#and ya know. her name is Eve. the beginning the genesis and the thing she gets to create is the punishment of mankind. original sin.

[forgetful-river]

You're allowed to ascend but only if God wants you to, and God can be a bit of an authoritarian bastard

[leevandam]

Men, It’s All Our Fault (and How We Can Fix It)... A Story Old as Time Itself

Alright, so you have to hear me out!  I keep hearing about relationships failing, including my marriage, and I wanted to investigate the patterns that I hear in order to see if there is something missing.  One of the issues that I can clearly see is that once my gameplan and my ex-wife’s gameplan didn’t match up anymore, I wasn’t the leader I needed to be in order to bring the vision back to the relationship.  Once the vision was gone, I felt it was better to release her because my ex-wife deserved a leader...and I wasn’t one at the time.  

How did I come to this conclusion? I’m glad you asked!! Building my own business has helped me develop traits and practices which constantly test my ability to lead AND communicate with others in order to accomplish the goals in sight.  That leadership is so important because when you have a vision you can share, and take full responsibility for the progress of your vision, you create an atmosphere others can really buy into.  People buying into your vision is so important because they can only help you as much as they believe in what you want and what direction you’re going.  I want to talk about a story that will show you that lack of leadership has been messing things up for THOUSANDS of years!  Let’s go all the way back to... Adam and Eve.

We’re not going to talk about the entire story here because you can read it for yourself, what I’d like to do is discuss specific events in the story that are important opportunities for Adam’s leadership could shine... if he made the right choice.

(Genesis 2:15-17) At this point, God has made man and takes him to the Garden of Eden.  Here is where Adam gets his first occupational task: to dress and keep the garden, also known as husbandry.  Even in the midst of perfection, God requires Adam to work in order to keep things in order!  God also tells Adam he can eat from any tree in the garden EXCEPT the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Adam is also warned that death is certain should he eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  So, Adam has two main responsibilities at this point: care and cultivate the garden along with its inhabitants, do not eat from the Good/Evil Knowledge tree. It’s very important to remember that only Adam was given the directive for the garden.  Eve hasn’t been created at this point.

*Your gameplan is your gameplan alone! Your purpose is something you must discover, and execute AT ALL COSTS

(Genesis 3:1-6) Right now, Adam and Eve are happily living in the garden of Eden.  Eve encounters the serpent who asks her why she doesn’t eat from every tree in the garden.  Eve tells the serpent that her and Adam may eat from every tree in the garden except the Knowledge of Good and Evil Tree, or they will die.  Adam has already shared the vision given to him by God and communicated it effectively, and it shows Eve is on board because she explains the reason without hesitation.   The serpent gives her a different perspective and tells Eve that she won’t die, but that the tree will make her wise, and she will know the difference between good and evil.  This is intriguing! Eve now has a second opinion which differs from what Adam has told her.  She also knows that God is the origin of Adam’s instruction because she says that God told them about the consequences of eating from the knowledge tree.  She’s curious, and the fruit is very attractive to her.  Keep in mind that Eve was not directly given the direction about avoiding the fruit, only Adam was.  She’s followed Adam’s gameplan until now, which is the first time she is given an alternative.  Curious to see if the serpent is telling her the truth, Eve eats the fruit.  She now understands decision making on her own after biting into the fruit that she’s been advised to not eat.  She has free choice, and she also does not die immediately.  (Does either Adam or Eve know what death is at this point?)  She takes the fruit back to Adam and presents it to him.  This is the first opportunity for Adam to exercise leadership because he was told not to eat the fruit from the Knowledge of Good and Evil tree.  Eve wasn’t.  Adam could have still refused to eat the fruit, and I gather this because the story does not speak of any deception on Eve’s part when offering Adam the fruit.  Instead, Adam eats the fruit.

*Life is going to present you with options. Some will align with your vision, others won’t.  It is still up to you to choose the options that align with your vision so you can fulfill your purpose.

(Genesis 3:8-13) God bebops along through the garden in search of Adam, and calls out to him,”Adam, where are ya homie?”  Adam and Eve are hiding in the trees because they don’t feel the same seeing God after eating the fruit God told them not to eat.  That’s interesting.  This is the first time that something feels...wrong.  Adam says,”I heard you calling God, but I was naked and afraid so I hid.”  God asks Adam two interesting questions,”Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”  He doesn’t address the fear at all, God is just trying to figure out how Adam knows about being naked.

*Adam has a chance here to accept responsibility for the entire situation and say,”I ate the fruit you told me not to eat, and I am ready for the consequences.” Remember, that only Adam was actually given the command to not eat the fruit from the Good/Evil Knowledge tree. Leaders typically share success with the team, and bear the consequences of failures alone.  This behaviors helps others to see how important the leader’s purpose is to them, and greatly improves respect they have for their leader.  

This IS NOT the route Adam takes though, he says,”God, this woman you made for me gave me the fruit and I ate it!”  Blame shift!!  That man Adam quickly tries to get out of dodge, and so God then asks,”What’s up Eve? Why did you do this?”  Eve follows Adam’s lead and moves the blame down the line,”The serpent tricked me, and I ate the fruit.”  She’s not wrong, and why in the world would she accept responsibility for this when it wasn’t her vision? It was Adam’s.

*Blaming others for your failures not only stifles your progress, but it brings your passion for your vision into purpose.  Everyone makes mistakes, this is how you learn AND teach others.  Avoid blame can also cause you to avoid a valuable lesson...

(Genesis 3:14-24)  Alright, so God deals out the punishments in reverse order.  Firstly, he makes the serpent the lowest of animals and takes its ability to crawl away from it.  The serpent now can only slither on its belly to travel.  He also instills anger between woman and the snake, so they’ll never be at peace with one another.  

Secondly, Eve (who hasn’t been named Eve yet) will no longer have an easy time bearing children. She also is given the desire to listen to her husband, and follow his lead.  

Lastly, God has some words for Adam before applying the smackdown.  “Since you listened to your wife instead of me, and ate of the tree I told you not to eat from, all bets are off.  You’re going to eat from that tree for the rest of your life.”  He tells Adam that he will now have to work hard in order produce food for his family until he dies.  He is given the grave declaration that eventually, Adam will become dust again at the end of his days. 

Interestingly enough, God declares to the angels,”So man’s like us now. He knows good and evil, but he won’t get to eat from the tree of life and live forever. I’m kicking them out of the Eden barbeque.”  The party’s now over for Adam and Eve.  God makes them some clothes, sends them on their way, and hooks up a divine security system via angelic cheribum guards WITH a flaming sword sentry.  

Men, we don’t know what would have happened if Adam stuck to his vision and did not eat the forbidden fruit, but this shows us some valuable lessons:

1. Only you can bring your vision to light.  It is your job to believe it, hold on to it, and communicate it properly so the partner and help waiting for you can be fully realized.

2. Just because your partner does something that’s outside of your vision, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are wrong.  Eve did something outside of Adam’s vision, and the big mistake was that Adam did not address it.  Worse than that, he STOPPED following his own gameplan. He failed to follow his own vision, and that’s partly why God asked Adam FIRST about the knowledge of being naked.

3. Since this is your vision/purpose, YOU are responsible for it.  The success or failure is ultimately dependant on you.  When something goes wrong, the optimal choice is to avoid finding blame, take responsibility for the setback, and figure out how to fix it.  Blaming others darkens the view forward, it clouds others’ view of your commitment to your vision, and does not help you progress. Save yourself some time, and skip it!

Most women I run into yearn for a man that’s a leader.  As you can see, we’ve had a hard time with leadership since the beginning of time.  It’s not easy, but it is definitely rewarding!  Women can only be ladies when they feel protected and know they are moving in the right direction, and that’s why leadership is SO important.  Let’s work hard, fulfill our purpose, and prepare to lead!! We’re leveling up in 2020!!