#and would rather not have to be a fucking tiktok influencer

[undead-moth]

Btw these are the people the current market is catering to. These are the people determining which books get published right now.

Do they know that reading is not mandatory? Nobody is forcing them to read?

[tamaharu]

theres a very fine line between school assignments being creative enough to be fun and being "creative" enough to make me want to put my head through a wall

[st4ringlow]

suna rintarou x reader

bestfriends to lovers. just fluff. very rushed, sorry for everything you find unpleasant. idk what else do i put here

"what do you want for your birthday?"

suna hums in contemplation, munching on the cucumber salad you were eager to try from a tiktok influencer you've seen. now that he thinks of it, his birthday is just a few days away. "dunno, if i say it are you even able to afford it?" he said, a teasing smirk grows as he watches you roll your eyes. "i'd like to know still but just so i can have more reason to hate the rich," you said nonchalantly, popping another cucumber slice into your mouth. you hear suna hums again, a temporary silence keeping you both company as the man beside you puts his thinking cap to work.

"a cartier watch,"

"jesus you're fucking high-demand,"

"lol"

"dont 'lol' me in an oral conversation," your response earns a laugh from suna, who clearly enjoys having you annoyed. you roll your eyes again, wiping the sauces on your hand. "whats up with you and your obsession with watches, geez," you ask, but it didnt really come off a question but rather a subtle insult of 'hey man youre just so weird '. suna knows that.

"oh, a man cant have a hobby now?" suna scoffs, grabbing his phone from the coffee table. "you spent thousands on each of them, rin," you said, voice bolding at the word 'thousands'. you watch him shrugs as he scrolls on his phone. "so?"

"you have 10 of them already!"

"yeah and i dont have a cartier watch yet,"

"youre crazy,"

"crazy? i was crazy once,"

"dude shut up,"

"okay,"

there was a silence filling up the room as you both stopped talking, only the sound of the tv playing in the background. "seriously though, what do you want for your birthday?" you broke the silence, tone coming out more serious this time. suna looks up from his phone, his eyes meeting yours with a hint of curiosity. "honestly? i havent really thought about it," he admits. "why? so eager to please the birthday boy, huh?" the corners of his lips lifts up, seeing you got worked up by his last remark.

"am not,"

suna chuckles softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "sure, sure," he teases, leaning back on the couch. "but seriously, i havent given it much thought. maybe... just spending time with you would be enough."

you feel your heart skip a beat at his words, a warmth spreading through your chest. "oh, come on, you can do better than that," you say, trying to keep your voice steady. "there must be something you want."

suna's gaze softens as he looks at you, a small smile playing on his lips. "well, if you insist... how about a day where we just do all our favorite things together? no distractions, just us."

suna watches as your mouth falls open, unable to spit out a word. a blush creep up on your cheeks, and he cant help but find it endearing.

"are you trying to hit on me?"

"is it not obvious enough?"

[canthelpit0]

Heartless

Pairing: Chris x reader

Wordcount: 3k+

Summary: Chris used to drink back in high school. And now being rich and in his early 20s he started back up again.

Warnings: angst (if u squint), relapse, drinking, alcohol addiction, weed, mentioned drugs, slight use of y/n, Chris pov, (slight) unreliable narrator, model!reader, no smut, kissing

(A/N: possible ooc. I don’t do drugs, so I don’t know how realistic this is.)

Chris PoV

I feel dizzy.

But I love it, I love this.

I take another sip of my solo cup looking at all the people.

Back in high school I used to drink and smoke, and I even did some drugs at some point. But I had stopped after high school, after all, I thought that I could let loose and have fun, but that after high school that I’d start working.

Having been partying and drinking for my junior and senior year, staying sober for over two days was hard, but in the end I’d managed to stay sober for a whole year.

I wasn’t even the legal age to drink yet anyway.

I started smoking occasionally though, just to hold me off from alcohol.

Somehow we managed to become famous YouTubers, moving out to LA and living our dreams.

But being in LA meant getting invited to all sorts of parties. We usually just said no and that we wouldn’t go, mainly because of my past habits. But after a while our manager started to force us to, to make connections.

However being so close to alcohol, and being offered drinks and blunts all the time was fucking with me.

I started to smoke more, going from around one cigarette every two days to five a day.

It was a common fact that I’m a smoker in our fanbase. And I wasn’t proud of it. It is disgusting. But I would rather do that, before relapse back into my drinking habits. That’s at least what I told myself.

I started to unconsciously get colder towards Nick and Matt. I couldn’t help it.

So when an influencer texted me inviting me to some party, I agreed. I snuck out of the house at night, walked around the corner to the gas station, got an Uber and went to the party.

I put my phone on silent, turned off all trackers and snap map, as well as put it on airplane mode just to be sure.

But deep down I always knew that at the end of the day, if I do manage to get home without Matt’s help, I’ll still be drunk, they’ll know I relapsed.

But at this moment, it doesn’t matter. All that matters is getting drunk tonight.

This is the second drink I’ve had tonight. And I wasn’t even close to tipsy. Maybe I should play some drinking game?

I shrug to myself scanning the crowd of people. All people with faces that look like influencers. If that even makes sense. They just look like they do TikTok.

I shrug to myself. I glance over at the window to the backyard porch, seeing the backs of a few girls sitting there. I can’t see their faces and I don’t care to.

I look down at my drink, seeing the way it’s half empty now. I huff. Bringing the cup back to my lips again, I down the whole cup.

Jake and Johnnie come up to me. I make eye contact with Jake and purse my lips.

It’s a commonly known fact that I smoke tobacco, yes. But to everyone’s knowledge I don’t drink, and have never touched a drink In My life.

Well Matt and Nick haven’t, I never said I haven’t, but I wasn’t exactly open about my past with alcohol either.

Matt and Nick said they’ve never drank, wich is true. Yet I never agreed. I did say on that podcast that I do smoke.

“Yo Chris” Jake greets dapping me up. I give him a weak smile. “Hi guys” I respond with a slight smile.

I wish I didn’t know anyone here and could just get wasted in peace. I’d get wasted at home but I literally can’t buy alcohol

“I didn’t know you drink?” Johnnie asks taking a sip of a water bottle. I don’t know if they drink, all I know is that they’re old enough to. Unlike me.

“Well.” I shrug. I’m still standing in the kitchen so I just put down my empty solo cup for the time being.

“Aren’t you underage tho?” Jake asks raising an eyebrow down at me. He shifts on his feet. He wouldn’t stop me per se, he’d just quietly disapprove.

“Yeah” I shrug. I lick my lips glancing at the half empty beer bottle on the counter. I purse my lips contemplating if I should pour my solo cup full again.

Because on one hand I want to make it seem like this is the first time I’m drinking and that I’m innocent, but then again the temptation is too strong, and before I realize it I’m pouring my cup full again.

Both the boys in front of me were saying something about not drinking too much, but I wasn’t even paying it attention.

“-Just don’t drink too much, right, you can get drunk really fast.” Jake rambles on a smile present on his lips like he thought this was an innocent joke. Not like I just relapsed or anything.

I take a sip from the beer, feeling it burn down my throat. I don’t even make a face at it, if anything I relax more when the taste hits my tongue.

“You handle your alcohol well, wow.” Jake says half joking, having finally stopped his rant.

“Anyway, where are Nick and Matt?” Johnnie asks cutting Jake off before he can start yapping again.

“Home.” I mumble taking another sip.

“Oh why’s that?” He asks back his words questioning as he tilts his head slightly.

His eyes look really dark with the dark eyeliner he’s wearing, in the dimmed room.

“They just didn’t want to come.” I shrug. I feel like I’m being too direct and rude.

It’s funny. Whenever I’m sober, I act more cheery and extroverted. But I don’t feel good. When I’m drunk or drinking it’s the opposite.

“Huh?” Jake huffs questioningly. “Well this is the first time you’re drinking right? Were you planning to, or how did that happen?”

I think he thought that maybe some person gave a drink to me and that’s how I started drinking tonight. Because god forbid I wanted to get drunk and was planning on drinking here because shady parties like this are the only places I can get my hands on alcohol.

“No,” I pause making eye contact with both of them, before my eyes meet the beer in my cup again.

“It’s not.” I shrug.

They glance at each other before looking back at me and I feel their eyes burn through my skin.

“Well, drink responsibly.” Jake says again slowly. He wasn’t going to stop me. They were all for ‘you do you’. And besides it’s not that bad anyway it’s not like I’m alcoholic or something. “And don’t drive.” He chuckled jokingly, winking.

I let a slight smile take over my face. I close my eyes and shake my head slightly, letting out a dry chuckle.

Johnnie waves back at me as they start to walk off into the crowd of people in the living room.

Time flies.

I drink some more, wander around and what not.

I’ve taken a bunch of drugs before. Asides from the obvious like coffee, cigarettes and alcohol, I also used to smoke a lot of weed. I’ve done lsd, cocaine, ecstasy. A lot of ecstasy. And Xanax.

Well I took Xanax kind of on accident in sophomore year. Matt has anxiety, and it used to be really bad so he had prescribed pills to take. And one day I thought they were pain killers and took them.

It made me feel very euphoric but calm and relaxed at the same time. That was the first big deal drug I ever took.

I was never interested in not being sober. But when junior year hit, and I started to go to parties, I tried verity’s kinds of drugs because if the high Xanax put me on was great, how would stronger drugs be.

Tho at the end of the day I did that way less than just drinking.

I look around getting bored of just standing around. I walk out to the backyard porch to get some air. There is a couch in the corner on both sides.

What’s wired about these types of parties is that there are not just influences or that type of people here, but also low ranking celebrities.

Like actors and actresses with low status, up in coming singers, low ranking models and what not.

There is a girl all alone on the couch to my right. I glance at her, scanning her features. Our eyes meet. I’m not as drunk as I was planning to be, but the night is still young so whatever.

She looks like she could be a model. But for all I know she could be a really pretty YouTuber too.

She takes the blunt from between her lips breathing out a puff of the toxic smoke. She was smiling, the weed rolled into a perfect blunt.

“Hi?” She asks. Have I been staring? I purse my lips staring back at her. I kind of forget to respond before I see her raise an eyebrow at me.

“Hey.” I respond simply shifting on my feet to turn to face her. She nods to the couch next to her and I take the hint and sit down next to her.

I take a deep breath in, closing my eyes slightly. The cold LA air feels so good against my burning hot skin.

“You smoke?” She asks offeringthe blunt to me.

I lick my lips slightly. She seems pretty faded, she must’ve been smoking for a while here now.

I look over her features,my eyes taking in every detail.

I him in response, watching the way she holds out the blunt for me. I take it and put it between my lips. As soon as I feel the weed fill up my lungs I can feel my body relax.

I slump back into the couch giving her the blunt back while I breathe out the smoke.

“What’s your name?” She asks putting the blunt back between her lips and smoking it.

“Chris.” I say simply. She hands me the blunt once again. And oh, I didn’t realize we’d be sharing now, but oh well.

“You look like a YouTuber.” She says bluntly, tilting her head at me.

We get that a lot, we look like ‘generic tiktokers’.

I shrug. I turn my face to the side and blow out the smoke before looking back at her and offering her the blunt again. “Maybe because I am?”

She chuckles dryly and takes the blunt. She puts it between her plump pink lips. “I’m y/n” she mumbles around the weed before inhaling again. I watch the way she holds the blunt between her pointer and middle finger.

The way her hands look so delicate. The way her acrylic nails look.

“And what do you do for a living?” I ask rhetorically. A slight grin threatens to spread on my face.

“I model.”

“Never thought models smoke?”

“Well I do.”

She offers me the blunt again.

We talk for even longer. We both seem to be blunt and direct people. there was no messing around and beating around the bush.

After a while silence falls upon us again. This is the second blunt we’d lit by this point. She leans over and puts that blunt out on the ashtray on the couch table.

“You’re pretty you know that.” I blurt out. She sits back raising an eyebrow. Her body is turned to me and she just looks so pretty. If I could have my way and we weren’t at some LA house party right now, I’d eat her out right here on the backyard porch.

“Thank you?” She chuckles. And god how good she sounds.

Her words sound like silk. They flow so well together and her voice 100% fits her face.

While we were talking she said she’s from New York. Wich is great. I love meeting east coast people. There are not a lot in California.

She’s apparently from manhattan. I’d been there before.

She turns to me more and tilts her head teasingly. I lean in my eyes staying locked on hers.

I can’t help the huge grin growing on my face.

“Yeah” I breathe out. By now we’re so painfully close. I put my hand on her jaw holding her in place. I can’t help it when I glance down at her lips for a second.

She does the same tho and looks down at my lips.

So why would I draw out this moment any longer? I crash my lips on hers and feel her immediately react and kiss back.

The kiss is gentle but hard at the same time.

By this point I can barely feel the alcohol in my system, only the weed. And with us kissing that’s all I’m focused on. I can’t think straight, and not because I’m cross faded.

My eyes are shut trying to feel this as much as I can. This feels like a high. Whether that be because I am actually high, or if kissing her just naturally feels good.

I tilt my head slightly in an effort to deepen the kiss, feeling the way her arms wrap around my neck and pull me closer.

My hands go to her waist holding onto her.

But suddenly, before things can escalate, I feel my phone ring.

I pull away slightly our faces still close. I groan in Annoyance. I lick my swollen lips glancing back down at y/n’s that are also plump and kiss swollen.

I pull out my phone from my back pocked seeing Matt’s caller ID.

I purse my lips and hang up the call. I crash my lips back onto y/n’s. She sighs into the kiss and kisses back just as intensely.

But my phone goes off again. We ignore it just continuing to make out.

That is until she pulls away and licks her lips. Our eyes lock again, silence falling upon us, until she breaks it.

“Whoever is calling you really wants to talk.” I purse my lips looking at my phone on the couch between us.

I pick it up with a sigh. I sit back and turn back forward. I pick up the call and it’s Nick.

“Christopher Owen.” I hear nicks pissed off firm voice through the other line.

“Turn your location on right the fuck now.”

I sigh. I take the phone from my face turning off airplane mode and turning my location back on. After I do that I put the phone back to my ear.

“We’ll be there in 5” I hear Matt say loudly. He sounds mildly pissed off too.

“Whatever.” I groan dramatically. Why do they always have to hold me off from having fun.

I was just drinking a little bit. Like I didn’t even get drunk yet.

“Go to the front door, we’re almost there.” Nick says firmly to wich I reluctantly hum an argument.

I hang up the phone after it’s silent. I roll my eyes. I let my hand drop from my face to my lap, still holding my phone. I look over at y/n who is looking at me with a curious expression, but she wasn’t going to push it.

“I gotta go.” I say simply and get up.

I don’t glance back before i open the door inside again. I walk through the crowd of people pushing my way to the front door.

★ ★ ★

I sit at the front porch steps waiting for Matt to pull up.

When he pulls up mere seconds later Nick gets out of the passenger seat walking over to me. He looks more worried than angry.

I reluctantly get up. Nick keeps holding my arm just in case, but I really wasn’t that drunk. Sure I was not walking too straight, but it wasn’t like I was at risk of falling over.

He sits me down in the passenger seat Matt watching.

Nick himself gets into the backseat.

No word is said. Matt pulls into drive and starts to drive down the road. I close my eyes awaiting the eventual questioning and rants and whatever.

“Why’d you relapse?” Matt ask, simply getting straight to the point. Ripping the band aid right off.

“Sorry” I mumble. I open my eyes and turn my head to stare out of the window.

No song is playing, it’s just eerily quiet.

“No. Why did you relapse?” Nick asks his tone more firm. “Yeah you were doing so good” Matt adds with a sigh.

I let out my own sigh at the questions.

I don’t know why I relapsed.

It’s just something about LA that is so tempting. Partying is fun, and so is being drunk.

I’m pretty sure Jake and Johnnie must’ve told them. Somehow. After all, at this party, they were the only ones I actually knew. They must’ve texted or called one of them for some reason, resulting in waking them up.

And as soon as they were awake and checked my bed, they started to call me. Makes sense, whatever.

“Chris, you know, you need to talk.” Nick sighs frustrated.

“Why did you relapse?” Matt asks again glancing over at me for a second before going right back to staring at the road. “Is it the temptations of LA, is it your mental health,” he lists off the top of his head before sighing again. “What is it?”

“Chris we need you to tell us the root cause of this.” Nick says firmly. Honestly i should play drunk and pretend I don’t understand what they want from me, but I think they can tell I’m not legit drunk, just because of the fact that they’ve seen me actually blackout drunk before.

“I don’t know.” I say simply my tone staying low. It feels like my words cut straight through the thick tension in the room.

It’s like a re-opened wound.

“What do you mean you don’t know.” Nick scoffs. He was getting worked up, and I know that. I close my eyes for a second bracing myself.

“We thought you were better.”

We- it wasn’t just Nick that thought I got better, but also Matt, mom, dad and Justin.

“I did too.”

Masterlist

A/N: I hope you guys liked this.. I hope it’s realistic enough. But yeah, this was fun to write, tho I do know that it did kind of drift from the actual theme of the song. Tell me if u guys want a part 2 and my asks and requests are open <3

‼️please don’t copy my work/idea‼️

Taglist: @muwapsturniolo , @sturnad , @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 , @evie-sturns , @me09love , @fratbrochrisgf , @spideylovin , @chrissgirlsstuff , @stunza , @whicked-hazlatwhore , @sturniooolos , @ecliphttlunar , @orangeypepsi , @klaus223492 , @char112244 , @sst7niolo , @slut4chriss , @mattsturniololoverr , @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n , @st7rnioioss , @t1llysblogs , @nonat-111 , @blahbel668 , @rockstarchr1s , @sturnsintrouble , @nayveetbhh , @tillies33ssss , @sturncakez , @strnilo , @somegirlfromasgard , @mattslovelygf , @sturnsmaeve , @sturnstvr , @lucianastrun , @jnkvivi , @jamiesturniolo

[the-fandom-is-now-my-life]

The idea that future Leo and mc having bouts of "was that past Leo just now??? Smh" is SO funny to me like

Imagine past Leo keeps coming back to take a look at his future, and it's starting to piss Leo off like ??? Man he just wants to cuddle with his wife after work, and now there's this little shit coming in to steal his cuddles AND he's treating his wife semi poorly??? (Future Leo can't fathom that it's his own damn self that's the problem LMFAO)

Future Leo starts to leave notes and passive aggressive comments on his body so past Leo can find it. Past Leo doesn't know what's going on but every time he goes to the future he keeps finding angrier and angrier notes (first it's "treat her well, you're a guest here" and "you love her more than life itself even if you don't know it yet" but after a few rounds he gets impatient and starts going nuclear "listen you little shit you make my wife uncomfortable again I'll remember this shit and shave your head in the past" "get the fuck out and leave me alone I'm gonna make you binge eat and make you fat")

Imagine future Leo being so pissed off about the "stolen" time that he insists that he gets EXTRA loving from his wife for it (it's really not that bad, he's just being dramatic again) and whoops it looks like all those extra rounds have gotten his darling wife pregnant 🥴🥴🥴

if past Leo manages to come back in the middle of a sesh with a very obviously pregnant mc he might just have a heart attack then and there pp

The diabolical streamer might be peeking into the future too much

Leo has gotten used to popping to the future for a little while. Leo is neither used to the interruptions to his life and very upset about it

Wc: 1,6K

Notes: nah but he would actually die jsjsjsj he knew he was married to her but not that he was that down bad! This was so fun to write

Cw: she/her for the reader, implications of sex and Leo comes when his future version has sex with his wife

Leo recognizes he can be hard to get along with most of the time, he is snarky, snoops around for secrets and extorts people with them, can be cruel, among many other things. But he never expected to say that he got himself fed up with his existence.

He seems to be getting on his last nerve, Leo notes at the greenish bruises on his midriff while changing clothes after bathing. He once again visited the birdpond even if his trip was a rather short one as Sho pulled him away when he (or rather whatever consciousness from his future self he had in his body) started hitting and scratching himself on the stomach.

Sitting down on his bed, he starts spending cream on the small wounds, he would hate to have any sort of scar.

“And you want to go back tomorrow after that?” Sho asks besides him, watching the reddish and purple splotches and thin red lines across his abdomen.

“Well, yeah, I want to see what number will be drawn on the influencer gala” he says, as nonchalant as ever, as if whatever damage he did to himself was nothing more than a light annoyance.

“You are crazy, dude”

“Hush, I'm learning a TikTok dance”

And as he said, that night as soon as Alan turned off his light they both sneaked off to the hedge maze centered around the birdpond.

“So, you remember what we are doing?”

“10 minutes in and I take you off. If you start hitting yourself I'm just allowed to hold you but not lift you”

“Good! If I see one more bruise and it will be all your fault, m'kay?”

“Hey, no, wait-!” But before he is able to complain he already dipped his head underwater.

Already used to the ache inside his lungs and the feeling of drowning, it doesn't take him much longer to settle on the current situation.

There is a colorful movie playing on the 65 inches mounted tv and he feels a comfortable weight on his lap. When he looks down he sees your head on his chest and legs thrown over his own, most of the weight must be from the sleeping toddler on your legs. A string of spit threatening to spill on his leg makes Leo recoil away violently, almost making you fall off the sofa and your daughter too.

Now awake and in a bad mood Emmy pouts and kicks her little legs “Daddy!” she waddles towards him so he would pick her up and lull her to sleep as always.

With the same coldness as you remember his first year version having, he spits venom at the, honestly quite messy, child “Don't even touch me, you have spit and sugar all over yourself, you are going to mess my clothes” and he barricades himself inside the bathroom, leaving you to calm down an upset toddler.

Hidden away inside the bathroom, he sits down on the bathtub rim and swipes around his phone, looking at his TikTok account and looking for videos that are around 10 years old. For once he curses being so active in social media as when he reaches his current year Sho was pulling him up to the past.

“So? Anything good?”

“Hardly anything and her kid almost slobbers all over me”

“I think that is also your child, dude”

‘stupid child’ Adult Leo growls mentally. Each and every time his past himself would rudely interrupt in his few soft domestic hours he has with his family and treat them like shit his head would be splitting down the middle with an unbearable headache, no matter what he took or if he drank water he would have to sit down for hours until it passed. Luckily his wife and daughter would comfort him while they watched tv with very low volume.

Wobbling out of the bathroom and aiming for the modular sofa he whines for any scrap of affection he believes he is entitled to “LI, Emmy, let's watch a movie, daddy doesn't feel good”

Plopping down on ‘his’ side of the sofa he just noticed Emmy was too busy getting calmed down to watch a movie with her dad.

“What happened, Emmy? Want to tell me while we watch Cinderella?” and even after attempting to bribe her with her favorite movie she just looks the other way with a pout before stomping towards her room, slamming the door.

Noticing your husband was back you smile, a part in relief of not having to take care of your toddler alone and another part of mocking delight “Emilia is very angry at you because your past self told her you weren't going to carry her because she was dirty and was going to mess your clothes”

Mortified, Leo grasps his forehead, he doesn't remember himself as one to be that mean to kids. When he feels you sit next to him and hug his shoulder he starts acting for affection and attention.

“That stupid brat is going to make my baby hate me”

“honey, that brat is you”

The attempt at reasoning with him is met with more whining. After years of marriage he learned that there wasn't anything he couldn't get from you with enough whining “my head hurts” he digs himself a space on your clavicle “I just want to sit down and enjoy myself with my family but now I can't even do that”

Combing some fly away hairs and planting a kiss on his helix honeyed words lure him closer “Emmy might not want to be close to you now but why don't we have some personal time together”

And with a devilish smile his hands dip down your back and butt while his mouth attached itself to whatever patch of skin he can get close to.

Family vlogs are something Leo found himself doing weekly, complying with his fans' demands. There is rarely anything interesting, sometimes doctor's visits, minor sickness, projects he had to say nothing about yet still hype, that sort of day to day things.

After going over a possible trip to Spain for a gaming convention he was invited to, Leo looks over the most frequent questions of the last vlog. He is so thankful that he coded a bot to group comments with the same or similar key words.

“So, for the last question… YN they are asking if you were hungry when we filmed the last video, they say you were scrolling UberEATS for a while”

You shrug while playing with your phone, not paying him much mind “well, when I was pregnant with Emmy I was pretty hungry, it is normal that I would be now too”

It is hardly one second before his usual fake smile dropped, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. In an attempt to turn off the video his hands fiddle with the button but it takes a few extra seconds than he expected. It is going to look awkward when he uploads it but why act as if he has ever cared about it and more so especially now?

The last few seconds it's possible to hear an ‘are you serious?’

His fans did go wild in the comment section after he posted

Leo_simp76: damn, he is locked down for real, let's cry simps

User_8274849: He already had a kid and is married, did you truly think he was free???

Leo_simp76: I would delulu into thinking he got babytrapped and was going to leave her!!

T.B.d.e: wasn't his child's first birthday one week ago?? How did she let him hit it?

Leo_simp76: I would let him as soon as I could stand. If anything it's weird it took that long!!

The last day before he took a break from looking into the future,as soon as he dips his head down to the water the usual annoyance in his lungs is overpowered by a different kind of ache caused by breathlessness like in Gym class.

“Leo, stop teasing~” a breathy moan begs from beneath him. Looking down he finds his hand snug against the column of your neck, lips connected to your skin just below your collarbone.

You were splayed under him, legs hugging his hips and one arm drawing figures on his biceps. Bodies close enough to notice your swollen stomach against his abdomen. Thankfully enough you had your eyes closed shut and couldn't notice the switch.

He on a technical level guessed this future version of himself and you fucked (as awkward as that image is for him) there was Emilia, or Emmy, that looked very much like him and you; when he snooped around he found condoms and there were multiple pregnancy tests in the en suite bathroom. But he had never barged in during the act.

Such a great fucking time he gets in, balls deep inside the nerd and an orgasm threatening to wreck him. Or so he would think if a wave of dopamine didn't swallow him whole in the same breath.

Quickly he leaves the water, if Sho had to say he almost looked horrified, eyes wide, breathing quickly, face red and… oh, he was just suddenly horny. Any teasing he might have wanted to do is cut short with Leo's nasty side eye but no explanations.

On the other side of the timeline there is a married couple with a sulking husband.

“Are you feeling alright?” opening your eyes you manage to see a very clearly upset Leo resting his forehead against your sternum and a hand on your breast.

“I can't even have sex with my wife without that brat ruining it”

“What? He was here just now?!”

“Once again, I didn't get to enjoy it”

“Wait a second! I'm still sensitive! ~~!”

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 4

Oops! I didn't realize this one had so many chapters done. I had been using it as my "I'm stuck on the other two stories so I work on this one to clear my head" story and I currently have five chapters backlogged. So instead of Batshit Soulmates today, you're getting two of this one. One now and one tonight.

In this chapter we have Eddie doing his research and we find out how he recognized Steve. Also Jeff&Eddie besties for life!

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3

@mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

****

The last few days in Hawkins went by in a blur. Eddie couldn’t do the research he wanted to, not without alerting everyone else what he was up to, so he focused on buying both their albums and listening to them nonstop.

“This that band you went to go see?” Wayne asked after three days of him having both albums on constant repeat. “The one you were whining about have to go to?”

Eddie sat up from where he laying on the floor with headphones on and took them off, resting them around his neck. He pulled one knee up and draped his arms around it casually.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Dustin has been gloating about it, so I would rather you didn’t add to the pile.”

Wayne crouched down so that they were eye level. “This about that secret you found out?”

Eddie opened his mouth to lie but Wayne just raised an eyebrow and he snapped his mouth shut with a click. He let out a low shuddering breath and then nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, “it’s about that.”

Wayne picked up the vinyl sleeve and looked at the cover. He studied the image a moment or two before he said, “You think that someone you know is in the band, don’t you?”

Eddie bit his lower lip and then sighed heavily. He knew he couldn’t keep it from Wayne, but he had hoped he would have been back in Cali before he realized it.

“I’m not one hundred percent sure,” he said tilting his head back, “but yeah. I think I know someone in the band.”

“You jumping to conclusions?” Wayne asked in that gruff but gentle way that was a staple of Eddie’s childhood.

Eddie looked up at Wayne and then shook his head. “I don’t know enough. Not yet.”

Wayne got to his feet with a grunt. “Good. You keep it that way. There’s probably a good reason for all that.” He waved at the vinyl sleeve. “So don’t you go pushing your friend’s buttons until you know that reason.”

Eddie nodded. “I read you loud and clear.”

Wayne ruffled Eddie’s hair and walked away, leaving Eddie with plenty of time to think.

****

Dustin was staying in Hawkins for the whole summer, so when Eddie left, he was finally on his own.

Finally able to get out of his head and do some real research. He also knew better than to do anything than listen to his own music mid-flight. Too many wandering eyes.

Any one of his fellow passengers could be some blogger, Youtuber, Tiktoker, influencer or actual fucking press.

Thankfully the flight was most empty and short.

He was met at the airport by his manager Chrissy Cunningham.

She grabbed his bag, leaving Eddie to juggle his guitar better.

“Record management has all four of you in a hotel nearby,” she told him as she stowed the bag in her trunk. “They want you sequestered this time.”

Eddie winced. It wasn’t for any music related reason, though he didn’t doubt the sequestering would help with the process.

Nope.

It was because last time Gareth and Brian went on a three day drinking bender and were too sloshed to function for at least two days after that. Almost a whole week of recording down the drain because half the band went off the rails.

“Roger that!” Eddie said with a jaunty two fingered salute.

“You can have alcohol sent to your room,” she continued as they got into the car. “But Gareth and Brian aren’t allowed. So if you share your stash, that’s on you.”

“You can count on me and Jeff not contribute to the delinquency of our bandmates,” Eddie bit out. “We were just as pissed as the label when we couldn’t get a hold of them for those five days.”

Chrissy nodded. “Fame can really do some fucked up shit to people.”

Eddie hummed his acknowledgment. “Just please tell me I’m not sharing with anyone. You know they all hate sleeping in the same room as me.”

Chrissy snorted. “Only because you stay up all hours of the night perfecting song, while they actually want to, oh I don’t know...sleep?”

Eddie cackled. He was the world’s worst insomniac when they were working on an album. The rest of the time he was a sound sleeper.

“But no,” Chrissy hummed, “you all have your own suites. With Brian and Gareth on opposite sides of the hotel so they don’t fuel each other’s vices.”

Eddie let out a deep sigh. “That’s great news.”

They went up to Eddie’s suite and he immediately got to unpacking. He couldn’t stand living out of his suitcase and didn’t know how anyone else could.

He ordered a couple of six packs of beer, his favorite vodka, and a couple of whiskys that should last him at least a couple of weeks. He stashed the beer in the suite provided mini-fridge and settled down to watch Youtube on the big screen TV.

He was just devouring everything he could on The Fallen. He started with their music videos. The one for “Kiss the Boys/Kiss the Girls” was especially sweet. He found out that the lead singer was bisexual and that the song was about finding love in whatever form that took. With a full verse on non-binary peeps despite the title.

But the videos weren’t helpful. The band themselves were rarely in them. So Eddie turned to interviews. Impromptu ones on red carpets and podcasts, as well as sit down interviews for talk shows and entertainment press.

Again the lead singer was charismatic and charming. And it was looking more and more like his theory was correct.

Then he came across the interview.

“How does Azrael see out of his mask?” the Vanity Fair interviewer asked.

The drummer pulled out another mask and handed it to Abbadon. It seemed like it was part of the shtick that the drummer never spoke.

Abbadon held up the mask to the light. “You can see that the eyes are a mesh-like material. It works like a one way mirror. You with the strong light, can’t see in, but Azrael with darkness of the mask can see out.”

Eddie hummed his interest. That was a cool trick. It meant that the drummer wouldn’t get hurt while still maintaining that anonymity.

And it appeared that the interview thought the same as they nodded along, impressed.

“What is the reason for the masks?”

Astraeus leaned forward into the mic. “Because when we first got started no one would take us seriously as ourselves?”

Just then the hotel door swung open and Eddie quickly pressed pause. He sighed with relief when he saw it was Jeff.

Jeff stopped in his tracks to stare at the screen. “Oh hey, The Fallen. They’re pretty cool.”

Eddie whipped his head around and glared at him.

“How do you know about them and I didn’t?”

Jeff laughed. “Dude, the radio embargo was you thing, not an everyone thing. They’re really good. I love their new single ‘You’. It’s really sweet.”

Eddie nodded, it was really good. It was one was of his favorites, too.

Jeff got closer to the TV. “Wait. Is this the ‘metal fans would hate us if they saw who we really are’ interview?”

Eddie nodded. “Yeah.”

“That’s such bullshit,” Jeff scoffed. “Metal fans are the most welcoming group of fans out there.”

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip and thought about Steve. And how preppy he still dressed even this far outside of high school.

“Not if they were preps,” he said softly.

That brought Jeff up short. “What now?”

“I think Abbadon is Steve.”

Jeff started laughing and laughing like he couldn’t stop. Eddie rolled his eyes and pulled up the picture he had taken of The Fallen’s lead singer. Once Jeff had gotten control of himself, Eddie showed him the picture.

“Okay...” Jeff said. “I’m not sure what this shows other than your obsession with necks.”

“Zoom in.”

Jeff rolled his eyes but did as he was told. “Okay, so what am I looking at?”

Eddie licked his lips nervously. “You see those two moles, just under his chin?”

Jeff half shrugged. “I mean, I guess.”

“Steve has moles in the exact same place,” Eddie explained. He took the phone back from Jeff and went through his IG feed. He pulled up a picture of Steve. The angle wasn’t exact, but it was close enough.

He handed it back to Jeff. “Now zoom in on the neck.”

Jeff did as he was told.

“Holy fucking shit!”

Eddie pursed his lips and chewed on the bottom one. He played with his rings and was just fidgeting.

“Dude!” Jeff cried. “We should tell someone!”

Just then Eddie’s fidgeting hit the remote and the video began playing again.

“Is there any chance of a future reveal?” the interviewer asked.

Asmodeus leaned into the mic and said, “Ask us again in ten years when we’re world famous.”

Eddie managed to get a hold of the remote to pause it again and in the resulting silence Jeff and him shared a glance.

“Fuck, dude,” Jeff said. “We can’t say shit, can we?”

Eddie shook his head. “It would be like outing a queer person before they were ready.”

Jeff came around the sofa and flopped down next to him.

“Wow,” he said with more than a little awe. “So Steve Harrington is in a metal band...” He let out a shuddering sigh. “And is good. Not just good, but damn good.”

Eddie nodded. “Is it bad that I kinda feel like I’ve been tricked?”

Jeff let out a slow breath. “Look, I’m not going to tell you how to feel, but if no one knows, that it’s not personal.”

“You mean to tell me that no one knows?” Eddie hissed, getting to feet. “Not Robin, not Dustin? Or any of the kids? Because I call bullshit!”

Jeff looked up at him. “Robin, maybe. Those two are attached at the hip. Hell, Robin could even be their slinky and sexy manager, Celeste. But Dustin, man? I wouldn’t tell that kid shit. Not if I wanted it to still be secret ten minutes later.”

Eddie fought to calm his breathing. Yeah okay. That tracked. Robin with makeup and a black wig would completely disguise her to the point that not even her own mother would recognize her if they passed on the street.

“Dustin wouldn’t–” he began but Jeff cut him off.

“This is the kid that spoiled Will’s surprise party that he was planning,” Jeff said, counting off on his fingers. “The kid that would go searching through his mom’s closets and under her bed looking for birthday and Christmas presents. The same one that announced our second album six hours before it was set to drop. I wouldn’t tell Dustin Henderson the time of day if I didn’t want everyone to know about it.”

Eddie huffed. He wanted to argue that all that was little shit. Not really that important. But then he remembered all the times where Dustin would say something out of context, something that all his friends would jump on him for, only for it to be revealed later that Dustin had spoiled some surprise. It was just that no one had realized it at the time.

This time he let out a long sigh.

“Yeah, okay,” Eddie said, sitting back down next to Jeff on the sofa. “And I know that if Steve had come to me and said he wanted to form a metal band, I would have laughed in his face.”

Jeff gave his knee a squeeze. “We all would have. So let’s do what we do best. We change the culture. We make the metal scene open to people of all walks of life, not just the freaks and outcasts. We make it safe for them to come out.”

Eddie let out a shuddering sigh. “Yeah. I could do that. We could do that.”

“Good,” Jeff said, patting Eddie’s knee. “It’s not going to be easy, but we’ve never liked easy.”

Eddie laughed as Jeff got up. “So what are you doing in my room anyway? Don’t you have your own?”

Jeff opened the mini fridge and took out a can of beer. “I forgot to order beer and I hate it warm, so I thought I’d steal one of yours.”

Eddie threw a throw pillow at him, which Jeff deftly caught and lobbed back at him.

Jeff came over and kissed his cheek. “Get out of your head and do something with all that restless energy you’ve built up with this eating away at you.”

Eddie let out a deep sigh. “Yeah, man. Thanks.”

Just as Jeff reached the door, he called out. “What would you and the boys think about inviting them to open for us on our next tour?”

Jeff grinned. “They would probably kiss you on the mouth.”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “Duly noted.”

****

Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars @papergrenade @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ��@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot

[losticaruss]

not sure if people have already posted about this but i think it's important to share. i know they've posted follow-ups on tiktok (and maybe ig), including the statement that it is OFFICIALLY happening CHRISTMAS EVE AND CHRISTMAS DAY. DECEMBER 24 AND 25. there's also an official list that includes, but isn't limited to, spotify, tiktok, ig, ANY meta products, hulu, netflix, and the like. genuinely this is SOSOSO important

[ID: a tiktok from @/skyfisherforskyfish.

audio begins:

"i've moved on from feeling spiteful. im officially feeling... diabolical. the next big thing we can do to harm big business- after you've cancelled your amazon subscription, after you've cancelled your audible, after you've moved your money out of big banks and into local credit union, after you've figured out a way to buy local- the next big thing, ladies and gentlemen, is the data strike of Christmas 2024. why would a data strike be effective? because data is the most valuable asset on earth, right after human suffering from denying people who need healthcare, healthcare. that is actually the reason behind the tiktok ban. it's not about national security, it's about the data war that's happening between the united states and china. Christmas is a very pivotal moment, because all of the gifts are purchased, and now companies get to observe what you do with the money and gifts you've been given. your data is critically important right now for training their models and training their campaigns going forward on how consumer behavior is influenced by the holidays. that's not the only thing. following the shooting of the united healthcare ceo, the surveillance state has absolutely exploded in popularity- as you can see, many cities particularly los angeles (where i live) expanding their budgets for next year to use video surveillance on its populations. it's horrifying! it's dystopian! it's entirely preventable. the data strike is one to two days where we simply get off social media. you do not give them a second of your time for advertising dollars, for data mining, for any of it. this would not only kneecap the marketing budgets of big businesses, which have already been spent, they've already been expended, you will only ruin their r.o.i.. you will also prevent them from furthering the expansion of the surveillance state. you could directly say fuck you to zuckerberg and musk easily, with no pain. further, it's a great opportunity because during the holidays, we're pretty busy anyways, and you're there with family. and i know you're like 'oh, i don't want to hang out with my family, i just want to tap out!' challenge yourself. even if you're not having a good time, just have a time, rather than being completely numbed out by your screen, don't you think? one day won't kill you. two days would be a superhuman feat and i would be so impressed, i'd be so proud of you. you could also save on carbon emissions, because it requires a lot of energy to run this app (tiktok) and all of its servers, and every other social media. i have already seen such an enormous amount of collective action taken- people cancelling their amazon subscriptions, people taking their money out of big banks, going to local credit unions, decentralizing their purchases, starting small, local community gardens, going back to their libraries- people are taking action, and just because you don't see it online does not mean it's not happening. in fact, i want you to be absolutely aware that the reason you're not seeing it online is because it is happening. together, we can do the data strike of Christmas 2024. please share this video, please encourage your friends and family to take this shit seriously because the effect and the impact we could have on the market, on the surveillance state, and on the environment is legitimately enormous, and i believe in us. thank you for watching, i know this video is long, i know you've got shit to do. have fun scrolling. talk to later, bye."

/end ID]

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

You know. Everyone praising the assassination of Brian Thompson has really missed the big picture. They think they have a hit list and popular support. But all I see is the upward demand for bodyguards and private contractors. Men with real trigger time, body armor, and firearms that won't jam. Some who might be licensed to carry more than pistols.

Oh not just that. "The Rich" as these people put it will use this as a means to push for more separation from them and "The Rabble" and will use Private Security as their own private military more than they have in the past, to gun down would be morons. Hell, we might get lucky and have a bunch of innocents get murked because of shifty movement around "The Rich". :D <(This is me being a sarcastic asshole while admitting the fucking truth) Also can't wait for them to push for more gun regulation which will fuck us all. But then that's probably the point right? For them to push this class warfare bullshit until the rich DO in fact decided they want to fuck us?

And look, THERE ARE rich assholes in the world. But that's not the point. Class warfare is a rich problem and a leftist problem. It's always been that way. Moderates? Right wingers? Republicans? ACTUAL libertarians? They take issue with moral, ethical, and foundational issues with people that are "Rich". They don't hate them because they are rich. They hate people like Bill Gates for acting like a self important pampas shit pushing for depopulation. NOT because he has money. Leftist WANT a full scale "Class War" because they want to eat the rich. Not because they don't want people to BE rich. No. Because THEY want to be rich. And what's more, this man? He was a figure head at best. And was actually not that rich in the grand scheme of things. SOCCER PLAYERS make more. Some Football Players make more. Actors make a FUCK TON more. The LIBERAL darling "Taylor Swift" makes more. By a LARGE MARGIN.

However, because this man happened to work for a company that does insurance, his death is being celebrated. When his influence was likely NOT very high. Add to that the fact Insurance companies can't pay out what they would need to anyways because they charge LESS, MUCH MUCH LESS, than they need to pay off hospitals, because HOSPITALS charge a metric fuck ton. As do Pharma agencies. As do private doctors in a lot of cases. When they don't have to or need to, but the market is owned by wouldn't you know it, FUCKING LEFTISTS. Since they own Academia. We saw it with the Covid-Tiktoks where rather than helping people in line at the hospital, they took time to film a stupid fucking song and dance. It's also worth noting how many leftists are rich themselves.

They can eat themselves. I don't care. But to cheer for cold blooded murder........Soulless fucking monsters. He wasn't even in a realm of "Evil Dictator" or "Mass Murderer" despite some people that would claim by not bankrupting his company only being able to serve maybe 76% of claims before putting UNTOLD NUMBERS out of work, tanking the insurance market in the process and probably hitting the economy like a truck, that he's a killer.

*Me to these people*

[fireater]

omg ur so fucking real like nobody told that lady to go fuck 100 men😭 but ppl look for any and every opportunity to baby white women it annoys me so bad. like u said rather than focusing on the women that are actually on the streets and forced/coerced into sex work or are trafficked these annoying ass bitches wanna infantilize this OF girl. fully writing fanfic in their head about how she must have some sort of childhood trauma or some shit causing this behavior. like maybe she’s not traumatized and is fully cognizant of the spectacle fucking 100 men in a day would cause and she wants to make bank so she did it🤷🏽‍♀️ instead of posting TikToks with borderline tears in their eyes about how this lady was “just a girl with hopes and dreams once” they should put their attention towards the actual little girls that are being trafficked and impoverished young women coerced into doing sex work !! open ur purse and donate to women’s shelters and organizations !! volunteer !! literally anything besides babying this grown woman who very much so knows what she’s doing.

also side note but how long do u think it’ll be before she hits some right wing grift, denouncing being a sex worker and somehow blaming woke feminism for why she did all that? 😭 i’ve seen so many do that i wouldn’t be surprised if she eventually did too lmao

the whole she was a girl with dreams once :( thing annoys me so bad?? bc so was every other woman. so many women give up their dreams all the time everyday. why do they only feel sympathy for rich white women.. I don’t know!! like these people have such base level ideas of supposed feminism and they never make an effort to help out or do anything they just sit in their rooms and make bad poetry about how white woman sad in her house and .. honestly bc she’s British I feel like she won’t fall into that LMFAO simply bc the conservatives here are different to American ones . but I see it w American influencers all the time it’s crazy

[princeblue]

I'm just throwing my bone in,but I think Sanemi is naturally a "yandere" person per say. After the death of his family,he had promised to never get close to anyone but Masachika comes back like a boomerang and manages to befriend him. Now,this isn't the worst of it,but Sanemi does probably get unconsciously possessive and terrifed but he's like "Hes nineteen,and older so idgaf" Then Masachika dies and the "getting obsessively attached and derranged" problem increases tenfold,concluding to the cluster fuck that is Sanemi today. Idk,maybe it's my personal opinion but I do definitely think Masachika is an important person in his life,definitely more than Kyogo(I'm looking at you people on tiktok). Maybe I'm literally overthinking it,but canonly the reason why Sanemi pushes Genya away is because he loves him and wants him to live a happy life. Which ties into his thoughts of "virtuous humans die"(Genya living a happy life is impossible just like any demon slayer character being "pure" is).

I totally 100% agree that Sanemi is naturally a yandere type individual, just like I agree that Masachika & Kanae play a role in his ideals by, exactly like you said, “virtuous humans die” / the good die young. I’ve always just disagreed they meant as much to him PERSONALLY as much people say they did.

For Masachika im a little more lenient, he was Sanemis friend, he did try his best to help Sanemi physically and mentally, although he failed. It’s still quite interesting to me that Sanemi went back to his grave to speak about Genya joining the corps and already knowing what Masachika would say about it.

Personally, I don’t think Sanemi would be too yandere-like over Masachika, protective? Absolutely. But there’s a clear line between protective and possessive. And I think Masachika was viewed more as a mentor/sibling figure rather than someone Sanemi would murder for.

As for Genya though, i absolutely will die on the hill Sanemi has (platonic) yandere tendencies for his little brother. He’s already aware that this career destructive and dangerous, something Sanemi is perfectly fit for, but Genya is too precious/soft for it. Hence pushing him away.

The biggest point in “Yandere Sanemi” for me is the thing I’ve literally always repeated, BUT. It’s the fact that Sanemi was willing to injure Genya beyond repair to keep him from the Demon Slayers, so I really don’t think killing another person that endangers him/is not good enough for him/takes him away from Sanemi is too far fetched.

And this is kind of all over the place so I do apologize for that, but I think he would have been like this even before the deaths of his family/masachika. They did influence it, A LOT. But in his little section of the novel it’s stated Genya’s birth gave him purpose, knowing he’d end up being a protector of this little boy/those around him. He would have always been extra affectionate, clingy, and possessive as kids. And to me that ties into him seeing Genya as an “equal” to take care of their younger siblings, yeah Genya is working, but at least he’s working with Sanemi so Sanemi can keep a closer eye on him.

But since he is canonically, and sadly, not a yandere character. He didn’t go back for Genya and keep him close by, which is why one of my favorite aus ever is “spoiled Genya of the Wind Estate” uwu.

But yeah I really love to talk about yandere Sanemi and his yandere tendencies, it’s one of my favorite headcanons and au’s of him and something I will never not believe in. Hehe.

[cheolism-archive]

my hatred for taylor swift stemmed from when she was SILENT during the 2016 election but decided to say something about it maybe two years later at an award show. with as much influence that she has she should be one of the first people to speak out about anything. her silence is deafening and people need to stop praising her for not even doing the bare minimum

omg i did not?? know about this. so i come from a family that LOVES taylor swift. my mom and sibling actually just went to watch her concert movie. but i have. such a problem w taylor swift that begun around the same time because someone pointed out that she is the picture of "white woman feminism" and that she only supports things once she sees that its the popular opinion. and i've noticed her friend circle is all very much white and its like -- you're a "feminist" in hollywood and you are literally only ever around white people? and i also think that celebs can have one of two paths: keeping silent about social issues or speaking about it. and she CAN'T proclaim herself to be feminist and shit and just not speak on things. that's not what feminism is. someone on tiktok said swift uses feminism to say "hating on me, a woman, isn't very feminist of you" and tbh i think that's the whole issue with swift and her fandom. they refuse criticism in the name of "feminism". swift has an incredible platform and she should be using it to spread awareness about important issues, such as the genocide in palestine or abortion rights, and if she was genuinely the feminist she claims she is she would be. she would be doing it right fucking now instead of biting her tongue only to bring it up when the conversation and murder is years old. and she?? fucking JUST dated a man known for saying slurs??? idc if it was just for publicity or they were genuinely interested in one another, that says a fuck ton about who she is. idc if you like her music or not, i genuinely think that she, as a person, is sly and cunning and is playing games to ensure her survival in hollywood rather than use her platform for good. if she spoke out for feminist beliefs, like abortion and pro-palestine and basic rights for disabled folk, she would push the subjects into the light in front of a massive fanbase and i fucking resent that she doesn't do that.

also. "'cause hate never turned anyone less gay" is in one of her title tracks and everyone acts like it's some fucking coming of christ but what sort of liberation comes from taylor swift, a straight white woman in the 1%, having one throw-away line about being gay. she's using it like her support is a fucking sparkler she can throw away as soon as the song's over.

[goth-oatmilk-latte]

tiktok is good for a lot of things but what i really hate is the tiktokers who are like wieiad as a person healing my relationship with food BECAUSE many of these people have access to nutritionists, which they dont mention. so yeah, of course your fOoD hEaLiNg JoUrNeY is going so so well becky, you can afford the medical professionals to help, and you have the money to make your $50 smoothie bowl every morning. you have the income to support you $200/session personal trainer. you can afford fresh produce and to put together nutritionally complete meals. a lot of people cannot afford any of that. thats why some of us arent healing. we cant even afford to start.

likewise with ppl who are grieving and post what theyre doing to help themselves. self help is great dont get me wrong, but of course youre gonna feel 10000x better when you can afford to have your basic needs met AND go out for retail therapy, or some form of spending to help your process every day. everyone would much rather cry in a nice, clean home where they can afford to spend $200 redoing their space on a whim than to cry while stressed out over which bill is getting paid and how are they gonna put gas in their car. like no shit your grief healing is going great, mine would also be fan-fucking-tastic if i could afford to hire someone else to clean my house or afford to do up my garden or if i had money to go out to eat with friends like????

none of this is realistic for the avg person but the way tiktoker influencers are they make you almost feel bad for not being able to do stuff like that idk if its just me tho. but it pisses me off lol like i dont think these ppl realise the unreal privilege they have.

[talkingbl]

Things I Want to See in More BLs (Mar 2024 ver.)

This is very Thai BL focused. Here's what I want to see more of this year:

Good stories from the companies with the money for good production. I feel like 2023 was kind of a slow year for competent storytelling + excellent production quality. My BL of 2023 was probably I Feel You Linger In The Air because it was one of the only ones to combine both decently enough.

I'm not sure how to label this yet but I'd like more reality shows like DMD's Friendship The Reality. I've not finished it yet but the concept is really intriguing to me. These types of shows can result in a couple of interesting outcomes. Either:

People get to see how the pairings are made, so it takes away the urge to project a real relationship onto the actors;

Newer actors get to showcase their skills and possibly gain some initial support for their early projects;

We get to really vet the chemistry between actors before they're placed in a pairing so that fans are not as weary about potential re-pairings (like the case with Net and James);

We get to just get to know the people we're supporting by watching our faves develop into their own; or, perhaps most importantly,

We get to see and maybe even comment on what goes into their media training (since some actors seem to have a problem with being sexist, racist, homophobic, etc.).

These types of shows really give us insight into the training and (possibly even a bit of the personalities) of these actors in a way that I think facilitates a more camera-ready talent base.

Fewer tiktok influencers and more seasoned actors. If we could get more professional actors like Nonkul, and fewer 18 year old influencers who actually want to be singers or kpop idols, that would be great.

More actually good OSTs. MSP's OST was one of the best in any Thai/Japanese/Korean drama I've ever watched??? And it was all cast-made. I'm not saying everything needs to be made by the cast, but it needs to sound good enough to be ear-wormy.

Actually good horror BLs. I think to pull these off, we need more natural actors going into it, higher production quality (ESPECIALLY audio quality, like 75% of good horror is sound design), and better execution on concepts.

For example, DFF's teaser is what DFF should have actually been… Like, it was good when it looked like a scary gang of gays murdering a classmate and being creepily gleeful about it. And the end product is still kind of that but the execution of the story became fucked for me in like Episode 2. I also don't think it balanced the romance aspects of the show well enough with the horror aspects in the beginning to capture my interest. Horror is very dear to my heart--one of my first loves in film. Good horror it should be shocking. The villains should repulse you. Here, the main crew of guys were billed as the villains in the teaser and yet from episode one, I was not that interested in their personalities, relationships, backstories, etc. It was like there was too much plot and not enough character. The mystery wasn't as captivating as I think the showrunner thought it was and the violence didn't feel dire.

Personally, I think IFYLTA was a better horror BL than DFF lol.

Fewer Singer-first Actors. Forget about what I said about MSP's OST for a second. I am so tired of seeing decent acting talent slowly get phased out of acting to become idol singers. It's okay if it's like Nunew who, in my opinion, is a better singer than actor. But when it's someone like Fourth with genuine acting talent that is becoming ever more scarce, it's always sad to them fall to the dark side lmao. This is something I even noticed with DMD's Friendship the Reality. Like 90% of the guys wanted to be singers and were using acting (particularly in a BL) as a stepping stone measure. And I know that in that case they were accepted into DMD as "artists" rather than "actors", but the end goal of that show was to star in a BL and like most of them didn't want to do that... We need more thespians in this genre.

More visual diversity in ML roles. This one is particularly for Thailand where they will quickly cast a darker-skinned actor in a villain role but not an ML. I'd like to see better representation in ML roles not only because I think it's important for people to realize darker-skinned people can be just as handsome/beautiful, talented, and versatile as their pale-skinned counterparts but also because many people simply want to see this (and you can get more people interested in the genre, which means more growth in the industry). So, for purely capitalistic reasons, it even makes sense haha

[3spurrrr]

Are they iPad kids? But I don't think I answer the question properly or consistently lmaoo

Yuuji: yes. Minecraft let's Plays all day. Is addicted to those tiktok reddit stories with the game play background.

Megumi: ....yes but watches things like Vsauce, lemmino, occasional reddit ice berg stories etc. Video essays, political commentary all that jazz

I mean... come on. His dad was deadbeat toji u think he didn't just give him an iPad as a kid to shut him up. Why do you think megumi is so tense all the time bro found 4chan and subreddits way too early...

Secretly loves those reddit stories too but thinks ALL of them are fake lmao

Nobara: she would much rather call a friend and talk and stuff. Maybe will put on some reality TV or a mukbang cooking videos or those jungle building a house out of mud vids

Gojo: YES ahhahahahahahahaha

I feel like he lives on twitch and I can see him being a gamer in his off time. He would much rather have someone around tho to talk to. Would love to sit around and gossip about dumb shit.

Would love storytime vids, also those mud house wilderness vids. Hates interviews and anything megumi watches lowkey

If u r dating him check his twitch for half naked gamer girlies :/

Geto: doesn't give a fuck tbh. Can sit down in silence, with a friend, with any type of yt video as long as he gets to eat the food he is good lmao. I think he likes music and just has music playing in his house a lot and eats while thinking about his life and his fucked up philosophies

Shoko: def a nobara type too. Heavy on the mukbang cooking vids. Occasional megumi educational video influence. Loves trashy reality TV for some reason but she is wasted all the time so it checks out lol

Yaga: yes... hhahaha I can see him loving Gordon Ramsey or those village cooking videos. Watches a bunch of diy videos on how to make plushies and some more videos on panda related things :)

Nanami: no. He reads the newspaper and just relaxes like meditating or something. I don't think he touches his phone for entertainment. Reads the news and some other articles on cultural shit and that's it. Gives major dad vibes. Lmaooo imagine him being like a top player in candy crush hahahahahahha

Utahime: bestie eats in silence with a book on her lap or gojo randomly talking shit in her ear

Doesn't touch digital things cuz she knows a lot of it is cancerous

Maki: kind of. She is obsessed with different health videos on how to get your body strong and martial arts, kinesthetics videos. I can't see her being obsessed with watching things tho. She is so busy with training and probably opts for quick meals or meals where she is with friends. Girlie is mindful and whatever

Panda: hahaha yeah hahaha But I feel like he loves his phone, is def a huge gamer

I think he might be a mix of everyone on this list

I can see him consuming all kinds of media, even unboxings and asmr videos and literally anything hahaha

Inumaki: yesssssssss definition of iPad kid lmao. He is very much like yuuji and gojo

Gojo, panda, yuuji and him play games on voice chat A LOT

Noritoshi: no. Look at him bro... he barely opens his eyes

Mai: is constantly on gossiping websites and spreads misinformation on those sites lmaooo

Yuutaaa: mf eats with his demon gf and just talks to it randomly. Watches a lot of movies and shows soooo probably an iPad kid? He is way too traumatized to not be hahahaha

Mahito: watches human rights violating porn all the time and lives on the dark web

Sukuna: honestly, he is an iPad kid in a non modern way. Would want someone to be infront of him and perform for him. Like singing, dancing etc. Even though it's sukuna I think mans is incredibly cultured and has a taste for those finer things

Choso: no. He probably just talk to his brothers all the time cuz they are inseparable. Also he has so much in his head to think about kinda like geto. If you suggested something to watch or showed him the internet he'd enjoy and find some niche. I think he is really into music and would turn into a micro celeb music critic

Toji: nah, his phone is blowing up with new job offers and he goes home to just sleep for a sec or have hot sex with a chic for money cuz bbygirl is just sometimes a whore.

If he did have the time to be online he'd be a slight mahito and then go and kill people who he thought took it too far. Other than that maybe also obsessed with half naked gamer girls on twitch and building mud houses videos

Todo: YES. He watches that idol girl all day everyday and God forbid he misses an episode

------

I don't think any of them like those crime podcasts and videos cuz it's death around them all the time and most of the mystery deaths in jjk world is probably because of those curses and what they do for a living

[simpforcatsystem]

Autistic High Empathy Masking Theory

Ok OK ok So I just saw a tiktok a few hours ago about the tendency of high-empathy autistic individuals having problems with others trauma-dumping on them, inappropriately given the social context, as in strangers or new acquaintances, or coworkers who are not on the level of being friends with. I have experienced this myself and tbh it has fucked up my gage for what's normal human interaction and how to build friendships.

I think I have an idea for why it happens, though.

Ok So short version: High empathy folks mask in a way that gears them towards social acceptance, due to a number of things, but the mask is imperfect and signals a deeper level of social connection due to the empathy.

Main points this theory relies on: 1. The idea that high empathy folks tend to have a specific, consistent, different masking style than low empathy folks. 2. The commonly accepted theory that masking is used for social acceptance and safety. 3. The commonly accepted theory that the mirror neuron system contains abnormalities in autistic individuals(its been seen in certain studies, but I always have doubts on their sampling) AND the idea that that said abnormalities differ between autistic people and empathy levels (not spoken about to my knowledge, hence my doubt abt previous studies).

So the video previously referenced talked about the discussion in the community about low empathy autistics and their resulting difficulties in making and keeping relationships, especially friendships.

My theory, if correct, would simply explain this as the mirror neuron system not influencing the body language and behavior of the person, and possibly not even their cognition. This would result in less socially-endearing behavior as part of the social mask, subconsciously expressing a social cue of "I have no obligation to be safe for you" (social cues are a whole thing and I've studied them a lot to try to figure them out but I think I'm pretty close; the basics of it boil down to situational pack bonds, camaraderie, and signals for safety on moving to a more intimate level of relationships, such as friends, good friends, and people you can be vulnerable with. The social cues I'll be talking about are safety and pack-bond signaling ones, because they're most relevant in the discussion for acquaintances)

The result of this social cue is that the person spoken to is less willing to be vulnerable and create less of a foundation for a friendship or otherwise to be built on. (Neurotypicals, like autistics, need a foundation of safety, but unlike autistics, they don't necessarily build it by qualities, they build it by consistency and safety previously shown in the relationship) 

Disclaimer: There are obviously many factors that could go into this, namely the early trauma surrounding human interaction creating an avoidant attachment style and activating danger signals in low-empathy folks to subconsciously prioritize their emotions over others. This could lead to further disuse of the mirror neuron complex, I really haven't studied this enough and I'm not sure I will be able to. 

Anywho:

If this is true, then the opposite could be said for high-empathy autistics, in that our empathy is due to an overactive mirror neuron network, and that that same network influences our masking style because of the perceived rejection we received when our behavior caused others to feel rejected, early in the masking process. That rejection shapes our social cues to give out accepting ones no matter what is aimed at us, so the relationship level(acceptable amount of vulnerability) in the other person's mind deepens rather quickly, because every subconscious feeler they put out to see where the social line is is met with an inviting "You're good! Come on in! You're safe here." social cue, which is quite often latched onto by other traumatized individuals, but also a good portion of the general population. (hence, the trauma dumping)

People crave connection, and our nervous systems are telling them they can find it here. 

I might post separately how this can create a specific type of attachment style and dissociative aspect to the autistic trauma in individuals, but for now I'll leave it at the fact that this reward circuit, which would also be developed in early childhood, tells our brains that this version of ourselves is accepted and other versions aren't. So therefore, we need to spend far more time working on this to gain social acceptance, because in the past, evolutionarily, social acceptance was the literal biggest factor that made or broke whether we survived. 

That could easily play into the gifted kid syndrome as well as many of the other common high-masking autistic experiences. 

As you can tell, I'm totally normal and cool about this. But uh if you wanna ask me questions I'd be happy to answer them :)

[gwss200group19]

How Can We Combine These Concepts to See Their Effects?

Although these are all hypothetical characters, there is significant data that backs up the concept that TikTok of these topics affect young people’s minds through different lenses.

A young boy watches a video on TikTok where Andrew Tate says, “A woman can’t go around fucking people and pretend it's the same as a man running around fucking people. It’s absolutely not the same. A man can only cheat if he loves someone else. If I have a woman I truly love, and I go out and fuck, and I come back to her, and I don’t care about her (the girl he had intercourse with who is not his partner), and I only love my girl. That’s not cheating. That’s exercise. If she even talks to a dude, that's cheating because females are emotionally invested. ” (Rapid Hustlers, 2022). This young boy may think, “Oh, he has a good point. The comments all agree,” because he watched the whole video, more of these videos will appear. Being exposed to this content, he is being molded to always think, “I get that,” or “I agree.” He may begin to show aggressive behavior towards women as he grows up due to this (James, 2023). Perhaps a girl he’s dating accuses him of cheating, and he argues it isn’t because of the content he surrounds himself with. He begins to only think of women in gendered roles. Rather than having people in his life who may tell him otherwise, he only knows people who watch the same content (Shea 2023, 15:53-16:32). He’s stuck in an echo chamber of this sexist and misogynist idea that his TikTok created because of the way the algorithm works. 

Tiktok from @tate..aikido

Perhaps that idea is too far out, and you may be thinking, “Well, that’s so extreme that never happens.” we can also take the idea more mildly.

This time, a boy or a girl watches multiple videos about video games. The first video is from a popular first-person shooter known as Call of Duty, where the people in the clip are making fun of a girl, and all of the guys are laughing (Zimmerman, 2023). The guy laughs alongside the video; he then begins to play the game, makes fun of other girls, or, more often, simply laughs and doesn’t stop it from happening (Intenta). The girl thinks the game is for guys. That she can’t play it. The guys don’t even want me to play. She thinks “first-person shooters are for guys.” Both people, in some way, think that these war games are for boys (Healey, 2016). Now that video game content is on their FYP. They see videos where attractive girls are playing games like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing both games are often considered “cozy” and “girly” (Tonya, 2023). The girl thinks, “That’s a girl I could play that game.” Meanwhile, the guy thinks, “Hm, that attractive girl is playing that game; must mean it’s for girls.” While these people may not be thinking these directly, as they continue to watch more content fortifying this idea, their subconscious is being influenced by TikToks.

Tiktok from @cozysimespy with it's hastags that show how cozy games are related to girls often.

Maybe you can’t imagine this happening with a girl. No girl would watch this content that’s so sexist. Maybe you’re a girl who could not imagine watching Andrew Tate or you simply aren’t interested in gaming. However, the point is to show that extreme sexist content isn’t the only content that shows sexist values. Take this example.

A girl downloads TikTok and watches Charli D'Amelio lip-syncing to a video with a beauty filter on. She sees Charli as pretty, thin, and with facial features she could never have. She swipes and continues to watch more and more videos of girls with perfect skin from filters, where the comments have boys saying she’s pretty because of her looks. She begins to believe that she is doing something wrong; her skin has bumps, and she doesn’t know how to look better to get comments like that. She continues to scroll daily; she sees trends like the pigtail theory and thinks, maybe if I wear my hair like that, people will like me. Perhaps while watching, she comes across videos of “that girl,” a concept where girls engage in self-care and betterment but often incorporate a certain fashion style (Aesthetic, 2023).  To fit into the “that girl” aesthetic, she buys products so that people will see her as “that girl.” Without realizing it, she’s fallen into acting and dressing in a gendered stereotype and seeing herself through a tailored misogynist lens, all from TikTok’s algorithm. 

Tiktok from selfcareelovebyl showing the "That Girl" aesthetic

SOURCES

Adile (@misshoxha). Tiktok, November 9, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8aT8Dyu/

𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 (@selfcareelovebyl). Tiktok, July 5, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/@selfcareelovebyl/video/7252443187858509062?_r=1&_t=8i76HWHm8HW

Charli (@charlix_rares_). Tiktok, June 12, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8mYbgdt/

“Gender Stereotypes and Discrimination in Gaming.” INTENTA, September 15, 2022. https://intenta.digital/perspectives/gaming-gender-stereotypes-discrimination/.

Healey, Gareth. “Proving Grounds: Performing Masculine Identities in Call of Duty: Black Ops.” Game Studies 16, no. 2 (December 2016). https://gamestudies.org/1602/articles/healey.

Ionescu, Claudiu Gabriel, and Monica Licu. “Are TikTok Algorithms Influencing Users’ Self-Perceived Identities and Personal Values? A Mini Review.” Social Sciences 12, no. 8 (2023): 465. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci12080465.

James, Will. “Andrew Tate: A Case Study on the Effects of Online Influencers on Students’ Education.” Define the Line, February 20, 2023. https://www.mcgill.ca/definetheline/article/andrew-tate-case-study-effects-online-influencers-students-education.

Matt Shea, “The Dangerous Rise of Andrew Tate,” VICE, YouTube, Jan 13, 2023, documentary, 15:53-16:32, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj1JSlKzHtc&t=949s.

Rapid Hustlers (@tate..aikido). TikTok, May 24, 2022. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8acrXNA/.

Tonya (@cozysimespy). TikTok, May 30, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8mYFpY5/

Zimmerman, Jenna (@jenna_zimmerman). Tiktok, August 30, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/@jenna_zimmerman/video/7273237915218562346?_r=1&_t=8i75HMv5Dpq