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sierraraeck · 4 years ago

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The Jailbird and the Mouse

Spencer x Fem!OC (Aundreya)

Masterlist

Summary: When Aundreya shows up to consult on a case, Spencer seems less than pleased to see her, but his actions tell a different story. Bonus chapter!

Category: Smut. Hate fuck. Apparently I’m incapable of writing a single thing without some angst, so we’ve got a sprinkle of that in there at the end, too.

Warnings: Cussing. Choking. Nicknames. Degradation. Cuffs are used. Unprotected penetration, female masturbating, oral (male receiving), fingering. Semi-public at the beginning.

Word Count: 8.5k

A/N: Okay so this is supposed to take place during How to Lose Friends when they are both in their fresh, post-prison forms and are beyond pissed at each other, but you don't have to have read that chapter or the series to understand this. Also, shoutout to @writing-in-april for looking this piece over and helping me make some edits!

Things to Know: All you really have to know is that Aundreya was a criminal who’d already been to and broken out of prison, joined the BAU, Spencer and her had a previous relationship, Aundreya got Spencer sent to prison, broke him out, then took the fall for something Spencer was being accused of that she didn’t do, getting herself sent to prison again.

I’d been called back to help the BAU solve a case. Fascinating how when it was convenient for them, I held some value. But, after that I was just easy to throw in a jail cell to be forgotten about.

I didn’t want to be there, but unfortunately I didn’t have a choice. So, I closed my eyes, and took a long, deep breath before forcing the door open. I had barely entered the room, barely had made eye contact with Hotch standing opposite me, before both my shoulder blades were shoved against the wall behind me, with long fingers wrapping around my throat.

“What is she doing here?” the hiss in Reid’s voice sounded exactly how I’d imagined it in my head preparing for this encounter. He looked almost as bad as me. His curls were going in a million directions, and I could only imagine the amount of times he’d run his hands through them, probably due to stress. His eyes were blood-shot, slightly puffy, and the dark bags underneath seemed more defined. The only thing that contrasted all of that, and let me know his head was still in it, was the darkness he now held in his eyes. There was nothing lighthearted or soft about them anymore, at least, not for the moment and certainly not for me. Plus, there was a red-hot rage I could see boiling at the surface. It was like looking in a funhouse mirror, a warped version of myself being reflected back to me. I’d seen the same fury and darkness in my eyes every morning that was in his now, and the irritation that radiated off him matched my own. Really, the only difference between Spencer and I, was he still had his gun and badge and I didn’t.

“I was invited to help consult,” I snapped through my somewhat restricted breath. “So you better get the fuck off me.”

He gave my throat one last tight squeeze before stepping back, his intense gaze never leaving me. I met his gaze with a wicked smile while brushing my fingers over where the ghost of his hand used to be. I wanted him to see that he didn’t affect me. Angry or not, he held no power in our dynamic anymore.

“Chambers, good to see you,” Derek mocked, giving me a side eye laced with suspicion.

“Can’t say I feel the same,” I deadpanned, then turning on Hotch. “So, why am I here?”

“We have reason to believe that a rogue gang member is kidnapping and killing ex-military if they refuse to join,” Hotch explained with seemingly no emotion, as if he was unaffected by my presence.

“Cool,” I deadpanned again before asking, “So why do you need me?”

“We wanted to know if you know anything or have heard anything-” Derek started.

“Heard anything?” I cut him off with a scoff, “You mean besides the constant clanging of metal bars when I’m not left in complete silence by myself? No, I haven’t heard anything.”

“Can you find them?” Spencer asked as if it would be a difficult task for me.

“So you do want my help,” I clarified.

“I want your skills.”

I let out a disgusted chuckle in response to his quip. Venom dripped from my words as I voiced my thoughts from only moments before stepping into the room. “Oh, I get it. You only want me around when it's convenient for you. Otherwise you just wanna give up on me and let me rot in a cell.”

“What was I supposed to do!”

“What were you supposed to do?” I asked in disbelief, eyes wide. “What were you supposed to do?” I mumbled to myself again in a mocking tone, rolling my eyes. I put my hands on the back of the empty chair in front of me I assumed had held Spencer at one point, and leaned in toward him. He’d retreated behind the table since releasing me, and I quietly snarled towards him, “I don’t know, but sitting there on your tiny, plushy ass, wasn’t it. I’m leaving.”

Spencer was back over to me in a flash, slamming his hand on the door before I could even reach for the handle. Someone got better reflexes. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

“We have a suspect list that we want you to review.” Hotch caught me before I pushed Spencer out of my way.

“Fine. Make it quick.” I looked over the list Hotch gave me that contained about 30 men, none of which rang any bells. “This was a waste of time.”

“Hold on, guys,” Garcia trotted in, “I just found something.” She was in such a rush that she initially didn’t see me, bee-lining it straight for Hotch. Handing the iPad over to him, her eyes lifted to take in the rest of the room. That’s when she noticed me. Her eyes grew to the size of beach balls, and her perfectly done lips hung open. I tried not to feel too hurt, knowing that my presence would come as a shock to her, but it still stung seeing her at a loss for words, possibly even scared. She’d really been the only person who still had any hope left for me, and I was starting to wonder if that was true anymore.

My voice softened as I greeted, “Hey, Penelope.”

She struggled for words, a few ‘uhs’ and ‘ums’ headed my direction, ultimately being saved by Hotch. “Dave, you’re with me. Prentiss, Morgan, I want you to go to the ME, Garcia we’ll need you on call, and JJ, Lewis, I want you to go talk to this man.”

“What about me?” Spencer asked.

“You’re going to stay here and watch her,” Hotch commanded. I started laughing at Spencer’s visible discomfort. Spencer glared at me before opening his mouth to argue, but Hotch stopped him with a voice filled with authority, “I know you won’t be able to focus out there if you know she’s still here unattended. Let’s go.”

When everyone had left and the door shut behind them, I sang, “Well if it isn’t Doctor Reid drawing the short end of the stick, yet again.”

“Just sit down and shut up,” he tried to order with confidence as he took his own advice, sitting as far away from me as possible. Not once had he looked me in the eyes since I’d initially walked in and he had attacked me. Sure, his eyes were on me, but they never connected with mine.

“Is that a demand, doctor?” I challenged him.

“No, but it could be. I just don’t want to be the one responsible for letting you get away.” He shrugged in his chair, resting the ankle of his leg on the knee of the other.

“So you’re just gonna trust me to do what you ask?” I questioned. Throughout the entire time I’d known Spencer, he’d never gotten super riled up over something, but this was a whole different Spencer, one that I didn’t recognize or know . He was more on edge, confident, and clearly willing to wrap his hand around my throat with no hesitation. A type of Spencer I was more than happy to get to know. And let’s face it, I’d been in prison for 15 months. There wasn’t a ton of action going on in there that I wanted to get involved with. I just wanted to see how far I could push him before he snapped. “You don’t trust me, and you know you can’t. I put you in prison, just because I could,” I shrugged, contradicting what I’d insinuated earlier for my own entertainment, “and you think that I won’t just walk away from you when given the chance?”

“You’ve had the chance. For the past three minutes and forty-six seconds you could have left and you didn’t. What’s keeping you here?” he smugly fired back. Oh yeah, he’s definitely going to be fun to mess with.

“What’s keeping you here?” I copied, “Why’d Hotch bench you again? Because you can’t focus when I’m around?”

“No one can focus with you around!” he huffed hotly.

“Not well, but they certainly can do better than what you’re doing right now,” I patronized, “What is it about me that makes you all so nervous, huh? I’m just another criminal who happens to be a former co-worker. I thought you were used to working with those day in and day out.”

“Criminals or co-workers?”

“Either.”

“None of them are like you,” he bit.

“Oh I know,” I ran my tongue over my lips, “So I’ll ask again, what is it about me that makes me so different?”

He looked up at me. In contrast to the first time he locked eyes with me, his expression was stone cold. “You were a part of this team, and you betrayed us. You betrayed me. I don’t know how I could’ve been so stupid to believe you were actually helping us! I just want to know why you picked me. You were going to take one of us down, why’d you choose me?” I could see the gears spinning in his head, and was about to answer when he frustratedly added, “Was it because you thought I’m the weakest?”

That’s it. That’s what’s always made him tick. And he used the present tense. We were still an entire table length apart, so I started slowly sauntering toward him. I prodded, “Is that what you think? You believe you’re the weakest on the team? Or do you just think that’s what I thought?”

“We all have our roles,” he responded, but not nearly as confident as he had been before.

“That’s not an answer,” I pushed.

“You still haven’t answered me, either,” he growled, and I decided to let this one go. We didn’t need to fully delve into his insecurities, no matter how much I wanted to.

“It was similar to that. You were the most afraid of me, I could smell it in the air.” I closed my eyes and pretended to revel in the stench of fear. “But, I could’ve gotten any one of them if I wanted.”

Spencer scoffed at that, “I think you overestimate your abilities.”

“I don’t,” I quickly fired back, “I could’ve gotten any of them, and to be honest, I was going to go after Derek, or maybe Emily, but then you spoke up from the corner of the room and I knew it had to be you.”

“Why?”

“Why this, Aundreya, and why that, Aundreya? Is that the only question you can ask?”

“Is it the only question you can’t answer?”

I was about halfway to him now, and decided to give him a little false hope. “I picked you, not because of your intellect, or how the rest of the team coddles you, or how relationship starved you are. I picked you because I could see something in your eyes that was different, something dark. And once I heard your full back story, I realized just how similar the two of us are.”

“We are nothing alike,” he insisted.

“Really? Because had you made one different choice or one thing went just a little bit wrong, you could have ended up just like me, with no family and no one to give a shit about you or what you do, except for the cops who just wanted you locked up and controlled.” I was dangerously close to him now, his head tilted to look at me, but he didn’t cower away. He actually seemed to welcome it. Which reminded me of something, “After knowing all of that, my past and everything I was, you still agreed to let me on your team.”

“I was the last person to say yes to you joining,” he informed me. This was news to me, but I couldn’t even be sure if he was telling me the truth. “I didn’t think it was a good idea for you to be working with us, but I was outnumbered and outranked.”

“No, you caved to their wishes,” I twisted his words to suit my needs, “Like you caved to mine.” I slowly reached down to place a hand on his chest. He eyed it all the way until I made contact with him, and it was like flipping a switch. He grabbed my wrist and held it close as he pushed out of his chair, the wheels spinning it wildly back into the monitor. He reached for my other wrist, which I let him grab, and held me against the wall, arms pinned next to my head. I did everything I could to not smirk. And he’s still caving.

“I didn’t want you here. I resisted the idea of you being around us,” he spat.

“Like you’re resisting the idea of being around me right now?” I arched an eyebrow, scanning him from head to toe, and I couldn’t help but let my gaze linger on a few spots. He opened his mouth to say something, but he shut it again, locking his jaw. I could see his genius mind at work, trying to come up with some way out of the little mouse trap I’d set up for him. I watched his eyes trail down to my lips and neck, soaking it all in. When his eyes met mine again, I tried to reach for him, but he forcefully slammed my hands back, pinning me to the wall again. Though, I wanted him to touch me this time. He was taking too long to make a move for my liking, so I decided if I couldn’t use my arms, I might as well use my legs.

All of his weight was already leaning toward me, so it wasn’t difficult to wrap my right leg around his waist and bring him all the way to me. The moment that they were within inches of my face, I attacked his lips. I was almost disappointed by the fact that he didn’t seem surprised at all, as if he knew how impatient I was and knew that I would force the first move. But, I wasn’t disappointed for long.

Spencer’s whole body was pressed against mine as he quickly swiped his tongue across my bottom lip, looking for entrance. I granted it, but I wasn’t going to give him the complete dominance that he wanted over the kiss. Instead, our tongues slid over each other’s searching for more than the other was willing to give. It was hot and messy, and he released his grip on my wrists, moving them to apply the same amount of force to my jaw. With my hands free, I made quick work of the buttons on his dress shirt, ripping it open. I was expecting skin and sighed when I found yet another shirt. This man and his layers.

Spencer took advantage of me sighing, giving him more access to my mouth, which I wanted to be annoyed about, but couldn’t care to be. I decided to make better use of my hands, running them down the sides of his body as he wrapped his behind my back. He pulled away from me so abruptly when I tried to massage him through his slacks, he basically dropped me on the floor. It was like being left out in a cold winter storm, just barely out of arm's reach of warmth.

Spencer shook his head, eyes on the floor, as if that would clear his mind of what clouded it, which was me. But I wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. “There. You got what you wanted.”

I gaped at him before retorting, “We both know it wasn’t just me who got what I wanted. I’m sure you had a hard time pulling away.”

He glared at me as he rolled the chair back toward the desk and took a seat, “Not really. I have important work to do.”

I stood there staring at him trying to compose himself. His face was red and he tugged at his pants before crossing his leg over the other. I pressed my lips together, but still failed to contain the small laugh that escaped through my nose.

“Sure,” I mocked, “Especially since everyone else on the team is already doing that work for you.” He didn’t look up from whatever papers were on the table, trying in vain to ignore me, though I wasn’t ready to have his attention off me yet.

I shut the folder that he was in the middle of reading, not like he was actually reading it considering how long it was taking him to flip the page, and sat right on top of it. He was about to reach for it again, but retracted his hand at lightning speed when my legs got in the way. I flashed another mockingly sweet smile his way, but he looked out toward the window, right next to the wall I’d just come from. I swung my legs back and forth off the side of the table just a bit, careful not to completely kick Spencer in the shin, though I couldn’t help but let my toes accidentally tap him a few times. As with all of the other times I’d touched him, he moved out of the way, uncrossing his legs with a perfect foot-sized gap in between his knees. I rested my foot in that small gap on the chair, rolling his body closer to me. Then, for no other reason than wanting to feel him squirm underneath me, I plopped down on his lap, my legs straddling his. I pretty much had him locked in his seat.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, a look of complete indifference gracing his face, but I knew it was just a front.

“Just making sure you’re doing your job,” I replied, winking at him.

“And… how do you think this is helping me do my job?”

“I’m making sure you’re paying attention to me,” I whispered in his ear seductively, lacing my fingers together on the back of his neck, “Plus, I’m doing what you asked me to. How did you put it? Sit down and shut-”

Using his thumb and forefinger, he pinched my cheeks and brought my lips to his forcefully. The kiss was just as hungry as the last, teeth clashing and tongues furiously fighting. He moved his long fingers onto my hips with a bruising grip, which I had absentmindedly started grinding against his. He pulled away from me for a moment, and his harsh tone reminded me that this was nothing like the last time we’d been together, when we’d both been a bit more innocent. “You never did have any manners at work.”

I smirked, “I know. Imagine my manners at home.”

A low, almost inaudible groan came from Spencer’s throat at my suggestion, but he tried to cover it up by moving my hair out of the way and latching his lips onto the side of my neck. I gasped at the contact of his teeth pulling at my soft flesh, paired with the feeling of his growing bulge pressed against my core. His fingers gripped my hips harder and moved them faster, drawing a small whimper from my lips. I felt him smile as he trailed kisses down my neck to my collar bone, leaving a single bite mark there. I tried so hard to contain my high-pitched moan when he moved one of his hands from my waist to pinch one of my nipples through my shirt.

But I was supposed to be the clear-headed one, so I forced myself to not get too wrapped up in the feeling. If I wanted to get to my end goal, I was going to have to leave him wanting more, which unfortunately in turn meant leaving myself in the same condition.

My hips had gotten faster along with Spencer’s hands, but when I felt him start to buck his hips up against me, I knew that he was getting close and it had to end. Immediately, I stopped my movements and untangled myself from him, but not before dragging a finger up the column of his throat, sneering, “Too bad. I could’ve helped you, had you done anything to help me.”

I left that open for interpretation, either as a jab to his masculinity or to what started my rage in the first place: being left in prison. He didn’t ask for clarification either, clearly too bothered by being left on edge. He did, however, follow up with, “Help you? Why would I want to do that? You’re a terrible person.”

I grinned as if receiving a medal of honor, “That I am, Doctor.”

I moved the lay down on the couch while Spencer attempted to refocus on his work. I made a show of sighing a couple times and rolling around ‘to find a comfortable position’ on the couch, just to piss him off. I could tell it was working based on his clenched fists turning white, and the way his leg was jumping. He was resting his head in his hand, which almost perfectly shielded my face from his.

He still wasn’t turning the page, so I offered, “Can you flip the page by yourself, or do you need some help?”

He wasn’t given the opportunity to respond, because Hotch, followed by most of the team, came barreling through the door.

“Colby Ulton, 43 years old, has a long record and wasn’t home,” JJ announced, following Hotch. It’d been a while since I had to deal with their inhuman pace when it came to talking about unsubs and profiles, so most of the stuff they said next flew over my head.

I was way behind in the conversation, but none of that mattered when Hotch turned to me, “Colby Ulton. I want you on him.” He'd barely gotten the command out before I was reaching for the door handle.

“I don’t.” The words were hot and dry and coming from none other than Doctor Reid. I rolled my eyes. He moved to step in front of the door, blocking my passage out again, leaning casually with his back against it, arms crossed. Our faces were barely centimeters apart.

“Why not?” I asked in a mock-curious voice.

“I don’t trust you. Who’s to say you won’t just run off? Then we’d let a high-profile criminal walk free. Plus, we’re not even sure he’s the right man,” Spencer pointed out. I was going to point out how I had just made that same argument about me leaving, and he refuted it himself only to bring it back up now, but I didn’t get the chance.

“He’s the best we’ve got right now,” Derek countered. I could tell he sort of just wanted me out of the room, but Spencer’s motives appeared very different.

He never took his eyes off of mine as he recited, “We think it’s a rogue gang member who’s either left or been kicked out within the past year. Ulton’s been in prison, which could mean he’s gone rogue, or it could mean he’s joined a new gang, one that, as you probably know, wouldn’t allow this type of acting out. Either way, he hasn’t demonstrated gang affiliated behavior in almost three years. Not to mention he had his tattoo removed and is out of our age range. I don’t think putting her on, most likely, the wrong man’s trail is worth the risk of letting her walk free.”

The room was silent as we all waited for someone else to make the first move. I decided to be that person. “So what do you suggest they do with me, hm?” I questioned, walking my two fingers up his chest with each word. Then I leaned in and made it very clear, “Because I am not going back to prison.”

I bit his earlobe on the way back, and I saw the way his pupils dilated just slightly at the feeling, “I’ll watch her for the night.”

“What?” Derek and I said at the same time, but our facial expressions were very different.

“Yes,” he stated, more confidently now, “She has nothing to do right now, but we might need her later in the investigation, so sending her all the way back to prison doesn’t make sense.”

“And you'll make sure she doesn’t escape?” Derek questioned.

“She hasn’t so far, has she?” Spencer challenged. When he got unnerved looks from the rest of the team, he assured, shooting a small smirk my way, “Trust me, she won’t.” How cute. He thinks he can wrap his skinny little fingers around my neck and pull a moan from me once, and all the sudden he’s in control. He switched our position, pinning me up against the door, clasping the handcuffs back around my wrists in front of me. I was starting to think he had a thing for pushing people into walls. It was his turn to whisper in my ear, “And you won't want to.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

When we arrived back at his apartment, I took a moment to survey the room. It looked almost exactly as it had the last time I’d been there. Books piled up everywhere, papers strewn all over the desk, a little dark and dusty, maybe a bit more worn, but nothing too out of the ordinary. The only difference was that it no longer suited him as well anymore. He used to be this shy, studious, loner-type that didn’t really like people, and he had a certain innocence about him. There was nothing innocent about him anymore. He didn’t seem shy either, much more confident; still studious and a loner though. However, I bet he liked having at least one person over at all times, or not being home at all. It meant that he didn’t have to be alone with his own mind, and after being in solitude myself, and knowing that he’d been in there too, that feeling of complete silence, utter aloneness, was something we’d never want to experience again. We were honestly perfect for each other in that way.

The other thing I’d noticed, based on what I'd seen of him within the last few hours and what I knew prison could do to a person, I guessed he went off of instinct rather than intelligence more than he ever had in his life.

Spencer had to take the time to shrug off his satchel and kick off his shoes, neither of which I even had. All I had was myself and what I was wearing, which wasn’t much. At least I wasn’t in an orange jumpsuit anymore.

“Wow, you’ve really renovated the place,” I snickered. Spencer didn’t say anything, just rolled his eyes and brushed past me. I forced my wrists outward a couple times, making a clanking sound with the cuffs, asking, “You gonna take these off?”

He faced me with a smirk and shook his head slightly, “Don’t think so.” Pulling out a chair at the puny kitchen table, he sat down, and I felt like we were much in the same position we’d been in at the office. I was in his home turf, if I could even call it that, but I wasn’t just going to let him be in charge.

I decided to go straight for the jugular, “Why’d you bring me home, Spence?”

“This isn’t home, not for you,” he snapped.

I scoffed, “Doesn’t look like it is for you, either, but that doesn’t change the question.”

“I told you. I didn’t want to risk you running away.”

“You didn’t want to lose me?” I inquired. He could hear the way I was rephrasing it to change the narrative, not like I was wrong, but he successfully dodged it.

“I didn’t want to lose an asset over the wrong man, tipping the right one off, and potentially risking him going underground. I’m just trying to catch an unsub,” he shrugged.

“You’ve got an answer for everything, don’t you?” I shook my head in amusement.

“You don’t?” he cocked an eyebrow.

“Of course I do,” I quickly answered.

“Then answer this,” Spencer squared his shoulders, now completely facing me, “Why didn’t you run the moment you got the chance?”

“I had three FBI personnel in the car with me, then a team of BAU agents surrounding me, and then was left alone in the same room as an agent who can shoot 100 on his test. I am many things, but I am not stupid nor am I suicidal.”

“How’d you know I shot 100?” Spencer followed up.

I smiled, “I know things.”

“How about all the chances you got when you were in prison? You’ve broken out plenty of times before, why not do it again?” He was leaning forward, and he seemed genuinely curious.

It was a good question, one that I actually hadn’t pre-thought the answer to. Frankly, I wasn’t expecting to even make it this far. “I was biding my time.”

“For..?”

“Leverage.” It was a simple word, but one that seemed to make a great impact. Spencer leaned back in his chair and contemplated my answer. It wasn’t a complete lie either, I just didn’t want to give away too many details.

Spencer finally whispered, “Against?”

I flashed him a wicked smile. “You.” His face contorted into something I couldn’t fully recognize, eyes narrowing. “You, Spencer. I’ve been waiting for you to make an error, a mistake. That was the one flaw in my plan, that while I picked the easiest to emotionally manipulate, I picked the hardest to mentally manipulate. And you don’t make very many mental mistakes, do you Spencer?” I asked, approaching him. I’m really hoping you’d like to cash one in right now, though. I could practically see the internal argument being fought inside Spencer’s head; one side telling him to give in, it wasn’t that bad, the other telling him to resist, that somehow, this would corrupt him further. I needed the former to win. “You wouldn’t let yourself get caught up in the moment, would you? You wouldn’t crack, take what you want, what you need, what you deserve against your better judgement. Because you’re all brain, Spencer. All brain, and no heart.”

That’s what did it.

Spencer literally swept me off my feet, tossing me onto the couch like a rag doll. His hand returned to my throat as if it belonged there, and he pushed open my legs with his knees. My hands may have been cuffed, but they could still be useful. I moved them to start unbuttoning his shirt when he swatted them away. He spat, “I’m not heartless. Not like you.”

“No,” I agreed, “You’re worse. At least I can admit to what I am. You just hide behind a badge and gun.”

Spencer shoved two fingers in my mouth, probably trying to shut me up. I smirked, running my tongue up and down the long digits, making sure to give him a preview of what was to come if he’d let it. His other hand trailed down the side of my body until it reached the waistband of the pants I was wearing. Forcefully, he yanked them down, taking my panties with them. I knew I was already pooling, but of course he had to rub it in. Snarky, he mocked, “For someone who talks a big game, you’re already looking pretty weak.”

I silently cursed my body for finding him arousing, and was about to have to come up with a clever comment when I saw Spencer pause. He was charging straight into this, and then he just stopped. I tilted my head, “Worried you don’t have it in you?”

Spencer met my eyes, and cooly stated, “I’m not going to let you be my mistake.”

Dammit. When I felt him start to pull away, I knew I had to say something to get him to stay. I needed to turn this into an advantage in his eyes, not just mine. “Why? So you can let this rage build up inside of you, eat away at your every thought, until you snap? What then? You lash out during a case, which causes someone to die, either because of your incapabilities or at your hand? And what for? Because you’re still mad at me? I’m right here in front of you, Spencer! You’re never going to get a chance like this again, so just do something!” By the end, it was a plea, and one that was brutally answered.

Spencer pushed two of his fingers inside me, already moving at a quick pace. I let out a small yelp at the sensation which clearly pleased Spencer. I attempted to refocus on unbuttoning his shirt, which became increasingly difficult because of how he was curling his fingers to hit that spot just right. I barely finished, pushing his shirt away from his shoulders when he leaned away from me, taking both of his fingers with him. I was about to complain until I saw him dropping his shirt to the ground and unbuckling his belt, pushing his own pants and underwear out of the way in a similar fashion as he’d done to mine. He pumped his fist over his shaft a couple of times before lining himself up between my wide open legs. He teased my clit with the tip of his cock, and I could feel the precum beading there. I bit my lip as I looked up at him.

Spencer’s eyes were blown when he quietly demanded, “Say it.” He wants me to beg. I was okay with him thinking he was in charge for now, so I played into it by shaking my head. He slammed my cuffed wrists against the arm of the couch just above my head, bringing his face so close I could feel his lips brush mine as he repeated, “Say it.”

It was more forceful the second time, and something about his hot breath on my face and the feeling of his hips trying, and failing, to stay still against mine pulled a whimper all too genuine from my lips, “Punish me.”

At my words, he slammed his cock in my entrance, setting a merciless pace. With no time to adjust to his length, the heat burning between my legs got fiercer. The sounds of his hips hitting mine filled the room, both of us trying to control our moans, not wanting the other to know how much we were really enjoying it. My back arched off the couch, sending my fingers over the arm, brushing over thin objects on the small table there. A pen and paper clip.

I pressed my lips together to contain the grin that just about took over my face. Looking down at Spencer, who was way too busy biting marks into my skin, I could tell he hadn’t noticed the detrimental error I’d just realized he’d made. I made quick work of unclasping the cuffs from around my wrists, but left them on loosely just for show.

The coil in my stomach was getting tighter and tighter, and while I usually would have tried to control myself, I let the moans tear through my lungs. This caught Spencer’s attention, perring up at me with a twinkle in his eyes, one that told me he thought he had me. He mouthed into my neck, “This too much for you to handle, Jailbird?”

I scoffed at his pet name. Alright Doctor Reid, you’ve had your fun. Now let me show you how to really be in charge. “Not in the slightest, Mouse,” I quipped. Before he could think, I wrapped my legs around his waist, and put my hands on the back of his head. I flipped us off the side of the couch, landing on top of Spencer. With the wind knocked out of him, I quickly grabbed his wrist, clasping one of the cuffs around it, looping the chain behind the couch leg, then synching the other around his free wrist. I placed his head on the ground and leaned back, tracing patterns on his chest.

It took him a moment to realize what had just happened, but I saw the moment the light went off. “You filthy bitch.”

I chuckled, “It seems as though that genius memory of yours forgot that I’m a criminally sound escape artist.”

He was fuming, but contained himself long enough to ask, “What changed?” I raised an eyebrow at him. “Since last time? You had no problem letting me take control then.”

I simply stated with disgust, “I was soft then.”

“Who’s to say you aren’t still now?” Spencer challenged.

I laced my fingers with his as I pinned them to the ground, my turn to be the one looking down on him, faces only centimeters apart. We locked eyes as I explained, “You can see it too, I know you can. I wake up and see it in the mirror every day, and I see it in you too now. It’s in your eyes. That darkness. That feeling of destruction, of being broken, of being a monster. It’s there. I can see it like it’s my own.”

I expected him to snap at me. To argue with a clever quip. But he didn’t. Spencer leaned up as far as he could and kissed me. Not in the angry, predatory-like way that we had earlier, but really kissed me. I was so taken aback by the gesture that I practically jumped off him after a few seconds. I hated myself for letting it happen for even that long.

I stormed away from him, hissing, “Don’t try to get my sympathy now that you’re the one chained like a dirty animal. I’m not gonna fall for it.”

I saw something quick flash across his face before it hardened again. I could feel his eyes following my every move as I walked away, so I decided to make a show of it. I swished my hips back and forth, and even bent all the way over to pick up our clothes for no reason, just so he could have a perfect view between my legs. I heard the rattle of the cuffs against the couch and smirked to myself.

Tossing the clothes as far away as possible, I reached under my shirt to unclasp my bra, slipping it out one of the arm holes. I spun it around my index finger a couple of times before letting it fly off in the direction of the rest of our clothes. Toying with the hem of my shirt, I rhythmically moved it around my body so that he could only see some exposed skin at a time. I slowly pulled it higher and higher until I removed the garment completely. Standing completely bare in front of him, looking down on his naked body, I’d never felt more in control.

Spencer was drilling holes into me as I got down on my knees, crawling toward him. Again, his hands shot forward only to be stopped by the metal. I tutted, “Now, now, Mouse. That’s not how this works.”

I stroked a single finger up his length, and when it brushed over the tip, he squeezed his eyes shut. I wetted my lips as I wrapped a single hand around his cock, starting at an agonizingly slow pace, a stark contrast to the one he’d set earlier. I had barely started moving at a faster pace when Spencer started to buck his hips up into my hand. I slammed his hips back down with my other arm, giving him a cold look. His hips stilled and I knew he was getting desperate.

I flattened my palm against his lower belly, making sure he’d stay in place as I steadily picked up the pace. Spencer threw his head back when I swiped my tongue over his tip, and huffed when I retracted my hands, breaking contact all together.

I hummed, “Actually, this isn’t that interesting.” I scooted back on the floor, holding eye contact with his piercing irises as I spread my legs wide open for him to see. Neither one of us has had our release yet, so I might as well take mine and leave him high and dry.

I brushed my fingertips down my body, cupping my breasts on the way, until I reached my clit. I started to rub circles over the bundle of nerves, not realizing how close I already was. I let out exaggerated moans as I continued my ministrations, steadily pushing myself toward the edge.

“Stop.” It was barely a whisper, and I wasn’t sure if I even heard it, so I ignored it. Right as another moan ripped through my lungs, I heard Spencer say, louder and more demanding this time, “Stop.”

I was too close to stop. I barely had the mental capacity to smirk down at him before I felt my release crash over me like a tidal wave. For dramatic effect, I whined out Spencer’s name as my walls clenched around nothing, helping myself through my orgasm. Slowly coming down from my high, my head lulled back, release seeping into his rug.

Barely allowing myself to catch my breath, I leaned forward onto my knees, and looked at Spencer’s face, which was red with anger or desperation I couldn’t tell, but brought my lips down on his dick regardless. He grunted at the sensation, and I could feel the heat radiating off of him. I swirled my tongue around him until I couldn’t anymore, opting to just trace a protruding vein instead. I started to hollow out my cheeks when he bucked up into me, forcing me to take all of him in at once. He groaned when I started gagging around his length, and when I coughed after pulling off him, he had the audacity to laugh.

“Having trouble there, Jailbird?” Spencer smugly asked. I looked down at his length laying against his stomach and saw that it was a deep red, and had to have been painfully hard at that point. With that in mind, along with my recent release, I crawled over him.

I looked at him as I hovered my pussy just above his cock. “I wouldn’t be worried about me. I’d be worried about how you’re gonna take care of yourself with your hands cuffed if I decided I’m done with you.”

That threat wiped the smug look right off his face. I was already wet again, and allowed him to only barely feel what was waiting for him if he behaved, lowering myself down so his length was just brushing my lips.

His face contorted and then he said the word of my victory, “Please.”

Taking hold of his cock in one hand, I lined myself up, and slowly sunk down. He filled me up completely, a bit thicker than I remembered, and I sat comfortably in his lap. This was clearly what Spencer wanted, but there was no way in hell it was going to be that easy. I just sat there looking at him, and based on the crazed look on his face, he was expecting me to start moving immediately.

We stared each other down for a moment before his whole body jerked forward, hands yanking on the cuffs. It was my turn to laugh at his pathetic struggles, but I still didn’t have quite what I wanted yet. Raising my hips up, I quickly slammed them down, pulling the loudest groan I’d heard from Spencer. When I didn’t move again, he started squirming underneath me, and I asked, “What is it you want me to do, Mouse?”

Then he broke, his strangled pleas music to my ears, “God, fuck me, please, just fuck me!”

I grinned as I captured his lips in a vicious kiss, pulling his bottom lip between my teeth. Steadying myself with my palm on his chest, I lifted my hips up, only to let them fall back into his lap. I started slower than either of us wanted, letting myself adjust to his full size before bouncing freely on his dick. The sounds of our heavy moans filled the air, sweat collecting on our bodies.

I was honestly surprised at how long Spencer had lasted when he let out one final shriek before coming undone below me. He’d given up, completely relaxed on the floor as I started chasing my second orgasm. Spencer peered up at me through hooded eyes, and soon enough starting letting out cries, and I knew I was pushing him. I didn’t want to completely overwhelm him but I was so close…

I wouldn’t get there, not yet anyway, because Spencer did something I was not expecting. The couch hit the floor with a loud thud, giving Spencer the freedom to move his arms. He wrapped the chain of the cuffs around the back of my neck and flipped me over in one swift motion, almost identical to how I’d just done it to him.

I was completely caught off guard, and let a surprised squeak leave my lips. I was almost impressed. Almost.

As if he could see straight into my mind, Spencer remarked, “I’m a quick study.” His entire body weight was over me, and there was very little wiggle room for an escape.

I followed Spencer’s eyes as he scanned around the room, glanced at his wrists, then sighed when he spotted his pants. Must’ve been where he put the key.

I raised my pitch and snidely sang like a schoolgirl, “Whatcha gonna do Mouse? You gonna fuck me like the inmate you are, or are you gonna free yourself, hm?”

Pressing his hands down on either side of my perfectly laid out ones above my head, the chain between the cuffs digging into my forearms, he chided, “I’m sure I can handle you just fine with them on. I’m not quite done with you yet, Jailbird.”

My walls fluttered around his cock at the gravelly sound of his voice and the threat that accompanied it. It’s as if he’s chained to me. I shuddered happily at the thought.

“Is that what this is about?” Spencer hissed, clearly catching my pleased look and the way my pussy pulled him in a little more at his harsh words, “You just enjoy seeing me as some twisted killer?”

“I enjoy seeing you for who you truly are.”

I wasn’t able to form another coherent thought after that one, the pace Spencer was pounding into me like one I’d never felt. He fucked his cum from only seconds ago back into me, the wet sound of our mixing fluids filling the room. I could barely focus on where his hands had moved to, teasing my nipples, because the fire between my legs was jumping higher and higher. As it finally burned through me in the sweetest way possible, I reached to grab onto anything, the first thing my fingers found being Spencer’s hair. He growled when I tugged, but his pace never let up.

As I came down from my high, Spencer didn’t stop. The feelings were becoming too strong, too overpowering, pleasure bordering on pain. I tried to pull my hips away from his, but there was nothing I could do. To stop my squirming, he sat back slightly and pressed his large palms down on my hip bones. Moving also changed the angle he was slamming into me, now bottoming out with each thrust. I needed some reprieve.

“Spencer,” I whined, but there was a nothingness in his eyes.

His hands snaked up to my throat, applying massive pressure to my windpipe. “Is this what you wanted?” Spencer yelled, “Is this what you think I truly am?”

I was having trouble getting the air into my lungs, let alone respond. I wanted to force him to face his reality of being an ex-con, knowing how shitty it was to be on the inside and just letting me sit in there. A consequence of my own actions, but considering I was doing it to save him, I was looking for a little bit more effort on the getting out process.

But he’d left me in there. He didn’t care. He didn’t care despite the fact that he knew what I was going through, that I could tell he was still dealing with his own PTSD and not well, and that everything had changed for him. People looked at him and treated him differently. He was a different person. Corrupt. And he’d only been in there for not even three months.

I’d been in there for five times as long.

I wanted him to realize just how much damage him and his useless team were doing to me by not helping me get out. I wanted him to realize how fucked up that was, and how terrible of a person that made him. I wanted him to realize he was just as big of a monster as I was.

I accomplished that. But I underestimated how much darkness he’d really been holding back.

My head started to feel light, and I could tell I was on the brink of my third release. The sound of skin slapping skin was sinful and I couldn’t focus on anything other than the feeling of his tip hitting my a-spot, the way my legs were shaking around his body, the way the muscles in his back felt against my nails as I clawed them down it. My release came quicker than Spencer’s, who wasn’t too far behind me. His thrusts became shallower, as he spilled into me for the second time. It was as if all the energy had been drained out of me in an instant, along with my anger and hatred. Spencer rolled off of me, and I saw his figure weakly collapse to the ground.

It was an eerie calm, the sound of absolute nothingness, the only disturbance being our labored breathing.

I didn’t know how long it’d been when Spencer’s voice, the softest I’d heard it since the day’s start, whispered, “Are you okay?”

I glanced at him with a confused look. He let out a small sigh at my non response, collecting himself before walking over to his long forgotten pants for the cuffs key. After freeing his wrists, he walked back over to me and helped me up, ushering me to the bathroom.

I could tell he was examining me, but it wasn’t until I stood in front of the mirror that I realized why. “Look at those bruises around your neck, Jailbird. They suit you.”

The bruises were deep and already turning a nice purple. I scanned the rest of me finding more bruises on my hips, thighs, shoulders, wrists, and not to mention the bite mark on my collar. I scanned Spencer next, his only bruises coming from his wrists and the red marks I left on his back. “I wasn’t expecting that from you.”

He met my eyes in the mirror, “What were you expecting?”

I shook my head, “I don’t know.” I truly didn’t. I went into it knowing I wanted to force him to see everything he had, everything he was, but I guess I didn’t really think about what that would force me to see. My exhaustion started to give way to a heap of emotions, and a single, involuntary tear escaped my eye. Spencer brushed his fingers over my neck, simultaneously pulling my hair behind my shoulder.

He kissed the tender, bruised skin, and I remembered the times before, the times when it felt like we’d really been in love. I felt his breath on me as he mumbled, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

I turned on my heels to face him, “You didn’t.”

I didn’t know what compelled him to confess what I never thought he would, but he sounded deeply ashamed when admitting, “I wanted to.”

“What stopped you?” I was genuinely curious. We’d hurt each other in the most extreme ways before today, getting the other sent to a cage in hell, betraying each other.

“I’m broken, but I’m not beyond repair, and hurting you would make me someone that I don’t want to be.”

I gave him a tired smile, and all I could muster was, “Pretty convincing.”

“I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“Don’t be, you didn’t. You couldn’t,” I assured him. It was the truth.

“I should’ve,” he bit, looking down at his hands, which were so delicately holding my waist I couldn’t be sure he was even touching me.

“Why?” I questioned, the seriousness evident in my voice, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

He shook his head, and a stray curl or two tickled my forehead. “I could’ve.”

“I trusted you not to.” I clasped my hands together and rested them on his back.

Spencer’s shaky voice matched his glistening eyes as they locked with mine, “I just wasn’t sure. All I know is that I scare myself sometimes.”

I pressed my forehead against his own, “Well, then I guess we’re two people who have nothing to fear other than ourselves.”

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

Text

The Temple- Chapter 1/?

N’Jadaka x OC

A/N: I thought this was going to be a two parter, but now it’s looking like maaaaybe 3? I’m just now getting back into my writing and forgot how longwinded I can be lol. Enjoy!

CW: short mention of suicidal ideation

Previous chapter: Prologue

3256 Words

N’Jadaka’s eyes blinked open and he was met with yet another day in Wakanda. This one was a little different than all his other mornings there because it was the first time he got to wake up in his own bed in his own quarters (outside of that one day he was king.) N’Jadaka had spent the last three months in a psychiatric treatment facility working on his anger and mental health issues. When he woke up after the civil war he caused he was livid. He had wanted to die on that mountain and unfortunately the feeling didn’t leave him until about a month into his treatment. He felt he had nothing to live for since his entire life’s work had gone up in flames before his eyes. He accomplished his one goal in life only to have it snatched back from him a day later. Everything important to him in his life had been taken from him and he felt he had nothing else to live for, so his cousin, King T’Challa, arranged for N’Jadaka to spend some time at Ithemba Center for Mental Wellness.

He would never admit it out loud, but N’Jadaka was scared to go to Ithemba. He thought his stint as king would have turned Wakandans against him, but it did the opposite. The royal family had decided that transparency was the best policy and did a press conference explaining the entire situation to the people. T’Challa explained what had happened between his father and uncle, what the prince’s life had been like up to that point, and the fact that while he did usurp the throne he did it the right way according to Wakandan law so he wouldn't be charged with treason. The people of Wakanda were shocked, but welcomed their new prince with open arms. He wasn’t aware of the new developments because he was still resting in a healing pod in Shuri’s lab at the time, but when he went to Ithemba he was surprised to find out that everybody already knew him and was more than willing to help him. N’Jadaka hadn’t received that much care and attention since he was a child and he didn't really know how to handle it. It took him weeks to learn how to open himself to others, and it wasn’t until his last month of treatment that he even began opening himself up to the other patients in group therapy.

N’Jadaka’s main therapist was a woman named Ife. She reminded him so much of his mother that he had almost no choice but to open himself to her, crying in her lap during their first couple sessions. Ife had been incredibly patient with the emotional yet emotionally repressed prince, allowing him to work through his overwhelming feelings of anger, sadness, and hurt.

His time with Ife and the other patients at the center had been incredibly healing and he felt like a new man. He still felt like he had a ways to go, and he could tell he needed something, but couldn’t figure out what. His healing didn’t feel anywhere close to being done.

A knock at the door interrupted his morning laziness.

“Ngena.”

In walked the king of Wakanda flanked by two of his Dora Milaje, who he politely dismissed to stand outside the door. He walked across the room and sat in the plush velvet wingback chair by the full bookshelves.

“Sup man?” N’Jadaka barely opened his eyes to speak to his cousin. The bed was too comfortable.

“My apologies cousin, did I wake you?”

“Nah I’m up, this bed just won’t let me go.”

T’Challa chuckled at his cousin’s laziness. He completely understood, the beds were the most comfortable beds he’d experienced in all of his travels and time abroad in school.

“I just wanted to formally invite you to attend breakfast at 9. It’s casual, just family and whatever few friends are staying in the palace with us at the time. M’Baku will be joining us today.”

“The gorilla nigga?”

T’Challa tried and failed to stifle his laughter, which quickly spread to his slightly younger cousin.

“Yes the gorilla nigga.”

“Ooooh I’m telling M’Baku you said that. Better yet, I’m telling Auntie.”

“I’d really rather you not.”

N’Jadaka chuckled and wondered if this is how it always would’ve been if they had grown up together. The thought was more bitter than sweet, so he pushed it aside for the time being.

“Maybe just this once.”

T’Challa grinned at his cousin and he also wondered how life would’ve been had they known each other their whole lives.

“Thank you. Oh and get up, it’s already 8:30” T’Challa stood and walked towards the door.

“These damn beds…” N’Jadaka shook his head and reluctantly flung the sheet back and swung his legs over the side of his bed, completely forgetting he slept naked. He rushed to cover himself in the king’s presence.

“Shit, my bad, man.”

“For…?”

“Nigga I got my dick swinging!”

“You’re sorry for being naked? Wh- oh that’s right. We aren’t puritanical like you are used to in America. Nudity isn't scandalous here, it’s just a body. But I will leave and let you get ready. See you, umzala.”

N’Jadaka stood there shocked. He knew of Wakandan culture, but experiencing it was going to be an adjustment. Just how different were they? They were never affected by colonization so the oppressive white supremacist ideology wouldn’t exist there. He had a lot of unlearning to do and a lot of questions to ask his family.

He eventually shook himself out of his thoughts and made his way to the en suite bathroom. He turned on the shower using the touchpad and the water fell from the ceiling like rain. He scrubbed down in the vanilla chai body wash he had requested and afterwards he covered his skin in shea butter. He walked into his enormous closet and stood there overwhelmed at the choices. His inner child wanted to throw a fit for everything he’d missed out on, but N’Jadaka took a deep breath to center himself before walking over to the section of clothes that he recognized. He was so nervous about breakfast he almost dressed to impress, but then he remembered T’Challa’s words and casual outfit. He grabbed his Lost Tribe hoodie and threw on his favorite black jeans and his Timbs. He swooped all his locs to one side of his head and threw on his gold glasses. N’Jadaka took a deep breath and walked towards the door.

“Chill out...it’ll be fine.”

The guards stationed outside his door directed him to the dining room where he was met with the smiling faces of his family members. Ramonda was the first to notice he’d entered the room..

“Mholo, umtshana!”

She met him for a hug and kissed his cheek. He smiled so hard his dimples looked deeper than ever and he hugged her back.

“Mornin, Auntie. T, Lil Bit, Charlie’s Angel, Big Man.” N’Jadaka greeted his cousins, Nakia, and M’Baku.

Yet again, T’Challa failed to stifle a laugh, which he tried to play off with a cough. Nakia lightly backhanded his chest and sucked her teeth at him.

“Little bit? Don't start with me, bubble wrap!”

“Who is Charlie and why am I their angel?”

“That is not my name.”

Shuri, Nakia, and M’Baku spoke over each other.

Thankfully the queen mother was there to settle the children down right as the food was being brought out. N’Jadaka looked at the table and was surprised to see that Ramonda was seated next to T’Challa and that the only empty seat was at the end of the table.

The king noticed N’Jadaka’s nervousness as he watched him sit down gingerly and take in his surroundings.

“So N’Jadaka, how was your first night in the palace? Our beds are the most comfortable in the world.”

“Auntie, I almost didn’t come to breakfast. That bed had a hold on me.”

“You must come visit my people sometimes. If you think you sleep good here, wait until you have the crisp mountain air-”

“Nah lemme stop you right there. Crisp is code for cold, and I don't do that shit. Sorry Auntie.”

“I don't do that shit either. When I was staying there I shivered the whole time, even with the beautiful furs and blankets! I’m just not built for the cold.”

N’Jadaka grimaced at the mention of his time as a burgeoning world dictator. He was thankful nobody noticed.

He was also thankful for the large platters of food the kitchen staff came and sat in front of them. They passed the food around the table and soon enough there was silence as everyone dug into what N’Jadaka would later describe as the best meal he ever had.

After breakfast, the three men retired to T’Challa’s office while the princess hurried off to her lab, Nakia disappeared, and Ramonda tended to her garden.

“So, N’Jadaka...I wanted to talk to you about a few things-”

“Then why is Mighty Joe Young here?”

M’Baku rolled his eyes.

“Again, that is not my name. Who even is this person?”

“It’s a big ass gorilla.”

“Oh- well in that case…”

T’Challa cleared his throat.

“As I was saying. Before anything, we need to address your crowning ceremony. Obviously you are part of the royal family, but by Wakandan law, all royalty must be officially crowned to be able to hold a title. If you would like to be Prince N’Jadaka son of Prince N’Jobu we must have the ceremony.”

N’Jadaka’s voice caught in his throat and his eyes got misty.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

M’Baku put a hand on his shoulder.

“It’s good to have you, brother.”

“Good to be here.”

T’Challa fought tears of his own.

“Ok so uh, that’s that. We can hash those details out later. Now, the second thing I wanted to bring up with you is this: M’Baku and Nakia have offered to show you around the merchant tribe here in the city, the river tribe, and Jabariland. Shuri will get you acquainted with the mining tribe, and I will take you out to the border tribe on Wednesday.”

“Aight, sounds like a plan, but I don’t want the surface-level touristy shit.”

T’Challa chuckled.

“Noted. Now, lastly,” T’Challa pulled up a projection of a futuristic yet somehow still modern building next to a basketball court.

N’Jadaka’s stomach dropped.

“What is this?”

“I want to open our borders to the ‘Lost Tribe’ as you call it. Maybe to the rest of the world eventually, but at the time they are less of a concern. In addition to that, I-”

The king was cut off by Nakia entering the room.

“Perfect time, love.”

“Sorry for being late, this baby runs my life now.”

“I’m getting a baby cousin?!”

Nakia looked at him dryly.

“Yes, N’Jadaka, you are getting a baby cousin.”

He peeped her attitude and settled down. If there was one thing he knew in this world, it was never piss of a pregnant woman.

“So the Outreach Centers, yes. I had actually had the idea for a while, but it took the country almost burning down for this idiot to see I was right. T’Challa had the idea to use your old apartment complex as the first Wakandan Outreach Center. Hopefully if it goes well, we could expand to-”

N’Jadaka zoned out staring at the projection. His vision may not have come true in the way he thought it would, but this would certainly be a step towards the betterment of the lives of Black people everywhere. N’Jadaka couldn't help but grin.

“I think we lost him…”

“Cousin!”

He snapped out of his daze.

“Yeah I-I like it. Thank you, this really means a lot. One thing though?”

“Yes?”

“I want it dedicated to my pops.”

T’Challa smiled and zoomed in on the name above the door. It read “Prince N’Jobu’s Wakandan Outreach Center”. Then he took them on a 3-D tour of the facility, ending with the memorial to N’Jobu in room 1401.

N’Jadaka nearly broke down in tears.

“Cool. Thanks, man. For everything. This is…” N’Jadaka took a deep breath. “Just, thanks…”

The other three Wakandans smiled back at him fondly, an occurrence it seemed he would have to get used to.

“I’m glad you like it. Now if you three will excuse me, I have work to do.”

Nakia kissed T’Challa’s forehead and left the room.

“Aight, I need something lighthearted. A nigga is tired of crying. Oh! Actually I got some questions…”

“Ask away.”

“So earlier you mentioned how free and open and shit yall are here...I’m single and haven’t had any in like 6 months so where can I go to find some pussy. Since I’m a prince do I just like, I don't know, have concubines brought to me? I don't know how this works”

M’Baku snorted.

“Clearly.”

N’Jadaka flipped him off while T’Challa answered.

“No, we do not have ‘concubines’ though we do sort of have sex workers, which we can discuss later. You know, it would do you good to read some Wakandan history books...and maybe even some of our sex education material.”

“Ay man, I already know all that.”

“Not the way we teach it. Plus our birth control is better here.”

“More effective?”

“And no side effects. Trust me, you’ll want to visit the library at the end of the hall, cousin.”

N’Jadaka considered his suggestion and made a mental note to check out the library later that day.

“Yes, maybe you’ll learn a thing or two,” M’Baku chimed in.

“My guy, I know how sex works! I’m just curious about the culture surrounding sex. T, you said y'all aren’t puritanical like America...expand on that.”

“Well the list of books I just sent to your beads would be able to cover this in greater detail than I can at the moment, but basically every preconceived notion you have about sex, gender, attraction, etc. has been tainted by colonialism as a means of control over the population.”

“Hanuman…”

“Yeah I know that, I guess I just can’t really conceptualize a world without all that sexism and homophobia and shit.”

“What is homophobia?” M’Baku asked, genuinely confused. The cousins answered at the same time.

“When people hate gay niggas.”

“The hatred of, or at least the disdain for, those who are attracted to their same gender.”

“And we ain't even getting into the people who aren't men or women, that shit blows people's minds.”

“Why?”

The cousins continued to explain the outside world to M’Baku for what felt like hours. T’Challa looked at the clock and stood.

“Well gentlemen, as...depressing as this conversation has been, we must get to the council meeting.”

“I need a drink after that. The strongest Jabari mead!”

“Yeah imagine living with that shit for 30 years then coming here. I’m not gonna know how to act.”

“You’ll learn.”

The three made their way to the council meeting and N’Jadaka had never been so bored in all of his life. He started nodding off at one point and M’Baku elbowed him in his side when he started to snore. When it was finally over they parted ways and N’Jadaka headed to the library. He had plenty of reading to do.

He started with the Wakandan history books reading about the lives of his ancestors. His fathers stories had given him a good foundation to build on, but what he found in the books blew his mind.

Wakandans can trace their history for thousands of years, all the way back to the time of the great Bashenga, the first Black Panther. Growing up as a Black American, N’Jadaka had no connection to his mother’s family history because there was no record. When the Lost Tribe was enslaved and brought to the west, they were recorded as cargo, not people. The enslavers didn’t care about their names or where they came from, and when they got to shore their families continued to be ripped apart and sold to the highest bidder. They weren’t allowed to play drums and congregate, they weren’t allowed to read, they weren’t allowed to marry. There was no written record of his people, and the most they could go on was family bibles which almost never went back before the mid 1800s.

N’Jadaka was overwhelmed with the information, so he decided to switch to something else and come back to the history books later. He picked up “Intimacy and Sex” by Ami Nbunda and flipped through the pages. He skimmed the table of contents and was surprised by what he saw.

The first chapter was on anatomy, but it actually included intersex people instead of just focusing on male and female bodies. The next chapter was about loving and respecting yourself and others, but not in the slut-shaming way of the outside world. The next few chapters were on the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, and the last few were on birth control, sexual health, attraction, healthy communication, and more resources.

The prince couldn’t believe what he was seeing as he flipped through the pages. He stopped on a full-color photo of a vulva with all the parts labeled.

“This is for kids? Damn, we really living in two different worlds. America would never.”

He turned the page and saw a to-scale model of the entire clitoris, and his eyes bugged out of his head.

“That shit’s a whole wishbone…”

He continued to read through the pages in awe. M’Baku was right, he was learning a thing or two.

N’Jadaka spent the whole day in the library reading book after book on everything he could get his hands on. If it hadn’t been for his guards alerting him to the time, he would’ve missed dinner. He grabbed the last two books and went to drop them in his quarters before heading to dinner.

“Umzala, have you been in the library this whole time?”

“Yeah man, it’s a lot to take in. I might have to take that sex ed book back to the states.”

“We plan on doing just that at the Outreach Centers. Comprehensive sex education is a necessity, and since your government prefers to keep people in the dark about how their own bodies work it will be our job to educate those who come through our doors. All but the last chapter, of course.”

T’Challa winked and N’Jadaka felt like he had missed something.

“You mean the resources? Makes sense, those books wouldn't be available outs-”

“Not the books, dear, the Temple.” Ramonda chimed in.

“The what? I ain't got that far yet.”

Shuri rounded the corner and N’Jadaka expected the conversation to stop, but no.

“Remember earlier when you asked about concubines and I said we have sex workers?”

Ramonda cut her eyes at N’Jadaka as he nodded.

“Well that term doesn’t quite encompass what they do. They are sexual healers blessed by Bast herself and they reside in the Temple of Healing on the outskirts of the city near the Land of the Dead. They are known as the Daughters of Bast.”

“Now I feel bad for calling them concubines.”

“You should.” Ramonda said as she slapped him upside the head.

“Ow Auntie, damn”

T’Challa was thankful that his mother had someone else to fuss over, and he chuckled.

“I think it would be a good idea for you to pay them a visit. They are healers, after all.”

Next Chapter

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #njadaka #the temple #n'jadaka x oc

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halofractured · 4 years ago

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For all of your girls: 👿: What are your muses’ fatal flaws? Any wish lists to do with them? -and- 🤗: Could you give us an angsty excerpt about your muse? (hehehe)

Thank youuuuuuu!!! <333 Answers and mini rant under the cut! fgshjdk

- Jey’s Fatal Flaw - Possessiveness. Her over-protectiveness (which is often a problem just itself) can bleed over into possessiveness. She hates it about herself, but it still happens. Her literal fatal flaw is severe selflessness and lack of self-preservation, because that literally does kill her in the end. But that felt too cheap to write as the main thing adsfghdjk

- Whitney’s Fatal Flaw - Jealousy. She has trouble dealing with spouts of envy in even the smallest, every day things. And even often bigger things too.

- Alco’s Fatal Flaw - Callousness. In her Barian Life, she trained up her cold unfeeling personality, it’s been hard to try and break.

- Sheira’s Fatal Flaw - Cowardice. She doesn’t know if she could have the strength to put her own life last in a dire situation, and it scares her.

- Harper’s Fatal Flaw - Ignorance. Most of it is genuine, but she has caught herself purposefully turning her brain off, even when she does know better.

Wishlists to do with their fatal flaws? Kind of! Mostly canon-story related where these aforementioned elements shine through. I would be open to plotting stuff for it, though! In the future ^^

Every good character has moments where they actually and genuinely frick up, bad. And most of the time, they don’t want to admit to it at first, or don’t see it that way in the beginning.

[ (Which I think a lot of OC creators tend to avoid, unfortunately. I know it’s not fun for a mun’s oc bby to be wholeheartedly in the wrong and have them be told off about it, but at some point that can’t be the excuse anymore. I actually think it way worse to have the characters always be in the right, or always just the victim. Especially in the RP world. It’s a sign of bad writing, and a factor to why OCs got such a bad rep in the first place. I don’t want my characters falling into that trap!) ]

ANywaYS LOL, SORRY

I don’t have a written angsty excerpt yet?

Afsghdjkl no wait...

do I?????

Please hold as I scroll files:

Oh look I found one. AGSDHJFKL-

Context? We don’t know her.

“Did you know my sissy is a dragon?” Laurie beamed.

“What.” Said Whitney.

Jey swooped off the couch in a heartbeat, “Okay little miss, time for snacks—“

“You know because dragons have treasure that they find and keep!”

Whitney looked confused. Sheira’s face remained unreadable but her posture ebbed of an understanding. “Oh Yeah! According to most fictions, a dragon would have a hidden hoard they kept and protected against strangers or thieves! My dad once told me—” Harper’s rambles were interrupted by a swift, light smack of Sheira’s palm muffling her mouth.

“Yeah! Uh huh! My sissy does that, with gold hearts!”

“What,” Whitney said again.

“Gold hearts!” Laurie tapped her chest, “Like mine!”

The little girl turned to Jey, “Right?”

The elder Clarison was paused, hands lifted but doing no real action, and shaking slightly. Jey put them down, expression gentle and emotional.

“That’s right,” She said, “Now c’mon, you get one debbie cake since you ate most of dinner’s veggies.”

#❝ OOC? Like ‘we’re out of milk’ but it’s ‘we’re out of a character’? ❞ | ℬ𝑙𝑢𝑒 | {☕︎}#beholdinghearts #(( THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!!! Afgshjdk <33 Sorry about the mini rant lol I have a lotto feelings about that a apparently sfgdhjk #❝ 𝐷o you think you can ℒove someone without knowing how to ℒove 𝒴ourself? ❞ |〈��⟡⤞〉#“𝒲ouldn’t it be 𝓽ragic if..~?” 𝐖hitney { IC }#“𝑬nchanting 𝑬mpress! 𝑨lco the Eighth Barian!” { IC }#“ℐ see beyond the 𝓋eil of - 𝑒ℯ𝑘!” 𝓢heira { IC }#“𝐴vast crew! 𝐼t’s the 𝒽eart of starboard! ” 𝐻arper { IC }#| Saved | ✧

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randomguywithwords · 5 years ago

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As The Dust Settles: Chapter 11 (Dabi x Geten Slowburn)

Previous Chapters: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

–––––––

Chapter 11: Tomura Shimura

“So, Shigaraki, what will you do now?” Garaki asked as the two walked down the path.

“You told me you could give me the power to destroy everything. I want it,” Shigaraki said.

“Very well, but first, let’s have another little chat. If I’m going to help you, I need to know what exactly you plan to achieve.” Garaki gestured to two chairs in front of a hive of screens.

Once the two sat down, Shigaraki opened, “I just said it. Destroy everything. I don’t need the army. I’ll send them to do some random shit, make the heroes think that I have some grand scheme. I don’t, that is, if you’re not lying about this experiment, I can do it all by myself.”

“I’ve told you, it works. Do you not remember?” Garaki said, slightly affronted.

Shigaraki let the silence hang at the chiding undertone and eyed the doctor. “I remember everything now. Everything.” He saw Garaki shrink slightly under his glare. It was unspoken, but what was implied passed between the two.

“I figured as much, judging from the awakening of your quirk,” Garaki murmured, unable to conceal a hint of nervousness. “Do you hate me and your sensei, Shigaraki?” A bead of sweat dripped down the doctor’s bald head.

Shigaraki didn’t answer at first. Instead he looked down at his repaired hand; it looked no different than the hands of Everyone. He took a deep breath. “My family is gone. I killed them. I’ve...I think I’ve accepted that. The weight of them is gone. Sensei is the only family I have left – That’s what I thought. So I don’t hate you or him, because you’ve raised me. But that’s the thing, isn’t it?”

Shigaraki looked up at the doctor. “The two of you raised me into a monster. Sensei’s monster. I’m both his student and his masterpiece. That disgusts me.”

Garaki sweat. “But you said–”

“I might hate you, but I still respect you for your help.” Shigaraki nodded as a mark of acknowledgment. “I hate Sensei now as much as I love him. So if you’re thinking I’ll break into Tartarus to release him, you’re wrong.”

“I – I see.”

Shigaraki continued with no relent. “I’m not following you, not Sensei, not anyone. I’m doing things my own way, and I have the League, the Liberation Army, and your help. So, doctor, tell me now, will you give it?”

Garaki was visibly stunned by this abrupt display of power, but he recovered with an expression Shigaraki could only define as admiration and a hint of fear. “You’ll have it, Shigaraki. The power you desire.”

“And what do you want in return? I assume the conversation would have led here at some point,” He said sharply.

Garaki did not answer for a few seconds. “Let me live.” Was Garaki’s simple reply. “I’ve no wish to die now. Not ever.”

Shigaraki nodded. “I’m sure that’s what the League wants too. I’m not stopping any of you.”

“And you? Don’t you want to live too, Shigaraki?”

Tomura Shigaraki smiled, an action society associated with happiness. But Tomura was not part of society. He smiled because he could not reconcile with the twisted emotions haunting him. Despite all that had happened, he would never be able to fill that hole in his heart. He smiled because he understood something the Garaki, All For One, and everyone else in the world could never comprehend. He understood that...

“Live or die, I will one day be watching the most beautiful horizon of oblivion alone, forever.”

–––––––

“Ah, so you’re the squad.” Dabi eyed the three men in front of him. “Glad to meet you. But I thought I had another three…?”

“The rest are scattered across the country. They may return if needed, but otherwise they were posted on Skeptic’s request.” One of them spoke up, his voice muffled by the skull mask he wore on his face.

“You’re Kami, right? Gasoline quirk?” Dabi asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“I don’t recall seeing any of you. Where were you guys the past week?”

“Each of us takes charge of a squadron in a province. We were just close enough to Deika City to return home for tonight,” Another spoke up, his head oddly shaped, more akin to that of a shark than a human. Charioteer, Dabi guessed.

“Which reminds us, we must go. It’s starting.” The third spoke. Shingu Takame, Beatdown. Dabi was stunned by how seemingly old he was. He could see the wrinkles around his face, and he was bald. Despite wearing a suit and tie, for whatever reason, Dabi could see his broad build. This is the person she was worried about. Why, though?

“Yeah, come on.” Dabi motioned for the rest to follow. The walk there was silent; Dabi found that the soldiers of the Liberation Front usually maintained a cold exterior. These guys are no different, he observed. Same as her.

He gritted his teeth, correcting himself. No, she’s a victim. Unless these guys were forced by Re-destro and those bastards too?

They reached the secret entrance to their underground meeting chamber. While the three congregated with the rest of the massive crowd, Dabi walked up the stairs and took his seat with the rest of the lieutenants, some arriving, some already present. He saw Re-destro sitting a few seats away from him, looking down at all the soldiers like a proud mother hen with that trademark smile of his he’d seen on TV.

He bit back a snarl, a part of him wanting to burn that smile off his face. Not now, he cautioned. Soon.

“Hey.” Compress’ voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Dabi looked at him as he sat down beside him. “What’re you looking at Re-destro for?”

“Don’t like him,” Dabi replied. It was a truth.

“You and Twice, huh? Jin still hasn’t forgiven him for what he did to Giran, but he’s restraining himself because of this alliance and Shigaraki’s orders.”

“What about you? You mean you ain’t pissed?” Dabi watched Re-destro get up from his seat and address the crowd, heralding the arrival of the Grand Commander.

“I don’t hold grudges, unless they ruin a performance of mine.” Atsuhiro leaned back on his seat, relaxing his arms on the armrests. “If we’re going to be working together, might as well forgive and forget.”

“That’s nice,” Dabi mechanically said, as Shigaraki emerged onto the stage. “I think I’ll pass on using the power of friendship.”

Compress sighed. “You gotta drop it with Apocrypha. She doesn’t seem so aggressive now, anyway. She did think you won that fight, didn’t she?”

Dabi saw the hooded girl in his peripheral, sitting quietly with her head drooping. Perhaps she was listening to Shigaraki giving his address, perhaps she was ignoring it in its entirety.

“Yeah,” he said sourly, recalling what he had seen in her diary. All thoughts of lording his “victory” over her died in that instant. “But it’s not her. It’s Re-destro.”

“I see. Well, don’t kill him like you tried with Apocrypha.” Compress turned to face Shigaraki’s form standing at the forestage. Dabi listened in to the remainder of Shigaraki’s speech as well.

“You know your regiment leaders. Train hard this week, because we’re starting the next Liberation Festival in the next. That’s all.” Having finished, Shigaraki turned around and walked backstage, to resounding applause and cheers.

Dabi caught a glimpse of Shigaraki’s expression. He was unsure of how to define it, but he recognised it well. As he walked through the tunnels out of the chamber, he kept coming back to that expression, that look on his leader’s face.

He knew that Shigaraki was lying. Something about what he said was false. That damn look on his face...

Dabi had wore that same expression before their last job. Before he realised it, Touya Todoroki’s memories resurfaced once more.

“You’ll cover me, right?” Touya said, looking at his mentor and partner.

Dabi looked at him. “I got you, don’t worry. Let’s go.” He had a look on his face, a calmness to it, but also something else behind it that Touya had noticed, but had not registered. A subtle side glance. A tensing of his lips.

Touya took a deep breath. His hands burned with orange fire, like the rising sun.

As Dabi leapt down from the roof, Touya followed.

–––––––

So uh, you probably have forgotten about this Dabi OC, which I introduced in another flashback in the earlier chapters. I didn’t bring him up since then because I wasn’t too sure how I wanted him to work in my story, but now that I have a clearer idea of the character, I’m putting him back in.

To sum up, there is Dabi, our MC, I.e Touya, and there is Dabi the OC. Yes, Touya took his name.

Thanks so much for everyone’s support, and if I could I’d like to mention Kerasion and Kannra in particular. It really brightened up my day.

Uh, thoughts about the chapter itself: This Shigaraki POV will probably be a rare, perhaps one-off scene, but I felt the need to address Shigaraki’s motivations and true plans for the PLF.

Moving forward, I’m hoping the relationship-building between the two MCs can finally begin, but also the politics within the PLF’s leadership won’t get better.

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smolbeandrabbles · 5 years ago

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All I Want For Christmas - Danny Rayburn x Reader (Bloodline)

Holiday Fic 5 🎄🎅🎁❄☃

Author’s Note: So you’ve had Sway: The Ten Part Series, Sway: Lust Edition, and now I present to you, Sway: The Holiday Edition. Okay, you knew this song was coming at some point right-!? 😉 Also I got threatened with Divorce if I didn’t use it, so, there’s that! Actually it changed hands, but I’m happy with it being Danny’s 😊💙

Disclaimer: Lyrics not mine / Bloodline characters not mine / OCs mine!

Premise: When his plans fall through Danny turns up on your doorstep, not wanting him to be alone - you vow to make it the best Christmas he’s ever had...

Words: 3385

Warnings: Drinking

________ I don't want a lot for Christmas There is just one thing I need I don't care about the presents Underneath the Christmas tree I just want you for my own More than you could ever know... Oh, I won't ask for much this Christmas I won't even wish for snow I'm just gonna keep on waiting Underneath the mistletoe 'Cause I just want you here tonight Holding on to me so tight What more can I do? Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you Santa, won't you bring me the one I really need? Won't you please bring my baby to me? Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas This is all I'm asking for I just wanna see my baby Standing right outside my door Make my wish come true Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you

---

It started, as all good things did, back at the restaurant on Christmas Eve closing time. Danny was glad that this year he had decided to close on Christmas Day and give everyone time back with their families that they deserved. And looking at them all now chatting excitedly about it he was happy with his decision. Danny shrugged his coat and scarf on and began ushering them all out of the restaurant. “Why Danny?” Javier smirked, “Got somewhere to be-!?” “Not particularly, but now you mention it...!” Jason laughed, “Are you going to her place? She coming to yours, what’s the deal?” “What did you get her Danny, you old romantic!?” “Nothing...” He placed his hands in his pockets “Nothing-!?” They both looked shocked, which he barely anticipated considering their jokes over Valentine’s Day. So, he presented himself “I am the gift!” They gave each other sideways glances, so Danny explained further “She’s not even expecting me... so I’m going to go over to hers now and hope I make it. I’m 99% sure that she’s supposed to be spending the day with her parents, but won’t go over until tomorrow. But if she decides to go early, I guess I’ll miss her...” “Could go over there?” “Nah, I’m not gonna interrupt that...” Jason and Javi thought that she nor her parents would really care but turned back to further question him regardless; “... So where does she think you’re gonna be!?” “Well I was actually planning to be somewhere but… that’s not worked out, plans change.” They both kept quiet about that one... because it could have meant anything, close family or extended family... or just any other plan. Whatever it was it had fallen through. “Well, we hope she’s there then.” Jason folded his arms. Javi smiled gently, hoping to keep spirits up; “Ah, you know Y/N. She’s to the letter Dan, she’ll still be home...” Danny’s smile didn’t instil a lot of confidence; “Thanks guys! I hope so!” He waved them off, climbing into his car. Danny drove carefully, in both the dark and the cold. It seemed a little ridiculous (to be this bundled up also), but, he’d rather be safe. He knew Miami sometimes had freak weather - that didn’t make it any less irritating. He switched the radio across, but with no luck, every station was playing Christmas tunes (also you’d annoyingly set it to your favourite station, so right now it was blasting your music. Which made him roll his eyes with a smile). At least it was at the right time of year to have a cold snap.

***

The knock on your apartment door came as a surprise, and you weren’t even sure that you weren’t hearing things. Turning back to the bag you were carefully packing to head across to your parents’ house for Christmas Day. It’d probably end up with you staying a few days - so you wanted to be safe, rather than sorry... When the knock came again you realised it could only have been your apartment and walked to your front door. Not even thinking about the who or what - sometimes your neighbours liked to give you cards, or just wish you well - the last person you expected to see standing at your front door was- “Danny!!!?” His black overcoat and chunky knit blue and black striped scarf seemed a little over the top for the weather but, he looked insanely cute. You placed your hands over your mouth, greeted by his smile; “W-What are you doing here-!? I thought you’d have been driving to-?!” He shook his head, “Plans, uh... change... sweetheart. I’m sorry, are you going to your-?” Danny didn’t get a chance to get his words out before you’d leapt on him - winding your arms and legs around his body to let him know there was no way you’d let go. “Babe—!” Your joyous cry was muffled slightly by his layers as you buried your face into his shoulder; “No! No! Please-! Come in!” As you weren’t actually going to let him go - he took a few steps, and shut the door behind him before gently letting you down to the floor. “Are you crying-!?” “Shut it!!” You grabbed him back into a hug, “I’m so happy!!!” “Well if it had all come together, then-!” “Then at least I would have known you’d be with someone that cared...” He made a face to suggest those weren’t the words he would use. But you would stand by that with someone - you just didn’t want Danny to be alone this time of year. And now he certainly wouldn’t be. “You packed light-!” You we’re amused by his bag of things “Well. I would have gone home, but feared maybe I wouldn’t catch you... and I at least know I have things here...” “Feared you wouldn’t catch me?” He gave a shrug, “Maybe you’d go to your parents early.” “You worried I wouldn’t be here?” “Yeah...” “Danny...” You breathed his name gently, heart hurting that he would have to worry about such a thing. “And if you were there, I didn’t want to disturb Christmas with your family...” You sighed, following him up the hall to your bedroom “... They are your family too, you know that right?” “Yeah but...” “They would love to have you, Danny...” “I...” He paused with a soft sigh, “...I just don’t think I’m ready for... that.” You tipped your head, “Well. You better not think you’re going home tomorrow morning.” “I can.” He offered “You are staying!” You grabbed his hands, “Stay... with me.” “What about...?” You shook your head; “They won’t mind, and they’ll understand. Danny, I want to spend Christmas with you - and it breaks my heart to think you might be alone otherwise... Please...Stay...” He leant in and kissed your cheek gently; “...Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” “I’ll stay... but!” Danny grinned; “I’m gonna take a shower- if that’s alright..?” You laughed, stealing another kiss for yourself; “Be my guest-! Drink?” “Uh...” He paused at your bedroom door. “Sure, I’d love one.” “Does it matter if it’s just a shot in Hot Chocolate?” He chuckled; “Ah, now she’s speaking my language.” “I can do Christmas cocktails, but tomorrow might be a better day for it.” “Oh!” He groaned; “Don’t tempt me, it’s gotta be nearly midnight!”

***

By the time he had finished you were watching the TV, huddled up on your couch with your own hot chocolate - you’d made sure to wait until you heard the water shut off to make them, so his would still retain the hot. Danny looked a little more relaxed and comfortable now - and less tired, after what you knew would have been a long and busy shift. You were equally glad he wouldn’t be working tomorrow. He curled up with you, gathering you to him for a moment, his shirt was soft and his body warm and all at once you just wanted to wind yourself around him and fall asleep right there. But Danny cleared his throat, and you knew he was thinking something. If it was another excuse to leave he had another thing coming- “What?” “What, what?” “Babe, you might as well just say it...” “Mmmmm...” Danny’s lips touched the top of your forehead before he let you go and turned to you; “Well. If we stay... what about food…? I mean... I did...” You waited for him to finish that sentence eyebrows raised, “Well, I just thought maybe you could have taken some to your parents, not a big deal I just... I...” “The pros of dating a chef, huh?” He gave a little shrug; “Well I brought some things, sure.” “Then forget about it. We’re staying here. You and me.” “But-! Y/N, surely they-!” You pushed a finger to his lips, “This is all I want this Christmas... this is all I need this Christmas.” His eyes searched your face, confused, “What?” “You.” Danny opened his mouth and seemed to feel every emotion at once, by the way his eyes at first widened then narrowed, then spiked tears; “Y....Y/N.... Y/N....” “Danny? Sweetheart don’t... don’t cry-!” But he threw his arms around you, pulling your body into his. “I— I—!” “Shhh... honey...” you rubbed his back in soothing circles, “...Baby, it’s okay... you’re home, you’re safe... you have me now... and you’re all I want...” “Thank you...” it was quiet, mumbled into your shoulder, where he stifled his tears, you ran your fingers into his hair; “You don’t need to thank me! Danny, you are the most important thing to me... you and your happiness...” you pulled back from him to placed your forehead to his, hands still tangled in his curls; “...That matters more than anything. Never forget how much you deserve this. How much you deserve love... real love. Baby, stay here with me, tonight and tomorrow...” you gave him a reassuring smile; “and I promise to make this the best Christmas for either of us...”

By the time Danny had finished his hot chocolate you had drifted off to sleep snuggled into him. He smiled in complete adoration, running a hand through your hair, lifting you gently from the sofa he placed the cups in the sink and carried you to bed. Which is where you found yourself waking up on Christmas morning, with his arms around you.

You hummed in content, and wound your arms around his. Danny wrapped his arms around you tighter - snuggling into you with a sleepy hum of content. Clearly neither of you wanted to leave the warmth of your bed, or each other, yet. “Mornin’...” It was mumbled and sleepy, and did nothing but cause you to smile, tangling yourself with him. “Mornin’... Happy Christmas...” “Ah, yeah...! Thought this day was something special...” He chucked against the back of your neck, kissing you softly; “I’m not ready to call it Christmas until I wake up, though...” “Call it when you want, that’s still what it is...!!” “Mmmm...” He was obviously too tired for real banter at this time in the morning, which was fine with you, and you both got as close as possible to one another before drifting off again. Danny deserved to stay in bed as long as he desired, you wanted him to savour his day off from the restaurant by relaxing as much as he possibly could; goodness knows he needed it. Although, by the sounds of it he would already be cooking dinner for you both. But if it was just for you, you figured it would hopefully be less of a chore for him than catering to a whole restaurant! *** When Danny woke again he was alone, and he knew you’d left him to rest. He stretched, shifting his body to squint at the weather outside. Clear - and the sun was shining. He wondered if the cold snap was over yet, but guessed he would figure that out with his first cigarette of the day. It wasn’t like he was planning to go anywhere. He wandered out into the kitchen, where you were busy with breakfast.

“Good morning...!” You turned with a smile, of course you’d heard him get up and we’re glad that he had decided to sleep in - rather than follow you down here straight away. “Mornin’...” he mumbled, stretching again and leaning over your breakfast bar to watch you, “What are you doing...!?” Not that he didn’t appreciate it, of course he did, but of the two of you he knew who should be cooking today. “Let me handle that...!” “Uh! No! I’m making you breakfast today!” “Why?!” “Because it’s Christmas Day and you deserve it - annnnd it sounds like you have dinner covered...” “Yeah but babe, you don’t have to cook for me...” “I’d hardly call it cooking!” Danny propped himself up on his hands with a smile, “Certainly cooking,” he leant forward, “and for me? Darlin’!!” “You’re not gonna cry again are you?” Although that was meant to be less of a jab at him than it came out, and you winced in apology. “Ah! But these will be happy tears!” He grinned, “What are you making?” “Nothing particularly special, just a Christmas tradition in my house! I have the same breakfast every Christmas Day... and pretty much only on Christmas Day...” you turned back to Danny, happy you got the opportunity to say to him what he usually said to you, “Sit.” “Mmm...” He stood straight and moved around the kitchen to kiss you on the cheek, “...give me a few seconds...” he rubbed your shoulders affectionately, before unpocketing his lighter and cigarette packet. “Ooh! You’re brave.” “I was hoping it’d clear up... I’ll report back...”

You were basically finished by the time he got back in and waited patiently for him - “What’s the verdict!?” “Aha!!!” His laugh was a little strained, “Don’t bother! I think it’s gonna warm up though - not bad, still chilly!” “Well,” you laughed, holding your arms out for him, “Come here and warm up!”

You called John, Nolan and your parents to give them your Holiday well wishes (With Nolan insisting he’d make his way over later, which cheered Danny up no end), but apart from that remained on your couch cuddled up with him watching movies. “...You sure you don’t wanna do anything?” Though driving anywhere would be completely out of the question with how strong you apparently thought mixers had to be, and even Danny had to slow his alcohol consumption. “Mmhmm... all I wanna be is with you, here... but if you wanna...” You indicated to the window, pouring yourself another glass. Because Danny had already insisted on stopping your flow of unmeasured mixing and claiming that ‘that looks about a shot!’, he’d pulled you away and made mulled wine instead. (Didn’t help the alcohol consumption one bit but you understood his sentiment). He turned to the window, sun now levelling the temperature off. But he understood what you were saying. You’d be content doing anything, so long as it was with him. “No...” Danny looked back to you; “Being here with you is better than I could have hoped for... so I guess that’s all I want...too.” *** Eventually he thought that deciding to make dinner was a good plan - although technically most of it was already made. He wasn’t averse to reheating, and he’d brought a good bottle of wine and fresh ingredients that wouldn’t keep either. So, you got to stand and watch Danny do what he did best. And soon your apartment was filled with the sounds and smells of his cooking. And you were one to stick on the Christmas tunes at this point. That only made him laugh, and pretty soon you were both singing along. You stood by to help him in any way you could, and Danny let you do simple things - but it was as much about watching him cook at it was anything else. Danny had a way of being able to pay attention to several dishes at once and not get side-tracked. And it was fascinating to watch him create all of this in your kitchen. The one that had barely been used before he’d come into your life. And Danny could go through your cupboards now and be extremely pleased that you had everything that he needed. For once.

He would have made you sit down to serve up, but you were way too curious as to what he’d brought from the restaurant menu and what he’d just simply been able to make. “Is that Mac and Cheese!?” He opened his mouth in horror, smacking the back of your hand with a serving spoon, “That is lobster truffle Mac and Cheese - don’t you start complaining!” Although you were clearly impressed, you couldn’t help the smirk; “So, it’s not out of an instant hot water packet from Kraft?” “Well I know that’s what you’re used to!” You refuted that and folded your arms with a pout; “Why is Mac and Cheese on your Christmas menu!?” “Y/N!! I can take my culinary skills elsewhere-!” You gasped, no matter how much of a joke that was; “Nooo!!” “Well then! Shut up until you’ve tried it!” “Wait truffles like... those strange little black things?” He laughed “Not exactly, you get to call it that if it has truffle oil in it.” “What-!?” Danny placed a hand to his forehead, trying not to look exasperated, “Oh geez... you’ve come a long way darlin’, but you’ve got a ways to go..!!” Your expression was still blank, “Look it just tastes good okay, don’t worry about it - a very in thing, and pretty versatile... I’ll get you some...” “Only if I like it.” He rolled his eyes, there was always that. “… A lot of Chefs don’t like it because 99% of the time it’s synthetic... but this!” He clicked his fingers and pointed at it, “It’s the real deal. There are truffles in that oil. A lot of chefs also aren’t keen on the taste, but if it’s done right the taste should mix well with everything else. AND I also get to splash truffle across my menu and be pretentious.” Danny folded his arms, “Like they do in restaurants where they pretend they’re feeding you, when what they put on your plate is “art” that costs more than one entire meal at my place. And usually isn’t that good. Not that I’m opinionated!” You raised your eyebrows, “Not that you’re opinionated.” “What a waste of time and money! Just eat a decent meal!” He shook his head, “That’s all your end of society though, ain’t it.” “My end!?” You mused, “I mean, yeah, I guess I’ve been places like that but I figured I was grounded...” “Yeah well...” He smiled gently, leaning across the table to catch your lips “You got a family that raised you right.” “And I have you.” He chuckled, looking away from you for a minute and biting his lip; “... And you have me...”

With the assortment of dishes, this by no means was a traditional Christmas meal – but that didn’t make you enjoy it any less. In fact perhaps you enjoyed it more because it was so different. With Danny trying to point out to you why everything was Christmas-y and therefore on his restaurant menu. As well as adhoc dishes. That didn’t mean he didn’t have traditional accompaniments. But eventually you had to get him to stop trying to explain everything. Because it didn’t matter to you. And as expected, the bottle of wine he placed on the table was perfect for the flavours. Although you also noticed he stopped drinking; “You okay?” Danny placed his hand to his forehead; “I’m gonna get a headache…” “…Oh! Maybe I should have been a little more merciful on the measures…” He laughed, that was okay, but he was thinking mixing too much wasn’t being kind on him. And driving on it certainly wasn’t an option. Danny looked to you with a sweet, nearly convincingly innocent smile; “Well, I should probably ask you if it’s okay for me to also stay tonight.” You giggled “I suppose that saves me asking you…” He held his hand out to ask for yours, and you gladly let him take it. Keeping his eyes intently on you for the rest of the meal, as Danny usually did when you ate together, and he realised how much he was smiling – but didn’t want to stop that either. Eventually he put his fork down and shifted his chair, one movement, to wind his arms around you, and rest his head on your shoulder. At first you couldn’t quite hear whatever he was mumbling, but you realised quickly that they were gentle sweet nothings and you placed your own cutlery down to return his cuddles. You sifted your hands through his hair, kissing his temple and his forehead and resting against him. It was a calm moment, what he needed, what you both needed this Christmas. You held onto him tighter, senses heightening to the feel of him against you. Yes, you both needed this.

--- @waytoplantann - Holiday Danny 2! 😘

@dennismitchell @happyskywhale @wltz-bby #MendoTagSquad.

#Danny Rayburn #Danny Rayburn x Reader #Bloodline #Ben Mendelsohn #98 #Liliana #I LOVE this song #and I LOVE this man #Perfect fit!#I also just really love adding to this story...#holiday fic #Linzi Writes #I don't have any clever tags #but thank you for reading <3 #Happy Holidays everyone!

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k-popscenxrios · 6 years ago

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Didn’t Ask For This Pt 8 (Roommate!JK x OC)

A/N: I’m back! I was busy this weekend with work, and when I wasn’t busy, I was spending time with my husband. I finally have some time to get back to writing, so I thought I’d drop this post! Hope this part was worth the wait! *blasts Got7′s eclipse in my ears because <3*

Summary: “I didn’t know you hated me so much,” he spoke as he grabbed my wrist and once again turned me around to face him, “and quite honestly, I don’t think I’ve done anything horrible enough for you to hate me to the degree that you do.” “You say that like the hate isn’t mutual,” I remarked as he shook his head. There was a bitter smile on his face as he took a deep breath, “I think you are quite honestly one of the worst human beings I’ve had to come in contact with.”

5.1k words | drama ✞ | fluff ♡ | slight mature themes ✗

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | Finale

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

Yoongi eyed me very carefully when I started walking toward the back room. I glanced his way, only to look away out of embarrassment. I was terrified that he was going to read me like a book if I didn’t get my act together.

I opened the door to the back room as Yoongi walked in the room at the same time from the concession stand. I sent a smile his way as he slightly narrowed his eyes.

“Where’s your broom and dustpan?” he asked as my eyes widened. I completely forgot about them!

“U-Uh,” I spoke as I internally cringed. So much for not seeming suspicious… “I forgot them by the door to the dumpster because I had to take some trash out.”

Yoongi continued to eye me for a few seconds as I looked away and walked over to the computer to clock out. I felt his eyes stay on mine the entire time as I felt increasingly nervous.

“Have you clocked out already?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Yeah,” He nodded before walking toward me, “So… What are you going to do when you get home?”

My face drained as I looked over at Yoongi, “Wh-what do you mean?” Was he onto me?

Yoongi just raised an eyebrow at me as I felt my embarrassment swallowing me whole, “With Taehyung? Are you going to tell him?”

“Tell him what?” He knew! How did he know?! Did he see us and just isn’t admitting it?

“About knowing about Soomin,” Yoongi spoke slowly as I looked away from him and sighed. I was being so incredibly obvious and it was killing me. My emotions were all over the place as I grabbed my bag, pulling my hair out of it’s ponytail so that I had somewhere to hide my embarrassment.

I almost completely forgot that even happened earlier…

“I-I’m not sure… Jungkook asked me not to tell because he wasn’t supposed to be the person to tell me, but I don’t know whether I’m going to listen to him or not.” I felt myself calming down as the two of us made our way out of the back room, “However, I don’t think it’d be smart to bring this up to Taehyung right now… he’s pretty mad at Jungkook, and this would just make everything worse.”

Yoongi stayed quiet for a couple seconds as I felt my nerves get the best of me. He glanced over at me before he took a deep breath, “So are you going to tell me?”

My eyes widened for a second before I could stop myself from looking so guilty. Just play dumb! “Tell you what?”

“What happened between you and Jungkook just now?”

My face heated up as I gripped one of the straps on my small backpack, “I haven’t seen Jungkook all day. Nothing happened.”

As if on cue, Jungkook walked out of one of the theaters that we were walking past as I stiffened. Jungkook was a much better actor than I could ever hope to be as he just smiled at the two of us and waved us off with a ‘bye’.

Yoongi waved back as I continued to look at Jungkook, feeling so pathetic as I moved further from him. I was only a little addicted to him right now, and it was definitely not because anything happened between us or anything…

“Okay, what the hell happened between you two?” Yoongi mumbled under his breath after we passed by Jungkook.

“I don’t know why you think something happened. I haven’t really seen him since he got here and we were initially fighting.” I spoke, feeling my confidence slowly coming back. I was relieved to not be in a constant state of embarrassment.

“Then explain why he had two brooms and dustpans.”

I opened my mouth to respond, only to curse under my breath. Yoongi seemed to catch my mumbling, because he stood closer to me and started getting even more pushy.

“So did you two make out?”

My eyes widened at Yoongi as I felt myself growing flustered again, “Wh-what’d you just say?”

“I said did you two make up?” Yoongi repeated with raised eyebrows as I closed my eyes in relief. My overactive brain was making me hear things… I couldn’t wait for this feeling to go away. I don’t know why I was such a bumbling idiot after Jungkook and I…

My face heated up once again as I thought back to what had happened just a few minutes ago… I wanted to believe that I was only this flustered because it was not just my second kiss, but my first time making out…

And it was also the first time that I’d ever felt that… aroused by someone. It was so embarrassing! I wanted to crawl up in a hole and die thinking back at what I had done and how desperate I seemed for him.

As if I wasn’t flustered enough, my brain decided to take this time to remind myself of what Taehyung had made me promise to him the other night…

“Ari?” Yoongi spoke as I jumped and started nodding.

“Oh! Uh- yeah. We talked it out and now we hate each other a little less,” I responded as Yoongi took a deep breath. I could tell that something was still bothering him about this situation, but he didn’t voice any of it, this I was grateful for.

“That’s good,” he nodded, and he seemed to be ending that conversation there, much to my delight. The rest of our walk to our cars was very silent, and I was relieved to say the least.

“Well,” I sighed and stopped walking when I got to my car, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow? You’re cleaning with me, right?”

Yoongi nodded and sent me a soft smile as he started backing away to his car. “Be prepared, because it’s us two and Jungkook.” He had a slightly teasing smile on his face as he said that, only for it to turn into a slightly worried look, “I should probably be saying that to myself, not you.”

“We’ll be okay,” I laughed as I moved closer to my car, “Bye Yoongi!”

He waved at me as I got into my car, “Bye.”

Taehyung and I spent the rest of the afternoon and a good portion of the evening watching sitcoms on Netflix, and we had decided to order pizza to eat during our marathon. It was nice spending time with him like this. I wasn’t used to being able to just hang around with him like we did before he went off to college.

I couldn’t help but think about the situation with Soomin every once in a while when I would look his way, but I wasn’t going to say anything to him. He obviously wasn’t ready for me to know yet, and I wasn’t ready to bring it up.

It made me wonder if this is what he was so worried about the other night when Jungkook made a big deal over my spaghetti not being to his standards.

“Jungkook should be home soon,” Taehyung mentioned as I looked at the clock. Wow, time flew by today. It felt like I just came home from work a couple minutes ago, “Is there anything you wanted to do before he comes in to ruin the mood?”

I slightly giggled and rolled my eyes, “Jungkook ruining the relaxed and fun mood? You know him so well.”

Taehyung smiled and leaned on my shoulder as I scrolled through the episodes of the show we’d been bingeing. I took a deep breath as my brain continued to think back on the thought that Jungkook was going to be here within the next 20 minutes… I could only hope that I could keep my cool in front of Taehyung when he gets here. I had no idea what to expect after everything that had happened. Was he going to pretend it never happened?

How would that make me feel if he did?

“I just wanna keep watching this if you’re fine with that,” I shrugged as Taehyung looked up at me. He slightly sat up before looking at his phone, only to look back up at the TV.

“He might come in at the end of the episode,” Taehyung spoke as I rolled my eyes.

“So? He can wait for us to finish the episode. He’s not a child.” I spoke. Taehyung gave me a look as I couldn’t resist laughing, “He’s not that much of a child.

“That’s more accurate,” Taehyung winked as I continued laughing softly.

I took a deep breath and slightly sat up as some nerves bubbled in my stomach, “Are you two okay now? I know that things were strained for a little bit…”

Taehyung nodded and sent me a genuine smile, “He and I talked a good bit the other day. He reassured me of things that I was irrationally afraid of happening.”

I felt my interest peak as Taehyung saw my question coming from a mile away. He began answering it before I even had the chance to ask.

“He mainly told me that I had nothing to worry about between the two of you.”

I felt myself begin choking on my own saliva at that comment, and I felt my eyes grow wide and my face flush red. Jungkook actually said that? He said that and then proceeded to pull his little stunt today?

...It made me wonder if he was planning on us hooking up and just never telling Taehyung. If that was the extent of what our relationship was to him, I think I would vomit from what we just did today.

“Well that’s good,” I spoke, hoping and praying that he didn’t notice my very slight change in pitch, “Do you wanna keep talking or can I start the episode?”

“Just start the episode,” Taehyung nodded before he leaned in and gave me a soft side hug, “I love you, Ari. I just want what’s best for you.”

“I love you, too,” I slightly hugged back, but I felt unsettled. I wonder how Taehyung would feel if he ever found out what Jungkook and I did…

…

The moment that Jungkook walked in the door, my eyes met his tired ones. I didn’t know whether to smile at him when I saw him or not, but just the look in his eyes made me slightly nervous.

I turned over to look at Taehyung, only to notice that he had actually fallen asleep in just the past few minutes. When I thought about it, he was probably exhausted because he went in to work at 6 this morning.

“Hey,” I whispered as he glanced over at Taehyung. I started to get up very slowly to try and not wake Taehyung up. Jungkook just sighed and walked out of the room and into his. I furrowed my eyebrows and moved toward his room, feeling slightly anxious. These next few moments had a lot riding on their shoulders.

“Jungkook,” I called as I turned and glanced in his room. He had already thrown off his work shirt and was standing in the corner of his room looking through his piles of clothes for a shirt.

I tried to not stare at him but he made it so… hard. He looked very fit for someone that eats all the junk that he does, and his body was… really nice to look at.

Jungkook finally found another shirt to slip on as I felt myself sigh in relief. I was not going to be okay if Jungkook had decided to walk around without a shirt on.

“Jungkook,” I softly spoke as I leaned against the door frame. He spun around and looked at me for a couple seconds before looking away.

“Unless you wanna see me strip to my underwear in three seconds, I’d suggest you turn around while I change,” Jungkook spoke, his tone completely innocent.

I felt my face flush at his words as I almost turned into a stumbling mess, embarrassment written all over my face. I was just relieved that he didn’t say that a different way…

I spun around and allowed time for him to finish changing as I took a few deep breaths. The suspense was killing me, and he was so hard for me to read most of the time… I didn’t have the slightest clue on what he was feeling right now.

I heard the sound of little sprays of something, and I felt my nerves spike at what I realized it probably was. It didn’t take long to confirm my suspicions when I felt Jungkook’s arms snake around me from behind. He pulled me back into his room to get away from to doorway, but he left the door wide open.

“Hey,” he whispered into my hair as I took a deep breath. I leaned back into him as I smiled at his heavenly scent. How could anyone resist a man that smells like this?

“Hey,” I responded after recovering from Jungkook’s sudden attack on my senses. “So about today-”

I stopped talking when Jungkook spun me around to look me in the eyes. I lost my train of thought as my eyes locked onto his dark brown ones. We stood there in silence for several seconds just staring at each other.

“You didn’t tell Taehyung anything, right?” he asked as I remembered what Taehyung had told me not too long ago.

“Of course not. If I had, he wouldn’t have been able to sleep tonight,” I whispered, a little paranoid that he had woken up and neither of us knew since we were in a different room. “You, however, have some explaining to do.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow as I crossed my arms across my chest. His arms didn’t move from around my waist as I swallowed, clearing my throat to continue.

“You told him that there was nothing to worry about between the two of us,” I spoke as Jungkook’s gaze averted from mine, “Do you care explaining why you said that?”

“Well what was I going to say?” Jungkook spoke in a harsh whisper, “I was not about to tell him anything that he didn’t want to hear. Besides, Taehyung doesn’t have to know.”

“You don’t think that he wouldn’t notice that we’re different around each other?” I asked as Jungkook shook his head.

“Not if we bicker like usual,” he started running his hands up and down my sides as his eyes flicked down to my lips, “Now can we stop talking about your brother? It’s a real turn off…”

I felt my face heat up as I grabbed his hands and pulled them off of me, “Jungkook, we can’t do anything otherwise Taehyung would find out.” I meant what I said, but the embarrassment over what he said wouldn’t go away. I was not ready for that, and I’m scared that I’ll end up doing something I regret if I’m not careful.

“C’mon,” Jungkook moved his arms back around my waist, “Just a little bit…”

His lips pressed against mine as butterflies fluttered all in my stomach, my heartbeat increasing from both pleasure and fear. I leaned into him slightly as Jungkook tilted his head to the side, pressing his lips to mine with so much force that I almost had to bend backwards again.

I tried to pull away from him, but Jungkook caught my lips again and his teeth softly bit down on my bottom lip as I tried my hardest to resist him.

“J-Jungkook,” I spoke as he slightly groaned and pulled away, “What’s gotten into you, anyway? Why are you all of the sudden so… clingy?”

He looked away from me and swallowed, pulling away from me when we heard faint shuffling in the living room. I started to get really paranoid as I backed out of Jungkook’s room and walked down the hallway into the living room.

I slightly jumped when I saw Taehyung standing up and stretching with a yawn coming out of his mouth. He spotted me only seconds later as he sent me a lazy smile.

“I guess I fell asleep,” he chuckled as I nodded. I was hoping and praying that he didn’t see any kind of blush on my face, “I guess I should head to bed, huh?”

I nodded and just watched as Taehyung walked past me and into his room. He glanced in Jungkook’s room for a second before he glanced back over at me down the hallway.

“Goodnight guys,” he said before he slowly pulled his door closed. I continued to stand in the same spot for several seconds, making sure that Taehyung wasn’t going to walk right back out of his room.

Jungkook poked his head out of the room and his eyes met mine quickly. I stayed rooted to my spot as he slightly smiled.

“Are you just going to stand there like that?” he asked as I felt my face turn red. He moved into the hallway with me as I felt my nerves grow.

Jungkook moved his arms around me once more as I took a deep breath and swallowed. I put my hands on his and moved his hands from around me.

“For one, not in this hallway for sure,” I spoke in a low voice as Jungkook watched me intently, “and two, what is this? What is going on here?”

“Do you want to move to your room to talk about this?” he asked quietly as I just nodded and started making my way into my room. Once we both got in, Jungkook closed the door behind him and took a deep breath.

“I really like you, Ari,” he spoke in a soft voice as I turned around to face him, “I wasn’t originally going to tell you since Taehyung is my best friend and you’re his little sister… but I just…”

He moved closer to me as I felt shivers run down my spine, “It was driving me crazy every time you were serious when arguing with me. Most of the time it was over that stupid drama with your friend, and I couldn’t stand the fact that you hated me so much because of something that I found completely justified.”

I didn’t know what to say to that as Jungkook wrapped his arms around me for the nth time tonight, “God, do I love arguing with you, but fighting? Fighting with you was the worst.”

I swallowed and looked down in embarrassment, “Since when did you become so… cliche?” I asked as Jungkook laughed and placed a small kiss on my forehead. I had to say, clingy Jungkook was the best Jungkook…

“I’m a jerk, or as you like to call me, an ass,” he laughed into my hair as I laid my head on his shoulder, “But when it comes to relationships, I’m 100% devoted and faithful.”

“You?” I asked, ignoring the fact that he had pretty much confirmed that he wanted us to be in a relationship. “Mr. ‘I only sleep with girls that have no interest in dating’ is faithful and devoted?”

“When will you get it through your thick skull that I haven’t really been like that recently? The last time I slept around was the summer after my second year of college. It’s been a while.”

“A year,” I slightly pulled away for him, “One year isn’t as long as you’re making it sound.”

Jungkook sighed and rolled his eyes, “The point is, I don’t do that anymore. That life is not nearly as great as they make it seem in movies and books.”

“What kind of books are you reading?” I laughed as Jungkook slightly narrowed his eyes at me.

“Don’t pretend like you’ve never read Erotica,” Jungkook spoke in a soft, low voice that sent shivers down my spine. I was about to deny his claims when he cut me off, “you left your laptop open to a very… erotic story the other day. Pretty sure it was Fanfiction, too. Be glad that I’m the one to have found it and not Taehyung.”

My eyes widened as my all my blood ran up to my face. It was burning so hot that you could have cooked pancakes on them. I buried my head in his shoulder in embarrassment, and he just chuckled, squeezing my waist lightly.

“Teasing aside,” Jungkook took a deep breath and pulled my head up with his hand on my chin so that I looked at him, “While I would love to call it a day and claim you as my girlfriend, Taehyung is in the way of that…”

I took a deep breath and nodded, my nerves coming back at the thought of him finding out about any of this. I was terrified of what he would do to Jungkook, especially since Jungkook promised him multiple times that nothing will happen between us.

“Oh great,” Jungkook mumbled as he looked up at the ceiling, “What about Jung? Didn’t he ask you out on another date?”

I looked away from Jungkook at his question, silently cursing myself for lying about that. The truth was that Hoseok never actually texted me, and I feel like he just told Taehyung that he would text me just out of courtesy.

“Er,” I started as Jungkook raised a brow, “He, uh… He never actually texted me. I lied about that…”

Jungkook stayed silent for a few seconds, and I was surprised when a smirk appeared on his face. He leaned in closer to me so that his lips were right in front of mine, and I leaned my nose into his.

“Did you do that to make me jealous or what?” he growled as shivers ran down my spine. I moved my hands to rest on his chest as his eyes pierced into mine.

“You didn’t seem very effected last night when I said it,” I spoke in a soft and weak voice. Jungkook’s eyes were turning me into mush just looking at him, despite the intensity in them.

“Trust me,” he spoke against my lips as a shiver ran down my spine, “I just hide things well.”

He pressed his lips against mine in a surprisingly soft kiss as I gripped at his shirt much like earlier today, pulling him further into me. My heart fluttered at just how soft the kiss was, so when I felt him shoving me backward, I nearly lost my balance.

We crashed into the wall as Jungkook’s lips left mine to trail open mouth kisses down my neck. I felt him suck a little on my skin as I felt slight panic rise in my throat. I tried to say something to him about needing to be careful, but when I opened my mouth, all that came out was a small moan.

“Don’t worry,” he spoke into my neck, seemingly having read my mind, “I’m being careful.”

I moved my hands to his shoulders and lightly squeezed them as Jungkook began giving my collarbone some open mouth kisses. I shivered under his touch as my hands moved from his shoulders and landed in his hair once again.

“God, you smell amazing,” I sighed as Jungkook chuckled against my skin. He trailed the kisses back up as my eyes locked onto his once more. I could see his eyes darkening from desire, and that was all it took for me to get a little too nervous. I wasn’t ready for that, and I certainly wasn’t about to have Taehyung be in the next room when it happened…

“O-Okay, we should call it a night,” I spoke as Jungkook’s hand started trailing down my body. Jungkook just smiled at my sheepish voice, and he complied by moving his hand to hold mine.

“I just want to make this clear,” Jungkook softly spoke, pulling slightly away from me, “Do you want to me my girlfriend?”

I swallowed and moved my hand to hold his scarred cheek, “I do…”

“Then promise me that you won’t let Taehyung know. You can tell Chaeyoung and Yoongi as long as they understand that Taehyung is to stay in the dark,” he took a deep breath and held my hand that was holding his face.

“But then when will we tell Taehyung?” I asked under my breath as Jungkook slightly grimaced.

“Never?”

I felt my stomach painfully twist at his words as I searched his eyes, “What do you mean ‘never’?”

Jungkook seemed to slightly panic for saying something that obviously made me upset. He couldn’t seem to figure it out as he tried to make a recovery

“I mean, once the summer is over and we go back to our separate colleges, everything will be back to normal.” he spoke, but my expression didn’t change. Boys are… stupid.

“Got it,” I swallowed and pulled away from him. I opened my door and walked out of my own room, looking for a water that I could drink. I needed to calm down. I was not about to have a meltdown… I was going to have a reasonable conversation with Jungkook because we’ve been very reasonable with each other the past couple hours.

“Ari,” Jungkook called out as he grabbed my arm. I pulled my arm from his and grabbed a water bottle, chugging the whole thing fairly quickly. “Ari, what-”

“I’m sorry, there was a misunderstanding,” I shook my head and took a few deep breaths, “I’m not the kind of person who does flings. I don’t like getting in a relationship that I know will inevitably end.”

“Well what did you expect?” Jungkook’s voice got a little higher as I could sense him getting upset, “I have to go back to college when summer is over, you know.”

“I’m just not into the idea of this. Just because you haven’t had sex in the past week doesn’t mean that you can be literally the sweetest human being for a couple hours just so that I’ll agree to be your summer fuck-buddy.” I swallowed, trying not to raise my voice. It was just so… hard. He was so oblivious!

“You think I’m in it just because I haven’t had sex since I came home?” Jungkook narrowed his eyes and I nodded and crossed my arms across my chest.

“You’ve mentioned multiple times that you can’t bring girls back here because Taehyung and I also live here. How convenient for you that you now have feelings for me so that you wouldn’t have to bring any girl home, there would already be a girl at home waiting for you.”

I spun around and rushed off to my room, but Jungkook wasn’t done.

“You think this is all because of convenience?” he laughed in disbelief, “You know what? Maybe it was! Maybe I’m just blinded by my dick because I actually thought that you were tolerable for a little while. I obviously forgot what you were actually like.”

“God you’re such an asshole,” I glared. I didn’t even have any tears to shed because I was just beyond pissed. “Here I was thinking that your feelings went past a fling.”

“You thought wrong,” he glared back, “thank you for reminding me of how bitchy you are. I hope you enjoyed our last couple hours because that’s the most male contact you’re going to get for the rest of your life.”

I felt myself huffing as I glared at the man in front of me. Was this a nightmare, or was earlier just a dream? I felt my heart breaking as I clenched my fists as hard as I could manage. I felt my nails tear into my skin as I bit my lip and found the strength to turn around and walk back into my room.

“I hope you like your stay here for this last night,” I spoke as I turned around, “because I’m going to tell Taehyung everything that just happened. I hope you have a backup plan.”

A tear slipped out of my eye without warning, but Jungkook didn’t seem to notice.

“Y-You wouldn’t,” Jungkook’s angry exterior crumbled as I narrowed my eyes. “You won’t.”

“Try me,” I spat, “You’ve hurt me enough, and I’m not about to let you stay here and try and seduce me with your stupid cologne and your empty words. I’ve never felt so… used. You know what, Jungkook? You’re still the exact same person that you were in high school, except now you’re worse since you let girls get their hopes up of an actual future. When you sleep around, they at least know your intentions.”

Jungkook stayed quiet as I gripped the door to my room. He seemed to be trying to figure out what to say, but he was taking forever. I started to close to door, but I stopped short when he spoke up.

“If you try and tell Taehyung everything that just happened, I’ll just deny it all. We’ll see who we believes.”

“He’s pissed at you right now.”

“He knows how dramatic you are, plus I’ve sworn to him that I wouldn’t touch you. He won’t believe you.”

“Do you understand how disgusting that makes you sound?” I glared as I opened my door again, “You still tried to make advances on me, despite constantly telling Taehyung otherwise.”

“It’s because I must have lost my common sense after telling him I wouldn’t touch you. God, I nearly forgot how bitchy you are! I dodged a bullet there because the last thing I want is having some clingy girl being upset over me being gone at college.”

I bit down on my lips as I pursed them, and I quickly slammed the door closed. I ran over to my bed and sat on it in a fetal position. I felt my body burning in every place that he had touched me, and I felt… disgusting.

I shook as I let tears spill out of my eyes. I was getting sick of crying over Jungkook or some hurtful thing he said or did. I felt my heart being torn into pieces the more I thought about everything… All of that was just so that I would sleep with him?

I dug my nails into my legs and I squeezed them closed. I almost considered letting that man take my virginity…

I shivered and looked at the time. I might as well get used to the feeling that I’m going through, because there was no way that I was falling asleep tonight.

A/N: I’m sorry but JK is an idiot. Unfortunately due to his stupidity, everything can’t stay happy for too long. I hope you enjoyed! *Continues to blast Got7′s eclipse in my ears*

⇨ Masterlist ⇦

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #kim taehyung #taehyung #taehyung fanfic #jungkook smut #bts #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts fanfics #bangtan #bangtan fanfic #yoongi #yoongi fanfic #min yoongi #suga #suga fanfic

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hoseokmylovesworld · 5 years ago

Text

Picture of Love | 14 (M)

Pairing: Photographer!Hoseok x OC x Producer!Yoongi

Genre/Warnings: Hoseok AU/Yoongi AU/Includes strong language, anxiety attacks, violence, mentions of death, fluff, smut, dirty talk, rough sex, deep throating, choking, oral and vaginal sex.

Words: 9,464

Summary: Charlotte Galloway is the leader of the up and coming girl band, “She-Bang”, with a side hustle as a photographer for anyone who will hire her. She meets a fellow professional photographer named Jung Hoseok who helps “She-Bang” realize their dreams and Charlotte to make a love connection along the way.

A/N: This is the longest one yet, but please read to the end, it’s a doosey

“Leyah this is serious, come on.” I chide, yanking her back from flicking the blinds with her fingers in the empty apartment. After browsing the internet and newspaper idly for more adequate living situations for the last few weeks, the girls and I finally decided to actually take a look at some of them.

“I was just checking if the blinds were up to par...they’re not.” She flicks them again and they shake wildly, proving her accusation.

“We can always replace the blinds Leyah, what do you think about this place?”

“I think it’s way too small.” she responded curtly, looking up and around in an unsatisfactory way.

I sigh in defeat. “It’s one of the only ones we can afford so it’s gotta count as a definite maybe right now.” Leyah just hums and rolls her eyes.

The apartment we were viewing was much like the others we looked at this week. Two bedrooms, a small kitchen and a small living area. Everything was just small and as much a we needed a space to accommodate all of us and our belongings, we all made the same living and it just wasn’t enough.

“Well, maybe if you asked your loaded boyfriend nicely, he might pitch in.” Leyah muttered with her hand against her cheek as if she were telling me a secret. I slap her arm quickly.

“That’s not funny, Leyah. I wouldn’t ask him to do that, we’re not even like...together, together yet.” Leyah whips her head around to face me with a shocked expression.

“Are you serious? You guys haven’t talked about making it official yet? It’s been like...over two months.” Leyah’s eyes went out of focus as she did the math in her head.

“No, we talked about it.” I share as she follows me to check out the master bedroom once again. “He didn’t really understand why I didn’t want to be called his ‘girlfriend’, it sounds really selfish now that I’m telling this to someone else, but he understood. Like he does everything. We agreed to just be together without any actual labels. It’s like our own little ‘official’.” I shrugged, thinking back to that awkward conversation.

My breakdown in his kitchen, prompted many questions about our relationship from Hoseok that I couldn’t ignore. After going into detail about my strong aversion to the word girlfriend and relationships altogether before I met him, he decided he was content with simply being mine and vice versa.

“Wow, you are officially the luckiest girl alive.” She drawled, looking quite impressed with Hoseok herself. “Thank you, but I’m aware.” I smiled to myself and we moved onto the next apartment on the list.

After hopping all over town from Ocean Avenue to Daly City looking for apartments, Leyah and I crash as soon as we enter the apartment around 7:30 PM. I plop down onto my bed, lazily removing clothing items from where I lay and drifting to sleep easily.

“No, Char! Are you dumb or something?”

“Should you still be eating? Gimme that, you’re gonna get fat.”

“I should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to do it on your own!”

“Why do I even bother? You never do anything right!”

“God! Have you always been this dense?”

“I literally said the opposite. Fucking listen for once!”

“Gak!” I gasped as I was jolted out of my sleep by yet another nightmare. I look up at the ceiling, focusing on it’s squiggly pattern, trying to calm my heaving chest and my racing mind. The room was pitch black in most places, the only light being offered was by the moon in lines of white along the walls. I lie awake, convinced that if I attempt to go back to sleep, I’ll only be able to see his face barking at me for all of my defects and faults.

The sudden need to need to vomit that will never be relieved takes over my gut and the heaving of my chest has increased and as it was constricting tighter and tighter.

Instinctively, my hand flies to cover my mouth when the familiar sting behind my eyes begins. The last thing I want is to wake any of the girls and have them worry about me. I try and try to shake the nasty voices, but the tears keep coming and I can’t find it in myself to be silent any longer as it was getting harder and harder to breathe.

I quietly make my way to the bathroom, shut the door and climb into the tub where I hugged my knees and allowed myself to sob, but somehow still keeping the volume to a minimum.

This had to be the fourth one this week.

It would surprise no one that I am no stranger to nightmares and I that usually handled them better than most people did. That is, if you can call suppressing my own emotions and traumas handling it, then I’m your girl. But this recurring shit storm that I was experiencing was different than any of the nightmares I’ve had previously. The reason being: they were all about my past. And almost all of them were about Yoongi.

Whether the dreams were pleasant or brutal, I was always an emotional mess afterward, feeling empty from reflecting on my past. I would get them often after Yoongi left. That’s when the panic attacks started getting serious. Knowing that I was actually alone in the world with no one to call a friend or even care that I existed unleashed a lot of dark thoughts and I had to learn how to make it on my own for real this time. If I had known opening up to J-Hope was going to send me spiraling back down that dark hole, I would have shut up and ate my pancakes.

But, I can’t put the entire blame on him. He didn’t force me to say those things or revisit the past and as cheesy as it sounds, the nightmares only come when he’s not sleeping next to me. I’ve noticed over the past couple of weeks or so that J-Hope is my personal dream catcher and tonight has solidified the fact that if I didn’t have him by my side as I slept, I was royally fucked.

The pounding in my ears softened and eventually slushed to a holt. The vice grip on my heart faded at a devastatingly slow pace and my breathing evened out as I counted the tiles on the shower wall. I let out a thankful sigh once the room stopped spinning and I was painfully aware of the silence in the room. I let my body fall back and I turned to lie on my side, still letting the tears fall from my eyes silently. I debated calling J-Hope during the aftermath. Hoping my personal ray of sunshine would pull me from my depressed funk as usual.

It’s gotta be at least 3 am, he won’t answer anyway.

He might, we have to try.

And say what? Hi, I’m sad. Drop everything to make me happy?

Obviously not, but he cares, he’ll want to help.

He’ll want to go back to sleep and wish we never called.

Don’t do this. We need it.

It felt like my conscience was wrestling with itself or with me, knocking against my skull in the battle causing a pesky headache. It took all of my strength to peel myself off of the floor of the tub and drag myself back to the room, to the bedside table where my phone was. It was indeed 3:36 AM and the confirmation made me place the phone back on the desk and forget the idea of calling J-Hope entirely.

We need to sleep Char. Come on. My conscience scolded me again.

I wanted to fight back at least for the sake of my pride. I made it a point not to need anyone for anything after that asshole broke my heart and here I am needing someone else to be able to sleep. I felt pathetic in plain terms. But at this point I knew I needed to try.

I take the phone and a room key, sneak into the hall and slide down the nearest wall. I glare at the screen a while longer, hurriedly dialing the number before I could change my mind. After the third ring I moved to hang up and throw away this half-baked plan, but then I heard his beautifully, groggy voice through the phone.

“Charlotte?” he rasped. I gasped slightly, not expecting him to pick up.

“Uh, yeah. Hey.” I spoke brokenly. I didn’t take into account the condition of my throat and voice sounding like I just gargled glass. I sniffle subconsciously.

“What’s going on? Are you alright?” He sounds more awake now, coming to with concern.

“Yeah, I just…” I choked, not knowing what to do or say in this situation. I felt lost. My words were trapped in my throat that seemed to be closing in on itself again as I wipe more fresh tears from my face. “No.” I finally whimper.

“What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

I don’t answer as I am too overcome with emotion, my words being turned into snivels and moans. After a moment he tries to get a response again.

“Charlotte.” He calls out, making sure I’m still there.

“I’m sorry...for calling so late. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“It’s fine, just tell me what’s wrong, baby.” The pet-name sends warmth through my chest and a fractured smile to my face.

“I’m…” How does one tell another ‘I’ve just had a panic attack and I need to sleep next to you’ over the phone? I scour my brain for answers.

“Uh...are you home?” I squeak through the phone.

“Yes, I am.”

“Can I...can I come over? I’m really sorry, but I-I just need to see you.”

“Of course, Charlotte.” I close my eyes and let out a thankful sigh.

“Where are you? I’ll come pick you up.” I could hear movement on his end, probably him getting dressed to get me.

“No! You don’t have to do that. You just woke up, I don’t want you to get into an accident. I’ll just call an uber.”

“It’s ten minutes, Charlotte. I’ll be there in no time-”

“No, please, just stay, I’ll be fine on my own.” I said sternly, not willing to budge this time. He figured as much. There was a beat of silence.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.” I reply automatically.

“You know what, I’ll call it, just so I know you’re safe.” He decided.

I roll my eyes, but smile at the sentiment. “Fine, Jay.”

“Okay, I’ll see you when you get here.”

“Bye.”

I tiptoed back into the hotel room, to change into something more decent, but ready to sleep in and grab my necessities to head down to the lobby. A good amount of my clothes were already at J-Hope’s apartment, some makeup and toiletries as well so I didn’t need to bring much. I began staying over so often that it would be silly not to have my belongings over there. The girls made fun of me for it of course, but for once I didn’t buy into it. I was comfortable with our arrangements.

In no time I was knocking on J-Hope’s apartment door. I could hear faint footsteps before the door swung open in front of me to reveal him. He was shirtless and wore navy blue, checkered pajama bottoms and a comforting smile. I immediately threw my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into the apartment and closing the door behind me. We just stood there for a long while until I separated us. With no words yet to be exchanged, J-Hope led me to his bedroom and basically tucked me in and watched as I got comfortable.

“Do you need anything?” He asked, still standing off to my side of the bed. “Water? Tea?” He added. I look up at him through tired eyes.

“Water sounds great, actually.” I all but croak. All the crying I did took a lot out of me and I realized I needed to rehydrate. He nodded, scampering off to the kitchen.

He made it back in record time, handing me a glass of water after I sat up a bit. He finally got in bed himself and I could feel him watching me. Studying me to see if I would break down again.

“You don’t need to watch me like that you know?” I say glancing up at him, he suddenly looks down when our eyes meet. “Like I’m gonna break at any moment.” I mutter.

“I’m sorry...it’s just when I heard you crying I got worried.” He looks me up and down again while I look at my already empty glass. “Thank you...for worrying. I really didn’t know who else to go to. I’m sorry.”

He grabbed my hand from my lap and squeezed. I looked at his wide eyes.

“Charlotte, you have no idea how glad I am that you came to me. I’m always gonna wanna make sure that you’re alright. Please don’t be afraid to come to me with things like this. You can trust me...Okay?”

I looked up at his deep brown eyes so full of emotion and nodded, believing in every word. I was still very much in shock that he’s not acting like I inconvenienced him or that he didn’t turn me away in the first place.

“Okay. With that being said...Are you alright?” He asked carefully, caressing my hand in his. I think about it and I find myself nodding slowly, once more. “Yeah.” Now that I finally have you next to me, yes.

“Good. What happened?”

“Uh, I had a nightmare.” I admit hesitantly. J-Hope knows about my recent night terrors and most of their contents. No matter how much I wanted to hide it from him, it’s like he has the power to get me to talk about these things. Like a vampire using compulsion. But he doesn’t know that he’s the antidote.

His shoulders drop and he sighs disappointedly. “Again?” I nod. “And then I kind of had a panic attack.”

He makes a pitiful face and clenches his jaw. He motions for me to put the glass down and then to get under the covers. We cuddle up to one another, facing each other and he rubs my back soothingly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I sigh as the familiar words leave his mouth. It always seemed to help to get these things off my chest to J-Hope so I threw myself back into the mess that started this whole ordeal.

“He was yelling at me again...barking more like. All those obnoxious things he used to say whenever I did something wrong...And then I was running. Down this pitch black street that never seemed to end. Until I get to this weird looking building with one white door on it...Y-” I wince as I almost uttered his name.

“He came out and just stood by the door like he was waiting for me or something. And then I turned around to see Maeve behind me...she looked like she was waiting for me too...It was like I had to choose. And I didn’t want to, but...I chose him.” I laugh bitterly before continuing. “It was so real, like a fucking slap in the face...No matter what happened between us or what horrible things he did or said to me, I always went back to him...all while pretending like Maeve never even existed. I turned my back on her, just like I did five years ago.”

“That’s not true.” J-Hope interjected immediately. “I know you feel like what happened to Maeve was your fault, but we both know that it wasn’t. And you were coping with her death in your own way.” I let out another harsh laugh.

“Well, thanks for seeing it that way.” J-Hope suddenly scooched down to my level and tilted my chin up to look him in the eye.

“You don’t know this, but I have made it my personal mission to get you to stop beating yourself up this way and to, instead, make you smile whenever you do. You’re so much better than that. I just wish you saw yourself the way I see you.” He said sincerely. I let the corners of my mouth slide up one at a time at the statement, knowing that, that is literally what he’s been doing and well. My heartbeat increased and small currents of electricity found a home in my fingertips. I had no words and so I settled for a slow, searing kiss to get my message across. “Mission accomplished.” He whispered when we broke the kiss. We giggle and actually settle in for bed, turning off the bedside lamps.

“Night, Charlotte.”

“Night, Hobi.” A few moments of silence passed before I decide I have a confession of my own.

“Hobi.”

“Hm?”

“You don’t know this, but...you’re my dreamcatcher.” I say into the darkness.

He delivers a kiss to my wild hair and I smile once more before drifting off into a glorious, dreamless sleep.

++++++++++++

I opened my eyes lazily, adjusting to the change of scenery. I find a strong sense of comfort in Hoseok’s arms wrapped snugly around me and I nuzzle myself into him further. He does the same, pressing our bodies together firmly and tightening his hold on me. I attempt to fall back to sleep when I feel a soft kiss planted on the back of my neck, signifying that he was awake. He continued to kiss along the side and make his mark on my cheek and jaw causing me to giggle helplessly.

I turn in his arms to face him and kiss his lips hard, both of us smiling into it like maniacs. It’s not long until he tries to get on top of me and caress my body with his strong hands. I allow him to do as he pleases and arch my body into his, inviting him to grind his core into mine.

“I can’t even stretch my limbs before you’re trying to ravage me.” I laugh into his perfect mouth.

“Haha, well I had to try before you left me for the girls.” He goes to plant another kiss to my neck as my eyes widen with adrenaline. I dodge him, turning to look at the alarm clock that read 4:47 PM.

“The girls!” I push him off of me and run to the dresser in record time while Hoseok watches, cluelessly. “I totally forgot, we have a fucking gig today!”

The show today starts at eight o’clock and usually waking up in the evening doesn’t compromise that, but seeing as I only have three hours to shower, dress, beg the girls for forgiveness and travel all the way to a venue in Bodega Bay, I’m beginning to panic slightly.

I race to grab some of my own clothes in his dresser, scamper into the shower and crank up the hot water. When I return I throw on the fullest face of make-up I can manage while moving at lightning speed. I manage to buff out my foundation and concealer, slap some brown and gold eyeshadow on my lid and brush on some mascara while Hoseok finds something and freshens up.

“Uh, I’ll drive you.” He decided in his sleepy stupor.

“Thank you. I’m sorry bout this Jay, I’ll pay you back, I promise.” I peck his cheek on the way out the door. He just laughs, rushing with me to his car in our pajamas. “Don’t worry about it Charlotte, let’s just get you back.”

“Thanks, Hoseok!” I kissed him on the cheek once more before I’m flying out of the car and racing up to the hotel room, hoping to God the girls aren’t too mad at me.

I slipped into the room silently, not wanting to be seen out of embarrassment. The suite looked empty. Did they leave without me? The room was mostly silent, save for the whispering of two voices coming from the bedroom. My shoulders drop in relief as I approach the slightly ajar door, but I froze when I hear the deep, broken voice of Darren.

“So, what do you want me to do? Just stop feeling the way I do?” He huffed in his usual low register. What is he doing in our room?

“Don’t say it like that Darren, you’re making me sound like the bad guy.” I heard Leyah’s smooth voice join his and my eye brows furrow, my curiosity spiked even higher.

Darren replies, sounding defeated. “That’s what you’re saying though...isn’t it?” Leyah sighs and by the way the bed released a noise of pressure, I can tell she sat down. “Well, yeah...I guess I am...I’m sorry.” There is a moment of silence before Darren speaks up again.

“It’s just...it sounds stupid Leyah, but I can’t hold it in anymore.” My head cocks in interest at his ambiguous words.

“And I’m sorry, but I’m asking you to do exactly that.” I found myself leaning closer to the door as the conversation went on, hoping to get closer to what Darren was getting at.

“I just told you, I can’t. What do you want me to do?” He asked sarcastically with a bitterness to his voice. More silence.

“Look, I just want this to work out for everybody and in order for that to happen, I need you to-I don’t know, just somehow keep this to yourself, okay? I know I’m probably asking too much of you, but I promise you, it’s for the best.”

“So this works out for everybody but me, huh?”

“Listen to me, I know you want a second shot or whatever, but telling Char how you feel is going to help, literally no one, trust me.” Leyah pleads with her best friend in a soft, reassuring voice and my eyes widen immensely.

Holy fuck.

They were having this deep, arduous conversation about me the entire time. So, Darren really did have genuine feelings for me and knowing Darren, that’s probably what he meant to tell me the night of our fight. That was weeks ago. By then, I already knew Darren had feelings for me, but hearing that his feelings were so deep that he literally couldn’t hold back anymore was daunting. I try to keep my breathing under control and not give myself away as I continue to eavesdrop for more answers.

“Besides, Char is really into that J-Hope kid and...they’re good together.”She spoke with an apologetic tone. “You telling her how you feel would just complicate things. Or it might get you hurt and I don’t wanna see either of my friends hurt. I…I just want you all to be happy.”

“Happy-what about my happiness, Leyah? Every time I see them together, I just want to punch something. I thought you were trying to help me in this-”

“That’s all I’ve ever done, Darren! And this time is no different.” Leyah suddenly yells, causing me to jump back from the door and almost lose my footing.

“You may be blind to it because of your feelings for her, but it’s obvious he’s it for her...and vice and versa. I know you see it, you just refuse to believe it and I’m sorry, but there is no way an apology and a confession is going to win her over when all she can see is him. The way they look at each other...even Char refuses to see it, but I know you do...I am trying to help you...this is me, trying to help you. Please don’t do this.”

Silence.

I couldn’t help the corners of my mouth slowly turning up into a smile when Leyah said Hoseok and I were good together. I knew the girls didn’t mind him, but I never asked them what they thought of the two of us together. I’m glad my best friend approves because I intend to keep him around for a while. And despite how much I wanted to grimace at her saying he was it for me, I couldn’t fight the butterflies that erupted in my stomach at the thought. Day by day, I’ve been exposing myself to the wonderous world of monogamy that once disgusted me and coming closer to embracing it. It only took the most awkward encounter of my life to realize that Hoseok may actually be the one. I huffed out a laugh to myself at the revelation when Darren finally speaks.

“Damn, Leyah. Why don’t you tell me how you really feel?” He spat angrily followed by the sound of his footsteps heading towards the bedroom door. My eyes widened tenfold and I panicked slightly before tip-toeing to the hotel room door at lightning speed. By the grace of God I was able to open it and slam it before Darren barged out of the bedroom and directed his heated gaze at me, pretending I had just walked in. It quickly turned to shock and relief as he recognized it was me, his mouth opening and closing like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind. I had trouble controlling my own facial expressions, not expecting to face him this quickly.

“Darren-oh, Char. You’re here.” Leyah said, closing the bedroom door behind her and joining Darren and I. She exchanged her frown for an emotionless line.

“What happened to you last night?”

“Oh. I, um...decided to go to Hoseok’s last minute and I got...caught up-uh…I’m really sorry I’m late.” I stammer, trying to give Leyah an excuse that won’t trigger Darren in turn.

“It’s okay, Char. I called, they pushed us back, it’s all good.” She shrugged. I sigh heavily and practically throw myself at her, wrapping my arms around her.

“You are the literal best. Why are you not in charge?” I whisper into her neck. She just chuckles and says “Because you’re much better at it.”

I continue to hug her, recalling what she said about my relationship with Hoseok, helping me to realize what was literally in front of my face the entire time. “Thank you.” I whisper once more.

“Anybody coulda done it Char, it’s nothing...come on, stop being weird.” he began to shrug me off, the longer we embraced and I broke away from her smiling. I turn around, remembering Darren was directly behind me and immediately avoiding eye contact. “Okay. Where is everyone? We should head out, right?”

“They’re in the garage, waiting for us.” Leyah shares, leading us out of the room.

“What were you guys doing?” I glance at the floor, trying to play dumb.

“I spilled something in your room, while I was waiting for Leyah to get ready. She helped me clean it up. Sorry.” Darren told me robotically as we got on the elevator. The excuse created another batch of questions I could have asked, but knowing the truth, I just left it alone for fear of being found out.

My friends were all waiting in the van in the garage and had many questions for me once I finally showed up. I just apologize repeatedly and dodge their questions as much as I can until they get that I don’t have any interest in discussing what exactly happened to me last night.

The atmosphere during the gig lacked that usual feeling of giddiness and excitement due to the events that occurred in the past 24 hours. My mind was full of thoughts of Darren and this incredibly uncomfortable situation he unknowingly put me in. It was obvious that Leyah and Darren were feeling it as well, their gazes always glazed over and far away whenever I laid eyes on them, which wasn’t often as I avoiding Darren again. Whenever he happened to be standing near me, I quietly slipped away to busy myself or when our eyes met, my eyes would dart elsewhere immediately. The other members seemed as lost as ever and skeptical, like they hadn’t been let in on a juicy secret.

When the option to visit the bar at the venue presented itself, I jumped at the opportunity, in desperate need of a drink after our set was over. I take a seat at the bar by myself, not bothered or surprised that the band left me alone. I see Darren do the same at the opposite side of the bar.They most-likely noticed me acting off and decided to give me space. I actually prefer it.

I had just downed my fourth shot and was starting to feel the effects when Darren took a seat on the stool on the right of me. I tense up involuntarily. I continue to look at the counter intensely, not acknowledging him until he speaks first.

“Hey, Char.” I turn to him slowly and glanced up at him from under hooded lids. He looked worried, for which one of us I couldn’t tell, but it made me antsy. I just nod at him. “You okay?” He followed up. I just nodded again, wishing to be anywhere, but here.

“Okay, um, I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.” He stammered.

I made a face before responding. “You are talking to me.” I drawled. He just laughed, his pearly whites on full display, reminding me how painfully beautiful his smile is.

“In that case...I wanna apologize again for everything I put you through in the past couple of weeks-”

“You didn’t put me through anything Darren, you...were trying.” I cut him off, not wanting him to beat himself up over something he couldn’t control.

If you wanna apologize for something, apologize for sticking your nose in my business all the time.

“Well, I’m thankful you see it that way, but I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting.” He said sincerely.

Then why are you doing this?

“I forgive you...I still haven’t apologized for those things I said to you weeks ago. I’m not gonna lie and say they didn’t come from a place of truth, but I really shouldn’t have said them, especially like that.” I ramble drunkenly.

“You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, just pills I had to swallow, I guess.” He shrugged. I just shake my head, thinking back to that night and how nasty I was to him. But I don’t speak on it anymore, knowing he would take my side every time.

“I also wanted to tell you something that’s been on my mind for a while.” He spoke slowly.

I turn to look at the counter again and sigh heavily and my heart beat speeds up significantly. Even after listening to Darren and Leyah earlier, I’m not ready to hear it from him for real, face to face.

“I know you were listening to Leyah and I earlier.” My head snaps up at him and the room spins slightly, my eyes widen. He just chuckles at my reaction. “I saw you run by the door to make your escape.” I wish I could laugh like him, but the severity of the situation still has me on edge.

“I guess there’s nothing to say then.” I say still trying to escape this confession.

“I wish there wasn’t” He replies.

“There doesn’t have to be.” I look up at him with furrowed brows and eyes that read ‘don’t do this.’

He makes a face, signifying that he recognizes my rejection, but he goes on.

“I know you’re into this Hope kid, but like you said, I’ve waited long enough, I have to try and I don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get this off my chest to you now.” He says with a passionate stare.

My body I moves before it has time to recognize the command form my brain, getting up and walking past Darren. I just had to get away in that moment. I stumble back when I feel his strong grip on my arm, turning me to face him. My eye twitched and my hands balled into fists. “Char, wait.” he pleaded.

“Darren let me go right now.” I feel my breathing quickened as I tried to free myself.

“Char, I love you.” His intense eyes meet mine, his voice was deep and fierce. His words immediately filled me with a sense of dread and my heart pounded in my chest, I was struck again with the need to escape.

“This isn’t happening, please let me go, now.”

“No, please, just listen to me. There is no one for me, but you, I need you to know that.” I work on unwrapping his hand from my arm when I made eye contact with the bartender behind Darren. He looked me over and his face lit up with concern. He took off to the front of the club and I was left to fend for myself against my friend in this sea of people who seem blind to what’s happening in front of them.

“Darren, let me go, I need to get out of here.” I growled at him. His grip only tightened.

“Char, don’t be like this. Please, just give me a chance.” He urged, staring me down with desperate eyes.

“I don’t want to! I don’t want you!” I shout above the music.

“Darren, what the fuck!” Leyah’s voice shot from behind me. I turn to see her enraged face and a burly bouncer making his way towards us in the distance, the bartender leading him to us. I feel stinging behind my eyes as so many emotions came over me all at once because this situation has gotten way too out of hand.

“What are you doing? Let her go, you idiot!” Leyah joins in trying to separate us.

“Char, you can’t leave until you hear me out, please!”

“You’re hurting me!” I screamed just as the bouncer took hold of Darren’s arm and yanked it. Finally, I was free and clutching my arm, tears flowing down my face.

“Why are touching me? I didn’t do anything!”

The bouncer tried to restain Darren, but he fought back and the bouncer didn’t take kindly to that. In no time a fight broke out and we all backed away. Leyah tried to comfort me by wrapping her arms around my shoulders and I shrugged her off instantly, not wanting to be here anymore.

I slipped through the bodies and made my way out of the building onto the street, gulping in all the fresh night air that I could. I bend down, touching my hands to my knees, trying to get my breathing under control, counting backwards from ten. When I have enough confidence to roam, I quickly walk around the corner and hope the band doesn’t think to look for me here.

I never expected to want to hide from my friends in a time like this, but recently I’ve done it more than I would like to admit. I used to run to them for stuff like this and they would help however they could. It was never enough though. Before them I would bottle everything up because it felt like no one understood. No one does. Except Hoseok.

I would deal with the issue the only way I knew how. Sex and alcohol. I got the alcohol part down seeing as I’m still slightly woozy, leaning on a cement structure near the bar. The only thing I need now is an orgasm and all my problems should be solved.

I laugh bitterly and rub at the dry tears on my face.

You can’t fix this.

I can try.

I ignore my conscience and seek out my old method of numbing the pain as I pull out my phone and call uber to Hoseok’s place. I get myself together as much as I can in the back of the car, avoiding calls from my bandmates. My whole demeanor changed once I arrived and took the elevator up to his apartment.

I knock sternly on Hoseok’s apartment door, biting my lip in anticipation and restlessness. Thoughts of tonight's events playing over and over in my mind, making me jittery and somewhat uneasy. I shake it off, knowing Hoseok would give me just what I needed in a time like this.

He opens the door steadily, not expecting any visitors, and brightens when he sees me. “Oh Charlotte. Come in.” I do more than that.

I leapt into his arms, immediately attaching my lips to his in a feral manner, my fingers splayed out, running along the expanse of his muscular body.

“Mm, hello to you too.” He mumbled against my needy lips, but going along with it, kissing me back and caressing my body as well.

“I need you.” Is the only excuse I give, making brief eye contact before leaning down to suck at the juncture of his neck. He moans and plants kisses near my ear. I push him backwards in the direction of his bedroom, sitting myself on his lap, legs on either side of his hips as soon as he touches the bed.

“Have you been drinking?” He panted.

“Maybe.”

I suck his bottom lip into my mouth, nibbling on it hungrily as I grind my hips into his quickly hardening dick. I’m interrupted from my magical state when Hoseok takes a hold of the hair at the crown of my head and pulled gently. “You okay?” He asked slightly out of breath from our make out, seeking out my eyes.

I cup his face with both my hands and look him in the eyes intensely. “I will be…” My tongue slides out of my mouth to lick a slow stripe up his parted lips. “Once you fuck the shit outta me.” I look down at his glazed over eyes, raised eyebrows and sexy agape mouth, finding no signs of resistance, but of course everything about it said he saw right through me. But I could care less if it means getting what I want in this moment. He just nodded understandingly. “Okay.” He let his sinful tongue wet his lips before forcing my face to his to devour my mouth and the rest of my will power.

He made quick work of his plain white t-shirt, throwing it behind me and then unbuckled the overalls of my dress. I help the rest of the way, removing my shirt, leaving just my black lace bra. He takes a moment to admire the view and then he rips the cups of my bra down to suck my nipple into his mouth, flicking his tongue against it and repeating his actions on my other breast. I moan out, arching my back into him, continuing to gain brilliant friction from grinding my crotch into his.

I kiss my way down his neck and chiseled front until I’m on my knees, in between his legs. I fondle his dick through his sweatpants graciously and all-but rip the garment from his hips. He cooperates, lifting his hips and pushes down his underwear as well. I waste no time with teasing, taking his head into my mouth as soon as it is presented to me. Hoseok instinctively threads his fingers into my thick hair and tugs slightly.

“Fuck, Charlotte.” He hissed through his teeth and began fucking into my mouth. I invite him in further, relaxing my throat and jaw, letting it go slack to feel him hitting the back of my throat repeatedly. I let him do as he pleased with my body, enjoying the feeling of making him feel good. I celebrate the fact that the tears that sting the back of my eyes are the result of mutual pleasure and not from being triggered by too many built up emotions. No. The only emotion I feel now is extreme euphoria thanks to my affection for Hoseok. The yearning, the adulation, the complete infatuation I have with him. I look up through teary eyes at his angelic, gyrating form.

“Goddamn.” He groaned. “Such a dirty girl, looking at me like that while I fuck your little throat.” I moan around him and nod in agreeance as well as I could.

“You like that? Nngh...huh, baby?” He questioned as he forces my head down on his cock, my nose nuzzling his pubic hair. I gag trying to still manage a nod, my nails scratching at his thighs. He suddenly pulls my head back up by my hair, not giving me time to breathe as he captures my lips with his. Wetness pools in my underwear when he pulls my hair roughly to break the kiss.

“I almost came so hard down your throat just now.” He said heatedly, almost as out of breath as me. I whimper at the husky drawl of his voice and his fucked out gaze staring me down like he’s about to wreck me. “No, I got somewhere else I want it to go.” He looks me up and down, likcing his lips like he would tear me apart piece by piece any second now. And I was patiently awaiting that moment between his legs, loving the anticipation of it all.

“Where is that?” I rasped seductively, stroking his spit covered cock with both hands. He threw his head back quickly and regarded me cooly, almost scolding me for my actions with his eyes.

“Get on the bed.” He ordered, ignoring my question completely. I wanted to disobey, to rebel just to see what he would do. But my lust for him controlled me, forced me to rush to the top of the bed and remove the rest of my clothing at lightning speed. He just turned around and crept towards me slowly.

His hands glided along my legs smoothly, parting them further to make room for his glorious, naked body in between. He licked pleasant patterns into my thighs, moving deeper towards my incredibly wet core. He sucked one lip into his mouth before he spoke.

“Is this what you want?” I nodded eagerly. “What you barged in here demanding?” He cocks his head to the side and smirks a if to reprimand me.

“Yes.” I utter, guiltily.

“Not so bold now. Hm.” He sucks my other pussy lip into his mouth and pinches my thigh causing me to gasp.

“You know, dirty girls don’t usually deserve to get their pussy eaten. Do you?” He licks a swift stripe straight up my slit, slowing down once he reaches my clit. My breath hitches and I feel myself getting wetter at the filthy words falling from his mouth.

“Yes.” I breathed immediately. “Please eat my pussy, Hoseok. I need you, I need your mouth, making me feel good...you always make me feel so good, Hobi, please.” I pleaded, gyrating my hips into nothing in front of his face, just looking for some kind of relief and I was so close.

Hoseok seemed pleased with this performance and swoops down to flick his tongue against my clit at a vicious speed, making me throw my head back into the bed and wrap my legs around his head. He invites the gesture, dipping lower to take the bud into his mouth and attacking it that way as he held my thighs down.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Hoseok! Argh-oh my-yes!” I cried out helplessly, letting the immense pleasure take me away, his hair now in my vice grip. “Your fingers.” I blurted out, on the edge, my climax in sight. “Please give me your fingers.”

He didn’t hesitate to give me what I asked for, plunging two fingers into me and curling them forward to hit that spot that made my legs shake.

“Ah! Yes...I’m gonna cum.” I announce, the feeling of earth shattering pleasure fast approaching. Until Hoseok stopped what he was doing.

“What the fuck?” I whipped my head to look down at him and before I have time to register what’s happening, his cock was sinking into my heat and his hips were snapping into mine.

“Awk! Nnnnngh, fuck!”

I immediately fell off the edge, my body jerked as Hoseok’s dick collided with my g-spot, igniting violent explosions in the pit of my belly. My eyes cross and my vision goes blurry as I spasm against the sheets, focusing on the breathtaking pulsing of my hole around his cock. I arched my back into his chest and reach for anything to hold onto. Finding his neck, I wrapped my fingers around it and squeezed.

“Oh, shhhhit...that’s it baby, cum on my cock, just like that. So fucking good baby girl.” He growls into my ear, his gravelly voice sending vibrations through my fingers around his neck, causing warm electricity to course through my body. I gurggled mindlessly and subconsciously squeeze his cock at the erotic words.

He continues fucking into my lifeless body at a steady pace, breathing life into it with every thrust. My body recovers from before, but is inviting more overstimulating pleasure from Hoseok’s efforts to cum himself. So, I gather the energy to get him there.

I finally release my hold on his neck and grip his face to look me in the eyes. He gulps for air, still slamming into me steadily. “You fuck me so good, Hoseok. You made me cum so hard, baby. Only you.” Hoseok grunts, heavily. His thrusts becoming harder and faster, burying his dick inside me, staring into my eyes sensually.

“I can feel you pulsing inside me, ready to blow.” I purr, caressing his arms as they work and flex to propel him forward into me. He abruptly takes my legs to hike them over his shoulders, his dick delving deeper into me, creating a new delicious angle that has both of us moaning like mad.

“Holy mutherfuckingshit, you’re gonna make me cum again, fuck.” I spew, not being able to hold back with another intense orgasm barreling towards me.

“Can I cum in you baby?” He pants, his hips sputtering with how close he was to finishing.

“You can do whatever the fuck you want-uugh! Mother of fuck! No one’s ever fucked me like you do. I swear I could fuck you for the rest of my life. Oh my fucking God, I want you forever.” I whimpered, so fucking close to that white light.

“Argh, fuck!” He cums into me with so much force, I’m sent flying through time and space, frozen in this one moment dissolving into pure euphoria forever. I let out a shriek, my tense, jerking body unable to contain the pleasure coursing through it.

Hoseok collapsed onto me briefly, catching my lips in a passionate kiss before giving me room to drop my legs back down onto the bed. We couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves afterwards, neither of our mouths wanting to leave the other’s body. Moments later he pulled away from me and looked me over thoughtfully.

“What?” I whisper, the silence in the room making itself known now. He doesn’t answer immediately, still weighing whatever it was.

“Nothing.” He decides and places the covers over us, cuddling me. “We’re talking about that in the morning.” He points to the new bruise on my arm that Darren created and closed his eyes while I tried to formulate an excuse for what happened.

++++++++++++

I woke up to Hoseok tracing light patterns into the skin of my shoulder from behind me. I could feel his eyes on me, but not in a creepy way. I turn to lie on my back and regard his beautiful face with appreciation.

“Good morning.” He said, now tracing patterns on my sheet clad stomach on his side and resting on his head in his hand. His eyes were focused on what he was doing, almost like they were distracting him from something else.

“Morning.” I replied, studying his face. He looked deep in thought, his brows slightly furrowed and his lip tucked itself under his teeth as he thought of his next words.

He opened his mouth to speak, pausing in even more thought before he found the words. “Last night was very fun for me, but...what exactly happened?”

Jeez, so soon?

I too, distracted myself with his movement on my body as I tried to figure out what to say.

“What made you come over here...like that?” He wondered, concerned.

I sigh. “Uh, at the gig yesterday...Darren, he…” Hoseok’s movements stop momentarily at the mention of my guy friend/roadie and then continue again. I glance up at his face that was now filled with malice. A look that didn’t look good on his angelic features. “What did he do?” He whispered sternly.

I swallow nervously. “He...he told me he loved me.” I force out in a small voice. The words sounded so foreign coming from my mouth, a person who doesn’t even deserve love. It was like I was finally coming to terms with it after running from it since it happened.

Hoseok’s movements stopped again and his hand lifted off of my body by millimeters, in shock. He rested his hand on the bed and I look up at him to see his reaction. His face is disgruntled and conflicted. I can just see the gears turning in his head.

“And do you...do you feel anything for him?” He spoke, not meeting my eyes.

“No.” I say immediately. “Of course not...not in that way. Not when I have you, how could you even think that?” I asked incredulously, grabbing his hand and placing our joined hands on my stomach.

He just shrugs, his bothered expression gone. “Because he’s built, good looking and you could have anyone you want.” He forces a laugh.

I lift my hand to stroke his soft cheek. “Well I want you so none of that matters.” He finally looked into my eyes and smiled genuinely, swooping down to kiss me firmly. “And for the record, you’re the most handsome man I’ve ever met.” I say when we part. He blushed slightly and smiled wider in thanks.

“So that’s why you came all the way here so...excuse my French, out of it? And what happened to your arm?”

“Yes. I didn’t exactly react too well when he told me...I tried to leave, but...he held onto my arm to keep me there.” I relay calmly, analyzing the bruise that’s only gotten worse since last night. Hoseok’s look of animosity was back.

“He did this? What a fucking asshole! Who does he think he is?” Hoseok spewed a few more insults before I climbed my way on top of him. He was now on his back, my hands on his bare chest not caring to toy with the sheet that fell from mine.

“Hey, forget about him. The bouncer took care of him...I think. He just got a little passionate, we were drinking and hey, I’m fine.” I smile to convince him.

“But he hurt you and you’re okay with it?” Hoseok asked hesitantly.

“I didn’t say I was okay with it, he and I will have words, but I am fine.” I leaned down to kiss him. My lips moved against his and his hands reacted by gripping my butt. I let go after a few moments. “And I would like if we stopped talking about this for a while.” I request, giving my best puppy dog eyes.

“Okay, fine.” He relented, stroking my face with his hands and staring into my eyes. “May I ask one more hard hitting question, though?” His profound features didn’t match his joking tone, I had no idea what to expect.

“Go for it.”

“Did you mean it? What you said last night? About...forever?” His eyes were intense with curiosity, like he had everything riding on this. I do some quick thinking of my own. Hoseok is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man, that much is obvious. And as much as I say I have trouble with commitment and intimacy, I’ve already committed myself to Hoseok. We weren’t seeing anyone else, nor did we want to, plus we were infatuated with each other. I can’t ignore this fact. Even though I have some issues that needed work, that doesn’t mean I have to let it hold me back from life.

“Yes...I don’t know about forever, no one does, but...” I answer, honestly. I watch him smile brightly in front of me, basking in his warm glow. “I wanna be with you, Hoseok.” His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“You are with me.” He grabs my hand and squeezes.

“Like be with you, be with you.” I thread our fingers together in the air, gazing into his beautiful brown eyes.

“But I thought you said you didn’t want to...you know...labels?” There it was, that look of hopeful curiosity that Hoseok wore best and that always made me grin.

“I know, I know...I’m just done with letting my issues control me.” He smiles proudly, resting a hand on my cheek and stroking, gently. “So, Hoseok, if you’ll have me, I would love to be your...your g-girlfriend.” I fought back the bile building up with the sound of Hoseok’s comforting laughter. He grasps my cheeks and brings me down to his level, putting our foreheads together fervently.

“I think I’m supposed to ask you that.” He laughed.

“Well, when you do, I’ll say yes. Easy as that.”

He nods happily. “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you pushing yourself too far.”

I shake my head. “It’s the only way I’ll learn...and I wanna learn with you.”

Hoseok regarded me with a look of longing in his eyes and kissed me once again with so much emotion, it spread warmth throughout my entire body and tendrils of electricity to the tips of my fingers and toes. “Okay....okay.”

The two of us lay there whispering sweet nothings until I heard my phone buzzing from across the room and I sigh, figuring it was time to stop ignoring my friends. Hoseok properly stretches and I dangle my body off the side of the bed to reach for my phone and check my messages.

Several calls and texts from each of the girls riddled my screen, but I was surprised to find no messages or calls from Darren. I settle back into bed and Hoseok attaches himself to me again as I call Leyah back to check in.

“Char, hey, are you okay?” She picks up right away and her troubled voice filled my ears.

“Yes, Leyah, I’m fine.”

She sighs in relief. “So I can assume you’re with J-Hope right now?”

“Yes, I’m at Jay’s right now.”

“Okay, well, you might want to get back soon.” She said nervously.

“Why is that?” My skeptical tone caused Hoseok’s eyes to pop open in intrigue.

“Uh, Darren kinda got arrested last night after you left and we’re gonna go bail him out.”

I rolled my eyes and rubbed a hand around my face in annoyance. Well that explains the lack of messages. “No, you all can go bail him out, I’m going to stay here.” I say sternly. Hoseok moved to rest on his elbows beside me, studying my stressed out face.

“Are you sure? He mentioned wanting to see you.”

“I could give a fuck what he wants right now.” I spat. She just sighed. “Okay. I guess I’ll see you...later then.” She said dejectedly. I groan, hoping I don’t regret what I’m about to do. Her depressed tone shot right through me.

I know Leyah just the best for her friends and for me to just stop hiding and get this over with, so I figured I’d do her a favor.

“Wait, Leyah...I’ll go. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay. See you then. Thank you.” We hung up and I ran my fingers through my hair roughly.

“Is everything okay?” Hoseok asked rubbing my arm comfortingly.

“No.” I answer easily, knowing the truth. “But I have to go. I’m just gonna take a shower first if that okay?”

“Yeah of course. Is it okay if I join you?” I just pecked his lips and nodded.

The shower was quick seeing as I had somewhere to be and I threw on a white t-shirt, black skinny jeans and the Doc Martens I wore last night.

On our way out, I see the glass on the nightstand from yesterday in the same place that I left it and decided to clean it up. Hoseok continues to gather his things in the bedroom as I make my way to the kitchen. I stop in my tracks when I see a familiar figure standing at the counter with his back to me. His height, shoulders, back muscles and even his hair (that was now a tinted, dark red) were all very visceral, creating flashes of so many memories in my brain.

My heart rate accelerates and my world begins to spin when the stranger finally turns around and I find that he’s no stranger at all.

His gorgeous face scrunches up in confusion and complete awe at the sight of me. “Charlotte?” His rugged yet celestial voice traveled over to me, sending a sinister chill down my spine.

“Yoongi?” I whisper brokenly.

“Oh, Yoongi hyung, you’re back!” I straighten up and blink away the blurriness in my eyes at the sound of Hoseok’s voice behind me.

“Charlotte, I see you’ve met my temporary room mate, Yoongi. Yoongi this is my girlfriend, Charlotte.”

My heart leapt into my throat as the glass I was holding clattered to the floor, exploding into pieces.

26 notes · View notes

izzy-b-hands · 5 years ago

Note

If you're still doing the songfic requests, could you do lookalike by conan gray?

Oooh this gave me the chance for Drama and Lots of Intense Emotions and Some Shouting and also to create an OC for this particular fic! I kinda took the idea and emotion of the song and twisted it round a bit as the plot progressed; it was definitely an interesting exercise, though I didn’t originally intend for it to get so serious! Warnings for implied past physical and emotional abuse and also damn part of this got really sad though again I didn’t intend that? It just kinda went there and I followed the plot bunny lol.

I do want to say, I’d never hear the song before, but the song is a good one! Here’s a link to listen, for anyone reading who hasn’t heard it: https://open.spotify.com/track/4K3gM7kzX4POAfrs71HomN

Thank you for the request, I hope you like this Anon!! And thanks to all who read/like/reblog!!

He saw him while they were walking down the street, finishing the list of errands for the day. He didn’t want to alarm Eugene, but he also really didn’t want to deal with-

“Victor,” Snafu sighed, defeated as he ran across the street to them.

“Y’know, a person would be inclined to think you hadn’t made it back, Merriell. You’re a hard man to find,” Victor said, glaring hard at Eugene. “Who’s this?”

Eugene fed Victor’s glare right back at him before Snafu could react. “Eugene Sledge. Snafu’s friend and...” Eugene held out his hand to shake, and when Victor took it, pulled him close and whispered just loud enough for Snafu to hear. “...his husband. Who are you?”

Victor gave a sarcastic bark of a laugh. “Husband. Interesting.”

“Can we help you with something?” Eugene asked, his voice riding the edge of polite and quietly angry. “If not, we were heading home.”

“Home? Thought New Orleans was home,” Victor replied. “Merriell, I don’t want to cause a scene, but I think I’m owed an explanation.”

“Snafu?” Eugene asked.

He wanted the ground to swallow him up. “Eugene, this is Victor. We were uh...together, for about a year. We broke up the year before I enlisted. And-”

“Oh no,” Victor interrupted. “I get to tell my side of things first.”

“Lower your voice,” Eugene commanded. The few other people walking up and down the street had started to look their way. “Better yet, let’s go get a drink or something. Then you can say your business so we can get home.”

“You’ve got a type, least in looks,” Victor said, ignoring Eugene entirely. “Hazel eyes, just like me. Not sure if you’d call that a haircut, but even the same color as me. Bet there’s something of mine he couldn’t replicate though. Bet you miss it.”

“Enough,” Snafu tried to sound commanding, but his voice wavered as he worked to hold back tears. He thought he’d given Victor the slip. Going away for so long, and staying away from his old hang-outs when they’d visited New Orleans. But somehow, he was here. “And I don’t. He’s better.”

“What the fuck is goin’ on here?” Eugene said, his voice raising just slightly. “Both of you shut up until we get to the park, and then I want an explanation.”

Eugene took him by the hand and nearly dragged him down the street to the local park, Victor hot on their heels. At the first empty bench, Eugene sat them all down, himself thankfully in between them. “Well?”

“Like I was tryin’ to say. Victor and I dated for a year. Just datin’, nothing more. I knew I was plannin’ to enlist, and we weren’t doing well. Fighting, and...” tears fell before he could try and stop them. “It was terrible. So I broke it off, because it needed to end. But he followed me around, trying to get back together, and now, somehow...” Snafu gestured helplessly to Victor, who was rolling his eyes. “He’s here again.”

“You make it sound like I stalked you,” Victor huffed.

“You did,” Snafu replied, holding onto Eugene’s hand so tightly he knew he was leaving marks with his nails.

“Yet here you are with my lookalike. You miss me,” Victor hissed.

Snafu shook his head, and turned to face Eugene fully. “I don’t. I swear-”

“That’s why he likes you,” Victor interrupted. “You look just like good old Vic, and Merriell here wasn’t brave enough to come back and beg for me-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Snafu was on his feet without thinking about it, his shout echoing around the park. “So I have a fucking type! You wanna know why I like him? He loves me! He cares about me! He doesn’t leave me in the fuckin’ gutter when we go out, no matter how drunk I am. He doesn’t spend every fuckin’ moment tellin’ me I’m nothin’ without him. He doesn’t hi-”

He couldn’t bear to hear himself say it. He still didn’t like to think about the control Victor had been able to exert over him, how small he’d felt for that year they’d been together. How he’d been so afraid once he’d left Victor that he really would be nothing. That he’d never find anyone to trust or to love him again. And then there’d been Eugene-who did look similar to Victor, in his eyes and hair color and height, but only in that-who’d made his knees weak from the moment he laid eyes on him, and over their time together in the Pacific theater had managed to capture him completely, heart and soul.

“I did what I had to do, so you could learn how you should treat others,” Victor said brusquely. “But you haven’t learned a fucking thing, apparently. You never even thought about me, did you? After it ended?”

Eugene was on his feet, holding tight onto his arm. “Ignore him. We’re going home.”

“You’ll hear me out before you take a single step,” Victor shouted, standing to face them, tears starting to run down his cheeks. “You ruined me, when you left. I’ve spent years now, looking for you. Then trying to find you in other people, but I don’t want to settle for someone like you. I thought...I always thought...”

He fumbled a ring box from his pocket. “All you had to do was do the same as me. Work in the factory, makin’ camo paint, stay safe at home. Listen to me, do as I say, and I would have made you the happiest man alive or dead. Instead you left me, then you left the damn city, and I can’t get you out of my head!”

He reached out for Snafu’s free arm, and pulled him close, almost out of Eugene’s grasp. “You’re comin’ back home, and if I hear one word about it-”

Suddenly, Eugene had let him go and his fist was across Victor’s face, hard. The punch knocked Victor onto his ass, glaring at them both as tears dripped down his face, blood dribbling from his split lip.

“He is home. And from the sounds of it, you never were home to him. Home is where you’re safe, and happy, and loved. Now, I hope you can find that someday for yourself, but you sure as hell won’t if you keep comin’ around here bothering my husband, and I’ll make sure of it,” Eugene spat, breathing hard. It was strange to see him so angry. Snafu thought back, but the only time he could recall Eugene ever being so upset was towards the end of their time in the Pacific, when everyone was on edge and angry and more than ready to go home.

“Fine. But every time you kiss him, every time he holds you close, I promise you he’ll be thinkin’ of me,” Victor spat back as he stood, picking up the ring box where it had fallen on the gravel path.

“You’re dead fuckin’ wrong,” Snafu said, pushing past Eugene to give Victor a shove. “When we came back, I told Eugene there was nothin’ for me in New Orleans, and I meant it. And you know what? You never once came to mind, when I thought of New Orleans, never. My family? That’s the nothin’ that I have in New Orleans, but you? You’re less than nothin’ to me.”

It was quiet, except for their heavy breathing and the sound of both of them muffling their crying as tears fell fast and hard.

When Snafu finally turned back, he saw Eugene at the payphone near the park entrance, just hanging up. He jogged back as he caught eyes with Snafu, and the look of concern on his face only made it harder for him not to break down and sob.

“So. I called a few of my friends and family round here. Marine friends, particularly. Now, I don’t like to pull rank, but I think this situation merits it,” Eugene told Victor as he stood there, catching his breath. “If you try and follow us, if you so much as come anywhere near us while you’re still in town, then I promise you’ll have hell to pay. They all know what you look like-”

“Yeah,” Victor snickered through his tears. “Like-”

“An extremely ugly version of me, yeah,” Eugene interrupted. “Now you stay the fuck away from me and Merriell.”

He grabbed Snafu’s hand gently, and quickly but carefully pulled him down the path to the road. Sid was there, waiting with his car. Mary had already gotten out, and pulled up the backseat so they could get in.

He let himself be pulled in, then finally collapsed into a fit of sobs as Mary got back in and Sid started to drive them home.

“You believe me, don’t you? God, nobody ever believed me about him. They always believe Victor, always, but I swear to you I’m not lyin’, I never even liked him that much, it was just a...a fling, I only stayed because I was so damn scared of him,” Snafu knew he was babbling as he cried, but he couldn’t stop himself. He knew Eugene would believe him, yet the doubt was still there. His own mother had believed Victor over him, telling him he’d given up something good.

“Darlin’,” Eugene’s voice was soft and soothing. “You know I believe you. You proposed to me, for fuck’s sake. You took care of me when I was still a scared-as-shit boot, in your own way. You went all the way out somewhere neither of us had ever been, knowing nothin’ about fuckin’ Maryland or what we might find there, just because you wanted to be with me. You came here, and I think you honestly would have fought my parents if they’d been anything other than decent to me, and I do mean a fist fight.”

Sid laughed at that. “Sorry, Snaf. Just...it’s a hell of an image. And he’s right, I know you would have. No fucked up, ass of an ex-boyfriend is gonna convince any of us that you don’t absolutely love our Sledgehammer to death.”

Mary nodded, and reached an arm back to pat his hand.��“Eugene told us all about what he was doin’. Was gonna walk you home, but we didn’t want him tryin’ to follow you two. We’re gonna get you boys home, then you rest, okay? Let Sledgehammer take care of you.”

He nodded, and hiccuped through the tears he tried desperately to quiet as they went, finally pulling into the circular drive and right up to the front door.

“Careful,” Sid helped them out of the backseat, while Mary ran ahead with their spare house key and opened the door. “Now, I’ll be keepin’ my eyes open. And if he somehow makes it here, you call right away. If he’s smart, he’ll leave town tonight. But if decides to be even dumber than he’s been already...well, we’ll help him find his way out onto the road.”

“Thank you,” Snafu whispered, his voice hoarse from the yelling and sobbing.

“’Course,” Sid replied as they helped settle them inside. “Don’t you spend one more moment thinkin’ about him, and you two have a better evening, okay?”

Eugene left him on the couch as he walked Sid and Mary out, thanking them for their help. When he came back, Snafu couldn’t help but break into tears again.

“Honey, no,” Eugene was back on the couch in a heartbeat, sat down and pulling Snafu as far onto his lap as he could. “No more tears over him. He’s gone, and he’s not comin’ back. And if he tries to, I’ll make damn sure he doesn’t get near you.”

“I know,” Snafu sobbed. “I just...god, you’re too damn good for me.”

“Absolutely not,” Eugene replied. “It’s the other way around if anything.”

“No,” Snafu replied. “I’m...”

“Wonderful, sweet, the best man I’ve ever met, cute, kind,” Eugene interrupted. “Or were you gonna say how you’re also smart, and hard-working, and the only man I’d ever want as my husband?”

Snafu managed a smile. “You forgot my great ass.”

“Never, I could never forget that. I’m lucky enough to get to stare at it every day,” Eugene smiled, before pressing a soft kiss to Snafu’s lips. “We’re just fine. We’re safe, and I know you wouldn’t lie to me about him, or anything else. The only thing you lie to me about is when the cats have done something I don’t like.”

“They’re kids; they don’t know any better,” Snafu protested with a chuckle. “Thank you.”

“No need to thank me. We’ve both said it before. This is what it means: love, and marriage, and the rest of our lives together. We help each other, and hold each other up. It’s just my turn to hold you up right now, and I know you’ll do the same for me whenever I need,” Eugene said. “Now. What can I do to help make the rest of this day a good one for you?”

“Can we just sit here, together?” Snafu asked, trying and failing to stop sniffling. “I’m tired as hell right now.”

“Me too. Cuddling and a nap sound just right,” Eugene replied, moving Snafu like he didn’t weigh a thing as he pulled the rest of himself onto the couch, and yanked Snafu up so he was able to lay against his chest.

“He really is a fuckin’ ugly version of you,” Snafu giggled as they relaxed.

Eugene snorted and laughed. “I didn’t want to critique your previous taste in men, but...”

“Thank god my taste got better,” Snafu sighed. “How lucky am I, that I found you?”

Eugene replied with a kiss, his eyes already closed and his breathing slow. Snafu could tell he’d be asleep soon.

And so would he, with the comforting sound of Eugene’s heartbeat beneath his ear.

#text post #LeeH writes #Sledgefu #this just grew as I wrote it and got more and more serious #and I'm like man I think this is a bit past the meaning of the song #but heck if it isn't interesting so okay brain I'll roll with it lol #hope you guys like it even if it isn't my usual lighter fare #it was cool to write #and thank you again to anon for the request!!#send more if you'd like!!#and I'll happily write them!#Anonymous

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discordant-daydreams · 6 years ago

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valkyrie rosin: enter

i had done this for school about one of my ocs i have been trying to develop since 2013 but turns out i didn’t need to. I’m posting it here so it was worth it also because i am proud of it! please enjoy!

I had been napping. It was a hot summer day, well it was spring but it felt more like summer, and I had nothing better to do. Napping was always interesting. Whenever i napped i had dreams, No not dreams, nightmares. They were always the same thing, my village was being destroyed. I always wake up panicking and honestly who wouldn't. I've talked to others about it and they always say that it's just my internal fear of becoming leader of our village but that feels wrong. I feel it is a warning like someone telling me something bad is going to happen. In the dream an evil shadowy man with glowing red eyes is destroying the village. At the end he always says i told you. Today was no different.

“Val! Wake up! We’re gonna have another race and you are still the winner!” i hear my older brothers voice. We are a race of shifters, a species that looks human but can transform into two other species, and i can become a horse or swan hence the name valkyrie. My brother a bear and a wolf. He hasn't gotten a name yet and he doesnt really want one. We are given normal names at birth, mine being rosin his being beamard but id rather valkyrie. So many people struggle on remembering how to say rosin that its just easier to go with valkyrie. I groan in annoyance and get up.

“You know I’m going to win if you allow the use of abilities, right? I can become a horse!”

“Yeah but eric is gonna join us today”beamard remarks with a smirk

“Oh no,” my brother laughs pats my shoulders and walks to the location

“So you have the same dream?” he says with genuine worry. I frown and nod. There's a silence for a while as we make our way towards the venue. My brother gives the normal rundown of rules. No inflicting pain on another, no cheating, yada yada yada. We start to take on our fastest forms and i notice hesitation on my brothers face.he glances towards me and forces a smile and mouths that he is fine. I raise an eyebrow and stay guarded.

Me and bee have been talking a lot about the history of our species and how it has been forgotten. We used to be able to shift into anything but we had to know the species very well and practice. We used to use it just to change our appearance slightly or prepare for battles and such but some wanted more. Our village got greedy and tried to learn any species possible so we could have the upper hand and the humans didn't like that. They never liked us because we are different but i get that. I understand how it feels. Some species scare me and my first reaction is to react unfavorably so i understand if they want to attack us. The humans asked us to agree to learning no more identities and we accepted it well reluctantly. My parents didn't like having their freedom taken away and neither did I when i learned.

My brother takes on the form of a wolf, Eric a falcon and me well i did something different. I tried a thoroughbred horse instead of a friesian. I probably would have been stopped had i not waited till the last minute. The cap gun goes off and we took off. I knew i was doing the wrong thing but man the adrenaline i was feeling was unreal. It was amazing. We all make it to the end but i zoomed to the finish line last minute and won. I was cheering having my own celebration but no one else was cheering.

“Ah c’mon guys don’t be sore losers it was only a-”

“Rosin how could you! You know that's forbidden! Are you trying to get us killed!” beamards shouts as he grabs my shoulders shaking me. The terror he is feeling was tangible and i looked up at him frowning.

“I-i thought it would be fine if it was just a different breed im sorry… im sorry! I don't want to get you killed! Im sorry!” as i begin to cry beamard softens and realizes he reacted harshly.

“Im sorry val i just worry i don't want anything to happen to you and honestly they wouldn't punish an entire village for an 8 year old’s curiosity.” somethign about the way he spoke felt fake and wrong but i just brushed it off and ignore it. we hug and our friends declare me the winner again. I convince them to all go out for ice cream by saying bee would treat them. He frowns and says fine and i laughs. Everything is nice and fun again and after ice cream w get home for dinner with our family. My parents seem oddly serious and beamard steps behind me. Dad nods at beamard and sighs.

“We know beamard you don't have to say anything i want you two to grab your dinners and go to the basement.” beamard nods and grabs our plates and heads off nudging me forward. I stand firm and glare at my father.

“No i will not! All day everyone has been acting.. Off? Weird? I cant describe it! Whatever it is im tired of it! Stop leaving me out!” beamard just quietly says please as i yell at my parents. Was it wrong of me to yell probably. Had i known what i know now would i have yelled? I wish i could say no but knowing myself the answer is still, probably. My father and mother kneel in front of me and frown grabbing my hands and say,

“Sweetie i know you want answers but please you have to trust us. We will be joining you two in the basement soon!” i frown, nod, and hug them and follow beamard to the basement. We eat our dinner in silence both too worried to speak. I suddenly remember my dream as it plays back in my head and i start crying as i realize.

“Beamard? The humans, they are trying to exterminate us aren't they?” he looks at me shocked but then nods and gestures for me to come over. I do and we huddle together hopeing for the best. “So my dream was correct… that really sucks.” i try so hard to keep my emotions under control but its hard. We hear screams outside and magic. we feel rumbling as homes are destroyed. The home we knew for years being reduced to ruble. The village i was to lead some day, no more. Everything we knew was being ripped from our grasp just because humans don't understand. Beamard looks down at me frowning.

“Rosie please don't hate the human. Please promise me you will stay open minded with them. Not all of them are terrible. Not all of them intend to destroy those they are confused about. Please keep your kind loving heart and promise me if anything were to happen to me that you wont change. That you wont let the hatred consume you. Please remember that i love you-” the door blasts open and a short winged humanoid comes in. they are wearing a cloak so we are unable to see what they look like but they are pale almost pinkish in hue. The vibes they give off are feelings of unsatiable blood lust and a hunger for violence. They send chills up my spine and i have the urge to run away. My brother grabs me and runs to the farthest corner of the room where he left his sword. I hiss through my teeth. Why didnt he have his sword on him? I draw my sword and approach “rosin no!” beamard jumps in front of my his sword clattering to the ground. There is a bright indigo light and it goes through my brother and reaches me. I an feel a searing pain from my left shoulder down to my hip and i wince, gritting my teeth. As i look forward to check on my brother all i can see is a pile of glittering crystals where my brother once was. I lose my composure for a moment and weep, collapsing where i stand, nd then regain it tearing off the crystals forming where the wound is.

“You arent a normal 8 year old are you? Youve prepared for this.” the person says with an unsusual voice. Its higher and friendly. One you would here and think of an innocent childlike individual. “A normal 8 year old would have been too afraid of the danger let alone the threat of death. They did warn me that you are an intelligent individual but i thought that meant for an 8 year old.”

“Yeah well you don't know our species then.” i get up draw my sword careful to make sure they arent looking and charge at them driving my sword through their middle and then using a match to light their wings. I didnt expect it to do much but they panicked and managed to break their wing. I oull my sword out and run away. As i am running i see the village i once knew. It was on fire. The cause? A grey dragon whose face was the angriest ive seen. The dragon made eye contact with me and it seemed to be appologizing. I run into the forest leaving a trail of blood. I find a cave and settle down when i hear a voice. The voice of a child about my age.

“Hi there my name is uh alex, we’ll go with that, um why are you in my cave?” i frown out of it.

“My village was just destroyed can you not see?” the child pauses and smirks. The smirk makes me go cold

“Oh yeah i forgot. I did warn you though.”

#valkyrie rosin #valkyrie #writing #shape shifters #shifters #beamard #angst #demons #yeet

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ficsandstrangerthings · 7 years ago

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Hold on Loosely Part 3

Summary: A new face shakes things up at Hawkins. Scarlett (OC) never asked to move to the seemingly small quiet town, and she definitely didn’t ask for the events to follow. Pairing: Steve Harrington X OC (Slow burn) Warnings: Some cursing

Word count: 1.9 K

A/N: Finally getting part 3 out! There was a lot of dialogue in this chapter, which has always been a struggle of mine as an author, hence the long wait! I am still not a hundred percent sure about this chapter, but if I rewrite it anymore I might go crazy, so hopefully it isn’t total garbage. On another note I will hopefully be posting a couple new imagines this weekend, so keep your eyes peeled for those!

Part 1 Part 2

Scarlett liked to think she was a decent person. She knew she had her flaws and made her share of mistakes, but the curve balls Karma seemed to be throwing her way lately made her rethink recent life choices.

“Steve, where did...what uh, what are you doing here?” She stammered, cringing slightly at how moronic she sounded. He arched a brow at her, looked over his shoulder from where he just came, then turned back to her.

“Well it is a party, so there’s that,” shoving his hands in his pockets he nodded in her direction “and that’s my car so...” Scarlett leapt forward, cheeks flushing in embarrassment. Of course, of all the cars she could have stopped to puke at she had to choose his. Karma-2 Scarlett-0.

Distracted by the boy before her, and unable to multitask with her muddled mind she momentarily forgot about her injured ankle. That was until she put weight on it. “Sorry!” Wincing she did her best to balance as much weight as possible on her right leg without going tumbling. “I didn’t uh know, I was just catching my breath before I walk home.” She explained, before her sluggish brain suddenly noticed why Steve seemed so out of place. “Where’s Nancy?” His face darkened at her question, body slumping forward, causing the girl to frown.

“Johnathon is making sure she get’s home,” He muttered, not meeting her gaze. Scarlett didn’t need to know who Johnathon was, to know that wasn’t good news. She sucked on her teeth, the sudden tension in the air almost as heavy as it had been back at the party.

“Well, uh I’m sorry again, for you know, leaning on your car.” She tugged nervously on her ponytail with her free hand, “I made sure not to puke on it though!” With that blurted afterthought Steve’s attention was back on Scarlett who froze, eyes going wide as she processed what she had just said. His brow quirked and she couldn’t be sure, but what looked like a small smile ghosted across his lips. However, as quickly as it had appeared it was gone again and he was letting out a scoff.

“Doesn’t matter, It’s all bullshit anyways.” One of his hands left his pockets and swiped roughly across his face. Scarlett’s heart stuttered painfully in her chest, was he crying? She looked away as he looked back at her, not wanting to be caught staring.

“Well...later I guess,” attempting a small smile she turned away and took a cautious step forward. Her eyes screwed shut and she sucked in a painful breath before letting it out slowly. This was going to be the longest walk of her life. One step, “ow”. Two steps, “Fuck”. Three steps, “God dammit!”

Steve stared after the barefooted blonde as she slowly limped away from him. He could plainly see the goosebumps on her bare skin, and honestly wasn’t sure if she could even make it down the street let alone home with the way she was wobbling. Heaving a sigh he called after her.

“Wait, wait, wait” she paused, humming as she looked over her shoulder at him, swaying slightly. “You’re not walking home like that, come on, I’ll give you a ride.” As if to emphasis his words Steve stepped up to the BMW, and unlocked the passenger door before pulling it open and looking pointedly in her direction. “Oh, I can walk.” she said aloud, though it sounded more like a question than a statement as it left her lips. Truth was Scarlett wasn’t entirely sure she could walk, but with the way she was putting her foot in her mouth tonight she wasn’t sure she wanted to be in a confined space with the clearly distraught boy either.

“Bullshit,” he called. “You can barely take two steps without falling over. So just, just get in the car...please, I can’t have anyone else on my conscious” he pleaded, hand tugging tiredly on the back of his neck. Scarlett worried her lower lip as she stared back at the weary boy before her. The emotional baggage bomb he casually dropped made walking suddenly seem a little less like a bad idea. However, a sharp twinge in her ankle quickly made her push past the strange comment and she gave him a weak smile.

“Yeah, O.K. A ride would be good.” She limped back towards Steve who met her half way. After helping her maneuver into the passenger seat he closed the door and quickly rounded the car. Steve slid into his seat, deflating almost completely once in the safety of the vehicle.

“Where to?” He asked, glancing over at her as he started the car, engine springing to life, Bananarama’s Cruel Summer blaring over the radio. “Sorry,” he muttered, reaching out to lower the volume.

“Uh, I live off of Maple Drive.” She answered, pulling her seat belt across her lap as he put the car in drive and pulled away from the disaster that was Tina’s Halloween party. The low hum of the radio helped cut through some of the awkward silence, but that apparently wasn’t enough for Scarlett’s inebriated brain. “Soooo,” she began nervously fiddling with the ends of the pony tail that draped over her shoulder. “Look’s like your night went about as well as mine.” She tried to inject a little humor into her voice, but it fell flat.

“Did Hargrove do that?” Steve asked, and Scarlett stared back at him in confusion with a ‘huh?’, not following his train of thought. He nodded his head in her direction, eyes looking pointedly towards her bruised knees and injured ankle.

“Oh, ummm kinda?” Her hands ghosting over the scrapes and bruises, eyes falling to her lap. “He’s the kinda guy who thinks no means yes, you know?” She mused softly “and when you enforce no, sometimes you end up with some collateral damage.” Turning her gaze back to him she gave him a toothy smile, trying to brush off his concern. “Im’ma tough girl though, and I can handle myself.” She babbled, happy to fill the silence.

“So, do you wanna talk about it?” She asked, turning the conversation away from herself, and her folly's. “I know you don’t know me, and I don’t know you, not really...but that kinda also makes me the perfect person to talk to, completely third party. Also I’m a bit drunk, so you have a fifty-fifty shot of me even remembering what you said.” That earned an amused snort, and Scarlett counted it as a minor victory.

“You’re not that drunk,” he argued and she shrugged.

“I’m not, not drunk. Just good at holding my alcohol, lots of practice.” A playful wink was sent in his direction and he shook his head at her, rolling his eyes. The two fell back into silence, albeit this time a more comfortable one. Turning her gaze out the window Scarlett recognized the cross streets, they would arrive at her place in a couple minutes.

“She said...she said it was all bullshit,” Steve’s voice startled Scarlett, her head swiveling back around to listen to him, surprised that he was actually talking about it to her. “That I was bullshit, that...that we were bullshit.” His brows furrowed, lips pursing as he said the words aloud. Brown eyes flashed to her green ones, and in that instant he wasn’t King Steve, but just a heartbroken teenager trying to figure out where they went wrong.

“I knew she was struggling...after everything that happened last year, we all were.” He mused, not that Scarlett knew what he meant by everything, but she stayed silent, doing her best to be a good listener. “I guess I just...I just thought that if I...I dunno...” Pausing he ran a practiced hand through his hair, Scarlett's eyes tracking the movement and marveling at the way his hair never strayed from it’s polished place atop his head. “I guess I thought that I could be strong enough, for both of us.” He finally sighed after a long moment, shaking his head, face contorting into a look of frustration. “And look where that got me! But what else was I supposed to do? It wasn’t like we were allowed to talk about it!” He exclaimed, hand smacking the wheel in frustration making Scarlett jump. Sucking in a deep breath he let it out slowly, giving her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, that was probably way more than you wanted to know.”

She waved off his apology, giving him what she hoped was a reassuring look. “I asked.” The BMW pulled onto Maple Drive and Scarlett pointed out her house, Steve pulling up to the curb. She didn’t move right away, chewing on her lip as she thought of what to say.

“I’m probably not the best person for relationship advice,” she began slowly “but, what I do know is that relationship’s are a two way street.” Unbuckling her seat belt she shifted to better face him. “It sounds like somewhere along the way yours turned into a one way and odds are it wasn’t either of your faults, you know?” He frowned, eyes falling to the steering wheel as he thought over her words.

The porch light flickered on, catching Scarlett’s attention. Looking past Steve she felt her mood sour as Trish stepped onto the front porch, arms crossed and hip popped in the tell tale sign of annoyance. “Fuck,” Scarlett muttered, catching Steve’s attention once again. He followed her gaze, raising a brow.

“Your mom?” He asked.

“Step-mom,” she corrected, reaching for the door handle. “Very angry step-mom. Probably has something to do with my five O’clock curfew, or something. Who really knows.” She shrugged, wincing as she moved to get out of the car, ankle protesting at the weight being put on it once more. Steve unbuckled his own seat belt, moving to help her to the porch when Scarlett held up a hand, halting his movements. “It’s probably best if you just...stay here.”

“You sure?” He questioned, eyes flickering to her swollen appendage before darting back up to her face. She gave him an exaggerated grin.

“Remember, tough girl. If I can handle Hargrove, I can handle a couple of feet on a bad ankle.” He looked like he wanted to argue so she continued on. “Besides, I feel bad enough as is, you know for making you take me home, and all. Thanks again for that, by the way.” Her smile softened, turning more sincere.

“Don’t mention it,” He gave her a meek smile in return.

Moving to shut the door she paused, bending back down to catch Steve’s eye. “And Steve, for what it’s worth...even if it’s not a lot coming from someone you don’t know...I don’t think your bullshit.” The genuine smile he gave her caused a flurry of butterflies to erupt in her stomach and she was glad for the cool night air that helped disguise the tinge of pink that was warming it’s way up her neck and onto her cheeks. “Well, uh G’night” she slammed the door, and took a couple quick steps away from the car, doing her best to not look over her shoulder. A moment later she heard the car pull away from the curb and only when she was sure it was a safe distance away did she glance back, watching as his tail lights faded away.

Tag list: @stevieboyharrington

#steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington reader #steve harrington oc #stranger things imagine #stranger things #stranger things 2 #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader

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lubdubsworld · 7 years ago

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Under my skin (Namjoon/Oc)

Chapter 5

"What do you wear to a non date? You know where you go out with a guy but you don't want him to think it's a date? Because you're not into him that way… " I say casually, watching my roommate as she digs through her closet , wrapped in a fluffy white towel .

She's got an interview in a few hours and she gives me a look of long-suffering, eyes hooded and mouth twisting downwards in displeasure.

"Ae Rin-ah, you know how I feel about your stunted emotions , your lack of a love life and your fashion sense, why would you put all three of those things in one sentence, it makes me nauseous.." She mutters.

"Don't be a bitch. Come on, toss me a bone here."

"Is this the back up dancer you've been sleeping with?" She says with a frown, laying out her own outfit and then going back in to dig through her clothes. As a fashion major she usually had an excess of dresses and t shirts and pants lying around.

"Uh…" I hesitate just a bit. " Not exactly. "

“Then?”

“it’s his friend.” I mutter under my breath. Jiah frowns deeper and pulls out three dresses, decent calf length gowns with stitched hems and puffy, flowy sleeves. They look decidedly feminine and i wrinkle my nose.

“How close of a friend are we talking here? Your fuck buddy is okay with you going around with his friend?”

“It’s not that serious. Remember that cafe I told you about? The one in Gangnam? He’s got tickets for the weekly exhibit and I just want to see it!” I say briskly, grabbing a periwinkle blue dress and holding it up against my body. i’m not fashinably thin, but not exactly voluptuous either. The wide neckline would be wasted on me.

“Wait, is this the same exhibition you’ve been salivating over for years ? The one where you can’t get tickets unless you’re super rich or super connected or something?”

“Yup..” i hum, reaching for the next gown. It’s a soft pink, not garish or overdone and i like it. There’s some lacy white overlay near the neck and pink bows on the sleeves and Jesus, is that a satin bowtie? It’s definitely girly though, and I feel like a little feminity never hurts, you know?

Except when I hold it up, it falls a few inches short of my knee. Too much skin.

Rejected.

Jiah let out a low whistle.

“He got you tickets to a show like that? That sounds very.. romantic and date-y? Okay, does he know you’re not into him.??”

I make a noise of impatience.

“Of course, I told him that.”

“then why do you feel the need to convey it through oyour clothes as well? if you guys already talked about it, and he knows you’re not interested him, then wear whatever you feel like.” She sounds perfectly sensible, of course , but I still feel a cloying sense of guilt in the pit of my stomach. i don’t know what it is that’s triggering all these negative emoitons in me.

“I just...Wanna be safe i guess. I don’t know ... i don’t want to hurt either of them.” I say, feeling silly. there’s nothing to be hurt here, i think firmly. there’s no prospect of a serious relationship with either of them anyway. it’s absolutely foolish to even think of something like that.

they’re superstars.

I’m a struggling photographer who takes pictures of them. Yoongi just.. well, he likes me for a quick lay, possibly because I could hold a conversation with him when he wanted me to.

And Namjoon... Namjoon was...

“Ae Rin? Rin.. You listening?!”

I startle, blinking back to focus on her.

“Uh.. yeah?”

“I said, don’t be the reason their friendship gets shot to hell. it’s a shitty thing to do. “ She says firmly and I nod absently, reaching for the burgundy gown with the lace lining. it looked classy, perfect for a photo exhibit.

“I’m not getting involved with either of them.” I say firmly, testing the soft silk of the gown. it looks expensive too, texture like flowing water over my fingers.

“So you say. But honestly, you know that these sex only relationships are never that, right? You end up catching feelings in the end and then it all gets shot to hell. You don’t want that distraction...”

You see , over the years, I’v realized something.

Jiah is smart.

And I’m a reckless fool.

I ignore her warning and get dressed slowly, texting my location to Namjoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He picks me up in a blue Porsche Cayenne. I fidget uncontrollably as he comes around to open the car door for me, dressed in fitting blue jeans and a plain white button down, face hidden by a mask and hair swept up underneath his fedora. He looks like an idol, even without the fanfare, body taut and firm: all 181 cm of him.

He greets me normally, because he’s a normal human being, while I try not to feel like an bull in a china shop, fumbling over my syllables like an idiot.

“You’re late.” I blurt out stupidly and his eyes crinkle like he’s smiling. It’s a shame i can’t catching sight of the dimples that are no doubt underneath that mask.

He’s incredibly tall, up close and i struggle to feel less like a bug as he helps me into the seat, the musky scent of expensive perfume and clean male skin hitting me in all the right places . Or should I say , wrong places.

“I’m sorry, I was held up a bit by traffic. I hope you’ll forgive me. ” He whispers, eyes fixing on mine with alarming force. It’s almost physically restrictive,. his gaze. Like arms gripping my waist and pinning me to the seat.

Breathing has never been harder.

It’s new and terrifying, this foreign feeling of nervousness and guilt. And it confuses me completely. Namjoon isn’t the sort of person I usually admire.

Not to say he isn’t attractive.

He’s intensely masculine, unforgivingly male and there’s just this something in him that would make any girl want to... get down on her knees .

For not-so innocent reasons.

And that scares me.

Attarction is one thing : but something about Namjoon tells me he’s dangerous.All consuming. The sort of person who would demand too much. Demand it all. He would probably want to own the girl he got together with.

Well, if you had to belong to someone, he’s not a bad choice a voice snickers in the back of my mind.

i know that voice. It’s the same voice that makes me follow idols to five star hotels and let them take naked photos of me. That voice is not to be trusted.

When he slips behind the car wheel, I can’t help but stare at his veiny forearms, the quiet strength of his fingers as he grips the wheel. He’s a confident driver but not cautious like Yoongi. There’s a bit of a rashness in the way he drives, not wild per se but just a little out of the comfort zone.

You know what they say about the way a man drives and the way he is in bed, the voice is back, this time too loud. Namjoon looks like he could be into some freaky stuff.

My face is flaming red and I already wish I’d just refused him.

“The Photographer this week is In Sook Kim... You like her right? I read that she’s your favorite photographer” He says casually and I pull myself together.

“Read?”

“Your thesis on Florence. It was published in that magazine... i read it.”

“ She talks about a lot of things : abstarct stuff that people ususlaly tend to ignore. i love that about her. She makes me feel like, ... even if i’m not someone famous or well-known...i’m still special. I want to recreate that sometimes.... ” I say softly, momentarily forgetting my nervousness.

“She’s done a lot of projects...”

“I studied one of them. Muses... it came out in 2004. “ I smile brightly.

“The one with the women from the S and M club?” He smiles faintly, reaching out to take his mask off and it’s a bit like getting a floodlight shoved into my face, the sharp features and the bright gaze.

“uh.. yeah.. That one.. You know it?” i’m surprised.

“Of course. it’s one of her famous works. I have two copies of it on my bedroom wall.”

I try not to think of him on his bed , staring up at photos of submissive women in a Sado-Masochism club.

But i can’t control my face and he laughs.

“Don’t tell me you’re a conservative woman? “

“I.. no .. of course not. To each their own.” I say swiftly.

“Hmm... Personally , i think everyone should try BDSM , once .” He shakes his head.

I struggle to draw in my next breath.

“I.. uh.. yeah, sure.”

He must’ve caught the way my voice stuttered.

“Am i making you uncomfortable?” He looks very unapologetic, almost amused.

Very much.

“Not at all. But then, not everyone is like that” I say almost defensively. The very phrase brings out a visceral reaction in me. I’ve seen woman hand over control to men. i’ve seen men take that control, take that power and break that woman down till she stops existing.

“Like what?” He sais gently.

I bite my lips.

“Weak and submissive.” i say finally.

Namjoon laughs out loud

“Weak Submissives? There’s no such thing as a weak submissive, Ae Rin ssi... Submissives are usually very strong people. People who are strong enough to trust their Dom with themselves.” He turned slightly, something challenging in his gaze.

I swallow.

“Well, I wouldn’t know.” I snap. “ I’m not one!”

He makes a soft , soothing sound that oddly comforts me.

“I’m sorry if that ruffles your feathers, aegi , I just made a general observation.”

Aegi? did he just call me aegi? I'm not his baby!! . I should be mad, I thought trying to summon up some irritation at the phrase. But all i can feel is warmth spreading out to my toes.

“I... I’m sorry too. I just.. I shouldn’t have snapped.” I say feeling oddly scolded.

“Let’s talk something fun, where would you like to have dinner tonight? I have reservation for a Chinese, A Thai and a Continental Place. You pick.” He smiles brightly.

We talk a bit about our favorites and decide on the Thai place, by which time we’ve reached the cafe.

As we pull up to the entrance. i glance at the board set up on front. The place is oddly empty and uncrowded which was surprising because the cafe is usually bustling with people.

Private Viewing Scheduled. Visitors Prohibited.

“What?” I say confused when he comes around and helps me out.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.. i hope you’ll enjoy this.” He says almost apologetically and i fellt my heart leap into my throat as I follow him into the loungue. The staff greet Namjoon with familiarity, even hugging him.

“Is she here?” He says brightly and my heart stops.

“No.. No!1 Kim Namjoon, No!!” I hiss, stunned.

“You said you like her! You can tell her that in person. She’s in the last room. “

“You.. You’re not..?”

“coming with? Of course not! This is your present. Enjoy it to the fullest.” He smiles brightly. “ I’ll be right here. You can take as long as you want. Our reservation isn’t till eight. That gives you..” He glances at his watch “ Four hours at least.”

I stare at him, fighting the overwhelming urge to fling myself into his arms .

“I .. Thank you...I...”

“You can thank me by buying me ice cream the next time we go out.” He smiles and the casual way he tells me he wants to meet me again isn’t entirely lost on me.

I try to ignore my pounding , breathless heart and move to the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t take me four hours. I spend an hour and twenty minutes with the lady, a bright middle aged woman with a pleasant smile. She’s very humble and answers my question with a lot of patience.

“I don’t usually meet fans or attend private schedulings. But Namjoon’s mother is an old friend and he’s never called me in for a favor before.” She smiles, when I finally shake hands with her to bid her farewell.

“I.. Thank you. I had such a great time.” My find feels like a well soaked sponge with all the information I’ve crammed into it. She had been kind enough to let me record some of her more complicated ideas, the ones I was afraid I would forget once i got home.

“He told me you’re interested in an internship, now that you’ve finished your Degree. My studio does take interns... You’re welcome to apply with your portfolio.” She smiles then and i know my jaw has hit the floor.

“I... really? Are you serious? I mean.. i’m not that good!! ” I’m too stunned to respond properly.

“Of course. And don’t be so hard on yourself. You got that scholarship didn’t you? The same scholarship, I myself failed to get .” She winks.

I nod , feeling lost and overwhelmed.

“I’ll send it in...I will. Thank you so much.” I say softly.

“Namjoon’s a nice kid. Bit old fashioned , but a nice kid. I hope you treat him well.” She says gently, her eyes warm and soft and it scares me momentarily, the sincerity in her tone. My throat goes try and i quickly shake my head.

“Oh, no... No! We’re not together. I.. i have a boyfriend!” I say stupidly. She looks surprised.

“Oh.. really? I assumed... When namjoon said... Oh well,” She looks very confused but smiles. “ I’m sorry if i made you uncomfortable.” She finishes awkwardly.

When I leave the room, my mind is still running in circles. I’m not an idiot. I know that Namjoon isn’t one either. What he’s done today... it goes beyond the boundaries of friendship. Far beyond it.

And it’s the most terrifying thing I’ve ever felt. Fingers trembling, I make my way to the loungue where I know he’s waiting. He catches sight of me and if i needed anymore proof , it’s there in the way his face lights up when he sees me, twin dimples lighting up on his face.

i can’t summon up the smile that I ought to give him. In it’s place is liquid terror, spreading through my veins.

What are you seeing, when you see me? A pretty young girl with a bright dream? That’s not who i am! There are so many demons inside my skull... they’ll destroy you if you come anywhere near me , Namjoon -ah...

“Hey! Did you have fun....” His smile fades when he sees me and I stop trying to hide it.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He says nervously and i swallow.

“I.. I’m fine. I was just wondering how Yoongi would have enjoyed the exhibit too ” I lie blatantly and it’s funny, how he wears his heart on his sleeve, how his mile gets wiped off his lips and hie eyes lose that sparkle.

“Thank you for today. I learned so much from her . She even told me I could apply to be an intern and..” I babble mindlessly .

Namjoon stares at me for a long moment.

“I'm happy that you’re happy.” He says softly and I feel out of my depth.

Later as we sit down to dinner, he tells me about his family, his dog and his little sister.

“What about your family?” He says casually reaching across the table to refill my wine glass.

“Uh.. My parents died when I was six.” I say softly. “ I grew up with my stepfather , till I got the scholarship to study in Seoul univ.”

“Is he still around?”

“Uh...I wish he wasn’t.” I say before I can put a stopper on my thoughts. Namjoon glances up sharply and his dimples peek out.

“Ah... that explains a lot.”

“Sorry?”

“the distrust... the way you always keep glancing at the door ... the way you steer the conversation away from amything personal. I bet you’re one of those rare girls who think that a dinner date is far more intimate that a night of hot and heavy sex...” He smiles thoughtfully. I’m momentarily stunned into silence.

“That’s not... I’m not like that...” I say sharply.

“It’s not a flaw. Plenty of girls out there have daddy issues. Most of them, in fact. “ He shrugs.

i feel suddenly affronted.

“I do not have Daddy issues, what the fuck...” The words are out before I can stop myself and he grins.

“That’s more like it.” He whispers.

“What?” I snap.

“This is more like you. the swearing, The blazing eyes. The heaving breasts. you look like a goddess when you’re angry. You’ve been wearing a mask this evening and I really wish you’d be yourself with me. ” He leans forward and I resist the urge to toss the wine on his face.

“You’re insufferable...i want to leave.” I almost stand but his hand shoots out and grips my wrist, so tight that I whimper, the sound strangled out of me.

“Don’t be scared, baby. I'm just being honest He whispers.

“This isn’t a date. Stop calling me that.” I grit out. He lets my wrist go and I wipe at the skin moodily.

“I know it isn’t a date. I never said it was. “ He shrugs. And then he looks up and there’s a flash of something in his gaze.

“But I hope the next one will be.” He says softly.

I stare at him and suddenly it strikes me how foolish I’ve been. Of course he’s going to be just like the rest of them.

“You want to have sex with me?” I say blankly.

“I want to get to know you. To date you... “ He corrects me, leaning forward.

“You don’t have to splurge for another date. I could blow you in the rest room if you like.” I say it just to shock him but it angers him instead.

“Shut up. Yell back at me if you want... don’t fucking degrade yourself like that. You’re worth far more than a blowjob in a rest room, you silly fool.” He snarls. The words momentarily frighten me.

“Well, that’s where you’re fucking wrong. I’m not worth ‘ more’. And I’m going to pass on the date. i already have a fuck buddy.” I say softly , leaning back.

“Yoongi hyung? I know you don’t feel anything for him... You’re using him .You think he’s a safe bet because he’ll never ask for more than what you give. But me...I scare you” He smiles softly and it’s frightening how accurate he is.

I laugh in disbelief.

“You think you’re better than him? He took me to the Park Hyatt on our first date..He booked the honeymoon suite for 5000 dollars that night.....i’ve already slept with him a dozen times. i don’t even know you that well. “ I sound snobbish but the urge to wipe that smirk off his face is overwhelming.

Namjoon smiles.

“Yoongi hyung has a scar on his shoulder. Which one? Left or right?” He smiles.

“What?” I blink.

“The scar on his shoulder.... which shoulder...?

“I..” I stop drawing a complete blank. did he have a scar?

“The curtains in your honeymoon suite... do you remember what color they were? “ He smiles , “ the bedsheets.. were they satin or silk...? Do you remeber the conversation you had with him during dinner? Do you remeber what he was wearing that night?”

It feels a bit like I’ve been sucker punched. i don’t remember any of those stuff. Had never felt the need to ..

“i.. That’s.. Those are physical things.. they don’t mean anything...”

“Oh they would. If Yoongi means anything... those things would mean something too.... But we both know he doesn’t...”

“Stop.. Namjoon...”

“Give me a chance, Ae Rin.” He says firmly, leaning forward.

“Take me home.”

“Ae Rin.”

“We’re done. Take me home. Now!!”.

He doesn’t protest. But when he drops me off, his face is somber.

“I’m not going to back off.” He whispers.

“Good night Kim namjoon ssi.”

#bts namjoon #bts fanfics #rap monster #kim namjoon #bts imagines

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warriorqueen1991 · 7 years ago

Text

Memoria (pt. One )

Setting: takes place over 6 months after Desierto Characters: Sam X Claire (OC) Warnings: some angst ♡This is my first fic so please be gentle lol sorry if there are any punctuation or grammar errors I will try to do better next time...if you would like to be tagged in further works please pm me or you can just leave a comment telling me so, thank you so much for taking the time to read my fic it means the world to me... I hope you enjoy :) ♡♡♡ THANK YOU SO MUCH @fuck-yeah-lets-do-negan-ff for giving me the courage to finally post a fic I couldn't of done without you ;) AND THANK YOU @noodlecupcakes for being my beta :) the honor was all mine --------------------------------------- Claire watched as the man continued to remain motionless, his elbows resting on his knees as his hazel eyes stayed fixated on the eggshell white linoleum below his feet, even after she had broken the silence with the polite clearing of her throat. Claire opened her notepad and tapped her grey pen twice on its edge before shifting her right leg over the other. Just as she was about to say something a sudden exhale of breath stopped her, her mouth remaining open before she quickly shut it as the older man ran his long fingers through his salt and pepper hair causing it to stand up in the front. She blinked surprised by his sudden movements after almost an hour of complete silence. "Sam?" Claire questioned as his eyes darted from the floor to her before quickly shifting back into the hard plastic chair folding his toned arms across his chest letting out a couple puffs of air before squeezing his eyes shut tapping his heel on the floor. "Sam...i'm here to help you. But I can't help if you don't talk to me". Sam's eyes cracked opened slightly before he quickly got to his feet. Sam was clad in a pair of grey comfortably loose lounge pants and a white tank that clung to his lean form as he made his way to the opposite wall limping slightly on his left leg the wall the same dull white as the floor. "Sam!....i'm gonna show up here every day for the next month rather you decide to talk to me or not". Sighing heavily she ran her hand through her long black hair "wouldn't it be polite to at least make the most of my time?" Sam turned to her resting his back against the wall "i'm not sure what...." he paused shifting from one foot to the other his eyes darting around the room before settling back on her green eyes. "What do you want me to talk about?" his voice was barely a raspy whisper as Claire leaned forward against her crossed knees "Sam you can talk about anything you want...i'm here for you...Consider me a willing ear" she smiled softly . Claire glanced down at her notes before returning her gaze to Sam who was eyeing her almost suspiciously walking back over to the chair he had previously occupied. The chair squeaked slightly as Sam slumped back in it in defeat "A willing ear!" He parroted in a monotonous whisper "Ma'am..." "please call me Claire" she cut him off with a raised hand ". Sam stared at her for a moment emotionless before huffing out another deep sigh running his hand over his neatly trimmed salt and pepper beard "Ma'am I don't know who I am!...I can't remember anything prior to waking up in the hospital with tubes down my throat and rods in my leg" his voice was steadily rising as he glared at her his brow creasing as he balled his large fists "so please... tell me what the FUCK I'm supposed to talk about when I couldn't even remember my own damn name three months ago?" Sam was yelling now as he got back to his feet wobbling slightly due to his weak leg grabbing the back of the chair to gain some balance. Claire stared up at him a look of sympathy on her face instead of the fear Sam was looking for instead she smiled "Sam you can talk to me about what you did yesterday, or the day before or what you're thinking about" she was calmly gesturing with her small hands as his breathing began to slow down "everything is relevant here Sam! It's my job to try and help you cope with your trauma and this is the best way I know how". She stared into his blazing eyes as he frowned down at her before glaring back at the row of high set windows behind him "please Sam let me at least try" she whispered Sam sighed letting his shoulders slump slightly before he made his way behind his chair grasping the back to lean on it taking the weight off his leg. "fine" he paused again mouth a gap as if he wasn't sure how to express himself. Claire sighed "Sam it's ok" she glanced back down at her notes flipping the page before scanning a couple more lines before looking back up at his tall frame "did you have another nightmare last night?" Sam glared at her tapping his long fingers on the back of the chair a couple times before jerking away Stalking around the room like a caged animal "so what if I did huh?" He growled stopping his stomping around before making his way back to the chair rubbing his leg in irritation "it's that PTSD shit or whatever..." he hissed sitting back down with a huff "I'm having nightmares about a war I don't even remember" he sighed rubbing the back of his neck before glancing back to Claire "I hate this" he mumbled letting his face drop lacing his fingers behind his head swaying back and forth between his knees letting them bounce nervously. Claire reached out gently placing her warm hand on his cool one seeking to comfort him. But the sudden contact caused him to jerk away his breathing coming out in quick puffs as he stared wide eyed at her before calming down with a relieved sigh his eyes turning soft with regret as he quickly looked away from her "sorry" he whispered almost too low for her to hear "if I'm being honest here it's not just nightmares anymore doc" Claire watched him as he continued to avoid eye contact "yesterday I was...I was just standing outside having a smoke when..." Sam seemed to get lost his hazel eyes clouding over as he stared off into space. Claire cocked her head slightly "Sam?" The man in question blinked rapidly before taking a deep ragged breath the visions of bright sand and blood with the sounds of gun shots echoing in his head. "Uh...I..." Claire shook her head silencing him "Sam it's ok...are you trying to tell me your memories are surfacing outside of rem sleep?" Sam snorted his mouth turning up in a slight smile letting one of his dimples shine through his beard "if that means I'm having fucked up visions of dead people doc then ya" the slight smile faded quicker than it appeared as he closed his eyes once more "truth is" he sighed "I don't know if I want to remember doc" Claire bit her bottom lip gazing at him in sympathy she couldn't imagine what it would be like to wake up and have no memory of who you are or what you've done. With the mystery surrounding why he was out in the middle of the desert with no food or water with no camp in sight with a shattered leg making him even more interesting Claire just wanted him to smile more, a truly genuine smile. She wanted him to be happy. Sam was sinking in a sea of guilt for a crime he had no memory of, he was torturing himself and didn't know why. Claire wanted to help him forgive himself and find a way to start over and just maybe they could figure this mystery out together. Claire watched as he leaned back into the chair staring up at the ceiling "tell me Sam...when you say you don't want to remember is it because you're afraid of your past?" Sam chewed the inside of his cheek as his gaze landed on her briefly before falling to the floor. Claire looked to the floor with him her eyes darting to his hands as he began rubbing them together "Sam?" She questioned softly "why are you afraid to remember?" He shook his head slowly before meeting her green gaze with his hazel one she couldn't help but smile; his eyes were a beautiful mixture of greens and browns. Sam noticed her observations and quickly returned his eyes back to the floor feeling her frown....he didn't want her seeing the damage in his eyes. He didn't want her to somehow find who he once was staring back out at her, if the eyes are the windows to the soul then he needed to keep his shut. "I can feel it ya know?" Sam whispered his head still bent avoiding her forgiving stare "know what?" Her soft voice asked. Sam glanced up at her briefly holding her eyes while he spoke "I'm not a good person" his eyes retreated to his clasped hands running his fingers on his right hand across the back of his left before running it across his forehead with a deep exhale. Claire nodded "why so sure?" "Call it a hunch" Sam grumbled picking at something on his lounge pants. "Sam....can you look at me for a moment please?" Claire’s voice coming out more commanding than she had been aiming for, silently she prayed she hadn't scared him off. Startled Sam jerked his attention to her face a deep frown meeting one of her own She watched as several emotions flashed through his beautiful eyes until fear settled in as the dominant. "This is an opportunity to start over" Claire shifted in her seat keeping the eye contact she knew was making him uncomfortable clearing her throat quietly before continuing "Sam the doctors agreed that there was a high chance your memories wouldn't return". Sam's eyes twitched almost closing but quickly centered back on hers a small huff of humorless laughter escaping his throat "what a relief" "look Sam what I'm trying to say is don't worry ok" Claire had a small smile on her face "who you were is not who you are now, not if you don't want it to be". Sam sighed finally dropping his gaze in relief "I thought your job was to get me to remember?" She shook her head "No Sam, my job is to help you feel comfortable with yourself enough so that you can work on gaining some manner of control over your life". Sam eyed her over gesturing slowly between them "so...what? we just bullshit back and forth?" He watched as the woman before him smile grew bringing light to her features "exactly Sam just innocent communication between friends, I have no motive here" she was surprised to see his features suddenly harden "is that what we are doc?" Claire's smile faded and Sam was almost sad to see it go but he was getting tired of this. "I'm sorry?" She questioned her face now tense with confusion. Sam's gaze hardened further "friends doc...really?" he made a small displeased noise before leaning forward "we just met lady, if anything we are semi friendly acquaintances" his tone was gruff and almost hurt Claire sighed "I'm sorry Sam I didn't mean to upset you I just meant that if given the opportunity..." she smiled softly "I'd like to be friends" Sam snorted a sneer spreading across his handsome face "you're in the same damn sinking ship as I am lady, I mean isn't it normal for friends to share things about one another?" Claire shifted her weight running a loose strand of hair behind her ear feeling a slight twinge of mirth at the fact he had chosen to demote her from "doc" to "lady" it seemed he was pulling away "yes Sam and that's what we're gonna do" he growled "you know as much about me as I do...not much to share". Claire huffed in annoyance before slipping back into her mask of professional civility "Sam I understand. You're obviously uncomfortable with divulging your emotions and being open with someone, you're lost, you're afraid, and you feel alone". Claire watched as the hurt flashed across his hazel eyes his gaze falling to the floor the muscle in his jaw visibly tensing as she watched his confidence retreat "and your right" she continued "so let me rephrase" slowly she reached her hand out to him as his gaze wandered to her outstretched hand "let me be your first friend...and help you start a new life" Sam glanced up meeting her green eyes, she was right and a part of him wanted someone to care enough to help him so with brief reluctance he clasped his rough hand around hers giving it one solid shake "fine doc" he retreated his hand back to his lap with a heavy sigh "you win" Claire smiled "then I will see you tomorrow". **I'm tagging some of you in hopes of getting my fic around, once again I'm sorry if you didn't want to be tagged I would really appreciate some feedback or constructive criticism in trying to make it better...you guys seriously are my inspiration :) ♡♡♡ @ashzombie13 @may85 @jdmfanfiction @dixonsbait @ladylorelitany @artemisxeros @stormyskydancer

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