#and whats the fun in making things easy for myself haha <suffering

[atherix]

Would yall still love me if I decided to stream (badly) digging a hole (aka "working on my base")

[esoteric-joke]

Interview with Darling28

(#Interview1)

Welcome to the first interview of The Dear Writer Project and a massive thank you to the wonderful Darling28 for being so supportive of this whole idea since the beginning!

Darling28 about her writing process, her inspirations, her experiences with writers block and her future plans on writing:

What does your writing process usually look like and is it always kind of the same for every story you’ve written?

Oh interesting question. It's usually the case that ideas come from the simplest things and suddenly a complete plot is in my head within minutes or sometimes even seconds. At least the rough outline. Apart from that, my characters often like to take the plot for themselves and I just watch in amazement at what they let me write. I often suffer as much as the reader when I write because I let it flow out of me and often don't know what to expect. Most of the time, though, I have a specific scene in mind in the beginning, often for the middle of the story, and I can hardly wait until I finally get to the point where I can write it. The end of a story quite often involves a marriage proposal, I realise, even if I don't always intend to, but Louis and Harry in my stories are very stubborn about it.

But other than that, my writing process is pretty simple: get excited about a new idea, start writing immediately, often at a speed that makes my betas despair and end up questioning the whole story until I reread it myself and suddenly love it.

Do you have any sort of structured writing plan before you start writing or do you just write what comes to mind?

I'm absolutely far from structured. I have the problem that my best ideas about what to write next come to me when I'm driving and I have to memorise whole conversations or scenes for the rest of the journey. As soon as I've parked, I write it down as a note. But there's really nothing more than these few notes, no mood board or major characterisations, I just let myself go with the flow. I also think that would take some of the fun out of it for me personally, I love getting to know my characters over the course of the story and I don't want to plan everything in detail beforehand.

You said before that you write a lot, especially after you’ve got a new idea in mind. How much time do you invest in writing in your day to day life?

I actually write every day and usually around 3-4k. I think it takes about 3 hours of my time, but that's really just a rough estimate. I usually write already in the morning at breakfast before I have to go to work and then spread the rest over the afternoon and evening.

Our Souls Intertwined is your longest work at the moment. Was it also the one you wrote the longest on?

Our Souls Intertwined… I wrote this story together with freakingmeout and we took turns writing chapters, each of us wrote one character. Despite the length, I don't think we really needed much time to finish it because the other author is just as fast as I am at writing and often each of us had finished a chapter within a day. It was perhaps a little worrying in hindsight haha.

If it wasn’t Our Souls Intertwined, what work of yours did take you the longest?

Oh wow I think you've got me now and I can't give you an answer off the top of my head.

I'm guessing it might be Calm after the storm because that's my longest story that I wrote on my own. So it makes sense that it probably took me the longest to write.

But when I think about it, it could also be the current one I'm writing that hasn't been published yet. My last few weeks haven't been easy for personal reasons and I haven't had time to write and everything has stalled. I just started writing again a few days ago and am catching up.

She also told me that she sometimes drives her betas crazy with the amount and pace that she writes. On some Sundays she writes all day and sometimes feels a bit empty inside afterwards, she admitted.

What work of yours did come together the fastest?

I would say Men are shit. This story practically wrote itself and I could just let my thoughts, which I put into the story as Louis’, run free and didn't have to think about them any further. It was a great experience and I love this Louis so much!

Do you finish writing the story completely before you start publishing or do you start publishing whenever you finished a chapter?

For my first stories, I posted while I was writing. So I finished a chapter, had it proofread and then published it.

However, my only beta at the time had of course her own life and sometimes couldn't keep up with the speed at which I wanted to update again.

So at some point I started to finish writing and only then published it.

What worked better for you, personally?

Both definitely have their pros and cons. But I really liked publishing in the writing process. You get immediate feedback on what you've written, sometimes even ideas for the rest of the plot from readers' comments.

However, it would have stressed me out a lot, like in my situation the last few weeks where I couldn't write anything and had to make the reader wait for updates.

What inspires you in your day to day life the most?

The story often comes to me really quite by chance, mostly inspired by songs, not so much by the lyrics but by the feelings they convey, what lies between the lines.

Did you ever have a writers block and what helped you out of it / What do you do if you feel unmotivated?

Yes, I've had a writers block for the last few months and I've missed writing so much. But there's no point forcing yourself and for me it was best to wait until it felt right again. Before that, I didn't have anything like that as far as I can remember. Sometimes I just didn't know what to write next and got a bit stuck, but my advice here is: just start writing. Don't think, just do it.

And if I'm just unmotivated then I leave it for the day because I know it'll be definitely easier the next one.

What do you find most stressful/annoying/repetitive in the process of writing a story?

For me it's the hardest thing to end the story because then I'm usually so connected to the characters that it feels like saying goodbye to a dear friend every time and I'm actually really sad.

Oh and one thing that really frustrates me is that my Louis and Harry very often crash the chapter with sex. I love writing smut but sometimes they overdo it (okay it amuses me a bit too).

Darling28 also told me, that one of her favourite phases in writing a story is the getting-to-know-each-other phase. She said that she loves it because that’s when she feels like the characters come to life and the tension between them grows.

Can you tell me something about any future projects you’re working on?

I'm happy to tell you about future projects!

In addition to my many ideas for stories that I haven't started yet, I'm currently writing four open ones. Two with other authors and two of my very own. I hope that I will soon be able to present the readers with something new from me, because for me it is always the best thing to finally be able to share my work with the fandom.

For the next part of the interview, I asked Darling28 more specific questions about her works.

What work of yours is your personal favourite?

It's really difficult to name THE one. But I'll go with the three that come to my mind first, okay?

Calm after the storm, because I love their love in this story and I felt for both of them while writing it. It still touches me today.

Men are shit, because Louis is just chaos but so sweet at the same time. I loved describing his ADHD brain, letting his mind run wild. I wanted to give neurospicy people a story in which they can find themselves and feel understood.

True Colours, because I wrote this story for my friend and beta who wanted me to make Harry really suffer as it's usually Louis in my stories who has to go through everything horrible. I love the development of the two of them in this story. They heal together and I don't think there's anything better.

What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who isn’t familiar with your works and why?

I think that would be Paparazzi. That's the most popular one of mine and it contains a bit of everything but it's not as extremely angsty as others that I wrote. A bit of enemies to lovers, gay awakening, smut, fluff - what more could you want?

A lot of your works are based around complicated and complex topics like having a bad relationship with your parents, mental health issues and homelessness and everything that comes along with it. Why do you specifically choose to write about those topics?

I love the drama and the big emotions.

But also because none of our lives are perfect. Everyone has their own struggles and their own traumas and I love picking up on that. It especially touches me when readers find themselves in it, feel understood and heard. I think for some it's some kind of validation. It's wonderful to turn something very sad into something very good. As much as I love the drama, I also love the happy ending.

And of course it's also free therapy in a way. There's always a part of me in most stories.

The Magic Within You is your only story, that doesn’t really have any of those topics (besides of Louis’ tendencies to panic quickly). Why did you want to write something so different to your usual writing style?

The Magic Within You is a pure, cheesy Christmas story that was set up like an advent calendar when I posted it, but I think it can be read very well throughout the year.

I always find Christmas a difficult time of the year myself. Lots of people come together and I'm often overwhelmed. I especially wanted to give people who might feel the same way a cute story, offer some distraction and sweeten the day. I hope I succeeded.

By the way, I love how you mentioned the panicky side of Louis. So adorable.

Is something like an advent calendar planned for this christmas season too or was it a one-time thing for you?

No, I haven't planned another one, but never say never. Maybe I'll suddenly get an idea in October and start writing like crazy.

Actually, a sequel to The Magic Within You was planned for this summer but unfortunately I couldn't do that for personal reasons that I had already mentioned. But I definitely want to publish the sequel next year!

You wrote Our Souls Intertwined and Bring me to life with freakingmeout. How did that go?

Oh it's a totally interesting experience because here too we only had the rough plot, but because everyone wrote their character in alternating chapters it was always exciting for the other to see what would happen in the chapter of the other. Sometimes I sat there shocked or totally amused and had to think about how I was going to live through certain situations with my character. It's definitely anything but boring and you experience it as an author as well as a reader.

When I asked her if it feels like a roleplay kind of thing she actually confirmed that it does sometimes feel like exactly that.

Paparazzi is your most popular work. Why do you think this one in particular got the most attention?

I have absolutely no idea why Paprazzi is the most popular one. I often ask myself that but maybe it's really because it's not such a heavy one? But instead of looking for answers, I prefer to be happy that so many people like it.

Is there a work of yours that you’d like to get the attention that Paparazzi got or just more attention in general?

Oh yes, definitely. In my personal opinion, Holding On To Heartache has far too little attention. I know where it comes from, or rather I suspect that the tag 'suicide attempt' puts a lot of people off, but I still think it's worth reading. You can always expect a happy ending with my stories.

Is there a work of yours that you wouldn’t publish again in hindsight?

I must confess that I have already deleted my very first story. And I know that my betas and friends will kill me if they read this now. Because they kept stopping me every time I had a crisis about this story but I did it nontheless one day. I guess my secret is out now... oops. If you read this, please don't be mad!

But I'm actually thinking about revising it and publishing it again at some point.

Are there any characters in one of your stories that are inspired by people or animals you know in real life?

Yes... Bree in 'Paparazzi' is my friend and beta. But I don't think I realised until the later chapters that I was using her as a role model for this absolutely wonderful character.

For the last part of the interview, I asked Darling28 some personal questions that are more about the fandom and less about her experiences with writing.

Since when are you in the fandom and what made you become a part of it?

I am a Lockdown-Larrie haha. I was watching Tik Tok videos out of sheer boredom like probably so many others and suddenly a video with two guys popped up. It's this one where Harry is sitting on the armchair, Louis is sitting on the armrest while Harry is looking up at Louis, absolutely enamoured. I was just sitting there and I remember thinking: who the hell are these two guys that are so in love?

I read through the comments and searched the web for more informations. After that, my days were filled with watching all the YouTube videos and then making a Twitter account. I was absolutely down the rabbit hole and I don't regret it one day. At first I was in the lane of LHH (I mean, come on, just look at him) but then I listened to Louis music and he got my number 1 and never lost rank again. Also, the song Just hold on saved me, the lockdown was not a good time for my mental health.

Your favourite Louis and Harry Era?

LHH forever. If I had enough money I would bribe him to let them grow long again. Although I'd have to meet him first. My plan isn't finalised yet as you can see but yeah... I think you know now how serious I am, haha.

And Louis... Hedgehog and FITF. I just love when his hair is fluffy.

Your favourite movie H starred in?

My Policeman. Damn, I was broken after watching it but it's so good.

Who’s your favourite writer in the fandom at the moment?

One of my favourite authors is BoosBabycakes. I especially love their a/b/o stories!

And your all-time favourite fic in the fandom?

Oh, that's really difficult. There are too many good ones and I really need to think about it for a moment. But I would like to name a story that is not one of the fandom's always recommended ones.

Okay... I go with this one, it's definitely one of my favourite a/b/o stories, the nesting is so sweetly described and I think I really need to read it again:

You've Got A Higher Power, You're Once In Any Lifetime by BoosBabycakes

What makes you want to stop reading something?

If the story is written in first person or the plot doesn't make sense to me and I question too much in the story. Some stories are also too artificially drawn out for me. I don't like slooooooow burn. My attention span doesn't last that long.

Your favourite song at the moment?

Call me by Neeve, it's a small german indie band but I like them a lot.

Of course nothing beats Louis music, I hope I don't have to mention that, do I?

Do you have a favourite movie or a favourite series at the moment?

No, neither of them. I haven't watched anything for ages. I prefer to spend my free time writing.

What was the most unusual thing that inspired you at some point?

Erm I hope this doesn't come across as weird but Louis' bum and waist. For some of my a/b/o stories and ideas that I still want to write.

What is your favourite season?

Spring, when everything turns green again and starts to blossom.

She also told me, that she has hay fever and that sometimes it’s unbearable for her until autumn but she still loves spring the most, especially after the darker months.

Who would you like to read an interview from?

I don't have a specific author in mind but I'd like it to be someone with a smaller fanbase to draw more attention to them.

I wanted to make it a little tradition for every interview, that every writer gives every of their works a colour and a season. It’s just a fun little thing for the end of the interview I thought would be interesting. Thankfully, Darling28 thought it was a great idea too, so here are the results:

Captured Ink, Hidden Hearts - pink and black, spring.

Bring me to life - darkblue, autumn.

Our Souls Intertwined - dark red, late summer.

True Colours - rainbow, obviously, autumn.

Men are shit - pink and green, summer

The Magic Within You - ice blue and white, winter (on a sunny day)

Tainted Love - brown, winter

Calm after the Storm - purple, early spring

Tank tops and a phone call - red, summer (a very hot day)

Letters - dark green, last summer days

I'm with you - white and grey, autumn

Paparazzi - yellow, summer

Holding On To Heartache - black with golden sprinkles, winter

Paradise is in your own mind (Sequel HOTH) - dark pink, spring

You Sunshine, You Temptress - green, summer

Careless Whisper - dark blue, winter

A huge thank you again to Darling28. Thanks for understanding my vision and being so open and kind. I appreciate it so much.

[beatupcorpse]

look I made that AU for me and my need of my monkey brothers bcuz this fandom has me completely starved. I JUST WANT BONDING AND PAIN TIMES

the title refers to -SWK's- greatest fear, which is to fail MK so badly that this is how things end up, the kid the Lady's new weapon.

i already said it and kinda showed it in my post but MK takes the hit instead of SWK and immediately this is bad this is terrible he attacking right out of the bat. his hits actually hurt. SWK realizes this is full power MK.

since we know that the possessed are still aware of everything, on MK's sight, getting himself trapped like this just kinda leaves him defeated and becomes the perfect vessel for LBD. doesnt help that he is terrified of this demon

This whole situation is a bit different from possessed!SWK who could hold back punches and fight off his possession even if just a lil bit at first. MK won't get that. He is the perfect weapon for LBD basically. doesn't take much energy to control, equal to SWK in power and cannot hold back. DISASTER

Even worse! His friends don't want to hurt him in the first place! w SWK it was easy because fuck the guy amiright, but this is MK! their friend! Mei's bestie!!!! Dadsy's son!!!!!!!!!!!! it hurts to see MK and be met with souless eyes and murderous intentions

haha.... haaaaaaa...this means that when Mac teams up with them....he and SWK get to have moments oh god I can't let my shipper brain take hold. is FIEN, WE JUST GET MORE DIVORCE ARGUMENTS but also perhaps maybe they are very in sync as they talk about the plan? Mei would probably make fun of em. ok thats it thats all Im giving myself .... and the rest of the time they spent together

aND MAN!! SWK IS JUST SO FILLED WITH GUILT!! probably super numb and serious now. trying to make a plan. muttering to himself. Mei forces him out of his bubble and demands him to act like he is part of the team and share ideas or else they (and MK) are TOAST. and he has to SUCK IT UP AND LISTEN. FOR ONCE!!!!!

we get a "you're right pony girl" "I HAVE A NAME" to light up the mood anyway

bcuz at the end of the day, the team would have to be divided just like in the show, just that instead of MK is SWK. Lucky for Mac tho, in this au he doesn't have to fight MK alone, now he has SWK to take half of the hits. its his time to suffer as he tries to defend himself against his own power, take the staff and try his hardest to not hurt the kid.

whenever he does land a hit on him!! man that feels terrible. LBD taunts him about it. careful there, u wouldn't want to take out ur own student. SWK could maybe win if he put his all, he is the monkey kiing after all. but he would rather take a beating and hear her laugh her head off.

Im not talkin much about Mac bcuz I think he would be taken out of the competition so fast. sad sight. he still tried tho. hes bleeding but not dead he is fine i promise. he is happy to just let SWK take it from there

btw don't think too hard about the staff and how its in MK's hands and not stabbed into the ground just shhhhshshshs. wireless charging the mecha (i actually dont remember if thats what it was doing)

but fuck the staff man. IS DESPERATION TIME! SWK starts talking to MK. he apologizes for everything. he begs. "MK. forget everything Ive told you, listen to me now: you cannot give up"

MK seems to stutter in his next attack. SWK blocks it and keeps talking

"Don't give up on me and especially don't give up on yourself. fight it out kid. I believe in you"

The blue glow of MK's eyes weakens. the sounds of LBD struggling increase the more SWK talks to him. she tries to shut him up. MK now has SWK on a chokehold. Still, the annoying ass monkey won't shut up.

The grip in his neck tightens but he continues

"You have such great friends. You need to keep on fighting for them. They miss you too."

"You're something special bud and not because you are the monkie kid."

His expression starts to change

"I'm proud to be your mentor. Please come back"

and MK snaps out of it.

-

from there I feel like itd be pretty much the same. as u can see the au is not terrible different. is just different enough for me to get SWK being honest and sweet to MK and MK to listen everything he needed to hear. and also pain. I could span on many lil things but is very late and im basically ripping this off my chest so its just out here

oh and also

I get a real hug between them in this AU

[drhu0806]

INFAMOUS MC THONKING AND RAMBLINGS AGAIN and you know I said I originally went the obvious crush on Orion as a bit that spiraled out of control but it is an incredibly fun thought experiment to actually ask myself, "What kind of person would be willing to make a fool of themselves in front of their crush over and over like that with seemingly no positive results for probably at minimum a year, likely longer depending on players' personal preference, and not eventually come to the sensible conclusion that they should just move on?"

So one of the answers to this is an incel, and of course I am not making Luna an incel, so the other explanation that actually makes sense is that she's got Issues--SHOCKER I know, in the midst of this cast--and maybe she's not as put together as she thinks she is. Because let's be real here, one more time: nobody sensible and well adjusted does the above shit.

Now Luna thinks she's moved on from Seven, as well as one could given the circumstances. But this blogger has read a lot of the extra content, a lot of the past history between Seven and the MC, and uhhhh yeah no that shit's not easy to move on from, fuck no. So while Luna is more well adjusted compared to Seven, there's still a lot going on in there.

NOW until the chapter devoted entirely to BreakupGate is finally dropped I have my own HCs on the general happenings of the incident and I'd say Luna holds a great deal of lingering guilt over what transpired; after all, what kind of person would be able to drive their best friend and/or lover of 12 years away so drastically?

A bad one, is what.

So Orion arrives on the scene, and Luna thinks, "Oh shit, a hot guy I kind of feel something for? Haha?" and just throws herself into it to overcompensate because of COURSE she's over Seven! If she wasn't over them how could she be pursuing someone else??? Hmmm????? She's so over them, right???

And then all the little rejections start rolling in, and you know, that's when a perfectly healthy and normal individual would eventually think, "Hmm, this person is clearly not interested. I should probably stop, do some emotional wrangling, and move on."

But Luna chooses to continue on, suffering rejection after rejection, which, based on flavor text from the story, do indeed hurt. So why keep it up?

The answer: she doesn't believe she deserves any better. Orion is, for a time, the perfect cover to pretend to the world that she's moved on from BreakupGate, all the while never actually reaching the supposed "goal" of successfully getting together with someone who seems like a great guy so that she stays alone in spite of how much she wishes she wasn't, because she still feels so terrible about what happened with Seven and is so terrified of hurting someone like that again.

Now I doubt this will actually be a thing when the time comes in the actual story, but I think it would be interesting to have an option for people who chose this route with O to have a moment to interrogate their feelings, because for Luna, I think the moment Orion shows reciprocation, it's going to be the coldest douse of emotional ice water, and there is going to be a HEAVY need for a lot of introspection in those following moments.

Anyway, the moral of the story is, if you're holding a torch for someone for that long, you should maybe consider counseling/therapy because that's just not healthy.

[linagram]

[ meet the prisoners! (t2 edition) ] prisoner 004: chiba naomi

this woman. she caused me so much suffering. basically, when i first finished working on her t2 design, i. uh. i noticed that i made a mistake only like a day after i was done.

her arms were too short JDJKSKSDLKSLK.

so i kept procrastinating and telling myself that i will fix it later and when i actually tried to do it, IT WAS SO PAINFUL BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAD ALL THE COLORS AND SHADING AND ALL OF THAT. i still managed to fix it though, but if the lineart looks weird, that's why! her arms still look wrong to me, but trust me, they looked worse.

but anyway, i still love naomi's character a lot even if her crime isn't that mysterious or difficult to solve <3

General info.

T1 Verdict: Naomi was voted innocent and she did not expect that. She genuinely thought that she will be voted guilty, she really thought that Eiji is that person who will understand how bad her crime actually was.. Like, she even kind of told them about how young her victim was before her video got extracted, why would those two forgive her? Haha, so they're not that different from those other people.. Naomi was shocked at first, but at the same time she got used to hearing that what happened wasn't her fault, so.. Eh, maybe she should just agree with the guards. She's tired of trying to prove that she's guilty, she had tried to do it so many times before she even arrived here, so what's the point? People will still forgive her for some reason. Maybe she's just that sympathetic or it's so easy to understand her, she's not sure. So for now, she will just embrace it and go with the flow.

T2 Personality: Naomi certainly did change and she's not even trying to ask for a guilty verdict anymore. She's more calm and relaxed now, but it's not because she was forgiven, it's simply because she decided to accept everyone forgiving her. She's tired of trying to make everyone believe that she's this dangerous murderer, so if others think her crime wasn't that bad even though her victim was so young, fine, she'll just nod and agree. Naomi is also more honest about her feelings now and even though she still gets along with most younger prisoners, she's more open about disliking Asahi and says that no matter how hard this boy is trying to make others think that he's changed, he still deserves to be punished. The fact that he's the youngest prisoner here is scary to her not because "Oh no, what a child like him is doing here?", but because this child must have done something truly awful to end up here.

T2 Relationship dynamics:

She gets along with both Akio and Aimi and she's happy to see that they've become friends. Of course, she didn't want Akio to get injured, so she helps Aimi with taking care of him sometimes. If they need something, she will ask the guards for it as usual and she understands that because of Akio being voted guilty, now he really needs someone to request things for him.

Her relationship with Riku, another prisoner who's one of the younger ones, is a bit more complicated, because she really does want to help him and she has experience with helping kids who have mental health problems (even though they were much younger than Riku), but she also has a feeling that Riku doesn't want to get help. Maybe he thinks he's fine or that he doesn't deserve to be taken care of. If that's the case, she can understand him. Actually, she would love to know more about him. Who knows, maybe their family situations are actually more similar than they both thought.

Her relationship with Asahi is much worse now and uh, Asahi, if you thought she's gonna be your new mother figure, you were wrong. She doesn't hesitate to stop Asahi if she sees or hears him making fun of someone again and if he says something rude, she will tell him to shut up. She's had enough of his behavior and she actually thinks that Asahi trying to act more nice and polite makes him more suspicious. Like, why is this 12-year old (the prisoners' birthdays are canon here, so yes, he's actually 12 years old now) trying to manipulate all prisoners and even the guards? Who does he think he is?.. Oh well, it probably would be easy for a cute child to make others feel sorry for him. That's also probably why he was forgiven anyway.

Music info.

Milgram cover: Oh, this one will probably be sudden. So, uh, she actually gets It's Not My Fault this time <3 The image of this tired 30-year old woman singing INMF looks so funny in my head, but before you go "OHHHH so she really thinks she's innocent, huh?", well, not exactly! At the same time it can be her showing that even though she thinks she deserves to be punished for her crime, she also thinks her victim still deserved to die (actually, i think Naomi is one of those prisoners who would kill again if they ever got out of Milgram because her repressed anger is that bad), but mostly.. I think her singing INMF is actually more like her kind of making fun of people who forgave her. Yes, this can be seen as both her breaking the fourth wall and calling people out in-universe. Like, oh, okay, she gets it. She's just this poor tired woman who killed an annoying child who was hated by everyone around him, both kids and adults. It's fine, she understands. She's so pitiable, isn't she?

DECO*27 cover: Kimi ga Kirai da (Now, I know that this song is about a romantic relationship, but I really wanted her to sing something sad and also show how much hatred and anger she has inside. This woman is so, so tired of everything..)

Different Vocaloid producer cover: Regret Message by mothy/Akuno-P (second Akuno-P song in a row LET'S GO!! Again, I just wanted her to sing something sad, but also her feelings are so complicated, like yes, she thinks her victim deserved to die, no one even cried when they found out about his death, but also.. Maybe she does regret it. Of course she does, she wouldn't ask for a guilty verdict if she didn't. She doesn't know how to feel about her crime, honestly. Maybe the guards can help?)

Her T2 Trailer Voicelines:

"Ah, Eiji-san and Miki-san. Glad to see you. I hope you two are taking good care of yourselves. So.. The second trial, huh? I feel like this time everything is going to be even more difficult for you.. Don't push yourself too hard, okay?.. How do I feel about my verdict?.. Well.. I've decided that I won't argue with you about it. It is your decision after all and who am I to try and tell the guards that they are wrong?"

*crying* "I.. I don't understand.. I don't understand anything.. A-am I supposed to feel sorry for him now?.."

Her T2 Song Trailer Voiceline:

"What's wrong? Are you regretting your decision?"

Trivia:

Her letting her hair down can be seen as her trying to act more honest and more true to herself. No more holding back now.. At least she sees it as being more honest, though I can't say she's right. I actually feel like her agreeing with everything the guards do sounds like her running away from reality.

She feels more comfortable in her new outfit now because the old one reminded her of her crime way too much. (She also was wearing the same clothes both when she committed her crime and when she was brought here)

She doesn't really care about being voted innocent or guilty anymore. She's okay with the guards doing whatever they want. It's not like her opinion matters here anyway.

A dark shade of red was chosen as her second image color because of how her T2 MV ends (or where it ends, to be more specific) and because I thought it fits her nicely: her first image color is much calmer compared to the second one, it's like the first color is how other people see her (and how she wants them to see her), but the second color is her real, more violent and aggressive side.

[captainclervals]

NO FOR REAL the way the people on here talk about disabled people and characters is straight up EVIL. I cannot fathom the horrible way they'll talk about things like Frankenstein like the takes aren't already bad enough. The things they say are so destructive toward us even if they think they're just heehawing at a character, the second ableism comes up it stops being funny and they don't even get it

YOU'RE SO SO RIGHT ... you get it 😭 I'm so sorry you're also affected by what a prevalent issue it is but I'm also glad to know I'm not just being overly critical or pedantic HAHA I don't want to be mistaken as just trying to gatekeep a bajillion-year-old public domain book from new readers because that's not at ALL what I'd like, it'd be nice to have new artists and enjoyers and friends to meet! but while it should be fun and accessible and not feel like another high school class full of rules and guidelines on what to write, we also need to speak out on offensive humor and portrayals... not on behalf of a character but because, like you said, it's destructive to the real people right alongside us!!

I have a ball with comedy and jokes! I don't feel like classic literature is a sacred thing only to be approached with academic sobriety, BUT everyone has that responsibility to have fun in a way that isnt going to implicate real world people. a lot of folks hate Victor, I get it, and despite him being my favorite character I'm unfazed by just general dislike because if it's just a matter of taste/opinion, that's fine! I don't like everyone else's favorites!

but unfortunately from what I've seen it's rarely as respectful as that... it's very easy to list the reasons for hating him such as, he's useless, he's pathetic, he's annoying, he takes advantage of/is a burden on his friends and family... and typically they won't go all the way down to why but it's still there: because he's chronically ill? because he's disabled? not going into the moral aspects or whatever, we're just apparently cracking on him because he's prone to fainting and wild emotional spells and spends long periods being bedridden and requiring care, and because he can't/doesn't do something of equal magnitude in return, he's a bad friend and a burden and should have been left to suffer alone? and it's just funny because it's weak and effeminate to have bad health I GUESS? and he made bad choices so he deserved it or something? (the classic "if you're disabled you brought it on yourself somehow") I've literally seen people say he manipulated clerval and walton into caring for him and that they should have left him to die alone??

😩 I really don't believe the jokes are made in bad faith but there should just be more awareness of the fact that disabled people are so apt to see others, even their friends, subtly (or not so subtly?) say "it's joke material to be that sick! people who require care are bad friends/family members and your able-bodied loved ones also think you're a parasite!" it's just so ingrained in people that I'm pretty sure the majority don't even realize at all the implications of what they're using as a punchline. like do y'all think I should be abandoned by my friends and family and should die alone so I'll stop wasting their time and resources? I really doubt anyone does (ufgsj at least I hope not) but that's how I FEEL seeing some of these posts!

this is literally what made me so much more reserved and afraid of my own disability and how it looks to other people! seeing people make that exact kind of joke about frankenstein was a negative turning point in my perception of myself! I honestly somehow didn't fully recognize until seeing people laugh, right in front of me, about how weak and pathetic the chronically ill character is FOR being chronically ill and that he didn't deserve the love of his friends in caring for him when he wasn't able to take care of himself and it hit me that THIS is how people see me!! weak for being disabled, useless, and a parasite for needing assistance in simple tasks while contributing very little to the world! I've become even more hesitant about sharing details of my experience with chronic illness and far more reluctant to ask for help even when I desperately need it—

I very rarely discuss details of my disability, so most people don't even know that it's such a deeply personal struggle, but I don't feel like you should HAVE to disclose your medical history just to keep those around you aware enough to not use disability as an insult or punchline. I really don't think it should be necessary for someone to just rein in ableism politely just while someone disabled is in the company. you never know who is listening or how they feel! so out of kindness and respect it's just the decent thing to focus the victor malice towards, y'know, things like his moral failings and NOT towards his mental or physical health (and even then some of what I see typically classified as his moral failings actually are tied at least in part to his health but that's another discussion LMAO)

and not even really touching on the mental health aspect because I feel like USUALLY people are more inclined to treat that with sensitivity (even though I have seen PUBLISHED BOOKS talk about the whole "victor was delusional and imagined the monster to shield himself from the fact that HE killed his friends and family" thing. which i despise as a psychotic person with paranoid delusions. gotta love the constant reminder that generally people assume that if you experience psychoses you must be violent and always one thread away from a killing spree...). but stuff like having bouts of illness after strong emotion or needing friends to help ground you during paranoid spells or addiction resulting from a coping mechanism ARE ALSO not something to laugh at and call a weakness!

[aeoki]

Magic Lantern - Prologue

Location: Seisou Hall Courtyard Characters: Subaru & Sora Season: Autumn Writer: Akira

< Middle of October. Seisou Hall courtyard. >

Subaru: Hey~ Daikichi~? Where’d you go?

We’re playing hide and seek after tag? Come on, you know I’ve never won a single game against you.

(Hmm… I underestimated him. I thought it would be fine for me to let go of Daikichi’s leash around the Seisou Hall area.)

(He’s usually tied to the leash, so I wanted to let him have a taste of freedom once in a while!)

(Daikichi’s like me – we both love being free…☆)

(But I was careless. I should’ve known he would be over the moon once he learns he’s free, and would run around everywhere. He loves freedom as much as I do, after all.)

(It’s not the season for dogs to run around the garden happily~)

Sora: Heey! Sparkling Onii-san!

Subaru: Hm? That sounds like…?

Uhh? Oh, there you are! Heey, Yellow Kid~♪

What’re you doing up there? You’ll get hurt if you fall!

Sora: HaHa~♪ Sora is playing by himself! Sora’s trying to go from the school to Seisou Hall to Sora’s room without ever touching the ground or the floor~♪

Subaru: Sounds interesting! Don’t know if there’s any point in doing that, though!

Sora: It’s something you do because there’s no point in it! Master~ told me that~♪

Subaru: Ahaha! It definitely sounds like something Natsume would say – Natsume language is full of confusing things that are hard to understand!

Sora: No, it’s a magic spell ♪

Subaru: All the stuff about magic and spells is just pretending, right? …Well, anyway.

Yellow Kid! Sorry for bothering you while you’re busy playing, but have you seen Daikichi around here?

Sora: Daikichi? Your dog?

Subaru: Yeah! He stays with my mum when I’m busy with work, but he’s turned into a wild thing since the last time I saw him!

My mum spoils Daikichi way too much.

Sora: Hmm. So does that mean Daikichi decided to run away because you’re stricter than your mum?

Subaru: No, my mum spoils me too. I’m the type of Subaru Akehoshi who’s famous because I’m strict with both myself and others.

Sora: There are other types? Are they differentiated by colour?

Subaru: Nope! There’s always only one of me in the world…☆

…Uhh, what were we talking about? Yellow Kid, you tend to latch on to weird parts of the conversation, so it just goes nowhere~

Sora: Really? Sora hasn’t heard many people calling Sora “weird” lately~

But! It makes it sound like it was Sora’s fault, so Sora will find Daikichi as an apology! It should be super easy to spot him if Sora looks from a high place~♪

Subaru: No, it’s not your fault at all. I guess that part of you is a bit weird and odd~ I shouldn’t be the one saying that, though.

Sora: HiHi~♪ Target found! Daikichi is digging a hole in a corner of the courtyard~

He was easy to spot because he was wiggling about! Wild animals are good at erasing their presence, so it’s hard to find their “colour”?

Alrighty! This way, Sparkling Onii-san!

Subaru: Woah, don’t just jump down like that. It’s dangerous, you know…?

Sorry. You were having fun playing but I’m just being a bother.

Sora: It’s fine! Sora prioritises someone’s happiness over Sora’s fun!

Subaru: That so? My dad was the same sort of idol. The more he loved and cared about someone, the more the people around him suffered.

Sora: ……? I don’t really understand but Daikichi’s this way! Look over here, Daikichi ♪

Subaru: Ohh, you’re right. Thanks, Yellow Kid – you’ve got quite a sharp eye.

Sora: That’s Sora’s good point! Sora’s good at hunting for easter eggs~♪

Subaru: It’s not really the season for easter, though? Is that game slang or something? Natsume has a habit of using weird words like that and smiling to himself~

Anyway, look at you, Daikichi… Why did you leave your master behind and run off? You’re a disgrace to the Akehoshi family.

Sora: You don’t have to go that far. Wait, is that just a casual joke people would use towards their family members?

 …HuHu~?

Subaru: What’s up now, Yellow Kid?

Sora: Well… The spot Daikichi was digging at is super sparkly and glittery.

Subaru: Really? Daikichi loves things that sparkle, after all~ It’s a trait of the Akehoshi family!

In my family, we’ve been dedicating our lives ever since we were a baby to mastering the secret behind all things that sparkle!

But, huh? There’s nothing sparkly there at all? There’s some sort of device-looking thing that’s covered in dirt, though…?

Sora: Yes! It looks sparkly to Sora!

Hmm? What is this? Sora hasn’t seen this sort of shape before.

Could it be something from a UFO…?

Next Chapter →

[focusandrelaxforme]

Documenting My Subject's Hypno Slavery Journey (Part 8)

- After her subdrop, we took things easy for a bit before getting back into it. Add to that her incoming trip, and just general busyness, and finding time for proper sessions has been difficult.

- That said, my plan is to come up with a more structured approach that will effectively leave her with instructions and guidance even when I can't interact with her directly in the moment.

- Part of that is having her be more available to her husband, so that she gets the feeling of being used.

--------

Dear Diary,

I feel like I haven't wrote in so long...but in reality its only been a day.. Not a lot has happened since my last entry. I suffered from a bit of a rough sub drop and Master let me take the day to recover. He offered to give me a bit more freedom, but I declined. That makes me feel a bit empty. He was very easy on me...except my "rest" day still involved a 10 min killer ab workout haha. But don't tell him.. I really don't mind.. i crave the control. I need to be under his control...and I desperately need to obey. The last couple days Master has been busy with work and the holiday. And I'm sure he is very tired. So I have found myself alone a lot. Which really only makes me realize how much I crave the control. I really need to find myself a hobby to do when he is busy.. or something he can assign to me. Ill have to think about that. Is it weird that I've grown to miss someone that I've only known for a week? I don't want to be seen as a crazy person. I just got used to him being there I guess. Thankfully he has still been in and out to give me little instructions...which has helped keep.me in check. He instructed me to go deep to do this journal and omg am I going deep right now. Sooo deep. I haven't been this deep in a few days and woah. Spinny!

Anyway.. idk what I am even talking about at this point. Master has promised me that he would help me deal with my anxiety and insecurities. Its embarrassing to admit that I even have the. O want to come across as a sexy confident slave...but with him i melt. And no Master, not like the creepy Indiana jones gif you sent me.

On Sunday we spent all day being sarcastic and fun. I genuinely enjoy my conversations with him...and i hope he feels the same. He has a great sense of humor...and makes me laugh like an idiot at my phone a lot. On Monday I woke up feeling relaxed...and upon putting in my lush for the day, I started to go deep. Maybe it's my lush causing it now? Is that a trigger? Anyway.. i found myself filled with energy and feeling so sassy and confident. I almost feel like I cant mess anything up...like I couldn't make a mistake if I tried. Its weird.. like I felt perfect. It lasted for a few hours at work again like Saturday.. where I was able to be high functioning while also being a deep slave for Master. Something caused me to fall out if it though after a some time. I started to get anxiety and then I was back aware. I was sad to not be happy and deep anymore. Being deep feels so nice. I feel like a happy, calm person . And i feel like my whole body is on edge and just waiting for my Masters next message. I enjoy it.. i have never had these experiences before.

Master has changed my lush instructions a bit to be a little bit safer for my body...just in case. So now I only wear it in the morning until lunch and then sometimes for a little bit at nigh for my workout. Maybe because its a trigger who knows. Well...except him. He knows everything haha.

Today he was at a forth of July party so I was home a lot alone.. but he gave me instructions to be a good slave and show my husband how much freedom. He gets for the 4th. I was to practice my obedience by telling him how deeply enslaved I am and by offering him my mouth all day. He surprisingly only took advantage of it once...and oh my.. was I deep. Master instructed me to forget about it.. but I fully remember now. i laid down my baby for a nap and then went and crawled into bed with him. He snuggled up ne t to my butt..as he always does.. and I shyly whispered that I was enslaved... in hopes he wouldn't judge me.. and then asked if he would like a blow job. He said he was alright at first...because he was half asleep.. but then about 20 mins later he woke me for it. i don't even know what came over me.. I love sucking cock normally...but I reallllly loved it today. I found my pussy aching around my lush as I licked repeatedly up and down my husbands cock and balls. He was moaning and telling me how great it felt. And I kept teasing him with mg tongue and then I would take his cock in my mouth and press it deep... i would fuck my face slowly and then quickly until i gagged on his cock.. then I would go back to licking. This went on for probably 25 mins.. and I couldn't get enough. I just felt hungry . I wanted to be so obedient for my Master.. My husband reached over and pulled down my PJs at one point and found my lush pressed into my pussy. He was a little shocked i think...and rubbed my pussy a little. It felt nice...but no where near as nice as when I was slamming his cock into my mouth for my Master. I could have cum from just that.. but I didn't ask when Master gave me the instructions.. so I was good and just let myself get to the edge. My husband finally came after I started moaning a little and whining.. i couldn't really speak...because I was so deep and into the blowjob.. he stroked his cock for me while I licked his balls and he came on top his stomach. Then I just zoned out and laid on the bed for a few minutes until i was a real person again. Then I found myself happy and bubbly for a while until my anxiety and insecurities settled back in again. I then convinced my husband to take me to get food...and I cried in the car.. not because of Master...but because of my trip coming up. I'm so stressed. How does one accept that their Mother has died.. when you lived in another state and hadn't spoken to her in months.

I don't want to be depressing and I have already filled a whole notepad at this point. Woah.

Umm anyway. I freaking miss my Master.. and I hate it. Why do I miss him. Quit being cute. (But really don't please)

Haha. Anyway ..im watching your comments! Feel free to say hi Xoxo I wrote way too much..

sorry,

slave.

--------

[suicidal-bitch-countdown]

Fucking bitch is still alive. Unfortunately.

And the fallout from the failed suicide has really been awful and made me deeply wish I didn't fuck it up.

More people making fun of and bullying me, accusations of staging my suicide (really?), my property vandalised, I now experience gag reflex in response to any pill that I see because I've taken about 100 according to doctors, which later made me throw up for hours, and most likely losing my job on attendance grounds (subject to appeal).

I haven't had the strength to do anything to myself because I'm too weak physically. And it's so easy to fuck it all up turns out.

Petrol burns your skin and nether regions in ways that I didn't expect, and instead of setting myself on fire I ran around frantically and tore off my dress in panic.

Tying up rope takes a while and you've really got to account for the height, because first tie was far too low (so my feet would touch the ground), and the second was too high, meaning I had to faff about with pulling a big tree root to be able to prop myself up, but everything turned out to be so time consuming, a pair of dog walkers ran into me and I then knew everything was over.

Seeing your Mum cry is horrible. Even when She's hurt you in the past, it was still sad. Although having to live with Her now, I've remembered why we're not compatible and get on each other's nerves. Nothing has changed and She's too stuck in Her ways. I know I won't be able to function for too long having been lured to live under the same roof again.

Reading this blog again though, ensured I realise that there's no way out of this. You must keep your word and promise. No ifs or buts, bitch. Even if my Love has let me down in some ways, I've let Her down more. I've now learned some crucial things that I didn't know before, of course when it's too late. And they make me feel so fucking guilty. My friend who gets annoyed whenever I defend Her needs to stop his jealousy-fuelled moaning. You're another person who tried to turn me against Her. You're the one who tried to convince me She wanted me dead (!), and this is one of the things that really hurt Her when I said it in anger. He insists what a bully She is, but have you ever considered the second side of the story? Lol no cause you're biased as heck, so just give it a rest.

Apparently if I was really suicidal I'd have neglected my job, so now I have and I'm sacked. Appeal was sort of on autopilot and peer pressure, but really that should be the final straw as to why I go and die. Why are you so fucking weak? What are you waiting for? When your money runs out?

Ironically I'm going on a booked non-refundable holiday on an island in days. Hopefully I find a lighthouse accessible to public or another good hazard to throw myself off from. I haven't tried jumping from heights as a method of harm before. Since tablets and hanging failed, maybe this won't…… Just need to make sure it doesn't close early like it was the case that turbulent Sunday…… And when I disappeared people thought I went home! Haha, now it goes to show nobody knows a damn thing about me. Absolutely nothing.

Remember what I've said before, if I fail, I will try it again. Better fucking do it right though to spare everyone more suffering, including me, and so I don't ultimately get locked up in an asylum, as that'd be fate worse than death. So the race against time is on. Remember it bitch. Remember of the relief you leaving will bring. Monster abusers like you deserve to burn in hell, and I'll make sure of it. The correct punishment for hurting my Love is death. So you ought to pay.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No…don’t mention meet cute Karasu….not in the presence of an Otoya fic….gotta stay in the Otoya headspace for hollyhock….

FR it’s almost kinda nice how since it’s not in your face if you aren’t feeling particularly angsty he can kinda just be a silly guy LOL

Oh yeah the malicious sliding double press…yikes…also when Kuon tackles Nagi?? If he’s taking down a 6’3 giant imagine like a 5’3 girl like that’s just getting sudden deathed

LMAOOO I love the use of that emoji it’s so funny to me the shaking head one, but fr the Itoshis can’t have it all!! Another Karasu request on top of all the ones I already knew of oh em gee Karasu nation rise up….take it easy though LOL!!! Can’t rush greatness but also burnout is the worst too so I hope you’re having fun writing everything too hehe

That’s honestly a big brain move…gotta leave some space in between reading to allow myself to forget some details so I can kinda be surprised when I watch LMAO

BRO THE CHIGIRI LEG MENTIONS SHSH every time they bring it up im like…haha…hahahahaha…whyarewebringingupthepast….heshealedright??? Erm yeah I feel like it’d be a huge waste of his development if he didn’t at LEAST make it to the World Cup so praying the authors don’t pull an Akutami Gege!!!!

LMAOOO in character it is….yeah I wonder if maybe it’s because of the way his hair is styled that the pairing of the two makes him look extra scruffy….not sure but yeah not my favorite

No definitely…fs present in every fandom I’ve definitely seen a bunch in JJK too (sometimes with Yuta which leaves me so confused) but um!! To each their own I guess. Lol.

BRUH RIN AND NANASE HAS ME CRYING “you are my property now” WHAT???

You could never make me hate kurona omg FR his character profile shdgshs the braid bread (?? I think) and his fav animal being a shark is so cute he’s really just chilling, not a single mean bone in his body!! The way he cheered up Reo was ADORABLE im so glad they included that additional time in the movie shdgshs especially since we won’t really be seeing him in S2 besides maybe some background shots…I really wanna see more scenes of them off field too!! Kinda like the manga additional time with Team Kindness LOL show me some real friends please…..

OOOOOO gonna go hunt for them those look good…

Wait also LIGHT NOVEL?? Waiting to get my hands on the full thing but from what I’ve seen floating around DHDGSHSH BAROUUUUUU omg it’s basically exactly what we discussed before LMAO

-Karasu anon

AHHHH it’s def a slow burn with otoya so especially at first it’s going to be tough but i think it will be worth it…it’s hard work making eita “red flag” otoya into a tragic love interest but i think i may pull it off yet 😏

TRULY he is so versatile like you can explore his complexities and whatnot or you can just be like. fluffy squishy cutie boy. and both work honestly!! i will always be a nagi lover at heart fr

literally omg or can you imagine playing in the u20 match and getting absolutely slammed by oliver AKDFJHSDF pls…the reality of being a female in bllk may not be the most glamorous (but at least you’re surrounded by hot guys??? although like half of them are lowkey weird asf so it’s not really that much of a bonus)

THE SHAKING HEAD AND NODDING EMOJIS CRACK ME UP EVERYTIME they’re so unserious 😭 especially w that fuckass little smile they have SKDLJFLS and yes i agree the itoshi bros should suffer too sometimes!! lmao i’ve written for both of them once and like they honestly are fun to write but smth about how popular they are makes me not want to write for them even more!! and YESSS karasu nation is pulling up fr HAHA i think he is slowly but surely becoming this blog’s brand but ykw i’m okay with that!! and yes i have been enjoying writing hehe especially for karasu bro…he’s so perfect i love him 🥹 (as you know vv well HAHA)

yeah like i lowkey could not tell you most of what happens during the third selection and sometimes i want to go back and reread because there’s so many good karasu and otoya panels in it (that’s like the arc where they’re most prominent after all) but then i stop myself because i want to be delighted by watching it animated!! i do think that if nothing else it’ll be super hype to see a lot of the goals that happen in third selection/u20 arc so i’m doing my best to hold out for now…we’ll see if i can last until october though

my guess is that he’s going to have some “going out in a blaze of glory” type of moment where he says something that mirrors his awakening where he says that he doesn’t care if he never runs again and puts everything into that one game, which allows him to score a goal for bllk that wins them a crucial game but also puts him out of commission possibly forever. depressing af but i do agree that he’s probably not going to go out for a while just because he’s one of the main characters and seems to be one of the author’s favs

his hair is like super thick idk?? i do think it adds smth to the stubble that overall is an interesting picture…honestly the panels of him younger where he doesn’t have the facial hair are soo handsome though like give me five seconds and i can fix him fr (not his womanizing though just the mustache LMAOAO)

it’s the most random characters!! i’ve seen it for nagi too kind of?? like that man canonically has 0 friends 0 bitches 0 parents that care about him…he is NOT going to be flirty or good at intimacy!! otoya aiku yukimiya and reo are right there too like all of them are stated to be popular w girls and half of them are also fboys…but oh well whatever makes people happy!! i shan’t yuck anyone’s yum (though i will most likely stay away for the most part)

dude rin was so foul for that too LMAOAO??? like why did he feel the need to say that…“you are my property now” rin you are a 16 year old boy. that is also a 16 year old boy. HELP?? he’s so lucky karasu and shidou weren’t on the field when he whipped that one out i knowww they would’ve bullied him so bad (lowkey karasu and shidou both give such older brother vibes but in exact opposite ways SDJKFNS)

KURONA IS SO SWEET!! and he just has no beef no problems kind to everyone truly an ideal man. he was so sweet cheering up reo too i hope we see more of them (iirc they were standing kinda together in the s2 trailer?? so maybe that means we’ll get scenes of them!!). i also feel like the additional times are going to be funny and will hopefully show more of them just being silly…manifesting a karasu and otoya additional time that’s just them being menaces 🤞🏻 i feel like additional time is one thing that the anime def got right they’re always so funny to watch and really show the dynamics between characters that you might not consider otherwise yk

they are really good HAHAH i hope you like them if you try them!!

WE READ BAROU TO FILTH FR!! like the ln basically confirmed everything we’ve been saying which is so validating like omg maybe we do understand these characters on a deeper and cooler and more intellectual level than everyone else 🙄🤩 LMAOA the illustration of him helping his sisters is so cute too the way he’s so pressed but still being so sweet…plus the tank top and hair down combo is LETHAL!! i can’t wait to read them properly hehehe i love barou sm he’s surprisingly underrated considering how much screen time he got in season 1

[theodessadatinggames]

6/30/22 Update!

Well, hellooooooo beautiful people.

A year. More than a year even, since I last updated! I definitely owe everybody an explanation!!!

Shortly after the last update, I planned a mini hiatus of about a month and planned to be back in July 2021. However, at the end of last June, my family suffered a devastating fire, which caused the death of a relative and injuries to another. I had to take some time away from my job and wasn't thinking about my game either! Luckily, my relative that was injured is better now.

Then, I got COVID!!! I'm not immunocompromised, but very rarely get sick, so when I do, it comes down on me hard. I had to be hospitalized for around a month or so and I had to take it easy that next month. It honestly wasn't until February of this year that I felt like myself again, but luckily now I feel way better than I did back then.

I'm sure plenty of people will wonder why I didn't make a post like this in the moment, but I honestly didn't want to give out false hope when I had no idea what life would throw at me next LOL. But now that I am back, I'm confident that I can give 100% of myself to this project again, which WOW, I did not think people would miss it so much! All the posts here and on the forum made me so happy! Thanks for checking in on me!

Again, I apologize about my long absence and trust, the next time one comes around, I will definitely warn y'all beforehand.

Now, let's get to the fun stuff.

The number one question I'm sure is if the game is being canceled. DEFINITELY NOT. In fact, as soon as I started feeling about 90-95% again, I got back to work. I'm nearing the end of chapter 3 and the beginnings of chapter 4, which will be featuring a certain queen...

Of course, this means new timelines as well. The game's projected completion date is June 2024. Now, I'm actually shooting for June 2023 for the true completion date. So, about a year from now. However, if the game is ready before then, it will come out then. But the hard completion date is June 2024.

As for more recent timelines, my goal is to have a new update every month. My life/job has stabilized enough that I should be able to have content out every month. Some months might be more substantial than others, but content will come at least every month from now until the game is out (barring June of course, haha). So, the next update will be sometime next month...likely towards the end of it. Come with the first update will be the creation of a Discord. I've gotten many messages about if I'll ever make one, so here's your answer: YES.

Following July's update, in August I'll be opening up beta testing applications. Not too sure how many I'll take the first round, but don't fret if you're not chosen. I'll be taking many throughout the process until the game is out!

By December, I'd like to move the game into closed alpha, meaning I'll close the public demo (aka no password :wink:) and start working in earnest. I'll probably take more testing applicants at this point. The public demo will probably go to chapter 5 or 6 (don't forget the game will have at least 10-12 chapters, so that's nearly half the game!)

These are the dates/times I'm shooting for, but of course, if things happen quicker, great!

Finally, this is probably the longest post I've ever made, so if you make it all the way to the end, cheers to you! I'm very excited to get this game into your hands as soon as I can. Please, if you have any other questions, send them my way in an ask, or post them in the forum topic. 

Godspeed!

[thighs-of-betrayal-blog]

A Glorious Moment in Sakaar

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: You’ve always disliked Loki, but when you end up stranded with him on an unknown planet, you put your hatred aside in order to work together. Turns out, the only thing you really hate is how much you actually like him. 

Warnings: weapons, violence, enemies to lovers, implied smut

A/N: Had this in my drafts and just decided to post it... I’m definitely in a Loki mood on this fine day haha. 

I hope you all enjoy and as always, feedback is appreciated :)

Loki Masterlist

Out of all the people in the world who you could’ve gotten stranded with on an unknown, trash planet, Loki is the last person you’d wish to accompany you. 

As soon as the two of you get thrown off the Bifrost and land on random dirty roads, he speaks. “Well, this looks rather unpleasant.” 

Rolling your eyes, you don’t bother to respond, instead opting to scan the area around you. Wherever you landed, it’s heavily polluted. 

“I think I’d rather have ended up in Hel,” Loki complains, his hands on his hips as he surveys with you. 

“I wish you had.” 

Loki looks over at you and chuckles. “What? Don’t want to be stranded here with your favorite God?” 

You pretend to frantically look around. “What do you mean? I don’t see Thor anywhere.” 

“Very funny.” 

“I know I am,” you say before smirking at him and walking away. Loki is quick to match your pace. 

“Let’s try to find some type of civilization and figure out an escape plan.” 

Continuing to walk, you head towards a tall skyscraper-like building that you see in the distance. “Already on it.” You point ahead to show Loki. 

Loki scoffs. “No need to point. I noticed it a while ago.” 

“Sure you did.” 

“I did. I’m a God for crying out loud. I sense things long before-”

A knife sits at the base of your throat, stopping you in place. You look over at Loki who’s in the same predicament. 

“Loki?” you ask before you’re pulled back harshly, the knife lightly grazing your skin. Loki growls, lunging towards you. 

“Hurt them and you’ll all suffer merciless deaths by my hand.” 

You gasp at Loki’s protectiveness. Is it possible he cares for you? No, don’t even think about it. You hate this man. Remember?

The man behind Loki laughs at him before looking over at his partner. “I think the Grandmaster would like this one.” 

The person behind you nods. “Let’s take ‘em in.” 

You share one last glance with Loki before a bag is thrown over your head, preventing you from seeing anything else.

---

The bag’s removed from your head and you squint, your eyes adjusting to the harsh overhead lighting. You’re strapped to a chair, seated right next to Loki. 

In front of you is a man. He’s tall in nature, just like Loki, and he’s smiling at the two of you. 

“Where the hell are we?” You ask, struggling against the restraints. 

The unknown man walks up to you before speaking. “Now, there’s no reason to do that. I’m just simply feeling you out before deciding whether to kill you or not.” 

Again, Loki speaks up, surprisingly coming to your defense. “You’ll have to get through me before you even think of touching them.”

The man laughs at this and turns his attention onto Loki. “You must be the one they said I’d like… Seems like they were right. I do like you.” He claps his hands together. “Okay, so here’s the deal. You’re on my planet, Sakaar. I’m what they call the Grandmaster and usually with newcomers, I’d either kill them or throw them into the pits… which I guess is also death, but that’s not the point! The point is I like you two… especially you.” He points at Loki. “So, great news! You’re welcome to stay, I mean once people land here, they never really leave…” He awkwardly smiles at that, not knowing what else to say. 

You look over at Loki, who’s already staring your way. The two of you gaze at each other silently before the Grandmaster once again claps his hands. “Let’s get the cuffs off these two!” 

Once the cuffs are opened, you rub your wrists and stand up. The Grandmaster motions for the two of you to get away. “Go! Go mingle and have some fun!” 

You look around the room and notice a gathering of people a few feet away. They’re all drinking and dancing, seemingly having the time of their lives. 

You grab Loki’s arm and guide him towards the crowd. “C’mon, we gotta find a busy area to talk.” 

Loki pulls his arm from your grasp. “Shouldn’t we find somewhere quiet to talk privately?” 

You roll your eyes. “No, because then someone might hear us.” 

“So instead, we’re to talk in the middle of a gathering?” 

Shaking your head in irritation, you gesture towards the group of people. “They all seem drunk! Sounds like the perfect opportunity to blend in and discuss.” 

Loki sighs. “Very well. I need a drink first.” 

As he walks towards the bar, you once again grab his arm, stopping him in place. “What’re you doing?” 

“I just told you. I’m getting a drink.” 

“We need to be level-headed for this.” 

He scoffs. “Darling, I really think you’ve forgotten that I’m a God. I can’t get drunk.” 

“Yes, you can. I’ve witnessed it multiple times.” 

He shakes his head. “I was just full.” 

“That’s not the point! Just please-” You look towards the dancefloor. “Dance with me.” 

“Pardon me?”

Instead of answering, you grab his hand and drag him over to the other dancers, pulling him flush against you, your back to his chest. You swear you hear Loki gasp as you sway your hips against him. 

“What’re you doing?” His mouth is right next to your ear, his hands moving to grip your waist tightly. Your body heats up with his touch and you want to scream over its betrayal. 

You turn your head slightly to look up at him. “We need to blend in.” 

As he stares down at you, you get lost in his eyes. They’re an exquisite, light blue, pulling you in and making you forget about the situation around you. Erasing those thoughts from your mind, you focus on the plan. “I say we find where their weapons are placed. Steal some and then find a ship to escape back to Asgard on.”

“Your plan sounds impossibly easy.” 

“Maybe it will be.” 

“You know just as well as myself that it won’t be. But, I’ll go along with it. It’s not the worst of plans you’ve thought of and I fear we don’t have many other options.” 

“Gee, thanks.” You spin around in his arms so you’re now facing him, chest to chest. Loki’s staring down at you, his eyes blazing. One of his hands moves to your face, grabbing your chin and tilting your face upwards. He licks his lips, his tongue sliding out to swipe across his bottom lip. You watch and you can’t help but wonder what his mouth would feel like against yours. 

He leans down until his face is only inches from yours and you find yourself panting with a neediness you haven’t felt in a long time. Loki’s staring at your lips, ready to claim them for himself-

You remember where you are and pull away quickly, putting some distance between the two of you. “What’re you doing?” 

Loki grins. “Just blending in, darling. You didn’t seem to mind.” 

Trying to steady your rising heart rate, you take a deep breath. “Let’s just go find their weapons.” 

Loki gestures for you to walk in front of him. “After you.”

---

Finding and stealing weapons turned out to be easier than you thought. Loki managed to grab multiple knives, as well as the same giant gun that you did. 

Now, you’re heading towards the ship’s garage, intending to steal the best one you come across. You’re in an elevator, heading up to the top floor. As the doors are about to open, Loki puts his arm out in front of you. “I hear voices on the other side. Follow my lead.” 

You nod your head. The doors open, revealing two guards with guns. In an instant, Loki has them both on the ground, knives stabbed into their chests. 

He turns to look at you and grins. “Told you they’d come in handy.” 

“You just wanted to show off.” 

“For you? Always.” 

You roll your eyes for what feels like the hundredth time today and follow Loki towards a large, circular ship. “You think they’d have more guards in this area.” 

Loki walks over to a station pressed against the wall, searching for the ship’s key. “You’d think, but let’s not stick around to find out.” Once he locates the key, he picks it up. “Ah, got it!” 

The elevator opens back up, revealing ten new guards. 

“Uh, Loki?” 

Loki turns just in time to see five guards running full speed at him. He laughs before throwing the gun to the floor, placing the ship key in his pants, and pulling out two knives. “Well, hello. This is going to be fun.” 

Across the room, you’re shooting at the other five guards, backing up as they move forward. You manage to knock three of them to the ground and drop the gun as the other two come running at you, full speed. 

“Y/N!” Loki yells. 

You turn to see him throwing you a knife and you catch it midair. Turning back to the two guards, you smirk. “Unfortunately for you two, I’m rather skilled with knives.” 

“Not as skilled as myself though, just to be clear!” 

You chuckle at Loki’s comment. “That’s what he tells himself to sleep better at night.” 

Right after you say those words, you’re lunging at the guards, slicing your knife into one of their thighs. They hiss out in pain and you use the opportunity to grab them, placing your knife at the base of their neck. The other guard rushes you and you kick out, hitting them square in the stomach before dragging your knife across the captured guard’s neck, causing him to fall to the floor. You fall down and roll over, jumping back onto your feet before the other guard can tackle you. 

Maneuvering around the guard, you swipe your leg out, tripping him up, causing him to fall to the floor. You roll onto the floor behind him and wrap your thighs around his neck, effectively cutting off his air supply. Once he’s knocked out, you get back up, wiping sweat off the top of your eyebrow. Loki is staring at you, an impressed look on his face. You stare back at him, admiring how he looks. He’s leaning against the ship, his hair disheveled with his arms crossed over his chest. The guards he fought are scattered across the floor, each one either dead or knocked out. 

He walks up to you, his tall frame towering over you. “It was rather hot to see you beat up those guards.” His hand reaches down towards your face, his thumb wiping a few spots of blood off your cheek. 

You close your eyes, trying to get a hold of yourself. When you reopen them, Loki is back over towards the ship, looking at you. “Ready, darling?” 

Letting out a shaky breath, you will your legs to follow him onto the ship.

---

A gentle shake to your shoulder wakes you up. Slowly opening your eyes, you come face to face with Loki, who’s looking down at you with a small smile on his face, his hand still resting on your shoulder. You stare at his hand and he pulls it away before clearing his throat. 

“We’re almost back at Asgard.” 

You nod. “How long was I out?” 

“Two hours? I didn’t want to interrupt since it was the first time you looked peaceful in years.” 

Getting up, you glare at him. “Has anyone ever told you how charming you are?” 

“As a matter of fact, yes. Quite a few.” 

“I’m shocked.” You walk to the front of the ship, taking a seat in the pilot’s chair. “This thing on autodrive?” 

Loki moves to take a seat next to you. “No, I figured I’d let it go so we can crash into the nearest crater and die. Put you out of your misery.” 

“Out of my misery?” 

“Yes, since you so clearly hate being around me.” 

Sighing, you turn the chair so you’re facing him. “Who said I hated you?”

Loki mimics you. “Nobody. I can just tell.” 

“I don’t hate you.” Well, maybe a little. But, not for the reason he thought.

He raises an eyebrow. “No?” He sighs, rubbing a hand down his face. “It’s fine if you do. Most individuals I’ve encountered end up hating me.” 

“Well, I’m not like most individuals.” 

He smiles at that. “No, you’re most certainly not.” 

Nervous, you start picking at the arm of the chair. It’s Loki, for crying out loud. The man you can’t stand. So, why is he making you feel this way?

“You almost kissed me in Sakaar. Why?”

The question leaves your mouth before you can even think about the consequences. However, Loki doesn’t seem to mind. Instead, he seems excited by the question, his eyes lit up in amusement. 

“I told you. We needed to blend in.” 

“We were already blending in by dancing. No one was even sparing us a second glance.” 

“No? Well, maybe I just wanted to kiss you then. For my own pleasure.” 

His confession spills over you like a bucket of ice water. Your body is both hot and cold, feeling too much at once. 

Your mouth slightly opens as you gasp quietly. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.” 

All of a sudden, Loki’s moves closer to you. Too close. You can feel his breath wash over your face as his hand slowly crawls up your arm. “I may lie quite frequently, but when it comes to you, I only tell the truth.” 

With a surge of confidence, you grip the front of his leathered shirt. “Prove it to me then.” 

He growls before smashing his mouth onto yours. His lips are everything you’ve ever imagined. Soft and unmistakingly yours. 

“You’re mine now, darling. All mine,” he whispers into the kiss. Grabbing your waist, he pulls you onto his lap, your legs dangling off the sides of the chair. “Say it. Say you’re mine.” 

“I’m yours,” you manage to say, moaning when he bites down on your lower lip. 

After one more kiss, he rests his forehead against yours. “You and I, darling, have a lot of catching up to do when we get back.” He runs his fingers over your thigh. “The things I’m going to do to you. You better prepare yourself.” 

Gulping, you shiver at his promise. This ship couldn’t get you to Asgard fast enough. You’ll let him ruin you, from the inside-out. But, only him. Only Loki. You grin at the thought before leaning in to kiss him again.

[sexyandhedonistic]

idk if you remember me saying i'd come back w/ success after learning about the law but here i am! I spent time just learning the law, putting it into my own words and applying it and holy shit, like, I won't say I didn't struggle at first, but it was the first time ever that I really had that 'click' and so much started pouring into my life. They're not HUGE (but is anything ever huge, lol) but they're so wonderful and came in when I started taking responsibility for my godhood and understanding creation is finished.

1. It's so much easier, and FUN to have a mental diet and live in the end. I worked on my self concept for this because once upon a non-existent time I was a crazy illogical and self-pitying person; who thought everything was always harder than it looks and only masters make things look easy. Not the case anymore. I am OBSESSED with recognizing my inner world as the real world and living there.

2. I also became more at peace with the people around me because I feel like I no longer have anything to prove to anyone, and now me and all my SPs (non-romantic) are closer than ever.  3. Sometimes I get all kinds of aches and pains, etc. and I also had my period around this time. I affirmed to never have pain again and had 1) zero cramps, 2) pressure and pain from choking at an odd angle (waking up) instantly vanished when it would stay with me for hours before, 3) migraines that usually mess with my vision a bit instantly faded away. Even today, I got a fever last night and woke up this morning to find I was perfectly fine! 4. Kicked my brutally destructive thoughts to the curb. I usually have some really terrible thoughts about myself that peak once a month. They get so bad that I end up losing friends, missing out on shit, hating myself overall. 

5. Manifested healthier habits for my brother that was recently diagnosed with illness and previously suffered from chronic depression. The next day he's starting to keep up with his family members again, going to the gym, planning to go back to school, threw out all his unhealthy food, cleaned his apartment despite his depression causing him to neglect everything for months to actual years. 6. Manifested more/constant interaction with an SP and several communities of mine that I wanted to be more active in and more close to the people in! :)  7. Became even more beautiful and attractive, not just in appearance, but my behaviour etc. and that's led to a bunch of people (esp. men) wanting to know me and flirt with me whenever they see me (but I already have a partner haha). 8. I scripted some new desires, since I like seeing my manifestations on paper, and set the intention that they appear in my 3D overnight since I know they're already manifested. But I didn't really stick to that cause of all kinds of things happening last night but any who: this morning, my mom sent me a video of a new penthouse project in a really upscale area and it looked just like the pent I originally wanted. I asked for the official pricing and she said $300K. For the area it's in that's literally crazy, so I looked into it and found out that she was right! That particular site was going for 300K with a super low mortgage! I forgot that I desired a ridiculously low cost of living even in the wealthiest areas! But now, I realized I no longer want that penthouse, and I can manifest whatever I want without ever working a day in my life and paying for nothing, but owning everything! Right now, I want to manifest a tropical/French chateau themed mansion by the beach. 9. Mom got in an accident last night and it triggered a very big opportunity for her, which directly coincides with my desire for the people around me to always live wonderfully and get what they want.  This isn't everything, and there is so much more coming to show itself in the 3D, but I think this is enough for now. Thank you for everything Hera, ilysm!!

WOWWWWW this is incredible! Congratulations, my love! I'm so so proud of you!

[franeridart]

Anon said: [Spoilers for non-manga readers] opinion on Baku's hero name?

Very Bakugou, honestly don’t mind it at all! Mostly just surprised it’s, like, legal in the bnha universe for heroes to call themselves stuff like explodo-kills (and also that there isn’t a character limit for hero names??) but that Bakugou would stick with it is pretty damn in character for him so I like it xD still, I’ll probably just call him Dynamight if I’ll ever need to use his hero name lmao

Anon said: not to be the most romantic sap but uh just a kiss by lady a is killin me

Nothing sappy about letting romantic songs get to you!!!! I say, as I’m constantly crying over romantic songs so this mindset benefits me as well lol

Anon said: i may or may not have stumbled across some of your older kiribaku art, the stuff with akane, and she's the best child oc tbh. i actually like her and i tend to not be a fan of child ocs but she's just the cutest darn thing 🥰

I’m so glad you like her!!!!! She was a lot of fun, what a good gremlin ;;;

Anon said: uve heard of dragon!kiri w his hair spikes up, now get ready for dragon!kiri w his hair dowm lookin like the softest boy

AW HECK I think I’ve drawn him in the past, actually!!!! Spike-haired Kiri will forever be my fav Kiri, but there’s just something about hair down Kiri isn’t it!! What a cute boy ;;;; all sharp edges and soft curves, what a lovely sight

Anon said: can i just say your itafushi art is so cute? these two already make me feel and then your art just (つω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I really need to draw them more, don’t I! goge kinda monopolized my attention there, but the way itafushi makes me feel..........boy the way they make me feel ;;;;

Anon said: good day, poké au thought: 12 y/o bakugo somehow catches a dreepy as like his 2nd pokemon and never questions it

WHY NOT WHY NOT I have a whole team in my mind for the boy tbh but dreepy is so cute ;;;; and anyway, I like my poke!bakugou with as many dragon types as he could possibly get his hands on hahaha

Anon said: Please know that, amongst other factors, you were one of the maon reasons I stsrted Jujutsu Kaisen two days ago and there isnothing more to say except thank you and I'm absolutely in debt with you for that, thank you so much 😍

I’m so so SO glad you’re liking it!!!!!! It can get kinda heavy but it’s such a great story.... honestly I’d been wanting to start it since I saw the first pv for the anime all the way back last year but I was like, you know it’s a mappa anime! so I wanted to watch the anime as a new thing, cause I love mappa, but three episodes in I couldn’t hold back and just binged it. It’s kind of story that just makes you wanna drink it all in one go, isn’t it? so good so good

Anon said: makeup artist kirishima and model bakugo or makeup artist bakugo and model kirishima? :0c

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm can’t say I see either of them much into fashion tbh, but if I had to pick probably model Kiri and artist Baku? I just don’t think Baku would be able to stay still enough to get photographed, and he wouldn’t like the photographer bossing him around anyway, and catwalks would be impossible for him to stomach imho, he’s too restless for it! At least it’s the way I see it haha

Anon said: fdgdhdkfhdafs i had a thought, what if bakugo prefers dogs and kirishima prefers cats and when they meet each other and become friends it's like, "oh." because they have some striking similarities to their fave animals

That’s been my headcanon for a while now, actually!! I think for me it came from two characters in a manga I like that are a lot like a dog and a cat but have inverted fav animals and when I read about that I was like “oh, right, makes sense since they like each other” and then my brain turned it krbk because when does it not lmao

Anon said: your art is the soothing balm to my soul recently, thank you for posting so much beautiful content. i hope you have a lovely week. ♡

sob thank you so much, I’m glad my doodling can help you feel better ;; <3

Anon said: Friendly reminder anon from last time: that post I left last time I had only eaten 7 gingersnaps that day and hadn’t drank any water. So that encouraged me to actually self care. Thank you.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well I hope you’re taking care of yourself today too! And as fair trade, I’ll do the same myself! <3

Anon said: Hi! I'm an artist and I'm thinking of making a sideblog for my art. Do you have any tips?

Ah man, I’m sorry but I’m not the best person to ask this to! I started this sideblog cause I had too many followers on my main and I didn’t want my stuff to be seen by that many people at first, so whatever I did probably isn’t what you’re looking for :( but really there isn’t much to it, just post whatever you like to draw, tag it as best as you can (but remember that only the first five tags appear in the search page) and be patient, since whatever you do at first you won’t get much attention anyway - the only real advice I can give is to draw something that makes you happy and that you’d draw anyway even if no one were to see it, it’ll make keep posting despite a possible lack of activity a lot easier!

Anon said: Your goge art🥺🥺

I just love them so much ( TT’’’TT)9

Anon said: how the fuck have i not been following you? I remember seeing your bakushima art in the bnha tag and always thinking it's so cute. Now you're into JJK too??? and the satosugu art??? fuckin, diabetes incarnate. I love it. I love you. Your art 10/10. I'm tired lmao.

WELL thank you for the follow!! And for thinking my stuff is cute!!!!! I do my best with that, I want all the soft things for my favs 😌

Anon said: Are you gonna draw Gojou/Getou comic?? 👉🏻👈🏻 WOULD LOVE TO READ IT

you mean an actual doujin? I don’t think I will, sorry! I’m really no good at long projects orz but thank you so much for wishing to read something like that from me!!! ;A;

Anon said: Hello! YOUR ART IS SO FREAKING GORGEOUSSSS!!! I love them so much!! If I may ask you one question. Between Getou amd Gojou, who do you see as top/bottom? Just curious

THANK YOU!!!!! And I honestly don’t care as long as they’re happy and together!!! please let them be happy and together 🙏🙏🙏

Anon said: i want you to know!!! i followed you for your kiribaku art but!!! i love your art so much that idc what you post because it's all just!!!! incredible and wonderful and stunning!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! this means a lot to me so seriously thank you so much!!!!

Anon said: d'you think bakugo has like headaches or migraines after training or battles because of how loud his quirk is? like, i listen to music slightly too loud and my head is sending me to hell. (unless you go with the hoh hc which is also 👌)

I like to think Baku’s body is attuned enough to his own quirk that he wouldn’t get drawbacks of the kind tbh, though that wouldn’t be a bad thought for when he just starts to increase the output/width and strength of his explosions............ well, I myself suffer from chronic headaches and migraines so I’m always up for projecting on my favs ngl lmao

Anon said:  so like... dragon kirishima's eyes glow right? like, if we equate his dragon-ness to unbreakable his eyes glow? they also glow when he's half shifted? honestly i just live glowing eyes

Oh hell yeah I’m all for that, definitely definitely, I love glowing eyes with my whole heart and Kiri’s eyes in unbreakable are just so!!!!!! NGH *chef kiss* the more of unbreakable there is in his dragon form the happier I am ( TT^TT)9

Anon said: me, scrolling through your blog: ah shit guess im gonna have to start watching jjk

!!!!! hope it won’t hurt you too much, anon!!

Anon said: dragon!kiri and bakugo having a tug-of-war match over a piece of meat. both have it in their mouths. both are determined to win.

Kiri is turned into his dragon form and Baku still wins, hell yeah

Anon said: your satosugu is top tier!! it's hard to find stuff for them that isn't straight up angst so your art has been super cool and also very very cute!! (tho if you went with angst, it wouldn't be a bad thing obviously)

AH I’m so happy to hear you like them!!!! but also happy you wouldn’t mind angst, as I do like them the best happy and soft but my brain, my brain has been throwing sads my way for a while now 👀 I got some ideas

Anon said: What program/device do you use??

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a wacom intuos!! Though I got myself an ipad+procreate just yesterday and I’ve been messing around with it, let’s see how that one goes!

Anon said: *inahles* i am simping for mohawk man please tell me everything about your ocs immediately or i will detonate

THANK YOU FOR LIKING HIM HE’S CALLED DAVIDE Dav for short, he’s a cat of a man and a music instrument enthusiast (mostly string ones, but he’s very good with the piano as well) - he works in a music instruments store, and he’s a uni student majoring in philosphy! He doesn’t like bothersome things, he isn’t very good at taking anything seriously or putting effort in stuff, but he’s very chill to spend time with and generally a nice chat both if you want mindless thoughts or deep conversations (he’s a philosophy major after all). He can’t sing for shit, he’s got two cats (tago and schelly!), and he just wants a quiet life to laze around but all his friends are hurricanes in human bodies, but then again, he picked them himself so he can’t complain. He’s a good boy!! I’m planning a comic for him and his boy Ross >:]

[askfallenroyalty]

I don't think you did anything wrong. When a story is being written, there are a lot of different ways to adress and express something and maybe that's why you're being misunderstood. I think there are just too many things to adress in this story that maybe some people will get when these things are implicitly implied and some people will not. So when a breaking point comes, they'd think it came out of nowhere. You can see this with the amount of asks you receive asking you often the same thing.

Does that mean it's wrong? Ofc not! I myself was a little bit confused with Frisk's reactions and conduct in general until you explained it in your recent asks, and I thought man, that was what I was missing!

Now, yes I believe some parts of the story could have been explained in a different way, because in my opinion there's a lot to read between the lines. If you don't try to understand the characters, you'll clearly be confused as hell. But that's why I love this story! As you said before, there's nothing meant to be black/white coded, and I really appreciate the world and the character's complexity in general. You don't have some of the answers in hand, an that's when you have to analize! (At least that's what I do haha)

I also really felt like telling you something I've been relating to, so I'm putting the respectives tw if someone doesn't want to keep reading (TW: Suicide mention).

In the DW Arc, when the Christmas and Feylow stuff happened, I realised through Chara that I was doing the exact same thing with a friend of mine. He was going through a lot of stuff, and tried to commit suicide multiple times. I was focusing a huge amount of energy on him because I was afraid to lose him, and when he suddenly stopped talking to me so he could take a break, I felt really lost. Because he was the person I talked with the most, one of my dearest friends, and the idea of losing him and not being there to stop it made me insanely anxious, because that used to be the situation most of the times. Now it's been a year since he's stopped talking to me, and I don't exactly know the reason. But I couldn't keep running behind someone who didn't seem to keep wanting me around. And if it wasn't for you, I couldn't have realized how much this was hurting me.

And now, as much as it hurts me to see him acting this distant and cold with me, I'm okay with it. I really am. Because I now have the tranquility to see him continue, even when things are not okay. I can't force a friendship and I really needed to understand that back then. I trust him as much as he trusts me.

I really wanted to thank you for writing this story because it has helped me in a way I didn't expect, and I'm sure it will help a lot of people too! I'm even learning from your way of taking and discussing things haha.

I just wanted you to have this tranquility I have with this story because I trust it'll work out and explain itself once it's finished. And I just can't express how thankful I am to be reading your story.

Thank you again,

I'm looking forward to more of your work and please, take care! Don't stop doing what you enjoy! 🦋

putting it under a readmore because of how long the ask/response is, sorry!

i’m at a loss of words because wow, this ask really hit in a way i’ve never really could of anticipated. when writing AFR, i write a story about things I felt. I’ve been Chara, I’ve been Asriel and Frisk at points in my life. I write because I need to tell their stories and make it real, specifically for my own sake of getting through my own pain and to tell the world this is who i am and that I will be ok, there is hope in this world. It’s a selfish desire for me, but ultimately that’s what art is i feel. I couldn’t draw this much and put so much time and effort into something without it being meaningful or personal.

but art is communication, and when I write to be seen and to be heard, I know there’s others who are reading and are connecting with the work. (otherwise, I wouldn’t be getting asks right? its a lonely process, i forget there’s the second half of the equation -you guys) and i’ll do my best to make sure people are accommodated and can experience this story without hurting in a way that’s past enjoying a emotionally gripping piece of media. i don’t want people to be upset or hurt for my work, and I want to ensure I can make this without hurting others.

I try to leave a lot of ambiguity and room for people to interpret stories and I don’t mind people missing the point or interpreting things vastly differently than what I intended. that’s fine, that’s what art is all about. i don’t want to hold people’s hands and tell them what’s happening or what they should feel -i want them to choose and decipher and think things over. stories should be stimulating and thought provoking, and i can’t decide what those thoughts are. I wouldn’t want to. Personally, if it means people become more confused and lost over the story -well, that’s a trade off I have to take. if it means the story is more up-to-interpretation, than it’s worth it to me.

i do regret with how fast and punchy the arc ended up, and I feel my hints may have been too weak. asriel/flowey has been bluntly surprised/asking to be killed twice, he hasn’t felt like himself since dying and has lost his support systems ect. as a person who’s Been Through Shit, I thought it was as obvious as the sun what was to come but thinking on it now?

with how distance asriel is, how limited the perspective is to chara (who hasn’t known Asriel has been going thru the same depressive/suicidal thoughts as they have this whole time) it was a shock to the system. and in a way that’s fine in my eyes if the reader was completely shocked as you can emphasize more with chara that way... but in the same sense its horrifying for them, it must be for the reader as well.

and I do feel I should of thought of a way to handle the scenario to where it was less in your-face with Asriel’s decent into desperation and attempts. I don’t want to ever show it on screen, I don’t want to ever go into detail and make it any sort of fun for the viewer. it’s supposed to be disturbing and painful and I tried to show how greatly painful it was affecting both chara and frisk. Suicide victims are victims and everyone involved suffer from it. It’s ugly and never something one should be anything but ugly.

that is my intent for it be that, but as I’ve heard from people it’s still a shock and went too far. Authorial intent doesn’t matter when people react to your stories. yes, the context can be good to have, but people’s feelings and reactions mean the world more. I hope with the added context of the complete story that helps it in the long run, but as it is I’m very unhappy with how I tackled it and I don’t really have a good answer to how I should of gone about it. but at the end of the day that doesn’t matter as it happened and I can’t change it.

i’m sorry about your friend and i’m sorry for the pain you’ve experienced as well. it’s not easy being in that position (nor is it for ur friend as well of course) and it’s perfectly fine to feel hurt and to take time for yourself to address those feelings. You, as a person, matter and your feelings are justifiably important as well. nobody asks to be mentally ill and your friend’s choices aren’t fully theirs because of that, but it doesn’t change how it’s affected and hurt you. Losing someone’s friendship has always been a painful and inevitable experience people must go thru in life. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through that, but I’m glad -so happy that my story has helped you in any amount. I sincerely wish you both the best and to heal, I’m proud of you anon for getting through this.

I can’t really express how much it means as a writer to see how my work helped you. Like I mentioned before, I write and feel like it’s by myself that makes this work but it’s a 2 way street -you guys contribute to the story and the story only exists and is perceived by you. without an audience, it really truly is just me here. what you gain and experience within a story is just as important as the writing of the work itself and I often forget that.

Thank you. This was a really nice and eye opening ask and it’s going to be on my mind for a while, haha. I hope once the story is done and I can post-correct how I handle the story, people can learn and gain meaning to it like you have. Sorry if this was a bit rambly, I’m very thankful for your response (as well as everyone else who’s messaged!) and I’m very happy and excited to continue and to do my best. Thank you all so much.

[spockandawe]

What are your favorite chinese webnovels? What are some of the differences youve noticed between cnovels and other types of novels?

That second question is really, REALLY interesting, and I really want to answer it well, and I am REALLY sure I’m going to do a bad job of answering it, so let me just noodle about that first question for a minute while I try to think XD

I went through some of my TOP-top favorite novels in more detail yesterday, but generally speaking, mxtx and meatbun are both at the top of the pack. They’re really good at writing compelling main characters and balancing piles of angst with plenty of humor and pulling everything together into a very satisfying ending (which is something I don’t alwaysssss see, even in some of the novels I really like). After them, The Disabled Tyrant’s Pet Palm Fish (transmigration, ancient chinese prince falls in love with pet fish) and Golden Stage (ancient chinese gay arranged marriage between bitter enemies(?)) are two novels that I love a lot, which both have very cute romances and go a bit lighter on the main character suffering front, and which I broadly recommend to anyone who’s interested in the genre. They didn’t end stick the landing QUITE as hard as an svsss or tgcf, but they still were very nice.

Then, let me see. I’m trying to remember which books I’ve read in the last year, and am doing a terrible job, haha. I will say that a book I enjoyed for like... eighty percent of it and then the ending let me down terribly was The Dreamer In The Spring Boudoir (modern day career woman transmigrates into barely-fantasy ancient china novel as the disliked primary wife of a nobleman), which is also the only straight webnovel I’ve read so far. The main character and romance were delightful, but that ending... haha, wow, I felt betrayed. But I did like the first half very much!! I’m idly contemplating a deliberately-partial reread. Then I’m currently like two chapters away from catching up with the current translation of The Wife Is First (ancient chinese prince lives out time travel fixit fic, determined to treat his spouse better this time around). I’m also catching up on Heroic Death System (transmigration, across MANY universes, where the goal is to die heroically in each one, and also maybeeeee to find his boyfriend in each one. this shit gets fucking bananas. in one of them, he emotionally seduces his boyfriend while he’s a dolphin. in another one, he’s a sentient mushroom. i’m in the middle of a section titled ‘I Am An Evil Pen’. yes, like a writing utensil type of pen. this is the weirdest book I’ve read so far). Oh, and Thousand Autumns (righteous sect leader gets sabotaged and loses a fight, wakes up blind and amnesiac, demonic sect leader is like ‘lol i bet i can turn him evil’ and accidentally catches feelings along the way).

What else... I’m keeping up with (but behind on) some others. First, there’s How To Survive As A Villain (modern terminally ill CEO transmigrates into stallion novel, wakes up as villain, accidentally seduces hero). Then, we’ve got Transmigrating Into The Body Of The Heartthrob’s Cannon Fodder Childhood Friend (only modern webnovel I’ve read, young man transmigrates into beginning of gratuitous whump book, back in high school, and is determined to protect the protagonist from all the canonical suffering). Then there’s Pulling Together A Villain Reformation Strategy (guy transmigrates into story as the hero’s childhood friend who will eventually become his enemy and get killed, successfully acts out his part and dies, completely fails to realize he’s broken his friend’s heart in the process... and then wakes up in another character’s body). And then there’s The Villain’s White Lotus Halo (a transmigrator keeps bouncing from universe to universe as a cannon fodder villain, who gets like half a line before being killed. he tries to purchase an upgrade package so he can be a COOL villain instead, but accidentally gets sold a ‘white lotus halo’ package instead, so that no matter what he does, everyone is just DEEPLY moved by his appearance and is positive he did nothing wrong). All of those are EXTREMELY delightful. You may notice a running transmigration theme, which....... yeah, I think there are a TON of delightful stories in the webnovel scene that deal with this genre, which seem so rare in English language media.

Which makes a good transition point to what’s different about the cnovel scene! I’ve seen hardly any transmigration stories in English, and I’ve got a couple go-to examples for when I’m trying to explain it, but like. Only a couple. Which is such a shame! Like, there’s the default idea of ‘I was reading this book and then I woke up inside the book!!’ but it’s clearly such an established genre that people are playing with it in all kinds of interesting ways, like in The Villain’s White Lotus Halo or Heroic Death System setups. It’s kind of wild to me, because it seems like such a gimme for a nice easy story structure? Whatever kind of world you want to present, there’s no need to introduce it to the reader from the ground up, or find a good way to hook them in. Either the main character read the book in question and can explain the premise and why we should care in pov, or the main character is new to the universe too, and trying to find their own footing. I enjoy it a lot! I’ve sampled transmigration books that didn’t grab me, but I’ve sampled way more that did. 

And then, the one semi-technical answer I thought of to this question was the way that these novels tend to handle pov. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule that regular novels are restricted to one pov, or that pov can only change at hard breaks in the story, but if I saw a bog-standard american novel glide from pov to pov the way these novels regularly do, I would tend to wonder if it was sloppiness or a mistake, or I would grump to myself about how I don’t like omniscient third person pov. And I still don’t know exactly what I think about this, or why it’s different in here, but I’m pretty sure I like it a lot, especially for stories where the romance tends to play a large part :V 

I used to read a lot of Books About Writing, and read plenty of stuff about why you don’t DO this, but.... I like it! In dtppf, Jing-wang can’t talk, and when Li Yu is a fish, he can’t talk, and drifting from one of their perspectives to the other gives me lots of useful information about how they’re both feeling. Could that be conveyed through restricted pov? Maybe! But I’m typesetting the svsss extras right now, and I’m in the bing-ge vs bing-mei section, and we get a few brief flashes of bing-ge’s thoughts, and it’s so NICE. It’s information I would not have otherwise received, because Shen Qingqiu sure wasn’t going to notice it. But early in the story, that pov was withheld from me, which also made sense (or hua cheng’s pov was withheld from me FOREVER, which makes me so sad ;u;). There don’t seem to be any hard and fast rules, which makes me really nervous about writing fic and trying to match the style, but I do like it a lot! 

And I’m definitely not able to articulate this in the way that I would like to, or speak with any real authority (I’m not that widely read in the cnovel scene, and i’m not very genre-adventurous in english), but there’s something about the role that the romances play in these stories that’s different from what I’m used to expecting, and it’s VERY tasty to me. I only rarely read romance novels, because I’m not often interested in the romance as a primary plot driver, but the romances in these books play a more substantial role than I’m used to expecting. And I’m into it! It’s a balance closer to what I’d expect from, like, a shippy longform fanfic. Which covers a lot of ground and is NOT a precise measure, but there’s more emotional weight given to the romance than I would expect, but without the romance carrying ALL of the emotional weight, and it strikes a perfect balance for me in a way I’m not used to encountering. Now, some of this could definitely be due to me not finding the right authors, or right subgenres, or whatever. But in the genres I inhabit, it’s a subtle difference, but one I find compelling.

Oh, one last thing. The cultural differences, duh :P I’m only familiar with things like, say, ancient chinese court etiquette through a lens of fan-translated novels like these, and I didn’t grow up steeped in the culture in a way I’m used to the trappings of something like medieval european courts. But there’s a distinct flavor to the social dynamics of these novels, from the formal levels down to the casual, and I know it’s super intricate and detailed and that authors play with differing degrees of historical accuracy vs fictional fun, and I wish I was better equipped to speak to the nature of any of this. But I find it really compelling! I recognize that it’s only new to ME because I didn’t seek out chinese media before now. And, the point that I originally wanted to get to before I got super distracted: the flirting. The flirting and teasing are a very different flavor from what I would expect in most english language media, and I love it, even if I can’t speak to how much of that is purely cultural, and how much of it is like... the conventions of How Fiction Is Written varying by culture, if that makes sense. I adore seeing what flirting and affection and indulgence and attentiveness look like in different settings, and these books, with their heavy romantic focus, absolutely deliver.