#and wol joker would like to joke that too

[nshi-ao3]

Oh and for fun, here's one last 'WoL Joker gets sent to the past' scanario:

Ann: Wait did you get a tattoo on your neck??

Wol Joker: Oh that. Yeah. (shrug) Joined a cult.

Ryuji: what

Regular Joker: ...Do they offer healthcare

Ryuji: dude

[endlesscrimson89]

FFXIV Write2023, Prompt 14: Clear.

[Companion piece to 10th entry, "Shock"]

Adam's goal became clear the moment he woke up in Senri’s body. Or - to be precise - the moment he realized that this whole isekai nonsense was apparently a thing that somehow happened to him. 

Not that he especially minded, though, as the last thing he remembered was getting hit by a car - so as devoted atheist, waking up inside the game was definitely preferable to the non-existance. Or finding out that hell was also a thing. 

No, instead whatever gods were up there, had to be laughing their asses off at his stumbling when he spent a good few hours getting used to having a tail and swearing at the idea of making his avatar Miqo’te. 

Though, he quite quickly figured that his avatar - Senri - didn’t exactly looked like he did on his screen, mind you. Nope, gawking at his reflection in the shallow pond he found soon after waking up, he figured that whatever god shoved his soul into this body had to trying to make up for some sort of complex... or something. 

Only thing that agreed, was the colors - with the fucking switch somehow apparently accounting for the mods he used to make Senri’s hair ventablack and his eyes paler than the character creator's screen allowed... because why the fuck not, right? 

Only saving grace was the fact that now he was VERY happy that he didn’t think to make his avatar a chick... because if he got shoved into a girl's body instead? God, but that would be awkward!

So, yeah, Adam woke up in a middle of a fucking desert, his body covered in a VERY familiar looking starter gear and with no clue where to go or what to do. He stumbled for a while - obviously - and his first encounter with a monster ended badly. 

Fucking cactuars were no joke, enough said. 

But even getting stung to death had an upside, he figured when he opened his eyes again at the bottom of a massive, spinning crystal, because apparently the Respawn was also a thing and somehow his body was attuned in Ul’dah. Though it didn't take him long to figure that Ul’dah also didn't look anything like it did in game. 

...and NPC's weren't as nice, either. 

Whatever cosmic joker thought it was a good idea to make him look as he did, had to be rolling over in laughter with the amount of chicks that wanted a piece of him now. He figured that perhaps if he wasn’t gay, it would be fun but those bitches in Ul’dah...? Well, had a fucking issue taking no for an answer. 

Figures, right?

Dodging them while trying to get a hang of things was definitely a pain and when he finally understood that somehow he landed in FFXIV before the whole Dalamut crash... Yeah, his goal was fucking clear like crystal. 

Mainly: get the fuck out of Eorzea before Bahamut turns it into toast. 

Hey, he didn’t sign up for this and whatever happens with the WoLs in this battle he liked the cinematic trailer of... he figured he might preferably skip. 

So, he took a gig at Colliseum for a few months, picked up a Gladiator class and rolled with it - still dodging horny ladies - until he got enough Gil to get the fuck out of the dodge. 

When it came to picking a direction, it was also clear like a day. Adam figured that all things considered, and if was counting right - if the sense of time was existing in this screwed up universe - the dude he had the biggest crush on for years now should be like... available right now. He had no clue how old was his own body, especially having no real idea how the aging of Miqo’te worked - but looking in the mirror his reflection looked rather on the young side. Too fucking pretty for his liking, but yeah... young. Twenty, perhaps? Well, as far as he could say - without making himself look suspicious by asking others - he looked like a young adult... with cat-like additions. 

The day he parked his ass on the ship heading to Old Sharlayan he breathed with relief, gleefully waving a 'bye-bye' toward the harbor of Limsa Lominsa until it became a tiny dot on the horizon. Have fun burning, for all he cared - not very much appreciating the experience so far. Bless Yoshi.P for sending those horny bitches into oblivion! Maybe after revamp it's going to become a more LGBT+ friendly space... or however the fuck this whole thing worked, because Adam still had no real idea. 

Hey, using magic was pretty cool, and all - even if it didn't take him long to figure he quite sucked at it. Briefly taking a gander at Taumaturgy taught him quickly that he was better off as Gladiator... well, Paladin now. 

And, fuck, at least he could heal himself with it, because dying...? Still hurt like a bitch!

Not to mention this whole respawning thing boggled his mortal mind. He tried not to think about that too deeply... again busy dodging the horniness of Eorzean 'ladies' on a fucking uncomfortable sea voyage across the sea. What in game looked uncomfortable - that idea of the fucking big 'below deck' shared by all passengers in the opening of Endwalker, proved to be a blessing in disguise. With someone always being up and about, those bitches couldn't do more than leer... and fuck, but they did - constantly. 

Three weeks later, he nearly jumped off the ramp as soon as it hit the murmur of the harbor and downright sprinted toward the registration before any other goddamn 'lady' could 'offer' her company during his stay in city of scholars. 

Thankfully his faked papers held the scrutiny of the officials (making him sent a silent thanks toward the guild of rogues in Limsa, no matter how fucking expensive those were). Another thanks he sent for Gulaf Baldesion, who apparently had a good idea (for Adam, that is) to sit his ass in Isle of Val and stay put. He figured as much from the game, and the rogues were pretty damn surprised why he needed a fake letter from the guy, but with enough Gil apparently there were no things quite impossible... So, hey, it almost made him nostalgic with similarity to Earth. 

...not quite, but almost. 

Registration done, all his measly belongings thrown over his shoulder, Adam headed toward the higher level of the city and the crystal of the Aetheryte. For obvious reasons, attuning was kind of a necessity, least he got unlucky and landed right back in Eorzea. 

That done and armed into a fake latter from Baldesion naming him a 'bodyguard' for the man's young protégé, he headed to Baldesion Annex, quite hoping that the counter letter going out of Limsa to the man reached him by now. Just in case, he preffered to have all his bases covered. 

For the guy, Senri Tia, the Warrior of Light, offered his protection to the last known descendant of royal family of Allagan Empire. He had no clue if Baldesion knew what was the Eye of the Allag or why G'raha was dumped on him - if he suspected that he probably didn't know, if he left the guy to rot in Sharlayan. Maybe him knowing it would change the dude's attitude... but he hardly gave a fuck as long as he was allowed his goal. 

Frankly, he was a fucking simp for G'raha and he wasn't ashamed of that. And if the universe chose to dump his miserable soul into this particular world, there was no way he would miss the opportunity to meet his idol. 

...even if G'raha, when he finally saw him, looked pretty young. Well... far younger than Adam calculated or was comfortable with, to be frank.

Still fucking cute, though! 

Learning that his intended target just a few weeks ago passed sixteen namesday, however, put a damp on his plans of getting in the redhead’s pants... so to say. All stares and blushing on his part aside... Adam figured that considering how his body looked like, wasn't that surprising - or fair - to boggle the cutie's mind. 

Decided to stay at his side as his friend, he settled into the quiet life among the Students of Baldesion seamlessly... mostly. Well, once most of Old Sharlayan's citizens figured that from now picking on his mismatched-eyed charge was a big fucking no-no, they didn't have that many issues. Here at least the idea of homosexuality wasn't that alien, so after the news spread that he wasn’t interested in girls, he was down to only dodging horny guys... still a bummer, but hey, he would take a win over nothing! 

A few broken jaws later, at least they got the clue and left him alone, so other than newcomers to the city Adam - or Senri, as he was increasingly used to - was downright toasty by the time news hit of... well, Eorzea taking one for the team. Not that he was surprised, every night going out to look at the ever-closer Dalamut... but he still made sure to pretend a proper shock. 

By that day, he and Raha were more than friends for over a year, but the news had him sitting down and doing some serious soul-searching and calculations. 

From his by then foggy memory of the game, he knew that in five years someone here would get a bright idea of investigating the Crystal Tower and drag his lover’s sexy behind into this whole... thing. 

And he had no clue if there would be another WoL for Scions to recruit. One to face van Belsar and all that mess beforehand. 

Admittedly, Adam didn't consider himself to be super smart person. He had no clue why did he end up in this world, no god spoken to him to make things clear or whatever, so he was simply getting by best he could. He kept his head low, took care of Raha and would be happy to continue to do so... but his conscience was eating on him, to be honest. 

And Raha, being the observant little shit, finally demanded answers as to why 'Senri' was so bummed out all of the sudden. Spending over three years constantly together, including a year as lovers, made the little tease know just all the right ways to finally make him confess... and as much as Adam enjoyed the process, he was pretty relived to come clean. 

Stumped, too, because Raha wasn’t as surprised as he should be. Well, until...

"You talk in your sleep, babe," the redhead announced with a potent roll of his mismatched eyes and he, honestly, never loved him more than in that moment. "So... when do we go?"

And so it was settled that they're going back to Eorzea... together. Meaning, he was going back because for Raha it would be a first, obviously. 

Not having a clear idea of the timeline, they picked a year after the news of Minifilia Warde establishing the Scions of the Seventh Dawn reached the Old Sharlayan. 

Raha was twenty-one and Senri still had no clue how old he was, exactly. He still looked young, so they figured that he - his body - wasn't that much older than his redhead... They both pointedly ignored the fact that he didn’t seem to age a day - physically - since reaching the city of scholars. He also didn't happen to die in the meantime, so Adam knew that his lover was taking his story about 'respawning' with grain of salt. He VERY vehemently refused when Adam proposed to prove it to him, so...yeah. 

Figuring that by taking Raha along he was already messing up the story, they settled into the idea of improving what Senri still remembered of how it was supposed to play out. 

Another miserable, three-weeks-long sea voyage later, they landed on Eorzean soil... and, actually, they found that they didn’t need to bother in the first place. 

Staking out Thancred - alone, after accidentally spotting the tall Scion in Ul’dah, where they decided to take residence for time being - while hidden from sight via stealth, Senri witnessed the moment a young, fresh-faced adventurer came to 'Lilira's' rescue near the Sultanatree. Swiftly joined by Thancred he was tailing, he decided against stepping in, instead watching and considering the development. Then listened in on ensuing conversation. 

The adventurer, cute and enthusiastic Keeper named Nell, an arcanist as much as he could tell by watching her fight, seemed like an ill pick for the WoL, being a tiny, whiff of a girl with long, silver hair. But watching her and her mannerisms from his peculiar perspective, something else became clear in Adam's mind. 

She was a player, like him. No, not exactly like him, but the way she moved, gestured and didn't say a damn thing while the others appeared to hear something... He figured that she was an avatar, with some noob behind the steer in the real world. Or the other world. 

His world. 

And another clear thing: by the joke of the universe or something, Adam had become a NPC - who already messed up someone's playthrough. Self-aware NPC who wasn't complaint to the rules of the universe he was shoved in, apparently. Or, perhaps he was really dead and all of this was some sort of complex afterlife... 

Well, he didn’t really care either way, leaving them to head back to Ul’dah and to share the development with his lover. Figuring that Raha would have a better idea how to proceed, he however couldn't resist the thought toward this 'player' behind the veil. 

Hope you enjoy the ride, pal... Because he wasn’t nearly close to being done with making a mess of things.