#and we'll also see how long the motivation lasts for this one 💀

[mintaii]

botw au idea i had for a while that abruptly decided to re-emerge in the year 2024

[joltai-showa]

The final chapter notes for From Queen to a Pawn!

Or in which we'll look over the stuff in the last 3 chapters of the gargatuan fic that I have finished after almost a year!

Let's see if I am going to devolve into notes for the porn part💀

title of chapter 12

Gods, angels, queens and pawns - literally made it in 0.5 seconds while I was filling up the form for the chapter. also pretty sure I forgor to put it in the first place, so I added it like 2 minutes after the chapter went live. yup. that's what editing does to you, kids

anyway, the title is pretty basic, literally covering everyone that is going to make an appearance

"...not gonna tell how you managed to fuck up this badly, huh, bitch?"

so, regarding Hidan's long awaited (or maybe not) appearance - my own interpretation of this character is that he is someone who is constantly craving violence. he is not the only one among Akatsuki to be like that (Deidara is quite similar in that regard!), but with his religion being the most important facet of this character and said religion literally being based on the principle "kill thy neighbour", he is the guy who is by far the most likely to start shit over the smallest of things. one of the tragedies that I personally see in the younger generation of Akatsuki - Hidan, Deidara and maybe a little bit Itachi - is that they can not live peacefully. The main motivators behind Akatsuki are Nagato, Konan and Obito, all of them belonging to the same older generation that fought in the Third Shinobi World War and got completely wrecked by it, which is why all of them are going to such lengths to reach their perceived absolute peace. However, the results of their actions and the existing system is the children of the Third Shinobi World War, the very same one that just can not perceive peace at all. To them, living means fighting, and that's what they were taught their whole life.

anyway, as it's been mentioned, Konan kind of has every member of Akatsuki one a leash when they are in Ame, so no one is allowed to just attack civilians, even if you really want to. and this really clashes with Hidan's religion.

now, as usual, Kishimoto just kinda created Jashinism and abandonded it at that, even if that's an actual goddamn god that can give real power to its followers. huh. HUH.

so anyway, I'm trying to make something of an actual religion out of bits and pieces that got thrown around in the manga. at the time of writing this post, I can't even remember if there's anything more than "there are some prayers before/after sacrifice (and for some reason Hidan is annoyed to do them)" and something something non-believers are not tolerated. I am not even sure if I hallucinated half of it, but anyway, as of right now, my version of Jashinism has a thing about regular human sacrifices - which is a big problem when your boss stations you at a village where you really shouldn't kill anyone, so Hidan's already pissed about this fact any time he comes into Ame. his only options are either non-villagers (which are rare) or dragging his ass somewhere far enough from Ame to find someone unlucky enough to get sent straight into afterlife.

and about that - in Jashinism, you are not sending someone into Pure Lands (which is the actual existing plane for souls in the universe as far as I am concerned)/heaven/hell, you are sending these people to Lord Jashin himself. now, what type of people does he prefer? and that, kiddos, comes down to whoever commits the murders in his name. Hidan prefers the strong, as Jashin-sama fights those sent to him/bathes in their blood/enjoys the glory of victory/yada yada, another priest might be more about "Jashin-sama endlessly celebrates with them during his banquets, drinks and makes love to them", so they would be more focused on women, you get the idea. so, another issue with Hidan at the beginning of this chapter - Deidara, by losing her arms, cucked him out of fighting through the Land of Lightning to get to Nii Yugito and then fighting her too. and now the best thing he can do for Jashin-sama is some stragglers making the mistake of coming through the war-torn Land of Rains (which is a name of the country where Ame is. and yes, I completely made it up. canon does not have a name for it :)) cuz of course it doesn't. is the Village Hidden in the Rain situated in the Land of Rains stupid? yes. do I care? not really). really small fry compared to the ninja of one of Five Great Nations.

and, I guess, another thing that I think is pretty believable is that Hidan is not an actual priest of Jashin, he is only one of the followers that interpreted dogmas in a certain way, which is why he's just on his own like that. this explains why he's irritated at the need to complete the prayers, but ultimately follows them through - he saw an actual priest do them. now, as for what I imagine his backstory being (which is not important for the larger AU, so I'm pretty sure nothing too spoilery is gonna be out) - Hidan was born at the beginning of the Third Shinobi World War, right in between Land of Fire and Land of Lightining. His mother was a prostitute offering her services to the wealthy visitors of the hot springs, and the child was an unfortunate accident of that. The war breaks out, and so the woman ends up in complete and utter poverty, and, with the kid's bizarre looks - red eyes, white hair, an albino - she presumes him to be the source of her misfortunes. She sells him to a cult that is growing in popularity as the desparation starts to settle among the people forced to survive through the terrors of war every day - and the cult, in particular, is interested in the child due to the color of his eyes, as Jashin values everything blood-alike, which is why they do not use him as a sacrifice. instead, he becomes something of an errand boy, and when he does not do chores for the members of the cult, the priests do various experiments on him, testing his connection with Jashin's favor. eventually, he grows up, and becomes a Jashin follower too, and a quite feverent one. looking at the main dogma - kill thy neighbour - Hidan eventually realizes that this applies to the other people in the Jashinist commune as well (which is a line the priests usually draw), so he kills them all one day. Is his immortality the result of priests experiments? Is it due to him truly following through on Jashin's will? Who knows, but Hidan's power undeniably is connected to the cult.

also one final fact that I think would be pretty neat - Hidan is illiterate. He can not read, he was never taught by the cult, and Academies only exist in Five Great Nations, with schools being practically non-existent in the minor nations. Kakuzu is the one who has to do all reading for him.

so, back to the original point - Hidan's really pissed at Deidara, because he's now back to being stuck in Ame. Again. And now fuck knows how long, because the entire hunt got paused as everyone in the Five Great Nations is losing their shit after that attack on Suna, so Hidan's come to throw his frustrations out. He's naturally always itching for a fight, so later in the chapter he's actively seeking it with Deidara, because boring and peaceful existence is unnerving for someone like him (and yes looking over corpses with Kakuzu is in fact pretty boring).

They, theoretically, should have already been in the middle of it, and yet the agreed hour came and passed, and Konan was yet to be seen. 

So, to summarize what had happened: Obito's a bitch and changed the meeting place at the very last moment (just because he can); Konan, being busy doing something actually productive (can't be my buddy Obito, he's here to angrily grunt and huff and stomp his feet) does not have the time to learn that the place had been changed, she's actually out and about in the village, discussing Deidara's condition with both the doctors and Kakuzu, taking her painkillers, doing other chores around the village, yada, yada. And it's at that moment when she comes across a Kumogakure squad, which take up even more of her time.

Now, Kumo is not actually there for the main base of Akatsuki. In fact, Pain and co were pretty stringent with information leaving the village, so the world at large has no idea that Hanzo had been killed years ago and other formations similar to his have also been destroyed by Akatsuki, the very same terrorists famous worldwide. Everyone except for Iwa (which, after almost a decade of using Akatsuki's services, should have some sort of inkling as to where it's all coming from AND be aware not to stick their heads into the wasps nest, I think) presumes that Land of Rains is still completely war-torn (kinda right) even 17 years after the end of the last major war, and Amegakure is still the single most messiest all out battlefield for all sorts of local gangs and foreign ones too (in particular, Suna, Iwa and Konoha as major players, using the locals as pieces to fuck the other players over). Now, the specifics for each village are a bit different, as Iwa is actually quite aware of Akatsuki having a complete control over the village and de-facto the country; Konoha and Suna, being allies and sharing intel, both are aware that their operations in Ame have been cut pretty swiftly, which they presume to be Iwa's doing; Kumo has no idea regarding these things at all, so they are assuming everyone is still going at it; and Kiri being too busy with their own civil war.

So, why were these Kumo dudes passing by? Well, their goal was actually Land of Rivers and Land of Winds, to assess the events that had taken place there and get as much intel on Akatsuki as possible. Raigake already had the spies in Suna, but they are hiding amongst civilians, and there is only so much information that they have. Welp, too fucking bad that they decided to use Ame as a shortcut, because they walked straight into Akatsuki's lair. oopsie.

(none of them are going leave Ame. most of them are going to be sent to Jashin-sama directly, and the leader will be interrogated and later discarded)

Gods fucking knew the conversation with Zetsu made him fantasize of forcing these two through something similar.

Sidenote: Obito (and Deidei) are always using "gods" instead of the usual "god", that's due to the fact that both Japanese (which is pretty much the baseline for all cultures in Naruto world because Kishi couldn't be bothered making up something more distinct) and Chinese (which is what I am using as reference for Iwa's culture) cultures have systems of beliefs that have multiple gods or even spirits as these sort of higher entities. If you're seeing "god" somewhere, that's probably Google Docs successfully revolting against me and changing it to the more common phrase. I am currently unsure if I am going to be changing it when it comes to the other three major Nations (Kiri is certainly another case where people believe in numerous gods, as I imagine the culture in the Land of Water to be something closer to countries in Southeast Asia, like Indonesia or something; Land of Wind is something akin to Arabian peninsula and Land of Lightning to something North American/Western European).

But anyway, this phrase made me remember a meme I had in mind when I imagine the chain of command in Akatsuki

Not sure if this one ever reached the foreign internet, but it's a pretty famous one on the Russian-speaking side of things. Zetsu (and kinda Madara) screams at Obito, Obito screams at Pain and Konan, Pain and Konan scream at the active operatives in Akatsuki, and, finally, Akatsuki take everything out at everyone else

It was such a shame that the giddy satisfaction in his chest had to be extinguished by the loud voice shouting profanities in a distinctly eastern accent.

I think I've mentioned it somewhere, but I believe that people in different countries should have different accents. It's not so noticable with people who have been gone for years (pretty much every member of Akatsuki not named Konan and Pain), but Hidan's a recent hire, and he'd been at the organisation for less than three years, so he still has something remaining there. Also, "eastern" is because Land of Hot Springs is to the east of the continent.

though something strange within him, some weirdly familiar and old thing stirs in his stomach at the idea of who this voice belongs to and why its owner is in Deidara's vicinity now. The thing is whispering to him a number of possibilities, and none of them are to his liking

That's jealousy, buddy. Now, why is it familiar? Because that's the exact same feeling he experienced whenever Rin would be approached by Kakashi or any other guy Obito's kiddie brain would consider a rival for her love. Thankfully, at the time he could not tear them to shreds, and generally he had a much more sane mind. As for now, well... let's thank Madara and his plant pets for training Obito so well to not go on murderous rampages (even if he really wants to).

People in Akatsuki have various degrees of usefulness to him, and along with it they invoke different levels of disgust and irritation within Obito whenever he had to or wished to interact with them every once in a while.

Again, Hidan and Kakuzu are so absurdly funny when you remember the bullshit their bosses are up to. All of them are high off their own self-importance and how THEY are the ones to bring peace to the world that does not understand how important and vital their plan is, and how everyone should totally follow it to be happy. Then there're other guys at Akatsuki, who are also about the higher ideals and such.

And then there's Mr "I wanna murder a shit ton of people for my murder god"🤝Mr "I wanna murder shit ton of people for money. And their hearts to keep me strong and healthy"

I'm pretty sure this shit is giving Obito aneurism ahahahaha. He's the type of guy to hate everyone else's murderhoboness, while blissfully ignoring his own, because he's "justified" in it.

one of them just happened to stand now, arm pressed against the door frame as he lazily took up the way into the room, Akatsuki cloak gone, revealing his tanned upper body with barely visible remnants of scarring healing up

People in Akatsuki usually leave with their coats on, as, besides being the trademarked merchandise of the organization (c), they are actually pretty comfy. But Hidan's been dragging his ass through the village for half a day, so his got soaked in the rain, which is why he dropped it at his room and went up to shout his frustrations at Deidara.

Obito realizes it to be not the only thing disturbing the comforting icy wall separating him from the rest of this world. He is not used to this feeling, and the urgency it awakens in him, like something unacceptable will happen if he does not intervene this instant.

Jealousy again, but now with an added bonus - Obito's afraid Deidara'll find other men in her vicinity attractive! In particular, Uchiha "I shall not reveal my ankles until marriage" Obito fears Hidan's half-naked sigma aura. It's kind of a mix of his own body trauma from what he is, the years he had spent hidden away from others and his upbringing making him a prude to everything slightly sexual.

Mind you, at the moment neither Deidara nor Hidan are interested in that. Deidara's head is full of her failure and her helplessness, and Hidan's pissed at getting sent back to Ame from Kumo. Both of them want to wreck shit, and hard.

Becoming her partner should prove to be easier than trying to keep everything together while switching between a mask of an idiot and an old arrogant fool.

The old arrogant fool is Madara, btw :)

It is just a coincidence he happens to run into Deidara. There is no ulterior motive to this boy.

No one knows how old Tobi is, but off the vibes people generally assume he is in his late teens/early 20s, so he's in the same category as the three youngest of Akatsuki and the servants as the Tower, which is why it makes people a lot more laidback around him.

(don't mind Obito turning around and screaming at Konan and Nagato as the dang little shits that ruined his, Madara's plan)

Hidan, a shinobi barely fit to be a member of Akatsuki, notices nothing, even as Obito's mask nears the guy's left shoulder just about a palm's length away.

Hidan's is objectively the weakest member of Akatsuki. sorry. his qualifications is literally "can't be killed by Kakuzu" lol. which is why his senses are kinda duller compared to the professional killers trained by the Hidden villages

Ume, sitting by the wounded girl's side and cleaning away the utensils after an unsuccessful meal, judging by the tray of mostly untouched delicious-looking dishes

It's been mentioned here and there, but Deidei's current vulnerability is driving her paranoia to new levels. She's generally pretty distrustful due to her history, but her hatred of being perceived weak makes her hurt herself, as it can be seen from her barely eating, even with her arms gone. She refuses to rely on servants for that, she does not want to eat from other's hands, and Konan pretty much had to force her to accept food at some points (ultimately leading to the scandal she started, and after which she returned to her rooms). Also one of the reasons why Obito can feel her pelvic bones sticking out while he's battling his virginity and trying to mentally hype himself up for the main act, hehehehe

But why does something still remain restless and uneasy while Deidara is forced to stay here, unable to protect herself or even care for her body?

Helicopter hubby is at the scene ahahaha. Buddy just wants to stand guard at her door and sweet treats for good (and not so good) behavior.

Fist clutching by his side, Obito prepares his voice for the upcoming performance, trying to subtly straighten his back and spread his shoulders to make himself bigger in comparison to Hidan

*national geographic voice* and here you can see the interested male ruffling up his feathers in an attempt to look more attractive and get the female's attention away from another male

also shoutout to that fucking height difference between Tobi (175 cm) and Obito (182 cm). how does he do it? no clue. but I'll use it to fuel my headcanons that Tobi is slouching all the time to look less intimidating cuz he's bigger almost than any other Akatsuki not named Kakuzu or Kisame (who's absurd by any standard).

Tobi's now sad she doesn't like him, he really would have loved a funny chimp doing tricks for a pistachio or something... Oh, wait, but isn't that... Hidan-san?!

As far as I remember, chimps are one of the most terrifying apes there are. They are absolutely fucking vicious, and unpredictable. Don't mess around with the chimps, or they will fuck you up.

but the not-so-subtle glances Rumi was sending towards the prominent shapes of abs made him want to punch a hole through the stomach of this waste of a shinobi.

Yes, Obito's angry because women (or maybe just Deidara) apparently might like a male eye candy before them.

On that note, if you remember that Rumi has had a lot of boyfriends, well, she isn't exactly the type to say no to a good time. Simply put, she might have had a fling or two with Hidan.

if that wasn't for Deidara-chan being the dumbest little bitch..." Who the hell allowed you to address her like that? Am I not aware of something? Are these two closer than I presumed?

Hidan actually does adress Deidara by "-chan" in canon (when Deidei tries to warn them about Naruto). Besides a term of endearment, it's also a way for someone to address something weak or pathetic. Simply put, Hidan is insulting Deidara in that moment, just as he does here.

It's still a giant breach of social status to be suddenly switching to this, which is why Obito freaks out.

You'll be a very bad boy if you continue being so harsh on her. Some higher power might punish you for that!"

Obito's referring to himself here, of course

"You piece of fucking sanfan, I'll rip your tongue out!" Obito sharply whips his head around just in time to see Deidara almost knock the half-cleaned tray over for the second time

I think I already mentioned the Iwa-specific insults, and here Deidei's pissed enough to resort to them. This one is "shit" or something along these lines.

I also should really start putting down a vocab of Iwa insults to keep them consistent

An idea passes through him - of blue eyes behind heavy golden bangs giving the very same look to that crazed murderer, who was still young and somehow, through his god's blessing or some other bullshit, never paid a price in permanent scars for being a stupid useless weakling in Akatsuki - and it makes Obito want to growl.

Welcome to Obito's long list of insecurities, in particular his age in comparison to Deidara (let's be honest getting infatuated with someone a decade younger than you is probably one of the least bad things Obito did in his life) and his disfigurements (which Hidan does not have). Now, I am not actually sure how the fuck Hidan is not covered in scars head to toe (as the scar on his neck stays after Asuma cuts it off), so my guess is that he can not grow limbs and organs back, but his body can eventually recover it fully if they are sewn back for long enough time.

In any case, all the more reasons to torture Obito mentally😚😚😚😚

"And I am serious when I say I will not be dealing with anything if the final product will start to rot, or the brat never regains control of the chakra in that limb.

There's a bunch of complications that could have happened with Deidei's recovery there, because she (and even he in canon) lose arguably one of the most tools a shinobi can have - their hands. Now, obviously, the physical loss of arms is crippling for anyone, so the things that Kakuzu would have sewn onto her might have never responded to her brain's orders, becoming useless sticks of meat, or could have been outright rejected by her body (unlikely with her right one, as, well, that's literally her real arm, just in pieces); the next layer of issues is in the hand seals produced by shinobi's arms, and that kinda is connected to Deidara's unique issue - her hand mouths. All of it is connected to her chakra system reconnecting with the rest of her body, which should be resolvable with Kakuzu's threads jutsu, but still, complications are possible! And if there were to happen, Deidara might have lost the ability to outright use jutsu or just her art, which would have been devastating for her (and likely would have been the reason for her death, as Akatsuki have no real use for her if she is permanently crippled. now, Obito might have had some uses, but he would need to be very callous, assholish and crafty to pull this off)

"Madara, I understand that such... display is unacceptable, however allow me..."

Yippie! It's the thing! They said the thing!

Wow it took me a while to get there. Anyway, yes, the circumstances of this conversation were about as I planned before starting this fic. The scenes in Ame after Deidei's return did change a bit with the apperances and some order of events, but ultimately were as I planned.

What was not planned - at all! - was the entirety of chapter 11 aka the "death note mind tennis between Obito and Zetsu"! Yes, this one scene (more like a fucking 22k word chapter) occured completely naturally, as I was writing the fic and realized that Black aka Madara's mind copy would not let everything that Obito did slide, so there should be a confrontation of some sorts. The most important bit of this chapter - Obito's realization and the decision to join Akatsuki as Tobi - was supposed to take place somewhere around his conversation with the servant girls, while they would be discussing the vacancy in Akatsuki after Sasori's death and who should be the replacement. This is actually what they are discussing in chapter 10 before Obito interrupts them - I've decided to use that moment for him testing Tobi's lovestruck act, but the dialogue between the girls in that moment is a reference to what was originally supposed to happen before the entire Zetsu confrontation idea was concieved.

Also yes the entire "Nagato" dropping is a power thing, which is the exact same thing that Zetsu does to Obito. Remember the picture from above, folks🤣

"A lost boy had finally become a man and discovered his footing in this world, thus rejecting the advice of a foolish old man who had been guiding him on this path all these years.

I'm still laughing my ass off at this bit. Bro you are younger than Nagato, quit your yapping lmao

Pushing his ankle on top of his knee, Madara fully sits on top of what used to be Sasori's spot, palms pressed into the edges of the table.

Yeah, since the start of the meeting Obito has already taken his place according to the ring order, so everyone in that scene is sitting like they are members of Akatsuki

Three-Tails has just been recently reborn after the Fourth Mizukage had been killed..." it would seem like the rage of that day would never leave him, just as the bitterness of failure, of being too fucking late, and the agony of commiting the same mistake years before that, with her... but Obito pushes it all away, because he is Madara, and Madara knew nothing about any of that.

Unreliable narrator my beloved. Obviously, he knew everything about Rin's death

your best bet in the latter's case is to pray for Hashirama's granddaughter's stupidity and her not following the recommendations given to her by the elders' council."

Sorry, but I'm with the council of elders on this one. Naruto being the sole nuke of Konoha should really not be allowed to roam freely just cuz he feels like it, especially if one of his teachers is not there to keep him from doing stupid shit

The mistakes of the Kazekage capture mission shall not occur again, for from this moment onward, my eyes will watch you.

Obito's using "eyes" on purpose, because he doesn't want others to know he's only got one

His smile grows wider while he watches shadows dance within Konan's gaze, but then... it is almost as if something gives out within her.

Ohohoho, what did Konan think about here? Ohohohoh, I guess you'll need to read about it later, ohohohoh.

Ok, done with chapter 12, now onto chapter 13&14!

(which, as always, were intended to be one, but then things got out of hand)

the title

"Don't stick your fingers in your cake" is a vague and funny (in my opinion) way to describe the events of the porn scene that ultimately takes place, with Obito sticking his fingers in the juicy juicy cake he has finally received for all his suffering🤭it also mirrors the title of LTFG chapter 4 - "Ladies don't eat their cake with their hands" - where Deidara gets her cake, plays with it and even eats some of the cream🤭

"Wow, that was close... Thanks for not making a red splatter out of Tobi, Rumi-san!"

Is this a reference to Kannabi? Possibly :)

I've heard Kakuzu-san talking of something really scary like "interest rate"!

My uni forced me through so many economics courses that now I want to use Kakuzu as an excuse to drop the bullshit I had to study into the fics as a joke. A way to traumadump, if you will

She was not a threatening sight at the moment, dressed in a simple pair of black shorts and dark tank top, her body no longer littered with bruises and cuts, and her hair returning to a familiar style, but with the ponytail remaining low and messy, and numerous strands were scattered along her pale shoulders. 

I imagined the hairstyle Deidei is wearing at the time is something similar to the one we see during the recruitment flashback. I love it a lot, and I thought it would be something that would be both quick and easy for the servants to make (without getting on Deidara's nerves for too long)

Obito can't help but roll his eye at the white-haired woman's stuttering and awkward glances being sent everywhere that was not Deidara, who had pushed the chopsticks and the bowl away and grabbed something from the table, slowly clutching it in her hold and staring at the other two

So what does Deidei do in this scene? She's exercising her hand and the fingers in particular. She is learning how to use chopsticks again (not too successful) and kneading clay, both with her fingers and her hand mouth (also not really good). One of the reasons she had that argument with Konan - she really should not be trying to do any of that just yet, while everything is still healing together, but Deidei's feeling desperate about her own weakness

"I knew Konan-san was cold and unfeeling, but to make prisoners out of her own people! Ah, no, Tobi can't even imagine how horrible she is! Don't worry, Rumi-san, I am totally going to tell all of this to Pain-san–"

Two jokes in one Tobi phrase - one about Konan's true (seeming) nature, and the other with addressing Pain as equal when Tobi should really not be doing that

but his frustration quells as she swiftly collects the pretty bowls and utensils before grabbing the tray and bolting straight towards the door.

Deidara broke one of Konan's sets last chapter, and this one is also one of hers ahahaha. I mean, no one except her needs to eat among Akatsuki leaders at the Tower (Pain and Obito are kind of undead, and Zetsu just kinda wants to snack on human corpses, they don't actually need it), so she should be the one to buy dish sets

If Tobi'd been in your place, he'd be on cloud nine, no, ninety, if there were nice girls around him all the time!" If she is interested in Tobi, then, surely, a mention of other women would rile her up and make her talk about that incident, right?

Obito trying to reverse-psychology Deidei here, and fails because he's the only one between them two who's coping and seething whenever anything mildly male-shaped passes by his crus

Obito prefers not to think about Sasori - a useless waste of time for a useless piece of trash that died by his grandmother's hand, seemingly out of his own volition, based on Zetsu's report

Okay, so the logic is here as follows: Sasori willingly dies by Chiyo's hand -> Chiyo realizes this and tells this to Sakura -> post-Chiyo's death Sakura reports this to Sunakure -> Zetsu, stationed in Suna and Kiri in the timeskip after Obito returning Deidei to Ame, learns this -> Zetsu tells this info to Obito after their entire confrontation about Obito's loyalty and goals and thinking with his perverted dick

Overall, it would seem all of the rooms for the members of Akatsuki operating outside Land of Rain were designed and furnished by Konan, which is why this one did not differ much from the other one he had been to - Itachi and Kisame's 

Obito brings the medicine to Itachi's rooms directly, so he should have seen the general interior there

It is at that moment Obito realizes that another figurine is standing by his side, a bit farther than the clay mess - a paper scorpion.

It's the same one as in LTFG. Deidara sees it in chapter 1

Konan-san gave you a gift to cheer you up after Sasori-san kicked the bucket, but you don't seem to like it. Should she have made it look more like him? An old guy crawling around like a turtle?"

Obito does know Sasori's real appearance, but he should not show Deidara that Tobi knows it too, at least without a reason, which is why he's describing Hiruko here

"Yes, yours," Deidara emphasizes, glaring at him. "If you hadn't gotten in the way, I would have been fine. Nobody would be asking how I messed up so badly that weakling like you had to save me. Get it through your thick skull: I. did not. need. your help. Never did, and never will. Try playing a hero with me again, and you are not seeing the light of the next day, got it?"

In the original version of this paragraph I had a "Never did... and never will." A quick moment of hesitation on Deidei's part. But during editing I realized that it's prolly a bit too soon to have her having these sort of doubts, so I removed it, and now Deidei's is dead certain in her being right about this

The future is certain and clear.

This phrase is mirrored in the ending of chapter 14

"And for future, remember one important thing: I am the one who is always on top, hm. No exceptions.

So yeah, when I was mentioning how Deidei rides the guy she was with in LTFG? I was pretty serious🤭Tobi isn't getting to do anything in a more... well... active position until he proves himself worthy (and no one did that yet with Deidei)

"Unless you've secretly got some mysterious dojutsu that can make gals soak up their panties, you're doing a very shit job."

man do I love random references to Obito's Sharingan lol

But the reality greets him with something so mundane and yet unexpected. Still, somehow, it all comes together, and cements the reality of the situation: Deidara is truly fully revealed before him at her most intimate.

Personally, not a fan of unshaved look, both in men and women. But Obito is such a virgin he can easily take Konan's title as an Angel in that regard, and Deidei is on active duty for months, so I'm pretty sure neither of them is going be well-groomed, so to speak. Also, I'm pretty sure the time period doesn't even have this as some sort of common fashion fad, so unshaved it is.

Sometimes, Obito couldn't hold himself back, and he would tear his hand away from the awaiting loins, watching in fascination how strings of cooling slick formed between his pale digits.

I find it so bizarre that canon and even some fans draw Obito tanner than fucking Sasuke or Kakashi. My buddies, this guy literally had not felt the sun's touch in almost two decades, he is absolutely pure flour colored beneath there.

That's an actual thing that sometimes happens to hymen. Happens with girls in sports, and, if I remember correctly, really not that uncommon along horse riders lol.

Calm down, fool. It is not uncommon for kunoichi to get hurt and lose it by accident. You have read it in the books you have lent to Guruguru.

Deidei's been part of the military since, like, six, and on the run since she was eleven, so Obito's guess is not that crazy

(he's still coping and seething in reality lol)

And this might be the single hottest thing Obito had seen.

So, why is Obito so vehemently against being treated like a property when talking with Deidara, but reacts like this when she is actually using him? The answer is: he's fucking horny, and when he's horny, his dick is the one that does the thinking, not his brain. And his dick would really prefer if they got dominated by someone hot and pretty.

Aaaaand that's about it for the notes on FQTP! Thanks to everyone who was reading, now it is truly finished, and I can go onto other project! Until later!

[tjemegames]

HSR: HAPPY 1ST BIRTHDAY! 🥳🎉 - TJ's 1st Annual Playthrough Recap

The big day is finally here! One full year has passed since Honkai: Star Rail first launched and so much fun was had. I��m so pumped to officially be starting year two and I can’t wait to see what the Devs have in store for us. Until then, let’s chat about my experience over the last year:

⚠️ Extremely summarized spoilers ahead for the events/storylines of HSR versions 1.0-2.1. Read at your own discretion! ⚠️

Also, apologies in advance this post will be a bit verbose because I don’t know how to stop yapping about this game; we'll get into it all under the cut!

Stats Overview

Firstly, what can I say? I fell absolutely head over heels for this game on day one; I was initially a bit turned off by the combat mechanics when the teaser demos came out — I had a very limited experience with turn-based games at this point (shoutout Wizard101 💀) and was confused about how they were going about it. Suffice to say that my weariness was unnecessary because, as of today, I’ve logged 342 days of gameplay on my main account!

The Astral Express Annual Trailblaze Report (data collection as of 03/31/2024 at 23:59) had some great insight on the statistics of what I’ve done since launch:

My e6 Natasha and I were really doing the damn thing together for so long:

She’s since been replaced by Aventurine (because I was finally smart and pulled a premium sustain) but we had a good thing going for us. Thank you for paving the way, Dr. I won’t forget about all our struggles together.

Prominent Story Moments & My Thoughts on Storytelling

Once it was determined that combat wouldn’t be an issue for me, I immersed myself wholeheartedly into the lore and storytelling that was provided. I absolutely adored getting to know the Nameless better and exploring parts of the cosmos with the Astral Express Crew. We’ve done so much already:

Being coalesced into existence, fending off the Antimatter Legion’s relentless attack, and helping restoration efforts on the Herta Space Station

Becoming Herta’s guinea pig in the Simulated Universe

Dismantling a corrupt leader and freeing the under worlders in Belobog

Keeping the IPC from seizing the entirety of Belobog to pay off the backdated interest on their ancestor's 700-year-old unpaid debts

Foiling the war-motivated plots of an Emanator of Destruction on the Xianzhou Luofu

Business Simulator 1.0: Restoring Aurum Alley and making a grown man bark

Becoming the best Ghost-Hunting Content Creator on Ghostly Grove

Getting swallowed by a giant Swarm bug and being fender-bendered by a Knight of Beauty; having to duel him into acquaintance (because he’s just quirky like that) before witnessing him valiantly sacrifice himself for the Express, in the name of “Beauty” (because he’s also a little delulu), and then texting us once to see if we were okay after escaping through the hole he cut in the bug’s stomach. Subsequently, disappearing back into the cosmos without a trace (can you tell that I’m enamored by Argenti?)

Being drugged by Ruan Mei, having to deal with her experiments (I hate that synthetic bug with a burning passion) and becoming a Cat Cake extraordinaire.

Accepting the Charmony Festival invitation and having a “very heartwarming and uplifting” (aha aha-hA 😭) “vacation” in Penacony

And of course, so much more in between all of that but those were the things that stuck out the most to me.

I will say that I am in the camp of people who had to experience the Xianzhou storyline before it was streamlined for comprehension purposes and, as much as I loved it there, there were a lot of missed opportunities and wasted moments in that section of the storytelling. Not a huge fan of games trying to get me to care about something by forcing me into a nonsensical quest line during an ill-fitting moment, thereby muddying my understanding of what’s going on/what the importance of said thing is… But it is what it is, and they slapped a band aid on it for newer players. Hopefully, when we eventually return to the Luofu, they will have a better grip on what it is they want to portray there.

Overall, I’m not too fussed by the story so far. It’s been very enjoyable, extremely satisfying in some parts — a bit less so in others. One of the things that I love about sci-fi/fantasy is the ability to go all out and do pretty much anything you can think of because of the creative freedom that both genres allow. I think we’re just barely beginning to scratch the surface of what the series writers have planned for us.

Simulated Universe & Permanent Endgame Modes

Oh boy, I was almost home free in my drafting of this post when I remembered I hadn’t yet yapped about Simulated Universe, Memory of Chaos, & Pure Fiction. I am so sorry, I will try to keep it short, but I’ve got a lot of feelings about these permanent endgame modes.

Let’s kick it off with the SU. Back in the late summer of ’23 when we had our first bout of dry patches, I did more SU runs than I thought I ever would do because I didn’t want to stop playing the game. I was absolutely hooked, and I wanted to hone my skills prior to facing off against the next Echoes of War boss we would get. Within the first four months of launch, I think I had collected almost all the blessings, curios, and Aeon information that you could possibly get. Hell, there was even a day where I spent probably six hours just trying out all the different resonance paths against Gepard. It was so novel to me, and nothing like my previous experience with other rouge-like domains/dungeons – I just couldn’t get enough…

That was until they started patching in new updates. Swarm Disaster eviscerated all my excitement and desire for SU. I hate that bug; I hate that bug so very much. It’s only now that I have e2 DHIL that I don’t mind going back into Swarm and attempting to collect the rest of the rewards that have been sitting there waiting for me since its debut. The same kind of applies to Gold and Gears, although that mode is slowly starting to grow on me. I haven’t spent enough time in there playing around with all the different dice and strategies to have a definitive opinion on it. I’ll probably make some content of myself exploring the upper levels of G&G when I inevitably unlock them.

Now for the thing that would’ve really turned out to be an essay if I weren’t more capable of reining myself in; the curse that keeps on giving, MoC. Listen, I love this game. I love the combat and having to be a bit strategic, but sometimes floors 11-12 make me want to pull out the tiny bit of hair that my buzzed head tends to have. It took me 11 and a half months to 36 star the MoC for the first and only time that I’ve been able to do so. I’ve reset, changed teams, and fully rebuilt characters in attempt to beat floor 12 within 10 cycles more times than I can count. Sincerely, I wish we could’ve seen a year-end review of just the reset statistics alone. It is a source of infinite frustration for me, and it really shouldn’t be so goddamn difficult sometimes… Please Hoyo, just let me have my last star; I’m tired of sitting at 35/36 stars. There's only so much min-maxing a person can do before losing their mind.

Don’t think that I forgot about PF. Follow-up attackers’ paradise and what seemed like it would be a great time until I remembered that my only follow up attackers are Jing Yuan and an under leveled, mostly untouched Herta. This game mode is truly the one that got away for me. I’ve barely participated in it due to a lack of necessary characters. O7 to all the jades that I’ve missed out on. We’ll get there one day.

The Triumphs & Perils of Warping

What’s a gacha game without pulling? I’ve been keeping track of all my luck, both good and bad, since I started playing. This is what a year, 380 standard passes, and 1013 special passes got me:

Not a bad roster at all. There were a couple questionable choices made by me though. The lack of pulling a limited 5 star sustain until Aventurine came out being my biggest flop of them all. I did attempt to get Fu Xuan on her release banner, but I lost 50/50 and wasn’t willing to put everything I had into her at that time.

Out of all nine 50/50s I’ve had so far, I only lost three of them; I also pulled two of the following guarantees early after that so I’ve been a lot luckier than I thought I would be. My Genshin wishing experience sunk the bar for my pulling expectations well below ground, so everything feels like even more of a win here. I hope things continue to stay that way.

Another thing of note: I chose Bronya’s e1 from the standard banner selection reward once I hit the 300-warp requirement. I probably should’ve chosen Himeko for PF purposes but e1 was just too good to pass up for my hyper carry teams.

Also, Dr. Ratio gave himself to everyone (for free) in the pursuit of “curing idiocy” so that’s why I have him. Had I have been proactive in pulling his signature LC, I could be rocking a Ratiorine team right now – but no, instead he remains in Level 1 Purgatory with the rest of my unused characters.

Let us not forget about the light cones either:

I broke my one cardinal rule of avoiding weapon banners for this game, but I don’t regret it in the slightest — I did lose 75/25 to Sleep Like the Dead twice and then proceeded to get it a third time (from the standard banner), so I'm salty about that. Still no regrets though!

Final Thoughts

This game has been such a safe space of indulgence for me over the last year. It reminded me of my love for turn-based combat and strategy-based games. It has also helped me reinvigorate my creativity — this blog is proof of it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt so enthralled, inspired, and passionate, so I’m grateful to Hoyo and all the HSR Devs for bringing this game to life.

While there have been some low points from struggling with story bosses, tediously challenging endgame, and incohesive plot lines, I have mostly found great enjoyment in my traversal of the stars thus far. I can’t wait to see who else I’ll meet and where this journey among the cosmos will lead me. I also look forward to sharing even more of my adventures and insights with all of you in the years to come!

Happy Anniversary, Trailblazers! May the next year be fruitful and fulfilling. Don't forget to sign in and collect your 1600 jades!

[weishenbwi]

hello! i almost screamed when i saw you replied to my previous message for some reason (i’m not sure why i opted to leave my previous message anonymous if i was just going to use my account anyway. this is me btw!)

i’m glad to have said something of impact to you, and i’d like to assure you that your writing is most definitely worth reading💛(trust me!! i’ve read and reread) not just A Lesson Learned, but also some of the other stuff you’ve written that i’ve had the pleasure of reading.

i seriously find it so cool that you’re taking up book-binding and calligraphy. i, myself, actually had a calligraphy set given to me as a gift one time, although i wasn’t very motivated to use it and it’s unfortunately still collecting dust somewhere in my closet; so i hope you keep your spirits and hopes high so you can reach your calligraphic goals! your book-binding ones, too!

i wish you luck on your writing, but remember not to push yourself too hard!! write for yourself, not for others. i can’t wait to see what you come up with! stay safe and content! -🧵 (i’ve been trying to come up with a representative emoji for myself and that’s the one i found i like the most for some reason)

(also sorry if i’m writing too much. i’ve been told it gets annoying, but it’s a habit i can’t seem to break since i always have so much to say :)

Hello🧵! I've kept this message in my little pocket because it's really wholesome and pure. I honestly love it so much. Soo glad you came off anon! 🥺😏

Your compliments are so thoughtful, thank you. I didn't know how to react because I've been struggling with finding any inspiration for so long I almost considered 1980s Stephen King's method. Insomnia, Alcohol and Coke (Zero). 😂😳 /j

I wish I could say I decided to pick up these skills for my own benefit but my friend's birthday is around the same time as Jongdae's and he wants a Halloween//abandoned victorian house style party (which will just be us and our roommates if people don't get their shit together with this virus) and so the idea for creating a sort of wizard/witch set of spell books occurred. The gilding is... well gilding is hard as fuck. 😂😭 And I don't recommend it to people who don't have the proper machines (aka me). Gilded pages are beautiful though. Ah, and my friend is vegan so authentic leather-bound books that look like skin are out of the picture (but I did discover they do have vegan leather and that works just as well)! I sort of cut open and stitched them together with a thick black thread so you can imagine how that looks. 💀

As for Calligraphy, you should get it out and try something! If you celebrate Halloween or Christmas, you could do a set of DIY gifts with your own personal touch! I've tried for years to convince my family to do a DIY gift Christmas without any luck of course. I could go on about the birthday planning and decorations we'll keep up into November but I've already said so much. 👀

Your representative emoji is cute.🧵 Do you sew?

I did try and push myself and wrote 5000+ words before watching two autopsies and working on the bday stuff more. I made 50 of those Harry Potter floating candles (100 sticks of hot glue) using thin cardboard until I realized that perhaps if I'm going to spend this much time on them, I should use something a little more long-lasting. 🕯️ So I need to get some pvc pipes. 👀

Nooo I love when people write a lot. 🥺 I easily fall into saying too much (as you can tell) but I absolutely adore your message, your username, and profile image. That entire photoshoot was peak Virgo Jongdae and I'm here for it. 💙♍