#and worried that this reflects real flaws in my writing

[deadandphilgames]

A note from Daniel (new epilogue from You Will Get Through This Night)

Thank you for reading This Night. Writing this book in 2021, while sitting locked down in a lightless basement apartment for months, had a certain self-fulfilling irony that was not lost on me.

In many ways, I wrote this book for not only my past self that I wish could have known these things when I needed them most - but for the guy sitting in an incredibly uncomfortable, hunched, t-rex-esque position typing, that needed it right then. Like many of you, I thought those particularly fun couple of years were a temporary inconvenience, that I wouldn't have to age the book by diving into. And here we are. I hope you enjoyed that new chapter about resilience and whatever the hell a 'polycrisis' is. Turns out certain global events do have an additional effect on our mental health - it's understandable that you may try to power through it and pretend it never happened, but we all deserve to take whatever time we need to honestly process how life makes us feel. I hope you're doing alright. My journey of reflecting honestly on my own life experiences and lifestyle while writing was …like spontaneously punching yourself in the stomach. "Wow. I really live like this? That is apparently not conducive to a healthy mind. Oops. Guess I'll go touch some grass." I'm happy if that made this a more entertaining read occasionally.

Even now, I find myself continually re-reading the book in those small moments of first emotional reaction to situations where I now at least think "Wait - what was I supposed to do here? Right. Not catastrophise." If this is you - that is fine. You are not expected to perfectly memorise this book or retain all knowledge you hear in life. I know I don't. If you're ever sat next to me in the emergency exit aisle of a plane, know that you may be required to physically throw me out of the door in order to inflate the slide because I was busy during the briefing, imagining how my life would have been different if I actually had the nerve to dye my hair black that time in school. I am at peace with that.

It was honestly terrifying for me to try and mine the content of my life to try and actually illustrate advice for people that may really need it …for me to honestly look at the balance between joking about my mental health, and really getting real. Hey - if your attempt at opening up via some humour comes out a bit offensive, you still get points for at least putting it on the table. That's progress.

This is not a book about me. I am here just as an example of terrible behaviour that you have permission to have an inappropriate public transport snort at, and as a writer who has repeatedly not finished traditional 'self-help' or scientific study books for being dry, unrelatable and preachy. I just hope you found this moist, identifiable and accepting of all of your beautiful flaws. So many flaws. I often worried if any of the material was maybe obvious, or something you could stumble across on the second page of Google - then I had a small moment of honesty with myself contemplating my own ignorance, commitment to procrastination, attention span …and the fact that factually just 0.63% of all people searching online, ever bother clicking to the second page of results. If you already knew some of this, good for you. Honestly. You must literally be happy with yourself. I'm just looking in the mirror and trying to do something for the 99.37% of humanity that spend their lives never successfully researching how to not lay awake at night fantasising about their doom. Look forward to the upcoming pocket size book of 'offensively self-destructive jokes' by Dan - or 700-page memoir of my yet un-girthy, mostly unremarkable life so far if that's what you're really looking for.

Perhaps the most terrifying result of releasing this book into the world, has been coming face to face with those of you that have read it. For in these moments, all of my protective self-deprecating persona comes crashing down in an instant when someone says this book made them feel better. Hearing that this book was the first time they finished anything tangentially related to self-improvement, or that just one thing they read was a new perspective on a part of their life they needed, makes me feel my mission in life is already complete. Seeing it be recommended by bookstores amongst all the other choices, hearing that people have shared it with their therapists or had it suggested to them by a professional, is an unbelievable seal of approval that I appreciate. I am so inarticulably grateful to have been given the opportunity to do anything that could make your life easier, more peaceful, more enjoyable. I've met people who annotated this book with post-its, told me they listen to audiobook exercises on their commute - and even a few people that have had illustrations tattooed onto them as a symbolic reminder of a message.

All of this puts that year of typing like some kind of infinite monkey at a typewriter into perspective. I'd do it all again. Mostly. It has been the greatest privilege of my life to be the guy whose name is printed on this book, and I just hope that reading it helped you, as much as writing it helped me.

Love and good luck.

- Dan

[fortune-fool02]

Connection

Leon Kennedy x female reader

Summary: A connection is more than a word.

Warning: Angst. Mentions of struggling to connect, mentions of isolation and loneliness. Comfort at the end.

I wrote this at a bit of a point in my head where it was not the best. Thank you for reading though I'm sorry if it's not the best. I just needed to write this.

I might delete it later on or something.

Please enjoy.

Humans are social creatures. That fact alone was a common one that many understood easily. People had friends, others to share an experience with. Able to form and create bonds over simple conversations and events such as going to a party or even just hanging out somewhere.

From such activities, that person would become fond of their presence. Seek them out subconsciously, a stray text here and there throughout the day or few days. A way to speak even when they weren't together.

It was these things that allowed bonds to form. For connections to strengthen between individuals. How friendships and relationships of all shapes were forged.

Though, for some, such things were dreams. Fantasies equal to distant lands riddled with fairy-tales and promises of something greater. A brighter world. [Name] was one of those who struggled to connect. Ever since she could remember, those around her always seemed to not notice her, despite her best attempts to have them see her. To have them remember her, and feel some form of authentic connection in return. And yet, every attempt failed.

She would watch as the people around her would plan out events with such passion and enthusiasm but never once would turn their head to her, "Hey, do you want to come?" Words she longed to hear leave their lips. Instead, in their place, [Name] was always given a "Sorry, there's not enough room.", "Oh, it's more of our thing.", "Don't worry, we'll invite you next time."

Next time never came around. It was never her turn for anything. Was she doing something wrong?The reflection that would stare back at her would develop flaws, each one carving itself into her flesh, staining her vision until this make-believe thought was as real as stone for her.

At times, it would infuriate her. Other people would form connections and bonds so easily, thick and strong, and yet, she struggled for someone to even remember her name. To have someone send her a text message, asking how she was, rather than her always being the one asking was something that she craved.

For someone to look at her and see her. To wish to get to know her, to care enough. [Name] wanted that. She wanted to be cared for, to be wanted and craved. To be someone's 'special someone'. In truth, no, in her eyes, there was more chance of getting blood from a stone or proving true Divinity exists than such a possibility happening to her.

It would be easier to count rapid passing cars in a motorway than to recall just how many times she had shed tears over this reality. A crater in place of where her heart would be. A hollow point of the soul. Why try to chase after the Sun and blind yourself?

Then there was a shift in this endless, vast existence that she called her own, like a tiny wave in the ocean. A man had relocated to her town. A man of dark hair with thin strands of blonde occasionally peer through, and blue eyes that would put the morning sky to shame.

A man who noticed her. Who took note of her existence and wished to explore her further than just that. Leon almost seemed too good that [Name] was certain there was a motive behind his kindness. She didn't want to get attached. She didn't want to get her hopes up again.

And yet, he didn't let her down. If he said he was going to be there at seven, he would arrive at five minutes to. He would call her. He would text her. Hell, he even remembered her birthday. Something that almost brought her to tears when she awoke that morning to see a 'Happy Birthday' message from him.

For the first time, [Name] felt as if she could be seen by someone. That she was not just some background character in her own life. Leon stood at her front door, a warm smile on his lips and a sparkle in his eyes that would light up the second he saw her. To know that this sparkle and smile was only for her...

It didn't just stop there. Leon would find ways to make her smile. Little gifts that he tailored to her liking, remembering things spoken in past conversations. He would remember important days for her. He would recall events and her preferences.

Leon would remember things that [Name] didn't even recall telling him. For once in her life, she was not the one chasing after those to connect to. Those that she tried so hard to keep around only to be left alone and cold.

Now, he was here beside her. His arms wrapped around her body to chase away that bitter coldness. To reignite that flame in her body that had long since died out.

Leon was here for her. And now, she finally had that distant dream of hers. [Name] finally meant something to someone.

She meant the world and more to Leon.

[blackenedsnow]

Do you think you can write anything where Chucky/Charles cheers the reader up? Especially if it was related to her(reader) feeling fat and unattractive, you know. Just some fluff

killer confidence

WARNING: Mention of insecurities related to body image

PAIRING: Chucky & (Fem) Reader

NOTE: I'm so glad I'm finally getting requests ughh!! Thank you for your ask. I hope this is alright!

SUMMARY: Feeling insecure about your appearance, especially your weight, you try to hide those feelings, but Chucky, always observant in his twisted way, notices something's off.

You stared at your reflection in the mirror, frowning as your eyes scanned over every flaw you thought you could see. The shirt you were wearing felt tight today, tighter than usual, clinging to your body in ways you didn’t like. Your pants felt snug, and no matter how many times you tugged at the fabric, trying to loosen it, nothing helped. You sighed, pulling at your shirt again, wishing you could just disappear.

“What the hell’s your problem?”

You startled, turning around to see Chucky sitting on the edge of the dresser, arms crossed and a bemused smirk on his face.

“Nothing,” you muttered, turning back to the mirror and running your hands over your midsection again, hoping that maybe this time it would look different. “Just… don’t feel great today.”

Chucky raised an eyebrow, his smirk faltering just a bit. “Oh yeah? What’s eating at you now?”

You hesitated, not really wanting to talk about it. How could you explain the constant insecurity, the way your mind twisted every reflection into something worse, something uglier? You already felt ridiculous for letting it get to you so much.

“It’s stupid,” you finally said, waving your hand dismissively. “I just feel… fat. Ugly. Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

Chucky snorted, but there was a glint of something in his eyes—something that wasn’t just mockery. “That’s what you’re worried about? Jesus, you women and your body image shit. It’s always the same thing.”

You glared at him, expecting some snide comment or cruel joke. That was his usual way of handling things, after all—harsh humor, crude remarks. It was just who he was.

But instead, he surprised you.

“You know, you’re the only one who sees yourself like that,” Chucky said, hopping down from the dresser and sauntering over to you. “I don’t know where you’re gettin’ this idea that you’re ‘fat’ or ‘ugly’ or whatever the hell’s goin’ on in that head of yours, but it’s complete bullshit.”

You blinked, turning to face him fully now, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his tone. “You… think so?”

He rolled his eyes. “Of course I think so. You think I’d hang around here if you weren’t worth looking at? C’mon, give me a little credit. I’ve got standards.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Leave it to Chucky to make a compliment sound like an insult.

He smirked, clearly pleased with himself for getting a reaction out of you. “See? That’s better. You’re too busy worrying about what you think you look like to realize you’ve got nothing to be whining about.”

“But I don’t feel—” you started, but Chucky cut you off with a sharp wave of his hand.

“Yeah, yeah, I get it. You don’t feel like you look good. You’re stuck in that shitty little brain of yours, obsessing over crap that doesn’t matter. But let me tell you somethin’, sweetheart—none of that changes the fact that you're not fuckin' ugly, no matter what you think.”

Your face flushed at his blunt words. “Chucky, you really—”

“—need to stop bein’ so goddamn nice? Yeah, I know.” He shrugged, pacing in front of you with his usual swagger. “But let me make this clear. I’ve seen a lotta people in my time—real sickos, gorgeous dames, ugly bastards, you name it—and you? You’re a damn knockout compared to most of ‘em.”

You felt your heart lift slightly at his words, despite how gruff they were. “You really think that?”

Chucky rolled his eyes again but nodded, a grin creeping back onto his face. “Hell yeah, I do. You think I’d bother stickin’ around if you weren’t worth it? I may be a killer, but I’m not blind.”

You laughed softly again, the weight of your earlier insecurity starting to fade under his strangely endearing pep talk.

“And another thing,” he said, pointing at you with that little plastic hand. “If anyone tries to tell you otherwise? I’ll gut ‘em, no questions asked. They won’t know what hit ‘em.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “I’m sure you would.”

“Damn right.”

You shook your head, still smiling. “Thanks, Chucky. I mean it. I guess I’ve just been in my head a lot lately.”

"Yeah, yeah, don’t get all mushy on me now," he grumbled, though there was a hint of a grin on his face. "But seriously, stop tearing yourself down. You’ve got better things to focus on—like helping me figure out how to take out the neighbors. That guy across the street’s been pissing me off for weeks."

You snorted. "Yeah, I’ll get right on that."

Chucky nodded, satisfied. "Good. And hey, if you ever start feeling like this again, just remember: I don’t hang around fuckin' losers. You’re stuck with me, so that should tell you something."

It was probably the closest thing to a compliment Chucky could manage, but it meant more than you’d expected. The tension that had been weighing on you for most of the day started to ease, and for the first time in hours, you didn’t feel quite so bad about yourself.

Maybe it was just the absurdity of getting a pep talk from a killer doll, but you actually felt a little better. And for now, that was enough.

[maple-the-awesome]

It's Over? ||

Pairing: (any) Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 3,728

Overview: (Loosely based on this) After overhearing your conversation on the phone, Peter begins to worry about the status of your relationship and a miscommunication over text only makes matters worse.

Marvel Masterlist 🖤 Fandom Masterlist 🖤 Requests

Peter Parker's such a terrible boyfriend.

...Okay, so maybe you've never said that to his face, but he's convinced it's true and he's also certain you agree. He's been a massive idiot lately which is a realization that makes him sick with worry and rotten with guilt.

Peter feels no hesitation with his feelings towards you and has always put effort into proving it: he gets you hand picked flowers collected during his patrols, writes loving messages for you with webs outside your window, and even texts you pictures of sunsets from the best views in New York, wishing you could be there in person with him because he absolutely treasures you, counting himself lucky every single day solely because of the fact that he can call himself your boyfriend.

Unfortunately, he fears that the title might change here soon because no matter how boundless his love is for you, he's done a real shitty job of showing it - at least in the ways that really count the most.

Originally, Peter didn't notice the flaws to your relationship and even when he did, he foolishly brushed them off. Once your smile began to fade little by little each time he returned home wounded, he reminded you that you don't need to stay up waiting for him every night and can go to sleep earlier if you're just going to be tired and annoyed with him when he gets home. He didn't mean to word it so harshly. He was worn out himself and didn't take the time to consider that you wait all night because you're worried about him.

Your complaints about him returning from work without getting any groceries would simply be met with new promises to do so after patrol. If there was no food in the fridge for dinner, then he suggested ordering take out. As a man who could easily survive months on Top Ramen alone, he didn't think you'd mind Chinese food two days in a row.

Even when you'd beg him to stay home for a date night because you haven't had one in weeks, he'd push you away, insisting he needs to protect New York without once stopping to wonder how his priorities might translate in your mind: 'I need to protect a city of strangers as I do every single night, so no, I can't spare a few hours for my girlfriend'.

Throughout every sigh to part your lips, Peter turned a blind eye to it all. Sure, the two of you argue, but all couples do, right? He still loves you and you love him, it's just...a little rough dating a superhero is all, however you'll both get through it together, he was so sure - and that's the key word: Peter 'was' sure, but after your fight today and the self-reflection he's done since, he's not too confident anymore.

It seemed so minuscule this morning. He was eating a bowl of cereal when he heard you huff from the other room. Upon investigating, he found you holding a red and blue shirt in hand, frustration written all over your face. It was your favorite shirt and it definitely wasn't supposed to be that color. Of course, the reason for its unplanned dye job wasn't difficult to guess.

Peter apologized while explaining he was really tired the night before and must've thrown his suit into the wash without checking the other items first; an "honest mistake" he called it with a shrug. Once again, you huffed, throwing the shirt back into the hamper in clear defeat which only made him press further about your suddenly foul mood. From there, the situation only escalated into raised voices ending in you slamming the door directly in his face when he tried to follow you into the bedroom.

Looking back on it now, Peter realizes his apology came off as halfhearted as he merely continued to stuff another spoonful of cereal in his mouth in between sentences and he probably should've stayed at that locked door to give you a proper apology, yet regrettable that's not how it played out. Instead, he purposely sighed as loudly as he could, asking why you "act so bitchy anymore" before stomping off...Not the greatest way to resolve an argument.

Unfortunately, Peter can't say that was the first fight he's merely walked away from with you. You would think Spiderman would know better, but alas, he's an idiot. In his own immature mind, he didn't see anything wrong or unhealthy with this strategy of simply dropping 'unfavorable conversations', after all, it seemed he had a fifty-fifty chance of you either getting angrier or never bringing the topic up again, the latter of which has been occurring more frequently lately. It wasn't until this morning that he realized just because you don't bring it up again, doesn't mean it isn't still hurting you.

When Peter went back up to the bedroom door, prepared to tell you he'd be leaving for work soon, he heart shattered upon hearing your silent sobs from inside. You were crying because of him. Your tears have always been his weakness, but it was in that moment that he learned there's something else that can deal even more damage to his sorrow and that's the broken words you sniffled to presumably MJ on the phone:

"I-I just can't do this anymore! It doesn't matter what I do! I've tried to not be clingy. I've tried to give him space and let him do his thing, but he never comes back to me! I don't even remember the last time we've gone on a date. It's always New York this, Daily Bugle that. Hell, he volunteered to work a few extra hours the other day yet can't be bothered to stay home just to eat dinner at the table with me! It's like I'm last to everything else in his life even when I put him first in mine!"

The thought of your relationship ending turns Peter's nerves to mush. How could he be so stupid? So ignorant? Such an asshole when he has the perfect girlfriend who has kept putting up with his bullshit for all this time? You don't ask for much in return; you never have. You ask him to help with small chores in your shared apartment. You request that he texts you regularly throughout the night not because you need attention, but because you need to know he's safe. You want date nights every once in a blue moon because he's your boyfriend, goddammit! What's the point of saying you're dating if he feels more like a lazy roommate than an equal lover?

You're slipping right through his fingers and he has no one to blame except himself. He knows that now and he's been spending the entire day thinking about it along with some way to apologize properly.

Part of him wishes he would've just pulled himself together and done something right then, bursting into the room with the promise that he can change - that he will change. Hell, he'd burn his suit in front of you if it means you'll give him another chance - if you'll believe for a second that the relationship is worth saving...But alas, he couldn't bring himself to interrupted your call, feeling it would only betray your trust if you knew he had been listening to a private conversation.

Instead, Peter sat like a statue on the couch, waiting not so patiently for you to leave the room on your own accord. When you did, he leaped up only for you to walk directly past him while sternly reminding him you have work. Of course you had work and, no matter how far he followed you through the apartment, begging you to listen to him for even just a minute, you wouldn't so much as glance his way...The karma he deserves.

While you may not have given him any time to explain himself this morning, hope is not completely lost. Shortly after your departure, Peter came to the realization that his nerves will last all day if he doesn't do something about your earlier argument, thus he decided to text you:

Your final text hadn't come until ten minutes after his, but at least he has a chance to plead his case which he doesn't plan on letting go to waste. He's practiced his apology about a hundred times each hour, engraving the thought-out speech in the deepest corners of his mind despite none of it sounding quite right. Of course none of it sounds right! You sounded so convinced on your phone call - like your mind is already made up on ending the relationship. What if you can't be swayed? What if you don't love him anymore? It did take you ten minutes to text those words back. Maybe you weren't even wanting to say them to spare you both the extra pain at noon.

It may seem hopeless, as Peter worries, however he refuses to give up. Too tense at home, he took to swinging around New York while sometimes reciting his speech aloud. He's tried his best to predict any possible response you may have so that a counter argument can be prepared. He wants to show you that he means this - that he's confident in his ability to fix your crumbling relationship. He's even picked up a nice bouquet of flowers at the corner store, ignoring the weird looks the florists gave as Spiderman dropped from the sky just to nervously request the best flowers to avoid a break up.

Needless to say, Peter's heart nearly jumps out of his chest when his phone alarm finally rings at noon. By this time, he's already sitting on the rooftop of your workplace, waiting nervously for your call while reviewing everything he's prepared in the meantime.

Bad boyfriend or not, Peter still knows you. He knows you find the break room too crowded, so you prefer to grab your lunch and take it back to your desk to eat. That's when you'll likely call him. The plan is then for him to pour his heart out into his speech before hanging upside down outside your office window with the flowers. Sappy, yes, but it's the best a desperate wreck like Peter Parker can think of!

His focus is glued to his phone screen while waiting, only shattered by the sound of sirens nearby. Lifting his head, Peter's heart drops at the sight of several cop cars racing down the street to a location he's learned all too well throughout his time as Spiderman: the damn bank. Of course, someone has to rob the bank now! Crime has been quiet all day, but the one time Peter needs it to be so, it decides to be blaring loud instead!

He curses under his breath when standing only for his ringer to be the new sound in his ears. You're calling now! You're calling and there's a bank robbery a few blocks down! Why does the universe hate Peter like this?

"Hello -"

"- Hey, (Y/n)...Sweetheart - Listen, I'm, um," he bites his lip, watching a few more cop cars zoom by in the company of a firetruck," I am so sorry, but I'm gonna have to call you back, okay? There's a robbery at the bank and I -...I promise I'm going to call you back before your break is over. I promise."

You don't respond too quickly much to Peter's concern - as if you already know to start weighing the worth of his promises. When you finally sigh, you sound just as tired as this morning, "...Sure, alright. Just...be safe, Peter, okay?"

"I know, I will be! I promise I'm going to call you right back so just hold tight!" Swinging into the air, Peter holds the phone to his ear with his shoulder, soon removing it with his hand but pausing to say before hanging up: "Have a good lunch, I love you!"

"...I love you, too..." Another delayed response, one Peter barely hears before pressing the little red button on the bottom of his screen.

He's dealt with lots of bank robberies before. He can make this quick. Swing in, keep the sass to a minimum, web up the badies, save the hostages, and return your call with plenty of time remaining for your break. It'll definitely work out that way, no sweat!

It didn't work out that way...No, of course it didn't, this is the life of Peter Parker; a man the universe just seems to hate most of the time. Forty two minutes; that's how long it took to deal with the whole fiasco at the bank. The robbers were armed with homemade weapons each packing a punch which are already annoying to deal with on their own, but sided with the worry of hostages and his already stressful day, the fight wasn't as easy as Spiderman had planned.

Nevertheless, no matter what the universe decides to throw his way, he has gotten good at recovering. Yet again, the bad guys were defeated and left webbed up for the police, however Spiderman had no time to deliver a clever pun before his exit. Instead, he disappears the second the threat is gone, his phone already in hand as he prepares to face another:

"Shit, shit, shit!" Peter curses, pacing across the rooftop he lands on while frantically texting you back:

Swinging a bit further, Peter begins his way towards your work with his phone balanced against his ear. He mumbles desperate pleas under his breath as he listens to the seemingly endless ringing before, to his relief, your voice finally picks up on the other side:

"Yeah?"

"Oh thank god! I didn't mean it's over as in 'I'm over with you and our relationship', but over as in 'I got the robbers'. I'd never break up with you especially over text, I swear - Listen, I really need to talk to you, but in person. Are you still at work?"

"Whatever it is, can't you just tell me now? I have that meeting in like ten minutes."

"No, I need to tell you in person. I need - I have to make sure that we're okay...I want us to be okay..." He's nearly in tears which is obvious to you by the sound of his voice.

"What are you talking about?"

"I really don't want you to break up with me. I know I've been a terrible boyfriend lately and I know I've made you feel like shit so I probably deserve to be dumped, but I swear I never meant to and I want to fix everything - I will fix everything, I swear! You're the most important person in my life - okay, maybe second to May because she's my aunt, but compared to everyone else! I love you more than Spiderman or the Daily Bugle or - or even those super good sandwiches at the corner deli!"

"Peter -"

"- My point is I can do so much better! I'll start doing all the chores, I'll take more days off from the Daily Bugle and I'll even stop being Spiderman if it means you'll be happy with me, I promise! Just please give me one more chance -!"

"- Peter, hold on!" He instantly shuts his mouth under the strictness in your voice. You hesitate on the other end before a sigh can be heard, "...How quickly can you be here?"

"Give me two minutes tops!"

"...Alright. Meet me on the rooftop - and don't be late. My manager's already an asshole as it is, so I can't be late to this meeting."

The sound of Peter landing on the roof causes you to turn around, yet you have no time to say anything before he's running towards you with his mask already crinkled in his hand as well as a few measly roses with broken stems in the other, "(Y/n), I’m sorry. I promise I’m sorry.”

“Peter, your face…” Perhaps it’s just instincts and routine at this point, but the first thing you notice is the nasty bruise already forming under his eye, not that he’s the slightest bit concerned about that, in fact he doesn’t even acknowledge your comment.

“Please give me another chance. I’ll fix everything!” When Peter officially reaches your side, he moves to hug you - desperately wanting to do so, however he stops himself with his hands on your arms, having no more confidence to push his luck. You could shove him away at any moment, after all, “Like I said, I’ll do the chores, I’ll go on as many dates as you want, and I’ll stop being Spiderman even -”

“- You wouldn’t stop being Spiderman. You’d never stop being Spiderman,” contrary to his expectations, rather than being angry, you run a hand through his hair, your voice a soft whisper, “You love being Spiderman too much, Peter.”

He bites his lip and bows his head in shame. You’re right. He doesn’t want to stop being Spiderman, but…

“...But I love you more…”

“...Peter,” your heart swoons. Brushing his bangs away from his face, you tilt your head to get a good look at him, “I know you love me and I love you, too. That’s why I could never ask you to give up something as important to you as Spiderman.”

“I thought…” He trails off.

“You thought what?”

He glances at you quickly before directing his eyes away, “...I thought you were mad at me because of Spiderman? Because I spend too much time working - that’s why you want to break up with me, right?”

You blink in surprise, “Huh? Why would you think I want to break up with you?”

“I accidentally overheard you talking on the phone,” now it’s your turn to look away in shame, “You said you couldn’t do this anymore…That you were pretty much fed up with me which you have every right to be. I’ve been a terrible boyfriend lately -”

“- You’re not a terrible boyfriend -”

“- I am, though!” Peter cries, “It’s like you said! I leave you second to everything else - I don’t mean to, but I made you feel like you’re not as important to me when you really are. You’ve always been important to me, yet I’ve been ignoring your feelings and I pushed you to the ledge -”

“- Peter Parker,” you move your hands to his cheeks, moving him gently to look at you as you speak quietly yet sternly, “...You’re right. You haven’t been the most ‘attentive’ lately and yes, it really hurts to be tossed aside compared to everything else. I know deep down that you don’t mean it and I know you love me. I love you too - sooo much which is why I really don’t want to break up…It’s just…Something needs to change.

“That call you heard - I was only ranting if anything because honestly, I haven’t felt like I’ve had anyone to talk to lately,” you squeeze your eyes shut, blinking back the tears, “I’ve been so worn out with it all. Work’s been crazy lately with my manager constantly up my ass for reports and then when I go home wanting nothing more than to spend time with the one person who makes all that stress go away, you aren’t there. I’ve…I can’t keep that up.

“...What’s important right now is that we both realize that. I don’t want you to give up being Spiderman, but you could take a night off once in a while, right? There’s like a zillion superheroes in this city, after all. Make the Avengers handle it or - I don’t know, that devil dude. Take a break not just for my sake, but yours, too” you let your hands fall down to Peter’s, holding onto them with a sigh, “...You’re not the only one who needs to change, though. This is partly my fault, too -”

“- It isn’t your fault. Why would it be your fault?” Peter interrupts with concern, yet you shake your head.

“I should’ve communicated to you that I was upset. I should’ve made sure you actually understood how I was feeling instead of just assuming or expecting it. Clearly, you care about us as much as I do and you want to make fixes now that you’re aware of the problems. If I just would’ve said something sooner, it wouldn’t have had to get to this point. It isn’t fair for either of us to suffer without the other’s knowledge nor is it healthy. We shouldn’t have to get pushed to the ledge or worry about a break up before ever once sitting down to actually talk about our concerns like grown ups…That’s what we’re supposed to be now, right?”

“I think so, although it’s not that easy, is it?” Peter mumbles then throws his head back dramatically with a groan, “Ah, May and Ben made it look sooo easy!’

You chuckle, resting your forehead against him, “I’m sure they had moments like this…We just have to learn, is all.”

For what feels like the first time today, Peter smiles and breathes his relief, “How about this: I’ll promise to start spending more time with you and doing more chores around the apartment if you promise to start telling me when you’re upset. Even if it’s something that seems totally stupid, okay? I won’t walk away anymore. I’ll sit and listen and if I don’t, you have my permission to call May on me.”

“It’s a promise,” you press your smile against his for what you intend to be a quick peck, however his arms finally wrap around your waist, pulling you closer into a longer kiss he’s been dying for all day.

“I love you,” he whispers once pulling away.

“I love you, too,” and there’s no hesitation or delay to your response this time.

[redux-iterum]

God, can I just say that I love how absolutely brutal the redux is? And I don't mean that in a, "I like seeing the characters hurt" way but like...it just feels so real. The real world is cruel, life is unfair for many. Sometimes innocent people pay the price for asinine laws and beliefs. The way Silverstream died, even after she changed her mind. The way Bluestar's kits suffered slowly depsite how much fight they had. The finality of Tigerstar and Brokenstar's deaths doing nothing to quell the consequences of horrors already played out. Trauma rippling through the clans for generations after. Fireheart's turmoil with the clan's culture is reflective of how I feel while reading the redux. It's just all so absolutely raw. The worst form of suffering is the suffering that was completely preventable. 10/10.

This is in my top 5 favorite asks I've gotten on this blog.

I'm really delighted to hear this, because I'm always worried that people will get mad that Iterum's setting isn't a utopian society where everything is fair and logical (since not being a perfect world in the Redux days is what got me in a lot of trouble with readers). I really enjoy writing a culture that has as many flaws as this one does! It's a lot more interesting to me. It seems it's a lot more interesting to you, too, which is awesome. Thank you!

[joandfriedrich]

My apologies if you have answered this before but I was wondering what are your thoughts on the portrayal of Jo in Little Women (2019)? I like Saoirse Ronan as an actress and I think she did wonderful in the movie but the role she was playing didn’t feel like Jo March at all. It feels like a completely different person with the same name. Does that make sense? Like Jo in the 2019 version is a different person than the Jo in the books. And honestly I was kinda disappointed because the aesthetic and scenery are lovely but the writing was not little women at all.

No worries, I don't know if I've ever done a full detailed explanation of my feelings on Jo's character in the 2019 specifically, so this is a good excuse to talk about it. I completely understand what you mean, her portrayal did not feel in anyway the Jo March I came to know and love after all the years. Let's explore Jo's character assassination.

When I first heard of the project, I was so excited because for a long while Saoirse Ronan was my first choice to play Jo. I have seen her in many movies from "Atonement", "The Lovely Bones", "Brooklyn", and I agree, I believe she is an amazing actress, and I was excited to see what she would do for Jo. On a technical standpoint, she did act very well in the film, but whether or not I felt she deserved an Oscar nom for the part is something different. I personally think she didn't deserve it, not because she's a bad actor, but I don't think what she gave for the character felt worthy of it, you know what I mean? If anything, I think Lupita Nyong'o deserved it much more for her parts in "Us" than Saoirse did for this film.

So where does the problem lie? The writing. I would like to have it on record, I am not one of those people that say that every book adaption must be 100% exact from page to screen, I am open for leeway, creative choices, and cuts, but what I felt was done wrong here was simplifying and changing characters to the point they felt like hollow versions of their flawed but beautiful book counterparts.

Jo is one of the most complex characters in the novel, as her arch starts as a 15 year old girl who is all tomboy and rebel to an independent but loving woman she becomes. We see her reject ideas of marriage because of the social pressures she feels to marry well and how marriage at the time was a loss of freedom for women, to understanding that being a woman isn't contained to one specific box, that she is able to be independent while also having a husband who supports her dreams. She has a temper, it isn't something she gets over as quickly as she has a moment of crisis, she learns how to handle it, like Marmee did. She has internal misogyny that colors her viewpoint of the world, especially women, to understanding that women are as different as each March sister is, and that doesn't lessen their worth as women. Are these lessons we find in the 2019 film? No, it isn't.

Gerwig wrote Jo as if she was trying to appeal to the masses, giving her contradictions that go against her growth and character. Seeing her yell at Friedrich, throwing a tantrum worthy of a kindergartner, and acting selfish throughout her adulthood when it's the time she is the lest selfish is so wrong for her. Jo as a child was not kind, I think we as a society need to stop demonizing a 12 year old Amy for getting fed up when her 15 year old sister continually picked on her for so long that she snapped and did something she came to regret. These are kids, they are meant to be flawed, even annoying, and yet, so many people try to raise child Jo up as if she is the symbol of feminism when she was anything but. And Gerwig followed suit.

Throughout the movie, Jo acted so childish and it was portrayed as liberating, that her maturing means a sacrifice of her true self, that it leaves her sad and alone, and I feel like this is the opposite of real life. I am about to be 30 in a week, and as I have reflected in my life, I have never felt more like my true self in my whole life. It's because I had trials and tribulations to challenge me, question how I see the world, what do I want, where do I wish to go? These are questions we all go through as we get older, and it doesn't mean that we grow older and sadder, it means we change and become more self aware, closer to who we may truly be than anything else. And never forget, there is still so much life ahead, we have so much to learn, plenty of time to become who we ought to be. As David Bowie said "Aging is an extraordinary process whereby you become the person you always should have been."

Jo by the end of the film gains no character arch, she remains practically the same, having issues with change, relying on the familiar rather than ready to explore the unknown, going back on her feelings on Laurie to the point of writing a letter to accept him, which NEVER happened in the book, as she stayed firm on her resolve that she didn't love him romantically. The lack of an arch for Jo means we don't see her grow up, she stays this perpetual 15 year old girl who is selfish, can't take criticism (which book Jo gladly did as an adult), is pressured by her sisters to chase after a man she didn't even seem that interested in (if you go with the one ending), or ends up sad and alone with her book which is what she didn't want to do as she proclaimed she was lonely (if you follow the other ending). Her story is unsatisfying, as it paints her this tragic figure that never got what she wanted in life, despite that not being the case.

She gets to open a school that helps underprivileged kids to get an education, she gets to become an author in the following books, marries a man who loves her not only as a wife but as an equal, has children she loves dearly, and by the end feels she has had a fulfilled life that she wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. Gerwig didn't seem to understand that Jo could be all these things and decided to stick with what she wanted the character to be, but knew she had to satisfy the divided fanbase, hence the confusing ending and character that is Jo March.

Gerwig tried to add in elements of the real life Alcott, thinking that the idealized version of Jo and she were exactly one in the same, but it's not true, as Alcott did long to have a family of her own, had been in love with Henry David Thoreau, and wrote the character of Friedrich Bhaer as the expy of him to be with the expy of her. If Gerwig truly wanted to respect the wishes and vision of Alcott, she didn't need to look further than the wonderful novel she wrote over one hundred years ago.

In the end, the Jo we see in the 2019 film is nothing more than a hollow shadow of a great literary character that was destroyed by someone who, like the people she pandered to, never quite understood Jo in the first place, and therefore didn't deserve her.

[memyselfieandi]

I've experienced body dysmorphia for as long as I can remember being aware of my body. When I was younger, I would hallucinate myself in the mirror as twisted and disfigured. The image I saw closely resembled a kind of gnarled troll. I thought my nose was something like a comic book witch, and I believed half my face was severely drooping, to the point I was worried it was mostly paralyzed. Growing up, people frequently commented on both feminine and masculine aspects of me. I would often hear how I was "like a girl" and "like a boy." When I was 8, I started playing this game where I would put a towel around my head so only my face was showing and pretend to be a game show host, contestants, and the audience. The game was called "Is it a Boy or a Girl?" The same host always asked the contestants the same question: "Is it a boy or girl?" The contestant's answers and audience's reactions (all me) would change every time I played the game. I played this game everyday after I showered for a couple years. When I got older, my obsession with my flaws became so extreme that I would hear hundreds sometimes thousands of voices CONSTANTLY telling, mostly yelling at me every perceived physical flaw. I couldn't forget my skin, teeth, nails, hair, lips, nose, etc etc etc. I couldn't forget, for any waking moment, everything I thought was wrong with me. It was that way for a few years. I'm sharing all this because it relates to this blog for me. I often wonder why I have this blog. I've had many theories why, and they're all likely part of the reason, but I just had a realization that made it clear to me. I was scrolling through my selfies, and it suddenly clicked: "This is me." Of course, I KNOW it's me, but it didn't FEEL real until a few moments ago. I was fully disconnecting the face I saw on the screen from my identity of self. It's a strange feeling, becoming aware of the disconnect I have with myself. It's strange to see how it affects my ability to feel like "that's what I look like." I guess before when I saw my pictures I just thought "that's a face called me". Now I can see THAT'S MY FACE. I think this blog is helping me channel that obsessive focus on my appearance in a healthier and more moderate way. Similar to writing, singing, or dancing it out. Instead of worrying what I look like and imagining what I look like I can capture and show myself a more factual representation of what I look like, and by selectively collecting the images I like of myself I can more moderately seek out a source of self reflection than a mirror, which I find to have a lower barrier to entry, and is a more varied and intense experience on account of the constant newness and additional movements to familiarize myself with. It's harder to process what I see in the mirror than what I see in a picture. A doubtful part of me says it's not the healthy cope I idealically present, but I think it counts for something that I can finally identify with an image of myself and see my face clearly without hallucinating different features and proportions. For the first time in my life, I can see what I look like, and for the first time in my life, I'm happy with how I look.

[jascurka]

Hey, I gotta say i've been a fan of yours for a few years, and you're an extremely talented artist! Your expressions and the soft way you color makes everything seem almost comforting in most of your work, and it's really cool to see!!

I guess i haven't been caught up in a while cause i haven't watched mob psycho in a bit but i noticed you've gotten into mobrei

I'm not here to harass you or yell at you and i am not expecting a response, but i gotta say i understand, when you age up characters it makes the power dynamic seem balanced and ok, i understand these are characters you love a lot and fanart and fancontent is probably a big source of comfort

But encouraging such an unhealthy power dynamics especially as someone with a larger audience you gotta understand is not ok It's not about the characters and it's not about how you view it, it's about us as people needing to show that these unhealthy dynamics are not ok

if you found out your minor little brother was dating an adult you would be worried about him, if you found out your little brother who is now of age was dating an adult who was very close to him when he was a minor you would be worried about him

I'm not upset because it's mob psycho or if it was any other characters i'm upset because you're portraying something borderline pedophilic as ok

I'm honestly a little dissapointed to see that you've sort of adapted proshipping beliefs, yk at least what i can say about myself is that i'm not against proshippers because i hate shipping and i don't believe love is love

I'm against proshipping because incest, pedophilia, and other dynamics that lead to assault and imbalanced power are not ok and we shouldn't be teaching people especially minors that they are

The more content there is normalizing abusive power dynamics the more people think thats ok, the more minors can normalize it, the more minors can think its ok to date a family member or an adult or just anybody who may hurt them because they were taught that love conquers all differences even when that love is between a 14 year old and a 25 year old or even 18 and 29

Again i'm not trying to hate on you i'm not trying to yell or anything like that i just really hope that you'll read through this and just think about it at least a little bit again this isn't about characters this is about real life

Here are some things you need to realize:

The main purpose of my art isn't to be educational about healthy relationships and it's not focused on portraying "the right thing" all the time.

I assume enough emotional intelligence in my audience to recognise that the ships that I in fact label as problematic already - are flawed and are not healthy to happen in real life.

I want to explore nuanced or taboo things in my art but I'm also a sucker for lovey-dovey feel-good stories and it's not your business to convince me to draw ships more how you want them just so kids on tumblr can have a good example of what abuse looks like.

I am not encouraging anyone to pursue relationships like these! Real life is much more complex than what a scribble on tumblr can reflect on anyway. The content I make of these ships is purely fictional and isn't safe to enact in the real world.

I don't appreciate you trying to bring my relatives into this argument, you're being insensitive bringing them up at all. Of course I don't want anyone, not just my family, to stay in an unhealthy relationship. I think most sane people on earth would be against that, no? Do you just assume I'm okay with horrible things happening to people around me because I like to draw unhealthy and toxic ships?

I didn't "adapt" proship beliefs recently. Not harassing people for their fictional ships and stories has always been very easy for me, even if their content makes me uncomfortable. I prefer to block things I don't want to see over acting entitled about what someone draws or writes.

I already state on my page that my blog has sensitive and mature topics and viewer discretion is advised. I could always draw the "worse" aspects of the relationship or more "abusive" side of the ship so you won't have to reach far below the surface to find the problematic side of it, but I get the feeling you don't want me to do that - you just want me to stop drawing a pairing you find icky. I can add an additional disclaimer in my profile if this all wasn't enough for you but I won't stop drawing them holding hands and blushing until I get bored of it.

EDIT: I do want to thank you for the compliments on my art however, I forgot to add it yesterday.

[laylajeffany]

Word Count: 800,000+ (in-progress, with regular updates) Rating: T

Summary “Wednesday, you are so new to love’s torturous sting. It simply takes time to get used to the poison, my darling. You have to build up a tolerance for it. Then – you’ll start to wonder how you ever lived without it.”

Enid accidentally summons a demon in an attempt to communicate with her wolf, and somehow – that is not Wednesday’s biggest problem upon the return to Nevermore. With a raging suspicion that Principal Weems was not actually murdered, Wednesday starts to unravel her latest mystery while trying not to unravel herself. As emerging powers cause her to manifest physical symptoms, Wednesday has to learn to rely on those around her if she is going to grow as a Raven.

Ultra slow-burn WenClair, moving forward in an organic relationship, building from roommates to best friends to more. Picking up on some plot points from S1, Wednesday develops not only new abilities, but emotions and friendships as she examines her life through her new lens of Nevermore.

If you're new to this fic and unsure about starting due to the length, below the break will give you a spoiler-filled idea about when some of the major plot points/relationships happen.

Author's Note As I am squeezing in my writing time before vacation, I am reflecting on how proud I am of this fic. This is year 21 of writing fanfiction for me, and of course as we grow, our talents naturally increase, but I have never felt so accomplished about a piece of writing before. If you need some light reading (lmfao this fic will top one million words by the end of summer), I would like to recommend my own story. I don't ever do that and I probably won't do it again - but writing this fic has been such a bright spot in my life, and every opportunity I have to carve out a few thousand words I feel myself transcend.

When I received an old Addams Family book in the mail (here) a few weeks ago, I was flipping through and found the above summary of Wednesday. I have never felt more proud to be borrowing another character, as I feel that I do Charles Addams' Wednesday justice in this writing as we explore her sensitive/poetic side in addition to the harshness of her 2022 adaptation. (Don't worry - Enid will find Wednesday's sixth toe when she finally visits the Addams family home in Chapter 21.)

Chapters 1-5: Wenclair Roommate Friendship developing as Wednesday realized she'd genuinely missed Enid over the summer.

Main focus of early chapters is Wednesday trying to determine how Weems is alive, focusing on her powers starting to develop as physical symptoms and discovering more about how to tap in to her Raven abilities with the help of her mentor, the new administrator, Dr. Zypher. Dr. Zypher (39) is a herpetologist with a psychic ability to work with reptiles. She has been dating the only other known Raven, Emiliana, for 23 years, since they met via Larissa Weems at Nevermore. These two OCs have a very supportive and important role in the story. (We needed adults and ALL the important ones were killed off in S1. These OCs have been extremely well-received by the audience and are real people with flaws and strengths, distinct personalities. No Mary-Sues here, I promsie.)

Chapter 6: Enid breaks up with Ajax, Wednesday and Enid get closer than ever when the spirit Enid released attacks again. Wednesday vows to protect her. As Wednesday has found Weems trapped in her accidental shape-shift, she starts looking for divination-related ways to change her back. Wednesday starts to have to cope with very uncomfortable feelings that emerge from the ever-darkening of her visions as her powers start to grow massively.

Chapter 8: Wednesday starts to think she's closer to Enid than she ever has been to anyone else before. Wednesday learns about the importance of being vulnerable and showing some feelings. Starts to explore ways to protect Weems in her lower life form.

Chapter 10: Wednesday wonders what attraction is supposed to feel like, starts to think there may be something wrong with her. She knows what she is feeling for Enid is more than friendship but isn't experiencing physical attraction. Wednesday casts a powerful protection spell for Enid. Enid reveals that she imprinted on Wednesday during her first transformation and this has caused her extreme stress and alienation from her pack.

Chapter 11: Wednesday and Enid confront the spirit again. As it tries to possess Enid, Wednesday's protection spell holds and she confesses that night that she won't let anything happen to her because she loves her. She admits, she isn't sure if that love is romantic. Enid agrees with the sentiment and they decide to give it all more time. The girls start to work together to help Wednesday divert from the negative energy within her divination as part of her Raven nature to blend their energy together, earning more positive energy for Wednesday shared by Enid. Enid's mother is determined that Nevermore finds something to do about Enid's imprinting.

Chapter 13: Finally, the girls are dating after the full moon. It's adorable. Enid talks to her father and requests him to visit Nevermore.

Chapter 14: Things really take off with ways to help Weems transform Halloween - Wednesday temporarily banishes the spirit with Enid's help as they have grown so close.

Chapter 15: Wednesday starts to lose herself to divination a little bit as she becomes more desperate to complete the transformation on Weems. Dr. Zypher's Raven girlfriend arrives.

Chapter 16: Wednesday finally puts the pieces together and knows what she has to do to transform Weems. Enid's father arrives - she formally leaves her pack and considers Wednesday her main family. The Addams Family have accepted her whole-heartedly.

Chapter 17:-19 Successful transformation of Weems leads to extreme physical consequences for Wednesday. Lots of Wenclair Hurt/Comfort Wednesday resolves lots of tension with her family

Chapter 20: Closure of the first semester of events Wednesday invites herself into the "Nevermore Network" - an ambiguous concept alluded to throughout the story of how the Outcast world is all connected. These adults are increasingly interested in Wednesday's extreme shows of power and she goes behind her family/admin wishes to meet up with them when she returns to school in January.

Chapter 21: Yuletide & New Year - Enid at the Addams Family House

Chapter 22: Start of Second Semester at Nevermore Wednesday gets herself involved in some major drama within the Outcast community via the Nevermore Network Setting the stage for the second semester of events

[caluski]

again, a brief moment of self-reflection :-)

turning a little older yet again, i think its funny to see myself changing still. i wont lie that my life feels that much different from what it used to be - but other than boring things such as employment or housing or the lack of relationships, something has perhaps shifted in a bit quiet way, one you usually notice upon retrospection much later.

i think im still pretty much a hopeless romantic, in that stupid, proud, dramatic way that makes me absolutely fucking insufferable. everything must be either grand or tragic. obviously, its not a bad thing in itself, but it does make me far too self indulgent for my own good. i know i have to learn patience towards others, and domesticate my solitude, otherwise soon life will drive me even madder... there is a lot to reconsider when it comes to what i expect from life and people in my life, even if it feels like i overthought everything to death and back already.

the big goals for 29th year is definitely going back on meds. or should i say, finding meds that actually work for me. theres a lot that i want - such as moving out and becoming independent, having a stable job i dont have to worry about losing, or finding companionship in my daily life - but i want to be realistic just once. last year, i remember finding out about the layoffs right before summer ended, and i thought - my next job will be the one that fixes everything. obviously, its not, not yet at least. even the minimum wage aside, im annoyed with lots of aspects of it, so its far from perfect. i wish i could land a safe, corporate job that pays enough to keep me afloat on my own, but, well.

but like, other than all my actual flaws, i dont think my attempt to romanticize everything is that bad in itself. it does make good-but-normal things seem far too good to be true (like having friends, being loved, having a safe home - how can it ever be real for me, if its so beautiful???), but other than that, i do like the way it makes me feel. i like treating every coffee like the biggest blessing of the day. i like how good music makes me tear up. i like it when days are so good, theyll feel like a dream when i look back at them. i just have to keep it under a little bit of control. i have to get used to the thought that the world is not out there to cater for me, that i am not in fact the center of the universe, that everything goes on no matter what. i always liked the thought of being not the main character of life, but more of a best friend or love interest; youre still there, you can participate, you can be significant if you put your mind to it, but the world wont stop for you. also, i do like the sentiment of someone's main purpose in life being both giving and receiving of love. i might lack the brains and beauty for much more, but love, i think everyone is capable of, no matter what - and it includes me, in the end.

i want to spend more time taking pictures and listening to music. going to cafes and having long walks. i want to try going back to drawing. i wanna get better at writing - god, if this wall of text alongside all my other silly little posts arent a proof of that...... - which of course, means reading more, too. i wanna hear more live music. local, or maybe the big performances, if artists i like come over to warszawa or kraków or something. also, i wanna travel a little more. even if just to sit in a local cafe and watch the traffic. i wanna visit żmija (if youre reading this, i swearrrrrrr im not trying to invite myself over - but maybe if im in kraków or something, we could see each other closer to your home. which could also be fun because its such a big city, so much to see, so many cafes to experience. maybe a gay bar to visit? are there any worth dancing in?). and i do wanna continue collecting vinyls - slowly, as they are so costly, but still. and i do wanna become more outgoing, i want to take more risks, even if it leaves my stupid little heart sore and exposed.... rejection is inevitable, right? and i do want to catch up with romantic experiences, too. i want to feel something for someone again, even if its one-sided and desperate and miserable. but i miss it so badly, so so badly. i want to have someone to pour out my affection on - consensually. i want someone to want to be loved by me as i am, with all this mess of loud, intense feelings, without being freaked out. or maybe getting freaked out in a good way.

anyway. such a gloomy day calls for love & food playlist promo. have a good evening everyone! mwah

[prettysymbiosis]

I’ve been trying to get these thoughts out for days but basically I feel like the unifying theory of s16 (as I see it) is a conscious exploration of the dichotomy between sunny as a classically bold and brash pee pee poo poo comedy and sunny as a thoughtful, nuanced and subtle show about flawed people and also about itself, at times (by that I mean the meta isn’t always about macdennis or the other characters but about sunny itself - win an award, clip show, big mo, etc). the trailer actually captures this dichotomy well through the dialogue clips and animations, as well as the pinned comment which said “get ready for a whole lot of subtlety.” it’s still so baffling to me that sunny can simultaneously read as one of the most loud, obnoxious, unsubtle shows ever on television, OR it can be so subtle and allegorical in the writing of later seasons that most viewers would think people like us are crazy for reading so much into it even though we’re really not. this kind of self-reflective flavor is another product of the rewatch/podcast project which has been almost universally agreed to have had a very positive effect on the writing.

anyway having said that, I want to just share my notes on the first two episodes without trying to edit them too much. I’m bolding the points that I personally haven’t seen anyone else mention yet and putting a 😎 next to ones that evoke a Classic Sunny VibeTM because that’s important to the experiment of this season.

the gang inflates

macden fun/domestic/DUMB again 😎

something something never committing to the couch when it was absurd not to and it ended up costing them so much macdennis blah blah

dennis hanging up on dee was so funny to me oops 😎

and the WHOLE dee (as a character and specifically the female character) thing about being minimized to an absurd degree. I like to think the bog was a turning point for dee and the show is gonna do better by her now hopefully by recognizing her plight in a more serious way, like the way the guys have been doing?

are mac and dennis…… you know…… like for real??? as many have said, it could totally be revealed kind of retroactively to undercut the shock and be like “honestly we’re surprised you didn’t notice sooner” I feel like that is something rcg would do. suggestive clues:

“I don’t wanna talk to you about–” “a TON”

or is dennis like well that’s news to me jealous vibes??

“I figured you were man” ??

���I’m getting a little concerned about our nut”

“you truly have no reason to be sleeping with frank”

they specifically put a lil reaction shot of dennis after mac says “that’s a lotta blowin” a la the lil grin in gets romantic and, well, I just think that’s a choice that was made

“it’s not homophobic” is that so?????

when mac is like “you think we got rid of our furniture too soon/that the business plan won’t work” it’s kinda like no it’s not the committing to what they have, it’s that mac still has big denial problems and dennis can’t work with that… maybe? but so does dennis tbh

in a show-meta sense it’s like, we should be less worried about whether the gay gay-ass love story will alienate people and more worried about how these characters are too ridiculous to even let the love story play out effectively. they need mental health days if we are ever to have nice things

it’s possible mac denying his reaction to the allergy has to do with his body dysmorphia?

also it occurred to me that maybe part of why rob is clean-shaven this season is so they could do those prosthetics more easily?

those handprints though…. I hate everything

oh also just the bed scene. its existence

the zoomed in neck touch of course

“I’m not going to do it!” “..okay” dennis keepin his cool :)

mac’s shirt! COOLER HEADS PREVAIL

just the sheer silliness of inflatable furniture - is there some metaphor here lol?

in a general sense could inflates be taken to mean flanderizes? also maybe it’s just implied but I noticed I hadn’t actually seen anyone mention inflation as a sexual kink and like, that was part of the intention right? if so, 😎

charlie “uhhhhhhhh… yep.” poor charlie :( he doesn’t want to live in a maze (like a rat)

“well then you’re just like being a predator” :( so here for charlie calling out bullshit with frank and mrs. mac and even his own mom so far in these first two eps

charlie just giving up and yelling in frustration which is kinda what bonnie does in ep2 (and ep3 based on trailer)

the gross horny male objectifying thing 😎

rob put his whole pussy into this episode

charlie saying “I don’t get why he doesn’t take me seriously” and dee saying “that’s gotta be maddening” 🙃

cats in the alley my loves 😎

gluing dee a pillow on the wall <3

“consider it an offering” “of war??” this says so much. must everything be a conflict?

charlie’s hair looks so crazy and good in the sleepover scene and also he’s so smart

charlie asks frank to “return everything to the status quo” by the end of the episode, sitcom style. full reset, no progression. except charlie is asking that frank not endlessly take advantage of the fact that mac and den can’t figure their shit out, not totally push dee out just because it’s easy, not make light of the trauma charlie has from what happened to him. all that stuff IS the status quo! so what is he really asking for? this is one of the bits of writing that I think is also about the show as a show, and how they’ve approached these dynamics forever. 

it’s funny that people are saying this season is such a return to form because it is, but it’s also so much more self-aware of what that form is/was and how deeper elements can coexist within it. they’re really walking with a foot in both worlds here and they’re doing it well. love this for them and for us, the people who know what it’s always sunny in philadelphia is REALLY about

“we’ll take you to the hospital, and they’ll have nuts. and you can– you can die there.” hahahah

[drivinmeinsane]

I saw that Sebastian/Jacob is being established as a pairing in the fandom. What are your thoughts on them?

I think that they are a perfectly fine ship! I can see how it could appeal to quite a few people. It certainly has merit and all the trappings of being something substantial.

My personal feelings on the pairing are neutrally aligned because La La Land and Crazy, Stupid, Love did not particularly speak to me, and I find the characters of Jacob Palmer and Sebastian Wilder to be... uncompelling. Due to the lackluster feelings on my end, I don’t believe that they are a pairing I would write more than a (requested) drabble or Goosemas one-shot for.

That being said, you did ask for my thoughts on them rather than my opinions. I consider those to be separate things, so let’s get into those thoughts. Warning for incoming rambling under the cut.

Starting with Jacob;

As the movie shows us, he is an incredibly lonely individual, cripplingly so. He can barely function on his own. Jacob seeks to fill the void in his life anything that can be even a temporary balm on the wound. He tells us, via Hannah, that he got addicted to shopping channels. The rush caused by the act of purchasing material goods gave him a high, a distraction, something to focus on other than his reality. Eventually, he turned to picking up people at bar(s) when the dopamine rush was no longer enough and he realized that obtaining physical things didn’t lead to any meaningful sense of accomplishment. The alcohol he drinks loosens him up, numbs every negative emotion into something bearable. It allows him to believe that he can feel loved, wanted. If he drinks right to the edge of overdoing it, the hurt of his bed partners leaving will be less. Besides, it’s just a one-night stand, he doesn’t do relationships so the taste of having something real will not be ruined when it inevitably ends. The heartbreak is less. It is something manageable this way. He’s soaked in insecurity and covers it up with bravado. He’s all flash and no substance. His clothes, his house, his mannerisms, and his life all reflect the notion of what the ideal man is in his own mind. We see this image in the way he molds Cal into the “perfect” specimen.

Moving onto Sebastian;

We’re told time and time again that Seb is a dreamer. He is a romantic, always looking to the stars and ignoring his reality. All of that comes crashing down on him with impact of the wrecking ball that is Mia. He set aside his own dreams for a dose of reality and came out of it successful but alone. We never get to see how that loneliness affects him post-relationship, but I imagine there is a renewed hole in his life that he once again tries to fill with jazz. After all, at the start of the movie his sister was worried about him and wanted him to date. He likely does not do well on his own and adsorbs himself in his obsessions, neglecting himself in the process. He changed his entire life for the sake of someone else, regardless if it was wanted or not. His fatal flaw is that he assumes that he knows what is best for everyone and everything. He is stubborn in that way, sensitive to criticism. However, even past his breaking point, he regathers himself and apologizes and shows support. Enthusiasm comes easily to him. He is affected by emotions, overflowing with them. Love and light explode from within him when it comes to the things that he is passionate about. Anger rise escape just as easily. He can either consume or let his light be snuffed out. He would allow himself be molded if it was done by someone he loved. We have seen it before.

Together;

Jacob is in need of someone that carries the sheer exuberance of the relationship. Seb needs someone who will adore his eccentricities. They both need someone who will stick around. Both men are supportive and needy, loyal to a fault. They both crave reassurance due to the internalized insecurities they are plagued by. They are both stubborn in their own ways. The world could be crumbling around them and, yet, they would not be swayed from what they really care about. Ideally, I think that Sebastian's quirks would relax some of the strain Jacob feels to be perfect. Jazz is messy and wild, it's never the same. It is a contrast to the sterility of canned piano and a home straight out of a minimalist magazine. I think that Jacob in return would be able to tame Sebastian, to reel in some of that impulsive nature. Like a pair of scales, they could balance each other out. Give and take. Neither would be able to eclipse the other. Their relationship would have to contain considerable amounts of trust from both parties. Jacob would have to trust Sebastian to not get too lost in his love for jazz and believe that he would always come back to him no matter how far away his might career take him. Sebastian would have to have faith that Jacob wouldn't wander away to take up with someone more socially acceptable and that he truly is content with him.

[alterchaos]

Welcome to Alter Chaos!

click "keep reading" for the table of contents as well as an intro, about info, and links to both my side blog and discord

Have you ever listened to a good song and imagined yourself in an epic fight scene? That is exactly how Alter Chaos was created! Music has been a huge form of escapism for me in my struggles as a teen and even now as a young adult. For over ten years, I slowly built up a Sonic au in my head with an attempt at connecting all the games, shows, comics, etc. I imagined myself as part of the action, using my daydreaming to cope and even work through many of the problems I faced in my daily life. For instance, if I got into a fight, I would pick a character who was similar and imagine how I'd work things out with them before addressing real life again. It was my safe space and one I had absolutely NO intention of sharing.

Well...we all know how that turned out, right?

In 2023, I finally caved and mentioned my little self-insert au to a group I was in at the time. With some encouragement, I drew a few concepts...then some more...then it sort of just...came together. When I became serious about it, I considered for a while if I should've replaced my oc with another character, not wanting to turn my story into a journey of self-aggrandizement. Ultimately though, I decided that I wanted to keep the self-insert element and use it as a way to self-reflect and allow others to insert themselves as well. It helped motivate me to be realistic about both my strengths and my flaws as a person, and I believe it's helped me grow as a result.

Despite the many hurdles this series has faced over the course of its lifetime from struggles in my confidence as a writer to finding my voice and identity, I'm proud of what it's become today. When I think about it, the ups and downs it's faced since the very first chapter are so reminiscent of what life is, and that's the exact kind of energy I wanted to capture. It's what makes life beautiful...meaningful...and I hope that this series can give out that same feeling to all of you.

Thank you all so much for reading Alter Chaos and giving me the chance to share stories and messages so near and dear to my heart.

Please enjoy the show!

A BIT OF CAUTION:

This series is rated PG-13. While individual chapters will have warnings, know that this series as a whole will involve some heavy content from blood and body horror to depictions of bullying and depression. The purpose of this kind of content is not to be as dark or angsty as possible, rather to show real struggles and ways they can be managed or overcome. That and...I'm a bit of a horror fan (especially in special effects and makeup).

Reader discretion is always advised.

Also for anyone worried, I don't do smut. I enjoy a good ship or romance but we're keeping it cute here. No unnecessary melodrama either. I'm a fan of healthy, loving partnerships, however that presents itself. And no, my oc is NOT shipped with Sonic...or any Mobians for that matter...that'd be weird (raises eyebrow at 06).

A BIT ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

I'll make this short and sweet. Hi everyone! I'm Eve (the one and only haha). I'm only kidding. Writing these stories has actually been a very humbling experience for me. There's always a new technique to learn and incredible artists to be inspired by. Seriously, the Sonic Community has some TALENTED individuals! ♡

Let's see...I guess I should give some sort of list or blurb to help you all get to know me outside of my character. While she's accurate in as many ways as possible, she's more reflective of me as a kid and, believe me, I've changed a LOT since I was a kid...I think. Here's some basic rapid-fire facts to help:

Star Sign: Taurus (yup, I'm a stubborn one)

Favorite Color: a light, rosy pink

Personal Style: casual but cute

Favorite Food: mashed potatoes and mac n' cheese (so cozy...)

Favorite Movie: How to Train Your Dragon 2

Favorite Videogame: Sonic Unleashed/Kingdom Hearts 2

Favorite Sonic Character: Silver and Jason's Sonic

Sonic Character I'm Most Like: Tails. I'm a complete nerd who can ramble for hours and lose myself in a project.

Favorite Sonic Moment: the "Live Life" speech

What Got Me into Art: I wanted to be a Disney animator as a kid

Biggest Strengths: humor/perseverance/compassion (p.s. I am the self-proclaimed "pun queen". Challenge me if you dare.)

Biggest Struggles: self-doubt/difficulty trusting others/social anxiety

Weird Fact: I have a near-photographic memory. Between that and my love of chocolate, I'm basically just Chip if he, like, ate the camera or something.

You can follow my regular Tumblr here for content outside of Alter Chaos -> THE CHAO GARDEN

NEW

Be sure to check out the ALTER CHAOS DISCORD SERVER here

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

💎 BEGINNINGS 💎 💎🌌 THE SPIRIT'S REQUIEM SAGA 🌌💎 💎��� ALTER EARTH SAGA 🌆💎

💎🌎 ALTER EARTH ADVENTURES 🌎💎 💎🚀 METAREX SAGA 🌸💎 💎🎸 A HERO'S PURPOSE SAGA 🎻💎 💎🖤 SHADOW SAGA 💛💎

💎🌎 MOBIUS ADVENTURES ACT 1 🌎💎 💎🔥 SEVEN RINGS SAGA 🌟💎 💠🌕 THE MOONBEAST SAGA 🌙💎

STAY TUNED FOR MORE

FIRST CHAPTER: THE BIRTH OF A LEGEND

LATEST CHAPTER: TEARS

[kmsml]

241003 Red Velvet's Joy Birthday Party Pamphlet

One day, suddenly, the deepest part of my heart started speaking to me. Who am I? What am I doing right now? What is the reason I’m living for, what could it possibly be?

I couldn’t provide any answers. No matter where I went or what I did, the existence within me posed difficult questions to the real me, locking me in the darkness, tightening around me so that I could barely breathe. It seems like I’ve been playing this push-and-pull game with myself for quite some time, without anyone knowing. I was too busy avoiding and running from this confusion. I had so much work to do, I thought these deep thoughts were merely an overly emotional part of my nature that interfered with my tasks.

But in the end, it all exploded. The habit of finding only my flaws under the pretext of self-reflection eventually broke me. I could no longer control myself. I had always thought that whatever I lacked could be compensated for with mental strength, so I kept pushing myself hard, thinking that was the only way I could feel at ease. But suddenly, my body stopped listening. The more I pushed myself, the more my body collapsed as if mocking me, and the unexpected symptoms made me anxious, fearing I might collapse or lose breath at any moment.

That anxiety brought great despair and helplessness, along with deep depression from the realization that I couldn’t even take care of my own body. I hit a wall. I felt like I could no longer hide my weakest, most pitiful self, and I was terrified of stepping into the world. At that time, I became like a lost child in an unfamiliar place, endlessly waiting for someone to protect me. And so, I retreated deep into what I considered the safest place—my room. As I closed the blackout curtains in the room, I also closed the curtains of my heart to avoid being hurt, constantly pondering my reason for existence in the darkness I created.

I recall my younger self. I loved imagining and dreaming. But I was often misunderstood because I was quiet and expressionless, so people misread my intentions, and there were times when I couldn’t answer because I was lost in thought. I was even scolded for being a mystery, as if no one could figure out what was going on in my head. The world seemed to prefer a brave child who could live in the present reality over a child who dreamed of ideals, especially when I, the eldest daughter, had many responsibilities and tasks to complete each day. Growing up, I became cautious, fearing I’d be labeled strange if I rambled on about things only I could understand.

Maybe that’s why. Gradually, it became more comfortable to be alone, writing, singing, and fantasizing about things. Being around people sometimes felt uncomfortable. I didn’t think anyone could understand me. I was busy hiding my true self to maintain the image I had built or, perhaps, because I didn’t want to disappoint the adults around me by breaking that image. Even so, like the lyrics of The Little Mermaid's song, I realized that humans are lonely creatures when alone, so despite my clumsiness, I wanted to be with people somehow. I was so afraid of being excluded. I worried about how I could fit in without standing out too much and live an ordinary life among others. But on the other hand, I feared that if I showed people my true self, they would leave me. Because of that fear, I couldn’t fully open my heart, and I spent a lot of time suffering alone behind the walls I built for myself.

In that way, I ignored my suppressed self while only my outer shell grew, becoming an adult who was overly conscious of others. I didn’t know my own standards, preferences, or opinions. Because the real me hadn’t grown, I accepted other people's opinions and standards as correct. I was always busy adjusting myself to fit into those ambiguous standards. That was me. But unlike me, The Little Mermaid accepts her thoughts and feelings as they are, longing for a new world. She breaks free of her shell and courageously pursues her dreams despite the pain.

Before preparing for this birthday party, I only knew The Little Mermaid’s ending as either Disney’s happy ending—"And they lived happily ever after"—or the sad ending—"In the end, she turned into sea foam." But Hans Christian Andersen’s original The Little Mermaid was different. In Andersen's original, the mermaid’s sisters advise her to stab the prince's heart while he sleeps so she can become a mermaid again. But she couldn’t bring herself to harm the prince she loved and, instead, wished for his happiness and chose to throw herself into the sea, turning into foam. However, the heavens were moved by her beautiful sacrifice and good deeds, so rather than disappearing into sea foam, she became a spirit of the air and ascended to heaven with the angels.

In Andersen's original, mermaids live for 300 years but lack a soul, so after 300 years, they simply vanish. However, because The Little Mermaid sincerely blessed the prince and princess and overcame both the physical pain of becoming human and the emotional pain of letting go of the person she loved, she sought goodness and was granted eternal life as a spirit of the air. It’s said that Andersen wrote this story while feeling the deep pain of unrequited love, as the person he had long loved was marrying someone else. The idea of truly blessing the happiness of the one you love, offering your love selflessly without expecting anything in return—that profound message deepened my affection for the story of The Little Mermaid.

This is also why I chose "The Reason for Existence" as the theme for the birthday party. To the Lovies who always shout, "Soo-young! When you smile, I feel happy too!"—I have felt a deep, mature love from them. Even when I was briefly walking through the dark tunnel that everyone goes through at least once, they waited for me, worrying about me first and cheering me on. I wanted to express my sincere gratitude and true feelings to them. Unlike my younger self, who often stumbled, I now want to share the story of the original The Little Mermaid, who fully accepted her inner self, continued to grow, and eventually broke free from the predefined mold to discover her true self.

I remember standing in front of the fans after much recovery. I was scared. I wanted to show nothing but a completely happy smile, but I was afraid I might not be able to do so. However, I vividly remember the warm embrace of the Lovies, who greeted me with kind smiles, as if they knew all of my struggles without me having to say a word. Perhaps the tall figure I desperately wished for, the one who would be there for me in my subconscious, is actually the Lovies standing right in front of me. My limitations were never overcome alone. So many warm hearts have been worrying about me, comforting me, and praying for me. I couldn’t be happier because of that. I’m so grateful for this time when I’m no longer alone.

Now, I make a promise. Everyone will go through a long, dark tunnel in life at least once. In those moments, I will not turn away from you. I will be the bright light and joy that helps you safely find your way out. Because of that dark time and because you were there protecting me, I am now the happiest when I stand on stage. When I feel the warm hearts cheering for me from the audience, I fully understand why I need to keep living, why I need to keep performing on stage—the reason for my existence resonates throughout my body. Because of you, I will continue to live strongly. I will remember the kindness you’ve given me for a long time. Even if the world ends, I hope kindness lasts forever. I believe that a delicate and kind heart can comfort not just one person but the entire world.

Like me, who mustered up the courage to send out this letter, I sincerely hope this resonates and brings comfort to those who are pondering their own reason for existence. To the Lovies who helped me find the direction of my life and the reason for my being, I send my endless gratitude and love.

맑음쨩 💚 on X: "241003 조이 생일파티 둥파 팜플렛 어느 날 문득, 내 마음 깊은 곳의 내가 나에게 말을 걸어왔다. 나는 누구일까? 지금 뭘 하고 있는 걸까? 내가 살고 있는 이유, 그게 도대체 뭘까? 아무런 답도 할 수 없었다. 어디를 가도 무엇을 해도 내 안의 존재는 실제의 나에게 어려운 질문을 던지고, 어둠 https://t.co/tozRN55PMe" / X

[suburbandevil]

Perhaps this is a hot take, but despite all of the drama and maybe questionable editing/writing; Don’t Worry Darling is a good horror movie. I’m not here to talk about the flaws of the movie, that can be it’s whole own thing. What I want to say has been swimming around in my mind since I first saw it. Don’t Worry Darling is a horror movie FOR WOMEN. This movie I guess is more so classified in the psychological thriller or mystery genre, but watching this as someone who identifies as a women felt like a true honest to god horror movie. And I think any women would agree, especially if they’ve had a man in their lives who would do to them what Jack did to Alice. There’s a reason why movies like the Purge series haunt us so much, and that it is because it’s a horror we don’t have to suspend our disbelief for. If things went a certain way it’s a plausible situation, or at least feels like one. I feel like a lot of the reviews I’ve seen for this movie come from men (I’m not going to focus on the ones that just went for Harry), and they always feel like they are missing the point of the story. This story feels very real to me because I’ve known men who were deranged enough to do something like that. Hell there are plenty of famous criminal cases of men doing something similar to what the story is to so many women in the world. It’s horrifying because it’s possible. The fear that comes with being a women; to always having to be on guard, to feeling like you always have to look over your shoulder, to fearing men because you never know which one is crazy enough to take advantage of you in some way. It’s all so real and raw. Don’t Worry Darling is one of the first real looks at that (at least to me), and the horrifying danger women are in because of mens warped perception of women. The fear and discomfort I felt in that movie theater when I first saw it could not be overlooked, and I don’t think it should be for any women who felt the same. I hate that this movie has been practically forgotten in favor of the drama surrounding it because it really is good (though I would have loved to have seen it as a limited series), and it shows something so real and powerful and honest that I thought I’d never see on the big screen. A real reflection of the horror I’ve experienced at the hands of a man.

[hologramcowboy]

I always find it interesting how your feelings towards Jensen come from a strange protectiveness... Like you kinda love him like a mom or something like that. I don’t know how to phrase it but when I read your appreciation posts about him I feel a deep affection, when you are critical of him I feel like it is coming from a mom-like worry for her son not doing good in career or ruining himself in addiction etc. It makes me curious about you, your parasocial relationship with him (I guess I can use this term here) is unique from the normal stans who generally crushes over a celebrity.

I'm touch with his industry so when I pick on things he does wrong it's because I know what works and what does not and my wish is for him to do the things that elevate his career. Which makes extra critical because I know what he could be but he'll never be that because hetakes advice from incompetent people, it seems.

As for him being a celebrity, I have colleagues who are big stars but that doesn't make me react any differently. I look at people's personalities, their hearts, their status is irrelevant to me. Especially since I know a lot of the people placed on pedestals are some of the most toxic people you will ever meet. The image stars craft doesn't always coincide with their real self, I'll just leave it at that.

I feel deep reverance and affection for Jensen for personal reasons I cannot share on this blog. However, I also realize that they way I feel doesn't necessarily reflect when it comes to who he is. In other words, I own and adore my feelings without expecting him to live up to them as lately he seems very different from the gut feelings I have about him. All of my feelings were proven in the past but I guess people change over time, especially when under not so good influences.

This stings my pride but yes, I am deeply protective of Jensen. I think any woman that is in touch with her femininity is influenced greatly by her maternal instinct and that does not extend to just children, it extends to everyone we may deeply care about. It's what makes women unique, they are nurturers. Jensen also shares some qualities in common with me, which also makes me extra protective because I understand the underlying dynamics and how certain things could hurt him.

As for crushing, that's a beautiful and healthy thing to have as long as it does not take away your sense of self, your self worth and your ability to follow your bliss. I love that people love him, nothing makes me happier, but they shouldn't be obsessed to the point of losing out on their own life and goals. Which is what most Jenneel/Jensen fans do. They superseed their live with Jenneel's values and spend their life obsessed with them instead of making their own dreams come true. I know it's a hard pill to swallow but actors are just people, flaws and all, and unless they are your colleagues and you can learn from them, there is little to no point obsessing over them. Even if they were your colleagues, placing them on a pedestal instead of acknowledging that you have all the qualities you need will only block you from achieving your goals. It's perfectly fine to have mentors, I recommend it but the relationship need to be a healthy one.

Appreciation is super healthy and so is inspiration but when you take it to extremes and superseed your life with other people's values instead of your own you lose control over your own life. It truly breaks my heart to see young girls so caught up in their para-social relationship that they are not able to appreciate themselves and follow their dreams because most of their energy goes into worshipping Jensen/Danneel which steals time from their actual goals and dreams.

I sometimes wish I could write a self help book for these girls/boys to get them back into slaying their self branding and goals instead of stuck on regurgitating old Jenneel content or chasing cons instead of investing in classes, projects that make their life. It seems these people have taken para-social relationships and made them the center of their lives and that is endlessly sad. Not only that, they have denaturalized feelings and focus on consuming, objectifying. It's not only a one sided relationship, it's a selfish, entitled, dehumanizing one.

I don't even think I fit in the para-social relationship category because I don't have any relationship with Jensen. Ultimately, he is a stranger and one that is seeming quite off more and more. While, in the past, I was happy to meet him, I'm not sure I could say the same today. However, at an artistic level, I have a deep reverence for everything he represents and could be and I also have an inner image I grew up with that he resembles in incredible ways so much so I often wonder if maybe I saw him somewhere as a child and internalized that image ever since as an ideal.

Thank you for bringing up para-social relationships as it is a key topic within fandom, I wish people had more awareness on this because everything has it's up sides as long as there is balance but once there is lack of it, para-social relationships can become very taxing. This is why I always encourage people, whatever you admire in someone, no matter how big or impossible, get out a piece of paper and ask yourself "When and how have I displayed this exact trait?" and don't stop until you come up with a list of answers. This will allow you to recognize that those qualities you go ga ga over are very much a part of you and you will be able to love people from a centered, balanced place inside instead of placing them on unrealistic pedestals and creating limitations for yourself.

Thank you for sharing your perspective 🥰, I didn't think my nurturing instinct was coming through, neither deep affection, I try to keep my posts as dettached as possible but obviously there is a why behind them and I guess it comes through more than I realized. Being a very proud, private individual, I kinda hate that. lol I will definitely do some inner digging as I'm looking to estinguish those feelings.

Will end this post with one important wish: While it's beautiful people enjoy Jensen/Danneel/etc, I hope they find their own Jensen(or whoever their ideal is) in their real life or become like him/her (if that's what they want) instead of being absorbed by another's life. I hope they get to live their own version of whatever is most perfect to them instead of turning mediocre people into gods. No one should be the god of your life. You can appreciate people without losing self value and without foregoing the importance of your own presence and impact on this world. I wish the same for Jensen, for him to live his highest ideals in every area of his life. We only have one life so let's all live authentically according to our highest values. 💕