#and why are the others in uthodern??

[burr-ell]

While I get Brennan's point regarding not allowing the potential to kill the gods, I think it's also valid to question that if mortals have the potential to kill the gods, what will they have the potential to do to each other? I think it's reasonable to suggest that most people wouldn't want a totalitarian dystopia like Aeor to have that power, but it would also be a bad idea to give that power to Whitestone or Uthodern or Jrusar. Obviously the survival instinct is the ultimate reason behind why the gods declared a truce in such a destructive war, but this kind of thing has been a genuine ethical debate for decades if not centuries and no one's opinion on it is too special to be flawed—including the gods, whose ultimate answer to that question was to realize their own fault and take themselves off the board.

[sbrn10]

This observation has probably been made time and again, so it's really nothing new, but I feel like the feywild retreat has only brought into even starker relief how fucked up BH are by the fact that they've been stuck in panic emergency mode ever since three of them died (and one of them stayed dead) (which is not to say that Laudna's death is the cause of panic emergency mode but that it did coincide very unfortunately with them being made aware of the solstice clock ticking) and they genuinely have no way out of it.

Like, brief excursions notwithstanding (Chetney's trial in the jungle and also the backstory episode in Uthodern -- damn, Chetney got way more not-BBEG-related character time than anybody else lol), even when they have some relative downtime, almost everything they do is driven directly or indirectly by the fact that they're being relied on to save the world as they know it and they all feel incredibly not up to the task. They're stressed af. They all think they're going to die. Barring Chet and Fearne, they're kind of willing to die -- like they're not going to TRY to die, but they're up for it if necessary. Even when they're stuck waiting with nothing else to do like for three days on a ghost ship, they end up talking shop more than anything else (i.e., discussing whether Laudna should be texting Delilah -- and about half of them think yes). They're all watching each other make really questionable choices and rationalizing way hard because they feel like they need to (Orym and FCG to Laudna re: Delilah, Laudna to Imogen re: taking off the circlet, everyone watching Ashton jump into fucking lava ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ etc.) (and yeah, Ashton blowing themselves up went a bit beyond the rationalization threshold, but honestly if the consequences had been a hair less radical...) and on the flip side, feeling almost a sense of distrust when some of them aren't ready to make really questionable choices.

(Okay, okay, side tangent: I know it's not great that everyone's been pushing Fearne on the shard? But also, Fearne has been so reluctant to share her fears to the extent that I'm like, they're not mindreaders ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯ . (Hilariously, Imogen is, but she hasn't been doing it to Fearne!) Even with Chetney, who was really good about communicating with Fearne in e78, Fearne says she's afraid of becoming a bad version of herself exactly one (1) time and then they actually spend almost all of that conversation discussing her feelings for Ashton and how she regrets that her feelings influenced her into making the wrong choice, not dark!Fearne, which is why that conversation also ends with Chetney being like, hey, I get that you feel bad about Ashton, and you said you were scared, but also I love being a werewolf and I think you can overcome being scared so you should still get it because you could be awesome. Because she hasn't elaborated! And on the one hand -- yes, in a perfect world, her feelings should be respected even if she doesn't fully explain them. But on the other, the world may be ending and she's turning down significant power that everyone put their neck on the line to get; they do kind of deserve an explanation for why. All I'm saying is, the way this Fearne shard thing has been playing out is more complicated than "nobody is listening to her.")

And the thing is, it doesn't matter whether Matt stops the clock now, because it's always there. They could be in the feywild for months with time frozen and they'd still have alarm sirens blaring in the back of their heads until the threat is actually resolved.

To be very clear, it's not that I hate it -- there's a part of me that does enjoy this campaign specifically for that sense of heightened distress. I think the vastly different overarching story structures of c1, c2, and c3 all directly inform the pacing and vibes of each campaign, and c3 is the SNAFU campaign through and through.

But as much as I would like for them to sit down and work through their emotional shit, there's also the side of me that's like... but... when would they do that. Especially now that we've seen they can't even turn off their trauma brains when they're in the feywild under the guise of timey wimey bs (which, to be clear, also makes sense given their situation).

And I'm just saying, it makes me sad for them! They're all so! fucked! up! Also I love them a lot and I can't stop thinking about them.

[piratespencil]

WHAT IS HAPPENING????

[captainsspnanon]

C2E38 - Homeward Bound - rewatch reaction

Mmm….more bearded Matt.

Also, I want you all to know that I have been keeping up with the Critrolestats blogs since the rewatch (which is not something I did as of first watch), and they did a recap of who knows what of everyone’s backstory after 47, and of course everything for Nott is wrong and I’m just like IF YOU’D WAITED ONE EPISODE!!!!!

oh god I forgot Nott disguised herself as a pink goblin.  Doesn’t she scare some kid into crying in a park, later?

Ooop, there’s confirmation.  Caduceus had always intended the sword to be for Fjord.  That’s me misreading into things XD

Name drop of Uthodern, but I love that this section has just become playfully mocking Beau.  Bow bo Beau bo bow bo bo.  XDDDD  (Also huge character growth that Beau just rolls her eyes at it rather than getting upset.  Being able to give playful jabs is one thing, being able to take playful jabs is something else entirely, and I can see early game Beau hitting someone with her staff for making a joke like that)

….whoops, I spoke too soon.  She smacks Fjord in the face as she puts her staff away.   (I still think she is less upset then she would have been early game, but clearly not as far as she’s going to go)

Are they only just learning that Jester basically never left her room now??  I could have sworn this came up earlier!  Maybe she told someone else?  Or maybe I’m just using the foreknowledge that I have and assuming that more in known than expected.  But I really could have sworn this was already discussed, and this is why Caleb was worried that Marion was a bad mother!

I’d say the bookstore poetry was 15% Nott and Jester messing with Caleb, and 85% Sam and Laura messing with Liam.  He did surprising well!  I would have full on blue screened, I think.

...Laura forgot that people can reply to Sending XD

HOW did that five seconds of Nott playing in the dirt contain so many levels????  First you have the utter joy and relief for being back on dry land, no kissing of the ground or histrionics, but a very legitimate reaction of just digging your hands in.  Then you have Nott coming face to face with a child, only a few years older than Luc, and the differences between her initial reaction of LIE HIDE DECEIVE and her desire to just play with a child again.  Ending with the ‘playing’ by throwing dirt in his face, causing him to start crying and  her to run off in a panic, not only did she upset a child (would she upset Luc?), but she still has to be aware of how she looks.  Pink or not, it’s a goblin who made a child cry and could easily be considered a threat.   ALL OF THAT IN A TINY LITTLE HUMOROUS SCENE OF SAM AND DIRT.   AND THEN!!!! Marisha says “Sam attempted to have a dad moment and it failed!” WITH NO KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT’S TO COME AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I’m not saying too much because I’m just watching with a smile on my face.  I don’t need them constantly, but I LOVE a good downtime episode.

Caleb hates Nugget SO MUCH and then sometimes Liam breaks through who loves the doggo.

Matt and Sam in the SHRILL VOICE competition with this gnome shopkeeper, I LOVE IT

Oop poor Liam, I think he just confirmed to Marisha that this conversation is messing with his ear. :(

I have not commented on the entire Wentsworth scene (we don’t even have his name yet) because again I’m just sitting here smiling. Such a good episode, I love this so much.  (also hellooooooo fishmarket XD)

Aw :(  The little dig from Beau about how Fjord didn’t trust her talking about the door appearing but trusted Caduceus.  That must sting after the whole time on the sea.

Wait, Wensfeld?   OOOPS.  Can’t remember names for shit, could have sworn it was Wentsworth.  Watch as that ends up being some well know butler name from something or other and I am a fool. XD  ALSO HI YUSSA

So many things I forgot!  Only Cad and one other were allowed it, it’s all because of the tea, Yussa loves his tea, how dismissive he is with Beau (holding up a finger at her to wait while the drinks tea and discusses it with Cad.  That finger is so fucking rude and dismissive and fits him perfectly at this stage).

Beau’s info dump to Yussa reminds me of the dance scene from Chicago! for the courtroom.  She is tap dancing so quickly around truths and half truths and lies, and honestly doing incredibly well! Again though, I forgot that they were so squirrelly with Yussa at the beginning!  I shouldn’t have, because this is the Nein, when do they trust ANYONE, but knowing the relationship that they have saving this disaster wizard, I was expecting a much more neutral-positive interaction.  (especially because I’m pretty sure that Caleb gets the teleportation circle in this scene?  If not, then the animated recap lied to me XD)

Interesting that it’s still the Happy Fun Time Ball for now, I wonder when it starts getting shortened to Happy Fun Ball?  Also very interesting that Yussa knew that it belonged to Halas after using what can reasonably be assumed to be an Identify spell.  Because Caleb’s Identify was blocked by the sphere.

Liam reacting as Caleb when Beau starts sharing about what the beacon can do.  He may not be there, but oh boy Liam knows that sharing info like that with a wizard is RISKY AF.

I need to take a moment to pause here and just discuss about how much these players (all eight of them) are so fucking phenomenal about characterization and staying in character.  I can very easily see Marisha being able to give a much clearer and straightforward explanation of items to be able to get on Yussa’s good side, or even just an appeal to emotions.  But BEAU can’t do that, and she role plays so naturally that it’s easy to forget that it isn’t Marisha being stilted and awkward, it’s Beau.  Taliesin is phenomenal as Caduceus, but it’s easier to see him holding back knowledge out of character, to see him start to say or want to say something and then remember that Cad isn’t smart enough to say it or to verbalize it properly.  Long scenes like this are just showcases of the talents of these people, and it’s wonderful to watch.

Also, seeing more hints of Expositor material peeking through, but not fully developed yet.  Beau’s growth is one of the best of the entire campaign.

One of the things that I always need to remind myself is that when I watched this, I was not watching it live.  Liam panicking trying to open some snack saying he needs to stress eat, Marisha’s hand shaking badly after the scene, there was so much TENSION here that honestly?  I won’t say it went over my head, but it’s impact was lessened for me.  It’s the excitement I have now with watching C3, I don’t KNOW how interactions will end.  I don’t have youtube comments giving an indication, I don’t have an episode title that may be a clue, I don’t have seeing something on the internet ahead of time.  Tension feels more palpable to me in C3 because of that lack of knowledge.  Even as evidenced above, my comments were all about the awkwardness or the RP skills, no comments about the stress of the scene, because that stress didn’t really register for me, especially not with the knowledge that Yussa is 1) an incredible ally and 2) dumb AF with this group needing to rescue him all the time XD

I think the only part of Yussa keeping the fun ball that I don’t like is that he got all the gold and books.  THE NEIN DESERVE THE LOOT.  Aside from that, I actually enjoy that they gave it to him?  I think if they held onto it not only would they not have probably explored it as much just due to regular other plot stuff going on (no external motivation of saving Yussa), but also they may have given it to Essek or someone they were trying to impress in the Dynasty.  And I prefer Yussa having it over Essek (or at least early Essek).

Just did some research, in 37 episodes, Yussa will give them 2,100 platinum from Halas.  This rings SO different to me know with the knowledge that Vox Machina, at the START of the streaming, was offered 25,000 gold for the Kraghammer stuff.  The Nein are SO SO SO dnd poor.  (to be fair, both groups are around level 10 at that point, so it makes sense, but still.  VM was so rich omg)

With all of Liam/Caleb’s facial expressions and Yussa’s comments about earning magic, I very much wonder if any of this is familiar wording to him that Trent would have used, if this is bringing up any old memories, or giving feelings of distrust.   ...why yes, I do enjoy angsty caleb fics how could you possibly guess that XD

...did we all just forget that Yussa has other teleportation circles? They NEVER get discovered or shared or mentioned again ever XDDD

That quiet conversation between Caleb and Yussa was going so well until Yussa told him to “use who you need to” and Caleb shut down out of the conversation.  This makes me wonder about how much Matt has an idea of what words Trent used with Caleb.  Were he and Liam on the same page and discussed it?  Did Liam give examples when he was creating backstory?  Did Matt give examples when he decided the way the backstory would go?  The residuum shards were Matt’s idea, after all.  Is this a case of two actors being on the same page and coming to the same conclusions without any back feedback, or is this a case of two actors being on a different page, where Matt intends for Yussa to come off in a different way than Liam interprets it?   UGH SO GOOD

Every once in a while there’s little bits that I don’t like how something is done.  I don’t like that Caduceus knew Caleb said the Nein were foolish.  Cad may be observant, but I call BS on him being able to determine that.  It’s a moment that feels to me more like Taliesin just wanted to metagame a little.   (AS A REMINDER – I love all the players and respect them and the way that they play.  I do not dislike or hate any of the people involved in Critical Role. This is all just my personal opinion on how something played out and I can be completely wrong and just have to deal with having seen it wrong.)

LET’S GO MARION!!!  Walking the 15 feet to the cart!!  This is also the first time where it’s overtly shown that she has at least some level of agoraphobia.  But UGH I feel just as proud of her as Jester does!!  (also Jester giving the honey is so sweet!  So sweet in fact, that she’ll do it again later on because Laura forgot she did it the first time XD)

I feel a bit bad that Caleb is prioritizing Jester over Nott, but at the same time, as far as he is aware, Nott only wants to take a quick peek in on a halfling friend that she knows, whereas Jester has had to leave her mother for very long stretches of time.  It makes sense, even taking out his crush on Jester, that he considers letting her spend a few days with her mother more important.  But it hurts a little part of me that he’s not making Nott his number one priority.  As much as Caleb adores Nott and is impressed by the spells that she learns, there’s a part of him that always discounts her, in a way.  She’s Nott, but she’s face value.  She’s his friend and champion, and that’s kinda it.  Learning about Veth and her family was a bit of a wakeup call, I think.  There’s depths that he didn’t know.  There’s a level to her that he can’t understand.  There’s more to her than just his wishes.

I love how I immediately get upset about Dairon being hurt in Bladegarden, then I remember that she’s faking it to try to keep Beau away and I’m not upset anymore.  XD  You tried, Dairon, but this is Beau.

This conversation with Beau and Caleb really is just their whole relationship, isn’t it?  They care so much about each other, and will ALWAYS talk past each other.  Always.  Caleb is so scared that him being around the Nein will cause harm to them because of him, and Beau wants him to know that they want to be able to care for him regardless of the risk and they just talk past each other.  Empire Siblings.  The best platonic pair or the BEST platonic pair?  Trick question, the answer is YES.

(also I remember that in the talks after this episode Marisha talks about how she as Marisha was listening to Caleb and understanding completely and then having to go – well, BEAU doesn’t understand. I get it all, but she doesn’t, so here we go!  It’s so great :) :) :))

Nothing makes me smile more than the silly fun scenes that are quick and so absurd – everyone asking Bryce if they have paperwork that the Nein can use for forging, and then telling Bryce that congratulations they passed the test, they are truly virtuous.  It’s SO ridiculous, and just this quick little taste of a scene which doesn’t last too long.  It’s just wonderful.

Off topic, but I love whenever a player laughs with their whole body. Contagious happiness :)

Hello Vess and Ludinus you evil bitches.  One down, one to go.  XD

Liam’s gagging, Sam’s shaking, I love that both their backstories are coming FULL FORCE and they’re both like FUCK NO.  Sam was prepared because Felderwin, but Liam’s like WAIT THIS ISN’T MY TIME NO DON’T

Sam’s super subtle lip curl and inhalation when Matt says that the Brenatto Apothecary has burned to the ground.

“Jester, open the door.  Caleb.  Open it.”  This is so fucking powerful.  I don’t see people speaking about this a lot, but the emotions and despair shown by Sam rival the Travis “fix him!” in my opinion.  Maybe not as powerful to the audience, because it’s basically an unknown NPC versus Scanlan, but the EMOTION.  Sam Riegel, how dare.

OH GOD THE CHAIR.  THE CHAIR.  We’ve met the BBEG.  IT’S THE CHAAAAIRRRR!!!  *ducks Matt Mercer’s glare from all the way over here*

Holy fuck, I forgot just how much text they got from the notes!  That was a LOT!!!  Also, who the fuck are the Trent students who are showing skills at Dunamancy?????  Not Astrid or Eadwulf, I don’t think we ever see them use any?  And it was too early for Caleb…. Do we ever find out?

Nott turning on Caleb, Caleb vomiting everywhere, this whole section is a beautiful mess.  The distressed chaotic aspect to it, the two plotlines coming together in the WORST way.  I am so glad that Matt decided to tie their stories together, it works so well for these PCs.  (Plus Liam and Sam being best friends, there’s no risk with one of them feeling like the other is stepping on their backstories toes.  Not that I think the rest of the group would if it was one of them?  But just, these two.  My heart.)

I love many many things that Caduceus says, but I have a special soft spot for him comforting Caleb by letting him know that Nott’s anger is not about him.  He doesn’t say a word against Nott’s anger, he doesn’t say that she’s wrong, he doesn’t do anything to invalidate it.  He just let’s Caleb know that it’s not about him, and that he will be the solution, not the problem.  It’s small, but it’s so beautiful, so honest.  This.  THIS is where Caduceus shines.  (and like a billion other ways.  But also this)

….it’s been like 20 episodes since they got the bag of holding, and they just forgot that they had it XDDDDD

Here is is.  I was thinking that the Chair actually wasn’t that big of a deal, but HERE’S where all the questions are XD

oh wow.  I forgot how quiet and scared Luc was at the start.  This makes me really appreciate his rambunctiousness later as he heals. He’s so quiet!

(also I didn’t comment because I was watching intently, but SAM FUCKING RIEGEL.  I love that Travis and Liam sloooowly lift their heads up at the same time.  SAM.   RIEGEL.   Reminder that I hadn’t seen C1 at this point, I didn’t know about the “what’s my mother’s name” scene.  I’d only seen Sam in mostly goofball bits at this time, he had a very rare few serious scenes.  THIS. THIS was my introduction to Sam Riegel being incredible at breaking your heart.)

Caleb’s pained looks when Nott calls Luc her brave boy, smart boy, good boy.

I consider this right here to be one of the biggest turning points of the campaign.  Molly dying was a big one because the group makes decisions that I think Molly would have fought against, we wouldn’t have gotten Caduceus and the Wildmother, nor would Lucien have been the same.  But THIS here, this is the big one.  Because this moment here is what sparks the campaign turning to Xhorhas.  I consider this either bigger than or equal to Caleb turning over the beacon, in terms of campaign turning.

@suicidallyreckless

[conceptstage]

Top 10 Beau/Jester moments and/or Top 10 Empire Sibling moments

Beau/Jester:

10. “I think you’re avoiding me and I think I know why”, Beau’s gay panic was palpable

9. “I follow Jester and whoever she follows I follow.”

8. “I slap her on the ass and say ‘The Traveler thinks you’re really cool!’“ Come on Laura Bailey, you know what you’re doing.

7. That time when Nott said that Beau was abrasive to talk to and look at and Jester defended her and Beau winked and blew her a kiss and Jester basically malfunctioned

6. Jester going wild after Beau got eaten by that bug thing on the way to Uthodurn

5. The “I love you” scene on the boat, I know they meant it platonically at the time but still

4. Beau’s confession to Nott, I don’t know what Marisha was thinking giving Sam that kind of ammunition but I can’t wait for it blow up in her face

3. Beau’s conversation with her father and Jester catches her right before she explodes. The surprised and tender look on Beau’s face is amazing.

2.  When Jester brought back that suit for Beau to wear because it showed how well she knows her and wants her to be comfortable

1. It was so hard to pick a number 1 but I think it has to be when Jester was determined to pretend to be her mother to trick The Gentleman and Beau thought it was a terrible idea and was trying to hard to protect her but said “I support you, I support you” and was fully prepared to follow her in there and clean up the mess no matter what if that’s what Jester decided to do.

Empire Siblings:

10. The talk around the campfire under Bazzozan with the slightly fermented pocket berries

9. Caleb giving Beau owl Frumpkin to have for a week

8. The first time they go to Cobalt together and he gives her thumbs up and she flips him off

7. Basically any time that Caleb polymorphs and makes it his life’s mission to annoy the fuck out of her

6. Everytime he goes into Frumpkin vision and reaches for her to be his eyes and she never lets him down

5. “Don’t go”

4. The first awkward sibling hug with Fjord and Yasha on the sidelines coaching them through it

3. When they find out about the library in Uthodern and look at each other in excitement

2. When he confessed his past to Beau and Nott at the inn

1. When they went to Cobalt in Rexxentrum and he looks at her fondly as she reads and thinks about how much she’s grown in their short time together.

There are so many good moments for both of these that I know I’m forgetting and I’ll kick myself for it later, but these are the ones I thought of right now.

[vividxp]

A list of Post-Episode 87 thoughts

1. The beacon exchange that King Dwendal is engineering is a total set up and I think he doesn’t know that it’s a set up. For as much as Dwendal talks about not trusting anyone and everyone, he is being led around in the dark by the Cerberus Assembly. 

2. Hot take: The only reason why Dwendal wants to end the war is because the Empire is losing. Think back on all the reports about the war’s progress, the Dynasty has won more victories than losses. 

3. MVP of the Campaign: Beau and her status as a Cobalt Soul Monk. Being able to act as an independent agent for an independent organization has given the M9 so much freedom of movement throughout the world. Literally, it came in the clutch at Darktow, It came in the clutch in the Empire, and Uthodern, I can feel it will be their way into other contents like Tal’Dorei if it comes to that.

4. The Cerberus Assembly is straight up lying. And there is proof. We know the Cerberus Assembly was doing experiments with dunamancy in Felderwin that had adverse affects on the population. We know that Yeza was working to create some sort of potion that will let them utilize dunamancy to gain advantages in battle. Were they successful? 

5. Since I am on Team “It’s a set up”, I think the strategy to avoid disaster is to keep Essek in the loop. He should be the first person who M9 goes to anyways to set up the Dynasty/Empire meeting, but more than just that, the M9 need to let him know of anything that seems suspicious. Otherwise if something goes down, the M9 is an obvious scapegoat.

6. In the shipping meme I marked Nott/Caleb as my Queerplatonic OTP and I’ve been especially vindicated in recent episodes. I honestly think it’s going to be end game. Lots of folks are still asleep on the concept because they think that that anything that involves Nott is some sort of a joke but I’m here to point out that some of the most serious and emotionally affecting moments in this campaign have been Caleb and Nott just being life partners who are ride or die for each other. I’m telling y’all now to get on the bandwagon.

7. As much as we all want it to be the time, it’s not the time to confront the Cerberus Assembly on all their bullshit. I think they’re gonna have to suck it up for the moment until the Cerberus Assembly or people on the Cerberus Assembly make their move. I think Trent, the bastard, is gonna be content subtly antagonizing Caleb in the near future. 

[astraeal]

1,7,14,28

1. What does your character typically keep in their pockets?

upon checking her inventory she has raw diamonds, her divination bones, a platinum ring far too big for any of her fingers, a vial of werewolf blood, a bunch of wolfsbane, her newly purchased butt plug, and incense sticks. 

but at the personal level she also has a journal, pen, and ink in which she keeps on her, because she’s now writing down the things that happen to her and the feelings and thoughts that she has, and kind of decompressing after each day. especially since she’s been traveling for quite a few days, and a lot of weird stuff has been happening to her, she wants to have a log of that so she can show her mentor later. 

7. How impulsive is your character?

it seems as if she’s impulsive but in reality she’s just a little naïve. she does things that are high risk low reward sometimes, and they are almost always because she’s trying to either help her friends or she’s done a risk benefit analysis and didn’t factor in a huge portion of the variables simply because she didn’t know they were there. 

riding a warg into battle only to have her be cut down immediately was a dumb choice, but she did it because the ranger’s cover had been blown and she was all alone in the midst of all these orcs, and fáelán wanted to draw fire away from bird so bird could escape. she took the warg because she was hoping she could ride in and then outrun the orcs and they could all get back on the road, just....running away from them. but the orcs focused on her and got her to 0 hp very very quickly and instead of being a quick rescue mission it turned into both her and the paladin making repeated death saving throws, and then the paladin both being very close to her and also sort of giving her the cold shoulder because she’d made him relive a trauma that no one had known about until that moment. 

see also: her telling ophelia mardoon to her face that she may think she runs shady creek run, but fáelán noticed more members of the uttolot family in the city, not the mardoon family. telling a crime boss that her rulership is being threatened is a bad idea. but they were at an impasse in negotiations – the party needed to get back to uthodern and she was the only person who was able to cast that teleportation spell (that the party knew of/had relations with) – and everyone else was either a) too caught up in the lying and deception of it all and not wanting to get caught giving away too much information or b) not....intellectually suited to come up with a plan. so fáelán went in with something that was both true and also offered their services, in a way that helped ophelia reclaim influence over the city and also let her and her party get a mode of transportation. 

these things seem very stupid and reckless, and they were, but she really had thought them through. so she wouldn’t say she’s impulsive, just young. but that young light of hers is kind of...getting crushed atm so who knows what’ll happen next. big moves only for this little cleric! 

14. Does your character value promises? Are they good at keeping them?

she does value promises, to an extreme degree. she is also very good at keeping them. to her, failing a promise and lying are two sides of the same coin - an instance where your words said one thing but your actions said another. she does not make promises she doesn’t think are worth it, however. she also certainly doesn’t make promises with individuals she doesn’t trust. 

28. Why do they keep secrets?

fáelán’s personal secrets are usually just by omission. no one’s ever asked about a particular thing, so she simply doesn’t bring it up. another reason she’d keep a secret would be if she knew something about someone else – that wasn’t dangerous or harmful to themselves or others – and it wasn’t her secret to tell. 

as an acolyte, she was trained in helping people grapple with all manner of secrets, and it was her responsibility to remind them that the luxon does see all, but that it’s not too late to come back to the original path fate had planned. that stuff she’s legally bound to keep to herself, so she does, but that’s just a part of her job. 

but again; secrets and lies are very, very close to each other. and if a secret starts to edge into becoming dangerous for others to know, or makes her complicit in a lie or something greater, she will not hesitate to reveal the whole operation.

[ slightly obscure d&d character questions ] 

[utilitycaster]

(inspired by this fanart and my own Bon Appetit watching)

Jester kicks them out of the kitchen right after breakfast. It’s still early - Caduceus and Fjord ate shortly after dawn, Beau and Dairon were also up on the early side and have been training since, Caleb hasn’t appeared yet, and so it’s really just Nott eating thick-cut, barely cooked bacon and a fragrant but somewhat stewed tea. Jester thinks she saw Nott tip some whiskey into it but she can’t be sure, and anyway that’s not what’s important now.

“I will be in the kitchen and I am going to make Nicodranas cinnamon donuts,” she says, shooing Nott towards the front hall.

“What about lunch?” Nott asks. Jester sighs loudly and counts out a few gold and slaps it on the table. “Buy lunch for everyone. My treat. Ask them what they want.”

“What about Caleb?” Nott asks. Jester sighs again and slices off some of the bread Caduceus baked yesterday, and pulls one of the strange, pale fruits found in Rosohna out of the pantry and puts it on the table next to the gold. “He can take this off the table but I NEED THE KITCHEN.”

At this point Beau and Dairon have peered in. “Donuts sound great, Jes,” says Beau.

“Thank you Beau,” says Jester. “Now let me have the kitchen!” Nott takes a heavy swig before wandering into the lab.

It’s raining heavily outside in addition to the perpetual dark, which is why she decided to bake today. She carefully sets down the small shaker of cinnamon she purchased - for too much, probably - in Uthodern and begins. She uses a little honey from when they stopped on Bisaft. She asked Caduceus last night if she could use some of the yeast from when he makes bread, and she bought extra flour and eggs and milk for the whole house (though truly she’s the one who drinks most of the milk anyway).

The dough is very sticky once it finally comes together. “BEAU!” she calls out. Beau comes down the stairs, her hair clean and wet from the bath and already twisted up in its knot. “Yeah?” she asks.

“Can you watch the kitchen while I take this into the cellar? The dough needs to be colder and I’m afraid someone will mess up the kitchen.”

“Sure,” Beau says. It’s during this few minutes, when Jester puts the dough in the cellar and runs to the bathroom for a moment that Caduceus wanders down.

“Smells nice,” he says. “You know, they sell cassia in the shops here, she could use that.”

“I think it’s like, more of the principle of the thing?” Beau says, tossing one of the gold coins on the table and catching it repeatedly.

“I guess that’s true. Hey, while you’re in there can I put some flour and water in the sourdough starter?”

“Don’t think I can, Deuce,” Beau says. “Jester was very specific.”

“Alright then, can you put some flour and water in the sourdough starter?”

“Fine,” Beau says, long and drawn out, but complies. Caduceus smiles and thanks her.

It’s noon when Caleb comes down, looking disheveled and ink-spattered. Jester is reading a book* still waiting for the dough to chill.

“I’m making donuts Caleb, don’t come in but there’s some bread and fruit for you...and someone will go buy lunch in a few minutes.”

“Hmm? Oh, I am fine, Jester,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I had one of those beads early this morning. I am copying some scrolls into my book.”

“What did you learn to do?” asks Jester. Caleb gives her a slightly tired smile and pulls out a small piece of fleece from his pocket, and suddenly an image of Nugget appears, wagging his tail and panting. Jester giggles and reaches out to pet him but her hand passes through.

“It’s an image only. Like Fjord used to be able to do,” Caleb says.

“Did you copy all the scrolls?” Jester asks. Caleb shakes his head. “Just the one. One of the others is very easy and I can copy it quickly tomorrow morning. The other will take me a long time, so I am taking a break so I can finish it by tonight.”

“Okay, okay,” says Jester. “What time is it?” she says.

“12:04,” says Caleb.

“Can you stay in the kitchen for a few minutes? I need to get the dough and get ready to fry it. Just keep people out,” she says. Caleb nods, sits in the chair, and summons Frumpkin to sit on his lap as he puts his head down on the table. After a moment he lifts his head up and without getting points a finger at the area below the pot and gets the fire started.

Jester comes back up. “Oh thank you Caleb! Do you want me to bring you a donut when they’re done?”

“Just save me one, yes?” he says, and nearly runs into Fjord as he enters in an old oilskin jacket over his shirt. “Oh, hello Caleb. I’m about to get lunch for everyone, care to join me?”

“I’m okay, but thank you,” Caleb says, still walking towards the stairs.

“He’s copying spells today, he said,” Jester tells Fjord as he picks up the gold.

“It smells good,” Fjord says to her. “Like that bakery near the docks in Nicodranas.” He walks out as Jester beams.

An hour later, Fjord walks in. Caduceus comes down when the bell jingles and they both see Jester, no longer smiling.

“It won’t puff up right you guys,” she says, looking at a flat, fragrant piece of dough.

“May I?” asks Caduceus as he tastes the fried dough. “Tastes nice - I don’t know what it’s supposed to be but the spices are a good balance.” Jester’s pout lessens but only a bit. Fjord takes a look.

“He’s right. I don’t know a lot about frying but it looks right, just not puffy.” Fjord turns and calls out “Lunch, everyone!”

Beau barrels down the stairs and Nott rushes in. “Where’s Caleb?” Nott asks. “And Dairon?”

“Caleb’s copying those spells all day - he said he ate one of those bead things,” said Jester distractedly. “Why won’t the dough work?” She walks back over to the heavy pot of oil sitting over the fire.

“Dairon said she’d be out, so who knows when she’ll be back,” says Beau. Nott nods, grabs some of the lunch food and walks over to the pot of oil. “Needs to be hotter,” she says through a full mouth.

“What?” says Jester.

“Needs to be hotter. Put a wooden spoon in and make sure it’s all covered in bubbles.”

“Are you sure?” asks Jester.

“Have you ever gotten a three year old to eat vegetables by dipping them in batter and frying them?” responds Nott. “Also don’t put too much dough in at once, Yeza said it drops the heat of the oil too fast.” Jester takes a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll move the pot closer. Now OUT OF THE KITCHEN.”

An hour later Nott comes back to the kitchen. “Did it work?” she asks.

“The oil was right but something was wrong with how I made them,” says Jester, near tears. “I’ll have to try again.”

Nott grabs one off the table before Jester can object. “Tastes pretty good to me,” she says.

“It’s not a real Nicodranas donut though.” says Jester. “You can have these though, just leave me one or two to see what I did wrong.” Nott opens her mouth briefly, pauses, and then starts again. “There’s a tavern I’ve wanted to check out back in the Gallimaufrey,” she says. “We’ll go out for dinner.” Jester nods and sits at the table for a moment before retying the green scarf she has holding her hair back and smoothing out her apron. “I will have donuts for you when you come back.”

The rainy afternoon passes quietly, everyone enjoying a rare day off. Nott and Beau play cards and from what Jester can hear through the walls, it gets very heated. Caduceus runs some other small errands, seemingly unbothered by the rain. Fjord’s room is mostly quiet, as is Caleb’s, though occasionally Fjord comes down and wanders around the floor restlessly. When he does that while Jester is waiting for the second proofing she offers to read him some of her book but he politely declines. “I’m glad you’re feeling better but I just need to think right now,” he says, walking back upstairs.

Caduceus comes back as she’s ready to bring the dough back from the cellar, and she asks him to hold the kitchen for her. “Of course,” he says. She brings it up and he takes a quick look. “Let that sit in the kitchen a bit and warm up,” he says. She pauses. “Why?

“These have yeast, right? It likes being warm.” he says.

“Can you talk to yeast?” she asks. He stops, considering. “I’m not actually sure, I’ll have to try that. But I bake a lot of bread.” He stares off into the distance for a moment until Jester realizes he’s trying to figure out if he can talk to yeast. She hands him a few grains. “If you want to try, here’s some to bring up to your room.” He thanks her and runs into everyone else, sans Caleb, at the top of the stairs.

“Caduceus, we’re heading back out - we’re going to have dinner at a tavern, let Jessie have the kitchen” says Nott. Beau is wrapped in her cloak, dark side out, and nods excitedly. “They’re supposed to have very good food,” she says. “And extremely good drinks, but also here they serve lots of tea with everything so you can actually have something you like.”

They all talk at once and laugh as they head out the door, and then the house is nearly silent, though Jester can hear the steady rain outside.

Moving slowly and carefully it takes her an hour or two - she loses track of time - to fry all the donuts and dust them with sugar and more cinnamon. She eats the first one and it tastes like home, and she smiles.

Caleb comes down a few minutes later. He still hasn’t shaved but his hair looks neater and the ink has been cleaned from his hands, though he looks tired. “That smells very good, Jester,” he says. “May I...?” and he gestures towards the pastry. She nods. “Did you finish copying your spell?”

“Ja, finally. Just the last one to go. I think I might do it tonight since it is an easy one and that way I will be fresh tomorrow morning,” but he yawns widely as he says it. He then takes a bite of the fresh donut. “Excellent,” he pronounces to Jester.

At that moment the bell rings and the rest of the party crashes in. “That was some good food,” Caduceus is saying. Beau looks a little flushed but happy, and the tension in Fjord’s shoulders seems to be lessened. “Good ale too,” Fjord says. Nott looks the same as always but not as drunk as she sometimes gets, and Jester is too pleased with herself to push it right now. “Oooh are the donuts ready?” says Beau. Jester nods happily. “Have some donuts,” she says, and hands them out. “Caleb, how did the spells go?” asks Nott with her mouth full.

“Very good,” he says. “I have the last one to do but I got the hardest one down, I think.” He puts a hand on Nott’s shoulder and whispers something and suddenly she disappears.

“Just invisibility?” they hear Nott’s voice say from the space she just left.

“It’s a bit more powerful,” Caleb says. “try...hmmm...Beauregard, do you think you can catch an arrow?”

“What?” says Beau, but before she can say more an arrow appears in the air and then it’s in her grasp.

“You are both very quick,” Caleb says drily as Jester laughs and Fjord rolls his eyes.

“Huh. Still invisible,” says Caduceus. Caleb smiles. “Indeed she is.”

“FUCK,” Beau says, picking up another donut. “That is CLUTCH.” Caleb’s posture relaxes a bit and Nott appears again, crossbow still drawn. Beau reaches out to grab her as Nott runs towards the stairs.

“Okay, let’s not” says Fjord but he’s too late - to Jester, it sounds as though they’ve gone out by the tree.

“They’ll be fine,” says Caduceus, and slowly heads up after them.

“Good job, Jester,” Fjord says, and also heads up towards his room. Caleb goes to his room as well. “I think I will rest first, I can copy the last one in the morning.”

Jester takes one more donut and leaves one out for Dairon, just in case, and also goes up to the room to send her mama a message before Beau comes back in.

Late that night she is awoken by a soft sound coming from the kitchen and she gently tiptoes out to avoid waking Beau. Dairon’s cloak is wet from the rain as she stands in the dark kitchen, but she is slowly eating the donut and making a face that Jester thought might even be approval.

----------------------------------

*"In All Our Lives, it’s about two consecuted souls who are lovers in every different lifetime and Beau, it is so romantic!”