#and yells I FUCKING AM MAGIC YOU CLOTPOLE

[nextstopparis]

me explaining how everything would’ve been different after bbc merlin episode 2.08 the sins of the father if morgause had juST USED THAT DAMNED CRYSTAL SOONER and seen arthur actually fighting uther and being lied to and manipulated back into thinking uther was right because tHEN SHE COULDVE SOUGHT HIM OUT BUT ALONE THIS TIME AND DEFENDED HERSELF AND GOTTEN ARTHUR ON HER SIDE and then when she reached out to morgana the three of them would’ve teamed up and brought uther to his knees

[kalee60]

@larkboyd Larissa! I'm sorry you're having a really crappy, awful day! I get you, I honestly do, the last few weeks have been really... Well... trying is probably a polite way of putting it.

So therefore in response to your cry for a distraction and a little care and love - I present you with this little one-shot - I quickly threw it together in the last hour so apologies for any mistakes.

I hope your day gets better and that when you get home tonight you can relax, put your feet up and remember that even though we are all on opposite sides of the world @darter-blue @iamsherlockedondoctorwho and me (plus so many more) are always there for you 😘

Enjoy this Merthur fic made just for you!

*~*~*~*~*~*

Merlin sighed heavily as he hung his coat over the back of his chair, seeing that he was the only one in the lab's office once again. Frustration didn't even begin to cover it, especially when his phone started to ring almost immediately. 

Eyeing the most hated piece of technology on his desk critically, Merlin tried to work out telepathically if he could figure out who was calling.

A rap on the partition window between his office and the next made him jump. Gaius was staring directly at him, giving him the Eyebrow of Contempt, a phone to his ear and pointing towards Merlin's, which hadn't ceased it's relentless mating call.

"Welcome to Camelot Labs, this is -"

"- Merlin you fool, it's me."

Merlin looked up to see Gaius run a hand over his face tightly, oh right. Maybe he shouldn't have gone out the evening before.

"Were you at the tavern again last night, are you still drunk?"

Looking heavenward, Merlin finally sat down, booting his computer up and wedging the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"It's called a pub, Gaius, and what do you need, I'm extremely busy." He proceeded to place each of his three coloured pens (blue, black and red) neatly next to his blank notepad, adjusted his takeaway coffee so the pattern on the cup faced him, then picked up the red pen and wrote his name with a flourish on top of the page. The heart over the I, probably the best one he'd ever drawn.

"You're on your own today."

"What?" Merlin yelled, dropping the phone to glare at his boss who just shrugged in return, the Eyebrow suddenly looking a little more friendly in the presence of Merlin's plight. He picked up the god awful device to exclaim hotly, "You can't do that to me! I can't hold the fort down by myself, take all these calls, I'm not a wizard that can magically conjure a second Merlin."

Gaius did not look impressed at his sarcasm, Merlin grumbled some more and took a long pull off his coffee. It ceased to satisfy.

"I'm trying to get one of the boys from marketing down here to help."

"Oh no, no you don't. This is why you're calling me through the window? Isn't it? You're too scared to stand before me and tell me - I'm telling you, you can't send me one of those lunk-heads, those clotpoles who wouldn't know their arse from their -"

"- their what Merlin?"

"Gaius no!" But Merlin was speaking to nothing, Gaius had hung up and was suddenly nowhere to be seen. Gritting his teeth, Merlin spun around to watch Arthur fucking Pendragon walk over and put his bag down at the desk… the desk right. Next. To. Merlin.

He wasn't having it. Arthur was the biggest douche to walk the hallways of Camelot, always pushing Merlin's buttons in meetings, and generally acting like a Prince holding court. It didn't help that his father Uther ran the company.

"And what brings you down to the bowels of the Camelot Labs?" Merlin snarked, then opened up his emails only to see a hundred new ones. Oh god, his day was over and it hasn't even begun.

"Gaius said you needed help, so here I am. I can go if you like."

Merlin gave Arthur the side eye, "can you read reporting figures to let departments know their results?"

Arthur nodded and sat his coffee cup down, seeing that it was from the same place Merlin bought his. Huh, maybe his taste wasn't that awful.

"Can you use the online filing system for collections and batch records?"

The nod came again, while Merlin watched Arthur place two pens either side of his notepad. Rookie. He wouldn't be lending his red pen out, even if Arthur begged. And that was not an image Merlin needed to see in his mind. Arthur on his knees, walking towards him… begging and naked.

"Fuck," Merlin exclaimed, noting how Arthur raised a brow sardonically at him. "Can you use a phone?"

"Can I use a… really? Look, just tell me what you need me to do and I'll do it. And don't be a dick about it."

Scowling, Merlin quickly showed Arthur the phone, the programs and what he needed done. He ignored the crisp, woodsy scent that clung to Arthur's skin as he leant over him, and he most definitely ignored when Arthur's arm brushed against his then left it pressed there, for almost a minute. Not that Merlin was counting.

Yes, Arthur was helping, and it was much better than being there alone, but Merlin, although very vocally did not like Arthur, had always found him unfairly attractive. And that set him on edge, made him feel itchy under his skin, knowing that Arthur, who was basically royalty on the London scene wouldn't even look twice at someone like him. So it was much easier to be an arse.

Four hours into their forced working conditions, Merlin had to admit that Arthur was actually more of a help than a hindrance. And it grated his nerves.

"Maybe next time, you should write the batch into the system before you give out the results."

Arthur's brows were in his hairline as he turned to face Merlin, and he felt a flush rise up his cheeks, it honestly didn't matter the order you did it in, but he had to say something.

"You really don't like me do you?"

The retort died on his tongue when he realised Arthur was serious.

"Err, well, it's not exactly that, I actually think you're -" his phone rang, thankfully halting anything else he might blurt out unintended. 

A few minutes later he was off the phone and typing again, lost in calculations and figures when he heard the chair next to him roll over the floor, and it didn't stop.

Startled he looked up into bright blue eyes, eyes that were only a few inches away.

"You were saying?"

Merlin's cheeks filled once more and he couldn't help the small gulp, audible in the quiet lab. Oh god.

"I was saying that I think you're a complete arse, " Arthur's eyes narrowed at his words, "but if you had a red pen, and stopped taking mine, I'd actually admit you've been a huge help today."

Arthur's face transformed into a grin and Merlin couldn't help mirror it, having never been on the receiving end of it before, or had he, and he'd just blocked it out? But Arthur was still too close, within touching distance and as if realising it for the first time as well, Arthur ducked his head, before looking up again.

"Can I buy you a drink after work, Merlin?"

Startled, Merlin floundered for a moment, uncertain what was happening and why Arthur Pendragon was asking a lab tech out.

"With you?"

Arthur's laugh was deep and fond, another anomaly, "yes with me. I thought you were smart?"

"I am, thank you very much, ask anyone and they'll tell you that I can -"

"- no Merlin, I meant I've been flirting with you for months and you've completely missed it, haven't you?"

Merlin's mouth was agape, he knew it, Arthur knew it, and he snapped it shut. Arthur thought he was...? He wanted to go for drinks and...?

"I'm taking that as a yes on both counts."

"My god you're arrogant..." Merlin started but faltered when Arthur grinned broadly at him.

And feeling off balance wasn't something Merlin relished and as Arthur started to wheel his way back to his desk, he reached out, fingers tangling in the collar of Arthur's shirt and yanked him back. The wheels squealing on the floor.

Falling forward he pressed his lips against Arthur's, feeling the shock run through the other man's body, and Merlin smirked until Arthur's hand came up to cup his cheek, thumb running over the skin softly, reverently then pushed forward into the kiss. Oh. He'd not expected the feel of tongue against his, the slip of their lips as they deepened the kiss, nor hear the small unbidden moan falling from Merlin's throat.

It was the sweetest and most perfect first kiss he'd ever received.

"Well that shut you up for a minute." 

Well it was until Arthur spoke. "One drink, that's all you get Pendragon."

And with a conceited smirk that hit Merlin directly in the guts, and a push of his chair, Arthur put his headset back on and looked Merlin directly in the eye.

"Perfect, I like my coffee black in the morning, preferably before I get out of bed."

And Merlin could do nothing but snort and shake his head fondly as he answered his phone, greeting the person on the other end brightly, holding Arthur's blue sparkling eyes in his gaze. Maybe it wasn't going to be such a terrible day after all.

[arthur-the-cute]

Favorite Merthur Headcanons?

Favorite? Oh, I am so so so so bad at picking favorites in anything. Here are some that I like though (read: I just made up):

You know that blue cape Merlin gave Arthur? Yeah, it is Arthur’s absolute favorite piece of clothing. There is a silent rule that nobody is allowed to point out that the king of Camelot has been wearing the same damn blue cape for years now and its not even in fashion anymore. Merlin thinks it is adorable and uses his magic to keep it in the exact condition it was in when he gave it to Arthur.

Arthur is actually really fucking impressed with that fiery dragon spell Merlin does. Sometimes, when they���re lying in bed at night and Arthur is feeling sentimental, clingy, in need of general reaffirmation of their relationship, or just plain soppy, he loud whispers to Merlin asking him to do the spell. Merlin doesn’t have to ask which one he means.

Gwen straight up slapped Arthur one time because of how much of an idiot he is with Merlin’s birthday. At first, Arthur always missed Merlin’s birthday and even though Merlin never made a fuss, Arthur got in lots of trouble from Gwen because she knew what it would mean to Merlin for Arthur to do something for him for his birthday. Then, after two years of being yelled at (and one goblet of mead in his face), Arthur started remembering. But then he got too into it. Like a challenge. It didn’t help that Gwaine joined in and started making elaborate birthday plans for Merlin to show his bff how much he cares. Arthur kept outdoing himself, but at the cost of Gwen and everyone around his sanity. Well, except Merlin, who was Not Allowed To Know (he always knew). It got so bad that Arthur started getting paperwork ready to declare Merlin’s birthday a national holiday. He even wanted to start talks with neighboring kingdoms to make it a holiday throughout the 5 kingdoms. Merlin’s Day. Gwen put a stop to it when Arthur started talking about building statues.

Merlin made up a reason that he couldn’t use magic to open jars because he knows Arthur feels useful and ‘manly’ when he opens them for Merlin. This worked until Merlin was really busy one day and just wante some damn jam on his bread and he thought Arthur wasn’t around so one flash of his eyes and the jar lid popped open. Little did he know Arthur had purposefully tightened the lid so he could pop out of nowhere and be Merlin’s jam hero and use the opportunity to flex because he is like 100% sure his arms got bigger and he is also 100% a show off for Merlin. Needless to say he did not take kindly to the deceit. Merlin had to cancel his tavern plans with Gwaine that night as it took so long to convince Arthur out of his sulk. Don’t worry. Arthur got to flex in various other positions. Some of them even involved jam.

Merlin has an Arthur Radar. It is not what you think. He just gets very suspicious around the same time Arthur gets ideas to go do dumb and dangerous things in the name of honor and general arthur-clotpolness. 

Arthur low key really likes picking Merlin up. Merlin indulges this because it usually ends with Arthur throwing him over his shoulder and Merlin gets to pinch his royal prat’s bottom.

Gwaine is not invited to Merlin’s training sessions anymore because the last time Merlin got annoyed with Arthur consistently beating him with a sword so he used his magic (which was not allowed as the whole point of this was to teach merlin to use a sword well, even though he can just use magic all the time, but melrin just went with it because a training arthur is usually a happy one and also is a lovely sight to see) and when Arthur was sent flying, face first, into mud, Gwaine laughed and patted Merlin on the back. Merlin managed to convince Arthur not to charge one of his best knights with treason, but just barely. Arthur is looking into getting ‘laughing at the king falling in mud’ be put into law as high treason.

Merlin takes all the damn covers.

Arthur and Merlin are really pda heavy when drunk together. Like Gwen had to separate them before they started dry humping on the damn throne during one Yule celebration. Arthur made it very clear the next day that anyone who brings that up will end up in the stocks. Gwaine has been in the stocks like 7 times. Percival got in it once because he was overheard telling Gwaine not to mention it, but ended up mentioning it just as Arthur walked in to start training for the morning. Arthur doesn’t even bother ordering Merlin to the stocks for it because he’d never get out of them otherwise, and he prefers him in their bed instead of the stocks. Gwaine calls this favoritism. Merlin calls it compensation for having to deal with Arthur’s snoring.

Arthur talks in his sleep and one time Merlin got him to admit it was him who ate the pastries Merlin’s mother baked a few days ago before she went back to Ealdor. Arthur admitted to nothing in the morning.

Merlin uses Arthur as a blanket of sorts sometimes when on hunts/camping. Arthur thinks its Merlin wanting cuddles and some kisses but really its just he is really fucking cold and its much more pleasurable to have an Arthur blanket than use a simple spell.