#and work things out. and cas so desperately wanting to be /asked/ to stay. wanting to get past this.

[angelsdean]

thinking abt plot points for my divorce arc fic and just. the deliciousness of dean and cas in a Situation where they definitely need to work together and cas's first thought immediately is, "how can i go off on my own and fix this problem for us" and dean catching him getting ready to take off (without telling anyone!!!!) like !! are u fucking serious rn. like yea yea "i left but you didn't stop me" ok ok but what about, "you keep leaving over and over which sends the message that you don't really want to be here" (even if that's not the intended message) and he's just honoring your (percieved) wishes by letting you go, even if it kills him inside to see you leave (again. and again. and again.)

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: provocative dancing, slight Sam x Reader, jealous Dean

Chapter Word Count: 4211

—-MDNI—-

A/N: aaaaahhhhhhhh sorry this one took ages. I suddenly had a bunch of personal things going on so I struggled to find the time. Also this chapter is wild, I’m so sorry for the complete train wreck that it is. I just keep writing without questioning it too much. But yeah same as always pls let me know of any errors as I am the only one who proof reads this shit.

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Please read the below first:

Prologue Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 Chapter 7

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 8 - Part 1

Morning soon rolled around; my alarm waking me from my deep dreamless sleep, eyes wearily blinking open as I stared blankly at the old ceiling. Turning off the repetitive beeping, I flung back the covers and climbed out of bed, pacing to the bathroom to freshen up before heading down to breakfast. I was in desperate need of a laundry day as I was down to my last couple of clean items: a cropped black tank top that said ‘Singers Salvage Yard’ across the front in old cracked and over washed lettering, paired with a short denim skirt with frayed edges. It was an a-line fit a long time ago, but as I got older and my figure changed it just got tighter and shorter. I don’t even know why I still have the thing. Paired with my boots and some comfy socks poking over the top of them, I looked like I should be getting paid to wash cars. I grimaced, knowing full well that Dean was going to make a comment.

Dean.

My mind raced back to last night with his parted lips and black lustful eyes - I couldn’t tell if he wanted to push me against a wall or be at my mercy, it was hard to say. Both sounded spectacular.

I strode into the central study room where the boys did all their research, looking for my flannel when I noticed a figure out of the corner of my eye. Instinct took over and I grabbed the nearest item to me - a lamp from the middle of the table - and held it up like a bat, ready to swing. The man flinched but held up his hands, an apologetic expression on his ruggedly handsome face.

“I didn’t mean to frighten you,” his voice was monotone despite his peaceful words.

“Who the fuck are you?!”

“CAS!” Suddenly Deans voice rang through the open room and we both spun to see him standing where I had just walked in, Sam following behind.

“Dean I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle her, I wasn’t expecting you to have visitors,” this Cas guy spoke, his tone forever unchanging.

“This is (Y/n), Bobby’s niece. She’s staying with us for a while to help with research,” he explained, before turning to me and giving me a stern look, holding his hand out.

“(Y/n) give me the lamp.”

I did as he asked, placing the cool metal into his palm as he returned it to the table. We shared a look for a second and I was unsure of the meaning behind it - was he mad about me almost bludgeoning his friend? Was it because I was going to use a lamp of all things? Or was it about last night, and the fact I left him hanging? Who knows, but I’m sure I’ll hear about it later. Dean was about to turn away when the monotone voice of Cas spoke up.

“I’m sorry (Y/n), please forgive me for startling you. Although…” he paused, looking me up and down and then almost knowingly between myself and Dean, “I have personally been caught off guard here as well - I was unaware that Dean was involved with someone.”

“Excuse me?” I blinked up at Cas, getting ready to snatch that lamp back. I saw Dean pinch the bridge of his nose and mutter an ‘oh boy’ under his breath.

“You’re sexual endeavours with Dean,” Cas looked at me like I was the one missing something here. Clearly I am. Cas continued, “you’ve been intimate, have you not? This means that you are a couple from what I’ve learned.” Suddenly his eyes went wide and he looked straight at Dean.

“Or is this a pizza man situation?”

“CAS STOP TALKING,” Dean bellowed, embarrassment creeping across his face. I’m assuming he’s not used to that emotion as he was getting very frustrated. I couldn’t help but stand there in disbelief.

“How the actual FUCK do you know about me and Dean after saying that you weren’t aware of me even being here before you arrived?”

“He can smell it,” Dean said quietly, arms now crossed over his chest.

“What?”

“He can smell… me… on you,” as the words left his lips, his eyes locked with mine for a split second sending a jolt down my spine and hair prickling on my skin. I tore my eyes away from him and looked back at Cas.

“So wait, this weirdo can smell that I slept in one of Deans T-shirts last night?”

“You slept in one of his shirts?” Sam asked, piping up for the first time since this conversation started. Dean grinned like the cat that got the cream, embarrassment dissipating for a second.

“Yeah, she did.”

“Hmmm,” Cas mumbled, “No it’s not just that… It’s stronger, like there is part of Dean in her somehow. Or at least there was; not so much anymore.”

My eyes went as wide as the moon and my cheeks felt like they’d been set on fire.

“OH MY GOD,” I hid my face in my hands, wanting the ground to swallow me up. Whilst I tried to hide my entire existence, Dean cackled, leaving Sam confused.

“I don’t get it, what’s going on?” He asked, looking between all three of us. I couldn’t say a word through the white hot embarrassment, which left Dean to explain. He turned and looked Sam dead in the eye.

“You know how much I love pie, Sam,” he paused to see if Sam was catching on, which he wasn’t so Dean continued. “All sorts of pie. Like, uh, apple pie, cherry pie… cream pie…” Sam’s eyes shot open as wide as they could and he almost went as red as me.

“Nope!” He declared, promptly spinning on his heel and leaving. Cas looked confused.

“I smell no pie here.”

“Never mind, Cas,” Dean patted him on the shoulder before urging him to catch up with Sam who I’m assuming is in the kitchen by now. When it was just Dean and I left I peered at him through my fingers, my face still burning up.

“Dean what the fuck just happened?!”

He tried to suppress his laughter, explaining that Cas was in fact ‘Castiel’ and an Angel of the Lord, which explained his rigid behaviour and a weirdly strong set of senses.

“Why didn’t you butt in and explain who he was before everything got so embarrassing!”

“To be honest it was all pretty hilarious.”

“No it wasn’t! That was NOT an enjoyable moment!”

“Ok I’m sorry,” Dean paused, looking down at me with softer eyes, a slight smile still on his lips. He stepped closer and I pushed on his chest.

“You better be! You owe me big time for that one Winchester.”

He grinned as the furious redness on my face simmered down, just leaving a pink glow on my cheeks.

“Ok ok! Look let's just go and get some breakfast and put this behind us,” he put his hand on the small of my back, urging me towards the kitchen. I hummed, walking with him. There were a few moments of silence as we made our way down before he suddenly spoke up again.

“Did you know that he once smelt a bladder infection on a dead guy?”

*

Breakfast was uneventful. I was unable to make eye contact with Castiel, and it seemed that Sam was unable to make eye contact with me. Dean however was completely unphased. Once we were all finished and I’d cleared everything away I made my way to my room, grabbed my dirty clothes and then headed to the laundry room - today was going to be a practical one as I officially had nothing else to wear. Upon arriving I couldn’t help but grimace; a mountain of mens clothes covered in mud, blood and black goop sat in the middle of the floor by the washers.

“Gross…” I winced, the smell of dirt and iron filling my nose as I got closer and poked the pile with a pipe I found off to the side. I half expected the mass of clothes to sprout legs and walk off. The boys could probably find lore on the thing with how long its been sitting here. I huffed, scooping my hair into a high ponytail before shoving a bunch of my washing in a machine and turning it on before returning for face the Winchesters laundry. I can’t leave it here, that goes against everything clean and hygienic that I stand for. I could burn it? They would definitely complain about having to replace all the plaid shirts. Should I sort it or just hope for the best? Do I check the pockets? Knowing all the crap they carry around, I should definitely check the pockets before a load of bullets or a hex bag goes through one of the machines. I set to work, sorting out colours, blacks and whites - unable to differentiate between lights and darks at times - and search every pocket as I go. The amount of women’s phone numbers I find on napkins and receipts is ridiculous. I can’t help but feel a little deflated, knowing I’m probably just a name on Deans list. I put them to the side in a pile, keeping them separate from the numbers from Sam’s pockets. I load up another machine and turn it on, picking up the stacks of numbers and leaving the room.

I find the boys sitting in their usual places at the tables, surrounded by piles of books and files. Castiel was nowhere to be seen. I walk up to them and slide the collection of phone numbers over to them.

“I thought you might want to keep these,” I said, not understanding the tone in my own voice. They both took a few seconds to realise what it was that I was handing them and they both responded in an abashed manner, shooting each other a knowing look before staring at the accumulation of digits, not once making eye contact with me. Sam nodded a quick ‘thank you’ before I turned to leave, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him crumple them up and throw them away in a carrier bag on the floor next to him. At the same time, I caught Dean shoving his collection into his jacket pocket, which was hung on the back of his chair. I hastened my actions and turned away quicker, not wanting to have the knowledge that he was keeping them. A pang of something shot through my chest, and I couldn’t tell if it was jealousy, sadness, rage or self pity. Whatever it was, I needed to get the fuck away from Dean.

*

A few hours passed and I was still sorting laundry. My clothes were officially clean and dry and away in my room, however the task at hand was now the clothes belonging to the Winchester boys. I was a few minutes away from the final load of washing being dry, and I’d managed to arrange the clothing into piles of ‘definitely Sam’ and ‘definitely Dean’, with a ‘really not sure’ pile in the middle. The jeans were easy enough to tell apart and due to Deans T-shirt I wore to bed last night, I now knew that he wore a slightly larger shirt size than his younger brother. I guess he had bigger shoulders, despite Sam being taller. My train of thought snapped as I suddenly heard a door slam upstairs and a female voice call out. I recognised the voice immediately. I stopped everything I was doing and headed upstairs, my feet carrying me with purpose as I reached the study room; Sam and Dean also emerging from another corridor.

“Charlie!” Dean beamed at her, going to give her a hug before I caught up to them and shoved him out the way.

“Don’t you EVER abandon me again like that,” I said, embracing her tight. “I’m fucking annoyed at you…. But I’m glad you’re here. These guys are like wild animals.” She patted my hair softly before I stepped back and she had an apologetic look on her face.

“I knooowwww I’m sorry! But you were in such a slump I really had to do something. Plus these guys really needed whipping into shape,” she spoke the second half of her sentence quieter and we both peered at the boys, fully aware that they could hear every word we were saying.

“Anyway!” She exclaimed, moving away and plopping her backpack onto the nearest table, “I think I have a case for you guys…” her voice was excited but the way her expression changed when she looked from the boys to me was slightly concerning. Sam seemed to pick up on this too.

“That’s great, but what’s the catch?” He asked. Charlie bit her lip and looked between the boys and me again.

“It’s in a strip club and we will need (Y/n) as bait.”

“What?!” Both me and Sam spoke up at the same time, and all that Dean could muster was a huge grin.

“I’m gonna need more details than that Charlie,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Right, yes, I probably should have started with the other details. Anyway, I’m pretty sure this club is run by a bunch of vamps, using girls as bait to lure in unsuspecting men to feed on in the private rooms.” The brothers nodded, like they’d seen this sort of thing before. “Anyway,” she continued, “I’ve had a hunch about this place for a while and did some digging, and it turns out that just last night they advertised a new position available and they want someone that looks just like (Y/n). This is a perfect way to take them down from the inside.” Charlie finished speaking and scanned our faces for any sort of response. I shrugged.

“Sure I’m in.”

“No way, we aren’t putting you in the line of fire like that,” Sam turned to me, a look of worry already smothering his features.

“I agree with Sam, this will be more dangerous than the last case. We’ll find another way to take them down,” Dean said, before he added in an almost snide tone “plus I bet you can’t even lap dance. How would you ever fit in?”

I scoffed.

“Fuck you, I can lap dance just fine.”

“Oh yeah? Prove it.”

“I don’t need to prove shit to you.”

“Guys,” Sam held his hands up, “not right now.”

I turned back to Charlie.

“Look I’m in, can you make sure that no one else gets hired?” She grins, opening her backpack and pulling out her tablet.

“Absolutely!”

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Up Next:

Chapter 8 part 2

[venriliz]

Ozan Demirel for @aniraklova's The Yasmine's Desire Bachelorette Challenge

"Good Night, Del Sol Valley! You're tuned in to RARE.fm and you should listen to good old Ozan here, the voice of reason and limitless wisdom when he's tellin' you - take good care of yourself and stay hydrated because things are about to get hot in here! Kiss your cutie, sway your hips and dance like no one's watchin' to this gem of a song - Al Sim!" - Ozan Demirel

He/him

Mid 40's (he's sensible, don't ask him for specifics!)

Radio host/has his own station called RARE.fm

Born and raised in Appaloosa Plains and currently residing in Del Sol Valley

Ambitious, Self-Absorbed, Music Lover

Story/Cas pics/Likes and dislikes↓

Ozan Demirel is one of the most recognizable voices of Del Sol Valley and beyond - or at least he was.

His star as a radio host rose almost 25 years ago when he felt that he was destined for more than being a cowplant farmer on his family-owned ranch in Appaloosa Plains. His family life always had its up and downs especially for him being the youngest child of 8 and constantly being picked on by his older siblings or cast aside by his parents. Due to a traumatic experience in his childhood he lived in constant fear of being eaten by the cowplants, the very thing that earns a living for the family, and at the age of 19 he left the farm behind for good.

Ozan hitchhiked to Del Sol Valley, dreaming of his very own rise to stardom but had to realize quickly that it's not as easy as they make it look in the movies. After unsuccessfully trying to strike up a deal with some of the big record labels in the city, Ozan had to learn the hard way that simply being able to play a few basic chords on a guitar won't necessarily get him to the top. Trying to make ends meet by working at a call center made him discover a new talent for himself though - his talent of speech. After taking on several loans and maybe (innocent until proven guilty!) cheating some people out of their money through backroom poker games, RARE.fm was born.

To his familys' and maybe even his own surprise, Ozans listener count exploded almost over night especially thanks to his distinctive voice, blunt personality and dry-as-a-desert humor. What began as a one-man show inside of an old camper van in the outskirts of Del Sol Valley quickly became a lucrative business and well-loved radiostation with Ozan at the helm.

Life was great and with the addition of Violet, an old flame from high school as his co-host, RARE.fm was unstoppable in the entertainment industry. But eventually things always change, right?

Now, over 20 years later and with Violet gone due to her untimely death in a freak accident, Ozan finds himself grief-stricken not only over the loss of his best friend but also the loss of his own fame. Money isn't the problem here, Ozan has plenty of that. BUT as RARE.fm seems to lose more and more popularity, he finds himself afraid - afraid of fading into obscurity, afraid of being one of many, like he's always been in his childhood.

Seeing the billboards of Yasmine's upcoming bachelorette show all over the place has set a plan into motion and Ozan decided to jump into cold water. This will be the first time people will not only hear his voice but also be able to put a face to it as well. A rather scary thought for Ozan who's never been on TV before.

Is he looking for love? Maybe.

Is he desperately trying to cling to whatever notoriety he has left and wants to use this show to do so? Maybe.

Does he think Yasmine is a gorgeous woman and wants to meet and get to know her regardless of his quite selfish motivations? Hell yeah!

Likes:

colors: grey - green - red - black music: dj booth - spooky - metal - alternative - nu disco - soul characteristics: hard-working sims - spirited sims - funny sims conversation: compliments - physical intimacy - small talk - gossip - jokes - discussing hobbies - discussing interests fashion: polished - rocker - streetwear activities: bowling - DJ mixing - guitar - mixology - photography - media production - dancing decor: industrial - mid-century - modern - contemporary

Dislikes:

colors: pink - orange music: kids - tween pop - ranch characteristics: argumentative sims - ambitionless sims conversation: potty humor - pranks - arguments fashion: country - outdoor activities: videogames - cooking decor: art deco - farmhouse

DL will be private :]

[buckyalpine]

Tw

Hi sweet dolcezza (that is Italian and means sweetness so sweet sweetness :) )

Hope you are doing well, I want to thank you again for your beautiful blog and wonderful works.

I am reading the last things you posted, beautiful as always!

Since I live for the drama, the sadness, the darkness...

I was thinking about how a broken boy with traumas, Bucky 🫢, would react about his girlfriend having mental health problem.

Maybe she has been developing them...

She wasn't always like that, she lost her sparkle and he doesn't know her like this, he sees another person, another woman, another human.

He can't understand and is confused, maybe mad.

On one side I think about him being supportive, on the other I think about him being disrespectful and invalidating, like he had lived major traumas but, he says "he is not complaining so much about it or playing the victim" like her.

-I had this hint because my mental health is not good, I have severe OCD, since I was a kid basically I remember being this way since the age of five four. I am struggling with ed and borderline personality disorder.

And I had partners that, even if they lived traumas, still invalidated mine a lot and called me names, so the were basically toxic.-

And i can't picture where Bucky could fall. Toxic? Supportive?

I love him, but sometimes he acts shady and not always I can read him.

I see him dark most of the time.

But they can always repair the relationship and be together or not?

(I am problematic with toxic guys ahahahaha)

Sorry for this and my life story, noone asked about buy still. I just think you are the best person to write something as deep.

I really hope you are doing good and enjoying your day so far.

A lot of kisses and hugs and support.

🌺

18+

Babes we are one in the same with toxic men. I like to think there's the version of Bucky who has so much love and empathy for others going through mental health struggles and then there’s the Bucky who loves you but doesn’t know how to process things and acts impulsively. Here, we look at the second. 

Warnings: Angst, Mental health issues, some toxic behavior, (happy ending, they learn to fix things)

Disclaimer: Some of the stuff in this fic are things I/others have gone though so please refrain from comments about why the reader stayed or what the reader should have done or how the story should have gone. Sometimes I get super sucked into the angsty parts and struggle to undo the damage so don’t read too much into it. 

I imagine it starts off bad because Bucky's still learning to deal with his own mental health and there are times where he can be selfish without meaning to. He's so used to having you comfort and take care of him, he doesn't know what to do when you start to change. He’s been through so much, he can’t imagine someone else feeling his level of anguish.

You’re no longer the same person he fell in love with. Your sparkle is gone. A grey dullness encasing you. He doesn’t know when things changed or why but he just wants you back; the distance between you both gets worse with each passing day. You try your best to still be there for him because you know he needs it; you love him with all your heart even when your own feels heavy. 

"Baby, are you okay?" 

"I’m fine"

Bucky practically scoffs when you ask him how he’s doing because you should know he’s never fine. He’s never okay. He doesn't know why you bother asking him when its the same shit he deals with on a daily basis. 

You can't bring yourself to tell him how you're feeling because you know he doesn't have the capacity to help you when he's struggling himself. He shrugs, not knowing what else to say, letting you wallow in your misery, taking his frustrations out during his workouts instead. Things continue to worsen; you fall deeper in your spiral while Bucky continues to shut you not, realizing it’s you who needs him. 

“Can we talk?”

You’re desperate at this point, hoping maybe he’ll at least listen but he shakes his head instead. Bucky can’t stop the bitterness that starts to rise in his chest; he missed his ma, his sisters. His missed living in a world where he understood the things around him, where he didn’t have to feel like a lost toddler every time he stepped outside. His feelings have nothing to do with you, he really does love you but all the bitterness spills onto the one person who is always there for him. 

“What’s the point y/n” 

“I-I just feel...” You shrug, not knowing how to tell Bucky of all people that you felt empty. 

“What do you feel. I don’t know what you even complain for” 

“I feel like I have no one Bucky” You felt your stomach drop when his eyes bore into you, as if he's challenging your feelings. 

“You still have your cousins, other family, friends. You complain so much but you’re so spoiled. I’m going through shit too, but you don’t see me acting like a victim”

You swallow the anger that tries to rise, trying to understand his point of view. It all comes to a boiling point because you're trying your hardest to hold it together while he doesn’t see your spiral break down.  You felt your heart splinter; after every time you had held him, loved him, cared for him, he looked at you with emptiness. 

“Bucky, I know you’re going through things-

“Things? You think I can just turn this fucking shit off y/n? I’m not fucking normal, and you’ll never fucking get it. Honestly, I don’t know what to tell you, I’ll stay at Steve’s tonight”

He makes his way to the door and you know you can’t be alone tonight, there’s too much going on inside.

“Please don’t” your voice is a plea, your practically begging at this point. You can feel your throat tighten because you feel selfish for struggling when he’s been through so much worse.

“Bucky please stay” you trail behind him, your knees shaking. You try to tug at his wrist but he doesn’t let you. When you finally try to cling onto his arm, his composure breaks. 

“GET OFF ME” he pulls out of your grasp, sending you stumbling back. He’s usually mindful of his strength but he doesn’t think and you lose your balance, ending up on the floor. He freezes in utter disbelief with himself, he’d never in a million years even try to hurt you. 

“Fuck, baby I’m so so-”

“Don’t”

Your eyes are now stone cold, your voice was low. He tries to help you up but you scramble away from him, adding distance between you both.  He takes a step forward again but something isn’t right, he finally sees how broken you look. 

“Y/n….”

“GET OUT”

Your voice tore through the walls and his eyes are wide with fear because he's never seen you so broken. He’s never heard you raise your voice like this; you’d always spoken to him softly. He’s scared because he didn’t mean to push you to your breaking point and he doesn’t know how to take it back. 

"I-"

“GET THE FUCK OUT” 

You pick yourself off the floor, your heart beating through your chest. You practically see red, after everything you had done for him, he called you selfish; you sat through every one of his panic attacks, his depressed days, his nightmares. He couldn't listen to you for one night. 

"You fucking piece of shit"

You angrily tried to wipe your face, moving away from him to pack a bag, not wanting to be near him for a minute longer. You go straight to your room while he runs after you, panic rising, he wants to cry but he can’t, not right now. 

“Doll I’m sorry-

“I don’t care” You rummage through some of your belongings, feeling yourself go numb. You felt like your mind didn’t even belong to you anymore, your body moving in autopilot. Bucky hates the vacant look on your face, he wants to hold you and tell you he’s sorry. He tries to wrap his arms around you, not knowing what else to do but you shove him away, shaking your head.

“Don’t-don’t touch me, don’t ever fucking touch me again”

He watches helplessly when you rip yourself away, shoving a few things into your duffle bag, not meeting his eyes. 

"I-I don't fucking love you, I-I'm d-d-one with you"

“Baby please don’t go” 

“Oh, so when you beg, I have to stay?” You scoff, letting out a humorless laugh “Fuck off”

He’s terrified now because while your movements are robotic, your body is shaking and you don’t even seem to notice. Bucky hates seeing you trembling; you’re about to leave the room and walk out but he stops you. 

“Bucky, move” You suck in a breath, your nails digging into your hands, but he stays rooted in place. 

“No bubba”

“Don’t call me that” Your voice trembles, another surge of anger flowing through you when he tries to reach out for you. “I SAID DON’T TOCUH ME”

He pulls you to his chest and you try to rip yourself free but he doesn’t let you go. 

“LET GO”

Bucky shakes his head, hugging you tighter, his tears dampening your hair. The screams and wails ripping from your chest burn his insides, you desperately try to escape but he cradles you closer. 

“M’sorry”

“L-let me g-o”

“M’sorry baby, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” He doesn’t care that your hitting his chest, he doesn’t care that your hands keep striking him. He can feel your body give way, your breaths uneven, months of pain spilling out all at once. He hugs you tighter like he should have done ages ago, realizing you needed him more than ever. Your body continues to fight but your angry screams turn into pained sobs. 

“I’m so sorry my babygirl” 

He carefully carries you to the bed where he can hold you in his lap. He tries to think of what you do for him, warming your body, rubbing his hands along your back and arms. He feels awful because you always take such good care of him and he was grasping at straws trying to do the same for you. You deserved so much more. 

“Shhhh” His lips brush against your forehead, one hand gently rubbing your chest while the other continues to soothe your back so he can regulate your breathing. “Slowly baby, breathe with me, okay?” 

You say nothing, but you try to follow his breaths, letting him take care of you. He continues to tell you how much he loves and cares for you, how sorry is he for hurting you. Exhaustion takes over and you allow yourself to fall asleep with him. A part of you is still angry but your too weak to move and you need to be held.  

You wake up in the middle of the night feeling his chest tremble against you. His soft sniffles are muffled as he tries to keep his cries down while cuddling you close. 

“Bucky?” You lift your head to see his broken expression. 

“I’m s-sorry” He chokes out, breaking down. He feels selfish again because he should be the one comforting you but he was angry with himself. “I-I can’t believe I hurt you angel” 

You move up so you can wipe some of his tears, his face puffy having cried for hours through the night. 

“I just needed you” You gently your fingers through his hair trying to calm him down. 

“I-I said shit I never should have said baby, I’m sorry. M’sorry sweet girl” 

“Why did you say those things” you whisper, your voice still hoarse.

“I’m so sorry angel, I- there’s not excuse, I’m sorry I was so selfish doll”

You nod, still feeling drained though a part of you feels better. You hadn’t fully forgiven him yet but you knew he meant every word plus there was no one else in the world you loved as much as him. He thinks about the way he mistreated you, realizing he really didn’t deserve your forgiveness at all. Your words replay in his head and his breaths become shallow. 

“Do-do you not love me anymore?” His voice is a broken whisper. You knew you didn’t mean it. The thought nearly kills him. He would have gone through hydra again over ever losing your love. Your thumb brushes over his lips silencing him. 

“Please don’t say you don’t love me”  He nuzzles himself further into your side, hugging you tightly, his voice a whimper. “Please, I’m sorry” 

“I was just angry Bucky. I love you” He calms down slightly but hes still on edge with himself. He wants to do better. He wants to take care of you. You had been there through everything for him and you deserved the same love a thousand times over. 

“I promise I’ll try harder angel” 

He stays true to his word. 

It doesn’t resolve overnight.

But he learns. And so do you.

He’s patient with you. He gives you endless love. He has his own hard days, and so do you but your by each others side through it all. He sees your sparkle return brighter than ever, 

Because he really does love you. 

Tags:

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[criticallyacclaimedstranger]

Hi Cas, again for the Kisses Writing prompt how about 45. With Frankie Morales ? 🩷👀

Thank you for this ask, and sorry you had to wait a little. The heat ended up taking me down yesterday, but today we're back to normal termperatures, and after some gardening and lunch, I was ready for some Frankie kissing!

Kisses prompt #45: Kisses exchanged as they move around, hitting the edges of tables or nearly tripping over things on the floor before making it to the sofa, or bed.

Frankie Morales x you (f!reader, has tits but no other descriptors)

Established relationship, kissing, there's obviously going to be sex.

455 words

”Fuck!” Frankie stubs his toe, and accidentally bites your lip.

”Ow!”

”Oh god, sorry!”

You giggle breathlessly against Frankie’s cheek before your tongue runs over your lower lip to check for blood, finding none.

”’s okay.”

You don’t give him the chance of apologizing again: your lips are back on his, tongue down his throat as you work on unbuttoning his plaid. Your lower lip feels warm and tender after the bite but Frankie’s greedy kisses are bruising your upper lip just as much. You can tell his toe is smarting because of the sudden limp, but he doesn’t let that slow him down. His plaid is barely off before he pulls your top up, forcing you to let go of him for the second it takes him to pull the top over your head before he yanks you back against him for more searing kisses. You’re moving through the apartment all the time, heading for any place where you can stay somewhat stable as he sinks his dick into you. The sideboard in the entry was no good, and you knocked over a lamp before kicking off your shoes and almost stumbling over them before proceeding into the apartment, kissing, kissing, kissing until you can’t breathe, and kissing some more.

”Fuck, I want you,” Frankie pants, snapping open your bra just as you pop open his belt buckle. ”Madre de dios...”

”I know baby, I know.” You kiss him again, plunge your tongue into his mouth to meet his, wrestling it playfully, desperately, Frankie’s whiskers peeling away at the skin around you mouth.

The couch is within sight, and you push him towards it, throwing yourself on him so hard that he almost loses balance for a second before regaining it. He spins you around, knowing your plan to fuck on the couch, but the next step he takes brings him right across the path of the ottoman, and he stumbles onto the couch, bringing you with him. You hit your shoulder against the armrest and catch Frankie’s elbow in your side.

”Shit!”

You roll over onto your back and draw a deep breath, heart beating fast from the fright. When you sigh it out, you start to laugh.

”Jesus Christ, being horny is fucking dangerous!”

Frankie chuckles next to you. ”With you it is. You okay?”

”I’m good.” You turn your head to look at him. ”You?”

”Hit my knee on the goddamn remote, but other than that, I’m good to go.”

You scramble to straddle him, and he immediately covers your naked tits with his warm hands.

”Kiss me again.”

He wraps his arms around you to bring you in, and his mouth is back on yours, panting and wanting and loving.

[may-be-rae]

I've been recovering from a bad flu and was wondering if I could be self indulgent and request Hc's for M6 when Mc is almost recovered from a bad flu?

First example; they cough every so often, they have a dry throat and sound bit horse still. Their favorite foods taste like shit and their appetite isn't fully back yet, but they have most of their energy back and can do everyday things and even feel lazy when doing nothing all day.

Thanks for your request! I’m so sorry for how long this took me. 🥴

I’m sure you’re well over your flu by now 🤧✌️ but since it’s disease central out here, I hope this brings us some comfort. ❤️‍🩹

Stay healthy y’all. Our immune system be fighting wars out here. 🫡 🍊

The Arcana Headcanons

Recovering from the Flu

Asra

Asra takes the days in stride. He’s a fairly relaxed person by nature. He doesn’t understand your rush to return to the everyday world. He prefers you to rest in bed so your mind, body, and spirit can fully recover.

From the beginning of your illness, Asra wanted to care for you, but he’s hesitant to be overbearing. He understands your complex sentiments towards the “caregiver” role he’s taken.

He takes a background role to your healing, acting as a shadow in his support. He makes homemade tea bags, cuts up fruits, prepares soups, washes the bedsheets, draws baths… small things that make a big difference in lightening the load.

He doesn’t nag you about what you chose to do. Want to go for a walk? He’ll join you with a spare coat and water. Insist on going to the market? Let him carry the basket. He’s desperate to see you well and happy once more, and he’ll do anything to show it even if it means taking a step back

In the end, Asra will promise that once you regain your taste, he’ll buy you the biggest, warmest pumpkin loaf at Selasi’s.

Nadia

Nadia has the palace on lockdown. She knows better than to believe that you won’t push your recovery time to a minimum. In Prakra, rest is valued and the body is treated sacredly. A broken vessel can hold nothing good. She urges you to rest as much as possible.

Everything is at your disposal - the finest cloths for your sniffles, the richest honey for your cough, the softest pillows for a midday nap. Nothing is too good for you.

After a few days, she will feel guilty for keeping you under lock and key. She knows how lonely the palace can be, and she wishes she had more time to keep you company.

In the evenings, she’ll try to make it up to you with a true rarity of her highness. She’ll sing to you sweet lullabies her father used to sing to her as a child. Her voice is smooth and deep, and Prakran songs have a rhythm much like a running river. It’s rare to hear her sing, and most are unaware of the Countess’s secret skill.

Julian

Julian, of course, is worried. He’s always worried! However, to best help you Julian switches into “doctor mode” to suppress his emotions. It does pain him to treat you like a patient, but he knows his medical skills are much more helpful than his worries. It’s a much different side to him, something you’re not used to seeing. It’s not bad, though. In fact, it’s rather charming.

He takes an upfront role, stern but soft. He’ll bring you tinctures and supplements from the clinic, as well as ask Mazelinka for any wives’ tale that could prove useful. He’ll cook for you and draw baths, and lights are out no later than 9:00pm.

Julian encourages you to keep moving and stay in a routine. He’ll offer to take you to the beach where you can relax in the sand. He knows the sun, fresh air, and water do wonders for health.

Once you’re fully recovered, Julian is relieved to have you again. He’ll apologize for being so cold, but that he simply wanted to help you. He’ll shower you in kisses and hugs to make up for the empty days.

Portia

While Portia is often one to work herself to the bone while under the weather, she refuses to let you do the same. She’s aware that it’s rather hypocritical of her, but she frankly doesn’t care. She can be somewhat of a nag, and that she does feel guilty for.

Portia is well versed in homeopathic medicine. It’s a skill that she picked up from her hometown, and it reminds her fondly of Mazelinka - the late nights they’d stay up together over the fire, picking dried herbs off their stems, talking about life, and sharing stories of the high seas…. It’s a fond memory for her.

If you insist on working, she’ll pack you a hearty soup and homemade ginger tea, both with plenty of healing herbs infused. When you get home, it’s candles, blankets, and bedtime. She’s also not afraid to snuggle up next to you despite the sniffles. At least if she gets sick too, she has an excuse to stay home with you. 🧡

Muriel

Muriel agrees that it’s no good to linger in bed for too long. If you’re up to it, he’ll support your decision in getting on your feet. This doesn’t erase his worry; he’ll still keep a strong eye on you.

When you go off to the shop, he’ll pack a bundle berries and dried orange peels for you to snack on. He’ll also spent the day preparing bone broth for dinner. If you don’t eat animal products, he’ll swap it for a ginger, garlic, and onion based broth.

The Kokhuri are strong believers of homeopathic remedies, like aromatherapy. Muriel would purchase and prepare incense and dried herbs to burn while you relax at home. He even knows of a great natural hot springs to relax in. If you’re too tired to walk, he’ll carry you.

But most of all, he’s a strong believer that company is truly the best medicine. Like Nadia, he has many lullabies and folk lore to share with you. He’s shy at first, but it’s rather cathartic for him to sing. It’s nice to relive his native tongue once more.

As the night settles in, he and Innana will gladly cuddle up to you once you’re asleep and keep you warm through the night.

Lucio

Lucio actually roughs out his cold most of the time, crediting his “it’s not a problem if I don’t think about it too hard” mindset. He reserves his crybaby tendencies for when he’s feeling truly horrid and sorry for himself.

He’s surprisingly gentle toward you, as he admires your tenacious spirit. Many other partners in his life used his status to pamper themselves in these situations. It’s strange to have someone so independent and capable that choses to stay with him. Lucio knows he’s a pill, and your faithfulness isn’t lost on him. He never wants to diminish your will and strength, so he’ll do his best to support you from the shadows.

Expect servants on the hour to check in on you, periodically bringing over drinks, snacks, and cough drops. Sometimes, Lucio will offer walk through the gardens for some fresh air. If you’re struggling, he’ll bring over a blanket and pillow for a brief nap. Although he’ll promise to wake you up in a few minutes, he’ll allow you to rest longer if that’s what your body demands.

At the ends of his work day, he won’t leave your side. He’ll run a hot bath for you and offer to read to you. Afterwards, the night is yours. Whatever you please, he’ll have it ready for you.

[what-if-i-just-did]

Destiel Prompt List 28. Dean gets drunk and confesses his feelings.

Trigger Warnings: being drunk, drinking cause you don't wanna think, mentions of thinking you're a burden, people that always leave

One Drunk Hunter And His Angel

Dean stumbled down the steps of the Bunker and swayed a little. "Ha.." he mumbled, and a chuckle was trying to make it's way up his throat, but he wasn't sure why it was there and it tasted sour, if that makes, sense, so it only half-made it out of his mouth. Right? That makes sense right? He's not sure it should make sense but it makes sense right now.

"Dean? ..Are you alright?" Sam and Cas are walking towards him like he's got blood running down his face. "Yeh 'm fiiiiiine... jus' a li'le bit drunk.. I think. Maybe a lot bit drunk... yea probably that. I think." The gears in his head are connecting with the wrong other gears, so forming sentences is not exactly a mastered skill right now. "Sorry... I.. I should sleep, right? That's what you.." his sentence trails off, because he's lost the capacity to word his thoughts, because his thoughts are muddled all together like one big heep of silvery, foggy thought or something. He thinks there's probably a reference he can make, but he can't find it and it doesn't seem important.

"Dean, why did you go out to drink?" And there's that deep, concerned voice that does things to him, and he smiles into a dopey grin. "Hey Cas, good to see ya too, y'know, could like, greet me properly or whatever... angel." He slurs. His head tips forwards, but Cas catches it, brings Dean to look at him. "You've got a blood alchohol of point thirty-four. Why did you go drink?", Cas says, and Dean's grin drops and he looks down. "Cwause I di'n't wanna... I don' wanna think righ' now, cause every'ing is so.. bad. Everything's bad. With, with Ch-uck, and Amara, and the whole... the Mark thing, and you!" He spits the names out like they're a spinach-brocolli-banana-smoothie, but when he indicates Cas, he just sounds desperate. He makes a movement towards Castiel, like he's accusing him of something.

Cas furrows his brows. "I'm sorry. What did I do, Dean?"

"You-you're never 'ere! You- you're off doing stupid angel buisness and you leave me behind! You- you never, you never stay, you should stay! 'Ut tha's my fault o' course, cuz when you wann'ed to stay, I toldya ta leave, an' now y-you don't think you can stay, so you leave! You always leave!" Dean was trying to move now, unsuccesfully.

That was.. not what Castiel had been expecting. He's not sure what he was expecting- he's done a lot wrong. To be yelled at for letting Lucifer in, or for being a burden, or maybe something further back- for working with Crowley, for setting loose the Leviathans, for leaving in Purgatory, for letting the Angels fall. Not for this. Not for.. leaving. "Dean... none of that is your fault. I'm incredibly grateful you want me to stay, and I will, until you change your mind. Thank you, Dean. I never mean to leave you." He grudgingly thinks that that may be the instant Dean is sober.

Dean's staring at him like he's said something ridiculous. He's about to ask when Dean finally speaks. "I ain' gonna change my mind abou' letting you stay! Cas, this is your home too!- or I, or I wan' it to be.. 'm bad at sayin' stuff like tha'. 'sgood 'm drunk. You don' gotta be so gratefu' about stuff ya should jus' 'ave. 'm jus' kinda stuck-up sumtimes with the whole.. emosh'on thin'. I care abou' yuu, Cashh.. I love ya! I love ya stupid sumtimes. Can't think with it.. but 'll 'e mad tha' I said tha' t'murrow, so 'ma go.. go s'eep, I'thin-k." Dean sloppily kisses Cas's cheek and saunters off. Both Cas and Sam are too stunned to go after him and tell him he went the wrong way.

[theageofsims]

Sims Tag <3 tagged by: @gorgosim -- thanks for thinking of me. :)

What’s your favourite sims death? I don't have one, but I've also never been asked so I suppose I should think… probably old age these days. When I was a kid/teen and playing Sims 1 and 2 it was probably by fire or drowning.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match? I'm really into maxis match, but I can't seem to get on board with maxis match eyebrows in Sims 4 so I've got to have my Alpha eyebrows. I do have some eyebrows that are Maxis Match, but I have default replacement eyebrows for the game's version and those are Alpha… also a few beards/goatees are maybe a mix of both? But that's usually it… I think. I might have more things, but not that much more.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight? It depends. For awhile when I played in the beginning I had a mod where the fat and muscle would not change in your Sim. Those days I was just writing my story and getting used to the gameplay of Sims 4. I got rid of that mod a long time ago and now I've started to notice the changes in weight and I will go in CAS and set it to what I want it to be.

When I write stories I tend to write stories based off of my favorite movie/tv show characters so they're intended to look a certain way, however, not every single character in the story with them isn't meant to be the same weigh as them.

Also storylines play a part. If a person is depressed, their weight will change. I'll either let it happen or I'll go in and change it. If they've just had a baby then the same implies. If they've gotten an illness -- things like that.

When it comes to legacy stories though, however the Sim comes out looking is what they remain. I stay very organic with Sim legacies because the story develops as I play the game. They're not meant to look like already exisiting characters in movies/tv and so on.

I'm not against different body types in my gameplay/stories at all.

Do you use move objects? Oh for sure. I build a lot and I can't do without it. I will turn it off to place some things sometimes though like the cooking stove thing that comes with Dine Out -- that thing is finicky as hell if you place too many things around/above it!

Favorite mod? MCCC -- it has come in so handy when taking screencaps where my Sims have an expression I want to capture, but they're maybe not in the right clothes. I just go into mccc and change them into a different outfit and it's perfect. Easier than stopping to use poses (where they'll lose the organic expression they've got) and it helps with creating new storylines/story parts. It does defeat the purpose of washing machines and dryers though… but that's the way it be sometimes! :P

Also -- weather. The ability to change weather.

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got? Get to Work… wasn't that the first pack? Whatever the first pack was, of any kind, I got it while in hopes that the Sims 4 would become more than it started out to be -- I was desperate at one point! HAHA.

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing? I don't even say live mode very often, but I'd like to think I say it has LIVe mode… but I probably say aLIVE and don't even realize! :P

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made? Oh… this is too easy. William Jones of course.

Have you made a simself? I think I have in Sims 3 and Sims 4… but I can't even actually remember because I felt like what's the purpose of this? I think I even like tried gameplay and I'm like nope -- can't do it, hahaha. I'm just not that interesting of a person!

What sim traits do you give yourself? Uh… creative and foodie and music lover.

Which is your favorite EA hair color? I don't think I have a favorite, but… alright… let's just say gray to just put it all out there.

Favorite EA hair? I haven't got one… but they're male/masculine hair(s) for sure.

Favorite life stage? Adult

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay? I'm in The Sims 4 for everything at this point. Sims 1 and Sims 2 I was there for gameplay only. Sims 3 I was there for making Sims as unique as I possibly could (or based off of my favorite characters in tv/movie), and beginning to see how storytelling went. Sims 4 has me doing literally everything.

Are you a CC creator? Nah. I do a few recolors, but I always wanted to make CC for the Sims since back in the Sims 2 days -- but never could figure it out. I'm able to get into blender these days, but it takes me literally 10 hours to do one thing and then I don't retain any of it.

I still try though… because I'd really like to make like CC food and objects one day -- but it's still a LONG time coming.

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad? I don't, but I have a couple of mutuals around the Sims community. I do have a good friend I met online 10 years ago because we're a fan of the same kinds of movies/actors and she happens to play the Sims. We talk about it with each other, but we do that privately through voice messages/texts on messenger and stuff. She's got a simblr, but it's in the making -- she doesn't blog about the game very much.

What’s your favorite game? (1, 2, 3, or 4) Sims 2 will always hold a special place in my heart, but the open world's in Sims 3 was 'everything' to me. Also the ability to build worlds with the world tool was amazing to me. I tend to like gameplay where my Sims collect stuff so being able to go out there and travel the open world's collecting and exploring was just every single thing to me.

I tend to resist new Sims games with hatred unexplained when they come out. The only time I didn't hate it was when Sims 2 came out -- I was all for it. Sims 3, I struggled with getting into until the last few years of the game and kept going back to Sims 2. Sims 4 was a much easier transition for me to make from Sims 3, but I still resisted and it mostly was because I didn't like the "bloom" looking effect of the game, I didn't like the way the Sims looked (thought they looked like clay), I didn't like the fact they had emotions, and I hated that there was not an open world.

I'm already hating Sims 5 and it's not even here. Just me being my usual self hahaha. I struggle with change so it's not surprising to me.

Do you have any sims merch? I don't have a single thing, but I've often thought about making something because I like being creative with my hands.

Do you have a YouTube for sims? Yup -- I opened it about a year ago I think, but I didn't really know what I wanted it to be or if it made sense. Then my dad passed away unexpectly and I left it until some odd months ago when I started to put up Speed builds and some random YouTube Shorts of my Sims stuff.

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing? Oh, a great deal. I care about what happens to them now. I'm not just drowning them (unless it's for story purposes, haha) and I try to be as organic/realistic as possible when it calls for it. For occult saves/stories I try just make it as true to the characters and their personalities since realism isn't always possible for obvious reasons.

I guess I play with purpose now -- shrugs

What’s your Origin ID? theageofsims

Who’s your favorite CC creator? I've got more than one.

For male stuff it's: xldsims, luumia, and simsontherope

For food stuff: icemunmun and brazenlotus

For Objects/Decor: aroundthesims4 (since like previous versions of the game -- always loved their stuff)

How long have you had a simblr? September 2017 thought I did have one when I was still playing Sims 3 in 2015/2016, but I deleted it. I didn't post much though.

How do you edit your pictures? Photoshop.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next? I'd like a proper sci-fi type of world which is hilarious because I'm not even big on science fiction. Not Star Wars, but like… Star Trek? I dunno -- somewhere where Vulcans could call home.

And an all-things-food pack.

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far? This is tough, but I love Spa Day. I loved it since the trailer was released way back when. And Seasons of course. I adore the Fall and Winter months so much in the game in certain world's like Brindleton Bay and Windenburg. I wanna throw in a shout-out to Eco Lifestyle, Bowling Night, too. I really wanted to love Dine Out, but it's nothing at all like I wanted it to be when it comes to gameplay. The ability to work your own resturant without mods -- that's all I wanted. Truly, that's all I Wanted. But the build stuff I love from Dine Out, so it's not been a total loss.

I'll tag // @memoirsofasim @whyhellosims @stargazersims @gladlypants @tigo @flethro @marvelouslymoodysims @reverieinsimlish @simminnikas @koomeba @akitasimblr and some people I couldn't tag because it wouldn't tag -- and ANYONE ELSE who sees this that would like to answer, please feel free.

Also, as always, do not feel obligated to do it! :)

[foolondahill17]

The third night without sleep, Dean rolls himself a joint from Sam's stash out of pure desperation. He doesn’t exactly want to stink up his room, so he goes outside the Bunker, climbs the steep hill to the base of the abandoned water treatment plant, and takes a seat with his back against the brick wall.

The chill air bites his cheeks as he pulls in a mouthful of smoke, holds for a second, and releases it into the night air. It’s been a while since he’s smoked, maybe since Cassie or Lee, but even then it wasn’t often.

His very brief period of experimentation favored anything with a little more oomf – LSD, STP, PCP; he ran the gamut of most of the alphabet drugs, but that was when he went a little crazy while Sam was in school and Dad was off doing who the hell knows what. He never had much time or need for a downer like indica – and, when he did, whiskey was in high supply.

Dean’s head whips to the side when he hears the crunch of dried grass under foot, but the mussed top of Cas’s head appears over the hill, and Dean relaxes.

“Making sure I don’t run off again?” Dean asks, sticking the joint back between his lips.

“I just thought I’d enjoy the night,” Cas says, a little stilted, like he’s afraid Dean will poke fun at his nightly wandering.

“It ain’t half bad,” Dean agrees. It’s true. The sky is clear and it’s just cold enough to be refreshing rather than frigid. It smells like spring: all damp earth and new growth. “Want some?”

He holds the joint to Cas. Cas squints at it.

“Sam offered before. It didn’t have much effect on me.”

“People never get high the first time,” Dean says. “Come on. Puff, puff, pass, man.”

Cas takes the joint and sinks to the ground in a surprisingly fluid motion for how stiffly he normally carries himself. He crosses his legs on the ground, and Dean’s reminded of that other Cas, from Zachariah’s alternate future.

“Just don’t get into the habit,” Dean says gruffly.

Cas takes his own hit before passing the stick back to Dean.

“Drugs rarely have an effect on me, still,” Cas says. “Even alcohol.”

“You think it’s a good sign?” Dean prompts. “Maybe your grace is healing?”

“I’d like to think so,” Cas sighs. “Truthfully, I feel basically the same.”

“Yeah, well, it’s not even a year. Keep your head up, buddy.”

“What about you?” Cas asks.

“What?” Dean says, knowing exactly what Cas means.

“How are you feeling?” Cas clarifies.

“I’m fine,” Dean says.

“No, you’re not,” Cas says.

Dean can’t face the angel’s eyes. He lets his head fall against the wall behind him, staring at the sky. Lebanon ain’t exactly a metropolis, so there’s not much light pollution to speak of, but out here in the prairie it’s even clearer. The sky is inky black, speckled with stars like a flashlight shining through a metal colander.

“I don’t know, man,” Dean sighs. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Emma said you were with Benny,” Cas says. It’s enough of a non sequitur that Dean lifts his head.

“Um, yeah,” Dean says. “Down in New Orleans. He…let me crash for a few days.”

“You didn’t stay for long?” Cas asks.

“Not really,” Dean hedges. “Before that I was…around.”

"Yes," Cas says. There's a note of anger in his voice. Cas was always pretty good at the whole heavenly wrath thing. “With Crowley, apparently."

"Yeah because you've never palled around with demons before," Dean snaps. And shit. As soon as the words are out of his mouth, his stomach sinks. He didn't want to argue.

"It's unfair of you to throw that in my face when I've - I've tried to atone for working with Crowley many times over," Cas says, voice strangely brittle.

Funny, but Dean hadn't even thought about Cas working with Crowley. He'd been thinking about Cas and Meg searching for the demon tablet in the Middle East.

"Sorry," Dean says. He swallows something barbed and sticky in his throat.

There's a beat of silence, then Cas breathes out hard.

Dean takes another pull from his joint. He hands it back to Cas, nudging his friend’s arm with his knuckles when Cas doesn’t immediately reach for it.

“You could have stayed,” Cas says. He’s staring unblinkingly across the shadowed field. “You didn’t have to go to Crowley. Or Benny.”

“I know,” Dean says. And he does. He does know. He doesn’t have the words to explain the cloying, claustrophobic fear that gripped him the first few weeks after brutalizing Randy and the others. His instability. The certainty with which he knew he’d hurt someone else. The inevitability of it. “I just needed to get away. Benny was – he’s a good friend. He helped me find solid footing again, I guess.”

“Just a friend?” Cas asks. “Or are you…in a relationship with him?”

Cas’s question echoes like a sonar ping through Dean’s ribcage.

“Did Emma tell you? Or Ben?”

“No,” Cas replies. “I think I…guessed in Purgatory. I’m not very good at understanding social interactions, but I could understand there was something between you two. And I knew you slept with men…since I reconstructed your very being, all of your history was revealed to me. Although I’d argue it didn’t gain emotional significance until later.”

“Emotional significance, huh?”

Cas replies with a half-smile. “Navigating the nuance of human emotion hasn’t exactly been easy.”

“Why do you ask?” Dean bluffs. “You jealous?”

It’s the first time they’ve even come close to vocalizing the magnetic, possessive pull toward one another, and Dean’s heartbeat thuds in his throat. No fucking way would he have the balls to confront this if the weed hadn’t made him so loose-tongued.

“I’m not jealous,” Cas says immediately, and Dean’s almost high enough to admit it’s disappointment he feels in the base of his gut. “I was just…curious.”

“We’re not,” Dean says. He sucks in another mouthful of smoke. “What about you and Meg? You guys hook up during your Raiders tour?”

Cas takes the joint. He waits until he’s blowing smoke before he says. “We did…once. I didn’t like it very much.”

“Yeah?” Dean says. He’s already prepared to jump to Cas’s defense if the demon pressured him into something he didn’t want to do.

“I think it’s because I’m gay.”

If Dean had been drinking, he would have done a spit take. “You’re, um. Oh – okay.” He tries to recover himself. “I didn’t think…way back when, Anna said angels didn’t feel things…like that.”

“I think we can both agree I’m far from an angel,” Cas says.

Dean doesn’t exactly know what to say to that. He finishes the joint and stubs out the ember against the brick.

“I should, ah, try to get some sleep,” he says. He’s felt awkward around Cas plenty of times, but never quite like this: there’s a gnawing sensation in the pit of his stomach, like he said something wrong or missed his chance. He tells himself he’s being stupid.

“Oh,” Cas says. Is that disappointment in his voice, too? Or something else? “Goodnight, then.”

Dean stands to his feet. He closes his fist at his side before he can do something stupid, like pat Cas on the shoulder or, worse, put his hand in the angel’s hair.

“Night, Cas.”

Read more here

[deancasbigbang]

Title: The Shadow of Mount Seelie

Author: butterflyslinky

Artist: lotrspnfangirl

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Past Dean/Lydia, Implied Cas/Lilith

Length: 38000

Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Implied Rape/Noncon Past Minor Character Death, Domestic Violence, Torture, Murder

Tags: Single Father Dean Winchester, Fairy Tales and Folklore, Mild Sexual Content, Fairy Castiel

Posting Date: November 9, 2022

Summary: Dean and his daughter Emma have moved to the peaceful village of Mount Seelie, where everyone gets whatever they want. Dean soon finds that the villagers are hiding something that seems to center on the odd but handsome local handyman, Castiel.

Excerpt: “Hello, Dean.” Cas looked awkward, but happy. “Thank you for inviting me.” “Yeah, of course.” Dean led Cas inside. “Sorry if I’m a little in and out, I’m working on this single-handed.” “I can help,” Cas offered. “No, you’re a guest.” Cas shrugged. “I hate not working when someone else is. Besides, I’ve observed a certain camaraderie is formed when cooking a meal together. I would like to share that with you, if it’s all right.” Dean just stared at him for a moment. “Um…okay,” he said. “I could use some help, yeah.” Cas smiled and followed Dean to the kitchen. Dean was still trying to sort out what kind of camaraderie Cas could be looking for. Sure, Dean knew that women formed close bonds in the kitchen, but he didn’t know any men who had. Then again, Dean hadn’t exactly grown up in the sort of family where men helped in the kitchen, or indeed, the sort of lifestyle that involved a kitchen at all. Luckily, Cas seemed to be as handy with food as he was with everything else. He chopped vegetables efficiently, had a good mastery of pastry dough, and a good knack for measuring even though Dean’s measuring cup was very worn and hard to read. “Is there anything you can’t do?” Dean jokingly asked. “A few things,” Cas said, his voice and face completely serious. “Though nothing that would generally be a problem in daily life.” “Must have lived an interesting life to have that many skills.” Cas stared straight ahead for a long minute. “More than you can imagine,” he said. They were silent for a moment. “Were you born in Mount Seelie?” Dean asked. He realized that he knew very little about his guest, but he desperately wanted to know more. “No,” Cas said. “I was born in Scotland. But I was brought over a very long time ago and I’ve been here ever since.” “Your family bring you?” “Yes. But they’re all dead now.” “But…” Dean was trying to work it out. “How did you end up…?” Cas studied him for a moment. “How did I end up what?” “Homeless. Wasn’t there a house for you to inherit?” “The house is gone, and it wasn’t home without my family anyway. I couldn’t stay on the property, so now I don’t stay anywhere.” “Do you want to?” Maybe Dean had gotten it wrong. Maybe Cas was happy as a drifter; Dean had met enough men like that in his life to understand at least a little. Hell, Dean’s father had been a man like that. “I do miss having a place to go every night,” Cas said. “And I miss having a family. But right now, I’m just grateful I can stay in town and make myself useful.” “Well, you’re welcome to come here any time,” Dean said. “And stay as long as you need.” Cas looked at him, and Dean thought he might cry. “Thank you, Dean,” he said. “That means a lot to me.”

DCBB 2022 Posting Schedule

[jumblejen]

We Were Always Going to End Up Together - Ch 5

Suptober 22, Day 5: A Perfect Disaster

On AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42237885/chapters/106611369

(Or read from the beginning: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42237885/chapters/106051008)

Dean couldn’t believe he wasn’t anxious. He was plenty nervous, but it felt like champagne bubbles rising through his system instead of soul-strangling doubt. He’d taken care to pay more attention to how he dressed to go to the Roadhouse than he’d ever done before, inspecting himself in the mirror long enough that he laughed at himself before heading out. He’d picked the soft green Henley to bring out his eyes a little, over a white tshirt that just poked out. Slim fit (but not too tight!) jeans with his favorite still-looked-nice-enough boots and he knew he looked good. He wished he’d replaced his old leather coat, but made do with his everyday canvas one. It would be warm inside anyway, so it wouldn’t be on long.

‘If Dean played his cards right, maybe none of his clothes would stay on that long,’ a little voice snickered in the back of his head at the thought. A guy could dream.

He got to the Roadhouse early, mostly to avoid a chance that his happy nerves could turn into an anxiety spiral while waiting for the time to pass. Jo was working tonight, which was nice because he appreciated a friendly face, but also annoying as she would immediately clock that he was there for a date and she would be merciless. A little sister type, she was a blessing and a curse all rolled into a perky but violent blonde package.

“Hey Dean, who’s the lucky one tonight? Or are you just hoping it’ll be you?”

“I’m always lucky to be eating Ellen’s food,” Dean teased back.

“Well Mom will be happy you still know how to kiss up to her.”

“Do you want to drag her out here to say hi?”

“Nah, she’ll come around later maybe. Besides, you don’t want your date to get the wrong idea.” Jo grabbed a couple of menus and started leading Dean back towards the nicer booths. “After all, they might think you’re likable or something.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just remember that I pay your tip.”

“Oh please. Either your date pays, and tips me well or you tip me well. No way you want to risk looking like a cheapskate on a first date.” Dean frowned at her back as she sashayed away. He hated when she got the last word. His expression changed to a grin as he saw Castiel walk through the doorway.

Apparently Dean wasn’t the only one who was early for things. He stood up and caught Castiel’s eye.

“Hey Cas,” started Dean, suddenly a little shy.

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Cas?”

“What are you…”

Dean felt his face flush pink as his happy nervous bubbles curdled in his belly. “Didn’t we have a date?” Dean managed to force out.

Cas sighed deeply and looked at the floor.

Dean wondered if he could just melt through the floor. Worse, this might even be bad enough that Jo would be nice to him. “I mean, your text…”

“Sorry, Dean. I…I didn’t know I was meeting you here.”

Dean’s flush deepened and he thought his whole head might actually catch on fire. “It’s fine, man. No harm, no foul.” Dean thought he might be sick all over his favorite boots.

“Dean, wait.”

Dean met earnest blue eyes and wished even harder he could disappear.

“This was Gabe’s doing. He thinks I don’t have a life and he must have taken my phone and asked you out. I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding.”

“It’s cool, Cas,” said Dean, desperately shutting down his disappointment and putting on his impersonal, charming face.

“No. I might kill my cousin, and he should never have done this without my knowledge.”

“Yeah, definitely a dick move. But really, it’s okay. I’m sorry you came out and all for a joke.” Dean was trying to figure out how to get out of this conversation so he could drown his sorrows a little and then go home and lick his wounds.

“But you wanted to go out with me?”

Dean blinked in surprise. “Wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t.”

“I mean. Are you sure you knew it was dinner with me?”

Dean smiled a little at that. “Of course with you. Not every day that a gorgeous scarecrow asks me out.”

It was Castiel’s turn to blush as he rubbed the back of his neck. In a voice so low and quiet Dean almost couldn’t make out the words Cas mumbled, “Do you want to stay and have dinner with me?”

Dean’s smile was softer, “Yeah man. We’re both here and I’m definitely interested if you are.” Dean gave him what he hoped came across as an encouraging look.

Castiel’s smile was small but bright.

They took seats on either side of the booth, both a little shy and not sure what to say. Dean met Castiel’s eyes and huffed a small laugh. “So Gabe’s your cousin?”

“Yes. And he’s very irritating.”

“Is it so bad having dinner with me?”

“No, I’m sorry. I’m not very good at this.”

“Having dinner?”

“Talking to good-looking men.”

Dean drew a breath in at the sincerity in Cas’ gaze. “Seems like you’re doing ok.”

“What can I get you two?”

Dean tried not to glare at Jo’s interruption.

“Your usual, Dean?”

“Sure, Jo.”

“And for you?”

“I’ll have whatever he’s having.”

“Alright. Be back in a minute.”

“What if I ordered a shitty IPA?”

“Then I guess I’ll have to suffer through the experience.”

Dean laughed, enjoying the adorable mix of awkward and deadpan funny.

They chatted about how Dean knew Jo until Jo dropped off their beers and took their orders and left them alone with a wink to Dean.

 “So what do you do when you aren’t hanging around corn mazes?”

“Not much, really.”

“Does scarecrow really pay that well?”

“No, I just am in between jobs right now. I own the farm that the maze is on.”

“So you decided to go all in on that?”

“It was Gabe’s idea. He talked me into performing there too.”

“So what you’re saying is that we only met because your cousin is a busybody who tries to micromanage your life?”

“He thinks I’m lonely.”

Dean paused. “Are you?”

“I find people to be difficult in a social setting.”

“People are just people man. Most of us don’t bite.” Dean smiled wolfishly, hoping a little bit of his own desire shone through.

“I understand people better when we have a mutual purpose.”

“Such as…”

“At the maze, I’m trying to scare them. At a job, I am trying to get my work done and so are they, so that helps facilitate the relationship. When I am a customer, interacting with the cashier has a practical structure. It’s easier when I know what both sides of the equation are expecting.”

“And when there’s a cute boy you are suddenly having dinner with?”

“I hope I don’t scare him off because I’m not sure what to say. There’s no script for this.”

Dean’s heart melted a little at the wistful vulnerability he could read in the other man’s face. “Well, we’re talking just fine here. And I know everyone has always told me I have more words than most so you can always just get me started and I’ll carry the conversation for awhile.”

“I think I’m doing okay.”

“So far so good. In fact, I think that you have avoided any possible disaster tonight.”

“There’s still time. I could still manage to knock and entire plate of food onto your lap or accidentally insult your life’s work.”

“Well, let’s try to avoid all that, but even if those things happened I think we’d be fine. Once we got the awkward part out of the way, I’d say it’s been perfect.”

Cas smiled shyly at Dean, raising his beer slightly, blue eyes shining. “Then here’s to our perfect disaster.”

Dean felt his smile stretch wide as he gently clinked his bottle against Cas’.

[berf-a-smurf]

I’ve really been trying to avoid posting this but I’m desperately seeking help. I need to make rent, utilities, gas, insurance, and groceries for December.

CA$ 0 / CA$ 1500

(ETA: loan received Nov. 25; no longer desperately seeking financial aid.)

Interested parties, please read below the cut.

[ TLDR:

I’m struggling hard. Please consider browsing my photography for sale (http://mwac.logicality.ca) or sending some spare change my way via the methods listed under “HOW TO HELP” near the end below or on my purchasing page (http://mwac.logicality.ca/purchasing.html). Thank you immensely 🫶

]

My story

[TW: mention of suicide. Sensitive persons, please skip to “[END TW]” below.]

In July, I left my job as a bottled water (of the 5 gallon type) delivery assistant to attempt taking my life. I sweet talked a cab driver to take me and a nitrogen tank into the middle of nowhere.

For vulnerable people: that is not to give you ideas; instead PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE reach out to someone (my dad has since surprised me with his support; you never know who is really there for you until you ask) or even message me. Genuinely, sincerely, I will do my best to help everyone who messages me 🫶

My nitrogen tank and I sat in the woods for hours while I contemplated my plan. I felt so alone, like my disappearance would really mean nothing to anyone. My struggles and lack of skills (not to mention relentless imposter syndrome) would never let me keep a job. I was so hopeless. I continued on with my plan. I moved onto cleaning up my pictures. If my body and belongings were found, I wanted my family to have the good pictures to remember me by. No dumb screenshots, no nudes, etc. I didn’t get to the part where “my life flashed before my eyes”, but I stepped through it one picture at a time.

My pictures reminded me that I was capable of travelling and that there was so much beyond Canada that I still wanted to see. My pictures reminded me that I am capable of connecting with people and I shouldn’t leave my sister behind. And that I’ll find another partner to love as deeply as my ex. I remembered things I’ve achieved and that I’m capable of some pretty cool things.

I called 9-1-1 and asked for a police officer to pick me up and bring me to the psych ward. (I deemed them the best option as our paramedics are already stretched thin and our firefighters were busy with the province burning.) They ended up sending 3 squad cars - one with a dog to find me in case I did end up offing myself before they got there. They did the standard handcuffing, questioning, searching my person and belongings, and had me agree for them to seize the nitrogen tank.

[END TW]

They brought me to our hospital for more questioning, blood samples, the works. I stayed the night before being transported to the next town’s hospital’s psych ward. I was there for two nights and the whole thing crippled my belief in our mental health care system. But they got me referred to a psych clinic in my town so there’s that.

Even though my psychologist says it’s too soon for me to be working, I’ve had no choice but to seek employment. The water company was open to hiring me back but I haven’t heard from them since. I’ve also not heard from the places I’ve applied at. I received one of two months of EI that I applied for - I reported a day’s worth of work I did for one of my dad’s customers and they cut me off and I keep getting told that the adjudicator will reach out but it’s been months now.

I am continuing my therapy plan and continuing to apply for positions. It’s getting down to the wire now, though, and I may lose everything if I can’t get through December.

For transparency, my breakdown of expenses are as follows:

$815.00 for rent due Dec. 1st (water, sewer, garbage included)

$107.59 for Telus internet due Dec. 1st

$128.77 for car insurance due Dec. 7th

~$40.00 for electricity (I currently have a $30 credit on my account but am projected to use about $70 worth. My apartment is electric heat so the bill climbs as the temperature drops.)

Groceries are about $40/week

And the remainder is for gas for me to go to my in-person therapy appointments, attend work interviews, and visit my parents who live out of town.

TO HELP:

I am selling my photography for CA$5 per image as wallpaper or CA$30 per image as wallpaper with rights to print and post. More info on my purchasing page.

I also warmly accept donations of any size through PayPal.Me or Interac eTransfer.

Personal PayPal (https://www.paypal.me/joshmdm)

Photography PayPal (https://www.paypal.me/MiedemaWithACamera)

eTransfer to miedemawithacamera@gmail.com (I worry that bad actors would maliciously email my personal inbox or use it distastefully so I’m only providing my MWAC one)

I only ask for money you can spare. If your finances are tight, please like and reblog.

Thank you thank you thank you a million times from the bottom of my heart for reading and a million more in advance for any and every penny I’m offered. 🫶

To avoid doing an FAQ, please ask questions in the replies.

I wish you the best possible day!

[kayssweetdreams]

Camp WonderDream Part 4

Meanwhile, the Forest...

Leo trekked through the woods for who knows how long. He had tried to find where he had landed as a way to get back, but so far, it felt as if he were going in circles. He had tried to mark his path, but found that wherever he went, his path vanished. He had had tried to climb the trees, but he has fallen down into multiple muddy puddles. He had even try starting a fire to get a helicopter's attention, but mysterious gusts of wind just blew them out. He sighed as the shadows became longer, and the light of day became less and less.

"'Sigh...' Ok Leo think. Dad taught you this when we were on that nature walk. Moss grows on the...what side did Moss grow on again?" He asked himself "Mostly the North Side." A Spanish tinted voice said behind him "Yeah! That's right! Thanks mysterious voice behind me!" Leo thanked...before he realized what he just said. Quickly turning behind him, he saw a man with graying pink hair looking down at him with a smug smile. "There you are Chico! You sure did wander off pretty far from the camp." He said, his arms crossed. Leo quickly backed away from him...only to bump into something metal "Hey Sunspot!" A familiar voice said above him. He slowly looked up to see Sundrop smiling down at him. "Hiya Camper!" He said cheerfully, causing Leo to jump into Hakim's grip.

"Alright! Let's get back to camp!" He said, Sundrop put a hand on Hakim's shoulder before he snapped his fingers, and in a flash of rose petals, the three of them were transported to to Balan's office. "Hey Balan! We're back!" Sundrop said cheerfully. Balan nodded as he put down a toy he was playing with. "Thank you, you two are dismissed!" He said as Hakim sighed "Gracias, I need a bath anyway." He said, before disappearing again. "I'm gonna charge up now!" Sundrop said, skipping away to who knows where. Balan nodded before turning back to Leo, who was covered in mud, sticks, leaves and other things from being exposed to the elements.

"Now then..." He started he said, pulling out a folder with Leo's name on it, written in golden letters. Leo was shocked, so shocked that he didn't notice Balan raising his fingers and snapping them, causing a chair to appear underneath him...and a small clamp shut around his waist. "HEY!" Leo yelled, trying to loosen the clamp, but had no luck.

Balan ignored the boy's shouts and protests as he opened the file, and to Leo's shock, it had all of his information on it, as well as what had happened a few minutes ago "So Leo...It says you needed to come here DESPERATELY. Your parents had left you to stay with your cigarette smoking Aunt Hildegard Craig for a majority of the summer until they got a yes or a no on your dad's newest code. And they wanted you to stay there as the hotel that they are staying at is not child friendly." He said.

The blonde haired boy ignored him, still trying to get out of the chair, and though it was accurate, he didn't want to confirm anything in this camp. "Your silence tells me that I'm right. It also says here that you somewhat need a haircut...and now a bath" Balan continued. He snapped his fingers again and a comb and barber scissors appeared above Leo's head. The blonde haired boy looked in confusion and horror as he tried to escape the confines of his chair again. "Oh Don't worry Leo, it's only a little bit of hair, can't have it getting caught when you do activities at the camp ya know." Balan said as the comb and scissors got to work

Leo glared "Look, I'm sure this is a big misunderstanding, I am NOT supposed to be here. And even if I was, what about Aunt Hildegard? What's she gonna do when she realizes I'm not there?" He asked, but Balan just chuckled "How can she wonder where you are? If you're already there?" He asked, snapping his fingers and making a image of Aunt Hildegard's apartment showed, and in it was Leo!

"But-I...HOW?! How am I seeing me there? And I'm here?!" He questioned "Simple duplication spell, I had cast it during orientation. The duplicate stays with your aunt, while you stay here." He explained as the image vanished. Leo shook his head "But what about my stuff?" "Hakim grabbed it after you fell from your aunt's bed" Balan said. "Yeah, but, Can't I just get to the nearest city?" Leo asked, Balan threw his head back in laughter "Dear Child, we couldn't do HALF the stuff we do here if we were near civilization." He said.

Leo sighed, everything he tried so far had been countered by the entity being. Balan raised his eyebrows at him "I've seen and heard every trick in the book. It takes a lot to get past me and the staff." He explained, walking over to a nearby window. "I should know, some of the campers here had tried to do some of the same stuff you had tried. " He said, pointing down to some of the kids playing below them.

Leo felt his chair move upwards towards the window, and he couldn't believe what he was seeing, a red haired girl had become a enormous red panda, another girl with pigtails and a boy with a aviator helmet were levitating random things into the air, two boys were flying in the air, it almost seemed impossible what the boy was witnessing. Suddenly, a large golden rose erupted from the ground and up to the window, and the little girl from earlier was on it. She waved at the duo before sliding down the stem like it was a slide.

Balan turned to Leo again "I know that you may think that things are strange for you now, but if you give the camp a chance, I promise you'll like it." He said. Leo turned away from Balan again. He heard the counselor sigh. "Alright Leo, how about this? I'll let you experience camp for a week, and if you still desire to go home, you're free to go Deal?" Balan asked, holding out his hand, waiting for a shake. Leo relented...but he realized that this was better than being in a smoky apartment. "Alright, Deal." He shook Balan's hand, and at the same time, he felt the waist clamp release him.

Balan smiled at the boy "Excellent! Now, why don't you go and freshen up, I know you don't wanna spend your first night here covered in mud and leaves." He said, gesturing his dirty appearance. Leo was about to ask where a bathroom was, until he felt a small nuzzle at his leg. Looking down, he saw a small blue chick like creature with nubby wings. "Follow the Tim, he'll show you the way." Balan said, putting the file away. Leo followed the little bird, but that didn't mean that he didn't still trust Balan...in fact, he was planning his next escape plan...

This is a story inspired by @julili 's VERY adorable camp pic! I hope you enjoy AND go check out her work!

[roadtogracelandx45]

Runaway Bride|3| D. Winchester

@ohnoitsthebat

"I always have a choice." Ellie snapped before she could help herself, "Women have had rights for a long time."

"Sweetheart in this family, you don't. Your uncle and those, those boys."

His eyes narrowed at the girl, he had a chance to look into her before he came down for dinner. She was a good girl, but she spent a lot of time with Jo Harvelle, her cousin, The Winchesters brothers, and one brother's best friend. She had history.

"Have given you too much freedom."

"So going to school and earning my own money is too much freedom?" Ellie asked her twitching fingers to open up the clutch that she had carried with her, she wanted to text Jo and Dean and let them know what was going on.

They both would flip, and Dean would probably board the next flight out of Sioux Falls, even though he hated flying to get her.

"Yes. Here we don't like our women to be so independent."

"Who says I am staying to become one of you?"

There was acid dripping on the last two words. Staying here was going to be the last thing she wanted to do. Especially if she was going to be forced into staying.

"Says your mother and myself. See we made a deal with Mr. Gambino. And she is going to get the money that she is owed from your father's death and you will be marrying our son." 

Feeling sick to her stomach, she turned to her mother, desperately wishing she wasn't here and it wasn't true. She didn't want to believe this was true.

But the look on Angela's face answered her unasked question

. "I should have listened to Aunt Ellen and Jo, they said that you would do something like this to me. You have only cared about yourself." Ellie said before she stormed off into the bathroom angrily muttering curse words to herself as she did. *** Jo looked at her phone that was ringing and grinned at the name that was flashing.

"Hey, Dean! Ellie is calling." She called before she pressed the answer button.

"Hey cuz." she greeted. "You were fucking right. She brought me out here to have me fucking marry into the hierarchy." "Are you serious?" Cas questioned. "Yes. Angela is going to get the money the family has owed her since my dad's death if I marry this guy."

"You can't be forced into that," Sam commented, his brain already working overtime trying to figure out a way to get Ellie out of this. Legal or not.

Things wouldn't be the same, Dean wouldn't be the same. Ellie was the glue that held them together. And without her things would fall apart.

"What's going on?" Dean asked, coming into the room, annoyed that Jo pulled him away from the horror movie marathon that he was watching. "Hi, Dean."

There was a sudden shift in her voice, she sounded angry before but there was a sense of calm about her. She knew that Dean would solve this, he always did.

"Angela is making her marry a guy she has never met to get the money that was owed to her or is hers."

"Ellie, I will be there soon." Dean said, "Go to your hotel and stay there'." "Okay, I am gonna check into a new room."

There was a loud banging noise coming from Ellie's end of the phone call followed by her shouting at a man to get out.

"ELLIE!" They all shouted as the line disconnected., Sam and Cas both pushed themselves away from the walls they had been leaning against and Dean went more toward Jo and the phone.

"Call her again!" Dean demanded before turning to face his brother who was already on his computer looking at the next flight to New York., while Jo called her cousin's phone repeatedly trying to get ahold of her.

"Come on Ellie, answer the goddamn phone.' She muttered terror seizing her. *** "You called them?" Thomas shouted, gripping her forearms in his hands. "Yes." She returned angrily, "They are family and you aren't." The man raised his hand and brought it down hard against her cheek, in a slap that she deserved, Angela had made the mistake of letting her go to South Dakota and living with her dead husband's family.   Ellie clutched her cheek in shock, in her entire life she was never struck by a man. Sure Bobby, Dean, and Sam all had tempers about them but they never hit her, Aunt Ellen or Jo. She had only ever been slapped by her mother and the last time Dean took it upon himself to teach her how to defend herself, something she needed to learn just in case he and Sam were nowhere around to help her.

"Dean, I wish I would have waited for you to come home before I came out here. You couldn't have talked me out of this stupid fucking idea of being a happy family with my mother."

She was shaken out of her thoughts when he shoved her against the bathroom counter, trapping her between his body and the counter. His hand closed around her neck.

"Now you listen here, Eleanor. You are going to do exactly what your mother and I tell you or I am going to send people to bring your family here and kill them in front of you and then kill you. Do you understand?" 

Unable to speak, Ellie nodded her head, she didn't care what they did to her, she had to keep her family safe. Agreeing to this was something stupid like what Dean and Sam would do to keep her, Cas, and Jo out of trouble. But no it was her turn to do something and if it meant having to live without Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Sam, Cas, and Dean who would do it.

No matter how much it hurt.

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 219

The Hunter Games

Shhh, yes. I’m pushing the next Doctor Who episode back another day. It’s my nostalgia tour and I can do what I want. That said, I’ve been down a gaylor rabbit hole for the past few days and have a hard time separating myself from the endless dissections of her lyrics and *gestures frantically and widely* the everything going on, so it’s just supernatural today.

“The Hunter Games”

Plot Description: Desperate to find a cure for the Mark of Cain, Castiel comes up with a plan

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: doesn’t seem like anyone’s gonna die, except Crowley in his anxiety dreams

Crowley, if you won’t call Rowena Mommy, I will

She’s awful and I love her. She planted some kind of hex bag to CAUSE that nightmare?

Ah, I see we’re back to Dean’s anxiety dreams turned reality

Omg Claire’s still with them?? Really??? Like, she’s not in this episode (so far) but it sounds like it…or is Cas visiting her wherever she is now?

She’s so funny and unserious, she sent her eight year old son to a workhouse after abandoning him and her defense is that she won’t apologize for being a career woman. Honestly, she’s like if 1959 Maleficent ever tried seeming just a tad softer

Yeah. Castiel, you’re done coming up with plans. If that’s who I think it is (Metatron) under that sack…BABE. PLEASE.

I hate being right all the time

They brought him to their dungeonnnnnn. Feels like this won’t work out the way they plan

I HATE Metatron but his enjoyment piecing together what’s happening to Dean is in itself enjoyable

Omg, Dean’s slow, dramatic walk into the dungeon after Sam tells Metatron that he doesn’t care what happens to him because he killed his brother. HOOOOOOOO BOYYYY

Ok, she’s not in the bunker. Castiel somehow rented some kind of hotel room for her. Poor Claire. She really is down on her luck and heartbroken

I don’t like how they need the First Blade to cure Dean

Rowena and Crowley are so fucking salty to each other. It’s delightful. Now, what are you going to do with a scrap of Crowley’s tie??

I don’t trust THESE TWO CLAIRE’S HANGING OUT WITH NOWWWWW. And it looks like I’m right not to

What IS Rowena’s aim?? Like, obviously something to do with getting rid of her son once and for all but for what purpose?

Castiel…I don’t think “ask Crowley to go get the First Blade” is the kind of plan that should be criticized by the guy whose plan was “get Metatron out of heaven’s prison”

OR THE GUY WHO THINKS “DEAN SHOULD REACH OUT TO CLAIRE” IS REASONABLE. Cas, babes, I love you but like…what?

And yet I can’t stay mad because “I’ll text you her number. I like texting…emoticons…” he’s so precious

DOES ROWENA WANT TO RULE HELL HERSELF?? I’d love that for her

The actress playing Rowena? Good. Rowena as an actress? Completely unconvincing. AND YET CROWLEY SEEMS TO BE FALLING FOR IT. SEEMS because I’m not fully convinced he is

Dean threatening Metatron should not be this hottttt

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? THE FIRST THING HE NAMES IN HIS LIST OF REASONS TO BE PISSED OFF AT METATRON WAS STEALING CAS’S GRACE?!?!?! Sure, it was also the first chronologically, but…..COME ON

Cas just subtly taking care of Sam. Just resting his hand on Sam’s shoulder and telling him it’s late. It’s cute. It’s nice

I hate the setback that getting the First Blade was a waste of time for now.

Does “the river ends at the source” mean that Cain has to do something? Does he have to actually die for Dean to get rid of it? Does he need to kill Cain with the First Blade?

Omg the dude Claire’s hanging out with looks familiar not because I’ve seen him somewhere else…I’ve already seen him ON THIS SHOW, PLAYING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTER

I hate that that one severely messed up human did not want to talk to the other severely messed up human…imagine

[nityarawal]

3/23/23

Dear Courts-

This is my testimony for myself & Carol Lund with her husband Keith.

I was slumlorded out of Joan Grandizio's home at the "Freedom Farm," at 

59605 Grandon Road in Turweleger community of Anza, CA in January.

I started working with Joan on a referral from our handyman Ryan Wickoff. 

He said she fired him for no good reason. He was going to move in. 

So we hired Eddy Lyons - another kind handyman to investigate the trailer I was buying to tow to her farm in Sep. 

Eddy also still needs to be paid for that service! We both did this in good faith and spent a day in Pine Cove with the owner Oceana Cotton.

Eddy also witnessed this kind of abuse at Barbara Bradford's farm after her maintenance guy raped me! She stole most if my furniture and storage!

I was living at Kosh's airbnb in Pinyon at 69907 Averill Drive, Mountain Center, CA 92561 at the time. 

We found out Kosh's well water was polluted (and spreading giardia!)

I passed a parasite worm there for 1st time in life after 1000's of cleanses because of dozens of foul rentals & dirty hospitals/court violence!

Then I moved next door to Mary Schmitz's animal rescue Farm at:

62950 Pinyon Dr

Mountain Center CA 92561 

Moonrise Ranch ✨🐎🏕😊

To a dirty teepee she said was cleaned and 2 geckos crawled under stomach 1st night!

I cleaned her farm for months 24/7 (and it appeared deeply neglected for months.)

I told Mary we needed someone to tow trailer in October and she said her ex boyfriend Sean was going to steal it for himself! ): 

I asked her to advise him not to since she's a realtor and this was my verbal disclosure of my plan to buy it- because she said we could move it to her farm- and I only needed someone to tow it. 

I said it was mean and she drunkenly laughed it off. 

All her instruments were stolen too! (I have pictures of them so we can return them to rightful owners!)

She must be looting all her clients because she stole 3 guitars and all my roomful of assets since I took this job with Joan in January and won't let me go home! 

They also blocked me from water and home many times while I was at Elliots- locking me out late at night and in bad weather!

Oceana Cotton had promised to sell trailer to me or give it to Stevie and Joleen. 

Stevie now has cancer of dick & needs his home returned! (It was indeed stolen!)

Joan liked my handyman Eddy Lyons but fired him too for being friends with her "hated" tenants Carol & Keith and not obeying her "silencing" orders.

Finally, in January things were unbearable tending to Mary's 6 sick dogs while she battled alcoholism- she'd moved me to one of her 5 boyfriend's fathers home: Dan Elliot senior at:

61283 Chalet DR.

MOUNTAIN CENTER, CA

92561.

She promised he was sober- yet I had to ask him and friends not to do crystal meth in house because I'm really allergic and its illegal- cleaned needles up from whole property! I told him this condemned his house as a realtor, I'm allergic to Nazi drugs and don't want to ever see or smell it in a house! 

He was living in his Inherited Probate getting slumlorded by siblings in court stressed out of his head ill. Feds were terrorizing him too and Kosh on late payments with drone trespassing.

So I cooked, cleaned, provided food- gave him all my money and was his slave for months after being enslaved to Mary at her farm- and now Joan doxed my location to cops on brobes for months at her home & camping in snow.

I stayed one week at Dennis Sketchleys- a handyman that gave me a tick in my bed- when he slumlorded me from 54399 valleyview and tollgate/country club homes and beat me. I promised never to go on his property again but was desperate in snow! 

Then Dennis kicked me out after Mary's client Jessie was murdered at her airbnb tree house listing with Mike in Pine Cove. 

(I really need assets from Divorce Dissolution so I don't have to rent from ex-cons and field their abuse!)

Joan hired me to move to her Landers rescue with Glen; he's her 400 pound laborer that is ill from inhumane conditions- he can no longer walk- and rides machines around property hobbling to tend to animals.

There was no hot water or kitchen.

Joan offered me her "clean" Dome house. I got there after dark and took her word that it'd been cleaned for me. 

The bed was filthy and floors covered in dirt I saw in morning. 

Joan wanted me to take over Glen's job at her Lander's farm.

She said Glen was making: $400/mo at

$15/hour and she covered Phone payments, 2 days off, 25 hours a week for Morning feedings with Blankets on horses,

Checking on all cat & pippy Litters.

Puppies- are in-door & out-door with Double gates. Glen used Tractor to take

Manure to dumpster with Wheelbarrow.

She was marketing Earthen domes on camp websites. She said there was no

Kitchen which doesn't seem legal. 

I could see Glen wouldn't live long when I got there with such I'll health abd depression in substandard room even though he's my age! 

I worked for several days alongside them all training with him and encouraged Joan to keep him too. 

(He doesn't have anywhere to go and depends on his job and is very subservient and hard working despite Joan's demands. He nods as told to colleagues/tenants like obedient slave despite physical handicaps from her grossly neglected abd functionally obsolete animal shelters!)

Glen promised to put in hot water and a shower in a bathroom within a week since there was nowhere to clean up properly and it was very cold and windy. I was freaking out with no shower after 2 days of cleaning pig & horse / puppy/cat shit.

Joan asked me to come back to her Anz farm to work on contracts. 

She said I'd be doing the work exchange like Glen taking over his job. 

Joan gave me very detailed directions to her property. 

She said:

"10:30 a.m.

Come down mtn to Rancho Mirage

74 straight

10 west

Hwy 62

29 palms

Windmills

Yucca valley (call Joanne) 

Old women springs rd -Hwy 247- left (north)

20 miles to

Reche Rd. 

Curves to right - turn right

Pass

Landers post office - GPS

5-10 min away 

Left see Moose Lodge

Next White Building

Says Billfs Hall

Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)

1 block f/ end

About mile

Knox- ni-man - (right)

(Applegate way should say)

Pass abandoned house

Next property 

Will see 1 8th 1

(JOANS)

TELEPHONE POLE

58562

METAL EAGLE DANCER

CHURCH- JESUS SAVES

STORAGE"

So I think it's supposed to be:

58562 Applegate Way? 

Or Knox-ni-man? 

(Note: She failed to mention if it was Gibralter Ave or Dr. And they're side by side. How many have they tricked & trashed cars on tow? 

Please present my full letter!)

But the 2nd day I was there I came home one night from getting groceries and Must've passed Gibralter and took a second Gibralter on Left! 

Joan failed to mention there were two Gintralter roads parallel next to each other in my notes as you can see. 

So I end up at the end of this road with a deserted house in the sand. 

I looped around to see where I went wrong on directions and came back to dead end with abandoned house confused. 

I tried to circle out and got stuck in a sand driveway.

 I called Glen to get me and he said put car in reverse or neutral and slammed my car right into the back side of his truck! 

He promised his friend would fix it next day but failed to follow up. I've written them both many times!

I sent Joan the bill for over $3000 and she's shirking her responsibility to all employees that have worked for her.

She invited me back to Freedom Farm in Anza to shower and use her kitchen. 

She said everything was hers in refrigerator and insisted I help myself. 

She wanted to do the contract with me so I paid $40 to download a work exchange rental but she wouldnt sit down and focus on it for several days. She has added from parasites!

Her agenda was to wrongfully evict her tenants!

I told Joan I don't go to court or talk to police due to PTSD. 

She wanted me to go to the Courthouse with her to smear the tenants and I said I can't go to court. 

I asked her to drop me at a park or mall while I wait for her. 

She refused to drop me off and finally I had to get out at curb of Murietta Courthouse and wait for hours in the landfill across street. 

She had no sympathy for PTSD I have from domestic in-house terrorism of courts! 

Then she grilled me about my divorce and lack of settlements all day.

Since then I found out psychiatrist courts kidnapped me to Dr. Singh Was advertising my head for a Probate murder at Moreno Valley Hospital for Riverside Health. 

We feel Joan took bribes on all employee heads for court and is contentious.

Joan failed to sit and focus on contract all weekend because she was obsessed with wrongfully Evicting her tenants! 

I told her I can't Get involved- as my custody battle is priority of my life- and I don't have energy to deal with inhumane actions to people. 

For an animal rescue- we could all see she was being careless and cruel to all of us employees.

Joan told me her lawyer got ill visiting her and had to have his leg amputated when he was recently there and put me on a couch on the enclosed porch waiting room. She said Glen had slept there before me and didn't want me to open it into a bed. 

We feel Joan was intentionally spreading germ warfare. 

All the employees were traumatized by her lawyers diseased fate serving her and she never cleaned out his room. 

When I went into it I vomited and disease is rampant in her homes.

Joan instructed me to never speak to tenants Carol & Keith. 

She said she'd trained Glen just to nod at them. This is not my way but I was trying to be a loyal servant so followed orders. Carol & Keith were confused by my silence and scared having a stranger on property they weren't introduced to, so it put me in a uncomfortable, and compromised position.

One night I was in kitchen making tea and Joan called on speaker phone. 

Carol & Keith heard and were also in kitchen. 

Joan kept calling Carol "fatty" loudly on my phone and screaming other nasty names goading her on my speaker phone from Landers, meanwhile putting me in harms way with her upset and bullied tenants in THEIR kitchen! 

I also ate some potato salad and salami- because Joan said everything was hers- when in fact it was the tenants! That caused alot if drama! I paid Carol back $5 and decided to testify for her rather than Joan!

On Saturday- which was supposed to be my day off- Joan called and texted over a dozen times from morning to night about her tenant dispute harassing us. 

I told her I needed some rest from her drama. 

She wanted to call cops on tenants. 

I said if she needs to do that let me know- so I could leave.

 I have an extremely clean and prudent history despite many court contentious people like Joan trying to take bribes on head in ponzi scam against moms and lying in smear campaigns.

Joan knew I was just diagnosed with PTSD from officer rapes and foul play in September and I couldn't talk to them. 

She lied and said tenant called cops! 

Officer King came and tried to interrogate me and drag me in. 

I said I was just a guest- sat in my car- and refused his interrogation. 

Joan called and he wanted my phone to talk to her. 

I said "no" so he was pissed he had to use own phone and was rude to me rest of night. 

It was upsetting that Joan dragged me in anyways- and kept saying my name "Nitya" - which is very unusual and private. I texted her to never dox my location to a cop or my name again! 

I asked officer King for his card before he left and he was rude not to give it to me. 

I have sent videos of all the sarcastic, rude and nasty things he said to me to both Carol & Joan. 

It was extremely racist.

I told Joan I would leave if cops Terrorized us again and she led me to believe tenants had called- when it was her! She left a voice-mail confessing and then after lying about it.

Monday she wanted me to go to court with her again; I said "no" so she wanted me back in Landers and arranged for another laborer to come up. 

Monday morning I broke her rules -she said -by asking Carol for cops business card before I left. 

I also found out my x's atty died in a scuba diving accident last summer. 

It seemed preminiscious since I'd written a song about her called Barracuda Mamma. Sharkbait song unfolded that weekend and I was pleased with sequel I'd written and good news for my children's freedom from one atty in their pedophile sting.

I sent my new song to Joan and Carol as I was getting ready to drive to her Landers farm hours away.

Joan texted me to leave. 

It was very cold considering I'd worked 24/7 in slumming conditions for a week! She asked about my records and was looking to see if she could get me in trouble for court. 

I confessed dmv.org consulted with my ex husband and was withholding my registration even though IRS stole thousands of dollars of tax returns from 2016 divorce and also hired gay officer Enoch and Daniel Crabtree to steal my Lexus rental car on rape bribes from attys. I'd been caged by Dr. Singh 18 months of covid in shit filled rooms slumlorded out of over a dozen homes, all my assets stolen, and dmv refused to honor years where I couldn't even use Lexus Lemon while it was being serviced! Santa Monica Lexus dealership tried to steal my car while I was raped at hospitals and dmv.org refused to register it. I paid several hundred and they said that would suffice! 

They got several thousand from IRS yet they still fail to send registration sticker! Joan knew I was working for her to clean up that one thing from previous courts abuse!

I left within an hour when she said "bye," only to be greeted by officers Schmitt coming out of bushes hiding at gate. 

He cordially told me to have a good day.

 A block later Sheriff Curtis was coming down her dirt road and pulled me over. 

He said he was arresting me on registration and Cuffed and beat me into back of his car.

Carol said she was talking to officer Schmitt and he realized I lived and worked for Joan so came out and had Curtis release me. 

Curtis threatened to steal my car if he ever sees me again. 

Sargeant Protero raided my home and stole my phone & dog Blu I share with our handyman Eddy Lyons- in covid of 2020. 

Mountain Liquor say our Nazi Sheriff Brags about violence they've inflicted on me and say they wished they'd stolen my Lexus as well as my rental car when they had me raped with broken ribs in covid for 18 months of shit filled hospitals.

Mary Schmitz stole all my belongings from her boyfriend's dad's house where I was renting. 

We all feel both her and Joan doxed my location to have me murdered.

Joan wrote to say she was surprised I didn't go to jail! 

She asked me to wait all day while she sorted everything out. 

I sat in rain for 8+ hours- then she called to say she didn't want me back and laid her silencing trip on me.

I've been homeless since camping in snow. 

Mary Schmitz refuses to return assets and Joan just sends "cease & desist" messages to any reasonable communication.

We feel these animal rescues are a farce and they're actually abusing humans and animals.

I've seen 7 Dr's since with over 20 variants of parasites and bugs. 

Carol says Joan had covid and was taking parasite medication- but she failed to disclose Germ warfare! 

I need reimbursement on car damages, gas, health repercussions and a home for that week of hard work we all did. 

I need $50k in damages to cover unemployment for next year and would like to have my home back with tenants. 

We will bug bomb and disinfect it. Otherwise both her properties should be closed down and are condemned. 

We feel Joan has abused over 6 employees just since September spreading parasitic disease, gaslighting & abusive tactics; and she's not in her right mind to practice business. 

She never had a reasonable reason to fire all of us and it appears she's working for courts full time as a nazi soldier weaponizing motherhood. 

We feel 50k is a fair sum if she settles today so that we can heal at home in peace for remainder of year with kids & new puppies. 

Thankyou!

Blessings,

Nitya Rawal

Encinitasbeachhome.com

National Association of REALTORS 

Journalist @nityalakshmi108 - all docs and Grievances posted since September.

PS

More notes from Joan on Landers Job:

Ac

Porta potty

Joan Grandizio

Facebook 

3 or 4 hours a day

Dome house: 

Bigger Fridge

Table

Toaster oven ( which I bought at Anza Hardware & just returned- because I've been terrified Curtis & Nazi cops would steal my car & kill me with their hospital & court contentious bribed colleagues of atty Sharkbait circle!)

No water

Park in front of Dome

Walk

5 acres

2nd half sold

"Guanacasa" - Costarica

Transfer benefits to Costa

Start business 2-3 years

Buy a property that has a business

150k Ranchette 

Left on Gibraltar (if get to end of Gibralter - Gone too far- see back of property.)