#and without it it's not possible to solve the game boards

[kushanna]

i hate this type of red truth cause it's not specified whether the red sentence by itself is a truth for the murder we're talking about atm or for the game board as a whole. genji and nanjo were not killers? if you're telling me they can't be killers at all in the first game board then that's a huge bummer for me

also hate this one cause yeah?? does she guarantee that the unidentified corpses are actually corpses though?? i do understand that yes, since she did say "there were no body double tricks", but GOD that's such a ridiculous play with words. get out of here

[anachronismstellar]

SQH x Original Goods SQQ ;>

ooooooh wait, WAIT I have to think this one

Let's all pretend is not 4 am shhhh

I feel like OG SQQ would be attracted by SQH competence, like a game of cat and mouse or or OH WAIT I KNOW

------

The black and white pieces were carefully organized over the wooden board, the game paused as both peak lords took their time to consider the possible strategies. Shen Qingqiu had been the last one to make a move, capturing one of Shang Qinghua's stones, turning it between his fingers as he took the opportunity to observe the An Ding Peak Lord.

He didn't know how they ended up in this situation. If someone asked Shen Qingqiu when he had started observing Shang Qinghua, he had no exact answer. He knew it hadn’t been during their Head Disciple days, then Shang Qinghua had blended so completely against the wall of yellow robes that Shen Qingqiu could barely remember him during his missions. His best bet would be one of the first meetings as peak lords, Yue Qingyuan still trying to organize twelve egotistical cultivators as each of them tried to grab more missions and more resources for their own peak.

Hah, he would have more luck shoving twelve cats in a bag.

But then, the An Ding Peak Lord stood up, slamming a pile of papers so high it had been a miracle it didn’t fall all over their table.

"May I speak, Zhangmen-Shixiong?" Shang Qinghua had asked after a short but respectful bow, flipping his sleeves in a circular motion to wrap them around his arms in a graceful movement. The he proceeded to metaphorically and literally grab all of them by the scruff of their necks, organizing their speaking order, cutting their speeches short with a no nonsense "Thank you" every time they spoke beyond their scheduled time.

"We can stop here for today," Yue Qingyuan said with his brows slightly up, not able to hide his surprise when they finished things before dinner time. "Thank you, Shang-Shidi, for your help."

"Of course, Zhangmen-Shixiong," Shang Qinghua answered, but Shen Qingqiu could see his mind was already somewhere else, rushing to get to the door before anyone else.

Since then he couldn't help but keep an eye on yellow robes passing by, eager to hold the other for a conversation, to pick on his brain.

He blinked, coming back to his bamboo house by the soft sound of rustling silk and jade against wood as Shang Qinghua made his move, holding back a frown.

"Either play properly or leave," Shen Qingqiu said as he took another white stone from the board, putting it a bit too forcefully on his little pile on the table.

"Ah sorry, sorry, Shen-Shixiong, I'm having issues with a special ink shipment, and then Mu-shidi asked for a flower that I know he knows it only grows during winter and it's summer-"

"Stop blabling," he sighed as he looked up, glaring at his ceiling to pray to Heavens for patience. Last time he had lost his temper with Shang-shidi the man had vanished for weeks, leaving Shen Qingqiu without a decent Go player and a bad taste on his mouth. "I have no patience for your mental games today."

And as if by magic the man in front of him transformed, the suck up smile sliding from his face as Shang Qinghua straightened up his posture, the small man growing twice his size as broad shoulders filled his robes properly. "This one apologizes for testing Shen-Shixiong's patience," Then Shang Qinghua slowly twisted his head to the side, cracking his neck followed by a sigh. "I had to spend the morning dealing with Zhangmen-Shixiong, and you know how it is."

Shen Qingqiu let a bitter chuckle escape, sliding his fan open to hide half of his face, knowing full well how good his eyes looked over the painted paper.

"What? Sucking his dick isn't solving the problem?"

The effect was immediate. Shang Qinghua that had decided to take a sip of his tea almost chocked on it, gasping for air for a good minute, face so red one could think he had never written porn in his life.

Oh yes, Shen Qingqiu knew about his little stories too. Shang Qinghua wasn't the only one with spies all over the mountains.

"I- We- It's not-"

"Oh, spare me," Shen Qingqiu scoffed, lazily fanning himself, as he gave one last glance at the board, mourning their forgotten game. Shame, it was so difficult for them to meet up for a match. Of course Yue Qingyuan had to spoil even this for him. "You might be able to lie to those buffoons Wei Qingwei and Liu Qingge, but I have two perfectly functioning eyes. Also, there are so many late night meetings one must attend before it gets excessive."

It was good to see that red suited Shang Qinghua just as much as yellow. And Shen Qingqiu had to use all his will to not laugh as the other peak lord did his best to recompose himself, all in vain.

"My real question is... And I know I will regret the answer," Shen Qinggiu raised his hand to stop the new barrel of excuses so he could finish speaking. "How ih the all realms did that start. Did he offered you a holiday of some kind? Or maybe he wanted to thank you for dealing with Liu Qingge last stunt, Heavens knows you deserve a raise for that."

Again, Shen Qingqiu wasn't expecting a real answer. In fact, he wasn't expecting an answer at all, the way Shang Qinghua was blushing, the An Ding peak lord was about to faint or run away before Shen Qinggiu could snap his fan closed.

What he did get, however, was a muffled string of words, followed by a groan and a whine. Peharps he had hit the mark with one of his hypothesis? Now, things have gotten even more interesting.

"Speak plainly, Shidi, you know I can't stand mumbling."

"He complimented my hands!" Shang Qinghua squaked, his voice so high it had scared the poor birds on the garden.

There was a beat of silence as Shen Qingqiu waited for the rest of the explanation, barking a laugh when nothing came.

"That's it? Is it that easy to make you open your legs?"

"Oh shut up, Shixiong, you say that as if you wouldn't do it too!"

That, was crossing a line.

Shen Qingqiu never had to explain himself or his hatred for Yue Qingyuan to the other peak lord, it was if Shang Qinghua knew somehow that they shared a past. That was another thing that drove them together, the fact that Shang Qinghua was able to keep his mouth shut, even when he could use it for his own gain.

"Shixiong, I'm so sorry I-"

"Do tell," he interrupted what was for sure about to be an emotional moment for both of them, lips pressed thin in a frown, making sure to send his best murder glare to the man in front of him. "What compliment did our steemed Zhangmen-Shixiong could have used to conquer the slippery An Ding Peak Lord?"

He could see Shang Qinghua's brain working a way to escape the situation, his eyes darting left and right, checking all the exists of the small house. He could also see the moment Shang Qinghua had resigned himself to his fate, shrugging and waving his hands, buying himself time before answering:

"He said I had nimble fingers? And then I panicked and asked if he wanted to see how nimb they were or something, I don't remember and then, well, we, uh-"

"Well?"

"W-Well what?"

"How nimb they are?"

It finally clicked, Shang Qinghua's face going from embarassed to surprised, then interessed as he made a point of putting both hands on the table, slowly tapping his fingers on the top of it, the little tease.

"Would Shen-Shinxiong like to find out for himself?"

Shen Qingqiu felt his mouth drying as a shiver went up his spine. He wanted to scream at himself, to throw Shang Qinghua out of his house and hit him with the Go board on his way out, just out of spite.

On the other hand, he couldn't deny that Shang Qinghua was a handsome man when he put on some effort. Specially when he was commanding a room of peak lords, giving orders left and right, so sure of his information and knowledge that they had no other choice but follow.

How would that be...

"Follow me, Shidi," he got up in a measured movement, holding back his excitement as he guided them towards his room. Time to see if not only what those fingers could do, but also to put that smart mouth for better use than fumbling excuses.

And just as he had done many times before, Shang Qinghua surprised him once again, making Shen Qingqiu scare the birds with an entirely other type of screams.

------

This got,,,, Insanely long holy shit.

Also, it's kinda a continuation of the SQH/YQY ask?? dshiufhdsuifhui

I hope you liked!!! Thank you for the ask it was a blast to write it!!! :DDDD

[sexhaver]

Magic the Gathering rules: a centralized, continually updated document built on a framework established by a math PhD 30 years ago that can be used to resolve literally any situation that could possibly arise, no matter how complex. "reading the card explains the card". literally Turing complete.

Yu-Gi-Oh! rules: a slapdash mess of individual card rulings and functional errata held together by spit, prayers, and bans. Konami didn't invent the concept of "reading the card explains the card" until 2011 with Problem-Solving Card Text and even then it's not 100% consistent. it's frankly a miracle that the game functions at all without exploding and injuring bystanders.

Hearthstone rules: there was a one-week period where having Fandral Staghelm on the board would allow you to cast Dark Wispers targeting yourself instead of a creature, which in addition to summoning 5 1/1 Wisps would also give your hero +5 max health, +5 attack (permanently, even on your opponent's turn, so you damaged any minions that hit your face), and Taunt (so enemy minions were forced to hit your face before hitting any of your minions, effectively making them untargetable). people argued over whether or not this was a glitch until Blizzard quietly patched it out

[terrifiedlimechime]

RELATIVITY FALLS!

basically: gravity falls but the stan twins are kids and mabel and dipper are the adults in the plot of gravity falls

as well as that, I wanted to switch the villians. Bill is human and takes the place of gideon, and instead of obsessing over mabel he pursues ford (he's twelve as well lol. BILLFORD FOREVER!!!)

whereas gideon takes the place of bill, a chaos god (maybe i'll make him the shape of the star on his telepathy tent instead of a triangle, or I might tweak his human design a bit, idrk) who's obsessed with mabel.

people always put dipper in the place of ford (in the portal) bc he's a nerd, but to suit the switch of villans, mabel is getting sucked into the multiverse!

I like to think she got lulled into a false sense of security with gideon like in the show in the same way ford was with bill, but with fashion instead of science. (like when their still friends w lil gid and gideon brings her to get her nails n stuff done)

so in my au mabel is very into fashion the same way ford is into science, a prodigy with a insane talent for knitting, sowing, design, the whole shabang

while dipper is similar to the usual show, nerdy sci-fi obsessed wise guy but nothing too crazy

but together mabel and dipper solved mysteries in california together and someday dream of becoming "the mystery twins" and searching (in parallel to the stans) on a hot air balloon/ plane/ something sky related

but mabel gets offered a place in a big league fashion school, and they're going to come and see her project for the school fashion fair

dipper (like stan) is disgruntled by the dress interrupting their dreams and future together (parallel to dipper and mabel vs to the show. kind of)  and puts his hands on the dress angrily without thinking, staining the dress with his sweaty palms (like how stan is in the show, and how ford described him in journal three: "an abnormally sweaty 12 year old....perhaps he takes after stanley")

when the fashion gurus or whatever show up to see mabels design, they see the prints and dimiss her, ruining her chance at getting into her dream school. seeing the sweaty hand marks, thinks immediately of her brother, confronts him, the same as the scene in a tale of two stans essentially

d: "i...mabel, maybe this isnt all bad...at least we can go...be the mystery twins?"

m: "how could you say that?! why would I want to do anything with the person who sabotaged my future!"

so where does mabel go to college? you (probably) guessed it...backupsmore!

she begins a degree...yadayada, smart people stuff, clever references to the original show, blah blah blah, goes to college with candy and grenda (they take the place of mcgucket)

annnnd now a scene I over thought way too much) all her life, mabel had been teased for her crooked teeth, her messy hair, her stickers and glitter everywhere...etc, and she grew fascinated with beauty in imperfection, the whole maximalism, out of the ordinary/norms of fashion (the ford deciding to study abnormalities bc of his six fingers scenece is so important to me for no reason)

she grew curious of a certain place where the impossible seemed possible...

gravity falls! (how surprising)

and what, my dear reader, was our main man dipper up to?

well, much like stan, he struck gold in sales. or...selling by yourself anyway, as he'd been trying to selling his scifi abnormality comics, board games, fact books/ something like that bro. he was smart-ish, giving lectures ab science-y stuff in different colleges, not happy at all and js about providing for himself. he misses mabel...alot.

over with mabel, she's experimenting with the weirdness of gravity falls, enjoying it all with her friend, gideon! (spoiler alert: he sucks)

but at the end of the day...what is she waiting for? she can't just...be good....she has to remembered! to be put down history as...one of the greatest designers of all time! heck...what is she even working for if not to be put down in history? what has she studied for? she has to round of her studies with a bang!

luckily gideon has a few ideas...

g: you see...what if...you built a portal to another dimension? has any designer ever done that before? sent their models and crew to another universe? think...how you'd go down...the most revolutionary name in fashion! you'd be leading fashion AND science!"

(tw: this is a trick on gideons part lol)

mabel enlists the help of candy and grenda, blablabla whatever...mcgucket/ford situation all over again, someone sees the nightmare realm, traumatised forever, yadayada, mabel goes insane bc gideon is "less than nice..." (can you tell I'm getting lazy lmao)

dipper is just ab scraping by, making money by doing lectures and the like, hopping state each time he loses a job with a new name so he can work for another prestigious college w out the track record and trying to publish his scifi silly novel thingy when he gets a post card through the door of his motel:

°•.GRAVITY FALLS.•°

please come, -mabel

dipper makes his way to gravity falls, where mabel is immediately suspicious of him, checking his eyes to see if he's possessed, barbed grappling hook ready to shoot and looking very much like a crazed scientist rather then a fashion designer, and perhaps that's what she's become, moulded under gideons hand

she interrogates him, similarly to how ford interrogated stan:

m: *grappling hook ready to shoot* "HEY! WHO ARE YOU? HAVE YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES?-"

d: "weird way to say welcome in, mabel"

hurring him in, she checks his eyes, lalalalala...mabel promptly shows him the third journal, branded with a shooting star.

m: "it's.. I don't know enough about science...me and candy, grenda, we started, i've put my heart and soul into these, dipper, but he needs them, and he can't have them, never...if he does..."

d: "god, mabel, I always knew you were crazy, but this is a whole new level. I thought you came here for fashion?"

blabla, backstory explanation to eachother (im this 🤏 close to giving up) when mabel pops the big question

m: "remember our plans...the mystery twins, adventuring in the skies, on a plane?"

dipper is really excited, this is the moment, all this science stuff, it was preparation for-

m: "get on a plane, fly as FAR away from here as possible, to the ends of the earth, and hide the journal-"

d: "wait...that's IT? I finally see you for the first time in YEARS and the first thing you want me to do is get as far away from you as possible?"

m: "listen-"

d: "no, YOU LISTEN. im excited to see my sister after a decade and you want me out of your sight? im just about scraping by while you're living it up in your fancy house in the woods doing fashion-glam shit! you think you've got it bad? i've got a MULLET, mabel! im trying my best to survive while you're all cushy in the woods-"

m: "you don't know what I've been through!-"

d: "what YOU'VE been through? I've lost my job in SEVERAL different states, while you're selfishly hoarding your college money-"

m: "ME? SELFISH? how could you say that after costing me my DREAM SCHOOL?

a bit more squabbling, basically the scene in a tale of two stans. in this au dipper isn't born with his big dipper mark on his forehead, rather he gets it burned onto his forehead the way stan gets his tattoo, mabel pauses, "im so sorry dipper-" gets pushed, the portal starts turning on, dipper pushes her away.

d: "tch, "mystery twins." how could I be so stupid? here's a simple mystery; why did mabel's brother travel four hours to roadkill oregon for her? because he thought his sister CARED for him. wanted to see him, even. possibly because he missed her. but dont worry, it wont happen again. some sister you turned out to be."

he does the whole push into the portal, ahhh mabel come back, oh no what have i done thingy. he immediately tries to opperate it, fails, blablabla. when he realises shes gone and not coming back, he screams, for a minute, half an hour, an hour, he doesn't know, he just cant do anything else.

doesn't sleep. for a long time. he doesn't really move off the couch, actually. he eats so he doesn't faint. or sleep. he doesn't go anywhere so he doesn't have to fix himself up or wash, because he feels he doesn't deserve the luxury of self care or nice food or comfort or rest. but eventually the food runs out and he decides he can't die without bringing back his sister.

at the shop, it's the same scene as with stan, "oooh smart science-y fashion person, do u give tours?" he has no money so he has to, it's shit at first but improves over time and so the mystery shack is born.

as much as dipper always loved the supernatural, he decides that he doesn't want another run in with the portal/ paranormal accident so all the attractions are fake. dipper is just as stressed and unhappy as before, but the tight clockwork of his life keeps him together. make money with the shack, save mabel. that's all that's keeping him here.

until the stan twins show up!

[babeyun]

easy, kitty ✩ s.jy [teaser]

✩ series m.list

✩ synopsis: after years of being referred to as a white whale by your respective detectives and being poorly sought after by single (and...not-so-single) suitors in your department, you're rescued by sim jaeyun - only for information in return.

✩ genre: fake dating au | unrequited love.

✩ pairing: detective!sjy x bookkeeper!reader

✩ word count: 1.1k | [full fic: tbd]

✩ rating: 18+. minors dni.

✩ warnings: none, just jaeyun shamelessly flirting and talk of shitty coworkers? some misogyny in the workplace?

✩ a/n: hello! i know this may seem a little confusing, but just trust the process. this is what would be the "present"...their juicy backstory will come in due time <3

monday, june 9th.

okay. 

you admit it.

you hate your job. you hate it! and that's okay, right? it's okay to absolutely despise walking into your job at eight in the morning with your steel tumbler filled to the brim with boiling hot tea. it's okay to hate the way you feel a sense of dread any time you hear footsteps nearing your little nook of an office. it's okay to dive under your desk the moment someone knocks on your door, and despite them opening it and seeing your tea still piping hot and your bag gently placed on the oak desk – they assume you're not in.

and you prefer it that way. you like hiding under your desk to eat your apple slices, and you even made friends with the cobweb spider in the corner of it. you like hiding your shoes and bag in a random cabinet drawer so they assume you're out sourcing materials. you love when your coworker, aeri uchinaga, swings by with invites to lunch so you won't have to speed to the cafeteria before any of the rookie detectives can bother you about sourcing information for them.

honestly, you weren't surprised to hear some of your fellow analysts call you the white whale of the department – you were the longest standing bookkeeper in the seventh precinct, and you knew the entire database by heart. you were rarely on board to help detectives solve their cases, often slipping just out of view and forcing them to ask around for help.

okay.

so maybe you don't actually hate your job. you hate the people in your department, except for your department director, hwang hyunjin, aeri and her boyfriend, yang jeongin. you hate the way that your coworkers relentlessly flirt with you, and they always manage to sour your mood the moment they compliment how pretty you look. luckily, once they realized you weren't interested in their little game of cat and mouse, they backed off.

until you showed up to the new year's eve party six months ago without a date, and shared a friendly hug with hyunjin, at midnight. it was enough to make the entire precinct wonder if you were single – and instead of focusing on their jobs, you could hear them whisper about you for the next two weeks. some of these people hadn't even known you were still working at the precinct, that's how uncommon it was to see you help anyone out – and how rare it was to see you at work events.

a lot assumed you thought you were too good to help them, that they weren't worth your time. they weren't entirely wrong – the rolling batches of detectives were more and more rude, and demanding in a way you didn't really like. so you made sure to seem as offstandish as possible, and no one got in your way. it was always a hard eight hours, but you always managed to leave the building without a single person speaking to you about sourcing anything for them. a skill, really. 

however, you were not as lucky this evening.

"y/n, baby." the flirtatious tone is subtle, but all-too-familiar. you groan inwardly, your back aching from being hunched over the stake of paper folders as you curse the precinct for not going digital. "what, jake?" you glance up through stands of stray hair, watching as he pouts playfully.

"no hello? how are you?" his smile doesn't dwindle as he leans his head on the doorframe, and you can feel the soft heat of his eyes on your face. sighing, you straighten your back, holding a stack of papers in your hands. you internally grimace as your lips immediately curve into a gentle smile at his own. "hello, jake. how are you?" "much better now that you're smiling." rolling your eyes, you beckon him forward with a nod of your head. he shuts the door behind him, taking a seat on the stool by your printer. your office had never been too homey, not in the last few years you'd been working here. you quickly learned to leave home at home and vice versa. "right, bro. what can i get for you?" "bro?!" he whines, dramatically clutching the left side of his chest as he kneels to the ground. "you wound me, babe. i've been struck, i'm seeing the light–" he flops on the floor, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out. you give him a quizzical look, before nudging his ribcage with your pointed heel. he suppresses a squeal before trying to discreetly push your foot away. "jaeyun, get up and tell me what you want before i kick you out." you sigh at his theatrics, making him groan from the floor. "you know, it wouldn't kill you to be nicer. i am doing you a huge favor by being this dramatic, after all." he says pointedly, still laying on the dirty floor when you scoff. "right, as if being impassioned isn't second nature to you." "hey, when you've got it, flaunt it, baby!" he lays on his side, propping his head up with his hand as you pretend to stab your pen into your chest and drag it down. he grimaces, before looking up at you with a smile. your eyes narrow at this, and his smile only grows wider as your phone buzzes on the desk. "who's that? your boyfriend?" you can feel your eyes threatening to get stuck if you roll them any more, and you pick up your phone as jake finally stands from the floor, dusting his clothing. "jake-" "oh wait, i'm your boyfriend! what a lucky guy!" he leans over to peer at your phone screen, seeing aeri texting you about the next company dinner. you would normally attend them alone, but since you roped jake into being your fake boyfriend (with good reason!)…you didn't have much of a choice. "where are we going now? do i get to hold your hand?" his eyes scan the screen, making you snort as you push him back lightly. "as if you need an excuse to hold my hand, you literally grab it any chance you get! you'd keel over if i let you kiss me." you don't notice the soft eyes raking your face, but you don't get a chance to as he retorts, leaning against your desk as you shove your phone in your pocket.

"easy, kitty. by the end of this, you'll be begging me to kiss you." 

no matter how long you're around jake, you will always ask yourself why you chose him out of all the men in this precinct. you ask yourself how he managed to be at the right place at the right time, saving you out of yet another of your coworker's cringe-worthy attempts to sweep you off your feet. you're grateful, of course – but somehow, you realized only a few moments in that he would be your demise. no more white whaling, it seems.

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

taglist [those in red could not be tagged!]: @thesassy-mia @starfallia @ramenoil @hoonieversies @wintabite @shnnzsworld @eneiyri @jjongsha @ilovejungwonandhaechan @oopshee @capri-cuntz @petalsofink @teddybeartaetae @chocminteu @moon0fthenight @delvziion @heeseungthel0ml @marimariiiiiiii @thenastone

[holmsister]

The labru chess meme but like serious: why Kabru bets on Laios and wins

If you're like me (mentally ill (I can say that I'm diagnosed) about labru) you have seen several variations on this meme:

With Kabru and Laios. (To see a small collection of them, please click on the "labru chess meme" tag on this post). Would you like me to hyperanalyse this aspect of their dynamic to death and not even in a shippy manner, therefore sucking all of the fun out of the meme? Keep reading!

Spoilers for the whole manga ahead. Contains also a quantity of Winged Lion.

First of all: as noted several times, it's not that Laios is eating the pieces to win at chess, it's that he's hungry, chess pieces are available, and he thinks Kabru is a fellow chess piece eater as well. Because he offered him a chess piece. And kabru ate it. While still trying to play chess because he thinks Laios is playing chess in some novel way he wants to understand better. If you think I'm beating this metaphor to death now you haven't seen anything yet.

The thing is. Kabru's whole thing is about finding someone who can defeat the dungeon, whatever shape that takes. And Kabru knows he cannot do it. He lacks what it takes, again, whatever exactly that is. And at some point, he makes the call that Laios has that something.

What's that something? Well. He's eating the chess pieces.

In another post I have already talked about the parallels between Kabru and the Winged Lion. Without going into it again: I think that all things aside, those two have very similar types of intelligence. They're fascinated by people and finding out what motivates them. They can be manipulative and even cruel in the quest for what they believe to be the "good ending". And they both think their end can be achieved through Laios.

See, *those two* are playing chess. Have you ever played? It's a very ancient and noble game, you know, very storied.

Two opponents, Black and White, take turns moving pieces on a checkerboard according to rules that depend on the piece itself (Towers move only horizontally but of as many squares as they please, Pawns only of one square at a time and only move towards the opposite side of the board, Bishops move only diagonally, etc etc). Players can only move one piece per turn, once per turn. Two pieces cannot be in one square. When a player moves a piece in a square that is already taken by a piece of the opposing colour, the piece that was there already is "captured" and removed from the board. The rules are actually much more complicated but this is the barest bones.

I hear sometimes the win condition in chess being described as "capturing the King". That's not entirely it. The win condition in chess is putting the opposing King piece in checkmate, that is, in a position in which the King will be captured by the opposing player by the next turn no matter what moves either of them makes.

Chess matches between masters are notorious for being impossibly long. Some last YEARS. Not only that, it's possible to draw in chess - when none of the pieces on the board have legal moves left but nobody is in check. This condition is called a stalemate.

Since the pieces can move in limited ways, mathematically, it's possible to calculate a most efficient way to move them. In 1997, the AI (real AI, not the stuff that passes for AI nowadays) Deep Blue beat then chess world champion Garry Kasparov for the first time in what is considered a milestone achievement.

It's a complicated game with very set rules and almost infinite yet calculable possibilities, is what I'm getting at. It's why it's a favourite mental exercise for mathematicians and people with similar minds. It's a problem to solve in a certain number of steps according to certain rules. There's a solidity in chess reasoning - even when you're trying to guess your opponent strategy, you still know there are things they are NOT going to do. Like eating the pieces. That's why the meme is funny. I think. I've lost sight of what normal people find funny years ago.

This is the game Kabru and the Winged Lion are both in. They are both positioned to move in checkmate (conquering the dungeon/escaping the dungeon), but they have both reached a point in which they cannot move further on their own power. They're in stalemate and they know it. They both need Laios to move them out of the stalemate.

The difference is what they choose to do.

The Winged Lion treats Laios as another check piece. An important one for sure (the Queen, even. That's a chess joke AND a gay joke). But a piece he can manipulate, that moves around in predictable ways.

Kabru, however, has spent enough time chewing on chess pieces to realise thats not where Laios' potential really lies. What he does is step aside and leave the board to Laios. He says "OK, dude. Eat the damn pieces if you must. I trust you know what you're doing."

You see. There's no rule in chess about eating the pieces. I think. Maybe they added one. But still. Most people when teaching someone to play chess would not think to add "and don't eat the pieces!" There at the end because they will assume that goes without saying. It's an unspoken rule that when you are playing a game involving pieces on a board, the pieces are not for eating.

Laios, our beloved autism knight, needs his rules spoken. Otherwise he's just gonna do whatever comes to mind. And that's what he has that Kabru lacks, and what leads him to outsmarting the Winged Lion. Because he does not think in terms of rules and limits. He does not try to guess what's the catch. He does not go after the King.

When Laios figures out what the primary motivation of the Winged Lion is (wanting to eat wishes), he does not wonder about his wider plan. He stops and thinks. That makes human wishes sound so tasty, he thinks, that a creature so powerful can give up on its life of perfect bliss and immortality on another dimension to taste them. I wonder if I could eat them too. I wonder if I could eat away the Lion's desire to eat desires - I could kill two birds with one stone!

He doesn't know or care what the aim of the game is according to the rules. *His* aim now is to eat the Winged Lion's desire. Because it would solve things, because he wants to know how it tastes like, who knows, who cares. The point is: what's the fastest way to get at his aim?

Well. The Lion promises to turn him into his ideal monster... the same one he wrote about in his book. Maybe he can add a line about the monster being able to eat desires. That would work, right?

It's such a stupidly simple plan that almost has no right to work. Neither Kabru nor the WL think about it. Because of a variety of reasons, but most importantly, because *that's not in the rules*. The rules are: Laios makes a wish, the WL realises that wish, in exchange he gets Laios' body. Laios' wish: to be turned into his ultimate monster that he wrote about in his book. It goes without saying that he can't just go ahead and add whatever to the book description. Right?

Kabru would not have thought to add a line in the book in a MILLION years. The WL does not think to check if Laios added any strange condition. It's like using one wish of the genie to wish for infinite wishes - I mean yeah nobody SAID you couldnt do that but it's obvious right? It's basically cheating... Who does that? ...what's this? Laios, what are you eating? Spit the King out!

Ps: in Italian, the word for "capture" on a chessboard and the word for "eating" are one and the same.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

(I usually ask anonymously because I'm shy asf but I wanted to ask non-anonymously because I don't think anons get notified when their ask gets answered.)

I feel like you know enough about Killer to tell me If this sounds solid or if it's dogwater. (Also to know if this idea had already existed or not sksksk). Please tell me if I made any mistakes, though! My brain is kinda fried lately and I had the strong urge to yap :'D

So I think it has been established that Killer's bones are constantly melting due to the high amounts of determination inside of him, and he'll eventually melt away and die. I think it is also mentioned somewhere that Color promises to find a way to 'fix' his soul?

I think the viable solution would be the Determination (DT) Extractor machine. In the Undertale game, in Alphys's True Lab we see the DT Extractor machine, it is used to extract DT from the human souls to be later injected into monster bodies. I wonder if we hypothetically can use this to solve Killer's perpetually melting problem? Has anyone thought of it?

(I do think there's some sort of like Sans fights animation where Killer is thrown to the DT Extractor in the middle of battle and he loses his DT. But my memory is fuzzy...)

Thank you, have a nice day (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

I suppose that’s an option they could try, especially since Color said he knows a guy and perhaps he meant his AU’s Gaster, but would it work, and would it work without killing him or grievously injuring him? Is killer willing to risk the possibility of being changed yet again.

Would it do anything to his code? That’s changed now too.

He’s arguably spent more time with DT as apart of his being than without it. Is it just a part of him now?

It invaded his soul like a parasite, perhaps it’d be hard to remove at all (almost like it doesn’t want to be removed) (stage 4 is described as pure Determination. perhaps in a way its also like rejecting 4.) and any intense pain and trapped feelings would provoke stage 3 into instinctively fighting back and trying to survive.

which is ironic, considering how 3 could remember the feeling of invasion and wants the invading parasite out.

Perhaps killer’s biggest struggle in trying to ‘fix’ himself is himself. And instead he should focus on trying to heal and recover.

I imagine it’d be a strange feeling. watching your body struggle and fight against something you wanted and willingly agreed to, as if it doesnt understand that this was going to (supposed to) help.

maybe they make or find a smaller syringe like version to slowly take out and remove small amounts in certain times of the day, if only to prevent more damage on his body and further slow down the melting and rotting.

I’d imagine this would not only bring up trauma around his soul and people touching it or injecting/extracting things in and from it; but may also bring up a whole lot of concerns about becoming weaker, unable to protect himself and worries about having to rely on someone else.

Not only do i still feel like 3-4 would cause rather violent resistance against the idea of extraction DT (one instinctual, the other because it means losing connections to chara/the player and failing the deal), and 2 wouldnt want it for the mentioned above.

1 likely would, even if it kills him and especially if it weakens him (he’s accepted death a long time ago, it’s the final rest for him, and losing DT just means freedom and less pain and less suffering for others and him he thinks), while 2 may bury his wants deep down and go along with it if it seems to make Color happy.

But of course, if Killer doesn’t seem fully on board and enthusiastic about it, Color’s not going to make him.

{ @dseval }

[goldensunset]

share ur theories abt khml pleaseeeee im dying over here

ok ok i’m thinking. i’m thinking ummmm

so as pointed out in this post it’s odd that master’s defender is on freya’s weird conspiracy board/wall. seems like she’s gathering and analyzing important things to try to figure something out, right? so what’s particularly and immediately relevant about the founder’s keyblade?

i’m feeling like master’s defender is either 1. missing (even stolen), like that post was talking about or 2. they know exactly where it is but there’s something weird going on with it lately. like is it really just a regular keyblade? surely not

basically i can easily see this item as being central to whatever the conflict of this game is about. it is The Missing Link™️. like it’s clearly culturally very important to the people of scala bc their founder wielded it and he’s been immortalized in a statue holding it, and we know its history (having come from brain, who got it from ava, who may or may not have gotten it from MoM bc of the insignia) is a plenty interesting one. so there’s a lot they can do with it here

we also know its future is clearly an interesting and relevant one because eraqus inherits it. we can be absolutely certain without a doubt it was a nepotism thing as opposed to merit bc it’s been pointed out that he’s a blueblood and also there’s no way that doofus earned it by his own right or whatever lol. so like… khml is surely gonna feature the themes of bloodlines and inheritance, right?

but it’s super interesting bc (presumably) eraqus’s ancestor is brain, right? i mean he could possibly have dual lineage and also be related to ephemer at this point but like i feel like what they’ve been going for all along is that it’s brain. but then you consider how if master’s defender is associated with ephemer then surely his (main) bloodline would be the ones inheriting this keyblade right? assuming they don’t like have it in a museum being treated like a relic or whatever. (also assuming the one ephemer’s statue is holding isn’t literally the keyblade itself baked in there but that’s a thought tangent for another time)

my point being. it seems odd that eraqus would end up with it. that his ancestors would have it. and therefore i’m thinking possibly part of the plot of the game is that brain takes it for himself or something. i mean like it was his first and ephemer himself was like ‘ok i’ll take it but in my mind it still belongs to you’. would it really be in character for brain to steal like that? dunno. but there are a multitude of ways it might go down

like maybe it’s a national treasure-esque situation where he steals it to prevent someone else from stealing it. like he’s just holding onto it for safekeeping and ends up keeping it. alternatively he takes it bc there’s something weird happening with it and he wants to solve the mystery. basically this is how ‘brain gets arrested�� becomes real

much to think about

[reotacchii]

・─ pairing : Sampo Koski x F!reader

・─ synopsis : Beyond the snow, a man were covered. A girl came to bring forth warm for the man in snow.

・─ genre : Oneshots, just- fluff ig(?), and the reader probably a bit clingy (im touch deprived)

・─ a/n : This man is just something.. He's so likable then at another point he were so cowardy. Then our first encounter with him ingame just gave me motivation with that exact plot, this is why I write a fics of him-

Under the seamless loop features the snows falling, you'll found a pile of snow. It's common for the snows to be stacked around, but not when those managed to look moving around and shaking even.

A bit of suspicion will come inside your head, you assuming there might be something under it. Much to your curiosity, you'll start a conversation with it — and ofcourse be alarmed if in anycase you might faces a random mob around.

Starting off by you knocked on the top of the pile and you let out your voice, "Hello? Someone in there?"

A reply soon come after, as the pile began to cracking up, a figure rising up and it'll soon revealing a man figure standing infront of you. The man would saw you infront of him, completely alerted that you are a stranger or perhaps a bypasser of his life at some point, but may as well a potential customer of his! New customer means new business partner, right? Who wouldn't take this chance anyway?

"I may likely to be embarrassed if I were found by a beauty on this state, eh-" he blurted out, showing his embarrassment by scratching the back of his head. You somehow find it goofy of this guy, which you'll reply to his previous saying with a chuckles. "You seem to be precious, then how about an introduction? I'm Sampo Koski. With me by your side, you've got a businessman, chaperon, and problem-solving conversationalist all in one! Care for a business with me, you..?"

"Oh! I'm Y/N, then it's good to meet you," you said with a smiles, it's rare to have an odd encounter this way, so you were amused and ofcourse you'll take this as a good sign, "And.. N-no.. I'm nothing of a rich, but putting the business matter aside, you seem really cold; and also shivering. I'll invite you as a guest to my house, follow me Sampo!". Without any further ado, you'll take one of his hand and invite you to his house.

Sampo wasn't expecting this from any strangers at all, but soon he'll go along with your doings and find your genuine kindness as a breathe of fresh air. If you were to know about him, he's a cunning guy full of trickery — making him the most hated guy on both Underworld and Overworld. Sampo get to used being treated not so highly, but when he's with you, he seems to be surprised by how caring you are.

There, how's your relationship with him began. Ever since the first encounter, Sampo would occasionally visited your house to warm himself or to eat your iconic soup (excluding the fact he think of your house as a safehouse from those Silvermane Guard). You'll always welcomed him, because to you, Sampo is very cheerful and you really love his bright energy that lit up the house. Your house never felt lonely ever since then and Sampo is very chatty that you can't get bored even at the slightest by his story.

A couple times of his visit, he would bring you some gifts. You are out of your finger to count of how much gifts he gave to you. Mostly are a silly thing such as card game, board game, or sometimes his handmade bomb (nothing dangerous definitely 💀), but there this day where you realize of your own feeling for him..

A usual knock on your house door would alarmed you to greet the person as soon as possible. It's easy to keep track of who's coming to your home because the barely visitors or guest on your house; so during this time, you'll soon know who's infront your door right now. Ofcourse none other than Sampo himself, the one you always await for and once you meet his gaze, you'll squeal in excitement followed by you goes straight to hug him.

The first time you were doing this would makes Sampo very unaware of himself, the lacks of physical contact he had in life only made him gets all embarrassed; especially the woman he grow a feelings with comes to doing it. Even till this day, he always let himself loose and defenseless just for you to hug him, he always find it very comforting when the warmth of your body comes to meet his.

"So.. What kind of gifts you bring todayyy? Star cards? Snowflakes charms? Or a storytells session!" you cooed happily, still not letting off from him.

"Hmm.. Always stay curious like the usual y/n do, eh? Waiting no longer, precious; the Sampo Koski comes up with a stash of war! However.." he said and slowing down his voice on the last exclamation, "You cannot open it yet — not before I leave this place first, bye Y/N!"

・─ extras : So like- when I mentioned a handmade bomb, I instantly thought that he would have a proud face when he about to gift it to you LOL. (YEAHH DRAWING CHIBI SAMPO JUST FOR YALL PRECIOUS READER 💕💕)

As you were blinked your eyes in one second, he disappeared. Like a ghost, he always disappear in any moment and mostly odd that he gone off very quickly than usual. He probably on a rush with his work today, you thought. You get to used it anyway.

So back to when you're inside and about to open the gift, you notice how well made the present are; judging from the outer appearance of the way he wrapped it, the little bow on top, similar to Christmas gift presents. You would say is the most good looking present ever, unlike the usual gifts you would get back then. The previous present from him are mostly straightforward and never been wrapped by anything, but this time he rather keep it.. Mysterious. As if you need to guess on something what might be inside, to keep you curious!

As soon as you opened it, it reveals a wooden box with a photo on top of it. A photo that appear with two person in it, you and Sampo — seems happy to be with eachother company. You wonder on who's taking this photo, isn't like both of you were captured in one picture? But then, you realize that the active pink-haired girl name March 7th is most likely to took that picture and give it to Sampo.

Next will be the wooden box that once you open it, it'll popping up a tiny dancer spinning in circle as a chirpy soft tunes began to playing. It's a musical box.

Listening to the musical box as you staring on the picture at the same time somehow made your heart feel so warm and fuzzy. You'll never realize how huge your smile is or how bright you can be, not until this picture. You also began to take a hint of Sampo appearance, he really are.. Attractive. His rather worried-like eyebrow and his deep emerald eyes gives off such a charm. The way his smiles formed, it always make you feel happy whenever you're looking at it.

You fell for him.

The next day, he'll visit you again. But this time, upon your realization of your own feelings, you dont want him to know about it. If he doesn't feel the same way, it might ruins your relationship with him and the most hurt part is that you'll be lonely again. You dont want to lose him..

But this exact reason also make you to distance yourself a bit from him. Sampo also began to realize how less of clingy you are, you seem to be down lately too.

"Y/n.. You know I care a lot about you, you are my precious friend and I will be here to listen to your problem. Is there anything that bother you?" Sampo began to broke off the silence.

"I-I.. Nothing, you don't need to worry about me! I'm perfectly fine, see?" you exclaimed as you chuckles, completely forced a tiny laugh.

Sampo took an initiative, he'll proceed to hold both of your hand; noticing the size differences of your hand with his make your heart beating so fast. Why would everything he does make your heart always beat so fast?! "Listen to me, I care a lot about you and.. How do I say this but, I don't want to lose you.. You're the only one who understands me" the way he formed his helpless look, you cannot help but to soften at him.

His hands are so warm, you really wish thing could stay longer. Maybe this is the right time to confess.. But in truth, nothing called a right time without an action, you must do it now!

"Sampo, I cannot think both of us as friends anymore," you exclaimed with a serious look on your face.

Somehow, those words feel like a stung to his heart, it crack his heart a bit.. As if he feel like about to cry, but he can't. He's way too surprised and speechless to say anything.

"I-I.. I really really like you — no, I love you!" you said quickly then proceed to hide your face in embarrassment. There, you finally confess in the most straightforward yet barely romantic at all (like how rizz-less the author is). "I'm sorry, if you dont feel the same way, you can tell-"

A hand would pull both of your hands away from your face, you can't even stare at his face anymore but he would raise your chin to looking up at him. Sampo took the opportunity to give you a quick yet very sweet kiss on your lip. "Y/n.. I, Sampo Koski, also declared that I fell for you so hard ever since the day I laid my eyes on you, I love you and i'm truly happy you feel the same way as I did"

You teared up a bit, you are more than happy to have him as the love of your life. As you both exchanging hugs and a couple of pat on the head, both of you would giggling and smiling like an idiot. Followed with you says,

"You always full tons of surprises"

[elliemarchetti]

Double Wedding

I don't know if I nailed today's prompt for @jilymicrofics, but the idea of ​​James and Sirius being married was too funny not to delve into.

Prompt: Astounded

Words: 489

Lily was astounded. Perhaps shocked would’ve been the right term, although, knowing the characters she should’ve expected it. Marlene, however, was furious.

“Remind me why I shouldn’t kill one of you and solve the problem,” she hissed, a suspicious, and frankly slightly concerning, coldness in her voice.

“Because you would be sad about it if you did?” suggested Sirius, immediately retreating when his girlfriend glared at him.

Lily didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In itself, the situation would’ve been extremely comical, if only James and Sirius hadn’t forgotten to tell them, and the small omission, as they defined it, wasn’t messing with Marlene’s vision.

Their fiancees were already married to each other. A foolish decision, took when they were fresh out of Hogwarts, during a drunk night out with Remus and Peter, who acted as their witnesses, which was now having considerable consequences on the organization of two real weddings.

“Look at it this way,” James ventured, turning to Marlene, “you could traumatize so many old ladies by introducing yourself as Sirius’s lover for the rest of your lives.”

The blonde girl seemed to ponder the possibility, but ultimately decided it was far better to be the new, and only, Mrs. Black.

“I want Walburga to turn in her grave at the thought of what I’ll do to the good name of her noble and most ancient house,” she ruled.

“That’s why I love you,” murmured Sirius, and in the blink of an eye they were reconciled, and were making out like teenagers. Sometimes, Lily was convinced their brains were still stuck at seventeen, trapped in bodies that were inevitably destined to grow old, but she felt no resentment for their ways, considering what they had been through to get there.

“And you?” James queried, sliding one of his long arms around Lily’s shoulders to pull her closer. “What do you want?”

Lily raised her head to meet his deep brown eyes, to study every detail of his features, and how his dark, always dishevelled hair fell on his forehead. She wanted to see him struggle with his glasses every morning, and be there when his first white hair made its appearance in the beard he was desperately trying to grow in an attempt to look older. She wanted a house all for them, a welcoming place, where they could invite friends for dinner and board games night, where they could mature as a couple and start a family…

“What are you thinking about?” he inquired, his face now decidedly closer, so much so that their noses were almost touching.

“What happens once we say I do,” she admitted, the hint of a smile she didn’t want to contain making its way to her lips.

“Second thoughts?” he asked, vaguely horrified.

Lily shook her head. She couldn’t imagine her life without James anymore, no matter how much the bullshit from his youth would haunt them in adulthood.

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

sorry if you’ve done anything similar to this, but what about HCs for getting wine drunk with the papas? could be spicy or silly! ty ty ilysm!

I need a little silly in my life, so I did some wine drunk shenanigans! Hope you enjoy! <3

Minor Tag Warning for Alcohol and Drunkeness

Reader Getting Wine Drunk with the Papas!! (Ambiguous relationship)

Papa Nihil: Nihil isn't a big wine drinker, but he won't say no to wine with dinner or a good movie. The easiest way to get him to want a wine is watching a movie while you eat some good old authentic italian pasta. Nihil claims he can't eat pasta without it! It's always a red wine and an older horror movie. You can't beat the classics! But you have a good time every time you get wine drunk. The wine turns you both in Mystery Science Theatre, and you do nothing but laugh and comment on any and everything about the movie! Sometimes the wine makes you do something crazy, like try to play a board game! But the night always ends the same. All the food and drinks gone and you both just chatting until you fall asleep. It's always safe and cozy, even when you wake up hung over. Though the wine is always blamed for when suddenly Nihil is getting billed for several new movie streaming services he can't remember signing up for.

Papa I: Neither of you were TRYING to become drunk. It started innocently enough! There had been too many complaints about the Unholy Communion wines tasting awful. The Siblings of Sin were not shy in requesting something more decadent and easier to stomach. You and Papa, on your insistence, decided to find something to start using Clergy wide. In your mind it was a fun time to try all the fancy drinks with your favorite person! Papa was more happy to indulge you and just wanted to solve this as quickly as possible. But you are a bad influence. Convincing him it was a waste to do a traditional wine tasting! So after many glasses neither of you found the perfect communion wine... instead you found yourselves laughing on his couch. Trying to have unserious philosophical discussions through slurred speech. Papa admits it's the type of fun he needs outside of his brooding and serious ministry duties. Imagine your surprise when he invites you over again. This time to share a bottle just for you two!

Papa II: You were never a big wine drinker until you became close to the second Emeritus. Papa has the most well stocked wine cellar you have ever seen! Many people forget that under his classy and collected exterior is a man who loves to party! Or at least unwind and let go. So every once in a while he will ask you to pick something for dinner, or if you just want to sit and drink with him. Most of the time it's in his music room where you put in vinyls and just sink into the expensive sofa. You find he's much more talkative when properly drunk, and more willing to have fun. There have been many times Papa has decided that being drunk is the perfect time to teach you how to dance! You've fallen a few times, but both of you always laugh it off and go back to finding a good song to listen to! You always enjoy the looser side of Papa! The man who drunkingly explains the rise and fall of the Beatles in the music industry. Or he enjoys the way you cried once because you found your favorite song on one of his albums, and insisted he put it on repeat.

Papa III: Now THIS is when you both get the best gossiping time! It's actually a biweekly ritual you two share when you both have the time! Wine bottles out, the charcuterie boards full, and both of you ready to blow off steam! Life is so stressful, so why not find time to have a good wine with the best company? It always starts the same. One of you raging about the current annoyance in your life, and the other popping open a cork and pouring your glasses full. It usually starts with both of you venting, to both of you chatting, to both of you laughing your asses off about nothing. Sometimes you get drunken ideas, like rearranging the furniture that neither of you can move! Other times you decide you need a late night take out run (DRIVEN BY A GHOUL OF COURSE) and come back with bags full of fast food. This last time you both woke up to Papa's closet sloppily 'organized'. the only clue being a Marie Kondo video on your phone, and all of his socks in a basket. It's always in good fun!

Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: When it comes to wine, you and Copia always promise yourselves 'one glass'. But sometimes, you just need a whole bottle or two. You both agreed it's not that you NEED wine to unwind; but it's nice to indulge once in a while. So the times you do get drunk off of wine, it's planned and thought out. Copia will select the best bottles he can for the night, and you get the best dinner or snacks to pair with it. You always do a quick glass cheers to each other and have at it! Like with Terzo, sometimes you just need to gossip or vent. Other times it's to unwind and NOT think about the day. Others it's to celebrate and find something fun to do! You've both woken up from your two person party wearing expensive lamp shades! This is one of the few times you both get into mischief together! Terrorizing the gardens at night, or finding your way into Copia's office to fuck around with his paper work. Anything to keep you two occupied! Your favorite time so far had been turning his office into a miniature club with strobe lights and his lava lamp collection. You were both pretty bewildered when you saw the mess you made the next day!

[berrypass-de-murdler]

2 - 68 The Chess Commune Killing

I'm not gonna lie, things have been pretty bad recently, and this episode kind of served as a coping mechanism.

I forgot to post him yesterday, but I got a new character out

God this drawing makes me upset it looks exactly like the cringe bird OCs I spammed when I was younger

Cardinal Cinereous is six inches tall, making him by far the smallest character. He poses as Father Mango's pet bird, but is actually a fully sentient mastermind of his own, easily able to steal money for the church without being noticed. While he usually has his feral disguise, he's actually an anthro bird with dwarfism.

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

The train took him to a commune, similar to the one on the mainland. With one crucial difference - instead of killing people over religion, this one kills people over… you guessed it, chess. And this makes Irratino excited. There are few things Logico loves more than chess, so it must be fate he was brought here.

The leader is dead of course - Irratino can tell just by looking at him that he was Russian. The inevitable Grandmaster Rose is nearby, playing a match against Taupe. Meanwhile, Brother Brownstone is deep in prayer to the board, and Aureolin is just… lurking.

IRRATINO: Aureolin, what are you doing here? AUREOLIN: Why is that any of your business? IRRATINO: It’s not, I just… happen to see you at a lot of chess-related places recently.

Auree loudly rolls her eyes. She kneels down to pray with Brownstone.

BROWNSTONE: The greatest piece in the game is the queen.  AUREOLIN: How can you tell? BROWNSTONE: The Chessbook told me. The Chessbook knows all.

And the other two…

ROSE: Why won’t you make a move? Are you afraid of my genius? TAUPE: [shuffles]

It explains its next move in morse code, and Rose has to do it for it. One move later, the person with arms won. Taupe is quite sad.

Irratino isn’t paying attention to any of this, because he needs to solve this murder as soon as possible to get to Logico. He notices something curious - the journals of all the cult’s members were confiscated. And it’s a horrible thing to do for sure, but he has to look. For clues. Not for any other reason.

He checks Brownstone’s first. Complete mumbo-jumbo about the chess gods, as one would expect. Grandmaster Rose…

“I played such a good match, no one would have ever guessed! Here’s how it went.”

It’s a bunch of numbers and letters, and Irratino doesn’t understand in the slightest. More useless info. Taupe… has a journal, but it’s just an empty smashed book. So only Aureolin’s could provide an answer.

“My favourite chess piece is the tricky knight. I find it honourable, someone who is so underwhelming as a presence but then bam - destroying everyone else in their own way… 

I can’t believe I went straight from champion to this, I don’t have anywhere else to go, and they promised they had a burrow for me… I pray to god they can’t take my kids, or do anything to my kids. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be here anymore…”

Irratino has a flashback of the murder. He envisions the innocent rabbit going insane, strangling the cult leader… and when he snaps out of it, she’s staring right at him.

AUREOLIN: He was going to kick us out! So I had to kill him… IRRATINO: Why was he going to kick you out? AUREOLIN: Because I was going to kill him. I’m so sick of this! I’m so SICK OF BEING EXPLOITED! IRRATINO: A…A- AUREOLIN: OHH, ARE YOU GOING TO BRING UP MY ‘PERFECT RECORD’ THAT LOGICO WANTED ME SO BADLY TO KEEP? LOGICO ISN’T HERE ANYMORE! Maybe when you’re treated like SHIT by EVERY PERSON YOU MEET, YOU DON’T GET A PERFECT RECORD!

She slips and falls to the ground. Her breath is shaking, and tears are falling. Irratino gently kneels in front of her and reaches out his hands. Auree collapses into him, sobbing. 

AUREOLIN: …you’re going to get him out, right? IRRATINO: It doesn’t matter what I have to do, I will.

Taupe and Rose are suddenly standing over them. They want a hug too!

Irratino is more determined than ever to find his baby and bring him back, not just for him, but for everyone.

The end!

I'm not projecting I'm not projecting I'm not-

heeeEEEEEYYY a squishy eminence!!

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[sburbian-sage]

so i was gonna send this in last night but i decided to wait so i could proof read it and what not and now here i am basically re writing it

so first things first im gonna need you to have an open mind please, everything im about to say is gonna sound like bullshit, utter complete fucking bullshit and even if you dont believe me its still true because sburbs bullshittery seemingly knows no fucking bounds

there is currently a fucking massive void vessel above the session, like it vanishes into the ring on both sides and im sure it keeps going, brilliant white with leaf green highlights

was gathering some grist and it just fucking teleported it or some shit cause one second it wasn't there and then it was and it scared the fuck out of me

i spoke with the plant chick last night and while i learned some things it clearly wasn't enough because what the fuck is this?!

im hiding out of derse now and its just empty, there's no more of the little Carapacians, the 5 of our lands are also gone and i can see smaller ships going around frantically scanning local space so i assume they know i happened to get off land before it was taken (how do you take an entire land?!?!)

but before i get murderharvested or some shit here's what i was able to figure out

i managed to nab one of her computers and found that their language is seemingly similar to old alternian standard but it doesn't match to English at all and is more flowy? than jagged, as well as the letters seemingly having 2-5 characters stacked on one another, far beyond my translation capabilities

when i asked the difference between sessions she just said that there was less bees (what???)

didn't have enough time to see any structural changes from normal, other than more plants and things being kinda taller

when i asked culture questions she just laughed, called me a "curious cutie" (not sure i like how i feel about that) and said id learn soon which like FUCK ME was that a red flag apparently

not sure what to do anymore, im a rogue of void for fucks sake and even turning into nothing isn't enough to shake them, they find me within an hour and i have to flee, managed to pull off that teleportation trick that the other poster talked about but even that doesn't shake them, sending this out and then ill start moving again

ill keep in touch if i stay alive

I WAS JOKING. I WAS MAKING A JOKE WHEN I SUGGESTED SHE WAS TRYING TO CONTACT HOME BASE TO BOMB YOU GUYS TO OBLIVION AND DO GIGA-SPACE-COLONIALISM. I WASN'T MAKING A PREDICTION. FUCK.

And you are right, this does kinda sound like bullshit. There's mild precedent here, in that it is technically theoretically possible that before Entry happens and SBURB fucks an entire planet in half, that some of said homeworld's inhabitants might have boarded a ship, went into space, and managed to enter the Furthest Ring. I mean, that would require incredible foresight, highly advanced technology, surviving long enough despite the fact that the game is literally designed to kill non-players in the most ass-pull deus ex machina fashion possible, and that it is virtually impossible to enter the Furthest Ring without a Bargain. So it's a bit like sending Frosty the Snowman to the Sahara Desert to win a gladiator competition, and once he wins he has to do round two against a flamethrower squadron. Which is to say, I'll eat my own legs before I believe that you're being invaded by The Imperium of Man meets the fucking Vegandon from Johnny Test. Among the thousands of other severe questions this raises.

But on the off-chance that this isn't just a prank, here's my equally low-effort advice.

Running may not be able to solve your problems. You are a Rogue of Void who can teleport. This makes you THE most qualified person to break into their ship and sabotage the engines so shit explodes.

Running may be able to solve your problems. If you survive long enough, SBURB might suddenly remember that it's supposed to kill non-SBURB non-player entities, and so the flowery ground troopers might start tripping and shooting themselves in the fall, or the ship explodes anyway.

Threaten to Scratch the Session to get them to back off. It's basically the mother of all "I'm taking you all with me" threats, considering it will rewrite reality.

Actually, they might not know enough about the Scratch for that to intimidate them. Scratch anyway. Fuck these guys, they'll never suspect it and an alt-universe version of you gets the last laugh.

If they corner you, start coughing on them. If you win re-enacting the ending of War of the Worlds, that would be incredibly funny.

[katy-133]

Feedback for the Noiramore Academy Demo

(Played: Oct 11th 2024.)

I wanted to give feedback and my thoughts on the demo for Noiramore Academy.

Housekeeping and context: I'm a video game developer with 9 years of experience in mainly visual novels and narrative-heavy games. I'll write out my notes in bullet points, going from narrative-related thoughts, to more technical thoughts at the bottom.

Opening cutscene: The long opening before starting the demo was risky (the rule of thumb is to drop the player into the game as quickly as possible), but I think it worked here because it gives you enough needed information in the beginning without overexplaining (we learn who the main character is, that she's a known delinquent, and that she's curious and resourceful, in an boarding school-style academy).

(Image: Kickstarter trailer)

Premise: This looks and feels like a game that uses the "boarding school mystery" format I read a lot of as a kid, mixed with the "wizard school" genre (The Terror of St Trinian's, Worst Witch, and Golden and Gray spring to mind). Detective games are my jam, so I was happily surprised to be recommended the trailer to this game on YouTube.

Lore: I like that the lore regarding the war was given an infodump scene using shadow puppets. Infodumps run the risk of being too overwhelming or taking up too much screen time over play time, but I understood what was going on. And then more details of lore would be breadcrumed around the room as I explored it (which I like in fiction in general since I get to piece things together slowly).

(Image: Kickstarter trailer)

Starting puzzle: It's a good starting puzzle that's just tricky enough to get your brain going and makes you feel smart for solving it. The "how many windows" part was the more confusing of the puzzle, as I wasn't sure if I was meant to include the stain glass windows along the other wall, and if so, whether they counted as 3 or 6 windows.

Animation: The animation for the characters feels bespoke; I was happily impressed by how much personality and detail was put into conversations between different characters. Judith's animation is different from Gina's animation, as so on.

(Gif: Steam page)

Inventory screen: I love the transition the the inventory screen (moving the camera to face Judith), it's so stylish!

(Image: Kickstarter trailer)

Voice acting: I really liked the voice acting quality. The actors sounded like their characters, the acting was very good and has personality, and the audio was good on a technical level as well (volume levels for the characters felt the same, like they were all recorded in the same place, there wasn't background noise polluting the audio, and there were no audio peaking issues when characters spoke louder). A very good job!

Camera motion blur: I urge you to add the option for players to turn this off as soon as possible. If you plan on including motion blur for turning the camera at all, I recommend having it off by default, instead of players starting the game with it on. Some players find camera blur nauseous to look at, while others find it distracts from the graphics (as you are obscuring the view of the background by blurring it).

Controls: The controls for the sewing and war map puzzles for some reason are odd. The mouse sensitivity becomes very very high, making the cursor incredibly difficult to control. It got to the point where I couldn't progress past the war map puzzle of the demo because trying to place the pieces on just the right squares felt impossible. For both the sewing and war map puzzles, I also tried using just the keyboard to nudge the cursor to the right spot, but even then, these nudges would move too far in the direction I pressed. The page number puzzle was easier to control, but a clearer option to input the number by typing it in a text parser would be more convenient than clicking and dragging to the right number. Control is very important to the overall gamefeel, as it helps the player feel like they are in the world of the game the more in-sync their button presses are to what is happening on-screen.

(Image: Kickstarter trailer)

Textbox: The textbox design is very good in my opinion. It follows many of the design principles of visual novels. The textbox is semi-transparent not solid (so it doesn't obscure screen space of the background), the text uses a readable font typeface, the text is light over a dark background (for dark mode style reading), and text appears instantly instead of being typed out (instant is good for fast readers). To take it further, I would suggest adding Dyslexic-friendly font options in the Options menu (such as the typeface OpenDyslexic).

(Image: Kickstarter trailer)

Main menu input: This is a nitpick, but the Press Any Key to Start screen will only transition to the menu if the player presses Enter or Space.

Audio cutoff issue: I noticed that once in a while, the audio for a line of dialogue would get cut off before it reached the second-half of the line and continue with the next bit of dialogue (two lines with Gina and one line with Deacon).

Object Clipping issue: I noticed in conversations with Deacon that his left arm would clip through his notebook as he gestured. It was noticeable because he was talking about his paper, and the camera has the notebook in the centre of the shot, so the eye is drawn to it.

Wall Collision Bug: The wall with the chalkboards in the starting room doesn't appear to have collision. I walked through it into the Unity stage:

Overall, I'm very excited to see the final version of the game's release!

[partystoragechest]

A story of romance, drama, and politics which neither Trevelyan nor Cullen wish to be in.

Canon divergent fic in which Josephine solves the matter of post-Wicked Hearts attention by inviting four noblewomen to compete for Cullen's affections. In this chapter, Trevelyan finds the Commander playing chess.

(Masterpost. Beginning. Previous entry. Next entry. Words: 2,640. Rating: all audiences, except for swears.)

Chapter 14: Checkmate

The one downside to mage freedom Trevelyan had found was that mages, without some Templar or Senior Enchanter breathing down their necks, were terrible at returning books.

For the third time these past days, she had to journey to the mage tower to collect a tome that was, once again, missing from the library.

(And whilst there, she found two more that had gone missing, too.)

Books in hand, plus a few materials she required, Trevelyan set off from the tower, to return to the Undercroft. Fastest way was through her stargazing spot, to the garden below.

She skipped down the stairs, grateful her route was a pleasant one—the sun was gleaming, the plants were blooming, Dorian and the Commander were playing chess nearby...

Wait, Dorian and—?

Under the shade of the arcade, at a small table, sat Dorian and the Commander. Between them, a chess set, with its pieces at play. Trevelyan blinked a few times. So the Commander had little time to see the Ladies… but chess was a priority?

She intended to simply make this observation and be on her way again. But as she passed by, she heard Dorian call out:

“Lady Trevelyan!”

Trevelyan swerved, and headed for the table. “Dorian,” she greeted. Her eyes flicked to the other player. “Commander.”

The Commander, in lieu of a bow, gave a low nod. “Your Ladyship. Are you—?”

“Stalling, Commander?” Dorian interrupted, with a tilt of the head.

The Commander returned his attention to their game, and moved a piece. Firmly. “Satisfied?”

“Quite.”

Interested, Trevelyan crept to Dorian’s side, and peered at the board from over his shoulder. She didn’t quite know why Dorian was being so brash, when it was clear from what she could see, that he was losing.

As if sensing her judgement, he leant back to ask, “How am I doing?”

Trevelyan bent to his ear, and whispered, “Why are you asking me?”

“Well, I don’t know how to play, do I? All right, I do, but I don’t care to try.”

“Evidently,” the Commander commented. Trevelyan stifled a laugh.

“You see how he taunts me?” Dorian said. “Do you know how to play?”

Trevelyan wondered why he was bothering to ask, but soon realised he’d gone to an Imperium Circle, and not hers. The three great entertainments of Ostwick were Wicked Grace, chess, and trying to guess if Knight-Captain Poller’s hair was real.

“I do,” she told him.

“Then help me.”

Trevelyan chuckled. “I believe that consitutes cheating, doesn’t it?”

Before Dorian could answer, the Commander did for him: “Go ahead.”

She glanced at him, as he leant back in his chair, one arm slung over the side. He said, with a grin and a growl, “I’ll still win.”

So it seemed his softer side was not the only one the Commander had been concealing. For here he was now, full of an astonishing bravado. Maker, if he truly did not favour the other Ladies, then he ought not do this in front of them. Even Trevelyan could admit a flutter at the sight. They might… swoon.

“Um… well, yes,” Trevelyan sputtered, remembering herself, “all right, then.”

“Excellent!” Dorian clapped his hands together. “Tell me what to do so I don’t have to think.”

Maker. Trevelyan hadn’t played in so long, she would hardly be any better. And, in all honesty, the Commander’s arrogance had thrown her. If he truly was as good as he claimed, then she had no hope of winning.

But a request was a request.

She took in the board, the positions of emperor and empress, of Knights-Templar and chanters. Hm. Possibly something; but it would only delay defeat. Perhaps, though, that would be long enough for the Commander to misstep, and offer another route to victory.

“Move your Knight-Templar to where his castle is,” she whispered. “Not there—the lefthand space.”

Dorian did as told. The Commander quickly took the piece.

“Are you trying to sabotage me?” Dorian questioned.

Trevelyan shook her head. “He’s left his empress open. Move your chanter into position.”

“Like so?”

“Yes.”

Dorian followed her orders as before. A better result this time: the Commander paused for a moment, and drew his castle back to a defensive position. Exactly as she’d hoped.

Trevelyan instructed Dorian to bring his own empress forward. Should they keep this pressure, they could force an error.

No doubt the Commander had noticed such an attempt. He contemplated his next move for some time, eyes flitting around the board. If she had to guess, Trevelyan would say he was attempting to predict her strategy. At least he was entertained.

She, however, was bored.

“Aren’t you supposed to be a busy man, Commander?” she teased. “This does not seem like the urgency of someone who has other places to be.”

He glanced up from his study, a confident smile lingering on his face. “Are you trying to put me off, Lady Trevelyan?”

“Do you find me so off-putting?”

His bravado dropped in an instant. “No, no, I mean—you are... distracting.”

Trevelyan could not help but raise an eyebrow. “Distracting?” She laughed. “I believe you have proven quite capable of ignoring me this entire past week, Commander.”

“A mistake I am attempting to rectify.”

She smiled at the joke, but one look at his face told her it was not one. For he remained straight-lipped, and focused on his game. No, he was quite serious.

Oh.

Dorian’s eyes flicked between them, and he cleared his throat. “Are you ever going to move, Commander?”

The Commander’s grin returned. “Be careful what you wish for.”

With confidence, he moved his chanter. Trevelyan had rather hoped he wouldn’t do that. Aligned with Dorian’s emperor, he announced, “Check.”

Dorian leant back to Trevelyan. “And what do we do now?”

She had already run through every possibility in her mind. There was only one option left:

“Surrender.”

“Oh, well then.” Dorian flicked his emperor onto its back. “You win, Commander. Again.”

The Commander stretched in his chair, clearly finding plenty of revelry even in his repeated triumph. “As expected. Though I appreciate you putting in effort this time, Dorian.”

“How dare you accuse me of such a thing.” Dorian pushed his seat from beneath the chess table, and stood. “Anyway, contrary to popular belief, I have things to be doing. Turrah.”

One lax wave, and he was gone, off towards the Great Hall. Trevelyan quite wondered—out of a scientific curiosity—what those things he might be doing were.

“I should get back to work as well,” said the Commander, drawing her attention. He gestured to the board: “Unless you would care for a game?”

“Oh, my apologies”—Trevelyan indicated her stack of books—“I have to be at the Undercroft.”

The Commander got to his feet. “I can walk you there.”

“Oh, not if it’s trouble.”

“My office is the same way.”

True enough. She nodded, and said: “Very well, then.”

And so they began to walk across the garden together. Good afternoon for it, too, with the sun’s sinking rays glinting off the ripe, red berries that adorned the surrounding bushes, and the gentle wind rippling through the bright, leafy trees.

“Do you play chess often?” Trevelyan asked, as they meandered over the stepping-stone path.

“When I have a spare moment,” the Commander admitted, “and so does one of the few people willing to play me.”

Trevelyan smiled, and said sarcastically, “I wonder from where their reluctance stems.”

The Commander took it in good humour. “They endure me, I know. But, if we are to be entirely fair… Dorian usually cheats. He earns his losses.”

“Though which came first—the losses, or the cheating?”

The Commander chuckled. “If you have to ask, you haven’t spent enough time with him.”

Clearly not, though Trevelyan could well believe of Dorian that he would be the sort to cheat. Not for any sense of dishonesty—no, she thought him rather an honest man. More like he seemed the sort to enjoy an intellectual challenge, but one of a higher calibre than a table game. Such triviality must bore a mind that sharp.

“May I ask, how are your legs?” the Commander said, as they reached the other side of the garden.

Trevelyan was quite perturbed by the question—until she remembered her aches the day prior. “Better, thank you,” she told him, and added: “That reminds me, regarding our conversation yesterday: you will be pleased to know that all fires in the Undercroft are being kept on ground level.”

The Commander laughed, and Maker, it was strange. They had jokes shared between them. Secret combinations of words only the other knew how to decipher. Trevelyan would never have believed this of him, nor her, had she been told such a thing a week ago. What was happening?

A pertinent question. Likely the same question had by Lady Erridge, who emerged from the door to the Great Hall, and came immediately face-to-face with Lady Trevelyan and the Commander. Walking together. Laughing.

“Lady Erridge!” Trevelyan said, failing not to sound surprised. “How good to see you.”

“Lady Trevelyan, Commander,” the Lady greeted, eyes wide like a deer’s. “You, oh… I was going to the garden. To sit in the sun!”

“How lovely,” said Trevelyan. “I am on my way to the Undercroft.”

“Oh.” Erridge looked to the Commander, but he said nothing. “Well, lovely. Good luck with your work. I will see you at dinner.”

Trevelyan nodded, and awkwardly shuffled past. Shit, fuck, shit. An inexplicable pang of guilt seeded and grew in her stomach. Shit.

From the safety of the Great Hall, she glanced back. She knew she ought not to, but she had to make sure Erridge was not still looking.

Erridge was still looking. She stared at them from just past the door frame, as if in some kind of trance. Trevelyan was ever so glad that the door swung shut.

“We should part here,” she said, turning to the Commander. He stopped, somehow bewildered.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! Your office is that way, and I can certainly find my own way to the Undercroft by now, thank you.”

“Oh.” He bowed. “Another time, then.”

“Yes, yes.” Maker, quickly. Before another Lady came trotting out of some door.

Yet he stepped away so bloody slowly, and even looked back to wave at her as he passed through to the rotunda. Trevelyan sighed, and hurried off towards the Undercroft.

“I am not looking forward to hearing of this later,” she told herself.

***

Lady Erridge stared at Trevelyan all through dinner.

Even as the Baroness spoke of Orlesian scandal, even as Lady Samient talked about her home. Lady Erridge stared at Trevelyan. Through potatoes and pies and an entire bowl of soup, Lady Erridge stared at Trevelyan.

It was getting really rather difficult to ignore.

But relief finally came when Baroness Touledy—at last—asked, “Is something the matter, Lady Erridge?”

The question snapped her Ladyship round, her ceaseless gaze finally abated. She stammered to the Baroness, “Oh, no, no! All is well!”

Terrible lie. “Are you certain?”

Both Touledy and Samient had downed their cutlery, and fixed Lady Erridge with an incredulous stare. Unsurprisingly, she broke immediately:

“Oh, it’s silly, really! It’s simply—well, I saw Lady Trevelyan and the Commander walking together today, and I had wondered what… what it was.”

Their stares turned on Trevelyan; she did her best to remain calm. “We had crossed paths, and were walking the same way,” she admitted. “That’s all.”

“Oh,” Lady Erridge murmured. “I see. Good. Because, well, I had thought perhaps you were having a walk outside of your allotted time. Especially as the Commander seemed... ever so jolly to be with you.”

What an accusation! It was not phrased as one, but even an innocent like Lady Erridge knew enough of court to know how to imply an injustice without speaking its name.

And Trevelyan could not quite believe it—not simply for the person from which it came, but for the content. Whether he had been ‘jolly’ or not, her disinterest in the Commander was a well-known fact.

But she knew the query was likely come from of a place of insecurity; and so in her reply, she refrained from harsher retorts:

“I assure you, dear Lady Erridge, I have no desire to see the Commander outside of my given appointments. As for his mood… I find him to have warmed somewhat, with time. I am sure you have seen the same.”

But Lady Erridge’s head shook. “Oh, no. He is much the same with me as when we first met. I saw him in the morn, and he was hardly so happy.”

The Baroness added: “He was sullen as ever yesterday as well. But I hear your walk hours later had him laughing on the battlements, Lady Trevelyan.”

“Well, I—”

“I recall,” interrupted Samient, “that he was quite content to speak with you at the delivery the other day, as well.”

Maker! Such censure, for the sake of the Commander!

Trevelyan could hardly confess to them that he only paid her mind out of pity, for then they would ask what reason he had to pity her—and she was not feeling quick enough in this moment to invent a reason.

Yet pity or no, she was having all the attention they craved. That seed of guilt planted earlier now bore its fruits. They were interested in him, and she was not. But he showed her interest, and not them.

Though it might serve her own ends to take advantage, to attempt to... use him, even, it would come at the heartbreak of all three of the Ladies—not to mention the Commander. She would not ensnare him into an unrequited union only to make her life easier.

And... it would be ever so ironic should he fall for one of the women he deemed so terribly unimpressive. Seeing him feel a fool for that comment would be satisfying indeed.

“The Commander does not favour me,” she told the waiting Ladies, “and I certainly do not favour him. I believe common ground is needed—my arcane work is what put us on speaking terms. Perhaps…” Her voice turned conspiratorial: “Perhaps I could use my newfound position within the Inquisiton to discover his interests?”

Lady Erridge’s gloom evaporated in an instant. “Like a spy?”

“Exactly.” Trevelyan sat back in her chair. “I wonder, do any of you play chess?”

The Ladies stared at her, blank.

She smiled. “Shortly before you found us, Lady Erridge, I had just witnessed the Commander playing a game of chess—it was with Dorian, the mage I spoke of the other day, Lady Samient. Though Dorian is quite the wit, he was rather lacklustre an opponent. I wonder if we might do better.”

Lady Erridge sighed. “Oh, dear, I’m afraid I’m no good. Lady Orroat and I once attempted to play, but we ended up making stories between all the pieces. Her empress entered a most scandalous affair with my Knight-Templar!”

The anecdote tickled Trevelyan, but did nothing for her plan. She turned instead to the Baroness. “What about you, your Ladyship?”

“I do not play,” Touledy replied. “I prefer my strategy on the battlefield.”

“I play,” Lady Samient confessed. “Very well, in fact.”

Trevelyan nodded. “I would expect nothing less of you, Lady Samient.”

“Would you teach me?” Erridge piped up.

“Naturally,” said Samient.

Lady Erridge applauded, her mood vastly improved from what it had been the last hour. Trevelyan took that applause for herself, recognition for a job well done.

“Tomorrow morning, then,” she told them, “you shall play in the garden, and I shall lure the Commander to it.”

“How will you do that?” Erridge asked.

Trevelyan smiled. “With a little help.”

[switchedandbewitched]

Switched and Bewitched

Chapter 4: There’s a very logical explanation for all this

Read more on AO3!

“Why the hell are you guys sleeping together?” Daphne hissed. Light had just begun seeping through Velma’s bedroom windows. It was 6am at the latest. Velma stirred slightly and Shaggy’s eyes slowly opened. Scooby was still dead asleep between them, snoring. “Is there something... going... on?” Daphne’s eyebrow raised. 

“Like, no, Daph. Did you forget I’m a scaredy cat? On what planet would I sleep alone in a big, unfamiliar -” he yawned “house in, like, the future. Are you crazy?” 

Without opening her eyes, Velma said, “There’s more going on between Shaggy and a chocolate sardine sandwich than there is between the two of us. Why are you in here so early?”

“I wanted all of us to talk without Tim around. That guy gives me the creeps. Can you come down to Fred’s room?” 

They gently roused Scooby and rolled out of bed. Velma grabbed her glasses from the nightstand and they padded after Daphne, as quietly as possible. Fred was in a hospital bed, an IV still in his arm, but overall looked much better than when they had seen him at Coolsville Memorial. 

Daphne placed a hand on his forehead. “Fred, honey. Wake up.” 

Fred snorted and woke up with a start. “Hey, babe -- uh, everyone.”

“Like, up ‘n’ at ‘em, big guy,” Shaggy said. 

“Are you up for a little early morning mystery solving?” Velma asked. 

Fred carefully pulled himself into a sitting position with Daphne’s help. His attempt to put on a brave face was semi-successful at best. “Of course, Gang. You know me, I’m up for some good ol’ fashioned mystery-solving any day, any time. What do we have?”

Fred’s room was set up to support trap planning, which fortunately included a wall-sized white board opposite the bed. Velma rolled up her pajama sleeves, tossed an Expo marker to Shaggy and Daphne, and divided the board into 5 sections. “I want to know who remembers what and see if there are common themes.” 

“Sounds like a good place to start,” Fred said. “I remember entering the witch’s cabin and, during the struggle with her, there was a blinding light. Purple maybe? Blue? I’m not really sure.”

Velma jotted down the date of the encounter with the witch and Fred’s account. 

Daphne approached the board, notating similar details, and followed it up with, “I agree with what Freddie said, but I saw she had something in her hand.” 

“Nothing to add here,” Shaggy said.

“Rike, re reither.” 

“I’m having flashes of... other things...” Fred added. “Things that don’t make sense.” 

“Like, me, too, man!”

“Reah.”

“Same here.” Daphne nodded. “I noticed it almost as soon as we got here. I’m so... confused.” 

The Gang spent the next hour compiling a list of all the memories they had that seemed to belong to someone else. Many of them didn’t make sense, but they were able to connect a handful together. In the end, the lists read as: 

VELMA:

Hawai’i 

Witch doctor

Time Period: 1960s/1970s

Hotel (location unknown)

Vampire

Time Period: Unknown

Crystal Cove HS

Dating Shaggy

Time Period: Unknown. Estimated 2000s. 

Wedding dress

Time Period: Post 1900s. Approx. early 2000s. 

What does “Hot Dog Water” signify? 

No other identifying information.

Southern zombies ($)

Time Period: Unknown, unclear. 

Boyfriend named Winsor 

Time Period: Unknown, unclear.

DAPHNE:

Little boy in a yellow sweatshirt. Located in snowy mountains. (#)

Bright red van. It could be the mystery machine. 

Playing a game called “Wizards and Warlocks.” 

Yelling about an open window. 

Hosting a television show with Freddie and investigating a mystery involving zombies and... a giant lobster? 

Talking robot bird. Located in a Spanish-speaking country.  

FRED:

Beignets in LA with the Gang; zombies; no traps on record.  

Red Herring and a motorcycle (let the record show that Red Herring WAS responsible)

Investigating gator people in gatorsburg (go figure). 

Woman dressed in black/red with a bat necklace -- a singer? Absolutely, positively, definitely not as pretty as Daphne. 

Group camping trip resulting in investigation of a sheep laundering business. No, not washing sheep. 

SHAGGY:

SPAGHETTI... I MEAN A YETI 

CHINATOWN ON NEW YEAR’S EVE -- SAN FRAN (I COULD TELL BY THE EGG ROLLS)

BOY, MUSTARD YELLOW SWEATSHIRT (#)

SCRAPPY-DOO (%)

RED SHIRT, BLUE PANTS -- > HAIRY MONSTER (RED SHIRTS IN DRAWER UPSTAIRS?)

CRYSTAL COVE (*)

SEXY ALIEN GIRL (LIKE, TOTALLY THE MOST GROOVY LADY)

SCOOBY: 

RAPPY-DOO (%)

RAVEMAN RIN ROCK ROF RICE

“Clearly some of these “memories” are connected,” Fred said. 

“There doesn’t seem to be a particular pattern, however,” Velma said. She stood in front of the white board, brow furrowed, as she identified sets of memories with various symbols. 

“Shaggy, must we put “sexy alien girl” on the board?” 

Shaggy sighed. “Like, Daph, it’s the only positive memory I’ve gotten out of this. So yes, sexy alien girl is staying on the board. I can’t even describe how groovy she was... is? Man, this time thing is confusing me.” 

Daphne pulled out her phone and snapped a picture of the board. “There, now we can keep a copy of it.”

“Excellent idea,” Velma said. “Fred, how are you feeling?’

“I’m alright. Getting better every day, you know?”

“Like, how are you actually feeling, Freddie?” Shaggy asked. 

Fred rolled his eyes. “Awful. I feel awful. They said I almost died! 

“I, for one, am glad you didn’t.” Daphne said, kissing Fred and hugging him carefully. 

“Me, too,” Shaggy said, crashing their hug. Velma and Scooby both followed suit. “Like, is it time for breakfast yet?”

“We can table this for now,” Fred said. “I don’t see us putting these pieces together any time soon.” 

The staff at Shaggleford Manor served a large breakfast of pancakes, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, eggs, orange juice, and coffee. Shaggy and Scooby took six of everything, of course. The nurse wheeled Fred out to the table and the guys started chatting about the last football game they had watched: 49ers vs. the Cowboys on 11/27/1969. Velma, normally one for a chatty group breakfast, grabbed a bowl of fruit and wandered out to the front porch. She sat, looking over the unfamiliar Coolsville. Daphne followed behind a few minutes later, sitting next to her on the steps. 

“Are you doing okay?” Daphne asked. 

“No. Are you?”

“No,” Daphne said. She delicately picked at her cuticles. Her decades-old manicure was chipping. 

Velma nodded, staring ahead, and quietly bit into an apple. 

“Sooooo... you and Shaggy, huh? Sleeping in the same bed? Dating him in one of your memories?” Daphne teased, bumping Velma’s shoulder with her own. “Do you have a crush on him? Are you guys together? C’mon, you can tell me.” 

“No, I don’t have a crush on him and no, we are not dating. I already told you, there’s more going on between Shaggy and a sandwich than between me and him. And we don’t know that they’re memories, per se. They could be part of whatever the witch did to us or something our scrambled brains developed as a coping mechanism for neurological trauma.”

“I just think you two would make a really cute couple. And clearly you like him at least a little bit if your brain is responding to ‘neurological trauma’ by creating a fantasy where you two are together.” 

Velma set the apple core on the plate and made eye contact with Daphne. “Shaggy isn’t my type, Daph. I don’t like him, he doesn’t like me.” 

Daphne pouted a little bit. “You never bring anyone around. You know you could, right? Have you even dated anyone since starting college?” 

“No, I haven’t. Just leave it alone.” Velma felt herself on the verge of an anxiety attack. Honestly, she had been teetering on the edge of an anxiety attack since the Gang landed in the future. Everything was so fast and confusing here. 

“I don’t understand why you won’t talk about boys with me. I know I’m dating Fred, but I promise I wouldn’t make it awkward or anything. I just want to see you happy and other than that one date sophomore --” 

Velma pinched the bridge of her nose under her glasses and stood up, shaking. “Jesus fucking Christ, Daphne. I think I’m gay. Okay? I’m not going to be talking about boys with you.” 

“Uh. Oh.” Daphne blinked and fell silent. “Are - are you sure?”

Velma paced around the grass. “Yes.”

There was a long, tense silence that felt like it lasted hours. “That’s... that’s okay.” Daphne cleared her throat. “That’s okay.” 

Velma stopped pacing. “...Really?” 

Daphne nodded. “Does anyone else know?”

“Shaggy. Just Shaggy. He asked me a while ago and there was a bit of a... lightbulb moment...”

“Is this why you’ve been so distant all year?’

“Yes.” 

Daphne patted the step beside her and Velma sat back down. Daphne threw her arm around Velma’s shoulder’s. “We’ve been friends since we were kids. This doesn’t change anything. And I have missed you so much. I thought I did something to make you stop hanging out with me one on one.” 

“I didn’t know how to talk to you about this. I certainly didn’t think it would take a trip to the future.” 

“You know, I have a gay cousin. I could invite her over when we get back and maybe -”

“Daphne!” 

“Okay, okay. You let me know when you’re ready.”

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