#and when livia said that i was like “oh god i have to remember to post this tomorrow”

[amarimeta]

the sopranos 2.12 "the knight in white satin armor" // succession 3.09 "chiantishire"

[roguerogerss]

The President; ‘Something Sweet.’

Pairing: Coriolanus Snow x Reader

W/C: 2.1k

Warnings: SMUT!!

(HEY! this is the second part to The President, part 3 will be out soon so plssss stay tuned, hope u luv it, luv you, bye) (requests r open! send me stuff here)

-

“Where did you go?"

Clemensia snatched your arm and stopped you in your place. You'd been trying to ignore all of the girls, weaving your way in and out of the crowd, accepting the odd congratulations or hug as you went, you thought you might find Tigris and stick by her until at least dinner time. You wanted nothing more than to be at home.

"Oh." You started but stopped short. If you even stuttered you knew she'd know, your legs were shaking and, if she looked at you closely, she'd be able to see that your hair wasn't nearly as smooth as it was an hour ago, and your lipstick had smudged over your chin and you'd spent longer than you should've trying to wipe it off. "Just had a few photos to be taken, Coryo wanted them out of the way."

Clemensia turned you to face her, gripping your forearms as she eyed you suspiciously. You held your breath a moment, she wasn't the type to keep her mouth shut. "Of course. Photos."

She was smirking at you, and you nearly hung your head in shame out of pure instinct. You teetered backwards slightly in your heels, and Clemensia barely stifled a laugh. "Did these photos involve you being bent over something?"

"Clemmie!" You burst out, hands clamping over your mouth, cheeks burning red. And then you couldn't help but laugh. "Don't say anything, please."

"I won't!" She laughed and took hold of your hand, starting to lead you back towards the rest of your school friends. “I didn’t say anything when you’d disappear for every free hour we had in school, did I?”

“Clemensia!”

Okay! I won’t say anything. Promise. It's your day, and Coryo's President now. I can’t say anything."

You laughed as you approached the other girls, Clemmie was your friend, as much as you hated to admit it, and you did actually like spending time with her, after you got over the initial idea of it. The other girls, however, were a different story.

"Where did you guys go?" Lysistrata whined when you rejoined the circle. She wasn’t the worst of the bunch, but, god, could she moan about anything. "Felix had an interview and they basically said that he actually would've won, had Doctor Gaul's vote not counted-"

"Well, her vote did count." Clemensia defended and sent you a small smile. "Why dwell on it, Lyssie?"

"Because it's unfair." Livia practically snarled, lip curled upwards like a growling dog. "Coriolanus will be president until he either steps down, or dies off. And we all know he won't step down, so none of us will even have a chance at it."

"You wouldn't have a chance at anything anyway, Livia. Festus is a slob." You snapped. You'd remembered why you so hated going to school, and then University with these girls. Livia especially always seemed to bring out the worst in you. You heard Clemensia sigh, and Lysistrata sucked in a breath to be held.

Livia looked as though she was about to lunge for you. "He is not a slob!" She threw her hands in the air and started to say something else, when Clemensia butted in, to avoid a public argument between two powerful men's wives.

"Ladies!" She held her arms out between the two of you in a calming manner, and you almost scoffed and walked away from them, but you knew you had to be here. For Coryo, you thought. "Let's just all be friends, okay? You managed it for seventeen years before today, you can certainly last another two hours."

"Oh, look!" Lysistrata pointed excitedly at the grand hall, drawing the attention of the conversation to something else entirely. "I think we've to go for dinner, now. Aren't you all excited? It'll be lovely."

You were definitely excited. The University provided three square meals a day, if you stayed long enough - you always did - but, since you'd graduated, it had been back to Tigris' cabbage soup and the occasional luxury like a loaf of bread or some beef mince, if Coriolanus helped Doctor Gaul with something she believed warranted an extra payout. The food was guaranteed to be something special, and, even better, you could leave your school friends behind for at least an hour and sit by Coryo instead.

An avox appeared by your small group, and gestured for you all to follow them, leading the gathering of wives to the dinner hall first. Clemensia, Livia, and Lysistrata were positioned at a table together, each one chair apart from the other, and you almost laughed out loud when Livia's scowl deepened further and Clemmie sighed disappointedly at her space between the other two.

After seating the three other women, the avox gestured for you to follow them even further, to a long, rectangular table overlooking a sea of smaller round ones. The hall really was magnificent, all marble and hardwood, a string quartet playing in the far corner, and Coriolanus' Grandma'am's roses decorating each table, in small glass vases. You smiled at the touch, assuming it was Tigris' doing, Coryo would love it.

"Thank you." You nodded to the avox as they tapped a chair for you to sit in. The table was laid with a white tablecloth and lace runner, and six plates, with dainty little place cards placed neatly atop them. The ones on either side of you read Tigris Snow and President Coriolanus Snow. You assumed the one next to Coryo would've been for the Grandma'am and the other two chairs for other government officials.

The room started to fill up with people, celebrities, guests, reporters, game makers. You tried to make out anyone familiar in the sea of people, but faces blurred into one another, distant chatter became almost deafening, and you found that, not only could you not decipher one person from another, but you'd given yourself a headache trying to do so.

The chair beside you pulled back, startling you from your squint-eyed staring, and then Tigris appeared, beaming and touching a hand to your shoulder. "He did it!" She cried and you embraced, squealing as you did so.

“I know.” You mused. “Did you do the roses?”

Tigris nodded, a satisfied smile crossing her face. “Yes, do you like them? I thought it’d be nice, something familiar.”

“They’re beautiful, he’ll love them.” You plucked one of the stems from the vase in front of you, inspecting the perfect flower, so familiar. You’d always loved the Grandma’am’s roses, almost as much as Coryo did.

You were only able to talk for a moment, Tigris complimenting the way you'd done his hair, you gushing over his suit. You loved Tigris, really. But the national anthem began playing, and then there were cameras on you both and you tried to remember to sit up straight and keep your chin down.

The entire room erupted into cheers and claps and cries as Coriolanus entered, looking dazzling as ever. You even noticed Livia giving a hand, which sent a sense of satisfaction through you. "There he is! Our brand new President, it's Coriolanus Snow!" Lucky Flickerman had appeared out of nowhere again, and you could just hear him over the sound of the crowd. "And he's making his way over to his gorgeous first lady! I heard they've only been married three days."

You stifled a laugh at Lucky's overly dramatic performance, and then you felt almost self conscious, seeing all of the people looking towards you, the cameras pointed in your direction. Tigris touched a gentle hand to your arm to soothe you, and you just about managed a grin as Coryo approached.

He sat down next to you and you found his hand placed on the small of your back, thumb rubbing soothing circles just beside your spine. You let out a sigh of relief and smiled until the cameras turned away and the starting course of the meal served. "That was good, darling." Coryo spoke quietly. "Are you okay? You seem nervous."

"I am nervous." You turned toward him and placed a hand on his knee. "I'll get over it, though. First day jitters."

"Of course you will." And then he leaned down to whisper in your ear, hand creeping up your thigh under the cover of the tablecloth. "What do you think I could do to calm you down, hm?"

"Coryo." You hid a small smile and wrapped your fingers around his wrist. "People are watching."

"All the more fun." You turned to face him, noticing the half-concealed grin playing on his lips. Your eyes flickered out towards the crowd and cameras, guests were all chattering and eating, but the cameras stayed put, and Lucky continued his constant commentary of you. You imagined him, broadcasting to the entirety of Panem, that the brand new President was fingering his wife at the dinner table.

Coryo's hand wandered up even further, underneath your skirt, into your underwear. You sucked in a breath and made a sort of uncomfortable grunt, biting back a whine as two familiar fingers pressed into you. You gripped onto the tablecloth and Tigris turned to you, concern in her eyes. "Are you okay?" She asked and you nodded, too enthusiastically.

"I'm okay." You answered, but you knew your face wasn't communicating what you said, and Tigris' hand was pressed to your forehead before you could tell her again.

"You're hot, have you drank enough water today? And you're flushed, too-" Tigris was in the middle of pouring some water into the glass in front of you when Coryo cut in.

"She's okay, Tigris." He smiled at his cousin. "Wasn't feeling too well last night, were you, love?"

You shook your head, trying to act convincing while Coriolanus' fingers continued their assault inside of you. "Oh, honey! Well, get some rest tonight, okay?"

And then Tigris had turned back to her conversation with the Grandma'am, and you made a mental note to continue the narrative that you were sick, at least in front of Tigris. And then you noticed that Lucky was staring right at the two of you, massive grin on his face, as always, and the camera beside him was fixated on your table.

"Coryo, the cameras!" You hissed, but he silenced you, curling his fingers against your sensitive spot. You made another strangled sound, but Tigris didn't turn around this time, too invested in conversation with the Grandma'am.

"Shh," Coryo comforted you, nuzzling his forehead against your cheek in a way that could've been mistaken for a loving gesture for the cameras. "Let them see, honey. Just be quiet for me. My good girl."

He curled his fingers faster inside of you, so that you had to clamp your hand on your thigh to stop your legs from shaking aggressively, every now and again he'd lean down and say something like, "You're doing so well." or "So good for me." and your head would spin.

"Coryo," You whispered, a breathy moan falling from your lips, almost loud enough for everyone at the table to hear. "I'm getting close, you know how loud I get."

Dessert was being served, now, and you were almost glad that the avoxes didn't have tongues, because you were certain that the one placing your lemon tart in front of you had made a strange face whilst doing so.

Coryo's fingers brushed your sensitive spot once again, and you felt his hand on your back as it arched off of the chair, dimming the appearance of your arousal to the public. "I know. Not going to let you finish, not yet."

He pressed a short kiss to your temple and then pulled his fingers out of you, at which you huffed and pouted, he felt his cock throb, seeing you looking so bratty.

"Coryo!" You whined, bottom lip still jutting out. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" He asked, smirk playing on his face. He made you watch as he looked you straight in the eye, lifted his fingers to his lips - still glistening with your slick - and sucked them clean. "Mmh, so sweet, my girl. Now, I want you to go home, familiarise yourself with the mansion - you'll love it, by the way - and wait for me to get there. No touching yourself, you know the punishment for that."

A small smile grew on your face as you nodded. Coryo kissed your face, picked up your dessert fork and handed it to you, gesturing to the food in front of you. As you took your first bite, he slid his own across to the Senator sat next to him. The larger man looked at him with confusion in his eyes.

"You can take mine, already had something sweet."

[petertingle-yipyip]

WORLD CLASS SINNER - FRANK CASTLE

three - haunted

tags: n/a // two // four // masterlist

Pairing: Billy x Livia , Frank x Livia

Word Count: 7,033

Summary: Can’t breathe, can’t turn back. Livia continues to walk the fragile line of her morality while finding an uneasy comfort in the presence of Billy Russo, despite being haunted by Matt Murdock’s memory. But reuniting with Frank Castle makes it little less miserable.

You stayed with Frank at Lieberman’s hideout for the night. You thought you would maybe sleep better if you stayed somewhere outside of your bedroom. It had worked well enough at Quantico so maybe it was just about the scenery.

Only it didn’t make a difference. The emptiness had grown too big, grown too demanding. It would swallow you up a little more with every beat of your heart that continued to mimic the explosion. Even in sleep, you had no real escape from the memories.

You shot up from the space you were in, sitting on the bed against the wall and leaning against Frank. You glanced over and saw he was still asleep so as quietly as you could, you climbed out of the small bed and wandered towards the back door you had been coming in and out of.

You used the rickety ladder to climb up to the roof and you sat on the AC unit, taking in the view of the city. The crisp air felt like it would calm the heat within you, but it only made it tolerable. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath when you heard another body coming up the ladder.

You reached for your gun and saw it was only Frank with two beers in hand.

“Could’ve shot you.” You joked as he came and sat beside you, offering you one of the bottles.

“I would’ve let you.” He returned the joke and you smiled slightly. “What are you doing out here anyway?”

You used your knife to pop the cap off and passed the blade to Frank. You looked at the city for a minute longer while you thought about what you wanted to say. He tapped your leg with the handle of your knife and you snapped back to focus to take it.

“How long do the nightmares last?” You asked softly, holding the bottle by the neck and swirling it slightly. It almost felt wrong to admit that your mind was in shambles, but if anyone would understand without judgment, you were talking to him.

“What?”

“After the carousel… How long until you stopped dreaming about it?”

“Honestly?” He blew out a sigh and shook his head slightly. “I haven’t.”

“Oh.” You took a swig of the beer and nearly spit it out. “God, this is awful. And I thought Matt liked cheap beer.” You laughed and covered your mouth with the back of your hand.

Frank laughed with you before drinking the beer and having a similar reaction, coughing roughly and setting the bottle down with a sound of disgust. He turned over to you, still coming down from your laughter, and the expression he wore was one of worry.

“You wanna talk about it?” He said simply and you felt something sharp against the center of your chest, vaguely familiar to the tip of Elektra’s weapon from your dream. It made you rub the area with your knuckles.

“Did you hear about that imploded building a few months back? Midland circle?” You began, feeling the thump of your emotions at the center of your chest slowly replacing the sharp sensation. Beating in place of where your heart normally was, or maybe that was your heart and you just hadn’t felt it beat in so long. “Well, we were there. Us and a few other people. We were up against those ninjas. You remember the ones you helped a little against on that rooftop?”

He nodded, fully attentive to your words, so you continued.

“It turned out that my friend who died on that roof, they were able to bring her back with some magic ritual. I don’t even really know… But she wasn’t herself and she was gonna kill us. I decided to blow the building and literally crush their whole organization under it. We were hundreds of feet deep, somewhere around three hundred I think. No one was going to survive that. It wasn’t gonna be clean but it would be quick and it’d be final. But while we were down there, someone up top set the timer too early… When it came down to it, Matt decided to - of course - be a hero and stay down there to make sure no one got out… I tried to stop him but he decided to pull a cheap trick and distract me so I was literally dragged out of that building. And I got to watch it collapse from the outside…”

“Shit, Livia. Why didn’t you call me or something?”

“Would you have answered?” You countered sadly. “Besides, I didn’t really wanna face anyone after that.”

You could almost feel the water from when you thought of drowning yourself climbing back up your throat.

“I lost myself that night, y’know? And it felt pathetic.” You gave a small laugh. “It felt like the thing that made me human was just gone. I didn’t care about anything or anyone, and to be honest, I still don’t really. And that’s not to say that everything was dependent on Matt but he made it easier. He made it worth it…”

“You seemed different today than yesterday.” Frank explained while you drank the shitty beer. “Like some of that was back, at least for a second.”

“Probably just from…” You trailed off, realizing that you were going to credit Billy for your alleged reignition.

“From…” Frank led and you sighed.

“I’ve been seeing a couple guys, casually, just to kinda keep my mind off it.” You waved him off but he shot you an incredulous look. “Okay, don’t look at me like that.”

“Guys?” He asked defensively. “How many are you seein’?”

“Two.” You shrugged.

“Jesus…” He shook his head. “Alright, who are they?”

“What? I need your blessing now?”

“No, but if some dickhead wants to try something, I should know whose head I gotta crack open.”

“Actually, you do know one of them.” You mumbled into the bottle and you’d rather swallow the poor excuse of a beer than say his name. “...billyrusso…”

“Wha-” He scoffed in disbelief. “Y’know what, I don’t even think I wanna know.”

“Okay….” You said innocently with a small shrug.

“Jesus Christ, Livia.” He ran a hand down his face and you frowned slightly. “Are you sure you should be doing that?”

“It’s nothing serious with either of them.” You defended. “It’s just…. One’s charming and it’s comfortable. He says everything I need to hear. They respect me and give me space when I need it, call when they say they will. But..”

“But?”

“But I miss screaming at him and fighting with him.” You laughed in defeat with a small shrug. “Back when it was 2 am and I was cursing that damn costume.”

“The kinda love that makes you act all kinds of nuts.” Frank continued, his tone noticeably gentler than moments ago.

“Literally made me act insane. That’s the way I loved him... I never knew I could feel that much till I met Matt. It was really nice.”

“Yeah, you two were made for each other… I gotta say, Liv, I just can’t see you with anyone else.”

“Yeah, and I’m not. They can’t see that I’m faking the smiles or that I’m not really feeling anything. Sure, it’s a little easier but it’s not like I’m falling in love again… I don’t know, maybe I keep ‘em around because they’re nothing like Matt. It can’t hurt or make me feel guilty if there’s no similarities…”

“Hey..” Frank said after a minute of silence. “I’m sorry about Murdock… I know it feels like shit.”

You set the bottle down and scooted back enough to give your feet room so you can hug your knees to your chest.

“I always thought I would die first cause I liked to think I was invincible… But the way I felt when I lost Matt, I felt absolutely helpless. I felt useless. I wanted to die, too… I even prayed to his God, trying to make a deal to swap our places. But every morning, I woke up in that goddamned bed from that same fucking nightmare.”

“Mine’s almost always the same.” Frank said absently, seemingly a hundred miles away now. “Maria wakes me up. It’s that morning before we went out after I got back… It’s real nice and sweet, y’know? And I’m not even out of bed before she gets shot. Lately though, it’s been… I’m the one pulling the trigger.”

“In mine, my friend puts a sai through my chest while Matt holds me down. They’re both dead by then. Like bloated corpses you find at the bottom of the river. They tell me that if I wanted to die with them, then I should… Once Matt killed me and he said ‘Why are you making me do this?’... I woke up hysterical that morning.”

“You two ever end up tying the knot?” He asked instead, veering the subject away from the dreams.

“No, but I did find this.” You reached under the collar of your shirt and under the neckline of the vest to pull out a silver chain. On it sat a silver band, engraved with his last name. You unclipped the chain and carefully passed it over. “Not exactly an engagement ring but…”

“Maybe it is.” Frank nodded as he inspected the ring. “Prolly figured you didn’t want something flashy so he got you something personal.”

“Yeah, makes sense.” You offered a small smile as he handed it back and you clipped it back into place, tucking the ring safely back under.

“Besides, can’t have two vigilantes in the same neighborhood with matching rings.”

“I only found the one… I don’t know if he had one for himself.”

“Bet he did.” He nodded. “Probably took it with him.”

“I couldn’t bury him or even have a service for him. Father Lantom couldn’t say anything about him or Foggy couldn’t give a eulogy.” You choked, and if you tried hard enough, you heard the explosion in your words. “To the world, Matt Murdock is out there somewhere. But to me, he’s buried under literal tons of debris.”

“C’mere.” He put an arm over your shoulders and pulled you into his side. You felt a shiver creep down your spine and your skin grew cold for a moment, the only sensation to diminish the burn in your bones. “I know it hurts like hell, and I know you wanna do anything but deal with it. But I can’t have you here if you’re looking for a distraction. That’s gonna get you killed and I can’t let that happen.”

“I’m okay.” You nodded, though the echoing rumbles in your chest told a different story. “I just don’t talk about it much so the little I do gets to me. I know what I’m doing, Frank. I promise.”

“If you say so.” He agreed reluctantly.

“I appreciate you looking out for me.”

“Someone has to.” He joked and you elbowed his ribs slightly.

It was clear, without your abilities, that he didn’t believe you. And truthfully, you didn’t even believe yourself. All you knew for a fact were the explosions and the emptiness, and both were relentless. All you could do was avoid them, feed them by necessity and try to continue living. You knew it wasn’t the life Matt would’ve wanted for you, a life as cold and desolate as you had created. He would’ve wanted you to move on, to love and live like you had done before. But without him, knowing that he was gone in such an absolute way, it diminished the quality of any potential life. You never considered the after, because there was never supposed to be such a thing.

Of course, you knew you’d both die eventually, but it was supposed to be you first. Or at the very least, you two going out together. Never did you think you’d be alone, living in a post-Matt world that only a handful of people could acknowledge. You worried, if only for a moment, about whether the girl that Matt knew - that he fell in love with - would ever return, but the idea of that and the idea of her was swallowed by the rift in your chest. Swallowed up by the darkness, only a faint echo remained. Her return would depend on your intent to bring her back. She would need your lifeline to get to her, but any rope you could extend would never reach.

You let her fall away, let her disappear into the darkest part of yourself. You weren’t that girl. You weren’t the vigilante he knew either. Instead, you were oh-so-reminiscent of the Widow you were raised to be. Blunt, heartless, cruel, calculating, plotting, cautious, confident. You were everything except apologetic or gentle. You were supposed to be the hero in the story you had written for yourself in the Kitchen, but from a perspective outside of your body, you watched yourself shift closer and closer to being the villain.

And - arguably - the worst part was that you liked it. So you let Livia slip away, let her rest somewhere beneath the explosions and the burning. Somewhere beneath Midland.

“We’re seriously outgunned.” You commented after a little while of silence.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing..” Frank agreed.

“I might know a guy.” You two said at the same time.

Frank offered you a smirk before nodding for you to go first. You hopped off the AC and climbed down to the ground with Frank following close behind. You two headed down to your car and you drove over to the usual location your guy was at. He wasn’t anyone you had worked with or even one of your contacts. He was a guy that Matt had run into a few times and you had been keeping tabs on, just because the man always seemed to be involved in someone’s business.

He was just locking up when you two showed up, fully dawning your new vest for the first time.

“Hi, Turk.” You gave a tight smile as your accent tinted your words before you slammed your elbow against his jaw. “Let’s head inside.”

He groaned and struggled as you pinned an arm behind his back, tossing Frank the key ring. You pressed the man face-first against the opposing door while Frank opened the door. You shoved Turk inside, Frank following right after. You entered last and slammed the door shut behind you. You kicked the bulky plug at Turk for the light and squinted through the yellow glow until your eyes focused.

“Man! The hell is this?” Turk complained before you pushed him by his chest so he hit the metal wall again.

“You think because the Devil is gone, that you can start this shit again, hmm?” You spoke simply, the familiar accent sticking to your words like a tick. But without the mask, what good did it do? You realized why as the bitter taste settled in your mouth. At that point, you did it because it scared people and you liked that. “It’s about time we finally met, don’t you think?”

“Aw shit.” He exclaimed quietly before offering you a pleading expression. “Listen, I’m just a guy trying to make a living. You know how many jobs are out there for ex-cons? Ain’t jack shit coming my way.”

“Unless we ask you something, shut your mouth or I take out your teeth.” You warned sharply.

“You got part of a weapons shipment from the Greeks. Where is it?” Frank asked, yanking Turk off the wall and pressing his gun to the back of his head.

“Greeks dicked me.” Turk answered shakily. “Should’ve guessed, right, with a name like Turk? Maybe they didn’t know I was black.”

“Hilarious.” You rolled your eyes. “Where is it?”

“It was too much weight for me. They found someone else who could take the whole load. High-tech shit ain’t easy to sell, man.”

“Who is it?”

“I don’t know.”

Frank pressed the gun harder and the arms dealer whimpered. You almost felt bad... Almost.

“I mean- I-“ He stammered. “I got some stuff. It ain’t much.”

“Show me.”

Frank let Turk lead you two over to one of the corner cases. You leaned down to open it but Frank stuck his foot out to block you. He pushed Turk down to do it, who muttered complaints as he did.

“The hell is that?” Frank said as the bright pink gun stared back.

You almost laughed.

“It’s cute.” You teased, earning a glare from Frank. “Suits you.”

He offered you a sarcastic expression while Turk explained its origin and his policy on carrying ammo. However, the answers weren’t good enough for Frank so he pressed the gun forward again. While Turk tried to talk his way out of a headshot, you gripped your friend’s wrist and shot a stern look at him.

“No.” You mouthed and his brows furrowed. “We gain nothing.”

You watched his eyes dart between yours as he searched again for something. It made you a bit uneasy, to know there was some part of you that Frank could see no matter how you hid things away. No matter what was swallowed by the gap in your chest, Frank could find what should be there. You hated it but maybe you needed it.

Maybe Livia needed it.

“… isn’t on me, swear to God.” Turk finished, kissing three fingers and raising them to the ceiling.

“God..” You laughed mockingly. “You believe in God, Turk?”

“Right now I want to.”

You and Frank maintained your stare down until he eventually broke with a muttered response. You turned to Turk and spiked his fear until he passed out. From there, you and Frank raided the shipping container and found nothing. Frank commented on the vest, saying he liked the shirt better and you flipped him off for it.

That shirt wasn’t yours. It belonged to Exodus, to the Devil’s partner. Not whoever you were.

Back at the hideaway, Frank and Lieberman argued about the quality of the intel and the lack of real information from the NYPD.

“Find that shipment.” You pointed a stern finger at Lieberman. “You don’t or can’t and I’ve got a borrowed handgun that I’ll kill you with myself. Понимаешь?” (Understand?)

Frank looked over at you and you gave a small wave of goodbye. You headed back to your car, a hand slipping under the collar to fiddle with the ring before you drove back to your cold apartment. You saw your phone had a couple messages, both Billy and Dex hinting at a night out, but you continued to ignore them.

You knew you wouldn’t be any fun.

The next day, you had a message from Billy. He was asking to come into Anvil, said there was a bigger group of recruits coming in and he needed your help. With no other plans, you went. You went without your vest or protection, only a badge at your hip and a gun at your back. You hadn’t thought about getting a number for Frank or Lieberman, but you figured they’d reach out if they needed you. Or Frank would go through Karen to get to you. Either way, you couldn’t sit there and twiddle your thumbs until Lieberman could make good on his intel on the Greeks.

You walked into Anvil’s headquarters and were greeted with enthusiastic smiles or waves. You offered kind enough responses as you headed down the familiar halls to find Billy in the main room with a group bigger than you anticipated. You blew out a small sigh to release some of the growing tension and pulled your hair up before entering the room.

Small murmurs ran through the crowd upon your entrance but you ignored them. You took your usual place, a few feet behind the small runway Billy liked to pace during his introductory speech and in front of the other instructors. Your eyes scanned the crowd for anything that stuck out. Some hesitant body language, uncertain hands, shifty feet. Untrusting eyes, some darting away when they met yours and others offered a challenge. Some interest in your presence, most enthralled in Billy’s words. But a face, a younger boy from Curtis’ group, seemed to actively be avoiding eye contact as Billy began weaving through the crowd. He knew you were there, knew you’d recognize him. Something about that scared him, and that had your interest.

“Here at Anvil, if you are recruited…” He announced, finally catching sight of your appearance. “And that lies in the hands of our Talent Assessment and Training Specialist.” He held a hand out to you with a small smirk and you nodded in response.

You heard small comments about the badge at your hip but when you turned your head towards the source, eyes dropped and they sidestepped to be behind the person in front of them. You laughed to yourself and shook your head in disappointment.

“If you are recruited-” You spoke simply, your head held high as the eyes of the crowd all lifted towards you. “-you will have the chance to find the something that you’ve been missing.”

“A new brotherhood to call your own, something to fight for.” Billy continued. “To live for, even.”

“It won’t be easy.” You added. “I expect you all to push yourselves and each other. Try to impress me.”

“Good luck, everyone… You’ll need it.” Billy nodded and motioned for you to follow him to the side.

He gave you the rundown of the day, what stations would be running, and what general plans he had. You nodded absently, knowing it would more or less be the same plan as usual. But when he noticed you weren’t fully listening, the conversation shifted.

“What’d you see?” He asked instead.

“Hmm?” Your brows raised.

“With the group.” He smiled slightly. “Something stood out, didn’t it?”

“Most of them won’t respect me.” You said simply. “They were muttering comments since I walked in, won’t look me in the eyes.”

His head tilted back and forth as if in thought. “So make ‘em respect you. It’s never been a problem for you before.” He shrugged slightly. “Just maybe don’t break anything.”

“Yeah, no promises.” You shrugged in return and his smile earned one from you. You cursed yourself for it. “There was one kid that I recognized.”

“Good way?”

You pulled a face and reached for his arm to turn him towards the group that was getting broken down by one of the other staff members. You gave a small point towards the boy whose name you never could remember.

“I’d talk to Curtis about that one.” You answered. “He goes to group.”

“That worry you?”

“Get Curtis’ opinion first. Then we can talk about it.”

“I hate when you do that!” He complained though you were already heading towards the group.

You were working through the fitness trials with one of the other instructors when one of the men said something that scraped a nerve. You had been pointing things out for him to make note of - when they hit failure and what weights they were working with - when the snide comment seemed to snap something in you.

“She’s only here cause she’s hot.” He said to one of the men beside him and both chuckled before high-fiving each other.

“Hey!” You called out before a sharp whistle. “Wanna say that to my face?”

“C’mon.” He scoffed, hands out to the side. “We’re all thinkin’ it... You’re a total babe and it’s the only reason you’re the one who makes the calls. Might as well own it.”

“You sure know how to talk in front of all your friends.” You laughed, though there was no humor in the sound. “I bet, in your little head, you’re a big tough man, right?”

He opened his mouth to speak with a grin, shoulders lifting in a shrug.

“But in reality, I could put you on your ass without trying.” You cut in and the other recruits around offered a sound effect to punctuate the comment. “Put you right in your place.”

The instructor beside you stepped away while radiating a mild panic. The sensation brought a smirk to your lips as you uncliped your badge and pulled your gun. You handed them to the man beside you, who rushed a quiet attempt to get you to change your mind, but you were already moving forward. You gestured for the recruit to come closer and he did so with a proud smile.

“Look, I don’t wanna hurt you.” He said with a smug grin as the crowd began to tighten. “I served for a long time.”

“I wouldn’t stress about it.” You shrugged. “But it is ironic. You say all this shit in public but you want so bad to fuck me.”

“What?” His eyes went wide.

“The way you’ve been looking at me, the comments you make. All that noise when truthfully, you’re just a shitty guy with a fragile ego.”

The man chuckled and nodded as if to show a hesitant agreement but it was easy for you to tell that he was looking forward to the opportunity. You rolled your eyes as he exaggerated a routine of popping his knuckles and neck before gesturing for you to take the first hit.

You simply folded your hands behind your back.

With a small sneer, he made the first move. He threw a hard cross that you sidestepped, his momentum causing him to stumble forward. You dropped to kneel and used your shoulder to knock his knee from under him and the man fell to his back with a heavy thud. You scooted forward and placed a knee on his throat, though you were careful to keep your weight in the foot you had against the ground. You felt his hands on your leg to push you off so you moved first and rolled off, pushing yourself to your feet before repositioning your hands behind you.

The crowd molded and adjusted to where your little spat was going, widening and sliding as you two moved. You took a second to glance over to where Billy would sometimes watch from and saw he was distracted by a conversation with another instructor across the room. Before you could turn back, you felt a tight grip on your upper arm and were yanked back.

Your feet stumbled slightly but you gave no indication that it would benefit him. Instead, you calmly got your feet under you as you felt the arm creep around your neck. As the crowd engulfed you again, you shifted your arms to have your elbows sticking out. You jerked to the side roughly and your elbow slammed into the soft spot on the man’s side. You jabbed him again and again until his grip on you slipped. You stepped forward to give yourself room to land a firm kick to the center of his chest. He fell to his back with another loud smack and he coughed roughly with a hand against his chest as he scooted away from you.

He swung his feet desperately to knock you down and admittedly, it worked. His foot caught your ankle and knocked it in front of the foot you were stepping with so you fell forward, barely able to get your hands in front to stop you from crashing to your face. You had to throw an arm up quickly as his heel came towards your face. He kicked out again and again, your own forearm thumping against your head.

By then, you heard Billy’s voice echoing through the room.

The sound made him hesitant so you took advantage. You pushed yourself up enough and got to a kneel before you grabbed his extended ankle. He shot you a panicked look before you twisted him around so he laid on his face, his leg bent at an uncomfortable angle. Your foot pressed at the base of his hip and you felt the tension as his muscles tried to keep his leg in its socket. You twisted slightly and looked down to see the unnatural angle his knee was twisted at. He reached backward and you used the other foot to slam onto his wrist, earning a sharp cry of pain.

“Go ahead.” You taunted, having to consciously keep your accent out of your words. “Tell me again why I’m here.”

“This isn’t what I meant.” Billy said, a hand suddenly around your arm. “Let him go.”

“Don’t you wanna know what he said to me?” You challenged sharply, giving another tug on the leg that earned a scream. “Or better yet, what he wants to do to me.”

“C’mon, Livs.”

The man whimpered out a pathetic apology and pleaded for you not to hurt him. Only when he was legitimately scared and powerless did you let go.

“Hmm.” You hummed and dropped the man’s leg. You stepped over him and let Billy guide you away from the crowd. You turned over your shoulder and saw a few men helping him to his feet. “I don’t like him.”

“Consider him gone.” Billy nodded, his hand changing to sit on your lower back. “Let’s talk about it, alright?”

Once you two got to his office, he pulled your badge and gun from under his jacket. He handed them over to you and you quickly put them back into place.

“I’m so sick and fucking tired of being treated like this.” You complained, pacing the office space. “If I was a man, I’d be a fearless leader, an alpha type and I wouldn’t have them coming after me again and again and again. Every - fucking - where I go some guy who’s all bark, no bite has some stupid about me or my career.”

“You can’t just go after the ones you don’t like.” Billy reasoned and you turned on him quickly with a burning glare.

“You do realize why they think they can talk to me like that, right?” You said simply, despite the anger burning at the center of your throat begging to be released as a yell. “You could go out there and brag about bedding a new model every night, show off all the money in the world, and literally anything else you want.”

“It’s not about me, Livia. Any ideas they have of you are their own. You know I wouldn’t-“

“Oh but if I did it-“ You cut in and your voice began to rise. “If I was the one flashing my money, I’d be a bitch. They say that you hustled and put in the work, but it’s all about what I’m wearing and if I was rude or not.” You continued angrily, that burning heat clawing through your muscles to the point that your hands started to tremble.

“I’m not saying those guys weren’t wrong, alright?” His hands raised in concession while you crossed your arms. “But-“

“What’s it like when no one second guesses your worth?”

“C’mon, don’t be like that.”

“No, seriously.” You laughed in frustration. “They’re painting me out to be the bad guy, so it’s okay that I’m pissef off right now! Don’t try to downplay this, Billy!”

“I’m not, okay?” He carefully came around the desk and put his hands on your shoulders. “They were out of line. They’re done, alright? But what happened out there, that’s not about respect. That’s just fear.”

“Hmm.” You lifted your head slightly, a challenge glistening in your eyes. “Maybe I'd rather be feared.”

“Livia..” He sighed.

“Are you afraid of me?” You asked, genuinely curious. While as of late, you enjoyed being feared, some fragile little part of you hoped he wasn’t.

“No.” He offered a small smile.

Suddenly, you thought of the way Foggy flinched away from you. How Karen looked at you as if you were something out of a Stephen King novel.

“Maybe you should be.”

“Where is this coming from?”

You shrugged slightly. “I should go.”

“You’re gonna be like that with me, too?”

“It’s like you aren’t even listening.” You said simply, backing towards the door. “You don’t try to argue with me. You just give me what I ask for. It’s all kinda new to me.”

“And you don’t like it?”

You paused, thinking about it for a moment. It was all new with Billy, to notice him sneaking through hard-standing walls. Only to kick him out as soon as you realize, just for him to find a new way in. He was relentless in that way, a subtle pursuit that was unexpectedly understanding. Letting him in meant letting go of Matt to make room for him, and you couldn’t do that. Not then, maybe not ever.

Despite the pain in memories of Matt, he was the tether to your humanity. To Livia, to the woman you were meant to be. You knew if you lost that, you’d be no better than a nameless Widow. A faceless assassin that killed anyone in her way. A weapon, with no heart or soul or remorse. You may not care to be that person without him, but that didn’t mean you wanted her completely gone. Just a background voice in your head, a small tick on the scales of your morality that kept you from becoming someone you wouldn’t recognize.

“I don’t know.”

You were turning to leave when Curtis walked in.

“Hey.” He said with a smile that quickly faded. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, just gotta take off.” You answered easily.

“Well, hang on.” Billy cut in. “Now that we’re all here, let’s talk about the kid you’re worried about.”

“I really should go.” You shot Billy a glare.

“You’re worried about Lewis too?” Curtis asked you and you cursed quietly.

“Yeah, I told Billy to get your opinion.” You confessed. “It just doesn’t feel like a good fit for him here but you know him better than I do.”

“He’s living in a foxhole in his yard, Billy.” Curtis explained, moving deeper into the room to stand by Billy and leaving the doorway open. You had half a mind to leave but also wanted to ensure the kid didn’t make the cut. So instead, you stood on Billy’s other side. “And he almost put a bullet in his father.”

“Hell, who hasn’t wanted to do that?” Billy joked and you elbowed him in the ribs. “Maybe he just needs to get back into it. Kid wants to live in a tent, I can give that to him.”

“You won’t be doing him or yourself any favors if you put him in combat situations.” Curtis continued. “If I was out there, I wouldn’t want that kid watching my six.”

“I wouldn’t either... I’d rather go at it alone.” You shrugged.

“A team’s only as good as its weakest link.”

“You two think this one’ll snap?” Billy asked, looking between you two.

“Yeah.” You answered, watching Lewis through the office windows. Even from there, you could feel the unstable waves of his emotions. Crashing and rising, falling and shaking. “Just a matter of time.”

“So what happens when I cut him loose?” He turned to Curtis.

“You do your part, I’ll do mine.”

“Why ask for a consult if you weren’t gonna listen to us?” You challenged gently. “It’s just not worth it. Besides, let’s say you don’t listen to us and take him anyways. If something goes wrong, it’s your reputation that goes down.”

“Alright.” He nodded. “You’re coming with me.”

“No, I should g-“

“Let’s go, Pretty Lady.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and led you out, despite your grumbled complaints.

“Wilson!” You called out when you two got to the ground and Billy’s arm fell away. “Can we talk to you?”

“Of course.” He hurried over and you took a few more steps to the side.

“Lewis, right?” You began and he nodded. “Do you remember me? I go to group with Curtis sometimes.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded.

“You can just call me Livia.” You smiled politely.

“What’s with the foxhole in your backyard, Lewis?” Billy asked plainly and you shot him a look.

“Uh..” He glanced around nervously. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I gotta know what’s going on with all my guys. Lives depend on it, you know?”

“It was a… a project.” Lewis answered hesitantly. “Something to keep me busy.”

“Please don’t lie to us.” You said plainly, though enough edge to show you were serious. “It’s not that simple, is it?”

His eyes fell to the floor, almost in shame.

“And what do you figure the other guys would think?” Billy continued. “If I told them the guy watching their backs was living like that?”

“It’s nothing, sir. I’m fine.” He insisted.

“No, you’re not.” You cut in. “And that’s okay.”

Saying that nearly made you gag when you heard it. That was the same stupid line other people used on you and you never believed it either.

“Listen, this business… It’s all based on trust. I take her into the field-“ He gestured to you. “-I know she’s gonna have my back, right? Nothing to worry about. And those guys need that same feeling.”

“Please don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry, man. I can’t take that risk.”

He nodded slightly, using the end of his sleeve to wipe the growing tears. You frowned slightly and almost found yourself wanting to comfort him. Instead, you folded your hands behind your back.

“Was this..” He looked at you. “Was this Curtis?”

“We check in on all prospects.” You answered honestly. “He had a conversation with me too about what he found before I got the job.”

“For just this kinda thing.” Billy added. “ It’s got nothing to do with Curtis.”

“Are you saying it wasn’t him?”

“I suggest you watch the tone, Wilson.” You warned and Billy’s hand tapped the back of your shoulder. A quiet way of telling you it was alright.

“I’m saying that it doesn’t matter.” Billy answered smoothly.

“I don’t believe you. He told me not to come here and then he spikes me. He’s a goddamn snake.”

“Hey, hey, hey. Easy.” Billy cut in and your hands balled into fists. “I don’t know you, kid. Now, Curtis Hoyle, he saved my ass on more than one occasion. One of the best men I ever had the fortune of serving with.”

“What about her?” He gestured to you. “She goes to that group, same as me.”

“It isn’t about who goes to group.” You shook your head.

“She was working for me before she started going. Besides, that’s not what it’s about, nor is it your business who I employ.” Billy added, and you had to admit, something was comforting about him defending you.

Stop that.

“If you need work, Lewis, we can find a place for you around here.” You offered, hoping to talk around the man’s rising temper.

“You’re gonna give me a job mopping floors?” He spat sharply, clearly too angry to listen. “Emptying trash? Is that ‘making good on the investment my country made in me’?” He threw Billy’s words back at him and Billy didn’t have an answer.

“You’re just another liar in command.” Lewis continued.

“Okay.” You said firmly. “We’re done here. You need to leave. Of your own accord or I can personally escort you out. Up to you.”

Lewis released a shaky breath before stepping forward and lifting his chin in challenge. Your arms unwrapped themselves and sat at your sides, fingers twitching with the promise of another fight. You noticed the shift in Billy’s body language as well, but his hand moved over slightly in front of you to keep you in place.

“Now.” Billy added firmly.

He looked between the two of you in contemplation and you rolled your eyes to yourself. You focused in and found his anger, his willingness to fight. You pushed it away from you two and raised the hesitation of standing against you two. You added in on the fear of what you two were capable of and he backed off.

He ranted on his way out, trash-talking the brotherhood Billy talked about, and even spat on the floor. You wanted to react but knew there were too many eyes on you. Instead, you decided to blow off steam with whatever Frank was up to. You told Billy you just needed to calm down and you’d call him later. He offered you a nice dinner but sitting in a restaurant in a fancy dress wasn’t exactly going to help.

Instead, you went home and got out of your work clothes. You switched to a long-sleeved compression top, which happened to be black with red seams. You grumbled slightly about how even in death the Devil haunted you. You stood in front of the closed doors that hid the remains of your suit. The rumbles in your chest banged loudly, slamming against your ribs with enough force to rock through your bones. You took a deep breath and yanked the doors open, ignoring the echoing in your chest.

You ignored Matt’s chest and went right to your collection of equipment. You found your original mask, with the stained red cracked lens, along with its’ replacement that was caked with the blood of Hand members. Looking at the second mask also held the memory of Elektra’s first death, Matt’s miraculous save when you were thrown from the hospital window, fighting Kitchen Irish beside Matt and Frank. You wanted to snap it in half.

Instead, you shoved your original into your waistband and adjusted your shirt to hide it fully. You tucked a knife into the top of each boot and stuck a gun at your back. Your wrists felt bare without your Bites, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to want to find them. So off you went, tugging down the seams of your sleeves in an attempt to hide the exposed joint, and went off to the hole in the wall Frank was currently camping at.

[dalmascan-requiem]

Lente's Hymn: Resistance - Chapter 6

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Perhaps it takes one to know one, or perhaps someone just needs to state the obvious.

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Read on AO3 or keep reading after the jump

content warnings: none

< Previous Chapter | Next Chapter >

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Lord, someone get through to my idiot boys, please

Also Cid totally did this to Nero and he's a bit like "oh gods I'm not letting this happen again", this is a CidxNero divorced dads household

"You've been around camp for a while now. What happened?"

Laurent looked up from cleaning his gunblade, and tsked at the Garlean staring down at him. "You. What do you want?"

"I have a name, you know–"

"I didn't ask for it."

"Well, you're certainly agreeable company, aren't you?"

Laurent frowns as he sets down a few gears in a huff. "What do I need to do for you to leave me alone, Cid?"

"Oh, so you do know my name! I'm touched." Cid sat across from Laurent, an obnoxiously bright smile on his face. Hells, what is with this man?

"You're in a good mood for someone whose pupil has been abducted."

Cid's smile falters slightly. "You can be as rude as you want, I'm not leaving until we chat."

There's only one reason he'd be so interested in me, of all people… Laurent glares at Cid for a moment longer, before sighing and wiping the grease off his hands. "...Fine. Not as if I'm doing anything else."

Cid nods, then turns away slightly, staring at a spot on a tent. "No one knows anything about Kris. It's always been more than being a private person–if anyone tried to ask about him, he'd always steer the conversation elsewhere. Or just silently glared until they went away. I wonder where he learned that from…"

Laurent rolls his eyes, and Cid chuckles before continuing. "I… know a bit more about Kris, though it wasn't on purpose. When Livia Junius came to Eorzea–"

"Livia? The Witch of Dalmasca?" Laurent doesn't raise his voice, but anger is writ plain on his face.

Cid nods gravely. "When she came to Eorzea… she captured the leaders of the Scions… and killed the rest. Kris was away on a mission when the attack happened, but when he returned…" He shook his head. "Eventually, the two fought as Eorzea pushed against the Garleans. When he confronted her, Kris had forgotten about our linkpearl, and mentioned the Barheim Incident and the comrades he lost…"

"...She's dead, then?"

"Yes. Good riddance." Cid gives a frustrated wave before continuing. "Anyway, he asked me not to tell anyone about him being Dalmascan, and I'm no fool–I wasn't about to face the wrath of the Warrior of Light by sharing an easily kept secret.

"But I felt for Kris. It was clear this whole business of saving the world weighed heavily on him. Nor did it help when the Eorzean Alliance turned against him, and he saw more of his allies killed. Those grieving are quick to point fingers at the person they think should have stopped it…" 

Cid frowned, though there was a hint of sadness to it. "I tried to offer what support I could, not only on the behalf of the Ironworks but… well, as a friend. He was always reluctant to take the latter, though."

Laurent sighs softly, crossing his arms. Eir, you've gotten stronger… you pretended not to care, but you always tried to protect those you cared about. But you always took it so hard when you couldn't. It's little wonder then… He thought back to their reunion, and how Kris said the lies were to protect Laurent–and remembered the pain he failed to hide in his eyes, the pain he ignored when swept up in his own emotions.

"Why do you think you're here?" Cid's pointed question brought Laurent out of his ruminations. "Here at camp, cleaning your gunblade and counting inventory instead of being on the frontlines? You're clearly capable of holding your own out there."

Laurent knitted his brow. "I thought he was upset I didn't make it in time to save Mikoto…"

"Well, Kris was upset, but not at you. He blames himself. He always does." Cid's expression is a mix of sadness and exasperation. "He just doesn't want the same to happen to you. He doesn't want to see you hurt."

Laurent looks at Cid and gives a frustrated sigh. "I understand, I do, but–"

"Would you have done anything different?"

"...What?" 

"If it were Kris that was at risk of being hurt, and you had the power to stop it, even if it meant leaving him or making him hate you… Would you do it?"

Laurent's eyes widen and he quickly breaks Cid's gaze. Would I…? I already did… at the village… He clutched at a crossed arm with his hand, staring at the rings on his fingers.

"Seems I've hit a pain point. I won't pry." 

Gods, this man, he's so strange… Why does he care so much? "Why are you telling me all this?"

"Because I had some similar issues, and the two of you are idiots that'll never talk to each other. I'm just pushing things along so I don't have to keep watching you two squabble. It's annoying." 

Laurent almost snaps back at the Garlean, but stops and chuckles instead. He sounds just like Gemna used to. She wasn't wrong…

Cid raises an eyebrow. "Not quite the reaction I expected from you."

"Ah, it's just… you reminded me of someone. My old mentor." Laurent shakes his head, then picks up one of the gunblade's gears again, wiping it carefully with a cloth. "...Thank you, for caring about Kris."

"That's what friends are for, are they not?" Cid looks at Laurent through the side of his eye. "Even ones that are incredibly rude whenever you talk to them."

Laurent rolled his eyes as he began cleaning another gear. "You're the one that bothered me."

"...How in the hells anyone puts up with you is a mystery–"

A sudden commotion cuts Cid's retort off, and they both look towards the soldiers rushing past. Strange, what's happening? It can't be an attack, it's too calm…

"Best see what's happening this time." Cid stands up, stretching his back as he looks back at Laurent. "You coming?"

"I suppose I must." Looking at the disassembled gunblade with annoyance, he stands up and heads to the command tent.

~~~

"Settle down, everyone!"

Kris cast tired eyes over the gaggle of soldiers at the command tent. Word spreads fast… He could hear some of them talking about how the 'southern front is won' and how it was 'time to retake the Castrum'. It's about time, really.

These past few weeks have been a blur for the Warrior of Light. The battles were nigh neverending, but he managed to carve a path through the Garlean forces and secured a route to Castrum Lacus Litore. We'll be there soon, Mikoto. Just hang on a little longer.

Something catches Kris's eye, and he turns his gaze to spot fuchsia eyes staring at him from the crowd… and a mess of silver hair right next to him. Godsdamnit Cid, what did you do this time?

"Alright, listen up!" Bajsaljen's voice cuts through the chattering, and the soldiers fall silent to listen to their leader. "It was hard-fought, but the time has finally come–it's time to drive the Garleans out of the Alermuc Fortress and free the Southern Front from their tyranny!"

Kris keeps a straight face as cheer rings out from the crowd. Hard-fought for who, exactly…?

"Tomorrow, at dawn, we lay siege to the castrum. Make your preparations now, and get some rest. Dismissed."

The soldiers quickly disperse, eager to prepare for the assault. Kris sighs. I can't shake this exhaustion, but soon… Once Mikoto's safe, he'll rest. Surely, the Resistance can keep it together a day or two without him. First, though…

He quickly scans the crowd again, and spotting Laurent, he works his way around the soldiers to him. "Blade Elja."

"I–Yes?" Laurent quickly turns around and fails to meet Kris's gaze. Huh, what's with him? No matter…

"Have you rested enough? I'll need you when we march on the Castrum tomorrow."

"...I see. I'm useful now, am I? I'm shocked you're not asking me to defend the camp instead."

"I never said you weren't useful. I only said I needed you to rest."

Laurent doesn't bother to hide his frustration. "Fine. Yes, I'm well-rested. I'll make sure no Garlean stabs you in the back tomorrow."

"You needn't be so testy." I'm far too tired for this… "I'll see you at dawn, then." Kris turns around and makes for his tent before the other Viera could respond.

~~~

Cid watches the two talk from a short distance away. He cannot hear their words, but their body language clearly indicates that their conversation isn't pleasant.

Gods… they really are idiots…

[liviavanrouge]

Livias class, flight and alchemy lines

Class

--Good Lines(Depending on the time)--

"This is kinda boring..."

"I wonder how far the Thorn Queens thorns could go"

"Jaguar...mutiny war"

"I learned all this from Nilo!"

"Silver said to work hard!"

"Who told this raggedy cat to come near me, he better move before I scorch his tail"

"Maybe I'll go to the library after this"

"I wanna see Headmaster Crowley!"

"I miss Crowley's presence"

--Great lines--

"Yay!"

"Tututu~"

"Wow, that's a fact!"

"I'm a bit annoyed right now..."

--Perfect Lines--

"Wowie!! Wowzers! Woah!"

"I did well, didn't I!?"

"I remembered that, hehe!"

"Hehehe, Leona taught me this one"

Special Lesson

"Crowley!"

"I'll do my best for the headmaster!"

"Mal Mal, Silver! I did it!!"

----

Flight

--Good(Depending on the time)--

"How fun!"

"Let's all be careful alright?"

"Silver says I'm a great flier!"

"WOAH! AH! SILVER HELP!!"

"I don't like areas that have too much sun, hurts my eyes and skin..."

"Grim...fly with me now"

"Bat Dad says to not be in the air for too long"

"Sebek says to take it slow and steady..."

"Hmph, where's Crowley?"

--Great--

"Weeee! Fun~"

"I used my wings for this one!"

"I wish Silver would be more careful..."

"Oh Trey! Look at me!"

--Perfect--

"Riddle says I look stiff.."

"Tututu~ the breeze feels great!"

"I wonder if Sebek is doing okay..."

"I see the orchard from here!"

Special

"This is amazing!!!"

"Ahahaha! Big brother look!"

"Honestly, flying is easy or are you all stupid"

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Alchemy

--Good(Depending on the time)

"Stir it nice and slow..."

"Nasty smell!! Make it go away!"

"Mal Mal says to be careful"

"Big brother, big brother look! It changed"

"Silver!!! Wake up!"

"Oh no...Silver..."

"Vil taught me how to make this one!"

"Cowabunga!! Hehe, Floyd taught me that"

"This is gonna hurt my nose...."

--Great--

"Something on my coat?"

"Go back to where you came from..oh wait they don't want you, sorry I forgot"

"Honestly! Be more careful!

"Hah! I guess this is how Sebek feeks!"

--Perfect--

"Oh wow!"

"Rook, I did it!

"Haru, don't you dare!"

"Big brother, thanks for helping!"

Special

"How worthless are you!?"

"Do it right stupid, Crowley is watching!"

"Why are you even here, you're just a drag!"

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Battle Lines

Battle Start: "Why are you even here?"

When Selected:

"I'm ready!"

2. "I don't wanna.."

3. "In we go!"

4. "Charge!"

Effect Usage:

Debuff: "I'll tell my big brother!"

Buff: "Use the magic wisely!"

Getting attacked:

"*Yowls*"

"Ouchie!"

Attacking:

"Cry Louder" -By Herself going first

"Disgusting!" -By Herself going first

"You hurt my eyes" -By herself going second

"You're useless!" -By herself going second

"Ugh, can we finish this!?" -With another student her going first

"Watch out weakling!" -With another student her going first

"I'll crush you worm!" -With another student her going second

"How much longer?" -With another student her going second

--Double Attacking--

"Why do I gotta fight you.." -By herself going first

"Bow your head!" -by herself going first

"Man, you're pathetic" -by herself going second

"I know best, heh~" -by herself going second

"I've been prepared for this!" -With another student her going first

"You entered a Jaguar den!" -with another student her going first

"This is a waste.." -with another student her going second

"Oh my God! Go down already!" -with another student her going second

--triple hits--

"You're dead!" -By herself going first

"How are you this worthless" -by herself going first

"Learn your place vermin!" -by herself going second

"Why do I bother..." by herself going second

"Wretched vermin! I'll make you cry!" -With another student her going first

"Honestly, are you even trying?" -with another student her going first

"I shall bury you alive!" -with another student her going second

"How dare you!?" -with another student her going second

--magic 3--

"Squeal in fear"

"You have some pathetic spells"

"Compared to me you're a bug"

"Unsightly rat!"

---

Battle Win

"Hah! How worthless you are"

Battle Lose

"Am I....worthless?"

@anxious-twisted-vampire @yukii0nna @writing-heiress @zexal-club @marrondrawsalot @yumeko2sevilla

@queen-of-twisted @pekoetiikapu @teddymochi

[shes-a-badkid]

Thoughts while reading The Trials of Apollo - “The Dark Prophecy” with my nephew-

1. I still cannot get over the name Lester for Apollo

2. Even after being humbled a bit, he is still the cockiest bastardized out there

3. I love the idea of Leo just having a good time with his girlfriend and his dragon and helping a God out and then there is Calypso and Apollo just snarking at each other the whole time

4. I love Calypso so much- just straight punches someone, breaks her hand, and almost immediately says fuck it and kicks someone and breaks her foot. I just really identify with this

5. Poor Leo- had to leave Festus again. WHEN WILL MY SON GET A BREAK, RICK?!

6. Oh poor Emmie and Josephine! If this book doesn’t end with them getting their daughter back I will be seeking financial compensation

7. I’m obsessed with Emmie and Josephine, every new thing I learn about them just adds to my love

8. Apollo and Calypso on a quest with no Leo to buffer… I’m so here for this- the sass with be *chefs kiss* impeccable

9. I really like that Apollo’s memory is iffy right now because I truly don’t know who most of these people are and him remembering doesn’t feel like a generic info dump

10. Hell yeah, Meg!!! Run away from those assholes! (But please don’t make me sad again)

11. Apollo- how are you so thirsty? Like we haven’t focused on the gods in as much detail as you, but you seem like a thirty bitch. Now I know you can’t possibly be as thirsty as Zeus, but you might come close

12. So far on this quest we have Calypso doing like 85% of the work- picking locks, grifting the two searching for them into believing she was cursing them- what a queen. And you know, Apollo is also there, like good job with that train buddy, you helped!

13. Hell yeah, Meg! Take his ass out! (I think ‘hell yeah, Meg’ might become my catchphrase thought this series)

14. Okay Apollo- nice work letting all the animals loose, that was clutch

15. Sure, Apollo, you totally didn’t cry when Meg hugged you. We all totally believe you 😑

16. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more time- I am obsessed with Josephine

17. “I was, after all, selfless, caring, and all around nice guy.” And just when I was feeling a bad for you my dude

18. Oh poor, Georgina, your mind is just mashed bananas right now

19. Look at you Apollo being all smart and melting that door- I would say I’m proud but the ego doesn’t need the compliment

20. PEACHES!!! NOOOOO! My sweet, little maniac

21. Festus! My favorite boy 🐉

22. Thalia about to kick some ass like the boss bitch she is

23. I love that Lityerses immediately went from down to kill for Commodus to I’m gonna kill Commodus for thinking of killing me and joining the side of good

24. Apollo may have fully won me over for staying back just to save Livia the elephant- also what a sight to see Thalia being a badass while escaping on a elephant

25. Leo and Calypso staying at the waystation makes so much sense and I’ll miss them so much, but also I would totally ready a book about Leo and Calypso at the waystation with Josephine and Emmie

26. Apollo hating his arrow is the best. I love a god having beef with an inanimate object

27. Oh Meg, my dear, I just want to hug you!

28. Apollo may be a self centered douche like 90% of the time but my man has a lot of feelings. Like- he cares for Meg so much, he just wanted to save Livia the elephant, he is passionate in his hatred of slavery, and he is so worried for his friends at the waystation

29. What is this red lightning, Jamie?!? I am intrigued

30. Sssssarah is delightful and I would love for her to just randomly pop up

31. Can we leave Festus alone, please

32. RICK! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE GONNA KILL OFF A LOVELY GRIFFIN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH (laid an egg… whatever) AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY?!? RIP Heloise

33. The delight I feel at just the mention of Coach Hedge is entirely normal! Stop judging me!

34. GROVER! MY SWEET SATYR!

[d2sejanus--plinth]

"You sure have a very rich imagination, that I can say. You need to slow down, you're fucking spiraling," the curse word slipped unbidden, he didn't want to give her the satisfaction of seeing him angry, but he did feel the heat rise within him and he didn't know how much more he could take; she was so good at taunting, her voice scraping at his brain so uncomfortably, he wanted her to shut up so badly. "You don't know anything about Coriolanus and me." He spat, unable to hide the malice in his voice, god, he couldn't even stand it when she said Coriolanus' name, she didn't even deserve to have his name on her lips.

He could tell that the pieces were falling together for her, in her head, unfortunately she was not a ditzy dumb woman, no, she was quite intelligent and perceptive, too, and he could tell by the expressions flitting by her face that the puzzle in her head was clearer, that an image was starting to form, he felt sickened. He truly didn't want to expose anything, not of himself, not of Coriolanus, not of the both of them, but Livia was so terrible and so cutting with her words, and it seemed she was really so keen on stealing Coriolanus from him, the edges of his vision hazed with red.

"Yeah, we sure did. I lived through the war, too, Livia. You'll never know him like I do. You'll never know what makes him tick, you'll never see him vulnerable, you'll never know his secrets," he really shouldn't run his mouth like this, but Livia angered him so much it all spilled out, definitely possessive, he was sounding like a jealous lover, but once that impulse let loose inside of him it was hard to stop. His face felt hot with anger and he rolled his eyes at Livia still sounding oh so sure of everything. At her even being threatening; he wasn't surprised that she was most worried about Coriolanus' reputation in regards to her own reputation, that she wanted to be First Lady. It was scary how much she did resemble Coriolanus in some ways, maybe in another life they'd have been true partners. It was only a fleeting thought, though. He burst out laughing.

"Every. night. I'll give him what he wants, Livia." He enunciated, "You're insane if you think I'd do anything to compromise Coryo. I know what he's after. Coriolanus will be President, you aren't wrong, dear," the faked saccharine endearment slipped, his voice having calmed a bit again, taking on a more controlled tune. "Don't be delusional. It's very unbecoming. Your little temper tantrum doesn't scare me away."

And it didn't. There was nothing in the world that would make him back off, that would make him abandon Coriolanus. He smirked when Livia so crudely told him he were her guest if he wanted to act like Coriolanus' whore, incensed with her ever thinking he'd need her permission for anything, really, or her opinion. His words were clipped, hissed between his teeth, "Fuck you. Remember when you called Coriolanus about the flower arrangements, Livia? I was fucking him right then. I was giving it to him good. Hearing him curse you out after you ended the call was a massive turn on."

Livia watched Sejanus closely, hoping that he might give something away even if it was just a look. Panic. Anger. An attempt to scramble away to run to Coriolanus and tell him of this conversation. But Sejanus gave little away, staring at her almost blankly at first and making no attempt to leave just yet. She had tried to push every button she could. A mention of their time as Peacekeepers and their return to the Capitol, alongside throwing in a cold reminder that Coriolanus was her husband now, at least to everyone that mattered. "Best friends? Is that what you call it?" Livia hissed at him. "I wouldn't think you would be looking for a wife, not given what I know now. Perhaps Coriolanus can find you someone that is pathetic enough to marry you, to help cover your tracks." Had that been the plan? Coriolanus would marry her and they'd find someone to marry Sejanus so no one could ever be the wiser about their involvement. "I know what I saw! Don't waste your time denying it!" Her glare narrowed as he once more tried to deny what she had seen. From the hug, she might have been left wondering but the kiss on the top of Sejanus head from Coriolanus had left no doubt of just what she was seeing. A lovers embrace. Had he been comforting his little boyfriend because of the wedding? Was Sejanus that upset that Coriolanus had married someone else? He was never going to marry him. To do so would be foolish, it would cost him everything. He would never have a chance at the Presidency if he married a man, especially a District man. No, he needed a pretty little wife. A Capitol born woman who could give him children when the time came. She fit the bill perfectly and it was an ideal arrangement. She would be First Lady and she wasn't going to let Coriolanus or Sejanus ruin this for her. Not now that it was all within her grasp. Things made more sense now. Everything clicked into place as she thought more about it. This was why Coriolanus had never taken her to bed. She had certainly been willing but he had always assured her that he wanted to wait until they were married. Traditional values were a staple in the Capitol and she had always wondered if that was why he wanted them to wait. She had never made the mistake thinking he was a gentleman, although she had been almost touched that he wanted to wait until they both were wearing rings. But no, he was too busy fucking Sejanus Plinth to desire her. Did he even desire her at all? Not that he needed to, but she will would have liked to feel desirable, even if it was just when they were going to make a baby. It was also why he wouldn't let her move into the Penthouse. She had had her eye on that apartment, long before she had started 'dating' Coriolanus. It was the most beautiful apartment in all of the Capitol and she had wanted it so desperately. To call it home. To bring her friends and family there. To show it off in the right magazines. But Coriolanus wouldn't hear of it and had shut down the conversation each time she had tried to bring it up. We should have a fresh start. To begin our new life together, he would always say. It wasn't about a fresh fucking start! He lived there with Sejanus! It made sense now. The Plinths owned the apartment underneath the Penthouse. How easy would it be for Sejanus to slip upstairs without anyone seeing him? Coriolanus staff must know, for surely they cooked for them and cleaned the apartment. No wonder he wouldn't let Claudius or Anastasia come and work for them! They knew everything too.

Livia was about to snarl an accusation about the Penthouse when suddenly Sejanus was growling back at her, clearly having lost his temper. Any denial he might have been clinging to was gone with each sentence that slipped from his mouth. He was angry, jealous and clearly needing to stake his claim on the man he thought was his. So the relationship was serious. It wasn't just a fumble and clearly he had been going on for a long time. This could be a problem. "I've known him longer than you! We used to play together long before you and your dirty little District family moved here to the Capitol! And we all went through hard times Sejanus! Boo Hoo! You're not that special! We lived through a war!" She growled back at him. Her family had been wealthy even back then but they had all suffered. She didn't know just what had happened when they'd been Peacekeepers and she didn't want to know but it was clear the relationship had been ongoing for quite sometime. "Every night? You think you'll be fucking him every night? He's my husband now Sejanus and I won't let either of you two risk my reputation or my hard work. Coriolanus will be President and I'm not going to let you ruin that!" she spat at him. "You want to act like Coriolanus' whore, be my guest. But you will not come between us and Coriolanus being President." She didn't want to be just another rich mans wife. She wanted to be the Presidents wife and she wasn't going to let anyone - especially someone District born - prevent that from happening.

[starswornoaths]

This Blessed Day - Ch. 7

@blackestnight's commission continues! (also oh my god, I forgot editing in mobile removes the "read more" break on the last chapter, that's been fixed, I'm so sorry about that)

Lucia is left with her thoughts, and the roiling anxiety in the pit of her stomach. A conversation with Aymeric does little to alleviate her woes.

Word count: 2,995

Prev

~*~

It was well enough into autumn that the weather had taken a turn for the colder, and that fire in her chest had yet to abate.

The Black Wolf has yet to rear a weak pup. May you not be the first.

Lucia’s stomach knotted itself up all over again, as was its wont, of late. Just before dinner, it inspired her to excuse herself through the servant’s entry in the kitchens to get some fresh air in the quiet, crisp evening. The little fenced in yard was quiet, but peaceful, and it gave her space to disentangle her emotions. Or at least, attempt to.

If nothing else, the dark was a familiar sort of calm; it reminded her of better jobs, in simpler days, when her life was only gray and gaslight, and a bit of work from within the shadows. Needing to feel as though she could still hide, just for a few moments, she hunched low, crouched and observed her hands as they wrung and fidgeted.

The Black Wolf has yet to rear a weak pup. May you not be the first.

Before she had been captured, even, just the recollection of that thinly veiled threat was enough to make her heart lurch. At the time, the comment had been easily brushed off; she had never failed a job before, and she had worked her way into being a spy on the same merits that she had fostered in herself, under Lord Gaius’ tutelage.

Logically, she knew, even at the time, that she was being pressured because of her sister climbing higher in the ranks than she did. She was a reflection of Livia’s stock, and the quality thereof. They were meant to inspire one another, to reach greater heights together.

The difference, one that no one seemed to care to notice, was that it was Livia, who wanted to aim higher. To drag herself up, and reclaim the safety of being in their adopted father’s inner circle, in particular. To make her feel protected, in that way that the Empire itself never could.

Whatever resentment that Lucia might have harbored toward Livia, for effectively throwing her to the side for the chance to claw her way back to the man that had helped raise them, she could never begrudge Livia the why, of it all.

Lucia had found her own sliver of protection—or, rather, she had thought that she had. The more time she spent away from home, and the longer that she ruminated on that Tribunus Militum’s snide comment, the more she realized that, at some point, she must have done something to piss someone off, in high command.

Possibly even Gaius himself, for all she knew. Or Livia.

This assignment, one she had thought had been given to her for her excellence in her field, had been, she swiftly realized, a direct attempt on her life. Even if it hadn’t been perceived that way by her immediate commanding officer, he got his orders from somewhere out of her reach, and there was evidently only room for one Junius, in the upper echelon of the military, insofar as those who mattered cared.

If it had even been that personal; the turnaround on spies was notoriously high, often rotated out to R&D’s security details, or somewhere higher in clearance, for the exceptional ones whose skill outweighed the risk of keeping them alive and knowing too much. Or, those who had lived through the attempt to “retire” them.

You’ll get a job thrown in your lap that will likely kill you, eventually. Ouroboros had said, several times, throughout his lessons in espionage and subterfuge, in between as many blows as he could, during their combat training. And it’s either because someone’s impressed with you, or because someone hates you. Regardless, it is a test. Succeed, or else. And remember: it’s when, not if, you get one. Because you will.

The tendons in her hands ached in the faint chill of the evening. She flexed and clenched her fingers, and, when she realized it would not calm the buzzing in her nerves, plucked a wayward stick, likely fallen from the branches hanging overhead, and took to lightly etching and poking at a spare, empty patch in the garden. It was hardly a hobby she was attached to, but it was something for her hands to do, while she mulled over her thoughts.

She had thought herself good enough to get cycled up, promoted into something cushy and quiet, where she could keep her head down, and have enough time to herself, to find a proper reason to live. Naive as it had been, she’d been banking on her penchant for avoiding the scuttlebutt, and the petty infighting, being enough to keep her from being rotated out, in favor of new staff.

“What is that you’re sketching there?” Aymeric asked, startling her out of her thoughts.

She’d been so focused on the movement of the stick in her hand, Lucia hadn’t even realized the shape she was sketching, rough as it was, until his question prompted her to take in what she had faintly dug into the earth. The ring she’d drawn was a bit lopsided and misshapen, but the pointed arrow marking where the ring overlapped to make itself complete, she recognized what she’d been drawing.

When she looked up at him, standing over by the doorway some paces off, he was haloed by the light coming in from the kitchens. In his hand, he held up a muffin he’d doubtless absconded with from the kitchens. Margelyne would smack his hand with a wooden spoon, once she found out...provided she hadn’t already.

After measuring what she deemed good enough for an answer, she replied, “An Ouroboros,” and resumed her idle poking and strokes with the stick.

The etching became more focused as she defined the outline of the snake, looped around itself, as she continued, “Admittedly, hadn’t really decided to sketch it. Just sort of…happened.”

Aymeric made a noise in the back of his throat as though he understood—maybe he’d also been prone to idle scribbling. Or journaling. He looked like someone who kept a journal.

Breaking the muffin in his hand in half, he squatted by where she knelt and offered her the bigger piece. She took the proffered half with a startled word of thanks.

“A dragon eating its own tail. Any particular symbolism for you?” He asked, before he popped a bit of muffin in his mouth.

“The beginning and ending of all things,” Lucia recited the mythology, by heart, because the tale had always, always prefaced the lesson. After chewing on a bite of muffin, and his words both, she noted, “Though...you said dragon. In Garlemald, it’s a serpent. It’s not on any government symbols, but I always see— used to see— this symbol, in some way or another, on every medicus clinic in my district.”

“Fascinating,” Aymeric hummed, and he seemed to take a genuine interest. He settled back on his haunches, and, after swallowing another bite of muffin for himself, asked, “What does it mean to you, that it inspires you to draw it when left to your thoughts?”

“…For me? It’s…familiar, I suppose.” Lucia said, shrugging the shoulder not tracing the lines deeper in the dirt. “Like I said, I saw it everywhere.”

She studied her own crude drawing for a moment, in contemplative silence, as they both finished off the last few bites of their foodstuff. Her handiwork was a far cry from the clean, neat lines that were often laser etched into glass, or burned onto wood signs, in the poorer districts, not unlike where she had grown up. Despite how many years it had been since she had last ventured out to the fringes of the capital, she could remember clearly how often she would see the almost artful depictions of the serpent adorning the doors—that’s how you know you’re in the right place for Papa’s medicine, sweetheart, she remembered how her mother would wheeze, pressing meager coins into palms too little to hold them.

“You are homesick.” Aymeric’s sympathetic tone drew her out of her rumination, and she looked up to see him offering her a wincing smile.

She was tempted to ask if he knew what it felt like at all; she couldn’t picture him travelling terribly far from Ishgard, for how notoriously strict the city was, even with its citizenry. In many ways, especially with its citizenry. Swallowing the question down with the lump that had formed in her throat, she opted to look back down at her crude drawing.

“In a sense, I suppose. Though admittedly, my home is not my own, even in Garlemald.”

Expecting questions wanting elaboration, it surprised her instead when Aymeric nodded. “Career military, then? Naught outside of it?” At her nod, he shrugged. “So it is for me— insofar as is not expected of me by m— the Borels.”

That confession was a spark that set off a chain reaction in her chest: first, she felt surprised. Surprised, because she hadn’t expected him to be so solitary in a house that, by her every estimation, considered him part and parcel of its lifeblood. That shock was only momentary. It was engulfed by the ensuing anger that ran hot in her ribcage. He spoke with entirely too much confidence that they could relate, for one brought into such privilege. What did he know of not having a home? What did he know of it, having the choice that he did?

“…You said it was a dragon, in Halonic iconography.” Lucia spoke up in a distant tone to change the subject. “Why?”

“You know at least some details of the Dragonsong War, I imagine.” He began dryly, and she nodded; it wasn’t exactly a secret.

He held out his hand far enough to catch her eye, and when she realized what he was asking for, she handed him the stick she had drawn with. His hand was practiced, if awkward, as he began to draw lines branching out from the serpent—ah, a wing, she realized when it had begun to resemble a long bat.

“As it is taught, our history is inextricably intertwined with that of the dragons; time was, we lived in peace, once. When King Thordan was betrayed by a dragon, however, it sparked a conflict that rages on to this day. The Ouroboros is a warning and reminder both, in Ishgard: a cycle of life and death. Of the Dragonsong War itself, were one more philosophically inclined.”

The teeth marked and bared upon the wyrm’s own tail, Aymeric handed the stick back to her. She was grateful that he seemed to understand her need for something to pull her focus from her words, for them to come out at all. For that, she was grateful.

“Seems a grim mark, especially one to teach to children.”

“’Tis the way of it here.” Aymeric shrugged, still studying the etching. “It is the most crucial cog in any war machine.”

“Scaring children with bedtime stories?” She balked.

He seemed unaffected by her question, and paused to look up at her plainly. “Propaganda. You are familiar, I presume.”

For a moment, she didn’t necessarily know what to say to that. She finally settled on, “I would be a fool not to be.”

“Anyone would be, truly. Naught is too sacred to use as fuel to keep a war going— history, perhaps, least of all.”

Lucia had begun moving the stick without thought, adding details to the altered drawing. Scales, to lend it a more Dravanian appearance.

“So it has ties to your history. Fine. But that’s what it means to the church.” She noted. “You didn’t mention what it meant to you.”

“I suppose, that answer is one and the same—to a point.” Aymeric took another moment to ponder his next words. “Mayhap, in some ways, the symbol reminds me of…home, in a more general sense.”

She couldn’t help but note the care with which he chose his words there, that told her that he was not referring to the Borel household, but Ishgard itself. Perhaps it was healthy of him to speak as though he were in the presence of a spy. He was, after all. Technically speaking. For however successful she had been at it.

The stick lifted from the drawing, replanting itself near where she had made a forked tongue stick out of its mouth, overlapping on the tail. Jagged lines were drawn on either side. The dragon bore fangs, now.

“We toil in the same way as our ancestors did, spill blood as our ancestors did, and we go nowhere. This war has been at the longest stalemate in history, and we have changed nothing, in all that time, and we wonder why we are getting nowhere.” Aymeric snorted derisively under his breath, and the noise struck her as odd coming from him; he had rarely been anything but well mannered. “Madness.”

It was…startling, in how refreshing it was, to hear say that. More so when it was one she felt she could, at least, trust enough to not actively seek to harm her. Maybe it was because she was so starved for that, for conversation that she felt she could engage in, that she made that reason enough, for her to hesitantly open up, just a little, about her own experiences. Not enough to compromise her, for goodness’ sakes, but it never hurt to have someone on the inside just a little bit endeared to her.

Mind thus made up, Lucia tipped her proverbial hand, just a little, as she replied with, “I’m surprised you think so.”

“’Tis not an uncommon thought to have here.” He shrugged again. “But best of luck getting anyone to say it, unless they’re keen on seeing what is at the bottom of Witchdrop for themselves.”

A sympathetic wince pinched Lucia’s expression without conscious thought. “I sympathize.” she said slowly, carefully measuring what would and would not be too much information. “Garlemald, for all its advancements, is far from different, in that regard.”

Certainly not if you asked anyone in the upper echelon of Imperial social circles, but then, most of them hadn’t grown up starving, and orphaned, for the cardinal sin of breathing. Not like she did. None of them had ever been beaten for having the audacity to ask a question.

When he had first brought her here, Lucia had dismissed his notions that he could ever hope to lead Ishgard into a better future. Even now, she was all but certain that the city would devour him long before he saw any meaningful progress. Cities like Ishgard and Garlemald did that, to the revolutionaries that tried to stay and change something.

But in that moment, she understood the position that he had put himself in, being so acutely aware of every flaw in the machine of which he was but a cog. It had been, in truth, the same spot she had lived in, for as long as she could remember being clever enough to see it. It was…nice, to be able to speak on it, even a little, with someone who understood the same feeling, but did not have the same information as her. In that way, talking about it didn’t feel redundant.

“Dost mine ears deceive me, or is the lady reconsidering her stance on our savage land?” Aymeric asked in a flat voice, a hand over his heart, a look of blatantly false shock on his face.

“Reconsidering, aye. But not convinced.” she snorted, before she could think better of it.

Something about the unsurprised nod of his head in response agitated her. That fire that she had only barely managed to bank flickered dangerously as he straightened, and stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Tends to be the way of it, in the beginning. You’re touched, but not moved. It’d be unfair to expect much more than that.” The smile he gave her quieted the roar of blood in her ears into a distant murmur: for all his words, it was clear that he genuinely believed them. “But you are open to listening. And that is reason enough to keep trying.”

Something close to pride made Lucia bristle at that comment. To imply that she was some malleable, easily manipulated loon incapable of forming her own opinions, were she to give it an uncharitable interpretation, would be to insult the very core of her being. Perhaps, had this conversation happened when she were still undercover, she’d have snarled under her breath about it later and thought no further on it.

But it was as Aymeric said: she was listening now. And that initial defensiveness softened.

He had made no secret of his intent to convince her that his was a worthy cause. Were she honest, that was refreshing, in its own way. Perhaps it was because he had been so upfront with her, from almost the start, she had been more willing to listen.

Or perhaps she needed something to fill the hollow in her chest, where the numbness had once taken residence. Something to smother the rising flames in her chest.

Anything to help keep it together, as she searched for escape.

As Lucia stood up and stuffed her hands in her pockets, she reminded herself that whatever she might learn, she would ultimately have to let go, upon her escape. At the thought of it, her hand curled around the beacon in her pocket. She looked down at what they had created, as she stroked her thumb along the smooth metal, pensive.

Better that she remember that their sentiments, and her interest in the inner workings of this world of savages, all needed to be as fleeting and temporary as the self-entwined dragon-snake, etched collaboratively into the dirt that she was now sweeping away with the flat of her boot, before they went back inside.

Next

[nicolecossack]

-Mini Story Part 5: Duel Test- (the following duel is actually a ranked duels i had in duel links)

Early in the morning Livia is woken up by an alarm clock. She groans, not wanting to wake, and soon the alarm stops, someone turned it off.

"Get up already, you ain't doing yourself any favors staying in bed.", Primos booming voice rang in her ears.

"I don't wanna . . .", Livia replied. It took her a moment to remember where she was, but then she sudden she got up. "Oh my god!"

"You have memory loss when you sleep? I don't get you, girl.", Primo said.

Livia got out of bed just before the door opened to her room. Two strangely clothed people stepped in.

"Good Morning, Livia. I hope you slept well. We are here as your instructors.", the woman said.

"Please follows us and we will explain everything to you, after that you will go have breakfast and we will go from there."

Livia nods slowly. The two lead her out of her room through the facility. They enter a Duel Arena. Livia looks around, having a strange feeling she saw this arena before from somewhere, but she is sure he never been in this place before.

"We have scheduled your first 2 weeks. You will be trained as a Duelist here in preparation for your task in the Synchro Dimension. Let us run down the plans what you will be learning.", The man said.

They pull out a holographic screen. It shows Livia the things they wanna teach her at which date, even counts in delays if she isn't good at something and needs more training.

"As you can see, the first 2 or 3 days will be dueling tests, we will put you up against duelists to see how well you preform in standard duels. After that you will be taught the summoning mechanics you may have never seen before while in the Synchro Dimension. There is a bit to learn in that direction and you can then also get cards here for those summoning mechanics for free if you think it suits your Deck. The least dueling related thing you will be taught here are driving a duel runner and turbo dueling. These are only thought to people who are send to the synchro dimension. You know the importance of that i'm sure. If you pass, you will get your own duel runner as well.", the woman explained to her. Livia got actually pretty excited when she heard she'd get to learn turbo dueling, as that was what she wished to do, become an ace Turbo Duelists. She loved watching those duels and how they worked when she was still a child. Her parents never agreed to well with her there though, she never understood why. After that briefing she was guided to a Cafeteria like area, where she saw a lot of people.

"Hey, Livia, nice to see you again.", from a bit away she can see Kevin, he came to her. "How was your nightly stay?"

"Odd, i am not used to it, but i still slept good.", she told him.

"Foods on the house here, sense we are members, even rookies like you. Though, i already suspect you are treated differently here, perhaps Aesir knows you from somewhere. Anyway, i guess you have a long day, pick up a fork.", Kevin goes with her to help her around. For how cold he sounds, he seems to care at least. Livia and Kevin get some food and sit down together.

"Kevin, how long have you been here?", Livia asked while they eat.

"I think a few years actually, i sometimes forget flow of time here.", he replied.

"What do you do here?"

"I work in the XYZ dimension, currently no duty, but i know its coming up soon, when i'll be gone for a long time again. You really only rest here a bit, missions take long, some don't get recalled for months. All to get their goals, we have hardly any power here and just follow orders.", he spoke a bit saddened, Livia can tell he also hates this place.

"How do they keep everyone in line?", she asked curiously.

"A man called Sayer runs a Brain Research Lab here.", *Kevin leans closer and whispers to her," They are brainwashing people who are not obedient here."

("Just as i thought from what i gathered"), Livia heard Primos voice in her head.

"I see . . .", she thought about it.

"Don't worry, i think you will be able to handle that and avoid it. Sayer is pretty picky with the people he actually takes. He is one of the leading figures here together with Aesir and Liz.", Kevin said as he finished eating. Livia also finished right after.

"Thank you, Kevin, i should get going, don't want them to get angry." Kevin nods and lets her go. Livia heads back to the duel area where one more person is now there as well.

"Welcome back, your Opponent also arrived now. I hope you are ready to start. You will be doing three duels, see it as a match only that its three different decks. You have to win two of the three to pass the test today.", the woman said.

Livia nods and gets out her duel disk," I am ready."

The two instructors and two of the three other people then step aside and lets them onto the duel field. They take position and start shuffling their decks before the duel. Ones ready they shout duel.

"I will be going first." Her Opponent declares. "I play the field spell Triamid Fortress.", the area they stand it changes into a dessert area with a strange looking Pyramid behind her Opponent. "Now i summon Triamid Hunter in attack position.", the monster appears, its like a Egyptian deity of some kind. "While i have a face-up Field Spell i can use Hunters effect to normal summon another Rock type monster from my head, and it will be another Triamid Hunter.", a second Hunter appears. "I set two cards face down and end my turn."

("What a weak start, destroy him."), Primos spoke to her.

"Its my turn, draw!", *Livia draws a card, then looks at her hand.

"I will activate my trap card, Powersink Stone.", her opponent suddenly yelled.

"What?!", Livia responded.

"Each time a monster effect is activated, this card gains a Spellstone Counter, ones it has 2 then all effects of monsters on the field are negated.", he explained.

"Mhm. . .!", ("guess i need to fight around that, but his defense is so weak i might be able to push for game turn two if i am smart. . ."), Livia thought. Scanning her options she had, she had some eyes of blue monstes and a blue-eyes white dragon, even a Ancient rules spell card, but also had a Wisel in hand, then she thought of an idea.

"Alright, i summon Maiden with Eyes of Blue in attack position.", then the infinity Symbole on her implant activates and glows red. "Duel skill activate, i play spark breaker!", her duel skill allows her to play it from outside of her deck. "Spark breaker effect activates, i can target and destroy one of my own monsters and i choice Maiden with eyes of blue.," thats when the maidens special effect activates,"when the maiden gets targeted by an card effect i can special summon a blue-eyes white dragon from my deck to the field! Come forth!", The large frame of the white dragon appears, after that the maiden is destroyed by spark breaker, this also puts a counter on the trap card. "Sense my monster was destroyed by a card effect, i can activate Wisels effect to special summon itself! Assemble, Meklord Emperor Wisel.", the pieces of the Emperor combine into one and its large frame threatingly casts a shadow on the battle field. This effect puts a second counter on the trap card.

"Powersink stone has 2 counters now, so all our monsters effects are negated . . .", her opponent said.

"Heh, perfect, because this means you lose now!", her opponent stared in shock, she didn't have enough attack power. "I activate Ancient Rules, it allows me to special summon a normal monster level 5 or higher from hand and i chose my second Blue-Eyes White dragon!", a second dragon appears on the field. "Heh, normally, Meklord Emperor Wisel prevents other monsters from attacking, but sense his effect is negated, i can attack with all of them~", thats when her opponent realized the misplay he made. Livia commands her monsters to attack, her two Blue-Eyes destroy the triamid hunters, then Meklord Emperor Wisel attack directly for game, winning her the game. ("Not bad, cleaver even, i like how you destroy your enemies~"), Primo chuckled enjoying the show it seems. ("Well, with a bit of help at least~"). Livia listened to him. Help? What kind of help was her, but then she things about it, of course, the spark breaker, this is not the duel skill she normally has. ("Don't be confused, your duel skill just evolved to suit the Meklord Emperor. Lets say you have a two in one now. I let you borrow that skill from me."), he explained.

("So you made me know what it is and how to use it to, hu?", she asked.

("With that implant its not hard to temper with your little head i will admit, but you are useless to me if you don't preform well, so i thought i'd help you at least a little bit, little human."), he was talking with such disrespect, it really made her kinda angry he was stuck to her.

"Well done, Livia, perhaps this was to easy for you . . . When we heard you don't have a lot of dueling experience we thought this might be a good match up. Now we know better, your next opponent won't be as easy though.", her instructors said. "However we need to rethink the set up, so you are allowed to have a break. You may explore the area here nearby. We will get you ones we are ready."

Livia is let of to wander about, she heads outside of the duel arena into the corridors. Primos become visible to her.

"So, you never dueled before?", he asked.

"No, not at all, but i never dueled that much, mom and dad said i should focus on other things.", she replied.

"How strange, you are talented, didn't expect you to handle yourself that well, despite how easy that boy was.", he looked away, "I am guessing they will at least give you one synchro deck to fight against, that will be more satisfying to watch. Crushing all the hopes they had with those monsters using Wisel."

"You don't seem to fond of synchro monsters.", Livia looked at him.

"These type of monsters mean nothing but failure and should be punished as such.", the destain for the mosnter type is clear in his voice, he hates them.

"Heh, i guess we won't get along a lot then, i use a few myself.", she takes out her extra deck, which contained Synchro Monsters but also Fusion Monsters. "My ace is a synchro monster even.", she showed him her Blue-Eyes Spirit Dragon. Primo seemed disgusted by the sight.

"Useless, if it were for me i'd burn those cards right away, but i guess you will need them for now, unless you wanna hand those over to me and i will give you a much better deck~", he threatend her a bit.

"No, thanks, this Meklord card is strange enough to be in my deck, plus this deck was a gift from my father, so you ain't getting it!", she was angry at his offer and complete lack of any respect.

"One day you will beg for it, the moment those cards fail you, you will discard them and i will watch in glee as you come crawling to me and plead for my help.", he laughs darkly, then he disappears again.

Livia was angry, such an arrogant bastard he is, it feels like a curse to have him as if the Situation she was in wasn't bad enough for her. She walked down the Corridors trying to get her mind off from him, while trying to prepare for the next duel.

[the-bee-graveyard]

Congrats on 100 followers!!! How about kitty?

Thank you Fae ❤️

I’m sorry this took so long, I’m lazy

Requests are still open, go here for more details

Alright I call this one Windows, it’s inspired by the scene in Riverdale where Kevin and Betty are talking about Archie because it’s the one thing I remember about that show and it fits:

Twin sisters can be a lot of things. They can be best friends, forever companions. They can also be clingy, and nosy, and they can scare the shit out of you when they sneak into your room unannounced and you look up from looking out your window to see her standing next to you smiling like she was about to commit a murder.

“Shit Livvy!” Ty exclaimed, jumping back. His cat, Irene, hissed and leaped off his bed, coming to rub herself up against Livvy.

“What are we looking at?” Livvy asked, punching Ty on the arm playfully. It didn’t hurt but he flinched, and she moved herself to make sure she wasn’t touching him.

“Nothing,” Ty said quickly, trying to think of a way to close the blinds on his window without Livvy noticing. As if she could read his mind Livvy looked out the window and let out a loud gasp.

“Oh my god,” she exclaimed. “Kit got hot.”

Kit Herondale had been their neighbor since the fifth grade when the nice couple next door Tessa and Jem adopted him. He’d been friends with the Blackthorn’s since the sixth. Ty had a huge crush on him since the seventh, Livvy found out about it in the eighth, Kit went to visit family in England at the end of the ninth for the summer, and now they were all back here at the beginning of tenth grade, Kit looking like a whole Greek god.

Ty peeled out the window again. Kit had his window open (he always did) and he sat on his bed shirtless, looking down at his phone. He looked up for a second and Livvy waved. Kit smiles and waved back before looking down at his phone again.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Ty hissed. “Now he’s going to know we were watching him, and he’s going to think we’re creeps, and he’s going to tell everyone we’re creeps, and we’ll forever be known as the creepy stalker twins next door.”

“Can’t be worse than Mark being known as ‘strawberry boy’,” Livvy shrugged, referring to when their older brother went to a restaurant and ordered a plate of strawberries.

“It’s a lot worse than strawberry boy.”

“None of that is going to happen, I was just waving hello. We’ve all waved below a hundred times from this window. You need to calm down.” Ty fought the urge to throw a shoe at his sister. Calm down? How the hell was he supposed to calm down? Why don’t they all just start freaking meditating, because apparently, he was the one who needed to calm down. “He stares at you to you know, which means two things. One, the two of you need to start closing your blinds. Two, he totally likes you back.” Ty blushed.

“No he doesn’t,” Ty said. “Now promise me you won’t get involved.” Livvy stayed silent. “Livia Blackthorn, promise me.”

“Fine, fine,” Livvy sighed. “I promise.” 

“Good,” Ty said cheerily, off to go find his bee plushie before bed, he’d let Tavvy borrow it, and Tavvy had a horrible habit of not returning things to their rightful spot.

*Time jump to the morning*

“Ty, please get the door!” His mother, Eleanor called (Author’s Note: Eleanor’s alive because I said so) Ty opened their from door to reveal Kit standing there, a grin that should look ridiculous plastered on his face, but Ty found it cute.

“How’s my favorite Blackthorn doing?” Kit asked.

“I’m doing great, thanks for asking Christopher,” Ty’s little sister, Dru said as she walked by them. 

“I see you still have an attitude problem,” Kit said.

“How was England?” Dru asked. “Are you as big an asshole to the British as you are to the Americans?”

“Drusilla Blackthorn, we don’t fucking swear in my damn house.” Kit gave a dramatic gasp. Ty was pretty sure he was being sarcastic, Kit was good at that. “Shit! And yes, Christopher Jonathan Herondale doesn't discriminate, he’s an asshole to all.”

“I don’t think you’re an asshole,” Ty frowned, making Kit’s smile widened. He lost the frown, it was hard to frown when Kit smiled like that. Ty cursed his heart slamming in his chest, he swore everyone else could hear it. 

“Is Livvy walking with us?” Kit asked. They’d agreed before Kit left that summer to walk together for the first day of school, and Ty was touched Kit didn’t forget. He certainly hadn’t, he’d been waiting every day since Kit left to see him again.

“Livvy will not be walking to school with you,” Livvy said from the stairs. “Livvy’s getting a ride with Julian and Emma, it’s too hot to walk. Livvy will also stop talking it the third person, it’s fucking annoying.” Bullshit, Ty thought. Livvy’d rather walk through the desert than ride with Julian and Emma, she always complained about their obnoxious amount of PDA. And if Livvy went with Julian and Emma then he’d be stuck all alone with Kit and things would get awkward and Kit would find out about Ty’s crush and he’d hate Ty and Ty would have to flee the country to avoid seeing him every day.

Ty was about to tell his sister to suck it up and grab her backpack when his mother walked into the room. “Kit! Hello!” Eleanor said, waving enthusiastically with one hand, the other hand fiddling with a pipe cleaner. 

“Hi Mrs. Bla- Eleanor,” Kit said. Eleanor insisted no one called her Mrs. Blackthorn, she said it sounded too formal and it made her feel old.

“I just came to tell you to have a good first day Ty,” Eleanor said. She came over a kissed her son on the forehead, slipping his fidget toy in his pocket quickly before heading back to the kitchen. “I love you!” She called.

“Should we get going then?” Kit asked. Ty nodded and wrapped his backpack, putting his hands in his pockets so they wouldn’t flap so much. Kit said it many times before he liked it when Ty flapped his hands, but Ty was just used to hiding it. 

“I thought of you all summer,” Kit said as soon as they walked far from the Blackthorn house. “I missed you so much. You’re so much better than Tessa’s Aunt Harriet.”

“At least you got to go abroad,” Ty sighed. “All I got was listening to Livvy complain about the heat and Dru ranting about the new season of some horror show she watches.”

“Mark and Helen came home though, didn’t he?” Mark went to college in New York with his boyfriend Kieran and girlfriend Cristina, and Helen and her wife Aline both had high paying jobs as lawyers in New York too,

“Yeah, Helen and Aline came for a week and then Mark came for two,” Ty explained. “Helen brought me a keychain for my bag, and she brought me a copy of A Study In Scarlet. Of course, I already own it, but this one was a different edition.” Ty paused. “Am I boring you?”

“Never,” Kit replied. Ty looked at the other boy and saw the other boy staring at him. Kit then whispered something, so quietly Ty almost didn’t here him, “I love you Ty, I love you.” Ty stood still, his body refusing to move. Plenty of people said I love you, but those were just words. And even if Kit did mean them, that didn’t mean he meant them in a romantic way. 

By the time Ty came out of his frozen state Kit had already turned and begun to run in the other direction. Kit was fast, but Ty was faster. He caught up to Kit in no time even though the other boy had a head start and grabbed his wrist. Kit spun around, his eyes filled with tears that hadn’t fell yet.

“Can I-” Ty asked. “Can I kiss you?”

“Of course,” Kit asked. Ty pressed his lips to Kit’s, and the kiss was everything Ty could have imagined. When they finally pulled apart Kit had the same ridiculous grin from earlier on his face.

“We’re going to be late to school,” Ty said.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“Well it’s the truth.”

“Won’t be the first time.” 

“For me it will be.”

“I forgot what a goody two-shoes you are.”

“Fuck you.” Ty took Kit’s hand and smiled as they finished their walk to school.

Maybe twin sisters weren’t so bad.

Ty’s phone buzzed.

Livvy: Get your mans bitch

He took it back, twin sisters were definitely that bad.

[booksandwords]

Instinct by Sherrilyn McQueen

Series: Chronicles of Nick, #6 Read time: 2 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: You were kind to me and I don’t believe in repaying kindness with cruelty. — Xevikan Daraxerxes

God Xev breaks my heart. A whole lot of the support cast in CoN are heartbreaking but there is something else about Xevikan that is just something else. He is pain, PTSD and power. “To give you an inkling, Gautier, I was the only ancient god born who could kill a Chthonian.”, look he is terrifying powerful and I adore him. I love Caleb I do but his inability to listen to Xev's side of the Liliana disaster makes me want to cry, slap him and then say 'what would Liliana say to you now'. Xev is tortured by that moment and we see it, I want to see more of it because there is trauma there that needs to understood. His reaction to Aeron says a lot. Oh and I'm so pleased with how we've met Aeron, I knew of him but not his story. Though there is something truly musing about seeing Xev as an Egyptian Mau nicknamed Mr. Fuzzy Boots., of course, Xev hates the name. Nick and Xev have one of the best relationships in the series. Nick is the only person who sees Xev. I know that was an unusual start, I needed to get it out of my system.

While Illusion helps the readers understand Kody and her parentage and family, Instinct deals as best as it can with Calebs. But Caleb's family is, at best, complicated. And this entire book is essentially done with Caleb absent due to the monster of the week. That monster of the week was someone I had not even thought of. I'm not sure entirely where this fits in. At times it feels like it follows on almost immediately from Illusion, at times it feels like some time has passed. But there is one line I found interesting "He’d only known it existed for less than two years." between Infinity and the end of Instinct is less than two years, and there is a year-long gap in there somewhere. There is a lot to digest coming out of this. All the characters in play, the changes in the world in dynamic and the new pieces of lore to deal with. The plot boils down to Nick working with his allies to save Cherise and Caleb and deciding whom he can trust. CoN books seem to have simplistic plots but the plot is not the point of them, they are character and lore driven. And the plot does well to display the characters in different lights. It gives some idea of where this might be going and Ambrose's shocking appearance was not a good sign. I really enjoyed this it moves at a good pace and doesn't try to do anything too smart. But I really wish there were family trees for some of these characters somewhere. That conversation between Xev and Mennie gets complicated fast even knowing the players. That said the ignorance is in line with Nick's knowledge base so it does fit.

All right have a dump of notes because otherwise, this review becomes obscenely long.

The six generals of the ušumgallu. Grim, Bane and Laguerre who live permanently earthside. The others who had to be called, Xevikan, Livia and Yrre.

The six primal gods. Those of the light; Razer, Cam and Verlyn. Those of the dark; Noir, Azure and Braith. Braith is complicated, while she aligns to the dark she is more grey. Two of the primary gods are missing; Razer and Braith. Verlyn was captured.

It wasn’t easy being Death. Made it hard to make friends. Harder still to keep them. No one was ever really happy to see you. Being around anyone tended to make them nervous and jumpy. Really sucked most days." — Being is Grim's head is something different. That is where we spend the prologue.

Braith got screwed by her siblings. I don't blame her from hiding from them for such a long time.

Zeitjägers. That's Germanic and German is a constructive language. Zeit is time. Jäger is hunter. Zeitjägers are entirely Sherri's creation as far as I can tell. But German is an interesting choice linguistically.

“Believe it or not, he can be quite charming when he’s not psychotic. And Hekate has always had a thing for bad boys.” — This about Noir. This is right after we meet Dagon, their son.

“That was you what done that with Zeus and them Arcadians and gots into all that trouble? Ooo, I remember that. That was so bad for you, but so nice for you to do! You the Simi’s hero.” — mine too Simi queen, mine too. Long story short Dagon helped Lycaon create the Were-hunters. I didn't know we knew him. And with his parentage, I'm not surprised he's willing to rebel.

Oh Noir, how did you get that body?  And can please gtfo so we can have it back?

I knew Aeron was going to be important but I didn't understand why.

“But be warned with that lineup, Malachai, you have chosen one of the most powerful groups ever assembled. Together, they could wield enough power to one day kill you.” — Damn Nick that is a smart play. It's an insurance policy. Also good choices, they are all super intelligent in their own fields too.

As an aside. I can't remember another character like Liliana. A character with a shattering impact who is never met. She feels like more than Caleb's wife at times, she feels like an anchor for him. As Nick points out other characters in Sherri's verses have this but we spend substantial time with them in flashbacks. That is not the case with Liliana.

Am I the only one reading this series that feels like there is a book missing? When did Nick find out about Mennie/Ma'at, Nashira, his brother, Monakribos (well his name), in some ways even the names of the 6 source? These aren't just important to Nick, they are important to US. While I do read the Dark-Hunter novels as well and am aware of some of the surrounding lore the primary intended audience of the CoN series would not be. The DH novels are aimed at adults and contain content as such, the CoN novels are aimed at those in their teens.

I want to add this too... this is what an Egyptian Mau looks like.

And when you know Xev has an attitude (for a reason) this is perfect.

[best-enemies]

I have to write an actual review on Gallifrey TW4 for the podcast I’m in but I have a writer’s block, so here are some of my thoughts on the box because I need to yell about it somewhere and my friends are pissed that I keep yelling on twitter. Spoilers ahead!

Don’t expect anything coherent to come out of this post I’m just going to throw stuff in this post and if you get it you get it lol. It’s not like I have fully recovered from the blow anyway... 

Deception is a great introdution to the box and probably one of the best Gallifrey audios. I hate it when the OT4 gets separated (and that it happens all the time!), and in this case it happens between Narvin and Leela. However, it’s always great to see Leela working on her own and interacting with other people. When she tried to save those people from the resistance, the way she dealt with the situation even when she felt lost because she couldn’t trust her senses - a tool Leela values a lot as a warrior and a hunter - was absolutely incredible and it reminded me (not that I could ever forget that) of how much I love and admire her. 

Listening to them being inside the distortion field felt like a really bad trip 

All I could think throughout the box and not just Deception is that Leela had a crush on Eris and man I can’t blame her at all not only he was a great guy he’s really good looking and I got a crush on him too akshdashdkjaks

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really like Livia. She’s not evil, she just makes a lot of bad choices and she has this problem of being too much on the fence, which is not the characteristic of a true leader. She was never one. But still, even if I don’t remember the content of the earlier audios she’s in I’ve always liked her. And I liked that she finally chose a side in the end. I mean, she did when she helped the resistance, and that was a good beginning.

 Also can I interest you with my headcanon that she was Romana’s girlfriend at the Academy and they broke up? Lol Anyways, when she heard that Romana had “died” she was shocked and later on complimented her as a person and I kind of wish we saw more of them on good terms

Now, on Dissolution: I love Narvin. That’s pretty much it lol. Before starting Gallifrey my friend gave me a spoiler which was basically, “you’re gonna love Narvin”. Well, at first I really liked his voice - it was funny and cute and voices are an important thing to me. Of course, even if he seemed funny to me, unfortunately he was a total xenophobic asshole. He had convictions, he had layers which made him very interesting, but still, an asshole. Which makes me really proud to see how far he has come, how much he’s grown. When he joined Romana’s side I soon realized that my friend was right; Narvin had one of the best redemption arcs I’ve ever seen. He went from Romana’s political rival, if I could put it that way, to one of her most trusted allies and best friends. And he found out that he could still fight for and protect his home, but using the right tools, doing it the right way. Dissolution showed that contrast between the old Narvin and what he wanted and the new Narvin, and honestly? I could almost call this episode a moment of relief amongst the chaos. Narvin has become one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse and one of my all time favorites as well.

Alright... now we get to Beyond *deep breaths*. So let’s start from the beginning, shall we? I spent months since listening to Unity living in a total hell not knowing if Romana was alive or not. I couldn’t believe that that was her ending, that she wouldn’t show up again for their last hurrah, and that my favorite companion ever was gone forever. But then, BF announced the cover, and the description for the episodes, and her name came up, and I could finally breath. My friend and I started theorizing that maybe Braxiatel had dematerialized the TARDIS around her and saved her in the last second - which is kind of what happened, I mean, the description said he wasn’t ready to give up on her! So they go to that place called Beyond, and shit happens. Those ravenous bitches were there eating people and shit. They even ate Narvin - I almost started crying in the middle of the bus, telling myself he wasn’t our Narvin, but he was a Narvin and it still hurt. I wanted to fight those ravenous myself. And not just that, Romana went through hell watching Leela die in front of her, and her reaction was really heartbreaking. 

Aaand that kind of brings me to a point here, something that bothered me. Romana and Brax, as always, spent the audio bickering a little, but they had their moments as well. Like when Brax says that it’s good to see her smile again, when he says (sorry I don’t remember it word by word) something like, she couldn’t die and that she’s supposed to be the best of the Time Lords, when she calls him her friend, and when she asks with a soft voice if he’s coming back to Gallifrey. And it was sweet. Like, they have a lot of issues, but they also have good feelings towards each other. Despite everything they care about each other, and it shows. Which is why I got really confused about Romana’s reaction when Brax was eaten by the ravenous. I remember I even thought she wasn’t around when it happened, that he had left and was somewhere else (I have a little difficulty paying attention), but then my friend said she was. So I was like... wait, she saw her friend, whom she’s known for most of her life (and more than she can even remember) die in a truly horrible way and didn’t even react to that? I’m not blaming Romana, I think this is really out of character for her. She may have difficulty expressing her feelings but she would never, ever react so coldly to the death of a friend. 

Now, on Brax’s death... I was really devastated. At first, as always I got confused and thought the older Brax was an older version of him, somehow. Even if he died, I was like, this is confusing, but it’s Brax? So I was weary, but still, I thought “well at least he’s safe now, on another universe in the Beyond”. But then my friend said “no, that’s an alternative Brax, the one we know is dead”. And that’s when I felt my stomach drop. IT HURT SO BAD. I’ll be honest and say I don’t know everything about Brax, or about the depth of his character, I’m still very early on the Benny audios and only have listened to him on Gally and a few audios here and there. People who have more knowledge on him say that the way he was written wasn’t really accurate, and that can be true, but I won’t get into that because I don’t know for myself. Still, Brax is one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever known. I loved him from the beginning. I got mad at him so many times during the series, felt as betrayed as Romana did, heard about a lot of dark shit he’s done, but still I could never hate him. I got a little bit too attached to him, which is why his death felt absurd and unnecessarily cruel. I don’t think for a moment that Brax deserved that, as I said I don’t know everything about him but something in my heart tells me that things could’ve gone another way. I knew he could die in the finale but not like this. And it’s a bit hard to put into words how much I hate the ending he got and how much I’ll miss him. I just hope he comes back, I mean, he always does, BF writers need to figure something out I don’t even care lol

I had to edit the post because my dumb ass forgot about one of my favorite and at the same time one of the most bittersweet moments of Beyond: Brax asking about the Doctor and saying leaving Gallifrey was a “family thing”. I love them and there isn’t enough stuff out there from the Lungbarrow siblings for me. He talks so fondly of the Doctor and now all I think about is that he never mentioned him in the series but thought of him on the last hours of his life... brb I’m gonna go cry in the bathroom

Oh god. Okay, Homecoming. I’ll start on a light note and say some stuff about Hot Rassilon: Richard Armitage nailed it. I’ve always liked him as an actor and I got thrilled when he was announced. His voice is like, the one I want to hear when I get my name called up in Heaven - or Hell, which is where I’m going - and his speeches were really powerful. Still, I wish they could’ve given him more to do. Of course, I understand that this is where they wanted to go with him - Hot Rassilon going batshit crazy and calling himself a god and coming up with some stupid fanfiction about the Time Lords becoming gods of everything, yada yada. I loved his interactions with the Dalek Emperor, the first thing I thought (besides the fact that it was really funny) was that it showed two despots with a god complex playing chess with the universe and discarding their people as garbage, fighting for their own personal power and not for the collective. Of course, I don’t expect the Daleks to care about each other - they want to spread throughout the galaxies and gain absolute power, not bring social well-being to their own. But that should apply to the Time Lord Society, and we see that Hot Rassilon doens’t give a flying fuck about that. 

I feel like I should reinforce the fact that I actually hate Rassilon. I call him hot but I hate him. I can do both

Once again, I need to point out the emotional moments between the galligang. It all felt so off. As someone pointed out here (sorry, I saw the post but don’t recall who said it now): it’s a war and there’s little time for grief, however, it’s not like they’re just grieving the loss of a group of people they’re not familiar with. The galligang are the closest thing they have to a family with each other. They’ve been through all sorts of things together, created a deep bond and have crossed the universe to find each other. And then, that Dalek ship blows up, with Narvin still in it, and... nothing. Leela even asked Romana if they could’ve done something and she says if the bracelet thingy had been working he would’ve come back already. And that’s it. At first I didn’t even understand, I was like “wait, he was really still inside the ship? And it blew up?”, because once again, I couldn’t tell from the way they reacted, I was only sure when they had that exchange. And of course, I started sobbing, because my favorite character was dead. I guess the writers wanted to focus on the war and political aspects and shit but did they forget that Gallifrey was about these three specific people and that their relationship was the core of the series, not just the politics? 

Okay, moving on. Leela and Romana once again end up on Gallifrey and run into Hot Rassilon. Did I mention I found him a bit scary? Well, I did mark me down as scared & horny.

Aaaaaand he decides to lock Romana up in a pocket universe. It surprised me, because I thought he would execute her. I find that he wanted to do that because Romana was the president who wanted to take Gallifrey into the future, to make it a prosperous and advanced society who left all their fears of the unknown and prejudices behind. And now he locked her up in the past. Get it? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me, but this was the first thing I thought. But I cannot even begin to tell you all how RELIEVED I am that she’s alive, and that there could be a possibility - even if a very tiny one - that she could escape. It’s Doctor Who, so everything is possible. EDIT: Now I’m sad because Leela will die after the end of the Time War and Romana will know about that, and all her friends are gone, and she believes the Doctor isn’t the man she once knew so she can’t rely on him, and she’s alone, and I’m FUMING because I’m still processing the whole thing and I hadn’t realized that. She’s totally alone and now I’m crying once again. I HATE IT HERE

As for Leela, I want to see what’s next for her. I haven’t gotten into the other Time War stuff yet, this is my first introduction to the actual thing, but I heard that she’s gonna fight alongside the War Doctor and might be on the War Doctor Begins boxset. But man listening to her and Romana having to depart like that broke my heart. And now I know that she’ll be protecting Gallifrey because of Romana, because Romana represents the best in Gallifrey.

*Phew* okay, that was a lot. I don’t even know if I covered everything, but I managed to make more sense than I thought I would at the beginning of this post. I don’t know man I’ve been crying for hours, went to sleep at 2am crying because of Narvin and Brax and woke up at 7am and my first thought was them, dying again... I don’t even know anymore, I guess I’ll either focus on uni and my job or curl up into a ball and cry for the rest of my life lolololol

Now I want to write a post with my theories on how the entire galligang is alive and in the epilogue in my head they have reunited and are all living together happily. Maybe it’ll be my next post.

[jolivia-things]

"Can’t believe you scrolled to my very first post, but fair play because you must have scrolled past a hell of a lot.I didn’t have anon messaging on at first, so I guess the first post was from someone with an actual name…if that’s what you mean?" There is a thing called archive on your blog. Go there, go to the month of march ( which is when you created this shit blog) and you will see your first post. Took like 10 seconds. And no, it was clearly a anon messaging. You just lie and lie.

Oh my god what's your point?

You said my first post was a message, now saying it's an anon?

Here is my personal timeline:

1. I listened to Fine Line, downloaded it from YouTube music - thought hmm this is a good album

2. I watched Ted Lasso, loved it, realised I'd been underestimating Jason

3. The photos of Harry/Olivia came out (my spidey senses start tingling) - remembered seeing those pictures of Jason and Olivia looking close

4. Got more curious about Jason, searched his tag on Tumblr and found Harry blogs discussing him and Olivia (and H*livia) in the tag

5. I was curious for two reasons, number one Jason had been calling Olivia his partner in interviews and I felt like the only one on earth noticing until I found others, number two people were already getting skeptical about them

6. I periodically checked a couple of blogs, found others curious about Olivia and Jason, found the blog mods were getting annoyed about it (which I get as I get a bit annoyed at pure Harry messages)

7. Made my own blog and sent it to dontworryaboutharry, it got posted around and now I have a group of people talking about it from the same angle as me

I'm not forcing you to read my Tumblr. If it upsets you just leave, or start your own like I did. I'll post the link for you if you like.

I'm confused as to what agenda you think I have?

[hopesilverheart]

Constellations of Faerie Lights

(read on ao3)

Pairing: Helen/Lydia Rated: Gen Summary: Helen laughed. “Have you ever heard of Faerie Lights? They're actually carefully crafted by various seelies and unseelies during the year, using what little natural magic and talent we have to create garlands made up of strands of moonlight and rays of sunshine. It’s actually one of the only things I can do as a half-faerie.”

“Must be because of how bright you are,” Lydia blurted out before she could think over her words. “I mean, it just- If you’d asked me what piece of nature you held within your heart, I would have guessed Light without a second thought. Oh my god, I’m just going to shut up and let you continue your story now.”

Or: Lydia has never seen anything quite as beautiful as faerie lights (or as the faerie who made them).

For the @malecdiscordserver Advent Calendar

For as long as she could remember, Lydia had loved learning about the world.

As a child, she’d dreamed of being an explorer who got to travel wherever she wanted to, visiting the most beautiful and forgotten of places. When her parents had tried to get her to learn how to fight, she’d snuck out of the manor’s library to wander around Idris – which had earned her more punishments than she could count.

Being a shadowhunter had never been her plan. It had been her duty, and it had been what was expected of her, but it had never been her dream. She still remembered hearing the other children talking about how great fighting was and thinking ‘why on earth would you want to hunt demons when you could discover the mysteries of the world?’

Becoming a Clave representative had been her way of trying to get away from the field and maybe get sent on missions all over the world.

Of course, no one had bothered to tell her that representatives spent most of their lives stuck in Idris, dealing with paperwork and following every order they were given without batting an eyelash. So much for travelling.

Needless to say, she’d been disappointed. She’d spent the first few years of her career wondering if she would have been better off marrying into another family and gaining leadership of an Institute. At least that way she would get to move freely and decide what she wanted to do with her life.

(As much as a shadowhunter could, at least.)

In the end, it took her two years to get sent on a visit to the Madrid Institute, and another year after that to get thrown into the madness of the New York Institute. The first trip had been educational and entertaining. The second? Not so much. In fact, it had almost been enough to get Lydia demoted – or to get her to quit, if she was being honest with herself.

Fortunately for her, things took a turn for the better once she hit her fifth year as a representative. She wasn’t sure what she’d done to deserve the sudden burst of confidence coming from the higher-ups, but she certainly wasn’t about to complain. In the span of three months, she’d been sent to deal with Downworld relation issues in Melbourne, to evaluate a couple for headship of the Saint-Petersburg Institute, and to resolve internal difficulties in Alexandria.

Finally, finally, her choices had paid off. After years of dealing with bureaucratic bullshit and being treated like she didn’t matter, she was being sent around the world to places she’d hoped to see for over a decade.

This new development in her career was how she found herself in Los Angeles just as November turned into December. The Institute had been going through some trouble as the Blackthorn family and the Lightwood patriarch fought for dominance, causing more problems with the Downworld than was usual for the very progressive city.

Lydia had been a little worried about her arrival, since her history with the Lightwood parents wasn’t exactly positive, but the Blackthorns had completely obscured Robert’s presence and had honestly turned Lydia’s trip to LA into the best one of her life.

There was just something about the set of siblings that made her heart melt and her mind feel lighter than it had in months.

“Lydia, you’re already up!”

Alright, so perhaps there was one sibling in particular who had caught Lydia’s eye, she thought as she turned around and came face to face with Helen Blackthorn, by far the prettiest woman Lydia had ever met.

“Good morning, Helen,” she said softly, hoping she didn’t sound half as flustered as she thought she did. “I thought I would get breakfast started for everyone, since you always seem to be the one left to shoulder that burden.”

“Oh, it’s hardly a burden,” Helen chuckled, sidling up to Lydia and stealing her breath away with another one of her blinding smiles. “It makes my siblings happy and keeping them happy is the only way I can make it through the day without going insane. Although I’ll never complain about someone doing my job for me. So, what are we having?”

“Nothing special,” Lydia shrugged. “Just some pancakes. Dru mentioned you all had family plans for the day, so I figured it would be good for the kids to have something that would fill them up with energy.”

“She told you about that?” Helen asked, sounding both surprised and slightly hesitant.

“I’m sorry,” Lydia winced. “Was she not supposed to? I didn’t think it was a secret since Livia also added her own two cents on the matter, but I can always pretend I didn’t hear anything if that would make you feel more comfortable.”

“It’s just not- It’s not exactly something I’d want getting back to the Clave,” Helen admitted quietly, glancing at Lydia as though she was about to run straight to the Clave and tell them the Blackthorns were hiding nefarious secrets. “We’re not doing anything illegal, I promise, but as tolerant as the Clave has prove to be in the last year or so, I don’t exactly…”

“Trust it?” Lydia completed for her, laughing lightly as Helen’s eyes filled with guilt. “Please don’t feel the need to lie about your feelings for the Clave just because I’m here. I may be a representative, but my only obligations to the institution as a whole is to follow my mission orders. I’m here to deal with the Blackthorn-Lightwood conflict, that’s all. Nothing else will get back to the Inquisitor.”

For a second, Helen didn’t say anything, only tilting her head to the side curiously, her fair hair falling to the side and revealing her pointy ears. Lydia tried her best not to stare at them, but they truly made Helen seem magical.

One thing the past two years had taught Lydia was that shadowhunters, for all their talks of righteousness and duty, weren’t half as amazing as they made themselves out to be. Faeries, on the other hand, never pretended to be something they weren’t. They were truthful and sometimes too cunning for their own good, but at least they didn’t lie about who they were.

It was a trait Helen had clearly gotten from her Seelie ancestors. She’d been honest with Lydia from the get-go, refusing to avoid the point of Lydia’s visit the same way Robert had and bluntly stating all the problems they’d had to handle ever since the Lightwood patriarch had arrived. It was something Lydia appreciated in a person, especially in one as stunning, bright, and kind as Helen.

So maybe she was a little smitten with the other woman; it wasn’t like anyone was going to notice.

“I believe you,” Helen finally answered. “I’m not sure why, but you don’t seem like the kind of person who would lie to expose a respectable family’s secrets. Although if you dig anything up on Lightwood, please don’t hesitate to send him packing. As much as I respect Alec and Isabelle, something about their father rubs me the wrong way.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lydia snorted, biting at her bottom lip as her curiosity battled with her manners. At the end of the day, though, Lydia was far more curious than she was polite. “What is your family tradition, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Ah, it’s just something I got from my family in Seelie,” Helen shrugged sheepishly. “My parents never had the time to teach us about Blackthorn traditions, so I figured it wouldn’t hurt to give my siblings something to look forward to in place of an Advent Calendar or a Christmas tree. Something a little more… magical?”

Before Lydia could ask what the other woman meant by that, the tell-tale sound of running footsteps caught her attention and had her twisting around towards the kitchen door.

Less than three seconds later, the entire gaggle of Blackthorn children barrelled into the room, eager smiles on their faces and far too much energy in their bodies for kids who couldn’t have been up for longer than fifteen minutes.

“It’s Today!” Tavvy exclaimed happily, throwing his little hands in the air from his place in Julian’s arms.

“Yes, Tavvy, it’s today,” Helen chuckled, fluffing the young boy’s hair lightly as Julian set him down into his chair. “I see you’re all very excited. I don’t think I’ve seen you up this early since the same day last year, Liv!”

“Very funny,” Livia rolled her eyes, her eyes lighting up at the sight of Lydia’s pancakes. “Oh god, can we keep you? Helen never makes pancakes. And we’re far more fun than the Clave, as I’m sure you’ve noticed by now.”

“You do realise she has a job in Idris, right?” Emma – the only non-Blackthorn of the bunch – said sarcastically, flicking the back of Livia’s head playfully and agilely dodging the younger girl’s elbow as it flew back to nudge her in the ribs. “But I agree that I could get used to pancakes for breakfast. Perhaps Miss Branwell could teach Helen how to cook properly.”

“Lydia, please.”

“I’m sure Lydia has enough on her plate already,” Helen shook her head amusedly, chuckling as she caught sight of the plate in Lydia’s hands. “No pun intended.”

“Oh god, have the puns already started?” Ty – Livia’s twin – groaned, burying his head in his hands.

“The puns never end, brother dear,” Helen grinned widely, pulling out a seat for Lydia before sitting right next to her. Lydia tried her very best not to blush but, if the look on Emma and Julian’s faces was anything to go by, she wasn’t quite as subtle as she wanted to be. “Now please devour your pancakes like the uncivilised shadowhunters you are so we can get outside before the sun comes up.”

Lydia was about to ask why they needed to be out before sunrise, but the sudden inhalation of food by the younger Blackthorns stopped her in her tracks. She wasn’t sure whether she was impressed or horrified by their speed; perhaps a little bit of both.

“Is Miss Branwell going to put the lights up with us?” Dru asked once the pancakes had been consumed and the other children had rushed away – presumably to get their shoes and jackets or whatever else they might need for this mysterious tradition.

“If she wants to,” Helen answered quietly, sending Lydia a look that was far too hopeful for her to ignore. “You don’t have t-”

“I would love to join you,” Lydia smiled. “I have to speak to Robert this afternoon, but as long as this only takes up our morning, I should be fine.”

“Oh, you can leave whenever you want to,” Helen assured her. “The main event will be over in less than a minute, but I like to let the kids have their fun for as long as they want to be there. It keeps them busy and gives me less to worry about, so I usually just sit back and enjoy the show.”

“You’ve got me more intrigued by the second,” Lydia admitted, standing up to follow Helen as the woman gestured for her to come along. “What was Dru saying about lights?”

“Right, we got interrupted before I could explain,” Helen laughed. “Have you ever heard of Faerie Lights? Stupid question, of course you have. Anyways, the common agreement in mundane society seems to be that once upon a time, the lights were made of actual fairies. Little do they know, the lights are actually carefully crafted by various seelies and unseelies during the year, using what little natural magic and talent we have to create garlands made up of strands of moonlight and rays of sunshine. I know it sounds very theoretical and a little silly but… I promise it works. It’s actually one of the only things I can do as a half-faerie.”

“Must be because of how bright you are,” Lydia blurted out before she could think over her words. “I mean, it just- If you’d asked me what piece of nature you held within your heart, I would have guessed Light without a second thought. Oh my god, I’m just going to shut up and let you continue your story now.”

“You’re fine,” Helen smiled, rendering Lydia speechless as she gently laced their fingers together and squeezed Lydia’s hand reassuringly. By some stroke of luck, she didn’t pull away even as the rest of the siblings joined them in the Institute’s front hall. “Alright everyone, time to get the show started!”

As one, their little group stepped out of the Institute only to be greeted by the harsh cold air of an early winter morning. LA might not have been as cold as Idris, but mornings had proved to be cruel in terms of temperature. Lydia had been fooled on her first day there, and she couldn’t help but regret not bringing anything other than lighter clothes on her trip.

Not that she thought about the cold for too long; not with Helen’s hand in hers and the rest of the Blackthorns bounding forward a few steps before coming to a halt and turning towards the Institute with wide eyes.

Lydia was about to ask what was going on but before the question could leave her lips, Helen was turning her around and giggling wildly as Lydia’s jaw dropped.

The lights weren’t on yet – she wasn’t sure how that worked exactly, since Helen had made it seem like she’d put pure moonlight into the garlands, but she was far too stunned to wonder about technicalities – however, the Institute was already the prettiest thing Lydia had ever seen.

The garlands seemed to be made of both gold and silver strands, the colours visible even from afar thanks to the first few rays of sunshine peeking through the horizon. The strands themselves were covered in tiny buds of a flower Lydia couldn’t identify but could definitely appreciate. And the lights, or at least their containers, were made of what seemed to be delicate, glittery glass.

Honestly, Lydia wasn’t sure what was going on, but she wasn’t complaining in the slightest.

She was only startled out of her daze by Helen letting go of her hand with an apologetic smile. Lydia’s fingers suddenly felt more cold than they had in days, and she wondered if there was even a chance that she could get Helen back where she’d been seconds earlier once she was done doing… whatever she was doing with the lights.

“Are you ready?” Helen called over once she’d reached the Institute’s front door again – a door from which appeared to hang the very first garland.

As soon as the Blackthorn children answered with a chorus of ‘yes’s, Helen brought her hand up to the garland, closed her eyes tightly, pressed her fingers against one of the glass containers, and-

Lydia’s mind went blank.

She had no idea how long she stood there, staring at the faerie lights as they turned on one by one, but she figured it was far longer than most people would. She didn’t care, though, because she wasn’t sure she had ever seen anything as entrancing as the lights show happening in front of her.

By the time she came back to herself, all the lights were on and the children were gone, leaving Lydia alone with Helen. Helen, who had laced their fingers back together again.

Between the lights and Helen’s warm hand in hers, Lydia wasn’t sure she was going to make it through that morning in one piece. Her heart felt fuller than it ever had, and she could feel tears of awe stinging at her eyes.

She honestly wasn’t even sure how to describe what she was feeling at that moment. She wanted to tell Helen that the little bit of magic she had was the most beautiful thing Lydia had ever seen. She wanted to tell her that she’d never felt more content than she did right then, staring at an Institute she barely knew and holding hands with a woman she probably shouldn’t have liked so much. She wanted to burst into tears and grin like a loon and just sit there all day, staring at the constellation of bright stars adorning the Institute’s façade.

“Those are- Those are the most stunning Christmas lights I’ve ever laid eyes upon,” Lydia finally breathed out, frowning at how insufficient her words sounded. “No, that’s not right. That’s the most stunning thing I’ve seen ever, full stop. I just- How did you do that?”

“Not sure,” Helen shrugged, her cheeks redder than Lydia had ever seen them. “It’s really nothing much; just something to make my siblings smile.”

“Well you’ve achieved that and more,” Lydia nudged her gently. “There aren’t many things in this world that can make me speechless. Speaking of the kids though, where are they?”

“I leave coloured faerie lights hidden all around the Institute for them to find,” Helen smiled fondly. “Whoever can find the most gets exempted from shadowhunter duties for the entire month.”

“Oh wow, pretty high stakes,” Lydia whistled, impressed. “How many are there?”

“About a hundred,” Helen admitted with a smirk. “But they never find all of them, and most of them will be back within the next hour or so. They already know who’s going to win.”

“They do?” Lydia asked, more than happy to sit there and listen to Helen talk about her siblings lovingly while Lydia admired the lights.

“Emma wins ever year,” Helen explained. “That girl is far too competitive for her own good, and Tavvy always gives her the ones he finds since he’s too little to have duties.”

“Devious,” Lydia laughed loudly. “And what do you usually do?���

“Paperwork, patrolling, whatever needs to get done, really,” Helen answered with a sigh. “There’s always too little time to do everything, and not having my siblings around means I’m far more productive. However, I suppose- Well, I could be convinced to do something else, for once, even if it’s just staring at these lights for a few hours with a pretty girl next to me.”

“I- Really?” Lydia whispered, looking between the lights and Helen disbelievingly. She wasn’t sure what she’d done to deserve the attention of the most beautiful girl in the world, but she wasn’t about to complain. “I would love that.”

“Good,” Helen murmured, squeezing her fingers again. “Because there’s nothing I’d rather be doing right now.”

If Lydia had thought the lights had stolen her breath away, it was nothing compared to what she felt at the sound of those words. Her heart skipped a beat, her stomach fluttered, and she knew her cheeks were probably brighter than ever.

Lydia hadn’t thought she would ever understand wanting to stay in one place for the rest of her life but, staring at Helen and feeling the other woman’s warmth as they sat on the grass and glanced up at the myriads of faerie lights, she thought she might finally get where everyone was coming from.

There was nothing she wanted more than for the world to stop right then, with Helen’s hand in hers and a sea of stars gleaming before her very eyes.

[sapphossidechick]

i was rereading this chapter and i realized that in the last one i said the llama was fifteen feet tall and ten feet wide, but in this chapter i said that cockpit was in the llama’s head and there are multiple rooms in there, so apparently my sixth grade self either didn’t know what fifteen feet was, didn’t know what consistency was, or just didn’t care about either. so sorry about that

Chapter 7: We fly to find a daughter of Apollo in a llama named Jeffrey

When I woke up, we were flying, and I was lying in a sleeping bag. Phoenix was in the cockpit, which turned out to be the llama’s head. The room I was in must have been a sleeping area/everything else area. Two more sleeping bags were spread out on the floor around me. There was a desk and three chairs shoved up next to a window. A map of California was thrown onto the table with pins in it. Livia stood next to the desk looking out the window. She was wearing a Bambi t-shirt and jean shorts with Mickey Mouse patches on them. Oh, yeah. And the room was pink. I sat up and looked at my clothes. I was wearing Goofy pajamas. The intercom crackled, and Phoenix’s voice ran through the llama.

“Morning, sleepy head. We got you some new clothes.”

Livia didn’t even turn around, but she gestured listlessly towards my backpack in the corner of the room.

“If you want to change,” Phoenix said. “The bathrooms are in the legs.”

I grabbed my backpack and headed over to where any legs would be. A circular trapdoor led downwards. I opened it and crawled inside. The bathroom was well lit, and a latter led upwards. I still couldn’t believe Phoenix had made this thing in ten minutes. I opened my backpack, which now had a Dumbo pin on it, (thanks girls) and groaned. Inside was a t-shirt with Peter Pan on it.

“Are you kidding me?” I yelled.

Above me I could hear the two girls laughing.

“This is NOT FUNNY!”

Even though I was mad, I was grateful I had a clean shirt. I snatched it up and threw it on. I also grabbed out a pair of jeans. Once I was changed, I climbed back up to the main room.

“Jason,” Livia told me. “Welcome aboard Jeffrey the flying llama.”

My first reaction was, “You named a llama Jeffrey?”

Stupid, I know, but who names a flying llama Jeffrey (sorry all Jeffreys in this world)? Livia cracked up.

“Yeah, Phoenix’s idea.” Phoenix waved at me from the front.

“Morning, Jason!” she called sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes.

“How long was I out?” I asked.

Livia shrugged.

“Phoenix had a timer going.”

Phoenix checked a clock in the cockpit.

“That was about twenty hours, man. I was starting to worry.”

I laughed. Phoenix never worried about anyone, and she knew I had been out longer than that before. She pushed a gigantic button and a table full of food came out of hidden door in the wall. Chairs popped up around it.

“Bon appetit!” she called.

I pulled up a chair and dug in. The bacon tasted amazing. The pancakes were also delicious. Either that, or I was so hungry that I didn’t care. Livia made her way to the cockpit, no doubt to watch for the flowers.

“They're gone!” she exclaimed. “Normally they’re here until dark. Something must’ve happened to Reyna!”

I stood up so fast I knocked my plate off the table. It fell to the floor with a crash. “Do we know anyone who might know what happened to her?” I asked.

They both shook their heads. I was scared for Reyna. Why, oh, why did Octavian have to mess up everything? We were perfectly fine without him. “Where are we gonna go now?” I asked.

Livia shook her head. “Back to camp, I guess.”

When we got back, people clapped us on the back and applauded us because we’d survived. I know I was downright miserable. Jayni ran to greet us.

“I’m so sorry you didn’t find her, guys,” she told us. “But, ah, Jason, we need to talk.”

She led me to the Senate House. It was completely empty. We sat down. “Octavian,” she began. “Has made himself augury.”

If you don’t know what that is, it’s kind of like a person who tells the future. If Octavian had made himself augury, then we would have to rely on him to translate the gods’ messages. That would not be good.

“How ‘bout we pay him a visit,” I told her.

As we walked to find Octavian, I had the same feeling I was being watched as the day Reyna disappeared. If that happened every time something bad was about to happen, something was about to go horribly wrong.

“There he is.” Jayni pointed ahead of us.

Octavian was standing before a statue of Jupiter, murdering a teddy bear. From his belt, he pulled out a knife and cut off the teddy bear’s head. Then he spread out the stuffing.

“Octavian!” I called. “Don’t you have anything better to do than kill teddy bears? I mean, if you’re so important, shouldn’t someone do that for you?”

He eyed me suspiciously, but I was on a roll.

“And if you’re so special, did a god recommend you to be augury?”

“No,” he said. “But—”

“Then why are you augury?”

“Because, well—”

“Go ahead and check that in your teddy bear stuffing.”

He scowled at me. “I was voted into this position, Grace.”

Jayni scoffed. “Really, Octavian? I don’t recall being invited to vote in that senate meeting, nor do I recall anyone else doing that. If there was a meeting, I wouldn’t have voted for you anyway. There are people more worthy than you, you know.”

I made a mental note to fist bump Jayni later. Octavian paled. I think it’s understandable to do so when the two figures of authority are on your case. But that didn’t stop me from smirking. Honestly, it’s a bit hard to stop me from doing anything if it’s a normal reaction, or it’s something extremely stupid that I just have to do. That being said, breaking rules doesn’t come naturally to me, just like being polite doesn’t come naturally to Octavian. I walked up to the annoying brat, and put my hand on his shoulder. He flinched.

“Octavian, buddy,” I said. “You have a good day, but remember to not mess with my friends, or you’ll be seeing the end of your “career” as augury.”

I then walked out of the room. I could feel Octavian’s eyes on me as I left. Jayni ran to catch up to me.

“That,” she said. “Was totally awesome.”

I gave her her deserved fist bump. Then we went to go find Phoenix and Livia. We found them sitting by the Little Tiber. It streamed around their feet causing small bubbles to appear. They both looked solemn, as though someone had died.

“—which is why we need to go,” Phoenix was saying. Livia nodded.

“But if she really is—”

“I know she’ll be able to help. We just have to find her.”

“But if you don’t even know where she is, it’s just like a death wish. The monsters will take us as free bait.”

Phoenix looked up. When she saw us, she smiled, but I knew it was strained. When you spend a couple of life and death situations with a person, you come to read them pretty well.

“Jason,” she said. “We need to talk. I may know someone who can help us, but you have to agree to leave camp again.”

I nodded. “I knew we weren’t gonna be here that long. Eventually we’d regain hope.”

This time Phoenix gave me a real smile. “Okay. Here’s the plan. When we leave camp, we have to search for a specific person. Her name’s Aaliyah Moore. She’s my cousin, and she’s a Greek demigod, but you have to trust her.”

If that was the most surprising thing I’d heard that day, I would have been lucky. Unfortunately, the Fates didn’t seem to be on my side. I was excited. We’d found a lead. But would it be worth it? Sometimes people said one thing and meant something else. If this was the case, it wouldn’t be the first time. We climbed aboard Jeffrey the flying llama. Before we left, Jayni had insisted on giving us clean clothes. She also gave me the gift of soap.

“You smell,” she’d said, shoving the soap in my hands. “I give this to you in the hope that you’ll actually shower.”

Ouch. Phoenix and Livia had cracked up. As we boarded, they were still holding their noses in jest. Yup, these people were definitely my best friends. I couldn’t have asked for better.

Once we were on board, we took our places. Phoenix was in the cockpit, flying the llama. Livia was at the window in hope of a sign from the plants. And me, I didn’t really have a job, so I just sat down and played a sad, one player game of Mario Kart. It was sad because I kept losing to the computer generated person. It also felt so weird to be doing something so normal that a regular, mortal teen would be doing.

“Hey, Jason,” called Phoenix. “I’ve got a job that’ll save your sorry butt from losing again.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. I walked up to the cockpit. I’d never actually been inside the cockpit before, partly because Phoenix didn’t want me up there, partly because I had no reason to be up there. She pointed at the radar by her right hand.

“See that dot?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“That’s where we believe my cousin is. But to be sure, I need you to scout ahead, because you’re Superman.”

I closed my eyes. I was really starting to dislike all these nicknames.

“Okay, fine. What does she look like?”

She turned to a computer that I swear was not there before. She pulled up a photo of a young girl. She had long, black hair that was loosely braided, and it cascaded down her shoulder. She had dark skin and eyes that looked golden. In the picture, the girl was laughing. Her smile was so real, it made my heart ache. I must admit, the girl was beautiful.

“This is Aaliyah. If you can find her, we’ll find you.”

She stuck something like a pin on my shirt.

“This is a tracker,” she told me. “It’ll help us find you.”

I nodded. I wanted to find this girl so that we could find Reyna, because if even flowers couldn’t find her, maybe no one could.

“Press this button when you find her, and you’ll let the ship know that you’ve found her.”

I gave her a thumbs up and walked back to the main room. Livia nodded at me and gestured to a door that I’d never seen before.

“If you jump out, you’ll be able to scout ahead.”

I opened the door and got a facefull of wind. I stepped out onto it and closed the door. I manipulated the winds ahead of the llama. I couldn’t see Phoenix, but I gave her a thumbs up. Then I swooped down through the clouds.

The first thing I saw when I left the clouds was a giant map of the city. If this is what I had to search through, it might take a while.

Then I remembered what Phoenix had told me.

“Search small sections at a time. It’ll be easier than everything at once.”

I headed down to a cul-de-sac where a couple of children were playing. If they were mortal, they wouldn’t notice me. If they weren’t, then we’d have found Aaliyah.

I landed on a patch of grass. A young boy noticed me and gave me a thumbs up. Obviously, he was not Aaliyah. But I decided to ask him if he knew her.

I walked up to him.

“Have you seen a girl named Aaliyah?” I asked.

He looked at me suspiciously.

“What do you want with my sister?”

Oh, no. This kid is her brother? I thought. What am I gonna say?

I hate to admit it, but Phoenix saved the day.

“Incoming, Jason,” said her voice from the pin. “You’ve located her.”

The boy stopped in shock.

“Phoenix is with you?” he asked.

I nodded.

“And she trusts you?”

I laughed. “I hope so.”

“Then I trust you.”

He turned around. “Aaliyah!”he called. “Get over here.”

A girl walked over. She was dressed in a tank top and jean shorts. She looked about my age, maybe a year older.

“Hi,” she said.

Then the llama landed. Aaliyah’s eyes lit up.

“Wow,” she said, breathlessly.

Phoenix stepped out of the llama. She ran to hug Aaliyah.

“I’ve missed you,” she told her.

Aaliyah nodded. “Right back at you. I’ve got so much to tell you.”

Phoenix turned to the little boy. “Jake!” she cried. “Oh my gosh, you’ve gotten so big.”

He smiled. “I lost my front teeth,” he said, pointing at the two large holes in his mouth.

She nodded. “I'm sorry, but we really need to go. I’ll be seeing you around, Jake.”

Jake looked sad, but he nodded. “Take care of my sister, mister,” he told me, as sternly as a six year old could.

I gave a thumbs up. “Yes sir,” I said.

We climbed back into the llama with Aaliyah. Phoenix immediately ran to the cockpit, and we took off. Phoenix pressed her giant button again, and we dug into lunch.

“So,” said Aaliyah, with a mouthful of food. “You’ve got some explaining to do.”

So I told her everything, with Phoenix and Livia filling in the parts I forgot. I explained how we had been in battle when Reyna showed up, and how Octavian appeared conveniently after the battle. I explained how he had managed to make Reyna run away. I told her about Annabeth and the Sopwith Camel, and my dream about Saturn. I told her we went to Disneyland by following Livia’s flowers. I described our fight with the Empusa, and the fight with Mickey Mouse. I told her about what I had heard while Reyna was at the store. I also found myself telling her about our sad return to Camp Jupiter, and how we came to find her. When I was done, I had finished three burgers, and was on my fourth. Aaliyah just sat there looking stunned. She looked at Phoenix.

“How did you know to come to me?” she asked.

Phoenix shrugged. “When your mother told you who you were, and how you always knew the answer to things, I assumed you would be able to help me. So I came to find you. You can help us, can’t you?”

Aaliyah nodded. “She was in my dreams for the past two weeks. I know where she is.”

I made a time out  gesture with my hands.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“I am Aaliyah Evans,” she said, straightening up. “Daughter of Apollo.”

and now we’re involving the greeks ooooo fun!!

the llama having multiple rooms in it but being built in like 10 minutes plsssssjksjsjanas

[keyofjetwolf]

Not a fan of Eve? Granted it's been MANY years since I've watched Xena (don't suppose you know of any way for fans outside of the U.S to rewatch?), but I remember really enjoying Eve's storyline. That said, when I say it's been many years since I watched the show, I was of an age where I didn't know girls were allowed to like girls and picked up 0 of the XenaXGabrielle subtext so what do I know!

“Not a fan of Eve” is probably harsher than I mean it to sound. I don’t have a problem with the character, exactly, so much as I feel she gets lost in all the things she’s “meant” to be. The story swallows her, in part because she’s never really allowed to be herself.

Note that of all the seasons, the last few are the ones I’m fuzziest on. I’ve seen them the least. As a whole (so, not specific episodes), I think I’ve watched those seasons only one time after they aired? (And when they aired is when I was watching the show, so you know, A WHILE BACK.) So these are opinions I formed pretty near to when it was ongoing, and it’s possible that revisiting it many years on as a different person, my opinion could change.

BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT I HAVE RIGHT NOW SO

I think part of the problem with Eve is that she was necessitated by Lucy’s real-life pregnancy. I don’t say that with any malice or blame at all, and I think the show did a tremendous job of taking this situation and making it work for them. This is a highly physical show and their titular war-goddess character was very very very pregnant, AND THEY MADE IT WORK. Take fucking notes, every other show (LOOKING AT YOU ON BEHALF OF CHARISMA CARPENTER JOSS WHEDON). But the reality is that they didn’t have much chance to plan ahead for any of this, and so there’s very little consideration given to the-baby-who-would-be-Eve beyond making a story where Xena’s now pregnant.

And it’s just muddled right out of the gate, really. Eve starting as Callisto 2: Insanity Boogaloo, which ITSELF boils down to Xena III: Xena Harder, which THEN brings into consideration this whole nature/nurture thing which -- and I don’t think I’m being unkind when I say this -- is just not handled super well. Xena herself is a product of her experiences, as is Callisto, and I think having Eve, free from any real, direct, personal trauma still turn out to be a blood-thirsty remorseless killer undercuts everyone, as well as the series’ larger central idea about the power of personal choice.

Then later, when she’s “redeemed”, that’s pretty much forced on her as well by King Richard Eli’s spirit showing her “Oh no it’s fine your mummy loved you and didn’t mean to die after like a year on the run from every god who wanted you dead.” And from that she becomes a “messenger of Eli”, so now she’s just Gabrielle’s S4 arc, but without the actual moral wrangling Gabrielle had done for years alongside her stubborn insistence that she could have it all (spoiler alert: OOPS). Eve basically becomes an escort mission in character form, and that’s just nobody’s good time.

So she’s embodying these character ideas but without any of the actual character to support it, and when she’s fairly gracelessly brushed to the sidelines of the show, I can’t say I blame anybody for that choice.

Which inevitably swings around to “How would you have fixed it?” GOOD QUESTION YOU DID NOT ASK. I actually SUPER love the whole overblown dramatic Romeo + Juliet mid-season fake out. All the baby stuff actually. I mean, she’s a baby, she’s not going to have a personality yet, no real complaints with how they handled all that.

AND I love that it was so effective that Ares completely believed it, and accidentally fucked everything up by taking them away so they couldn’t be revived as planned. Then they free themselves twenty-five ageless years later through some combination of will and ~true love soulmate shit~ from their arctic grave Captain America cold sleep blahdy blah? Ridiculous, over-the-top, mythological golden age comic book nonsense, THIS IS PEAK XENA THIS IS WHAT I AM HERE FOR THANK YOU AND BLESS.

No, really, it’s a great way to get out from under the yoke of “we have to carry around a potato” in a show with as much violence as Xena faces and must KEEP facing, if we’d like to maintain the “warrior princess” part. Plus, again, there’s Solan. Xena walked away from her child once. To have her do it again, to take this second chance and say “no thank you” doesn’t sit well with her character at all, even as Xena’s pursuit of a redemption that she’ll never achieve is THE CORE of the show. To keep everything moving, I think having it all be a gambit that went off-rails through no fault of her own is a brilliant compromise.

Then what about Eve? Well to start, I’d strike the whole Octavius thing which, despite everything else, IS CREEPY AS BALLS. I actually think we have a great set-up in the show already with Joxer. We know from the time-jump that he decides to give up the warrior life (which we’ve been building toward with him), and he settles down to have a farm and raise a family and life a simple, peaceful life, well-loved by his fellow villagers. He becomes the keeper of Gabrielle’s scrolls, and tells their stories and keeps the memory of them alive.

Why not add Eve into that?

Joxer loves her as his own daughter and raises her alongside his other children. He tells her all about her parents (as that’s who Xena and Gabrielle both are), and she regrets never knowing them, but has no doubt that they, too, loved her and died to save her. When Xena and Gabrielle return to the world, all those twenty-five years later, they track down Joxer and find Eve still with him, working on his farm with her family and having carved out a life for herself. They all reunite, it’s very loving, but Eve has no interest in going with them. She’s heard the stories and read the scrolls and listened well. That isn’t a life she wants for herself. Xena and Gabrielle, however sad, know it’s the right choice, and go back into the world, more determined than ever to fight to make it a safe place for Eve and everyone like her that just want to live in peace.

THERE WE GO. Eve is what Xena and Callisto both were never allowed to be. Their particular circle of violence is broken -- not through messengers or godly intervention, but because it’s what she wants, and people like Xena and Gabrielle will do all they can to ensure that’s a choice she and millions like her are allowed to make. Eve gets to be her own character making her own path, Xena and Gabrielle get to keep having adventures (with a wonderful place filled with recurring characters we can check in on for those amazing down-time moments), and Ares is in for a hell of a realization later WITHOUT actively making Livia his replacement Xena! EVERYBODY WINS