#and when it came time to make the church cookbook there was this big bake off

[beenovel]

Yeah my family is massive as hell. On my mom side there’s my grandma and her five siblings who all had at least two kids. My grandma is the youngest sibling, so her siblings all have kids, grandkids, AND great grandkids. I had to ask if I was related to people at my cousin’s baby shower because I honestly had no idea and everyone was blonde

On my dad’s side he’s the youngest child of two people who were both previously married and had kids in all those marriages. So he has dozens of siblings and he hasn’t even met most of them. I met his older half-sister at the same time as him.

So yeah you walk into either of those family parties and play it cool there’s a 95% no one will notice or they’ll just assume like “oh are you here with ___?”

The "I just pretended I belong here and no one has noticed so far that I'm not supposed to be here" fics are hysterical to me. If someone pretended to be my cousin and showed up in my house they would absolutely get my inattentive ass.

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Matthew Chaffee

Happy Friday, friends. Though the weeks are running together and what day it is means almost nothing anymore, we’re so happy it’s finally the weekend. The last few weeks have been some of the busiest for us (feeling grateful for that) and we’re looking forward to relaxing just a bit this weekend. Do you have any fun plans?

This week’s Feature Friday is Matthew, who shares what it was like growing up in a conservative environment, the response he got from his senior high school class when he came out in front of them by reading an essay (!), and his advice for those struggling to come out. We enjoyed getting to know Matthew and we think you will, too. See what we mean below…

What is your favorite place you’ve ever traveled to and why? Unfortunately, my answer to this question isn’t very exciting. Growing up, my family never had a lot of extra money to spend on traveling, so most of our vacations consisted of road trips around the Midwest. Don’t get me wrong, I got to see some fascinating places and make great memories with my family, but I haven’t been anywhere particularly exotic. I have been to New York City twice, both times for a music department tour in high school, and I’d have to say that it’s probably my favorite place I’ve traveled to. It was so much bigger and so much more cosmopolitan than anything I had ever seen or was used to, so it was quite overwhelming. The sheer vibrancy of it all – the lights, the smells, the languages – was intoxicating. Attending a performance of Phantom of the Opera on Broadway would probably have to go on my list of top ten life experiences thus far. It’s definitely not somewhere I could live for any length of time, but for somewhere to visit, it was phenomenal. 

Where did you grow up? What was your environment like? I’ve spent the entirety of my life living in West Michigan, which, as you may or may not know, is pretty traditional and conservative. More specifically, I’m from Grandville, which is a city of about 16,000 located in the Greater Grand Rapids area. Dutch heritage and Reformed (Protestant) Christian values play a big role in shaping the culture of the circles I grew up in. I attended a Christian Reformed Church, and I was educated in a private Christian school where my graduating class consisted of approximately seventy students. My family consists of myself, my mother, my father, and my brother, who is five years younger than me. I am very close with my parents, and I’d say my relationship with my brother is typical of siblings with our age gap. Family and faith have always been central parts of my life, and I don’t foresee that changing. 

How did your environment growing up shape who you are as a person? Growing up in a pretty conservative area definitely had an impact on my younger years. I remember in elementary school, like many children, I would parrot my parents’ political views when “discussing” politics with my peers. However, with the growing revelation about my sexuality that came with puberty, my views slowly began to change. Another catalyst for my shifting views occurred in middle school, when a good friend of mine was deported to Guatemala due to an error in her parents’ paperwork. The injustice of it all really impacted me and opened my eyes to a world that before had been largely hidden. High school gave me my first opportunity to connect with international students. As I have always been interested in learning about different cultures, I quickly befriended them and even helped start my high school’s International Club, which provided opportunities for American and international students to interact and attend various cultural events. Finally, my Aunt Dawn and Uncle Tim have played a major role in exposing me to issues concerning social justice. Although both of them grew up in West Michigan – just like my parents – their life circumstances have provided them with opportunities not experienced by most of my other family members. Because of this, they have always stood out to me as being somehow “different”, more engaged and more vibrant and passionate than most people I know. As I grew older and began paying more attention to the things my Aunt and Uncle would talk about, I began to realize the value behind the causes they were advocating. When taken together, my friends, my family, my sexuality, and my desire to continuously learn and expand my horizons have shaped me into who I am today. 

What’s one interesting fact about you? Besides English, I’m speak conversational Spanish and basic French and Korean. I also can play piano and trumpet, and I love to sing (though I don’t know if I’m any good or not, since I’m too shy to sing in front of anyone). 

What is one thing you love about yourself? Learning to love myself hasn’t been easy; it’s a process, and definitely something I’m still working on. But one thing I’ve always been proud of is my imagination. I’m a dreamer, and my mind is a wild place. I keep a running note on my phone of all the random, crazy things I think up so that maybe someday I can make them happen. 

What brings you the most joy in life? Oh boy. There are so many things I could talk about here. I love being outdoors. In particular, I love to bike. Bike trails are plentiful where I live, and Grand Rapids has begun to install bike lanes, so getting around and finding new places to ride is a cinch. My favorite ride is from Grand Rapids out to Lake Michigan, which I do a few times every summer with my best friend. Other outdoor activities I enjoy are hiking and hammocking. I firmly believe that everyone should own a good hammock. In addition to outdoor activities, I love to cook and bake. My specialties are ice cream and gourmet mac & cheese. Someday I hope to write a mac & cheese cookbook and title it “MAC: The Complete Guy to Everyone’s Childhood Favorite” (M-A-C are my initials). I also make a mean hummus. I love to learn. I’ve spent countless hours on Wikipedia reading about the most arbitrary topics. Whether it’s German political parties or the Japanese folklore, I’ve probably read about it. Nothing is off limits. As a result, my mind is a veritable treasure trove of random and mostly useless facts. Finally, I find joy in spending quality time with friends and family. Whether it’s playing ultimate frisbee, exploring a new city, dumpster diving at Krispy Kreme (a tradition at my college), or having late-night campfire talks, I’m down for just about anything as long as I’m with the right people. 

How old were you when you came out? What was your experience like? My coming out experience was a rather long process. Pretty much as soon as I began to have romantic feelings toward people, I realized that I had them for both guys and girls. This was around fourth or fifth grade, and I told myself that it was normal, that I wasn’t actually attracted to guys, but that I just knew that some guys were really good-looking. Once I reached middle school, I started to come to terms with the fact that maybe I was attracted to guys. But I continued to tell myself that I was more attracted to girls. I did the whole “percentage” thing, where I was like, “okay, I’m eighty percent straight, twenty percent gay.” I first came out as bisexual to my friend Carly. Freshman year of high school I told a few more friends that I was bi, and it went over pretty well. Sophomore year I briefly dated a girl, then junior year I began dating another girl. That lasted for about a year until we broke up early spring of my senior year. The breakup gave me a lot to think about, but even while dating her I realized that something never really felt right; I could never really imagine myself with her – or with any girl for that matter – for the long term. After much soul searching, I finally accepted that I was gay. One of the last big projects senior year was the “Where I Stand” paper. This was an essay written by every senior for English class, and it was basically an opportunity to say whatever you wanted and to be really open and vulnerable and reflect on your life leading up to that point. I decided to incorporate my coming out into my paper. It wasn’t the central focus, rather more of a side note. Thankfully, my English teacher, Mrs. Hoeve (now Dr. Hoeve) was extremely supportive throughout the process. On the day when everyone shared their papers, I concluded mine to thunderous applause, which was especially remarkable considering the fact that most of my classmates came from the same conservative, Reformed Christian background as I did. On the whole, I couldn’t have asked for a better coming-out experience at school. 

How did your friends and family take it? Did you face any backlash? How did/do you deal with that? I waited to come out to my parents until after my graduation and open house in order to not burden them with the news. Finally, after the celebrations had ended, I let them read my paper. The fifteen minutes or so that I waited in my room while they read it downstairs were the most agonizing of my life, because I knew how earth-shattering the revelation would be to them. When they finally came up to my room, their expressions were pretty much what I’d expected – reassuring, yet somehow disheartening at the same time. They assured me that they still loved me, that they were proud of me, and that they were glad I had told them. Since that time, we have only discussed my sexuality on a few occasions. When I first told them that I was dating a guy, it was almost like coming out all over again; I think that revelation finally made my sexuality real to them. In the intervening time, I have seen my mom making definite strides in becoming more open-minded not just toward me but in general, which is great. My dad, though he accepts and loves me, is very set in his ways – though, to be fair, I have had fewer conversations with him regarding my sexuality. My dad’s parents disowned me when I came out to them, though that hasn’t had much of an impact on me due to the fact that I was never very close to them. My mom’s parents, on the other hand, have always been incredible grandparents to me, so coming out to them, especially knowing their stance on other issues, was pretty nerve- wracking. Incredibly, the news didn’t seem to affect them at all, and their treatment of me since that time hasn’t differed in the least; they are still the loving, generous grandparents I’ve always known, and for that I’m extremely thankful. My friends have all been very accepting as well, though this was to be expected considering I have always associated with my more relaxed, open-minded peers. 

What did you learn about yourself in the coming out process? One of the most meaningful lessons I’ve learned about myself in the coming-out process is truly understanding what I value and stand for. I was raised as a Christian, and my faith is still very important to me. If anything, it’s actually become stronger as I’ve navigated the ups and downs of my journey with my sexuality. I’ve talked with numerous gay men who, at one point or another, renounced religion for various reasons, but often those reasons involved the church’s negative treatment or exclusion of LGBTQ+ individuals. To me, this is heartbreaking. As someone who identifies both as gay and as a Christian, seeing the false dichotomy that has been constructed around these two identities is challenging and frustrating, because I personally don’t believe that such exclusivity has any place in either institution. At its core, Christianity is about love. Sure, there are endless theological arguments to be made, but I don’t believe that these are necessary in order for a Christian to be accepting of another’s sexuality. Indeed, many of my friends are Christians; these are the same friends who accept my sexuality and wholeheartedly support me. Furthermore, the professors at the private Christian university I attend vehemently assert that Christianity and social justice go hand- in-hand, and that this includes advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights. Seeing this kind of support coming from within circles that are often viewed as hostile toward the LGBTQ+ community has been so incredibly encouraging. Not only has this served to reinforce my identity as both a gay man and a Christian, but it has also provided me with confidence when speaking about these issues. 

What would you tell today’s LGBTQ youth who are struggling to come out in fear they won’t be accepted by family, friends, society? You just might be surprised. People you’d never expect to support you will rally around you and love you. It’s also possible that people who truly care about you, but who may not be supportive right now, will have a change of heart when they find out. Sometimes it takes time. Case in point: my own parents, who are still processing and learning about what it means to have a gay son. Know, too, that family can mean more than one thing. Friends are the family you choose, so seek out and surround yourself with people who will love and accept you for who you are, especially if your actual family doesn’t. As cliché as it sounds, it does get better. Sometimes you just have to put in the effort to make it better for yourself and accept the challenges along the way. 

What is a difficult or challenging obstacle you have overcame in your life, or hope to overcome? By far the most difficult obstacle I’ve had to overcome in my life has been my struggle with mental illness, namely anxiety and depression. I was extremely anxious as a young child, to the point where I would induce vomiting before any sort of performance or sporting event so that it wouldn’t happen while on stage or on the field. Looking back, I think my anxiety was to blame for a lot of missed opportunities. For example, I don’t view myself as a particularly athletic person. But is this actually true? Or did I just never really try for fear of failure? Anxiety also manifests itself in my relationships. Elementary school friendships were rocky at best, and college presented its own challenges with meeting people and putting myself out there. More recently, depression has been a major struggle in my life. As I mentioned, I struggled initially to make friends at college (though this has since changed), and as I result, I became very depressed. I saw all the people around me getting settled into their friend groups while I felt alone. There was a point where my loneliness led me to seriously contemplate suicide, and I believe that perhaps the only thing that stopped me was when a friend checked in on me and gave me a hug. Since that time, I’ve been working on slowly but surely moving my center of identity to within myself, rather than placing it in other people and their judgements of me. I am focusing on pursuing my hobbies and interests, taking time to care for myself, and accepting my emotions as valid while simultaneously analyzing them through an objective lens. By doing this, I have become less worried about maintaining relationships and instead have been able to be present and actually enjoy them while also feeling more comfortable in the times when I’m alone. 

Who is your biggest inspiration and why? My biggest inspiration is my mom’s sister Dawn. She is one of the wisest, most thoughtful, and most gracious people I know. I actually came out to her before I told my parents; due to her close relationship with my mom, I knew she would have some good suggestions for how to break the news to them, and that she would be able to help my mom process the news after the fact. To give an idea of the type of person Dawn is, here’s a little anecdote: When I worked as a Resident Assistant in college, I had a resident come out to me. I was thrilled and honored to have him entrust me with such a significant part of his identity, and I really valued the opportunity to walk alongside him in his journey. I mentioned to him the role Dawn had played in my own coming-out process, and he asked if she might be willing to offer some advice to his mom. I reached out to Dawn, and she willingly agreed. I came to find out later from this resident that his mother and my aunt had talked for over an hour on the phone. I don’t know very many people who would go so far out of their way to help and support a complete stranger. 

Where do you see yourself in five years? Oh boy. Honestly, I try not to plan too far ahead, because that can be dangerous for an overthinking dreamer like me. But if I had to say, five years from now I actually hope to be doing exactly what you guys (PJ & Thomas) are doing. I joke that my dream is to have my own HGTV show, and while the odds of that happening are slim to none, I’d be happy to flip houses and develop property even without a TV show. I also hope to meet the man of my dreams, get married, and start a family, though this might take a little longer than five years down the road to happen. My greatest fear is actually never finding love. I know it seems a little ridiculous for a twenty-one-year-old to be worrying about that sort of thing, but it’s hard when you have friends who have been in serious relationships for years or who are getting engaged. I have to keep reminding myself that people find love at different times and in different places, and that I shouldn’t compare my own journey with others’.

Any last words you want to leave people with? Feel free to share! Feel free to message me! I always love getting to meet new people and hear their stories.

Thank you so much, Matthew! You can follow him on Instagram here. Hope you have a great weekend, friends!! xx

P&T

[catalinda04]

Carried Away: Chapter 31: Christmas Eve Afternoon

Masterlist

“If I asked you to marry me right now, what would you say?” Henry asked quietly.

Lucy jolted upright. “What‽”

“If I asked you to marry me right now. What would you say?” He repeated looking into her eyes.

“Henry. I. What?” Lucy stammered.

“I’ll take that as a no, then.” He laughed uncomfortably.

“No, Henry, it’s not a no, it’s just. It’s too soon to get married.” She replied, standing, starting to pace.

“I wasn’t proposing we get married tomorrow.” He laughed.

“But you are proposing?” She questioned.

“Let’s call it a hypothetical.” He said carefully.

“So if I hypothetically said yes, do you have a hypothetical ring in your pocket?” Her voice bordering on hysterical.

“Hypothetically, no I don’t. But hypothetically we will be in London for the next week where some of the best jewelers in the world are located.”

Lucy exhaled heavily, “I think I need to sit down.” She said fanning her face. She sat on the seat formed from the fallen stones. She opened her mouth several times as if to speak, before closing it again without making a sound.

“Oh Henry. I want to say yes. But…”

“Then say yes.” He interrupted.

“But I can’t. I do love you, and I think I would love to spend the rest of my life with you, but I can’t say yes right now. You understand don’t you?” She pleaded, “I mean we haven’t even had a real fight. I only want to get married once, I want to do it right, with my eyes wide open. I’m not saying no, I’m saying, not right now.”

“Well, I’m not going to say that I’m not disappointed, but if you’re going to bring sense and rationality into this discussion, how can I be upset?” Henry asked, walking to stand in front of her.

“There’s no need to rush.” Lucy defended.

“But you’re not saying no? So if I were to ask again in say six months time?”

“Henry…” Lucy threatened.

“I’m just checking. But as I am now standing before you a rejected man, broken hearted at having been rebuffed by his love, why don’t you come here, and make me feel better.” He said, pulling her close by the front pocket of her hoodie.

“Oh, dear. Broken-hearted and rejected. What did you have in mind?” She asked saucily.

In response he claimed her mouth with his, his tongue plundered her mouth possessively. He turned them to sit on the stone seat, and Lucy straddled his lap without breaking the kiss.

“Henry you know I love you, right?” She asked breaking the kiss, breathing heavily, her hands framing his face, looking deep into his eyes.

“I do.” He said ironically, meeting her gaze.

“So you’re not mad, or upset, or…” she trailed off, searching his face for a clue about his emotional state.

“I will admit, I am a bit disappointed, I had hoped for something to celebrate.”

“Well, it is our 6-month anniversary. We became official” she said using air quotes “exactly 6 months ago today.”

“And what a 6 months it’s been.” He said giving her a chaste peck. She wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer in her embrace.

They walked along the trails, hand-in-hand for another half hour before Henry declared, “We should be returning soon, if you want to change for service.”

They returned to the house, which was alive with the energy of almost 20 people getting ready at the same time. Somehow they all arrived at the church with time to spare.

After service they all returned to the house for a big family supper. Lucy smiled to herself watching Henry completely at ease with his family. His brothers asked her questions about herself, and teaching, about her travels and her life in Minnesota. None of their questions seemed intrusive, seeming to come from a place of genuine curiosity about the woman their younger brother had brought home.

When the main meal was done, and the plates had been cleared, Marianne brought in dessert, or pudding as Lucy was corrected yet again. She carried a plate with a bundt-shaped cake, and what looked like a gravy boat of cream. Lucy could see dark spots, indicating there must be some kind of fruit in the cake. She turned to Henry and asked, “That looks delicious, what is it.”

Henry’s face assumed an almost impish expression. “That is a spotted dick.”

Lucy’s eyebrows shot up and her mouth opened in confused shock. The other adults at the table laughed at her expression. “Are you messing with me? That’s actually what it’s called?”

Heather replied from across the table, “Yes, that’s actually what it’s called. They did the same thing to me 2 years ago.” She said in a comforting tone. “It’s quite delicious, despite the name.” Everyone laughed again, this time Lucy joined in. She eyed the slice of cake on her plate drizzled with warm custard. She felt everyone’s eyes on her as she cut off her first bite and brought it to her mouth. She let out an involuntary “Mmmm” when the flavors all coalesced in her mouth.

“This is delicious Marianne.” Lucy complemented once she had swallowed her bite.

“Thank you dear. Everyone does love my dick.” She said, and the whole table erupted into laughter again.

Once the pudding had been consumed and all the dishes cleared, everyone retired to the living room to open presents. Thomas, being the oldest grandchild, was given the task of distributing presents. Lucy was settling in to watch when a shiny blue package was deposited in her lap. The tag indicated the present was from Marianne and Collin.

“Oh, Marianne, you shouldn’t have.” Lucy protested.

“Nonsense, it’s not much, just a little something.”

“Well thank you.” Lucy eyed the package until her turn arrived.

She unwrapped the pretty paper to find a 3 ring binder style hardcover book with a pale floral cover. She looked to Marianne.

“You mentioned this summer that you like to cook and bake. Well that is a copy of the family recipe book, I’ve marked all of Henry’s favorite recipes.” Lucy noticed the sisters-in-law glance at each other with raised eyebrows, and made a mental note to ask them later about it.

“Thank you Marianne. It’s fabulous. I’ll treasure it.” The rest of the evening passed in a blur of color and noise. Once the children had all been put to bed, all of the adults returned to the hotel for some christmas spirits. Everyone gathered in Henry and Lucy’s room because they had enough seating for everyone.

Once everyone had a drink, the men congregated on the balcony to enjoy cigars, and the women lounged on the couches. Lucy turned to Heather, she felt like she and Heather had bonded the most of the sisters-in-law, probably because of their similar ages. “What was with the look you all exchanged when I opened my present?”

The women all exchanged another look but didn’t say anything. “You just did it again. What am I missing?”

Olivia, Piers’s wife finally spoke-up. “We’ve all gotten a copy of the family recipe book.”

“Ok, that makes sense. But…” Lucy asked.

“But,” Olivia continued, “I didn’t get mine until Thomas was born, four years after we were married. Sienna got hers for Christmas after she and Nick got married. Heather and Eva got theirs as wedding presents.”

“Oh. I see, but why am I so special that I’m getting mine now, when Henry and I aren’t even committed yet?”

“Oh we all have our theories.” Olivia said.

“Really? Do tell.” Lucy asked, intrigued.

“I think she’s scared that Henry will move to America to be with you, so she’s trying to send a piece of the family home with you.” Sienna said.

“I figured she was telling Henry that you have her stamp of approval to make it legal.” Eva suggested.

“I just assumed she liked you better than all of us.” Heather said as they all dissolved into giggles.

“I assumed that Henry said something about asking you to marry him, so she jumped to give it to you.” Olivia supplied.

“He told you about that?” Lucy asked shocked.

“About what? Did he actually ask you to marry him? Are you engaged and haven't told anyone?” Heather asked. All 4 women leaned forward and stared intently at Lucy, looking for a ring on her left hand.

“I shouldn’t have said anything. Just ignore me.”

“No, you’re not getting away that easily, now spill. Did Henry ask you to marry him, are you two engaged?” Heather asked point blank.

“Umm, yes….and no. Henry did ask me to marry him, but I said no.” Lucy admitted sheepishly.

None of the other women spoke. Lucy stared into a sea of dumbfounded, wide-eyed faces.

“I told him we needed more time. I don’t want to rush into marriage. I only want to get married once. I want to do it right.” Lucy defended herself and her decision.

The women exchanged another look and a nod before finally Heather spoke. “Well, Lucy. I would like to be the first to welcome you to the family.”

“Didn’t you hear me, I said I turned him down.”

“Oh, that doesn’t matter. Unless he does something supremely daft, I see this lasting. We’ve been holding you at an arm's length today. We have to be leary of anyone Henry brings home, his fame can attract the wrong type of person. But we can finally say, we approve.” The women all raised their wine glasses in a salute. Lucy felt tears sting the back of her eyes.

“So you really like me?” Lucy joked. All the women laughed. The conversation flowed much more smoothly for the rest of the night, at one point Piers came inside, and he and Olivia said their goodbyes. Nik and Sienna retired shortly thereafter. Henry, Simon, and Charlie came in, to sit with the women.

“What have you ladies been chatting about in here?” Charlie asked innocently.

“Cookbooks.” Eva said, and all three women laughed.

Lucy turned to Henry, “I was hoping maybe this next week while we’re at your place, you could help me make a recipe or two from the book your mom gave me.” Simon and Charlie burst out laughing.

“Why is that funny?” Lucy asked.

“Because our Hank here can barely boil water, let alone cook a meal.” Charlie replied laughingly.

“That’s not true, he made me tapas one night when I was in London this summer.” Lucy defended him.

“Did you actually see him cook anything?” Simon asked pointedly.

“No, but…” Lucy trailed off, she turned to him, one eyebrow raised. “Henry?”

Henry’s face turned pink. “It may have been take-away.” He confessed, pink staining his cheeks.

“I think he was just trying to get into your knickers.” Simon concluded laughing.

“Henry William, were you planning on seducing me under false pretenses?” Lucy asked, mock insulted.

“As I seem to recall, there was a reason we didn’t ever get around to eating that dinner, and it had nothing to do with anything I did.” Henry shot back, this time it was Lucy’s face that went pink, while the rest of the room laughed.

“New topic.” Lucy declared laughing, and talk switched to safer topics, but it wasn’t long before Simon and Eva took their leave.

Heather and Charlie seemed in no hurry to leave. Henry and Charlie had always had a special bond, being several years younger than the other three brothers.

“So Hank,” Heather started, “Lucy told us you had some excitement this afternoon.”

“What are you talking about?” Charlie asked his wife conspiratorially.

“Hank proposed, and Lucy said no.” Heather said conspiratorially.

“Really! You turned him down? I assumed when you two didn’t say anything when you came back, that he’d just chickened out. I never thought you might have said no.” Charlie said incredulously, looking from Lucy to Henry and back again.

“You knew?” Heather demanded of her husband “And you didn’t tell me?” she swatted him on the arm.

“I was sworn to secrecy. Henry mentioned during the shooting this morning, that he was planning to ask Lucy to marry him.”

“You told them?” Henry asked Lucy.

“I didn’t mean to. Olivia made a comment that make me think you had already told them. I really didn’t mean to.”

“So, Hank here asked you to marry him, and you said no.” Charlie stated.

“She said not yet.” Henry clarified, taking Lucy’s hand in a show of solidarity. “She doesn’t want to rush into anything, and she made some good points, I had to agree with her.”

Charlie didn’t reply, but had a pensive look on his face. “Well, my dear, on that note, I think it’s time we leave these two alone.” Charlie said standing. “We’ll see you both bright and early.” He said helping Heather to her feet.

“Good night you two. Sweet dreams.” Lucy said, while Henry walked them to the door. Henry hugged his brother and sister-in-law in turn. “Hank, you’ve got a good gal there. I approve.” Charlie said before leaving

“Thank you Chuck, that’s exactly what I was missing, my little brother’s approval.” Henry replied sarcastically.

“Well, needed or not, you have it.” He said before draping his arm across Heather’s shoulders and walking down the hall to their room.

Henry returned to the seating area of their suite to find Lucy carrying wine glasses to the sink. She turned to him, a worried look on her face. “I’m not in trouble am I? I really didn’t mean to spill the beans.”

“Of course you’re not in trouble. I’m not upset, but how did the topic even arise?”

“Well it all started with that recipe book I got from your mom.” Lucy explained the look and the significance of the book, and the sisters-in-law’s theories. Henry looked skeptical at first, but his skepticism waned as Lucy explained. “Women notice these kinds of things.” Lucy finished. “Are we ok?” she asked concerned.

“We’re better than ok, darling. We’re in love at Christmas, what could be better?” He wrapped his arms around her, swinging her around.

“You’re not upset about earlier? I want you to know, 49% of me wanted to say yes.”

“No, I’m not upset with you. You followed your head and your heart. I don’t want you going in to our engagement with anything less than 100% agreement. No reservations.”

“Thank you Darcy. I love you.”

“I love you too Pumpkin. Happy Christmas.” He responded, lowering his mouth to hers.

Chapter 30

Chapter 32

[brightestwitchxmionee]

fred x hermione

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!Send in two (or more) names and I’ll fill all this out about the ship!

General:

Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPsHow long will they last? - fOrEvEr and EvErHow quickly did/will they fall in love? - They practically grew up together but were never close, like her relationship with Ron or Ginny. I always enjoyed the idea of Hermione working for the shop during the break after the war which brings them together in a closer friendship than the “you’re my baby brother’s best friend.” The twins have to be extremely smart to be able to create what they do. A lot of potions, charms and transfiguration need to be involved with their products, and even in the books, she calls it “extraordinary magic,” so she was completely impressed with their work. I feel like the job would challenge her in ways of using potions that weren’t like the traditional brews in class, charms not like the ones taught, and transfigurations that didn’t involve turning rats into cups. I love the idea of her helping him recover his shoulder with therapy and potions, which makes her fall in love with healing, and ya’know with him as well, I guess. Eventually, they confess their liking for each other and have to figure out how to tell Ron, who would probably be the only one against their relationship. How was their first kiss? - Most likely on a date, the two pretending it's not a date and just using the excuse of “hanging out” to mask that it is a date. Hermione probably took him to walk around some places in muggle London, some shops she enjoys like bookstores and maybe a muggle joke shop so Fred could see their trinkets and toys. He bought her some things as gifts, supposed to be a surprise but he needed help counting the muggle money so he had to have Hermione help him. They probably ended the night at a cute restaurant, eating outside, and walking back home towards Diagon Alley, Fred stops to just confess how much he likes her. As he’s rambling on she just gets up on her toes and pecks him lightly on the lips and pulls back to survey him before he lifts her chin and kisses her back intentionally. 

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Fred, fireworks were involved but it was a private proposal. Just him and her, maybe at the Burrow during the summer by the lake at night. Fireworks always have to be involved. Who is the best man/men? - George best man, of course. Harry and Ron as groomsmen. Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - Ginny would be maid of honour. Maybe Luna and Angie as bride’s maids. Who did the most planning? - Hermione, Fred didn’t mind and wanted it to be her day, anything she wanted. When asked, he would help and decide things, but most of the decisions were made by Hermione. Who stressed the most? - Hermione because sTrEsSHow fancy was the ceremony? -Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding Vintage-like/ Rustic | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Most of the people they still had bad-blood with wouldn’t be invited, but possibly Draco and +1 would be invited, despite Fred’s protests. 

Sex:

Who is the one to instigate things? - Fred because he’s a cheeky boy, but Hermione isn’t as innocent as she plays out to be.How healthy is their sex life? -Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right nowHow kinky are they? -Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s headHow much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Like I mentioned in the Draco x Hermione one, I never see Hermione having more than one kid. The same goes for her relationship with Fred, or anyone for that matter, I like the idea of her just having one child. With Fred, it could either be a boy or girl, but just one.How many children will they adopt? - None, unless they weren’t able to have children, then possibly one.Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Hermione most of the time but Fred does help, they try to equally share the responsibilities. Who is the stricter parent? - No surprise, Hermione.  Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Fred, only because I think he would want the best from their kid, and despite not regretting anything from his years at Hogwarts, he would want them to not get in trouble all the time and concentrate on their studies. But, he never held back when it came to telling them about all the hidden secrets of the school and the best way to mess with Filch. Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Hermione, she’s always up early before Fred.Who is the more loved parent? - They are both equally lovedWho cried the most at graduation? - Hermione, and Fred always teases her about it.Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Hermione, they were probably in trouble in the first place from trying to reenact whatever Fred and their uncle got into while at Hogwarts. 

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - Hermione mostly, Fred works late at the shop so she always cooks dinner, whereas he makes breakfast, in return, whenever he wakes up before Hermione (which is very rare).  Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither, Fred being a Weasley he loves his food and Hermione never was a picky eater. Who does the grocery shopping? - Hermione mainly if they’re running low but Fred does the bigger food shopping, or they’ll do it together. How often do they bake desserts? - Every weekend they go over for dinner at The Burrow so Fred and Hermione always bring home desserts from Molly. They rarely ever bake unless Hermione reads a cookbook. Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - An equal mediumWho is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Fred, since Hermione cooks the most, he tries to make up for it. Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Fred more than Hermione, especially when it involves parties or social gatherings.  Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Fred, hands down. Possibly distracted, possibly trying to mess with Hermione and be cheeky. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Fred, he likes to be super organised. Hermione keeps her books everywhere and it drives him insane sometimes. Who is really against chores? - Neither, ~magic~ makes it easier for them Who cleans up after the pets? - They’ve just got Crookshanks so Hermione does most of the cleaning since it is her cat. Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - NeitherWho stresses the most when guests are coming over? - They don’t really stress since they normally have loads of people over, especially George and his kids & wife. Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Fred, only goes digging to find lost things

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Hermione both times, but mainly because Fred joins her, at least for the baths. Who takes the dog out for a walk? - If they had a dog it would be Fred’s so he’d take him/her out for runs.How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - They both love Christmas and go all out for the holiday, especially heading out to pick a tree every year.What are their goals for the relationship? - To be healthy, happy, and for the health of their kids. Also to always keep each other on their toes and to challenge their intelligence.Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Fred, always.Who plays the most pranks? - FRED, his job is a prankster. 

[orbemnews]

The Italian town where they eat 500-year-old meals (CNN) — The signs of the Renaissance are everywhere in Italy. Grand piazzas and palazzos. Metal-spiked doors. Looming archways. And, of course, all that ever-present art in the churches and galleries. But in one city, you also get a taste of the Renaissance every time you enter a restaurant. Ferrara, in the northern region of Emilia Romagna, was once home to the Estense court, or House of Este, which ruled the city from the 13th to the 18th centuries. The court, on the bank of the River Po, was one of the most formidable cultural powers during the Renaissance. Writers including Boiardo, Ariosto and Torquato Tasso were employed by the court, and artists such as Bellini, Mantegna and Piero della Francesco worked for the Este family in their domineering, moat-surrounded castle in the center of town. Their works have survived the centuries — but so have those of Cristoforo di Messisbugo, the court’s master of ceremonies and steward. Messisbugo was one of two celebrity chefs of the Renaissance, and his prowess with multicourse banquets to impress visiting heads of state and fill the bellies of the Este great and good, led to him writing one of the world’s earliest cookbooks. His tome, “Banchetti, composizioni di vivande e apparecchio generale” (“Banquets, Recipes and Table-laying”) was published in 1549, a year after he died. In it, as well as sample dinner menus and drinks pairings, he lists 300 recipes. And it’s thanks to Messisbugo that that, nearly five centuries later, the Ferraresi are still eating the Estes’ favorite meals. Because while every town in Italy has its signature dishes, Ferrara’s are straight from the cookbook of that 16th-century court. Yes, these dishes are real Salama da sugo, a centuries-old sausage and mash. Archivo Fotografico Provincia di Ferrara First things first. To enjoy Ferrara’s best known dishes, you don’t want to visit in summer. And you’ll want an elasticated waistband — because the signature food here is heavy. The city’s best known dishes are pasticcio — effectively a pie filled with macaroni cheese, meat ragu, and bechamel sauce — salama da sugo, a centuries-old kind of sausage and mash, and cappellacci di zucca, pumpkin-stuffed pasta. Each, though, has a twist. Pasticcio’s pie crust is sweet — yes, a meat pie in sweet pastry — while salama da sugo is a kilo-heavy salami that’s soaked in water for several days and then boiled for 10 hours to soften it into a spicy, spreadable meat that’s then served on mashed potato. Meanwhile, that super-sweet pumpkin pasta is usually slathered with meat ragu on top. All date back to the Renaissance. In fact, salama da sugo was said to be the favorite dish of Lucrezia Borgia — yes, that Lucrezia Borgia — who came to Ferrara in 1502 when she married the Duke, Alfonso d’Este. In fact, her famously long, blonde, curly locks are said to be the inspiration for another of Ferrara’s famous foods: the coppia, a spiraling, four-horned bread roll, like two croissants welded together. It was supposedly created by Messisbugo for a banquet in honor of Lucrezia. Sergio Perdonati is at work by 3 a.m. each morning to bake around 1,000 coppie per day, such is his devotion to the bread. “I think it’s one of the best breads in the world,” he says proudly. His grandfather, Otello, started the family bakery, Panificio Perdonati, 90 years ago — Sergio’s sourdough starter is Otello’s original, which has survived the bakery’s bombing in the Second World War, and two property moves. All the rolls are formed by hand and the dough is made using vintage mixing machines. Today, they’ve branched out into the sweet stuff — including panpepato, a cake also dating back to the Renaissance, made with chunks of almonds and orange peel, and covered in dark chocolate. Think Renaissance cocktail flairers Cappellacci di zucca — pumpkin-stuffed pasta. Archivo Fotografico Provincia di Ferrara People have always come to Ferrara to eat. “For sure, other courts had banquets, but Ferrara was particularly well known for them,” says Dr Federica Caneparo, a historian at the University of Chicago specializing in the culture of the Italian Renaissance. “It was especially refined, and food and banquets were a demonstration of power in front of their guests, some of whom would be ambassadors from other courts.” Italian courts had a raft of foodie professions, including the “scalco” (like Messisbugo, the supervisor), the “bottigliere” (an ancient sommelier) and the “trinciante” — the “carver”, who would put on a show for the entire table by carving meat or vegetables held in the air on a giant fork (think of a Renaissance cocktail flairer, only with knives and sides of beef instead of bottles). “They were trusted people close to the Duke,” says Caneparo. “Usually gentiluomini [nobles] by birth, or by merit. The scalco was responsible for organizing banquets and, on ordinary days, the household. The trinciante also had to be a trusted person — after all, he was right next to the master of the house with all those big knives.” Ferrara’s banquets were so famous, in fact, that poet Ludovico Ariosto included a description of one in his epic work “Orlando Furioso,” she says. And no wonder — she says that they were “spectacular, with music, dance, theater, and sculptures made of sugar or ice. They’d start with a play, or music, or both, and then they’d prepare the table.” And forget our single-figure tasting menus — these banquets could have well over 100 courses. Mac and cheese with a sugary twist Pasticcio is a pie filled with macaroni cheese, meat ragu, and bechamel sauce. Archivo Fotografico Provincia di Ferrara With so much food to choose from you can be sure that the dishes to have made it into modern Ferrarese cooking are the classics. At the modern Ca’ d’Frara restaurant, guests sit on hip mustard-colored chairs and cream banquettes to eat these centuries-old dishes. And those used to molecular cuisine might find Renaissance gastronomy equally boundary-pushing. “You often find this sweet-savory combination in the Estense cuisine — it’s unique,” says chef Elia Benvenuti. His pasticcio is an intriguing mix of a dense, meaty mac and cheese, wrapped in a cookie-sweet crust. You approach it with trepidation — how can this ever taste good? — but, somehow, it works. The sweet crust even seems to cut through the richness of the white ragu and bechamel sauce. “They’re symbols of the city — part of our DNA,” says chef of the traditional dishes. “I think Lucrezia [Borgia] would be happy,” adds his maître d’ wife, Barbara. Sweetening up the savory Sweet dishes include panpepato, a cake made with chunks of almonds and orange peel, and covered in dark chocolate Archivo Fotografico Provincia di Ferrara A few minutes’ walk away, locals are spilling into Ristorante Raccano, in a 15th-century cloister. Some are here for meat cooked in the oh-so-21st-century Josper oven — what owner Laura Cavicchio describes as “one of the most technically advanced grilling machines.” But others? They’re here for Lucrezia’s beloved salama da sugo. This is normally one of Ferrara’s more savory dishes — the salama is so heavily spiced, it hardly needs sugar. But Cavicchio and her children, Gabriella and Luca Montanari, like to take it right back to its Este roots by serving it with fried custard. The salama — made with different cuts of the pig including neck, belly, liver and tongue, with neck fat binding it all together — is seasoned with spices including cloves, cinnamon, red wine and Ferrara’s ubiquitous spice, nutmeg. It’s then aged in a pork casing for around a year, soaked in water for three days to soften it up, and then boiled for up to 10 hours. By that point, it’s as soft as jam, and chef Luca scoops it out, sprinkles it on top of potato mash, and adds mostarda (like a sweet chutney), plus the crowning glory: a cube of fried custard. “This isn’t a reinterpretation — in the old recipes, you find it served with custard,” says Cavicchio, who’s combed through Renaissance recipes and history books to make it authentic. Alongside modern dishes, they also serve “Crostino alla Messisbugo” — chicken liver and sauteed herbs pate, smeared on toasted bread. It’s another hit from the great man’s recipe book. Meanwhile, their cappellacci di zucca — handrolled pasta pillows, like oversized tortellini, filled with sweet pumpkin and nutmeg — come drenched in meat ragu and topped with parmesan cheese. Again, it’s a combination that shouldn’t work, but does. Alone, the cappellacci are offputtingly sweet to 21st-century tastes. Douse them with meat and cheese, though, and it slices through the sweetness, while amping up the taste of the sauce. Ferrrara was ruled by the powerful House of Este from the 13th to 18th centuries. Shutterstock The Estes’ signature “agrodolce” (sweet-savory) flavor was a conservation method, says Cavicchio. “People had vinegar, wine and salt. Marco Polo used it.” And although at the restaurant they use modern techniques, including that Josper oven, they want to keep the tastes as similar as possible to their heritage. “Over the years I’ve acquired a way of interpreting a recipe — I change the cooking techniques and some of the ingredients, but you need to know the product to do that,” says Cavicchio. Born just over the border in Veneto, where agrodolce flavors are also fundamental, she reads as many books about the Estes’ food habits as she can and experiments to keep the final product as authentic as possible. “Messisbugo was studious,” she says. “He invented recipes with the ingredients he had and the methods available to him. He didn’t have a fridge, so he used vinegar, wine and sugar. We’re much luckier, but I think he’d still appreciate what we do. For us, [the heritage] is a richness.” The modern day foodie courtiers Ferrara’s local bread is supposedly inspired by Lucrezia Borgia’s hair. Archivo Fotografico Provincia di Ferrara Like everywhere in Italy, restaurants and food heritage are important to the locals. Over at Da Noemi — a restaurant named after his grandmother, who opened up by herself in 1956 — 23-year-old Giovanni Matteucci has a hobby unlike many people his age. He buys antique copies of Ferrarese history and recipe books. “Sweetness was synonymous with the food of the rich,” he explains. “They used lots of spices and sugar to show off their wealth.” Even recipes for glammed-up egg yolk, and lasagne, had sugar and cinnamon on top, he says. And although he says it isn’t proven that Lucrezia Borgia really did love salama da sugo above all else, we do know that she adored apples — from the shopping list she compiled for her country estate. “She ordered loads of apples and different varieties,” he says. “It’s also said that she liked garlic.” At Da Noemi, Giovanni and his mom, Maria Cristina Borgazzi, run the kitchen. Brother Luca, meanwhile, is the maître d — the modern equivalent of Messisbugo. In fact, Luca takes his role as master of ceremonies so seriously that he’s decided that their reduced pandemic seating plan will stay forever. “We can pay more attention to the client this way,” he says. Speak to anyone in Ferrara, and they’ll wax lyrical about their pride in their food heritage. Yet, although Italians flock to the city to eat cappellacci, pasticcio, salama da sugo and coppie, the dishes have never really conquered the rest of Italy, as other regional dishes like pizza or tortellini have. Not that the Ferraresi care. “Ferrara is beautiful because of the Este family, and it’s the same for their dishes,” says Giovanni Matteucci. “People come to Ferrara for this, and we have to protect it. “Italy is based on its history. We don’t have Silicon Valley — this is our richness.” And, of course, their sweetness. Eating like Renaissance courtiers, here, is the most modern thing they can do. Source link Orbem News #500yearold #eat #Italian #meals #Town

[billyhargrovetrash]

Sugar Cookies

After the incident with the door and the smoke and Belch almost running him over with his car, Mike biked home, headed straight for the cabinet in the kitchen with his grandma’s old cookbooks and pulled out the first one his hand landed on. The Dessert Collector, 3rd Edition. He stared at it for a moment, not quite seeing it, hands shaking, before putting it down on the counter and taking a deep breath and waiting for his breathing to even out before he opened the book to the back and looking through the recipes.

He was searching for sugar cookies. He’d never baked before in his life but his mom had used to make them all the time and Mike sometimes stopped in the bakery in town just to smell the nutmeg and remember his mom’s hand smoothing his hair down and cupping his cheek before tickling his belly until he giggled and twisted away from her questing fingers.

And Mike could have done any number of things to force the adrenaline from his system. There was still chores that needed to be done even if his grandpa had said he could be done after running the deliveries. The fields always needed to be checked for rocks or Winston Blackpool had said he would show Mike how to work on an engine. But Mike was desperate for his mother’s comfort and if this was the closest Mike could be to her, then he would bake.

Plus, people had liked Jessica Hanlon. She’d shown up to bake sales and church pitch-ins with her crumble cakes or lemon squares or blueberry cobbler and no one cared her skin was darker than everyone else’s. They didn’t care her hair was kinky or her lips were big. If she showed up at someone’s front door with a casserole after something bad happened in a family, it wasn’t a case of “That negro woman better get out of here” or worse. It was “Jessica Hanlon is so thoughtful, Oliver. We really should have the Hanlons over for dinner sometime.” She was sunshine and warmth and Mike had never seen anyone raise their voice or a hand to his mother.

Mike didn’t expect that to happen for him. He just wanted to feel closer to his mother and his best memories involved her baking while Mike watched wide-eyed, standing on tiptoes to peer over the counter and watch exactly how the cakes were made.

The first batch came out burned. The second batch looked good on the top but the bottom was just as burned as the first. His grandpa came in just as Mike was setting the third batch, and the best looking yet, on the cooling rack. He picked one up, bit into and promptly spit it back out onto the counter. Mike wilted and immediately took the cookie sheet to the trashcan to scrape the rest of the cookies in.

“Keep practicing, Mike,” his grandpa said, heading for the bathroom to get cleaned up. “Jessica’s were worse when she first started baking.”

Mike kept scraping the cookies into the trash but there was a small smile on his face now.

--

The second time he attempted sugar cookies, it was after a dressing down from his grandfather about staying out past the curfew. Mike had tried to explain it wasn’t actually his fault (which it wasn’t...Henry and his goons made Mike’s life a living hell whenever he set foot into town and that included making him stay out past curfew) but his grandfather hadn’t been willing to hear it.

So while his grandfather was in the study doing the books for the farm, Mike banged around in the kitchen, savagely hoping he was giving him a headache. A small part of him felt guilty for the thought but it wasn’t quite enough to make him stop being noisy.

It was only after his third time closing the oven door harder than necessary did his grandfather appear in the doorway to the kitchen, his scowl a heavy thundercloud on his face. He opened his mouth, ready to bellow, before looking at Mike who was watching him a calculated look of wide-eyed innocence. He let out a long gusty sigh.

“Keep the noise down in here or any mistakes I make will be coming out of your hide,” he finally growled before turning back around and stumping back to the study. Mike barely caught the mutter of, “Just like his mother” and grinned, somehow feeling lighter than he had ages.

This batch, while still nowhere near as good as his mom’s, was at least edible.

--

“Mike, you know I appreciate what you’ve been doing,” Leroy said, watching as Mike pulled mixing bowls and ingredients out of the cabinets. “And the men on the farm do, too. But do you think you could try something besides sugar cookies this time?” Mike frowned, considering. He had gotten good at them over the past few weeks but the men his grandfather hired to help out had also become his test subjects. Mike tended to judge how good his baking was by how fast the food disappeared and the past few times the cookies hadn’t lasted past a few hours.

“Alright,” Mike agreed and began flipping through the pages until he settled on sourdough bread. Instead of leaving, though, Leroy pulled up a chair at the kitchen table and sat down to watch Mike.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“What?” Mike faltered, looking up at his grandfather. “Why do you think there’s anything to talk about?” Leroy gave him an unimpressed look.

“You think I didn’t notice you only bake after you had a run in with the Bowers boy or after you and I have a fight?” Mike flushed and looked determinedly back at the flour he was carefully measuring out. “So. Do you want to talk about it?” Mike was quiet for a few minutes as he separated and measured out the rest of the ingredients.

“I asked Tina Pattison out today,” he said after a few minutes. His face was bright red, but Leroy only raised his eyebrows. “And she said no.” He tried not to feel upset but he had had a crush on Tina for months. They had grown up at the same church and been in the same Sunday school class and every now and then her family came over for supper. She had one of the prettiest smiles Mike had ever seen, looked beautiful in purple and could snap out a comeback faster than Sammy Walker could snap a rubber band across the room.

“Ah,” Leroy said. He was quiet for a few minutes while Mike worked. “This sort of thing happens, Mike.”

“I know,” Mike muttered. “I just...I really like her, Grandpa.”

“I know you do, boy, just hold on. Did I ever tell you how I met your grandmother?” Mike shook his head, pausing in his work to watch his grandfather. Leroy’s gaze was far away and he had a small smile on his face.

“I used to work in a train yard Bangor,” he began. “Loading and unloading the cars, that sort of thing. The first time I’d ever seen my Shirley, she was wearing a beautiful blue dress and was heading into the main office for her first day of work. Easily the prettiest woman I had ever laid eyes on and I knew I needed to talk to her.”

“What did you say?” Mike asked. It was rare his grandfather talked about his grandma. Mike had seen a few pictures but she had died before he was born. To his surprise, instead of spilling something romantic or something similar, Leroy began laughing.

“I whistled at her,” he told Mike. “Like she was one of the common girls on the corner at night.” Mike didn’t quite see how that was funny but he kept quiet. “And your grandma, she turns around, her head held high and she’s looking over the men in the yard and finally her eyes land on me. And anyone can see your grandma is madder than a hornet and she tells me in the iciest voice imaginable that I can take my whistle, shove it where the sun don’t shine and go to hell. Ooh, I thought winter had come early when she said that! But I knew then she was going to be the woman I married.” Mike huffed out a laugh.

“It doesn’t sound like she was real keen on the idea,” he said. Leroy laughed.

“She wasn’t at first,” he agreed. “It took me weeks to get her speak to me after that. I spent most of my wages bringing her flowers to make up for that damned whistle, but she was worth every penny then and after. There were times when I thought she’d leave for good. But only the good Lord knows how I managed to convince her to choose me in the end.” He looked at Mike, warmth shining from his face. “Mike, you’re young. I won’t tell you not to smart over Miss Pattison because I’ve been rejected a fair time or two and I know it stings. But when you the meet the one she’s going to be worth every moment you spend breaking your back for her because she’ll be there to help put you back together again.” He stood up to clap Mike on the back. Mike reached around to give him a brief one-armed hug.

“I’ll keep that in mind, Grandpa. But if it’s all the same to you, when I meet another girl I like, I don’t think I’ll ask you for advice on how to go about asking her out.”

Leroy roared with laughter, slapping his thigh.

“Worked out alright for me, Mikey,” he chuckled, wiping his eye. “But your daddy was the real romantic. If you’re anything like him when it comes to women, you’ll do just fine.” Mike grinned as his grandfather left the kitchen, the sting from Tina Pattison’s rejection not completely gone but softened a bit.

--

After Neibolt Street, Leroy bodily removed Mike from the kitchen. He didn’t know what was going on with his grandson and Mike was refusing to talk about it but if he had enough energy to cover the entire damn kitchen in breads, cookies pies and cobblers then he had enough energy to go help dig up potatoes. He expects whatever is bugging Mike will taper off in a few days but the weeks pass and Mike’s baking frenzy doesn’t slow down at all.

The only good thing that came out of it, that Leroy could see, was Mike improved by leaps and bounds, but he still refused to talk to Leroy about. Leroy shrugged it off. His friends hadn’t been coming around as much so Leroy figured it was a fight but Mike didn’t seem to be in any trouble that Leroy could tell so he left it alone.

--

“Holy shit, Homeschool,” Richie said when they met up three days after the sewers. “These are amazing!” Mike grinned sheepishly, ready to brush off the compliment as Richie being a little shit but then Bev chimed in.

“Seriously, Mike,” she said, taking another cookie and biting into it with a small groan of relish. Next to her, Ben choked on his own cookie. “Richie is right. Where did you learn to bake?”

“Uh, over the summer. I sort of taught myself,” Mike admitted. Richie’s eyes popped open.

“Are you serious? Do homeschooling courses include home ec? Mikey, can you sew, too? If I give you my socks -”

“Your socks a toxic hazard,” Stan cut across him. “Don’t do that Mike.” He shamelessly grabbed a handful of cookies, clutching them possessively and leaning away from Richie, who made a grab for one. “There’s an entire container full of them right there,” he hissed. “And I am injured!”

“So is Eddie and he’d share with me,” Richie shot back, making another try.

“No, I wouldn’t,” Eddie said.

“No, I don’t take home ec courses,” Mike interrupted, his tone a little defensive. He would not, however, admit to knowing how to sew to Richie in a million years. “My mom used to bake so I wanted to learn. Get closer to her, you know?” Everyone nodded.

“That’s really sweet, Mike,” Beverly smiled and Mike couldn’t help the bashful smile he gave her in return.

“But wait,” Richie said. “Didn’t you say -”

“Shut up, Richie!”

@stillreddie I know you didn’t ask for this but I really liked your headcanon about Mike and baking so I wrote something

[kansascityhappenings]

Traditional Halloween foods and preparing for a cold holiday

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Fall took a sudden cold turn this last week. On Halloween, temperatures could drop to what we usually see in winter — plus, the ground might be too wet for walking, especially for kids in costumes. There is even a chance for snow.

Not everyone likes the idea of a White Halloween, but there are some alternatives that can help keep the holiday fun for you and your family and friends.

This weekend is an excellent time to prepare in advance, buy some groceries, and to create a backup plan in case you decide to ditch the parties and keep the kids indoors.

One alternative: focus on making a memorable Halloween meal and think ahead about some kid friendly Halloween movies and shows. Some candy at home with a couple of friends over in costumes might be more manageable this year than a hike through the neighborhoods in freezing to almost freezing temperatures. Contact other parents you know and see if you can come up with an indoors plan together.

A snowy Halloween will likely be memorable for your kids, help them see it as positive

Most people on Halloween focus on getting candy, but there are also a lot of hearty foods associated with the day. The spooky holiday originates from a mixture of European influences, including pagan festivals and Christian observances. Foods that were available for these events hundreds of years ago are commonly used at fall and Halloween gatherings today including: turnips, apples, gourds, nuts, corn, squash, potatoes, beef, pork, lamb, poultry, wines, and ale.

Halloween gets a lot of its identity from an older Irish holiday called Samhain, which has a long list of savory and sweet foods associated with it. Western Christianity’s influence on Halloween led to churches and communities abstaining from meats around that time of year as a way to reflect on departed loved ones.

At the bottom of this post, there are a couple of recipes and a plan for a Halloween dinner if you need to make an alternative indoors plan this year. These foods could also be used for another cold day this week or in the near future. This post would be far too long to add a recipe for each item below, and this isn’t a cookbook. The foods on this list could also teach you more about Halloween and its history.

Side dishes

Boxty

The Irish love potatoes in just about every form. Boxty is another take on potato pancakes. It consists of finely grated potatoes or mashed potatoes mixed with flour, baking soda, buttermilk, and sometimes eggs. The mixture is fried on a pan for a few minutes, then flipped to the other side — just like a more traditional pancake. The most noticeable difference between boxty and other fried potato dishes is its smooth, fine-grained consistency. It can also be served as a type of dumpling. This is generally easy to make and great for kids.

Champ

Several Samhain foods feature potatoes, including champ. It is made by combining mashed potatoes and chopped scallions with butter, milk, salt, and pepper. It is simple and inexpensive to make. In Samhain lore, a bowl of champ along with a spoon was set at the foot of a hawthorn bush. People believed the shrub was the entrance to a fairy home — and fairies played a big role in Irish folklore. Leaving behind a bowl of champ was a way for people to honor and remember the dead, and for others, a way to give an offering to fairies.

An Irish Halloween tradition is to serve colcannon with a ring and thimble hidden in it. The dish champ is similar, but made with buttermilk. Colcannon is generally made from potatoes, butter, milk, and kale. Image taken from Wikipedia.

Colcannon

Similar to champ, colcannon is another traditional Irish dish made of mashed potatoes, but with kale or cabbage. It’s a mashed potato dish with butter and milk, with chopped up cabbage and herbs. It can contain other ingredients such as scallions, leeks, Laverbread (a type of seaweed), onions, and chives. This dish is popular at Samhain gatherings. There are several variations out there of it. Brady’s Public House in Kansas City serves colcannon.

Finnish mashed turnip casserole

This is a traditional Christmas dish in Finland — sorry, it’s not Halloween themed, but it’s one of the better turnip dishes out there. The root vegetable is popular in European dishes around autumn. The casserole is also called ���Lanttulaatikko.” It’s not easy to pronounce for English speakers.

The casserole is usually served as a side to ham, fish, or other meats. It’s made of boiled and mashed rutabagas and enriched with a mixture of bread crumbs, eggs, cream, treacle, butter, and seasoned with salt, cinnamon, or nutmeg.

Irish stew

Warm and filling, Irish stew is a popular dish typically made with lamb, potatoes, carrots, onions, parsley, and beer. Many food historians believe that goat was originally the meat of choice for this classic stew; it eventually was supplanted by beef and mutton. Recipes vary widely as this meal dates back to medieval times. Recipes today generally include Guinness or an Irish stout, but there are ways to cook a pot of this without using alcohol.

Stewing is an ancient method of cooking meats throughout the world. Cauldrons came to Ireland around the 7th century AD and became the dominant cooking tool at that time. This type of stew goes great with bread.  Conroy’s Public House has a version of the stew. Browne’s Irish Market has an Irish potato soup on its menu along with several other traditional Irish foods.

Potato pancakes come in a variety of forms. Different cultures around the world have their take on the treat. Image taken from Wikipedia.

Potato pancakes

Also called boxties, draniki, deruny, latkes, or raggmunk are shallow-fried pancakes of grated potato, matza meal, or flour. It is made with a bonding ingredient — like applesauce or eggs — and flavored with garlic or onions. The dish is sometimes made from mashed potatoes to make pancake shaped croquettes. These pancakes can also be made from sweet potatoes.

Several European, Middle Eastern, and Asian countries have some kind of potato pancake recipe.

Pumpkin and squash soups

Pumpkin dominates Halloween food season, especially in the United States. In Europe, turnips are more abundant and have a tie to Halloween that dates back hundreds — if not thousands — of years. When the holiday moved overseas, pumpkins were used in place of turnips as the gourd was more common in the U.S.

There are a variety of soups that fit the fall season from pumpkin and roasted butternut squash soups, apple based soups, chilies, and vegetable broths. These are often easy to make and great to eat on a cold day.

Squash soups often include acorns. Roasting squash before putting it in a soup can help concentrate the gourd’s flavor. Squash soup can be prepared with chunks or pieces of squash. Onion, cream, sage, thyme, cinnamon, old bay, and marjoram all make for great spices with pumpkin or squash dishes. You can find pumpkin and squash like soups at Panera Bread locations, Rye Plaza, and Brown & Loe.

Sowans

Also called virpa, sowans are a Scottish porridge dish made from oats after milling. The oat husks are soaked in water and fermented for a few days. The liquor is strained and allowed to stand for a day. This allows starchy matter to settle. The liquid part can be poured out or used as a drink. The leftover sowans are salted and boiled with water until thickened, then served with butter or dipped into milk. Recipes for sowans might be complicated if you’re not familiar with these processes.

Meats & mains

Beef and Guinness pie

Beef in dark, silky gravy composed of fat and reduced stout, along with vegetables, and in a covered pastry. It’s a dish that works well to warm people up and fits for any day in fall. This food is a challenge to make and takes a lot of time – it’s for the expert cook or baker in the family to attempt. One recipe online listed it takes more than 4 hours to make and needs 2 hours of refrigeration.

Meat pies

Samhain is big on the meat pies. Historians date the pies back to the Neolithic Period around 9500 BC. It’s simply a pie with a meat filling and other savory ingredients. Meat pies are great for fall dinners and can be assembled in hundreds of different ways.

Meat pies in Kansas City are found at a variety of places including Banksia and PotPie. Ashleigh’s Bake Shop in Westport serves meat quiches.

Other meat mains

If pies don’t really satisfy your meat cravings, other main courses that might work include: roasted lamb, meatloaf, chicken fricassee, apple cider glazed chicken, garlic rosemary pork chops, honey garlic glazed salmon, and chicken Florentine.

Vegetable main courses

Try casseroles or pastas with apples, turnips, pumpkin, onions, or squash. Also, try harvest bowls with a mix of your favorite fall vegetarian ingredients.

Cakes & breads

Apple bread

For the baker in the family, there are plenty of great bread recipes online appropriate for autumn. Apple bread pairs well with foods for both Halloween and Thanksgiving. An added bonus: bread can easily be made from ingredients from your pantry without having to buy too many items from the store.  Apple bread usually consists of flour, cinnamon, white and brown sugar, vanilla, vegetable oil, eggs, baking powder, and, of course, some apples. Throw in some chocolate chips, nuts, or bacon if it fits your palette. Make sure to give yourself plenty of time if you want to make bread for a specific day.

Barmbrack is a quick bread with sultanas or raisins. For a traditional Irish Halloween gathering, a baker may add objects into the dough to play a game.

Barmbrack

Cake has long been a part of Halloween celebrations. Barmbrack is a quick bread with sultanas and raisins. The dough is sweet, but not as rich as a regular cake. It is sometimes called Bairín Breac.

The cake is often used as part of a fortune-telling game or for entertainment. Traditionally, a baker would place in the dough a pea, a stick, a piece of cloth, a small coin, and a ring. Each item meant something for the person who discovered it in their slice. These items can easily pose as a choking hazard. If you ever place objects in food like this, you should warn those about to eat it… so they can look for items thoroughly before biting into something unpleasant.

The symbolism behind the traditional objects in barmbrack often had to do with marriage. The pea meant the person would not marry that year. A stick: the person would have an unhappy marriage or continuous quarrels with their spouse. A cloth signaled bad luck. The coin meant good fortune. The ring meant someone would wed within the year.

Other articles added to the cake include a medallion, usually of the Virgin Mary, to symbolize going into the priesthood or into nunhood.

Barmbrack is often sold in flattened rounds, served toasted with butter along with a cup of tea.

Garlic and herb Irish soda bread & buttered rolls

Rolls with lots of herbs and spices are a mainstay of Samhain. Throw in some whipped butter or a specialty butter and most dinner guests will be happy. Rolls and soda bread go great with stews, soups, and mashed potatoes. Browne’s Irish Marketplace has soda bread and other traditional Irish foods.

Fairy spice cakes

A delicate treat popular for Samhain will appeal to children. Fairy cakes are actually smaller versions of cupcakes. They’re widely popular in the United Kingdom, and come with far less icing than here in the United States. Our friends across the pond find our sugar addiction somewhat cloying.

Fairy cakes are traditionally made with a lighter sponge cake as opposed to the thicker butter cakes used in cupcakes. Muffin tins were not widely available back in the 1700s, so people used ramekins or individual pottery cups to make the tiny spice cakes. In Irish lore, the cakes would be small enough to serve to fairies. Children will like the size of these – but it’ll be far too easy to eat too many of them. Pack in a variety of spices to give it a punch.

Making smaller cakes in tins might also be fun for older children or teens who like to bake.

Pumpkin cider bread

For those who love both apple cider and pumpkin spiced lattes, you can marry the two flavors in a bread that will have the full taste of fall. You can use pumpkin puree (which is usually squash) or carve a pumpkin and use the pumpkin guts to make the bread… or use the guts for soups, pastas, cakes, and pies. Pumpkins are pretty versatile and soak up spices. The gourd goes well with a variety of meats, sauces, and pastries.

Red beet chocolate cake

The color of this cake is perfect for Halloween; it should come out a brownish-red hue. It might look a little like a red velvet cake. This is an earthy sweet cake – and despite the concerns around beets and whether you like them – the mix should be moist and with a slight kick to it. This cake does well with a variety of spices — the best recipes include cinnamon.

Soul Cakes are usually filled with allspice, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, or other sweet spices. They usually contain currants. Before baking, the cakes are topped with the mark of a cross to signify the food is meant for alms. Soul cakes are traditionally set out with glasses of wine as an offering for the dead — this was an early Christian tradition. The cakes are customary around Halloween, All Saints’ Day, and All Souls’ Day. Image taken from Wikipedia.

Soul cakes

A soul cake is a small round cake usually made for Halloween, All Saints’ Day, and All Souls’ Day to remember the dearly departed — this is part of a Western Christian tradition popular in the United Kingdom. The cakes were given out to children who went from door to door during  the days of Allhallowtide. The children would sing and say prayers often in exchange for gifts. The practice in England dates back to the medieval period, but it lost prominence in the 1930s as trick-or-treating became mainstream. Soul-mass loaves usually have currants in the center and include oats.

Treats

Bonfire toffee is a customary bitter treat in the United Kingdom for Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night.

Bonfire toffee

Also called the treacle toffee, Plot toffee, or Tom Trot. It is a hard, brittle toffee associated with Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night in the United Kingdom. The toffee is bitter and tastes of molasses. In Scotland, the treat is called claggum, and less sweet versions are called clack. In Wales, it is known as loshin du. The toffee tastes similar to butterscotch.

People first started using molasses in the United Kingdom in the 1660s to make gingerbread. At first, people thought bonfire toffee had medicinal value — this led to an inflation of the price. Toffee was widely popular by the 1800s. Bonfire toffee is popular in the northern part of the United Kingdom, where sweets darker in color are preferred.

Candy apples

Known as toffee apples outside of North America — these are whole apples covered in hard toffee or sugar candy coating. A stick is placed in the middle to act as a handle. These are commonly sold during Halloween, at fall festivals, and for Guy Fawkes events. Toffee apples are made by coating an apple with a layer of sugar that has been heated to hard crack stage. Humidity can prevent the sugar from hardening, so it is better to make this treat in fall and not in summer.

Caramel corn

Caramel corn is a confection made of popcorn. This is also a popular item during Christmas. A caramelized candy syrup is used in the process. Making this item is time consuming and requires skill to make without burning the sugar. You can find a bag of caramel corn at Topsy’s, Velvet Crème Popcorn Co., Popculture Gourmet Popcorn, and Walmart.

Cranachan is traditional Scottish treat with raspberries.

Cranachan

For raspberry fans, this is a traditional Scottish harvest dessert. It includes whipped cream, raspberries, oats, honey, and whiskey. These ingredients are all popular in Scotland. Cranachan is served all year round. Alternate versions of the recipe include oranges, trifle, spiced rum, and shortbread. Chocolate cranachan can be made with chopped toasted hazelnuts, light muscovado sugar, and chocolate.

Sweet potato cream cheese pie

A cheesecake-like pie made with fresh or canned pureed sweet potatoes, cream cheese, and brown sugar. Top it off with cinnamon and nutmeg. Fall foods are all about the spices and the herbs, but don’t go too crazy – too much paprika or cloves distracts from other flavors. Recipes for this item should be easy to follow and can be made in a decent amount of time, an hour or less.

Suggested Halloween menu

Irish beef stew

The hearty stew is easy to make and great for a cold night. Cooking it in a slow-cooker during the day means it will be ready for you by the time you get home.

Ingredients:

2 tablespoons olive oil

3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 pounds beef chuck, cut into 1 ½ inch cubes

1 pound of carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch chucks

6 large potatoes, peeled and cut into large chucks

1 white onion, cut into large chunks

2 cloves garlic, minced (yes, you can use more)

2 cups of beef broth

A six-ounce can of tomato paste

A 12 fluid ounce can or bottle of Irish stout beer (Guinness). If you cannot consume alcohol, substitute the Guinness with 2 cups water + 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce + 2 beef bouillon cubes crumbled. This will make it a classic beef stew.

1 tablespoon cold water

1 tablespoon cornstarch

Instructions:

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Toss beef cubes into flour to coat them, then fry the mix in the hot oil until browned.

Place the carrots, potatoes, onion chunks, and garlic in a large slow cooker. Place the meat on top of the vegetables. Mix together the beef broth and tomato paste and pour into the slow cooker along with the beer.

Cover and cook on high for 6 hours or on low for 8 hours.

During the last hour before serving, dissolve the cornstarch in cold water and then stir it into the broth. Simmer on the high setting for a few minutes to thicken.

Champ potatoes

The Irish love potatoes and there are numerous potato recipes online. Champ is an easy to follow potato recipe that’s made from scratch.

Ingredients:

22 ounces / 675 grams of potatoes (floury Idahos or russets are recommended. Peeled and quartered)

1 cup green onions

2 ounces of salted butter

2 to 3 ounces of milk

Sea salt (to taste)

Black pepper (to taste)

Instructions:

Simmer the potatoes in lightly salted water until cooked (when pierced with the tip of a sharp knife, the potato should be soft in the middle). This will take about 20 minutes depending on the size of the potatoes.

Finely chop the white part of the green onions and roughly chop the green part. Set aside.

Drain the potatoes in a colander. Place both butter and milk into a pan and heat gently until melted.

Add the potatoes to the pan and mash until smooth and creamy. Be careful not to over-mash the potatoes. You’ll end up with an unpleasant texture.

Add the finely chopped white part of the onion and mix well.

Season well with the salt and pepper to taste. Serve with the green part of the onion sprinkled on top.

Pumpkin cider bread

Ingredients:

22 ounces / 675 grams of potatoes (floury Idahos or russets are recommended. Peeled and quartered)

1 cup green onions

2 ounces of salted butter

2 to 3 ounces of milk

Sea salt (to taste)

Black pepper (to taste)

Instructions:

Simmer the potatoes in lightly salted water until cooked (when pierced with the tip of a sharp knife, the potato should be soft in the middle). This will take about 20 minutes depending on the size of the potatoes.

Finely chop the white part of the green onions and roughly chop the green part. Set aside.

Drain the potatoes in a colander. Place both butter and milk into a pan and heat gently until melted.

Add the potatoes to the pan and mash until smooth and creamy. Be careful not to over-mash the potatoes. You’ll end up with an unpleasant texture.

Add the finely chopped white part of the onion and mix well.

Season well with the salt and pepper to taste. Serve with the green part of the onion sprinkled on top.

Pumpkin cider bread

Ingredients:

2 cups of pureed pumpkin

1 tablespoon of cinnamon

2 tablespoons regular sugar

1 tablespoon nutmeg

2 cups of all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons dry yeast dissolved in a half cup of warm water

1 tablespoon salt

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

1/3 to 1/2 cup molasses

2 cups of apple cider

Instructions:

Combine cinnamon, sugar, and nutmeg with the pureed pumpkin.

Combine salt and 2 cups of flour. Add the cider, yeast mix, and all other ingredients. Add more flour if necessary.

Pour the dough into a lightly greased bowl, cover it, and let it rise for about 45 minutes in a warm place. Wait until it’s doubled in size.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees.

Punch down the dough and turn it out onto a floured surface. Roll the dough into a long strip and then roll it up jellyroll style to fit into a bread pan. Place in a greased pan and let it rise until double again.

Bake in the oven for 50-60 minutes until brown. A fork should come out of it clean.

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports https://fox4kc.com/2019/10/26/traditional-halloween-foods-and-preparing-for-a-cold-holiday/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2019/10/27/traditional-halloween-foods-and-preparing-for-a-cold-holiday/

[jarclave13-blog]

Ruby Red grapefruit chess bars

The first time I learned about chess bars, I was at the Strand Bookstore in New York City browsing through its collection of regional, community cookbooks. While the Strand does sell new titles, its backbone is its used book collection and I like to stop in every so often and see if it has anything unusual and out of print.

While looking through an Alabama recipe collection, I came across a recipe for said dessert. Now, I grew up in family that appreciated chess pie, as my grandparents always ordered a slice at the cafeteria after their meal. But for some reason, I don’t recall anyone ever making one at home from scratch. So, when I craved it on my own in New York, I had to research how it was done.

In any case, after finally baking a pie and declaring it as I remembered, my obsession with the dessert subsided a bit, though that day when I saw a recipe for the bars, which appeared to be a chess pie in cookie form, I did resolve to make those, too. But I have a limited attention span and that day at the store, a cookbook by Loretta Lynn caught my eye, so I put down the community cookbook, picked up Loretta’s book, and began to read it to see if she discussed her love of chocolate pie and her infamous mistake of replacing of salt for sugar when she once baked one for her beloved.

It’s been a few years since that afternoon, and to be honest I had forgotten about the cookies. Though recently a recipe for the dessert by Ben Mims in his book Sweet & Southern came to my attention, and it piqued my interest once again. Curious how his differed from what I’d seen, I looked through my journal and on my phone to see if I’d taken notes about the Alabama version, but found nothing. So, I decided to start my research from the beginning.

The recipe from Ben mentioned that his was as an update on the the tailgate, potluck, and church social standard that called for a boxed cake mix to be used as the foundation. Curious about the cake mix, I began to look at other recipes, and as I found Texan versions of the recipe, which started appearing in the 1970s, most also called for cake mix though a few that did not.

The chess pie bar recipes also varied in their fillings. For instance, one recipe from Seguin fell in line with the traditional recipe for chess pie, with a typical pie crust and a filling of eggs, sugar, butter, cornmeal, and lemon juice landing on top. Others, however, called for cream cheese to bind the custard. Often there wasn’t even juice, which was strange to me as that’s how the pie gets it distinct bright tone.

When I decided to make my own, I decided to forgo the box cake mix and instead begin a from-scratch crust that uses lots of butter, sugar, flour, and pecans that ends up being more like a cookie than a traditional pie crust. As for the filling, I chose the cream cheese and powdered sugar base, which does skew from how chess pies are made, but it does make the custard foolproof. I also added plenty of Ruby Red grapefruit juice and zest to bring it to life.

It’s always fine to bake for loved ones, but in February it seems to be an especially popular time. It’s been said that there are two kinds of people—chocolate lovers or vanilla lovers. Though I’d like to argue that there are also citrus lovers who will opt for the brightness of lemon, lime, orange, or grapefruit over the bittersweet earthiness of cacao or the warm comfort of vanilla. And if you have one of those in your life, then these chess bars livened up with Ruby Red grapefruit juice are the way to go.

Indeed, for anyone who is a fan of bright custardy desserts, these Ruby Red chess bars will be a big hit. They are welcome straight from the oven though I find them even more alluring chilled, as that brings out the grapefruit juice even more. No matter how you serve them, however, know that for the citrus lover in your life they will be a welcome gift. And I know that you will enjoy them, too.

————— Would you like more Homesick Texan? Well, I’ve started offering additional recipes for paid subscribers to help with the costs of running the site. While I’m not taking anything away, if you’d like to support Homesick Texan and have access to exclusive, never-seen-before subscriber-only posts, please consider becoming a member; annual subscriptions are as low as $25. Thank you for reading, your consideration, and your support! —————

Author Adapted by Lisa Fain from Sweet & Southern

Ingredients

For the crust:

8 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened

1½ cups sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 large egg

2 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 cup chopped pecans

1 tablespoon Ruby Red grapefruit zest

For the filling:

1 8-ounce package cream cheese, softened

2 large eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 tablespoons Ruby Red grapefruit juice

2 tablespoons Ruby Red grapefruit zest

1 pound (4 cups) confectioners’ sugar

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

Instructions

Preheat the oven to 350°F and line a 9x13 pan with parchment paper with the ends or the paper hanging over the edges. (This will allow you to lift out the bars when they’re done for easier cutting.)

To make the crust, mix together the butter and sugar until creamy and well blended. Mix in the vanilla extract and egg until well blended. Mix in the flour, baking powder, salt, pecans, and grapefruit zest until well blended and a thick and pliable dough much like a cookie dough, is formed. Pat the dough evenly into the bottom of the pan.

To make the filling, mix the cream cheese until smooth and fluffy, then blend in the eggs, vanilla extract, Ruby Red grapefruit juice, Ruby Red grapefruit zest, confectioner’s sugar, and salt. Blend until smooth.

Pour the filling over the crust then bake uncovered for 45-50 minutes or until the top of the squares are lightly browned. Allow to rest for 20 minutes before slicing. Can also chill before slicing, as they’re also very delicious cold.

Source: https://www.homesicktexan.com/2019/02/ruby-red-grapefruit-chess-bars.html

[healthnotion]

Not Your Grandma’s Crockpot: 6 Slow-Cooking Recipes for the Modern Man

It’s likely that you have some stereotypical associations with slow cookers, none of them particularly manly: Midwestern grandmothers making cheesy potatoes for a church pot luck, your mom serving up slow-cooked stew after you came home from football practice, or your wife and her girlfriends trading recipes on Pinterest.

In reality, however, the slow cooker is in many ways the perfect kitchen appliance for the modern man. Besides its affordability and convenience, it can turn even the most cooking-averse fella into a confident amateur chef. 

If you’ve never used a crockpot much or at all, below we highlight the benefits of doing so, and then provide some dishes to get you started. At the end, we’ll even show you how to take your slow-cooking skills up a notch with recipes from a professional chef. 

The Benefits of Using a Crockpot 

They’re convenient and can have dinner ready to go when you walk in the door. The last thing you often want to do after walking in the door from a full day of work is prep and cook a nice dinner made with real food (let alone clean it up too!). It’s just so hard to get motivated. So you resort to take-out, frozen dinners, and the like. In using a crockpot, and front-loading your meal prep effort at the more bushy-tailed part of the day, though, you can have a meal started when you leave the house in the morning, and have it ready when you walk in the door at night. Instant dinner, whether it’s just for you or the whole family. Bonus: clean up is often as simple as throwing the crockpot container in the dishwasher. 

They make meal prep easy for beginners (even healthy foods!). There are plenty of slow cooker recipes that involve as much prep as any other stovetop or oven-cooked meal. But surely one of the primary benefits of slow-cooking is that it’s quite often as easy as doing some chopping and then plopping all the ingredients in the pot for 8 hours or so. For someone who’s new to cooking, it’s truly the way to go. The Weekly Chicken recipe below is something you can do even if you’ve lived your life under a rock and have never been in a kitchen before. 

And while your crockpot memories may primarily be comprised of loaded quesos (which have their place — see below!), creamy mashed potatoes, and other yummy, fatty, processed-food filled dishes, the appliance actually makes cooking on the healthier side a breeze. Soups, lean meats, seafoods, veggies — you name it, the slow cooker can cook it. Preparing paleo meals, for instance, doesn’t have to be so hard if you just use the right tools (there are in fact numerous paleo slow cooking cookbooks out there). 

It’s affordable! Just like with anything, you can find fancy models of slow cookers. There are indeed $100+ crockpots out there in gigantic sizes and/or with whiz-bang features that will literally let you control the device from your smartphone. If that’s your thing, go for it. But one of the real benefits of slow cooking is that it’s a dang affordable appliance. You can get well-rated models for between $20-$30. And since it’s such a simple machine — just a controllable heating element and a big ceramic/metal dish — even those cheap versions should last many years. 

It’s not just the appliance itself that is cheap; the food you make with it can be too. Whole meats and vegetables are cheaper than premade frozen meals, and, especially if you’re a bachelor or have a small family, a crockpot recipe can not only make a meal for that day, but plenty of leftovers for the days to come.

It tenderizes meat and melds flavors. Using a crockpot is pretty much braising made easy. It especially works wonders with meat; cooking at a low heat for extended periods of time breaks down the fat and tenderizes the fibers, making for moist, truly delectable dishes. You’ll be amazed at what happens to a roast or a chicken breast after slow cooking it for a number of hours — it will literally fall apart at the touch of a knife or fork. 

Beyond just tenderizing your meat, the crockpot really melds flavors together — allowing juices and spices to be fully incorporated into whatever you’re cooking. 

Holds food at the proper temperature for a long time. When it comes to entertaining, one thing that can trip up even seasoned hosts is not only preparing large portions of food, but timing everything to be done at the same time. And then keeping those dishes warm through everyone being served (not to mention seconds!). One solution? Break out the slow cooker! Just about anything — from meat-heavy main dishes to veggie sides to warm appetizers — can be cooked in advance and held at just the right temperature until ready to serve. 

Now that we know the benefits of using a slow cooker, it’s time to get to work – slowly.

A Few Beginner Recipes 

These recipes are super simple, and super delicious.

Weekly Chicken 

Weekly chicken, in chile relleno form.

I call this recipe such, because it’s usually a Sunday ritual in my home to cook this chicken for use throughout the week. The chicken shreds beautifully, and it always turns out flavorful and juicy. I like to use this chicken in sandwiches, quesadillas, or as the base for chile rellenos.

Ingredients

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts

1 Tbsp. taco seasoning

1 jar salsa, whatever brand you prefer

Directions

Place the chicken breasts in a slow cooker and season with taco seasoning. Pour salsa over chicken. Cook on high 4 hours, or low 8 hours. Shred chicken in juices and serve immediately, or pack tightly and refrigerate for use throughout the week.

To make chile rellenos: Char the skins of 2 poblano peppers, then remove. Cut peppers in half. Pour enchilada sauce into the bottom of a baking dish, add peppers, and stuff with chicken. Top with grated cheese, and more sauce if desired. Bake at 350 degrees F until warmed through and cheese has melted. 

Ham + White Bean Soup

This is one of my holiday favorites — a great, comforting soup to make use of all that leftover ham. But it makes for a hearty, tasty dish any other time too. I prefer using dry beans over canned, but you can always use that shortcut and cut your cooking time in half.

Ingredients

4 cups dry white navy beans (soak overnight, per directions on bag) 

1 lb. shredded ham

2 large carrots, chopped

½ onion, chopped

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp. kosher salt

½ tsp. fresh cracked pepper

1 Tbsp. hot sauce

2 quarts chicken stock

Directions

Combine all ingredients into slow cooker and cook on high 4 hours, or low 8 hours until beans are tender. Taste occasionally, adjusting seasoning with salt and pepper as necessary.  

Loaded Queso 

A queso of Velveeta, Rotel, and ground beef is one of the most popular of all slow cooker recipes. I make my own twist on this classic, subbing the ground beef for country sausage and the Velveeta for cream cheese. The result is a richer, sturdier queso.

Ingredients

1 lb. country sausage

2 8 oz. packages cream cheese

1 can Rotel tomatoes

Tortilla chips, to serve

Directions

Brown the sausage until cooked through; drain fat. 

Add cooked sausage, cream cheese, and tomatoes to slow cooker, cook on high until cheese is melted through and creamy, about 75 minutes. Reduce heat to low and serve with tortilla chips.

Taking Things Up a Notch

Believe it or not, it’s not just home cooks who like the commonplace crockpot — top chefs even use them. In fact, renowned chef Hugh Acheson devoted an entire cookbook to the device. I got in touch with him and was passed along the following recipes that will raise and diversify your slow cooker game once you’ve got the basics down. 

Basic Chicken Stock 

Chefs like Acheson will always tell you that a homemade stock will beat the pants off of anything you can buy in the store. You can use the stock immediately in your favorite recipes, or freeze for later use.

Ingredients

Makes 4 quarts

1 chicken, head removed but feet are good if they are attached

Kosher salt

2 cloves garlic

1 branch of fresh thyme (or several sprigs)

2 branches of fresh parsley (or several sprigs)

2 bay leaves

2 medium white onions, quartered

3 large carrots, scrubbed and cut into 2-inch lengths

3 branches of celery with leaves, cut into 2-inch lengths

1 teaspoon coriander seeds

6 black peppercorns

Directions

Butcher the chicken into 8 pieces. Keep the gizzards, heart, neck, and backbone for the stock, but set the liver aside for another day. (Livers are great to accumulate in the freezer for a pâté or to finish sauces.) Season the chicken pieces with ½ teaspoon of salt.

Place the chicken pieces into a large slow cooker. Add the garlic, thyme, parsley, bay leaves, onions, carrots, celery, coriander, and peppercorns. Add 4 quarts of cold water. Turn the cooker on low and walk away for 8 hours. After 8 hours strain the stock, discard the solids, and freeze what you won’t use within 5 days.

Boiled Peanuts

“Green” peanuts are the raw peanut, before curing and roasting. They have a season that runs from August to November, but it can be challenging to find them north of Virginia or so. Still, you should make the effort to find them, because they are an amazing snack when boiled until soft in water that’s spiked with vinegar and red pepper. They end up like beans that have a rich, nutty flavor.

When we cook them, we end up giving them to friends and neighbors — it’s a natural way of demonstrating that innate Southern hospitality. And if you like a little kick to your nuts, add some cayenne to the mix before cooking them.

If you can’t find them at a local grocery store, try looking in the produce section of Asian markets, or buy them online. 

Ingredients 

Makes 4 quarts

2 pounds green peanuts

½ cup kosher salt

½ cup cider vinegar

1 tablespoon crushed red pepper flakes

Directions

Using the lid of the slow cooker as a stencil, trace its outline onto a piece of parchment paper with a pencil. Cut out the shape with scissors and set it aside.

Place the peanuts, salt, vinegar, and red pepper flakes in a slow cooker and add 4 quarts of water. Cover with the lid and cook on high for 1 hour. Then place the piece of parchment directly on the peanuts, reduce the setting to low, and cook for 11 hours, or until the peanuts are tender, like well-cooked beans. Serve them warm, or cool the peanuts in their cooking liquid and store them in it too. They will keep in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.

Catfish Stew

A recipe that blends Hugh’s Southern style of cooking with the philosophy that great meals can be cooked, and held, in the slow cooker. If you want a change of pace from Grandma’s pot roast stew, this is your new go-to.

Ingredients

Serves 4-6

1 28-ounce can Italian plum tomatoes

½ pound slab bacon, diced

1 large sweet onion, diced

1 large red bell pepper, diced

1 branch of celery, diced

4 cloves garlic, minced

4 whole cloves

1 teaspoon ground mace

1 teaspoon ground allspice

2 cups clam juice

2 cups fish stock (or vegetable stock)

1 pound fingerling potatoes, cut into 1-inch long rounds

Kosher salt

2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce

1 teaspoon hot sauce

1½ pounds catfish filets, cut into 1-inch pieces

2 tablespoons unsalted butter

¼ cup minced parsley

½ cup pickled banana peppers, thinly sliced

Freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Preheat a slow cooker on high for at least 15 minutes. Empty the can of tomatoes and their liquid into a food processor and pulse to break them down a bit.

Set a large skillet over medium heat, add the bacon and cook for 10 minutes or until most of the fat has rendered. Add the onions, peppers, and celery and cook for 2 minutes, then add the garlic and cook for 1 minute more. Remove from heat and add the mixture to the slow cooker. Add the tomatoes, cloves, mace, allspice, clam juice, stock, potatoes, and 1 teaspoon of salt to the slow cooker. Cook for 4 hours on low heat. The potatoes should be fork-tender at this point.

Add the Worcestershire, hot sauce, and ½ teaspoon of salt. Season the catfish pieces with ½ teaspoon of salt, then add them to the slow cooker and cook for 20 minutes.

Add the butter to the pot, stir gently, then ladle the stew into individual bowls. Garnish with the parsley, banana peppers, and finish with a grind of black pepper and additional salt to taste.

_____________________________

Matt Moore is a regular contributor to the Art of Manliness and the author of The South’s Best Butts.

The post Not Your Grandma’s Crockpot: 6 Slow-Cooking Recipes for the Modern Man appeared first on The Art of Manliness.

Not Your Grandma’s Crockpot: 6 Slow-Cooking Recipes for the Modern Man published first on https://mensproblem.tumblr.com

[lotsofdogs]

A Wonderfully Regular Weekend

Hi friends!! How are you doing? I’m checking in this morning after a wonderfully regular weekend. How’s that for an exciting intro!? Truthfully I feel like all I’m seeing on Instagram are photos of week-long summer vacations at the beach this time of year so in comparison our weekend admittedly seems kind of regular. But I genuinely like regular! A lot! And while a recap of a weekend that included a lot of time hanging around the house and tackling random daily life to-dos may not be all that exciting to some, I’ve always enjoyed taking a peek into the real deal daily life stuff more than anything so that’s what I’m throwing your way today.

Friday

On Friday night, Chase asked if we could make sprinkle cookies at home and proved, once again, that sometimes three-year-olds have the very best ideas.

I swear by Martha Stewart’s Cookies cookbook when it comes to fool-proof cookie recipes so we followed her sugar cookie recipe before rolling the dough in rainbow sprinkles and baking them in the oven. (The recipe we followed is also available online and it’s fantastic! I omit the lemon juice and lemon zest every time and they’re still great.)

I love this sugar cookie recipe because it tells you to lightly flatten the cookies before baking which is the perfect job for a kid in the kitchen! Can you tell Chase had a hand in these bad boys!?

Saturday

Saturday morning began with a bit of a “mom brain” moment.  On Saturday morning, I headed off to an early morning boot camp class while Ryan took the boys and Sadie on a walk. Clearly I haven’t been to a weekend boot camp workout in months because I thought the class started at 8:30 a.m. when it really began thirty minutes before. I was so confused as to why people were outside running when I parked my car and then I quickly realized my mistake. Whoops!

I headed back home and figured I should make the most of the solo time I had and completed a quick and sweaty garage leg workout that looked like this:

I finished things off with one final burn in the form of a single round of my mini band booty workout.

Holy cow that one is a serious burner!!! My butt was on fire! (Fun fact: I think I was right around 16 weeks pregnant when we took the pics for that workout! I was trying my best to hide my bump since our news was still a secret.)

After my workout, I hopped in the shower to rinse off and as I got dressed everyone arrived back home. The only real thing we had on our agenda for Saturday was a much-needed haircut for Chase, so I nursed Ryder and then we headed off to Snip-Its in Birkdale Village.

I totally forgot that Monday is the first day back at school for many of the schools in our area and apparently everyone wanted a back-to-school haircut so we had a solid 45 minutes to kill before Chase’s appointment. We easily passed the time with some playtime at the park and a visit to Clean Juice for smoothies.

Chase earned a lollipop after his haircut — blue, of course — and left Snip-Its looking at least five years older. How does that always happen after a haircut!?

We arrived home ready for lunch and made sandwiches before Ryan put Chase down for a nap and I did my best to soothe Ryder who couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to eat, play or sleep. It was an “I only want to sleep and eat and snuggle with Mama” kind of afternoon in newborn baby land, so that’s what we did for the better part of Saturday afternoon while Chase slept.

The weather took a turn for the worse in the late afternoon on Saturday which had our family craving a cozy night in with a movie. Earlier in the week, I ordered The Lion King on DVD for us so the timing was pretty perfect and we all snuggled up on the couch to watch Simba! We fast forwarded through some of the scarier parts for Chase but he loved the movie and thought Timon and Pumbaa were hilarious.

One of the things I didn’t anticipate about becoming a parent was the joy I’d get from reliving some of my favorite childhood traditions, movies, games, recipes and activities with our little ones but it really is an underrated aspect of being a mom. I mean I cannot remember the last time I sat down to watch The Lion King but it felt like a treat to be able to do it with my own kids!

Sunday

Sunday morning began with the early morning church service! After our first positive experience with church childcare under our belt two weeks ago, I was much less anxious about turning Ryder over to the sweet volunteers. The woman who was holding Ryder when we came to pick him up said he did so well but that she could tell he is a breastfed baby because when he woke up, he turned into her chest to try to nurse. Ha! (I made sure to feed him in the parking lot before we headed home.)

Once we made it home, we ate an early lunch and then headed out for a quick walk with Sadie around our neighborhood before Chase’s nap. Ryder snoozed the whole time and it felt so nice to be outside! Temperatures hovered in the low 80s so it wasn’t as hot as it has been around here lately which felt like a treat!

We spent the rest of the afternoon getting ready for the week ahead which looked like random household chores, meal prep and laundry. I also spent a little time on Pinterest because I’m dying to do a very minor master bedroom update. We’re not talking and big changes but just little things like swapping out our IKEA dressers that are falling apart for some updated furniture and changing some of the accent colors. Our bedroom walls are gray so it’s a pretty easy base to work with and I definitely want to keep things calm and neutral. I’ll definitely share before/after pictures if anything comes to fruition. We’ll see!!

I hope you guys all have a great week and appreciate you stopping by the blog today!

[Read More ...] https://www.pbfingers.com/a-wonderfully-regular-weekend/

[haileygorski27]

SO, we are in the midst of March Madness…

I personally have not made a bracket because I lack much … ( any ) … knowledge of basketball. :’)

I played basketball when I was a wee-one, but haven’t kept it top of mind since. One of my many nicknames is STILL “Four Points” b/c I averaged 4 points a game one season. You could say that was my peak ??

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My dad however is a BALLER. Well – he keeps up with basketball.

While I was taking a bus from Madison to O’Hare, getting ready to kick off my SPRING BREAK, my dad was flying to Atlanta to support the Loyola Ramblers as they faced off the Nevada wolf pack in the Sweet Sixteen.

Thankfully, the Ramblers came out with a “W” – prolly with a blessings of Sister Jean!

( even though she predicted that the Ramblers would take the “L” this game but SHHH, don’t tell my dad !! )

As a basketball nubie, I don’t know much about the ~lingo~. BUT, I am aware of a TRIPLE THREAT…

It’s when you are an actress, TV personality, and cook, right??!

OH WAIT – I’m thinking of Michel Janse… HAH – see what I mean about “basketball nubie”?!

Michel Janse is a dime who has made a name for herself in LA.

She grew up in Texas and started school at University of Texas Austin – only to find herself packing up her life into a suitcase and moving to LA. ( “with a dream and *her cardigan” … )

Janse hustled her way into the Tastemade’s team while studying nutrition, acting, working in a restaurant, creating YouTube videos and creating DANK A$$ FOOD!

Michel shares her “Pretty Healthy” recipes on Tastemade which include her : Paleo Mocha Frappuccino, Triple Chocolate Mug Cake, Veggie Hash Brown Sandwich, and MORE !!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Without further ado – here is the woman behind Tastemade’s Pretty Healthy cam., Michel Janse!

  Q’s:

Hails: How did you become interested in nutrition? 

MJ: My interest in nutrition started pretty young when doctors found out that lactose-intolerance and fructose-intolerance were the cause of my continuous 9-month migraine in 4th grade. I started to learn how food affected my body, and wanted to research it further. Then, fast forward to high school when I was diagnosed with Celiac’s disease after some major medical complications. If that wasn’t enough, a blood test revealed I had an egg allergy. Soon after, I got really into cooking for myself out of necessity, and then decided it would be fun and helpful to major in something within that field!

Hails: Where did you learn to bake and cook? You mentioned that you worked at an upscale restaurant. What did you do at the restaurant and what did you take away from that experience? Any tips for someone who is just starting out in the kitchen?

MJ: Yes! I learned a lot from experimenting at home, reading cookbooks, and watching a lot of Tastemade. When I moved to LA and needed a job, I started working as a hostess at a restaurant. I told the chef there about my dreams and goals, and he offered to hire me to learn hands-on. (He said the kitchen needed a little diversity, hah! I was the only female, the youngest by a lot, and the only one with no prior professional experience). I learned a lot on the line, and eventually left the job when crazy kitchen hours conflicted with auditions too much. I’d say research as much as you can and never be afraid to take a job where you learn hands-on!

Hails: You’re originally from Austin, but moved to LA – why did you move? Were you nervous about the move? Did you have any connections to LA prior to moving?

MJ: Funny story… I moved because of a breakup. I made a dumb teenage mistake of following a boy to a college that I didn’t want to go to, University of Texas at Austin. When that relationship crashed and burned, I decided to do something I have always wanted to do—move to LA. I moved out of my Austin apartment the day after the breakup and was in LA within about 10 days. I was 18 years old and did not know a single person here but it was the best decision of my life. Weirdly, I wasn’t worried about the move. I was eager to follow my dreams. I had to figure out how to navigate the city, the industry and make friends all on my own. But so much greatness has already happened in two years, not to mention meeting Brook, my boyfriend.

Hails: Tell us about your experience in acting (Cupid’s Match)! Where do you hope to take your acting career?

MJ: Yes, I am so excited about it! I started acting pretty young; I signed with my first agency at age nine. Cupid’s Match is based off a book with over 32 million reads on WattPad. The pilot went really well and we are waiting to hear if we get the whole series! (Fingers crossed). My long term acting goal is to be able to support myself financially off of it alone. That doesn’t sound like a big goal but less than 1% of actors can get by without a side job. I absolutely love acting and I am here for the long-run!

Hails: How did you end up working in TasteMade?

MJ: Another funny story… I was simply annoying. It was a goal of mine for a long time. I made a super low-quality YouTube channel and made cooking videos on my Saturdays. Every time I saw a job or internship opening at Tastemade, I would apply and link my channel. About 5 tries later, they called me in for a job interview. I didn’t get the job, but when I told them about my goals, they called me in for an audition. I started with a couple episodes and then they gave me my own show, Pretty Healthy. It’s been a dream come true! I’m working on Season 2 right now.

Hails: Has your experience acting helped you with your show on TasteMade, Pretty Healthy? What inspired you to start a YouTube channel and do you have any advice for girls just starting off on YouTube?

MJ: Acting has definitely helped. Being comfortable in front of a camera is essential. Tastemade is even enrolling us talent into an improv. class to help us all be even more comfortable. As far as YouTube, I’m probably not the best one to ask, HA! I am fully aware that my channel is low quality. Of course, I’d love to make it better! But right now it’s kind of a fun hobby whenever I have time.

Hails: What advice do you have for girls who want to pursue their dreams?

MJ: Take risks. Reach out to people via email. Nothing good happens when you’re comfortable. Put yourself in new situations! Ask for opportunities! The worst-case scenario is you’d be told no, and then you’re at the same place you are now.

Hails: How did you balance acting with being a student?

MJ: Honestly, I’m at a season of life right now where I always feel a little overwhelmed. I just accepted a new job as a personal assistant, taking a full load of classes, recipe prepping for Tastemade, going to auditions, working at my church, and dating my boyfriend who lives a couple hours away. But, I have learned I am happiest when I have a to-do list. I’m the type that can’t really relax. The only time my TV is on is when I’m cleaning or folding laundry. The only time I go to the beach is when I have to read or to workout. I guess I have gotten really good at multi-tasking. Also, I am extremely type A. I plan my day out to the minute. I’ve learned I do mental work best in the morning and physical work best in the afternoon.

Hails: How do you see your future in acting meshing with your passion for nutrition? Do you hope to pursue them together, separately, or focus on one?

MJ: I really hope to do what I’m doing now! My manager and I have dreams of maybe having my own show on Food Network. I’ll always pursue acting separately as well. I love the essence of acting and being a completely new person. I’d love to write a cookbook too.

Hails: Happy 21st birthday, girly! How did you spend your birthday week celebrating?!

MJ: Awe, thank you! My family flew in from Texas and we went to Palm Springs for a week. My 21st was actually alcohol-free, per my choice. I had so much more fun at the spas than going out and drinking!

Hails: Your special on TasteMade, Pretty Healthy, will have another season, congrats!! What can we expect for Season 2?

MJ: Thanks! More sweets. Those were the fan favorites. More Paleo recipes too. And of course, lots of chocolate.

Hails: Where can we find you?

MJ: Instagram ( @michel_janse ); Twitter ( @micheljanse_  ); Website ( micheljanse.com )

Thanks so much Michel!

LMK what you thought on my latest INSTA ( @allhailsthekale ) or TWITTER ( @allhailsthekale ) !

♡

xx hails

Everything You Should Know About the Girl Behind Tastemade’s “Pretty Healthy” Videos SO, we are in the midst of March Madness... I personally have not made a bracket because I lack much ...

[paharvey99]

No Waitrose October 4

Day 29

You know how last Sunday I made a failed attempt to visit the smallest church in Sussex? Well, today - and look away now if you’re trying to avoid spoilers – I made a successful attempt to visit the smallest church in Sussex.

Ok, the spoiler averse are okay to start reading again from here.

The clocks went back in the night, and parents complaining on social media about children getting up at the wrong time is A Thing, so I was prepared for something bad to happen involving time. What actually happened was that our daughter slept in and we got up happily at the right time. I put this down to just being a bloody great pair of parents.

This Sunday was remarkably similar to last Sunday, in that the person I live with had loads of work to do and so I got to take our daughter out for the whole day, which was ace. The person I live with was not happy about having loads of work to do and not getting to have fun with our daughter, which was fair enough really, but it couldn’t be helped.

I set off in the car with my daughter in the back and a general idea of going back to make a second attempt to visit the smallest church in Sussex. It was still quite early, because of the clocks, and I’d been hoping to time my daughter’s nap with the long bit of driving to the church. If I was going to do that, I needed to do something else for an hour and a bit, so I pulled into the 24 hour Asda and we went to pick up some stuff for tea.

The new Nigella cookbook has a recipe for sausages, apples and onions in it that felt suited to the first day of early nights, so I got some sausages. Nigella calls for Cumberland rings, but Asda doesn’t stock them, as Asda doesn’t stock anything nice whatsoever. I bought my daughter some new tops, as the person I live with had said she needed some new tops, so we found some inoffensive tops in Asda’s otherwise offensively poor range of baby clothes. Seriously, I hate Asda.

Back at the car, the sun was bright and highlighting just how dirty and covered in poo my car actually was, so I decided to take it to the car wash. Asda’s petrol station had a little do it yourself car wash thing, so I checked I had some change (by some miracle I did) and we went and drove round to the car wash bit. There was a man there already washing his car, so I parked up and waited for him to finish. If I was in his situation, I’d have got flustered and hurried up to get out of the way as soon as possible, but this man was not as flappable as I am. He was quite happy to take his time going through all the settings on the car wash to get his car to the exact level of clean he demanded from himself. He was waxing, pressure washing, foaming – everything. We were there about 20 minutes waiting for him to finish.

About 10 minutes in I noticed he had an EU OUT sticker on his bumper, at which point I thought some uncharitable things that I am choosing not to record.

Eventually he buggered off and I got my turn. As soon as I’d put the money in a man pulled up in a car where I had just been parked, waiting for a go on the car wash. I got flustered and hurried up to get out of the way as soon as possible, giving the car only the most cursory of goings over. I hate holding people up, even if it means driving round in a car that is still semi-covered in poo.

No wonder Remain lost.

After that we drove over to Lullington, where the smallest church in Sussex is to be found. My daughter fell asleep on the way, so I parked up and sat for a bit until she woke up. Then we walked up to the church, which is on the top of a hill but completely hidden from view on all sides, weirdly. It really is a very small church; it’s about the size of an average living room inside and it seats about 20 people theatre style, or 10 cabaret style. In truth though, it’s just the zhuzhed-up leftovers of a once much bigger church. You can see the remains of the old walls outside, from when it was a normal-sized church.

This was a bit of a disappointing realisation, but it’s still an interesting place to visit. I signed the visitors book and bought a postcard and set off back to the car.

By this time it was around 12, which is my daughter’s lunchtime, and mine too, I suppose. I drove the mile or so to Alfriston and parked up in the same car park as I had last week, and this time I actually managed to get out of the car, as my daughter was awake.

I put her in the sling and went in search of some lunch. Alfriston has an old post office that serves as a general store, selling plenty of stuff, including freshly-baked gammon and leek pasties, as it turned out, so I got one of those and a bottle of pop and headed off to find somewhere to have a picnic. There’s a big old church at Alfriston on a kind of village green, which is called the Tye, I think, and it has benches all around. We sat on a bench and I fed my daughter a pouch of Ella’s Kitchen Bang Bang Bangers + Mash. She eats real food these days as a rule, but she is teething and not happy about chewing at the moment, so those pouches of mush come in handy. I ate my pasty at the same time and we both got covered in food, just at the point that the church was kicking out and a load of churchgoers walked past and looked a bit horrified by the state of the pair of us.

After lunch, I cleaned us both up and discovered that we were literally 50 yards from a National Trust house I had forgotten existed, Alfriston Clergy House. Being members, it would have been rude not to nip in for a quick look, so we did. It’s a 14th century timber-framed house, mainly famous as the first house the National Trust ever bought, back in 1896. It has a nice garden, but is largely uninteresting otherwise. I bought a Christmas present in the shop from the sale, National Trust shops are good for things like that.

I nipped in a few more shops trying to get some Christmas present inspiration, but the only idea I came up with was to buy my dad a fancy comb. I’m not sure if he uses a comb, but if I bought him a comb that was fancy enough, he might do. I don’t think I’m going to buy him a comb though.

Sensing that it was time to leave Alfriston, we left Alfriston. I drove out of town a different way to usual, heading south past a vineyard and up and up until we emerged, to my surprise, on the top of the South Downs. It was beautifully sunny and I thought it would be a nice place to stop and have a look and then, happily, a car park appeared. The car park was called High and Over car park, which I thought sounded more like a category on X Factor than a car park, but we stopped and followed some signposts to a viewpoint.

The Cuckmere valley was spread out all below us, with Cuckmere Haven off in the middle distance and the sea glinting in the sun. My daughter gave an appreciative “oooh” from her sling as she looked down at the meandering River Cuckmere. I’m not sure she’s ever been that high up before, but she seemed to like it, which is good news.

After that my daughter was tired, so I headed back to the car. I somehow got chatting to a man in the car park who was walking his dog and he was quite taken with my daughter, which might sound creepy but was actually nice. He liked her name, which is good. Her name is Dory, which is short for Dorothy. However, when the car park man asked her name, I said it was Dorothy, as I could see he wouldn’t understand the name Dory. He was an older man, and whenever older people find out her name is Dory they haven’t heard of the name Dory and so think we’ve said Doreen or just get confused. This has resulted in a policy where it’s safer to say she’s called Dorothy to certain audiences, because they understand it.

Anyway he liked the name and revealed that he had named all his daughters after plants, and then reeled off a list of about six names including Ophelia and Cicely, both of which I have never heard of as plants. It made me think he must be either a really enthusiastic gardener or an idiot. I liked him though, so I don’t want to look up whether Ophelia and Cicely are plants or not.

After that I drove home, with the intention that my daughter would sleep most of the way. Unfortunately, this was not her intention, as it turned out. I started singing 10 Green Bottles, which has got her off to sleep in the past, but to no avail. She got bored of the repetition, I think, so I decided to sing something less repetitive. It’s difficult thinking of songs that you know all the words to, until I remembered that I am in a band and I know all the words to most of our songs.

I started singing one of our songs and, as the band isn’t very active anymore, I hadn’t sung it in a while. I enjoyed singing it though, as it’s a good song and I like it, and I got a bit into it. At the end I checked on my daughter and she was fast asleep. Result. It made me think we could remarket the band as a sleeping aid for babies and make an absolute fortune. There’s about 200 vinyl copies of our album hanging about somewhere that need shifting, so it’s got to be worth a pop.

We got home and had a play with the person I live with and told her all we’d been up to, before the inevitable teatime, bathtime, storytime, bedtime ritual kicked in. I then made sausage, apple, onion and potato for tea, which went down quite well. Then we watched an episode of the new series of Stranger Things. I quite enjoyed the first series, but since then I have seen new episodes of Twin Peaks, and in comparison to that Stranger Things just doesn’t cut it anymore.

After that I had a bowl of yoghurt and honey, which the person I live with stole most of. The theft was something of a surprise, as the person I live with doesn’t like yoghurt and honey. This yoghurt theft episode was stranger than anything in Stranger Things, to be honest. More updates as we get them.

Didn’t go to Waitrose.