#and when nanako picks up on the change they just laugh. but when teddie picks up on it yosuke suddenly gets embarrassed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chroniccombustion · 6 years ago

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Caught in the Grey (ch 2)

Genre: Trans!AU, hurt/comfort, romance, angst with a happy ending Rated: T Characters: Souji Seta (Yu Narukami), Yosuke Hanamura, Naoto Shirogane, Investigation Team, Izanagi/Shadow!Souji Warnings: depression, dysphoria, disassociation, self-hatred, implied suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, mentions of homophobia, implied past child abuse and transphobia, canon-typical violence, mild sexual content Status: multi-chapter, incomplete

Playlist: Spotify | Youtube <- previous chapter | next chapter ->

The light has changed from dingy blue-grey to anxious pink by the time he realigns himself, creeping along the wall to spill down across the floor. There is a twisting sensation low in his stomach, a burning in the back of this throat. He runs his leaden tongue across his gums and they tingle in response. The ache is still there in every limb, echoed by a shaky feeling that makes his world feel like it’s slipping in and out of solidity.

He flips open his phone with his thumb. 7:19am the screen now reads, as well as a flashing notice from half an hour ago, proclaiming, 1 new message.

Shirogane-kun: SENPAI PLS CALL ME

Chapter 2: Been a Long Damn Day

“From the beach to the city, I been putting on a face. You’re no stranger to a mask, you ain’t lost or amazed. I been lost in a maze, been a long damn day, I been lost in a maze, been a long damn day…”

- (“Sinking”, Jeremy Zucker)

Shirogane-kun: SOUJI-SENPAI WHERE R U?

Shirogane-kun: R U OK?

Shirogane-kun: PLS RESPOND

Shirogane-kun: SENPAI PLS I AM WORRIED

4 missed calls from Shirogane-kun

Aibo: bro u ok? wtf happened?

Aibo: no srsly wth? what was that?

Aibo: prtnr we cant find u where did u go?

Aibo: shit the girls pageant is starting we cant leave

Aibo: not funny bro

Aibo: call me back man cmon ur freakin me out

Aibo: souji?

7 missed calls from Aibo

14 new messages, 9 missed calls from Kanji-kun, ~*Rise!*~, Amagi Yukiko, Satanaka Chie, TEDDIE

Souji stares down at the phone in his hand, squinting against the brightness of the screen in the pre-dawn gloom. 5:42am, it reads. Fantastic.

He shifts his weight to lean more against the side of the couch rather than the chilly wall and groans involuntarily when his entire body protests. He’s stiff, cold, and his everything is angry with him for sleeping on the floor. His uniform pants are still on from yesterday, though he has no idea just where his shirt and jacket went – or the flesh-colored bit of fabric that he wears underneath. At some point after running home in a blind, dissociative panic he knows he must have pulled them off because he remembers being shirtless before properly passing out, so, theoretically, they must be in the room with him somewhere. He doesn’t have the energy to look.

As long as his pants are still on.

As exhausted as he is, (mentally, physically, emotionally,) he knows he won’t be able to get back to sleep at this rate. He can’t work up the energy to pull out the futon or change into real pajamas, and besides, he’d just have to get right back up for school again soon after. His body aches too much to let him relax anyway.

So Souji sits there, folded over on himself in the corner between the couch and wall, and doesn’t read the slew of missed texts from his worried friends. He can’t; their escalating concern leaves a guilty stone in his stomach on top of the embarrassment he already feels. He knows they’ll be upset with him for not telling them where he is, that he’s okay, and it spikes his anxiety just thinking about it – which just makes it all the more impossible to open the rest of the texts. He’d barely made it through Naoto’s, forced himself to read Yosuke’s, before he’d had to quit.

Something else, though, is the quiet, creeping dread that has nestled into his already-anxious heart. He can’t read the rest, can’t bring himself to respond and ease their worry because he doesn’t know what to say. How can he possibly explain to his friends why he bolted like a frightened cat for seemingly no reason? They’d want to know what set him off, why it had caused such a violent reaction, and every reason Souji can think of just leads his brain deeper and deeper down the winding rabbit hole of Things He Doesn’t Want to Talk About.

How is he supposed to tell them what brought about his soul-shattering panic attack without revealing everything else?

Still. If he stays silent for too much longer then he’ll lose the window of opportunity to try and play this whole thing off as something they shouldn’t worry about. He also potentially runs the risk of one of them reporting him missing, or even just straight up going to his uncle. There is no easy way to go about handling this garbage fire of a situation and trying to think of ways to avoid it is only making everything so much worse inside his head.

Souji lolls his head back and watches the encroaching dawn slither through his windows and play across the wall across from him. It’s the only light in the room aside from his phone. Eventually, that, too, goes dark.

He flips open his phone with his thumb. 7:19am the screen now reads, as well as a flashing notice from half an hour ago, proclaiming, 1 new message.

Shirogane-kun: SENPAI PLS CALL ME

He… wants to. Out of all his friends, Naoto would be the safest one to talk to right now. They know, and he wouldn’t have to think up some excuse as to why he fled from school the way he did. It would be… refreshing, he thinks, to finally be honest about a situation like this. (He also shamefully knows that of everyone he still owes an explanation to, he may have frightened Naoto the most. After all they’ve done for him the past two days, he owes them at least this much.)

His thumb only hesitates over the call button for a moment – just one – before he shakily presses it down. The line picks up on the second ring.

“Senpai! Oh thank god; are you alright? Where are you?’

Souji winces at the desperation in his friend’s voice. “I’m fi—“ He swallows against the dryness in this throat, hesitant to say “fine,” because he really, probably isn’t. He hasn’t been fine for days. “I’m alive,” he finally settles on. “I woke up at home but I don’t remember getting here.” There’s no point in lying, and it feels good – if only a little – to admit even the tiniest bit of weakness to someone he knows won’t use it against him.

There is a pause on the other end of the line. “You… ‘woke up’,” Naoto slowly repeats. “How long have you been there?”

“I don’t know. The whole time, I think.”

Naoto sighs and it sounds like a rush of tension being released. “Alright. Alright, it’s worrying that you do not remember, but at least you’re safe.”

There is another pause, a longer one this time, that Souji doesn’t know how to fill. When Naoto finally speaks again, their voice is tiny, quiet, sounding so very young and sad that it damn near wrenches Souji apart.

“…Senpai, you scared me. I knew something must have happened but...”

There’s no one there to see it in the dark, but Souji instinctively hangs his head, shame and guilt lashing at his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle comes over the line before Naoto vehemently says, “Don’t apologize. I know what panic can do to the mind, and I suspect you were not in complete control at the time. I just wish I could have helped.”

“You’ve already done more than enough,” he says, because it’s true.

Naoto doesn’t seem to agree. “What I have done is paltry compared to what needed to be done. I try not to make deductions about the Team anymore, but I imagine you require a great deal more support right now than a pack of makeup wipes.”

He doesn’t respond to that. He doesn’t exactly know how he can.

Naoto sighs again, this time sounding more frustrated than relieved. “I… That was invasive of me, I apologize.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, but your patience with me is appreciated anyway.”

They go quiet for a bit, and Souji can hear faint noises in the background – rustling cloth, the creak of leather. He is reminded that it’s early-o-clock on a school day and that Naoto is probably in the middle of getting ready to leave.

“Souji-senpai?” they finally say, soft and cautious. If Souji were to have any other siblings beyond Nanako, he thinks maybe he wouldn’t mind having Naoto as family.

“I’m still here,” he answers, and it feels like a drop of warmth. He thinks he might smile if he wasn’t so drained still.

“Do you… need to talk about it? Whatever it was that happened, I mean.”

He thinks. Yes, in a way he does, if only to let Naoto in the way they deserve to be. It would be nice to get it off his chest, to have someone understand, but at the same time he doesn’t think he can. Telling Naoto – while safe – would also mean reliving the gut-dropping horror of Teddie’s words. Souji has just barely gotten purchase in the real word again, shaky as it is, and he’d rather not have that tentative stability taken away again. So he takes a breath and lets it out slowly through his nose.

“I… probably,” he says, “but I’d rather not think about it anymore.”

Naoto hums. “I understand. Sometimes it’s better that way.”

There is more shuffling. Then, “I’m terrible at this, aren’t I?”

Souji huffs – a quiet laugh that isn’t exactly a laugh but is closer than he usually gets. “I don’t think so,” he assures them. “You’re trying; that’s more than I’m used to.”

He thinks he probably shouldn’t have said that. He can’t bring himself to dwell on it right now.

A low, displeased sound comes through the earpiece, and Souji can vividly picture the stern furrow of Naoto’s brows, their lips pressed into a thin, stony line. Yeah. He really shouldn’t have said that.

Thankfully they seem to let it go (though he’s pretty sure Naoto never lets anything go and is just filing it away for later,) because the next words he hears from them are, “Did you sleep at all?”

“Uhm. A little. I think so, at least.” It certainly wasn’t long or well, but he isn’t going to mention that.

Another low, wordless sound. “Have you eaten?”

Oh.

He thinks back to the way his stomach had purged itself the day before last, how he’d been too dead inside to eat breakfast or even pack lunch yesterday. No wonder his body feels weak and shaky, his skull tight behind his eyes.

He swallows. “I… no. Not since… no.”

“Senpai.”

“I think… I might need to stay home today,” he whispers sheepishly. He feels like a child facing down the disapproving stare of an older sibling – which throws him a little since Naoto is younger than he is. He can’t tell if it’s comforting or just plain unsettling. Maybe a little bit of both.

“Do you want me to tell the others you have food poisoning?”

He startles. “That…” He clears his throat to try and regain himself. He’s surprised by how easily Naoto is able to handle this, how quickly they volunteer to cover for him. He hates that he’s surprised. He thinks Naoto would hate that he’s surprised as well.

“You’d do that?” he whispers, unable to hide the slight tremble of grateful awe.

Naoto’s voice is kind, gentle like warm water on an aching body when they say, “I’ll tell them whatever you need me to, Senpai, and nothing else.”

Souji makes a sound that he’s pretty sure is wet and mildly hysterical. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Senpai. I mean that truly.”

He lets out a long, slow breath, careful not to do so directly into the phone, and lets the feeling of something safe and grateful and happy wash over him; like a place to rest when exhaustion peaks, or the warmth of a fire chasing away cold misery. Or, he thinks with a tiny smile, the glowing, sparkling, champagne-fizzy feeling that a bond sends zinging through his veins whenever its rank has risen.

Comfortable quiet reigns as the rank up run its course.

All too soon though, reality returns and through the phone speaker there comes a clock chime from somewhere in the background. Naoto makes a muffled sound as they apparently take their phone away from their ear for a moment.

“Do I need to let you go?” Souji asks when it seems like Naoto can hear him again.

They sigh. “Possibly. Will you be alright?”

He pauses. Aside from how shitty he feels due to lack of proper sleep and no food for two days, he feels… lighter. The anxiety from before has calmed somewhat now that he no longer has to drag his protesting body to school and face down his friends. “Yeah,” he says, and it’s nice to find that he means it. “I’ll be alright. I’ll…” he huffs – the faintest hint of a chuckle, “…spend the day recovering, probably.”

Naoto hums again. “Good, do that.” A beat of silence. Then, “Thank you for calling me, Senpai. If you hadn’t I was planning on coming by your house after school.” They make an odd noise that Souji thinks might be an audible expression of discomfort. “I would have done so yesterday, to be honest, had Kashiwagi-sensei not hauled us all off to change for the beauty pageant.”

Oh hell. He’d forgotten about the second pageant. He winces as he realizes just how awful it must have been for his friends – Naoto especially. “I am so sorry,” he says, his voice a rush of breath. “I shouldn’t have run out on you like that; after everything you did for me, I should have stayed to support you—“

But Naoto cuts him off. “Senpai, it’s alright. Panic and the mind, remember? Don’t apologize.” They make the noise of discomfort again, and Souji thinks he can almost hear the way Naoto’s face scrunches up when they deeply dislike something. “Obviously I survived, though it was… unpleasant,” they say, tone flat and unamused. “I won.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yes, I would like very much for that to never happen again to either of us.”

There is a muffled voice on Naoto’s end of the line and Souji hears what might be a hand covering the receiver. Naoto says something in return, though Souji doesn’t catch it. A few seconds pass before Naoto returns. “I’m afraid I have to leave now, Senpai. Would it be alright for me to text you during lunch to check on you?”

Souji feels the edges of his mouth stretching upwards, just slightly. He can’t remember if he’s ever smiled as much as he has in recent months. “If you want to,” he replies. “I’ll be okay, though; I just need to eat something.”

“Please do.” A sigh. “Take care, Senpai.”

“You, too.”

Naoto makes one last short noise of affirmation before the line disconnects and Souji is left to stare down at the call’s time stamp on his dimly glowing screen. 7:38. He’ll be late if he wants to try and make it to school.

He isn’t going to.

Looking up at the room around him he is surprised to find the morning light has started to fill it properly – more gold now than blue or pink. It’s brighter than yesterday, when it was a pale, sickly yellow reflecting the way his body felt like lead and his head like poison. He stretches his arms upwards, grunting as several things pop. Maybe today will be better, he thinks; maybe his mind got its fill of blackness over the past 48 hours and will leave him alone today.

Deciding that a good place to start would be finally acknowledging how empty his stomach is, Souji pulls himself to his feet and braces himself against the back of the couch as the waves of dizziness roll over him. He lets them pass, then pushes off the couch, shaky and weak. He’s glad it sounds like no one else is home – he’d hate to try and explain why he was hugging the wall on his way down the stairs. He steels himself, plants his weight on the balls of his feet as best he can, and slowly starts to make his way down towards the kitchen.

He only pauses once for breath at the bottom of the stairs, taking the opportunity to change his newest friend’s name in his phone from “Shirogane-kun” to “Naoto”.

He feels along the bond of the Wheel of Fortune arcana and smiles at the newfound strength glowing back at him.

---

Souji expects school the next day to be an awkward affair, and to some degree it is. Thankfully no one outside the IT seemed to really notice his terrified escape two days prior; or, at least, no one outside his friend group says anything. He does, however, catch a few whispers floating around as he passes certain groups of people – whispers that sound suspiciously like they’re about the cross dressing pageant and how “good” he looked on stage, usually from tight clusters of giggling girls or between the odd pair of jittery-looking guys. He does his best not to listen.

The real unease, though, sets in when he slips into his seat in the classroom and Yukiko, Chie, and Yosuke – who is here early for once – all turn to look at him. He tries to give them a reassuring smile but it feels just as forced as it actually is. Yosuke especially seems unconvinced.

Luckily the teacher walks in just as Souji feels the back of his head starting to smoke from how intensely Yosuke is staring, so he’s spared having to face his partner just yet.

Unluckily, this just means that by the time lunch rolls around, Yosuke wastes no time in poking Souji’s shoulder to get him to turn around. Slowly, Souji does so, and fixes his best friend with a shaky half-smile. He’s so tired of his nerves running at full capacity.

“Hey,” he says, a little less steady than he’d like.

Yosuke raises a brow at him. “Hey, yourself. What the hell, man? Why didn’t you text me back?”

Besides them, Yukiko nods in agreement and Chie opens her mouth to join the conversation.

Souji doesn’t wait for her to speak. “Did Naoto tell you what happened?” It’s partially a stalling tactic – something he hates being so good at anymore – and partially to see what they think went down so that he can build a believable story off it. Naoto had messaged him during lunch the day before, as they said they would, and given him a rundown of the excuse they had spun for him, but he doesn’t want to just play off that. Yosuke is too observant for his own good sometimes, and his ego is fragile enough that Souji knows he’ll need to be extra careful when trying to lie his way around his best friend’s suspicion.

It’s Yukiko that answers. “Naoto-kun said you went home because you weren’t feeling well, and that was why you weren’t at school yesterday.” She tilts her head, dark eyes narrowing in concern. “But you disappeared so suddenly! You seemed fine before.”

“Yeah,” Chie exclaims, nodding vigorously. “One minute you were in the classroom with us and the next you were just gone!”

“And tearing down the hallway like the building was on fire. Seriously, bro, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move that fast.” A flicker of worry passes over Yosuke’s face before it settles back into the oddly pinched look he’s been wearing. He stares at Souji with creased brows and a downturned mouth. “And apparently you just left? You didn’t even stay to see the girls! I woulda thought you’d at least wanna cleanse your eyes after seeing Kanji in a dress.”

Souji feels his face turn stony. When Chie makes a noise of offence and smacks Yosuke in the back of the head, Souji makes no move to intercept.

Instead, he chooses to look at Yukiko when he speaks, as though he’s answering questions in turn. “I was fine for a while.” He has enough to work with, he thinks. Maybe. Naoto has laid the groundwork for him to (hopefully) weasel his way out of this without too many roadblocks. He chooses a middle path between lying (he doesn’t like lying to friends now that he has them) and the truth (because no, no, not in a million years, no) and works the half-truths through a set of carefully constructed loopholes. He’s become far too good at loopholes.

He tugs at his own expression until it resembles something sheepish. His nerves help it look more real. “I made the mistake of not eating anything yesterday because I was nervous.” (Not a lie.) “Naoto actually found me in the bathroom… throwing up stomach acid.” (Also not a lie, as long as he doesn’t tell them when Naoto found him in the bathroom.) He looks away and rubs at a spot just behind his ear. He’s aware that it makes him look embarrassed – which is fine – but it also gives him an excuse not to keep eye contact.

Chie and Yukiko both make sounds of distress, talking at him and over each other in their concern and he thinks he may have managed to fool them. He glances at Yosuke and, yeah, no, that’s not convincement looking back at him.

“So you bolted cuz you had to go throw up?” Yosuke asks, his voice thinly tinted with disbelief.

Lay it thicker, maybe I can shock him into buying it.

Souji nods. “I’m sorry I worried you,” he says to all of them, but directly at Yosuke to make sure his partner feels special here. He stifles a grimace at how manipulative he has to be – how much of a coward he knows he’s being. He hates this. “I screwed up and made myself sick. By the time I got home I was in such bad shape that all I could do was lay down and pass out. I didn’t even wake up until yesterday morning.”

Again, it’s not technically a lie, even if he more disassociated than “passed out,” and he doesn’t actually remember anything from his panic attack. He’s aware that when the story gets around to the kohai, Rise will likely blame herself for insisting he participate in the pageant. A tiny peek over at Yukiko and Chie’s faces tells him that they’re feeling a little guilty, too. He hates this. He hates it.

And he especially hates the tiny little piece of him that whispers, “good.”

Trying to swallow the guilt in his own gut, Souji places his hands on his knees and bows low in his seat. It’s the last card he can play without despising himself entirely, and the final touch to what he hopes is a believable enough story.

Chie says something to him that Souji only barely listens to, while Yukiko puts a hand to her mouth and gives him a look like a sad puppy as he slowly sits up. Yosuke, however, seems unsure. His mouth is open slightly like he wants to say something, and he looks torn between worry and confusion.

Deflect. Distract.

Souji puts on a self-depreciating smile. “I’m really sorry, Partner,” (because he knows Yosuke is weak to the nickname), “I left right after Naoto found me. I would have said something but I was afraid I’d have to answer to Kashiwagi if she caught me trying to leave.” He twists his face into something that might be a non-verbal “yikes.”

And that’s what does the trick.

Yosuke’s expression switches to a more exaggerated version of Souji’s own. “Oh god. Smart thinking, man, she probably would’ve made you stay even if you’d throw up on her.” He shudders. “Her in a swimsuit is gonna haunt my nightmares forever.”

Souji actually balks at that. “Swimsuit?” has asks, genuinely aghast as he looks to Chie for confirmation. Oh. Well hell, now he feels even worse for leaving Naoto to their fate the other day.

Chie nods. “Yeah, we had to go up there in swimsuits and dresses and everything. It was humiliating.”

The way Souji’s face contorts in unbridled, empathetic discomfort is completely real and completely involuntary. “I am so sorry.”

Yukiko looks at him, puzzled. “Why? You didn’t sign us up.” She and Chie both shoot Yosuke a look that could curdle blood.

“Oh come on!” Yosuke sputters in response. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

Something tightens in Souji’s chest and, not for the first time, he wishes he had the courage to shut Yosuke’s bullshit down. But he doesn’t, so he doesn’t, and the trickle of self hate from earlier drips just a little bit faster.

Souji bites down hard on the inside of his cheek.

“At least everything you wore was meant for girls,” Yosuke is saying, holding his hands up as though trying to placate a snarling dog. It seems to be going about as well as expected.

He turns his head to shoot Souji a look that says ‘back me up’ but Souji simply raises an eyebrow at him. He might not be brave enough to tell his best friend off for being a prick, but he also has no desire to get pulled into the hole Yosuke is digging right now.

Yosuke seems to understand that Souji isn’t going to help him, because his face is distinctly paler when he turns back to the girls and says, “You wanna talk humiliating, us guys had it so much worse in drag!”

Wrong move.

Yosuke lets out a squawk as the girls rightfully begin to tear into him like feral cats; Chie with her fist and Yukiko with words like daggers. Souji lets it happen.

Silently, he digs out his bento and tries very hard not to be bitter. About the way Yosuke’s words leave a weird hot-stinging sensation in Souji’s chest, about how no one seems inclined to apologize for signing him up for the pageant; just… everything.

He squashes the thoughts back down before they can affect his outward expression. It’s fine, it’s okay, everything is okay; he doesn’t feel childishly irritated over the whole damn situation. He just wants the subject dropped.

“I should go apologize to the others,” he says as he stands. No one seems to really hear him, but Yukiko does spare him a nod as he passes. Chie is too busy digging her knuckles into Yosuke’s scalp to notice him leaving.

He heads out the door, bento in hand, and starts in the direction of the stairwell. He really does plan on apologizing to Kanji and Rise at some point today – and Teddie, too, of course, though Souji stills feels shaky at the thought of talking to him just yet – but for now he really just wants to find Naoto. He hopes they like onigiri; out of all his friends, Naoto is the only one he hasn’t yet had a chance to make lunch for, and food will be a good way to start thanking them properly now that the chaos has mostly died down.

It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with Souji finding his own appetite gone for the third time in several days.

---

Lunch with Naoto is a welcome break from the tension of his own classroom. He tries to apologize in person – because it’s more polite than over the phone – but Naoto doesn’t let him. Instead, they wave away his attempt with a light flush on their face and pull down their cap to hide it. It doesn’t quite work. Still, the air between the two of them is surprisingly easy to breathe and Souji feels the last of the jitters drain from his limbs.

They talk a bit. It isn’t for very long, since Souji had spent the first third of the lunch period spinning his not-story for Chie, Yukiko, and Yosuke, but the conversation is easier than he’s used to and he realizes with a kind of happy warmth that it’s because he isn’t having to hide. He doesn’t need to keep his voice in check, keep it purposefully low and quiet, so he’s actually able to talk a little more than he usually does and not worry what will happen if he lets his vocal chords do as they want. He’s practiced for years at this point, anyway, so the danger is minimal, but sometimes, sometimes his throat starts to hurt when he tries for a tone just the wrong side of comfortable.

He’s even managed to regain some of his appetite by the time the end of lunch rolls around and together, he and Naoto make a decent-sized dent in the humble bento. (It turns out that, yes, Naoto does in fact like onigiri, and that the seasoned rice with tuna is their unexpected favorite.) Naoto thanks him but he turns the tables and waves their thanks away in a similar fashion to what they’d done with his apology. They part with plans to spend lunch together again before the week is over and Souji finds he’s wearing the same small, genuine smile that only seems to come out because of Naoto.

He’s almost late getting back because he actually runs into Rise on the way to his classroom and takes the opportunity to apologize to her, too. She does start to blame herself, just like he thought she might, but a well placed smile that he knows makes her blush and a few words of reassurance have her giving him a watery smile in return. He makes it back just in the nick of time with one more friendship smoothed over.

The second half of the day is… interesting. Things seem to have gone back to relatively normal between him and Yukiko and Chie. Chie asks him how it went right before the teacher walks in and Souji flashes her a quick thumbs up. She grins.

No, everything is fine with the girls; it’s Yosuke that appears to still have issues. On any other day his best friend would be poking him in the back with the top of a pencil, tapping him in the side with a note he was passing, whispering snarky commentary about something one of their teachers says, but today…

Souji wants to ask just how badly Chie knuckled him, but he thinks that may be the least of the reasons why Yosuke isn’t interacting like he normally does. A lump forms in Souji throat that refuses to go away no matter how many times he tries to swallow it down.

It takes forever but the final bell eventually rings and, nervous as he is about, well, everything anymore, Souji slides around in his seat to give his partner a smile. He tries to make it as real as he can, calling on all the good things he feels about Yosuke and tucking his earlier frustrations away for the time being. As much of an ass as Yosuke can be, he’s still Souji’s best friend, and Souji would very much like that dynamic back now, if possible. He misses normal.

Just as he opens his mouth to ask if Yosuke wants to walk home together, the other boy stands and slings his bag over his shoulder. Yosuke hurries out of the room, only pausing briefly to turn around and walk backwards while flashing Souji a grin that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I gotta get ready for work, I’ll see ya later, Partner!” And then he’s dashing out the door with one last, “I’m glad you’re better, dude!”

It hurts a bit, like a bruise he accidentally smacked that now throbs a dull rhythm. But, he supposes he might deserve it after the scare he gave everybody, and it wouldn’t surprise him if Yosuke were still upset about Souji not letting him know he was alright. He also can’t actually say his partner doesn’t have an after-school shift, so in the end Souji resigns himself to that little spark of pain and vows to text Yosuke later before he goes to bed. Maybe he’ll bring another lunch to share tomorrow. Just to be safe.

He stays and talks to Yukiko and Chie for a few minutes before Yukiko remembers that she has to go help set up for a large business dinner being held at the inn that night. Chie offers to walk with her and Souji bids them both farewell.

The biggest surprise of the day, however, is finding Kanji waiting by his shoe locker, looking more than a little trepidatious.

At first Souji thinks it’s about his disappearing act the other day; after all, Kanji is the only schoolmate he still owes an apology to. (Teddie is, again, a different matter altogether.) So Souji puts on the appropriate facial expression and readies himself to repeat the story one more time.

“Kanji, hi,” he says, nodding when his friend looks up at his approach.

Kanji stands up straighter from where he’s been leaning against he side of the lockers, but he keeps his arms across his chest like a shield. “H-hey, Senpai.” He looks away and doesn’t say anything more.

Taking that as his cue to start, Souji politely tilts his head and puts on the familiar sheepish expression. “I should apologize—“

“You busy right now?”

Souji blinks stupidly. He closes his mouth with a quiet ‘click’ and takes a second to recover from being cut off and thrown wildly off-balance.

Kanji flushes. “Sorry, Senpai, I just…” He clears his throat and looks back up, shoulders squaring. “I gotta talk to somebody about somethin’ and you’re kinda the only person I trust with it.”

Souji’s eyes go impossibly wider. He feels his brows somewhere up near his hairline and absently wonders where his perfect control over his own face went. “I…” he starts, still not entirely reoriented. He quickly switches gears and tries to tuck the confusion away to make room for Friend Mode. “O…kay?”

Well. It’s something. He clears his throat and stars again, the smallest of frowns creeping along his mouth. “Is everything alright? You know I’ll help in any way I can.”

Kanji gives him nothing but a stiff nod and poorly concealed nerves.

Souji keeps a tight leash on his expression. “Okay, well, let me get my shoes and we can walk together?” he tries. He not sure if he should be anxious or not but whatever Kanji needs him for, Souji knows that he’ll at least feel more at ease somewhere further away from school.

“Oh!” Kanji startles a little and steps far enough back that Souji can get to his locker. “Right. Sorry.”

Five minutes later sees them passing through the school gates, side by side in silence.

Without a clear destination, Souji simply steers them towards the floodplain. If the little seating area is free then that’s where he plans to take them; it’s a familiar enough place that he feels comfortable talking there, but also has plenty of open air so he can make a hasty – but polite – escape should he need to. He doesn’t like that his first reactions to half his friends these days have been self-debates on whether or not he can outrun them.

Kanji keeps fidgeting as they walk, like his fingers are tracing out knitting patterns to keep his mind busy. Souji doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Kanji so jittery when Naoto wasn’t nearby for his friend to sweat over. Their mutual crush is adorable in how obvious it is to everyone but them and Souji hopes one of them will make a move some day. They would make a good couple.

Matchmaking aside, Souji wonders if maybe he should try his apology once more – if only to break the cacophonous silence. He’s had more than enough silence from his own parents, thanks; he doesn’t like it from his friends.

The thought cuts a deep path through Souji’s chest and he grinds his teeth against it, though the pain is an old one and he’s long since grown accustomed to it. It’s been a while since his mind has turned to that particular dark corner.

(He tramples another thought before it can fully form – one that seems hell-bent on comparing certain old hurts with the newer ache of Yosuke apparently avoiding him.)

“I owe you an apology,” he says suddenly, his voice a bit too loud in his own ears. He turns his head to catch Kanji twitching like he’s been startled before looking over at Souji in confusion.

“Huh? What for?”

Souji keeps his features carefully schooled. “For what happened after the pageant. Running off and not telling anyone where I went.” He tilts his head and does not frown. “Freaking everyone out?”

“Oh, that.” Kanji rubs at the back of his neck. “I appreciate it, but you don’t gotta apologize to me, Senpai. Naoto and Rise both already filled me in.” He pauses to give Souji a long, appraising look. “How’re ya feelin’, by the way?”

That catches Souji off guard. It seems Kanji is just exceptionally good at that today. “I’m alright,” he says honestly. Once more, he avoids the word “fine” because that, to him, would imply more than just physical alright-ness and he just… doesn’t want to think about that anymore.

Kanji seems satisfied with his answer and turns back to watching the world in front of them. “Can’t say I wasn’t worried, ‘specially after seeing you bookin’ it down the hallway like that, but I figured you’d let someone know eventually.” He shrugs. “And if you didn’t me an’ Naoto were gonna go check out your house after school today.”

Souji actually chuckles at that, breath stuttering past his lips to form the sound. “So they told me.” He lets one corner of his mouth tug upward as he catches Kanji’s eye again. “Thank you. And I am sorry.”

Kanji flushes and looks away. “Nah, ‘s nothing.”

The rest of the walk is significantly less tense after that.

Subsequently, it’s also shorter than it had seemed a few minutes ago. They arrive not long after and Souji takes it upon himself to sit down and fold his hands over the tabletop, leaving Kanji to lean his hip against the opposite corner.

Well, here goes.

“Alright,” he says, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “What can I do to help?”

Kanji snorts, but it’s neither derogatory nor mirthful. He doesn’t look at Souji as he crosses his arms back over his chest. “Ain’t really somethin’ I need help with so much as I just need to... get it off my chest, ya know?” He frees one hand and makes a sharp, vague gesture near where his heart is. “I can’t keep it in anymore; I gotta tell somebody or I’m gonna go crazy and… well, I figured you’re the safest bet...”

Souji’s expression melts into something soft, warm, amiable. “Well thank you,” he says, genuinely a little touched, only for Kanji’s entire face to go cinnamon-red.

Kanji makes a noise of frustration, scrubbing furiously at his hair to hide his burning cheeks before just giving up and turning so that Souji is now staring at his back. “Damnit, that wasn’t—! UG.” He takes a moment to gather himself; Souji gives it to him. Eventually Kanji lets out a heavy breath and straightens up once more. He makes no move to turn around.

“Look, Senpai, you… You’ve always accepted me, yeah? You never treated me like I was some kinda delinquent or, or whatever Yosuke-senpai fuckin’ thinks I am—“

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Souji says, low and dark and steely. He feels the bitterness and self-dislike bubbling up from their deep-seated pools. Kanji is a good person – rough around the edges, yes, but still just a kid like the rest of them and a genuinely kind one at that. Souji hates how afraid he’s been of jeopardizing Yosuke’s opinion of him, of how he’s been too much of a coward to stand up for his younger friend and make Yosuke apologize for his homophobia. A team is only as good as its leader and Souji must really be a poor leader if he can’t even stop his own lieutenant from being a jerk.

It’s not just that you’re afraid of losing him as a friend, his mind whispers. You’re afraid of him finding out.

Souji glues his tongue to the roof of his mouth and clamps down on the horrible way his chest constricts.

Luckily Kanji is still facing away from him. “Y-yeah,” he agrees, oblivious to his senpai’s internal self-disgust. “Yeah, you’re cool like that. An’ that’s why you’re kinda my best bud.”

Oh, now that just makes Souji feel even worse. He’d forgotten that Kanji had told him that once, back when Naoto had first officially joined the IT, and hearing it again now is like a fist to the spine. He’s failed Kanji, he really has, he—

“And I mean! I know you an’ Yosuke-senpai are ‘partners’ or whatever, but I just… I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that I trust you, Senpai.” Kanji sighs, the line of tension in his shoulders giving way. He tucks his hands into his pants pockets and stares at something out over the grey-sapphire shimmer of the river below.

Souji swallows. “Kanji…”

He doesn’t know what to say. What can he say, besides another useless “sorry”?

But Kanji just shakes his head and leans his weight back on his heels. He looks up at the sky, or maybe just lolls his head back in resignation, like a man coming to terms with the thousand-foot-drop that awaits him.

Souji knows the feeling.

“I think,” he says – and it’s so quiet that Souji has to lean forward to try and hear him better. There is a pause as Kanji takes a deep, long breath and lets it out.

“I think I might be bi.”

Souji is floored. Of all the possible things that Kanji could have just said to him, Souji was very much NOT excepting that to be one of them. It comes so far out of left field that it actually shocks all of Souji’s dark and guilty thoughts into absolute silence.

The quiet rings out between them, stretching into an impossibly long handful of seconds. Souji needs to respond, he knows he needs to, can see the way Kanji’s shoulders have started to tighten and hunch, but for the first time in forever Souji’s mind is empty and he cannot remember how to form words with his tongue.

So he just blinks like an owl and breathes out a soft, “…Oh.” Because really, how else can he react?

Something about how he says it has Kanji tentatively turning halfway around to look at him. Kanji’s face is guarded, like he’s ready at any moment to throw up his bravado, his shields, and the vulnerability it exposes is enough to finally, finally snap Souji back into action.

A warm smile spreads over Souji’s features, hardly even bidden, and he leans back to sit more naturally upright. He lets the smile crinkle at the corners of his eyes. “Thank you for telling me, Kanji.” He keeps his voice light, calm, kind; he is completely honest when he glances away and says, “I know how hard it must have been to say it out loud.”

Kanji’s eyes widen in realization. “Senpai… You, too?”

Souji makes a sound somewhere between a cough and a wispy bark of laughter. It’s stifled, but his shoulders jerk with the veiled force of the noise and he matches Kanji’s gaze with a tired, understanding one of his own. “Not bi, no,” he says pointedly, cocking an eyebrow and hoping it’s visible beneath his hair.

Kanji lets out a shaky breath. “Oh,” he echoes. He slides down onto the bench across from Souji, almost like he’s a block of ice melting in the sudden sunlight. “So you’re…?”

“Yeah.”

They sit in companionable silence for a minute, each processing the conversation so far.

After a few beats, Souji tilts his head curiously and asks, “What made you want to tell me?”

Oh, that…

Souji immediately dislikes how that sounded and his face twists minutely at the sour taste the words leave on his tongue. He hastily adds, “I’m honored that you did, don’t get me wrong, but—“

“Why’d I pick now?”

Souji sucks part of his lip between his teeth and nods.

Kanji sighs and leans back on the bench – which looks horribly uncomfortable, considering there’s nothing for his back to rest against. He re-crosses his arms and looks up at a passing cloud. “I started figuring it out a while ago and it’s been buggin’ me ever since. Like, it’s too big a secret to keep by myself, ya know?”

Souji does know. Oh god does he know.

He nods again, even though Kanji can’t see it properly while looking elsewhere. Kanji seems to catch it, though, because he keeps going.

“And after all that shit with my shadow, I just… I dunno. I’m sick of tryin’a hide from myself, so I thought, hey, this is a thing about me, might as well accept it.” He pauses and shifts awkwardly, clearly trying to consider his next words. His eyes flick over to Souji once or twice but he quickly averts them again right after.

Souji waits. He refuses to make this any more difficult for his friend than it already is.

He has a hard time keeping the surprise from his face, though, when Kanji mutters, “Weirdest part is, I knew but it didn’t really hit me until the stupid pageant.”

“The pageant?” Souji blurts. “How?!” Everything in his head scrambles a little, and there is a moment where he’s just gaping at Kanji like a fish with his mouth trying to form shapes and failing miserably.

He not sure how two people could have such wildly different reactions to that living nightmare of a day.

Kanji actually laughs at his outburst – a bit awkwardly, but still a laugh. “Yeah, the whole thing sucked ass, didn’t it?” He scratches at this cheek. “Kinda liked my dress, though…”

“It looked good on you,” Souji mumbles, still not fully recovered.

Kanji flushes and glances away. “Thanks, Senpai. You uh, you looked good, t—“ He trails off as he looks back over at Souji, eyes widening and brows furrowing.

Souji’s making a face; he knows he is, there’s no way he isn’t when there’s a layer of frost creeping its freezing fingers over his heart. He can feel the stretch of his lips over his teeth in a twisting grimace that’s well beyond his own control. Don’t think about it, please don’t think about it...

Kanji coughs into his fist. “Uh, I mean, you always look good, Senpai.” His expression does something funny, like he’s just realized what he’d said, and he apparently just gives up trying to salvage it. Instead, he props his elbows up on the table and drops his face into his hands. “Fuuuuuuuuck! See? That’s my problem! Naoto always looks good and you always look good, and I can’t catch a break!” He ‘thunks’ his forehead down onto the hard wooden tabletop. Souji hopes he hasn’t hurt himself.

Kanji’s voice is muffled when he says, “That ain’t a confession, I swear, I just think you’re handsome, same as everybody else does.”

Oh.

OH!

Souji’s expression does a 180 and he can feel himself beaming. He’d been scared; after what Teddie had said, Souji had been expecting Kanji to say something similar, to say his bisexual realization had come about because of Souji in costume. (He suppresses a shudder at that.) But no. Kanji had called him “handsome” instead, which meant – awkward friendly attraction aside – Kanji had found him attractive as a guy. Not because he’d been dressed as something he wasn’t, Kanji had seen him at face value: a guy in a costume.

If he wasn’t so certain that Naoto would pistol whip him, Souji thinks he could dive across the table towards Kanji right now and kiss him.

He reins it in and settles for chuckling instead. “I’m flattered.” And he really kind of is. His eyes are fond as he adds, “I’m proud of you, too.”

Kanji sits back up again and flashes Souji a sheepish – albeit heavily relieved – grin. “You’re somethin’ else, ya know that, Senpai?”

Souji just beams brighter and gives him a noncommittal shrug.

Kanji exhales, the remaining tension bleeding out into the dirt below their feet. “Damn. It feels good to let all that out.” He laughs again, the sound light and relaxed. “I was gonna tell my ma first, but I think she already knows.”

Souji nods. His mouth turns imperceptibly downward and he says, with just a touch of chill, “A good mother usually does.” He tightens his face against the way it wants to crumple, and if there is a new ball of bitter thorns in his stomach then he chooses to leave it be.

Kanji thankfully doesn’t notice the way Souji’s expression has turned plastic. “Yeah,” he agrees, “and she’s said stuff before about ‘bringing a girl or a boy over for dinner’. I thought she was talkin’ about friends at the time but now I’m not so sure.”

He matches Souji’s gaze right as Souji manages to school his face back into something more natural. “I’m real glad I told you first, though.”

Warmth settles in on top of the thorny clot of pain and soothes the worst of the jagged edges. It’s still there – has been for years – but it’s easier to manage than it was a minute ago. Souji huffs through his nose, his quiet little not-laugh, and looks down at the table. Maybe he’s being selfish, but it makes him feel special in a way he thinks might be just what he’s needed.

“Me, too,” he says, and relishes in the feeling of fizzing, giddy brightness as the Emperor arcana jumps up another rank.

---

Souji goes home in a better mood than he ever expected to be. He makes dinner, watches TV with Nanako, manages to get a head start on the schoolwork he’d missed the day before. The only damper on his happiness is the fact that, despite Souji texting him several times throughout the evening, Yosuke has yet to answer back.

The sting from that afternoon returns and Souji is left frowning at his phone screen as he lies on his futon before sleeping. It’s… fine, he tells himself. I deserve this for scaring him like that. I’m overreacting.

He sets the phone aside and turns over, determined not to let it get to him. He’s asleep in minutes – well before midnight – and so doesn’t notice when the sky starts to open and drizzle gentle rain over top the resting world.

He doesn’t even stir when the clock strikes twelve and his television crackles to white-static life, a faceless monochrome figure peering out into his room with lightning-colored eyes.

#fanfic #fanfiction #persona 4 #p4 #souji seta #yu narukami #trans souji seta #trans male character #yosuke hanamura #kanji tatsumi #naoto shirogane #investigation team #trans!au #scars on my sleeve #caught in the grey #tw past abuse #tw dysphoria #tw self hate

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livefreeordie13 · 7 years ago

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Day 5 (When November)

Day 5 of @souyoweek2018 “Together or Separate”

I basically did both. It was hard to choose! Also yeah I’m a day late I’m a loser.

(When November)

Yosuke snapped his phone shut, frustratedly flipping a stray bang out of his eyes. He sighed. He hated when Yu didn’t pick up.

“What’s wrong, Yosuke?” Teddie asked with genuine concern - although, Yosuke wasn’t in the mood to be moved by it. Even when Teddie was being sweet his voice could reach impressively high levels of obnoxiousness.

“Nothing,” he groaned, a little more sharply than he intended.

Yosuke was being an ass. He knew he was. And yet, thinking that and knowing it was true somehow didn’t magically help. Just like trying to understand that his Tokyo boyfriend was busy about ninety-percent of the time didn’t help. Just like when Yosuke breathed and tried to remember all the important things - all the times Yu had told him he loved him, that this was only temporary, that he was always thinking of him and missing him. He believed him. Right? He definitely believed the guy he trusted more than anyone alive, more than anyone he’d ever known.

Definitely.

… Didn’t think Yu was getting sick of him.

Nope.

“Oh, Yosuke, don’t be sad. It’s 50¥ mushroom day at Junes! I wonder who will sell more today,” Teddie taunted, putting his hand to his chin in consideration. “Hm, will it be the lowly prince of disappointment, or will it be moi - the talented, fuzzy, and bear-markable Teddie?” He concluded by dramatically touching all of the fingertips on his right hand to his chest.

Yosuke stared at him in astonishment for several seconds. Finally, he sighed yet again and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers, unable to choose which part of his speech to pick apart first.

He had eventually settled on, “Just shut up, Ted,” when his phone vibrated to life in his hand.

It was Yu. He flipped the phone open immediately. “He~y, partner!” he sang, silently willing himself to control his own stupid voice.

“Hey, Yosuke,” came Yu’s calm, crisp voice on the other line. “Sorry I missed your call.” Yosuke was a touch relieved his partner actually sounded aggravated for a change.

“Aw, that’s okay, man. Don’t worry about it; I know you’re busy.” Teddie poked him and Yosuke shoved the boy away.

Yu seemed to hesitate before he responded. “Y-yeah, but still, I …”

Yosuke waited, and subconsciously held his breath when Yu sighed deeply.

“I hate missing your calls. They’re important to me.”

He swallowed, trying to smother the butterflies and get his voice to work. He was an idiot. Yep. Still an idiot after a year and half. Six months into dating Yu and he still had the nerve to doubt this guy? Well … okay, in Yosuke’s defense, it wasn’t exactly Yu he doubted.

“O-oh, well …” he mumbled, completely unsure how to respond to that. Should he make fun of him, or pick on himself? Should he try to flirt? “T-that’s, um …” He swallowed, muttering softly, “That’s nice to hear.”

Crap, he was being sentimental! He grimaced and hoped Yu didn’t pick up on the emotional twinge in his voice. He was in front of Teddie; he couldn’t deal with this right now.

Fortunately for him, Yu chuckled discreetly and changed the subject right away. “I was just talking to my parents. They said it was fine for me to come down in November for a few days.”

Yosuke’s heart leapt. “Really?!” He took a few steps away from the railing he’d been leaning against as though he were chasing those words. “That’s awesome! So you’ll be down for your birthday?”

“And Nanako’s.”

“Oh - yeah, right! Nanako-chan’s, too.” Yosuke laughed, blushing and turning his body away from Ted a little more so the boy wouldn’t see it. He barely caught Teddie shrugging and prancing off out of his peripheral.

“Happy to hear you’re excited. What kind of, um …” Yu trailed off, voice dropping quite low. Yosuke stepped forward again, hoping that would somehow allow him to hear better.

“W-what,” Yosuke laughed. He glanced around to place where Ted was and spotted him by the grill stand all the way across the food court. He wasn’t getting into his bear suit yet (although, he ought to be), but he looked pretty distracted.

He bit his lip as he waited for Yu to continue, his stomach beginning to twist up.

“What kind of present are you going to get me?” Yu’s voice was so low and muted Yosuke wasn’t sure if he’d even heard him correctly.

“‘Present’?”

“If it helps, I already know what I want.”

… Oh.

Yosuke’s face fell. His cheeks flushed and his heart immediately began pounding, the blood rushing towards various … extremities. Thank god Teddie was nowhere near him right now.

Yosuke tried to chuckle but it came out more like a jittery whine. “D-dude-”

“-Want me to tell you?” Dammit, how did Yu sound so composed right now?

Yosuke stilled and licked his lips.

“A fish.”

There was a long pause where Yosuke’s mind and Yosuke’s body weren’t in sync. One was confused, the other was extra confused.

“A fish.”

“Yeah. For the tabby outside Dojima’s. He’s still there, right?” Yu sounded like he might get worked up into a panic at that last sentence, so Yosuke rushed to reassure him.

“Y-yeah! Yeah, he is. I’ve been feeding him, partner, don’t worry.” He laughed and adjusted his clothes, his jacket. Even though it hadn’t been that hot out today, he found that he was sweating. He pulled at the collar of his v-neck to try to cool himself down. “Dammit, Yu …” he swore, a little ineffectually, but he hoped Yu understood him nonetheless.

“What? What did you think I was going to say?” Oh, Yu was not about to laugh!

“Sh-shut up! Jerk. You know I’m lonely over here.”

This time, Yu did laugh. “Well, I’m lonely, too,” he argued.

“I guess at least we’re lonely together, huh?”

He heard Yu take a measured breath and keep it. “Yeah,” he said, in a voice Yosuke had long ago figured out to be the one Yu used when he was trying to keep something from him, a hidden pain he couldn’t bear to expose. “Until November, right?”

He swallowed and tucked his hand under the arm he was using to hold the phone. “You bet.”

There was a comfortable silence between them until Yosuke continued.

“So what do you actually want for your birthday? I’m not sure a fish will do it, partner.”

“Hmm,” Yu’s voice hummed on the other end. It reverberated into the speaker and its soothing rumble made Yosuke’s heart whirl. He suppressed a shiver. Damn, he missed him way too much. “What if we just …”

Yu never finished his sentence, and Yosuke didn’t ask him to.

“… Yeah.” He smiled into the receiver and hoped Yu could tell, somehow. “Sounds good.”

fin

Epilogue:

“Yosuke~! It’s time for work!”

“Alright, already, I’m coming!!”

(I’m not really happy with the way this one turned out but like hell if I’m going to be TWO days behind.)

#souyoweek2018 #souyo #work #one day i'll learn how to do this whole writing thing #but today is not that day #2 more to go #goddamn how do you people do this #someone bring water

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depressedmfxn · 7 years ago

Text

Episode 1

[Introduction]

“Hi! I’m [Name] it's so nice to meet everyone!

“Really? You did it well lovely author, You make me the angel of this story..” Author jumps on his sit thinking what have gotten on [Name]’s sudden behavioural act, “Just get on with it!” He flashes his glasses as [Name] pop her bubblegum then get on with her class...

“That’s better” Author exhales lovely as he watches [Name] from a part...

“2nd-year student [Name] [Last Name] form Class 2-A?” I raised my hand signalling that I’m here, “Great, Now! Boys on to your stations! Girls take precautions!” My teacher warns us then we all headed to where the place in the gym is safe, “Okay, Time to listen to some bois!” I get my phone then plugged my earphones then let the magic begins...

While I was listening I watch my classmates play on the gym, Whatever. you didn’t get higher grades on this, you are just impressing these immature people over there, By the way... I’m almost very. Very. Far away from those ear breakers... I just wanted some chill, not with those fancy lovely doodling shits.

“Score!” I heard some screams making the game calm down a little, I even saw Igarashi playing cool with Nanashima, Seriously? Those dudes? They are gay for each other at shits. I wonder if someone ships gay acts like me, Thou I’m a very picker when it comes to shipping, About those two earlier? I don’t ship them, They aren’t a chemistry...

I take my left earphone off them listen to them for a while, Cause just maybe. My teacher will notice me being so far away in her class... They are actually kinda you know, Extroverted species thing? “Oh?” I stand up because of a sudden crowd going around the ends of the gym. “Serinuma!” I heard Nanashima called her, Oh yeah, Serinuma... I completely forgot about her...

“Come on let’s take her Igarashi!” I looked at Igarashi who seems to disagree on carrying Serinuma due to her statement. “Just take her there!” I scream out loud making them looked suspicious at me. “Then help me instead you!” I jump out then get on with this, I can’t let any of the teacher witness this, I just don’t wanna get lectured!

“On a count of three” Nanashima checked on me.

“Hm!” I agreed

One

Two

Three!

We both lifted Serinuma perfectly then head out to the gym, Why does Igarashi didn’t help us? While heading I can’t stop checking at Nanashima’s breaking noises, “Hey? Are you okay? I can take it from here?” I hope he feels shame on himself, “Are you kidding me!? Just because you act so cute you can carry her easily!” He protested, Oh good thing, He’s soft...

We slowly placed her down in bed, “There you go!” I placed the blanket letting her feel comfortable. As I walk out I suddenly feel super gelly, “Oh shit!” I fall hard letting my body sleep on the floor, I was just outside the door, “I can’t believe she went out first before-” I just looked outside didn’t care that Nanashima and An Unknown student let their shoes meet my blouse.

“[Name]!” Nanashima bend down sliding his hand to my back then carry me inside, “What happen to you!” Another student checked on me, While I never bother to talk, I can’t talk because My damn legs were so numb! Letting me cry mentally... “Okay, just let her rest next to Serinuma,” I can sense Nanashima worriedness on me, Oh... Fuck your eyes Nanashima...

“Hey Miss, if you don’t start talking then I can’t help you with something!” I rolled my eyes on a wonderful introduction with this midget, I slid my hands to my legs, signalling that it was fucking numb! I looked at him when he starts to blush. WHAT THE FUCK!

“I-it’s numb, Y-you d-deep-shit...” I calm myself down...

“Ow! I’m very sorry! I will take the ointment on the cabinet!” He runs away letting me shared on Serinuma’s pillow, You sure thank me later you know... “This will be cold at first interaction with your legs but the numbness will be gone after it...” I nodded then he starts putting on his hand. I closed my eyes then wait for it...

At first, it was so slimy, then after it started to cold making me moan, “Shit!” I want to cover my feet but levitating it making it hurts, Damn this is so traumatizing, Letting a man touch my legs then hearing my moans, “There...” He finished, I’m thinking that he has a bleeding nose. I just trying to find my sleep instead. Good thing its pe... cause Mygad! He’s just gonna fold my jogging pants...

After 1 hour...

I rolled over and feel like I’m hugging a hugged teddy bear, But then I feel something moving on the teddy bear making me sit up, “Oh! [Name] Your awake!” I looked seeing “Hi, Nanako...” I feel my hair has gone bad. I quickly ruffled it away, then stand up...

“Oh! [Name]! Thank you!” I irritated then looked at Serinuma, “What’s wrong?” She asked, “Oh nothing, It just made my legs so numbed so bad...” A-chan laughed nervously then talk about numbers, “I’m outta here..” I find my shoes then head outside, I closed the door seeing that guy again. bringing another student...

“You okay?” He asked but not looking at me...

“Yeah, Thanks...” I moved away then headed away from them.

Damn! this is an embarrassing day!~ T^T

I angry about that guy doing that to me, He’s such a pervert, He should have just told me to apply it myself, “Shut up!” I open the door at my class as my head is boiling. “[Name]!” I looked madly as Igarashi comes closer to me, “Why are you mad...” I madly closed the door back letting me walk over him, “Hey! Are you feeling better now?” Nanashima walks closer to Igarashi...

“First! My legs get numb all of sudden but now I feel better...” I zip their mouths then headed to my sit, “WHAT’S THE PERVERTS NAME ANYWAY! I WANNA KILL HIM NOW!”

I sleep on my table for a while, I sure hope that Serinuma is feeling better...

“[Name]-chan!” I heard A-chan’s voice making me cleared out my vision, “Yeah?” I yawn then stretched out, “You’re a heavy sleeper [Name]-chan!” A-chan pinched my ears making me slap her away, “Come on, I just got a “Sudden Tiredness” “ I elaborated on her, “I am really sorry [Name]-chan!” Serinuma bowed to me, “Oh it was nothing!” I moved my hands away then we headed out to school...

“Damn, those boys making my life a suffering hell!” I open my shoe locker to placed back the shoes from school to my own, “Serinuma-san!” I called her then locked the locker. “Yes?” She called, “Do you know an anime store to drop by?” Her mood glitters around making me turned back what I said...

As we walk around, Serinuma gladly explains the direction to went a close anime store from here, “Thank you for that! Well, I have to go!” I waved at A-chan and Serinuma, Well... Later time to buy some another set of Manga...

Following Days...

“Go for it, Levi! Kick Eren more!!!” I droll over my cellphone screen as I was on Episode nine on Attack on Titan, “[Name]-chan!” A-chan waved at my face, I growled at her then closed the episode letting her talk, “Serinuma has been absent in a week!” She falls her face on my table, I turned on my data checking on her update on Twitter.

“I know the reason why” I keep on scrolling as she updates an anime that involves a Shion character. “I guess that Shion died in one episode she’s watching making her depressed,” A-chan groaned on my table, “She will go to school soon...” I bring back the episode I was watching, I think I should really go back to my anime store for an update on SNK...

“I ship Ereri so much!!~” I keep my face normal but scrolling to find another wallpaper on my phone and those photos I’m finding we’re Ereri making me pee on my sit, “I should go outside to have my lunch,” I stand up leaving sleeping A-chan in class, “Wah! I’ll be drawing my ereri on my notebook as my cover!” I danced around the hallway due to the wonderful photos that surrounding my brain.

“I’ll have Eren sandwich with Levi dressing on it,” I laugh around the cafeteria to pick my repeated food, “Here you go,” The lady gave the plate and walk around to find a decent table.

I keep giggling silently on my phone, “Hey” Fuck... I immediately bring myself back to where people looked normal on me, “Yes!? Oh...” This shit, I finally meet you again...

“Can I sit here? They are already full,” I gestured that he should, I shoved the bread into my mouth aggressively like a lion eating a human sick so eagerly...

“If you were thinking differently about what happened in the past then I’m sorry,” I chugged my milk carton then drop draggers at him...

“You” I clenched my fist in front of him.

“It’s okay really, you didn’t wonder about it, I was about to thank you but due to my moody emotions, you thought I was angry but to be real? I was just happy...” I smiled at him, I let this slide but if this is done I will kill you...

“Really?! Well, I’m glad!” I didn’t look at him anymore as I keep thinking about what happened to my ships or scenarios if the anime store that I gonna visit ran of things that I needed the most...

“I’m Shinomiya Anyway...” My eyes scanned him, He’s not my classmates which brings me to kids, “First year?” I placed my head on my hand seeing that I’m bored with him...

“Y-yeah,”

“I’m [Name]”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you S-senpai...”

WHAT?! DID HE JUST CALL ME SENPAI!?!? AND BY THAT I MEAN IT WILL NEVER GET UNTOUCHED CAUSE SENPAI MEANS LIKE YOU WERE AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD, LIKE CRUSHES! WHEN YOU CALL HIM OR HER LIKE THAT MEANS YOU TWO WILL NEVER BE A-CHEMISTRY, NEVER TO NEVER!

“Yeah, Shinomiya-kun...” I stand up then prepare my leave. “It was a pleasure but I have a class to attend to...” I bowed politely then headed out, “I don’t know what I said that word but I hope it doesn’t change anything...

I silently walk into the class then I saw Serinuma, But I didn’t talk to her she seems to be busy... Not that the class has been so shocked that she lost weight, “Haayyy...” I placed my feet on to my desk then listen to my music, Since there is no teacher for a while.

“[Name]-chan!!” Someone jumped into my body as I fall to the ground Dammit! now my butt hurts thanks to these nostalgic breakers. “A-a-chan!?!? What’s wrong with you!” I pulled her away as tears keep falling in her eyes, “[Name]-chan...” I didn’t know what I supposed to do, “Y-yeah?” I tell her...

She just hugged me...

“Kae-chan just change!” She screams grabbing my earphones away, “So?” I cleared her, “WAH! You the only person who’s cool at her!” Like? Seriously? She doesn’t change, she just lost weight. The change is when her attitude change, and that’s when I will get shocked...

“Yahoo!!” End of class! That’s the best gift you can receive almost every day, “Bye Bye!” I waved at A-chan and Serinuma then date with myself like yeepyyy!~

“Miss [Last name]!” I stoned on my running motion, Why!?!? I didn’t do something today, but...but still! I deserve to go home! I have a war to battle for! Just please, I wanna go home... “Y-yes?” I shakily turned around seeing the handsome professor that I don’t familiar with...

“I have to do something can you help me out?” Damn! He sparks! Makes me droll, I looked at the class and mostly everyone is suddenly gone out like a ghost town... “H-hai!” Damn you [Name]

Timeskepppp!~

“Thanks for helping me out,” Really? You’re the teacher you should do those things not me, All I do is to check every assignment, think if they answer right on the essay and memorizing those ABCD’s to check their exams, Even a slightly wrong grammar at quiz making me so gelly at everything!~

“It’s a pleasure sir,” I smiled at him. “Hmm, Do you need anything? That’s all I can help you with?” Yes! That’s it! All of the stress has done has come to an end with MONEY!!!

“There is something but...” I think about it...

“Wait!” He screams holding both of my shoulders then lean me against the wall.

NO NO NO! I DON’T WANT IT! I PREFER ERERI INFRONT OF ME BUT NOT THESE!!!!

SOMEONE! SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEE!!

“What is it? You don’t have to be shy” Eh?? I must be crazy, I think I don’t fuel myself with some anime.

“I have this anime manga sale past by the mall! Could you at least help me to buy those series...” I’m doomed, My aura has been reached to level: Failure, But he gonna help me right?

He then steps backwards, Act like he’s gonna decline I’m preposition on this, But it’s okay, There’s no way he’s gonna accept this kind offer.

“Sure! Why not, Besides your the only person I know from cause has the same likes as me...”

WHAT!?!?! I HAVE CRUSH ON THIS TEACHER NO! BUT HE’S TOOOOO KAWWAIIIIII!!! I RATHER SHIP HIM WITH OTHER TEACHERS BUT THE WORDS HE SAID ARE GOLD!!!! OR DIAMONDS, BECAUSE NO ONE IN THE WORLD, CAN SAY THAT TO ME FOR SINCE!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I HAVE A CRUSH!!!

“Thank you sensei.” I bowed as he leads the way out on the building.

“So? Where is this you called, Anime store?” I laugh silently then pointed the direction where about to head.

“What are those you gonna buy anyway?” I danced around as we headed on our way, “Stop [Name]” I calm down a little bit, the good thing people didn’t witness anything that he’s my teacher. Due to his young age.

“Let’s go,” I get his hand then we both enter the store.

Attack on Titan Series

Keychains

Phone Cases

Notebooks/Pens

Ereri Photos and Levi’s Only

“Okay, Wow...” He was astonished at what the cart has been filed up, “What did you buy?” I checked him as he brings up a full set of jumpsuit of Rillakuma for two, “Who’s for another one?” He checks the plastic then.

“This medium one is for you... I wonder a gift of appreciation to what you did earlier... You see, I’m not the kind of teacher that didn’t repay back what student did to me. Unfortunately, I’m a shy teacher, I didn’t ask help so easily unless It was really needed, then there’s you... So...” He places the jumpsuit then grab the cart to the cashier. “And also this too...” I didn’t pay attention cause I was so madly in love with the scenery in the store like, I wanna buy them all.

“Come on now,” I grab the plastic bags that I can carry, “[Name] sure will love this when she ripped those off,” I laugh and about to his him but once the sliding door opens up reaveling the people I don’t wanted to see...

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aquarterasian1 · 7 years ago

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I wrote a quick thing in the persona chat earlier. Yosuke attends Yu’s funeral and its full of angst.

The funeral was exactly as he’d expected, dull and grey. Everything was dark and void of the colors Yu had brought to the town. It almost made Yosuke laugh, everything matched his partners hair. It was strange seeing everyone in something other than the vibrant colors he was so used to seeing them in. Even Teddie, who was always smiling so bright, had a solemn look. It was taking Yosuke all he had not to break down right there.

The turnout was much larger than he expected, but it didn’t surprise him. Yu never could leave someone alone when he saw they needed help. And help he did. He had helped him on several occasions, and that was something he’d always be grateful for. If it hadn’t been for him… Yosuke wasn’t sure what. Whatever it was, Yu had changed his life for the better. And now, he’d never get to tell him how much that meant to him.

He saw Nanako and Dojima walking in, Nanako’s face was riddled with tears. This wasn’t the first time they had suffered something like this, so Dojima hid his pain well, but Yosuke could tell he wasn’t doing well. When Nanako saw him and Teddie, she ran over to them and wrapped them in a hug. No words were exchanged, but what could they say at a time like this? Yosuke picked Nanako up so she could rest her head on his shoulder. He felt her burrow her head in his shoulder, the tears making her shirt wet. He gripped her tighter, partially to comfort her more, and partially to comfort himself. She shouldn’t have to go through something like this twice in her life.

After a few moments, Yosuke handed her back to her father and sat down in his place next to Teddie and his parents. The service went by in a blur, he wasn’t paying much attention, he was too busy trying not to scream. He watched as all his friends in the Investigation team went up to say a few words until it was finally his turn.

“I’ll be honest, when I first met Yu, I was incredibly jealous. He seemed to so quickly get used to life here. I was hoping I could relate to him, you know? Us both being from the city. But he wouldn’t give me the satisfaction. He wouldn’t let me have a sulking buddy. Instead, he made me realize what a great place Inaba truly is.” He realized he had already drifted away from what he had written on the notecards, but he realized he didn’t need a script to say what he was truly feeling.

“He became more to me than just a friend. He was… my partner. Someone I could talk to when I was feeling down, and that was more often than I care to admit. He introduced me to my best friends. And he gave me the happiness I had lost somewhere along the way.” The tears were flowing freely now, and he made no attempt to stop them. “I am truly honored to have known someone as great as him.” He had planned to say more, but he couldn’t. He returned to his seat, where he was greeted by the embrace of the investigation team.

That night, when he returned home, he sat in silence with Teddie in his room. Both of them were curled in a blanket together, waiting for midnight. They’d been doing this the past few nights. Hoping maybe just maybe Yu would show up on the screen. But there was nothing. Midnight passed, and the screen remained black.

“I guess… sensei really isn’t coming back.” Teddie said, barely keeping it together. Yosuke was silent for a few moments.

“No… but he’d hate seeing us this way.” he said. “I’m not saying we should forget him and move on, but we need to move forward. For him.”

“Yosuke…. you’re right.” Teddie said, finally regaining his signature smile. “I’ll do my beady best to live up to his expectations!” Even with his smile and newfound determinations, the tears were still streaming down Teddies face. Yosuke couldn't help but follow suit. Even if they were determined to continue living for him, it didn't hurt any less that he was gone. Yosuke pulled Teddie closer to him. They stayed that way until morning.

#persona 4 #yosuke hanamura #yu narukami #souji seta

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individuationfic · 6 years ago

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Seeking to Seize Chapter 13

AO3

They’re barely back from their camping trip when Kanji approaches Yu on his walk to school. In slow, clumsy JSL, he signs, ‘Shopping district busy. Case?’

Yu thinks back to the morning’s weather forecast and signs back, ‘It will rain tomorrow. We will check the TV then.’

Kanji nods, his face resolute, and their walk continues.

Something ugly twists in Yu’s gut. Sure, Kanji looks older than he is, but the reality is that he is the youngest member of the group. When Yu looks at him, and image of Nanako appears, unbidden, in his mind. He thinks about the little scars they all have but refuse to talk about; the cuts that are just a little too deep or a little too long for Dia or Diarama to heal. He thinks about the fear he feels when someone gets knocked out, how still they go, how disoriented they are when he forces the revival bead past their pale lips. He thinks about all the money he’s spent on bandages and salves and painkillers for when he and Yukiko are too trained to heal people with their magic.

Yu forgets, sometimes, that he and his friends are just kids. Then, when he remembers, he feel that they are missing out on a vital, carefree part of their youths. While he’s grateful for the addition of Kanji’s raw strength, he already mours that little bit of his childhood that is being ripped away.

All the more reason, Izanagi says in his mind, to catch this killer quickly. The faster you bring them to justice, the faster you can all return to your normal lives.

For once, Yu needs no extra prodding to agree.

Yosuke has been acting weird since the camping trip. Yu doesn’t have any concrete proof, but Yosuke has been fidgety, and he won’t look Yu in the eye anymore. Which is why, when the opportunity arises, he insists Yosuke accompany him and Kanji to warn the killer’s next victim.

The girls already having plans is very helpful; Kanji’s JSL isn’t good enough for him to interpret for Yu yet, so Yosuke needs to come for any communication to be effective. ‘Besides,’ he wheedles when Yosuke still looks unsure, ‘when else will you have an excuse to meet an idol?’

Finally, Yosuke agrees.

It’s not until Kanji chases the enormous crowd of admirers away from the tofu shop that Risette appears.

Yosuke’s heart rate picks up and he nearly cries out in relief. See? he wants to say to Kanji. I’m straight! Because even though she’s wearing an apron and a handkerchief that hides the top of her head, Yosuke can still see how silky her skin is, how puckered and pink her lips are, how her body dips and curves. Risette’s physique is about as far away from a guy’s as you can get, and if that can get Yosuke excited, he has to be straight.

But then.

Risette keeps looking at Yu.

Nothing too obvious, but there all the same. She looks up at him through her thick eyelashes while she rings up the tofu he buys, nibbles on her bottom lip, angles her body towards him.

There’s a pang of jealousy, stabbing at him like he stabs at Shadows with his kunai.

For the life of him, he can’t pinpoint which one he’s jealous of.

They stop the stalker, but it doesn’t work. Kujikawa Rise gets kidnapped.

Her Midnight Channel appearance is even more uncomfortable than Kanji’s, in Yu’s opinion. She keeps tugging on her bikini, showing more and more skin each time, and she promises to “bare it all” before the screen goes black.

He just barely resists the temptation to punch a wall. Damn it! he thinks, frustration manifesting in the form of angry tears. I really thought we had them this time!

As always, Izanagi is there to calm him. Do not fret. You have already saved two others. So long as you remain vigilant, you will rescue this girl as well.

Yu nods, screws his eyes shut, and takes a few deep breaths. You’re right. We can do this.

It’s a strip club.

Of course it is.

Yu counts himself lucky as they venture deeper and deeper into Kujikawa Rise’s dungeon. At least he can’t hear the music the others are complaining about. He even finds the pounding base he feels with his whole body a little comforting, if he’s honest.

Maybe, once Kujikawa Rise is safe again, he’ll ask to borrow Yosuke’s headphones.

Nanako sets up a Tanabata tree all by herself. Yu feels bad; he’d forgotten all about Tanabata in his rush to save Kujikawa Rise. He pats Nanako on the head, relishing in her bright smile, and writes I wish to become closer with my friends.

It’s a few days into the rain when the team finally gets to Rise.

They could have gotten here yesterday, but Yu insisted they all rest. He doesn’t feel comfortable confronting a powerful Shadow on anything less than their full health.

As it turns out, he was right to wait.

Because after they fight Kujikawa Rise’s Shadow and Himiko awakens, Teddie goes berserk.

Yu and Yukiko spend about half the fight swallowing chewing souls to keep their magic going. He knows how crucial healing is during a normal fight, and Teddie’s Shadow is brutal. He hits hard and takes damage like a tank. Plus, Yu’s pretty sure he’s going to have nightmares about this one; he is, by far, the scariest one they’ve seen so far.

Finally, the behemoth falls. Teddie, something having changed within him, leaves the group so he can recuperate, and they escort Rise back to Junes. They’re all exhausted, but Yu can feel the sense of accomplishment they share. We’ve done it again.

Was there ever any doubt? Izanagi asks.

The rain stops.

King Moron is dead.

Everyone is, of course, frantic. Was Rise a decoy? Is the killer growing more desperate? Could there be more than one killer? Gods, Yu doesn’t think he can handle two bad guys with Personae at once, so he hopes not.

The sense of victory they shared only a few days ago is gone, replaced with confusion and fear.

‘You should talk to Shiomi-senpai and Yuki-senpai,’ Yosuke signs to him. They’re all in the Junes food court, so JSL makes talking about the investigation easier. Kanji is doing his best to keep up, and Rise looks completely lost, though. A more private base would be preferable, but none of their houses has a TV big enough to go through, so Junes it is. ‘They’re Persona users, right? Maybe they know something.’

Yu agrees, but… ‘Exams are coming up, and after they’re over it’s summer break. We need to decide what we want to ask them soon.’

Apparently tired of being left out of the conversation, Rise says, ‘Has anyone tried to see Teddie after his fight?” Her question is vague enough that anyone passing by wouldn’t be able to glean anything from it, for which Yu is grateful. She very well may be taking over as their navigator, after all, so a little bit of intuition outside of the TV is a good trait.

Chie and Yukiko both shake their heads. “We couldn’t get in a few days ago,” Yukiko says, worrying at her lip with her teeth. “We tried for ten minutes, but we had to leave when people started to notice us.”

Yu signs to Yosuke, ‘Ask Rise if she feels up to going in today.’ Yosuke does, and Rise’s face lights up, but before she can answer, Yu catches sight of a familiar red-blue-yellow figure.

Later, while they’re walking home, Yu signs, ‘Has Teddie been calling me his sensei this whole time?’ and Yosuke laughs, and everything feels almost normal again.

#individuation #ao3fic #persona series #persona 4 #cover

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harperlace-blog · 8 years ago

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Persona: The Nightmare Witch Chapter 1

When Nanako Dojima returns to Inaba after a year away, she learns that nightmares have been plaguing the town. Eventually, she finds herself thrown into an investigation to not only save the town, but her father as well. Set 10 years later. A story of bonds, the past and facing your fear.

Monday, April 10, 2021

Samaru City, train station.

It was the brink of dusk but the city showed no signs of rest. Pedestrians and cars buzzed left and right, either on their way home or venturing out for night life. Shielding her eyes from the intense orange glow of sun, Nanako Dojima shouldered her way through a busy sidewalk. A bit behind schedule but the teenage girl managed to catch a spot at the railway platform to wait for the next train.

"Did you hear about that big drug ring?"

"It's all over the damn news, how wouldn't I?"

Nanako lifted her gaze from her cellphone to overhear a conversation between two men in business suits.

"Imagine the loads of cash those guys are making..."

"H-hey, you're not trying to imply something, are you?"

"No. But honestly, money can solve a lot of your problems."

"Seriously, man? Is that what you really think?"

Right on queue, her awaited train slowly pulled up to the platform and the doors slid open. Nanako turned back to her phone and typed in a quick text message:

Dad-

Train just came. See you in a few!

Picking up her suitcase, Nanako joined the crowd to board the train and found a somewhat cramped spot in the corner. She turned her head to the window to gaze at the skyscrapers one last time before the doors closed shut. It only took several minutes before Nanako slowly dosed off.

When Nanako came to, she was standing to what appeared to be the interior of a limousine. The color blue literally emitted itself from the cushions of the seats to the lights on the ceiling.

Am I...dreaming?

Nanako turned her attention to the two figures that sat inside. A woman with elegant blond hair and in blue uniform, much similar to a flight attendant, sat cross legged. She gestured Nanako to have a seat across from them.

As she hesitantly sat down, Nanako couldn't keep her eyes off of the sharply contrasted figure next to the woman. His elbows sat on the table before him, chin rested on his folded hands and a nose that easily reached a foot long. His pointed ears reached to his bald head. The only thing that was normal about him was his black suit, similar to a butler.

"Welcome to the Velvet Room," the mysterious gentleman greeted, which jolted Nanako a bit. He paused, as if analyzing Nanako's thoughts.

"Why, we've been expecting you. For quite some time, I must say."

He paused again, studying Nanako thoroughly. He suddenly let out a chuckle. "My, you have a most unique destiny lying ahead of you."

Unique destiny? What's that supposed to mean? Actually, the better question is...who are these people?

"Let me introduce myself." The man looked up with unblinking eyes that fixated on her. "I'm Igor. I'm quite pleased to make your acquaintance."

He then gestured his hand to the woman next to him, "This is Margaret, my assistant. She is a resident of this place, like myself."

"Yes, welcome." Margaret smiled warmly.

"You see, this place exists between dream and reality, mind and matter," Igor continued. "Generally speaking, only those who have forged a contract can visit this room."

In a blink of an eye, a contract appeared before Igor.

"However, what I am speaking about is not a physical contract such as this." The contract vanished with a wave of his hand. "In actuality, you have a formed a promise in the past. To fulfill the promise, you will acquire my help to hone your unique ability."

Promise? Ability?

For some reason, Nanako found it hard to speak.

Suddenly, Igor swiped his hand over the table to reveal a set of tarot cards. Nanako leaned forward to get a better look. 21 cards laid before him, each with a symbol of what appeared to be double-sided mask.

"That's enough about the past. Let's take a look into your future, shall we?"

Igor flipped over one card to reveal its hidden side and analyzed it closely.

"Interesting. A star, in the upright position. I see renewed hope and fulfillment in the future but only if you endure the trials and tribulations that lie ahead of you." Igor proceeded to flip another card.

"A moon, also in the upright position. This card represents hesitation and mystery in the immediate future. Hmm…"

Nanako sat back in her seat, clinging onto his every word. Even if this was a dream, her subconscious must be telling her something, right? She read something about it in a book once. Although, Nanako couldn't possibly fathom why she would dream up this odd duo.

"In the upcoming days, you will encounter a great mystery, one that is deeply rooted to your past. You will then awaken a great power within you, after which you will return here."

Igor gestured around him, indicating the Velvet Room.

"There will be a great turning point in your destiny. Should the mystery go unsolved, you will have to face the consequences of a broken promise," He continued. "My duty is to provide assistance to ensure that does not happen."

Igor didn't falter his smile and Nanako felt a little uncomfortable under his stare. She felt like her mind was being analyzed and picked apart.

"We shall attend to the details another time. Until then, farewell…"

Then all went to black.

"Thank you for riding with us. In just a few moments, we'll reach our final stop at Yasogami station."

Nanako jolted awake at the sound of the intercom above her.

"Please prepare to exit," the conductor instructed over the intercom.

Nanako tried to re-collect herself, still shaken from her dream. It...was a dream right? For some reason, she was doubting herself. It was just so weird.

Nanako shook her head and reached over to the compartment above her for her bags. The view from the window was nothing but long, green hills illuminated by the moonlight.

"It's so beautiful," Nanako said to herself, feeling her heart clench at the sight of her home town once again. The city may be colorful and exciting, but nothing can take her breath away than the gentle quietness of Inaba. The image of her father suddenly flashed in her mind. She missed him so much.

The train had reached a full stop and she hurried toward the exit. Upon stepping onto the platform, Nanako looked behind her, curious to see anyone else exiting with her until she remembered that she was the only one heading for Inaba. Not that it surprised her, she knew very well that her hometown was desolate but had garnered quite a reputation in the last few years.

The urban legend of the 'Midnight Channel' and the creepy, unsettling fog that covered the town captured the attention of many paranormal enthusiasts. However, because she was at such a young age during that time, she couldn't quite understand the details of it all. All she knew was that the Midnight Channel disappeared one day and everything went back to normal. She figured the flood of visitors died down by now.

Shrugging, Nanako started to walk past the station. Now, where could her father be?

"Nanako!"

Nanako instantly smiled at the sight of her father standing under a streetlight and waving. She hurried to her father's arms and the two held together in a tight hug.

Ryotaro Dojima, Nanako's beloved father. Now that she noticed, he was still wearing his usual dark gray shirt with pulled up sleeves and red necktie, an outfit that she continuously told him to get rid of by now. Of course, when your father is a 24/7 working police detective, attire is the least thing that's on his mind.

"Can you do me a favor and stop growing so much," Dojima joked and loosened his grip to see her face clearly. Nanako didn't want to cry in front of him but she couldn't help feel her eyes water a bit. She felt that she had forgotten what her father's embrace was like.

"I've missed you so much, Daddy," Nanako said and pulled him into a hug once more, ignoring the fact that she hadn't called her father 'Daddy' in a long time. She let go of him and saw that someone was missing.

"Where's Yu?" Nanako asked.

"Back at the house, everyone's waiting for you." Dojima replied as he picked up Nanako's belongings. Suddenly, he stopped short and scratched behind his head. "Ah...I think I just ruined the surprise."

Nanako laughed. "You're bad at keeping secrets."

"Oh well," Dojima shrugged. "Let's get going. You can tell me all about your trip while we get there."

"Oh yeah! Can you believe there's not a single Junes in the city?" Nanako said as she followed her father to the car. Dojima chuckled, and replied, "It's probably because big city folks don't go to department stores for fun like we do here."

Inaba, Dojima Residence.

"Welcome back, Nanako-chan!"

Upon entering her home, Nanako was immediately greeted by all of her friends. Well, they were mostly friends of Yu, but she grew to consider them her friends too.

Chie, Yosuke, Yukiko, Kanji, and Teddie. Out of his costume of course.

"Nana-chan!" Teddie screamed in joy and ran up to her to give her a tight embrace.

"Hey, Teddie!" Nanako laughed and returned the hug.

"We've missed you bear-y much." His cheeks flushed red when he added, "And you're so beaut-"

"Hands off my daughter, bear," Dojima suddenly cut him off and gave him a cold stare.

"H-huh? But I'm not in my bear costume," Teddie protested which earned him an even colder stare from her father. Everyone in the room laughed at the ordeal and Nanako smiled warmly. She had no idea how good it was going to feel coming back.

"It's so nice to see you all again," Nanako said as she walked to the center of the room where everyone was sitting around the table. While her father took her bags to her room, Nanako surveyed her home. It was like nothing has even changed. Blue curtains draped over the backdoor and the retro-style TV still sat in the corner of their tiny home.

Suddenly, she felt a tug at the end of her dress and when she looked down, she met the hazel eyes of a four-year-old boy. The toddler was dressed in blue overalls with a green-striped shirt underneath. His other hand clenched tightly to a stuffed fox.

Nanako's eyes widened. He. Was. Adorable.

"Oh hey, you two haven't met, right?" Chie spoke up and went over to her son to ruffle his silver hair. "Koji, this is Nanako. She's your-uh, what would it be? Second-cousin?"

Nanako bent down to match Koji's line of sight and said, "I can be your Big Sis. Nice to meet you, Koji."

She held out her hand for a shake and after a blank stare from the boy, he reluctantly reached out to touch her hand.

"Aw, how cute!" Teddie squealed followed by a giggle from Yukiko. Chie smiled warmly and picked up her son in her arms to settle back near the table. Nanako straightened up, finding it hard to keep her eyes off the new member of her family. She found it endearing how he shared the same features as his father.

"You have one damn cute kid," Kanji commented as he watched Koji play with his stuffed fox on his mother's lap. Nanako's attention immediately shifted to Yosuke's laugh.

"Already wondering if you and Naoto's kid is gonna be just as cute, huh Kanji?" Yosuke teased while Teddie made smooching noises.

"What the hell man!" Kanji yelled, failing to mask the heat that scorched his cheeks in embarrassment. "Can't a guy just give a compliment without meaning anything behind it?"

"Oh, but it has so much meaning!" Teddie declared dramatically, "The meaning of love!"

Kanji only responded with clenched fists and threatened to throw Teddie out but it only resulted in more laughter.

"You guys better quit yelling, at least not when Koji is around," Chie huffed. Yukiko nodded in approval and said, "Chie is right. We should all take responsibility like her."

"Thanks, Yukiko!" Chie smiled brightly, narrowly missing Yosuke's snide remark, "You call that taking responsibility?"

Nanako simply smiled as she watched the group continue their endless teasing. She then noticed that someone was still missing.

Right then, the room stiffened at sound of the front door opening. It was none other but Yu Narukami. He stood at the doorway with grocery bags in his hands.

"Oh, you're back," Yu smiled.

"Big Bro!" Nanako rushed over to him to give him a hug, which happened so quickly that she might have knocked air out of him.

Yu chuckled, "That's odd. I don't remember you that tall." He returned the hug and Nanako felt slightly embarrassed for clinging onto him like a small child but at the same time, she didn't care. She was so happy to see him again.

Yu Narukami. Nanako's older cousin but she prefers to call him Big Bro. Aside from his black, framed glasses and white collar work shirt, Yu didn't look that much different than from his high school days. Alongside his same old appearance was his same old personality; cool and collected as Nanako always described him.

"Senpai! Glad to have ya back!" Kanji smiled, as if the previous situation hadn't happened. Once Yu was greeted by everyone, Nanako followed her cousin to the kitchen to help out with dinner.

"Man, I can't believe Yu actually tied the knot with Chie of all people," Yosuke said out loud which earned him a stern look from Chie.

Everyone was sitting around the table, eating dinner specially prepared by Yu. Nanako took another sip of her miso soup and took a moment to appreciate the herbal flavors on her taste buds. Without a doubt, it was delicious.

"What's that supposed to mean!" Chie pointed a finger at him. "At least I'm not the one who's been in a relationship with some nurse for five years and have yet to get married."

"Hey! She's just…y'know taking her time," Yosuke defended himself. Yu quickly interjected, "She has a point, Yosuke. What if something else is going on?"

"W-what do you mean?" Yosuke stuttered. "Whatever, it's personal. Besides, Kanji isn't married either and he's been with Naoto for as long as we can remember."

"Actually, we are married," Kanji said bluntly. Everyone responded with a resounded "WHAT".

"Married!" Chie said in surprise.

"Since when?" Yosuke asked, now standing up.

"Last month, actually," Kanji answered confidently and crossed his arms.

"Congratulations, Kanji-kun," Yukiko smiled, followed by Chie's remark, "How come you didn't invite us?"

"Eh, well," Kanji rubbed behind his head to ponder his next words carefully. "We didn't have a wedding. We're just married legally, y'know, making it official and all."

"I don't see a ring," Yu noted which instantly resulted in Kanji bolting straight up with a fisted fist.

"H-hey! It's none of your business!" Kanji said defensively.

"How is Naoto, anyway?" Yukiko asked.

"Busy," Kanji answered, "That's what'd you expect from being the head detective." Nanako sensed a bit of sadness in his voice. She hoped things were alright between the two. If there was anything that made Nanako instantly sad, it would be the bad ending of a relationship.

"She's in the middle of a big case right now. Heard of that international smuggling ring?"

"Oh yeah. I heard the drug can be dangerous," Chie said.

"Isn't that stuff illegal in Japan?" Yosuke sighed, "I've been so busy at work that I can't keep up with news lately."

"Well, you're right about that" Kanji confirmed. "There are smugglers trying to bring it here. And Naoto is after the bastards."

He sighed. "I don't see her much but if that's what she loves doing best, then I'm fine with it."

"Well, that's good to hear," Yu nodded. "That takes a lot of strength."

"Yeah," Chie agreed. "Just don't let her work herself too hard, okay?"

Kanji nodded and Yosuke gave him a pat on the back.

"I heard Rise-chan is working hard too," Yukiko piped in. Everyone agreed with a nod.

"She's still bear-rific on TV!" Teddie exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Good thing her comeback went well. She should be off tour soon so she'll get a chance to visit us sometime," Yosuke said and added with a mischievous grin, "Maybe I should get her to play at Junes again?"

"And put together another performance from our lame-ass band? Not a chance, you won't catch me playing another instrument again," Kanji declared, which resulted in laughs all around the table.

"Youth these days…" Dojima muttered and took another sip of his drink.

Once Nanako finished her dinner, she decided to take a breather. The exhaustion from the train ride home had finally gotten to her. She excused herself and headed outside.

She settled down on the porch and glanced around her tiny backyard. Moonlight casted a glow on the grass and bushes that hugged around the fence. Her father's long sleeved shirts were fluttering in the breeze as they clung onto the clothes line.

I wonder how long he left those out to dry, she wondered. He probably forgot as usual. I'll bring them in before I head back inside.

She chuckled at the thought of her father washing his clothes, a mundane task she had been doing for so long. She brought her knees up to her chest, thinking about her father more.

Even now, she wasn't sure if leaving to the city was a good idea. The thought of leaving her father alone for a single year had held her back from even considering. Ever since her mother passed away, she had promised to her father that she'll take her place and never leave him.

Nanako sighed. Maybe this was a pointless dilemma to be worried about. After all, she's back now and she can attend the house as usual. As she was thinking this, she heard the glass door slide behind her.

"Hey, how's it going?"

Nanako looked up at Yu as he sat down next to her. The two looked up at the stars and felt the spring breeze pass.

"A lot," Nanako admitted, breaking the silence between them. She felt Yu turn to her with a concerned look and asked, "What's on your mind?"

Nanako didn't feel comfortable talking about her feelings about her trip and her father, at least not until it's all sorted out in her head. So she decided to bring up another topic that's been bugging her.

"It's kind of silly but…I'm kind of nervous about tomorrow," she explained. "I know it's only my second year of high school and I should be happy that I'm back in town…"

She paused for a moment before continuing. "…but I feel like I don't know how to start again. By now, everybody probably has their own group of friends to hang out with. I'm not sure if there's any room for me…" Nanako trailed off, avoiding Yu's eye contact.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Yu responded and looked behind him at the glass doors. Nanako also looked behind her to see everyone laughing around the table as Chie lifted Koji's arms to make kung fu gestures.

"You'll be surprised at how the closest of friends come to you when you least expect it," Yu continued and turned his attention back to Nanako. "You have a heart for people, Nanako. That alone is enough to make bonds with people that you'll trust."

Nanako smiled at his words and looked down at her hands resting on her lap. She knew she could count on her cousin to comfort her. "Thanks, Big Bro."

Yu nodded and stood up. "And besides. Marie said she'll make sure it won't rain tomorrow."

Nanako's eyes instantly lit up at the mention of the mystical weather woman on TV. "Wow, she must be a goddess right, Yu? To control the weather like that?"

Nanako was always amazed by the local celebrity, seemingly changing the weather by her will. She liked how positive she was on television every morning, motivating the residents of Inaba to push through their challenges and work towards their wishes every day.

Yu simply chuckled and held out his hand to help her up. Nanako was confused by his vague answer but reluctantly took his hand anyway. Suddenly, she felt a raindrop plop on her nose.

"Oh! The clothes!" Nanako rushed to the clothesline and plucked the pins from her father's shirts. She turned to her left to see Yu doing the same thing and she smiled.

The two hurried inside with laundry in their hands as rain began to pour.

It was the peak of midnight when Nanako twisted and turned in her bed sheets.

She was dreaming, she was sure of it.

Nanako had woken up in a strange place of nothing but surrounding fog. Even with not a single thing in sight, she could tell she was in Inaba by the outline of the buildings. She had been walking forward for what felt like several hours. She shivered and she rubbed her arms for any warmth. It was unnaturally cold.

Suddenly, a figure began to appear amidst the fog. Nanako could barely make out its form, but she knew it was human.

"Hello?" Nanako said in hesitation, reaching out to the figure. In that moment, the dark form turned and disappeared again.

"H-hey! Wait!" Nanako yelled and began to run. She charged through the fog, searching for anything. The figure reappeared again but this time, it was crouched with its back turned away from her.

Upon closer inspection, Nanako could see the crouching figure of a girl clad in Yasogami uniform and her hair, tied into a long braid, drooped along her back. The girl was shivering, possibly due to the cold. Eyebrows furrowed, Nanako reached her hand out when suddenly, the girl bolted up.

"Get away from me!" She yelled, facing Nanako. Her eyes looked glassy, as if she had been crying for a long time. The girl then ran off, despite Nanako's protests.

Who is she? What's going on? Nanako thought, feeling very confused.

Suddenly, an unknown voice whispered, "how curious. How did you manage to escape?"

"Huh?" Nanako spoke to the voice, unsure who she was speaking to exactly. "Are you keeping her trapped here?"

"A soul cannot trap another soul. Only the soul traps itself," the voice responded in an almost mocking manner. Nanako frowned. A silhouette appeared with crossed arms and had the form of a human, but it seemed to be wearing a white, robe garment.

"Hm, it seems that you are different from other humans. I wonder...have you been here before?" the unknown voice continued.

"Who are you?" Nanako asked in frustration. Is it so hard to ask for straight answers? The unknown voice only laughed and the fog seemed to grow thicker and thicker.

"I am the ruler of this domain." The voice then snickered, "humans can be so vulnerable. They become entrapped by their own fear." The voice said barely above a whisper, "Let's see you if you are any different, my special human."

That's when Nanako began to weave back and forth until she dropped onto her knees. She glanced up at the form, still disfigured by the fog, and whispered weakly, "W-what are you?"

The form stayed silent and without an answer, Nanako lost consciousness.

A/N: Thank you for reading the first chapter! Initially, I did not have the intention to publish this story. I've been writing this as a means of practicing my writing skills and character development.

With that said, this story will have Yu x Chie, Kanji x Naoto and Yosuke x OC character (although not majorly important and will be very little). In fact, because this story focuses on Nanako, there will be a lot of OCs, but please keep in mind that I took great care in imagining them and implementing them in this world. So, if none of these aspects appeal to you, then this fic may not be your cup of tea. Also, Persona Arena, Ultimax, Dancing All Night and Q will not be canon in this story. If you do choose to read this story, welcome aboard the journey!

~HarperLace

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randochris · 8 years ago

Text

Persona 4 Bonds of Reality Prologue

“Dammit, what’s taking so long?!”

Yosuke Hanamura flopped onto his futon, staring daggers into the clock that hung on his bedroom wall. The time read 10:14 a.m. but for Yosuke, every minute that passed was complete agony. He had been awake since six in the morning, counting down each minute that passed.

“Aww, turn your frown upside down, Yosuke! I know Sensei is just dying to get here as soon as he can!”

The would-be picker upper happened to be Teddie, out of his bear suit. Teddie slept longer than Yosuke but his blonde hair was already perfectly styled and he was trying on different winter-friendly outfits to wear to meet “Sensei.” The chill of December could be felt even with the heater going on in Yosuke’s room.

Yosuke himself was still in the sweatpants he wore to bed but had changed into a long-sleeved tee with the emblem of Yasogami High School on the right chest. Yosuke didn’t really dress properly until it was time for him to leave the house for school or hanging out with his friends.

“Do you think Sensei is going to bring anybody along with him? He said he had a surprise for all of us. Ooh! Maybe it’s some of the beauties of the city!” Teddie swooned at the mental images running through his mind of countless girls, each more bustier than the last.

“Dude, I doubt he’s bringing girls along with him. There would be a bloodbath all over Inaba, courtesy of a certain idol,” Yosuke mumbled, feeling his body shiver.

“Aww, but they don’t have to be girls who are into Sensei! Maybe he’s bringing us some hot dates to melt all this snow!”

Would they really? Yosuke rested his head on his arms, memories of failed attempts to pick up girls bombarding him rapidly, ending with the most heartbreaking sound he ever heard in his life. A sound that would never fade…

“My motorcycle…”

Before Yosuke started to openly weep about how, even with the repairs, his scooter was never the same, the muffled chirps of a cell phone came from his pocket. He answered the phone in a low mumble without checking who was calling.

“Hello? Wassup?”

The responding voice was very loud and frenzied, belonging to a certain girl.

“Yosuke, Yu’s train got stopped! There was a snowstorm out where he was and the train can’t go any further!” Chie Satonaka sounded like she was almost out of breath like she had been running.

Yosuke sat up, his body now tense. “What?! Is he okay?”

“He said he’s fine but…but…I can’t stand around doing nothing! I’m meeting everybody at the train station right now to see if-!”

Teddie suddenly elbowed Yosuke’s ribs to butt into the phone call, cutting off Chie.

“Did something happen to Sensei?” Teddie panicked, his voice already breaking.

Chie explained the situation again. Once she was done, Teddie grabbed Yosuke by the arm and hoisted him to his feet.

“Come on, Yosuke! Sensei needs us!” Teddie heroically declared, zipping up the jacket he now put on and ending the call.

“G-Gimme a sec, you dummy, I need to get dressed!”

Damn it! I hope he’s okay! Yosuke’s mind was racing with thoughts on anything he could possibly do to help his friend, the one he calls his “partner.” The snow on the road was way too slippery for his scooter so he and Teddie hurried on foot, trying to keep from sliding and falling. It didn’t take too long before the two reached Yasoinaba Station, where most of the gang were waiting.

Everyone were all together, talking to one another in hurried voices. Rise looked visibly worried with Naoto trying to calm her down. Yukiko was trying to summon her Persona, even as Chie kept insisting that it wasn’t like the events in May. Kanji was distracted, playing with his black hair until he noticed Yosuke and Teddie approaching.

“Hey! What took you guys so long?!” Kanji said.

“Yosuke was reading his dirty magazines before you called, Chie. I was beary disappointed in him,” Teddie scolded.

“What?! I wasn’t doing anything! I’ve been waiting for Yu all morning!” Yosuke snapped.

“I just want to look good for Sensei! You weren’t dressed, Yosuke!”

“N-No, I didn’t mean YOU, I meant…” Yosuke sighed and grimaced, choosing to stay mum for his own sake.

Naoto muttered under her own breath, “I’m surprised it’s not until now that Senpai’s name caused an exchange like that.”

Rise, still flustered, pouted with her cheeks puffed outward. “I can’t believe that now, of all times, before Christmas, Senpai’s stuck out in the middle of nowhere!”

Yosuke folded his arms and looked at the others. “Have any of you heard again from him since you called me, Chie?”

Chie shook her head, digging her hands into her coat pockets. “All that he said is that the train isn’t going to be back for a while.”

Yosuke closed his eyes and sighed to himself. He wondered if Yu had already contacted Ryotaro Dojima or Nanako. Or if he wasn’t able to…

“Naoto, you have Dojima-san’s number, right? Have you contacted him?” Yosuke asked.

The detective nodded. “Dojima-san has already been notified of the situation.”

“Yosuke, I’m sure Yu-kun is fine. Just imagine that he’s right behind you,” Yukiko chirped, almost looking unfazed by their leader’s predicament.

Yosuke raised a brow at Yukiko, confused. She sometimes says odd things but Yu’s “right behind him?”

That’s when Yosuke felt a sudden rush of cold.

THUMP!!

A huge snowball hit Yosuke on the back of his head, the snow falling inside his jacket and shirt, making him shake from the water running down his body.

“Wh-Who the hell-?!” Yosuke began, turning on his foot angrily. But Yosuke’s anger didn’t last long. He was greeted by the warm smile of Yu Narukami, holding another snowball in his hand.

“Hey there, Yosuke. You look surprised to see me so early,” Yu joked.

Yosuke glanced at the rest of his friends, who all burst out in laughter, even Teddie.

“What? Why are you all laughing?” Yosuke said, scratching the back of his head to try and get some of the loose snow out.

“We’ve been trying to get a hold of you all morning, Yosuke-senpai! Did you have your phone turned off?” said Rise.

“Wait, you were calling me? I didn’t get any phone calls! …Wait…”

Yosuke dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Immediately, he noticed what was wrong. He wasn’t holding his orange-colored cell phone, rather, a small white one made for children.

“Teddie, did you take my phone to play your mobile games again?!” Yosuke seethed, taking his phone back.

“I can’t manage the crops in Teddieland on my phone, Yosuke! My phone isn’t as fast as yours…”

Ignoring Teddie, Yosuke turned back to Yu. “So, when did you get here?”

Yu joined everybody else, fixing his bowl-shaped hair. “About two hours ago. There really is a snowstorm going on out in the country so I took an earlier train just to be safe. It was the last one that would go before they began the delay.”

Rise wasted no time wrapping herself around Yu’s arm, rubbing her cheek on his bicep. “And not a moment too soon! The wait was un-BEAR-able!”

The pun only drew a laugh from Teddie and Yukiko while the others groaned quietly, though Yu only smiled for his own sake.

“I think it’s about time we let a certain someone know Big Bro’s home for the holidays,” Yosuke said, his usual smile returning to his face.

The group all headed off to Dojima’s house, catching up with Yu on what he had been doing in the city. The sound of snow crunching underneath their footsteps was the perfect ambience. For Yu, it felt good to be back in Inaba again. As he went through the downtown area with his friends, he noticed there was something different about it this time around. There were more decorations stretching across the street sidewalks, everything shining around the town. The local vendors were still selling their handmade goods, the most popular stand selling scarves, gloves, and knitted hats. Kanji had a huge grin on his face as they walked past…

As everyone approached the Dojima household, there were two figures out front, busy building a snowman. Ryotaro Dojima, now sporting a slightly thick beard, was adding black rocks to form the snowman’s smile while Nanako made sure the stick arms would stay up. Upon a closer look, the snowman’s head was styled to resemble Yu, complete with hardened eyes and bowl-cut.

“Wow, I didn’t know another me was staying here,” Yu chuckled. Nanako’s head turned in an instant, eyes widened in complete joy.

“BIG BRO!” Nanako hurried over and jumped to Yu, hugging him tightly. He petted her hair, still as long as it was the last time he was there. She had even grown a little bit taller too.

Dojima gave a hearty laugh. “It’s about time you got here. She’s been non-stop all day, keeping an eye out for you.” Dojima gave Yu a firm pat on the shoulder. “Everything been all right back in the city? School going fine?”

Yu nodded and added, “Top of my class, as always, Dojima-san. Though I’ve had some intense study sessions just before the break.”

Yosuke grimaced. “Ugh, if it wasn’t for the new laptop, I swear…”

Dojima’s brows furrowed. “’New laptop?’”

“Oh, yeah. Junes has been getting a lot more sales in our electronics, thanks to all of the Hashiba laptops that are out now. I managed to save enough to get a decent model. It’s easier to help Yu study,” Yosuke explained.

With what seemed like an understanding nod, Dojima added, “Right, because those…instant message chatroom something or other. I haven’t had much use for a computer outside of work.”

Naoto couldn’t help but suppress a laugh, though no one seemed to notice.

“How about you, Nanako? How’s school?” asked Yu.

“It’s been a bit tough but I’m working hard!” Nanako cheerfully pumped her fists. “Dad’s been helping me study all the time!”

Dojima scratched the back of his head, smirking. “Usually after a few cups of coffee.”

Everyone now laughed together and headed inside. Everything was still the same as Yu remembered from before. Hot chocolate was already prepared, with bags of marshmallows on the kitchen table. Yu and Nanako sat next to one another at the kotatsu, with Yu’s friends scattered about the living room, watching television while Kanji and Teddie were arguing how many marshmallows are acceptable.

Naoto was off to the side, talking with Dojima.

“…Yeah, right now he’s just been reading in his cell. He made some kind of personal challenge to read as much books as possible before his trial date,” muttered Dojima.

“As long as it keeps him occupied.” Naoto’s eyes looked downward for a moment.

The hours quickly passed into the early moments of night before Dojima received a phone call. There was an emergency at a home at the other side of Inaba, where vandals were throwing rocks at someone’s windows and scattered after the police appeared.

“Now, remember what we discussed, Nanako. Stick close to Yu, okay?” Dojima hurried to get his coat on.

“Mmhmm. Stay with Big Bro!” Nanako gave her father an encouraging smile. Dojima nodded and promptly left.

The TV channel was changed to the premiere of a Christmas themed special, a few minutes away from starting.

“I can’t believe it, my first true acting gig!” Rise was gushing with excitement, kicking her legs.

“So, uh, what the heck is this supposed to be about anyway?” Kanji sipped at his hot chocolate, Rise already looking annoyed at him.

“It’s a beautiful romantic story where a young girl, alone on Christmas, gets to spend it with the man of her dreams! It’s not a hard story to understand!”

Kanji frowned. “I can get THAT. You just never told us because it was supposed to be a big secret. Besides, I prefer stuff like Rudolph.”

Chie looked over at Rise from the other side of the couch. “How much creative input did you have with this movie?”

Rise shrugged. “Not that much as far as the story goes. Why?”

“I’m just preparing myself for ‘Rise Kujikawa Presents: Christmas With Senpai.’”

“What’s wrong with that? Wouldn’t you try to model the perfect boyfriend after Yu-Senpai?”

The heavy silence that came over the living room just then was something Yu had never experienced before. It was no secret Rise was into him but Chie usually had a comment afterwards. The girls all looked at each other, back to Yu, and then back to each other.

Naoto was the first to speak up, in her usual calm tone. “I think it’s a bit unfair to use Senpai as the highest standard possible to a significant other, as well as that person having to be ‘perfect.’ While we would like a perfect relationship, especially when it comes to romance, that’s just not possible. And…to be honest, perfection leads to stasis within the relationship.”

Yukiko nodded in agreement. “I know what you mean. Every day when I’m with Chie, it either feels like a new adventure or a learning experience. Even if it’s something mundane. Although…” Yukiko rested her chin on her hand, closing her eyes, lost in thought.

Yosuke, Kanji, and Teddie looked visibly confused, mostly from the fact that this was a conversation actually happening. Yu’s face was actually a little bit red.

Chie leaned over to Yukiko. “So, wait, are you saying everything about me, good and bad, makes every day fun…?” She said in a hushed whisper.

“Big Bro’s really nice so I can understand why you’d want boys to be like him, Rise-chan,” interjected Nanako, still having her big smile.

Rise fiddled with a strand of her hair. “It’s other things too but…you are right.” She turned to Yu. “I’m sorry, Senpai. I didn’t mean to embarrass you like this.”

“It’s no problem at all, Rise, really.” Yu waved his hand dismissively, though his expression told a different story. His eyes quickly glanced at Nanako.

Teddie was the first of the guys to finally speak up. “No need to be so modest, Sensei!”

Kanji folded his arms, with a teasing smirk. “Unless you already found a girlfriend and didn’t tell any of us.”

Yosuke shook his head, quickly cutting off Kanji to prevent the topic from stemming off into something undesirable… “Nah, Yu’s not the kind of guy to hide stuff like that.” Though none of the girls didn’t look put off by the idea.

“I really care about Senpai, but I want him to follow his heart,” said Rise softly.

“Ack!!” Chie suddenly yelled out loud, startling everyone. “THE SPECIAL’S ALREADY STARTED!”

Everyone looked at the TV, which thankfully was only in the opening credits. The special was following Rise’s character around the snowy city streets of Tokyo, admiring the decorations much like Yu did earlier. The golden lights shined in her eyes and everything around her was grand.

But suddenly, the broadcast went to static. No weather warning or anything indicating a technical error appeared on screen. Yu pressed buttons on the TV remote but no other channels appeared. Out of instinct, he checked the time and it was nowhere close to midnight…

Suddenly, a very faint image started to appear, silhouettes walking around. Crackling voices could be barely made out but none of them said anything coherent.

“…stop them…interfering with…shape…the world…” said a cold voice.

“Big Bro, this isn’t the special, is it…?” Nanako asked, though she looked like she already knew the answer.

The lights in the Dojima residence went out, while the glow of the TV screen became brighter. The living room started to shake with a faint wind pushing towards the TV, pushing the kotatsu.

“E-Everyone! Outside!” Yu yelled, helping Nanako up and hurrying towards the front door. However, the front door suddenly flew away from the pair. Looking around for anything to hold onto as the wind started to pick up speed, Yu clasped onto the edge of the kitchen sink, Nanako wrapping her arms around his chest.

“What the hell’s going on?!” Yosuke grabbed the other side of the sink, Chie hanging off his shoulders. Yukiko then jumped onto Chie, while Kanji held onto the fully stocked refrigerator with his long arms. Naoto and Rise hung off both his biceps and Teddie clutched onto Kanji’s hips, almost making him fall over.

“T-TED, THAT TICKLES!!” Kanji tried not to laugh, keeping his grip on the refrigerator.

The wind started to violently knock things over and pick everybody up from off the ground, pulling them towards the television. Something about the wind made it feel like the small TV was going to accommodate everyone if this was heading where Yu believed it was. Everyone still held on with all their might, but the refrigerator door opened, violently jerking Kanji to one side. Desperate, he grabbed Yu’s legs by the ankles.

“S-SORRY, SENPAI!” Kanji bellowed.

“D-DON’T LET GO, KANJI-KUN!” Naoto yelled.

Right besides Yu, Yosuke yelped. His side of the sink deteriorated away and found himself hurling towards the TV. Chie and Yukiko screamed in fear, digging their fingers into his shoulder blades. Just like a knee-jerk response, Yosuke managed to grab Teddie by the back of his jacket, though it was too loose to keep steady.

With a loud yell, Yosuke, Chie, and Yukiko flung towards the television, disappearing into the light. Nanako cried out in fear, while Kanji’s fingers were slipping.

“S-SENPAI, I CAN’T HOLD ON!” Kanji’s fingers brushed against Yu’s feet and now he, Naoto, Teddie, and Rise found themselves pulled into the light.

“Big Bro! I don’t want to die!!” Nanako held on as much as she could. But everything near Yu’s hands had disappeared as well. All he could do now was hold Nanako close to him.

“Whatever happens Nanako…I’ll protect you!!”

Everything around Yu’s eyes was enveloped in light.

He felt weightless. He could feel Nanako’s face still pressed against his chest.

This was not the sensation of death. It was similar as to when Yu and his friends entered the TV world.

But wherever Yu and Nanako were going, along with the rest of their friends, there was no guessing in what awaited them.

Yu was blinded by a very bright light before everything around him turned a vibrant blue. He realized he was once again within the Velvet Room. His heart was at ease as he sat across the inhabitants of the Velvet Room, or at least two of them. The bizarre looking old man with a very long nose known as Igor and his assistant Margaret, whose elegance continued to radiate as strongly as ever, gazed straight at Yu.

“Welcome to the Velvet Room. This place exists between dream and reality, mind and matter…as I am sure you remember,” said Igor, in the same tone and rhythm as Yu had heard before.

“It is a pleasure to see you once again.” Margaret bowed her head.

“As an esteemed guest, you are always welcome here. It has been quite some time since your last visit. The strength of your bonds were tested heavily, and you were able to display unwavering determination at preserving them. You are most likely wondering what brings you here once again.” Igor maintained his usual smile, with his hands crossed together.

“Your destiny extends far greater than the boundaries that your world possesses. That also includes the threats that may come upon your world. The wind that whisked you and your comrades away from your world was not of anything you have come to know in your previous quests. A strong power, elsewhere, has become drawn to you. You will soon be entering a new reality that is both closely similar and radically different to what you’re used to. What you do once you arrive is entirely up to you. Your choices from hereon will determine what comes of the multiple planes of existence that you may or may not have thought about.” Margaret finished her explanation with a small chuckle. “It will be interesting, to say the very least. While the new world you will arrive in is not closely tied to the Velvet Room, you will be able to return, if you require assistance.”

Yu, who had not been able to feel any words forming in his throat, could only watch as Igor and Margaret become enveloped in the same light, once again…

So, I’m trying to get back into writing once again. Forewarning, this story will feature my OCs. Not OCs specifically built for Persona so I’m not going to be destroying any ships. But this is just to help motivate me to do something. Please give me feedback and share if you like it!

#Persona 4 #fanfiction #Persona 4 Bonds of Reality

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