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Doctor's In - Part 8
Summary: It's Thanksgiving, your first official holiday with Wanda. Someone stops by to create a little havoc.
Wanda Maximoff x F!R
All the houses look the same, at least to him. The navigation system in his rental car isn’t any better.
Or maybe his sister gave him a fake address just to mess with him.
After a while, he decides it’s enough, pulling over when he sees someone jogging around the neighborhood.
“Excuse me”
“Hey” the woman says, stopping. Her smile is wide, and Pietro’s taken aback by how friendly she seems with a stranger.
“I’m looking for an address, can you help me out?”
“Sure”
“It’s Hill Drive 216”
“Right, well all you have to do is drive straight ahead for five blocks. Then turn right and then left” the woman says, leaning over the car window. As she’s giving directions, he can’t help but stare at her toned legs in full display.
“I really appreciate it. Maybe I can buy you some coffee to thank you?”
“Sure. See ya around” she says with a smirk, running in the opposite direction. Pietro didn’t get her number, but he figures she might know Wanda. So they’ll meet again.
In no time, he finds Wanda’s house. The woman is already sitting in the porch, as if she can feel her twin brother coming.
“This was supposed to be a surprise. You don’t look surprised”
“You asked my neighbor for my address. She called to know if you were a creep so she’d call the cops on you”
“What? She was so nice. And she’s very hot. You should have told me you had hot neighbors”
Wanda gives him a cryptic smile, but he doesn’t have time to ask the meaning behind it, as Tommy and Billy come running down the stairs.
“Uncle Pietro!”
“Bratan” he says, allowing the boys to tackle him to the ground. “You’re so big! What is your mom feeding you two?”
The boys laugh, pulling him inside so they can tell him all about school, soccer and their videogames.
A half hour later, there’s a knock at the door.
“I’ll get it” he volunteers. To his surprise, the girl he spoke to earlier is on the other side. She’s now wearing jeans and a long sleeved sweater.
“Hey, Pietro”
“I didn’t… tell you my name”
But before he can connect the dots, Wanda walks past him, standing on her toes to kiss the woman.
“Hey, baby. Apparently you already met Pietro”
“Oh, yeah. Heard he was hoping to get a hot date out of some simple directions”
At that, his sister and her girlfriend let out a laugh, and he groans, hiding his face in his hands.
—
It was totally worth it, to see Pietro’s face as realization hit him. You were Wanda’s girlfriend.
He looks shocked, and embarrassed as you walk past him, Wanda’s hand in yours.
“At least the Maximoffs have consistency in their taste” you comment, making Wanda laugh and Pietro blushes.
“She never sent me a picture of you, ok? How was I to know?”
“I didn’t send it because I knew you’d fall for her and she is all mine” Wanda rolls her eyes, arms around your waist. You kiss her temple, smiling.
“Are you staying for Thanksgiving?” you ask, curious about his plans for the holidays.
“That’s the idea”
“You’re little buddy Rogers isn’t joining us?” you glare, so he knows you know what he tried to do.
“Oh, yeah. Heard you felt threatened by him. Still jealous, Y/N?”
“Jealous? I’m a Trauma surgeon, for goodness sake. What is your job, by the way? Snowboarding? Or do you call it snow? You know, like Ken in the Barbie movie”
“It gets me all the girl’s phone numbers” he arches an eyebrow.
“You certainly didn’t get mine”
“Stop it” Wanda laughs it off to ease the tension, standing between you two. “It’s Thanksgiving. The holidays. A time to forgive and enjoy”
“Fine,” he agrees. “Truce?”
“Not until you take the kids for a movie so we have an afternoon to ourselves” you say, because now that you’re back to work it’s been harder to get alone time with your girlfriend.
“Alright”
—
“It’s very important to me” Wanda says, stuttering lightly as you kiss down her neck.
“Of course, baby” you say, holding her hips as she tries to continue the conversation. She’s saying something against your lips, so you roll her nipple between your fingers, which makes her quiet for a few minutes.
Then, you’re between her legs when she starts talking again.
“He’s my brother, we’ve known each other our whole lives. I really want him to get to know you”
“Wanda” you sigh, defeated. You look up, with a smile at her disheveled state. “Can we not talk about your brother when I’m eating you out?”
“Sorry”
You kiss her thighs, going up to lie next to her.
“Or am I that bad at giving you head these days, baby?”
“It’s not that” she rushes to say, straddling your lap. Wanda pecks your lips to appease you, hands going up and down your arms. You squeeze her hips, encouraging her to continue. “But I mean it, I want you to get along”
“I was joking before. Mostly”
“Y/N” she whines and you smile.
“Ok, I just feel… the last time we almost broke up because he was trying to test me using Steve, right? I’m a bit butthurt about it, you know I’m proud and petty like that. And I’m not… I’ve never met someone’s family. I told you I’m not good with this relationship stuff”
“All you have to do is try” she says, leaning down to kiss you. “And absolutely nothing will break us apart, my love”
“Promise?”
“Swear” she says against your lips. You kiss her again, hands going down to her ass.
“Can I carry on now or would you like to talk about more family members?”
“Carry on” Wanda giggles when you flip her on her back, but those turn to moans pretty soon, feeling how your tongue works through her folds.
—
“Ok, guys, just like we practiced” Pietro says as he parks in the street, looking at the twins. They nod, staying inside the car while their uncle walks to the door.
“Hey, sestra… ah, seriously?!”
All he sees as he walks in is his sister’s head thrown back on the couch, and he can guess where you are.
“I thought you locked the door” Wanda reprimands you, but you just smirk, getting dressed. You make sure that only Pietro is within earshot when you smack Wanda’s ass, and she yelps.
The man is glaring when Wanda opens the door, her hair a mess and your shirt all wrinkled.
“Where are the kids? Why are they waiting in the car?”
In that moment, the twins open the car door, and you can see they are carrying a small, white dog. You want to cackle, because Pietro is so dead. But you keep a neutral expression, staying behind Wanda.
“You idiot” Wanda says, followed by a string of curses in Sokovian. You’ve never seen her this upset and it’s kinda hot.
“Come on, kids. Let’s go back to my place and bathe this little dude”
“No, please don’t leave me alone with her” Pietro pleads as Wanda pulls him by the ear.
“Sorry, I don’t want to be a witness to whatever it is she’ll do to you” you give him finger guns, hurrying back to take the kids to your place. It’s pretty obvious Wanda won’t appreciate you using her bathtub to take care of the pup.
“So, wanna tell me what happened?” you say once you’re in the bathroom.
“Well, we found Sparky outside the cinema. He was looking for food in the garbage and was so sad and alone”
“Do you think Mom will let us keep him?” Tommy says.
“Let’s take him to the vet tomorrow. Maybe he escaped home and his owners are looking for him”
The boys remain silent as you rinse the soap from Sparky’s fur. Of course, he shakes as soon as you’re done, drops of water flying everywhere. Billy and Tommy laugh, which makes you smile.
They had never brought up the subject of pets, but you have a feeling that it’s because Wanda had told them that the answer was going to be no, no matter what.
You use an old t-shirt and your blow dryer to get him all fluffy. He is a cute dog, that’s for sure.
“Come on, let’s get back home” you tell the kids, letting Tommy carry Sparky.
Pietro is in the porch, hand on his cheek as he sulks around the stairs. His ear is so red from all the pulling that Wanda did and you almost want to laugh.
“She won’t talk to me” he mumbles like a grumpy teenager.
“Jeez, I wonder why”
You walk inside, going straight to Wanda’s room. Still, you knock and let her know it’s you.
“Hey, love. Woah” as soon as you open the door she’s hugging you, and you don’t know if her tears are from anger or sadness. “I’m here, what’s wrong?”
“Pietro is so… immature! Why would he think it’s a good idea to bring a dog into my home? He is always like this. Now, I’ll have to tell the kids we can’t keep him and they will hate me”
“Wanda, they won’t hate you. Breathe for me” you run your hands up and down her back. “Here’s what we’ll do. Tomorrow I will drive with the kids to the vet, they’ll check for a microchip or anything else that tells us if he has a family”
“They always wanted a pet and I just couldn’t do it, it was too much work for one person and I…”
“And you are not alone anymore, ok? You have me. And as it happens, my family’s always had dogs. Don’t stress, leave it to me” you say, kissing her temple.
“Thank you. I’m staying here. Can you make sure the kids have dinner?”
“Of course, baby”
You make a couple of sandwiches and let the kids eat in the living room, while Sparky walks around and smells everything. It’s a good sign that he’s not peeing in every surface of the house.
Once the kids have dinner, you take the dog to the backyard, noticing the wooden fence needs some work, or Sparky will be able to escape.
Another thing on your list.
“Is Mom mad at us?” Billy asks when you’re upstairs, tucking them in. Sparky is in the corner, sleeping between Tommy’s shoes.
“Not at all, kiddo. She’s just not sure we can take care of Sparky. Dogs can be a lot of work, ya know?”
“Did you have dogs?” Tommy says from his bed and you nod.
“Yeah, we had all kinds of dogs. Big ones, small like Sparky. You have to walk them, feed them, take them to the doctor…”
“Maybe it is a lot of work” Billy says, dropping his shoulders.
“Hey, no worries, we will figure it out. Just make sure you’re nice to your mom. She just wants the best for everyone. Rest now. And Sparky doesn’t sleep on anyone’s bed, got it?”
The kids giggle at that, and you roll your eyes, knowing they’ll probably break that rule.
—
“We’re home” you announce.
“How did it go?” Wanda says, while Pietro is in the living room, pretending to read.
“No microchip. But he did get blood work and everything seems fine, we also got him dewormed and he can start with vaccination in two weeks”
“You know a lot about dogs” Pietro says, but shuts his mouth the minute Wanda turns to glare.
“So, yeah. We could call a shelter and ask if they can take him”
“But he would be in one of those cages, alone” Wanda says, sounding sad.
“I guess”
“Let’s just keep him until we figure something out” she decides, looking as the kids play with the dog in the front yard.
“Yeah, ok. We got him some kibble, plates, a new leash and a bed, so he’s all set. I’ll just have to fix the fence”
“Oh? Will you wear your tool belt?” she says, biting her lip. Pietro gags from his place in the couch. Wanda turns to scold him. “Keep it up and you’re staying in a hotel”
“Bossy. And mean. I love it” you say, pulling her closer. You share a quick, but passionate kiss.
“I could fix the fence” Pietro offers.
“You don’t even know how to drive a nail,” Wanda argues.
“I’m trying to do something nice, sestra”
“You’ve done enough”
They begin to argue like a couple of teenagers so you have to step between them, raising your hands.
“Enough. Pietro can help me when I fix the fence. We all win. Isn’t that great? Two of your favorite people working together” you say.
“Only one” Wanda says and Pietro is ready to fight when you snap your fingers.
“To your corner, Pietro” you warn him, dragging Wanda to the kitchen. “Hey, gorgeous”
“Mmm?” she melts when you rub that spot in her lower back that always relaxes her.
“I don’t think Pietro meant to do any harm with this. At most, he thought you’d end up loving Sparky more than me” Wanda laughs, and she leans against you. “He’s visiting and you’re always talking about how much you miss him, so try to forgive him”
“You’re right”
“You sound surprised,” you joke, kissing her softly. “I have work. I’ll be back tomorrow, ok?”
“Don’t leave. I know nothing about dogs” she pleads.
“I’m always one call away, love of my life” you promise.
—
Five missed calls. You sigh when you leave the OR, though it is from an unknown number.
Before you can return the call or contact Wanda to make sure she’s fine, Darcy finds you, dragging you by the hand without any explanation.
“Does this belong to you?” she says, pulling the curtain to reveal Pietro, holding an ice pack against his right hand.
“It belongs to my girlfriend”
“It? Seriously?” he complains, but Darcy ignores him.
“Came in with hammered fingers and cries every time I try to examine him”
“I will take a look. Thanks, pal” you force him to remove the ice pack, ignoring his protests. “What happened?”
“I tried to fix the fence”
“Mhm” you bend his fingers and move them around, trying to check if there’s a fracture. He complains and tries to jank his hand back, but you don’t let him.
“Can’t you take some X-Rays?”
Now, where’s the fun in that?
“Honestly, I think you’ll just have some swelling and pain. Let’s put a bandage in those three fingers and make sure you don’t move them too much”
“At least Wanda’s less mad at me”
You smile.
“Glad to hear it. Did she drive you here?”
“No, I wasn't in the mood to be lectured. I just told her I needed something from the hardware store and came straight to the ER”
You nod, writing a prescription for him. Once you’re done, you take the hand, bandaging the three fingers together.
“You know, I just worry” he interrupts the silence.
“About what?”
“Well, has she ever told you about the twins’ father?”
You glance back at him, arching an eyebrow.
“No, and I respect that. If she ever feels like telling me, I’m sure she will. So I’d appreciate it if we keep it at that, Pietro”
“I’ll just say, he was the biggest asshole. And it almost destroyed her. I promised myself no one would hurt her again”
You nod, still working in silence. Of course, the shovel talk. After the stunt he pulled with Rogers, this is nothing, really. Going along and nodding a few times might just do the trick.
“To be fair, I never liked him. You’re fine, I guess”
“I can live with being just fine in the eyes of Frosty the snowman” you mutter, finishing the bandaging and giving him some pills. “Now go back home and let me take care of the fence when I’m there”
An ambulance parks right outside of the ER and you excuse yourself. You don’t notice Pietro hanging back, watching as you help the paramedics move a woman from their gurney to a hospital bed.
It isn’t until a few hours later when you’re out of the OR and see a text from Wanda that you remember the incident.
Wanda: Thank you for checking Pietro.
Y/N: Happy to help the evil twin, love.
Wanda: What would that make me? The good twin?
Y/N: The hot, beautiful, angel twin.
The sound of your pager snaps you back to reality, which means the last hours of your shift will be busy.
—
“I should go and help”
“Please, don’t”
Wanda and Pietro are sitting in the backyard’s deck, watching as you fix the fence.
“Did you get Sparky as a test? To see how she’d react?”
“That is actually a great idea but no” Pietro laughs, stretching his arms. “I can’t believe you don’t remember”
“Remember what?”
“We were at school, back in Sokovia when we were five or six. The teacher asked us to draw our pet, but we didn’t have one so…”
“So you drew a dragon and said you wanted one for our birthday” Wanda suddenly remembers, frowning. “But what did I draw?”
“A white dog, with a very pink nose and fuzzy hair. And when we were at the theater, I saw him and thought, that’s my sister’s dog”
Wanda laughs, trying not to cry at her brother’s antics, wiping the corner of her eyes before she gets emotional. She reaches for his hand and he squeezes it, smiling.
“Why haven’t you told her about how you had the twins?” Pietro asks after a while, his voice soft.
“Because… I’m afraid she’ll see me differently. And I don’t know if it’s worth it, dwelling in the past. It’s done and nothing can change it”
“It’s not about dwelling in the past, it’s about sharing everything that makes you who you are. And that’s a big part of it” Pietro insists, standing up when the boys show up with Sparky. “We’re going to the park. See you for dinner”
Wanda stays on the deck, watching as you finish replacing the last wooden panel.
“I am so ready for a shower and a nap” you sigh, plopping down next to her. “At least Sparky can be out safely now”
“How can I pay for your very hard work?” Wanda says, and your hand squeezes her thigh.
“I can think of a few ways, Mrs. Maximoff. But when I’m not all sweaty”
“You’ll have to leave the toolbelt on, though” she says, making you laugh as you kiss the spot behind her ear.
You enjoy the breeze as you sit together on the deck, drinking a beer while Wanda looks out her yard.
“If I told you something, would you promise not to judge me?”
“I would never, my love” you say, putting a strand of hair behind her ear gently. “What is it?”
“It’s about the twins”
“Uh. Did Pietro put you up for this?” you click your tongue. “You don’t have to tell me anything; whatever the situation is, I imagine it’s not easy”
“I think… It would help explain why he’s so protective of me. And I want you to know, I do”
“Alright, then. I’m listening”
It takes her a moment to gather her thoughts, looking at her clasped hands.
“We met in college” she begins. “I was 20 and he was on an exchange program. Came from Oxford University, I think. We were in different faculties but somehow crossed paths at a party and got talking. It was the first time I was in love”
“He was elegant and acted like a gentleman, and said funny things without being crass. He acted differently than the rest of guys I ever tried to date. So we were together the whole semester, until winter break came. I was considering inviting him over to spend Christmas with us when he got an unexpected visit from his fiance”
You breathe deeply, knowing where this is going. Wanda still won’t look at you, and she takes a moment to continue.
“Uhm. So, yeah. The minute I saw them together I wanted to scream, but all I could do was hide. I felt like such an idiot. He didn’t even try to find me and apologize. And for a few weeks I was… sick. I threw up every morning, and felt tired. But I thought it was stress”
“Wanda, I’m so sorry” you say, pulling her close and kissing her temple. She leans against you, letting your touch ground her. Wanda’s hand goes to hold your own, and you squeeze it, trying to show your support.
“When I realized what it was, I tried talking to him. I thought he at least deserved to know. But he just wanted to give me some money to deal with it, in his words”
Those words make your heart ache, but you grit your teeth. You admire Pietro’s self control more than ever.
“I’m gonna need you to give me a name so I can find him and kill him”
“I let that go, for my sake. I had two babies to care for. No matter how it happened, I knew I always wanted them. So I told my parents everything and then Pietro, well…”
“He went crazy, I can imagine. Can’t really blame him”
“So, now you know it all. I still have things to figure out, because sometimes the kids ask me about their father and I don’t know how to tell them he never cared about us” she sighs, leaning against you.
“We’ll figure it out together, when the time comes” you promise, kissing her cheek. “And you don’t have to be afraid of me judging you, you did nothing wrong, Wands. I’m so sorry you had to go through that”
“I just thought… I wanted you to know”
“Did you ever see him again? I mean, does he even know their names?”
“No, and I hope it stays that way. If he comes back, I don’t want him anywhere near Tommy and Billy” her voice shakes with emotion, and a bit of her accent comes back.
“That’s ok. We won’t let it happen” you promise, kissing her temple.
“I love you”
“I love you too. And our boys”
“And our dog” she says, which makes you look back at her. She smiles at your shocked expression. “We’re keeping Sparky. No further comment”
“Yes, Ma’am”
—
The twins couldn’t believe it when Wanda told them they could keep Sparky. Pietro smiled as the kids hugged their mother, promising to always take care of him.
“You’re the best mom ever!” Tommy says, running around the living room.
“You’re welcome” Pietro mocks as he walks past her, and she elbows him.
You spend the evening watching a movie in the living room, Sparky sitting between both boys.
The 36 hour shift, coupled with the work on the backyard leaves you exhausted, so 15 minutes into the movie you begin to fall asleep.
“Come on, sweetheart” Wanda says when your head keeps loling to the side. “You need to rest”
“No, but I wanna know what happens with Big Welder” you mumble. Wanda stands up, kissing your forehead and pulling you all the way to the stairs. After brushing your teeth and almost sleeping while standing up, you plop down in bed, taking everything off and deciding to sleep in nothing but your underwear.
“Very tempting” Wanda comments when she sees you.
“I thought you’d be watching the movie” you stretch, appreciating how Wanda’s eyes linger on your breasts.
“Uh, they started playing video games. So that was my cue to go” she crawls into bed with you, not ready to go to sleep but wanting to share some alone time. “Before I forget, who are you inviting for Thanksgiving?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, dinner. We’re having turkey, the Barton’s are stopping by…. You do know it’s this Thursday, right?”
“I haven’t had a Thanksgiving dinner in like 15 years”
“You’re kidding” Wanda says, and you shrug your shoulders.
“I started volunteering when I was 16 to avoid being home. And you know I rarely went back for that stuff. I think the most I’ve done is eat pizza with Darcy while we’re working”
“Well, Darcy should come too! Have her over, I only get to see her at the hospital”
“You sure?” you say, smiling nervously. All you know about holidays in the last decade has been the chaos of a hospital.
“Yeah. It’s gonna be great, you’ll love it” she promises, kissing you.
—
Chaos isn’t exclusive to the ER, it seems. You’ve had a busy morning, mowing the lawn, cleaning the deck and getting ready to set a large table for everyone who’s joining. To your annoyance, Pietro is using his bruised hand as an excuse to not help.
“You’re doing great” he gives you a thumbs up and you want to throw the broom straight to his head.
“You could help your sister in the kitchen” you say, wiping the sweat from your forehead and coming to look over his shoulder. “Tinder? Seriously?”
“Yeah, check this out” he says, showing you some of the matches he’s had.
“Oh, wow” you whistle at a picture of a blonde woman in a bikini. You’re about to comment something else when you hear a cough behind you. Of course, Wanda is staring, her signature head tilt letting you know you’re in danger.
“I mean, oh, wow, what a horrible, unattractive person. Blegh. So not my type” you say, pretending to gag.
“I’m only letting it slide because it’s Thanksgiving” she warns and you nod.
“Yes, love. I’m sorry”
Pietro snorts and you turn to slap the back of his head.
“Sestra, are you gonna let her do that to your brother?”
“Yes” Wanda says, leaning forward to snatch his phone. “Come help me in the kitchen. Now”
“You know, I’m twelve minutes older” he says as they go back inside.
Once you’re done with mowing and picking up the dry leaves, you set a table across the backyard and some lights for extra decoration. Hoping the kids won’t look, you set up a trampoline you know they’ve been asking for.
“Alright, come supervise” you ask Wanda, and for some reason the entire Maximoff entourage follows behind.
“It looks amazing!” she says, inspecting the lights you installed. “I love these”
“I know. I may have stalked your Pinterest board, @witchy16”
“Billy, look!” Tommy points at the trampoline, running to try it out, his brother close behind.
“Be careful” Wanda warns. “I’m not sure I love that”
“They can use it only when I’m around” you promise, turning to her. “That way I can get more alone time with my girl”
Wanda laughs, but the sound is drowned out by your lips on hers, and your hands travel south to squeeze her ass.
“I’m right here!” Pietro complains, which makes you smirk.
“I didn’t see you, sorry” Wanda says.
“I did” you smile, earning a slap on the shoulder from your girlfriend. Something pings in the kitchen, so she excuses herself.
“You know, we usually save the presents for last”
“What presents? This isn’t Christmas” you say.
“People give each other presents during Thanksgiving too. Isn’t it obvious? How do you give thanks to someone? You get them something” he insists, which makes you doubt yourself. Pietro leaves to join the twins on the trampoline.
Maybe he’s right. What if Wanda got you something and after everything she’s done to make sure you enjoy this holiday, you have nothing to give back.
Fuck.
“Hey, sweetheart. Are you done in the backyard?” Wanda says when you walk in.
“I… yeah. Do you want me to do anything else?”
“No, that’s fine. I’m just letting everything in the oven for now. Come sit”
“Actually… I need to go check something” you lie, feeling awful about it. But you have to get her a present.
“At the hospital?”
“Yes. I won’t take long, I promise” you say when she looks disappointed. “I’ll be back in an hour and I’ll help with whatever’s missing”
“I just want us to spend time together,” she smiles, taking your hands. You lean forward, kissing her. “Oh, and call Darcy, I just want to confirm she’s coming”
“Yes, my love”
Pretending to be super calm, you walk to your car. You only let panic take over when you’re driving around, finding the traffic to be awful. Seems like people always leave everything for the last minute, and you hate yourself for not thinking about this sooner.
You can’t let Wanda down.
Darcy’s the only person who can help out, so you call her while you try to find a place to park.
“Hello”
“Hey. Wanda wanted to confirm you’re coming to dinner”
“I am, only for the amazing food. But the hospital will page me if there’s an emergency so don’t expect me to stay for long”
“Got it. By the way, did uh, your family happen to give each other presents during Thanksgiving?”
“No, they only get drunk and yell at each other. Why? Do I have to bring a present? Because then I’m out”
“No, that was just me being stupid, never mind. See you at seven”
You hang up, leaving the car to walk around the shops. Most of them are closed, because of course, it’s a holiday. The only places still working are supermarkets. So, what? Will you have to get your perfect girlfriend toilet paper and say “happy holidays”?
After walking down several blocks, you finally find a jewelry store open.
“Welcome. How can I help you?” a woman says.
“Hi. I can’t believe you’re open at this time of day” you comment, looking around the store. Wanda never really wears bracelets, or earrings. Necklaces, yes. Though they’re always very discreet.
“You wouldn’t believe the amount of people who have to buy a peace offering for the holidays”
“Huh”
“Or last minute engagements”
“Oh. That’s definitely not the case” you smile, and something behind the woman catches your eye. “That’s a nice pearl necklace”
The woman puts on her sales hat, telling you every detail about the very elegant, very real pearls and how it is an absolute must for any woman. It honestly doesn’t take a lot of convincing. It’s beautiful and you remember how Wanda mentioned she always wanted one, but considered it a bit of a silly expense with two kids and no real use for it.
“I’ll take it”
“You don’t want to look at the price?”
“I imagine it’s those four figures there”
“Yes”
“Yeah. That’s fine. I’m a trauma surgeon” you explain with a smile, feeling a little smug.
“She’s a lucky lady”
You don’t really agree, considering this is very last minute. For the twins, you decide to take some of the Christmas presents you started to buy for them and store at your house.
And as much as Pietro annoys you, you’ll have to get him something too.
Looking at the time, you decide to keep shopping for a bit longer, hoping no one notices if you’re gone too long.
Wanda definitely notices. By the time you come back home, you’re sneaking around with a few boxes but she comes out of the kitchen.
“Where have you been?”
Her tone makes you jump, and you look at her with wide eyes.
“I…”
“Doesn’t matter. I need you to go to the supermarket and get me some boxes of mac and cheese for all the kids. And a few bottles of wine, in case Laura and Clint stay longer”
“Ok” you say, wishing she had called you since you were around the supermarket not long ago.
By the time you finish all her errands, it’s four and you’ll only have an hour or two to rest.
“Hey, here’s everything you asked for” you greet with a smile, hoping Wanda is less stressed now.
“Oh, thank you, sweetheart. I think the Bartons aren’t even staying for dinner so I made you go for no reason, I’m sorry”
“It’s ok” you say, putting your arms around her. “What’s wrong?”
“I want this to be perfect. For you to know that having a family is nice so you won’t…” she trails off, trying not to look at you.
“So I won’t, what?”
“So you won’t leave. It’s silly”
“Hey, I’d never leave… sorry” you grumble, looking at your phone and ignoring the call.
“If you need to pick up...”
“It’s just my landlord asking about the lease renewal” you roll your eyes which makes her laugh. “As I was saying, I don’t need a perfect Thanksgiving as a reason to stay. I love you. That’s it”
“I love you too” she smiles, leaning forward to kiss you. With your hands on her cheeks, you deepen the kiss, enjoying how she sighs against your lips when your tongue darts out. Then, your hands travel south to squeeze her ass, encouraging her to put her legs around your waist.
“Hey, can we…? Ugh, not again” Pietro says, covering his eyes. “We’re thirsty”
Without dropping Wanda, you go through the stuff in the fridge and hand him some drinks.
“We’ll be upstairs, don’t go up in… 20 minutes” you say, making Wanda giggle.
“You guys are gross,” Pietro complains, crashing against the table as he keeps his eyes closed.
“Come on, let’s make those 20 minutes count” you say, carrying Wanda to the bedroom.
—
The Bartons arrive at 7, just like Wanda told them to. Sparky is the main attraction, as all the kids coo and aw at the funky little dog that loves all the attention.
“Pietro, nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you” Laura says.
“Only good things, I hope”
“That must have been a short conversation” you laugh at your own joke, while Pietro glares.
The kids run around the yard as Laura and Wanda chat, Clint handing over Nathaniel to you while Pietro talks about his job.
Darcy shows up a little later, and you make your rounds, introducing her to everyone that hasn’t met her yet.
“You again” she says when her eyes land on Pietro.
“What? You’ve heard a lot about me too?”
“Yeah, mostly bad shit”
“Bad word” all the kids turn to point at her, and she facepalms.
“Fuck”
“Two bad words!” Cooper says. Laura covers Lila’s ears, though she is laughing. You clasp your hands over Darcy‘s mouth because you know she can keep going forever.
“Kids, have you tried going on our brand new trampoline? You can take Sparky with you” that gets them distracted enough, running away to the backyard. “There. Don’t worry, it took me a minute to get used to the no swearing”
“This is why I don’t hang out at PG-13 events. Anyways, I brought some stuff to make pumpkin cocktails and guacamole. Help yourselves” Darcy says, holding a bag of tortilla chips.
“Nobody eats guacamole at Thanksgiving” Pietro says.
“They do if they’re Mexican. We can pretend. I’ll call you Pedro all night long” Darcy says just to annoy him. “Plus, this is all I can make”
“Are all surgeons bad cooks?” Wanda teases, and you’re dumb enough to answer honestly.
“Not all! Carol is actually a great… huh” you scratch the back of your neck at Wanda’s glare.
“Someone’s in trouble,” Pietro guesses.
“Yeah” Wanda tilts her head, making you smile weakly.
“I’m making cocktails” Darcy interrupts everyone, dragging you to the kitchen. For a while, you talk about some patients that arrived during the day, but it was still a strangely calm shift at the hospital. It was usually busy during dinner or after that some people got injured, while driving back home.
“Take this to Wanda, that will make her forget that Carol comment”
Approaching slowly, you put the drink in front of your girlfriend, who takes a sip and then coughs.
“Wow, what is this?” she laughs, the alcohol strong enough to knock her off her feet.
“A fire hazard” Clint comments, able to smell it across the table. Still, Wanda sips on the drink and nods, enjoying the taste.
“Go easy, Miss Maximoff” you joke, which makes her smile.
“I still remember why I’m mad at you”
“Then forget what I said, take these like tequila shots”
“Carol is an ex,” Pietro says, putting together the information.
“As in Carol Danvers? Nice” Clint comments, earning a slap on the arm by Laura.
“Thread carefully”
“Ah, jeez. Look what you made me do” Clint laughs, looking at you.
“Pumpkin cocktail for Laura coming right up”
“I’ll bring it, I have to check the turkey” Wanda says, slightly slurring her words.
“If you go anywhere near the oven, leave that thing here” Clint points out, not wanting to put out fires on his day off.
You take Wanda’s place, sipping casually on the rest of her drink. Everyone stares as you don’t even make a face to the amount of alcohol on it.
“We’ve known each other since college” you explain. ”So this is just like drinking water”
While you keep chatting in the backyard, Darcy and Wanda are both in the kitchen, your friend making herself a drink while Wanda turns off the oven to get the turkey ready.
“Want another cocktail?” she says, pushing a glass towards Wanda. The woman grabs it, sipping again. The sweet taste of the pumpkin hides a bit of the alcohol, so the punch isn’t hitting quite yet.
“Listen, I know your brother already gave my friend the shovel talk”
“Really? When?” Wanda says, a little too loudly.
”Back in the hospital. And I had to hold off on mine because you were always in my territory and I didn’t want to seem like a bully. However, now is the time to tell you… she’s my best friend, has been since college. Life hasn’t been particularly fair and her mother certainly didn’t help, though I’m sure she’s made it seem like no big deal, but Y/N really does deserve someone nice and kind. So don’t break her heart. Under any circumstance”
“I’m not planning to, Daisy” Wanda nods her head, her thoughts a little fuzzy.
“Nobody plans to hurt someone they love. And I’m Darcy”
“I’m a little drunk” Wanda clicks her tongue, leaning on Darcy as they go back to the backyard.
“Everything ok, love?” you say when Wanda comes back, and to your surprise, she sits on your lap instead of a chair.
“These things are strong. A couple more and I’ll consider doing that thing you wanted to try in bed”
“Oh, dear God” you blush, while Clint, Laura and Darcy whistle. Pietro covers his ears, gagging. “No more cocktails for you… at least with the kids around”
The Bartons stay a little while longer, eating and drinking until Lila and Cooper approach Clint.
“Can we get a dog?”
“That’s our cue to go” he sighs, standing up.
“Please, we want one!” Lila insists, and you laugh at Clint’s defeated expression.
“We’ll see” he compromises. “Come on, we gotta stop by at your grandparents”
They leave, thanking you for the food and you promise to take the twins and Sparky to play at the farm very soon.
Pietro finally gets off his ass to bring the turkey, which looks absolutely delicious. He carves it, saving the biggest piece for his sister.
“I love Thanksgiving” you say, enjoying what’s probably the best meal you’ve ever had.
“Me too” Darcy agrees, getting seconds and thirds of everything. Truth be told, you never get to sit around and eat as much as you like so this is a total luxury for a workaholic doctor.
As you’re finishing up, Wanda takes out a pecan pie.
“I’m in heaven” Darcy comments upon the first bite.
On the other hand, you cannot hold back a moan, which makes Wanda bite her lip, one of her hands going to squeeze your thigh.
“Hey, quick question, will you marry me?” Darcy says to Wanda and you elbow her.
“Right in front of my pecan pie?”
“I’m just saying, if you don’t, I will”
“She better get a ring then” Wanda says, smiling at you. Your mind goes back to the woman at the shop, telling you about those last minute engagements.
Surprisingly, Pietro is the one that changes the subject.
“You know what I always find funny? How the flavor makes my throat all tingly. And my tongue numb”
Everyone looks at him in silence, until Darcy speaks.
“That’s an allergic reaction”
“What? No” Pietro dismisses her point.
“It is” you insist, which earns another hand gesture from the man. “Oh, you’re right, what do we know? We only went to medical school”
“You’re so dumb” Wanda says, laughing and holding her sides. “You’ve been allergic our whole lives? Oh, my God!”
“Very funny, sestra. But now you can’t make this anymore”
“Hey, eat a granola bar or something” Darcy snaps, getting a second slice. “Why should we pay the price for your weakness?”
“Let’s finish the pie so he doesn’t get an allergy” you tease.
Darcy and you keep eating while Pietro is instructed to clean up the table and load the dishwasher. As the celebration ends, Darcy goes back home with tons of leftovers.
“I’ll walk you out ” you say, accompanying your friend. As you’re chatting, your phone rings again.
“Your mother?” Darcy guesses when you ignore the call. You click your tongue, putting the phone back in your pocket. “Let me guess, she’s calling for the usual wish you were here bullshit while never calling in advance”
“Yeah, that’s our thing. This year I’m not in the mood to do it, though”
“Well, she’ll hopefully get the hint” Darcy’s pager goes off and she sighs. “There it is”
“Want me to tag along?”
“It’s fine. I’ll call if it gets too crazy. Bye, pal”
You wave as she drives away, walking back with Sparky. For a second, you feel guilty and think about calling your mother back, but this day has been perfect and you don’t want to ruin it.
“Hey, kiddos, did you have fun?” you ruffle Tommy’s hair when you get home, getting Sparky his dinner.
“Yeah, it was awesome!”
“Well, you better check your rooms because I got you a little present”
As usual, Tommy is faster, but Billy is right behind him, both of them shouting excitedly.
“What is all that noise?” Wanda says, alarmed.
“Just following tradition” you explain with a smile, waiting for the kids to open their presents.
“What tradition?” Wanda says, looking confused.
“Thanksgiving presents”
Then you hear it. Pietro snorts a laughter from his spot in the kitchen.
Motherfucker.
“I’m gonna kill you, Evil Twin” you say, going straight to where he’s standing. Pietro runs around the kitchen island, putting distance between you two.
“Stop it, you two!” Wanda says, hands on her hips.
“Sorry, love. But he’s got it coming” you throw a towel his way, and take advantage of the distraction to jump over the counter, falling on top of him.
“Cool!” Billy says, watching as you have Pietro in a headlock.
“How are you so strong?” he complains, unable to free himself.
“I’m in the ER, do you really think I don’t have to deal with drunk assholes?”
“Enough!” Wanda shouts, pulling you by the belt loop of your pants until you’re off balance. “Explain” she asks standing between you two.
“He told me you gave each other presents during Thanksgiving!”
“We love ours!” Tommy says, showing the stands for their controls. You smile, fixing your shirt.
“Well, you’re the only ones getting one. Your uncle is definitely not”
“You got me something?”
“Yes, and it was a damn good present” you smile, knowing the curiosity will drive him crazy.
“Come on, can I have it?”
“No” Wanda and you say at the same time.
You make fun of him, and then Wanda tilts her head.
“Did you get me something?”
“Of course I did” you pat the back of your jeans, finding the necklace box there. “Here”
Wanda’s eyes widen as soon as she opens it, her hand covering her mouth.
“What? You don’t like it? I can return it. Or maybe I can’t. But you don’t have to wear it” you rant, afraid that it’s too much for a tradition that isn’t even real.
“Sweetheart, stop” she says, smiling. “I-I love it. Thank you”
“Well, I love you” you lean forward, letting her kiss you. Billy and Tommy protest at the contact, something that they have unfortunately picked up from their uncle.
“Can I have my present? Please?” Pietro says.
“No, wait until Christmas” you say.
“And for this little joke you’re gonna clean the kitchen” Wanda says, pointing at all the dirty pots and pans.
“My joke got you a pearl necklace”
“Chop, chop, Pietro” she ignores him, pushing the kids upstairs so they can get ready for bed. “You two stink, go and take a shower”
“Where do you want me, Bossypants?” you joke, standing next to her.
“Mhm” she smiles, leaning forward to whisper in your ear. “You like it when I’m bossy?”
“Yes, Ma’am”
“Then go shower too. And stay in bed. You were running around all day”
“Wanna join me in the shower?”
“I’ll help Pietro clean. Or we’ll never hear the end of it” she says, smiling when you pull her close, kissing her cheek.
“Don’t be long”
By the time Wanda comes up, you’re asleep, wearing nothing but shorts and a t-shirt.
The gentleness of her lips against your neck wakes you up with a shudder, and you bring your hand to rub up and down her back.
“Are you done with cleaning?” you say, trying not to yawn. Wanda’s teeth, marking the spot between your shoulder and neck jolt you awake. “Baby?”
“You always give me so much. I want to thank you” she says, moving down your lap. You lean on your elbows, unsure if you’re understanding what she’s saying.
“Wanda?” you’re about to ask something else, but the words get stuck in your throat when you feel her rubbing her nose against your clit through your shorts. “I… uh…”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong” you say, having trouble breathing when she pulls down your shorts, revealing you’re not wearing any underwear.
“Perfect” Wanda smiles, leaning down. You can tell she’s hovering, teasing you with anticipation. Even when she kisses the inside of your thighs, it feels heavenly.
You make the mistake of looking down, and Wanda’s eyes meet yours. She has a predatory smirk on her face, one you’ve never seen before. She knows how much you want this, she can see it, smell it. You’re about to plead for her to continue when she goes down, tongue licking a strip down your center.
“Fuck” you say, your legs instantly going to close around her head. You’re so sensitive and she’s sucking on your clit with such abandonment. Wanda lets you ride her face, enjoying the feeling of your juices coating every inch of her chin.
When you’re close to coming, she manages to pull free of your hold, pushing her hair back. Her chest is heaving, face glistening with your arousal.
“Wha-“ she doesn’t let you finish, pulling down her own shorts, and crawling on top of you.
“I want you to come with me” she sighs against your mouth, allowing you to taste yourself. Her pussy comes in contact with yours, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel her wetness.
“Be quiet for me” she hisses, though there’s certain tenderness in her voice. Her palm covers your mouth, and Wanda only moves when you nod, pushing her hips against yours.
“Wanda” you plead, not knowing exactly what you’re after. Even though she’s also getting pleasure out of this, she’s still very much in control, keeping you steady as she rocks her hips, setting the pace.
As your breathing quickens, Wanda picks up the pace, and your arm snakes around her waist, pulling her closer until she drops her body on top of yours, moving and panting next to your ear.
“I’m close” you breathe, and the way she bites down your neck is what pushes you over the edge, letting out a groan and a string of curse words that would put your best friend to shame.
Wanda’s release follows, and you let her dig her nails in your shoulders as she comes. She relaxes against your chest, her heart slowing down as you run your hand up and down her back.
You don’t need to look to know there’s a mess of sheets and clothes around you. Wanda is too far gone to care, the intensity of her orgasm and the exhaustion of the day making her doze off.
“Can we make this into a tradition?” you whisper against her temple. She laughs, cuddling against your side.
“Totally”
—
Wanda: Hey
Y/N: Hey, gorgeous
Wanda: Miss you
Y/N: Miss you more.
Y/N: Thinking about that mindblowing orgasm too.
“Someone got laid for Thanksgiving” Carol reads over your shoulder and you huff.
“Mind your business, Danvers”
“Darcy said it was the best meal of her life. What do we have to do to get invited next year?” she says as you walk down the hospital halls.
“Go back in time and not sleep with me”
“Damn. Wanda’s still jealous? Would it change if I’m a married gal?”
“You set a date?” you stop Carol, excited to hear more.
“Your invitation should be in the mail soon”
“Congrats!” you smile, pulling her for a hug.
“There’s one more thing… I was wondering if you’d be my maid of honor…”
The request catches you completely off guard. Carol had been your friend since you arrived at the hospital, but considering everything that happened, you’d figure Maria wouldn’t be comfortable with that.
“I mean… I would love to, but Maria”
“She’s fine with it. Understands it was just a distraction”
“Aww, that makes me feel so special” you put your hands over your chest, sighing dramatically.
“You know what I mean” Carol says, making you walk to the ER. “So, you in? You’ll have to do dress fittings. Organize a bachelorette party. Make sure I’m there on time”
“Fine, yes. Oh, did I mention we got a dog?”
On the way to the ER, you show Carol a bunch of pictures of Sparky, and she’s still obsessing over his funky hair when you find Kate, finishing some charts.
“How was your night, Bishop?”
“A bit crazy. Some accidents on the road, and cuts with kitchen knives… but it’s been pretty quiet now”
Carol gasps and you want to scream.
“Don’t say the q word, Bishop” you plead.
“Why?”
Two ambulances park right outside and you nod towards them.
“That’s why”
True to the lore, the word quiet attracts a wave of emergencies and freak accidents that take up most of your shift.
That’s not what has you on the edge of a nervouse breakdown, though.
During your first break of the night, you answer a text from Wanda, telling her you’ll be sure to be there for Pietro’s dinner tomorrow, as he’s finally leaving on Monday morning.
No one ever leaves a voicemail so you check out the notification, and you wish you hadn’t.
“For someone who works in the ER, you sure as hell aren’t around for family emergencies” your mother says. “Well, it’s not really an emergency, but you get my point. We’re gonna be in town, Jane’s probably applying to Westview university next year. Call me when you can, it would help if you give us a tour around the city. And pick up the damn phone, it’s Thanksgiving”
Kate finds you in that moment, making you jump out of your seat.
“You wanted me to…”
“Follow up with the patient in 403, yes. I’m going out for a while. Call me if it’s urgent”
The first thing you want to do is throw your phone away, but you settle for walking to a nearby store, looking for a pack of cigarrettes and a lighter. If you didn’t have a shift to go back to, you’d certainly get a bottle of cheap booze.
As you sit on the sidewalk, your hands tremble when you light up a cigarrette. It’s been ten minutes and you’re through the third one when Darcy stops by.
“What’s the matter with you?”
Since you can’t find the strenght to explain it, you hand over your phone. Your friend physically recoils at the sound of your mother’s voice, that’s how much she dislikes her.
“I’m sorry” Darcy says, sitting next to you. “She might not even make time to see you, she’s probably just pretending, like with every holiday”
“It’s not just that, Darcy. What if Jane goes to Westview University? I’m going to… I’m going to be worrying about whether or not she’ll be around. If her daughter needs anything, she’ll call me, if something goes wrong and I don’t find a way to fix it immediately, I’ll be the screw up of a daughter who never cares about her family. I’m gonna have to move, there’s just no way I can…”
“Slow down” Darcy sits next to you, her hand on your shoulder. Her touch helps you stay calm, and you breathe slowly. “That’s a massive if. You don’t know if it’s happening. And we’re both very much aware that you could do everything your mother asks and it still wouldn’t be enough. Don’t let her control you”
“I don’t know how” you admit, your voice breaking down.
“That’s ok” Darcy pulls you in, hugging you. “We’ll figure it out. Or just take her to the nastiest places in town, she’ll never let Jane come here again”
You let out a laugh at that, wiping your tears.
“I love you, friend” you say, feeling exhausted.
“Ugh, you always get so emotional when that witch is lurking around. Careful or you’ll end up proposing to Wanda”
“I don’t want my mother anywhere near Wanda. If she says anything hurtful to her, I swear to God she’ll really regret the minute she pushed me out of her fucking insides”
“Damn, bitch, now that’s the fire I want to see in you” Darcy claps, pulling you up. “Come back inside. Heard it’s been non stop since your minion summoned the entire city”
“Yeah, she said the q word”
“Queef” Darcy sighs and you cackle.
“Sassy queef”
—
The last thing you want to do when your shift is over is have dinner and be social, but you promised Wanda.
So you walk through the door with a smile on your face and some flowers for your girlfriend. Wanda greets you with a kiss, but quickly pulls apart.
“Did you smoke?”
“Uh…”
Seems like the entire pack of gum after smoking for the last 48 hours didn’t do the trick.
“Yes, sorry. I’ll go use some mouthwash and change clothes”
“Hold on” Wanda pulls your hand, looking at you. “What’s wrong? You only smoke if you’re stressed”
“Sestra!” her brother calls, and you’re actually grateful for the interruption.
“I’ll tell you later. Pietro needs your help”
Thankfully the conversation centers on the other Maximoff and his plans for the upcoming weeks, now that the conditions seem more favorable for snowboarding.
You ask a question here and there, but mostly keep to yourself, eating the chicken paprikash and drinking wine. Yeah, you definitely drink a couple of glasses to keep your cool.
If Wanda notices, she keeps it to herself once again.
“Well, sounds like you’ll be needing a pair of brand new gloves” you say to Pietro at one point, taking out a box from behind the tv. “Hidden in plain sight”
“She’s a keeper!” he exclaims when he notices the fine material. “I’m definitely coming back for Christmas now”
“Hey, you better get me something nice too”
You’re halfway the second bottle of wine when everyone’s done with dinner, and the kids are debating between going for ice cream or watching a movie. It’s safer to stay in the kitchen, cleaning everything and hoping you can excuse yourself early.
Truth is, you really want to drink until you pass out but that would raise too many questions with Wanda.
“They settled on Jumanji” Wanda announces when you’re drying your hands.
“Mmkay. I’ll take Sparky out for his walk then” you volunteer, rushing to get his leash before she can ask anything else.
The cold air makes you sober up a little, remembering what Darcy told you.
Don’t let her control you, don’t let her ruin your life.
You’ve told Wanda your relationship with your mother is not the best, but how could you possibly explain that’s a wild understatement?
“Isn’t that the cutest dog?” Agatha greets Sparky, who wags his tail. “What’s their name?”
“Sparky”
“Oh, wow” Agatha waves her hand in front of her nose. “Booze and cigarrettes, did you have fun at the casino?”
“Uh…”
“Come on, I’ll get you a special tea. It always helps”
She rushes you to her porch, making you sit while Sparky is on your lap, comfortably napping.
“One cup of “specialty”. Hah! Get it? Special tea, specialty”
“Very clever… oh, wow! Does this have peppermint?”
“Yes, clever girl”
“My grandmother grew peppermint on her front yard. I always loved the smell of it… even the taste when she made tea” you smile, sipping slowly.
“Everything ok, kiddo?” she asks after a beat of silence.
“No, not really”
“Well, I’m here if you want to…” your neighbor says, petting Sparky.
“I mean, thank you, but I feel like I don’t have a lot of people to tell this to, without being judged. Because you know what it is? I fucking hate my mother, Agatha”
To your surprise, the woman let’s out a loud laugh.
“Oh, honey, please. Tell me about it. My mother was a witch”
“Is that figuratively or…”
“I mean, who knows. She was evil, that’s for sure” Agatha rolls her eyes, and then looks at you. “Yeah, I get it. Most people say that you have to love your family, just because you share blood. Blood is thicker than water, they say. Meanwhile, they don’t know the full phrase is the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”
“Is that so?”
“Trust me, I know” Agatha nods. “My mother would tell me I was evil, I was bad. Just rotten to the core, in her own words.”
“I’m so sorry”
“Darling, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. You have your own family with the Brady bunch over there.”
“I guess a part of me still believes she’ll apologize”
“Don’t hold your breath. And if she doesn’t, it still doesn’t mean you did something to deserve her shit”
“Thank you, Agatha”
The woman pats your leg, smiling.
“My love, are you coming back to bed?” a voice says from the inside of her house and you almost snap your neck looking back.
“Coming, Rio”
“I had no idea I was interrupting, I’ll leave right now” you stutter, carrying Sparky down the steps of the woman’s porch.
“Don’t sweat it, hot stuff. She needed a break after everything we just did” Agatha winks.
“Good talk, bye Agatha, bye Rio” you wave your hand, running back home all flustered.
The kids are with their uncle watching tv when you go inside. You let Sparky go so he can sit on the couch with them, and go upstairs to get changed and sleep.
Once you’re settling in bed, Wanda pushes the door open, eyeing you curiously.
“Sweetheart” is all she says. It’s both a question and an affirmation.
“It’s been a long day” you admit, too tired to pretend you’re ok, but also not in the mood to explain everything.
Maybe your mother won’t even come, and you’ll have shown Wanda how broken and fucked up you are for no reason. She doesn’t need to know it. Not now, at least.
“Let me help” she offers, climbing on your lap, kissing every inch of your face. You hold on to her waist, digging your fingers in her flesh. “I love you”
“I know. I love you too” you smile, finally connecting her lips with yours. She’s meant to comfort you with her touch, not wanting to start something else, because everyone’s downstairs. But when you swipe your tongue across her bottom lip, Wanda lets out a groan, nails scrapping your scalp as you deepen the kiss.
“Please” you say, switching positions so she’s on her back, you on top. You don’t really know what you’re asking for, but she can sense your desperation, holding on to your shoulders.
“It’s ok. I’m here. Use me, love. Take me”
Those words spurr you on, making you go down to kiss her neck, unbuttoning her shirt and leaving a trail of marks all the way to her hips. You desperately pull at her pants, immediately going down on her, your touch impatient as Wanda covers her mouth to keep quiet.
“Please” she manages to ask, and you give her more, stretching her with two of your fingers. “More”
You’re happy to comply, adding another digit and working them in and out of her clenching cunt, while you go back to meet her lips in a messy kiss.
“I fucking love you” you say against her mouth, and that sends Wanda over the edge, arousal gushing out of her with each of your final thrusts.
“I was… supposed to make you feel better” she says, trying to catch her breath.
“Oh, trust me. You did”
Wanda laughs, looking at you lovingly while you kiss her temple.
“I love you too” she says when your lips meet hers for a quick kiss.
“I know. I’m very lovable”
Her laugh makes you forget all the bad shit you’ve been carrying with you for the last day and a half.
—
“Take care, brat” Wanda says, her arms going around her brother. “See you soon”
“Yes” he then says something in Sokovian, making Wanda laugh.
“Do you guys know what they’re saying?” you approach Billy and Tommy.
“No, mama hasn’t taught us any Sokovian”
“We think it’s so they can say bad words without getting caught”
“Huh”
“What is all that mumbling I’m hearing?” Wanda says, making you stand straight.
“Nothing” the three of you say at the same time, making her laugh.
“Relax, sestra. You two, be good while I’m gone. And if you’re not good…”
“Be careful” they finish the sentence, laughing.
“And you…” Pietro points at you. Wanda is about to intervene, thinking he’s about to give you another shovel talk. but you wink at her, smiling. “Welcome to the family”
“Thank you, Evil Twin. See you at Christmas”
“You’re dressing up as Santa this year” he says in a low voice and you laugh.
The man gets in his car, waving goodbye one last time.
“Alright, you two, we’re gonna be late for school” Wanda says, and the routine slips you back to reality.
“Hey” you say, pulling her close to you. Before she can answer, you kiss her, hands on her cheeks. She squeezes your wrists, smiling. “Do I really have to be Santa?”
“We’ll see” she laughs, kissing you once again. “Come on. We got a busy day ahead of ourselves”
You smile, letting her take you back home.
Whatever happens next, you just need Wanda to get through it.
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ellie williams with blind reader
I JUST CANT FIND THIS ANYWHERE AND I THINK ELLIE WOULD BE A SOFTIE WITH THE READER😭😭
A/N: HELLO POOKIE!!! I love love love this request so much and I had so much fun writing it, thank you so much and I wish you a wonderful day!🤍🤍🤍 It was supposed to come out WEEKS ago but I got sick because I have the immune system of a Victorian child and I forgot to post this, I beg on my knees for forgiveness 😔✋🏼
give me feedback, gays 💜
NAVIGATION
okay so where should I start...
First of all can we say that being blind ESPECIALLY in an apocalyptic world is not EXACTLY ideal...
While Ellie may not fully grasp how you experience the world without sight, she knows what it's like to feel isolated and alienated
She’d make it her mission to keep you emotionally safe, always checking in with you, and gently coaxing you to talk when you’re feeling down or scared
BUT I'd like to think that Ellie wouldn't treat you like a little child just because of your condition, she knows you just need some extra help for some tasks
Ellie would totally read books out loud for you, because I don't think braille would be a thing in the apocalypse
She doesn't even mind doing it and she actually loves being able to help you with that
she might sit with you at the end of the day and read aloud from any scraps of books she can find out on patrol. If she doesn't have a book handy, she might make up stories on the spot, trying to paint vivid images in your mind
Sometimes if she doesn't have any ideas she'd just tell you about her adventures on patrol
...and it would be hilarious sometimes-
"Alright, so I was getting chased by this huge group of clickers, right? And they’re all like… trying to get me, but I’m just this...stealthy ninja, dodging left and right— Anyway, I had this crazy plan, and I kinda... tripped but, hey, that’s the story of how I almost died!"
I also believe she would be SO worried whenever she leaves for patrol because she knows you'd have to stay alone for a while.
Ellie would likely become hyper-aware of your other senses. Since you can’t see, she would focus on sounds, smells, and even tactile sensations to keep you informed of your surroundings
she might tap your shoulder lightly to guide you if you're about to bump into something
She would hold your hand to guide you when walking through a dangerous area or wrap her arm around your waist to steer you through crowded spaces in Jackson
Even though you’re blind, Ellie might still try to teach you about things that can be learned through other senses.
She could explain how to recognize different plants or what types of birds are nearby by their calls
Maybe she’ll even take it upon herself to teach you how to identify objects or places by their texture or sound, making you feel more connected to the world around you.
"This one’s a little tricky, but feel the texture of this rock—it's rough, right? Man, I love rocks..."
Ellie might get frustrated at times, but never at you, more at herself: she feels like she can’t do enough to make your life easier.
She might worry about how you experience the world, wanting to fix everything but realizing that some things are beyond her control
This would lead to moments where she becomes fiercely determined to find a way to help, trying to make things better in any way she can
"I just wish I could give you more, you know? I wish I could make you see the things I can see, just so you don’t feel like you’re missing out on things."
Overall she would be such a pookie because she's Ellie and she's a cutie patotie (and she also reduced the population of Seattle by 50%)
#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams tlou#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams#ellie tlou#the last of us#tlou#tlou2
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Angst idea coming up!!
I imagine there would be a school event let’s say and Daniel would go with his children of course, possibly want to take you with him, but his ex wife would insist that it’s a family event and you’re not family in any way or shape, no matter how much you take care of Daniel’s kids, this just isn’t a place for you and this could make Daniel uneasy because he’d see the logical part in his ex wife’s reasoning yet feel bad because you are his new partner and his kids like you and I imagine this uneasiness and perhaps indecisiveness from Daniel would spark uncertainty in you as well and that just hits right in the heart
~🫠
🫠 nonnie always pulling through.. i know that’s right!! but GOD?? the thought of this?? it pulls my heartstrings. the angst potential LORDDD.
you know the usual, drabble under the cut<3
“she’s not family, daniel,” is spat across the line, daniel wincing at the harshness in his ex-wife’s voice. “she looks after the kids— great. that doesn’t make her family all of a sudden.”
daniel’s fingers drum against the kitchen counter anxiously as she rambles on, adding more reasons why you shouldn’t be at the kids’ charity evening. parents were invited along of course, running stalls with their children. it was a great idea, the kids were so excited to tell you, daniel and their mother.
but they didn’t know themselves that their mother wasn’t onboard with it.
“it’s— it’s not fair to leave her out,” he interrupts, screwing his eyes shut in preparation for another shout down the phone. thankfully, it’s only a deep sigh so he can continue. “the kids love her, they were so excited to tell her,” he explains, a soft smile appearing on his face as he recalled the memory.
“i don’t care, daniel,” she tells him, and she definitely isn’t lying— he had never heard her sound so bored, apart from the times daniel had tried to organise date nights that were more.. him. not a good memory. “remind me what the first line of the handout says?”
daniel frowns out of confusion at the question, but obliges anyways. he grabs the sheet of paper from in front of him, opening it up and reading it out. “dear parents of—”
“there!” she shouts, daniel flinching at the sudden loudness. “parents, daniel. she is not their parent. never has been, never will be.”
daniel exhales deeply from his nose. fuck. he should’ve seen that coming. what happened to letters saying ‘parents or guardians’? he shakes his head, trying to think of a response.
but he doesn’t need to, as she speaks up again. “we aren’t discussing this any more now, daniel. break the news— although it really isn’t much of a newsflash— and then start organising your outfit,”
and then the line fell flat.
daniel places his phone on the counter, before allowing his head to fall into his hands with a heavy sigh. he was feeling many emotions. confusion— about the whole thing. upset— he wasn’t able to get his side in. anger— over the newsflash comment. you had come a long way with his kids, and be had a controversial opinion on who was a better mother figure to the two.
————————————
“you can’t come tomorrow.”
the words feel like a stab in the heart when you hear them. daniel had sat you down in the living room after the kids had gone upstairs to play, and told you that he needed to talk to you.
you assumed it was serious, but you didn’t think it was this.
“what?” is all that falls from your lips, as you’re too shocked to form a proper sentence. daniel isn’t even looking at you, he’s more focused on picking his the nail of his index finger.
“you can’t— you can’t come tomorrow. i’m sorry, i know it’s quite late to tell you, but.. yeah,” he trails off, voice low. he still isn’t looking at you, hasn’t done since he asked you to sit with him. it feels dismissive, it feels wrong. it feels like a completely different person in front of you.
“have i done something? we were so excited to bake with the kids and sell their cakes,” you plead, reminding him that just yesterday, you were both so happy about the event.
“look— it’s.. it’s a parent event, yeah?” daniel lets out, cringing at his words. he hates that he’s listening to her, he doesn’t even agree with the decision, but something is telling him he has to.
then again maybe he shouldn’t, because the moment he finally looks up, he sees the saddened look on your face. he couldn’t read every emotion you seemed to portray— you looked upset, hurt and maybe.. betrayed? fuck.
“and— and please believe me when i say you do such a great job looking after them,” he starts, raising his hands as he goes to ramble out something to save his ass.
but you interrupt him with a dry laugh, shutting your eyes as you take a deep breath in. your head falls, and you stare down at your trembling hands that lay atop your thighs. suddenly your vision gets blurry and— oh, the tears have started.
daniel’s heart breaks as he sees the tears welling in your eyes, and he reaches out to comfort you. he wasn’t expecting it to be reciprocated well, but he wasn’t expecting you to completely pull away from him.
“sweetheart—” “don’t sweetheart me, daniel,” you snap, licking your suddenly dry lips. “i thought— i thought that maybe..” you started, daniel’s heart cracking even more at the wobble in your voice. “fuck— i really thought things were moving into a new chapter. i thought that the kids were seeing me as something more than just.. a babysitter. i thought you were starting to see me as something more than a fuck every now and then, like it was in the beginning.”
daniel gapes at your words, and shit. he hadn’t even thought about how the whole situation would have looked without context. but then again, would it have been better with it? it was too late to find out now, anyways.
“no— no, you know it’s not like that,” he tells you firmly, going to reach a hand out for you to comfort you, but he was taken aback when you abruptly stood up.
“i think i’m going to go,” you told him, not allowing nor wanting to hear the rest of what he had to say. as soon as you walked out the living room, he could only stare at the floor in disbelief.
he was trying so hard to obey to his ex, that he was completely disregarding you— his current partner’s— feelings. what the fuck was wrong with him?
he was brought back to reality when you had shouted upstairs to the kids, telling them you had to head back to your own house tonight— that there was some leftover work you had to do. daniel turned his head to the side, watching as his kids ran downstairs to give you a big hug, whining about how they wanted you to stay.
you didn’t even spare him a glance as you said your goodbyes, and he felt like the slammed front door was the only goodbye he’d be getting.
he had really fucked it.
okay honestly i did NOT expect it to get to 1k words.. LOL. angst just really draws me in and i get carried away!! thank you 🫠 nonnie again for this wonderful idea, you’re a godsend<3<3
part 2, perhaps? 👀
#opening my mail#thoughts#🫠 anon#divorced dad!daniel#dr#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x you
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I was asked for a snippet from the Dogshow series. I have delivered. As the exact scene was not specified, I decided for myself.
Dogshow: No Way Home
____
[“But no matter how pathetic I was, you and Mom still treated me the same as always,” Subaru said. “That’s what scared me most of all…”]
“They…” Emilia choked out. “They really did…They really did love him, didn’t they…?”
Otto thought of his own parents, and how patient they had been with him for all those years. He swallowed, fighting back tears.
“Those bushes there really are fascinating!” Anastasia was saying loudly. “They look just like some of the foliage we have back here, don’t they?! I wonder if maybe there’s been some cross-barrier transport of — of seeds or something! Or perhaps it’s just the convergent evolution Hoshin once described at work—”
[“I wanted you to say, ‘I don’t love you.’ ‘I despise you.’ ‘You’re not my son.’”]
“…What?” Ram croaked. Rem watched silently from beside her, carefully stone-faced as she watched this tragedy unfold. “Subaru, you wanted…what?”
Subaru didn’t answer. He had stopped moving a while ago. He was staring at the metia, unable to look away from his father’s face.
“I mean, really!” Anastasia continued loudly, a frantic edge to her voice. Mimi was nodding along theatrically from beside her. “I wonder if we could cross-breed exact replicas of those — what did you call them, Subaru?! Sakura trees?! If those bushes’ similarities really are just the result of convergent evolution, then—! I mean, I know for a fact we have trees very similar to those sakuras in Kararagi, so it’s not all that far off to conclude that we might be able to—!”
[“I wanted you to tell me that and throw me out. I wanted you to make me give up.”]
“…Oh, fuck,” Anastasia managed, finally unable to avoid listening to the conversation.
Next to her, Julius made a horrible, horrible noise.
Onscreen, Subaru continued to speak about how he had grown past these feelings. How he had found a way to live for himself, to start striving to better himself — and how the people he had met since had allowed him to do so. But Ricardo couldn’t focus on any of that, because all he could think was that THIS was the version of Subaru that his parents remembered.
A young boy, on the cusp of their culture’s idea of adulthood, who had suddenly retreated into his shell amidst disapproval from his peers. Who’s difficulties in interacting with others HADN’T been due to a difference in culture after all, with him struggling so much to make and keep his friends even back home that eventually he had felt that he had no choice but to give up in that pursuit entirely. Who had fled from his duties as a scholar and holed himself up in his room, refusing to leave for any reason except to eat. Who was constantly waiting for his two parents who loved him very much to revoke that affection out of frustration and throw him out.
Who was just waiting for an excuse to go and end himself, giving up for good.
Ricardo suddenly thought about Ana-bo. He wasn’t her biological father, but he had — he had bathed her, and fed her, and secured her work, and fought to protect her from unsavory types, and watched her grow up from a little orphan brat into a strong, capable woman. He had known her, and he had loved her, and she had become — family, to him, most definitely. In a sense, perhaps she could be considered his daughter after all.
What would he have done, if Ana-bo had — sometime on the cusp of adulthood — had withdrawn into herself so completely and utterly that she refused to socialize with anyone unless she were forced to do so? That she no longer tried to work, or learn new things, or improve her skills, but instead escaped into storybook after storybook about being whisked away to a place where she could be someone, anyone other than who she had been before? That she curled up in the corner of her room and waited for Ricardo to throw her out on the street, because then she would finally have an excuse to — to finally go and fucking kill herself?
Stop it, Ricardo hissed at himself. But he couldn’t stop.
He wouldn’t have let it get that first in the first place, first of all: he would have dragged Anastasia out of her room by force and force-fed her a decent lifestyle, if need be. In fact, part of him thought that Subaru’s father had been somewhat useless in that regard: had there really been nothing his old man could do to stop him from crawling into his shell and refusing to come out for several months on end? But even if there wasn’t anything he could do about it, he wouldn’t have abandoned her. Even if he were going by Kararagi’s age of adulthood being 15 where — Japan, it was called — their age appeared to be 18, he still would have known her for four, five full years, and that had been more than enough for him to start caring about her more deeply than he had ever expected being able to care about anyone. What would he have done instead? Well, the answer had to be “whatever he could.”
But then, what would he have done, if — in the middle of a depressive spiral so severe — Anastasia had vanished into the night without a trace? He would look for her, obviously. He’d spare no expense, either, and — and he’d keep a tally of every cent he spent, so that when he finally found her again he could shove the receipt in her face and tell her that she was going to work to earn back every last bit in order to make up for scaring him so badly. But then — if he never found her — he’d never stop looking, would he? Or maybe he’d be forced to stop? But then he’d still be waiting, and he’d still be putting up posters and asking for leads, and as the years passed he’d be thinking of what she might look like now, how she might have aged, what sort of life she might be living far away from home, hoping against hope that she hadn’t actually gone and—
But the reality would be worse.
It would have been better if this hypothetical Ana-bo had been given the mercy of a quick death, on her own terms. It would be better if Ana-bo had died just once. It would be better if she didn’t have to experience — being slit open and bled out, being drained of all her energy bit by bit, being thrown down a hallway and crushed by a giant flail in a place where she was supposed to be safe, being tortured by someone she had thought she could trust in the woods where nobody could hear her cry, being attacked by a pack of vicious, wild animals, being publicly humiliated and beaten half to death for the crime of being a brat in the wrong place at the wrong time, being forced to witness the corpses of all of the people she had grown to care about and told that it was all her fault, being kidnapped and tortured in a cave by a madman, being turned away as she begged and pleaded and prostrated herself for help, being chased by a vicious monster intent on erasing her from existence, being frozen to death bit by bit as a vengeful spirit forced her to suffer through every second, being possessed and forced to beg for a mercy kill right when it looked like the world was about to turn out alright, being blown up, being forced to watch as her support network was shattered behind her back once again as her closest friend was erased from everyone’s mind but her own, being forced to suffer again and again and again without an end in sight—!
Was it a mercy, that Natsuki Kenichi would be forced to conclude that his only son had gone and killed himself? Was it a mercy, that he would never find out the truth of what his child was being forced to endure in his absence? Was it a mercy, was it an injustice, what the actual FUCK was this horrible, horrible—!
“Ricardo?”
With slow, jerky movements, Ricardo turned to face Ana-bo. She was watching him with large, worried eyes. She had been so upset a second ago, staring at that metia with a slack jaw as she made a miserable choking sound, and here she was pushing that aside for his sake. How could he have ever deserved—!
“Mmph!”
Ana-bo made a startled noise as Ricardo practically dove for her, wrapping his arms around her and pulling him tight to his chest so that nobody could ever take her from his side. Normally she would protest this action greatly. But now, after a moment of shocked silence, that wise, kind, clever, wonderful daughter of his hugged him back.
“Ya don’t need to cry,” Ana-bo murmured. “‘M not going anywhere.”
In truth, Ricardo hadn’t even noticed that his cheeks were wet. He didn’t have it in him to be ashamed. All he could do was clutch her close and wait for the shaking to subside, bit by bit.
…If it were Anastasia, Ricardo would have prayed for someone to be looking after her in a situation like this. Father to father, he could do the same for Subaru’s old man if need be.
—Though, from the look on Wilhelm’s face, Ricardo wondered if his own involvement would even be necessary.
Wilhelm had his hands raised to cover his mouth in a decidedly uncharacteristic display, so horrified he was by the reveal of the prior state of that young boy. Subaru had… Subaru had…
This wasn’t what he had expected. A young, dumb boy who got into mischief perhaps a little too often for his own good, sure. But a youth who had shrank away from everything so completely, so utterly, that he had really begun to think that there was no future for him at all—!
What a horrible thing for a father to hear from his son. What an awful thing for a son to voice aloud — or to feel, in the first place. Wilhelm had seen blood and carnage and despair on the battlefield, but for some reason it was now that horrified nausea twisted his insides into knots.
“I don’t want to die! I don’t want to die! No! No! Help me! No! I don’t want to die!”
Subaru hadn’t REALLY wanted to die. But — had he not fully understood that, back then? How could he not have known—!
(Wilhelm did not think of his own son, who…may have been left in a similar state. For all of his courage on the battlefield, the Sword Demon could not bring himself to think about that.)
[“FATHER HEADBUTT!!!”]
[Natsuki Kenichi slammed an axe kick down on the head of his beloved only son.]
Julius squawked loudly, abruptly snapped out of his horrified silence. Next to him, Mimi’s despaired expression shifted as she — mercifully — broke into peals of laughter.
[“A lot of what you just said bothers me, but you know what’s the worst?” Kenichi was scolding, suddenly rather serious. “You wanted me to hate you, so you tried to achieve that by playing hookey? Are you dumb?! And if you want to get me to throw you out, pick a more active method! Who would ditch their own kid just because he retreated into his shell?!”]
Ricardo — relaxed, just the slightest bit. At least…at least that old man had told it to him straight. Right?
[“You’re so twisted, you’re on the fast track to being an idiot!” Kenichi cracked his knuckles, grinning. “I’d be glad to set you straight by force if you want…”]
Wilhelm chuckled weakly, trying desperately to force down his turmoil and keep it cool. “Perhaps…Perhaps all fathers have that attitude, even beyond the Great Waterfall…”
Ferris said nothing. Ferris hadn’t moved an inch since the reveal that Subaru had been waiting for an excuse to go and die. Wilhelm didn’t…know what to do.
[“…But it looks like you’ve already been knocked down and stood yourself back up, so there’s no need.” Kenichi’s voice had softened, his fist relaxing into a hand he extended downwards to pull his son back up. Subaru smiled as he accepted it.]
“They really did love him,” Crusch echoed softly. “Didn’t they?”
Anastasia stared wordlessly at the interaction. A very personal sense of loss gnawed at the heart of the former hyena — and a sense of despair at the dawning realization of just how fucked up this situation really was seemed to take over her mind like an invasive species of poisonous flowers.
She reached forward and pulled all three triplets into her lap, hugging them close.
[“Remember what I said?” Subaru was saying. “I found a girl I like. Plus, there's a girl who said she loved me, despite the way I am. And neither one of them knows I'm the son of Natsuki Kenichi. In their eyes, I'm just Natsuki Subaru.” He sighed aloud. “No, in all of their eyes…I was Natsuki Subaru. I finally figured that out.”]
[“It took you long enough. You’re just now coming around to saying all this? I should whack you.”]
Emilia stared at the screen, eyes dull and faded. Rem’s were much the same. On one hand, it was wonderful to be told that Subaru had achieved something so precious due to their influence. It was perhaps the greatest compliment either of them could receive.
But, on the other hand…
[“Um,” Subaru was saying, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Sorry about putting you through—”]
[“If you feel sorry, all you gotta do is take your time making it up to us.” Kenichi grinned, giving him a thumbs-up. “Take good care of me and your mom when we’re old, my eldest son.”]
In the present moment, Subaru finally made a noise.
It was soft, and quiet, and very hoarse — but Beatrice, who had not taken her eyes off of him once, noticed all the same. “Subaru…?”
Subaru’s pupils had shrunk even past their usual states, his whole body shaking as he stared up at the metia in horror. Tears were staring to bud in the corners of his eyes. More horrible croaking noises were leaving his throat. One by one, the people of the audience turned to see what was going on.
“…Natsuki-san, please—” Otto said, the first to reach out. “It’s alright. It’ll— It’ll be alright—”
“Please don’t cry,” Emilia agreed, unusually gentle. “Please, not…” Not while we can’t hold you.
[The Subaru onscreen had already started to cry. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I— I’m sorry. I can’t— I-I'm sorry! I won't be able to make anything up to you before…” He finally, properly burst into tears. “I will never see you again!”]
As that cold reality was voiced aloud, the Subaru in the present finally sobbed — and with that first step, the entire dam seemed to shatter until there was nothing left for him to do but fall to the floor with a thump, curl into a ball, and wail in despair.
“Subaru—!” Julius cried out, trying desperately to hold back his own tears at the horrible sight.
“Subaru-dono, please!” Wilhelm tried to say, reaching forward to try and ease his cries. His hands met glass. “We’re right here, please just—!”
[“I-I’m sorry!” Subaru apologized, over and over again as his sobs grew and grew and grew. “I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!”]
“I-I’m sorry,” Subaru echoed weakly, tears streaming down his face to form a puddle under his cheek. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I wanna— I wanna go home—!”
Beatrice choked back a cry of despair of her own. “Subaru—!”
[“No matter how much time passes, you’re still such a handful, son.” Kenichi sighed, but he was smiling as he rubbed a bawling Subaru’s back. “Sheesh…”]
The current Subaru had no such comfort to be given to him. Nobody could reach him, no matter how badly they wanted to, no matter how hard they tried. All there was left for him to do was wail and wail and wail as the horrible despair surrounding his untimely departure collapsed on him anew.
#this’ll probably get expanded later due to being such an important scene#but for now#:)#my ficlets#natsuki subaru#natsuki kenichi#now that’s what i call a dogshow
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INTERVIEW
HEESEUNG: “I feel like I’m at a place where I can excel at anything”
ENHYPEN ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream- comeback interview
2024.11.23
In his first “-note,” dated July 7, 2020—back when he was still a trainee—HEESEUNG took a look back at each of his lessons for the day, showing a serious thirst for improvement. Fast-forward to today, where the idol, having now achieved his long-held dream of becoming an artist, says he’s “at a place where” he “can do excel at anything”—a major transformation that includes going from a trainee anxious to debut to an artist performing with utmost confidence under stadium lights.
You’re celebrating the fourth anniversary of your debut. Have you ever rewatched those old “-note” videos you made, by any chance?
HEESEUNG: Ah… I get so embarrassed now that I can’t watch them all the way through. (laughs)
I remember in the “-note” you filmed the day ENHYPEN was formed, you talked about how you felt when you found out you would be debuting with your group. You said you “kind of felt sad inside, but I was emotionally really happy.”
HEESEUNG: That’s true. Why did I feel sad about it? Wow—I have no idea. (laughs) I guess I was anxious at the time and felt like it was really happening? I’d been keeping myself strictly disciplined for four years, and now that I was finally debuting, all those bottled-up emotions burst out of me. That’s probably why I said that.
I rewatched your first “-note,” and in it, you talked about where you had room for improvement while reflecting on the practice you did that day.
HEESEUNG: I was kind of anxious when we were filming I-LAND. Honestly, after years of almost nonstop prep for the debut, I was having a bit of a tough time. Even after the show ended and we debuted, I felt so impatient. I felt impatient about everything. Debuting wasn’t the end of it. My goal when I wanted to debut was just to become part of a group, but then, of course, once I accomplished that, something else had to come next. I looked around thinking, “What do I do now?” There were already so many people who are good at music and at performing. The first time I went to an awards ceremony and realized “these people are my competition,” it was scary and inevitably made me even more anxious and impatient. But now I feel like my own comfort is the most important thing. What hurts my pride is if I get nervous onstage. It feels like I’m bringing myself down if I get nervous.
In a “-note” from August, you said, “But to ENGENE who have seen me since I was 20, it must be very interesting… I feel like I’ve changed a lot from who I was then… I definitely feel happier as the years go by.” Is the fact that you don’t feel nervous anymore a part of that change?
HEESEUNG: I think it’s because it’s been about four years now. I try not to be impatient or feel nervous, and try to be relaxed at all times. I don’t even need to go out of my way to think about shaking out my nerves. I try not to even think about it—I just get on with it. I think clearing your mind and holding onto a bit of tension while you’re onstage is the best way to go. The same goes for everyday life. Here’s to easy, worry-free living. And to being open and just being comfortable doing things your way.
You seem much more comfortable expressing your emotions now.
HEESEUNG: I think I’ve become a little more human since back then. Nowadays, I just talk about however I’m feeling, which I find kind of funny. I actually feel like I need to tone it down a bit now. (laughs) But life’s taught me that there’s more upsides to expressing your emotions than downsides. When you’re open about your feelings, communication is a breeze. If I’m not clear about things, I end up regretting it later. I speak up even if it feels a little unpleasant at the moment, or try a different approach. It can be a hassle but it’s always better that way. So at this point, I feel like I’m at a place where I can excel at anything.
During the LIVE celebrating the fourth anniversary of the group, you reminisced about the I-LAND era with the others. I thought the words, ���Don’t worry, guys, I’ll start, and make sure it works no matter what,” really cut to the pressure you felt throughout the show. Do you feel more relaxed within the group now?
HEESEUNG: I actually said that out of fear. I was a little scared at the time, and I wanted to do well. Now I don’t feel that in the slightest. When we go onstage, it’s like, “Oh, dopamine. This’ll be fun.” I’m the oldest of our Gen Z crew, after all. (laughs) We’ve got pretty good teamwork. We’re having some fun as we go. (laughs) Everyone does their own thing too, but we share the same goal, so it’s like we kind of come together? It’s really unique and fun like that. That’s when I realized I used to have a very rigid idea of what a team is before.
Your closing remarks at the WALK THE LINE concert in Goyang left a big impression: “Honestly, we’re human too, so we have our own share of tough times. But since each and every one of us is so kind and warmhearted, we don’t let it show, and work hard, and help each other out, and things that seemed impossible before became possible.” It seems like you tweaked your teamwork while getting ready for the tour.
HEESEUNG: Whew, that was 100% genuine. Honestly, I don’t think there’s anyone as pure and kindhearted as the members of our group. I’m 23 now, and you meet more and more people out in the world. But truly, the other members are so pure and such incredibly kindhearted people. I’m so grateful how they’re understanding even when I make occasional mistakes.
On the other hand, performing the fan dedication song “Highway 1009,” which you produced yourself, during the WALK THE LINE tour must have been a special experience for you.
HEESEUNG: Oh… I got emotional but tried really hard to hold back my tears. It absolutely filled my heart to the brim. Writing a single song is always an incredibly long process. From sitting alone in the studio and thinking, “Ah, what’ll I do…” and then having that, “Aha, here we go, okay!” feeling, to writing lines, recording vocals, getting approval, and directing, then hearing that melody booming out at a huge concert venue—it was so surreal. It made all the hard work feel so rewarding.
Between doing the FATE PLUS tour and starting the WALK THE LINE tour, in what ways do you feel you’ve grown from performing so much?
HEESEUNG: First there was all this anticipation for the new tour. During the stadium tour, I felt the importance of performing live yet again. I have a really good ear for when I wobble even slightly in pitch during live shows, so I worked through that with a lot of practice.
In the “-note” where you revealed the demo of “Highway 1009,” you said, “I think I was more afraid about working on music than I realized.” I was surprised to hear you say that. You sound very attentive when it comes to songwriting.
HEESEUNG: It’s comparable to cooking, where you get a little nervous when someone tries something you made. “How is it? Is it bad? Too salty? Too sweet?” Kind of like that. But if they tell you something tastes off, then of course I have to fix it—because, whether objectively or subjectively speaking, something’s not right. That was a decent analogy, wasn’t it? (laughs)
You talked about making your own songs in a previous Weverse Magazine interview, and you called yourself “super stubborn.” You seem very open to feedback, though.
HEESEUNG: I mean, it’s not a big deal to change something. (laughs) I have my stubborn moments, but when I’m writing a song, I tend to be super receptive to feedback.
I understand you also prepared meticulously for the making of ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream-.
HEESEUNG: For the single “No Doubt,” the group talked about which musical eras it evokes and how it sounds like older R&B. We also checked out a lot of different music and videos of live performances. We’ve been having lots of meetings on the direction our music should ultimately take as well—whether that means taking a somewhat different approach in terms of genre, wanting to have more hip hop vibes, or something else—but regardless, we have to engage in friendly competition with each other. I think you have to spur each other on when you’re making music.
How was it practicing for “No Doubt” after all that discussion? You’re the one who starts the song off, right?
HEESEUNG: I liked it. (laughs) When I first heard the song, it felt like something I knew I could already do, but something that would be fairly new for the group. The choreography’s way more intense than it looks, too—so much so that it beefed up my legs, even though I don’t work out much. So now I have some muscle in my legs. (laughs) The part in the chorus where we dance with our hands in our back pockets is the highlight of the choreo, and I love that part. It felt like the highlight to me, even when we were shooting the music video.
ROMANCE: UNTOLD, and ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream- after it, revolve around a highly jealous, very lonely vampire boyfriend. Is it similar to your own definition of love?
HEESEUNG: I don’t think of jealousy as love. (laughs) Love is… I don’t know. But I don’t think jealousy is it. That’s just something that arises from feeling insecure.
You said you don’t know much about romance, yet ENHYPEN sings about romantic vampires.
HEESEUNG: Good point. I guess the somewhat idealistic parts of our song lyrics have become a good example for me to follow. (laughs)
Did HEE-roducer make another appearance when you were directing and giving ideas to the other members during the recording sessions for ROMANCE: UNTOLD -daydream-?
HEESEUNG: It never quite reached HEE-roducer levels (laughs) but I did give some feedback on little things here and there during dance rehearsal this time around. Oh—but it’s not like I’m a dance drill sergeant or anything. That would be JUNGWON. (laughs)
You talked in that previous interview about the other ENHYPEN members’ strengths from the perspective of HEE-roducer. What do you consider to be your own strengths?
HEESEUNG: For me… I think my strength is doing things without anyone having to tell me to—trying out creative, new things on my own. And if I’m being honest, I think I’m pretty well-rounded. (laughs)
Is that how you got started with producing—by trying new things?
HEESEUNG: It was to understand myself better. I felt like I wanted to get to know myself. There’s still things about me that I thought I knew but actually don’t, and I think I can uncover those things through music. I want to release my own mixtape and perform it onstage. Oh, and actually, I recently did something I’ve been wanting to do! It was just a cover, but it was part of my dream to perform onstage solo. I covered “Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd at Music Bank in Madrid.
You always struck me as someone who only puts something out into the world when you feel it’s completely ready, but interestingly, during a Weverse LIVE, you said that the performance “was more fun because I didn't really practice before going.”
HEESEUNG: It was almost like a freestyle performance, but it was fun—really fun. Hearing 30,000 people there all cheering just for me was… fun. (laughs)
So you weren’t nervous then, either?
HEESEUNG: For that show? Of course I was nervous. (laughs) But it’s one thing to not want that feeling and another thing to just not feel it. (laughs) I was warming up my voice and practicing my moves until 10 seconds before I went on, but as soon as I got up there, I thought, “Wow, this is gonna be crazy fun,” and all that nervousness turned into excitement.
What motivates you to work like that?
HEESEUNG: How I felt about my dream when I was younger, I guess?
How does it feel now that you’re living your childhood dream?
HEESEUNG: It feels unreal. I didn’t expect to reach this point in my life so soon. It was just four or five years ago that I was worried and skeptical, like, “Can I really do this?” But now I can hardly remember those days of self-doubt because I’m living the dream.
So what would you like to accomplish together with ENHYPEN?
HEESEUNG: My dream with ENHYPEN is to be even better. It’s not about the numbers—it’s about being able to express more through our performances and through our music, and receiving recognition for it. There are certain things in this industry that are set in stone, and I want to break through that. I said at the WALK THE LINE concert in Goyang that I felt like I needed to become a grown-up. Basically, with that, I was signaling that I could show a different side of myself than I used to. I buried my feelings deep down when I was a trainee, and in the same way, I had a bottled up thirst in a musical sense, too. So perhaps it was me hinting that I’m going to change a bit now? Come to think of it, it sounds a bit cringey for someone who isn’t [a hero like] Jeon Woo-chi. (laughs)
#kpop#enhypen#weverse#interview#kpop enhypen#heeseung#lee heeseung#enhypen heeseung#heeseung enhypen#이희승
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New Chapter of We Got Here Together
Got a snippet of the upcoming chapter of my Trust Falls AU. Hope y'all enjoy. I know it's been a bit. Battling writers block, burnout and general life drama makes it harder.
“Where the Hell were you?!”
Stan was ripped from pleasant childhood memories to the present by the deep boom of his brother’s voice. He looked up to see Ford’s face red and his expression a mix of fury and terror. Ford rushed over to him and quickly inspected him for injuries.
“Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought the rift had pulled you in! I thought that I had– I couldn’t find– WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO?!” Ford was clearly not sure if he was more angry or distraught.
Oh, Stan thought. That was stupid of me.
“Hey, no, I was just taking a walk to give you a chance to cool off. I am fine. See?” He gave a big grin and twirled around. “All accounted for. No need to freak out.” Ford’s eyes somehow got even bigger and he shoved his brother’s shoulders roughly.
“Never. Scare. Me. Like. That. Again!” Ford bellowed. Stan put his hands up placatingly, curling his shoulders in on himself in shame.
“I didn’t mean to worry you, just… was trying to be nice. Won’t happen again.” Stan stared down at his shoes, nudging the ground with the toe of his boot.
Ford’s mouth opened and closed a few times and then he groaned and threw his hands up. “See that you don’t!” and with that he stomped back to the safety of the camp, glancing over his shoulder now and then to make sure Stan was following.
Ford sat tinkering with some of the tech as a way to occupy his hands. Stan sat a few feet away, giving him space, and going through the logs on the gauntlet. He glanced up at his brother. “So I saw some cool stuff, you wanna hear about it?” Ford looked over, expression still fierce.
“Yes…!" Stan had to stifle a chuckle at the anger and curiosity battling in his brother’s voice.
After explaining what the gauntlet was telling them and showing Ford the holograph of the scanned mushrooms, Stan asked Ford if he remembered the camping trip they took with their Ma and Pa.
“Oh yea! I had that foraging book and you obtained that sample for me…” Ford looked off into the distance and smiled softly, his previous anger forgotten for the moment.
“Well, Gauntlet says these were munchdooms, so if we go explore together, no samples for now. Unless the tent is hiding some microscopes and gas masks.” Ford snorted at the old joke and his shoulders finally relaxed.
“I wonder if that device would classify capsaicin as ‘segura papa soncumir’” Ford thought aloud. Stan groaned.
“PARA CONSUMIR, Ford. Not Papa. Papas are potatoes. And ‘consumir’ isn’t even that far off from ‘consume’, jeez.” Ford bristled, flushed and glared at his brother.
“I –” his face got gradually redder, his eyebrows deeper. “Stanley, it’s not as if I ever had any need to learn a language like THAT.” Stan raised an eyebrow, mentally daring his brother to cross the line and say what he actually meant. Their parents had never been terribly open-minded when it came to people of other races. They were furious when Shermie had married a Mexican woman.
“Like what, Ford?”
“Like– Like–!”
“Like your niece and nephew speak with their mother?” Ford’s eyes widened and his face went pale. He had the decency to look ashamed and glowered down at his six-fingered hands.
“...I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Glad to hear it.” Stan cleared his throat. He didn’t want to be giving Ford more reason to be upset. He just hated that aspect of Jersey. “Anyway, if you want more lessons in how to entender Spanish, just ask. I’m happy to share whatever I know. Sorry you don’t have a better teacher, but you’re good at working with what you’ve got.” Stan patted his brother’s shoulder and stood up to head into the tent for the nutrition pills.
“You hungry?” Stan called from inside the tent, grabbing two pills.
As he stepped back out, Ford sighed deeply, staring off into the distance. “No, not really.” Stan raised an eyebrow and stepped into his brother’s line of vision, hand on one pushed out hip.
He put on his squeakiest impression of their Ma. “Stanford Filbrick Pines, I slaved over this hot stove for hours to put this meal together, and you WILL eat every last bite, you hear me, young man? There are people who would kill to have the life you have, and the least you could do is be grateful!” Stan punctuated his speech by flipping his longer hair over his shoulder unnecessarily.
Ford laughed so hard he had to lean back and gestured to Stan to give him the pill.
#gravity falls#stanley pines#stanford pines#fanfic#grunkle stan#sea grunks#Trust Falls AU#ao3 fanfic#GF multiverse#segura para consumir
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✨His second exception - Pt. 25/?✨
Summary: The moment Ben found out you were pregnant was probably the happiest moment of his life. However, happiness proved fleeting. Now, he is faced with the aftermath of his shattered dreams. Of what is left of you, and what is left of him.
Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader
Warnings: Language, Fluff, Angst
Word Count: 3966
A/N: This is the sequel to “His only exeption” - and Part 25 of "His second exception".
English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙
You smiled and glanced over your shoulder at Ben, your curiosity getting the better of you. “Got any idea for a name?”, you asked, your voice light, but with a hint of genuine curiosity. You’d been thinking about it yourself, but you wanted to hear what he had in mind.
Ben paused, chewing on the last bite of his pizza as he thought about your question. His brow furrowed slightly, as if he was actually giving it serious consideration.
“Haven’t given it too much thought”, he admitted, though there was a hint of a smirk on his lips, as if he was already toying with a few ideas.
Ben’s smirk lingered, his fingers brushing against your belly absentmindedly as he continued, “But if it’s a boy… maybe something like Jack or Ethan".
You smiled, feeling the warmth of his arms around you, the comfort of being wrapped up with him like this. “Jack”, you repeated thoughtfully, testing the name on your tongue. “I like that. It’s classic”.
Ben nodded, as if satisfied with the choice. “Yeah, solid. No one messes with a Jack”.
You chuckled at that, tilting your head to look at him. “And if it’s a girl?”.
Ben grumbled softly, his voice low and playful, “It won’t be a girl”, he muttered, his hand brushing over your belly as if making his claim known. You could feel his lighthearted stubbornness, the same confidence that he’d been carrying since the beginning, convinced you were having a boy.
You laughed softly, nudging him with your elbow. “You don’t know that”, you teased, glancing back at him with a grin. “It still could be a girl, you know”.
Ben sighed dramatically, though there was a glint of amusement in his eyes. “If it’s a girl, I’m in trouble”, he said, shaking his head as if already preparing himself for the possibility.
You smiled softly, leaning your head against Ben’s chest as you whispered, “I like the name Aria”.
Ben paused for a moment, his hand still resting protectively over your belly. He hummed softly, almost reluctantly, before mumbling, “It’s a good name. Strong, but… still sweet”. His voice was gruff, but there was no mistaking the affection behind it.
Still, he couldn’t resist adding, with a playful grumble, “But it won’t be a girl”.
You rolled your eyes, laughing quietly as you nestled deeper into his embrace. “But what if you’re wrong?”, you teased, looking up at him.
Ben leaned down, his breath warm against your ear as he whispered in that gruff, teasing tone, “I won’t be wrong, you know why?”. He paused for effect, his lips brushing just slightly against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine. “The moment I shot my load, I was only sending my boys”.
You couldn’t help but burst out laughing, shaking your head at his ridiculous confidence. “Oh my gosh, Ben”, you giggled, pulling away slightly to look at him. “You’re impossible!”.
He grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “What? I’m just telling you how it is. Science, baby”.
You playfully smacked his chest, still laughing. “Yeah, well, we’ll see how good your ‘science’ is when we find out it’s a girl”.
Ben chuckled, pulling you even closer against his chest as he mumbled softly, “You’ll see”, his voice carrying that same playful confidence. He pressed a gentle kiss to your temple, lingering there for a moment as if sealing his words with that small, tender gesture. His hand, still resting on your belly, gave a comforting rub, the warmth of his touch grounding you in the moment.
“You’re so sure of yourself”, you teased, looking up at him with a smile, your laughter still bubbling beneath the surface.
Ben’s grin softened as he met your gaze. “I’m always sure of myself”, he said, his tone low and affectionate.
When you and Ben finally returned home, stepping through the door with your suitcases in tow, you were met with an unexpected sight: your parents sitting comfortably on the couch as if they owned the place. Your dad was leaning back with his arms crossed, while your mom sat forward, clearly mid-bicker.
“I’m telling you, he doesn’t have the guts”, your mom said, her voice tinged with playful challenge. “Ben probably chickened out the moment he thought about actually getting down on one knee”.
Your dad snorted, shaking his head. “Are you kidding? The guy didn’t ask for permission—he demanded it. Like he was claiming a damn kingdom”. He crossed his arms tighter. “No way he didn’t go through with it. The man practically made it a decree”.
You froze, your mouth hanging open slightly in surprise as you took in the scene. Ben, standing behind you with a suitcase in each hand, blinked at the unexpected visitors before muttering under his breath, “What the hell?”.
Your mom noticed you first, her eyes lighting up when she saw the two of you standing there. “Oh, there they are!”, she exclaimed, jumping up and rushing over. Her eyes immediately scanned your hand.
Your mom’s eyes grew wide as they locked onto the ring glinting on your finger. She stood frozen for a moment, looking back and forth between you and Ben in disbelief. “He actually did it”, she muttered, her voice soft with shock.
Your dad, who had risen from the couch, let out a booming laugh, his grin stretching wide. “Hah! Told you so!”, he said triumphantly, pointing a finger at your mom. “Now you owe me ten bucks, Darling”.
Your mom shot him a glare, but it quickly softened as her attention returned to the two of you. She stepped closer, grabbing your hand to inspect the ring, her face lighting up with a mixture of amazement and approval. “It’s beautiful”, she whispered, her tone awed before she looked up at Ben. “And you—when did you even—how did you—”.
Ben shrugged casually, though the proud smirk on his face betrayed his nonchalance. “Had it planned for a while”, he said, setting the suitcases down with a thud. “Figured Brazil was the right place to do it”.
Your dad clapped a hand on Ben’s shoulder, his expression full of amused respect. “Gotta admit, kid, you’ve got style”, he said with a chuckle. “But you know, she’s stuck with you now”.
Ben didn’t miss a beat, his smirk turning into a full grin as he shot back, “Oh, don’t worry. She’ll be too busy loving it to mind”.
You groaned, though you couldn’t help but laugh at their banter. “Seriously? You two are ridiculous”.
Your mom pulled you into a hug, still beaming. “Ridiculous or not, I couldn’t be happier”, she said, squeezing you tightly before turning to Ben with an approving nod. “You did good, Ben”.
“Yeah, I know”, Ben replied with a wink, his hand moving instinctively to rest protectively on your back.
Your dad grinned, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the couch. “You know”, he said, his tone light but teasing, “now you’ll have to put up with us for holidays, right? Every single one”.
Ben, ever the cocky one, smirked as he folded his arms and shot back, “Oh, I’m already prepared for that nightmare”.
Your mom, ignoring the banter between the two men, stepped closer to you and placed a hand gently on your now quite prominent belly without even asking. You were used to her motherly habits by now, but it still caught you a little off guard. Her face softened, a warm smile spreading as she spoke. “It’s only ten weeks left until the big day”, she murmured, her voice tinged with excitement. “Is he finally moving more?”,
You sighed, rolling your eyes playfully as you glanced down at your belly. “Why is everybody expecting a boy?”, you muttered, your tone dripping with mock exasperation.
Your dad raised a hand, shaking his head with a grin. “Nah, I’m thinking it’s a girl”, he said confidently, his eyes flicking between you and Ben as if daring him to argue.
Ben leaned forward slightly, narrowing his eyes at your dad with a smirk. “Oh, it’s definitely a boy”, he said, his tone firm. “No way it’s not”.
Your dad scoffed, clearly enjoying the challenge. “We’ll see about that”, he shot back. “I’ve got a feeling about this”.
You groaned dramatically, rubbing your belly with a wry smile. “Great. Even before he´s born, the kid’s already causing debates”.
Shaking your head with an amused smile as you rested a hand on your belly. “And yeah”, you said, glancing between your parents, “he finally made himself known—hard. Kicked the air out of my lungs while we were in Brazil”.
Your mom gasped, her eyes wide with excitement, while your dad leaned forward slightly. “Really?”, your mom asked, her hand moving slightly as if hoping to feel something. “That must’ve been incredible”.
“Incredible? More like shocking”, you replied with a laugh, looking down at your belly. “It was so strong, it actually made me jump".
As you spoke, Ben stepped up beside you and kissed your temple, his touch grounding and affectionate. “Told you”, he murmured quietly, the pride evident in his voice. “Strong little guy. Definitely takes after me”.
You rolled your eyes at his comment, but the warmth in his voice made your heart flutter. “We’ll see”, you said, smiling up at him.
Ben gave your waist a gentle squeeze before straightening up. “I’m gonna get these suitcases out of the way”, he said, nodding toward the hallway. “Don’t go starting any more debates while I’m gone”.
Your dad chuckled. “No promises”.
As Ben disappeared into the bedroom with the suitcases, your mom’s gaze lingered on your belly, her expression soft and full of love. “It’s so exciting”, she said, her voice quiet but filled with emotion. “I can’t wait to meet this little one”.
You smiled, feeling the baby shift slightly under your hand. “Me neither”, you admitted. “But he can stay in there a little longer—I’m not quite ready for all the sleepless nights”.
Your dad leaned back again, crossing his arms with a knowing grin. “Oh, trust me, you’ll be ready when the time comes. And if you’re not, well…”, He gestured toward your mom. “That’s what grandparents are for”.
Your mom laughed, patting his arm. “And don’t you forget it”, she said, winking at you. “We’re just a call away”.
Ben returned just in time to catch the end of the conversation, leaning casually against the doorway. “Yeah, just remember”, he said with a smirk, “grandparents don’t get veto power. This kid’s ours”.
Your mom tilted her head, her hand still resting lightly on your belly as she asked, “Anything odd happening? Any surprises?”.
You shrugged, catching her curious tone. “Not really”, you said, glancing at Ben for a second before looking back at her. “I mean, the cravings have been wild, and I’ve been pretty exhausted lately. But nothing out of the ordinary”.
“Cravings?”, your mom asked with a knowing smile. “What’s been on the menu for you?”.
You laughed softly, rolling your eyes as you leaned back into the couch. “Oh, you name it. Fruit salad one minute, burgers the next, and then pastries and smoothies. It’s like I’ve got an appetite I can’t control, and everything smells so good”.
Ben smirked from his spot in the doorway, crossing his arms. “Don’t forget the five different meals in one day”, he teased, his voice warm with affection. “I’ve never seen anyone eat that much and still have room for dessert”.
You shot him a playful glare, but your mom burst out laughing, shaking her head. “Sounds about right. I remember being like that with you”, she said, her tone light and nostalgic. “And the exhaustion? That’s just par for the course, especially in the last few weeks”.
Your dad chimed in from his seat, a wry grin tugging at his lips. “Yeah, darling”, he said to your mom, “but you weren’t carrying a supe, were you?”.
You sighed, rubbing your belly absentmindedly as you replied, “We don’t even know if he’s got powers or not. He probably will, eventually”, you admitted, glancing at Ben with a small shrug. “But for now, he seems like a normal baby”.
Ben, standing by the doorway, muttered under his breath, “Tomorrow we’ll find out more”. He walked over to sit beside you, his presence grounding. “Next appointment will check his size and, finally, the gender. Since, you know…”, he paused, rubbing the back of his neck, his protective side showing through. “He’s been measuring a bit small”.
Your mom’s smile faded slightly, a flicker of concern crossing her face. “Small? Is that… normal?”, she asked, her tone careful but worried.
You quickly reassured her, your voice calm. “The doctor said it’s nothing to worry about. Just something to keep an eye on”. You placed your hand over Ben’s, squeezing gently. “And he’s definitely moving plenty. Trust me, he’s doing just fine in there”.
Ben nodded, though his jaw tightened ever so slightly. “Yeah”, he said softly. “We’ll get more answers tomorrow”. His hand brushed over your belly in that now-familiar motion, almost like he was silently communicating with the baby.
Your dad leaned forward, his tone lightening the mood. “I’m sure he’s fine. Just waiting to surprise us all. Probably already planning how to take over the world—classic supe kid stuff”.
Ben let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. “Great, just what we need. Another me”.
You rolled your eyes, unable to hold back a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure he’ll be way more charming than you ever were”.
As the evening settled in, you found yourself lying comfortably across Ben’s lap on the bed, your belly resting right in front of him on his thighs. You wore nothing but your underwear, the warmth of the room and the intimacy of the moment making you feel completely at ease. While you twirled the ring on your finger, admiring how perfectly it fit, Ben was rubbing oil on your belly with a mix of focus and clumsy determination.
“Am I doing this shit right?”, Ben grumbled, his voice carrying a tinge of frustration as his large hands slid over your skin. His movements were careful, but he was clearly out of his depth.
You chuckled softly, glancing up at him with a teasing smile. “You’re doing fine, Ben”, you reassured him, though you couldn’t help but laugh at how serious he looked about it.
Suddenly, Ben lifted his hand and licked a bit of the oil off his pinky, immediately scrunching up his face in disgust. “Feels like fucking lube”, he muttered, his expression turning sour as he grumbled, “but tastes like shit”.
You burst out laughing, the sound filling the room as you covered your mouth to stifle the giggles. “Why would you lick it?”, you managed to ask, still laughing as you propped yourself up on your elbows to look at him.
Ben shrugged, his cocky smirk returning despite his initial reaction. “Had to check. For all I know, you’re making me rub motor oil on you”, he teased, though his hands continued their careful motions across your belly.
You shook your head, still smiling as you settled back down. “It’s just regular belly oil, you big idiot”, you teased, feeling the soothing warmth of his touch despite his lack of finesse. “Not everything has to taste good”.
Ben grinned, his hands slowing as he leaned down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “Fair enough”, he murmured, his voice softening as he looked down at your belly. “But you better appreciate the effort, kid”, he added, directing his words toward your unborn child. “Your mom’s already got me doing shit I never thought I’d fucking do”.
"You should talk to him more often", you whispered.
Ben paused his clumsy but earnest rubbing of your belly at your words, his hands still resting on your skin. His brows furrowed slightly as he looked down at you, clearly intrigued. “Talk to him more often?”, he repeated, his voice low and thoughtful.
You nodded, your hand trailing over his thigh as you gazed up at him with those big, adoring eyes that he secretly loved—though he’d never admit it out loud. You could see the way his usual cocky facade softened under your gaze, a rare vulnerability peeking through. “Yeah”, you whispered, your voice warm and full of affection. “I think he’d like that. You know… hearing your voice. Knowing you’re here”.
Ben tilted his head slightly, his lips curving into a small, almost shy smile. He let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head as if to brush off the idea, but his hands stayed steady on your belly. “You really think he’s paying attention in there?”, he asked, his tone a little skeptical but not dismissive.
“I know he is”, you said confidently, your hand moving to rest over his. “And I think it’d mean a lot. You’re already his hero, you know. You’re his dad”.
Ben let out a deep breath, his smirk softening into something more genuine. “Well”, he muttered, his eyes flicking down to your belly, “guess it’s never too early to start, huh?”.
Ben leaned in closer, his large hand pressing firmly but gently against your belly. His voice dropped into a low, rumbling tone, the kind of commanding voice that had probably struck fear into countless opponents, but now it carried an unexpected warmth. “Alright, kid. Listen up”.
You bit your lip to hold back a smile, watching him with quiet awe as he stared at your belly, fully committing to the moment despite the lingering skepticism in his expression.
“I don’t know if you can hear me in there”, Ben continued, his tone softer now, “but you better know one thing—when you get out here, you’re gonna have the best mom in the world”.
Your heart squeezed at his words, your hand instinctively resting over his as he spoke.
“She’s smart, tougher than she looks, and she’s got more patience than anyone I’ve ever met—trust me, I’ve tested it”, he said with a small chuckle, glancing up at you with a grin before refocusing on your belly. “So you’re lucky, kid. Real lucky. Even if she´s a fucking pain in the ass sometimes”.
Ben shifted his hand slightly, his thumb brushing slow circles over your skin. “And me? Well, I’m still figuring this shit out”, he admitted, his voice quieter now, almost hesitant. “But I’ll tell you one thing—I’m gonna do everything I can to keep you and your mom safe. No one’s messing with my family. Not a chance”.
You felt your throat tighten, the emotions of the moment catching up to you. Ben’s gruff honesty, his protective nature, and the way he was opening himself up like this—it was everything.
He glanced back up at you, noticing the way your eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “What?”, he asked, his voice teasing but gentle. “That good enough for you?”.
You smiled through the lump in your throat, nodding as you leaned up to kiss him softly on the lips. “Perfect”, you whispered.
As if on cue, the baby kicked—a strong, deliberate movement that landed right against Ben’s hand. His eyes widened for a moment, clearly startled, before a deep chuckle rumbled from his chest. “Guess he heard me”, he said, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and amusement.
You couldn’t help but laugh softly, placing your hand over his on your belly. “Maybe he’s agreeing with you”, you teased, your voice warm as you leaned closer to him. “Or maybe he’s just saying, ‘Yeah, Dad, I got it’”.
Ben smirked, his thumb brushing over your skin again. “Good”, he murmured, his eyes still locked on your belly like he was waiting for another response. “Better get used to listening to me now”.
Just as he finished speaking, another kick landed, this one softer but still unmistakable. Ben’s grin widened, a rare, unguarded expression of pure joy crossing his face. “He’s got a hell of a kick”, he muttered, his tone laced with pride. “Kid’s gonna be a damn first class soldier”.
You rolled your eyes playfully but couldn’t stop smiling. “Or a dancer. Or an artist. Or, you know, anything that doesn’t involve punching people”.
Ben snorted, shaking his head. “If he’s mine, there’s gonna be some punching. It’s in the DNA”.
Eventually, you shifted slightly, leaning back more fully against Ben’s warm chest, his steady heartbeat soothing you as his arms wrapped protectively around you. One of his hands remained firmly on your belly, where the baby had been kicking moments before. You let out a soft sigh, the weight of the day settling over you like a blanket.
“You really feeling alright?”, Ben asked, his voice low and cautious, the concern evident in his tone.
“Just exhausted”, you mumbled, your eyes fluttering closed as you nestled against him. The truth was, you did feel drained, but nothing out of the ordinary for someone nearing the final stretch of pregnancy—or so you hoped. “The little guy’s keeping me busy”, you added with a weak smile.
But Ben wasn’t convinced. His jaw tightened as he glanced down at you, his gaze lingering on the rise and fall of your belly. A bad feeling gnawed at him, one he couldn’t quite shake. Your pregnancy had been too peaceful so far, almost unnaturally so. And while he’d kept his doubts to himself for the most part, it was becoming harder to ignore the uneasy voice in the back of his mind.
You were just human, after all. And inside you, the first supe baby ever known was growing. Ben couldn’t imagine how your body was managing to handle it all. What if it couldn’t? What if something went wrong? The thought sent a shiver through him, though he kept his face composed for your sake.
He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. “You let me know if anything changes, alright? No toughing it out, no brushing it off”, he murmured, his voice firmer now, edged with his protectiveness.
You opened your eyes briefly, glancing up at him. “I promise”, you said softly, though you couldn’t help but notice the tension in his jaw, the way his grip on you seemed just a little more desperate than usual. “Ben, I’m okay. Really”.
His lips pressed into a thin line, but he nodded. “Yeah”, he muttered, though his tone lacked conviction. “Let’s keep it that way”.
As you drifted off to sleep, the exhaustion finally catching up with you, Ben stayed awake. His hand never left your belly, his mind racing with thoughts of what might come. He’d do anything to keep you and the baby safe—he just hoped he wouldn’t have to.
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A/N: Please let me know what you think. 🥰
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Taglist: @deangirl96, @thatgirljayy, @suckitands33, @deans-spinster-witch@mimaria420@kaz11283@uncle-eggy@jackles010378@vxnilla-hxrddrugs @meowmeowyoongles@sarahgracej @zemosdarling228 @leila22rogers @mostlymarvelgirl@emily-winchester @blacknoirr @onlyangel-444@seasonofthenerd@staple-your-mouth@artemys-ackles@selfdestructionandrhum@mystic-mara @kat-nee @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @star-yawnznn @me1501 @CheyNovaK @faephoria @hobby27 @baby19sthings @fitxgrld @winchesterwild78 @uddiifiigj @libby99hb @urgogodancer @urinternetmom @mochminnie @laaadygisbooornex3 @fallout-girl219
#jensen ackles#soldier boy#soldier boy x reader#the boys#soldier boy x y/n#soldier boy x female reader#soldier boy fanfiction#soldier boy x you#the boys soldier boy#ben x you#ben x reader#ben#the boys amazon#the boys tv#his second exception
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Fanfiction Author Interview Game
Thank you for the tag, @kotaka-kun! I'm trying to get back into writing and am forcing myself to get in a better fic-writer mindset.
How many works do you have on AO3?
14 (but more on FFN, from the olden times)
What's your total AO3 word count?
209.294 (442,145 on FFN)
Your top 5 stories by kudos/likes:
Unsung
Out of the Woods
Old Haunts
Turnabout
Restoration
(If we're considering legacy FFN stuff, By Starlight would fall just after Unsung, and The Ivory Tower would probably be on the list, but since it's forever unfinished I like to pretend it doesn't exist.)
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Usually! Although they sometimes fall through the cracks. I am really, really appreciative of comments and try to respond earnestly, but I feel like my replies start to sound like a broken record and it's awkward.
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
IIIII don't know. Maybe Burn? I almost always turn angst into a happy ending by the end of the story. It's self-preservation.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
See previous answer—can't pick one!
Do you write crossovers?
I have not attempted to yet!
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
I've received several passive-aggressive comments and seen some not-nice things said about my work elsewhere, but I'm not sure I've gotten any straight-up hate comments, thankfully.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I do; it's usually a part of a story and not the sole reason for it (though I have done that, too).
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of...
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes, Unsung and maybe something else (?) (it's been a while) has been translated into Chinese.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, I think I would drive a co-author insane.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
Uhhhh I can't pick, actually...I'll come back to this later (I won't)
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
Red Death Riding JUST KIDDING but it does feel like that sometimes. Still, we persevere.
What are your writing strengths?
Ughghgh I don't know. I’ve been told I'm good at pacing, and that balance between like inner thoughts and external goings-on. (There is a better way to say that, but I'm tired.) Um...I think I'm pretty good at sentence flow? And...punctuating correctly? I sure hope I'm decent at character development. And I like to think I bring original ideas to the table.
What are your writing weaknesses?
The ideation of it all (though this hasn't always been the case—it's a work in progress), and honestly just getting words on the page. It's so hard to turn off the editor brain I use for work, and I feel like I'm always editing myself before, during, and after every sentence. I also wish I could delve deeper into the thoughts and reactions of characters who aren't like me.
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
Not a huge fan. It can be OK if done well, but it often takes me out of the narrative.
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
I have enough trouble focusing on my current fic/fandom as it is! Don't make me think about other things!
What's your favorite fic you've written?
I honestly don’t have one. I see each fic as a stepping stone in the course of my writing journey—a challenge that I issued to myself and completed—and I'm usually looking forward to the next challenge instead of back.
I haven't been around much lately and don't know who all has done this! I'll try tagging @musicalhell @les-gnossiennes-fantomatiques @emotionalmotionsicknessxx and @rienerose (but please feel free to ignore!).
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Imma tell you guys right now though, “companies make better security” is never gonna be the answer. They can’t employ even half as many people as those who will be actively trying to break any system they build
Human error is always going to be a problem, because humans are involved in the system and computers can only use what you put in
They can’t tell if it’s you typing your password, your mom you gave it to, or a rando in the street who bought it online without some kind of check
It’s still a major problem for MFA and 2FA to be as phone dependent as they are, but the solution is gonna be a lot more complicated than you may think
Face ID is not reliable, and there’s a reason Apple abandoned fingerprint ID. The actual easiest way to solve the phone problem would literally be free government subsidised phones, and that still won’t help disabled folks
Even if your MFA is set up with two email accounts instead of a phone, you still need access to at least one of them. Forget both passwords? Bye
And you’re still switching between devices
One of the fun and exciting things the Ontario government used to do was give everyone a tiny little device to clip to their keys that you press the button and it gives you a string of digits for your MFA
Guess what happened A Lot?
People fucking lost them
Human error can NEVER be eliminated from a computer system because the second you think “no one would ever fuck that up” 10 million people will prove you wrong
And this is why where I work we have a popup function to make people pinky promise they know what happens when they delete a file
Guess why
Accessibility NEEDS to be part of the conversation around these types of developments, but the part that sucks the most is… it beats the alternative
My partner doesn’t own a phone, I need to be physically beside him for him to log into his bank and to get the bank to use my phone number we had to go in, in person, before we could get his government ID renewed during COVID, to prove it was him
The poor poor teller then tried to offer him a credit card as consolation for him not legally existing, and this is the fun part that actually isn’t related to his disabilities
He doesn’t exist on bank servers
He can’t apply for any credit card ever, even with all the ID up to date
So trust me, I’m not downplaying how much 2FA and MFA suck
I also have the ADHD, and according to my therapist I have somehow acquired ALL the types of ADHD
I’ve just worked in software long enough to understand the alternatives currently still suck just the tiniest bit more
But if you want a super fucking secure password, use a suffix, and make that suffix an acronym and some numbers
So, if your suffix is: I Hate Passwords 1234
It becomes ihp1234
And your facebook password can be: YourName-ihp1234
It’s an easy way to have a secure password that you’ll remember, and you can use different ones for each website that pertain to the website
So your facebook password can be: FB-ihp1234
And your tumblr can be: tumblr-ihp1234
Some sites will have special key requirements that force you to have something like a ! Or ?
Some sites will not allow you a password with those same keys
It’s a fuckery, but having a formula at least narrows down the process of creating a new password when you forget the old one, and no one else is gonna guess it without your help
resharing this oldie because i just got a new laptop and the number of times i am being required to login to things, login to a DIFFERENT app/program/password manager/authenticator, provide a number, and then login again is making me fucking INSANE
#bad news friends#it sucks#and it will continue to suck#and we still don’t have any better ideas#but i used to scare the pants off my fellow students in college by reciting their student ids back to them#if i can do that i can delete your school assigned database and all your homework#because yes in some places you literally can type code straight into a text box and reprogram the receiving device#frankly preventing that is the easiest thing ever but it requires security experts#and not everyone pays for those#software security really does need more time money and effort from just everyone#but even the best of the best have 2FA
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TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog
“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”
High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”
Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.
Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.
“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”
“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.
High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.
Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”
“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”
Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”
“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.
“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.
He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-
Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.
Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.
Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!
And catch him, High General Windu sure did.
“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”
“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.
“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”
“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.
Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”
#commander fox#corrie guard deserves better#sw tcw fic idea#look fox has been planning this coup for a while okay he just needed to adjust and get over the initial reaction of Fuck No#if they’re sentient enough for their signatures to have authoritative quality on military reports and to be promoted to chancellor on a#technicality then they’re sentient enough for everything to be victims of systemic oppression and abuse#fox still does not want this position and will yeet it the literal second bail organa isn’t watching his step religiously#a custody battle ensues between Corries and GAR ori’vode for who grts to tackle him (affectionate)#it is solved by getting a bigger room so they can all do it at once#thorn makes a point of jamming his elbow in some soft places. cody and co are disgruntled but accepting of this#he has a bit of a point admittedly and wolffe has to promise not to threaten murder again#plo makes him go to another Effective Interpersonal Communication Seminar (it’s the fifth that year)#anakin is initially outraged on padme’s behalf but she could literally not be happier#fully supportive of being arrested in the name of Fox’ Good#we can still do book club though right she asks. visiting hours don’t apply to chancellor probably#fox shrugs. it’s his next act as chancellor#count dooku: live slug reaction#the systemic issues fuelling the war cannot be solved with a phone call but in absence of someone with two braincells to rub together#the whole thing loses steam and strategy steadily#look it was always a sham that house of cards of a republic/confederacy was waiting to be blown over by literally any light breeze#general grievous implodes from pure rage. legend has it his last word was KENOBAAYYYYY. wipes away tear#thorn laughs so hard when he hears all this he cracks a rib#another day another post of utter nonsense#ponds makes sure to give his fox’ika a hug as soon as he’s floated down bcs ponds is the best#which is why he didn’t get it in the last ficlet for anyone wondering#the only functional one#much like mace windu
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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this is maybe delving a little too much into apologia for veilguard’s writing but for the purpose of giving it the benefit of the doubt i don’t think it’s necessarily fair to say the lack of “mean” companions or dialogue options for rook is “sanitizing” it. ultimately they wrote a story that’s about offering kindness and seeking connection through understanding. having a big ol stinker of a character that’s difficult and challenging to engage with or having the option to play as someone who is genuinely ruthless and uncaring undermines that immensely.
like anders and vivienne work in their respective stories because their character arcs cohere to the overall thematic conflicts of the games that they are in. they were about these big issues that people have very different and relatable feelings and opinions about. so yes, i would say veilguard did pull back a lot on that as a mechanic and i understand why that makes the game feel hollow for a lot of people.
but the story they set out to write isn’t one that’s about big political issues affecting the world at large. it is at its heart a very personal story confronting the very personal emotions we have about self reflection and growth. how do you write a character offering a different view on that? “fuck personal growth and learning from your mistakes! wallow in your misery!” lol obviously there’s probably a more artful way of doing that but i understand why they didn’t go in that direction. also it would sort of end up being redundant anyways because that’s basically solas’s main character conflict.
there is a certain way to play veilguard where you do encourage less growth and reinforce the idea that we can’t escape our past, which i think turns the game into a bittersweet tragedy. played another way though it is a game that challenges your empathy and ability to overcome your own faults and see how that connects you to others.
though i do think they could have absolutely hit that theme harder with rook as the protagonist. (and there's an argument to be made ofc at how the inquisitor could have worked just as well if not better in this role, but that's also getting into sticky game dev issues and is a whole 'nother post lol.) the whole reason thedas is facing a crisis is due to something that rook did. you can offer vague lip service to them feeling responsible but it’s not a failing the game meaningfully confronts. as disastrous as solas tearing down the veil might have been, rook accidentally unleashing elgar’nan and ghilan’nain has to be just as bad if not worse due to the barely contained blight. the choices that rook is meant to be regretful over work to an extent, but it would have been so juicy to have solas point out rook’s pride in believing they knew best about dealing with solas and his ritual. it’s something he could really nail you on and i think it would make their parallels stronger.
ultimately i think what i'm seeing people feel veilguard’s main failing is is that it simply isn’t the right sequel thematically to the first three games that it should be. it’s not a bad game and the writing shows a great degree of understanding of thematic structure and internal character conflict. it doesn’t hit as hard for most because all of the problems the previous games had us grappling with aren’t present. it presents an entirely new problem that in my opinion it does! do a decent job of exploring, but it’s not the problem players expected so it feels very disconnected from the rest of the series.
#madelyn rambles#a veilguard tag#lmao this started as such a different train of thought#also to be clear i haven’t seen any of the art book#(mine still hasn’t arrived yet 😩)#so i know there’s a lot of what the original plan for da4 was out there#but i don’t know what it is lol#i think it's likely that version would have fit better with da1-3 thematically#(from what i have seen glimpses of and where i thought the story was going post dai)#idk what exactly motivated the change in story#if it was a budgetary decision to limit scope#or simply the writers aging and being interested in different kinds of stories#or simply today’s political discourse climate#influencing the much kinder idea of conflict resolution that’s present in dav#i would have absolutely loved to see that original game!#but the cheesy sap in me can’t help but love the game we got anyways#even though i will always mourn the Game That Never Was
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HI TUMBLRR it’s me
#I ate ramen just now it was soooo god I think ramen is just it just is better after 10pm#im right#ughhh ok that actually reminded me earlier my classmate was making an Asian people eat dogs joke like he put on this awful accent and he wa#all like ‘dog tastes so good with rice’ and then he did other stuff too#but what really made me upset is that someone who I thought was my friend found it really humorous! wow okay!#I know it’s not really a big deal but im still kind of sad like I’ve lost all my respect for you now#anddd they were my only friend in the class so now I’m stuck there for the rest of the semester I guess . I mean I’ll still be nice to them#but I just don’t think I can bring myself to like them anymore sorryyy . not really . but kind of#idk if I’m overreacting . in elementary school though people would make jokes actually about me eating dog and it always made me really sad#but I never held it against them cause we were children#but now I feel like you’re old enough to know what you’re laughing at..#wow ok this really derived away from me being on tumblr and having just ate the worlds best ramen#well . not really I mean it was good but I’m allergic to normal noodles and I need to eat rice noodles and they’re not bad I just don’t lik#them as much Lol#I feel like my actual posts say nothing but if anyone ever reads the tags they probably know everything about me..#I use tumblr to complain half the time loll and I used to post my drawings more but I haven’t made any good drawings recently😭😭😭BUT WAIT!#i have a comic I’ll post in October we’ll see how far I am in it by then…#im like . halfway done with chapter oneeeee so maybe like I’ll post all of chapter one on hallowern.. how does that sound… cause actually#for those of you who don’t know my story has ghosts in it#im like trying to keep it a little silly right now but the tone might shifftttt idk!!!!! we’ll seeeeeeee cause actually I have NOT worked#out the entire plot.. just like. most of it.#but I keep having ideas like midway through ughhh it’s an endless cycle!!!!!#like Francis . she used to be a random character who shows up once but then I was like . wait no! anjali should have ghost friends! and tha#that’s how Francis came to be#and actually today I kind of finalized her design^_^ albeit in my math notebook lol
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Sometimes I think about how writing is received by the osc, particularly in comparison to art itself, and while I get that the community is for obvious reasons very visually driven, I feel like writing as a creative form just. Isn’t given as much credence. And I don’t mean this in a ‘pitting art/animation and writing against eachother’ kind of way, or in a ‘folks don’t care about/pay attention to the writing of a show’ way—both art and writing are important but different, and folks talk about good vs bad writing in shows all the time, at least. Rather, i think if your someone who buy n large just writes, your work is much more likely to be passed over, particularly if you don’t really write much fanfic. Folks just aren’t interested. Which is kind of a shame, honestly! It can be tricky sometimes to adapt objects to more literary storytelling forms, but imo it’s a fun challenge, not to mention that it opens the door to all sorts of different tools and angle you can use to tell your story. Not to mention that it can be more accessible than digital art and animation for some folks. Like. I want a novelized object show. Or something consistent of letters or news articles or an anthology of poems. I wish more regard wasn’t given to just writing is all, particularly in regards to original/non-fanfic writing
#not entirely sure how to phrase this thought#but it’s like. I’ve seen folks have really neat object show/story ideas but not make em cause they lack art skills and it’s like#(or they feel they lack art skills rather but still)#no!!! please don’t let that scare you off!!! write it!!! wrangle a team of writers the same way you’d wrangle a team of artists for a show!!#we need an osc literary mag Stat.#also YES I am super biased given that I think of myself as a writer first but still#also I think writing in shows could improve overall if folks treated it as it’s own thing worthy of respect n exploration#for lack of better phrasing idk#but that’s more teathered to the thoughts that shows should go hog wild more. get into it when you have a weird idea don’t be scared of it#don’t just nudge it in there a bit PUSH IT IN THERE!!! jump in the deep end go nuts!!! you can always pull back if you need to!!!#rambles#honestly I think much of this is just a#microcosm regarding how online communities tend to treat writing vs art from my observation? in part because most big platforms aren’t made#for it so writing-centric aspects of a community have to crop up on other sites instead#if that makes sense#if ANY of this made sense actually#osc
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I’m feeling really proud about the things I did this weekend at work for my favorite of our events/duties. And if I’m being honest the stuff I put together and the way I briefed my coworkers on what to do and my public interaction + the things I’m envisioning for the future… I keep thinking about when my coworker told me “if anyone is going to take over for [museum] paul and match his level of enthusiasm, it’s going to be you”
like modesty aside I feel really good about what I did/will do and I just really feel like I’m channeling MP a lot and that’s just so super.. 2me
#mp#I actually just found a video of him doing a short 2min public program from a few years ago#and 💕💕#that guys incredible#there is no one like him on the planet#I’m so so grateful I met him and had the opportunity to learn from him#just a wonderful human being#and educator#I miss him#I love the event we did too it’s just full of people I really love doing things I really care about and I feel so welcome by them it’s nice#it’s nice I can just be grateful to him and have love for him and be proud of myself ..all by myself#I know I don’t need him which is good but i still just miss him.#it would just be nice to be able to communicate with him about any of this#I miss working with him and making myself and work better through his constructive criticism and ideas and advice and example#and I miss him telling me he’s proud of me and praising me#and I miss when he didn’t need to say anything and did that cheeky ‘oh just look at you’ smile#and I miss watching a master at work#and I miss being around him as a person
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fun news everyone i abandoned the assignment i was working on (bad) but i also started and finished everything due tuesday which means all of my focus tmrw can be on abandoned assignment (good)
#uwhnfng still no idea how to go abt completing first assignment. going to go to his office hours maybe?? we also have class before it’s due#and it will definitely be brought up then too but#i don’t like him. i really don’t want to go to his office hours lahdjf but idk what else to do. ask the girl sitting next to me how she did#it i guess since i know she finished up at least the bit that i am stuck on. but i know i should also go to the office hours 🤕#personal#the engineering chronicles#trying to convince myself smth is better than nothing but i don’t even know if that’s true bc the assignment due tuesday that i just#finished the prof will give a zero if Any part of it doesn’t work exactly how he wants like what if this guy is the same 😭😭 there’s no#rubric posted idk!!
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