#and while they havent had much officially business lately

[snow-system-wol]

Preparing for Ilsabard (reluctantly) -- Part II

As much as it was easier to let it go, Lyse felt S'ria deserved a courtesy warning about what'd she'd overheard between Fray and Zenos over a year ago before stepping foot in Garlemald.

Ao3

(tw for depiction of panic attack)

"S'ria, may we speak in private?"

Lyse had managed to sneak up on him and it was only the familiarity of her voice that kept him from jumping out of his skin. He didn't like her tone, far too serious for her earlier excitement at seeing him again, but there was no reason to refuse. He nodded and allowed her to lead him through the maze of Ala Mhigo, eventually stopping in a small storeroom.

She looked around cautiously and bolted the door on the way in – S'ria found himself increasingly concerned about how important or confidential this matter may be. In different circumstances, maybe he'd be nervous about this behavior – but this was Lyse, and he was quite confident that he could spot an impersonator.

They both perched on some boxes and S'ria waited for her to start explaining. With pleasantries and catching up long since out of the way in the last several hours, the only thing that remained was whatever important matter she called him out here for.

"Okay, please be patient with me – I do not want to cause you undue distress in my choice of words."

S'ria raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'putting this off is a great way to cause me more distress'.

"Sorry, sorry – here we go. During your last fight with Zenos, here in Ala Mhigo, I arrived at the end of it. I overheard some of a conversation between you – well, not you exactly – and Zenos. Do you… remember anything like that?"

S'ria's grip on the sides of the crate tightened. "No. I do not."

"Oh. I'm not really sure how to have this conversation, but I wanted you to be prepared going into Garlemald. How much do you know about… your life?" Lyse winced.

S'ria was beginning to look as though he'd rather be anywhere than this conversation. "I am now, unfortunately, somewhat aware of my childhood circumstances." There was enough venom in the word that it was quite clear that they were on the same page. "I also know He's dead. I left the country after, somehow, got to Eorzea."

"Did you know that you killed him?"

S'ria choked out something that was half of a laugh. "Not for certain. But I suspected as much …Do you know how?"

Lyse cringed. "Not exactly, but it sounded like it was… um. Violent."

"Mm." S'ria was quiet for a moment, unsure if he wanted to try and remember that moment for catharsis, or if it'd be worse to know. Maybe asking had been a mistake. "Lyse, I don't think learning extra details before I go back there is a good idea, unless there was something else to this conversation."

Lyse was quiet for a long moment, staring at her hands, before she finally blurted something out.

"Zenos knows."

After a moment to process the words, all of the blood drained from S'ria's face and he immediately felt dizzy. "What? How?"

"He said he looked into you, came across the records for your accusation of murder. I'm sorry." And truly, she did sound very sorry, the sympathy soothing – even if it was lost against the intensity of everything else.

The warm air in the storeroom was increasingly stagnant in S'ria's lungs. "How… how much does he know? Just that?"

"I – he said –" Lyse looked away from him. "I think he was able to see the situation for what it was. I'm so sorry, just breathe, please?" She reached for his arm and then immediately pulled her hand back when he flinched.

"Wh-why, why did I need to know this?"

Lyse looked stricken. "I wouldn't have said unless it seemed necessary. If he tries to use that information to hurt you –"

" – then I'd have been taken completely off guard." S'ria made a wheezing noise that was impossible to tell if it was originally a laugh or a sob. "That's fair." There was something else he thought he wanted to add, but he was feeling too lightheaded to focus on that.

"Look at me, S'ria – I'm going to breathe slowly, and I want you to try to match me. Can you do that?"

S'ria nodded jerkily. It was reminiscent of training somehow, this breathing exercise. When he'd first learned stealth, they'd taught him how to breathe smoothly and quietly, such that your lungs remained well supplied but you made no unnecessary noise. He wondered if Lyse had learned to slow her heart and breathing while training too, or if this was something she'd picked up elsewhere.

Over the course of several long minutes, his heart and breathing returned to something far more normal, leaving him merely tired and clammy. He felt like he'd been sprinting around outside in the heat instead of sitting in one place.

"Thank you. For the help and for…warning me. I'll be glad to have you at my side for this mission." He smiled weakly. "I'll do my best to not be a…liability, in Garlemald."

"Any time. And please, that's not what I want you to take from this conversation. I just don't want you hurt by something we might avoid." She paused a moment. "May I hug you? You can say no, always."

S'ria considered. Lyse was familiar, she was warm, her fabrics soft, her scent pleasant. "...Yeah. Go ahead."

It was just as nice as he remembered it being.

[wabblebees]

.

[ipegchangbin]

— smudgeproof

sub!model!felix x dom!makeup artist!reader

There’s a new lipstick that claims to be make-out-proof. You, with your makeup expertise, naturally decide to test it on your model boyfriend, Felix: except he’s the one that gets to wear it. 

🏷 gender neutral afab reader (they/them pronouns, no specifics), smut, fluff, some humor, established relationship, porn with barely any plot. 

🏷 petnames “mommy” and “baby girl,” unprotected sex, feminization kink, slight oral and hand fixation, marking, butt plug (felix using), thigh riding, fingering (felix receiving), overstimulation, male squirting, lots of teasing, voyeurism mention, no specifics about y/n’s physique. 

w/c: 8.8k

a/n: happy (hopefully not late) valentine’s day! to celebrate, i finally present to you the long overdue felix-gets-fucked fic! based on my thought piece, this concept has been on my mind ever since. i kept rewriting this fic but i drew the header art so fast LMAO icb i finished it!! otherwise, enjoy!

18+ only. minors do not interact.

On slow days, you would often find yourself bored in the makeup store. Your boyfriend, Lee Felix, would probably be just as bored, sitting in the chair of his set. Your notifications were as empty as the barren shop.

After two aimless scrolls down your Instagram feed, you realized that you hadn’t posted anything recently and hadn’t texted Felix that day.

The afternoon sun brought in waves of humid air throughout the city, setting everyone back from a trip around the shops. You peered over at the conversation with your boyfriend as you thought about ways to kill time.

It wasn’t uncommon to go for a while without contacting each other. It had been years since you two became official, after all, and comfortable silence had become a given that you both simply indulged in. That didn’t take your mind off of the boredom, though, and your fingers itched to do something. They found Felix’s contact on your phone, bedazzled with an embarrassing nickname and profile picture. 

It stung to think that if you weren’t looking at his endearing profile, you would instead settle for some sort of creeping guilt of not posting anything on your social media page after a while. Either way, you shot him a message.

you: lix, wya? you: im bored as hell

Considering Felix’s work as a professional model, he would probably reply in less than ten minutes. You thought to turn your phone off and play with the freshly-cleaned makeup brushes on the makeup store’s vanity counter while waiting.

But this is Lee Felix, the sunshine of your days, and you didn’t have to wait any longer than two seconds.

lixie: Am at the shoot I told u about lixie: Bored too tbh LOL

Even if he typed in a silly way, you couldn’t help but love him.

He’d always been your go-to person to unwind and be yourself around. Starting as best friends gave you both a jumpstart to be comfortable around the other. People would say it worked a little too well especially since you two had become the most seriously unserious couple in the creative industry.

That fact made him understand you more than anyone else: you were both creatives. Your heart belonged to the artistic liberties of makeup and beauty, while his heart belonged to the ethereal realm of modeling and fashion. Your two hearts found each other, which was almost perfect for the adjacent businesses. He collaborated with you on makeup challenges. You came to his sets as his “preferred makeup artist.” He understood you whenever you ranted about stupid trends and declining engagement in your channels.

With that, could tell him about your uneventful day and equally uneventful social media pages, but you refrained from complaining more than dropping a passing mention.

you: idrk what to do there are no customers you: and i havent posted anything new you: but its not like theres much to do lixie: Well you’re the genius one here! lixie: Got art block or something?

The prompt response caught you off guard. Almost as if you have forgotten, this was Felix, and he always sensed whenever something was wrong.

As if he had some sort of radar or emotion detector, he always just knew how you were. Maybe it had to do with the fact that he had always been in the proximity of your face, observing your concentration as you put eyeliner on him before shooting. Maybe that connection stuck with him after years of being together, and it had remained strong to the point that he could feel it from miles away, staring emptily into the face of some other random MUA. 

Alas, you found yourself overthinking again. You would rather overthink about your relationship than your semi-abandoned creative efforts, though.

you: well i guess you can call it that. im just conscious since i havent really posted you: idk what to do next. ive done everything lixie: How about, “Boyfriend does my makeup drunk edition”? :D you: boring ! lixie: “Makeup tut but bf does my voiceover”? :D you: just because it got views doesnt mean its worth doing a fifth time >:(( lixie: I’m kidding LOL 

The scowl on your face reflected on the mirror sitting in front of you. You knew that if only Felix saw it right now, he would have lost his mind trying to turn it upside down.

You were right though. You two did everything.

My boyfriend does my makeup? Done, and he did an okay job at it. “The boy beat” makeup tutorial featuring Felix? Damn right he did. Boyfriend does my voiceover? It was so good that you guys did it four times and everyone fell in love with the deep timbre of his voice contrasted with his surprising amount of knowledge. Even if it was easy to collaborate with him, it was hard to create something new and unique. On the contrary, your audience fell in love with you two. It’s nice to watch a model and a stylist practice their art together.

Lost for ideas, you decided just to tease him instead.

lixie: So? No ideas in that pretty head? you: i got one thing in mind lixie: And what might that be? you: having you here you: in my arms you: to kiss up and call pretty :>

It was a thing that you usually did since you loved how he always reacted so pricelessly. He didn’t disappoint with his response, the notifications popping up not even half a minute after your last message.

lixie: HNDNSABNNDJS lixie: Don’t tease me unprompted!! lixie: ;__;

You’re so grateful that he’s always up to play with you.

You thought deeply — too deeply for a situation like this — and scanned the store shelves and storage room for ideas.

You wondered what he would be up to right now.

Felix was stunned.

Done-up in the most expensive face and hairstyle he’s rocked to date, adorned with an unbuttoned suit jacket that one could only dream to wear, he was supposed to look like the stunner. His pecs were only barely hidden and the midsection of his upper body was almost entirely exposed.

Instead, he was the speechless one. He wasn’t shocked by the cold air seeping through his revealing outfit, but his hair raised at your messages.

Your teasing usually should not affect him this much, but today, it was something different. The whole day, all he could think about was you. His mind went to your first meeting. Earlier, he got deja vu as one of the stylists applied lipstick on him. It felt familiar, the feeling of a senior stylist’s hand resting on his face as a brush glided along the perimeter of his mouth. All it lacked was the stunning view of your face in particular. It reminded him of the first time you ever laid eyes on him, and it was to check on his eyeshadow. You stared at each other for too long, exchanged numbers after the shoot, and the rest was history.

He was pissed, to say the least, that you weren’t the assigned stylist for the shoot this time. Nothing could ever compare to the focused look you gave him as you fixed the corners of his mouth with the smooth swipe of your pinky finger.

He craved that touch again.

“Yo,” a dragged-out sigh whisked through the air. “You’ll catch a fly in your mouth if you keep that jaw open.”

Felix looked up from his phone to find Hyunjin, his best friend and one of the junior photographers on set, eyeing his reflection in the mirror. He had his bleached blond hair half-up, tied messily to complete his so-called “intern look.” Most of the senior directors and photographers on set confused him for a model.

“Am I interrupting some kinda internal monologue sesh?” Hyunjin smiled, leaning behind Felix’s chair, raising a brow at him through the reflection. 

“No, I just—”

“He’s thinking about Y/N again.” Jeongin, their other best friend, popped from behind the vanity, carrying Hyunjin’s abandoned camera. 

The two were interns at the studio. Both were very bored art students looking for a job to pass the time by. Jeongin was there to work as a personal assistant and was mistaken for a stylist considering his fashion sense. His behavior around set proved otherwise, though, since he spent the entire day prodding at everyone’s business.

Felix was no exception as a victim.

“Imagine flirting online,” Hyunjin chuckled while reaching for the camera. Jeongin handed it out to him, only to swing his arm back, teasing the older.

Jeongin dismissed the frown on Hyunjin’s face and fiddled with the camera. “Yeah, cut your significant other some slack, they must be busy at the store or something,” he added.

“Nah, they aren’t.”

Hyunjin snagged the camera back. “Editing a Youtube video?”

“That’s exactly why they messaged me. They asked for ideas for a new video.” Felix sat back and redirected his eyes back to the conversation on his phone. The other two slowly turned their heads to each other.

“Wow! Did you hear that, Innie? They messaged him!” Hyunjin yelped.

“Lix didn’t message first? Unheard of!” Jeongin gasped.

“Cut it out, overdramatic cunts.” The accent made the last word roll off Felix’s tongue in a heavy and aggressive accent. “I want to help them this once. Shoo. Leave me be.”

“Oh, why are you getting all worked up, man?” The younger placed his hands on Felix’s shoulders and wiggled them.

Actually — why was he getting all worked up? Everything seemed off: he wasn’t the type to get annoyed easily like that.

He would have defended himself, but he thought it over. Not only had he been unusually sentimental while getting ready, but even as the day started, he was already rolling off to a rough start. He barely got out of bed, reaching out to you from the side and asking for longer morning cuddles specifically from you. He had been so clingy all day that the silence and afternoon heat killed him from looking forward to anything else but you.

A discussion brewed between the menaces as Felix thought about it. “Innie, you know, he couldn’t even hit the poses right. The director felt bad because our bro didn’t seem into it.”

Felix’s cheeks flushed upon hearing that. “No way, Hyune,” the other replied.

Oh god, Felix thought.

He swatted embarrassing thoughts away from his head to not get teased any further by his own friends. His thoughts — and something else — were hindering him from doing anything physically. The poor boy couldn’t even shift in his seat from embarrassment. It’s not that he didn’t want to physically fidget, he just couldn’t. His entire body froze, but he also just could not move by any means. It would be uncomfortable for him, and it wasn’t just because the clothes restricted him.

Something underneath his clothes would shift too and pierce his body with shockwaves. Before that could, though, his phone vibrated before he did.

you: babe! you: had a breakthrough so big i said eureka out loud in the store [you sent a photo]

Felix immediately opened the notifications and observed the sent messages. He opened the photo even before it loaded. When it did, he nearly melted in his seat.

You supposedly sent him a picture of a product that you found. By the looks of it, you probably thought of doing a product review of it, but that wasn’t the first impression he got from the picture. The first thing he saw was your face, winking with a toothy grin, your beautiful hand holding the product up next to your cheek.

God, you were all sorts of stunning to him.

lixie: OMHJYGOD YOUre so pretty you: dont look at me, silly! you: look at this lipstick. its so funny

For a moment, he didn’t listen. His eyes were still fixated on everything from your expression, to your features, to the nails that you just got done holding up the product. As if he had gone stupid, he had to blink and shake his head before formulating a reply that made sense.

lixie: LMFAOOOO THE NAME you: its not the name baby lixie: WHAT SHADE COLOR IS THAT LMAOOO  you: the shade looks fine, look at the label! lixie: What’s it say you: the label claims its make-out proof lixie: ??!!! LOL

Of course, he didn’t make any sort of sense whatsoever. His two friends watched him frantically type away, barely being able to process anything from the mere sight of you.

“Bro’s deluded,” Jeongin whispered.

“Bro’s fucking horny,” Hyunjin commented, squinting at his friend.

you: you sound so funny baby you: anyway i was thinking i should review it you: but can you join me? i wanna try something

It felt like something broke inside of him. A shot of excitement ran through his system, hitting down until his core — oh shit that hurt.

He tried to twist his lower half again, fidgeting in his seat, but it grew harder for him to do so. With tears in his eyes, he jolted up, attempting to focus on the conversation.

lixie: Sure, what do you want me to do? lixie: Won’t you just do an application and wear test thing? you: mmm i guess u can say that you: but im making it a lil different lixie: How so?

The intrigue bit his tongue and Felix attempted to swallow it. The staff around him were wrapping up the shoot, pushing equipment back in their places, and some started to leave as soon as the director announced the last “cut.” He, however, was glued to the vanity chair, shaking in anticipation.

you: im gonna put it on you baby <3

Felix’s eyes widened.

It didn’t matter how many times you placed makeup on him, nor did it matter how many times he joined you in your antics. There were too many things going on in his head that toyed with his thought process and everything that came with it. He didn’t exactly know why, but a knot formed in his stomach. He grew nervous and just knew that you were up to something sinister.

lixie: But how are we gonna do the wear test? I already got my face done and half the day has passed, I’m even done w my part of the shoot you: you dont get it ??? lixie: I don’t get it!! you: ill put it on you when you get here. and were not just testing how long it wears regularly, were testing what the label says you: ill be there in 10mins love you baby

He sat back, looked up from his phone, and his gaze zeroed in on his reflection, attempting to focus on the thought. How would you conduct a different kind of wear test? In terms of makeup, a wear test would simply be to spend a full day with the product on and to see if it still holds its place at the end of it. It had already been well past afternoon by that time and it wasn’t like there were many other things to do that could budge the lipstick aside from dinner. He always trusted your genius, but he knew that there was more to this.

Felix blinked, once, twice, and then stared.

Were you…going to test if it was really make-out proof?

The world around him seemed to dim — it did, since the studio lights were turning off and the senior stylists urged Jeongin to wake the model up from his short-circuiting brain to change out of the clothes.

That is if Felix could still respond before the horniness consumed him.

lixie: Wait lixie: Don’t tell me lixie: DON’T TELL ME lixie: You’ll test it by putting it on me lixie: AND THEN MAKE OUT WITH ME?????? [Read 2:50 PM] lixie: Y/N!!! Answer me!!! [Delivered, unread 2:51 PM]

The cogs in his head accelerated before banging to a full stop, clinks and clanks ringing through his ears at his very slow realization.

“Congrats, smartypants, you figured it out.” Hyunjin scoffed from behind him.

“Dude—wait, hey! Have you been watching me the whole time?!”

“You should be more secretive,” Jeongin giggled. “Get those privacy screen protectors or something. Now we know what poor Y/N has to deal with every day.”

“And stop getting your thoughts tangled in horny next time you text,” Hyunjin elbowed the poor model boy, fiddling with his camera as if nothing happened. “Don’t worry. Your secrets and online PDA are safe with us.” 

Felix’s face was washed without color. His jaw hung open both at his friends’ antics and your devilish plans.

“I’m looking forward to that review,” Jeongin added before walking away, teasingly pushing Felix’s shoulder on the way out. “Not that I’ll use it or anything.”

The two friends left the set side-eyeing and giggling at Felix.

—

It wasn’t long before you pulled up to the studio to pick your boyfriend up.

“Hi, darling.” Felix’s greeting and nervous smile lit up the quiet air and darkness of your car. He got in the passenger seat and immediately leaned in to kiss your cheek.

He was trembling. 

You had to laugh. “Hey, babe. What’s got you shaken up?”

“Long day.”

“That’s it?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Long because of you,” he said, scrunching his nose. “Kept teasing me.”

“Aw, don’t sulk, silly.” You cooed at him, “Save the pout for later, baby. We’re going home.”

Maybe it was the combination of inhaling your expensive signature scent and hearing the sound of your voice again that made him tingle all over. Maybe it had to do with the curling corners of your mouth that gave Felix all the information he needed in the world. Maybe it was the fact that you held the back of his seat as the car reversed, and the action looked undeniably sexy. 

Felix lifted a leg to cross over the other, but it only ever made him look more uncomfortable throughout the entire car ride home. Though concerned, you didn’t point it out, and instead continued to drive.

His chest was heaving and he internally scolded himself for acting like a bitch in heat.

The both of you arrived home sooner than expected.

The tunes that you played earlier in the car ride home stuck in Felix’s head. He wondered if the song choice of a sultry voice singing about “wants and needs” was deliberate. It was your playlist, and if you intended to include subliminal messaging, then it worked like a charm on him.

He had been worked out to the point he couldn’t face you. The moment he laid eyes on you again in your apartment’s living room, he shied away almost immediately.

You caught his averting gaze, though, and disallowed him from living it down. “Is there something on my face, baby?”

Baby. He could spend a lifetime just listening to you calling him that name. The way it sounded so natural coming from you made him melt. 

He also could not stop staring at your lips. You always wore a certain gloss no matter the occasion. Even if it was your signature, Felix couldn’t help but stare, and it didn’t make his situation any better. In fact, it got worse, and it felt like the straining in his pants could explode.

“Mm, ‘s nothing, Y/N.”

“You sure?” You prodded. “Your friends kept waving at me and they looked back at you earlier.”

“Ah, please don’t mind them.” He scoffed. “They were being cheeky cunts.”

“That’s a funny way to put it.”

“Anyway, how are we gonna do th-the…uh, the thing…?” Felix stammered, playing with his fingers instead of looking you in the eye.

“Oh, glad you mentioned it!” You hurriedly grabbed the three tiny boxes in your bag. “I got a bit excited over it. Look at this!”

There was nothing too remarkable about the boxes. They looked like basic products, but the huge bolded font on the product labels caught his eye. “It’s more of a stain or something. The label says it can survive five consecutive make-out sessions before a singular budge.”

“It’s…interesting, yeah.” Felix blinked. You chuckled, nodding at his reasonable reaction. “So…y-you’ll put that on me.”

“Yep.”

“And then we kiss.”

“Make-out,” you corrected. Your voice was clear and slightly stern, but the smile that formed on your face sent him in shivers.

The familiarity in your features contrasted with whatever stunts you were going to pull on him sent his head into a haze.

“Anything wrong with it?”

“No,” he shook his head.

“Lix, baby, just be clear with me.” You inched closer to him, bringing your hands to his plump freckle-spotted cheeks. “You don’t mind that I’ll record this and post it?”

“Of course, I don’t mind. I just…” Felix sighed.

“…Just curious, what are you planning to show in the video?”

“I’m gonna show the application, I’ll start by putting it on you.”

The heat rushed to Felix’s face as numerous thoughts clouded his mind as he visualized everything in his mind.

“We’re gonna kiss for a brief moment in the video, probably make out and do…whatever,” you winked shyly. “It’s only gonna be brief. Gotta keep it within community guidelines.”

One of your hands made its way down to his hip. You pulled him closer. His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat from gulping back an otherwise embarrassing sound.

You had to wonder if he was hiding anything causing him discomfort there.

“You’re sure you’re okay?”

Felix bit his lip. “A hundred percent sure.”

“If you don’t want—”

“I want…it,” he whispered under his breath. “I want you.”

He flashed a weak smile. He was incredibly excited, but he was losing composure and he didn’t exactly know why.

He was about to melt in your hands but you held him up and adjusted your set-up for the video with an equally beautiful smile.

—

Three, two, one, action.

The camera rolled and you felt the familiar rush of adrenaline surge through you. Impressively, you thought you would have lost your spark at content creation, but posing in front of the ring light felt refreshing.

“It’s been a long time coming y’all,” you waved, “but I’m back! And guess who I’m with!”

Felix stared at the camera for a moment, his eyes flicking back to you for a split second. It was his cue to wave as well.

“Ah, hi, everyone!”

“Still handsome and meek as always,” you teased. “He still has a bit of makeup on since he came from a shoot.”

Your hand ran down the side of his neck. You felt the goosebumps rise from his skin.

“Anyway, today I’ll be starting a series of videos covering weird products and their weird claims. We’re starting strong with this funky new liquid lipstick from…B.Me Cosmetics.”

Taking the tube out of its package, you examined it and showed it to the phone camera. You swatched a shade on the back of your hand. Differing from a bullet lip, it had a liquid formula that boasted a unique, pseudo-gloss satin finish. 

“It claims to be smudge-proof, make-out-proof, everything-proof. Can last five rounds of kissin’ and smoochin’ I assume.” You said many things that Felix didn’t even dare to process.

Felix simply watched your hands delicately hold the product. His gaze was fixated on your nails, fingers, and everything about you that wasn’t the lipstick.

“But oh no no, I’m not testing it on myself. Well, kinda, but Lixie over here is gonna be my test subject.” You swung an arm over Felix, dragging him down to the height of the phone, showing everyone his nervous yet precious face. He eyed up at you with what seemed to be hearts in his pupils.

“Let’s first see how this goes on, hmm?”

You walked a bit away to grab two chairs: one was velvety and comfortable, while the other was taller and had regular cushions. The first was the same chair your clients usually sat on, and the second was your working chair. You urged him to sit down, patting the seat as a signal.

The moment he sat down, Felix started trembling. His knees looked like they were about to give in and his thighs took a moment to settle onto the velvet.

“Everything alright?” You whispered.

He wordlessly nodded back at you. Unknown to you, though, he bit back a noise. He didn’t mind the sharp pulsing pain when he finally got the courage to look up fully, of course with the guidance of your thumb and index finger propping up his chin.

It felt like handling a little kitten in your hands.

“Which shade, which shade…” You took the other bottles out of the bold box packaging and waved them out in front of Felix’s lips. It either would have been a rosy nude color, a deep red, or a bright cherry pinkish-red.

You tapped the tube of the last color against your boyfriend’s bottom lip, watching his cheeks pout slightly at the action. You quietly settled on the cherry color, to Felix’s apparent delight.

“Would you look at that?” You cupped his face with one hand, holding the lipstick on your free one. You faced him towards the camera, relishing in the sight of his cheeks puffing up in your palm. “Call me biased or whatever, but his lips are some of the prettiest I’d ever seen.”

Before he could indulge in the praise though, you urged him to open his mouth. He didn’t prepare for any of this and not your next course of action.

You slotted the bottle in between Felix’s teeth and kept it in place even after unscrewing the applicator off. He bit slightly and carefully to keep the bottle in place without damaging it. If he were a nervous wreck then, he became overly anxious now. You, however, in full focus, took the applicator of the liquid lipstick and slid it along his top lip. The cold sensation of the new foreign product on his mouth made him squirm slightly, though you held him firmly in place with your hand.

“So fitting that his lips are shaped like a heart. He’s so kissable.” You smooched the air while cleaning up the perimeter of his lips, teasing him.

Wished I kissed you right now, huh? Felix could hear that in your voice and he let it echo in his pretty little head. Alas, he couldn’t retaliate nor speak back at all. He couldn’t even dip his head in embarrassment. Your eyes were trained on the brush you flicked, almost dismissive of your own flirting and it mismatched the smirk that adorned your mouth after teasing.

It was the exact kind of look he’s seen many times before. The exact look he fell in love with when you first met.

It’s the look he would get off to almost every night.

You finished off applying the lipstick and it was impressively smooth. You took the bottle from his teeth and sighed. The color made his mouth look irresistibly edible. It would take you three marathons and a trip to the moon to admit that you were starting to feel just as affected as Felix by the sight of his pouty mouth.

“Rub those pretty lips for me, baby.”

Only you could say those words to him the way that you do. Felix felt multiple urges rummaging through his system at once. He could almost cry from wanting to say something, to call out your name, to moan it, to whine and whimper, and melt in your arms as if nobody were watching. 

The eyes of the world were on him, though, and all he could do was comply. He rubbed his lips together and pouted them out with a smack.

“Good job, baby.” You rubbed his chin with your thumb. He felt fire surging within his heart.

He knew that you knew what you were doing. It was only you, after all, who knew how to push his buttons in the right places. Unlike Hyunjin nor Jeongin, it took you no effort and no risks to leave him a mentally jumbled mess; not agitated, but certainly needy.

You were still sticking to a mental script, though. “How does it feel? Chalky? Rough? Sticky…?”

“I-It’s smooth. Feels thin.” He felt his tongue almost twist in his mouth from trying to speak when he was physically weakening over you.

“Seems like a good formula,” you giggled.

He watched as you turned your back on him, explaining bits of beauty jargon that he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. His vision seemed to blur as a need to satisfy the growing discomfort in his pants overwhelmed him. It all snapped away for a second when you switched the angle of your phone and pulled him up by his arms, leading him in front of the couch.

All of a sudden, you rubbed a circle around the base of his wrist. You looked up at him with eyes that demanded something from him. It was dark yet inviting as if he had just eyed down a wolf threatening to eat him whole.

The gesture was your signal that you wanted to fuck him then and there.

Felix finally didn’t have to keep to himself.

“Time to test how good it wears,” you smirked at him.

Felix’s eyes were focused on yours. He didn’t move an inch as your fingers crawled from his jaw to his cheek. You glanced at your phone, propped up on the countertop, to check if it was recording. When you looked back, your eyes met Felix’s red lips.

You were so glad that you picked that shade. The makeup line released a ton of colors and your mind folded into itself when you realized how many there were. It was almost overwhelming to choose a shade for your boyfriend: you wanted to see him with a pinky nude on his lips, but you also thought the dark berry shade looked pretty.

As a trained makeup artist, you had a knack for figuring out which hues elevated which skin tones. Of all people, you knew Felix’s skin would match the slightly muted, pinkish cherry satin stain.

You should know this. You’ve seen his skin flush many times before, that would be more than enough to be familiar with the hues of his delicious skin.

You were the reason why he would constantly blush, after all. His skin would burn under your slightest touch, but it would flare up until his freckles darkened each time you held him down on your hips and called him pretty. His cheeks would turn as red as the tip of his cock every time you squeezed it lightly. 

Before you could think of any more, you tapped your boyfriend’s cheek. His face burned into a shade not far from the color of his lipstick.

“Are you sure you want to record this with me?” You asked, eyes scanning his face for second thoughts.

Felix almost forgot that you needed a clip of the both of you briefly kissing. He nodded after a second, confusion snapping into realization as you smiled at him. He seemed to be lost in thought, too: maybe he was nervous, maybe he was thinking of the same things you thought about. Either way, he simply answered with a smirk and the faintest giggle.

“Yeah. I’m game.”

You were on a mission to prove that this lip product could not budge after an intense make-out session. Now, you — and maybe Felix — wanted to see if it could survive intense sex, too.

All it took were two inches forward: you grabbed his hands dangling in front of you and closed in. Your noses touched each other, the skin bumping softly before your lips slotted against his in the smoothest kiss possible. To his surprise, you started gently. He expected you to crash against his mouth. He expected you to rummage through the product sitting on his mouth right away, to test its strength as a long-lasting piece of makeup, but you didn’t.

Maybe he wanted you to be rough. He wanted it.

You could tell by the whimper he choked up behind the kiss. That, and his hands roamed around your arms and sides, pulling you closer.

“Getting a little excited now, are we?” You purred, pulling your face away from his. He hesitated to break the kiss, inching his lips closer to yours even as you talked.

“Sorry, s-sorry. Got a little carried away.”

You wondered what got him to be so clingy and affectionate. You’re well aware of him being loving and tender, but it’s another thing to have him smitten while you’re doing nothing special.

Little did you know that to him, everything involving you is special. Even the texts you sent earlier and the ones you sent before. He couldn’t stop thinking about them; who wouldn’t, especially when you were being such a tease?

He finally pulled his head back. “Smooth,” he whispered.

You thought to tease him. “The lipstick?” 

“No,” Felix chuckled, “I meant you.”

Your hands traveled from up to his toned arms until one of them met the nape of his neck — his sensitive spot. You often called him a little kitten for enjoying being petted on that spot a little too much.

“So, did it rub off yet?” Your boyfriend managed to squeak, still affected by your antics.

His face was impossibly close to yours and you could feel the heat in his cheeks growing the more that he smiled at you. You stepped back to observe his face: apart from the blush on his cheeks, the lipstick was seemingly left unscathed. By the look on his face, he observed your lips, and there were no signs of product transferring. 

He also just wanted to kiss it again.

You raised an eyebrow at the camera and shrugged. “I guess it survived round one.”

“That was round one?” Felix mirrored the look you gave your phone. “I thought we call that first base.”

Your head whipped back to him. He simply smirked back, feigning an angel’s smile.

You’ve dated him for a long while, and while he had always been silly, he had never been this way in front of the camera. You wondered if the shoot he did — or the staff he was with — earlier had anything to do with a sudden ego boost.

“Now you’re bold, baby.”

The nickname caused Felix’s smirking eyes into wide ones, the excitement writing itself everywhere on his face.

“Just wanna do more with you,” he teased back. “Do more rounds, test how much removes.”

He puckered his lips and pouted. It was a juicy invitation that you couldn’t turn down. Instead, you took it with a kiss — a deep kiss, one that made you inhale and caught him off guard.

It was still gentle and velvety. It felt like you both tasted clouds and nothing was in between. The hand on the nape of his neck ran up to his hair and back down almost instinctively, making Felix shake. Unable to focus on both the sensation of a passionate kiss, an overwhelming urge to breathe and process the suddenness, and the general feeling of being petted, his hands swung to your chest and squeezed.

“Ah! Felix!” You whispered loudly against his mouth, almost moaning at the sensation.

“Sorry! Force of habit,” he said.

“Gotta keep it PG, baby, I’m posting this.” He nodded assuringly at your words but his hands were crucially still on your chest, threatening to squeeze again.

After realizing this, he immediately attempted to pull his hands back, an apology dripping on the tip of his tongue. Instead, you surprisingly threw your hands on his wrists, caging his hands in place.

If that didn’t surprise him enough, you leaned in close to his face and kissed him once more. It was fiery this time; he felt your tongue darting at him while your teeth nipped slightly at his bottom lip before you pulled away. He gasped louder than he should have.

You giggled at his shock and nuzzled your face on his neck. “Sorry. Reflex.”

“But mommy—” Felix froze, realizing what he had just said. He didn’t mean to say that.

All the cockiness he displayed earlier fizzled out into thin air. You could feel the heartbeat in his neck thumping against your lips. From his eyes fluttered shut to wide open ones, you could see the embarrassment wash over him.

Sure, you two were doing something intimate, kissing and groping in front of the camera. He knew and trusted you enough to edit it out, but the idea that footage would have existed of him calling you that nickname…scared him. The camera watched him, the microphone picked up his low voice, and on the off-chance that this moment makes the cut, thousands of people would have seen it. 

He’d gotten used to the idea that millions of people could pass by his face and body, but it’s different when he’s exposing a bit of himself that he only reserved for you — his “mommy.”

“Y/N… Shit, I’m so sorry, I-I didn’t—”

“Oh baby, it’s okay.” You gave a reassuring look and a warm smile, shifting your position to hide his face away from the phone camera.

The pet name was his suggestion. The idea that you could hold this title as his dominant partner was something he never thought of telling you at first, but the moment he mentioned it, you indulged immediately. It was something so dear, so sweet, and soft, definitely making you less of an ominous presence to him in bed and more like a warm home he can return to. You loved it even if he didn’t expect you to.

Even while he’s embarrassed and fully vulnerable, he felt so safe, entrusted to the only one in his life that could take the title without judgment. 

“Call me that as much as you want. I won’t show it,” you whispered. Felix nodded but you didn’t miss the tears threatening to form in his eyes.

“Mommy…” He inevitably gave up and dipped his head in the crook of your neck. You petted the back of his head again and kissed the side of his head, calming him with hushes and soft hums.

Before he could melt at your warm embrace, you took a few steps back. Felix whined and hoped to hug you for longer, only to watch you press the button on your phone to stop the recording. You shut the phone off, looked back at him, and smiled with your eyes.

He always valued your respect for his boundaries and the fact that you always made his comfort your top priority.

“We’re not done,” you inched closer, “the lipstick’s still on there.”

Because if you two were going to fuck comfortably, you two were still going to fuck.

Taking his arms and pulling them towards you, you prompted him to wrap himself around you as your lips crashed against his. You held him by his waist — it was remarkably small, toned, and muscled but definitely made for your hands to take it.

With force, you hugged his waist and carried him slightly, pushing you both on the couch. You sat on it while he was essentially hovering over your figure, his hips just above your lap.

“Mommy—g-god,” Felix gasped, muffled by another nudge of your mouth.

As if your brain switched off, your hands started going on their own. One was trained on his hip and the other snaked up his side and cupped his face, making him tremble at the sudden yet soft movements.

You were focused on the kiss but you just knew he looked gorgeous.

Of all the clients you put makeup on, your boyfriend always turned out the prettiest. Maybe it’s because his eyes seemed to shine with certain shadows on them. Maybe it’s the way his freckles peek through the base products. In this case, maybe it was the plumpness of his lips that you loved, covered in a flattering shade of red. Maybe that’s what was doing it for you.

“You’re so cute, baby,” you said, pausing the kiss.

Felix pouted. The pigment on his lips accentuated the curves of his mouth. “Not as cute as mommy.”

“Hm, thank you. But you’re my cute baby.”

Sometimes, you wonder how you got this to be so vulnerable, so whipped for you. It didn’t take him that long to warm up to you with this side of him, a side he so dearly hid from the rest of the world. It’s like this doll was made for you.

“Mommy,” Felix dragged out a whimper as he called you by the title. “Making me needy.”

“Don’t get impatient baby boy,” you whispered, a kiss on his temple following your sweet words.

While rolling your hips onto his, you thought about it what you said. You thought back to the last night he fell into this extremely submissive role. He’d always been the one under you and you’ve always been the one in control, but during that one night — similar to this one — he shyly asked you to call him a certain pet name. You loved it, probably more than he did, and you figured he might want to hear you say it again.

“Or are you my baby girl for tonight?”

“Mommy!” Felix scolded. If his cheeks were already flushed, his entire face heated up with a warmth that you simply indulged in. His ears and the corners of his eyes lit up with a blush tone that complimented and accentuated the cherry color that lined his shy smile.

He enjoyed the pet name too much, and he seemed to be threatened with memories of the same night the moment you said it.

“What? Don’t want to be my baby girl? It’s okay if you—”

“I’m mommy’s girl! Yeah, I’m their baby girl!”

Almost all traces of bass in Felix’s voice left the moment he squealed his response to you. 

His eyebrows were slanting upwards like a needy puppy, his eyes sparkled as beads of tears sat on his eyelashes, and he wiggled his hips onto yours with a neediness you’ve seen many times before. He briefly whimpered again in a high pitch. 

Being called that for the first time was as special to him as it was to you. It still landed him punches to the gut every time you said it. You would wonder why he loved it even if he was incredibly comfortable in his masculinity.

Maybe it made sense like that, considering he was wearing makeup while sitting on your lap.

You kissed him again and praised him until he gave into the burning sensations he felt from your overwhelmingly smooth graces around his body. With fast swipes, you pulled his plain shirt over his head, only to clothe him again with nothing but the warm embrace of your arms.

He moaned, writhed, and whined, adjusting his position on your lap until his legs were slotted against one of your thighs. Once he found his balance, he rutted against your leg, letting out a sound that he couldn’t resist.

“Didn’t even undress you yet, I still have pants on, and you’re already riding me?” You smiled widely at him. Felix huffed, unable to think, inhaling so that he wouldn’t drool on your shirt.

Or your chest, now that you abandoned your top in a flash, leaving it even harder for him to contain himself.

You took his lips into yours again, this time licking and biting his sweet mouth, allowing his tongue to slide against yours. It was messy and sloppy, just the way he needed it. You wondered if he had been craving this for so long and just couldn’t tell you.

Nevertheless, the next step was to take the bottoms off of your lower half and his own, but he paused your hands from reaching onto his crotch.

“W-Want mommy’s off first,” he sighed. It sounded more like a question now that his voice was so high and his tone was so soft. He was far from the boy whose mouth went foul over his own best friends at work.

His head was far gone, you figured.

Felix helped you pull your pants down, careful not to disrupt the current position that you were both in, only slightly lifting yourself off the couch. He sighed once he saw you, bare and beautiful, rid of anything that kept him from being horny the entire day.

He wanted you so bad.

“Baby girl, tell me,” it was your turn to pause his hands from reaching you.

“Is something bothering you?”

“No…not really a-a bother…” He pursed his lips.

He figured to rip the bandaid off and just show you the source of his discomfort—or, as it seems, the source of his pleasure.

“Baby girl, you…”

He revealed a pastel pink lacy fabric covering his private area. He was wearing panties.

“I…I got them from a PR package…from th-that one underwear company…” Felix justified, stuttering from both extreme embarrassment and arousal.

“It was supposed to be yours b-but I…liked it so much…a-and I wanted to…”

You couldn’t help but notice the drool threatening to fall from his tongue, glossing his lips. Distracted, you didn’t kiss him. You licked his mouth and bit his bottom lip again. The blood under his skin rushed to color his lips, emphasizing the pink-colored stain.

As you bit his lip, your fingers found the band of his panties, toying with the pink lace before slipping under it. The flesh — rather, his cock — was hard and pulsing. Felix moaned. His chest heaved from being unable to process everything at once.

“Baby girl’s clit is so hard for me already.” You pecked his cheek and let him whine. “You’ve been needy since earlier?”

“Y-Yeah, but, ‘m…not finished.” He mumbled under his breath. “Got more…to show you.”

He pulled his panties fully down, allowing his cock to bounce up. You couldn’t help but notice something at the base, but your suspicions were confirmed when he led one of your hands to touch his ass.

“You wore a butt plug the whole day?”

Felix’s face flushed into a shade similar, if not deeper than the cherry red he wore on his lips. At your words, he felt like crumpling into himself. 

“It’s just for you. Thought y-you’d like it.”

All you could do in response was kiss him deeply and thrust your thigh up, hitting the plug deeper into his ass.

He moaned deliciously into the kiss and almost cried at the contact. It fucked with him — literally — the entire day and you made it all the better. Only that he had so little time to adjust before you gave him a dark look again.

“Mommy, what are you—”

He was shut up by you licking his mouth and your fingers filling up his hole.

“Your cunt’s so fucking wet, baby girl.” Your words left your system through gritted teeth, filtering your animalistic desire to ruin him even more than ever. “This pussy is mine and only mine.”

You bit his lip once more, sucking on the plump flesh before abandoning it. “Bet your toys can’t satisfy you as I do.”

“They d-don’t, mommy!” Felix was on the verge of tears, choking back sobs as your teeth found his jaw, peppering it with love bites lining his natural contour.

You started pumping your fingers up and down his ass, hitting his prostate with your fingertips over and over. “Can only take me inside your cunt.”

“Ah, god—fuck, mommy!” The delirious sounds escaping him as he scrambled to hold onto your body kept you going.

As if he noticed, he started grinding into the air next to your entrance. You took this as his usual sign that he wanted to please you too. Felix valued mutual pleasure and craved it as much as he craved the sloppy crashing of mouths on a couch.

“Take me like a good girl.” Your voice softened as you cooed. “Can you do it? Ride mommy’s fingers while fucking into me?”

He could only nod frantically, allowing the drool in his mouth to drop onto his cock. 

The lipstick probably looked so messy by now.

You held his cock, lengthy and hard, and squeezed it in your free hand. “This is mommy’s to play with.” 

Shoving it into your entrance, you curled your fingers deep onto Felix’s prostate, eliciting loud moans from either of you. Felix could scream from the sudden warmth enveloping his cock.

“Rub your clit against me,” you demanded, urging him to thrust his cock immediately. He complied only to start whining and crying out from the stimulation.

You leaned your head to the side and exposed your neck. With a subtle nod of your head, you invited him to bite your neck before his next thrust. Lightning bolts entered you when his teeth sunk into your skin for some semblance of comfort.

In turn, you kissed and sucked a spot on Felix’s shoulder. The biting sensation made him squirm away from you, but his noises only amplified when you latched onto a more sensitive spot above his freckled collarbone. It didn’t help that your fingers were practically exiting and entering his hole completely, filling and emptying him at a speed he almost couldn’t take.

The stimulation from all ends of his body caught up to him, release rumbling from his core up to his cock. He begged and pleaded and called your name multiple times as you did too. Felix readied for release but shocked himself when it came suddenly, almost without warning.

He started gushing just outside your entrance, the relief surging through his hips in waves: it had never happened to him before, but the slight amusement on his fucked-out face sent you over the edge too.

You came at the same time, your wetness coating the sides of your thighs and the cushions of the couch, the pool of both your juices mixing right under you.

It had to take you both several minutes to an hour of downtime before you both got up to clean. During that time, Felix held you close, trapping you in a warm cuddle.

“Y/N, I love you,” he whispered, his deep voice returning, calming you from your high.

You pressed one more kiss on his lips. “I love you too, Felix.”

Aftercare had to be a non-negotiable after the scene you guys painted all over the living room.

You made sure to offer Felix the softest bubble bath, massaging and soothing every inch of his skin, scrubbing away at the residue of the new lipstick.

You both found out, just before the bath, that it barely survived at all. It still stained his lips a shade of red, and the stains of love bites that he left on you stuck for a long while, but the actual product budged possibly within the third round of kisses. It barely held on when you started biting him.

The bedroom was full of giggles and the shuffling of your bodies cuddling close to calm yourselves down. Felix shared how he couldn’t believe his horniness that day, and you teased that he was being a hormonal girl.

He whined at that, kissed you good night, and fell asleep while huddled close to your chest. You calmly played with your phone, quickly editing the footage and clipping out the moment that he slipped into submission.

That was for your eyes only.

You posted the video and muted the notifications, kissed his forehead good night, and fell asleep.

—

“Baby, baby girl…” Your voice, although hoarse and deep from the blissful sleep, woke your boyfriend up. The clock on your bedside table flashed 9:00 AM in bright red, but the light from your phone shone brighter. “Look at this!”

“Holy…Y/N, oh my god!” Every trace of sleepiness left Felix as he jumped out of bed. “The video blew up?!”

You sat up next to him, chuckling in disbelief. “Let’s see what people are saying.”

“Why does the suggested search bar have…”

Men marked up. Men with hickeys. Men whining. It was clear that the video affected your audience in more ways than one.

“Silly,” you giggled, sinking into your boyfriend’s embrace. “Wonder how this thing got through community guidelines.”

Felix pointed at a comment. “Help. Someone’s asking about washing the stains off.”

The both of you cuddled closer. As the sunlight shone through your curtains and hit your figures, it highlighted Felix’s honey skin and the cherry stains that failed to wash off in the shower.

You turned your head to his and smirked. “Should we film an update video? What about a part 2?”

taglist: @toastyseungmo @hobihearteu @biddes-enthusiast @snow-pegasus @subby-kpop @myrandomthoughtsandhobbies @eggielix @hanniecheesecake @chrisbahng @laylasbunbunny @ppiri-bahng @he-they-heathen @chriscentric @svintsandghosts @sstarryoong

+ @imrllytootiredforthis @imsolovelylovely @beefis @sorikkung @lix-ables figured to tag since yall showed interest!

special thanks to @meivida, my ride or die, the big brain that inspired me to write this in the first place! they also took time out of their day to proofread it ^_^

thank you for reading ! consider reblogging and leaving feedback if you loved my work 💗 artwork and writing © ipegchangbin. no reposts and translations.

[blxetsi]

HIIIII!! can i get a pieck finger dating headcanons if that’s alright with you of course? your stuff makes me soft, stay safe!

yuh ‼️ tysm for your request

pieck finger dating headcanons (modern au)

pieck finger x gn!reader

warnings: literal fluff, no angst or anything i love pieck

- bc pieck is assumed to be like 23-26 this wont be a uni au or anything

- idk i rlly think you guys wouldve met in a mundane way

- like you bump into her on the sidewalk and try to the really awkward "oh im so sorry i didnt see you there- no really it was my fault- are you sure youre okay ?- okay great- no im not hurt- yeah- okay have a good day and again im so sorry !!" thing with her

- and then maybe you guys see each other again at a coffee place, youre there with your friends and shes there with hers, and you dont wanna talk to her obv bc that would be awkward

- then ur friend makes u go and order another coffee for them, and while youre waiting for your order pieck comes and stands beside you

- and shes very observant yknow ?? if she sees a face its very hard for her to forget it

- so she immediately recognizes you and blurts out "its you !"

- and you have to be like "oh yeah ! it is me ! its you too"

- she finds it quite cute and giggles about it

- a very laidback person but also a very blunt person

- she doesnt find any harm in asking "can i get your instagram @" look she doesnt wanna be a creep and ask for ur number right at the start

- and it gives her a chance to find out what kind of person you are

- it would absolutely suck for her if such a cute face was posting fishing pictures and alt right propaganda yknow ??

- so you two do and then both of your orders come so you two give awkward goodbyes before going back to your groups

- her instagram is very pretty, nice themes

- she posted a couple of hours ago, with her and her friends in a park, taking a couple of posed photos while some looking like they were natural

- shes adorable and you cant help but feel your cheeks go warm as you basically stalk her page

- she dms you and says "are you too busy looking at my feed that you havent followed me yet ?" and you see this mf staring at you across the room like 👁️👁️

- okay nosy lets calm down now 🙄🤚

- you try to defend urself but ur typing so quick you keep making errors in your writing, she ends up saying something else

"you know, i was doing the exact same thing. youre beautiful you know"

- thank you pieck 🥰

- over the next couple of weeks thats how you two communicate. she'll send you instagram memes and edits of her favourite shows, movies, games etc. and you find yourself having a lot in common w her

- you check her story so frequently it becomes one of the first accounts on the top of your homepage

- and FINALLY, when she feels she can see you as a friend and not just some pretty stranger she met on the street she asks you out

- it was a simple thing, just to the movies, and she even let you pick which one !! (imagine its pre covid idfk)

- you two go and its an awkward hug before you both head inside

- you pay for your tickets and she gets an extra large popcorn and a drink

- you assume shes just v hungry but before you can order yourself something shes like "what are you doing i got this for us !!"

- rlly cute bitch omfg

- during the movies, after she eats literally most of the fucking popcorn, she pulls your hand out of your lap and holds it with her buttery one 🥰🤚

- this bitch had crumbs and didnt even think to wipe them off

- you still held her hand tho anyways

- after that night you parted ways in front of the theater after making sure you two would be getting home safe

- and that became routine for a couple of weeks, not going to the movies obviously bc thats expensive but watching movies together !! youd go over to her apartment or she would come over to yours

- one thing about pieck is that shes very touchy

- one way or another she will end up cuddled with you on the couch

- it doesnt matter if its you being forcefully pulled on top of her body or her draping herself over you like shes a blanket, you two WILL be cuddling and you WILL enjoy it

- but finally, as if the gods gave you mercy, she finally kissed you

- it felt so nice, her lips were soft and sticky from her lip gloss and she tasted like the swedish berries you had gotten for her to munch on

- and the rest of the movie you two just sat there, kissing each other and giggling like teens

- she ended up staying the night, and complimented your bedsheets

- your relationship moved pretty fast after that

- she had already told all of her friends about you, they werent very surprised

- when you got officially introduced her friends zeke and porco tried to do that whole "if you hurt her.." speech before she slapped them and had marcel pull you away to safety

- other than that the night was very fun, you got to talking about your career, why you moved to the city, and other mundane topics

- pieck is actually a graphic designer, and everytime she comes to sleep over she just HAS to bring her laptop with her

- its basically just her laying in between your legs while she types away, youll pet her hair and lay soft kisses on her neck, and occasionally ask what shes doing

- she likes to tell you, has no problem in answering the questions you have, even if you think theyre stupid ones, shes very soft with you

- also a bit of a trickster

- for your first april fools together she slept over, you didnt have anything planned for her bc youre a good person and wont hurt the ones you love

- she stuffed your breakfast muffin with mustard 😁👍

- you gave her the cold shoulder for the rest of the day until she apologized by getting you a new muffin

- now she always dropped the l bomb to you, but she never needed you to say it

- thats why, when you were helping her cook dinner at her place you softly said "see ? and thats why i love you" she kind of,,, stopped what she was doing

- you realized why she wasnt washing the knife she used to cut your vegetables and tried to backtrack, but it was too late, she was already tackling you into a hug and taking you down onto the floor

- she just gave you kisses while repeating "i love you i love you i love you" over and over again

- bc of her you burnt ur fucking chicken smh

- you spent that night eating junk food and watching movies

- piecks a very observant person, so she always knows when youre sad too

- when you give that little huff when you come home to your (new !) shared apartment she knows something is up

- she'll slowly trail behind you as you walk to your bedroom, stripping to your underwear and changing into your pajamas

- you crawl into bed just wanting a nap to forget about the day, and she'll crawl in with you and hold you

- you never like to cry but youre so frustrated and upset at your coworkers, at that rude customer, at those deadlines, that you just breakdown

- and she lets you, she lets you almost suffocate yourself in her chest with how much your pushing your head into it, she strokes your hair while you choke on your own cries and hands you tissues when you need to blow your nose

- "what do you need my love ?" "i just need you" "okay baby"

- communication is a big thing in the relationship, and because shes been so open and honest from the beginning, talking about how you feel has never been easier

- in fact, you like talking about how you feel about your relationship, or how you didnt like what pieck said to your friends the other day, this and that, you feel comfortable and safe with pieck no matter what, which makes talking about even the most hardest things seem so simple and natural

- all in all, even when she wakes you up with spontaneous ice cream dates or asks that you put raisins in the popcorn during movie night, even with the fights and the crying and the exhaustion the next day, life would be much duller without her, and you only have to thank your clumsy self

uhh i feel like this is very short but yeah ❤️ requests are open so go crazy mfs ‼️

[charmspoint]

💋 🎶📈 <3

Hello i got BUSY

💋 First kiss fics. Love em or hate em?

I've never had like much vendetta against against first kisses until Curse AU and people bringing up like 'I hope they kiss soon!!' or 'can't believe they havent kissed yet >.<'. Like....I'm very acearo lmao and a lot of relationships i write, even tho technically allo, tend to follow this. I don't like the way kissing is sorta made into this 'relationship start ok GO' thing, the way relationship almost isn't considered official until that first kiss, the way it's like right next to sex as must do romantic thing, you don't love your partner if you don't do this and ya know me, if you tell me something is a have to i dont want it. I don't mind kisses, I even like writing it. There's a first kiss in sweet on and i just wrote two characters kissing for the first time over a dying person as a visual for falling into corruption so you know, it's fun. I just don't like it when it's a MUST and when it's a BIG THING. When i was writing curse au i told my beta 'they aint kissing until its 100% they are already in a relationship and have been for a long time'. If you need a kiss to know these two characters love each other I'M not doing my job right. I like writing relationships and duo dynamics and dialog and portraying two people together that way is really fun. I just don't want kissing to be end all and be all, like look at everything else. Kissing for me will always be a fun affection add on, like hugs or hand holding, but on its own its not something i like to blow up to be super big.

Not when you can instead eat your partner whole you know NOW THATS LOVE BAYBEE

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I can't concentrate on both music and writing at the same time so i only listen to music when I plan my writing. Lately I've been listening to Kiss me you animal by Burn the Ballroom constantly which has everything to do with aforementioned kissing over a dying person.

📈 How many fics do you have?

Atm I have 53 fics on ao3 and 7 on fanfiction (considering i also deleted one there lmaooooo)

Ask game

[sckyie]

word count: 1.2k

genre + warnings: fluff; tsuki gets protective on the train, light swearing

pronouns used: she/her

a/n: i wrote this on my wattpad since i havent posted in a while,,

tsukki

don't be late dumbass, i'm not waiting for you

you when he's so nice on your FIRST date >>>

tsukki the more sarcastic you are the less time i'm giving you

you calm your tits i'm literally approaching you

Tsukishima looks up from his phone to see you approaching and felt his cheeks warm up. He hasn't seen you all dolled up outside of school and your video calls. He's always seen the school and gym uniform and your at-home clothes. Today was different than all those other days. It wasn't a study date nor a walk home.

Today was the whole day just for the two of you. Tsukishima had asked you the other day to go out on a date to prove a point to his upperclassmen that he wasn't talking to an imaginary girl. Nonetheless, Tsukishima had feelings for you but never officially asked you to be his. Maybe today was the day?

"Hey loser," He says as you approached.

"Hi," You gleamed. His salty attitude compared to yours made it seem like the two of you would never click. "Let's go?"

Tsukki nods before holding out his hand. You tilt your head at his kind gesture. You could tell by his scrunched nose that he wouldn't offer it later on. Happily, you place your palm in his as you two made your way to the train station.

At the booth, Tsukki pays for both your tickets to Sendai and makes sure you stay close to him. Today was a busy day for the train from Miyagi to Sendai, causing you to squeeze against Tsukishima. The two of you were blushing like crazy as this was the closest you two had ever been.

Once the crowd died down, Tsukki had noticed a pair of eyes on your skirt across the train car. Without thought, he pulled off his jacket, draping it over you. "What- Tsukki? I'm not cold," You say.

"If you trust me, you'd wear it until we get to the museum," He says, adjusting his coat to cover your skirt. You nod, letting him fix the ends. Once he finished, he made eye contact with the perv staring at you. Tsukki shoots a death glare, causing you to look up and turn around to see what he's glaring at. Before you could see what he was looking at, Tsukishima moved your head to just look at him.

After the whole train situation, you two arrive at the Sendai station with your hands linked. The two of you took a bus to a cafe by the museum to get lunch. You were able to convince Tsukki to let you pay for lunch but he asked to pay for the museum tickets.

"So you mean to tell me," You giggled. "The saltiest man I know likes the softest dessert out there?"

"Keep talking, watch what happens," He points his fork at you causing your hands to fly up in defense.

"Tsukki, I have to ask," You start.

"Hm?" He takes a bite out of the shortcake.

"Why'd you choose to take me out on a date? I thought you didn't like me that way," You tap his fork with yours.

"Hm, I don't like you like that," He says. Your happy expression falls and he immediately started to chuckle. "Come on pipsqueak, I was joking. You know I like you, why else would I confess to you?"

"True. I didn't believe you were actually confessing because well, you don't seem like you like anyone," You say. Tsukki leans over to wipe your face, making you blush. "Thank you..."

Tsukki smirks at your rosy cheeks before finishing the cake. You roll your eyes before you both left for the museum. Hand in hand, Tsukishima and you had walked from the cafe to the ticket booth to see the exhibits. As he promised, he paid for both of you.

Throughout the date, Tsukki worried that you wouldn't enjoy the museum as much as he does. To his surprise, you'd ask him so many questions, and was genuinely curious about the different artifacts. He noticed the sparkle in your eye as he spoke more about the different dinosaurs.

The two of you approached the dinosaur bones and asked Tsukki how much he knows about all the different artifacts. The pure joy in your eyes made Tsukishima smile at how cute you reacted. With every exhibit, you pointed out different things and read the information plaque in front of them.

"You really like dinosaurs," You smiled as he rolled his eyes. "Ooh! There's a gift shop! Can we go Tsukki?"

"Oh, sure," He says. You dragged Tsukishima's hand to the shop. You admired the different items in the store. You stopped at the jewelry and noticed a cute pair of dangling gold earrings. They had little triceratops hanging from the chain with little hearts for eyes. You looked at the price and sighed before moving on to the stuffed animals.

You picked up a small triceratops plush and showed it off to Tsukki. "Look," You smiled. "Look at how squishy his face is." You squeezed its face and held it out to him.

"Do you want it?" He asks.

"Don't buy it," You say immediately putting it back. He reached over you and picked it back up.

"I asked if you wanted it," Tsukki leaned down to meet your face.

"No," You lied.

"I'm buying it either way," He says. You rolled your eyes when you got a phone call from your mom. "Go take the call, I'll go pay for this."

You nod and leave the store, talking to your mom while Tsukishima pays. He glances behind him to ensure no one is near you and you're being nearby. He finishes his transaction before going outside and joining you.

The train ride and walk home were filled with recalling all the different artifacts you saw. Tsukishima smiled at how happy you were at the museum and was glad to know it was a right choice to go.

At the doorsteps of your house, Tsukishima hands you the triceratops from earlier. "Aww, thanks Tsukki," You smiled. "What should I name him?"

"Trig, after the subject you love greatly," He refers to your trigonometry study dates and how much you struggle with the subject.

"Fuck off," You chuckled. "I'll call him Kei-Kei. Thank you again Tsukishima for taking me out today. I had a lot of fun." Tsukki rolls his eyes as you hugged the stuffie close to your body.

"No problem," He says as he fiddles with something in his pocket. "Before I leave, I got you these."

Tsukki places a pair of earrings in your hand, more specifically the ones you wanted. You smiled at the sight and jumped up to hug him. His hands cautiously hug your torso as you squeezed his neck. "What have you done with the real Tsukki?" You pull away. "He's never this nice."

"Shut up," He growled.

"I'm kidding," You gleamed. "Thank you."

"Again, you're welcome," Tsukki rubbed the back of his neck. You two fell quiet for a second. To break the silence, you tiptoed and pecked his cheek, close to his lips.

"Let me know when you get home, m'kay?" You say before disappearing into your house. You lean against the door, smiling like crazy as you hugged your new plush.

Little did you know, Tsukishima was doing the same on the way home. His heart filled with joy and his mind full of love.

taglist: @amillionfandoms-onlyoneme @just-a-siiimp @d0llpie @elianetsantana

[spookybreadstick]

hi hi !!

i havent sent a letter in a while, i've gotten pretty busy doing color guard. do you know what that is? it's quite fun, though less people know about it.

color guard is like rotc, but it's less serious n stuff. it's usually contemporary dance with flags, rifles, and sabers. we work with the marching band !! and no the weapons aren't real, they do hurt though. we tape them up with electrical tape and wear gloves since it can hurt your hands a lot.

we have a show review next week !! that means whatever show we decided to create this year and work on we'll be going to another school to have the judges review our show and give us any criticism n what not.

we even are going to start practice for a new years parade our school has always been performing for for literal decades. it's 5 miles so we really have to build up stamina to do flag work and dance, not to mention memorize and have a good diet for it. since it's a parade it'll be about 1-3 hours long.

it's odd, i'm not used to being busy often or having an actual schedule since i've been depressed since i was young—though i haven't been diagnosed. i'm not diagnosed with anything, i know i said i had adhd and i feel bad for lying. i have a cousin a first cousin with it and i researched it since i wanted to do something in any medical profession or like- therapy at some point. so every single thing i read or research, i have symptoms or can relate far too much. i've been relating to and understanding anything i see about people with adhd or people with adhd explaining it or describing it since i was in elementary. i don't want to self diagnose though, that isn't good, but it sucks being stuck with either being diagnosed but then actually being diagnosed and having my family treat me like some kid.

i don't talk about it often besides with friends though since i don't want people thinking i'm being weird or faking it. i've just been having the symptoms since as long as i can remember so i try and figure it out myself before i decide to go and ask to be diagnosed.

i had the courage to ask my doctor a year ago but i was moving in a week when i asked so i couldn't get an evaluation or be assessed. so when i finally asked, my situation ruined it.

sorry for dumping like that. i got sick recently so i havent been able to be awake much or do anything properly. it's not covid, just a sore throat n lots of congestion. i have to blow my nose every 30 seconds i swear. so i havent been able to tell any friends and stuff about these things.

anyways, daily questions so prepare yourself !! how are you, mentally, physically, and emotionally? anything fun you did recently? have you been taking care of yourself? are you okay, considering the amount of time you took away from tumblr to move n all of that. how's moving been?

that's all for this letter, and i'm sorry if any of the topics i've mentioned aren't very joyous or make anyone get triggered.

– MC

hi MC, it's good to hear from you! so sorry for such a late reply :(

My ex-best friend used to do color guard, so I know of it's existence (she took up the activity at the end of our friendship, so I don't know too much, thanks for filling me in!) It sounds like a lot of work, so I applaud you for that. I don't think I could ever do it lol

self-diagnosis can be a tricky thing because you’re right, it isn’t great to self-diagnose but at the same time I know not everybody has the resources and means to get officially diagnosed. And in my opinion, diagnosis can do a lot of good for a person. I have a math learning disability that I wasn’t diagnosed with until last year. I knew something was wrong but I wasn’t able to get tested for the longest time. It actually hindered me more I think when it hung over my head as some big cloud of “I know something’s wrong with me but I can’t get tested, what if this is all in my head & I’m just making it up for attention, or what if I’m just really dumb and trying to use this an excuse for it’. all that fun self-doubting/spiraling thoughts. But after I got tested and diagnosed with my learning disability for math, it’s like things shifted for me. I had more patience with myself, if that makes sense. I started to treat myself like I would if I was any other person with a math learning disability. Like when those thoughts came to me, I was able to say to myself ‘You know you have a math learning disability and that’s okay, you’re not making it up for attention, and you’re not dumb’. It was a freeing and calming thing for me, so I totally get why it would be the same for you with a self-diagnosis (although I hope you can actually get diagnosed soon for your own sake and mental well-being, I know it’s tough though!) And you know, plenty of people have ADHD and it’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by if you do have it! If anybody treats you differently (which I don’t think they will), then that’s their problem, not yours! 

As for your questions....

1a) I am mentally doing alright. Seasonal depression is coming back, I can feel it in my bones, so that’s always tough

1b) I am physically well, just have a lot of bruising from dancing (I’m part of a dance club, and while learning some new moves I totally wiped out!!) 

1c) I am emotionally good right now! Things have been crazy lately but things are calming down enough for me to take a breather, you know?

2) The fun thing that I did recently was go back to my family’s house and help them decorate for Christmas! 

3) I’ve been trying to take care of myself! I’ve been really enjoying parfaits lately, and I also recently bought some new skin-care products that I’m excited to try out. I am slacking on my vitamins though, so I’ve gotta get that in check! 

4) It was hard for me to take a break to be honest, and I know I’m still not super regular with everything, but the move and classes and everything was a lot harder than I thought. In a good way though, if that makes sense? Like I thought it would be a bad-hard, like I’m lonely and crying all the time and I have all this extra empty time on my hands that I could at least use to work on the blog, but it’s not like that. It’s good-hard, like I have friends and I’m doing activities and I’m staying so busy with general life and such that I don’t have a lot of time for the blog like I thought I would. So it’s good, but also not exactly what I expected?

Thank you for your letter MC! Hope to hear from you soon!

- breadstick 🥖

[a-libra-writes]

SFW Alphabet - Tyrion Lannister

bro ive done nothing but be tired, binge peaky blinders and write whatdayisit

this was a request!! if you havent read the books by now plz consider it bc this man is a treasure

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Tyrion loves giving you all sorts of affection, letting you and others know how much he adores you. When you’re sitting side by side he’ll touch your hand and often kiss it, glad when you lean in for a proper kiss. In the privacy of your chambers, he’s always comforted when you two snuggle up and chat, read a book or just silently enjoy each other’s company. It’s the sort of peace he never thought he’d enjoy. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Once someone earns his trust and better, admiration, Tyrion proves himself to be a loyal and capable friend. He appreciates someone with wit and empathy, and once Tyrion is close enough with someone to trust them with his thoughts, he’ll find himself leaning on that friendship for his sanity many times over. He’ll get more sentimental about it the longer it goes on, seeing as he often feels alone in his thoughts.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Tyrion adores your hugs and closeness, especially when you initiate it. Any sort of cuddling is good - wrapped up in your arms, leaning against you, you resting on him, or both of you sitting up and relaxing against a small mountain of pillows. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He always secretly thought of a family, one of his own that accepted him, but it seemed so far away. Now that your relationship with him is a reality, he can’t believe how lucky he is and thanks whatever gods were responsible for allowing this happiness. He’d absolutely want a family with you, in time, and would protect you fiercely. 

Considering cooking and cleaning has always been done for him, Tyrion isn’t experienced in either. Truthfully, he’s a bit messy, especially at his desk area, which has always been a small disaster zone. Sometimes you tidy up, only to come back the next evening and notice there’s a new stack of books and a slew of papers everywhere. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He would be avoidant of it, not wanting to accept the fact the relationship was coming to an end. Eventually Tyrion knew he’d have to do it, and he’d speak to you privately, making sure you both had dinner and wine first. He’d break it to you gently and matter of factly, explaining how he came to this conclusion - if he figured you’d be happier this way, or you had just become someone he couldn’t understand anymore, he feel he would have no choice.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Even if he likes to play at being a free-wheeling man, he’s always wanted to have a comfortable, happy domestic life. Tyrion figured that was a pipe dream for years. While he may have fallen for you, unless there was some official arrangement, he’d have reservations asking for marriage. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Tyrion has always been gentle and considerate with you, as you’re incredibly important to him. Even when he feels you may not be approaching something the right way, he’d discuss it with you logically or calmly explain his side of things. Physically he doesn’t treat you like you're fragile, nor would he ever imagine physically harming you. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He always appreciates your hugs and holds you tight whenever you want one. If you want to be held, he’ll do so, stroking your back and asking what’s on your mind. Honestly, Tyrion appreciates any sort of physical affection.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

He thinks it first before considering saying it, especially since he doesn’t want to scare you away. Tyrion would consider your actions and words carefully, wanting to be sure that you felt it as well. He’d prefer it if you said it first, but after a while he can’t help himself and it just slips out in a fumbling mess. He’d have to sigh, start over and give you a proper heartfelt confession. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Tyrion’s jealousy often manifests in sullenness and over-analyzing whoever is making eyes at you, or worse, thinking they can flirt without him being aware. If he’s truly bothered, he’ll mosey his way over to you and give them an insult hidden in a joke, hoping you’ll laugh at it. He absolutely trusts you, it’s other men that make him nervous. He’s seen and known the rest of them, so.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

He has all sorts of kisses ready for you. Sweet ones for waking up in the morning, more passionate ones for the evening, quick ones during the day so you know he appreciates you always. Since your hand is the easiest to reach, especially when you’re both in public, he often kisses your fingers. When you’re sitting or lounging together, he’ll prefer your neck and lips. Note that if you’re sensitive or ticklish anywhere, he will find it and use it against you with a devilish grin.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Tyrion’s comfort level with children depends on their age. He’s always worried he’ll drop a baby or they’ll somehow be fearful of him, so he tends to avoid the much younger ones - unless it was his own, of course. Children tend to be unruly and speak whatever pops into their head, uncouth or not, so he gets along best with older ones. He’s a doting uncle to his good niece and nephew, after all, and he’s admittedly weak to more shy, out-of-place kids. As a father, he’d be just as kind-hearted, but he’d love to have a witty child to teach and have clever little talks with. Teenagers are too sullen for his taste, but he’s patient with them and seems to know just how to speak with them.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

If he’s hungover or turning in after a late night - it’s usually both of those things - he’ll have found his way mostly under the covers, usually resting on your chest or your shoulder. He’ll grumble when you move away to get ready, but he’d fall asleep again quickly, especially after feeling your calming touch. He’s more of a late morning to early afternoon riser, but if there’s important business, he’ll pull himself up with even more grumbling and complaints. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Tyrion is naturally a night owl, and once the sun is down, he suddenly feels far more awake. He’ll spend his evenings with a cup of wine, his desk full of papers and books and preferably you sitting with him in the room. Even if you two are just enjoying the silence in your own ways, it’s immensely reassuring to have your presence with him. If work is truly taxing him, he’d ask for your opinion on several decisions, wanting to know if he was doing the right thing. Eventually you’d have to set his quill down and stubbornly keep asking him to come to bed. Even when you’re curled up under the covers, he might still keep talking about whatever treaty he was working on - in that case, shutting him up with a kiss deep always works.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as Tyrion presents himself as elusive and full of secrets to strangers and enemies, he’s desperate to connect with someone emotionally. He tried to be his charismatic and standoffish self with you, evading all sorts of questions, but as your friendship - and his feelings - deepened, it was too difficult to keep up the charade. Once Tyrion felt safe with you, once he trusted you, he was a goner. He couldn’t help but tell you things that troubled him, especially memories from the past. It wouldn’t spill out at once, but you’d start to tell when he was in a morose mood and needed to talk. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

You know that for all the patience he has to present in court, Tyrion hates the injustice he often has to watch or play a hand in. His family especially tries on him, and you’re there to support him as best as you can. When it comes to you, Tyrion struggles to actually get upset. It’s not that you do anything to anger him regularly; he just thinks the absolute world of you, and he downplays any negative traits you might have. If he were truly upset about something, he may not even tell you about it. He’d just be exasperated for a day then move on. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Tyrion knows all sorts of your favorite things, like perfume, preferred flowers, what you like to eat and drink, the kind of jewelry you wear depending on the occasion, dress color and materials … all things he’s bought to make you happy both when you were courting and married. He’s excellent at picking out material gifts, even if it’s “simpler” things like books and embroidery thread, even instruments. Nothing is too good for you. 

In general Tyrion has a good memory, so he’d also know things you’ve told him in confidence. They were important enough to you to tell him, so naturally he’d remember. He may even remember things you don’t recall talking about. After a while you stopped being so surprised when Tyrion would bring up a detail or person you mentioned months or years ago.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Even to this day, he can’t get the sweet memory of your confession out of his head. Even when it was happening, he was so sure he was dreaming, or it was some terrible misunderstanding. He remembers a lot about that day, because he’s replayed it in his head so much. The way your eyes sparkled and your cheeks blushed, how the sun made your hair glow and the way your dress gently moved in the breeze. When he’s having an especially dark day, recalling such a fond memory does wonders for his soul. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Tyrion takes absolutely no chances with you. He’d want to replace your guards with men loyal to him. Even guards from your House would be vetted and personally spoken to. He’d want no less than four with you, which you felt was a little excessive, but he’d lower it to two at your request … with about five you weren’t aware of, hiding behind shadows and corners. This was especially true in King’s Landing. Tyrion wouldn’t back down on providing you numerous loyal and strong men; he wasn’t about to let his wife waltz around vipers without adequate protection.

He wouldn’t expect the same protection from you, since he had his own men, but he didn’t account for the way you protected him with words. You’d stand up for his honor and defend him against all manner of people, against charges great and small. Tyrion couldn’t believe someone would go such lengths to protect him, and it made him feel even more blessed to have you.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He takes special note of any important dates and anniversaries, setting aside time for a date and having it nicely planned out. If business couldn’t wait, he’d make sure there was some way to make it up to you, guaranteed. Tyrion wants you to feel appreciated and loved always, and he’d gladly tell all of King’s Landing to fuck off for your sake … if only that didn’t end in terrible consequences.

As stated before, he’s excellent with gifts and that extends to his everyday actions. He never fails to give you hello and goodbye kisses, hold your hand, compliment a new style you try, and so forth. He isn’t flattering or settled into a boring routine, it’s all genuine. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

You were already aware of the rumors surrounding Tyrion’s machinations, but now you were seeing the cogs turn in real time. More often than not, Tyrion didn’t tell you of his plans. He didn’t want you involved, and you noticed he’d assume the worst of situations: The amount of times he worried that something would end in your gory death was too much. You knew that his fears weren’t totally unfounded, but you still wished he would let you in on some of the schemes so you could have a better idea of what was happening, or more importantly, so you could help.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

As much as he plays aloof about his condition, he isn’t blind or an idiot. He dresses in fine clothes and jewelry and keeps himself well-groomed to  maintain that perfect, presentable Lannister facade, as much as his father and sister feel like he’s just a joke in silk. You often spot him fussing with doublets or looking irritably at his scar in a mirror, and his soothes him greatly when you help smooth out his hair and clothes. He’d have trouble accepting any genuine compliments you gave him, so sometimes just being caring was enough. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

As if Tysha wasn’t bad enough, Tyrion would truly suffer if something happened to you. He may not even recover completely, going into a deep, angry and seemingly endless depression. He’s very aware this will happen if you die from sickness or the gods forbid, from one of his enemies, so it’s just another reason he’s so protective. Even when you two have to be apart because of travel, he’ll count on your letters and the ones he sends to you to keep him going. Even if it would be dangerous to you, he’d selfishly wish you were by his side. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Tyrion likes it when you two wear something that’s maybe not very fancy, but it has some special meaning to you. Examples would be the first dress he ever bought you, with embroidery of your House in your favorite color, or a pretty and simple jade ring from Yi Ti just because you liked reading about it so much. He’d have a little sculpture on his desk from some joke between you two, or even a little charm you wove for fun, very sentimental things like that. Things he could look at or touch and remember the smiles you had over it.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He’s had enough baseless cruelty and pettiness from his family that he just can’t tolerate it in other people. Those using their status to abuse people below them are also just as despicable, and he has little patience for a partner who would rest on their family’s status and wealth and do little to improve themselves. Lack of wit and cruelty are probably the biggest turn-offs, though.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Even if he falls asleep peacefully, resting against you, somehow he ends up under the covers or halfway across the bed or in a position that looks very uncomfortable to you - and if his groaning and stretching when he wakes up is anything to go by, it probably is. You’re certain Tyrion can’t sleep still to save his life. It also humors you how he struggles to sleep on anything but a very fine bed and silk sheets, but you don’t tease him about that … much.

[captainshazamerica]

dude I have no chill when it comes to asks 😅

2. Do you like the arrowverse if so what's your fav show? (Mines flash but legends is so so chaotically lit it's a dumpster fire of awesomeness highly recommend that even tho they did my fav kinda dirty they had no need to do that to her but hey)

5. Fav character(s)?

15. Dark trinity or trinity?

17. Teen titans or Young Justice?

18. Fav animated show and/ or movie? (BTAS is supreme to me lol)

22. Fav Robin! ( this is so hard but also not I feel like dick gets it just cuz he was the first )

31. Do you like the character of the joker?

38. Who do you think is the most over looked and under used character?

51. Justice League or League of Assassins or Justice League Dark?

🎪I haven't started wayne fam adventures yet but it looks sooo good and is everyone there!? It seems like everyone's there just from what I've saw on tumblr but I don't remember seeing steph? Please say alfred is there!?

random side note just cuz you like jonny there's DC fear state coming out over fall and scarecrow is the main villian messing s*it up in Gotham and the batfam, I ain't gonna be reading that for a while tho cuz I've put a cap on comic purchasing because I'm making myself broke 😅 but it looks quite cool tbh

Dude I love that you have no chill with the asks omg xD Its so great, I get so excited when I see you do it hahaha

2. Do you like the arrowverse if so what's your fav show? (Mines flash but legends is so so chaotically lit it's a dumpster fire of awesomeness highly recommend that even tho they did my fav kinda dirty they had no need to do that to her but hey) Same, my fav is Flash, tho Im not caught up at all/havent caught up since like mid to late season 4, I got too busy during college and I was kinda getting bored with it, but now that Bart is in it, it makes me wanna watch it again! It was also before I got super into DC so Im sure Id love it even more now. I actually havent fully seen the others, just some episodes here and there and the Crisis crossovers! LoT looks like a chaotic lovable mess though, Ive heard that several times xD Who is your fav that they did dirty?

5. Fav character(s)? I mean its me so I can never chose just one xD Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Gar Logan/Beast Boy, Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, and Edward Nygma/Riddler are my all time favs!

15. Dark trinity or trinity? Dark trinity as in the 2nd Red Hood and the Outlaws? (Jason, Bizarro and Artemis ) Then def dark trinity haha, I love those 3 misfits so much omg

17. Teen titans or Young Justice? AHH this is soooo hard omg. Like the shows or comics or groups in general?! Like imma go with Young Justice show but Teen Titans overall. They overlap though soo

18. Fav animated show and/ or movie? (BTAS is supreme to me lol) Ahh I actually seen all of BTAS! Ive just seen the first couple episodes and seen random ones here and there but like know everything about it xD Hmmm, for show I gotta go with the Young Justice cartoon, and animated DC movie, a tie between Justice League vs. Teen Titans and Justice League Dark: Apokolips War (the Damirae ahhhh). Though oooh also Under the Red Hood is also a classic and Jasonnnn

22. Fav Robin! ( this is so hard but also not I feel like dick gets it just cuz he was the first ) Ahaha I knew you would say Dick!!!! xD I was gonna ask and be like, its Dick isnt it xD This is like the hardest question ever oh my goodness. While they have all been my fav at point point, Jason and Tim have like been tied for first for the last couple of months. Like I love them both so freaking much. But if I absoltly HAD to chose one, ahhhhh, im going to have to go with Jason, Im so sorry Tim D: But Jason's character is just so complex in every version and his comics are sooo good(tho I love Tim's Red Robin ones too) his arc as a character is just SO interesting to me and his constant battle with himself and how far he fell from being robin and its all so sad but makes such a good character ahhhh

31. Do you like the character of the joker? Ahaha, this one is hard/I have mixed feelings. I have always liked him as villain even before my Batman obsession (and of course use to say he was my fav dc villain hahaha) and tbh I still think he is a pretty darn good villain and there is a reason he is so popular, even though he is an abusive piece of poop. Id like him a LOT more if he didnt abuse Harley so much tbh. And I think DC over uses him waaaaayyy too much, though I do like every version of him, excluding Leto's version, and think the acting is always amazing. So yeah, I guess I do like him but he isn't my fav, but I can appreciate him and his pop culture impact and how good he is as a truly evil unhinged villain who is interesting to watch.

38. Who do you think is the most over looked and under used character? TIM DRAKE!!!!!!!! And Riddler!!!!!!!!!!!

51. Justice League or League of Assassins or Justice League Dark? Gotta go with the classic justice league man

And ahhhh yes you have to read Wayne Family Adventure, its pretty much literal perfection. Here is the official link if you need it! https://www.webtoons.com/en/slice-of-life/batman-wayne-family-adventures/list?title_no=3180&page=1 It comes out every thursday! (tho you can pay to read ahead a few weeks) But yes, Steph is in it too! Her and Tim were being the disasters they are <3 And yes, Alfred is freaking great in it omgggg, you will love him in the 2nd one ahhh

Oooooh, I didnt know that!!!!(its soo hard to keep up with dc comics omgggg) I thought I heard something about that the other day but didnt know what it was/anything about it! Thanks so much for telling me!! I hope they release it digitally on DC Infinite!!!! Cause sameeee

[shhh-no-ones-home]

skeleton key slash x reader

+++++++++ i wanted something cute and fluffy but ive been in a mood lately so here ya go lol, its kinda cute and fluffy but starts a little disconnected and stand-offish

i edited this but if i missed anything sorry lol

Song: ill always be around by waterparks

tag list: @cynic-spirit @satans-arse @slashscowboyboots @smokeandmirrorz +++++++++

i sat against the wall of the dressing room and swirled the unopened bottle of beer against the tile floor in front of me. it made a mesmerizing sound as the glass scraped against the linoleum. it was the only thing really keeping my attention. it had been a rough couple of days and i wanted nothing more than to feel normal again.

i watched slash slide down the wall out of my peripherals, hearing him sigh as he hit the floor with his full weight. we sat in silence until i broke my trance, opening the bottle finally, i just stared down into it. slash cleared his throat but i didnt look at him.

"You okay?"

He asked, nudging my arm with his elbow. I took a quick swig of my beer, making a sour face at the taste.

"As okay as I usually am."

I sighed out.

"So not very?"

He asked, sending me a look. I looked over at him and shrugged.

"I'm sure things could be better but I'm living life one day at a time."

He shook his head.

"That's no way to live."

i sighed again, taking another drink.

"is it ever?"

he hummed.

"well no, but whats been up lately? you haven't really seemed like yourself."

i took another swig.

"havent i?"

i asked, raising a brow quickly. he frowned at me.

"none of us think so. the rest of the guys have noticed it too. you arent the same as you were a week ago."

i sighed, dropping my head back into the wall and looking to the ceiling.

"im lost."

he looked a little confused.

"youre lost?"

i looked over at him, watching his hair as it fell into his face.

"i dont know, my mood just tanked all of a sudden. i have no drive, i dont want to do anything. the only reason im here is because i have to be."

he tried to examine my face but i was on the whole expressionless.

"you couldve stayed on the bus, not that it wouldve helped, but you couldve."

i let out a short laugh, bringing the beer bottle to my lips.

"i thought getting out wouldve made an impact, ya know, keep myself busy to forget about it."

He nodded.

"it didnt."

I said and he sighed out, pinching the bridge of his nose. i looked back ahead of me, staring at the wall. we sat in silence for a bit until he shot up, drawing my attention and looking at him like he was crazy. he offered his hand to me.

"come on."

he said, more chipper now. i raised a brow.

"what?"

he shook his hand, wanting me to take it.

"come on, get up. we're going on an adventure."

i drew my brows before reluctantly taking his hand, setting my beer on the ground where i was just sat.

"where are we going?"

i asked as he pulled me out of the room and into the hall.

"It a surprise, but you have to come along to find out, thats why its an adventure."

i followed closely behind him, still unsure about the situation he was dragging me into. he walked comfortably down the hallway, looking from room to room as we went. i just watched him, trying to figure out what he was really after as we moved further into the venue. he nodded to the venue workers as we passed them, his grip on my hand getting tighter, making it known to them that we were attached. he relented as he ducked under pipelines and around mic stands. suddenly i was forced into someone.

"hey! watch where youre going!"

i heard as i looked up with wide eyes. in front of me was a large bald man with a stern gaze and i suddenly realized i was no longer tethered to slash. i looked to my suddenly empty hand in panic before looking back up the man.

"whats your deal?"

he asked, harshly. i looked around but the curly mess of hair was nowhere to be found. i breathed deeply.

"do you speak or are you just here to get in the way?"

the man said a bit louder. i jumped.

"no, i, i, uh-"

i stuttered out. he looked like he was waiting for an answer.

"you just gonna stand there looking stupid with your hand in the air or are you gonna move out of my way?"

he grunted out. then my hand got snatched away from me and i looked to slash with relief.

"sorry dude, i guess i lost my girl."

he apologized, pulling me to him. the man watched us as slash led us away from the man.

"keep her on a leash or something! i dont have time for road blocks!"

he called after us. slash waved his hand in the air.

"will do man."

he said before looking at me like 'yeah right' and making me giggle. slash looked around before ducking into an empty room.

"dude i thought id lost you there for a second. i saw one of the crew and went to squeeze your hand and i realized youre hand wasnt in mine anymore."

he let out a nervous laugh.

"it looks like i found you just in time though cause that dude looked like he meant business."

i nodded in agreement.

"yeah that was kinda scary."

we both laughed a little at the situation.

"but i found this place."

he said excitedly. i looked around, it was dimly lit but the furniture looked much better than the dressing rooms we were in. part of me wondered if it had been an office at one point but was now a storage room. i looked up as the light flickered overhead.

"spooky."

i said happily, raising my brows at him.

"well, im glad you like it cause i set this up for us."

i drew my brows as he took my hand again and led me around the bulky couch in the middle of the room. my mouth dropped at the layout of food, wine, and candles on the floor; all of it arranged on top of a black blanket.

"where did you get all of this?"

i asked, a bit shell-shocked. he half smiled at me, rubbing his arm.

"Well, i noticed youve been down for a bit and wanted to do something nice. i also figured we had a decent amount of time before the show starts so i went out and got this stuff earlier with a little help from duff and he helped me set it up. all i had left to get was you."

i could feel tears stinging my eyes. no one had really ever done anything this nice for me before and it made my heart ping. He really new what to do to make me feel better, he always did. i sent him a smile before pulling him in for a hug. he held me tightly to him, burying his face into my neck.

"thank you, slash, it means a lot."

i whispered against him. he pulled away and helped me sit.

"i wasnt sure exactly what you would like but we asked the lady at the shop down the street what she would want and thats just kinda what we got."

he said bashfully. i leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly.

"its great. really. it is."

i reassured as he started pouring two glasses of wine. he cleared his throat as he handed me one of the glasses.

"i, uh, also had a question for you while we're here."

he looked down at the blanket, and i almost thought i saw a small blush on his face but it was hard to tell in the low light.

"ask away."

i said raising  the glass to him in cheers and taking a sip. i watched as he swirled the liquid around in his own glass.

"well, i was wondering, if maybe youd want to go on a date with me. like officially."

i smiled widely at him.

"id love that."

he gladly returned the smile.

"great! i mean i know weve kind of gone on a date before but it wasnt legit, and yes i kind of blame axl for ruining that one-"

i laughed a little bit, shaking my head.

"lets call it a trial run."

i said, making him laugh too.

"well then i already feel more comfortable."

he clinked his glass against mine in cheers.

"same here."

i took a sip before setting the glass down and resituating to sit with my legs crossed under me.

"now, lets see what that lady made you buy."

i joked, prompting him to move the little basket he had acquired closer to me.

"dont blame me if its terrible."

he said through a laugh. i sent him a warm smile.

"thanks for this slash, you really know how to make a girl feel better."

he nodded.

"no, i know how to make you feel better, and i wouldnt have it any other way."

it was my turn to blush, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks at his words.

"im glad you have the thing that opens the door to my emotions or else this tour would be much harder."

i noted, taking a small box out of the basket and setting it next to me. he snorted.

"like a skeleton key to your happy place."

he said. i nodded.

"exactly!"

he laughed a little bit before taking another sip of his wine.

"you have no idea how happy that makes me."

he said, leaning back in his spot. i leaned over, close to him.

"the feeling is mutual."

i said lowly, watching his eyes flicker to my lips.

"can i kiss you?"

he whispered out, looking back to my eyes. i nodded. his hand found its way to my face, caressing my cheek gently. like a slow motion film, he moved forward, it felt like every anticipation building inside me before our lips finally met. it was soft and warm and he tasted like the wine. when he pulled away i felt like my home had been ripped from me and i missed it immediately.

"cant wait for that date."

he laughed out and i couldnt help the amused look on my face.

"likewise."

[ask-the-party-god]

Ask The Party God - Timeline

hi hi! as i mentioned earlier, i wanted to talk about my specific timeline so you guys are more or less aware of my situation when sending asks! thats me up there! the best doggy girl around ;o

as far as i am aware, theres not much of a difference between mine and... other timelines as far as the game goes! we beat sburb, we arrived to earth-c, we settled down, you know! the usual! i have my tower on a nice island, but its so far away from everything i barely go there, its... lonely!

i have a smaller house in the troll kingdom though! its a bit on the outskirts and like ten minutes away from dave and karkats, but i still crash at theirs or roses or roxys or johns way more often... X) its pretty standard all things considered, but i do have a bit of a basement lab to mess around with some side-projects of mine!

that aside... lets see...

thats john! my lovely ecto-bro! :D hes been a bit down in the dumps for a while so i try to cheer him up and keep him company <3 he lives in the outskirts of the human kingdom bordering with the consort kingdom, in a little mixed village... recently hes started to grow his hair out a bit too! i swear its just laziness so he doesnt have to take care of that messy mane, but i do think itd look cuter longer sooo...

he doesn’t... do much, which is why i have been trying to cheer him up and be around lately! he’s a bit more active at least and talks with the others, but i do wanna encourage him more >:/

5/8/20 edit: thats june egbert, my adorable ecto-sis whom i adore so so so so very much!!! weve been hanging out a bunch since her latest birthday!

shes been doing a lot better! more energetic, more open about the things that worry her... i only wish her the best of the best for the future, and im sure well be having lots of fun together from now on! :D

of course theres dave and karkat!!! they live together in the troll kingdom and have the moooost adorable domestic life i have ever seen, swoooon~ that being said theyre two awkward bottoms that couldnt realize their feelings even if they wrote a heartfelt love letter to each other and read it aloud, soooo its a... work in progress! i have tried nudging things along but thats an even worker in progresser, whoops

they also dont do much other than laze about most of the time, but dave has some creative side-projects with music and art that he shows me from time to time!

rose and kanaya maryam-lalonde!!! two absolutely lovely ladies whom i looove very very much! ;o their place is at the carapace kingdom, but kanaya spends a good deal of time in the brooding caverns as the matriarch of the troll race! i helped them install a transportalizer to speed things up so they have more time for each other, if you catch my drift ;)

about a year ago or so, rose got really sick for a short while, but she recovered and has been her usual lovely self since! since that scare though, they have been considering the idea of expanding their family! they could adopt of course, but they wanna try other stuff first! i occasionally help kanaya at the caverns with ectobiology machinery trying to find a way to properly mix troll and human genes, but its not exactly... easy

those are jane and jasprose! janes technically my mom but ive always seen her as a sort of cousin! we dont chat much but shes not bad! jasproses... well, you know! a wild kitty girl that knows how to have fun, hehehe, i hang out with her far more than my doggy alignment would have you know! ;o

a while back jane seemed pretty serious about running for office, and maybe because rose was in a bad spot or something, but jasprose started to pop up more and more often in public, and specifically messi around with jane? eventually she seemed to just lose interest in politics entirely and, while they havent said anything officially, i heard the cheshire cutie pops over by janes way too often to be just friendly visits ;o

roxy and callie!!! both of them came as non-binary around the same time, probably after talking it out for a while! hehe, rox has got that strider style going, and callie has been wearing their old wig more often in public! roxy and i have been messing around with their old lab equipment trying to give callie a fun surprise, but as it turns out messing around with basic biology with tech made to be used by 13 years old requires a looooot of tinkering... maybe some time?

i love them a bunch! theyre not really together i dont think so? but im pretty sure theyre more than just good friends that live together! im pretty sure callies still experimenting with identity and labels so, i wont pry really!

two cool dudes~ jake and dirk are nice, dirks a bit shy but ive gotten him to open up about robotics and we talk from time to time! jakes pretty much like jane, i pretty much see him as my cousin! we go hiking around from time to time in the weekends im not busy doing other stuff! :B

dirk got really concerned about rose when she had her episode, but dave helped him keep his cool about whatever was going down, and they hang out about once a month or so! also i was never sure whether dirk and jake USED to be dating or are STILL dating or whatever but, hey, much like with rox and callie, im not gonna pry!

tereziiiii :( shes away from earth-c plundering the corpse of paradox space! we barely see her but we keep in contact and send her supplies out into the furthest ring!

we worried for a bit that she was focusing too much on vriska and harming herself being out there, we kind of made it work in the end! some of our other friends are still out there and theres the possibility of finding some weird remnant of a timeline or something, so she keeps watch in case she can guide someone still living or trapped back to safety... and in the meantime she keeps watch for vriska, too, of course- ugh, i sorta just wish she got back already, im sure her being around would also encourage john to be more active! but as long as shes safe...

davepeta!!! the coolest cat around B) ive not... seen them in person since our little encounter near the green sun, but, terezi bumped into them a while back and sent a selfie! i dunno what theyre doing out there, but they mentioned about popping by earth-c eventually, sooooo, weve been holding onto a welcome celebration for a few months now!

and i think thats all? uuuh, if i can think of anything else i will add it, and you guys can ask me anything that wasnt clear or to elaborate on other stuff! hope this gives all of you a better picture of whats been going on in my life! :p

[normal-thoughts-official]

Ok a more specific prompt, coffee shop au with Malec and claia 😌

this is nowhere near specific and you damn well know it, anon. i appreciate u trying to find an excuse to throw coffee shop aus everywhere, tho. keep doing the lord's work even if i will inevitably twist the prompt

Magnus works at a small, local coffee shop as a barista. It's not exactly his #1 job choice, but it pays better than big chain coffee shops and he needs that to pay rent now that he officially left his abusive father's home for good. Also, he is kind of a coffee enthusiast and the owner, Ragnor, lets him go wild with making up new drinks and ingredients, as long as he still does his job.

All in all it's a good job and he considers the old fart and the other barista, maia, to be like family. Ragnor frequently gives them coffee and Maia constantly teases him about being a "coffee scientist" whenever she catches him thoughtfully drinking from a cup and scribbling notes on his notepad, like some ancient being

His recipes are good, though, and he knows exactly where to get the best coffee beans for the best price. So their drinks are good, affordable, and can please everyone from the traditional "black coffee no sugar" exec to the teenager who wants more of a milkshake than actual coffee

As a result, the shop thrives, gets more popular, and gets more clients. So Ragnor decides to hire a new barista to help. Because he's secretly a sweetheart, he ends up hiring this broke college kid who just moved into town to get away from his kinda toxic family and has nowhere to go - and also doesnt have a single ounce of experience as a barista

It's not surprising; both Magnus and Maia share similar stories, with some abusive exes to spice up the mix, not to mention racism, biphobia, and, in Magnus case, male behavior standarts keeping most opportunities closed for them. So they're cool with that. Even if it means Magnus will have to be the one to teach him, because 1- Ragnor is a dick and assigned him to be Alec's special "tutor" as retribution for Magnus calling him "an old, heart of butter bastard"; 2- he's the one who's best qualified to teach him since he knows a lot about coffee and coffee making anyway; 3- Maia has no patience

Quick detour just to say that i love the maia/magnus brotp opportunities this gives. While Magnus is more of a coffee scientist as she puts it, Maia has an almost instictive understanding of drink making. Where Magnus is soft, she's fierce, and they make one hell of a team and are good at balancing one another. They bond over their experiences with abuse; while Magnus' has made him afraid to put his foot down and say what he wants and prioritize himself, Maia's has made her particularly wary of people and even less willing to take anyone's bullshit, and both of these coping mechanisms have their own effects on their psyche, and they're able to talk openly to each other about it. Maia is kind of protective of Magnus and vice-versa, though the way they protect each other is very different. They have an easy companionship and bantering dynamic that's easygoing and cute, theyre both passionate about their interests (Maia loves marine biology and even if Magnus doesnt know much about it he loves listening to her talk about it) and just generally have that kind of relationship where just smiling at each other makes a tough day seem lighter. Also Magnus loves making Maia laugh. Maia blatantly refuses to laugh at any of his self-deprecating jokes, tho, which has considerably diminished the amount of times he makes them

Anyway Alec comes in for his first day and Magnus is like [REDACTED] because shit this man is cute. Maia notices immediately and from then on the teasing doesn't stop

He's quick to recover, tho, and suddenly he's all smooth again (Maia says he's perfected his customer service persona to horror movie levels), quick to introduce himself and Maia to Alec and explain that he'll be training Alec for the next few weeks or so. He gives him a tour of the shop, explains the basics, and immediately launches into his slightly extra More Serious Than Strictly Necessary course on the makings and workings of coffee, from bean selection to ideal temperature and the chemistry behind the cooking.

This absolute dork even had a small table with some coffee made from different kinds of beans so Alec could taste them and learn the difference and Engage with the profession or some shit

Maia just rolls her eyes, thankful that she had prior experience before getting this job and didnt have to go through this

The first thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't like coffee. This is not a setback. Many people dont like coffee, but that's because they're used to regular powdered coffee instead of making it from the bean. Because the beans in powdered coffee arent previously selected, they are roasted harder than they should, so any beans that might have gone bad wont spoil the taste or make you sick. As a result, the coffee is way too bitter and doesn't have a discernible taste. He explains all of this enthusiastically to a slightly overwhelmed Alec, and gets on to making him try the samples so he can feel the difference.

Here's the second thing he learns about Alec: Alec doesn't feel the difference

Despair. Horror. Offense.

Alec even kind of chuckles and goes "sorry" at the face he makes, and a not-pouting Magnus goes on with the planned explanation on bean selection

Third thing he learns about Alec: he's a quick study. Everything he lacks in sensibility to the amazing world of bean juice, he makes up for in his careful attentiveness to the instructions. He is also a strict recipe-follower and makes sure he always uses the exact amounts required. He's an absolute perfectionist. He listens to Magnus' explanations on how to know if the taste is right, to look for color and texture of the mix. Magnus tries his simple coffees and only needs a few corrections to send him on the right path

The first time Alec makes him something more complicated to try (per his request) Magnus wants to die

It's so good

Scratch that, it's perfect

This soulless motherfucker doesn't even like coffee and this is the single best version of whatever crazy frapuccino shit they're making magnus has ever tried

He kind of bursts from the kitchen (?) all like MAIA YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS just in time to interrupt her chatting with this redhead new customer with shiny eyes. Maia is leaning all the way across the counter. What is this

Maia agrees that it's very good but again he's not as passionate about coffee and Magnus just interrupted what would have been a really smooth number-giving move so she's not feeling all that generous

Alec just laughs at that. His eyes are shining with amusement and he's very, very pleased that Magnus likes his stuff

It's not a big secret, really; mixing drinks is kind of like patisserie in the sense that the measures need to be exact to achieve the best taste and texture. He follows the recipe to a fault, it turns out good. That's why he's better at the more complicated, instagram-y drinks than the simple coffee types

Alec "graduates" his training pretty soon after that and Ragnor is very pleased

He gets along well with both Magnus and Maia, even if he's more quiet and sometimes catches himself just laughing at the two of them interact; their friendship is something else. But he also gets to hear a "shut up" from Maia after not saying absolutely anything when the redhead walks in again the very next day

The redhead always comes in a little late in the morning, so its always slow. As a result, they get to pretend to be minding their own business as they hear the two of them chat and oof is the romantic tension between them something. Maia glares at them once the girl - Clary - leaves every time, but it doesn't stop them

Soon Maia is calling them "no-good gossiping grandmas" because of the way Magnus and Alec will go to the back and pretend to be making something while they keep a whispered running commentary on what the girls are talking about. This quickly turns into some sort of race to see who can make the other break and laugh out loud. Neither of them ever do (they are trying to be discreet and Maia would kill them) but oftentimes they need to cover their mouths with their hands and playfully slap each other for the teasing

Clary doesn't even realize she's the reason; she kind of just thinks they are constantly flirting on the back and briefly wonders how they havent been fired when all they do is whisper and make eyes at each other

Not that she has any room to talk when she's late to work everyday because she keeps cracking jokes with the cute curly haired barista with the most beautiful lopsided smile who always makes her laugh and tells her about her day while she drinks her coffee. She's lucky her work starts at 10 so she can go in a little later and doesnt have to be there during rush hours, but still

She doesnt even like coffee, she walked in one day cuz she was really tired and then just kept coming in the hopes that the barista would make a move on her (shes not gonna do it herself, at least not in her workplace. She doesn't want to make her uncomfortable and it's still unclear whether the girl is flirting or if shes just really nice)

At some point she and Maia even start sharing knowing looks to Alec and Magnus and laughing at them. They don't even notice, because their designated Making Fun Of Maia time turned into just cracking jokes at each other way too quickly. They don't even remember there are other people there

Maia does finally ask clary out eventually. She wasn't exactly nervous about doing it, it's more that she enjoyed their little routine. But enough is enough, and when their routine starts involving Clary giving her a quick kiss before placing her order, well, it just makes it better

Magnus and Alec coo every time

Eventually Maia snaps all like "why are you guys the one poking fun at me when im the one who made a move instead of being a coward"

Magnus is all like "Whatever could she possibly mean??"

It dawns on him when hes closing up the next day and Alec has already left. He has a crush on Alec. Oh god. Oh fuck

Maia helpfully says "idiot" and leaves

Some Magnus being very nervous and overthinking his relationship with Alec who's all like ???????? about this

Alec goes to his sister about his new crush who suddenly started acting weird and izzy is all like "stop trying to guess what he's thinking because you're terrible at this. Just tell them how you feel" and Alec is like okay

He asks Magnus out

Everyone is happy and gay idk the end

✨ feel free to use this and any other one of my posts as a prompt ✨

[kim-isnt-seaweed]

April 7-19

The last two weeks were eventful to say the least.

On Sunday 7th T and i went to Jamsil to view the cherry blossoms. It was crowded as it is every year and as is anything remotely popular here in Korea, but this time instead of complaning about it as i usually do when im in a crowd i had a thought.

-i had already shared it on instagram but i want to do it here too-

The crowds at the cherry blossom festivals are no joke, they're always flowing with people something that would usually make me not want to go but this time around I noticed something that made me change the way I saw the crowds. If you think about it, aside from being pretty cherry blossoms aren't that special, they're also fairly common at least on this side of the world, it's a bit mundane, to be honest. But that's the thing, these crowds of people are gathering around a tree because it's pretty, I don't know about you but that's very heartwarming to me. Not to be that person, but in the time we live in we have thousands of distractions, and technology made to take us out of our own reality, so the fact that we actually take time out of our busy lives to not only look at but to take our families, friends or even a date to look at them together is such a wholesome act. We go see them without expecting anything from them, not expecting them to give us something (aside from air) we simply go because they are, because they're there and pretty and their doing what they naturally do, better yet, nothing is expected from us to go see them, we don't need to do anything special, we don't need to give anything to see them, we can enjoy them just because we're alive, we happen to be near them and we're humans that like pretty things. When you think about this, the crowds don't seem so bad anymore.

Romantazing the small things is something Studio Ghibli is great at doing and i wish i did more.

__

Monday i went to get my visa renewed and it was upsetting. Because of a mistake of the official (he called my number before he even finised with the previous people) i had to wait for an hour until he finished because somehow other officals couldnt see me if my number had been called by someone else. Thus i was late to all my classes and it stressed me out so much,i had scheduled my visa appointment weeks in advanced on a day i didnt have classes, but my boss scheduled classes on that day the week before and thete was nothing i could do anymore. 😔

Saturday 13th i met three girls that are in similar situations as i am, forgeiners married to Korean men and that are relatively lonely. I am the oldest and the one that has been here the longest, two of them have been here for a year maximum and one has been here only since January, it was her first time in Hongdae. It was strange how they were so suprised at how much Korean i can speak, because i honestly dont think i can speak much at all. Anyway, it was so nice to be around friends, my friends, it was nice to talk and laugh comfortably without worrying about forgeting to speak formally, or forgetting how to say something or if im being understood. It was also nice to talk about our lives as a expats and the cultural diffrences in being married 1. So young 2. With men that are a bit older than us 3. From an entirely different culture. I loved hanging out with them and i hope we can become close.

Oh i want to mention that one of the girls went to my school for a year back in elementary Like that was ages ago and she only went for a year, and we weren't even in the same classroom. Yet somehow she met her now husband while studying abroad in australia and she still remembered me (i didnt ) Although we do have several people we know in common haha

Last week i had a mental breakdown which i havent had in a while and boy did i not miss them. My headaches returned and the creepy guy incident happened.

On friday it was our second wedding anniversary, we didnt do much since we had no time and because we honestly didnt know what to do even if we had time haha we arent romantic. So T bought a cake and we ate it while watching T and i did my nails for his cousins wedding haha.

And this(last) weekend we went to my FIL's hometown of Geoje island for said wedding but that deserves a post of its own haha

[sakuurae]

wonder years; preview

» summary: Two years passed since Taeyong made it to a celebrity status. As time flew by, so did the distance between you two, marking the relationship with each other as good as strangers. Before he left, a promise was made when you were both young, and after those two long years he came back with intentions to fulfill it.

❀ pairing: celebrity!taeyong & reader insert || childhood friends!au

❀ includes: fluff, light angst

❀ wc: 2.2k for this preview !

❀ note: This fic will be complete fluff except for some ... minor angsty parts, hahaha. I havent written something like this (a hearty fic) on this current blog, so itll be a little different and i hope the finished product will be as enjoyable for you all as it was for me : ) The final product is estimating to be 20k~ words, give or take ... hahaha.

But heres a small preview for now ! It might seem abruptly cut off but i had to do it there since the rest would reveal how the rest of the story will probably go ! Haha. I also havent written anything in a while ... so forgive me if this isnt my prime adfgfkhgl

Im also still not used to putting ‘sakuurae’ on covers hah this is a sign to go back to ‘honeytaeyong’ huh ... lmaooo

Lee Taeyong was the cynosure of attention these days—well, months to be exact. He had risen to stardom expeditiously, and even the media was barely able to keep up alongside his worldwide activities. From country to country he had partnerships and photoshoots; filmings for commercials and parties by other celebrities on the top of the unspoken hierarchy. Deeming him as a busy man was an understatement, and honestly he strongly despised it. Taeyong missed his old, placid life more often than he should, almost as if he never had a peaceful life when he was young and the thought of a calm way of living was a dream he longed for. In fact, his past was seemingly clouded by a grey haze, for he could no longer remember what the sweet taste of fast food was like or even the feeling of spare time in his hands. Rather, the world was entering his grasp as power and fame creeped into his hands, but, of course, great power and fame came little choices—and it was far too late for Taeyong to escape.

Believe it or not, you had known the rising star Taeyong longer than anyone in the showbiz world had ever. Since you were six, and you had film photos as concrete evidence. Every time you saw his face on the screen and not on your hung picture frames you felt proud, happy for your friend; however, there was another sentiment that loomed desolation upon you. Due to Taeyong’s newfound hustle and bustle lifestyle, the messages and calls he would give you became rare—almost as if you were a fan whose luck was tested for a surprise call from his or her favourite celebrity. Needless to say, that disrupted the friendship and you were unsure if Taeyong and you were still as close as before. And the term “close” to describe your old friendship was too subtle.

Recalling the way you met Taeyong was easy, especially since the encounter was unforgettable. During recess when you were six years old you were on the field picking at dandelions to take home, in the distance you heard a boy yell incomprehensible words towards you. Once you looked up, a soccer ball went straight at your face, knocking you over to the grass. As ugly sobs spilled, a teacher accompanied you to the nurse’s office who only gave you a frozen bag of ice and the two empty words of “It’s okay.” The bump that formed on your head was sticking out protrudently so that the slightest touch made you wince in pain. Thinking about the rude boy at the time, you were furious, telling yourself you will never forgive him. But those silent swears were kept to yourself once the same young child that accidentally kicked the soccer ball to your face sneaked into the nurse’s office to release a string of apologies. Tears were prickling at his eyes as if he was the one who got physically hurt and not you, sniffles were not enough to prevent the upcoming sobs, and he was a nervous wreck. You glared at him in annoyance, aching to push him out of the office—maybe even punch—but before you committed to any actions he mumbled, “I’m really sorry.”

Those three words caught your attention; they were more genuine than the nurse who told you your injury was not as bad as you believed, as a result you stared at the flustered kid who kept on saying sorry. Each time you remained silent, tension thickened in the room. Silence ensued as you remained angry, and caused the boy to spit out, “Can I make this up to you somehow?”

Puffing your cheeks out, you declined and left the nurse’s office to sit in the front. That day you thought it was the last you would ever see Taeyong, but the next day he came into your class before lunch break with a can of soda in hand and another apology. Taeyong trailed you for a couple of minutes once lunch started; he took a seat next to you and offered you some carrots as if the item was a token of forgiveness, and you smiled at his gesture. That day you forgave him, and a friendship had formed. Instead of lingering around his friends, Taeyong spent time lingering by you around the slides of the play structure daily. That continued for a long while until junior high, where you would sit at the same table and chat the respite away childish drama.

You used to patronize his home when you were still young, accepting the love and affection from his family as if you were one of their own from day one, and he committed to the same—given the rare times your parents were both home. Since elementary to junior high, all throughout high school, you and Taeyong attended the same school and spent practically everyday pestering one another for fun. After racing to the nearby park where the loser would have to purchase an icy treat, the two of you always sat down on neighboring slides in the play structure and informed each other about the boring day. The closeness was perceptible to everyone: students, teachers, and strangers. Many assumed the guy named Taeyong was your boyfriend, and subsequently raw shock was their reaction when you both denied the claims.

The thought of you dating Taeyong never crossed your mind until he started to drift away from you after high school graduation. There had to be something more than those races and hang outs that were able to be passed off as dates. Half a day was spent next to him typically, which made the week incomplete if failed to do so. You spent an incredible amount of time by his side, and you wondered why Taeyong and you never became an official item. Of course there was something more than a friendship—even if it was never spoken of, an attraction was active. But nothing changed. Often, you wondered if there was such thing as being too close to the point dating was out of the spectrum?

With his burst of fame, gone were the days of you and Taeyong constantly visiting each other’s houses and eating meals together as a complete family, sneaking into his bedroom through his window to finish one new series on Netflix, and subsequently crawling out through the artful entrance to spend the night out in the town. Once Taeyong was able to drive the nights became longer, and rather than freezing in the cold, situated on the park swings struggling to stutter words through the gelid air, you and Taeyong rested in the back seat of his vehicle and talked about all the stupid things in life. Annoying teachers, petulant drama, and words that reflected a broken heart poured from the lips and strengthened the bond. And sometimes when life became too much, a silence by him was all you needed.

Whenever you gawked at Taeyong at three in the morning, tired eyes fighting to remain open, you recalled how he used to be: physically and mentally. The boy who used to have black hair longer than most, a frown etched on his face to convince the universe he was tough, and an array of flannels had transformed into a man that flaunted an extended quiff and a sparkling smile by senior year. Of course you were not the only being who noticed the distinct change; that was how he was scouted to become the successful man he was today.

The night Taeyong told you he had a couple of auditions for minor roles in movies surprised you; in fact, you never suspected such a day would come so soon. You see, Taeyong was always partaking in theatre activities on-campus and off-campus. He earned thespian awards since he began acting extremely merituous, and soon his name was featured on articles and local news. He was the best of the best, and everyone knew. So once he booked a flight out of the country to fulfill his dream, not many were surprised.

However, before Taeyong had left to fulfill his dreams, he made a promise to you: to be able to make you the happiest in the future. It wasn’t like he pledged to marry you in the future or take your hand accompanied by all the love he could spill; he wanted you to be happy alongside him as friends because life at the time was rough. Stress arrived like no other due to testing and college applications. The struggle to maintain nonpareil grades became a competition—the factor that determined the winner of a four year battle to gain valedictorian. Not only, but you and Taeyong were active participants in on-campus and off-campus theatre. Needless to say, you were both incredibly busy—and as all the stress from family and school accumulated, and so much more, the light that was joy had dissipated throughout the years. With parents kept entirely busy committing to their own service, you never had time to see them, which resulted in the element of trust falling short to speak to them about your issues. Taeyong was the only friend you trusted entirely—your heart and mind craved to vent to him whenever something went wrong—and he felt your pain the more you cried out to him in the middle of the night.

To the insane degree that Taeyong cared for you, everything was given to why he promised to make you happy.

His journey to fame was a long process sprawled throughout two years; nonetheless, Taeyong’s name was finally circulating the world like wildfire. Media wanted to feed off his fresh talents and looks, and other celebrities obtained an interest in the dashing man. Event after event, Taeyong was the name that hopped off everyone’s tongue. Acting modernly in prominence, he became closer to fans and created bonds with strangers, and despite Taeyong becoming closer to the whole entire world, the distance was growing rapidly between you two.

⭒ ⭒

The morning was busier than normal at the corner coffee shop you worked at—especially for a Tuesday morning. Most customers tended to be among the range of adults to elderly, but on this specific day there seemed to be clusters of young teenagers, each ordering the most aesthetic drinks from the menu. There was definitely going to be a boost in sales thanks to the younger group, so there had to be a reason for their spontaneous visit. The shop was extremely packed to the point you had no room to think of extra thoughts like those; all you were able to do was focus on drinks. Since the shop is on the compact side and cozier than most, gossip was simple to overhear.

“Did you see him yet?” said an excited girl who was balancing herself on her tiptoes.

Her friend seemed to shake her head, replying, “No, are you sure the tweet was true?”

“It had to be,” said another girl who was a stranger to the two. “It’s from an official news source.”

“Then where is he?” mumbled someone else.

Holding the tea shaker in hand, you stared at the cluster of curious girls, wondering who and what exactly they were referring to. A bump came to your hips from a fellow co-worker who wanted to snap you back to work, your trail of thought ended. “Focus, (y/n),” he ordered.

“Sorry, Ten,” you muttered, continuing to align the cup for the proper order. “Focusing is hard when there’s a bunch of loud customers.”

Ten laughed in agreement. “Apparently it’s because some celebrity is in town.”

“Did you read that from the tweet as well?” you jested, pouring the iced tea into the clear cup.

“Maybe.” He grinned while topping off his order with whipped cream. “I don’t even know what celebrity would have any business here. This town’s tiny, dingy, and quiet. The person’s changing everything.”

Chuckling, you capped the tea and went to the opposite end of the counter. “Kick the person out your town, Ten.” Reading the side of the cup, you read the black marker aloud, “Two large passion fruit iced teas for Johnny!”

The customer approached the counter and grabbed the drinks and grinned at you before reaching onto two straws. Before you were able to offer him a cup holder, he answered a call on his bluetooth and continued onto his day. “Hello, Tae?” said Johnny, who was clad in a casual outfit consisting of a white shirt tucked into black jeans. “Where are you?”

You stared at the man for a short while, the name that left his mouth lingering in your mind. “Tae,” you whispered. “God, the name reminds me of Taeyong.”

“Everything reminds you of Taeyong,” Ten poked fun, raising an eyebrow in a suggestive manner. “You sure the two of you weren’t some item or anything?”

Annoyed, you scoffed and brushed him aside to continue your busy morning at work. “Very funny.”

“Thanks.” Ten smiled. “My second job should probably be a stand-up comedian.”

[ktaebwi]

The Story of Smeraldo - The 8th Story

Original post KRN - ENG © ktaebwi / Naver Blog link

As ‘Flower Smeraldo’ shop is planned to open in mid September, I have been busy with planning for the custom clearance and method of delivery & storage for Smeraldo.

That’s why I couldn’t log into this blog for a while. So when I came back to check out as the event is ending soon, I saw that many people are interested in Smeraldo. Many participated in the event as well. Thank you everyone so much.

Actually today’s a very happy day for me. I received the first order!!

I went to the shop’s construction site at around noon and a handsome young man was peeking in and entered the shop. This sounds weird, but my heart jolted. It’s like I was meeting someone I knew for a long time but have been forgotten.

Truthfully, I wasn’t supposed to go to the construction site today, but somehow I wanted to go there from the morning, maybe it was to meet this person. I was kind of scared too, I don’t know, anyway it was weird.

An even more surprising thing is, the flower that this customer came to find was Smeraldo! He said he didn’t know this was a Smeraldo-specialized shop, he just came in as if something was luring him. This is fate, isn’t it? Ultimately, I received an order of Smeraldo from him. It’s the first official order in Korea!

▲ Delivery slip of the first order of Smeraldo in Korea I received from the customer. I haven’t got the shop’s delivery slips yet so I used the post-it note I took with me.

(Content: Smeraldo bouquet 1 Date of delivery: Late August (contact again later) Delivery address: Contact later Cash: ￦____ Contact: 010 ___ _____)

(The autograph is Jin’s autograph)

Actually, because of the heat these days, the supply and demand ​for Smeraldo isn’t easy.

So I told him that I probably wouldn’t be able to deliver it until the end of August, and after thinking for a while, he said that would be a perfect timing, so I was able to take the order without any problem. But looking at the expression of the customer when he said that, I knew it. It was his present for an important someone.

So I told him. “I want to give you a card with Smeraldo drawing, what would you like to be written on it?” He hesitated for a while and then wrote some sentences. What did he write? I can’t tell you that, since it was his personal matter. I asked him again. “But why must it be Smeraldo?” His answer was “Because I want to be a good person”. It must mean he wants to be “a good person” to the one who will receive the Smeraldo right?

After he left, I thought a lot about what happened long ago. What if I had told my sincere feelings like that customer? But obviously saying “what if” is meaningless. I lost her like an idiot, but I hope that customer would be able to deliver his sincere feelings and be happy.

The event is the same, it was created with the purpose of delivering people’s sincere feelings to those who mean a lot to them. It’ll end at 10PM tonight and the winners will be announced shortly. Please look forward to it. There were many stories sent here so it might take a while, please kindly understand.

[feverhalo]

Ok so. Big talky post about irl shit in all forms because why not & i feel bad leaving you all hanging so long on so much

Please dont r///ebl/////og and theres no pressure to read it or do anything in regards to this.

So. This covers like. So many topics. Grief and death and mental health being the biggest warnings for

Average news first. I still have my job and have been there officially for a year now! Pay rates are going up in my province, and thats a new solid reference should i need it any time soon. Theyre also beong really understanding and compromising(? Forgot theword i had originally) and letting me try new jobs/places to reduce stress

I found out yes, i am still allergic to peanut butter if the fact that i had really annoying stomach pain for h o u r s after eating a teeny tiny pb cookie is anything to go by. Didnt really pay attention to if i broke out on my sides or not because i was a little preoccupied with curling up tightly and feeling a little off the next day too. (I mean no duh what did i expect to happen but i mean. They smelled so good). Lesson learned.

Bad news

ive touched on but i dont think ever really said. Someone very very close to me passed in late summer and im still devistated and torn up and doing my denial/anger thing for the most part. Its. Not easy. But ive been going to see someone, admittedly its become a bit about everything when it was supposed to just be this, but i dont do death. When i was a kid and lost someone i shut down entirely and aside from angry outbursts and the occasional breakdown i tried my hardest to act like there was not and would never be a hole there. It didnt work well at all and im still affected by that person's passing too.

They were also one of the more supportive people in my life and i spent a lot of time reading and writing and creating in their company and its been hard.

And i know that im handling this a little better even though im still skipping out on things and blowing up and all the same sort of crap but i actually have a neutral space that wont feel marked or stained every day for processing and a neutral person to help.

And of course its not just grief im getting help with because its all kind of a tangled mess. But im also getting like. New insight on stuff and someone to talk to about whatever. And its making life quite a bit harder because im so used to blocking it out or locking myself away and letting things rush over and take over and run their course. Its been really hard to be creative because im incredibly self critical and having a lot more trouble focusing lately because of a lot of reasons.

Im stressed and overwhelmed a lot more easily and frequently right now. And i know im being distant even if it doesnt show. Im scared to kind of go along with this and open up and all that junk and now im being gently prodded to do so in short, honest (not just stuff i dont rly care about or stuff callously overshared to just pretend im being open) bursts its kind of freaking me out. But like. Itll all end up for something good i hope. Even though it feels awful right now and ive had stints of days or even a full week with supports on speed dial when i havent been able to calm down or shut off over thinking but thats- i mean i expect it. A lot is happening and ive known for years my coping strategies have been lacking.

Ive also been talking with this outside help and weve toyed with the idea of maybe i really do have add or at least my anxiety manifests similarly and its kind of a which came first- and this ties in to the next good part in a second- but i havent scheduled anything in my area for right now for those sorts of things but im still kind of getting new ideas from a different angle that might maybe help and if i dont then im learning things i still may be able to use. Either way its not a huge deal for the current moment and its a bit if trying to find compassion and acceptance for myself whether its thing a or b or neither but whatever

Good, great, best news!!

I have an in to starting the more physical process of transitioning. Like i have a day and a time and a start. Like really really really soon. Its going to be hard i know because im going to have to open up about things and will probably be told i have to wait until i can stablize a bit more- its been a lot happening in a short while. And i understand. I waited 2 years to hear from them, i waited a few years to reach out to them, and i unknowingly waited years to find new words that struck a chord and all that. So as long as its moving i can deal with the wait.

I have GOOD people (many i know and have known for years now who happen to work in an adjacent field, some who are new and yet to be met but have rly good references if that makes sense?) who are going to help me kind of navigate and understand and undo things i thought i learned that were honestly just veiled hate and scare tactic garbage. People who support me and dont push me past what i am comfortable with undergoing to "prove" anything (such as 'if you didnt do x right away youre lying/if you dont do y surgery first i wont believe you' kind of comments. I hope). Im looking into options and im so excited for it!!

Its going to involve a lot of talking about things and probably a lot i dont want to talk about just yet but its a great chance because it gets me officially connected and officially started and this place has more options than my town and more specialized crap that can detangle and work through all the connected things and it can all be lumped together as the same process and hopefully help financially that way- and time wise unbelieveably. Theres a very good chance ill be able to talk with someone there, and very likely that first appointment, who can help me understand why i work the way i do sometimes for whatever reason it is.

And im getting a lot of positivity and lessons like learning to give myself some slack where it matters and stuff like that. And that im not worthless or stained or going to rot other people- which is honestly uncomfortable for me to think because of how long ive thought the opposite. Like to think i may actually be pretty good like not pretend good and actually worth anything at all. Because i got stuck in bad thoughts since i was small.

Im also thinking on trying to go back to school because i have a lot i think about with nowhere to really put it and nothing to do which doesnt help me do the things i want to do. So maybe something like that would help because i like learning. I like the motions of it- writing and reading with intent to understand something new, the routine as much as i whined about it in highschool, the forced kind of proximity to people living apart from what i know entirely too so the world feels bigger in a tangible way. Thats on a back burner and waiting for sure! But the fact im thinking about it and happily thinking about it? I like that.

My life has been. Kind of a combination of bland as hell and busy if that makes sense. Ive had to sort of shut down outward productivity and cut down on things a bit because so much is going on, and im trying to do a lot as paced and as slowly as i can bear.

And even though im not Here here as much as i want to be and everything its just. Kind of time for this. And im so glad and happy that when i can be here i can see that people still like what ive done and theres always awesome content to see and yeah

Thanks for everything and checking in and i really really am looking forward to moving forward.