#and without it it's not possible to solve the game boards

[kushanna]

i hate this type of red truth cause it's not specified whether the red sentence by itself is a truth for the murder we're talking about atm or for the game board as a whole. genji and nanjo were not killers? if you're telling me they can't be killers at all in the first game board then that's a huge bummer for me

also hate this one cause yeah?? does she guarantee that the unidentified corpses are actually corpses though?? i do understand that yes, since she did say "there were no body double tricks", but GOD that's such a ridiculous play with words. get out of here

[farenmaddox]

Thoughts on being 40

I’ve never written something like this, but 40 feels like a milestone worth taking a moment for. I never thought about myself at forty when I was fifteen or twenty-one. Thirty already felt like enough to worry about. Then 30 came and went, and it turned out that I loved being in my thirties. I loved the day that I realized I’d stopped looking around for an adultier adult when I had an issue, because I could solve it. I loved being able to recommend an optometrist and having a favorite cocktail. I loved going on vacations and getting promoted and getting married to the love of my life. I loved trusting myself to make good decisions.

And now I’m turning forty. I dreaded my 30s when I was 22, and then they happened to me and I loved them. So I am approaching my 40s with the hope and belief that they are going to surprise me just as much.

Most of the time, when I tell people I’m turning 40, and they say “ha ha you mean 39 again?” and I say “No, you don’t get it, I’m excited about 40.” They think I’m crazy, but the beauty of having lived on this earth for forty years is that I don’t care what they think. I have stopped pretending that I don’t like mayonnaise or that I can sit through Will Ferrell movies. I don’t have to laugh and agree with them on this, either.

I think I’m writing this because I want to leave a marker on the trail. Maybe for myself to come back to if I get lost, maybe for you as you head this way so you don’t get lost. I don’t know.

But here goes.

I am more capable of accepting ambiguity in my life that I ever thought was possible when I was young. I don’t need to know everything. It’s okay that I will never know what motivated someone to be rude to me or whether they even realized that they were. It’s okay that there is no single correct way of governing society or doing the dishes. I believe there are multiple possible answers to a lot of questions in this world. I can accept the premise of the Trolley Problem. I can accept “it depends” as an answer. It’s not always comfortable but I can do it.

I really do have to pick my battles. I really do have to have to choose a hill to die on and then let the rest of it go. Exhausted and defensive is not a good lifestyle and it doesn’t accomplish anything to live like that.

I am getting better at minding my own business. I love changing the subject when people start to gossip. It does not enrich my life to know that an ex’s divorce was messy or that two celebrities are feuding or dating or whatever it is they’re doing. I’m so much happier not knowing. I want to fill the limited space in my mind up with remembering my friend’s favorite book, and the rules for this board game I am playing with them. I have let go of the idea that someone’s ugliest moment or trait is their “true” self and that I need to know what they are doing behind closed doors. I want to focus on my true self.

I love myself more without labels. I do not need to find a hyper-specific explanation of my unique experience with gender and sexuality to feel good about myself or believe that my experience is real and true. “Queer” is a beautiful word for what I am and I’m very happy with it.

I can accept my body without loving my body. I can stop punishing it for not being what I wanted. I can stop punishing my mind for somehow failing to make my body into something else, as if self-discipline could overwrite genetics. I can focus on what will help us last out the rest of this life together in relative comfort. We don’t have to be in love; it’s not a requirement. We just have to coexist. I’m getting better at that.

I still believe that people are wonderful. That’s the one thing that I believed at fifteen and twenty-two and thirty, and I still do. Even as I write this, I question it, worry that I am not being honest, because the pandemic years have shaken me to my core. What I know now is that it’s an act of faith. I look at the wild world full of weird around me and I choose to be happy. I will never stop thinking about that Michael Jackson shrine in that park in Berlin that I walked past in 2016. I will never stop being delighted by the existence of acapella groups. I will never stop thinking about the four different people who stopped to ask me if I was all right recently, when I got light-headed and sat down on the curb for a few minutes on my way home. Someone always jumps in to help the passengers with walkers or strollers get safely off the bus, and sometimes that someone is me. Strangers ask me if they can pet my dog when I take her on walks, and they leave with a smile on their face, and the world is just full of love. No matter how scary it gets out there, I still believe that.

I am getting better at remembering that it all passes. The stress and the sadness and the anger feel so overwhelming when they come, and I used to let them control me and make me believe I wouldn’t ever get out from under them. But I did. Then I did it again. And now, when it happens, I know that I have been stressed and sad and angry before, and it went away last time, too. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but I can sit with it quietly. I can remember that it will feel different soon, and I don’t have to punish myself for feeling it. It doesn’t make me a bad person to have a bad day. It will pass me by, and soon I will be having coffee with my wife and my friends and we are going to laugh a lot. It’s going to be great.

It really is going to be amazing.

[anachronismstellar]

SQH x Original Goods SQQ ;>

ooooooh wait, WAIT I have to think this one

Let's all pretend is not 4 am shhhh

I feel like OG SQQ would be attracted by SQH competence, like a game of cat and mouse or or OH WAIT I KNOW

------

The black and white pieces were carefully organized over the wooden board, the game paused as both peak lords took their time to consider the possible strategies. Shen Qingqiu had been the last one to make a move, capturing one of Shang Qinghua's stones, turning it between his fingers as he took the opportunity to observe the An Ding Peak Lord.

He didn't know how they ended up in this situation. If someone asked Shen Qingqiu when he had started observing Shang Qinghua, he had no exact answer. He knew it hadn’t been during their Head Disciple days, then Shang Qinghua had blended so completely against the wall of yellow robes that Shen Qingqiu could barely remember him during his missions. His best bet would be one of the first meetings as peak lords, Yue Qingyuan still trying to organize twelve egotistical cultivators as each of them tried to grab more missions and more resources for their own peak.

Hah, he would have more luck shoving twelve cats in a bag.

But then, the An Ding Peak Lord stood up, slamming a pile of papers so high it had been a miracle it didn’t fall all over their table.

"May I speak, Zhangmen-Shixiong?" Shang Qinghua had asked after a short but respectful bow, flipping his sleeves in a circular motion to wrap them around his arms in a graceful movement. The he proceeded to metaphorically and literally grab all of them by the scruff of their necks, organizing their speaking order, cutting their speeches short with a no nonsense "Thank you" every time they spoke beyond their scheduled time.

"We can stop here for today," Yue Qingyuan said with his brows slightly up, not able to hide his surprise when they finished things before dinner time. "Thank you, Shang-Shidi, for your help."

"Of course, Zhangmen-Shixiong," Shang Qinghua answered, but Shen Qingqiu could see his mind was already somewhere else, rushing to get to the door before anyone else.

Since then he couldn't help but keep an eye on yellow robes passing by, eager to hold the other for a conversation, to pick on his brain.

He blinked, coming back to his bamboo house by the soft sound of rustling silk and jade against wood as Shang Qinghua made his move, holding back a frown.

"Either play properly or leave," Shen Qingqiu said as he took another white stone from the board, putting it a bit too forcefully on his little pile on the table.

"Ah sorry, sorry, Shen-Shixiong, I'm having issues with a special ink shipment, and then Mu-shidi asked for a flower that I know he knows it only grows during winter and it's summer-"

"Stop blabling," he sighed as he looked up, glaring at his ceiling to pray to Heavens for patience. Last time he had lost his temper with Shang-shidi the man had vanished for weeks, leaving Shen Qingqiu without a decent Go player and a bad taste on his mouth. "I have no patience for your mental games today."

And as if by magic the man in front of him transformed, the suck up smile sliding from his face as Shang Qinghua straightened up his posture, the small man growing twice his size as broad shoulders filled his robes properly. "This one apologizes for testing Shen-Shixiong's patience," Then Shang Qinghua slowly twisted his head to the side, cracking his neck followed by a sigh. "I had to spend the morning dealing with Zhangmen-Shixiong, and you know how it is."

Shen Qingqiu let a bitter chuckle escape, sliding his fan open to hide half of his face, knowing full well how good his eyes looked over the painted paper.

"What? Sucking his dick isn't solving the problem?"

The effect was immediate. Shang Qinghua that had decided to take a sip of his tea almost chocked on it, gasping for air for a good minute, face so red one could think he had never written porn in his life.

Oh yes, Shen Qingqiu knew about his little stories too. Shang Qinghua wasn't the only one with spies all over the mountains.

"I- We- It's not-"

"Oh, spare me," Shen Qingqiu scoffed, lazily fanning himself, as he gave one last glance at the board, mourning their forgotten game. Shame, it was so difficult for them to meet up for a match. Of course Yue Qingyuan had to spoil even this for him. "You might be able to lie to those buffoons Wei Qingwei and Liu Qingge, but I have two perfectly functioning eyes. Also, there are so many late night meetings one must attend before it gets excessive."

It was good to see that red suited Shang Qinghua just as much as yellow. And Shen Qingqiu had to use all his will to not laugh as the other peak lord did his best to recompose himself, all in vain.

"My real question is... And I know I will regret the answer," Shen Qinggiu raised his hand to stop the new barrel of excuses so he could finish speaking. "How ih the all realms did that start. Did he offered you a holiday of some kind? Or maybe he wanted to thank you for dealing with Liu Qingge last stunt, Heavens knows you deserve a raise for that."

Again, Shen Qingqiu wasn't expecting a real answer. In fact, he wasn't expecting an answer at all, the way Shang Qinghua was blushing, the An Ding peak lord was about to faint or run away before Shen Qinggiu could snap his fan closed.

What he did get, however, was a muffled string of words, followed by a groan and a whine. Peharps he had hit the mark with one of his hypothesis? Now, things have gotten even more interesting.

"Speak plainly, Shidi, you know I can't stand mumbling."

"He complimented my hands!" Shang Qinghua squaked, his voice so high it had scared the poor birds on the garden.

There was a beat of silence as Shen Qingqiu waited for the rest of the explanation, barking a laugh when nothing came.

"That's it? Is it that easy to make you open your legs?"

"Oh shut up, Shixiong, you say that as if you wouldn't do it too!"

That, was crossing a line.

Shen Qingqiu never had to explain himself or his hatred for Yue Qingyuan to the other peak lord, it was if Shang Qinghua knew somehow that they shared a past. That was another thing that drove them together, the fact that Shang Qinghua was able to keep his mouth shut, even when he could use it for his own gain.

"Shixiong, I'm so sorry I-"

"Do tell," he interrupted what was for sure about to be an emotional moment for both of them, lips pressed thin in a frown, making sure to send his best murder glare to the man in front of him. "What compliment did our steemed Zhangmen-Shixiong could have used to conquer the slippery An Ding Peak Lord?"

He could see Shang Qinghua's brain working a way to escape the situation, his eyes darting left and right, checking all the exists of the small house. He could also see the moment Shang Qinghua had resigned himself to his fate, shrugging and waving his hands, buying himself time before answering:

"He said I had nimble fingers? And then I panicked and asked if he wanted to see how nimble they were or something, I don't remember and then, well, we, uh-"

"Well?"

"W-Well what?"

"How nimble they are?"

It finally clicked, Shang Qinghua's face going from embarassed to surprised, then interessed as he made a point of putting both hands on the table, slowly tapping his fingers on the top of it, the little tease.

"Would Shen-Shinxiong like to find out for himself?"

Shen Qingqiu felt his mouth drying as a shiver went up his spine. He wanted to scream at himself, to throw Shang Qinghua out of his house and hit him with the Go board on his way out, just out of spite.

On the other hand, he couldn't deny that Shang Qinghua was a handsome man when he put on some effort. Specially when he was commanding a room of peak lords, giving orders left and right, so sure of his information and knowledge that they had no other choice but follow.

How would that be...

"Follow me, Shidi," he got up in a measured movement, holding back his excitement as he guided them towards his room. Time to see if not only what those fingers could do, but also to put that smart mouth for better use than fumbling excuses.

And just as he had done many times before, Shang Qinghua surprised him once again, making Shen Qingqiu scare the birds with an entirely other type of screams.

------

This got,,,, Insanely long holy shit.

Also, it's kinda a continuation of the SQH/YQY ask?? dshiufhdsuifhui

I hope you liked!!! Thank you for the ask it was a blast to write it!!! :DDDD

[sexhaver]

Magic the Gathering rules: a centralized, continually updated document built on a framework established by a math PhD 30 years ago that can be used to resolve literally any situation that could possibly arise, no matter how complex. "reading the card explains the card". literally Turing complete.

Yu-Gi-Oh! rules: a slapdash mess of individual card rulings and functional errata held together by spit, prayers, and bans. Konami didn't invent the concept of "reading the card explains the card" until 2011 with Problem-Solving Card Text and even then it's not 100% consistent. it's frankly a miracle that the game functions at all without exploding and injuring bystanders.

Hearthstone rules: there was a one-week period where having Fandral Staghelm on the board would allow you to cast Dark Wispers targeting yourself instead of a creature, which in addition to summoning 5 1/1 Wisps would also give your hero +5 max health, +5 attack (permanently, even on your opponent's turn, so you damaged any minions that hit your face), and Taunt (so enemy minions were forced to hit your face before hitting any of your minions, effectively making them untargetable). people argued over whether or not this was a glitch until Blizzard quietly patched it out

[tadc-harlequin-au]

Any of these lovely edgelords have dorky hobbies? Please? I hope they do? At least Kinger

LMFAO "LOVELY EDGELORDS" STOPPPPPPP

Pomni - When her brain stops being "RAAAAAAAAAA FIGHT SOMETHING RAAAAAAAAAAAAA" all the damn time, she eventually gets into puzzle-solving that gets her noggin a thinking. Sometimes, when she's outside, she'll try to balance some rocks. Chances are, if you see a randomly stacked pile somewhere in the city, that's her doing.

Caine - revisits old projects when he's in the mood, not reading, not shitfaced drunk or dealing with everyone. As the story progresses on and his relationship with Pomni develops, he gifts her some small handmade Mechanical Wonders. He doesn't know if she keeps them, but you know.

Ragatha - I've mentioned she likes to listen to vinyls and it's why she regularly goes to Caine for new ones to listen to, yeah? Well, she also likes to sew if she's not drinking tea, sensing charms or trying to clean artifacts. She's trying to master all sewing techniques.

Jax - Tries doing trick shots with whatever object he comes across with that don't even land 90% of the time. When he does do it successfully, he celebrates like he won a gold medal and praises himself so much. He also does that "highest leap" thing on every fucking doorway, chandeliers and stairways, though no one really understands it. Kaufmo joins in on this once he's added to the team and both of them start to compete who's got the highest jumps. They'll also compete with who can reach Gangle.

Gangle - Writes about everyone in fictitious, often time exaggerated settings and scenarios. She also has the tendency to "parrot" sentences (unintentionally), trying to mimic the voices (but immediately apologize when pointed out). She'll pop in front of anyone randomly, give them a sketch study, and then leave without uttering a single word, too shy to conversate even the slightest bit. Caine is the often victim of this because he's the one who gives her drawings praise the most.

Kingr - If not challenging every puppet on the block to a strategic board game match? Classic bug watching. He'll follow the insect as much as possible before moving on and pondering about the lives of the bugs. He likes to watch ants the most. When Quinnie officially arrives, he feels the need to share his discoveries with her. He also likes to tackle a little bit with calligraphy.

Z - I've already mentioned sculpting before, but it's not just big ones they make. Z would actually try to make miniature sculptures to give themselves a challenge. They also like to meditate, but the others can't sit still for very long and would sometimes get into arguments, leaving Z to abandon the session and try to reach a middle ground with them on what exactly they want to do (if they're willing to negotiate that is)

They're still on the process of discovering what exactly they like as a hobby, but food art seems to be on top of the list.

[yandere-fics]

Reader thinks they cheated

♡ Reader Thinks They're Cheating ♡

♡ Miriel would commit a murder over this, she'd figure out who put this thought in her poor mates head and who her mate thinks she's cheating with and have them killed. She'd literally be livid, like it's one thing for someone to convince her mate to try to escape but to try to make her mate think she has eyes for someone else and probably make her mate cry, it's not enough to just ruin their life, they have to die. Depending on how much you cried over it, she might even hurt them herself before letting the hitmen finish the job. She'd also want to leave the city after this likely so she'd have less of a workload and her mate would always be near her so you'd never have to feel like she's cheating again. She'll also cry a lot. ♡

♡ It's a really silly thought considering the thought of anyone else makes her dick like shrivel up and want to fall off, like that's how gross it is to picture anyone else like that. Beyond that she fucks you until her cum is literally like clear and she can't produce much more, how would she even have time or energy to fuck someone else if she's draining herself into you on a nightly basis? If it helps you feel better you can try to mark your territory and cover her in stuff so everyone knows she is with you, she'll even let you put a collar on her with a tracker though it doesn't help much since you can't leave the apartment without her, still it might make you feel better. ♡

♡ Selene would want to hit her head into a wall repeatedly, is this her fault? Is this because she failed to be faithful in the past? She'll forgive you for these assumptions though. Honestly this is a really hard conclusion to come to because the only time she's around people after she finds her mate are people who are members of the church or when she has to go for the god meetings once a year which you would be at her side the entire time because she's clingy. If you think maybe she's mentally cheating and picturing someone else as you fuck then this can be solved with her moaning your name way more often in bed, no more pet names, she's saying your full name, now you know she's not picturing anyone else because if she was she'd mix the names up way more. ♡

♡ This belief would likely come from just how patient she is when it comes to not pressuring you into sex, you might think the reason she's able to be so patient is because she's getting it from someone else, the real reason she's able to be so patient though is because she avoid situations she knows would make her fuck the shit out of you and digs her claws into her hands deeply to keep the horny at bay even though it doesn't work very well because of her high pain tolerance. When you confess your fears to her she'll decide being patient is bullshit because it only makes you worried and there's not reason to hold back anymore so months of pent up longing for her mate will come out in the span of a full week of fucking. ♡

♡ Nikki doesn't know what you're talking about when you confront her about this actually. She doesn't even know what cheating means so at first she thinks maybe you were playing something together on a date night and you think she cheated at the game which couldn't be possible because she let's her mate win at board games, her coworkers said it was the polite thing to do but when you talk her through the concept by the end you probably aren't even worried anymore because how could she be doing that when she was literally just so confused at what you meant by her being with someone who isn't her mate. You'll probably back off cause it feels silly to continue to yell at someone so confused and later at work she'll ask her coworker what it was her mate meant and they'll walk her through the concept and she'll tell you bluntly when she gets home, "angels can't cheat." and at like she fixed everything. ♡

♡ You might think this for the first few weeks after she gets you home cause she might not have revealed she's a serial killer yet and so when she leaves for long you might think she has another partner secretly. As soon as you tell her about this, she'll bring the next victim home at which point you might think she's admitting to cheating now and cry and then she'll slash them violently for making her mate cry and you'll start to realize, she only loves you, she's just a murderer which may or may not make you feel better depending on your personality. Rest assured she'd slit her own neck before she would kiss someone not her mate. ♡

♡ You likely think it cause Nora has to leave for work at night and when you confront her she'll make up some night job she has and literally call in favors from the boss to fake an entire job she supposedly has so you won't have to feel worried anymore, will also start dosing your nightly snack so you sleep through the night and don't question her coming and going at different nightly hours anymore. Don't worry though she could never cheat because you're her reason for living and everyone else is just someone she could kill without a moments hesitation just for you. ♡

♡ The only scenario I could imagine reader thinking Sawyer is seeing someone else is in a sugar baby situation, you haven't moved in yet, she's just been taking you on fun dates, perhaps you think she's married secretly and you're the other woman or she has multiple sugar babies and is seeing which one she likes the most before settling on which one gets girlfriend status. You'd likely confront her when you're going to move in finally and you ask her if she's broken things off with the other women which actually makes her laugh harder than she thought was possible to laugh and just says that was a very good joke. If you keep pushing and say you weren't joking she'll assure you that you were the only woman all along. ♡

[babeyun]

easy, kitty ✩ s.jy [teaser]

✩ series m.list

✩ synopsis: after years of being referred to as a white whale by your respective detectives and being poorly sought after by single (and...not-so-single) suitors in your department, you're rescued by sim jaeyun - only for information in return.

✩ genre: fake dating au | unrequited love.

✩ pairing: detective!sjy x bookkeeper!reader

✩ word count: 1.1k | [full fic: tbd]

✩ rating: 18+. minors dni.

✩ warnings: none, just jaeyun shamelessly flirting and talk of shitty coworkers? some misogyny in the workplace?

✩ a/n: hello! i know this may seem a little confusing, but just trust the process. this is what would be the "present"...their juicy backstory will come in due time <3

monday, june 9th.

okay. 

you admit it.

you hate your job. you hate it! and that's okay, right? it's okay to absolutely despise walking into your job at eight in the morning with your steel tumbler filled to the brim with boiling hot tea. it's okay to hate the way you feel a sense of dread any time you hear footsteps nearing your little nook of an office. it's okay to dive under your desk the moment someone knocks on your door, and despite them opening it and seeing your tea still piping hot and your bag gently placed on the oak desk – they assume you're not in.

and you prefer it that way. you like hiding under your desk to eat your apple slices, and you even made friends with the cobweb spider in the corner of it. you like hiding your shoes and bag in a random cabinet drawer so they assume you're out sourcing materials. you love when your coworker, aeri uchinaga, swings by with invites to lunch so you won't have to speed to the cafeteria before any of the rookie detectives can bother you about sourcing information for them.

honestly, you weren't surprised to hear some of your fellow analysts call you the white whale of the department – you were the longest standing bookkeeper in the seventh precinct, and you knew the entire database by heart. you were rarely on board to help detectives solve their cases, often slipping just out of view and forcing them to ask around for help.

okay.

so maybe you don't actually hate your job. you hate the people in your department, except for your department director, hwang hyunjin, aeri and her boyfriend, yang jeongin. you hate the way that your coworkers relentlessly flirt with you, and they always manage to sour your mood the moment they compliment how pretty you look. luckily, once they realized you weren't interested in their little game of cat and mouse, they backed off.

until you showed up to the new year's eve party six months ago without a date, and shared a friendly hug with hyunjin, at midnight. it was enough to make the entire precinct wonder if you were single – and instead of focusing on their jobs, you could hear them whisper about you for the next two weeks. some of these people hadn't even known you were still working at the precinct, that's how uncommon it was to see you help anyone out – and how rare it was to see you at work events.

a lot assumed you thought you were too good to help them, that they weren't worth your time. they weren't entirely wrong – the rolling batches of detectives were more and more rude, and demanding in a way you didn't really like. so you made sure to seem as offstandish as possible, and no one got in your way. it was always a hard eight hours, but you always managed to leave the building without a single person speaking to you about sourcing anything for them. a skill, really. 

however, you were not as lucky this evening.

"y/n, baby." the flirtatious tone is subtle, but all-too-familiar. you groan inwardly, your back aching from being hunched over the stake of paper folders as you curse the precinct for not going digital. "what, jake?" you glance up through stands of stray hair, watching as he pouts playfully.

"no hello? how are you?" his smile doesn't dwindle as he leans his head on the doorframe, and you can feel the soft heat of his eyes on your face. sighing, you straighten your back, holding a stack of papers in your hands. you internally grimace as your lips immediately curve into a gentle smile at his own. "hello, jake. how are you?" "much better now that you're smiling." rolling your eyes, you beckon him forward with a nod of your head. he shuts the door behind him, taking a seat on the stool by your printer. your office had never been too homey, not in the last few years you'd been working here. you quickly learned to leave home at home and vice versa. "right, bro. what can i get for you?" "bro?!" he whines, dramatically clutching the left side of his chest as he kneels to the ground. "you wound me, babe. i've been struck, i'm seeing the light–" he flops on the floor, closing his eyes and sticking his tongue out. you give him a quizzical look, before nudging his ribcage with your pointed heel. he suppresses a squeal before trying to discreetly push your foot away. "jaeyun, get up and tell me what you want before i kick you out." you sigh at his theatrics, making him groan from the floor. "you know, it wouldn't kill you to be nicer. i am doing you a huge favor by being this dramatic, after all." he says pointedly, still laying on the dirty floor when you scoff. "right, as if being impassioned isn't second nature to you." "hey, when you've got it, flaunt it, baby!" he lays on his side, propping his head up with his hand as you pretend to stab your pen into your chest and drag it down. he grimaces, before looking up at you with a smile. your eyes narrow at this, and his smile only grows wider as your phone buzzes on the desk. "who's that? your boyfriend?" you can feel your eyes threatening to get stuck if you roll them any more, and you pick up your phone as jake finally stands from the floor, dusting his clothing. "jake-" "oh wait, i'm your boyfriend! what a lucky guy!" he leans over to peer at your phone screen, seeing aeri texting you about the next company dinner. you would normally attend them alone, but since you roped jake into being your fake boyfriend (with good reason!)…you didn't have much of a choice. "where are we going now? do i get to hold your hand?" his eyes scan the screen, making you snort as you push him back lightly. "as if you need an excuse to hold my hand, you literally grab it any chance you get! you'd keel over if i let you kiss me." you don't notice the soft eyes raking your face, but you don't get a chance to as he retorts, leaning against your desk as you shove your phone in your pocket.

"easy, kitty. by the end of this, you'll be begging me to kiss you." 

no matter how long you're around jake, you will always ask yourself why you chose him out of all the men in this precinct. you ask yourself how he managed to be at the right place at the right time, saving you out of yet another of your coworker's cringe-worthy attempts to sweep you off your feet. you're grateful, of course – but somehow, you realized only a few moments in that he would be your demise. no more white whaling, it seems.

BABEYUN © 2024. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

taglist [those in red could not be tagged!]: @thesassy-mia @starfallia @ramenoil @hoonieversies @wintabite @shnnzsworld @eneiyri @jjongsha @ilovejungwonandhaechan @oopshee @capri-cuntz @petalsofink @teddybeartaetae @chocminteu @moon0fthenight @delvziion @heeseungthel0ml @marimariiiiiiii @thenastone

[holmsister]

The labru chess meme but like serious: why Kabru bets on Laios and wins

If you're like me (mentally ill (I can say that I'm diagnosed) about labru) you have seen several variations on this meme:

With Kabru and Laios. (To see a small collection of them, please click on the "labru chess meme" tag on this post). Would you like me to hyperanalyse this aspect of their dynamic to death and not even in a shippy manner, therefore sucking all of the fun out of the meme? Keep reading!

Spoilers for the whole manga ahead. Contains also a quantity of Winged Lion.

First of all: as noted several times, it's not that Laios is eating the pieces to win at chess, it's that he's hungry, chess pieces are available, and he thinks Kabru is a fellow chess piece eater as well. Because he offered him a chess piece. And kabru ate it. While still trying to play chess because he thinks Laios is playing chess in some novel way he wants to understand better. If you think I'm beating this metaphor to death now you haven't seen anything yet.

The thing is. Kabru's whole thing is about finding someone who can defeat the dungeon, whatever shape that takes. And Kabru knows he cannot do it. He lacks what it takes, again, whatever exactly that is. And at some point, he makes the call that Laios has that something.

What's that something? Well. He's eating the chess pieces.

In another post I have already talked about the parallels between Kabru and the Winged Lion. Without going into it again: I think that all things aside, those two have very similar types of intelligence. They're fascinated by people and finding out what motivates them. They can be manipulative and even cruel in the quest for what they believe to be the "good ending". And they both think their end can be achieved through Laios.

See, *those two* are playing chess. Have you ever played? It's a very ancient and noble game, you know, very storied.

Two opponents, Black and White, take turns moving pieces on a checkerboard according to rules that depend on the piece itself (Towers move only horizontally but of as many squares as they please, Pawns only of one square at a time and only move towards the opposite side of the board, Bishops move only diagonally, etc etc). Players can only move one piece per turn, once per turn. Two pieces cannot be in one square. When a player moves a piece in a square that is already taken by a piece of the opposing colour, the piece that was there already is "captured" and removed from the board. The rules are actually much more complicated but this is the barest bones.

I hear sometimes the win condition in chess being described as "capturing the King". That's not entirely it. The win condition in chess is putting the opposing King piece in checkmate, that is, in a position in which the King will be captured by the opposing player by the next turn no matter what moves either of them makes.

Chess matches between masters are notorious for being impossibly long. Some last YEARS. Not only that, it's possible to draw in chess - when none of the pieces on the board have legal moves left but nobody is in check. This condition is called a stalemate.

Since the pieces can move in limited ways, mathematically, it's possible to calculate a most efficient way to move them. In 1997, the AI (real AI, not the stuff that passes for AI nowadays) Deep Blue beat then chess world champion Garry Kasparov for the first time in what is considered a milestone achievement.

It's a complicated game with very set rules and almost infinite yet calculable possibilities, is what I'm getting at. It's why it's a favourite mental exercise for mathematicians and people with similar minds. It's a problem to solve in a certain number of steps according to certain rules. There's a solidity in chess reasoning - even when you're trying to guess your opponent strategy, you still know there are things they are NOT going to do. Like eating the pieces. That's why the meme is funny. I think. I've lost sight of what normal people find funny years ago.

This is the game Kabru and the Winged Lion are both in. They are both positioned to move in checkmate (conquering the dungeon/escaping the dungeon), but they have both reached a point in which they cannot move further on their own power. They're in stalemate and they know it. They both need Laios to move them out of the stalemate.

The difference is what they choose to do.

The Winged Lion treats Laios as another check piece. An important one for sure (the Queen, even. That's a chess joke AND a gay joke). But a piece he can manipulate, that moves around in predictable ways.

Kabru, however, has spent enough time chewing on chess pieces to realise thats not where Laios' potential really lies. What he does is step aside and leave the board to Laios. He says "OK, dude. Eat the damn pieces if you must. I trust you know what you're doing."

You see. There's no rule in chess about eating the pieces. I think. Maybe they added one. But still. Most people when teaching someone to play chess would not think to add "and don't eat the pieces!" There at the end because they will assume that goes without saying. It's an unspoken rule that when you are playing a game involving pieces on a board, the pieces are not for eating.

Laios, our beloved autism knight, needs his rules spoken. Otherwise he's just gonna do whatever comes to mind. And that's what he has that Kabru lacks, and what leads him to outsmarting the Winged Lion. Because he does not think in terms of rules and limits. He does not try to guess what's the catch. He does not go after the King.

When Laios figures out what the primary motivation of the Winged Lion is (wanting to eat wishes), he does not wonder about his wider plan. He stops and thinks. That makes human wishes sound so tasty, he thinks, that a creature so powerful can give up on its life of perfect bliss and immortality on another dimension to taste them. I wonder if I could eat them too. I wonder if I could eat away the Lion's desire to eat desires - I could kill two birds with one stone!

He doesn't know or care what the aim of the game is according to the rules. *His* aim now is to eat the Winged Lion's desire. Because it would solve things, because he wants to know how it tastes like, who knows, who cares. The point is: what's the fastest way to get at his aim?

Well. The Lion promises to turn him into his ideal monster... the same one he wrote about in his book. Maybe he can add a line about the monster being able to eat desires. That would work, right?

It's such a stupidly simple plan that almost has no right to work. Neither Kabru nor the WL think about it. Because of a variety of reasons, but most importantly, because *that's not in the rules*. The rules are: Laios makes a wish, the WL realises that wish, in exchange he gets Laios' body. Laios' wish: to be turned into his ultimate monster that he wrote about in his book. It goes without saying that he can't just go ahead and add whatever to the book description. Right?

Kabru would not have thought to add a line in the book in a MILLION years. The WL does not think to check if Laios added any strange condition. It's like using one wish of the genie to wish for infinite wishes - I mean yeah nobody SAID you couldnt do that but it's obvious right? It's basically cheating... Who does that? ...what's this? Laios, what are you eating? Spit the King out!

Ps: in Italian, the word for "capture" on a chessboard and the word for "eating" are one and the same.

[nosyp]

'What do you want from me'

Warnings = William kidnaps u :P

Pairing = William James Moriarty x reader

Word count = 1k words

“What do you even want from me?” you ask, your voice trembling. You’re not quite sure if it’s anger or confusion.

He doesn’t answer you. He just… smirks, the corners of his lips curling up ever so slightly. It’s annoying. It’s like he’s enjoying your frustration, playing with your emotions like a toy. And the worst part is… you know he’s enjoying it.

You glare at him. “I’m serious! You can’t just– you can’t just take someone like this! It’s illegal, immoral–”

“And yet,” William interrupts smoothly, his voice a low hum, “here we are.”

You clench your fists, nails digging into your palms. “You’re insane.”

He leans forward slightly, resting his chin on his hand, his crimson eyes glinting in the dim light of the room. “Insanity is a matter of perspective, my dear. From where I’m sitting, you’re the one who appears… irrational.” His gaze flickers to your trembling hands, his subtle smirk widening.

You exhale sharply, refusing to let him see how rattled you are. “Then enlighten me. Why am I here? What possible use could you have for me?”

This time, he pauses, letting the silence stretch into something more unbearable. His expression is unreadable, unpredictable. Finally, he rises from his chair with a lazy grace, stepping closer to where you stand. You have to admit that he’s taller than you expected. The air around him was heavy with… an unspoken authority that makes you instinctively take a step back.

“Let’s just say,” he murmurs, his voice dropping to a low whisper, “you’re far more valuable than you realize. But I wouldn’t worry too much about the details. Leave that to me.”

His cryptic response only fuels your anger. “That’s not an answer!” you snap, but your voice falters as he tilts his head, studying you like a puzzle he’s already solved.

“No,” he agrees softly. “But that's all you’re getting.”

“T-This is bullshit!” you yell. But he doesn’t react. Just stands there, in front of you, with a wide smirk across his face that you so desperately wish to wipe off.

Your hands tremble at your sides, your nails are so close to breaking the skin of your palms. You want to hit him, scream at him, do something to shatter that facade of his. But his gaze, sharp and unwavering, pins you in place like a butterfly on a board.

“You can keep yelling if it helps,” he says, his tone almost... indulgent. “Though I doubt it’ll change anything.”

“Oh, fuck you! You’re just a sexually frustrated loser who can’t do anything.” you bite back, the words tumbling out before you can stop them. For a moment, just a fleeting moment, you think you see his smirk twitch, his crimson red eyes narrowing… in amusement? … or perhaps intrigue.

He leans closer, the distance between you closing until you can feel the faint heat of his breath. “Such fire,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with mock admiration. “I wonder how long it will last.”

Your body stiffens, the urge to retreat battling with the stubborn resolve to not give him the satisfaction. “You won’t get away with this,” you hiss, your voice shaking but determined.

William tilts his head, as though considering your words, and then laughs. It’s soft and melodic, but there’s something unnerving about it, like he knows something you don’t. “Get away with it? My dear, I already have.”

His words sink in, chilling your resolve. Whatever game he’s playing, you’re the unwilling pawn, and it’s clear he’s several moves ahead. But you refuse to let him win without a fight.

Your legs feel heavy as you plant your feet, determined not to let him see how rattled you are. But that smirk of his… it makes you furious, like he knows exactly what you’re thinking and is already three steps ahead.

“Why are you doing this?” you demand again, your voice shaking but stronger now. “What do you want from me?”

William regards you with a calmness that only makes your anger flare brighter. “I’ve already told you,” he says softly, his gaze unwavering. “You’re valuable.”

“To you?!” you spit. “Why?”

This time, he doesn’t smirk. His expression shifts into something darker, quieter, as though the answer is too large, too complicated for words. “Let’s just say your involvement is… necessary,” he says finally, his voice lower, almost serious. “You may not see it yet, but your presence here is for a greater good.”

You scoff, your laugh sharp and bitter. “You’re delusional. You think you’re some kind of savior? You’re a fucking maniac.”

William doesn’t flinch at your words. If anything, they seem to amuse him. He steps closer, and you step back on instinct as he invades your space like a predator cornering its prey.

“You can think what you like,” he murmurs, his voice dropping to a whisper. “But in time, you’ll understand. The world is far more complicated than you realize, and sometimes, sacrifices must be made.”

“Sacrifices?” you repeat, your heart pounding. “You mean me.”

His smirk returns, smaller this time, but no less infuriating. “Not quite,” he says. “But rest assured, you’ll play your role beautifully. Whether you like it or not. I’ll make sure of that.”

You swallow hard, your mind racing for some way to push back, to escape this domain of his. “You can’t keep me here forever,” you say, your words pouring with defiance.

William chuckles softly, his eyes glinting in the dim light. “Forever? No. Just long enough.”

Before you can respond, he suddenly turns around with his coat swirling around him as he walks toward the door. Then, he pauses in place, his hand resting on the handle, and gives you one last glance.

“Oh, and one more thing,” he says, his voice as calm and measured as ever. “Try not to do anything funny. It won’t end well for you.”

The door clicks shut behind him, leaving you alone in the room. Your chest rises and falls with every shaky breath, your mind racing with questions and thoughts of his plans. Whatever William James Moriarty wanted from you, one thing was clear… and it was that you weren’t going to give it to him without a fight.

[howlsofbloodhounds]

(I usually ask anonymously because I'm shy asf but I wanted to ask non-anonymously because I don't think anons get notified when their ask gets answered.)

I feel like you know enough about Killer to tell me If this sounds solid or if it's dogwater. (Also to know if this idea had already existed or not sksksk). Please tell me if I made any mistakes, though! My brain is kinda fried lately and I had the strong urge to yap :'D

So I think it has been established that Killer's bones are constantly melting due to the high amounts of determination inside of him, and he'll eventually melt away and die. I think it is also mentioned somewhere that Color promises to find a way to 'fix' his soul?

I think the viable solution would be the Determination (DT) Extractor machine. In the Undertale game, in Alphys's True Lab we see the DT Extractor machine, it is used to extract DT from the human souls to be later injected into monster bodies. I wonder if we hypothetically can use this to solve Killer's perpetually melting problem? Has anyone thought of it?

(I do think there's some sort of like Sans fights animation where Killer is thrown to the DT Extractor in the middle of battle and he loses his DT. But my memory is fuzzy...)

Thank you, have a nice day (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

I suppose that’s an option they could try, especially since Color said he knows a guy and perhaps he meant his AU’s Gaster, but would it work, and would it work without killing him or grievously injuring him? Is killer willing to risk the possibility of being changed yet again.

Would it do anything to his code? That’s changed now too.

He’s arguably spent more time with DT as apart of his being than without it. Is it just a part of him now?

It invaded his soul like a parasite, perhaps it’d be hard to remove at all (almost like it doesn’t want to be removed) (stage 4 is described as pure Determination. perhaps in a way its also like rejecting 4.) and any intense pain and trapped feelings would provoke stage 3 into instinctively fighting back and trying to survive.

which is ironic, considering how 3 could remember the feeling of invasion and wants the invading parasite out.

Perhaps killer’s biggest struggle in trying to ‘fix’ himself is himself. And instead he should focus on trying to heal and recover.

I imagine it’d be a strange feeling. watching your body struggle and fight against something you wanted and willingly agreed to, as if it doesnt understand that this was going to (supposed to) help.

maybe they make or find a smaller syringe like version to slowly take out and remove small amounts in certain times of the day, if only to prevent more damage on his body and further slow down the melting and rotting.

I’d imagine this would not only bring up trauma around his soul and people touching it or injecting/extracting things in and from it; but may also bring up a whole lot of concerns about becoming weaker, unable to protect himself and worries about having to rely on someone else.

Not only do i still feel like 3-4 would cause rather violent resistance against the idea of extraction DT (one instinctual, the other because it means losing connections to chara/the player and failing the deal), and 2 wouldnt want it for the mentioned above.

1 likely would, even if it kills him and especially if it weakens him (he’s accepted death a long time ago, it’s the final rest for him, and losing DT just means freedom and less pain and less suffering for others and him he thinks), while 2 may bury his wants deep down and go along with it if it seems to make Color happy.

But of course, if Killer doesn’t seem fully on board and enthusiastic about it, Color’s not going to make him.

{ @dseval }

[goldensunset]

share ur theories abt khml pleaseeeee im dying over here

ok ok i’m thinking. i’m thinking ummmm

so as pointed out in this post it’s odd that master’s defender is on freya’s weird conspiracy board/wall. seems like she’s gathering and analyzing important things to try to figure something out, right? so what’s particularly and immediately relevant about the founder’s keyblade?

i’m feeling like master’s defender is either 1. missing (even stolen), like that post was talking about or 2. they know exactly where it is but there’s something weird going on with it lately. like is it really just a regular keyblade? surely not

basically i can easily see this item as being central to whatever the conflict of this game is about. it is The Missing Link™️. like it’s clearly culturally very important to the people of scala bc their founder wielded it and he’s been immortalized in a statue holding it, and we know its history (having come from brain, who got it from ava, who may or may not have gotten it from MoM bc of the insignia) is a plenty interesting one. so there’s a lot they can do with it here

we also know its future is clearly an interesting and relevant one because eraqus inherits it. we can be absolutely certain without a doubt it was a nepotism thing as opposed to merit bc it’s been pointed out that he’s a blueblood and also there’s no way that doofus earned it by his own right or whatever lol. so like… khml is surely gonna feature the themes of bloodlines and inheritance, right?

but it’s super interesting bc (presumably) eraqus’s ancestor is brain, right? i mean he could possibly have dual lineage and also be related to ephemer at this point but like i feel like what they’ve been going for all along is that it’s brain. but then you consider how if master’s defender is associated with ephemer then surely his (main) bloodline would be the ones inheriting this keyblade right? assuming they don’t like have it in a museum being treated like a relic or whatever. (also assuming the one ephemer’s statue is holding isn’t literally the keyblade itself baked in there but that’s a thought tangent for another time)

my point being. it seems odd that eraqus would end up with it. that his ancestors would have it. and therefore i’m thinking possibly part of the plot of the game is that brain takes it for himself or something. i mean like it was his first and ephemer himself was like ‘ok i’ll take it but in my mind it still belongs to you’. would it really be in character for brain to steal like that? dunno. but there are a multitude of ways it might go down

like maybe it’s a national treasure-esque situation where he steals it to prevent someone else from stealing it. like he’s just holding onto it for safekeeping and ends up keeping it. alternatively he takes it bc there’s something weird happening with it and he wants to solve the mystery. basically this is how ‘brain gets arrested’ becomes real

much to think about

[elliemarchetti]

Double Wedding

I don't know if I nailed today's prompt for @jilymicrofics, but the idea of ​​James and Sirius being married was too funny not to delve into.

Prompt: Astounded

Words: 489

Lily was astounded. Perhaps shocked would’ve been the right term, although, knowing the characters she should’ve expected it. Marlene, however, was furious.

“Remind me why I shouldn’t kill one of you and solve the problem,” she hissed, a suspicious, and frankly slightly concerning, coldness in her voice.

“Because you would be sad about it if you did?” suggested Sirius, immediately retreating when his girlfriend glared at him.

Lily didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. In itself, the situation would’ve been extremely comical, if only James and Sirius hadn’t forgotten to tell them, and the small omission, as they defined it, wasn’t messing with Marlene’s vision.

Their fiancees were already married to each other. A foolish decision, took when they were fresh out of Hogwarts, during a drunk night out with Remus and Peter, who acted as their witnesses, which was now having considerable consequences on the organization of two real weddings.

“Look at it this way,” James ventured, turning to Marlene, “you could traumatize so many old ladies by introducing yourself as Sirius’s lover for the rest of your lives.”

The blonde girl seemed to ponder the possibility, but ultimately decided it was far better to be the new, and only, Mrs. Black.

“I want Walburga to turn in her grave at the thought of what I’ll do to the good name of her noble and most ancient house,” she ruled.

“That’s why I love you,” murmured Sirius, and in the blink of an eye they were reconciled, and were making out like teenagers. Sometimes, Lily was convinced their brains were still stuck at seventeen, trapped in bodies that were inevitably destined to grow old, but she felt no resentment for their ways, considering what they had been through to get there.

“And you?” James queried, sliding one of his long arms around Lily’s shoulders to pull her closer. “What do you want?”

Lily raised her head to meet his deep brown eyes, to study every detail of his features, and how his dark, always dishevelled hair fell on his forehead. She wanted to see him struggle with his glasses every morning, and be there when his first white hair made its appearance in the beard he was desperately trying to grow in an attempt to look older. She wanted a house all for them, a welcoming place, where they could invite friends for dinner and board games night, where they could mature as a couple and start a family…

“What are you thinking about?” he inquired, his face now decidedly closer, so much so that their noses were almost touching.

“What happens once we say I do,” she admitted, the hint of a smile she didn’t want to contain making its way to her lips.

“Second thoughts?” he asked, vaguely horrified.

Lily shook her head. She couldn’t imagine her life without James anymore, no matter how much the bullshit from his youth would haunt them in adulthood.

[berrypass-de-murdler]

3 - 42 The King is Dead

Calm down title, it's just a filler episode.

I am continuously running out of things to say, so here's glitter umber

Much love to anyone who's bothered to check out a post of mine <3

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

The submarine rises… at the dock, just where they started out. That only protected them for a day.

LOGICO: Oh well… thanks anyway Cloud…

The isopup submerges into the deep once more.

Exhausted, Gico and Tino wander by Murder Park. Logico backtracks when he sees Coffee and Rose engaged in a chess match. 

ROSE: I should kill you for how you humiliated me! COFFEE: You should, shouldn’t you? But no, we are going to play chess instead! LOGICO: Okay okay, I HAVE to watch this. IRRATINO: Are you kidding? We’re being hunted down! LOGICO: Exactly! It’s such a bad idea that they’d never think to look here. And I LOVE CHESS!!

He gets in their business, but they’re not pleased with his staring.

ROSE: If you must do chess, do it at the other table! LOGICO: But who will my opponent be? COFFEE: Well… hm, me. Because I will win this little tournament! ROSE: NO! He can play against that human there. I will not let this match end!

Rose emits a roaring laugh as Logico sits across from a human body that can’t sit upright.

LOGICO: Oh… I just wanted to play chess…

Irratino isn’t fazed by much, but Logico’s chess obsession unsettles him. He tries to watch the suspects’ match to pass the time, but Rose has his face smashed against the table thinking of a strategy, and Coffee is lightly dancing to an imaginary tune. So there’s not much for entertainment.

In his love of the game, Logico forgot that there are meant to be three suspects, and is startled when he bumps into someone behind a tree. Especially since that someone is Major Red!! He tries not to scream.

RED: What are you doing here… LOGICO: M-Murder.

Red tilts his head.

LOGICO: I meant solving! You KNOW I meant solving! Why are you hiding? You’re safe here! RED: …I wanted to try a game of chess. I’ve never played a ‘game’…

Logico facepalms at how tragically cliche that is, but understands his reasoning. 

Irratino has found something interesting finally. A horse is standing in the middle of the park. It’s just… standing there.

IRRATINO: H-Hello.

The horse snorts, but doesn’t move. What is it waiting for?

Being the Disney princess that he is, Irratino manages to coax it over to the chessboard where Coffee and Rose are bickering.

IRRATINO: Do you see the esoteric significance of this board placement?

The horse sticks its nose over to them, then exhales so hard that the pieces fall over.

ROSE: WHAT DID YOU DO??? THAT WAS GOING TO BE THE GREATEST ROUND EVER!! COFFEE: It’s okay. We can start another one! ROSE: NO WE CAN’T JUST ‘START ANOTHER ONE’!! I WAS WINNING!!

And Major Red used their unrest as the perfect distraction to get away with murder!

RED: I… was a fugitive, on the run. They’d never let me play chess… and I became enraged. LOGICO: Red, calm down… RED: There is only one thing for me to do now. LOGICO: No-

Red tries to fly away, but after all these years, he still hasn’t gotten used to the fact that that will never be a possibility. Stricken with grief, he runs, slowly, hindered by his stature. 

The end! 

You're a little bit of a drama queen, eh Red

Coffee and Rose are archrivals now, yippee!!

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

sorry if you’ve done anything similar to this, but what about HCs for getting wine drunk with the papas? could be spicy or silly! ty ty ilysm!

I need a little silly in my life, so I did some wine drunk shenanigans! Hope you enjoy! <3

Minor Tag Warning for Alcohol and Drunkeness

Reader Getting Wine Drunk with the Papas!! (Ambiguous relationship)

Papa Nihil: Nihil isn't a big wine drinker, but he won't say no to wine with dinner or a good movie. The easiest way to get him to want a wine is watching a movie while you eat some good old authentic italian pasta. Nihil claims he can't eat pasta without it! It's always a red wine and an older horror movie. You can't beat the classics! But you have a good time every time you get wine drunk. The wine turns you both in Mystery Science Theatre, and you do nothing but laugh and comment on any and everything about the movie! Sometimes the wine makes you do something crazy, like try to play a board game! But the night always ends the same. All the food and drinks gone and you both just chatting until you fall asleep. It's always safe and cozy, even when you wake up hung over. Though the wine is always blamed for when suddenly Nihil is getting billed for several new movie streaming services he can't remember signing up for.

Papa I: Neither of you were TRYING to become drunk. It started innocently enough! There had been too many complaints about the Unholy Communion wines tasting awful. The Siblings of Sin were not shy in requesting something more decadent and easier to stomach. You and Papa, on your insistence, decided to find something to start using Clergy wide. In your mind it was a fun time to try all the fancy drinks with your favorite person! Papa was more happy to indulge you and just wanted to solve this as quickly as possible. But you are a bad influence. Convincing him it was a waste to do a traditional wine tasting! So after many glasses neither of you found the perfect communion wine... instead you found yourselves laughing on his couch. Trying to have unserious philosophical discussions through slurred speech. Papa admits it's the type of fun he needs outside of his brooding and serious ministry duties. Imagine your surprise when he invites you over again. This time to share a bottle just for you two!

Papa II: You were never a big wine drinker until you became close to the second Emeritus. Papa has the most well stocked wine cellar you have ever seen! Many people forget that under his classy and collected exterior is a man who loves to party! Or at least unwind and let go. So every once in a while he will ask you to pick something for dinner, or if you just want to sit and drink with him. Most of the time it's in his music room where you put in vinyls and just sink into the expensive sofa. You find he's much more talkative when properly drunk, and more willing to have fun. There have been many times Papa has decided that being drunk is the perfect time to teach you how to dance! You've fallen a few times, but both of you always laugh it off and go back to finding a good song to listen to! You always enjoy the looser side of Papa! The man who drunkingly explains the rise and fall of the Beatles in the music industry. Or he enjoys the way you cried once because you found your favorite song on one of his albums, and insisted he put it on repeat.

Papa III: Now THIS is when you both get the best gossiping time! It's actually a biweekly ritual you two share when you both have the time! Wine bottles out, the charcuterie boards full, and both of you ready to blow off steam! Life is so stressful, so why not find time to have a good wine with the best company? It always starts the same. One of you raging about the current annoyance in your life, and the other popping open a cork and pouring your glasses full. It usually starts with both of you venting, to both of you chatting, to both of you laughing your asses off about nothing. Sometimes you get drunken ideas, like rearranging the furniture that neither of you can move! Other times you decide you need a late night take out run (DRIVEN BY A GHOUL OF COURSE) and come back with bags full of fast food. This last time you both woke up to Papa's closet sloppily 'organized'. the only clue being a Marie Kondo video on your phone, and all of his socks in a basket. It's always in good fun!

Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: When it comes to wine, you and Copia always promise yourselves 'one glass'. But sometimes, you just need a whole bottle or two. You both agreed it's not that you NEED wine to unwind; but it's nice to indulge once in a while. So the times you do get drunk off of wine, it's planned and thought out. Copia will select the best bottles he can for the night, and you get the best dinner or snacks to pair with it. You always do a quick glass cheers to each other and have at it! Like with Terzo, sometimes you just need to gossip or vent. Other times it's to unwind and NOT think about the day. Others it's to celebrate and find something fun to do! You've both woken up from your two person party wearing expensive lamp shades! This is one of the few times you both get into mischief together! Terrorizing the gardens at night, or finding your way into Copia's office to fuck around with his paper work. Anything to keep you two occupied! Your favorite time so far had been turning his office into a miniature club with strobe lights and his lava lamp collection. You were both pretty bewildered when you saw the mess you made the next day!

[wowstrawberrycow]

Questions from the question game!

- Do you believe in love at first sight?

- What’s a story you always want to tell, but never get to?

Do you believe in love at first sight?

I am of the belief that nothing is truly impossible across the board. Even if you can't prove it or disprove it, it could be real to someone either in their imagination or to their own life experience. So, going by this logic yes I believe Love at first sight could be real to someone. In a very literal sense, love at first sight could be a subconscious phenomenon that starts as a small interest and leads to a happily ever after. Though that does beg the question of how you define what true love feels like upon seeing??? First you literally have to look at someone anyway and say "hey, I want that." Then you go for it and the one that lands is the one for you. no hate to the poly people. You count too with the same principal. If you think of it in a literal sense it happens daily. Plus, the Disney princess in me absolutely will throw a bitch fit if I say no to this question. 🤣 Am I making any sense here at all??

What’s a story you always want to tell, but never get to?

Ok so, for y'all who have been following me for a while, y'all know my style is typically cute and fun. My shippy fanfiction and Rps are typically emotional or very cute/sweet in nature. But…. What I really want is to write a cryptic cosmic horror story that will be confusing and disturb all who lay their eyes upon it. For all the adorableness that I have created I can 100% say, yes, I do in fact have a mind for horror too. I have an OC named Dave. He's been sent to the most ecologically diverse island in the world to do government research on plant life. His main goal is to discover the ways to sustainably use plants to cleanse the water without chemicals. There was a new species of algae discovered on this tropical island that may be the answer. however upon arrival he is treated to a ghostly dirty city with hardly anyone walking the streets. it's a waste land. he was assigned a small apparent crawling with spy tech and his only communication with his employer is a cell phone he revived via entry of the island. his apartment is raided, he hand cuffed and blind folded before being knocked out. He wakes up in a paradise in the center of the island where the diversity is rich and lush. scientists of this region all were strange possibly religious symptoms on their lab coats and indoctrinated him into their cult against his will!! This has technological black magic, creature cults, secret world government plots and Eldritch gods!!! I want Dave's mind to completely unravel into total utter madness as he attempts to solve these mysteries!!! His sanity will not longer be with him by the end! laughs maniacally

The duality of my brain is a funny thing 💕 On one side you have purest sugary sweetness and the other side is well. that up there!🌈

[sburbian-sage]

so i was gonna send this in last night but i decided to wait so i could proof read it and what not and now here i am basically re writing it

so first things first im gonna need you to have an open mind please, everything im about to say is gonna sound like bullshit, utter complete fucking bullshit and even if you dont believe me its still true because sburbs bullshittery seemingly knows no fucking bounds

there is currently a fucking massive void vessel above the session, like it vanishes into the ring on both sides and im sure it keeps going, brilliant white with leaf green highlights

was gathering some grist and it just fucking teleported it or some shit cause one second it wasn't there and then it was and it scared the fuck out of me

i spoke with the plant chick last night and while i learned some things it clearly wasn't enough because what the fuck is this?!

im hiding out of derse now and its just empty, there's no more of the little Carapacians, the 5 of our lands are also gone and i can see smaller ships going around frantically scanning local space so i assume they know i happened to get off land before it was taken (how do you take an entire land?!?!)

but before i get murderharvested or some shit here's what i was able to figure out

i managed to nab one of her computers and found that their language is seemingly similar to old alternian standard but it doesn't match to English at all and is more flowy? than jagged, as well as the letters seemingly having 2-5 characters stacked on one another, far beyond my translation capabilities

when i asked the difference between sessions she just said that there was less bees (what???)

didn't have enough time to see any structural changes from normal, other than more plants and things being kinda taller

when i asked culture questions she just laughed, called me a "curious cutie" (not sure i like how i feel about that) and said id learn soon which like FUCK ME was that a red flag apparently

not sure what to do anymore, im a rogue of void for fucks sake and even turning into nothing isn't enough to shake them, they find me within an hour and i have to flee, managed to pull off that teleportation trick that the other poster talked about but even that doesn't shake them, sending this out and then ill start moving again

ill keep in touch if i stay alive

I WAS JOKING. I WAS MAKING A JOKE WHEN I SUGGESTED SHE WAS TRYING TO CONTACT HOME BASE TO BOMB YOU GUYS TO OBLIVION AND DO GIGA-SPACE-COLONIALISM. I WASN'T MAKING A PREDICTION. FUCK.

And you are right, this does kinda sound like bullshit. There's mild precedent here, in that it is technically theoretically possible that before Entry happens and SBURB fucks an entire planet in half, that some of said homeworld's inhabitants might have boarded a ship, went into space, and managed to enter the Furthest Ring. I mean, that would require incredible foresight, highly advanced technology, surviving long enough despite the fact that the game is literally designed to kill non-players in the most ass-pull deus ex machina fashion possible, and that it is virtually impossible to enter the Furthest Ring without a Bargain. So it's a bit like sending Frosty the Snowman to the Sahara Desert to win a gladiator competition, and once he wins he has to do round two against a flamethrower squadron. Which is to say, I'll eat my own legs before I believe that you're being invaded by The Imperium of Man meets the fucking Vegandon from Johnny Test. Among the thousands of other severe questions this raises.

But on the off-chance that this isn't just a prank, here's my equally low-effort advice.

Running may not be able to solve your problems. You are a Rogue of Void who can teleport. This makes you THE most qualified person to break into their ship and sabotage the engines so shit explodes.

Running may be able to solve your problems. If you survive long enough, SBURB might suddenly remember that it's supposed to kill non-SBURB non-player entities, and so the flowery ground troopers might start tripping and shooting themselves in the fall, or the ship explodes anyway.

Threaten to Scratch the Session to get them to back off. It's basically the mother of all "I'm taking you all with me" threats, considering it will rewrite reality.

Actually, they might not know enough about the Scratch for that to intimidate them. Scratch anyway. Fuck these guys, they'll never suspect it and an alt-universe version of you gets the last laugh.

If they corner you, start coughing on them. If you win re-enacting the ending of War of the Worlds, that would be incredibly funny.