#and when I tried to warn my ex-girlfriend about this (bc being the nice girl I was back then I was concerned for her safety)

[realasslesbian]

Having had the same socials accounts since I was a kid can be a trip sometimes. I scroll back a decade and I got tonnes of unsolicited homophobic comments on my posts from people who are now religiously pro-"qu*er" and messages from previous employers about how they found out I was gay via facebook so now I’m fired. Like, the amount of people and businesses that are one repost away from being exposed by my socials is palpable my friends💅

[prettymase]

Meant To Be

NOTES: This fic is completely newly written and I haven’t written in ages but I hope this is good enough. Before you get into it I want you to know that some parts of the fic are quite personal to me and I was contemplating on whether to add or not, but I have included TW warnings. This fic had also been requested by my love @footiehoemcfc I hope you enjoy reading it babe. There will be a part two to this but I wanted to get the first part out first bc I’ve left @footiehoemcfc waiting too long for this 🫶🏼 ✨

WORD COUNT: 4.9k words

TW: mentions of car crash, drunk drivers

You promised yourself that you would never be in this situation.

This is the kind of situation you told your best friends to avoid. It’s basic girl code, telling them not to be stupid in going back to their ex. You know it never ends well. Most of the time anyways.

Most of the time they end up falling for their bullshit and then that causes them hurting even more.

You know right now, you are a dumbass.

Your relationship with Mason ended shortly after Christmas.

It’s bad enough you saw it coming but you didn’t expect it to happen quickly after Christmas as the way he broke up with you, you thought he would want to mend things. Things that haven’t been easy in your relationship the last few weeks. You thought he wanted to apologise for being a dick.

Before the World Cup, you both knew the relationship was falling short. However, you were determined to make it work. No matter how had you tried, you couldn’t afford losing him.

You tried to support him in every way possible. Travelling to Qatar, showing your moral support. You also suggested couples therapy, tried to get him to talk about his feelings he was keeping inside. And everything else that was on the list. Making you feel useless at times.

Mason however, wasn’t having any of it. He liked to feel like he could take care of himself. He knew he was pushing you away and he didn’t want to but this is what it has come to and he can’t stop himself now.

In Qatar, there wasn’t much you could do with him not being able to see everyday with the World Cup consequences. Which you understood. You tried looking at the positives, maybe time apart from you would make him realise how much he misses having you around and helping him out. You thought he would he would take his time to think about how shitty he has been with you the last couple of weeks leading up to the World Cup. To your surprise, it was the complete opposite. Mason came to the conclusion it would be better if the two of you went separate ways.

The night you two broke up, well when he broke up with you, always replayed in your head.

-

“I think we should break up,” Mason started to say, showing no emotion on his face whatsoever.

“What?” you definitely wasn’t expecting this.

He had planned a a nice romantic evening or so you thought. The dinner table was elegantly decorated, with rose petals and candles around the table, with two glasses of wine, which you dismissed because you didn’t feel like drinking.

You thought the best of things, thinking that he’d apologise for his behaviour these last couple of weeks. Instead he did all this to break up with you.

“I want you to know don’t think I don’t love you because I do, it’s just the things that’s happening this season, I can’t love you the same when I’m feeling like shit.”

“You’re having one bad season and you’re throwing me out of your life?!” You asked confusedly and annoyed. “You’ve had problems before but this was never the solution!”

“Y/N you don’t understand. This is my life, I have to try and help and the tea-”

“This is not your life!!” You snapped. “It’s what you do for a living, big difference Mason.”

‘It is now okay?! Everything else seems like a distraction!”

“I’m a distraction? Your girlfriend who has been trying to help you for weeks is a fucking distraction? Are you fucking kidding me?” That hurt. It hurt how little to no appreciation he showed for your effort. The tears that you tried to hold in just fell. Maybe it could’ve been from sadness but now you were just mad.

Mad at him.

“Baby,” he sighed trying to ease the tension. Both of you had arguements before but it was never like this. He’s now thinking of throwing the years you had together, which you thought of convincing him to not to do this but it was useless and once he makes his mind up there’s no going back.

“You have no right to call me that anymore. You’ve clearly made up your mind.” You snapped.

“I’m sorry, okay. I didn’t word that right. But you need to understand me.”

“Understand what? That your job is more important than me and everything else in your life? That all the things I’ve done for you in the past meant nothing? Our relationship was for nothing? And that I mean nothing to you?!” You managed to say In between your sobs that you have been keeping in for too long, and this was your thirteenth reason.

You couldn’t hold it in anymore.

Mason stepped closer to you and tried to hug you which you refused at first, but you always found yourself giving in, in the end. This could be your last hug ever so you wanted to treasure it. Wanted to get close to him. Wanted to smell his aftershave that was lingering on his clothes. Wanted him to run his hands up and down your back for comfort.

All for the last time.

You could feel his tears dropping on your shoulder. This couldn’t have been easy for him too. Although you know he’s doing wrong but you also know the past year hasn’t been the best for him and no matter how much this is hurting you, you also know he’s hurting too. “I’m so sorry, my love. I know you think this is easy to do but i promise you it’s not. I love you so much and if it’s meant to be I’m sure we’ll find our ways back to each other soon.” He pulled away from the hug and held the sides of your face, planting a kiss on your forehead. His lips lingering on your forehead a lot longer than anticipated which relaxed your mind for a second.

“I’m going to go gather my things and go.” You sniffled.

Mason just nodded in response and let you get to it. You go into your shared bedroom, where you gathered most of your things, one thing that made you break down instantly was your scrapbook you made for his 21st birthday. It was his first birthday you celebrated with him and it was special too, so you wanted to make it memorable. You flicked through the book where you come across the first page which was the first picture you took together, him positioned behind you, his head buried in your neck while you looked so happy. The happiest you’ve been in a long while, you forgot what that felt like.

This book was meant to be what you show your future children, but you didn’t get that far ahead. You hesitated in whether to take it or leave it with him. However you decided to take it with you as you felt like he wouldn’t look back at it.

Once you finally got your things together, you looked back at your shared room which was now Mason’s for one last time. The good times you had in there would be looked back at for sure, at least for you anyways.

Mason who was waiting for you to be done was on the sofa, his head in between in his hands. When he saw you were coming out of the room he offered to help with your luggage but you refused.

“You can stay here for a little while once you get sorted out if you want?” Mason mumbled.

“I think it’s too late for that Mase. Thank you though.” You said as you walked to the front door and remembered that his front door key was in your bag which you handed to him. There was a keyring with the photo of the two of you on there. You walked towards the door until you heard Mason speak again.

“Y/n wait a second,” you looked back at him, hoping he would say this is a mistake and he wants to start fresh with you but was that the case? Nope. “Where are you going to go? It’s late. I don’t want you wondering about at this time of night.” He asked genuinely worried for you.

But you couldn’t help but answer coldly as this wasn’t his problem anymore. You weren’t his problem anymore. “You have no right to worry about that anymore. You start your life from scratch and forget what I ever meant to you. If I ever did mean anything to you. Good luck with the future, Mase.” You choked out.

Quickly, you got out of the door but you weren’t sure how much more you could hold your tears in for. Opening the boot to put all of your things in the back before you got into the drivers seat and drove away from his house for the last time.

There was tears streaming down your face the entire journey, luckily you still had your own flat that you didn’t end up getting rid of, but it’s been a while since you been in there so it will be weird at first but you’ll have to get used to it. After all this was your life from now on.

During your journey to your now new (old) home, you looked back on all the positives that your relationship had. For example; when he took you away just because he felt like it that was also when he said ‘I love you’ for the first time and you were wondering what you did to deserve this man. Now you were wondering what you did to deserve the situation he put you in.

‘Where in the relationship did we go wrong?’ You thought. You always thought you made him happy. But clearly not if he felt like he needed to chuck you out of his life like that. You clearly weren’t as important to him as you thought you were.

When you got to your old flat, as soon as you walked through the door, it’s like you were almost looking for a feeling of home come to you. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that it was Mason who made it feel like home. And now you had to live without him.

You had started talking to Mason in the most weird ways ever, you were going through so much at the time so him coming into your life during the most hardest times of your life you would describe it as was truly a blessing in disguise.

Let’s recap to that day..

-

It was one of those days.

One where you felt like God was never on your side, trying to understand what you did to deserve the last few days of chaos you’ve had.

Eyes closed. Trying to remain calm, steadying your mind and the pace of your breathing.

It had been a long day. You had just come back from the hospital 45 mins ago. No that wasn't your job, your mum had been admitted to hospital after having a traumatic car crash as you'd call it.

On Saturday night she was on the way back from dinner with her friends, until a drunk driver crashed into her and she remained unconscious up until Tuesday morning for a few minutes and remained unconscious again.

When you first got a call from the hospital your first instant reaction was shock and denial because as far as you'd known your mum was all about being a safe driver and she was always scolding you to drive safe. It hadn't settled in until you had seen her. All your emotions started crashing down at once.

You felt a bit helpless and guilty by not being able to do anything to help her, and you were losing hope slowly but deep inside you, you knew your mum will power through this, she's a strong woman after all. After having to raise 6 children when your father left you at a young age deciding that he wanted nothing to do with you, if she could go through that alone, you had hope that she'd get through this.

You couldn't help but feel alone. All your siblings were in their own little bubble and you didn't want to disturb them and you know that they wouldn't care because all of you were all so close but you couldn't help feel like you were burdening them.

All of you were equally upset, each one of them had their own distraction to help not think about this, but you had taken days off to visit your mum during hospital hours and just pour you heart out even though she hadn't had her eyes open you knew she could hear you.

Days prior to this, you had been struggling with your emotions already.

You had given your notice in for work because the environment was becoming so toxic and this guy at work would non stop harassing you until you couldn't take it anymore, mentally it was taking a toll on your mental health. Your ex had gotten back into contact with you repeatedly changing numbers, making different social media accounts to contact you, after numerously blocking him.

Overall you felt like crap, you didn't want to tell your friends about this because you felt like you were asking for sympathy when you didn't want that and you felt like they were all happy within their lives and you didn't want to burst that with your sad feelings.

So you just put a fake smile on your face which was believable to people, and when you were alone tears wouldn't stop flowing.

You hated yourself for not being strong enough.

The peace and quietness lasted about 2 minutes before a message came through your phone. You instantly thought it was someone from the hospital updating you about your mum but this message had confused you even further

Anna?

You most definitely weren't Anna and you most certainly didn't have a date today.

(Imagine you can see the face. Thank you😌)

It was like an addiction messaging each other, you just couldn’t stop. It was flirty banter most of time, he arranged for you to first meet him at a small cafè because he was eager to see you, and this meeting made you feel something for him, even more than you did.

The next meeting you decided to count it as a date, and ever since then you didn’t look back.

He was seriously a blessing in disguise. Your mum was getting better, you got a new job and you couldn’t be more happier that everything finally was starting to fall into place.

-

Over the months since your breakup you tried to forgive and forget; Forgive because he genuinely did have a lot going on and you also knew his passion for football and maybe you just need to find your way back to each other once the time is right. Forgetting about him and what he meant to you was the hardest thing to do.

It’s been five months now since your breakup and not a day goes by without thinking about him. You just had to remind yourself that he’s probably not thinking about you anymore and he’s probably moved on and as much you wanted him to tell you that he wanted you back probably wasn’t the case. Which hurt you deeply thinking about it but if that’s what helps you to move on then so be it.

The first month was incredibly difficult for you, wanting to text him every hour of the day to try and work things out, even though he ended it you wanted him to fight for you, you once thought you meant the whole world to him, and now acted like you were strangers.

His friends had found out about the break up and checked in on you to see how you were doing. They didn’t see it coming, especially Ben, he thought he was head over heels for you and he was always going on about how perfect his relationship is. Ben insisted on talking some sense into him but you refused, not wanting to force his way back to you, you’d much rather him come back to you when he was ready.

Whenever that was.

At this point you were starting to think that it would only happen in your dreams.

You felt a like crap and thought you were being over dramatic, thinking that Mason’s probably isn’t doing the same and moping over this, so over the next two months you tried pushing him out of your mind and start focusing on your mental health and yourself, getting your self love back.

Saffie, Libby and Imogen, who had been your support system since helped you through it and you couldn’t be more grateful. They also were shocked about the break up but as of right now you didn’t care. You had come to terms with that it wasn’t meant to be and you tried convincing yourself that you were fine with it.

When you moved in with Mason, it was difficult to see them, as they lived out of town and at the time things were just getting hectic that you didn’t have the time, even though you hadn’t seen each other for a while you had still kept each other updated on every little detail.

Tonight, you were going on a night out with your girls. It had been a while since you had a girls night and you couldn’t wait because you had missed your girls.

“Cheers!! I want to make a toast to Y/N. I want you to know that you’re the most strongest person I know and you don’t need no mannn that makes you feel like shit!!” Libby screamed through the loud music that was playing at the club, and you all took a sip of your cocktails. You promised to yourself and the girls that wouldn’t cry tonight and so far you were failing but you decided to blink the tears away and have the time of your life with your besties. It’s the least you deserved.

-

You don’t know how you got here but you’re not complaining.

You barely make it inside the house. As soon as you both are nside, you’re kissing, making out against the front door. Pushing him back, desperately wanting more, trying to suck every last drop out of the love that is still left.

You’ve missed him. Missed him so much.

“We shouldn’t do this,” Mason pants, pulling away, framing your face with his hands, and you nod.

“No, but it feels good, doesn’t it?” You say with a grin, that’s all your willpower gone out of the window.

Mason grins at you. Just like he used to; it’s just like it used to be.

“Fuck yes. Let’s go upstairs.”

You knows this will only hurt you in the morning but you can’t resist, you’ve missed him, missed how he feels, how he tastes. And all that matters right now is that your legs are wrapped around Mason’s waist and the way he groans when you push yourself into him.

Fuck, it feels good.

It’s not a long, drawn out fuck, no changing positions, no words. It’s not hasty either, but it’s desperate, both of them fighting for the perfect angle, chasing their release, needing it.

Still, it’s loving. The way Mason’s hand is in the exact right spot on your back, the way they kiss, breathlessly moaning into each others mouths. And the way they lock eyes, reading each other’s faces.

They’ve done this many times - spent so many nights entangled, making each other moan and pleasuring themselves. They know this, every part of it is familiar.

It happens too quickly, but you wouldn’t have the strength to prolong it anyways. It’s too much, there is not a single clear thought in your head as you kiss Mason through his climax.

“It will hurt more tomorrow,” Mason whispers when you pull him closer under the blanket. You know he’s not just talking about you aching. His tone is soft, laced with a shadow of a sorry, his hand gently stroking your arm, the gesture putting you to sleep.

-

When you woke up it was around four AM you weren’t surprised to find yourself sleeping next to someone but you couldn’t pinpoint on who it was as you were too drunk and didn’t remember a single thing about your one night stand as you rarely have them, silently cursing yourself for drinking too much.

This room seemed familiar to you though, you don’t know if your mind was playing tricks on you or if it was actually familiar to you. That was until the person next to you turned to face you, still asleep and you were met with none other than Mason.

You shot up at the exact second, accidentally waking up Mason doing so. “Y/N, what’s wrong? Let’s get back to sleep yeah?” Mason says in a sleepy voice but you were still in a state of shock of how this happened, you were about to reply until you turned around to face him to see him asleep again.

How did you let this happen.

You went downstairs to compose yourself with a glass of water and watched your reflection on his window.

‘You stupid idiot. Why did you do this to yourself?’ You thought. The more you thought about everything that had happened last night, how much you missed him touching you, kissing you, tears were forming because it just wasn’t fair that he was making you feel like this.

In the middle of your thoughts, Mason entered the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his face in your neck, kissing it repeatedly. “Baby, why are you here? It’s 4am,” he whispered in your ear. You were just staring blankly outside at his patio, tears threatening to fall. Your lip started wobbling.

How could you be so dumb? He starts seducing you whilst drunk and it worked so easily he had you right where he wanted. You were never that girl to have one night stands, but this one felt like one because you knew what Mason’s decision was.

“Listen, you were drunk. We both had a little too much to drink. I saw you in the club alone, I don’t know where your friends were and you looked like you had a little too much to drink. I offered to take you home but you mentioned you left your keys with Imogen because you know how clumsy you can be and lose them. So I took you back to mine and I don’t know how it happened but there was sexual tension in the air and we both started kissing and one thing led to another, but I want you to know it doesn’t mean anything to me.” Mason said so confidently.

You needed a moment to hear the last sentence alone, but you wanted him to think that were coping well without him because he had moved on and somehow you needed to do the same, but after last night it’s become hard again. It’s like having sex with him has brought your feelings back again but it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t feel the same about you anymore, even though when you broke up he told you that he’ll always love you. You guessed that was lie.

You wanted it to mean something to him, you wanted him to ask for you back. You wanted him to fight for you.

Which will only happen in your dreams by the looks of it.

You wondered if he ever loved you? Now you just believed what your negative thoughts were telling you.

“I’m going to get my stuff and leave,” you said with a lump in your throat and glossy eyes.

Mason saw the expression on your face and was the sick of the sad expression you had on your face and he snapped, “Okay. Don’t expect me to stop you then. I have moved on.”

It’s like this was a different man in front of you, you don’t remember getting to know this guy, you don’t remember falling in love with him. The Mason you remember falling in love with wouldn’t let you go without a fight. You weren’t going to let him treat you like this so you snapped back. “Yeah because you sleeping with me last night really tells me that you’ve moved on doesn’t it?” You rolled your eyes.

“It was a mistake! I told you, I was drunk, you were drunk, one thing led to another and it’s a regret of mine now letting you think that you’ll ever get close to me again. Maybe, just maybe if you weren’t so needy all the damn time we could’ve given this a second chance.” Mason frustratedly said, with what he said, sounded like you hurt him, when he was the one to break up with you. It just didn’t make any sense to you.

You wished he hadn’t pushed you away. You pushed past Mason to get your things, not wanting to stay here a minute longer.

Mason stayed quiet, knowing what he said was wrong but in the heat of the moment it just came out. Once you came out of his room and got your things ready, you walked out his front door whilst he watched you leave.

-

It had been two nights since that night you encounter with Mason, you started thinking outside of box and tried moving on as he had, it was lot harder than you thought it would be. Maybe because the Mason you saw two nights ago was a completely different person in front of you.

Maybe if you went on a few dates it would help? You thought.

You never did see yourself separating from Mason, but that’s how things currently were and you had to accept that. You decided to scroll on Twitter for bit and what first came up on suggested posts surprised you a little because you weren’t expecting that when you opened the app.

To say you were more than hurt to see how he’s moved on quickly, but also you were convinced that the paparazzi make things worse from what they were. You experienced it when you were with Mason, so part of you were hoping that this girl pictured with him was just a friend but looking at the picture it was telling you something else.

You know it has been more than a few months that you’ve broken up now but a part of you wasn’t ready to let go. But you always promised yourself that if you saw Mason happy with another person you would be happy for him no matter how much it hurt you inside and you weren’t going to ruin his happiness.

That’s if this article was true.

Now you needed to move on because it seemed like Mason wasn’t going to come back to you by the looks of things and you need to accept that.

-

Mason didn’t know how to feel when the paparazzi photos came out, first of all the pictures were completely misleading to what they actually were.

He wasn’t on a date.

The only thing he was doing was playing Cupid, and setting this girl up with his mate, Ben. When Mason spotted Y/N on a night out with her friends, he was with Ben and a few of his other friends. This girl caught Ben’s attention but he was too much of a scaredy cat to go up to her. He thought he missed his chance.

That was until, the girl, Chloe, reached out to Mason on DMs and asked if they could meet to talk things through. He knew Ben wouldn’t dare to ask her outright, so they planned to call it a ‘blind date’ because Chloe actually had her eyes on Ben and it turns out that when she was about to go up to him that night he had disappeared, she couldn’t find him but she also knew Mason was good friends with Ben so she’s shooting her shot the long way.

Mason still deeply loved Y/N, he only said he moved on because he wanted Y/N think he’s doing okay without her. He really doesn’t know why he started pushing her away, and he regrets it because all he wanted know is Y/N between his arms. He would do everything for their relationship to be normal again, but instead he had to fuck it up.

Mason won’t be stupid enough to lose you again at any given chance. He was already stupid enough to know what life was like without you and he’s not risking that again.

He knew he needed to fix this.

—

taglist: @chilwellspulisic

[rinrinx2]

hihi could i possibly req ran or hanma (up to you) x reader where is friends w boten n one night while they're all drinking n he always tries to get with her (reader) but she had always turned him down but this night she finally says yes bc she left her emotionally abusive bf for him

maybe the other boten boys hear or walk in n are shocked she finally said yes lol

if youre not comfy writing this no worries!

I hope you like it 💕💕💕, Also i apologize in advance for the use of the phrase city girls be up

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Finally a yes

Hanma x Reader

Warnings: smut, innapropriate language, mature themes, bets being made without your knowledge, Hanma

--------------------------------------

Suzuki Takumi, your once boyfriend, and now ex-boyfriend had broken up with you earlier that week. After what felt like months of arguing back and forth was finally over. You had met Takumi in your youth, and had been together since high school, but once started off as two high school sweethearts quickly turned sour. Takumi was possessive and demanding, you were expected to make Takumi your world, place him on a pedestal above others, but when it came to you, you were just another girl in his books.

But even with his neglectful treatment you still stood beside him, being the good girlfriend. No matter what man approached you, you would stay clear of them, even when the man who you had a crush on since you were in middle school asked you out during a Bonten gathering, Shuji Hanma.

Hanma wasn’t a formal member of Bonten, but he did work as their undesignated hitman; the only reason you knew such information was because you worked as Bonten’s supplier assistant, whatever the men of Bonten needed you provided no matter how dangerous or weird the items were.

So, Hanma’s appearance at Bonten meetings and gatherings become a regular, you’d see each other more and more and at every sighting of you he would offer to create an evening of magic which you politely declined out of respect of your boyfriend.

The custom of Hanma asking you out at every Bonten gathering became such a norm that the other men began to place bets whether you would finally say yes or if you’d decline him.

So, now at the monthly gathering you sat alone at the bar, not really mopping your breakup but more so celebrating it. You were finally free of the burden of a man named Takumi and he even sparred you the guilt of having to break up with him, as he left you for some poor girl who probably bought just you once did.

You were basking in your newfound independence unaware of who was about to approach you. Silently like a predator stalking his prey Hanma approached you.

“Good evening (Y/N)” Hanma said as he sat beside you on the open bar stool.

“Evening Shuji” you said with massive smile on your face.

“You must be getting really wasted if you’re greeting me with such enthusiasm” Hanma teased you, with some truth in his words as you never sounded that excited to see him and would usually address him on his last name, but still Hanma was not about to deter your good mood.

“Oh common, you have such a nice name” you said gently pushing his shoulder as you giggled.

You had been so long out of the game that you were unsure if you were flirting correctly, but from Hanma’s reaction you could tell that your flirtatious tone was going well. But all the way on the other side of the room unaware to both you and Hanma bets were being made as per usual.

--------------------------------------------

“I bet 1000 yen she’s going to say yes” Ran said as he placed his money on the glass table, he sat at with the rest of Bonten.

“I bet 1500 yen (Y/N) will say no as usual” Sanzu said placing his money his money above Ran’s.

“I’m with my brother on this one” Rindou said placing a 1000-yen wad on the table.

“How sure are you on that?” Kakucho asked.

“Look at her body language, she’s leaning into him, placing her hand on his thigh, she’s laughing at all his stupid jokes. Clear sign shell says yes” Rindou explained.

“I still say she won’t doesn’t seem in her nature to just change so suddenly” Kakucho said as he placed his 1000 yen on the table.

“She’s going to fold” Takeomi said as he continued smoking his cigarette.

“Oh really” Mikey said looking at the older male.

“Yes, she will. Take it from a man with experience” Takeomi replied.

“Okay hot shot put your money where your mouth is” Mikey said as he reached into his pocket placing 2000 yen on the table and Takeomi reached into his trouser pocket pulling out the same amount and placing it on the table.

“Okay all bets are in. Now we wait” Koko said as he reached for all the money on the table as he began to carefully organize it.

----------------------------------------

“So, you’re a single girl now” Hanma said with raised eyebrows and a smirk on his face.

“Single and free” you said raising your glass, as you had just finished your explanation on what had occurred between you and your ex-boyfriend.

“Yes, city girls be up” Hanma said as he clanked his glass against yours.

You laughed at Hanma’s response. He really was just as nice as he seemed, he listened inventively and gave advice that came from the heart but still with a sense of logic to it.  He was funny, tall, handsome, and seemed to be a true gentleman.

You only hoped that he would catch onto your interests in him, and you prayed that he would ask you out as he usually did as you already had your answer ready for him.

“You’re single, I’m single so why-”

“Yes” you said hastily not even allowing Hanma to finish his sentence.

You quickly realized how your urgency could be perceived, as well as how disrespectful it may seem to have cut him off before he finished his sentence.

“Sorry, but yes I would love to go out with you” you said more calmly this time.

“Great, shall we get started now” Hanma said as he extended his arm for you to take.

You hooked your arm into his and walked beside him as the two of you left the hotel ballroom that the Bonten gathering was being held.

You and Hanma didn’t venture far, as the two of you ended up going to the room you would be staying at for the evening at the hotel.

Hanma was a gentleman, he sat at an arm’s length distance from you, and he never made any suggestive jokes or comments rather keeping the conversation about you. But still you couldn’t help the need growing between your legs, as you could feel the slick form between your thighs, you couldn’t help it the way Hanma’s shirt fit on him allowed you to make out the outline of his firm and defined body.

You tried you best to pay attention to what he said, biting your lip in concentration.

“Are you okay (Y/N)?” he asked, with worry now on his features.

“Oh I’m fine, its just” you said as your words became more quieter.

“Just what?” he asked as he kept his gaze on you.

“I like you a lot Hanma, and I don’t want you thinking of this as just some rebound. Ive really liked you since middle school and -” but before you could finish your sentence Hanma’s soft warm lips was on yours.

And it took you a second before you kissed him back.

“I’ve liked you since middle school too, (Y/N)” Hanma said as he slightly pulled back from your lips, only to go back and kiss you more passionately this time.

Hanma slipped his tongue into your mouth, gliding his wet muscle over yours feeling as you moaned into his mouth. Hanma carefully pushed onto the bed; Hanma pulled back for a second removing his shirt.

You watched in awe, as he took his shirt off, his body was sledner yet so defined, which had you leaking out. Once Hanma had fully removed his shirt, he went back to kissing you. You wrapped your legs around his waist causing your dress to ride up, Hanma began to grinf into you clothed arousal. His hard cock now brushing up against your clothed clit making you moan out loudly at the tingles of pleasure.

“You want me to fuck you?” Hanma said pulling back grabbing your cheeks gently.

So enamoured by his commanding aura that you simply nodded up and down as a way to say yes.

“Good girl” Hanma said as he moved up unbuckling his belt and pulling it slightly down so that his hard cock could come out.

When you saw Hanma’s cock your pussy began to clench around nothing. His cock was massive, a long shaft with a thick head, girthy all the way around and the slit was shining from the leaking pre-cum that dripped down his shaft.

Hanma grabbed your legs that once hugged his waist to bring you closer, he slightly raised your body so that he could lift the dress from your body. You were amazed at his strength to remove a dress so easily from your body, so amazed that you hadn’t even noticed that Hanma had removed your bra, only when the cool evening breeze caused your nipples to pebble had you realized the lack of a bra.

Hanma didn’t say anything as he looked down at your body, rather a smirk was placed on his lips before he pulled your panties down. Hanma watched as a string of slick pulled down along with your panties, a sign indicating to him of how wet you were for him which only made him harder.

Without any warning Hanma plunged his massive cock into your pussy, the sensation of being filled all the way up to your cervix with Hanma’s cock was making your pussy clench unbearable tight.

“Shit” Hanma moaned softly at the tightening of your busy. Hanma remained still inside your busy allowing you to adjust to his massive size,, until he felt you roll your hips undeaneath his.

The moment Hanma felt some movement from you he began to thrust into your pussy, hard deep thrusts that caused his balls to slap against your ass.

The feeling of Hanma's cock being dragged against your pussy walls was causing your pussy to flutter. You pussy was devoring his cock as you savoured the feeling of his cock being oulle din and out of your walls as his top pushed against the spot in your pussy that made you scream his name over and over.

“Your pussy is so good” Hanma said as he shoved his dick to the deepest part of your pussy while you helpelessy grabbed ta his shoulder.

“Can I cum in you or on your puffy pussy folds” Hanma said with that teasing tone that made you clench harder around him.

“On my pussy” you moaned out as Hanma now began to fuck you faster, shoving his dick back and forth inside you, causing the pressure in yout tummy to build fast.

Hanma couldn’t last much longer inside your walls, feeling as his balls were ready to release itself all over your pussy. So, Hanma began to fuck like a rabbit in heat.

You were close, the feeling of Hanma’s cock was becoming to much fast. Hanma could tell you were about to cum from the way your pussy began to milk him.

“You gonna cum pretty girl?”

“Ye-ss” you cried out, causing Hanma to remove his cock from your pussy as he began to rub your clit back and forth.

Your pussy ached to have Hanma back inside but the way he was rubbing your clit with lubed fingers was quickly making you forgte the sensation of his cock, as you were now overhwlmed with pleasure, until finally the pressure in your pussy became to much and you came hard. You pussy clenched down hard around nothing as you squirted out onto the bed beneath you. Hanma continued playing with your clit as he grabbed his cock with his other hand and gave it a few rough strokes before he came all over your pussy.

You and Hanma remained still for a moment until you had caught your breath, when you looked down between your legs you saw that it was covered in white liquid just as Hanma had promised.

“Told you I would” Hanma said with a laugh as he stood up grabbing a towel to clean the mess he had made between your legs.

------------------------------------------------------------

Sanzu was walking around the hotel, half drunk looking for an ice machine for some unknown reason. He wobbled about the corridors until he heard a thumping noise.

“That must be the ice machine” Sanzu hiccupped out as he stumbled to where the sound came from without a second to waste Sanzu opened the door to find you with your legs bent to your head with Hanma balls deep inside you for what was the third time that night.

You quickly covered your breast with your arms, but Hanma remained in the same positions, which caused a slight blush to form on your cheeks.

“Get the fuck out Sanzu, I’m doing my girl”

Sanzu turned his head slightly to the right as he began to scream out of the door.

“RaN yOu FucKinG HaITani YoU WoN. ThEy FucKed … anD I THinK TheY’Re DaTinG NoW. CongrUlatIonS”

.

.

.

All rights reserved to @rinrinx2

[wandaromanova]

okay so after reading your most recent fic i got an idea. nat and r have a pretty big age gap. one day nats ex bumps into them and starts telling nat that her standards in girls have lowered. then ex proceeds to say that nat probably just pitied r and thats why shes dating r. and ex goes on talking about how r is probably dating nat cause shes bw needs "protecting", not knowing r is an avenger and tells nat to leave her(r) and go back to her(the ex) instead bc shes more "fun and experienced"

Epitome

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, sexual suggestion

A/N: hello! thank you for your request! i hope you like this! also, i’d like to note that i love Carol, i said the things i did about her for the sake of the fic! <3

Summary: Natasha and Y/N bump into Nat’s ex lover. Things go exactly as you’d expect.

Word Count: 1.1K | masterlist

(gif is not mine)

You were a 24 year old college student. You didn’t come from a wealthy family, but you had nice things as a child. Your parents gave you the best life they could with the little income they received, and you were extremely grateful for that.

So, it took a lot of adapting and getting used to when you began to date your girlfriend; Natasha Romanoff. She lived a rather extravagant lifestyle, with her being an Avenger and all. You were an Avenger and had money of your own, but you didn’t spend it lavishly like Nat did. She spent absurd amounts of money without batting an eye. While you saved your money in the bank.

Nat was 12 years older than you. Yeah, she was 36 and you were 24. The age difference between you two wasn’t one that made Natasha look like a predator or anything like that, but it did raise a few eyebrows at times. No one had ever approached the two of you and discussed your seemingly major age difference in a negative light, until one day.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

You and Natasha were out and about. You guys had decided to go shopping and you were having a great time. Natasha had bought you a ton of clothes, much to your dismay. Although, the clothes were more for her than you. She bought you some lingerie that she thought would look better on the bedroom floor than on your body.

Anyway, as you guys walked through the busy and crowded mall, you were suddenly stopped by a tall blonde.

“Natasha? Is that you?” The blonde stopped in front of the pair of you. Nat let go of your hand as shock crossed her face. “Carol! How’re you doing?” You watched as Nat hugged the girl who’s name you now knew was Carol.

You stared at Carol curiously before your eyes widened in surprise. You recalled who Carol was. She and Natasha had dated for some time. They dated before you and Nat. And from what your girlfriend had told you, they were serious for quite some time.

“I’m doing good. How’re you?” Carol smiled enthusiastically at your girlfriend which made you shift uncomfortably. “I’m doing good as well. This is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, this is Carol.” Nat introduced the two of you as she reconnected her hand with your own.

“Nice to meet you.” You plastered a fake smile on your face as the blonde stared at you. “Oh? Girlfriend? Aren’t you a little young?” Carol asked and you were taken aback by her bluntness.

“Um yeah, I’m 24.” You tensed as you tried your best to not show your annoyance. Natasha gripped your hand tighter in an attempt to calm you.

“Yeah, shes younger than I am, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be together.” Natasha spoke as she eyed Carol up in down in a defensive manner.

“Oh of course! It’s just.. I didn’t think you’d lower your standards this much, is all. I know you like more.. fun and experienced people.” Carol’s passive aggressiveness pissed you off and you wanted nothing more than to deck her in her smug face.

“Lowered my standards? Just because she’s younger doesn’t mean that she’s any less capable than someone older.” Natasha grew angry as she threw Carol a sharp glare.

Carol raised her hands in defense. “Of course not! It’s just… don’t you get tired of having to protect her? I’m sure she’s a defenseless little thing.” You genuinely couldn’t believe the audacity of this bitch.

You decided this was the time to step in and defend yourself. “I’m perfectly capable of protecting myself. You know, also being an Avenger and all.” You had to hold back a pleased smile as Carol’s cocky smirk fell.

Carol’s smirk came back to her face as quickly as it left. “Well, Natasha, if you ever get tired of your little charity case, you know where to find me. You can come back to me anytime.” That was it. You have had enough of this conversation.

You jumped at Carol, but Natasha quickly caught you and held your struggling form in her arms. People stared at you as they passed by. Carol jumped back in surprise, the smile never falling from her face.

“You want a charity case? I’ll put you in a fucking full body cast and you’d be the real pity party.” You let out angrily as Natasha’s arms tightened around you.

“Carol. Don’t you dare think you can disrespect my relationship and my girlfriend then expect me to ever want to go back to you. I love Y/N, the age difference doesn’t matter.” Natasha spoke as you calmed down in her arms.

Nat slowly let you go, her guard was still up in case you decided to pounce at the blonde woman again. You returned to Nat’s side as she placed her arm firmly around your waist to keep you close to her.

“Y/N may be younger, but she’s more mature than you’ll ever be.” As the words left Natasha’s mouth, she dragged you away from the blonde who stood there dumbfounded. You let out a laugh. HAH, that bitch really thought she did something.

You and Nat made your way out of the mall and towards her car. “Thank you for sticking up for me, Natty.” You smiled at your girlfriend as she opened the passenger door for you.

“You never need to thank me for that, detka (baby). I’d always defend you.” Nat smiled down at you before she placed a soft kiss onto your lips and closed the door after you sat down. Nat made her way around the front of the car as you watched her through the windshield.

As Nat settled into the driver’s seat and turned the car on, she turned her head to face you. “Now, let’s get home so you can try out the lingerie I bought you.” She sent you her famous smirk that made your heart beat faster every time she directed it towards you.

“Only if I put it on, and you take it off.” You smiled innocently at your girlfriend as her eyes darkened with lust. “That could be arranged.”

And with that, Nat drove off quickly, desperate to get home. You let out a laugh as Nat drove like a maniac. Your age difference didn’t matter. How old you were didn’t mean your love for Natasha wasn’t real. Age didn’t dictate your feelings. You’d never been more sure of your love for another person in your life. In your eyes, your relationship with Natasha was the most pure, love-filled one to ever exist. Fuck Romeo and Juliet, you and Natasha were the epitome of love. No number could ever convince you otherwise.

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[hiiraya]

loving you had consequences (rewrite)

masterlist

pairing: wanda maximoff x reader

words: ~1,586

warnings: angst, reminiscing

requested: inspired by a text post i saw on here a while back!

a/n: this had no plot, but i was listening to sad music while writing so that's where the angst came from, happy reading! any mistakes are my own (bc i'm too lazy to edit hehe) ♡

It starts with, hey Y/N, can I talk to you for a second?

Then, I promise it'll be quick.

And finally, please?

You wanted to say no. You wanted to turn around and pretend you didn't hear her, hole yourself up in your room until she leaves. Again.

You knew that she knew that you would rather be anywhere else than go with her, but Natasha was watching the two of you like a hawk, so you grit your teeth and nod.

The assassin nodded, content that you weren't going to run away, she gave the younger woman a pointed look before turning to face you once more.

"I'll leave you two be."

You only nod in return, wrapping your arms around your midsection as you finally faced your ex-girlfriend.

You decide to play nice, because she made the effort to corner you while you where with Natasha, knowing fully well that the older woman wouldn't let you leave without hearing her out.

She had tenacity, you had to admit.

“What did you want to talk about, Wanda?”

It seemed like all the bravado Wanda had earlier had disappeared as soon as it was just the two of you left in the room. You tried to meet her eyes, but the younger woman was bent on maintaining eye contact with the floor.

But still, you waited for her to speak up.

“About what happened, I’m--“

“Listen Wanda," You cut her off, tearing your gaze off of her to stare at the door behind her. "If that’s all you wanted to talk about, I’d rather not waste either of our time.”

“Please, Y/N, I just want to make things ri--“

You took pride in the fact that you could keep your emotions in check in a stressful situation. It came in handy whenever you were out on a mission; but right now you'd take a life-or-death situation over taking about the past.

Emotions is what brought you here in the first place.

You let your emotions get the best of you and now you search for her in the places you used to share, knowing damn well that she would never be there with you ever again.

You wouldn't let her break your heart a second time.

“Do you remember the first time you kissed me?”

You cut her off again, the abruptness of your words shocking her enough to lift her head to meet your gaze.

The intensity of her stare almost makes you back down, but you don't allow yourself to waver.

“O-of course I do." She answers, confused at the change in topic, but allowing it anyway. "What does that have to do with anything?”

You run your thumb along your knuckles, the action helping calm down your heart rate (which at this point, was racing like you'd just ran a marathon) a little.

"The first time you kissed me you told me after that you'd wanted to do that for a while."

The room is so quiet around the both of you that you can hear Wanda's breath hitch from where she stands.

You take a moment to pause and watch her, taking in the sight and letting it sink in that she was back from her travels.

This was the girl you fell in love with. The girl you spend so many countless nights with - talking to each other, kissing each other, loving each other - simply because you could.

The girl you were so sure that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

But life had different plans for you, and now the dreams you once shared with her were tucked away in the back of your mind, for you to open on a rainy day when missing her became too much.

"I always wondered if you thought the same thing when you left me.”

You see her face drop when your words sink in, but you've already spent so many nights thinking about how true your words must be since she was so unaffected when she left.

You're already indifferent to it.

-

She knows how much she hurt you when she up and left with Vision - though the only reason she found out was because Clint accidentally let it slip when she had called to let him know where she was.

She thought you were fine.

You didn’t fight her when she told you she’d fallen for the android. You didn't yell, didn't even make a scene.

You didn't ask her why she chose him, why she was so quick to drop you and to things you planned on doing with her.

You just nodded your head, a sad look in your eyes that she never wanted to see in them ever again before giving her a final kiss on the forehead before telling her that you would have your stuff out of her room by the end of the week.

Looking back in hindsight, Wanda didn’t know whether to be grateful or angry that you let her go without putting up a fight.

You loved her didn’t you?

But you were there, standing in an oversized sweatshirt with a smile that didn't reach your eyes, waving goodbye to the new couple goodbye before they left for a holiday they were taking now that the world wasn’t in imminent danger.

It didn't take very long for Wanda to start feeling the threads of regret creeping up to her.

-

You knew something happened when Vision came back alone.

He looked directly at you when he told the team that Wanda decided to travel around on her own for a little longer.

You had your questions but didn’t pry him for more answers.

You could infer.

-

After Vision had gone back home, and she was finally alone, Wanda took the time to see the sights on her own.

The sunsets in Paris  were beautiful, especially when viewed from the Eiffel tower.

The busy streets of London keeping her busy and moving (though she'd never felt more alone while seeing the sights that the city had to offer).

The bright sun in Athens shined down on her, wrapping around her like a hug after a long day.

All the places she’d promise to visit with you.  

But there was no one there to hold her hand, no one to fall asleep next to, no one there to stop and admire the sights the world had to offer.

All these beautiful places, but something- someone was inherently missing from her side.

So, after being away for so many months, she decided to come home.

She wanted to apologise, to make things right and hopefully, get you back.

But you thought she was only here to get closure.

-

"I'm not saying all of this to make you feel guilty," You sighed.

"Because it hurt,  more than I thought it would. But I'm still here, and my world didn't end just because you left me. I learned that I didn't need you to survive, that I could do just fine on my own.

"I needed to learn to love myself and be happy being on my own.”

She knows that you’re having a tough time getting the words out. But she knows that you needed to say them and that she needed to hear them, even thought it was breaking her heart all over again.

You’d learnt to live without her and survive without her.

And she learned that she couldn't live without you.

"Don't get me wrong though, I would choose having you over losing you.” You say with a sad smile. ”But we don't always get what we want."

Wanda doesn’t mean to peak inside your head, but when your thoughts were practically screaming at her, her curiosity won over the logical side of her that told her peaking into your head would only hurt her more.

"Will you still love me in the morning?"

You asked her one night, already slipping into the clutches of unconsciousness, voice just loud enough for Wanda to hear.

She hums as she runs her fingers through your hair, smiling when you nuzzle deeper into her neck.

You were her warmth, someone she wanted by her side until the end of forever. Nothing would ever make her want to leave. She was already where she needed to be.

Of course she would still love you in the morning.

"And every morning after."

Shaking your head, she watches as you clear your throat, blinking away the scene playing in your mind, bringing Wanda back to reality with you.

“I’m just rambling now, it’s fine, it’s over, we’ve both moved on. There's nothing for you to apologise for.”

You look down for a moment, and she figures it's you taking a moment to gather yourself. When you finally lift your head up to look at her, there's a small (but still warm nonetheless) smile on your face.

“Let’s just forget this talk ever happened, okay?”

She wants to say more- she needs to say more to you, because the more you keep on talking, the deeper her heart sinks knowing that you're letting her back into your heart so easily this time. If ever.  

You’re ready to forget everything that’s happened between you two - while she’s just barely even scraped the surface of unpacking all the baggage she left when she left you.

“If there’s anything you need just let me know but other than that,” You exhale.

“Welcome back home, Wanda.”

[tomspancakes]

This Way: Part 1

*not my photo*

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress! reader

Word Count: 1298

Warnings: awkward situation lol

Summary: You and Tom are exes, but you need a place to stay at while you film in London and Harry is your best friend. Things get more complicated when a pandemic starts.

A/n: I’ve been thinking about writing this for so long, but like I LITERALLY HAVEN’T WRITTEN ANYTHING SINCE MIDDLE SCHOOL LOL and also I feel bad for writing this bc I have a bf (is this wrong? haha). Anyways I decided to write this bc Stuck With U came out and I was like ok yes I’ll do it now. I kinda have this story planned out and already have other parts written, so please let me know if you like it or give me feedback on my writing!

*Italics = flashbacks

*Two weeks before lockdown*

You rolled your luggage toward the exit of the airport looking for your best friend, Harry. You weren’t nervous when you were on the plane, but as soon as the cold London air hit your face you began to think this was all a bad idea. You tried to convince yourself that filming would keep you away from Tom. You were pulled away from your thoughts when a deep British voice rang through your ears,

“Y/n! Over here!” You looked over and smiled to see Harry standing by the side of the car. He ran up to you engulfing you in a tight hug swaying you both slowly.

“I’ve missed seeing my best friend in person.” You hummed smiling up at him when you parted he took both of your luggage to the car.

“I’m so glad you’re staying with us while you film here.” Harry stated as he pulled your luggage into the trunk. 

“Ya me too, it was so hard to find a place to rent near the set.” You sighed putting in your other luggage into the trunk. “But are you sure it’s ok with Tom that I’m staying here? I haven’t talked to him in ages. If it’s not ok I can-”

“Y/n, chill mate. It was actually his idea.” He said and your breath hitched. 

“Bitch what?”

He laughed, “No seriously it was! He was asking how you were doing two weeks ago and I mentioned that you were filming about 30 minutes away from our house and that you couldn’t find a place to rent and he was like ‘oh why doesn’t she stay here then?’ and I was like uhhh alright. So then I texted you!” He said it as if you and Tom didn’t have a past. Your cheeks heated up and you got in the car remembering how things started going wrong with Tom.

~

“Tom I can’t believe you said that! I told you to keep us on the DL for now.” You said irritated.

“Y/n, please there’s literally no way that anyone knows we’re dating. Plus he was hitting on you, he can’t do that because you’re my girlfriend.”

“He can do that actually because nobody knows I’m your girlfriend except our castmates and family.” 

Tom rolled his eyes, “Ok then why didn’t you do anything about it? Why’d you let him continue to flirt with you? Do you not want to be my girlfriend or something?”

You scoffed, “Oh please, Tom are you kidding me? You let so many fans and random girls flirt with you and I’ve stayed quiet about it, but when one person flirts with me it’s a fucking sin!”

Tom looked at you sternly, “You didn’t answer my question about not wanting to be my girlfriend.” 

“I can’t believe you right now Tom.” You looked at him in disbelief and walked away.

~

“Hello? Earth to y/n?” Harry repeated. 

“Oops sorry, Harry, what’d you say?”

He chuckled, “I said what are you thinking about?” 

“Oh uhm thinking about the beginning of the end of Tom and I…” You said awkwardly, “I don’t know if being in the same house will be good for either of us.”

He sighed, “Look, I know things are gonna be really odd between you two, but despite what happened you said you’d try to stay friends. And I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but he still cares for you y/n, I know it. As your best friend and not Tom’s brother I’m asking you to try and put any negative feelings aside and just be friends at least.” He looked at you in a pleading and apologetic way. 

“Ya you’re right he’s letting me stay at his house and he is the reason you and I are best friends after all.” You smiled at him and he smiled at your positive attitude.

-

When you pulled up to the house there were 2 other cars. One of the doors to one of the cars opened up and a gorgeous girl walked out and into the house. You gulped already having a feeling of who she was. 

“Oh uh yeah. Y/n, there’s something else I had to tell you. Tom’s got a new girlfriend.” He said carefully looking at you. Your chest began to tighten. 

“Yeah figured. Why didn’t you tell me when they first started dating so I could be prepared.” You said softly trying not to show you were upset.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d want to know… Hey, you’ll be alright, love. You’re a bad bitch remember?” You turned to Harry who looked scared that he said something wrong and you both burst out laughing. 

“Yes,” still laughing, “You’re right. I am a bad bitch. Fuck it, we broke up for a reason.” You shrugged and let out a big breath and fixed yourself a bit before looking at Harry again, “Fuck past feelings it’s time for a new slate.” You decided to brush your feelings to the side and walked out the car to retrieve your luggage. Harry watched worried and knew that if you didn’t tell him how you truly felt you were gonna implode at some point. Nonetheless he let you be because you knew you’d talk to him when you were ready.

Not too long after Tom’s girlfriend entered the house you and Harry did. You heard a yell and immediately knew who it was, “I just heard the door open. IS IT Y/N?” you laughed as Harrison came running around the corner and lifting you up in a big bear hug spinning you. 

“Harrison put me down you’re gonna make me sick!” He put you down and you wobbled a bit, but Harry held your shoulders in place. After looking back and thanking him you turned back to Harrison, “So, how’ve you been? It's been ages since I’ve seen you!”

“Oh my god, y/n, I have to update you on so much, but I’ll let you say hi to everyone first.” You laughed and nodded turning to Tuwaine.

Squealing a bit you ran into his arms, “Tuwaine, bud, how’ve you been?”

He laughed, “I’ve been good, all fun in here with the boys. I’ve been getting more roles too!”

“That’s amazing congratulations!” He thanked you.

“The rest of the fam are busy right now so they couldn’t say hello, but they want to have a welcome dinner for you tomorrow if that’s alright.” Harry said.

“That would be lovely!” You looked around for Tom, but he wasn’t in the hallway. 

“Oh uh I guess Tom’s still in the living room.” Harrison said awkwardly. You nodded taking a deep breath as you headed there.

You froze as you saw Tom and his girlfriend kissing your heart sped up a bit, “Oh god I’m so sorry.” You turned around and Tom pushed the girl off him quickly and he stood up.

“Y/n! Wait, come back and say hello!” He chuckled awkwardly, his hands getting clammy. You turned around and walked to him in painfully awkward silence, all you could hear was the increasing pulse of your heart, so much for a new slate of feelings. The boys watched in silence behind you at the awkward site. You glanced behind to see Tom’s girlfriend smirking with her arms crossed over her chest, you gulped and finally reached Tom not reaching out to hug him. 

“Hi…” You you breathed out.

“Hi…” he said back looking into your eyes apologetically. He slowly raised his arms, “Come here.” You wanted to hit yourself in the face with how awkward this moment was especially when hearing Harrison snort behind you then groan when Tuwaine slapped his neck. You wrapped your arms around Tom and he seemed to relax just as your shoulders did. You wanted to stay in his arms longer, old feelings starting to bubble again, but you pulled away quickly and cleared your throat. 

You avoided Tom’s eyes and he looked a little sad. You went straight to the gorgeous girl smirking from behind him. “Hi I’m y/n! I’m gonna be living with these guys for a few months. It's nice to meet you.” You said with a nervous smile.

She stood up and you gave her an awkward hug as well, “I’m Allana. Tom’s girlfriend.” That’s all she said and sat back down. 

“Alright who wants dinner? Y/n wanna help me choose the takeout?” Harry asked. You silently thank him for pulling you away from that painful moment.

You walked to Harry and the other boys as Tom watched you walk away. He was snapped back into reality when Allana told him to go back to her. You began to regret accepting Harry’s invitation to stay here. Tom has a girlfriend for Christ's sake and she didn’t know you two had a past.

[ghostofcitrus]

more gender crisis bc i need somewhere to document this shit and also if u wanna read and say smth that’s cool too 🥺 fair warning it’s kinda longgg. but there’s a tl;dr and i tried to make the paragraphs short so it’s easy to read and i sorted the thoughts by paragraphs

ok so when i see a girl or group of girls or smth i, for the most part, am like yeah same. i have the same lived experience and like yeah u look cool and i relate in a lot of ways.

but like i also feel the same w non-binary ppl. i see agender ppl and i’m like oh nice that sounds like how i want to live MY life!! i get jelous. i saw a gender ambiguous person the other day and i thouvht i was going to lose my mind i was like AKSJSHJSJSNS Y O U. I WANT TO BE YOU. i talked to them i was like 😭😭i love your hair😭😭 and it was so compelling just seeing them i got my hair cut later that week. i like it.

and i cut my hair and i’m like y e s. and i’ve always wanted a very small/flat chest and have planned on getting a breast reduction (meaning i want basically no tits. i’m like a DDD rn. and i’m short and have a baby face so that’s like. very noticeable. pain.) ASAP. but i like dress and being seen as a girl? but i also want to be non binary, but it feels like something im striving for. i don’t feel like i’m there. i feel like i WANT to be there but i just keep hitting roadblocks.

when i think about OTHER girls, i’m like yeah. i relate to that. but when i think about myself. fully isolated. i want to present like a feminine agender person. i am connected to my girlhood. girl, sister, girlfriend, daughter... all of them accurately describe me. but i also like person, sibling, partner, child.

i like femininity. i like being seen like that. and being seen as a girl is cool and fine. but i don’t feel like it accurately describes all of me. but i’m like scared??

i want to be a “girl” in the way that when u look at me ur like ... is that a girl? my face i like lmao. it’s round and feminine. cool lol. my body.... i wish with like all my heart i woke up one day w/o titties or major curves. but i’ve literally work so hard to accept and like myself in my body. YEARS of forcing myself to look in the mirror and compliment myself. deconstructing fatphobia was a big part of it. but in my head. with no mirrors around. i think of myself as less curvy. a small fame, but not really curvy. much more neutral features. i forget what i actually look like. but when i do look in the mirror now i’m like she’s pretty. i like how she looks. nice. but it doesn’t really feel like me. but i feel cool. it’s like nice makeup that’s someone else chose for u and never comes off. like yes. that’s nice. but... it’s not like “me”. i feel like that about most of my features. but i’ve grown up in them. i don’t hate them. i think they look pretty and i feel confident enough like this. and after all the work i’ve done to get to this mindset... it’s just not what i want.

i think part of what’s messing with me is i’m automatically more comfortable with other girls/afabs, like we just share experiences and i can generally understand how they socialize. guys like,.. not so much. but most of my actual friends have ended up being guys. but im naturally wary of guys. and most around me end up being fucking republicans anyways. and another part of what’s getting to me is when i’m going about my life, i enjoy being stereotypically feminine. like i like to be taken care of, feel small , that bs. maybe it’s internalized misogyny that i feel like the only way i can be that is as a girl.

i also think i just have no idea what it would really feel like to go about the world non-binary. like i just want to keep blending into the background. i don’t want to be that noticeably different, i’m already autistic.

i think it’s also weird bc since middle school have been having periodic gender crisises but they always end in me just getting embarrassed, finding transmeds on the internet and also getting embarresed, not wanting to stop being feminine, or deciding it’s just not worth it.

and i think another thing is, i’ve always felt more connected to girls, but always on the outskirts of that, but that might just be because i’m autistic. but like i’m feminine in the sense that i like dresses. and being taken care of that and that shit. girls tend to really fucking irk me a lot of the times. i don’t really feel “connected” to them, more like “stuck” with them but making the best of it. some are pretty cool :) tbh it’s mostly just other autistic or queer girls i vibe with. other than that.. i struggle a lot to feel connected.

speaking of being autistic.... i’m realizing a lot of what i’m feeling is similar to how i felt when i first started to consider that i was autistic. when i was alone or in a space i was totally comfy in, i felt very confident that i was autistic. but when i was around people, i was like no i’m definitely not. and even now. i know i mask whenever i’m not alone. but i’m literally so fucking used to it it’s not hard at all. it hardly feels like a mask. just a different version of me. not the most authentic, but it’s how i operate around others. so whatever. not what i like per say. but in most cases, i can deal with it and still be perfectly happy (ish). this is exactly how i feel about all of this gender shit.

but i think part of my hesitancy to identify like this is i’ve never met ppl irl who identify as non-binary. that wouldn’t be a group for me to find and relate to and be comfortable with, i’d just be the different one. and i’m already different. and people don’t really get neopronouns and that shit.

ok and i’m anxious about my boyfriend as well. he’s a straight guy, idk how he’d feel about me being non binary. but i don’t want to sacrifice our relationship, so it’d be fine, because i also like my name and pronouns now. i like the shortened version of my name better tbh but i think my name sounds cool. mostly because saying it is a vocal stim for me, same with my partners name fore some reason. i just think they’re good names. they feel good to hear and say. and i’ve always been described that way and i’m like yeah that’s me.

i like dresses. feminine clothes? yes pleaseee. i like how girl are generally the ones who get taken care of. i like feeling small and dainty. i like being silly and cute. but like ... silly and cute arent like “girl things”?? but idk.

but i like “girl”. not “ladies” or “woman”. that feels too much like “female” and the only time i feel like i relate to that at all is in very specific situations. i’m feminine. i like that. i wish i could be feminine in an androgynous way tho????????

TL;DR: closing thoughts. if i were the only person on earth and i could do whatever i wanted like magically. i would change my appearance to look like my picrew... but like for an ex think Crona from Soul Eater of Ed from Cowboy Bebop. both of them are androgynous but when i see both of them i’m like they’re kinda feminine too! like that’s what i want to look like. i’d probably go by Citrus and neopronouns and maybe she/her (they’re fine but i feel like i’m lying about being non binary when i use them). ya know. how i want to be. but in reality. i am scared of that. it sounds like a lot of work and a big change that i could probably never really achieve. i also hate change. and constantly explaining shit.

also do cis people PINE over this shit the way i am? i’ve done this multiple times for years. not consistently bc tbh i have other shit i need to spend energy on but when i’m not pouring energy into somewhere else i tend to circle back to this. maybe that’s a sign that i’m right.

[rankdisasster]

sixteen

Billy Hargrove x fem reader

“A fic where you and billy are exes, you've not seen him for a while bc you go to different schools. Billy sees you with a guy all over each other in town and goes to a party that night to blow off steam but you're there with your new bf. You and the boyfriend break up at the party because he was being a dick. You go off with billy and spend the night with him” requested by anonymous.

word count: 4,147

warning(s): swearing

a/n: was gonna split this into two chapters bc of how long it is, but I figured why not. this turned out lighter and funnier than I originally thought. oh and I made the reader and Billy nineteen going on twenty. love the idea anon, thank you! tell me in my asks if you guys like longer fics cause I can stretch all mine out. I personally love long ones. let me know! also left the reader’s asshole bf nameless on purpose, you can put in any douchey name you want.

—

If anybody were to tell Billy what he would’ve seen when he went on an innocent trip to the supermarket to pick up his favorite frozen burritos, he would’ve ditched the frozen food and just order in a pizza for himself instead. Nothing could’ve prepared him for the shock, then the disappointment, and not to mention the utter fucking disgust of seeing you play Happy Housewife picking up groceries with a boy holding onto you by your hip. You were laughing with the tall handsome stranger, pointing at the sprinkled donuts as if there was something hilarious or entertaining about them.

Billy had originally been strolling through the aisles at ease, happy to get out of the house and go do something besides work, class, or going to the gym. Becoming a young adult for Billy meant chores like grocery shopping, and attending community college as a fresh start, also working at the car place down the street from town. He’d been doing good for a change, and it was a different feeling for him. Usually something (or in this case someone) would have him kicking and screaming his way back to his old self. Back when he was never anything but angry, sat around and blamed the world and refused to properly deal with his feelings, or think over his actions. However, college started and he met new people, strived to better himself not just physically but mentally. He even ditched his regular tough guy workout diet, replacing the protein shakes once in awhile and grabbing a case of colorful mouth-watering mini cupcakes for himself instead. He was hoping to treat himself because he deserved it, but this is what the world would rather graciously gift him: his ex girlfriend pawing at some douchey delinquent right in front of his face.

Billy reacted quick, almost embarrassingly quick, hiding himself behind the nearest corner with his back to the wall, his treats still sitting in the grocery basket as he cautiously peeked around to see if you were coming closer in his direction. Seeing as though you weren’t there anymore, he thanked his lucky stars and at last minute grabbed a bucket of vanilla ice cream from the nearest freezer section, because he fucking can, thank you very much. That’s what seeing “the one that got away” sucking face with somebody else at the store had done to the poor boy. The blonde anxiously tiptoed around the perimeter of the store, looking for your hair or that guy’s ugly face. After his target seemed to have vanished in thin air, thankfully, Billy sighed in deep relief and ran a hand over his suddenly warm face, coming down from the mini panic attack that you just unknowingly put him through. He thought you’d ditch Hawkins like you always said you would, find a better home to break more boys’ hearts and get a degree somewhere fancy. But then again, Billy remembers that there’s a lot of things you said you would do and ended up not doing.

“Hi, thank you for shopping with us. Would this be all for you today?” The kind middle aged woman behind the cash register asked. Billy scratched his head before forgetting if Max asked for anything or not, then decided whatever munchies she wanted could wait for next time. But first Billy needed to find another fucking store to shop at now, feeling like this place made Hell look like a playground with you and lover boy waltzing around, having a jolly time.

“Um, d’you think we could get this over with? ‘M kinda in a hurry here,” Billy laughs out of his anxiety, seeing the cashier woman take her time ringing him up. He squeamishly reached into his back pocket for his wallet and pulled out a few bucks then handed them over. She took the bills and slided them into the register one by one after scanning all of his items.

“Of course, sir. Would you like your receipt in the bag, or —?” Billy nodded his head and rushed to grab his bagged goodies before his name got called by a voice he never wanted to hear again.

“Billy?”

Holy mother of God.

Billy slowly turned around as if he were a kid getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar, and there you were. He didn’t want to make it obvious that he was checking you out, seeing if you’ve changed a lot or just a little since three and a half years ago. And you did. You matured quite a bit, got a new hairstyle that suits you, and you have a cute outfit on with your usual style that hasn’t changed drastically since you were sixteen. Billy remembers all your adorable band tees you’d wear, and he also remembers yanking them off of you when he took you to his room. But he probably shouldn’t think about that right now, not with you and your new boyfriend right in front of him.

“Uh... hey,” he breathes out, clearing his throat and straightening out his jacket, even smoothing out his hair like an idiot as if it wasn’t too late to already. As if he still cared what you think of him and his appearance. You raised your brows at him and grinned like it was fucking amusing to see him get so worked up and uncomfortable, still a bitch, then grabbed a hold of the man’s coat and gave it a tug to signal him for his attention. The tall, dark handsome man looks over at Billy as you greet him.

“Hey there, stranger. It’s been a few,” you greet him as if he were an old colleague or some bullshit, not at all like an ex who’s heart you smashed to pieces. It’s unsettling to Billy, and he knows something is up, like you’re not completely being real, not acting like yourself. Even if it’s been a few years, there’s no way in hell you could have tossed your whole personality out the window. “Babe, this is Billy. He’s an old family friend of mine,” you introduce the two boys and they shake hands, your boyfriend’s grip much tighter and Billy’s more hesitant. What the fuck is happening?

“What’re you up to these days?” You inquire, probably faking interest in how he turned out after high school. Billy knows he doesn’t have it in him to stand another second of this conversation, and when shit hits the fan, he bolts.

“You know, sorry but I really gotta go. This was great, uh. Nice seeing you Y/N, and nice meeting you Amigo, ” he snatches his groceries before all but running out of the store, nearly knocking his head into the automatic opening door on the way out, recovering quickly. Leaving your boyfriend confused and you feeling somewhat lonely, suddenly wishing to be sixteen and by his side again.

—

“Family friend? What the fuck was that!” Billy punched the steering wheel before he strapped on his seatbelt and threw his comfort food in the backseat. He can’t believe you, that you’d call him a family friend after all you two had been through. You were the first girl he ever actually found himself liking, and after you transferred to another school and dropped him like trash, you had since been the last girl he ever trusted, too. It was early 1983 when Billy was finally getting the attention from girls he wanted and having the time of his life in his second year of high school. You came around and made the first move asking him out, even calling the shots on what to do when you first started messing around, like the drunk on sex and hormones teenagers you were. You stood out amongst the other girls, he noticed it immediately and thought it would be fun to have a partner he could try out all the stuff he’d wanted to do. Practice was what he had called it, for when the time comes that his performance in bed actually mattered, since he was just a kid that went no further than second base before in his short life.

Things took a turn, and looking back now Billy should’ve seen it coming. Catching feelings and spending an awful lot of time together made him weak, made him more vulnerable than he’d ever been before. You fell for him too, or maybe you just said that to appease him, Billy doesn’t know anymore and gets a headache when he tries putting the puzzle together. Always missing what the point of it all was. Meeting him, smiling at him and making the boy feel special, feel like a real man even at the tender age of sixteen. Teaching him how to fuck, how to make love, how to give head that could make a girl scream and beg for more, more, more. More importantly teaching him that it’s healthy to talk to people about how he feels, listening to others in return. Then out of nowhere, dropping Billy like a fly when you moved and never calling him back after you promised him you would. Like it meant nothing to you.

He had so much he wanted to say to you but you were untouchable. He didn’t know your new address to write you, couldn’t for the life of him look your family up in the phone book either. He’d never felt so hopeless, so alone. And it was a stab in the back that you never lived up to your word, promising you’d keep in contact with him and never forget about him. The then sixteen-year-old cried hard in his pillow every night for weeks wondering what went wrong to have you not even try to keep in contact. And to do that, to shove him away in a drawer labeled nothing by calling him a family friend... fuck.

Billy snaps out of the painful flashback and refuses to let any tears out. If he didn’t deserve an explanation or some type of closure, then you didn’t deserve any of his tears. He rubbed his eyes as he sped home, then almost forgets the bags of frozen food in the back with how distracted he had gotten. When he made it into the house, he heated up two of his favorite frozen burritos in the microwave and ate all his sorrow away.

As Billy finished up his greasy deliciousness, he wiped his hands off on his already dirty jeans and answered the telephone attached to the wall that obnoxiously rang. It was Tommy on the line, saying something about some banger being thrown tonight. Just like that, a lightbulb lit up in Billy’s head.

Hell yeah.

Getting drunk, dancing drunk, burying all his feelings in some college girl’s pussy and chugging vodka sounded heavenly. Anything to forget the feelings and thoughts he had that slowly but surely started coming back up to the surface about Y/N.

—

Pretending to have a good time when you’d rather be home asleep is exhausting. The day dragged on with your boyfriend taking you place after place, spending penny after penny on you in hopes to buy your love, your affection, and your time. You sighed and ran your fingers through your hair in distress as lover boy decided to take you to another party you weren’t too keen on attending. Drinking sucked and made you sick, your boyfriend hated when you got stoned, so that ruled out all the fun of these get togethers. You tried to protest but he was insistent on going, it was no use; he had to have everything he wanted, and damn anything or anyone that got in his way.

“I’m serious. Give me the keys. You’ve had your fun, now I can drive you back to yours and you get your car from mine in the morning, alright?” you tried to ask nicely twice already, but he either ignored or refused you. He was passed tipsy already, slurring as he called you names and kept whining about how you never want to have any fun. When you try to take the keys from his back pocket he shoved you away then poured the remainder of his beer in your face. Absolutely humiliated with all eyes on you, you grabbed the nearest full drink not giving a shit who it belonged to and did the same, drenching his face in whatever sticky contents were in the solo cup and gave him the finger, running upstairs. Knowing lover boy he probably won’t even remember what happened tonight, beg for forgiveness, try to buy you back to him. Not happening this time.

Finding the nearest empty room upstairs to cry by yourself then clean off the stench of beer from your face and your clothes, you weren’t quite expecting your ex from three and a half years ago to come stumbling out of the restroom, the toilet flushing behind him as he still struggled to zip himself. He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth too, looking about as “put together” as he did at the store. You laughed at the sight, classic Billy, and he snapped his head over to the sound and his cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth.

“You following me or something?” He asks, giving up on his belt and leaving it undone.

“Oh, actually I am. You caught me,” you replied, sarcasm blatant in your tone. You pulled the knobs to turn the sink on and cupped you’re hands to gather up a pool of water to wash your face that was still drenched in beer. Billy saw how disheveled you looked and wondered if it was because you were having a great time or a horrible time. Based on your attitude, he had to guess it wasn’t the ladder. “Is there anywhere you don’t smoke?” you ask, seeing as though he still smoked like a chimney even while taking a piss.

Billy chooses to ignore that, knowing you already had the answer to that question. Instead, he chooses to comment on your wet hair and beer stinking up your clothes. “Trouble in paradise?” He asks conversationally. You looked up at him and scoffed, giving him a glimpse of your ruined mascara now running down your cheeks.

“I’m not in paradise,” you answer vaguely, not wanting to bother him with the details. You just knew he wanted an I Told You So, but you were stubborn enough not give it to him.

“Sure seems like it,” he responds. You want to roll your eyes at the signature attitude he’s giving, but can’t help feeling odd by the fact that you two were alone in a room together and he still hadn’t put his belt on properly.

“You look like an idiot. Come here,” you beckon him with your finger and he doesn’t move a muscle, just staring at you with his sultry blue eyes. “Alright, have it your way. I’ll come to you, prick,” after taking four steps to meet him you yank his belt then strap it on the tightest hole possible, finishing up by lacing the strap through the belt loops. While pulling away, Billy meets your eyes and holds your stare, not even blinking before he snaps out of it and goes back to brat mode.

“Thanks, but I’m not a goddamn child anymore. And you stink like PBR.”

“Oooh, sick burn, dude. It was a Budlight, by the way. That all you have left in you?”

“No, I have more. You got time to hear ‘em?”

“Got all night.”

—

You and Billy stayed upstairs and got to catching up, also throwing immature insults like “you peaked at sixteen” and “at least I don’t smoke on the toilet.” When you both finally let up and started laughing at your past mistakes and not holding grudges because of them, that’s when the energy in the room took a turn and you now remember that this is the Billy you knew. The doofus in the supermarket that ran into the door. Now you both lay on the bed, the blonde boy propped up by the headboard still chainsmoking, and you on the other end of the bed with your feet in his lap. Billy’s heart sings with how much he missed this, missed talking and just fucking around with eachother. Not taking anything serious. It was one of the many favorite qualities he had about you.

“Shit, I can’t even believe you’re really here. Never thought I’d see you again,” he murmurs while looking down at you, playfully tickling your feet that were in front of him. You reacted by almost kicking him in the face with laughter, then demanded he knock it off to which he surrendered.

“Well, same goes for me I guess. I can’t believe you don’t even try buttoning your shirts,” you say as he laughs and hides his face in his hands, adorably self conscious. “It’s hot though, don’t get me wrong. I can forgive you for that,” you sit up and reach to tug on the collar of his red button up, before you suddenly remember how you got here in the first place. “Can you ever forgive me?”

Billy snaps his head up at the change in conversation, seeing as though you’re both getting to that point of the night. When you really start to talk about everything.

“Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

You keep your eyes trained on him and scoot further up the bed right next to him before taking his cigarette from his mouth and giving it a drag yourself.

“Can you take me home?”

Billy turns his body towards yours and wraps one arm over your shoulder, as if protecting you. “I don’t know where you live anymore,” he rubs your back and let’s you lean your head in his exposed chest.

“That’s not what I’m talking about.” you whisper as he nods in understanding, taking his keys from his pocket and opening the bedroom door and opening it for you.

—

Billy drove you to his apartment and led you up to his room, which he kept much neater than he did back in the day. He even had a bookcase that was filled with the classics as well as a variety of horror novels. Posters of naked playboy women were removed and instead he now had his class schedule hung up along with metal bands and movie posters decorating the walls. His bed was unmade, but what made you laugh out loud was seeing three rolls of tissue that were crumbled up on his bedside table.

“What? I’m getting over a cold, you asshole.” He defended himself as he took off his shirt, not caring to tell you to leave as he changed. You had to double take when you saw the ink on his upper arm, where a cheesy old fashioned skull tattoo lay.

“You can’t be serious — this isn’t real. That cannot be real,” your eyes wide with disbelief and not asking for permission before trying to rub it off, expecting it to smudge.

“Nope. It’s totally real,” he goes on to tell you his experience going in and getting it on his eighteenth birthday after feeling extra rebellious. After his story was finished he realizes he forgot to ask if you’d even eaten dinner yet. “You hungry at all? Got these kickass frozen burritos, plenty to share,” he wiggles his eyebrows at you, and you agree that they sound fantastic right about now. Billy leads you back downstairs to the kitchen and plopping a couple of them on a plate and heating them up in the microwave.

“Billy, can I tell you something?”

“Uh, sure. If you wanna ruin our meal then go for it,” Billy answers, burning his fingers on the hot plate when he tries taking it out. The boy hissed and cursed, holding his sensitive hand as if it were a wounded animal. Still sitting at the kitchen table, you roll your eyes at his stupidity and impatience then grab the oven mittens from a drawer and grab the plate for you two.

“It’s hot,” you say obviously, stopping him from taking a bite of the sizzling meal.

“Yeah, thanks for the heads up.”

“I’m serious. We’ve been avoiding it all night, but I know I hurt you when I didn’t keep in touch like I said—“

“Y/N, stop.”

“No. You need to understand-“

“I said stop.” he snaps, quickly transitioning to defense mode, vastly uncomfortable with the change in subject. It was silent for too long, and Billy didn’t want to wait any longer for the food to cool, taking a bite and spilling beans down his shirt. “Goddammit,” he grumbled before you took the lead and grabbed a napkin to clean his tank top.

“You need a bib,” you advise.

“You’re not my fucking mom, alright! You ask me to to take you back here, make me feel like a child. You’re the child. You are! Go back to your snobby little boy toy, why don’t you? Christ.” he rubs his eyes after finishing his tangent, talking more under his breath about how “unbelievable” you are, and taking another sloppy bite from the burrito but nevertheless passing the plate to you and offering you some.

“I’m not hungry anymore, and I dumped my ‘boy toy’ right when he dumped his Budlight on me.” you quote Billy’s nickname for your new ex, then your stomach interrupts you by rumbling. He looks at you and then the plate knowingly. With a sigh, you grab the burrito and take a few nibbles before wiping your hands. Billy starts to stomp back up to his room before calling your name, pausing at the top of the stairs.

“I’m going to the gym tomorrow, Max is sleeping over at her friend El’s. You don’t have to stay.”

—

Billy doesn’t know what made him clam up so fast. Maybe it was how you still treated him like he was stupid, or that you wouldn’t drop it and bring up the breakup when he thought he was actually having a nice night. As soon as he enters his room he throws a pillow across the room and pouts before laying on his bed staring up at the ceiling. He surges for his back up pack of smokes and lights one up, the nicotine relieving him of his anxiety. Eventually he had to get up again to take a piss and when he exited the bathroom, there you were, waiting for him.

“Can’t get rid of me, William.”

“Who got rid of who last time, huh?” He blows smoke in your face with a smirk, happy about the cleverness of his comeback. “I already forgave you. Don’t bother.” He told you, strolling back to his room with his smoke trailing behind him.

“I’m sorry for referring to you as a family friend. Honestly, if he were to hear anything different he would’ve hurt me and then he would’ve killed you.” Billy stopped and turned around to where you stand, seeing your eyes brimmed with tears as you held your chest, trying your hardest not to fall apart.

Tugging on his heart strings since he was sixteen, Billy can’t help but give in.

“Come here.”

You fall into his warm embrace, with “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” I’m repeat and he shushes you while petting your hair, holding you tight.

“Y/N, baby, don’t cry. Please don’t cry,” he pleads, not standing it when you’re sad and especially when he was the cause of it.

“I left you and I didn’t talk to you ever again because I’m replaceable. You could’ve found any other girl or... or anybody to keep you company the rest of high school. But you spent it moping about losing me like the fucking idiot you are!” you laugh out loud, and it wasn’t humorous. Billy leads you in his room and ashes his cigarette without taking his hands off you.

“Listen. No, listen to me. Shut the fuck up. I didn’t mope about just any girl, and I don’t ever cry and bitch about her leaving me unless she meant the fucking world to me,” he takes your head in his hands, wanting to make you understand.

“I still love you. Even if you smoke on the toilet and do all the other weird shit you do,” you smile as you sniffle, embaressed about getting his shirt wet. Billy assured you that it didn’t matter then pulls you close to his lips.

“And I love you, even if you still reek like PBR.”

“It was a Budlight that was thrown at me, actually.”

“Shut up.”

And now Billy can say he’s never been more grateful he went to the supermarket for his favorite frozen burritos that morning.

—

sorry this sooo long but the idea was just too cute for it to be a small basic one shot!!

[1-800-yugyeom]

could you write a blackpink female reader x rose smut in which rose is very dominant and jealous? thank you

ugh i love jealous doms anon why are you doing this to me i need to be studying.

listen i think we can all agree that rosé is BEAUTIFUL like her visuals are downright killer right and there’s not a thing that could make you want anybody but her

and she knows that. not only bc you’ve told her on several occasions, but also bc she knows how you look at her when you think she’s too preoccupied to notice ;)))))

and she also knows that you would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship and she trusts you 100%

but on the other hand.. she’s aware that you’re incredibly gorgeous as well, even more so in her opinion

and as much as she trusts you, she has a hard time trusting other ppl around you

bc at the end of the day you’re HER girl and she doesn’t want anyone to the idea in their head that you’ll ever ever be theirs

she tries her best to keep her jealousy at bay and to never take out her anger and frustration at other ppl on you

especially over something as trivial as a brief touch or a fleeting comment or a wink in your direction

but unfortunately sometimes there are occasions where the “harmless” flirting goes too far for rosé to just.. stand there and watch

she hates the feeling of jealousy. it washes over her in hot waves, making her stomach turn and acid form in the back of her throat in the shape of searing insults that are in no way tasteful, elegant, or roseanne-like.

and sometimes she can stand there and suppress her emotions, especially when you quickly brush the person off or very bluntly state something like “my girlfriend is sitting right there”

but sometimes you let things go too long for rosé’s liking, either out of obliviousness or just bc you’re too nice she’s not sure, but she doesn’t like it one bit

like when the two of you attend a party held by one of your close mutual friends on a random friday night

you’ve both been stressed from work all week so when rosé had managed to get out of the practice studio early enough

you decided to release your frustrations by drowning yourselves in alcohol and loud music.

you would have the rest of the weekend to cuddle and catch up on lost time that work took away from you, now was a chance to have some fun and let loose

except rosé couldn’t

not with the way she could see from afar, the woman standing next to you getting closer and closer with every passing second

this was the exact reason she had barely left your side the entire night. she just wanted to get the two of you some drinks to speed up the de-stressing process.

however it seemed like every time she left, someone took it as an open invitation to take her place

and she was tired of it.

tired but still very very angry

she felt the familiar tightness in her throat and burn behind her eyes as she watched the girl fiddle with the buttons on your red cardigan and check you out very openly

you had accepted a drink from her, you let her touch your arm

almost in a trance she continued to watch your interactions, unable to jump out of line and go to you or to run out of the house in angry tears

she watched the expressions on your face and found herself getting angrier and angrier, were you enjoying this? did you know she was watching and wanted her to suffer?

all the confidence she had in the fact that you only want her is crumbling fast and it’s being replaced by ugly doubt

meanwhile you’re trying ceaselessly to end the conversation with this very obviously drunk girl, which had started innocently enough

she had come up to you, saying that she could’ve sworn the two of you had met before and that she knew you

and instantly she looked vaguely familiar, until you realized that she was a past one night stand of yours from college

you immediately felt a cold pit open up in your stomach but despite this, you decided to play it safe and continued to be polite

even as hazy memories of a filled bar and a tiny dorm room resurfaced, instantly setting off warning bells in your head and making guilt brew in the pit of your stomach

you quickly came up with a half-true reply, “oh yeah, um, we took that psych class together a few semesters ago i think.”

from the look in her eyes.. she knew that you remembered more than just the class

“right! oh my god i can remember sticking pretty close to you because you did so well in that class,” she said, making sure to emphasize just how close you were by laying a hand on your arm.

from there she made the decision to move into more.. intimate territory

playing with the ends of your hair as she asks you if you came alone, what your plans were later tonight, if you could ditch them

all of which you answered honestly, not wanting her to think there was any gray area or possibly that you could recreate your night together

however she didn’t take the hint and rosie still wasn’t back yet

the girl had handed you a drink, which you now held but still hadn’t taken a drink of. it wasn’t the kind you liked.

not the kind you knew rosie was coming back with, you thought guiltily.

at the thought of rosie you began to scan the room to look for her coming back, not even noticing the other girl getting closer and closer to you

however she yanked your attention back when she took one of the buttons on your sweater between her fingers and complimented your fashion sense, all while she raked her eyes down your form fitting outfit

let’s just say you were thoroughly uncomfortable at this point

you choked out a quick “thanks” and took a few steps back, lifting up onto your tip-toes to look over the crowd for a familiar head of blonde hair

you feel the girl slide her hand down your stomach to your hip

which is when you spot the love of your life on the opposite end of room, standing by the drink table with steam coming out of her ears while she looks directly at you

your eyes meet and you can see it, the anger, the jealousy, the doubt

as much as you want to move forward, your feet stay rooted to your spot as you stare back at her with wide eyes

visibly furious, she stomped back over to where she had left you not even 5 minutes ago

if you wouldn’t let people know you were hers, then she would do it herself

and she wasn’t coming for you, no, she was walking straight towards the other girl

which is embarrassingly enough the first time you realized you were about to have a problem on your hands

throwing the other girl’s hand down and rushing to meet rosé halfway you grabbed both of her wrists, halting her movements

her skin was hot to the touch, face screwed up and cheeks red

she looked absolutely, terrifyingly beautiful

gently, you tried to coax her gaze from your admirer back to you, rubbing your thumb against her flushed cheek and guiding it towards you

“hey baby calm down okay? let’s just go home, will you please take me home?”

her eyes finally moved to your face and you watch her nostrils flare, her teeth grit together

and you realize she wasn’t just angry at the girl at the bar, she was angry at you too

the next thing you know her lips are being pressed roughly against yours in a searing kiss, no doubt intended to draw attention and show her possession over you

rosé doesn’t stop there however, pulling your body in flush against her and moving her hands from your waist to your ass, squeezing harshly

she kisses you with everything she has, showing you all the emotions flowing through her right now. it takes your breath away with how passionate it is, almost like she’s trying to prove something to you, something to everyone.

you pull away a minute later, unable to breathe from the intensity of the kiss. rosé is still staring at you with stormy eyes, just as angry as before but now you could tell with the way her pupils had dilated, also slightly turned on.

“hope that got the point across to your friend,” she said shortly before tugging you out the door and away from the party.

still pulling you by the arm, she makes a beeline straight for the car.

despite still being extremely angry, she still opens your car door for you, waiting patiently for you to climb in and then slamming it shut, making you wince.

she climbs into the driver’s side, quickly putting on her seatbelt and starting the car.

you look at her, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear and taking a deep breath before opening your mouth.

“chae, i can explain-“

“i think you’ve done enough tonight,” she bit back, a displeased look still evident on her face.

luckily you see her cheeks started to cool down, her shoulders become more relaxed, and you know being inside the house was overwhelming her.

“i know you’re angry but we need to talk about this,” you try to say with a reassuring look, met with nothing but a frown and a cold glare.

“then talk,” she says.

sighing you take her hand back into your own, drawing little shapes on the back with your thumb while you think of what to say “she’s just someone i had a class with a long time ago”

“oh yeah because ex-classmates feel each other up and tug on each other’s clothes, right? you sure you didn’t know each other a little better than that?”

“okay, yeah?! so what?? we fucked. a long time ago, before i even knew you. but it’s not MY fucking fault that she didn’t get it the first OR second time i said i had a girlfriend and you were nowhere to be seen!”

you knew as soon as it came out of your mouth that would only make chae angrier. neither of you had ever mentioned past hookups or relationships for the other’s sanity. you knew it drove rosé crazy to hear you talk about anyone else.

but you had reached the end of your patience. you didn’t want to fight and the fact that chaeyoung wouldn’t listen when you told her the flirting was unsolicited only made you more desperate to get your point across.

“put on your seatbelt. now.” she said in a demanding tone.

“what the hell chaeyoung, i want to talk to you-“

“yeah well i’ve heard enough” she stated matter-of-factly.

“we’re going home baby, isn’t that what you wanted?” she said a moment later, tone more velvety and threatening.

this was the same voice she used when she told you beg, when she told you she was very displeased with your behavior and that you were to be punished now, when she told you to touch yourself for her-

the same voice she used when you were in for a long night.

the ride home was tense, the dominant aura coming off rosé in waves, letting you know that you didn’t stand a chance tonight and that excited you.

however you still felt the need to get everything solved before you got home, whether it was a good idea or not.

“rosie, please talk to me right now so i can figure out what you’re thinking,” you said softly, not wanting your voice to come off as a command. there would be nothing that she would hate more right now than feeling like she being given orders.

silence followed your request

you heard her suck in a deep breath, letting it back out shakily, and you feel the mood in the car shift

rosé pulls the car off onto the side of the road and just sits with her hands on the steering wheel before turning the key and everything goes painfully quiet until-

“you know what, who the fuck did that girl think she was.”

you jump in surprise at rosé’s sudden outburst, taken aback but still glad that she’s decided to open up her end of the conversation

“i don’t know, baby. i told her i came with you and that i wasn’t interested but she wouldn’t listen,” you explained calmly, desperate for her to understand that none of this happened bc of anything you did.

“you told her that?” she asks cautiously, almost like she can’t believe you tell people you’re taken, which was such a silly thought. you were so in love with her.

you nodded in response to her question.

“why wouldn’t i?”

you see rosé glance down at her hands, an unsure expression taking over her features.

“j-just.. you’re happy right? there’s nothing else anybody else could give you that would make you even consider-“

“absolutely not,” you say before she can finish her sentence. “and of course i’m happy, rosie. some random girl flirting with me at a party isn’t going to suddenly make me forget that.”

you watch her nod, still looking at her hands sitting in her lap, most likely gathering her thoughts.

slowly she looked up, locking eyes with you and staring at you hard, making you almost feel like she was staring past your eyes and straight into your soul.

“good. i’m not ever gonna let you forget how happy you are with me,” she said with the same dark tone from earlier, lips angling into a smirk, “starting now. go get in the backseat.”

your eyes widen comically, playing right into rosé’s desires. she wanted you to anticipate what was coming next.

“don’t make me repeat myself, babygirl,” she warned, rousing you enough to undo your seatbelt and open your door, complying with her orders in a way that you know will please her.

as you climb into the back, she continues to sit cooly in the front seat watching you through the mirror as you await her next orders

“strip down, baby. i want you completely naked when i come back there.”

with your cheek flushing, you slip your short red cardigan off your shoulders, placing it on the seat beside you.

you do the same with your back camisole and then kick off your sneakers, reaching down to undo the button and zipper on your skinny jeans. you do a very awkward shuffle out of them, almost having to rip them off with their combined tightness and the limited space you had to undress.

in your defense, you had imagined rosé taking them off you at the end of the night.

you catch rosé’s eyes in the mirror, the stupid smirk still on her lips and mirth dancing in her eyes, obviously amused by your struggle.

you pause when you reach your undergarments, starting to feel the oddness of being mostly naked and alone in the back while your girlfriend sat in the front, completely clothed.

“all the way. i’m not coming back until you’ve followed directions.”

wow, what an evil woman. how was this fair?

sighing, you swallow down your shame, unclasping your bra and throwing in into the front seat along with your panties a second later.

rosé picked up your underwear off the seat, inspecting how wet they undeniably had become from the minute she had kissed you back at the party.

“good girl. i can see you’re enjoying this, angel. do you want me to come back now and help you out?”

“yes please.” being polite has always gotten you far with rosé and you were practically ready to say anything at this point to get her in the back with you.

the next thing you know, the door to your right is being pulled open and the cool is nipping at your naked body, giving you goosebumps all over.

she gets comfortable, making you straddle her even though you’re at a high risk of hitting your head off the ceiling of the car. luckily you’re preoccupied craning your neck downwards to finally kiss rosé again.

her tongue pokes at the outside of your lips until you open your mouth and allow it to enter, the feeling of her tongue rubbing against yours enough to make you moan out loud

to your disappointment, rosé pulls away shortly after that, silently spinning you around to face the front seats.

she spreads your legs to hook around each of her own, experimentally stroking up and down your heat, listening to the little whines that fall from your lips.

you sit, completely naked, on rosé’s lap with your back against her chest as she starts to rub your clit slowly, watching you writhe and squirm in her lap.

“who’s girl are you?” she asks sternly, a desperate lilt at the end of her sentence like she’ll explode if you tell her what she wants to hear.

“yours rosie, i’m all yours, oh my god-“ you moan as her speed increases.

she keeps you at a medium, if not kinda slowly and teasing, pace until she pulls her fingers away from your clit completely.

you make a pathetic sound at the loss of stimulation, but let out a happy sigh when she finds your entrance, now wetter than ever.

if you’ve learned nothing else about sex with rosé over the years, you at least know that she loves teasing.

which you’re really hating right now as she slowly pumps one finger in and out of you, not even bottoming out. just pushing in enough for you to really feel it drag along the inside of your walls and then take it away a moment later

the hand that isn’t torturing you, she uses to roll your nipples under her pointer finger, sending a tingling sensation straight to your core.

“please, please chaeyoung, finger me properly i’ll do anything,” you pleaded, finally reaching your breaking point.

she giggled, pleased with your begging but amused that you cracked after such a short amount of time. how cute.

“okay honey bunny but only because you’ve been so good for me so far,” she said, landing a sweet kiss on the back of your shoulder and then trailing them up to lay several open mouth smooches against your neck.

you’d probably have marks in the morning, but wasn’t that half the fun?

finally having mercy, rosé slipped another finger in alongside the first, crooking them upwards before thrusting them in and out shallowly.

the crude sound of your wet pussy filled the car as rosé sped up her fingers, stroking your walls while she thrusted quickly

that combined with the wet sucking noises of rosé’s mouth on your neck and the noises you couldn’t help spilling out of your mouth

your lover could tell the second she hit your g-spot, not only from recognizing the different texture within, but from the way your hips canted upwards and a half-shriek half-moan left your mouth.

from then on she tried her best to thrust her fingers into it every time, trying to get you to cum as fast as possible

not that she didn’t like drawing out your orgasms, but her hand was cramping in the position and there was more you could do at home anyway.

as she continued her steady rough pace, she began to talk to you,making the coil in your tummy tighten even more and bringing you closer to cumming

“do you like it when i leave marks on your pretty skin while i finger fuck you baby?”

“oh my god you’re leaking all over my lap and the seat, so dirty. are you gonna cum for me? make it even dirtier?”

“c’mon baby don’t you wanna be a good girl for me? yeah? then cum around my fingers. just like this.”

vision momentarily blurring and a mini explosion happening in your body, you finally obey rosé’s orders, cumming hard.

you take a few moments to regain the feeling in your legs, panting heavily before rolling off rosé’s lap and onto the leather seat beside her.

rosé affectionately rubs your bare thigh as you stare at her, soaking up her pretty features and putting getting dressed and breaking the intimate moment off for a second more.

“you ready to go, baby?” your gf asks after a long moment, gathering up your clothes from where they’ve been thrown around the car.

“what about you?” you ask, realizing that you still hadn’t reciprocated.

“i can wait until we get home,” she giggled, kissing your forehead when you let out a relieved sigh, glad that you wouldn’t have to deal with even more muscle cramps from having sex in the back of your small car.

“i love you, rosé,” you said as you began to tug your clothing back on. “i love you more than anything.”

the smile you got in response was absolutely breathtaking, spreading across her face so perfectly and then her eyes into little crescents.

“i love you too, (y/n). more than you’ll ever know.”

[late-nightdevil]

i’m lonely, part two

read part one here

Warnings: crappy smut, you have been warned

Summary: loosely based of the song “fuck, i’m lonely” by lauv ft. anne-marie or where Calum dumped Brooklyn and now neither of them are happy, part two

Authors Note: honestly this is shit and i’m sorry but i’m trying to get back into writing and practice makes perfect right?? requests & feedback are openly welcome!!

It was excruciatingly horrible seeing him. I couldn’t think straight for a good hour afterwards, and to be honest, I’m not even sure how I got home. All I’m sure of is that I threw up as soon as I got out the back door and Luke was there to console me. Next thing I know, I’m sitting alone on my couch, wearing nothing but the flannel and a near-empty wine bottle in my hand.

It was a red wine I’ve drank just a few times before, but this time it seemed sour to my tongue. As inebriated as I am, flashbacks of my first sip of any alcoholic drink appear in my head as if it were yesterday and not years ago. Cal had insisted I would enjoy it, despite my initial reaction to the harsh scent. Of course I shared the bottle with him, finishing each drop, just like he said I would. The delectable flavors of the grape would never compare to anything else I tasted afterwards; a strong dislike grew for all other variations. Until the effect became more important than the flavor.

My thoughts began to drift deeper into memories that I wanted to stay buried. Quickly turning on the television, Friends rescued me from a downward spiral that I was sure to stumble upon.

It’s one of my favorite episodes and I recognized it immediately. I’ve watched the show more times than I can count, and the sight of Rachel jumping on Ross’ back as he’s on the phone is a scene I’ve come to love. The episode progresses, and once it nears the end, I hold my breath.

The amount of tension in the coffee house as Ross and Rachel go back and forth brings me to the edge of my seat. Despite the argument, the amount of admiration they have for one another shines through the dark room. When Ross comes back and Rachel opens the door, I let my breath go, and they share a kiss that’s been built up for the last nine years of their not-so-relationship.

I had that love. And it was taken away from me.

I down the rest of the bottle before pulling out my phone, typing in the number that I memorized a long time ago. The deletion of his contact was symbolic, but I knew it never really mattered.

The message box stays blank for a second as I internally debate whether or not he’s changed his number. He probably did, as to not be contacted by his ex girlfriend that he wanted nothing to do with. Frankly, it’s better this way; it’s like writing a letter and not addressing it. Either the messages stay in the “Not Delivered” limbo, or some poor random person is about to be subjected to my drunk texts. Oh well.

To (310) 825-1217

Fuck you cal

Fuck you for making me feel like shit

I’ve been doing fine

It’s been almost 2 years and you just ?? show up ??

“Favor for a friend” how many other favors do you do for her, calum?

How many other girls do you do favors for?

Fuck you man

While you’re out doing “favors” I’m sitting here watching our favorite show, sulking bc seeing you destroyed me

Do you still even watch friends? Or did you change that about yourself too?

I miss you cal

Miss who you were I guess

The calum that would come over at any hour of the night, bringing whatever I was craving bc somehow you always knew

And we’d stay up all night talking and watching crappy movies

Life by myself fucking sucks

Fuck

I’m lonely

The last text gets sent and I slumped back against the couch, feeling slightly better that I got the tension out. Every message went through, I’m sure someone will be enjoying my mental breakdown when they wake up.

My screen flashes as I pick up the phone again, a bright “2:45” appears and I groan internally. As I go to lay flat on the couch, a soft knock on my door sends my nerves haywire. Before I could stop myself, the numbers “911” are typed into the keypad and my finger stayed over the call button. My other hand grabs the metal baseball bat sitting near the door as a second set of knocks erupt, a bit more force this time. I stand on my tiptoes to see out the peephole to no avail, my something dark is blocking it.

Just as I’m about to press the call button, a whisper of a voice calls out my name, for the second time tonight.

“Brooke, let me in, please. I know you’re awake.”

Shit. Shit, shit shit shit shit shit shit.

I go back to the messages and the read receipt is time stamped just a few minutes ago. He still had the same number. Because the universe just seems to adore me tonight.

I toss my phone on the couch but keep the bat in hand before slowly unlocking and opening the door. His disheveled appearance throws me off slightly, a blue stain adorned his shirt while his eyes had dark patches underneath them, he must be as tired as my mind felt. His watchful stare wandered down my body, barely shielded by the short and thin material of the flannel he saw earlier tonight.

“Brooke, I- is that a bat?” He pointed at the metal weapon as his eyes grew wide. “Were you gonna beat me with the bat?”

A laugh elicited itself from my lips as I shook my head. “Not you per-se, just whoever was behind my door at three in the morning.” I leaned it against the wall near the door, easy access for next time. “What are you doing here Cal?”

“I need to talk to you, Brooke. I, I.. uh, shit.” His nerves were getting the best of him, the way he grabbed the back of his neck was a good indicator.

“C’mon, come inside. It’s cold.” He followed me in, locking the door for me as I took a seat on the couch. “Get yourself some water or something.” His footsteps went into the kitchen, allowing myself to calm my own nerves for a moment.

He’s here, in my apartment. Calum Hood is here and is nervous about talking to me.

He returned quickly with two bottles, handing me one, which I quickly began to drink. I think this is something I should be sober for.

“First, uh, I think you should know. That girl, at the party,” he was talking slow, calculated, knowing the wrong thing would make this end quicker than last time, “she’s absolutely nothing to me. A friend of a friend that helped me a while back, when we first broke up actually, with keeping me busy-“

“Stop, please, I can’t listen to that-“

“No! No, not like that. Just brought me out into group events and shit, nothing like that.” His warm hand was on my knee before I knew it, rubbing small, comforting circles into my skin. It felt so nice. “I haven’t actually been with anyone seriously since you.”

My eyes rolled without my control. “So you break my heart for a selfish reason, and don’t even follow through? Are you shitting me Calum? Do you know how much pain you put me through?” I could feel my blood boiling at this point. Would I have preferred him being with other people?

Eyebrows scrunched together, his words came out with confusion. “I thought you’d be happy? I couldn’t do it, Brooke. All I could think about was you. I changed classes, my friend groups, everything to try and prove that I needed to be with someone else. Our relationship scared me. It was so perfect, and I didn’t want to be there when it crumbled. Saying that out loud now I realize how fucking dumb I am.” I take in his words, each one breaking down another wall inside me. His body shifted on the couch, moving closer to me until his hands held mine. “I deserve every ounce of hatred you feel towards me. I know there are feelings and memories we can’t go back to, but I think about them all the time. Think about you all the time.”

I was at a loss of words, so he continued. “Remember at the beginning of our relationship, after being friends for so long, it was so hard for me to try to smoothly make a move on you. Every time we were alone, I would debate back and forth if it was okay to kiss you. I would spend hours on the couch with you, inching closer every chance I got.”

His hand tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, neither of us breaking eye contact. His voice lowered in tone each word. I couldn’t take it. “I remember. So many times I wished you would’ve just kissed me, touched me, something.” I looked down at our hands, seeming to have minds of their own, both rubbing circles on the other. “I tried so hard to get over you.”

“That’s the thing, Brooke. I realized very quickly that I didn’t want to get over you, but you deserved space. I was a shitty, selfish person who left the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I left you to be with other people, but I’m more lonely now than ever before.”

I try to process his words as they come at me, but my emotions are overflowing. “Why didn’t you come after me, Calum? Once you realized you fucked up?” Tears brimmed my eyelids as I looked up at him. He reached forward and wiped a single tear as soon as it dropped.

“Because I’m a fucking idiot. I’m so sorry, baby girl.”

That’s it. That’s all I needed to hear. A sincere apology from his lips was more than I could have ever asked for. There was only one way to express how I felt right now.

One last look into his watchful eyes and my hands reached up, grasping his shirt, pulling him towards me until our lips connected. The smooth, plump feeling comforted me instantly. This felt so, so right.

It was only a matter of moments before he came to his senses, taking quick control over the situation. One hand moved to my lower back as the other held him up against the couch, slowly laying me down. Our situation grew heated, what was mere kissing was now lip biting and a fight for dominance. Like nothing had changed.

His kisses traveled from my lips down to my neck, slowly dragging his tongue to trace the pattern. Usually I would love every second of this, but I didn’t want teasing tonight. We both had a lot of built up tension to take care of.

I pushed against his chest, his face contorted into confusion until I climbed onto his lap. His shirt came off with ease and I couldn’t help but bring my lips to his collar bones. I scatter small love bites across his neck and upper chest, eager to claim him once again. The moans erupting from his lips edge me on until his hips buck up against mine. The hardened member underneath me causes me to gasp, and he liked it. One hand came up to the back of my neck, pulling me in to kiss again as the other began to unbutton my - well, his - shirt.

Before I knew it, the cloth fell off my shoulders, and he pulled back. “Fuck, baby..” His eyes couldn’t meet mine, too preoccupied with the sight in front of him. “You’re so gorgeous, I missed you so much.”

I crashed my lips against his, not being able to comprehend the words I wanted to say. My hands reached down to unbutton his jeans, pulling them down swiftly. His stiff cock sprung out and couldn’t help but spread the bead of precome over the smooth head. The gesture is something he’s always been a fan of and the sounds coming from his lips prove it still is.

His calloused fingers graze my delicate folds, gliding past my lips into my core. “I can’t believe I still make you this wet baby. Come on, sit on my cock.”

No time was wasted as his hands help pick me up, slowly setting me down on his thick member. It took a second to adjust to him, Luke had length but I’ve never had girth like Cal.

I moved my hips off of his and brought them down in a painfully slow manner, knowing it sent us both mad. Only a few minutes were spent like this, his patience running thin as gripped my sides roughly. I quickened my pace and he thrusted, meeting me with a force that drove me to the edge.

“Calum, please,” with one hand grasped onto his neck and the other leaving scratches down his chest, my moans grow louder until I hit the brim of ecstasy. His lips attach to my neck and I can feel him release inside of me. We slow our hips as we come down from our high, hugging each other close. Too afraid to let go.

The only sounds in the room is our labored breaths and the soft chatter on the television. My head rested in the crook of his neck as his fingers stroked my lower back. I never wanted to leave this feeling.

But the question had to be asked. “So, what now Cal? What does this mean?”

He was silent for a little while longer which made my nerves spike, afraid of what I’m expecting is inevitable.

“I’m never leaving you again, Brooklyn. Even if you hate me and want nothing to do with me, I’ll always be here for you. I’m never going to fuck up that bad again. It was the biggest mistake of my life.”

His words surprised me. I sat up to look him in the eyes, seeing if there was any sense of regret from his previous notion. But he said next made all my fears disappear.

“You’ll never be lonely again, I promise. It’s always been you, Brooke.”

[moviegroovies]

okay so one of my points in the original incoherent longpost ramble i wrote while fending off the the post-lost boys haze that overtook me after watching it for, i believe, the fifth time, was that i thought the reason it was such a good movie was how quickly it checked the “oh, i like these characters and want to think about them now that the movie is over” box. in that post, i then proceeded to not talk about the thoughts i’ve actually been having about these characters at all, so let’s get down to work and try to fix that, shall we?

okay i was going to just write another impossible to read multiple paragraph long post, but y’know, how about i make things easier on all of us and do this in bullet points. so, in no particular order..... headcanons!

despite her later desire to get out of the gang, star wasn’t tricked or pressured into becoming a vampire like michael was. rather, she had been hanging around them for long enough that she pieced together what they were and asked to join, only coming to realize that it would mean killing other people for her own continued survival and wanting out later on.

in the 6-issue lost boys comic, it’s implied that star has cystic fibrosis, informing her decision to become a vampire. i’m definitely not taking all of that comic into my own personal canon, but i stand by that part--esp. bc it fits with vampirism being her decision, even if it was one she later regretted. 

marko is the smallest of the lost boys, but also the most dangerous, even exceeding david. have you seen that part where he’s peeling a man’s head like a fruit? that bitch is BLOODTHIRSTY.

not that he’s exactly an upstanding citizen on his own, but a good deal of the reason that david abuses exercises his control over the other boys is that he knows that they (but marko in particular) are always just about ten minutes and one show of weakness on his end away from staging a coup, and he knows that with anyone else in charge (save maybe dwayne, but dwayne isn’t interested in the leadership role) the group would become too violent and draw too much attention, getting them all killed.

okay now i feel like i’m vilifying marko which. i definitely stand by what i’ve said, but i also don’t think he’s like, pure evil or anything by any means. i like marko! 

i feel like i owe marko some nice headcanons now so like: i agree with the general consensus that marko cares for the pigeons in the vampire hotel, to the point where he feeds them and maybe talks to them. he DEFINITELY has named them all, although honestly he can’t tell them apart that well so usually when he sees one and calls it a specific name, he’s fucking with everyone else. loves to make fun of the other guys for not knowing which one is which, though.

one day he looks at a bird flying into the cave and casually announces “hey, vlad’s back,” and after hardly a glance, michael deadpans “vlad? that’s lestat.” 

marko goes into existential crisis mode for a week. this is the first time he starts to respect david’s decision to make michael one of them. 

he never figures out if michael was just fucking with him the way everyone else or if he could really tell the difference between the pigeons and it haunts him to this day.

ok wow that was a LOT of marko

back to star: she’s trans. you know that part on the boardwalk where she and michael are introducing themselves to one another for the first time, and michael goes “oh, your parents too, huh,” when she says her name is star? i always felt like she didn’t really get what he was saying, even after michael elaborated and told her he meant that her parents were ex-hippies. now i’m totally choosing to read that as her being like, a little offended that he thought someone would only be named star because they were burdened with it by uncool ex-hippie parents, because honestly when she picked it she thought she had the coolest name of all time. 

i will not take constructive criticism on that last part because it is already perfect.

on the subject of star, the general consensus i’ve seen in fic and stuff is that she had been a vampire for a few months or maybe a year before the events of the movie, but honestly i’d disagree.

personally, i feel like she’s been there for a lot longer than that--like, have you seen how she dresses? that immediately pinged “free spirit hippie girl” to me, which was kind of out of place, especially considering that everyone else dressed so 80′s. imo, star might have been turned as early as the start of the 70′s--making her the ex-hippie, and not her parents, like michael assumed. this fic here (which is SO good, by the way) explains the way that she was able to last a year with the hunger while michael was already struggling after about a week by having star steal sips from david’s bottle to tide her hunger when she could. that’s basically the way i see it, too, tbh, except over a longer time scale--rather than one year, something around 15. 

which means star is nearly as old as michael’s mother. oops.

alright, it’s weird, but i don’t actually think it’s that weird. the way i’m choosing to see vampirism in this universe is that it permanently halts the emotional maturity of the vampire at whatever age they get turned; david and the guys are nearly grown, at ages like, 18-22 or so, but not quite, and they’re never going to grow up and out of their immature mindset. the worst is for laddie, who’s permanently stunted around 8 years old. the others respond to this with a certain degree of pity, but since he doesn’t actually know what he’s missing, it mostly translates to a really rabid older brother/sister instinct. heaven help anyone who tries to pick on that kid--they’re immediately going to face 5 angry vampire dudes and one absolutely enraged vampire chick. 

(not to mention that his emotional immaturity means he’s got no real self control over the hunger he feels... if he ever snaps and becomes a full vampire, he’ll be the most dangerous of the group for a plethora of reasons)

on that note, if i were to list the lost boys by most control over their urges to least (or, y’know, least to most actively bloodthirsty), i think it’d be something like this: michael -> david -> star -> dwayne -> marko -> paul -> laddie, with the caveat that while marko is technically better at controlling himself than paul, paul has more moral reservations about the actual act of violent murder, while marko is more inclined to kill for fun. 

david being so high on that list may be a point of contention for some but tbh i feel pretty strongly about it

a majority of that call for me comes from the unmade screenplay for the lost boys: the beginning, a prequel to the film set in 1906. before reading that, i honestly had different headcanons entirely, and a lot less sympathy for david, but if you take the script as canon, i think a lot of things change about his characterization.

in the script, the four main lost boys are together (plus one other member named jasper, which is the only crossover name between the lost boys and twilight) as a petty gang before they became vampires. the start of the movie sees them pickpocketing to try and pay for a place to sleep that night, and david seems to luck out early, lifting a wallet with a $100 bill inside. 

however, when he realizes the guy has a family, including two babies, and he just took everything the guy has, he gives the wallet back, to marko’s intense dismay. 

basically, david starts out a criminal, and he definitely does care about self preservation above most other things, but he still has morals. later, when the movie’s big bad is pressuring him and the others to drink blood and live eternally, he’s the only one who refuses, spitting out the wine when he’s forced to drink it and showing the others that it’s blood. notably, even before that he’s warning his friends that they don’t have to drink it if they didn’t want to (mirroring the way that star told michael he didn’t have to drink of the bottle), protecting not just himself, but also them. he resists becoming a vampire the longest, too; david refuses to join the movie’s villain, even after the other lost boys have been turned, right up until he’s shot by some military men in a scuffle and it’s a matter of life and death. then, his self preservation wins out, but even once he’s been turned, david doesn’t lose who he used to be. 

tl; dr: i feel like david is a better person than the events of the movie alone would have you think.

in my opinion, he’s been looking out for his friends from the very beginning, and he’s never stopped doing that. yeah, even before he turned, he was a crook and kind of a burnout, but he had morals. i’m not going to deny that david enjoys being a vampire--enjoys drinking blood, the physical rush, the power over people who pushed him around--not by any means. i just think that comes from an understandable place, given that he was a streetrat who got pushed around a lot in the events of that script; he likes that he’ll never be a victim to assholes with knives who are bigger than he is again. 

plus, if you look at the people the lost boys kill over the course of the movie, they’re not exactly innocent victims. there’s the asshole cop who restrained david with a baton to his throat for pretty much just the act of putting his hand on a dude’s face, a jerkass who starts fights on boardwalks, steals comic books, and ignores his girlfriend’s protestations in the car when he’s trying to make out with her, the girlfriend, who stuck by him while all that shit was going down (and was reading one of the stolen comics, if i interpreted that scene correctly--not that this means she necessarily deserved to die, but she wasn’t innocent), and a bunch of assholes calling themselves surf nazis. david and his gang only go after people who have started the fight themselves in some way or another, and i think that david is a big part in keeping it that way--he’s the one who deescalates the tension on the carousel to keep things from an all out bloodbath, after all, and was the one keeping the gang in check since the turn of the century from doing anything too unforgivable for their own gain. that to me says he’s got a pretty good grasp of self control, and he keeps the gang to a level of violence that sustains their bloodlust without being totally gratuitous as much as possible.

re: his placement on the sliding scale of vampiric self control, you might be wondering why i put michael at the absolute top. honestly, it’s not that i think he’s a saint or anything. i just think he was the one member of the gang (jury’s out on laddie, but he’s automatically at the bottom because of his age and inability to control himself) who didn’t make a conscious choice, one way or another, to become a vampire. marko, dwayne, and paul gave into the temptation of the prequel’s big bad. david and star were given the choice between vampirism and death, and chose to live. michael, though--michael gave into peer pressure, but the worst crime he committed was drinking some wine. watching the others kill absolutely fucked him up, but he was able to resist any kind of bloodlust that might have had him joining in the slaughter on the beach that night. when pushed to the absolute wall by david in the ending of the movie (an ending you might have noticed i’m completely ignoring in favor of a full gang inc. laddie, star, and michael for my headcanons lol), his strength was tested against david’s and he won. michael isn’t perfect or superhuman, but he’s making the choices an essentially good, normal human being would make, and when everyone around him for one reason or another chose what they have, he’s got that tiny bit of a head’s up on them that makes all the difference. 

tbh tho, i think david was right when he said there was something of a killer in michael. i think on some gruesome level he’s kind of fascinated with the vampirism he’s fallen in with, which makes him more susceptible than, say, sam, or really any of the other emersons, who would rank above him on that scale, were they vampires too.

paul to me is just a fun happy dude. i was endeared to him when he clapped michael on the back after he drank and announced, totally earnestly, “you’re one of us!” i just, you know, liked his eagerness to welcome in a new friend. tbh i think he’s a bit of a ditzy airhead (or, dare i say it, a himbo), but he’s ultimately got his heart in the right place.

i really like dwayne. i like that he’s the quietest of the group (i saw a headcanon that said he didn’t speak that much because he’s got a stutter he’s embarrassed of, which i have absorbed into my canon), but i especially like that he does speak--to laddie, telling him what’s going on when he’s riding on the back of his bike. other than star, i think dwayne’s the most protective of him, and probably the most “maternal” of the guys. he’s under star in the sliding scale thing because to me he doesn’t really have qualms with killing assholes to survive, but at the same time, he’s never really tempted to take more than he needs, like marko is. 

i like the idea that dwayne’s really into music, like, ‘can name the artist, album, and song title of any song made since 1890 from the first line’ into music. immortality is a hell of a thing for music buffery. 

ok i have sooooooooo much more i want to say, i didn’t even realize i’d put together this many thoughts about this movie but Apparently I Have, holy god, but i need to cut off this post at some point sgfdshgh

one more fun marko one: totally love the hc that he paints, especially that he paints murals on the cave wall. artist boy.....

<3

[thelittlestspider]

💜👻

@mvcreates

💜- top 3 favorite lines

hmmmm. okay forewarning: this is gonna be long. also spoilery. 

1. sage “kills” owen.

[warning(s): car accident, violence, torture, blood, guns, gunshots, and crying.]   

sageis driving when the tires are shot out, causing them to spin out andflip over a bridge. Sage is hella pissed. Like burn the world downpissed. She drags violet and carter out of the vehicle, laying themdown safely out of sight, and then goes to hunt down the fucker thatdared to try and kill them.

Shegoes up to the bridge to see a boy and a girl who she thinks might besiblings, holding guns in their hands. Sage holds up her hands tomake them feel safe.

“whoare you” asks sage, slowly edging closer to them.

Theboy smirks. There’s a look in his eyes sage dislikes immediately,something evil. “hm, nobody you need to worry about.”

sage’smouth quirks. “i doubt that.” she glances at the girl, then atthe gun aimed at her. They are fools, the both of them. She wouldhave thought they were trained better than this.

Sagegrabs the gun out of the girl’s hand, punching her hard enough todaze her. She spins lightning fast to hit the boy with the butt ofthe gun, then slams her hand against his chest with enough force tobreak ribs, dropping him to the ground. When he holds the gun up,wheezing for breath, sage wrenches it from his grasp. He glares ather with a hatred that would be frightening if he wasn’t so pathetic.

“thiswas your idea, wasn’t it?” she asks, voice low, soft. “i hopeyou’re satisfied with what happens to you now.” his sister screamsat the first gunshot, tears streaking her face, her handoutstretched. Sage glances at her. “get out of here while you stillcan. I might not feel so charitable once i’m done with your brother.”

theboy gurgles as blood fills his lungs. His sister cries. Sage watchesthe scene, unmoved by their pain.

“what’syour name?” the girl looks up at her with frightened eyes, lipsquivering against her sobs.

“w-what?”

“yourname.”

thegirl opens her mouth and closes it again, struggling to draw breathinto her lungs. “bella. My name is bella.”

“thankyou. I just wanted to know who i’m dealing with.” sage walks aroundthe boy’s legs to stand next to his side. He gives her that glareagain. She narrows her eyes at him, places her foot on his gunshotwound, and presses down. “Now i’m going to offer you a way out ofthis. You leave him here, I spare your life, you live the life you’vealways wanted free of this cancer.” he screams as she presses downharder, grinding her heel into his wound. “he made you do this,didn’t he? He’s always making you do things you hate.”

“yes,”whispers bella. More tears fall down her face. Bella’s guilt ispalpable.

“go.”

bellastands on shaky legs and walks away. She doesn’t look back.

i mean. it’s gonna have to be rewritten but like sage is so fucking raw in this scene i had to put it here. 

2. nina tells carter about her abusive ex kyle. i really like bc it was one of the scenes i wrote that solidified the bromance between them. 

[warning(s): talk of emotional abuse and gaslighting.]

the party has been going approximately an hour, when they realize nina is nowhere to be found. Violet sends carter to make sure nina hasn’t been kidnapped or eaten, or boarded herself up in the bedroom to avoid an awkward conversation.

Eventually carter finds her sitting in one of the lawn chairs in the backyard, gazing up at the night sky. She looks so serious sitting there, knees pulled up to her chest. Carter wonders if the void would give him the answers to life’s mysteries if he asked, or if it would stare back at him with its vast coldness, as unknowable and everchanging as time itself.

He plops himself into the chair next to nina, deciding nina’s troubles are more important than the void.

“are you alright?” asks carter, copying nina’s sitting position.

“yeah, i’m fine. I get overwhelmed when it’s a big crowd of people. So sometimes I have to go hide away somewhere when it gets too much.”

“um, ever since I was a kid, i’ve always liked going out at night and talking to the moon. I’d tell her about my day, or about the books I was reading.” nina smiles jewel bright in the faint moonlight. “kyle always told me I was weird for doing that.”

“was kyle nice to you?”

“most of the time. I guess.” nina looks down at her hands, fiddling with a thread on the sleeve of her cardigan.

Carter waits for her to speak.

“kyle could be really mean sometimes. He would tell me I was weird and that’s why I had to have the moon as my friend, because I couldn’t get anyone to be friends with me.” nina’s eyes become shiny as she talks, reliving an open wound. “and when i’d cry because it hurt so bad, he told me he was sorry. Then he would um,” nina sniffles, wiping tears away with her sleeve. “he would buy me gifts, take me out to dinner; that kind of thing. He was so sweet that I forgave him, and I’d start to wonder if I had overreacted, like maybe I just blew it out of proportion.”

“but I wasn’t carter, I wasn’t.” nina’s face scrunches up. “he didn’t care about me at all. When the ghosts hurt me, he didn’t believe me. He said I was just making it up for attention.” carter wraps his arms around nina, rubbing her back as she cries. “tiffany was the only person who believed me.”

“i’m going to set him on fire,” says carter, deadly calm. “and then i’m going to use him to light my cigarette.”

“please don’t do that,” nina hugs carter tight, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “but thank you.”

some of this is gonna be rewritten bc of plot related stuff, but i still really like the lines in this.

3. carter confides in nina about a one night stand gone wrong and about his past. nina is heartbroken. 

warning(s): mentioned slutshaming, implied domestic violence and sexual assault. it’s not graphic or anything like that, but still heed the warnings just in case.

nina hears carter take gasping breaths behind the door as he cries, and holds her clasped hands to her chest, a terrible ache in her gut. She recognizes that kind of crying; the kind of sound you make when you try so hard to stop, but you can’t because it’s pouring out of you. All of the hurt comes out in these kinds of moments. Nina closes her eyes, bracing herself for the fallout.

She raps her knuckles on the door. “carter, can I come in?”

“come in.”

carter’s sitting on the toilet seat, lips pressed together against another sob. His face and eyes are red and his nose is dripping. He grabs a handful of toilet paper and wipes his face, trying to look brave for Nina and utterly failing in the attempt. Nina looks back at him, thinking Who did this. Nina sits on the floor next to him, back resting against the cabinet, arms draped around her knees. She waits there looking down at her nails to stop herself from looking directly at carter’s downturned face. The trick to getting carter to open up is to let him talk first. She tried to force it once and saw that naked look in his eyes, before he flew away like a startled bird. Out of the corner of her eye, carter sniffs wetly, tears clinging to his lashes.

“i’m sorry,” rasps carter. “i didn’t want anyone to see me like this.”

nina chances a look at him. “what happened?” carter opens his mouth, then closes it. More tears fall.

“some guy I went out with, we– we were having fun. And um, he asked if i’d go back to his place. So I said, “okay.” but once we got there…” carter blinks, eyes distant. “he started getting mean. He called me a, a slut, and he sounded so much like him, I just couldn’t–” he puts a hand against his mouth, lips trembling. “i left.”

I’m so sorry, Nina thinks, blinking back the warm pinpricks behind her eyes. She clenches her hands into fists, feeling her palms itch with the urge to hurt whoever gave carter these wounds.

“if I ever find him, he’s a goner,” says nina, jaw set.

“bella beat you to it,” replies carter with a watery smile.

i can’t spoil what’s gonna happen, but nina sort of plays a part in owen’s eventual downfall. 

👻- 2 or 3 sentences from something you haven’t posted yet

tiffanysees carter grinning down at his phone during break and it takeseverything in her not to lean over his shoulder to find out who he’stexting. The curiousity is killing her.

“so…”she settles onto the stool next to carter, trying to be cool andfailing miserably. “okay you know I can’t be chill about anything.Who are you texting?”

“there’sthis girl. Her name is nina. She likes ballet and horror andantiques. She’s really cool.”

“likebuddy cool or girlfriend cool?” carter looks at her with such blankconfusion – like the thought of nina being anything more than afriend had never occurred to him – tiffany almost laughs out ofreflex. Luckily she doesn’t. She’d hate to put that red tinged,shamed look on his face he wears when he feels he’s done somethingwrong, only he doesn’t know what and he’s being laughed at for it.It’s a look she’s seen him wear too often.

“well,i’m glad you made a friend. I know how hard it is for you.” tiffanyprobably knows better than anyone how hard it is to find a friend.Especially when everyone knows you’re different.

It’sone of the loneliest things in the world.

[hourzmanga]

favorite yuri & shoujo ai

man i’ve been sitting on this for a while now but it’s finally basically finished. I’ve written a short summary along with noted whether there is sexual content, general warnings about content, and length (it always annoys me when i read a good looking synopsis only to find out it’s just a one shot). My favs have asterisks next to them. happy reading!

#

20 Year Old Girl x 30 Year Old Maiden: a young girl falls in love with her former instructor. (short ish; COMPLETED)

A

Ano Musume ni Kiss to Shirayuri o: Girl who just wants to be number one challenges the girl who is naturally the best at everything. Nice development, cute art, interesting characters. Soft and sweet and engaging. (long; ONGOING)

Aoi Hana: A manga about girls in school who navigate their desires and lives as they age and the people around them change. One of my favorite authors who has other series that are definitely worth the read. Has sexual content but not gratuitous if i remember correctly?? (52 chapters; COMPLETED)

Apocalypse: Special items in a video game bring a girl and her crush closer together. No actual concrete relationship starts but definite cute and soft feelings that I liked. (three chapters; COMPLETED)

*Asagao to Kase-san: Girl meets another girl whole watering the morning glories and falls in love. suffers a little from “but we’re both girls!” in the beginning but is pretty temporary. Has sexual content. (longer; ONGOING, but definitely has a good chunk of story finished)

B

*Bright and Cheery Amnesia: girl loses all her memories and wakes up in the hospital to her girlfriend. Though she’s shocked, it seems that spending three years together and being in love transcends any difficulties. SUPER CUTE. Has some sexual content but not graphic. (medium length currently?; ONGOING)

C

*Chatting at the Amber Teahouse: A sweet and slow paced manga about a girl who works at a tea house and is in love with the owner. One of my absolute favorites for its atmosphere and pacing. (21 chapters counting extras and prologue; COMPLETED)

D

*Double House: Trans woman working at a bar and a girl who’s run away from her upper class family become neighbors. I really really like the art and atmosphere of this; it’s very lovely and softly engaging. (it’s by the same artist of pieta, my ultimate favorite) (3 chapters; COMPLETED)

E

*Ebisu-san and Hotei-san: When a woman transfers to her department, the main character feels antagonistic towards her aloof attitude and goes out of her way to make her feel unwelcome. This all changes when she receives insight into the other woman’s life and her feelings become very different. very cute and subtle with a sweet ending. ???????? (6 chapters plus extra; COMPLETED)

*Exciting Feelings (also Fluttering Feelings): girl becomes friends with a popular girl and they slowly develop feelings for eachother. (as of now i’m the translations they have not yet gotten together but the slow burn is realllll goood) (longer; ONGOING)

G

Girl Friends: A classmate approaches a girl who is generally alone in the class and invites her to join her friend group. They end up developing feelings for eachother. Pretty good, not my favorite but definitely worth the read when u can. (COMPLETED)

H

Hide in the Flowers - girls at a magic academy; cute but not story heavy (shorter; ONGOING)

Houro Musuko: About a trans girl who grows up and is both affected by and affects those around her. A little sensationalized imo but has such a great host of characters and that good soft art. Less romance more coming of age but is lesbian or at least girl loves a girl in the long term so .. Read It. Has sexual content but it’s conducive to character development so doesn’t count. (123 chapters; COMPLETED)

Irrational Us: About a lesbian office worker with a sort of off putting, twisted personality (as much as i hate to use that word lol). Super interesting main character. (10 chapters; ONGOING)

K

Kanojo to Camera no Kanojo no Kisetsu: Not completely sure why i like this one so much; the current translations don’t even have the main girls getting together, but i think it has an atmosphere that i really enjoy. It’s about a girl who feels bored and out of place with her usual friends until she speaks to a girl with a camera who she’s always admired and they become close friends. No sexual content (shorter; ONGOING)

Kuchibiru ni Suketa Orange: Beautiful and stylish girl transfers from tokyo and joins the plain friend group of another girl, who harbors a secret crush and longing for the girl from tokyo. Has sexual content and some sort of iffy motifs (like the main character imitating the girl she has a crush on that was kinda… off putting) (6 chapters; COMPLETED)

Kuchibiru Tameiki Sakurairo: A series of cute one shots. By morinaga milk, who a lot of people LOVE, but doesn’t really make my favorite type of content. No sexual content (9 chapters; COMPLETED)

L

*Lesbian-Teki Kekkon Seikatsu: Married couple and their journey to having children. cute style and interesting! No sexual content. (shorter; ONGOING)

*Love My Life: A lesbian woman going through her life and interacting with her friends and family. SUPER interesting story with a main character that i really liked. Has sexual content. (12 chapters; COMPLETED)

M

Magan he Danai: Cute series of loosely connected oneshots about a couple in which one woman is mischievous and often messes with her wife, who tolerates it sometimes and retaliates other times. Cute and fun dynamic and nice art. No sexual content. (11 chapters; COMPLETED)

**Manga no Tsukurikata: A manga artist decides to date a girl she knows from work who has confessed to her in order to write yuri manga. Turns out the younger girl is also a manga artist, and one that she idolizes. Very sweet and slice of life & a relationship that develops slowly but sweetly into something very sincere. This has been one of my favorite series for a long time. (longer; COMPLETED)

Mars no Kiss: rebellious girl who has an older boyfriend and thinks of herself as emotionally and sexually more mature than those around her is seated near honors student and falls in love. does NOT end with mutual feelings, unfortunately, but DOES end on a happy note. has sexual content. (4 chapters; COMPLETED)

More Than Friends?: two girls work out their feelings for each other and experience lots of things together. Very very cute stuff!! currently (as of july 2017) on hiatus. (mid-length?; ONGOING)

MORISHIMA AKIKO (queen)

she has a lot of great stuff that i have to recommend here so enjoy

* Happy Picture Diary: A series of 4-panel comics about life as a lesbian woman and interacting with other non straight people. really cute and fun and i think (?) semi-autobiographical (a note says parts of it are based on the author’s life) ???????? (5 chapters; COMPLETED ((website says it’s ongoing but hasn’t updated since 2011 so))

* A Lapis Lazuli Blue Dream (also Azure Dream): An anthology with office women romance, high school sweethearts who have moved on to college, office women who chase the same girl (honey & mustard), a girl in love with a widow who she’s known since she was young (not wild about this one lol), a continuation of 20 year old girl x 30 year old maiden, a doujinshi author who meets one of her fans at her sister’s school festival (again kinda iffy about this one) has small amounts of sexual content. (10 chapters; ONGOING?)

* Renai Joshika: Office ladies romance!! Has prequels and sequels to stuff in a lapis lazuli blue dream. Has sexual content. (9 chapters plus extras; ONGOING?)

My Girlfriend’s Ex-Boyfriend: While sleeping after having sex, the main character’s girlfriend speaks in her sleep and causes the main character to feel uneasy in their relationship and leads to her investigating her girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend and a few misunderstandings. Has sexual content. (longer; ONGOING)

N

Nanashi no Asterism: Three girls who become friends but end up in a love triangle amongst themselves. No real relationship ever occurs but i think i liked this one for the characters and their friendship and the communication between them. Has a sweet but not romantic ending. (23 chapters; COMPLETED)

O

Octave: Former idol falls in love with a music composer. Not my favorite (a lot of focus on sex, girl cheats on her gf with a man at one point), but has some very good moments, well developed characters, and a heavier atmosphere that u might like if u can get thru the rest of it. I think the reason that it made my list despite its faults is because it’s actually long (which is so hard to find) and bc the relationship between the girls changes and develops a lot. Has a lot of sexual content. (36 chapters; COMPLETED)

*Omoi no Kakera: A lesbian school girl who works at a cafe navigates her life and identity while making friends and affecting the lives of other people in her own way. Has other stories that are connected to the main one in different ways that are also very interesting. (15 chapters ??? (too many extras to count lol); COMPLETED)

OTSU HIYORI

she just has some real cute stuff lol

* Your Cuteness: A series of cute oneshots (by the same author as aqua blue cinema) (COMPLETED)

* *Aqua Blue Cinema: When a famous actress is standing on a cliff’s edge, a local girl assumes that she is going to jump and tries to stop her, but just ends up pushing her in. When the actress loses an important necklace, the other girl becomes her personal assistant in order to pay it off. Love love love this one super cute. ?????? (six chapters; COMPLETED)

* Clover - A series of oneshots by the same author as Aqua Blue Cinema that are super sweet. ??????? (7 chapters plus extra; COMPLETED)

P

Partition: Girl who is obsessed with cute things seems to accidentally capture one of her coworker’s embarrassing moments. To get back at her, her coworker snaps a picture of them kissing for blackmail. After that, both of them gain a new awareness for eachother. Seems cute so far and the art is super lovely. No sexual content. (shorter; COMPLETED)

**Pieta: About a girl with an abusive family who struggles with self harm and abandonment issues. She starts an odd sort of relationship with another girl, who also struggles with mental illness. They bond over this and other things and help eachother work through their issues. A little codependent imo but such a beautiful story with incredible contemplative aspects that had me in awe. Especially love bc their relationship is incredibly deep and emotional and only slightly romantic, with a happy ending and that at no point “but we’re both girls!” or homophobia of any sort plays a role is a great added bonus. No sexual content. ((warnings for suicide attempt, self harm, and familial abuse)) (11 chapters counting extras; COMPLETED)

*Plica: Lesbian woman navigates her (love) life after a close friend’s wedding and contemplates on hers and others sexualities. Really cute. Has sexual content. (132 SHORT chapters; COMPLETED)

*Poor Poor Lips: Poor girl comes to work at the power stones shop of a well off lesbian woman. Super super sweet and slow developing and definitely worth the read. Probably one of if not my favorite series on this list. ?????? (75 chapters; COMPLETED)

Pure Marionation: a robot girl going to school and making friends and navigating the life of a high school girl. The art style of this one is not… super choice, but has cute and original concepts that i enjoyed and let me mostly overlook those huge eyes and weirdly molded faces .. has some nudity and some slightly suggestive content but is overall not sexual. (18 chapters; COMPLETED)

R

*Renai Manga: An aspiring manga editor is in charge of the author whose work changed her life. However, she’s completely different from what she thought and, despite being a little dispirited due to that, she grows to respect and enjoy her personality and company. cute and lighthearted!! (8 chapters plus extras; COMPLETED)

S

*Sasameki Koto: Girl in love with her lesbian best friend but unable to make a move bc her friend only likes “cute girls.” SO GOOD, very sweet, 100% recommend. great development, lots of sweet side characters, and overall a great manga. (53 chapters; COMPLETED)

Sayonara Folklore: At a girls school, there is a superstition that if you touch another girl on monday, you must recite a charm or else risk being cursed by two girls who committed a lovers suicide together. However, when a transfer student comes, she seems to disregard this and pull the main character along with her as they break the rules together. Cute art, great ending. There’s some “i’m in love with my sister!” stuff going on that is super misleading but that’s Not how it is. No sexual content. (9 chapters plus extras; COMPLETED)

[blossom-hwa]

How My Ex Got Me a Boyfriend - DOYOUNG

Something I just randomly cooked up in my spare time that’s mostly unedited and probably has a lot of mistakes and doesn’t make sense lmao I mostly just wanted to write something for Doyoung bc I haven’t written anything for him and I bias him which is weird. Just be warned this really probably doesn’t make any sense.

Pairing: Doyoung x fem!reader

Genre: fluff, some angst, college!au

Word Count: 3.4k

Your ex breaks up with you and you spend a whole lot of time crying on your own. Unknowingly though, he helps get you a boyfriend that’s a whole lot better than he is.

NCT Masterlist

You hate him.

You really do.

He coaxed you into giving up your heart, cradled it carefully in his hands, reassured you that he would only nurture and take care of it.

Then he took a knife and cut it into a thousand pieces.

You bury your face in your tear-stained pillow, but you have no more tears to cry. You are absolutely exhausted.

You can’t hate him.

Not now, at least.

There is no mirror near you, but you’re certain you look horrid. You can picture it. Red eyes, puffy cheeks, tear stains, the works. At this point, you don’t really care. You want to do nothing more than lie in your bed and stare at the wall with only that one thought running through your head.

Why?

. . . . .

Your roommate finally convinces you to leave your dorm. Just to get coffee, she says. Nothing more.

So you do.

The drink is warm and comforting, and you take small sips of it as you gaze around the small shop, eyes blank. Your roommate tries to bring you into conversation. You foil her attempts by giving one word answers or staying silent. Usually the latter.

And then he comes in. The one you fell in love with.

With a girl hanging from his arm.

Your roommate notices when you freeze, your hands squeezing your cup and your eyes trained towards the door. She clenches her fist, ready to punch, but you turn your gaze to her, begging her not to cause a scene.

As though in slow motion, he laughs, gazing at the girl with adoration in his eyes. His orbs sweep through the shop, resting on you.

His laugh abruptly stops, his mouth suddenly thinning into a line. You stare back for one moment, and then you grab your cup and flee, your roommate close behind.

In a sick way, you want him to reach out for you, to beg you to come back.

But he doesn’t.

He no longer loves you.

. . . . .

You hold your phone in shaking hands, thumbing through every picture you took together. Scrolling through the countless messages you sent each other.

Every smile, every emoji, every ‘I love you.’

How much of it was fake?

You shut your eyes tight for a moment, steeling yourself for everything you’re about to do next.

Your thumb hovers over the trash can icon. Before you can second-guess yourself, you press down on it, then ‘select all’, then ‘okay.’

A choked sob escapes your lips as you see all the memories being sucked away right before your eyes. Tears blur your vision as you navigate to the messaging app next.

Each conversation, one by one, goes into the trash. You don’t leave behind a single one.

Then you block his number. And you delete his contact.

New Year’s is for fresh starts, isn’t it? Better start now.

You curl up on your bed, hoping you’ll move on.

. . . . .

Weeks pass. You see him every so often in the campus halls, sometimes in the cafeteria, sometimes in the coffee shop. Each time he so much as looks in your direction, you speed off quickly.

Which results in you forgetting to pay for your hot chocolate one day.

The barista chases you out into the cold, grabbing your wrist and turning you around. “Sorry, Miss, but you forgot to pay for your drink.”

You blink once, then twice, finally registering what he said. “Sorry. I’ll come in and pay now.”

You really don’t want to, because he’s still in there. Probably with his girlfriend, considering it’s Valentine’s Day. But you need to pay and you’re not a horrible person, so you follow the barista indoors again.

Once inside, you fumble with your wallet, finally producing a few bills that cover the cost. “Sorry again,” you mumble, looking up at the barista.

Wow, you think, he looks a lot like a bunny.

It’s cute.

He grins slightly, handing you your change. “It’s alright. Enjoy your hot chocolate.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you see your ex turn to you just as you push out of the shop.

No time for him today.

. . . . .

He approaches you on your birthday when your roommate takes you out for Chinese to celebrate.

Needless to say, you aren’t very happy, but you let him talk anyway.

Needless to say, all he says is absolute bullshit, and you don’t know why you let him talk.

“Look,” you finally say, holding out a hand. “I’m getting over you. I don’t want you in my life anymore. You have a girl now, someone obviously much better than me, so I don’t get why you’re talking to me. Also, it’s my birthday. Please leave me alone.”

Needless to say, he doesn’t comply with your request and he follows your path back to your roommate until you finally snap and punch him in the nose.

He reels, a hand covering his face, and begins shouting obscenities. You are crying now, angry tears streaming down your face as he grabs your wrist and starts yelling in your face.

“It’s my birthday, you douche, and all I wanted to do was have a nice celebration but of course you fucking ruined it like you ruin everything!” you finally scream, wrenching your wrist out of his hand. He stops yelling, probably surprised at your sudden burst of outrage.

“Fucking leave me alone!” You storm off to where your roommate is waiting for you, a worried expression on your face. One glance behind tells you he’s still following.

You are seeing red.

You whip around, ready to hit him again, but the appearance of the cute barista from a couple weeks ago stops you. He walks up, narrowing his eyes, scrutinizing the situation before him.

Your ex comes up, obviously not having noticed the barista. “Can we just talk, Y/N?” he pleads, as though he wasn’t just spewing colorful words and saliva into your face.

“No,” you snap, “I fucking let you talk and this is where it fucking-” “I still care about you, Y/N, I’m-”

“If you cared about me you would fucking leave me alone like I asked!”

The barista suddenly pulls your ex away, turning him to face him instead. “Didn’t she ask you to leave her alone?” he asks quietly, all the cheer you saw in the coffee shop wiped clean and replaced with only anger and impatience.

Your ex spits. “And who the fuck are you?” he snarls, trying to look intimidating. Your roommate snorts.

“I don’t need to answer your question if you won’t answer mine. Now if you don’t mind, she asked you to leave, and you being here is clearly ruining her day. I suggest you leave before something worse happens. Namely her punching you in the face again because I certainly would love to watch that.” An amused smile plays at his lips as he glances at you.

Your ex growls and storms off, leaving you almost dizzy with relief.

“Thank you so much,” you say. He flashes you a bright grin. “No problem. I saw he was bothering you and you looked really upset. That first punch was amazing too.”

You try to hide your smile.

He sticks out a hand. “Kim Dongyoung. But if you want, you can call me Doyoung. All my friends do anyway.”

Hesitantly, you take it. “Y/N. Nice to meet you formally.”

The bright grin stays on his face. “Nice to meet you too.”

. . . . .

You don’t actively seek out Doyoung (okay, maybe you do sometimes), but he always seems to find you. He apparently goes to your university as well and studies law. The law and engineering campuses are relatively close, so you wonder how you never saw him before.

Your ex continues to bother you, but Doyoung always seems to pop up whenever he’s going too far. He tells you time and time again to get a restraining order but you always roll your eyes and punch his arm, sometimes making him spill his coffee.

Doyoung introduces you to the rest of his friends, and apparently your roommate gets really into one of them named Yuta. You and Doyoung manage to set them up and they start dating, the rest of you rooting for them on the side.

Doyoung doesn’t often ask about your ex, but when he does, you tell the truth. One day, he asks you how you feel about your experience with him. You have to think about that one.

“I don’t regret the first year or so with him. I think we both genuinely liked each other then. After that, though, I regret everything. He was the worst mistake I ever made, and trust me, I’ve made some big mistakes.” You bring your knees up to your chest, resting your chin on them.

Doyoung hums in response, patting your head. “Is his new girl nice?” he asks. You shrug as best you can. “I don’t know her well, but she seems to genuinely like him. He better not break her heart as well or I’ll come after him. She seems pretty sweet.”

A sigh comes from beside you, and Doyoung flops down on the grass. “Yeah. She was my best friend. We grew apart in uni though.”

The way he speaks of her makes you question the words ‘best friend.’ “You sure she was just your best friend?” You can’t help the question.

He looks up at you, then the sky, then sighs again. “I liked her for some time. I got over it though.”

“After how long?”

“Few years.”

“Mistake or not?”

Doyoung is silent for a couple minutes.

“Yeah.”

. . . . .

When you see them making out in the hallway, you close your eyes in disgust and shudder for a moment before a hand grabs your arm.

Doyoung pulls you away, revulsion in his own eyes as you two stalk down the hall. “Disgusting,” he mutters. You nod in agreement.

It kind of hurts, though. A few months ago you were with him and then when you broke up you cried a river for a good few weeks. He seems to have completely moved on, save for his attempts at reaching out to you.

The last time he pulled you over he went on about how sorry he was and that you guys just weren’t right for each other and that he was sure you’d meet the right person and blah blah blah. You walked away before he finished and didn’t look back.

“Ice cream?” Doyoung offers, jerking you out of your memories. “Sure. Where’s Sicheng?” The cute Chinese ice-cream-loving transfer pops up in your mind, making you smile. Doyoung’s mouth curls up in a half grin. “I’d bring him along but he’d probably somehow wheedle one of us into buying him ice cream. I don’t have the money for that.”

You pout but recognize the truth in his words. “D’you like Sicheng or something?” Doyoung asks casually as you enter the ice cream shop.

You roll your eyes and laugh. “Nah. He’s like a brother to me. Annoying but still sweet. No romantic interest. Plus, I think he and Yuta are in some nutty relationship because my roommate constantly complains about Yuta bringing him along on their dates and her basically third-wheeling.”

Doyoung snorts, scanning the flavors of ice cream. “Yuta and Sicheng are like platonic soulmates. Good luck to your roommate trying to get them apart.”

You sit in the shop, eating your ice cream as you talk about school, pets, personal life, anything.

“Y/N, you’ve got ice cream on the side of your mouth,” he suddenly says, tapping his own mouth. You grimace and wipe it off. “Thanks.” You wipe your hands on a napkin nearby. “Anyway, what were we talking about again?”

“Professor Lee. She’s such a bitch, I can’t even.” Doyoung rambles on and on about this hated professor who seems to have a personal vendetta against him while you nod and sympathize. “She sounds exactly like Professor Jung. He hates me. I don’t know why. I just stay silent in his class so I can’t have done anything wrong,” you say, launching into your own spiel on why you hate Professor Jung.

In the middle of your bitchfest, your ex comes in with his girlfriend, laughing about something or the other. “Why’re they here now?” Doyoung whispers, throwing them a look. You glance at your phone, internally shrieking because why didn’t you realize the date.

“It’s his birthday,” you mutter, “and he likes ice cream. Figures.” Doyoung makes a face. “We should go then.” He stands up and you do as well, grabbing your cone.

It’s as though it happens in slow motion. Your ex’s girlfriend pushes him lightly in jest, making him skid backwards slightly right into your path of movement. Your ice cream splatters against your clothes, leaving a mess on your blouse, and you find yourself pressed against Doyoung’s chest, his hand clutching your arm tightly.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” your ex says, staring at your shirt. Embarrassed and kind of pissed, you mutter a quick “It’s fine” before straightening up. You roll your eyes, heading straight to the counter for some napkins and you start dabbing at the shirt.

You don’t hear whatever your ex’s girlfriend is trying to say and you brush away her attempts to help. Maybe it’s selfish of you but you really don’t feel like dealing with your ex’s girl at all. Ever.

Doyoung closes his hand over yours, halting it from dabbing at your shirt even more. He shrugs off his jacket, placing it over you. “Let’s go,” he murmurs in your ear, leading you out of the shop.

Just before you leave, you turn back and stare your ex in the eye. “Happy birthday,” you deadpan as blankly as possible before turning around and following Doyoung out.

“You wanna go back to your dorm?” he asks, looking down at you. You nod. “Sure.”

Are you the only one whose heart quickens when his fingers latch onto yours?

(Interesting fact: no, you aren’t.)

. . . . .

You like Doyoung. There is no question about it.

Whenever he comes near you, your heart races. When he pats your head or holds your hand, your stomach flutters.

You tell your roommate, and she agrees. You definitely like him.

Only you don’t know if he likes you back.

It is summer. You decide not to go home for break because your parents have expressed a desire to travel around, so you leave them be. Instead, you stay on campus. Your roommate goes to Japan with Yuta (you personally think they’re moving a bit fast but hey, that’s your opinion). Doyoung and most of his other friends stay at uni.

You end up hanging out with them more often, becoming close friends with Sicheng and Taeyong in particular. Sicheng is like the brother you never had, and Taeyong is like your mom. Doyoung, of course, remains one of your best friends.

Sicheng, with his slippery mouth, ends up spilling that Doyoung may or may not like you one night when he’s not around. You snort and smack his head. “Sure.”

“Don’t you like him though?” Sicheng asks, confused. You cringe and nod. “Then talk to him!”

“Oh my God, Sicheng, it’s not that easy,” you groan, flopping on your couch.

“Yes it is. Now you better get together by the end of this month or I’ll tell him myself. Got it?”

You punch his arm. “You tell him and you go to the hospital. Try me bitch.”

Doyoung and you skirt around each other for the rest of break.

. . . . .

You can’t help but hear a twinge of satisfaction when you hear that she cheated on your ex.

You’re not sorry. Now he knows how you felt.

His attempts to talk to you increase, though, and you find yourself avoiding him even more. Doyoung and his friends help, managing to pull you out of increasingly uncomfortable conversations.

One night, he bangs on your door drunkenly and tells you he’s outside and wants to talk.

You say no.

He says he’s coming up.

You panic.

Your roommate isn’t here, you’re not sure if your RA is even awake, and the only defense between you and him is the locked door.

So you call Doyoung, even though it’s near midnight. For some reason, he answers.

“Y/N?”

“S-sorry for calling you this late but my roommate’s out with Yuta and I’m not sure if my RA is awake because my ex is banging on my door right now so can you like come over or something?” The words leave you in a panicked rush as the banging gets louder.

“I’m coming right now.” Doyoung’s voice is remarkably alert all of a sudden. “I’ll be there in ten minutes. Call me if anything goes wrong.”

You nod, then remember he can’t see you. “Sure.” You hang up, flinching at a particularly loud bang.

“Y/N, open up!” Your ex’s voice floats through the door, accentuated by more pounding. You don’t answer, opting to bite your nails instead.

Five, then eight, then nine minutes pass.

Doyoung, please come, you plead internally.

“Dude, what are you doing?” The familiar voice you’ve grown so accustomed to finally rings out, disgust in his tone.

“You’re that stupid barista,” your ex growls back.

You can imagine Doyoung rolling his eyes. “Why, yes, I am. Why are you banging on Y/N’s door? It’s midnight. What do you expect to accomplish?”

You creep across the room, pressing your ear to the door to hear better. “None of your business,” your ex says menacingly.

There is a tense silence, and in that moment, you grow frightened enough for Doyoung’s safety to open the door. The two men stare back at you, your ex all up in Doyoung’s face already.

“What do you want,” you state flatly, looking at your ex.

“Why’d you block my number?” He sways drunkenly and you almost reflexively grab his arm.

“Because you’re a jerk and I wanted to cut you out of my life. Now can you leave?” You cross your arms.

“Bitch. Who’s he?” Your ex jerks a thumb at Doyoung, nearly hitting him in the nose.

Your answer surprises even you. “My boyfriend. Now get out or I’ll get the RA.” You pull Doyoung into your dorm by the wrist and slam the door.

“Oh God,” you immediately whimper, collapsing against Doyoung’s chest. “Thank you so much.”

He pats your head. “No problem. Was he drunk? He sounded drunk.” You pull away and nod. “I’m pretty sure he was.”

You both sit on your small couch, you leaning on his shoulder.

Doyoung breaks the silence first. “You told him I was your boyfriend,” he says.

You cringe. “Yeah. Sorry about that. We can just forget that moment if you want.”

“No, no, it’s okay! I was… just surprised. And a little happy, I guess,” he adds quietly. You hear, though. “Happy?”

This time, he reddens. More like his ears redden. “I… kinda want to be your boyfriend. As in I like you.”

You nearly fall off the couch. “So Sicheng wasn’t lying,” you blurt out without thinking. Doyoung raises an eyebrow. “Sicheng?”

You groan. “Sicheng said you liked me earlier in summer. I didn’t believe him. And, uh, I really like you back. I made him swear not to tell.” You pull away, covering your face.

Doyoung lets out a laugh. “Cute,” he says, bringing you closer.

“Guess I have to thank my ex now,” you murmur, “for getting me a better boyfriend.”

“Speaking of your ex,” Doyoung says, “you’ve got to get a restraining order on him.” You snort. “I’ll wait a bit and see if he even remembers anything tomorrow. If he does, well, now he feels what I felt when we broke up.”

“Don’t tell me you drank yourself silly.” Doyoung runs a hand through your hair as you roll your eyes. “No, I didn’t. I cried for about a month though.” You cringe, remembering those horrible days.

“No need to cry now, Doyoungie’s here,” he says in a high voice, making you sputter with laughter. “Oh, quit.” You bat at his shoulder. “It’s cute though,” he says, returning to his normal voice.

You smile. “I guess so.”

[bxebxee]

and what a way to go

Note: written for @jeonalis because i love my college girl <3 Based on THIS THING. Names of gadgets and widgets and places and things cheerfully borrowed from all the nerd stuff I used to love many years ago. Mostly Ratchet and Clank though. I think there was also an unintentional fight club reference, but i’ve never seen the movie and have no desire to do so either. Points if you spot all the random nerd stuff I put in there.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader Genre: Crack, Sci-Fi, Smut Lite (Diet Smut a.k.a. Lazy Smut) Warnings: it’s crack. it’s (bad, lazy) porn. Ah, actually there’s some physical violence. Word Count: 4225 Rating: BC, for bad crack.

*

“I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” you tell Jungkook.

“Excuse me?” he splutters.

“You heard the woman,” Jimin eggs him on.

“Hit me,” you dare.

*

Good entertainment is hard to come by in the Year of Our Lord 3333. Jungkook warily orders his holo-projector to turn off the hyper-realistic porn of two human women tribbing because it’s a re-run, and he’s used up his free trial of the sensory package. Somehow actually smelling the sex and experiencing mild neuro-stimulating jolts at key points of the adult film really made the whole porn watching experience better. Anything less was just depressing. 

“Did you shut that shit off?” Yoongi asks from outside Jungkook’s bedroom. The door being shut is a clear indication that Masturbatory Events were happening, so the older human boy has learned to not even bother knocking. 

Jungkook heaves a sigh because he doesn’t even have a boner. “Yeah,” he answers glumly. 

“Is your junk tucked in?” 

“It wasn’t out to begin with.” 

The bedroom door opens with a force that only comes from a person seeking to pick a fight. Yoongi frowns at Jungkook’s unmoving, prone figure. “You do know that your holo-projector is still connected to the amplifier downstairs, right?” 

Jungkook bolts out of his bed, face drawn into a comically horrified picture of contrition and shame. “Uh...” And Yoongi’s girlfriend was over too. He’s dead. More than dead. Deader than dead. 

“Lucky for you my girlfriend found it hot and a little bit funny, but seriously...” 

This is mortifying, and Jungkook swears he needs to move out as soon as possible - except he’s still broke and fixing hovercrafts from time to time wasn’t any way to make a steady living. 

“Sorry,” he grimaces, and scratches the back of his head with a sigh. “I’ll... leave you guys to it then.” (He tries his best not to look her in the eye when she leaves. She fucking waves though. Weird.) 

It is 127% because of boredom that he finds himself “borrowing” (read: taking without consent) Yoongi’s mobile airship for the express purpose of hyperwarping to Abraxas-II for a night of wild, youthful revelry. Much to his roommate-slash-employer’s dismay, Jungkook has no qualms about contributing to the statistics of bored young human boys wreaking havoc across the galaxy. If not now, then when? Humans did have one of the lowest life expectancies around, and he wasn’t going to wait until he was pushing fifty-five and seeking cryo-regenification to have a little fun. 

“Warning, impending destruction of Abraxas-II,” the Computer tells him twenty minutes into hyperwarp. “Recalculating.” 

What the actual fuck. Jungkook takes out his limited edition communicator designed in the tradition of old-school, earth-class cellular devices from the early 21st century. Thankfully he still has signal. At least the UMN was doing something good for the galaxy. 

BREAKING: LARGE METEOR IMPACT TO DESTROY “SIN PLANET” ABRAXAS-II - says the headlines. Almost immediately, there are op-ed interviews from Voths and Cragmites who loved to, colloquially speaking, talk shit about everyone else - especially anyone else having fun. Jungkook suspects it’s not some freak meteor because the live feed of the impending destruction shows the “meteor” looks a lot like an intentional laser beam coming from an ominous-looking ship. 

“Changing course to Abraxas-X,” the Computer lets him know in a cheery voice. “Estimated time of arrival: seventeen minutes.”

“Uh, Computer, I think I’d rather just go home,” Jungkook tells the ship’s control mainframe. 

“Unable to execute command. Due to the projected debris fallout from Abraxas-II’s destruction, all routes back to HOME are closed until further notice from the Federation. We Apologize For The Inconvenience.” 

Yoongi will kill him for real this time. 

*

“Did you hear? It’s Abraxas-II this time,” Jimin remarks, wrapping his hand in bandages for the fight tonight. As his “fling for the night” you were allowed in the locker rooms by a creepy looking Agorian guard. 

You roll your eyes because of course you heard about the “meteor” about to destroy another planet. The Federation really needed to get their act together. And where was Captain Qwark when you needed him? 

“Don’t get distracted, baby boy,” you smirk, completely ignoring his question in favor of sticking to a topic you actually cared about - money. “Tonight is a toss-up.” 

You and Jimin played dirty when it came to Abraxas-X’s infamous underground fighting cages. It was a pretty simple scam: Jimin fought based on a pre-determined strategy and you either bet for or against him depending on how it was supposed to go. Sometimes it made more sense to dope up on nanotech painkilers and lose on purpose, and you made sure to bet high and reckless on those days. 

Win or lose, you and Jimin always made sure to come out on top. Sometimes though, Jimin faced odd toss-ups like the one for tonight, V, and you had to bet carefully based on Jimin’s condition. 

“I think it’ll be a win for tonight,” Jimin decides, handing you the vial of unused nanotech. And herein lie the loophole that allowed for your cute little scam: officials only checked the winners to see who’s doping. Never the losers. This made it easy for Jimin to inject, inhale, and rub as much nano into his system on Lose Nights so that he could take a beating and come out normal the next morning. 

“If you say so,” you hum, “And be safe.” 

The Agorian guard opens the door, and Jimin pulls you into a kiss fit for the pay-per-view holo-channels. “Fight’s starting soon, lovebirds.” 

“Thanks for the hot sex, baby,” you laugh at a smirking Jimin, waving as you exit. “I’ll be cheering for you.”

*

Jungkook nearly pisses his pants when he gets to Abraxas-X because it’s the furthest thing from Abraxas-II. For one, it’s fucking cold and snowing, unlike Abraxas-II’s modulated temperature system where it was always tropical year round. He’s ridiculously under-dressed for this climate, but that doesn’t mean he can afford to planet hop until he gets somewhere warmer. He’s running out of hyperwarp fuel, and his communicator’s battery is nearly dead. 

For another, it’s pretty much deserted along the landing site in a scary, dystopian kind of way. 

“Oh fuck me,” he says, but it sounds more like, “Oh-hoh, fuc-c-c-ck, m-me-hee,” because his teeth clack from the cold. 

He has a good seven percent battery left which he uses to shiver his way towards civilization. The first group of parka-adorned humanoids he enounters looks at him as if he’s a fucking Cragmite. 

“What’s up,” Jungkook smiles in what he hopes to be something more winsome and not pained. “Hey, can you guys direct me to the closest Gadgetron vendor? My communicator is about to die.” 

Parka One points to a cave with a fading sign that reads COLOSSEUM, as if the anguished shouts and curses weren’t frightening enough.

“I don’t know if they sell communicators though,” Parka Two tell him. “The guy’s an ex-RYNO dealer.” 

What the fuck was this planet even? 

“Th-thank you.” Jungkook prays it’s warmer inside. 

*

“No Foul.”

You glare at the referee who refuses to call a foul on that shout. That V fighter asshole is very good at getting in potshots that look legal, and you don’t like it one bit. Jimin is getting his ass handed to him on a rusty copper platter, and you’re more than a little pissed off that you just bet a whole week’s income on this. 

V, or whatever his fucking name was, actually has the nerve to wink at you. Apparently he thinks you’re Jimin’s fuck toy, and he’s trying to use playground tactics to piss off your “boyfriend” into making mistakes in the ring. Well, the joke is on you because neither Jimin nor you cared two shits about taunting, and Jimin was still losing. 

Your gaze shifts to your partner in crime who shakes his head. He should have taken the fucking nano. 

You nod slowly while tucking your hair behind your left ear and blink three, distinct times. The message is there: Next round, submission, tap out. It would be a loss for tonight, but at least Jimin wouldn’t be too injured. 

In a fit of annoyance you leave the crowd and make your way towards the exit. 

“You don’t accept bolts?” comes an incredulous voice by the entrance next to Jeff, the Gadgetron vendor. “How could you possibly not accept bolts?” 

“Sorry, my sexy, muscular, human macho man,” Jeff purrs, “It’s either munny, gil, or credits. I don’t live in the stone ages of bolts.” 

You blink when you see a human man fuming at the way Jeff condescendingly refuses to sell him a communicator battery pack. Humans were rare in these parts, so you’re a little taken aback to see one standing at the entrance of the Colosseum wearing nothing but a thin t-shirt and a pair of black pants that looked like they were painted onto his skin. 

“My friend, no- my boss is going to kill me unless I get in touch with him, and I literally only have three percent battery. This Abraxas-II bullshit is really-” 

“Oh honey, everyone is inconvenienced by Abraxas-II,” Jeff smiles, knowing a wallet when he sees one. 

Unfortunately for Jeff, you also know a wallet when you see one too, and that guy with the nice thighs looks like he could do some serious damage in the ring. You want him - for your scam, of course. 

“Oh Jeff,” you call out in sing-song voice, hastily shrugging off your parka and pulling down your top. 

“Whaddya want?” 

“A communicator battery pack,” you answer with a cute smile and a wink in the human guy’s direction. 

“Five hundred credits-”

You give him a long look. “Jeff.”

“Abraxas-II-”

“Don’t,” you warn, balling your fist. 

“Two hundred,” he replies meekly, and you pay him using your card. 

You accept the battery pack and promptly hand it over to the human who’s looking at you in awe. Hook, line, and sinker. And for your next act, you turn away saucily and head for the locker rooms, even though that’s exactly where you came from. You’re pretty sure the pretty boy wouldn’t notice. 

“Hey wait,” comes his voice, and you can’t help but to smile because it’s all so predictable. “Wait, what’s your name?” 

“Like that’s important,” you laugh, shooting him a flirtatious look. “You got your battery. Go make your call.” 

You walk into the crowds once more just in time to see Jimin tap out with a sour look on his face. He looks surprised to see you still here because he thought you would have just left. 

“What the hell is this place?” the human next to you exhales, looking around in awe. 

“Welcome to the Pits of Abraxas-X,” you grin. “People beat each other up here for money.” As if it weren’t obvious. 

“Well fuck.”

*

“Jungkook, Jimin. Jimin, Jungkook,” you make the introductions in a careless fashion as Jimin ices his bruises. You hand him a vial of nano with a frown. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jungkook mutters, eyeing Jimin’s black eye warily. 

“Yeah, whatever,” you brush the niceties aside, “Now that we all know each other and seeing as we’re all in the at-least-fifty-percent-human club, let’s get down to business.” 

“Wait what?” Jungkook frowns, looking at you with a giant question mark on his face. He only followed you in here because he thought you were hot and maybe (just maybe) on the slim chance that you might blow him in some seedy locker room. 

“First of all, you owe me two hundred credits plus tax,” you inform Jungkook who looks like he swallowed a lemon. “Second of all, if you came in here in an airship, you’ll need hyperwarp fuel, which is expensive as fuck on this planet.” 

Jungkook gulps. 

“Oh, unless your boss can wire you two thousand credits of course,” you smile sweetly. 

“Two Thousand,” Jungkook hiccups. 

“Lucky for you I have a plan,” you continue, ignoring the way Jimin groans. “My fighter is going to be out of commission for the pits until the nano’s out of his system, and I’m already in the negatives for this week.” 

“So what’s your plan?” Jungkook asks, already getting a sense as to where this is going. 

“You are the plan, Jungkook,” you tell him, “I need you to play substitute for Jimin for about a week. Can you do that?”

And even you ask him, you’re not really asking him. You’re practically ordering Jungkook to be Jimin’s substitute. The “or else” doesn’t even need to be said because the guy has no other options. He’s stranded here anyway, in desperate need of cash to escape and already two hundred credits in debt with yours truly. 

“I don’t know how to fight,” he sighs glumly, “I’m gonna get beat up a lot, huh?” 

Your gaze drifts to his thighs and his biceps. “Jungkook, I think with a little training you should be okay. But yeah, you’re going to get wailed on.” 

He looks terrified so you amend your statement. “Ah, you’re not going to feel any of it though. You just have to act like you’re in pain.” 

“What?” he gasps. 

You hold up a fresh bottle of nano. “I love biotechnology and messing around with this shit,” you giggle, “Everyone reacts differently to nano, but for humans, it’s found to be particularly good at repairing physical damage. That’s why it’s illegal in most fighting communities.” 

Jungkook lets out a small, choked sound because not only was nano injections illegal in “fighting communities,” this shit was also illegal in five hundredish out of six hundredish planets in the Federation. Whole Planets have outlawed this substance, including his home world. 

“It’s safe,” you guess, “From my experience.” 

And Jungkook does not know what to say because it’s either get beat up by alien uglies without nano, or get beat up with nano. Yoongi would probably tell him to “just say no to drugs” but Yoongi wasn’t the one facing a just-under-five-foot terror in the shape of a human girl. 

“How can I trust you?” he asks, attempting to sound cool. 

And you really have to laugh because he’s too cute. “You don’t get out very much, do you?” you smirk, shaking the tube of nano before injecting it straight into a vein in your forearm. 

“Here we go,” Jimin snorts, watching the two of you share in Prime Banter. Jungkook almost forgot the older human man was even there. 

You let the nano filter through your system, and it’s quick because you’ve done it so many times now. “I want you to hit me as hard as you can,” you tell Jungkook. 

“Excuse me?” he splutters. 

“You heard the woman,” Jimin eggs him on. 

“Hit me,” you dare. 

“Wha- I- I can’t hit a girl!” Jungkook finally spits out. 

“Cute,” Jimin rolls his eyes. “If you won’t, I will.” 

And Jungkook, bless that boy, actually steps in between you and Jimin. “No, dude,” he says in his best strongman voice. “It’s not right.” 

“She has a million little robot things currently filling up her entire body waiting to repair even the slightest bit of damage,” Jimin explains as if he’s talking to a little kid. 

“She is right here,” you remind the boys, tapping Jungkook’s shoulder. He turns around and you promptly wack him across the face. “And she is still waiting for that hit, Jungkook.” 

Jungkook to his credit really doesn’t like getting physical. He was kind of lying when he said he didn’t fight because he did learn some human fighting techniques growing up, and he could hold his own in a bar brawl. But that was always up against human fighters, never stronger, weirder aliens that could potentially kill him. 

You piss him off though. He realizes belatedly that you probably paid for his battery pack on purpose, and he’s beyond annoyed because if there’s one thing he hates, it’s being used.

“You wanna get hit so bad?” he challenges through gritted teeth, and you nod. 

“Go for it, baby,” you tease, crooking your finger in a crude, pseudo-sexual gesture. “Give me your best shot-” 

Jungkook steps back, engaging in a standard stance and rears his leg up to kick you square in chin. The force of the blow has you slamming into the lockers, the loud metallic sound ringing through the cramped space. You’re dizzy and disoriented, but you don’t feel a damn thing other than excited. 

“Oh,” you sigh, mouth curving into a satisfied smile, “Oh, fuck, you’re good.” 

Jungkook doesn’t have a damn clue what to say. 

*

Jimin takes a day to teach him how to play Wounded Warrior in the pits, and you take another day to teach him the ins and outs of Coliseum etiquette, frequently encountered alien species, and about Abraxas-X in general. 

Jungkook is thankful that Yoongi is more worried about him being stranded on a foreign planet rather than angry at his missing mobile airship. 

“Sorry,” Jungkook apologizes for the fifth time. “I really, really fucked up.” 

Yoongi doesn’t disagree. “Yeah, but you’re safe. And you’ll find a way of getting back. Just don’t die.” 

“I’ll try my best,” Jungkook sighs, depressed out of his mind when he hangs up. His first fight is tonight, and while you’ve gone over the plan with him a million times, he still can’t get rid of the jittery feeling that he’s going to ruin everything. 

“You’re actually perfect, you know,” you tell Jungkook. “See, you look really built and like you’d totally kick everyone’s asses. And they’re gonna bet that way. But you’re going to lose, Jungkook. You’re going to take the hits and get on the ground.” 

“Can’t wait,” he deadpans. 

“Good,” you smile cheerfully, ignoring his willful attempts to be sullen, “Because my estimations show that we’re going to make about five hundred credits tonight.” 

Jungkook whips his head towards you from the news. Five hundred? that only meant four nights of this could lead to his freedom. 

“Don’t get too excited, champ,” you tell him as you pat him on the shoulder. “It’s five hundred divided by three.” 

“Three?” 

“Jimin’s cut of course.” You don’t leave your friends out of a cut, even if he did fuck things up with V. 

Jungkook looks like he might cry. 

*

The first thing Jungkook notices about the ring is that it smells bad. It smells like the time when Yoongi’s Markazian ex-girlfriend’s cat-looking pet climbed into the exhaust vent of their repair shop and never came back out. They had searched, and searched for that annoying little beast, and they finally found it from the stench of the rotting corpse. 

Likewise, it smelled like rotting organisms here. 

Jungkook wants to throw up from the smell and from the nerves. The nano is in his system, and it feel kind of itchy and akin to someone tickling him from the inside. His opponent is an eight-feet tall Agorian boxer. Fuck Everything. 

“You can do it, sexy!” you shout from the crowd, playing your part of adoring pit fangirl. The funny thing is that you’re not the only one yelling these sentiments to him. There are other pit girls screaming their love for Jungkook even though this is his literal first time making an appearance. 

To be completely honest, you didn’t blame them one bit. 

The horn sounds, and the Agorian charges at Jungkook. And instead of cowering, Jungkook charges right back, much to your surprise. 

“Oh,” you gasp, eyes widening when he draws first blood, using the same kick he used to hit you with on the Agorian. 

Jungkook’s opponent is unfazed, and sends a killer right hook at Jungkook’s side. The blow sounds painful and like it hit a bone from the nasty crunching sound. You can see Jungkook’s confusion because he heard the sound, and he felt the force from the blow, but there was also a distinct lack of pain. 

The surprise fades nearly instantaneously and you only notice it because you were looking for a flaw in his acting skills. Jungkook launches into the routine Jimin trained him on - rolling on the floor in pain. The referee blows his whistle and it’s all over. 

The fangirls mope around you. 

“It’s his first time,” one of them says. 

“Yeah,” another one agrees. 

“He’ll get better. He has to. I mean look at him.” 

You smirk when you see the referee shake his head and signal to the official that this match is over by TKO. Keep dreaming girls, you think. This is your house. 

*

“Payday,” you smile, handing over Jungkook’s cut of the winnings. 

Jungkook’s eyes go wide at the number. All that for taking a punch to his ribs? 

“Good job out there,” you compliment. “Couldn’t have done it without you.” 

Jungkook wonders if he should even feel proud of this, but it does feel nice to have done something to work towards a goal. 

“I have to say I was surprised though,” you comment, “I didn’t think you’d charge at Ortax the Merciless like that.” 

“Just reflex,” Jungkook mutters shyly. He doesn’t really know why he did it either. 

You wink, and watch as Jungkook’s ears go red in front of you. “It was a nice touch. Got the bets going up in your favor for a short while.” You pause, wondering if you say the next thing on your mind for all of three seconds before deciding that life was too short to play it safe. “It was fucking sexy.” 

Jungkook blinks owlishly. 

“Goodnight handsome. Take your vitamins.” 

*

Jungkook continues the losing for two more days until he’s matched up with V. 

You frown at the match up because you can’t tell what kind of alien V is because he looks so humanoid, but he’s not completely homosapiens either. His eyes and reflexes give everything away. 

“You have to win this one,” you tell him point blank. 

“Are you nuts?” 

You shake your head. “You have to. We lost the shock factor of people betting for you. Now people are going to bet against you, and even if you lose it’s not going to make a difference money-wise. You have to win for us to collect the winnings from tonight.” 

Jungkook swallows. “That means no nano.” 

“Nope,” you confirm. “You go in cold. And you have to win.” 

“Gee, thanks for not putting any pressure on me,” Jungkook sighs. 

You don’t have the luxury of feeling bad because your rent is kind of past due. “Jungkook, let me put it this way,” you start, “If you win, that means you’ll probably have enough money to back to your home planet.” 

“Where Yoongi will murder me,” Jungkook nods. He’s pouting again. 

Your heart warms at how his expression is in direct contrast to how his body looks cut up and bruised from the fights he’s had in the past few days. Jungkook’s handsome, baby face is so incredibly juxtaposed on his toned fighter’s body in the best way possible. 

“You’ll get another thing if you win,” you start, biting your lip and sitting down next to him. 

“What?” 

“I’ll kiss your boo-boos better,” you mutter into his ear. It’s a come-on, obviously. 

Jungkook swallows thickly when he sees your suggestive expression. “Like a blowjob?” he asks. 

“Yes,” you answer, opting for simplicity. 

*

Jungkook wins.

*

Jimin is not expecting this at all. He’s finally recovered from his fight with V, and after getting a text announcing Jungkook’s victory, he supposes a little congratulations is in order for the youngest in your group of scammers. Jimin breaks out the Ogre Killer from his stash of Serious Liquors, and makes his way towards the locker rooms where Jungkook and you would no doubt be high-fiving it up. 

He sees the Agorian guards with their ears pressed against the door when he arrives. 

“Uh-”

“Can you shut up?” Agorian A hisses, ear pressed firmly on the metal. 

“Fuck, I just heard her slurp,” Agorian B giggles. 

Agorian A glares at Jimin. “I missed the slurp because of you.” 

“Slurp?” Jimin questions. Without a word, they unlock the door for Jimin to enter, and he sees you on kneeling on the floor with a mouthful of Jungkook’s dick. 

The younger man’s attention is entirely focused on you, but you manage to make a sideways eye-contact with Jimin. 

“Shut the door,” Jimin orders, glaring at the guards. 

Jungkook gasps when he hears Jimin’s voice, but you pull him back to concentrate on you when you pull away to suck at the tip of his penis. 

“Jungkook was really good today,” you laugh, laving your tongue against the underside of his cock. “He beat V.” 

“So I heard,” Jimin replies, taking a seat on a bench and staring at the image in front of him. “Just to clarify, you texted me so that I could watch you suck his dick, correct?” 

“Correct,” you answer. 

“Correct? What the fuck?” Jungkook moans. You suck him in deep and let him hit the back of your throat. And just to add a little spice, you fake a gag. “Fuck!”

You make him cum in about sixty seconds. 

*

*

*

(Later: “What do you mean you’re staying in Abraxas-X?” Yoongi hisses over speaker. He calms down only marginally after Jungkook tell him he just wired him money for the mobile airship. That wasn’t even the point? This Kid!)

[justkpopjokes]

#AU 1 with 정Hannie please? ♥️

Ft. Jeonghan

AU: Arranged Marriage (From this list)

A/N: This is different than my other arranged marriage AUs, because the “arranged marriage” part is…different…I hope you still like it! Also SORRY FOR DELAY WITH ALL THESE SCENARIOS BUT I FINALLY GOT HOME FROM MY TRIP AND MY PC MAKES EDITING EASIER THANK GOD

WARNING: DEPRESSION AND ATTEMPTED-SUICIDE

You and Jeonghan

Friends in middle school

You weren’t necessarily best friends at the time, but this incident brought you guys closer

First of all Jeonghan wants to be your close friend

He thinks you’re nice, but it’s kind of awkward for you to be together all the time

One day you were having a small chat during passing period

People in the hallway were teasing Jeonghan for liking you

He’s tired as usual he just wants to take a nap tho he just ignores them

Classic sleepy Hannie

Except you see it as an opportunity

So a lot of these people like you and have obvious (annoying) crushes on you

So you just say

“Yeah he’s nice to me, we’re getting married at 22 if we don’t get married to anyone else. He wouldn’t want to be on my bad side”

Yeah just nonchalantly bring up marriage

People are stunned

But you just drag a smirking Jeonghan to class

“So you’re my future spouse now?”

“I mean sure, lol it was a joke but why not?”

Chillest way to announce a marriage ;)

Now obviously since you guys are in middle school, most people don’t take it seriously but got what you meant, so the guys who liked you stopped being so nagging

Except your friend who was ready to get you both on a date but that’s not important

No but you guys promised she would help during the future ceremony so she is on this relationship too

But Jeonghan is kind of in the middle of his feelings

He’s happy he gets to spend time with you without being judged, but does he actually have a crush on you or does he just want to stay friends?

Like he wants to be friend zoned so he can find a better guy for you and like make you look good for only the best suitors

He's low-key that old stereotype of the gay friend

At some point people thought he actually was gay bc he was close with this other guy but he looks like he likes you

But anyways you guys keep this promise until senior year of highschool when you gained a boyfriend

No, it wasn’t Jeonghan, but Jeonghan’s friend who he introduced bc he thinks you go well together

Everyone is fine I am NOT FINE but the people from your middle school were asking “I thought you were set with Jeonghan?”

So after high school into college

Jeonghan is in a different college than you but you guys are still best friends, so you visit each other and 2 other friends+your boyfriend (one is that girl that ships you lol)

Now important detail your boyfriend is also in the same college as Jeonghan

Now one day, he has a late class/test and Jeonghan is sent to give you food and just tell you that he’s busy

But as you talk with Jeonghan, he keeps looking to your face and how pretty you look

Brushes it off for the most part

Fails miserably really

Except he feels an emptiness in his heart

It sounds cheesy but he feels like he missed a chance to be with you

But he wants you as his friend bc that’s what he likes about you

You’re caring towards your friends, and though you can Burn the Haters™ you always care for your 4 closest friends

That’s what he loves about you

Wait what did he say love or…

nEVeRmiNd

But at one point in your college life, rumors spread Jeonghan had a girlfriend out of college and was visiting her after school

Jeonghan definitely wasn’t with you, so maybe he finally found someone

Now you feel that same kind of empty

You love your boyfriend, but Jeonghan always had your heart, y'know?

You were going to approach him about it on the last day of that year of college, to see if the rumors were true

But on the last day…

Your boyfriend came to your dorm to tell you something urgent had happened

Now you were scared something had happened to Jeonghan bc he and Jeonghan were close

Wait a minute why do you care about Jeonghan more than your boyfriend…anYWAY

But nope™

Your boyfriend was asking to breakup

HONESTLY WTF MAN WHY NOW YOU PABO I’M SCREAMING AT MY OWN STORY RN

He still wanted to be friends but he was moving, and didn’t know how he could handle a long distance relationship

You wanted to try and handle the relationship, but this guy couldn’t take it

He was heartbroken himself tbh

You’re a depressed mess and ask him to leave

Only person who is available to comfort you right now?

Jeonghan.

This boi is ready to fight his friend, but you assure him through tears that it wasn’t really his fault (it is tho man you could’ve tried)

Jeonghan at this point

So close that he doesn’t care you look horrible and can’t do things

So for the rest of the year you just crash at his place

He’s trying hard to take care of the person that he got engaged to in his teens

Even after you come in good terms with you ex-boyfriend, Jeonghan still has to visit you to check up on you

One day he comes home and panics bc you’re coughing hysterically and turns out you had an overdose on pills for suicide

He had to call your friend who ships you to help get you to the hospital immediately

When your friend is outside discussing your condition and working out getting your family out to see you, Jeonghan sits silently next to you, holding your hand, asking why

“There’s no point in living anyway…I’m too depressed to care for myself, I don’t want to be a burden to you”

If you weren’t in a hospital bed he would be squeezing you to death

“Why this?! Why would you do this?!? What would I do without—What would our friend feel if she never got to go to the wedding of her best friends because her friend died?”

That’s what really hits you.

This guy agreed to marry you but you almost left him—no, you are slowly leaving him bc these pills are still in your system and your organs are slowly failing

When your parents visit later in the week, you’re still in bad condition

But one night, when everyone’s asleep including you, Jeonghan plants a warm kiss on your forehead and prays you get better

Miraculously, you start to pull through from your weak condition and your body starts up normally again!

IT’S THE ANGEL KISS MAN

You’re still stuck in the hospital but your family has to leave to go back home

They trust Jeonghan with your life (and kinda pressure him to make sure you’ll be taken care of)

Cue your parents just “JEONGHAN, MY FUTURE SON-IN-LAW, YOU BETTER TAKE CARE OF OUR BABY OK”

“BUT I HAVEN’T EVEN ASKED—”

“YOON JEONGHAN.”

Damn he loves you

And he finally tells you this

“Oh I know”

“What.”

“Kind of obvious. Also kisses”

“YoU wERe awAkE”

When you’re finally cleared from the hospital, Jeonghan makes you stay home and get lots of rest

Yea no he just sleeps so much but keeps you stuck in his arms you can’t escape bed

“Jeonghan. We’re going to miss lunch.”

He gets up lets you go bc you need to eat

What could go wrong when you’re with him?

Jeonghan makes sure you don’t feel uncomfortable or start crying again; he hates to see you cry

I mean on your 22nd birthday you break down in tears again

When Jeonghan gets on one knee and proposes to you

HECK YEAH MARRY YOUR FRIEND HE LOVES YOU GO MARRY THE ANGEL

Let me just say that your shipper friend is like the reason behind this relationship

And he proposed to you when you were all together

So when he’s putting the ring on your finger

You’re crying with your hand over your mouth in shock

The people at wherever place you are at (bc this guy is definitely making this public) are crying bc it’s so cute and sweet

Your friend is at the side crying bc her friends are *cough* finally getting married

And since it was a promise by 3 middle school kiddos

“Arranged”

You gotta love this guy who loves you lots

*me nervous if this will do good* I had to rewrite this twice and now I’m finally happy with how it turned out!!