#and we know how he deals with it (sometimes sam might not survive it)

[lambmotifz]

dean threatening to “hunt” sam after witnessing sam using his powers in s4 is such a blatant attempt to reestablish control over him. “do you even know how far off the reservation you’ve gone? how far from normal? from human?” = “you’re not my sammy anymore”. the main reason for his abusive actions in s4 isn’t fear, it’s his inability to acknowledge sam as his own person, it’s his anger at the fact that sam has become more independent in his absence

[theguardiansseries]

From the Beginning - Chapter 4: Danny Is Brave Despite His Friends’ Best Efforts (He Also Discovers The Benefits Of Soup)

A/N: When you have your outline squished together so what should have been separated into two chapters is instead one big chapter, but that just makes it read better anyways. Enjoy the "Mystery Meat" episode!

Reminder that updates are (hopefully) every Wednesday and Saturday and that I survive off of comments and kudos!

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Rating: Teen Audiences

Summary:

Dani Fenton (who is sometimes starting to go by Danny Fenton) is a fifteen-year-old almost sophmore who was just going about her normal life when she figured out she sort of liked being seen as a boy. Oh, then he (he had definitely been a he at the time) got shocked by a machine his parents built to view into another world that they believed contained a world of ‘ecotplasmic entities.’

Danny really isn’t sure how to tell them that they were right and that he was in the machine when it turned on and that maybe he isn’t so human anymore. (He might also not be a girl anymore, but that one was a little more difficult to explain than the fact that he ((she?)) might be half-ghost.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54944266/chapters/139959616

Chapters: <<First>> <Prev || Next>

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Chapter Four: Danny Is Brave Despite His Friends’ Best Efforts (He Also Discovers The Benefits Of Soup)

It was more of an effort to not laugh than it should have been, but Danny figured he was allowed to laugh at his friends’ misery when he was suffering from the same thing. 

Sam didn’t seem to think so, glaring up at him and muttering a whisper-soft, “I know where you live.” The words were nearly drowned out over the frenzy that was the cafeteria room, but it still managed to make Danny give in and laugh fully.

“Yeah, you do, but could you even make it up the stairs to kill me? I’m pretty sure you’d collapse before even making it through the front door.” The sad part was, it didn’t seem like much of an exaggeration when all three of them were exhausted, sleep deprived, and trying to figure out how the hell they had been given so much homework when it was only Friday of their first week. “C’mon, guys, at least we have the weekend to look forward to!”

“Yeah, the weekend we’ll be using to do fifty pounds of homework,” Tucker muttered, everything about him dripping with bitterness. “Do you think the teachers hate us? Is that what this is? Or are they trying to weed out the weak?”

“Probably want us all to commit suicide so they don’t have to deal with us,” Sam grumbled, Danny fighting to not laugh again even as Tucker did. “School was not this exhausting last year.”

Danny shrugged, nibbling on a fry, “Dunno. Maybe they’re trying to figure out the smart ones from the dumb ones early.” A glance down at his tray showed that while he had eaten a lot of his lunch already, there was still a good amount left. He was still starving and hungry as hell a lot, but he at least wasn’t scarfing everything down that he could get his hands on like he had in the beginning of the week. “Which means me and Tuck are doomed.” 

“Hey,” Tucker frowned. “I’m smart!” Mm… was he, though? Danny figured the thought must have shown up on his face since Tucker looked even more offended. “Hey!”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, Tuck, you’re a genius when it comes to coding and hacking and tech and stuff, but… You kind of suck at everything else.”

There was a long silence, Danny waiting for a response before Tucker looked away and sullenly started sipping on his chocolate milk. It was way more hilarious than it should have been, especially when he saw Sam trying to fight back her own laughs. It was possible all the homework might have caused them to suffer from a little bit of hysteria.

“Okay, okay,” Sam said as soon as she was able, sitting back up. “Whose house is up first for homework duty-”

“Not it!” Danny and Tucker both shouted immediately, which, excellent. That meant a study session at Sam’s who was rich and, therefore, had the best study snacks. Sam didn’t even look surprised, anymore! 

“How generous of you boys, truly,” Sam drawled, Danny quickly taking a bite of whatever was closest to hide the stupid grin he could feel forming. It wasn’t his fault being counted as ‘one of the boys’ was starting to become a pretty good feeling. “Speaking of you boys, Danny! Did you finally learn to breathe between bites?”

“Ha ha,” Danny said with as dry a tone as he could muster, not keeping it up long before he was smiling at his friends’ looks. “I dunno, just… I’m still really hungry, but it doesn’t feel like I’m Godzilla waking up from a thousand year long nap, you know?”

Tucker snorted with laughter while Sam shook her head, smiling anyways, “At least there’s that. How’d your check up with the doctors go on Wednesday?”

“Yeah, how’d your escape from the second half of classes go,” Tucker pretended to frown, Danny rolling his eyes and flicking a fry at him. At least, Danny was pretty sure it was a fry. 

“It went fine.” Which was something Danny had already told the two, but, God, it would take someone a lot stronger than Danny to get them to stop worrying over him. “I’m still, you know, not the best, but they’re happy that I seem to be stable and don’t have anything that’s, like, really wrong, you know?”

Not to say he was perfectly alright. He was still dropping almost everything he picked up or tried to hold, but he wasn’t shaking or losing his balance as much anymore. His breathing still wasn’t the best, either, and his heart rate was still kind of trashed, but he at least didn’t struggle for air after walking from his house to the end of the block! 

“The only thing that sucked was that Jazz spent an hour grilling the doctors about the best way to follow the aftercare instructions,” Danny continued, trying not to think back to the pure embarrassment at Jazz’s motherly concern and craziness. “Not sure if she’s just that worried, or if she was trying to make some kind of point because Mom and Dad weren’t there.” Ah… and there were the shared looks.

Tucker was the first to speak, as the more ‘relaxed’ friend, so him speaking first made it seem less like an interrogation, “Your parents didn’t go to the appointment with you? Or were they waiting in the car or lobby or something?” 

Sam was next, pushing in deep and trying to drive the point home and get Danny riled up into confessing what they all already knew, “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course Danny’s parents would go with him to a doctor’s appointment when it comes to something like this.”

“You know,” Danny finally managed after a few seconds. “This was a lot more effective before I broke down your team interrogation techniques. Now it’s just sad.” Ah, the annoyed, upset looks of his best friends. Balance was restored. “They were at home working on the Portal- I mean, I told you guys what happened, right? The whole self-sustaining thing?”

As expected, Tucker was quick to leap onto the subject of self-sustaining energy, “Dude, I still can’t believe your parents might be about to crack into a source of self-sustaining energy that’s actually, you know, self-sustaining.” 

“Might,” Sam stressed. “If this really is running off of- Of ectoplasm or whatever it is, then we have no idea what that could do to someone if they’re exposed to it. I mean, we once thought radiation was safe, too.” 

“Damn,” Danny muttered, looking at Tucker. “I think she won that one because that’s… That’s a really good point.” 

“But she always wins!” Before Danny could think of a response at Tucker’s loud, dramatic whining, he felt his back bend and his nails dig into his palms at the sudden race of electricity that burned through him like he had shoved a fork into a socket and- “Danny? Hey, whoa, what’s wrong?” 

“I-” Danny cut himself off, shuddering as the feeling began to fade, instead turning into something like a low, pouding sense of worry at the back of his mind. “I just- It felt like I was just shocked, just now, but… not. You know?”

His friends both had looks that made it seem like no, they did not know, and Danny wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or grateful when the bell warning them of their next class screeched through the air. Shaking his head and standing up, Danny muttered a quick, “Nevermind. Probably just the normal static shock.” Except it hadn’t felt like it. 

It was more like an exposed wire had been pressed to his skin and then pulled away only to linger in the air just behind him, ready to zap him all over again the second he made the wrong move or choice. It was like an ever-evolving anxiety attack and he was half-tempted to ask Jazz if any of her psychology books had anything on something similar because jesus. 

Already keyed up even while the three were just dumping their trash from lunch, he wasn’t even surprised when some loud banging from the kitchen sent him jumping into the air and almost knocking both himself and Tucker to the ground. “Whoa, dude, you okay?” 

“I-” Danny cut himself off, grateful that he had already thrown his trash into the actual trash can rather than flinging it onto Tucker or some random kid behind them. “You guys heard that too, right? The…” Words running out, Danny gestured vaguely towards the kitchen. 

“Sounded like someone back there might have knocked a pot or something over,” Sam said, standing close by on Danny’s other side and hovering like she was about to catch him. It would have been sweet if Danny wasn’t ready to crawl out of his skin from anxiety. 

“I- I mean. I know the bell just rang, but would- Would you guys come with me to just check? Real quick?” Danny should not be this close to some kind of anxiety attack. He had a weird feeling and now he was just feeding into his terror or something like that. Jazz would have had the words for it, but Danny knew enough to know that he was just scaring himself and he needed to calm down. Still. What if it was something and not just a bad feeling? 

“Yeah. Yeah, sure. We can check it out real quick.” Sam headed for the kitchen doors with a sense of confidence and purpose that meant no one would stop her, Tucker still sort of holding him up as he followed after her and tugged Danny along. (She wasn’t really feeling much like ‘Danny’ anymore.)

“Well, that’s a fun thing to learn,” Dani muttered under her breath, not surprised when Tucker noticed and gave her a questioning look, because Tucker only ever seemed to be observant when she was freaking out. “Not really feeling much like a guy when I’m this… anxious?” 

“There’s probably some insanely long lecture on feminism that Sam has memorized to explain it if you want to ask,” Tucker teased, Dani feeling a little better. 

She then felt a million times worse when they all got to the kitchen door and pushed it open to see that the lights were flickering and dimming before shutting off entirely. Dani gulped and she felt Tucker go still, whispering a horrified, “We’re in a horror movie.” 

“We are not in a horror movie,” Sam snapped, which was a clear enough indicator that she was just as on edge as them. “The lights probably started acting up and caused one of the cooks to drop something.” 

“Are lunch ladies really cooks?” Tucker asked, injecting just enough stupid humor into the situation that Dani didn’t feel like she was going to faint in terror as they crept forward into the kitchen. The door swinging shut behind them made her feel like some dramatic death toll should be going off in the background. “Like, genuinely-” 

“Yes, they are,” Sam said firmly. “And also because one of the cooks here identifies as a man, and it’d be rude to refer to him as a ‘lunch lady.’” Huh. Dani wouldn’t have really thought about that even a couple months ago, but that was a good point. 

“Maybe he likes being referred to as a lunch lady. Maybe he finds it funny.” Ah, Tucker. He was doing his best, but Dani could hear the way his voice was shaking. Not that she was much better, gripping onto Tucker’s arm hard enough that it was probably going numb.

Before the ‘fight’ could continue, there was another clanging sound, like something heavy and metal hitting the floor. It had all three of them poorly stifling their screams as they jumped into each other hard enough to nearly send them to the ground. Dani wasn’t sure how they managed to catch their balance, but all three of them stayed standing.

Dani hadn’t even looked up from making sure her feet weren’t about to trip over each other again when she felt static rolling across her skin, nowhere near as strong as it had been earlier, but enough to make her snap her head up to see that there was some light in the kitchen. 

And it was coming from a ghost. 

Dani couldn’t tear her gaze away even as she wanted to look at her friends’ faces to see if they were seeing the same thing. Judging by the way Tucker was now gripping her arm tightly enough to bruise, she had to assume they were. 

“Oh dear, oh dear… No, no, this is all wrong.” The actual real life ghost in front of them was speaking and mumbling to herself like some fretful old lady who had forgotten something. It was definitely a ghost, though, because Dani could see through her to the wall of pots and pans behind her. She could also see the way she was floating seven inches off the ground. (Seven? Six? It was enough to be noticeable!)

“Oh, hello, dearies.” Ah. The ghost had seen them. The ghost was now talking to them. “Could you tell me who changed the menu?”

Dani opened her mouth to maybe pray to some god she wasn’t sure she actually believed in when Tucker beat her to it. “Do you mean all the salads and junk that Sam added?” 

That was enough to get Dani to turn her head to look at him, shocked that one of her best friends was that stupid. He was even pointing at Sam! Who looked just as incredulous! Yeah, okay, there was no accounting for what someone said when they were going through shock and extreme amounts of fear, but still! 

“Oh. You changed the menu?” The ghost who looked like a lunch lady straight out of the fifties with a pink uniform and hair net and gloves and everything was looking at Sam now and Dani was really hoping that this was some weird dream she would wake up from after falling asleep at lunch. Or maybe they were mass hallucinating. That was a thing, right? “You changed the menu.” Oh. That wasn’t a question that time.

Before Dani could say anything, she saw some of the pots behind the ghost beginning to float up into the air, wrapped in the same glowing light that came from the ghost — who was looking a lot angrier than she had a second- Holy fucking shit. 

Staring with wide eyes at the huge cast iron pot that had slammed into the wall hard enough to dent it after just barely missing Sam’s head, Dani was pretty sure her brain went offline for a couple of seconds in shock. She then decided she could go into shock when she was dead and shoved Tucker hard enough that she might as well have body-checked him before doing the same to Sam and screaming, “Run!” 

It was then Danny who turned back and kept himself between the ghost and his friends.

Let me be brave, Danny thought to himself fiercely, because Danny wasn’t the shy, meek little girl who avoided any sign of confrontation and tried her best to be quiet. Danny was someone who was learning to speak up for himself and was bad at it, but was trying. Danny was the one who was starting to let himself take up space and try to figure out just who he was. 

So it was Danny who grabbed the fallen pot off the ground as his friends ran and threw it up into the air at another one that had been flying towards them. Through some miracle of luck it actually managed to hit, the two making a loud clanging sound that hurt his ears and had him hurrying out the door after his friends.

He didn’t bother to waste his breath to tell his friends to keep running, only shoving them forward when he saw they had slowed down to make sure he was behind them. He made sure it was a decently powerful shove considering he heard more pots clanging into the walls and door of the kitchen, the cafeteria now empty with no witnesses which meant no one to see what the hell was going on. 

It wasn’t until they were a couple of hallways away, all empty since everyone who didn’t have a deadly sense of curiosity was in class, that Tucker was squeaking out a high-pitched, “What the hell?!” 

“Inside, inside, inside,” Sam chanted, jerking open a door into an empty classroom before pushing them all inside and then shutting and locking it. Danny watched as her legs gave out and she slid down to the floor, Tucker not doing much better as he propped himself up against a desk. “That- That was… Was that really-?”

“That was a ghost.” Tucker’s face was paler than Danny had ever seen and enough to spur him into grabbing a chair and dragging it over before pushing him into it. “That was actually- Ghosts can’t do shit like that- Ghosts aren’t real like that!” 

Still gasping for breath he didn’t have, and knowing his heart was going way too fast, Danny finally managed a weak, “That wasn’t a ghost.” As soon as his friends looked at him like he was insane, he shook his head. “No, listen, that- That was everything my parents have ever told me about. That was an ectoplasmic entity or whatever it is that they’ve been studying.” Which meant… “Holy shit, they were right.” 

“Dani, girl-”

“Boy again. Sorry.” 

“Danny, man, I love you, but what the hell does that have to do with what’s going on right now? And the fact that we’re about to die?” 

Making a note to beam over Tucker’s casual acceptance of how he was switching between genders like dresses before a party, Danny forced himself to focus and dug out his phone. “It means that we can call my parents and they can come down here and actually do something about it.” 

Pulling up his contacts quickly, Danny heard Sam muttering something before her voice pitched up in something between offense, rage, and hurt, “You ratted me out to a ghost?” 

“I panicked! I thought-! She looked like my grandma, I didn’t think she’d suddenly start throwing kitchenware at us!” Alright. That was a decent point, actually. 

Phone ringing, Danny blew out a breath when it connected and he heard his mom’s voice. “Danielle? Sweetie, what’s wrong? You’re supposed to be in class right now, aren’t you?” 

“Mom-” Voice breaking, Danny realized just how tense and terrified he still was, all his energy thrumming under his skin like static before lightning struck. (He really needed to stop focusing on the static and lightning analogies, if only so he could stop remembering how much he had screamed.) “Mom, I need you and Dad to come to the school, right now.” 

“Danielle, honey, we’re right in the middle of our work. Something odd is happening with the EMD and we need to figure it out before it can cause any problems. Are you having a bad day? I can call Jazz and she should be able to come and pick you up-”

“You were right!” Danny blurted out, loud enough that Sam and Tucker both jumped and rattled the door and chair they were each leaning against or on. “Everything you ever said about- About ghosts and ectoplasm and all of it, you were right, okay? Everything. You were right and we’re looking at the proof and you need to get down here right now!”

Silent. The other end was silent and Danny felt ready to scream as he pulled his phone away to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. There was nothing but a black screen, Danny clicking the power button to bring up the call. Nothing showed up. He clicked it again, a couple times, and it was like a dawning horror to realize his phone had just died. 

“Shit,” Danny muttered, trying a couple more times before giving up and shoving it into his pocket, other hand held out towards Tucker. “Phone. Mine died.” 

Tucker nodded and moved to get it, Danny snapping his hand back with a sharp gasp as that same feeling from lunch, that same burning jolt of static, shot through him with enough force to have him stumbling away and looking around the room as if something was about to jump out at him. 

He wasn’t wrong. 

The ghost from earlier was suddenly in the middle of the room, both his friends jumping to their feet with enough force to send them stumbling back. The look of fear in their eyes had Danny’s skyrocketing, but at the same time it made him feel angry. 

“You dare change the menu?! The menu has been the same for fifty years! Fifty years of tradition! Of getting it right! And you would dare change it?!” 

Let me be brave, Danny thought once again, watching as one of the desks glowed with that strange energy and light the same as the pots had. Danny saw where it was going to hit as it flung itself through the air on a trajectory right towards Sam. 

Before he could even think he was moving, hands outstretched and shoving Sam away and into Tucker, knowing he would catch Sam. He then braced himself to feel a whole lot of pain as the desk flew- Right by him? 

Okay. Well. He wasn’t about to question his luck there when the desk was in splinters against the wall and they now had a clear shot to the door, Danny shoving them forward with another command to, “Run! Outside!”

His friends didn’t question it and began running at once, Tucker panting out strained words as they rounded the corner. “Danny, that desk- It went through you!” 

“Yeah. I know. Really close miss,” Danny panted out himself, the burn in his lungs starting to remind him really clearly that his doctors had talked about him having problems with breathing at his last check-up. “Talk later.”

“No, man, it went through you!” Okay, they would have time to talk about Tucker’s fear hallucinations later, Danny decided. 

“Outside, outside,” Danny said, raising his voice so Sam could hear, who was already making the turn for the front doors. “We need to get out. Lead it to my parents!” If they could get to his house — or more accurately if they could get to ‘Fenton Works,’ his parents would probably have something in the lab that could deal with everything. 

“We- We can’t!” Tucker gasped like he was about to stop breathing, Danny slowing just enough to make sure he could keep Tucker ahead of him and catch him if he collapsed as they raced down the stairs and out onto the front lawn of the school. Unlike Danny’s possible likelihood, Tucker did have asthma. “We can’t skip school!” 

“Get your priorities straight!” Sam shouted back, enough breath in her lungs to yell at them. It was extremely unfair, in Danny’s opinion. What was more unfair was that the ghost or ectoplasmic entity or demon or whatever it was was right in front of them again, like all their running hadn’t even mattered. It also had grabbed Sam by the wrist and jerked her to a stop harshly enough that Sam let out a short scream. 

Danny didn’t even think. He didn’t stop, or scream, or gasp, or anything. He just kept running, fear and anger pounding through him at seeing Sam’s terrified face, before he slammed into the ghostly lunch lady that was looking at them with burning red eyes. He was honestly surprised when he made contact, and apparently so was the ghost since he saw her grip on Sam loosen enough that she was able to free herself. 

“Danny!” The warning came a second too late, Danny wincing as it was his arm grabbed that time. He heard Sam scream again, and Tucker too, but it was a little hard to be sure when all of his focus was on the searing pain in his arm as he was lifted off the ground higher, and higher, and higher-! Too fast, this was all going too fast, he couldn’t even think-

“Now, dearie, it’s quite rude to interfere,” the ghost chided him like he was a misbehaving child, Danny swinging almost twenty or thirty feet up from the ground and trying to hold back a scream. The pain in his arm was enough to make him think it was dislocated, all of his weight hanging by the grip around his wrist. “This should fix that, and you should be just fine, even. Just a few broken bones, is all, I think!” 

Danny looked up at the ghost who smiled at him like she was being genuine and just putting him in some sort of time-out before he realized he was falling through the air. 

For a brief second that had to have been controlled by hysteria Danny decided the feeling of falling through the air felt like when he had jumped from a swing as a kid or when coming down after bouncing too high on a trampoline. 

The next second had the panic overwhelm him, a voiceless thought that he didn’t want to feel that much pain again, but it was quickly drowned out by fear that Sam and Tucker were next. 

He didn’t give a shit if he got hurt along the way, but he was not going to let some insane research of his parents hurt his best friends. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. No matter what it took, he was going to protect them-!

A sudden jerk had him stopping in his descent, Danny braced for the pain. He instead felt a wave of shock at there being none. He then realized there was no pain because instead of hitting the ground, he was floating a few inches above it. 

In the seconds before he dropped the last few inches to the ground, Danny looked at Sam and Tucker to see they were stunned, completely still and silent. He also looked at the ghost who looked as scared as he felt. 

A part of him wanted to just sit there and just give into the urge to sob in terror, but then he realized what he was looking at. She was scared. That meant there was something that could stop her. 

Rolling over and shoving himself up onto his knees, Danny saw the ghost was still up in the air, still too surprised to move yet. Danny, now an expert at pushing his panic attacks away until later, furiously tried to think on what he could do. 

A whisper. 

A nudge to his back. 

A swirl of soft blues and purple that he couldn’t see but somehow knew was there, the faintest, Backpack. 

Following the nudge, Danny didn’t stop to think as he ran for Tucker and turned him around before he ripped his backpack open, ignoring Tucker’s sputtering and squirming. Instead he found just what he had been looking for. 

He had almost forgotten, but that time at the lab, on the day of the Accident, he had seen Tucker grab something from one of the tables. He had probably been wanting to play around with it and see what it did, but Danny remembered his dad talking about it. It was an old thermos he had converted into a container for ectoplasmic energy. 

He had no idea how it worked, absolutely no clue if it would do anything towards the ghost that had almost tried to kill him, but he didn’t let himself hesitate. 

Let me be brave, Danny thought as loudly as he could, ripping the cap off the thermos and fumbling to turn it around towards the ghost that was quickly getting over her shock. Let me protect them!

“Soup isn’t on the menu, child.” The ghost was smirking like she was someone who knew they couldn’t be hurt, but Danny forced himself to not believe it. She had been scared, after all. 

She had been scared and so, with every scrap of hope he had left inside of him, Danny held up the themors and pressed the bright green button on the side of it. 

There was a moment — a second — where nothing happened and Danny felt like his heart was about to throw up. Then he felt the metal in his hands heat up with enough force and speed that it took everything in him to not drop the container, eyes wide as a beam of bright white light or energy or something shot out and hit the ghost directly. 

Danny braced himself as he felt the container vibrate in his hands, the ghost screaming as it looked like she was almost being pulled into the thing. He expected her to rip away from it and escape until the last second when both the ghost and the energy coiled back in on itself, Danny capping the thermos without thought. 

“Sorry, lady,” Danny said, a laugh of what was definitely hysteria leaving him as he suddenly felt a million pounds heavier, not helped at all when he heard what might have been his parents starting to shout at him. Or maybe it was Sam and Tucker? “But it looks like lunch is over.” 

Letting out a breath, Danny tried to figure out just what to do with a container that had a ghost in it like straight out of an old sci-fi movie. He also tried to figure out how he was going to explain this to his parents and maybe even the teachers. 

He then realized the black at the edges of his vision hadn’t gone away — had only grown stronger — and that was probably a bad thing. 

After that, all he knew was that it was dark and quiet and he was tired. 

A nap would be fine, right?

—

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[adidegmez]

spn s11 spoilers

s11 ep1(out of the darkness, into the fire)

crowley isnt dead he cant be. yes he is still alive. old dean is back. i love him he might be tough but he is sweet carina and kind and funny… sam is sick. baby has the mark!!and the darkness which makes sense.

s11 ep2(form and void)

A demon(king of hell) came for exorcism, perfect. poor jenna i liked her. im glad sam find the cure. cas will be better, hopefully.

s11 ep3(the bad seed)

Rowena is very short compared to Sam. Actually, everyone is much shorter than Sam, but I don't know, the height difference between the two is too much. Next to Sam, I would be like Rowena. he is too tall. Cas survived, finally.

s11 ep4(baby)

baby. baby is their home. baby is their happy place. i love seeing them happy. i needed seeing them happy, it was nice. john! werepire, i love dean so much. i would want to ride baby. if dean knew what she did he couldve killed her. this ep made me feel like i was with them in the baby. He shot the sheriff's deputy. ghoulpire:). The baby suffered as much as Dean and Sam. i thought we would see Chuck.

s11 ep5(thin lizzie)

finn wolfhard. I've never seen anything with him in it before but I know he's in Stanger Things and Ghostbusters. I didn't know we'd see him here. Len is a good guy. what happened to crowley?

s11 ep6(our little world)

cowley became an uncle but he acts like a father. dean and crowley they were bff's(in crowleys eyes). i hope they could still be friends. why didnt sam kill demons?

s11 ep7(plush)

i love donna. Sam is right to be afraid of clowns, by the way. is Charlie really dead? i still cant believe she is dead.

s11 ep8(just my imagination)

i knew about sully (because i saw spoilers,again). i thought this ep was going to be funny. and dean blames himself, again. dean is the best big brother. i kmow sam is dealing with something but all i can think about is dean. lucifer is coming, god isnt. The boys never found complete peace. They probably won't be able to access it until they die. I really want them to be happy but it seems impossible. Sometimes they have small happiness but it is not enough.

s11 ep9(o brother where art thou?)

amara finally became the darkness. if lucifer is in the cage where is michael/adam. hi luci. lucifer might be the most terrifying thing in this Show(especially in this episode). Dean should go to Sam as soon as possible. Did Rowena cast the spell wrong on purpose? Dean has to be there if Sam is going to say yes to Lucifer. If God comes, he will deserve every bad thing that happens to him. How many times was the world destroyed? He did not interfere with anything. he still doesn't interfere. Amara may be a little right, her brother betrayed her after all. Of course, there are parts where Lucifer is right. It's better if he doesn't come from now on. Where and what was he doing all this time?

s11 ep10(the devil in the details)

voicemail was funny. well, lucifer is not that terrifying now. but in cage he was. im not sure the darkness is the bad guy. i knew cas would be the vessel to lucifer someday but i didnt know it was today. wow. cas will be back(hopefully). rowena is dead im not upset. she really hates crowley. i hope lucifer can beat the darkness.

s11 ep11(into te mystic)

They had an deal but never followed it. But once Sam complied. Why? I still can't understand this. Dean was in purgatory. If he was in heaven, I would understand, sam would say Dean is in a good place and leave it, but Dean was in purgatory and suffered a lot. Why didn't Sam save him? dean is the vulnerable one. the darkness threw him off balance. and cas(lucifer) misha is so good. and jensen and dean he is georgeous. I can't take my eyes off him, most of the time I just look at Dean in every scene he is in. There are 4 seasons left and I want to see as much of him as possible.

s11 ep12(don't you forget about me)

jody and alex they deserved to be happy and they found eachother and now they are happy. and claire. dean and his love for food. claire is like a sister to winchesters, they are hilarious together. I miss the old plate, I still can't get used to the new one. I can't even say it's new anymore, but KAZ 2Y5 was different, idk. It was used for about 2 seasons, but I liked it more.

s11 ep13(love hurts)

dean has a death wish. what is he doing. why is he risking his life for others? well thats because this is who he is. still i want him safe. i didnt think dean would tell the truth to sam.

s11 ep14(the vessel)

i still cant believe Charlie is dead. misha is amazing. im scared. lucifer makes me anxious. well, at leat they kearned about lucifer. boys went through so much they still suffer, when can we just see them happy? i want cas back.

s11 ep15(beyond the mat)

dean was deppesed at the home but when he is on case, he is in a completely different mode. he sure knows how to hide his feelings. he does this perfect. Still, it makes me happy to see him happy. i love dean so much. sometimes he acts like a little boy(These scenes are one of my favorite scenes). i dont trust the demon who helped crowley. im glad he is out but i think lucifer wanted him out. did crowley really believed her? he looks disappointed. well, in the end he got away. dean:). The good characters on this show have all done something bad at least at some point in their lives. but they always tried to fix it. And that's what I love about this show.

s11 ep16(safe house)

i missed the old guys(They'd definitely be mad at me if they heard me call them old). i loved them so much. Why did the woman hide the scar on her daughter's leg and didn't tell the Winchesters? its really nice to see bobby and rufus again. dean is bobby, and sam is rufus it fits. sam and dean, of course they are bobby's boys. Dean was very confident that he would win rock paper scissors. but he still lost. Both of their facial expressions were perfect. dean is soft with kids. I love this side of him so much. i know winchesters will be safe, they'll beat the monsters but what if they cant this time. I assume bobby and dean saw each other since they were out of time in the nest. I'm glad bobby and dean were able to see each other again.

s11 ep17(red meat)

When we jumped to 48 hours ago, I thought we would only continue with that time. This time they chose a different narrative style. and i liked it. im gonna kill corbin. he killed sam. he cant be dead i know but still he killed him, well mabe he is dead, but he will come back. they always do. sheriff shot dean. sam how are you alive? i knew he wouldnt die that easy but dean checked he thought he was dead. how is he alive? i thought dean would try to contact crowley or even lucifer. wow sam was amazing. He killed 3 werewolves despite being seriously injured. and ran. dean didnt talked about billie because he knew sam would kill him for that. winchesters really do anything for the other one(exvcept one time sam didnt and i really cant undertstand why).

s11 ep18(hell's angel)

Why did Crowley kill that man? ruth conell! i knew we would see rowena again. but she is with the darkness. misha is amazing. lucifer is funny. Jimmy carries a demon, an angel and the devil inside him. he is really strong. of course you'll bring cas home. he'll come back. he has to.

s11 ep19(the chitters)

i thought jessie saved his brother in 19.. . at first i thought they were dean and sam. i think dean thought about john. when he was talking about revenge. I have many things to say about John, but I'm lazy right now. I can only say that I still don't hate John right now, I see that people in the fandom hate him a lot. revenge broke him. But he still tried to do good things for Dean and Sam. Most of the time he couldn't make it happen, but he tried and wanted it to happen. And I think that's enough not to hate him for now at least.

s11 ep20(don't call me shurley)

hi Chuck:) . i knew he would be god someday. but i don't know if he was God from the beginning or if God took his body in later times. i thought he would come in later seasons. i didnt think he would come this season. He spills beer on his shirt and irons it. perfect dean, perfect. metatron was good then power corrupted him. now whe is trying to convince god to save people. he is right. i think i like him more than chuck(god). Was Chuck just an act from the beginning? This is what I can understand from here. Metatron defends humanity. I guess he always loved humanity. especially their work. Was Sam having the amulet from the beginning?!! i dont know what to think about chuck. He could have done so much, he could have prevented so many bad things, but he didn't. only now intervened When there is no hope left. and again dean and sam was suffering. they almost died again. i think metatron saved the earth.

s11 ep21(all in the family)

kevin!!!!! the pain in deans eyes… donnt cofuse me with your dad … at least john winchester tried to protect his kids. Chuck did nothing and He still wouldn't have done anything if it wasn't for Metatron. He would let everything disappear. Did Chuck's hand shake when Sam was talking about Amara fog, or was it just me? yes, the mutant Ninja turtle:). i love dean so much. i know i say this a lot but these scenes make me so happy. I wish Dean treated Chuck the way Percy Jackson treated Zeus. There is Poseidon to protect Percy, but no one can save Dean from Chuck (except Amara, but Dean prefers Chuck to Amara), so he tries to show respect. rip metatron. he sacrificed himself for the universe. i knew Chuck would save them. Because who else could save them? father son Reunion.

s11 ep22(we happy few)

Chuck and lucifer I can't stop laughing. Chuck know his son well. boys dont know what to do. I think the Winchesters are reviewing their lives right now. From simple monster hunting, they fell into the middle of the drama between God and Lucifer. lucifer is a teenager. Of course, Crowley is trying to take advantage of the situation. Chuck is acting like a mom. The apology scene is so good, especially the part where Dean and Sam explain the apology is my favorite. lucifer is happy now. he got his apology. Of course Sam is trying to sacrifice himself. It was going to be either Dean or Sam anyway, but since Amara and Dean had a bond, this job was left to Sam. i dont think ucifer s permanently dead. he'll retur probably. did she just kill god?! what happened to crowley? Did he only hit Amara once? i cant think anyone that could save them now.

s11 ep23(alpha and omega)

carry on gains more and more meaning every season. i love it so much. cas is back! cas is their brother and i like it. Did only the Man of Letter members in America die? Are there still other members in other countries? Dean's imitation of Rowena was very good and funny. amara is just confused. her brother betrayed her because of who she is. this really feels like the end. i know its not but still it was never like this. this Show is always about family, especially siblings. there is always dean and sam then Michael and lucifer now god and the darkness. its really beautiful. i like this ending. i knew mary was coming back(i saw spoilers, again) and i know that this isnt good. she should've stayed dead(like dean and sam remebered her). sam isnt dead. he cant be. Charlie didnt come back i still cant believe she is dead. I don't think I will ever believe it. even mary retuned why cant she.

[impossiblycolorfulpanda]

Post-Until Dawn - Revelation

Sam: What's that you got there?

Mike: The search team found this. It's from the old men we met before. The Wendigo expert. Apparently, in case of his death, he had some kind of living will.

Sam: Have you watched it yet?

Mike: No. I'm not sure if I should. I've been a little afraid to do so.

Sam: Maybe we can watch it together.

Mike: (Nods) ok.

Cut to a computer playing a recording of the stranger.

The Stranger: To those associated with the Washingtons. If you were lucky enough to find this message after foolishly returning to this cursed mountain, it means my own luck has run out. My responsibilities ended in vain. I don't fully believe you'll be cut out for this but listen carefully, this information might help you survive. My name is Jack Fiddler. Many years ago, my grandfather hunted those possessed by the curse of the Wendigo. But there was one particular Wendigo that eluded him. The fiercest one of all: The Makkapitew. It was a terrible thing and my Grandfather could not defeat it. Sometime after, the prospectors came to mine this mountain. Until a cave-in trapped the men and woke the curse again. And there were dozens of men with no food, no light. And in that blackness, the hunger came. They were consumed by their abominable cravings and driven mad. Murderers. Cannibals. Eating human flesh. And if you kill this monstrous thing, the spirit is released and swirls the mountain like an evil wind waiting to possess again. You best not kill them, I have tried. You can only trap them...taunt them with fire. And after all these years...after many moons and many hunts, the Makkapitew still roamed free. Out of my grasp...beyond my reach. Until one night, a year ago, I was finally able to get him in my sights. But we were not alone in the woods at night. While I was tracking the Makkapitew, it was tracking something else. The Makkapitew forced your friends over the mountain. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't save your friends but I could avenge them. I hunted the Wendigo down and I doused it with fire. The Makkapitew was dead. But my burden to keep the other Wendigos from escaping still remained the same and as you know, it finally got the best of me. It is imperative that you spread this information to as many as possible, including the Washingtons. If you think you have what it takes to bear my burden, which I do not recommend, then you will need all the help, prayers, and luck you can get. Hopefully, someone can find the source of this unbearable curse, destroy it, and send these abominations back to whichever part of hell they spawned from once and for all.

Video ends. Sam and Mike are left stunned.

Sam: You don't think Hannah was possessed by this...Makkapitew...thing, do you?

Mike: It would explain how it wiped the floor with the other creatures.

Sam: Even after blowing them all up, it's still not over. Their spirits still roam the mountain. One of them could take over someone else and the whole thing could happen all over again.

Mike: No way. There's no chance in hell that the authorities are gonna let anyone near that mountain. Not even the Washingtons. Not that they'd want to be at the place where all three of their kids died. Besides, they can only take over if someone resorts to cannibalism.

Sam: The cave-in that you and Jack talked about. The trapped miners got increasingly hungry. He described it like it was something unnatural. I think these Wendigo spirits have some level of influence. They arrange for their victims to be isolated and without resources.

Mike: How and Why? Where'd they even come from? There's been cannibalism in parts of history and even parts of the animal kingdom and as far as I know, none of them had wendigos added to the mix, except in this instance.

Sam: I don't know but if there is something that's bringing them here, a source or beacon or something, and destroying it will destroy them then I say we find it and get to it.

Mike: Wait. Seriously? You wanna deal with those things again? You wanna make this guy's problem our problem?

Sam: Not really, but it seems like we're the only ones who understand what's going on and how to handle it. If I'm ever to sleep at night again, I want to make absolutely sure that these things never hurt or control anyone ever again. Are you with me or not?

Mike: (Sigh) Wouldn't be the first time I was in a mouth of hell. Fuck it. Let's do this.

[nevermindirah]

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

hi thank you for asking!!

💌 Is there a favorite trope you like to write?

Does comfort and safety count as a trope? Because I don't just enjoy writing it, I need to write it. Some people process their trauma by writing fucked-up things and I salute them for that. For me, writing mutual trust and carefulness and emotional safety is an important part of my healing. Nile and Booker so quickly and powerfully finding mutual understanding in canon was a very big deal for me and everything I write is extrapolating out from that into endless futures where they're both able to cope with their burdens with less suffering.

We live in a disturbing time of purity culture resurgence where there are very loud annoying voices declaring that there's only one correct way to write relationships, which sucks for a lot of reasons, including that some people might encounter my writing and wonder if this is why I write how I do. It's so profoundly not, but it doesn't help anybody for me to get defensive about it. Some people are going to think that about my writing and not read further and I can be sad about losing potential readers without wasting energy trying to change them or myself. People who do stick around might find some of the same value I do in exploring what's complicated and interesting and sometimes wonderfully boring about characters who make each other feel truly safe.

Nile would've gotten some training as part of her NCO promotion in how to look out for signs of PTSD in her squad and she's probably at least aware of some therapy concepts from having survived her father's death, though whether she ever got any formal grief counseling is headcanon territory. Booker reads a lot and it's easy enough to imagine him branching out from that canonical fiction to mental illness memoirs. My Booker has fallen asleep cuddling An Unquiet Mind at least twice. I know some aspects of my writing are too therapy-speak for some readers' tastes and that's ok. One of the things I'm working on as a writer is reining in the aspects of this that are clearly my voice speaking through the characters and getting better at expressing the things I need for my fics to express in the ways that these specific characters would be most likely to express them.

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

Nile and Booker are equally my babies. I've written so enormously much more fic the past few years than I ever imagined I would because both of their voices live in my head so insistently demanding to be shared. Slight edge for Booker over Nile though in one aspect — Christianity is important to Nile, and I know a lot about that worldview and can find that part of her voice, but it's not a fun place for me. Writing Jewish Booker is a special joy.

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

I love Andy and I want to include more of her in my fics, but I struggle like hell getting into her head. It's not necessarily her mind boggling lifespan though, it's the nihilism. That's a worldview I just do not understand. It's honestly sometimes triggering to think about it too much. So I end up writing Andy mostly in small scenes and she rarely feels quite right.

👻 What is your wildest headcanon?

The scope of TOG canon is so wild that no headcanons feel appropriately out there, so I'll return to my MCU beloved for this one. Sam Wilson owns a house in Petworth and takes the bus or the metro down to the Mall for his morning runs. This is a completely insane thing to do on a regular basis. Like close to an hour each way completely insane. Maybe he does it once a week and runs closer to home most other days, but then he met sexy "on your left" jerkface and decided to go again the next day. He wore his skin-tight purple shirt and spent 2 hours on the metro and didn't even see Steve on that second run!! But then Steve showed up in his backyard and it was fine and now maybe Sam has a special dispensation from the FAA to use his wings to get down to the Mall for morning runs when he's in town.

(fanfic writer asks!)

[moonlight-fan2008]

Moonlight rewatch for millionth time

Episode 10 random thoughts and feelings I had while rewatching again: cause I’m bored and have nothing else to do or watch. And I love this show (some serious thoughts and others that are less so)

So weird to think that if Coraline wasn’t in the hospital Mick could’ve been killed during poker night

Also that security guard must have nerves of steel since Mick had no idea that he was involved with this until later

I wonder what happened to change Coraline’s mind in episode 10 to episode 12 to see mortality differently, in Sleeping Beauty she’s like “why do you want to be human?” And in Mortal Cure she’s trying to amplify the cure to be permanent.

Not really important but how did Josef survive the explosion? At least from his position it didn’t seem like he was far away enough from the bomb to avoid the blast and he was on the ground still so it’s not like he could have ran and duck for cover.

Because even Mick is surprised to see Josef alive at his apartment and Tim and Dan were killed and they were all relatively in the same area when the bomb went off.

Why did Ryder England hack the military? I don’t care that he did I’m just curious what the reason was and did he do it for himself or for Josef? I’m assuming it may have to do with Josef and possibly something to do with surveillance cameras ?

“You, stay” Mick being sassy again

I love Sam. I wish we had more of her

I feel like Josef may be German or Russian or possibly Greek?Josef is a German variant of Joseph but the name Kostan came up as Greek on one site I looked at and another said it was Russian so maybe he’s both or a mixed bag?

I like how Mick’s like I’m going to bed when Josef says he wants to go out. He’s like I can’t deal with this right now and I’m tired

“To stop you from doing something stupid” ☺️

How did Martan break out and kill the police officers? Don’t they have protective glass or something like that? Like I know he must of maneuvered his way out of his cuffs but how did he slit the throats of the officers their doors weren’t open and it was just the back door open. And I’ve never arrested but from what I’ve seen on cop shows and reality shows about cops there’s like this glass wall for protection or like this cage like then to separate the police from the ones they arrest. (I know it’s not really important and the story just needs to progress but like I focus on random things sometimes)

Josh returns after missing for four episodes

I wonder what he wanted to talk to Beth about, I’m sure it was about breaking up, because he starts off by saying we need to talk and followed up by this isn’t working out. But I feel like there is more to it, I

Also Mick definitely overheard Josh asking Beth to say she has no feelings for Mick and intentionally interrupted that conversation

Is Paula a vampire too or just a human (maybe former freshie)? I feel like she must be a vampire because I feel like that would be a lot of work to find a person who you can trust and care for your girlfriend every decade or so. But at the same time another vampire might rat you out about your comatose vampire girlfriend and I’m not sure how they would react to that. Part of me says that as long as the vampire isn’t actively causing problems and exposing the vampire community they don’t care but at the same time I feel like a comatose vampire might be a gray area issue. (I lean more towards Paula being a vampire though)

Morbid thought but when did Sarah’s dad die? I mean he was coughing up blood so he didn’t have much time left but like his quest for revenge could help him live a little longer but I highly doubt it. Maybe he lasted a few months if that.

“I like the weather” sure Mick sure

It’s interesting how Sarah and Mick are close (enough) in age and were turned around the same time (Sarah 21 in 1951 and Mick 30 in 1952).

I like that Josef’s 1950’s style is a bit more light and has a more lively look to it, if that makes sense. Like his modern day looks are dark and moody and have a grunge vibe to it but in 1950 it’s bright and lively. They are brighter colors with his shirt looking like a purpleish color and he has a tie with yellow and white stripes.

Ugh I’m a softie I’d would have taken Mick up on his offer and deal with my failing relationship later. Like he was so excited to hang out and explore. I’d be like yes of course we can do that!

[dyed-red]

Happy WW! What do you think about Sam’s and Dean’s safe sex practices? Do they use condoms with each other? Do they *talk* about it? Have they ever been cavalier with strangers? What about Robo!Sam and Demon!Dean?

you sent this like 3 weeks ago, i started replying, got distracted by work, went to a conference, got covid, finished teaching for the term, and now we're back!

(sorry about the delay omg, and thank you for asking!! i love asks! i'm just distractable af with replying)

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

Okay I definitely had to think about this one and separate what i like to write or think is hot (no condoms, nothing between them and marking each other with cum) versus what i think actually suits their characters.

Starting with how they are with other people (because I don't headcanon them as especially monogamous in their relationship with each other, especially dean), I headcanon that they both have fairly careful safe sex practices -- once again, especially dean.

he wasn't entirely shocked by the idea that he might have a kid running around out there when he met Ben, so i think sometimes something slips (condoms aren't fool proof, and whatever he and lisa were up to sounded bendy and memorable so maaayyybe he was skipping the safety just a little, he was still pretty young when he would have had that memorable time with her, i think 19?). but i also think he's really damn careful because he knows that if he had a kid, that would consume his life in a huge way. family is everything to dean and given his lifestyle and the fact that sam's safety (or continued survival and humanity, at least) is typically his #1 priority, i imagine the thought of getting someone pregnant would terrify dean as much as he might also want that, on some level.

sam, i imagine, is incredibly practical about these things, which means careful safe sex and condom usage. at the same time, sam is undeniably kinky, and if we assume he has as big a dick as is typically headcanoned and at times implied (by jared and by that ridiculous dick joke of a promo with swords), i also think sam wouldn't really... like condoms. (i mean, does anyone?). getting the right size feels almost egotistical, and he might be really particular about ordering from a select brand or something. i also think he'd definitely get off on not using one, on being bare with his lover and finishing inside them and the fear/danger/possibility of that as well as him leaning into the possessive and territorial side of marking someone. sam is a jealous guy, even if it tries to paint himself as cool headed.

so - i think sam is practical but also... reckless. he's canonically got a blindspot for his own reckleness, because once he's decided something is a calculated risk, he's 110% in. driving the impala through the side of a house? check. turn into a zombie with dean to loophole dean's deal? check. sam dgaf, and i have to imagine he takes calculated risks with sex too.

so condoms are assumed, but with a long term partner (jess), once they're exclusive and she's on the pill (or patch or iud or whatever), he's seeing if condoms can exit the equation.

even more casually though, he's not hard to convince to just... skip it. the girl says she's clean and on the pill (or whichever)? sure, yes, great, no condom needed. maybe not for the more incidental of hookups, but he also prefers to get to know his partners, even his hookups, at least a little before sliding into bed with them, which i think would also lend him more confidence in what they're claiming about their birth control and sti status.

(he's also had the clap courtesy of that joke from Patrick the witch, if i remember the episode correctly, so like... there's that. tbh i headcanoon that both sam and dean have both had stis at least once, dean because condoms aren't 100% perfect in mitigating sti risk and he really enjoys hooking up, so it's just a numbers game. and sam because he's not as careful as he likes to think he is)

for demon!dean, he's using condoms. he does not want to have to deal with any of that shit. if demons can get pregnant and carry the antichrist (as per season 5), they can sure as shit get others pregnant, and that is a headache and a half. he might not bother when he's hooking up with crowley and twins or triplets and things are getting wild, because it's not like he can get an sti this way (the same way demons can't really get human injuries, right?), but i also tend to think dean is... not a germophobe, not actually, but there's a limit to what other people's body fluids he wants on or in him or wants to have to deal with in general, and condoms are just easier, including and especially when doing anal (regardless of the gender of his partner).

for soulless!sam... that man gives zero shits. you want him to wear one? cool. you're cool with him not wearing one? no likely issues or infections? great, condoms are a nuisance anyway. if you get pregnant he'll pay for the abortion. he doesn't need a brat walking around but he's not above shooting you if it becomes a headache. if you show up with a kid, he also might decide that's cool and he has a little mini me to train up, since having a hunting partner is preferable than not, especially if he can mould them into a useful tool.

now the most interesting part... what does that mean about their safe sex practices with each other?

(under a cut because this got long and ever so slightly filthy)

depending on how they start hooking up and the trajectory here, i can envision that when they get to the penetrative stuff (regardless of who tops and who bottoms), dean being confused and a little... affronted? that sam wants to do it without condoms?

"what do you mean you like it better that way? you're doing this with other people? you're skipping condoms? what the hell is wrong with you, did you learn nothing from the safe sex talk when you were 14?? that talk was 98% about no glove no love! where did i go wrong? aren't you worried about diseases? about kids? sam what the fuck?"

i jest but like... this is sending dean, a bit. sam is the responsible one, what the fuck is happening here. sam, unless he's pissed about dean being over the top, would just shrug and say condoms numb some of the sensation. poor dean is stuck between the reality of sam's stupid big dick and the perfect responsible sammy image he has in his mind cracking into a million pieces.

(not like he didn't know sam is a freak in bed but that's one thing and this is another. but well, sam has literally drank blood, what's a few other bodily fluids in the mix after that? but dean doesn't want to think about that. and sam reassures him that he gets tested regularly for stis when he's sexually active, regardless of whether he's using condoms or not, because he is diligent and responsible in his own way)

anyway, they come around on it, both willing to try it the other guy's way and accomodate. assuming they're both vers, which is my headcanon on their dynamic, they fall into a pattern where whoever bottoms essentially determines what safe sex practices are gonna be used that day.

when sam bottoms, except when things are quick or sleepy and he doesn't want to deal with any prior or post cleaning, he typically prefers when dean skips the condom because it turns him on when there's nothing between him and his brother, and dean gets into that as well and gets a bit kinky with it, with having all of his brother and leaving some of himself in sam's guts. sam eats his fibre and this doesn't present either of them much issue.

when dean bottoms, he generally makes sam glove up, but there are plenty of exceptions. one of the things he enjoys about it is that sam will go a little caveman and pull out to cum, pulling off the condom and cumming on dean's skin instead, whether that's on his back and ass and on his hole (dean doesn't mind, kind of likes when sam rubs it in there a little, with his dick or his fingers, but he's not about to admit that out loud), or whether it's all over his stomach, or if sam is in a Mood and he grabs dean by his short hair and cums on his face.

(which is another thing that turns dean on like whoa, but only when sam does it, he hates taking it on the face from anyone else. and it's half because of how sam looks when he does, and looks at dean, and there's so much heat and possessiveness in the action that it slides down dean's spine, the naked reality of just how much sam wants him, how he can't hold back or hold himself in check, how he wants devour dean just as assuredly as dean wants to devour him).

when sam is needy or jealous though, or when they have a bit of time, dean invites him in without a condom and and and - and he feels a little deranged and unhinged with sam all the way in there with nothing in the way, and it's really fucking good just skin on skin (better, he's willing to admit, even if it's not worth the added effort all the time), and sam invariably cums first when they do it that way and sometimes dean trips over that edge with him because sam hammers in so fast and deep when he does and because knowing sam is spilling inside of him scrambles something in his brain.

other times though, sam pulls out and goes down on dean and fingers his cum back in there and dean feels absolutely filthy and almost embarrassed and exposed and it's an entirely different kind of orgasm. almost always leading to cuddling that they don't discuss because things are a little raw when it plays out this way, for reasons neither can quite articulate.

[firstbeachgoblin]

Hey! I hope you’re well, can i request an imagine where reader is Embry’s imprint and they haven’t seen eachother in months because reader has a life she can’t just drop for him but she comes back when the pack is blowing up her phone ? Thank youu and don’t worry if you don’t write it, it’s fine!

Thank you for the request! It took a Long time But It's now complete with a total whopping 5k words!! Any way I hope you enjoy the fic.

I put it under the cut because it's so long but it's my brain baby at the moment lo.

Returning to you.

Embry Call x Reader

5058 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most of my life has been spent in the Forks area so getting to travel to Europe for six months to see the art and culture was a dream come true. The past four months I’ve been travelling through Europe, starting in Greece and ending my trip in the Irish countryside.

The old art and architecture filled me with a joy that I could not get anywhere else in the world. The smells, sounds and sights all played their own part into the experience. I got to see the moon rise over Mount Olympus, the David by Michelangelo in the Vatican, tour through the Louvre, drink wine on the beaches of France and so much more. I’ve been living my best life.

It's been a dream to see the world, I've met so many new people and tried so much food. I’ve enjoyed every minute of my trip, but there was a part of me that longed for the beaches of La Push.

That part is Embry. Embry Call. My boyfriend, my pal, my love and my light. To me Embry is my everything and to him I’m his everything. That is one thing that has been made perfectly clear the past four months I’ve been away. Every day he’s told me he misses me and I know he means it, I’ve been told not just by him but also the rest of the pack.

Everyday I’ve woken up to ‘Good morning I miss you.” Sometimes he phones to tell me that he feels like he might die if I’m away for any longer. I always chuckle and tell him he will survive, it’s not like I’m going away forever; but that's what he feels like it is. This usually earns me a long winded whine from the other end of the line.

My phone buzzed against the smooth surface of the bedside table while Embry’s face flashed across my screen signalling that he’s calling. A smile graces my lips as I pick up the phone to be greeted with his loving voice.

“Hi (y/n)!! I miss you so much.” sadness was laced in his usual cheery greeting, it hurt my heart to be away from him but I would never trade this experience for anything. I’ve been planning this for years and I wasn’t going to pass up cheap plane tickets.

He filled me in on the pack's shenanigans, complaining about how they keep teasing him for being glued to his phone awaiting any updates I would send him. The later it got the heavier my eyelids seemed to feel, my speech started to slur with exhaustion of time zones while Embry continued to become more energetic with each passing minute.

“Em. . .” A yawn interrupted me mid sentence, a low whine emanated from the phone as he knew I would want to get to bed to have the energy for the long trip I’ll embark on tomorrow for Ireland, which is my last stop. I’d be spending the remaining two months of my trip in the lush countryside.

“I think I should get to sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I mumbled into the phone.

“But (y/n)!” he dragged out. I knew he wanted to talk longer but I physically cannot do it. Even though Embry and I don’t live together officially yet, we’d talk into the early morning till one of us fell asleep.

“But (y/n) what?” I dragged out the ‘a’ matching his whine.

“I miss you and want you to come home.” I could hear him pause over line before he continued.

“Besides, sleeping isn’t the same without you.”

I ran my hand through my hair gently tugging on the roots easing the tension that’s built up over my trip. As much fun as I’ve had, he does have a point. Sleeping just isn’t the same without Em. My nights have been spent restless in beds that aren’t mine without the comforting touch of my boyfriend; but that doesn’t mean I can just drop everything and go back home.

“Em you know I can’t just pack everything and go home. . .” I looked at the painting that hung over the tv that sat opposite of my bed. A puppy-like whimper fell from his lips when he spoke again, his voice cracked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart hearing him upset.

“I-I know I just really miss you.”

“I know Embry I miss you too, but it’s only two more months then I’ll be home.”

We chatted for ten more minutes before I fell asleep on the phone. As much as I missed falling asleep in his warm embrace I can’t just fly back home, not yet at least.

The blaring of my alarm woke me from my slumber. The clock face read 6:02 a.m. taking everything within myself to peel back the blankets that encased me in their warm grip. I patted through the bed sheets to find my phone only to knock it onto the floor in the process.

My lock screen adorned a photo of Embry with icing smudged across his face from his birthday party but a swamp of text messages from the pack covered my favourite photo of him. Five texts from Leah, seven from Jake, nine texts from Paul, 12 texts and two missed calls from Sam and a whole group chat titled ‘(y/n) come home.’

The group chat kept pinging with the members of the pack who were still awake discussing the logistics of flying out to Ireland to take me back home. Was Embry really causing that much strife in the pack for them to create a group chat? Knowing him, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.

Leah and I call once a week to check in and make sure the other is doing okay since I left. It’s one of my favourite parts of the week being able to have a one on one with someone sensible. Every week she fills me in on Embry begrudgingly, she does it because she knows it makes me happy which I appreciate.

Reading through her texts she didn’t say much in regards to Em’s behaviour the only message relating to him was “come get your man child please, he’s getting snot on the floor.”

I listened through Sam’s voice mails which were begging me to come home, he informed me that once Em knew I was asleep he started moping around Emily’s house again for the fourth consecutive night in a row. This was news to me.

The texts entailed that Embry was becoming a pain on patrol and that Paul ‘couldn’t take another minute of the incessant whining.’ I told them the same thing I told Embry; I’m not dropping everything and rushing back home to sooth the wails of a love sick boy. There isn’t much I can do from across the ocean anyway.

I stretched my body and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower before I had to leave for the airport.

I packed the few remaining things I left out to prepare for the flight and headed my way to the lobby to check out. I enjoyed travelling but I wasn’t going to miss sleeping in hotels and hostels.

Two weeks have passed since I touched down in Ireland and to say I’ve been having the time of my life is an understatement; I’ve been having a ball living my best life.

The land was capped in a luscious emerald green sea of grass that waved in the wind, the roads were lined with hand built stone walls that marked the division of farmers fields.

Sheep and cattle grazed in pastures, and old castles dotted the countryside. It was gorgeous. It was a view that I wanted to see again, a view I want to see with Embry.

It felt like time was flying by between sight seeing, trail hiking, museum tours and calls with Embry and Leah. It has already been a month. I had one more month before I was to jet set back to the U.S. and see my Embry.

One more month before I was back in La Push surrounded by the scent of sea water and trees with the looming threat of rain constantly overhead except in the summer. For two months of the year La Push was bright and sunny with the expected summer storms that happened.

I had fallen asleep on the phone with Embry again when I realized my phone was lost in the sea of sheets as it buzzed with an incoming phone call.

I couldn’t find it until the call had gone to voicemail and my phone landed on the ground when I gave up and ripped the blankets off of the bed but whoever called must have felt it was really important. Picking up my phone the most unflattering photo of Jacob was plastered on the screen, his name in white.

“Hello?” I asked groggily into the phone, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at the clock which said in bold red numbers 1 am.

“Hey (y/n)! You sound like you just woke up.” I heard him chortle from the other end.

“That’s because I just woke up Jake, it’s one in the morning.” a yawn escaped my lips, I know I’ll have a rough time getting over jet lag when I go home.

He occupied twenty minutes with idle chatter and borderline interrogation about all the sights I’ve seen before I asked him why he was calling me so early in the morning

“Embry has spent the week at my house, you need to come home there’s nothing we can do anymore to occupy him till you return.” He sighed, Jake knows I want to finish my trip but we made a deal that I would come home early if there were absolutely no options left to keep Embry from sending the pack into hysterics.

I knew he was buttering me up for something.

“Are you sure you can’t figure something out? It’s just another month!”

“Another month of him eating my cereal and getting dirt on me from my dad!”

I snorted with laughter at the fact that Billy was telling Embry every embarrassing detail from his childhood.

“Jake please just let me think about it okay?” I sighed, flopping back into my hollowed cave of blankets and sheets.

“Okay, I’ll let you think about it but don’t think I won’t be telling Sam.” he warned.

We laughed together and he wished me a good night before hanging up the phone, before I slipped back into slumber I sent Jake one more text.

‘You wake me up at one in the morning again and it’s over for you.’ in which he responded with ‘Oh no I’m so scared lol.’

I reached over to the bedside table and plugged my phone in before the sweet embrace of warmth and slumber took over my senses.

The next three days I was bombarded with texts from Paul whining about the wolf mind link and how every patrol shift he had with Embry was spent tuning out his constant thoughts of me.

Standing in the shower with hot water running over my skin soothing my tense muscles I heard my phone buzz against the granite countertop. I rolled my eyes and continued to bask in the endless hotel hot water.

As bad as staying in hotels could be, the hot water made up for the early breakfast and sheets that were tucked in a little too tightly.

I had shampoo in my hair when my phone started buzzing again, this time with a call. I grumbled under the stream of water washing away the soap before it could get in my eyes; whoever's calling can wait.

I moved on to conditioning my hair, letting it sit while I wash the rest of my body with a lightly scented lavender soap.

I refused to use the complimentary soap because it dried out my skin and the lotion just left me feeling sticky instead of moisturized.

Watching the soap run down the drain my phone rang again, I clenched my fists, who could possibly be calling me now? I still refused to get out of my steamy heaven to answer my phone.

My gut told me that whoever was calling wouldn’t let up until I answered. I washed out the conditioner from my hair and wrapped it in a towel.

The mirror was coated in a layer of steam, the tiles were cool against my feet. I wrapped the plush towel around my body, mopping up the droplets of water that remained.

My phone started vibrating with rapid fire text messages from the pack’s group chat they made a month ago. I sighed, picking it up to sift through the messages. I read a message from Jared telling me he’d pay me to return.

The pack always made me laugh, together they’re a walking sitcom. There is never a dull moment with them, someone always had something witty or sarcastic to say.

I checked to see who had called me and it turned out it was Sam, I listened to his voice mails and immediately phoned him back.

As soon as I hit the call button it only rang for half a second before he picked up.

“Thank you for calling back, I thought I’d have to call two more times.” he chuckled.

“Well I was in the middle of a shower, can’t really take a call there.” I moved through the room with my phone pressed between my shoulder and cheek. Stopping at my suitcase to pick out what I was going to wear for the day.

“I’m going to be frank with you, I need you to come home. . .” I let out a huff before he continued.

“Embry needs you badly, he’s just a pile of mush on the floor now. It’s a chore to get him up to go on patrol. Please?”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do Sam, I’ll try to book a flight for the earliest date I can find.” I knew I was giving in but from what they were telling me and the constant texts were getting to be difficult to manage.

“Thank you, when you get back I’ll buy you take out for a month okay?”

“I hate that you know what my weakness is.” I laughed through the phone, a month of free take out? Hell yeah. It made the prospect of going back a little brighter since I wasn’t going to complete the rest of my trip.

I wasn’t losing out on too much though, I had seen and done everything that I wanted. It wouldn’t be too bad to go home early.

We talked for a couple more minutes before parting ways, I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce a couple times before turning my attention back to getting dressed. Since I had a flight to book it was okay to spend the rest of the day lounging in pj’s.

The soft fabric of my pj’s brushed against my skin as I jumped into bed with my computer in hand, and now it was time to book a flight back home. Maybe text Paul and tell him he can quit complaining as well.

I woke up the next morning with my flight booked for take off in the afternoon and my daily good morning text from Embry. I felt a little sad to be leaving such a beautiful country but the trees, ocean and Embry all called my name.

Pacing through the room I grabbed the comfiest set of clothes I packed for my return flight back to Seattle, I had enough time to sleep on the plane to be conscious enough for the three and a half hour drive back to La Push.

I was set for a long day ahead of me but it was going to be worth it in the end, seeing the bright and happy face of my boyfriend, getting to hug him and kiss him again.

I made one last check of the room before I gathered my clothes and toiletry kit and made my way into the bathroom to shower before my long flight. As I was stepping into the shower my phone pinged from the counter with a text from Sam.

“Have you booked that flight yet?” it read.

“Yeah I’m due for take off at 1. I should be back in La Push some time tomorrow!”

My fingers brushed the cool surface of the counter top as I put my phone back and got into the shower, hot water immediately running down my back; this time my phone wasn’t being blown up by a desperate wolf pack trying to get my attention.

I can’t sit in the shower for hours on end this time, I have a flight to catch and a boy to surprise. Embry was currently still under the impression that I would be coming home in two weeks. Boy would he be in for a surprise.

The residual steam wafted out of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth revealing my towel wrapped body and hair in the mirror behind the skin. I checked the time and noted that I had two hours to check out, make my way to the airport, and check into my flight back home. Two more hours before I could smell the trees and ocean, two more hours before I could see my friends and hug Embry.

The time managed to move by in a blur by the time I was shutting the trunk of the yellow cab that was going to drop me off at the airport. I got into the back seat and the driver peeled away from the hotel front onto the winding roads.

“Aye where are you headin’?” The driver inquired in a thick Irish accent.

One thing I noticed in my stay here was that the accent changed in every town or village I passed through. It added to the charm

“Well, I’m on my way home after spending six months in Europe.” My eyes scanned over the green hills that rushed past in a blur.

“My favourite places I’ve been have definitely been Ireland and Greece.” I smiled towards him.

The lines around his eyes crinkled with the smile that graced his face at the mention of Ireland.

“Well that’s good to hear innit? Glad you’ve enjoyed your stay. We welcome ya with open arms if you return.”

We held a light conversation until we arrived in front of the drop off area for passengers, thanked him and grabbed my bags before heading into the crowded lobby.

The front of the terminal was metal and glass that reached towards the heavens with automatic doors gaping open like a mouth. Inside was a dull white with light grey floor which my shoes clicked against with each step.

It was packed with people like a can of sardines, I weaved my way through the masses towards the check in desk which thankfully only had a short line to get through.

Under the mix of fluorescents and natural light the desk lady’s bags that donned under her eyes glared with visible exhaustion from the mass amounts of people that swarmed the terminal.

Despite her clear drowsiness she still greeted me with a warm smile and a soft hello.

I grabbed my ticket and thanked her then turned and pushed myself through to the security check, dropped my luggage off and took a seat to wait for the boarding call for my flight.

As I waited grey clouds started to fill the sky blocking out the little sun that was once shining in its place.

My eyes grew heavier by each minute that passed, waiting could be hard, but waiting in an airport where there’s no sense of time is worse. So I distracted myself by people watching.

A lady was bouncing her baby, the old man across from me was snoring. A businessman paced back and forth speaking urgently into his phone, a family chatted excitedly for their family trip to the Canary Islands.

I pulled my eyes away from them as the call for my flight rang out over the crowded terminal, grabbing my suitcase and making my way towards the gate.

Excitement filled my every step as the anticipation grew and bubbled inside me. I gave the greeting flight attendant a small smile and made my way to my seat, for being last minute I managed to get a window seat.

We sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes before taking off and before I knew it the seat belt light pinged off and I was fast asleep jet setting my way back to America, back to my home.

I couldn’t tell what time it was when I woke up but the clock on the tv screen said 2 a.m. and that we’re due to arrive in an hour. I sat up in my seat and gazed out the window into the starry night sky.

Energy started to course through me as I watched the arrival time tick closer and closer. A light rain misted down over Seattle as I left the Seatac terminal and made my way through the maze of cars in the night that was made darker by the rain.

I spotted my blue Subaru and popped the trunk so my interior and seats wouldn’t get wet. It had been a long six months since I last sat in my driver's seat, the wheel almost felt foreign in my hands as I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.

I drove through the winding roads of the city to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry to take the 45 minute ride into Bainbridge and headed North to get on the 101 then turn onto 110 which would take me back into the heart of La Push.

The closer I got to Forks the brighter the sky became; well as bright as it could be on a gloomy day. The clouds became painted in the glow of purple and pink as the sun rose over the horizon, the rain had let up and left me with an overcast sky for the remainder of the drive back.

Since I slept virtually the entire flight back I didn’t feel the weight of exhaustion at all, but surely when I arrived back in the arms of Embry I knew I’d hit the wall with sleep deprivation.

As I barreled through the corridor of trees I passed the signature ‘welcome to Forks’ sign and turned right onto the 110, twenty minutes to home. I was so close but my soul felt like it was light years away.

The clock on my radio told me that it was currently 6:45, the pinks and purples that coated the sky faded away to the typical grey that fills my senses with delight. Sea salt and washed up kelp started to seep into the air that circulated into my car making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Closer to Beach Drive I got the stronger the smell of the ocean became. The turn signal clicked as I turned onto the road that gave way to Sam and Emily’s house so they could take me over to Embry’s in the off chance that he happened to be awake at this hour.

It’s highly unlikely that he would be up at this hour but it’s not something I could be one hundred percent positive about. I stepped out of my car and turned around to see Emily running as fast as she possibly could towards me with open arms and a huge smile plastered across her face.

Dropping my bags I dashed across their lawn into her embrace.

“Oh (y/n)! I missed you so much, you must be so tired.” She released me from her hug and settled her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I missed you too Emily, I knew I’d be tired but not this tired.” I chuckled while wiping at my under eyes in a feeble attempt to wipe away the exhaustion.

She put her hand on my lower back and led me inside for the awaiting cup of tea while Sam moved my bags into his truck.

The warmth of their home embraced me, the comfort of their kitchen was familiar. The only thing missing was the rowdy group of boys that made up the pack who usually occupied every available seat in the home.

I took a seat at the kitchen table where three cups of tea sat waiting, I should have expected a q and a when I returned. Wrapping my hands around the mug the warmth that radiated from it filled my hands.

Emily took a seat beside me and Sam entered through the door and sat adjacent to both of us.

“So how was the trip?” We sat around their table chatting until our cups were empty and filed out of the house into the early morning air.

“Emily and I will drive your car back to your place after I drop you off at Embry’s, the kid’s been sleeping in my living room more often than I’d appreciate.” Sam’s eyes crinkled with a smile, I knew he was joking but at the same time there was truth to his words; and honestly I couldn’t blame him.

“Thank you for putting up with him while I was gone, I owe you guys one and you owe me take out for a month.” He rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair turning into the Call's driveway. Embry’s mom had already left for work leaving him to his own devices; which meant he would sleep in as late as his heart desired.

We got out of Sam’s truck and he dropped my bags on the doorstep. I turned and gave him a quick hug and a thank you before sticking my key into the lock.

The door creaked open and I dragged my suitcases to a stop in their front entry way and shut it behind me.

My shoes landed on the floor with a soft thud and I gingerly walked up the stairs to ensure I wasn’t too noisy while making sure to avoid the one squeaky stair.

I got to the top of the stairs and hung a left down their light beige hallway that gave way to the oak door that guarded Embry’s room. His soft snores filtered through the door, it’s door knob was cool in my hand. Making an audible click with the turn of my wrist.

Dark mahogany brown hair peaked up from beneath the sheet that tucked Embry’s body out of view. One pillow was on the floor while the other was tucked firmly between his cheek and arm, I smiled at the sight of my sleeping boyfriend which filled my every inch with the utmost joy.

My sock covered feet pressed into the carpeted flooring with each step I took towards his bed making sure to step over the piles of dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.

The sun filtered through the gaps in the window blinds casting pools of golden light on the floor and along his walls causing the crystal prism that hung above his closet to sweep dashes of colour across his walls.

I pulled back the grey top sheet to reveal his peaceful face and I swear my heart was going to burst with the amount of love that I feel for him. His hair was tousled in every direction and a cow lick stuck straight up on the left side of his head.

My hands ran over his hair, smoothing it out while I whispered his name. Embry groaned a bit and rolled over, I whispered his name a little bit louder and moved my hands from his hair to his shoulders running them along his arms finally waking him from his slumber.

“Hi Em!” I gushed out as his brown eyes opened and focused on me. His face split with his toothy smile and his arms shot around me, pulling me down into his chest.

“Do you know how much I missed you?” Embry mumbled into my hair.

“I figured a lot with the amount of texts I got from the pack.” I reached up brushing the hair from his face.

“You can never leave me for that long again. . .I didn’t know what to do without you here.” He ran his hands through my hair placing a gentle kiss upon the top of my head.

“I was so worried about you. I couldn’t protect you and make sure you were safe.”

“Well next time I’ll make sure you can come, then you don’t have to worry.” Craning my neck up I placed a kiss upon his lips which were still a bit swollen from slumber.

“The important thing is that I returned safe and in one piece. The other important thing is I get to spoil you with the gifts I brought back!”

His laugh filled the room sending vibrations through my body.

“Hey! That’s my job to spoil you, not the other way around.” He ruffled my hair causing us both to laugh. I peeled off my socks and wiggled my way under his blanket.

“I think it’s time we catch up on six months worth of cuddling.” I poked a finger into his side.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, you owe me for being gone so long.”

“What? I came back early!” His hands made their way under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my back sending waves of heat through my body from being pressed into him. Oh how I missed my heater.

“Yeah, by like what? Two weeks?” his silky voice chuckled out.

“I missed you Embry.” I told him, placing a kiss on his exposed shoulder.

“I missed you too. Now let's go back to sleep, you look tired.” He said to me as he rested his chin atop my head and pulling me closer.

[skylerskyhigh]

Rottmnt headcanon idea dump

I had a random thought about Rise Leo and Future Leo. What shows would they have liked?

Personally, I know Rise Leo loves Sci-Fi/Action stuff. He loves Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu after all. Obviously he would have liked shows like Star Trek and Star Wars. But I like to imagine that he would also enjoy some medical shows like The Good Doctor. Especially if we lean into the headcanon that Leo is the medic of the group.

He seems to have an interest in crime stuff as well as the satisfying payoff of strategic thinking, so Criminal Minds, NCIS and FBI would interest him too. He might even use those shows to pick up a few tricks.

As for Future Leo (if he gets sent to the past instead of dying), this might be more of a stretch but I just wanna put it in anyway. I think he would have liked Supernatural.

I know it deals with the apocalypse stuff but I have some plausible ways it could work.

I think Future Leo would have wanted that for himself. Dealing with the apocalypse has made him a bit jaded, dealing with survival's guilt, guilt for causing the apocalypse, and losing his brothers. He couldn't stand any Sci-Fi anymore because he didn't want to be reminded by it. Being the "greatest ninja warrior" would have chipped away at his psyche and when he lands back in the past, he would feel unsure about where he stands in this world.

Maybe he finds Supernatural thinking it's a similar story to his and he feels like watching it would be punishment for what he did. Like a bad coping mechanism. He watches the story about two brothers who fight against supernatural forces. He watched as these two brothers fight against forces way stronger than them and come out alive every time. How Sam and Dean would face every enemy and prevail through it together, because family is all they have. Family business and all.

Watching it hurt, but at the same time, it felt like retribution for his mistakes. But overtime, he fell in love with the show's theme about family, found family, free will and sheer determination. He is charmed by all the humour that, while he doesn't understand most of the "old" jokes, he loves the newer ones. The blood and gore got to him sometimes and he would take a break from it but would always come back to watch the next episode.

I think he would lean into Dean's vibe. Wears plaid shirts with a jacket on top. Cranks up his confidence and suave. Quotes the show with his dry humour, knowing full well his younger counterparts wouldn't understand and if they did, they would groan out loud. Maybe he'd join in the Supernatural fandom style of "We have a gif for everything" and send every gif imaginable at his brothers.

What started as a self punishment became a sort of bad comfort show that developed into a deep love for it.

Anyway, that's my headcanon. I'm totally putting this in a fic if I have the opportunity.

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

[samwellwinchesterthebrave]

You know what I'm really enjoying about the campaign 3 characters now that we've gotten a decent amount of backstory for them?

Their relation to trauma and the tragedies in their pasts. So far, most of them have had something terrible and life-altering happen to them and their story is how they dealt with it (or haven't yet) and continued to live.

I'm sure, for a few of them, there might be a quiet wish in the back of their minds that maybe they hadn't managed to survive it (or come back from it in Laudna's case). I have to wonder how much of Orym taking point and protecting others at a cost to himself is due to survivor's guilt. How many times after the attack did Orym wish he had taken Will'a place? Or even that he'd fallen with Will?

How many times after waking up hanging from the tree and having Delilah's voice in her head did Laudna wish she hadn't come back? How often, when she was alone, did she contemplate finding a way out? She built Pate to help with her loneliness and he is made of death. A rat corpse with a raven skull head. He is a symbol for something that may he completely out of Laudna's reach. And having your murderer in your head. How do you deal with that?

While Ashton seems to be letting bygones be bygones now, how angry were they that the Nobodies left? They were there when he fell, barely surviving and left terribly wounded, and they turned their backs on him. After being put back together by Milo, how much pain was he in before adapting to his wounds? How often did Ashton think of finding the Nobodies, what did he imagine he'd say to them? "How could you leave me? Why didn't you try to help after seeing me fall? Was it worth it to escape and leave me to Jiana Hexum's mercies?" How long did the anger and pain simmer in them before finally reaching the point where they could say "eh, it doesn't matter, they did the right thing leaving me to die" even if he doesn't feel it deep down?

How much survivor's guilt must FCG have? He is the only survivor of his family (as far as we know. I have thoughts about the shadowy figure Imogen saw) and he couldn't help them when he had the chance. They constantly put everyone before themselves, taking their damage on himself and even taking damage from it if it can't be sent to an enemy. Their always asking if the others are okay and deflecting questions while answering with absolute truth. It's a delight seeing Sam manipulate conversations to have FCG be truthful while saying almost nothing at all. And, deep down, is there a fear FCG is burying that their responsible somehow for their family's deaths? (A pet theory of mine that somehow he had a hand in it, whether out of his own free will or not)

Chetney is dealing with this massive change to his life. He's become what many view to be a monster, a creature that can be monstrous if not controlled. If he were to give in to the animal mind and instincts, he could hurt everyone around him. What must that feel like, knowing you are a lit fuse on pause and if you waver in determination and will for a moment, boom? And it seems to be that there's a feeling of diminished importance, a uselessness, in the craft he'd devoted his life to. Sure, he is a master woodworker. But his repeated assertions make me think he's trying to convince himself just as much as the others.

Poor Imogen, given a power she didn't ask for, that causes her pain and suffering. She has no idea what it is or why she has it. She has nightmares of this terrifying storm and hears what she thinks is her mother telling her to run. The mother she doesn't remember and hasn't seen since she was a baby. How do you deal with knowing the worst of people's thoughts, sometimes whether you want to or not? What is it like to have that cacophany in your head, never being able to relax or you'll be flooded with voices and voices and voices. To know you are different and that there is no place you fit.

While Fearne's trauma so far isn't as dramatic, I'm sure it's still painful. Losing your parents, even if you believe they are still alive, is never easy. Going 60 or so years without seeing them, without even knowing where they are short of postcards sometimes? Knowing they chose to leave and left you behind? And that isn't counting anything that might have gone on in her grandmother's home. Or court, if we believe Fearne that her grandmother is nobility of a kind in the Feywild. I feel like there's depths we are going to be very surprised by in Fearne.

I really like how the cast is crafting a story of living. Yes, terrible things happened. Yes, we couldn't control them or stop them but we persevered. And now, we need to discover the shape our lives take now

[falcons-wings]

an easy mission

sam wilson x reader

summary: the reader gets hurt on a mission where they received bad intel (this is a terrible summary but we move)

warnings: fighting, injuries, blood, swearing, guns, knives (i think that’s it?? pls tell me if there’s anything else)

wc: 1.5k+

masterlist

a/n: i’ve written for quite a few different fandoms but never marvel for some reason idk, but i love this man with all my heart and he does not nearly get the love he deserves so i thought i’d write this little work for him - also i havent written in a while so im rusty so apologies in advance - hope you enjoy :)

This was meant to be an easy mission. A nice break from all the stress, fighting and pain you had been experiencing recently since you started working with Sam and Bucky. You had even been sent in on your own to where the target was supposed to be whilst the boys kept watch because it was, as Sam so incorrectly said, “a simple in and out job”.

You had decided it was not a simple in and out job.

The target you had to extract was only meant to have two of his men guarding him, hence the easy part of the job, but the twelve guys who were now all either pointing guns at you or in fighting stances, proved that information very wrong.

It didn’t take long for all hell to break loose - there were gunshots flying everywhere as you began taking out some of the men closest to you. You threw a couple of knives from your harness at two of the men who had guns, not even looking to see if they had hit the mark (but you knew they did - you never missed) before running at the guy closest to you. A swift kick to his stomach followed by an elbow to the face was all it took to for him to go down, allowing you to focus on the other guys now approaching you - and a couple more knives were thrown in succession, getting rid of all but one of the shooters before you engaged in hand to hand combat with two of the assailants.

“Y/n? Is everything alright in there?” Sam’s voice spoke through the comm.

“Oh, everything’s just peachy Sam, I just want to say-“ You felt a sharp pain in your abdomen, interrupting your train of thought and speech, but your momentary pause cost you when one of the guys you were fighting got lucky with a hit to your face. Annoyed that you had let down your guard and most likely had a broken nose now, you kicked your leg out towards his shin and as he tripped slightly, you elbowed him in the gut and pulled his arm down as you rolled towards the floor, flipping him over so his front collided with the ground hard enough to knock him unconscious.

You turned your attention back to the remaining assailants when you registered Sam shouting your name over the comms.

“What Sam? I’m a little busy.”

“You stopped mid sentence I thought something had happened, we were about to come and see if you needed help.” You could hear the worry in his voice but the stubborn part of you still refused to ask for help from them even though they were your friends and you knew they wouldn’t think any less of you.

“No it’s all good here, I was just going to say that we’re never listening to your informant ever again and if we do, you’re getting sent into the hideout.”

“What? Why?”

“Well it turns out the two guys guarding the target,” you tackled the last armed guy to the ground, stabbing him in the chest in the process before getting back up and approaching the last couple of people left, “was actually twelve so I’ve not been having the best time here.”

“Shit. We’re coming in.” You could hear him saying something to Bucky but you didn’t care as this was when you noticed the original target was no longer in your sight, only two very angry looking dudes.

“No I’ve got this handled, but I’ve lost the target - he must’ve got away whilst I was distracted. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise y/n, Barnes is going to get the target and I’m coming to you.”

Before you could respond to him, the last two guys came charging at you. You ducked underneath the arm of one, dodging the knife he had trained on you, and kicked him in the back with enough force that he fell to the floor and didn’t get back up. This left only one who swung at your face, which you sidestepped out the way of, but unfortunately failed to see him swing his leg out to kick you in the stomach. You stepped back, doubled over in pain for a moment, but quickly recovered and took out the last knife from your harness, throwing it at his chest with perfect accuracy as he made another approach at you.

The body fell to the floor just as you heard loud footsteps running into the room behind you. Still on high alert you spun to fight this next person but instead relaxed when you saw Sam run into the room and stop in his tracks when he looked at you.

“I did say I had it handled.” You smiled smugly at him, ignoring the stab of pain from your nose at the movement, but the smile quickly faded when he still didn’t say anything, not even one of his normal comebacks.

“What? Is there something wrong?”

He shook his head slightly and began walking slowly towards you, “Y/n, you’re bleeding. We need to get you help.”

“It’s just a broken nose Sam, trust me I’ve survived worse.”

He was right in front of you now, his dark eyes conveying so much worry as he looked you over more closely. “No y/n, we need to get you to a hospital.”

You didn’t get what he was on about until he angled his head at your stomach, where you could now see the bullet wound you must’ve received in the mess of the fight bleeding profusely.

“Oh. Well that’s not ideal.”

You stumbled slightly as you started registering the pain you were in, the adrenaline from the fight beginning to wear off now. Sam was quick to steady you with his arms, and the concern on his face, his concern for you, warmed your heart a little even amidst the pain.

He manoeuvred you to the floor to rest whilst he spoke to Bucky over the comms to update him on the situation, and it might’ve been the blood loss speaking but you couldn’t help but think to yourself that he looked even more attractive than normal. He raised an eyebrow at you when he caught you staring, and quickly shaking the thoughts out of your head you began speaking.

“I’m sorry, I fucked up, I didn’t want to call for back up so you would know I can handle things and then I lost the target and then apparently got injured in the mess. All in all not my best mission, so I’m sorry.”

He shook his head at you, crouching down in front of you, “No y/n, you have absolutely nothing to apologise for. This is 100% on me and I’m so so sorry - I hate to see you get hurt, and that’s exactly what happened here.”

“How’s it on you?”

“It was my informant who gave the wrong information which I believed without confirming it, and then you went in here with no back up. You could’ve died y/n. I- No, we, can’t handle another loss, especially if it was you, you mean too much to Bucky and I now.” He looked down at his hands, avoiding your eyes, “I’ll do better next time.”

You hated how sad and broken he looked as he admitted this to you, and bad injuries or not, you were having none of his wallowing today. “Listen to me here Samuel Wilson - you are not to blame for this, sometimes there is bad intel and that’s just something we have to deal with. And if you will not let me blame myself for anything that’s gone wrong today then I ban you from thinking the same about yourself okay?”

He finally looked up at you to see the sincerity in your eyes and gave a small smile, “Okay.”

“I hate to break up the moment,” you both sat up quickly, ready to fight, to see Bucky approaching the two of you and dragging the target behind him, “but we need to get you to a hospital and this guy to a cell.”

“That might be a good idea as my vision is starting to go a little blurry.”

“Shit, okay, I’m gonna pick you up is that alright?” Sam asked, only needing a nod from you before you were in his arms bridal style and following Bucky out of the building.

As you approached the vehicle you were using, you poked Sam’s cheek to get his attention.

“I don’t want to see you get hurt either by the way, you mean too much to me as well.”

His eyes shined as he looked down at you, but his attention was quickly caught by Bucky muttering under his breath “God, just kiss already, you two make me feel sick.”

You huffed a laugh, ignoring your own blushing cheeks, and instead looked at Sam who had his own red cheeks and was now glaring at Bucky with a look, that if it could, would kill him.

He soon gave up with glaring at his friend, and instead looked down at you with a small, possibly hopeful smile on his face that you readily returned.

[marvelvsmarvel]

Here is my petition to bring back Marvel One-Shots

This is a screenshot of Red Skull for Marvel’s What If but it reminded me of things that I used to post about around that age old question “What happened to so-and-so or this-and-that?” That would be a terrible title for a show but I’m reminded that the Marvel One-Shots originally answered such questions. Here’s a sample of 5 Episodes I think would be great to explore!

Episode 1: What happened to the Red Skull?

When we last saw the leader of Hydra in Captain America: The First Avenger he was trying to wield the power of the Tesseract by hand before appearing to be dematerialized into a portal in the sky. When next we see him is a whole WTF moment in Avengers Infinity War appearing more or less as a ghost of Red Skull and claiming to be a guide to the Soul Stone. He makes mention that he once tried to wield the power of the Soul Stone and that it is why he is in the state he is. Story done right? Wrong! Where did the Tesseract send him? What other trouble could he have gotten into or caused along the way?

Episode 2: Secret Avengers

While the Black Widow film helped to fill in some gaps in the timeline between Captain America Civil War and IW there is a whole year of being on the run with Cap and Sam that was not spent with days at the beach. We know that they broke the rest of Team Cap out of the Raft and dropped off Bucky in Wakanda. We know that Clint and Scott cut deals to go home on house arrest but at some point the Vision turned off his tracker to join Wanda and the rest of them where they then make a deal for time away together. But Cap, Sam, and Nat undoubtedly looked battle worn when we see them in the train station in Avengers Endgame. What missions did they do? Which villains did they encounter? How many times did they cross paths with Secretary Ross and his forces during that time?

Episode 3: What happened to Loki prime when he fell off the Bifrost?

Let’s finally settle it! After Loki let go of Thor and fell into the abyss we thought he was dead! But then somehow he randomly shows back up through the Tesseract wielding another infinity stone in his staff and ready to take over the world in Avengers 2012. “I’ve seen worlds you’ve not known. I have grown Odinson in my exile.” What worlds has he seen? How has he grown? There were rumors and speculation that he did die and that Thanos somehow resurrected him. But how and for what purpose? Just examining the character he grew more as a warrior. It didn’t seem like Thanos sent him to Earth to find Infinity Stones but actually to conquer it and he even gave him the Mind Stone on top of his Chitauri army to assist in doing so. But why? Why I say??? I wanna know!!!

Episode 4: Tales to Astonish

There’s about 70 years of MCU history between when Cap went into the ice and then when Hank Pym unofficial-officially resigned from SHIELD. While I would hold out hope that they do a Hank Pym Ant-Man origin story franchise sometime down the road a One-Shot could be a perfect teaser towards that. Was he the only powered person during that time? What kind of threats did he have to handle?

Episode 5: Budapest

I know we all know what “happened” in Budapest now but we were only teased even further to what REALLY happened! Three days hiding out in the train station crawl space that Yelena called “cozy”. But we’re not just talking the time battling the Hungarian Special Forces to survive and get out but exploring the arrow marks left in her apartment wall. Were those intended for her or to help her? There is a good chance that the Hawkeye series touches on his origin story and might even touch on this as well. But this is how Clint and Natasha’s relationship was formed, when Clint made a different call, that would solidify that forever ending on Vormir, and we deserve to see how it happened!

I wanna reiterate that One-Shots kind of show behind the scenes or fill in blanks in a single episode like What If. And again I have no doubts that the MCU has plans to continue to fill in the time gap between the 1940s -1980s hopefully with other heroes. For now there are the upcoming Shang Chi and Eternals films that are going to add more historical context and What If will play out some fun scenarios. So maybe some of these answers may never be answered if not through fanfiction or mere imagination...

[cassiecasyl]

sometimes you just don’t know the answer (wait for me)

Anyone remember this fic? Well, I’ve finally finished it!!!! 

Chapter 1  |  Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3 

or read the whole fic on ao3!!!! 

chapter 4: what died didn’t stay dead 

Are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark? 

  -  Lost Stars by Keira Knightley  

It’s an old tale, and that’s not how it ends. 

Long, shadowy fingers wrapped around Castiel’s wrists, pulling him back, slowly and deliberately leading him to be devoured by the Empty. Dean could almost hear the universe’s malicious laugh. He’d be stripped of his love once more. 

No. Ancient, familiar rage boiled his blood and he narrowed his eyes, glaring at the shadows. It was bleeding love, protective and fierce. There was no fear, because everything was already on the line —  Dean had nothing left to lose. “Don’t you dare,” he growled, at nothing and everything in particular. They couldn’t lose now. Not with him standing in the light as Cas succumbed back to the dark — it wasn’t fair. 

Dean did what he couldn’t back then, what shock and fear and disbelief — and perhaps, above it all, cruel, cruel, capricious Gods — prevented; he reached forward, and where he touched, he brought light with him, breaking into tiny rainbows against the universe’s shards. He disentangled Cas’s hand and grabbed them himself, holding on and never letting go. 

The fabric of stars was in their hands, being overwritten as they stood there. “You’re not leaving,” Dean promised, and Cas looked up at his sun that lit up the world. Finally, Dean pulled him close, holding him in the here and now, just tightly enough to make sure that no dust escaped his vessel. “Not on my watch,” he whispered defiantly, his voice breaking, and Cas almost chuckled. 

I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition. 

Dean breathed in his angel’s smell — home with a whiff of honey. How the sweet substance always clinged onto the vessel was a mystery, but Dean wouldn’t want it any other way. Cas nuzzled his face into the side of his neck in retaliation and Dean relaxed for the first time in years. They were safe. They made it. Cas was solid and alive and real and here. Nothing could ever bring them apart. 

Golden light drowned out the retreating darkness behind Cas, and the angel looked up in admiration, that childlike adoration in his eyes that had Dean absolutely smitten. Fuck, he thought, I’m in love. Laughter bubbled up his throat, carefree like the amber sky, the beginning of a new morning. 

Maybe, in this moment, they found a new destination that would always lead them back to each other's arms, or maybe it had been there all along. Their journey was the same as yours, the same as anyone’s, yet so uniquely different — they’ve defied the universe, won a challenge set up to fail. At last, they knew the way, knew where to place their feet — where they’ve always been going. Home. Turned from promise to reality, alive between their arms. Home. The long way round. 

Dean loosened their hug to look the angel into his eyes — the drowning blue a sky he was falling into, or maybe, flying. He gulped, suddenly nervous like a schoolboy standing before their crush. “There’s something I need to tell you,” he said, fighting against the instinct of wanting to escape these piercing, knowing eyes, because his words held so much weight. “I—,” he started and stopped. This was stupid. He’d said it before. He just let Cas out of hell through a deal that required true love. Why couldn’t he just say it? 

“I know,” Castiel intervened, always wanting to comfort him. Bless the angel. 

“No,” Dean shook his head, “I need to say it. Because you deserve to hear it.” Cas’s eyes were impossibly patient, giving him all the time in the world. He was the calm ocean against his forest fire, waiting for him like he’d done for years — Dean couldn’t let him wait any longer. 

“I love you,” he said, whispering the promise into the sky so it may let it be known to the whole world; Dean Winchester loves Castiel. It was a simple fact of life, and he was found. 

“I know,” Cas repeated his answer, smiling. The happiness in his eyes made it all worth it. 

“Can’t believe you just Han Solo-ed me,” Dean joked, and Cas bellowed out a laugh. 

“I love you,” Cas said, lost and found in the moment. His heart could’ve contently jumped out of his chest right now and Dean found himself thankful Fred Jones wasn’t around. 

His soul had been broken and shattered countless times, but now, every last particle constructed a wondrous mosaic with the ragged pieces of Cas’s grace, cosmic consequences pulling them together rather than apart. One could’ve called it celestial, heavenly, divine even; but it was fundamentally human, terrene.  

As sunlight found them, they found each other. They were stars in the daylight, no longer dancing around each other but colliding into one. Dean almost expected an explosion as their lips met — it would’ve been fitting. But, alas, there were no fireworks, no big announcment. It was the softest touch he had ever experienced, true like nothing else. It was the sunlight warming up their bodies, the sunlight Dean flew right into. It was something he’d never thought possible — love. 

They were two stars finally found, lighting up the dark, walking away from the night sky, from a graveyard. Walking home. Their light burned on, growing to a calming, graceful blue as it filled their own sky. It was filled with a love that had done everything — it had defied the universe, defied doubts and fear — and had survived. But then again, what isn’t alive can never truly die. They’d pulled it into life, away from the realm of uncertainties, of will they, won’t they. 

Cas was here, alive and well, and they kissed under a rainbow. It was a fairytale, and for a moment, Dean blinked, trying to wake himself up. This could all be a dream. He could wake up any moment and still be in their bunker, sunken to the ground in sorrow. Dean drew in a shaky breath, hoping with all his might that this was real. 

“I’m here,” the angel said in his heavenly voice, cupping his cheeks. Dean grabbed onto his hand, holding on for dear life. “We’re real.” 

Behind them, the sun disappeared behind clouds, revealing the familiar surroundings of the map room. Home. Dean looked back at Cas and smiled. With the angel at his side, it truly was home. They made it. Dean laughed in realization, and drew Cas close again, reuniting their lips. They made it. 

“I really didn’t need to see that,” Sam, ever the cockblock, interrupted. As Castiel turned away, Dean pulled him back for a quick peck, just for the hell of it. He was allowed to do that. Holy hell, he was allowed to do that. No cage in hell would ever be able to contain his grin, not ever again. 

“It’s good to see you back,” Sam greeted them before Dean could think of a good retort to his earlier line. He welcomed Cas with a hug, and then embraced his brother too. The last time Dean didn’t mind everything being so lovey-dovey must’ve been when they were kids. Or maybe in the Empty. Not that he’d admit that. He briefly squeezed Cas’s hand, just to remind himself that he was still there. The angel looked at him, smiling softly, and laid his head on his shoulder, nuzzling closer. 

“Castiel!” Jack stormed into the room and into his father’s arms, uncaring about Dean right next to them, who huffed in complaint. “You did it.” The kid was all smiles and laughter — one of those moments that showed his age. Dean smiled. His family was all there. For the first time in decades, he felt happy. 

“Of course we did it,” Dean said, his cheeks starting to hurt with how much he was smiling. He never noticed how he could see them at the edge of his vision when he smiled wholeheartedly — something he knew was promised to happen a lot more now. “Who do you take us for?” 

“The most epic love story ever written,” Jack answered and Dean blushed. Suddenly, everything was too warm and too much all at once. Realization was still sickering in, overwhelming the man. He retreated slightly, away from Castiel, even though the angel felt like safety, love, everything he’s missed for years and didn’t even realize he needed. 

“Shut up,” Dean mumbled, looking down. 

“It’s okay,” Cas assured him. As Dean glanced up at him, the angel’s face was lit up in admiration for his adoptive son. He had never seen something more beautiful, more serene than the love in his angel’s eyes. He was glowing with love, and Dean was basking in his light. He was the stars blinking hope into the night, the moon guiding the hunter home, the sun over a long lost planet. Otherwordly, yet wholly home. 

Dean would never believe his luck. A part of him would never believe this story, scoff if told to him, memories already bathed in doubt. He couldn’t trust his own mind, could he? Soothing grace touched his mind, assuring him once more. I heard you. I’m here. We’re what’s real. I love you. 

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Sam said, still chuckling. Dean’s head snapped up at his brother, being ripped so suddenly from Cas’s sweet nothings that hummed on quieter now. “I’ve known for years. It’s hardely something one can miss. Pretty much everybody knows.” 

Dean opened his mouth. That’s what I’m worried about, he would’ve replied once before, and some shadows still wanted him to, but he found that he didn’t care. Something had changed, and that something was the angel at his side loving him unashamedly. Castiel, who was never afraid to love.  

You changed me, Dean. 

Yeah, you did too, bud. 

Instead, he nodded at Sam in appreciation and wrapped an arm around his angel. They’d walked through hell and worse, and showed the universe their love, and the universe had bowed to it. There was nothing left to hide, and nothing they couldn’t beat together. 

“Damn right we did it,” Dean whispered, making Cas laugh. Because if anyone could’ve done this, it was them. 

[marvelousmarvelimagines]

Burn

Pairing - Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary - You knew that things were going to change the moment that Captain America walked into you and your boyfriend’s lives. You just hadn’t expected them to change so quickly. 

Word Count - 2.5k

Warnings - None except angst! But I promise it’s a happy ending! :)

Could you say that you didn’t see it coming? That you were blindsided? That you had never expected things to end this way? No. From the moment that Captain America had come knocking on the doorway of your apartment, you knew that things were about to change. 

You could admit that you hadn’t expected it to end so quickly after that. 

“I’ve got to go help him. I feel like . . . I’ve found what I’m supposed to do.” He told you, sitting across from you at your small dining room table. 

 “I thought working at the VA was your calling?” You asked. It was where the two of you had met. You had been working at the front desk there for years now. 

“This is different.” He replied, and you watched as his fingers tapped on the table. It was an anxious habit he had come back with from his two tours. “Captain America needs my help, and I can’t turn him down.” 

“Even if it means losing me?” You asked, your voice a whisper in the air passing between the two of you. 

There was silence for a long time after that. You knew this couldn’t be easy for him. The two of you had gone through so much together that letting each other go had always seemed an impossible thing to do. How would you survive? Even though Sam was the one sitting here, cutting the tie, you knew he was thinking the same thing. 

“Even if it means losing you.” Sam answered. 

And just like that, it was over. 

____________________

The first time you saw Sam Wilson after your break up was almost a year later. The forces of the Universe must have been against you, because it was while you were on a third date with a guy. It had been going okay, you always tried to give it at least three dates before you gave up, but you had a feeling it wasn’t going to go anywhere. 

You had a hard time finding any hope about a relationship these days. Not after you had lost the person you thought might have been your soulmate, but you couldn’t sit around your apartment feeling sorry for yourself. You knew he wasn’t. Every once in a while you would get a letter, a postcard, from somewhere across the country, but you never replied. How were you supposed to be getting over him if you were getting reminders of his presence all the time? 

He hadn’t sent a letter this month, so you assumed he had gotten the message, or was too busy saving the world, but then you saw him, sitting at a bar with Steve Rogers, and all the hurt came rushing back like a tidal wave. “Hey, um, can we go somewhere else?” You asked your date, hoping and praying he would say yes. 

“Why? I’ve got us a table reserved and everything.” He told you like it was a big deal, and he had pulled a lot of strings to do so. 

“It’s just my ex is here -” You started to explain, but he cut you off. 

“So?” He asked, giving you an annoyed look. 

Yeah, this relationship was definitely not going anywhere, but you didn’t want to be rude, knowing he had already driven to come into town, and shook your head. You took one more glance at Sam, who hadn’t noticed your presence, and you sighed. “Never mind.” 

This response seemed to please him. He smiled, and gestured toward a booth in the corner. “Go ahead and have a seat, I’ll get us some drinks.” 

It was not your night, that much was for sure. You rubbed your forehead, already feeling a stress headache coming on, and not looking forward to the next at least hour or so. You leaned against the back of the booth, closing your eyes and trying to focus on anything other than the man who you could feel from all the way across the room. You were so lost in thought you didn’t even notice the drink in front of you until your date spoke up. 

“I got you some red wine. I’m sure you’ll find it to your satisfaction.” He said, with a grin. 

You, on the other hand, wanted to grimace. “Oh, thank you.” You replied, once again, not wanting to be rude, and took a sip, trying to fight back a grimace. He was still standing there, and you knew he was assuming that you would scoot over so he would slide in beside you, but you had always thought that was so weird, so you didn’t move, pretending to focus on your glass until he finally sat down across from you. 

In fact, you didn’t even look at him until he cleared his throat, trying to grab your attention. “You look nice tonight.” 

Surprised, but pleased by the genuine compliment, you gave him a hesitant smile. “Thank you, you look -”

“I mean, I’m sure your hair would look nicer down, but -”

Wow. It really was going to be one of the worst dates of your life. 

“She looks great no matter how she wears her hair actually.” A voice interrupted, and your whole body tensed. 

You would recognize that voice anywhere, with the amount of times you had heard it, even though it had been a year since you had heard it in person. You tried to prepare yourself, but there was no way to do so. 

Sam Wilson was not a man you could look at without getting flustered. He looked as great as you remembered, cute smirk, strong jaw, soft eyes, but there was a hint of tiredness, along with something else you couldn’t put your finger on as he looked at you. You wondered what it was, but then decided to chalk it up to him seeing you for the first time in so long. You knew that you were definitely feeling shaken up looking at him, so you imagined he was too. 

Memories of your times together started to cloud your memory as you two stared at each other, and you had no idea how long you were looking at him until your date spoke up, clearing his throat unnecessarily loudly. “Excuse me, we’re on a date.” He spoke up. 

God had his voice always been that irritating, and you had never noticed? “Not a great one from the looks of it.” Sam said, never taking his eyes off of you. 

“Excuse me?!” 

Sam didn’t even spare him a glance. He lifted his arm, and in his hands was a bottle of your favorite beer. “Want to go for a walk?” He asked you, holding it out as an invitation. 

Oh this was a bad idea. A terrible idea. Sam stirred up a lot of emotions inside of you that you struggled to keep in check on a day to day basis. Being alone with him would only bring them to the surface. Not to mention you were on a date, no matter how terrible it was going, and it would be rude to - 

“For old time’s sake?” Sam added, as if he could see your wavering thoughts. 

Ah well, you knew this wasn’t going anywhere anyway. You took the drink from Sam, ignoring the sputtering man at the table, and followed him upstairs and outside to the balcony. 

The two of you sat in silence for several moments, staring out at the city beneath you. Since he had been the one to speak first, you felt like it was your turn, but at the same time, what were you supposed to say? How much you missed him? How sometimes you would wake up in the mornings and forget he was gone? How you had quit your job at the VA because the memories were too much? Sam had been the one to dump you to go on this grand adventure with Captain America. So why was he still sending you postcards and trying to talk to you now? 

“Why did you never write me back?” Sam said, breaking the silence. 

“Why did you keep writing to me when I didn’t?” You asked, avoiding his question as you took a sip of your beer. God that was so much better than red wine. 

“We were together for three years -” He started to say, but you cut him off. 

“Exactly, Sam. We were together until you decided to end it. Do you know how it felt getting those letters? It was like I was getting stabbed, over and over, and you were holding the knife.” You told him, anger rising in your chest. All you had wanted to do was try and get over him, yet here he was, trying to pull you back, like he had tried with those letters. 

When he replied, you could hear the frustration in his tone. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you! I just . . .” He trailed off, and you found yourself getting even more upset, wanting to know what he was about to say. 

“You just what?” You repeated, urging him on. When he didn’t respond again, you couldn’t take it anymore. You put your beer down on the table behind him. “You know what? Keep your beer. When you decide why you wanted to continue to make my life miserable, you can let me know.” You said, tears streaming down your face as you stormed off, doing your best not to look back. 

____________________

There were no more letters. Nothing to remind you that Sam Wilson existed at all until his face was plastered all over your television. 

Criminal, wanted by the government, treason, all scary words that didn’t fit the man that you knew and loved. You knew something wasn’t right, and you couldn’t help but worry about him no matter how hard you tried to forget him. 

Then one night, your phone rang, and when you answered, it was a familiar voice on the other end of the line. “Hey sweet girl.” 

The voice was filled with static, and you knew he couldn’t be calling from a good phone, and you had no idea how far away he was either, but there was no mistaking his voice. “Sam,” You sighed in relief, grabbing your pillow and hugging it close to your chest. “What the hell is going on? You’re all over the TV, and they’re calling you -”

Sam chuckled, like he always had when you started rambling. “Yeah, I bet I am. It’s a long story. I’ll tell you about it when I get back.” 

Those words sent a shock straight to your heart. “When you get back -”

“I guess if I come back.” He replied, and in seconds, your anxiety multiplied. 

“Sam . . .” Your voice was calm even though you were not. “What are you doing?” 

“There’s this guy . . . Big, alien guy. We have to take him out, or it’s going to be real bad.” He said, and your fingers tightened their grip on the pillow you were holding. “If something happens, I wanted to answer your question.” 

“My question?” What question? You hadn’t talked to him in so long. What could he have to tell you - 

“I didn’t send those letters to hurt you.” Sam said, and you didn’t dare interrupt him. “I sent them because about one minute after I walked out of our apartment, I realized how bad I messed up.” There was a pause as he waited to see if you had anything to say, but you couldn’t speak. “It thought if I sent you those letters, I would keep you thinking about me. Now I know how selfish that was. This whole damn thing is selfish, but if something happens to me, I wanted you to know I still-”

“Shut up.” You cut him off before he could say anything else, taking a deep breath and forcing yourself to hold back your tears. “Don’t say another word until you come back here and can say it in person.” You demanded. 

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a few moments, but when he spoke, you could almost hear the grin in his voice. “Yes, ma’am.” There was a loud rumble of noise from his end, and when he spoke, his tone was serious once more. “I’ve got to go.” 

“Sam?” You said, stopping him from hanging up. “Please be careful.” 

____________________

Five years had passed in what felt like the blink of an eye. For you, it basically had been. One moment you had been standing in line for some takeout, hoping that at any moment your phone would start vibrating against your hip, and Sam would be calling you to tell you that he was on his way. The next you had popped up in the exact same place, that was now deserted, half the people that had been there with you materializing as well. All of you were equally confused, and it took awhile for everyone to realize what had happened. 

In about a week, you were busy moving all of your stuff into a new apartment since your old one was now occupied. Everything had been put down in their various rooms when there was a knock on your door. Letting out a groan, you stood up off the couch, assuming you had forgotten something, and made your way over to the door, not even bothering to see who was on the other side before opening it. 

“Hey,” Sam Wilson said, appearing at your doorway as if it was the most normal thing in the world. 

All your emotions came rushing back in a tidal wave, and you threw your arms around his neck, clutching him close to you. At once, he wrapped his own arms around you, hugging you even tighter against his chest. “You’re alive.” You murmured against his skin. You hadn’t known, and you didn’t even know who you could call to find out. 

“I had a promise to keep, didn’t I?” Sam replied, walking you backwards into your new apartment and shutting the door behind him without letting even an inch of space between the two of you. 

“But Sam . . .” You pulled back enough so that you could look into his eyes. “There’s so much going on right now . . . don’t they need you to -”

“They can wait. I’m not wasting any more time away from you.” He said, one of his large hands reaching up to cup your face. “Nothing’s been right since I’ve walked away, and I want to change that right now.” 

Tears started filling up your eyes as he spoke, one of your hands reaching up to hold the one that was against your face. “Sam . . .” 

“I love you.” He said, “and I’m never going to forget how much again.” 

The logical part of your brain said that you needed to make him prove it. See him grovel, all the normal things that a person wishes for after a break up. After all, what assurances did you have that the next time Sam wanted to go on a big adventure, the same thing wouldn’t happen again? 

Your heart, on the other hand, knew Sam Wilson like nothing else. Yes, the possibility was there that he would hurt you again, but the sincerity in his eyes was obvious, and besides . . . 

Maybe it was worth it. Just to keep loving Sam for a little while longer. 

“I love you too,” You replied, leaning up on your tiptoes to kiss him for the first time in a long time.

It was worth every second apart.

[karimac]

...in the details, Part 2

A/N: Warning for this series: 18+ audience (minors DNI), some cinematic level violence, some fluff and angst. Doubt that smut will be involved, but it may be implied. I’ll make sure that is noted clearly if it pops up.

All relationships, at this point anyway, are platonic.

Please do not repost or translate my work. Likes, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

A bit about the OC Kari

Part 1

All mistakes are my own.

Word count: 2,249

Before you ventured into Westview, a flight of birds overhead reminded you of Redwing and Sam. Poor Sam. That sixth sense you had told you that fight at the compound was going to lead you all into very weird places. And the first one left you very squarely not in the room once again.

This time it was Steve and Bucky being thick as thieves, and you and Sam were…making a sandwich run? Couldn’t exactly get GrubHub to make a delivery to an attack site, could you? Bruce did not want some driver with a cellphone putting video up on Snapchat. “How would that look?” he bemoaned as he worked on the time travel platform. “We’d be getting tourists left and right. I don’t need that.” So off you and Sam went.

“You know, you could just, you know,” Sam started to say as he waved his hands like he thought a wizard would do, “and just poof up a plate of stuff. Right? With extra food for Banner, of course. He inhales tacos like nobody’s business. Just ask Tic Tac.”

“Sam, what have I told all of you before? Magic is the transfer of energy and matter. No suitable food stuff means no sandwiches. I can’t just think about the deli counter at Wegman’s and make a sandwich and a side of coleslaw appear in my hand. So, we’ll order on the app and pick it up. Just like everyone else. Before I hit the button, any changes to your order?”

“No, it’s fine. But don’t tell me you’ve never done shit like that when you’ve had your back against it,” Falcon huffed as you went to the rental car you’d gotten earlier in the day. That, thank Heaven, was easy to get at the local but extremely small airport.

“I’ve killed small rodents and eaten them, and I don’t mean just rabbits. Snakes, too. And, well, birds of prey, like falcons,” you groaned as you started to get into the car, but you stopped and headed back to the passenger side. “And I know you hate my driving, so here you go,” you said as you handed Sam the keys. “Sorry it isn’t a Ferrari. I was lucky to get this Kia. They didn’t exactly have anything race course worthy.”

As Sam climbed in, he saw bags of gear in the back seat. “You pulling a Wanda? Need some me time away from all us testosterone jockeys? Cyborg is going to be pissed.”

“Bucky has other stuff to deal with, trust me,” you said as you rolled your eyes. “He does not need to add Crazy Old Broad to his growing list of things to do and people to take care of this week. I heard him talking to Steve…”

“You? Eavesdropping? You are human!” Sam smirked, but then he saw the comment had hit a nerve. “You know I was kidding, right?”

“I know you are,” you said as you swallowed hard. In reality, you were not exactly buying that last comment. Sam was a sweetheart, but his comment sounded like things Tony and Steve had said about you in the weeks before the Time Heist. It depended on the situation, but one or the other of them seemed to question you, your motives, your powers and what they could do, and, at times, your grasp on reality. You did have a connection to a goddess they couldn’t see. Blaming them for having those questions just was not in your wheelhouse. “And yeah, maybe I just need to go figure a few things out. You guys know how to get me back here if you need me.”

“Somehow I don’t think Steve, Bucky and I would look so great standing and screaming your name in the middle of a fight,” Sam noted as he finally turned the key in the ignition.

“Now who is having issues with gender roles?” you said with a very pronounced side glance. “Sam, we are all human. We all need a save now and then. Maybe you’ll never have to utter my name again after today, unless you guys can’t find something you think I hid? Thor will be back once he’s done exploring the universe, and you can always get him here fast if you have Strange find him. And Wong is just dying for his shot as a full time Avenger. We all know that! And I can go back and do, well, goddess stuff, I guess. And raise horses. Just, please, make sure no one drops the ball on Parker. He lost his parents and his uncle. Losing Tony will hit him harder than anyone likely expects. He’s a good kid. He just needs support and guidance. Now, want to get this thing moving, or do you want me to drive?”

“And have you antagonize the local cops by going Mach 1? No thank you!”

You had to laugh at that one. You did tend to floor it. A lot.

++++++++++

A short time later, you and Sam rolled back to the site Bruce had chosen to set up the time travel platform. After you two handed out all the food, you realized it was really time for you to get going. No, you didn’t have a train, plane or bus to catch or someone to meet. You just knew it was going to get harder to make the break the longer you stayed there.

“She’s pulling a Wanda on us,” Sam said as he finished off the last of the sweet tea he had grabbed at the deli where you’d gotten food. “I think it’s too much he-man macho stuff, but she won’t fess up to that.”

“Wilson, how many brothers did I have?” you asked as you cleaned up the trash from the table Bruce had borrowed from a local park that had been wrecked during the battle. It had a huge hole in the end, but hey, it was good enough for the moment.

“Eight,” Bucky replied before Sam got the chance. “Just don’t quiz me on all their names. I remember your twin, Branan, and the one who was the vampire. Ewan? Right?”

“Yup, that’s right,” you grinned at Buck. “And no quiz. Promise,” you said as you raised your left hand and crossed your heart with your right.

“Why are you leaving?” Bruce asked as he adjusted the sling on his still injured arm, putting extra emphasis on the word “are” as he uttered it. “We need all the help we can get.”

Bruce, heaven help him, was suddenly one of the last active OG Avengers standing on Earth. Thor was off finding himself with the Guardians, and no one could really begrudge him that. He needed time to heal, and you knew all too well that was not easy nor time limited. Clint had more or less retired again after Natasha’s sacrifice on Vormir. Steve was getting ready to take the stones back, but upon his return, he’d likely join up with Sam and Bucky again to root out any remaining Hydra cells. That left Bruce in a very different place this time around.

“Bruce, you don’t really need me being a head case. Trust me. You do not need me giving any news outlets ammunition to blast headlines that make the team look less than spotless. I need to go home, at least for a little while,” you replied, knowing full well you were not telling him or the others everything. “And as I reminded Sam, you guys can just call me, and I’ll be here. Just whisper my name. Or yell it. Whatever works. Text me! If it’s an emergency, and if I’m not in the middle of some new damned war on my end, I’ll come running. But I have a feeling you guys are going to be just fine. Hell, I’ll give you a blessing before I head out.”

Yeah. A blessing. More like the final nail in the coffin. The words to start the spell to make them forget you.

“Big guy, you first,” you said as you put your hands on Bruce’s injured right arm. “And no, I am doing this, Bruce. It won’t be a full healing, but it should speed things up. You got this, big guy. Biggest brain. Biggest heart. May you realize just how much this team was built with your sweat and tears as it was anyone else’s.”

“I can’t change your mind?” Bruce asked as he pretended to wipe a tear from his eye and pout a bit. “And I am not asking because you are likely the only one of us who can cook…”

“I’m pretty sure all of you guys can cook something. Maybe not a good Colcannon or a fine Dublin coddle, but you’ll survive. As for the cupcakes, you guys may need to get a bakery on speed dial,” you added with a laugh because you knew they’d make that bakery rich. The Avengers loved their sugary snacks.

“Just don’t bug my sister, Bruce,” Sam noted as he waited for you to come over to him. “I still remember asking why the Cupcake Lady had a sword that night when those demon things attacked near the tower. I never asked. Why the cupcakes?”

“And not why the demons or the sword?” you said as you nearly choked on your words. “You realize that was before Steve saw me at Peggy’s funeral. That night was truly a fluke, Sam. No one was supposed to see that side of me then. As for the cupcakes, they were my entry to your world. Gifts from a fan girl. They’re easy to carry, a synch to personalize when needed, and everyone can have their own without fighting,” you said with a grin as Sam shook his head. “What?”

“You sound like Sarah.”

“Then I am in good company. Tell her the good stuff you’ve told me all these years. The words of wisdom. The little jokes. The pep talks. Tell her often. A single mom with two boys needs that. Be there for her, and drag these guys to see her, too. It would do the boys a world of good to have all their uncles stop by. Now, Samuel,” you said as you gave him a hug, “remember to keep these guys flying right. And if the world drops opportunity in your lap, whatever it might be, do not look at it and push it away without a lot of thought. The world needs Sam Wilson, the hero with a heart.”

And now the hardest part of this good bye had you wiping tears from your eyes. “I know. I’m a big mush. Girls from Brooklyn would laugh at me for this, right? Sorry, but girls from Naas and Athy do cry sometimes. I’m going to miss you two lugs. A lot.”

“Lugs. Last time you called us that was in ’43,” Bucky said as he looked down at his feet for a minute. “Somehow Hydra missed that memory.”

“You’ll see us again,” Steve said as he turned briefly to see where the case with the stones was on the platform. “But this time, it better not take 70 years.”

As you looked at the best friends, something about their auras seemed off. They had been planning something when you almost walked in on their chat a few days ago. You had no idea what it was, and you suddenly didn’t want to hang around to find out what the next act was going to bring.

“Just…watch your back, Steve. From what Clint said about Vormir, that one is going to be tough. And Buck, whatever comes next, I’m rooting for you. Even if you can’t see me doing it.”

“You really don’t have to leave,” Bruce kept insisting as you hefted your backpack on your shoulder.

“Dr. Banner, do you really want to fight my demons after all this? I have enemies. You just haven’t seen them yet. Frankly, the only reason that Hydra didn’t grab me before I hooked up with the Howling Commandos was because I was pulled into another dimension by one of those enemies. It was only by some weird twist of fate that Peggy found me when she did. If the veil between worlds had not been so thin near that camp, I might never have made it back, or Hydra might have found me first. It was pure dumb luck.”

{{And, Heaven help me, part of it was these two lugs over here}} you thought as you turned to head to your car. Then you stopped. This was a lot harder than it had been any time before, but it was the curse of an immortal to have to keep moving on. “I wish you luck, joy and happiness. I wish you peace. And, if you are truly lucky, memories long enough to have little space to spare for the likes of me because they are filled with so much more! See you in my dreams, for now anyway, fellas.”

++++++++++

You rolled out of there before Steve started his mission to return the stones, and you got a text from Bruce hours later telling you everything that had happened. Steve not coming back as planned. Then an older version of Steve shows up, sitting on a bench near the platform, and he gives Sam the shield. Right in front of Bucky.

It was now weeks later. No. It was months later, and here you were staring up at the sign for Westview. You’d gotten out of your rental car so you could get a feeling for the area around this little town.

“You made it back,” a voice said behind you. “How are you, after all that mess with Wanda and that Agatha woman? She was a real piece of work.”

The person speaking to you was Dr. Darcy Lewis. Friend of Thor and Dr. Jane Foster. Why was she even here?

You couldn’t fully figure out what the hell she was talking about. You didn’t remember being here before. Yet, you knew who she was, and you had never met her before. Or at least you couldn’t remember meeting her, here or anywhere else.

“Apparently not as great as I thought I was,” you muttered as you winced again. “Dr. Lewis, how long ago was the blip?”

“Give or take a week, about six months ago,” she replied as you started to pace. “Why?”

“Shit. Not this again,” you hissed as you looked up at the sign once more. “I think I’m going to need your help. How much do you know about Celtic myths and Irish history, Dr. Lewis?”