#and when my dad said yea it was the best day of my entire life dude.

[savercknroll]

tell me how to get through my dog dying bc honestly 😁🔫

[hvnlygrl]

can u pls pls pls write this, nobody is taking my rqs.

so basically jj/rafe comforting reader bc shes crying after he overstimulated her as a punishment for spending time w pogues/kooks and her touchy bsf jj/rafe

hold me now.

pairing — rafe cameron x pogue!fem!reader

word count — 1.4k

warnings — overstimulation, rafe gets in his feelings, reader cries, mention of throwing up, hurt/comfort, brief smut (minors dni), p in v.

synopsis — you’ve been spending too much time around the pogues, and more specifically around your touchy best friend jj and rafe funnels his jealousy into your sex life. he goes too far and he hates himself for it.

notes — i love this request idk why nobody else wants to write it 😭 hope you’re okay with me picking rafe for the pairing ive been wanting a rafe request 💌

you’d known jj since you were four years old, his dad living right next door to your mom. you grew up together, learned how to ride bikes on the same day, were there for each other’s first heart breaks in elementary school and fought off the other’s bullies without a second thought. to you, he was the brother you never had, and to him, you were his entire world. he’d never admit it to anyone but he was positively in love with you.

jj had no idea when his love for you turned into more than it was in the beginning, but he couldn’t deny to himself the feelings he held for you. and to your boyfriend, rafe, it was obvious. 

rafe felt the rage building in his chest as he watched jj wrap his arms around you, a grin across his lips as you laughed and laughed. he couldn’t hear what jj said that was so funny, but judging by your laugh, it was probably some inside joke about some niche topic that he wouldn’t be able to begin to understand. 

rafe tried not to be the overbearing type with you, knowing that it brought you great stress as it reminded you of the relationship you witnessed between your parents growing up, but he just couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel to you and jj. he knew it was trivial, and that you would never in a million years be the type of person to cheat on him, but he also feared that if it came down to it, you would choose jj over him. 

rafe knew he couldn’t yell at you or cuss you out over it, because ultimately it wasn’t your fault. but he had to do something to stop himself from bursting at the seams with everything he was holding in. it drove him insane that he couldn’t do anything about the close relationship you held with the pogue, but he had to find another alternative. 

so he funneled his frustrations into your sex life. 

you lied there, looking up at him with big doe eyes as he drilled into you harshly, one hand gripping the bed frame above you as the other held onto your hip tightly. 

you cried out, eyes rolling back as he continued his momentum, growing closer and closer to yet another orgasm as he fucked you. you wouldn’t say that it hurt, because it didn’t hurt per se, but you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the way he was fucking you tonight. 

“r-rafe-” you whined desperately, hand reaching up to dig into his bare chest. 

“yea?” he breathes out through a groan, head turned up toward the ceiling as he brings himself closer to his own orgasm. 

you whimper as another climax rushes over you without warning. rafe doesn’t realize how overstimulated you are until tears begin flowing from your eyes. he sees the look on your face and wants to punch himself. you look so fragile, face turned away from him as he quickly pulls out, backing away from you as he catches his breath. 

“baby,” he reaches out toward you, heart aching when you turn further away from him, curling into yourself. “babe?”

you groan in response, naked body folded as tightly into itself as humanly possible. 

he hangs his head as he makes his way to the bathroom. rafe nearly throws up when he hears your delicate sobs emanating from the bedroom. “fuck,” he whispers as he looks in the mirror at himself. his chest and back are covered in scratches, his cheeks red and blotchy, and his hair completely askew. 

he has no idea when he got so carried away with everything, or when it became too much for you and he wants to throw his head through the wall at the fact that he didn’t notice. he should’ve noticed that he was taking it too far with you. 

rafe quickly finishes himself off in the bathroom, heart in his throat as he returns from the bathroom with a damp washcloth. he watches you breathe in and out slowly and deeply, trying to stop yourself from crying further.

you genuinely had no idea why you were crying, but you couldn’t get yourself to stop. you weren’t even upset in the slightest, you just were so overwhelmed that your body was having a visceral reaction to anything and everything at this point. 

rafe threw a pair of boxers and sweatpants on and grabbed you your favorite comfy shorts and one of his shirts and a pair of loose cotton panties. he carries the clothes over to the edge of the bed and kneels beside you. 

“baby?” he reaches out to you again, letting out a soft sigh of relief when you don’t shy away from him. “can i clean you up?” 

you nod pitifully, body still tensed as he gently opens your legs again to wipe at your sensitive area. you whimper, unable to prevent the tears from flowing yet again when the cloth touches your clit. “s’too much.” 

“i know,” he whispers, “i’m so sorry, my love, i went too far, i should’ve paid attention to you and how you were feeling.” 

you want to comfort him, but part of you knows that nothing you can say will even begin to ease the thoughts in his mind. rafe had done countless hours of therapy to try and be better for you, and you knew that to him, this was a major setback. 

“i love you,” you whisper back, “it’s not your fault.” 

he leans forward, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead, “i love you. thank you.” 

you hum in response, body feeling like jello as he pulls the clothes he picked out for you over your body. he adjusts you so that you’re comfortably sat under the comforters, back resting against the pillow on the headboard. he slides in next to you after turning off the big light and adjusting the a/c to your preferred settings. he sits near you, without touching you, unable to bring himself closer to you due to the thoughts racing through his mind. he feels awful, he never meant to take it that far. 

you both sit in silence for a beat, just listening to the sound of the a/c kicking on and the dog’s claws clacking against the hardwood floors. after a moment or two, you roll over, inching yourself closer to him slowly. your muscles are sore and your body aches from overuse as you put your head on his stomach. 

he drags his fingers through your hair mindlessly, listening to your soft hums of approval. 

“it’s not your fault, rafe,” your voice is soft and raspy, “i don’t blame you.” 

rafe wants to believe you, and he knows that you mean what you say, but he just can’t see it the same way as you. you were always the optimist in the relationship. “i just get so worked up over jj, i know i shouldn't, i know he’s not going anywhere, but i can’t help it.” 

you’re silent for a second. “i know.” you turn your head so that you can see his face, and he can see yours. “but look at me, baby, i’m not going anywhere. and i love jj, yes, but he’s my brother. i will never be able to look at him the way i look at you, we’ve been through too much together.” 

“i know, that’s what scares me,” rafe’s brows furrow deeply, “i’m scared that because he’s been there for forever and he knows everything, that i’m always gonna be left out. that it’s always gonna be the jj and y/n show and i’ll always be a background character.” 

“you won’t, you aren’t,” you frown at him, “it's our show, baby, and i’m not going anywhere. and i'm sure as hell not gonna let jj be the thing that gets in between us.” 

he nods, but you can tell that he’s still struggling to believe it. 

“i love you, rafe cameron. you’re my soulmate, you’re my entire world. i would die if anything happened to you, do you understand that?” 

“i know,” he nods again, this time more sure of himself. “i would kill if anything happened to you. i can’t even imagine that.” 

“good. don’t imagine it, because nothing’s gonna happen to me, and nothing’s gonna happen to us. i love you so much, baby.” 

“i love you so much, y/n.” 

“forever and a day?”

“forever and a day.” he kisses the top of your head, letting his lips linger for longer than normal before pulling you closer into his arms. he squeezes you tightly. “i promise i won’t hurt you like that again. i’m so sorry.” 

“apology accepted, rafey,” you wrap your arms around his, kissing his hands gently. “now make me a sandwich please?”

“anything you want, my love.” 

-> back to masterlist

taglist — @lanasb0ngwater

[annieqattheperipheral]

At 1hr 21min:

Started typing... Kept typing lol here you go, natemac interview recap:

Nate still has to go train at sid's gym

So nate makes batherson come to his gym

Vail camp: used to have them, paused for covid, better and chill, no one knows them (tried them before in toronto and montreal), not busy. Training at 9000ft. Afterwards do treatment or golf.

Attendees: mcdavid, marner, sid, skinner, hall, tysbarrie, matty tkachuk, bennett, hanifin

McDavid: i don't see him much, I've gotten to know him thru these. I'm like a kid watching him, it's just fun

Matthew Tkachuk: "and he's doing his thing 😂"

Cale's wedding: "i shouldn't say a showman but when he gets into his moods he's a fun guy. likes to dance, have a good time, when his wife's around, definitely loosens up more and it's just the boys around"

Went to Wimbledon this summer. Did not wear a top hat

Lighter recovery training both this and last summer: just trying to take miles off his body is key. Light gym days "is that it, Andy?" But feels good now

Cale: "first nhl game, aggressive and calling for pucks, to do that at 19yo is impressive. The confidence that he has. Quieter off the ice. Super sure of himself on the ice. He's special. He'll be the best defenseman ever"

A bit about why he works with his sports psychologist and will always continue working with her "we're so dialed in on our body, why is no one taking care of their mind" "the minute you think you're good, you're not"

Is offended that "ball hockey players claim nhl players can't play ball hockey. is that true?" ("I've rollerbladed my entire life!!") (I need to see fanart of that btw pls ☺️)

Idiot boys tell him it's on feet not on rollerblades (chiclets cup talk "what is the chiclets cup?")

Nate asks who the best ball hockey player in the world is. Answer: "nose face killah" "who?" "he looks 20x uglier and a big nose" and Nate responds "so he's got like my nose" they all compliment his nose😌

Nate redirects the convo to roller hockey

On sid's $8.7: in July he told him "you're not gonna sign for 8.7 are ya c'mon. and he was like ahh idk I'll see" he's taking less to be team friendly

Sid still grinding in the summers. While Nate had his recovery summer he looks like a joke in comparison to sid

The pressure of being captain for team canada for upcoming 4nations & Olympics must be part of what's driving him

"he doesn't look 37 in any way" Yandle: he doesn't have any kids. Nate: must be it! Must be the key

Landy: feels like 10yrs when he last played and lifted the cup. Misses him

Mikko: "he's shockingly big. Says he's 6'3", seems like he must be 6'5". His head is this fuckin big"

"old school. Stretches for like an hour a day. The most flexible guy"

Avs "get so many national games. Know we're not the biggest hockey market but mikko should get more recognition. Super underrated"

Cal ritchie: he did the whiffing thing at vail camp. Everyone thought he whiffed and then he did it again. Nate tried it to do it today, can't do it. Awed by what the kids can do

Nate can't do the Michigan either

His trainer has trained a lot of downhill skiers, you have to be fearless, so training in the pool relaxes your mind. Keeps mum about what he does in the pool. No he does not wear a speedo😞

Lehky's dad vs. mikko: "mikko had a 4 or 5pt game, was fired up, said that to media, then apologized to lehky like 3min later. They're really good friends"

Went to Europe this summer: no one really knows me in america, especially there. Like being off grid, wake up to no texts bc of time change, super relaxing

Was tempted to go to worlds last season (omg what!!!!) avs were out 2nd round. Sid was bugging him and schenner about it (biz: "if you go I'll go kind of thing?" 'Yea")

They were all going to go but nate pooped out "played 105 games, lost to Dallas, was devastated"

Cogs: met him thru Andy at vail. Lit up when it was brought up about trading for him in '22. He is management now. Around the rink, always in the gym, hands in his pockets, walking around, talking to guys

"isn't he good at impressions?" "Yea he's a great storyteller he's so good"

"the league is evolving really quickly right now so it's good to have a bridge" like cogs who recently played bw team and mgmt

Communication is better in the league. Players aren't terrified to talk to GM like he was as a rookie when seeing sakic. Thinks it's important for players to know where they stand. Old school players think fear can be good, yea sure, but you can't scare ppl into playing well for over 8mos, 82 games. Prefers this new way

Mitts: super comfortable, quieter, came to a team where he knows nobody, he looks great, expecting an awesome year from him

Faceoffs: lmaaooo still saying he needs to practice that. Hurts his wrist when he practices them. Needs to be around 52. Was at 46 last season

No league bonus$ for winning the Hart

MacKinnon Crunch cereal released in 2021. It was frosted flakes + he picked the flavour, he liked it! (I NEED TO TRY THIS)

Tim hortons: sidnate want to do an ad with marchy where he messes up ppls orders and they sit him down to teach him what to do (omg they're coming up with sketches lolll) "Marchy needs to be nicer on the ice to be more marketable" 💀

Bedard: hard worker, on the ice 1.5hr after everyone, ice is so snowy can't even move on it

Preseason games, re: all these preseason injuries: doesn't agree with veteran rule (how many mandatory games they have to play) but important for prospects and rookies, you need to be able to evaluate them, they can look good in practice but different story in games.

For vets, you want to play hard, show a good example "played one last night, lost 6-1" and" you see the doughty laine injuries and it's like i could throw my season away for a glorified practice essentially is all it is"

"You're in your game jersey but it doesn't mean anything"

"it's a fine line, i like playing them, 1 or 2, i don't need 6"

Teams are making $1-3mil per preseason game (probably only leafs habs etc)

Listens to a lot of podcasts, likes learning (about self-help, longevity, recovery, nutrition, etc), always has since he was a kid. Liked going to Popeyes (nutrition supplements chain store, like GNC) with his dad looking at protein powders etc lmao

"idk I'm just into it. Definitely love learning, there's a lot i don't know. I feel like a dummy listening to these guys"

Asked about "policing food". He laughs. Omg the laugh is sooo lmaao. On whit saying rumours of him strangling lehky last season for eating a snickers "nooo. Stop it. Stop it. That's not true. (*laughing! laughing!🙃 *oh we are having fun!*)"

"Trying to mellow out a little bit. Definitely see some shit i get mad, try to keep it to myself. ... Eat what you want but when you're at the rink ... I just think the least you can do as a pro athletes is be in shape."

On how nhl of the past, players would be drinking pepsi in-between periods: "a little sugar during a game isn't too bad, it's all good" (i swear his voice is different at this part bc he is internally combusting😂)

4nations/team Canada: Wants McDavid & Sid 1c/2c. Doesn't think they've played wing, doesn't want them to

Himself 3c or wing. Has played wing at other national events. Doesn't love left wing. Prefers right

"should i tell sid to play wing?" Paraphrased: you're Ted Lindsay & MVP, still at his gym, you gotta get something out of this

"he could be 50yo and I'd still slide over" 😏

"nova scotia line (sid, nate, marchy) would be pretty cool at Olympics or this feb (4nations)"

Marner: "he looks awesome... You hear all this negative stuff and then you get on the ice with him you're like how could anyone be negative about this. Admire how good he is, bc ppl chirp him a lot. Him and McDavid were flying around together in Vail"

[j0hnj4ej3n]

renjun: soulmates

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: confusing emotions, y/n almost gets into a car accident, quite a bit of crying

Notes: this is Renjun's part of 'nct dream as love tropes', enjoy!

They say soulmates are highly connected on a spiritual level. You never understood what that meant entirely but you see a glimpse of it through your parents. They seem to understand each other without even having to tell each other anything. A simple glance, a smile, it’s like they really are the other half of each other. When your mum feels sad, you dad feels it before she says anything. Your dad told you when you were little, that soulmates can feel each other’s emotions. It keeps them in sync, connected. Some connections are stronger than others, it varies between every pair of soulmates. He says that’s why sometimes, you suddenly feel happy or sad even if you’re not currently feeling those exact emotions. 

But not all soulmates end up having a romantic relationship, some soulmates remain best friends. Some never really get to have a relationship. Some soulmates never get to find each other at all. You’re in college now and you have yet to find your soulmate. Not that it matters to you, you weren’t too invested into this whole soulmate thing like some of your friends. 

However, you quickly learned that your soulmate gets frustrated rather easily. You’d be fine, going about your day when you feel rage begin to bubble at the pit of your stomach. Sometimes, it gets so strong you want to scream at anyone who dares to get in your way. Then it fades away almost as quickly.

Renjun is rather annoyed with his soulmate (spoiler: that’s you). Because why is she always crying? This has happened ever since he was young. He was having lunch with his parents one day and he had the sudden urge to start bawling for no reason. But after a while, he stopped as if nothing even happened and continued eating. As he grew older, he got better at controlling your emotions. Whenever he feels that sinking feeling in his chest, he excuses himself to the bathroom to just let it out. But sometimes it catches him so off-guard and his friends were so amazed by it. 

Him and his friends were out and having a good time over drinks and Renjun felt that same feeling where his heart sank and his eyes were immediately filled with tears. “Ah shit, she’s at it again,” he mutters as a single tear falls from his eyes. “Dude, are you alright?” “Yea, my soulmate’s just really upset over something again. It happens…” Renjun gives himself a moment for you to be done crying, holding a napkin to dry his tears as they continuously roll down his cheek. “She seems really upset…” “She’s been crying a lot lately, if I’m being honest.” “Why don’t you check up on her?” “Oh… I- uh… I haven’t met her yet.” “Oh, what? And you guys are already this connected? That’s crazy.” “It’s a little embarrassing… I just cry out of nowhere all the time.” But Renjun does worry about you a little. The last time he cried this much was when he was a lot younger, so he wonders if you’re holding up alright. Sometimes, he feels sorry that he can’t comfort you. 

They say you’ll know your soulmate when you ever come into contact with them. Some of your friends said they knew at a single glance. Others said it was when they spoke to each other for the first time. The word ‘contact’ seems to come in many forms. 

You’ve been really stressed lately because of finals. And also because your manager from your part-time job is a pain in the ass. She’s making you work over hours and not paying you for them. Moreover, you’re doing a lot more than what you initially applied for. You’re finally closing the cafe for the day and you’ve never been more relieved. It was one of the most tiring shifts of your life. You don’t know if it’s because it’s midweek, you had to serve so many grumpy customers today. Everyone was so impatient, some guy even shouted at you to hurry up when you were swarmed with drink orders during peak hour. Towards the end of the shift, you were careless while taking someone’s pie out of the over and burnt your hand. 

The worse thing is, you can’t even sleep when you get home because you have a paper due in two days and you barely started it. Thinking about having to sit down to write an essay after one of the worst shifts of your life already has you close to tears. You’re so tired and the semester break still seems so far away. 

Similar to you, Renjun is finally leaving the library after working on his essay all day. His eyes feel like they’re about to pop out and his head is pounding. Before heading home though, he decides to drop by the convenient store to grab a couple cans of energy drinks since he ran out. As he’s paying, Renjun feels a familiar ache in his chest and he reckon it’s caused by you again. Recently, chest pains are perfectly normal occurrence to him. 

As he walks out of the convenient store, bidding the cashier goodbye, he slowly walks to the pedestrian crossing to begin walking home. The green man just turned red so he stops before the yellow line, waiting for it to turn green again. Renjun’s chest begins to hurt a little more and he can already feel tears starting to well up in his eyes. Just then, a young lady about his age walk past him and doesn’t stop walking. 

You’re walking home from the cafe and all you can think about is the miserable day you had, how tired you are and how much more you had to do. You’re about to cross the road when a hand grabs onto your arm and pulls you back. All you hear was a loud, “Watch out!” and the loud honking from the car that zoomed past just a few feet away from you. “Shit, what are you doing? You could have died!” You’re too shocked from what happened when you finally realise what just happened. 

You look to the boy beside who is still holding onto you tightly, he has tears rolling down his cheeks and you feel that boiling in your chest you know all too well. The two of you stare at each other and it clicks. Images of each other flashes in both your minds almost like you’ve known each other your whole life. He slowly lets go of your arm and the beeping from the traffic light alerts you two that the red man has turned green and it is safe to cross the road. 

“So you’re the reason I’m always crying for no reason…” Renjun starts as he wipes his tears and you chuckle almost sadly, “I’m sorry…” He laughs too, this is a little awkward. No one really ever teaches you what to do when you first meet your soulmate. “A-are you okay though?” Renjun asks as he calms down, looking at you with concern in his eyes. “Not really but… I’ll survive.” You reply, giving him a liptight grin. “Why are you always so frustrated?” You ask and it’s his turn to feel a little embarrassed. “My bad, I’m not the best at staying calm…” It’s silent again when the two of you finally reach the other side of the road.

“I’m Renjun, by the way.” “I’m y/n.” “Please be careful when you’re crossing the road…” “Right, thank you for saving my life… drinks on me someday… I work at the cafe just down the street.” You tell him as you point towards the direction of the cafe. Renjun nods with the prettiest smile on his face and you already feel yourself blushing. “I’ll come by after my classes tomorrow, will you be there?” “Yea, I’ll be there.” With that you two part ways, you’ve never been more excited for work and Renjun has never been more thrilled to attend his classes. An unfamiliar feeling erupts in both your chests, it’s a warm, fluttering feeling. As you two walk home, you both can’t help the smile that finds it way to your faces.

[imagine-a-life-like-this]

Oh shit, Mae? Honestly kinda loving it.

Sometimes murder is okay, especially when the killer is🥰🥰

Idk if Woo is just acting or suddenly a tolerable non-douchebag…. Prolly the former

Hiii!!! How are you? You eating and/ or feeling good? Hope you’re drinking water! Sending love and support 🫶🏽🫶🏽

Bestieeeeeeee!!!! So a few things

1.) the dance is Friday, i’m freaking outt

2.) we’ve been holding hands a lot(!) and recently i’ve been chilling on his lap, but today i took a lil nap while on his lap and after waking me up for class he said “I couldn’t feel my arm but it was worth it, i’d let it happen again, many times actually” and i just🥰🥹 cause i was scared that i’d add too much weight of sumn and without me even bringing it up i was reassured 😭.

2.5) this one isn’t big just felt like mentioning it. During the last class of the day we sit next to each other and we were holding hands under the table right? Then when i had to write j moved my hand, now i expected him to start writing too but no! he moved his hand onto my thigh and kept it there until i stopped writing (cause then i could hold hus hand again). Its amazing bc im a stage 5 clinger & he reciprocates the clinginess😊

3.) so I have this ring that is soo cute but doesn’t fit any of my fingers, so i put if on a chain. We now share the necklace.. like deadass if i feel like wearing it ill just go take it off of him then give it back later. And its not just the fact that he’s wearing something of mine but also that he likes it, and he looks good in it.

4.)im in marching band yea? So tonight was a v important game (it was against the rival school, we won 47-0) and he came!! Like ik he was coming but still☺️. So once halftime is over meaning band is done with the halftime show i see messages from my dad & aunt….. why were they sitting right behind him 😭 they got along but i was so scared the entire time, not to mention the nerves that were already there from performing in a bigger stadium than im used to

Like im convinced he’s trying to kill me. Cause literally why else would he be this great? Like wdym you like clinginess, you get along with my dad, and you’re keeping your hand on my thigh??? This man must be stopped. Anywho just wanted to do a lil catching up (and ranting abt him bc im sure my other friends are sick n tired of hearing abt him

Is it actually Mae though 🧐 she could kill me and I would thank her regardless 🥵

PLS YOU'RE SO FUNNY 😂

Hi bestie 🥰 I'm doing well ! Drinking water and eating well. I hope you are too. Sending so much love and support your way. It's coming. You can't stop it 💕💕💕

Omg bestie all of this. All of this is so cute. I am obsessed. Like I feel like I was there and watching my best friend find someone good for them and I'm just smiling 🥹 this is so cute and soft and I am so very happy for you !!!

Such a green flag that he gets along with your dad honestly. And that he supports you. Like yes. So much yes. I am seeing a neon sign that says yes !!!

And you can always come here and tell me about everything because I love hearing about this ! I want to know everything. Please tell me everything 😭

But omg bestie my boyfriend has been too cute to me lately. He keeps calling me his princess and his wife and I 🥺 he even did matching profile pictures with me because I asked. He will literally just randomly text me out of the blue "wife I love you" and I swoon every time. This man is the whole ass love of my life I swear.

[bananastarion]

hello :)

I saw your post about you deleting your own art. I think a lot of people on here know the feeling, I know I certainly do. I immediately felt weirdly grandmotherly about what you said in your tags, like, oh no! oh poor baby! here, have some raisin cookies and some tea, let me hug you, nanny's here or whatever X)

I have deleted some stuff in the past as well (I write). It can feel better this way, it's a kind of mental hygiene, yea?

But listen, honey. That's the point. I'm making a bit of an assumption here, but to me it's downright terrifying to post the thing I've poured my heart and soul into and send it out into the webs. Maybe it's a little like taking your kid too school for the first time. If it (your art) doesn't do as well, if, for some reason, it doesn't seem to resonate with your audience as much as it does with you, that's incredibly hurtful.

So, because I feel that pain, I really do, I'd like to share THE best creative advice I've ever gotten:

When I was experiencing bad writer's blog, a GORGEOUS writer here on tumblr whom I admire very much, said this: "We (writers and artists) are capable of an incredible feat of self love. Ideas build up in our heads, long before we start actually creating. Then, one day, out of the blue, we sit down and type the first word" (or draw the first pencil stroke in your case, yes?) "people who don't create, have no idea how much it takes to do that." And that will probably never change. Sad, but true. That is sometimes reflected in the amount of response we get. (fuck notes am i right) Letting yourself get too dependent on that can feel really poisonous. It is, I believe, the exact opposite of that self love. The perceived "love" other people show for our work. It sucks the life right out of you. Everybody feels the need for that praise. When we fall in love with another person, we feel the same urge to tell them and shout it out into the world. But we also have that instinct to keep it (the love, the art) to ourselves, protect and shelter it. Think of a teenager in love for the first time. They may be more likely to blurt it out, unaware that people don't always respond to us as tenderly as we may wish. And that hurts, like hell.

But no matter how frustrated you get, always, always try to find your back to that! The self love! And self love doesn't mean seeing no flaws in your art, never criticizing or questioning what you do and how "well" you do it. It means to KEEP DOING IT, no matter what. Take breaks if you need to, breaks are great. But always get back to the self love. That is why we do it, I think.

So post if you feel ready for it. Or don't if you need to swaddle that babe for a little while longer (what). But keep creating and keep loving it.

If you need a partner in crime and art, please: feel free to hit me up anytime. We could be accountability buddies, or art buddies or the agony-that-is-the-creative-process-buddies, or just friends :)

And if this monstrositiy of unsolicited advice is totally missing the point, feel free to ignore me. :)

Sorry it took me a minute to get back to you, I've been super busy this week helping my dad plan a wine dinner ahdjkfh it's a whole thing... anyway.

It was really kind of you to take the time to write all of this for a stranger, so thank you. I used to be a prolific writer and artist, it would just flow out of me effortlessly. It was never on a professional level or anything, but I didn't do it to impress anyone. I did it entirely for myself.

Then some things happened in my life that destroyed my confidence (not just in my art, but in general) and my creativity suffered immensely. I developed a terrible block that has lasted for years, with no end in sight. Every time I try to get back into things, I find myself frustrated that my output isn't even close to par with what I had done years ago. And most of my work from the past has been lost or destroyed, so I have nothing to show for it. It feels so frustrating, like some part of me has been lost that I can't recover, and now that I'm older it feels too late to bother trying to get it back. So when I finally, actually try while fighting my block every step of the way, putting in a tremendous effort for a lackluster result, only to have my perceptions (seemingly) confirmed by receiving no validation, it really hurt me in a way I wasn't expecting it to. I was considered a prodigy as a child, but my skills quickly stagnated and declined as I got older due to mental health issues... I feel like I let everyone who once believed in me down. Even my own mom, who has a masters degree in art, said "You were good for a child, but you're just not very good anymore. Maybe it's time to find something else", and that was kind of the final nail in the coffin for me.

I think you hit the nail (different nail than the one in the coffin...lol) on the head, that it's not my creativity I've lost, but my self love. Your insight was beautifully said, and rings true. Sorry to just dump my life story on you here, but thanks for listening and caring. It sounds like you can relate, and I'm sorry that you can, but I'd be happy to help encourage you and engage with your creative work as well! Hit me up any time! You seem like an awesome person, and your message was in tune and on time for me. :)

[heariam]

Alright, World. I'm going to do it. I never thought I would do it but... here I am doing it.

I am going to get metaphorically butt ass naked.

I love nothing more than to appear picture perfect to the world and you'll probably never catch me slip in public. I hold my head high with confidence, dress nice, use my please and thank you's, and am the first one to ask about your life and how you are doing but as soon as the conversation turns over to me you won't get much more than "I'm doing great." or "I'm so tired but God is so good even through the valleys." But you definitely won't hear a thing or get a glimpse about what those valleys look.

You see, I've learned that you can never let anyone get too, too close... That's because as soon as I let off a little too much I am met with rejection and judgment. And honestly that's okay. I'll leave the comfortable stories for the people that want to stay comfortable. But I do have a lot to say and a story to tell. I would very much like to invite anyone who doesn't mind the mess, raw imperfections, awful sense of humor, into my wild story, life and mind.

So... a bit of a warning and so that you get more of an understanding of what I am trying to say: My grammar is going to suck (in case you haven't already noticed), my mind will spaz, I WILL digress, I'm a bit insane (only a bit), and I am not holding back any of this mess.

WELCOME.

I am trying to recall the thoughts I was having earlier today that brought me here in the first place. Let's see... I came home from the big city where I dropped the kids off at their dad's house for the day and made the decision to come home to my quiet little bungalow in a little rural neighborhood far outside the city. The plan was to sleep the rest of the day. Which of course didn't happen. I got home, plopped on the bed, snuggled my blanket and got to thinking about my new boyfriend if you know what I'm saying... after my fun a sunk deep into the quiet of my empty home, enjoying the misty and gloomy day when my mind started to wander into my past as well as recalling the conversation I had the night before.

What was that about...? Oh, yea. Past psychical and psychological abuse, drug addiction, crazy ex's, demons and the time I took 5 grams of magic mushrooms, met the Lord and my entire life flipped upside down.

Okay, that's a good start to a couple of different stories that I will have to leave for future posts.

Earlier when these thoughts first occurred, I thought to myself "I need to get myself some coffee then head to the library. There's so much that needs to be aired out and stories to tell." I had this perfectly dramatic, inspirational story put together in my head. Of course, as soon pulled into the library parking lot my mind drew a blank, so this is what I've got for today. I am sitting here letting my empty caffeinated brain do its thing.

I am wondering how it is going to go tagging these posts considering I am a Christian, but I am not coming to this site to post any lies or fluff about my life. I did not find God by having a perfect cookie cutter life. I was a mess then and will admit that I am still, in fact, a mess. Though, I can definitely say I am in a better place in my life and on the right track. I am trying my absolute best here but in the words of Kendrick Lamar "I am a sinner who's probably going to sin again." and I am more than sure there are plenty of others who can relate or even if you can't, want to understand things from different perspectives.

My prayer is that this blog is inspiring and brings hope and wisdom to all. Believers and non-believers. That being said there is no doubt that I will say some unhinged stuff and my walk with Christ is never perfect. But I am always willing to admit my mistakes and continue to move forward on the narrow path. Either way, I am excited to see where this goes and to share this all with you.

[survey--s]

616.

What EXACTLY are you doing?: Taking this survey, watching Below Deck Down Under and stretching my back out as it's really achy for some reason.

What’s the last funny thing you saw on tv?: Something on QI.

Have you ever felt so low, you thought you wouldn’t recover?: Yeah, been there.

The last song you listened to was by?: Emily Ann Roberts.

You’re more: sane or insane?: It depends on the day. <--- yep, that about sums it up.

Would the world be different without music?: Of course it would be.

Have you ever been to therapy/counseling?: Yeah, I was in therapy for a while when I was at university.

Explain an out-of-body experience you’ve had:: I've never had one.

How old were you when you lost your virginity? 17.

Have you ever eaten something while high, that is disgusting to you when you’re sober?: I've never been high.

Ever watched the sun rise?: Yea, sure.

Some lyrics off the top of your head:: I am my mother's savage daughter, the one who runs barefoot cursing sharp stones. I am my mother's savage daughter - I will not cut my hair, I will not lower my voice.

Out of all the people you know, who has the most over-protective father?: I have no idea - I don't really know anyone's dad nowadays - we're all adults so parents are largely irrelevant in that respect.

What is something you and your significant other talk about regarding the future?: Holidays and doing up the house.

Do you have any chronic illnesses or a mental diagnosis?: I have the following diagnoses: sacroiliitis, dysmennorhea, depression and generalised anxiety.

Name any/all drugs you have ever used?: I've never taken any illegal drugs.

Do you blow dry your hair or let it dry naturally?: It depends. Lately I've been blow-drying it because I've also been straightening it, but normally I just let it dry naturally.

If you’ve had stitches, where on your body were they?: On the back of my head when I fell off the monkey bars and on my chin and forehead when I fell over rollerblading.

Which of your five senses do you think is the best?: Smell.

Is there a song that describes how you felt yesterday? What?: I'm So Tired by The Beatles hahah. Yesterday was pretty rubbish as I had my period and just felt absolutely awful.

The last funny thing a friend said?: Nothing specific is coming to mind.

What was the last thing you did that made you feel accomplished?: Doing a four mile walk this morning and not physically struggling once. I never used to be able to get up the woods without stopping and today I managed the entire route in one go lol.

What is the worst drug anyone has ever offered you?: I've only ever been offered weed.

A childhood memory off the top of your head:: Finding a cat in our kitchen in our first house and then crying when my dad said we couldn't keep it.

How many art classes have you had?: I took art in school up until year 9.

Do you hate the way you feel, or feel the way you hate?: Uh, neither?

What do you think of girls who say they don’t fart or poop?: I'd think they were fundamentally stupid.

Your zodiac sign and birthstone?: Saggitarius, Blue Topaz.

What’s the worst thing about you when you’re angry?: I'm really impulsive and don't think about what I'm saying.

Ever smoked salvia?: No.

Who do you tell EVERYTHING to?: Nobody.

Have you ever been to a rehab facility of any sort?: Nope.

Have you ever found something out you wish you hadn’t?: Yeah.

What is your best experience in life so far?: I really couldn't pick just one thing.

What is “true love” anyway?: I mean, I think everyone has a different definition of that.

Your favorite shoes are?: My black ballet flats.

Is there anything you plan on buying soon?: Yeah, I need a new pair of boots at some point.

The last family member you kissed/hugged was?: My mum.

Ever had surgery? What?: Just wisdom tooth removal.

Is makeup sex really all that great?: It can be amazing if you get it right.

Do you sleep with anything other than pillows, blankets, etc.?: A stuffed bear and the dog, lol. Sometimes the cats come up in the morning when we're having a lie-in as well.

[poisoned-pearls]

Okay so I meant to REBLOG this much earlier but the whole thing I had typed out got deleted. SO ROUND TWO OF TRYNA TELL THIS STORY

So, when Nami was in the second grade, she had a much more difficult time keeping her human and mer forms consistent (since half-mers can freely transform in my lore). She also went to a very fancy and very expensive private school. (Because she’s not only Azuls daughter, she’s Azul’s little baby, and she gets the best) 

So it was often that in class a limb would unfurl or two. Usually not disruptive in class though. 

She did however, have a rather disruptive classmate. Who really thought it was unfair she got tentacles. So one day, he decides to use their scissors and just. Cut one off.

He does quite a bit of damage too. She looses around 4-5 inches off the end.

So obviously she is immediately screaming and crying in pain, because ow, her limb just got cut off.

So now their teacher has to call her dad. (She was only registered under Azul’s name at the time bc Jamil was still traveling, so they didn’t want the school to contact him first if he’s halfway across the world)

Azul has never left a meeting so fast in his life. He’s calling Jamil and they’re storming the school in seconds flat.

They both get there before the other kids dad does, and immediately Azul is comforting Nami, (bc, yet again, that is his baby.) and once the others kids dad arrives? All hell breaks loose.

Jamil is immediately cursing out the dad in Arabic, who looks like it is a nuisance to be there.

See, this kids father is a mid rate higher management man from a company that most people haven’t heard of, and he currently doesn’t see the people in front of him as a threat, just overprotective parents.

So he just ignores them, saying “what’s the big deal? So what if he cut her, it’s like cutting hair. It’ll grow back anyways right? I bet she was just being a dramatic brat. Why don’t we just act like it never happened, no harm no foul?”

And that made livid. “No harm?! Your son maimed my baby!!” 

“Oh please, maim?? he barely touched her!” 

“Barely touched her’? He cut off her tentacle!! Why don’t I just cut off his finger, huh?? You can put it back on, right??”

the principal is now trying to calm the situation down, desperately trying to stop a fight from breaking out in her office between parents, when said little boy decides to pull one of Nami’s ponytails because 1. he's mad at her for telling, 2. was easily spurred on by his dads nonchalance, and 3. Was finally given an opportunity because of Azul's absence. 

Jamil is now ripping this kids hand out of her hair, grabbing his wrist has hard as possible, and yanking him away. Because what the fuck.

Azul swoops nami up as Jamil starts ripping into the dad.

“How the hell have you been raising that little bastard?! You call my daughter a brat when he’s like that?!?” Jamil turns his head towards Azul before continuing, “you need to sic the twins on him before I do something about it.”

“I’m already on it.” 

At this point, the principal is trying to just get everyone to sit, because she has realized that there is no winning this. Azul is texting the twins and Idia to try and figure out who the hell this guy is because he can and will be ruining his life.

I’m not entirely sure how to end this smoothly bc the writing style got away from me BUT yea. Azul bans this guys family from ever coming to any of his restaurants and gets him fired bc he found out who his boss was, and Jamil barely avoids stabbing him.  barely.

and that is the little story I meant to tell

I love love your fankids so damn much! 😭 please share anything you have about any of them bro 🙏🧡

ahhh okay!!

Considering calling baby felmier smth like Lacey. Very southern us name-

nami and Samir regularly bully my treyjade daughter for being British (British museum jokes)

Floyd has two sons, they’re also twins and are the worst. Don’t have names but I call them the piranhas. They terrorize nrc somewhat often

faraja is surprisingly nimble. She’s very good at slipping past people in spell drive

Nami has a routine problem of “Alpha/sigma” dudes trying to get with her while saying the most sexist and abusive shit just bc of Azul’s business. They do think they can run it better than she can, so why doesn’t she just marry them and give them everything?? She fucking despises this shit. (Also. I’ve learned somewhat recently that now they’re tryna say that OMEGAS are on top of those two categories, and I need EVERYONE to start commiting to that bit. Come on. Everyone stay quiet abt it and we can get a politician to call themselves an omega)

Treyjade daughter was dropped by Floyd as a baby (Into a pool, but it was fully an accident. It was just luck they were in a pool)

OH OH FUCK I FORGOT A STORY THING I CAN TALK ABT. GIMME A SEC ILL REBLOG THIS WITH IT- it’s like more of a story so I wanna format it differently

[tinyyoungblood]

hi!! adore your work love. could you maybe do smth where stark!reader has to get her wisdom teeth out but HATES the dentist so she brings her boyf peter and her dad w her?? and then when they get home the avengers are all waiting with like comical amounts of flowers and stuffed animals and then reader says some funny shiii and thor thinks she’s like dying lol. idk if that made sense but i’m getting my wisdom teeth out soon and i’m scared😭 thank u so so much love u babe

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

a/n: tysm lovely :,) i rushed through this like my life depended on it, but i hope i’m not too late. either way, i hope you’re okay! it’s frightening but those bad boys gotta go because we don’t need that kind of energy in our lives. enjoy x

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

wisdom teeth? more like wisdoom

y/n has to get her wisdom teeth removed and it’s the singular most dreadful thing she’s ever had to do, which says a lot because her dad is tony richling stark

doing dreadful things she doesn’t want to do but still somehow end up doing just because she can is a personality trait at this point

no one really makes a big deal out of it since ~death~ is part of their job description, but y/n is terrified

and when a stark is terrified the only thing that will keep them one step from insanity is researching the hell out of it

that information will be info dumped into every conversation for the next few weeks leading up to the appointment

“y/n you need anything from the store?” "no thanks, did you know the side effects of getting your wisdom teeth out include ✨sudden death or blood clots✨ tho” “……..i have a coupon?”

the day of the appointment, peter comes along and literally doesn’t let go of y/n’s hand. he keeps touching her to let her know that he’s there and it’s so. adorable

he would rest his hand on her knee, gently stroke her back while holding her, or just play with her hair

happy drops them off and he’s too Cool™ for emotions but he knows y/n’s a wreck, so he just fist bumps her with a single nod and she almost breaks down bc it’s really affectionate

y/n is sitting in the dentist chair and genuinely nothing is happening yet, but she’s squeezing peter’s hand like it’s a sponge

peter might have a high pain tolerance but he’s in pain pain and he prays that his hand won’t just explode on him

the dentist notices how peter tries to keep it together and chuckles

“you okay there, son?” “yea it’s fine, had a better time when a building fell on me tho haha” “pardon?” “oh i mean i didn’t have a good time, i just had a better time”

because y/n is running Anxious Town™, the dentist gives her a sedative to help her relax 

plus, an injection of local anaesthetic to numb the tooth and surrounding area

she doesn’t feel anything and it’s GREAT

the procedure is quicker than expected and now the real fun begins

she tries to walk but she falls down so peter scoops her up bridal style and happy stays glued at her side

y/n doesn’t mind although she literally doesn’t recognise them and they’re practically strangers to her

but girly sees an opportunity and tries to flirt with peter bc why wouldn’t she

“you’re pretty” *blushes* “why thanks” “you should let your girlfriend know” “i should let her know i’m pretty?” “so you do have a gf? :(” “yea it’s you” “:)”

they stop for gas and peter goes in to get some water for y/n, and in her infinite wisdom, she decides it’s burger time

her mouth is completely numb and she’s practically leaving a trail of drool behind her, but she’d kill for a burger right now

so she wobbles around aimlessly for an hour on some random parking lot as if the ground might just magically open up like a rabbit hole and lead her to five guys

she’s going places. not back to the car. definitely not five guys. they’re closed. but places

peter finally finds her and he’s drenched from head to toe in sweat. he doEsn’T wAnt tO tALk abOut iT tho so she lets him take her to subway instead

normally, she would know that peter’s usual subway order is bread-lettuce-jalapeño

but in her drugged-up state, it had simply slipped her mind so now she’s staring at him like he’d just murdered someone right in front of her

“that- that’s your order?? no meat or anything just bread, lettuce, and a little spice?”

meanwhile at the compound, sam and steve are ordering everyone around bc they want to decorate this place before y/n gets home to surprise her

they take it very seriously too. they’ve watched like one HGTV show and said it’s our time

they finally get home and tony gives y/n a big hug, asking her what took so long

happy tells him that she was keen on getting burgers bc apparently someone has taught her that stressful times call for ~cheeseburgers~

he proceeds to look at tony with a pointed look

tony just shrugs and goes “she was a problem child. we don’t mention her dark past”

she’s swaying on the spot and keeps grinning like a fool and thor just stares at her weirdly before elbowing bruce and whispering loudly,

“what’s wrong with her? is she dying? should i start collecting leaves, i know this remedy—"

no one can tell if y/n is just happy to see the newly decorated home or if she’s just delighted to see everyone but then she goes around hugging the entire team

she doesn’t even acknowledge the sky-high pile of teddy bears and flowers everywhere bc she’s just squeezing everybody

y/n is so high, she just starts to spill all of her feelings about everyone and they’re already so overwhelmed by the hug chain they can’t take this too

“wanda i just want you to know that you’re like my big sister and you’re always taking care of me and i know you and vision are just going to make such good parents one day”

“bucky you absolute PRICK, you FIEND, you’re the best chess player ever and that’ll never change and i wouldn’t be good without you, i hate to say it but you deserve happiness even after you made me lose five times in a row yesterday”

“dad, you’re so strong and smart, even though we’re like never on the same page, you’re always along for the ride, i want to be like you when i grow up, i swear i’m gonna try to be as good to the avengers as you were to us” “aww- wait makes you think i'll be the first to die“

“nat you’re such a bitch about your protein shakes but you’re my best friend and i wouldn’t have it any other way, you can try out as many make up looks on me as you want”

“bruce, brucey, i would live with you in your lab for the rest of my days if i had to, whenever you ask me to hand you stuff i feel useful and important”

“laura’s way out of your league clint i have no idea how the fuck you got her but don’t lose her and i want to be your next child’s godmother”

“steve…we’re your family now. we’re always gonna be your family now. okay?”

“loki you’re not fooling anyone with your attitude, we all know you’re part of the family, you were just misunderstood and messed up bc of your dad–FUCK him by the way–but i realised everyone deserves as many chances as they need because of you”

“sam i would genuinely kill anyone who wronged you, even if they cut you in line at the grocery store, i would knife them no hesitation”

“thor, you poor golden retriever have been through so much, on my way here i made a wish on an eyelash for you bc you deserve better, your postcards always make my day, love you”

she mumbles something to peter that no one else can hear but he blushes and chokes back a sob

y/n orders hot soup and bucky brings it to her but before he even has time to react peter drops everything and ZOOMS across the room in .3 seconds

he barrels into bucky so hard they both go flying, but peter just smoothly rolls out of it and onto his feet like some kind of super ninja

“DUDE WHAT THE HELL” “😠 y/n is not supposed to drink hot liquids 😠”

all of this happens in mere seconds but sam has filmed it all and now slow mo clips go viral online of some mysterious kid knocking over the winter soldier

y/n’s a little in and out after that, but when she fully regains consciousness, she’s on a pile of blankets, surrounded by the team on the floor <3

* * *

let me know if this is actually comforting lmao stay hydrated pals

hc masterlist

[kpostedsum]

daddy issues; D.M

summary: you and draco bond over issues in 6th year

word count: 2.4k

warnings: err angst, comfort, illusions to sex

song: daddy issues (the remix) - the neighbourhood

a/n: i tried not to make it stereotypical bc i didn’t wanna make it seem all “i like older men lol”, probably my fav fic i’ve written, also arent these anime gifs so cute

masterlist | taglist

Take you like a drug

I taste you on my tongue

Tongues battling for dominance, bodies rubbing against each other searching for a feeling. It’s become routine now, a different person in your dorm swallowing a new pill, entangling limbs with someone just to feel something.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

It was a constant cycle, putting yourself out there seeking the male attention you crave, seeking validation, constant reassurance and trusting too easily. That’s how you ended up with a different guy who always in the end leaves. You trusted too easily and people took advantage of how trusting and naive you are just for a quick shag.

You wished it wasn’t like this but that’s all you knew, wanting to be the best version of yourself for someone just to feel needed, no matter if the person was good or bad for you. You didn’t care, you wanted love from anyone you could get it from even if it just hurt you more.

You’re familiar with the absence, something stable made you feel a bit wary. It wasn’t something you were used to. Your father wasn’t the most present in your life, and even though he's there, he's never really there.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

You always wondered where you went wrong, he preferred your siblings over you and doesn't pay you a piece of his mind. Constantly going out of your way to get his attention whether it was academically or acting a certain way just to get some sort of reaction. But he was too preoccupied with his other children, even if they were from your mom or his affairs.

That’s how you found yourself right now sitting in the astronomy tower past curfew watching the rain fall, trying to clear your head while humming softly to yourself to keep yourself distracted.

You hear distant chattering from below and quickly get up from where you were sitting and make your way to your dorm unnoticed by anyone.

Except one person, Draco Malfoy.

I tried to write your name in the rain

But the rain never came

So I made with the sun

The shade

Always comes at the worst time

He’s seen you before, you’re known around Hogwarts for how you put yourself out there and how ‘desperate’ you are for some affection. He almost feels bad for you, but he’s in no place to judge. With his dad in Azkaban Draco had so much more to worry about, like his task and how he can succeed. But there was something about you that intrigued him that he couldn't ignore.

He saw you again in transfiguration the next day and noticed a few hickeys littering your neck that you had tried to cover but it didn’t work. He wondered why you gave yourself up to so many people, but once again he was in no place to judge. He noticed the way your tongue would stick out when you focused extra hard, the way your hands would tighten around your quill when you got a question wrong and your face.

The same face that many boys including the older years would fawn over, the face that entranced and attracted many, the face of someone who would do anything for someone for some affection and the face of someone who seeked out all the wrong things.

You ask me what I'm thinking about

I tell you that I'm thinking about

Whatever you're thinking about

Tell me something that I'll forget

And you might have to tell me again

It's crazy what you'll do for a friend

You walk out of transfiguration on your way to the owlery to send a letter to your parents and feel eyes watching you everywhere. You like it, the attention, it’s something that you thrived in, but you couldn’t help but feel a new set of eyes on you.

Once you reached the owlery you realized you weren't the only one there, Draco Malfoy was also there sending a letter to who you assumed was his mother.

“y/n, right?” he asked, trying to spark a conversation.

“Yea, listen i’m sorry about what happened with your father i know you really looked up--”

“Dont worry about it, he wasn’t as good an influence as I made him out to be,” he sighed, looking away.

“My dad isn’t the best either if i’m being honest, i guess we’re in the same boat” you let out a light chuckle.

And that’s how you found yourself hanging out with draco malfoy bonding over your shared issues.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues

It’s been weeks since you two started hanging out since the interaction in the owlery and have been getting closer ever since. You both sat down together in the astronomy tower, backed against the wall as the cool wind blew against your faces. The aura between you two was calm, a comfortable silence.

“So tell me about your dad, how is it with him in Azkaban?” you asked, tilting your head towards him.

“Mother’s not taking it well” he frowned. “I can’t even say potter’s wrong for getting him locked up because he deserves it. All my life he praised the dark lord and taught me to be selfish and always defend my blood, but he was never there for me when I needed him. I would have done everything just to hear ‘i’m proud of you’ but it never came. It’s worse now because mother’s all alone. I wish I could have stayed with her” he sighed looking out the tower watching the stars twinkle.

“I’ve noticed you’ve been much quieter this year as well, you stopped making fun of people. It’s not that nice on the receiving end huh?” you said with a teasing look on your face.

He shook his head at you scooting closer to you, it’s like the demeanor between you two have changed over the past few weeks. You found yourself pining over him rather than being in someone's bed. But this is how the cycle always goes, you get attached and they leave, you couldn’t help but hope this wasn’t the situation this time.

“Tell me about your father”

Daddy stuck around but he wasn't present

Cheated on your mom but she never left him

First I didn't get it, now I understand

He broke her heart, left money in her hand

So everything got paid for

She made sure you and your brother had way more

Than she ever had growing up

And when you told me the whole story I felt like throwing up

“ I don't know if i’d even call him my father at this point, he doesn't want me.” you sighed. “He's been cheating on my mum for years now and she still won't leave him because she thinks they can work it out. He’s had affairs with different pureblood women and has children with them. But what hurts the most is how he treats them as his own children and treats me as if I don't exist” you said, looking down as tears pooled your eyes.

Draco moved closer to you and brought his arm around your shoulders for a sense of comfort and waited for you to catch your breath so you can continue.

“I just want him to love me” you cried. “I go out my way to try and get his attention with my school work but it never works. That's why I get along with so many guys. I seek the validation, the comfort and the reassurance that I can get from him from others and I am so tired of it. I just want him to want me draco.” tears slipping out your eyes as you looked up at him, you’ve never confessed this to anyone before.

“Everyone always leaves, please don't leave me” you cried

“I’m not going anywhere” he turned his face towards you, leaning forward cautiously as if you were made of glass.

You leaned forward, wanting the exact same thing. Both very hesitant he gently pressed his soft lips against yours and they moved together in sequence, only taking a break to go back to his dorm and to breathe, limbs tangled together for the rest of the night until the sun rose.

I can see it on your face it was rough left a bad taste on your tongue

And she didn't even take any drug

She would rain all day

Couldn't wait for her son to shine

And you made it shine

There when she cried, you saved her life

It's been a week since that night in the astronomy tower and draco had already been avoiding you. It’s humiliating, but you should have known. You thought the ‘bond’ you had with him would last, it felt so genuine this time. So real.

You’d see him around the halls snogging pansy on your way back to the ravenclaw tower, lowering your head down so he wouldn’t be able to see you so you could get by quickly and unnoticed.

But he saw you.

He stared you right down in your teary eyes as he made out with pansy. You couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal, for someone who promised he wouldn’t leave you like everyone else, he did the exact same.

You did the only thing you knew of, you ran.

I keep on trying to let you go

I'm dying to let you know

How I'm getting on

I didn't cry when you left at first

But now that you're dead it hurts

This time I gotta know

Where did my daddy go?

I'm not entirely here

Half of me has disappeared

Draco followed you to the girls lavatory, hearing your shallow cries coming from one of the stalls. He approached the stall you were in trying not to make too much noise so he doesn't startle you.

He felt awful.

He promised he would never leave you, after you both poured your hearts out to each other but he still left. He had too, he was putting you in danger just by being with him. If Voldemort ever found out about you and hurt you he wouldn't be able to live with himself, that's why he took it upon himself to hurt you first.

“y/n are you in here?” he called out even though he knew the answer.

You recognized that familiar voice anywhere. “What do you want draco?” you said, trying to make it seem as if you weren’t just crying.

“I want to talk to you, please”

“No,” you said getting up and pushing yourself out of the stall. “You don't get to just throw me away after I told you everything and just come back into my life like nothing ever happened. Just go away, that's all you guys are good for” you spat.

“Just listen to me, it was to keep you safe. I didn;t want to but i couldn't bear seeing you hurt” he tried to explain.

“Safe?” you laughed. “ and what exactly do i need saving from, malfoy.”

“From me” he said as he pulled up his sleeve revealing his dark mark to you. Your body instantly tensed, you knew he was having problems and his family was involved with the dark lord but you never knew it was like this.

“Draco i-” you tried to say something but the words were stuck in your throat. He stood there looking at you desperately like he was waiting for you to tell him everything was okay, you wanted to be there for him but you didn’t know what to do. You trusted him with everything but he couldn't trust you with this? You thought the bond you had made would have made him trust you in the slightest, but clearly it's always you who’s more trusting.

“Why didn't you tell me?” you managed to say, your voice hoarse.

“I thought you’d leave me, you were the only good thing i had. Please don't leave me” he begged, salty tears escaping his eyes and running down his cheeks as he looked at you with desperation.

“So you thought pushing me away by snogging pansy was better?” you yelled, as he continued to look at you slightly taken aback by your lashing out.

“You know what, go ahead and cry little boy. You know that your daddy did too, you know what your mama went through. You gotta let it out soon, just let it out” you taunted walking closer to him looking straight into his teary eyes.

“This time I'll be the one that leaves.” and with that you were gone.

Go ahead and cry, little girl

Nobody does it like you do

I know how much it matters to you

I know that you got daddy issues

And if you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

It’s been months since that night in the girls lavatory, and you missed him. You wanted to visit him in the hospital wing once you heard what happened with Harry Potter, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. He left you, and you were tired of always going back to people who just hurt you.

Now here you were at the battle of Hogwarts, standing with everyone while Voldemort and his death eaters stood across from you all.

“Draco, draco come here” you heard narcissa call from across the scene. He looked hesitant, as if he was waiting for someone to stop him but no one did. So he started walking over to his parents.

But you grabbed his hand.

“Stay please” you whispered looking up into his eyes.

He looked back at his parents and back at you like he was contemplating his answer.

“I’ll stay”

If you were my little girl

I'd do whatever I could do

I'd run away and hide with you

I love that she's got daddy issues, and I do too

—————-

tagging fun ppl nd ppl who interacted (so srry if u don’t wanna be tagged)

@hellohellook @astoria-malfcy @justfangirlthingies @sfdlm @falling-loki @notvasi @gwlvr @malfoytookmyheart

[helliontherapscallion]

Hello! For the event, can I please get a Philza x male reader who has old scars from self harming? Like, the reader was like "Yea, I had problems with my self esteem". And Phil just comforting him? Thank you!

Food Fights and Comfort

Warnings: swearing, self harm scars, and self harm mentions (nothing graphic)

“You have no idea how hard getting that enchantment was,” Tommy groaned out through a mouthful of half-chewed food. Wilbur reached over to slap him upside the head, “don’t talk with your mouth full. No one wants to see that.”

“Fuck off Wilbur I can do what I want!” Tommy shoved more food into his mouth, chewed it up, and opened his mouth wide facing Wilbur. Your older brother wrinkled his nose in disgust before he shoveled some mashed potatoes onto his spoon and flung it at Tommy where it collided with his shirt. Tommy looked at the brunet with rage before he swallowed his food and scooped up some mashed potatoes and drew his spoon back. Philza’s hand on his arm and his warning glare made him freeze.

“Tommy, if you throw that I swear to god I’m gonna ground you for a month.”

“But- but he started it! I-”

“Let me finish. And Wilbur’s grounded from his guitar for two weeks.”

“C’mon! He-” Wilbur was cut off by Philza’s angry glare, “don’t make me extend it to a month, Wilbur.”

Technoblade leaned over to Tommy when Philza wasn’t looking and whispered in his ear, “if you do it, I’ll do your chores for two weeks.”

“Make it three and you have yourself a deal,” he hissed back at the pink haired teenager.

“...Fine, just do it.”

You silently watched as Tommy genuinely considered it before picking up his mashed potato-armed spoon and flinging the potatoes at the tall brunet next to you. They splattered on his yellow sweater making Wilbur look at him in offense before scooping his food once more and returning fire, his elbow knocking over your mug. The steaming contents of the mug splashed onto you and scalded your arms, soaking through your thick sweater.

A startled yelp left your mouth as you leapt up from your seat frantically trying to brush off the offending liquid unsuccessfully with your hands. The table fell silent as they watched you.

“Shit, I’m so sorry (y/n), I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, Wil, accidents happen. If you all would excuse me, I’m just gonna go clean myself up.”

“Here, let me help you-” Wilbur pushed himself up from his chair only to sit back down when Philza put a hand on his shoulder.

“No, you stay here and clean up this mess. This is exactly why I didn’t want you two to have a food fight, someone always gets hurt.” He walked over to you with a small, reassuring smile, “c’mon.”

You grew increasingly nervous as he led you to the bathroom, your hands pulling your sleeves down repeatedly. He didn’t know about your scars, they were something you struggled with accepting even though it’s been almost a year since you’ve stopped. You were lucky, he had adopted you just at the beginning of fall when you could wear long sleeves as much as you wanted without getting weird looks.

After sitting you on the counter, he turned to rummage in the closet for the first aid kit. From your short time here, you could already tell that the family would go through first aid kits fast. It was a very accident-but-not-really-accident prone family.

He let out a triumphant laugh as he found the box and turned around to look at you, wiggling it in the air, “found it! Now, let’s patch you up, yeah?” When you made no move to push your sleeves up, he furrowed his brows and looked at you a bit closer. He could see the shame and anxiety on your face as clear as day, confusing him to no end. From your short time living with him, you were always an open book, telling him anything whenever he would ask.

“Kid, why’re your sleeves over your hands? I’ve got to see if you have any burns, so if you could push them up I can put some ointment on them.”

You hesitated, the last time you had shown someone your scars was when you were still at the orphanage. You had shown your best friend at the time, and they exploded at you. They told you that you were a freak, that you were an emo for self harming. They ended up spilling everything to the other orphans, and word spread fast at the orphanage; every day was the same there, so they craved new information like it was an addict’s drug.

That began the assault of ‘show us your wrists’ and ‘barcode scanner’ jokes being thrown your way. You became the outcast of the orphanage as fast as you became the loved one. You weren’t sure if the adults knew about it, but if they did, they turned a blind eye to the torment you were going through. It was a miracle that you managed to stay clean during that entire time, you were so close to relapsing. If it hadn’t been for Philza adopting you when he did, you would’ve fallen back into your old ways.

You knew Philza would never do that, as he was one of the kindest people you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. However, you had thought about your ex best friend and reflected on what they did to you. Philza had something they hadn't, however, he had your complete trust.

You prepared yourself for the looks of horror and potentially getting thrown back into the orphanage and hesitantly pushed your sleeves up to your elbows. When Philza saw this, he gave you a reassuring smile and quickly got to work on your slightly burnt forearms.

The entire time, he said nothing about the blatantly obvious scars that littered your wrists. This confused you since there was no way that he didn’t see them. Before you knew it, he tied off the bandages and put his hand on yours gently.

“Those should heal soon, you just gotta keep putting ointment on it and let it breathe for a while each day. If you want to, we can go downstairs and finish our dinner.”

You snapped yourself out of the daze you were in and cleared your dry throat awkwardly, “sure, that… that sounds good.”

“Great,” he gave you another smile before he went to leave the bathroom, “I’ll meet you downstairs, just come down when you’re ready.”

“Wait!” You hadn’t meant to say it so loud that it scared the blond, but the anxiety and paranoia that almost blocked your throat forced the word to be louder than intended. He jumped slightly and looked back at you with a soft, yet questioning gaze.

You pushed your sleeves down and fiddled with the ends of them, “you’re not going to say anything?”

“I’d never force anybody to do anything they’re uncomfortable with, it’s just not the right thing to do. It’s always better to let people open up to you whenever they’re ready to,” he said, walking over to you again and standing in front of you. “The same goes to you, I’m always going to be here to listen whenever you’re ready to talk about it.”

You shrunk in on yourself slightly and nodded, contemplating on whether you should tell him about what pushed you to that point, how you were treated when you had opened up about it for the first time. Eventually, you swallowed past the lump that had formed in your throat, “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

And so you told him everything about your previously declining mental health and how the others treated you during your stay at the orphanage. Though he concealed it well, you could still see his anger when you told him about the jokes made at your expense. He never interrupted you to ask questions, he never gave you any sign of malice, he patiently waited for you to continue whenever you paused, and he always showed you that he was actively listening to you whenever you looked at him.

A part of you expected him to kick you out of his house and take you back to the orphanage, but he offered you nothing but his full support. Talking about it, though it was hard, was far easier to do compared to your previous experience. He was an easy person to talk to, radiating a welcoming and judgemental free aura.

“You’re not going to judge me?” You questioned him when you were done, anxiety gripping at your chest. He put a hand on your shoulder and shook his head, “no, you couldn’t help it; it’s heartless to judge someone based on their struggles… You’re a strong person, (y/n). It takes a lot to get yourself out of that cycle and I’m so proud of you for how much you’ve grown and persevered through what life’s thrown at you.”

“I- thanks Dad,” you wrapped your arms around him and squeezed him lightly. Without a second of hesitation, he quickly reciprocated the hug. He tucked your head underneath his chin and rubbed your back in small circles, “any time, I’m always going to be here for you. I love you so much, son.”

[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter two rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!Reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Masterlist and Series Masterlist

Moving and finding an apartment can be an incredibly long and stressful process. Unless you’re you, and life likes to throw a lot of curve balls at you for the utter hell of it.

Your dad dropped dead three weeks after you told Andy you were moving to New York. Coincidentally, right in the middle of you trying to find a place to live. He drank himself to death. Figures. You doubted you’d ever had a conversation with him that he was sober enough to remember. His untimely demise was unfortunate for him, because he died or whatever, but very fortunate for you. As his only child, you got his apartment in Queens and all his smelly hoodies.

You said your goodbyes to Andy and Dani after a night out in the streets of San Francisco. You had originally moved there after high school to start your show, The L/n Report. San Francisco was known for its crimes against the homeless population and you wanted to start with a story on that. You ended up interviewing Andy at the police station while investigating a missing person, and dated him for two years. Now, you were spending your last few hours in San Francisco with the very boy you once loved and the very girl he now did.

“Are you all packed?” Dani asked you, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Pretty much. I gotta put my toothbrush and hairbrush in my suitcase in the morning. Other than that, I’m good to go.” You answered her. She smiled fondly at you as she linked her arm through yours.

“Hey, I’m really gonna miss you. More than that guy over there.” You whispered, nodding towards Andy, who had his head buried in his phone. Dani laughed and nodded in agreement as you continued to walk.

“I’m going to miss you too. You’re my best friend here.” She sighed sadly.

“I’m glad we’re friends. Most women in our position would hate each other.” You thought out loud.

“Uh uh. You’re thinking of women in films. It’s 2021, baby. Women support women. You and I are two talented, smart, beautiful women who would never be caught fighting over some boy. Especially not one who can’t take his eyes off his phone for two seconds.” Dani said loudly and smacked Andy’s arm. You laughed at the domestic moment but couldn’t help feeling a pain in your heart knowing he used to be that way with you.

“What, sorry?” Andy looked up. You and Dani looked at him before looking at each other and laughing.

“What’s funny?” He asked, growing annoyed.

“We’re laughing at you babe. Put your phone away. It’s Y/N’s last night here.” Dani scolded playfully. Andy sighed and reluctantly put his phone in his pocket.

“Right, sorry. And it’s not her last night here. She’s coming back. You are coming back, right?” He asked you. You nodded, though you weren’t entirely sure.

“Of course I’ll be back.” You shrugged. “I just want to experience something new for a while. I’ve done a million pieces on homelessness and poverty. I want to see what fresh stories New York has to offer.”

“You’re quoting the Daily Bugle, aren’t you?” Dani teased you.

“That is verbatim what they said to me.” You admitted with a laugh. “But hey, it worked. As of tomorrow, I’m the Daily Bugle’s newest investigative reporter.”

“Who are you reporting on anyway?” Andy showed a rare interest in your work.

“Some guy named Cletus Kasady.” You answered. “He’s some hot shot serial killer down in Queens. No one knows how he’s hiding his victims bodies. Apparently none have ever been close to being found.”

“And they want you to write the story on him?” Andy raised an eyebrow, always with the condescending tone.

“Well they heard about the whole Carlton Drake situation and decided I hadn’t been through enough trauma in my career.” You replied, earning a laugh from Dani but not Andy. You and Andy had already broken up by the time Carlton Drake contracted a symbiote and tried to kill you and Venom. You stopped him before he could hurt anyone and wrote a career defining article on his lethal human experiments. You managed to leave out all information regarding symbiotes from the article, so your secret was still safe. You were a fairly well known reporter since the incident and your next job was waiting for you in New York.

In the morning, You and Venom got on a plane and made your way to New York. Being on a plane with Venom turned out to be the equivalent to traveling with a toddler. You tried to sleep, but every two seconds you had to stop Venom from getting into trouble. She kept trying to open the window, even after you explained to her that everyone on the plane would die horrible death if the window were to open.

“Stop that.” You whispered when you noticed a black tendril creeping towards the window. The lady in the seat next to you shot me a look of confusion. You gave her a fake smile and turned back to the window, doing your best to conceal the small black tendril that was coming out of your body and fidgeting with the airplane window.

“We want it open.” Venom replied telepathically.

“Do you also want us to blow out of the plane and into space?” You said through my teeth.

“We didn’t anticipate that but it’d be appreciated.” Venom answered, making you groan. The rest of the plane ride followed in similar fashion.

Seven hours later, you arrived at the apartment building. You had never been to your dads apartment, you didn’t even know he had one. You wondered what happened to your childhood home as you looked around the place. The apartment wasn’t too small but not too big either. The rent was practically nothing compared to how expensive San Francisco was, and The Daily Bugle offered to cover your expenses until the story was done. You figured after some redecorating and moving in, it would make a fine new home.

The first seven days in the apartment went by smoothly. You unpacked, with little to no help from Venom, and set up the furniture. On the eight day, you sat on the couch, aimlessly flipping through channels in the TV when you had a thought.

“Oh shit.” You said out loud.

“What?” Venom, who was curly nestled around your neck like a neck pillow, asked.

“I forgot mail exists.” You frowned. “We better go check the mailbox before it overflows.”

You and Venom grudgingly walked to the mailboxes and back again. No one was around, so she manifested herself and rested on your shoulder as I looked through the mail.

“Oops. I grabbed someone else’s mail too.” You clicked your tongue when you read a strangers name off the envelope. “I gotta find them.”

“Let’s go.” Venom said and pulled you towards the front door.

“Sorry, babe. This is a me thing, not a we thing. You know I love you but I don’t want to scare our neighbors. Not yet anyway.” You reasoned. Venom grumbled and went back inside your body.

You checked the address of the envelope and discovered that it belonged to the apartment directly across from you.

You knocked on the door and patiently waited for someone to open it as you mindlessly cracked your knuckles. Just as you were about to walk away, the door opened.

“Hi, are you May Parker?” You asked right away. You looked up from the envelope and your face instantly flushed. The person staring back at you definitely wasn’t May Parker. It was a boy around your age, maybe a little younger. He had soft brown eyes and wavy brown hair. It was gelled back loosely and you could see the outline of soft curls. To your surprise, he was just as flushed as you were. You stared at each other for a moment, no one wanting to be the first to blink.

“Yea. I’m May Parker.” The boy said finally. He shut his eyes in embarrassment and shook his head.

“I mean, no I’m not. But that’s my Aunt. May is my Aunt but I’m not May. That’s my Aunt May. I’m her nephew…obviously. Aunt May is my Aunt May. I…what?” He stumbled over his words and somehow turned even redder. His blush reached all the way down his neck, to his blue jumper that read “Midtown Tech” in yellow letters. You recognized the name of one of the most prestigious high schools in New York, already impressed with your new neighbor.

“Well hello, not May Parker. I’m also not May Parker. But I seemed to forget that when I grabbed your mail this morning. Sorry about that.” You said sheepishly as you handed his mail to him. The boy rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at it and attempted to redeem himself.

“It’s not problem. She and I always forget to check the mail so you actually helped us, um, whoever you are.” He smiled weakly. His voice was cute. He had that Queens accent that the people of San Francisco lacked, for obvious reasons.

“Oh, right.” You laughed in embarrassment. “I’m Y/N L/N. I just moved here from San Francisco. I live across the hall.”

You pointed to the door behind you as if he didn’t know what “across the hall” meant. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. You were never this awkward.

His eyes lit up a bit once you told him where you lived.

“Really? I thought that smelly guy lived there.” The boy said and you stifled a laugh.

“That smelly guy was my father. He died a little while ago so I live there now.” You told him, malign the boys eyes widen. They were so brown. Like little pools of honey. Or little pools of the Hudson River. You had seen a million pairs of brown eyes before, but none like his. They were quite distracting to be honest.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! I had. I had no idea-“ he began to frantically apologize but you cut him off.

“Don’t worry about it. We never got along. And you’re right, that man stank.” You chuckled. It was the first thing you said that felt like your old self. You hadn’t really talked to anyone since moving to New York, with the exception of Venom and the occasional phone call from Andy or Dani. You liked talking to this boy, though you still had no idea who he was.

“Oh thank God. I thought I screwed this up before it even went anywhere.” He immediately turned red when he heard his own words. You saw the regret in his eyes and decided to throw him a bone.

“Well it certainly can’t go anywhere until you tell me your name.” You flirted. Again, he relaxed. You felt a surge of confidence knowing he wanted this to go well.

“Parker. I’m Parker Peter. I mean, Peter Parker.” He fumbled over his words again, making you smile fondly.

“We like him. He’s cute.” Venom said telepathically. You looked down at my shoes and blushed, knowing you liked him too.

“And he looks delicious.” She added, ruining the moment.

“It’s nice to meet you Peter Parker.” You gave him your best smile. “I’m glad there’s someone my age around here. Everyone I’ve met so far is either an old bitty or a creepy uncle type.” You regretted it as soon as it left your mouth. You didn’t know what his sense of humor was like and he might not find you the slightest but funny. Andy always told you you were bad at telling jokes, and you feared he might be right.

Lucky for you, Peter burst out laughing.

“Ah. I’ve seen you’ve met Henry.” Peter pointed a finger down the hall. “Yeah, I’d stay away from him. He asked me if he could have pictures of my feet once. He said he’d “pay me handsomely” for it too.”

“Damn. So he beat me to asking you.” You pretended to be upset, which made Peter laugh again. The sound of his laugh made your heart pick up speed. You weren’t used to feeling like this. Boys rarely impressed you, Andy was just lucky you liked a man in uniform.

“Yeah. You better stay away from him.” Peter advised.

“It might be hard.” You clicked your tongue. “Our mailboxes are pretty close. I’ll make a mental note to never check my mail while wearing flip flops, though.”

Peter smiled at your joke. He had the kind of smile that you would make the person laugh just to see it again. It was brilliant.

“Well my mailbox should be directly above yours. So don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” He grinned, and you grinned back.

“My hero.” You gushed as you put your hands over your heart. The tips of his ears went pink, like he was shocked that you said that.

“I’m no hero.” He sounded almost panicked, like you touched a nerve or something.

“We’re hungry. We need to eat.” Venom interrupted abruptly, causing you to jump. Since Peter couldn’t hear her, he looked at you strangely, not knowing the cause of your sudden jolt.

“Sorry, I uh, I thought I saw a spider.” You lied.

“If there was a spider, we’d eat it. We need food. Now.” Venom demanded.

Peter looked up at his doorframe for the imaginary spider.

“Yeah, New York is full of them.” Peter said skeptically. “Not that full, though. And some spiders are nice. One might even call them friendly.”

“Right.” You laughed at his strange wording, unaware that you were both keeping a secret.

“Would…” Peter began but trailed off, seemingly mulling something over in his head. “Would you like to eat dinner with my Aunt and I? I remember when we first moved in, it took us a while to get into the swing of things and make dinner every night. If you like, you could join us. And, you know, we could get to know each other.” He offered. It all came out in one breath. You could tell he was nervous and that only drew you in more.

“I’d love to Peter.” You said, and he smiled in relief.

“Great.” He gave an awkward thumbs up. “We usually eat around six so maybe come around then? She’ll be so happy to meet you. She loves cooking and she always tries to get me to learn but I once burnt cereal and I still don’t know how.” Peter began to ramble. He cut himself off and shook his head again. “Sorry. I’m rambling.”

Then, you did something stupid. You put your hand on his arm like the dumb bitch you were. You barely knew this guy. Who the hell were you to touch him? He must’ve been thinking the same thing, since he instantly froze under your touch and stared at your hand on his arm.

“Don’t apologize. I can’t cook either. Unless you count making tater tots as cooking. Then I’m Gordon Ramsey.” You assured him, feeling him relax under your touch.

“You’re just gonna mention tater tots without warning us first? Our mouth is watering. Can we eat Peter?” Venom asked, making your eyes widen.

If it was socially acceptable to scream at your symbiote in public, you would’ve yelled “NO, WE CANNOT EAT PETER” from the top of your lungs. But since you didn’t want to scare Peter and the rest of the neighbors away, you merely smiled and made another mental note to smack the shit out of Venom later.

“I love that man. “Where is the lamb sauce?” Peter mimicked in a bad British accent. He had no right being as charming as he was.

“No no no.” You shook your head. “His best line is “I’ll get you more pumpkin and I’ll ram it right up your ass. Would you like it whole or diced?”. He’s said some pretty wild things but that one makes me cry.”

Peters laugh rang through the halls. To be the cause of that laugh was a feeling like no other. You stood there for a while, just looking at each other. His eyes grazed down your body, but not in a crude way. You berated yourself for not dressing better when going to meet the neighbors, clad in nothing but a grey hoodie and some leggings. Peter looked cute, but you had a feeling he always did. His jumper was pretty baggy and you could see a collared shirt poking out the top. He was dressed almost professionally and you found it incredibly endearing.

You wanted to know more about him. You wanted to know his secrets and his hobbies and what makes him itch. You wanted to see if he dresses this way on weekends too or what his summer clothes looked like. Your gawking was interrupted by Peters phone ringing. He broke out of his trance and answered it quickly.

“Hi, Mr. S. No I’m not busy. I mean, I’m super busy but I can totally make time for you. Yea, Happy talked to me. Okay. Okay. Where? Okay. See you in a bit.” Peter hung up and looked at you apologetically.

“That was my job. I have to run but I’ll be back in time for our dinner. I live at…you know where I live. I’ll see you then. Don’t be late.” Peter called as he ran down the hallway, towards the elevator.

“I won’t. See you later.” You called back.

You went back to your apartment and like a kid, broke out into a happy dance.

“Venom!! Did you see how cute he was?” You gushed. “And how funny he is? I have to get ready for tonight.”

Venom manifested and swirled around my arm.

“Someone has a crush.” Venom smirked. Well, as much of a smirk as she could muster with that huge mouth of hers.

“I don’t have a crush. I just think he’s cute okay?” You replied coyly. “Cute. And funny and sweet and charming and amazing. But that’s it.”

“We can feel your heart beat.” Venom reminded you. “It was going ten miles an hour. What would Andy say?”

You had been rummaging through your closet and stopped in your tracks. With Peters new inhabitance in your mind, you had forgotten all about Andy. You moved to New York to avoid his wedding and his moving on, and you might’ve succeeded.

“I don’t care what he’d say.” You decided. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“But we want him to be.” Venom insisted. “We want him back, remember?”

“I don’t know what I want.” You answered honestly. “I just want to get ready for tonight.”

“Why are you getting ready now? You have 5 hours until you have to be there and it’s right across the hall.” Venom teased.

“Only 5 hours?” You sighed. “We better get moving.”

[imagines4thefandoms]

Bucky Jr.

so i was planning on writing a small one shot based off of “Ive been watching you” by Rodney Atkins but it grew into a 5K+ imagine.

Takes place during/after endgame so don’t read if you haven’t seen it but it you haven’t are you living under a rock? all of the details based on the movie were written based off memory so if the dialog is a bit off its because i haven’t seen the movie in a while. 

word count: 5k+ like i said i got carried away. 

Bucky Barnes x reader, Steve x platonic! reader

y/n found out she was pregnant three months after they lost to thanos i think you can imagine how this story goes based off the ending of the movie and the song i based this story off of. 

You honestly never thought that you could get Bucky  after you found out that Thanos destroyed the stones. You did everything you could to try and get him back: going to the sanctum to see if there was a spell, pray, hell you even thought you would try to sell your soul. You even looked into the multiverse theory but nothing worked. Three months after half the universe turned to dust you found out that you were pregnant. The thought of having the baby without Bucky there, hurt.  

Steve knew something was wrong when he hadn’t heard from you for a couple of days. He drove over to the house that you and Bucky had gotten.  The only people who knew about the house was you, Bucky and Steve. And because Steve was Steve, he had gotten a spare key, so when he pulled up to the house he just walked right in.  

Steve called out for you but you were too deep into your depression to hear him. You didn’t know that her was here til there was a knock on the bedroom door. You got out of bed so fast cause you thought that Bucky was back.

“Buck,” you asked opening the door.

Your smile fell when you saw that it was just Steve. You had forgotten that Steve knew about the house. Steve game you a soft smile because he knew how hard you were taking the loss. You left the door open and climbed back in into the bed. Steve walked over and sat by your feet.

“He’s not coming back is he,” you asked softly.

“I don’t think so,” he replied.

“I can’t do this without him Steve.”

“Do what?”

You reached into your night stand, grabbed the positive pregnancy test and handed it to Steve. He looked at the text then back at you.

“Did he know,” he asked placing the text on the nightstand.

“No. I didn’t know til last week. Steve I can’t do this alone.”

“(Y/n) you will not be doing it alone. I will be here for you,” he told you pulling the covers off. “Now come on. Time for you to get up.”

“No,” you said taking your pillow and covering your face with it.

“As godfather and favorite uncle it is my duty to get you to get out of bed.”

“Bold of you to assume you're the godfather,” you teased.

~five years later~

Ever since then Steve has been there for you every step go the way. He went to the doctor’s appointments, he helped you decorate the nursery, he even helped you pick the perfect name when you found out it was a boy: James Buchanan Barnes Jr.

Steve moved into the house, Bucky made sure that there was a spare room for Steve, to help you with the long nights after James was born. Every time he woke up to chance a dirty diaper, you would complain and tell him that you got it but he would reply with his same cheesy joke, “I’ve slept for 70 years.”

Steve was there for each step of James’ life. His first word: Steve, well it was te. His first steps, his first day of school. Steve even taught him how to ride a bike. He was like a dad to James, but he never took the role of dad. Every night before bed Steve would tell James stories of Bucky and growing up the two of you made sure that James knew about his father.

“Is daddy ever going to come back,” James asked Steve.

“I don’t think so,” Steve told James sadly.

“Mommy doesn’t talk about what happened to daddy. Can you tell me uncle te,” your son asked.

“Well you know how your parents and I are avengers?”

“Yea.”

“Well there was a bad guy that wanted to wipe out half the universe, so us and the rest of the avengers went to stop him. But we didn’t win so he wiped out half the universe and your daddy was one of those people who got wiped away.” Steve explained.

“Oh you mean the blip.”

“Yea.”

“I wish I met him,” James said pulling his covers up to his chin.

“Me too bud,” Steve tucking him in.

“Uncle te.”

“Yes buck,” Steve responded using the nick he called Buck. He only calls James that when you’re not around as to night hurt your feelings.

“Do you think daddy would like me?”

“I know your daddy would love you,” Steve assured him as he kissed if forehead.

James grabbed the photo of Bucky that you put of his nightstand and held it against his chest. Steve turned off the lights then left his room. Steve stopped when he saw you standing outside James’ room.

“He wanted to know,” he started to say ready to explain why he told James what he told him.

“He’s old enough to know. Im just glad you told him and not me. I would have broken down.”

Steve pulled you in to a hug. You pushed away from him and gave him a small smile letting him know that you appreciated the hug. Steve left to go to bed while you went to the living room and sat on the couch. You grabbed the photo book off the coffee table full of pictures of you and Bucky and just looked at them til you fell asleep.

The next morning you woke up from James pulling your eyelids open. Steve tried to stop him before he woke you up but he was a little too late.

“Sorry I tried to stop him,” Steve said handing you his coffee.

“But mommy had to wake up cause we are going to see Aunt Nat,” James said sitting down at the table eating his breakfast.

After finishing half the cup you got up and went to kiss James’ head. “Your right how silly of me to sleep.”

You finished the coffee and handed the empty up of Steve on your way to your room to get dressed. Going to your closet, you grabbed one of Bucky’s shirts and a pair of jeans. As soon as you finished getting ready for the day there was a little knock at the door.

“Mommy hurry up. I want to see Aunt Nat,”

You opened the door and ruffled his hair as you walked past him. “It that because she shows you all of the old weapons at the compound,” you asked as you grabbed the toast that Steve had made for you.

James stoped in his tracks and looked at you and Steve. “How did you know. It’s supposed to be a secret,” he asked.

“Thats because your mom knows everything,” Steve replied.

“Nu uh, Mommy what’s 12 x 12,” James asked crossing his hands over his chest and tilting his head a little.

“144,” you answered him.

James went over to Steve and held is hand out for Steve’s phone. He pulled it from his pocket and opened the calculator app. He checked your answer and looked up at you with shock and awe.

“Wow mommy does know everything,” he replied handing Steve back is phone.

After ten minutes and James running back to his room to grab his teddy bear Sarge, which he dressed to look like Bucky, the three of you left for the compound. While in the car, James wouldn’t sit still cause he was too excited to see Natasha.

“James, pleas stop kicking my seat,” You asked him.

“Im just too excited,” he replied using his hands to emphasize his statement. “Can we listen to the song?”

“What song it that buddy,” Steve asked looking to James in the rearview mirror.

“Mommy knows the song.”

Steve looked over at you from the driver seat and you smirked at him while grabbing your phone and finding the video. James quickly calmed down once he knew you were going to put the song on.

“Uncle te, you can sing it too,” He said hold Sarge tight in anticipation.

“I might not know the song,” Steve replied.

“Oh you know it,” you smirked.

The song started to play and James pretended to march in place while in his car seat.

Who’s strong and brave to save the American way

“Not all of use can storm a beach or drive a tank. But there is still a way for all of us can fight” James spoke.

Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day

“Series E defense bonds, each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy’s gun”

Who will complain door to door for America

Carry the flag shore to shore for America

From Hoboken to Spokane

The Star Spangled Man with a Plan

“How do you know that,” Steve asked James and you.

“Mommy found it. It’s my favorite,” James replied.

Steve looked over at you and just shook his head. You noticed how red his face was and you just turned it up a little. The entire ride James spoke Steve’s part. After the second go around James convinced Steve to do it with him.

You couldn’t tell who was more happy to see the compound James, to see Nat, or Steve, so you could stop playing his song. As soon as the car came to a stop James unbuckled and got out of the car. Natasha walked out of the compound and held her arms open for James.

“Aunt Nat,” James yelled running into her arms.

“Hey JJ.”

After they went inside you didn’t really see either til lunch time. And since you didn’t hear an explosion you didn’t worry. James was eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while nat was talking with Carol, Okoye, Rocket, and Rhodey.

After everyone hung up nat teared up a little because of Clint and James noticed. He grabbed Sarge who was in the chair next to him and handed him to her. “Here Aunt Nat, Sarge makes me feel better when I am sad.” James then went back to eating his sandwich while Steve and Nat talked a little. Then you noticed that someone was at the gate.

“Is that Scott,” you asked.

“How old is that,” Steve asked.

“Its live.”

“James stay here,” you told him as the three of you ran to see if Scott was really back.

The four of you came back to the room and James just looked at confusion. Scott explained how he was here and his plan to get everyone back. You, Nat and Steve looked at each other while Scott sat next to James and ate Natasha’s peanut butter sandwich.

“Hi,” James said pushing a glass of milk to Scott.

“Hey,” Scott replied with a questioning look.

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes Jr.,” James introduced himself. “Wait are you Antman?”

“Yes I am.’

“You are so cool.”

“Thanks kid,” Scott thanked him and finished the sandwich. “I knew your dad.”

“Really, were you friends or did he try to beat you up when Hydra was hurting him?”

“Friends, well I helped him when he was in trouble,” Scott explained.

James nodded his head and thanked Scott for helping his dad, then continued to eat his sandwich. Scott finished his milk then walked over to you and motioned back to James.

“Cute kid.”

~time skip~

After the meeting with BruceHulk, you and Steve knew of the only person who might be able to help. James sat in the middle between you and Scott one the ride up to Tony’s cabin. The entire ride James and Scott were talking about Antman things. Once we got to the cabin James’ fascination with Scott disappeared. All he want to do was play with Morgan. He ran past Tony and gave Morgan a hug.

“Hi Morgan,” James said after their hug.

“James you came to play,” Morgan asked James nodded his head and they ran off to play.

“Hello to you too,” Tony called out to your son.

“Sorry. Hi uncle Tony,” James called out.

Steve, Nat, Scott and you talked to Tony and explained what the plan was. Tony didn’t agree with the plan and kept saying that it wouldn’t work. Morgan and James ran inside. Then Morgan ran back out to “save” Tony. He invited you to stay for lunch which you accepted and went in to see James helping pepper set up the table.

“Aunt pep, I need one more fork,” James said looking at the table counting the plates.

“Here,” she said holding one out for him.

He put the fork in its place and then ran to whisper something in Morgan’s ear. She agreed to whatever he said. They went into the kitchen and grabbed a towel and held it over their arms. James opened his mouth then closed it and went over to pepper. He tapped her leg and motioned for her to bend over so he could whisper in her ear. She whispered something back then came back to stand next to Morgan.

“Lunch will be ready in three minutes,” James said.

“Please wait to be seated,” Morgan stated.

They both came over to Steve and asked for his name. After he gave it name they check the “list” on Morgan’s hand and both nodded their heads.

“Right his way, Mr. Rodgers,” James said leading Steve to his seat.

They did this for everyone and then helped hand out the food to everyone. After lunch the kids played a little while longer but then it was time to leave. You had to figure out time travel without the help of Tony.

“Bye Morgan,” James said sadly.

“Bye James,” Morgan replied equally sad.

The entire time you guys where trying to perfect time travel James was standing next to Bruce wearing a lab coat that was too big and hold a clip board holding some of his drawings. You didn’t tell him why you guys were building a time machine because you didn’t want to get his hopes up.

After all the mishaps with Scott you walked over to James and asked for his scientific opinion on what you were doing wrong. He replied with ‘maybe the clock is broken’. Steve went outside for fresh air while you tried to help Bruce solve this. You were surprised when you saw Steve come back inside with not only his shield but also Tony.

“Let me guess, you were messing around and cracked time travel,” you asked throwing your hands in the air.

“Yes,” Tony said walking over to bruce.

“Wow, is that the shield,” James asked running over to Steve and ran his fingers on the vibranium disk. “Its beautiful.”

“Hold it,” Steve said handing it too James.

His eye lit up and he ran around pretending to be Captain America. After Tony explained how he cracked time travel the team split up to get more people to help with the mission. Tony got Rhodes, Nat got Clint, once rocket and Nebula got back to earth bruce and rocket went to get Thor. You called Pepper and asked her to watch James while you completed the mission and she agreed to so you and Steve brought him back to Tony’s cabin.

Once you pulled up you and Steve looked at each other and decided that now was the time to explain everything to him. Before he opened the door you told him that you needed to talk.

“Do you know why your staying with Morgan and aunt Pep for a couple hours,” you asked him.

“Cause you have a mission,” he asked.

“Yes but do you know what the mission is,” Steve asked him.

“No its top secret. Constitutional.”

“confidential,” you corrected him. “The mission is to bring back daddy and everyone who got blipped away,”

“Your going to save daddy,” James asked.

“Yes.”

“I want to help,” he exclaimed.

“I know you do bud but it's too dangerous. And we need you to be safe. Your dad would want you to be safe,” Steve stated to talk him down.

“Fine but you will call me right after.”

“Yes.”

“Ok, be safe and save daddy,” James said kissing you and Steve on the cheek before he got out of the car and ran too Morgan.  

Pepper waved to you to let you know everything would be okay then you and Steve drove back to the compound. Once you two got back, everyone was in a room talking about the stones and when the best time to get them was. It was decided that New York 2012 would be the best time to get the mind, space and time stone, 2013 Asgard would be the best time to get the reality stone, and 2014 Space would be the best time to get the soul and power stone. The teams were Steve, bruce, Tony and Scott would go to 2012, Thor and rocket would get the reality stone, nebula and Rhodes would get the power, while you Clint and Natasha would get the soul stone.

Everyone suited up and we all wished everyone good luck on their missions to receive the stones. You were standing next to Steve and the next thing you knew you where on an alien planet in the year 2014. Rhodes enlarged the Guardians’ ship and flew team soul stone to vormir. There was a long hike to where the stone was supposed to be. The three of you climbed to the top of the twin mountains and where greeted by the Red Skull. It threw you for a loop but decided to focus on getting Bucky back then the head of hydra at least for now. He explained how we were to get the stone and it was along the lines of soul for a soul. So the three of you sat there in defeat.

“There has to be another way,” you said looking between the two former assassins who where having a whole conversation without talking.

“We have to get that stone. What ever it takes,” Nat said and Clint repeated ‘whatever it takes’

They both stood up and then looked confused at each other. Then you realized what their plan was. Nat was going to sacrifice herself for the stone and Clint was going to do the same.

“No way. That is not happening,” you told them.

“Its the only way,” Nat said walking over to you. “Tell JJ I love them. And get everyone back.”

Nat gave you a hug and an electric shock surged through your whole body. The amount of electricity that you got hit with knocked you out and you didn’t wake up it after you go the stone. You woke up next to Clint in some lake.

“No,” you cried when you saw the stone in his hand and Nat no where to be found.

The two of you took a second to gather your emotions then pressed your belt and went back to 2023. You came back to the platform where left on and just dropped to your knees. Steve came over and checked you for any wounds.

“She’s gone,” you cried as you wrapped your arms around him.

Everyone gave Tony the stones so he could build the gauntlet while you went out to the lake. One by one everyone showed up too. There was a small argument over whether or not we gaunt get Nat back with the stones but you and Clint knew you couldn’t. Steve walked over to you and sat down.

“How am I going to tell James that she’s gone,” you asked him.

“You won’t have to do it alone cause we are going to get Buck back and then all three of us will go tell him,” Steve said rubbing your back.

Everyone went back inside to prepare to bring everyone back. Thor really wanted to be the one to snap everyone back but it was decided that Bruce would do it. In his works, “its mostly gamma radiation. I was made to do this.” He put the gauntlet on and snapped his fingers. The power of the stones sort of burned his arms and you ripped the gauntlet off of him while Tony tried to help with the burns.

You couldn’t really tell that it worked but you heard birds. Lots of them. Then a phone started to ring and by the look on Clint’s face you were guessing it was his wife calling and so it worked. You looked at Steve and were about to tell him it worked when the whole compound blew up. The force knocked you out a bit and you woke up later next to Clint. You saw the gauntlet laying a couple feet away so you grabbed it cause there was no was a friend blew you up.

And you were right it turned out to be Thanos from 2014 because the nebula that came back want your nice nebula. You were trying to get out from all the rubble when you heard Steves painful groans. Of course Steve was facing the titan by himself. Once you could breath fresh air you looked out at the wasteland that was once the compound. You saw Steve get up and take a stand against Thanos alone. You were about to run to his side when you heard a faint voice on the comms.

“On your left,” you heard Sam say.

You never thought hearing Sam Wilson’s voice you make you cry but it did. Because if he was back so was Bucky. All around golden circles of sparks emerged and dozens of people stepped out. You made your way to take a stand against Thanos and out the corner of your eye you saw him. You fought the urge to run to him and never let him go. That could wait.

Thanos’s creepy alien army charged at us and we charged at them. You killed a bunch of the dog thingy and eventually found yourself next to Bucky. During a small window of peace you turned to him and jumped in his arms.

“Hey doll,” he said holding you tight.

“God I missed you Buck,” you cried.

“Sorry I was gone so long,” he replied pushing you back and pressing his lips firmly against yours. “You look gorgeous by the way.”

“There is something I really need to tell you Bucky.”

He pulled you close to him and then shot at some aliens behind you. “We are kinda in the middle of a war here doll. Tell me after we win.” He ran off to kill more aliens and you did the same. You were taking a hit but over the comms you heard a plan. To get the stones back before Thanos could use them again. So during the fight there was a game of Hot potato that was being played with the gauntlet. It work for a while but eventually Thanos got the stone. It happened so quickly. He was about to snap his fingers when Tony jumped on him. Thanos threw in aside then snapped his fingers. You closed your eyes to prepare for another loss but nothing happened. Then you looked over at Tony and saw that he had the stones. He snapped his finger and Thanos and the other aliens turned to dust.

You ran over to bucky and jumped in his arms again to celebrate the win but stopped when you noticed that Tony wasn’t getting up. Pepper and Peter when over to him. It didn’t look good. You noticed pepper crying and you knew that he didn’t make it. Everyone took a knee to honor him. The Steve, Thor, and Dr. Strange walked over and helped cover his body and retrieve the stones.  You cried into Bucky’s then thought of James. Once Tony’s body was covered and the stones were safely put in a briefcase. You let go on Bucky and ran to Steve.

“James,” you cried.

Pepper walked over to you and you gave her a hug. She told you how Happy was with the kids. You felt bad for only thinking of James while your friend just died. Pepper looked at you and shook her head like she knew what you were thinking.

“Lets go,” Pepper said and you walked over to strange and asked him to do his portal to the cabin.

Bucky was right behind you completely confused on what you were doing. You looked at him and just smiled as you grabbed Steves hand then his and walked the the portal after Pepper. She ran inside but the three of you stayed outside.

“Bucky that thing I wanted to tell you,” you told him.

“I get it doll. Five years is a long time and you didn’t think I would come back,” he said looking at how you were still holding Steve’s hand.

You followed to where he was looking and stepped away from Steve. “No its not that,” you started to explain but were interpreted by James running out of the Cabin.

“Mommy,” he cried running to you. “Uncle Tony.”

“I know,” you dropped to your knees and hugged him.

You didn’t let go til he look over at Steve and he ran out of your arms into his. “Your okay,” James cried.

“Yes buddy. Just a little come cuts but I will be okay,” Steve replied.

You got up and looked over at Bucky was you could tell what he was thinking by the look in his eye. You went to go tell him he was wrong but heard James from behind you.

“You did it. Thats him right,” you son said wiping his tears away.

“Yea. Thats him,” Steve informed him.

James walked over to Bucky and just looked up at him. Bucky knelt down to meet the boy who he thought was yours and Steve’s kid.

“Hey,” Bucky said.

“Hi,” James replied looking at Buck’s face. “You’re taller than I imagined.”

“Yea,” Buck laughed. “Whats your name?”

“James Buchanan Barnes Jr. and this is Sarge,” James said showing Bucky his teddy.

Bucky looked at James then at you. “I thought…”

“You well you were never the sharpest tool,” you cut him off.

“Im glad I get to meet you dad,” James said wrapping his arms around Bucky.

“Me too.”

~time skip~

It has been a couple weeks since Tony and Nat’s funeral and James was taking Nat’s death better than you expected. You were pretty sure he was to busy getting to know Bucky to let her death get to him and you weren’t complaining.

“What happened to your arm. Mommy and uncle Te never told me that story,” James said poking Bucky’s metal arm.

“I lost it when I fell off a train,” Bucky explained.

“That was back in World War 2. How are you still alive? Did you crash a plane into water like uncle te?”

“No but I was frozen like him for a while.”

“When you were getting hurt by hydra.”

“Yes but now I'm all better.”

“Cool will you feel it if I punch your metal arm?”

“No.”

“Awesome. I want a metal arm.”

“Maybe for Christmas,” you replied laughing.

Steve came into the living room from the kitchen with drinks. James yelled something about doing something important and ran out of the room. The three of you sat in the living room and caught up. You told Bucky everything about James and Steve told y’all about his trip to return the stones. James came back into the living room ten minutes later with a huge smile on his face.

“What did you do,” you asked him.

“Nothing,” he replied.

Steve and Bucky looked at each other and just laughed. They mentioned how much James was like Bucky when he was a kid.

“Mommy can i’m hungry,” James told you as he sat next to Bucky.

You got up to go make his something to eat when you noticed black paint on the floor. You looked over at James and saw that his left hand was black with gold lines.

“James what did you do? And please tell me it comes off,” you asked.

James got up and took off his jacket to reveal that he painted his left arm black and gold to match Bucky’s

“Now I really match daddy, see. Same name and same arm,” he replied showing off the slightly wet arm.

You opened you mouth to yell about how there is paint on your floors and probably on the stairs too and how he ruined his clothes and possible the couch with the paint but just closed your mouth and shook your head.

“Now that you are back this is your problem,” you said walking into the kitchen to feet Bucky Jr.

“Did I do something wrong,” James asked looked between Bucky and Steve.

“No buddy, you just made a mess with the paint,” Bucky said pointing to the black paint on the floor.

“Oops,” He replied.

After eating and cleaning the paint, life started to normal. Steve staying til he found an apartment close by which James couldn’t understand why he was leaving. After Steve told him that he could come over and have guy night he decided that Steve could move out. And with Bucky back James basically pushed you aside and preferred his dad. Everything Bucky did James did. Everything Bucky ate James ate, even vegetables.

“James, I have been trying to get you to eat your vegetables for ever and now that your dad is here you love vegetables,” you asked when you saw him finish his carrots.

“No vegetables are gross but I want to be just like daddy and daddy eats vegetables,” he replied making a face over how gross he thought carrots where.

After he got in trouble for painting his arm James decided to do the next best thing and waste all the foil in the house to wrap is arm. You even caught his pretending to be Bucky while he was playing in the back yard.

“What,” Bucky said wrapping his arms around you are you watched James play.

“Red Skull I am the winter soldier and I am here to put an end to you and the rest of hydra,” James said pointing his toy gun and sarge who was wearing a red hat.

“He idolizes you,” you said resting your head against Buck’s shoulder.

“Jealous,” he asked kissing your neck.

“No just annoyed that he is a mini you.”

“Daddy come play,” James called.

Bucky walked outside and pulled you with him. James explain how Bucky would be on his team.

“We are stopping Sarge, he’s the red skull. And im you so you can be… Uncle Te.”

“What about me,” Steve asked waking into the back yard.

“You can be a bad guy with mommy cause she needs a partner,” James said placing Sarge’s red hat on you.

“Why am I the red skull,” you asked slightly offended.

“Cause you get mad a lot and look like him,” James stated like it was a known fact.

Bucky and Steve started laughing while you took the hat off and changed James around to get back at him.

“Daddy, mommy is crazy help me,” James yelled at the top of his lungs which caused Bucky and Steve to laugh more.

Bucky was too busy laughing so James stopped running and took of his jacket to reveal his foil arm and held it out.

“I am Sargent James Buchanan Barnes of the 107th infantry of the US army and I order you to stop chasing me,” he said and crossed his arms.

You stopped and just took in your son’s appearance. “Mommy you look really pretty,” James said with the same smirk Bucky gives you when he is trying to apologize or get himself out of trouble. Yea James was defiantly Bucky Jr.

[whatisthiswritingthing]

Fake It Till You Make It - Rose Lavelle x Reader

Prompt: Hey. What about Reader & Rose, where R is basically Rose's best friend outside her soccer bubble. Sam and the other youngins were getting on Rose's nerves talking about her love life so that Rose in affect says that she's in a relationship so that they stop. Anyway, Rose is still single and Sam and the others want to meet her GF, so that she convinces R to pretend to be her GF. (Spoiler: Ending could be that they realise that they don't just pretend to be in love)

 “Stupid, so stupid,” Rose muttered to herself, “please don’t answer, please don’t answer,” she kept mumbling to herself waiting for her call to connect to Y/N.

“Well hello to you too,” Y/N smirked when she connected the facetime call.

“Fuck,” Rose’s eyes went wide when she saw her best friend on the screen, blushing a little bit.

“Oh Rose, you say the sweetest things to me,” Y/N continued to smile at her friend.

“Y/N!” Rose exclaimed, almost surprised to see her.

“Rose!” Y/N mocked, the two sat and watched each other, Y/N grinning and Rose’s expression shifting to guilt, “you going to tell me why you called?”

“Oh, uhh, yea, I missed you?” the soccer player attempted

“Of course, you did, I’m awesome!” Y/N continued to smile at her friend, “but you and I both know that’s not the only reason you called me,” her tone softened.

“I kind of did something stupid,” she started hesitantly, eyes off the screen.

“This is my serious face,” Y/N stared back with a blank expression, “what did you do Rose?”

“Uhh everyone was bugging me about not being in a relationship for so long and I was tired of it, then Linds said something about maybe I’m just not telling them. And I wasn’t paying attention just kind of agreed, so now they think I’m seeing someone.”

“Alright? I don’t see the problem,” she looked at her friend.

“Well, the problem is, I was texting you and they asked for a name, so I said yours,” Rose bit her lip, tugging her sleeves over her hands and covered her face.

“Aww Rosey, you want to date me?” Y/N started teasing her again.

“Stop! It just slipped out.”

“I’m not easy Rose, I expect to be wined and dined, flowers, the whole thing,” she smirked, “and I definitely don’t kiss on the first date, maybe the second if you play your cards right,” she ended with a wink.

“Y/N, stop,” Rose begged, her cheeks completely pink.

“Alright, I’ll stop,” she softened again when she saw how flustered the brunette had gotten, “it’s all good if you drop my name when you need.”

“Yea…” she trailed off, “they kind of took your name and already creeped your insta.”

“No worries,” Y/N shrugged.

“But yes, worries Y/N,” Rose said exasperated, pulling her shirt collar over her mouth, “they think we are dating. They know who you are and want to know why they haven’t met you yet.”

“Rose, it’s all good, pretend for a bit, then you break my heart or whatever you need to get them off your back.

Rose nodded but wouldn’t look up.

“That’s not all is it Rosey?”

Rose shook her head, “they want to meet you. They couldn’t stop gushing about how hot you are and how cute we look together, so yea, they’re kind of expecting you to come to the game or supper or something this week.”

“Ahh now I see the worries,” Y/N nodded, smiling softly, “I kind of thought I was going to your game already, you gave me a ticket to sit with your family.”

“But now everyone wants to meet you, so you can’t just leave after and they will hunt you down if you do escape. Mal was ready to message you herself to make sure you were coming to the game.”

“Rose it’s all good, I’ll meet the team after the game. And I’ll be the best damn girlfriend you could want.”

“You don’t have to Y/N, I can tell them I fucked up and just said it to shut them up.”

“Really, Rose, it’s all good. I’m sure you do enough other stuff to get teased,” Y/N shrugged casually, giving her best friend a dopey smile.

“You’ll really come meet them?” Rose lowered her hands from her face slightly.

“Of course! How else will get some of the embarrassing stories they have?”

Rose had never dreaded the three long whistles more than she did that game. She knew Y/N was in the stands with her parents, which was fine, her parents loved Y/N and had know her for years, but now Y/N would be meeting the rest of her team. She could dodge it, say she had some crazy fan encounter or Y/N couldn’t make it, but she knew that would only delay it.

This is clearly payback for teasing all her friends for years, logically she knows its fair, that it her turn to be teased, but that doesn’t make it any better.

“Where is she Rosey?” Sonnett shook the brunette’s shoulders as they all cleared the field.

“She’s with my parents,” Rose grumbled, leading the blonde over towards the family section.

“Ahh come Rose, be more excited to see your girlfriend!” Lindsey joined the teasing, pulling her into a quick head lock.

“Trust me, I’m excited to see her, its you with her I’m not excited for,” she continued to scan the stands to find her family and current fake girlfriend, “at least try and behave while we are in public, I don’t need the whole world knowing about us.”

“Hi Mr. and Mrs. Lavelle!” Sonnett pulled away when they got to the stands, her southern charm coming out, no hint of her teasing left, “you must be Y/N! Rose has told us so much about you,” she shot the midfielder a sly wink, reaching a hand up to shake Y/N’s hand.

“And look! You’ve met Y/N, time to go see your own families,” Rose gently nudged the blonde away.

“I’m Sam,” the tall blonde reached over Rose to shake Y/N’s hand as well

“Where did you even come from?” she turned around quickly, seeing a few other players approach them.

“Be nice Rose,” her mom began to chastise.

“Yea Rose, be nice,” Y/N winked at her, reaching down more to shake another hand, introducing herself.

Rose could feel her body blushing already, this was a terrible idea, she was regretting ever opening her mouth, she knew better than to not listen when her friends are all teasing her.

A few the players talked with her parents before continuing into the tunnel, her core group remaining, making small talk with Y/N and her parents. Y/N was seamlessly talking with the few that remained, including her parents and giving everyone their desired attention. Her mind continued on how much of a bad idea this was, it was hard enough keeping her feelings to herself as it was, but now watching how flawlessly Y/N interacted with her friends challenged her even more. This was such a bad idea.

The group continued to talk before a staff came to collect the players, ushering them away, Rose telling her parents she would call them after and meet them for dinner.

“Why’d you keep her hidden so long? She’s awesome!” Sonnett shook Rose’s shoulders again, “worried one of us would steal her from you?”

That was exactly what she was worried about. She knew Y/N would hit it off with everyone on the team, and with her inability to be open about her feelings, Y/N was bound to connect with someone on the team, someone that wasn’t her.

“You’ve seen her, and you’ve seen me, she clearly upgraded,” Rose did her best to sass back, hoping her face matched her tone.

“Sure she did,” Sam rolled her eyes, gently nudged the brunette.

“Did you see her arms? Those alone are an upgrade compared to you,” Lindsey teasing squeezed Rose’s bicep.

“And you wondered why I didn’t invite any of you to meet her,” Rose rolled her eyes at the trio, frustration beginning to leak out, “now you’ve met her, you can find something else to make fun of.”

“Still you,” Sonnett nodded.

“Tomorrow at lunch,” Lindsey added.

“After recovery,” Sam joined, tilting her head to the side, “weren’t you listening?”

“Fuck,” she whispered to herself, “uhh guess I didn’t hear it.”

Rose now started at the ceiling, she had gone for supper with her parents, Y/N joining them, she was practically family at this point, had been for years really. And she loved watching how Y/N interacted with her parents, her sister, grandparents. She seamlessly fit them all, laughing at her dads bad jokes, her grandmas old stories she’s repeated multiple times, returned her sisters relentless teasing, she charmed her mom into letting her sneak bits while she cooked. Rose loved it all, she had hoped being away for soccer all the time, that distance would ease some of her feelings.

But it didn’t. They only seemed to grow. Every time Y/N would ask about soccer, let Rose rant about her injuries, lack of playing time with Manchester City, was easily the best friend she could ask for. For some reason though, the friends never talked about their relationships, so Rose had no idea how to navigate her feelings.

The entire time for recovery the next morning she was interrogated by everyone on the team about the secret girlfriend she had kept hidden from them all. Rose could easily answer them all, as much as she knew it was a fake relationship, it was nice to imagine that it was true, she could pretend for the day.

Y/N tentatively entered the restaurant she was meeting Rose and her friends for lunch, giving them all a smile when she saw them.

“I’d like to keep my lunch down, so if you could tamp down the disgustingness, that would be great,” Lindsey sassed, smirking over the lip of her coffee cup.

Rose blushed, and forced herself to look away from Y/N. She knew she had a dopey smile on her face as soon as she saw Y/N walk in, but she just couldn’t help it after spending the morning talking about her fake relationship with the woman.

“Hey guys,” Y/N greeted, waving slightly before pulling a chair out next to Rose, “hey babe,” she leaned over kissing Rose on the cheek, causing her to blush even deeper.

The group all laughed at how flustered the midfielder was. But quickly got over it, the waiter coming over to take their orders. Each taking turns to ask the newcomer the same questions they asked Rose, turning the conversation to embarrassing Rose stories as soon as they could.

“So picture this smooth human being,” Y/N sarcastically gestured to the brunette, “goes on an entire date, not knowing it was a date. Then had to awkwardly explain to the poor dude after that not only did she not know it was a date, but did not want to date him even if she did.”

The table burst out laughing, Rose shrinking in on herself, blushing again.

“How many dates-not-a-date, did you go on before they became real dates?”

The fake couple made eye contact, both thinking about their response, deliberating what the other might say.

Y/N bit her lip and looked at her plate, before looking shyly back at Rose, “too many,” looking back down, pushing some food around on her plate, “I don’t even know how many hints I had to drop, how much ass kissing to her family I did, but she never got it. I kind of gave up, was just going to be the best damn friend I could be. Then I got lucky,” she blushed, watching Rose as she kept talking, “she gave me the opportunity of a lifetime, invited me to a game, got to meet her friends. But, she’s worth the wait.”

Rose’s eyebrows shot up, Y/N telling her everything without saying the words. Y/N slid a hand to rest on Rose’s thigh. The pair made eye contact, neither knowing what to say, Y/N’s feelings were in the open, but Rose’s weren’t. And now Y/N felt incredibly exposed, the rest of the table didn’t know the truth behind her story, but Rose did, and she wasn’t saying anything.

“I’m not even surprised, that sounds exactly like Rose,” Sam chuckled across the table.

“I’ll catch up to you guys,” Rose stopped outside the door if the restaurant, motioning her friends to go ahead so she could talk to Y/N alone.

Y/N shuffled on the spot, nervous about Rose would have to say, she hadn’t said anything at her confession during lunch, “Rose I’m sorry, that was a little too honest, I should have just made up some kind of story.”

“Was it true?”

“Uhh yea,” Y/N nodded, “I get you probably don’t feel the same way, and that was why you weren’t engaging anything. That’s fine Rose, I accepted a long time ago I would just be your best friend.”

Y/N tried to show how sincere she was, staring at Rose.

Rose shook her head, “no, I’m an idiot,” she took a step forward, closing the distance. She wrapped both hands around Y/N’s cheek, firmly pulling her in for a kiss.

Y/N was shocked, not immediately responding, when she felt Rose begin to pull away, she curled her arm around Rose’s waist. The kiss escalated quickly, teeth clashing, both too excited, unable to slow them selves down.

“We’re in public!” Sonnett yelled at the couple.

They both pushed apart, taking a couple steps away from each other, both blushing and looking at their feet.

“Uhh I guess this means you feel the same?” Y/N shyly asked.

Rose nodded, “I just thought you were a really good friend.”

“I am, but I want to be more than your friend,” Y/N took a step forward, “I’m going to kiss you again, then I’m going to take you on a date.”

She waited for Rose to nod before stepping forward again, closing the distance and cupping the back of her neck.

This kiss was much softer, more controlled, both trying to convey how they felt. They pulled apart when they both couldn’t contain their smiles anymore.

“I really fucking like you,” Y/N rested her forehead against Rose’s

She giggled in return, “I really fucking like you too,” she tilted her head and kissed Y/N briefly again.

The group, unaware of the change in relationship, cat called from down the block.

They pulled apart, Rose taking steps towards the other soccer players, “I’ll call you.”

She took quick steps, kissing Y/N quickly again before running away to her friends.  

[drabbles-mc]

Burnt

Kozik x OFC (Tawnie Trager)

Inspired by Day 16 of the July Prompts: sunscreen

Part 2 can be found Here

Warnings: language

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Me? Back at it again with another slice of life fic? It’s more likely than you think! In my head this takes place on the same day as my other SOA Beach Day fic Say Cheese but the stories exist separately from one another. Also, if you’re interested in this pairing you can check out these fics: X X

SOA Taglist: @garbinge​ @masterlistforimagines​ @adela-topaz-caelon​ @chibsytelford​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @i-just-read-stuff​ @jitterbugs927​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @unicornucopia-fuckers​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @punkgoddess-98​ @paintballkid711​ @black-repunzel99​ @lexondeck​ @mrsstevenbuchananstark​ (If you want to be added just let me know!)

“Dad,” she aggressively shoved the bottle of sunscreen into his hand, “Dad just put it on.”

“No,” Tig tossed it over onto the towel, “I’m not putting that on. I don’t need it. I’ll be fine.”

Rolling her eyes, she picked the bottle back up. She squeezed a generous amount onto her hand and then proceeded to slap it onto his chest, “You’re tough but you’re not tougher than the fucking sun. Get over yourself.”

He groaned as he looked down at the mess of lotion that was on him now, “You fucking kidding me, T?”

“Nope,” she shook her head as she rubbed some into her own arms and legs.

Once she was done, she looked around to see who else was close. She loved all the boys in the club, but she would be the first to tell them all when they were being idiots. She was adamant about the whole sunscreen thing ever since they all decided to do a beach day together. The guys had given her shit about it at first, wondering when she became so concerned with those kinds of things, but when it came down to it the last thing they wanted was the pain that came from serious sunburn. So, most of them silently put some on, refusing to make eye contact with each other and acknowledge the situation.

“Kozik!” she called over to the man who was laying out towels for each of them.

His head whipped up, instantly looking over at her, “Yea?”

“You got some on?” she waved the bottle in his direction.

“Let him get burned,” Tig mumbled under his breath as he wiped away the last of the lotion that his daughter had caught him with.

Tawnie ignored the comment, shaking her head slightly as she waited for Kozik’s answer. He made his way over to her, reassuring her that, yes, he had put some on the second they got to the beach. He knew that there was no way she was going to let him get away with anything else, and she was the last person that he wanted to be pissing off.

“Can you get my back?” she asked as she handed him the bottle, pulling her hair out of the way.

“Um,” he could feel Tig’s eyes boring into him, “sure.”

Kozik silently prayed to whatever gods there were that Tig wasn’t going to pick him up and drown him in the ocean. He tried to focus on the task at hand, but he also wondered if that would make things worse. And she must’ve sense the tension, too, because she glanced back over her shoulder and looked at her father, eyebrows raised.

“You want him to get your back too, Dad?” she asked.

Kozik’s entire body froze up as he waited for the fallout. Surprisingly enough, Tig just sighed and shook his head before turning and walking down towards the water, “Those hands go below her shoulders and you’re a fucking dead man, Kozik.”

She chuckled quietly as he finished applying the sunscreen, “He’s full of it. You know that, right?”

“You sound pretty confident but I’m not so sure,” he chuckled as he closed the bottle and tossed it back into her bag.

“If he was going to kill you, he totally would have done it already.”

“That’s…that’s not as reassuring as you think it is.”

She laughed as she pressed her palms flat against his chest and pressed a light kiss to his lips, “Just relax. Who knows when we’re going to be able to all have a fun day together.”

“And what are you going to spend your fun day doing? Besides assaulting people with sunblock?”

She gave him a playful shove, “Shut up. I’m gonna go fucking swimming, duh. I haven’t been to the beach in ages,” she paused, tilting her head slightly, “What’re you gonna do?”

“Watch you swim,” a smirk crept across his face.

She couldn’t stop herself from laughing. It’d been an interesting, and slightly bumpy, road for the two of them to get to where they were at now. But she was happy about it, about him. And despite the constant pushback from her father, there was a certain type of ease and comfort that came from being with him. She knew that she wouldn’t have ever been able to be with someone who didn’t understand the type of life she lived, and no one understood it better than a man who was actually SAMCRO. But as she stood there looking at him, smiling with a few streaks of sunscreen still on his cheeks, he was more than just a guy from the MC. She never knew what it felt like to date someone who was your best friend until then.

She snapped herself out of her sappy thoughts with a shake of her head, “Don’t let my dad catch you leering.”

“I thought you said he was full of it?”

“I mean,” she laughed as she skipped off towards the water, “nothing is a hundred percent.”

He shook his head and watched her as she took off to go swim and cause whatever kinds of trouble she could manage to stir up along the way. Being with a Trager was a lot of things, but it was certainly never boring.

The afternoon sun was beating down on all of them. Most of them had found their way back to their chairs and towels and started digging into the food and drinks that they had brought with them. Tawnie was camped out on her towel, watching the volleyball game that was happening. Her father and Opie were pitted against Jax and Kozik, and to all of their credit it was shaping up to be a pretty competitive game. But she did notice the fact that Tig’s shoulders were getting redder and redder as the minutes went by—clearly he hadn’t put any extra sunscreen on except what she had forced on him. She shook her head silently, a smug smile creeping across her face. He’d have to learn the hard way, the way that he did with most things.

“Game point!” she called out before taking a sip of her beer.

“Better win this one for your girl, Kozik,” Jax quipped with a laugh.

She chuckled but she could see it on her father’s face that he was not at all amused by the comment. He dove, saving the ball from hitting the sand. There was now a new level of determination and desire to win. He never wanted Kozik to win at anything, but now there was an extra layer on top of it all.

The four of them were going back and forth for a while. Tawnie sat back, unable to hide the fact that she was incredibly impressed by them. Her eyes went wide when she saw Kozik jump up, spiking the ball down onto the other side of the net with an incredible amount of force. She couldn’t contain her laughter as she started clapping.

“Way to bring it home!” she beamed over at him.

“Lucky shot,” Tig said, already shaking his head.

Despite the tension that had been present during the game, once it was over everything went back to business as usual, which Tawnie was incredibly thankful for.

Tig was walking ahead, talking to Jax and Opie while she hung back with Kozik. She slipped her hand into his as they walked, smiles on both of their faces.

“You think it’s alright that I didn’t let him win?” he asked with a smirk.

She laughed, nodding, “It’s good for him. I’m thinking of it as karma for not using sunblock.”

“I think the blisters that are gonna be on his shoulders tomorrow will be karma enough.”

“Maybe,” she laughed, leaning against his side.

He glanced down at her, admiring her still-damp hair and the little patches of sand that were still stuck to parts of her stomach and arms. She looked so at home at the beach, and he had never felt more at home than when he felt her pressed up against his side.

“We should do this shit more often,” he said as they walked along the shore, waves lapping at their feet.

“Yea, well,” she chuckled, “When you guys take a break from your life of crime, we can do big family beach days whenever you want.”

“I’ll bring it up in church next time.”

She laughed, “Well,” she lifted their interlocked hands and kissed his knuckles, “you gotta let me know how that conversation goes.”

“If I live through it, you’ll be the first to know,” he smiled as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

The sound of Tig’s voice cut through the softness of their moment, “Hey! I said no hands below the shoulders!”