#and when livia said that i was like “oh god i have to remember to post this tomorrow”

[amarimeta]

the sopranos 2.12 "the knight in white satin armor" // succession 3.09 "chiantishire"

[ekkkkey]

vestal (chapter III)

in which we learn that Caracalla really, really loves to pray. And Geta? Geta is furious…

summary: Livia, a young Vestal Virgin, is bound to Vesta's eternal flame and the vow of sacred duty. In Rome, it's common knowledge; touch a Vestal, and the wrath of the gods will descend upon you. But what if someone dares to defy that rule?

chapter I chapter II

warnings: 18+ minors dni, dub-con, non-con

tags: darkfic, sibling rivalry, no softboys here, religious guilt, mommy issues, caracalla when i catch you!

word count: ~4k

•••

The Great Maiden, like the other Vestals, lived in the House of the Vestals, so it was easy enough to find her.

After listening carefully to Livia’s hurried account and reading Claudia’s letter, the High Priestess was silent for a moment. Then, her pale lips parted, and she gestured to a marble bench, inviting Livia to sit.

"Sit, child."

She herself remained standing, her gaze fixed somewhere ahead. Despite her efforts to appear welcoming, there was a barely concealed tension in her posture and unease in her eyes. Still, Livia obeyed, sitting down with her hands folded in her lap, studying the older woman, trying to understand what troubled her.

"I’m sorry to come asking for this, but my heart won’t rest when my sister sends me such alarming messages. I have to see her…"

The priestess’s sharp eyes fixed on her. "Does she have no one else?"

Livia sighed. "Alas, no. Our mother has been gone for years, our father only just passed, and…" She swallowed hard, forcing back the lump rising in her throat. "…and our older sister, too. Claudia has a husband, but she’s carrying a child, alone in a foreign house… If I don’t go to her, I’ll never forgive myself. I can’t lose another sister."

Whether it was Livia’s words or the sorrow on her face, something in the senior priestess softened. Her voice was quieter when she spoke.

"Very well. Go see your sister. But don’t linger too long, and…” She hesitated, frowning, before continuing, “remember—your place is here, in the temple of our goddess and protector."

"Thank you," Livia said, relief and gratitude flooding her. In a sudden rush of emotion, she bent down and pressed a kiss to the back of the Great Maiden’s hand before hurrying out. But just as she passed through the doorway, she caught the woman’s gaze following her—heavy, somber, devoid of any joy.

And just like that, her own joy vanished.

Dark thoughts crept back in, pressing in around her like shadows. The secret she hadn’t told, the truth she hadn’t shared with her sisters. Once, they had shared everything—joy and sorrow alike—but now… Now, guilt took root in her chest, and the weight of unspoken words threatened to suffocate her.

Her sisters didn’t know.

And it was his fault.

Emperor Caracalla had shattered her quiet, ordered world with nothing but his presence. He had brought with him chaos, lies, and… thoughts that had no place in the mind of a Vestal.

But the goddess knew.

Nothing could be hidden from her. And that made it all the more unbearable.

She had tried to tell Caesonia—truly, she had—but the words got stuck in her throat the moment the other priestess started talking, her eyes sparkling with excitement about Emperor Geta. Oh, how her sister admired him! She’d praised him, laughed, made silly jokes, and seemed so thrilled that they’d be attending the games again soon.

And how could Livia ruin that? How could she say that the father of Rome had stormed into the sacred temple, had whispered things to her that no young girl should ever hear? That he had touched her, behaved with brazen arrogance, nothing like the divine being so many believed him to be?

How could she describe the filth of it? The wrongness? The things that no Vestal should ever even think about?

Sin.

She longed to bathe, to cleanse herself, as if Caracalla had truly touched her, squeezed her throat, and kept purring in her ear.

A shudder ran through her, and she bit down hard on her lip, desperate to chase away the smiling image of the emperor from her mind.

She had no time for this.

She needed to think of Claudia. She needed to focus on her sister. Not waste another moment on impure thoughts.

ৡ ৡ ৡ

As soon as the chariot began rolling through the streets of Rome, a fresh wave of panic washed over her. Livia tugged the curtains tighter, not wanting anyone to see her. This visit had to be swift and discreet—there was no reason for the people of Rome to know that a Vestal Virgin was paying a visit to the emperors’ palace.

She had no interest in the outside world—she didn’t care to see how the capital lived, neither the lavish homes of the patricians nor the cramped, crumbling dwellings of the plebeians. And yet, when the chariot slowed, she couldn’t help but peek through the slightly parted curtain. What she saw made her gasp.

The emperors’ palace, a gleaming fortress of white marble, was overwhelming in its grandeur. Even approaching from the less prominent side, away from the central square, there was still plenty to marvel at.

She was expected. As soon as she stepped inside, she was escorted directly to her sister. To Livia’s surprise, they led her to a garden, where amidst fragrant flowers, elegant marble statues, and the quiet singing of birds, Claudia waited for her in a shaded gazebo.

The young woman lounged in a garden chair, looking bored. Her legs were stretched out on a low stool, one hand absently stroking her rounded belly. But the moment she saw Livia, her expression lit up with genuine joy.

Livia lifted the sheer, pale-blue veil from her face. Beside Claudia, a dark-skinned slave girl sat at her feet. At the sight of Livia, the girl’s eyes widened—not just in surprise, but in something else. Fear? Doubt? Did she find it strange that a Vestal Virgin had come to see her mistress? Or… had she seen Livia before? Livia didn’t know, and she had no desire to dwell on it. With a simple nod, Claudia dismissed the servants, leaving them alone.

"Livia, sister, I’m so happy you’re here," Claudia said, reaching out with both hands.

Livia covered them with her own, squeezing gently. “How are you feeling?” she asked, searching her sister’s face for answers.

"Oh, this…" Claudia’s expression faltered, her eyes darting nervously. She didn’t look sick. "Forgive me for the little deception, Livia. I—" She hesitated. "You must forgive me. I just wanted to see you so badly, and I couldn’t think of any other way to distract you from your prayers!"

Livia stiffened. Anger flared through her body, and she pulled away, her movement sharper than intended.

"Do you realize," she said, her voice rougher than before, "that because of your 'little' deception, I’m in a difficult position? I have duties. What am I supposed to tell the High Priestess? That my sister is a liar?"

"You don’t need to explain anything," Claudia said smoothly. "Just tell them I’m feeling better, and that’s all. Is it really such a crime to visit your pregnant sister? Do you truly believe Vesta would be angered by that?"

But Livia remained resolute, crossing her arms and taking a step back.

"Lies—those are the real sin,” she said, eager to return to the temple immediately. “Answer me, Claudia—why did you really come up with this story?"

Her sister straightened, lowering her feet to the ground, placing a protective hand over her belly. Her gaze turned distant, uneasy. Her lips parted, but she hesitated, avoiding Livia’s eyes. She was hiding something. And Livia didn’t like it.

"I was asked to…" Claudia finally murmured.

"By who?" Livia’s voice came out hoarse. She already knew the answer.

"The emperor…" Claudia admitted softly.

Livia didn’t wait to hear more. She pulled the veil back over her face, turned on her heel, and strode toward the exit. Away from the garden. Away from the palace. Back to the temple, where her sisters—though not by blood—would never lie to her.

"Wait!"

A sister’s hand, hot and desperate, grabbed her wrist.

"I had no choice, Livia, please!" Claudia’s voice broke into a sob. "Appius is always at the Senate, and when he’s not there, he’s off carousing with the emperors. I’m alone all the time! I really did want to see you, and when Emperor Geta told me—"

"He ordered you to do this?" Livia yanked her hand free. Through the thin veil, she regarded her sister’s small, trembling figure, unwilling to show her own face. Or her emotions. The resentment in her chest tightened like a knot.

"No, but… You know the gods’ power lies in the hands of the emperors. Who am I to refuse a request?"

"You’re my sister," Livia said sharply, turning to leave again.

"Livia…" Claudia’s voice cracked.

She clutched her belly, breathing heavily, and sank back into her chair.

Livia’s heart softened, and she hurried to sit in front of her sister, inspecting her, stroking her dark hair gently.

"Don’t upset yourself, please. I forgive you," Livia said softly, fixing her sister with a steady gaze, brushing the damp curls from her forehead… and then she froze.

Claudia had always been frail. Both Cassandra and Livia had been strong, healthy—tall, just like their father, and eerily similar since childhood. But Claudia had always been different, with her dark hair and blue eyes, she took after their mother with her frailty and shorter stature.

And now, looking at her, Livia realized: Claudia truly was ill.

Her gaze drifted lower. Without touching her, she traced a faint red mark on her sister’s skin. Then another. One near her collarbone, half-hidden beneath the fabric of her deep burgundy tunic.

"What is this?" Livia breathed.

Claudia hurriedly shifted her long hair over her chest, hiding the marks.

"Nothing…"

A lie. Livia saw it in her eyes. She wanted to press her, to demand the truth—but they were interrupted.

A palace guard had arrived. The emperor was summoning her. And she couldn’t refuse.

Casting one last, sorrowful glance at her sister—now curled up in her chair, her face unreadable—Livia rose and followed the guard into the palace.

ৡ ৡ ৡ

This time, she doesn’t stop to admire the gold or marble. The sculptures and frescoes fade into the background. All she can think about is her sister—those marks. She’s seen them before… she’s almost certain.

"Wait here, priestess. Emperor Geta will join you shortly," the guard tells her before leaving her alone in the vast, empty throne room.

Livia clasps her hands together, her gaze drifting over the towering arches and columns. She doesn’t like it here—it’s too ostentatious, too… too dangerous. The sheer size of the space makes her uneasy; she longs to return to her small, familiar room in the House of the Vestals. She avoids looking at the intricately carved thrones at the center of the hall, but a bas-relief above a small, almost hidden door tucked behind the columns catches her eye.

She’s heard the story countless times—first as a child in her parents’ home, then later from the High Priestess, who taught her about the sisterhood. Carved into the white stone is a she-wolf nursing two infants. Twin brothers. Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, who…

"Their mother was a Vestal, wasn’t she?" a quiet, sudden voice makes her flinch.

Caracalla is standing close—too close—as if he’d been there all along. Livia wills her racing heart to calm, determined not to let him revel in her fear. Thankfully, her face remains hidden behind the veil.

"Yes, my Caesar," she replies politely, bowing her head. "She bore them from a god."

"What could be more honorable, hmm? Mars, the god of war, blessed her womb with great sons," he stood in profile, his eyes locked on the relief, but she could see his lips stretch into a smile.

"And couldn’t protect her when she needed it," she retorts, bristling.

"So now we’re judging the gods, are we?" He turned to her, and she swallowed, her gaze dropping, cursing her own foolishness.

"No, we are merely humble servants, Emperor," she replied softly, and Caracalla smiled again.

The faint clink of golden bracelets fills the air as he gestures toward another wall. Livia’s gaze locks onto his pale, well-kept hand. This time, there are no rings—instead, his thin fingers are coated in gold up to the middle knuckle. She’s seen priests do this, though they used sacrificial blood… She could easily imagine blood in place of gold.

"Another one of your sisters," he giggled, eyeing Livia with interest, still smiling with slightly parted lips, like a mischievous child.

Livia presses her lips tighter. The young emperor is testing her, teasing her. She glances at the other bas-relief. Tarpeia, the traitor who betrayed her city, is depicted with a look of terror, buried under heavy shields, one hand reaching desperately toward the sky.

"The claim that she was a Vestal is a myth," Livia replied curtly.

"But the rumors exist, don’t they?" he said lightly. "Of course, not something a Vestal would take pride in. But you’re different, aren’t you? Faithful to your calling."

This time, his eyes met hers directly—so piercing, so heavy, it felt as though the veil between them didn’t exist at all. As if she stood before him bare.

"I am faithful to my vows, Emperor."

«How many times do I have to say it before you stop looking at me like that?» she thinks, clenching her fists. He immediately notices her tension, his eyes flicking downward. He seems relaxed, unserious, smug even—but Caracalla is watching her closely. He is attentive.

Dressed in sapphire blue, his eyes are even more striking—dark, tempestuous, mirroring the hue of his tunic. His hair is a wild tangle of curls, untamed by a golden laurel, and his cheeks burn with a feverish glow, just beneath a delicate layer of powder. Livia’s gaze snags on the tiny, nearly healed marks on his cheekbones, and her mind flashes back to Claudia. Could it…?

"I’m here to visit my father," Caracalla says with a nod, as if the strange tension between them never existed.

Only now did she realize that the small door led to the altar.

"You praying?" she asked, genuinely surprised. In her mind, Caracalla was a god unto himself.

"Praying?" he echoed, a sly twist in his voice. It was hard to tell whether he was answering or posing the question back at her, daring her to guess. Livia stayed silent.

"You can join me. My father may not have been a devout man or given your temple the attention it deserves," he says, his eyes swept down her body and back up again, "but a Vestal priestess might brighten his afterlife."

She hesitates for only a heartbeat before following him. She has no choice.

Alone with the emperor in the small, dimly lit room, Livia freezes against the wall, waiting for him to speak. But he doesn’t.

He stares at the gilded altar, a smile playing on his lips—not a sad one, but rather sardonic, cruel even. As if he’s pleased his father is dead, his bones buried beneath, while Caracalla stands here, alive, the emperor…

"Five years to the day since he died," his hoarse, quiet voice cuts through the silence.

"I’m sorry," Livia replies. "My father’s gone too. I understand…"

"Do you?" His high, hysterical laugh jolted her, and she stepped back toward the exit, warily watching the flushed cheekbones, the dilated pupils, the heavy rise and fall of his chest beneath the blue toga. "Were you glad when your father died too?"

And then it hits her. He hated the old emperor.

Oh, how foolish she had been, believing he could ever love anyone.

She recalls the day the emperor passed. Whispers had spread, suggesting he’d been murdered… Could one of his sons have been responsible? Unease settles in her chest as she wraps her arms around herself.

Caracalla, as if reading her thoughts, turned toward her, narrowed his eyes, and then approached so closely that she could smell the scent of aromatic oils. His hand rose, and she recoiled, fearing he might touch her. But no, his fingers merely grazed the veil, pushing it back to reveal her pale face.

For a moment, they were silent. She seemed to stop breathing altogether while the emperor studied her face with surprising seriousness and focus. They were the same height, and Caracalla was only slightly older than her, but for some reason, Livia felt like a child, a little girl. It was frightening.

"Your sister was here," he says, running his tongue over his lips, his breathing quickening again.

"Claudia?" she whispers, almost without thinking.

"Who?" He laughs. "No, your other sister."

"Cassandra?"

The name of her sister causes the emperor’s pupils to dilate even further, the blackness swallowing the blue of his irises. The shifting torchlight casts shadows across his face, transforming it into something tragic, unsettling. He stepped back from her, turning once again to the altar, standing next to his father’s bust.

Now Livia saw two profiles—one marble, one alive, human.

Yet the living emperor, standing still, was no different from the statue. Pale, youthful, beautiful, he surpassed even the finest work of the sculptor who had carved his father.

"Yes," he replied. "Little bird often brightened my days when she lived here. Sweet, gentle, obedient…"

His voice dips into a purr, and Livia’s brow furrows. Little bird. He’d called her that too.

"You’re nothing like her, though your face is hers exactly."

She felt a wave of disgust ripple through her at the tone he used when speaking of her dead sister—as if a single tender purr could tarnish Cassandra’s memory.

Livia silently turned away, unwilling to speak to him any longer. She needed to meet with the other emperor and leave the palace.

But as she took a step toward the exit, his hand roughly grabbed her wrist, and he slammed her against the wall, chest-first.

Stunned, it took her a moment to register what had just happened.

He had grabbed her!

Touched her not playfully, but brazenly, shamelessly! As if she were… Her!? Livia gasped, her cheek flat against the cold wall, his hot body pressing into her from behind, grip squeezing her wrist to pain.

"Let go! This is sacrilege!" she whispered, trying not to sound too frantic.

"I touched you—grabbed you like some common kitchen wench," he whispers in her ear, inhaling the scent of her hair, his nose burying into her neck.

"And look—my hands are still here. Your goddess hasn’t cursed me. Who’s going to punish me, huh? You? Come on then. Fight back. Hit me. Here I am, touching you again and again, right on my father’s grave! So what are you going to do to me, priestess?"

His other hand settles on her neck, brushing her hair aside. She couldn’t move.

Not wanting to anger him further, Livia freezes.

So does he.

"Emperor Antoninus, please," a desperate whisper escapes her dry lips.

His breath on her neck quickens, grows hotter.

His name stirs something in him—his grip on her wrist even loosens slightly.

"Say it again," he commands.

"Please…"

"Not that! My name!"

"Antoninus…" Her voice trembles, and he presses into her hips harder, letting out a quiet moan.

"My mother used to call me that," he whispers, finally releasing her wrist.

Livia can’t bear it any longer.

While he’s distracted, relaxed, she spins around, shoving him hard in the chest—consequences be damned. Her nails rake across the back of his hand as she rushes away, her heart pounding, dreading he’ll follow.

But he doesn’t.

Only his laughter echoes behind her.

"Fly, little bird—we’ll meet again!"

ৡ ৡ ৡ

She rushed to leave the throne room, desperate to escape the palace, but as she reached the exit, she collided with Emperor Geta. His face froze at the sight of her, his eyes scanning her disheveled appearance with a stunned disbelief.

Only then did Livia realize how she must look. Her gaze was wild, her hair a tangled mess, her veil crumpled, and her wrists were marked with blossoming bruises, streaked with traces of gold paint left by Emperor Caracalla. Geta noticed all of it. He pressed his lips into a thin line but didn’t comment on it, speaking as though everything were perfectly ordinary.

"Apologies for the wait, priestess" he says politely, inclining his head. Unlike his brother, his hair is neat, crowned with a golden laurel, as it should be. He’s dressed in night-black robes—impeccable, composed, focused. Yet, Livia can’t help but notice the red blotches seeping through the layer of powder. He’s furious. His dark eyes bore into her as if she’s betrayed him.

"Why am I here?" she said hastily, still fearing that Caracalla might appear behind her.

"I told you—I enjoy your company, I want to see you more often," Geta replied softly, licking his lips.

Her mind immediately flashed back to his brother’s words: "Geta wants you." A wave of nausea hit her.

"We agreed to meet at the games."

"Yes, I remember," his black eyes remained fixed on her wrists, and she suddenly wanted to strike him. How dare he!? He knew exactly what his brother had done! He knew it was Caracalla—he knew, and yet he remained silent, endured it! If he likes her so much, why is he tolerating this? Coward.

"I wish to see you. Without the High Priestess and your sisters. Just you. There will be a feast tonight. I want you to be there."

Livia blinked, stunned. What did he think she was?

"That’s insulting," she spat.

"It’s an honor," he replied sharply, his voice growing colder. "Didn’t your sisters in the past attend feasts, gatherings? Watching gladiators spill blood on the arena floor is acceptable, but spending an evening with Rome’s noble citizens is condemned? There will be poetry readings, singers, harpists. You’ll spend your time as you see fit. If you think of anything improper, that’s not my fault…" He smirked, brazenly tilting his chin, reminding her once again of Caracalla.

Anger overwhelmed her completely. Oh, so he wanted to show her off to his friends like some precious trinket? To brag?

Livia bit the inside of her cheek as hard as she could, forced a fake smile, and nodded.

"One evening, Emperor. And then you’ll leave me be."

Geta mirrored her smile, his curious gaze lingering on her face, before replying, obviously lying:

"Of course, Amata."

[roguerogerss]

The President; ‘Something Sweet.’

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Reader

W/C: 2.1k

Warnings: SMUT!!

(HEY! this is the second part to The President, part 3 will be out soon so plssss stay tuned, hope u luv it, luv you, bye) (requests r open! send me stuff here)

-

“Where did you go?"

Clemensia snatched your arm and stopped you in your place. You'd been trying to ignore all of the girls, weaving your way in and out of the crowd, accepting the odd congratulations or hug as you went, you thought you might find Tigris and stick by her until at least dinner time. You wanted nothing more than to be at home.

"Oh." You started but stopped short. If you even stuttered you knew she'd know, your legs were shaking and, if she looked at you closely, she'd be able to see that your hair wasn't nearly as smooth as it was an hour ago, and your lipstick had smudged over your chin and you'd spent longer than you should've trying to wipe it off. "Just had a few photos to be taken, Coryo wanted them out of the way."

Clemensia turned you to face her, gripping your forearms as she eyed you suspiciously. You held your breath a moment, she wasn't the type to keep her mouth shut. "Of course. Photos."

She was smirking at you, and you nearly hung your head in shame out of pure instinct. You teetered backwards slightly in your heels, and Clemensia barely stifled a laugh. "Did these photos involve you being bent over something?"

"Clemmie!" You burst out, hands clamping over your mouth, cheeks burning red. And then you couldn't help but laugh. "Don't say anything, please."

"I won't!" She laughed and took hold of your hand, starting to lead you back towards the rest of your school friends. “I didn’t say anything when you’d disappear for every free hour we had in school, did I?”

“Clemensia!”

Okay! I won’t say anything. Promise. It's your day, and Coryo's President now. I can’t say anything."

You laughed as you approached the other girls, Clemmie was your friend, as much as you hated to admit it, and you did actually like spending time with her, after you got over the initial idea of it. The other girls, however, were a different story.

"Where did you guys go?" Lysistrata whined when you rejoined the circle. She wasn’t the worst of the bunch, but, god, could she moan about anything. "Felix had an interview and they basically said that he actually would've won, had Doctor Gaul's vote not counted-"

"Well, her vote did count." Clemensia defended and sent you a small smile. "Why dwell on it, Lyssie?"

"Because it's unfair." Livia practically snarled, lip curled upwards like a growling dog. "Coriolanus will be president until he either steps down, or dies off. And we all know he won't step down, so none of us will even have a chance at it."

"You wouldn't have a chance at anything anyway, Livia. Festus is a slob." You snapped. You'd remembered why you so hated going to school, and then University with these girls. Livia especially always seemed to bring out the worst in you. You heard Clemensia sigh, and Lysistrata sucked in a breath to be held.

Livia looked as though she was about to lunge for you. "He is not a slob!" She threw her hands in the air and started to say something else, when Clemensia butted in, to avoid a public argument between two powerful men's wives.

"Ladies!" She held her arms out between the two of you in a calming manner, and you almost scoffed and walked away from them, but you knew you had to be here. For Coryo, you thought. "Let's just all be friends, okay? You managed it for seventeen years before today, you can certainly last another two hours."

"Oh, look!" Lysistrata pointed excitedly at the grand hall, drawing the attention of the conversation to something else entirely. "I think we've to go for dinner, now. Aren't you all excited? It'll be lovely."

You were definitely excited. The University provided three square meals a day, if you stayed long enough - you always did - but, since you'd graduated, it had been back to Tigris' cabbage soup and the occasional luxury like a loaf of bread or some beef mince, if Coriolanus helped Doctor Gaul with something she believed warranted an extra payout. The food was guaranteed to be something special, and, even better, you could leave your school friends behind for at least an hour and sit by Coryo instead.

An avox appeared by your small group, and gestured for you all to follow them, leading the gathering of wives to the dinner hall first. Clemensia, Livia, and Lysistrata were positioned at a table together, each one chair apart from the other, and you almost laughed out loud when Livia's scowl deepened further and Clemmie sighed disappointedly at her space between the other two.

After seating the three other women, the avox gestured for you to follow them even further, to a long, rectangular table overlooking a sea of smaller round ones. The hall really was magnificent, all marble and hardwood, a string quartet playing in the far corner, and Coriolanus' Grandma'am's roses decorating each table, in small glass vases. You smiled at the touch, assuming it was Tigris' doing, Coryo would love it.

"Thank you." You nodded to the avox as they tapped a chair for you to sit in. The table was laid with a white tablecloth and lace runner, and six plates, with dainty little place cards placed neatly atop them. The ones on either side of you read Tigris Snow and President Coriolanus Snow. You assumed the one next to Coryo would've been for the Grandma'am and the other two chairs for other government officials.

The room started to fill up with people, celebrities, guests, reporters, game makers. You tried to make out anyone familiar in the sea of people, but faces blurred into one another, distant chatter became almost deafening, and you found that, not only could you not decipher one person from another, but you'd given yourself a headache trying to do so.

The chair beside you pulled back, startling you from your squint-eyed staring, and then Tigris appeared, beaming and touching a hand to your shoulder. "He did it!" She cried and you embraced, squealing as you did so.

“I know.” You mused. “Did you do the roses?”

Tigris nodded, a satisfied smile crossing her face. “Yes, do you like them? I thought it’d be nice, something familiar.”

“They’re beautiful, he’ll love them.” You plucked one of the stems from the vase in front of you, inspecting the perfect flower, so familiar. You’d always loved the Grandma’am’s roses, almost as much as Coryo did.

You were only able to talk for a moment, Tigris complimenting the way you'd done his hair, you gushing over his suit. You loved Tigris, really. But the national anthem began playing, and then there were cameras on you both and you tried to remember to sit up straight and keep your chin down.

The entire room erupted into cheers and claps and cries as Coriolanus entered, looking dazzling as ever. You even noticed Livia giving a hand, which sent a sense of satisfaction through you. "There he is! Our brand new President, it's Coriolanus Snow!" Lucky Flickerman had appeared out of nowhere again, and you could just hear him over the sound of the crowd. "And he's making his way over to his gorgeous first lady! I heard they've only been married three days."

You stifled a laugh at Lucky's overly dramatic performance, and then you felt almost self conscious, seeing all of the people looking towards you, the cameras pointed in your direction. Tigris touched a gentle hand to your arm to soothe you, and you just about managed a grin as Coryo approached.

He sat down next to you and you found his hand placed on the small of your back, thumb rubbing soothing circles just beside your spine. You let out a sigh of relief and smiled until the cameras turned away and the starting course of the meal served. "That was good, darling." Coryo spoke quietly. "Are you okay? You seem nervous."

"I am nervous." You turned toward him and placed a hand on his knee. "I'll get over it, though. First day jitters."

"Of course you will." And then he leaned down to whisper in your ear, hand creeping up your thigh under the cover of the tablecloth. "What do you think I could do to calm you down, hm?"

"Coryo." You hid a small smile and wrapped your fingers around his wrist. "People are watching."

"All the more fun." You turned to face him, noticing the half-concealed grin playing on his lips. Your eyes flickered out towards the crowd and cameras, guests were all chattering and eating, but the cameras stayed put, and Lucky continued his constant commentary of you. You imagined him, broadcasting to the entirety of Panem, that the brand new President was fingering his wife at the dinner table.

Coryo's hand wandered up even further, underneath your skirt, into your underwear. You sucked in a breath and made a sort of uncomfortable grunt, biting back a whine as two familiar fingers pressed into you. You gripped onto the tablecloth and Tigris turned to you, concern in her eyes. "Are you okay?" She asked and you nodded, too enthusiastically.

"I'm okay." You answered, but you knew your face wasn't communicating what you said, and Tigris' hand was pressed to your forehead before you could tell her again.

"You're hot, have you drank enough water today? And you're flushed, too-" Tigris was in the middle of pouring some water into the glass in front of you when Coryo cut in.

"She's okay, Tigris." He smiled at his cousin. "Wasn't feeling too well last night, were you, love?"

You shook your head, trying to act convincing while Coriolanus' fingers continued their assault inside of you. "Oh, honey! Well, get some rest tonight, okay?"

And then Tigris had turned back to her conversation with the Grandma'am, and you made a mental note to continue the narrative that you were sick, at least in front of Tigris. And then you noticed that Lucky was staring right at the two of you, massive grin on his face, as always, and the camera beside him was fixated on your table.

"Coryo, the cameras!" You hissed, but he silenced you, curling his fingers against your sensitive spot. You made another strangled sound, but Tigris didn't turn around this time, too invested in conversation with the Grandma'am.

"Shh," Coryo comforted you, nuzzling his forehead against your cheek in a way that could've been mistaken for a loving gesture for the cameras. "Let them see, honey. Just be quiet for me. My good girl."

He curled his fingers faster inside of you, so that you had to clamp your hand on your thigh to stop your legs from shaking aggressively, every now and again he'd lean down and say something like, "You're doing so well." or "So good for me." and your head would spin.

"Coryo," You whispered, a breathy moan falling from your lips, almost loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. "I'm getting close, you know how loud I get."

Dessert was being served, now, and you were almost glad that the avoxes didn't have tongues, because you were certain that the one placing your lemon tart in front of you had made a strange face whilst doing so.

Coryo's fingers brushed your sensitive spot once again, and you felt his hand on your back as it arched off of the chair, dimming the appearance of your arousal to the public. "I know. Not going to let you finish, not yet."

He pressed a short kiss to your temple and then pulled his fingers out of you, at which you huffed and pouted, he felt his cock throb, seeing you looking so bratty.

"Coryo!" You whined, bottom lip still jutting out. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" He asked, smirk playing on his face. He made you watch as he looked you straight in the eye, lifted his fingers to his lips - still glistening with your slick - and sucked them clean. "Mmh, so sweet, my girl. Now, I want you to go home, familiarise yourself with the mansion - you'll love it, by the way - and wait for me to get there. No touching yourself, you know the punishment for that."

A small smile grew on your face as you nodded. Coryo kissed your face, picked up your dessert fork and handed it to you, gesturing to the food in front of you. As you took your first bite, he slid his own across to the Senator sat next to him. The larger man looked at him with confusion in his eyes.

"You can take mine, already had something sweet."

[bellysoupset]

Thunderstorm

"Are you even listening to me?" Sophia asked, pouting, pacing the living room.

It was a gloomy Thursday night and Vince was sitting on his parents' couch, with Livia fast asleep against his arm. He had volunteered to play babysitter, despite the fact Soph would be home, simply because being all alone in his house with his thoughts didn't seem like a good idea.

"Uh?"

"Are you listening to me?" She repeated, and Liv stirred slightly.

"Uhm, yeah, yeah-" Vince lied, moving his arm so he could scoop up the seven year old, "I'm going to put Liv to bed and get going."

"Oh my God, you were not!" Sophia cried out, following him as he picked up Livia and started to walk up the stairs, "I was asking you to help me find an affordable bike or car-"

"Ah," Vince nodded, blushing and pushing Livia's door open with his arm, "sure, bambi, whatever you want-"

"Urgh, forget it. I'll ask babbo."

"Babbo doesn't know a damn thing about cars," Vince rolled his eyes, gesturing for Soph to pull up the blankets of the bed, "I'll help, I just-" he leaned in, planting Livia on top of the mattress and tucking her in, "It's just been a bad week, Soph."

There was a beat of silence, surprisingly so, and when he turned around his sister was glaring at him in a concerned manner, hands planted on her hips.

"You never told me what happened," she said, squinting at him and following Vince out of the room, turning on Livia's night light on her way out, "do I need to kick Wendy's ass?"

Vince let out a surprised chuckle, "what? No, Wen and I are fine, we're great. She's clearing her closet so I'll have any space to put my clothes," he snorted at the thought, "you might actually wanna text her, she's getting rid of a lot of stuff you might like."

"Ah, okay," Sophia was still squinting at him, following him like an annoying chihuahua as they walked down the stairs, "are you gonna fess up? You've been so weird, like weirder than the usual, lately."

"Thanks," Vince rolled his eyes, walking into the kitchen and starting the coffee machine as he filled up a mug, "Luke- Luke and I had a fight..."

Sophia leaned against the kitchen island, arms crossed to her chest and she raised her eyebrows, "you and Luke? You guys don't fight..."

"Well, apparently now we do," Vince looked away from her, unable to meet his sister's judgmental gaze as he continued to say, "we had a fight that weekend he was over, uhm- Almost two months ago, now? The one he got sick with my bug...?"

"I remember that, yeah, when he came for dinner," he could hear the impatience in her voice.

"Yeah, and- And the argument sort of escalated and he accused me of cheating on Wendy-" Vince heard a hiss, Sophia's whole spine straightening up like a snake's ready to attack, "and I told him I'd end our friendship if he ever said that again... And ever since I thought we were fine, but I don't think- We are not. He-" his voice caught in the knot in his throat and Vince wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans, "he basically told me he doesn't think we're friends anymore, I-" Vince interrupted himself, jaw locking in place, unable to keep going.

There was a beat of heavy silence, then Sophia took a step closer, so she could get a good look at his face since he was still stubbornly looking at the kitchen sink.

"Vin," she was frowning at him, brows almost meeting and the corners of her mouth pulled down, "what the fuck? That's not a fight, that's- You haven't talked with him since?"

He shook his head, feeling incredibly self conscious as Sophia studied him with a displeased frown, "he was really sick during the Superbowl and so was I... Then I had to come back for work and I-" he shrugged, trying to mask the fact he had simply been scared. He was fucking terrified of calling Luke since or going back to Welton and finding out Lucas meant every word when he was talking about them being friends in the past tense.

"You're supposed to be smart, no?" Sophia scoffed, pursing her lips, "the guy tells you you're no longer friends and you leave? And don't talk after? Do you even care?"

It felt like being slapped across the face and Vince jumped, startled, "of course I care, I love him like my brother!" Vince exclaimed, offended, and his sister simply shrugged, unbothered by his tone.

"Really?" She raised a skeptical brow, blue eyes sparkling, "if it was me telling you're cheating on Wendy, you'd cut relations with me?"

Vince scoffed, glaring at her and rolling his eyes, "I can't cut relations with you, Sophia," he wrinkled his nose, "but it'd be fucking rude of you to say that, so yeah, I'd be pissed-"

"But you wouldn't cut relations with me over it," Soph shrugged, unbothered and sounding a little smug. Then her face softened as a thought occurred her, shoulders dropping and smile wavering, "you do know its okay to like... Not want to be friends anymore? I'm just sayi-"

"No," Vince shook his head vehemently, "that's the opposite of what I want. Hell, I'm moving back because I miss him, this has to count for something, right?"

"What did Luke say when you told him?" Sophia asked, stealing the coffee mug Vince had forgotten about. She busied herself with blowing the smoke off its top and taking a sip, before frowning as she looked up and met her brother's guilt gaze, "you didn't tell him?"

Vin bit down his lip, "like I said, we were both sick and then he- He told me we're no longer friends and I just... I couldn't-"

"So you haven't talked with him since, you didn't tell him you're moving back- What did you do? Because you're telling me he's your best friend and, really, I was more mindful towards the cheer bitches than you are being right now."

"Don't call your friends that," Vince berated her automatically, only for his sister to roll her eyes at him.

"That's my point, they're not my friends, they're the girls from the cheer team," Sophia shrugged, "anyway, I think you fucked it."

Vince's stomach rolled at the words. He knew Soph was dramatic and only 18 and she wasn't particularly good dealing with people... But she wasn't telling him anything he didn't already think.

"Fuck-" outside the kitchen window, he saw the headlights of his parent's car as they entered the garage, "I have to go."

"Okay..." Sophia planted her mug back down, then took a tentative, hesitant step closer and Vince raised his eyebrows as she wrapped her arms around him, awkwardly so.

"What are you doing?" He asked, as she pulled him into a makeshift hug. Sophia let out a long suffering sigh, the top of her head brushing his chin.

"Hugging you...?"

He wrapped his arms around her, properly pulling her closer and immediately felt Soph trying to pull back.

"Okay, that's enough," she shoved his arm just as their parents entered the house, whispering between themselves.

"Is everything okay?" Ma asked as she caught the hug just as they pulled apart, "Sophia?"

Vince snorted at that, avoiding his mother's eyes since she could always read him like a book, "I have to go," he circled his sister, hugging his parents goodbye, "I'm hitting the road tomorrow early morning."

"I thought you weren't going over this weekend..." Ma pouted, as she followed him to the garage, where his bike was parked. Vin shrugged, putting his helmet on and getting on top of the vehicle.

"Changed my mind," he said in a nonchalant way, although he was feeling anything but. Sophia's words were swirling in his mind, what had he done besides running away? To reassure Luke of their friendship?

----------

"Jonah's right," Luke declared, as he grabbed his wallet and his jacket, causing Bella to look up from the couch where she had been putting together an old radio she thrift shopped.

"There's a sentence I don't hear every day," she teased him lightly, "uh- Where are you going?"

"Vince's," his whole face was tingling. It was only two days since Jon had asked him to be his best man, a week since the whole Superbowl fiasco and Lucas had slowly but surely arrived at the conclusion that he'd apologize and do whatever it took, but he was not going to end his friendship with Vince.

"It's 7 PM, Luke," Bella frowned at him, "you'll arrive at 11, I don't want you on the road so late..."

"I can't sit here, Bell," he paced the living room nervously, "It's driving me insane, I need to talk with him."

"In the morning-"

"No, tonight," it was overdue, as far as he was concerned. He shook his head stubbornly, trying to make it clear this was not a fight Bella could win. She probably arrived to the same conclusion, because her blue eyes got a frustrated glint to them.

"Okay..." She sighed, "call me as soon as you get there, please?"

"Will do," Luke pressed a kiss to her forehead, clicking at his car keys, "I'll be back for lunch tomorrow," he promised, "I love you."

"I love you too, don't let Vin puppy eye his way into things," Bella warned him, walking to the door so she could see him off, "Lucas."

"I won't," he swore, then cringed as he felt the cold breeze cut through his jacket, almost causing the front door to close on Bell's face. His wife looked unusually displeased by the gloomy weather, probably because he was about to drive for four hours.

Bella had a point about him letting Vin win any argument as soon as he pulled out his puppy eyes and there was a small, vindictive part of him that thought he was being stupid by driving over. Vince had messed up and he was the one who should be apologizing, not Luke, he genuinely believed that-

Except he didn't. End of the day, it didn't matter who was in the wrong, it didn't matter the heartbreak or anything else. He wanted Vince in his life, so pride be damned, he was going to apologize if that's what it took.

The rain started halfway through his drive there, a heavy thunderstorm with lightning bolts painting the pitch dark sky fluorescent blue for a split second. Luke's head started to throb, due to the flickering lights, and he groaned, rubbing at them with one hand, while killing the radio that had just turned into static.

Outside of Vince's place, a streetlamp had stopped working, so Luke couldn't see much as he opened the car and rushed through the rain to his best friend's porch, hammering on the door.

"Vince!? VIN!" he was drenched wet and shaking from the cold as the wind howled, so maybe his knocks were harder than they should've been and for a second Luke worried about being rude, only to realize that Vince wasn't even home.

Great.

He shuddered as the wind picked up. His phone was inside his car and he could rush over there to grab it and call Vin, maybe crank up the heater, but he was so worried he'd call Vince only to learn that he was out with Max. It felt pathetic, to be this jealous, but Vin hadn't bothered to talk with him since the Superbowl and Luke couldn't do much about the way his thoughts were whirling, making up scenarios...

There was the flicker of yellow of Vince's bike as he turned the corner of his street and then parked before the house.

Either he had headphones on or Luke's voice was too low, because as he said "Vince!" a thunder swallowed it up and his friend continued to march forward to the porch, nearly trampling him over. He shook Vin's arm and the other man whirled around, startled.

"JESUS CHRIST!" He yelled, nearly jumping out of his skin, "LUKE!?"

"YEAH!" Luke yelled over the thunder and Vince did nothing to his insecurity as he frowned instead of smiling, giving Lucas a once over and then pulling him inside the house, shutting the storm outside.

"What are- Shit, for how long have you been out there? Why didn't you call me?!" Vince asked, buzzing around the house so he could grab a towel in the bathroom and throwing it on top of Luke's head. Lucas was shivering, teeth chattering, face all pale and raindrops running down from his dark hair, glued down to his head.

"Fi-figured yo-you'd be here soon," Luke mumbled, drying his hair and stripping off his soaked jacket, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk with you-"

"God, don't apologize," Vince interrupted him, harshly, and Luke's mouth snapped closed. Okay, so maybe he had underestimated how messed up things were...?

But then Vince continued, "I was going over tomorrow, I also think we should talk…"

Suddenly he couldn't breathe. Anxiety causing his stomach to freeze over, fingers stopping as he clutched the towel and mumbled a little pathetic, "Ah..."

Vince was done with him. All he had feared from the second Vin announced he was moving to Doveport came crashing down. The little nagging voice that bothered him as he was the only one who visited, as Vince brought Max everything, as the distance drifted apart... Vince had been trying to let him down gently, but Luke had made it impossible and now he was there, freezing to the bone, shivering violently, and Vin was going to spell it out for him.

He couldn't breathe.

Luke stumbled back, shaking his head, "no, don't- Don't say that-" he mumbled through numb lips, a harsh gag wrecking through him and little colorful dots appearing in his vision.

"Luke?"

He wheezed instead of answering, then reached behind him blindly until he found the door handle and pulled at it, so he could stumble back outside in the middle of a storm to retch on Vince's front lawn.

The world tilted and he lost his footing on the slippery porch, sinking to his knees, only for Vin to stop him from fully falling.

"Geez," Vince sank to his knees behind him, rubbing a hand up and down Luke's back, "you're okay buddy, I got you. Get it up."

Lucas didn't need anymore incentive. The blood was still singing in his ears and he was struggling to hear Vin through the noise, his whole body pulsing as panic clawed at him, making it harder to breath. His stomach rolled again and all the coffee he had chugged since morning came rushing up, exploding past his lips in one big bitter gush and splattering on the grass.

He sucked in air, raspy as if he had been drowning, and coughed, spitting the ropey saliva accumulating in his mouth. The storm raged on, more rain splashed on his face, caused Vince's curls to whirl around his face.

"Are you sick?!" Vince's hand, the one not on his back but holding him by the bicep, moved so he could cup Luke's forehead, pushing back his sweaty waves, "you don't have a fever, you're freezing!"

"Not-not sick..." Luke gasped, doubting Vince could hear him over the storm, before retching once more. It was unproductive, but didn't stop his stomach from contracting several times more. He tugged on the neckline of his shirt, feeling like it was suffocating him, "can't breathe."

"Shit," Vince's voice sounded like it was coming from underwater and Luke clawed at his neck, wanting to crawl out of his skin. It was not an unfamiliar feeling, the thousand little needles prickling his face and neck, the way his head was spinning and the fact his thoughts were running in circles. Vince's gonna leave me.

"Luke, Luke, hey-" Vince patted his cheek, forcing their eyes to meet and Lucas blinked quickly to get rid of the blurriness in his sight, only to realize those were tears as they ran down his cheeks to meet Vin's fingers, burning hot tears instead of the freezing raindrops, "deep breath through your nose, c'mon-" Vince mimicked a deep breath, nostrils flaring and Lucas took a second to imitate him.

"Now hold it," Vin held out his free hand, the one not cupping Luke's sick covered chin, counting from 1 to 5, "out through your mouth, slowly..."

He pushed Luke back, so his back was resting against the front door and they weren't getting slowly bathed by the rain.

The air was shaky as it made it past his lips, catching in the back of his throat as Luke let out a sob. His thoughts were scrambled, eyes still searching Vince's face for some sort of silent communication. He was making a mess out of himself-

"LUKE," Vince shook him, like a rattle toy, as he started hyperventilating again, "look at me-"

"You-you," he tried to articulate, then was interrupted by a gag. Vince frowned, his dark brows meeting in one angry caterpillar, brown eyes meeting Luke's.

"I?"

"Please don't- Don't leave," Luke choked out and the tears he had been holding back, or thought he was holding back given the ones that had already escaped, came bursting forward. It wasn't cute, it was gross sobs and snot running down his nose and his whole face swollen up as he clutched Vin's shirt like a boy, fist so tight the knuckles turned white.

"Shit," Vince tried to pull back, then melted into the hug, embracing Luke completely, "what the fuck, Luke, I'm not leaving..." Luke hadn't felt physically small ever since he was sixteen, but now he felt like a little kid as Vin's arms wrapped around him into a tight hug.

It seemed like it took forever, but was probably just about six to eight minutes, for the sobs to taper off and his breathing to calm down. The shame that took up the space of panic was just as claustrophobic and overwhelming. Luke pulled back from the hug, against his wishes, and wiped at his face. He had made a mess out of Vince's porch and out of his apology. Hell, out of all of this...

"You haven't had a panic attack in years," Vince pointed out, knee bumping with Luke's as he moved to sit facing ahead to the street, so they were side by side on the step that separated his little kitchenette from the street.

"Not true," Luke's voice was scratchy and he forced out a shuddering breath, "had one back in the waiting room when Bell had a miscarriage... But they lessened since I figured out the medicine situation, yeah."

"The medicine situation," Vince parroted and Luke flinched, twisting his hands. How large was the rift between them, really? He had told Vince about being on antidepressants, but only way after the Big Depressive Episode A.K.A Christmas had happened. He hadn't wanted Vin to think it had been his fault, because it wasn't.

"Yeah, uhm- The first meds they put me on made me super nauseated, so I stopped taking them, then I went back..." he pulled on his neckline again, averted his eyes away from the puddle of coffee being absorbed by the grass, "it's not a big deal."

"Uh-hu," Vince scoffed, rubbing his stubble, "but you're on meds now and you had a panic attack," he turned to look at Lucas, his eyes piercing the side of his face, "I'm sorry I said I-"

Luke interrupted him with a nod, ducking his chin to his chest and blowing out a little burp as his stomach churned uneasily, "yeah, I know-"

"Shut up for a second," Vince scoffed, turning so he was properly looking at him, "look at me."

Bossy, Luke thought, but obeyed. Vince's chocolate brown eyes were huge in his face, worry clouding them, "I was angry and I wanted you to hurt," he admitted, quietly, "and you were being a jerk, accusing me of cheating or like I could ever-"

"Vin-"

"-But I shouldn't have said that," Vince ignored him, speaking louder and over Luke's weak attempt to interrupt, "I knew it was going to hurt you and I said it because of it, but I shouldn't have. I didn't- I didn't realize the rift between us was so severe and I took for granted the amount of work you were putting into our friendship and I was dismissive about Max-"

"I was a jealous prick-"

"Please, let me finish," Vince glared at him, voice all thick and choked out as if there was a knot in his throat and that caused Luke to feel a stab to his chest. It was one thing to feel rejected and abandoned, so insecure in their relationship that it felt like it was easier to blow it all up, it was another thing to see Vin hurting this much. Lucas felt like an asshole for being so dramatic that they were now in this situation... "I'm sorry I said what I said," Vin mumbled, his chin wobbling, "I need you to believe me, I didn't mean it like that. I could never end our friendship, I- Fuck, Luke, I was a jerk, but this past week has been hell on Earth, I don't want us not to be friends anymore, I don't want us not to talk, I miss you-"

"Please stop," Luke all but whimpered, "I did this, I insulted you and I was jealous about Max like a fucking toddler in the playground and I- I shut you out. I blew this out of proportion and it was because I didn't want us to stop being friends and-"

"I'm moving back to Welton," Vince blurted out, interrupting his speech.

Lucas' mouth snapped closed, eyebrows jumping up and disappearing into the rain soaked chocolate waves falling over his forehead, "what?"

"I'm moving back," Vin repeated, suddenly sounding unsure and hesitant, "I- Just so you know, I decided it before we- fuck, was it even a fight? Or just us falling apart?"

Yeah, no. Luke shook his head vehemently at the idea of them falling apart, the tight grip in his chest returning.

Vince let out a heavy sigh, "I miss you," he said in a whisper, before repeating himself, louder, "I miss you, and everyone else and- And I will miss my family, Luke, so much, you have no idea how much-"

He didn't, not even remotely.

"But you're my family too," Vince finished his sentence and Luke's head snapped up, heart hiccupping in his chest, "all of you. I mean, of course I miss my girlfriend like hell, but I miss you and Bell and Leo and Jonah and my town... And you-you told me, if I stayed in Welton for Wendy, if I didn't take a chance at what I thought I wanted, I'd resent her... Well, I resent myself here, I resent not being a part of the group and I resent the distance between us and that I wasn't there for you and that you ever doubted our friendship..."

"But in Welton you're going to miss your family..." Luke argued, weakly, just because he felt like it was the proper thing to be done, when in reality he was almost dizzy with relief and selfish happiness at Vince's confession. The worm eating away at his sanity was squished under Vin's decision, the fear that the relationship wasn't reciprocal, that he was giving so much of himself to someone who was going to abandon it at the flick of a hand like his parents had.

"I know," Vince nodded, "and I'll visit, I'll visit a lot... But I can't stay here just because I'm afraid they'll have their own lives without me, instead of living my actual life, Luke. Welton is my life, you are, all of you."

It was like suddenly he could breathe.

Luke slumped to the side, giving up any pretense at control or nonchalance, collapsing fully against Vin's arm and smiling as his best friend let out a squeak and scrambled to grab him.

There was a loud thunder, a lightning bolt illuminating the whole yard.

"Don't pass out on me!"

"I'm not," Luke sighed, turning his head so he could press his nose to Vin's bicep, breathing in and out deeply, "I should not be this happy you're coming back."

"I'd be fucking wounded if you weren't," Vince scoffed, shaking with a surprised chuckle and moving so he could wrap an arm around Luke's shoulder, personal space be damned, "...Are we- are we good?"

"Yeah," Luke nodded, then turned his head up, so he could look at Vin, "are we? Are you still pissed at me?"

"Jesus, Luke, I wasn't mad at you even for a minute after I said that..." Vince sounded frustrated, "please tell me you get it, I hate feeling like we're speaking different languages. It drives me crazy."

Luke let out a huff, nodding, "we're good..." then he pulled back, a big smile on, "you told Wen you're moving back yet? Does anyone know?"

"Wendy does, of course. She's over the moon," Vince grinned, shoulders dropping as their normal dynamic creeped back in, "I told my family this past week and..." he hesitated, but Luke caught on it like a shark.

"And Max too."

Vince blushed, furiously, "and Max too," he agreed, "I just- I like the guy, it felt unfair to up and leave without explaining why I'm going... Like what I did with you guys. Can't keep repeating the same mistakes, right?"

"Right," he nodded in agreement, although Lucas thought that was horrible timing on Vin's part to start acting all mature, "how did he react?"

Vince shrugged, "he seemed fine," he sighed, thumping Luke's back, "let's go back inside and you can tell me everything else I missed."

Easy like that, they were back in synchrony.

[petertingle-yipyip]

WORLD CLASS SINNER - FRANK CASTLE

three - haunted

tags: n/a // two // four // masterlist

Pairing: Billy x Livia , Frank x Livia

Word Count: 7,033

Summary: Can’t breathe, can’t turn back. Livia continues to walk the fragile line of her morality while finding an uneasy comfort in the presence of Billy Russo, despite being haunted by Matt Murdock’s memory. But reuniting with Frank Castle makes it little less miserable.

You stayed with Frank at Lieberman’s hideout for the night. You thought you would maybe sleep better if you stayed somewhere outside of your bedroom. It had worked well enough at Quantico so maybe it was just about the scenery.

Only it didn’t make a difference. The emptiness had grown too big, grown too demanding. It would swallow you up a little more with every beat of your heart that continued to mimic the explosion. Even in sleep, you had no real escape from the memories.

You shot up from the space you were in, sitting on the bed against the wall and leaning against Frank. You glanced over and saw he was still asleep so as quietly as you could, you climbed out of the small bed and wandered towards the back door you had been coming in and out of.

You used the rickety ladder to climb up to the roof and you sat on the AC unit, taking in the view of the city. The crisp air felt like it would calm the heat within you, but it only made it tolerable. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath when you heard another body coming up the ladder.

You reached for your gun and saw it was only Frank with two beers in hand.

“Could’ve shot you.” You joked as he came and sat beside you, offering you one of the bottles.

“I would’ve let you.” He returned the joke and you smiled slightly. “What are you doing out here anyway?”

You used your knife to pop the cap off and passed the blade to Frank. You looked at the city for a minute longer while you thought about what you wanted to say. He tapped your leg with the handle of your knife and you snapped back to focus to take it.

“How long do the nightmares last?” You asked softly, holding the bottle by the neck and swirling it slightly. It almost felt wrong to admit that your mind was in shambles, but if anyone would understand without judgment, you were talking to him.

“What?”

“After the carousel… How long until you stopped dreaming about it?”

“Honestly?” He blew out a sigh and shook his head slightly. “I haven’t.”

“Oh.” You took a swig of the beer and nearly spit it out. “God, this is awful. And I thought Matt liked cheap beer.” You laughed and covered your mouth with the back of your hand.

Frank laughed with you before drinking the beer and having a similar reaction, coughing roughly and setting the bottle down with a sound of disgust. He turned over to you, still coming down from your laughter, and the expression he wore was one of worry.

“You wanna talk about it?” He said simply and you felt something sharp against the center of your chest, vaguely familiar to the tip of Elektra’s weapon from your dream. It made you rub the area with your knuckles.

“Did you hear about that imploded building a few months back? Midland circle?” You began, feeling the thump of your emotions at the center of your chest slowly replacing the sharp sensation. Beating in place of where your heart normally was, or maybe that was your heart and you just hadn’t felt it beat in so long. “Well, we were there. Us and a few other people. We were up against those ninjas. You remember the ones you helped a little against on that rooftop?”

He nodded, fully attentive to your words, so you continued.

“It turned out that my friend who died on that roof, they were able to bring her back with some magic ritual. I don’t even really know… But she wasn’t herself and she was gonna kill us. I decided to blow the building and literally crush their whole organization under it. We were hundreds of feet deep, somewhere around three hundred I think. No one was going to survive that. It wasn’t gonna be clean but it would be quick and it’d be final. But while we were down there, someone up top set the timer too early… When it came down to it, Matt decided to - of course - be a hero and stay down there to make sure no one got out… I tried to stop him but he decided to pull a cheap trick and distract me so I was literally dragged out of that building. And I got to watch it collapse from the outside…”

“Shit, Livia. Why didn’t you call me or something?”

“Would you have answered?” You countered sadly. “Besides, I didn’t really wanna face anyone after that.”

You could almost feel the water from when you thought of drowning yourself climbing back up your throat.

“I lost myself that night, y’know? And it felt pathetic.” You gave a small laugh. “It felt like the thing that made me human was just gone. I didn’t care about anything or anyone, and to be honest, I still don’t really. And that’s not to say that everything was dependent on Matt but he made it easier. He made it worth it…”

“You seemed different today than yesterday.” Frank explained while you drank the shitty beer. “Like some of that was back, at least for a second.”

“Probably just from…” You trailed off, realizing that you were going to credit Billy for your alleged reignition.

“From…” Frank led and you sighed.

“I’ve been seeing a couple guys, casually, just to kinda keep my mind off it.” You waved him off but he shot you an incredulous look. “Okay, don’t look at me like that.”

“Guys?” He asked defensively. “How many are you seein’?”

“Two.” You shrugged.

“Jesus…” He shook his head. “Alright, who are they?”

“What? I need your blessing now?”

“No, but if some dickhead wants to try something, I should know whose head I gotta crack open.”

“Actually, you do know one of them.” You mumbled into the bottle and you’d rather swallow the poor excuse of a beer than say his name. “...billyrusso…”

“Wha-” He scoffed in disbelief. “Y’know what, I don’t even think I wanna know.”

“Okay….” You said innocently with a small shrug.

“Jesus Christ, Livia.” He ran a hand down his face and you frowned slightly. “Are you sure you should be doing that?”

“It’s nothing serious with either of them.” You defended. “It’s just…. One’s charming and it’s comfortable. He says everything I need to hear. They respect me and give me space when I need it, call when they say they will. But..”

“But?”

“But I miss screaming at him and fighting with him.” You laughed in defeat with a small shrug. “Back when it was 2 am and I was cursing that damn costume.”

“The kinda love that makes you act all kinds of nuts.” Frank continued, his tone noticeably gentler than moments ago.

“Literally made me act insane. That’s the way I loved him... I never knew I could feel that much till I met Matt. It was really nice.”

“Yeah, you two were made for each other… I gotta say, Liv, I just can’t see you with anyone else.”

“Yeah, and I’m not. They can’t see that I’m faking the smiles or that I’m not really feeling anything. Sure, it’s a little easier but it’s not like I’m falling in love again… I don’t know, maybe I keep ‘em around because they’re nothing like Matt. It can’t hurt or make me feel guilty if there’s no similarities…”

“Hey..” Frank said after a minute of silence. “I’m sorry about Murdock… I know it feels like shit.”

You set the bottle down and scooted back enough to give your feet room so you can hug your knees to your chest.

“I always thought I would die first cause I liked to think I was invincible… But the way I felt when I lost Matt, I felt absolutely helpless. I felt useless. I wanted to die, too… I even prayed to his God, trying to make a deal to swap our places. But every morning, I woke up in that goddamned bed from that same fucking nightmare.”

“Mine’s almost always the same.” Frank said absently, seemingly a hundred miles away now. “Maria wakes me up. It’s that morning before we went out after I got back… It’s real nice and sweet, y’know? And I’m not even out of bed before she gets shot. Lately though, it’s been… I’m the one pulling the trigger.”

“In mine, my friend puts a sai through my chest while Matt holds me down. They’re both dead by then. Like bloated corpses you find at the bottom of the river. They tell me that if I wanted to die with them, then I should… Once Matt killed me and he said ‘Why are you making me do this?’... I woke up hysterical that morning.”

“You two ever end up tying the knot?” He asked instead, veering the subject away from the dreams.

“No, but I did find this.” You reached under the collar of your shirt and under the neckline of the vest to pull out a silver chain. On it sat a silver band, engraved with his last name. You unclipped the chain and carefully passed it over. “Not exactly an engagement ring but…”

“Maybe it is.” Frank nodded as he inspected the ring. “Prolly figured you didn’t want something flashy so he got you something personal.”

“Yeah, makes sense.” You offered a small smile as he handed it back and you clipped it back into place, tucking the ring safely back under.

“Besides, can’t have two vigilantes in the same neighborhood with matching rings.”

“I only found the one… I don’t know if he had one for himself.”

“Bet he did.” He nodded. “Probably took it with him.”

“I couldn’t bury him or even have a service for him. Father Lantom couldn’t say anything about him or Foggy couldn’t give a eulogy.” You choked, and if you tried hard enough, you heard the explosion in your words. “To the world, Matt Murdock is out there somewhere. But to me, he’s buried under literal tons of debris.”

“C’mere.” He put an arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his side. You felt a shiver creep down your spine and your skin grew cold for a moment, the only sensation to diminish the burn in your bones. “I know it hurts like hell, and I know you wanna do anything but deal with it. But I can’t have you here if you’re looking for a distraction. That’s gonna get you killed and I can’t let that happen.”

“I’m okay.” You nodded, though the echoing rumbles in your chest told a different story. “I just don’t talk about it much so the little I do gets to me. I know what I’m doing, Frank. I promise.”

“If you say so.” He agreed reluctantly.

“I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“Someone has to.” He joked and you elbowed his ribs slightly.

It was clear, without your abilities, that he didn’t believe you. And truthfully, you didn’t even believe yourself. All you knew for a fact were the explosions and the emptiness, and both were relentless. All you could do was avoid them, feed them by necessity and try to continue living. You knew it wasn’t the life Matt would’ve wanted for you, a life as cold and desolate as you had created. He would’ve wanted you to move on, to love and live like you had done before. But without him, knowing that he was gone in such an absolute way, it diminished the quality of any potential life. You never considered the after, because there was never supposed to be such a thing.

Of course, you knew you’d both die eventually, but it was supposed to be you first. Or at the very least, you two going out together. Never did you think you’d be alone, living in a post-Matt world that only a handful of people could acknowledge. You worried, if only for a moment, about whether the girl that Matt knew - that he fell in love with - would ever return, but the idea of that and the idea of her was swallowed by the rift in your chest. Swallowed up by the darkness, only a faint echo remained. Her return would depend on your intent to bring her back. She would need your lifeline to get to her, but any rope you could extend would never reach.

You let her fall away, let her disappear into the darkest part of yourself. You weren’t that girl. You weren’t the vigilante he knew either. Instead, you were oh-so-reminiscent of the Widow you were raised to be. Blunt, heartless, cruel, calculating, plotting, cautious, confident. You were everything except apologetic or gentle. You were supposed to be the hero in the story you had written for yourself in the Kitchen, but from a perspective outside of your body, you watched yourself shift closer and closer to being the villain.

And - arguably - the worst part was that you liked it. So you let Livia slip away, let her rest somewhere beneath the explosions and the burning. Somewhere beneath Midland.

“We’re seriously outgunned.” You commented after a little while of silence.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing..” Frank agreed.

“I might know a guy.” You two said at the same time.

Frank offered you a smirk before nodding for you to go first. You hopped off the AC and climbed down to the ground with Frank following close behind. You two headed down to your car and you drove over to the usual location your guy was at. He wasn’t anyone you had worked with or even one of your contacts. He was a guy that Matt had run into a few times and you had been keeping tabs on, just because the man always seemed to be involved in someone’s business.

He was just locking up when you two showed up, fully dawning your new vest for the first time.

“Hi, Turk.” You gave a tight smile as your accent tinted your words before you slammed your elbow against his jaw. “Let’s head inside.”

He groaned and struggled as you pinned an arm behind his back, tossing Frank the key ring. You pressed the man face-first against the opposing door while Frank opened the door. You shoved Turk inside, Frank following right after. You entered last and slammed the door shut behind you. You kicked the bulky plug at Turk for the light and squinted through the yellow glow until your eyes focused.

“Man! The hell is this?” Turk complained before you pushed him by his chest so he hit the metal wall again.

“You think because the Devil is gone, that you can start this shit again, hmm?” You spoke simply, the familiar accent sticking to your words like a tick. But without the mask, what good did it do? You realized why as the bitter taste settled in your mouth. At that point, you did it because it scared people and you liked that. “It’s about time we finally met, don’t you think?”

“Aw shit.” He exclaimed quietly before offering you a pleading expression. “Listen, I’m just a guy trying to make a living. You know how many jobs are out there for ex-cons? Ain’t jack shit coming my way.”

“Unless we ask you something, shut your mouth or I take out your teeth.” You warned sharply.

“You got part of a weapons shipment from the Greeks. Where is it?” Frank asked, yanking Turk off the wall and pressing his gun to the back of his head.

“Greeks dicked me.” Turk answered shakily. “Should’ve guessed, right, with a name like Turk? Maybe they didn’t know I was black.”

“Hilarious.” You rolled your eyes. “Where is it?”

“It was too much weight for me. They found someone else who could take the whole load. High-tech shit ain’t easy to sell, man.”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know.”

Frank pressed the gun harder and the arms dealer whimpered. You almost felt bad... Almost.

“I mean- I-“ He stammered. “I got some stuff. It ain’t much.”

“Show me.”

Frank let Turk lead you two over to one of the corner cases. You leaned down to open it but Frank stuck his foot out to block you. He pushed Turk down to do it, who muttered complaints as he did.

“The hell is that?” Frank said as the bright pink gun stared back.

You almost laughed.

“It’s cute.” You teased, earning a glare from Frank. “Suits you.”

He offered you a sarcastic expression while Turk explained its origin and his policy on carrying ammo. However, the answers weren’t good enough for Frank so he pressed the gun forward again. While Turk tried to talk his way out of a headshot, you gripped your friend’s wrist and shot a stern look at him.

“No.” You mouthed and his brows furrowed. “We gain nothing.”

You watched his eyes dart between yours as he searched again for something. It made you a bit uneasy, to know there was some part of you that Frank could see no matter how you hid things away. No matter what was swallowed by the gap in your chest, Frank could find what should be there. You hated it but maybe you needed it.

Maybe Livia needed it.

“… isn’t on me, swear to God.” Turk finished, kissing three fingers and raising them to the ceiling.

“God..” You laughed mockingly. “You believe in God, Turk?”

“Right now I want to.”

You and Frank maintained your stare down until he eventually broke with a muttered response. You turned to Turk and spiked his fear until he passed out. From there, you and Frank raided the shipping container and found nothing. Frank commented on the vest, saying he liked the shirt better and you flipped him off for it.

That shirt wasn’t yours. It belonged to Exodus, to the Devil’s partner. Not whoever you were.

Back at the hideaway, Frank and Lieberman argued about the quality of the intel and the lack of real information from the NYPD.

“Find that shipment.” You pointed a stern finger at Lieberman. “You don’t or can’t and I’ve got a borrowed handgun that I’ll kill you with myself. Понимаешь?” (Understand?)

Frank looked over at you and you gave a small wave of goodbye. You headed back to your car, a hand slipping under the collar to fiddle with the ring before you drove back to your cold apartment. You saw your phone had a couple messages, both Billy and Dex hinting at a night out, but you continued to ignore them.

You knew you wouldn’t be any fun.

The next day, you had a message from Billy. He was asking to come into Anvil, said there was a bigger group of recruits coming in and he needed your help. With no other plans, you went. You went without your vest or protection, only a badge at your hip and a gun at your back. You hadn’t thought about getting a number for Frank or Lieberman, but you figured they’d reach out if they needed you. Or Frank would go through Karen to get to you. Either way, you couldn’t sit there and twiddle your thumbs until Lieberman could make good on his intel on the Greeks.

You walked into Anvil’s headquarters and were greeted with enthusiastic smiles or waves. You offered kind enough responses as you headed down the familiar halls to find Billy in the main room with a group bigger than you anticipated. You blew out a small sigh to release some of the growing tension and pulled your hair up before entering the room.

Small murmurs ran through the crowd upon your entrance but you ignored them. You took your usual place, a few feet behind the small runway Billy liked to pace during his introductory speech and in front of the other instructors. Your eyes scanned the crowd for anything that stuck out. Some hesitant body language, uncertain hands, shifty feet. Untrusting eyes, some darting away when they met yours and others offered a challenge. Some interest in your presence, most enthralled in Billy’s words. But a face, a younger boy from Curtis’ group, seemed to actively be avoiding eye contact as Billy began weaving through the crowd. He knew you were there, knew you’d recognize him. Something about that scared him, and that had your interest.

“Here at Anvil, if you are recruited…” He announced, finally catching sight of your appearance. “And that lies in the hands of our Talent Assessment and Training Specialist.” He held a hand out to you with a small smirk and you nodded in response.

You heard small comments about the badge at your hip but when you turned your head towards the source, eyes dropped and they sidestepped to be behind the person in front of them. You laughed to yourself and shook your head in disappointment.

“If you are recruited-” You spoke simply, your head held high as the eyes of the crowd all lifted towards you. “-you will have the chance to find the something that you’ve been missing.”

“A new brotherhood to call your own, something to fight for.” Billy continued. “To live for, even.”

“It won’t be easy.” You added. “I expect you all to push yourselves and each other. Try to impress me.”

“Good luck, everyone… You’ll need it.” Billy nodded and motioned for you to follow him to the side.

He gave you the rundown of the day, what stations would be running, and what general plans he had. You nodded absently, knowing it would more or less be the same plan as usual. But when he noticed you weren’t fully listening, the conversation shifted.

“What’d you see?” He asked instead.

“Hmm?” Your brows raised.

“With the group.” He smiled slightly. “Something stood out, didn’t it?”

“Most of them won’t respect me.” You said simply. “They were muttering comments since I walked in, won’t look me in the eyes.”

His head tilted back and forth as if in thought. “So make ‘em respect you. It’s never been a problem for you before.” He shrugged slightly. “Just maybe don’t break anything.”

“Yeah, no promises.” You shrugged in return and his smile earned one from you. You cursed yourself for it. “There was one kid that I recognized.”

“Good way?”

You pulled a face and reached for his arm to turn him towards the group that was getting broken down by one of the other staff members. You gave a small point towards the boy whose name you never could remember.

“I’d talk to Curtis about that one.” You answered. “He goes to group.”

“That worry you?”

“Get Curtis’ opinion first. Then we can talk about it.”

“I hate when you do that!” He complained though you were already heading towards the group.

You were working through the fitness trials with one of the other instructors when one of the men said something that scraped a nerve. You had been pointing things out for him to make note of - when they hit failure and what weights they were working with - when the snide comment seemed to snap something in you.

“She’s only here cause she’s hot.” He said to one of the men beside him and both chuckled before high-fiving each other.

“Hey!” You called out before a sharp whistle. “Wanna say that to my face?”

“C’mon.” He scoffed, hands out to the side. “We’re all thinkin’ it... You’re a total babe and it’s the only reason you’re the one who makes the calls. Might as well own it.”

“You sure know how to talk in front of all your friends.” You laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. “I bet, in your little head, you’re a big tough man, right?”

He opened his mouth to speak with a grin, shoulders lifting in a shrug.

“But in reality, I could put you on your ass without trying.” You cut in and the other recruits around offered a sound effect to punctuate the comment. “Put you right in your place.”

The instructor beside you stepped away while radiating a mild panic. The sensation brought a smirk to your lips as you uncliped your badge and pulled your gun. You handed them to the man beside you, who rushed a quiet attempt to get you to change your mind, but you were already moving forward. You gestured for the recruit to come closer and he did so with a proud smile.

“Look, I don’t wanna hurt you.” He said with a smug grin as the crowd began to tighten. “I served for a long time.”

“I wouldn’t stress about it.” You shrugged. “But it is ironic. You say all this shit in public but you want so bad to fuck me.”

“What?” His eyes went wide.

“The way you’ve been looking at me, the comments you make. All that noise when truthfully, you’re just a shitty guy with a fragile ego.”

The man chuckled and nodded as if to show a hesitant agreement but it was easy for you to tell that he was looking forward to the opportunity. You rolled your eyes as he exaggerated a routine of popping his knuckles and neck before gesturing for you to take the first hit.

You simply folded your hands behind your back.

With a small sneer, he made the first move. He threw a hard cross that you sidestepped, his momentum causing him to stumble forward. You dropped to kneel and used your shoulder to knock his knee from under him and the man fell to his back with a heavy thud. You scooted forward and placed a knee on his throat, though you were careful to keep your weight in the foot you had against the ground. You felt his hands on your leg to push you off so you moved first and rolled off, pushing yourself to your feet before repositioning your hands behind you.

The crowd molded and adjusted to where your little spat was going, widening and sliding as you two moved. You took a second to glance over to where Billy would sometimes watch from and saw he was distracted by a conversation with another instructor across the room. Before you could turn back, you felt a tight grip on your upper arm and were yanked back.

Your feet stumbled slightly but you gave no indication that it would benefit him. Instead, you calmly got your feet under you as you felt the arm creep around your neck. As the crowd engulfed you again, you shifted your arms to have your elbows sticking out. You jerked to the side roughly and your elbow slammed into the soft spot on the man’s side. You jabbed him again and again until his grip on you slipped. You stepped forward to give yourself room to land a firm kick to the center of his chest. He fell to his back with another loud smack and he coughed roughly with a hand against his chest as he scooted away from you.

He swung his feet desperately to knock you down and admittedly, it worked. His foot caught your ankle and knocked it in front of the foot you were stepping with so you fell forward, barely able to get your hands in front to stop you from crashing to your face. You had to throw an arm up quickly as his heel came towards your face. He kicked out again and again, your own forearm thumping against your head.

By then, you heard Billy’s voice echoing through the room.

The sound made him hesitant so you took advantage. You pushed yourself up enough and got to a kneel before you grabbed his extended ankle. He shot you a panicked look before you twisted him around so he laid on his face, his leg bent at an uncomfortable angle. Your foot pressed at the base of his hip and you felt the tension as his muscles tried to keep his leg in its socket. You twisted slightly and looked down to see the unnatural angle his knee was twisted at. He reached backward and you used the other foot to slam onto his wrist, earning a sharp cry of pain.

“Go ahead.” You taunted, having to consciously keep your accent out of your words. “Tell me again why I’m here.”

“This isn’t what I meant.” Billy said, a hand suddenly around your arm. “Let him go.”

“Don’t you wanna know what he said to me?” You challenged sharply, giving another tug on the leg that earned a scream. “Or better yet, what he wants to do to me.”

“C’mon, Livs.”

The man whimpered out a pathetic apology and pleaded for you not to hurt him. Only when he was legitimately scared and powerless did you let go.

“Hmm.” You hummed and dropped the man’s leg. You stepped over him and let Billy guide you away from the crowd. You turned over your shoulder and saw a few men helping him to his feet. “I don’t like him.”

“Consider him gone.” Billy nodded, his hand changing to sit on your lower back. “Let’s talk about it, alright?”

Once you two got to his office, he pulled your badge and gun from under his jacket. He handed them over to you and you quickly put them back into place.

“I’m so sick and fucking tired of being treated like this.” You complained, pacing the office space. “If I was a man, I’d be a fearless leader, an alpha type and I wouldn’t have them coming after me again and again and again. Every - fucking - where I go some guy who’s all bark, no bite has some stupid about me or my career.”

“You can’t just go after the ones you don’t like.” Billy reasoned and you turned on him quickly with a burning glare.

“You do realize why they think they can talk to me like that, right?” You said simply, despite the anger burning at the center of your throat begging to be released as a yell. “You could go out there and brag about bedding a new model every night, show off all the money in the world, and literally anything else you want.”

“It’s not about me, Livia. Any ideas they have of you are their own. You know I wouldn’t-“

“Oh but if I did it-“ You cut in and your voice began to rise. “If I was the one flashing my money, I’d be a bitch. They say that you hustled and put in the work, but it’s all about what I’m wearing and if I was rude or not.” You continued angrily, that burning heat clawing through your muscles to the point that your hands started to tremble.

“I’m not saying those guys weren’t wrong, alright?” His hands raised in concession while you crossed your arms. “But-“

“What’s it like when no one second guesses your worth?”

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“No, seriously.” You laughed in frustration. “They’re painting me out to be the bad guy, so it’s okay that I’m pissef off right now! Don’t try to downplay this, Billy!”

“I’m not, okay?” He carefully came around the desk and put his hands on your shoulders. “They were out of line. They’re done, alright? But what happened out there, that’s not about respect. That’s just fear.”

“Hmm.” You lifted your head slightly, a challenge glistening in your eyes. “Maybe I'd rather be feared.”

“Livia..” He sighed.

“Are you afraid of me?” You asked, genuinely curious. While as of late, you enjoyed being feared, some fragile little part of you hoped he wasn’t.

“No.” He offered a small smile.

Suddenly, you thought of the way Foggy flinched away from you. How Karen looked at you as if you were something out of a Stephen King novel.

“Maybe you should be.”

“Where is this coming from?”

You shrugged slightly. “I should go.”

“You’re gonna be like that with me, too?”

“It’s like you aren’t even listening.” You said simply, backing towards the door. “You don’t try to argue with me. You just give me what I ask for. It’s all kinda new to me.”

“And you don’t like it?”

You paused, thinking about it for a moment. It was all new with Billy, to notice him sneaking through hard-standing walls. Only to kick him out as soon as you realize, just for him to find a new way in. He was relentless in that way, a subtle pursuit that was unexpectedly understanding. Letting him in meant letting go of Matt to make room for him, and you couldn’t do that. Not then, maybe not ever.

Despite the pain in memories of Matt, he was the tether to your humanity. To Livia, to the woman you were meant to be. You knew if you lost that, you’d be no better than a nameless Widow. A faceless assassin that killed anyone in her way. A weapon, with no heart or soul or remorse. You may not care to be that person without him, but that didn’t mean you wanted her completely gone. Just a background voice in your head, a small tick on the scales of your morality that kept you from becoming someone you wouldn’t recognize.

“I don’t know.”

You were turning to leave when Curtis walked in.

“Hey.” He said with a smile that quickly faded. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just gotta take off.” You answered easily.

“Well, hang on.” Billy cut in. “Now that we’re all here, let’s talk about the kid you’re worried about.”

“I really should go.” You shot Billy a glare.

“You’re worried about Lewis too?” Curtis asked you and you cursed quietly.

“Yeah, I told Billy to get your opinion.” You confessed. “It just doesn’t feel like a good fit for him here but you know him better than I do.”

“He’s living in a foxhole in his yard, Billy.” Curtis explained, moving deeper into the room to stand by Billy and leaving the doorway open. You had half a mind to leave but also wanted to ensure the kid didn’t make the cut. So instead, you stood on Billy’s other side. “And he almost put a bullet in his father.”

“Hell, who hasn’t wanted to do that?” Billy joked and you elbowed him in the ribs. “Maybe he just needs to get back into it. Kid wants to live in a tent, I can give that to him.”

“You won’t be doing him or yourself any favors if you put him in combat situations.” Curtis continued. “If I was out there, I wouldn’t want that kid watching my six.”

“I wouldn’t either... I’d rather go at it alone.” You shrugged.

“A team’s only as good as its weakest link.”

“You two think this one’ll snap?” Billy asked, looking between you two.

“Yeah.” You answered, watching Lewis through the office windows. Even from there, you could feel the unstable waves of his emotions. Crashing and rising, falling and shaking. “Just a matter of time.”

“So what happens when I cut him loose?” He turned to Curtis.

“You do your part, I’ll do mine.”

“Why ask for a consult if you weren’t gonna listen to us?” You challenged gently. “It’s just not worth it. Besides, let’s say you don’t listen to us and take him anyways. If something goes wrong, it’s your reputation that goes down.”

“Alright.” He nodded. “You’re coming with me.”

“No, I should g-“

“Let’s go, Pretty Lady.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and led you out, despite your grumbled complaints.

“Wilson!” You called out when you two got to the ground and Billy’s arm fell away. “Can we talk to you?”

“Of course.” He hurried over and you took a few more steps to the side.

“Lewis, right?” You began and he nodded. “Do you remember me? I go to group with Curtis sometimes.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded.

“You can just call me Livia.” You smiled politely.

“What’s with the foxhole in your backyard, Lewis?” Billy asked plainly and you shot him a look.

“Uh..” He glanced around nervously. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I gotta know what’s going on with all my guys. Lives depend on it, you know?”

“It was a… a project.” Lewis answered hesitantly. “Something to keep me busy.”

“Please don’t lie to us.” You said plainly, though enough edge to show you were serious. “It’s not that simple, is it?”

His eyes fell to the floor, almost in shame.

“And what do you figure the other guys would think?” Billy continued. “If I told them the guy watching their backs was living like that?”

“It’s nothing, sir. I’m fine.” He insisted.

“No, you’re not.” You cut in. “And that’s okay.”

Saying that nearly made you gag when you heard it. That was the same stupid line other people used on you and you never believed it either.

“Listen, this business… It’s all based on trust. I take her into the field-“ He gestured to you. “-I know she’s gonna have my back, right? Nothing to worry about. And those guys need that same feeling.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, man. I can’t take that risk.”

He nodded slightly, using the end of his sleeve to wipe the growing tears. You frowned slightly and almost found yourself wanting to comfort him. Instead, you folded your hands behind your back.

“Was this..” He looked at you. “Was this Curtis?”

“We check in on all prospects.” You answered honestly. “He had a conversation with me too about what he found before I got the job.”

“For just this kinda thing.” Billy added. “ It’s got nothing to do with Curtis.”

“Are you saying it wasn’t him?”

“I suggest you watch the tone, Wilson.” You warned and Billy’s hand tapped the back of your shoulder. A quiet way of telling you it was alright.

“I’m saying that it doesn’t matter.” Billy answered smoothly.

“I don’t believe you. He told me not to come here and then he spikes me. He’s a goddamn snake.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Easy.” Billy cut in and your hands balled into fists. “I don’t know you, kid. Now, Curtis Hoyle, he saved my ass on more than one occasion. One of the best men I ever had the fortune of serving with.”

“What about her?” He gestured to you. “She goes to that group, same as me.”

“It isn’t about who goes to group.” You shook your head.

“She was working for me before she started going. Besides, that’s not what it’s about, nor is it your business who I employ.” Billy added, and you had to admit, something was comforting about him defending you.

Stop that.

“If you need work, Lewis, we can find a place for you around here.” You offered, hoping to talk around the man’s rising temper.

“You’re gonna give me a job mopping floors?” He spat sharply, clearly too angry to listen. “Emptying trash? Is that ‘making good on the investment my country made in me’?” He threw Billy’s words back at him and Billy didn’t have an answer.

“You’re just another liar in command.” Lewis continued.

“Okay.” You said firmly. “We’re done here. You need to leave. Of your own accord or I can personally escort you out. Up to you.”

Lewis released a shaky breath before stepping forward and lifting his chin in challenge. Your arms unwrapped themselves and sat at your sides, fingers twitching with the promise of another fight. You noticed the shift in Billy’s body language as well, but his hand moved over slightly in front of you to keep you in place.

“Now.” Billy added firmly.

He looked between the two of you in contemplation and you rolled your eyes to yourself. You focused in and found his anger, his willingness to fight. You pushed it away from you two and raised the hesitation of standing against you two. You added in on the fear of what you two were capable of and he backed off.

He ranted on his way out, trash-talking the brotherhood Billy talked about, and even spat on the floor. You wanted to react but knew there were too many eyes on you. Instead, you decided to blow off steam with whatever Frank was up to. You told Billy you just needed to calm down and you’d call him later. He offered you a nice dinner but sitting in a restaurant in a fancy dress wasn’t exactly going to help.

Instead, you went home and got out of your work clothes. You switched to a long-sleeved compression top, which happened to be black with red seams. You grumbled slightly about how even in death the Devil haunted you. You stood in front of the closed doors that hid the remains of your suit. The rumbles in your chest banged loudly, slamming against your ribs with enough force to rock through your bones. You took a deep breath and yanked the doors open, ignoring the echoing in your chest.

You ignored Matt’s chest and went right to your collection of equipment. You found your original mask, with the stained red cracked lens, along with its’ replacement that was caked with the blood of Hand members. Looking at the second mask also held the memory of Elektra’s first death, Matt’s miraculous save when you were thrown from the hospital window, fighting Kitchen Irish beside Matt and Frank. You wanted to snap it in half.

Instead, you shoved your original into your waistband and adjusted your shirt to hide it fully. You tucked a knife into the top of each boot and stuck a gun at your back. Your wrists felt bare without your Bites, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to want to find them. So off you went, tugging down the seams of your sleeves in an attempt to hide the exposed joint, and went off to the hole in the wall Frank was currently camping at.

[dalmascan-requiem]

Lente's Hymn: Resistance - Chapter 6

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Perhaps it takes one to know one, or perhaps someone just needs to state the obvious.

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Read on AO3 or keep reading after the jump

content warnings: none

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >

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Lord, someone get through to my idiot boys, please

Also Cid totally did this to Nero and he's a bit like "oh gods I'm not letting this happen again", this is a CidxNero divorced dads household

"You've been around camp for a while now. What happened?"

Laurent looked up from cleaning his gunblade, and tsked at the Garlean staring down at him. "You. What do you want?"

"I have a name, you know–"

"I didn't ask for it."

"Well, you're certainly agreeable company, aren't you?"

Laurent frowns as he sets down a few gears in a huff. "What do I need to do for you to leave me alone, Cid?"

"Oh, so you do know my name! I'm touched." Cid sat across from Laurent, an obnoxiously bright smile on his face. Hells, what is with this man?

"You're in a good mood for someone whose pupil has been abducted."

Cid's smile falters slightly. "You can be as rude as you want, I'm not leaving until we chat."

There's only one reason he'd be so interested in me, of all people… Laurent glares at Cid for a moment longer, before sighing and wiping the grease off his hands. "...Fine. Not as if I'm doing anything else."

Cid nods, then turns away slightly, staring at a spot on a tent. "No one knows anything about Kris. It's always been more than being a private person–if anyone tried to ask about him, he'd always steer the conversation elsewhere. Or just silently glared until they went away. I wonder where he learned that from…"

Laurent rolls his eyes, and Cid chuckles before continuing. "I… know a bit more about Kris, though it wasn't on purpose. When Livia Junius came to Eorzea–"

"Livia? The Witch of Dalmasca?" Laurent doesn't raise his voice, but anger is writ plain on his face.

Cid nods gravely. "When she came to Eorzea… she captured the leaders of the Scions… and killed the rest. Kris was away on a mission when the attack happened, but when he returned…" He shook his head. "Eventually, the two fought as Eorzea pushed against the Garleans. When he confronted her, Kris had forgotten about our linkpearl, and mentioned the Barheim Incident and the comrades he lost…"

"...She's dead, then?"

"Yes. Good riddance." Cid gives a frustrated wave before continuing. "Anyway, he asked me not to tell anyone about him being Dalmascan, and I'm no fool–I wasn't about to face the wrath of the Warrior of Light by sharing an easily kept secret.

"But I felt for Kris. It was clear this whole business of saving the world weighed heavily on him. Nor did it help when the Eorzean Alliance turned against him, and he saw more of his allies killed. Those grieving are quick to point fingers at the person they think should have stopped it…" 

Cid frowned, though there was a hint of sadness to it. "I tried to offer what support I could, not only on the behalf of the Ironworks but… well, as a friend. He was always reluctant to take the latter, though."

Laurent sighs softly, crossing his arms. Eir, you've gotten stronger… you pretended not to care, but you always tried to protect those you cared about. But you always took it so hard when you couldn't. It's little wonder then… He thought back to their reunion, and how Kris said the lies were to protect Laurent–and remembered the pain he failed to hide in his eyes, the pain he ignored when swept up in his own emotions.

"Why do you think you're here?" Cid's pointed question brought Laurent out of his ruminations. "Here at camp, cleaning your gunblade and counting inventory instead of being on the frontlines? You're clearly capable of holding your own out there."

Laurent knitted his brow. "I thought he was upset I didn't make it in time to save Mikoto…"

"Well, Kris was upset, but not at you. He blames himself. He always does." Cid's expression is a mix of sadness and exasperation. "He just doesn't want the same to happen to you. He doesn't want to see you hurt."

Laurent looks at Cid and gives a frustrated sigh. "I understand, I do, but–"

"Would you have done anything different?"

"...What?" 

"If it were Kris that was at risk of being hurt, and you had the power to stop it, even if it meant leaving him or making him hate you… Would you do it?"

Laurent's eyes widen and he quickly breaks Cid's gaze. Would I…? I already did… at the village… He clutched at a crossed arm with his hand, staring at the rings on his fingers.

"Seems I've hit a pain point. I won't pry." 

Gods, this man, he's so strange… Why does he care so much? "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I had some similar issues, and the two of you are idiots that'll never talk to each other. I'm just pushing things along so I don't have to keep watching you two squabble. It's annoying." 

Laurent almost snaps back at the Garlean, but stops and chuckles instead. He sounds just like Gemna used to. She wasn't wrong…

Cid raises an eyebrow. "Not quite the reaction I expected from you."

"Ah, it's just… you reminded me of someone. My old mentor." Laurent shakes his head, then picks up one of the gunblade's gears again, wiping it carefully with a cloth. "...Thank you, for caring about Kris."

"That's what friends are for, are they not?" Cid looks at Laurent through the side of his eye. "Even ones that are incredibly rude whenever you talk to them."

Laurent rolled his eyes as he began cleaning another gear. "You're the one that bothered me."

"...How in the hells anyone puts up with you is a mystery–"

A sudden commotion cuts Cid's retort off, and they both look towards the soldiers rushing past. Strange, what's happening? It can't be an attack, it's too calm…

"Best see what's happening this time." Cid stands up, stretching his back as he looks back at Laurent. "You coming?"

"I suppose I must." Looking at the disassembled gunblade with annoyance, he stands up and heads to the command tent.

~~~

"Settle down, everyone!"

Kris cast tired eyes over the gaggle of soldiers at the command tent. Word spreads fast… He could hear some of them talking about how the 'southern front is won' and how it was 'time to retake the Castrum'. It's about time, really.

These past few weeks have been a blur for the Warrior of Light. The battles were nigh neverending, but he managed to carve a path through the Garlean forces and secured a route to Castrum Lacus Litore. We'll be there soon, Mikoto. Just hang on a little longer.

Something catches Kris's eye, and he turns his gaze to spot fuchsia eyes staring at him from the crowd… and a mess of silver hair right next to him. Godsdamnit Cid, what did you do this time?

"Alright, listen up!" Bajsaljen's voice cuts through the chattering, and the soldiers fall silent to listen to their leader. "It was hard-fought, but the time has finally come–it's time to drive the Garleans out of the Alermuc Fortress and free the Southern Front from their tyranny!"

Kris keeps a straight face as cheer rings out from the crowd. Hard-fought for who, exactly…?

"Tomorrow, at dawn, we lay siege to the castrum. Make your preparations now, and get some rest. Dismissed."

The soldiers quickly disperse, eager to prepare for the assault. Kris sighs. I can't shake this exhaustion, but soon… Once Mikoto's safe, he'll rest. Surely, the Resistance can keep it together a day or two without him. First, though…

He quickly scans the crowd again, and spotting Laurent, he works his way around the soldiers to him. "Blade Elja."

"I–Yes?" Laurent quickly turns around and fails to meet Kris's gaze. Huh, what's with him? No matter…

"Have you rested enough? I'll need you when we march on the Castrum tomorrow."

"...I see. I'm useful now, am I? I'm shocked you're not asking me to defend the camp instead."

"I never said you weren't useful. I only said I needed you to rest."

Laurent doesn't bother to hide his frustration. "Fine. Yes, I'm well-rested. I'll make sure no Garlean stabs you in the back tomorrow."

"You needn't be so testy." I'm far too tired for this… "I'll see you at dawn, then." Kris turns around and makes for his tent before the other Viera could respond.

~~~

Cid watches the two talk from a short distance away. He cannot hear their words, but their body language clearly indicates that their conversation isn't pleasant.

Gods… they really are idiots…

[liviavanrouge]

Livias class, flight and alchemy lines

Class

--Good Lines(Depending on the time)--

"This is kinda boring..."

"I wonder how far the Thorn Queens thorns could go"

"Jaguar...mutiny war"

"I learned all this from Nilo!"

"Silver said to work hard!"

"Who told this raggedy cat to come near me, he better move before I scorch his tail"

"Maybe I'll go to the library after this"

"I wanna see Headmaster Crowley!"

"I miss Crowley's presence"

--Great lines--

"Yay!"

"Tututu~"

"Wow, that's a fact!"

"I'm a bit annoyed right now..."

--Perfect Lines--

"Wowie!! Wowzers! Woah!"

"I did well, didn't I!?"

"I remembered that, hehe!"

"Hehehe, Leona taught me this one"

Special Lesson

"Crowley!"

"I'll do my best for the headmaster!"

"Mal Mal, Silver! I did it!!"

----

Flight

--Good(Depending on the time)--

"How fun!"

"Let's all be careful alright?"

"Silver says I'm a great flier!"

"WOAH! AH! SILVER HELP!!"

"I don't like areas that have too much sun, hurts my eyes and skin..."

"Grim...fly with me now"

"Bat Dad says to not be in the air for too long"

"Sebek says to take it slow and steady..."

"Hmph, where's Crowley?"

--Great--

"Weeee! Fun~"

"I used my wings for this one!"

"I wish Silver would be more careful..."

"Oh Trey! Look at me!"

--Perfect--

"Riddle says I look stiff.."

"Tututu~ the breeze feels great!"

"I wonder if Sebek is doing okay..."

"I see the orchard from here!"

Special

"This is amazing!!!"

"Ahahaha! Big brother look!"

"Honestly, flying is easy or are you all stupid"

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Alchemy

--Good(Depending on the time)

"Stir it nice and slow..."

"Nasty smell!! Make it go away!"

"Mal Mal says to be careful"

"Big brother, big brother look! It changed"

"Silver!!! Wake up!"

"Oh no...Silver..."

"Vil taught me how to make this one!"

"Cowabunga!! Hehe, Floyd taught me that"

"This is gonna hurt my nose...."

--Great--

"Something on my coat?"

"Go back to where you came from..oh wait they don't want you, sorry I forgot"

"Honestly! Be more careful!

"Hah! I guess this is how Sebek feeks!"

--Perfect--

"Oh wow!"

"Rook, I did it!

"Haru, don't you dare!"

"Big brother, thanks for helping!"

Special

"How worthless are you!?"

"Do it right stupid, Crowley is watching!"

"Why are you even here, you're just a drag!"

----

Battle Lines

Battle Start: "Why are you even here?"

When Selected:

"I'm ready!"

2. "I don't wanna.."

3. "In we go!"

4. "Charge!"

Effect Usage:

Debuff: "I'll tell my big brother!"

Buff: "Use the magic wisely!"

Getting attacked:

"*Yowls*"

"Ouchie!"

Attacking:

"Cry Louder" -By Herself going first

"Disgusting!" -By Herself going first

"You hurt my eyes" -By herself going second

"You're useless!" -By herself going second

"Ugh, can we finish this!?" -With another student her going first

"Watch out weakling!" -With another student her going first

"I'll crush you worm!" -With another student her going second

"How much longer?" -With another student her going second

--Double Attacking--

"Why do I gotta fight you.." -By herself going first

"Bow your head!" -by herself going first

"Man, you're pathetic" -by herself going second

"I know best, heh~" -by herself going second

"I've been prepared for this!" -With another student her going first

"You entered a Jaguar den!" -with another student her going first

"This is a waste.." -with another student her going second

"Oh my God! Go down already!" -with another student her going second

--triple hits--

"You're dead!" -By herself going first

"How are you this worthless" -by herself going first

"Learn your place vermin!" -by herself going second

"Why do I bother..." by herself going second

"Wretched vermin! I'll make you cry!" -With another student her going first

"Honestly, are you even trying?" -with another student her going first

"I shall bury you alive!" -with another student her going second

"How dare you!?" -with another student her going second

--magic 3--

"Squeal in fear"

"You have some pathetic spells"

"Compared to me you're a bug"

"Unsightly rat!"

---

Battle Win

"Hah! How worthless you are"

Battle Lose

"Am I....worthless?"

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @zexal-club @marrondrawsalot @yumeko2sevilla

@queen-of-twisted @pekoetiikapu @teddymochi

[shes-a-badkid]

Thoughts while reading The Trials of Apollo - “The Dark Prophecy” with my nephew-

1. I still cannot get over the name Lester for Apollo

2. Even after being humbled a bit, he is still the cockiest bastardized out there

3. I love the idea of Leo just having a good time with his girlfriend and his dragon and helping a God out and then there is Calypso and Apollo just snarking at each other the whole time

4. I love Calypso so much- just straight punches someone, breaks her hand, and almost immediately says fuck it and kicks someone and breaks her foot. I just really identify with this

5. Poor Leo- had to leave Festus again. WHEN WILL MY SON GET A BREAK, RICK?!

6. Oh poor Emmie and Josephine! If this book doesn’t end with them getting their daughter back I will be seeking financial compensation

7. I’m obsessed with Emmie and Josephine, every new thing I learn about them just adds to my love

8. Apollo and Calypso on a quest with no Leo to buffer… I’m so here for this- the sass with be *chefs kiss* impeccable

9. I really like that Apollo’s memory is iffy right now because I truly don’t know who most of these people are and him remembering doesn’t feel like a generic info dump

10. Hell yeah, Meg!!! Run away from those assholes! (But please don’t make me sad again)

11. Apollo- how are you so thirsty? Like we haven’t focused on the gods in as much detail as you, but you seem like a thirty bitch. Now I know you can’t possibly be as thirsty as Zeus, but you might come close

12. So far on this quest we have Calypso doing like 85% of the work- picking locks, grifting the two searching for them into believing she was cursing them- what a queen. And you know, Apollo is also there, like good job with that train buddy, you helped!

13. Hell yeah, Meg! Take his ass out! (I think ‘hell yeah, Meg’ might become my catchphrase thought this series)

14. Okay Apollo- nice work letting all the animals loose, that was clutch

15. Sure, Apollo, you totally didn’t cry when Meg hugged you. We all totally believe you 😑

16. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more time- I am obsessed with Josephine

17. “I was, after all, selfless, caring, and all around nice guy.” And just when I was feeling a bad for you my dude

18. Oh poor, Georgina, your mind is just mashed bananas right now

19. Look at you Apollo being all smart and melting that door- I would say I’m proud but the ego doesn’t need the compliment

20. PEACHES!!! NOOOOO! My sweet, little maniac

21. Festus! My favorite boy 🐉

22. Thalia about to kick some ass like the boss bitch she is

23. I love that Lityerses immediately went from down to kill for Commodus to I’m gonna kill Commodus for thinking of killing me and joining the side of good

24. Apollo may have fully won me over for staying back just to save Livia the elephant- also what a sight to see Thalia being a badass while escaping on a elephant

25. Leo and Calypso staying at the waystation makes so much sense and I’ll miss them so much, but also I would totally ready a book about Leo and Calypso at the waystation with Josephine and Emmie

26. Apollo hating his arrow is the best. I love a god having beef with an inanimate object

27. Oh Meg, my dear, I just want to hug you!

28. Apollo may be a self centered douche like 90% of the time but my man has a lot of feelings. Like- he cares for Meg so much, he just wanted to save Livia the elephant, he is passionate in his hatred of slavery, and he is so worried for his friends at the waystation

29. What is this red lightning, Jamie?!? I am intrigued

30. Sssssarah is delightful and I would love for her to just randomly pop up

31. Can we leave Festus alone, please

32. RICK! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE GONNA KILL OFF A LOVELY GRIFFIN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH (laid an egg… whatever) AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY?!? RIP Heloise

33. The delight I feel at just the mention of Coach Hedge is entirely normal! Stop judging me!

34. GROVER! MY SWEET SATYR!

[d2sejanus--plinth]

"You sure have a very rich imagination, that I can say. You need to slow down, you're fucking spiraling," the curse word slipped unbidden, he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing him angry, but he did feel the heat rise within him and he didn't know how much more he could take; she was so good at taunting, her voice scraping at his brain so uncomfortably, he wanted her to shut up so badly. "You don't know anything about Coriolanus and me." He spat, unable to hide the malice in his voice, god, he couldn't even stand it when she said Coriolanus' name, she didn't even deserve to have his name on her lips.

He could tell that the pieces were falling together for her, in her head, unfortunately she was not a ditzy dumb woman, no, she was quite intelligent and perceptive, too, and he could tell by the expressions flitting by her face that the puzzle in her head was clearer, that an image was starting to form, he felt sickened. He truly didn't want to expose anything, not of himself, not of Coriolanus, not of the both of them, but Livia was so terrible and so cutting with her words, and it seemed she was really so keen on stealing Coriolanus from him, the edges of his vision hazed with red.

"Yeah, we sure did. I lived through the war, too, Livia. You'll never know him like I do. You'll never know what makes him tick, you'll never see him vulnerable, you'll never know his secrets," he really shouldn't run his mouth like this, but Livia angered him so much it all spilled out, definitely possessive, he was sounding like a jealous lover, but once that impulse let loose inside of him it was hard to stop. His face felt hot with anger and he rolled his eyes at Livia still sounding oh so sure of everything. At her even being threatening; he wasn't surprised that she was most worried about Coriolanus' reputation in regards to her own reputation, that she wanted to be First Lady. It was scary how much she did resemble Coriolanus in some ways, maybe in another life they'd have been true partners. It was only a fleeting thought, though. He burst out laughing.

"Every. night. I'll give him what he wants, Livia." He enunciated, "You're insane if you think I'd do anything to compromise Coryo. I know what he's after. Coriolanus will be President, you aren't wrong, dear," the faked saccharine endearment slipped, his voice having calmed a bit again, taking on a more controlled tune. "Don't be delusional. It's very unbecoming. Your little temper tantrum doesn't scare me away."

And it didn't. There was nothing in the world that would make him back off, that would make him abandon Coriolanus. He smirked when Livia so crudely told him he were her guest if he wanted to act like Coriolanus' whore, incensed with her ever thinking he'd need her permission for anything, really, or her opinion. His words were clipped, hissed between his teeth, "Fuck you. Remember when you called Coriolanus about the flower arrangements, Livia? I was fucking him right then. I was giving it to him good. Hearing him curse you out after you ended the call was a massive turn on."

Livia watched Sejanus closely, hoping that he might give something away even if it was just a look. Panic. Anger. An attempt to scramble away to run to Coriolanus and tell him of this conversation. But Sejanus gave little away, staring at her almost blankly at first and making no attempt to leave just yet. She had tried to push every button she could. A mention of their time as Peacekeepers and their return to the Capitol, alongside throwing in a cold reminder that Coriolanus was her husband now, at least to everyone that mattered. "Best friends? Is that what you call it?" Livia hissed at him. "I wouldn't think you would be looking for a wife, not given what I know now. Perhaps Coriolanus can find you someone that is pathetic enough to marry you, to help cover your tracks." Had that been the plan? Coriolanus would marry her and they'd find someone to marry Sejanus so no one could ever be the wiser about their involvement. "I know what I saw! Don't waste your time denying it!" Her glare narrowed as he once more tried to deny what she had seen. From the hug, she might have been left wondering but the kiss on the top of Sejanus head from Coriolanus had left no doubt of just what she was seeing. A lovers embrace. Had he been comforting his little boyfriend because of the wedding? Was Sejanus that upset that Coriolanus had married someone else? He was never going to marry him. To do so would be foolish, it would cost him everything. He would never have a chance at the Presidency if he married a man, especially a District man. No, he needed a pretty little wife. A Capitol born woman who could give him children when the time came. She fit the bill perfectly and it was an ideal arrangement. She would be First Lady and she wasn't going to let Coriolanus or Sejanus ruin this for her. Not now that it was all within her grasp. Things made more sense now. Everything clicked into place as she thought more about it. This was why Coriolanus had never taken her to bed. She had certainly been willing but he had always assured her that he wanted to wait until they were married. Traditional values were a staple in the Capitol and she had always wondered if that was why he wanted them to wait. She had never made the mistake thinking he was a gentleman, although she had been almost touched that he wanted to wait until they both were wearing rings. But no, he was too busy fucking Sejanus Plinth to desire her. Did he even desire her at all? Not that he needed to, but she will would have liked to feel desirable, even if it was just when they were going to make a baby. It was also why he wouldn't let her move into the Penthouse. She had had her eye on that apartment, long before she had started 'dating' Coriolanus. It was the most beautiful apartment in all of the Capitol and she had wanted it so desperately. To call it home. To bring her friends and family there. To show it off in the right magazines. But Coriolanus wouldn't hear of it and had shut down the conversation each time she had tried to bring it up. We should have a fresh start. To begin our new life together, he would always say. It wasn't about a fresh fucking start! He lived there with Sejanus! It made sense now. The Plinths owned the apartment underneath the Penthouse. How easy would it be for Sejanus to slip upstairs without anyone seeing him? Coriolanus staff must know, for surely they cooked for them and cleaned the apartment. No wonder he wouldn't let Claudius or Anastasia come and work for them! They knew everything too.

Livia was about to snarl an accusation about the Penthouse when suddenly Sejanus was growling back at her, clearly having lost his temper. Any denial he might have been clinging to was gone with each sentence that slipped from his mouth. He was angry, jealous and clearly needing to stake his claim on the man he thought was his. So the relationship was serious. It wasn't just a fumble and clearly he had been going on for a long time. This could be a problem. "I've known him longer than you! We used to play together long before you and your dirty little District family moved here to the Capitol! And we all went through hard times Sejanus! Boo Hoo! You're not that special! We lived through a war!" She growled back at him. Her family had been wealthy even back then but they had all suffered. She didn't know just what had happened when they'd been Peacekeepers and she didn't want to know but it was clear the relationship had been ongoing for quite sometime. "Every night? You think you'll be fucking him every night? He's my husband now Sejanus and I won't let either of you two risk my reputation or my hard work. Coriolanus will be President and I'm not going to let you ruin that!" she spat at him. "You want to act like Coriolanus' whore, be my guest. But you will not come between us and Coriolanus being President." She didn't want to be just another rich mans wife. She wanted to be the Presidents wife and she wasn't going to let anyone - especially someone District born - prevent that from happening.

[starswornoaths]

This Blessed Day - Ch. 7

@blackestnight's commission continues! (also oh my god, I forgot editing in mobile removes the "read more" break on the last chapter, that's been fixed, I'm so sorry about that)

Lucia is left with her thoughts, and the roiling anxiety in the pit of her stomach. A conversation with Aymeric does little to alleviate her woes.

Word count: 2,995

Prev

~*~

It was well enough into autumn that the weather had taken a turn for the colder, and that fire in her chest had yet to abate.

The Black Wolf has yet to rear a weak pup. May you not be the first.

Lucia’s stomach knotted itself up all over again, as was its wont, of late. Just before dinner, it inspired her to excuse herself through the servant’s entry in the kitchens to get some fresh air in the quiet, crisp evening. The little fenced in yard was quiet, but peaceful, and it gave her space to disentangle her emotions. Or at least, attempt to.

If nothing else, the dark was a familiar sort of calm; it reminded her of better jobs, in simpler days, when her life was only gray and gaslight, and a bit of work from within the shadows. Needing to feel as though she could still hide, just for a few moments, she hunched low, crouched and observed her hands as they wrung and fidgeted.

The Black Wolf has yet to rear a weak pup. May you not be the first.

Before she had been captured, even, just the recollection of that thinly veiled threat was enough to make her heart lurch. At the time, the comment had been easily brushed off; she had never failed a job before, and she had worked her way into being a spy on the same merits that she had fostered in herself, under Lord Gaius’ tutelage.

Logically, she knew, even at the time, that she was being pressured because of her sister climbing higher in the ranks than she did. She was a reflection of Livia’s stock, and the quality thereof. They were meant to inspire one another, to reach greater heights together.

The difference, one that no one seemed to care to notice, was that it was Livia, who wanted to aim higher. To drag herself up, and reclaim the safety of being in their adopted father’s inner circle, in particular. To make her feel protected, in that way that the Empire itself never could.

Whatever resentment that Lucia might have harbored toward Livia, for effectively throwing her to the side for the chance to claw her way back to the man that had helped raise them, she could never begrudge Livia the why, of it all.

Lucia had found her own sliver of protection—or, rather, she had thought that she had. The more time she spent away from home, and the longer that she ruminated on that Tribunus Militum’s snide comment, the more she realized that, at some point, she must have done something to piss someone off, in high command.

Possibly even Gaius himself, for all she knew. Or Livia.

This assignment, one she had thought had been given to her for her excellence in her field, had been, she swiftly realized, a direct attempt on her life. Even if it hadn’t been perceived that way by her immediate commanding officer, he got his orders from somewhere out of her reach, and there was evidently only room for one Junius, in the upper echelon of the military, insofar as those who mattered cared.

If it had even been that personal; the turnaround on spies was notoriously high, often rotated out to R&D’s security details, or somewhere higher in clearance, for the exceptional ones whose skill outweighed the risk of keeping them alive and knowing too much. Or, those who had lived through the attempt to “retire” them.

You’ll get a job thrown in your lap that will likely kill you, eventually. Ouroboros had said, several times, throughout his lessons in espionage and subterfuge, in between as many blows as he could, during their combat training. And it’s either because someone’s impressed with you, or because someone hates you. Regardless, it is a test. Succeed, or else. And remember: it’s when, not if, you get one. Because you will.

The tendons in her hands ached in the faint chill of the evening. She flexed and clenched her fingers, and, when she realized it would not calm the buzzing in her nerves, plucked a wayward stick, likely fallen from the branches hanging overhead, and took to lightly etching and poking at a spare, empty patch in the garden. It was hardly a hobby she was attached to, but it was something for her hands to do, while she mulled over her thoughts.

She had thought herself good enough to get cycled up, promoted into something cushy and quiet, where she could keep her head down, and have enough time to herself, to find a proper reason to live. Naive as it had been, she’d been banking on her penchant for avoiding the scuttlebutt, and the petty infighting, being enough to keep her from being rotated out, in favor of new staff.

“What is that you’re sketching there?” Aymeric asked, startling her out of her thoughts.

She’d been so focused on the movement of the stick in her hand, Lucia hadn’t even realized the shape she was sketching, rough as it was, until his question prompted her to take in what she had faintly dug into the earth. The ring she’d drawn was a bit lopsided and misshapen, but the pointed arrow marking where the ring overlapped to make itself complete, she recognized what she’d been drawing.

When she looked up at him, standing over by the doorway some paces off, he was haloed by the light coming in from the kitchens. In his hand, he held up a muffin he’d doubtless absconded with from the kitchens. Margelyne would smack his hand with a wooden spoon, once she found out...provided she hadn’t already.

After measuring what she deemed good enough for an answer, she replied, “An Ouroboros,” and resumed her idle poking and strokes with the stick.

The etching became more focused as she defined the outline of the snake, looped around itself, as she continued, “Admittedly, hadn’t really decided to sketch it. Just sort of…happened.”

Aymeric made a noise in the back of his throat as though he understood—maybe he’d also been prone to idle scribbling. Or journaling. He looked like someone who kept a journal.

Breaking the muffin in his hand in half, he squatted by where she knelt and offered her the bigger piece. She took the proffered half with a startled word of thanks.

“A dragon eating its own tail. Any particular symbolism for you?” He asked, before he popped a bit of muffin in his mouth.

“The beginning and ending of all things,” Lucia recited the mythology, by heart, because the tale had always, always prefaced the lesson. After chewing on a bite of muffin, and his words both, she noted, “Though...you said dragon. In Garlemald, it’s a serpent. It’s not on any government symbols, but I always see— used to see— this symbol, in some way or another, on every medicus clinic in my district.”

“Fascinating,” Aymeric hummed, and he seemed to take a genuine interest. He settled back on his haunches, and, after swallowing another bite of muffin for himself, asked, “What does it mean to you, that it inspires you to draw it when left to your thoughts?”

“…For me? It’s…familiar, I suppose.” Lucia said, shrugging the shoulder not tracing the lines deeper in the dirt. “Like I said, I saw it everywhere.”

She studied her own crude drawing for a moment, in contemplative silence, as they both finished off the last few bites of their foodstuff. Her handiwork was a far cry from the clean, neat lines that were often laser etched into glass, or burned onto wood signs, in the poorer districts, not unlike where she had grown up. Despite how many years it had been since she had last ventured out to the fringes of the capital, she could remember clearly how often she would see the almost artful depictions of the serpent adorning the doors—that’s how you know you’re in the right place for Papa’s medicine, sweetheart, she remembered how her mother would wheeze, pressing meager coins into palms too little to hold them.

“You are homesick.” Aymeric’s sympathetic tone drew her out of her rumination, and she looked up to see him offering her a wincing smile.

She was tempted to ask if he knew what it felt like at all; she couldn’t picture him travelling terribly far from Ishgard, for how notoriously strict the city was, even with its citizenry. In many ways, especially with its citizenry. Swallowing the question down with the lump that had formed in her throat, she opted to look back down at her crude drawing.

“In a sense, I suppose. Though admittedly, my home is not my own, even in Garlemald.”

Expecting questions wanting elaboration, it surprised her instead when Aymeric nodded. “Career military, then? Naught outside of it?” At her nod, he shrugged. “So it is for me— insofar as is not expected of me by m— the Borels.”

That confession was a spark that set off a chain reaction in her chest: first, she felt surprised. Surprised, because she hadn’t expected him to be so solitary in a house that, by her every estimation, considered him part and parcel of its lifeblood. That shock was only momentary. It was engulfed by the ensuing anger that ran hot in her ribcage. He spoke with entirely too much confidence that they could relate, for one brought into such privilege. What did he know of not having a home? What did he know of it, having the choice that he did?

“…You said it was a dragon, in Halonic iconography.” Lucia spoke up in a distant tone to change the subject. “Why?”

“You know at least some details of the Dragonsong War, I imagine.” He began dryly, and she nodded; it wasn’t exactly a secret.

He held out his hand far enough to catch her eye, and when she realized what he was asking for, she handed him the stick she had drawn with. His hand was practiced, if awkward, as he began to draw lines branching out from the serpent—ah, a wing, she realized when it had begun to resemble a long bat.

“As it is taught, our history is inextricably intertwined with that of the dragons; time was, we lived in peace, once. When King Thordan was betrayed by a dragon, however, it sparked a conflict that rages on to this day. The Ouroboros is a warning and reminder both, in Ishgard: a cycle of life and death. Of the Dragonsong War itself, were one more philosophically inclined.”

The teeth marked and bared upon the wyrm’s own tail, Aymeric handed the stick back to her. She was grateful that he seemed to understand her need for something to pull her focus from her words, for them to come out at all. For that, she was grateful.

“Seems a grim mark, especially one to teach to children.”

“’Tis the way of it here.” Aymeric shrugged, still studying the etching. “It is the most crucial cog in any war machine.”

“Scaring children with bedtime stories?” She balked.

He seemed unaffected by her question, and paused to look up at her plainly. “Propaganda. You are familiar, I presume.”

For a moment, she didn’t necessarily know what to say to that. She finally settled on, “I would be a fool not to be.”

“Anyone would be, truly. Naught is too sacred to use as fuel to keep a war going— history, perhaps, least of all.”

Lucia had begun moving the stick without thought, adding details to the altered drawing. Scales, to lend it a more Dravanian appearance.

“So it has ties to your history. Fine. But that’s what it means to the church.” She noted. “You didn’t mention what it meant to you.”

“I suppose, that answer is one and the same—to a point.” Aymeric took another moment to ponder his next words. “Mayhap, in some ways, the symbol reminds me of…home, in a more general sense.”

She couldn’t help but note the care with which he chose his words there, that told her that he was not referring to the Borel household, but Ishgard itself. Perhaps it was healthy of him to speak as though he were in the presence of a spy. He was, after all. Technically speaking. For however successful she had been at it.

The stick lifted from the drawing, replanting itself near where she had made a forked tongue stick out of its mouth, overlapping on the tail. Jagged lines were drawn on either side. The dragon bore fangs, now.

“We toil in the same way as our ancestors did, spill blood as our ancestors did, and we go nowhere. This war has been at the longest stalemate in history, and we have changed nothing, in all that time, and we wonder why we are getting nowhere.” Aymeric snorted derisively under his breath, and the noise struck her as odd coming from him; he had rarely been anything but well mannered. “Madness.”

It was…startling, in how refreshing it was, to hear say that. More so when it was one she felt she could, at least, trust enough to not actively seek to harm her. Maybe it was because she was so starved for that, for conversation that she felt she could engage in, that she made that reason enough, for her to hesitantly open up, just a little, about her own experiences. Not enough to compromise her, for goodness’ sakes, but it never hurt to have someone on the inside just a little bit endeared to her.

Mind thus made up, Lucia tipped her proverbial hand, just a little, as she replied with, “I’m surprised you think so.”

“’Tis not an uncommon thought to have here.” He shrugged again. “But best of luck getting anyone to say it, unless they’re keen on seeing what is at the bottom of Witchdrop for themselves.”

A sympathetic wince pinched Lucia’s expression without conscious thought. “I sympathize.” she said slowly, carefully measuring what would and would not be too much information. “Garlemald, for all its advancements, is far from different, in that regard.”

Certainly not if you asked anyone in the upper echelon of Imperial social circles, but then, most of them hadn’t grown up starving, and orphaned, for the cardinal sin of breathing. Not like she did. None of them had ever been beaten for having the audacity to ask a question.

When he had first brought her here, Lucia had dismissed his notions that he could ever hope to lead Ishgard into a better future. Even now, she was all but certain that the city would devour him long before he saw any meaningful progress. Cities like Ishgard and Garlemald did that, to the revolutionaries that tried to stay and change something.

But in that moment, she understood the position that he had put himself in, being so acutely aware of every flaw in the machine of which he was but a cog. It had been, in truth, the same spot she had lived in, for as long as she could remember being clever enough to see it. It was…nice, to be able to speak on it, even a little, with someone who understood the same feeling, but did not have the same information as her. In that way, talking about it didn’t feel redundant.

“Dost mine ears deceive me, or is the lady reconsidering her stance on our savage land?” Aymeric asked in a flat voice, a hand over his heart, a look of blatantly false shock on his face.

“Reconsidering, aye. But not convinced.” she snorted, before she could think better of it.

Something about the unsurprised nod of his head in response agitated her. That fire that she had only barely managed to bank flickered dangerously as he straightened, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Tends to be the way of it, in the beginning. You’re touched, but not moved. It’d be unfair to expect much more than that.” The smile he gave her quieted the roar of blood in her ears into a distant murmur: for all his words, it was clear that he genuinely believed them. “But you are open to listening. And that is reason enough to keep trying.”

Something close to pride made Lucia bristle at that comment. To imply that she was some malleable, easily manipulated loon incapable of forming her own opinions, were she to give it an uncharitable interpretation, would be to insult the very core of her being. Perhaps, had this conversation happened when she were still undercover, she’d have snarled under her breath about it later and thought no further on it.

But it was as Aymeric said: she was listening now. And that initial defensiveness softened.

He had made no secret of his intent to convince her that his was a worthy cause. Were she honest, that was refreshing, in its own way. Perhaps it was because he had been so upfront with her, from almost the start, she had been more willing to listen.

Or perhaps she needed something to fill the hollow in her chest, where the numbness had once taken residence. Something to smother the rising flames in her chest.

Anything to help keep it together, as she searched for escape.

As Lucia stood up and stuffed her hands in her pockets, she reminded herself that whatever she might learn, she would ultimately have to let go, upon her escape. At the thought of it, her hand curled around the beacon in her pocket. She looked down at what they had created, as she stroked her thumb along the smooth metal, pensive.

Better that she remember that their sentiments, and her interest in the inner workings of this world of savages, all needed to be as fleeting and temporary as the self-entwined dragon-snake, etched collaboratively into the dirt that she was now sweeping away with the flat of her boot, before they went back inside.

Next

[nicolecossack]

-Mini Story Part 5: Duel Test- (the following duel is actually a ranked duels i had in duel links)

Early in the morning Livia is woken up by an alarm clock. She groans, not wanting to wake, and soon the alarm stops, someone turned it off.

"Get up already, you ain't doing yourself any favors staying in bed.", Primos booming voice rang in her ears.

"I don't wanna . . .", Livia replied. It took her a moment to remember where she was, but then she sudden she got up. "Oh my god!"

"You have memory loss when you sleep? I don't get you, girl.", Primo said.

Livia got out of bed just before the door opened to her room. Two strangely clothed people stepped in.

"Good Morning, Livia. I hope you slept well. We are here as your instructors.", the woman said.

"Please follows us and we will explain everything to you, after that you will go have breakfast and we will go from there."

Livia nods slowly. The two lead her out of her room through the facility. They enter a Duel Arena. Livia looks around, having a strange feeling she saw this arena before from somewhere, but she is sure he never been in this place before.

"We have scheduled your first 2 weeks. You will be trained as a Duelist here in preparation for your task in the Synchro Dimension. Let us run down the plans what you will be learning.", The man said.

They pull out a holographic screen. It shows Livia the things they wanna teach her at which date, even counts in delays if she isn't good at something and needs more training.

"As you can see, the first 2 or 3 days will be dueling tests, we will put you up against duelists to see how well you preform in standard duels. After that you will be taught the summoning mechanics you may have never seen before while in the Synchro Dimension. There is a bit to learn in that direction and you can then also get cards here for those summoning mechanics for free if you think it suits your Deck. The least dueling related thing you will be taught here are driving a duel runner and turbo dueling. These are only thought to people who are send to the synchro dimension. You know the importance of that i'm sure. If you pass, you will get your own duel runner as well.", the woman explained to her. Livia got actually pretty excited when she heard she'd get to learn turbo dueling, as that was what she wished to do, become an ace Turbo Duelists. She loved watching those duels and how they worked when she was still a child. Her parents never agreed to well with her there though, she never understood why. After that briefing she was guided to a Cafeteria like area, where she saw a lot of people.

"Hey, Livia, nice to see you again.", from a bit away she can see Kevin, he came to her. "How was your nightly stay?"

"Odd, i am not used to it, but i still slept good.", she told him.

"Foods on the house here, sense we are members, even rookies like you. Though, i already suspect you are treated differently here, perhaps Aesir knows you from somewhere. Anyway, i guess you have a long day, pick up a fork.", Kevin goes with her to help her around. For how cold he sounds, he seems to care at least. Livia and Kevin get some food and sit down together.

"Kevin, how long have you been here?", Livia asked while they eat.

"I think a few years actually, i sometimes forget flow of time here.", he replied.

"What do you do here?"

"I work in the XYZ dimension, currently no duty, but i know its coming up soon, when i'll be gone for a long time again. You really only rest here a bit, missions take long, some don't get recalled for months. All to get their goals, we have hardly any power here and just follow orders.", he spoke a bit saddened, Livia can tell he also hates this place.

"How do they keep everyone in line?", she asked curiously.

"A man called Sayer runs a Brain Research Lab here.", *Kevin leans closer and whispers to her," They are brainwashing people who are not obedient here."

("Just as i thought from what i gathered"), Livia heard Primos voice in her head.

"I see . . .", she thought about it.

"Don't worry, i think you will be able to handle that and avoid it. Sayer is pretty picky with the people he actually takes. He is one of the leading figures here together with Aesir and Liz.", Kevin said as he finished eating. Livia also finished right after.

"Thank you, Kevin, i should get going, don't want them to get angry." Kevin nods and lets her go. Livia heads back to the duel area where one more person is now there as well.

"Welcome back, your Opponent also arrived now. I hope you are ready to start. You will be doing three duels, see it as a match only that its three different decks. You have to win two of the three to pass the test today.", the woman said.

Livia nods and gets out her duel disk," I am ready."

The two instructors and two of the three other people then step aside and lets them onto the duel field. They take position and start shuffling their decks before the duel. Ones ready they shout duel.

"I will be going first." Her Opponent declares. "I play the field spell Triamid Fortress.", the area they stand it changes into a dessert area with a strange looking Pyramid behind her Opponent. "Now i summon Triamid Hunter in attack position.", the monster appears, its like a Egyptian deity of some kind. "While i have a face-up Field Spell i can use Hunters effect to normal summon another Rock type monster from my head, and it will be another Triamid Hunter.", a second Hunter appears. "I set two cards face down and end my turn."

("What a weak start, destroy him."), Primos spoke to her.

"Its my turn, draw!", *Livia draws a card, then looks at her hand.

"I will activate my trap card, Powersink Stone.", her opponent suddenly yelled.

"What?!", Livia responded.

"Each time a monster effect is activated, this card gains a Spellstone Counter, ones it has 2 then all effects of monsters on the field are negated.", he explained.

"Mhm. . .!", ("guess i need to fight around that, but his defense is so weak i might be able to push for game turn two if i am smart. . ."), Livia thought. Scanning her options she had, she had some eyes of blue monstes and a blue-eyes white dragon, even a Ancient rules spell card, but also had a Wisel in hand, then she thought of an idea.

"Alright, i summon Maiden with Eyes of Blue in attack position.", then the infinity Symbole on her implant activates and glows red. "Duel skill activate, i play spark breaker!", her duel skill allows her to play it from outside of her deck. "Spark breaker effect activates, i can target and destroy one of my own monsters and i choice Maiden with eyes of blue.," thats when the maidens special effect activates,"when the maiden gets targeted by an card effect i can special summon a blue-eyes white dragon from my deck to the field! Come forth!", The large frame of the white dragon appears, after that the maiden is destroyed by spark breaker, this also puts a counter on the trap card. "Sense my monster was destroyed by a card effect, i can activate Wisels effect to special summon itself! Assemble, Meklord Emperor Wisel.", the pieces of the Emperor combine into one and its large frame threatingly casts a shadow on the battle field. This effect puts a second counter on the trap card.

"Powersink stone has 2 counters now, so all our monsters effects are negated . . .", her opponent said.

"Heh, perfect, because this means you lose now!", her opponent stared in shock, she didn't have enough attack power. "I activate Ancient Rules, it allows me to special summon a normal monster level 5 or higher from hand and i chose my second Blue-Eyes White dragon!", a second dragon appears on the field. "Heh, normally, Meklord Emperor Wisel prevents other monsters from attacking, but sense his effect is negated, i can attack with all of them~", thats when her opponent realized the misplay he made. Livia commands her monsters to attack, her two Blue-Eyes destroy the triamid hunters, then Meklord Emperor Wisel attack directly for game, winning her the game. ("Not bad, cleaver even, i like how you destroy your enemies~"), Primo chuckled enjoying the show it seems. ("Well, with a bit of help at least~"). Livia listened to him. Help? What kind of help was her, but then she things about it, of course, the spark breaker, this is not the duel skill she normally has. ("Don't be confused, your duel skill just evolved to suit the Meklord Emperor. Lets say you have a two in one now. I let you borrow that skill from me."), he explained.

("So you made me know what it is and how to use it to, hu?", she asked.

("With that implant its not hard to temper with your little head i will admit, but you are useless to me if you don't preform well, so i thought i'd help you at least a little bit, little human."), he was talking with such disrespect, it really made her kinda angry he was stuck to her.

"Well done, Livia, perhaps this was to easy for you . . . When we heard you don't have a lot of dueling experience we thought this might be a good match up. Now we know better, your next opponent won't be as easy though.", her instructors said. "However we need to rethink the set up, so you are allowed to have a break. You may explore the area here nearby. We will get you ones we are ready."

Livia is let of to wander about, she heads outside of the duel arena into the corridors. Primos become visible to her.

"So, you never dueled before?", he asked.

"No, not at all, but i never dueled that much, mom and dad said i should focus on other things.", she replied.

"How strange, you are talented, didn't expect you to handle yourself that well, despite how easy that boy was.", he looked away, "I am guessing they will at least give you one synchro deck to fight against, that will be more satisfying to watch. Crushing all the hopes they had with those monsters using Wisel."

"You don't seem to fond of synchro monsters.", Livia looked at him.

"These type of monsters mean nothing but failure and should be punished as such.", the destain for the mosnter type is clear in his voice, he hates them.

"Heh, i guess we won't get along a lot then, i use a few myself.", she takes out her extra deck, which contained Synchro Monsters but also Fusion Monsters. "My ace is a synchro monster even.", she showed him her Blue-Eyes Spirit Dragon. Primo seemed disgusted by the sight.

"Useless, if it were for me i'd burn those cards right away, but i guess you will need them for now, unless you wanna hand those over to me and i will give you a much better deck~", he threatend her a bit.

"No, thanks, this Meklord card is strange enough to be in my deck, plus this deck was a gift from my father, so you ain't getting it!", she was angry at his offer and complete lack of any respect.

"One day you will beg for it, the moment those cards fail you, you will discard them and i will watch in glee as you come crawling to me and plead for my help.", he laughs darkly, then he disappears again.

Livia was angry, such an arrogant bastard he is, it feels like a curse to have him as if the Situation she was in wasn't bad enough for her. She walked down the Corridors trying to get her mind off from him, while trying to prepare for the next duel.

[the-bee-graveyard]

Congrats on 100 followers!!! How about kitty?

Thank you Fae ❤️

I’m sorry this took so long, I’m lazy

Requests are still open, go here for more details

Alright I call this one Windows, it’s inspired by the scene in Riverdale where Kevin and Betty are talking about Archie because it’s the one thing I remember about that show and it fits:

Twin sisters can be a lot of things. They can be best friends, forever companions. They can also be clingy, and nosy, and they can scare the shit out of you when they sneak into your room unannounced and you look up from looking out your window to see her standing next to you smiling like she was about to commit a murder.

“Shit Livvy!” Ty exclaimed, jumping back. His cat, Irene, hissed and leaped off his bed, coming to rub herself up against Livvy.

“What are we looking at?” Livvy asked, punching Ty on the arm playfully. It didn’t hurt but he flinched, and she moved herself to make sure she wasn’t touching him.

“Nothing,” Ty said quickly, trying to think of a way to close the blinds on his window without Livvy noticing. As if she could read his mind Livvy looked out the window and let out a loud gasp.

“Oh my god,” she exclaimed. “Kit got hot.”

Kit Herondale had been their neighbor since the fifth grade when the nice couple next door Tessa and Jem adopted him. He’d been friends with the Blackthorn’s since the sixth. Ty had a huge crush on him since the seventh, Livvy found out about it in the eighth, Kit went to visit family in England at the end of the ninth for the summer, and now they were all back here at the beginning of tenth grade, Kit looking like a whole Greek god.

Ty peeled out the window again. Kit had his window open (he always did) and he sat on his bed shirtless, looking down at his phone. He looked up for a second and Livvy waved. Kit smiles and waved back before looking down at his phone again.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ty hissed. “Now he’s going to know we were watching him, and he’s going to think we’re creeps, and he’s going to tell everyone we’re creeps, and we’ll forever be known as the creepy stalker twins next door.”

“Can’t be worse than Mark being known as ‘strawberry boy’,” Livvy shrugged, referring to when their older brother went to a restaurant and ordered a plate of strawberries.

“It’s a lot worse than strawberry boy.”

“None of that is going to happen, I was just waving hello. We’ve all waved below a hundred times from this window. You need to calm down.” Ty fought the urge to throw a shoe at his sister. Calm down? How the hell was he supposed to calm down? Why don’t they all just start freaking meditating, because apparently, he was the one who needed to calm down. “He stares at you to you know, which means two things. One, the two of you need to start closing your blinds. Two, he totally likes you back.” Ty blushed.

“No he doesn’t,” Ty said. “Now promise me you won’t get involved.” Livvy stayed silent. “Livia Blackthorn, promise me.”

“Fine, fine,” Livvy sighed. “I promise.” 

“Good,” Ty said cheerily, off to go find his bee plushie before bed, he’d let Tavvy borrow it, and Tavvy had a horrible habit of not returning things to their rightful spot.

*Time jump to the morning*

“Ty, please get the door!” His mother, Eleanor called (Author’s Note: Eleanor’s alive because I said so) Ty opened their from door to reveal Kit standing there, a grin that should look ridiculous plastered on his face, but Ty found it cute.

“How’s my favorite Blackthorn doing?” Kit asked.

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking Christopher,” Ty’s little sister, Dru said as she walked by them. 

“I see you still have an attitude problem,” Kit said.

“How was England?” Dru asked. “Are you as big an asshole to the British as you are to the Americans?”

“Drusilla Blackthorn, we don’t fucking swear in my damn house.” Kit gave a dramatic gasp. Ty was pretty sure he was being sarcastic, Kit was good at that. “Shit! And yes, Christopher Jonathan Herondale doesn't discriminate, he’s an asshole to all.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole,” Ty frowned, making Kit’s smile widened. He lost the frown, it was hard to frown when Kit smiled like that. Ty cursed his heart slamming in his chest, he swore everyone else could hear it. 

“Is Livvy walking with us?” Kit asked. They’d agreed before Kit left that summer to walk together for the first day of school, and Ty was touched Kit didn’t forget. He certainly hadn’t, he’d been waiting every day since Kit left to see him again.

“Livvy will not be walking to school with you,” Livvy said from the stairs. “Livvy’s getting a ride with Julian and Emma, it’s too hot to walk. Livvy will also stop talking it the third person, it’s fucking annoying.” Bullshit, Ty thought. Livvy’d rather walk through the desert than ride with Julian and Emma, she always complained about their obnoxious amount of PDA. And if Livvy went with Julian and Emma then he’d be stuck all alone with Kit and things would get awkward and Kit would find out about Ty’s crush and he’d hate Ty and Ty would have to flee the country to avoid seeing him every day.

Ty was about to tell his sister to suck it up and grab her backpack when his mother walked into the room. “Kit! Hello!” Eleanor said, waving enthusiastically with one hand, the other hand fiddling with a pipe cleaner. 

“Hi Mrs. Bla- Eleanor,” Kit said. Eleanor insisted no one called her Mrs. Blackthorn, she said it sounded too formal and it made her feel old.

“I just came to tell you to have a good first day Ty,” Eleanor said. She came over a kissed her son on the forehead, slipping his fidget toy in his pocket quickly before heading back to the kitchen. “I love you!” She called.

“Should we get going then?” Kit asked. Ty nodded and wrapped his backpack, putting his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t flap so much. Kit said it many times before he liked it when Ty flapped his hands, but Ty was just used to hiding it. 

“I thought of you all summer,” Kit said as soon as they walked far from the Blackthorn house. “I missed you so much. You’re so much better than Tessa’s Aunt Harriet.”

“At least you got to go abroad,” Ty sighed. “All I got was listening to Livvy complain about the heat and Dru ranting about the new season of some horror show she watches.”

“Mark and Helen came home though, didn’t he?” Mark went to college in New York with his boyfriend Kieran and girlfriend Cristina, and Helen and her wife Aline both had high paying jobs as lawyers in New York too,

“Yeah, Helen and Aline came for a week and then Mark came for two,” Ty explained. “Helen brought me a keychain for my bag, and she brought me a copy of A Study In Scarlet. Of course, I already own it, but this one was a different edition.” Ty paused. “Am I boring you?”

“Never,” Kit replied. Ty looked at the other boy and saw the other boy staring at him. Kit then whispered something, so quietly Ty almost didn’t here him, “I love you Ty, I love you.” Ty stood still, his body refusing to move. Plenty of people said I love you, but those were just words. And even if Kit did mean them, that didn’t mean he meant them in a romantic way. 

By the time Ty came out of his frozen state Kit had already turned and begun to run in the other direction. Kit was fast, but Ty was faster. He caught up to Kit in no time even though the other boy had a head start and grabbed his wrist. Kit spun around, his eyes filled with tears that hadn’t fell yet.

“Can I-” Ty asked. “Can I kiss you?”

“Of course,” Kit asked. Ty pressed his lips to Kit’s, and the kiss was everything Ty could have imagined. When they finally pulled apart Kit had the same ridiculous grin from earlier on his face.

“We’re going to be late to school,” Ty said.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well it’s the truth.”

“Won’t be the first time.” 

“For me it will be.”

“I forgot what a goody two-shoes you are.”

“Fuck you.” Ty took Kit’s hand and smiled as they finished their walk to school.

Maybe twin sisters weren’t so bad.

Ty’s phone buzzed.

Livvy: Get your mans bitch

He took it back, twin sisters were definitely that bad.

[booksandwords]

Instinct by Sherrilyn McQueen

Series: Chronicles of Nick, #6 Read time: 2 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: You were kind to me and I don’t believe in repaying kindness with cruelty. — Xevikan Daraxerxes

God Xev breaks my heart. A whole lot of the support cast in CoN are heartbreaking but there is something else about Xevikan that is just something else. He is pain, PTSD and power. “To give you an inkling, Gautier, I was the only ancient god born who could kill a Chthonian.”, look he is terrifying powerful and I adore him. I love Caleb I do but his inability to listen to Xev's side of the Liliana disaster makes me want to cry, slap him and then say 'what would Liliana say to you now'. Xev is tortured by that moment and we see it, I want to see more of it because there is trauma there that needs to understood. His reaction to Aeron says a lot. Oh and I'm so pleased with how we've met Aeron, I knew of him but not his story. Though there is something truly musing about seeing Xev as an Egyptian Mau nicknamed Mr. Fuzzy Boots., of course, Xev hates the name. Nick and Xev have one of the best relationships in the series. Nick is the only person who sees Xev. I know that was an unusual start, I needed to get it out of my system.

While Illusion helps the readers understand Kody and her parentage and family, Instinct deals as best as it can with Calebs. But Caleb's family is, at best, complicated. And this entire book is essentially done with Caleb absent due to the monster of the week. That monster of the week was someone I had not even thought of. I'm not sure entirely where this fits in. At times it feels like it follows on almost immediately from Illusion, at times it feels like some time has passed. But there is one line I found interesting "He’d only known it existed for less than two years." between Infinity and the end of Instinct is less than two years, and there is a year-long gap in there somewhere. There is a lot to digest coming out of this. All the characters in play, the changes in the world in dynamic and the new pieces of lore to deal with. The plot boils down to Nick working with his allies to save Cherise and Caleb and deciding whom he can trust. CoN books seem to have simplistic plots but the plot is not the point of them, they are character and lore driven. And the plot does well to display the characters in different lights. It gives some idea of where this might be going and Ambrose's shocking appearance was not a good sign. I really enjoyed this it moves at a good pace and doesn't try to do anything too smart. But I really wish there were family trees for some of these characters somewhere. That conversation between Xev and Mennie gets complicated fast even knowing the players. That said the ignorance is in line with Nick's knowledge base so it does fit.

All right have a dump of notes because otherwise, this review becomes obscenely long.

The six generals of the ušumgallu. Grim, Bane and Laguerre who live permanently earthside. The others who had to be called, Xevikan, Livia and Yrre.

The six primal gods. Those of the light; Razer, Cam and Verlyn. Those of the dark; Noir, Azure and Braith. Braith is complicated, while she aligns to the dark she is more grey. Two of the primary gods are missing; Razer and Braith. Verlyn was captured.

It wasn’t easy being Death. Made it hard to make friends. Harder still to keep them. No one was ever really happy to see you. Being around anyone tended to make them nervous and jumpy. Really sucked most days." — Being is Grim's head is something different. That is where we spend the prologue.

Braith got screwed by her siblings. I don't blame her from hiding from them for such a long time.

Zeitjägers. That's Germanic and German is a constructive language. Zeit is time. Jäger is hunter. Zeitjägers are entirely Sherri's creation as far as I can tell. But German is an interesting choice linguistically.

“Believe it or not, he can be quite charming when he’s not psychotic. And Hekate has always had a thing for bad boys.” — This about Noir. This is right after we meet Dagon, their son.

“That was you what done that with Zeus and them Arcadians and gots into all that trouble? Ooo, I remember that. That was so bad for you, but so nice for you to do! You the Simi’s hero.” — mine too Simi queen, mine too. Long story short Dagon helped Lycaon create the Were-hunters. I didn't know we knew him. And with his parentage, I'm not surprised he's willing to rebel.

Oh Noir, how did you get that body?  And can please gtfo so we can have it back?

I knew Aeron was going to be important but I didn't understand why.

“But be warned with that lineup, Malachai, you have chosen one of the most powerful groups ever assembled. Together, they could wield enough power to one day kill you.” — Damn Nick that is a smart play. It's an insurance policy. Also good choices, they are all super intelligent in their own fields too.

As an aside. I can't remember another character like Liliana. A character with a shattering impact who is never met. She feels like more than Caleb's wife at times, she feels like an anchor for him. As Nick points out other characters in Sherri's verses have this but we spend substantial time with them in flashbacks. That is not the case with Liliana.

Am I the only one reading this series that feels like there is a book missing? When did Nick find out about Mennie/Ma'at, Nashira, his brother, Monakribos (well his name), in some ways even the names of the 6 source? These aren't just important to Nick, they are important to US. While I do read the Dark-Hunter novels as well and am aware of some of the surrounding lore the primary intended audience of the CoN series would not be. The DH novels are aimed at adults and contain content as such, the CoN novels are aimed at those in their teens.

I want to add this too... this is what an Egyptian Mau looks like.

And when you know Xev has an attitude (for a reason) this is perfect.

[best-enemies]

I have to write an actual review on Gallifrey TW4 for the podcast I’m in but I have a writer’s block, so here are some of my thoughts on the box because I need to yell about it somewhere and my friends are pissed that I keep yelling on twitter. Spoilers ahead!

Don’t expect anything coherent to come out of this post I’m just going to throw stuff in this post and if you get it you get it lol. It’s not like I have fully recovered from the blow anyway... 

Deception is a great introdution to the box and probably one of the best Gallifrey audios. I hate it when the OT4 gets separated (and that it happens all the time!), and in this case it happens between Narvin and Leela. However, it’s always great to see Leela working on her own and interacting with other people. When she tried to save those people from the resistance, the way she dealt with the situation even when she felt lost because she couldn’t trust her senses - a tool Leela values a lot as a warrior and a hunter - was absolutely incredible and it reminded me (not that I could ever forget that) of how much I love and admire her. 

Listening to them being inside the distortion field felt like a really bad trip 

All I could think throughout the box and not just Deception is that Leela had a crush on Eris and man I can’t blame her at all not only he was a great guy he’s really good looking and I got a crush on him too akshdashdkjaks

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really like Livia. She’s not evil, she just makes a lot of bad choices and she has this problem of being too much on the fence, which is not the characteristic of a true leader. She was never one. But still, even if I don’t remember the content of the earlier audios she’s in I’ve always liked her. And I liked that she finally chose a side in the end. I mean, she did when she helped the resistance, and that was a good beginning.

 Also can I interest you with my headcanon that she was Romana’s girlfriend at the Academy and they broke up? Lol Anyways, when she heard that Romana had “died” she was shocked and later on complimented her as a person and I kind of wish we saw more of them on good terms

Now, on Dissolution: I love Narvin. That’s pretty much it lol. Before starting Gallifrey my friend gave me a spoiler which was basically, “you’re gonna love Narvin”. Well, at first I really liked his voice - it was funny and cute and voices are an important thing to me. Of course, even if he seemed funny to me, unfortunately he was a total xenophobic asshole. He had convictions, he had layers which made him very interesting, but still, an asshole. Which makes me really proud to see how far he has come, how much he’s grown. When he joined Romana’s side I soon realized that my friend was right; Narvin had one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. He went from Romana’s political rival, if I could put it that way, to one of her most trusted allies and best friends. And he found out that he could still fight for and protect his home, but using the right tools, doing it the right way. Dissolution showed that contrast between the old Narvin and what he wanted and the new Narvin, and honestly? I could almost call this episode a moment of relief amongst the chaos. Narvin has become one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse and one of my all time favorites as well.

Alright... now we get to Beyond *deep breaths*. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I spent months since listening to Unity living in a total hell not knowing if Romana was alive or not. I couldn’t believe that that was her ending, that she wouldn’t show up again for their last hurrah, and that my favorite companion ever was gone forever. But then, BF announced the cover, and the description for the episodes, and her name came up, and I could finally breath. My friend and I started theorizing that maybe Braxiatel had dematerialized the TARDIS around her and saved her in the last second - which is kind of what happened, I mean, the description said he wasn’t ready to give up on her! So they go to that place called Beyond, and shit happens. Those ravenous bitches were there eating people and shit. They even ate Narvin - I almost started crying in the middle of the bus, telling myself he wasn’t our Narvin, but he was a Narvin and it still hurt. I wanted to fight those ravenous myself. And not just that, Romana went through hell watching Leela die in front of her, and her reaction was really heartbreaking. 

Aaand that kind of brings me to a point here, something that bothered me. Romana and Brax, as always, spent the audio bickering a little, but they had their moments as well. Like when Brax says that it’s good to see her smile again, when he says (sorry I don’t remember it word by word) something like, she couldn’t die and that she’s supposed to be the best of the Time Lords, when she calls him her friend, and when she asks with a soft voice if he’s coming back to Gallifrey. And it was sweet. Like, they have a lot of issues, but they also have good feelings towards each other. Despite everything they care about each other, and it shows. Which is why I got really confused about Romana’s reaction when Brax was eaten by the ravenous. I remember I even thought she wasn’t around when it happened, that he had left and was somewhere else (I have a little difficulty paying attention), but then my friend said she was. So I was like... wait, she saw her friend, whom she’s known for most of her life (and more than she can even remember) die in a truly horrible way and didn’t even react to that? I’m not blaming Romana, I think this is really out of character for her. She may have difficulty expressing her feelings but she would never, ever react so coldly to the death of a friend. 

Now, on Brax’s death... I was really devastated. At first, as always I got confused and thought the older Brax was an older version of him, somehow. Even if he died, I was like, this is confusing, but it’s Brax? So I was weary, but still, I thought “well at least he’s safe now, on another universe in the Beyond”. But then my friend said “no, that’s an alternative Brax, the one we know is dead”. And that’s when I felt my stomach drop. IT HURT SO BAD. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know everything about Brax, or about the depth of his character, I’m still very early on the Benny audios and only have listened to him on Gally and a few audios here and there. People who have more knowledge on him say that the way he was written wasn’t really accurate, and that can be true, but I won’t get into that because I don’t know for myself. Still, Brax is one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever known. I loved him from the beginning. I got mad at him so many times during the series, felt as betrayed as Romana did, heard about a lot of dark shit he’s done, but still I could never hate him. I got a little bit too attached to him, which is why his death felt absurd and unnecessarily cruel. I don’t think for a moment that Brax deserved that, as I said I don’t know everything about him but something in my heart tells me that things could’ve gone another way. I knew he could die in the finale but not like this. And it’s a bit hard to put into words how much I hate the ending he got and how much I’ll miss him. I just hope he comes back, I mean, he always does, BF writers need to figure something out I don’t even care lol

I had to edit the post because my dumb ass forgot about one of my favorite and at the same time one of the most bittersweet moments of Beyond: Brax asking about the Doctor and saying leaving Gallifrey was a “family thing”. I love them and there isn’t enough stuff out there from the Lungbarrow siblings for me. He talks so fondly of the Doctor and now all I think about is that he never mentioned him in the series but thought of him on the last hours of his life... brb I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom

Oh god. Okay, Homecoming. I’ll start on a light note and say some stuff about Hot Rassilon: Richard Armitage nailed it. I’ve always liked him as an actor and I got thrilled when he was announced. His voice is like, the one I want to hear when I get my name called up in Heaven - or Hell, which is where I’m going - and his speeches were really powerful. Still, I wish they could’ve given him more to do. Of course, I understand that this is where they wanted to go with him - Hot Rassilon going batshit crazy and calling himself a god and coming up with some stupid fanfiction about the Time Lords becoming gods of everything, yada yada. I loved his interactions with the Dalek Emperor, the first thing I thought (besides the fact that it was really funny) was that it showed two despots with a god complex playing chess with the universe and discarding their people as garbage, fighting for their own personal power and not for the collective. Of course, I don’t expect the Daleks to care about each other - they want to spread throughout the galaxies and gain absolute power, not bring social well-being to their own. But that should apply to the Time Lord Society, and we see that Hot Rassilon doens’t give a flying fuck about that. 

I feel like I should reinforce the fact that I actually hate Rassilon. I call him hot but I hate him. I can do both

Once again, I need to point out the emotional moments between the galligang. It all felt so off. As someone pointed out here (sorry, I saw the post but don’t recall who said it now): it’s a war and there’s little time for grief, however, it’s not like they’re just grieving the loss of a group of people they’re not familiar with. The galligang are the closest thing they have to a family with each other. They’ve been through all sorts of things together, created a deep bond and have crossed the universe to find each other. And then, that Dalek ship blows up, with Narvin still in it, and... nothing. Leela even asked Romana if they could’ve done something and she says if the bracelet thingy had been working he would’ve come back already. And that’s it. At first I didn’t even understand, I was like “wait, he was really still inside the ship? And it blew up?”, because once again, I couldn’t tell from the way they reacted, I was only sure when they had that exchange. And of course, I started sobbing, because my favorite character was dead. I guess the writers wanted to focus on the war and political aspects and shit but did they forget that Gallifrey was about these three specific people and that their relationship was the core of the series, not just the politics? 

Okay, moving on. Leela and Romana once again end up on Gallifrey and run into Hot Rassilon. Did I mention I found him a bit scary? Well, I did mark me down as scared & horny.

Aaaaaand he decides to lock Romana up in a pocket universe. It surprised me, because I thought he would execute her. I find that he wanted to do that because Romana was the president who wanted to take Gallifrey into the future, to make it a prosperous and advanced society who left all their fears of the unknown and prejudices behind. And now he locked her up in the past. Get it? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but this was the first thing I thought. But I cannot even begin to tell you all how RELIEVED I am that she’s alive, and that there could be a possibility - even if a very tiny one - that she could escape. It’s Doctor Who, so everything is possible. EDIT: Now I’m sad because Leela will die after the end of the Time War and Romana will know about that, and all her friends are gone, and she believes the Doctor isn’t the man she once knew so she can’t rely on him, and she’s alone, and I’m FUMING because I’m still processing the whole thing and I hadn’t realized that. She’s totally alone and now I’m crying once again. I HATE IT HERE

As for Leela, I want to see what’s next for her. I haven’t gotten into the other Time War stuff yet, this is my first introduction to the actual thing, but I heard that she’s gonna fight alongside the War Doctor and might be on the War Doctor Begins boxset. But man listening to her and Romana having to depart like that broke my heart. And now I know that she’ll be protecting Gallifrey because of Romana, because Romana represents the best in Gallifrey.

*Phew* okay, that was a lot. I don’t even know if I covered everything, but I managed to make more sense than I thought I would at the beginning of this post. I don’t know man I’ve been crying for hours, went to sleep at 2am crying because of Narvin and Brax and woke up at 7am and my first thought was them, dying again... I don’t even know anymore, I guess I’ll either focus on uni and my job or curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of my life lolololol

Now I want to write a post with my theories on how the entire galligang is alive and in the epilogue in my head they have reunited and are all living together happily. Maybe it’ll be my next post.

[fallingfavourites]

finale here we come!! am I really about to read a 13k fic at 12am? yes! and I will enjoy every second of it! OMG VIGILANTE SHIT REFERENCE SPOTTED IN THE SUMMARY!

- ... If he was truly innocent, why is he trying to cover his tracks?” - SPEAK ON IT!!! the whole qoute would've been too long to put on here but YES LETS GO!!!

FOGGY AND LIV MOMENT YESSSS the start of this chapter has me too hyped it's all about to go down hill 😞

I'm on the edge of my seat as if I don't even know what's happening!!

- “At the carousel, remember? You rode with me in the ambulance, stayed at the hospital until I woke up. Where’s he?” - oh that scene is going to hit different when I get to it after this 😭😔

- The ability to see something good in someone so far off their path. You never understood that ideology until recently but now… Now it felt like that was your own code. - June foreshadowing 🙂‍↕️ (most likely not intentionally since she didn't exist yet 🤞)

- “Seema wanted me to te-“ - you can't see me rn but my mouth is WIDE open, WDYM SHE DIDNT GET TO FINISH THE SENTENCE 😭😭

- “No.. No, he was gone before I got here. I just heard the shot.” - HER STILL PROTECTING DEX AFTER THAT OMG 😭

MY GIRL OMG 😞😞 SHES GOING THROUGH IT ☹️

- Now Ray was dead and it was your fault. - forcing my way through the screen rn to tell her it's not!!!

LATELY IVE BEEN DRESSING FOR REVENGE

me when livia is on her vigilante shit again

- Making them suffer was an art, and you had spent years developing your craft. - this is such a gag. I'm going to be thinking about this line for the rest of my life.

omg I am SO into it I'm completely forgetting to put down my reactions 😭 the tension between her and dex, I'm eating it UP!!

you write liv and Matt's arguments SO fucking well (you write everything insanely well tbf)!! like I always feel genuinely uneasy when I'm reading them, almost as if it's something I'm not suppose to be witnessing. It feels so personal to them.

- “You didn’t ruin that guy. There was hardly anything to ruin.” - welcome back to another episode of matt murdock pissing me off! 😄 (matt I love you deeply but please stfu 🤗)

- “Why are you so bitter?” You shouted. “You have everyone back and it’s still not enough.” - He is literally such a hater sometimes 😭 him and june def love hating on people (specifically livs exes) together 🙂‍↕️

I love when Livia calls him out on his bullshit

- “Забавно. Я собирался сказать тебе то же самое.” (Funny. I was going to tell you the same thing.) “Держись подальше от меня сегодня вечером.” He said simply, causing a small scoff from your chest. (Stay out my way tonight.) - my parents are fighting again ☹️

- ...for being exactly what he wanted you to be when you had first met. - EXACTLY!! she finally became the person he saw in her back in s1 and now he's being a dick about it

- “No!” Matt yelled in response. You made a face to yourself and knew you should pull the gun back you didn’t, not even when Matt came to your side to yell at Fisk. “God knows I want to, but you don’t get to destroy who I am.” - yayyyy! yippeee! he didn't do it!! (it's 1am I'm getting tired idk bestie 😭)

- “You will go back to prison and you will live the rest of your miserable life in a cage, knowing you’ll never have Vanessa. That this city rejected you, it beat you. We beat you!” Matt demanded and you were proud he found a way back to himself. - uhhmm... so about that...

this was EVERYTHING!! i should just stop here, not read the epilogue and not start the punisher spin off to keep myself sane, bc I fear I'll actually lose it 😭 (i will most definitely be reading all of it)

Billy Russo will HATE to see me coming (i will fight him)

MAD AT GOD - MATT MURDOCK

Series Finale - Vigilante Shit

tags: @ironprincessstranger @americaarse @johnmurphys-sass @dusstory @astrobees @mayasaurus--rex @woowwwee // eight // epilogue // masterlist

Pairing: Matt x Livia

Word Count: 13,587 (and you wonder why it took me so long.)

Summary: Ladies always rise above but when one lady’s simply had enough, revenge takes human form in Hell’s Kitchen’s Exodus. With her rightful partner beside her, they take on the Kingpin and his former Bullseye.

“Do you affirm that the testimony you are about to give in the case now before the court will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?” The bailiff asked simply as you took your seat on the stand. “This you affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury?”

“Yes.” You nodded calmly. “I do.”

“For the record, please state your name.” The judge said.

“I’m Special Agent Alivia Yersova, FBI SWAT. I’ve been with the bureau for a bit less than a year and all statements made here today are my own. My testimony does not reflect the beliefs or positions of the FBI and I accept any and all consequences my statements may bring.” You answered, keeping your eyes ahead as Tower stood and took his place in front of you. “In the short amount of time that I’ve been with the FBI, I’ve witnessed my bureau, specifically members of my team, fall victim to Fisk’s vicious manipulation.”

“Please explain in detail the crimes you’ve witnessed.” He said simply.

“I’ve witnessed slander and false accusations against one of the Nelson and Murdock attorneys responsible for his first arrest. I’ve witnessed a breach of his house arrest. I’ve witnessed his recruitment of agents and using those agents to kill people, both civilians and other agents. I’ve witnessed him coerce other crime syndicates into complying with a tax to ensure protection from federal prosecution.”

“What agents have you seen?”

“Special Agents Arinori and Poindexter, Special Agent in Charge Hattley. Special Agent Rahul Nadeem and myself witnessed but never participated past that and a few targeted raids. Neither of us pulled the trigger for Wilson Fisk, but we did nothing to stop it. There were others but I didn’t interact with them much.”

“The other agents that were mentioned by Agent Nadeem?”

“I believe so. I don’t remember their names but I could pick them out of a lineup.”

“And how many people were killed?”

“SAC Hattley killed Agent Winn. Special Agent Poindexter killed multiple people, I believe he killed the most. Given his unique skill set, he was a prime target for Fisk’s games. Innocent people died because of Wilson Fisk, good people like Father Lantom, because no one on my team was brave enough to come forward.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Who would believe a novice agent who helped put Fisk away in the first place? He knew no one would believe me if I spoke up sooner, given my very outspoken opinions against him. There was an instance, when he brought up the Nelson and Murdock attorney, that I had caused a scene. My words were driven by my sentimentality regarding the firm since I did have a small stint as an attorney there. From there, it didn’t matter what I knew and he recognized that. It didn’t matter how many times Poindexter brought me along without telling me what was really happening. It didn’t matter who I saw get killed or the fact that I was against him leaving the prison to begin with. He knew my credibility was low and I had no evidence so I wasn’t a threat to his plans… Not until someone else had enough. Agent Nadeem helped give me the courage to come forward with what I’ve seen.”

You glanced around at the jury and found them all - save for the one juror - interested in what you would say next. Tower offered a small, proud smile and Ray listened intently with his hands folded in front of him. He gave you a small nod of reassurance.

“It’s a scary thing, to feel like you have no choice but to do things you don’t agree with. Sometimes you go along for self preservation, sometimes for the people you care about. But at the end of it all, we have our limits. We can only take so much deceit before we have to do something…” You allowed your eyes to water, a shakiness to tint your voice and a slight hesitation between your sentences. “I let him convince me that my word wouldn’t matter, that I- I would just be some voice in the wind. I let him take my conviction. But I’m not going to stand down, not anymore. Wilson Fisk is afraid of what we came here to say because it’s true. The attack on our transport wasn’t a coincidence, nor was it an accident. He attempted to have us killed because of what we know and what we came here to say. If he was truly innocent, why is he trying to cover his tracks?”

“You mentioned repercussions before. Do you worry the FBI will punish you for this?”

“Not the FBI, but the agents Fisk controls. My SAC is in his pocket. My partner is in his pocket. Besides Agent Nadeem, in that hotel, I’m alone. No one protects me the way they protect him… If I lose my job, fine. If I lose my partner, okay. But I cannot stand to lose my loved ones.”

“Thank you, Agent.”

You and Ray were led out after that and you met with your friends in the hall. While Matt chatted with Ray, Foggy offered you a proud smile and moved to hug you but you simply pushed his hands away and began pacing a short distance. You pushed your fingers into your hair and tugged slightly on the ends.

Foggy looked over to Matt for help, but he was still in his conversation with Ray. Knowing that a win today would help ensure Matt stayed on the right track, Foggy decided not to cut in and talk to you on his own. He stepped in front of you and put his hands on your upper arms. You looked at him with your lips pressed together and your eyebrows up.

“Talk to me. What’s going on?” Your friend tried, ducking down to meet your eyes.

“It’s shot. The whole thing is shot.” You answered quietly, trying not to gain any more attention. “He didn’t just know about the trial.”

“What do you mean?”

“So what happens now?” Ray asked, drawing both Foggy’s and your attention. His brows furrowed but you stepped past him before he could speak.

You grabbed Matt’s arm and pulled him a couple steps away as Foggy answered Ray’s question.

You leaned in to speak quietly with your hand still gripping his arm and Matt’s hand landed on your elbow.

“What do you hear?” You asked softly.

His brows furrowed as he listened in, taking a step closer to the doors. As he focused, the grip he had on your arm tightened. You closed your eyes and cursed quietly.

“No, no, no.” Matt muttered and you nodded. “The jurors.”

“Fisk got to them.” You confirmed and opened your eyes, rolling your shoulders back and regaining your composure. “I felt it when we went in but I was hoping I was wrong.”

You glanced around the halls and felt a surge of emotions outside. Everyone still seemed entranced in Karen’s press conference. You had to give it to her, the woman was brave.

After a few anxiety ridden minutes, Tower came out of the courtroom with an apologetic expression as he passed your group. You opened your mouth to speak but he simply shook his head and headed to the cameras outside. You tapped your implant and listened in on the live broadcast from outside and you felt your stomach drop.

At this time, the grand jury had elected not to indict Wilson Fisk. But this office, under my leadership, will pursue every lead, every piece of evidence that leads us to uncovering the truth. The agents that testified today were incredibly brave and we encourage anyone with evidence regarding this case to come forward.

Everything outside continued to spike as you shut off your device and one familiar feeling stood out among the chaos.

“Karen.” You said to yourself as the boys began moving. You looked at them for a second before making a move to the doors. A hand closed around your arm and dragged you in the other direction.

“No, I have to-“ You groaned and tried to pull away but you were shoved forward instead. Looking over, you saw it was Matt who dragged you with him.

You took one last look over your shoulder before giving in and following the group. They hurried into the closest restroom and you locked the door behind you all. Ray pushed through and took a minute to himself while being quite literally sick to his stomach.

“It’s not gonna end like this, Ray. We’re not gonna let it.” Matt promised while leaning against the stalls.

Foggy stood by the sinks and you slid down with your back against the door until you were sitting up on your toes. You had elbows on your propped up knees and your chin resting behind your gently balled fists. Your eyes were trained on the floor, tracing the grout lines between the tiles.

Your brain was running through every scenario you could. You thought about whether or not he’d send Dex after you and Ray. It’d have to wait. There’s no way Dex could take you both out in a locked down courthouse. Would he go after Karen for her press conference? Or had he already wrecked her credibility? All you knew for sure was that it needed to end.

“The system will work.” Foggy ensured and you sighed to yourself. 

“You still believe that?” Matt scoffed and you looked up at him.

“Stop it.” You said quietly and he offered a sarcastic expression towards you.

“We’ve been here before. We can fix this.. Tower will impanel another grand jury and try again. We’re not done here. Right, Livia?”

“What keeps Fisk away from them this time though?” You asked simply as you turned towards your friend. “I wanna do this the right way, Foggy, but it’s not looking too good for us.”

“I told you this would happen.” Matt cut in.

“Matt, stop.” You sighed and pushed yourself to stand. “Fighting each other isn’t gonna help.”

“I need to know where you’re going.” Foggy blocked Matt’s path.

“Guys.” You warned firmly as Matt said “I’m gonna find Tower. Make sure he tries again.”

“I’m going with you.” You offered and you saw him roll his eyes behind his glasses. “Unless there’s a problem?”

“No.” He said tightly. “No problem.”

“Good.” You nodded before leaning closer to Foggy. “Take care of him. Don’t let him lose his nerve.”

Your friend nodded and you grabbed Matt’s arm on the way out.

“God, y’know what, we should’ve just done it our way from the start.” Matt mumbled. 

“Our way?” You laughed. “This is our way. The other thing? That’s my way, Matthew. You’ll never be able to do it and it’s not a bad thing. You can’t force yourself to.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I almost wanna dare you to try because I know you won’t.”

“A lot has changed, Livia.”

“Sure, but people don’t completely flip on their morals.” You scoffed.

“Maybe I did. You don’t know.”

“Actually I do, because you’re too strong to do it. You have a certain faith in people that you can’t learn. If you were capable of doing what I do, Dex wouldn’t be around anymore. You believe that people can do good. It’s not the worst ideology to hold on to.”

“Clearly not everyone can.”

You stopped walking and yanked his arm to stop him. He groaned and faced you, a tight grip on his cane and a clench to his jaw.

“This isn’t just about you!” You insisted. “You do understand that, right?”

“Of course I know that. You really think I don’t?”

“Why is it your responsibility then?”

“Because it is!”

“So why didn’t you work this hard to stop me?” You challenged quietly. “If not everyone can be better, why didn’t you try to kill me? I gave you every reason to give up on me, treat me this exact same way, but you never did.”

“You’re not the same, Livia.” He sighed.

“Thankfully, neither are you and I. There’s always been someone taking people from me. Took my parents, Marc, Frank, Yelena and Nat, Billy, even you - twice - and Foggy, now Dex. I’m not gonna lose you a third time.”

“Livia, I didn’t realize-“

“No, you never do. You never see beyond what you’re doing. You do this and there’s no coming back from it. Something in your heart is gonna change and you can’t change it back. You can’t undo it.”

“I’m sorry. I just want this to be over with.”

“I know but…” You sighed and looked around, shifting your weight between your feet.

You were hit with a sudden feeling of determination. You turned towards where it came from, the bathroom you left Foggy and Ray in. With a quiet curse, you hurried back, only to find Ray gone and Foggy knocked out.

You screamed out in frustration and slammed an angry fist into the mirror, watching it shatter and become stained with the bloody print of your knuckles. You pushed out of the room and back into the hall, scanning the crowds in an effort to find him. But you saw nothing.

Ray was gone. And the clock was ticking on what kind of countermove Fisk would make against him. Against all of you.

You practically ran out of the courthouse, pushing past various security and reporters. They shouted questions, mentioning your badge and asking what side you were testifying for, but ignored them all. Some yelled that you were working for Fisk, you were one of the corrupted agents, but all you offered them was the middle finger.

From there, you ran home. The sun was already setting and you were running out of time. You changed quickly and used your mask to scan as far as it could.

You had finally heard from Rick and you were talking to Seema while wandering the streets.

“Is he gonna be okay?” Seema asked towards the end of the conversation.

“I wish I could tell you for sure… But I can’t. What we’ve done has put a massive target on us and our loved ones. All I know is that yours and Sami’s safety is all he cares about.”

“Tell him I love him.”

“I will. When I find him, he’ll call for goodbyes and then you can send a pin to that number I gave you. After that, ditch the phone.”

It wasn’t until hours later did you find him.

He went home.

You practically sprinted through the neighborhood to get there. The front door was open, side gate cracked, and the police tape was stretched from someone pushing it aside. The house was empty but you could see two figures in the backyard.

“…I can help you cut a deal with the DA.” Ray tried. “We can take him down, us and Livia.”

Dex gripped his gun tightly, though he hadn’t lifted it yet. His entire body was tense, practically vibrating with the anticipation of what he would do next. There was still a heavy apathy from Dex but there was an undercut of hesitation. Ray was still his friend, and that meant something to him. Not enough to change his mind, but something. Something you might be able to use against him.

“No.. That’s not gonna happen, Ray.” Dex shook his head with a small scoff.

“Dex.” You said carefully, pushing your mask up and lifting your hands in surrender. You walked slowly, putting yourself between the two former friends. “Think about this.”

“Move.” He answered tightly.

“I can help you, if you let me… Don’t make me your enemy, please.”

You tried to emphasize that hesitation but he would shove it back down as soon as it came up.

“I feel more myself than I have in my whole life. Fisk gave me that.”

“This isn’t you talking. This?” You gestured slightly between the two of you. “This is Fisk. He’s gotten in your head, Dex, and he’s turned us against each other. Don’t let him win! ”

“You don’t know me!” He shouted and you instinctively woke your Bite. “See?” He chuckled humorously. “You don’t really trust me.”

“What happened to the man that helped save my life?” You pressed gently with a pleading expression, taking a tentative step forward as you lowered your hands. Your devices still glowed at your wrists and Dex’s grip on his gun shifted. “At the carousel, remember? You rode with me in the ambulance, stayed at the hospital until I woke up. Where’s he?”

“That wasn’t me. It was you. It was your games.” He spat and your brows dropped and your jaw clenched.

“She cared about you, Dex.” Ray said from your side with a hand on your shoulder. “We both did. The only person that changed that was you.”

“Let me help you.” You tried that soft spot again. “I can’t do anything for you after this. I won’t.”

“I don’t care.” He shook his head and you nodded slightly, slowly moving a hand to reach one of the weapons at your belt. “I don’t need your help.”

“As long as I’m alive, my family’s at risk.” Ray admitted, though there was no hesitation.

Sadness, definitely, but it wasn’t any sudden revelation. Instead, it was acceptance. Understanding.

“Ray?” You asked over your shoulder.

“It’ll be alright.”

“Let’s go, Ray.” Dex said, lifting his gun. You sidestepped to put yourself in front of Ray again as you drew your own weapon. “Move, Livia.”

There was a slight plea in his expression, though his body language didn’t falter.

Something human was left in Dex, some tiny flicker of light. Something like that used to be enough for Matt to believe in, to give them a chance to change. Without him honoring his own prior morals, you realized that was part of why you didn’t give up on Dex.

Not the sex or the friendship. But the hope, hope that months of running around with the altar boy vigilante attached to your hip pinned to your own conscience. The ability to see something good in someone so far off their path. You never understood that ideology until recently but now… Now it felt like that was your own code.

But clearly, the flicker wasn’t enough. And you couldn’t work by someone else’s morality.

“Thought you were good enough to shoot around me.” You taunted as you lined up your own gun.

“I’m not going anywhere with you, Dex.” Ray said and you felt that wave of acceptance again. “Whatever you need to do, you do it here.”

Ray had accepted his own death. And the only way you could stop it would be to kill Dex. You turned to face Ray, purposefully putting your body in front of his with the hopes that Dex wouldn’t shoot through.

“We can still get out of this.” You tried, feeling a deep regret settle in your stomach. “I can-“

“And do what, run? I can’t put my family through anything else, Livia.”

“Ray, please. I can’t bring your family back to you if you’re in a body bag.”

“Hey.” He put a hand on your shoulder. “Just do this the right way, alright?”

“Seema wanted me to te-“

Before you could get the sentence out, the gun fired behind you. The bullet nicked your ear but hit its mark.

You backed away with unsteady legs while Ray fell to the ground with a bullet hole in his forehead. Your gun fell from your hands as you collapsed to your knees. Almost instantly your eyes watered as you stared at the now corpse of your friend. It was almost enough to make you scream as you sat beside the man that risked everything to stand up to Fisk, to stand up for what he believed in. To protect his family.

His family.

Your heart broke for Seema and Sami, and you thought about who would give them the news. The news that you had failed. You didn’t keep him safe.

“She loves you.” You said quietly as your entire body ran cold. “Seema wanted me to tell you she loves you.”

Your hand shook as you reached for your scar and pressed it, sliding along until you heard the dial tone.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“This is.. This is Exodus.” You spoke shakily with your accent, fighting to keep control as the tears fell down your cheeks. “I’m at.. Fisk had him killed. He’s- He’s dead. I need.. I need an ambulance or police or something. Just send someone!”

“Exodus? Okay um…” The line went quiet as the operator spoke to someone else on the side, probably asking advice with a vigilante on the line. “Where are you? Who’s dead?”

“Special-“ Your voice broke. “Special Agent Rahul Nadeem. He shot him in his own backyard.”

“Did you see who killed him?”

“No.. No, he was gone before I got here. I just heard the shot.”

“Okay. We have units en route. Can you stay with Mr.Nadeem until they arrive?”

“No, I- I have to go. They’ll arrest me. I- I have to- I have to go. I can’t be here when they arrive.”

“Wait.”

“He has a wife and a son. Just tell um, tell Detective Brett Mahoney to contact Nadeem’s legal team. Someone has to tell them.”

“Ma’am, please, just wait until-“

“I can’t… I can’t, I’m sorry.”

You ended the call and looked down at Ray.

“I’m sorry, Ray. I’m so sorry.”

You sat back for a moment to pull your knees to your chest. You wrapped your arms around them and rocked slightly as you let yourself cry. You tried to keep the noise down, but small wails left your throat. When you heard the sirens down the street, you had to pull yourself together and collect your gun. With one last look, you hopped the fence and made your way back to the apartment.

You tried to push the guilt away but it came back to gnaw at you. You should’ve just killed Dex. You shouldn’t have tried to reason with him. You should’ve taken him down when you got there. Why did you reveal yourself? Why didn’t you kill him? Why didn’t you do anything?

You had your own ways for a reason. Using Matt’s wouldn’t bring back the man you knew. And it wouldn’t save anyone.

Now Ray was dead and it was your fault.

All you could do was keep moving forward. But there was nothing more Livia could do. The chance with the law and by the books was over. You wanted to stay on the path, to do things Foggy’s way - the right way - but you were at your wits end. Every time you tried to do things right, you lost. You wouldn’t lose again.

You wouldn’t dress yourself as Exodus to serve a villain. You wouldn’t dress as Exodus to serve the innocent. You would dress for revenge. You would dress to renew the sense of fear that your vigilante persona - just her name - used to invoke. To make Ben Poindexter pay for the lives he took. To make Wilson Fisk pay for the crimes he’d committed. And if they paid with their lives, so be it.

You wouldn’t be nice any longer. Both men had pushed you too far.

Killing people was easy. Making them suffer was an art, and you had spent years developing your craft. You would make them regret the moment you were made their enemy.

You ignored the phone calls from Foggy. His voicemails all said he needed to talk to you and he didn’t want to say it on a message, so you knew Brett told them what happened. Other numbers you didn’t recognize called but you ignored them too. Reporters, you figured.

On your way home, you were distracted by the distinct taste of fear. With a small noise of interest, you followed it. You weren’t necessarily shocked to see Matt was there at the source, but it was a surprise to see him with Felix Manning.

“Should’ve called.” You told him as you got to his side.

“Didn’t have time.” He shrugged with that smirk he always used to have back when you found him when you two didn’t know each other’s identities. When things were a lot simpler. “You hear what happened?“

“To Nadeem? How we fucked it up, again.”

“Yeah.” He answered in a whisper.

You nodded quietly and he frowned slightly. He reached for your arm but you crossed them over your chest and peered over the edge, looking at the knot that held Manning’s ankle. You gave the rope a small shake and the man screamed with a new wave of panic.

“What have you gotten so far?” You turned to Matt, though the mask did little to hide his expression. “Stop looking at me like that.”

He opened his mouth for a joke but you smacked his arm before he could get a word out. He laughed quietly and put his hands up in surrender.

“Fisk’s gathering a bunch of figureheads for a wedding.” Matt explained.

“Vanessa’s gonna marry him?” Your brows furrowed and Matt gave a nonchalant shrug. You leaned over the edge and yelled to Manning. “Do we get an invite?”

All he could do was scream.

“Sounds like a no.” Matt answered and you almost smiled, though Manning’s screams were rather distracting.

You groaned loudly before reaching forward. You made a small pulling motion and felt the fear draw out of him. The yellow smoke came to your hand and swirled up your arm and you felt the tingle down your spine as you absorbed it.

“I can give you something better.” Manning called from the end of the rope.

You hummed in interest and climbed to sit on the ledge, feet kicking idly as Matt sat beside you with his ankles crossed. If it hadn’t been for the man dangling just a few feet down, it would’ve been a nice moment together.

“We’re listening.” Matt said simply.

“I witnessed Ms. Marianna order the murder of Agent Nadeem. And Fisk ordered many!” He shouted and you felt a new wave of anger run down your spine. You ground your teeth and balled your hands into fists. Matt’s hand came up to your jaw and pressed gently on the joint to make you release the tension. You made a small noise and took his hand off your face, holding it between your own and dropping into your lap. “Agent Winn. Julie Barnes. I could testify!”

“Где был этот парень раньше?” You muttered and Matt nudged you with his shoulder. “Мог бы позволить ему умереть вместо Рэя.” (Where was this guy earlier? Could’ve let him die instead of Ray.)

“Будь милым.” Matt said with light amusement in his voice. He knew what happened to Ray upset you and he figured you would blame yourself. But at least your words were what he was used to. “Мы могли бы его использовать.” (Be nice. We could use him.)

“Hang on..” You realized and peered over the edge. “We know Winn and Nadeem. Did you say Julie Barnes?”

“Yes! Yes, he did!”

You let out a laugh in celebration and the sound seemed misplaced in the current situation. That was exactly what you had been waiting for. Confirmation. Confirmation of the one thing that could snap Dex, in every sense of the word. Confirmation that Julie Barnes, the woman that he had been obsessing over since before you met him, was dead and that Fisk was to blame.

“Help me get him up.” You told Matt quickly as you climbed back to the roof.

“Why?” Matt asked, though he followed suit.

“Ты хотел подтолкнуть Декса на грань? Вот как мы это делаем.” You answered quickly and he nodded quietly. (You wanted to push Dex to the brink? This is how we do it.)

You got Manning to tell you everything you needed to know about Julie. How she was killed. Where she was killed. Where her body currently was. Everything you needed to throw in Dex’s face and break whatever was left.

A day or two later, you were standing at a press conference at the bureau. It was an official statement regarding Ray and Agent Winn’s deaths. Hattley claimed Ray was mentally unstable, that Karen was a liar and the alleged 911 call from Exodus was fake. You almost laughed when Hattley had to redirect questions about Exodus finding the body, but she admitted it was an agent who killed him, under the guise of self-defense.

You tried to duck out of the office following the press conference but a hand wrapped around your arm tightly. You let out a small wince when you were yanked back before you were redirected and pushed towards one of the conference rooms. You were able to yank your arm free just outside the door, where you saw Seema sitting inside.

“What the hell is this?” You asked sharply as you spun on Dex. “You wanna rub salt in her wounds?”

“She came to us, said she wants to see Ray’s lawyers.” He explained simply.

“So what?”

“So call them.”

“Why? So you can put a bullet in them too?”

“If you don’t, I’ll put a bullet in you.”

“You should’ve done it last time. Too late now.”

“Really wanna do this here?” His brows raised. You glanced around, noting the mostly empty hall. The only other agents were ones you remembered seeing at that meeting. You were outnumbered and while you could likely handle the ordeal, a shoot out in the office wasn’t something you wanted to instigate with everything else you had going on. “You’re so paranoid, Aly. I’ll call him myself. Not like anyone’s gonna hurt him.” Dex smirked and began to back away.

“Dex.” You called out and he paused, allowing you to move closer. “Are you happy now? Ray’s dead. Seema and Sami are alone. Fisk is getting married. Daredevil’s image is shot… Is that what you wanted?”

He chuckled weakly and nodded. “I thought all this empathy crap was done.”

You gave a weak shrug. It wasn’t even an attempt to change his mind. It was just you being an asshole. “One last shot, I guess… Maybe you were right after all. You don’t love me, not anymore at least. You’re incapable of loving anyone, of feeling anything.”

“Careful, Livia. You’re getting predictable.” He tapped a finger under your chin and left.

You huffed a sigh and shot a quick text to Foggy, asking him to come to the bureau. You headed back to the main office and began busying yourself with some paperwork until your friend arrived.

A sharp whistle drew your attention and you looked up to see Dex waving you over. You got to his side as Foggy lifted his phone to take a picture, one you were just in time to smile for.

“Posted to my campaign webpage, and the tens of thousands of police officers that know that I’m here. With you. Helping.” Foggy said firmly and you tried to hide the proud smile.

“Relax, Mr. Nelson. You’re not in any danger.” Dex said lowly, a hand landing on your lower back that you almost jumped away from. “Agent Yersova even came to help put you at ease.”

You jammed an elbow into his ribs and he laughed slightly.

“Besides, you’ll be very useful when you’re the next district attorney.”

“Why am I here?” Foggy looked to you.

“Because you and Ray were friends.” Dex answered instead and you rolled your eyes.

“If you’re expecting him to answer questions, it’ll break privilege, even if the client’s dead.” You explained.

“I’m not asking him to.” It was Dex’s turn to roll his eyes. “Follow me.”

Dex led you and Foggy back to the room where you saw Seema waiting. You wanted to offer her a sincere apology, to comfort her and admit that it was your fault Ray was dead, but Hattley’s presence made you keep those thoughts to yourself.

“We’ll give you the room. Take all the time you need.” Hattley said after a brief exchange between Dex and Seema.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” You managed and she looked at you with slight tears in her eyes. “Ray was a good man.”

Dex’s hand fit tightly to your elbow and he dragged you away. You all left Foggy with Seema and stepped back into the hall.

“Suck it up.” Dex sneered.

“I’m only doing this because I have to.” Hattley snapped back before the two split ways. You let out a sigh and headed back to your desk.

You decided you were going to leave again at lunch, figuring your time at that job was limited anyway so why be a good agent anymore. You had just dropped into your chair, a small cloud of blue proofing out as you did, when Dex grabbed your arm and hauled you away again. You sucked in a breath between gritted teeth and you knew there’d be a bruise there by the end of the day. When you two got to a secluded area, he pushed you against the wall and put his call on speaker. He held a hand against your mouth and your brows furrowed, though you showed no other reaction. You decided against fighting back, knowing it would be more trouble than it was worth.

Plus, you were intrigued.

“I’ve got some free time now. Why don’t we meet up?” Dex said, keeping eye contact with you while pressing that forearm against your chest near your throat as a threat.

“I have a question.” Matt’s voice came from the other side and your eyes went a bit wider. Dex offered a slight smirk as he caught your expression. “Did you enjoy the feeling you got when you killed those birdies? Is that why you’re still killing?”

“Birdies?”

“The ones you killed with rocks. I bet it felt good at first, right?”

“Stop.” You tried, your voice muffled from behind Dex’s hand and he pushed your head to bang against the wall.

“Then it’s never the same after that.”

You put one hand on his chest and the other on his wrist and tried to push Dex off. He growled slightly and pressed harder, causing you to release a small noise when the pressure hit your chest and then a sharp sensation erupted from your still healing stab wound.

“Who was that?” Matt asked suddenly.

“Your little girlfriend.” Dex taunted and you struggled against him, but he leaned into you with more of his body weight. “She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she? ‘Specially when she’s helpless.”

“What do you think Dr. Mercer would say if she could see you now?” Matt continued and you sighed. You wondered if he was purposefully not showing a reaction or if it just didn’t bother him.

You leaned back into the wall and Dex noticed your shift away from him. Dex’s eyes darted between yours but you knew yours were empty. There was no feeling behind your eyes when you looked at Dex, and he recognized that. He recognized that you no longer saw him the same.

Slowly he leaned away but held a finger to his lips to gesture for you to keep quiet. Maybe it actually hurt him for you to give up on him.

Good.

“Got a second?” He spoke finally. “I need a tissue for all the tears I’m crying over my shitty childhood.”

“Have you heard from your friend Julie lately?”

“Что ты делаешь?” You whispered as your brows furrowed, trying to figure out Matt’s plan. You two had talked about bringing it up to Dex together so you could guarantee neither of you were at risk. Why do it now? (What are you doing?)

“You wanna talk to Dr. Mercer, asshole? Keep talking. Or I could send your girlfriend instead.”

“What do you think she’d say if she knew about the innocent people you killed?” Matt continued. “I bet she’d be disappointed, Dex.”

“If she was still alive.” You mumbled.

Dex’s attention snapped to you and a hand was quick to come around your throat to force you back against the wall. The air left your lungs while his hand gripped you tighter and you cursed Matt for starting problems.

“If you hurt Julie-“ He threatened lowly and lifted so your feet could barely reach the ground.

“I never touched her.” You choked out. “She was innocent.”

“Did he?”

“Fisk had her killed. He knew what she meant to you so he killed her, gave himself a chance to replace her as your North Star.” You answered quickly.

He was quiet for a moment while he took in your expression. When he believed you weren’t lying, he eased off.

“When he realized he couldn’t kill me, he went after her… She was an easy mark. I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do.” You added while rubbing your tender throat and he gave a slow nod.

“Don’t tell me that’s sympathy in your voice, Ex.” Matt said.

“Shut up.” You snapped quickly.

“Don’t feel bad for a guy who’s tried to kill us both, multiple times.”

“Shut. Up. It’s not about him.”

“You should stick to beating on people in alleys, cause you’re not gonna get in my head.” Dex said tightly, though you could feel something underlying in his words. It almost felt like.. grief.

Maybe there was something more than a flicker left in Dex. But that wouldn’t change anything. It couldn’t.

“You don’t have to believe us.. Then again, you may wanna ask how I got Manning’s phone.”

“Don’t know, don’t care.” Dex answered sharply.

“Julie wouldn’t approve of your killing people, Dex.”

“Stop. Saying. Her name.” Dex practically growled. The familiar heart of his rage hit you. The soft spot he had for you may have faded away, but he’d always feel a certain way for Julie.

“You said you got some free time? You may wanna check out 16 Canal Place.”

“Why?”

The line cut out after that. Dex slowly turned to face you and your sidestepped carefully to ensure your back was no longer against the wall.

“What’s at Canal Place?” He asked tightly.

“Julie…” You answered quietly. Beneath the surface you were adding to the pressure of his anger, trying to break him. “I’m sorry, Dex. I know she was important to you.”

“What the hell is your deal?” He asked angrily and you took another step back. “What- What- What do you gain from all of this?”

“I had no part in this.” You countered firmly, forgetting about your game for a moment. “All of this-“ You gestured between you two. “-was done without me knowing.”

“Bullshit.” He scoffed.

“I wouldn’t taunt you with this. You know me better than that.”

“Do I?”

“Don’t believe me then.” You shrugged. “I don’t care anymore. I tried being nice, didn’t work. I tried being a bitch, kind of working. I tried empathy, didn’t work.” You pushed past him.

“Where are you going?” He called after you.

“Away from you.”

That night, you took a trip to Canal Place dressed in your latest, modified vigilante costume - compression shirt and vest. You still hadn’t patched your full suit and top. You arrived a few minutes ahead of Dex, but he wasn’t your point. You made your way to the roof and found Matt already there. You made sure to keep your distance, knowing you’d punch him in the teeth if you got too close.

“Wanna tell me what the hell that was on the phone?” You asked simply.

“I knew he wasn’t gonna hurt you.” Matt reasoned as he pulled the black mask off.

“That’s not the point. We were gonna do it together.”

“I needed to make sure.”

“Of what?”

“That you hadn’t gone soft.”

“So you play with my life?”

“C’mon, Livvy.” He scoffed. “He wasn’t gonna kill you.”

“The bruise around my neck says otherwise.” You countered angrily.

His body language shifted and you saw the flex of his hand. He ran a stressed hand over his mouth before he spoke again.

“You said it yourself. He loves you.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“That’s not what-“

“Well I was wrong.” You cut in quickly.

“You’re never wrong about this stuff.”

“You think that excuses any of that?” You laughed and moved closer. “You think that excuses you pushing him when I’m the one that would’ve had to deal with the fallout?”

“You could’ve protected yourself if he tried anything.”

“So that’s it? You put me in the line of fire and taunt the most unstable man I’ve ever met, just because you can? Just because I can fight back.”

“Were you honestly afraid?” He asked carefully, head cocking in interest.

You thought about the interaction and didn’t remember feeling afraid. In fact, you felt completely in control without touching your abilities in that regard.

“He felt something.” You said instead. “When you talked about Julie… Grief.”

“So what?”

“So that means there might still be something worth saving in him. That used to be what you stood for, Matt. That chance used to be enough.”

“Oh come on.” He scoffed. “What happened to the woman that was ready to kill him?”

“And what happened to the man that didn’t wanna kill anyone? What happened to the altar boy that believed everyone could change, that just a small piece of goodness was enough for another chance? Where’s the man from that rooftop with Frank, who had a gun to his head, but still insisted on preaching about giving people a chance to change?”

“What do you want me to do, huh?” He asked loudly. “You want me to- to take the guy to therapy? Hold his hand and promise it’ll be okay? The guy’s psycho! And he’s dangerous.”

Your remark was cut off by a loud scream. A sound of pure agony that you almost swore was accompanied by the sharp sound of a snap and a shaky wave of heat. It was an uneven, broken feeling that had bits of cold air weaved in between. It was as if the anger was cracking and the sadness was patching the gaps.

You turned to face Matt again but he was already holding a ringing phone in front of him. You took a few steps closer.

“When I find you…” Dex threatened lowly.

“Like we said, Fisk killed her and we all know it.” Matt countered smoothly.

“Think about it, Dex.” You added on. “Who got Julie the job in the hotel, right after the detail starts? Who started following you? It’s all been Fisk.”

“You let him turn you into a murderer!” Matt kept going. You knew you should stop him, that he was pushing too hard. You started to feel a bit of regret for what you had to do to Dex, but you also knew you needed him to turn against Fisk.

Besides, you didn’t owe him anything anymore.

“He wasn’t gonna let someone like Julie get in the way of that.” You offered, gentler than the venom Matt spoke with. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Dex asked lamely, as if everything he had - everything that mattered - was gone. And for him, maybe it was.

“Aw, Dex..” You said quietly, more to yourself than either of the boys. Matt scoffed lightly and stepped away, adding a comment about Fisk and the wedding before ending the call.

“You can’t tell me that you really care about him still.” Matt said angrily. “After everything he’s done to us.”

“I’m allowed to feel bad for ruining a man’s entire mental state just to take down a different man.” You answered sarcastically. “Regardless if I care about him or not.”

“You didn’t ruin that guy. There was hardly anything to ruin.”

“There used to be..”

“Who’s side are you on, Livia? Because you can’t have everything.”

“No, but I can remember the guy he was before. Matt, he helped save my life, kept me from bleeding out on the way to the hospital.”

“That makes up for everything. Why didn’t you mention it sooner?” He offered sarcastically.

“Why are you so bitter?” You shouted. “You have everyone back and it’s still not enough.”

He simply shook his head.

“Why are you so hell bent on destroying him?”

“He killed Father Lantom!” Matt screamed, new anger rolling off him. “But that doesn’t matter, right? Because he lost someone too.”

“That’s not what I’m saying! I cared about Lantom, too.”

“Not like I did.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that, but-“

“But nothing. Just because you slept with him doesn’t make him worth anything.”

“Say that again.” You said lowly, your head tilting with a slight challenge. Your muscles tightened and your hands flexed as you crossed your arms to wake the devices around your wrists. “I dare you.”

He sighed heavily and lifted his hands in surrender.

“Y’know, you’re making it so hard to want to help you. And at this point, I don’t know if you’re doing it on purpose or if you are just that pathetic now.”

“I’m pathetic… Okay.” He mumbled with a scoff before turning away from you.

“I may be a bitch and I may be a killer, but at least I don’t willingly treat people that love me like shit. At least I feel bad when I’ve hurt someone I used to care about… But I guess you just don’t care anymore, right? You left your conscience under Midland, right?”

“You know that’s not true.” He sighed, almost visibly deflating. “I’m doing this because I-“

“Don’t give me that shit.” You cut in firmly, taking quick strides to stand in front of him. “I’m so goddamn tired of that excuse from you, Matt.” Your finger jammed into his chest. “You’re not protecting anyone by being an asshole.. All you’re doing is becoming exactly what you want to protect this city from. You’re becoming what Exodus used to be. Now I look like the soft one. The weak one.”

“I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to! Jesus Christ, how many times do we have to have this same conversation before it gets through your head?” You tapped his temple quickly before pushing his head away.

“I understand that we’re different now. I never said we could go back to what we were. You’re the one who said you can’t have both.”

“I never said that.”

“In the van with Ray. You said that you had to give up certain people and you looked right at me.”

“For the love of..” You muttered before a disbelieving laugh. “I wasn’t saying that I wanted to give you up. I meant that you gave us up. You won’t let yourself have it both ways.”

“Right, because you’re not one to self-sabotage to try torture yourself? You- You don’t ruin anything good in your life to try and make up for all the bad shit you’ve done?”

You stood in silence for a moment, mouth opening to defend yourself but your voice keeping quiet. You wanted to talk back, to tell him that he was an idiot. You wanted to scold him for not truly understanding why you had done everything you had, why you had sabotaged so many relationships in the past. But that was what he wanted. He wanted to keep egging you on that way, maybe you’d be pissed off enough to be like the old you. The one who was so angry with the way the world was that you were going to kill anyone you thought would fix it. And as tempting as it was, as justified as you felt your anger would be, someone needed to keep a level head.

But also, it wasn’t for his sake. It was Ray’s voice lingering in the back of your mind, serving as the safety on your otherwise unrelenting trigger finger.

Just do this the right way, alright?

“Whatever. Think what you want about me.” You shrugged and your devices disarmed. He must’ve heard the current shut off because his brows raised with interest. “I’m gonna go patch my suit and head to the Presidential. If I see you, you better have your goddamn head on straight.”

“Держись подальше от меня сегодня вечером.” He said simply, causing a small scoff from your chest. (Stay out my way tonight.)

“Забавно. Я собирался сказать тебе то же самое.” (Funny. I was going to tell you the same thing.)

You headed home after that, ignoring whatever snarky comment he made when you turned your back. You got home quickly and pulled your suit from the closet. It was the first time you had seen it since the attack on the church. The blood was still soaked into the fabric, the gaping hole in the center. It brought you back to that night and the scar on your stomach burned.

You pushed through it and gave it a thorough wash before repairing the damage, not perfectly but enough to get through the night. You fit it in place and zipped the familiar top over it. As you were sliding your gloves on, you found the small insignias you had carved into the forearm plates. A small skull and two overlapping D’s.

Matt and Frank, Punisher and Daredevil. The two men that were able to sneak through your guards and understand who you were. The two men who knew what you stood for and stood beside you.

The two most important people left in your life.

You fit the rest of your equipment on; boots, Bites, belt, staff pack, and mask. You thought a lot on your way to the hotel. You thought about your relationships with Dex and Matt.

There was no way to repair the damage between you and Dex. You wouldn’t be friends or anything romantic when the night ended. The latter you could deal with, but losing the former was a bit of a bummer. Dex was damaged and your influence probably made it worse. You had a hand in breaking whatever structure and balance Dex had. You used him as a pawn in your game with Fisk and he was ultimately the one to suffer.

You and Matt had been back and forth since he came back. One night he’s begging you to stay and the next he tries to make you the bad guy for being human - for being exactly what he wanted you to be when you had first met. Despite that, despite his uncharacteristic bloodlust as of late, you couldn’t turn your back on him.

You still loved him, after all.

You moved through the parking garage with ease. You came across an abandoned SUV and when you went to check it, you instantly regretted it. In the passenger seat sat Julie’s frozen corpse.

“We really did it this time, didn’t we?” You mumbled to yourself before you heard the groans of the nearby agent on the ground. You moved to his side and grabbed his face to turn him towards you.

“Where’d he go?” You asked firmly, to which he continued his pained sounds. “Where is Poindexter?” You urged again.

He pointed weakly towards the door to the stairwell so you left him on the floor and began your climb. As you climbed, you called Matt.

But he didn’t answer.

You tapped your mask to track the microphone you had left him with and saw he was already a few levels ahead of you. You blew out a sigh and decided to call Foggy instead.

“Hey.” He said with a relieved sigh. “Please tell me-“

“He’s already here.. They both are.” You cut in as you leaned over the bar to angle a shot for your wire towards one of the higher railings. “I’m on my way to them.”

“You have to stop him, Ex.”

You smiled to yourself as your wire looped around the metal. You climbed over and began a quicker ascend.

“Well I’ve tried that, a lot, and it’s not working.” You said simply, mentally counting off floors as you passed. “We need to try something different.”

“Like what?”

“Like a bluff.”

“A bluff?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay… I’m not following.”

“Clearly.” You mumbled as you swung your feet over the final railing. “What I’m saying is what if I stay out of his way.”

“You wanna let him do it?”

“You really think he will?” You asked simply as you unwrapped and tucked away your wire.

“Right now, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

“The guy we know is still in there.. I know it sounds crazy but it’ll work. He wouldn’t know whether I mean it or not. He can’t read me the way he reads everyone else. I don’t let him.”

He was quiet for a moment, likely getting Karen’s opinion.

“But what if it doesn’t work? What if.. we lose him forever?” 

“You gotta trust me.”

“I do but… Is it worth the risk of losing him?”

“I get it. But I don’t see any other option. He has to see for himself that he’s too good to do it.”

“If he can’t, are you going to?”

“Not unless I have to.”

“Will you stop him?”

“I don’t know.”

You ended the call, not allowing any other argument from Foggy. Instead, you pushed into the hall and practically sprinted to the ceremony. As you were coming up on the doors, your implant picked up on Ray’s voice. You didn’t know what it was, some sort of deathbed confession maybe, but it made your chest tight.

As you moved, you passed agent after agent on the ground. Labored breathing or groans of pain came from the bodies and you were moderately relieved that they weren’t dead. At least he had some restraint left, whichever one did all of it.

“I’d like to make a toast.” Dex said shakily from the stage as you entered the ballroom. “Julie and I wish you the absolute best.”

Dex pulled back to throw the microphone so you sprung into action. A serving tray came flying in front of Fisk and the microphone bounced off as you were passing by. Dex looked between you and who you assumed was Matt. You noticed his attention on something behind you and you turned just in time to see the agents lift their guns.

You dropped to the floor and ducked behind one of the tables. When the shots faltered you came out and hopped the table. With both hands on the surface, you kicked out and sent one agent falling into the one behind him. You took a disc from your belt and tossed it, highly charged bolts shooting out of the small device at the two agents. They fell with tight convulsions before Dex threw silverware that landed in their necks.

Matt took off and you were quick to follow him, leaving Dex and the remaining agents in the ballroom. The gunshots echoed throughout the halls as you ran and it sent a chill down your spine.

You noticed the annoyed shake of Matt’s head but you said nothing. You followed him up to the room that covered Fisk’s control center.

He burst in first with you close behind. He acted quickly and threw one of the men towards you. You reacted instantly and pulled a staff. You had to duck his flailing arms so you swung the weapon to knock his legs from under him. Once the agent fell to his back, you slammed the weapon against his temple. You flicked out the blade and moved at the agent Matt threw to the sofa.

Acting quickly, you slammed the blade through his shoulder and pin him to the furniture while you woke your Bites. Aiming one at the man beside you and one over Matt’s shoulder, you fired both and the men fell limp.

As Matt spoke to the woman, you recollected your weapon and placed it back in the pack.

“Подожди.” You called as Matt was headed to the stairs. (Wait.)

“Don’t try to stop me either, Ex.” He said tightly.

“Я не собирался.” You offered but he turned away from you. You groaned and moved forward, grabbing his arm to force him to stay put. “Я просто хотел сказать, что я с тобой... Что бы ты ни решил сделать.” (I wasn’t going to. I just wanted to say that I’m with you… Whatever you decide to do.)

“Правда?” He asked carefully, a hand handing on your arm and his fingers landing between the plates. “И если я действительно убью его?” (Really? And if I actually kill him?)

You gave a small smile as your other hand landed on his chest, right over his heart. You heard the door close as the woman ran off.

“Whatever you decide.” You said honestly.

He offered a small smirk before taking his hand off your arm and moving it to your neck. Before you could voice a question, his opposite hand slid the zipper down a few inches so the fingers on your neck could move under the collar of your suit.

“Tell me one more time.” He said lowly and for just a second, it was like old times. “Just to be sure.”

With a small smile, you let your meticulous control drop. For the first time in months, you were completely vulnerable. Every emotion, every physiological reaction, every tell you could possibly have, it was all on the table for Matt to read. And he knew it.

“I’m on your side, Matty. No matter what.” You said truthfully. And you knew the night would end in a way that favored you and your friends.

He gave a small smile and let out a sigh of relief. His hand went to the back of your neck and he pulled you closer. The other arm looped around your waist and your arms came loosely around him.

You fixed your mental guards and allowed a moment to survey what Matt was feeling. There was tension in his muscles, likely anticipatory for what was to come once you entered that suite. He was determined but also worried. There was an underlying excitement, the subtle type he always seemed to get before a fight. There was also a hint of confusion.

That was what you were looking for. Something to pull to the surface that could interfere with his initial plans.

Slipping a mental hook into that feeling, you pulled away and tapped his arm to follow you. You moved up the stairs and zipped your shirt the rest of the way up. When you hit the door to the suite, you woke your Bites and gripped one of your blades tightly. Matt’s hand landed on your lower back and when you turned to him, he gave you a quick nod.

You took a steadying breath before opening the door and walking in, ensuring your head was high as Matt followed behind you. As you entered the hall, Fisk and Vanessa came from the other end.

The tension in the air grew thicker with every breath. Fisk’s eyes went wide for a minute, flicking to the gleaming blade in your hand and the ominous red glow of your favored devices. Vanessa swallowed hard and took a fearful step back to try and hide behind her new husband.

“It’s over.” Matt said lowly, the familiar gravelly voice of the Devil coming through.

“Run.” Fisk said to Vanessa, pushing her back the way they came.

“This ends.” You warned with words tinted in your accent.

Fisk snarled slightly before bracing himself. Matt shifted beside you and your stance widened while you shifted your weight to your toes. They screamed at each other before they charged, Matt slamming into Fisk with enough force for them both to crash into something in the bedroom. You hurried in the same direction and caught Vanessa trying to race down the stairs.

You wouldn’t kill her, only sparing her life to fulfill your promise to Ray, but you’d have some fun in the meantime.

You flung your knife and watched the tip bury itself in her dress and pin it to the floor. As you were coming around the ledge, Matt and Fisk crashed through the wall. You were going to intervene but Matt fought back so you turned back to Vanessa.

You gripped the railings on either side and kicked both feet into her side. The sharp rip of fabric sounded as she tumbled down the stairs with loud exclamations. You recollected your blade and hopped the railing to follow her just as Matt sent Fisk tumbling the same way.

You landed in time to see Vanessa backing away from the door, a familiar bitter taste settling in your tongue. You spit on the floor in an effort to clear it but it lingered as you saw Dex enter the room.

You groaned inwardly as your small crowd seemed to freeze at his appearance. When it seemed no one else would move, you did. You moved around the table to put yourself in front of the bride.

As you rounded the table, you placed a hand on the ledge to allow you room to spin your legs and connect both feet with Dex’s jaw. He reached angrily for you but you threw yourself backwards. From the far end of the table, you saw Matt land from the upper level and move in against Dex.

You slid off the table and dropped to a low crouch. You snuck beside Vanessa and kicked her legs from underneath her. You pinned a knee against her chest and aimed one of your devices. You angled for a well-placed shot that would hurt but not kill her, only to be thrown off by Matt’s off balance body.

You groaned in annoyance and shoved your partner off you. In your own lull of action, you heard Fisk and Dex going at it from the other end of the room. You paused for a second to watch, only to realize that your former partner had little to no defense against Fisk. The best he could do was evade and try to put distance and gain an advantage.

He was sloppy, uncaring even. He wasn’t just broken. He has completely fallen apart.

You looked between a still fallen Vanessa and the quick paced fight ahead and decided on something more exciting. When Fisk threw Dex against the stairs, you inserted yourself.

You grabbed both staffs before getting to the side of Fisk. You stepped up the railing and reached around his neck to cross both sticks. You quickly moved your feet to be on the back end of the plexiglass and extended the limbs, holding tight with your staffs to pull the man off Dex. His ragged coughs drew an old, sadistic smile from you and the manic daze you knew all too well began to cloud your mind.

From the corner of your eye, you saw Dex stand and attempt to charge at you and Fisk. With a quick move, you jumped the railing and dug an elbow into Fisk’s spine for stability. When Dex was close enough, you slammed both feet into his chest. The impact sent him stumbling through the glass behind him and you were pushed the other direction.

When you hit the ground, you released the cross of your staffs and snuck between Fisk’s legs. You hooked a stick around either ankle and pulled forward as you slid your other leg through so you would spin to face him as he fell to his back. One staff was returned to the pack as you flicked out the long blade of the other.

“Ты больше никому не обидишь” You said simply and you placed a foot on his stomach. (You’ll never hurt anyone else again.)

You gripped your weapon with both hands and lifted it high above your head, the tip of the blade on a direct path to his chest. You let out a loud scream, one born out of pent up rage and pain that seemed to add heat to the blade in your hand, while you began to drive the knife down.

As your blade was mere inches from penetrating, you were slammed into from your side. The collision sent you rolling and your staff clattered from your hands. You heard the commotion continue and you pushed yourself to your elbows to see Fisk and Matt back in a fight, Matt getting body slammed through the table.

For a second, you hoped it would knock some sense into him. But that thought was shortly entertained because you were yanked to your feet by your hair.

You were spun roughly and a hand fit your throat, backing you up until you hit the wall. You let out a manic laugh when you saw it was Dex.

“Was it worth it?” You sneered. “Killing Julie.”

“I didn’t kill her.” He nearly screamed in your face before slamming you back again.

“But you did.” You nodded fervently. “If you didn’t try to make her love you-“

His free hand collided with the brick near your head and you acted quickly.

You grabbed the wrist around your throat and braced a foot at the bend of his hip. Your thumb dug into the space between bones at his wrist and he winced as his grip faltered. You stepped up using his own leg as leverage and hooked the other leg around his shoulder. You balled one fist in the suit material of the base of his neck and pulled to reveal enough skin that you could wedge you let Bite against. You fired the device and he yelled loudly while his hands gripped the back of your knees.

He slammed your body into the hard brick wall and you coughed roughly as the impact sent a jolt through the old fracture in your ribs. He pulled back to slam you again but you pulled the foot you had against his leg to flatten against the wall and change the angle of your body.

You slid your hands to grip the suit before kicking off and throwing yourself to the floor while Dex landed beside you. You quickly knelt on top of Dex and landed heavy hits to his face, forcing head to bounce off the ground. One of his hands were flailing to find something to use as a weapon and before you could block, he found your other staff and swung it at your jaw. You fell off and got to your hands and knees before he threw your staff at the glass chandelier above where Matt and Fisk were fighting.

Matt was quick to get out of the way, which left Fisk vulnerable to Dex’s barrage of attacks. You hurried over to the wreckage and recollected your staff before you decided what to do next. Dex’s focus shifted to Matt, which allowed you to go after Fisk. You turned to find him and saw him give Vanessa his jacket, a product of Melvin’s handiwork you assumed.

She met your eyes in a panic as you jumped the couch and began your assault. You alternated your hits, switching hands and angles. You mixed in body shots and elbows and knees. Vanessa’s hand landed on your shoulder and you reacted almost instantly.

You grabbed her wrist and twisted her arm outwards. You hooked a foot behind her ankle and slammed your other arm against her chest to knock her to the floor. She coughed heavily from the impact and you reached down for your knife. You smiled as you pressed the tip against the underside of her chin.

“You had Ray killed.” You spoke lowly, a heavy venom dripping from your accented words. “I should kill you for it.”

“But you won’t?” She managed, jerking under your weight in a desperate attempt to get you off of her.

“I do enjoy revenge.” Your head tilted as you pierced the skin slightly and you watched the steady stream of blood across her skin. “But using you to torture him is much more fun.”

You heard Fisk’s heavy footsteps behind you so you moved quickly. You quickly jumped to your feet and dragged Vanessa up with you, locking an arm around her throat while other held the tip of the knife against her sternum,

“Let her go, Alivia.” Fisk said carefully, hands out in front as if to soothe a wild animal. “She’s done nothing.”

“You consider Rahul Nadeem nothing?” You spoke sharply, pressing the knife a bit harder to hear a sharp gasp from Vanessa. “What do you say, hmm? A life for a life.”

“You don’t trade lives!”

“Исход делает.” You shrugged. (Exodus does.)

The loud shatter of glass beside you stole your attention for a second, but it was all Fisk needed. He yanked your hand away from his wife’s chest and pushed her away. With a tight grip on your wrist, he bent it back to point your own knife back at you. He backed you against the wall and you had to use your other hand to keep your own weapon away. His fingers locked around your own, not allowing you to drop your blade.

With a sly smile, you allowed your powers to reach out to the boys that came crashing through the window moments ago. You found that soft spot they both had for you, one was much easier to find than the other, and you yanked it to the surface. You projected a fear, a helplessness, while refusing to break eye contact with Fisk,

“You have no power here.” You said quietly as you heard the glass shifting. “You’ll lose.”

“Not until I’ve buried you.” He spoke roughly, pushing the knife again and you felt the tip poking through your suit and into your shoulder.

“I’m not afraid to die.”

You let your other hand drop and the knife pierced your shoulder completely with a sharp cry of pain. At the same time, two glass shards came flying in and punctured his abdomen. You offered a salute to Dex as a way of thanking him before Matt began an offense against him again. You turned back to Fisk as he pulled the bloody glass out.

You made a small noise of interest as you moved in, momentarily forgetting about the knife in you. You threw a sharp kick at the open wound and he cried out. You laughed slightly and kicked again. And again.

You reached forward and pressed your knuckles against the wound and watched the blood spurt across your hand. You pulled back and grabbed the man by his face, the other grabbing his shirtfront, and slammed him to the ground.

“You’re pathetic.” You sneered. “You’re nothing without your toys.”

You saw Dex fall from the corner of your eye and when you glanced, you saw him already locked in on Vanessa. You groaned to yourself and pushed off Fisk, hurrying up the stairs to yank Vanessa out of the way. The ceramic ashtray flew by your heads and shattered against the wall. You gripped Vanessa by her throat and threw her back against the plexiglass, leaning a knee into her chest to pin her down.

You turned back to the fight in time to see Fisk slam Dex into the corner of the brick. Your pressure on Vanessa eased slightly as something dropped heavy into the pit of your stomach. You shifted the glow to your Bites to blue and slid your knee over to allow a clearer shot to her chest.

Once Matt and Fisk found each other again, you hopped down the stairs and knelt on Dex’s chest. Your other foot pressed on his shoulder as you drew your gun. You pressed the barrel under his chin and he gasped for air beneath you.

Something was wrong. You knew it immediately, before you even got close to Dex. As your weight was bearing down on him, you were tense as you waited for a response. You waited for him to try and throw you off, to pull a knife or a gun of his own. You expected him to toss you around like a rag doll, only for you to come back at him relentlessly. But he did nothing…

“Fight back.” You demanded softly, your voice seemingly gone.

“Li- Livia.” He choked out.

The cold seemed to radiate from his chest and stick to the fabric pressed against him. There was regret, likely stemming from whatever injury the impact caused, and sadness. He truly had nothing and he finally understood that, laying on the ground with his former partner pressing a gun to his head.

“Dammit, Poindexter. Fight. Back”. You pressed the gun harder.

“Can’t.” He managed weakly.

You stood slowly, keeping a foot on his wrist and your gun aimed while the other hand hit your mask’s side button. You glanced over his body and saw the complete shatter of his vertebrae.

“You owe whatever pathetic life you have left to Ray… I won't offer this mercy again.” You said simply.

“Stop it, please!” Vanessa shouted desperately.

You turned quickly and saw Matt had Fisk on his knees and was pounding on him. You turned the aim of your gun on Vanessa and moved to stand beside Matt. Despite looking away from the woman, your gun stayed up as you faced Matt and yanked your blade from your shoulder.

His hands were positioned to finish it, to snap Fisk’s neck. You found yourself frozen in place as you waited for what he would do next. Part of you, the part manufactured from the Red Room, wanted to see him do it. You wanted to corrupt the Devil, to bloody his hands in a way he’d never clear.

But the more important part, the part you thought you had lost a long time ago, knew you didn’t want to see him do it. Seeing him do it would make it too real and it would change the way he saw himself and the way you would see him. The things that made him Matt Murdock would break if he did it.

Yet you did nothing. Not until he screamed. A sound of pure rage and agony that was paired with a blast of searing heat. Matt fell to his knees at your feet, reaching for your hand. But before he could take it, Fisk’s words drew your action.

“I will never stop hunting Karen Page or Foggy Nelson.” He warned, though there was defeat in his words.

You moved to stand in front of him and placed the gun against his forehead. He simply glared up at you, covered in his own blood. “I will tell the world who both of you really are.”

“I don’t care about the world.” You spat back, pressing your knee against his chest to knock him into the wall. You leaned your weight down and he coughed as the bony part of your leg dug into his sternum. “It has taken enough from me… You don’t get to do that anymore.”

“Wilson.” Vanessa tried from the other end of the room.

“Vanessa, please go. Please!” He shouted around you.

You turned quickly and fired a shot at Vanessa’s feet, to which she jumped back and screamed. You pressed the now hot barrel back to its prior position as Matt got to his feet.

“You.. You want us to kill you.” Matt realized through heavy breaths. 

“No prison can keep me.” Fisk taunted and you had to grind your teeth. “You know that… Come on, kill me! Isn’t that what you always wanted, Exodus?”

Your trigger finger itched but Matt spoke before you could act.

“No!” Matt yelled in response. You made a face to yourself and knew you should pull the gun back you didn’t, not even when Matt came to your side to yell at Fisk. “God knows I want to, but you don’t get to destroy who I am.”

You almost smiled in relief, but the thump of worry lived in the back of your mind. You could feel Vanessa’s concern for Fisk, her worry that he would die in front of her. Her helplessness plagued you like a magnet to metal and for a moment, you remembered when you felt the same way.

When Luke dragged you to the elevator without Matt. When Fisk said Matt’s name in front of other agents.

“You will go back to prison and you will live the rest of your miserable life in a cage, knowing you’ll never have Vanessa. That this city rejected you, it beat you. We beat you!” Matt demanded and you were proud he found a way back to himself.

“You will keep our secrets.” You spoke simply, putting your gun away to yank the man to the ground. You flicked one of your shock discs at him and pressed a foot against his broad chest. You leaned into your foot and twisted to ensure the small circle engaged and he groaned loudly as you heard the electricity crackle while you leaned the entirety of your weight against him. Matt knelt beside you and lifted his mask before he spoke.

“And you won’t harm Karen Page or Foggy Nelson or anyone else.”

“If you try it, I will go after your wife. And I will prove that she ordered the murder of Agent Rahul Nadeem. And if she’s lucky, she’ll spend the rest of her life in a cell, same as her miserable excuse of a husband.”

You stepped off his chest and tapped Matt’s arm before taking a few steps away. Matt replaced his mask and came to your side as Vanessa inched closer, her uncertainty coming off in shaky waves.

“Thank you.” She said shakily, reaching for your hand.

“I didn’t do it for either of you.” You said sharply. “And I will not extend this mercy again, to any of you.”

She nodded quietly before moving away, leaving you to stand beside an unsteady Matt. His hands were on his head and he was radiating anger. He was mad at himself for not being able to go through with it, but he was also glad that he didn’t. He understood what the consequences would’ve been and he knew that keeping that part of himself was more important than revenge.

“You’re okay.” You said gently to your partner, a hand landing on his shoulder. “I knew you’d do the right thing.”

“What if I didn’t?” He said weakly.

“We’re still in it together, Devil.” You shrugged. “Anyone comes after you, they come after me.”

“If I agree to your demands, you leave my wife alone.” Fisk countered, now kneeling beside Vanessa.

“You misunderstood me.” You warned. “There is no agreement. You have no leverage.”

“You leave Vanessa free!”

“You didn’t care about taking a father from a ten year old boy!” You shouted angrily, the sound of the bullet firing on Ray replaying in your head. Your anger burned down your spine and across your skin until it swelled in your palms, searing through the wound on your shoulder. “You took a husband away from his wife! Why should yours be free?”

“I was protecting the man I love.” Vanessa countered with false confidence, despite the darting eyes and trembling hands. “Could you tell me you don’t do the same?” She nodded to Matt though her eyes remained on you.

“I owe you people nothing. If it were up to me, you’d both be a puddle of your own blood right now.” You spat. “But I promised Ray I would do this the right way, and I promised the Devil I’d let him decide.”

Matt stepped forward and held a hand out to Fisk.

“If you keep your word.” He said simply.

Reluctantly, Fisk shook Matt’s hand. 

“Then it’s a deal.” He spoke bitterly, moments before the heavy banging came from the door.

“We should go.” You grabbed Matt’s arm lightly.

He nodded quietly before taking your hand. You two hurried up the stairs to the upper level and paused to see Brett enter with his team. You watched as they unmasked Dex and you weren’t fully listening to the words they were saying. You were distracted by the pained look on Dex’s face, what looked like tears in his eyes.

“Я оплакываю своего друга, который умер, когда ты надел этот костюм…” You said quietly, more to yourself than anything but you knew Matt heard. “Человек, которого я вижу сейчас, ничто.” (I mourn my friend, who died when you put on that suit… The man I see now is nothing.)

Matt grabbed your hand without a word and led you out the same way you two came in, avoiding cops until you made it to the rooftop. Through your lenses, you saw Fisk being shoved into the car and Foggy and Karen out in the courtyard.

You let out a small chuckle of relief when you could finally accept that you had won.

You, with Matt and Ray’s help, beat Wilson Fisk.

Again.

[jolivia-things]

"Can’t believe you scrolled to my very first post, but fair play because you must have scrolled past a hell of a lot.I didn’t have anon messaging on at first, so I guess the first post was from someone with an actual name…if that’s what you mean?" There is a thing called archive on your blog. Go there, go to the month of march ( which is when you created this shit blog) and you will see your first post. Took like 10 seconds. And no, it was clearly a anon messaging. You just lie and lie.

Oh my god what's your point?

You said my first post was a message, now saying it's an anon?

Here is my personal timeline:

1. I listened to Fine Line, downloaded it from YouTube music - thought hmm this is a good album

2. I watched Ted Lasso, loved it, realised I'd been underestimating Jason

3. The photos of Harry/Olivia came out (my spidey senses start tingling) - remembered seeing those pictures of Jason and Olivia looking close

4. Got more curious about Jason, searched his tag on Tumblr and found Harry blogs discussing him and Olivia (and H*livia) in the tag

5. I was curious for two reasons, number one Jason had been calling Olivia his partner in interviews and I felt like the only one on earth noticing until I found others, number two people were already getting skeptical about them

6. I periodically checked a couple of blogs, found others curious about Olivia and Jason, found the blog mods were getting annoyed about it (which I get as I get a bit annoyed at pure Harry messages)

7. Made my own blog and sent it to dontworryaboutharry, it got posted around and now I have a group of people talking about it from the same angle as me

I'm not forcing you to read my Tumblr. If it upsets you just leave, or start your own like I did. I'll post the link for you if you like.

I'm confused as to what agenda you think I have?