#and while i hated how they never held lapis accountable for her actions

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

toxic relationships: intentional vs romanticized

i want to talk about what makes a toxic ship intentional and what makes it romanticized, since a lot of spop fans claim that “of course Adora and Catra's relationship is toxic, they were enemies and they had a rough childhood”. however, it's clear that the writers of spop themselves don't consider this relationship toxic, or if they do, they think that the toxicity is sexy or romantic.

for comparison, let's take Jasper and Lapis from Steven Universe. this was a ship that was clearly written to be unhealthy. these were two characters who did not like each other in the slightest, who both had their own share of trauma that they never worked through and decided to form a fusion instead.

Jasper tries to coerce Lapis into forming a fusion with her, in order to help her defeat the Crystal Gems. Lapis is unwilling at first but later, she relents. whether she did this out of fear or because of her own anger towards the Crystal Gems is unclear at first.

Fusions in SU are a good way of visualising the nature of a relationship. if a relationship is healthy and stable, the fusion is stronger and can stay fused for longer periods of time. if the relationship is unhealthy, toxic or unstable, the fusion might break apart easily or have trouble functioning as one body.

fusions aren't strictly a romantic thing either, there had been a couple of platonic fusions in the series too, like Smoky Quartz or Steg. suffice to say, it was just a creative way to explore different dynamics between different people.

as expected, Lapis's and Jasper's fusion was not stable or healthy in the slightest. Malachite was the biggest fusion we had seen at that point in the series, and she looked more monstrous and unhinged than any of the other fusions we had seen prior.

it is at this point that Lapis reveals that she was just trying to keep Steven safe by fusing with Jasper and forcing the fusion to stay underwater with her.

even right after this scene, it's clear that the writers wrote Malachite as an intentional toxic ship because Garnet immediately remarks that those two gems were “not good for each other”.

after an undetermined period of time where Malachite stayed fused, and while Jasper got more and more angry and vengeful, Lapis got more and more exhausted of holding the fusion together; the Crystal Gems finally succeed in making the two unfuse.

there is some nuance to this ship too, because there wasn't just one person at fault. while Jasper was physically stronger than Lapis and she was the one who initially coerced Lapis into fusing with her, Lapis herself admits that she used their relationship to take out all of her anger and frustration. she admits to hurting Jasper in the process.

Lapis also admits that she misses Jasper, a sentiment that Jasper also seems to share as she tracks down Lapis to ask her to fuse with her again, promising that it would be better this time.

this is not uncommon in toxic relationships where the individuals get so used to the toxicity that they feel empty without each other. they would rather be in an unhealthy but familiar relationship than be alone. and this is the first time i've seen this sentiment be portrayed so realistically in a show. the fact that you can get away from someone who hurt you and still miss them and want them back is something that needs to be talked about.

Lapis does eventually reject Jasper's offer, saying that their relationship wasn't healthy. while i do have problems with how they suddenly made Lapis the victim afterwards (and her whole arc as a whole), i still think SU handled this ship really well.

it was an introspect into a toxic relationship, without romanticizing or sexualizing it, and without justifying Lapis's or Jasper's actions, even though they were both sympathetic characters on their own. they do kind of gloss over Lapis's role in this relationship later on, which i wasn't fond of but in the end, they made the right decision to not let this ship be canon.

this is how toxic relationships should be explored in media. without bias, without excusing or justifying a person's actions. whether the ship separates in the end or not is the writer's wish, but the framing is important.

whereas c//a is framed in a way that expects us to sympathize with Catra, to excuse her actions and to root for her to get with Adora. like Malachite, c//a was not healthy for Catra or Adora (although the conflict there was definitely more one-sided) but the writers of spop seems to think that a vague apology is enough for them to get into a stable relationship.

if you frame toxic behaviour as cute or romantic, your audience is going to accept that. fiction does greatly impact reality. and considering that spop is quote-unquote “a kid's show”, they have a responsibility to not send the wrong message to thousands of impressionable children.

this turned into more of an SU analysis than an SPOP critique post lol but since y'all already know why c//a is not like malachite, i trust i don't have to write more about that.

[woorenergy]

Why do you hate lapis lol???

i liked her at first, don't get me wrong!! i found her power cool and her backstory interesting, plus she has a nice chara design

i was starting to dislike her when she left Peridot behind but i was like "hey yeah that's trauma ig, she'll understand that she shouldn't have done that and will apologize :)"

1 she didn't apologize to Peridot (or anyone, really)

2 she was brought up for the fight against the Diamonds like "actually i changed my mind lol can i be on the team now???" and it felt soooo forced imo

3 she's never held accountable for the thing she's done, and the story makes everything easier for her. She doesn't need to learn from her mistakes, apologize, or face the consequences of her actions and that pisses me off so bad. compare that to how Pearl was treated when she lied to fuse with Garnet- the conflict went for a few episodes where she was trying to redeem herself while Garnet even refused to talk to her. You can think it was disproportionate, but her actions had consequences, at least

also the "i've felt worse" line is just. UGH shut the fuck up sasuke, we get it, you're edgy and interesting

she kinda reminds me of Catra in a way, it's just that Catra is way worse

[introvert-celeste]

I'm very late on asking this question but what makes the situation from Raising the Barn any different from the situation from Maximum Capacity since it had two characters(Lapis and Amethyst)guilt-tripping the other(Greg and Peridot)? I feel like I know the reasons why it seems different if we are going to bring up why Steven calls out amethyst, which I actually 100% understand but not Lapis despite both making shity actions but I want to hear your take on this because it's interesting to me.

Sorry, I tried to answer this ask a couple times but my computer kept lagging and erasing my progress rip. I think the greatest difference between the situation in Maximum Capacity and Raising the Barn is perspective, particularly Steven’s flawed perception of Lapis character.

In Maximum Capacity, Steven gets reasonably upset about what Amethyst did. Greg and Amethyst are his family, whom he’s known all his life. He knows them, he knows that Amethyst knows better, and he knows that Greg doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. As far as Steven’s personal (but justified) bias is concerned here are two ticks against Amethyst in this situation: she’s harassing his father and she’s mocking his mother. Keep in mind, this episode came well before he started questioning Rose’s character and even before the war itself was even mentioned, so he still viewed her as this mysterious, saint-like figure who could do no wrong. He got mad at Lars for calling Rose “weird” and he jumped into action when Amethyst shapeshifted into her.

Steven has a unique relationship with Lapis that is different from everyone else in the show. He really doesn’t know her very well, and what he does know is tragically sympathetic, and I think that’s where a lot of his poor judgement comes from. She was trapped in a mirror, the CGs never released her or even acknowledged her sentience, her gem was cracked, and she wanted to go home. Even before this, she was Steven’s “Beach Summer Fun Buddy” and his first introduction to a larger gem existence. Peridot, on the other hand, was a threat and an enemy from the very beginning, and while she has been a Crystal Gem for a significant amount of time, she’s still learning how to communicate effectively and be a good friend.

So, in the case of Raising the Barn–and every time Lapis has done something shitty, tbh–Steven is soft on her because the most prominent part of her past that he knows of is her trauma and he doesn’t hold her accountable for her actions as a result. He doesn’t know what Lapis was like before she was poofed and put in the mirror, and he doesn’t even know what she’s like a day to day basis because she doesn’t live with him.

Like I said in that other ask you sent, Amethyst blamed Greg for taking her mother figure from her and held him responsible for giving her the attention she lost when Rose “died.” She guilt-tripped him by claiming that “I had someone who was always there for me until she started hanging out with you!” and “I bet you’d stay for her!” before finally changing into Rose, which made him upset. In Barn Mates, Lapis blamed Peridot for “dragging her back to Earth,” thus contributing to her feelings of confinement, and I suspect that this is the basis of all the problems in their relationship. We don’t know much about their relationship post-Barn Mates and pre-Raising the Barn, but Peridot’s behavior didn’t just happen in a vacuum. I guess it could be “Lapis hated me that one time and I’ve been overcompensating to be her friend ever since” but I just don’t think that’s the case. Like I said, we–through Steven–haven’t seen what they’re like together on a day to day basis, but we have seen that Lapis has control issues  and Peridot stated that she experiences a “general sense of complete hopelessness” on a daily basis, likely in the absence of Homeworld’s structure. I imagine she depended on Lapis’ approval to boost her own self-worth outside the system.

I know, this is a lot of speculation that doesn’t really answer your question, so here’s the short of it: I believe Steven is soft on Lapis bc all he knows about her past is getting put in the mirror and used as a tool. I wouldn’t say that he doesn’t get onto her for actions, but he is softer on her than he is with anyone else, and there lies the problem. I feel that another large part of this is the fact that Lapis leaves whenever something bad happens. Released from a mirror she’s been trapped in for thousands of years? Leaves. Has to choose between siding with the gems who left her in the mirror for thousands of years or fusing with Jasper? Fuses with Jasper and leaves. Wakes up from a bad post-fusion nap? Leaves. Steven’s in trouble with the Diamonds? Leaves. That’s probably the biggest reason he treats her the way he does: he’s become so scared of her leaving that he’ll excuse her actions, her cowardice, just so she feels comfortable enough to stay.