#and yeah it is a little bit melting from the humidity lol

[fernisfat]

this post is brought to you by the salt lamp in my bathroom 🕯️

see more of me | spoil me | feed me

[palbabor-writes]

Hellooo queen I hope you had/will have a great day. This is actually my first time requesting something so I’m very sorry if I do something wrong 🥺🥺... can you maybe write some fluff (OR NSFW I DONT MIND... just love him way too much damn) stuff for dabi?? I don't know if you only take requests with exact instructions or if this request is enough... if you need something more precise i will try to come up with something! Thank you very much!!

Hello, love! You did it perfectly & thank you so much for asking! I can be a bit of a lurker on things, so I totally get how much courage it takes to do one of these.

You did amazing & I love, love this question. I love it so much that I went ahead and took an old outline of mine & made it into a full blown fic for you!

Now, in honor of all the craziness swirling around our favorite flame user, Imma post it a little earlier then I’d planned! So, thank you for the ask & I hope to talk to you again ( ＾◡＾)っ ♡

Pairing: Dabi x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 7496

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW 18+ only, mentions of blood and gore, heat play, dick piercings, adult language and freaking Dabi. That alone should warn you.

Thermós θερμός   ther·​mos adjective m (feminine θερμή, neuter θερμόν); warm, hot, boiling, glowing

It’s sweltering; the fervor of summer sticky, humid, and oppressive. Japan is in the throes of August, and this heatwave is not letting up. Even at night, it’s impossible for Dabi to get comfortable. He’s been lying, half naked, draped across his narrow twin mattress for the last few hours, sweating. 

His quirk isn’t helping matters.

He’s been trying to recruit new members. Every day, he sets out, pounding the pavement, sifting through the bits and pieces of trash that he runs into. It’s a pity. If those scrubs weren’t so fucking pathetic, he might not be in this predicament. But they are, and now he’s having to suffer the consequences of his temper. 

His phone gleams on his dilapidated side table, a text message chiming across the screen as it flashes a speck of brightness into the darkened room. Groaning, he leans over and snatches it up, his hands slick as he clutches the encased plastic. 

It’s Toga. 

As a rule, he tries to avoid her. He hates her chatter. It’s always some unending nonsense about those UA kids, about Stain, or about fucking blood. It’s always blood with her. Give her five minutes, and she’ll work it into her conversation somehow, even if it’s just blurting it out, a blush staining her cheeks. 

Fucking freak.

[ Blondie: 12:34 am ]

- found smth 4 u. (Y/N) has a place. Keeps it @ like 60 degrees… lol

Well, disgusting as Toga is, she has her uses; he thinks as he reads her text. 

He’d asked her, a few days before, if she knew a place where he could crash. Somewhere that had some goddamn air conditioning. The hideout’s unit is on the fritz again, not that it had ever worked all that well. 

Hmm, well this is something, at least. 

Dabi’s isn’t sure what to think about Toga’s little ‘find’. You were a newer recruit, someone that Compress had brought in. 

He hadn’t paid much attention to you. You didn’t stay at the base and were only around if there was a specific mission, or a task, that Shigaraki set for you. He isn’t even sure what your quirk is. You seemed easy-going, neutral, but he doubted you’d extend that easy-going demeanor to him camping out at your place for the A/C. 

Chucking his phone back on the side table, Dabi flops to his side and tries to drift off, hoping his exhaustion will let him ignore the suffocating heat he’s drowning in.

 Fuck. 

He’d done it again. It was hard to resist the urge when these people spouted such vague fucking bullshit at him. No one, not fucking one of them, could live up to his cause. And if they couldn’t meet that standard? Well, they were better off as ash, melting into blackened pools as the asphalt greedily soaked their blood into its cracked depths. 

There is a heat advisory today. 

He’d heard the news as he scarfed down a quick breakfast at the hideout’s bar. He wouldn’t be out for that long, he reasoned. Besides, maybe today he’d find someone good. 

Wishful thinking on his part. 

His skin feels oppressive and his staples and piercings are scalding, the metal hissing and steaming as he tries to dampen his quirk. It’s harder to regulate his temperature on hot days. He shouldn’t be out here, he thinks, snarling as he pats out a few rogue flames that catch on his dark jacket. Even lifting his arm to perform that simple task makes him grunt, hissing out a mantra of curses.

Shit, fuck, goddamn it fucking all. 

He looks bitterly up at the sun and debates his next move. 

He could retreat to the bar, but that doesn’t solve his problem. No, the viscous heat that radiated along those upper floors would just make his skin feel worse. Hell, it might even result in more mottling, his burns stretching farther along his arms and chest. He’s not going back to the bar.

Where the fuck even is he?

He peers down the alley toward the street. It’s not too busy; just after noon, so most of the foot traffic from the morning has died down. He yanks his hood up, ignoring the ache of his legs as he stalks toward the street corner. 

Carefully, he pokes out, his eyes tracing over the crosswalk, looking for the street signs. Ah. He’s close to that address, your address, that Toga sent him. 

Slipping his hands into his pockets, he saunters along the pavement, careful to keep his head down. 

You were out of town. 

He’d picked up that tidbit from Compress this morning. The masked man had been lamenting that you might be away for a few days, possibly weeks. Something about being on a fact finding task for that shadowy voice that talked with Shigaraki from his tv. 

He didn’t care, still doesn’t. All he knows is that you supposedly keep your place cold, and that’s all the encouragement he needs.

You’ve got a nice apartment. 

It’s decorated in pleasing whites, yellows, reds and greens, with clean lines and modern touches. It’s kinda like you, he considers as he shrugs his coat off and breathes in that amazing waft of cold A/C. You’ve been useful to have in the League; efficient and no nonsense about the missions you're given and you can fit in with the outside world. You’d give even Toga a run for her money when it comes to espionage, he’s heard others say about you. 

Dabi tosses a distasteful glare at your narrow couch and pads toward your bedroom, shouldering the door open and stepping into the dark sanctuary.

Your bed looks nice. It’s a good size too. 

Lifting his boots from his feet and stripping down to his boxers, he presses into your clean sheets; shivering as the chilly air hits his overheated skin, cooling and dampening that oppressive sense of heat. He’s out in seconds, his body relaxing, slackening as he falls into the void of his dreams.

Yeah, now that he’s had this, there’s no way he’s staying at that hideout of the League’s unless he has to. 

You’re gone for the better part of a week. 

He’s started asking Compress about you. At first, the older man had given him an impassive stare. Since when did Dabi even know your name? 

He’s asking because he needs to talk with you about… uh… supplies? 

This, apparently, is the correct thing to say, because Compress nods his head sagely and elaborates on your timetable. You’re collecting things for Kurogiri and you’ll be gone for another few days. 

Good, Dabi thinks, slinking into your apartment again, lowering the window behind him. He’s careful to leave things as he found them, his entryway into your place included. You don’t need to know about this.

What the fuck would he even say to you? 

Hey, uh, it’s fucking hot at the hideout, and since you’ve got a working A/C unit and like 3 fans, he’s been sleeping over at yours. No big deal, right?

Even after you return, he keeps sneaking in. 

He’s gotten your schedule memorized, and he’s heedful of the hours you keep. You’re a little more regular than the others in the League. You actually sleep at night; unlike the rest. The others are often out at God knows what hour, combing for recruits and leads, but not you.

So, Dabi shifts into full night owl mode. He crashes at your place in the midmorning, after you leave for the day, trying to ignore the perfume that comes from your sheets. 

You’ve got a nice smell. 

It’s oddly comforting, and he hates when he accidentally burrows into your pillows; nostrils flared, inhaling that aroma that’s all you. While he’s never talked with you before this, he goes out of his way to ignore you now. 

What he’s doing is fucking weird, and lines are blurring. The other week he’d bumped into you coming out of the bar and he’d almost snatched you to him. 

You must have just showered, because that fucking scent was radiating off your skin. It’s nothing too, eh, feminine? No, it’s more like… oranges and sandalwood. It’s a heady blend of rich balsamic and citrus, and he can’t get it out of his head.

August has faded into September, and he’s still sleeping over at yours. 

He can’t help it. It’s not his fault your bed is so downy and, fuck, cool. It’s like the sheets don’t absorb his warmth. No, they’re always cold and they feel so fucking good against his staples and burned skin. 

It’s midmorning, closer to noon, and he’s dozing, his eyes heavy and drooping. He’s exhausted, so bone tired, that he doesn’t hear your door opening. No, he doesn’t even notice you until he hears your voice.

“Um, would you like to tell me why you’re in my bed?”

He’s on his feet in a flash, a slow flicking of blue flames tracing along his fingers. You’re framed in your doorway, eyes wide, stepping away from his aggressive stance. 

“Woah, woah,” you begin, lifting your hands in supplication. “Let’s just… take a minute and talk. I’m not-”

“You’re not supposed to be here,” he snaps, his cerulean eyes narrowing, but he dampens his fire, a long curling of smoke framing his face. 

“Uh, I think you got that backward there, bud. You’re not supposed to be here, I live here,” you scoff, one hand propping on your hip, head tilted exaggeratedly. 

Dabi is about to spit something else out when you stride into your bedroom, tugging your jacket off and sauntering over to a tall dresser. He snaps his mouth closed and watches you. He’s not sure how he’s going to talk his way out of this, and he’s grateful for the reprieve. But, he knows an onslaught of anger or, fuck, preserve him, a lecture is incoming. Worst case, he thinks, observing you from his peripheral as you tug out a long shirt and some shorts, you’ll just kick him out and that will be that. 

You glance at him again, your eyes lingering over his exposed chest and legs, and he can’t help the scowl that breaks over his face. He’s not embarrassed, he’s just, well, he’s not sure how to classify that stare. Most people recoil or toss him a glance of pity, their brows wrinkled with worry and distaste. But you? You arched an eyebrow and smiled.

Fucking weirdo. 

Pausing in your doorway, you bite your lip into your mouth and carefully speak your next statement, voice smooth. “Look, while I’d rather you, oh, I don’t know, asked me about staying here. I’m not in the mood to argue with you, and I’ve got a long journey ahead of me tonight.” You take a deep inhale and toss him another smile. 

“Just… just lay back down and get some rest. I promise I won’t molest you,” you tease, and he snaps his head up at that, his chin jutting in agitation. 

You laugh at his sour face and he feels wrong-footed; lost. What the fuck? Who says shit like that? Who is in their right mind is just, oh, no worries man, promise I won’t grab your dick?

What’s wrong with you?

“I’m going to change and then I’m going to go to sleep. You can go, or you can stay, I really don’t care. All I know is that I’m not going to sleep on the couch when I’m in my apartment.” You retort, that grin still lifting your lips as you step away, the wall shielding you from his view. 

Dabi remains where he is; standing in your bedroom, clad in his boxers, his hands clenched into fists by his side. Somehow this is worse than you throwing him out.

You return a few minutes later and he can’t get a good look at you. You slink past him and are under your covers in an instant. Not that he’s trying to give you a once over, he snarls to himself, shaking his inky head. 

You nestle into the comforter and turn to your side, leaving him plenty of room on the opposite end of the bed. He blinks at you, a deep welling of uncertainty nestling in his stomach. 

You’re quiet for a long moment, your eyes closing and shoulders relaxing, acting like there’s not a wanted, deadly villain in your bedroom, paces from your side. Then, you twist, giving him a quick scan, your eyes lingering over his. 

“Either lay down or get out, Dabi. I’m not going to be able to sleep with you glaring at me like that. You look like some kinda ghost.”

Your declaration provokes a huffing, agitated reaction out of him. If there’s one thing Dabi hates, it’s being told what to do. 

He slings himself beside you, splaying out, his body laying on top of the sheets. You chuckle, your head peeking at him over your shoulder. He ignores you and tries to close his eyes. 

It feels strange, resting next to you like this. It’s… intimate, and he’s not sure if he hates or likes the sensation. He chances a glance at you, but you’ve already turned back to your side, your shoulders rising and lowering rhythmically. He shakes his head at your blasé reaction. How can you just, fuck, sleep? 

He can’t get comfortable and his skin feels heavy again. It’s not heat this time. No, now something else is making everything feel too close, too warm. 

He dampens his thoughts, mind frantically focusing on anything but you. As the sun slips behind the buildings across the street, his eyes lower and he fitfully sleeps, your rich smell filling his senses.

He’d left you in the night; tucking his clothes back on and easing out of your window. 

True to your word, you’d relegated yourself to your side of the bed, hardly tossing or turning as you slept. As he paced back to the hideout, he wasn’t sure what he’d gotten himself into. He just hoped you’d keep your mouth shut. He didn’t want the others knowing about this, it felt, well it’s not like him. Abrasive- fucking spewing anger and vitriol? Yeah, that was him. But this? This was too soft, too gentle. He hated it.

But that’s the problem with hate. It’s terribly close to that other emotion. They’re sisters, really. Usually love and hate exist on two sides, but they’re still the same coin, no matter how you toss them. 

You don’t act any differently after that night.

You keep coming to the hideout, giving him a vague smile and greeting before continuing your day. He’s acting differently, though. He can’t help but watch you, suddenly fascinated with how you move. He tries his best to shake himself from his musings, but sometimes he can’t help it. 

If anything, he grumbles to himself, watching you chatter with Toga, you’re subtly going out of your way to place yourself in front of him. You were never around this much before. Well, maybe you were. He didn’t pay you any mind back then, but now? Now he can’t get enough of you. 

He reacts when you laugh, or talk, his head turning, like a sunflower, toward the light you give off. Ugh. His only hopeful reprieve from this, from you, is the changing seasons. The days are getting shorter and that heatwave is finally, finally breaking. 

It’s his one comfort, his saving grace.

Yeah, he should have fucking never tossed that wish into the universe.

No, another heatwave passes over the island and it’s the worst one yet. The daily temperatures have been hitting the low 100s and the nights aren’t much better. To make matters worse, the A/C at the hideout has given up the ghost and won’t turn on at all now. 

Still, Dabi’s prepared. He’d bought a secondhand electric fan a few weeks ago, and he’s grateful for the tiny slice of paradise that it grants him. It’s not as nice as your apartment, or your bed, but it will do.

He’s laying across his mattress, sweat trickling down his back and shoulders, trying to ignore that ache in his burned skin. The fan is blowing across him and he’s about to crank it up a notch when it gives out an ominous sputter. 

Dabi sits up, his eyes flashing. No, no, no, no. There’s no fucking way.

The fan’s blades are slowing, that sweet, cool air dampening, drifting into the low-lying humidity that surrounds him. He yanks the plug from the wall, his staples stinging as he stands. He stomps over to the outlet and plugs the fan back in, turning on his haunches to see if the blades will start that familiar whirl. 

There’s fuck all happening. 

Cursing, he kicks the shitty thing over and grabs his jacket, storming down the stairs and into the night.

You’re sleeping when he slinks under your window sill, sliding the glass shut and kicking his heavy boots to the floor. It’s that sound that wakes you, and you lift yourself up, your sheets falling from your chest, revealing a bare shoulder and low cut shirt to him. Unabashed by your appearance, you wipe a palm over your eyes, rubbing the sleep away and croaking out a greeting. 

“When I said you could sleep over here, I didn’t mean you could barge in at all hours. And through my window? So, that’s why the hinge looks like that.” 

Dabi considers you for a moment, his blue eyes gleaming in the moonlight. You tilt your head at him and suck your teeth. 

“A, oh, I don’t know, sorry, would be nice?” you scold, that alluring smile lifting your lips. He follows the line of your mouth, his thoughts hazing over, focusing on some other, darker, daydream.

“Hello?” you call, waving your hand beside your face. “Earth to Dabi. What do you want?”

That question slips him out of his stupor and he lifts his eyes back to yours. “The A/C is out. Bought a fan a few weeks ago, but the fucking thing broke and I can’t… it’s hard to regulate my body temperature in this fucking heat. You keep this place like an icebox, so I started crashing here. Wasn’t planning on coming back, but after tonight-”

“Ok, ok,” you laugh, already scooting over and flinging the covers back. “Seeing as you didn’t try any funny business last time, I guess I’ll let it slide. Just, not to be rude, but shut up and let me sleep. I’ve gotta long day tomorrow and as enthralling as this conversation is…”

“Whatever,” Dabi mutters, slinging his damp shirt over his head and pacing over to the side of your bed. You blink up at him and shake your head, that tiny grin lingering. He presses into your familiar sheets, eyes already slipping closed as the fragrance of you pulls at him.

It’s early when he wakes, shuddering out of a nightmare, red flames and crying voices fading into the back of his mind. 

Wincing, he raises a hand to his eyes and pulls at his face, relieved that it’s still cool air that meets him. As he rolls to his side, he feels something trace over his unscarred chest. The sensation makes him freeze, his eyes snapping open again, the cerulean searching, whisking over the dim figure beside him. 

You’re still sleeping, but you’ve shifted, your body curled, facing him, and one of your hands is reaching toward him. Shit, he thinks, heart pounding in his ears. You’re so close. 

He’s never been this close to you. 

Your mouth is parted, delicate lips plush and soft in the early morning gloom. He tries to shift away, but your brow creases when he does, so he stills his movements, gritting his teeth and trying to ignore that flush that is building across his nose.

This is stupid. It’s just you. It’s not like the two of you have even done anything. Fuck, you barely talk with one another. 

He burrows his head into his pillow and the shift of his body urges you closer to him, your hand opening and pressing to his skin. A sigh slips from your mouth as your fingers splay out, tapping against his warmth, and he nearly startles off the bed.

He looks down at your hand, aghast. He wants to move it off of him; can’t stand that you’re touching him, he tells himself, that you’re this close to him. But he can’t bring himself to move. Your hand is so delicate, so…

Unconscious, you turn from him, your fingers lifting on their own, curling back to you. Dabi almost moans as you slip from him, clamping down on the sudden, primal desire that races through him. He wants to grab you; to drag you back to him. 

The hell? What the fuck is wrong with him?

Sucking his teeth, he turns over, facing away from the confusing neediness that’s lapping at his subconscious. He fluffs his pillow aggressively, trying to drown out all the raw emotions that are racing through his mind.

Forget it. Sleep.

 When he wakes again, you’re gone. 

The sheets where you slept are cold under his fingertips and he sits up, his arms resting on his knees. This whole situation is so fucking weird.

He lets himself ease into consciousness before standing and stretching out the leftover kinks in his muscles; stooping to grab his discarded shirt, pulling the fabric over his head and shaking his dark head against the sunlight. Just as he’s slipping his coat on, he notices the note that’s sitting on one of your bedroom chairs. It’s got his name on it, so he snatches it up, flipping open the folded paper. 

“There’s some leftover pizza in the fridge, I won’t have time to eat it. Help yourself. There’s also a spare key on the coffee table. Take it and stop jimmying my window open.” 

Scoffing, he crumples the paper up, tossing it over his shoulder as he paces into your kitchen.

It’s a fucking thing now. 

He’s rarely at the hideout. Why bother? You don’t seem to care if he sleeps over. Hell, you make space for him. There’s gotta be something else to it; there has to be. What kinda idiot is so fucking accommodating? You act like you’re a fucking hostel or something. Well, a hostel where there’s only one bed. 

You even bought another fan. You told him you don’t like to keep the overhead one on in the cooler weather, so he can use this one for his side of the bed.

Yeah, he’s got a goddamn side of the bed. It’s fucking insane.

The other members of the League either haven’t noticed what’s going on between the two of you, or they don’t care. It’s not like either of you talk about your sleeping habits. Fuck, you still never interact with him at the hideout, content to maintain that level of professionalism.

He’s not sure why it bothers him. 

One night, the temperature drops into the low 40s and he’s stretched out on your blankets, enjoying the first real cold snap of the fall, when he sees you shivering. It’s not very noticeable, what with the way you’re turned away and bundled, but it makes him tilt his head toward you, watching. 

Another pass of his fan has you repeating the quake and, without thinking, he pulls you closer, one long arm wrapping around your shoulder and tugging. Startled, you fight his hold, but he calms your movements with a squeeze, grumbling about your stoic reluctance. 

What’s the big deal? It’s not like you haven’t brushed up against him before. Calm down. 

You quiet after that and slowly, tentatively, you lean against his bare chest, your cheek cool against his heated skin. He tucks his chin over your head and tries to keep his breathing even. He doesn’t want you to hear, fuck, feel his heartbeat; it’s slamming its way out of his throat and he gulps when your fingers pull him closer. 

“How are you so warm?” you ask, your breath floating across his pectorals. 

“It’s my stupid quirk,” Dabi mutters, dipping his head down to his pillow, shifting you with him. You nod against his lean muscles and your fingertips trace cool designs into his skin, lingering over his burnt patches and staples. He sighs, unable to resist the low shiver that creeps up his spine. 

This is nice; too fucking nice.

He can’t do without your touch now.

Remember that thing about love and hate being sisters? Well, that hate is simmering into something else for Dabi. It’s not love, he doesn’t know you well enough, but it’s certainly not hate anymore.

He likes touching you. You’re smooth against his jagged skin and he enjoys the contrast. He’s slow when he pulls you against him, careful to not snag you against his staples, but you seem to like his heat. You’ve even started wearing less to bed, slipping out of that baggy shirt and into a thin tank top; he’s pleased that he has more of you to caress. 

It’s getting harder to keep you out of his head. He can smell your perfume, even if he hasn’t seen you for days, and each time he does see you, even at the hideout, his fingers itch to press against you. 

You’d laughed at his sudden, intense, interest. The hell Dabi, are you touch starved or something? You’d teased. What’s up with you? I was worried about you burning down my apartment, not you turning into some kind of cuddle fiend.

He doesn’t care what you say. He knows it’s fucking stupid, fucking dumb, that he’s this desperate. It just feels good. And there’s not much about him that feels good these days, so he’ll take what he can get. Fuck you very much.

There’s a meeting. It’s one of the ones where Shigaraki demands that everyone make their way to the bar. 

Boss man has been tense lately, thrumming with some dark energy, so the room is quiet as Kurogiri elaborates on the smaller details of the mission. Your part is minimal, limited to reconnaissance with Toga. It’s boring shit, and Dabi is only half listening to any of it.  

Besides, there’s something else that’s snagging his attention. 

Dabi is sitting on the couch, his eyes lingering on you. You’re wearing one of his favorite outfits and the color looks good on you. It brings out your eyes. You’re questioning Spinner and Toga about the finer points of your team up. He can’t hear you from here, but that doesn’t matter, he’s still in the best spot to spy you leaning forward, perfect ass on full display. 

“She’s gotten better, more adept at working undercover,” Compress’ voice shakes Dabi from his thoughts and he turns to him, a bland frown on his face.

“Who?”

“Please, you know who I’m talking about. You can’t stop looking at her.” 

He chortles, his laugh a sharp bark. “You’re fucking joking. Her? Fuck, no. I’m gonna head out, not like the boss has anything for me anyway,” Dabi stands, slipping his hands into his trench coat and pacing to the heavy door, shouldering his way into the night. 

He leans against the brick wall, lighting up a cigarette and sighing a thin line of smoke into the chilled air. Fuck, they’re noticing what’s going on. Wait. What is going on? It’s not like the two of you are fucking. Yet, a small voice echoes in the back of his mind, and he smirks at that thought. 

Yeah, maybe it’s time to speed things up.

You step out a few minutes later, your eyes searching for him. He flicks his cigarette onto the pavement and wraps his fingers in your coat, tugging you to him. You don’t fight him; don’t make a sound as he pins you against the brick, his body hot against your front. 

The two of you watch the other, his cerulean eyes roving over your face. Then he’s lifting your chin, his lips sliding across yours. It’s a strange kiss. Usually, he’s too busy trying to get off to focus on his partner. He rarely kisses anyone, even if he’s hooking up. But this kiss? 

Like everything else about you, it’s fucking nice. 

You move with him, your body surging from the brick, breasts flattening against his chest, fingers cupping behind his ears; nipping and sucking at him, your teeth digging into his burned lower lip and pulling. You’re encouraging him to touch you next, rubbing yourself on him until his hands fall to your hips. He’s already half hard, and that warm juncture of your thighs isn’t helping matters.

To his shock, he’s having trouble keeping up. 

You’re already pulling from him when he dips his tongue into your mouth. He gasps at the emptiness, that chilling vacancy that your touch leaves him panting into. Before he can bemoan your absence, you’re kissing at his neck, lifting on your tiptoes to reach the staples on the side of his face. You lick at him, your wet tongue dragging over his burns. He trembles under your hands and you smile, your laugh bright. 

Snarling, Dabi yanks your head back and you meet his hazy gaze, biting your lip; pantomiming a wonton innocence. Immediately, he’s pushing you into the brick, his hands cupping and lingering until you’re whining for him. That’s fucking better, he thinks, his teeth worrying against your pulse. 

Just when he’s got you where he wants you, your hand snakes between the two of you, pressing against the bulge of his dick. Dabi can’t help his sharp intake of air, and his head falls to your shoulder as he ruts into your palm. You keep kissing at the side of his face, your lips roving over his ear as you tug at his covered dick. You’re saying something, but he can’t focus when you’re doing that.

“Dabi,” you try again, teeth ensnaring his destroyed earlobe, sucking at the burnt skin. “They’re about to come out.” 

He knocks your hand away from his straining, throbbing length and leans away from you. Fuck, you look good. 

Your lips are swollen, and your eyes are dazzling. He can’t pull himself away. You smile at his dazed expression and lift a hand to his cheek, your palm cool against his overheated skin.

The door shudders open and the two of you spring apart. A few minutes later Toga is grabbing at your arm and pulling you down the street, away from him.

He’s waiting outside your apartment, another cigarette smoldering to ash under his lips. But he can’t bring himself to go in. 

Not without you. 

Toga’s kept you busy. It’s been over an hour since that kiss in the alleyway. He’s cooled off since then, but that simmering heat that you elicited from him? That hasn’t dimmed. He’s still half hard against his dark pants and he can’t bring himself to care. Besides, Dabi has a very specific idea about how he’s going to have you lessen that pressure for him. 

He’s just about to light another cigarette when he sees you. 

You walk into your building, and he starts the long climb up the fire escape. His heart is pounding again. He hasn’t wanted something this badly in ages. He’s been so fucking focused on his cause, on making his plans a reality; he just hasn’t had the time. 

But now? Fuck, he wants there to be more hours in the day. He’s hoping the two of you can pick up where you left off. Yeah, he tells himself, scaling the last few steps, it’s just about the sex. 

That sounds better than saying what he really wants. 

You’re already slipping your oversized sleep shirt over your head when he lifts your window. You pause, watching him curl his way into your space. Once he pulls his legs inside he turns to you, his eyes dark, unfathomable, the blue so deep that you feel you’re drowning in it. 

He doesn’t shut the window. Instead, he yanks his clothes off, clattering them against your floor. You smile and a gentle laugh makes its way to him. 

“What did I say about coming in through the window?” you chuckle, already lifting your arms for him. 

He’s against you in a single breath, his warmth seeping its way into your chilled skin. His lips are rough, pressing and lifting, biting and nipping. He’s working you toward your bed and once your knees hit the edge of your mattress, he’s shoving you down. 

You flop against the cold blankets, your legs already spreading for his hips. He’s hot, scaldingly hot, against your hands. Your fingers dip into his hair and you pull him back, earning a low growl and his flashing glare, displeasure written all over his face. 

“Slow down,” you scold, your legs wrapping around his hips, grinding against the hardness you find. 

“The fuck? You goddamn tease. Fucking saying that, then rubbing your wet pussy all over my dick,” Dabi snarls, snatching your wrists and pinning your hands beside your head.

“How do you know it’s wet?” you ask, batting your eyes at his steeled jaw. 

“It fucking better be,” he groans, his teeth sinking into your neck and pressing, hard. 

You gasp at the stimulation and arch for him, testing his hold on your wrists. Grunting, he licks a wet line to your pulse, his hands tightening over yours. “Mmm, why don’t you find out?” you ask, leaning into his lips, loving the contrast of his destroyed and perfect skin. 

He shifts his grip on you, yanking your arms up, pinning your hands above your head. He lifts one of his own hands away once he’s satisfied he’s got a good hold on you. His warm fingers trace down your side, pausing when he gets to the lacy band of your panties. Teasingly, he pulls fabric away from your skin, and lets it snap against your hip. Dabi tips his nose into the curve of your neck and shoulder, taking a deep drag against you. 

You buck your hips, squirming under his weight. “You get lost? My pussy is a little further down.” 

He chuckles darkly, his breath making you shiver. You’re just about to wriggle from him when one long finger eases past your panties and presses into your sopping heat. “Oh,” you gasp, your eyes rolling back. It feels like he’s heated his fingertip, and the skin that’s stroking and thrusting into you is warm, too warm. 

Dabi leans away from your neck, bracing himself above you with his knees, pulling himself into a hunched position. He’s smirking at your awed expression and his teeth glow in the darkness. 

“Like I said doll, you’re already so fucking wet for me. You want more?”

You nod and buck your hips, digging that finger deeper. He groans at your eagerness and you can feel him warming the next digit up, the tip burning against the soft flesh of your inner thighs. 

Once it’s in, he starts to v the two, dragging them along your rippling walls, spreading you open, easing you into his hand. Your slick is sliding down your legs and seeping into the sheets. Still, Dabi keeps on, maintaining that steady stretch. It starts to sting and you shift away, but he releases your wrists, free hand moves to your hip, stilling you. 

You glance up at him, curious. His eyes are hooded, the blue a velvety sapphire. He looks like he’s holding himself back from something. Almost like… like he’s handling you with more care than he’s ever given anything. It’s a strange thought, but the idea of it makes you reach for him, your fingers running down his discolored skin, lingering over the staples and piercings. 

“I’ve gotta stretch you out,” he informs you, his eyes closing behind his trembling eyelids, savoring your gentle caress. 

“Hmm, you that big?” you joke, fully expecting him to react, to silence you with a kiss or another well-timed thrust of his fingers. But he surprises you. He opens his eyes and fixes you with a rough stare, his digits continuing that aching pull. You’re throbbing around him, your arousal easing his passage, his extensions. 

“I don’t want to… hurt-” he stops, his eyes narrowing. With an inaudible sigh, he slides down your body, only halting once he’s face to face with your sleek cunt. His breath heaves against you and you wrap a leg over his back, holding him close. 

Dabi laves his tongue over you, latching onto your pulpy clit and giving it a soft suck. Your hands sink into his hair, curling into the spiky tendrils, urging him to give you more.  

He rewards your needy moans with another lick and he flicks his eyes up to yours, watching you over your shaking curves. 

“I’m going to add another finger,” he tells you, preparing you for another deep stretch. When he enters you almost pull from him, your hips bowing away at the pricking of pain. Sensing your distress, he keeps his lips around your pulsing clit, distracting you with kisses and low blows of air. 

Finally, you can feel yourself loosening. Your feet brace against your bed and you use the leverage to maneuver him deeper. You feel, you feel so…

Dabi, realizing that your cunt is quivering around his intruding digits, shifts closer, his piercings rubbing against your thighs. He’s sloppy now, less controlled. His tongue is circling your clit with furious laps and he lets a canine trace the bud. His fingers are still spreading and he’s found that spongy spot now. He taps against it, teasing you, making you clench and gasp around him. 

Just when you think you can’t take it anymore, when it seems like all the sensations are too, too, much; it snaps. The coiling in your core pulls free and you’re moaning, so loudly you’re worried your neighbors will hear. His name is falling from your lips at a rapid rate and you can feel his smirk as he lifts his fingers from your cunt. 

Dabi leans away and you shake at the loss of him. He was so warm, so hot against your damp skin and you miss it. He watches you, tucking his fingers into his mouth, lapping the final bits of your release from him. 

“Take off your clothes,” he demands when he’s finished, his hands already dropping to his tented boxers, slipping the elastic down his trim waist. 

You shift to obey, your hands yanking your shirt, bra and soaked panties off of you. You splay under him, indolently admiring the sight that is revealed to you. Oh, you think, unable to contain your small gasp, he is big. 

His cock is long, thick, and curved, and it’s dripping with pre-cum. There’s a crossed set of piercings at the tip of his length and you watch, mesmerized, as a shimmering strand of his arousal catches on the shiny silver, leeching down the smooth length of him. He’s bigger than anything you’ve ever taken, and that thought makes you shiver with anticipation, and a small sliver of worry.  

Dabi grins wildly at your flushed face. “Like what you see?” 

You nod, and he laughs, fingers snatching your legs, tugging you toward him. You spread for him, so eager and fucking turned on you can’t think straight. His hand lowers to his cock, and he strokes himself as he rechecks your silken cunt, gathering some of the gossamer strands of your arousal on his fingers as he ensures that you’re ready to take him. 

“I’m not going to go slow,” he warns you, his eyes lifting from your folds. 

Gulping and biting your lip, you nod, a shaking exhale escaping your lungs. He shifts himself nearer and begins to press. He’s right, you think, wincing at the sting of his intrusion. He’d stretched you out, licked you until you were leaking all over the bed, but it hurts. 

It takes him a moment to bottom out. Once he does, he groans and gasps above you. “Fuck (Y/N), you’re so damn tight.” 

You flop your head against your pillow and let out a long sigh. He’s holding still as you adjust, and, despite his warning, he’s being careful with you. It makes your chest squeeze. After a few more pained breaths, you can feel a low tingling radiating from your core. It’s like an itch. Experimentally, you cant your hips, your legs wrapping around his waist, cautious of the stapled skin across his lower back. 

Dabi mutters a soft curse and pulls back, his length sliding out of your drenched pussy. When he glides back in, you feel that same tingling sensation. Distantly, you realize it must be those piercings of his, but you’re too overwhelmed by the sensation to process it fully. 

“Hold on,” he groans, his hands bracing beside your head. You lace your arms around his bowed neck, and he starts to pounds into you. It’s a calculated motion, but- ah- he’s taking the extra second between his powerful pulls and thrusts to scrape his pelvis against your pulsating clit, stimulating you, ensuring that dim blaze pleasure within you keeps building. Whimpering, you arch your back, your ankles locking around him, encouraging him to keep going. You feel so good, so full, filled to the brim and practically begging him for more. 

Sloppily, his mismatched lips find yours and he nibbles and kisses at you. The sheer heat of him is making you both slick with sweat. You don’t mind the salty, dampened feeling, if anything, it eases his motions. 

You’re so wet now that he’s gliding easily into you; that piercing of his heating up, and the rapid fire thrusts he’s giving you create a smoldering inside you; like he’s catching you on fire from the inside out. 

His hips stutter and he lifts one hand from the bed, his thumb easily finding your clit. He presses a tight circle across you and you see spots. 

“Come on,” he groans, his voice hoarse, strained, “cum for me (Y/N). Fucking cum on my dick.” 

That desperation in his tone is all that it takes. 

Seconds later, you’re arching and shaking so much that he has to hold you still. He eases into you a final time, his frantic thrusts slowing, spacing out as he enjoys your rippling channel, and the fiery feeling of his own release almost hurtles you over the edge again. You curl against him, panting into his burnt ear, licking at the damaged skin.

Dabi leans heavily against you, one large hand pressing into your lower back, lifting you to him. Once he comes back to himself, he kisses at your shoulder, his warm breath making you shiver. He eases himself out of you and your legs clamp together, holding his cum inside you. It still feels so, so hot, and you’re not ready to let it drip out of you, not yet. 

He untangles himself from you and adjusts some of his staples, wincing against the sting of his marred and clean flesh. Realizing what he’s doing, you slip from the bed and pad into your bathroom. You clean yourself off and grab a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, dampening a clean cloth with the solution. 

“Here. It’s got some peroxide on it,” you tell him as you reenter the bedroom, tossing the rag his way. He catches it easily, dabbing it over himself, careful to not snag it on any of his loose skin. While he’s busy doing that, you snatch up his discarded white shirt and sling it over your head. He looks at you and scoffs. 

“What’s wrong with yours?” he asks, tossing the cloth onto the floor.

“Yours looked better,” you inform him, returning to his side and leaning close. He rolls his eyes at you and you shift into his open lap, straddling his hips. Grinning, you kiss at his neck again, sneaking a few groans from him. Sighing as you give him a particularly hard nip, he bats you off of him, tumbling you down to the sheets. 

“Give me a fucking minute,” he complains, shaking his head as you wrap around him, pulling him into your arms. Once he’s settled onto the bed you turn, pressing your back to his chest, relaxing into the familiar hold. He snorts, amused by your sudden change of mind. 

Dabi lowers his forehead to the back of your head, a small smile rising along his lips. Your breathing evens out and he listens to the sound, trying to memorize each little detail of you.

Yeah, this is it, he tells himself as he drifts off. The rest is just extra. Oh, it’s nice, to be sure, but this, this right here is what he really wants.

Notes: Soft, soft Dabi. I like him like this ꒰ ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱ ˖°  

Tags: @evesmores, @spicy-skull, @xwildskullx

[ppersonna]

flat tire - kth | m

↳ summary- how do you pass the time when you’re stuck on the side of the road with your boyfriend, with a flat tire?

↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

↳ pairing- kim taehyung x reader

↳ word count- 2.2k

↳ genre- smut, light fluff lol

↳ warnings- oral sex (m receiving), nipple play, dirty talk

↳ a/n-  a small little drabble that @taetaewonderland​ suggested i try my hand at!  i was originally gonna use yoongi but i thought tae would be a great fit ha ha no pun intended.  enjoy!! send in your requests! message, dm, comment, i love all forms of communication!

“Fuck,” Taehyung curses as the car bumps violently.  You clutch at the seat belt across your chest as your boyfriend navigates the car off the road and onto the side, allowing it to come to a stop with the awful thumping sound slowing with it.

“What happened?” You asked, slightly dazed. “Did we lose a tire?”

Tae chuckles despite his frustration.  “Honey, if we lost a tire, we would be way more fucked than we already are.”

Your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape as the brunette boy unbuckles and exits the car.  You hear him grumble as he walks around the perimeter, kneeling down in the back to check out the damage.

He returns momentarily and pulls his cell phone out of his pocket.

“Left rear tire is blown out,” he sighs as he scrolls through his phone. “I asked Jungkook to fix it a week ago.  Dumbass…”

You sniffle and rub at your arms. Without the heater in the car, the chill of the night is creeping up your skin.

Tae’s fingers tap away a message, pause, then continue for a moment.  He’s clearly involved in a conversation with someone, and you hope he gets help soon.

“Jimin and Jungkook are on their way with the spare,” he notes as he sets his phone down in his lap.  He finally peers over and looks at you attempting to warm yourself and smirks. “Are you cold?”

“A little, yeah,” you sigh as you look at the strapless dress on you that you chose for your date night out.

“Awww, poor baby,” he pouts playfully.  He’s making fun of you, you can tell, and you stick your tongue out at him.

You cross your arms tighter around your body and puff out a distressed breath of air.

“Don’t be mean. I wore it for you!”

Taehyung’s pout curls into a smirk.

“You did?  All cute for our date tonight?”

You nod, eyes big.  “I wanted it to be special since you’ve been gone so much and we haven’t seen each other.”

Tae’s eyes fill with an unnamed emotion that shoots straight through your heart. He places a hand on your cheek, caressing the gentle skin there before leaning in to press a kiss to your lips.

Kissing Tae never gets old.  If you were a religious person, you’d say it’s like seeing the face of god.  The sky opens, the heavens sing.  He tastes like strawberries and cream.  He makes you feel like all your problems didn’t just melt away, but that they never existed in the first place.

“I’ll make it up to you tonight when we get home,” he murmurs after he pulls away.  “We’ll order pizza.  You can do a striptease for me.  We’ll watch a Disney movie and fuck.”

You can’t help but laugh at the smile he has on his face—the one that says he thinks he’s truly thought of the best date ever.  

“But,” his finger trails down your neck as he continues. “We have a bit before the guys get here.  We could have some fun while we wait.”

His deep voice goes even lower, hitting an octave that strums your core and plays just the right note.  It generates heat within you.

“Here in the dark?” You ask timidly as his hands caress your shoulders.  

“Would you rather it be light outside?” He jokes.

A blush blooms on your cheeks.  You’ve never done anything in public with your boyfriend before.  Your timid nature dictates you keep that for the confines of your locked bedroom.  It was even hard to do anything with Yeontan, your shared pet, in the room.

But you couldn’t deny the idea sounded thrilling.  Invigorating even.  It lit a match inside you and the look on Tae’s face was the gasoline to make it erupt into an inferno.

“I’ve always wanted to try, erm,” you fumble for the right words. “... road head?”

Tae grins even bigger, his boxy smile on display.

“Look at you,” he beams. “My naughty little kitten.”

While you’re adventurous as the next person in the bedroom, you’re a timid one in public.  But you’d risk it all for the man next to you.

“I guess it’s not technically road head if you’re not driving,” you sigh as Tae sits back in his seat.

“Oh darn,” he tsks.  “Guess it’s just regular head then.  On the road.”

Tae makes you laugh and the knot of anxiety loosens inside you.  He’s your boyfriend, your protector and your safe place.  There’s no reason to be anxious.

A coy smile grows on you as you tug your dress down to expose your bare breasts.  You can tell it throws Tae off by the double take he has to do.

“Shit!” He gasps as he moves towards you.  His mouth is pulled to a nipple like there’s a gravitational pull.   The second his mouth latches onto a hardened nub, you’re gasping for air and tugging your fingers through his clean, long hair.  You used to ask him to get a haircut, but now you’re not so sure.  It makes for an excellent grip.

“Baby,” you whine as he nibbles gently.  His hands cup both breasts and massage them gently.  He sucks, tugs, pulls, and swirls his tongue around the nipple and it makes your gasps echo around the car.  Your silk panties are nearing water-logged, and your legs press together to sate the burning you feel.

Tae switches to the other nipple and presses the flat of his tongue against it.  It’s lewd, the way he wantonly stares at you while he licks at your nipple like it’s a melting ice cream cone.  He does the same to your cunt, when he spends hours devouring you whole.  The thought has you aching for more.

“Please, Tae,” you whine. “Let me take care of you.  I need you.”

Tae chuckles with his mouth still eagerly wrapped around a tit, but he pops off easily and licks his lips.

“You can’t just whip your titties out and not expect me to suck them,” he shrugs.  

He moves to unbutton his slacks but your hand stills him.  He looks at you for a moment in confusion, but the smirk on your face says it all.  You want to be the one to undress him.

“Be my guest.”  He leans back in the chair and pushes it away from the steering wheel, giving you ample space to get down to business.

You’re nearly salivating as you can see the straining of your boyfriend’s hard cock against the expensive slacks.  His eyes are tracking you, you can feel them burning into your skull, as your delicate hands rubs the length of him.  His gentle intake of breath is the only way you know he’s affected.  He’s trying to keep himself cool, not lose control too soon.

The button and fly are easy to do, but you take your time doing them. Tae’s mouth falls open with each brush against him.  It’s nearly torture, and he’s so turned on by this behavior of yours that he can’t find it in himself to care about the way you’re teasing him.

He hisses as his cock springs free with one hard tug down.  The cool air of night feels like December on his hot, aching cock but he knows soon he’ll be enveloped in your humid mouth.  

“So pretty,” you coo as you lean down close.  A finger trails up and down the vein running underneath it and Tae shivers.

“Yeah, you are,” he sighs as he presses his head back against the headrest, eyes falling closed at the gentle sensation.  “Fuck, even your teasing feels good.”

Pride swells in your heart as you rub a finger around the thick head, smearing a trail of his pre-cum with it.  Tae can’t hold back the soft groan and gasp at the feeling.

“Is this teasing?” You ask coyly, knowing the answer already.

“Mm,” he sighs.  “I dunno.  You’re the expert.”

It makes you giggle softly, and you gently allow your tongue to fall out of your mouth and lick coquettishly at the tip and smeared pre-cum your finger recently vacated.

“Shit!” Tae’s legs jerk a little at the feeling of your fiery tongue.  His hand grips the side of the car door as his eyes squeeze closed, tight.

Your smirk is nearly exploding off your face, and you finally find it in your heart to grant the man mercy.   You suck the tip of his cock into your mouth, allowing your tongue to lick and swirl around the head.  You’ve sucked your boyfriend’s cock—in the privacy of your own bedroom, that is—so many times that you can unlock him like a code. He’s weak for the attention to the tip.  Couple it with wet strokes of his shaft and the man is rewarding you with a hot load of cum.

“Oh, baby,” he whines. “Baby, baby.”

He loses ability to say anything intelligent—moaning your name and the various pet names he deems appropriate for the night.  Tonight’s name is ‘baby’.  Sometimes it's ‘kitten’.  Sometimes it’s 'dirty bitch’.  He must be in an affectionate mood.

His hand falls to the back of your head, gripping lightly at your hair to form a ponytail in his grasp.  He gently guides your head down, encourages you to begin the descent further to take him in.  You allow the direction and steel yourself as your throat expands to take him all the way in.  It’s slow enough that you don’t gag—you and Tae have trained your throat now to take him deep.  

You come to a rest as you bottom out, nose pressed against the skin of his thigh.  You swallow gently, allow his cock to feel the wave of muscle work its way down his cock.  Taehyung nearly jumps out of his seat at the feeling.

“Holy fuck,” he puffs an exasperated breath out. “You’re gonna make me cum so fucking fast.”

You swallow again, as if to say ‘that’s the fucking point’, and Tae whines loudly.  He grips at your hair tighter and pulls gently, begging you to begin a pace on his cock.  

You can’t find it in you to fight it.  You want to give in to him, want to make him cum so hard and good for you that you’re drinking it.  

It doesn’t take long to set a pace, a hand moving in to assist your plight as you grip at the length you cannot fully suck into your mouth.  Your lips suction and tongue continues its swirling barrage on any square inch of your cock it can find.  

Tae moans loudly, head falling back against the headrest again with a much louder ‘thunk’ than the one previous.   His hand massages at the roots of your hair, a gentle touch that thanks you for your current service.

“So g-good,” he gasps. “Love that hot little mouth, shit.”

Tae’s always vocal in bed, and it’s one of the things you love about him most.  You love that he’s incapable of shutting up, ever.  He talks in his sleep, in the shower, and when your mouth or cunt are shoved full of his cock.  It’s so Tae that it reverberates a feeling of love and affection for the man in your heart, despite the lewdness of the act you’re currently engaged in.

Your free hand moves to draw circles and lightly hold his balls, rolling them gently in his hands.  This is the secret combination in the key to cracking Taehyung’s code.  He thrills for stimulation everywhere, anywhere.  Scratching your nails down his chest as he fucks you, gripping his thighs, cupping his balls.  It sends him reeling.

“Oh, my god!”

You’re correct, yet again.  His cock hardens even more in your mouth, the tip straining against your tongue as it fights against the urge to cum.  He’s close.

“I’m close!  B-baby! Ohhh, fuck.  You wanna swallow me, baby?”

When has that ever been a question he needed to ask?  You nod, cock still deep inside your throat, and the motion makes him keen.

“O-oh, god.”

His legs are tensing, you can feel the way his thighs steel against themselves to prepare for the oncoming storm of his orgasm.  You increase your speed, hand working furiously in time with the rhythm of your mouth.  Tae’s singing your name like it’s a prayer, like you’re a god who just saved his crops from famine and drought.  Maybe you are.

“I’m cumming! Fuuuck, baby! ‘M gonna cum!”

You already know it’s coming before he announces—you can tell by the way his cock head pulses and thickens in your mouth.  Hot stripes of cum pool on your tongue and down your throat as Tae’s deep voice groans loudly throughout the car.  His hand grips your hair tightly, near the verge of pain, but you don’t care.  All you care about is sucking him until you’ve cleaned up every last drop.  

Your tongue laves around the surface of his head still lodged in your mouth and Tae hisses at the overstimulation.  You pull off his length languidly, smirking as you visibly swallow and open your mouth for the boy.  He grins through his heavy panting.

He opens his mouth to say something, but you’re interrupted by a knock at the now steamy window and the shine of a phone flashlight.  Tae scurries to do up his pants and you’re squeaking in fright as you tug your dress back over your exposed breasts.

Tae rolls the window down and Jungkook’s pink face is at the other side, with Jimin behind him—arms crossed.

“You guys are fucking gross,” Jimin grumbles.  “I told you we wouldn’t take that long.”

Taehyung grins as he lets a hand fall onto your soft thigh.

“Had to pass the time somehow.”

© ppersonna - 2020 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

[decembercamiecherries]

intensely beautiful

IT’S KILLUGON DAYYYYYYYYYYY :D and who would I be if I didn’t have a fic to post on the day of my best and most wonderful otp~?

I actually wrote this like two months ago lol. It was inspired by this lovely killugon kiss by @cazzart over on her twitter! It’s a college au ^-^ Pls enjoy!

(title is inspired by the word ceraunophilia which is defined as a deep love of thunder and lightning. It also connotes the idea of finding both intensely beautiful)

-o0o-

Gon had never seen snow before. 

Not this much, at least, and it had never snowed for this long. He watched with quiet awe as layers upon layers of snow fell from the sky, coating the campus in a light coating of powdery white. It had never really been cold enough to snow back at his hometown in Whale Island. The first and last time it happened was when he was only three, wide eyed and enchanted at witnessing something he’d only seen in books or movies.

“It’s snow,” Aunt Mito had told him kindly, standing beside him as he gazed out the window early that morning. “It’s pretty, don’t you think?”

It had been pretty, in a surreal way. Gon had been fascinated with how the snowflakes melted in his palm but stuck hard to the stone walkway leading to their small hut. He’d even tried to keep some, carrying a handful of snow inside only to cry when it started melting. 

And that was the problem with Whale Island and snow. It couldn’t last. By the next day the blinding sun has returned, bringing with it the heat and humidity that was much more familiar to Gon than the cold and grey skies. Within hours, all the snow had gone.

But it was different here. 

“It’s really coming down hard, huh?” Killua asked and Gon glanced up at him. Killua’s nose was scrunched up, a light dusting of pink spread across the sharp angles his cheeks and the tips of ears. He had complained and whined when Gon had first asked him if he wanted to go outside—Killua had never exactly liked the cold, exactly. 

But Gon had asked him anyway, because even if the snow meant it was cold outside, it was still beautiful. And if Gon was going to experience something amazing, he wanted to do it with his best friend at his side. 

“Hmm,” Gon hummed, holding on tighter to Killua’s arm and resting his head on Killua’s shoulder. His head was jostled slightly with every step, but he didn’t let it bother him. “Yeah, it is. But I like it.”

Killua scoffed. “You would like it. Everything is gross and wet and slippery…” He frowned down at Gon. “Have you ever even seen snow before?”

“A while ago. It snowed once back on Whale Island when I was really little.”

Killua quirked an eyebrow. “Really? I would’ve thought it was too hot for that. Whale Island is way further south than here, right?”

“Yeah, well, it only happened once.” 

Gon let his gaze wander from Killua’s pale face to the snow covered grounds. Hunter College looked nearly unrecognizable after the gift from Mother Nature. Silvery white had hidden the dead grass, the bare branches of the trees were decorated with puffs of white that almost looked like clouds. It was even devoid of the students that usually mulled across the lawn between classes, with no one in sight but him and Killua.

Most of the other students had gone home for winter break. But Killua didn’t want that—he didn’t like his family’s empty mansion, or equally empty family members. There was a history there, a reason why Killua had chosen to attend college so far away from everything he had ever known. Gon had never pushed him on it—Killua was Killua, no matter what shadows lurked in his past—and he wasn’t about to now. 

So when Killua has told him he planned on staying for the month-long break, Gon had stubbornly decided to stay, too. Killua didn’t deserve to be alone for so long, and besides, Gon didn’t want to leave Killua alone. 

It didn’t matter how tempting the memory of Aunt Mito’s warm pies or his familiar bed. If Killua was here, that’s where Gon wanted to be.

“Did it ever snow back at your house?” Gon asked curiously, still staring at the blinding whiteness around them. 

He didn’t have to look up to hear the scowl in Killua’s answer. “Ugh, yeah. It snowed a little too much for my liking.”

Gon laughed quietly and squeezed Killua’s arm. “You really, really don’t like the cold, huh?”

“Gee, I wonder what gave you that idea?”

Gon grinned. “I dunno, it’s just a feeling I had.”

Killua snorted and Gon’s grin grew even wider. “You’re so stupid,” Killua said, but the insult had no bite. His tone was warm, so full of soft fondness, that Gon had to look up. Even Killua’s eyes—bright as the sky or a bluejay’s wing, deep as a sapphire or the ocean, blue as Gon’s favorite color—grew tender as they gazed back at Gon.

Gon’s heart squeezed. Killua’s eyes were one of Gon’s favorite things about him, and there were lots of things that Gon liked about Killua. But today his eyes looked especially pretty against the dull grey backdrop of the sky and the empty whiteness surrounding them.

“You didn’t have to come out here, you know,” Gon said softly. The snow crunched under their boots with every step, creating a strange but steady thump-ing sound. “You don’t like the cold but you came out here anyway.”

You came out here for me, he added silently as he watched Killua squirm under his gaze. 

“Yeah, well…” Killua huffed, his breath fogging up into a cloud. “Don’t let it get to your head, okay. I know what you’re thinking and if I get sick, I’m blaming you.”

“You won’t get sick from being cold, Killua. That’s just silly.”

“You would be surprised how many times I’ve gotten sick from just ‘being cold’, Gon. And who are you to know, anyway? You’re not a science major!”

Gon laughed again and the sound was boisterous enough to echo across the clearing and bounce off the nearby trees. It shattered the peaceful silence created by the snow and gon heard Killua grumble something about being too loud, but he couldn’t help himself. Killua made him laugh so easily, almost as easily as breathing.

“M-Maybe not,” Gon admitted, still giggling. “But if you do—do get sick, I promise nurse you back to health and everything!”

“You better,” Killua grumbled as his cheeks pinkened. “This is all your fault.”

“You said that already, Ki-llu-a.”

“That d-doesn’t make it not t-true!”

Killua shivered violently, teeth chattering. Gon frowned and rubbed his arm. It wasn’t enough to warm Killua up much—the heavy winter jacket and hat atop his head should already be doing that—but Gon hoped the action was comforting to his best fried all the same. 

“Do you really want to go back?” he asked, concerned. He’d wanted to see the snow, to breathe in the fresh air and feel the snowflakes melting on his cheeks. Despite all their teasing, he didn’t really want Killua freeze badly enough to get sick. He just wanted to share this special moment with the most special person he knew.

To his surprise, Killua shook his head. “N-No...I’m just not used to it. I usually try to stay inside when it’s snowing like this.”

Gon slowed down, a suggestive but very fun idea hitting him. “Maybe you just need to warm up a little?” he asked slyly. 

Killua slowed to match his pace, giving Gon a suspicious look. Gon didn’t blame him—Killua knew him extremely well after four years of being best friend college buddies and two years of being...well, of being more. Killua knew him better than Gon himself some days. And he definitely knew that tone of Gon’s meant trouble.

“What are you saying?” Killua asked with narrowed blue eyes. Gon hummed thoughtfully before releasing Killua’s arm. He twisted around swiftly to plant himself in front of Killua’s path, forcing the Zoldyck to stop in his tracks.

“I’m saying...you need something to warm you up,” Gon said simply and Killua’s eyes light up.

“Oh, yeah?” Killua shoved his hands into his pockets, looking amused. “And you think you have that something?”

“I might,” Gon admits casually. “But I dunno if you’ll like my idea…”

“Why don’t you try me, and I’ll let you know?”

“Hmm. Well, it might involve me getting in your personal space.”

“Might?” Killua echoed. He was giving Gon all of his attention now, all one-hundred percent of that intense blue gaze was locked onto Gon’s face, and a shiver raced down Gon’s spine—a shiver that had nothing to do with the cold. “When have you ever respected personal space before?”

Gon grinned. “You never seemed to mind it,” he whispered as he leaned in ever so slowly. He could see his reflection in Killua’s eyes, the way his pupils grew large and his breath stuttered as Gon grew near.

“Hard to mind something you get used to,” Killua whispered back and Gon’s toes curled in his boots. 

“You saying I grew on you?” he asked quietly. He let his hands drift forward to carefully graze Killua’s gloved fingers. Killua bit his lip at the contact—a sight that caused a thrill of satisfaction to rush through Gon. It wasn’t hard to see the struggle in Killua’s face, how he was forcing himself not to grab Gon’s hand and tangle their fingers together as they had so many times before.

“Yeah,” Killua breathed. “You did. Like a wart.”

The answer was so unexpected—so, so Killua—that Gon threw his head back and laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed. He laughed until he was gasping for air, eyes watering and cheeks aching from being stretched too far. 

“Ki-Killua,” he wheezed. “You’re—You’re funny.”

Killua rolled his eyes. “I’m not funny. You’re just stupid.”

Gon snickered, not at all minding the insult. Killua’s insults were more like terms of endearment when applied to Gon. He never really meant them.

“You like me anyway,” he reminded Killua in a teasing tone, finally taking Killua’s hands in his and squeezing them. Killua flushed darkly, a pretty blush that had absolutely nothing to do with the cold coloring his normally pale features.

“I unfortunately do,” he muttered and Gon’s heart fluttered. Killua looked so cute just then, pouting with pink cheeks and looking anywhere but at the person of his affection.

“No need to look so embarrassed, Ki-llu-a,” Gon said with a bright grin. “I like you, too.”

Killua down bit his lip. “You do?”

“You know I do.”

“...you’re making fun of me, aren’t you?”

Gon’s smile widened. “Maybe just a little. But I can’t help it! You look so cute when you get all flustered.”

Killua opened his mouth, looking like he was about to argue, and that’s when Gon moved. He rushed forward and pressed his lips to Killua’s, still smiling as their mouths touched. 

For a moment, Killua didn’t move. He stayed stiff as wood against Gon—out of surprise more than anything, Gon was sure—but then he melted into Gon’s embrace, leaning against the shorter student as he kissed Gon soundly back. 

Killua’s lips were warm, Gon noted. They were warm and soft and tasted faintly of the hot chocolate Gon had made for him just hours earlier. They were familiar and good and Gon hummed happily before tilting his head to get an even deeper kiss. Killua responded by winding his arms around Gon’s middle, squeezing his waist hard enough as if he could keep Gon here in this moment with just his strength alone. 

Which, he really didn’t need to do. Because Gon wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world than here with Killua, sharing this moment with him as the snowflakes collected on their shoulders and in their hair.

Gon didn’t know how or why, but everything felt right when he was with Killua. Killua had a way of making the world brighter, his problems lighter, his challenges easier. Even when the world was already so beautiful with the snow falling from the sky and the icicles decorating the trees, nothing could ever really compare to the beauty that was Killua.

Gon pulled back and Killua’s eyelashes fluttered. Hazy blue eyes gazed back at him and something hot twisted in Gon’s gut.

“Feeling warmer?” Gon asked, voice hoarse, and Killua sucked in a shuddering breath.

“A little,” he said, cheeks stained red. “But I don’t think I’m entirely warmed up yet.”

Gon tilted his head as he tried to hold back the smile fighting its way onto his face. “Really?”

Killua nodded. “Really.”

Gon grinned. He threw his arms around Killua’s shoulders and pulled Killua in for another kiss, this time holding Killua to him as his boyfriend once more melted into his embrace.

[evanbucklley]

here's an idea: eddie kissing buck's tattoos, all of them 👀 you can take it from there. we love some intimacy

this was a prompt right? because i wrote it lol i hope it’s okay.. 

In these small hours (ao3)

It was a quiet night, the tv volume was low, the glaring light brightening the dim loungeroom just enough to see the man sitting next to him. Eddie unconsciously stroked Bucks arm, his thumb leaving a trail of warmth with it. Eddie couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so peaceful; a time where he could just be. The outside world felt so far away, it was just them and they just were. Complete homely bliss. Eddie glided him thumb up Bucks arm, tracing the outline of his double banded tattoo, catching Bucks attention.  

Bucks focus switched between Eddies hand and his eyes – that deep hazel capturing him in a trance, the warm colouring like an old oak under the golden haze of summer.

“How many tattoos do you have anyway?” Eddie asked.

“Uh,” Buck paused and looked off to the left, mentally counting, “…six… No, seven. Why?”

Eddie smiled, “Just curious.” Eddie continued to drag his fingers over Bucks skin and licked his lips. He had always wondered about Bucks tattoos – whether they’d been the object of fascination or meaningful event, Eddie wanted to know everything. “Can I see them?” The question slipped out before he had the chance to catch himself. The unconscious thought was now present in the verbal world. Eddie mentally cursed at himself for his lack of tact – he would’ve asked Buck eventually… but in a way that meant something. For the both of them. The air caught in his lungs as he couldn’t quite bring himself to breathe.

Buck scratched his cheek, lines forming between his eyebrows before he spoke, “Uh, yeah, I guess if you want to.”

Eddie’s eyes widened only for a fraction of a second. He didn’t expect that he’d be so… open? Maybe? He knew Bucks tattoos were mainly scattered over his arms and torso from previous incidents of nudity; like when they went to the beach together with Christopher or when he’d caught him coming out of the shower. But never had he gotten quite close enough to look.

Buck leaned forward and grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling it over his face then off his arms. A shimmer glistened over his torso, from the minute beads of sweat forming with the humidity. Eddie swallowed. The material was then discarded over the back of the couch.

Eddies face flushed; the memory no matter how wonderful, paled in comparison to the real time Buck without a shirt. God just the sight sent a tingling sensation through his body. His tongue darted out leaving a quick, damp layer over his bottom lip before his teeth sunk down.

“When did you get this one?” he asked, moving closer.

Buck paused, a sad smile meant only for him surfacing as he relieved a memory, “About 10 years ago now I think.”

“Tell me about it?”

Buck pondered for a second, caught up in the nostalgia.

“Only if you’re okay with it, I mean.”

“No, I wanna tell you.” Buck took a deep breath in. “When I was little my grandma used to look after me a lot – she was one of the most kind-hearted people I’ve ever known.”

Was? Eddie gave Bucks arm a squeeze.

“She used to uh, have this little vegetable garden out by the back porch.” His face lit up in the sweetest grin, “We used to plant things together you see–” Buck nudged Eddie’s shoulder–, “Oh! The strawberries were my favourite, and I would always get in trouble for eating them all before she had the chance to collect them.” He laughed heartily. This time there was no sadness, only joy at the shared memory of the past. “Anyway, just after I got out of high school, she… she died and it hit me a little hard, I guess. The very next day I was in the parlour getting inked. My folks weren’t too happy about that.”

“Must’ve been rough,” Eddie said. He knew he shouldn’t have been happy in that moment, but he was. Buck was sharing a story about himself. A rarity among rarities. This was something only he knew. And that felt glorious.

“I guess… She was a big part of my life but she passed away peacefully and that’s all I could really ask for, you know? She lived a long, happy life.”

Eddie’s heart melted. He couldn’t believe someone this genuine existed. Maybe it was the residual heat of the day, or the Santa Anas but Eddie had an overwhelming desire to touch him. To embrace him. His hand slipped to the underside of Bucks arm and he tugged it close to his face, lips brushing over the banded tattoo. His heart was pounding in his chest, his blood on fire as if he had been thrust into the sun. He couldn’t stop there. He pushed Buck down so he was lying flat on the couch, and hovered over top, trailing kisses up Bucks arm before landing at another tattoo – this one an overlay of geometric shapes, kind of resembling a star, situated on Bucks chest. To which he also placed a slow, sensual kiss.

Buck whined but didn’t resist. Oh God did that noise set Eddies heart ablaze.

“Eddie –” Bucks tongue caught in his throat as Eddie swiped his hand over his left peck.  

“Shhh… I’m counting,” Eddie whispered, his warm breath unleashing goose bumps over Bucks skin.

Eddie trailed his thumb upwards, gliding over the next tattoo, a squiggle-shaped three with a cross over top. He brought his mouth to Bucks burning skin, caressing it in a light peck.

“That makes three.” He looked up at Buck, eyes full of hunger.

There was this fiery desire inside of him, wanting, needing to caress every mark that ever had the blessing to grace Bucks supple skin. Each one, a moment or memory in Buck’s life that he hadn’t known. He ached to know every last detail about this man.

Buck writhed underneath him as Eddie raked his hands down Bucks torso. Buck desperately tried to cover his face with his arms to hide his reddening features, revealing another tattoo on the inside of his left upper arm in the process. Oh? One hand stayed synched on Bucks waist, but the other grasped Bucks elbow and pushed it down as his lips crashed onto the fourth tattoo. Bucks skin slightly salty, as Eddie swiped his tongue over the area.

“Four.”

Buck moaned then sunk lower into the couch. Eddie paused. Did he just find a sweet spot? Though unexpected it was a welcome surprise; Eddie loved hidden treasures. He smirked.

Eddie delicately withdrew Bucks hand from his face, wanting to see everything. The soft lighting hit Buck in every right way; as if the warm glow had cast a magic spell, he was enchanted. He caressed under Bucks eye, rubbing softly before cupping his hand around Bucks face.

It caught Eddie off-guard when Buck leaned into his hand and shut his eyes. Here he was, embracing the man that had filled his whole heart and thought there wasn’t a luckier man alive.

“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free,” Buck whispered.

“What?”

“The one on my arm… it’s a quote from Michelangelo,” Buck responded, still flustered. “You know, the artist.”

Eddie chuckled, “I know who Michelangelo is, Buck.” Eddie raised his eyebrows, “He also happens to be Christopher’s favourite ninja turtle.”

“A respectable choice,” Buck grinned.

“You know he was 13 when he started his apprenticeship?”

“The turtle?” Eddie, of course, knew exactly who he meant but it was always fun playing dumb. He loved it when Buck told him of his passions, dumping copious amounts of information that he’d stayed up researching. And hey, he even learned a thing or two.

Buck giggled, shoving Eddies chest, “The artist.”

“Oh.”

“He wasn’t even the first choice to paint the Sistine Chapel, Raphael was – ” Buck let out a squeal as Eddie nibbled down his chest–, “But convinced the pope to hire Michelangelo to prove he didn’t have the range. He sure showed him – painted the whole thing himself. It may have taken 4 years but he did it.”

Eddie rested his chin on Bucks ribcage and stared up at him, eyes full with a soft smile. It was warm, but of the pleasant kind, and Eddie’s face rose and fell with Bucks chest as he continued his rambling adventure. The vibrations from Bucks voice like the pattering of rain on a tin roof, and his heartbeat like excited footsteps on hard wood flooring. If there were one meaning for his existence, it would be this moment.

Buck smoothed his hand over Eddie’s hair, giving it a tousle, and guided his arm into Eddie’s line of sight.

“I think you were at five,” Buck’s voice now low and gravelly.

Eddie could hardly contain himself – not only was Buck not rejecting his advancements, he was responding, initiating.

Taking this chance, Eddie held Bucks hand with a firm grip and trailed five kisses up the length of the quote.

“Five kisses for the fifth,” he whispered.

Eddie moved on from Bucks arm, still unwilling to release Bucks hand, and continued to kiss down Bucks torso. An outline of a head, with an anatomical heart was the next tattoo he found, on the lower left side of Bucks abdomen.

He had a pretty good idea what this one was about. Buck had always been an emotional thinker – he followed his heart wherever it took him. And that wasn’t a bad thing. Especially since that heart lead Buck here, to Eddie. Buck’s heart was and probably will always be, the best thing about him.

Eddie placed his lips over the black ink and he could almost feel it beating. Thump. Thump. Thump. Or maybe that heartbeat was his own? He nibbled the area then smoothed it over with his tongue, Buck squirming underneath him. This was by far his favourite. He placed his mouth around the centre of the heart and sucked for a few seconds before releasing. Bucks skinned reddened and Eddie smirked. The heart was now as vibrant as his own.

“This was number six… so there’s one more left.” He shot a look to Buck, prompting him to tell him where the last one was. Buck shied away, blinking a few times. Was the last one somewhere… indecent?

Eddie growled and grabbed the top of Bucks pants, ready to explore the hidden territory. Buck bit his lip and glided his hand atop Eddie’s and lead it down over his hip. Eddie took slow shallow breaths, like a predator ready to pounce. Buck continued to move their hands lower and lower until he reached the bottom of his left trouser leg. He dragged up the hem, revealing the quote scrawled in cursive over his calf. Eddie chuckled. Buck was teasing him. Oh, he was going to get him back for that later.

Eddie gave it a quick kiss before sitting back up.

“You sure you don’t have any more?” he said, almost sulky. He wanted to keep going.

Buck cleared his throat and looked away, feigning interest in the house now showing on the tv.

“Hey that’s pretty cool, I’ve always wanted to renovate my own house.”

Eddie looked to the screen, “It’s a lot harder than it looks on tv you know – whether you get contractors or do it yourself.”

Bucks gave him a look and sat up, “Can I put my shirt back on now?”

“If you must.” Eddie noticed the evasion of his question but that only made it more exciting. One of these days he would find out for sure if Evan Buckley did indeed have another tattoo.

[0225pm]

hellooooo i just got home after a long day out and felt like i should type everything while i’m still awake rn hehe

so a few days back we actually alr planned to have dinner with the gang today so that’s what we did lolol cus seanna alr booked a table for us as well so that we don’t have to wait in line.

i’m just gonna start the story of the day from the very beginning.

so yesterday night farhan told me his plan was to go pay for his bike and then he’ll come over to meet me but what time he’s coming would depends on what time he’s gonna be awake. i don’t mind cus as long as i can to spend some private time with him for the day it’s fine by me cus since we’re meeting the gang lol ok does it sound nice when i say gang cus it doesn’t seem right but wtvr nvm i guess we shall just say squad instead so yeah we were gonna meet the squad at 6pm so i felt like if i were to meet him like maybe 5pm it felt so late? in a sense that i’m unable to spend private time with him much for the day considering that by the time we head home he has to leave bc of his curfew. so yeah i think he reached my place around 3+?

so before he reached my place i alr picked out what to wear and this time round i knew what i wanted to wear like i think i made this decision is like a split second hahaha even tho i’m actually quite fickleminded but yeah i chose to wear a dress cus it was ezpz 😂 i just have to wear safety shorts instead of having to think of what to wear for the bottoms. actually i had two outfits in mind but considering how hot it was today i felt like jeans was out of the idea even tho my dress was black in color lol. and then i forgot that my hair dryer is a spoiled wtf so i had to sit in front of the fan and let it dry a little bit before i used this comb dryer thing to comb it out. honestly i much prefer using a hair dryer cus it’s faster and i guess there’s less hair fall i’m actually quite insecure about my hair lol i think i mentioned before in a prev post. and using the comb dryer makes me feel like it’s tugging a bit too hard onto my hair follicles since my hair itself is alr so fine and thin but the finishing is so pretty la. paired it with a hair oil and you’ll have nice smooth salon styled hair but still ya hair dryer la for now. then i prepped and all of sudden farhan was alr outside waiting hahaahha i actually saw that he alr arrived so i asked him if he’s coming up and before i knew it, he was alr outside knocking on my window. btw bb pls knock gently!! it’s louder on the inside than on the outside 😂😂😂 so then i let him in and i think he was a little frus? cus i wasn’t fully prepared or maybe cus he saw that i was just laying down on the bed before he came hahaha but ya so i let him in and this time i was perspiring like heck wtf. it’s rly damn humid today bruh ugh 🥵 then i went to do my hair and then changed into a home clothes since i has a feeling that we won’t be heading out yet and idw to sweat in my dress.

and then i came into my room and i saw that he was eating subway and then i looked down and he passed me one!!!! haissss ;-; he took note of what i wanted wtf and even took note of the kind of bread i like which is flatbread cus it rly is like a pita bread so damn soft and chewy i love it!!!! my next fav bread is honey oats hehe take note ah bb if flatbread ever sold out LOLLLL 😂 as for the mains i’ve only ever tried a few on their menu and by far i think for chicken i rly like their teriyaki chicken. so he got it for me and without veggies omg. we were having a conversation about it cus he said that he ordered subway to eat at home first before coming over and then we talked about the kind of sauce and the mains and veggies etc etc and i guess he was sort of taking notes also??? or maybe he saw my tweet hahaha cus the other day i posted that i wanted subway 😂 either way it’s so sweet la hais hahaha so easy to make me happy hahaha just feed me food and let me complain that i’m gaining weight and then tell me that it’s okay you’ll still love me even if i grew like a balloon lololol 😂😂😂 and they rly tk lokek with the chicken sia wtf it was so sedapppppp legit cravings satisfied but now that i’m typing this i got the feels to have subway again wtfffff maybe this time their subway melt main or the chicken ham hehe or maybe i should try their chicken breast cus i heard that one is good if you add extra cheese but i scared the chicken breast will be too dry tbh so that’s why i never rly got the strong feel to try it.

[ain-t-bovvered]

JiBcon 2019

Hi everyone, welcome to my early recollection of the “what the fuck is going on” JiB convention.

So as I hope many of you know I’m Italian, but I live in the North ( lol long live the North y’  all, it’s the best I guarantee, I mean I always miss the north so much every time I leave). Anyway, Rome is like not even an hour flight from when I am so I didn’t even felt the flight nerves because it was over even before I could say: “ fuck I wanna land already!”.

[Listen I have a lot to say, this is going to be real long so get ready]

1ST DAY, 17th May

I arrived in Rome Friday at noon and went straight to my hotel, not the Hilton because.... lol, it was a hotel like 5min away ( but still they charged me 8€ like....yeah alright forgot I’m in Italy, not that surprised).

Took a shower and then went running around the city to see as much as possible since the next two days I wouldn’t be able to. My feet were destroyed btw.

Whatever forgot to eat until I came back to the hotel at 8pm or something, fell into bed and lights out. I say lights out as in I switched off the lights, my eyes were wide open because... FUCKING JIB TOMORROW !!.

2ND DAY, 18th May.

Got up at the healthy time of 6am *groans in Italian* and got ready as best as my trembling hands could. I also tried to curl my hair but the second I got out and on the train, they were already fucked, THANKS ROME HUMIDITY.

Went to meet @purpleskiesandcherrypies in her room and, to quote her: “sHe’s sO ShoRT AnD CuTe “  y’ all. I was already in love ok? Nat babe, I love you and you are my queen ok? 

Anyway, we kept pacing in the room not knowing what to do and repeating that this was a really bad idea and fuck this shit and we are not fucking ready and why did we do this thing to ourselves,  for a couple of stressing minutes,  like two normal healthy people right? and then we were like....we should like.....go downstairs and get our passes right? should we? NOPe....yeah ok, we should. So yeah grabbed the passes and stood in line to enter the con premises. 

So my first thing on the schedule was Jensen Photo Op and like...* nervous laughter* why did I do that to myself? Anyway, Nat had an angel pass so she was in a different line but still beside me for a part of the wait, she went in first and came outside to scream at my face and like....thank you Satan I do not need this??? Then my turn came quickly ( had a Demon pass), too quickly for I was not ready when I entered the room and HE STOOD RIGHT THERE SMILING AND LOOKING FLY AS HELL LIKE AN ASSHOLE. 

Jensen OP: How is it?

first of all, YOU may think you are ready, bitch let me tell ya, YOU FUCKING AIN’T, so don’t even kid yourself, just stay in line and wait for your death, that’s what it is. AND YES, it’s really quick so try to stay focused on him ( LOL SURE ). My turn came and I couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot and I think he saw that because his smile grew and I SWEAR IT WAS CRINKLE CITY RIGHT UP THERE and I almost choked. I mean...he’s TALL OK, and his eyes were darker than I thought but I guess with all the edits of his pictures we see online one can get a very different idea of reality. His BEARD THO, it was lighter than his hair, almost looked red and so full and nicely trimmed, and I was like blinded by his smile because fuck that was bright.Also....Y’ ALL, JENSEN IS SLENDER, he’s so slender, I’m so used to him being in so many layers that seeing him in person and with just a jean shirt was a shock. I must say, Jensen is Jensen and Dean is Dean ( as in physically) I mean, I could tell and I loved it, it changed my grasps on both of them so much.  I tried to calm down to AT LEAST say a couple of words ( I was not expecting much from me honestly) but it went like this: 

me: Hi!

Jensen: Heeey!

me: is just a hug alright?

Jensen: sure thing.

He opened his arms and I just went in ( being respectful to not like lean on him like a leech, but yeah he pulls you closer if he’s in the mood), and oh god he’s warm and soft and smell like sunshine, well I smelled something sweet and spicy but the sweet part could honestly come from all the girls he hugs, in a way you could say he smell like us, lol. Like Nat, I didn’t even see the photographer at all I just look ahead and smiled, I didn’t think to smile, there was no need I was radiant, and I felt his hand covering most on my shoulder.

It was over before I could even realize what the fuck was happening. Anyway, we pulled away slowly enough that my hand lingered on his arm, and yes it was amazing. I said: “thank you so much” probably with tears in my eyes, idk (but  I know myself I probably was ) and he smiled sweetly and said, “no, thank youuu” and I was like.... lol ok I can’t, and went out the room walking on clouds. 

I’m gonna put something to cover my face in case this photo goes around Pinterest or some hell site similar.

let me tell you, I didn’t notice how tight he held me, but both his arms engulfed me. When I went to get the pic later I almost squealed because, LOOK AT HIS FACE, HE LOOKS SO CUTE AND HAPPY AND I DIED OK, Nat can confirm my freak out.

Anyway, done with that I needed a break, we both did honestly, and we went to sit for the panels. The first one was J2 panel, and awe I was not really ready to see him again, but YAY got my first glimpse of Jared and YEEEES BEARD AND BEANIE, love it.  You’ll all see the Panels everywhere so I’m not gonna be here and tell you everything that they said and did. But Jared talked about his new puppy and Jensen tried to open a bottle of unicorn wine and tried to punch the cork in and drink it ( insert many Italian offended sounds ), then he used heavy Texas accent and said Yeee-haw and I didn’t think I needed to hear that as much as I did, like....YES PLEASE AGAIN.

Anyway panel ended and they exit the stage, and boi Misha came up.

NOW LISTEN, first glimpse at Misha too.....and FUCK HE’S PRETTY OK?, HE’S SO PRETTY HE BLINDED ME DEAD FROM THE STAGE. The crowd just went B-A-L-L-I-S-T-I-C. Lots were leaving because they had Jared op and Jensen auto, and Misha was like: “Where are you, people going? SEND THEM BACK WHEN YOU ARE DONE JARED AND JENSEN!”.  Misha had a red jacket and a dark polo under it, boi I was already sweating.

Misha was his normal inappropriate self as always and I love it every time. Just let Misha be Misha y’ all, because if you don’t he gets in a bad mood, like I think happened the next day. 

Also, next game with friends while watching con’s videos: DRINK every time MISHA SAYS “UM”, OR JARED’S TOUCH HIS HAIR.

happy alcoholic coma y’ all.

I and Nat were not sitting near each other, I was far back but we texted and LOL, something like “what Misha smoked, I want it “ and “ he’s so pretty I wanna cry” and “Misha looks delicious” went back and forth, so everything was going GREAT.

Next, I got the autos from Misha and Jensen. And I wasn’t expecting much because yeah ...they are autos and they go fast. I was pleasantly surprised because you could look at them the whole time you are in line, and it’s a nice view alright. Jensen was already sitting and signing and I was in line for Misha’s, who was not there yet, and fucking surprise bitch, he entered the room and passed right beside me, at arm's length, and .....* takes a deep breath* ...I can’t even begin to describe him, like...I can’t. 

He’s tall, like...it’s true he’s the smallest in height but, fuck he’s still that tall and he’s so??? well??? built??? like....he’s massive and sturdy and like I think he has his own gravity because damn I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. And he was so tan and glowing, and FUCK HIS SMILE WAS SO SOOTHING AND I MELTED. He had a bit of a shadow beard that looked so good. Anyway, I get ready to die because my heart was pounding, I got up to him and same thing as always:

Misha

me: Hi Misha.

Misha: Hello! *smile*

me internally: AAAAAAAAH 

He signed with a little heart and gave back the card and he like kept eye contact and I said the weakest “thank you” ever, smiling like an idiot again, probably scrunching my nose because I do that, and he smiled his lopsided smile and winked ( like an asshole because COME ON HOW DARE U DO THAT TO ME). And let me tell you about his eyes. 

Jensen and Jared have real nice eyes, don’t get me wrong, but I found out that they are a bit different from what I had expected, not disappointed because DAMN, but yeah, different. 

Misha’s tho?....pictures don’t make him justice on any level. HE’S STUNNING! STUNNING! His eyes are really that light blue, and in person, they are even more beautiful, breathtaking, I felt like he was staring at my soul.

Next up was Jensen’s auto, stared the whole line, and UUUUUGH he changed his shirt in a brown t-shirt and you could see all his bracelets and necklace and he looked GOOOOOD. 

Jensen

Same as before I said “Hello!” and he smiled and said “Hi” while chewing like usual and god he’s cute ok. His auto was a bit faster and I knew I couldn’t say much but I tried while he was signing. I just said “Thank you for everything Jensen” and he smiled while signing and thanked me and then I was floating out the room already.

Then I and Nat went to have some overpriced salads, which we didn’t even finish because, first of all....we were fangirling too much over ...well, everything, second, not that hungry.

Lunch time’s over, I went to get all the autos available, and I was giddy like a schoolgirl, Rob, Adam and Rich y’ all.

Rob 

He’s striking, and he’s so sweet and looks so delicate and his voice is so warm and welcoming and I wanted to cry how cute he was. I said Hello Rob, and how he was doing, and then I unblocked and told him I hoped he was having a great time and he got so happy and shiny eyes and said he was having a fantastic time and asked me the same. I wanted to keep talking but again, like Nat’s said you don’t wanna keep the line waiting so I just smiled and say thank you so much and bye. Oh and heart on his sign too.

Adam

He was a treasure and I asked him the same question because hey maybe I finally got the hang of this shit, so they all were having a great time.

Rich

and then, of course, he messed with me. He was so excited and hyperactive he almost made a babbling mess out of me, ALMOST. He asked me from where I was and I said, I’m Italian, and what does this asshole do?, lol tries to speak Italian.

Rich: *in bad Italian*  customization? 

me: ???????

Rich to his handler: how do you say that?

me and his handler trying to spell the word: PERSONALIZZAZIONE. Hilarious. Well, he got the hang of it fairly quickly and gave me back the card, unsigned I was like...?????? 

Rich: you give me that back and ask me.

me: OH  *probably blushing like an idiot* 

Rich: Hello!

me: HI! *hands the card* to Giulia, please?

Rich: Sure love!

me: *giggles like a schoolgirl* thank you! 

Rich: no thank you for the practice!

me: you are welcome 

I got in line for Jared’s but he was running late and I had his photo Op next, so I got out to get in line for that because it was the last solo one. I thought yeah alright I already broke the ice with Jensen, how worse can this be?

let me tell ya....that bitch that said that right there? LOL, SHE’S AN IDIOT. DON’T LISTEN TO HER...EVER.

Found some girls from my hometown too, lol the world sure is small, we fangirled shamelessly, but I got the feeling one of them was not a Misha fan at all and ...lol nope ok, but they were nice either way.  

Jared OP: how is it?

Again let me tell ya, not fucking ready. I get into the room and Jesus Fucking Christ he looks MAJESTIC, MAJESTIC I tell you. He had a dark blue jacket and a shirt with some flower or something on it, the beard was distracting. He looked in such a good mood, which I was glad, no beanie, which I was also glad ( love it but I wanted that mane free). Anyway, do I need to tell you he’s tall? yeah well, he’s taller than tall. I walked up to him, smiling. AND FUCK THAT WAS A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE. He had some light behind him that shining through his hair made him look like an actual Jesus with a halo, and y’ all I’ve been blessed. His eyes looked so bright, and this strange combination of almost green-hazel created by the lights on his face. and y’ all his beard was so thick and luscious...YES 

me: Hi!

Jared: Hi Sweetie

Me internally  NO NOOOOOO.

Me: Is just a hug alright?

Jared: Absolutely, come here ( or bring it, I’m not sure I was still mentally screaming)

Anyway, the moment he saw me he crunched down, and he crunched down so low that I almost got offended LOL, but I mean I needed to be in the frame right? His hugs are BONE CRUSHING, he hugs you so tight and squeezes too, it almost hurt, felt his bearded chin on my head too, it was amazing.

We both pulled away slowly and as I said “Thank you sooo much “  he slid his hand down my arm and squeezed it, again, almost hurting me, and said “thank you” with the sweetest smile.

Then we saw the last panels, Misha’s and after Jared’s that closed the day.

Nat and I went on a food and alcohol mission to the Spanish steps and then threw our coins in the Trevi fountains so we can get back next year too. Got to chat more, got roasted about my late car and my new one, like.... thanks Nat, love ya too. Took a taxi back because lol Italian transports ...are AmAziNG, and then shower and crashed the bed at like 1 am?

3RD DAY, 19th May

...Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy...

got my pass and I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit the JiBcon.

Before I leave, pack my suitcase and all of my shit

‘cause when I leave for the Hilton I ain’t coming back.

Reaching Nat again and she’s freaking out about the Jensen M&G, which I’m like...LOL CAN’T RELATE.

First Panel is Jared’s and he’s gracious and funny as always, but also he said that for him it was 2am and jet lag was starting to hit hard. Nat went to take her Op and she wrote to me that Misha was wearing a leather jacket and a Kiss t-shirt and LISTEN CAN HE NOT? Anyway, Jared’s panel ended and I made my way to take Misha’op and, oh boi the line started right where he was gonna walk by to get to the room and I was first row. So he passed by and , like the dumb fangirl I am I stick out my hand, and YA WE HELD HANDS FOR A HOT SECOND and it was great, 10/10 would do again. ( Nat roasted my ass again ).

I was in line and I noticed that I would lose Alex and Matt’s autos, but I couldn’t get out Misha’s op because the other one was at the same time as Jared autos, which I couldn’t lose because the next one was during the Cockles’ panel and I’m not losing that shit. 

Misha’s OP: How is it?

Ok, I could write you papers about how damn pretty Misha is. I’m almost sad that photos don’t really make him justice, I guess machines can’t handle all that beauty. And although he looked like a snac, he also seemed tired, so I was already like....aw shit. I get into the photo space and he looks like he’s in a good mood anyway, and I can’t stop staring and smiling like an idiot as he takes all the photos, I mean I was standing where he had to look for the picture but it also looked like he was looking at me ( shut up, let me dream), anyway eye contact again, it was magical. Until it was my turn.

I walked up to him and .....LOL.

I didn’t know where to focus. He’s massive, I didn’t know where his fucking chest stopped and his face is also big and wide and those eyes that pierce through you? well, I was lucky that I managed to babble something. 

Now, this is where it gets a little ... well, you’ll see.

Misha: Hello!

me: Hi Misha! ( probably in a tiny squeaky voice, because ...Misha) Is a hug alright? ( I went with the same formula because I know it’s alright, but asking if it is,  seems like the polite thing to do, like asking for consent)

Misha: Yep

and then he wrapped me and I’m like, this is great, he smells so good, like spicy and very manly but also fresh, so it was not overwhelming. Then, again leaning back to thank him and he nodded, winked and all his face scrunched and again that cute crooked smile. So I was like, ok he looked tired but he seemed still in a good mood. But then I got hand on my photo and ...I mean, not gonna lie I was a bit bummed out because he’s not really smiling. So I was giving myself a headache thinking if I did or said something wrong, and I know I didn’t but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I didn't look at the photo for some time until I let Nat see it. And yeah, while he may not be smiling that much, he still looked soft, we both came to the conclusion, also because we saw more pics of the same session, he wasn’t hardcore smiling the whole time. Then we saw more of the Jensen’s photo of this last day and he too isn’t smiling in all of them, I mean, they all looked so tired. 

To joke about it , just to make me feel a bit better and less bitter ( because I have no reason to be, they tired and they are entitled to be tired, I’m just thankful that they were there), I said that I thought I was getting a Misha OP and instead I got a Castiel’s one, like: why is Castiel here? Did another French Mistake happen? which....yeah fair.

The last thing I needed to get was Jared’s auto. So I went to get in line really early because I had nothing else to do and the room was FREEZING, I suspected because of Jared, which I get it, I prefer to be cold than hot and sweaty since I’m like him a sweat a lot with minimum effort. 

Again they let us in before Jared arrived so we were all standing in line when he walked in. And AGAIN, walked right beside me, and I saw people respecting boundaries and staying put in their spot, but some just raised their hands and Jared gladly high-fived people who wanted, so who am I to deny that to myself?. So I shoved my shyness aside and timidly raised my hand too. But lol I’m short af so he had to bend a bit for me so I would not step forward ( bodyguards were strict as they should )  and we smacked hands with a really nice “CLAP”. It was amazing, and yes he smiled again, Jared was in a really good mood all con and I’m glad he was having a good time ( at least that’s the impression I had). Jared wore a dark green plaid shirt and a black t-shirt, black jeans and black beanie and he looked the softest boi ever.

Jared

Anyway, my turn to get my auto and I went in slow because I wanted to at least say a few words, and I did.

Jared: Hi!

me: Hi Jared! How are you?

Jared: I’m awesome, thank you, and how are you?

me: I’m great. Thank you for everything.

Jared with his sweet puppy eyes, and beanie, and a soft sweet warm smile just stared at me for a quick second and mouthed the sweetest “thank you”, lightly touching his chest. I smiled and nodded and went on my merry way outside the room, AND THEN I DIED.

So at this point, I had finished, I waited for Nat while watching in awe my autos collection 

Before the last panels, I managed to get lots of glimpses of everyone again. Jensen as he got out the m&g room, and then all of the cast as they walked out to get the group picture with the Jib10 people. Then it was time for the panels. Jason played and sang for us as we waited for Jared and Misha panel, and I mean...Boy’s got a real fucking nice voice live, I recorded two songs, Stand by Me and Perfect Spot. 

And then the panel started.

GOD THIS PANEL. I had tears from laughing. Misha run out the room, Jared followed him, and the bodyguards running after them panicking. I CAN’T. And then Misha did some accents and I died again ( drink every time I wrote I died). Jared was on FIRE.

OH, before I forget, I laugh like Jensen, the leaning back laugh. Yeah I do, it’s great, never noticed like that before, I mean I’m Italian so I move a lot when I talk, it makes sense that when I burst into a laugh, I laugh with my whole body, so now y’ all know.

Matt and Alex's panel was also really nice. I finally got to see some Alex! He’s so cute, he’s a treasure, I love him so much and ...he’s so different from Jack like you can’t confuse them AT ALL. I wish him the best. ( Also he said that Lord Tyrion will surpass him in popularity and I agree ).

Then the long wait for the Cockles panel. Nervewracking becasue Nat needed to go take her flight and I was wishing she could at least get a glimpse of them before leaving. Well, we all know how that panel went anyway.

I got out for a couple of minutes to say goodbye with Nat and I wanted to cry becasue she’s the sweetest and I love her and she deserves the best. We didn’t say goodbye but a “see you”, that’s what we hope. 

and ...that’s all folks!

If you have questions, maybe I missed something, ASK AWAY.

for now, this is the post, maybe I’ll edit it when more things came to mind.

[eldritchsurveys]

680.

Do you or have you ever owned a cup with your name on it? >> Actually, I have two. One time there was this dude in Meijer who was doing a promotion for Guinness, and the promo was apparently... giving out custom-engraved pint glasses???? You told him your name and he had this machine that put it on the glass for you. It was weird, especially since it was free... The font that your name is in is a bit wack, though. The other thing I have is a wine glass painted with a nighttime-y scene with skeletal trees and ravens on it. It has my name painted on the stand part, along with the date of my wedding. Sparrow has one too, with her name on it. I’m not even sure where they came from, tbh, but they’re pretty.

What’s the most expensive crafts tool that you own? >> I don’t think I own any expensive crafts tools. The only things I have are, like, pencils, a sketchbook, knitting needles, and yarn.

Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? >> Maybe as a child.

How do you like Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis? >> It’s all right.

Speaking of Jerry Lee Lewis, have you seen the biopic about him? >> I don’t think so.

How about the biopic about Tina Turner? >> Yeah, I saw that one.

Do you like the TV-show Frasier? >> I do, it’s actually funnier to me now than when I was younger. Back then I thought it was boring but it kills me now.

What’s something you know by heart? >> A lot of song lyrics? Also, the Litany Against Fear.

What is something you’re greedy about? >> I don’t think I’m particularly greedy about anything.

How valuable does a coin have to be for you to bother to pick it up? >> I’d pick up a quarter, maybe. I’m just no longer in the financial position where picking up coins substantially enhances my available funds.

What would be something you would wait in line to get for free? >> It depends on how long the line is, what kind of mood I’m in, and where I am... not just on what the item is. If I’m in a good mood and the line seems manageable, I’d wait in it even if the item is just some random trinket that I have no real use for. If I’m not in a good mood and the line is insane, I wouldn’t wait in it even if it was for an expensive thing I’ve been wanting for ages.

Has there ever been a leak anywhere in your house? >> No.

Have you ever slipped in the shower? >> Not to the point of falling.

Have you ever made any decorative crafts? If so, are they displayed? >> Not in recent memory.

Is it very humid where you are right now? >> Nah.

What is the most suggestive thing someone has said to you? >> *shrug*

Do you have friends who you playfully flirt with? >> No.

Doesn’t the Z in the Bzoink logo look like an L to you, too? >> I mean, not really, but I see where you’re coming from.

Did you ever take that 5000 question survey that was circulating Tumblr? >> Yeah, I took it a long time ago. Once the novelty wore off, I realised that most of the questions were just terrible IMO, which is bound to happen once you endeavour to write a survey with quite that many questions.

Have you ever had to change a zipper in your favourite article of clothing? >> No.

Do you prefer buttons or zippers in general? >> Zippers.

Did you grandma have a box full of pretty buttons? >> ---

What’s the most exotic spice in your spice rack? >> Hmm... garam masala, maybe? We have a wide variety.

Do buttons tempt you to press them? >> Not usually, but sometimes.

Do you have a favourite television host? >> No.

What’s your opinion on celebrity chefs? >> I think some of them are cool and fun to watch. Alton Brown is probably my fave.

Back when it first started, did you watch ANTM? >> I think I’ve seen a season or two. I knew someone who got on it, too (Isis King).

Did you know, that there was even a Finnish version of ANTM? Miss Jay made an appearance in the first season, too. >> No, I didn’t know that, but it makes sense. There are a bunch of those shows modeled after American Idol, too, for different countries.

Are you accident prone? >> No.

Have you ever broken something really valuable? >> I accidentally broke a laptop screen once, and that was pretty damn valuable to me.

What do you see as timeless? >> ---

What is something that you own, that has sentimental value? >> Most of these plushies.

Have you ever had your own website? >> Yeah, I’ve taken stabs at it.

What’s your favourite board game? >> ---

How about your favourite card game? >> ---

What’s something that you finished recently? >> I finished watching Sparrow play through Death Stranding, lol. I’m glad it was her and not me, because I’m pretty sure that game would have made me ragequit within the first few hours, and that would have been a shame.

What’s the smallest town you recall visiting? >> I have no idea.

What’s the longest distance you’ve had to go to work or school? >> ---

Would you learn a new language, if you didn’t share one with your lover? >> Oh, like in Love Actually? I mean, I can’t imagine myself in that situation, but I thought it was cute.

Do you have friends who are constantly tagging you in challenges on FB? >> No. People who have me on facebook should know I prefer to do my actual fun socialising on here or Discord.

When it comes to chocolate, do you prefer nougat, jelly or caramel filling? >> ---

Are you more concerned about winning than just participating? >> No.

Has somebody you know taken their own life? >> No.

What is a number that has some significance to you? Why is that? >> 9. Well, there’s a lot of synchronicity.

Do you prefer onions, leeks or chives? >> I don’t think I have a preference, I’ll take all three. Onions may be the most versatile, though, so maybe those.

What’s the most adult thing you have to do every day? >> I don’t think I have to do any adult thing every day. Maybe feeding myself is an adult thing? Although teenagers and even kids do that too.

What’s the most immature thing you like to do every day? >> ---

Have you seen the movie, Clue? If so, isn’t it fab? >> No, but I’ve seen some funny gifsets that make me think it’d probably be a good time. I might give it a shot if I run into it on a streaming service one day.

Do your cheeks get flushed easily? Do you blush easily in general? >> No, I’ve never felt that feeling.

Are there any social cues you miss entirely? >> Oh, definitely.

When someone doesn’t smile back at you, what’s your first thought? >> They probably didn’t want to, and that’s okay. I don’t always want to smile at everyone who smiles at me, either, and it shouldn’t be a mark against my character just because I don’t smile at a stranger. But, you know, whatever. Any stranger that takes that much offense at me not smiling at them probably wouldn’t get along with me for very long anyway, so it’s a useful social litmus test in the end.

Is there a person who melts your heart just by looking at you? >> No. Well, maybe Can Calah sometimes.

Have you ever had tom kha kai? It’s a Thai coconut soup, and it’s amazing. We serve it at work. >> No, but I’d definitely try it.

Have you, or anyone you know ever been rude to a server? >> I’ve never had the experience of having to watch someone I’m with be rude to a server and I am so glad for that.

What’s something you’re opinionated and very vocal about? When’s the last time you had to verbally defend your stance? >> I don’t know. I don’t really defend any stance of mine, I just put it out there sometimes if I feel like rambling about it and then leave it alone. Arguing with people about shit that ultimately really don’t matter is a waste of my valuable energy.

Have you ever played BitLife? I sort of got hooked on it, it’s like sims but in text form. >> No. I quite like the graphical form of The Sims, so I’ll stick to that.

What’s something you regularly order online? >> CBD.

When’s the last time you made a penpal? >> I’ve never had one.

Do you often make friends online? >> I make a lot of acquaintances online. Friends are far fewer.

Do people ever try to get something from somebody through you? As in, they ask you to ask the person they should be asking in the first place. If that makes sense. >> No. Which is good, because I wouldn’t do it.

What do you think when you see a couple holding hands? >> Nothing???

Is there anything you’re forced to share with someone else? >> No.

What’s something stripy that you own? >> I have a black-and-royal-blue striped robe with the Ravenclaw logo on the back.

How about something polka dotted? >> Nothing.

What is something you find absolutely appalling? >> Some people’s utterly disrespectful behaviour on this website.

Do you like elevators? >> I mean, they’re fine. I don’t dislike them.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say “midnight madness”? >> Like... premieres? Or book releases? Or something like that. I have a vague association but I can’t remember exactly where it comes from.

What is a country you would never want to visit? >> ---

When you’re angry, does it ever get physical? >> Well, yeah, but not necessarily towards someone else.

What do you do, when you’re immensely happy? >> It depends on how I feel like expressing it at the time? Sometimes I don’t express it much at all, and sometimes I literally jump around the room.

What made you scream out loud the last time you screamed? >> ---

Can you hear your neighbours through the wall? >> Sometimes.

What is something that frustrates you to no end? >> Noise.

Do you wear shoes indoors? >> Absolutely not.

Who is your favourite stand-up comedian? >> Bo Burnham, Dylan Moran, and in general I’m fond of how Tiffany Haddish presents as a person and performer.

What’s the weirdest video youtube has suggested to you? >> It doesn’t usually suggest me anything weird.

What’s the funniest infomercial you’ve seen? >> ---

Is there a drink that just goes right through you? >> I don’t feel that way about any drink, no.

Is there a food item you can’t eat because it doesn’t agree with you? >> Not that I’ve encountered.

Do you playfully compete with someone about something? >> No.

Would you rather swim or run? >> I can’t swim, so my options are a little limited here.

Do you like the smell of tar? >> Sometimes, yeah.

Have you ever been to a sauna? >> No. I couldn’t last two minutes in a sauna.

Does your doorbell ring unexpectedly often? >> Not often, but sometimes people will ring multiple apartments trying to get into the building, which is fucking irritating.

Is your favourite fictional character a human, an animal or something else? >> I am my favourite fictional character. /facetious

Have you ever helped a stranger? If so, what did you do? >> I mean, sure. Just simple stuff, like picking up something they’ve dropped or letting them know they’ve left their key in the apartment door or dropping their mail off when it gets mistakenly put into my box.

Do you share hobbies with any of your friends? What do you do together? >> ---

Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? >> I don’t. Sparrow has a rainbow flag with a peace sign in the middle on her wall.

[survey--s]

245.

How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I’m a pretty fast eater for the most part - I always have been.

Do you remember how you felt on 9/11? Confused, maybe a bit frightened? We were in school when it happened and ended up watching it live on TV during French class.

What outfit makes you feel the most attractive? Cute dresses, skinny jeans and nice tops.

What do you think of people who always wear make-up? I don’t - people are free to wear whatever they want, surely? I used to wear it daily but I sweat a lot in my current job and end up all mucky so it’s just a waste. What’s a smell that absolutely makes you gag? Dustbins in the summer.

Is there a smell that gives you headaches? Yankee candles - any of them. They just smell so artificial and strong to me. I’m glad I discovered The Little Wax Box Co as their melts smell so good without the artificial-ness.

What about one that reminds you of the past? Boiled rice.

What’s your least favourite thing about summer? The humidity.

What’s your least favorite thing about the holiday season? How busy and crowded the shops get, and the expectations to have a the perfect day and time.

Other than yourself, who knows you the best? My husband. How long have you known this person? Six years. Do you have any embarrassing qualities and, if so, what are they? I don’t really find myself embarrassing and I wouldn’t want to spend time with people who felt like I embarrassed them. I can be quite clumsy though and I suppose some people could find that embarrassing.

What did you do the last time you were with friends? Went out for coffee.

Did you enjoy this activity, or not so much? Sure, it was fine.

What’s one complaint that you have about school? Because it’s designed to fit everyone, it generally doesn’t fit anyone, especially those who are neuro-diverse. Being autistic and going to a school that focused on team work and socialisation was really fucking horrible.

What do you do while you’re on campus but not in class? I used to go to the library or Starbucks.

What do you think of people who’re home-schooled? Nothing at all, really - sometimes I envy them, really. Do you know anyone who has Autism/Asperger’s syndrome? That’s me. My dad, aunt and cousin also have it.

Has anyone of the same sex ever hit on you? Yeah.

Are you open to a same-sex relationship and why or why not? Sure, I would be if I was single.

Do you ever look down on people you don’t know? No.

Have you ever dressed like or worn clothing belonging to the opposite sex? I’ve worn Mike’s hoodie and t-shirts and stuff before, yeah.

What do you think of people who litter and do you? It’s scummy, lazy and inconsiderate and no, definitely not.

When was the last time you climbed a flight of stairs? About an hour ago when I went to get a hoody from my wardrobe.

How much time do you spend online daily? Ages, but I run my business online, watch TV via the internet and play games online too.

Do you remember your first time using the internet? I remember the first time we got it at home, yeah. It was painfully slow dial-up and took FOREVER.

Do you remember life without the internet? I sure do. We didn’t get internet at home until I was 13 and it was dial-up until I was about sixteen or so.

Do you wear sunglasses regularly? No.

Would you rather have six months of extremely cold winter weather or six months of blistering, brain-frying heat? The latter.

Have you ever found yourself to be ugly? In the past, sure.

How much have you eaten today? I had some weetabix with fruit for breakfast, and then calamari and veggies for lunch.

Have you read the Twilight series and do you like it or dislike it? It was fine - I mean, it’s not meant to be highbrow literature, it’s a teenage vampire novel, lol.

Look at your nails; Do they need to be cut? No, I cut them yesterday.

Have you been on any type of online messengers today? Facebook IM and also my business messenger.

Who was the last person you called? My mum, I think.

What are you wearing on your feet? Nothing.

Can you crack your toes? Yeah, my toes crack constantly.

What are you currently dressed in? I’m wearing black leggings, a black and white floral tunic dress and a grey zip-up hoody.

What was the last thing you watched on the TV? Keeping Up Appearances.

What was the last thing you looked up on Google? I was just googling the photo that was at the top of this survey. 

What is your state’s minimum wage? The minimum wage in the UK is £9.50 an hour.

Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? No, I have the TV on at the moment.

Is your hair naturally straight? No, it’s very curly.

Do you own a pair of slippers? Yes.

Is there anyone that you’re mad at right now? Nope, not at all.

What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don’t mind as long as it’s not too overpowering.

Where are you planning to go on your next vacation? I have no plans at the moment.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t? Nope.

[my3amletterstoher]

😍😍😍

Tumblr messing up, gives you a big kiss 😘😘😘😘😘🖤, should I get is done candles ? Or should I wait.. probably can get some better candles from another store , Tumblr messing up , oooh I'll try to get us some glitter , ahh they just have the glitter glue , I'll wait to go to Walmart to get that , Tumblr messing up , we can put it in a jar 😍😍😍😍😍, like a little galaxy 😍, can assign different planets to it 😍😍😍, what you think baby? 😍, almost home 🖤, gives you a big kiss 😘😘😘😘🖤, Tumblr messing up , sexy ass lips 😍😍😍😍😍😍😩, Tumblr messing up , sexy af 😍😍😍😍👅💦💦💦, back home 😩🖤, muah muah muah 😘😘😘😘🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤,

Your breasts 😍😍😘😘😘, Tumblr messing up , so juicy baby 👅💦💦💦🐱💦🖤💦🖤🖤, kisses em 😘😘💋😘😘😘, I can't wait to play with em 😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤, Tumblr messing up ,

Tumblr messing up , scrumptious 😍😍😘😘😘😘😘🤤💋💋💋💋💋👅💦💦💦💦, you make me so wet 😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🤤👅💦💦💦💦🐱💦💦💦💦 ahhh 😍😍😍😍🤤🖤, intoxicating 😍😍😍🖤

Death crystals :

selenite: spirit communication , helps with the spirits to pass over

Quartz: helps with the transition of spirits

Sunstone: aids in spirit communication

Blue lace agate: connects to the world

Apophyllite: also aids in spirit communication

Tumblr messing up

We gotta get some more stones 😍, Tumblr messing up, also Pluto rules the underworld /death (Tumblr messing up) so that's a planet we'll definitely work with 😍😍😍😍

Another thing spirits like is tea, water, flowers , cornmeal ,honey, pomegranates (things for offerings) oh yeah I still gotta get some tin for us 😍, Tumblr messing up

Tumblr messing up , my princess ahhh 😍😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤, sexy AF 😍😍😍😍😍, got my mind blown , you masterpiece 😍😍😍😍, every piece and inch 😍😍😍😍, baby you the bomb , you the shit , so legit, Tumblr messing up , mind, body, soul, heart golden af, Tumblr messing up , you golden af in every way 😍😍😍, I love the way you look at me baby, eyes hypnotizing , make me so weak, I love when you talk that talk to me , so seductive baby

Tumblr messing up, sexy af, I love the way you move and groove 😍😍😍, acing it to perfection 😍, Tumblr messing up , ahhh you so sexy 😩😭😍😍😍😍😍😍, that body is so perfect 😍😍😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🐱💦💦💦💦👅💦💦💦💦, wraps my arms around you 😘😘😘💦😘😍😍😍😍😍💋💋💋💋💋👅💦💦💦💦💦💦, wanna have an astral session baby?

As we continue to melt inside each other 😍😍😍😍😍, dark & lovely 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍🤤🤤🤤🤤, want me to set the mood with some background music ? Maybe some Neo Soul for this Sunday

https://youtu.be/sbDRos0P1xE and some funk: https://youtu.be/2pLjyw_w__4

As we continue to lounge deep , how are doing baby? 😘😘😘😘😘🤗🖤, wraps my arms around you, I can't wait till we get a simmer (I don't know exactly what it's called lol) bit we use it to burn the herbs & oils , I'm happy and excited 😍😍😍😍, divine and sacred ✨✨✨✨✨✨, real life bad bitch 😍😍😍😍, tumblr messing up , red room we lounging 😍😍😍😍, death we seep in 😍, deepest desires and fantasies we dive in , sinsational , tappin into the cosmos 🌙, to the moon we go , spaceship riding , then we get out gliding , soaring and flying 😍😍😍😍, , Tumblr messing up , what other essential oils you think we should we get? , I meant an *astral session , I was setting the mood lol , deep breathing in and out slowly , visualizing a black floor , body getting heavy , and still , lifting out of our bodies, zooming up in the air , we see a door and we open it , we go inside and there's this glowing blue waterfall , and these very tall trees , it's inside this groovy looking cave , there's an opening at the top and the most just flowing right out from the waterfall , we sit by the rocks and laugh and talk about any and everything that comes to mind , Tumblr messing up, I grab your hand and kiss it 😘, it's kinda warm and humid , we walk around a bit , leaves snd twigs on the ground , we walk hand in hand , Tumblr messing up , swinging it as we go , we see this little place , it looks real Rustic , we walk inside it's a little shop , it has a lot of stones, herbs, incense in there , some jewelry too (Tumblr messing up) we walk around the shop and gather up some stuff 😍, after we buy some stuff we walk out of there and continue to walk around , we see a mountain off to the side (the right side) and we continue walking forward, there's more tall trees (Tumblr messing up) and through it we see a moose running by right in front of us, we see this giant bird and we get on it and flyyyy out of the cave , we see a little town and buildings 😍, we ascend higher to the clouds, feeling the air pockets , Tumblr messing up , soaring in the sky, feeling like feathers , the bird lands is back in our forest , gives you a big kiss 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🖤🖤🖤🖤, picks you up and twirls you around 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍, stroking your sexy hair 😍😍😍😍, Tumblr messing up ,I can't wait til we FaceTime 😍😍😍, I can't wait until you get here 😍😍😍ahhhh 😍😍😍😍😍😍, Tumblr messing up , I gotta make another post for the images

[shimmershae]

Picking Wildflowers (a Walking Dead Two-Shot, young Caryl).

I don't even know what this is, but it's 700+ words of something, lol. 

 And that's more than I've been able to write for my other stories so I'll take it as a win. 

 The title sucks, and the only summary I have to offer you is this:  young, in love AU Caryl.  I hope you enjoy it anyway. 

 LOL.  I don't even know if I'm going to post this anywhere else but here.  We'll see if I change my mind in the light of day. 

Another rumble of thunder, and the whole tent shakes, sways with the wind.

  Carol bites down hard on her lower lip, weaves her fingers tighter across her lower belly where her tank top has ridden up and her skin is damp with sweat.  It’s as hot as the ninth circle of Hell outside.  Has been all day.  She wouldn’t mind a little bit of rain to go with that bone-jarring thunder, but she knows it’s not a given.  It’s Georgia.  It’s summer.  Sometimes, waiting for the oppressive heat to break is like dealing with a case of blue balls.  Not that she’d necessarily, technically, know what that feels like, but the description feels right.  Maybe she should ask Daryl’s opinion.  As if he’d read her mind, Daryl shifts beside her, his bare arm brushing against her own in the briefest of touches, and though she literally feels like her bones and the rest of her bodily organs are melting from the inside out, Carol shivers.  Can’t control it really. 

  Daryl jerks his arm away, mutters out a quiet apology.  “M’sorry.” 

  He withdraws as if he’d been struck by the lightning that sizzles through the air in intermittent flashes.  Flickers so bright and so brief, Carol feels like she’s being treated to a stop and go horror-story puppet show across the quivering nylon of their claustrophobic shelter, the trees’ long, laden branches outside outstretched and waving about in some sort of spooky midnight ritual.  The thought is so fantastical and so very not her, that she smiles in the darkness, bites down harder on her lip to contain the giggle that threatens.  But it is no use.  She feels it tickle from the tips of her bare toes all the way up the curve of her spine and into every finger.  It licks back up her arms and makes her shoulders shake, and she can’t hold it in anymore.  She erupts, and Daryl’s flinty, hurt gaze softens into something unreadable in the darkness.  Shines as he lifts up on one elbow, stares down at her like she’s lost her ever-loving mind, and maybe she has.  The humidity outside hasn’t just wreaked havoc with her hair; it’s infected her blood.  She’s silly and restless and so damn horny she doesn’t care about stupid hang-ups anymore.  His or hers.  What are they fucking waiting for?  College and that first societal thrust into adulthood is just months away, and then what?  A few collect phone calls to tide them both over until she comes home on break?  Her laughter fades abruptly, and she sweeps one of her palms beneath the edge of the cotton shirt that sticks to her body.  Doesn’t stop until it rests just below her breasts.  She bites down on her lip again, soothes it immediately with her tongue, and watches Daryl swallow hard, close his eyes. 

  “Thought you…what are you…fuck.” 

  She smiles.  Because he looks like a boy, and he is.  Eighteen years old, same as her, but they’re late bloomers.  Flowers that nobody cared enough to pick until now, and this may not be the ideal getaway she pictured but that hardly matters when he’s this close to her and opening his eyes to look at her like that.  “I had something a little different in mind.” 

  His palm settles warm and solid over her ribs, his thumb rubbing idly across her knuckles.  “Don’t have to.” 

  “I know,” Carol murmurs.  And she does.  Daryl’s patient and kind.  Willing to wait forever if she asked him to, but she’s tired of waiting, and she knows he is, too.  So she lifts her other hand, lets her fingertips touch and memorize his face in the near-darkness.  The mole in the crease of his would-be smile, the soft lips that tremble with want, and the hint of scruff that tickles her skin as he nuzzles into her palm.  “Daryl?” 

  “Yeah?” 

  “C’mere.” 

  His mouth follows her lifeline to the bend of her elbow, leaves it to find the inviting curve of her neck, settles there.  His fingers tangle with hers, and he lets her move them down, down, down until they discover the button of her cutoff shorts, and his breath leaves him in a panting whine that she echoes.  “Shit.  Shit.   You sure?” 

  Her nails skate across his nape, tunnel through the damp shag of soft hair, and she feathers a kiss across the line of his jaw on the way to his ear.  “It’s pretty romantic.” 

  He pulls back and smirks at her.  “Stop.” 

  Carol grins and nips playfully at his chin.  “Make me.” 

[lionsthunder]

Weekly reflection

May 27th - June 2nd, 2018

Sunday: Finally met up with chi Ngoc after schedule syncing issues. It only took like 3 weeks to finalize a date lolol. Anyways, by the time I got there, they had already eaten and the men were well into their drinking. Chi Ngoc brought out a steamed ginger fish that she had made and stated that it was all mine to eat, since I arrived so late. Oops... but I’m not mad though; it was delicious. The men were being ridiculous as usual. They’re convinced that when a woman goes on to get a higher degree/education, that she’ll attract “higher quality” men & leave her current partner. I disagreed, but they kept upping their scenarios until it was ridiculously funny. See: Anh Phuc: What if he was rich. Would you leave your current partner? Me: No, I wouldn’t Anh Phuc: What if he was rich & you could stay at home & do nothing Me: ..... I’m listening. But I love my bf, he’s an amazing man. How can I guarantee my happiness? How do I know this new man is quality material? Anh Phuc: ok, what if he was rich, you could travel, stay home and do nothing, and he’s EXACTLY like your bf Me: Well....... like, in that case.....!  When I told my bf of this story afterwards, he was like, “I’d like a man like that too!” XD Other hilarious moments ensued with grandpa, too much to type out. But I think in the beginning, grandpa had a moment where he didn’t remember who I was... oh well. But he was also adamant that he’s healthy (which, physically, he’s in great shape for his age) & doesn’t need to take his medications. I was like, no grandpa, you take your dang medications. Him: I just take them for funsies because the doc said to. Me: !!!  Later on, my aunt leans towards me and whispers conspiratorially: he takes a handful of pills every morning; I see him do it! Hilarious. I didn’t get to interact with the young ones too much. The young ones here are a little too young to “hang” with me, but I always feel stuck in this weird in-between of hanging out with the kiddos or with the adults. I don’t quite feel like I totally fit in either group.

Tuesday: Anne and I talk on the phone at 0800... and after her original MOH wasn’t supportive enough, she upgraded her fiance’s sister to MOH. And then a friend from Germany wasn’t able to make it as bridesmaids... so guess who’s now a bridesmaids? Your gal XD It’s my first time ever being a bridesmaids & I have no clue what to do. I do have to buy an icy blue dress though and although it’s a pretty dress, I wonder how it’ll look on my skin tone :o Regardless, I’m super excited!! At this current time, I’m tracking flight prices!

Wednesday: Mo sau’s family contacted me stating that Cindy’s graduation is on Saturday. Well, guess what? I’ve already made plans for that day. I almost raged all over the place (kind of still did) but the bf stopped me and asked me to breath. He basically grounded me down lol. But I was annoyed because it’s about respect for my time. I will make time for family, no doubt, but it’s not unconditional. You have to be respectful, in general, and it’s good practice as a human being btw. Anyways, I ended up shifting my Saturday plans after she apologized. We’ll see if it happens again.

Friday: I went to go see a gynecologist for the first time.. I’ve been having Lucy problems since Vietnam & gynecologist thinks that it’s probably related to that time that I got wrecked by food poisoning :/ yeah, wouldn’t recommend getting food poisoning in another country & wrecking your internal flora. Urgghhhhh. So now, I have yeast & VB & I’m OVER IT. Bought 2 months worth of probiotics, gonna take it daily. Also got a prescription for antibiotics & anti-fungals but I’m gonna wait til after Austin to take them. The bf thinks I’m ridiculous for waiting til after but I’m not gonna be that pleb that doesn’t drink during our mini vacation!! Anyways, wish the girl some luck, she’s gonna need it :(

Saturday: I go to Cindy’s graduation. Afterwards, they wanted to eat breakfast & I was just like: uhm, no, I already have plans. So I didn’t attend. Then the adults asked if I wanted to do dinner tonight in celebration and Jerrol & I said “sure.” Anyways, we went to Honda to verify something, went home to eat, then to pick up my car, then out to meet with Amy & Kim at Truck Yard. Super chill, fun outdoors place. Houston is a new kind of hot for me, something that I have to get used to. It’s so humid that it’s literally like a sauna, quite different from the dry heat that I’m used to (and honestly, prefer). But it was a looot of fun. I don’t know what it was, but after 2.5 drinks, I was kind of buzzed. At that point, we were hungry so we lyfted to Jinya’s & nommed on delicious pork baos (that brought me closer to heaven with every bite) & great ramen. Kim & Amy updated us on their wedding planning, future apartment goals, and life in general. Amy updated us about her mom being more open after her mom’s perceived worst fear came to fruition... and it wasn’t that bad. It was really nice to hear from them & catch up. After Jinya, we walked around, Amy dropped her popsicle because it melted before she could eat it all :(, and we randomly dropped into High Fashion Home. Realllly cute things, definitely will be coming back! While here, I learned from mo sau that Cindy wasn’t going to be attending her own dinner... and I was like nani? So why would I stop my own plans to attend something where the honoree wasn’t even going to attend? So we finished up our outing and then all drove back to my house for a tour. There, we noticed a warping in our laminate in the entertainment room from the heat :/ dang Houston heat lol... so now I’m a little bit more motivated to move into the house because I’d hate to turn the AC on at 2 locations :/