plot.

Maybe we should make our own movie. Like guys, we could make the anime everyone lowkey wants from the creators. Almost everyone I know has some version of a plot fixing rewrite or retelling thats almost beat for beat with the source material. But like better with longer character arcs and more cultural accuracy.

Like besides humanity's allergy to group projects, why don't we just do it???.

Like I'll start with the basis of my retelling: S1 but with an already teenage Lloyd releasing the serpentine as a misguided attempt to gain his father's attention and being a shadow villain to the serpentine problem. Followed by a zuko style redemption arc when it is accidentally revealed that he's the green ninja in a combat situation.

The first half of the season is about the teams backstories and picking up the lore crumbs on the serpentine and why Garmadon and Wu separated while trying to figure out who has motive, and opportunity to release the serpentine. And since the Golden weapons are conduits for their power. Their true potential is learning to control their power separately from their weapons by becoming "whole" and reaching their full potential. The second half of the season reveals Lloyd's story and his shift from causing harm to gain attention to just asking for it and learning to be loved. (Yes, and sorry its Lloyd centric but he's the villain of the story untill...) Then the serpentine realize they're better together than apart and relase the Great Devourer and you essentially know the rest.

It would have a rather grim/serious tone and probably have some mixture of the demonslayer or attack on titan style. Leaning into the Japanese lore and possibly leaving hints about the nature of Oni and Dragons as more myth and legend than fact. Until a *minor god (the devourer) is released and this leaves the door open for other things to slowly become real. Personally I think the dragons could have been more sentient and revered than was shown, and I'd probably change Lloyd's name to be something Japanese with "Lloyd Garmadon" as a title he gave himself to be more like his father and it just sticks in the others minds so they keep calling him that until he's ready to shed that skin. I'd probably change the others names too or at least make them region specific. I hate hate hate childs play so I'd delete it. And Nya would take up her samurai training after being kidnapped so she doesn't feel like a burden on her brother. And uh Cole will be gay but due to the time period he feels unsafe telling others and learns to trust them. Also I'd probably kick the time period back to late Edo era Japan because the way of the ninja was still studied but becoming harder to come by. And gives a reason why there are no other Ninjutstu masters or students running around. So they're be reviving a somewhat dying art and be praised for it by commoners.

So now I ask. If YOU could retell Ninjago in a episodic anime how would you do it? What does it follow? What would you remove and why?

[raccoonfallsharder]

do you think Rocket could've used more "tech genius" moments in the movies? For someone supposedly smarter than Stark, it's not actually really shown..

love your fics btw AAAH

yayyyy! i love asks of any variety and it’s been a while since i’ve gotten one so thank you for this! ♡ unfortunately that means you’re getting a novel ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)*.ﾟ I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts if you wanna share! and also thank you for saying something so nice about my fics. im so glad you’ve enjoyed them!

and i'm turning this into

headcanon 18 ˚₊‧✶

a standard disclaimer: i am highly biased in the fact that i am like “every scene should have 100% more rocket, even scenes that are already rocket”

but i think two things are going on here

the first is that i think as a general audience, we read tony’s genius more easily than rocket’s (and yes this is a cultural indictment). tony spends a long time making a pretty iron suit with his bruce-wayne-money and some cool weird holographic touchscreens in a shiny lab, and people pick up on that more easily than rocket scavenging parts from the milano to make a bunch of bombs and a moon-killing firearm in five minutes (tantamount to less than a second of actual screen time) because it’s quick and grimy and he just keeps them in a dirty box. audiences are classist ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and im making this assertion because we do it all the time with real-life geniuses too

this relates to my second point which is that i think that “tech genius moments” probably don’t play well with a general audience when there are “too many” of them, and that in the main trilogy the writers relied on a lot of narrative cues that the audience was meant to pick up (but didn’t, or didn’t in quite the same way that they did with tony because again — pretty shiny lab vs dirty box) & we’re supposed to use those to attribute intuitive technological, strategic, and piloting genius to rocket

let’s break it down! (because im up early && work doesn’t start for another hour)

in volume one, when rocket breaks everyone out of the Kyln im pretty sure we’re meant to read that as a sequence establishing him as the tech & strategic mastermind of the group. i think that is meant to be confirmed in the sequence where in like five minutes he’s salvaged a ton of parts from the milano to make his box-o-bombs & the hadron enforcer, which is the weapon that makes the end of volume one possible, having been used to knock out ronan initially and to break the stone from the cosmi-rod or universal weapon or whatever. (keep in mind he repaired the hadron enforcer within moments of crashing the warbird into the dark aster, crashing the aster into a planet, losing his best friend, getting tossed around by the cosmi-rod, AND having only the resources available to him on a crash-site/battlefield. i do wish we’d gotten more of THIS sequence but like i guess we had to make time to watch chris pratt dance. whatever; i guess i get it from a cinematic standpoint — a classic “it was your story all along but the studio wanted us to focus on starlord” situation)

in volume two, every tech advancement the team has is directly or indirectly credited to rocket. the aero rigs being the main one, i think? but there’s also the mines in the berhert forests with the yondu clan, a conflict where one lil guy almost beat a hoarde of ravagers all by his lonesome due to his strategic genius (and i suspect still would have if not for the unexpected addition of nebula). we also have the dialogue with quill where he asserts that he’s a piloting genius. and rocket’s genius is once again the main reason they win the fight — his ability to create the battery-bomb in like twenty seconds or less.

in volume three, we see him invent gravity boots, we’re meant to attribute the creation of the bowie and presumably the entire speaker system threading knowhere to him (im not sure but possibly also the ocular cannon and some other other knowhere shit??). he’s responsible for all nebula’s upgrades (⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝) which are FANCY. and even though he’s just a babby, we see him solving complex equations, resolving problems the high evolutionary struggled with, crafting a key out of stolen odds-and-ends, and piloting a spacecraft he’s probably never even seen before.. additionally the gravity boots circle back around and are key in his overcoming the high evolutionary (through a combo of tech skill & strategic genius)

i think, narratively speaking, this is a solid amount of “genius establishment” with the time we had, imo. if we made the movies longer to add in more genius moments, i would not complain, though!

THAT SAID. look infinity war and endgame treated our boy so badly. SO badly. i feel certain that given five minutes in Nidavellir he could’ve figured out another way to get that forge up and running. I think we see rocket with the science bros working on the gauntlet (a dynamic i would quite have enjoyed more if) and working on… maybe he’s prepping the benatar for the time heist? I can’t remember, but it’s when he gives stark the classic “you’re only a genius on earth” line. but iw/endgame didn’t give a fuck about the guardians (i get it, i get it, it was the send-off for the og avengers, whatever) so it’s a lot of weak shit and i do wish we had more things establishing him as the true brains of that outfit lol

ANYWAY that’s all my thoughts!! thanks for this really fun ask!!!

[siremasterlawrence]

The Handler’s Red Carpet Express - Last Dance

Ryan Reynalds is a very hot, I mean a very truly commodity in this business so inviting him to the opening of my bar is a smooth move by me.The part is hopping inside but let’s wait a bit as the shiny black limousine rolls into the red carpet area stopping as the window slips down.

The crowd loses it as Ryan pops his head out of the window doing one his stupid ass expressions and soon enough the door swung open. He steps out feet land on the carpet as he stood fully at length so tall with a beautiful bright smile walking to the side he watches his wife and kids.

The married couple wraps the arms tightly over each other hugging so tight and his kids each by one of his sides as they smirk with white teeth. The camera man gather kneeling into all sort of positions taking pictures galore with the lights flashing ever so golden messing with his head.

The time literally stops as a various crew

of men pick up his wife placing her into the limousine closing the door behind her and then gets to it. The kids soon follow as they are placed in the limousine too to disappear from his life for a lifetime and he happily has no idea any of this is happening.

“Mr. Reynalds”

“Yyyeeesss”

“Follow us please”

“As you command”

“Shut up and go”

“Whatever you wish”

“Address me as Master Lawrence “

“Yes Master”

“We are yours”

“Strip naked “

“Hell yes”

Ryan Gosling is the next to arrive as the limo slips in the doors open up with his family at his side he poses for the camera transforms him.The man suddenly became ego driven and obsessed not even noticing his family is on a row being dragged off into the abyss of the night.

They disappear from visual range of my own eyes being drag off by that white thug in a suit and the world Ryan knows will never ever exits again.Ryan Gosling walks towards Ryan Reynalds in excitement wrapping his arms around the mindless stud who is awaiting my orders to obey.

The two stand the flashing lights roam and rove above, around and in their eyes taking away all freedom and anonymity away as if it was never willed. The lights fade everything goes black simply all that is left an empty mind made to be at my will and shrill of love and lust consuming them.

Both men are guiding them into the building faster down the staircase they go into the basement filled with floral lights ceiling to floor. The minds flick on for a bit with a whole new mindset they absently kneel the floor taking a bow completely erased of any and all free will.

“Bois please stand “

“Yes Master”

“Kiss me”

“Mmmmm”

“Fuck yeah”

“Are you straight?”

“Hell no”

“Fuck no”

“What a stupid question?”

“Not you Master”

“Good boi”

“Joel Kinnaman over here”

“You tall fuck”

“Listen you …. you”

“Listen you what?”

“Shut up!”

“Fall to your knees and kneel”

“Yes! Crawl to me”

“Kiss my shoes “

“Lick the too”

“Pull up my pants”

“Worship my legs”

“Take off my shoes and socks”

“Yes Master Lawrence “

“Worship all of my feet”

“Get to work”

“Jason Mamoa”

“Leave me be”

“Meat head “

“How the fuck”

“Who are you ?”

“Say cheese”

“You little piece of shit”

“Piece of shit huh?”

“Bbbuuuzzzz”

“FLASH”

“Dumbass”

“You are a money”

“Put on a show”

“Make it work or “

“Hahaha”

“Chris Pratt please step up”

“You too Jon”

“Pose motherfuckers”

The end

[weclassybouquetfun]

I don't watch trailers as a rule (why yes, I do want a cookie and a pat on the back for that), so I don't know if what I considered film spoilers were true spoilers or if they were already shown in the trailers. I do know I couldn't avoid some spoilers on Twitter, but thankfully DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE is so much more than the spoiler moments.

Shawn Levy, Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman, you did well.

All hail Kevin Feige, the mastermind at uniting the former Fox property with the MCU.

Feige flanked by his Marvel Universe-ers as he got his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Shawn Levy, Sebastian Stan, David Harbour,Emma Corrin, Ke Huy Quan, Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, Simu Liu Chris Pratt, Brie Larson and Kathryn Hahn of the forthcoming WANDAVISION spinoff AGATHA something..

It has gone through so many titles, I forget what it landed on.

Oh, yes. It went back to the top. AGATHA ALL ALONG with HEARTSTOPPER's Joe Locke.

But that is a topic for another day. Today is all about DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE, which, to me, is the best DEADPOOL. Yes, it's full of fan service. When is fun a bad thing?

When is whimsy a bad thing? What helps the film to not be mired in a quip a'thon was Hugh Jackman's continued grounded portrayal of Logan. I think the film would have been very annoying, if he wasn't the emotional ballast of the piece.

And yes, there is a post-credit scene, but it's not important.

SPOILERS FOR DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE. AS MANY SPOILERS AS QUIPS

SPOILERS

WHAT I LOVED

-My favourite part wasn't a part of the storyline, but during the credits when they ran a salute to the Fox Marvel films by showing clips of the film and behind-the-scenes footage (including Miles Teller from the cursed FANTASTIC FOUR film) with Green Day's "Good Riddance" (Time of Your LIfe) playing underneath it. Schmaltzy, yes, but an effective tip of the hat to what came before.

-The fourth wall break where Deadpool says the last great multiverse film was THE WIZARD OF OZ, then fast track to the end where Wolverine is told by B-15 that he can't change the past and it's because of the past he's the man who was able to save the timeline. Like Dorothy, it was in him all along.

-Hugh Jackman giving a much needed weight to the film. 5 credited writers, including Ryan Reynolds and it could easily have gone amiss. I'm all for actors feeling like they know their characters well enough to write for them or feed lines to their writers, but actors get carried away by getting too enamored with their performance or pleasing the audience, so you have Reynolds providing a joke every 2.5 minutes and then you are hit with Jackman's earnestness in conveying Logan's pain and anger (at Deadpool and himself). I'm glad they kept the depiction of Logan as it always have been and not try to make him a jokester and match Deadpool's energy.

You've been at it a long time, Bub and you're still great at it.

With his baby Oscar.

With his baby Oscar.

-Emma Corrin was an excellent villain. It took so long to get to Cassandra Nova, that I honestly forgot Corrin was the big bad. Corrin was very effective as the extremely formidable Cassandra. They're such a powerful character that could easily destroy Wade and Logan, but I didn't mind how they hamstrung their ability because I liked seeing Corrin onscreen.

And they talked about the thing! The elephant in the womb room!

-The cameos: I was spoiled about Cavill's appearance and Chris Evans', but Evans' was a misdirect. I assumed he would be Cap, but when he said, "Flame on!", the theater went crazy. I think I even shouted.

No disrespect to new Johnny Storm Joseph Quinn, but we had a 10 and now we're getting a literal 4.

I had already seen interviews with Aaron Stanford who reprised his role as Pyro and saw Dafne Keen promoting the film

, saw pictures of LOKI's Wunmi Mosaku at the premiere,

so I knew she would pop up in the film and since I knew it was a multiverse story, I knew the TVA was involved. Extremely and pleasantly surprised by the other X-Men universe characters and by Jennifer Garner and Wesley Snipes,

Though isn't the fact that Ryan Reynolds was in a BLADE film another ding in the timeline?

but it's Channing Tatum's Gambit that thrilled me. He willed that fcking depiction into existence! And the jokes about Remy's heavy Cajun accent just made it all the better.

One cameo that didn't happen? Reynold's co-Wrexham owner Rob McElhenney being cut.

WHAT I HATED

Why does Marvel always give things away. Invite Mosak, Keen and Stanford to the premiere, but don't let them walk the carpet (Dafne Keen has said there was talk of her walking the red carpet but telling people she was Hugh's plus one, then they made the decision to let the cat out of the bag.) Don't put them in promos. I would have have been more effective to me if it were a complete surprise. While not Marvel/Disney, it reminds me when I saw LOGAN and was shocked that Laura had adamantium  claws. After seeing the film I watched the trailer and was shocked that it's revealed in the trailer!

Same with AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR. I went to a test screening of it and when Peter introduces himself to Doctor Strange and says the line about using made up names, the line killed. I couldn't even hear what was said next because everyone was still laughing. They put that scene in the trailer. It would have been a great scene to watch unfold while watching it. So, seeing Laura/B-15 and Pyro was diminished because I knew they would be turning up, but great to have them back all the same.

THE REST

-Gone, but not forgotten. Stan Lee had two cameos - his image on the side of a bus before the Deadpool variants scene, and pops up in the behind-the-scenes clip.

-Another shout out to a creator- this time Rob Liefeld. The shoppe that Deadpool and Wolverine were thrown into during the fight was named Liefeld's.

-Great needle drops, though they butchered "Bring 'Em Out" with the Avengers, or maybe it was X-Men sting. Just let that song be great.

Matthew Macfadyen was excellent, very fun. He brought the laughs even without a ludicrously capacious bag.

[bookishtheaterlover7]

👸

We've all seen ilarias posts inckuding the one that says not Chris and the caption that has Chris listed

1st off it has been a hot second since she took credit for styling Chris. There was a fasion article that credited her a specific look, bringing Polos baxk that included Chris Evan' s , donald glover and Dwayne johnson wore and she did tag him when she posted that article but outside of that its been a while.

The post of the pic thst says "Misc. Hord (Not Chris)" was odd. But maybe its her way of saying not Chris' clothes and that she isnt doing much of his styling because lets face it a posit it saying: Misc. Hord (not Chris)There are many Chris' in Hollywood as well. Maybe Chris Pine or Pratt are going and she's styling one of those?

Was odd at that.

She did mention Chris in the post for a Vanity party but she also listed others and apprently the Vanity Party is extremly hard to get into. Unlike someone else.

Looking at her styling and her past Styling for Chris as well as those she styles similarly Dwayne and Billy, I feel like she goes diffrently for John. You can see its clear she did not dress Chris for the party he went to.

First off she never uses just a regular button down shirt unless

A) theres a jacket or sweater going over it

B) no way in hell would be look that wrinkled. She had standards her men always look pressed. She even ironed bareys underware for god sakes!

C) IF it was just a plain white shirt there would have been a stlyish element such as big buttons like Billy had worn at a diffrent even

D) She couldve gotten 3/4 sleaves. And dont all be like she wouldnt have know if he was was going tonroll his sleave -shes dtyled this man for waht i think 10 years she knows him

E) the first is way too big especially in the pecks. The stylist job is to get him clothes thst fit, like he wore to the White House. She wouldn't have given him a shirt that was too large.

F) Look at Chris pants from the pic and then look at Billy pants from his recent post as it is a similar style. Bully is qearing pants that are dress pants Chris looks like he's wearing Kaki jeans from Sears.

Now, there is nothing wrong with kahkis or jean kakis or sears but his "date" is qeaing a white sheer dress braless. And hes wearing Kakhis.... yiu can also look at Dwyanes clothes as I said theyre styled alike for evens espeically the tops he wears dress pants.

And the NUMBER 1 REASON HOW WE KNOW ILARIA DIDNT STYLE HIM FOR THE PARTY:

She didn't take credit! And credit where credit is due i may mot always agree with her style but she takes credit deservedly so when she styles.

I know some people dont like her because she did testify on danny master's behalf, if she did that but wont style chris what is that saying about the state of association with Chris....

Yes she did put chris' name down I have 2 theories she is either styling for a diffrent Chris as theres a lot in hollywood, putting a few things together for Chris because she sees how horrible he looks it was a bit of a care package after seeing how horrible he looked in the photos and dont want his bad style to be atrributed to her ainxe she is still referrd to as his stylist.

Her post about the clothes qe can guess on we need context. She couldve just found it funny because she has a hord of chris chlothes and then saw a lable of hords of clothes that aren't chris'. We dont know. We jusr know Ilaria would never let Chris out in public like that.

Drcils avocate I'm hooing the lack of ring in audi and Ilaria maybe coming back ss a signal its almost over butbweve been hoping thst for a while so imma just assume like i said in my other post theyll give us what we said we wanted chris looking alive and happy and them together and i expect names might be used but more alone the lines of of I brought Chris with me (in her low pitch american accent) or oh I have A__a with me. Like the marketing annon said for legalilty reasons they have confirmed marriage with the use of names and we need to read between the lines, personally im reading un between the spaces because nothing says love like newlyweds almost 2 arms lenfths away while one is being pulled so muxh his hand is bent as hes going down the stairs- thsts exactly what Emily Blunt and John look li-oh wait its not theyre always affectionate.

Anyway I'm still holding on to hope.

👸 you're throwing more and more shade. And I'm just here for it 😍

Another awesome one in the bag!!!

[emotionaldashtoons]

Here's my poster of my official version of my version for my DisneyElseWorld's Pixar's...

INSIDE OUT 2!

I saw the new Inside Out 2 trailer, and they made Anxiety, Ennui, Embarrassment, and Envy bad by betraying the old emotions. Lots of crazy stuff is about to happen! We don't know what's going on, lots of details are there too. But what would the ElseWorld version be like?

SO!

For my idea. I have 6 new emotions, one of my OC emotions I've created like, Courage, Surprise, Pride, Trust, Frustration, and Shy.

MAIN VILLAIN

I am using on of my oc villains, Spite, to be the main villain of the AU second movie.

OTHER CHARACTERS

Characters like Nia, the assistant of Spite, she runs the business with him but she tries to avoid him to help others. Bud, Courage's blood cell buddy, he doesn't speak but he's sweet, nervous, cute and got some attitude. And Brain, the big boss of Riley's mind, and the emotions need his help to stop Spite.

What New Places Would the Emotions Go To?

In this AU, far from HQ and Long Term Memory, instead of the back of the mind being empty, there is a huge mind-filled city called Mindtopia, aka, The City of Riley, where everything in the mind has everybody for Riley's Inner Workings in her mind. That also includes Headquarters. And guess what, they're not the only company, there's also banks, council buildings, restaurants, malls, houses, apartments, and everything for Mind Workers after they work at Long Term Memory. And The Mind Councilman, Chairman, is the Mind Prime Minister.

Returning Cast like...

Amy Poehler as Joy, Lewis Black as Anger, Bill Hader as Fear (YES! I'm bringing Bill Hader back! He's so much funnier then I expected), Mindy Kaling (Yeah yeah, I get it, Velma is garbage but her acting as Disgust wasn't) as Disgust, Phyllis Smith as Sadness,

Kensington Tallman as Riley, Diane Lane as Mrs. Andersen, and Kyle MacLachlan as Mr. Andersen.

With All-Star Cast like...

Chris Pratt (The LEGO Movie films, and Onward) as the new outside leader emotion known as Courage, Sam Richardson (Ruby Gillman: Teenage Kraken, and Veep) as Surprise, Kate McKinnon (Ferdinand, DC League Of Super Pets, and Saturday Night Live) as Frustration,

Zach Woods (The Office, & The LEGO Ninjago Movie) as Trust, Randall Park (the Ant-Man, and Aquaman films) as Pride, Tituss Burgess (Central Park, Angry Birds Movie, and Spellbound) as Shy, Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld, and A Bug's Life) as the sweet and huge, Mother Esteem, Eugene Levy (Finding Dory, and Schitt's Creek) as the mind algorithm boss of Riley Andersen's Mind/City of Riley known as Brain, Nathan Fillion (DCU's Superman, Monsters University, and Cars 3) as the very evil and hilariously charming, but whiny, Spite,

Ilana Glazer (Netflix's Green Eggs and Ham) as Spite's sarcastic female assistant, Nia, Dan Fogler (the Fantastic Beasts films, and The Walking Dead) as Mind Councilman Chairman, Ken Jeong (Transformers: Dark of The Moon, The Hangover, and Scoob!) as Yes Man, Alan Tudyk (the Moana, Frozen, Zootopia, and Wreck-it Ralph films) as Mind Gate Guard Jimmy, Peter Sohn (Ratatouille, Monsters University, and The Good Dinosaur) as the emotions new best blood cell companion named Bud, Stephen Root (Barry, King of the Hill, and Finding Nemo) as Doc Stem,

Yvette Nicole Brown (Disenchanted, and Avengers: Endgame) as Riley's middle school P.E. coach, Mrs. Roberts, Brady Noon (Good Boys, The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers, and Tales of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) as Jordan, Haley Tju (Amphibia, and Big Hero 6: The Series) as Kelli, Raymond Ochoa (The Good Dinosaur) as Riley's bully, Francis, Josh Peck (Drake & Josh, and Drillbit Taylor) as Francis' bully friend Lars, Bruce Campbell (the Evil Dead, and Spider-Man films, and Sky High) as Dale Daley, Rob Huebel (Knuckles, and Goosebumps) as Geoff James,

Bobby Moynihan (Hoppers, and IF) and Paula Poundstone (Home Movies) as The Forgetters, Paula Pell (Sisters, and Netflix's Big Mouth) as Mom's Anger, Flea (The Wild Thornberries) as Mind Cop Jake, Carlos Alazraqui (Fairly OddParents) as Dad's Anger, Dave Goelz and Frank Oz (the Muppets films and Sesame Street) as Mind Cop Frank & Mind Cop Dave, John Ratzenberger (the Toy Story and Cars films) as Fritz, Nick Jonas (the Jumanji films) as Imaginary Singer, and The Lonely Island (Akiva Schaffer, Jorma Taccone, and Andy Samberg) (Hot Rod, and Chip & Dale: Rescue Rangers) as Imaginary Cupids.

CREW

Written & Directed by Josh Cooley

Co-Directed by Bob Peterson

Produced by Mark Neilsen, p.g.a.

Executive Producers Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton, and Jonas Rivera

Story by Josh Cooley and Pete Docter

Edited by Kevin Nolting

Cinematography by Patrick Lin and Kim White and Adam Habib

Production Designer Jason Deamer

Story Supervisor Peter Sohn

Additional Dialouge by Dan Scanlon, Bill Hader, and Amy Poehler

Visual Effects Supervisor Bob Pauley

Supervising Animators Lou Romano and Jerome Ranft

Music Scored by Michael Giacchino and Andrea Datzman

Casting by Kevin Reher & Natalie Lyon

[soul-sparx]

I finally figured out why I don't vibe with the new(ish) Mario movie, beyond just Chris Pratt's incredibly lackluster performance. Despite how well it nailed the visuals and got Bowser and Luigi (my two favorite characters) perfect, it got one very important thing wrong. Mario himself.

I don't feel like Mario should be much of a character in himself, with an arc and personal issues. To me, Mario is more like Superman-- hear me out. Superman has his complexities, don't get me wrong. That's bound to happen after so many decades of stories. At his core however, Superman is very simple. He's a living representation of justice and goodness. He takes the same care helping Lois with the laundry that he does making sure this week's fight with Zod or Lex Luthor doesn't cause too much collateral damage.

Mario is much the same-- a symbol, rather than a character. He is joy, he is wonder, he is fun. I don't want to sympathize with Mario, I don't want to see him failing at his dreams or getting into arguments with his dad. I don't want Mario to be reluctantly forced on a grand adventure to stop Bowser, I want him to willingly and enthusiastically get out there and explore the world. Because what makes Mario fun as a part of a narrative is not seeing Mario himself grow and change, but seeing his effect on others. Yes, he should be allowed to get sad, or angry, or smug, but these are all temporary states. At his core, Mario should be the one who gives Luigi the courage to go on adventures, who inspires Goombario to become a young hero, even motivate Bowser to always come back stronger than ever. Mario is not a person, nor do I think he should be. He is a bottomless black hole of positivity that can't help but draw everyone around him into his orbit. He is a stand-up guy who cares just as much about unclogging pipes as he does about saving the Mushroom Kingdom, and he inspires those around him to be better by doing so.

And he has an italian accent.

[jennrypan]

The Mario movie was really good!! The animation was nice and

BOWSER WAS FUCKING GORGEOUS GOD I LOVE HIM AND SUPPORT EVERYTHING HE DID IDC, Hes my poor Little Meow Meow 😌✨

I dont support the vanilla ass Mario x Peach happening but like SUUUUURE

I dont understand why anyone would choose a hero over a big ass monster villain whos a king but maybe thats just me-

(But Bowser being in love with Peach was vindicating <3)

..Megamind changed my entire idea of relationships and now all I can think about is the villain getting the girl and once again only Megamind has given me what I wanted 😔

BUT BACK TO THE ACTUAL MOVIE-- Donkey Kong was dope, and Im obsesssed with the animation, Peach wasnt..Peaching for me, she looked..generic?? Like her eyes were too big and it was just too disney and not that pretty but cutesy instead?? Idk, but the voice acting was GOOD! (Yes even Chris Pratt did his little thing, surprisingly didnt mind it..but he wasnt like. The main part of the movie to me)

Id see it again

[tyrantisterror]

I’m kind of surprised I haven’t seen anyone complain about the voice acting for Peach in the new Mario movie.  I mean, not totally surprised - the internet likes Anna Taylor-Joy much more than Crisp Rat, and the writing of Peach (from what little we see in the trailer) is better than the character’s reputation as a one-dimensional damsel in distress.

And, like, the voice acting isn’t terrible.  It’s fine, in the way that most cartoon characters voiced by a big name actor who isn’t a voice actor tend to be fine.  You watch the trailer and think, “Yep, they got a woman who is trained in acting to read lines with a certain amount of emotion alright.”

In fact my hot take is that both Mario and Peach in the trailer, voice acting-wise, were fine.  They were serviceable.  A decent, acceptable job was done.

But, like, no more than that.

Because that’s the problem with using normal actors to do a voice actor’s job.  Most actors are trained to use their voice as a *part* of their acting, rather than the whole of it, complementing it with, you know, facial expressions and body language.  If they primarily do dramatic work, then they’re also trained to be very restrained in using their voice, because if you go too big it won’t work.

Jack Black isn’t just an actor - he’s a comedian and a singer too, and in all endeavors he trades on bringing a wild, manic energy to the table, which is perfect for a cartoon character.  Charlie Day and Seth Rogan may only be able to do one voice a piece, but they’re comedic actors, which means they’re used to being big and bawdy, and their voices bring a high intensity that fits a cartoon setting.

Outside of Parks and Rec, Chris Pratt has done more action movies than comedy stuff, and Anna Taylor-Joy is more or less a purely dramatic actor.  And it shows in their vocal performance.  They’re fine, I reiterate, totally passable, but just... restrained.  They sound like normal people.  Mario sounds like a guy.  Peach sounds like some lady.

Which is weird and a little disappointing, because these two characters have been around for decades and established themselves as more than just A Guy and Some Lady.  Both Mario and Peach have really distinct voices in most media, voices oozing with personality.  Yes, even Peach, who has the reputation of being one-dimensional, is performed with a great deal of character in the games.  And while Anna Taylor-Joy is doing, I repeat, a fine job, she’s doing a job of being Some Lady, instead of a Princess of a kingdom of talking mushrooms whose given name is Peach.  And it feels weird to me that no one’s mentioned how mildly disappointing that is.

[anonymous-dentist]

Maybe a too random question, but did you watched many movies last year? and based on that...do you think it was a good year for films?

Okay so let’s answer this based off of the movies I saw in theaters last year:

M3GAN- solid 9/10, amazing cheesy horror when a pretty good message, could’ve used more kills tbh but this is what we got with a pg-13 rating ig

Cocaine Bear- 7/10, pretty decent but I went in expecting more humor besides “this bear is on cocaine”, some OUTSTANDING kills though (that entire ambulance scene was perfection)

Dungeons and Dragons- 10/10, you can tell how much effort went into it and how everyone involved in the writing just knew dnd, literally the perfect movie and we need more Now

Mario Movie- 8/10, I really enjoyed it and it was literally so nostalgic and, sue me, but Chris Pratt could’ve done worse, I just think that it could’ve done more with Luigi I think

Renfield- 9/10, I almost wish that that Nicolas Hoult stayed in that old timey 1910s outfit the whole time, but the message was actually pretty good and the action? PERFECTION, and the allegory to an actual abusive relationship was not expected but definitely welcome. Minus one point for not having the MCR song used be the literal song about vampires

Across the Spiderverse- 6/10, the animation was OUTSTANDING but the story suffered from being the second movie in a trilogy. Instead of being its own thing, the entire movie kinda just felt like a long trailer for the next movie, and that lost it a LOT of points imo. Also? It just didn’t know how to end? I was actually bored by the final fifteen minutes. And that’s bad

Barbie- 7/10, objectively excellent but I just personally couldn’t get into the humor, and I wish there was more about Barbie and a bit less about Ken yk?

Blue Beetle- 10/10, okay so I normally actually hate superhero movies but this was AMAZING and it’s actually criminal how badly it bombed. Story was perfect all the characters were likable outside of the villains, and the villains including goddamn Ronald Reagan and all those shitty white guys from the 80s who purposefully destabilized nearly every country in central and South America?? The villain being a white woman??? The villain being capitalism, neo-colonialism, and gentrification?? MY GOD like THAT is how you do a superhero movie!!!

Wonka- 10/10, I legitimately went in with super low expectations and came out with a new movie to add to my favorites list. It’s a kids movie, but it’s also just a fun time okay? Story was actually pretty good, the songs were surprisingly catchy, the visuals were Really Cool. Sleeper hit imo

So, based off what I personally saw this year, it was a pretty good year!

But also? It was a good year outside of this lol. Between Barbie and Oppenheimer and Killers of the Flower Moon and Asteroid City and Trolls 3 (yes, including that), it was a really good year for movies

[cityoftheangelllls]

Soooooo the Mario movie was awesome! Definitely the best movie-going experience I've had since Spiderman No Way Home! Illumination really outdid themselves and I think that this has to be the best movie they've done, even more so than the first two Despicable Me movies and Sing! And I can tell they and Nintendo put so much effort into this and making it a giant fan to Mario fans everywhere, from the kids to those who have been there from the beginning. It wasn't perfect (I mean, what movie is, and is there really such a thing as perfection?) but it was still a lot of fun!!!!

Below is what I loved about the movie and what I felt could have been better! Just a heads-up, there ARE spoilers. Even though it has pretty much the typical storyline of most Mario games and is therefore somewhat predictable, I don't want those who haven't seen it yet to miss out on being blown away as I was about it.

*********************************************************************

The Ups:

MARIO. HE IS THE BIGGEST SWEETHEART. HE LOVES HIS BROTHER SO SO MUCH. HE WOULD FETCH A STAR FROM SPACE FOR HIS BROTHER IF HE COULD. I WOULD DIE FOR HIM AND THE LOVE HE HAS FOR HIS BABY BRO. And from the beginning, he's so determined and motivated and never gives up! And it's his brother that motivates him to do most of what he does! I also liked the little details they added to his character that we never got to see before, such as the fact that he initially hates mushrooms.

Peach was amazing! At first I thought that they girlbossed her a bit too much to the point where she was a carbon copy of Daisy, but now I see her as a kind, maternal, and feminine young woman who fights when she needs to and is just doing her job protecting her kingdom. I hate how people are bashing her characterization here, like, have they forgotten how she was in the DIC cartoons, the 1986 anime, and SUPER PRINCESS PEACH? I also like her backstory and she's so cute as a baby! Also, since I HC that she and Daisy are super close, maybe she learned a thing or two from her!

Toad was so silly and chaotic, and he stole every scene he was in!

Luigi was precious and Charlie Day was perfect for his voice, as I predicted! I can tell that he was totally channeling Tony Rosato at times. I loved so many of his moments on screen, especially when he protects his brother during the final battle!

Jack Black KILLED IT as Bowser! He made him a villain who's hilarious but intimidating and ferocious at the same time and not many people can pull that off effectively!

Donkey Kong was a bit annoying and Illumination-y but they did a good job with him here. Also HE DID THE SETH ROGEN LAUGH TWICE FACK YES

The voice cast in general was fantastic! Charlie Day, Kevin Michael Richardson, and Jack Black were literal perfection in particular, Fred Armisen as Cranky Kong was lit, and Keegan Michael Key was great for Toad, as I predicted! He's a very versatile comedian and voice actor, after all! Also, Chris Pratt's Mario has grown on me in a good way. Although I vastly prefer Charles Martinet, as well as Lou Albano (who has my favorite Mario voice ever), Chris really didn't do that bad of a job! He DID TOO put effort into voicing him, and his "Wahoo!"s and cries of delight and triumph were on point! The only voice that I still feel like I have to get used to is Anya Taylor-Joy as Peach. She's a talented actress but I don't think she entirely suited Peach's soft, feminine, and maternal nature, but that's just me.

Mario and Luigi's parents are so precious! In fact, their whole family is so cute and hilarious! They remind me of my own proudly Italian (mostly) family. And Charles Martinet voicing their dad was the icing on the cake! I'm just so glad we finally got to see their family in general.

I also like how the boys' situation of still living with their parents, (presumably) not pursuing college and working blue-collar jobs while in their 20s-30s wasn't portrayed in a negative way. It's a great way of telling audiences that it's okay if you haven't gone off on your own yet in adulthood or attended college, that life isn't a sequence of steps that everyone has to follow exactly and at the same time, and that patience, hard work, and a positive attitude will lead you to great opportunities in life when you least expect them, like with what happened to the bros.

THE BROS' REUNION HUG OH MY GOD!!!!!! THE FOREHEAD TOUCH AND MARIO LIFTING LUIGI OFF THE GROUND DURING THEIR SECOND EMBRACE, I ALMOST CHOKED ON MY ICEE AND BECAME A SOBBING MESS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE THEATER MY GOD

And then them teaming up together to defeat Bowser and his forces, AS IT SHOULD BE.

I mean seriously this movie was a slap to the face of everyone who thought Mario hates his brother

Mario and Luigi getting their own little house in the Mushroom Kingdom! AND COFFEE CUPS THAT MATCH THEIR HATS!!!!

Mario and Peach's relationship thus far! I love how close they are by the end of the movie, even though they haven't developed a romance yet, and how Mario was telling her all about Brooklyn and how he'll get her a pet turtle once he gets to take her there. D'awwwwwww.

Peach completing the trainer course ALL WHILE WEARING A FULL LENGTH BALL GOWN AND HEELS. AND her admitting that she didn't master doing it until she had tried multiple, multiple times was such a great addition to character, proof that while she may be more of a girlboss here she still has more character development than Rey in the Star Wars sequels.

Peach telling Luigi that he's brave was so sweet :3 Even though they didn't really have a proper meeting scene like I hoped, I'm glad they got to at least interact a little.

Although I wish they would have used the wedding dress from Odyssey or even Paper Mario, Peach's wedding dress here is so pretty!

Donkey Kong becoming an ally of Mario and them helping each other get to the Mushroom Kingdom was super nice, although I do feel their friendship could have been built on a little more and that DK should have apologized to Mario for insulting his brother.

THE MUSIC!!!!! Brian Tyler NAILED the orchestrations of all those iconic themes! I especially got so happy when I heard the SNES Rainbow Road theme, the DK rap, and Toad's House from SMB3! I can only imagine how Koji Kondo, the man who composed so many of these melodies for chiptune almost 40 years ago and is STILL composing music for the games, is feeling now that they have these epic, sweeping orchestral renditions.

They outdid themselves with the animation and visuals as well! ESPECIALLY the visuals. They're so colorful and whimsical and just scenery p0rn all around, from the Mushroom Kingdom giving off major Alice in Wonderland vibes and Bowser's incredible floating lava castle to the Jungle Kingdom and the rainbow road! And I can't think of a single character (re)design that I didn't like! They all look so good!

The slo mo bits were SO funny. Especially "MMMMMAAAAAAAAMMMAAAAA MMMMIIIIIIIAAAAAA!" and "PPPPPRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNCCCCEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

Bringing back such an obscure and relatively forgotten character as Foreman Spike was awesome!

Every time that Diddy Kong was onscreen was so funny!

ALL THE EASTER EGGS, GOOD GOLLY. From the references to the SUPER SHOW OF ALL THINGS to the guy who's supposed to resemble Jumpman (Mario's first incarnation) at the beginning!

That one bit where Mario is sitting in his room playing a video game also felt really reminiscent of the beginning of The Great Mission to Rescue Princess Peach (1986). If Nintendo was going for that I'm so glad they acknowledged such an obscure piece of Mario media!

The Downs:

Goddammit, you SERIOUSLY had to include minions in the Illumination logo.

It honestly felt a bit rushed in places and I wish more scenes could have had more time devoted to them. Some characters, ESPECIALLY Luigi, didn't really get as much screen time as I felt they needed, and that kind of sucked.

I was really hoping for Bowser to have a hard rock-style villain song, as that really suits his aesthetic and Jack Black could totally have done it! I mean he was in School of Rock for crying out loud and he's proven afterwards that he can really belt out classic rock tunes! Despite that, I'm glad he got to at least sing in the movie, and his song dedicated to Peach was hilarious.

I'm bummed that the movie wasn't really a musical as I had heard around the net so many times; only two characters sang (Bowser and Toad, even though the latter's wasn't really an actual song) and there were a bunch of pop/rock hits from the past few decades sandwiched in. They were still good songs that I like though, such as Thunderstruck, Take on Me, and Holding Out for a Hero (although I wish it could have been the original Bonnie Tyler version). I was ESPECIALLY pumped to hear Mr. Blue Sky!! But still, a lack of songs sung by characters bummed me out.

I don't like how some lines were changed (such as Bowser's "NOW WHO'S GONNA STOP ME?!?!") or cut entirely (e.g. Mario's "I'm not afraid! I'll do anything for my brother!") I'm especially bitter about the latter, since hearing that line in the final trailer made me super emotional and cutting it meant less devotion to how much Mario loves and misses his brother.

It was kind of a wasted opportunity to not see Mario and Luigi's family (and the rest of Brooklyn for that matter) bewildered over their sons bringing back a princess in a wedding gown, a little mushroom man, and an ape wearing a necktie. I bet their dad would have been wondering what someone put in his coffee, and their mom would have taken one look at Peach and been all like, "OMG IS ONE OF MY SONS GETTING MARRIED ALREADY??" It just would have been nice for them to interact a little.

The blue star/Luma was honestly so annoying and gave me an unsettling identity crisis, I just thought that was not fitting for a family friendly movie. Also, why was he/she in Bowser's dungeon in the first place?

As Donkey Kong should have apologized to Mario for fighting with him, Spike should have apologized to Mario and Luigi for doubting them. It didn't really make sense for him to just abruptly cheering for them.

Part of me kind of wishes it had taken place in the 1980s. It kind of makes sense, given that the Mario and Luigi characters formally debuted in 1983 and this is an origin story for how they came to be.

But despite all this, there were way more ups than downs, and the "downs" are just little nitpicks from me that don't take away from the movie being one hell of a ride. It was fantastic, and definitely one of the best animated movies I've seen in a while. 9/10 from me!!.

Some of my several VERY high hopes for the sequel:

YOSHI CUTENESS!!!

Also, if I have to predict a voice actor for Yoshi, it would have to be either Frank Welker or Kazumi Totaka reprising his role.

Luigi getting more screen time and also getting to share in his bro's adventures! Dude deserves way better!

Mario having second thoughts about Luigi accompanying him in dangerous situations because he's terrified of losing him again, and Luigi reminding him that "nothing will harm them as long as they're together"

PLEASE just more brotherly love!

Mario and Peach developing a romance and vowing to protect each other!

At least one callback to the "Mama Luigi" episode of the Super Mario World cartoon series. I mean, it would only seem right now that Yoshi is joining the gang, right?

Heck, I bet it's going to be chock full of references to the Super Mario World game, the Yoshi's Island games, and the Super Mario World cartoon.

DAISY AND/OR ROSALINA PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Bowser's backstory (and possibly redemption)! It's clear to me that he's just a big softie that needs love and friendship in his life. And, since he's really their friend who likes to engage in role play just for fun according to word of mouth, I wonder how they will incorporate that into the Mario Cinematic Universe.

Some evidence that Mario and Luigi alternating between their lives in Brooklyn (probably just so that they can spend time with their family) and the Mushroom Kingdom

"I HOPE SHE MADE LOTSA SPAGHETTI!"