#and when tck leaves the next morning

[thecatwinking]

catwin meet-cute except its a 'ghost boys but not detectives!' AU where charles and edwin ended up inexplicably working in (read: using the materials of) a craft store to try and bring some more artistic joy to their lives-after-death (sparked by a recently met Crystal telling them they need to be more rounded and no, edwin, spending your entire afterlife in a library wont solve the problem of you being completely ignorant towards every art and creative subject there is beyond literature).

edwin and his thick knitting needles and soft, cozy balls of yarn, bundled up near the window in a scarf and a thick wollen jumper, attracts the attention of a sleepy cat king, drowsy after a day of negotiating territories with a neighbouring cat ruler. surely the pretty boy with a soft bed of yarn on his lap wouldnt object to a feline friend taking a nap with him in the calm atmosphere hes created?

[pijjafairys]

fleeting crush.

synopsis ;  as you take the train to a distant city for the first time without your usual traveling companion, you recall the last time you rode this very train as a child. at the train station, you cross paths with strangers who are headed to the same destination and he offer you a helping hand.

pairing ; reader x joshua

genre ; fluff romance, contain momentary love

note ; it may be a little long, contain wrong translation or wrong grammar, I'm not a native speaker.

Footsteps clatter and heavy breathing break the silence of the hallway as you walk through it. You checked in at the train station at 5:25 in the morning, feeling relieved to have made it on time despite the tight schedule. 

You muttered, "I think I checked in late and ended up not leaving." 

However, moments later, you noticed an announcement about your train being slightly delayed, but the noise of the busy station made it difficult to hear clearly. You tried calling a friend for guidance, but she didn't answer.

"tck, she must be asleep." you chuckle and keep trying to reach her.

Feeling uncertain, you gazed around the station. You noticed a woman nearby but felt intimidated to approach her. You then spotted a man just a few steps away, 

"Instead of me going all the way to this woman, it's better to ask this man, it's closer." you think.

The young man appeared to be a university student, judging by his appearance. He had a tall and slender physique, dressed in a over-sized black sweater, a pair of jeans, a watch on his left wrist, black and white Converse shoes, and carried a backpack on his back.

And after mustering up the courage, you approached him and asked, "Excuse me, are you also taking this train to the same city?" As you showed him your e-ticket.

The man looked at your ticket and smiled, "Yes, I am."

You were feeling relieved, but your nerves returned when he mentioned that this was his first time traveling to the city alone. 

"God please help me," you said silently.

As the delay continued and more trains arrived and departed, the waiting area began to clear out and there were several empty seats. Tired from standing since before dawn, the man spotted an empty seat and claimed it for himself.

You watched as he settled into his seat and wondered whether you should follow suit. It seemed presumptuous to sit next to him without an invitation, but before you could take a step towards a different seat, the man suddenly turned to you and gestured for you to come over.

Confused, you gestured to yourself to make sure he was indeed inviting you. He nodded and smiled, continuing to wave until you hesitantly made your way towards him.

You smiled at him, “thanks but you don’t need to do that.” He looked at you and smiled, "It's okay, I thought you'd have trouble finding your own seat."

"Thank you so much..." You hide your smile by staring deeply at your phone screen. He just nodded and smiled and went back to staring at his phone screen too.

Without even glancing your way, he asks, "What's your name?" 

You awkwardly introduce yourself. He nods and smiles, "What a lovely name," before finally turning his gaze to you.

You smile a little shyly and clear your throat, "so? how about you?" 

“Joshua Hong,” he smiled, “you can call me Joshua.” you nodded.

As you both waited for the train, which was still undergoing repairs at another station, you engaged in conversation. Every time an announcement was made, you would ask him if it was the train you were supposed to take, and he would always reply with a warm smile.

As the conversation came to a halt, he went back to looking at his cell phone screen. Unconsciously, you voiced your thoughts out loud, "Even with his hair looking a little disheveled, he still looks handsome." You quickly covered your mouth, realizing what you had said.

He had heard your comment loud and clear. "Thank you, I must say, I am indeed handsome," he replied with a grin.

You jokingly responded, "Your mom must be so proud."

He chuckled, "She is."

Finally, the announcement of your train's arrival was made. You and Joshua rose from your seats and made your way towards the train station with the attendant apologizing for the delay. As you walked through the crowded platform, Joshua would occasionally stop and wait for you so that you wouldn't get separated.

As it turned out, your carriage was different from Joshua's. This might have been the point at which your paths would diverge. Sitting on the train, you couldn't help but think about him and regret not having asked for his social media account or phone number. All you could do was hope that fate would bring you back together again.

[voidcat]

– Stardust

Characters: Oikawa Tooru/You

Genre: fluff/comfort, heart to heart on reader’s part (questioning your place in the universe and all)

Summary: Sleep does not come some nights when it gets loud inside your head. Pebbles thrown at your window feels something out of movies. Oikawa Tooru being the one to do feels unreal. So you do what everyone does in dreams, is this a dream?, and follow his lead.

Word Count: 4.3k (i poured my heart out pls respond)

A/N: I didn’t write it with a song in mind but Kimochi Warui (When?  When? When? When? When? When? When?) sounded fitting while proofreading. Take it as a suggestion if you want.  – ao3 - PART 2

It’s late. 

Too late to still be up. Too late to be thinking like this. 

Too late to be up, awake, vibrating with all these overwhelming thoughts filling your head, wanting to break free, scratching the inside of your skull like feral animals, dying to get out.

It’s late and you keep lying down just like that. Hands clasped over your stomach, eyes locked onto the ceiling, trying not to think, keeping your mind blank like a newly bought sketchbook.

You lie like that for seconds feeling like hours and hours feeling like seconds.

You lie awake, the dim moon light entering your room lazily. All too familiar thoughts plaguing your mind, telling things you’ve known since childhood over and over and over until you grow numb to the noise.

Tck.

You consider checking the time but you’re afraid it’ll still be too early for the new day to start.

Tck.

Was that an actual sound or the newest trick of your mind?

Tck.

They say third time is the charm. Third time also means it’s too much of a specific occurrence to be a coincidence. The noise seems to be coming from outside, something small hitting your window.

Irritation and curiosity taking over you at last, not to mention boredom, you make way to the window and open it.

You see Oikawa Tooru of all people waving with his phone at you, a little aggressively.

Walking back to your nightstand and picking up your phone, you receive a message.

>[Does your folks wake up early?]

>[Or check up on you first thing in the morning?]

[No. why?] Hitting the send button you wait, walking back there and looking at him again. Face lightened by the glow of his phone, you can make up his eyes and nose.

>[Wear something warm.]

>[And make that spicy tea thingy you like so much if you want.]

>[I’m waiting by the door.]

Weird is seeing Oikawa Tooru under your window at an hour no one else is awake. Him telling you to get dressed and come outside? That’s creepy and worrying.

[Why]

>[I’m doing you a favor out of the goodness of my heart for once.] You want to roll your eyes at that. Since when does he know what being good means? Towards you especially.

>[No shady business, I promise.]

>[Trust me.]

As if knowing what went in your mind, these texts show up on your screen. You come to a halt.

Your relationship with Oikawa was never good. You would ignore one another on the good days and be utterly destructive and spiteful on the bad days. He never gave you a reason or made a gesture to earn your trust, you don’t even recall hearing those words from him much. They are reserved for Iwaizumi and the team only.

So why do you find yourself in a dilemma, as if there’s something to choose, a decision to make? Because the logical thing for you to do, the in-character thing for you to do, is to say no, go back to bed and hope to fall asleep at some point. The usual set of action for you is to refuse whatever he has to offer and go back to your own thing.

But you’re done with the logical and the in-character. So you send a quick [I’ll be down in 5.], make way to prepare something warm first and change your clothes as you wait for it to heat up. A sweatshirt should be enough.

Being too lazy and out-of-it to function once in a while pays, because instead of having to brew the tea and wait for a long while, you just heat up the already brewed and stashed one and pour it to your thermos.

Silently opening the door and getting out, you see Oikawa leaning against the wall.

He walks away when he sees you, you follow without a word. Soon enough you’re met with a car. Since when he has a car?

Wait, no. Don’t ask, don’t wait for an answer. Don’t look at the stupid car, don’t examine it. It is a dream after all, right? What’s the point in observing things when you’ll forget about them first thing in the morning?

Following his lead, you get inside the passenger seat, hear him start the engine, watch his hand reach for the stereo. A low hum arise.

It sounds like he picked a channel on random, the music isn’t bad per se, the volume is down. So it doesn’t exactly bother you either. Getting comfortable in your seat and resting your head against the window, you watch the blur of images go by.

There is no moon tonight, the only source of light is the street lamps coming into view and leaving as fast. Houses, buildings, trees, everything belonging to the day pass by in a fog and smear of colors. Almost like a quick brush of oil paint. It’s calming in a quiet before the thunderstorm kind of way.

As the road goes under the wheels, less and less houses come in to your view.

“Where to?”

Oikawa gives you a quick glance. He almost looks surprised to see you speak. Did he just assume you’d stay quiet all night?

“You’ll see.” His tone doesn’t match his face.

“What’s the meaning of it?”

“Consider it a favor.” This marks the end of your short lived conversation.

You don’t need to recognize the road he takes to understand he’s driving out of town, out of Miyagi. The why of it keeps floating in your head, you can’t apply the ‘it’s a dream’ tactic any more either, you are too awake for that, in both senses.

Turning your attention back on the sidelines, you let your mind wander off to meaningless assumptions.

A light behind the trees, you imagine a lonely night creature, lurking around to find his lost love.

You spot an animal you can’t identify and make up a story about an once-successful maiden, falling fool to a wicked spell.

You look at the trees and imagine nature coming to life in humanoid form, mutating and taking its revenge on human race.

Hearing a ribbit nearby and you recall the time your mother read you the Princess and the Frog years ago.

You turn left to look at Oikawa. Finding your phone inside your pocket and raising it in a show-and-tell manner, you wait for him to take notice and turn off the stereo. You press play.

Satie’s Once Upon A Time In Paris fills the air.

You note the relaxation in his shoulders. You let the melody take over your body as well.

Closing your eyes and holding your hands in the air, you can see the keys in front of you.

Hitting the keys one by one, reaching for the pedal, you can feel it flow through you. Head moving on its own, dancing with the melody, Gymnopedie no.1 as calm and serene as ever. Simple like a short quote on love from a poet.

It ends silently, Gnossienne no.3 enters with much more emotion.

It’s almost comical how many times you’ve played this exact piece but almost never listened to others playing. It sounds like you in some ways, some tints and emphasis different than how you’d play but that’s all you got right now.

You don’t need to break out of the music’s hold or open your eyes to catch Oikawa’s gaze on you once in a while. You went through all this before on so many occasions. Be it on public transportation and a piece you connect with comes on, you can’t stop your fingers from trying to play it on air, making keys out of nitrogen and oxygen in the air. Your body starting to move on its own after a while. Strangers giving you funny looks all the while.

The notes gain meaning and heaviness, hanging in the air and making way for the following ones as fast.

When the B bemols come, you can feel a stinging feeling in your eyes.

Since when does Gnossienne no.3 make you want to cry? Why now of all times?

You don’t care, you don’t want the answers, you don’t want to understand or reach a new level of understanding within yourself. Just shutting yourself out completely and taking in all the music with a deep breathe, you lean back as far as you can into the seat.

Gnossienne no.4 starts and your hands no longer itch to play.

When Oikawa pulls up at last, the music has long ended.

Getting off with your thermos in one hand, you look around.

Not a single building, a sign of life in sight. Where the hell did he bring you?

You can see his figure searching for something in the back seat, some shuffling reaches your ear. You look at the few and far between trees in the distance. It is a dead night. Not even wind, not even some comical tumbleweeds are in sight to add some motion. Time has stopped completely.

You don’t realize Oikawa’s signals for the second time that night, just as you didn’t hear him throwing pebbles at your window.

Noticing the loud thud, as him patting the hood of his car a little too late, only when he starts to get loud, you look back up. He’s sitting there, patting the space next to him, the gesture all too familiar.

Your mind wanders back to the moments you’d do the same, asking your cat to come sit with you, listen to you ramble, maybe purr for you, hear your sobs or meow at your antics. Tilting your hand with her head, bumping your legs with her tail. Those moments painted golden, filtered with a gray film, already gone, leaving nothing but a sharp pain in your chest.

You climb and sit, careful not to have any physical contact with him.

“Why are we here?” you try one last time.

“I didn’t want to be alone.” He says. Nodding your head at that, you’re not exactly surprised. The way he always surrounds himself with people, no matter the proximity and bond he shares with them.

He answered a question, maybe he can answer few more before I drive him to the limit, you think. “Why me?” This nags at your brain more than any other current question you have for him.

“It seemed fitting.”

“Why not Hajime or Makki, or even Mattsun?”

“Iwa-chan has come on little trips such as this with me before. I didn’t want to drag him tonight. Asking anyone else I’m close with didn’t sound like a good idea. And frankly? You seemed like you could use a break like this today.”

Observant prick.

“So, what exactly? We share one cozy moment tonight and return to our daily selves of hating one another in the morning?” His silence is a yes enough. “Sure, sounds good then.”

After the little conversation, you are back examining the surroundings, the comforting stillness in the air, the silence, the emptiness and the blackness of it all.

It gets boring after a while. Not wanting to disturb Oikawa further and at a loss of what else to do in the middle of nowhere, you look up at last.

Oh.

You forget to breathe for a few seconds. And that doesn’t even seem to be a problem in your eyes.

Has he done this before? How long has he been going out at ungodly hours for this?

You knew Oikawa Tooru was obsessed with space and aliens, thanks to Iwaizumi, but you never expected it to be on a more serious, in-depth level. Not like this.

Never like this.

Billions of stars hanging in the night sky, most millions of years old, blinking from a long gone past, probably dead in their current time.

A calm breeze washing over your wholly, reminding you just how small you are, your life is and how it is all okay because in the big picture you’re all nothing but dust. Destined to be forgotten by history in few centuries, if not decades.

Seeing all these stars, colorful lights what you hope are planets, an arm of the Milky Way, flowing like a waterfall and you feel a sense of security you haven’t felt in a while.

There is something comforting about the night sky, the way it can show you your unimportance in the big picture, your place in all this. You feel whole with the universe. You belong.

So you look up, and up and up. Stare at the sky, blink at the stars, smile at the constellations you spot and remember their stories, the gods and the myths, the heroes and the queens…

You look back at Oikawa then. As if remembering only now that he is there by your side.

Facing the sky in a manner just like yours, you can see the stars on his face. Shining on his hair, cheeks and in his eyes. Almost like stardust.

He looks ethereal, unreachable, enchanting. And a little vulnerable. All that tension, layers of masks he puts on each day, all the fake smiles and empty look in his eyes are gone.

Raw and pure.

This is the truest of Oikawa you’ve ever seen.

The admiration can be read from his eyes. His face holding an emotion you’ve seen on him once or twice. Not intense like this, never like this. You’ve seen the same look on him for Iwaizumi but only for a second, when he’s sure no one is watching.

With the same eyes, he watches the starry night sky.

He looks like he belongs up there. Not in a “be an astronaut and go to space” but in a “should be there, amongst the stars, his memory up there, to be remembered by everyone gazing upon the starry night. Like a constellation, become a constellation, a legend and a story, and so much more, just like Orion and Andromeda.”

This is the closest to Oikawa Tooru you’ve ever been. The thought gives you a shiver.

Seeming to notice that, he gives you a puzzled look and raises his right arm. You realize the blanket around his form then. He’s making an offer.

“Don’t worry, three people can fit in easily, it’s wide enough for the both of us.” When his face turned to you, it’s dark, no source of light to reflect on his skin.

You scoot over to him, under the blanket. The two of you refocus back on the scene above you.

Remembering the little mug inside your front pocket, you open the lid of your thermos and start pouring some tea, the steam leaving a little trail behind. You hold out the mug to Oikawa, he just looks at you, the confusion clear on his face.

Why are you offering me the tea you brought for yourself?

What makes you think I’d trust you enough to taste something you made?

“We said tonight was our little secret, right? I can use the cap as a mug, don’t worry.”

Your words and clarification seems to convince him somewhat, holding the mug with both hands, he smells it before taking a sip.

Silence falls over again and it’s much nicer this time.

Not even the coldness can get to you or pull you out of the warm embrace you’re in. The warmth around your shoulders, more provided by the idea of the blanket than the blanket itself. Like a thin veil, separating the real world from your little bubble of escape.

It’s new moon, no reflecting lunar light to block your view of stars. Sitting under the tent of black, blue, white and red; it feels divine. Divine to live in the moment, to truly breathe, to witness something so enthralling and forever.

To stand by yourself, stripped bare of everything; your layers, titles, names and ticks, clothes and paints, to be a newborn again, to reborn again, all alone, in an endless room, empty and cold, filled with stars and gods, stories to tell and dreams to see.

To feel whole again, alone again, hopeless again but reach a self-realization again, to taste nectar and discover the secrets of the universe, converse with the long gone philosophers and waltz with supernovas.

You’re not alone. Not completely.

Maybe left alone with your thoughts in this dead land and you know how one can never have company in their own mind, forever trapped alone. Yet in that moment, you’re not alone. Moving your head to steal a glance at the boy next to you again, you understand it well. It all happens so fast.

“Isn’t it ironic? How as humans we use a word like ‘star’ for untouchable celebrities, important people and such while in reality stars are nothing but these giant balls of plasma-“ gesturing a ball with your hands now, thermos sitting between your legs, “-with their ongoing chemical reactions, sputtering molecules of hydrogen and helium and all, until they come to an end with their current phase of life. If you can call that life.” You say all these with your eyes locked onto the stars, Oikawa’s locked on you. You keep going.

“Speaking of life, what is even life? Aren’t we just a bunch of organic components somehow managing to come together, build a system and gain conscious somehow? Just trying to survive until an outer force comes or our cells come off? Isn’t it technically our cells living, in a way?”

“Aren’t we just piles of protein just walking around and doing things that make no sense but to us?  Until we come to an end with our current phase of life? Doing what we see fit or fun or appropriate until it all ends.” It’s not a question any more. He doesn’t give you an answer.

“Aren’t we all children of the stars in a different point of view? All our molecules and elements coming from them. I mean, look at them. We see them blinking and smirking and smiling at us but for all we know they could’ve ended long ago. They could’ve become part of a new life for all we know. They break down and give birth to us, pieces of us; and in return we go back to them when we are gone. Despite being made of stardust, we live pretty shit lives huh?” You give him a lopsided smile, facing him as you say your last words.

“Is that what you’ve been thinking this whole time?” he replies.

“For far too long to pinpoint an exact date actually.” You almost say in a singsong voice. He frowns at that slightly.

“But I am right! Right? I mean, you’re a space nerd! You must know what I’m talking about.”

“Understanding and putting it into words in such a depressing way are two different things.”

Pouting at that, you look the opposite direction sharply. “Whatever, I know I am right.”

His gaze is still on you. “Is that what you’re like most of the time? I don’t get how Iwa-chan deals with you.” He must be shaking his head now.

“Iwa-chan can’t read minds last time I checked.” You deadpan.

His laugh fills the air at that. Light and lively, carefree; you doubt you’ve heard him laugh before. It sounds wonderful.

You wonder how things would’ve been between you and Oikawa, if the circumstances were different. If you never met Iwaizumi that day, would your paths still cross? Would you finish your Aoba Johsai years never meeting him?

Would you meet Oikawa on your own? Could you ever be friends, instead of dancing around one another and spitting out insults whenever you can? Would you like him in another world? Value his friendship, the person he is? Would the two of you have met before or become something more?

All these unanswered questions hanging in the air and you find yourself looking at him again.

His smile looks different now, he looks different, changed. Almost breathtaking. Is that what Iwaizumi means by his ‘fake smiles’?

A honest smile looks good on him.

You find yourself smiling back.

“Hey.” He nudges your shoulder with his. “If you still want to complain about the meaningless of life and all that, be my guest. I promise I won’t listen.”

Taken aback by his wording, you give him a confused look.

“Tonight doesn’t exist, remember?”

“…Right.” You decide to lean back and lie under the stars.

Feeling a tug at the blanket after a while, you see him placing the mug down next to the tire. You hand him your thermos as he regains his composure, he complies silently and leans back when he’s done.

All there is in the air is your faint breathing now. Never matching one another, sometimes loud, sometimes ghostly. There is no rhythm, no adjusting subconsciously. Completely independent.

You take a deep breath and start.

“It feels grey most of the time. Not in a ‘there’s never two sides, everything is grey, blah blah.’ But more like a numbness of grey.”

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t do anything, nothing to show or to indicate that he is listening. You continue talking.

“Like lacking all color and feeling in life, blocking all there is to see and enjoy and I am left with nothing but… grey.

Grey to the point of everything is filtered, there are no boundaries, it all feels the same, plays the same and I am afraid. I am afraid of hurting. Hurting myself, being hurt myself and hurting the ones around me. Not the ones I love, I don’t even know love. What is love?” You turn to look at him.

“I tried thinking about it, reading about it, understanding it on a chemical and hormonal way. Consulted mathematics and never got an answer. It feels made up, a fairy tale to feel better, to attach ourselves to one another.

I fear I came across love and didn’t notice it, I fear I brushed it off for something else and now it’s too late.”

With each pause, it gets easier to speak, harder to talk. Finding the right words, using your vocal chords, moving your tongue, writing your sentences in your mind. You don’t feel the tears gathering around your eyes or going down your cheeks. You wait for the robot title, to be called heartless and how you have a rock in your chest. They never come.

“Do you really fear of hurting him?” There’s no doubt he is talking about Iwaizumi.

“I don’t know.”

“But you care for him.”

“I don’t know.”

“Think before you answer.” He says then, voice stern.

“I think I care for him but I fear I will ruin him.”

The unspoken ‘how so?’ is in the air.

“I feel grey to the point of dust and decay. I fear everything I touch either drives away from me or decays. I don’t want to lose him. I think I care for him. But I don’t want to watch him stay by my side and crumble one by one.

I don’t want to go from grey to blue.”

“Doesn’t he make you happy? I’ve seen genuine smiles on you when you’re with him. You almost light up when he enter a room or sits beside you.”

“What’s the point of happiness if it’s dependent on one person? It is not fair to either parties.”

He starts tsking. “Too many don’ts for that age. You’ll end up with wrinkles before your thirties.”

He stops prying after that.

The air begins to grow colder, a little breeze picks up.

The stars are as cold as ever, blinking diamonds in the sky.

You swear you see the arm of Milky Way coming into motion, flowing like a stream.

For what feels like an hour, it is quiescent. You decide to break it one last time.

“Speaking of stars, you and Iwaizumi are like neutron stars. Can be found alone or orbiting one another, chasing after each other, forever together and merged at last. Both stars on your own but as captivating when together.”

The hour taking its toll on you, your senses grow duller. You can’t hear his breathing without focusing, even the stars are getting blurry.

“Then you’re like a black dwarf.” Oikawa speaks up. “Because you feel unreal most of the time.”

You both fall back into silence. You don’t ask him if he meant it as a compliment and he doesn’t answer.

You don’t need to know which way he meant, in a way, you already know the response to that.

Tonight isn’t real. It’ll cease to exist in a few hours and you let these rare moments sink in. Probably the closest you’ll ever be to Oikawa Tooru, closest see him like this. It almost feels familiar, like you’ve done this before, went on stargazing with him and opened your heart out to him. It feels like a dream, A Midsummer Night’s Dream. You chuckle at your attempt of a joke lightly.

It is serene around the two of you and in your mind. A placidity you haven’t had without the help of  a distraction in a long while.

“Thanks Tooru.”

His name falls out of your lips like you use it on the daily. Like the comforting shuffle of a worn out sweater as you put it on, the chirping of this family of birds living by your house for decades, the warm meow of your cat when you’re headed to bed. It sounds natural.

Scooting closer to him until your head rests on his chest. He just wraps his arm around you, pulling you further. Not a single word on your way of addressing him. And not a word from you on his way of holding you.

The moment will cease to exist in the morning, along with your confessions and the blinking lights of the stars. In a few hours it’ll no longer be real. So you decide to give it a shot at being close to him in all senses, share something the two of you will never have. Wrapping your arm around his torso, listening closely to his heart. Your head under his chin, his hand atop yours, you fall asleep until the sun comes.

[louhooo]

Hello My Old Heart | Chap. 13

Chapter Summary: Let’s get this show on the road!

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader [AU]

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, underage drinking [it’s bad, mmkay? don’t do it], aaaand some ANGST

A/N: SORRY I FELL OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH WITH THIS SERIES!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

“Okay, Danny’s giving the signal,” you watched the flower girls make their way to the front row and sit beside Peggy. Your turned to Pepper and smiled at one another. She winked at Sharon and started her walk down the procession. You looked back at Sharon and fixed a flyaway strand of hair. “It’s not too late if you wanna take a run for it.”

Sharon laughed, a smile staying on her face. “It’s so weird. I was so freaked out earlier, but now that it’s here?” She chuckled, “I’m ready to be married.” You smiled and shared a quick hug.

“I love you, Sharon.”

“I love you, too, Y/N.” You pulled back, both glassy eyed and adjusted the bouquet of flowers in your hand.

“I’ll see you in a bit, lady.” You and Sharon shared a watery laugh and you stepped into the doorway, holding the flowers up as you walked down the aisle.  

You took slow and steady steps, a wide smile on display as you scanned the audience. You spotted Nick sitting towards the back of the church wearing all black, not deviating from his usual color, despite the occasion. The Barnes’ sat two rows behind Sarah and Joe, and you tried to hide your embarrassment when Becca leaned into the aisle and snapped a picture of you, causing a few rows to laugh politely. She beamed up at you as you walked beside her.

“You’re a little shit, Rebecca Barnes.”

She giggled, “Love you, too.” You grinned and looked at blond man standing at the altar. 

Steve stood anxiously, giving you a nervous chuckle when you locked eyes. You smiled tenderly at him and he stepped down, kissing your cheek.

“She looks beautiful, Stevie,” you murmured into his ear. He placed a hand on your waist and hugged you, the tension radiating off his body. You gave him one more smile and stepped up beside Pepper and turned to watch Sharon.

Everyone stood and the doors opened up to an ethereal figure in white standing in the doorway. Sharon glided down the aisle, her eyes never leaving Steve’s. You looked at Steve, and sure enough, his usually stoic persona melted away to the sentimental sap that he was. 

Steve’ll be the first one to tell you: weddings always make him cry.

You sniffled and wiped your tears as you helped fix her dress as she stood next to Steve. When you stood up straight, you finally acknowledged the feeling of someone staring at you. You took a jagged breath and cast your eyes towards him.

Bucky stared at you as Sharon’s uncle started talking about how honored he was to officiate for her and Steve. You were vaguely aware that he was still talking about the couple, but you prayed no one asked you what exactly he said.

Tck! 

You rolled your eyes and walked over to the window, pushing the curtains back and lifting the window pane up. You folded your arms and leaned against the sill, smirking at the brunet a few feet below.

“Whatdya want now?” He clicked his tongue and put his hands on his hips, squinting up at you.

“You aren’t answering your phone. I coulda had an emergency and you woulda missed it.”

“Well, ya seem to be just fine, so–” Bucky gave you an unamused glare back and you laughed.

“I’m serious, Y/N.” You sighed and leaned back enough to push the screen up. You leaned out of the window with your hands on the outer sill.

“Will you get up here and kiss me already?” If he weren’t so anxious, he would’ve teased you some more, made you wait longer, but he couldn’t. Not when he hadn’t kissed you since last night. He quickly stood on top of the AC unit and you leaned out further to meet him. You kept one hand on the ledge and the other on his jaw, holding him close. Bucky cupped your face and held you as he pulled your lips to his. Slightly chapped and tasting faintly of coffee. 

Just how you liked your kisses in the morning.

“I never wanna go that long without kissin’ ya ever again.” He placed kiss after kiss on your lips until you giggled and pulled back. You stuck out your pinkie for him.

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Barnes.” He smirked and hooked his pinkie with yours and you shook in agreement. You intertwined the rest of your fingers together and gazed at each other. “What did you and the guys do last night?”

“Played Call of Duty and ate pizza. And Clint got one of the guys at work to buy us beer.”

“You didn’t drink too much, did you?” Bucky shook his head.

“Nah, just enough to get a buzz. Stevie got pretty toasted, though.”

“Buck…” you drawled, “you promised me no hungover people today.” Bucky chuckled.

“He drank less than I did! He ate a greasy breakfast at Peg’s and he was fine. No one’ll be the wiser.” You shook your head with a small grin. “What did you and the girls do?”

“Talked about the universe. Same as any sleepover.” Bucky grinned and rolled his eyes, but you weren’t joking. Sleepovers get very serious once everyone is settled into bed.

“You gonna share it with me?” A slow grin spread on your face.

“Sorry. I can only tell ya if we have the same last name.” He pursed his lips and hummed.

“Well, I did have plans this afternoon, but I might be able to squeeze a wedding in.”

You played along. “What plans do you have?”

“Dancin’ with my pretty wife and eatin’ cake. In that order.” Your face heated up and you grinned bashfully at him. 

“A real charmer, huh?” He gave you a dazzling smile that made his eyes twinkle.  

“So I’ve been told…. So, you’re gonna marry me, right?” You hummed.

“If you ask nicely.” Bucky blinked and gave a sly grin as he tilted his head. He traced his fingers down the curve of your neck, his thumb brushing over your collar bone, skimming the chain of your necklace. 

“Y/N, will you marry me?” You stuck your tongue out to wet your lips, Bucky’s eyes landing on your lips. His mouth parted and he slowly cast his eyes back on yours. 

“Sorry. I’ve already got plans tonight.” He growled in the back of his throat and stood on his toes and attacked your lips, making you laugh. Your bedroom door opened and Nat growled.

“Barnes! I told you to get lost!” Bucky grimaced and kissed you once more before jumping off the AC and taking off running towards his truck.

“See ya later, Peaches! I’ll be the stud in front!” You smiled and bit your lip.

“I’ll be the one in white!” You hollered out to him, he cast another dazzling smile over his shoulder and you watched him until he was out of sight. You sighed and stood up straight turning to look at Nat.

“Really?”

“We haven’t seen each other since last night! We haven’t gone that long without seeing each other since he visited his family in Indiana two summers ago.” 

“I know for a fact he and Sam walked here at midnight last night so he could see you.” You grinned and shut the screen on the window.

“I can’t help it. He’s cute and has nice hair.” Nat shook her head and sighed.

“C’mon, Juliet. You gotta finish getting ready.”

“C’mon, Y/N! We wanna see!” Becca squealed from the other side of the door. You studied yourself in the floor mirror and smoothed out the invisible creases by your hips. Sharon and Nat came into view and grinned at you.

“What’re you thinkin’ about?” You took a deep breath and turned to look at them.

“I’ll text Clint if you wanna leave.” You shook your head.

“Do you think he’s gonna like it?” Sharon gave you an understanding smile and placed her hands on your shoulders.

“Y/N, Bucky is gonna cry like a baby when he sees you. Steve said he already cried once this morning.” You blinked and tilted your head in curiosity.

“What? I just saw him at noon. He never said anything.” Nat and Sharon chuckled and she dropped her arms.

“Does that really surprise you? You know how weird he gets about showing his emotions.” You sighed. It was true. Annoyingly true. “Steve said he just stared at a picture of you on his phone and cried.”

“Which picture?” Sharon shrugged.

“He couldn’t tell.” Another impatient knock sounded and you both sighed. “We better go before Becca breaks the door down.” You picked up the skirt of your dress and walked over to the door, taking another deep breath before you opened it.

A flurry of excitement and squeals filled the room. You smiled widely, coming more into the room and giving a twirl for the women (and Becca) who eagerly waited.

“OHMYGOD! You look beautiful!” Becca came up to your side and immediately wrapped her arms around you. You hugged her back tightly and tucked her brown curls as you looked at each other.

“Is Buck gonna like it?”

“He’s not that stupid!”

“Rebecca!” Winnie, Sarah, and Peggy all chided at the same time. Becca rolled her eyes just for you and stepped back. When you looked at Winnie, her resolve quickly faded and tears started streaming down her face. 

“Oh, Y/N….” Winnie spread her arms out, and you quickly stepped into them, trying your best to not break down in hysterics. 

Your family hadn’t been able to come. 

Hadn’t been able, or didn’t make the effort, you weren’t entirely sure, but it upset you all the same. Everyone had been tiptoeing around the subject since they told you they wouldn’t be there, but you did your best to not act like it bothered you. Of course, no one believed you, but you liked to pretend you were better at acting than they gave you credit for.

Winnie squeezed you tight. “I love you, sweetheart. I’m so happy that I’m getting you as a daughter.” You squeezed her back, no longer hiding your tears. The room quieted down as Sarah and Peggy ushered Becca, Sharon, and Nat out of the room, giving you and Winnie a moment alone. You stood together for a few silent minutes, soaking in the moment.

In less than thirty minutes, you would be ‘Mrs. Barnes’ just the same as her. Mrs. Barnes.

Mrs. James Barnes.

Mrs. Y/N Barnes.

You had already practiced writing it a few times since Bucky pretended to propose sophomore year.

You separated and Winnie went to her purse and pulled out a tissue and carefully blotted your tears so that your makeup stayed intact.

“Ya know, George bawled like a baby on our wedding day.” You gave a watery laugh.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised. He cries at everything.” Winnie chuckled and nodded her head.

“Yes, he does. And I love it.” She finished wiping your tears and grinned warmly at you. “Bucky cried this morning.”

You gasped in subdued disbelief, “That’s what Sharon said…! Steve said he was looking at my picture?” Winnie kept her grin and nodded. “Do you know which picture it was?”

“He wouldn’t say.” You sighed and tried to think of what picture it could be. “I bet he’ll tell ya if you ask….” You snorted.

“Well, I would sure hope so, but it wouldn’t totally shock me if he kept it a secret from me, too.” You both laughed and a soft rap echoed in the room.

“Y/N, it’s time,” Sharon peeked her head in and grinned. Your forgotten nerves came back with a vengeance, demanding your attention. It was a blur how you somehow made it to the hallway outside the altar. Sarah and Peggy gave you tight hugs before leaving to find their seats, and Winnie gave you a kiss on the cheek before going to find George and Bucky so they could make their way down the aisle. 

“I can spend the night whenever, right?” You blinked and looked at Becca. How long had she been talking?

“Sorry, Bex, I wasn’t paying attention. Spend the night where?”

“At your house.” You gave a breathy laugh.

“Your mom and dad just told us about it last night, Becca, I don’t think we’re ready for guests yet.”

“Especially when you’ll have all those rooms to christen.” You gasped and spun around and gave Nat a pointed look, who only gave a sly grin in return. You eyed her as you looked back at Becca, who had, thankfully, not heard Nat’s commentary.

“Yes, Becca, once Buck and I are semi-settled, you can start spendin’ the night.”

“Can I have my own room?” You laughed and smoothed one, lone, wild curl.

“You’ll hafta ask your brother, but probably.” She groaned.

“He’ll say ‘no’.” You shrugged.

“Ya never know.” She sighed and moved to get in line. The bridesmaid processional song was starting, which meant in two minutes you would be walking down the aisle.

“Alright, Becca, you’re up first.” You adjusted the silver bow on the back of her dress and grinned at her. She smiled and waved before stepping out behind the doors separating the bridal party from everyone else. Sharon, kept watch and Nat came up next to you and squeezed your elbow.

“Love you.”

“Love you, too.” You smiled at each other and she disappeared next. Sharon glanced over her shoulder and grinned.

“It’s not too late if you wanna make a run for it?” You scoffed a laugh.

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“Well… you don’t hafta get married…” You shook your head immediately.

“I’m marryin’ that boy if it’s the last thing I do,” Sharon chuckled and you grinned to yourself. “I’ll have to tell him later that he was right; we shoulda just gone to the courthouse and called it good.” Sharon walked towards you and wiped the curve of her finger under your eye.

“I promise I won’t tell him you said that.” You both laughed softly and your ears both perked at the swell of the song that signaled Sharon’s cue. She took a deep breath and smiled at you, “Let’s get you married.” You smiled back and she left you, taking her turn to walk down the aisle, leaving you alone for a few still seconds.

Deep breaths.

It’s just you and Bucky. No one else matters.

Just you and him.

The double doors creaked open and first few beats of your processional song started to fill the room. You grinned at Clint and Nick, and took another deep breath before clasping your hands around the stem of your bouquet, and taking a step forward.

You glanced around, the sudden feeling of anxiety starting to creep into your thoughts as everyone in the room stood to watch you. Had your palms always been this sweaty? Surely, your heart hasn’t always beat this fast, has it? Did everyone really need to stare at you? 

You finally looked forward, and all the noise stopped.

Bucky.

He stood at the end of the aisle, red and teary eyed, dressed in the navy suit that you thought made his eyes bluer. He bit the inside of his lip, trying, and failing, at keeping his tears from showing.

How did he get so lucky?

You were finally close enough that Bucky could take your hand.

He blew out a long breath as he looked you up and down, “Oh, sweetheart… ya look,” you smiled at him, thumbing the tears from his cheek. “Wow.”

Bucky never thought he’d be one of those grooms that cried on his wedding day, he’d even told you as much every chance he could. 

I don’t cry, Peaches, and I sure as hell ain’t gonna start doin’ it in front of everyone we know.

Of course, you told him he might, and, of course, you were right.

He’ll tell you that later.

But you probably already know.

“Bucky?” He hummed, and you grinned at him. “Let’s get married.” He smiled and squeezed your hand.

You blinked and beamed at your friends as Danny pronounced Steve and Sharon man and wife. The room filled with cheers as Steve cupped Sharon’s face and kissed her. They turned and smiled at everyone before holding hands and making their way back up the aisle. 

You glanced back at Pepper, only to see Nat standing behind her. You blinked.

When had she gotten there? You looked over at the groomsmen and saw Clint at the end. Before you could suggest switching spots, you were pushed towards the middle. Big hands caught you before you could embarrass yourself further.

“Are you okay?” You nodded and tried to wipe off the awkwardness.

“I’m fine, Bucky. We should go.” You looked at him expectantly, and for three slow seconds, he stared at you before sighing and turning, extending his elbow for you. You clasped onto it and ascended the aisle with him, ignoring the way it made your heart race.

“I still wanna talk.” You sighed and looked at him.

Why can’t you just stop loving him? 

Why can’t you just let him go…?

Why can’t you just let Dot finally have him?

“I know,” Bucky’s shoulder’s relaxed, “I do, too.”

… Why do you still have to love James Barnes?

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[thesnakeadventures]

OFF LIMITS - The Friend Zoned Dinner.

Hey guys this is the part 2 of my 4 part series "OFF LIMITS": Friend Zoned Dinner.

If you haven't read Part 1 click here.

After all the interactions Jo, Xin and myself became pretty close friends.

Where we had dinner regularly and talked about anything under the sun.

At one point I could see Xin was really trying to get close with me, although my target was Jo.

But, potential booty call. I can't complain there.

Although Jo and I could share a cab her bf usually picks her up, so Xin and I usually spend more time together. Eventually 1 time we decided to play some 1 to 1 bluff dice game where the loser has to choose either Truth or Dare..

Some how luck wasn't really on my side this time and she asked what was my darkest secret that most may not know. I told her about yoni massage and she seemed rather interested as she kept asking me more questions regarding it.

Then came her turn, asking her about her darkest kink. She mentioned it was to be groped and touch in public by someone she knows but not in a relationship with.

We were sitting side by side in a dimmed corner, I was tipsy a lil and there goes my hand.

Me: Like this?

As  I placed my hands on her thighs

Xin: umm...a bit more intense ba..

We continued playing our game with my hands on her thighs..

After another round where she had to take a full shot, I started using my fingers to slowly roll up her dress. Feeling her soft silky thighs and rubbing my hands on them gently. Blood quickly rush through my veins giving me a hard on instantly. I decided to go for it by moving my fingers below the dress with only the dim light covering them.

we paused the game for awhile as we were listening to the live stage music.

I could feel the area near the honey hole getting more moist, thought that she was just perspiring...

As I slid my fingers through the door, more liquid started flowing in and she started getting wetter...

Me:  wow so serious uh?

Xin: It's been sometime, since I last..

Me: Want me to take care of it?

Xin I was expecting you to.

I pulled her closer and whispered "Be a good slut and take off your bra & panty before we leave"

She got up quickly and headed towards the washroom.

I quickly called for the bill cos I know what's up next :)

After settling the bill, we waited for our ride.

My fingers at that point really got too itchy and decided to poke her pussy as we wait..

The back of her dress started to have a big round patch from all juices that dripped from her pussy.

The ride came, decided to give her a break from the pokes. She grabbed my arm and hugged it with my hands right over her skirt. Guessing she wanted more..

I leaned forward and started talking with the driver... as my fingers slid in more, teasing the honey pot..

while conversing, I asked..

Me: hey so hows the camera? more safer for you now days?

Driver: err its okay la, usually just records the front. So you guys can just continue.. just don't dirty it.

At this point, I was pretty surprised he knew and he told me its pretty common around this timing..

Me: hahaha... ok thanks I guess..

I started fondling her breast more till its all perky, she was a tad shy since its in-front of a total stranger but liked it the fact she was being groped by someone she knows...

Xin: hey out of me and Jo who would you pick for a girlfriend?

Was totally off guard on that and I blurt out Jo's name.. What a dumb answer -_-

Me: cos I rather fulfill your kink of playing someone whose not in a r/s with you..

PHEW! HENG AH! I gave myself the Official "Save a Fuck" title.

As we made our way to the hotel lobby, I told her I didn't bring protection.

Xin: It's okay, I'm on birth Controls..just cum in

She gently smiled while mentioning cum in.

My eyes opened extra wide with the thought 'CREAM PIE! CREAM PIE! CREAM PIE!"

Then I came to a realization how slutty she must be in bed.

As we walked out of the life and head towards the room. I gave her a back hug and telling her from this point on till morning she is my cock slut.

I quickly used both my hands to pull out her dress shoulder knot exposing her silky back.

Xin: wei.. don't..

Me: you're my cock slut remember?

Xin: tck...

As I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the room, she used the other hand to cover her boobs.

Stranger: WOW!

Xin quickly took the room card and dashed towards the room. By this time her dress came off as she didn't hold on to it properly.

Got so turned on seeing those butt cheeks wiggle as she ran.

As I walked into the room, she slammed the door shut!

Xin: What were you doing?!! Cannot Wait??

Me: You wanted public remember? Don't complain le..

Xin: HMPH!

she couldn't control but smiled when she heard those word..

Dam this wild chick..I pushed her towards the wall. Pinning her hands together on top of her head.

While the other hand grabbed on to her neck. From the get go we started to make out intensely right at the door step. She pulled off her hands and started fondling around my body.

What Happened next? I'm pretty sure you all know =)

This concludes the end of Part 2. Stay tuned next week for Part 3.