#and whatever the fuck uther had going on

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

sometimes I go through the Cursed (netflix) tag and I'm always disappointed that it's 1000% the weeping monk/lancelot and weird Arthur hate and it's like...there were literally a hundred better characters in that show than the weeping monk/lancelot

[justaz]

i've had this au idea for a while and have tried writing it but i don't get far into it before abandoning it so ill post it in case someone else wants to write it or take some inspiration from it or what have you. s4ep1/2 au.

merlin uses his magic to just latch arthur's feet to the ground as well as lancelot's when he sees him creeping towards the veil. merlin turns to face them as he walks backwards, revealing his gold eyes and magic to arthur which barely registers in his mind as he understands what merlin's doing and Panics. he's yelling and almost begging and demanding merlin to get back here you idiot. i'm the king you listen to me

and merlin just smiles and is like when have i ever listened to you? and steps into the veil, sacrificing himself and closing it. with his death, his magic releases arthur and lancelot who are just like. what the fuck. and grief-stricken. and angry. anyways they go back to camelot and lancelot stays with gwen and they mourn together. gwaine is. a wreck. the knights are all grieving. arthur is just. gone. like. he closes himself in his chambers for like two weeks. he doesn't sleep, he doesn't eat, he can barely function. anyways merlin watches him from the veil as a spirit, he watches all of them and is a little guilty about causing them so much grief and heart ache but he rather them be sad and alive than dead so he doesn't regret it that much

magic lore i made up - since merlin gave his life in an exchange, he gets to remain conscious and aware within the veil. the other spirits that roam around are focused on whatever's keeping them there (and keeping them from moving on to the afterlife). there's a lot of sorcerers in camelot who are angry and crying because they were executed by uther - their heads cut off, their bodies charred, or their necks bent at odd angles. they wander around calling for justice. anyways ygraine's life was also taken in an exchange so what i'm saying is ygraine and merlin best friends arc.

they both watch over arthur with worry and then one day arthur just storms out of his chambers and down to the library and buries himself in books, searching desperately for a way to bring merlin back. with how little he's eating and sleeping, arthur ends up passing out and has a nightmare. merlin reaches out on instinct wishing to comfort him and ends up getting pulled into his dreams, only with his intention being to comfort, his arrival shifts the dream from a nightmare into something a lot more pleasant - merlin and arthur together and alive and...courting? it looks like? arthur leans in to kiss him but the dream dissipates right before their lips meet.

anyways, that happens a few times with a few different dreams as arthur searches for a way to open the veil again and bring merlin back. i have two different endings for this though. one is, since merlin is emrys and immortal, after some time the cailleach comes back and is like "immortal asshole. i took some of your eternal life force but you're still immortal but the veil is still sealed. i can't keep someone who still has all this life. get out." and just pushes him out of the veil and into his body again. OR arthur finds a way to bargain with the cailleach and sees his mother with merlin and bada bing bada boom (i forgot to add that arthur at some point finds out about his uncles treachery lmao) trades agravaine's life for ygraine's and then his father's (he can't stand to see his father wasting away and sees this peaceful death as mercy) for merlin's. and he gets his mom and bf best friend manservant back.

after everything settles down, arthur finally has time to focus on merlin's magic but with the trauma of almost losing him, he finds he really can't care about it and just repeals the ban to keep from even thinking about executing him so merlin will never be in danger again. ygraine is also happy about this bc i hc she had a little bit of magic. she learned from her gf nimueh. bonus hc bc i feel like it - ygraine and uther were married and loved each other, yes, but ygraine took nimueh as her consort and uther took balinor as his consort.

okay thats all. if anyone actually writes this or anything similar to it, it'd love to read it. pls tag me or dm me <3

[someguyinc]

yknow a take on morgana pendragon's story i see often is that if merlin had told morgana about his magic in that moment where they were in his chambers alone that she wouldn't have turned to become evil,, i disagree,, i think that morgana as a character would have eventually turned to become evil and bitter even with merlin as a mentor if she'd learned his secret early in season 2.

let's not forget merlin himself is NOT the most stable of mentor options (not that gaius or kilgahrah or ANY of the druids were a great help either) but he didn't know what the fuck he was doing,, just trying his best consulting that outdated spell book and had cryptic messages from a conniving dragon who MIND YOU still wanted morgana dead and was manipulating merlin the whole time and gaius was a traitor to most magic people like,, he literally was pro-gaslight morgana

merlin also loved arthur, however you view that love (romantic, platonic, brotherly, whatever) merlin loved arthur more than he did magic. we see this multiple times with merlin choosing what kept arthur safe and happy over him doing what would be best for the old religion (fuck them too but that's another post),, major example being the episode with the disir where he straight up tells him there is no place for magic in camelot (which is crazy considering he IS magic made flesh but anyways)

morgana HATED. uther, she hated everything about him and for awhile she disgusted that hate as righteous fury, raining down terror and pain onto innocents (even other magic users) and justifying it as payback. she hated arthur as an extension of uther because that's what uther raised them both as (again another post for another time) and tried to kill him without even asking what his stance was on magic (i believe arthur would have immediately done some introspection and realized he was wrong but thats imo)

i think that eventually,, their two stances would have come to blows (merlin's love for arthur above his magic/morgana's hatred for uther above all else) and morgana would still go to immeasurable heights to murder uther once more, merlin would have stopped her (or tried) because he knew the pain it would cause arthur even if he hated uther too, and morgana would've hated merlin for getting in her way,, her anger triumphing her love for arthur (see: s1ep12: to kill the king)

i feel like often times i just see morgana painted as someone who just needed a little love and light,, when in reality she's been heavily abused and pit against arthur since she was like 10/11 (however old she came to Camelot) and is now a grown woman who is realizing she hates her abuser and everything he's done and wants to destroy him and everything he loves !!

likewise merlin was manipulated and gaslit and forced to become a compulsive liar and would've NOT !! been good for morgana and eventually everything would've gone to shit !!

they are worsties for better or much much worse

[gd-dollopole]

Could have destiny, and therefore Arthur’s death, really be avoided in Merlin? Or were things supposed to flow like that either way?

The first thought that struck me, as soon as the last episode ended, was the usual “what if?” that keeps this fandom alive, alongside the plethora of theories (that I like looking into and discuss) questions, answers and headcanons.

But no matter how many times I think about it, I personally believe that the answer to the question in the title is simply:

No.

It couldn’t.

The directors, no matter how many choices they made, that we could either think are wrong or not, had also made a wonderful job of deceiving us, but not really, and ending the show with a tragedy and a good fucking plot.

What is the plot, you may ask?

“You don’t choose destiny, destiny chooses you”,

and I think it’s brilliant.

First thing first, destiny:

The directors said: “Fuck it.” They tried everything they could do so that Merlin, at the end of the day, had only one choice. It is really an hard point to make, especially because we like to think that if Merlin had done something differently, things could have actually took another road, and yes, it could have, but it didn’t happen, because we needed an enemy in the show, and it was made on purpose. I like to think that the directors knew it would piss people off. It did. Great job, you guys, I still think about it after fifteen years.

Second thing, who’s the bad guy? (Uther)

What I mean by this, is that I’m asking this question to the main characters who the directors wanted us to believe they were objectively good, right, like Merlin, or Gaius, and even Arthur. How about, no one of them had to be completely good? It hurts less if the characters I just cited acted differently, like we oftentimes say of Merlin, but it’s fiction, and we wouldn’t have Tumblr to discuss it on, if they were all perfect, so why not give them some very bad flows? *cough* All the better if they’re murderers *cough*. Now, if it were reality, I too would have said: “Go to hell”, but it’s BBC Merlin, so let me have some fun.

Morgana is bad, Merlin could be too, Arthur even, also Gwen, Lancelot too, and all the wicked team we’ve got. Oh, especially the toilet they had instead of a king, the one and only Uther Pendragon. I even said that Gaius is bad, and offended Hunith of all people, so let’s get to my point. Merlin could have done things differently? Yes. But Morgana, too. Hell, also Arthur. The point of the TV show is the very, very bad choice Uther made of being a tyrant, so. Merlin could have told Morgana he had magic? Yep, but sometimes I believe Morgana had to be evil, so even if she could have become like that in another way, she made her own choice. She knew Merlin was a good person, who didn’t dislike her because of the magic, and still threatened him throughout all season three, causing chaos and death because she craved power and she was in a privileged position where she could do all these things. We like to blame Merlin and Gaius for how she turned out, but what about Gwen? Poor woman didn’t do anything, as much as breathing too hard near her mistress, and Morgana wanted her dead because she hated the idea that a woman like Gwen, who even if amazing and with so many skills, was just a peasant, and could get on her throne. Morgana made the choice to hate Gwen. Morgana made the choice to try and kill Arthur to take her throne, even when Arthur had no idea of what was happening. Heavy on her throne, because who said it was? By age, status, whatever, Uther appointed Arthur as the heir, and there is no changing that. (so, bad Morgana. See? She had to be, like, it was the director’s job)

“Merlin poisoned her.” He did, and isn’t that magnificent? We can see how it destroys both of them in their own ways. Why did they have to be good characters? Imagine how boring the show would have been, and now I wouldn’t be making a post about it at ten in the evening. Morgana chose Morgause. There is no discussing that. As soon as she saw she could take Arthur’s throne, she started doing the evil smirk every two seconds, accuse Gwen of being a sorceress (shouldn’t she side with her own kind?), killing guards wherever she went, sneaking out with the clip, clap of her boots to make bad things, uh uh, in the woods, uh uh.

Third thing, Merlin tried, poor guy:

No, he is not perfect either, and I love it. He is a man who got appointed with this great job to do the right thing since he was a boy, and what did the lad do? Many wrong things, LMAO. And still, in his perspective, they were right. And we agree on most of them, don’t we? Everything because we’ve got his point of view. It was right for Merlin to try and kill a child, because of a prophecy; it was right to lie to Morgana, because she was upstanding, and he was just a peasant; it was right to free a dragon, and he was simply right on this one (yes, to me, there is no discussing this. I would have freed The Great Dragon too, and I cannot blame him for what he did after); it was right to poison Morgana; it was right for Merlin to follow Arthur everywhere and believe he was a good man despite everything, because the idiots loved one another more than they could hate the system they had been put in (spoiler alert, Arthur too has so many flows). Why listing all these things he thought were right? Because they were right to him, because we know his life, how much he had hurt, and how much death not only he saw, but also inflicted. And Morgana killed so many people too. She, multiple times, committed treason, and Merlin had enough information to know that she agreed to make Camelot sleep. Thinking only of saving Arthur and innocent people, he did what he thought was best (this is the same man who had already saved Morgana after he had already tried to kill her, because he tried with all his might not to be a killer, like he had said to the dragon long before), and poisoned her. Could there be an excuse for Mordred? I believe not, but Merlin believed there was, and that’s enough for him, for the audience, and that’s what makes him such a complicated and beautiful character. Merlin did help Morgana, even if he lied to her, and what if he didn’t? He could have got into so much more trouble, Gaius would have reproached him, Merlin believed neither Arthur or Camelot were ready to accept magic, or him, and Morgana, once finding out about the fact that he was Uther’s daughter, she would have probably still acted the same, because we later see that she didn’t want magic to not be outlawed anymore, but to simply, ehm, kill Arthur and everyone who got in her way.

Fourth thing, the other characters can be bad too:

Even if enchanted, Gwen did betray Arthur. (she is such a good character, and very kind, but I like when even the best ones do something bad). We know she is not guilty, but nobody knew, not even Merlin and Gaius, because they never found out she had been enchanted. And when she was evil, there are still consequences to the deaths she caused. Lancelot, even if a good man, and a good friend to Merlin, left before Gwen could decided if she wanted a relationship with him. Gwaine, who we love and adore, him too a complex character, didn’t think about it twice in kicking Merlin in the dungeons when Gwen, evil and enchanted, had accused him of treason. (yes, she is the queen, but Gwaine doesn’t seem the kind of character who would that, or maybe yes?) What about “you’re the only friend I have” and all that? Arthur still made prejudiced choices even when crowned king, and Merlin supported him, and we know why. Even bloody Sefa, manipulated by her father, decided to commit treason.

My point is, who wouldn’t have loved if things went differently, but at the same time, a TV show that is so perfect, with characters who cannot make a single bad thing, would have been still this enjoyable? Hell, that is the point of fiction, that is the point of writing, of directing. Even when we look at bad choices in a TV series, we try to understand why those things happened, why character A betrayed character B and the dominoes effect their relationship brought.

That’s what makes the TV show better. You can build things off bad things. You can make good fanfictions about what could have gone different. You can make theories debating whatever these choices were simply poorly made by the directors or made on purpose. You can discuss all day the relationships between the characters because they’re flowed, and sometimes even toxic.

That is the best part.

This is not to say that we cannot blame a character’s arc for something that happened, or try to redeem another character, instead, but it’s also good to be able to judge and point and write about it.

Even in this post I made points that I believe should be objective (siding with the oppressor, being an oppressor, not blaming a caged dragon for revenge, ecc.) and yet I still like the characters because I can blame them and talk about them exactly because they’re bad.

Moral of the story. A good story always has an antagonist. We shouldn’t delete that.

(and fuck you, Uther Pendragon)

See? Beautiful.

[versegm]

What the fuck is up with Mashmorgan

Someone on neocities asked me to explain the appeal of Mashmorgan in a single concise post. Well I did it lads you've got your single post. It's also 1500 words long but that's not my problem. A lot of it is stuff I've already said in scattered posts/fics, so if you follow me this will not be any news for you, but if you ever need to redirect someone to an explanation of this ship you can direct them to this post. Also fair warning this will be incomprehensible without knowledge of lb6. This is by design.

Anyways. Enjoy.

The most basic shit about Mashmorgan is: Mash and Morgan spent a long time together. So long that Mash starts considering herself a part of the Fairy Calendar over the Queen's calendar (see: Totrot having to remind her "you're not the only one who remained, you're the one who is going home! You were never meant to be here in the first place.") Furthermore, Mash and Tonelico didn't just hang out. They were good fucking friends! Tonelico trusted Mash enough to tell her that Tonelico is, in fact, a ball of rage and ressentment wrapped in a savior skin (which is a big deal considering Tonelico lies to Fucking Everyone about her true feelings on things.) It's important to note that the ONLY time Morgan ever smiles during the entire lostbelt is with Mash ("Sure! We did our best, didn't we?" while sending Mash home.)

Speaking of, the fact that Tonelico sent Mash back in the present at all is very telling of Tonelico's feelings for Mash. The excuse she gives Totrot is "well I wanna recruit Mash later," but that's very obviously bull; Tonelico's last conversation with Mash makes it very clear that Tonelico expects them to be enemies later on. Besides, how can you recruit someone you know for a fact you won't remember? Morgan has zero reasons to send Mash back to her own time. She knows she's shooting herself in the foot by doing that. She KNOWS that Mash will turn out to be an enemy. But she's sending Mash back anyways. Because it's the right thing to do? Because it wouldn't be fair otherwise, and Morgan values fairness above all? Because Tonelico failed to save Uther, but she could still help one friend on this bitch of an earth? You tell me.

Now that's our basis to read Mash and Tonelico as exes, or people who pined for one another, or just very close besties, whatever you want. Which means we've now a wonderfully tragic romance (or friendship if that's your thing, but I feel like romance makes it tasties) of two people who do love each other but cannot stand by the same side because of widely differing ideals. Adding to that the dramatic irony of Mash and Morgan never knowing each other at the same time- Tonelico knows who Mash is, Mash doesn't know who Tonelico is. Mash knows who Morgan is, Morgan doesn't know who Mash is.

Mash still holds Tonelico's memory close to her heart- Tonelico (the summonable one) has a line mentioning that though she has no idea who Mash is, Mash keeps looking at her with sadness. Furthermore, while Morgan changed a lot from her Tonelico days, Mash still knows the woman pretty well- when asked if she's willing to fight, she responds "well yeah I know the gal she won't give up without a fight."

Obviously, Morgan doesn't remember Mash. But she still holds the knight in high regards; in the Fairy Cup event, she mentions that "oh lol you guys had Mash with you no wonder you guys turned out fine." Additionally, when you barge in her throne room early lb6.2 to ask her about Mash, Morgan does not remember that name, but she does react to the description of Fairy Knight Galahad. She doesn't remember Mash, but even without her memories something still echoes in her about it.

So that's all our canon basis to go wild. What are the roads we can explore with this ship then?

For Tonelico/Mash, there is obviously a "doomed romance" angle. Whether they're lovers who can't go anywhere, or people pining unwilling to start something at all, the fact is: this romance is doomed, and they both know it. They're from different worlds and times. Mash going home implies Tonelico's failure. This love cannot change anything, but it mattered that it was here.

For Mash/Morgan in lb6, there's the "lovers to enemies" angle. As I said before, they're clearly both still fond of each other on some level. But that's not enough. They both stand on either side of that war, because they each want to protect different things. The agony! The pain! Delicious. Of course, the most tragic part of this is that Mash didn't even get to kill Morgan herself. All of this, and they never got the catharsis of battle at the end. (I should add that I'm a firm believer of the inherent eroticism of homicide.)

Less obvious, but an aspect of their dynamic that I find really interesting is that... Mash is someone who is constantly asked by various nonhuman people for understanding. Goetia, the Lion King, Beryl, all asked Mash to understand their pov and goals. Because Mash, as a homunculus, fundamentally stands at the edge between human and nonhuman. She's legitimately these people's best shot at being understood. But through this pattern, Morgan is noticeably the one person who never asks for understanding. She explains herself, but that's it. What she does ask of Mash, however, is to find a good reason to fight Morgan. Cuz Tonelico just endured 3000 years of the most senseless and brutal violence- she’s just fresh out witnessing her attempt to save Britain being destroyed on a whim. The only thing Tonelico asks is for their fight to actually have meaning for once. Don’t face me just because I’m mildly inconvenient to you. Face me because you are striving for your own star. That, I will respect, and should you succeed in defeating me- I will be fine with that. (Also because Morgan long gave up on being understood, so she's not even trying with Mash, which is why I think it fucks that despite Morgan being a fucking brick wall, Mash still manages to know this girl better than most.)

Post-lb6, on Mash's side, this ship is a case of "this girl I used to love changed a fuckton, but also She's Still Here." On Morgan's side it's "I do not know who you are, but my body does remember you and it's fucking weird." And both these things are haunted by the ghost of "Oh christ we fucking killed each other. We can never go back to who we used to be. How do we build a new relationship after All This Shit? What if she forgives me? What if she doesn't?"

Additionally. Morgan is someone who fundamentally believes herself to be evil. That's why she's always like "ohh I'm a wretched witch I do this because I'm selfish teehee." It's a Sakura behavior, she's rationalizing the bad shit happening to her as "well I was evil anyways so I deserve it." Veering into headcanon territory now, but I think Morgan would see Mash as her total opposite, someone who embodies the good in this world- she's fucking fairy knight Galahad, the purest of the round table. So it's also cool to explore Morgan thinking she's unlovable struggling to understand why Mash would be interested in her. Possibly worried about corrupting Mash too, historically things have never turned out well for people close to Morgan.

Ok this is all my thoughts that have actual canon ground. Now back to making shit up. I think Mash should get to be fucking deranged about Morgan. Mash has lost MANY people since the beginning of the story, but that trauma is shared with Guda. Morgan's however is her trauma and hers alone she ain't got no one to relate. I think it would be a great way to showcase her character development, from someone who struggled to understand Mozart's "yeah humans suck but that's why I love them!" to someone who can be incredibly Not Fucking Normal in her grief. AND that means you get neat Beryl parallels as well. Mash sees her own behavior as something reminiscent of Beryl's, and feeling SO bad about it, but what is she supposed to do? She's lost so much so fucking much can't she just have something to hold onto for once? Something more tangible than a memory? Anyways I think Mash should get to mishandle Morgan's corpse SO fucking bad.

Anyways. Say whatever about lb6, but Morgan did successfully save one thing in Fairy Britain. She did successfully save Fairy Knight Galahad.

[multifandombullshitbabes]

Random Merlin Rewatch: Where a random number generator gives me a season and an episode from BBC Merlin; and then I comment on it as I go.

Today's episode: Season 1 Episode 5 - Lancelot

Before I start, I have to comment that it's quite the fucking coincidence that, even though I'm randomizing the seasons and episodes separately, I've landed an episode right before out last edition of these Random Merlin Rewatch posts. Maybe these generators just really like the early seasons BBC Merlin. Can't blame 'em.

Can't wait to see my boy Lancelot again.

Those mushrooms Merlin is picking look fucking delicious, damn.

Can you imagine you're just chilling, picking mushrooms, and then you look up and there's a huge ass 4 legged bird looking creature just straight up coming straight at you? Jesus fuck. Merlin, my son, you CANNOT catch a break, it's almost impressive.

LANCELOT SCREAMING LMAO

Colin sometimes made the funniest of faces. Merlin looked about to literally shit himself and it made me crack up.

It truly is actually so sweet and brave for Lancelot to just. Do that. Like he just wanted to save Merlin, no questions, no nothing, he's just a good man.

MUSICCCCCCC LET'S GOOOOO

What a horrifying thought that a creature that can fly and takes human might just. Come by where you live. And you just gotta be prepared. Fucking Christ that's scary.

Merlin looks so gorgeous with the light just shining on him like that. Long pretty eyelashes, bright blue eyes, red lips. Motherfucker looks fuckable I can tell you that much.

"The great Arthur" what an interesting thing for Merlin to say, to refer to Arthur like that. Is that what he hears about Arthur? Especially when it comes to his fighting?? That's so funny. Wonder how Arthur feels about that; pride or need to meet up to expectations. Knowing him, probably both.

Gotta say, I love the fashion sense of this random lady here. Simply gorgeous.

Jesus he's so dramatic.

What the fuck is this man doing, just flinging both of his swords around, what the fuck.

Merlin just immediately resorting to lying. Why does he think that resolves everything when it literally never does??

Merlin shaking his head and Lancelot's just. immediate disappointment is so funny to me for some reason. He's just "Yeah, I figured, fuck me, oh well, might as well kill myself-"

LANCELOT IS SO DORKY I LOVE HIM!!!!

Did Uther just straight up create Camelot? I think he did. The first code came because of Uther wanting knights that he could trust, those who had allegiance with him, the nobility. And that's where the first code came from. Uther straight up created Camelot? From scratch? I always assumed he'd inherit from his father, but honestly, the fact that he made Camelot as great as she is by himself makes sense: that's why he never wants it to change unless it's by his own accord, not only because he's King, but because this kingdom is purely his.

Love Lancelot's little leather bracelets: a big thick one on his right arm, and a bunch of thin ones on his left. It's really cute how humans just like to make themselves look prettier or cooler or whatever with anything they've got.

"My father, my mother" implying Lancelot's an only child, since he doesn't mention any siblings dying at the raid.

Love how attached Merlin becomes of Lancelot. I think it's because Merlin can just see, plainly, that Lancelot is a good man. No hidden bullshit about, he's a good person. He knows Lancelot would make an amazing knight, probably better than the assholes he suffers while following Arthur around. That's why he fights so hard to give him what he deserves.

"Homework." yeah, 'cause your famously enrolled in a school, aren't you Merlin?

Merlin literally cannot be fucking subtle to save his life. Everybody just knows he's up in some shenanigan or other.

It's the way that Merlin is doing this almost with the intent of them finding Lancelot out, but much later on, when he's already proven worthy of his role, etc etc. However, Lancelot is right, you can't lie like that and then be a knight, so he knows that if he's found out, they'll kick him out. You have Merlin who knows the rules have to change, not just for his friend but just in general 'cause it's unfair, and then you have Lancelot that knows that it's not a good idea, and they'll be found out, but damn it it's literally what he's been working towards his whole life and, really, Merlin isn't wrong, is he? So even though he knows it won't end well, he'd rather take this little bit than nothing at all.

OUGH GWEN'S HANDS JUST SOOOO CLOSE TO LANCELOT'S BITS MY BOY IS FLUSTERED AS FUCK

I'm not gonna lie, I would've died if I saw Gwen smiling at me on her knees. Jesus Christ, I feel flustered.

AHHHHHH THEY'RE FLIRTINGGGGGG

They're crushing HARD BRO.

"Best seamstress in Camelot." I don't even care if that's just Merlin exaggerating, this is now part of Gwen's character to me.

Lancelot is so awkward and dorky and then he has his smooth moments but it's just because he says what he means, he doesn't even know he's being smooth, please I love him.

AHAHAHAHAHAH ARTHUR SMACKING LANCELOT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS

The little sound Lancelot makes when he comes back from the stables. I'm fucking dead. That's me.

"And the truth before I lose my temper?" underrated Gaius line.

Arthur looks so slutty with that red shirt and red pendant combo.

We don't talk enough about how good the fight choreography can be in BBC Merlin. It looks so REAL, I don't know how else to describe it.

Jesus, Lancelot aimed to kill. Without a helmet, half of Arthur's head would've been cut off. Damn.

Arthur is so dramaticcccccccc

"You set him on a path of your choosing." This is so interesting. Mainly because, the point of saying that, Gaius means that Merlin played God and that he can't change destiny, he can't change everything. Well..... doesn't Kilgarrah literally tell Merlin the exact opposite? In the sense that he always tells Merlin that he's the one who needs to choose the outcome of others, like whether they live or die, which is literally playing God. Doesn't he expect Merlin to shape his own destiny but also the destiny of Arthur and of others, something that never works out and cannot be changed? Yet he always made it seem like he could change the outcome? I'm saying this just with a pit in my stomach that, unknowingly or not, Kilgarrah set Merlin up for a failed task, in the sense that, in him trying to play God and force everybody's destinies, he doomed them all. And I just don't know if Kilgarrah didn't think about that or just didn't care and just placed his bets. He put it all on Merlin, and it ruined everything. Kilgarrah really is the one who killed Arthur, not Mordred, not Morgana, not Merlin. I hope I worded this well.

Interesting that Morgana is wearing the same dress as the first episode, but also a high ponytail, which I can't remember any other time she did.

Oh jesus, it's so weird that Morgana and Arthur are looking at each other like that. I do get it, the king's ward I think would have the expectation of marrying the prince, but it's just sick that Uther just let that grow, knowing what he knows. People would talk about them two. He's hear them. And he'd just what, say "Perhaps they will marry."? Ew, bro.

Not Gwen just heavily hinting that her type is Merlin. But also, are you about that? Considering: Arthur? 'Cause girl, you love that man. (and also Morgana, but it's not canon or whateverrr). Anyways, Gwen's type is: heart of gold. Now, is that heart obscured by anything? Like some defensive and prickly walls? Maybe. But it's still there.

Merlin and Gwen having girl talkkkkkkkkkk

Merlin and Lancelot at the VERY VERY least cuddled on that tiny little bed, didn't they? (they snogged too, but shhhh)

Well, that was short lived.

Lancelot is stronger than me, I would've started sobbing. Not even to get away for the crime, I'd just be so embarrassed and distraught, bro.

Oh, the fact that Arthur called Uther "Sire", ohhhh he wants to get on his good graces so bad to maybe save Lancelot.

"How can you trust a man who's lied to you?" by understanding any layers of his decision. By understanding why he did it. And only then can you make a true and complete judgement of his lie.

Lancelot is just. A good person. To a fault, I imagine, I personally think he's not truly always present, like in the moment, always either thinking of the past or future or just living day by day, unaware of really anything. It makes him a bit idealistic, but also quick to be realistic/pessimistic once he's brought back down to earth. He hasn't had a home since childhood so he never feels like he belongs anywhere. It's why it's so easy for him to leave. And while he never expects anything from anyone, he craves it so much; but once he receives it, he'll take any indication he doesn't deserve it and accept without question and just move on to the next. He doesn't think he's worth fighting for, so he doesn't advocate for himself. But he'll always advocate for others, if he has them. It's what he would want other's to do for him.

The fact that things only recorded in myth or legend are just. Walking about. Chilling.

I wonder how Bradley trained for the "ON ME!" screams he does. They're immaculate, but I bet training for it must be so fucking goofy.

It's a stunning creature, though, ngl.

It's the way that Arthur is, canonically, only 20 years old right now. He turns 21 in ep 9. He's literally my age. Jesus fucking Christ.

Well finally the guards are good for something.

One thing I'll always appreciate about Bradley's acting? He WILL look like he's exerting himself. His cheeks will be puffed out, he is inhaling and exhaling, he is pursing his lips in concentration, he is doing the WORK.

Uther is so fucking stubborn. How terrifying it must be for Arthur to know that in an hour or two, him and his knights are marching to what is, most likely, their deaths? He KNOWS they're weapons are useless. And yet he can't defy his king, his father. How fucking scary it must be to be the prince and to just have to maybe die for your father, the king? What the fuck??

Oh the things Gaius says about Merlin :((( they care about each other so much.

Oh yes, Arthur, we know YOU need Lancelot, you've looked down at his exposed hair chest twice now.

What a homoerotic charged scene. They need to bang at least once. Don't know if it would resolve anything, but at least it'd get them off.

Gaius trying to be so supportive, ough.

Gwen's father is still alive, do they not live together? Lancelot just barged in and there's no Tom in sight. Does he sleep at the forge? Actually. He just might.

Oh the music is GORGEOUS, hello???

Love how Gwen went straight to Merlin, she knows he'll do something about it. She doesn't know what to do, but she knows Merlin will at least try something. I feel like it's moments like these where it shows thar Gwen just always knew that somehow Merlin would solve things, and where she starts to suspect Merlin is truly very special. Maybe not "he has magic", not right away, but that there's just something about him.

Lancelot literally looks like the coolest knight ever bro. Most knight knight to ever knight.

Props to Lancelot for not freaking the fuck out when his lance just starts fucking glowing out of nowhere. I guess he's busy looking eye to eye with the griffin.

OUGHHH THE BOYS ARE SO CUTE, THEY'RE SO HAPPY IT ALL WORKED OUT!!! LOOK AT MERLIN GEEKING OUT I LOVE IT!! AND LANCELOT JUST LOOKS SO STARSTRUCK

AHHHHH ARTHUR JUST SO EXCITED FOR LANCELOT!!! The way he said his name so softly, ough...... He's not gonna stop thinking about Lancelot for a LONG time, huh.

Oh, I love when the episode has so many happy moments like these :))) tugs at my heartstrings in the best way.

"I see you feel strongly about this Arthur." I just know Uther knows about Arthur's bisexuality bro, ain't no way.

It's the way that Merlin and Arthur just. share so many views in common. Makes me bonkers. I wonder how many amazing discussion they could've had if they ever felt truly comfortable in talking about such sensitive topics, and with Merlin hiding so much of who he is.

Uther watching Lancelot leave knowing he's literally all a knight is supposed to be. But then, it's not as easy to command them when they have such set morals. He knows Lancelot stands for what is right and THAT is a problem: he needs knights that stand for Uther, not for what is right. But he can recognize that Lancelot is a worthy man of it.

Also Arthur's heartbroken face. Yeah, Lancelot is gonna live rent free in his mind for a while. He'll never admit it though. Duh.

Oh Morgana speaks to Gwen so softly. The way she says her name??? Jesus fuck.

It's the way that they let him have a Pendragon red cloak at also armor? Hello???? That's a full knight riding out of Camelot bro. Now I'm thinking of the hilarious concept that Gwen was looking at the wrong guy-

Not Morgana doing an Arthur when she gets jealous: make Gwen take her mind off of things with work. She says it much kinder because that's just what Gwen deserves, but it's the same technique. Don't think about that other person, go do something for me instead.

And done!!! Fuck yeah brother

[xjulixred45x]

I was working on the requests but I remembered a conversation I had with my sister the other day about an interesting topic,

How Nakaba WASTED THE GOLDEN OPORTUNITY of using Morgana Le Fay as the VILLAIN of 4kota(Even if it's cliché)

and it could have been implemented much earlier!! After all, in the Arthurian legends, Morgana is Arthur's half-sister, she could have participated in NNT as an ally who little by little went to the dark side (like Cassandra from Tangled but without a happy ending).

Imagine this, Morgana was just born to Uther Pendragon, having a great ability for magic, but he decided that she could not inherit his throne for x or y reason (being a woman, some profession, being a daughter out of wedlock) and sent her away to Avalon, where She lives her entire life away from her father's influence, but with great resentment towards him for having pushed her away (maybe even killing her mother too?) so she hones her magic with the fairies and wizards of Avalon.

So time passes and Morgana becomes a very strong magician, but she learns from others that her younger half-brother, Arthur, has just pulled the sword from the stone, and that he will be crowned king of Camelot.

NOW, Morgana would like to believe that her hatred is only reserved for Uther, so she goes to Camelot as soon as possible and the whole way she doesn't stop thinking about all this: how long has it been since she went to Camelot? What is her younger brother like? Is he like his-their- father? Although in general I think that Morgana did not want Arthur to be alone running the kingdom, whatever it was, he was her brother after all.

I think Arthur wouldn't even know he had a sister until shortly before Morgana arrived, like "oh by the way, your sister is coming to visit, your half-sister from the king" and Arthur would obviously be nervous about Morgana rejecting him but VERY EXCITED once he hears that she is a powerful mage.

And when do they meet? It's like putting a black cat with an orange cat, but surprisingly they would get along, at first.

Arthur would take Morgana as an advisory figure as she was more in contact with the political environment and helped him adapt to the royal environment, they shared tricks for fights, etc. Everything seems to be going smoothly, they both get along well.

Arthur has a STABLE and loving figure who is willing to teach him and be a family figure at the same time. and Morgana has someone who listens to her and makes her feel important.

but during the series the problems begin.

As the series progresses and Arthur becomes stronger and more mature, Morgana feels that the hatred she had towards Uther is no longer enough, as she begins to doubt whether or not she should love Arthur as HE is her replacement for a "proper heir", yes, she knows that's fucked up to think like that, but on the other hand, is it really wrong if it's your birthright?

and Morgana may have had these moments of weakness where she questioned her recently found platonic love for Arthur and her former bitterness with the Pendragons, having her ups and downs.

She loves Arthur, but she's also very recent about what her father did, and she's trying SO hard not to let it affect him.

But that's not the only thing that pushes her to the limit.

Let's say when the holy war begins, Morgana has a thousand and one doubts about her place in the world and then Arthur DIES.

and what's worse! When he revives, she realizes what Merlin wants to do with him.

(It would be especially horrible if Morgana and Merlin end up having a relationship as friends or as a pupil and teacher themselves).

Morgana pleads, BEGGS, Arthur not to trust what Merlin tells him, that what she wants him to do will not be for the greater good, but for her own benefit and Arthur is confused.

On one hand he wants to believe that after everything he's been through with Morgana she wouldn't lie to him, but Merlin is the closest thing he has to a mother...and the baby is very confused about what to do.

and here two possible endings and how Morgana reappeared in 4Kota:

1- STICKED TO THE CANON:

Arthur ends up bringing chaos, realizing that Morgana was telling the truth, Camelot is destroyed (maybe even Avalon too?) and that makes Morgana lose faith in wanting to help Arthur and the deadly sins, since THEY were the ones who brought that destruction to HIS HOME, and decides to do what has to be done.

which means that a plot begins against the Monarchies, especially against Liones and the Demonic kingdom, seeing them as the main causes of the destruction of Camelot (Meliodas and Zeldris), at the same time that he would try by all means to usurp Arthur's throne. . Even if he tries to make her reconsider.

(good alternative, Sunshine Arthur with wife Guinevere but that has some congruence in the canonical story, but I have a better one:)

2: FUCK THE CANON

Morgana applies a Cassandra from Tangled and obtains chaos instead of Arthur, becoming an antagonist who, although she helps defeat the demon king and so on, at the end of the conflict becomes a full-fledged villain.

having been devalued and pushed aside her entire life NOW even by her brother, and finally having the power to have what rightfully belongs to her makes Morgana very power-hungry. At the same time, Arthur would be having a lot of regret for not having believed his sister at the time and wants to redeem her, but it is difficult when Morgana begins her sale to all those who do not follow her to her "new Camelot."

Arthur here would not have Chaos but he would have Escalibur, which would be his advantage against Morgana in a certain way. although she is working on a "bastard sword" to change that.

Arthur is still a cinnamon roll, only with trauma and above all WITHOUT THE CHAOS, so he thinks things through better and is not corrupted.

Morgana, on the other hand, suffers a great mental decline due to Chaos, but she disguises it under the face of a smiling Queen.

Can you imagine if she created a Mordred from Chaos? ☠️ she says he is her son but trains him so that he can face Arthur and win the crown for her (because Morgana knows she couldn't handle all the allies Arthur has in this reality).

or she just wants to make Mordred do her dirty work because deep down she still loves his little brother...

(it would be especially creepy if said Mordred is similar in appearance to both her and Arthur ☠️ as if she wants a child, but also a version of Arthur that if he had listened to her and joined her...)

anyway...what do you think?

regardless of that, FUCK YOU NAKABAAAAAA!!

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

tiptoeing my way into your ask box: should merlin have revealed his magic in the sins of the father episode

THE WAY I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THIS ASK😭😭😭😭 mbbb but im here now!!! so hi:))

ok so this is the second ask youve sent me that ive literally never thought of once in my life so prepare youself for a brainDUMP

my answer is completely and irrevocably: yes. i can't imagine myself having another opinion on it, because i think you found the only episode in the entire series where a magic reveal would have been a natural and understandable choice, by both the writers and the characters (except for of course the last episode, but i have many feelings on the execution of the actual magic reveal, of which are for another ask lol).

but because im an unnecessary bitch, i'm going to answer this question twice with the same answer (why? because im a nuisance to everyone around me, thats why) by interpreting the question differently. the first interpretation? should merlin have revealed his magic in the sins of the father, as in should MERLIN have revealed his magic. was that the right decision for him to make in this episode? would that have ended in the best outcome? would that have improved the situation? just morally, was that the right choice to make?

i thought about it, and at first i was torn, because arthur was a wreck at this point. he felt angry, betrayed, devastated, and rightfully so. is this really the best time for his best friend of probably over a year, by this point, to admit to him that he was born with magic? and while this definitely would have been a tricky time to do it, i think this is the only episode in which arthur shows completely empathy and compassion towards magic. for once in this series, he doesn't blame magic for all the wrongs in the world, or even reservedly believe that magic may not be a thing to persecute for but can certainly never be trusted—he is fully open to magic and believes that every negative thing he ever knew of it, all stemming from his father, is completely wrong. obviously, this is because he took his hatred for magic and swapped it with his respect for his father due to the switched roles they had in his life (magic: the deceiver, the killer, the villian; uther: the protector, the victim, the hero; but yk, swapped in this episode) but that doesn't make his open mind to magic (IN THIS EPISODE!!) any less real.

so, ik that was a lot lol, but if merlin had told arthur about his magic at this point, i think itd be one of the only times when that revelation would cause arthur to feel angry and betrayed not really because of the magic, but because merlin hadn't told him. and i'm sorry, at any other point in the series, imo, that wouldn't be true. the deception itself may be the root of the hurt, but the magic would just be salt in the wound.

and!! not even to mention the fact that arthur was going to kill uther. instead of lying to him, merlin should have admitted that he has magic, told him not to kill him, explained whatever information he knew (yk, about nimueh or literally anything because he definitely knew more than arthur did, atp). would arthur have felt the betrayal twofold? of course, but i do think that this would have hit him hard enough to stop on his rampage to kill uther. it definitely would have been difficult to get him to STOP long enough to tell him lol, but i think merlin could have done it. all in all, it definitely would have been difficult to execute, but i think overall it would have been the right choice for all the right reasons.

now, onto the second interpretation of the question: should merlin have revealed his magic in the sins of the father, as in the WRITERS should have revealed his magic. and that answer is a resounding fucking YES!!!! im so so sorry, but merlin and arthur's relationship was ridiculous. i can (and will with the slightest prompting) go into an insane amount of depth and detail into why i hate their relationship development despite being obsessed with their dynamic (most of the time) and why i think as the MAIN DUO OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING SHOW deserved better, but i'll try to keep it short and sweet. in season one, their relationship was developed almost perfectly. sure, there definitely should have been more time from the first episode and onwards of actual contempt between them, but besides that i think the writers really did a very good job at building their relationship and dynamic.

then comes the giant fucking spiky, iron wrecking ball that is season two. immediately, all the trust and obvious affection and friendliness built in the first season just... disappears. i honestly think that a change in their dynamic was necessary! but with the current canon, there is absolutely no reason for it, and the changes that there were, quite frankly, sucked. they were completely unnecessary. but start off season two with them being all chummy and just genuinely good friends, and merlin starts to feel guilty for not telling arthur about his magic. (that's another thing about this goddamn show. i honestly can't think of a single time merlin expressed any actual guilt for lying to arthur about his magic for an entire fucking decade?? for the most part, all he expresses his fear at the possibility of arthur finding out, which makes me want to kick scream chew on someones eyelids and just generally maul someones face, but whatever ig. but this guilt could definitely result in some distance and loss of trust, and then it keeps building and building and building until... BANG! fucking magic reveal!!

its also perfect for the reason that, im sorry, i dont believe for a fucking second that season one arthur (MY arthur, thanks) would even LET merlin not tell him about his magic for TEN GODDAMN YEARS. he would sniff that shit out and wait patiently for merlin to spill before confronting him after like a month. because in season one, arthur definitely wasn't ready for a magic reveal. they weren't close enough, there wasn't enough trust, arthur hadn't grown enough yet, all the things. but season two? proved the perfect opportunity for all that to happen, and then on you can have ACTAUL GOOD CONFLICT instead of the entire conflict being "oh well merlins secret🥺" ........................SHUT THE FUCK UP

anyways, i think thats my whole opinion?? overall i just really think that the magic reveal should have happened longgg before the finale and this episode is the absolute perfect place for it to occur:)) thank you sm for the ask!! i had a lot of fun with this one if you couldn't tell lol. sorry for forgetting about it😭😭 so glad your back tho, and cant wait to have you lurking in my inbox again!!!

[quotidian-oblivion]

for the Melrin ask - Worst thing you think Merlin ever did. im so curious about this one

I had to think so much about this one too.

I don't know. I love Merlin, he's my favorite character. I justify everything he does, even if it's bad. That's what happens with any favorite fictional characters.

I don't want to say "Not telling Arthur sooner" or "Mistrusting Mordred" or "Poisoning Morgana" or anything of the like because, to be fair, that's a given. It's something a lot of us will lament about. Mainly because the writers did not do their job properly (imo).

I'd say, the worst thing he did, to me, is be passive.

I'm bringing up my own values and morals here because I believe that Merlin ruined himself and all of Albion by being passive. By listening to the dragon and not doing his own research. By being whatever Arthur needed him to be. By taking things upon himself. By not trusting others because that's what he was told.

If Merlin had been a little more assertive and a little more sure of himself and what he wanted, then the show would have gone on in an entirely different direction. But he's passive. For the majority of the show. The biggest time where he's not is in the first scene where he challenges Arthur because he wanted to stay true to his ideals and values which was to stand up against bullies who prey on the ones who can't defend themselves against them.

If he had been more assertive, he would have told Arthur earlier, he wouldn't have poisoned Morgana, he would have trusted Mordred or even Gwaine and the others more.

But he let himself be led by Destiny and Kilgharrah and Gaius and whoever else advised him rather than take some time to think things through first. Like Arthur does.

The thing about Merlin and Arthur here is that Arthur really is bolder than Merlin, but in a different way. He is bold in a way Merlin lacks, which is with practical and tactical matters. He questions Merlin's judgement, questions his father's judgement, Gaius's judgement. Agravaine was a main villain for season 4 because of his perfect ways of manipulation and deceit in a way that it got past Arthur's critical thinking and assertiveness. Arthur doesn't take things at face value and is willing to consider different ways things can go and the show mostly shows that when it comes to questioning Merlin's judgement (like about Agravaine and the siege tunnels and about Gwen at first etc). But in the first few seasons, he questioned his father's judgement a lot too but the fandom mainly focuses on Merlin's opinions vs Arthur's even though he and Uther had met head-on-head multiple times.

Arthur doesn't take things at face value which is why it's possible for so many magic reveal fics to look and be accurate.

But Merlin does. Merlin takes a lot of things at face value. He took Kilgharrah's sayings at face value, he took Gaius's (good-hearted but misguided) warnings at face value. He took what the druids said, what Edwin Muirden said, what Julius Borden said, what that druid seer in the Diamere episode said, and so many others at face value. Just accepted it without thinking much about it and went forward.

Don't get me wrong, Merlin has a very strong moral compass and moral thinking. But he lacks critical thinking. Something which Arthur doesn't lack. They complete each other in this way.

But if we're not looking at all that then I'd say the worst thing I believe Merlin ever did was poison Morgana because- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MERLIN, DID YOU NOT THINK OF ANY OTHER FUCKING SOLUTION???? HOW ABOUT GETTING MORGANA OUT OF THE CASTLE? HUH? WHAT THEN? WHAT ABOUT TELLING HER THAT HEY, I'M GONNA POISON YOU BUT DW I HAVE THE ANTIDOTE SO THAT I CAN REVIVE YOU AGAIN WHEN MORGAUSE COMES AND LIFTS THE SPELL BC I KNOW THAT YOU DONT WANT THIS EVEN THOUGH YOU THINK UTHER SUCKS. I MEAN, THE USED THAT PLAN SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES ALREADY, WHY COULDN'T THEY USE IT THIS ONCE???????

[sky-fire-forever]

So. A lot of people think those of us who dislike Izzy's death just hate character deaths or tragedy or whatever. I am here to say that that is ABSOLUTELY not the case. Not for me

I fucking love tragedy. I am a known tragedy enjoyer. I love it when my favorite characters die and I get to be sad about it. I have loved tragedy since I was a child. A Series of Unfortunate Events was one of my all time favorite book series. I love it when important characters die and the story makes you sad about it!

I am going to use a comparison here that I haven't seen anyone else use

So, for a long time, my favorite television show ever was BBC's Merlin. It's a silly comedy with dramatic elements, but it is first and foremost a comedy. Just like Our Flag Means Death. It's ridiculously goofy and silly and 99% of the time, the characters are just joking around and things that would kill people in real life are brushed off as jokes. It's fun!

And spoiler alert for a show that ended like a decade ago:

Characters die in Merlin! Despite it being a comedy at its core, really important characters die. Characters we like die and so do villains, be them sympathetic or otherwise. A lot of characters we grow to know and love die and they die tragically.

But I fucking LOVE Merlin and it's still one of my favorite shows ever. Because whenever a character dies in Merlin, their death is FELT. They get deaths worthy of their characters. You feel the loss and the show takes time to stop being a comedy for a moment to let the audience and the characters mourn.

We see Merlin cry over Lancelot, burdened by the grief of knowing he sacrificed himself for him. We see Gwen grieve the deaths of both her father and her brother. We even get to watch people grieve over Uther, a villain who has gotten in the way of so much, because the narrative acknowledges he was a person who people loved despite his cruel actions.

All of this in a show where the main characters call each other "clotpole" and where Arthur doesn't notice levitating keys right above his head! It's a comedy! A silly, silly show. But death still MATTERS when it happens and I actually adore the character deaths in this show! Even when it's my favorite characters!

Izzy doesn't get the respect the characters in Merlin did when he dies. It's glossed over, rushed through. Even at his funeral, no one seems genuinely sad. There is no time to slow down and watch anyone actually process his death because we have to hurry on to Pete and Lucius getting married.

I do think the show being cut is to blame for this. With more time, we might have had more room to breathe, to grieve. We could have time to process and to let the characters process

But we don't get that and it's a shame! It's a shame that Izzy's death feels so pointless and undeserving and meaningless! It's a shame we get no time to process his death! It's a shame the characters barely react to his death outside of the scene in which he dies! It's genuinely such a shame that Izzy's death leaves me feeling hollow instead of sad. If I felt sad, I'd like Izzy's death a lot more. But I'm not sad. I'm just so disappointed that that's how it played out

I wish I could feel sad over Izzy's death because I genuinely enjoy feeling sad over characters. But I'm not.

[cbk1000]

Another preview for that veterinarian fic I’m working on, because it’s up to 60,000+ words, and they still haven’t fucked, and since I’m not going to post this till it’s finished, I’m just sitting here in clown makeup right now. Need to start writing about smarter characters.

Uther was returned once more, and so Merlin was condemned alone to those cold wet hills which in Arthur’s presence had felt, not necessarily smaller, but less vast: vast in the old, Brittonic sense of scale, the illimitable wilds, when the world was a few scattered lights in the fen. Now the hills were those dim lumpish creatures of folklore, lurking behind veils of rain, and looking to do mischief. He was colder, literally, because Arthur always remembered whatever miscellany of gear he had forgot, or ruined, and chucked it in his face before getting in the truck; but colder too in the metaphorical sense, when the absence of one particular human suddenly recalls the world to what are all the lone hollows of it, where the wind is shrieking into nothing. He was wrangling sheep by himself, and diagnosing white line disease by himself; and when he tripped over a stray bucket or smacked his head on a wooden beam, there was nothing but concern, rather than mocking. He fell over his own x-ray machine, and thought how much Arthur would have liked to see it, and when he had got the truck bogged down in a field, and had to push it out using only his own stubbornness, and some advice from a farmer, there was no one to say, “Just come from your natural habitat, then?” when he emerged from the ordeal as muddy as a pig, or bog creature. 

He was turning over the matter of his bisexuality all the while. Because Gaius had told him not to, the natural urge was to fly immediately to the farm, and announce, in front of Uther and God, “By the way, I fuck men.” He had thought when Arthur was released back into the barns, he would make some casual mention of it, trotting it out, nonchalantly, when Arthur had made that heteronormative assumption of gender-exclusivity in mocking the taste of Merlin’s past and future partners: but for weeks he worked out in the paddocks and barns and hovered round the truck hopefully before hope was extinguished. He had not even seen him briefly whilst he was taking a client round the facilities, or glimpsed the blonde head through the rain whilst it was going from the lab to the office.

“He had a big fight with Uther,” Morgana told him whilst she was restraining a stallion, and Merlin was examining it. “Someone was going to purchase one of our mares who’s produced several stakes winners, and backed out because Arthur disclosed some information Uther didn’t want him disclosing.”

“What kind of information?” Merlin asked, straightening, and stretching out his back. “Just a little fungus, for him. We’ll just need to apply a hoof dressing.”

“That she’d produced multiple winners, but she’d had some difficult births, and her last was a stillborn. Uther thinks she’s still a few good breedings in her, but didn’t want to risk them himself.”

“How much did he lose out on?” Merlin asked.

“Nearly a million pounds.”

Merlin whistled.

“She’ll go to auction, but he’ll probably get less now than he was hoping for, and naturally that’s all Arthur’s fault.”

“Seems a bit, you know, ethical to disclose something like that to a potential buyer about to drop a million pounds.”

“Uther doesn’t like people being ethical if it costs him money. Anyway, there was a huge row. Uther said some very ugly things, in front of an audience; Arthur came down to the barns the other night after you’d already gone, and Uther went after him, and they had it out again, in front of the grooms. I wasn’t here, else I’d have clocked the old man, but I heard about it later. He got absolutely torn to pieces for being a failure. Brought his mother into it even. She died, all so Arthur could be a huge disappointment, etc.”

Merlin felt there was a little cold feeling of homicide in him. “He said what?”

“Oh, common theme here. You know she died of cancer shortly after she had him? She was diagnosed during her pregnancy, and delayed treatment because she was worried it would harm him. It mightn’t have saved her anyway, if she’d started it immediately; who knows. But she delayed it with plans to start after she gave birth, but it had metastasized and in the end she opted for comfort measures and passed away when he was only a few months old. Uther uses it to control him whenever he feels Arthur’s slipping through his fingers. If you can make your son feel that he killed his own mother, the great love of your life, it makes it far more difficult for him to tell you to piss off.” She stroked the horse’s nose. “He’s been trying to make up for that all his life.”

“That’s…fucking psychopathic to tell your child he killed his mother by being born.”

“Oh, he never says it outright; he lets implication and Arthur’s self-esteem do that for him.” She looked at him over the horse’s head, her face bracketed by the fine velvet ears, and said, very solemnly, “He’s very easily hurt. So don’t hurt him. I like you; I’d hate to add you to my list.”

“Ok?” Merlin said in confusion. There was nothing that could be done, so far as he could see, by a bisexual to the heterosexual on which he had a very small but inadvisable crush; but she was staring at him, and seemed a capable murderer: and so he said, “I wouldn’t. I like him. When he’s not being a complete testicle.”

She gave him a look which he felt was too knowledgeable for his comfort, scratching one of the flicking ears whilst he turned away to rummage about in his bag, under the guise of treating the hoof, so that she would not see his ears had gone hot, which he could not see, but expected had manifested as a kind of unseasonable strawberry on either side of his head. He had been careful not to make the ‘I like him’ anything more than an offhand comment on the passing acquaintance; there was nothing burning in it, but only a little observation that Arthur was a member of the human race whom Merlin, occasionally, did not completely abhor. But as he stood he saw that she was looking at him as if he had said, “I am on one knee; I am proposing to your brother; I am taking him away from his rubbish father”; not only an unfair imputation, but an inaccurate one. “Arthur’s fine. He’s ok. Sorry about his shit dad,” he said, in defence of himself, because his mouth had never met a situation on which he could have improved by simply not talking, and simply not bloody talked.

Morgana smirked at him; and he gave her the instructions for the dressing, and hurried away into the rain.

[praecurokat]

Ted Lasso Finale Thoughts- So Long, Farewell... (I do not know what to think!)

this episode being an hour and 15 minutes..after being released at midnight... that's just cruel.. my brain cannot operate properly under such conditions..

congrats Tedbecca shippers! oop watched more.. sorry Tedbecca shippers...

most normal Beard and Jane appearance in the series at Rebecca’s house in the beginning

writers were bringing the dramatic flair in this episode! first that thing with Isaac dressed as a judge in the beginning, and then a musical number! idk how i feel about that..

speaking of the musical number, i must regretfully inform the masses that idk what the song is from.. pls lmk in the comments.. i see that it relates to the episode title

ah yes Jane acting totally normal by shredding Beard's passport.. total ✨ marriage material ✨

Trent's shirt says sat 17 may.. could this be significant?? everything in this show is..

"You know, that might be a tasty little treat for the diamond dogs.” “No. No. No. No!”-Roy, soon to become a Diamond Dog in a moment of desperation

wait did Trent name his manuscript the lasso way awww

“I only got into this to ruin Rupert's life, and he seems to be doing a pretty good job of that himself.”- Rebecca

So. Many. Throwbacks. Keeley saying “Is everybody decent?”, Jamie using lots of axe body spray like S1, the cleaner walking in on everyone, and way more i can’t think of

the complicated web that is royjamiekeeley is still being spun.. in the last episode..

“Must be awful for them, lying awake at night, haunted by how fucking easy they’ve had it!”- Mae, to Rebecca’s mom

Trent watching Ted read his book.. heart eyes emoji

the way Ted looks at him.. i meannn is this even subtext anymore?

“So you do laugh, but you don't do it until page.. 43?! And it wasn't even a big laugh!”- Trent, while Ted is reading his manuscript

"Whatever happens on Sunday, I want you to know I’m proud of you. All the work you’ve put in this year."- Roy to Jamie, before proceeding to fistfight with him later

Both Roy and Jamie seem very contemplative this ep. What are they thinking??

i am so concerned about the current royjamie feud over Keeley... what is gonna happen here???

“Would you please stay?” and “I know, I just had to try.”- Rebecca, about Ted

lmao Keeley kicking both Roy and Jamie out after they asked her to choose

“You stay put, Trenthouse magazine. You’re part of the squad now.”- Ted, to Trent

“Yeah. Someone better. Can people change?”- Roy, also this is a central tenet of this damn show

“I don’t think we change per se, as much as we just learn to accept who we’ve always been, you know?” -Trent’s most beautiful quote thus far

aww Nate finally got his diamond dogs reaction to Jade

George being Rupert’s coach sent me.. like you Really couldn’t find anyone else?

I hate Rupert but I love his dramatic slay coat swish moments.. again reminds me of Uther’s drama queen antics

“I prefer rugby, there’s just more grown men throwing other grown men into the air like children. And blood. Which is nice." - Barbara

Bloodthirsty and mysterious? Barbara is a serial killer or vampire confirmed.

“Never forget, I am always inside you.” -Zava’s note, which also came with a giant avocado

Zorro has truly entered his superhero arc and Dani Rojas is his genius creator

the fourth thing has to be 'Believe'.. aand it was? Right?

AFC Richmond Women’s club.. i sense a spinoff show opportunity…. or they could just do a show about Trent

George has begun a redemption arc!! (Telling Rupert to fuck off)

Rupert's desperation and misery at the end is not entirely unreminiscent of Rebecca at the start of S1

yesss Colin got his kiss on the pitch!!

haha the same? person from S1E1 taking pics w Ted in the airport

damn so Beard’s going home too, thought Jane would've locked him away in a safe or smth… nvm

omg Amsterdam man has a child.. hmmm Rebecca’s prophecy may still be fulfilled

Roy becoming manager feels natural

Ofc Trent renamed his book ‘The Richmond Way’… never let them know your next move

that montage at the end…so much to process....

beardjane wedding marking the end of the series.. good or bad omen for the future? i think bad

seems very fitting the series ending the opposite of how it began.. Rupert's life ruined, Rebecca in love and not owner of the club, Roy and Jamie healing and bonding w others around them, and Ted back in America with family.

[thecocacolacorporation]

what is manipulation if not charm with purpose?

Pairing: The Brucolac x Uther Doul

Word Count: 4,000

Warnings: light blood play, reference to past sexual relations, swearing, reference to injury

Rating: Mature

Here we go, lads.

Uther Doul x The Brucolac fan fiction. Set soon after the events of The Scar. Essentially my interpretation of what happened when Uther Doul went to visit the Brucolac, from the Brucolac's perspective.

Its NSFW because I don't want you to get in trouble for reading fan fiction on company time <3 I care about you, and want you to be safe. Also there is light blood play and stuff, so there is that as well.

This kinda follows my Good! Doul headcanon post, a very different Doul from who we see in the novel. As outlined below...

He was outside again.

The Brucolac looked down at him, the man only faintly illuminated by the light from the masts of the Uroc. He always came when the saint’s fire burned. He wanted to be seen. From this angle, through the window of the Brucolac’s office, he looked small. He could be overlooked as just a fleck of dirt on the outer pane of glass. Just a pale speck amidst the endless black night and the void of the sea.

There was a faint knock on the door, and one of his lieutenants entered.

‘Sir, Uther Doul is here to see you again’

The Brucolac sighed and covered his mouth with his hand.

This was the seventh night in a row. It had rained for the first two. As the city reversed and moved north, it had been steadily getting colder. Citizens had dug out their thicker coats and boots, so recently stowed away. Doul had stood resolutely, only fading away into the dark when the pale fire retreated.

What is this, Uther? He thought, This new dance of yours​​?

Since they had turned away from the Scar, everything had felt unfinished. Public feeling was complex and incommunicable. Regret mixed with relief, rage intermingled with humility. There had been many relocations between the ridings. Those from Garwater, who felt they simply could not trust the Last Remaining Lover, came to Dry Fall to show their support for the failed coup. Those who were bitter about the wasted time and material on a project that they never got to see to completion, took up residence in Garwater. Even in the ridings that had taken no visible action, there was unrest just bubbling under the surface, waiting to pop.

‘Send him in’

‘Sir...are you sure?’ The lieutenant shifted uncomfortably, ‘Would...would you like a guard accompanying you?’

It took a lot of nerve to ask. The Brucolac could respect that, and could see its kindness, but still. He wanted to claw his eyes out. He wanted to scream, ‘I’m the fucking Brucolac, I am not afraid of anything, and I am certainly not afraid of Uther fucking Doul’, but his hands were shaking. They were aged, cracked and cragged like parched desert soil.

The past few weeks, the mask had slipped.

The Brucolac fixed him with a harsh glare, and he left the room.

It had been almost a month since the mutiny.

Like dropping a hefty stone into water, it had vanished from sight, but the ripples still rang out. They rang so loud in The Brucolac’s head. He had, of course, thought deeply about the ramifications of his actions beforehand. He had contemplated the effect it would have, not just on him, but his citizens. The citizens of wider Armada too. He had concluded that, whatever the actual outcome, he could not stand by and let this play out. It was worth the risk, for Armada, for his home, for the greater good. He hoped that, should he be wrong in his judgement, that history remembered him as a considerate fool, instead of a coward, or a sadist, who went along with such a plan.

He had expected punishment, if unsuccessful. He had accepted loss of his standing, loss of respect, pain, torture, and even, his final, true death.

He hadn’t expected the cross.

Every second, pain intolerable. For days, his skin blistered and burst, the salt from the pus stinging his wounds as it dripped from him. He screamed incessantly, until the sun had burnt even the back of his throat. The light of the moon had licked his wounds some, but it only served to make them more tender to the sun’s onslaught the next dawn. He had tried to fight till the last, still hurling insults to any of the Garwater elites he saw, but by the third day of unremitting torment, he longed for death. He would call out to the citizens who came by, and beg them to decapitate him, to kill him outright, but they would hurry away, embarrassed by his cachexia, his pathetic pleading.

He was under no illusion, it was the Lovers’ decision, but it had been Doul who had brought him to that cross.

He had exploited The Brucolac’s weakness to land that first, and incapacitating blow. The Brucolac’s weakness for him. How, whatever else was going on, he did not want to hurt him, not really. He had been so sure that Doul had felt the same; that when it really came down to it, he would take his side. It made him feel disgusted with himself, just how much care and gentleness he had shown this mortal man, this quick.

You let this man play you like a child with his toy soldiers.

Doul did not knock, just the light click of the door’s handle sliding back into place told The Brucolac that he was there.

He considered not turning around, he didn’t want to give him the dignity of his full attention. He didn’t want to look at him. The ghost of him, reflected in the window pane, his incorporeal frame filling his view, was enough to make his stomach turn.

And his smell.

All vampir are equally cursed and blessed with preternatural senses. They can taste emotions. Smell intent. They had the ability to feel minor changes in the air that told them of the weather turning, to hear a pin drop through several brick walls. It helped them to hunt and hide and entrance.

Uther Doul smelt of fresh sweat, and the vanillin of old books, and well-cared for leather, as well as charisma, and focus, and discipline. But, this night, there was an obsequious taste emanating from his skin. Something wheedling and simpering that was never there before.

He was repulsive to the Brucolac now.

‘Deadman Brucolac’, His voice, lyrical and as clear as the dawn, burned him.

‘Uther.’

The Brucolac turned and stood before the other man.

Doul took the briefest intake of breath, and he could taste a sudden note of shock seep from his former friend’s skin, before it was replaced by that fawning sweetness that set his teeth on edge.

For several days and nights after he was cut down, The Brucolac had to be fed by his lieutenants. Like an invalid, one would prop up his shoulders, while another brought the blood filled vials to his lips. They would wash him and change him when he soiled himself, and, mercifully, leave him to weep alone, from his raw, sightless eyes.

His wounds would have killed a mortal man. Even with all of his power, he was still marked and aching across his body. His burns still wept. His joints groaned under new duress. His eyesight, so vivid and clear before, was blurred, out of focus. Unreal shapes clouded his vision. He woke at nightfall from fretful dreams, carefully moved his stiff limbs to dress and limped around the Uroc. He couldn’t bare to be seen by any of his citizens. Topical application of blood helped. It soothed his wounds like a healing balm. He would massage it into his joints when they ached, into his temple to soothe his stabbing headaches.

The Brucolac looked wounded.

‘Shocked at my appearance, Uther?’ he sneered, ‘Do you find it distasteful?’

Uther said nothing. His face he kept unreadable.

The Brucolac sighed, ‘Why are you here, Uther?’

Uther opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He swallowed, loud enough for the Brucolac to hear, then started again, ‘There is nothing that I can say that will do justice to the betrayal that you must feel.’

‘The betrayal I must feel’ thought the Brucolac, Not ‘the betrayal that was done to me’, just ‘the betrayal I must feel’. Fuck off, Uther

Uther’s hands were clasped behind his body, in a soldier’s stance

‘But I wanted to apologise. To you. Fully, for my actions.’

The Brucolac couldn’t even describe Doul as traitorous. He had side stepped any request for assurances or promise, as deliberately and deftly as an acrobat. He never admitted to or conspired to do anything. He had just stood there, in his stony-faced persona, and let the Brucolac do the work.

They had been friends once.

Lovers, for a while.

Now, looking at him made him nauseous.

‘I wish...I wish that things could have been different. I wish it hadn’t come to this.’ his voice, like an incantation, ‘I have always cared for you deeply.’

The Brucolac noticed the faintest softness around Doul’s eyes. As if remembering a dream, the Brucolac recalled the other beautiful things he used to say to him with stunning, vivid clarity.

He had always known that his old friend was capable of deft manipulations. Before, when Doul had been more than the craven image standing before him, he would steer conversations to where he needed it to go with the skill of a practised helmsman. He had seen him seduce men and women with his handsome face and his intoxicating blend of confidence and awkwardness. He was disarming in more ways than one. His charm, his ability to make you feel as though you, and only you, were allowed to glimpse behind the mask, would make anyone weak to him.

And what is manipulation if not charm with purpose?

The Brucolac never thought it would happen to him. He now realised, with a churn of his stomach, that neither did any of his other marks.

‘I know that this will probably mean little to you, and I will answer any questions that you ask of me, completely. Honestly.’ his voice earnest, ‘But please believe me what I say I did what I had to. To save Armada.’

The Uroc was a quiet ship. Even from this, the top, floor, the whispered lapping of the water on the hull filled the room.

Uther Doul stepped towards him, stealthy and placating, a lion tamer approaching its charge.

‘You were right you know. I didn’t agree with the Lovers’ plans. It was a succession of stupid, dangerous ideas... which I felt responsible for, for giving them the damned ideas in the first place.’

‘Before, I had dreamed that I could use my knowledge, my research, to help bring Armada into a new golden age. I wanted to give that to the city. But I only had ideas, half baked plans. When I read about the Scar, about the power we could harness once we got there, I was too excited by what I had found. I shouldn’t have let them be known without doing more research, without thinking of the ramifications of my actions. I didn’t realise how far it would go’

Uther was just a pace away from The Brucolac. The scent of his pleading, like damp soil mixed with stringent lemon, swirled around the room. The top buttons of his shirt were undone, exposing the base of his neck, as if he had been caught half way through dressing. His cropped hair was unkempt. The Brucolac noticed, with shock, that he was unarmed. He held himself as if the weight of the possible sword still hung at his hip.

‘It was only after that it became clear to me. From my application of possibility science…’

‘I couldn’t give a whore’s fuck about possibility science’ The Brucolac growled

Uther let the rest of the sentence die in his throat.

‘What I am trying to say is, I did what I had to, Deadman.’ he looked at his hands

‘I am sorry that it came to that. If I could have changed anything at all, I would have not allowed you to be...treated that way.’

He won’t even say it, seethed the Brucolac, he won’t even admit what was done to me, accept his part in all of this

Doul’s eyes met his, ‘I’m sorry that I hurt you’

‘You humiliated me, Uther!’ The Brucolac roared, his whole body buckling with fury.

He seethed from the force of his yell.‘I don’t care that you were thinking of the city. I don’t care about your master plan.’

One solitary sob broke past his lips, ‘I wanted you to care about me’

‘I know you never…’ he tensed his jaw, readjusted himself, started again, ‘You would come to me, and confide in me, and kiss me, and fuck me, and I know, I have always known, that it meant more to me than you. I always knew I was an ersatz lover, some kind of replacement for something you hadn’t found yet. At first, I thought time might pull you to me. Then, I’d break my own heart thinking of you. Over and over again, I imagined you laughing at me, so soft for you and no one else. I thought about how, one day, you’d probably find someone new. Some Deadwife, maybe. Some nice, sweet girl, who’d bare your children, and you’d tell her about us, not even doing me the dignity of being a dirty secret, and you’d both giggle together at your youthful indiscretion.’

He breathed heavily, and lent against his desk, suddenly weakened.

‘Regardless, that was in the past.’ He gazed out the window. The night was deep, the moon and her daughters at the peak of their ascent, ‘I was fine with our return to friendship’

He had not been fine. What had distressed him the most was the wordless nature of their break up. Doul used flash him that boyish smile that seemed so incongruous with the rest of him, and the Brucolac would know that he would share his bed that night. He would whisper delicious nothings, as he penetrated him, and then, when both had finished, he would ask nervously if he was okay, that he was sure it hadn’t hurt at all. Always so gentle. Then, as though ripping off a bandage, he would rise from their bed and wordlessly leave. Only his scent and his warmth to remind the Brucolac that it had not been some hallucination, not some dream.

The Brucolac sighed deeply. He hadn’t been worthy of a dismissal. No awkward, painful conversation about different hopes and directions, about unaligned personalities, about ‘affection-but-nothing-more’ for the other. The absence of a proper end to their relationship just made it harder to put to rest. It was true that, until comparatively recently, The Brucolac still felt like maybe, in one of their clandestine meetings, maybe Doul might grip his hand, and pull him close, and they would be wrapped up in each other again.

Instead, they fell into a friendship, or what could be described as a friendship. One that hurt as frequently as it helped. Harsh words in public; secret, one-sided discussions at night.

‘I was fine when I could pretend that you at least cared for me a little.’

Doul started towards him. His arm reached out to close the gap between them. The Brucolac flinched away.

‘Brucolac, if I could explain, if I could get you to understand how much I have given up…’ he trailed off, perhaps sensing that his choice of words felt rich.

The Brucolac stared at him darkly as he continued,‘I want to go back. To the way things were. Before the fucking avanc, and the Scar, before I started working for the Lovers, back when we first met’ He pleaded, ‘I have always tried to do the right thing.’

‘I have given up so much for this city, because I thought it was necessary. But...I am tired.’

He laughed a little. It sounded empty and hollow. ‘I’m so tired of always letting go!’

He began to pace, floorboards creaking under his feet, ‘Everything I have done, is for someone else! I wanted to serve, but I didn’t know it would make me a slave. Once you start down that path, you realise that everything matters. There is no chance, no happenstance. Everything has got to be exactly right. You can’t live. You can’t just be anymore. Everything is a choice. Left, right. Red, green. Eggs for breakfast, bread.’

The Brucolac didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, but let him unravel before him.

‘I don’t remember the last time I chose something, for myself just because I liked it, because I wanted it. Because I needed it’

Uther’s paused and smiled at him, tenderly, shyly.

This made the Brucolac stutter. This could not possibly be the same man in front of him. The same man, who stood, blank faced in a room full of scientists, and the Lovers themselves, and let them cook ridiculous and dangerous plans. The man who would shout him down when he requested help ending this suicidal scheme. The man who, impassively, let the Brucolac be crucified and left to burn.

‘Tell me, how can I repent?’ Doul stepped towards his former friend, ‘It will take time, of course it will take time, and I will not pressure you, but I am willing to wait. I am willing to come and stand outside your window for forty nights... fifty... forever. Whatever it takes.’

There was a manic look to Doul’s face. His usual unmoveable expression barely constraining a frantic energy, just underneath the surface, that unnerved the Brucolac greatly. Maybe he has gone mad? The Brucolac thought, Maybe Uther Doul has finally cracked?

The two men stared at each other for what felt like an age. The Brucolac, worn and tired from pain. Uther Doul, filled with some sort of passion that his ex-lover could not place.

‘I will not pressure you, I will not force you, but I want you to understand’ he paused meaningfully ‘I will beg for your forgiveness’

He emphasised the beg, as if it were a promise.

The Brucolac felt his shoulders slump a little. How much he wished he could take this plea at face value. He would punish him, make him cry and beg and lick his boots, but then his forgiveness would be a divine reward. After pardoning Doul, they could both be free to go back to how they had been. He could think about him again without feeling his skin prickle and his throat tighten. How he wished Doul could go back to being someone he could trust.

But, he was steeled to the fact that there always had to be something else. There was always something else, some sub-clause at the end of every one of his contracts. Even with the benefit of hindsight, The Brucolac struggled to pin point when Doul began to manipulate him. Was it before they met? Subsequent to him becoming Garwater’s man? After they first kissed?

‘You can hurt me’ he said, almost sweetly, ‘Please, Brucolac, hurt me, if you wish. I...I just want to make this right’

Any anger that may have abated from sadness and grief for a past long lost, returned with the vigour of an avalanche.

The Brucolac leapt up, full of feline grace, and grabbed Doul full force. He held his face tightly in his hand, and squeezed. Squeezed his cheeks hard enough to make him look laughable, ridiculous. Doul’s lips parted under pressure, and he could feel his teeth, his jaw bone, the scaffolding that kept him together. He pushed the taller man down, until he was on his knees before him, wide eyes looking up at him.

How he would love to hurt him.

He would love to have him flogged. In front of the entirety of Armada. He wanted to shout from the roof top of the Uroc, as the whip cracked and Doul whimpered, ��Here is the great Uther Doul. Finally, facing the consequences of his actions.’ He wanted to parade his broken, pathetic body through the streets, all strength sucked from him, cringing and ashamed.

It felt such a childish, even lecherous, desire.

‘Is that all it would take for you?’ The Brucolac hissed, ‘A simple exchange; you hurt me, I hurt you, then we are even?’

He grabbed his tight cropped hair and pulled his head back. He did not resist. He let his neck lay bare in front of The Brucolac. The thin skin of his jugular quivered with each pulse. The Brucolac could smell it, ebbing and flowing, metallic and heady.

He let one sharpened talon trace the muscles of his neck. Let it push into his flesh, just a little. Every part of Doul was formed, like a sculpture, like a machine. It was strange to see the softness of his surface, see his flesh yield.

He had under estimated how hard he scratched. It punctured his skin. Doul did not flinch. A trickle of blood run down his pale skin. The Brucolac’s jaw unhinged instinctively. His teeth extended, ready to feed. The scent of his blood was ineluctable.

There was a time when turning Doul would have been his dream. To have him by his side, his colonel, his right hand man; it would have felt like being chosen.

His serpentine tongue flicked out eagerly, and he let it mop up the flow, avoiding the wound deftly. He wanted to drink from him, to clamp his teeth deep into his jugular and to feel his life force pour into him, to feed until he was intoxicated by it, but he stopped himself. He let himself lick and suck what flowed from his wound. His mouth filled with his blood. Hot and metallic; he tasted of fear and arousal and self-inflicted passivity.

Gods, he had missed him.

The Brucoloc drunk all that the spring of blood had brought forth. He felt the other man’s strength flow into him, and Gods, he was strong. The feel of Doul’s skin underneath his tongue, his mouth, felt deliciously familiar. He had craved it for years. There was a part of him that yearned to feel his weight upon his back, to let him back in, even with all the pain he had caused. He let his tongue lead up from the wound, finding his way to his lips and kissed him deeply. Doul submitted completely, and let the blood spill into his mouth.

A tentative presence, then loving strokes, The Brucolac felt Doul’s hand caress his face. His flesh warm was against his own dead, cold skin. He brushed wild hair from his cheeks, and cupped the back of his head, pulling him in deeper into the kiss. Nothing, nothing had felt sweeter.

The Brucolac detached from him quickly, as if he had been scorched.

‘We both know it doesn’t work like that’

He stepped back from him, and watched as Doul wiped blood from his mouth.

‘Nothing I do to you will earn you forgiveness’

The Brucolac returned behind his desk, and turned away. He could feel himself shaking.

‘I have never wanted to hurt you. All I have ever wanted was softness’, he fought to keep the quiver out of his voice.

He was well aware that he sounded pathetic, but he felt beaten. Whatever game Doul was playing, whatever this temptation was for, he wanted no part in it. He watched the reflection of his former lover rise to his feet. How dare you, how dare you come here to offer me everything I ever wanted, knowing that you have poisoned it, defiled it so?

If it had to be like this, then so it shall remain.

Doul seemed to sense that he was no longer welcome. The cold of the night had seeped back into the room. The warmth he had left on the Brucolac’s skin was fading fast.

Uther Doul walked slowly to the door.

He stopped at the frame, ‘I am, truly and forever, sorry for what I have done. And I mean it, I will wait. However long it takes’

There was silence between them. The Brucolac’s entire body was overcome with fatigue deeper than his muscles, deeper than his bones. He held himself steady.

Doul grasped the handle and pulled it towards him, before the Brucolac spoke.

‘Don’t come back, Doul. I’m done.’

[castelled-away]

Ok, so. I noticed something while obsessively thinking back on BBC Merlin & the scattered memories I have from some of the episodes (Yes, I know I need to rewatch it & I’m gonna, but I have to prepare myself for pain first)…

Elena is called Princess Elena with full name because she’s the daughter of King Godwyn & Mithian is Princess Mithian for being the daughter of King Rodor. BUT Vivian, who’s also the daughter of a king, King Olaf, is never spoken to with the title of Princess, just Lady Vivian. Why tho? What makes her different from the other 2 girls????

I may have an explanation for this ig:

Morgana, when she’s still Uther’s ward and not known as his bastard daughter with legitimate claim to the throne (haha suck it Arthur), is ALSO called the Lady Morgana bc she is at least to outsiders not of Uther’s royal blood & therefore can’t use the title of a princess.

So maybe Vivian isn’t of royal blood either? Although, Olaf is so protective of her & calls her his daughter, so those 2 kinda have to be related or otherwise connected.

Here’s where my theory comes in:

Maybe Vivian really isn’t Olaf’s child by blood, but only his wife’s. As in Olaf’s wife had Vivian with another man & Olaf just said fuck it & started treating Vivian as his own anyways. Maybe bc Olaf is infertile & that was the only way they could think of to get a child.

OR she isn’t of noble blood AT ALL & from a normal peasant family & Olaf adopted her for whatever reason (dead parents, famine, disease etc. you name it), which would be really wholesome, BUT it would also paint Vivian as this hypocritical meanie bc of how she looks down on non-nobleborn servants like Gwen if she HERSELF were not nobleborn either. So I don’t really like that 2nd theory. I mean yeah, Lady Vivian is an (unreasonably) mean & classicist egomaniac, but I don’t think she’s that much of a hypocrite. That would just publicly hurt her ego too deeply, as it would surely be well known that Olaf adopted a „lowly born“ peasant girl. Like srsly, imagine! ALL the kings & noblemen would have held that fact over Olaf‘s head at EVERY royal banquet/outing/political gathering, so Vivian would have really had to stay in line & not say overly much on the topic. BUT SHE DIDN‘T. She was a bitch & talked openly & loudly about being soo much better than her subjects (poor Gwen rlly she deserved better)

So in conclusion:

I like my 1st theory, in which Olaf & Vivian aren’t related by blood & she is from his wife’s side of the family, better. Bonus, if it is due to Olaf’s infertility. That also makes Olaf‘s overprotective & caring nature towards Vivian all the more sweeter bc I would LOVE to see representation of non-traditional families/families with adopted children in media. Plus Olaf is a good father, ok? We SEE that in s2e10. He spoils his lil’ brat of a daughter bc to him she’s probably perfect despite all her flaws & she ONLY deserves the best & NO MAN will ever be good enough for her (fuck off Arthur, go & marry Gwen).

Great, now I’m crying. Idk man. There’s just something about Olaf being a good dad & loving the awful Vivian with all of his noble, selfish heart, that brings tears to my eyes, thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[versegm]

Tbh I think if Mash/Morgan is to go anywhere it would have to be at Mash's initiative because Morgan took like 2000 years to realize she had a crush on Uther and I am certain it would take just as long with her crush on Mash.

However. I do think it would be really fucking funny if Morgan somehow fell for Mash first, went "mh. I get the feeling that she is constantly mourning someone who is not here. Well whatever man I'll take my chance regardless if I could bluff my way into Master's marriage I can get this girl to hold my hand easy peasy." Meanwhile Mash, who is mourning Morgan, is now left confusing seeing her aged-up ex hitting on her in the weirdest ways known to man and fairies alike.

[fictionkinfessions]

SUP ARTHUR PENDRAGON IS BACK

I'm so cool with my death. Literally in the fiset season i was so clear. I'm meant to die for my kingdom, is my destiny. Kilgarrah was wrong I knew it and i was fully into it because I was a fathers boy.

My own fault Merlin speaks against Aggrivane and I threaten his life. "why did he never tell arthur anything?" cuz i would have threatened to kill him. You gotta make me think it's my idea.

Which I did. I thought I came up with dying. I wasnt even scared until Merlin made me see that I can make kingdomwide reforms

I think i am the reason I died. I hesitated. I knew I was to die and I hesitated because I exist for the good of everyone. Except Merlin apparently.

Literally fuck me apparently I sensed Merlin was the other side of the coin, hijacked the coin, then made him suffer for being close because I am such a great king.

I think im the only Arthur P on here so if anyone wants any updates on me I fused with a bunch of other fictives and now I think i count as a kin. I kinshift alot but it's cool. I'm surrounded by my system and our friends. I am loved.

Ik it sounds like I hate myself but I don't I hate the actions the arrogant prince and teh idiot king made. I'm still Arthur Pendragon but I've no responsibility of running a kingdom. I'm so free it makes me giddy.

I'm going to improve Albion and it wont even kill me. I'll fight battles and wage wars for my disorder and I'll forge each footstep alone. I'll tread this path bearing only the load of my own expectatin and the weapon of my own expertise.

Also duelsource artthur pendragon, in the legand Merlin locked the lady of the lake in a cave and it's so funny to me because bbc Merlin could never do that. I love him dearly. Absolute clotpole please go, live your life. You're allowed to get over me.

Also Mordrid, that was a gross overreaction and you know it. If I ever see you apologise. I've been a teen with a sword and did I kill the king? No. Merlin did. (/ligh hearted, i dont mind you killed my dad merlin, it was an accident and morgana's fault)

Morgana is good we only fought bc i wouldnt legalise magic on threat of violence despite the fact we kinda never made clear we're chill with magic users and she kinda had her whole life taken from her the day she found out she had magic because uther would never legalise it ad then i just dont solve that problem. It was sorta my job. You go my dearest sister. Keep doing whatever ur doing and dont read the legand.

I only relate to crazy merlin & me bits of the legand it's so bad

x