#and yeah not that i believe a person needs to suffer terribly before they're allowed access to trans-aligned surgeries

[lemondoddle]

Transmeds aren't "nasties" btw

We are just trying to keep trenders like you from stealing resources from actual trans people who suffer from gender dysphoria.

Wuh-oh folks!

Looks like we got a

CERTIFIED NASTY RIGHT HERE!!!

Get outta here stinky!

[howtofightwrite]

Hey I'm reading a book where a character is in an underground boxing match (with gloves, not bare-knuckle, so they're using some equipment), and while descriptions are kinda sparse it is stating that she's wearing jeans, sneakers and a tee shirt to do multiple rounds of boxing. That can't be right, can it? Or am I the wrong one and is it a not-terrible idea to regularly engage in boxing matches in street clothes like this?

So, with the important caveat that: I wouldn't want to do that, it's not impossible, just unpleasant.

You would sweat up your clothes pretty badly while practicing. Jeans aren't the most comfortable clothes to be wearing when you take a blunt hit, they'll chafe and suffer serious wear and tear. Footwear from the street causes several problems, and simply switching to gym shoes won't solve them.

Fighters shed their clothes because getting your own shirt and your opponent's glove driven into you by a punch is marginally more unpleasant than your opponent's glove alone.

Beyond that, there's a pretty decent chance of getting some blood on them, even in a contained environment. Bloodstains are kinda annoying to get out of clothes. Personally, I've always used a stiff bristled brush (sometimes even an old toothbrush), and bar soap, scrubbing out the blood before it's had time to set, and that's seemed to work pretty well, but it's a bit time intensive, and needs to be dealt with relatively quickly. Needless to say, that's less of an option during a bout, and downright annoying during practice.

There is also a (somewhat minor) danger of someone trying to choke out another fighter with their opponent's shirt. Clearly, it would be disqualifying (and probably get the offender permanently kicked out), but it's an entirely avoidable scenario. While the gloves mitigate it, there's also a risk of getting fingers caught in your opponent's clothes and breaking them. This is more of a consideration in an actual brawl, but it is one more reason you probably wouldn't want competitors wearing shirts.

Interestingly, martial arts that prioritize throws, such as Judo or Aikido, tend to practice with a shirt (or, more specifically a gi), because it provides points to grip, and throw, the opponent. Getting punched while wearing a gi isn't going to be more fun than if you're wearing a shirt, but it's not strictly ceremonial.

Wearing shoes is a pretty bad idea for a couple reasons, depending on the rules. If there's a strict, “no blows below the waist,” restriction, you'll still get fighters accidentally stepping on each other's feet from time to time, and that's a lot less pleasant if they're wearing shoes. If kicking is allowed, shoes will dramatically increase the damage of a kick. Further, if participants are allowed to wear street footwear, you'd see a transition from sneakers to reinforced boots that provided protection from getting stomped on, and allowed for inflicting more serious kicks.

Outside of organized sport fighting, stepping on one of your opponent's feet, then closing distance and pushing them off balance can dramatically shift control of the fight. You can do this in your bare feet, but footwear makes it easier to lock an opponent in place. To be clear, you can reposition, and even walk without lifting your feet off the ground, but it's not something most people train for outside of dance or some martial arts schools, including karate. So this isn't always effective, but for most people who internally think walking involves lifting their foot and taking a step, you can keep them where they are.

So, is this believable? From an underground boxing group without a lot of history? Yeah, I could see people doing something stupid like this. Though, I suspect that over time the shirts and shoes would go, simply because sooner or later someone would find a way to abuse those. How long would it take for that to happen? I'm honestly not sure, and there might be social norms which would keep those around. While it wouldn't be jeans and sneakers, but 19thcentury boxers would have kept their undershirts, pants, and shoes on.

Context is also important, if this is some kind of fight club, then it tracks, but if this is organized underground fighting ring, with betting and spectators, getting the participants to show some skin is also part of the show. If people are gambling, they'd want to see the fighters getting dinged up, as that drives future betting. More than that, it's about entertainment, so titillation is something that can draw in an audience, and incentivize further betting.

Another big question mark is, “multiple rounds.” Normally, there's a lot of downtime between fights, for an individual fighter. This is because, even if you're victorious, you're going to take some hits, and those will have a cumulative effect on your ability to fight (or, even continue breathing.) An unscrupulous underground arena might play a little fast and loose with this, but even then, a fighter who's worn down by their previous bouts will eventually fall, and the arena doesn't want to field bets in a fight where one fighter is half-dead, while going up against fresh competitors.

If it seems like I'm making a big deal about the gambling, when you're looking at organized underground fighting rings, gambling is the business, and everything else exists in service of that.

So, is it believable? Kinda. It's not flawless writing, and without more context, some of the mistakes are more or less forgivable.

You're not wrong, it is a bad idea to wear street clothes into a match like this, but it is possible, and in an ad hoc fight club, it's quite possible for the characters to make these mistakes on their own. That said, it's likely the author didn't realize these were mistakes, so that is on them.

-Starke

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[duskcourse]

Duskcourse Controversial Takes - 3

There is actually nothing wrong with "fakers" or endogenic systems using DID/OSDD-1 resources.

Yes this includes therapy for DID/OSDD-1

Yes this includes specialists for DID/OSDD-1.

Yes this includes community made resources.

Yes this includes them using resources for Systems.

Yes this includes products made to aid people with dissociation and DID/OSDD-1.

Yes this even includes the ability to take part in studies, events, and support groups.

At first upon seeing this post there are many people who would quite frankly refer to me as a monster who wants to see everyone with my disorder suffer and hurt. A lot of people (especially those who are able bodied) have preconceived notions about the impact of resources being used by a variety of people including those who may have no relation to the condition whatsoever. Yeah I'm saying singlets can also use our resources.

As someone who's physically disabled and lives with my partner who is also physically disabled I am deeply acquainted with ways to make treatment and aid for our conditions more accessible and ways we can contribute to aiding others. First of all most people live in a capitalistic society to some extent. Things cost money and there needs to be a demand for things. One small thing that can lead to more prevalence of mobility aids is simply for more people to buy them. The more often they're bought the more use they get- the more available they become.

Im the case of someone not needing a mobility aid, buying one can in some small part help accessibility. This is true even when the intentions of the purchaser are not good and they're planning to fake a disability for attention. Faking itself is a massive problem and horrible to do, but it doesn't take away resources. It doesn't destroy the lives of the disabled people around them- it makes them a fraud and a liar, but we are not destroyed nor swayed by frauds.

I take these principles and apply them as well to mental health. If there's a higher demand for education on DID and specialists to treat it, how could I not see that as a win? Even if it's because of "fakers" or endos or malingerers, or anything you want to call people who may technically not fit the bill of "needing" it. Sure there's some people who will take the prevalence of "fakers" and endogenics and use that as an excuse not to treat patients but they're the type of person who shouldn't have their license in the first place considering a refusal to treat their own clients due to being easily swayed and influenced by things like social media is a glaring display of an inability to actually take their job seriously or be mature enough for their occupation.

As much as you may want to complain that "this doctor wouldn't treat me!" you blaming the failure of the system to allow such a terrible person into the line of work on the people your own failure of a doctor balmed for their inadequacy and inability to treat you. I've been groomed by a therapist before, but I don't refuse to believe that there's any such thing as a good therapist! Not for I blame any of the people they blame for their actions.

When my psychiatrist refused to test me or even consider medication for my psychologists concerns of Bipolar, I didn't blame people faking or being over medicated on it. I don't have to blame innocents for my psychiatrist being weird about medication and wanting me to speak to a health professional during my next manic episode and wait to treat it until a massive disaster happens next time instead of just a few hundred page manifestos on people I was convinced were evil who were literally just normal.

Endos and people you might consider "fakers" using resources make those resources more common and more accessible.

If you want to see things get better then you need to accept that you're not special and if something helps someone that's AMAZING no matter why it helps them. I would love to see treatment be more and more accessible, I would love to see more and more studies come out both on DID and those who don't have it. I would love to see so much, and live in a world where our condition isn't so stigmatized that some therapists will refuse to even take on a client with it when they're not going for DID treatment.

[anexperimentallife]

So we had to report someone after they posted a picture of El and me along with a long, totally unhinged (and wildly inaccurate) rant, @'d @thesurestthing and me, and sent dms to both of us, both the post and dms being about what horrible people we all are, how disabled people are just lazy, how anyone who has to ask for help after being hit with too many unexpected emergencies in a row is a terrible lazy person, that interracial relationships are bad, how I'm going to die soon, etc...

Oh, and how they they HOPE Zoey and El suffer for the rest of their lives after I'm gone, and how Zoey will be begging for help forever because she's useless.

So... Monday here.

Also, they claim Zoey is just my girlfriend (she's my wife), they didn't know she's from the US, and opine that it's my fault my youngest son died in his twenties of pneumonia (which according to them he did to himself--while I was a thousand miles away--but it's somehow still my fault) and my fault that my older son shot himself after refusing attempt after attempt from myself and others to get him to accept help for his bipolar disorder. So yeah, thanks for using the deaths of my sons to attack me. Shows a lot of class.

Also, they claim Zoey is a terrible mother, has no drive, and no skills (despite her being an excellent mother, earning a college degree while she was still in high school, and despite ONE of the reasons we're going back--in addition to me needing medical treatment--being for her to work and get a higher degree), and apparently we should both be working here even though we're not legally allowed to (because, again, disabled people are just lazy and we should also risk imprisonment, because THAT would be responsible)?

Somehow, they're also very concerned for Zoey and El despite outright saying they HOPE El and Zoey suffer?

Just completely off the rails, unhinged ranting.

They didn't even get the timeline right. I was autistic with ADHD and head and spine injuries before we found out (during the Philippines STRICT lockdown) that we were having a baby, and at that point I'd just gotten contracted for the licensing fee, which we had every reason to believe (based on the longevity of the company's other properties) that it would gp on for basically as long as I was game m--so it LOOKED like smooth sailing ahead. (That contract was the only reason we stopped being so careful to avoid pregnancy, too.)

So yes, I was disabled when we got pregnant with El, but in a stable way at that point. It wasn't until AFTER we found out about the pregnancy that I got covid three times that my health started scarily declining. THAT was when all the scary stuff with my eye and heart and feet and face started. But apparently we're horrible for... not knowing that was going to happen?

Thing is, if the company that was paying me a licensing fee to turn my first-sold story into a game hadn't canceled the project one year in with zero notice (while we were still paying for El's birth), if El hadn't had a mistake on her birth certificate that left her stateless and took almost two years to resolve, and if I hadn't gotten COVID three times, we'd be okay financially. We wouldn't have had to ask for help with El's legal stuff or my medical bills, and we wouldn't have to be asking for help now.

Of course, we're the only people they follow, and that's their only post, so they obviously made the blog just for this purpose. I think I know who it is, but I can't prove it, so oh, well. Took screen shots in case receipts are needed later, but since it's obviously a throwaway account, it would be pointless to @ them here.

(Oh, apparently we're also bad people for being... liberals? LOL We're leftists, man. Liberals are more conservative than we are.)

Like I said, pretty sure I know who it is, and they probably hate-follow us from another account anyway, but, y'know, they're too cowardly to show themselves. So hi. Go to therapy.

Yeah. Fun stuff.

Anyway, if you'd like to help us all get back to the US so I can use my benefits to get the medical treatment I need (which, again, is needed as a result of me getting covid 3X AFTER we found out we were having El), please see my pinned post.

[galansu]

Oliver and why he's Going to Hell (a rant)

It's hard to write a character when you know they're gonna go to hell in the end. Or at least when they die. You've aligned them to being morally good, fighting against evil, and yet when they die, they're sent away while some of the people they've fought against are sent to heaven. Not for things they did in the past. But because of things they've always done.

Oliver's deeds as a hero and his support to the team do not cancel out the fact that he mutilated and bioengineered people into monstrosities and continued to do it throughout his career (as of now). Sure, it helps that he tests everything (that he shows to the public) he makes before he uses it on the people he trusts and loves. But it's not good that he's tested it (being prototypes and first time experiments) on unwilling and unknowing subjects. I'm not just talking about rats or mice, I'm talking about people. He grew and made people in his lab so he wouldn't have to kidnap and experiment on someone who already had a life and a future. He made people to essentially kill them. Sure, they didn't have a sense of consciousness in later versions he created since the screaming of brutality and begging for mercy was a lot, but I mean?? He saw the only problem being the defiance and not the "No, please! Don't do this!"???

He lives with the trauma of seeing his parents die at a young age. Of getting disowned by the last bits of family he had left. Of one of his experiments going wrong and terribly electrocuting him, scarring him for life. Yes, he's suffered. Yes, he's not all mentally well. But he continues to do unethical things and sees no reason to stop when his methods give good results. He does experiment on himself when he knows the results won't end with him dead, but if he needs to take something apart to get answers then he'll resort to growing a clone/life form of that species.

I believe in the idea that if you do bad things in the past and change and grow as a person in the future, you'll be considered a good person in the eyes of judgement. I believe that people can be redeemed and bettered if they work on themselves and prove they've changed with time, as well as genuinely believe in the good they do afterwards. I feel like Oliver, if he decides to change later on, can be able to make it to heaven in the afterlife. But as he is right now, he's going to hell.

I imagine it going something like this. Oliver dies in a lab incident. He begins to go up to heaven, a bit nonchalant about just dying. He walks up to this big gate that has many different entries to it, going up to one of them and waiting to be allowed inside. When he gives them his name, they don't find it on their list anywhere. He's shocked and terrified. They tell him to check "downstairs", as he's sent plummeting through the skies to the hells below. The gates are like mirror image of what heaven has, minus the clouds and the bright golden color. It has a rusty look to it, the entire place a wasteland of firey rocks and magma. Oliver sheepishly goes to enter, and is horrified when they tell him he's on the list. He begs and asks why. The stuff I said above is told to him. Bioengineering with malicious intent. Modifying subjects against their will. Creating life just to take it away. And then he's ushered inside.

TLDR: Oliver is going to hell because he does cruel experiments and causes suffering even though he helps save the universe. If he stops his cruel methods and finds a different way that doesn't involve killing people or mutilating them, then he can go to heaven.

"b-but galans you wrote him 🥺" yeah and it hurts me that he's gonna go to hell so i want him to have character development at some point where he changes his methods

"so why don't you just write that now you don't tell us much about him anyway we would have never known" i want you to know he's a silly boy when it comes to being friends with people and most of his inventions but his experiments suck and I CAN FIX HIM!!!!!!!!!!

i may just redeem him in his side story (which im on the fence about making a blog for since so many of you said "yeah make one!!" but also showed you had no interest in engaging with it which to me defeats the purpose of you guys saying i should make it, if you want it to happen then you'd want to see it that's my logic)

[postsforposting]

>fucking joe schmuck stuck in line for a gig actually had fuck all power over the venue's policy. it's systemic. it's systems. it's corporations. stop blaming fucking individuals. you sound like the idiots who talk about fucking carbon footprints.

you could like, bother to ask instead of accusing and going off the rails like a wildcat in heat.

people believe that suffering is a good thing. people believe that suffering is deserved, and that anyone who circumvents this is a horrible person. people are supposed to suffer. this is a cultural norm: literally, suffering makes you a better person.

you are engaging in it right now, flinging all kinds of filth here and going off the rails instead of bothering to USE YOUR BRAIN, as you say. would you like to clarify why you think stupidity, retardation, is a good insult on a post about disability? why you can't control yourself, and feel the need to act like this? why you expect your violence to have a good effect---

oh, it's because people believe suffering makes you a better person. violence is good.

why does joe shmuck think he needs to blame the disabled people, instead of realizing that they can't stand in line? because suffering is good, and if you can't tolerate the suffering, you should not be able to get the thing you want. only the good people who come out of the suffering as morally better deserve to be rewarded. can't get something for nothing, yeah?

for some weird reason you don't think joe schmuck should have to use his brain? he's not the worst person ever for following exactly what he's told and telling you you're a vile evil miscreant worthy of death? is it that you think he's too stupid to understand any of this? that's incredibly hateful of you to think about literally everyone in the world. nobody can possibly understand you or think about other people because they're being told to think something else? they don't have thoughts and beliefs of their own, they're just drones following "corporations"? there's no overarching system telling people why all this has to be the way it is? puritanism and calvinism, the basis of most modern christianity, DO NOT EXIST??? fundyism is not a thing worldwide in any religion whatsoever? MAN that's the world i want to live in

nah, people don't ever think that suffering makes you a better person or that demand you should stop crying before i give you a reason to cry. nobody ever in the history of the world has grown up in a culture that normalizes abuse, normalizes suffering, as something to be proud of. nobody one ups each other with how terrible their lives are, how much sleep they haven't gotten! that would be fuckin WEIRD, imagine living like that! braggin about how much you've worked this week? how many meals you had to skip? how you're too proud to apply for welfare and won't use SNAP because that's for grubby leeches? WILD. disabled people aren't ever told that their suffering is for a greater purpose or that they aren't suffering enough to be allowed accommodations. NEVER.

>or you're actually incapable of reading. I am slamming my head against a wall as we speak.

i'm not shocked you're so free with insulting people who have trouble reading. is this like a thing with you? disabled people are funny? illiteracy and people who are denied those opportunities are funny? insulting people is great praxis because comparing them to the unwashed masses shows how pure your blue blood is? are you doing this because you always act like this and call it social commentary or is it because you're not slamming your head hard enough to get back to a clean slate where you can install some praxis that doesn't focus on hatewhoring?

>also that ticket system wouldn't work for the actual thing

with all due respect i did not think i needed to explain what an "example" is, but if you truly do not understand please ask. i do think you're just reaching here to say nasty things, because again, making people suffer makes them better. it's why hateful content drives engagement so much more and why you chose to focus on hate yourself here instead of actual substance. being upset at an example is like complaining that i'm "going off topic" when i use a metaphor to explain a point.

i truly did think everyone would be familiar with the concept of glorifying suffering, i guess that's my bad for overestimating the company here. failing familiarity, i did at least believe people would have the common courtesy to ASK instead of going off on batshit asshole rants of accusation. you're behaving exactly like fanatic christian preachers, seeing demons everywhere and frothing at the mouth like people did to that "couch guy" who was surprise visited by his girlfriend and still gets harassed to this day by strangers.

has it occurred to you that you treat people the exact same way that you complain about in your op? worse, really, based on all this, and it's clearly not a fluke from your proud links up there. just, ew. my mistake assuming you were a better person than you clearly are. i imagine you'll be glad to have thoroughly corrected my view of you.

every time I get to skip a queue because I'm disabled, I think back to my one guardian using that as one example of how actually it's marginalised people who are privileged. ma'am, it's because I can't stand up for that long. and it's trans privilege that I once got given vip passes, as the only working gender neutral toilet was in the vip area of the club. ma'am, it's so that I didn't get beaten up. ma'am, it's not a privilege for somebody to do something nice for you that is aiming to circumvent a danger you're subjected to. I can't skip a queue now without thinking "I wonder how many people are bitter that I can do this because they're standing in the cold for an hour", and then I think that the solution to these situations should never be to harm me, it would be to improve the venue's entrance (more metal detectors, etc) and waiting area (cover, places to sit, etc) so that the waiting experience doesn't suck enough to make anybody feel bitter upon seeing someone skip it for the sake of their health. and I don't even ask to skip btw, it's just protocol in a lot of places, and they let those with you skip it too so that you're not separated.

[milasartblog]

Strong side of faith (part 2)

Iris: Lost? What do you mean?

Gabriel: I...maybe I didn't tell you, but I'm a religious person too. Well, at least, was till I came across with some..."changes" in my life.

He looked down with upset look as Iris was more concern about Gabriel. She carefully and gently held his hand, to which Gabriel reacted with little surprise.

Iris: Did something terrible happen in your personal life?

Gabriel: Not really, but it also gave its effect. I used to follow every God's rule and live as a righteous man.

Iris: Wait, like every EVERY rule?

Gabriel: You can say so. It was a...perfect lifestyle for me, or so I thought. However, as life goes on, so changes happen in my life.

Iris: Like what?

Gabriel looked more down, sighing heavily.

Gabriel: I began to see the flaws in God's laws, see how life is more cruel than I expected, how one and the same law can be used for bad purposes and so. I tried to stay the same, but....now I feel like I slowly begin to betray God.

He clenched his fist, trying to hold his emotions as Iris looked at Gabriel with sad eyes. Then her eyes were locked on the ground too, not knowing what to say.

Gabriel: Sometimes, I begin to think that God abandoned us.

Iris: What do you mean?

Gabriel: I mean, if He really loves His children, why leave them suffer in this world? Is he tired of us? Is it because mortals stopped believing in Him, turned away from Him, succumbed to sins more and more? Or there is something else? I just....want to understand.

They kept walking in deep and heavy silence. Gabriel kept trying to hold his emotions while Iris was lost in her thoughts. Meanwhile they almost reached their destination and soon they have to part their ways.

Iris: I...I'm sorry, I haven't experienced such feeling like you. Maybe some changes. I'm not sure if my opinion helps you.

Gabriel: That's okay. I don't ask for immediate response. It's my trouble after all.

Iris: And yet, what I can say is that you should not close yourself from changes. Also, I kinda disagree with you about God abandoning us.

That response made Gabriel look at Iris with curiousity.

Iris: I mean, I can understand how it's hard to adapt to changes, especially when they're sudden. It's good when we stay the same, but most of the time we have to change something in ourselves in order to move on. And here is coming my disagreement with God abandoning us. If God really abandoned us, then would it mean that angels have abandoned us too? God would not allow angels to help us, to guide us. Or simply, angels would not care too. He would not create angels to make sure that the balance is followed. God gives us challenges, but also gives us little hints on how we can overcome these challenges. Like today with cat.

Gabriel: Wait, what kind of relation does cat have with our chat?

Iris: Simple. I had a challenge to sell as much flowers today as i can. But today I couldn't do it with my usual tools. And so, the cat came to help me. Most of the people would shush the animal away, but I decided to leave her with me and the rest of the story you know.

She smiled as Gabriel took a moment to think about it. The situation was indeed a bit unusual, in the meaning of how most of the people came to buy flowers because of the cat. Suddenly he realised something. If his Father really abandoned mortals and angels, he would not stand here, talking with Iris, he would not see the changes that happen in the mortal world and in Heaven, the balance would be ruined without them. Even demons would not be inspired by humans if angels didn't guard them, help them to see things from other side, help them to overcome the barriers of life.

Iris: Oh, and about my point of view, well, I believe that people has a right to be religious to their own God. He is in our hearts. It can even be She if they want. We can always talk to Them whenever we want, in happiness and sadness. As for me, I just live my life how I want. Being religious doesn't mean that I should close my eyes on other things. Even if the person is not religious, do I have to behave bad towards them? Of course not! They're humans like me and you. I can learn something from them too, see their view on things and so. Church is of course a sacred place, but for me it's a place where I can have a rest mentally, where I could just chat with God, not only asking for blessing and stuff. Plus, I'm sure that even to such people guardian angels try to give their help. Cause angels always do their best to help, right?

She looked at Gabriel with smile, but then her smile changed to worry, seeing little tears coming from Gabriel's eyes.

Iris: G-Gabriel? Are you okay?

For a couple of minutes the archangel was in his thoughts and if not the gentle and carrying touch of woman's hand on his cheek that tries to dry his tears, he would still be into himself.

Gabriel: Oh, umm, I'm fine, I'm fine. Just the dust caught into my eyes.

Iris: You were about to cry. Did I...make you sad?

Gabriel: No no, it's not that. It's just...

Iris looked at Gabriel's eyes as he looked at hers with the smile on his face, which made her feel confused for a moment.

Gabriel: I'm just feeling....a bit releived.

Iris: Really? After what I said?

Gabriel: Yeah. It's kinda shocking, but...your reply made me realise something. Like you said, it won't probably help much, but it showed me the way that I can use to find the answer to my feeling.

Iris: Oh....really?

He nodded as held her hands. Iris was not expecting it as blushed for a moment.

Gabriel: I was really too closed in myself that I didn't noticed things that made me feel needed to people close to me, to feel myself again. I thought that I was supposed to stay in the same point of view, but the reality is cruel and you have to adapt to it. It will be hard for me, as I'm, well, "way too religious", but I will do my best. And it's thanks to you.

Such words made Iris blush even more. Realising what he said and what he was doing, he began to blush too as removed his hands, drying his tears from his eyes.

Gabriel: S-Sorry, I-I didn't mean to break your personal space.

But a sudden giggle made him feel puzzled for a moment, and now it was his turn to notice the tears from Iris's eyes. He began to be worried.

Gabriel: I-Iris?

Iris: You're so unusual, Gabriel. And yet, if my answer helped you, I'm so happy. Because that's what matters the most.

She smiled happily as Gabriel smiled back too and suddenly hugged her. Iris was stunned by such sudden actions, and yet answered to his hug with her own. Then they dried their tears as they looked at the building, where Iris lives.

Iris: Well, I guess it's time to part our ways here.

Gabriel: Yeah. Sorry if our chat was like this.

Iris: Oh, that's okay. Chats can be happy and sad, and you can't be always ready to any of it. Plus, this chat also helped me realise something.

Gabriel: Really?

Iris: Yep. But I can't tell you.

Gabriel: Wait, really? Why?

Iris: Because it's a secret. And secrets can't be told, even to friends.

That reply was unexpected to Gabriel as his curiousity level went too high. And yet, the etiquette didn't allow him to make her reveal the secret.

Gabriel: Well, I guess I can't help it.

Iris: Hehe, that's okay. Maybe I will tell you one day. Promise.

She smiled as gave him a pinky to make a promise. Gabriel smiled as answered to her suggestion and together they made a promise.

Iris: Promise me that no matter what you will stay the same.

Gabriel: I will. Same to you.

Iris: I will.

And they hugged each other once more before saying goodbyes to each other and parting their ways. All the way back Gabriel couldn't help not to think if Iris was actually an angel, while Iris, smiling on her way home, couldn't stop thinking about her theory.

Iris: I guess he IS really an angel.

-----------------

And that's another part of the story^^ A little peace came to Gabriel's soul after chatting with Iris^^ But will it help Gabriel for his personal growth? Only God knows XD

Gabriel and Iris belong to @wildstarfan and @milasartblog (both me)

Okaria et Feria belongs to @wildstarfan and @captainthane

[handonhaven]

So um there is certain group that in this fandom(I'm not gonna name which one but I think it'll be pretty easy to figure out) that have taken to editing articles online to make it seem like their ship is happening and pretty much everything else they wish would happen on the show. Granted the edit to the articles don't last very long before they get changed back. But still I feel like that just a whole new level of sad. To go through all that trouble and they're just feeding into their own "I feel like I been lied to" thing. That's why if it's not one of those websites where Brett and other cast members do their interviews(the website that can't be edit) then I don't pay no mind or believe anything it says

Okay I know I'm really late with this one(and sorry if you answered something like this already) but Lizzie and Josie just made me mad to no end in 3x16. First let me start by saying I get them being upset that Hope ditched them and stole their car. That's understandable. But the fact that they didn't care where Hope was or where she went or if she was okay etc. That made me so mad, and then the only thing Lizzie cared about was making sure Hope would be in a relationship with someone other than Landon(don't even get me started on the comment she made about them and sex 😡😡). Because why shouldn't Hope be with the one person who loves her truly just the way she is. And does whatever he can to make sure she's okay and does whatever he can to help her unlike everyone else at that school, as well as a million other things I could add. And then at the end of the episode when Hope was back at the school both Lizzie and Josie go talk to her and try to act all high and mighty in a way. Asking Hope of it meant nothing to her what happened between them in 3x15. Clearly it meant nothing to Lizzie and Josie because they spent all of 3x16 not giving a crap about Hope. I mean they say they want to be there for Hope and help her and so on but then turn around and do the exact opposite. I honestly can't.

I think I can honestly say after this season. I would sacrifice anyone if it meant that Hope and Landon could be happy. I would throw anyone and everyone under the bus if I had to. Heck I would throw someone to malivore if I had. Just so they could be happy. Because all the trauma they went through these past 3 seasons plus all the trauma they went through before hand. They're done, like let them be done going through trauma. Just let them be happy of once, I don't care who has to pay what price let someone else go through something. I know it would suck for another character to go through pain I do. But Hope and Landon has had 3 seasons of nonstop trauma. That's way more than enough. Just give them a break and let someone else go through something. I don't care who they would throw under the bus to make that happen. Just make it happen, so that way Handon can deal with and possess all the trauma they've been through and move past it and just be happy. I know it's wrong to say let another character through pain so they can be happy, I do. But after three seasons of only them going through some much this is how I feel now. Yes I know other characters went through stuff too, but it was never to the extent to what Hope and Landon have been going through. And they even got a break from it and got to deal with. Hope and Landon have never gotten that.

So my friend came up with this theory that 4x04 is going to be a parallel to 3x04. Because at the end of 3x04 we had to watch as Hope watched Landon melt right in front of her. Which was heart breaking enough by the way. Then the end of 4x04 will be Landon watching Hope die right in front of his eyes. Just thinking about something like that happening just breaks my heart 💔💔💔💔. It was bad enough having to see that once. But they have see that twice.... I think my heart will jump out of my chest and fall into the ocean somewhere never to be seen again. There's no way I could take seeing something like that twice.

Okay so I know everyone has there own thoughts on this one, but I would love to hear yours. So if Klaus was alive and met Landon what do you think he would think of him? I honestly think he would love Landon(even though he wouldn't come out right and say that). For the person he is despite everything he's been through in his life, and how he's always trying to better himself. For how good he is to Hope and how happy he makes her. And for how he's trys to help Hope with everything, and does what he can to help keep her safe. And so on.

Seriously?? Wow. So that’s how they’re spending the hiatus? That’s definitely sad and absurd, the kind of stuff they do continues to reach new levels. I just don’t get what the point is of trying to temporarily deceive people by doing that... so that they can feel like they’ve won for a little while? They must be pretty desperate. And they really are just lying to themselves at this point, and are going to great lengths to lie to other people too. Idk what sites even allow them to do that, at least the articles get changed back though. But yeah, I’m gonna stick to only looking at legit articles and websites, and official info from people who actually work on the show. That’s just incredibly stupid, honestly.

I actually did talk about that a bit in a response to an ask here x. But yeah, same. I understand them being upset about Hope ditching them too, but Hope clearly did it to keep them out of what she was doing because there could’ve been danger. That’s nothing new for Hope, and since they’re supposed to be her best friends, shouldn’t they know that? And even though they were upset, they still should’ve been more concerned about Hope’s safety, which they weren’t. And yes, exactly. Yes to all you said. It was all so frustrating to watch and made me mad too. And so true about Hope and Landon, Hope should be able to be with him, he’s all those things you said and more. So there was no good reason for Lizzie to try to find Hope someone else when she still loves Landon and wasn’t interested in moving on. And I agree about the end of the episode as well. Once again, their concern was the fact that Hope had ditched them, not if she was okay. Exactly, it doesn’t seem like 3x15 meant anything to them since they were so quick to give up on Hope. Just one thing went wrong, which was really more of an inconvenience for them, and they didn’t even try to be there for Hope. They got offended and did nothing. So it makes me worried for when Hope has to deal with Malivore and whether or not they’ll really be there for her.

Yeah, I mean, hopefully no one would have to be sacrificed for them to be happy. But it’s really sad that it’s gotten to the point where it feels like it would take something that extreme to make it happen. It’s truly insane the kind of trauma they’ve gone through and how they can never get a real break and be happy. I agree, if anyone deserves to be happy at this point, it’s them. And I wouldn’t want someone else to have to suffer either, but if the writers are so insistent on having someone suffer, they need to have it not be Hope and Landon for once! They need a better balance of what goes on with all the characters instead of just putting Hope and Landon through everything all the time. Exactly, they seriously have gone through nonstop trauma, they can’t go through anymore at this point, it’s too much. I agree, they need to be able to recover and heal after all they’ve been through so that they can be okay and be happy. I honestly don’t know how either of them have even been able to keep going after all they’ve experienced, it’s so horrible. And yeah, it’s not that the other characters haven’t gone through stuff too, it’s just not at all like what Hope and Landon have dealt with. And like you say, with no breaks, no time to heal. I just think it’s ironic how they wanted this show to be lighter, yet they still put these characters through terrible things, Hope and Landon most of all. They have them constantly dealing with trauma and pain and death, they just lighten up the tone and throw in some comedy amidst all of the tragedy to make it seem lighter when it’s really not. Not for Hope and Landon anyway. I wish they’d make their actual lives and experiences lighter overall, and let them live and be happy for a bit, it’s what they deserve.

Oh my gosh! So I’ve also wondered if Hope is gonna die in 4x04, but I didn’t even think about how that would be a parallel to 3x04! 😭 It will be so painful if it happens, I’m not sure I can take it either! Although, if Landon is there if it happens that could also make for an amazing scene. Like seeing Landon crying over her, or his reaction to it triggering his Phoenix powers again, or maybe even getting healing tears? I’d lose it. It would definitely be heartbreaking, but as long as they wouldn’t get separated again like in 3x04 and they could still be together after, hopefully we would survive seeing something like that again!

When it comes to Klaus and Landon, I have so many thoughts about that, I could make a whole other post about it. But I completely agree with what you said. Every time I see people say Klaus would hate Landon, that he would’ve killed him, etc. like... it makes me mad but I also wanna laugh. Because there’s just no way that Klaus would feel that way about Landon, and whoever thinks he would either didn’t actually watch The Originals, or at least didn’t pay attention to it or understand it. I don’t know how anyone can watch that show and come away from it thinking Landon isn’t the kind of person Klaus, Hayley, and the rest of Hope’s family would want for Hope. And we already saw Klaus’s reaction to Landon dancing with Hope. He was smiling and happy to see Hope with him. He’s already basically approved of Landon. But I really do think he would love Landon too. He wanted Hope to be happy, and Landon is the one who makes Hope happy. So I think that alone would be reason enough for Klaus to like Landon and want him in Hope’s life. But also the other things you said as well, I think he would really admire Landon and the kind of person he is after all that he’s been through. I’ve always thought it was interesting how, in some ways, Landon went through similar things in his childhood like Klaus and Hayley did. He was abused, and Klaus was also abused, and was in foster care with no real family, like Hayley was. And I think for Klaus to see the way Landon has handled that and didn’t let those things change who he is as a person, and still chose to be a good and kind person even after being treated so horribly, I’m sure that would mean a lot to Klaus. To see the way that Landon has been able to overcome darkness in his life, and that’s what Hope needs as well. Klaus and the rest of the Mikaelsons always wanted Hope to be better than how they had been, and Landon helps Hope to be better and helps brings out the best parts of her. And of course with the way that Landon treats Hope, and how much he loves her, how loyal he is, and the way he fights for her and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep her safe, I’m sure Klaus would be so grateful to Landon. Like, just imagine Klaus’s reaction to what Landon did for Hope in 2x11, along with everything else he’s done. How could Klaus not love someone who loves his daughter that much and is that devoted to her? I could go on about this, but this has gotten ridiculously long so I’ll stop. But yeah, I definitely think Klaus would love Landon and be so glad that Hope has him.

[motorcyclegirlfriends]

Sense the SDCC thing, I've been seeing a lot of art and fics that are dragging Kara/Supergirl. Like I get that some people are upset at the actors but the characters have nothing to do with any of this. I started watching the show because I read the comics when I was a kid, I just loved Supergirl as a hero. It's really kind of upsetting. They're treating a character like shit because they don't like something the person who portrays them did.

So this is a long dissection of the current Supergirl fan behavior, but if you’ve been wondering what the hell is going on, you might be interested in reading these concepts.

I understand why you’re upset. I am too, because Kara is such a wonderful character. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a character as much as her.

But there are two things you should realize when seeing this:

1. They never really cared about Kara to being with. Your loved Kara-focused content isn’t changing or leaving, because these people were not making the Kara content. They were likely initially making Supercorp Lena-focused content.

2. It’s not even about her.

I think what a lot of people who are newly joining this SDCC homophobia discussion are missing is that a lot of the most vicious backlash is not from people who are uniquely upset over this issue (though there are certainly people who are- and understandably) but from people who have had consistently overzealous reactions of hate toward actors and characters alike, save their fave (pretty much Katie Mcgrath/Lena Luthor).

On tumblr, and very noticeably in this fandom, there are sections of fans who seem to genuinely enjoy hating things. It’s a sport.

They’re having fun sending the most hurtful things they can think of to actors, and are the quickest to begin making vicious memes and jokes surrounding a negative event, before there has been a consensus within the community of how bad the “sin” was.

The “punishment” begins before the jury is out, and trying to defend those in the situation feels like trying to put a bullet back into a gun after it’s been fired. 

(Maybe it’s more like stepping in front of a bullet, because once these few have decided that the target is guilty, they won’t stop, and anyone who disagrees with them is guilty, too. Blogs and actors alike.)

This is partially why my discussion of the SDCC event had a “are they homophobic” slant (other then that I believe the nature of the event itself- if it was homophobic- hinges on the feeling behind the words, unlike most other instances of homophobia. It’s complicated and some people understandably disagree so far, but it’s really how I see it and I’ll be talking more about it a little later in different posts).

People started calling Melissa and Jeremy homophobic right away. Started targeting Kara as a character. Started “spite shipping” Lena and Reign. 

Or alternative to these options- immediately fan re-casted Kara as someone else to still be able to ship Supercorp. 

From where I stand, if you can so easily let go of this characterization of Kara, you never really cared about her as a character to begin with. If you don’t know that this was The™ person to play Kara Danvers, you’re likely more invested in the role she plays for Lena than for her as herself. 

And regardless of gender, I am uninterested in ships in which one character exists for the sake of another. (Lena existing purely for the sake of Kara’s development squicks me, too)

Recasting a woc as Kara doesn’t sit well with me either, for that reason. It’s a similar concept to how Maggie must exist as her own complex and valued person, apart from Alex, because she is a character of color.

I can’t really read the minds of these people, and I guess I could be wrong, but it’s hard for me to imagine actual Kara fans recasting her in this way.

Essentially, a lot of these people, or at least a very vocal minority, are so quick to accept that something horrible has happened because they want an excuse to hate them. 

They like it. 

Maybe it’s because they’re upset with the way society is and want someone to suffer for it. Maybe it’s because they have unresolved anger in their lives. 

But as it stands, it appears as if these people are using moral rightness and social activism as an excuse to be as mean as they want.

And like @youngbloodbuzz said in the link above, you start to look at their past behaviors in a new light. Were they genuinely upset at characters? Actors? Did they really feel like a travesty was occurring? That someone needed protecting?

Or were they just looking for reasons to call someone a “stupid cunt”?

It’s like they’re genuinely thinking, “It’s okay for me to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, call them intense names, make memes about how horrible they are innately, and send them death threats because they said something problematic once that a lot of people will hear.”

Sometimes they’ll call it “coping”, and maybe some people truly believe that makes it okay. But coping mechanisms are not above reproach.

If I hurt someone because I’m upset about something- even if I hurt someone because they did something wrong- it doesn’t erase the fact that I hurt them. We are still responsible to how we react to bad situations. We are still responsible for not reacting in an overly inflated way. 

Sometimes people will focus on how those that they’re attacking have more of a responsibility to be good people. That they are but mere bloggers, screaming into the void. They can’t possibly be accountable for how they behave. 

“I’m tired of talking about how bad the fans are, we should be focusing on what they did wrong!”

It creates an atmosphere in which an honest mistake from a well known person is much more crucifiable than the purposeful cruelty of the fans. We’re discouraged from criticizing popular blogs because the person they’re attacking has a wider audience and larger consequences for mistakes, as if popular bloggers don’t reach and influence thousands of people and as if we aren’t allowed to shape the way our own community functions.

Meanwhile, people who genuinely value morality and social activism fall prey to this thinking. They’ll even join in on the action, because they think it’s a moral act. 

Rebellion, somehow. Righteous fire. 

It’s a twisted mindset that spreads because people are afraid to be on the wrong side of morality.

Even people who really think the reaction is “too far” are quiet about it because they agree with the fact that what the offending celebrity did was wrong, and see that the level of vitriol for them now is overwhelming.

This is how I imagine that people who believe Melissa and Jeremy’s words to be homophobic but who do not think a couple of mistakes makes someone pure evil are relating to the current tumblr dialogue: 

“Wow this thing was homophobic!”

“Huh, yeah, I agree. Maybe not intentionally, but yeah.”

“That means this person is homophobic!”

“Uh, well, not sure I’d go that far-”

“Oh and look at this other somewhat problematic thing they did a while ago”

“Hmm well that’s bad, but not everyone outside of social activism gets that that’s a bad thing, so I can see-”

“Wow did you hear that this person also has an opinion about the show that I disagree with! What the fuck is wrong with them?”

“Oh. Well I actually agree with them in that situation but-”

“Omg they think that their character is like this! Do they know them at all??? What kind of terrible actor doesn’t know their character?”

“Well that’s a pretty common way that people are reading this character. Just because you-”

“Here’s some conjecture about their personal life that I imagine happened that paints them in a bad light.”

“Well, you don’t know that, but either way you shouldn’t be diving into their personal-”

“Oh and here’s a totally real story from an anon about someone they know who knew this person in the past and says they were a jerk at this one point-”

And it becomes too much. If you don’t really love the actor, really love their character, you either extract yourself from the group or you ignore the opinions you disagree with. 

It becomes quite clear that these people want to feel this way and won’t be changing any time soon.

And the more there seems to be a consensus about the issue, the less willing people are to speak out, for fear of rejection.

The Spiral of Silence theory is a good way to explain it:

To avoid isolation, people tend to refrain from publicly stating their views on controversial matters when they perceive that doing so would attract criticism, scorn, laughter, or other signs of disapproval. 

Conversely, those who sense that their opinions will meet with approval tend to voice them fearlessly and at times vociferously. 

Indeed, speaking out in such a way tends to enhance the threat of isolation faced by supporters of the opposing position, reinforcing their sense of being alone. 

Thus a spiraling process begins, the dominant camp becoming ever louder and more self-confident while the other camp becomes increasingly silent.

Importantly, the spiral of silence occurs only in connection with controversial issues that have a strong moral component. What triggers a person’s fear of isolation is the belief that others will consider him or her not merely mistaken but morally bad. Accordingly, issues that lack a moral component or on which there is general consensus leave no room for a spiral of silence.

Additionally, I believe that if someone does speak out against the (perceived) majority, it is most likely to be someone who is very strongly opposing of it.

A person who believes “It isn’t homophobic at all! They are innocent!” is more likely to voice their disagreements than “Okay I agree with your assessment of the situation but I think maybe we’re being too harsh…”

So the “minority”- who could technically very well be the quiet majority (people with middle-ground opinions just don’t get as many followers)- stays quiet. 

They might even change their minds to agree with the “majority”, over time. 

Believing that the mindset of the group that you belong to is wrong is psychologically uncomfortable, so it is not uncommon for someone to try to adjust their thinking to fit those they feel connected to.

So, eventually, the only people who are speaking at all are those “majorities” who hate these people. Or those who act like they do for notes.

And then this thinking escalates amongst those still talking about it (remember: because it’s fun for them and they want to milk it for as long as possible) and it quickly translates to hating their character, once they’ve temporarily run out of material to be angry with the actor for.

So, back to your concern, how long until, “it’s hard to look at Melissa as Kara right now, because of how I fear she might feel about gay people” becomes something like “Mon-El is abusive, but Kara can choke so whatever” ?

(And on that note, one should consider how much they really wanted to protect Kara Danvers’ characterization from Mon-El’s influence, and how much was just a part of their hate-hobby.)

Maybe it won’t go that far. I hope it doesn’t. I hope people come to their senses about this.

But it’s escalated even since yesterday, when I started making this post. The language being used to describe Melissa when she is speaking normally, about normal things that some people have a difference of opinion on, is abhorrent. 

So if you’re just trying to enjoy fandom in a peaceful and creative way, I encourage you to watch how the people you interact with react when something negative happens.

Are they disheartened? Crushed? Are they considering leaving the show and it’s fandom? Writing serious essays about how they’re hurt?

…Or do they come alive?

Are they incredibly angry, and then making jokes immediately? Memes and edits and creative content more so than they do on a peaceful day? Do you get the sense that they aren’t going anywhere, for a long time, even though they don’t seem to enjoy anything about the show?

Then you might be better off unfollowing them.

Of course, not everyone who makes a joke about negative things is thus enjoying it. It makes people feel better to make light of situations as well as to express anger, and doing so doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re drama-seeking.

And sometimes people slip into the mob more than they would like to have, retrospectively. Say cruel things that they regret later. 

It happens, and tumblr can be a persuasive and pervasive place. 

If you follow someone who initially reblogs some slightly overly hateful things, but who then backs off after the first wave, they probably aren’t the kind of person who is fueled by anger. 

I’ve seen a lot of people I considered to be level-headed get wrapped up in overly aggressive, black and white thinking during the initial reaction to events.

But then sometimes, a couple of weeks later, they’ll post a tentative “Anyone else still wanna kinda like this thing, even though we said it was bad before?” and they’ll get enough approval via reblogs to feel like it’s okay to go back to normal.

Some blogs quietly sort themselves out, in the end.

And if you’re one of those people who goes overboard occasionally, I get it. 

You’re hurt and you didn’t realize that the basis for the fan reaction that you were involved in was morally shallow. That the people you were supporting were not righteously furious, but using righteousness as an excuse to be furious.

But remember the message here: people make mistakes. It’s the patterns that really tell you who they are.

And I think we can be better. Have better patterns, as a group.

In the end, I encourage you to point out when a reaction is too harsh, toward anyone. Even if it’s difficult. Even if you agree that what the person did was pretty bad.

Agreeing that “black and white thinking” is bad can feel like you’re lowering your standards for morality. But I promise, you can still value the things that you value and loathe the things that go against it, without condemning someone’s entire personhood based on a mistake or a handful of mistakes regarding those things.

Even big mistakes.

People are complicated. We are all made up of really good things and really bad things.

It’s easy to believe that someone is wholly bad when they screw up.

The hard part, the part that will ultimately ground you and help you mature, is realizing that someone can have some really bad parts within them and still be good people. (I encourage you to remember that when thinking about yourself, as well.)

The trick is recognizing the difference between when people are making honest mistakes that unintentionally hurt people, and when they’re willfully behaving a certain way because they want to hurt people (or don’t care that they will). 

And further, between when people are lashing out because they’re hurt and when people are inventing hurt to be able to lash out.

These distinctions will help you realize who you can guide or trust to work their issues out on their own when they slip up, and who you should distance yourself from.

Some very vocal portions of the fandom are, unfortunately, the latter.