#and when I retake it it’ll probably just be the same shit prof I got this term because he’s the course coordinator for it
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aimerriarkle · 4 years ago
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don’t mind just a rant abt school lol
#fuck me... I just failed my math course#six hundo down the drain#I know that failing is just a normal thing in life whatever all that jazz#but like shit dude that was literally six hundo and I’m gonna have to retake it because it’s a pre req for pretty much all stem majors#and they increased tuition again this year so the course will be more than $600#and when I retake it it’ll probably just be the same shit prof I got this term because he’s the course coordinator for it#the summer courses are full so I’ll probably end up taking it in the fall term#and I’ll be behind because we’re supposed to pick our majors before the fall term so idrk what to do#and the sucky thing is when i enrolled into this uni I knew exactly what major I wanted to do but I don’t even think I can#so I’ll have to reevaluate my entire career plan which I guess IS normal for everyone but I had genuine love for the path I wanted to take#I don’t want to take a break from school because I do like learning and I want to fast track into a career because money!?!?!?#fuk u capitalism#honestly if financial stability wasn’t the end goal of a career I would be pursuing something else#but like the major I wanted lead into a stem career that I am genuinely interested in and it guaranteed money too#anyway I’m also pissed off because I just moved out a couple of months ago and it was supposed to help me focus on school#because it was too chaotic to learn at home with my family#and it’s closer to campus for when we go back to in person classes#so like what the point of even moving out if I wasn’t even going to perform better because I would’ve been able to concentrate#I can’t even blame the prof entirely because my work ethic was complete shit#idk I feel stupid because#1) I’m probably one of the few people at the bottom of their class#2) I disappointed my mom and myself in the process#3) wasted $600 and I’m going to have to put down another $600+ to retake#4) I’ll def be rejected in the major I want and will be forced to take something else to keep my spot in the school#I mean tbh Idk what I expected because I failed the two midterms and went I to the final knowing only half the content#but I was just hoping to pass so I can get the mf credit and move on with my life#I fucked on this one ughhhg#after the final I was stress free or at least tried to be because I was also worried about what would happen if I failed the course#I told myself I’d cross that bridge when I got there and now that I’m here idk what to do#why don’t tags allow commas. the things I said wouldve made more sense w/ commas and would’ve been grammatically correct
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thefactsofthematter · 3 years ago
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hi bestie <3 you said send in some requests, so i'm suggesting:
javid with, "it's not okay! you're not fine!"?
i hope you have a good day !!!
hi bestie <333 i had so much fun with this, i haven't done a short little fic in ages!! here's a 2.7k javid fic - a college au and a classic (emotional) hurt/comfort type deal, heavy on the comfort ;)
-
"Wanna come for dinner at my parents' house tonight?"
Davey is laying on Jack's couch after his last class of the day, since Jack's apartment is just off campus, and it's a ridiculously convenient place to go nap after a long day of school. He honestly spends more time here than at his own apartment that he shares with his sister, a short train ride away.
"I'd love to," Jack replies, his gaze still glued to his computer screen, "but I totally forgot I have an art history paper due at midnight, analyzing a painting, and I haven't started. It needs to be ten pages, and I don't even have an outline. I'm gonna sit here and write until my eyeballs fall out."
Davey laughs softly.
"That sucks. Do you at least have some research done?"
Jack turns to him with completely dead eyes.
"Not a single academic source."
Davey glances at the clock. Jack has seven hours to pull this off, which is doable, but... intense. It would've been a lot easier to spread it out over a few afternoons, and it'll be a painful squeeze to get ten comprehensible pages of writing done tonight. Jack can write decently fast, but his spelling and grammar are atrocious, so he'll have to factor in editing time too. Davey is not envious of these circumstances in the slightest.
"Shit. Good luck. That sounds awful, but I'm rooting for you. What's your prof's late assignment policy?"
Jack, entirely beaten down, leans forward to rest his forehead on his keyboard.
"He won't accept them past the due date without a good reason... which I don't have. I'm just an idiot and forgot to put it in my planner— thank god Romeo texted me today to ask if I was done."
Davey pushes himself up and walks over to where Jack is sitting at his little dining table, under the constantly-flickering fluorescent bulb. He wraps his arms around Jack's shoulders and kisses the back of his neck.
"You got this. I'll come back here after dinner and bring you leftovers, okay? My mom's gonna be sad you couldn't make it, so she'll totally pack up a plate for you."
"You don't have to come all the way here," Jack sighs. "Your place is closer to your parents, and this is out of your way— you have work in the morning anyways, so you should go home and go to bed. I'll be fine, I'll probably write faster alone anyways."
Davey kisses him again, this time leaning around to plant one on his cheek.
"If you're sure." Jack's plan is probably the smart move, since Davey's shifts at his stupid coffee shop job start ridiculously early, and coming here would mean staying up with Jack until he finishes, probably distracting him. "In that case, I'll see you tomorrow after work, and I'll bring the food then... keep me posted about the paper, text me when you finish. And make sure you eat something."
Jack turns back to look at him with a strained, stressed attempt at a smile.
"For sure. Go have a nice time with your family, and tell everyone I say hi."
-
"Aba, you're doing it wrong. You have to use your left arm."
It's getting late in the evening, dinner has been eaten, and Les is trying to coordinate the family to make a TikTok with him. It's not exactly going well.
"My left or your left?"
"It doesn't matter, we have the same left!"
Davey has thankfully been placed in the back row, both because he's tall and lanky, and because he's so uncoordinated that Mom used to make you wear one of those leash backpacks as a kid to keep you from wandering into traffic... which is true, but Davey isn't sure why Les even knows about that. He certainly wasn't around yet when that was the case, so he probably heard it from Sarah.
While Les tries once again to explain how this little dance is supposed to work, Davey's phone starts to buzz in his pocket. It's probably a spam call, but he's not particularly invested in the dance lesson so he pulls it out to check.
Incoming call: cowboy babyy 💖🤠
Davey frowns. Jack never calls him. It's always texts or voice memos, since he's got some kind of weird aversion to talking on the phone. If he's calling, it must be important.
"Hi babe," he says, pressing his phone to his ear and walking off to his old bedroom to get some quiet, while Les shouts at him in the background for not taking this seriously. "How's the homework going?"
Jack is quiet for a second too long as Davey toes the door shut.
"...Not great. I'm really frustrated." He pauses and sniffles a little, sounding almost like he's holding back tears. "I don't know why I called you while you're having a good time with your family, though. I shouldn't be bugging you."
"Hey," Davey breathes, "you're not bugging me at all, sweetheart. Is the paper not going well?"
"I just... I'm so bad at writing, and I don't know what I'm talking about, and I have no idea how I'm gonna get this done in time." His voice is shaking, and it's breaking Davey's heart a little. "I'm being dramatic, though. I just need to keep working on it."
Davey sits down on the edge of what's now a guest bed, his old outer space-themed comforter replaced with something more neutral.
"You're not dramatic, it's okay to be upset. Do you want me to come over and help?"
Jack's breath hitches softly, and it confirms that he's almost definitely crying.
"You don't have to, you're busy with your folks. I'm sorry for calling." He shudders a little as he must try to take a deep breath. "It's okay... I'm fine."
Davey sighs, almost exasperated with Jack's self-sacrificial sense of pride. He'll never ask for anything for himself, not wanting anyone to go out of their way for him, even when he seems to be having a panic attack of sorts.
"It's not okay; you're clearly not fine, Jackie," he replies. "We already ate, and I'm not busy. If you want me to come over, I'll be there... do you?"
Jack is quiet for a moment again, taking a deep, shaky breath.
"Yeah. I do."
Davey nods, though Jack can't see him.
"Okay. I want you to take a little break from writing until I get there, alright? Change into your pyjamas and have a glass of water. Try to relax a little."
"Okay... thanks Davey."
The call ends, and Davey rejoins his family while tucking his phone away in his pocket.
"I have to go." He kisses his mother on the head as he walks by. "Thanks for dinner, Ima."
"Is everything okay?" she asks, catching him gently by the elbow before he can get too far.
"Yeah..." he sighs. "Jack's just having a hard time with homework, I'm gonna go help him out."
His father ruffles his hair and gives him a quick hug.
"You're a good boy, David. Take him those leftovers— your mother's cooking can fix anything."
"For sure. I'll see you guys next weekend, and I'll try to bring Jack along then."
He waves goodbye to Sarah and Les, grabs the dish of food, and then sets off on a speed-walk to the nearest subway station.
-
Jack is sitting on the couch when he arrives, his knees pulled to his chest, looking very soft and cozy in pyjama pants and one of Davey's old hoodies from some baseball tournament. He's staring into space, and he hardly even moves to acknowledge Davey's presence when he walks in.
"Hey darling." Davey leaves the dish of food on the counter and crouches down in front of Jack to try and catch his eye-line. He carefully takes Jack's hands in his own. "Hanging in there?"
Jack finally looks at him and nods, but as he blinks, more tears slip out and roll down his cheeks.
"I'm only done two pages," he mumbles, practically whispering. "I don't know why it's so hard, but I just can't do it."
"Oh, Jackie..." Davey reaches up to wipe Jack's tears, cupping his face gently with both hands. "Hey, you still have three hours, right?" Jack nods. "That's lots of time. We're gonna figure this out... let's just sit here and calm down a little first. It's gonna be okay."
He climbs up onto the couch to pull Jack into a hug, and the moment he's settled, Jack wraps his arms around him and breaks, sobbing into his shoulder. Davey cards his fingers through his hair and rubs his back; he's never seen Jack this distraught, especially not over homework. There's a good chance the problem runs a lot deeper, and stressing over an assignment was simply the last straw.
"You're alright," Davey continues, since talking is what he does best, even in moments like this. Jack is shaking with the force of his tears, breathing so hard Davey worries he might hyperventilate. "Listen, it's just one assignment, my love... if you get a bad grade, or if we don't finish in time, we can deal with that. We'll hand in whatever we finish tonight, so at least you won't get a zero. Worst case scenario, you retake this class in the spring... even that doesn't sound so bad, does it? I know you could handle it, if that's what happens."
Jack nods a little, but his tears don't stop.
"I'm so tired of being stupid," he hiccups, after a long while. "I keep getting distracted, and I can't word things right, and I spell everything wrong, and- and maybe I should just drop out, because I'm clearly not meant to be doing this."
"Baby..." Davey sighs, giving him a gentle kiss on the temple. "You're so intelligent, Jack. You're almost done your degree— after this term, you've only got one year left, and it's not like you do poorly in your classes, is it? Even when it's something hard for you, like writing, you always do well when you put in the work. What did you get on your sociology paper a couple weeks ago?"
"Ninety percent," Jack mumbles, muffled by the way he's speaking into Davey's shoulder. "But I spent so long on it, and you edited it for me. I'm gonna fail this one. I can't do it in one night, and I can't write papers without your help."
"Well, I'm here to help now, aren't I?" He rests his hand midway through brushing it through Jack's hair and scratches his scalp gently, which makes Jack shiver and laugh quietly through his tears. "Right? And you can write, darling— all I do is fix up the spelling and grammar for you. The ideas and words are all you, just like when you give presentations and knock it out of the park every time. I sure can't do that."
Jack finally looks up at him.
"Yes you can. You get nervous beforehand, but when you do a presentation, it's always really good."
Davey smiles at him, now that they're actually looking at each other.
"It's hard for me, though. Just like writing is for you— but with lots of effort, you're really good at it. See my point?"
Slowly, a small smile spreads across Jack's teary-eyed face, and he nods. Davey feels rather accomplished with this development.
"I guess so." He wipes at his eyes and sighs. "Sorry about this. I'm such a mess."
"No apologies. I don't blame you for getting overwhelmed— you're in a tough spot here." He pulls Jack in for a quick kiss, which they both smile into. "I brought you dinner. Go heat it up when you're ready; I'll look over what you've written so far and see if I can come up with some more ideas to add on. We're gonna work together on it, okay? What painting did you choose?"
"The Martyrdom of Saint Matthew by Caravaggio," Jack sighs, looking almost forlornly at his computer on the table. "I have a lot to say about it, and lots of good stuff in my notes, but I just can't put it into paragraphs and sentences that make sense."
Davey nods, watching Jack as he stands up to go put the leftovers from Davey's family in the microwave.
"Well, I don't know anything about paintings, but if you talk me through it, I can help you put the actual paper together." He pauses as an idea dawns on him. "I'm gonna email your professor and ask about an extension— it might be a shot in the dark, but we should at least try. The worst he can do is say no."
"Sure," Jack replies from the kitchen, his voice still shaky. "He's a total hardass, though. Fingers crossed for a miracle."
Davey sits at the table, opens up Jack's email, and starts a draft.
Hi Professor Diaz,
Apologies for the short notice, but I'm wondering if it would be possible to have an extension on the analysis assignment, even if it's just by a few hours. I unfortunately mixed up some due dates in my planner, and I thought I had an extra week for this assignment; I only realized the mistake today, so I'm currently scrambling to get it done in time.
Would it be at all possible to turn it in a few hours late, just to have a bit more time to finish it up? I would really appreciate any amount of time you're willing to give me.
Thank you in advance for your understanding, Jack Kelly
He shrugs, sends it, and sincerely hopes a little professionalism and a decent (if slightly fabricated to make Jack look less forgetful) excuse will go a long way.
-
It's quarter to eleven, the paper is now five-and-a-half pages long, and Jack isn't crying anymore. He's in the zone, talking aloud about the painting while Davey helps him get his vague ideas into concrete sentences, and they're on track to have at least seven or eight pages by the time midnight rolls around— it might not get full marks, but it'll be better than nothing.
Jack's computer dings with the sound of a new email while they're taking a two-minute break— something they've interspersed every half hour, since Jack's focus is best in shorter bouts. He's in the middle of walking laps around the apartment to get his energy out and annoy his downstairs neighbours, but he scrambles back to the computer at the noise.
"We got a reply!" he shouts.
Davey is over on the couch, and he watches Jack's face closely as he opens the email. So far, so good... and then he slumps down in his chair in a show of what could either be defeat or relief. Davey can't quite tell, so he jumps up to go read it for himself.
Sure. Email it by 11:59pm tomorrow.
Sent from my iPhone
"Yes!" Davey shouts, grabbing Jack by the shoulders. "I told you it was worth a shot!"
Jack laughs, and then reaches up to pull Davey down for a kiss.
"You're the best, Jacobs. A fucking lifesaver." He rubs at his eyes, and then pushes his computer away, across the table. "I'll deal with this tomorrow. Let's just go to bed— you still have to be up early."
Right. Davey has a dreaded Saturday morning opening shift tomorrow— they open at five, and he has to be there well in advance to get set up, so he's got no chance at getting more than a few hours of sleep. He's going to be dead on his feet in the morning, probably fuck up a few coffee orders, but it'll be worth it to have helped Jack through tonight.
Poor Jack seems completely exhausted— as anyone would be after crying so hard earlier— so collapsing into bed after washing up quickly is an utter relief. Davey, despite being tall and long-limbed, greatly enjoys being the little spoon and Jack is happy to indulge him, so they curl into the familiar position.
"Thank you for everything tonight," Jack whispers, practically into Davey's ear. "I love you so much."
Davey smiles as his eyes fall shut, and he kisses Jack's knuckles softly, where his arm is wrapped around him.
"Any time, darling. I love you too."
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