#and we know elain can convince people with a few smiles

[shadowqueenjude]

This post is for Elriels AND Gwynriels: Stop trying to hand Lucien's plotlines to Azriel. Please and thank you.

[reverie-verse]

Azriel x Reader: The Bond of a Century

An old request that I decided to revamp

Request prompt: Can I request an Azriel x reader where the mating bond snaps for Azriel but not the reader? Kind of like how Feyra didn’t know Rhys was her mate till she was told.

My prompt: A bond forgotten for over a century and a half makes its way back to the forefront. All of it starts with Rhys asking for a favor.

This is a fluffy, steamy, angst-ish fic

I hope you enjoy!!!! My requests are open!!!

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This was the last thing you thought you would be doing for Rhys. Out of all the things, this-this is what he chose for you to do. Rhys had a sick twisted mind that put you in a situation you had no desire of being in or a part of. You mentally cursed at the high lord, hating him in the moment even though he was your dearest friend. Elain scoured the city for certain pots for her plants, and certain seeds for her garden. Azriel right by her side and you trailing behind them. All you wanted to do was to go back to your home near the docks. It was the first home you had when you first moved from Dawn to Velaris less than a century ago, but with some convincing Rhys and Feyre were able to get you to stay at the town house. It was only then did her sisters arrive, and at some point you were put to the task of keeping an eye on Elain with the occasional visit of Az. Honestly you wished you could train with Nesta, but Cassian was chosen for that task. You wouldn’t have minded living in the house of wind-“ I think I need to go to Day Court or maybe Spring,Oh perhaps we go to Dawn instead. They must have better pots.” Elain speaks more to Azriel than she does you. You were eyeing the various shops, and the people delighted to be around you, each grinning and waving at you. Another beautiful thing about Velaris you’d come to love. People were kind here.

Azriel smiled softly at her “ Of course, if that’s what you want” his voice was tender and sweet. You fought the urge to roll your eyes, turning your attention elsewhere. You hated being there dealing with this shit, but Rhys insisted you tag along, “It’s good for the soul. Get some fresh air” with that insane cat-like smirk. Ooo you shoot daggers into your mind, a deep chuckle echoing in the background.

“ Yes that’s what I want, thank you Az” Elain returned the gesture.

“ Alright then I’ll let Rhys and Feyre know-“ You say as you pinched a flower petal between your thumb and index finger. You looked away from it then back at them. The two watched you with curiosity, you let go of the petal. It was no simple task, an easy reminder of what you needed to do and a simple approval came from Rhys. A gentle poke in your mind causes you to shake your head.“-Let's get this over with” You take steps towards them placing your hands on their arms you effortlessly winnow the three of you to Dawn. The landing was gentle and less sickening, the three of you placed in a Market, one that you were familiar with.. Elain squealed with excitement as she rushed over to an area where she had seen fresh flowers, a few shops down could be seen a pottery shop, the two of you already trailing her.

“ Look at this beautiful bouquet! Y/N? Should we get this for the town house?” She gestures to the bouquet filled with many vibrant colors, various shapes and sizes. You were stumped, she normally doesn’t ask you these questions most of the time they were directed at Az.

“They look lovely Elain, I’m sure they’ll fit anywhere you put them..” You replied not really sure how to respond. Honestly you’ve never really thought about what flowers you liked or didn’t . It wasn’t something that was ever given to you, nor something you found and immediately fell in love with. You didn’t have anything against anyone who knew what they liked, you just-never had the experience of looking forward to your own set of plants. Even when you first attempted gardening most of your plants and flowers died, you simply didn’t have the skill or the eye for it..but that was okay, though on rare occasions it was something you wished you had..

Elain smiles awkwardly “ Well, maybe we can get it, it might brighten up the home. Make it seem more natural..comfortable” She pulls out her coins, handing it to the shopkeeper. The three of you move further heading over to the pottery shop that she explained earlier how she wanted to visit. Your eyes searched the area, checking for predators, anyone who might cause harm to the high lady’s sister, before entering the shop. You had other plans that you needed to attend to while the two looked around, it was in the midst of Elains discussion, mostly to Azriel about the various styles of pottery, that you planned to sneak off. It was only then did a voice capture your attention from behind you.

“ Y/N, I must admit I never pegged as you someone who might be interested in pottery” Thesan, high lord of Dawn, speaks out, the entire shop haunting their work to bow at his presence. He waved his hand dismissing them easily back to work. Azriel positions himself so that he stands near you with Elain behind him, she peers her head out, trying to see who it was that spoke so elegantly. A small smile graces your features at that familiar voice you knew so well as you shifted to face Thesan, who was already grinning. Azriel didn’t miss it, taking note of it.

“What if I was?” You retorted,

“ Then that would be a surprise”

“I hate to burst your bubble High Lord but I’m here on business not for pleasure” You replied, the two of you sharing a small laugh together. Azriel forced his expression into neutrality, Elains eyes sparkled with curiosity and intrigue. Thesan looks behind you for a moment, taking in the Shadowsinger and the woman next to him.

“ Ouch, that one hurt Y/N, I see you brought friends, Shadowsinger” Thesan greets civilly no hate present.

“ Thesan,” Azriel gives a simple head nod in his direction, there was no need for malice, Thesan had always been a great friend of Rhys’s and now apparently yours. Though a feeling crept inside his chest, this odd feeling takes root, Azriel does his best to shove it away, especially with Elain right next to him..

“ And you must be Elain, one of the sisters of High Lady Night.”

“ Yes I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you” Elain smiles with a blush that creeps along her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how to respond being that a high lord, whom she never met knew she existed. The surrealness of the situation becomes a reality, the more she realizes how well known her sister is, how well known both of her sisters are including herself. A delighted yet astonishing experience for her, something she wasn’t used to yet.

“ Same to you, i hope you don’t mind if I borrow Y/N for a moment or two, there’s somethings I’d like to discuss” Thesan offered but secretly it was a meeting that needed to take place. You were in fact here on business, something that Rhys specifically shared with you and no one else. Dawn used to be your home, but when you were moved to Velaris, you became the seg way for Dawn and Night. Your job was to be the emissary for both sides, keeping the courts relationship in even better shape. You missed your home dearly at times, and you missed Thesan whom you were extremely close too, and who you cared about, even with this being only for business there was some pleasure that came out of it.

“ No of course not, I’m sure she could use a break from us, right Azriel?” Elain looks up to him but his eyes were trained on you and Thesan. You were ready to join him without so much as another word, it struck a nerve in him, why? What could possibly be the topic of conversation between you two? Why do you only need to speak with him? Surely Rhys would’ve told him what this meeting was about? Why hadn’t you come to him for advice or as a second set of ears? Why was the meeting a secret?-“Azriel?”Elain calls out to him, you were looking at him suspiciously, your eyebrows furrowed, your eyes flickering across every part of his face and bodily language. Azriel adjusts himself, shielding off whatever thoughts or feelings he harbored in the moment. He blinks, his eyes drift back to Elain then back to you and Thesan “ Go ahead, we’ll be here in the shop if you need us, we leave in about two hours”

“ Alright then I will have my men escort the two of you back to my palace.” Thesan replied, You eased the questioning look off your face, you shift back towards Thesan, the two of you walking out of the shop, the conversation immediately flowed. He could see the smile on your face, and yet again the melodic sound of laughter that left your lips. The high lords' guards remained in place while Azriel and Elain both continued their shopping. However, that didn’t stop him from taking one last look out the door.

When the two hours were up, Azriel and Elain were guided securely to the Palace where he’d find you and Thesan walking along the hall. Thesan stopped in his tracks grabbing your arm, it forces you to halt in place, your body halfway facing him. His mouth moves but Azriel can’t hear what he’s saying, he lifts a hand to your face gently swiping at your cheek. He removes his hand, pulling you gently into a tight embrace. Azriel could see the way you held onto him tightly, as if you dared to let go. The two of you stayed in that position for a few moments until you both eventually pulled away. Why were you crying? Were you hurting? Were they happy tears? Did he say something to you? What was it? There were too many emotions to pinpoint, Azriel’s chest continued to tighten at the emotions he felt. You left Thesans' side offering him one last smile, but that smile fades, when you approach them.

“It’s time, are you ready?” You ask softly, your demeanor changed, a bit relaxed but a heavy weight stays on your shoulders. You roll them back, adjusting yourself. Azriel watches you with such careful eyes, you paid no mind, your thoughts elsewhere.

“ Yes-“ Elain starts but her gaze flickers back and forth between you both. For Elain it was rather odd to see the two of you interact, when she had met you, your relationship with Azriel was already thin, you were distant with him compared to everyone else. Elain assumed that your relationship had always been like that, but now she wasn’t so sure..

“ Are you alright?” Azriel asks you, his hand twitches slightly, part of him restrains himself, the other yearned to reach out for you. But you were quick to recover, offering him a reassuring smile.

“ Yeah I’m fine, let’s go.” You placed your hands on both of them, winnowing them back to the town house. There Nuala and Cerridwen greeted the three of you. Nuala took the pots out of Elains hands, Cerridwen took the flowers and placed them in another vase. Elain begins gushing about the journey to Dawn, how gorgeous it was..You sighed exhausted leaving the space quietly to head to your own room. Azriel was about to follow you when Elain called for his help in the kitchen. Azriel hesitated staring up at the staircase. Why couldn’t he just talk to you? He’s a Shadowsinger, a spymaster, and he can pry details out of anyone but you. All he can feel is your emotions-your emotions... Elain had pulled Azriel from his thoughts as she hugged a pot to herself.

“Az? Are you coming?” She says as she waits for him to follow her to the garden. Again he hesitates but he feels a stirring in his chest. Azriel lifts up a hand instinctively touching it, a sharp sensation could be felt beneath his chest. It couldn’t be? Could it? Azriel’s eyes widen, Elain takes a breath “ I’ll be outside Az when you’re ready-“ Azriel moves his feet faster than his mind could process, he was out of the town house door, his wings pushing him off the ground shooting him into the sky, he needing some time to think..

___

The moons at its highest peak, your curtains flowing with gentle breeze that filtered through your bedroom. The candles and lights burnt out signaling that you were asleep, that was until you heard a creak in the floorboard, and the atmosphere changed, a darker presence filled the space. You were lying on your stomach, your hands slipping beneath the pillow as you grip the handle of the blade you’ve hidden beneath it. You felt the figure stop just before your bed frame, you could hear them bend down towards your face. As they reached for you, you swiftly reached out a free hand grabbing them, you flipped them onto the bed, rolling over pinning them down with your blade tucked against their neck in the most vulnerable area.

“ It’s only me” He whispers, the lights in the room reaching a dim hue, illuminating the area.

“ Jeez Az, I could’ve killed you” You replied tiredly, you pulled back the blade placing it on the end table. Azriel’s eyes followed your movement above him, your hips and legs straddling him, your hair in an unruly nature, from slumber. The candles hue amidst the room, caresses your face, your bare legs, your skin making it appear warm to the touch. You had worn a tunic that wasn’t yours, it hugged loosely around your body frame. The tunic looked oddly familiar to Azriel but then again he wasn’t so sure. All he wanted to do was rip whoevers tunic that belonged to, off of your body and replace it with his.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you-” He apologizes,”-I have one question I’d like to ask you” Azriel whispers, as he watches your facial expression twitch into a sleepy confusion.

“This couldn’t wait till morning?” You sighed as your hand moved to rub the sleep from your face. You remove yourself from him, you slip off the bed but not before Azriel caught your wrist. He shifts himself so that he sits up lifting himself off the bed. He towers over you, the candle's glowing light touches his features in a way that it could come off intimidating, but there was a more intimate, soft, texture that made him appear more angelic.

“ No I’m afraid not.” He admits.

You nod your head” What’s your question?”

“ How long have you known about the bond?”Azriel’s voice low, as if to test the waters but enough to plunge himself. He needed answers and after speaking with Rhys, it was his right.

“ What?” Your face dropped, your skin becoming clammy as nervousness passes through you, sleepiness evades you.

“ You heard me, answer the question” his eyes switch between both of yours, searching and evaluating. He tried to pinpoint every emotion you felt, he tried to feel you through, the only thing stopping him was- you.

“ It's not that simple-” You shook your head, pulling your wrist out of his hold. You weren’t prepared for this, you weren’t ready to unravel all that you worked so hard to ignore.

“ It is that simple” Azriel continued to pry, he didn’t need the bond to notice how uncomfortable and painful this topic was for you-it was news to him, he wanted the truth..no lies no games only the truth

“ No, it’s not. It’s complicated-“ You looked away from him moving to the other side of the room. You couldn't find the words to explain this situation, your reasoning. What if what you told him set him off? What if this ruins everything between your friendships? The alliance that has been created? So many thoughts and questions, never enough answers…but for Azriel you did have an answer to his question..

“ Complicated enough for you to leave.” It was then that feeling in your chest, it builds a thick pressure. A heavyweight on your shoulders, the air almost sucked out your lungs. “ Is that what you told Rhys when you were packing your bags?” You couldn’t breathe, Azriel’s footsteps followed you till he was right behind you. You faintly feel the pulse of his surprise and his anger, as if it was your own, but it had been so long since you’d tapped into the bond. You had spent a century ignoring it, shielding it, and now, it was muscle memory..

“ Don’t make me do this..” You whispered out, a silent plea to move on, to let this go.

“ You knew, and yet you decided not to tell me” His voice held a deep frustration, a deep want and need. He wasn’t going to give up, he had a way with finding out the truth..

“ That’s-not what happened..” You were again stumped with words, torn between giving in or lying, torn between running away or staying..

“ No? Then what happened?” He continues to look down at you, you refuse to meet his gaze. Azriel doesn’t take no for an answer moving towards the front. He stands in front of you. His smell, his faint emotions from the bond slowly consuming you. It surrounds you, his shadows dance along the edges of the room, waiting, watching, whispering.

“ Az-” You warned him, it was another weak attempt to fight him off. But he continued to poke, to pull, to pry, to grasp at anything you’d give him. You were tired, exhausted, hiding your emotions, your thoughts, your protected heart and mind bound to collapse, all secrets were meant to escape..

“ I want the truth, Y/N-”. You took a deep breath, your nerves running a mile a minute. His own anxiousness was replaced with a demanding thirst for the truth. A truth that belonged to him too. You’ve kept this wonderful secret to yourself, he watched as his own family found mates that paired well with them. Watching as their life finds the pieces to the puzzle it was missing. Deep down he wanted that very same thing. He felt as though he may not deserve it but he craved it, to be loved unconditionally… “-You owe me that much”

You sighed, your heart shattering, you gave in, you really hadn’t planned too but the look in his eyes-, “..Before Amarantha began her reign, Rhys made an offer to Thesan to let me stay in Velaris, as an emissary between the courts. It was then that I found out that we were mates… It was then that the deal was made.“

“All these years and you kept this to yourself, why?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“ Because I knew you were in love with Mor. I wasn’t going to take that from you. But I did wait for you, I waited a long time. But when it became an achingly slow desperation, I gave up. I practiced silencing the bond, so I couldn’t feel the emotions you felt when you were around other-women..romantically and lustily I mean. Then Elain came around and it was the same process. I’m exhausted, Azriel. I can’t keep doing this”

“ You didn’t bother to try! You’re running back home because you never thought to ask how I might’ve felt!” His jaw tenses, his head slightly tilted to the side, his frustration grows, at this notion of forcing the information out of you, when you should’ve let it happen, when you should’ve told him..

“ I didn’t because I wanted you to come to your own conclusion. I wanted it to be as natural as possible but you were so invested in Mor and Elain and I’m not one to take you away from that. But I also miss the people I care about, I miss my old home-It’s time for me to go-” You protested.

“ What does Rhys think of this?” Azriel jaw twitches.

“ He was the one who encouraged me to speak with Thesan-“

“ Is that what the discussion was between the two of you?” He presses.

“ Yes but-“ You attempt to defend yourself.

“ Y/N, what exactly did you say to him?” Azriel wanted every detail, every version of this story, of his story, of his mates-his mate.

“ I didn’t- I didn’t say anything. I asked if I could return home, and he told me that I should stay here, that if I truly wanted to come home then he’d considered it.” Your heart leaps into your throat, you swallow it back, the feeling collecting.

“ His answer wasn’t even a Yes” Azriel’s scoffs shaking his head, his hands on his hips as he looks at the floor and then away at the window.

“ Yes- but it’s my decision-“ You looked up at him, watching his movements carefully.

“ No it’s not, you’re not going back there.” He challenged, his eyes find their way back to yours.

“ You can’t decide that.” You tell him, the two of you hurting by the weight of your decision. Azriel’s own heart squeezes painfully, at how easy it was for you to say those words to him. You were his, he wasn’t going to let you just walk away, not without fighting for you.

“ Why not? You’d already decided to keep this to yourself regardless of how I felt” He takes a step forward his arms falling back down to his side.

“ Azriel please listen to me-“ You tried to reason, you tried to find a way to break through, he wasn’t thinking straight, you weren’t thinking straight, neither one of you.

“ No you listen, all those years, all those centuries, you were my friend, and you were someone who loved me. Loved me enough to sacrifice what you felt so I could find happiness. In the depths of my mind I have fought and searched for you without realizing that you were here in front of me..I was too blind to see it. ” His hands flew to your face, your jaw, cupping it, his thumbs grazing your cheekbones. Your hands follow suit as your fingers grip his wrists. His shadows remove themselves from the dark corners of your room, shooting out to tangle around your wrists, not to pull your hands away but to hold you there in place. “ Please don’t run from me” He whispers, his forehead dipping down to rest on yours. His hands slide from your cheeks to the sides of your neck.

“ Az-I can’t stay” You replied quietly, your hands pulling at his wrists weakly at his. You both knew that you could take him down easily, but at this moment in time the two of you were struggling. The tension grew thick in the air. A sort of sharp feeling intensifies, the faded familiarity that was the bond, solidifies. You thought that you had successfully mastered the art of blocking the bond but no. Azriel must’ve truly accepted it, a different feeling takes over, Azriel hums at the feeling. You sucked in a breath.

“ You can’t leave without knowing I’ve accepted the bond” His nose brushes against yours. You shook your head once more, completely pushed Azriel away. Your hands fly to your head, your fingers tangling in your hairs. You wanted nothing more than to curl into yourself, this was too surreal, too overwhelming. You’d spent so long, alone, and working, on occasions waiting. Now you were uncertain, even more than you had been hours ago. Azriel could feel your indecisiveness, he just needed to bring you back to him.

Azriel followed you, he pulled your hands from your hair, one of them he placed on his chest, his heart beating beneath it, you couldn’t look at him. But you could feel the gentleness, the love that flowed through him into you. “ My heart, my soul belongs to you” he tries again. You could feel your body sag at the feeling of comfort. It was so intense and welcoming. You wanted to wrap yourself in it-but you fought it, you were so used to the fighting, the restraint, the self control. “Let go” His voice reaches into the depths of your mind, into your soul, calling out to you.

You placed your forehead on his chest, your hand leaving the area above his heart. Azriel’s wings moved to surround you, his shadows moved to get to you, tangling themselves in your hair, caressing your face and hands. They speak to you wishing you nothing but love and happiness. They bring you comfort, your eyes fluttering shut.

“ Y/N” Azriel calls out. You could feel his hands cupping your face once more tilting it upwards, his breath light. You could feel how close he was, Azriel was right there, all he needed to do-Az’s lips crashed down onto yours, so soft, and yet his kiss held all his desperation, his passion. He couldn’t hold back, not with you, not when he loved you so. You weren’t surprised, in fact you hadn’t realized how much you yearned for his touch, his kiss. Azriel turns his head to the side deepening the kiss, a quiet moan slips out. By the cauldron Azriel loved to hear that sound, he wanted to hear it again, and again, and again. For as long as he lived and breathed.

You were putty in his hands, the feeling of his touch, his thoughts, his emotions was putting you in overdrive. Your mind couldn’t comprehend nor catch up to the pace in which things were happening. Azriel lets go of your lips for a brief moment, allowing you a chance to breathe, a whimper and the need for air also escapes your lips. Azriel had to fight the urge to keep himself from taking you right then and there. You had the urge to let him do it, you placed your hands on his chest pushing him back a step. You couldn’t think with him in your space, Azriel wasn’t going to budge, but with the way you were so caught up and caught off guard, he let you take a second.

“Okay-“ You breathed out. Azriel’s eyes light up, a smile threatens to break out. “ I-um-“ You cleared your throat,”Uh-I-I accept the bond..” you whispered the last part. Azriel’s heart gave a squeeze of joy, his chest filled with lightness, with happiness and relief. All he had ever hoped for had finally come to fruition. A twinkle of mischief sparks in his eyes, a smirk finds its way onto his beautiful features.

“ What was that?” He asks, yet you squint your eyes at him, you know he heard, he knows he heard you, but he wanted you to say it again. “-I didn’t quite hear you” You bit the inside of your cheek still squinting at him. You sighed, your body began to relax, your facial expressions changing to that of a sheepishness. You were struggling to admit it, Azriel waited for you patiently.

“ I-“

“ Yes?”

“ Az” You raised your eyebrows at him, as if to say I’m trying here.

“ I’m sorry, please go on.” He encourages you.

You sighed as you tried again this time “ I accept the bond-” You are much more confident and certain. “I’ve loved you since I’ve known you. You were right, my heart and soul belongs to you-“Azriel couldn’t contain himself much longer as took you into his arms and spun you around. A victorious grin graced both of your features, and for once the weight of the world didn’t feel so heavy in your chests. You gave a light hearted giggle, your heart swooning. Azriel places you back on the ground. You smiled brightly, the twinkle reaching your eyes. “This is happening?” You asked out loud, you searched for clarification.

“ Yeah it is” Azriel let go grabbing your hand pulling you towards the window. You tilted your head to the side, a sweet smile on your lips, a playful yet teasing expression stretches onto Azriel’s face. “Do you trust me?” his hand extends outward.

“ Yes.” You lift your hand to place it into his, this time a new height sense fills both your bodies. The touch feels like a loving hum on your skin. Your minds, your souls, finally resting after all the searching that it had done. You place your hand in his, he guides you out of the window onto the terrace of the town house. You followed him blindly, willingly. Azriel stood taller in the moonlight, and the stars above shining, his shadows nowhere to be found, it was just him. “ Az wait- Elain-“

“She knows, and I’m sure she will be upset with me, but she has Lucien..She doesn’t need me.” He nods. You watch him closely, as you slowly lift a hand to caress his cheek, the touch sweet and warming. Azriel instinctively leans into your touch, turning his head slightly to kiss the palm of your hand.

“ I’m sorry” You whispered, you realized that you may have ruined a friendship for him, a little bit more than a friendship..

“ No I’m sorry” he replies as he takes you back into his arms, the sounds of the city's music playing amongst the trees, the flowers, the plants, the night sky seeming more inviting, more alive. All Azriel knew was in this moment in time he finally understood the accept of the bond, the waiting, the calling, you had always been there waiting for him, you gave him time, space, anything he needed to figure himself out..All those times he spent with other women- then it dawned on him, had you done the same? You chuckled upon feeling that jealous emotion. “ Who’s tunic are you wearing?”

“ Az, it’s yours”

“ What-“ You peel yourself out of his arms.

“ This tunic you let me borrow on a mission we had, remember? Court of nightmares? I was stuck in a brothel, I ended up fighting my way out, my clothes were completely shredded?” You offered bits and pieces of the memory, Azriel’s takes a moment to recollect and it hits him.

“ Yes I remember, you ate a bowl of soup that night at one of the hostels. You hated it,” He chuckled as he remembered the disgusted look on your face. You laughed alongside him. You moved to head back towards your room but Azriel was quick to catch your hand.

”Where are you going?”

“Um-to make you something, we still have to seal the bond.”

“ Not here”

“ Then where?” Azriel grins as he throws one of your arms around his neck, one catches your back the other catches your knees.

“ Somewhere private, where I can have you all to myself, no distractions, just you and me” He whispers to you, his face dipping closer to yours, you sucked in a small breath, the blood beneath your skin singing, practically humming. His arms tightened their hold on you pressing you as flush to him as possible. Azriel looks away and upwards towards the night sky, his wings strong as they help push the two of you off the ground. Excitement filled the air, the night, seemed sweeter, less stuffy, inviting. You guessed that Thesan was right for making you stay here, to reconsider, you were thankful that he pointed you back in the direction of your mate. Azriel was happy that his brother fought for his love, fought for him to find happiness. It was more than just two courts keeping a civil peace, it was about two souls that needed to find each other, even if it takes a century.

[yaralulu]

I’ve seen a few people confused on if Feyre really manipulated Tamlin and Lucien into distrusting each other by alluding to some kind of affair between her and Lucien so let’s talk about it.

It’s important to note that Tamlin and Lucien’s relationship was already rocky at this point so it wasn’t that hard for Feyre to cause tension and distrust between them.But still she caused some irreparable damage to their friendship that wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for her manipulations.

Feyre was intentionally being more handsy and close to Lucien because she wanted to stir up distrust and suspicion not just between Tamlin and Lucien,but amongst the Spring Court.By alluding to an affair between the High Lord’s emissary and his consort,the very foundations of the court started to crack.Also Tamlin without Lucien by his side is just a recipe for disaster and Feyre knew that.

Feyre wanted other people to notice her and Lucien being close.She knew their newfound coziness would be reported back to Tamlin,planting seeds of doubt in his mind.

It was my first time on a horse in months, and I was stiff enough that I could barely move as the party dismounted. I gave Lucien a subtle, pleading look, and he barely hid his smirk as he sauntered over to me.Our dispersing party watched as he braced my waist in his broad hands and easily hefted me off the horse, none more closely than lanthe.

I'd rolled onto Lucien's bedroll at some point, any schemes indeed second to my most pressing demand—warmth. But I had no doubt Jurian would tuck away the information to throw in Tamlin's face when we returned: we'd shared a tent, and had been very cozy upon awakening.

But it was Jurian right on their heels, as if he'd been divulging the details of his surveying who smiled at the sight of us, knee to knee and nearly nose to nose."Careful, Lucien," the warrior sneered. "You see what happens to males who touch the HighLord's belongings."

So even when Tamlin wasn’t around Feyre was continuing this act because she wanted everyone to start thinking something was happening between her and Lucien.And her efforts were not in vain.Her plan worked..a little too well even.

"You don't act that way with Feyre." A silk-wrapped threat. "You're mistaken.” "Am I?" Twigs and leaves crunched, as if she was circling him. "You put your hands all over her." I had done my job too well, provoked her jealousy too much with every instance I'd found ways to get Lucien to touch me in her presence, in Tamlin's presence.

Then we have the infamous nightmare scene.The whole thing was a set up so that Tamlin would catch his bestfriend and Feyre in a compromising position after he’d probably already heard rumors about them.She wanted Tamlin to start questioning Lucien and his intentions.

I had no doubt Tamlin was now running through every look and conversation since then. Every time Lucien had intervened on my behalf, both Under the Mountain and afterward. Weighing how much that new mating bond with Elain held sway over his friend.

By planting doubt and suspicion in Tamlin’s mind,Feyre’s schemes worked and Tamlin and Lucien’s friendship suffered.

Tamlin and Lucien, it seemed, had spoken before the meal, but the latter made a point to keep a healthy distance from me. To not look at or speak to me, as if still needing to convince Tamlin of our innocence.

I hauled myself into the canvas tent when the fire was dying out, the space barely big enough for Lucien and me to sleep shoulder to shoulder. "Maybe I should sleep out there." I rolled my eyes. "Please."A wary, considering glance as he knelt and removed his boots. "You know Tamlin can be ...sensitive about things."

So yeah everything Feyre did was intentional and with purpose.She used Lucien to make Tamlin jealous therefore condemning their friendship.She roped him into her schemes which ended up having detrimental effects not just on his relationship with Tamlin but on his entire reputation in Spring.And sure Tamlin and Lucien’s friendship was already not the greatest but Feyre made things exponentially so much worse.

[acourtofthought]

ohhhhh i love this!! “Elain is meant to be shared with their entire world.” its so obvious to me that elain doesn’t belong in the night court, and i can see why some people don’t agree saying she wouldn’t leave her sisters behind because honestly it’s a sad thought, but that literally happens all the time in real life, it would not be a crazy plot twist that’s unimaginable????

the thought of my younger brother moving away makes me a little emotional, but if it was something he truly wanted and i know would help him grow, i would be sooo happy for him!! even if it made me a little sad haha and i’m 1000% certain that’s exactly what would happen if elain left the night court as well like it’ll probs be a little emotional but so realistic🌸✨

i feel like ppl might not like idea of her leaving bc it’s something that is very real and it’s sad to see your sibling go and they are thinking of their own siblings leaving (well aside from a certain ship obviously…..) but i think seeing elain grow and go out into the world will be such a beautiful story!!! that i think will help so many! dunno if this made sense but 💕💕

Thank you!!! Really, I hate the takes where Elain's entire arc will consist of her having only the friends she met while living in Feyre's house and ending up with the only single male she's met since being turned outside her mate and remaining in court that is pretty opposite of everything we know of her character. And of course we selfishly want our loved ones to be close to us, just like I imagine Feyre wants her sisters close to her so she can keep an eye on them and ensure their happiness but that doesn't mean it's what is best for them. Elain's personality (as she's been described by the author and in the books) is kind and capable of showing love in a way that neither Feyre or Nesta were able to. She's sunshine and light, generous and able to convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles yet some really think she's best suited to sneaking around in the shadows? Spying and lying and staying in court known for it's cruelty? I personally think she shines too brightly for the NC, that she is meant for more, where she has the opportunity to bring about change for the many (not just the residents of Velaris).

[sarcasmsweetie]

Insecurities

A requested bonus scene for "A Better Life"! And my first request! I had a blast with this, and wound up doing a whole cannonball into insecurities instead of just dipping a toe in. Woops...

Request: would you mind writing about something in the a better life series where the reader is a little insecure and az reassures her?

Word count: 3.4k

Azriel x Archeron Sister

Masterlist

Taglist: On hold until the shadowban is lifted (as no one gets notified when I post with the ban still in place)

When Mor wants something, Mor gets it. Unfortunately, what she wants is to celebrate my visit back in Velaris with a night out at Rita’s. This is my first time back since Nyx was born, so I was hoping for a quieter evening in with everyone. “Quiet,” however, is not a word in Mor’s vocabulary. As Feyre and Rhys stayed home with their son, they promised me they’d spend all day tomorrow with me to make up for their absence tonight.

While I thought I wanted the quiet night, Rita’s proved to be fun as well. Mor hadn’t dragged me onto the dance floor just yet, so I enjoyed sitting in the booth beside Nesta, chatting with her and Cassian about anything and everything. Especially Nesta’s latest book recommendations.

“When you go home, I’ll pack up a few things for you to take back. Don’t think I didn’t notice how bare your shelves were when Cassian and I visited last month.”

“Ah, so what you’re saying is you’re going to send back a miniature library of romance novels, with a spice level no lower than 4 out of 5. Shall I also prepare a journal for my reviews so we can talk in length next time we see each other?” Cassian laughed, thinking I was joking, but Nesta’s eyes brightened in excitement.

“Not just reviews, but I want stream of consciousness. I can’t be there by your side to gauge your reactions, so I need to know everything about what you like and what you don’t so I can strengthen the next haul, ensure every book is to your liking.”

“Then for this first round, throw in a few mystery novels as well if you have them.” She raised an eyebrow and I shrugged. “I like to see if I can figure out the answer before it’s revealed.” Nesta looked to be deep in thought, mentally cataloguing everything she’s read and what could fit the “mystery” criteria.

Grabbing my drink, I noticed Azriel watching with mild interest in our conversation. Varian and Amren were speaking quietly to one another on one side, while Mor tried to convince Elain to try her tequila cocktail on his other.

“I’ve got a few mystery novels I can add to the collection. Maybe in your journal, you can note when you think you’ve figured it out and we can compare who solved it quicker.” I raised my glass to him, and he raised his beer in response.

“While I don’t like my odds, Spymaster, I’ll accept this challenge.” We both smiled as we finished the last of our drinks. Taking a glance around the table, I noticed everyone else’s glasses were low. As Elain and I each were on the end of the rounded booth and she was still trying to decline Mor’s invitation to try her incredibly strong drink, I took the initiative to get everyone’s refills. “I’ll go grab us another round.” Amren smiled as she finished the last of her wine as Azriel tried to stand to help. “You’re wedged in, Az. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back in a minute.” He nodded, though with a slight hesitation, as he moved to settle back into his seat.

I moved around some of the stray dancers on the edge of the dancefloor to get to the bar, thankful there was a space opening up at the bar as I approached. Stepping in quickly before anyone else could, I waved down the closest bartender and requested everyone’s drinks. As the bartender began to make everything, I organized my coin purse to pay for the drinks and leave a hefty tip. I took a few minutes to look around my surroundings, smiling softly at the dancing couples and the groups of people laughing around the bar. A flash of blonde caught my eye, and I watched as Mor made her way to the center of the floor, dancing briefly with everyone she moved past. My smile grew at the image, though my eyes glanced back to our table. Elain was seated bit closer to Az, presumably so she wouldn’t have to move again when Mor came back from dancing. My smile dropped a bit, though I knew things weren’t like they used to be between them. She was writing with Lucien, and I knew Azriel was trying to get to know me better. But I watched the easy way they spoke to one another, the way they engaged so effortlessly. I watched as he chuckled over something she said, and I felt something tighten in my chest. It was easy to guess they were commenting on Mor as they were both watching her dance, a simple and safe topic, but that didn’t wipe away the sting of jealousy I had watching them together.

“Do you think the Shadowsinger will ever make a move on that female?” I tore my gaze from the table to the couple at the bar beside me.

“Who knows? We never see him with anyone, though it would be a shame if he lets this one slip away. They look so pretty together, don’t they? Opposites attract, and all that.”

They provided a bit more commentary to one another about my sister and my mate, suggesting ideas of their relationship simply being more private than others of the Inner Circle, before they collected their drinks and moved somewhere else. I didn’t watch where they went as my gaze fell back on the two in question.

They did look quite attractive. Elain was always light and petite, which I could agree paired well with his darker and larger build. Having always been the tallest of the sisters, I was always closer to the men’s height of our village, never really knowing what it was like to look up to someone or struggle to meet their eye. I also packed on a bit of muscle since moving to Winter due to maintaining the cabin and Fenrir’s stable all on my own. Feyre and Nesta had a bit of muscle themselves, but I always believed they had the build of dancers whereas mine feels… thicker than what they have. Elain, on the other hand, was as feminine as one could be, focusing primarily on “traditional” tasks a female would take on and not anything that could build a strength that could threaten the strength of the male on her arm.

My brain fell down the rabbit hole of thinking back to every encounter I’ve witnessed of the two of them, remembering how there’s always been an easy connection there. They never had to argue in order to be seen, to be on the same side. They never had to fight in order to keep the other’s attention. One simply exists and the other is in their orbit. If Nesta never said anything about the mating bond, would they still be together? Or would he have realized on his own what he had done and stepped away, chose me?

I was brought out of my musings by a bump to my back. Turning, I noticed the bartender sliding a tray holding all of our drinks towards me. I apologized for zoning out, handing over the payment and tip, and headed back to the table. Along the way, Mor caught up with me, sliding an arm over my shoulders while grabbing her drink for herself. She helped me pass out everyone’s drinks before saying she’ll take the tray back to the bar for me.

“You don’t have to trouble yourself with that, Mor! I’ve got it.” She smirked at me.

“Trust me when I say that this is no trouble. In fact, you’re doing me the favor of giving me an excuse to chat up the cute new bartender Rita brought on.” She winked as she sauntered off, and most of the table chuckled.

I tried to at least remain aware to the conversations around me as I nursed my drink, but I kept falling back into the thoughts of not belonging here, of not being enough. Nesta nudged me, brows slightly furrowed, but I tried to shake her concerns away with a smile. “Just tired, is all. Not used to nights out like this.” Nesta didn’t look convinced, but Elain nodded along like she understood.

“I normally don’t come out, either. What would you be doing now if you were still in Winter?” While Elain has been getting better at asking questions since our confrontation last time I was in Velaris, I noticed she never called Winter my home – just referenced it as a place I was currently staying at.

“I’m attempting to knit socks.” I chuckled to myself as I looked back down to my drink. “Right now, I’d be snuggled up on the sofa in front of a large fire, trying to figure out why I just can’t get socks right. Something about the way they curve at the heel is apparently baffling to me.” I shrugged as I thought about what else my nights would entail. “Tomorrow would have been a brunch day with Viv, so when I inevitably get fed up with the knitting, I’d move to the kitchen and bake something for those at the manor. There is a common fondness for ginger biscuits, so I’ve been toying around with some of those flavors. But now that I’m building up my own library, I imagine more reading in my future.” I glanced back up at Elain and she had a small smile on her face, though the same could not be said for everyone else at the table.

Before letting any possible looks of pity settle in my skin at my isolation, I swallowed back the rest of my drink. “And I believe this is where I’ll call it a night. Tell Mor I said good night and thank her for inviting me out, would you?” I kissed Nesta’s cheek in goodbye, squeezing Cassian’s extended hand at the same time, then nodded at Amren and Varian (genuinely shocked they were still here).

Elain stood to hug me goodbye, asking if I could join her in the gardens tomorrow. I agreed with a smile, mentally sorting through a possible schedule with Rhys and Feyre that would allow me time to break away, and we both watched Azriel stand from the booth before Elain could slide back in. “I’ll walk you back.” I was fully prepared to turn down the offer, content to wallow in my own self-pity, but the stern look in his gaze made it clear he wouldn’t accept any arguments. Biting back a sigh, I nodded and followed him out. As we neared the exit, my eye caught the couple from the bar, both of whom looked shocked he was leaving with someone other than Elain as they moved their gaze between myself and my sister, whispering to one another as they watched. Crossing my arms over my chest, I felt myself shrink a bit under their judgments, clearly not impressed with Azriel’s choice of company.

Once we were out the door, I only felt one pair of eyes on me instead of dozens. I kept my gaze forward, not wanting to look at the source of my anxiety. “Thank you for the offer, Azriel, but I can walk back on my own. I don’t want to take you away from your evening.” From my sister.

“Like you, nights out aren’t really my thing. I hope you don’t mind me tagging along in your escape.” Ah, so I’m just an excuse to leave as well. “And while I know you’re still here for a week, I was hoping you wouldn’t be opposed to me stealing you tonight for a bit longer? Walk around the city, just us?” Startled, I glanced up at him to find his gaze intense and locked on my own. “Please?” Doing the one thing I didn’t want to do, I stared into his hazel eyes and found myself agreeing without thinking. The smile he offered in response was so bright, I had to look away.

“Lead the way.” We were quiet as we walked, and I took the time to observe my surroundings. When I lived here, I never came out at night, which I’m learning was quite the shame as it truly is beautiful. Not just the sky, but the people became livelier at this time, all enjoying an evening under a clear, bright night. The moon lit up everything around us, and it’s like the buildings came alive as well under the moon beams. He walked me to a bridge over the Sidra, and I found myself in awe at the clear water reflecting the sky, as if the stars of Night lived in the water as well as the sky. I contemplated reaching out to see if I could actually scoop a star from the water, but decided to save that possible embarrassment for another day.

“This is my favorite place to go when I have something weighing on my mind.” I glanced at him, wondering what he was worried about. Was I so lost in my head that I didn’t even notice he was upset as well? He was leaning against the railing, arms crossed in front of him. His head was facing forwards, but his eyes were focused on me at his side. I felt myself slipping back into old roles, preparing to be a mediator for a possible argument he’s in with someone or soundboard for frustrations in trying to solve a problem. I didn’t know the tells of the Spymaster to know which role he needed of me now, but I’m pretty certain that I have experienced next to every possibility with three younger sisters always needing something.

“Are you alright? Do you want to talk about what’s weighing on you?” He turned himself to face me fully, though his features didn’t change to help me pinpoint what I could do to help.

“I was about to ask you the same questions. You’ve been quiet, in your head. And it’s more than just being tired. I thought maybe a place that helps me sort things out could do the same for you.” I blinked at him, trying to wrap my head around the abrupt change.

“Are you sure?” He raised an eyebrow. “It’s just… I do the listening, I don’t do the talking.” He eased his elbow onto the railing, relaxing into the position as if he was beginning to settle down for a long conversation.

“I get the sense that maybe it’s time for you to do some talking.” His eyes shifted, and he glanced down. “If you want to talk to someone else, that’s fine. I suppose I did just assume you’d open up to me…” I bit my lip, unsure of what to do.

Instead of talking, I moved closer to where he was and mirrored his previous position that allowed me to look over the Sidra instead of looking directly at him.

“I think that’s part of the issue.” I could practically feel his gaze on me, which made me focus more on how the skyline and water blended seamlessly into one another. “I don’t know how to open up to you.” I swallow, wondering if I should say what’s on my mind. “I suppose the only way to open up is to just do it, so thank the gods I have a few drinks in me to keep pushing me forward, but…”

I take a deep breath, closing my eyes only to envision him and Elain next to each other in the booth. Next to each other on the love seat. Next to each other at the dining table. “I wonder what you would have done if Nesta never said anything.” With my eyes still closed, I didn’t see him go still, but I could feel his stillness all the same. Something in the air shifted, and I let my shoulders droop. “It was so easy for you and Elain to be together. You brought her out of her shell, and it was clear to anyone with eyes that she lightened something inside of you as well. It’s why I never said anything when I still lived here. I couldn’t possibly be the selfish one, inserting myself into your narrative because I thought I should be there with no regard to what you and Elain wanted. It wasn’t just me involved in all of this. You cared for her, you chose her. And I wonder if Nesta never said anything, would you still be by her side because it’s so effortless?”

My words echoed around in my head as I continued to see him and Elain together behind closed lids, continued to compare myself to my younger sister in ways I never did before this bond snapped in place. He remained silent, and that tightness in my chest grew stronger the longer he kept quiet. I opened my eyes, vision blurry with tears wanting to spill, and decided it was time to go.

“Thank you for showing me this place, but I should head back – “

“I choose you.” I froze, back to him, when he finally spoke up. “I choose you as I should have from the very beginning. But even if Nesta never said anything, I know I would have still chosen you. You said it seems effortless and easy between Elain and I. In some regard, I suppose that’s true. But that’s because no decisions were ever needed between us. Nothing was ever at stake because we were never supposed to be together. I will continue to grovel for all of our days for the pain that I’ve caused you, but I know now what I should have known then, and that is that I don’t want effortless.” My brows furrowed as I turned to him, and he shook his head. “That’s not what I mean.” I watched him for a moment as he tried to form the words he’s struggling with.

He began pacing, alternating between rubbing his face and pulling at his hair as he tried to explain himself. “I want to be challenged. I don’t want you blindly agreeing with everything I’m saying, but questioning what I say, having different opinions on what I think so that we can have a deeper connection, a deeper understanding of each other. I want someone who asks questions when I’m talking about my day, disagrees with my theories of books, someone who calls me out on my bullshit. I don’t want the ‘easy and effortless’ life you claim Elain and I could have had because that was so… empty. We talked about the most mundane things because we didn’t know what else to talk about.” He turned and looked at me, eyes softening. “I want to read by your side in front of a large fire while you succeed in knitting your first sock. I want to join you in teasing Cassian when we tell him that Fenrir is the superior version of himself. I want to hold you in my arms when we can’t sleep as I take you flying and you tell me about recipes you’re trying out and how they’re different from when you made it in the human lands.” He gave up on pacing to move in front of me, grabbing my hands and holding tight. “I want you to be the one I go to when I’m happy, sad, furious with my brothers and their stupidity, when I’m exasperated with my brothers and their stupidity…” He gently raised a hand to wipe away the tears from my face. “I’ve chosen you, and I’m never going back on that. And I will be here when you’re ready to choose me, too.”

His words bounced around my head as if that would make it easier for me to process what he said. He remained silent, thumb continuing to wipe tears as they fell, eyes moving over my face as if committing this snot-filled moment to memory.

I choose you.

The hand that still encased in his tightened its grip slightly. “I choose dinner.” His brows furrowed and I fought back a smile. “With you. One of these nights while I’m still in town. Maybe we can talk about some of these books and theories you have.”

“It’s a date.”

[bookofmirth]

When people say Elain is an introvert (and it’s why she’s well suited for Azriel) and is currently thriving/happy…it makes me laugh a little and it’s kind of annoying. Compare ACOTAR & ACOMAF Elain to ACOWAR - ACOSF Elain and there is a massive difference. She is traumatized. In the beginning, Elain is described as laughing, talking, interacting and dancing with multiple people at parties. She personally greets them. She can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles. In the human lands she was happy and the farthest thing from introverted. After being turned by the Cauldron, she becomes quiet. She has unresolved trauma. I think in SF, it’s stated that Elain is overwhelmed by crowds and she didn’t use to be that way; she loved balls and parties. That joy was taken away from her. Elain in the Night Court seems out of place. Shippers argue we’re being “anti-feminist” (or that we hate her) when we say Elain shouldn’t be in the NC (or with Azriel) even though she has became friends with the wraith twins and is making a home there for herself. Elain doesn’t seem like herself and as if she’s not happy. How can someone read SF and conclude that she’s fine and is meant to be in a court that “sucks the life from her.” Also adding, shippers say we really don’t care about Elain because we say she should choose who/what she wants and when she chooses to kiss Azriel we don’t agree with it. Well, we don’t know if she really wants him, because it wasn’t in her pov. She wanted to kiss him, yes, but is it only lust or is there romantic feelings? For Az, I only picked up on jealousy and lust.

Honestly some people learned about feminism from wikipedia and it shows. That's a rich criticism coming from a fandom who can't extend that same grace to other female characters, though. Just saying. Everyone is a feminist when it comes to Elain, but Mor? Nesta? Feyre? They forgot how to read.

Elain in acowar-acosf is a shell of who she used to be. in acosf it's described a couple of times that she is starting to seem more like her old self, but that old self goes away so quickly. She's being sly about something, we just don't know what. She has zero relationship with Nesta, whom she was closest with before. She's trying to help the IC when trouble comes, but gets shut down. She's not friends with anyone in the IC, which is weird to me considering how much time she spends with them. Something isn't clicking in the Night Court!

In fact, sjm said in an interview (in the back of the paperback of acofas, I think?) that Elain has been having nightmares about vines choking her. We haven't read about those in canon yet, so where are they? I assume she's still having them because we haven't had her story yet. We haven't even had a chapter that tells us her thoughts yet, like you mentioned.

I've never seen anyone argue that Elain shouldn't have tried to kiss Az - not saying it's never happened, I just can't speak on it. Personally, I've even said that I don't really care if she was hurting Lucien's feelings by doing so. Be messy, do what you want, follow your heart or vagina or whatever Elain, do it. But like you said, we don't know how she actually feels. There's nothing wrong with her (or Az's) sexual desires, no one has ever said that that in itself is a problem. It's the utter lack of romantic feelings that is putting us off, when paired with the idea that supposedly, they are in love? I can accept that they are sexually attracted to one another, but chafe at the idea of them being so in love when Az couldn't think of a single positive thing to say/think about her beyond that physical attraction.

[wolfnesta]

Hey friend! Can I pick your brain a bit? I’ve heard many people say how much they love that Nesta and Amren made up. But, I honestly hate it. Nesta shouldn’t have bowed down to Amren. She didn’t deserve it.

Both women were in the wrong. Nesta for her behavior. I love her. But, she did do wrong in certain things, and Amren for wanting to use Nesta as a weapon. As well as wanting to hide her powers from her. Which could’ve ended way worse than it did. I just feel like Amren gets a “bitch pass” because she’s Inner Circle, and old. What are your thoughts?

My dear friend of course you can ❤️ I had to think a little bit to make my thoughts cohesive because I’m so scatter brained I’m liable to babbling which is not good. First off that kneeling scene was AWFUL. Cant think about it without feeling second hand embarrassment for our girl Nesta 😒 so strange and out of place too. I know Nesta is not my character to say this but I can’t help but feel like it was super ooc of her. Like since when would that thought even cross Nesta�� pillar of steel, queen without a throne— Archerons mind?

I totally agree about that ‘pass’ with her little circle of friends on being a rude ass. I feel like a reason Nesta and Amren meshed well is because they seem to share that same I-don’t-give-a-fuck-I’ll-say-what-I-want-bitchy attitude but yet it’s only Nesta that’s the problem. I mean considering Nesta said mean things to Feyre in book one what Amren told Nesta— ‘you’ve became a waste of life’— tells me both characters can say some pretty hurtful things which is wrong of both as you said 😊 the problem is that it’s Nesta only that regrets it. Don’t really feel like Amren does. The closets we get to a reprimand for her is this

"Amren," Rhys said, the word laced with reprimand and warning.

Amen didn't so much as blink in remorse, but Varian frowned at her.

"What?" she snapped. The Prince of Adriata gave her an exasperated smile. "Haven't we talked about this? About ... being nice?"

ancient fae you guys. It’s just mind blowing to make two female characters befriend each other yet have only one be punished left and right for sharing the same trait. And that pales when you consider Nesta’s biggest flaw is using words to hurt people but she never manipulates or does shit behind others backs much less her friends.

Which brings me to the topic of their friendship. I didn’t have a problem with it until after Amren’s behavior towards Nesta during/after the intervention. If Nesta has said things to people in the past Amren telling her she’s become a waste of life although was wrong I can forgive— if Nesta can dish it she can handle it right? but the thing is Amren (who was friends with Nesta literally a few weeks right before) suggests throwing her into the Hewn city dungeon. The reason again? For using Rhys spare change to drink away her depression. Real good friend right there. Not only that but what does she have to say to Nesta when she finds out about keeping her powers from her

“I suppose that loud mouth bastard said more than was necessary”

Is she trying to say she would’ve rathered Nesta never found out? Hm gee I wonder why. Don’t even get me started on

Cassian glowered at Amren. “It’s not right to wield Elain as a threat to manipulate Nesta into scrying”

“There are harsher ways to convince Nesta, boy”

Word for word Amren admits to manipulating Nesta. Even suggests they could do worse 🤮🤮 just atrocious.

Nesta needed to heal and needed to work on her flaws but she didn’t deserve the punishment arc she got not when there’s characters like Amren in the same series. In conclusion my dear friend I agree with you 😊 maybe Amren deserved an apology but Nesta deserved one a billion times more.

[mauannacreates]

Flufftober: Feburary.

I'm doing Feburary's Flufftober by @flufftober.

As of who I wanted to do the flufftober on, I was thinking about it for a while, when I decided that I wanted to do it with Elaine and Tynan this time around. And honestly, I wanted to write a short story on them for a while, so why not.

For the art I did Elaine dancing while Tynan is watching her dance. I did it a bit differently than usual. First drawing and coloring the picture in, and then I used Krita to color it on top.

So I hope you enjoy the art and the story.

___

Sitting on the desk, Tynan eyes wants to close on him. He looks tries to look around, wait for Elaine to come back. It has been an hour since she has gone. The heaviness of his tired eyes starts to close... When a door slams open.

Tynan eyes shoots open, as his wings flaps a few times. He looks up and see the gray cat with pink hair reaching just above her shoulders. And her white streak from her hair isn’t there. How unusual.

“Elaine! What took you so long?” he asks, the hoodie going half way through his sight. He adjusts it.

She is laughing. “Tynan. You haven’t gotten ready?”

“Ready...? Ready for what?”

“Snappi invited us to a party, remember?”

And it hit him, a party. With lots of people. he remembered that conversation. The green crocodile came to their house a few weeks before.

“Hey hey! Elaine, Tynan, we’re holding a party next week. Feburary 14th, Valentines day! Do you guys want to come?”

“Oh really? Hell yeah, I want to come!” She then turned to Tynan, “Did you want to come Tynan...? I know you don’t like these sort of things, I --”

“Yeah, I can come.” he gave the most convincing smile he can manage.

He thought at the time, that it wouldn’t be that bad. But now since it is the day, he is not too sure if he wants to go.

He looks away from her.

“Is this your way of saying that you don’t want to go?” Elaine asks, with her arms on her waist.

Tynan blinks and his eyes widens. Elaine is wearing different clothing to what she usually wears. Sure, she’s still wearing white, but instead of a dress, she’s wearing white pants with a white long sleeve shirt and coat that falls just below her knees. She is also wearing black boots. He could actually see her gray tail behind her. “You’re really admiring how I look, huh?” Her mouth curves.

“Yes, Elaine. You look beautiful.” He says. If Elaine have her katana made, then she would look even more elegant.

“You want to go? Or are you starting to have second thoughts?”

“Honestly Elaine... I don’t know if I want to go...”

Elaine’s eyes widens for a second, but then she nods slow “It’s ok Tynan... We’ll just...”

A sudden knock come to the door.They look at each other before Elaine goes towards it and opens to see a stubby little green crocodile with the small dark blue T-rex holding their arm. They both are wearing top hats.

“Greetings Elaine and Tynan.” Snippy says with a small smile curving.

“Are we gonna start walking there together? But, oooh, you look so nice Elaine.”

Elaine starts to laugh, putting her arms behind her back.

“Thanks Snippy and Snappi, but Tynan doesn’t want to go today.” Elaine says, “And honestly, I don’t really want to go either.”

“Elaine!” Tynan says flapping on the top of her shoulder, “You were so looking forward to that party." He said, now remembering her talking about it at least half the time she was near him. "You can go if you want to.”

“No, it’s ok. There’s no point in it.”

Snippy and Snappi glance at each other before they face them both.They both had a smile on their face.

“I kinda expected that you didn’t want to go Tynan. Isn’t that right Snippy?”

“Yes, it's ok if you want to be alone for the day.”

Snappi gives them a disk. “Here, have this. Maybe you both will like this song.” Elaine reaches out and grabs the disk, staring at it.

“You know you didn’t have to, right? We’re not your lovers.”

“But you are a charm to have around.” Snippy says and Snappi nods.

“Ok, we will go now. Have fun~!” Snappi says as they grab Snippy’s small stubby hand and they both run off.

Elaine and Tynan watches them run for a minute before Elaine closes the door.

“Well... I guess it’s just us two.” Tynan bobs his head. As they both stare at the disk the reptiles had given them.

“Silence by Marshmello feat Khalid...”

“Who is Marshmello?” Elaine asks, and she looks as if she’s going to laugh. “Is it an actual marshmallow singing this song!?”

Tynan laughs. The thought of an actual marshmellow singing is funny to think about. “I do not know Elaine, but if they say that we’ll like it, then perhaps... We should listen to it.”

Elaine grabs the radio from the room, and puts the disk in, and closes it. Then, a red rose appears from her hand.

“Here. I nearly forgot to give this to you.”

“What...!? For me?”

“Yes.” Elaine says “I would of given a bouquet to you if you came to the party, but I decided to grab one with me in case.” She clips it onto his scarf and he looks at her.

“Elaine... Thank you.”

The song starts to play and Elaine gets up and starts to dance, and Tynan looks at her and smiles, with her arms swinging around with the rhythm.

‘I found peace in your violence

Can't tell me there's no point in trying

I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long.

I'm in need of a savior (Savior), but I'm not asking for favors

My whole life, I've felt like a burden

I think too much, and I hate it

I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring

Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence... ’

Tynan looks away at Elaine, with tears in his eyes, Those memories he’s been keeping for so long is coming back. The song continues when Elaine looks at him. Then she runs towards him.

“Hey, Tynan. Are you ok?”

He breathes in deep and his eyes glance at her.

“I... I don’t think so...” He says, looking down from the table, looking down to the floor. “I am scared Elaine. After when they went and put her in the Telling arc. To test her and to see if they can get magic... But then... She never came back.” His feathers fluffs out, as tears couldn’t stop flowing down.

“... So we’re going to be talking about that time...?” Elaine’s ears droops. He nearly forgot that she doesn’t like talking about it either.

“I... I’m sorry I --”

“Tynan.” Elaine raises her hand. “Don’t apologise. I know it’s harder for you then it is for me. She was one of your pupils after all...”

Tynan breathes out hard. “Yes... I... Having to hide this secret. This... ‘accident’ from others... I still think there are people who think I did something bad to her. I don’t like to hide any of this.”

“I know I...” She leans towards him and her arms wraps around his body. “I don’t like it either.”

Elaine lets go and her slit eyes stares at Tynan, her eyes bent down. “But you know... Even if we are now bounded to this place... You are my partner, and I will always have your back. Ok?”

“... No matter what happens?”

Elaine nods “Yes, no matter what happens. Because we still have a duty to fulfill.” Elaine’s mouth twitches upwards “And because you’re my adorable little marshmallow.”

“Are you trying to sidestep that you’re not a marshmallow too?”

“Oh my god, no!” Elaine says as her face starts to glow red, “Shut up! I am not admitting that!”

Tynan laughs at Elaine, as she starts going on a tangent on twenty reasons on why she’s not a marshmallow.

But that is right. As long as she is there, they can go through anything together. They have gone through countless battles together, so he thinks they can get through the next series of battles, no matter what will come next.

[acourtofthought]

You are choosing to ignore EVERYTHING SJM has begun setting up for Lucien. He doesn't yet know who his father is so his full Day powers haven't come into play.

But, his desire to go to Elain before the Cauldron showed him tapping into his unknown Day powers (light and breaking the wards go hand in hand). The fact that he commanded Cassian with a single word indicates the marker of a future High Lord (of Day). You can't honestly tell me that's not pretty much a guarantee that Lucien's Day powers are going to be huge. 50% of his DNA is from a High Lord. 50% is his mother's Fire, which while strong, is not as strong as that of a High Lord. This shouldn't even be a debate. Feyre constantly mentions how the sun "gleams" on Lucien, "Sunshine on gold caught his eye" and Elain turned to him. And you can't honestly tell me you believe he'll only inherit the ability to handle spells but not also have the power of the Sun. Feyre, getting only a drop from Helion, received both powers from him. I can promise you his blood born son will inherit way more than Feyre.

I never said Lucien would be High Lord of Day in my reblog. I said there's a chance Elain would be gifted that role, at least temporarily. And that Lucien, with his past connections and loyalty to Spring, could easily stand by her side.

The Court didn't fall after Lucien performed Calamnai. It fell after Feyre returned to Spring, she spent a few months there, destroyed the peoples faith in their leader, then Tamlin neglected the lands and its people. The magic being returned to the land is not the only thing keeping a court running. If anything, the fact that Spring is still in bloom when Nesta arrived there proves Lucien was successful in returning the magic to the land but the neglect and lawlessness of its people is directly tied in to Tamlin failing as its leader.

Why would Elain revive a Court she has no connection to?

Because SJM has decided it was going to be a possibility when she specifically wrote into the most recent book that "Spring had been made for someone like" Elain. That she would tell Elain she needed to visit. No, we don't have the exact scenario as to how it's going to come about. That's kind of the point of Elain getting her own book. But again, it's nearly impossible for anyone to read those lines and not realize that there's a strong possibility of Elain..... Ending up in Spring. And with the way Elain is described, a person who is bothered by violence and cruelty, do you honestly think she'd end up in Spring, look around and see the lawlessness of the people, see that it's a land in need of healing, and she'd turn the other way if she has powers that could help her help them? The female who can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles? To help the people understand that Lucien, who had done so much for Spring in general, was not part of Feyre's deceit?

Asking for someone to provide you every aspect of what's going to happen isn't fair. I'm sure prior to SF, you wouldn't have been able to tell me how and why Nesta would end up in a bog, why she'd have any reason to go after the Trove and later why she'd have any need to enter the Blood Rite.

You asking why Elain would revive a Court and expecting a detailed response is unreasonable. All we can say is that SJM has given us hints that place both Lucien and Elain in Spring in future books and later, placed them both on the Continent where Koschei is.

Again, whether that actually happens is up to the author but these aren't things I'm making up.

The following are why I see both Lucien and Elain first ending up in Spring to make changes for the better then ending up trying to break Vassa's curse together. And really, if you can't see how strong these hints are than I honestly have nothing more I can say.

And keep in mind, SJM pinned Elain under Blodeuwedd, who is the Welsh Goddess of Spring, bringing "new life". Which only enhances the idea that she could play a major role in its recovery.

Eris’s fingers closed around the petals. “Who says he wants land on the continent?” (talking about Beron)

“Especially those of us who are weakened. And when the dust settles, there would be at least one court left vacant, its lands bare for the taking.”

Eris looked toward the hills beyond the orchard, green and gold and glowing in the sunlight. “They say a beast prowls these lands now. A beast with keen green eyes and golden fur. Some people think the beast has forgotten his other shape, so long has he spent in his monstrous form. And though he roams these lands, he does not see or care for the neglect he passes, the lawlessness, the vulnerability.

“You’ve been trying to bring Tamlin back for a while. But he isn’t getting better, is he?”

So Eris tells us Beron has his sights set on the lands of Spring which is weak. And Tamlin, who could put a stop to it, isn't getting better.

Cassian didn’t know why he’d expected an update regarding the High Lord of Spring. Lucien only gave those in private to Rhys.

“But Tamlin is already hanging by a thread. You and Lucien have made it clear that he’s barely improved this past year. Learning of Feyre’s pregnancy might make him crumble again. With a new war possible and Briallyn up to her bullshit with Koschei, we need a strong ally. We need the Spring Court’s forces.”

But we need to summon Lucien,” Azriel said, just a shade tightly, as if he didn’t like it one bit. “We need to tell him the news, and permanently station him at the Spring Court to contain any damage and to be our eyes and ears.”

Here, Lucien is shown to be their strongest connection to the Spring Court and really, the strongest figure in the Spring Court at this time considering Tamlin's a lump on a log.

Elain would love this place.

Elain … The Spring Court had been made for someone like her.

Nesta would have told Elain to visit this place. And too bad the lord who ruled these lands was a piece of shit.

Her gaze shifted to the carved wooden rose she’d placed upon the mantel. beside a figurine of a supple-bodied female, her upraised arms clasping a full moon between them. Some sort of primal goddess— Nesta hadn’t let herself dwell on why she’d felt the need to set the rose there. Why she hadn’t just thrown it in a drawer.

It doesn't matter the specifics of how she ends up there or why she'll end up helping. That's not meant for us to know right now. But those repetitive lines aren't in there for shits and giggles. And I know Nesta says "perhaps the Mother" but.... If you follow the mythology of Blodeuwedd, Llews mother is a goddess whose symbols are a Moon and an owl. Which again, all ties into Elain being fashioned after the goddess of Spring as she was tagged by SJM and there are hints that Elain can shift into an owl as did Blodeuwedd (shape shifting is a Spring Court power).

Then:

Lucien stared out the window—as if he could see the lake across a sea and a continent. As if he were setting his target.

Elain had always wanted to visit the continent to study the tulips and other famed flowers, but her imagination had stretched no further.

Beyond that, the continent was vast. And to the south, another continent sprawled. Would she have gone?

Obviously we're breaking down this book based on our ships. And maybe my interpretation is not the direction SJM will go. But please stop telling Eluciens there's not plausible reason for them to come up with theories that Elain and Lucien will end in Spring together. He's got major ties and there's plenty of hints that show she could end up there at some point. And enough references of Elain being linked to a goddess and light and the Mother that it's entirely possible for her to heal a broken land (and when a hint that she healed Cassian’s wounds).

And there is canon text that could absolutely hint at both Elain and Lucien ending up on the continent together to free Vassa.

Maybe I as well as other Eluciens will be proven wrong. But I promise you, that's not because of a lack of reading comprehension or not having read the books. I'm not normally an over confident person but in this case, I feel extremely proud of the hints I've picked up on as being real possibilities for future books. Again, I'm not guaranteed to be right but I definitely haven't spun something out of nothing.

One of the strangest arguments that keeps circulating on and on is that apparently, due to their love of flowers and sunshine, Lucien and Elain will end up together in Spring Court, and somehow, not only that, but Lucien will become the High Lord of Spring.

Let’s examine that further: 

In the beginning of ACOWAR, when Feyre enters Lucien’s room, she mentions how everything there is connected to…Autumn. No mention of sunshine. In fact, it never says that Lucien has any particular affinity for sunshine, or flowers. He is the son of Autumn, exiled from him home, and he happened to land on Spring. Now, he lives in the Human Lands, famous for their crappy weather, and he isn’t yearning to move away.

All seasonal courts–Spring, Summer, Winter and Autumn, as per Rhys’s explanation in ACOMAF, are sustained by the magic of their High Lords. The only reason Spring IS Spring, is because of Tamlin. The power of his magic maintains his court in the perpetual state of Spring. If there is no Tamlin or ‘valid’ High Lord, Spring will cease to exist. That very sunshine and those flowers will no longer be there, because the Court would fall.

Even a High Lord cannot simply pass on the reigns of their power to their (former) friend, or anyone else, for that matter. A High Lord is selected by a higher force and bestowed Power. (That’s explained multiple times throughout the series)

Just because Lucien and Elain (very randomly) will arrive to Spring with their suitcases, kill Tamlin, take the Court, doesn’t actually mean anything. Perhaps Lucien MIGHT be the Heir to Day (also, not confirmed since he doesn’t display any High Lord potential or powers), but he has literally NO connection to Spring other than being a guest to its High Lord for a number of years.

Additionally, Lucien’s only tentative connection to Spring is actually…Tamlin. He visits Tamlin out of pity, and as part of his work for Rhys. Otherwise, he has no friends there. Andras is long gone. Other sentries, who were his friends, either died over the 50 years of the curse, or left Spring after Feyre. Even the servants are gone. Lucien has no connection to Spring. Furthermore, it’s very unclear that Lucien would ever even want to be a HL of ANYTHING, let alone a Court that isn’t related to him. 

And Elain? Elain is going to move from the only family she has left in the world, to the Court that’s furthest from that family, she is going to leave behind the only home she’s had in Prythian, she will leave her little nephew and all her friends, her work, her gardens, and perfectly sunshiny Velaris, to go and live in Spring? Because she likes flowers? In a place to which she has absolutely no connection, and from which her sister had to be broken out?

it pays to read the books.

[fuckmelifesucks]

Spy Elain

So I read a post about Elain. It stated that us elain fans wanting for Elain to become a Spy is absurd because at the same time we also want her to be seen and being a Spy means always being hidden and discreet. To live in shadows and NOT be seen.

It's said that by wanting for her to become a Spy, we are trying to mold her into our own perfect character and into something she is not.

But i highly think that people did not interprete our point of elain properly and then twist it into something that it wasn't.

Because it is CANNON that the protagonists themselves have noticed elain becoming stealthy and question if she HERSELF has been taking lessons from azriel or Nuala and cerridwen.

When we say we want elain to be a Spy doesn't mean that we want her to be spying on her own family or being hidden while being with the ic.

We mean that we want elain becoming a Spy FOR the nc.

Being a Spy doesn't mean you can't also show your openness to ur own family. Doesn't mean that u have to hide from them too. We want elain to spy on other courts and other people and help the nc.

And from what I've interpreted from reading about Elain is that she does not like to be the center of everybody's attention (i could easily be wrong but this is just my interpretation). She wants to be seen by her family but at the same time she doesn't want to have ALL their attention focused solely on her.

She wants the ic to see her but at the same time to give elain her own space as well. She wants them to see her AND give her space but what she doesn't want is for them to give her so much space, so much distance that they forget about her.

She wants them to see her as more than just a fragile doll who would break if in a stressful and dangerous situation. She wants them to see that she is so much more that what they see her as. She wants to be seen as an asset to the nc as well and not be coddled and treated like a baby.

She only wants her FAMILY to see her and i doubt she'd even give two fucks if someone other than her family didn't see her.

And out of all three sisters, she is the one with the most potential to become a Spy. She is seen as a sweet docile and naive person. But we know that she is much more than that. She is much more than what she lets on.

She observant and brave and courageous AND we know that she can make anyone like her in minutes (sadly not the fandom tho) and can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

She is your proper sweet innocent girl and so no one would even suspect that she's spying on them. They'll only know of it when it's too late.

But the ic is her family now. She doesn't need to hide from them. She knows that and so she wants them to see her. See her as more than a doll to be looked after.

She can be a Spy and yet can still show herself and her openness to her own family at the same time.

[onceupona-chaos]

SJM...

writes Elain being good in keeping secrets from book 2 and compares her to the NC spymaster:

Elain pushed, “We keep it secret—we send the servants away. (...) No one will know.”

She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping."

Makes Elain sneaking up on the entire IC, very deliberately remember the reader who her friends are (spies) and drops the possibility of Elain taking classes with spies.

Elain spoke from the doorway, having appeared so silently that they all twisted toward her, “Using me.”

She scanned Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.

Friendly reminder of who her friends are:

Nuala, it seemed, was a spectacularly good spy.

Skilled spy—trained by Azriel himself—and master cook.

They make good spies.

Especially for what they’d done for my sister. The companionship, the purpose, the small sense of normalcy in that kitchen.

Companionship... purpose... sense of normalcy... sounds a lot like others friendship trios.

Writes that she can be convincing af:

My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

Compares her powers (and her sttrugles with them) to Azriel's, the spymaster, because both can see/hear things others can't:

It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not … Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood what gift he possessed.

Writes Elain being observant and good at reading people (including Azriel, when not even his brothers can have a good reading of him).

Elain saw every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why.

Elain's abilities were canonically compared to Azriel, the NC spymaster, many times throughout the books: hear and see things others can't, secret-keeping, stealth, being convincing... what's not clicking?

[jungleslang]

I am 100% obsessed with the idea of Elain being a spy, so I decided to compile all the evidence that alludes to her becoming one in the future and the traits she has that would be useful because why not?

Up first is Elain's charm.

When we see her again in ACOMAF, it's Elain who convinces all of the servants to leave the house so she and Nesta can meet with the bat boys. Rhys even comments that the servants left the house as if a plague had befallen it, which just goes to show how efficiently she got the job done. Feyre then says Elain can convince anyone do to anything with just a few smiles. This is obviously a useful quality for a spy, and when combined with Elain's kindness and beauty makes her less likely to be suspected of any wrongdoing. Her charm would also make people more willing to talk to her, which makes it easier for her to gather information.

We can also see that Elain is stealthy.

Both Feyre and Nesta comment on how silently Elain moves at various points in the series. Nesta even wonders if she's learning stealth from either Az or the twins. We also have to remember that the Fae have enhanced hearing, yet they still don't hear sound from her steps. I'm sure I don't need to tell you guys why this is an amazing quality for a spy.

Third is Elain's wisdom.

Elain has been referred to as wise by both Mor and Feyre. Wisdom means having knowledge and good judgement, which is essential when you're a spy. You have to know how to navigate whatever situation you find yourself in while preventing people from finding out what you're doing. Having good judgement helps you solve problems more efficiently, and wisdom also enhances your ability to influence others because people listen to you.

Elain is also good at keeping secrets.

Elain was the only one who knew Feyre was pregnant, and did not give any indication of it whatsoever. Feyre even says that she might have Az beat for secret-keeping, which is no small feat considering Az is a spymaster and shadowsinger.

There is also the fact that Elain seems to have good observation skills.

Cassian says that Nesta was wrong in her assessment of Elain, that Elain had seen "every single thing Nesta had done, and understood why." Additionally, in Az's POV, he says that Elain is well aware of why he stood by the doorway when Lucien was there and of why Az rarely came to family dinners anymore. I think this is super important because Az doesn't seem like the type to give himself or his motives away like that, but Elain could still tell. Elain being able to read Az like this is a big thing. This indicates that Elain is observant, and she is at least somewhat adept at reading people, analyzing their actions, and determining why they do what they do, which is definitely an important skill. I also think Elain being able to read and understand Nesta is important, since she's such a complex character.

Then there's Elain's connection to Az's shadows.

We all know about the iconic scene where Elain literally steps out of a shadow to stab Hybern, so I figured I didn't need to add that one. I don't think SJM would make an attempt to connect Elain with Az's shadows like this if it wasn't important. I think this is pretty self-explanatory as well, and if Elain does indeed have the ability to use Az's shadows, that alone gives her the potential to be a formidable spy.

This one is pretty obvious, but I can't not talk about Elain's powers. We know that Elain can see the future, but it's evident that Elain can also see the present when Feyre asks her to track down the Suriel in chapter 57 of ACOWAR. She's able to see exactly where the Suriel is just by focusing on the image of it that Feyre planted in her mind. And she figured out how to do this on her own, with no training. Like y'all, baby girl doesn't even need to be present or next to you to spy on you. That's huge.

Last but not least, Elain is patient. Az tells Cassian that waiting is a big part of syping. And you're probably wondering how I know Elain is patient, and the reason is that Elain is a gardener. Take it from me, gardening requires a large amount of patience, which was exactly why I wasn't cut out for it. The same way that people don't engage in evil deeds when it's convenient to you, flowers don't bloom when you want them to. Feyre talks about the beautiful garden Elain cultivated at her house, which undoubtedly took a lot of time. She even talks about how Elain would kneel in dirt weeding, which scandalized the servants. Some plants take years to grow, and each seed takes its own sweet time to sprout. Tending to a garden is absolutely an exercise in patience. It requires planting, watering, mulching, weeding, watching and waiting in order to get results.

I also think it's important to note the other parallels between her and Az besides her connection to his shadows. In chapter 16 of ACOMAF, Feyre calls Az "the knife in the dark." But who ended up actually becoming the knife in the dark? Elain, when she stabbed Hybern.

I also always think about this part.

It reads so similar to the moment Elain stabs Hybern. Elain snarls at Hybern "Don't you touch my sister" while Az snarls "Don't you touch her." I live for Az and Elain snarling at Hybern not to touch the people they love. Honestly, I'm probably reaching and this might not mean anything, but I figured I'd add it just because.

Damn this was long as hell, and if you've made it this far, you're amazing. Honestly, this is just me trying to manifest spy Elain, and if it doesn't happen, I will die. SJM better not rob us like that. Az and Elain would be the ultimate spy couple, and no one can convince me otherwise.

The credit for coming up with this amazing theory goes to @ladylochan

[acourtofthought]

 Including a nod to an important comment made by @highkeyholly

"There are many types of strength beyond the ability to wield a blade and end lives. Amren told me that yesterday."

That line was said by Nesta but we know she ended up becoming a warrior and wielding a blade so who else could have a strength that does not involve becoming a warrior?

The author is telling us to consider what can be achieved outside of being a warrior because that is just as important yet some still refuse to see what Elain is capable of because she doesn't fit the warrior girl mold.

SJM took three females who were in their mid to late 20's with absolutely no training and in about 6 months had them achieve something that only 6 Illyrians in 500 years have ever achieved. Illyrians who are taken from their families and thrown into training camps as early as 9? 10? (Might I suggest Cassian implement their training program into the Illyrians so Devlon can start producing better warriors that don't need taken from their family at such an early age?) And the main reason people say that worked out is because of their friendship and teamwork. So if friendship was the key to helping them achieve something that is damn near impossible for even warriors who spend their lives training then why can't Elain's strength, how she is canonically good at talking to others and making friends be the thing that leads her to being an excellent High Lady?

In book 1 Elain took charge of planning Feyre's ball. Who we're told "personally greeted each guest and danced with all the important sons."

We're told that her joy was infectious and there wasn't a servant or gardener who didn't smile at her, that even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her special treats through the day.

She also took charge of preparing a satchel and horse for Feyre.

In book 2 we see Elain take charge with allowing Feyre to use their house for the Human Queens meeting, how Nesta didn't want that but Elain reminded her of how Feyre had given to them for years and it was their turn to help Feyre help others. Elain volunteers to send the servants away and Feyre tells the Bat Boys that Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.

In book 3 we see her come up with a solution to help the humans find a place to stay during the war.

In the novella, we see her show respect for the fae's Solstice tradition, where she made it a point to understand what that holiday might mean to them. Even though Elain struggled with the loss of her humanity, she still observed fae customs.

In SF we see that she has taken it upon herself to help the citizens of Velaris, we're reminded of how easily she's always made friends. We see that despite her aversion to cruelty, she opted to join the IC in the Hewn City because she was a part of the court and would do whatever was needed. We see her offer to do something dangerous to help the IC.

And throughout the series Elain has been the most diplomatic of the sisters considering she maintained a fairly good relationship with every member of her family for a long time, even her father, while Feyre and Nesta hated him and were at odds with one another a majority of it the time. Considering Elain got along with the IC from the get go versus Nesta who was spitting venom at them at the start.

Does Elain know how to lead an army? No....but that's why there are generals.

But could Elain be good at talking to people who have lost faith in the leadership of the Spring Court? Could she give them hope? Could she help clear Lucien's name of the lies Feyre spun that they still believe him complicit in? Is it likely she'd care to hear out their concerns and help them find solutions?

I think the answer is a very obvious yes to all of those.

Is Elain's mate set up to become a HL himself? Yes. Did Elain's mate spend his youth learning about the ways of his court and other courts by studying and making friends and talking to the people of the lands? Also yes. Did Elain's mate work beside the HL of Spring for centuries, taking on things that probably should have been handled by Tamlin but who he left to Lucien to deal with? Yes again. Is Lucien a warrior who can be his High Lady's "sword" when necessary? Elain doesn't need to be a warrior herself to be a leader. Especially in a court that is not typically known for it's bloodshed and cruelty as the NC and even Autumn are.

Feyre would not have become HL of the NC unless she had Rhys training her and helping her.

Nesta would not have become a Valkyrie unless she had Cassian put effort into training her and leaving books on combat for her to read.

But for some reason readers believe that Elain is just supposed to do everything on her own? That because she might not be capable of something by herself right now she's never going to be because she'll be the only character with a POV who doesn't have a guiding hand in her love interest?

It's really strange readers are fine with Feyre becoming High Lady because her mate decided she would be (rather than the magic choosing her) though her skills were more about survival than leadership and strange they are fine with three females who never showed any interest in being warriors with only half a years worth of training achieving something that the best warriors of a court struggle to do. But they draw the line at Elain, who has already demonstrated diplomacy, an interest in people (fae and human alike), with the ability to have them do what she wants with simply a smile, becoming High Lady when the author has told us mates are equals and Elain's mate is set up to be a future High Lord.

This is one of those times I am going to boldly declare something but one way or another I think it's pretty clear Elain is going to be High Lady. Whether through the magic choosing her for Spring or because Lucien is the kind of male who would ask her to be High Lady by his side once he's High Lord.

Having no issues with Lucien as High Lord while hating the thought of his mate becoming High Lady is misogynistic as hell.

For fuck's sake. I am sick and tired of Elain's character being minimized into the "flower girl" so I'm going to rant. I don't think Elain Archeron is going to be a High Lady because she "likes plants" and "is not afraid to get her hands dirty." I think she will be a high lady because she possesses the important ability to work with others and move/convince people (diplomacy). Her not being afraid to get her hands dirty just shows that she's ready to LEAD. She grew up in the gentry; she has the makings of an upper class lady. Obviously she won't make a perfect High Lady since she has little to no experience, but that's why Lucien fucking exists? He has been preparing for this his whole fucking life. We have SO MANY HINTS that Lucien is ready to lead. Yeah he has only ever been a courtier but he's more qualified to rule than anyone else????? There's so much canonical evidence of this PLUS he is showing High Lord markers in ACOSF. Besides...weren't Tamlin and Tarquin both thrust into Highlordship??? Tamlin was doing a well enough job before Feyre and Tarquin is doing just fine, isn't he? Tarquin was faaar off the line of succession, no one even expected him to be High Lord. I'd say Lucien and Elain already have a headstart on them. Is it fucking unrealistic for Elain to end up as a High Lady? Yes. Is it fucking unrealistic for the Valkyries to win the Blood Rite? Yes. Is it fucking unrealistic for Feyre to survive under the mountain? Yes. Did we all forget these are fucking fantasy books??? What's with the Elain hate???

[riddlecrux]

What is past is present: Azriel and Elain, Helion and Lady of Autumn Court

This post is going to be a long one. I will be talking about parallels between Helion - Lady of Autumn Court - Beron and Azriel - Elain - Lucien situation. How their relationships mirror each other, how the blood duel mentioned in ACOSF and ACOWAR will come to an end, but also how the first triangle was used as a plot device in ACOWAR. I believe it is not a coincidence that SJM decided to put these scenes and histories in the same book with such a short span of time passing between things happening on the pages of their story. I would like to say that this post is a pro Elriel meta, so if they are not your cup of tea please scroll past this. Many thanks to Gardening Tools, especially @silverlinedeyes !

We are going to start with the Lady of Autumn Court and the scene at the High Lord’s council. She is there with her husband, Beron and as the conversation surrounding Hybern increases in intensity, we are presented with a bit of background information about the Lady.

Lady of the Autumn Court had 2 sisters that died during Hybern's soldiers' attack. We got to see another family of three sisters, two of them dying for their sister. What's even more important is a mention of Hybern's war camps and how it's very unlikely for anyone to survive their time there.

Here Beron taunts Kallias by telling his mate that Hybern and his people probably torture and abuse women before killing them. (Please be sure to remember that because we're going to go back to this notion later in this post.)

Another big insight about Lady's life and this particular accident comes from no one else but Helion.

Few things that are very important to mention: - she had already given birth to a few of her children - Hybern directly attacked the estate they were in - her sisters let her run away because they loved her - she tried to fight and stay with them till they convinced her to run - the beasts sent by Hybern tailed her and finally cornered her in a trap

What Feyre says in this particular scene - about Helion knowing too many details holds great importance for the further quotes. We also get to know that, in fact, it was Helion who rescued the Lady - not only saved but found her. The setup, the build-up and the fact that it wasn't her "husband" that came for her are the main things I wish to bring attention to, as we are going to analyze different scenes from the same book with this knowledge.

He could have ended it differently, yet he didn't. Why? The question seems to be imprinted in Feyre's mind as she tries to connect the dots and points she was given, just like us readers. I do believe that what we are being presented with is the notion of the mating bond. Helion's rage at Lady's attack projects typical mate behavior - such as unnecessary violence against the ones who dared to hurt their mate. It also goes with the information of him finding her - how was that possible? Her husband wasn't there, it was Helion who essentially knew that something was wrong. How? Well, by applying the mating bond in this picture we can easily deduct few things: Helion probably felt her distraught through the bond, was able to locate her and save her.

Another insight given by Helion is about Lady's relationship with Beron. Not only it gives us information about her young age (cue to Rhysand's mother and how her young age was also brought up as something very disturbing and not in favour of some mating bonds), but also we get to know that her marriage was arranged. Just like the reader, Feyre is left with these very personal insights and detailed descriptions - so she presses Helion more, to speak, to see if her suspicions are correct.

Another person jumps into the conversation and it is Mor who hands the information of a possible romance between Lady and Helion. We learn that both of them met at an equinox ball before she was proposed with an arranged marriage with Beron. Feyre's curiosity is evident in the way she perks up at Mor's words. Helion on the other hand counter-attacks and provides us with the political background of the story. The Lady was basically left without a choice when it came to her love life.

Helion saved Beron's wife during the war. And Beron didn't know and still doesn't have an idea that it was Helion who saved the Lady.

Feyre tries to fish for more information - and Helion seems to be very reluctant to answer her question about his relationship with the Lady. It makes us think that, in fact, their relationship was somehow forbidden, being kept in secret. Moreover, what's even more interesting is the fact that we suddenly have a shift of focus on another person - Azriel. We are deliberately made aware of the fact that Azriel is listening to this important conversation.

We are starting to see Helion becoming slightly less humorous - Feyre can spot the difference between his usual self and the way he delivers his question. It suggests that the relationship and potential mating bond is a very touchy subject for him.

Their forbidden relationship went on for decades. They were secret lovers till Beron found about them. We see that contrast between the Lady with Helion - all brightness and smiles, Lady with Beron - withdrawn, timid, scared.

I clenched my teeth. “If you were her lover, why didn’t you stop it?” The wrong thing to say. Utterly wrong, by the dark fury that rippled across Helion’s face. “Beron is a High Lord, and she is his wife, mother of his brood. She chose to stay. Chose. And with the protocols and rules, Lady, you will find that most situations like the one you were in do not end well for those who interfere.”

Helion reacts with anger at Feyre's inquiry about his lack of participation in the case of the Lady's wellbeing. "Dark fury rippling across Helion's face" is also an interesting word choice. Again we are reminded that their romance was meant to end that way due to the notions of choice and politics.

“Beron never called you out for it?” “To publicly do so would be to admit that his possession made a fool of him. So we continue our little dance, these centuries later.” I somehow doubted that beneath that roguish charm and irreverence, Helion felt it was a dance at all.

Helion reminds us about politics that bind different Courts - in this case, we can easily see that the matter of choice in this example ends with Lady choosing duty over love. It also supplies us with an idea that if Helion would have wanted to fight for Lady he would need to participate in a blood duel. Yet, the Lady chose Beron - we don't know why Helion probably was left alone with the same question. However, by analyzing this situation I believe that Lady knew about the possibility of a blood duel happening she didn't want her potential mate to be hurt. So, in the end, she opted for a life in a loveless marriage with Beron. Furthermore, we have Rhysand and Feyre coming to the conclusion that Lucien is Helion's son - and he is the fruit of the loving relationship between Helion and the Lady.

What does this mean, though? Nothing—ultimately nothing. Other than the fact that Lucien might be Helion’s sole heir. And that … it changed nothing in this war. Especially not with Lucien on the continent, hunting that enchanted queen. A bird of flame … and a lord of fire. I wondered if they’d found each other yet.

The usage of the word "this war" is not a coincidence, as well as Rhysand's poor prediction of the future. Because as we know, right now - it changes a lot. Elain being his mate bounds him to the Night Court, so losing that relationship puts the Court at risk. Especially now, when Lucien doesn't know that Helion is his father. Another very important addition is the part about Lucien and Vassa. Feyre has prophetic tendencies and her thoughts about both Vassa and Lucien always focus on their... relationship. Not to mention that it was brought up after that whole conversation with Helion. With all these things above, I would like to move on to Elriel parallels. Starting with the Cauldron kidnapping Elain. Please bear in mind that this scene happens after the meeting with Helion, after learning about the story of Lady's and Helion's romance.

But Azriel asked softly, “What about Elain?”

The one who noticed that Elain was absent was Azriel, we can speculate whatever it was his intuition, his shadows, or perhaps some kind of feeling that made him aware of her absence. Yet, it's not a coincidence that another male character, the one who doesn't have an official mate is the only one who either felt/realized that she was taken. That's the first parallel I would love to bring to your attention - Helion was the one who found and rescued the Lady. Now, the situation is almost identical - Hybern attacks via Cauldron takes Elain to the war camps.

And what Hybern would do to Elain, might already be doing— From the shadows near the entrance to the tent, Azriel said, as if in answer to some unspoken debate, “I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

Azriel reacts with rage, a silent debate raging within him. He is battling something deep inside him, which is obstructed from the reader's point of view. I wonder why? He is the one who swears to find her and rescue her. Also, worth mentioning how Feyre seems to realize the graveness of the situation - as if she can remember the conversation she had with Helion about what happened with sisters of the Lady of Autumn Court. War camps. Nobody would walk away from them alive.

We looked to Rhys, to Cassian and Nesta, to Mor—right as she appeared, breathless, between the tent flaps. Her eyes went to me, then the shadowsinger, and flared with shock and fear—

In this scene we also have Mor. Mor was present during Helion's conversation and gave input about their love and forbidden relationship. Mor that possess the power of Truth. Is it possible that Mor knew about the mating bond between Helion and the Lady? Is it possible that Mor knows about the truth of the mating bond between Lucien and Elain? Does Mor know about the potential mating bond between Azriel and Elain? There are so many questions and we don't get an answer. Mor keeps secrets, which is understandable yet it provides a whole new aspect of Mor being the one who realizes what's happening. (Not to mention that Mor is always present when Elain is with Lucien, assessing them.)

Screaming. A shadow gripped my shoulder, reminding me not to run. Ianthe would not run—would not show alarm. My mouth went dry as that scream sounded again. I couldn’t bear it—to let it go on, to see what was being done— Azriel’s shadow-hand grasped my own, tugging me closer. His rage rippled off his invisible form.

It is Azriel who reacts once again with - rage. At the thought of Elain being tortured, abused, or being killed. Feyre can't stomach the idea of what is happening to her sister in this war camp.

I could feel Jurian’s smile against my ear. “She’s in his tent. Chained with steel and a little spell from his favorite book.” Shit. Shit. Perhaps I should have gotten Helion, who could break almost any—

The mention of Helion is such a beautiful parallel. We, as readers, are amidst a rescue mission. A situation that was very similarly described few chapters before, a situation in which it was Helion in Azriel's shoes. In the past it was - Helion and Lady, here in the "future" we have - Azriel and Elain. The same circumstances - Hybern attack/Hybern powers, three sisters, and the only one is targeted, a savior that isn't husband/mate finding and rescuing the girl.

Azriel gently removed the gag from her mouth. “Are you hurt?” She shook her head, devouring the sight of him as if not quite believing it. “You came for me.” The shadowsinger only inclined his head.

I could write a whole meta about this quote because it's ridden with such enormous parallels and foreshadowing. Let's start with the simplest one, which is the word "devour". It has very strong connections to physicality, it basically means that Elain greedily took him in, he was her focal point at that moment. Also, the following addition of her not quite believing that, in fact, it is Azriel who arrived before her - she hadn't expected him to rescue her and you may be wondering why? It all beautifully goes with the idea of two mates/true mates theories - what is making me say this with so much certainty? Well, first of all, ACOWAR is full of descriptions of how a healthy mating bond works, for example, Feysand one. It's a bridge connecting two souls through which our emotions, thoughts can be perceived for the other person.

Find me, find me, find me, I tried shouting down that bond. But my mate’s wry voice didn’t answer. There was only the roaring void.

This happens at the begging of ACOWAR when Feyre tries to communicate with Rhysand through their mating bond. I find it very interesting that throughout the whole book the trope of "finding your true love, significant other" is very persistent. This brings me back to the theory that both Azriel and Helion heard their mates' cries of help and that's how they were able to rescue them and find them. In addition to that Elain's "you came for me" is striking so many questions. What does she mean? Why is she so docile and peaceful? As if she somehow had an idea that someone will come for her - did she perhaps inwardly call through the mating bond? This, again, brings us to another parallel - Beron doesn't know that it was Helion who rescued the Lady. Lucien doesn't know that it was Azriel who saved Elain - which, we really don't know if he even felt/knew that something has happened.

The hounds closed in, two breaking away—to cut to the side. To herd us. For that was a cliff at the other edge of the camp. A cliff with a very, very long drop, and unforgiving river below.

I'm bringing this up because the setting is oddly familiar with the run of Lady of Autumn's one. The isolated place, a trap etc.

Azriel’s roar echoed off the rocks as the hound slammed into him, dragging those shredding talons down his spine, his wings— The girl screamed, but Elain moved. As Azriel battled to keep them airborne, keep his grip on them, my sister sent a fierce kick into the beast’s face. Its eye. Another. Another. It bellowed, and Elain slammed her bare, muddy foot into its face again. The blow struck home. With a yelp of pain, it released its claws—and plunged into the ravine.

Parallel on parallel. We have Hybern's beasts, we have a similar setting again and fight. What is different, however, is that in Helion's case it was solely him that destroyed beasts while rescuing the Lady. Here, however, it is Elain that fights against beasts - she who had never trained, she who is a gardener is fighting against evil. She is kicking as the beasts hurt Azriel. She took the initiative and killed the beast at that moment when they previously hurt Azriel. Also, the most beautiful comparison in my opinion is the fact that after Elain knocks the beast it falls down the ravine, dying. It is somehow very symbolic that Elain kills the beast that falls into the ravine, whereas Lady of Autumn is stuck in the ravine as beasts approach her and it is the moment when Helion saves her.

The gray light of morning had broken over the world, mist clinging to our ankles as we headed into that camp, Azriel still cradling Elain to his chest. He dripped blood behind him the entire time—a trickle compared to the torrent that should be leaking out.

After that intense battle, they arrive in the safety, but Azriel still holds on Elain even if he himself is bleeding all over the place.

Rhys lunged for Azriel, taking Elain from him and gently setting my sister down. Azriel rasped, swaying on his feet, “We need Helion to get these chains off her.” Yet Elain didn’t seem to notice them as she rose up on her toes and kissed the shadowsinger’s cheek.

Another mention of Helion in that very parallel setting. He was very present during the rescue mission, which is a neat way of showering the audience with foreshadowing. If I wanted to indulge even more in the symbolism of this scene, I would point out that the chains on Elain are very symbolic as well. They could either mean the restrain of her powers, but also the chains of the "lack of freedom", "lack of choice". Being freed by both Azriel and Helion is something that I believe is very important to remember while waiting for the next book. Because even if Elain is a mirror to Lady - Elain will change the course of her story. Elain is going to choose love over duty, she will choose Azriel - which ends with them discovering that, in fact, the bond was there from the beginning. Helion getting rid of those chains is also a metaphor for what is to come. He will break Lady's chains by fighting with Beron during the blood duel. In this timeline, Azriel and Elain are symbolism of healthy love, mating bond, freedom of choice. Lucien doesn't mirror Beron, because he himself doesn't want to be with Elain since both of them don't feel comfortable with each other, they are making each other miserable. Not to mention the fact that their mating bond is... very weak and through the ACOWAR and ACOSF we see that it is different from the true mating bonds that are present in the universe. Azriel-Elain-Lucien triangle will break the past wheel of unhappiness and forced love, changing it by their own rules of free choice. As for Helion-Lady-Beron love story, if I may be so bold, the blood duel is going to happen and Beron will die - freeing Lady and Helion from him and politics that kept them away. If you are still not sure if these two situations are foreshadowing I would love to put this quote as the ending of this very long meta.

Azriel shrugged. “We—Rhys, Cass, and I—will occasionally remind each other that what we think to be our greatest weakness can sometimes be our biggest strength. And that the most unlikely person can alter the course of history.”

And as you can guess, that very unlikely person who altered the course of history in ACOWAR was Elain when she killed King of Hybern.

[acourtofthought]

how can elucien influence prythian politically?

Right now there are a few political issues that I believe Elain and Lucien will be heavily involved in.

The Peace Treaty: Throughout the entirety of SF, Mor was unable to get Vallahan to sign the treaty because they're interested in adding human land to their territory, we're told Montesere and Rask are likely thinking the same thing. The Humans: In the novella, Rhys says this: "We need the humans in other territories to trust us, if we can ever hope to achieve lasting peace." The Spring Court:

"If Montesere and Vallahan march on us, if Rask joins with them, we will not withstand it. Not with Beron already turned against us and allied with Briallyn. Not if Tamlin cannot master his guilt and grief and become what he once was." "With a new war possible and Briallyn up to her bullshit with Koschei, we need a strong ally. We need the Spring Court's forces."

The humans do not trust the fae. The fae on the continent had no interest in signing the treaty presented by the NC. The Spring Court (Tamlin) clearly dislikes the Inner Circle. But Lucien........ He was the one to help the humans immediately after the war in ACOWAR. He was the one who helped them sort out their politics in ACOFAS / ACOSF. He is the one who has become friends who Jurian and Vassa who are currently leading the humans close to the border. Lucien is also the one who has not given up on Tamlin, who has tried to help him, who always cared for the people of Spring as if they were truly his own court. We also know that Lucien has always been good at talking to others and making friends, that he prefers his words to win his battles. In ACOMAF, we're told "my sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles." She treated the servants with respect in ACOTAR ("There wasn't a servant or gardener who didn't smile at her, and even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her plates of cookies and tarts at various points in the day"), she befriended Nuala and Cerridwen in ACOWAR (Rhys's servants / employees), she took an interest to learn of the people and their ways in the Night Court shortly after her arrival, and we're told her ability to make friends and find joy and purpose are skills that had always come easily to her.

In SF we're told: "Find a way to deal with Briallyn, find out what she wants and why. Discover whether Koschei is indeed involved and why. At best we'll stop them all. At worst, we'll have proof to justify any conflict and hopefully win allies to our side, avoiding the bloodshed that would carve up these lands once more." I think that Sarah laid out the series for us in that line (as I do think she's wrapping up the Archeron saga with the next book and will then shift to spin-offs involving other characters and other villains after that. Silver Flames resolved the "find a way to deal with Briallyn, find out what she wants and why". Silver Flames also answered the "Discover whether Koschei is indeed invovled and why." I think the Elucien book will handle the next part, "At best we'll stop them. At worst, we'll have proof to justify any conflict and hopefully win allies to our side, avoiding the bloodshed that would carve up these lands once more." Elain and Lucien shine with their people skills, their ability to convince others with words and smiles and I think they'll be the key to putting a stop the Koschei and preventing another war from happening in the first place by gaining those allies, getting the peace treaty signed and avoiding further bloodshed.

[featherymalignancy]

How About a Hug, Hm? REMIX

So a few days ago I got this ask about my Elriel one-shot “How About A Hug?” because I messed up the formatting and I you basically have to to read it as a reblog. I also was really unsatisfied with the end result.

So, I did the most Feathery™️ thing every and REWROTE THE WHOLE GODDAMN THING.

Please enjoy, and know that I will go back and tag people/clean up formatting tomorrow. Right now I just need to post and 😴

——————————————————

Elain Archeron was running late.

Granted, it was only by seven minutes, which—in many social circles—was still considered well within the accepted boundaries of punctuality.

The problem was that a) being late made Elain anxious, and b) there was absolutely nothing polite about Nesta Archeron when she was made to wait, even by her own kin.

Yet another reason it had been critical that Elain arrive on time: Nesta was already likely to be somewhat hacked off when she saw what Elain was wearing tonight, and Elain had hoped to avoid any further dramatics on her elder sister’s part.

She spent half the cab ride downtown trying to convince herself that it was fine that she’d borrowed something out of Nesta’s closet (even if it had been without permission) and that she hadn’t had a choice; she simply didn’t own anything appropriate for dinner at a four-star restaurant. However, by the time the cab slithered under Trump Tower’s unsavory shadow and into Hell’s Kitchen, she’d given up pretending.

The truth was she had half a dozen cocktail dresses that would have been perfectly suitable for dinner in the West Village, even if the place they were going was one of the nicest sushi restaurants in the city. No, Elain had raided Nesta’s closet for a far more embarrassing reason: she’d been in search of a dress she hoped might finally win her Azriel’s attention.

She wasn’t proud of the absurd crush she had on the guy, but it really couldn’t be helped. He was gorgeous, and smart, and darkly funny when he wanted to be, and she’d been secretly mooning over him since they’d met through Feyre’s fiancée three years ago. God, what she wouldn’t give to have him return even a fraction of her feelings.

Apparently not her dignity, Elain thought with a glance down at her neckline.

The worst part was that Azriel seemed oblivious to her interest in him. He was always polite to her, always made a point to talk to her when he caught her hiding out on the balcony during one of Feyre and Rhys’s crazy parties or sit next to her at their big family dinners, but he’d never once given her any indication that he was in any way that he reciprocated her feelings, which should have been reason enough for Elain to pack it in and stop harassing him.

And that was to say nothing of Mor.

Mor was the friend who’d first introduced Feyre and Rhys, and from what Elain could gather, she and Azriel had a long and complicated history. It didn’t seem to matter that Mor had been dating the same girl for over a year now. When she was in the room, Az’s eyes were always on her. Not that Elain blamed him—Mor was gorgeous in a way girls like her could only dream of being. Still, there was no denying the sting of watching the guy you were interested in pine over someone else.

Given all this, Elain wasn’t really sure why she’d gone to such lengths to dress up for this dinner. Mor would surely be there wearing something incredible and couture, thereby rendering everyone else invisible to Azriel. Still, Elain was a hopeless optimist, and she’d stubbornly sold herself on the idea that if she found the perfect dress, she could finally convince Azriel that she was a woman worthy of affection, rather than Nesta’s bookish, boring little sister.

She had to admit, there was nothing bookish about her tonight. The dress was tighter on her that it was her waifish sister, and dear god it deserved a Medal of Honor for the way it managed to keep her boobs looking so perky even without a bra. She didn’t suppose Nesta would be too happy about that bit, either, so she could only hope her sister was in a good mood by the time Elain arrived.

Just then Elain’s phone buzzed, and she looked down at it and groaned. It was from Nesta.

Where the 🤬 are you?

Running late, Elain quickly typed back. Is everyone waiting?

She watched the gray ellipsis pulse at Nesta responded.

Feyre and Rhys aren’t even fucking here yet. But hurry up, Cash is already driving me insane.

Elain rolled her eyes. She wasn’t sure who Nesta thought she was fooling when she and Elain shared a bedroom wall. Nesta and Cassian, Rhys’s other best friend, ended up banging almost every time they saw each other, which—since Rhys and Feyre had gotten engaged four months ago—was fairly frequently. In fact, Cash was at their apartment making Nesta scream so often that Elain had been forced to invest in earplugs and a sound machine. From Elain’s perspective, it seemed rather pointless of Nesta to pretend she wasn’t completely hot of a guy she called “Daddy” in bed.

Elain shuddered at the thought, hoping that Nesta would end up going to Cash and Az’s loft in Williamsburg tonight instead. Though, she realized glumly, they only ever seemed to go there when Azriel was out, and the only person who seemed able to keep Azriel out later than Cash was Mor. That meant Elain’s options were either to pop an Ambien and hope for the best, or stay out and watch Az make moon eyes at Mor all night. Neither one was particularly appearing.

Elain ignored Nesta’s text as the car pulled up outside the restaurant and she wiggled out, smoothing the back of her tight dress before giving her curls what she hoped was an artful tousle before slipping inside.

Elain’s heart felt into her stomach as she took in the elegant but understated interior of the famed Sushi Nakazawa. Given the prices, she’d assumed the place would be all black granite and swanky chandeliers—the kind of place cleavage like hers wouldn’t seem out of place. Instead the place was elegantly spare and distressingly well-lit. God, she was such a prize idiot.

Unfortunately, she was also out of time, because a quick survey of the interior found that her group was already gathered at the bar, Mor, Feyre, and Rhys having showed up in the interim between Nesta’s text and Elain’s arrival.

Elain’s eyes went to Mor first, who stunned in a cardinal red lace and net sheath. It clung to her frame like it had been made for her, and despite a latent jealous she couldn’t quite contain, she was relieved to find that she at least wouldn’t look overdressed.

Elain’s stomach only wended in a tighter knot when Mor’s eyes fell on her and lit up, a reminder that not only was Mor prettier, she was also an infinitely better person than Elain.

“There she is!” Mor beamed, coming forward and hugging Elain. “I love that dress, Ellie!”

Elain braced herself for Nesta’s inevitably remark, but it was actually Cash who reacted first.

He’d opened his mouth to comment seemingly before he’d actually looked at Elain, because the second he realized what exactly she was wearing, his eyes they snapped the ceiling, as if looking at her chest directly might turn him to stone.

“Whoa, El, all dressed up tonight!”

Nesta, wholly unmoved by his attempted chivalry, elbowed him in the ribs.

“Don’t be vulgar Cassian!” She snarled before narrowing her eyes. “And that’s mine!”

Cash smirked, seeming more at ease now that Nesta was his target.

“I knew I’d seen that bef—ow! Goddamnit woman, what was that for?”

He scowled down at the dangerous stiletto Nesta had just jammed into his toe box.

“Sorry,” she cast over her shoulder, not deigning to look at him. “Did I accidentally step on your foot?”

“I’m an adult,” Elain interjected, cheeks burning as she faced her sister down. “Stop acting like I’ve fourteen and stuffing my bra.”

“They’re just boobs, Nes,” Rhys added, arm slung over Feyre’s shoulder. “Relax.”

“Watch it,” Nesta warned him, but Feyre only laughed.

“I agree!” She said, turning to smile at Elain. “And I think they look amazing.”

“If I’d have known they were going to be such a topic of conversation,” Elain mumbled, grateful Azriel wasn’t here to witness this circus. “I would have worn something else.”

“No, I’m with Feyre,” Mor said, wicked grin forming. “Breasts that nice deserve to be shown off.”

Elain wasn’t so humble that she didn’t feel herself preening a bit at that comment, even if she was still flustered by the prolonged attention. Either way, she was grateful when Cash interrupted with a somewhat sheepish laugh.

“Teenage me would be furious if he heard me say this, but can we please stop talking about boobs?”

“Elain’s boobs or just any boobs?” Feyre said with a smirk.

However, before Elain could admonish her for it, Feyre was crushing her into a hug.

“Hey you,” she said, wrapping her arms and Elain’s neck and whispering in her ear, “let me and Rhys know if you wanna stay at our place tonight; Cash already grabbed Nesta’s ass twice when she thought we weren’t looking.”

Feyre indicated the mirror behind the bar with her eyes as they pulled away, and sure enough, Elain watched Cash’s hand as it drew lazy, dangerous circles just above the swell of Nesta’s well-formed behind.

Elain groaned, hugging Rhys now as well. God , her sister was such a hypocrite sometimes.

Ignoring a lingering twinge of annoyance, Elain forced herself to glance in false realization before casually asking, “So where’s the Birthday Boy?”

“He was on his phone out back,” Rhys said, before raising a hand in greeting to someone over Elain’s shoulder. “There he is.”

Elain tried not to look to eager as she turned and drank in all six feet four inches of perfection that was Azriel Macar. He was dressed all in black, from his prada boots to the soft, expensive t-shirt fitted enough to show off his toned physique. Elain honestly had to fight not to swoon as he ran an effortless hand through his glossy sable hair, the longer pomaded pieces on top stand up for a second before falling into an artful tousle.

“Hey Ellie,” he said, gaze on her and gone so quickly that he never even had time to notice her much-discussed cleavage. Instead, his eyes flicked to Mor and held for a long, meaningful beat before he turned back to Elain and added politely, “Thanks for coming.”

“Sure,” she chirped, trying to ignore the fact that he was coming closer, and that in another second she’d be able to smell that divine Givenchy cologne he always wore. “Of course!“

She bent her head, pretending to be fixing the clasp on her bracelet as his scent hit her and she had to bite back a groan. Sweet Jesus, he smelled good. When she looked up again, everyone else was shuffling to their table and Azriel was lingering, a soft smile threatening to the reveal the absolutely devastating dimples in both his cheeks.

“Do I get a hug?” He asked. “It is my birthday after all.”

He extended his arms, and she gave a nervous laugh, accepting the gesture by stringing her arms around his neck.

“Of course,” she repeated stupidly, trying to ignore the way the muscles in his arms flexed as he embraced her. “Happy Birthday.”

At this he squeezed her a little tighter and she fought off genuine giddiness.

It was a friendly gesture, she warned herself, and it ended the minute Mor called, “Az, come sit by me.”

Elain cleared her throat as he pulled away, turning to where Mor was still beckoning. However, before Elain could get too flustered, he turned back to her.

“Shall we?” he said, indicating Elain go ahead of him. To her delight, they reached the table to find that the only two seats left were next to each other. She tried not to give her eagerness too much leash as he pulled out her chair for her before sinking into the one between she and Mor. Mor leaned over to give him a soft peck on the cheek, and he flushed.

“Where’s Emmy tonight?” Feyre asked as Mor tried to wipe the lipstick from Az’s copper skin and he battered her away, like child trying to fend off an over-bearing mother.

“She’s sick, poor little thing,” Mor said, giving a tiny pout. “She hasn’t been able to get out of bed in days.”

Elain didn’t bother to her disappointment. Emerie had been one of Nesta’s best since they’d met in college almost ten years ago, and she not only was she like family to the Archerons, she also happened to be the only person in the group who knew about Elain’s crush. Elain had sworn her to secrecy at the time, and though it would have been reasonable to assume that once Emmy knew, Mor would know, Elain appreciated that she could trust Emerie to keep her secret.

Elain felt Emerie’s absence keenly and Nesta and Cash began bantering back and forth at lightning speed. Emerie was a master at slowing the tempo of Nesta’s quick wit, making it easier for Elain in particular to feel she could keep up.

More selfishly, Elain also missed Emerie’s ability to keep Mor distracted. When Emmy was around, she was all Mor could focus on. However, in her absence Mor’s attention had reverted almost completely to Az, a fact he didn’t seemed to mind a single bit, if his growing smiles were any indication.

Still, he seemed to be going out of his way to make sure Elain didn’t get lost in the chaos of conversation surging around them, even if he never looked at her for more than a moment or two before his eyes flicked back to Mor, studying her dark brown eyes and crimson lips.

After they placed their drink orders and the waiter came over to begin explaining the omakase menu, Elain wondered if she had time to dodge under the table to throw on some lipstick of her own. Assuring herself everyone was suitably distracted she bent down, hastily uncapping the tube before looking up just in time to see Nesta brush a very deliberate hand between Cassian’s splayed quads.

Elain jerked back, banging her head on the table.

“Fuck!” she swore quietly, straightening and rubbing her head.

Nesta shot her an alarmed look across the table and Elain flushed.

“All you alright?” Azriel asked, and she tried not to bleat in excited panic as his fingers brushed the back of her head. “What happened?”

“I—dropped something,” she fumbled, cursing her sister for being such a salacious wench.

Wasn’t it enough that she and Cash were already going to keep her up all night? Did she really have to make Elain look silly in front of Azriel, too?

“Does it hurt?” Azriel said, still studying her head before letting his eyes go to the server. “Do you need ice?”

“No, no,” Elain said hurriedly, trying to regain her composure. “I’m fine.”

“Did you at least find whatever you were looking for?” Mor asked, and Elain’s flush deepened.

“And then some,” she grumbled to herself, and Cassian gave a quiet but unmistakable laugh before letting out a surprised exhale. Elain had a fairly good idea what Nesta was squeezing to shut him up.

“Should we order, then?” Mor asked, hand falling onto Azriel’s arm. “Any particular requests, Birthday Boy?”

“He’s thirty now,” Rhys pointed out. “I think that makes him a Birthday Man .”

“Birthday Old Man,” Cassian amended. “Don’t worry champ, I’ve already put some viagra in your bathroom.”

“You’re not supposed to share your prescriptions, Cash,” Azriel said with mirth, eyes sparkling even as his face remained neutral. “And besides, I would feel dead back if you needed one tonight and couldn’t find them.”

“Checkmate,” Mor purred as Cash flipped her off.

Beside Azriel, Elain was fighting not to blush again. Cash’s comment, however sophomoric and lewd, had her imagining what Azriel was like in bed. She wondered for a moment if Mor knew before dismissing the thought and the twinge it induced.

“Let’s put this poor souls out of his misery and order,” Feyre said, smiling at the server where he still waited patiently. “Maybe if Cash’s mouth is full, he’ll stop talking.”

Cassian grinned, and, after placing their requests for the chef’s tasting menu, they all settled into an easy conversation. Cash and Rhys regaled them with stories of Azriel at various ages, from the gawky child he’d been when they’d first met him to the shy teenager who’d been terrified of girls.

“Let him be,” Mor said, touching her friend’s shoulder. “He was sweet in high school!”

Rhys laughed.

“It took him a year to pluck up the courage to say three words to you,” he pointed out.

“And they were ‘here’s a pen’ in response to you asking him the time. Nice work, Shakespeare,” Cash said, attempting to muss Azriel’s perfectly styled hair before being batted away.

“I can’t imagine Az ever being awkward,” Elain blurted. “I bet girls thought he was mysterious and cool.“

“See?” Azriel said, gesturing to Elain. “This is why I sat over here.”

“Oh please ,” Rhys said, bubbling his lips. “Ellie’s just being polite. If you two had known each other in high school, we all know how to would’ve gone: you’d have had an obscene crush on her and your dreams of true love would have been dashed after she politely signed your yearbook ‘have a good summer, Adrian’, leaving you heartbroken and alone.”

Azriel gave Elain a soft smile, and her heart burst open as thousands of butterflies flitted out of it.

“I hate to say it, but he’s probably right,” he told her. “I assume high school Elain was very popular.”

“She was,” Feyre said. “Eight different guys asked her to prom.”

“I’m not surprised,” Az said, and Elain made a great show out of drinking out of her masu to avoid having to answer.

She was relieved when the food began arriving to distract everyone, if only to save her the temptation of telling Azriel that there was no universe in which she wouldn’t have been into him, high schoolers or no.

Instead discussion turned to the Feyre and Rhys’s wedding as they ate, and as final plates were being cleared, Cash took the opportunity to once again mocked Azriel for the fact the latter had lost the rock-paper-scissors competition to be Rhys’s best man.

“I lost on purpose,” he told Elain quietly, taking a sip of the Yamasaki Single Malt he’d ordered after dinner.

“Why?” she laughed, following his gaze across the table to where Cash and Nesta were now bickering about whether Rhys’s stag night in Vegas would be better than Feyre’s hen do in Napa.

“Because Rhys told me that you’d convinced Feyre to pick Nesta as her maid of honor, and no offense, but your sister terrifies me. I’d much rather be with you.”

She laughed, biting her lip. It felt so terribly like they were flirting, but she couldn’t decide if it was her imagination or not.

“She terrifies everyone,” Elain said. “And I have a feeling this won’t our last trip down the aisle together.”

Azriel only quirked a bemused brow at this, which had Elain flushing scarlet.

“Not like that! She laughed, fumbling to pretend the idea of them being together was absurd rather than her heart’s desire. "I meant for Cash and Nesta’s wedding. Don’t tell me those two aren’t going to end up together.”

“We’ll have to work out a custody agreement when they finally get over themselves and start dating properly,” he agreed. “I’m spending a fortune on earplugs.”

She laughed, and he seemed warmed by the gesture, because he flashed a modest—albeit dimpled—smile being turning back to the larger conversation.

After dinner they’d gone a cocktail bar, then an Irish pub, and finally—much to Azriel’s chagrin—a karaoke bar. Rhys and Cash spend the majority of the evening trying to wrestle Azriel on stage while Mor and Feyre sang duets to Beyoncé and Spice Girls.

Elain was content enough to sit back and simply observe the scene as it unfolded around her. It was hard to contain her giddy, dreadful anticipation when Mor left around one to check on Emerie and Azriel—besides bidding her farewell with a soft kiss on the cheek—didn’t move a muscle.

Less than an hour later, Cash and Nesta both disappeared about an hour after without so much as a goodbye. Elain groaned, hoping they’d be asleep by the time she got home.

She’d have to rally if she wanted to manage it; they would be at it for hours yet.

By three the place was clearing out, and besides them, only a few tables of marathon drinkers and a girl on stage performing a beautiful rendition of Fleetwood Mac’s “Landslide” remained.

“We’re gonna go,” Rhys said, arm slung around a rather drunk, giggling Feyre. “Ellie, do you want to come with us?”

Elain glanced at Azriel, who’s glass still had two fingers of whiskey in it. If she wanted a chance to be alone with him, this was it.

“I think I’ve got one more in me,” she said, smiling.

“If you mean drink, I’m in,” Azriel said.

“Oh c’mon, brother,” Rhys goaded. “Just one song. I wouldn’t even film it….much.”

“Do Beyoncé!” Feyre chimed in, and Azriel shook his head.

“You know I’d play in traffic before I ever sang karaoke,” Azriel said mildly, making Feyre laugh. "Thanks for coming.”

He rose, embracing Rhys and pressing a kiss on Feyre’s head.

“C’mon, my little drunkard,” Rhys told her. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Let’s have sex when we get home,” Feyre said, her attempted whisper fully audible. Rhys pretended smack his forehead with his palm and a mimed, “ Oh brother ”, to Azriel and Elain before coax a still-singing Feyre outside.

Azriel chuckled before draining the last of his drink and rising. Elain pretended not to notice the way his well-tailored jeans fit his lean legs and…other parts of his anatomy as he adjusted his belt buckle and glanced down at her.

“Bud Light?” he asked, and she nodded, bobbing to her feet as well.

If she wanted a way to get closer to him that was more elegant than her increasing urge to crawl across the table and into his lap, this was certainly it.

“I’ll come with you.”

He flashed her a modest smile before indicating she lead the way. He ordered and waved off Elain’s attempt to pay before leaning on the bar to avoid towering over her. The gesture brought them nearly eye-to-eye, and Elain had to actively fight not to let hers roll back in pleasure at the bergamot and amyris wood notes in his sinful cologne. Up close Elain could see how much green he had in his hazel irises, and she wanted to tip into them and swim until she drowned.

“Did you have fun?” she said, desperate to get the conversation flowing again, and he smiled, making her stomach flop.

“I did, yeah,” he said, glancing around the bar in bemusement, as if still wondering how he’d ended up there. “Thank you for coming.”

Elain shrugged, grinning.

“You say that like you didn’t think I’d show,” she said, resting a cheek in her hand. She knew by now her expression was not her less than a swoon, though she couldn’t bring herself to care.

Hadn’t been this been her plan all along? Finally get Az’s attention long enough to tell him how she felt? Now was the best chance she’d probably ever get.

“No, I figured would,” Az said, interrupting her reverie. “Or hoped you would, whatever.”

Was that—

Did that mean what she thought it did?

Normally she would have chalked it up to wishful thinking, but the way he rubbed the back of his neck, dimples appearing as he huffed what almost sound like a sheepish laugh, had hope igniting in her chest.

“What does that mean?” she pressed, forcing herself to meet his gaze.

For the first time all night, he didn’t look away. Instead, his eyes skated back and forth across her face, as if she were a riddle he only had seconds to memorize. She watched, transfixed, as he wet his plush lower lip with his tongue before biting it almost self-consciously.

“It means I’m glad you came,” he admitted. “And that you didn’t go home with your sister and Rhys.”

It wasn’t the confirmation she’d been hoping for, and the ambiguity of the statement had her conviction waning. That could just as easily have been mean platonically, and if she pushed him and ruined things between them by making it awkward—

“Of course I’d be here for your birthday,” she said, giving his shoulder a playful shove. “That’s what friends are for.”

She couldn’t help the way her voice got stuck on the word, not when her throat suddenly began to clog with tears.

She had to get out of here, right now. Before she started crying and made things worse. She made to retract her hand but Azriel grabbed it, grip gentle but intent.

“El, don’t go,” he said, and she was surprised at the frank discontent in his normally-impassive expression.

She waited for him to explain himself before instead he let out another strained laugh, grip on her wrist easing. However, he didn’t let go entirely, choosing to intertwine their fingers instead.

Holding hands.

She and Az were holding hands.

And he—

She glanced back up to find he was studying her again, his face a mixture of terror and delight. When she gave his hand a soft squeeze, he let out the breath he’d been holding.

“Jesus, I am bad at this,” he said, reaching up to tuck a curl behind her ear. She wasn’t sure if she’d imagined it, but she thought his gaze flicked down to her lips as he continued to study her with heavy-lidded eyes.

“Bad at what?” She asked, though she’d begun to suspect she knew exactly what, even if it seemed too good to be true.

“At least my timeline is improving,” he breathed instead. “And I haven’t offered you a pen you didn’t ask for yet.”

Hoping she wasn’t misreading the situation, she let her finger trail down to trace the circular buckle of his Gucci before glancing back up at him and purring, “Do you have a pen?”

He smirked before raising his right wrist and glancing at his watch face over her shoulder.

“It’s….3:17 am,” he said, smile spreading as she gave a low sound of approval and flicked her gaze to his lips.

“Smooth,” she said, and tried not to lose her mind as he let his raised hand fall to the back of her neck and bent to kiss her.

He had almost girlishly full lips, and they opened for her as they settled into the kiss. Immediately his hand tangled in her hair so he could alter her head position slightly and get a proper taste of her. She groaned into his mouth he pulled at her lower lip with his teeth. He tasted like oranges and the expensive Japanese whiskey he’d been drinking all night, and pleasure tightened in her low belly as his tongue brushed hers. Her brought his free hand up to cradle her face, and in response she pushed closer to run her hands underneath of his shirt and down the silken skin of his back.

“Fuck,” he breathed with a heated half-laugh, nose brushing her cheek as he bowed into her touch. “You’re killing me, woman.”

She only smirked, feeling more confident now that she had before. She could hardly believe this was happening, but she was too excited about it to fully care.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said, and he bit his lip, as if restraining himself from kissing her again.

“Like to another bar?” he asked, dazed as he continued to stare at her lips.

“Like to my bed,” she said boldly. “Or yours, depending on where Cassian and Nesta ended up.”

He didn’t speak immediately, just studied her, and she panicked.

“I mean, only if you—I’m sorry, should I not have—?“

He only kissed her again in response, more gently this time.

“Please stop apologizing,” he said, kissing her jaw now before seeming to realize something and pulling back, brows synced.

“I—Jesus, do you seriously not know?”

She felt a bit sheepish at his incredulous tone and fought not to stiffen.

“Know what?”

He laughed softly, though their was a edge of self-deprecation in it that kept the gesture from seeming conscending.

“I really am the worst at this.”

“At what?”

“El, I’ll crazy about you. I have been crazy about you since we met.”

“You have?” she blurted, horror fading into genuine—if elated—confusion.

He laughed.

“Did you think it was coincidence that you and I are always sitting next to each other at dinner? That I always find you at Rhys’s dumb parties?”

“I—“ she began, still trying to decide if this was a dream or not. “What about Mor, though?”

“Mor?” he repeated, confused now, too. “What about her?”

“I thought you and she—“

He leaned in to brush his nose against hers, and she blushed at the innocent affection in the gesture.

“Not at all,” he assured her. “I did have a thing for her in high school, but I got over it after she and Cash slept together at prom. We’re just friends, I swear.”

“But she’s always touching you, and every time I see you together you can’t stop looking at her.”

At this he laughed, his smile so genuine and open she almost didn’t recognize him.

“She’s always been touchy-feely,” he said. “She grew up in Madrid, and people are just more affectionate there, I guess. And I only watch her when you’re around because she called me out for having an absurd crush on you, and I was afraid she was going to get drunk and blow my cover by telling you.”

Elain shook her head, still not quite believing what she was hearing. Reading her expression, he bent to kiss her softly.

“What guy wouldn’t be crazy about you?” he breathed. “You’re incredible.”

This seemed to break the spell, and she twined her fingers in his hair and pulled him down for another steamy kiss.

“Text Cash,” she said a little breathlessly when they broke away. “I don’t want an audience.”

She couldn’t felt but feeling smug when he almost dropped his phone at those words. It felt good to know that she wasn’t the only one affected by all this.

“Cash and Nesta are at the lof—“ Az began after a minute, but Elain cut him off with a kiss.

H rose, pulling her against him as his tongue brushed the roof of her mouth.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” he said as she kissed his neck and tugged on his earlobe with her teeth, earning a low groan. “You’ve been drinking.”

She grabbed his chin so he would look at her.

“Not that much,” she said, and it was true. “And besides, I wanted this way before tonight.“

“Good,” he breathed, pressing a hand to her low back to bring her close to him. “Because so have I.”

Though they spent the majority of the ride up town and the elevator up to her apartment making out, something seemed to shift as Elain’s door clicked shut behind him, as if the gravity of what they were about to do had finally caught up to them.

Reluctantly Az peeled his lips from where they’d been glued to her neck as he took a small step back, as if to give her space.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, feeling embarrassed for how much she still wanted him even now that he seemed to have come to his senses.

“Maybe we should—” he broke off, looking somewhat guilty. “Hold off.”

She nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay again.

“Are you worried this could mess things up in the group? Because I understand—“

“No,” he said hurriedly, coming forward again, as if he could no longer stand to be away. “Not at all. I just—you’re special, El. You deserve to be taken out and spoiled.”

“Az, you just took us to a $1,800 dinner! Or did you think I didn’t see you pulling our server aside?”

Azriel opened his mouth, and she covered it with a finger.

“You don’t need to earn my affection. It’s yours already, free of charge.”

“I’ve just been—I waited so long to make my move and I’m terrified of fucking it up,” he said with a soft laugh.

“Why, are you bad at sex?”

Azriel laughed, seemed to relax at her teasing.

“I’ve never had any complaints,” he breathed again her lips, kissing her deeply again.

She gently bit his lower lip in response.

“Then I’d say you’ve gotten nothing to worry about,” she said, kissing him a third time.

She moaned softly when drove his fingers into her hair, hips canting towards her as he pressed her more fully into the door.

She could feel his body’s reaction to her pressing between her thighs, and she moaned again.

“Fuck,” he breathed onto her skin. “You are so gorgeous.”

“So are you,” she said, running her hands up the back of his t-shirt and feeling the mosaic of muscles flexing underneath. “Take this off.”

He laughed and pulled the offending garment over his head, making her groan in delight.

“God, this body ,” she breathed, running a hand down his chest and enjoying his shiver at her delicate touch.

He responded by spinning her away from him and gently dragging down the zipper of her dress until he could slip a hand inside of it.

“I knew you couldn’t have a bra on underneath this thing,” he said, voice a touch smug as he cupped both bare breasts and her breath caught in her throat..

“I’m surprised you even noticed,” she said, voice somewhat. “I wore this dress for you, and you didn’t even look at it once the entire evening.”

She laughed, the sound into a soft moan as he twisted one nipple in experimentation. When she sighed and let her head fall back onto his shoulder.

“Of course I noticed the dress,” he corrected. “You have the most perfect tits I’ve ever seen. I just knew that if I let myself look, I might not be able to stop looking.”

“You shouldn’t say that until you’ve seen them without the sorcery of underwire,” she said.

With that he spun her to face him, catching her gaze to ensure he had her permission before tugging down the top of the dress so her breasts fell free.

“Gorgeous,” he said, easing to his knees so he could replace his fingers with his mouth. “Absolutely gorgeous.”

“If I known this was going to be your reaction, I would have worn a bodycon dress in front of you ages ago,” she said, threading her hands through his hair as he dragged his teeth and tongue along her nipple.

“You don’t need some tight dress to be sexy,” he said, resting his chin her her sternum so he could gaze up at her. “I’d take you in your overalls and pigtail braids any day.”

“Is this some Pippy Longstocking fetish we should all know about?”

He grinned, rising to his feet and giving one of her curls a playful tug.

“Because as devastating as you are playing dress up in your sister’s clothes, I prefer you as you.”

“You can’t say that when I’m naked,” she said with a smile, touching his cheek.

“Why not?”

“Because I may start crying and ruin the mood.”

He cocked his head to the side, tracing her lips with a finger.

“I wouldn’t mind a few tears from you in bed. But only if it’s from you sobbing in pleasure.”

His words sent blood pooling south, the intensity cause a dull throbbing.

“Why do I feel like you could do it, too?” She asked, reaching down to free his belt as he heeled out of his boots.

“Don’t tempt me,” he said, taking her hand and guiding it between his legs. “Forget this,” he said, squeezing gently so she could feel how hard he was. “I could go down on your all night and be the happiest guy on Earth.”

Emerie had said as much once, at a drunken girls’ night.

Azriel strikes me as the type of guy who loves eating girls out. It’s why gay women find him so easy to befriend; we recognize kindred spirit.

Elain vowed to never tell the others she’d been right.

“Will you let me?” He asked, gently nudging her dressing off her hips until it came free and pooled at her feet.

“Is this a trick question?” She said, voice going hoarse as he slipping a hand into her underwear.

“Some people don’t like it.”

“I’m not one of them,” she said, he smiled, coaxing her legs around his waist so he could carry her.

“Thank God,” he replayed. “That would break my heart. Which way?”

She pointed him in the right direction before giving into temptation and kissing him again, looking to way she could feel like body reacting to hers as he held her close. Only when they reached her room—which was decidedly messier than she’d have liked considering Azriel Macar was now in it—did he set her down.

He wasted no time into coaxing her onto the bed, taking only a moment to admire the silky black thong she wore before dragging into down her thighs and discarding it.

“Spread your legs for me, El,” he said, brushing kisses to her knee as she slowly did as he commanded.

The light from the nearby street lamp made the room a lot less dark than Elain was used to during sex, and for a moment she though to be embarrassed or postpone. Then she glanced down to admire the contrast of Azriel’s inky black hair framed against the pale skin of her thighs, and she forgot what it even meant to be self-conscious as he finally put him mouth on her.

She swore at the first brush of his tongue, which was both deliberate and extremely delicate. She threaded a hand through his hair at his second stroke, the touch more intentional this time.

“Azriel,” she breathed.

She watched the muscles in his beautiful back shift at this, as if hearing her moan his name had untethered something in him. When he put his mouth back on her, it was clear he was no longer attempted to tease her. Instead he felt right to where she needed him most, refusing to relent until she tipped over the edge.

Even then he didn’t seem satisfied, it and it was only after he made her come a second time did he pull back, licking his lips before bending to kiss her.

“Take your pants off,” she demanded. "Right now.”

She felt him grinning against her neck as he peeled off of her, slowly working the buttons of his pants before sliding them down his trim hips. He wore black boxer briefs underneath, and he honestly looked like an Armani model. She bit her lip, eying the sizable swell of him through the cotton.

“Those too,” she breathed, greedily drinking in his well-defined adonis belt and the bare trace of hair above the band.

He did as she commanded, and she nearly melted. Naked he was a God, all rippling muscles and smooth unblemished skin, save for the chest piece tattoo that extended onto his shoulders and halfway down his arms. She let her eyes sink lower. Even half-hard he was big, and her belly clenched.

Wasting no time, she urged him to take her place on the bed before kneeling at his feet and putting her mouth on it.

“Shit,” he hissed, driving a hand into his hand then down his face. “Ellie, you’re kiling me.”

She looked up at him through her lashes, and he growled in approval, seeming to decide something before breaking her grip on him and hauling her to her feet. He kissed her again, and she could feel his cock as it practically pulsed between them.

She still wasn’t sure she could believe it was for her, that somehow he wanted her as much as she did him, and had for almost as long.

“Condoms,” he breathed against her mouth. “I need to be inside of you.”

She froze.

“I don’t have any,” she said, dismayed.

How could she be so stupid? Why didn’t they stop on the way home? The closest bodega was six blocks, and she knew everyone who worked there. The last thing she needed was all of them knowing—

Azriel pressed a swift kiss to her lips before tangling from her.

“Where are you going?”

“To grab a condom.”

“Naked?

He flashed her a slight grimace, “Let’s agree you won’t ask where I get it from.”

“Oh Moses,” Elain said, face flushing scarlet as she listened to Nesta’s door creaking open.

Azriel was back in less than a minute, tossing an entire box onto the nightstand as he pulled open one of the foils with his teeth, using his free hand to push his damp hair, long enough to brush his cheekbones now that it wasn’t styled, out of his eyes.

“You found those distressingly fast,” Elain said, unsure if she was amused or mortified at the situation.

“Cash is predictable with his hiding spots,” Az said, eyes hooded as he stroked himself several times before rolling the condom onto his length.

“And why did you take the whole box?”

Azriel laughed softly.

“Because I have a feeling we’re going to need them.”

Without another word Az sank to his knees again, one hand lazily stroking himself to maintain his erection as he went down on her again.

This time it only last three seconds or so before he pulled back, resting one knee beside her hip to steady himself before pulling her onto his shaft in a single wet stroke. Using her left bent leg as leverage, he adjusted his angle, smirking at her low, guttural moan of pleasure.

“Good to know your g-spot is as sensitive as the rest of you,” he breathed, and she laughed and tugged him into an ambitious rhythm.

Soon the only sound was their shared breathing, and the sliding on their bodies against one another. She came first, and he followed even before the dizzying waves of pleasure ceased. He pumped lazily in and out of her for another half dozen stroke before gently extracting from her and peeling off the condom.

She curled against him, cheek pressed to chest as her hands continued to explore. Her fingers caressed his swelling pectorals and each of his abdominal muscles before lazily venturing back between his legs. He gave a hiss of pleasure as she began to work his silken shaft in earnest, and in minutes he was fully ready again.

He groaned when she snatched one of the condoms and rolled it onto him before swinging a leg over and sinking astride him.

Her third orgasm hit her only a short time later, and she sighed when he bucked up into her before going languid under her ministrations.

She leaned down to kiss him as he ran a soothing hand down her back.

“Jesus,” he breathed, pressing his forehead to hers and swirling his hips, still inside her despite his orgasm. “That was incredible.”

She purred her contentment, feeling something even more alluring than desire swell in her chest as he discarded the second condom and tugged her into his arms, tangling their legs. He still smelled like cologne, but it had mixed with her perfume, and sweat, and the scent was intoxicating. She wanted to bath in it—in him—until she died from bliss. She listened to his breathing even out, and as she was drifting off to bed, he felt his breath ruffle her hair.

“Do you like pancakes?” he murmured. “I want to make you breakfast in the morning.”

“Really?” she said, looking at him over a shoulder and melting at the warmth in his smile, less guarded now than it had been even hours before.

“I want to make breakfast for you every morning,” he breathed. “I have since I met you.”

She smiled, nestling closer to him.

“I’d love that, but I should probably be the one making you breakfast. It is your birthday, after all. You have to let me give you something other than a bj and a few orgasms for your birthday, even if it is your dirty 30.”

Az choked on a laugh.

“Say you‘ll dinner with me, then. No family or nosy friends around, just us.”

“I think the word you’re looking for it ‘date’,” she said, laughing as his cheeks flushed before realizing something. “Or is the idea just too formal for the situation? I know we did things a bit backwards...”

“We did,” he agreed, stroking her cheek. “But that doesn’t mean I want to spoil you any less. So yes a date, if you’ll still have me.”

“I will,” she said, meeting his hazel eyes before gently kissing him. “With pleasure.”

He smiled against her mouth.

“Then that’s the only birthday gift I want or need from you.”

She smiled, feeling happy to the point of bursting when he kissed her ear and closed his eyes again.

"Happy Birthday, Az.”

His hum of contentment vibrated through her back.

“The happiest,” he breathed.