#and why he's be able to experience any sort of attraction only towards the one person who makes him feel stuff

[cris-doing-cris-things]

It really says a lot, considering that he didn't cry over seeing charred corpses of people who raised him for 19 years, Obi-Wan's death and all other fucked up shit happening to him all at once Not to mention that Luke is generally a low-emoting guy, who feels a lot, but rarely shows it in any strong obvious way (crying, bursting out in a laugh, yelling), he only sits sad, chuckles and sometimes raises his voice slightly because he's annoyed, he's overall such a mild guy His father is the only one who's able to provoke emotions this strong in him

[thetempleofthemasaigoddess]

Helping Kid lose his virginity and him developing feelings for you would involve… (part 1)

Virgin!Eustass Kid x courtesan!crewmate!reader. This is part one of two.

*****

🔥 Eustass Kid has never cared about sex.

🔥 If asked, he wouldn’t be able to explain why exactly; it’s simply something he has always been indifferent towards, just like he has never had any interest in learning to play an instrument, or in devoting his life to any path other than piracy. He has never experienced the desire for a partner, whether for companionship, affection or simply desire; love is a word he doesn’t even know the meaning of, and he has always thought relationships are a waste of time and energy that might be better employed otherwise. Kid knows most of the adults in his crew have sex at least semi-regularly -whether among them, with prostitutes and one-night-stands they meet in some random city, or with the civilians of the island that serves as their base- but he never longed to do the same himself, content with his own company and the platonic closeness of his crew.   

🔥 Essentially, he doesn’t feel any need, any pulsion like the ones he has seen so many people fall prey to or let control their life. He occasionally gets erections, usually in the morning or, even more rarely, in other moments, but never in response to some particular thought or fantasy he had, or because someone he has seen has attracted his attention. Whenever that happens, he takes care of the problem in the privacy of his own cabin or whatever other closed space he can find, quickly, dispassionately, feeling a brief moment of fleeting pleasure he then dismisses to focus on whatever other task is at hand. 

🔥 Kid has never cared about his looks, but he knows no one would ever describe his face as handsome, and that he looks more menacing than attractive, which is something he’s quite proud of; he usually only needs to glare at anyone whose presence annoys him for them to scuttle away. He is a strong, infamous pirate, the captain of a powerful crew; who cares if his ugly mug looks like something out of a nightmare, and children start to cry if they only meet his gaze? Piracy is no beauty contest after all, and a pretty face has never protected anyone from being caught by the Marines or vanquished by a rival crew.

🔥 Surprisingly, people do find him attractive occasionally. Kid knows there are people who are attracted to pirates the way others are to celebrities, maybe for some sort of fascination with danger and power. A few times some tavern wenches have flirted with him, and one, no doubt inebriated to the point it had dampened her survival instinct, even pushed him against a wall and kissed him - to which Kid, after a moment of stupefaction, reacted grabbing the woman’s throat tight enough to almost crush her windpipe. “Touch me again and I’ll snap your neck.” he warned before letting her go, and the woman literally ran out of the room. The episode, ten whole seconds of it, disgusted him in a way Kid couldn’t fully explain; if kissing felt like this, he reasoned, he much preferred focusing on piracy and battle rather than romance, thank you very much. 

🔥 So here he is, twenty-one years old, still a virgin, with less experience in matters of sex and romance than many preadolescents. He has never reflected that his situation might be unusual or something to be embarrassed about, especially for a pirate and a captain at that, until one night Kid meets with a few other pirate captains in a bar. The men are more acquaintances than friends or allies, but they and their crews are powerful enough to have earned Kid’s grudging respect - a rare honour indeed; they are all several years or even decades older. The beer flows freely, and after a while the discussion shifts from maps and treasures and those blasted Marines, to a dramatically different topic - conquests, the amorous kind. The captains boast about the number of their past partners, their prowess as lovers, even the age they lost their virginity at. The longer the discussion goes on, the more outlandish the stories become: one swears to have seduced a Marine admiral, another to have slept with three siblings at the same time… there’s even a captain who boasts to have fucked his way out of Impel Down.

🔥 Completely uninterested, Kid nurses his beer, thoughts focused on a map he had hoped to obtain from another of the captains; he is about to pull the man aside, when suddenly the others realise he hasn’t said a word in almost an hour. “What about you, Kid? Someone on your crew warming your bed?” “Do you have a girl or a guy waiting for you on your island?” “What sort of person do you like?” they ask, with a curiosity Kid finds completely uncalled for. He shrugs and, blissfully unaware of the shitpile his sincerity will cause, answers truthfully: that he doesn’t have a lover, he never had one, and honestly he has never cared about sex and relationships and all that crap. 

🔥 The others stare as if he had claimed to be Gold Roger reincarnated; silence has fallen in the usually noisy bar. “Are you saying… that you are a virgin?” “Yeah, why?” Kid asks, still in the dark… and then the whole table -the whole room, it seems- erupts in a loud, choral laugh - not about a joke that has been just said, but about him. “I can’t believe it! Are you serious? You’ve never been with anyone?! What a laugh!” “What’s wrong, Kid? You can’t get it up? At your age?” “I never pegged you as the shy type!” 

🔥 Kid is so flabbergasted it takes him a moment to realise what is happening. They are making fun of him -something no one in the world has ever dared since he was maybe twelve, and still scrawny for his age- laughing at his perceived weakness and inability to attract a mate. At first he tries to explain that his virginity is a deliberate choice -he is simply not interested in having a lover, preferring to focus his time and energy on piracy and the annihilation of his enemies, he could find someone to sleep with if he wished to- but the others don’t listen, and keep laughing, and laughing; other pirates and even civilian clients of the bar approach, and are told the story, and join in the mocking.

🔥 Kid’s temples are pulsating; part of him is still unbelieving this is really happening. The other men are also powerful pirate captains, but don’t they know who he is, and what he is wont to do to anyone who disrespects him? He killed his first man when he was only fourteen! He vanquished a ten-ship fleet because the commander had expressed doubts -out loud, unfortunately for him- that a man as young as him actually deserved his high bounty! How dare those bastards make fun of him, and call his-his masculinity in question? He could have sex if he wanted to, all the sex he wants! 

🔥 The laughs continue, unheeding of his awkward attempts to explain, and Kid feels like he’s floundering, at the mercy of waves he can’t swim through. What’s worse is that he can feel himself blushing -it’s not his fault! He’s a redhead, for God’s sake, he blushes easily! It’s not like he’s embarrassed…!- unable to retaliate in kind against the teasing he’s receiving. “What’s wrong, Kid? Are you still waiting for your true love?” the men joke “Or do you go soft before you get to put it in?” “Come on, guys, the poor boy is simply too shy, leave him be…”

🔥 In the end Kid uses his fists to shut them up; a brawl erupts, and Kid holds his own against half a dozen opponents. In the end the other captains shut up and promise to never broach the subject again, but he can see they are still thinking about it, smiling amused as soon as they think he can’t see them. “You know, Kid, if you need us to… introduce you to someone, we’d be happy to help. There’s nothing shameful about being shy, especially at your age.” one of them offers kindly, which only serves to deepen the humiliation Kid is feeling. “I am not shy! And I don’t need any help from you bastards!” he says, and leaves the bar without having discussed the map he was so interested in. 

🔥 What was meant to be a relaxing, even pleasant night of drink and talk ended up being the most humiliating experience of his life; Kid knocked around those bastards who laughed about him and called him shy -he! Shy!- but it didn’t make him feel better, since he knows they will continue making fun of him in his absence, and even spread the word among other crews. Eustass Kid is still a virgin, can you believe it? Poor boy probably doesn’t even know how to talk to someone he likes, let alone bring them to his bed… This is what they will say, and this disgraceful reputation will follow him wherever he goes. 

🔥 Part of the fault is his, Kid has to admit; what was he thinking, discussing such a private matter, and openly acknowledging his own shortcoming, with others outside his crew? Even he, who never gave a shit about sex, should have known the others would mock him for it. Unfortunately it’s too late to take back his words; on the other hand, he reflects as he stomps across the harbour in the direction of his ship, almost wishing someone would try and pick a fight so that he can blow off some steam beating them to a pulp, there is another way to make up for his mistake, and regain the respect of his peers…

🔥 “So yeah, I need to have sex; at least once, just to know what all the fuss is about and prove to the others I am not a failure or unable to-to perform.” he says the next day as he and Killer are together in the captain’s cabin. They have spent an hour discussing the ship’s course, the provisions to buy to restock the pantry, the need to appropriately castigate a rival crew that has started throwing their weight around on an island part of the Kid Pirates’ territories and other serious matters, but the first mate could see the captain’s mind was elsewhere. He has asked him, and Kid promptly emptied the tank about the way the other captains had made fun of his virginity. “The problem is, who with? I don’t want to just go to some brothel and pay a few hundred berry to the first prostitute available. Any dipshit can do that; it has to count, you know?” 

🔥 Killer nods slowly, his expression vaguely amused behind his mask. “You know there’s nothing shameful about being a virgin; and it’s not like you to care about what others think.” he points out, and Kid grunts in reticent agreement. The truth is, he is pretty confident in his strength and in that of his crew, which are at least on par with those of the most famous pirates in the world; but this sex thing is different. In this, he is shamefully at a disadvantage, completely in the dark regarding a topic most men his age know well. This is what frustrates him: for a man so proud of his reputation, being belittled and ridiculed about something he objectively lacks in respect to others is absolutely unbearable. He needs to regain his honor, which means losing his virginity in a way that he can boast about to the other captains, who will then respect him again as one of them. 

🔥 But how? The truth is, there is no one he is even vaguely interested in, not to mention that he doesn’t want the wrong sort of gossip to spread over the Sea, should he not… perform well on his first time. It is humiliating to even just consider the option, and Kid is not usually a man who doubts his abilities, but even he knows a person’s sexual debut can be awkward and less than perfect, especially when their theoretical knowledge is lacking at best as in his case, and he doesn’t want the other captains to learn that he underperformed. Whoever his first partner will be, he needs to make sure they will keep their mouth shut…

🔥 Killer has listened to Kid without commenting for a while. “Maybe there’s another possibility.” he offers in the end “You could ask (name).”, and at those words Kid actually stops mid-rant, and reflects.

🔥 (name). In other words, you.

🔥 The idea is reasonable, for more than one reason. First of all, since you are a member of his crew, a person whose loyalty he has already had the chance to appreciate, Kid is confident you will keep the matter to yourself if asked, in order not to have the whole crew gossip about his sex life and previous state of tardive virginity. Also, he suddenly realises, you are the only person he knows for whom sex has been not only a personal matter, but a professional one as well. 

🔥 After reflecting on it for a while, Kid decides to follow Killer’s advice and discuss the matter with you; he arranges for you to be on guard duty on the bridge that night, so that you’ll be alone, and then approaches, resting his back against the ship’s side as he meets your eyes, arms to his chest. “You were a prostitute once, right?” he asks, bluntly as is his wont. If you are surprised your captain chose the middle of the night for a chat, and by the topic he chose to address, you don’t let it on. “The correct term is courtesan, not prostitute, but I guess the essence is the same.” you concede, not at all bothered or upset “I worked in a pleasure house for several years.” “And… were you good?” “Let’s put it this way: do you remember your first bounty, captain? That, at the peak of my career, would have been enough to pay for a night in my bed. Just a night, for a… standard service.” you explain, and Kid can’t help feeling impressed.

🔥 “Why did you leave it, if you were so successful?” he asks, and you explain that you were actually forced to leave, after killing a client who had tried taking from you more than you were willing to give - and not pay for it. Unfortunately, the man was a relative of the city’s lord, so you had to run in order not to be put to death; you were travelling to another, far away country, planning on finding another pleasure house to work in, until the day you found yourself caught up in a bar brawl. 

🔥 Kid doesn’t need to be reminded of that part of the story; he and his crew were at that very bar, and then suddenly a group of pirates had assaulted a single, apparently inoffensive woman, who then proceeded to beat the crap out of half a dozen opponents, all on her own, barely breaking a sweat. Kid recruited you on the spot, and you have been part of the crew ever since. “May I ask why the sudden interest, captain?” you politely inquire, and Kid sighs, privately admitting you have a right to ask, and feeling uncomfortable nonetheless. 

🔥 “You can’t tell anyone, alright? No one in the world, neither within this crew nor outside. I am not joking, (name); if you blab about this to anyone, I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” “I won’t tell anyone, captain; you have my word. So… what did you want to talk about?” you ask, and Kid is suddenly grateful the night is pitch black, no trace of stars above you, because the darkness hides the furious blush on his face. Stammering a bit, for maybe the first time in his life, he tells you about his problem, and no amount of darkness could conceal the astonishment on your expression; you stare at him, flabbergasted, until Kid brusquely orders you to close your mouth. “I’m sorry, I… I am just surprised. I never thought you would be interested… and you want me for your first time? Captain, I… I don’t know what to say. I am very flattered…”

🔥 That last word makes an alarm bell sound in Kid’s mind; and it is his impression, or suddenly you are blushing as well?  “Don’t start getting ideas, alright? This is not… it’s nothing personal; I’m asking you because this is a business you know, having done it before, and I can trust you’ll keep your mouth shut. We’ll do it, I’ll pay you what you want, and never speak of it again.” he says, feeling, for some reason, the need to make things clear “And… you can say no, if you want. I know I’m your captain and all, but… in this, you are free to refuse, no repercussions. It’s a business deal, nothing more.”

🔥 A moment of stillness follows, the gentle murmuring of the waves surrounding you. “I see.” you answer, your voice devoid of any emotion “Well, this is a part of my life I thought I was done with, but I guess there would be nothing wrong with it. And I agree it’s better if we keep it secret, especially from the crew. So, uhm, shall I come to your cabin?”

🔥 Kid hadn’t expected you to propose you immediately get to work, even though, he has to admit, it makes sense not to waste time. A surge of panic, akin to nothing he has ever felt in battle, against the strongest enemies or when it seemed his chance of survival were almost nil, fills him; he is not ready! He needs some time to… well, to prepare. Kid knows sex is not a mission one needs to plan in advance, or an exam for which to study, but he is not walking into this without having taken some time to decide what to do. Consequently, he tells you it’s better to wait for the ship to reach its next destination: you’ll meet in an inn in whatever town you harbour at, so that none of your crewmates suspects what you are up to. You nod, admitting his alternative makes sense. “Then… I’ll wait for you to tell me when and where, shall I? I will do my best for it to be good for you, captain.”

🔥 Kid mumbles that it’s fine, he doesn’t need it to be memorable as long as he knows how it feels, and no one else can make fun of him anymore. He lingers in front of you for a moment more, before realising he should let you return to your duties. “‘night.” “Goodnight, captain; I’ll see you soon.” you say, and there’s no particular feeling in your voice, no hidden meaning in that simple promise, but Kid feels the need to close the conversation as soon as possible. He grunts, turns, and quickly walks away, not needing to look behind him to know you are still staring at his retreating form. 

🔥 All things considered, Kid reflects once he has returned to the privacy of his cabin, it went well; you didn’t make fun of the fact a man his age is still a virgin -not that he feared you would; even his closest crewmembers know disrespecting the captain is the easiest way to be beaten to a pulp and then thrown overboard, and moreover, you simply are not that type of person- you accepted his proposal, and you decided when and how meet. The navigator told him it will take a couple of days to reach the next island, so he has all the time to - to psychologically prepare for his task; he knows you will keep your mouth shut, and he doesn’t feel like he has something to prove, but he doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t even know how sex works.

🔥 Because he does. Of course he knows, he’s a pirate for God’s sake! And yes, he’s never done it before, but shouldn’t sex be something people simply know how to do, instinctively? How difficult can it be?

🔥 He should feel relieved that the first part of his mission was successful, and he is. On the other hand, Kid spends the next two days prey of a rising, mounting anxiety, counting the days and then the hours separating him from the moment the two of you will meet to suit the action to the word. He’s even more irascible than usual, so much that the others start wondering whether their captain is worried or angry about something; Killer, who has been informed of his and your plans, sighs and points out it’s not fair of Kid to take his frustration out on the crew. “You know, it will probably be pleasant, very much so if (name) is as… talented as she claims to be; why don't you just relax?” his first mate and partner proposes, and he’s right, Kid has to admit, but the advice doesn’t make him feel better: his planned meeting with you attracts and scares him at the same time, something he can’t wait to experience and, at the same time, he has to stop himself from cancelling.

🔥 During those two days, every time his path meets yours, you simply smile and say “Hello, captain.” the way you always had, which is good, because the last thing Kid wants is for the rest of the crew to perceive some weird tension or secret between the two of you. At the same time he is sure, sure enough to swear his life on it, there’s something different in the way you look at him, or in how at times you touch his arm to attract his attention -something that has never bothered him before- that wasn’t there before; an intention, an unsaid promise, as if your hand had gotten warmer against his skin, or your eyes communicated a message without the need for words. Kid does his best to act normally, with the others and especially in your presence, but he not always can; specifically, at times, when he sees you walk briskly across the deck, or sitting at a table in the mess hall as you play cards with the others, he has started wondering how your body looks under your clothes.

🔥 Finally, the ship drops anchor at the harbour of a large town. Kid wanders around on his own for a while, finds the perfect spot -a small, out-of-the-way inn on the outskirts, the sort of place where no one pays too much attention to the other guests and their business- and rents a room for the night. “Make sure it’s clean.” he adds menacingly, for some reason he doesn’t really know himself, and the innkeeper assures him it will be done. Kid returns to the ship, discreetly reaches the cabin you share with the other women and slips a piece of paper under your pillow, with the time and place for your appointment. From now on, changing his mind and forgetting the whole thing will be impossible; Kid sighs, and then steers himself for what is to come.

🔥 “You know, you should take a bath; no woman wants to touch a man who is covered in grime and smells like a dumpster.” Killer, who seems to find the whole matter highly amusing, suggests later, and Kid mumbles that he doesn’t smell, and in any case he is not going on a date with his girlfriend, he has no intention to doll up to impress you, since you have seen him bleeding and sweating a thousand times already, but he does take a bath, and changes his clothes. “Have fun!” Killer wishes him, and Kid groans, already fed up.

🔥 He leaves for the inn with plenty of time to spare, preferring to arrive at the room first and then get settled, but mid-way he stops at a bar and drinks, trying not to think about why he’s doing it. Liquid courage, they call it; Kid always thought he had plenty of it, but today he stands corrected. By the time he finally reaches the room he’s still early, and he does feel a little better; he opens the door… and freezes.

🔥 “Hello.” you murmur, smiling at him. You are lying on the bed, the sheet pulled up to your shoulders but thin enough Kid can easily see you are naked under it, and the shape of your body; you came early too, no doubt because you wanted to surprise him -or who knows, maybe because you couldn’t wait for what you are about to do…- and unforeseen circumstances are something Kid usually dislikes, but this time… this time he can’t help feeling happy, even thrilled, as he looks at you, now sitting on the bed, as you invite him to approach with your hand. “Why don’t we get a little more comfortable? You can take your clothes off, if you want. Shall I… help you?”

🔥 Kid has suddenly realised he is not ready to have you touch him. “I can do it by myself.” he mumbles as he starts taking his coat off, and a couple minutes later he’s naked save for his briefs. He slowly walks to the bed, sits by your side, and feels himself blushing as he notices the appreciative look you are casting him, shamelessly focused on the bulge under his navel. He is hard, seriously hard, for the first time in his life due to something real rather than some vague desire or involuntary blood flow; he wants you, he realises with a shiver, he really and deeply does… and he can’t wait to see what you have in store for him.

🔥 “You are very handsome, you know.” “Don’t be daft, not even my mother has ever called my ugly mug handsome.” Kid defends himself, suddenly nervous; the only compliments he has ever been paid regard his strength and ferocity, or his high bounty, but this feels different - more personal, more intimate, and he doesn’t know how to react. It does feel good, in a way, but at the same time, he can’t help feeling weak for it… “You must think I’m an idiot, still a virgin at my age.” “Not at all; one can be too young, but never too old for sex.” you reassure him “I was a little surprised to know this was to be your first time, but I guess you have always been more interested in piracy and in becoming stronger than in finding a partner, haven’t you? So… how would you like to do this? We can talk for a while, if you want, or we could discuss what you’d like to do and prefer to avoid; nothing you tell me will leave this room, you have my word.”

🔥 Kid knows he can trust you, and discussing boundaries and preferences does seem reasonable. Nevertheless, the last thing he feels like doing is chatting; from his position by your side, he can see the shape of your breast under the sheet, your erect nipples visible through the fabric, and the view is making him almost unable to swallow. What is happening to him, all of a sudden? This feels weird; his whole body is reacting to your presence, and you haven’t even touched each other yet. His rationality is slipping, the same impulses he so often deprecated in others taking over; he is no longer in control, of the events and of himself, and the thought is terrifying and humiliating, but he can’t help letting himself go…

🔥 “Kid? Is everything alright?” “Yeah, sure. I was just thinking…” Kid hesitates for a moment more; his ideas regarding sex are vague at best, but even he knows what the best way of starting is… “We can… I mean, is it alright if we k-kiss? You can still say no, you know.” he makes clear. As you discussed already this is just business, not a relationship or any other thing involving feelings, but he’s determined not to do anything that would make you uncomfortable. Kid doubts you have liked every person who has paid to have sex with you, but this is different - he is different, or at least he plans on being. He waits, almost holding your breath, and sees you smile happily. “I thought you’d never ask.”

🔥 Kissing it’s weird. Weird and awkward, at first, like being forced in a dance he doesn’t know the steps of, his mouth and yours meeting again and again, and he instinctively tries too hard until you whisper “Ssh, it’s fine, take your time.” and he wants to answer but he can’t, because no matter how strange it does feel good, no, it feels amazing, and he’s already breathing hard as he feels your lips, silk-soft and warm, caress his. A moment later you slip your tongue in his mouth and Kid groans, a loud, uncontrolled sound expressing an emotion he thought himself unable to experience: lust.

🔥 He kisses you back, finally finding the rhythm as his tongue meets yours, and when he feels you moan his large, powerful body shivers; his heart is pounding, hot blood running in his veins, and his mind is filled with lurid images he can’t wait to turn into reality. The kiss lasts until you are both gasping for breath. Kid has closed his eyes without realising, and when he opens them, he sees you smile, looking like the cat who got the cream. “So? How was it, captain?” you ask licking your lips, and Kid groans in response before kissing you again .

🔥 You kiss some more, and Kid is already sure he’ll never get enough of it until the sheet covering you slips away, you move to straddle him, and suddenly he’s holding your naked body in his arms. Kid has never been this close to a woman, and he gulps, having blushed again. You smile, and “It’s alright; you can look at me, and touch me, if you want.” you say gently, and he wonders if perceiving what he was too embarrassed to ask for is an ability you have acquired during your past as a pr- as a courtesan or it’s due to the years you have spent as crewmates, but he doesn’t ask, too busy as he is drinking avidly in the view offered to his eyes. The mere sight of your breasts is enough to make his mouth water, and then his eyes slip downwards, towards your core, and Kid forgets how to breathe. 

🔥 He is hesitant as he starts touching you, despite your explicit consent afraid he might hurt you or doing something unpleasant; nobody better than him knows how strong you are, so it’s not like he’s going to kill you just squeezing you a little too harshly, but he’s terrified you might change your mind. Once more, you seem to understand why he’s hesitating, because a moment later you have taken his large, strong hands in yours, and are guiding them in exploring his skin and flesh. “Touch me.” you murmur; you are being kind and patient in your role as teacher and helper, but even Kid in his ignorance can see you are sincerely enjoying what you are living together; you want him, you really do, your desire intense enough for your eyes to burn with it “Fuck… Kid, touch me please, I need to feel you…”

🔥 You rarely swear, which fills Kid with a sort of pride he had never experienced before. He grins to himself as he shapes your body under his hands, like a sculptor moulding clay, and your skin, warm and smooth, is the most beautiful thing he has ever touched, including the scars and half-healed wounds memento of some past battle; he lowers his face to kiss them, and he kisses your breast, deliciously soft under his tongue, and you moan, holding his head in your hands. “Oh, God, Kid…” you cry, pronouncing both names with the same worshipful intention “Oh, yes, darling, don’t stop…” 

🔥 Darling. No one had ever called him that, unless it happened when he was very young, but he likes it, he likes it very much, so much that kissing is no longer enough. He is harder than ever before, painfully constricted in his black briefs, and no matter how deliciously pleasant -how sweet; God, is this the first time he describes something as such, even in the privacy of his thoughts?- it is to feel your skin under his mouth, he wants more…

🔥 This time, rather than stopping what the two of you are doing to ask, Kid decides to act; he wraps his arm around your waist to pull you closer, and he hears you moan, your hips moving as you begin rubbing yourself against his turgor. “Oh, God…” “Feels good?” Kid asks, just to hear you say it rather than because he has reason to doubt, and grins when he sees you nod, and whisper that yes, it feels so good, and you can’t wait to see him and feel him inside you, and well, few would describe Eustass Kid as a generous man, but this time at least he il willing to satisfy your request. 

🔥 The desire roaring in his stomach notwithstanding, Kid feels himself grow tense once a new kiss has pushed him on his back, and he feels your fingertips brush against his waistline. He wants you to touch him, he does so much it’s driving him crazy, and he also knows you are not going to hurt him, but he can’t help it, because no one has ever known him so genuinely, beyond the infamous reputation and the power and the danger. He has completely lowered his defenses for you, letting you see him as intimately as no one has ever done before, and the thought is terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.  

🔥 You meet his gaze, and after Kid nods in assent you delicately free him from his briefs, exposing his hard cock, proudly erect. “Fuck. It’s so beautiful…” “Is… is it?” “Of course it is, Kid; it’s beautiful, big and strong, exactly as you are.” you assure him, and for a moment Kid can’t help wondering whether you’ve seen better, and bigger, during your years at the pleasure house, but that incertitude lasts only for a moment, because you are now sitting on his lap, slowly pumping his shaft before impaling yourself on it, and Kid can’t help but stare as your body swallows his, the friction eliciting a pain he is forced to bite his lip not to express, but it feels good, it feels better than anything he has ever thought could exist, good enough he might lose his mind for it. He grabs your hips as you begin moving above him, the room filled with the lurid sound of your flesh slapping against his. “Don’t stop.” he growls, and you nod, your face an image of pleasure and lust that takes his breath away.

🔥 He wakes up with a start soon after dawn, for a moment confused about his whereabouts, and then disappointment fills him as he realises the other half of the bed is empty; Kid quickly dresses himself and returns to the ship. 

🔥 “So? How did it go?” Killer discreetly asks when captain and first mate meet on the bridge; Kid grunts in reply, unwilling to share the events of last night, even with his most trusted crewmate. “It went alright; we did what we had to.” he succinctly says before walking away. He spends the day taking care of various tasks, not fully sure of what he feels. On one side, he’s satisfied the matter is closed, he is no longer a virgin and doesn’t need to worry to be mocked again by the other captains again; on the other, he can’t help feeling unsatisfied, not by your rapport itself, which was all that he had hoped for and then some, rather by the fact that it will not happen again. 

🔥 Or will it?

🔥 You and Kid stay clear of each other during the day, both of you making sure the rest of the crew has no reason to suspect something unusual has happened between you. But it has, it definitely has, and Kid can’t believe until twenty-four hours ago he thought a single time would be enough, and he wouldn’t leave that bed you had shared wanting for more. And he does, he does so much it feels it gnawing at him, and he feels himself growling every time he sees one of your crewmates platonically patting your back or touching your hands with theirs as you form a chain to carry parcels on board. He has no right to ask more of you, not when your initial arrangement implicitly stated you would only have sex once, but he can’t help it. Last night’s memories -the silky softness of your skin; the warmth of your kisses; the lovely sound of your voice moaning his name in a never-ending litany… how tight you felt around his cock…- keep filling his mind every time he catches a glimpse of you on the bridge or as you have lunch with the others in the mess hall, and he’s quite sure no man has ever died for lack of sex, but he can’t deny this is exactly what he feels like…

🔥 Duties on the ship are rigorously divided and scheduled, but Kid has Killer task you with arranging the supplies bought that day in the ship’s small storage room, after dinner; the first mate complies, even though “You know.” he points out gently “You can simply go to her and talk, without the need for subterfuge.”. Kid privately agrees, but he prefers not to risk being seen or heard by others; later, once the rest of the crew has gone to bed except for the men keeping watch on the bridge, he meets you in the storage room, as you neatly arrange the parcels’ content on the shelves. You don’t seem surprised to see him. “I knew you would come see me. Is… is everything alright? I’m sorry if it wasn’t as good as you hoped, the first time can be a bit awkward…” Kid shakes his head, mumbling that had he something to complain, he would have done it already. He wishes he could ask if it was good for you as well, if he was able to give you pleasure despite his lack of experience, but he’s too proud to. 

🔥 “I haven’t paid you yet.” he points out, and you shake your head gently before answering that you could never accept any payment from him, since what you did was a favour to a crewmate rather than a job, and in any case… “In any case what?” “Well, I must admit I… I had forgotten how sweet it could feel; I don’t know whether it was because we knew each other or because you are an extremely handsome man, but… well, I think last night was one of the best of my life. I really mean it.”

🔥 So you did like it! And, as incredible as it sounds, you find him attractive! Emboldened, Kid takes your hand to pull you to him, holding you close enough to feel your body shiver at the contact. “What do you say we repeat the experience then?” he asks, and he sees you beam. “I was hoping you’d ask.” You walk to Kid’s cabin together, and “We need to be very quiet, lest the others…” you begin, and then Kid is kissing you before the door closes behind you; clothes start falling to the floor, and Kid slips his hand to cup your core, eliciting a moan his mouth is quick to swallow. “This time I want to stay on top.” Kid murmurs in your ear, and you hurry to nod, an adoring smile in your eyes. “Everything you want.” you murmur, pressing yourself against his body, already rock-hard “Do whatever you want to me, captain, I promise I won’t say no.”

🔥 It’s a sort of promise few men would be able to resist, and Kid doesn’t even try; he manages to control himself just long enough to have your body naked in front of him, then he picks you up to carry you to his bed, your mouth quickly finding his in a new, hungry kiss. It’s still awkward between the two of you, since it’s only his second time and last night he let you take the reins, but Kid has been waiting for this since he woke up in the morning without you by his side, and perhaps is the fact that he’s taking you in his bed, or that you told him explicitly he was able to give you pleasure despite that being his first time, but your lovemaking is for Kid ever more intense than what you shared last night. You do need to be quiet, since the last thing he wants is for the rest of the crew to know what you are up to, but for Kid hearing you whisper and moan his name in his ear is more than enough; seeing the naked, unadulterated pleasure in your eyes as he moves inside you and waves of pleasure rock both of your bodies, makes his head spin.

🔥 He’s careful in penetrating you, even after you’ve assured him you’re more than ready and you’ll tell him if you want to stop; he hasn’t forgotten you’ve been with other men already -a thought that keeps making him angry, even though he couldn’t explain why- but when he feels his cock entering you as if you were made for it, made for him, it’s hard not to delude himself into thinking no one has ever pleasured you like he’s doing. “You’re beautiful.” he grunts, and he’s not sure who’s more surprised to hear him utter those words, you or himself. Beauty is something Kid has had scarce opportunity to appreciate, or to care about in his life, but as he looks at your naked body sprawled on his bed, your skin bathed in the soft moonlight filtering through the window, he knows you are beautiful, and he, like the avid and greedy man he’s always been, wants you to himself.

🔥 You end up having sex twice, barely catching your breath in the middle; in the end you’re both exhausted, but Kid feels amazing, sated and proud of himself for the pleasure he’s seen reflected in your eyes. “May I stay for a while? I can tell the others I was busy in the storage room.” you ask, uncertain but hopeful, and Kid, who hadn’t even considered the possibility of you leaving, nods and holds you against his body. He doesn’t complain when you start playing with his hair, and grins to himself when you tell him you have always admired it, its bright colour and how it compliments his skin tone. You enjoy a few more minutes together, holding and touching each other, before you need to leave; lying on his back, Kid observes as you quickly, silently retrieve your clothes, and then kiss him one last time. “You know, I could always put you down for another shift in the storage room tomorrow night.” he proposes, and you smile at him. “As I said, captain, whatever you might decide is fine by me.” you say “More than fine, in fact.”

🔥 That’s how it starts between the two of you. From then on, you visit Kid in his cabin almost every night; you can never stay too long, since your cabinmates -not one, not two, but five of them- would notice your prolonged absence, but you make those brief rendez-vous count to the last second. When you enter, Kid is always there waiting for you, often naked already to save time, and invariably hard. “Took you a while!” he says, even though you are almost always on time or even early, and before you have time to react he’s taken you in his arms and is kissing you passionately. 

🔥 Sometimes, when your lovemaking has ended but you still have some time before you need to go, you talk - really talk. You have spoken a million times before, having been part of the same crew for years, but since you are quieter than most, a perfectly companionable person but used to keep her private life to herself, Kid had never realised how little he knew about you, and about your life before you joined his crew. So, night after night, as the two of you lie together side by side, your hand moving up and down his body -”You have such a nice physique, you know? I have been enjoying the view, captain, whenever you couldn’t notice.”- or him enjoying the sensual feeling of your breasts pressing against his side, you share your past, confiding in Kid like you have never done with anyone else.

🔥 “My younger sister and I ran away when we were barely a couple of kids, to escape the hell our life at home had become after our mother had died. We lived on the street for a while until a pleasure house’s madam saw me as we panhandled and offered me a place to live in exchange for work. I accepted; my sister was hired as a maid for the house, even though I wished she would let me rent a room for her somewhere else, and so we were able to get by. As I said, I made good money; I planned to put aside enough to buy a house for the two of us, or to work until my looks allowed me to attract clients, until a client decided the fact that he paid for my company gave him the right to use me as he wished, despite my protestations. I didn’t mean to kill him, I was only trying to defend myself, but he forced my hand… and then I was forced to leave, in order not to cause trouble for the other courtesans. My sister still lives in that town; I send her part of my wage every month, but she has a good job, and got married two years ago.” you explain, your cheek resting on Kid’s chest. 

🔥 “You did good killing that bastard.” he comments. “Thank you; and to think, he wasn’t even the client who hurt me the worst.” you say with a sigh. “Why?” Kid asks, curious despite himself, but you shake your head decisively. “That’s a story for another time. So…” you add with a smile, letting your hand slip downward, past his chiseled abs and the patch of red hair on his abdomen “Since we still have a little time, what about we check how long you can resist before I make you come with my mouth?”

🔥 Kid has found heaven between your thighs, your tight, warm pussy taking him every time with a delicious friction that makes him forget his own name, but what he likes the most is having you go down on him. Given the fact you’re still much more experienced than him -even though, he’s pleased to recognise, he’s improving by the day- he enjoys being in control, which usually means sitting on the edge of the bed with you kneeling between his thighs, his hard cock filling your warm, soft mouth, your head moving up and down as you use your lips, your tongue and even -cautiously- your teeth to give him pleasure. To have you focus on his needs rather than your own feels exhilarating; he hasn’t found the One Piece, but in those moments he feels like a King already.

🔥 At times, to be fair, you do give in to your own needs, and as you service him, running your tongue up and down his shaft, Kid can see you slip a hand between your legs to relieve the pressure. Sometimes he pretends he didn’t see, or at least that he doesn’t mind seeing you taking care of something other than him, but Kid has never been known for his generosity, and so it is that most of the times he grabs your wrists and orders you to focus on what you are doing, and on him, with the unspoken promise he will reward you as soon as you’re done and he’s had a moment to catch his breath. He never goes back on his promise.

[flowerandblood]

The Taste of Desire (AU)

[ dom!modern • Aemond x friend sister • female ]

[ warnings: sex with soft domination, fingering, smut, angst, sexual tension, remorse, doubts related to sex work ]

[ description: Aemond works as a professional dom, fulfilling the various fantasies of his female clients − however, he guards his privacy and does not enter into any relationships with them, recognizing that he does not want or need it. One of his clients surprises him with her behaviour, making him experience something he has never felt before, with his own actions and emotions slipping out of his control. Sexual tension, doubts related to sex work. ]

This oneshot is an alternative universe for my series The Taste of Shame in which Aemond meets the main character as his client. It shows how their lives would have turned out and what their first time would have been like if Aemond had done it for money. Created to celebrate my anniversary on 22 March.

Series & Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

My other series: Masterlist

_____

He was never picky when it came to his female clients. They had to meet basic standards like hygiene, no venereal diseases and they couldn't go beyond a certain time, but once they signed a confidentiality clause, what he was going to do with them was no longer important to him.

He kept repeating to himself that he was there for them, not them for him, so he focused on giving them what they wanted in a way that didn't disturb his comfort zone.

He did not allow them to kiss or touch him with their hands − in fact, he preferred that any involvement they had in what was happening was minimal. What he found most pleasing in the whole act was his violence towards them, and the more they consented to, the more he was satisfied.

Their pleas and cries of pain combined with some subconscious pleasure that such sadomasochism gave them made him struggle to hold back the mocking smile that pressed against his lips.

They wanted to be treated like worthless objects, and that's what he was giving them, because that's exactly how he thought of them.

He didn't try to delve into considering what he thought of himself, because he decided that would end up with a visit to a psychiatrist. He was studying quantum physics, lived far away from his family and needed a steady, high source of income − since silly girls could make money from sex cams, he could make money that way, at least until he had no other prospects.

The only way to contact him was through an online form on his website, where they would write why they wanted to meet, indicate what suited them or not, and if he felt he could meet their whims, he would arrange to meet them to discuss the details and sign the documents.

Scrolling through dozens of similar messages about tying, gagging, beating and humiliation he stopped on one where only a few things were marked. He thought surprised that he wouldn't even link them to aggressive domination per se, and certainly not the kind he usually used.

Good morning. I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'd like to try, but I'm also a bit embarrassed about it. I don't know if this can be subsumed under your interests − I'm completely inexperienced, so maybe that's why I'm looking for a professional who knows what he's doing and would be able to show me what I actually need and want. I apologise for the rather chaotic explanation and send my regards. Selected practices: spanking, verbal domination, fingering

He blinked and scratched his chin, both intrigued and uncertain at the same time − he glanced quickly at her age and saw that she was younger than him. He bit his lower lip feeling that something in the idea that she was still inexperienced and only willing to explore her needs attracted him, the thought that this would be some sort of challenge for him.

He decided that why not.

She was an adult.

He looked forward to meeting her with the utmost curiosity. Her requirements were basic enough that he didn't need to prepare any extra kinks, and since she didn't want sex with penetration, it also gave him a greater sense of confidence and peace of mind − he knew he wouldn't have to chase his orgasm, imagining some woman from porn, and would be able to concentrate only on what he was doing to her.

When he heard a quiet knock on the door of the flat he rented only to meet his female clients, he got up immediately from behind his desk and opened it for her, swallowing hard as his gaze involuntarily swept over her figure and stopped on her face.

God.

This was not what he had expected.

She looked even younger than she had written; her eyes were big and bright, looking at him with fear and dread, though usually the women who came to him, learned by experience, kept their gaze meekly on the floor, waiting for him to command them to look at himself.

She was dressed in a plain white Tshirt and high-waisted jeans, a fabric coloured backpack on her back, her hair loose, shiny, dark, slightly wavy − he could smell the fruity scent of her perfume or shower gel.

He grunted quietly, trying to keep a stony face, feeling that involuntarily his gaze expressed shock. He took a few steps back and invited her in − she stepped inside uncertainly, turning away quickly as he closed the door behind her.

"Come in. Do not be afraid." He said lowly, pointing to his desk which stood in the deeper part of the flat − she walked in that direction, looking in horror at the bed standing on the other side of the room.

He heard her swallow hard, tense and red, pulling her backpack off her back − she placed it in her lap immediately after she sat down in the chair opposite him, as if trying to ward off and protect herself from him in this way.

He took his seat on the other side and tapped his index finger on the top of his wooden oak desk, thinking that he had never had a client like her before.

She was completely distracted, her gaze sweeping across the room as if she were a curious child, her fingers tightening on the material of her rucksack.

"As I mentioned, first the contract and confidentiality clause." He said calmly, handing her copies of the contract and clause he had sent her earlier.

She took them from him and looked into his eyes again, making him swallow hard; it wasn't a defiant look and it wasn't meant to seduce him. It seemed to him just the opposite − she wanted to show him that some part of her was genuinely afraid of him.

She nodded, her hands trembling all over as she took the sheets of paper in her hands − she looked around quickly and clumsily grabbed a pen.

He wondered, seeing what was happening to her, if what she wanted was really good for her and although he never meddled in his clients' decisions, he decided to intervene, for her sake and his own.

"You can still resign. I won't burden you with the cost." He said lowly, watching her closely, and saw that she flinched all over. She lifted the gaze of her bright eyes to him, her eyebrows arched in indecision, her mouth opened and closed as if she was trying to get something out of herself.

"I…I think I want to try. This one time. Do you think it's a bad idea, sir?" She asked him in a trembling, soft, girlish voice. The note of innocence that lurked in this after all defiant question made him twist in his seat, feeling surprised that his manhood swelled a little − he felt like he was literally burning her with his gaze.

He thought it was because she was so vulnerable − it turned him on that he was more experienced than her and had real control over what could happen next if she wanted it.

He chuckled involuntarily at her words, shaking his head, sighing quietly, looking at her indulgently.

"What I think about it doesn't matter." He murmured lowly, leaning comfortably against the back of his chair with a loud creak of wood.

He felt heat in his lower abdomen at the thought of her not dropping her gaze, boldly staring him in the face as if they had known each other for a long time, despite the fact that most women knew their buttocks would be red and swollen like tomatoes for such insolence.

"I would, however, like to hear your views on the matter, sir." She replied quickly, as if she recognised him as some sort of authority on the matter, a sexologist or anyone else who could give her a diagnosis.

"I am not a doctor. However, I don't think there is anything wrong with trying under controlled conditions. You also have a safe word that you can use at any time to stop whatever I'm doing. You have to decide." He said finally, and saw her nod her head, drawing in air loudly as if gathering her courage, and leaned over, signing the documents in the spaces indicated.

For some reason he involuntarily licked his lips, dried from some kind of excitement, his cock twitching hard in his trousers at the thought that she was really going to do this.

When she finished he took the papers from her, signed them and gave her one copy, reminding her of all the rules they had agreed and what she could not do.

"You can't touch me or kiss me. When we start, you are to call me sir and follow all my instructions. You are to answer all my questions by shaking or nodding your head unless I order you otherwise. I will not stop even if you beg me or cry until I hear your safe word which, please remind us, sounds how?" He asked softly, stapling the papers she had signed with a stapler, tucking them into his drawer, watching her out of the corner of his eye, feeling the heat in his lower abdomen at the very thought of what he was going to do to her.

Why was he so aroused when he hadn't even touched her yet?

"Peach." She muttered embarrassedly, looking down at her hands.

For a moment he wondered if he should add the rule he usually made where a woman couldn't look him in the eye, but something in her eyes captured him − her gaze wasn't seductive or filled with feelings he didn't want to see. He also guessed that forbidding it might overwhelm her even more, and he didn't want that.

He nodded at her words, rising, and she rose with him, holding her backpack in front of her, her shoulders raised slightly in a defensive gesture, as if she was afraid of him and the fact that she had somehow given him control over her.

He approached her slowly, looking at her vigilantly − her eyes fixed on his face as his hand took the rucksack from her arms in a gentle motion, dropping it next to her on the floor. His fingers rose to her cheeks, trailing over them, her jaw and her chin − he felt her tremble all over, surprised, her swollen, plump lips red with emotion.

Although he had never done this, he wanted to get a good look at her first − he knew that going straight to putting his hand in her panties would only frighten her and in this situation his tactics had to be a tad different.

First and foremost, he wanted to reassure her.

He saw that she had closed her eyes, trying to breathe slowly through her mouth as his hands slid down to her neck and her soft hair. He thought, smelling her fruity scent, that he would have given anything to have her kneel before him and take his achingly hard manhood into her mouth.

He decided that perhaps he would use his thoughts to embolden her a little more and let him do what he wanted.

"Such a sweet girl. You have no idea what I'd like to do with those lips." He hummed, feeling a shiver pass through her as one of his hands rose higher again, to her face, parting her lips with his thumb. "How hard I am now."

He saw the shock in her gaze, which quickly escaped down to the bulge in his trousers, her cheeks flushed as she looked up into his face again, her breathing quickened and ragged.

He sighed involuntarily at the sight.

"You can say a lot of things about me, but not that I'm a liar. Open." He commanded in a slightly cooler, stricter tone, her lips immediately parted slightly, allowing his thumb to slide deep between her fleshy, wet lips.

"Suck." He instructed, a quiet moan caught in her throat, her body suddenly quivering as the fingers of his free hand slid lower to her breast, teasing her nipple in calm, circular motions, her lips tightening around his thumb, obeying his command.

"Do you always walk around without a bra? Hm? Do you like it when men look at them?" He muttered warningly, pulling lightly on her nipple, looking at her curiously − she squirmed helplessly, closing her eyes, not knowing what to do with her hands. He could see how, in some subconscious reflex, she wanted to lift them up and embrace him, but reminded herself that she couldn't do that and lowered them again, moving him in some way and arousing him at the same time.

He couldn't remember if his client had ever made him completely hard by her behaviour itself.

"Quiet. We haven't even started properly yet, and already you want me to slap your arse?" He growled mockingly, and she shook her head quickly, drawing in air loudly, looking at him with a pleading look of her big, bright eyes, which he felt between his thighs as his cock swelled unbearably, demanding attention.

"This is my last warning. Lie on your stomach." He said coldly, although inside he felt like his body was on fire.

She obediently pulled off her shoes and lay down on the bed, watching, embarrassed, as he slipped his thumb, moist with her saliva, between his lips and licked it. He quickly pulled off his sweatshirt and shoes, leaving in his black short-sleeved T-shirt and trousers, fixing his hair with a careless flick of his hand.

"Leave only your panties on." He added, hearing her quiet squeal as his large hand gave her one, light, sharp smack on her buttock, just as an encouragement to keep her going.

"Just like that. So pretty." He hummed, watching her undress, climbing onto the bed behind her. He involuntarily licked his lips and grinned in amusement when he saw that underneath her trousers she was wearing pretty lace panties in powder pink.

He thought she was like a lollipop or candy, a sweet little gift bought just for pure pleasure.

As she pulled off her t-shirt she clung with her breasts to the bedclothes, looking somewhere sideways towards the window as if she was afraid of how exposed she was, that she was lying half-naked in front of a strange man who, on top of that, she was going to have to pay for it.

Although he cursed himself for it in the back of his head, the sincerity and naturalness of her behaviour endeared her to him − he thought in disbelief that he wasn't sure that even if she had asked him to punish her more harshly or to cause her intense pain he would have been able to do it.

Would it give him pleasure.

He took her hair aside, exposing her long neck and back, felt her shudder all over as his fingers ran along her spine.

"Are you going to be good, or should I tie you up?" He murmured and she nodded quickly − he hummed under his breath, stroking her bare skin. "Use your words."

"I'll be good. Sir." She added quickly, hearing him shift suddenly in irritation. He let out a loud breath through his nose, leaning down, grasping her wrists in his hands, placing them on either side of her head, showing her the position he expected her to hold them in.

"Your hands are supposed to be here at all times. On the pillow. If I see you take them away from here, I'll tie you up and on top of that, I'll give you ten slaps on the bottom to make sure you remember this lesson well. Do you understand? Use your words." He hissed, driving his fingers into the skin of her wrists, heard her swallow hard and nod her head quickly.

"− y-yes, sir −"

He gasped softly, pleased with her answer and the way it was going − he saw her hands tighten on the material of the pillow as he settled his knees on either side of her buttocks, lowering himself onto them so that she could feel his cock throbbing all under the material of his trousers. She stifled the cry that wanted to escape her lips by pressing her face against his bedding.

"− do you fucking feel it? − do you feel what you're doing to me? −" He muttered, trying to calm his breathing, not knowing why instead of pulling himself together and concentrating on his task he was teasing her, making his manhood painfully hard − he clamped his eyelids shut when he felt her hips begin to buck uncertainly to the rhythm of his movements.

He decided that fuck it, he would do it the way he felt like it, breaking his own rules, knowing that unlike the other women, she really needed this.

His closeness.

She sighed loudly and her whole body trembled as he pressed his face against her soft, fragrant hair, crushing her with his own weight, his hands roamed over the skin of her bare shoulders and the sides of her waist as his nose slowly slid lower, down to her neck, his fingers slipped underneath her and tightened on her soft, plump breasts as his lips pressed against her bare skin.

He heard her start to pant loudly through her mouth, surprised as he was, surely imagining it differently, writhing beneath him, his fingers digging warningly into the soft skin of her breasts, his hot breath enveloping her ear.

"− lie still or we'll do it rough − spread your thighs −" He growled, his thumbs pressing and playing with her nipples. He spread her legs with his knees, making her breath catch in her throat − he could feel her heart pounding fast under his hands, his tongue ran over the bare skin of her neck, smelling the salty taste of her sweat and the sweet taste of her perfume.

"− you're already wet, hm? − shall we check? −" He sneered, sliding the palms of his one hand down her belly − he saw out of the corner of his eye that her fingers clenched tightly on the fabric of the pillow, her whole body stiffened, her head tilted slightly as his fingertips pushed the soft, soaked material of her underwear aside, sinking into her leaking, fleshy womanhood.

"− good God − look at you − all sticky and warm −" He gasped as his fingers began to tease and squeeze her clit lightly, giving her a few encouraging strokes from which helpless, muffled sounds tried to escape her throat − his hand let go of her breasts for a moment and slapped her buttock with all his might, reminding her that she was supposed to be quiet.

He didn't even notice when he started rubbing against her faster from the top, chasing his own fulfilment, completely aroused by what was happening to her, how she was responding to him.

He felt like his cock was about to explode.

"− moan for me − let me hear these sweet sounds −" He whispered in her ear, driving his fingers harder into the soft, leaking structure of her folds.

Moan for me?

What the fuck was that supposed to be?

He sighed when she cried out loudly, clenching her eyes, writhing all under him, again and again rubbing his sore cock with her buttocks. He felt ashamed that even though he was the master of the situation, it seemed to him that somehow it was she who was dictating how it looked, or rather his inability to treat her as he did his other clients.

There was something innocent about her, that her goal was not for him to humiliate her, beat her or hurt her, but for him to guide her, to show her what she really desired and what he could do with her body.

He thought, running his fingertips over her moist, hot slit, that perhaps this was what he had been craving deep inside himself all this time.

"− ah − please, sir −" She mewled helplessly, and he felt her words between his thighs. He licked his lips, trailing his fingers over her throbbing, weeping cunt, teasing her hard nipple with his other hand, each of his movements accompanied by the loud click of her moisture.

"− what are you asking me to do? − use your words −" He exhaled, feeling that he was embarrassingly close to climax himself, and wondered if he was going to cum in his own trousers for the first time in his life.

"− please − please, put it inside me −" She mumbled out and he swallowed hard feeling her buttocks rubbing against his cock.

He froze for a moment, running his fingers over her hot, leaking folds, fighting with himself, on the one hand wanting only this, on the other the contract was different and he never broke the terms he himself had agreed to and signed.

What if, afterwards, she found that she didn't want it and decided that he had raped her, go to the police with it?

This thought sobered his mind a little, though his whole body shuddered with disappointment, his two fingers suddenly forced their way inside her with her moan of pleasure.

"− I can't − you know I can't, don't you? −" He breathed out, pressing the tips of his fingertips into the fleshy structure of her muscles, searching for the spot hidden between them.

She shuddered all over when he felt it a moment later, his thumb trailing over her clit as his two fingers dug in between her slick folds with a loud click of her wetness − he felt her whole body tense in anticipation, again and again his fingers squeezed her the way she needed it.

"− I'll be good, sir − please − please − please − I'll be good −" She cried out, her sticky walls began to clench around his fingers, sucking them inside and he closed his eyes, imagining he felt it on his hard, aching cock.

How tight she was.

He'd never done this before and he knew he shouldn't, but for some reason he was desperate, his mind clouded by what he'd seen and what he needed.

He watched her face in disbelief, her eyes closed, her cheeks flushed with exertion, her lips parted sweetly in a loud, accelerated breath.

"We can do this, but on my terms. I'll just fuck you, nothing more. No money. Do you understand?" He asked her in a trembling voice, as if he wanted to make sure she understood, that it meant nothing to him, that she just turned him on too much and he wanted to take it out on her.

He saw her eyes open suddenly, fear and relief filling her gaze as she whispered just a few words without looking at him.

"Let me look at your face, sir."

He himself didn't know when he suddenly flipped her onto her back as his lips clung with a loud purr to her hard, swollen nipple, sucking and licking it − he heard her moan loudly, startled, making him lose his temper. His hands in a helpless reflex slid down to the button of his trousers and his zipper, releasing his erection quickly, he wasn't sure he had ever been so terrified and aroused at the same time.

He knew things had gotten out of hand and that he would regret it, but he couldn't deny himself, knowing that he would probably never see her again.

"Don't touch me. Do you understand? If you touch me, I'll stop and I'll slap your arse so hard you won't be able to sit for the next few weeks." He hissed, looking her straight in the face, reaching his hand into his pocket to pull out the condom −she merely nodded, her hands clenched on either side of her face, her swollen lips parted in a quick, uneven breath.

He looked at her pretty figure, her sweet, plump breasts, her flushed face, her hair in disarray, and thought helplessly that she was beautiful and that he would go mad if he didn't do this to her.

Never before had he put a condom over his length as quickly as he did then − with a quick, sure, impatient movement he slid her panties off her, already all wet with her moisture, grabbed her by her hips and pushed her closer, momentarily forcing her tight, leaking folds to let him inside her.

He didn't speak, because he didn't know what he was supposed to say either, ashamed of his own desperation as he pushed deeper into her with a sure, sharp thrust.

He began to pound into her as if he had completely lost his mind, fast and out of control − she threw her head to the side, writhing beneath him, moaning loudly, her walls wonderfully moist and hot, clenching on him so tightly that he struggled to restrain himself from cumming just yet, not wanting to humiliate himself.

"− oh God −" He muttered, looking at her as if through a fog, leaning over her, his hands found hers, her fingers clenched on them, seeking proximity − she looked up at him pleadingly, panting and quivering.

He suspected that never before had anyone fucked her at such a brutal, fast pace from which she couldn't catch her breath, her thighs spread wide before him in a gesture of trust, their bodies slapping against each other with the loud clicks of her wetness.

"− these idiots couldn't even fuck you properly, hm? −" He panted low and she only nodded, his fingers intertwining with hers in some subconscious reflex, as if he wanted to show her that he understood her, that she had a right to be disappointed, that he had no idea how any man could fail to give her what she needed.

"− my poor little baby − am I right? −" He breathed out and she cried loudly and nodded her head, something in her gaze, in her eyes flooded with tears, filled with despair, tenderness and relief made him lean lower and cling to her lips.

She moaned loudly into his throat and he felt her walls squeeze him tightly with a sudden, intense orgasm, sucking him inside as his tongue invaded between her lips. She reciprocated his kiss with such devotion that a few of his helpless, sloppy thrusts were enough to make him cum into the condon.

"− fuck − fuck, baby −" He breathed out into her mouth as if she was his, as if they were in his bed in his flat, as if he loved her and was about to have dinner with her or go to sleep lying next to her, as if she wasn't a stranger to him, her sweet scent, her innocent sounds and the taste of her mouth were all that filled his mind as he continued to rock his hips deep inside her.

Even though they had both came, they didn't stop kissing, their lips joining and pulling away from each other lazily with a loud click of their saliva, his hands roaming up and down her fingers, alternately stroking them and entwining them with his own again.

Something about what was happening between them, about this sudden, unexpected closeness calmed him and made him completely drift off.

He knew that she had wanted to touch and kiss him from the very beginning, but she still respected his decision and his rules.

And he, for some reason incomprehensible to himself, broke them for her.

He pressed his face to her cheek, panting along with her, unsure of what he should do now, distracted and ashamed that he couldn't help himself, that for the first time in his life he had overstepped the time and competence he should have given her.

And that wasn't good.

What if she thinks now that they are in love with each other, that maybe one day they will be together? If she starts writing to him and stalking him like so many women before her?

"I'm sorry." He heard her whisper and shuddered, snapped out of his reverie.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze, her hands still on either side of her head. He grunted quietly, horrified at how close she was, that he could smell her pleasant scent so intensely, her breath, the warmth of her body.

"I'm the one who should apologise. I behaved unprofessionally. I won't take money from you." He replied after a moment, and she shook her head, shocked.

"− n-no, why − I mean − after all, you did what we agreed to do − you gave me your time, I −"

"− you're not the kind of person who would enjoy a strong dominant-submissive interaction − you'd be terrified − you're worrying too much − probably those guys before me didn't ask you what you needed, hm? − that's what I thought − there's nothing wrong with you − that's my diagnosis −" He hummed, sighing heavily, lifting himself up on his elbows, placing a lingering, tender kiss on her forehead.

He slipped out of her gently with her quiet hiss of discomfort − he saw her press her lips together when he slided the shed condom off his manhood and tie it off, tossing it into the small bin standing next to his bed, zipping his trousers back up. He saw her reach with a trembling hand for her underwear and sighed under his breath, shaking his head.

"Wipe yourself well first, the tissues are lying on the table next to you. Don't you have underwear to change into?" He asked uncertainly, realising that this was usually obvious to the women who visited him, as it was to him, so he didn't warn her, thinking she would figure it out for herself.

She shook her head quickly and he sighed heavily, taking a bottle of water standing on the table, unscrewing it and handing it to her, seeing that she completely didn't know what she should do with herself now.

"− drink − you'd better just wipe yourself off and put your trousers on −" He replied and she nodded, red with embarrassment, taking a few deep sips of water without looking at him.

He turned away as she started to get dressed, running his hand over his face, recognising that he was an idiot and had completely lost his fucking mind, unable to forgive himself for fucking her even though their terms were different.

He shuddered as she approached him quietly − he thought terrified that she was going to try to touch him, maybe even thinking they were going to become lovers now, but she just held a bundle of banknotes in front of him, looking at him pleadingly.

"− I already told you I won't take it − keep it −"

"− I can't, after all −"

"− don't piss me off −" He growled, and she pressed her lips together, lowering her hand, swallowing loudly.

They stared at each other for a long moment in awkward silence to say the least − he grunted, combing his fingers through his hair, feeling that for some reason his heart was pounding like crazy.

What was happening to him?

"− consider it a gift − we both made each other feel good − right? −" He asked, as if he wanted to make sure he hadn't hurt her. She nodded and smiled softly, shyly, for some reason making him feel a squeeze in his throat.

He regretted that she had ever written to him.

He regretted that he had said yes.

He regretted that it had been so pleasant.

"− thank you − and I apologise again − I won't take up your time anymore − I wish you all the best − please take care of yourself and be happy −" She said finally, and he flinched, looking at her in disbelief − he felt that his lips were parted in shock as he looked at her dully.

He didn't know what to answer.

Only after a while did he get anything out of himself, feeling that she was due at least some perfunctory response.

"− it's me who's sorry − I also wish you all the best −"

She nodded and smiled warmly at him, before her trembling hand reached for her backpack and headed towards the door, opening it and disappearing behind it a moment later.

He looked at the bed, at the sheets where the mark of her body was clearly visible, the fact that she had just been lying there, that he had been deep inside her and had fucked her like he had never put his cock inside any woman before.

He went over there and just lay on his stomach, sinking his face into the pillow that was drenched in her scent.

For the next few days, his head was in a state of chaos − one part of him was afraid that she would reach out to him, that she would seek contact or a relationship with him, like so many women before her wanting to be special to him, to be the only one.

The other part of him was even begging for her to do it, for him to be able to free himself at last from the memories of what he had done to her, that she had broken something in him, that he couldn't look at the women who came after her.

He couldn't focus, he felt remorse, he couldn't even get aroused and he was so frustrated that, to the despair of his regular clients, he decided to take a break for a few weeks to cool down.

His friend from university, Robert, had already invited him to his birthday party a month earlier and although he didn't have the energy to go anywhere, he knew that afterwards he would be listening to him and Criston moan in class about how completely unsocial he was.

He figured that since it was only going to be a private party at his house, he might as well go there at least for a while so no one would accuse him of lack of effort.

When he stopped outside his house he got out of the car and decided to have a quick cigarette, tired and discouraged, knowing that sooner or later his savings would run out and he would have to go back to it, whether he wanted to or not.

Or find another, lower-paid job.

He sighed heavily, clamping his fingers over the base of his nose, closing his eyes, trying to calm himself. He heard movement beside him and the screech of brakes, lifted his gaze and froze when it became apparent that she had just sat down beside him from her bike, a wide smile on her lips as if she thought he was a stranger, only recognising him after a moment, her lips parted then in horror, panic in her gaze.

He stared at her, feeling his body freeze.

Fuck.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"Oh God. Do you know Robert?" She muttered, and he swallowed hard, feeling a tightening in his throat at the thought that she could have been his friend's girlfriend.

"Yes. Fuck. And you?" He asked her quickly with some sort of accusation, from which she swallowed hard.

"I-I, I'm his younger sister. I went to get some candles, I didn't know…"

"It's okay. I'll just go home." He replied, taking a few quick puffs of his cigarette, crushing it with his foot, turning back towards his car.

"N-no, please. Are you Aemond? Did I guess right? Robert was telling me about you. How he's glad you're coming. That you rarely talk or go out somewhere as a threesome with Criston. It's good that we met here, we'll avoid an awkward greeting. Please, don't be embarrassed." She muttered, and he sighed heavily, running his hand over his face, heartbroken. They both shuddered when they heard a knock on the glass, Robert looked at them through the window and started waving at them, gleeful.

Jesus Christ.

They both headed towards her house, knowing that since he'd seen him, he couldn't run away anymore anyway. He was terrified that since she was Robert's sister, she was someone familiar, not a stranger, that this changed everything and nothing, his heart pounding like mad.

"Do you have a lighter?" She asked as they stopped in front of the front door and he shook his head, snapped out of his reverie, frowning his brow.

"What?"

"Do you have a lighter? Can you help me? I need to light the candles on his birthday cake." She muttered in a whisper as if someone might overhear them, and she was telling him an important secret. He sighed heavily and nodded, recognising that he must have been dreaming all this.

Robert greeted him with joy, all around them Criston, their family and a few of his high school friends, a whole group of people he didn't know and with whom he knew he wouldn't find common ground, and among them her.

He wished him well and gave him his present, but he was unable to focus − he met her terrified gaze, she was pointing her finger at him that she needed his help in the kitchen.

He followed her as if into the lion's mouth, watching from the side as she opened the fridge in the darkness, taking out a blueberry meringue. She sighed heavily, placing it on the table in front of him, only the lights of the street lamps around them.

"It looked better in the picture on the internet, but I did my best." She mumbled, as if she wanted to say anything that would lighten the atmosphere between them.

He felt like an idiot when their trembling hands touched as he handed her the lighter and swallowed loudly, watching as one by one the candles began to glow with the warm, bright light of the flame.

He wanted to ask her if something in her life had changed, if she now knew what she wanted and needed, if she thought about what had happened.

Was she thinking about him.

She picked up the cake when it was all ready and let the air out loud through her mouth, looking him straight in the eye.

"Let's go."

After singing a short 'Happy Birthday', Robert blew out all the candles, happy to announce that his little sister had remembered what cake he loved best, assuring everyone that it was certainly delicious.

They spent the whole party throwing surreptitious, embarrassed glances at each other − he had to empty a few glasses of strong Whisky to calm himself down, the alcohol relaxing him a little, though only seemingly, suppressing his fear, but making him start thinking about something else again.

He looked at her figure dressed in a modest mid-thigh summer dress, her hair, her face − saw the way she laughed, the way she talked to others and felt a squeeze in his throat at the thought that then, being with him, she wasn't pretending.

She really was like that.

Affectionate, open, sweet, kind.

Everything he wasn't.

He swallowed heavily at the thought, sad and embittered, taking another deep sip from his glass.

"How are you going to get home? Criston is staying the night at our house, why don't you stay too? It's late." Said Robert sitting down next to him on the couch, patting him on the back in a friendly manner, already himself relaxed by the considerable amount of alcohol his body had assimilated.

He swallowed hard, looking at his sister from afar, feeling that this was a very bad idea.

"Why not." He muttered, thinking that he was a moron for looking for trouble himself, and that if Robert found out what he'd done to his sister, he'd kill him with his own hands.

Criston and a few others occupied the upstairs rooms, and he suggested he could sleep in the living room on the couch, to which Robert agreed.

He hoped this would embolden her to come to him, as he himself would never have dared to knock on her door despite how desperate he was.

At the thought that he might feel her again, his manhood reacted with an enthusiastic, intense pulsing in his trousers.

He felt that he was drunk as he began to pull off his black tight turtleneck, managing it with difficulty, pulling off his shoes, laying down dressed only in Tshirt and trousers with a quiet sigh and covered himself carelessly with the blanket, listening.

Is she going to do it or not?

And even if she comes to him, should he agree?

He felt disappointment when an hour passed and nothing happened, silence all around him and the loud snoring of someone coming from the upstairs rooms, perhaps her and Robert's father. He sighed heavily, recognising that he had made it all up, that she was surely now ashamed of him and what she had done, trying to forget it.

He swallowed hard at the thought, feeling discomfort in his stomach, and closed his eyes, figuring he would try to get at least a few hours of sleep.

He shuddered and opened them again when he heard a quiet creak, as if someone was walking down the corridor above him, but he wasn't sure himself if it wasn't just his imagination. A shiver ran down his spine and his manhood swelled all over when he heard someone quietly walk down the steps.

Whoever this person was, however, she didn't approach him but walked through the living room to the kitchen.

He felt his heart start pounding like crazy when he caught sight of her silhouette in the darkness, dressed only in an oversized white Tshirt and light shorts − she walked over to the tap, took a glass from the drawer and poured herself some water.

Should he approach her or not?

What if she gets scared?

Fuck.

He didn't even know when he just picked himself up on the couch, for some reason doing it very slowly so that his movements couldn't be heard − he felt like a predator who wanted to get closer to his prey even though he didn't really intend to harm her.

As soon as he stood up he immediately felt the room around him spin, the pleasant, intoxicating warmth of the alcohol melting through his lower abdomen making him seem less terrified of what he wanted to do than if he had been completely sober.

When she caught sight of his silhouette out of the corner of her eye she almost choked on the water − she spat some of it into the sink coughing loudly, making him freeze motionless, afraid to approach her. She quickly wiped her mouth with her hand, looking at him with big eyes.

"My God, you scared me." She muttered pale, her pretty, smooth face illuminated by the warm light of the street lamps standing in front of her house.

He stared at her for a moment, thinking that perhaps it must all have been a dream after all, that the fact that she was standing in front of him was unreal, invented by his distraught, drunken mind.

"I'm sorry." He stammered, swallowing hard, standing a good distance away from her, fighting with himself not to look shamelessly at her bare legs and her nipples peeking through from under her T-shirt.

Again.

They stood for a moment in uncomfortable silence, both of them breathing embarrassingly loudly, as if each of them was reliving deep inside themselves the fact that they were seeing each other again.

And on top of that, in her brother's house.

"I didn't know you were his sister. I swear. I would never do that to you." He finally started to speak, to explain, although he didn't know why − he had the feeling that he was trying to get anything out of himself so she didn't go back upstairs to her room.

He heard her sigh quietly, stroking her bare shoulder with her trembling hand. She shifted from foot to foot in a nervous gesture, looking somewhere to the side, her lips parted slightly in an accelerated breath.

"I know." She whispered, and he felt a heat in his lower abdomen and a pleasant shudder at the thought that perhaps she wasn't misjudging him, that perhaps she wasn't disgusted by him at all.

"How do you feel? I mean − are you okay?" She asked in a trembling voice, as if she wasn't sure if she should be asking this kind of question. She glanced at him uncertainly, clearly wanting to check his reaction, he stared at her stunned, completely surprised by her question.

"− I… yeah, I guess − I mean, I'm on a break from − you know − from this − right now −" He muttered, tucking his hands into the pockets of his black trousers, looking at the floor, feeling ashamed and embarrassed for some reason.

It's because of you, he wanted to say.

I did it for you.

"Something happened?" She asked after a moment, playing with the fingers of her hands in a nervous reflex, as if she was afraid of what she would hear.

"− yes − I mean − I have doubts − I always had, but now… they've intensified − you know −" He muttered, shrugging his shoulders, feeling the tightness in his throat and stomach growing stronger, his heart pounding like mad, cold sweat running down his back.

I'm just a whore, he thought.

I sell myself for money.

She nodded her head quickly so he knew she understood.

"− I'm sorry −" She said quietly, and he looked at her dully, not knowing why for some reason his lower lip trembled, why he felt a burning sensation under his eyelids.

He was ashamed that he desired her so much, that he wanted her words but also her body, wanted to fuck her first and then embrace her and fall asleep.

Was he treating her objectively? Was he only able to think about one thing?

Sex, sex, sex, sex.

He couldn't get anything out of himself.

He shuddered, drawing in air loudly as she came closer to him, in her gaze genuine fear and worry at his condition, questioning whether she could do anything for him, help him in any way.

He knew she longed to touch him − he saw out of the corner of his eye her hand rising to touch his shoulder but falling back after a moment, reminding himself that he never allowed anyone to invade his space.

He felt like screaming.

"− do you want to talk about it? −"

He wasn't sure he wanted to talk to anyone about it, but after a while he was sitting next to her on the terrace anyway, covered in a thick, soft blanket, sitting next to her on a rather uncomfortable wooden bench hanging by chains, which he rocked back and forth with involuntary movements of his knees, lighting a cigarette from his lighter with a quiet hiss of fire.

He took a drag and let the smoke out loudly through his nose, sighing quietly, just thinking about the fact that their hips and shoulders were touching.

"What did you think of me? After all this." He asked suddenly, swallowing loudly as he heard her twist in her place, throwing him a surprised, even horrified look. She sighed quietly, covering herself more tightly with the fluffy material.

"That you are a good man."

He felt his hand with the cigarette freeze in mid-motion as he was about to take another drag and for some reason he laughed in disbelief at her words, feeling a piercing pain in his chest, his eyebrows arching in amusement.

"That I'm a good man. Good God." He hummed, taking another drag − he could see she was looking down at her fingers, ashamed of her words and his cruel reaction. He licked his lower lip with his tongue and closed his eyes, feeling that he was completely hard.

He could smell her, she was still using that fruity, pleasant, fresh perfume.

"You're a romantic, innocent soul, aren't you?" He sneered, letting the smoke out again through his nose with a loud sigh − he heard her cough quietly as the smell of tobacco rose into her lungs. She grunted quietly, her lips tightened in displeasure.

"Innocent souls come to a strange man to spank them for money?"

"You didn't want me to spank you. You haven't experienced even a hint of real, hard domination, sweet girl." He snarled, spreading himself out comfortably on the back of the bench with a loud creak of wood, the metal chains squeaking quietly each time he made another movement with his foot, putting the structure in motion.

"So why did you agree to this?" She asked finally, and he fell silent, staring blankly ahead, taking one last drag on what was left of his cigarette.

"Good question."

They both fell silent again, feeling that their conversation was starting to get out of hand, and after all, someone could have woken up, opened the window, overheard their words.

"Did you tell Robert?" He asked suddenly, and she shook her head, horrified.

"N-no, of course not. And I won't. This is between you two. He respects you very much." She muttered, lowering her gaze to her bent knees, which she held under her chin. He hummed at her statement, accepting her words with some sort of relief.

"Did that help you? Now you know what you need?" He asked impassively, letting the smoke out loudly through his mouth, dropping the remnants of his cigarette into the glass with the unfinished drink, feeling her gaze on him, her body tense, he knew she had hesitated.

"In a way." She replied, and he dared to look her straight in the eye.

She didn't lower her gaze even though he knew some part of her wanted to do so, her lips parted slightly when she noticed his hands had slipped under the blanket, into his trousers. She swallowed loudly when she heard the sound of his zipper being undone and the fabric being unfastened.

"Come here. Sit on my lap." He ordered softly, and she did so without hesitation, as if she had only been waiting for those words, something in her confidence, in her assurance, in her desire, in her hot gaze made his breath stand in his throat.

They said nothing as he slipped her shorts off her, as he lowered his trousers, finally releasing his aching, swollen erection, already leaking from his precum. He didn't protest when her hands tentatively embraced his neck, barely touching him, merely catching her balance, his free hand covering their hips with a blanket.

"I'm clean. I had myself tested a few weeks ago, after I'd already taken a break." He whispered, feeling his cock throb aggressively in his hand at the thought that he could come deep inside her if she would just let him. She nodded her head in understanding, one movement of his hand between her thighs reassuring him that no further treatment would be necessary.

"Have you been this wet all evening? Hm? Have you suffered as much as I have?" He gasped, directing the pink, fat head of his manhood at her swollen slit. She nodded again, her lips parted in disbelief and delight, her eyes closed as she felt him begin to push inside her,his thumbs spreading her folds to the sides, watching with a rapidly beating heart as he slowly opened her wide on his cock.

"− fuck − fuck, tell me you're taking your pills −" He breathed out, tilting his head back, with one sure thrust of his hips filling her tight, leaking cunt to the brim. She squirmed quietly as he began to move inside her immediately, pounding into her with deep, sure stabs, rubbing each time the spot inside her from where she could see stars.

"− y-yes −" She mumbled out, rising and falling on his thick, aching manhood, giving him a wonderful squeeze each time, from which he sank his fingers deeper into her soft buttocks, forcing her into a fast, sharp rhythm in which he hardly slid out of her, panting and grunting louder than usual, thinking only of how wonderfully warm she was, that he could feel her moist, fleshy walls with his whole being with each sure thrust.

"− kiss me −" He exhaled and groaned loudly into her mouth as her lips instantly clung to his in a sloppy, sticky dance, his tongue invading deep into her throat, a shudder went through him as one of her hands combed through his hair.

"− m sorry −" She mumbled, immediately lowering her hand, but he put his one arm around her waist and pressed her closer to him, deepening the kiss with a loud purr of satisfaction, feeling wonderful, the alcohol had given him courage, and her touch was sweet and tender, not making him feel cornered.

"− it's okay − touch my face −" He sighed out between loud, wet licks of their swollen lips, quickening his pace as her hands gripped his cheeks, as her forehead pressed against his. Her walls began to clench on him with increasing intensity, making him lose his temper, not letting her escape the brutal thrusts of his hips.

"− oh, God − fuck, where −" He only mumbled, feeling that it was about to be too late.

"− please, inside me − ah −" She mewled so sweetly that he sighed loudly, surprised to feel his muscles relax, his semen spilling deep inside her without his willpower as her walls began to suck him and squeeze him in orgasm.

They both panted loudly, rocking their hips for a while longer, pulsing and shuddering, stroking each other's faces, looking at each other with their lips slightly parted, breathing heavily.

"− shall we go out somewhere tomorrow? − you know − to the pub or something? −" He muttered embarrassed that he had wanted something more, that he broke his own rule.

He was relieved when she giggled and smiled, nodding, only to lean in a moment later and kiss him in a drawn-out manner with her soft, puffy lips. He murmured contentedly, stroking her warm, bare buttocks with lazy movements, reciprocating her caress with a loud click of their saliva.

She pulled away from him at last, her hand combing slowly through his short hair making a pleasant shiver run along his spine.

"− why not −"

[chronicbeans]

Queerplatonic Alastor x Reader Headcanons

Hehe my plan of writing headcanons for various Aroace-spec identity Alastor headcanons has begun. This one is with a cupioromantic and asexual Alastor in mind. I haven't seen enough of them, and as they say! "If you want it done right, you gotta do it yourself."

TW: Frustrations regarding romantic identity, complete unawareness of certain LGBTQ+ topics (my man's from the 1920's, he's almost completely in the dark), slight yandere behavior? (I feel he's just obsessive by default, regardless of the relationship type)

• So, this man has never necessarily identified himself with any sort of LGBTQ+ labels. Back in his day, there weren't any terms to use for being asexual or aromantic. At least, not any that he knew of. He's always been comfortable with his sexuality, though! His main thought process was always "I'll probably find someone that I'm attracted to at some point, and if I don't, that's alright." That thought process has also followed him down to Hell, and stayed the same for all these years.

• However... Whilst he's very comfortable with his sexuality... His romantic feelings are very complicated, now. He's always desired to have one, and he's very confused as to why he hasn't felt any romantic attraction, yet. It makes sense that someone who wants a romantic relationship to be able to feel romantic attraction, yes? He's very much in the dark to the complexities of how these things really work, mostly due to him being from the 1920s-30s. He's caught up on slang and technology, but he hasn't bothered to keep up with sexualities and romantic identities, as he doesn't think about them much.

• So, does he ask any more modern demons and sinners for help? Ha! No. He's too prideful, and simply assumes that there probably isn't much of a difference in knowledge on romantic attraction as compared to his day. Yes, he's aware that there's way more identities for sexualities. People talk about them often, and he hears terms thrown around here and there as he walks through Hell. He never hears anything in regards to romance, though. It's simply not talked about as often, from his experience. So, he's completely in the dark. If anything, he's probably completely unaware that there are identities for romantic attraction.

• He does what he can to cope. This whole situation is very frustrating for him. However, at the same time, he thinks that it shouldn't be so frustrating. So, it's embarrassing to him, and he doesn't tell anyone about it. Instead, he does what he believes everyone who is single and ready to mingle does: reading romance novels. More specifically, he flips to parts where said attraction is described, or little scenarios that he wants is going on. Restaurant dates, walking through the park, dancing, holding hands and cuddling. Those sorts of things! Things nobody would ever expect someone as unhinged as him would want...

• The most frustrating part, however, is that he feels he should already be feeling such an attraction to you. You, being his most close friend. You're the one he trusts with certain secrets, one of the few people he doesn't mind touching him unprompted (besides, say, Niffty), and probably the only person he lets his smile down around. Though, he rarely does so, as he doesn't want to worry you. Unlike Niffty, who he sees as having a more familial feeling towards, he sees you as a close friend. His closest friend, but just a close friend, which frustrates him to no end.

• It takes him a long time to even think of mentioning it to someone. However, when he does, he'd feel too awkward to bring it up to you. So, he decides to speak to Charlie about it! After all, she has one of the more "modern" relationships. So, she probably also knows something about whatever is going on with him! And after the long and grueling process of talking to her? He comes out even more frustrated than before. Being unable to feel romantic attraction, but still want romance? Cupioromantic? It is all so confusing. However, he won't question it. He's clearly out of his zone, and he was horribly wrong when assuming the world of romance hadn't progressed...

• You, however, are his most trusted friend. His closest friend. So, he decides to waste no time in deciding to propose an idea to you. He's heard of these things called "queerplatonic relationships", and his understanding is that they are like friendships, but with some more traditionally romantic interactions involved. Which, whilst his understanding of the nature of queerplatonic relationships may be a bit off, he's trying his best. Once you explain it a bit further, emphasizing that they're closer relationships than friendships, but not romantic and can vary widely in affectionate interactions, he is immediately is set on trying to start one with you. Luckily, though, you agree rather quickly.

• Despite him wanting many of your interactions and ways of showing affection to be more traditionally romantic, such as cuddling or going out on friendly dates, he won't cross any boundaries. Both because you're his closest, most prized relationship with another person, and because he can't think of many other people who would even be willing to enter such a relationship with him if he ever asked. Not that he'd want to ask anyone else. There's a reason why he immediately went to you. It's hard for him to describe it, though. Despite being a man of words, whenever he tries to explain why he feels like you are the perfect person for him to enter this queerplatonic relationship with, he stumbles heavily.

• His little ideal for this relationship is, essentially, the types of things he's read in the romance novels he has. Sure, a little bit of a twisted version of it, but at it's core it's the same. He wants to cuddle in a nice, safe, and warm room (while there's probably the screams of an extermination going on the background). He wants to go to restaurants (this man's a cannibal so check your food). He wants to do the cheesy move of handing you red roses and candy as a gift (do not ask how he was able to buy such an expensive brand, or where the two large, heavy trash bags came from or what they are filled with).

• He's going to be very, VERY protective of you. Almost, if not completely to an obsessive degree. He knows how Hell is. People want power, and he's powerful, and you are close to him. He's sure many people are going to go after you, in order to get to him. So, your little relationship is going to be as well protected of a secret as it can be, at first, until he believes he can properly protect you from any danger. And after the secret is out, he's going to be right by your side the entire time. Literally. Whenever he can be, he's next to you. Nobody, except maybe Vox or another pesky overlord, is going to try to hurt you as long as he is there. Even then, he could completely destroy them, anyways!

[niku30]

( SC credit to @randomstoreroom21c )

SHANG TSUNG HCs

I once again can’t stop thinking about MK1 Shang Tsung and his personal life and relationships /struggles / past / so have these rambles, keep im mind that most of these are HCs we came up with for our AU but I think they might generally apply as I just love them so much.

• To most of his allies Shang Tsung is respectable and influential enough to be a collaborator but too alienating and too much of a pathological liar to be a friend or even a partner as soon as they find out what experiments he conducts. This frustrates Shang Tsung because he desperately longs to experience the feeling of being admired. It’s kind of twisted though, because he is entirely unwilling to change his ways even towards other evil-spirited figures and still hopes that someone will love him for what he does as there’s a sense of “look at my power and my deceptive nature and how I simply do not care, isn’t that an attractive quality in and of itself?” He almost expects people to want him for it but it doesn’t occur in his mind that no matter if good or evil people consider working with him his ways will always make him untrustworthy.

• think when he was younger he tried to make genuine connections but usually ended up being discarded or he severed said connections himself because of his deceptive nature - so it never really got anywhere and eventually he turned spiteful without acknowledging that he was often the issue rather than others. It definitely got chaotic and he probably didn’t shy away from manipulating people into desiring him but deep inside he always knew that fake love and fake bonds wouldn’t bring him the satisfaction that he desires. It was always just a means to survival in the end so loyalty of any sort towards him was always forced rather than earned. He so badly wants to mean something to someone but in the end his actions drive everyone away and closer bonds are hardly ever considered. It’s basically an endless cycle he cannot seem to get out of.

• He does not mind having few friends especially due to a past of mutual backstabbings and untrustworthy alliances but he clearly does mind not having admirers as there is a sense of envy over Liu Kang’s power and the admiration he deserves because of his modesty. He was visibly taken aback after finding out that somewhere in other timelines there were versions of him who had actual influence and he asks himself why he was the one deemed “lesser” than his doppelgangers.

• Convincing Bi-Han, the literal grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, probably felt like one of the biggest successes to date for him. He was able to successfully use his schemes to tempt a powerful man into betraying his own family and join forces and it would only make his god complex grow. However he is probably a man who is hardly satisfied whatsoever so the fact that Kuai Liang and Smoke did NOT join would frustrate him to no end - especially because these fighters genuinely appeal to him and he had hoped for things to develop which might seem like a completely delusional desire to outsiders - again this comes from the deep underlying despair of wanting to be noticed and acknowledged but no one ever engages in such a way. He often seeks more in alliances than his partners and therefore he never quite feels fulfilled.

[sasagero]

A3! Act 15 Chapter 19: Actor, Nanao Taichi

NOTE: I am still learning Japanese, so this may not be completely accurate. If you notice any mistakes, feel free to let me know!

Issei: Hey, this is the first time we’re having a one-on-one discussion, isn’t it.

Taichi: P-please take care of me!

Issei: I’ve heard from Tenma about what kind of actor you are, but as the president [of the Sumeragi agency], I’d like to be able to hear all about it from you.

Taichi: Y-you got it!

Issei: You began acting when you were a child, right?

Taichi: Y-yes!

Taichi: But I only appeared as an extra… And then when I eventually auditioned for Godza, I passed as an ensemble member.

Taichi: U-um, from there—

Issei: You don’t need to be so nervous.

Taichi: S-sorry!

Issei: After transferring to MANKAI Company, you’ve played as the lead several times, and lately, you’ve only acted on stage.

Issei: Could you tell me why you wanted to once more take on the challenge of acting in a film?

Issei: To begin with, why did you completely retreat from the film industry…

Taichi: That’s… I was in the same drama as Ten-chan, and his presence and performance on set completely overwhelmed me…

Taichi: No matter how hard I worked, I thought that I could never become someone like that, and I ran away from the film industry.

Taichi: From there, even though I turned to the world of theater, I still found myself failing. It was then that I met Ten-chan again.

Taichi: I definitely had a complex over him at first, but in my current theater troupe, I was able to gain confidence as an actor, little by little.

Taichi: Finally, Ten-chan acknowledged me as a fellow actor and rival.

Taichi: When Ten-chan called me his rival, it made me really happy…

Issei: …So that’s what happened.

Taichi: Right now, Autumn Troupe is heading towards the New Fleur Award, and we’ve all decided to challenge ourselves by trying to break out of our shells.

Taichi: I overcame my setbacks from my previous theater company on stage, so I thought I’d like to try and overcome my setbacks from acting in films, too…

Issei: When you say you overcame those setbacks, you’re referring to “Stray Devil’s Blues,” aren’t you. Tenma told me to watch the clips.

Taichi: Eh, really?!

Issei: In order to understand Taichi Nanao as an actor, he said I should watch it. He picked out some other clips, too.

Taichi: (Ten-chan…! Thank you…!)

Issei: This time, you want to get revenge on set for when you were a kid, right?

Taichi: That’s right.

Issei: However, even with the pressure of an important work looming over you, you picked this difficult role… you’ve got some courage.

Issei: Even though it’s just a one-off drama, the role’s of a young boy who lost his voice after going into psychogenic shock.

Issei: Among all of the offers you received, you picked this complex role well.

Taichi: Because I’ve been unable to give a flashy sort of presence, the only weapon I have is all of the knowledge born from the many experiences I’ve had.

Taichi: I’ve always thought about what other people think of me and how I can attract attention, and I’ve been observing what everyone’s attracted to…

Taichi: I feel like I’ve naturally come to express the little details like people’s gazes and gestures.

Taichi: Also, I’ve seen a lot of actors on a bunch of different sets, and I’ve stolen the things I’m jealous of from my co-stars.

Taichi: Carefully listening to my co-stars’ performances, as well as connecting to more delicate plays—I want to become an actor who can take advantage of both of these skills.

Issei: When I watched the video that Tenma gave me, I felt that I’ve been waiting for someone with a different kind of charm than him…I’m sure that you can become that kind of actor.

Taichi: Thank you so much! When you say that, I feel like I’ve gained some confidence!

Issei: Tenma didn’t only tell me about how you’re an actor, but I’ve heard over and over about how you’ve been his friend commuting to school together throughout high school and college.

Issei: Instead of going to a performing arts school, Tenma went to a normal high school because we thought that by leading the same high school life as his peers, it would enrich his acting life.

Issei: We wanted him to interact with people from his own generation and be inspired by them. In other words, we wanted him to find a rival.

Issei: That, and as parents, we wanted Tenma to make friends that were his age.

Issei: Ever since he was young, he’s been working with adults on the same sets, you see. Well, that might just be a parent’s selfish desire.

Issei: You made that happen, and for that, I’m grateful. As you take your first steps, I’ll be rooting for you.

Taichi: I’ll definitely live up to your expectations, President-san!!

Issei: Of course—but President-san is a little…

Taichi: Yessir, Sumeragi-san!!

Issei: Yes, do your best.

Igawa: Please excuse me.

Issei: We just wrapped up the interview.

Igawa: Thanks for your hard work.

Igawa: Taichi-san, starting tomorrow, let’s work hard in preparation for filming.

Taichi: Yeah!

Tenma: “What’s with your voice…?”

Taichi: “...”

Tenma: You should be conscious of the camera here—with the nature of the scene, I think it’ll come out better if you can effectively express yourself through your facial expression.

Taichi: I see.

Tenma: Not just as an actor of Mankai Company’s Autumn Troupe, but as an actor of the Sumeragi agency, do your best.

Taichi: Hehe, saying that I’m under the Sumeragi agency kinda makes me happy. I’m gonna work hard!

Tenma: How was the interview with my dad?

Taichi: Thanks to Ten-chan, it went smoothly.

Taichi: Ten-chan promoted me so much, I was really happy! Thanks!

Tenma: It’s nothing. I just explained the actor Taichi Nanao in a way that’s easy to understand.

Taichi: Once again, as both your friend and rival, please take care of me!

Tenma: Yeah.

Taichi: From here on, we’ll be coworkers at the same agency, too.

Tenma: That means I’m your senpai.

Taichi: Ahaha, Ten-chan-senpai!

Taichi: So that I don’t embarrass you as your rival, I’m not gonna hold anything back and really get you worked up, so get ready!

Tenma: Looking forward to it.

Tenma: …Speaking of, if my schedule frees up, I might stop by when your filming’s wrapping up.

Taichi: Eh?! That makes me super nervous, you know~!

Tenma: What happened to not holding back?

Taichi: This and that are different~!

[stardusthuntress]

Laced with Love

[formerly The Right Attire]

Hunter x AFAB!reader 

Word Count: ~4.6K

TW: reader has anxiety and some vague, poor past experiences with attempting to be sexy; Hunter is a sweet, comforting, feral partner; the anxiety thing is just a vague attempt at plot so it’s not just smut, but really it’s mostly smut anyways, hehe! Basically, this begs the question: how would Hunter react if his partner put on something tempting and sexy? Needless to say: minors begone!

A/N: I found the below pic on pinterest (I know, not the best way to cite something, sorry, and sorry for the terrible quality of the image!) and it inspired me to write a fic about something similar! I’ve wanted to do something like this but always struggled with it, just like the girl in the image, and I thought this might be a good way to work through those nerves. Feels weird saying I relate to it though, considering I look very different than the depicted female… but I'm not sure why I feel weird about it, I know I shouldn't feel weird about that considering I can still relate to it... Anyways tho, reader isn’t described in detail except to say that she has female body parts so hopefully this works for you regardless of whether you can relate to the image or not! I loved the comments on the image, so hopefully you can still read those too!

I'm considering making this into a series of sorts with one fic for each of the batchers, considering how they would each respond to a partner doing this for them. But I'll probably only do that if people like the idea? What do you guys think? Comments on this idea are welcome!

Just in case it needs to be said again, minors DNI!!!

She was nervous, there was no way around it. She’d only done something like this once, and it hadn’t even remotely gotten the desired effect. To say the least, she’d been flat out ignored. And she hadn’t even gone all out for that partner like she did this time. She didn’t want that experience to hold her back, she wanted a chance to be free to do fun things like this when she wanted for her partner, knowing it would be fun for both of them. But the fear that it would once again be received as poorly as it had last time wouldn’t let her go. It wouldn’t let her pack up the courage and step through the open doorway that she was hiding next to. She leaned against the wall, trying to pack up the courage to just do it. Instead her fears were getting the better of her. With every passing second, she felt less and less like she would ever be able to walk though that door like this. But she’d put so much effort into it, finding the right red and black lace lingerie set that was the right combination of attractive (to catch his eye and hopefully make him just a little feral) and modest (to make her feel okay enough to actually put the damn thing on). But with every second that passed she only succeeded in convincing herself she was not ready for this. 

Her fingers gripped the edge of the door jam tightly to keep from trembling. Hunter was in the other room, doing his own thing, with no idea what she was going through in the hallway. Or so she thought. 

In the other room, somewhere in the recesses of his mind, Hunter had sensed her presence approaching. But he didn’t tune into it until his subconscious informed him that she had been standing just out of view in the hallway for quite some time without ever actually entering the room. 

Worried, he turned towards the door, but didn’t make any moves towards it just yet. Using all his heightened senses to the max in an attempt to figure out what was bothering the woman he loved so much that she wouldn't enter the room. On the edge of the door jam, resting where she thought he couldn’t see it, her fingertips peeked into the room. The pads of her fingers were white from the strength of her grip on the doorframe. 

Hunter stood still and focused on her fingertips for a moment. He could hear her heartbeat. It seemed rather frantic or nervous. And she kept taking deep breaths. They were soft, and barely audible, even to his ears, but clearly nerves. 

Suddenly those fingertips slipped away from the doorframe, and he could hear the soft padding of her feet slip away across the hallway, retreating towards their shared room as quietly as possible. That’s when he knew he had to do something. 

With a few quick steps he burst into the hallway to catch his lovely partner before she tried to deal with it all by herself again. He wanted to be there for her for everything, whether or not she needed him there. 

It wasn’t until he slipped a gentle arm round her waist as she tried to cross into the bedroom that he figured out what it must have been related to. Instead of her usual cotton comfort clothes, his arm brushed against the softest silky material. That was new. She never wore anything except her favoite lounge clothes when they were at home. This was a silken robe that she seemed to be desperately pulling tighter around her as she tried to avoid his eyes. He could feel her heart rate speeding up with nervousness as she glanced desperately around the floor, but for what he wasn’t sure.

Carefully, he spun her towards him so he could figure out what it was. His arms cradled her to him gently, knowing she was too nervous to look at him right now. Instinctively, he pulled her face to his chest so she wouldn’t feel forced to look at him if she didn’t want to. His hands ran up and down her back and arms to soothe her, but beneath the silken robe he could feel her trembling. 

“What’s wrong, Love?” Hunter’s calm voice matching the gentle strength with which he held her. 

“Nnn-nothing,” she mumbled against his bare chest, the turmoil of getting caught by the very man she had initially wanted to catch her 20 minutes ago, but now wanted to hide from, swirling through her mind, turning her thoughts to mush. 

“I know you better than that,” Hunter whispered against her temple, one hand stroking her hair, the other pausing to rub the sleeve between his fingers. “What’s this pretty, soft robe?” He asked softly, no pressure to answer if she didn’t feel up for it. 

“Don’t worry about it… it’s… not important,” she mumbled again. 

He pressed a tender kiss to her temple, hands returning to running up and down her back, comfortingly. As his hands continued up and down in soothing patterns, he noticed the silky fabric seemed to catch every so slightly on what felt like swirling patterns of fabric beneath the thin material. He could feel her legs against her own, no soft pants keeping her even softer skin from his. And he could smell her natural musk stronger than usual. That implied she wasn’t wearing much under that delicate little robe. He hugged tighter, thinking she must be cold, swaying back and forth just a little. 

Suddenly he stilled, her reasons for sneaking around with a soft robe and little to nothing else beneath it became clear to him. He pulled back a bit, so he could look down at her. She felt him pulling back and looked up at him with a worried expression. But his eyes weren’t looking at hers, his eyes were more focused on where her hands still gripped the opening of the robe to pin it tightly closed, as though she was afraid to let him see more of her beneath it. 

His eyes skimmed her trembling form, then returned to her eyes. “Is this…?” He couldn’t keep his eyes on her worried expression, he kept glancing at her white knuckled grip on the robe. He wrapped one hand around hers, rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. “It’s alright Love, you know I love you.” He crooned, forehead resting against hers so he could look into her watery eyes. Her hands were relaxing just a little beneath his comforting movements. 

They stood still, just breathing for a few moments. His presence and gentle habits soothing her nerves, allowing her grip on the hem to loosen ever so slightly. 

“May I?” He asked, ever so slightly beginning to try to tug her hand away from clutching the robe shut. 

She tensed against him, worry painting her brows as she looked away. 

“Please?” He asked so politely, “It’s okay, I’ll be gentle, I promise.” 

She closed her eyes for a second, and took a deep shuddering breath. It was then hat he knew he’d wait an eternity for her to feel comfortable enough to open up to him. 

“I’ve got you,” he crooned, “I’m here for you. You can say no.” He waited patiently, rocking gently, and holding comfortingly. 

After a few moments, she trembled less and he could feel her relaxing against him again. Slowly, her grip on the edge of the robe slipped away. 

Conscious she seemed nervous to let him see, he decided he needed to do more to reassure her. So he scooped her hand into his own, and brought her graceful fingers to his lips. His eyes closed automatically when he kissed her knuckles. And when his lips departed from her hand, they didn’t move far. His lips and breath still danced over her hand, as his eyes slowly opened. His half-lidded eyes found a look of surprise and awe in hers as she watched him intently. 

His gaze slowly trailed back down to the hem of the robe now resting on her chest. The tiniest hint of lace peeked out of the edge as he ran the back of his fingers down the line between fabric and the woman he loved. Ever so gently so that she barely even felt it, he let one finger slip beneath the edge, and he rubbed the soft fabric between his fingers. 

“I like this material,” he murmured, thoughtfully, going slowly to give her more time to decide if she was okay with this. 

She smiled shyly, ducking her head, afraid to admit she was glad he’d a) noticed and b) liked the fabric. She’d tried to think through every detail, not sure how any of the fabrics nor lace patterns would pair with his heightened senses. The corner of her lip twitched up as she looked away, heat rising in her cheeks. Despite her initial panic, maybe this was going okay after all? Her extra effort seemed to be paying off, so far. 

She took a deep breath as Hunter pulled back enough that he could untie the robe and begin to unwrap her frightened exterior. 

He watched her face carefully as she closed her eyes and took one more deep breath, before looking back at his eyes and nodding at him; her way of giving him permission to continue with his current actions. 

Hunter smiled and let his eyes return to the tie looped round her middle. The loose knot came undone without much effort, allowing the fabric panels shielding her from his eyes to slip away. 

Hunter’s jaw hit the floor, and his eyes widened. HIS colors adorned her in the most delicate and beautiful little lace number he’d ever seen. 

“WOW,” he whispered, unable to restrain himself. His self control was wearing thinner and thinner with each passing second. Slow enough that she could easily push him away if she didn’t want it, his hands reached for her hips. 

She’d looked away when she finally let him reveal herself to him. Fear of a repeat of a lack of appreciation for her effort distorting the hope in her minds eye. But his whispered awe and the way his fingertips danced over the details as he carefully examined the pretty patterns of roses and skulls woven into the lace, brought her attention back to him. 

The way he kept licking his lips and swallowing hard as he admired every detail, captured her attention. She’d never had a partner as hungry for her as he was in that moment. His eyes roamed every inch, as he fingers followed, far more soft and appreciative than she’d ever expected a former soldier could be. 

His desperate gaze returned to her face as his arms wrapped around her hips, and he let his forehead rest against hers as he stole one more glance downward. Words were not within his capacity anymore. 

Her palm found it’s way to his chest, just to rest, settling comfortably there. To her surprise, his chest rose and fell rapidly as he tried desperately to get his hormones under control. He quickly moved one hand from her back to her hand on his chest, holding it against the bare skin of his chest so she could feel his heartbeat like he could always sense hers. 

“Damn, woman. You look gorgeous!” His whispered fervently against her temple, he could barely control himself anymore. 

She giggled and hid her face in his neck, letting the occasional giggle surface as she too tried to get her breathing patterns back under control too. 

As she nestled into his chest and neck, her scent flooded his senses. Hunter leaned his head towards hers, placing a kiss on her check, and letting his nose nudge her ear as he took a deep breath of his favorite scent in the galaxy: her. 

She could feel his length hardening against her abdomen as he clutched her tightly to him, his arms wrapped beneath the robe still draped over her shoulders as he let his nose and lips drift softly down her neck. He began to dot languid kisses across the skin now exposed to him, as they became more and more open mouthed and hungry the farther down her neck and shoulders his lips traveled. 

Unable to hold back any longer herself, she whimpered beneath his ministrations. 

Hunter groaned in response. He knew she never fell apart this easily, she must have really wanted this, wanted him! And boy did he want her badly right now! 

Still standing in the hallway, not far from the bedroom door, his hands gripped her hips and steered her backwards against the wall. 

Leaning heavily against her as he gently pinned her to the wall, Hunter surfaced, gasping for breath as he let his head rest against the wall next to hers. She too was panting heavily, he noticed, but there was something more to it too. 

He leaned back enough to look into her face. She was smiling as she clung to him, but in the dim light from the room he’d left only moments before he could see something glistening on her cheek and in her eyes. She was crying. 

He found himself driven to cup her cheek and use his thumb to wipe the tear track from her beautiful face. 

“Was that okay?” He asked, concerned that he might have let himself go too far, still petting her check with his thumb. 

She laughed faintly, nodding happily. “It was wonderful, Hunter.” She pecked his cheek, but let it linger a bit. Hunter hummed in delight, subconsciously leaning into her affections. 

Hunter racked his brain, trying to figure out why her tears carried the scent of both relief and sorrow when the rest of her suggested they should be purely tears of joy. He wanted her to only feel happiness from a moment like this, so he peppered her cheeks and nose with kisses until she giggled and wriggled a bit in his grasp. 

When he stopped, she nuzzled back into his chest, and he held her tight. He could feel her smiling against him again. Relieved that her spirts were picking up, he placed a long kiss on her cheek. 

“Thank you for taking that so well,” she muttered against the hairs on his chest as her fingers played with them ever so slightly. 

“Why wouldn’t—“ he cut himself off, her former nervousness painting a picture for him that he didn’t like. “Someone didn’t take this well in the past?” He asked, delicately. 

She did her best to hide the tension in her limbs when he asked, but he loved her too much fonot to notice. He could feel the slight inhale and teeth clenching as her posture shifted into one of an anxious insecurity. 

His hands returned to their soothing stroking up and down her back and shoulders and he clutched her to him. 

“Well, I love this,” he stated, using the wall as an anchor as he slid one hand beneath her ass to hoist her into his arms. Feeling her warmth through the sheer fabric and her heartbeat so close to his sparked his hunger for her again, he walked swiftly to the bed and clambered onto it, placing her down on the comfy surface. He leaned back again to let his eyes roam her body again and again. The robe had fallen off one shoulder during his quick adjustments to get her to the comfort of their shared room. She rested on her elbows, biting her lip as she looked up at him, brows furrowed with anxiousness, knees on either side of his hips. “I really love this.” He swooped back down to her, needing to feel her warmth against him again, pressing hot kisses to her neck and upper chest. “Just like I love you.” He whispered in her ear, “so much.” His panting was growing louder and louder as his hands roamed her body. “I will always love you… always!… and things like this.” 

He groaned loudly as she pressed up into him, wanting to feel his hardness where she needed it most. Needing the same, he kicked off his pants and boxers then gripped her thigh and maneuvered it to once again wrap around his hips, like she’d done when he’d picked her up only moments ago. 

In response, she quickly wrapped her other leg back around his waist and locked her ankles behind him. Hunter moaned again in satisfaction, pressing her into the bed with everything he had. There was no holding back now, he needed her to know how deeply he wanted her right now. 

She could feel Hunter losing control, becoming more and more feral with each passing breath that danced across her skin. 

He seemed to be enjoying alternating between the different sensations of tasting her through the sheer fabrics and slipping his hands and tongue beneath them. 

“Will you keep this on for me, Babe?” He asked, panting hard as he searched for her eyes again. 

She shyly glanced away, trying hard to look back at his eyes, but the intensity with which he looked at her made her nervous. She’d never had someone this hungry for her before. It made it difficult to find any words at all to tell him what she wanted, even though she knew that’s what they both needed her to do right now. 

“Oh! Dank ferrik! You want me to take this off of you, don’t you?” Hunter’s excitement was palpable. 

She bit her lip and nodded, eyes finally able to look into his for more than a second or two again, grateful he’d put it to words when she couldn’t. 

Hunter’s restraint snapped when she nodded. His roaming grip on her tightened, his groans deepened, and his lips and teeth became less forgiving as his need to mark his woman in appreciation rose to an all time high. Feral Hunter was loud and needy, and she loved it. 

Her hands gripped him to her with a strength he had only seen on the battlefield as she arched beneath him. One hand fisted in his hair, the other letting her nails scratch their way down his back, making him shiver with arousal. 

His hands still roamed and massaged with intensity as his mouth explored, fervently. 

Too needy to move the pretty lace off of her wetness, he began thrusting against her, making the bed bounce. The friction of the lace spreading the wetness of her arousal across his cock was one of the most amazing sensations, he decided. And based on the way she’d thrown her head back and began meeting his every thrust with one of her own, she must also have liked it as much as he did. 

Desperate to make her fantasies come true, his fingers searched the delicate lace and silky straps crisscrossing her back in a frenzy until he figured out how to get it off of her. 

Suddenly between thrusts she became aware of the cool air of the room on her chest again and realized he had figured out how to unwrap his present. She looked back down at him as his thrusts slowed and found him admiring the soft patterns on her wrappings, before winking up at her and diving down to suck her nipple into his mouth. The force of his thrusts picked up again, making him moan into her breast with every push of his hips. The bed shifted and squeaked beneath them, but they didn’t care. 

Hunter’s strong grip squeezed the plush of her thighs as he massaged and spread them. His lips slipped from her breasts with a pop and began to trail languid, open mouthed kisses down her tummy towards his favorite taste in the galaxy. 

His fingers danced beneath the pretty lace and satin straps, playing first with the lace and then with her folds as his nose nudged her clit. He paused for a moment, breathing deep, letting his nose and lips press against her through the mesh of fabric. 

Without warning, he licked a quick stripe up the lace and plunged a finger as deep into her as her body would let him. 

She arched with a breathy squeal. The feeling of Hunter smirking against her as his lips sought her pearl through the lingerie making her pant harder. When his mouth found it’s goal, he sucked hard, wanting to keep her back arched like that for as long as possible. And just when she thought he might let her relax it, he curled his finger into her, pressing into that lovely spot deep within. 

There was no holding back the impassioned way she cried out with pleasure when Hunter turned feral like this. Once again, she found herself white knuckling the fabric around her, but this time it was the bedsheets as Hunter rewarded her courageous attempt to rile him up with his unbridled, passionate affections. 

She was still panting hard, the arch in her back unrelenting as he massaged a second finger into her to press into that spongey spot. His fingers moved in small circles as he did his best to give her sensations of both thrusting and attention to that little, internal button. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted her tight grip on the sheets. His free hand shot out to slide his fingers between her own. He wanted to feel her desperation for him. He needed to know how good he made her feel. 

Her fingers closed tightly around his own, as he continued to suck on her pearl and swirl his fingers inside her. The circles he rubbed into her insides became more tighter, mirrored only by her grip on his hand. 

As she neared her release, he became desperate to feel her coating his cock as they climaxed together. His need quickly grew into an uncontrollable desire, and he quickly pulled out of her. 

Her squeak of despair only spurred him on as he quickly sucked her juices from his fingers. Only letting his eyes roll back and close for just a moment, before popping back open to focus on her as he crawled hungrily up her body. On his way, he licked a strip across one nipple, enjoying her noises. 

He hovered over her, his hunger evidence in his eyes as they bore into her own. 

“Hunter,” she murmured, voice a little hoarse. 

Hunter smirked, watching her lips for a moment, barely holding himself back from continuing to ravage her as he attempted to catch his breath. 

He licked his lips, finally able to find his voice again, “I need… to be inside you,” he panted. 

“Yes, please!” She whispered against his lips as she tugged him down to bring his mouth to hers again. 

Hunter groaned happily, aware and proud of how often she’d pulled such noises from his lips tonight. 

As she clung to him, he rolled, putting her on top of him, and manuvering her legs parallel to his own. His hands returned to grasping at the plush of her hips, but this time from beneath the stretchy straps. He used his thumbs to coax the last of her garments down her thighs. 

She tried to wriggle off of him to help him get it off, but he wasn’t having it. His hands immediately left her hips, sliding upwards until he could hoist her body higher up his own until her breasts were level with his face, careful not to smack her into the wall behind them. She giggled as he rolled her again, using his tongue on her breasts to encourage her to keep her body flush against his own as he maneuvered her panties from her body. But instead of flinging them across the room, like he usually did, he stashed them under his pillow with one hand, still sucking her breasts as he did so. 

“Oh, Hunter!” She cried out, watching him. 

Hunter chuckled against her, licking his way down her body again, leaning to one side for one last taste of her pussy before again covering her with his own body. His lips sought the companionship of her own as soon as his heat settled over hers. Teeth clashed and tongues entwined, as their arms and legs tangled together. He ground his length down against her wetness, making sure they were both well lubricated as he adjusted his hips to line himself up. 

“You ready, Babe?” He asked, mouth never leaving hers. 

“Hurry up and get inside me, Handsome,” she breathed back against his lips. 

Slow and sensual was no longer on Hunter’s agenda after a request like that. With a groan, he thrust in fast and hard. She arched against him, and he could feel the vibrations of her humming in ecstasy against his tongue as she began rolling her hips against his own. Hunter began to frantically hammer her into the bed, both of their rhythms rapidly deteriorating into erratic patterns as they neared their releases together. The way her walls pulsed, tugging him deeper and deeper with every thrust only urged him to thrust harder. 

“Where?” He gasped, worried he wouldn't be able to pull out in time if she asked for it. 

“IN,” she nibbled his lip, “Inside! Inside!” Her desperation leaving her stuck on repeat for a moment until his tongue distracted her as he moaned in acknowledgement. 

He enjoyed the feeling of her bouncing against him as they both hit their peaks, simultaneously. They both cried out, lips separating, as they skyrocketed into hyperspace, clinging tightly to each other. As he pulsed within her, her fluttering walls continued to tug him deeper and deeper. 

Slowly, each found their way back to the present moment, but made no move to unwrap their intertwined limbs. Instead, they simply remained where they were, reveling in the feeling of their shared wetness as it overflowed. Hunter shifted slightly, enjoying the feeling of tightness still clinging to him. 

She stroked his hair, attempting to fix his bandana, which must have been set askew when she tugged on his hair earlier. 

Hunter laughed as he relaxed against her, using one hand to swipe the bandanna off of his head, and slip it onto hers instead. 

She laughed too, stealing a few more kisses from his lips. 

He propped himself up with his forearms framing her face, and looked down at her, glad that he was able to wipe the insecurity from her mind. 

Beneath him, she continued to lean up and snag kisses here and there, making him chuckle again. He returned his head to the crook of her neck, still on top of her, her legs locked around his waist. 

“Can we stay like this for a while?” He asked, uncharacteristically shy. 

“Yes!” She whispered back, “I’d gladly stay like this until tomorrow morning… if that was something you wanted?” 

Hunter hummed his agreement, and made himself comfortable atop her, tugging a blanket over the top. “Wake you up in the morning to more if you’d like?” He mumbled against her neck, as the sleepiness began to set in. 

He could feel her smile against his hairline as she whispered back, “Yes, please!”

“And can we get you more of these soft lace things?” He asked, his hand playing with the piece he’d hidden beneath his pillow earlier. “And can we do this more often?” 

“I’m glad you liked it that much. I wasn’t sure if you would. Do you want to pick the next one out with me?” She murmured. 

Hunter shivered in anticipation, and licked her neck in answer. 

“I take that as a yes?” she giggled. 

“Mmm-hmm,” he grinned, nuzzling into her hair, “I will gladly help with that!” 

Please don’t steal my work! I pour my heart into these so if you like it please reblog to share instead of reposting it!

Again, please let me know if you think I should make a series with one fic for each of the batchers (and maybe a few bonus Boys in Blue and/or Orange too!)

taglist: @amorfista (I'm pretty sure I'm missing a few people tho, I need to make an actual signup thing for this soon)

[iwoszareba]

i wanted to introduce some characterisation for Qurin in wotr and since i enjoy doing banters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Qurin is a sister of my Knight Commander Aqil Meru, she’s kitsune/ifrit, background: guard, class: Mixed-Blood Rager/Scaled Fist

—

Qurin: I never expected to see a paladin dancing on a table, but I’m sure glad I did!

Seelah: Ha! And this paladin was glad to see a monk willing to join her.

—

Ember: I was wondering… do you know any stories? Aqil often makes up little stories for me and Soot.

Qurin: Sure thing, kiddo. I may not be as fancy with words as he is but I would not shame my kin by not being able to tell a decent tale.

—

Camellia: Do I understand correctly that your parents sent you away to undergo monastic training because they couldn’t handle your bad temper?

Qurin: What? No. They wanted me to be able to handle it myself, for my own good.

—

Qurin: Don’t you ever think about dropping that bow to go fight up close and personal? That’s where things are most fun!

Lann: You can call me old-fashioned but I was always a little more concerned with survival rather than fun.

—

Qurin: I’m not a demon so I can’t guarantee these will be effective with whatever you have going on, but if you want I could show you some techniques that help to stay calm and grounded.

Arueshalae: That’s a generous offer, I would like to give it a try. Especially with someone to guide me through it.

—

Woljif: So you are from this famous wizard family and you really can’t cast none? Not even simple spells?

Qurin: You see kid, my magical power is getting real mad so I can beat up fools who just don’t know when to shut the fuck up.

—

Qurin: I sometimes catch myself thinking how pretty you are but thankfully you always find something annoying to say to bring me back to reality.

Daeran: I did not expect you to be a sensitive sort! But I will keep in mind that you find me attractive.

—

Qurin: I’m not saying that romance is a hoax, I’m just saying I don’t feel it. And don’t fucking dare “maybe you haven’t met the right person” me.

Sosiel: I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention to upset you. As a cleric of Shelyn love occupies much of my thoughts and I admit it can colour my perspective. Your heart is clearly filled with much passion and care, no matter what form it takes.

—

Regill: Your keen perception and martial skills are commendable but your volatile temper makes them worthless in a military setting.

Qurin: Please, I’m not an army person. I’m interested in receiving orders only for good money or considerable pleasure.

—

Wenduag: Everyone sees you as angry and unpredictable but I can see the truth. You are holding back. Why?

Qurin: Unchecked fire spreads quickly and I’m not the one to worship ashes.

—

Nenio: Fire girl, stand still and open your palms! I must conduct an experiment to determine if your hands can be used as a cooking surface.

Qurin: Already ahead of you, the answer is yes.

—

Greybor: I expected you to have more objections towards my company, considering our professions. I admit, I’m pleasantly surprised.

Qurin: Oh, it’s really simple, I’m smart enough to know that being a personal guard has no future without people with murder on their minds.

—

Ulbrig: So being from a family of witches changed your body so? They must wield some truly frightful powers.

Qurin: Uh, no. That part has nothing to do with their magic, but rather my family’s dalliance with genies of the desert. I’m sure Aqil could tell you who exactly and how many generations ago if you care for such details.

—

Trever: Do you ever regret being here? In this demon-infested nightmare?

Qurin: I hope you are not trying to get out of me some secret truth Sosiel was unwilling to share with you, because that’s just silly. But listen… I do not regret coming here to help my brother, not even for a second.

[limey-self-inserts]

*the doorbell rings and when you answer you see a small box at your doorstep with a big red ribbon bow. When you open it, it has questions written on it in okayish handwriting and a note that reads 'for your Castlevania self insert please?'*

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

6. does your self insert have any pets?

14. what hobbies does your self insert have?

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

Santiago @tex-treasures

hi hi Santiago! thank you so very much for this, also I have your Arcane ask in my Drafts, it's on hold because I want to make a drawing for it <3 but it will be answered too!

but I'm very excited for this because I basically never talk about Crow (my Castlevania insert) and now I have the opportunity to do so!

2. when in canon does your self insert come in? do you have a scene in mind for your entrance?

Crow makes their first appearance in Season 2, at the first gathering of Dracula's council. they appear with Hector and Isaac, in similar sort of uniform, making it fairly easy to mistake them for a human just like the other two. in fact, most of the vampires assume as such, and make passing comments that at least two of Dracula's human generals are Forgemasters but they see no point for keeping the third one around except perhaps for moral.

it's only when Hector and Isaac themselves make more comments on Crow's uncomfortable presence, as well as the camera panning towards the ceiling of the grand hall to reveal dozens of crows, some of which blink with blue eyes, that it's suggested that Crow is not as human as the vampire council suspects.

5. does your self insert have any special powers or abilities?

Crow is in actuality a fae. their main power comes in their ability to see through the eyes of any crow. any crow. they have a natural attraction for the birds, able to manifest a flock as soon as they move into a new area, but remain capable of turning their vision to that of a bird halfway across the country. it makes them Dracula's best spy, inside and outside the castle, and later makes them a perfect scout and guard for Alucard.

they are also able to 'dematerialise' their human form, turning instead into a flock of crows. they are also capable of returning to their usual fae form, but that is only for life-or-death emergencies, something that Taka and Sumi certainly cause.

6. does your self insert have any pets?

does Crow's flock count? because if so, yes, and like....30 of them at any given time.

14. what hobbies does your self insert have?

they do a lot of writing in their downtime. they regularly refer to themselves as 'a transcriber of history', one of the apparent reasons they joined Dracula's court when he began the purging of Wallachia. their writings tend to be a mixture of historical accounts, daily diary keeping, and poetry. they also love love reading books.

when Alucard finds them loitering in the husk of Dracula's castle, he enlists them into helping clear the place up and take inventory. during this time, he ropes them into learning how to cook, and they really take to it. soon enough they're making meals on a regular basis and trying to experiment themselves, finding recipe books from the Belmont hold and scattering them through Alucard's kitchen. they make up for a lack of utilising salt by going all in on different herbs, spices, and sauces.

16. freebie! name a fact about your self insert you want everyone to know.

Crow follows by the fae rulings of favours and exchanges. it's unknown by the rest of Dracula's Court why they chose to be one of his generals, but in truth they were the one to first open the bargaining doors with Dracula - he would gain the eyes and ears of the nation, and they would gain a front row seat to one of the largest events of the century. it was one of the main ways Dracula knew that despite Crow's human appearance, they weren't even slightly human, to see humanity being wiped from a land as 'an event'. something for them to record, as with many other things, and move on.

it turns out being close to people, instead of observing from a distance, changes someone inherently.

[darianias]

Is this normal for Demis or are these just me???

I have ADHD so this just getting bigger lol but I guess this can apply to anyone, esp the second part, but in this case it's in a semi context for me?

A fun and interesting aspect of being #demisexual and #demiromantic (at least towards functional characters in my case as that's what this is about and I've only ever felt this way towards them, probably a psychological thing tbh) or it could just be a me thing... Either way!

Is that the longer I hyperfixate or enjoy a fandom for extended periods of time I tend to slowly fall for more people even YEARS after I started it and I pick it back up later. 😂

Like in Demon Slayer / Kimetsu no Yaiba this past week or the week before I fell for Obanai. Like I had no inkling of an idea that this would happen . I have now fallen for all but one of the Hashira men (men, not male), Gyomei and also have fallen for Yoriichi.

Like... when I first watched it, I would not of been able to tell you this, heck I believe when I first read/finished the manga I had one. ONE guy I simped for being Kyojuro, I believe. Maybe two (second being Giyu) as I have no sense of time, but I know Sanemi was the third for me, and that happened AFTER I finished the manga.

Like I felt nothing for most of them, heck any of them for a while, given I watched season 1 when it came out partially and felt nothing, then the rest when the Mugen train movie came out, still nothing. Then I watched the second season and read the manga and finished it immediately after. (The second season being when I was like Oh SHIT. NO. HE DIES. HEART WHYYY) And now I feel like I am unintentionally "playing pokemon" with the adult male slayers (to count Yoriichi in) like.... 😂

I don't think I'll fall for any of the Oni / demons.... but that's under my terms as for me looking at their human forms and the Oni / demon forms is like comparing Crisis Core Sephiroth to when the Jenova virus/genetics has taken over his mind, or like a zombie virus, they aren't quite the same people imo. Like I simp for Sane Sephiroth, not the most famous/infamous one lol. So like an example: Hakuji =/= Akaza, as he's not himself when he's an Oni.

That being said I've gotten attached to a few of those former lives so time will tell I guess? If that attachment will go anywhere else? 😂😅

(Note: so far I've never felt that sort of attraction towards women- just squishes, would like to be QPPs or kinning at most- so I'm assuming I'm demi-het but I don't have enough experience with NB characters to know yet for sure. But for all I know any of that can change. 🤷‍♀️ Everytime I happens in general it takes me by surprise lol)

ALSO THINKING ABOUT HAVING FEELINGS ABOUT TWO DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF CHARACTERS, this might get controversial/ me cancelled but fuck it

A REALLY WEIRD THING (might also just be a me thing, that might get me cancelled but y'know fuck it) is being attracted to a character's adult version, like in fan art??? So like attracted to aged up versions of characters.

For example, Eijiro Kirishima from MHA. Like I feel absolutely nothing towards canon Kirishima other than he's a sweet baby that needs protected at all costs. But then I saw a fan art of adult him huge and buff/beef cake with long but still kinda spiky hair similar to l Ryoma from Fire Emblem Fates or Like Axel/Lea from Kingdom Hearts (that might of been not helping ) and I feel attracted to that specific version of him. Like very, very, specifically, even other fanarts of a grown up versions of him just doesn't hit me without that hair or him without long hair and idk why. I don't normally feel attracted to someone bc of physical qualities so I cannot even phantom an explainstion😅😂

LIKE THIS PICTURE RIGHT HERE, THIS EXACT PICTURE STARTED IT I HAD TO GO FIND IT and it just makes me feel mushy everytime, credit in alt text:

So like when I watch the anime or read the manga it just feels like looking at an old school picture book, photo albums and videos at MOST. Like PRECIOUS BEAN, I protecc. That is a child, a puppy. I could NEVER. And then I see the fan adult version of him and I swear it's like two brothers?? or a dad and son??? but it's the same character and like...?? It makes me feel real weird and awkward bc like... yeah he has Kirishima's personality 1:1 but I don't feel that way about actual canon Kirishima myself as that is A HUGE NO. That is a baby in my eyes.💀🤢 Like I legitimately usually watch/read with me thinking of me/my sona as married to Aizawa and helping the class or with Keigo/Hawks. (Or a sane, au version of Touya/Dabi but that's less typical bc the canon one also is a big no for me, he is scary 😬😰)

This also has happened with Bakugo and Shouto too later, like.... y'all need to stop with the adult versions of them bc they're making me feel things which are kinda controversial (at least on TikTok) which makes me feel kinda anxious about it all 😵‍💫, and then like I create two versions of them in my head because I just love the fandom adult versions of them??? And it feels separate from the canon version?

And at least with TikTok's climate I couldn't tell many people this in like comments, bc they immediately assume I am a predator- which like esp if not specified I can get 💯 but like. It's not like that 💀 I stumbled upon some fan art of a guy who could be his elder brother or father and like that is who I like.

Is this somewhat normal or just me??? 😭😰

[thetravelingmaster]

Pleasure Collars & Happy Neighbors

Female’s Point of View - Conditioning - Magic - Mindless

As I leaned back on the wall, waiting for Ashley to come back with our drinks, I watched the penthouse party unfold and marveled. The fact that it was an all girl party didn’t surprise me because every tenant in my apartment complex were women. It was one of the reasons why I was attracted to this particular listing. It certainly wasn’t because of the underlying tight knit community that thrive here… I still wonder how I would have reacted to it if I would have been told about it before I actually joined. I probably wouldn’t have understood it as I do now and most likely, I would have passed this amazing place over and looked elsewhere.

​If I didn’t know what I know now, walking into our party would have led me to believe that this was some sort of post-graduate Sorority that was having a costumed theme party or a Victoria Secret event… Still, I was pretty open before I moved here, so at the very least, I’d like to think I wouldn’t have been shocked to step into an all girl party where everyone wore nothing more than lingerie. What would have surely puzzled me however, would be watching the effect our handsome host had on every single girl in the room. I wouldn’t have been able to understand how one guy could generate so many hungry looks, or the instant attention we all gave him the moment he stepped in. And if I wouldn’t have been able to understand that, I certainly wouldn’t have been able to grasp how every tenant in the building would agree to play the very adult games he proposed to entertain us. Most likely, I would have turned tailed and left these wonderful people to enjoy whatever it was they were into. No harm no foul. But if I had… Then I wouldn’t have been able to experience what they all experience and I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to discover the hidden parts of myself that allows me to thoroughly enjoy the party and community I unwittingly joined when I moved in. I saw Ashley, the red head that lived one floor up from me, walking towards me with drinks and my drifted down to the leather choker that wrapped lovingly around her neck. The sight of it made me smile as my mind went down memory lane. Back to when I first moved in… “Hi there!” I heard a man’s voice say as I turned the lock to my new apartment. “You must be the new tenant!” I turned to look and smiled at the cute guy coming towards me in the hallway. “That’s right!” I said with a smile. “Hi! I’m Hailey! Nice to meet you!” “I’m William!” he said with a warm, easy smile. “Welcome to the building!” “You live here too?” I asked, a bit puzzled. “I thought they only allowed women in this building.” “They do.” he said. “All the residents are girls. All except the owner of course!” I blinked. “You own this building?” I asked. “I do!” he said as he looked up at the ceiling, arms going up dramatically. “I own this whole building and everything in it!” His tone sounded almost like a cartoon and it made us both laugh. “Wow...” I said chuckling. He looked so young to be into the real-estate business. “I know... Sometimes I can’t believe how lucky I was to be able to buy this thing! But anyway... I just wanted to give you a welcoming gift since you are new to our lovely little community.” “Oh gosh...” I said as I looked at the small box he took out of his pockets. “There’s really no need... Everyone I met this week has been super nice and welcoming!” “I bet! I must admit that I don’t allow just anyone to live here... The rent might be cheap, but I make a point to have only a select type of person rent out my apartments. I want this to be a secure and homely building for all of us.” His smile was so charming. “And so far, I must admit that you are right. This building is VERY welcoming and homely! I can’t believe I managed to get it actually!” “Oh don’t be modest! One look at you and I just knew you would fit in immediately!” “Thanks! I really appreciate it.” I said. “Any time!” he said as he extended his gift towards me. “Now please... Accept this small token of welcome.” I took the box from his hands and smiled. “Sure.” I said as I started to open the lid. Inside, I was surprised to find a simple leather choker. I expected fruits or some sort of gift basket. Certainly not cheap jewelry! I picked it up and held it in front of my eyes. “It’s not much I admit...” he said. “But I make them myself. Note the extensive engravings.” I blinked and looked at the choker again. He makes these? Ok... Well... It was sweet that he actually thought to give me something he made himself, but still, he really shouldn’t have. Looking at the surface of the choker, I could see the engravings he was talking about. Wow... There were a lot! From afar, it didn’t seem that there was anything, but up close, the design became apparent. I had to admit, the craftsmanship was pretty awesome. “I see them.” I said. “It must have taken you a while! Is that some sort of writing I can see here?” “Maybe...” he said as he shrugged his shoulders. “I saw it in some old book and I thought it looked nice.” “It kind of does!” I said. “Try it on! I’m sure it will suit you!” he said with a hopeful smile. I wasn’t going to put it on, but his sincere smile and the fact that he had actually made it kind of pushed me to at least try it on. So I smiled and wrapped it around my neck. The clasp was a little hard to work and he offered to help. After a few moments, he was done and stepped back to look at me. “So... How does it look?” I asked as I lifted my hair up and twisted left and right. He smiled and admired my neck for a moment before he spoke. “Wow... It looks incredible on you!” he said. “You look positively... Sibebearp Melicod!” “What?” I asked, thoroughly confused. “I’m afraid I... Don’t ... Know...” My head suddenly pounded as a wave of heat went down my body. I had troubles with my diets before and it felt a lot like my blood pressure suddenly dropped. I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath. Woah... Where did that come from? “You ok?” he asked. “Yeah... Sorry... Just a bit dizzy...” I said as I took another breath. “I’m fine now...” I straightened up and looked at William, immediately noticing the concerned look on his face. “No really. I’m fine!” I assured him as I felt the wave and headache subside. “If you say so...” he said before smiling. “What were we saying?” I asked, suddenly unsure about what we were talking about. “Nothing much, just telling you that I was the one to call for any and all problems regarding your apartment. I may be the owner, but I’m also the super! So don’t hesitate to call ok?” he said as he gave me a business card. “I’ll make sure to do that!” I said. “Anyway...” he said looking at my door. “I need to check something in your apartment real quick. Let’s go inside.” I blinked as my first thought was to wonder why he assumed I would let him in. But that thought soon faded away as I couldn’t see why I wouldn’t. After all, he was the owner right? I smiled and opened the door, feeling a small tingle of joy as I did. “Be my guest!” I said as I let him in.

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[rocorambles]

Until Death Do Us Part

Pairing: Akaashi x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Yandere, NSFW, Sea Warlock!Akaashi, Mermaid Reader, Non-Con/Rape, Mind Control, Body Modification

Summary: As a little girl you’ve always dreamed of marriage, but maybe you should have been more careful of who you decided to exchange eternal vows with.

This is for @terushimooo's Aquatic August collab. Happy swimming~

You love Itachiyama, love waking up and seeing the endless sea of blue, love waving down at all the sea creatures, sirens, mermaids, and so much more who cheerfully greet you. You love Itachiyama and Itachiyama loves you, the citizens of your kingdom eagerly calling your name and shoving free samples of tasty food and merchandise in your hand as you swim by the marketplace, excited to interact with their favorite (and only) princess.

But as much as you genuinely love your realm, you’ve always been too curious for your own good, your sheltered life forcing your imagination to go wild as you listen intently to merchants and travelers from out of town who tell you about corners of the ocean and sea creatures you’ve never even heard of.

There’s a limit to how much pretty words and mental images can satisfy you and your cousins Sakusa and Komori roll their eyes and sigh when you begin to repeatedly try sneaking out from their protective watch, eager to experience what lies beyond the borders of your safe haven.

It’s a comic joint effort between the citizens, your cousins, and the royal guards as they all work to keep you as safe as they can. It becomes a game of sorts, one that they all begrudgingly begin to enjoy, and laughter fills the kingdom when citizens take turns cheering for you or your cousins as Sakusa and Komori rapidly swim after you, leaving ripples and bubbles in your wakes as your tails flick back and forth.

They’re hesitant to let you wander off on your own at first, the creatures of your realm and the palace guards begging you to at least let them accompany you when you’re insistent about exploring the surrounding areas. Sakusa scolds you, always dragging you back to the palace when you do manage to escape, although you hide your smile when you see how he wordlessly takes all your new discoveries from you and carries them back for you. Komori also nudges you back when he’s the one sent to find you, although he always lets you wander around for a while longer when he does locate you, indulging your whims before finally enticing you back home with the promise of a new seashell necklace, his treat.

But over time they begin to relax, just wishing you safe travels and exploring when they do see you ready to slip past the border, Sakusa and Komori reminding you not to stray too far and not to stay out too late when their schedules don’t permit them to leave with you.

You love meeting new people, exploring new towns, seeing the sights outside of the bubble you’ve grown up in. But novelty wears off and even the surrounding territories begin to become familiar to you, an old itch beginning to creep inside of you once again, a desire to see even more churning inside of you. And it’s that yearning inside of you that has you secretly wandering in a different direction one day, going far further than you’ve ever been before, leading you to Akaashi’s lair.

Akaashi sees you long before you even realize you’re in his territory and he’s intrigued to say the least. He can’t even count the number of greedy, selfish, desperate souls who’ve sullied his grounds, disgustingly groveling at his feet, whining for their wishes and desires to be granted. But you? You’re different. He can tell just by how unaware and genuinely curious you are as your eyes flit about the unknown area, ooh-ing and aah-ing at the site of different coral and species of fish you’ve never seen.

You’re not here for him. He’s sure you don’t even know exactly whose lands you’ve naively fluttered upon. And before he even realizes what he’s doing, his legs have transitioned into a mass of swirling tentacles, rocketing him towards your direction.

When’s the last time he’s talked to someone outside of the lowlife scum who begged and pleaded for his help? When’s the last time he was able to enjoy another’s company? The warmth of another’s body entwined with his?

There’s a painful tug at his heart when he sees how you tense at his presence, fear lacing your gaze when you connect the mass of glossy black tentacles on his lower half and his piercing blue orbs to his true identity.

It’s not hard to understand exactly who you’re face to face with, the rumors of the sea warlock’s appearance and reputation having spread far and wide. You’ve always been horrified by the stories you’ve heard. Maybe it’s because you’re far too simple-minded, far too easily satisfied as both your cousins fondly tease you about. But you can’t imagine wanting anything enough to give up your voice, your tail, your ability to love and laugh.

You know Akaashi only takes from those who seek his help, that you technically have nothing to fear. But you still cower in front of him, folding your tail in front of you and clutching it to your chest, a small silly part of you scared that he’d snatch it away from you.

The gesture makes Akaashi laugh and you stare wide-eyed at the handsome creature in front of you, your tail slowly flopping from your arms and floating freely as you let the lovely tinkle of his laugh echo around you.

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on taking your tail. Unless you’ve come here for me to grant a request?”

You furiously shake your head from side to side, still a little apprehensive as he sends a small amused smile your way. But as he continues talking, you can feel the tension ease from your body, your body matching Akaashi’s pace as he gives you a tour of his neck of the woods. He’s so well-spoken, a soothing tone to his voice that easily lulls you into a sense of peace as you eagerly listen to him tell you about the local wildlife and terrain.

He tells you stories of worlds and creatures you can’t even begin to fathom. He tells you of life above the waters and in the sky. And you find yourself returning back to him over and over again, although it would be a lie to say it’s purely out of a desire to learn more.

Your curiosity is as insatiable as always, but you get distracted more often than not when Akaashi speaks. You get lost staring at that striking face and into those gorgeous eyes. Your eyes glitter in awe as he effortlessly transitions between gracefully swimming upon a mass of tentacles to fluttering two human legs in the sea, appendages you’ve never seen before.

You’re falling fast and hard for the sea warlock and you don’t think there’s any going back.

Akaashi knows there’s no going back.

He’d fallen for you the second you had opened up to him, the moment you had seen him as just another creature to befriend instead of a wish given genie whose only purpose was to dole out wishes. And he’s not ignorant to the way your eyes wander across his figure, his face, how you badly try to hide your growing attraction to him.

So it only makes sense that he doesn’t resist temptation anymore now that he knows the feelings are mutual and he hungrily lets his tentacles wind around your waist, pulling you towards him so he can embrace you in his warms, closing his eyes in bliss as your barely covered torso presses against his own bare chest. One of his hands snakes to unclasp your seashell top while his lips devour yours, sighing at how sweet you taste.

But he grimaces in displeasure when your tail begins to wildly flail from side to side, your hands annoyingly pressing against his chest. And he pulls back, brows furrowed as he tries to understand what’s wrong, only to scowl when he sees hesitation tinged with fear in your pretty eyes.

He thought you were far beyond this point. What is there to be scared of? Why are you so skittish? But he hasn’t gotten as far as he has by blowing his fuse so he forces his tentacles to relinquish you, lightly replacing them with his hands as he brings you over to his bed, letting you sit on his lap and tuck your head under his chin as he gently rubs his thumbs soothingly over your waist.

It’s a good sign that you feel comfortable enough to bury your face in his chest and he lets you sit there silently, waiting for you to speak up. And his patience is rewarded when you nervously draw aimless partners on his skin as you begin to talk.

He bites back a laugh when you ramble on about how you’ve never even had a boyfriend before, never done more than platonically hug and kiss your family and friends. This is all so new to you and isn’t it too fast, too soon? What even are the two of you? Does he even like you? Love you? You don’t want to be just a notch in his bedpost. You want to date, get married, have a family. Only married people can do the things...the things that…

You trail off in embarrassment, unsure how to even phrase things you’ve only whispered about in hushed voices with your friends, that you’ve never experienced for yourself before. But your face heats when a low chuckle reverberates in your ears, gasping when one of Akaashi’s hands digs into your skin, the other traveling sensually up your spine before roughly grabbing the back of your head and pulling you in for a kiss that’s all heady hunger that leaves you breathless.

It would be so easy to just give in, to melt and moan as his nails threaten to pierce your skin, his arms caging you against him until all you can feel, see, and smell is him. Your tongues entangle with each other and you gasp when his fingers begin to slip under a seashell, the other hand teasing the transition of skin to scale. But when he begins to tweak a nipple and palm your ass, you’re jolted back to reality, the morals of chastity and purity you’ve been raised with battling against the temptation of Akaashi’s touch.

“Wait, Keiji. Wait!”

This time there’s no hiding his irritation and you flinch at the annoyance in his eyes as he stares you down, a coldness in his face you’ve never seen before. But you press on, believing that if he truly cared for you, he’d understand. All your girlfriends had told you that if you found the right one, they’d be patient, they’d wait until you were ready.

“I- I really like you, but I don’t think I’m ready for this yet. I want to go on dates, get engaged, get married. And maybe it’s old-fashioned, but I want our first time to be our wedding night, after we’ve said our vows and promises to be together forever.”

“You want to be together forever?”

Akaashi can’t help but smile at the hopeful look in your eyes when you nod your head in affirmation.

“Then until death do us part.”

You’ve always wondered what magic would look or feel like and now you know. You whimper as you feel something powerful, something foreign surge through you, Akaashi’s eyes glowing far more than they should, the shadows of his cave seeming to grow and loom over the two of you. There’s a searing pain on your lower abdomen and the expanse of your chest and you scream as it fills like your tail is being torn into two.

And suddenly there’s a feeling of something wrapping around your heart, an ache between your legs-

Your legs?

You stare in horror, tears forming in your eyes when you see your beautiful tail replaced by two legs, strange black markings permanently engraved over your womb, the scrawl of Akaashi’s name taunting you from its loving placement above your heart.

“Don’t cry, my love. Look we can match now. Consider it a reminder of our new beginning together, the start of the rest of our lives.”

This is a mockery of everything you’ve believed a marriage to be and you only sob harder as Akaashi pins you on your back, his legs in between yours pushing them apart. But he tires of your pained and agonized cries and you gasp as the new markings decorating your skin begin to glow blue. Fear is replaced with lust and all you can think of is Akaashi, all you want is Akaashi, all you need is Akaashi.

There’s just enough of your own will to know this isn’t right, this isn’t truly you. But you can’t do anything against your body and mind’s cravings, the way you instinctively lean into every kiss, every touch. Is this how it always feels? You can’t tell if the delirious pleasure you’re feeling is normal or if it’s being heightened by whatever incantation Akaashi has you under. But you can’t bring yourself to care about the details, not when your eyes are rolling back in your head, something slick leaking from between your new limbs as Akaashi makes his way down your body, mouth and fingers lapping at your new slit.

Your chest heaves, nipples standing at attention, gleaming with Akaashi’s saliva as your body contorts as he continuously pumps in and out of you, adding finger after finger until it feels like you’re going to burst. You don’t even recognize the wanton cries in the air as your own, lewd whines of “Keiji, Keiji, Keiji” filling the air. And then there’s a snap, your body going rigid as something coils tight inside of you before you’re wailing, body thrashing and convulsing around the four digits stuffed inside of you, your arousal coating Akaashi’s fingers and dripping down his wrist.

You hate how wrong it feels to be empty, a whine escaping your lips at the loss of his fingers as he pulls them out. But you flinch at the sight of Akaashi seductively licking his skin clean of your mess, desire making his eyes dark as he contently hums at your taste. You try to use his distraction as a chance to slowly crawl away, but you let out a surprised cry when strong hands drag you back in place, spreading your legs once again.

“We’re not done with our wedding night yet, darling.”

Something hard and thick nudges at your entrance and you struggle anew to no use as your markings glow blue once more. And suddenly you’re pliant and aroused all over again, overwhelmed tears streaming down your face as despair and lust mix together, only heightening the dizzying feeling of having Akaashi’s cock balls deep inside of you. It’s too much, too soon and yet it’s not enough, desire pulsing inside of you, need making you go mad.

But it doesn’t matter what you want or how you feel and Akaashi reminds you of that as he uses your body to chase his own end, hips thrusting in and out of you, cock dragging against your oversensitized walls. On and on he goes, following through with a relentless, brutal pace, spurred on by your lewd moans and the way your nails draw blood as you claw at him, body trying to ground itself in any way.

You’re tumbling over the edge once more and what husband would he be to not join his lovely new wife over that precipice of pleasure? So he follows you down, groaning and burying his face in your neck with a kiss as he thrusts one last time, sinking deep inside of you as he fills you to the brim with his seed.

Reality sinks in as the blue glow emblazoned on you begins to dim until only skin and dark markings are left and disgust makes your guts churn. All you want to do is curl up into a ball. All you want is to be back home with your cousins, joking with Komori, being a brat to Sakusa. All you want is to go back in time, go back to the carefree days of innocence and fluttering your tail when Akaashi was just a faceless name.

But there’s no going back and all you can do is lie there and accept your fate as Akaashi reverently kisses and caresses his marks on your body.

Until death do you part.

[mjm5655]

@stingslikeabee liked for a starter ( plotted )

business was silent in these hours, still a few customers, but not as many as these were work hours for most. majima was able to find the time to sort out some of the back area, not really being required to be out on the floor so much though he still made an effort to make an appearance every now & again.

he was checking through the orders they had put in for alcohol, making sure everything added up to the amount he paid for, it was crucial to him that he wasn't losing any money as any money lost was progress lost to him getting back into the tojo clan. it had been like what ... a year now that he had to adopt this lord of the night persona ? something majima never seen himself as, he didn't feel like he was fit for this kind of work, he really wanted to be yakuza again, but the goal still seemed so far away from him.

it didn't help sagawa didn't make things easier, while this definitely wasn't as bad as his time in the hole, he felt mentally drained, & he didn't get a break from this bastard either, dude had eyes everywhere.

a knock sounded at the door, majima figured it was likely just one of his workers, probably needing help out on the floor for whatever reason, he just hoped it wasn't something little, he really hated to be disturbed.

❝ come in. ❞

sure enough, one of his workers came in, however his eye widened as he saw who followed, now on edge, majima had not expected sagawa, but he should've, the man comes around unannounced a lot of the time, he should be used to this by now.

❝ sagawa-han ... what brings you here ? ❞

the man had that smug look on his face like he always did around majima, his eye narrowed as he saw the woman behind him, a foreign woman in a matter of fact, what was sagawa doing with a foreigner ?

majima-chan, only came around for a minute to drop something off to you, why you always so stiff when i come around, what about a 'how are ya ?' or something ? wouldn't kill you, you know, to be a bit nicer towards me.

majima didn't speak, he hated this, he hated how this man acted, if it was both of them alone, majima would likely have a hand held around his neck, threatening to cut off the air supply to his windpipes, he hated this fake friendliness the other put on in front of others. it was a long pause of silence before he did speak up.

❝ ok, what exactly are you dropping off ? ❞

sagawa merely had the foreign woman come forward, now standing between the two men, majima looked down at her, examining her visually, she wasn't bad looking at all, but what was this for really ? sagawa never really helped him with hostess, & any he did, turned out to be so foul & nasty, it hurt the business more than it helped, majima was pretty sure they were likely spies too, more eyes for sagawa, now he comes with a foreigner, whilst majima was open enough to any woman, he couldn't say his clients would be the same.

❝ this is ? ❞

your new hostess, don't worry, she's got some experience, might even attract some unique clients, being foreign & all.

great, just great, another hostess from sagawa, before majima could say anything more, sagawa waved his goodbye & left majima with this woman now alone in the room, majima still had his eye on her, not sure what to say, he guessed he had to deal with this though, maybe she'll be different than the rest, or maybe she'll be the worst, only time would tell.

❝ so, ya a hostess then, & have some experience goin' by what he says ? how 'bout we go out onto the main floor so i can run ya through some questions ? ❞

his put-on kansai dialect & soft tone of voice kicked in, he never really liked sounding uber-serious towards women, he liked to sound chill around them so they would also feel chill & safe with him.

[leyencia]

Convincing fools is tedious work - Part 2

Viktor x Gn! Reader (SFW)

Part 1

Summary: You’ve asked Viktor out and, to your surprise, he agreed. It’s all a little weird at first but maybe some Jayce slander is all that’s needed to get the party started.

Warnings: Some angst/overthinking

A/N: This one was tough to write. I don’t know why but I kept coming back and editing like… everything. I think it’s quite alright now even though I’m not 100% satisfied :) Like always I hope you have a good time and interactions are welcome and appreciated :>

Word count: 4,8k

When you returned to work, time seemed to have slowed down; seconds went by like minutes or even hours. Usually, you loved your work, a wildly different field from what Viktor was doing but after what had happened with Viktor you couldn’t concentrate at all.

Scribbling new insights in your notebook, you kept glancing at the clock, internally begging it to hurry up. It was annoying, how these silly questions seemed to overshadow your usual immersion into your experiments.

What were you going to wear? Should you use perfume? Would that be too much? Obviously, you didn’t want to overwhelm him by trying too hard. But at the same time, you also didn’t want to drive him away by trying too little. He shouldn’t think you weren’t interested after this whole endeavour. Oh, and what if you spilt something on your clothes before your break? All these questions seemed harder to solve than any experiment you’d done before.

At least you knew the location, the little café close to the Academy. You’d been there before; cute, quiet, inconspicuous enough that it never attracted too many people to destroy the atmosphere. It was the only certainty in this situation as you had never actually been on a date. Sure, you’ve had partners before but it often just sort of… happened. The ‘first date’ somehow always got skipped. Until now.

Despite all that you were in a particularly good mood those last few hours at work, though a little nervous. Adjusting some notes you’d taken, you watched your co-workers, wondering what they’d think about you having a date with Viktor, who was, admittedly, not as famous as Jayce but still known. He was, after all, “the other guy who invented Hextech”.

“Well, someone’s in a good mood today”, a co-worker, one you were quite fond of, said as he arrived at your desk, putting down some files. Perhaps you could even call him an actual friend - but that was a thought for another time. 

You couldn’t help but smile at his words. “Sure am. It’s been a very promising day so far.” He reciprocated your smile, leaning onto the table casually. “I have a feeling it’s not because of work - but I’ll not torment you with questions today. Barely had time to give you these”, he said, pointing towards the files he had placed on your desk. “You should give them a read; apparently they contain some interesting observations.” You grabbed the documents and gave him a nod. “Thanks. Good luck with work and… time, I guess.” He laughed. “I’ll need it.”

He left as quickly as he had arrived, leaving you with the papers on your desk. Digging through them they proved to be the only thing able to hold your attention for longer than five minutes today, the new observations drawing you in, causing dozens of possibilities to develop in your head, letting the evening suddenly rush by in a flash.

It startled you how quickly the time had passed when you started to hear the others finish and pack up for the day. Rubbing your eyes, you decided to do the sensible thing and not work overtime today, getting all the sleep you needed and taking the rest of the evening for yourself. Quickly, you, too, packed up and hurried home – home being a little room in the academy, both affordable and close enough to your work.

‘Taking the rest of the evening for yourself’ basically entailed reading your favourite book, taking a really long and calming shower and applying all those oils and lotions you usually didn’t really care much for. You even shaved – without any intention – simply to feel nice and comfortable all over. Afterwards, you went to bed earlier than you had in weeks, with your pillow and blanket feeling as soft as silk against your smooth skin. As you cuddled into your sheets, eyes slowly closing from exhaustion, your mind wandered off.

You remembered when the two men had told you their sides of the Hextech origin story. Jayce had been very reluctant to really tell you anything more than the results of that evening. Blue light was illuminating the entire room, imagine that, in the dead of the night. And Viktor and I were hovering in the air along with our equipment somehow and it seemed he had been right; the resonance did stabilise it. The sight was utterly beautiful and magical, and I was, for the first and maybe only time I’ve known him now, glad that Viktor was as stubborn as he was.

Viktor on the other hand had had no shame to tell you of the literal crimes they had committed that night – still requesting beforehand that you please kept the story to yourself.

When he was recounting the events so enthusiastically, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he admitted to breaking into Heimerdinger’s lab, something had started to make you feel strange. Your eyes had kept falling to those lightly chapped lips of his and at some point, started to claim all your attention for themselves, leaving the end of the story they were so busy telling a drowned-out mystery. It was a strange and new sensation you had started to feel towards him, one you couldn’t quite place. It had you wanting to lean in, just a little bit. Truly strange.

To your dismay, it hadn’t stopped. Quite the contrary. You had caught yourself occasionally staring at him for longer than friends would, started to notice new, delicate cuts and old scars on his ever-working hands and even felt the wish of tidying his hair whenever he mindlessly played with it during work. At some point, you had to admit your crush to yourself – and decided to tell Jayce to ease the burden.

Well and somehow, all that had resulted in… this. You worrying about what you’d wear tomorrow, to the date you had with Viktor. It was still hard to believe – yet sleep came quickly to claim you regardless, dragging you into a dreamless and well-earned rest.

In the morning you still hadn’t decided what to wear and – after quickly hopping under the shower again – started to feel time starting to pressure you in the back of your mind, causing you to glance over to the clock every five minutes and toss around different clothes and ideas for outfits in a haste.

You decided to play it more casual and picked some of your favourite clothes; a chequered button-up shirt with black pants and some boots you quickly brushed the dirt off of. Picking clothes you felt comfortable in probably was the best idea. You just hoped being careful in the lab would be enough to not spill anything on them.

You also quickly applied just a little drop of perfume, hoping it would be appropriate. Not that you were able to give it much thought with how late it had gotten. You sprinted out the door so quickly that you almost forgot to lock it, passing through the hallways in panicked urgency just to get to work on time.

And that you did, though just barely thanks to the elevator taking its sweet, sweet time. Despite that work was mostly just that – plain work. Not boring though, no, as you still hadn’t finished the files from the day before yet and spent a good chunk of the day reading, understanding, and trying to apply the observations. 

The day passed without any incidents. You were so focused that your co-worker lightly tapped you on your shoulder a few minutes before your break was supposed to begin to remind you of the time.

You realised that to not let all of your co-workers know who you were seeing, maybe you should come to Viktor’s lab. He wouldn’t particularly care about it, that much you were sure of - but you did. There didn’t need to be any gossip. Or at least not yet.

With that in mind, you left a few minutes earlier, hoping it wouldn’t be a big deal. It was hard to contain the big smile on your lips as you left though.

On your way, you almost bumped into Jayce who only laughed it off. He seemed in an equally good mood. “I told him to take his entire break, every single minute he’s entitled to, (Y/N), and he didn’t even argue. A miracle, I’m telling you”, he said once the danger for his cup of coffee had passed. You had a little banter with him and then went on your way, proceeding to go get your date.

You were still a few minutes early, so the sight that greeted you as you, after knocking to no avail, opened the door to the lab was a Viktor as immersed in his work as you must have been earlier. The nervousness in your belly somehow seemed to calm a little as you watched him, quietly approaching as to not startle him. You sat down beside him, curious how long it might take for him to notice you.

Sitting there, you took in his appearance. A hand in his hair, playing thoughtfully with a strand – his hair was unusually tidy today – his amber eyes glued to the papers on his desk. He wore one of his usual red shirts with the white waistcoat, some dark pants and shoes you’d never seen him wear before. They almost looked… fancy?

You smiled a little. Had he dressed up too?

It didn’t take him too long to notice your presence – quietly you waited for a few minutes until you heard an alarm go off; a weirdly shaped metal thing that seemed a little… crude perhaps. You wondered if he had built it himself, that thing sitting on his desk, that was happily chirping away until Viktor turned his attention towards it intending to turn it off. That was when he noticed you.

“Oh. (Y/N), you’re- How long have you-“, he stammered and then sighed, finally turning off the chirping.

“How long have you been sitting there?”, Viktor finally managed to ask, a little flustered at your intrusion and now hurrying to finish up whatever he had been working on.

“Not for long”, you said, chuckling quietly. “But I thought I could… pick you up.��

He started to smile and got up, fumbling with the cane in his hand, as he approached the locker containing his coat. “Well then. Shall we leave? Jayce almost begged me to use my break for anything but work today.”

“So I’ve heard”, you responded, watching him a tad too closely in that brown coat of his. It flattered him and that dark yet calm air around him. “And you didn’t even argue with him.”

He shrugged and smiled coyly. “I think, today I may have something… perhaps even more interesting to do, so… no, this time I didn’t argue. But we should head to the café now, don’t you think?”

You first looked at him, shy smile on your lips, then at your watch. “Yeah, we should. We absolutely should.”

And without further ado, the two of you made your way towards the café.

It was only a light touch as he guided you into the building, his slender hand gently pressing into your back, but it was something he had never done before, perhaps always wanted to do but had never found the courage for. The action caught you off-guard in the best way possible.

Where his fingers lightly brushed over the fabric of your shirt he left a tingling sensation on your skin, and you couldn’t help but notice the feeling of warmth spread on your cheeks, something that certainly conveyed your feelings more openly than you wanted.

It was warm inside the café - a significant difference from the autumn weather outside - and smelled deliciously like coffee and various pastries. A few other guests were sitting on their tables, chatting with one another, and enjoying the delicacies they had ordered.

The two of you followed a waitress towards your seat, a simple yet elegant wooden table with two matching chairs that complimented the inviting faintly yellow painted walls. Sitting on the table was a single lit candle and two menu cards the waitress left you. Both of you thanked her and sat down. There was a window close to your seat that allowed you to watch the people outside going about their daily lives. You chuckled as you watched a woman chase a purple hat the wind had stolen from her head. Luckily, she did catch it in the end.

Already knowing what you wanted to order you still buried your face in the menu card like Viktor was doing. It was always the same with you – a slice of cheesecake and a hot chocolate, your favourites. Though right now you were thinking that maybe, perhaps you should order coffee.

Not that you particularly liked the stuff – no, in your opinion it was just bitter bean juice, and you had no intention to change your thoughts about the drink. But you were insecure, were suddenly wondering whether it would make you seem childish – something you usually wouldn’t have cared about but now? Here, with Viktor on your first date? You desperately wanted to leave a good impression.

Thinking about it rationally, obviously, Viktor wouldn’t denounce you a child or anything the like because you preferred cocoa over coffee; that would be plain stupid and besides - you had the hunch he had quite the sweet tooth himself. At least that was what you had gathered from watching him pour absurd amounts of sugar and milk into his coffee whenever he was at work. Somehow you still felt intimidated, like an outsider with your cocoa; it just seemed so normal for everyone to just drink coffee all day.

“Have you decided what you’d like yet, (Y/N)?”, Viktor’s voice rang to your ears from behind his menu card. You hadn’t actually paid the menu any mind during your mental cocoa dilemma but since you technically already knew what you wanted it wouldn’t really matter. Right? 

Quietly you breathed in and out to calm yourself before deciding to just go with it.

“Yeah, I think… uhm… I think I’ll have a hot chocolate and… a slice of cheesecake.” You peered over the menu to see him absentmindedly play with his hair, attentive eyes taking in the content before them. “What about you, Viktor?”

You were curious what he’d order since you’d only ever seen him eat in the Academy’s cafeteria that didn’t offer a lot of variety. If he had the choice, what would he eat?

“Hot chocolate sounds splendid, yes. Hmm… What else… Ah. Jayce recommended the lemon cake, so I will order that.”

Only ever having seen him drink his overly sweetened – though you couldn’t blame him for that – coffee you were surprised. In the Academy he always seemed to have a cup of the stuff in his hand; as to how his body could handle and even fit that amount of liquid was still a mystery to you.

You started to relax a little. Obviously, Viktor wouldn’t think of you as immature because of hot chocolate. You’d known that beforehand but still felt relieved. He even ordered it himself. 

After that, the two of you tried to spark a conversation. You started to worry again, as it suddenly had gotten unusually hard. Talking to him had always seemed so easy and simple but now there was a certain weight of expectation weighing down on each word, the implication that you weren’t explicitly friends anymore but… more. You’d crossed a line. This was new and scary terrain and neither of you seemed too sure how to handle it at first. Your worries though soon left as he had the brilliant idea to ask you about your projects – that he remembered surprisingly much about – and you seemed to find common ground again.

Excitedly you told him about the newest observations and once again noticed just how bright the man in front of you was. He asked about those little details you never thought about mentioning yet he could follow a vast majority of what you said. Even if he didn’t understand immediately you simply needed to give him a quick explanation.

You hadn’t realised how much you must have gone on with your projects as suddenly your orders arrived – the steam rising from your cups of hot chocolate promising a sweet and warm treat on your tongue that would wash away the uneasy cold of the autumn weather outside. The conversation though seemed to die down again, killed by the interruption of a stranger.

You could probably have gone on about your work some more but felt like you had already rambled so much about it. How much were you supposed to speak of work during a date? Probably less than you’d said.

But maybe you should say something. If it was common ground for Viktor and you, maybe, just maybe it didn’t matter. And maybe you needed to care less about what you were supposed to do. But what if he enjoyed the silence? You also didn’t want to blabber on and on to pointlessly try to fill a silence that didn’t need to be filled.

“I have to admit I’m curious”, he broke the silence before you could decide anything, an amused smile on his lips, his index finger circling over the rim of the cup in front of him. His expression made you feel… weird, a good kind of weird, a tingle in your stomach, but at the same time it made you suspicious of the words he was about to say, “how exactly did Jayce convince you?”

You pursed your lips and formed a playfully exaggerated smile on your face as you spoke. “Well,” you mumbled and could feel your cheeks heat up again. You weren’t sure whether seeing the shy tint on your face made his smile grow even wider or if you were simply imagining things.

“He, well, was very… committed. After I’d…”, your sentence trailed off and Viktor waited patiently for you to pick it up again while eating some of his cake. 

After you’d what? Told Jayce about your crush on Viktor?

You didn’t quite want to use any of those words even though Viktor knew. Basically. Not exactly, but… basically, yeah. You just weren’t ready to actually say that yet.

“Well, after I’d, uh, told him about it”, you said, quite content with your paraphrasing, “he kind of… didn’t let it go anymore. He was annoyingly resilient and determined, always saying stuff like “You’ll regret never telling him more”. I mean… he did have a point with that but obviously he… well, knew more.” You quietly laughed and Viktor nodded, smiling cheekily.

“I see. He did, hmm… insist on me admitting it to you, too. Though he wasn’t aware that he had persuaded me already.”

“So you were about to…”, you muttered, shyly meeting his gaze, “tell me, then?”

He took a careful sip of his hot chocolate and seemed to decide that it had cooled down enough. It reminded you that you, too, had ordered cocoa and proceeded to take a sip. It was as good as ever. The cheeky smile on his face only grew wider as he simply stated: “Yes.”

You chuckled. “It’s almost like… we should be thankful to Jayce. What a scary thought.”

He nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. Imagine what he might do with that newfound ego. He already possesses enough as is.”

The sentence made both of you laugh, a joyful yet quiet sound as to not disturb the other guests.

“Wow”, you mumbled. “That was harsh. Not that I’d disagree but… ouch.”

He shrugged. “I should thank him for the recommendation though”, he said, pointing towards the lemon cake on his plate. “It’s excellent.”

The sight of his slice gave you an idea – you wanted to tease him a little, having gained some confidence during the afternoon; your nervousness had mostly worn off thanks to your banter about Jayce. 

Maybe now really was the time to stop caring about what you were supposed to do.

“Viktor”, you chimed, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Yes, (Y/N)?”

He took a sip of his hot chocolate.

“Could I give that cake you’re praising so much a try?”

“Oh, certainly; I should have offered. Apologies.” He then proceeded to separate a little piece of his slice using his fork, intending to lift it onto your plate but you gently grabbed his wrist halfway to stop him.

“What are y-“, his sentence abruptly stopped as you wrapped your lips around his fork to snatch the piece of cake off of it. Then you let go of Viktor’s arm like nothing had happened, nodding thoughtfully as if concentrated on judging the piece thoroughly. The man sitting across from you didn’t move an inch, paralysed in his motion. The only thing that changed was the slight blush on his cheeks. Then he started to blink, like trying to free himself from a trance and finally withdrew his arm. His lips were parted like he wanted to say something, but nothing came out.

Gleefully, you announced: “Yeah, you’re right. That’s a great lemon cake. Jayce seems to know his pastries.”

Viktor quietly chuckled across from you. “Bold”, was all he said, voice a little husky like he had to force the word out of his throat. It brought you great joy to watch the usually so composed man struggle from your doing.

“Well, you see, the cheesecake here is pretty good, too. Want a piece?”

An amused smile spread across his lips as he seemingly had gotten a hold of himself again. “Sure.”

Now the situation was reversed; you stretched out your fork with a piece of cheesecake and Viktor snatched it from you. He didn’t need to hold your wrist though and you couldn’t help a little blush creep up onto your cheeks despite being the initiator of the situation.

He copied the thoughtful nod you’d given him before. “I agree with you. The cake is quite remarkable.”

The action made you laugh quietly, and it seemed that he couldn’t help himself in laughing with you. Hearing that sound again made you irrationally happy.

After that you finished up, still giggling every now and then and split the bill despite Viktor’s best efforts to pay for both of you. You had to insist on not being a nuisance to his wallet and needed to point out that you were, in fact, in possession of the financial means to pay for yourself. He seemed dissatisfied by that but didn’t argue any further.

The two of you decided to take a little walk before you needed to return to work. Stepping outside you immediately regretted only wearing your thin jacket as it had gotten even colder – cold enough to faintly see your breath in the air. You envied Viktor in his cosy coat.

Both of you knew the area well enough that you could just walk in some direction without the fear of getting lost. Viktor even assured you that his sense of direction was quite reliable as he caught you checking for a street sign – it had made you laugh, the way he said it, all nonchalant without realising how weirdly intimate it was to you. That you could rely on him. Or perhaps you also read too much into the situation.

Finally, a nasty chill was starting to creep up your legs and under your light jacket, leaving you shivering slightly and a little frustrated about your own decision-making. The only person to blame for you freezing now was, well, you. You did try to at least hide your hands in the pockets of your jacket – with little success, as the material was too thin. It was probably better than nothing though.

Viktor in his coat was a sight for sore eyes nonetheless - not just because you envied him in the warm fabric. He was just… pleasant to look at with his expressive face and the slender hands, one hidden from your gaze in his pocket, the other resting on top of his cane. The light clack of it hitting continually against the ground was almost soothing enough to let you forget the cold. But only almost.

Glancing up to him again you caught him looking at you expectantly.

He must have said something.

“Ah, sorry. What- uh, what did you say?”, you stammered, tearing your gaze away from him to watch the houses around you.

“I was wondering whether you were freezing in your light jacket, (Y/N). I could offer you my coat; it seems… more adequate in this weather. Not that I doubt your choice in clothing”, he quickly added. Looking at him again, you could see the genuine worry in his eyes.

You gave his coat a quick glimpse; he was right, it would be great to cuddle into that comfy coat. Not just for that reason, no, but you weren’t quite ready to admit to yourself that the idea of simply having something from him, even if it was only his coat for half an hour was… quite intriguing.  

That being said, you couldn’t help yourself eyeing his thin frame suspiciously and shaking your head disapprovingly.

“No, I’m fine. I wouldn’t want you to freeze on behalf of my bad decisions.”

“Are you certain?”, he asked, cane secured between his knees, both of his hands already busy with taking his coat off. “I will be alright.”

Your hands caught his’ to stop him in the action, something you hadn’t anticipated you’d be – technically - doing twice today. “Stop, stop, you’ll catch a cold. Don’t be silly.”

Only then did you realise how close you had gotten to him, the two of you mere inches apart. Your hands were touching, though only because you were afraid he still might take off his coat if you released him from your grip. Or at least that’s what you told yourself. 

You could tell which hand had been in his pocket; one nice and warm and the other as cold as yours.

“If I don’t, you will catch a cold. Your hands are freezing. You shouldn’t be silly.”

You’d forgotten how stubborn Viktor could be at times. A trait that could both be a blessing and a curse depending on the situation.

So maybe arguing was useless.

As you watched his amber eyes, framed in faint rays of the sun illuminating his face, you felt that feeling again, a tugging in your stomach, the wish to get closer to him and touch. Your face inched closer towards his even though you had no idea what you were actually doing, except… give into that warm and fuzzy emotion for the first time. You just followed what your intuition told you to.

You were afraid your heart might jump out of your chest from pounding so hard. Everything around you was drowned out by it and your quiet yet erratic breathing, even the loud doubts and fears in your head. Closely, you monitored his reactions to notice every little bit of hesitation, but none came. Quite the contrary. You were certain you even saw the corners of his mouth curl up smugly as he leaned down a little, causing you to close your eyes and his lips to crash into yours.

Your shaking hands found the collar of his coat as they let go of his fingers, and you had to rise to your tiptoes as he pulled you in. His lightly chapped lips were somewhat rough against yours yet the movements gentle and tender. 

It felt like a blissful eternity with his hands burying themselves softly into your hair and the pressure that had built up in you just falling off you as you melted into his lips. He smelled so good, like wood and forests and a hint of cinnamon. The feeling was intoxicating and addicting in a way that reminded you of first loves and adventures yet safety alike and you were almost afraid you wouldn’t be able to stop kissing him again.

When you did let go of him, lowering yourself onto your feet, you didn’t know how to react. You suddenly seemed to be in charge of it all again and felt the adrenaline that had suddenly kicked in wear off.

Your cheeks were burning, and you barely managed to meet his soft gaze as you let out a shaky breath. His cheeks, too, tinted in a shy red that seemed so different from his usual confidence. 

“That… is also a way to warm up, I suppose.”

You couldn’t tear yourself from him and his golden eyes and your voice was soft when you spoke.

“Just keep your jacket on, Viktor.”

[rwprincess]

Two Worlds Collided

Masterlist

A/N: Oh, an anachronistic songfic from RWPrincess? But this time it’s about John Bender! :D Inspired by Never Tear Us Apart (originally by INXS in 1987, but I particularly like this Paloma Faith version)

Word Count: 2K

Synopsis: Bender met reader at the Breakfast Club and the two seemed like opposites, but they shared a common hidden sadness. Over the years, feelings and relationships change.

CW: Swearing, sexuality, Bender being a general asshole

Bender had met her the same way everyone in the Breakfast Club had, on the Saturday detention on March 24th. He had seen her in the hallways prior to that as he was always observant. He had seen everyone in the Breakfast Club before that day; but he hadn’t given her much thought. Now, he was paying attention to little else. He had no idea why he was drawn to her; they were both so different and he could never picture himself with a goody-two-shoes like that. But the way she had reacted to his more vulnerable, real moments, how she tried to make a connection with him...that stuck with him. He knew he should have learned from his disastrous blow-up with Claire that two people who were so different just wouldn’t work out. He repeated this to himself over and over, like a mantra, but it never changed how he actually felt.

After the breakup, the Breakfast Club had a split between those who chose Bender and those who chose Claire. Of course, Andrew sided with Claire unconditionally, but John considered that as no big loss. Allison tried to play the middle ground and Johnson had sided more with him, but he was surprised at the wholehearted backing he received from Y/N. He had assumed that she would either try to be neutral like Allison, or pick Claire. She had no reason to side with him, he had always come off as an aloof ass. But she had, and he was eternally grateful for that. He had originally decided to get together with Claire because the notion had a hot, forbidden quality to it. They spent time insulting each other and making out to make up for it. It was as passionate as it was destructive, so of course it couldn’t last. However, when he was alone and reflected to himself, he had been attracted to Y/N all along. She was hot, yes, but he had plenty of good-looking girls to choose from. He was more drawn to that kind, quiet inside she had displayed that day. How she had gone out of her way numerous times to reach out to him and had been genuinely nice to him. Most of the time, someone only did that to gain something for themselves. Whether it was to use him or to make themselves feel better, it depended on the person, but with Y/N that never felt like it was the case.

Don't ask me

What you know is true

Don't have to tell you

I love your precious heart

He thought back to the first time he saw her on that Saturday, walking into the library and looking so out of place. He was already adjusting into his spot when she entered and she froze in front of all the tables like a deer-in-the-headlights, as if she had just materialized there and had no clue what she was doing. He remembered feeling both attracted to that doe-eyed look and scoffing internally at it. While she wasn’t part of the cliques that Andrew and Claire were, she had a very sheltered look to her and he was envious of that type of innocence. Her ignorance must have been bliss compared to the hell he lived each day at school and at home. She was just as out of place as the preppies or ultra-dweeb Johnson, but instead of being offended by that notion, she looked terrified. She meekly put her items on the front-row desk opposite to him and he thought about all the fun he could poke at everyone here, including her. However, the first blow did not land well. Bender loved making people uncomfortable, but he didn’t necessarily want to make them cry. He’d made some off-handed remark towards her. He had been circling her and eyeing her, employing the discomfort he liked inflicting, trying to ‘guess’ why she was in detention. “I bet you were caught fooling around with a teacher, right? Always the quiet ones that you’d least suspect…”

John Bender rarely regretted his words or actions. He knew he was an asshole and let unfiltered thoughts through so that he could be the center of attention. In doing so, he had to stand by all the shit he said, even when he crossed a line. This was one of the scattered occasions in which he felt remorse, though. She didn’t reply, not verbally, anyway, but she looked scared shitless and was rooted to the spot. Tears instantly sprang up in her eyes and she looked as if she were about to hurl right on his combat boots. He backed off after that. He didn’t apologize, because that’s not something John Bender could have on his reputation, but he didn’t target her. There was something so sincere about her reaction and he saw himself reflected in that expression. Not the tough-as-nails persona he projected, but his secret self who had seen too much too early in life and could barely stand another blow. He didn’t know what her deal was, but there was a heavy sadness behind those eyes that was far too real for him to tamper with.

When he had shown the group his souvenir for spilling paint in his garage, courtesy of his father, she must have seen that reflection back. No one in that group actually knew him. They all thought he was a lying sack of shit; what could he say? His reputation preceded him. But he caught her gaze as he backed away from the group, and the sadness in her recognized the sadness in him. He felt an odd sort of click, a mutual understanding, but he turned away from them all and trashed the library.

I, I was standing

You were there

Two worlds collided

And they could never tear us apart

That was months ago, and out of everyone he met that day, she was the one who truly stuck by him. He’d surprisingly connected with Johnson, sure. Everybody likes to get high and Bender was the supplier. And he and Allison had similar interests, but she wouldn’t give up Andrew and with that territory came Claire...there was just no going back to that. But Bender still had Y/N, and he could never understand it. The first time he had brought her into his friend circle, he tried to justify it as sticking to his word and ‘having the balls to stand up to his friends’ like he had told Claire to do. He also reasoned that it was some sort of social experiment. As much as he liked to portray himself as someone who couldn’t care less, Bender was entirely social. He craved attention and admiration for others and could read just about anyone like a book. Maybe that’s why he didn’t mess with Y/N after that first comment landed so wrongly. He felt like he knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling and decided to back off. However, it wasn’t just some ‘watch and see how she interacts’ set up; Bender genuinely wanted her there. He wanted to integrate her into his life.

She was still extremely quiet, mostly a speak-when-you’re-spoken-to type, but he started to peel back layers in her personality. He found that, despite that lurking sadness, there was an unending pool of optimism. She tried to see the best in situations and in people. She meshed incredibly well with his friends because she listened instead of judged. She would nod along like she knew exactly what they were talking about and how they felt. He started to develop an attachment to her. While he was still dating Claire, he told himself it was akin to having a pet. Y/N was like a goldfish that he could tell his problems to and know the secret would be kept. But after Claire, he realized that wasn’t the case...particularly when he sought Y/N’s comfort above all else. He divulged the entire last big fight he and Claire had to her, and she was just so...reassuring. After that day, he began to see her in a different light. He argued with himself over what his feelings and intentions actually were, but he couldn’t keep them at bay for long. She was good for Bender. He had never felt lighter.

Of course, Bender had not known stability in his life ever, and the risk of falling for Y/N and having it mean something and being accountable to one person overwhelmed him. He did what he knew best: he fought it and ran away from it. At first, he tried to avoid her, just distance himself. But he’d gravitate back; being without her was too heavy to bear. He wanted to try to actively push her away, to fuck up this relationship with his words, just like he did with everything else. But when he opened his mouth to try to lie, to say he didn’t need her or want her around or whatever, he would look into her eyes and it became impossible. He remembered the way he had shaken her to her core the first day they met, and he couldn’t allow himself to bring that sadness up again in her.

We could live for a thousand years

But if I hurt you

I'd make wine from your tears

Eventually, he gave in. While he was able to control his words to not say anything harmful, he wasn’t able to contain them from slipping up and telling her, “Dammit, I love you!” It wasn’t in a context that could be taken as joking or being said flippantly; she knew immediately what he meant and that he meant those words, wholly.

She took his face in her hands and told him, “I love you, too.” There was no turning back, and as the years passed, they fell deeply in love. He'd dug up her secrets and fears, but she seemed to trust him enough to not use them against her in any way. They both dreaded the prospect of never getting out of Shermer and falling into the same circular trap their parents had. However, he reassured her that the moment they had the opportunity, they would bust out of there. He lucked out that Claire had never asked for her diamond earring back. It was probably one of many and she had forgotten she had even given it to him as a token. He decided to pawn it to top-off the savings he and Y/N had accrued. "You're too good for me, you're sure as hell too good for this place,'' he told her. The trade-in was enough to get them out of town and start anew, but only one of them could really ‘move up’ for now. While they argued back and forth about who should get to pursue which dream, Bender rationalized to her, “I was barely cut out for high school. I can’t really do college. And that’s okay. You’re the brains in this relationship, I’m the beauty.” He winked at her and with her laughter as response, that sealed the deal of who was going to school.

I told you

That we could fly

'Cause we all have wings

But some of us don't know why

She searched the crowd, holding her diploma. Bender had supported her both financially and emotionally these last four years and now they had the degree to prove it. She felt pride in being able to take over from him and let him follow a new path. He had always been good with his hands, but despite his protests, he was good with his mind too. He was a sharp-thinker and she knew that he could make a career that he loved out of that. She’d be there to push and brace him as he had done for her. Finally, she spotted him. When their eyes connected, she felt that same crackle that she had the first day they had met, all those years ago. Before the friendship and the love, she knew there was a spark there, that they were two of a kind, even though they were so different.

I, I was standing

You were there

Two worlds collided

And they could never tear us apart

[mypoisonedvine]

You, Me, and Him | (dark)Bucky Barnes x reader

summary: the worst thing about the man who did this to you is that he’s convinced he isn’t the one who did this to you (or, brainscrambled bucky decides to keep the gift that the winter soldier left for him)

word count: 4k

warnings: smut (noncon), yandere-ish themes, stalking, kidnapping, very unstable/erratic bucky, slapping, creampie kink, praise

When you opened your eyes, you wondered why your room looked so strange.  What possible angle could you be looking at your ceiling from that it would be like this?

However, when you turned your head, you suddenly realized that you were not in your room at all.  The next thing you realized was that your hands were restrained— shackled, specifically, and suspended above your head.  Obviously, this realization shot ice-cold terror through your veins as you began to try to understand how you’d gotten here.  Now that you thought about it, you didn’t remember going to sleep in your room: no, you’d been out shopping, in the middle of the afternoon.  Why couldn’t you remember anything after that?  

Your head spun when a door nearby opened, and the man that awaited on the other side brought it all back.

He was following me.  I tried to lose him, I turned a corner, but he was right there— and there was a syringe in his hand… and he must have—

“Oh my god,” the man gasped, “shit— are you okay?”

You stared at him in confusion, already starting to cry as you put two and two together about all this.  Generally, only one thing happened after a man drugged a woman and chained her to a wall.  The part that didn’t add up was the terror on his face as he rushed to you and knelt down in front of where you were lying— why was he worried about you?

“Oh no, oh nonononono,” he whimpered, mostly to himself, “oh god, I didn’t— this wasn’t… oh fuck.”

“Please let me go,” you started to plead between sobs, “I don’t know what you want, but I don’t have any money… I’ll give you whatever I have, I won’t tell anyone, just let me go, please—”

“No, no, no,” he shook his head quickly.  Either he wasn’t listening (bad) or he was denying your request (worse) and both possibilities just made you cry harder.  He, meanwhile, was rocking back and forth in front of you, covering his ears with his hands to muffle your cries.  “Oh god, what have I done, what have I done— what did I do?”

“Please don’t hurt me,” you whimpered.

“No, no, I won’t— I would never do that…” he sighed.  “I would never do anything to hurt you.”

You squinted as you tried to make out what that meant, sniffling as your crying subsided a little (mainly from being distracted by the confusion of it all).  “Do I… know you?”

He chuckled a little, scratching the back of his neck nervously.  “Uh, no, not really, I’m— my name is Bucky,” he explained, “I— you might have seen me on the news, but that wasn’t really me, that was this other guy—”

“Why did you do this to me?” you interrupted.

“No, see, that’s the thing: I didn’t do this to you.  It was… it was somebody else.  He’s… he’s in my head, and every once in a while he takes control and sort of does his own thing…”

Not that anybody who kidnaps somebody is totally right in the head, but this guy is certifiable.

“And he did this to you.  Don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay,” he assured you, though it wasn’t comforting at all, “I’m not gonna hurt you, I would never— I won’t do that, okay?  I’m just gonna… I’m gonna let you go.”

You sighed with relief, although some voice in the back of your head told you not to trust him just because he seemed regretful.  Regardless of his strange excuses, this was still the man who kidnapped you.

“You don’t believe me,” he realized with an awkward smile.  “It’s okay, I understand.  I wouldn’t believe me either— god, I must sound crazy, right?  But I’m not crazy.  I don’t think…”

This time your sigh was less relief and more irritation.

“See, I was, uh, tortured.  Experimented on.  That was a long time ago, and I’m mostly over it, but this other guy— he’s a soldier.  I guess I am, too, but he’s… more on the war crimes side of things.  Like, assassinations and stuff.  That’s a whole other story…”

I think I’d prefer to hear that one.

“Anyways, sometimes I get sort of… messed up?  Up here?” he gestured to his head, leaning back to sit on the floor in front of you with crossed legs.  “Like, I can’t tell what year it is or how long it’s been since I’ve slept.  My psychiatrist says I’m ‘losing time’ and that it’s normal for people with… whatever it is that I have.  But it’s scary, you know?  Because I don’t know what I’ve done in that time.  So today, I woke up and had no idea how I got where I was—”

Same.

“And I came down here and… you’re here.  I didn’t… I didn’t do this, I can’t stress that enough.”

“So… this other guy…” you tried to understand, hoping that appealing to his twisted sense of logic would get him to tell you something actually useful, “he did this?”  Bucky nodded.  “Does he do this often?”

“What, kidnap women?  No this is… this is new.  As far as I know.”

“Why me?”

“Uh…” he stalled, looking away.  “God, this is sort of embarrassing, but… it’s probably because I sort of have this, um, crush on you…”

“You don’t even know me,” you mumbled.

“No, you don’t know me, but I… I know you,” he nodded confidently.  “Do you remember a few months ago when you went to that art gallery by your apartment?  It was raining that day, I couldn’t tell for sure if you came in to look at the art or if you were just trying to get out of the weather but, anyways, you had on this big puffy coat— ‘cause it was cold out— and you took off your hood and you just looked around… I saw you, cause I was in there to look at the art, too, and you looked so beautiful.”

You were getting anxious.  He said he would let you go but he hadn’t really made any progress on that goal.

“And I sort of followed you after that, and watched you— I mean, that sounds really bad, it wasn’t like that, I just… I just wanted to make sure you were safe and—”

“Let me go, Bucky, please,” you interrupted, getting more desperate.

He shook his head with a sigh.  “You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry… I just haven’t had anyone to talk to… you’re a good listener.”

Yeah, everybody’s a good listener when they’re tied up and forced to listen.

“Just let me finish my story and I’ll let you go.  I was kind of in the middle of something.  You know, it’s rude to interrupt people.”

Oh fuck.  You’d angered him.  It was subtle, but he was clearly irritated; he looked at the floor, and his jaw tightened a little.  It must have been that this candid talk made you forget he was unstable and that you needed to tread lightly.  You couldn’t afford another mistake like that.

“I’m sorry, Bucky, finish your story,” you offered.

“Okay,” he nodded, “well, anyways, when you came into the gallery you looked around for a while but there was one painting you kept looking at— do you remember it?” 

You shook your head.

“Really?  You must’ve stared at it for half an hour.  I swear I saw you tearing up a bit,” he smiled.  “Clearly it had an effect on you.  I wasn’t sure if you were considering buying it, or if it would make you upset to see it in your house every day, but the way you looked at it… it changed everything for me.  You smiled at me as you left, just a quick glance— I’m not offended that you don’t remember me just from that, if anything it’s good because it made it a lot easier to trail you, but… I knew then that you were such a kind, soulful person.”

“Oh my god,” you groaned, “I remember… I remember that.”

It was so cold out that the rain was nearly frozen.  You’d gone in to escape the elements, but one painting drew you in.  Someone else was there, a man that you remembered thinking was attractive but a little eerie with the way he just stood there, seemingly even more purposeless than you.  He smiled at you as you left, and you smiled back.  You were just trying to be friendly.  No good deed, though, right?

“Do you remember the painting?” he asked again, leaning in a little closer with innocent hope sparkling in his eyes.

“Yes,” you nodded, “it was… it was a woman, and she was looking away from the viewer, out over the water.  She looked sad, but determined, like she was thinking about something impossible to describe.”

He smiled wide then, apparently impressed by your description.   “Look,” was all he said as he pointed to the wall beside you— and as you turned your head, you gasped as you saw it: it was the painting, even more hauntingly beautiful than you remembered.  You started to cry again, because somehow it was this show of disturbed affection that made you more sure than ever that you weren’t going to get out of here.

“Don’t be scared,” he soothed, moving closer again and wiping the tears from your face gently.  “It’s gonna be alright.”

“Please let me go,” you whispered shakily, looking back at him, straight into his eyes, as if maybe you could find some sanity there to appeal to.

He frowned a little as he pulled back, bringing his thumb to his lips to chew the nail nervously as he thought.  “See, here’s the thing…”

“Bucky, please—”

“I don’t think I can do that,” he sighed.

“Please,” you cried, the word starting to lose all meaning as you just fought to be able to speak past the force of your sobs, “please, please—”

“You could tell somebody— and I know it wasn’t me, but the police aren’t gonna care about that.  I always have to take the heat for what he does… and I would just rather not go to prison.”

“I won’t, Bucky,” you feverishly defended, “I wouldn’t tell, I swear— we’re friends!  Friends don’t tell on each other—”

He interrupted you as he grabbed you by your shirt suddenly, pulling you towards him as you recoiled.  “I don’t have friends,” he growled.

“We… we could be friends,” you offered weakly.  “I could be your friend.  Do you… do you want to be my friend?”

He studied your face, the gaze of his bright blue eyes burning through you instantly.  “I can’t say that I do.”

You whimpered as he leaned in closer, taking a deep breath right against the side of your face.

“You smell so good,” he whispered, his left hand— bionic metal, much to your horror— reaching up to trace over your face and hold you close to him.  “We aren’t friends, silly; we’re soulmates.”

You shivered, gut sinking as you closed your eyes and thought there might still be a chance it was all a horrible dream.  This isn’t happening to me, this isn’t happening to me, this can’t be happening to me—

“Hey!” he yelled, slapping you on the face suddenly.  “Keep your eyes open!”

You cried but tried to do as he asked, knowing it would only be so much worse if you didn’t do whatever he wanted.

“The point is, even if you didn’t tell, letting you go just isn’t… economical for me,” he explained.  “‘Cause the truth is, even though I didn’t want to kidnap you, right now I wanna… I wanna keep you.”

He didn’t even let you start crying hard again before he cradled your face in his hands, refusing to let you turn away.

“No, baby, it’s okay— it’s gonna be good!” he promised.  “I would never do anything to hurt you.”

“Please, Bucky, don’t do this,” you sobbed.

“Shh, shh, don’t you get it?  He did this to help me— he knew I couldn’t do it alone, ‘cause I was too afraid to talk to you, but he brought you to me, and now I’m gonna make you understand how good we are for each other.”

He scooted closer, his hands rubbing your legs through your jeans as you cried silently.

“And that’s why he didn’t touch you,” he continued.  “He just left you for me, cause he knows you’re— you’re mine.”

He kissed you suddenly, and it was awkward and sloppy against your unwilling lips.  His tongue eventually managed to force your mouth open, exploring and filling it as you struggled and failed to turn away.  His hand on your jaw was almost tight enough to choke you, a looming threat of what awaited if you didn’t kiss him back.  You couldn’t exactly put much passion into it but you tried your best.

He was smiling when he leaned back and broke away from you, still holding your face and seeming almost proud— of you or himself, you weren’t sure.

“You are so perfect,” he praised quietly.  “I can’t believe I finally have you… god, it’s like a dream come true.”

Or a nightmare, you responded internally.

You jumped when he pulled the knife out from a holster on his belt.

“Oh, this?  I won’t hurt you with it— so long as you stay still,” he explained gently as he leaned forward and started to cut off your shirt while you tried desperately not to shake.  

He looked at you with the reverence of a man at the altar as he tore the shreds of your clothes away, cutting slowly until you were just in your bra and panties.

"Stop," you whispered, but it was so quiet he must not have heard you— or he just didn't care.  He gingerly slipped the knife between your bra and your chest, tugging out to snap it off.  

He took a breath to steady himself; he seemed nearly as nervous as you, just in an entirely different way.

"Baby," he mumbled under his breath, "god, I just wanna do everything to you."

It was hard not to tense up when he said that, or when he brought the knife between your legs to cut off your underwear, but you willed yourself not to shiver because you really weren't ready to lose anything important if his hand slipped.

With them cut and tossed aside, you forced your eyes shut— because you couldn't stop him from seeing you, but at least you didn't have to watch.  As your legs instinctively closed, he gently guided them back open, metal fingers cold on your skin but flesh ones unbearably warm.

“You have such a nice body, I don’t know why you hide it in those baggy clothes,” he chuckled as he ran his hands over your skin.  “I watched you shower a few times, you know, and I saw you look at yourself in the mirror before you got in…"

You opened your eyes, but he wasn't looking at your face, instead taking a long moment to take in everything else.

"You looked like you were disappointed," he continued, "but— but you’re beautiful, and you should know that.  You need somebody to tell you that.”

You felt your face heating up even though you should be horrified, not flattered.  To be fair, it was a bit of both.

“Do you think I’m, you know, handsome?” he asked awkwardly, glancing up to your face again.  “People used to say that about me, a long time ago.  Are you… attracted to me?”

You shook your head, lying.

“Then why are you so wet?” he sing-songed with a mocking grin, thick fingers spreading your lower lips and gathering the arousal they found there.  You whimpered when he brought those fingers to his lips and sucked them hungrily.  “Fuck, you taste incredible— I mean, I knew you would, but wow, this is so much better than just smelling those panties he stole.”

You shivered with disgust, realizing that he was responsible for the pair you thought were lost in the laundry.  

“Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that,” he laughed.  “Yeah, it was his idea and all, I didn’t do anything but… I’ll tell you a little secret,” he smirked as he leaned in, right against your ear, whispering: “I got off with them, and on them, and it felt soooo good…”

He quickly pulled his cock out of his trousers as you started to struggle against the chains again, getting a quick glimpse before looking away as you wondered how he could possibly fit that in you.

“Do you like knowing that?  Do you like knowing I stroked my cock and thought about you?  I imagined you were laying under me, begging me to fuck you… and now you’re here, and it’s real, and it’s gonna be wonderful.”

You gasped as he suddenly pushed in, trying not to react but knowing he was watching your face intently and saw it all.  “Fuck, baby,” he breathed, “you’re so tight, god, I knew you’d be perfect…”

You cried as he started moving inside you, holding your hips steady and filling you completely until it actually hurt to be stretched so wide.  You were sure nothing had ever been so deep inside you, and it was making your whole body jolt with each thrust.

“Does it feel good?  Do you like my cock in you?” he asked— but it didn’t sound like dirty talk, it sounded like he was genuinely asking.

You shook your head, lying again.

“What if I do this?” he offered, reaching down and circling a calloused thumb over your clit.  Your back arched into his touch, and he grinned proudly.  “See, doesn’t that make it better?  I bet I can make you come.”

One final lie for the night, you shook your head.

"Oh, doll," he soothed, kissing away a tear that had trailed down your cheek, "it's okay… it's okay to like it.  You don't need to pretend."

He reached down and pressed his hand into your lower belly, making you winced as he applied pressure until it took everything you had not to scream.

"Feel that?" he cooed.  "I can feel it.  We're finally together, baby, you never have to be alone again… isn't it incredible?"

Sobbing, your back began to arch up against the wall you were chained to.  With his hand pushing on you, it was impossible to ignore the head of his cock slamming into your g-spot— hard enough that your entire body shook with each thrust.  It was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, and not just because you’d never been kidnapped before.  As he leaned down to suck on your neck hard enough to leave a mark, it was hard not to feel like he was claiming every part of your body all at once.  You bit down on your lip, afraid to moan too loud, but he heard the muffled noises and pulled up to tut at you disapprovingly.

“Don’t do that,” he frowned, “I wanna hear everything, pretty girl.  I wanna hear you beg for me.”

You whined as you tried to resist it, but getting railed like this made you want to do whatever he told you to.

“Come on, baby,” he encouraged sweetly, “just let go, I know you want to…”

It was bubbling up in your chest faster than you could stop it, each cry louder than the last until you couldn’t hold back anymore.  “Bucky!” you shrieked, hating yourself as you heard him laugh happily right by your ear.

“Oh I know, I’m right here, doll,” he soothed gently, holding you tightly; your hands wiggled inside their shackles, and you shamefully realized that you were craving to wrap your arms around him, run your fingers through his hair.  The desire to push him away was lost to the need to reach your peak.  “Say my name just like that when you come on my cock, sweetheart.”

Your walls were already convulsing and you were moaning so loud you thought you might lose your voice.  Pleasure built up faster than you could comprehend, and so intensely that little black dots were dancing on your vision.  

Oh god yes, right there, don’t stop, yes, you would’ve cried out were it anyone else doing this to you.  Instead all you could do was whimper his name, somewhere between begging for more and begging for mercy.

“Fuck, fuckfuckfuck, I can feel you coming for me— you’re so good, so fucking good,” he groaned, “I’m close already, can you believe it?  I should slow down, so I can make you come again, but you feel too good, I can’t stop.”

Most of that was lost to you, though, because everything had gone numb and fuzzy in the wake of your orgasm, your body limp in his grasp.  The way he pulled your hips into his made you feel used, like a— well, like a doll, fittingly.

“Oh god, babygirl— can I come inside?” he asked gently, but when you weakly shook your head, he just smiled.  “It’s gonna feel so good to fill you up.”

Before you could make it clear that you were saying no, he leaned forward and kissed you— aggressive and rough as he started to breathe deeply and moan against you.  You kicked your legs to try to get him away but all you could do was uselessly scrape your feet against the floor.  You could feel him pulsing inside you, growling against your lips until suddenly warmth began to paint your walls.  Whimpering, you slouched limply as the fight left you.  

“Oh my god, angel,” he sighed, pulling back and smiling as he traced his thumb over your face, following the path of a fresh tear, “that was… you’re incredible.  I’ve never come like that, you feel so fucking amazing.”

He kissed you again, gentler and slower than before.  

“Is it weird that I don’t wanna pull out?” he asked just louder than a whisper, chuckling as his nose brushed against yours.  It was like this guy thought he was in a Hallmark Christmas movie while you were in a Lifetime thriller.  “I could just stay inside you forever… but I won’t.”

He watched in awe as his hips pulled back and his softening cock slipped out of you.  Your face burned with shame as you felt a gush of his come (and yours) leak from you.  

“Wow, look at that,” he mumbled weakly.  “Can you push it out, baby?  I wanna see how good I filled this pretty pussy.”

It made you feel disgusting, but you summoned the last of your strength to do as he asked, unable to see the results but watching him stare between your legs and bite his lip.  

“Fuck, babygirl, that’s… that’s fucking gorgeous.  I stretched you out pretty good, and you’re all swollen…”

Strange enough, he pulled you into a hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck.

“You’re so perfect, sweetheart… my pretty little doll.”  When he pulled back a bit, he moved a stray hair that had stuck to the sheen of sweat on your face, admiring you with a small smile.  “God, I can’t believe you’re finally all mine.  Guess he was lookin’ out for me, bringing you here.  I oughta thank him, somehow.”

He must have known what you were imagining by the way you tensed up, and he laughed softly.

“Don’t worry, baby, I won’t let him touch you.  I won’t let anyone touch you but me.  Now let’s get you out of these chains and into a hot bath, how’s that sound?”

Weakly nodding, you let your eyes fall shut as he reached up to unlock the metal cuffs around your wrists.  Holding your hands in his, he softly kissed the marks left there from when you’d still been fighting, before finally scooping you up into his arms.  He didn’t struggle at all to lift you, and you were too exhausted to notice the way you were leaning into his chest as you dozed off.

You dreamt that you were looking out over still water, contemplative but determined, before falling right in.