#and yeah maybe it happened to him too. but what about me? why do i need to have sympathy for someone who hurt me like that?

[thebestsetter]

"(Name)."

"Yes, Rinnie?" You asked. Rin almost never interrupted you while you were doing your skincare, so you figured this was an important matter "Did something happen?"

"'Did something happen?'" He mocked your voice, frowning at you "Don't try to act like you did nothing wrong"

"Wow wow wow. Don't give me that attitude, young boy!" You said, frowning back and playfully pulling his nose, which made him let out a startled 'Yelp!' and push your hand away "But seriously, what did I do? I have no idea"

"Oh but you most definitely do" he grabbed your phone from the counter and began looking through it, frowning all the while and cursing the slow wifi.

You weren't really nervous about it because you both trusted each other, and you knew you hadn't done anything wrong.

So why? Why was Rin Itoshi frowning at your phone at almost 12 am. on a random wednesday?

You needed a sign, anything to help you understand him. Maybe you forgot something important. Maybe you didn't do the dishes yesterday, and it was your turn to do them. Maybe he discovered your secret fanpage. You had no idea.

'Oh, my Sheila!'

On second thought, you most definitely did.

"'When I'm arguing with my boyfriend but then remember who I'm arguing with'? Really, (Name)?" He frowned, turning the phone to you and shoving it into your face "And where did you get this photo of me anyways? It's so old"

When you grabbed your phone, you saw your favorite photo of all time. It was 5 year old Rin Itoshi, give or take a few months, with his mouth wide open like he was eating a rainbow, looking all silly and squishable.

"Can you blame me, Rin? Look at him!" You said, showing him the picture "He was so cute!! You were so cute. And so round, too!!" You suddenly pinched his cheek like a grandma "I love this picture of young you."

"Only the picture?" He crossed his arms

"No" you giggled, hugging him "I love you, too, Rinnie"

He hugged you back, his head in the crook of your neck. It was moments like these that you enjoyed the most: just the two of you, without anyone else to interfere

"Maybe" he started, voice muffled from your hair "I'll let you keep that video up. But only if you promise me Isagi and Bachira won't find it"

Oh oh.

"Uhm... Rinnie" you said, slowly getting away from the hug. You knew what was going to happen "They... already saw it"

"What."

"Yeah, Isagi even put it was his profile pic or something"

Rin quickly snatched your phone, opening the comment section with 12k+ comments.

There, in all of their glory, were Isagi and Bachira's comments, each with 10k+ likes

Yoichii._: Ty for the photo, (Name). Putting it as my pfp 🙏

Meg.chira: JUST MADE A STICKER OUT OF IT, DM ME IF YALL WANT IT

"Delete that shit right now" Rin said, storming off and muttering something among the lines of "I'll kill them both" and "I hate them" while you laughed your ass off

Well, in the end, you did delete the video. What matters, after all, is that you had the most amazing picture ever, and you wouldn't trade it for the world

Bachira has it, too. As well as the whole Blue Lock members. But they don't have the other hundreds pictures of mini Rin that Sae secretly sent you. So, you're still winning.

Pls tell me yall saw this trend already.

[heylittleriotact]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the majority of death care professionals I’ve worked with have some sort of fucked up mortician-origin-story and got into funerals in the first place to either try and demystify death or cope with their trauma by constantly exposing themselves to it, and that’s literally what Emmrich has done his entire life and it’s why I love him so much.

Under the cut for some pretty raw death talk, including infant death, because fuck it - there’s a reason this pixel man lives rent free in my head and I’m about to get personal.

My Mom very unexpectedly and traumatically lost a full term pregnancy when I was 7. The first corpse I ever saw or touched was my dead sister. The first baby I held in my arms was dead.

What the fuck do you mean she’s dead? Why is she dead? She’s a baby. Babies don’t die. Old people die. Bad guys in movies die. Babies don’t.

And then from there it was like… months of infuriating and condescending bullshit from well-meaning people just wanting to reconcile with something that can’t really be reconciled with: people said a lot of stuff to me like, “it was God’s plan” or, “it wasn’t meant to be” or, “at least she didn’t suffer” or “God needed her more” and loads of other trite bullshit in the same vein, and it really, really fucked with me as a child.

I watched it destroy my already unstable mother and cause her to take out her complicated grief on me - her abusive tendencies sharply escalated after the loss. I think she resented me. I think she resented seeing how much the loss hurt me and felt that I had no right to be as upset as I was. I think she didn’t know how to support a grieving child when she didn’t even have the tools to support herself.

I felt so isolated and confused. I became obsessed with death and heaven and angels and the idea of a soul, and as I got older, I couldn’t let go of the belief that no child - or person for that matter - should have to go through what I did.

So I became a funeral director. Because if I could help one child in a horrific situation feel seen and validated, then I’d made a difference. If I could help one despondent mother towards the right resources, or even just fucking make her feel seen and validated too, maybe she’d wind up in a better place than mine did.

I wanted to say fuck you to death. I wanted to prove my defiance by helping the living people left behind pick up the pieces. I wanted to learn to handle the unavoidable, permanent, unfeeling existence of death with the cautious reverence that one would employ when handling a venomous snake. And I did. I helped a lot of people and it fed my soul in insurmountable ways.

I became that weird death obsessed friend who couldn’t talk about anything EXCEPT funerals and death and souls and embalming and what happens to your body when you die. If you had a curious question about death or funerals? I would jump on the chance to answer it for you. Needed help with the loss of a loved one? I’ve gotchu. I became The Death Guy (I guess I still kind of am - I’m still happy to front questions and help friends and family navigate death and funerals because the knowledge is all still there.)

Eventually it became a great way for me to bury other traumas that happened to me (an abusive childhood, sexual assault and all sorts of abuse at the hands of a partner) and just not really deal with them because I couldn’t: I didn’t have time to deal with my own shit because other people needed help more than me. After all, they were dealing with a death. My own problems were small in comparison, right?

It all caught up with me after living and working through the nightmare that was COVID, and I burnt out super hard, had a small breakdown, hit the sauce super hard for awhile, and developed a lovely anxiety disorder and full blown insomnia. Counselling and a career change have helped immensely, but yeah…

I obsess over this old man as much as I do because I see a lot of my own shit and insecurities and fears and unhealthy coping mechanisms in him, and I just want everything to be okay for him, because it ended up being okay for me. It just took a lot of fucking work to get there.

To be gifted a character as complex and real as Emmrich is some once in a lifetime shit, and I’m so glad he exists. Get his ass to therapy.

I'm glad we agree that Emmrich has an absolutely unconscionable amount of rizz. However, I also have a great appreciation for his proficiency at the great honored pastime of Being A Fucking Weirdo. My man goes to work at the Death Factory every single day and copes with his deep deep fear of dying by?? Cosplaying a skeleton? Taash was NOT WRONG when they called him the corpse guy. Even amongst other necromancers, he is THEE corpse guy! His best friend is a skeleton and he hasn't left the Cemetary Where He Lives for years. He is 90% ookie spooks and 10% bisexual disaster man. The only reason he's so suave and smooth is because the ookie spooks are actually load-bearing and manage to utterly obscure what a nervous wreck he is at all times of day. It's hard to give into the existential dread when you're spending all of your time saying shit like, "The tapestry of the Fade holds many threads."

I just know that this man is holding back the mother of all existential crises. He all but has it after he yoinks Rook out of the Fade but he bottles it back up so quick you KNOW that wasn't the whole thing. You KNOW that Rook is going to wake up in the middle of the night six months after Elgar'nan bites it and there Emmrich will be, lich or not, staring blankly at the ceiling and saying, "Darling, what does it all mean?" Emmrich Volkarin is a sexy, sexy man who needs therapy and some sleep and maybe an extended sabbatical from Dead People University.

[therandompagesblog]

Hunting Your Soul Chapter 3 🫀Y/N🫀

Trigger Warnings: Stalking, feelings of uncertainty.

A thud below causes me to wake up out of a restless sleep. It unnerved me to find someone had sent me a gift and I didn't know who they were or what they wanted. I sighed and rubbed my face when I heard the back door slam shut. I bolted up out of bed and went to the window to look at the garden. No one was there. My heart thumped in my chest as I felt a rude awakening. Someone was in my house. Someone who shouldn't be. It could have been my parents but they were not back yet. They were on their anniversary holiday so there was no one in the house. No pets. No fish. Nothing. Sighing. I got up from my bed and put on my slippers to head down the stairs. I turned the light on in the kitchen to look out of the window but I saw nothing. Stupidly, I opened the back door and stepped out into the cold breeze. This time the air felt normal. It was a bitter cold but it was nice. It was soothing considering what just happened until I saw a shadow on the grass. Someone was standing on the roof watching me. Slowly I turned around but they were gone in a heartbeat. "Come out," I asked. It was stupid of me to call out because nothing answered. "Please," I begged but nothing happened. I was frustrated now and was worked up over nothing. I got worked up over my Grandmother's sick fantasies. She was like a young adult obsessing over demonic creatures.

I did try to get back off to sleep but I found it difficult. It felt like someone was watching me sleep. Yet every time I woke up there was nothing in my room. It was like they were playing with me. Haunting me. Hunting me. I didn't even want to touch the books they got me. I didn't trust them. It felt like, if I touched them they would burn. I didn't want to be burnt. I even phoned my mother to see when she was due back but she reminded me for the seventh time not till the end of next week. My mother believed it could be my paranoia of living on my own that I was feeling worried so my mind was playing tricks on me. It was true I did feel that way. "Look. Duck. If you're feeling frightened you could always stay with your Dad's mum. She loves having you around." My mother told me. "I know Mum. I am probably being silly. But I swear the back door shut." I told her. I was stressing out about it massively as I poured myself a glass of water. "Did you lock the back door? You could have had a burglar." My father stressed in the background. I could hear my mother roll her eyes. "She doesn't go in the garden, Jim. The back door is probably still locked. It was probably the wind. We do live on the coast." My mother reminded him. "Look, Duck try not to worry it might have been your imagination. Try not to worry." "Yeah, I know Mum. If it happens again I'm moving in with Grandmother. Permanently." I told her. When I hung up I stared at the counter top wondering why I never told my mother about the package. I should have but my father would hit the roof. My mother would have ended her holiday to come back and see me. Maybe it was best to talk to my grandmother for her advice, but I swear to the lord above if she mentions some form of supernatural being stalking me I'm going to cry.

When I arrived and unlocked the door to my grandmother's house I saw her in her usual position. On the armchair with a werewolf book in her hand. A peach blanket wrapped around her as she read the words on the page. She was fixated. Too fixated to notice I was there. "Grandmother," I called out but she hummed in response. Waving me off. She knew someone was there and assumed it was me as I was the most common visitor. If it was a burglar she would still have the same response to them as me. Wave them off while she was engrossed in her book. I slowly walked up to her and placed my face in front of her. Earning a slap in the face from her book. "What is it you want?" She scolded me. "Someone was in my house last night," I told her. "Really? Why do you think, Duck?" I explained about the books that turned up the other day when I visited her. I confessed to her. My grandmother was surprised but listened as I explained someone was in my house. "Vampires!" Grandmother answered making me place my head in my hands. I knew it. I knew she would say it. I should have bet money on it. "Grandmother be serious for once in your beautiful life," I begged her. "He might be protecting you. From something darker. Or he's obsessed with you and wants your blood." Grandmother stated as she poked me. Her words sent shivers down my spine. I felt sick with her words. I felt cold. Her words were not in the slightest bit helpful to me. "Grandmother, do you read dark romance?" I looked at her smirk and cringed, "Grandmother that's-" "It's not disgusting. All women of all ages need a bit of hot sexy time in their life." She told me. "There's a word for it. It's called spice." I told her as I got up to make a cup of tea in the kitchen. I looked out her window to see the beach in front of her home. It was busy. Any one of those people who were facing this way could be the burglar or they weren't. I went outside into her garden and stopped. I closed my eyes and listened to my senses. I felt something musky come towards me. I felt its breath. When I opened my eyes it was gone. They were gone or so I thought.

18+ Taglist for those who are not turning back

@catlove83 @itsyourleilei @whatudowhennooneseesyou @leeknot @estella-novella @fackeraccount @eastjonowhere @cocofia143 @jennibahng @noerinspace @sleepingmissingprincess @ye0lkkot @hiitsmebbygrl16 @shhimhereforsmut @jaeminie-cricket @stayceebs97

[beef-brisket]

Lilith smirked: I see. You must be mourning the fool! Oh yes, I heard about his death. It sounds fitting, doesn't it. He always was a coward-.

Lucifer: Shut. Up. You don't get to speak of him.

Lilith: Let me guess. You didn't want him to die~. You're as much of a fool as him! It was only a few hundred years ago that you wanted to end him yourself!

Lucifer: I never meant it-!

Lilith: Sure you didn't, love~. Everything I did to that bastard was for you. For us! Why do you care if he got hurt? You're the one who always said he deserved it!

Lucifer: ENOUGH!

Lilith jumped back. She's never heard Lucifer yell before, especially to her.

Lilith: I-I don't understand! You hated him! He attacked Charlie! Killed our people! Why now are you defending a dead man?!

Lucifer: Because he's not dead! And he means something to me!

Lilith: He's... what? Adam's alive...? Oh, my god- and you're having a relationship with an ANGEL of all things?! Ha! Well, you're welcome to my beach home~. Oh wait, you're banished from Heaven, aren't you darling?

Lucifer smiled: He's not in Heaven. In fact, I believe he's upstairs right now. Looking at paint swatches. I've given him your end of the house to do what he pleases with~.

Lilith: You... he's... how DARE you! I am Hells queen! You dare move that PIG into my house?!

Lucifer: This hasn't been your house in seven years- you have no claim to it! And your title is officially forfeit! Hell only has its king. Its old queen was off playing house in Heaven of all places.

Lilith: You won't get away with this Lucifer. You're too weak, you're heart always gets in the way-! You can punish me all you want- but you'll come crawling back! My daughter will find out- and you'll be begging ME for mercy!

Lucifer glares: Not this time.

-

Adam has no idea how long he's been wondering the green house. Everywhere he looked, there was another pathway.

He was sketching some plants into a little notebook he found lying around. It's been a long time since he felt safe somewhere. He wasn't worried about an angel cornering him or someone demanding his presence.

Adam followed a path that was completely shaded by large trees and thick flower bushed. The silence was getting to him, his mind playing tricks of hearing the flapping of angelic wings. But he focused on his drawing, which calmed him quickly enough.

Lucifer pushed open the doors to the greenhouse. He was feeling emotionally exhausted from dealing with Lilith that he craved Adam. Which is something he never thought would happen.

Lucifer: Addie?

He couldn't see Adam anywhere, but he could sense him.

Lucifer walked off through the winding pathways. He doesn't know why he made the layout so confusing, maybe he wanted to get lost?

He was near the tulips and lily's when he heard the softest singing.

Lucifer smiled, knowing who it was.

Rounding a corner, Lucifer spotted Adam sitting on the outside of one of the small ponds Lucifer had made.

Lucifer: ...Adam...~.

Adam jumped and looked over to Lucifer, a wide smile on his face when he saw it was actually him, and not his mind playing tricks.

Adam: Hey! All finished with your work?

Lucifer shrugged before walking over and sitting next to him.

Lucifer: For today, I am. Wow, did you draw that?

Lucifer leaned over and smiled at Adam's notebook.

Adam: Fuck- yeah... their lame- it's been a while.

Lucifer: It's not lame. I think it's beautiful.

Adam blushed: Yeah? Well... thanks.

Lucifer: Anytime~.

Adam: This place is amazing. It's like an escape, I actually forgot... I was in Hell... for a second anyway.

Lucifer: That's why I made it. An escape. And a reminder.

Adam nodded: I had a garden too. It wasn't anything like this, but it was mine. I uh... stopped going to it.

Lucifer looked up at him: Why?

Adam: ...A few angels came to see me, and when I didn't answer the door, they came in. Saw it through the kitchen window, and went to look for me... they tainted the only place I had left. It sucked too much to go back there, so I just put some curtains up and locked the door outside... fuck, that sounds depressing. Just uh... a bird shat on me while I was out there, too.

Lucifer gave Adam a soft smile and rubbed his leg, doing his best to be comforting.

Lucifer: I'm sorry both of those things happened, Adam. If you'd like, we could put in your own greenhouse.

Adam perked up: Really?! Fuck yeah!

The Sin of Adam!au.

One more quick au before I fall asleep.

Adam falls to Hell after his death. But he doesn't wake up in Pride. He wakes up in Wrath. Adam is completely pissed off and just itching for revenge.

In this, Adam conquers each ring of Hell, growling stronger until he's on the same wavelength as Lucifer, power wise.

Lucifer has no idea what's going on. He's slowly losing contact with the Sins, and everyone is in a state of panic. That's until he returns home from a few days away, trying to find the Sins, that he sees his daughters hotel, and Pentagram city destroyed.

Thankfully, Charlie and her friends are fine. But what she explains is unbelievable.

Charlie: It was Adam, dad!

Lucifer: Adam? He's dead Charlie- I buried him myself.

Charlie: I thought so, too! He was looking for you! He's alive!

Lucifer gets his daughter to hide. Everything is in a state of chaos. He can't find Adam anywhere.

Until he returns home and sees someone sitting on his throne.

After a long, destructive fight, Lucifer realizes that Adam only absorbed the Sins. Their not dead

Adam has literally been taken over by the powers of Hell.

Can Lucifer contain and find a way to get Adam and the Sins back before he destroys Hell and everything undead thing in it??

How will Lucifer get Adam back??

Who knows 🤷

Adam: You can't defeat me now Lucifer!

Lucifer: Oh yes I can! I'm going to fuck the sins out of you!!

Adam: Wait what?

Ozzie inside: YEAH BABY!!

Sorry I'm feeling a little silly lmao 😂

[anomaliex]

Im very fond of soulmate AUs but I've never been a fan of the "you spend your whole life waiting for the ONE and you HAVE to date or you're weird" it feels iffy to me (I mean I'm arorace so maybe that's it). I enjoy "oh you're on the same wave length, if you meet you for sure will have a deep emotional connection with this person but who knows what it'll entail. And maybe you'll never meet but that doesn't mean your life will be any less fulfilled". It's more of a,,,you were born under the same star, lol? But yeah I wanna write a few fantasy high fics with that concept.

I'm partial to (temporarily) mirroring markings on each other's skin soulmate AUs but honestly I'm not super sure what to do with this one. But I'm throwing up ideas because I can't just stay silent, I'd explode.

Listen. Listen. Sandra Lynn and Gilear are soulmates. Being inherently compatible doesn't mean you can't fuck up. The two have a genuine connection and she loved Gilear but she was never 100% sure that she was in love with him, and monogamy maybe wasn't right for her either but she was ignoring all those doubts and complex feeling in favour of going for the safe and easy life that society expected and that would, short term, definitely make her happy. It'd make Gilear happy, too. (The possibility of living an immortal life without a partner by her side might have scared her more than the possibility of that partner not being the right one.) Both of them later find new happiness in their respective partners, and they're on okay terms but they never restore the closeness they once had. Which is okay, certain mistakes can't be undone even if they're forgiven, and certain relationships just won't be restored. But yeah complex feeling about this and how sometimes soulmates don't mean forever.

Branching off of this, Fig. The divorce causes all the problems with Fig it normally does, but it also makes her write off the idea of soulmates completely. True love doesn't exist type deal (which I agree with. Feelings can change and you have the potential to love anyone, and anyone has the potential to be loved. But for a teenage girl that might have previously romanticised the concept of it this realisation can be upsetting and lead into the other extreme, which is that love in general can never be sincere. Which hey, is a sad outlook.) She tries to replicate the feeling for validation with faces that aren't her own but eventually finds someone that loves her for her and becomes comfortable being the person she is. Ayda happens to be her soulmate but they'd love each other regardless of that.

(Ayda's past incarnations have had varying soulmates. The ones she has records of never met theirs and she really was in the "why would I have one in the first place" mindset. Who knows about the Aydas that came before her, It's so far in the past that I don't think it matters.)

(Idk if Jawbone has a soulmate and if he does idk if he has met them. But I don't think that matters much they're not on his mind.)

Less romance related take on soulmates are Fabian and Riz I think! Fabian is in denial at first because Riz is a loser (not that Fabian isn't a loser lmao. But Riz is like, a social loser.) but Riz immediately decides this is his GUY. This is his best friend. And Fabian does too honestly but it takes him a while to get over being a shitty teenager and be open about it. The whole sophomore year stuff. I do think Riz is aroace and I have my. aro-spec thoughts about Fabian so this can go either "just" best friends (I don't want to de-value purely platonic relationships they're SO good and important and shouldn't be placed below romantic ones all the time) or venture into more queerplatonic territory. Which I also really like with those two lol. But they're a package deal with a deep connected and care for each other greatly :)

Gorgug hasn't met his soulmate and he truly does not care. He has all the time in the world, and if he never meets them that's fine too? His parents are definitely soulmates but being raised by them I think it'd truly be so hard to become insecure about societal expectations like that. This is covered somewhere in the sex and relationship folder probably. Gorgug is such a guy. Zelda, Mary-Ann, Squeem, Unit, Ragh(??). Everyone wants him. He's mostly up for it. SUCH a guy.

Oh! Also. Lucy and Kipperlilly were soulmates. Just, cause, yeah. I think Lucy has so much shit to work through in therapy and this might be #1 on the list because, like, yeah.

Oh also non-romantic soulmates Adaine and Aelwyn,,,they're so important to me. They're so important to each other too. For a really long time Adaine thought something must be wrong with her for her soulmate to treat her like this, something must be wrong with the world for the stars to align only to promise her cruelty. They're okay now. Aelwyn of course felt deeply guilty for everything she was doing but also shoved said guilt so far down she barely felt it. Their relationship is already perfectly articulated in canon I don't have much to add to this, I just wanna write them softly rebuilding their relationship I love them so dearly.

[lovelyjj]

can u pls do younger sister! reader of jj where he comforts her cause she's scared of the fireworks from New years

New Years

jj maybank x younger!sister!reader

a/n: sorry this sucks

Everyone you knew always made a big deal about new years. Every year it made you nervous. You hated the fireworks. They were too loud and it hurt your ears. The loud booms gave you anxiety. It practically sent you into a panic attack. You were seriously dreading new years. It was the morning on new year’s eve, the calm before the storm.

“So what’s the plan for today?” You asked your brother.

“Hmm I think the pogues are gonna have a countdown here at the château.”

“Oh okay,” you replied.

You and the other pogues hung out for a while, for most of the day actually. Everything was going fine. You enjoyed the company. You loved your friends dearly. Everyone was buzzing and excited for the new year.

After the year you had you were excited for a fresh start. Constantly dodging your father and practically living at the château. Almost loosing your brother who is constantly on the bad side of the police. He’s adventurous and reckless and you love him but god you can’t stand the thought of loosing him some day.

JJ was always there for you. He was the best brother you could ever ask for. He truly cared for you and your friends. Not only was he your brother but he was your friend. He was protective and everything an older brother should be.

“So you got any new year’s resolutions?” John B asked JJ.

“Hmm, let’s see maybe win the Enduro and possibly go full kook.” JJ smiled.

“Sounds good,” John B replied.

“What about you Y/N, do you have any goals for this coming year,” John B turned towards you.

“I’m I haven’t really thought about it but maybe get better at surfing.”

“That’s a good one,” JJ commented.

You and the other pogues gathered outside around the fire. It was getting later and later and soon the countdown was about to begin. Kiara got her phone out and started the countdown.

“10!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!”

“6!”

“5!”

“4!”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

“Ahhh!” you screamed.

“Happy New Year!” Everyone shouted.

There was an onslaught of fireworks. They were everywhere and they were super loud. The giant booms made your heart quicken in pace. Your palms got all sweaty and you covered your ears trying to drown out the noise but it was no use.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” JJ asked looking at you concerned.

“The fireworks I hate them, they scare me,” you told JJ.

“Hey no need to be scared I’m right here and I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.”

JJ put his arm around you and took you into the house. He sat you down in the kitchen and started to make you a cup of tea. The warm mug sat in front of you and you sipped it from time to time. “Thanks J.”

“You’re welcome.”

BOOM!

You flinched and cursed. “Fuck, I hate those high pitched screaming ones.”

“Don’t swear,” JJ scolded.

“You do it all the time,” you countered.

“Yeah well don’t be like me I’m an idiot.”

“No you’re not.”

*BOOM!*

You covered your face with your hands and you were shaking. JJ felt terrible and he wanted to do whatever he could to help you feel better.

“The fireworks won’t last forever.” JJ tried.

“Seems like they will,” you replied.

*BOOM!*

“Ahh!”

“God dammit those fuckers,” JJ yelled.

Then JJ looked at your face that was close to tears and he softened.

“shh s’okay,” JJ soothed.

JJ gave you a bear hug and then patted your shoulder. “Why don’t you go lay down in my bed and try to sleep.”

“Okay.”

Eventually the fireworks subsided and you were able to catch a few winks of sleep. JJ helped you through it because he’s always been the best big brother ever and you were really lucky to have him.

[dreamingstraykids]

Hello! Can you write lee!Jiusng please? Maybe with ler!Stray kids or Bangchan? It will be funny. Thankss :)

TICKLE STORM

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

This is a tickle FIC. If u are uncomfortable keep scrolling

Lee! Han 🐿️

Lers! Stray Kids 🫶🏻

Thanks for the request. I hope you like it 🫶🏻

Note: the way I love Han’s laughter 🫠🫠

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It was a rare evening where Stray Kids had no schedule. The dorm was buzzing with energy, as the members gathered in the living room, brainstorming what to do with their free time. Lee Know was lounging on the couch, Felix was baking cookies in the kitchen, and Bang Chan had just walked in with a mischievous grin.

Han Jisung, oblivious to the trouble brewing, was lying on the floor, scrolling through his phone with his legs resting on Hyunjin’s lap. He wore an oversized hoodie and shorts, a combination that left his sensitive legs dangerously exposed.

“I’m bored,” Bang Chan announced, rubbing his hands together.

“We could play a game,” Seungmin suggested, though his sly glance at Han hinted at an entirely different idea.

“Truth or dare?” Changbin offered, smirking.

Bang Chan shook his head. “Too tame. I think we should tickle the boredom away.” His eyes locked onto Han, who immediately froze, realizing he was the target.

“Wait! No, no, no!” Han scrambled to sit up, his voice a mix of panic and laughter already. “Guys, don’t even think about it!”

“Why not?” Hyunjin teased, poking Han’s side and grinning when the younger boy flinched. “You’re basically asking for it with how ticklish you are.”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we tested your limits,” Lee Know added, stretching dramatically as if warming up for the inevitable.

“Test my limits?! Are you trying to kill me?” Han squeaked, backing up against the wall.

Before he could escape, Bang Chan lunged forward, trapping Han with a playful grin. “Sorry, Jisungie, but this is happening.”

“Chan-hyung, please—” Han’s plea was cut off as Bang Chan’s fingers darted to his ribs, squeezing lightly. The result was instant. Han burst into uncontrollable giggles, squirming as he tried to wiggle free.

“Hyung! NOHOHOHO!” Han cried out, his high-pitched laughter filling the room.

“That’s adorable,” Felix called from the kitchen, peeking his head out to watch the chaos unfold. “Get him for me, Chan!”

“Gladly!” Bang Chan replied, adding more pressure to Han’s ribs.

Hyunjin, not wanting to miss out, grabbed Han’s ankle, scribbling his fingers across the sole of his sock-covered foot. “Wow, he’s so sensitive here,” Hyunjin noted, laughing along with Han’s hysterics.

“NO! Hyunjin, NOT THEREE AHAHAHAH!” Han shrieked, his laughter bordering on silent. He flailed his arms and legs, trying to kick Hyunjin away, but it was useless.

“Let me try,” Changbin said, joining the fun. He knelt by Han’s knees and began gently pinching the sensitive spots.

“AHHH! BINNIE-HYUNG! NOOO! PLEASE AHAHAHAH” Han was a mess now, tears forming in his eyes as his laughter rang out uncontrollably.

Even Seungmin, who usually played the observer, couldn’t resist. “His neck is a weak spot, right?” he asked, crawling closer and wiggling his fingers under Han’s chin.

“Seungmin, don’t you dare!NOOO! HAHAHAHAHAH! ” Han managed to gasp between fits of laughter.

“Too late,” Seungmin said with a wicked grin, gently skittering his fingers along Han’s neck and making the boy squirm like crazy.

Lee Know, who had been watching with an amused smile, finally decided to join in. He grabbed Han’s arm and gently dug into his armpits. “You didn’t think you’d escape me, did you?”

“STOP! STOHOP! I CAN’T!” Han was thrashing now, his voice hoarse from laughter.

“Okay, okay, let’s give him a break,” Bang Chan said, finally pulling back. The rest of the members reluctantly let go, leaving Han sprawled on the floor, gasping for air. His face was bright red, and his hoodie was halfway up his torso from all the struggling.

“You guys are the worst,” Han mumbled, though the smile on his face betrayed any real anger.

“Admit it, you love it,” Bang Chan teased, ruffling Han’s hair.

“I do not!” Han protested, pouting.

“Sure you don’t,” Lee Know said with a smirk. “You’re just too cute when you laugh.”

Felix came over with a tray of cookies, kneeling beside Han. “Here, Jisungie, you earned these.”

Han grabbed a cookie and took a bite, still catching his breath. “You guys owe me so much.”

Han was still sprawled on the floor, desperately trying to recover from the first round of tickle attacks, but the other members weren’t done with him yet.

“Alright, alright,” Han said between gasps, holding up his hands in surrender. “You had your fun. Can we call a truce now?”

Bang Chan exchanged a glance with Lee Know, a mischievous glint in both their eyes. “A truce? Hmm…” Chan pretended to think, tapping his chin dramatically. “What do you guys think?”

“I think he’s asking for more,” Hyunjin said with a grin.

“Nohoho, I’m not!” Han yelped, trying to scoot away.

“Sorry, Jisungie,” Seungmin said, cracking his knuckles. “You know the rule: no mercy.”

Before Han could protest, Felix pounced on him from behind, wrapping his arms around Han’s torso. “I’ve got him, guys!” Felix giggled, holding Han in place as the others closed in.

“Felix, let me go! You’re supposed to be on my side!” Han cried, twisting helplessly in Felix’s hold.

“Not today, mate,” Felix replied, skittering his fingers along Han’s sides. Han immediately burst into another fit of giggles, squirming like a fish out of water.

“Perfect! He’s pinned!” Changbin announced, diving for Han’s legs. He grabbed both ankles, pulling off Han’s socks with a flourish. “Bare feet, let’s go!”

“Changbin-hyung, NOOO! NOT BARE AHAHAHAHA!” Han screamed, his voice already hoarse from laughing.

Changbin didn’t listen, scribbling his fingers across Han’s soles while Felix kept tickling his sides. The combination was deadly, and Han’s laughter went silent as he bucked wildly.

“Guys, I think he’s going to explode!” Jeongin said, laughing as he joined in, targeting Han’s knees with gentle pinches.

“Explode? Nah, he can take more,” Lee Know said, straddling Han’s waist and attacking his ribs with precision. “He’s tougher than he looks.”

“NOHOHO! I’M NOT!” Han squealed, tears streaming down his face as the tickling intensified. “I CAN’T TAKE IT! PLEASE STOP AHAHAHAH!

“Don’t worry, we’ll stop…eventually,” Seungmin teased, going for Han’s neck again.

“NOO! YOU ARE TOHOH MEAN AAHAHAH! !” Han gasped, trying to swat Seungmin’s hands away, but his attempts were futile.

Meanwhile, Bang Chan orchestrated the chaos like a conductor. “Alright, everyone! Let’s go for a team attack! Hyunjin, get his tummy! Jeongin, go for his thighs! Felix, hold him steady!”

“NOOO! PLEAHAHAH STOHAHHAP !” Han howled, but it was too late. Hyunjin grinned wickedly as he lifted Han’s hoodie, revealing his vulnerable stomach. He wasted no time, lightly tracing circles around Han’s bellybutton, making the younger boy arch his back with a scream.

“His thighs are the worst,” Jeongin said, squeezing them gently and grinning when Han let out a high-pitched shriek.

“I HATE ALL OF YOOHOHAHAHU!” Han managed to yell, though his laughter betrayed him.

“Love you too, buddy,” Bang Chan said, diving in to tickle Han’s armpits.

It was total mayhem. Han was thrashing so hard he almost knocked Lee Know off his perch, but the members were relentless, tickling him from every angle.

“Okay, okay, STOOP AHAHA!” Han finally croaked, his voice barely audible over his uncontrollable laughter. “I GIVE UP!”

The members immediately backed off, laughing as Han lay on the floor in a heap, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

“Man, that was intense,” Hyunjin said, flopping onto the couch.

“You’re a good sport, Jisung,” Bang Chan said, patting Han’s head affectionately.

Han glared at them weakly, but the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. “I hate you all…but I love you too.”

“See? He had fun,” Felix said, handing Han a glass of water.

“Fun?” Han wheezed. “That was torture.”

Lee Know smirked. “You know what they say: laughter is the best medicine.”

“I’ll remember this, guys,” Han muttered, though his flushed face and lingering giggles made it clear he wasn’t too upset.

As the chaos died down, the members lounged around the living room, teasing and joking with each other. Even Han, still recovering, couldn’t help but laugh along, clung to Lee know while others cuddled him too to help him recover form the torture. In the end, the dorm was filled with warmth, laughter, and the undeniable bond of a family that thrived on chaos and love.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[st4rgirllv]

𝐅𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐭. 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚

And you keep on falling, baby, figure it out Just drive slow, straightforward, or I'm walking around And your dad keeps calling, tell him, "Cut that shit out" Just keep steering, keep steering now

Synopsis: Late night drives with your bad influence boyfriend, Rintaro Suna

cw: fluff, angst cursing, not proofread, sh mentioned, abusive dad, 3rd year hs suna, mention of sex

"Hello?" Suna picked up his cell phone and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked for the time only to see how late it was. "It's 3 a.m., who's this?" He tried to check for a contact, but the screen was blinding him.

"Rin? D-do you think you could... uhm, pick me up?" you asked your boyfriend. He knew something was wrong because you were sniffling and whispering during the call. "Rin?" you panted, trying to calm down. "My- my dad's kind of.. uh, upset and I just don't wanna be here right now."

"Yeah, sure. I'll come by the back. be there in five, okay? Just lay low 'til I get there." Suna reassures you. Okay, well now he's fully awake.

The car drive was silent. Although he's your boyfriend and should ask stuff on why you wanted to be picked up, from the bruises on your face and arms, he thought maybe you'd want to talk at your own pace. It'd be fucking stupid if he asked if you were okay after seeing you like that.

So, he helped you sneak out and get into his car and drove around the neighborhood for at least 30 minutes while you looked out with your hands in between your knees before you spoke.

"Sorry, I had to call you up this late..." You did everything not to look the brunette. "My dad was acting up again and he just had a drink and I happened to be in his way when he threw a baseball so I got a bruise and everything..." you rambled.

"Fuck that," Suna cut you off, turning the corner. He sounded pissed for the right reasons.

"Sorry?" you asked, confused.

"I can't stand you defending your father again and again after he keeps hurting you like this," Suna parked on one of the sidewalks and looked at you. "Have you seen yourself? You're covered in bruises and all you're thinking about is justifying your asshole dad's action." He gestured at you, rolling his eyes.

"I'm not saying that what my dad did was fine! I was saying that it was an accident and that it wasn't his fault because he was drunk!" You explained, tears forming in your eyes.

"Who are you fucking kidding? Look at yourself, you look like you just left a gang fight." He opened the car mirror. "yn... I'm tired of answering your calls just because wanna escape your dad," you looked at each other in silence

"Look," Suna grabbed your arms, bruised with cuts and scars. "Every time you call me I always hope that it's because maybe you miss me or- or that you wanna have phone sex or something, I mean I'd be down to do that," He kept on talking, making you chuckle.

"But I seriously don't wanna hear you say you need me to pick you up while you're sobbing after your dad hit you because that would mean I'd have to see you hurt. That hurts me too."

You were so glad you never believed those dark rumors about Suna because he's quite the opposite. "I'm sorry," was all you could say.

"I told you, you should've just lived with us. My mom loves you so much, God knows why. She probably loves you more than me," your boyfriend cringed at the thought as he restarted the car. "I mean you are living in scholarship, you can totally live with us."

"Do you want anything? We're gonna pass by a 24/7 store here, I'm gonna buy you some bandages for your bruises, then we're gonna go to the beach so you can rest." Suna repeatedly looked at you to see how you were doing.

You couldn't help but smile. You didn't know how lucky you were that Suna was here. Maybe he's all you needed. "Hmm.. I want M&Ms with peanuts, snickers, iced tea, and did I mention M&Ms with peanuts?" you pretended to be curious.

"Yes, you have. What a way to spend my money but you know what they say, "happy wife, happy life."" The brunette shrugged.

"Really? I'm your wife now?" You asked, giggling.

"Yes, you've always been my wife, just not officially yet, you know." He reached for your hand, intertwining them together.

You wanted to stay like this forever.

Ring... Ring... Ring...

"It's my dad..." you looked at Suna as he parked near the 24/7 store.

"Look, just ignore it. If your dad keeps calling before I come back, just tell him to cut that shit out, you're not going back there." He left the car and walked over to the store.

You did what he said, your dad had called at least 5 times before Suna could come back. "Is he still calling?" your boyfriend settled in the car.

"Yeah, Rin, maybe I should just answer it. Maybe he's gonna apologize, you know-" you tried to argue back

Ring... Ring... Ring...

"Maybe he's just checking up- Hey!" Suna suddenly took your phone and left the car "Rin! RIntaro, come back here! Ugh!" how dare he put you in child lock?!

After 10 minutes of pouting, your boyfriend finally went back into the car. He seemed proud of himself until he saw your face after he gave back the phone. "Oh, c'mon don't pout. I just told him to fuck off."

"Rintaro, I swear I'm gonna hit you." You pointed a finger at him.

"Okay, I just told him being an alcoholic isn't an excuse for being a bad dad. I just protected you, is that so bad?" Suna's eyebrows furrowed.

"I guess not..." You looked to the side.

"See? Now let me treat your bruises," His lips met yours, moving at a slow pace. "Mmh... then maybe we can have a little car sex, that's kinda one of my dreams-" After he pulled away you hit him on the shoulder, with a smile on your face.

"Oh, my- stop that!"

"Okay, I'm sorry! Now let's hurry so we can head to the beach." Your boyfriend said, pulling out the medicine.

"Thank you, Rin. I don't deserve you, I swear."

"You deserve the world, you should know that."

ᯓ★ I liked this, it's not that bad. Anyway, thank you for reading<3 | Masterlist

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

And of course, I’m loving the throuple. Here’s a chance to let loose on some throuple feels:

🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼🔼

- Sarah

THANKS!

135 for 1k for 🔼:

---

“Does it always feel like that for you?” He asks carefully. “When I’m working?”

“Always? No,” she says. “Just… Sometimes. When I hear you’ve almost died…”

“Right, okay,” he nods. “So, it’s not like…”

“Oh my god,” Shannon realizes. “Eddie, I’m not asking you to quit.”

His face washes with relief. “Oh.”

She gets why he thought that. She can see it clearly. That was always the fight, right? Why did he enlist? Why did he reenlist? Why couldn’t he be there? At home, instead of at work. An argument that had never ended. She had grown to resent his job, the military, so much that she still gets a prickle of annoyance when she sees a soldier romance novel or movie. Not that that’s entirely fair. The army didn’t make him sign up without running it by her. 

“It’s different,” Shannon says. “I know they’re not the same.”

“Okay,” Eddie says. “Okay, good, because I… I really do love this job, Shannon. It’s not just…”

“I know,” she says. “I’m not suggesting you leave. I’m just saying it brought all the same feelings back, when I heard about the well, as when they called me and said your chopper went down.”

He nods a little, eyes downturned. 

“It did for me, too.”

Shannon looks at him, stunned. He never talks about that. Usually gets annoyed when she tries to bring it up. Or at least, he did. Back… Back before. 

“That must have been hard,” she murmurs.

“Yeah,” he says. “It was.”

It’s not a lot, but it’s more than she’s used to. 

“I know you… I know you’re not reckless or someone who tries to get hurt,” Shannon says. “I’m not… That’s not… I guess, just, what if the worst happened?”

“If I died? On shift?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, or… I guess it’s not even just about at work. I mean, I got hit by a car in May. That could have easily been worse,” she says. 

Eddie’s mouth tightens. “God, I don’t want to think about that.”

“Me neither, but…”

“But we have to, is where you’re going with all this?”

“Yeah,” Shannon agrees. “I think we have to.”

Because one of them could die. Eddie, at work, easily. Either of them, out of work, in some freak accident. Crossing the street… 

“Okay,” Eddie says tightly. “What, uh… What do you want to… To talk about?”

“We should have a plan,” Shannon says. 

“A plan?” Eddie repeats. 

“Yes, a plan,” Shannon says. “Because after feeling sick about the idea of you being gone for an hour, I… I wondered, what the hell would I do?” 

Eddie thinks about this. 

“If I died, I mean… That would be hard, but-”

“Shannon, that wouldn’t be just hard. That would destroy me,” Eddie says, voice deadly serious. “Don’t play that down.”

Shannon is quiet for a second, a little thrown off by the intensity of his words.

“Okay, uh… I just mean… You could literally afford me dying. I can’t afford you dying. And, yes, obviously it would devastate me, too. You know it would. I’m just not sure how I’d keep us going… All three of us, without you.”

Eddie shakes his head. “No, you… You could-”

“No,” she shakes her head. “Not… Not with all the resources Chris needs, Eddie. And babies are so expensive. Medical bills, without your insurance? I couldn’t. I have no education or qualifications-”

“Shannon, I’m-”

“Not your fault,” she cuts him off. “Just the way it went. But, would we survive? Sure. Maybe. Would we thrive… I don’t know. And tell me you think your parents wouldn’t sue for custody.”

“They would,” Eddie agrees. “They totally would. If it’s any consolation, I think they’d sue for custody if you died, too. They don’t trust me anymore.”

“So?” Shannon shrugs. “We need a plan. For if either of us die. Oh, god. If both of us died.”

“Why would both of us die?” Eddie asks. 

“Do you remember the tsunami that nearly killed Buck, Chris, and I?” Shannon asks.

“That’s not going to happen again,” Eddie says. “Right? That’s definitely not a normal thing.”

“Eddie! How many people do you see die tragically every week?” Shannon huffs, slightly exasperated.

Eddie dips his head. “Too many.”

“Too many, right,” Shannon nods. “So let’s just have a plan for the most tragic thing, okay? Because I’ve almost lost you twice.” 

Eddie takes a deep breath. “Okay. Okay, you’re right.”

“Thank you,” Shannon sighs, relieved.

“We should update our wills, and… And if… You know, if I did die, you know Buck would… Buck would help you.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like you and he are married, it’s not-”

“No, I mean he’d want to,” Eddie says. “In either case… I-in any case, he’d want to help with the kids.”

Shannon considers this. He would. She knows Eddie is right. Buck wouldn’t just step out of their lives because Eddie died.

[blessedbyahuntress]

Two Demigods and a Goddess

Pairing: Leo Valdez x Daughter!of!Hades!Reader

Warnings: I don't think so

Word Count: 1.9k

You dipped your feet in the water, sighing as it cooled your skin. 

The sun shone down on your face, blinding you as you slipped your hoodie off; it was too hot to be wearing extra layers.

You traced the lines that had been engraved into the rock beside you with your knife- your only possession when you were sentenced to this island. Twenty four lines, twenty four months, or two years, if you preferred. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a flash of light. You turned your head toward it and frowned, puzzled. Another innocent girl coming to join you in Ogygia? 

You decided not to dwell on it, instead taking your dagger out of its sheath. You angled yourself back to the rock to draw a few more images. Calypso would tell you if anything major happened while you were away.

After all, nothing really happened often on this isle. Usually.

At least, that’s what you thought until you heard Calypso practically scream, “what are you doing? You blew up my dining table!”

“Great,” you muttered, rising to your feet. You slipped on your sandals, speed walking to the shore of the island. 

~

You stayed in the shadows, watching your best friend sassily argue with a short, curly haired Latino. 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” He said. You could tell that he already disliked Calypso. “I just fell out of the sky. I constructed a helicopter in midair, burst into flames halfway down, and barely survived. But by all means- let’s talk about your dining table!”

“Who puts a dining table on the beach where innocent demigods can crash into it?” He continued. “Who does that?”

Calypso clenched her fists, looking about ready to march down to the Latino and punch him in the face. 

Before she could do anything of the sort, you emerged from the shadows, compliments from your father. 

“Well, well, well,” you said, strolling up to the pair. “What do we have here, Calypso?”

She snorted. “No one important, as you can see.”

You tsked. “You should at least ask his name, before you label him as ‘not important’.”

The boy beamed at you. “Why, thank you, Sunshine!” He looked you up and down. “I must say- loving the outfit, too. Sandals with cargo pants? I don’t know a lot of people who could pull that off.”

You raised your eyebrows, slipping your sunglasses back over your eyes. “The one thing I’ll allow you to label him as, without asking his name, is annoying.”

The boy raised a hand to his chest, acting like he was wounded. “Oh, how your words hurt me, Sunshine! But your gloomy aesthetic isn’t fooling me any time soon!”

You scowled and turned to Calypso. “This’ll be tough,” you muttered.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “He’s by far not as attractive as Odysseus nor Percy, and he’s rather annoying. How do we get him out of here?”

“Tell you what.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I’ll take him to my side of the island. And maybe, just maybe, I can build something that’ll get him out of here.”

Calypso gave a small nod, relief overtaking her features as she slowly walked back toward the winding trail which led to her home. You watched her go until she was out of sight. 

Turning to the boy, you said, “what’s your name?”

He got up, and you realized he was clutching an odd-looking sphere. You raised your eyebrows as he stumbled out of the wreckage of Calypso’s dining table.

“Leo,” he answered. “Leo Valdez.”

You gestured to a different footpath a bit of a walk away from the one Calypso had run off to. “Alright, Valdez. Follow me, don’t ask any stupid questions, and I’ll make you as comfortable as I can. If you ask me anything along the lines of, “who are you?” or, “Why are you here?” I’ll skewer you.”

You grinned at his slightly uneasy expression before stalking off into the woods. 

~

Leo found you the next day.

You were wandering the shores of Ogygia, fiddling with a black ring that had been gifted to you from Hades. 

You jumped when the Latino from the day before tapped you on the shoulder.

You turned the skull on your ring toward the left, the simple piece of jewelry enlarging into a stygian iron dagger. The blade found its place under his chin in one swift movement. 

He yelped.

“Oh,” you said, sounding rather disappointed. “It’s just you.”

Leo released a breath. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Just me.”

You rolled your eyes, removing the knife from his neck. “I mean just you as in, ‘oh, it’s an annoying boy who I unfortunately am not allowed to decapitate yet, though it would be fun to do so.’.” 

He blinked, and you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. “Yes, Valdez? What do you want?”

Leo blinked again, trying to ignore the strong scent of your perfume. It smelled so good. 

“Valdez?”

He realized he’d been staring at you, and had to rip his gaze away. “Uhm,” he said. 

You quirked an eyebrow.

He felt his mouth get dry as he tried to remember what he’d come to ask you for. Gods, why did you have to apply your makeup much better than you had yesterday?

“Uh… I-You.” Leo could tell you were growing impatient. “Do you have any scrap metals?” He blurted.

You barked a laugh, and Leo found himself loving the sound of it. 

“Of course I have scrap metal!” You exclaimed. “For gods sake, I have a whole forge!”

This earned you another blink from Leo. 

You grabbed his wrist, dragging him to the cave a few feet away.

Stopping in front of the entrance, you announced, “this is my home. You’re welcome here, but only, and I repeat only, to ask a question, grab food, or use the forge. You still get to sleep outside.”

“Yippee!” Leo remarked sarcastically. 

You scowled at him, dropping his forearm. Gesturing farther into the cave, you started retreating back into the sunlight. 

“You’ll find everything prepped and ready for use,” you told him before vanishing from his sight.

~

You hadn’t returned that night. Nor the night after that one. 

Leo hadn’t even thought about it until you showed up holding a basket of grapes and a loaf of bread.

“Valdez.”

He glanced up and nearly smashed his thumb with his hammer; he’d forgotten how utterly breathtaking you were. 

“You haven’t eaten in two days,” you said, frowning. “You need to take a break, Leo.”

It was the first time Leo had heard you use his first name instead of ‘Valdez’, and he tried to ignore the fact that he wanted you to say it more often.

“Two days?” He asked.

You nodded seriously before snorting. You moved to grab his hand before he could bash his thumb with his hammer. 

Your touch burned. In fact, it seemed like his skin was still on fire from where you’d grabbed his wrist earlier in the week. He tried to ignore the sensation, having to focus on the food in your other hand instead. He didn’t find this to be a very difficult task, considering that he was starved. 

You took the hammer from Leo’s hand gently, setting it off to the side. 

Satisfied that he would stop and eat, you gestured to the table a few feet away. “Sit with me, Valdez. Let’s eat.”

Once properly situated- Leo sitting like a normal human being, while you put your feet up on the table- you ripped off a chunk of bread for yourself, offering the rest of the loaf to the boy next to you.

He took it as you chewed your piece with a thoughtful expression. 

“I think I’m ready to tell you about myself,” you decided.

Leo, who was apparently trying to see how many grapes he could feet in his mouth without choking, froze.

You tilted your chin up, avoiding his gaze as you said, “i’m Y/N L/N, daughter of-”

“Hades,” Leo finished. “Variable of the Battle of Manhattan, assassin for hire, most deadly and unpredictable demigod in the world.” He released a breath. “Yeah, I’ve heard about you.” 

Your gaze flickered to him, surprised when you didn’t see what you were expecting; Leo’s eyes meeting yours, understanding, curiosity, and perhaps admiration in the depths of his stare. 

“Don’t you… hate me?” You couldn’t help but ask in a hushed voice. 

Leo frowned. “Hate you? Why would I hate you?”

“Because…” You struggled with an answer. 

The boy beside you rose to his feet, taking both of your hands in his. “Y/N, I don’t think I could ever hate you for anything, much less the things you had to do.”

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. The only other person who’d reacted like this had been… no one, actually. “I-I-” You stammered. “I don’t know what to say.”

Leo gave you a small smile. “You don’t have to say anything. Just know what I say is true.”

You found yourself looking to the entrance of the cave. You stood abruptly, dragging the Latino boy after you as you ran to the beach. 

“Whoa!” He yelped. “Y/N, what’re you…”

He trailed off as he saw the raft that awaited on the shore. 

“Hurry!” You said, tugging him toward the raft. “I don’t know how long it will stay!”

“But…” Leo found himself not able to finish that sentence as you glared at him over your shoulder.

“Come on, Valdez!” You cried. “Move! It’s supposed to take you where you want to go, but the island’s magic is obviously unstable! You have to rig up your guidance device to navigate!”

You continued to sprint to the raft, Leo behind you; he’d snapped out of his daze when he realized you had grabbed the console from the other table beside the forge. 

You and Leo worked in sync, stepping back once you were sure everything was situated correctly. 

“Go,” you said, stepping off of the raft. You inched back a bit when Leo hopped off too. 

He grabbed your hand again, and you stared down at your intertwined fingers. “I’m not leaving without you.”

“You have to.” You cursed yourself for how heartbroken you sounded.

“Then, once the war is over, I'll come back to you.”

“Leo-”

“I know that no man has ever landed here twice, but I have to. I’ll find a way, Y/N. If it’s the last thing I-”

You lurched forward and placed your lips on his.

Leo’s brain seemed to have short-circuited. He stood there for a moment, unsure if this was real, if you were real- ‘cus it sure as hell felt like he was dreaming.

Then he closed his eyes, hands finding a place on your waist. 

You pulled away far too soon, in Leo’s opinion.

“Go,” you repeated, stepping away.

“Okay.”

“And don’t give me any empty promises.”

“Okay.”

Leo stepped back onto the raft, not sure if it was salt water or tears running down his cheeks. 

He looked back at Ogygia, only to find it was only a spec in the distance now.

You had said not to give you any empty promises. And he wouldn’t. 

He’d give you his vow.

“I’m coming back to you, Y/N,” he whispered. “I swear it on the River Styx.”

[freckledjoes]

For the FRECKLEDJOES' JOLLY REQUEST CORNER, could you maybe do some drabble of Steve finding Eddie in the Upside Down, who is alive and more than a little confused as to why and how that happened. Last thing Eddie remembered was dying, bleeding to death. Now here he is, panicking in front of Steve Harrington, of all people.

Hi there! Thank you for the request :) It was quite an idea to put into a little drabble so I fear it may feel a little rushed for a big topic like this, but I hope you'll like it either way! <3 I didn't go into detail about the how's and why's too much and focused on their dynamic instead. Sorry if that makes it a bit vague here and there!

Time and time again

His ears were ringing. It was maddening how loud, really. The world around him was black and his eyelids felt heavier than ever. He could feel a sore pain around his wrists, which… didn’t make sense. Right? He died, fighting those goddamn bats. He was alone— or wait, no, Dustin? Dustin was there too… right? He tried to move around but the cuffs didn’t budge. It seemed like he was hugging some type of pole that was stuck in the ground. A small voice in the back of his head told him that it made no sense that his sides weren’t hurting, but the next moment he wasn’t sure why. Everything made sense and yet nothing didn’t. He groaned as he tried to move around again, kicking his feet to feel out his surroundings. Nothing. Except the grass licking into the small gap between his jeans and his boots.

“Fuck,” Eddie groaned. The heaviness finally lifted from his eyes enough to blearily open them and take in his surroundings. Still as dark and dull as ever. Great. But…

He was alive.

And alone. Where the hell were the others? Vecna didn’t seem the type to deal with handcuffs, with all those vines on hand. But whoever did, for some reason, they only captured him. Which… he had zero collection of. What the fuck was going on? His vision slowly got up to speed with the darkness, his surroundings becoming more distinguishable by the minute now. A creak on his left made him shift suddenly as he cautiously turned his head to the sound.

A swing.

Looking further, he realized he was stuck on a playground. He vaguely recognized it, wouldn’t know the street it was on but would know how to walk there from his home. His home… which suffered destruction thanks to— right, yes, Vecna.

“Hello?” Eddie called out, getting impatient now that he’d spent almost ten minutes (his patience wasn’t all that admirable) of waiting and kicking around. He sighed loudly and tried to remember if he had anything useful on him, if it hadn’t been taken by his captor. Looking down, he noticed the shimmer of a silver bobby pin he had secured to the pocket of his jeans. Hell yeah. With that, he could get the cuffs off in no-time. If… he could reach it, that was.

With some effort, he pushed himself off with his feet, trying to make a bridge without his arms to get his hips close enough that he could reach it with his fingers. The only sound in the Upside Down seemed to be his grunts, cries and frustrated cursing for some time. Until—

“Oh thank— Eddie— let me help you with that.”

Eddie whipped his head around so fast that he in fact hit it right against the pole, and a million more curse words left his lips. Steve, Steve Harrington, crouched down next to him, key in hand.

“Sorry about all this, it’s just that last time you uh— never mind. I’m so… I’m glad you’re okay,” Steve said softly, without looking at him at all. He released the handcuffs and Eddie took his sweet time rubbing his wrists and stretching his limbs as soon as he was able to get up.

“I’m not following,” Eddie said honestly. “One moment I was— I was with you, and the others, and then I was fighting bats— but—”

He quickly reached for his sides now, lifting up his shirt.

“Nothing,” he whispered to himself. Steve nodded, his gaze lingering on Eddie’s hips.

“And now you are here, and I don’t remember fucking anything, everything is like, jumbled up in my mind. Nothing makes fucking sense, I don’t know what’s— what’s real and what’s not. I thought I was dead, man. No, I was dead. I know I was, I just… Fuck!”

“Eds— Eddie,” Steve said calmly, his hand reaching for his waist before he put it on his shoulder instead. “I’ll explain everything once we get out of here, okay? The others don’t know anything about this. I couldn’t tell them because Dustin, he…” Steve’s voice wavered and he shook his head. “Let’s go home, alright?”

Eddie nodded numbly, still confused about it all. Unsure why Steve Harrington was saving the day right now. How he was alive, how he had died yet never fought the bats, everything was just… a mess.

“The others? Are they okay?”

Steve nodded slowly.

“They will be.”

Eddie had no idea what that meant, but judging from the tired look on Steve’s face, it was best not to ask right now. They walked back to Eddie’s trailer together in silence, with Steve stealing glances at him every five seconds or so. Eddie didn’t really get it, but he wasn’t going to complain. He even stole a few glances back.

It was night in the Downside Up, which is what Eddie decided to call their ‘real world’ now. Steve took him to his place, handed him some Mountain Dew that he apparently kept in the fridge and sat him down on the couch.

“So…” Eddie started, hesitant. Steve had been fiddling with the pull tab of his can of coke. When Steve didn’t look up, Eddie cleared his throat.

“Uhm, right,” Steve said, avoiding Eddie’s intense gaze. “So… the thing is…”

Eddie waited, impatiently, and when Steve shut down again he groaned.

“Come on, Harrington! Spit it out already.”

Steve winced, the corners of his mouth dropped a little and Eddie’s gaze softened.

“Sorry, I just… not knowing what’s going on is kinda scary, man.”

“It’s so weird when you call me Harrington, now,” Steve said softly, a sad smile on his face. “Not that you can help it, you haven’t been… anyway. So, as I was saying,” Steve started again, now finally looking up at Eddie, “you’re right. You were dead. Or at least, at some point, there was a you that was.”

“You’re breaking my brain here.”

“The bats, Dustin being with you, all that happened. But then I went back in time. And it happened again. So I went back in time again and I tried to change things, over and over. But you died every time. And if it wasn’t you, it was Dustin who died. Or Robin, or Nancy. I’ve been— for five years, I’ve been doing this… thing. And I finally cracked it, I think. I mean, everyone’s safely at home, Max is still in the hospital but she did recover from it all previously too so I… she should- she has to be okay this time too. And you’re… here. So.”

Eddie stared at him blankly as Steve tried to blink away tears and duck his head to wipe them away. He was trembling now, the pull tab had been torn off long ago and was now swimming inside the can.

“You, went back in time, for me? How does that even work? What- Why? Why you? Me?”

“Because… I had to.”

“We barely know each other.”

Steve let out a humorless laugh.

“Yeah. Well. That’s a complicated statement.”

“What do you mean?”

Steve shook his head and got up from the couch to throw his coke away and grab a glass of water instead. Another beverage he wasn’t drinking from.

“I can’t, I can’t say it.”

Eddie got up as well.

“Steve. You’re holding back. What is it?”

He stood right in front of Steve now. Steve Harrington, the golden boy from Hawkins, now stood miserable, disheveled, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Eds I can’t,” he spoke in a whisper, “I’m scared that it’ll mess things up.”

“You said five years… what happened in those five years? Did you just, go back and forth, relive the same day? Over and over?”

Steve shook his head.

“There were times where, for some reason, I couldn’t go back. Not right away. One time you… survived, and, Robin didn’t. And it didn’t let me go back. Eventually, I told you about it. I had never told anyone about it, but I told you. And you tried to help me even though it might mean that you wouldn’t make it and eventually one day, suddenly I was back again, and I have no idea what triggered it, but then, you did die and I couldn’t accept it, because…”

“Because what, Steve?”

Eddie hesitantly took the glass of water from him so he could take his hands in his own and rub soothing circles over the backs of Steve’s hands. When he did, short fragments of Steve flashed in front of his eyes. Not any that he had known… not really, anyway. Waking up next to Steve, talking late into the night, kissing Steve, looking down as Steve got on his knees—

“Steve. Did we— Are we…?”

Steve looked up, shocked, his lashes darker than usual with the weight of his tears hanging on them. He waited for Eddie to continue, a sliver of hope painting those hazel eyes just a little brighter.

“I’m… when I grabbed your hands I, uh, saw things. You, mostly. But I would know if I’d ever gotten a bl— if we were ever, uhm, a thing. ‘S not exactly easy to forget, so…”

“I guess it’s like the uhm, the memories of the demobats,” Steve provided softly.

“Out of those five years…?”

“We were dating for three,” Steve confessed.

“Three?! Fuck.”

“Yeah. And then I went back again. Out of nowhere.”

“That must’ve… sucked,” Eddie provided unhelpfully. Steve nodded weakly.

“You could say that.”

“Is that why you reacted so weird at my speech about Nancy and kept staring at my lips?” Eddie asked bluntly, gaining a surprised chuckle out of Steve.

“That moment was always the most difficult. You just, you got so close, and even though you were rambling nonsense I loved hearing your voice and I just… honestly I don’t even have a clue what you really said,” Steve admitted, a soft smile on his face.

“So what now?” Eddie asked, “I’m like, a bit lost at why I’m not freaking out more but I guess what’s one more freakshow after everything else that happened, right? And to hear that we… I mean, you should know that we should start from the very beginning. Those fragments are not enough. I need the full Harrington experience. Which— You don’t like it when I call you Harrington, do you, Stevie?” Eddie asked with a teasing smile.

Steve’s cheeks turned a little pink as he shook his head.

“I don’t mind it, it just feels weird every time. You barely called me that, when we uh, dated,” Steve explained. Eddie looked at him and released his hands in favor of wrapping Steve into a warm hug.

“Suddenly felt like you needed that,” Eddie mumbled into his hair as Steve wrapped his arms tightly around him. “And I guess… so do I.”

“I missed you,” Steve whispered, “so much.”

Eddie’s heart hurt for him. He could only imagine how hard these past five years had been for him and he couldn’t believe his luck that he had someone like Steve to care for him. It all felt too surreal to take in at such a short amount of time, yet it felt like the most natural thing in the world. Like they, Steve and Eddie, just made sense.

“We’ll take it one day at a time, alright? I’m not going anywhere this time. I promise.”

“Even if you do, I’ll come find you again. No matter how many times it takes.”

“Good. One request though.”

“Hmm?” Steve asked, as he gently rubbed his nose against Eddie’s neck. He should probably resist, but after all this time it was just too easy to fall back into old habits.

“If next time happens, please don’t cuff me like that, my back got twisted all the wrong ways and—”

“Thought you liked that.”

“W-What?”

Steve smiled against his neck.

“Sorry, never mind. Too soon.”

Eddie shook his head, leaning back so that Steve would have to look at him.

“No, not too soon. Tell me now,” Eddie demanded.

Steve shook his head.

“Later, maybe. Right now, I want…”

This was it. The moment of teenage Eddie’s (and honestly today Eddie’s) dreams. Steve, beautiful Steve, closed his eyes way before he found Eddie’s lips, like he had done it time and time again.

He had. And he would.

Time and time again.

[aleniaaa]

"I thought about this before" bsf!Rafe x kook!reader part two

here's part one

a/n: hey guys I decided to do a part two of my last story lmk if you like it

warnings: curse words

words count: 842

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊ ＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

My phone rang unexpectedly. I picked it up and saw that it was Sarah. It had been two days since the party, and I hadn’t heard from any of the Camerons.

"Hey Sarah, what’s up?" I answered.

"Hey girl, I’m sorry to call you, but I wanted to ask if you’ve seen Rafe lately. I can’t seem to find him anywhere. Maybe he’s at yours?"

I was shocked by what I heard. Did Rafe run away? "No, sorry, he hasn’t contacted me in the last two days. I’ll try to find him," I said.

"Thank you, y/n. It means so much to me. You know, with Ward gone, he’s unpredictable," she replied, her worry clear in her voice. I knew their relationship wasn’t perfect—they had always had a troublesome dynamic.

"No problem. I’ll keep you posted," I reassured her, ending the call. Immediately, I tried calling Rafe.

"Hi, you’ve reached Rafe Cameron. I can’t talk right now. Leave a message," his voicemail greeted me, followed by a loud beep. Frustrated, I decided to drive to Barry’s place—maybe he’d know where Rafe was.

Twenty minutes later, I parked my 2022 Porsche 718 outside Barry’s trailer. Stepping out, I closed the door and walked up to knock. After a minute, the door creaked open.

"Oh shit, look who the fuck showed up at my humble doorstep. What’s good, y/n?" Barry greeted me, his eyes scanning me up and down.

"Hey, is Rafe here?" I asked directly, not in the mood for his games.

"Hell yeah. Yo, Country Club! Look who’s here!" he shouted, and Rafe appeared almost instantly, stepping outside and closing the door behind him.

"Y/n, what’re you doing here?" he asked, looking surprised to see me.

"What I’m doing here?! What the hell are you doing here? Your sister called me—she said she can’t get a hold of you. Why are you ignoring her and me?" His attitude pissed me off, and I found myself yelling at him.

Rafe raised his hands in surrender, trying to calm me down. "Listen, I needed to get away from everything. I’m sorry I didn’t pick up. When I woke up after the party, I didn’t remember anything and decided I needed to get clean for a while. Tannyhill was stressing me out too much."

"And you thought a dealer’s place was the best place to crash? Jesus, Rafe, you could’ve let me know." I rubbed my forehead, trying to think. He stood there, looking at me apologetically.

"So wait, you don’t remember anything? Like during the party or… anything at all?" I asked cautiously, trying to figure out if he remembered our kiss.

"I mean, I remember being mad and throwing a party, and then I fucking blacked out. That’s all," he admitted. I didn’t know how to feel. Should I be relieved? I knew he was drunk when he kissed me, but a part of me wished he would do it again. The pit in my stomach grew heavier.

"Alright, well, I’m glad you’re okay. Don’t scare me like that again. I’ll let Sarah know," I said and turned to head back to my car.

"Wait, y/n! Can you drop me off at home? I don’t have my car here," he called out.

"Sure, get in," I replied, unlocking the door. A short while later, we were driving to Tannyhill in silence.

Rafe broke it first. "Why were you asking if I remember anything? Did something happen?" he asked, looking at me with curiosity.

I froze, my grip tightening on the steering wheel. "I mean, nothing of much significance. I just got you to bed and made sure everyone left shortly after that," I lied, keeping my eyes on the road.

"Oh shit, really? Hahaha, I wouldn’t know," he chuckled, clearly not remembering a thing. I prayed he wouldn’t ask me more questions.

I dropped him off, and the rest of my drive home was spent in blissful silence. Only my thoughts interrupted it.

Why was I thinking about him differently now? It was just a meaningless, drunken kiss. He’s just my friend. That’s all. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t shake the feeling. How much longer could I keep lying to myself?

a/n: should I make a mood board for this🤭

[espace--positif]

A Dragon Age Newbie's First Impressions of Inquisition Companions [Part 1/?]

SO. I've acquired ye olde Dragon Age brainrot after completing Veilguard and starting Inquisition. I have a lot of Thoughts and Ideas TM about both games, so while I decide whether I should make a separate blog for DA, enjoy this messy post on my first impressions of all the Inquisition companions. I also wanna be able to look back at this and see whether my judgments were right or wrong lmao. Yes this is what I'm doing instead of writing fics.

Spoilers for... I don't know where I'm at in Inquisition man. I just got to Skyhold and did a few missions. And MAJOR DAV spoilers, probably. Under the cut.

Cassandra

CASSANDRA PENTAGHAST THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE.

she honestly grew on me a lot. I knew I wanted to like her from like, the opening scene. she just exudes intensity, and you can immediately tell that she cares. she, however did not like my Lavellan one bit, and disapproved of every single choice I made for a while 😭

early game Cassandra whenever Lavellan breathed:

but she honestly feels like the realest, and maybe most good-hearted character in all of DAI. conflicted, caring, under far too much pressure, and with a cold exterior that isn't just there for the sake of being unapproachable. she second-guesses all of her choices, which I believe is HEALTHY for someone who has that much power.

as I progress through the game and get to know her more, I just end up liking her even more. she also knows how to disagree with you, on small and large things, while keeping an open mind and trying to understand your reasoning - that also encourages me to hear her out. I truly enjoy that about her! her VA is also STELLAR, I just love to hear her talk!!

overall, 10/10 no notes.

Solas

oh you motherfucker.

so DAV Varric (or whoever it was who said this) lied when he said this rat egg man doesn't lie to your face and only lies by omission.

"I know about the fade because of my studies in ancient ruins" "I know about spirits because I befriended them in my dreams"

what if I punched you in the throat? ok but in all honesty. I'm trying to do the Solavellan ting and, well, he's got game. I'll give him that. I was positively shook at the first fade dream thing. they teach you how to rizz up dalish women in those ancient elven ruins? 🤨

speaking of dalish. why is he so mad that Lavellan is dalish LMAO. my ass chose the "proudly dalish" option and he DISAPPROVED. it's not Lavellan's fault that that one dalish clan threw rocks at you when you told them you were fen'harel! damn...

overall? I need to see how badly he betrays her to make a better judgment. will it be worse than the DAV betrayal? probably. will I eat it up? absolutely.

Varric

VARRIC MY GOAT!! THE REALEST MF IN ALL OF THEDAS!!!

I love Varric so much. it obviously helped to play DAV before, so I kinda knew him... for like, 20 minutes, I guess...

anyway, I'm really looking forward to getting to know him some more. as always, he's the only mf who cares how your character is feeling, who bothers to check in on you because everyone just tells you to roll with all the Crazy Shit TM that's happening. everyone keeps asking WHO is the herald of andraste, WHERE is the herald of andraste. no one ever asks HOW is the herald of andraste. except Varric.

he's caring, hilarious, compassionate, but also extremely REAL. cause yeah, Varric, you SHOULD'VE run the other way the moment Cassandra set you free. this breach shit is crazy! but you're literally too good of a man to do that 😭

I also cannot stop laughing at his reaction to Cory being alive. "shit, we stabbed him a bunch, I can't believe he's alive"

Varric continue to be your best real self, I am your biggest cheerleader as you are mine ❤️

Blackwall

ok so Blackwall is great. just a chill dude. super chill actually! however. he's kind of not very helpful at all, is he? "why did the wardens disappear?" "idk. can i join your inquisition?"

you're in luck, we actually take anyone because we're desperate!

but what can he actually do. him being a warden doesn't seem to help very much, because he literally never displays any warden expertise. when Stroud (?) mentions how all the wardens hear the calling now because of mr. Cory, he goes "oh shit yeah me too". and you just forgot to mention it? world's chillest warden, I guess.

I like him! but I just don't know why he's there especially when Iron Bull absolutely clears him when it comes to warrior combat.

anyway thank you Blackwall, very cool!

---

This post has been long enough, so I will make a Part 2 at some point thanks bye!!

[lunarharp]

uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier

[xxplastic-cubexx]

you say they can’t put telepaths in marvel rivals, yet we have some very credible leaks that jean grey and emma frost are gonna be in the game soon.

that being said, jean has telekinesis (and the phoenix force) and emma has her diamond form. telepathy is all charles has, lmfao. odds are pretty low for him, but maybe not zero if they give him telekinesis!

if yall have me say he got psionic blasts one more time i am going to scream HE HAS MORE THAN TELEPATHY . LIMITED BUT HE HAS IT <- he has gone against sentinels and disabled armies with it before HE CAN FIGHT I PROMISEEE

and technically they did give him telekinesis in krakoa (and very weak telekinesis sometimes before krakoa) so .... not my fave move but he does have that ...... and ig they give him a gun sometimes ........ last resort type shit but he has options ..

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D