#and would have fought a bitch with his broken busted hands to protect those kids

[himbeaux-on-ice]

suspicions that 2021 playoff shea weber was basically being held together with duct tape and prayers by the end of the run confirmed

[demibats]

make a mess. [bucky barnes]

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Run-through: The love and heartbreak of knowing the Winter Soldier

Word Count: 1.5k

Themes: ANGST ANGST ANGST, smut

Bucky Barnes, the infamous Winter Soldier, was the love of your life. Over the span of the three years you were together, you came to realize that. You would’ve killed or died for him and he would’ve done the same. The magnetic attraction was evident from the moment you met him. Those memories still were as clear as the day it happened. 

“This is James,” Steve had said, introducing you to the metal-armed man, “This is Y/N.” Your eyes met and it was like you saw the future you wanted with him so badly in that millisecond.

He playfully punched Steve’s arm with the metal fist before outstretching his flesh hand to shake yours. Once he had your hand in his, he surprised you by bringing your knuckles up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on them.

“It’s nice to meet you.” You said to him, blushing like mad.

He looked up at you, “The pleasure is all mine.”

The pain was still there and all too real. The heavy rocks that existed in your chest never left and you knew they’d stay there. You put on a mask, of course, to hide your pain from the heroes around you. Almost all of them saw through it, but they wouldn’t bring it up in fear of upsetting you or making things more awkward than they already were.

You assisted the Avengers in a way that went overlooked to most. You were a behind-the-scenes agent, compiling data, updating mission reports and doing much research on enemy targets or missions. You worked closely with Maria Hill, but rarely fired your gun. It was necessary to carry it and know how to operate it, but you weren’t in the line of fire often. At least, not anymore.

You kept things business as usual until you were secluded to the confines of your room. You could finally take off the mask you’d forced yourself to always wear in public. It hurt seeing Bucky every single day, having to interact with him, having to act like nothing happened between the two of you. You thought that as the days went on, it would hurt less, but it only seemed to bring more pain into your life. 

“You have a lot of freckles on your back.” He mumbled into the back of your head, his metal arm cradling you protectively, his body pressed against yours.

You turned your head back slightly, trying to look at him with a sarcastic expression, “Well quit looking at them.” You snapped, your cheeks heating up as he pointed this out to you.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at how shy his observation made you, “No way, doll, I’m gonna count all of them.”

As he slinked down your back, counting the freckles, he placed gentle kisses on your skin. Eventually he was down between your legs, having given up on counting the freckles. Instead, he caressed your hips, face buried in between your thighs, flicking his tongue against your clit rapidly. You arched your back against his face, tugging on his mocha-colored locks, signaling to him that he was doing a good job, to say the least. 

The memories you had couldn’t just disappear. You thought about them daily, hourly. You wished you could have that back again, to have him back in your arms, back in your life in the way he was. It just wouldn’t happen and both of you knew it. You knew that no matter the years that you spent together, the connection you had, the memories that plagued both of your thoughts, that that life you had built no longer existed. It only existed in memories. 

You kept yourself busy almost every day, working when you were scheduled not to, working during your breaks. It kept your mind off of the inevitable thoughts that would come once you were alone. Some days you were angry for constantly throwing yourself a pity party, some you were numb to all feelings and some you were so hellbent on keeping yourself busy that you managed a subtle smile every once in a while. It hurt like a bitch thinking that Bucky was actually fine. That was another thought that kept you up at night. How he might be sleeping just fine while you toss and turn without the heavy dip in your beside you, created by his weight. 

“You act like I can’t take care of myself, James.” You rarely ever used his first name, but during arguments, it tended to pop up more often than not. 

Bucky stood a few feet away from you, trying to fit words together without letting his anger take over, “I have every goddamn right to worry. This is a field mission, Y/N. Of course it’s gonna make me feel uneasy.”

“I know what I’m doing! I compiled the report for this, I did the research. Quit treating me like a child.”

You couldn’t see past the worry as him almost parenting you on what you could and couldn’t do. You weren’t seeing the worried boyfriend, you were seeing a bossy, arrogant man that didn’t even exist. 

“Something could happen. Something could go wrong that none of us could expect, and you could be put at bigger risk than you already are.”

You scoffed, “What’s that supposed to mean, James?”

You knew what it meant. It meant that because you weren’t genetically modified, that you weren’t some super soldier, or an enhanced individual, that you would only be a distraction to others around you.

He stuttered, trying to think o f the right words to use, but he couldn't. 

“Yeah, okay. Get the hell out of my room, James.”

No amount of self-care nights, favorite food binges or Netflix shows could fill the gaping hole in your chest. Heartbreak is no joke and you knew that. You had just never experienced it to this extent. You imagined that Bucky hadn’t either, considering his lengthy past. That thought was the only thing that kept you from sobbing into your pillow. That maybe, just maybe, he was feeling the heartbreak as well.

You thought about the reason why you and Bucky broke up often. Trying to figure out a way that maybe the two of you could still stay together. It seemed unlikely and Bucky was stubborn, he wouldn’t just give in… not even for you. You stayed up late into the night, thinking of him. How maybe some night he might sneak into your room and want you again. Some nights, you would get up and walk toward his room, but you never made it all the way there. It would be too embarrassing if he turned you away. 

“Buck, will you hand me that med-kit behind you?” Steve kept his voice calm, staring down at you as you faded in and out of consciousness. 

You tried to tell the team that you were fine, that it was just a scratch. It was actually a bullet wound that was bleeding steadily. Bucky didn’t listen to Steve, but instead continued to stare off into space, completely zoned out. Steve got up to retrieve the kit himself, purposefully nudging Bucky to try to get him to snap out of it. Steve patched you up as best as he could, then when he tried to tend to your other smaller wounds, you gestured him away. You closed your eyes, lip busted, broken cheek bone and the top to your uniform ripped away, a large bandage tightly tied around your hips to stop the bleeding from the gunshot wound. 

Eventually, you passed out from blood loss and woke up in the Hospital Wing of the compound, wearing a sports bra and loose sweats. Your head ached but that was nothing compared to the feeling of guilt. Bucky knew this would happen and you fought him tooth and nail to be on that mission, to prove to him that you can handle yourself. You knew that you’d never hear the end of it.

And then you did. You heard the end of it two days later when he broke things off, explaining that you’d be safer. His voice was deadpan, avoiding eye contact the entire time. He offered no room for discussion, he only said that you’d be safer and he apologized for allowing your relationship to go on for so long that you got hurt. You were more than physically hurt after he broke up with you. You stood where he left you, angry, wanting to storm after him and yell and cry and work things out, but knew that that would get you nowhere. He made up his mind.

You’d always pictured how things could’ve worked out had you two still been together. You thought about all the dates you hadn’t gone on, about him proposing and having the perfect wedding. Maybe you’d even have kids, he’d talked about wanting a baby before briefly. You pictured them with his eyes, knowing they’d mean more than the world to both of you. These thoughts of yours weren’t helping. Sometimes they’d make you feel good for a moment, stuck in your head, daydreaming. Then you’d be snapped out of it and have to face the realization that that wasn’t in your cards anymore.

You were simply left to put yourself back together and you’d do exactly that. It’d hurt like hell at first but you WOULD be able to do it. He’d made the mess, but you’d make sure no one else would notice it.

[ifninomiko]

[Rev] The New Mutants #87: Cable Arrives

11 more issues until we get to Deadpool.  At least we have a plot to keep us warm.

Also, Cable.  Look at him.  This is the second time we see him and already he has given up on wearing a shirt.

The future is a naked place.

The mysterious group of costume wearing weirdos strikes again!  The MLF!

Right off the bat the art doesn't make as good an impression and I'm going to blame that on the colorist, who is now Mike Rockwitz.  It's not that he's bad so much as his synergy with Rob Liefeld is not as good as Glynis Wein.

Let's be real, I have to turn off my art brain to read this.  Just accept it, self:  Marvel art in the 90s was bad. 

This is the second research station the MLF hit and we get a nice summary of who all our costumed weirdos are and their powers.  Two of them are rocking the exact same eye look. 

[Huh.  I wonder if this is how Deadpool eventually gets his mask eyes what with this panda eyed villain thing Rob Liefeld has going on.]

The MLF are here to blow things up, just like they promised, but the bomb is busted, so Thumbellina shrinks to fix it.

Without the writer narrating what's going on, I'd be completely lost.

The timer starts.

The MLF gets out of dodge and a shirtless stranger appears!

Honestly, Mr. McGlowey Eye's timing could not be worse.

The place explodes.

...

Whelp.  Cable's only been here for four panels and he's already dead.

Yep.

...

WHAT IN THE F*CK, COMIC!?!?

... and on that, we have a scene skip.

The New Mutants are in Asgard feasting.

Meh.  I don't really care about Asgard and it feels weirdly out of place in an X-Men book to me, but whatever.   Guys, your friends need you.  They need you so hard.

But never fear, for a deus ex machina fairy appears!

This is the second unexpectedly fine ass in so many issues.  First the Vulture, now this tiny deus ex machina fairy.  Zounds.  

Deus ex machina fairy is here to deus ex, for she has brought a vial of magical solutions and a map!

Everybody party like it’s 1999!  Except it’s 1990.

I’m don’t even know why I should care about you lot yet, but we’re finally moving this Asgard plot along.  Hallelujah!

Scene skip.

Finally, the things #86 made me care about.

Rusty and Skids are in Freedom Force’s hospital in Washington, DC. 

Wow, Freedom Force is beginning to sound really legit.  This isn’t some weird black ops site, this is actually in the capital.

Rusty is out cold, but Skids is catching up on the news and getting generally upset that Freedom Force turned the tables on them.  We get info dumped the highlights of the previous issue along with Skids and then Mystique shows up.

Once again, the nineties cartoon says this is a villain ... and when you’re wearing skulls around your waist and on your forehead, people have to make certain assumptions.

Mystique is here to interrogate Skids and thicken the plot.  I’m loving this plot.

She wants to know why Skids and Rusty are important to the MLF, but Skids doesn’t know anything about that.

Turns out Rusty and Skids were in prison because they know important things and now Mystique will keep them prisoner to keep the MLF from finding out what those important things are.

I’d like to know what those important things are.  Don’t leave me hanging!

Scene skip.

afjhakjfheiuawhtiuewhrlu!!!!

Get back to the good plot!

Stop cock blocking me with this Asgard nonsense! 

Primus’ mighty steel bearings on a spike!

Argh.  Fine.  Primus.

The New Mutants say their goodbyes to their friends in Asgard.  I guess they’re leaving Dani behind because she’s a Valkyrie now?

They board the good ship Warlock, who exists to be a plot convenience, and sail off for home. 

That rainbow bridge is still spewing broken chunks.  The universe is just going to have to

Holy foreshadowing Batman!  There will probably be a fight! 

Since they’re heading right through the dimension of the mindless ones on their way home.

Scene skip to dun dun dun! 

Stryfe!!!!  Head of the Mutant Liberation Front and possessor of the second worst fashion sense in all of Marvel. [The first worst is Cable.]

Seriously, dude, did you dream this outfit up when you were fifteen and sulking in your bedroom because your dad wouldn’t let you party?

Those are nipples on your armor.  You have an extended loin guard.  Then there are the spikes.  Your teenage dreams of highlighting your assets haven’t worked quite like you hoped.

Topping it off we have your name ... I mean, honestly.  Just call yourself Lord Voldemort.  It would be more subtle.

You were 115% more cool when you were sitting in a chair impersonating Dr. Claw and waiting for your cat to arrive.

[Left image from The New Mutants #98 and the right from Villains Wiki]

Still, despite his flaws, Stryfe is more fearsome than Nitro, so our villains have improved.

The US government has refused to give in to the terrorist demands of the MLF (no surprise there), so Stryfe has decided to attack Freedom Force directly and just take Rusty and Skids.

Uh oh.

It also seems that Rusty and Skids are just a smokescreen to the MLF’s real plan.

Except no one will tell me what the real plan is.

Wildside reasonably points out that Rusty and Skids aren’t going to come peacefully. 

Stryfe decides to deal with his insubordination by going old school and choking a bitch. 

Thumbellina and Wildside are kept behind by Stryfe and the rest of the MLF head out to invade Freedom Force and capture Rusty and Skids.

Just as I wonder why they couldn’t just teleport inside, they conveniently explain that Zero can’t teleport places he’s never been by complaining about it.

The exposition in this issue is really top notch. I like this method of explaining things.  A++

As they charge the gate, Cable magically shows up!

What. In. The. Hell.

HOW?!?!

Hi, I got exploded and all that happened was the reddening of my eye scar!

Not only that, but he knows where the MLF was going to strike!

Mysterious dude who has only just arrived ... how do you know?!?!?!  How did you survive that explosion?!

Before we can get any real answers, we’re punished with a scene skip!

Not these losers again! 

Can we just go back to the good plot?

The New Mutants are coasting through dimensions on their way home.

I’m glad they have such faith in their friends.  Who are captured.  And all alone.  ABANDONED.

Just as they’re about to exit the wormhole, they’re attacked!

Did I or did I not say they were going to be attacked?

The mindless ones attack the ship and everyone fights back. Everyone gets to show off their powers as they fight except for Rahne.  As they defeat the mindless ones, they figure after all this excitement that ordinary school life might be boring.

Spoiler alert, guys:  The Xavier Institute is always getting destroyed.  Boredom is never your problem.

Scene skip back to the good stuff!!

The MLF have fought their way to a control room and are checking the computer for Rusty and Skids.

Cable sneaks up behind them and starts shooting!

Attacks from the back and still manages to hit Tempo in the chest.

Comic physics does not make sense.

The fight is on!

... despite his sneak attack, Cable still gets his aft handed to him by everyone.

Reaper hits him with his paralyzing neural disrupter, but he still manages to give him a knock out punch.

Then Strobe jumps him.  He catches her, but she melts his hand, putting him down for the count.

I think Cable is going to be dead TWICE in this issue. 

Who exactly has the healing power again??

Right then, scene skip!

I give up.  This issue is just going to scene skip every time something interesting is happening.

The New Mutants arrive home and exposition to us about the broader plot.  The X-Men are gone and X-Factor is missing, leaving the New Mutants to bear the torch that is Xavier’s dream. 

I could give all of zero f*cks about Xavier’s dream right now.  Rusty and Skids are about to be kidnapped and Cable just got himself killed ... again.

... and Warlock’s art always looks weirdly out of place.  I can’t get over the constant stripey yellow and black. 

SCENE SKIP AGAIN.  OH MY PRIMUS I WILL EXPLODE.

Whelp.  Those are Cable’s legs.  There on the right side.  He done got himself shot.  Now he’s dead.

Again.

Strobe burns through the floor to Rusty and Skids room.

There are guards there, ready to shoot Rusty and Skids if they try to escape.  Plot twist, though, since the guards have their orders not from Freedom Force but from someone higher up than them.

The MLF comes down through the ceiling.  The guards shoot at them.  Skids tries to protect Rusty, but the guards turn their guns on him.

With Rusty shot, Strobe gets between the kids and the guards and melts the guards’ bullets.  Skids asks her why the MLF cares and Strobe says that the kids are a symbol of the injustice visited upon mutant kind by regular humans.

She gives Skids a choice:  to come with them or face their termination order.

Faced with only bad choices and Rusty’s life on the line, Skids makes the choice to go with the MLF.

The scene skips twice on the last page.

I don’t even.

As the New Mutants float over the bay, X-Factor’s ship suddenly falls out of the sky!  Warlock flies to the rescue!

Scene skip!

Back at Freedom Force hospital ... Cable survived!

I guess that the MLF can’t aim, not even at close range.  Or they hit every metal part on his body and nothing else.

Now Cable is in the custody of Freedom Force.

He’s a slippery devil, it seems.  With a dossier a mile long.

I think we can also assume that he is smug as hell.  Just look at how he sprawls in the bastion of the enemy.

Next issue:  Stuff happens!

Meanwhile, Rusty and Skids are still missing!  It’s time to start the clock. Rusty & Skids Are Still Missing Comic Clock: 3 days Rusty & Skids Are Still Missing Real Time Clock: 1 month

Final Word:

Art aside, #87 forwards the plot that I care about despite all the scene skips. It fleshes out the MLF, which is nice, and we get Cable.  He is not at all effective ... but he is difficult to kill.  So that’s something at least.

I think it’s worth the $1.99, but only if you like Cable or have read #86.

Previous Review:  The New Mutants #86