#and who doesn't wanna enter army if possible

[deetherusalka]

Extremely funny being after my dad in terms of like carrier interest and casually checking army positions and army university and trying to get more into strategy and security field while everyone around me is trying to save the planet or just find some comfortable office space

[sluttytommykinard]

This is for my fix-it au again

It has been 4 months since Tommy walked out of Evan's life and he would be lying if he said he is anywhere close to moving on from Evan. Tommy’s sitting in his backyard smoking a cigarette (he's basically lived out here for the last 4 months) when Evan's jeep pulls into the driveway. Tommy all but runs into the house to get the door so Evan can walk into his life again. “Ev-Buck, what are you doing here?” Tony asks as he lets Evan enter his house for the first time in 4 months. “I'm here because we need to have a human conversation. Why do you smell like a cigarette shop?” Evan says as he walks in and takes in the house just like he did the first time he walked into this house. “I've already said everything that I needed to say,” Tommy says without answering Evan's question. “Maybe you have but I haven't, Tommy I haven't said even close to what I need to say,” Evan says without looking away from Tommy, pretty sure that he can't if he wanted to. Tommy waits for Evan to say what he needs to before speaking at all. “I tried to take your advice and explore but you wanna what I found? That you're all I want in this life and any life Tommy,” Evan says with tears in his eyes and Tommy finds it hard to look at Evan out of shame. “Let's try dating again, baby please?” Buck asks as he cups Tommy's face as gently as possible. “Okay let's try again” Tommy says kissing Evan gently and passionately. “I love you Tommy” Evan says once they break the kiss so they can breathe. “I love you too Evan” Tommy whispers into the small space between them, not letting Evan get too far away from him. “You still haven't answered why you smell like a cigarette shop” Buck points out, making Tommy sigh. “I had a smoking problem back in the army and after the breakup I started smoking again,” Tommy says, biting his lip nervously without making eye contact with Evan. “Can you promise me that you'll try to quit?” Buck asks, skimming his fingers over Tommy's clothed chest. “I promise,” Tommy says, finally looking at Buck again before dipping his head and kissing Buck's neck. Tommy really does try his best to quit but all that really happens is he cuts back a bit. A few days later Tommy's in the bathroom smoking a cigarette when a tired Evan walks in. “I thought you said you'd quit?” Buck asks trying not to sound annoyed or condescending, knowing that Tommy probably did try to quit. “I said I'd try which I did but it hasn't been easy,” Tommy replies, putting out the cigarette even though he doesn't want to. Buck doesn't realize that he's crying until he's wrapped up in Tommy's arms. “I'm so sorry. If I hadn't said what I said that night and said that I love you instead we wouldn't have broken up and you wouldn't have started smoking again.” Buck says, still sobbing in Tommy's arms as they sit on the floor. “It's not your fault baby it's mine. I'm the one who got scared that night and left when I should've told you I love you,” Tommy replies, rocking Buck back and forth to calm him down. Things get worse after that and Tommy almost commits suicide after being drugged at work. Buck is sitting in Bobby and Athena’s new living room when he gets the call from Lucy about what happened. Buck races to the hospital and finds out that Tommy is unconscious but Buck can still sit in the room.

@bucktommyscones @buckevantommy @cjlouwho @tommyandrockersboy

[monellabella]

Being from a place doesn't mean that one group indigenous to that place gets to go and kick everyone else who is also indigenous to that same place. It certainly doesn't mean that one group indigenous to that place gets to bomb innocent civilians because that is not the way to catch terrorists. Even if the terrorists die, so did countless people who weren't terrorists. Being indigenous to a land also doesn't mean that said group should deny humanitarian aid to another group, whether that group is indigenous to that area or not.

First of all, if you really wanna have a conversation about this come off anon- I don’t bite.

Secondly, Palestinians as a national group do not fit the UN* criteria for indigeneity, even if many of them have jewish, druze, or ancestry from other groups indigenous to the levant- because indigeneity is not solely based on DNA and ancestry, it’s about cultural practices that show a clear connection to the physical land (among other things). Of course, I fully support the formation of a Palestinian state alongside Israel, and this does not mean that they have any less right to live on the land and claim it as their home, considering the very long history Palestinians have in the region. When Jews immigrated en masse to British Mandate Palestine after WWII, they did not kick anyone out- they legally purchased empty land. What happened was the neighboring arab countries felt threatened by the growing Jewish population, and when israel declared itself a state they told arab palestinians to leave their homes so the arab armies could come in, but that it would all be over within two weeks and they could come back. The arab armies lost the war and israel won the territory.

With all this in mind, are you telling me that Hamas, a genocidal terrorist organization that abuses its own citizens, has the right to enter a Israel’s internationally recognized sovereign territory, brutally rape and slaughter 1,400 of its people (1,200 of them Israeli), kidnap over 200 of them (130 are still being held in captivity, including the bodies of dead hostages which Hamas refuses to return), including children and the elderly, and yet the Israel has no right to respond militarily? Do you hear how insane that sounds?

Yes, the fact that innocent Gazans are killed as a result of the bombing is undoubtedly a tragedy- but that’s what war is. Over 2 million German civilians were killed in WWII, yet no one would argue that the allies didn’t have a right to attack Germany, nor has anyone ever made the argument (to my knowledge) that the allies had a responsibility to provide German citizens with humanitarian aid. The only responsibility a country responding to an attack on its territory has to the citizens of the opposing country is to take every measure to ensure that as few civilians are killed as possible- which Israel has done. They’ve sent down flyers, made phone calls, sent text messages, and use “door knocker” bombs that shake the building without destroying anything to warn people to evacuate. Strategically, telling civilians exactly when and where they will attack is a horrible idea as it alerts the enemy (Hamas) exactly where Israel will be striking. But i’m not at all opposed to these methods because they save innocent lives. It’s horrible and traumatizing when people’s homes are destroyed and they are only given minutes to evacuate, but is that not a better fate than death? Not only that, but Hamas has built MILES of underground tunnels underneath Gaza using money from aid organizations. With the money they have, they could’ve built bomb shelters, a defense system like the iron dome, but instead the leaders of Hamas are billionaires living in luxury in qatar while their people suffer. Because the truth is, they don’t care about Gazans, they have said themselves they have no interest in running Gaza and their only goal is destroying Israel and the Jewish people.

One could argue that Israel could do a better job of warning civilians, and at this point I (an American Jew) and most Israelis are unsure what further bombing of gaza is even accomplishing and are furious with Netanyahu and his cabinet. With that being said, Israel estimates it has killed somewhere between 9,000-13,000 hamas terrorists, if the death toll of 34,000 provided by the gaza ministry of health (which is controlled by hamas) is to be believed (and I say this bc Hamas has a history of lying about the number of deaths and also does not differentiate between civilian and combatant casualties), that still means that the combatant to civilian death ratio is roughly between 1:3 to 1:1. The average ratio in urban warfare is closer to 1:14. Israel has absolutely zero responsibility to provide humanitarian aid to Gazans, that is the responsibility of Hamas- the de-facto government of Gaza that started this war in the first place. And YET there are more than double the amount of aid trucks entering Gaza than before the war (70/day vs now 300/day). Yet half the population of Gaza is on the brink of starvation- Why? Because Hamas is literally STEALING HUMANITARIAN AID for themselves and selling it back at exorbitant prices.

[blueskittlesart]

not the same ganon anon but in your tags you offered strategies?? send help plz 🙏🏻

yes ok here is blueskittlesarts extended spoiler-free totk ganondorf strategy guide! specially formulated for players who generally suck at combat because me too bestie LMAO

pre-depths preparations:

as many sundelion foods as you can physically carry. fuck other healing food it just takes up inventory space. make sure your food can both restore your hearts and get rid of gloom-infected ones at the same time, and make sure you have A LOT of it. food that gives you extra hearts will also be VERY useful.

gloom-resistant food from dark clumps is ok but less useful because it doesn't stop ganon's hits from infecting your hearts, it only defends you from gloom that you might wander into on the floor of the arena. if you don't trust yourself to avoid it, bring some, but keep most of your inventory space for sundelions.

get good at flurry rush dodges if you can’t reliably perform them right now. trust me.

you want at least 100+ arrows and 60+ bomb flowers. seriously do not skimp on these things

as many STRONG shields as you can carry. try to get brand-new ones to maximize durability

i would not EVER go into this battle with less than 15 hearts. i had 17 when i fought it and was still dangerously low by the end. trust me on this

pre-ganon segment (depths):

im gonna be real you wanna savescum your way through this to maximize your survivability with ganon. do not use your food when you get hit, just reload a save and go again. save every time you beat anything, and avoid enemies at all where possible. use arrows when you have to fight but do NOT use your bombs, save those for later. the goal here is to get to the ganon’s army fight with full health without using any of the food you prepared, because there’s no teleport waypoint down there so you have to get through everything in one go. (if you have the travel medallion you may be able to negate these preparations by placing it once you get down to the last section of the depths before the battle kicks in, but I didn't so this is how i did it lol)

ganon’s army:

bomb arrows. bomb arrows are your best friend. the second each segment starts, dash as far away from the enemy spawn points as possible and fire off bomb arrows at them. don’t worry about running out your arrows or bombs because they are useless with actual ganon. this is what we brought them for. again, your aim here is to NEVER get hit so you can enter ganon’s battle with full health and all your food. this means staying far back and firing arrows like your life depends on it. ignore the sages, their abilities are useless here.

ganon phase 1:

this is the most straightforward phase i think. guard, dodge, and flurry rush. you should never try to hit him outside of a flurry rush because that gives him easy openings on link & he will often dodge your hits anyway. keep your shield up until he swings, and go for a perfect dodge every time. he has decently wide dodge openings so once you figure out the timing for each attack you should be ok. try to get hit as little as possible. you still want to maximize your food by saving it for the third phase.

ganon phase 2:

same as before, except extra phantom ganons make it extra annoying. they have the potential to fuck up your targeting, so your first priority at all times should be to make sure you’re guarding from the REAL ganon and not one of the others, because he will ALWAYS be targeting you. you can mostly leave the phantoms to the sages. continue dodging and flurry rushing in this stage, but be mindful of phantom ganons because they can mess up your dodges if you run into them or they hit you.

ganon phase 3:

this one is the hardest. use your food liberally now; this is the last time you will need it. do not try to hit him with melee attacks, even flurry rushes. it will not work. don’t go for arrows either (one online strategy guide claims arrows are the way to go in this fight. they are WRONG), it usually just gives him an opening to hit you back, and his attacks in this phase are capable of permanently DESTROYING your hearts, meaning even sundelion food wont get them back. your objectives here are 1. DO NOT GET HIT and 2. hit his own attacks back at him. when he goes for melee attacks, dodge or guard and then jump back as far away as possible. the further you are from him the more likely he is to go for ranged attacks, which is what you want. when he fires off balls of scary pink fire at you, hit them back at him with the master sword. they will do comically little damage and you will initially be frustrated. this is a waiting game. as long as you can wear him down with his own attacks while avoiding getting hit by him, this part of the battle is decently easy to win, it just takes a LOT of patience and dodging.

ganon stage 4:

this one is easy. if you’ve gotten here, you’ve basically already won the game. good luck!

[backuparguelles]

Libby Becomes a Wraith

A possible One-Shot hopeful to see if Libby can become Wraith just like Molly and Darryl.

Libby: I can open the portal again with my one hand spell. Darryl: can it open? I wanna see the Ghost World. Darryl: me too. I can’t believe this is happening. U a wraith for the first time. Libby: If we gonna start an new ghost army against Jinx and the Sobgoblins. We have to convince them to team up together. Darryl: we need to cross the portal twice and hide our human bodies in Molly’s room so our parents won’t know until we’re nearly dead but lumpy. Libby: okay the words for this portal spell are “GHOSTUS PORTALUS UNIVERSUS”. (The portal opens). Darryl: now we need to jump in and split our soul, here we go! (Suddenly Darryl’s body dropped and feeling a little bored and still alive) Darryl: ta-da!!! Now see your own green glow! Libby: oh my corn. Okay I can do this, sweet mother of corn here I come! (Same thing happened, of course it’s the same Libby kinda). Holy corn cob I got no legs and ears. But I feel cozy tho. Darryl: C’mon Libby we need to get inside. I wanna scare someone later on! (As they enter the portal it’s a lively but scary when they tour the Ghost World) Libby: Oh wow!!! This is the afterlife of an another dimension. I feel a little tingly in this ghost world. Darryl: C'mon Libby, we need to convince that Jinx is upending this world. Just because we have different powers but doesn't mean we can overthrow someone's universe. Libby: I feel breezy but I think I blow wind like uh oh... (ROOOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!!) (Wind blows the whole ghost world) Darryl: sorry everyone, every kid has to go puberty. Sally: hey? I know you guys, your the 2 kids with Molly McGee right? Darryl: I’m Darryl McGee, Molly’s little brother. Libby: And I’m Molly’s best friend Libby Stein-Torres my apologies to the windy hurricane I made. Sally: reminds me of my brother Ezekiel he’s a blowhard. Darryl: Well this our first time coming here, did you see Molly flying like a rocket fairy style? Sally: yes! She broke of The Flow of Failed Phantoms, and now Scratch is now our Chairman!!! Libby: whoa, all in one glowing touch boop to the old Chairman? Darryl: that's my big sister Molly for ya, but I'm sure there's a new evil afoot. Sally: oh you mean the other members of the Ghost Council plus Jinx and her Sobgoblins? Oh boy the balance of power of shifted. Darryl: hey, not every ghost is baddie or sometimes... But If we team up along with other ghosts we can overthrow Jinx and the Sobgoblins. Sally: can we add Geoff and Jeff too? Geoff knows Molly ever since Scratch met her. Darryl: u got it Sally, welcome to team McGee!!! Libby: so what are we gonna do now? Sally: I’m really hungry lunch in my farm, with a big bear ride. Darryl: whoa! I call shotgun!!! Libby: wow I never ride in a bear before. Sally: don't worry, afterlife doesn't bite. Giddy up!!! Bear: ROOOOOOOAAAARRRRR. Libby: Tally-Booooooo!!!!!! Darryl: Hey Geoff! Hey Jeff! Geoff: Hey look, Molly’s brother and best friend is here. Jeff: rock on little dudes!!! Darryl: I’m Darryl and she’s Libby! We can fight against Jinx and the Sobgoblins together!!! Geoff: really because she threw me into the Flow of Failed Phantoms! Jeff: wait what? Who told u that? Geoff: of course it’s Molly and Scratch. Jeff: don’t worry kids we can stop her evil hag together. If she hurt me and/or Jeff. I’ll suffer her like wildfire!!! Sally: u can count on us y’all. Wanna have lunch with us? Geoff: wow in the garden. Wait for us!!!

At Sally’s Farm, Jeff: So your Darryl and Libby, I know u gonna have a great team with Molly. Geoff: not bad for a goofball and shy girl. Darryl: thanks I nearly a bad boy but I somehow care for my family especially Molly. Jeff: hey like Molly said, not all ghosts are bad. Libby: wow, I need feel alive as an afterlife. I got to scare someone, no offense. Geoff: hey no worries, Because Scratch is now the Chairman. We’re free at last against the rules of misery!!! Libby: well Molly stopped the Chairman but since neither, me, or Darryl are not dead yet. We can start an army against Jinx! Darryl: fist bump time? Jeff: u got it lil dude!. Geoff: let’s all hug out! Sally: hey wait for me y’all. Your all cutie patooties!!! Libby: wow, we’re all invisible and soft! Ahhhhhh that’s the stuff.

The end

[porter-pumpkim]

GUESS WHO RANDOMLY RE FIXATED ON AN OLD IDEA!

So, that rise TMNT amphibia au, think I called it rise of amphibia or something? That! Specifically when it gets to the part where raph and Mikey finally reunite

Unlike Sasha, raph genuinly thinks this is a peace negotiation and an innocent party, while grime is scheming behind his back to kill hop pop,

I can absolutely see sprig being jealous that Mikey has another sibling sense in this au by now Mikey is HIS brother, then suddenly this HUGE SPIKEY HULKING MONSTER SHOWS UP WITH THE TOAD ARMY, STANDING NEXT TO CAPTAIN GRIME! and Mikey is just like "RAAAPH!" and leaps into a tackle hug, meanwhile raph is fully prepared to adopt his little brothers second family.

The first half of the episode plays out fairly similar, although instead of raph insisting on being alone with Mikey, its grime insisting raph and Mikey catch up

Grime "you two catch up on what you've missed, I'm sure you have many stories to tell, I'll 'deal' with the frogs."

Raph "You sure there grime? You ain't really the best with... face man stuff- raph can help out if-"

Grime "nonono! You deserve some proper family time, besides, I'm sure... I wanna say minni? Would love a tour of your new room!"

Mikey"Say what-"

Raph "I mean, a little brotherly time wouldn't hurt-" (he probably really wants to be alone with Mikey just to make sure he's ok real quick but also doesn't fully trust grime to run what he thinks is a peace thing yet)

The part at the frog party with sprig finding out its a trap plays out as normal, meanwhile with raph and Mikey, raph is full on babying Mikey, pestering him on if he's ok, what happened while he was alone, probably freaking out when he hears about the tax collectors breaking Mikey's arm that one time and planning a VERY stern talking too for them, while Mikey is asking why raph is even with the toads when "they are literally known for being jerks!"

Mikey actually does need to use the bathroom or something when he tries to leave the room, but unlike with Anne, the door is actually locked, raph didn't do it, and they realized they've been locked in

CUE RAPH RAMMING DOWN THE DAMN DOOR!

the brothers head down to the party, the toads assuming raph knows the situation sense he's literally the luetrnnant, entering the banquet room where the frogs are freaking out and the toads are blocking them in

"WHATS GOIN ON IN HERE!?" "oooo you're in for it now! Get em lieutenant raph!" They leave the room, raph is very confused "no actually what's happenin? This was just supposed to be a party and then a negotiation!"

Sprig very much doesn't belive that raph is clueless and has deemed the giant spikey man evil.

Raph is guessing grime in fact did go behind his back and use the kill hop pop plans instead of actually fixigg tge frog opression issue, informing the frogs on what grime wants to do and that they need to get out, and of course the frogs are freaking out at the execute hop pop thing,

Mikey suggests they go through the sewers after trying to tell one eyed wally no bombing (wally still thinks yes bombing) "just like home!" The frogs are disgusted while for raph and Mikey things almost seem normal for a bit other than the sewer monster down there,

Acedentally get captured

"Ah lieutenant Raphael, always playing bog jump while everyone else is playing flipwart. I know you wanted peace but that simply isn't going to happen, the toads have ruled over the valley for generations, and will continue to do so once that pesky little frog is gone!"

Instead of making Mikey and raph fight, Mikey has to fight grime himself, sense raph refuses to hurt his brother, though raph probably tries to butt in once Mikey looks like he's losing (possibly grime causes the scar on raph? That or he butted in at the worst time so Mikey acedentally stabbed him) Mikey manages to defeat grime and demands he hold up his end if the deal to spare hop pop, and if course grime tries to just throw hop pop anyway, but right then wally's boom shrooms go off!

Grime falls off the tower while raph and Mikey try to get everyone down tge stairs safely, raph and Mikey try to discuss a plan while the tower crumbles, raph not wanting to leave Mikey, but also not wanting to abandon grime, even after this betrayal raph probably has at least seen some good in grime, plus he might need to prevent future crimes, Mikey convinces raph he'll be ok on his own, and with that, raph nods, then jumps off the tower.

Grime is at the edge of the woods with his small band of deserters, looking utterly lost, when a disturbingly large hand is placed on his shoulder, looking up, it's raph, who looks stern and dissapointed, like a parent about to give a lecture, before smiling, patting grime on the shoulder, before the team enters the woods, raph turning to nod a goodbye to Mikey, grime just sort of staring between them for a moment, before they fully leave.

Mikey waves goodbye enthusiastically with a wide smile, until raph is out of sight, and the smile becomes a bit more sad, small tears pricking his eyes

Sprig "you ok mikey?"

Mikey "yup! Totally.... fi.." He cuts himself off with a damn fountin of tears "aaAAAA I MISS HIM ALREADYYYY"

The little hug and fade out

Then the little bit at the fountain and the end of season 1

DIDNT MEAN TO WRITE AN ENTIRE EPISODE LAYOUT BUT EY IT HAPPENED! ifk why this su popped up again but oh god I was trying to figure out what was gonna happen with raph for way too long! But he fits so well for strength!

The story definitely changes a lot using Mikey, raph, and Donnie instead of the girls, but I think it still mostly works ^-^ plus it's just fun to think about

[randomshyperson]

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your lost - Part I “I will grieve”.

Serie Masterlist here || Part II|| Read on AO3 

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, hurtful behaviors, domestic wanda.

Chapter warnings: Heavy angst, death.

Author’s notes:  Hello readers! I'm finally back to posting something, but I disappeared for a good reason, I was writing three new series. And here is the first of them. I really enjoyed this work and it's something I've been trying to write since I watched WandaVision, and only now I've managed to put it into words. I am not finished yet, but there is only one chapter left, so your reading will not be affected. Pay attention to the warnings, and good reading!

Tag list (let me know if you wanna be tagged) 

@mionemymind​ / @abimess​ / @stephanieromanoff​ / @yourtaletotell​ / @tomy5girls​ / @justagaypanicking​ / @thegayw1tch​

//-//

Chapter One - I’ll grieve.

You wished you could go back to sleep as soon as you opened your eyes. The sound of your alarm buzzed loudly throughout the room, and after putting it on snooze mode at least four times, you finally got annoyed enough to grab it and throw it across the room. But the sound continued.

Letting out a grumble of dissatisfaction, you pushed the comforter off you, and sat up in your bed. Your room was a mess, but you just skipped through the clothes on the floor to reach the phone, turning off the alarm through the new crack you made in the screen.

"Honey, are you up?" you heard your mother's distant voice calling you through the door, probably from the living room or the kitchen. "Don't forget your therapy today."

You sighed impatiently, running your hands through your hair. The damn group therapy. 

Grumbling lightly, you forced yourself to take a shower, not wanting "poor hygiene" to end up on your progress report card. 

A while later, when you were finished, you went into the kitchen. Your mother was using her laptop on the counter, and just waved at you.

"Are you going to take me?" You asked her with your hands in your pockets. Your mother took her eyes off the screen to evaluate the sweatshirt you were wearing, and you rolled your eyes at her disapproving expression. 

"You know, you could try driv-"

"Mom" You cut her off in earnest, your heart racing momentarily. You don't drive. An she knows. Your mother sighs, putting her hands up in a sign of surrender.

"It was just a suggestion dear." She retorts as she stands up, reaching for her car key on the key rack exiting the kitchen. "But I'm busy with the store, you'll need to take the subway next time."

"Thanks for the support." You grumble as you step out in front and your mother lets out a wry chuckle.

You frown and let out a dissatisfied exclamation as you step outside feeling the sun's rays on your face.

"You're not a vampire, cut the drama." Mocks your mother by pushing you lightly to get you out of the way. 

You grumble  as you walk to the car. And when you are sitting on the seat, your mother is starting the vehicle and she asks:

"Are you sure you're not going to eat anything?"

Looking out the window, you just mumble that you're not hungry, and she shakes her head in disapproval before you back the car up. You don't speak any more on the way.

//-//

Your mother dropped you off in the parking lot of a gymnasium where the therapy group would be meeting. You sighed as you got out, and thanked her for the ride and the money she gave you to eat, even though you probably weren't going to use.

Resisting the urge to run away, you forced your feet to walk toward the place.

There were a few people at the door, but you didn't smile at any of them, entering the place with your head down and your hands in your pockets. 

And then a woman greeted you, and put a little sticker with your name on your shirt when you gave her your papers. 

Then she signaled the way you should go, and you ended up on the gymnasium court, where there was a wheel of chairs, and a table with food and drink, and several people scattered around, who you thought were part of your therapy group. 

Sighing impatiently you made your way to the bleachers of the venue, hoping to be alone until the session started and you could leave.

Fortunately it wasn't long before the leader signaled for everyone to sit in the circle, and you sighed as you stood up. You ended up with one of the chairs on the far left opposite the therapist, which could be bad since he would see you clearly.

"Thank you very much for coming." Said the therapist smiling gently as his gaze roved over everyone in the circle. You kept your gaze on your shoes. He made a noise with his throat. "Who would like to start today?"

The silence lasted for a few seconds, but then someone was speaking. You forced yourself to come back to reality and pay attention.

"[...] and this is my fourth week around here." Said a woman in a leather jacket. You noticed the army lanyard around her neck. She was talking about an accident when you got distracted again. Lightly poking your eye with your finger, you tried to focus again, letting out a low sigh. And then the therapist was talking again.

"We have new faces today." He said and you felt your heart speed up. You absolutely did not want to talk in front of strangers. "Why don't you share with us, miss?"

You raised your gaze to meet that of the therapist, smiling gently at you. The rest of the group looked at you as well. Taking a deep breath, you began to wiggle your fingers on your leg.

"I don't... I've never been in a group." You say clumsily. "What should I say?"

"Whatever you wish to say." He answers with a smile. You swallow the urge to tell him you didn't want to talk at all. Realizing your lack of response, he is quick to add. "Why don't you tell us why you are here?."

You let out a dry laugh. 

"I really didn't have much choice." You retort wryly. The therapist looks slightly surprised, but makes no mention of interrupting you. You let out a sigh before clarifying. "My psychiatrist, she...she didn't approve of my social ratings. She wanted me to talk to other people. People who... went through the same things I did." You count staring at the floor. When you look up again, the group still waits for you to continue, and you sigh, running your hands through your hair. "I haven't... I... I haven't talked to other people outside of my family in six months. Not since..."

You move your head, sniffling slightly as you straighten your posture. The therapist clears his throat.

"You just need to share whatever you are ready to tell us." He says gently, you nod slightly feeling extremely vulnerable. "But remember that this is a safe space. There is nothing to fear here."

And then he is talking about methods of easing the guilt, and dealing with the pain and you were distracted again. You would like to go back to bed. It must have taken a while, but the session is finally over.

The group dispersed around the room, and you went toward the therapist's desk to have him sign your schedule. He smiled as you approached.

"Miss Y/N/L, I was happy to hear that you would be joining us today." He said greeting you with a handshake. You nodded, taking the paper from your pocket. He chuckled, but accepted it. "You know, I'd like you to try to have a partner in the group, it's recommended for cases like yours."

"What do you mean cases like me?" You ask snidely, but he doesn't care.

"Doctor Harkness gave me your chart." He explained as he signed the paper you gave him while you frowned. "Extreme Social Anxiety in the first few months of treatment. Tendency to complete isolation, introverted..."

"Yeah I know my problems, buddy." You interrupt him with irritation. "You don't have to list them for me."

The therapist gives a lopsided chuckle, and holds out the signed paper to you. But he adds with a serious look:

"I'm here to help you, Y/N." He says. "Don't forget that."

You don't respond and take the paper, turning toward the exit. 

//-//

Your week passes slowly and tortuously. Which is surprising because you barely get out of bed. And then it is group therapy day again, and you are making a new crack at your cell phone screen.

Your mother greets you with a pat on the back as you enter the kitchen, and she is walking past you toward her own room.

You know you have to take the subway today, and you are trying not to think about it too much. As you are walking out the door, your eyes pass quickly over your car key, and you think you have a flash of memory, but you shake your head quickly, pushing the thought away. And then you walk forward.

And you are late for the session, because you can't take the bus to the station, since your feet simply didn't obey you. But that's okay, you don't really care.

You weren't the only one who was late. When you went to enter the door, a red-haired woman bumped into you, also running to get in. She smiled slightly as she apologized, and you just made room for her to enter first.

"Sorry Stephen." She said to the therapist as soon as you two entered the gymnasium, "I had an emergency with the kids."

The man just shook his head with a smile, and waved for you both to sit down.

"And why were you late today, miss Y/L/N?" He asked you. You shrugged your shoulders.

"I didn't wanna come." You retorted and the group giggled, and the sudden sound startled you slightly, but you just sat with your arms crossed. 

"Do you want to try again?" He retorted with light humor in his voice. And you bit the inside of your cheeks. And then you looked down at the floor.

"I couldn't get on the bus." You confessed next. Stephen looked at you tenderly, though, and you didn't like the feeling of your chest heaving slightly.

"And why do you think that happened?"

You shrugged, uncomfortable. 

"I don't know. I... There were too many people." You said embarrassed. And then you started twiddling your fingers, feeling all eyes on you. "I just... I knew I'd have to say hello to the driver, and the conductor. And then I would pass strangers in the hallway, and one of them would sit next to me. And I just... I couldn't."

Stephen nodded slightly in agreement.

"It's okay, Y/N. " He stated. "No one is judging you here."

You let out a dry laugh, and Stephen blinks in surprise, which spurs you to explode.

"Everyone is judging me, Doc." You say through gritted teeth, swinging your leg. "It's as if I can hear the gears in people's brains forming opinions about me." You state with a sigh. "Like my mother for example. She...she...acts like I'm past the time of mourning." You explain with tears in your eyes. "Like there's a limit, and I'm extending her goodwill. Because it's been six months, and she doesn't want me to be sad anymore. But guess what? I don't know how to move on!" You state angrily. "I can't! If I don't miss her, what's left for me? If I don't... God, I can't do this."

And you stand up, wiping your tears away, and walk out of the gymnasium, heading for the restrooms. You feel your heart racing, and it's hard to breathe. 

As you rest your hands on the sink, your brain starts to wander back to the day of the accident again. You choke, because it feels like you're sinking again. You see the water rising through the metal of the car. Your hands on the steering wheel, and then on the seat belt. You shake your head, pushing the images away, and rush to turn on the faucet in front of you and pour the water on your face.

You take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. And then there is someone entering.

"Are you okay?" Stephen asks and you nod lightly, ignoring the trembling in your hands as you stare at him through the reflection of the mirror. "I gave a break to the group, wouldn't you like to walk with me?"

"I'm not good company right now." You grumble but he smiles, nodding slightly as if to repeat the invitation. You take a deep breath before turning around.

You walk silently and slowly to the outside of the gymnasium, and then he is speaking again.

"You were very brave today."  He comments, and you let out a dry laugh. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I panicked today." You say. " It doesn't sound very brave to me."

Stephen smiles guiding you through the gymnasium entrance toward the parking lot.

"You talked about a trauma to a group of people." He says. "That takes a lot of courage, even if you don't believe it."

"I don't believe in anything." You grumble, but Stephen doesn't mind your hostility. He stays with his friendly posture.

"I would like you to accept my request from before." He said after a moment. "About a group partner."

You let out a sigh.

"I don't even know what that means." You retort with slight impatience as you reach the edge of the parking lot. You notice the garden a few feet ahead of you.

"It's like a therapy buddy." He explains with a smile. "We encourage socializing here. That's why Agatha recommended this group to you."

"Oh, of course you do. Agatha is a bitch." You wryly wipe your hands across your face. Stephen laughs lightly. "How does that work anyway? Do I have to hold someone's hand? Exchange friendship bracelets?"

"No, it's much better." He says with a chuckle. "You talk to that person. You exchange experiences with them. You learn to trust somebody else again."

"My god, it looks like a fucking Disney movie." You retort with irritation and Stephen lets out a laugh. And then you let out a sigh, shrugging your shoulders. "Okay, I'll do it. I have nothing to lose, and it seems that neither you nor Agatha will leave me alone if I don't agree."

"We want you to feel better. Don't take this as a punishment." He says, guiding you back to the gym. You nod slightly, thinking that it really does feel like punishment anyway.

//-//

You see Agatha the same week. Your appointments have been switched to monthly meetings instead of weeks as they were at the beginning of treatment, and while you appreciate the familiarity of seeing her, you can't help but feel irritated with her.

"Someone's grumpy." She comments as soon as you sit down on the couch in the room, to which you roll your eyes.

"You are always so very tender, Agatha." You mock as you cross your legs, hoping the time will pass soon.

Agatha laughs lightly, finishing tidying up a few things on her desk. And then she gets up and sits down in the armchair a few feet in front of the sofa where you are, carrying a small notebook in her hands.

"So, why don't you tell me how your your first two sessions in group therapy went?"

You let out a dry laugh.

"Like Stephen didn't tell you everything." You sneer and Agatha just smiles, waiting for you to speak. You let out an impatient sigh, before stating wryly. "It was amazing, doc. It only took two sessions for me to have a panic attack, so thank you for that."

"Why do you think that happened?"

You squeezed your eyes.

"I have no idea." You retorted. "I'm not the doctor here." Agatha laughs lightly, and then opens her notebook and starts writing something. You sigh impatiently. “Really, you're going to start that again?”

"If you don't talk, I write." She states simply, and you roll your eyes, shifting on the couch uncomfortably.

"Agatha, I just... I couldn't get on a bus, okay?" you tell her, and she closes her notebook to look at you attentively. You take a deep breath. "There were a lot of people. I don't mind walking anyway. It helps me think."

"You don't mind walking eight blocks?" She asks with a slight irony. "That's pretty athletic of you."

"It's weird that you know my address off the top of your head." You play lightly, and she just laughs, straightening her posture. 

"Why don't you just tell me what you want to tell me?"

"Why don't you ask me what you want to ask?"

Agatha blinks slightly in surprise, and then she shakes her head slightly, opening her notebook again. You sigh.

"Okay, sorry." You say, and she looks at you for a moment before closing the object again. I... I thought I was drowning again.”

"Are your nightmares back?" She asks seriously, and you deny it with your head.

"I feel too anxious to sleep." You tell. "And then I black out from exhaustion in the night or in the morning. I don't dream anymore."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

You sigh.

"Of course I have."  You say. "I don't... I'm having trouble keeping my mind still. Like the first few months, you know. Everything seems so noisy now."

Agatha nods slightly, becoming thoughtful for a few moments. 

"I know it may sound strange to hear that, but that means you're getting better." She declares and you frown in surprise, then let out a dry laugh.

"How is my peak anxiety a good thing?"

She opens the book again, but before you can ask what you said wrong, she is reading.

"The first day you were here, you said you felt like you were empty." She narrated and you swallowed dryly. "During your first two months, you continued to describe that you felt like an empty shell. And that you no longer had any dreams, thoughts, or opinions. Without your wife, you said you were no longer here."

You felt your eyes fill with water at the mention of her. But you swallowed your emotions. Agatha turned a page, and read for a few seconds, and then looked at you.

"With your history of anxiety, your mind was remarkably quiet after the passing of your wife." She says. "But now that you're on medication, and therapeutic treatment, plus you're socializing even superficially with the world again, you're starting to feel things again. That's progress."

You look away from her, nodding slightly, trying to believe her words, and trying not to be so terrified at the thought of learning to live again. Without Nat.

You choke slightly, holding back a sob, and then Agatha hands you a box of tissues, but you refuse with a nod, wiping away the tears that have slightly escaped.

"What do you want to talk about now?" She asks after a moment. You take a deep breath, still trying to calm yourself.

"Last week I took a cold bath." You count. "It was snowing."

Agatha blinks in surprise at the information and then lets out a giggle.

"You want me to write it in the book don't you?"

You laugh, wiping away the last of the insistent tears. You just hope Agatha could help you.

//-//

You hate coffee. But you barely slept last night, and now you need to stay awake during the group meeting, so instead of walking to the chair in the corner like you used to, you detour your way to the food and beverage table as soon as you arrive at the gym.

There are a few members around, but you don't look at them, just sidestepping as you extend your arm to the coffee bottle. You pour some, and as you touch the cup, you notice. It's cold.

"Hey sorry about that." Said a girl you thought was named Val or something, as soon as she saw you touching the cup. "We mixed up the shifts yesterday and nobody made new coffee."

You rolled your eyes, picking up the cup and throwing it in the trash. Then you forced a wry smile on the girl and walked outside. 

It was cold, but you are boiling with rage. It was just a damn cup of coffee, you thought as you closed your eyes and tried to reduce your anger. Just coffee. 

You stumbled with fright when Stephen called out to you.

"We'll get started in a minute." He said looking at you curiously. You just nodded, following him after a few seconds.

You bit the inside of your cheek when you noticed the same coffee girl as before, now sitting where you usually sat. The universe was testing you today. 

You just sighed, twiddling your fingers inside your pocket, and walked over to one of the free chairs.

After Stephen gave the briefing, he asked if everyone was all right, and the group lied in unison. You were almost asleep when he called your name.

"I would like to choose your partner today." He says and you feel your heart racing as you straighten your posture. "But I want to know if you have any preferences."

You blink in confusion, and roll your eyes.

"I don't know anyone here, but I'm sure they will all hate me equally, doc." You tried to joke, but Stephen only looked at you with concern.

"No one does or will hate you." He says and you swallow dryly, looking away as you mumble that it was just a joke. Stephen pauses momentarily before continuing. "You know that everyone here has their own experiences of loss and they are unique in their own way, even if they have similarities." He begins and you just wish he would speak soon who your partner is at once. "Usually we don't put new members together, but with the release of one of our members, the number ended up getting odd." He explains. "Anyway, I'm sure you and Mrs. Maximoff will get along very well together."

You frowned slightly at the whole explanation. Then you looked around the group, and realized that this Maximoff woman was the late redhead from the previous session who looked at you curiously. You looked away from her to Stephen.

"Thank you, doc." You said with a slight irony and Stephen just nodded smiling.

"Partners are grieving companions ladies." He says. "We will assess your progress at each session, and then switch partners once the necessary improvement has been achieved."

You grumbled in understanding, and looked away to your lap. When Stephen began to ask about the stories, your mind wandered to the departure time.

And when the session was over you wished you could go to sleep. But Stephen made a slight movement of his head in Maximoff's direction, and you understood that you should talk to her.

Ignoring the urge to show Stephen the middle finger, you just sighed as you got up from your chair and lazily walked over to the woman at the exit. She was talking to a man, and you were even more anxious to address not one, but two strangers.

"Hi." You greeted awkwardly, and both of them turned to you with mild curiosity. 

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" Said the man with a smile as he held out his hand to you. "I'm Bucky. James Barnes actually, but everyone calls me Bucky." He said and you shook his hand, smiling awkwardly. Then he quickly pointed at the woman.  "And this is Wanda Maximoff, your grief partner."

"Hi." Wanda said shyly as she offered her hand to greet you. You accepted as clumsily as she did.

"Sorry, I don't know how this works." You say. "Should we exchange numbers or something? Or is that just a therapy thing?"

Bucky gives a little chuckle.

"Oh believe me, they'll know if you're not making it work." He counters. "My first partner was Sam Wilson and we wanted to jump on each other's necks whenever we saw each other. And then Stephen asked us to move in together." He says and you blink in surprise. "We're married now, but that's not the point. I guess I'm getting off topic..."

"Bucky." Wanda interrupts with a smile, and he smiles half-heartedly as well. You frown, annoyed by Bucky's story. You didn't want to marry anyone. "I guess we'll make it work, I hope you don't mind having the company of two tiny restless creatures on our walks."

You look at her with confusion and then you understand, smiling shyly.

"No, it's okay." You say. "I like children."

"Really?" She asks in surprise.

You nod slightly. "Unlike adults, they tell the truth."

Wanda seemed to be thoughtful, but then Bucky lets out an exclamation.

"As group guide, I have to pass the to-do list to you ladies." He says pulling a small notebook from the back pocket of his pants. He pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to Wanda. "Partners need to develop these habits of socializing and coping with grief together. And yes, there is a test."

You sigh impatiently, tucking a loose string behind your ear. 

"That sounds fun." You mock lightly making them smile. 

"Anyway, good luck to you two." He says tenderly. "And Wanda, call me if you need help with Tommy. I know a good therapist."

You frown slightly, not understanding what he is referring to, but you prefer to stay out of matters that are none of your business. And then Bucky kisses Wanda on the cheek in farewell and waves to you smiling before leaving. You switch foot weights when you are alone with Wanda. Talking to other people is not exactly your strong suit these past few months.

"So..." You start clumsily when she turns to you. 

"So." She repeats equally embarrassed. You then clear your throat and rush to pull your cell phone out of your pocket and hand it to her.

"Give me your number." You say. "That way we can arrange...whatever this is." 

Wanda smiles weakly as she accepts the device, and you ignore the curious look when she notices the cracks in the screen. A moment later she hands the cell phone back to you.

"I gotta go." She says. "I need to pick up my kids from school."

You nod slightly and force a smile to say goodbye, and Wanda copies your movement before leaving.

You stare at your cell phone next, noticing the slight anxiety in your stomach as you read the contact "Wanda Maximoff" on the screen.

//-//

By the weekend, you are miserable. Just like the first few months.

You spilled some tea under your bed, and when you went to clean it up, you ended up taking the objects that were lying there. And then you found a crumpled piece of paper.

It was your farewell speech. The words you wrote down to speak on the day of the funeral. The paper you pulled out of your pocket when you got home from the ceremony and probably fell under the bed when you collapsed on the floor from crying so hard.

Suddenly your chest tightened and you couldn't breathe. But you didn't want your mother to worry, so you concentrated on remembering the exercises your therapist had taught you.

And when the room started to get too small, you left.

But because it was cold and rainy, you had just taken a hot shower and had decided to brew tea before you finished putting on a sweater, you had bent down to pick up your socks, and the liquid fell on the floor. 

You went outside without your shoes, and your mother let out a worried exclamation when she saw you standing outside, staring at nothing.

"Honey?" She asked walking out the door after seeing you through the kitchen window. "Honey, what is it?"

You didn't answer. Your face was wet. Your mother's hands wrapped around your shoulders, and she gently pushed you inside, worried that you would end up getting hypothermia.

"I'm fine." You gasped as she led you inside, but she just shook her head. "I'm fine."

"No, honey." She retorted making you frown. "You're not."

"Mom."

"Sit down." 

And then there were blankets around you, and socks on your feet. And your mother was in the kitchen, on the phone, but everything seemed stuffy. You began to be absent again. Thousands of memories flashing through your eyes.

An image of yourself on that living room floor, laughing while your girlfriend had her arms wrapped around you. Your mother was pouring a glass of wine for each of you, and you were happy to tell her about your engagement.

Then an image of you running across the room, trying to dodge the tickles your father tickled you while you laughed.

Then a puppy in your hands on the floor. You looked at it fondly, laughing at how cute it looked. 

Looking down, you saw a hand on your thigh. It was your wife's, the ring on her finger. She smiled at you. You were happy because that was the day you told your mother about the house purchase.

You gasped slightly when you felt someone's hand on your shoulder suddenly.

"I need you to tell me three things you can see." It was Agatha. God, you should have been out of reaction long enough for her to get here. Wiping away your tears, you took a deep breath, trying to reason straight.

"I... I..." You started, but your brain didn't seem to obey you. You took another deep breath. You could see the carpet, so you told her so.

"Two more." Agatha asked tenderly, her hand caressing your back from top to bottom. 

"The... table." You replied crying. "I can see the table."

"That's right, honey." She said. "Just one more now. Tell me what else?"

"My feet." You add breathlessly. "I can see my feet."

"Now breathe with me, okay?" She asks. "Like I taught you."

The exercises help you to calm down again. You apologize for scaring your mother, and for making Agatha drive to your house, but neither of them is upset with you. You feel exhausted, but the doctor wants to talk to you after she accepts the cup of coffee your mother offers her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asks as you sit on the covered porch, fluffy pillows around you.

You lower your gaze to the floor, sniffling lightly.

"I found my grief speech." You count. "Under my bed. The next minute I was outside."

Agatha sighs.

"You ready to talk about the accident."

You raise your eyes quickly, frowning, because it wasn't a question.

"W-what?"

She takes a deep breath, crossing her legs.

"It's suffocating you." She clarifies. "You need to talk or these attacks will happen again."

"I-I don't..."

"It won't be today." She interrupts with a tender smile. "Tonight you need to sleep. But we won't prolong this any longer. You need to talk about it, even if it’s only to scream."

Clenching your jaw, you hold back your tears as Agatha takes one last look at you before getting up. She murmurs that she will see you on Monday, but you don't look at her.

//-//

You don't sleep well on Sunday. And it's definitely because you can't stop thinking about your appointment.

And it goes well for the first twenty minutes. Agatha doesn't pressure you, and agrees to hear about your week, without mentioning the incident on Thursday.

There is a pause after you have told her about the dog barking noise in the early morning and then you know it is time to speak up.

"I was driving." You say softly suddenly, ignoring the feeling that your throat wants to close up. Agatha has her hands folded in her lap as she listens to you. "She...she was sleeping in the passenger seat." You swallow dryly, trying to count and not get caught up in the memory again, your heart racing. Talking is almost like going back there. "I looked at her for a moment and I got distracted... and then... we just..."

You only realize that you are crying because tears fall on your hand. You blink, sniffling. Taking a deep breath, you continue.

"We fell into the water, and Nat...she just...I couldn't get her belt off." You gasp breathlessly. "The water just...kept coming up around us. And she looked at me, and... she just shook her head like she knew what was going to happen." You tell between sobs. Agatha's eyes water, but she doesn't interrupt. "I just...she pushed me. She pushed my hands away and she told me she would follow me. And god... my dumb brain believed her!" You confess angrily. "She told me she was right behind me! And I swam out and when I came up she wasn't with me."

You shut up, not being able to tell anymore through the sobs. You can't even see the office clearly because of the tears.

It takes a moment for you to speak again, your head down.

"When I swam back, the car was completely covered with water everywhere" You recount. "I...I was going to dive again.... I wanted to get her out of there. But the people who saw the accident jumped in after us. And they pulled me out of the water. And I kept thinking that if I hadn't been distracted, she...she would be...."

"No." Agatha interrupts by offering you a tissue. "Natasha had a stomach injury, don't you remember?" She counters and you gasp, the words echoing in your brain. "That's why you couldn't remove the belt."

And then you were remembering clearly now.

Soft music echoed in the car as you hummed the tune and drove to your friends' house. Your wife mumbled softly beside you, making you smile as you watched the sleeping figure. The red hair in front of her face.

"Hey sleepyhead." You called softly, looking away from the track for a moment. "We're almost there."

Nat muttered in agreement. You bit your lip, thinking she looked beautiful. And then you heard a noise, and a white light in the window. You barely had time to frown when the impact threw your car off the road.

Your body tensed immediately as you sat up, looking around with desperation. The car was sinking fast and you turned to Nat.

A wound on her forehead was bleeding, and she was clearly disoriented as you touched her hands. You hurried to unbuckle her belt, but it was jammed tightly in her waist, and you gasped in shock at the wound.

"N-no." You grumbled, trying to move the metal, but Nat gasped in pain, pushing your hands away. You could barely breathe in desperation. Your feet were freezing, because the water was already at your ankles. "Babe, move please. We have to get out."

Nat advanced toward you, taking off your belt. You tried to touch her, but she pushed your hands away again, intending to guide you out.

" Sweetheart, go! Open the door! " she commanded and you shook your head, the water on your knees. Nat forced a smile, the tears in her eyes made your stomach turn. "Don't worry love. I'm right behind you."

As you opened the door, the water moved all the way into the car, and you held your breath Nat repeated the words "I'm right behind you" one more time. And then you swam out.

When you reached the surface, you were alone.

Sobbing, you couldn't say anything else to Agatha, and she proceeded to stroke your back, trying to soothe you with words of affirmation.

"I need you to remember some things honey." She says tenderly. "You couldn't have helped Natasha. She got stuck. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened." Agatha whispers to you, and you sob. "Remember the investigation, okay? The police said that the driver of the truck was drunk and hit your car after he fell asleep. It wasn't your fault." Agatha says trying to remind you. You gasp, countless memories flooding your head at once. "Say that for me, will you?" She asks and you gasp. "Tell me it wasn't your fault."

You sob, burying your face in your hands. It takes a moment, but you repeat the words.

"It wasn't my fault." You whisper breathlessly. "It...it wasn't my fault."

When you leave therapy that day, you feel different.

You think that it is the healing process that is beginning to work. You still have a long way to go, but you have the feeling that a weight has been lifted off your back, because you have started to believe your own words. You could not have saved Natasha.

There is still a deep sadness in you, but you still buy your favorite drink on the way home, and try to stay in the living room for a few hours before going to your room when you are inside.

[night-unfurls-its-splendour]

After fifteen years, One Night With the King is a Dumpster fire of a movie that I was OBSESSED WITH when I was like 11 or 12 (I was obsessed with all things Queen Esther as a kid, because it was my sister's name--I took out my church library's copy of the Hannah☆Barbara cartoon so frequently I practically had partial fucking ownership of it and when my church cleaned out all of the VHS tapes I took it home to keep even though I didn't have a VHS player anymore).

It's a bad movie. It's not good. The dialogue is tragic, the costumes are bonkers, and Tiffany Dupont is... wow she's bad.

But

BUT

BUT

I watched it again for one reason

And it's only a so-so excuse because Hellboy: The Golden Army exists and if I want a fix why wouldn't I just watch that?

It was all for Luke Goss, okay?

So I re-watched it, beer in hand, and bring to you a live blog of a terrible movie that's still the only "Faith-based" LIVE-ACTION film that remotely comes close to being what one might consider "well-produced". (I had originally not stipulated live-action, such would have lumped Prince of Egypt in with the rest and that... that's almost Sacrilege.)

Buckle-in.

****

This took 3 reblogs to finish so for my full 3 part liveblog, click here

- This is produced by FoxFaith, which I'm guessing is why it has, like, production values.

- We start with narration by Gimli (John Rhys Davies plays Mordecai and it's pretty great).

- I'll give it this the music is pretty stirring.

- Tiffany Dupont, aside from being a pretty bad actress, is not pretty enough in my estimation to be Esther, because, like, Esther was chosen for her beauty (and I know they try to make it more romantic here by having him fall in lurv with her, but even so) she should be much prettier than that, call me shallow.

- Flashback 500 years to Saul's disobedient ass not going full genocide on the Amalakites like he was supposed to.

- Enter a very angry Peter "The Prohpet Samuel" O'Toole. I feel SO BAD for all the secular audiences who rented this from Blockbuster because they saw Peter O'Toole was in it, because he's only here for like one scene in this pro-logue flashback to give you background on why Haman is such a bitch; and they had the nerve to put him in the top billed cast to lure people in. His shoulder pads just kill me. WTF.

Did I mention this script is tragic? It can't decide whether it's Shakespeare or the Bible and it's clearly trying SO HARD to be both.

- Fleshing out the characters part one: Make Hadassah wanna get out of dodge! She wants to go to Jerusalem babayyy!

- Add one sassy housekeeper, for comic relief.

- Add cute boy-next-door/childhood best friend (the housekeeper's son) who likes Hadassah and wants to run away with her to Jerusalem babayyy!. He's called Jesse. It doesn't go so good for him.

- Tiffany dupont's got a very cozy mid-atlantic accent. I didn't think that was possible.

- Love how Hadassah's like "ooh look fancy rich person!" and her friends are all like "oh hadassah, always dreaming", implying that she's got these Anne Shirley style fantasies of being a princess, but then she's terrified of being rounded up with the opportunity of being queen. inconsistent.

- Ominous riders in black. Very unsubtle and swastika imagery associated with Haman. Not gonna say anything. I look askance at the implications there, though, given that this movie was shot entirely in India.

- So Hadassah sees the evil Agagite swastika. She clearly recognizes it. make note of this for later.

- Ominous night meeting between Haman and. . . Okay, Denethor is also here. He plays a bad guy. Of Course.

- I am so done with Haman's fucking "I'm so evil" bat-man voice.

- Haman just dumps out the money that Denethor just gave him for being evil-schemey behind the king's back. I guess because they make Haman's hatred of the Jews for revenge reasons his primary motivating characteristic, while greed is totally secondary. They really try to make him a ScaryEvilVillain (TM) instead of the snivelling asswipe he is in the Bible. More on that later.

- Okay, so flashback to Hadassah's dead parents giving her her VerySpecialNecklace that's apparently from the Promise Land. This is clearly very important. It's very unimpressive, and it's supposed to do this this where if the light catches it right, it refracts stars of David all over the place, which rotate aaround the room, even though the necklace isn't movie. I take major points away for this. it's so fucking cheesy.

- Mordecai talking with a priest pal who just came into town from Jerusalem "Ah, what ecstacy to stand in the presence of the Almighty, like the intimate embrace of a husband and wife. Foreshadowing the importance of Romance! *jazz hands* in this story. This one's for you, ladies!

- Dumb moth flutters past Hadassah, sitting on the roof, because we needed another cheesy motif here.

- Moth flies to the Palace, of course. Gimli's voice over continues to flesh out the characters. There's a subplot/motivation device here that includes references to going to war with Greece and the season of feasting here is a cause for debate on whether King Luke Goss is going to avenge his father's death and keep fighting Greece.

- Speaking of King Luke Goss. If there was any doubt to the idea that this movie was made for us thirsty Christian gals, this is how they introduce him:

- Very disappointed that they didn't deck the feasting hall with "White and blue linen hangings fastened with white linen cords". And all the cups are supposed to be gold and each one different from the other. #bookaccuracy fail here.

- So because we're fleshing out the characters, Vashti refuses to show up to the feast when summoned, not because she doesn't want to be shown off like a horse, but because she's in protest of the king going to war with Greece. I guess because she doesn't want him to die? Anyway, understandable change, since he's a RomanticHero (TM).

- Hadassah sneaks out to check out the feast with Jesse.

- Ahhh JOKES! WE GOT 'EM!

*pretty sure he said "I would drink also to my guard" the joke makes more sense in that context*

- So then Denethor suggests they drink to Vashti's beauty, knowing the crowd will urge the king to bring her out and show her off. I guess Xerxes kind of has an arc here where he has to decide "are you gonna do what your father would have expected of you or being a peace-time culture king like you want to" and has to decide to face up to his advisers and make is own choices, y'know. He's only been king for three years, so this is a pretty decent character building device.

- The crowd is chanting for Vashti. And because Xerxes has drank at least half a glass of Respect Women juice, so he's like "What are they serious? They expect me to just trot her out?" then his sneaky advisors who want to stir shit up are like "Vashti's protesting the war, this would put her in her place." but Hegai, the cool eunuch (played by the late Tommy "Tiny" Lister, God rest his soul) is like "Sir, don't do it. You know the queen's position on the war." But Xerxes does it anyway. Ya'll know the story from there. Feminist Icon (TM) Vashti is like "Bitch, no".

- Jesse and Hadassah, are watching the feast from the rafters and flirt badly. Hadassah just wants to see the queen too. Jesse tries to kiss her and she's like, nah bro.

- You guys want a laugh?

- King Luke Goss, having opened himself up to having is pride wounded by his women, does indeed have his pride wounded. Denethor and the guys tell him that he's gotta put his woman in her place, lest all the women in the kingdom defy their hubbands. This is from the Book. King Luke Goss's right hand man is like "Well, protocol says you gotta throw her out on her ass so *shrug*".

- Take a drink every time they say the word "Protocol"

- Cue Mordecai's "Oh shit" face.

- Hadassah is like "hey jesse this just escalated. If there's no Queen with pretty dresses to admire, then let's run away to Jerusalem babayyy!

- Gimli explains in voice-over that the king sent out a decree that every eligible young woman be sought out and brought to the palace. Like Cinderalla, but with more police brutality.

- unfortunately for our pal Jesse, they round up young men too. You know, cuz if there's gonna be this huge influx of women in the palace, you need eunuchs to attend to them.

- hadassah is bummed that Jesse didn't show to run away with her. Then we cut to Mordecai explaining that women are being rounded up. "But no worries, I'm sure they won't get you. i mean how many women could they possibly need? I bet the nobles have already gotten their daughters an in through bribes. but uh, just in case, we'll give you a Babylonian name. How about Esther?"

- So Hadassah, having just been told that girls are being rounded up on the streets, decides she's gonna go for a walk. guess what happens then?

- the soldiers who nab her steal her VerySpecialNecklace.

- Hadassah and the gals are brought into a dank looking vestibule. In a neat editing thing she Prays that for God to "turn these dungeons into someplace wonderful". cut to a torch-lit room with marble-tiled floors. I see what you did there.

- Hadassah tries to cheer up the gals by showing them all the cool silks in this nearby chest that's just there, already open. Cuz, you know, she's brave. One girl is like "Am i ever gonna see my parents again?!" and Hadassah is like "No, Im sure we'll be home in no time!" but then this other girl, who is much prettier than Tiffany Dupont is like "OH SO YOU THINK WE'RE NOT PRETTY ENOUGH?" it's tough being the main character.

- ENTER HEGAI, THE COOL EUNUCH.

- That night Hadassah has a flashback to the night the scary riders in black with their swastika braclets killed her parents.

- Hadassah wakes up in the morning and Hegai the cool Eunuch finds her spinning around in the garden because she's such a free spirit. Hegai the cool Eunuch is like wtf is wrong with you?

- War council shit. they're telling King Luke Goss the budget for the big war. and he's like "You know we could spend that on infrastructure." Denethor is like, nah let's do war things instead because the greeks are all democracy. gag. King Luke Goss's right hand man points out that war costs a bunch, and it's prbably a good idea not to spend so much when you're not militarily gifted.

- Hegai the Cool Eunuch gives the gals a pep talk. "Okay, so you've been kidnapped and held here to be married off to a king who dismissed his last wife for disobedience. This sucks. But, not as much as having your balls cut off. You're in a much better situation, and you get to to keep the jewelry even if you get sent home. He also mentions being blinded in this scene, in relation to his own capture and castration, and I just want to say I think it's cool that they included Tommy Lister's blind eye as part of his character here.

- Cue spa montage.

- Haman puts the works in motion for his big play against the jews, and starts putting it out that the Jews are super into Greek democracy and thus pose a threat.

- Lunchtime for the candidates. Hadassah gets out of eating her ham by throwing it to the monkeys.

- Hadassah complains that the Queen training consists mostly of beauty treatments and not on things like finances and literature other queen shit. Hegai the cool Eunuch is impressed that she can read.

- Hadassah comes back to her room that night to find that Hegai has stocked it with scrolls. Cut to her reading the Epic of Gilgamesh to the gals. Hegai the cool Eunuch listens in, and is moved, lamenting that he can't read it in its original Akkadian, like Hadassah can, and says that reading is one of the few pleasures left to him. This is actually quite an affecting scene.

- Hegai the cool Eunuch lets the gals into the treasury to pick out their jewelry for their interviews. The gals go hog-wild, cuz they get to keep it. Hadassah hangs back and asks Hegai's opinion on what would most suit the king's tastes. Because maybe she is smart? Since King Luke Goss is a man of simple tastes under it all, Hegai gives her a simple necklace. And surprise! it's hadassah's VerySpecialNecklace that got snatched when she was taken!

- Because Hadassah can read and she and Hegai the cool Eunuch are pals, Hegai has her come read the chronicles to the king.

- I see they saved the blue and white linen hangings for King Luke Goss's bedroom. Okay.

- King Luke Goss is making some sculptures because he's arty that way. Hadassah comes in, sits on the bench and starts reading the chronicles (King Luke Goss is obscured by a gossamer curtain)

- "Admiral Xtes was honored for serving twenty years in the Royal Fleet. After a lengthy speech, he promptly keeled over and died. *Giggle*" Even though, reading the chronicles and giggling cutely at them would have been a fine way to endear herself to the king all on its own, she decides to deviate by reciting the story of Jacob and Rachel from memory.

(No Shit, though, Luke Goss's line delivery here sends me.)

- King Luke Goss is all "Pretty sure that's not in the chronicle. But you've got me interested tell me the ending." So then after he asks her name he's like

- And again, bitch is living my best life.

- My kingdom for some chemistry here, because Luke Goss is putting out and I'm just getting nothing from her.

- oh also, he explains the sculpture he's currently working on is gonna be Eros when it's finished. He never actually says Eros because that would be too bow-chika-wow for this ChristianMovie but we know who he means. And I'm here for it.

- Then Hegai comes and collects her and is like "OKay, i pulled some strings for you, this was not your formal interview, you get another one, and you CANNOT tell anyone else that you got an early sitting with him because it's not strictly fair.

- So she goes back to her room and has this fantasy of King Luke Goss coming into her room, and I mean which of us wouldn't?

- Cut to a dusty military camp. King Luke Goss is sparring. The choreography is Season 5 of GoT Levels of bad

Because King Luke Goss is shirtless! As he is for at least a third of this movie. Because they KNEW their target audience.

- Hegai the Cool Eunuch shows up and tells King Luke Goss that the advisors have ordered candidates to be brought for their interviews at the camp, and king luke goss is like "You have got to be kidding me." Hegai is not kidding him.

- Jesse, it is now revealed, has become Hatach (Who we shall call "the Sad Eunuch"). Hatach is an actual figure from the Bible, who became Esther's personal chamberlain. He finds a moment alone with Hadassah, commenting on her change of name. This is the first time she's seen him since he didn't show to run away with her. She comforts him about their having to use Babylonian names by reminding him that Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego were pagan names too. Jesse, because he's a know-it-all, rattles off their Jewish Names (Hananiah, Mishael and Azariah, for those of you who didn't ace your Bible trivia in Sunday school, like i did).

- Jesse/Hatach the Sad Eunuch tells Hadassah that he's found a way for them to escape. Unfortunately for him, Hadassah's pretty stoked on captivity since she's all goo-goo eyes for King Luke Goss now. Jesse the Sad Eunuch feels betrayed, of course, and wonders to her what good could come from their situation. (BECAUSE OLD TESTAMENT PEOPLE DIDN'T KNOW STUFF).

- Hadassah says that rather than lamenting their situations, they should make the best of them. Which is easy for her to say, because her situation means that she might get to marry King Luke Goss, while Jesse's situation just means that he no longer has his family jewels. He's resigned to never being able to be involved with Hadassah, but still wants her to run away with him. This poor fuckin' guy.

- It's time for the individual interviews to begin! First up is Misgath of Persepolis, a daughter of a rug merchant, and dumb bimbo. For her interview, she's supposed to go riding with the king. Which does not work out for her because she cant ride a horse, and also put on ten pounds with all the gold jewelry she snagged from the treasury. Hijinks ensue.

- Hadassah is bummed because King Luke Goss hasn't asked her back to read for him again, which he suggested he would. Hegai is like "damn girl it's only been like four days" but because Hadassah is a teenager "a few days is a thousand years". Hegai sympathizes with her and tells her about the girl he intended to marry before he was captured and cut.

- Back with King Luke Goss, he's waiting in his tent for the next candidate, who, he's informed, is having some stage fright. She winds up throwing up. King Luke Goss is done with this shit.

- MONKEYS!

- And now it's time for Esther's official interview (I'll be calling her Esther from here on out). Fortunately for her, her interview is taking place on familiar territory, the king's bedroom.

- Esther is super nervous, even though she has a significant head-start over all the other candidates.

- He has her read to him again, same pattern as before, except this time he seems really impatient. He complains about the endless procession of women he's being subjected to. But then he notices that it's her, and not the other dumb bimbos he's come to expect. She's SUPER nervous now.

- He questions the fact that she's only wearing the one piece of jewelry (her VerySpecialNecklace). She stands by it. He asks if she's simply adorned because she has a low estimation of her self-worth. She responds that the necklace is her only valued possession and she brings it as a gift for him, not as a trinket she expects to keep for herself. Good move. Wonder if Hegai the cool Eunuch taught her that line.

- I just noticed that you can hear the fans that are producing the wind to make the curtains flutter in the background of this scene. Good lort.

- Tiffany Dupont's makeup in this scene is almost as tragic as the script.

~~posting here because I've reached the image limit, so i'll reblog with the next part~~

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

you've enabled me and i simply must send in another request-

can i get some headcannons for quackity, foolish, eret, technoblade and slimecicle (it's obvious i have favorite characters-) with a Reader who likes to protect them in like a sort of technoblade to philza fashion? like they make sure they're as safe and as happy as they possibly can be and protect them from any danger no matter how small (or large). like character is in an argument/fight that doesn't involve Reader at all and isn't really their buisness. yeah, no Reader is about to make it their buisness-

alternatively, a small scenario:

enemy of quackity/foolish/eret/technoblade/philza: i have an army

quackity/foolish/eret/technoblade/philza: i have a hulk

reader, entering in a badass fashion: i'm about to end their entire career

yours truly,

gremlin anon

Oh god I love this idea so much!

Quackity

With how many enemies this man has, he needs you.

If he’s arguing with someone like Wilbur, your gonna have to step in. Wil and Alex will get into a fist fight over Las Nevadas, and your the only one who can stop them.

“The hells going on over here?” You ask as you see Wilbur and Alex starting to square up to fight. Alex immediately puts his fists down, and Will takes this as his chance to strike. You notice that Wilburs about to hit Alex, who you consider a little brother, and immediately put you hand out and catch Wilburs fist. “You know, maybe hitting him isn’t the best idea. Not with me right here anyways.” And then, with Wilbur caught off guard, you punch him straight in the nose. He stumbles backwards, curses you and Alex, and then walks off with his bloody nose and lost pride. “The hell was all that about anyways?” You ask as you turn to Quackity, rubbing your knuckles. “He wanted citizenship to Las Nevadas, I told him he had to gamble his last life for it. If he won, he get it. If he lost, I get his last canon life and Ghostbur comes back.” Quackity explained. “Let’s just get home, that dude has one sturdy ass nose so now my knuckles are bruised.”

Slimecicle

This man needs you. He’s so oblivious that he can’t tell when someone’s gonna try something on him.

You’ve saved him more times than you can count. And every time, you tell him to be a bit more careful. He asks why, he was just having a conversation with Tommy, not knowing Tommy was gonna scam the shit outa him and run him into the dirt after he was done.

“All I need from you is your diamonds and free range of Las Nevadas. Can you do that for me boss man?” You heard Tommy ask. “Yeah!” “No, no he can’t.” “Oh! Y/n from the sky! My friend! How are you?” You ignored Charlie. “Tommy, why are you trying to scam him again after last time? You know I don’t stay far away. Do you want me to knock you out again and send you back to Phil?” “….no” “Good! Now SCRAM” You said, and Tommy did just that. He started to run away, tripping over his own feet a couple times. “Charlie, what did I tell you about talking to Tommy?” “Uhhhh” “I said to be more careful.” “Yep! I knew that!” You sighed. You really have to find a way to get through to him that Tommy scams him more than he helps him. “What was that even about?” You asked, wanting a bit of backstory. “Tommy was gonna give me his slowest horse in exchange for all of my diamonds and free range of Las Nevadas!” Charlie said, clearly excited thinking about it.

Eret

After the incident with L’manberg and his betrayal, he’s needed you more than ever. Tommy, tubbo, and Wilbur have been trying to attack him when he leaves his castle.

Luckily for him, you always go with him, wether he knows it or not. Everytime someone tries to attack you, and sometimes dream and sapnap, fight back for eret.

It was a lovely day on the server. You and Eret decided to go on a walk, when Tommy and Tubbo came out with their swords out. Then, from behind them, Wilbur comes walking out with his hands in his pockets. “Oh eret, your going to regret the day you betrayed us. Your out numbered here! And your little protector doesn’t have their sword, fantastic! I’ll give you 5 seconds to surren-“ “Yea, that’s not gonna happen Wil.” You know that voice… is that? Your suspicions were confirmed when Dream and Sapnap jumped down from the trees about the 5 of you. “We told you not to try and hurt them, but you can’t ever seem to listen now can you? I told you time and time again, you can’t touch my S/O, wether their protecting Eret or not.” Sapnap says. He throws you your favorite sword, and you say “thanks babe. Now let’s kick some L’manberg ass!” Sapnap fights tubbo, Dream fights Tommy, and you take Wilbur. You yell for eret to step back, and try and get to the castle. He runs the way you guys came, and you turn your attention to Wilbur. He has his armor on and his sword is out. “I guess you wanna do this the hard way Y/n. I told you, you could have joined L’manberg. You would have been safe, but no. You chose sapnap. WE COULD HAVE BEEN RULERS! WE WOULD HAVE HAD OUR WHOLE COUNTRY TO RULE!” He screams at you. “Yea well, being a leader doesn’t suit me, thanks though.” You wink at him, and then lift your sword to his arm. He was so busy monologging that he didn’t see your sword coming towards his arm, and you cut him deep. The thick, red liquid that we know as blood spills out of his arm, and he stumbled back. Tommy and tubbo had already started to grab him to run as you put down your sword. “Buh bye Wilbur!” You yelled at his as he ran off with his two lackeys. You turn back to sapnap and Dream, but they’re both gone. “Huh. Guess they went back home.” Now, you had to get back to Eret.

Foolish

He doesn’t really need as much protection around the server, but when he does your there.

You’ve had to fight people, but most of the time you just have to intimidate people into leaving him alone

Technoblade

This man has so many enemies that you’re in fights constantly.

The incident in the pit didn’t happen because of you. You stopped it right before it happened.

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOUR DOING.” You screamed at Techno and Tommy, who were in a giant pit that Wilbur seemingly made. You jumped in and separated the two boys, all while wil was saying “oh come on Y/N! It was just getting to the good part! If only you were at the bathroom for 5 more minutes….” “Wilbur Soot! You should not be allowing this. Technoblade, I’ll telling Philza about this. Tommy, you should have know better than to accept this.” You said, going around to everyone and telling them off. “Sorry y/n” everyone said in unison. “Yea, you better be. For fucks sake I can’t go to the damn bathroom for 10 minutes without a fight breaking out. Let’s go techno, we have things to do.” “Heh? I wanna stay and talk to Wil-“ “Well, to bad. We’re going home.” You grab Techno and dragged him off to his house.

That was a fun one to write! I hope you enjoyed gremlin!! And I got no clue how to write for foolish, so sorry about that :(

[lightningblade1994-blog]

Sonic the Hedgehog/Mortal Kombat Mash-Up (Ft. TitraArts/MontyTH) (For KatarinaTheCat)

Hiretsuna: *Eating & Drinking* See, me, I believe in a fair fight. You know, one-on-one, man-to-man, hand-to-hand. Just like my old man taught me. But what I saw out there was not very fair.

Haily Ranna: *Whispering* That's HIM. That's the monster who assisted Lancelot.

Arny: Are you sure? Doesn't look like much.

Sonic: *Whispering* Hey, What's with the other guy?

Hiretsuna: ...So then he burns things to a crisp, right? and then everything blows up. I could see almost ash & everything. Almost lost my lunch at one time.

Arsenic: DISGUSTING.

Hiretsuna: *Still chewing* What I wanna know,

if this Lancelot guy is so great...how come he's got

such a crummy-looking castle, hm? Anyway, guy gives me the creeps. "Treasure these moments." *Spits*

Arsenic: *rises out of his chair; stretches out* That was his intention. Lord Lancelot is a great Spellblade. The strong cultivate his favor. Those who would dare challenge his power are doomed to become his slaves.

Hiretsuna: Oh yeah? Well, I haven't seen any of them around.

Arsenic: You fool, you know nothing. He enslaves souls. He learned the dark arts from the Origin himself.

Hiretsuna: You're some kind of royalty too, right?

Arsenic: I AM Arsenic. General of the armies of Saraxia and prince of the subterranean realm of Ebon.

Hiretsuna: Subterranean? What's that? Something like underneath?

Arsenic: Yes. Something like THAT.

Hiretsuna: *scoffs* Yeah? Well, I'm kind of an

underworld boss myself, you know. *starts shaking nervously* Well, I mean, back home.

Arsenic: *Spills cup on Hiretsuna's lap* How lucky for them back home.

{Lancelot Enters}

Lancelot: Tis' true.

Arsenic: Hm?

Lancelot: Prince Arsenic, Why else would I have chosen

such a disreputable looking cretin? *points at Hiretsuna* Look at him. No dignity, no manners. Yet in the realm of Earth, rodents like him can amass great wealth...and almost godlike power.

Hiretsuna: Yeah. Well, I'd like to get back to my amassing

as soon as possible, if you don't mind. Now, when do I get paid?

Lancelot: After you've retrieved the girl. But remember,

she's not to be harmed, only humiliated. I have other plans regarding Ebon.

Arsenic: To what do we owe the honor of your visit, Alimighty Lord Lancelot?

Lancelot: I've come to warn you that King Ranna's

heir is on to our plans. we must handle her carefully.

Arsenic: I forsaw this "Teensy Pink Poodle" before, she'll pose no problem.

Lancelot: This is no time for foolish pride. We've never been so close to absolute victory...which is why I've come to warn you of another danger. the "Blue Devil" himself.

Arsenic: And his freakish, two-tailed sidekick? Why should I worry about those two?

Lancelot: The Blue Devil originates from a realm beyond our own, we must not allow either of them to sabotage our plans that we've ourselves have put into full effect. However, we cannot allow either of them to leave Ebon either, especially the Blue Menace.

Arny: *whispering* Why did he said that like it was a bad thing?

Sonic: *shrugs*

Lancelot: The Origin will not tolerate failure...And neither shall I.

Arsenic: *Boasts out loud* I DO NOT FAIL.

Sonic: We should move.

Arny: *nervously* You've just read my mind.

Published: 06/06/22

Original Source:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjxYkWmJVew

(C) SEGA/Sonic Team

Arny belongs to (C) MontyTH

Arsenic belongs to (C) TitraArts

OC's belong to (C) KatarinaTheCat